#i have so many things ive learned and nowhere to really use them

[thornychairman]

//What can I say? I love making unhinged analysis about mundane things. Like sure we can talk about the bigger stuff and it's cool and all, but isn't it fascinating to examine other facets of a character that make them that way?

[focsle]

Medicine Aboard A Whaler

I answered an ask about this some years back that was...a few paragraphs long and was before I learned that some people have the stamina and desire to read 3k+ word whaling essays from me. So if ye count yourself among them, here you go!

---

On August 21st, 1870 aboard the whaleship Sunbeam, two-time whaler Silliman Ives found himself ill with a condition “very akin to mumps, with the exception of the swelling”. It prevented him from opening his mouth, and he dreamed of the days when such an action was possible.

“I never really appreciated the luxury of a good gape before. When a fellow cannot open his mouth to any greater extent than the width of a lead pencil, gaping is not a success to say the least. And then anything in the way of a sneeze is entirely out of the question, unless you are prepared to part company with the top of your head at very short notice. A ship is a hard place to be unwell in. So long as one is in good health you can get along nicely. But if you are sick the only place where you can find sympathy is in the dictionary. And then too the remedies at hand are limited in number and obsolete in use. Your medicine chest is filled with medicines in use a hundred years ago, but which modern pharmacy has dispensed with to a very great extent. Calomel and castor oil and such like delectable doses. There is no question about it. A whale ship ought to have a surgeon, and the law should oblige such vessels to carry them. When I get into Congress I shall introduce a “Bill” to that effect.”

As Mr. Ives noted, American whaleships went without doctors aboard even when the work was rife with injury and illness, and often quite far from access to any kind of care ashore. On British whalers it was required by law for a surgeon to be signed on for the voyage—Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was one on a voyage bound for the Arctic and apparently fell in the water so many times that the crew called him the 'Great Northern Diver'. However on American whalers—which dominated the industry—a doctor was seen by the agents as an unnecessary expense. There was the captain, the carpenter, and folks who could mend sails. Together, that makes one whole doctor! Right?

Read on, to see how they fared.

1845 whaleship medicine chest from the collection of the New Bedford Whaling Museum.

Joan Druett, in her book Rough Medicine highlighted some really fascinating things that came as a result of this, ranging from men who had scars that healed in a herringbone pattern because they were mended like canvas, to this wild tale about an amputation performed between a captain and mate at gunpoint:

“Another stirring tale told is of a Captain Coffin, who was hurt so badly in a whaling accident that it was obvious his leg would have to go. Being the master, the medic, and the patient all at once, he knew the situation was complicated, but he was more than equal to the task. He sent for his pistol and a knife, saying to his mate, “Now, sir, you gotta lop off this here leg, and if you flinch—well, sir, you get shot in the head.” Then he sat as steady as a rock while the mate went at it with the knife, holding the pistol unwaveringly until the operation was completed. No sooner was the stump wrapped up and the leg cast overboard than both men fainted.”

It was the captain's responsibility to provide medical treatment. Often without training himself, he was simply given a medicine chest full of numbered tinctures for various treatments. Those tinctures were a mix of chemical and herbal compounds, some which are still used holistically today and some that you.....absolutely want nowhere near your body. Epsom salts as a laxative, laudanum for painkiller, St John's wort for bruises and burns, mercury for syphilis, rosemary as an antiseptic, lead acetate as an anti-inflammatory, arrowroot for dysentery, henbane for insomnia, and on it goes from the innocuous to the dangerous.

John B King was a rare doctor aboard a whaleship, sailing on the Aurora out of Nantucket in 1837. He wasn’t hired as a doctor though; for reasons unknown he initially obscured his identity and joined simply as a foremasthand until his skills were revealed and he became the ship’s doctor. On that voyage he kept a book of the medicines he used.

John King’s medicine list, from the collections of the Nantucket Historical Association.

In addition to dosing medicine, the captain would also be responsible for setting broken bones, stitching wounds, and amputations. Benjamin Boodry, who had been whaling since the age of 13 and by 1856 was captain of the Fanny described instances in which he had to tend to his crew.

“At 2 o clock a cask of watter rooled away in the Bluber room and one John Haggerty tryed to stop it and got his leg broke just above the Nee there was another chance to show my surgical skill set it splinted it and bandaged it.” “McKee fel from the Main Topsail yard on deck bled him in both arms he came to some broke his arm and leg and badly bruised”.

Fortunately for McKee, his accident happened off the coast of Faial. The captain sent for a doctor ashore to examine him. He was advised to leave McKee in the Azores where he could receive more proper rest and treatment. But if land was a long way off, people had to make do the best they could.

Some captains had a better bedside manner than others. Where Silliman Ives felt terribly neglected in his illness, William Abbe of the Atkins Adams, 1859, had quite a different experience. He turned to the captain for help with a painful swelling on his hand that eventually grew so bad he was unable to use it.

“The captain was extremely tender in his treatment of my hand, pouring on laudanum to relieve the pain, lancing with caution and as tenderly as could he and using every means in his power to make me comfortable—washing my hand thrice a day with warm water and cutting away dead skin, pressing out matter in a manner that gained my affection + respect. Mrs. Wilson sent me preserved meats, pickled oysters, cake, buttered bread and seconded her husband in all his care. I felt a great deal of respect for both these kind people + shall repay it when I can […] The Cap treated us all with a care + skill that surprised me — I supposed that we should be left to take care of ourselves—the case in many ships, but we were not only cared for but allowed to stay below until we thought fit to return to duty.”

Mrs. Wilson--the captain’s wife--stepping up to help was not so unusual. Often whaling wives also found themselves taking on the role of doctor. All throughout July 1846, Mary Brewster was busy tending to the ailments of the crew aboard the Tiger.

“The last part of the day I have spent in making doses for the sick, in dressing some hands and feet, 5 sick and I am sent to for all the medicin. I am willing to do what can be done for any one particularly if sick for in whaling season a whaleship is a hard place for comfort for well ones and much more sick men.”

She reported that all her patients recovered, with the exception of a young man with a liver complaint beyond her immediate treatment.

Other times, other members of the crew served as de facto doctors as well. One such man was veteran whaler John Martin aboard the Lucy Ann 1842. In addition to being a skilled watercolorist, he also had a knack for bloodletting and tooth pulling. Often he made note of his ministrations in his journal:

“Blistered Frank on the side for his pleurisy & the steward on the neck for the sore throat” “Cupped the steward on the back of his neck with wine glasses and lanced with razor for want of proper instruments, which gave him almost instant relief” “Pulled a large jaw tooth for one of the crew. I lanced the gum with a penknife & set him spouting thick blood, & at the second wrench of the iron turned it up.” [Very cheeky language he’s using here, the same sort of talk one uses when hunting whales] “The loose whale struck Mr. Dean on the lower jaw & broke it, & knocked out 2 of his lower teeth, & he was taken on board [...] Sat up with Mr. Dean last night [...] Bled Mr. Dean [...] Drew 3 teeth from Mr. Deans broken jaw.” “Bled Antone. Since the death of Manuel, Antone has been on the sick list with swelled testicles and pain in his back. Poor fellow, he is very much frightened & thinks he is going to follow Manuel. He occupies the same bunk. When I bled him, he was so frightened that the perspiration stood on him in large drops, & groaned like a person dying.” “Blistered and glystered [clystered, i.e. gave an enema] Antone.”

One of John Martin’s watercolors from his journal. NBWM.

Blistering, bleeding, and emetics were among the most common treatments for all that ailed a man aboard. John King included his recipe for creating a blistering plaster and its uses:

“Blisters are serviceable in affections of the chest attended with much pain and difficulty of breathing. Bleeding or purging is proper previous to the application. Severe and long-continued headaches are relieved by a blister to the back of the neck. In all cases before applying a blister, the part should be washed with warm vinegar and wiped dry. The plaster should be spread as thick as a wafer on soft leather. When laid aside it soon becomes mouldy in the dampness of a ship, but if rubbed over with a knife the same one will draw two or three times. When very old it loses its strength. From eight to twelve hours is the time usually required for drawing a blister. Then remove it and dress with basilicon or simple ointment”

—

Other ailments were met with more specific treatments. It was not uncommon to see logbooks noting several men laid low on account of ‘the venereal’. William Chappell, a cooper and boatsteerer aboard the Saratoga in the early 1850s commented on the frequency the mate found himself off duty following liberty ashore. 

“Our mate is off duty again with that disgracefull disease and as near as I can find out it threatens destruction to a small but very usefull member of the body  I am sorry for him but he is old enough to know better than to play with every body that looks pretty and bewitching”

“Flaxseed tea is very serviceable in clap”, wrote John King in his journal, as well as white vitriol “sometimes used as an injection in protracted cases of clap.” For syphilis, the common treatments were more severe. King writes,

“No 25. Mercurial Ointment This is frequently used in venereal cases for bringing the system under the influence of mercury. The bulk of a small nutmeg is rubbed on the inside of the thighs morning and evening until the gums are slightly sore. It is a good application to chancres when mixed with twice the quantity of lard, and renewed twice a day.”

