#i have so many thoughts ab her
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Guys... Can I talk ab the Marnie lore for the main story I'm writing for my interp of Stardew...
Too bad, doin it anyways
Marnie Lore Doc is Here!!!
This mostly goes over her backstory as in what she was like when she was younger, all the basic story points of what happened with her leading up to the parts that I'm writing about in my fanfics (there will be no spoilers here)
CW for some talks of health and death
Everything is below the cut!
Marnie and her sister Mona were born in 1959 (Stardew in my writing takes place around 2010) and grew up in the ranch house in Pelican Town. The farm had been in the family for generations now, the Yoder family taking great pride in their roots as PA Dutch people. The girlsā father instilled the ideals of working hard and taking pride in said work from a young age, having them help out on the ranch when they were as young as 5.Ā
The girls were each other's best friends growing up, and they grew extremely close. They knew each other's deepest secrets and biggest dreams, and supported each other wholeheartedly. Mona was the first person to know that Marnie wanted to be a textile artist instead of a rancher. It wasnāt like she didnāt like the animals, she loved them! But life in the valley felt too stagnant for her, and she felt like she could only truly excel if she made something of herself out in the world. Mona supported her wholeheartedly, giving her praises and critiques on her works, and overall being her biggest fan. Her father wasnāt exactly so excited about this, however. He worried that going out into the city would change his daughter too much, make her forget her roots. Not to mention, the ranch needed to be cared for. It took a lot of convincing from Marnie, and Mona assuring him that sheād take over the business for him to finally come to accept that choice.
She worked for the ranch through highschool and into her early 20ās to save up to go to her dream college, a fabulous arts institute in Zuzu City. It was incredibly expensive, but she managed to save every spare cent to pay for her classes. She was so proud of herself, as were her father and Mona. Unfortunately, the year before she was set to go didnāt go as planned for anyone. Their father passed away unexpectedly, leaving Mona as the sole caretaker of the ranch. Marnie offered to stay home, to push off college and help Mona with the work, but she kept insisting she could handle it, telling Marnie to pursue her goals. Reluctantly, she agreed to go forward with college, thanking Mona for being so kind and understanding.Ā
The first year away at college was interesting to say the least! The valley was so small and tight knit, and it was jarring seeing so many people all crammed into one place like in the city. Marnie felt like a true fish out of water. People in the city commented on her clothes, how she ātalked funnyā, and how her mannerisms were āoddā. She started feeling like maybe she made a mistake, and almost went home during orientation week. However, she changed her mind after meeting her roommate, Pamela Finch.
Ā She was anā¦ odd woman to say the least. Pam dressed in all kinds of bright, funky clothes, wore heavy makeup and had her blonde hair teased to high heaven, the poster child of the 80ās. She didnāt seem to take many things too seriously, just āgoing wherever the wind took herā. College was her dadās idea, as he wanted her to do something big and important with her life. But Pam? Her dream was being a trucker, driving all across the country with nothing but the open road and the radio to keep her company. Though in many ways they were opposites, Marnie grew to enjoy her company. They were both considered āoddā by people in the city, just in different ways. Pam was her best friend of all time, a fun and rowdy one who got in all sorts of trouble. They were great for each other, though. Pam was able to mellow out a little and Marnie was brought out of her shell through their friendship.
On top of gaining a new friend, Marnie would soon gain another family member! She and Mona made it a point to call each other at least 3 times a week, updating each other on their lives. Marnie typically was the one with the most exciting news to share, as the valley often was not exciting, but Mona actually had something interesting to share. She was going to have a baby, and Marnie was over the moon at the thought of being an aunt. When she asked who Mona was seeing, and when she would meet the lucky man, Mona got standoffish. The man pretty much ghosted her when he found out, and Mona didn't want to talk about it. Marnie got the hint quick and wouldnāt bring it up again.
