#like being held accountable means u choose to be part of the accountability process

[mueritos]

Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.

Idk anymore

I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.

Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.

and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.

again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.

but also like kill ur idols lol

[beewolfwrites]

The Oar in the Sand - Chapter Four: Guessing Games

@cheshiya @tenseoyong @szallejhscorner @something-more-original-please @ofsunsetsandpoetries @nek0dzuken @allozaur @serenzippity

I’m sorry if there’s any typos or mistakes in this. Some chapters are just harder to write, and I end up repeating words over and over haha. If you spot any, do let me know! 

As always, I’ll leave the AO3 link here. And I hope you like it! 

--------------------------------------------------

The Latin alphabet.

The message could be written in any language from English to Spanish, Czech or even Latin itself.

It could mean anything.

Unlike An, Headband or Pigtails, I had the advantage, and I could still save us. Except I had no idea where to start, and the steady pressure of the game was already settling on my shoulders like a thick fog.  

The Queen was smiling at me from the other gallows. I understood now, the way her eyes had lingered on me back in the reception. She probably hadn’t accounted for a foreigner to be here – after all, her game was intrinsically designed for native Japanese speakers. And yet that smile, the way the corners of her eyes crinkled ever so slightly; she was still confident.

And she should be. She already knows I can’t read morse code.

‘I don’t mean to rush you,’ said Pigtails, ‘but do you think you’ll be able to decode some of it?’ Her previous hope had wilted away, and she was now watching me with apprehension.

The message glared at me from the screen, nonsensical and confusing. The dots and dashes were swarming, melting into one dotted mass that darkened the room. My arms and legs felt detached, swinging from this noose like a doll. So many people had died. The teenage girl, the business man, Pink Scrunchie, countless players accused of being witches... I wasn’t able to save any of them.

And now, four more lives would be added to the list.

‘Stop panicking.’

I jumped at the sharpness of An’s voice. The dots and dashes returned to their screen. My hands and legs were still intact, still moving.

‘Take a deep breath and focus,’ she instructed.

Swallowing, I breathed in and out shakily. My chest felt hollow, and at the same time, it was crawling with jitters. ‘How can you be so calm? 何を知っている分からない.’ I don’t know what I’m doing.

‘Yes, you do. Chishiya brought you to the Beach for a reason.’

Chishiya?

That was why she trusted me?

I couldn’t hold back a bitter laugh; no matter how much I loved him, what he did at the Beach, the way he had almost betrayed me, it was still painful to think about.

‘違う.’ You’re wrong. I didn’t exactly have the vocabulary to explain properly, but I was sure they’d get the gist. ‘苣屋は私を使ってトランプの盗むしていた. それが唯一の理由だった.’ Chishiya was using me to steal the cards. That was the only reason.

An’s lips parted in surprise. Headband and Pigtails were whispering in low voices. I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but from their tones it was clear they didn’t think too highly of Chishiya.

‘So that’s what really happened,’ An muttered, filling in the rest of the blanks herself. ‘It was hard to believe Arisu could be capable of doing something like that.’ She shook her head slowly, processing the new information. ‘I suppose it no longer matters, since the Beach is gone now. But Chishiya still made a good decision bringing you to us. I’ve heard about your games, and I believe you’re more capable than you think.’

I remembered my conversation with Chishiya the day before the second stage, when he told me I would be good at Diamonds. Back then, he was wrong. Just looking at the dots and dashes on the screen, I knew this game was beyond me. And yet, it would be nothing more than a simple brainteaser for someone like him.

I wonder, what would he do? How would he approach this game?

I tried to picture his response to a morse code message. I tried to imagine his methods of breaking it down logically. But even so, it was impossible to understand how his brain worked. He was totally different to me. He was rational and analytical, able to uncover a solution to even the most complex situations. All I could do was notice things. I wasn’t Chishiya, nor would I ever be. And right now, was he wandering the streets looking for me? Probably not. Knowing him, he might have even gone straight to the Jack of Diamonds venue.  

No. That can’t be true.

He cared. I knew that. I’d felt his fingers playing with my hair whenever I drifted in and out of sleep during the night. I’d witnessed that unreadable expression of his when he first saw the bruises Niragi left. I’d felt his hands tearing me away from the balcony edge when...

‘If we were in a game together, and say, someone pointed a gun at me, would you do that? As in, would you stand back and watch?’

‘I don’t know.’

My vision glassed over at the memory. Chishiya, you...

You liar.

I rubbed away the tears and tried to hold my chin up higher. ‘みんな、ごめんね. 今大丈夫.’ I’m sorry everyone. It’s okay now.

There were only fifty-two minutes left. The Queen, who had remained silent this whole time, was watching on with a vague, academic intrigue. Despite the pristine neatness of her olive suit and her black shoes, she was relaxed, raising her delicate eyebrows as I looked at her squarely.

‘You said before that you might be able to answer some of our questions, so I want to make a deal.’

‘What kind of deal?’ Her eyes glinted as if I’d just proposed a new game – as if I’d made this even more fun for her.

The drawing of the gallows was still waiting, empty, on the second screen. ‘If we figure out this message and clear the game, you have to answer my questions.’

She took the time to consider it. ‘I suppose that’s fair,’ she said. ‘One of us will die here, so it hardly matters anymore. It’s a deal.’

I’d said those same words to Chishiya, and I had no intention of breaking our promise here in this library. With a little more confidence now, I analysed the coded message closely. Normally in a game of Hangman, vowels were a first choice because of how often they were used. But we could only pick two.