Mercury compounds could also be injected into the urethra. There were doctors who spoke out about the use of mercury in treating syphilis contemporary to when use was at its height. One 1853 advertisement in the New Bedford newspaper the Whaleman’s Shipping List reads,

“Important to the Afflicted CONFIDENTIAL TREATMENT in Medicine and Surgery may be had of Dr. TOMPKINS at his office in rear of the Apothecary’s Shop, No 58 Middle, corner of North Second St  Dr. TOMPKINS gives particular attention to the treatment and cure of private diseases. All those who have been taking medicines of their own prescribing, or from certain inexperienced or self-styled physicians, for a long time without benefit, are respectfully invited to call on Dr Tompkins, who is a regularly educated Physician of twenty years experience, and is competent to treat diseases of all kinds, and in every stage and form. Dr. T. warns the public against the abuse of mercurials; he is convinced by long experience, that most of the chronic affections, generally supposed to be the relics of diseases, are merely the effects of a long continued course of mercury. Recent affections cured in a very short time, without a grain of mercury”

Even with such objections, mercury compounds still were the standard and did more to sicken their patients than cure them. While whalers were often listed as being off duty due to venereal disease, there was less comment about whether or not they were given anything to attempt to alleviate it compared to other conditions.

“Our mate limping about again—had another furious attact of the venereal He is a used up man I fear,” Mr. Chappell wrote. Ultimately the mate was in a poor enough condition that he left the voyage at the next provision stop they made.

—

Scurvy was another common affliction. Given that whaleships spent extended time at sea and were loathe to waste too much time with anchoring somewhere, fresh food ran low quite often. When whaling in the Atlantic and South Pacific whalers usually fared okay, as there were a fair number of provision stops in locations that had fresh fruits and vegetables readily available for trade. It was on said provision stops that whalers could also, as said by Samuel Wood of the Bowditch, 1849, take a walk to 'knock the scurvey from their bones’. In seasons that took place up north however, in the North Pacific, Sea of Okhotsk (Kamchatka Sea), Bering Strait, and eventually up into the Arctic, scurvy was extremely prevalent. The fresh food depleted, the ice was always a threat, and unlike other regions there weren't many accessible places to resupply with large amounts of foods that could ward off scurvy. It's in reading journals during these periods that I find the most complaints of scurvy. And sometimes, the more successful the voyage was, the sicker the men would get because they'd spend more time up there rather than giving up and returning south. The US Consul in Hawaii complained of this in the 1840s, saying:

"Whaleships were much more successful in taking oil on the North West during the last summer and fall than for three or four seasons previous and most of the vessels remained on the fishing grounds much longer than usual, the consequence of which was that many of the crews were severely afflicted with scurvy, some died after reaching port and before they could be landed, while others were carried to the hospital on litters, being too feeble to walk."

There were endless attempts to ward it off. John Martin wrote of men "In the evening, dancing cotillions and jumping the rope to keep off the scurvey". It didn't seem to do much. Within two weeks:

"One man on the sick list, supposed to be caused by his being so long at sea. All hands are complaining of soreness throughout their bodies. If we do not get on shore soon, we may expect to have half the crew down with the scurvey at least. We have no vegetables on board, and are going into King Georges Sound, New Holland [southwest tip of Australia], a place where we can scarcely get anything to recruit with."

His captain allowed the crew unlimited vinegar and free access to the potato pen. The vinegar, a mistaken remedy due to its acidity, wouldn't have helped much. Potatoes are an excellent source of vitamin C, more so when they're raw, but they were rather intolerable to eat in such a way.

William Chappell spoke of a similar struggle with potatoes, and the grim humor the lads maintained to choke them down:

“Three of our men are off duty with the scurvy which makes its appearance in the knees and feet All hands are called aft every morning to get 2 or 3 potatoes apies which they are required to eat raw in the preasance of the officers for fear they may throw them overboard as many require presing invitation to partake of the dainties They have however a considerable sport over them Call them Kodiak Peaches”\

Aside from the crunch of Kodiak Peaches, Dr. King had his own remedy for scurvy as well:

“13. Salts of Lemon This is good in scurvy when fresh fruit and vegetables can not be obtained. A teaspoonful dissolved in half a pint of water will form an acid nearly the strength of lime juice. It may be mixed with water and taken freely, sweetened or not. [it makes a good substitute for lemonade, in fever, to allay thirst in fever] Water made slightly acidic with it is a good substitute for lemonade to allay thirst in fever."

The Sailor’s Hospital in Lahaina, Maui, constructed in the early 1830s.

For all the varying attempts to hold off sickness, it took root among crews nearly every voyage. J.E. Haviland of the Baltic, in the early 1850s spent the last few dozen pages of his journal in a state of declining health and low spirits.

“My side and breast pain me nearly all times I have not been on deck since I came below. The Captain and Mr Stivers are both very kind and come down to see me as often as once a day and sometimes two or 3 times. I am taking medicine but it does not seem to do much good but I think I am better than I was at first. Dear mother how I do wish I could see you once more. I get so homesick and I know I am peevish and cross. Some days I cannot get out of my bunk at all. I blame the captain (wrongfully I know) thinking he does not give me the right medicine but it is a very bad place to be sick at sea.”

He suspected it was due to the harsh conditions of whaling up North, but also held a fear within him that it might be something more serious that couldn’t be remedied simply by warmer climes.

“Dear mother, I shall be obliged to leave the ship when we arive at the Sanwich Islands for I do not think I could live doing another season in the cold Norwest. My cough seems to increase and the pain in my side gets no better I am getting weaker each day and am getting very thin in flesh. I have said nothing as yet to the old man about my leaving at the island as I do not know as he will be willing that I should; but I intend going to a doctor and in all probability will tell the old man I am not fit to go North in the ship […] I would like very much to be in the states now for I am afraid this will turn out to be the Consumption that I have. I think if I could have good medical advice I might get rid of it before it got seated upon my lungs. I am afraid it will be a long before I shall see my native land again.”

Ultimately Haviland is discharged from the ship because of his sickness and is left at the Sailor’s Hospital in Lahaina. His stay seems to do him well. His last entry reads:

“I have been here now going on two months and am entirely free from my cough and think I feel as well as ever again. It is intensely hot and I am heartily sick of the place and sincerely wish I could get away but I do not expect any chance before next fall.”

Unfortunately from here he completely drops off the record, so it’s unknown if he ever made it back home. Like so many of these men, he slips through the cracks of documented history. It’s only through their journals, preserved by chance, that their voices and challenges and feelings are known. Often a whaling voyage marked at least one death due to disease or injury. But many also recovered, sometimes rather miraculously given the circumstances and extent of their ailments. In the face of the conditions of a whaler and the limitations of care both in terms of resources and medical understandings at the time, I’m always surprised that there wasn’t more death. People did what they could, with the knowledge they had.

But as so many people expressed while laid up in their bunks: it’s a hard time to be sick at sea.

[wakaposting]

yrwk analysis post ive been thinking about a lot... under the cut for discussion of the 'adopted family' lens (more specifically why i think it's too simplified), includes spoilers up to the newest chapter atm (179)

latest chapter has really got me thinking!! man!! it solidified a lot of things i was already thinking about. this little bit totally threw me off guard; it felt like it came completely out of nowhere.

huh? what do you mean you respect him like a father?? this is sadamune we're talking about. i absolutely see the mentor thing; toki has learned a lot from him, they have a begrudging respect for each other. that's a given. but making the step to 'father-like figure' for a man who's tried time and time again to kill him, and pretty solidly has it out for him, makes like zero sense. and i think this is on purpose in a way tbh.

let's go back 130 chapters or so to when toki first mentions he sees shige like a father, and let's take him at face value. let's say he does feel this way. there are still so many little hints, at least to me, that this isn't really true, or it's not the whole story. this is less about saying 'they have romantic feelings for each other' and more about 'toki doesn't really know how to explain how he feels in any way other than this shorthand.'

he doesn't vocalize these thoughts at first; the first time he mentions this at all, it's just to himself in his thoughts. the second time, iirc, is when he talks to yoritsugu to pacify him. and he says something like 'although yorishige is like a father to me, we still aren't really family or blood related like you two are, so i can't take him away from you.' this isn't a disparaging comment in any way, really, and you could argue he's ONLY saying it to make yoritsugu feel better, but it still comes off slightly strange to me.

another small thing - probably not that related but still something i want to mention - is shizuku calling tokiyuki 'nii-sama'. it's arguable whether this is supposed to be familial or not (esp adding in shizuku's romantic feelings for him), but if you want to consider yorishige, shizuku, and tokiyuki as some sort of family unit, why doesn't he call her his sister in any way? why does he make no mention or reference to it at all? shizuku refers to both tokiyuki and yorishige with familial terms (big brother and father), but tokiyuki does not ever use these words in reference to shizuku, and only calls yorishige 'father' under extreme stress much later.