The next spring, right after the Spring semester let out, Marnie went home to meet the baby for the first time. This baby would be her little nephew Shane, and he was the cutest thing she ever sawā¦ though she was a bit taken aback at his purple hair. The shock wore off quickly, Marnie claiming that such a unique trait was the mark of a future artist like herself! She absolutely adored and spoiled her nephew, and was so pained to leave him and Mona to go back to the city once the Fall rolled around.Ā
When she got back, she dormed with Pam once again, who proudly announced that she had gotten married over the Summer! The two barely knew each other for two months, but she swore they were in love. He was the man of her dreams, a wild and handsome trucker who promised to take her all over the country with him as soon as she was out of college. Her dad was not happy about this, almost disowning Pam over it, but he eventually came around to it and reluctantly accepted his daughter's choice.Ā (Pam would only come to realize YEARS later that she was dealing with comphet, and realizes she's a lesbian when she moves back to Pelican town)
The next school year was exciting, consisting of many elaborate projects and even gallery showings for Marnie! Mona showed up to every single one she could, always telling her sister she was gonna go far with this. It gave her the motivation to keep pushing herself above and beyond, making more conceptual pieces, always inserting symbols of the culture she grew up in and loved so much. She promised her dad she wouldnāt forget her roots, and stuck by that promise.Ā
In her Junior year, Marnie found herself getting considered for a grand opportunity, an apprenticeship with one of the greatest artists guilds in the country. The job would almost guarantee herself a spot in the art scene. She was ecstatic, overjoyed! Pam insisted they go to a party that night to celebrateā¦ and Marnie learned quickly that she did not enjoy the party scene, especially after she got stuck with a nasty hangover in the morning.Ā
She chose to work even harder on her art, improving steadily to prove that she deserved this apprenticeship, and her spot in the art world. Her dreams were coming true before her eyes, and she couldnāt possibly be more excited. Whenever she called Mona, she had the most enthusiastic voice, chattering away about all her plans and projects, everything that kept her so busy. But perhaps she was too busy, at least too busy to realize Mona was progressively beginning to sound more tired and unwell with each call.Ā
Mona convinced herself she was able to handle the ranch and a child, but it was becoming clear she couldnāt. The stress was taking a toll on her health, and she was already starting to go gray in her twenties. She was getting weaker as time passed, the strain of it all having disastrous effects. She refused to tell Marnie though, knowing she would drop everything to come back home, give up and turn back when she was so close to touching the stars. Marnie noticed when she came back home though, seeing how much older and tired her sister looked. She insisted she was going to stay home, Mona telling her no, and a fight broke out between the two over it. Marnie eventually agreed to go back to school and finish her degree, though she felt uneasy about it.Ā
Senior year was nerve wracking. All the work she had put into this degree was under intense scrutinization, the apprenticeship on the line. All those sleepless nights and days spent squirreled away in the textiles studio were finally paying off. Marnie was noticeably off her game this year though, her thoughts too preoccupied with Mona's health. She was also afraid she was going to fumble this, make a fool of herself in front of everyone and lose the opportunity. But to her surprise, and relief, she was chosen in the end. Upon graduating she would start the apprenticeship, and join the greats in the art world! This shouldāve been the happiest time in her life, and it couldāve been if not for the devastating call she got just after graduation.
She and Pam were clearing out their dorm, talking about the future and all the exciting things they had planned. They had graduated just a few days ago, and the excitement was still buzzing in them (though Marnie couldn't help but feel disappointed that Mona couldn't come).
Pam was talking about starting a family with her husband, so excited about the life she saw ahead for the two of them. And Marnie would be on her way to New York, living the high life in the big city and throwing her life into her work. Pam promised to visit her if her work ever brought her to the state.
Marnie chattered on about her plans once she got to the city, getting interrupted by the phone ringing. It was a call from back home. The town doctor was on the line, informing her Mona was hospitalized, and the outlook wasnāt good. Life ground to a halt immediately. Marnie packed the rest of her things as fast as she could, rushing out the door without saying goodbye to her roommate, speeding home as fast as she could.
She didnāt leave Monaās side once in her last moments, the two talking about life, regrets, and what the future would be like. Marnie scolded her for not opening up about how bad it actually was, and for insisting she go back to school when the stress was legitimately killing her. Mona told her she just wanted her to follow her dream, but if her dream came at the cost of her sister, her best friend, Marnie didnāt want it. Mona asked her to take care of Shane, and Marnie promised she would. By the next morning, Mona was gone.
Marnie of course had to turn down the apprenticeship, moving right back into her childhood home instead of that flashy apartment in the city she had looked forward to. Getting back into the rhythm of ranch life, and adjusting to life with a toddler was difficult, to say the least. The guilt of knowing this is just how Mona felt for so long weighed on her heart, and she promised herself she would do her best to make up for that. As time went on, life began to get easier, though it was never the same. Having no support system, no close friends or any family here was so hard. But she had her nephew, and knowing that he needed her kept her going.Ā
About two years later, a very familiar woman moved into town, trailer hitched to the back of a pickup truck. When Marnie realized it was Pam of all people, she was overjoyed. Finally, she had a close friend, a familiar face back in the valley with her! She had a baby of her own too, a little girl named Penny that she just adored. Pam explained how her husband had walked out on them recently, and she decided to settle back here for a simpler pace. She was going to take over the bus driving job as well, a position that had very recently opened up! The two talked about the past few years, exchanging stories of the highs and lows of it all. Neither of them expected to be here in Pelican Town, living such similar lifestyles after having such lofty goals and dreams. Pam seemed to find the humor in it though, and expressed that she hoped Penny and Shane would grow up to be good friends. (They would not </3 )
The next few years were a whirlwind. The ranch was a lot of work of course, but there was so much more too! Sheād been invited to an aerobics group with all the other ladies in town, won the valley fair quite a few times, had a short, fleeting romance with the man running the saloon, her nephew came out to her as trans (Marnie was actually the one to pick out the name Shane!), the old farmer next door had struck a wonderful business deal with her, and she surprisingly found herself happy in this spot in life.Ā
This life wasnāt the one she had planned, that was for sure. There were still many things that she regretted, so many things she wished she couldāve done and achieved. She still grieved too, grieving the loss of her opportunity and her sister. But despite it all, and through all the future troubles and misfortunes that would befall her family, she couldnāt help but keep a glimmer of hope that everything would be okay in the end. And with time, it would be.
Pam and Marnie YEARS in the future, almost 30 years after college, will come to realize they have feelings for each other. Pam fell first but Marnie fell harder when she came to realize she also likes women. The two are married and living their best life on the ranch, very much in love
#stardew valley#sdv#sdv marnie#Stardew Valley marnie#MARNIE I LOVE UUUU BEST VILLAGER#i have so many thoughts ab her#i wanna write n draw about her and Pams college adventures so bad i have ideas#i love the idea of marnie being into art and being really good idk why#the hcs of Marnies family being PA Dutch and Shane being transmasc mean so much to me u have no idea#anyways im cringef but free#or whatever the kids say
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Ok actually cause I shOULD talk about it hereās some transfem Bi-Han ghostly shadow clone sex from a discord convo.
āāā
Bi-Han grunted quietly, her face buried in the pillow and her fists curled in tightly next to it.
Her shadow was half risen from her skin behind her, a damp, cool weight enveloping her shoulders and flush down the line of her back and thighs. It felt like watery breath, heavy with a weight still half-merged with her own, but autonomous, ghostly, dripping.
The shadow made a sound of its own as its hips continued to rock down, perhaps in echo of hers, reedy and whisper quiet. Bi-Han could feel it inside, black matter oozing slowly from where they were connected, its mass bulging inside of her and phasing the impression of a hard cock past her walls and into her abdomen.
It was horribly strange, and extremely pleasurable.
āMhgā¦ā she groaned again, muffling herself as her hips ground down, rocking slow against the mattress, the cool slick from her shadow making the movements easy on the rough cloth.
The shadow tensed above her, tightening until its head and chest pulled free with a slight pop of pressure, its thrusts speeding up. Bi-Han felt warmth return to her shoulders as it did so, the boundary of their crossover growing taught as the shadow seemed to energize, its urge to separate tugging at the muscle of her torso and the gut of her spirit.