the next big time (iirc) the father thing is brought up is when yorishige asks him if he can cut his hair, which has already been established is an explicitly parental thing to do. yorishige is the one to offer, and it's clearly something he's been thinking about a lot. toki agrees, and he's very embarrassed by the suggestion - both of them are. it makes sense, as this is a very intimate step forward in whatever sort of relationship they have. but again, toki is not the one to take this step towards legitimatizing yorishige as his 'father' in any way. he accepts it, but does not say reach out with it himself.

skip ahead to the battle where toki and yorishige get in their huge argument. it's said in desperation, but tokiyuki uses their potential relationship as father and son to strike out in anger against yorishige. he tries to put his foot down and use his position of power against yorishige to get him to listen, even hatefully shouting "don't act like you're my father", which is really a heartbreaking moment as you see all their attempts at getting closer to one another 'broken' in one moment of anger.

tokiyuki says this in direct response to yorishige trying to use his position as a father to disregard tokiyuki's wishes. so of course toki tries to reject their father/son relationship to take the power away from yorishige here. "you aren't my father, you're my servant, so you must do what i say." it comes from a place of desperation and love, trying to do absolutely anything he can to keep yorishige alive and safe, even if he has to make yorishige hate him in this moment.

it doesn't work, and yorishige's clearly heartbroken as he turns his back on tokiyuki. once again, deeply emotional for both of them.

the resolution of this, their only true fight throughout the manga, can only be one thing - tokiyuki has to apologize for his hateful remarks. so, yes, he apologizes. he comes to yorishige and offers him the binding symbol they had already agreed upon - he lets yorishige cut his hair.

so then we do have, in the next chapter or two, a few scenes where tokiyuki explicitly uses the terms father and son.

but we have to remember that this was done in desperation. yes, they agreed to perform this coming of age ritual together - someday. someday is the key word here. they did not think this moment would come so soon. this was tokiyuki desperately trying to make amends with yorishige in the few moments they had left together before he died. i think it's fair to say that this is not how the event would have gone down had they had several more years together before the hair-cutting ritual they had only vaguely promised each other.

these emotions are real, and raw, but they are also painfully forced. they had to have this closure as soon as possible, lest they never get it. maybe if they had more time together, they really would have felt like a father and son; maybe they wouldn't have. but we don't know. this was the only plan they had in place to show how much they cared for each other, and it was this or nothing.

after yorishige is no longer a part of his life, we see tokiyuki grow closer with another older male figure, akiie. akiie is the antithesis of everything yorishige is - equally loud and annoying, but overtly critical of tokiyuki, and very aggressive. and yet, still, we see tokiyuki warm up to him, and grow closer to him.

and so what does he tell akiie, when they, too, have an intimate moment before a horrible tragedy? "i see you as a big brother." another familial reference to show how much akiie means to him. i honestly would argue that 'big brother akiie' feels much more realistic to me than 'father yorishige does'. but regardless, this is the second time that toki shows he uses terms of family in this manner, to the men in his life that have made a positive impact on him.

just these two examples weren't, necessarily, proof of anything. but then. but then this. sadamune? sadamune as a father figure? toki, you are deluding yourself here if you really think you believe that. three times is not a coincidence, it is a pattern - tokiyuki uses the idea and terminology of a family to describe the men that have changed his life. which isn't strange at all, really. and then you consider that these terms - father and big brother - are also the people he's lost in his life. of course he would want this! of course he would want, whether subconsciously or not, to forge these relationships again!!

i don't think this means any of this feelings aren't genuine. they clearly are - tokiyuki loves strongly, and loudly. he has the utmost respect for all of these men. but i also think that he defaults to referring to them as his family because it's easy, and it makes sense to him, and he wants that. i don't know that he would 100% articulate yorishige, akiie, or sadamune as family figures if he had more time to explain how he felt about them. but anyway that is my insane person ted talk. thank you for reading. (you didn't read this)

[posebean]

more rinkittys from the brilliant minds of bean and sana at ungodly hours

mostly kitty lore

more on rinkitty au

if formatted weirdly its because we literally played rinky tennis and popcorned everything in discord @sanaimissyou ily

NIKU KITTEN LORE

niku was at the cat cafe/adoption place because she was found with parents nowhere to be found hungry and small very very small (kinda like someone we know-) and so she knows what being alone is like and one day when she sees two people sit in and everyone else swarms one of the guys while the other is just. all alone and she doesn't like leaving people alone and for some reason she feels the need to go up to him so she breaks from the crowd and goes over on her little kitten paws and mewls , rubs her head against his knee "hi i'll be your friend" and when rinne sees her he cries

When Niki makes him leave her he tells her “I’ll come back for you” and she believes him and he visits her every now and then so she doesn’t forget him but she doesn’t really register what’s happening every time since she’s so small

Cat melodrama

It’s like 3 AM and there’s meowing in the living room and they think it’s just Niku with the zoomies but no she’s talking to a whole other cat

whole other cat is an alley cat that just passed by one day and saw her and Instantly fell in love and keeps trying to talk with her but Niku is having None of it

He keeps coming by and she eventually just warms up to him because he is. Kind of cute and very charming

the rizz is working

She saves some of her food for him sometimes ‘cause she learned to share food from her dad (Niki) 

niki: niku why arent you finishing your food 

niku: pacing around in front of the window, looking for other cat

Other cat comes by sometimes during the day when Rinne and Niki are out and other cat (she just calls him Nya-kun now ‘cause he doesn’t really have a name) offers to take her on a little city adventure since she doesn’t go out besides a small neighborhood area when Rinne and niki take her on walks

he takes her to his favorite spots and shows her so many things she has never seen and each place they stop at she falls a little more in love (nya-kun is already so in love he cant fall even more hes at full love)

He drops her off at home and she’s just so happy and purring and everything and good kitty things and Rinne and Niki have no idea why she’s like this but they can’t really complain

he comes by again and takes her out and it goes well at first but then they get into a fight with some other alley cats that does not go well; niku is okay and a little shaken but nya-kun is hurt and bleeding

She brings him back to the apartment and kinda tears some things and drawers apart looking for the first aid kit that she’s seen Rinne and Niki use and she’s trying her best to patch him up but Nya-kun’s sitting there thinking and kinda regretting everything ‘cause she got put in danger

nya~kun: i love her. I Love her. But I'm just an alley cat. she has a loving home, she doesn't belong out there. not on the streets. not with me. she's beautiful and everything ive ever dreamed of but i have to let her go. 

niku panicking while trying to patch him up : nya-kun please stay my dads will help i dont know what to do but theyll know ! where are you going? theyll help you, i know they will!

Nya-kun says this isn’t gonna work out for them because she’s just not a street cat, it’s not safe for her out there and she should stay here, where she has a loving home and people who love her, and he thanks her for spending time with him and putting up with him and he leaves And Rinne and Niki come home like “Niku what the fuck happened you’ve never done this” ‘cause everything’s still a mess and she’s just sitting there 

for the next few days she's so, so, sad at first she thinks he'll come by but he doesn't and doesn't the next day and doesn't the day after that or after that or after that but she still waits by the window with her food unfinished waiting for him and rinne and niki notice and are so worried because their baby is hurting and they have no idea why

In all her alone time she realizes that she had no say in his decision to leave her alone, and that it isn’t fair ‘cause he made the decision for her when she didn’t want it in the first place so she makes her own choice to go look for him A là “It’s my life I get to choose” Niki-style

so one day when she gets the confidence and niki and rinne are out at work she nudges the window open and jumps out and runs to every place she can remember him taking her , his fav spot by the pachinko, his fav place to take shelter in, etc, until she finds herself back in the same alley and face to face with the alley cats that had attacked them before. the alley cats recognize her and seeing that her companion isnt with her move to attack her for revenge because though he got hurt, he left a. number on them

Nya-kun jumps in at the last second and fights them off and he’s like “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here you don’t belong here!” (This is all in meows by the way) And Niku’s like “Even if I don’t belong here, you belong with me!” She can’t stand the thought of him fighting for his life while she’s just living comfy so she finally begs him to come home with her ‘cause

 “Dad and dad will love you!!” 

“How do you know that!?”

 “Because I love you!!”

he's so absolutely speechless and starts sobbing (in meowspeak) and is like i love you but im just a street cat, and niku is like if you love me you will come home with me please and nya-kun FINALLY finally breaks down and moves forward slightly closes his eyes touches his nose to her's and gives out a breathless "okay"(meow) and she takes him home and they slip in through the window and sit in the living room cuddled up together waiting for her dads to come home

Anyways yeah that’s how they got the second cat (Rinne and Niki have no idea any of this happened btw [time period unspecified]) and Nya-kun is now called Rinnya-kun but Niku still calls him Nya-kun

and theyre still in love

another thing about niku being so tiny when she was at the cafe is that she doesn’t remember the one other friend she had at the cat cafe that was a tiny orange cat who ran away

that tiny cat was her only friend but he hated being in the cafe and ran away and she barely remembers anything but only knows she felt comfortable in that short time and for some reason the tall red haired guy reminded her of that cat

when the entire B plot ends up being more emotionally charged than the main plot

This entire thing is literally just Rinnya meeting his in-laws

and falling in love with he kitty wife

All cat dialogue is just meows with subtitles

“How do you know that!?” “Because I love you!!” 