She whined, pushing her ass back to feel more of it, to feel it filling her even deeper. As if that was possible. It was inside her. It was her. And still, she craved more.
The shadow growled like a hiss through gritted teeth, wet, dark hands gripping her hips and pulling her back. Its knees were phased through her thighs now, braced on the bed to give better leverage as it started snapping forward, the mass of it inside setting Bi-Hanās nerves alight as an icy impression rammed into her stomach and the line of her spine. It was strange and euphoric, like being carded through internally by cold, firm fingers.
Bi-Han made a sound again, one she tried to swallow as her hips jerked against the bed, heat welling up under her skin despite her shadowās cooling efforts. She could hear it panting behind her, ragged and wheezing like someoneās dying breaths. The bed was only getting wetter beneath them, the void shedding off in ripples of spectral mass.
Bi-Han urged it on, grabbing the feeling of it in the pit of her stomachāthat shape of its life that bubbled inside herāand making it swell.
Her shadow screeched, like a distant scream in the wind, and thenā
And then the room went silent.
Sound gone. Sound taken. A ringing pop of nothing as its movements sped up, the world narrowing down to the fingers on her hips, and the outline of someone railing her from above, and her shaft sliding against the sheets again and again and again. Her mouth parted in pleasure, her tip stinging from stimulation.
And then she felt it: a ripple of hands curling in from the wetness and fear and clinging anticipation pooling around them; a mass of stroking fingers and palms and offerings wrapping around her cock. Bi-Han keened, silent and breathless as her shadow thrust hard and down into the heat of her skin, and thenā
In one breathless moment, they both spilled forth in a wave of sound.
#I have so many thoughts ab her actually#and the way a trans reading makes noob saibot both such an interesting repression and dysphoria metaphor#AND an interesting āmore authentic and loving self on the inside/self loveā parallel#just auGGHHh#also creepy wet clone sex#yay#mortal kombat smut#bi han mk#bi han sub zero#mk1#cause that is the version of her Iām thinking of#cot n balls#nsft#mortal kombat#cot n balls writing
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I am going to continue to complain about the lack of Janine and Abe content indefinitely perhaps. I encourage people to send me their headcanons about them no matter how ridiculous. My asks are always open.
#i think this may because i had a dream about them last night (i posted about that earlier)#like yk when you dream about something and its just in the back of your mind all day?#and i read the first few chapters of last sacrifice tonight where abe is blowing shit up for rose like...#i just love thinking about janine and her relationship with abe because of all the hints that are dropped throughout the series#i have so many thoughts about it but i havent pieced them all together yet#abe mazur#janine hathaway#hathazur
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illyana rasputin but before she got trapped in limbo she was a boy. she was magic hell transitioned while she was there. comes back and not only has everyone missed years of her life shes also a whole different gender now. do u see my vision
#sorry that reblog gets to be its own post i decided#been thinking ab this for hours. im reading through claremont xmen rn and im right at the bit where all her stuff is starting to happen#so obviously i am becoming even more obsessed w her#i have so many Thoughts ab transfem illyana and how that would effect and/or play into the themes that are going on#with her experience and trauma in limbo and her development later on and also her dynamics with other characters#i may just have to write fanfiction ab it. or smth#illyana rasputin#xmen
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ok with the way jess is introduced she is this absolute badass of a woman (which remains true) who rides in on a motorcycle to help miguel, who is a Man(TM) who doesn't want to admit he needs help sometimes
which is the PERFECT setup for a motherly figure (dunno if u have seen birds of prey but the way that dinah is in the show towards cassandra) and it is revealed that she is pregnant (heavily) and so she IS a mother !!! so u are like "yes a found family movie with a mother figure (cos found families with parental figures usually have father figures - think aizawa from MHA, or all might to deku in MHA) and so youre excite bc its subverting expectations a bit by giving this group of misfits a mother figure, right??
and then she stands up for gwen - she advocates for gwen to miguel - "we can't just leave her here. she's doing this all on her own". she acknowledges that gwen is just a *child*. an older child, but a child nonetheless , and that no child should have to go through what gwen is going through, and that they are literally the people best equipped to help gwen navigate this world of being spiderman, and they can give her a community !