"Meow meow meow meow meoww?!" "Miaou miao mewl MIAOUW"

Imagine being someone walking by on the street like “what the hell is goin on over there”

Also Rinne and Niki have no idea ANY of this happened

MISC 

Rinnya has a scar from that first fight since he left and didn’t let it heal properly and whenever Niki’s petting him he’s like “man where’d you get this scar from buddy”

niku takes time to lick it gently everytime they r cuddling. to show that she is thankful 4 him everyday and loves him so much

Licks are the kitty equivalent of kisses (which Rinne is. Still constantly shaming him for) but nose touches are way more personal for them

man literally went thru hell for her he deserves to be a slut (saved her life)

Rinnya: What the hell is a marriage is why is there no kissing before it, what is a “wife” Niku: I dunno, but dad calls dad his wife so I guess that means someone you just really really love a lot 

Rinnya: I suppose you’re my wife then

niku: i guess i am~

niki: rinne-kun why are you slutshaming the cat again

rinne: u dont understand niki they are breaking the sanctity of marriage

niki: rinne-kun. they're cats. they dont understand the concept of marriage 

rinne: 

niki:. rinne-kun. they literally have CHILDREN 

rinne: 

niki: (sighs) will it make you happier if we throw them a mini ceremony? ill call kazehaya-kun 

rinne: NO they are not marrying before us 

Niki:

 niki: but then they'll be still doing that thing you dont like 

rinne: 

rinne: niki never said no to us eventually marrying :) 

niki: 

niki: why do i love a man so stupid

Niki: Hey did you give Niku too many treats again, he looks like he’s getting rounder Rinnya: ……does dad not know you’re a girl

Rinne: ……OH uhhhhh Niki I forgot to tell you something—

rinnya: oh god i knew he was stupid (rinne) i didnt think it could get worse

they meet 14/17 (cat years)

11 months and 1 year and 3 months respectively

all the big stuff happens (when rinnya finally comes to live with her) 18/21 (cat years)

1 year and 4 months and 1 year and 8 months respectively

5 human month slowburn / 4 cat years slowburn

It takes place from the tail end of spring throughout the summer

8/03 when he finally lives with them

Rinnya is petty enough to call Niki dad and Rinne just Rinne

When they get married it’s “dad and his husband”

CW ANIMAL DEATH

the first time rinnya calls rinne dad is the last meow he says, a small "thanks dad"

Niku’s last little meows

To niki: stay happy with Dad, Dad

To Rinne: It’ll be okay, Dad

To Rinnya: I love you.

sad kitties cuz i like being in pain i guess

[kyogre-blue]

Hey so, I wanted to let your know that I really love your Naruto: Dashing Rescue fic. It's one of my all times fave time travelling fic. I still have the tumblr tag followed lol it's a lil reminder to self to reread whenever I come across it in the 'followed tag' section

I don't ever if you ever confirmed that it's abandoned work or not, I was wondering if you had anything to share about naruto rescue? Maybe your thoughts while writing it or scraps. Maybe not, it's been years also

Anyways, the main purpose was that I wanted to let you know that I really love your writing and a lot of your old works (oh khr too! but esp Dashing Rescue). You were an author that made me smile whenever I see your name as a teen learning about fandoms and searching out fics. I really enjoyed reading a lot of your works!

(Dumb me refresh the page before sending so I had to retype that twice and ahh I realised this got long. My bad)

Wow, that's really nice to hear. I'm glad that you enjoyed those fics! Looking at the dates, it's been almost 10 years since I posted that particular one... hard to believe.

Time travel has always been one of my most favorite fic tropes, and Naruto was really great for those because we had so many time periods, each with their own cast. The possibilities were endless.

For Dashing Rescue, I can see I posted three parts. I dug up my old doc, but there isn't much in it past those. I think I considered part 3 a good stopping point, though it looks like I wrote about a page of part 4 and outlined a few general ideas after that. I'll add that under the cut, in case you're curious.

Aside from that, the only thing I recall is that was using the movies for material and visual inspiration, but that part was probably obvious.

Anyway, thank you again for this really sweet ask. I really appreciate it ^o^

Title: Dashing Rescue

Part IV: Sand and Black Iron

Summary: AU, time travel. Finding himself in the past, Naruto has so far managed to hold back the tide of the Third Shinobi World War. That proves increasingly difficult as the Sandaime Kazekage goes missing. 

~.~.~

“Thanks for agreeing to see us, Jiji,” Kushina said, bowing deeply in complete contradiction to her impolite way of addressing the Hokage — she had picked it up from Naruto. Next to her, Minato did the same. Both of them spared a glance at Sakumo, who was also waiting in the Hokage’s office and greeted them with a friendly nod. 

“This is about Naruto, isn’t it?” Sarutobi guessed, setting aside his brush to give them both his full attention.

It had been two years since Naruto became an official member of the Uzumaki clan, and thus Konoha. That time had been plenty for the Sandaime to start feeling like he was going grey under his hat. 

Especially after Naruto took off for Suna a few months ago and refused to come back, despite the many diplomatically worded but rather displeased messages Sarutobi received from Suna. He just hoped that whatever this was didn’t turn out to be an international incident. 

“Yeah,” Kushina said bluntly. “He, uh, sent me a message.” 

Or rather, he and Kushina had set about abusing the fact that they held two halves of a single bijuu, which could communicate with each other regardless of distance or circumstances. Kurama had been nothing resembling pleased at being used as an elaborate communication system, but agreed to relay urgent messages in exchange for Kushina changing the form of confinement she used on her half. She still had no idea how Naruto managed to sweet-talk the bijuu into it from his side. 

“The Kazekage’s disappeared,” Kushina relayed, “but Naruto thinks he has a lead, and he wants help tracking the person responsible.” He had been increasingly evasive about what exactly he knew or at least suspected, and why, but Kushina didn’t mention that. Naruto got like that sometimes. 

Still not used to these sorts of things, especially stated so baldly out of nowhere — the Kazekage, really? — Sakumo choked a little, but quickly swallowed his surprise. The Sandaime simply closed his eyes and sighed. International incident didn’t begin to cover it. 

“With the Kazekage has gone missing, it’s naturally a very urgent request,” Minato added. “I might be able to expedite the journey there, if I can be assigned to the team.” 

Kushina nodded sharply. “And I can file the mission request for him,” she offered. 

“There is no need for that,” Sarutobi said, forcing down the urge to massage the bridge of his nose. “I will offer our services to Suna as a peace gesture.” 

“Who will you send?” Sakumo asked, as he finally processed what he had heard. 

“Sakumo-sempai, perhaps you could…?” Minato suggested. After all, there was no doubt about who possessed the best tracking skills in the village.

Sakumo shook his head. “That would be a terrible idea. They hate me there,” he summed up. “I was on the Suna front during the Second War, and…” 

There was no need to continue. That was where Sakumo gained his fame — and notoriety, upon a path of corpses. He didn’t regret what he had done for Konoha’s sake, but war bred hatred in a vicious cycle. Back then, he had been the same, hating his enemies for what had been done to his comrades and paying back with the same in turn. 

“Sending me would be more like a declaration of war than a peace gesture,” Sakumo concluded.

“It would not send the correct message, and would be a complication in itself,” Sarutobi agreed. “Unfortunately, most of the others who would be my second choice are out of the village and won’t be able to return quickly enough. Do you have a recommendation, Sakumo?” 

Frowning, the man looked out the window across the village. There was more at stake than first appeared — a situation like this, involving a Kage, no less, could easily deteriorate quickly and violently. So far, they had just barely managed to avoid the outbreak of another war, but the balance was delicate at best. If Suna faltered, it wouldn’t take Iwa long to strike. And then...

On the other hand, this was Konoha’s chance to build a strong alliance with Suna. It would put the Suna council, and possibly even their Kage, in Konoha’s debt. They would be able to present a united front against Iwa, and further strengthen their position with Kumo as well. 

A chance to bury the ills of the previous war…

“Kakashi,” Sakumo said, startling the others. “I recommend Kakashi.” 

“Sakumo, are you sure?” Sarutobi asked, his brow furrowing as he sat forward and studied his old comrade. 

“I’m sure. Kakashi has been a chuunin for four years now. He lacks experience, but his skills are top notch. His nose rivals mine, he’s observant and analytical, and he can call on one of our summons to assist him,” Sakumo explained.

The pride was clear in his voice. Minato, as Kakashi’s jounin teacher, nodded in agreement, though he also still appeared surprised by the choice. 