and so shes filling that mother figure role !! and you get even more into it becaue yes !! a mother figure !
but then the conflicts start to go down. gwen visits miles' universe partially to track spot and partially to visit miles. and jess calls her and is openly disappointed with her for visiting miles - despite miles being a little younger than gwen, despite miles being a *child* aswell, despite miles trying to navigate being spiderman and a high schooler and becoming his own person - what they all went through ! - despite miles going through what they all have, and what she said gwen should not have to face alone, she gets mad at gwen for visiting miles, for interacting with him and not focusing on the mission at hand
the mission to locate spot - an anomoly - and bring him in, and try to get rid of him/take care of him.
and so you're like "oh ok so shes a flawed mother figure ! but she iss till trying to help mentor gwen, and help gwen navigate this !"
but then when they go to clean up the mess in Pavitr's universe, shes even *more* rude to gwen. miles followed her ! how could gwen be so dumb ! and gwen "*let him*" disrupt the canon !!
she's blaming gwen for being a child now . for being a child who was/is lonely, adn who missed her firends, and who wanted to go visit her friends. except miles is the *only* one that she has a problem with gwen visiting - its mentioned several timest hat gwen goes to hobie's universe (so often that they know each other quite well ! and have , according to hobie, gone on "at least a couple dozen" missions together! ) and she has visited pavitr's universe enough that he recognises her, is happy to see her, and is comfortable enough with her to joke about miles being in love with her/her being in love with miles, which means that they are close enough that he knows how , at least on some level, how important miles is to gwen!
and then when gwen goes to stand up to miguel for miles, when gwen goes to bat for him, jess says "gwen, don't." its not a "hey this is a bad idea", its a "gwen. do not. do not stir the pot. let him have his way. do not try to fight this battle." its her declaring herself as on miguel's side, her telling gwen that miles *needs* to let his dad die, that this is not a battle gwen should be aligning herself with - that gwen is too young, too small, to be making the right decisions, and she needs to trust miguel.
it's jess declaring that she is no longer going to help/support gwen, should gwen stand up for miles against miguel.
and finally, when gwen makes one final last ditch effort to get anybody on her side, when she specifically asks *jess*, the presumed mother figure, the *literal mother*, to tell miguel he is wrong, to stand up to miguel - adult to adult, rather than child vs adult - jess tells gwen that miguel is right.
and this is all because she has allowed miles to be dehumanised to her. miles isn't a child to her - miles is an anomoly. miles shouldn't exist , and gwen should not be close to anomolies. miles *shouldn't be* spiderman. and gwen should, which means that gwen needs to get over her feelings towards miles. gwen needs to forget the guy that was there for her when she was at her lowest, loneliest point, if she want s to keep the community that was supposed to support her.
there is absolutely a metaphor there that i can't quite pick out yet, but i will, because i think about this so often.
and so you see jess initially as this found family mothering figure, and then you see her as a literal mother - and how could a literal mother not see the absolute tragedy befacing gwen and miles ! two best friends, who met at their lowest and helped each other through their darkest times, finally, *finally* able to reconnect. and now miles has found out that his dad is going to die and he is just *supposed to let that happen*? and miles doesnt want his dad to die ! but jess sees him as wrong for that.
and so jess goes from found family mother figure, to literal mother (and how could any mother not be sympathetic to the literal children before her, facing the impossible but wanting to do it together, as they already have and are bound to do again!), to a mother who is flawed, and may not always be on the right side of things but is trying her best, to "shes not a mother figure at all, not to gwen and miles. shes a mother, but she is not a Mom. not a Found Family Mom, maybe not a Mom at all (we haven't met her child yet, so we don't know). but she is not the ally we expected her to be. she cannot be trusted.