“And… This is our chance to bury the grudges of the past. We have to take the first step. What better way to prove that we trust Suna and are serious about this alliance?” Sakumo smiled. “And I trust Minato and Naruto to keep him safe, should something go wrong.” 

“...I won’t let anything happen to him,” Minato promised, recovering first. 

Sarutobi took several moments longer to consider the suggestion. Finally, he nodded. “Very well,” he said. “Then I will dispatch Minato and Kakashi to Suna in all haste.” 

“What? I want to go too! We’ll be a four-man team then!” Kushina protested. 

While Sarutobi tried to think of some subtle way to tell her that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki wasn’t going to be allowed off into a foreign village, which could very well turn unstable at any moment, all without letting Sakumo know the situation, Minato quickly spoke up, “I don’t think I could take you that far,” he said apologetically. “Kakashi and myself will already be difficult…” 

Kushina eyed him dubiously. Even though she was one of the few who understood the theoretical underpinnings of Hiraishin, she didn’t have the experience to judge how much and how far Minato could teleport. 

Theoretically, Hiraishin’s chakra cost depended on the size and weight of what he was teleporting, though there were some specific caveats regarding distance and the placement of the seals — it all depended on how you went about it.

Kushina was right to distrust him. Minato might have still been able to manage another person, but at least this way there was a legitimate reason for her to stay in Konoha. 

But she didn’t call him out on it. “He better come home after this,” she said instead. “It’s been months.” 

Minato nodded sharply. “I’ll bring him back once we’re done.” Even if it meant a quick ambush. 

“I’ll let Naruto know you’re coming,” Kushina said, and both the young jounin took their leave. 

Left alone with Sakumo, Sarutobi shot the other man a considering look. “Are you sure about this?” he asked. “I have no doubt Minato and Naruto will protect him to the best of their ability,” and that ability was really quite impressive, “but you don’t have to risk Kakashi on this. We can send someone else.” 

aaaaaa

///////The Third World War was put off, but relations are rough, especially when the Kazekage suddenly goes missing. (Minato is eighteen, Kakashi is ten, and Naruto is twenty one.) 

Naruto knows that the true cause is Sasori. He talks to Chiyo and takes off, with Minato and Kakashi following. Chiyo suggested that Sasori would have gone to the old Rouran ruins.

Naruto asks Sakumo to make Konoha into a village that never abandons even one of its people.

—————

Timeline

Naruto arrives 21 yrs pre-series, 25 yrs pre-Shippuden, 10 yrs before he was born.

Part I, Kumo's kidnapping attempt Minato, Kushina — 13 Kakashi — 5 Naruto — 16

(Part II — 3 years in between)

Part III, Sakumo's mission Minato, Kushina — 16 Kakashi — 8 Naruto — 19

Part IV, Kazekage abducted Minato, Kushina — 18 Kakashi — 10 Naruto — 21 Sasori — 15

Kannabi Bridge, old timeline Minato, Kushina — 20 Kakashi — 12

Kyuubi attack, old timeline Minato, Kushina — 22 Kakashi — 14

—————

Title: Dashing Rescue

Part IV: Bare Your White Fangs

Summary: AU, time travel. 

The Third War almost breaks out when people with bloodlines start to go missing, 

Pakura from Suna, Gari from Iwa, Toroi from Kumo, and Mei from Kiri.

Obito gets kidnapped by Hiruko, Orochimaru's childhood friend and assistant. 

Orochimaru is disgraced for his support and participation in the research.

—————

Title: Dashing Rescue

Part V: Rose-tinted Dawn

Summary: AU, time travel. 

Jiraiya gets word of his old students being in trouble and asks Naruto to look into it. It's Madara confrontation time. 

Minato and Kushina get trapped in a genjutsu world where Naruto is their son, and blond. It's really weird for them.

—————

Because the third war never happens, Minato is not nearly as famous. Orochimaru is not a Yondaime candidate either. Instead, Sakumo takes it.

—————

[mueritos]

Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.

Idk anymore

I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.

Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.

and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.

again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.

but also like kill ur idols lol

[tamelee]

Do u know what naruto and sasuke still do when it comes to their powers? Ive seen a video but im still confused. They have all elements and yinyang but they also lost that power i think sorry if its a long question but im just confused

Oh!! You should really ask someone else! Tbh I'm just as confused as you Nonee, (if not, a lot more) maybe someone has some sort of meta? Feel free to share- (I too would love to read it because I struggle with this the most in my story xD) Every time I try to figure out what exactly determines the categorization I get a headache-- it’s so confusing aaaaarrghh*incoherent noises* 

It’s not really what Hagoromo gave, but how it manifested within them that caused the ‘power-up’-specifics and what it was meant to do. The yin/yang sun/moon marks faded after they sealed miss alien and appeared again on Hagoromo. Therefore, they lose that... and then the difference is seen during VotE2.... sorta. But what it is exactly and what it means... beats me.... Hmm’ badly. It is confusing because Naruto still has a piece of all the TB’s within him so where exactly is the border anyway? And yeah, there's the elemental aspect of it too... In ‘the Last’ they retconned canon to oblivion for miss princess’ sake, Naruto can still fly and in Boruto Manga, Naruto uses power that was only possible because of Hagoromo to fight the aliens... at least according to fans, but idk. So...

Most discussions I've read quote the Naru-wiki, which partially relies on the databooks and filler material. A lot of info on power had to be filled in afterward to complete character sheets since most of the exposition is weaved through the story in snippets and often leaves a lot of room for inconsistency and interpretation. With that comes a lot of guesswork. Articles and books mention many things that were never even in the manga, and they add element natures to characters just because some novel said so (like Sakura using fire...). And if anyone can learn the basics from any element (like all Shinobi learning/using a simple earth-based Jutsu out of nowhere) then what does it even mean and why does your affinity matter then? Some commentary, both in the databooks and anime, is subjective and not particularly well-thought-out either.

There's also the anime where fillers make statements about kekei-genkai, Jutsu affinities, and elemental natures that often contradict each other, not to mention variables that aren't adequately covered. On top of all that, SJ actually made some articles about the yin/yang Six Paths' power, yet none of that info was ever stated in the story.

On one hand this makes sense... I’m glad we aren't infodumped during the story because that gets boring quickly and imo it takes away some of the fantasy aspects. We don’t need to know exactly how everything works in fiction, but on the other hand... this makes me wanna rip my hair out!

[melodymay-k1tty]

This is a blog that will have +18 content, and will soon be suitable for people of legal age.

I don't know if people often write about themselves on Tumblr, because I'm new here btw, but I will♡

I have nothing to post, so I'll tell a little about myself.

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My name is Maya and I'm almost 18 years old. Of course, I'm still 17, but I'll be 18 in less than 3 months, so don't worry about that.

I like a lot of things! In fact, I love watching anime and doramas, as well as following K-Pop groups♡. I'm a fan of 90+ K-Pop groups, so you can imagine.

K-POP GROUPS

I'll highlight some K-Pop groups that I like!

These are BlackPink, BTS, Twice, Girls' Generation, EXO, 2NE1, f(x), Super Junior, 2PM, BigBang, Red Velvet, Mamamoo, GFriend, Momoland, Got7, Stray Kids, Itzy, SHINee, (G)I-dle, After School, Apink, Lovelyz, Miss A, 4Minute, NewJeans, TXT, Wonder Girls, TVXQ!, Everglow, SS501, Fin.K.L, Baby V.O.X./Baby Vox Re.V, Shinhwa, Kara, T-ara, IVE, S.E.S., and 1TYM (i know the latter is a korean hip-hop group).

Note: I also like some solo singers like BoA, Henry, and Park Bom (ex-2NE1).

Of course there are other groups, but at the moment I don't remember them. When I remember, I'll put them here too.

ANIMES

Now I'm going to talk about my otaku tastes.

I can't say that I've watched that many animes. However, I've watched One Piece, Naruto (Classic and Shippuden), Death Note, Sailor Moon, Futari wa Pretty Cure, Citrus, InuYasha, Tokyo Revengers and Demon Slayer. I didn't finish all of these, but I got to watch a little (or a lot).

I confess that I have a special affection for One Piece, Naruto and Death Note. They are definitely works that saved my life.

DORAMAS

I love doramas! I will contextualize dramas here, like every kind of Asian series/show.

So I'll start with my all-time favorite dorama, Hana Yori Dango, and some of its international versions, which are Boys Over Flowers and Meteor Garden. Also, I also love Alice in Borderland, Girl from Nowhere, All Of Us Are Dead, 1 Litre of Tears (this was the saddest drama I've ever watched in my life, I cried SO MUCH when I saw it...), 14-sai no Haha, and King the Land.

I also like the Thai lesbian movies called Yes or No and Yes or No 2.

SERIES

I've also watched some series, like Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries, The Walking Dead, Riverdale, Stranger Things, Orange Is The New Black, Euphoria, Game of Thrones (although I haven't finished most of them because I have ADHD) , and many others...