and it just COMPLETELY subverts your expectations of who she is/is going to be from the start of the movie to the end of it and i LOVE IT for that
#someone has 100000% already said this#but i have so many thoughts#tysm to my friend for letting me rant this at them#so i made a post out of it lol#cos i wanna share w ppl who have other theories and takes ab her !!#will probably do the same w hobie as a punk (from someone who has been part of the subculture for literal years)#atsv#across the spiderverse spoilers#across the spiderverse#txt#txt post#my txt#textpost#text post#spiderman#spiderman atsv#rambling#feral roach thoughts#making that my new me-specific tag ig#spider man#jess atsv#spider woman#jessica drew atsv#jessica drew#spider woman atsv
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Lmaooo so pretty much since I started, my work friend who works in the freezer/cooler sections has been trying to get me to come help over there (I actually cannot as I am not SAFE certified. He knows this but still it's just a running joke) and the other week I was working Health and Beauty and he was like "hey hey hey uh uh! You're supposed to help ME!" To which I said that only one person can ask a day and Bootleg already asked that day. So a couple days ago he was leaving the breakroom as I was coming in to clock in, as was our mutual work buddy who also works that area. He goes "ah ah ah you gotta help work the cooler today. See I asked before anyone else could!" To which I said "ah man, I'm not clocked in yet, doesn't count!" And went in to clock in as they left
So yesterday our mutual work buddy was like "so I heard you're coming to the cooler š" (again joking) and I just said "nope he's a liar. He's telling you lies man. But I heard YOU'RE coming to clothing."
We just laughed and went on with what we had been doing.
But TODAY I guess when RC came in to lunch, he was telling Homicidal Forklift Driver that I should move to the cooler. Like trying to get someone else to back them up that I should switch bc they see what a good job I do in clothing so I would be able to make the shelves look nice there too
RC was like oh hell no, I need her in clothing man. She's like the one person there who works!
To which they both said, "yeah and imagine how nice the cooler would look!"
She told them that I actually had mentioned yesterday that it didn't really sound like a bad deal, but that I'd 100% be moved back to clothing within a month bc no one but me can handle the kids section š
Felt nice though having people "fight" over me/praise my work sgdgdggdg getting that recognition for how well I do my job
I really dont think I'd mind working in the cooler, or fresh, but I hate having to check for close expiration dates and the boxes are so so heavy š°
Plus I think the girl who recovers clothing second shift would kill me agsgdgdggd she'd like come in as a customer 8am on the dot and track me down to beg me to come back to clothing bc she can't handle the mess that is kids without me š
Anyways that made me laugh to hear
#marquilla#i mean š it's a viable way out if NewLady pisses me off bad enough and they dont move her first agdggdgdgdh#ive seen the SAFE certification test before and it's mostly common sense food handling imo it's just that the specifics are what get you is#what ive heard like theres basically no room for error (which is good bc safe food handling SHOULD be that high a priority) and you need to#know 100% what the correct temps for the safe zone are ect ect (i did at one point know them i just dont remember)#anyway anyways thats funny that he's got HFD on board and he doesnt even work in that area š he works recieving#which is another job ive thought ab tbh like if i ever get forklift certified i think i want to work back there bc they get to unload trucks#and sign for packages from what ive seen and they get to work the big door thats satisfying to open shdgdggd i got to do that once bc i was#over there and whoever is closest no matter your actual job is supposed to let them in and let a receiving person know and damn is that#door fun to watch open and close š i ALMOST got to close it yesterday but they didnt leave before i was done :( shdhdhhdhd#i think unloading the trucks would be fun bc you drive the pallets around the store or just dump em in the dock if it's past 8am but then#you have to clear the dock if someone else filled it overnight š but hey that might still be fun idk#and as far as I know the 4am recieving crew all like me a lot abdbbdbdgd so other than working with HFD it wouldn't be so bad#i think we should be allowed to shadow other areas like not specifically cross training but like i think working liquidations/claims would#be fun but it might not be idk only problem with that and recieving is that it's very loud in the back and idk if id be allowed those yellow#headphones or earplugs to dampen the sound or not#i think any of those jobs would be fun. id really like to work bakery but im allergic to too many common ingredients that id be#afraid that i might not be a great fit like yes gloves exist but still idk if thats a safe/good idea job wise...#ANYWAYS dhddhhdhd
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sophia coming home and pretending that Nothing happened. going about her life like everything is happy and okay and like she's not having a complete breakdown every single day starting from the moment she wakes up to the minute she goes to sleep. she withdraws from society almost as a whole but with the people she still talks to? she's the same old sophia and honestly? its terrifying to those she's closest to. they expected sadness, they expected depression and overwhelming emotion, but they're met with smiles and jokes and laughter and a lot of them - especially her parents - don't know how to react, so they don't. they also pretend like nothing happened, like their daughter is totally fine. and that just makes her recovery so much worse. so much harder. it takes so much longer than it should.
#i literally woke up less than an hour ago so if this is wonky its fine#im probably gonna delete it eventually but#i have many thoughts about her#also completely unrelated. cant stop thinkin ab the image of soph and casey. h*gh as hell.#no pants on surrounded by a bunch of /shit/ and food and whatever. on the floor in sophias room. givin each other stick n pokes#before things got bad<3 when she was her happiest<3#every few weeks i think ab her and . get emotional#i get to write her more when
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#āÆ ź°į starry thoughts ą»ź± *Ā·Ė#āÆ ź°į ffxiv ą»ź± *Ā·Ė#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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#band teacher asks my class abt our musical backgrounds > i'm the only one there who Doesn't Have One > he's confused why i signed up for the#class > i have to awkwardly explain that i want to be a vocaloid composer and they no longer offer music theory > tell my dad abt how i had#to awkwardly describe what vocaloid is to my teacher > realize my dad has a v flawed idea abt what vocaloid is despite the many. many years#i've been enamored w it > try making him listen to vocaloid songs to fix his perception > have vocaloid songs in my youtube recs afterwards#> tailor shop of enbizaka shows up in said recs > make a bitchy tumblr post abt disliking the evillious novels on principle > feel bad for#not knowing evillious well enough to properly hate on it > evillious autism hits > go on evillious tiktok bc i'm curious > someone is#showing off the riliane dollfie dream > god i wish that were me dot jpeg > another person is cosplaying riliane > god i wish that were me#dot jpeg the sequel > think abt how badly i want that riliane dollfie + want to cosplay her constantly > there are only so many thoughts ab#riliane dollfie + cosplay one can have before they start branching out to other characters > 'the miku dollfie would make a killer prop for#a gallerian cosplay' > 'oh my god i have to get the miku dollfie and cosplay gallerian' > look into the different available dollfies >#check how much they cost secondhand > start trying to figure out how many dollfies i can budget for in a year > it's been hours#> i NEED a dollfie so much it's unreal > not even specifically the miku dollfie bc she's insanely expensive 2nd hand and i want to wait for#the inevitable rerelease > type moon & haruhi suzumiya dollfies tend to go for ~500usd > i NEED a dollfie so bad it's unreal#a few months and one of them will be mine. 'which one?' the one that i can get the best deal on when the time comes#romeo.txt
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guys I have such a crush on predstrogen that I followed her to twitter i have got it bad
#obviously i am also super upset about what happened to her and to so many other trans women just dont have anything to add ab it#but like i thought nothing could drag me there but for a master poster with a cute tummy... yeah ok#predstrogen#me
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thinking rn about how agnes fully had a dad. like who was he. iirc literally the only things we know ab him is that he had a child with eileen montague and that he had been 'dealt with' by the time eileen was five months pregnant
he seems like he wasn't a part of the cult. so who was he? was he her husband? boyfriend? some random guy? did he know beforehand that eileen was a part of the cult or did he not know what he was getting into?
either way this presumably regular ass man managed to get someone who burns to the touch pregnant which i mean. respect
#he touched her and found out it burned and then he continued. truly a hero of our time#he came out of this with third degree burns all over his body and a dick like a burnt french fry. but he chose this and i respect that#ig theres an interpretation where eileen just didn't burn but cmon. aside from having every reason to think she did. its funnier like this#anyway im having so many Agnes Thoughts today. ive not had any new coherent thoughts ab her in a while#im usually just rotating her in my mind and repeating stuff ive already thought ab. but we're having New Original Thoughts today its fun#might make a post ab arthur nolan later we'll see we'll see#agnes montague#agnesblogging#tma
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4 the character bingo: Mobius ?