MUSIC

Besides K-Pop, I also like some solo singers like Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Lana Del Rey, Melanie Martinez, Adele, Mitski, Justin Bieber, The Weeknd, Lady Gaga, Avril Lavigne, Madonna, Akon, Nelly Furtado, and others...

And rock bands... Like Evanescence, Paramore, Pierce the Veil, Slipknot, Linkin Park, Panic! at the Disco, Tokio Hotel and more more...

SOME BONUS

I love Studio Ghibli movies. I love to read and write fanfics, and yes, I consume and will produce NSFW content.

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My mother tongue is Portuguese, because I'm Brazilian. However, I'm trying to learn better and improve my English here on Tumblr.

I confess that I am quite a perfectionist, and sometimes a little lazy. I don't care about likes/comments as long as I'm doing what I really enjoy, but anyway, of course a like or a comment on any future fanfics I create would make me really happy!♡

CONCLUSION

This blog certainly didn't tell half of me, but it may already have given you a certain idea. I think so...

This is a personal and interactive account, so if I start writing here on Tumblr, I will PROBABLY create another account specifically for that.

So I end up here♡

[thegreatklaid]

Welcome to Klaid's Awful Idea of Playing Every Numbered Final Fantasy in Order!!

So, to make a long story short, the Pixel Remasters were on sale. With that I realized, I had every one of the numbered games minus XVI on the Steam Deck. So, I decided, I hate myself. Thus, we are gonna play all of them.

I am pretty excited, I have been wanting to replay some of these games again. I've done this before, many many years ago, before FFXIII even came out. And nowhere near in order. (FFVIII was my first game and the last one that I managed to beat). But, I've always told myself that I can't beat FFVII for a 33rd time, and that I should play a new game for once. But now I have an excuse, and I hope you all join me in this one.

I'm gonna use this space to keep track of my thoughts, even more than that I plan on organizing them into a before and after. Like I've said, I've beaten the first twelve, so we're gonna talk about how I remember them, what I want to do this playthrough, and how I expect to like it after the fact. Then we'll do another post on how that all came out, and where I think it goes in order after everything. Which means I should put my current list

XII > X > VII > IV > IX > I > VIII > V > XI > VI > III > II

Now we're wiping that away. Because I actually already beat I. I didn't want to start this whole thing if I couldn't even get through one game. And now I'm committed to the idea. In short, I liked FFI. I made some weird mistakes, completely forgot that you can just buy 99 potions, so the first few dungeons were way harder and getting bullshit hits was way meaner than I remember it being. I made a lot of notes on that I didn't like the dungeons in the first game. Too many blind dead ends with them. But I really liked the bosses.

Also these pixel remasters are the weirdest collection of changes that have happened to FF1. They use the old class change styles where they get all skinny. But it uses mostly the Origins stats. Although I learned after the fact that it uses changes made to Red Mage, Monk, and Thief from Dawn of Souls, but it keeps the MP system. It was bizarre.

Which makes me wonder how FFII will work out. But that's for the next day.

[bi-curious--george]

An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

I feel silly even writing this. That being said.. what's it going to hurt? I know you have a tendancy to read things and lurking in places nobody would expect.  And personally, I don't think you'll ever actually read this, but I have always wanted to tell you what a fan I am, and I figure after this many years, it may be time.  I talked myself out of writing this, thinking nobody's going to read it, and that may be true, but, one time when i was drunk, I wrote president obama about how unjust the system was and rambled about domestic violence and he wrote me back a very personal letter and if that can happen because of my words, why not try to see if you read this and I can ramble about what an impact you made in my life.  And what a hypocrite i would be if i would sit every day telling people how important their stories are, but think that mine isnt important.  I don't need a response, and don't believe I will ever get one.. But it would mean the world to me if you knew how much you saved me as a kid.  To give you some context, I am a therapist now, but I have been a fan of yours since before your first album ever came out.  And I really believe that your album was a huge reason I got through my shitty childhood to be here today.  I would love to tell you a funny little glimpse of how I'm stumbled upon you.

So i grew up just dirt poor.  And i had a really, really traumatic childhood (and adulthood, but thats a different letter, to, Obama apparently) and i remember so vividly how i became a fan of yours.  So. I was trying to take a bath.  And i loved baths - this was my escape from my awful childhood right?   and i used to play the radio while i did and I'd crank the music.  And we lived in the middle of nowhere with no actual television reception so my parents had to pay for satellite TV.  So i did have that going  for me.   So i turn on the satellite radio on my parents tv all the way up, go draw my bath down the hall, and i get in the tub and get in, and i heard your music for the first time. I wish I could remember the first song, but i dont (I am betting Tim McGraw, but i dont recall precisely). What i do remember is me running down the hall in a towel, basically tripping over myself soaking wet, literally  dripping, yelling " DON'T CHANGE IT I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS".  And you or maybe the dj? announced your first album coming out, and i instantly knew what i was going to ask for for Christmas.  

I didnt think i was going to get it.  I actually rarely got what i wanted for gifts, They normally shopped at the dollar store. Around Christmas time, i showed them your CD and begged and begged for it. I still didn't think id get it. I have vague memories of showing them the CD of yours in a Kmart and very dramatically saying  " this one! " So They couldn't claim they didn't know which one it was when Christmas time rolled around. 

The suspense is killing you, im sure. So I'll  get to it, but, I did get your cd for Christmas. And then from that point on, every time I got screamed at, every time I was hurt, or I didn't feel heard, i could at least escape. It was a peace offering of sorts in my mind, i think.   My favorite song was probably "Tied Together With A Smile". 

Life got a little hard after that, I'd become a single mom at 19 and my relationships were, well, complicated, and your music just became more and more relatable. And I just was able to pour myself more and more into your music. I've always just been so thankful for your music to be there. I found a partner and I love him, and somehow your music is still relatable.

 I've appreciated that your music  has been there the whole time.  The staying power it had in my life, from teens to 30s, I think is what made it so impactful. Your music was the soundtrack of my life while ive been learning how to reclaim my life as my own - and seemingly watching you do the same. 

I always wished I could have seen you in concert. But money got tight, then stayed tight.  I settled for what i could- scream singing in the car and shower.   

I went to grad school, had some more kids, and I became a therapist and my parents disowned me which was a wild ride.  I tried so hard to get tickets to see you this time, I didn't think I would care that much, I even anticipated it not going in my favor as I was grown now and i can handle not getting to go to a concert if they ran out of tickets.

I will admit, this Ticketmaster fiasco felt so unfair.  I had worked for so long and so hard to get to a place where i could finally see you in person.  I had been a fan since before your first album.  Life had screwed me over so many times in so many ways, but it felt like i made it through it - and now i could support myself and spend my own money and be a part of this eras tour - see all the eras i couldn't see when i was hiding from the abusive relationships or couldn't afford the albums and had to repeat them on YouTube to memorize them.  I was crushed after 8+ hours of waiting to still not get tickets. 

I'm betting not hearing you in person probably hurt more at the time because I found you when I lived with my parents and  since I had been disowned semi recently by my parents and you had been such an integral part in my healing it became this awful metaphor for me not being able to move forward.  "I'm 32, I went to grad school, i still can't buy a house for my family, my car is going to die and I can't replace it (at the time), I'm stuck at a job that doesn't appreciate me, I can't even see the one concert I wanted, where did I fuck up so bad?" and like it was an awful loop of me messing up somewhere along the line.. and I cried probably every day from the day of Ticketmaster failure until the second day of Minneapolis, and even sometimes now even thinking about losing the chance. Ticketmaster had other ideas for me i guess.  And that's not on you, that's just a me thing.  And that's for my new therapist to unpack,  😂

I still try to watch the lives on tiktok so I can try to be a part of What is likely our generations Woodstock. You are doing amazing things, and I hope that you and your family and friends are endlessly proud of you.

Regardless, thank you for being a part of my journey, I'm so glad you were there. And if you ever tour again, which I hope you do, I'll see you there. 

I wrote this whole thing out on 8/1,  I was going to print it out and mail it as I had heard that's  the best avenue..  then I never got around to it as I felt silly. It's now 8/3, the day that more dates were announced (I knew it! I knew Canada would get some dates!)  Unfortunately Minnesota did not get more dates but I'm going to register for Indianapolis  on 11/2- it's worth a shot.  🤞. I slept on it, and said to myself, Let's put it on Tumblr and let the universe decide if you should see it.

[aroacemarie]

above all, i think it needs to be understood that biting is a means of communication. not all cats have the same vocabulary and not all bites have the same context.

bites can mean a lot of things depending on the cat and the situation: "stop," "pay attention to me!" "im overstimulated," "youre hurting me," "hi :)" "hey are u food???" "you are Toy now :)" etc.