YIPPEE I LOVE MOBIUS SO MUCH [breaks down in tears]
OUGH SHES VERY SPECIAL TO ME. you meet her first thinking oh evil scientist!! i like evil scientists but then you realise Oh shes a deeply sad and lonely person. klein is the only person who ever truly knew her, to the point that when she died, mobius brought her back despite being killed by her hands. how fucked is that. ON A LIGHTER NOTE i love her so very much i think shes be a secret abba enjoyer. MIHOYO GIVE US MORE ADULT MOBIUS CONTENT PLEASE IM STARVING
#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AB HER BUT THE MOMENT I WANNA ACTUALLY SAY ANY OF THEM I JUST. CANT. WAR AND HATE ON PLANET EARTH#asks#kachowbunga
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didn't realise that the summer I turned pretty season 2 was still going lmaoo. I finished episode 6 and was like well damn I guess this is it. here we go again ig
#the problem with this series is that it is too set in todays time#but the books are so so 2010 coded and it kind of ruins the whole vibe#even the little choices of adding in modern music.. idk man. like my Jeremiah has never heard of Ariana grande and I know this in my heart#its so. Netflix originalified#and I know we will look back in 10 years to cringe at this bc even now I am cringing at it#and then the casting. that's a whole separate issue#she really said Conrad was 'dark dark dark' and they made him barely a brunette (can you use brunette for men? many have been wondering)#and Jeremiah isn't even properly blond like can we commit to the bit please. be serious about this im not even playing#bc they could have dyed their hair its not even that deep#I like belly at least like I look at her and I think yeah that could be belly#and Taylor as well actually. not in season 1 but her season 2 hair I believe it can be her#the only good thing they changed is making Jeremiah bisexual#and also I think the characters aren't obsessed with each other how I thought they should be after reading the books#the stakes are simply not that high when in the books it was like life or death for belly to get Conrad to notice her#ALSO not enough flashback scenes to their childhood#I don't even care ab this like that but it's just the principle of the thing! like it could have been great and they fumbled it completely#I need to have some kind of input in these things they should hire me as a creative director š¤#also I came here to say that Jeremiah is wearing an outfit I have worn many times before but I got sidetracked
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I'm home. Time to update all my mobageš¤
#tomorrow i hit the enstars grind i think i'm gonna start the twst grind today#bc i'm gonna play some viddy game#nd it's easier to leave twst idle than enst#i'll probs play sen.juushi on my drive home#we'll see for everything else#i have plany of time. i called my parents shaky like ''ects...'' and my mom laughed at me bc i thought the points were expensiveš#my dad told me not to worry because my mom ''failed so many exams he felt embarrassed to be with her''#(important context: my dad never even enrolled college)#i'm glad they seem to be far more chill ab this than me#and i got praisedš not just for the exams but also bc of the whole year and the way i got adjusted so quickly#(they don't know ab my breakdowns)
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This'll have to be a post for another day but I think it's very ironic that the people Gael kept himself chained away for as the angel in the attic for so long were the ones to unknowingly ensure he'd never be able to fly with the wings he has. They were so quick to see those wings as irrefutable proof he was cut from divine cloth but destroyed them all the same. He will never be able to fly his wings are permanently mangled, uneven lengths and weak bones, patches of ash where no feathers will grow. And does he hold it against them or himself or even the brother (Crane) who never came back? Couldn't tell you (I could I just won't). They're useless and awkward and not even all that pretty to look at but he can't bear to part with them either. He doesn't feel self-pity over being permanently grounded but he sure does feel deeply-rooted and a thousand-times-repressed spite.
#about : gael#* i had other stuff to post but it's 10:30 i have work 2morrow and pjsk is calling me#* i have so many gael thoughts tho#* i also need to make a post talking ab his really conflicted relationship with finally getting to-#* -physically transition and wanting to be someone's son but his mom never even saw him as 'hers'
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