I'll continue under a Read More because i already know im gonna go on for a LOOOOONG time bc cat behavior is my Number One Interest™️ lol

but for those of you who dont wanna read a bunch, TL;DR: OP is absolutely right

kittens, kinda like human babies, really like to Explore things with their mouths, so its pretty common for them to chomp during play, especially if theyre very young or were separated from their littermates too early. kittens are still learning Cat Etiquette, and a lot of that is learned through play.

a lot of negative behavior like biting is unknowingly reinforced by owners (of all experience levels), ive found. if your cat bites you during play and you dont IMMEDIATELY end the play session, theyll think its okay to bite while playing. if they bite you when they want your attention and you respond by giving them what they want, theyre gonna learn that biting works and do it more. again though, every cat is different. a bitey cat is not automatically Your Fault.

overstimulation is another huge reason cats bite. i feel like a massive amount of "the cat bit me out of NOWHERE!" situations are really just someone failing to notice the signs of an overstimulated cat during activities such as petting. every cat is different, but some warning signs are: increased/"lashing" motion in the tail, lip licking, suddenly stiffening up a little, movement getting more "jerky," ears subtly going back, placing a paw/foot on your hand, etc. its easier to detect as you get to know a cat as an individual.

every cat has a different "bite threshold" too. some cats will let you do just about anything and still not bite (shoutout to all the family cats out there living with small children. most patient mfs on earth), others will skip all the nuance and go straight to biting the second theyve had enough.

the cats that go straight to biting are often the ones who are used to their other attempts to communicate being ignored. after all, why waste time with asking politely if people only seem to listen when you get violent? this still does NOT necessarily mean the cat is in an abusive situation though! you as an outsider dont know the full story. you dont know the cats history. dont jump to conclusions!

and, of course, cats may bite when theyre in pain... but it may not necessarily even be the person being bit who's causing the pain! a sick cat is going to act avoidant and will be more likely to bite if cornered. if a cat has arthritis/etc, it may bite if you accidentally touch a tender spot on their body, etc.

cats dont have words to tell us what theyre feeling. they cant say "stop" or "im bored" or "my leg hurts," so they have to find ways to communicate their feelings in a different way. sometimes this means biting! but a bite alone cant tell you whats going on. look at the body language. look at the context.

if you dont "speak cat" well (or at all), dont be afraid to ask somebody to "translate" for you before jumping to conclusions. you cant accurately assume what somebody means in a language you dont understand.

and when you do see well-meaning people making innocent mistakes... be kind. we have so many words we can use to communicate with each other. theres no need for you to start with biting.

Some people on this website wholeheartedly believe a cat will only try to bite its’ owner if it’s under traumatizing levels of stress.

I assure you cats will bite for a variety of reasons up to and including “fun and me time”

[i0-0na]

Entry 10 - Animation Party

Date : 06.05.2024

This week Monday, Dom, Matthijs and I were invited to an animation welcome party. I was pretty tired though, and somewhat anxious to be honest, so I was kind of unsure about going. I couldn’t really explain why, at one point I even felt like I was going to be sick. However, I decided to go anyways because why not~

We put name tags on ourselves (I wrote my name both in Japanese and English, I’m good at hiragana and katakana alphabet but not Kanji ;-;). However, I felt my anxiety rise again as soon as we were put onto random tables, and I wasn’t with my friends. I find it easy to make friends and stuff but honestly the language barrier was what was making worry, but I did my best.

I was so confused I ended up asking one of the professors who understood English, and she was like “Yeah! Are you in a circle?” I just stared blankly back at her. I had no clue what she meant. So, I pointed at the table and I said “I guess we’re in a circle now???” They just laughed and the conversation moved on. Later I told Matthijs about this cryptic message and they told me ‘circle’ was like another term for club or in this context because we’re at university, society. I was like oooohhh, I get it now wow ToT.  When food was brought out people started moving around so I went to Matthijs’ table, I wasn’t hungry, so I barely ate anything. Also, I still kinda felt ill. A bit later on that’s when I started feeling a bit better, as well I felt more comfortable to get out of my shell and began to start talking and making friends with people. Since we’re all animation majors one of the key points of our conversations was anime we liked and I put on my name tag. Even though I put Space Dandy on mine, I honestly dislike the idea of me having to pick my ‘favourite’ because I like so many works its hard to pick unless you give me a really specific category, but to be honest even then depending on the genre I sometimes would give you a top 3 answer instead lol. So yea that basically allowed me to talk more about different shows and video games like Nier:Automata, Persona 5, Attack on Titan and other such.

Then out of nowhere we were made to play a game of Jan Ken Pon (rock paper scissors). There was a whole cafeteria sized table which was just stocked with prizes to be won. On the second round of the game, I actually won lolololol!!! So, I made my way to the table and I decided to take a Denji prize figure, it isn’t like a raffle where you know depending on which tier/rank you get you are limited to the amount of prizes, we could just honestly pick whatever thing we wanted. I debated on getting this cushion with one of the sensei faces on, I think he was like the head of animation at Zokei, but I was like you know what I think someone else should get it probably because it would probably mean more to them in a way idk but it was pretty amusing none the less to see that as a prize. As soon as I got my Denji figure I nearly immediately start to rub it into the face of Dom hahahaha, as a joke of course, but none the less it was a great triumph.

My rock paper scissor skills are elite

I’m glad I ended up going, there’s no reason not to give social events ago. Especially on student exchange, even if I feel nervous, I think people should always try to push themselves a bit out their comfort zones.

(Y)ou (O)nly (L)ive (O)nce

Later that week we talked about Golden Week during our Japanese classes, as well as learning the usual useful language technique/grammar. I’m really sad that these classes will be ending so soon, I genuinely enjoy these classes as well as learning Japanese language ☹. It’s always been a goal of mine to become fluent and to live long term in Japan. It’s so crazy that now I am living in Japan but still I think I want to stay here for an even longer term.

After class we asked our teacher if he wanted to come drinking with us at an izakaya, originally, he was but then when we arrived something came up, so he had to go home. However, Silvia, Matthijs, Dom and I decided to still go. This izakaya is right by the uni/train station. At this place I tried hot sake, it was kind of weird to try “hot” alcohol and I mean it was hot, like a nice cup of tea kinda hot lol.

It was such a nice evening~

I’ve noticed by my window that the plant outside is a rose tree. The pink roses are blossoming, when I saw them, it reminded me of myself. Of how so far, how I’ve grown, and feel more stable living in a foreign country, as well as other aspects of my personal life. I feel at peace.

Other notes:

I’ve found these crisps which are mentioned in this one mobile game I reallyyyyy liked, it called Mystic Messenger. I bought some and tried it, they were awful ☹! Like with sauce or put into a sandwich they are somewhat okay but by themselves?? Sorry 707 I cannot fathom, fictional or not, why they would want to eat that like every day.

On a separate separate note, it seems that its Mother’s Day in Japan (12th). So, I had to wish my mum a second happy Mother’s Day lololol. Before leaving for Japan, I bought her a Collin/Collette the Caterpillar cake (spa day themed) for her and my brothers to share. From the sounds of it they all seemed to like it.

Till next time ✌️😉

Byyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-Iona

Song Playing: To the end - Blur

[radio-ghost-cooks]

Can you please go into as much detail as you’re comfortable with about your beef with the Michelin Star Guide? Idk you seem like you would have a lot to say and I wanna hear it :)

ABSOLUTELY

ive been waiting for an excuse to rant abt this lmao (under the cut for the sake of everyone on mobile so they don't have to scroll like 8 times)

first of all, we looked at this thing and said "oh yeah! this tire company says that these places are worth driving to! they must be the pinnacle of the culinary world!" tire company. we conciously allowed a tire company to tell us what is worth going to. are you kidding me? we don't even know who the inspectors are! and we're letting them choose what the best of the best is. plus, who lets them decide what's worth driving to? i think its worth the drive to the diner in the next city over for a hot open-faced turkey sandwich but i wouldn't drive to The Middle Of Nowhere, Greenland for a singular piece of sea urchin on some graham crackers.

and that's another thing! hot take: the Michelin Guide is actively destroying the "cuisine" part of "haute cuisine." so many restaurants on that guide think more about "how unusual is this" or "how pretty is this" than thinking "does this taste good, or is it just super complex?" or even "maybe i should put more than just a single ounce of cucumber on this plate." and look. i get it. there's a certain novelty to odd new ingredients. i'm all for bug proteins! i think its cool how people blend together unique ingredients from separate cuisines to make something brand new! but Apollon almighty, you have to draw the line somewhere! i don't think serving brains is a good idea. and stop making foams out of every single liquid you can! i want a sauce, a gastrique, a water! not a mouthful of bubbles. (again, it has its place, but its so overused!) its become so pretentious.

and they say one of their criteria is "value for money." really? i wouldn't have been able to tell. look, yeah, the piece of duck boiled in veal fat served over a ritz cracker with chimichurri and a pear compote on top tasted real good, but it took up approximately 3% of the plate. i don't care how many dishes you're serving; if they can all fit inside my palm, i don't want to pay upwards of $300 for the whole meal for one person.

and boy oh boy, i think they need to add a new criteria to the list! "Is The Management Full Of Assholes?" see: Noma! that whole fiasco is finally opening people's eyes to problems that are rampant in this industry. I don't want to be eating somewhere where someone joins the back-of-house in the hopes of learning something and they wind up doing nothing but shining forks the entire time they're there. i don't want to eat somewhere that's owned by a raging misogynist.

i just think the Guide puts too much emphasis on the "cutting-edge" and not enough emphasis on "does it feel like this dish was made by someone to feed someone else something good and wholesome" and its hurting the industry.

[doctor-says-im-alright]

This lacks a heavy degree of nuance and more consideration and this take is a bit strange.

Its not a given. Its not a standard. I dont think Ive ever even really hard it stated as so, not to discredit that you have heard it.

But I will challenge it, its rather discompassionate to say it is jealous abled siblings and peers (not to say those people dont exist, they would fall into a different category Id say… generally selfish assholes, with narcissistic nature. But truly that is a rare category, if it even exists somehow without abuse being part of it).

You can take my family as an example… my little sister was mentally ill. She was rather depressed and had social anxiety, as well as ADHD, she became the “baby.” All the attention went to her, so much so that CPS was calling on us, I was the reason for her illnesses/the scapegoat. She really was mentally ill, and she really was favored, as in my parents took her to get help, harshly punished my siblings and I for behaving as normal siblings.

I have 2 other siblings. My little brother very clearly also had ADHD, a learning disability, and also depressed. He was ignored, and my dad often bullied him badly. My older brother used drugs to cope, and it later came out my little brother self harmed. I also self harmed, was sexually assaulted by a coworker twice my age when I was 16, groomed further by him because there was nowhere for me to go, I was kicked out for them finding out about it rather than helped, I continue to be put down to this day. Mind you I am 24 now, I have been in 12 psych wards in total over a year in just the past 5 years. I asked my dad to look after the family cat recently for me while I was in one and he told me it was too inconvenient.

They were falling over themselves to help my sister with everything. I remember the first time she was in a hospital, last year. First and only time. They felll over themselves to answer her phone calls and be with her. I remember one of my calls they yelled at me for the phone bill, told me they were too busy watching football, etc. she was only in for med adjustments, I was in after failing suicide. They pay for everything for her, while I was actually homeless for months due to being unable to afford anything.

But she was also subject to my parents abuse. She was forced into complete helplessness, unable to learn any skills because my parents decided for her she was incapable. I think a bit of Gypsy Rose, that story, but less severe ofc.

I am not unique. Ive heard many similar stories. I hear your pain, but I see it as the same situation honestly. She probably didnt realize she was favored - because frankly being favored means nothing about being safe from abuse. It is very clear to me anyone expressing how a ill sibling was favored was also mistreated. Like it is very obvious there is neglect and loneliness in there, if not heading all the way up to trauma levels of so. Development time is seriously a damaging time for even the slightest things to be off.

They are miscommunicating it and not being thoughtful enough just the same.

the “parents favor the sick child” stereotype is so utterly fucking untrue . I’ve literally seen parents make their teen kid babysit their 3 younger siblings while getting chemotherapy for aggressive cancer

the myth that when you’re sick you’re given everything you want is such insane made up bullshit 95% fabricated by jealous abled siblings and peers who will go on to disown you the microsecond you don’t get them attention anymore

[button-mash]

What I played last week #8

Klona 2 [Playstation 2]

This was such an absolute treat to play. I had heard of the series before, but I'd genuinely never played any of them at all - in fact they'd just totally passed me by really. I think they got remade fairly recently and it suddenly felt like everyone but me had some proper beloved history with the series, so not sure how I totally missed it - especially as I love platformers. Managed to snipe an eBay auction for this for £12 which I was buzzing about considering it rarely goes for less than £30 and often sells in the £50-60 range. 

Playing this it feels like it's the insane centrepoint between SO many games that have come before and since, I'd love to learn more about it and any games that were actively influenced by it, because it felt like it could somehow have come out in any area of platformers and fit in perfectly. At different points it reminded me of Nights, Kirby 64, Crash Brandicoot, Rayman, Mario Galaxy and more, yet somehow always still felt like completely it's own thing too. It's a pretty simple game at it's core - it's a 2.5D platformer where you can jump and hover, but can also grab enemies if you're close enough, either throwing them across the screen as a weapon, or using them to jump off and essentially serve as a double jump. The game actually starts off pretty slowly and at first I thought it was going to be another Kirby - something with loads of personality and character, but ultimately so easy it undermines the whole thing. However, the games levels quickly become more and more complex and constantly alternate between platforming and puzzles sections - by the end it becomes difficult enough where you have to have mastered every technique in the arsenal to progress through the levels, some of which are surprisingly long and complex.

The most amazing thing is how good the game looks, it's just absolutely beautiful - I genuinely couldn't believe it was a PS2 game at times. The occasional blurry texture or jagged edge gave it away, but there is just so much vibrant colour, detail, movement and animation on every level, it just gave the game an insane amount of character and life to each stage, and all of them have such a strong, memorable visual identity. There is even an amazing sense of scale to some of the levels where you'll get shot high into the air and you'll see these massively complex stages just fully modelled out and it just shows how much imagination and craft have gone into each one. There is one level set in a theme park and it just looks incredible. It's seemingly impossible to find any good quality gifs of this that aren't from the remake or haven't been upscaled in PCSX2, but hopefully you get the picture from an art direction perspective

The game isn't without it's flaws - there are some difficulty spikes that come out of nowhere and very strict animation windows sometimes make you feel like you missed grabs or jumps that you made, but it's rare and the platforming usually feels great. It never becomes a real chore of a challenge, but the levels become difficult enough where you feel genuinely accomplished getting through them, especially the last few levels. The bosses are also great mechanically, although they start to feel a little similar by the end. 

Normally if you play a retro game without the nostalgia, there is always this element of wishing you could have played it at the time, simply because it's almost always aged in some way that diminishes the experience at least a tiny bit. Here this just feels like that rare experience where it could have come out yesterday and I think I'd still be banging on about how much I loved it - if I'd unknowlingly played the remakes without knowing they were remakes, I don't know if Id have been able to tell from a design point of view. Im glad I played the original though, honestly one of the best looking, most colourful and lively games I think Ive played on the PS2, all at a crisp 60fps. Looked absolutely phenomenal on the PVM, I wish I could somehow show off how great it looked.

[suhnnyskiess]

oh also! well… the idea of victorian floriography stemmed from their rigid social norms and rules. they were a society of people who were always expected to be prim and proper and got no margin to express themselves unless it was within the boundaries set of their time.

so they started using flowers as a way to express their true feelings. which meant some flowers have negative meanings lmao. i quite don’t like the meaning of certain flowers bcs it’s men being like “that woman is vain so she deserves a white hydrangea since she is cold hearted and rejected my proposal” like 🙄 stfu ✋🏻 take rejection like a gentleman. but it’s still interesting that even with negative emotions, they presented flowers (i doubt this was always the case lmao i’m not entirely sure but the purpose of the flowers were to express emotions and leave clues for secret conversations bcs these people were repressed as hell)

but no, i don’t think victorian flower symbolism is the standard. it really depends and it’s a whole mix of things. like the blue hydrangeas meaning i told you about. it comes from a japanese folktale of an emperor who neglected his wife, so he sent her family blue hydrangeas as an apology and a promise to be a better husband. and the forget-me-not meaning comes from a german legend.

i think the standard meanings are picked from different cultures. but i don’t really know if there’s a standard at all, really. i suppose it depends. i do know that not all victorian era symbols are standard bcs some of them are negative and the flowers are so pretty why would you give them a negative meaning. you get what i mean?

i feel so bad bc I should know WHO ARE YOU but my brain is like trying to think but it goes nowhere LMAO just gonna let myself be surprised and enjoy the experience 🤪🤪

ALSO THAT MAKES SOOO MUCH SENSE!! Kinda romantic they started to use flowers as a nonverbal way of communication ngl, however yeah kinda shitty they gave somo flowers a negative meaning? Like 🚩, butttt yeah it also makes sense it can differ from which era and place you are? For example the tales you said that come from different cultures!thats very cool and i kinda love it they were inspired by tales.

I wonder now if in my own culture we have different meanings too 🧐 like ive always seen/heard about flowers/plants and their healing properties but as ive been speaking with you i think ive heard about a flower we call it "Flor de Mayo" (Mayflower?? In eng) which is also valled Nickté and I believe it's sacred for mayan culture? And in countries where there are still mayan communities i believe the flower is used to honor members of the community who are important religious or civil figures. (It caught my attention bc a friend of mine is called Nickté like the flower and they kinda explain to us their name)

ANYWAYS i conclude flowers are amazing, like its so wonderful how many variations there are and how much you can learn from history too, bc I am guessing the meaning varies from the context it was used too. Like ugh I simply love learning it has been so fun talking to you 😭‼️‼️

Also happy valentines day sweetie!<3 ive been having a great time talking to you and learning <3you are a great storyteller and overall great expressing concepts hehe hope you had fun talking to me too 💗💗