What’s the most used vowel in the Latin alphabet?

Most people would assume it was A, but if I had to make a guess, I’d probably say E. Lots of languages with a Latin alphabet, like French, Spanish and Italian, used words like el, es, e, and est. But if E was the most common vowel, would that make it too obvious a choice?

I chanced a look at the Queen. She was smiling, not in a manipulative or secretive way, but as if she was quietly supporting us from the sidelines. It was peculiar. There was a chance she had purposely avoided E because of how often it was used, and I wouldn’t put it past her – she was still alive for a reason.

So what’s the second most common?

U was a no-go. Out of all the vowels it was definitely the least popular. A would be far too obvious as well. It would have to be a gamble between I and O. There were just forty-eight minutes left, and there was no time to waste hesitating between them.

Pick one, pick one.

‘If it’s okay with everyone,’ I said, ‘I’m going to choose O.’

Pigtails and Headbands looked unsure, most likely because I kept switching languages accidentally. On the other hand, An was open to the idea, replying only with, ‘I trust you.’

I held my breath, transfixed by the dots and dashes before us.

A number of Os appeared, scattered throughout the message; two in the first line, three in the second, four in the third, and one in the fourth. The drawing of the empty gallows remained unchanged.

We did it!

Beside me, Headband exhaled a sigh of relief and murmured a subdued thank you. Much to my surprise, however, the Queen didn’t seem disheartened by our small victory. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she looked pleased for us.

‘A good choice to start with, I must say.’ She clasped her hands together, resting them against her blazer. ‘Unfortunately, you’ve used up one of your vowels, but you seem like smart girls. I’m sure you’ll do well.’

How could she be so happy?

‘Isn’t this a bad thing for you?’ I asked. ‘Aren’t you worried?’

‘Should I be? There’s no good or bad,’ she countered, ‘just two perspectives.’

She’s a gamemaster, isn’t she? She set up these games, and she’ll die here if we win.

‘But we’re your enemy...’

She smiled warmly once more. ‘I think you’ll find we’re on the same side.’

On the same side? I didn’t understand. It didn’t make sense at all. ‘What do y—’

‘Don’t bother.’ An took off her sunglasses, openly assessing the Queen. ‘She’s intentionally wasting our time.’

She was right. The clock was now on forty-seven minutes, and the Queen seemed to be particularly skilled at raising more questions than she answered. I could interrogate her about all of this once we’d cleared the game – some things took priority. I focused my concentration on the code, trying to find some kind of hint or pattern there.

.-.   ..   -.   --. / .- / .-.   ..   -.   --. / O / .-.   o   ...   .   ...

.- / .--.   o   -.-.   -.-   .   - / ..-.   ..-   .-..   .-.. / o   ..-. / .--.   o   ...   ..   .   ...

.- / -   ..   ...   ....   o   o / .- / -   ..   ...   ....   o   o

.--   . / .-   .-..   .-.. / ..-.   .-   .-..   .-.. / -..   o   .--   -.

From what I could see, the O in the first line was capitalised. It was a standalone word – usually that would mean the word was either archaic, or it was in another language. But the Os in the third line were even more curious. The morse symbols repeated themselves twice, with the Os hinting at what could only be either onomatopoeia, or again, archaic terminology.

‘What do you think?’ Pigtails asked.

My eyes scanned the repetitions in the third line. There was something off about it. Words didn’t usually repeat themselves twice in a row like that... unless they were poetic. It would certainly explain why the O was alone in the top line, and why this message was carefully constructed with line breaks in the first place.

If it’s poetry, I might have heard it before.

Headband perked up suddenly. ‘What about going with the most common characters?’

By characters, she must’ve meant letters. I still didn’t know what language the message was in, so I could only use the letters I knew rather than those with accents. Although, playing Hangman as a child, there were always certain letters that wielded the best chance of success.

‘Let’s go with M,’ I said at last. There was usually at least one hiding somewhere. The four of us looked at the screen in anticipation. My fists clenched at my sides as I willed for an M to appear in the mix.

The screen changed.

The wrong screen. A circle appeared below the noose in the drawing. The hangman now had a head.

I could feel the others looking at me, aware that they had put their trusted me and I had let them down. ‘I’m sorry...’ I told them. ‘I’m sorry. ごめん.’

A hand lightly squeezed my shoulder. ‘It’s okay,’ Headband said. ‘We’ve still got more tries.’

Pigtails stepped as close as the noose would allow. ‘This was going to happen at some point. And at least now we know which characters aren’t there. It narrows down the possible words.’

There was silence from An. Perhaps she was disappointed in me, or even regretting her decision to let me captain this game. I wouldn’t blame her if that was the case. I felt the same way, only my regret was stained with guilt too. If I couldn’t save the three of them, at least I would die too. At least I would get what I deserved.

I glanced up at the timer. Forty-five minutes until someone gets sent to the gallows. I couldn’t let it be them.

I can’t lose control of myself like this.

‘You’ve used up one of your ten consonants,’ the Queen reminded us, steady and composed as always. ‘As a word of advice, relying on an age-old strategy doesn’t necessarily work.’

Every time the Queen opened her mouth, she only confused me more. And judging from An’s response, I wasn’t the only one to feel that way. ‘Why should we listen to your advice? Our failure is your win.’

‘Maybe you shouldn’t,’ the Queen replied. ‘But I’ll leave it up to you to decide.’

She didn’t sound like she was purposely trying to mislead us, but that in itself could be what made it so misleading. Most people tend to gravitate towards common letters when playing Hangman – is that what she meant by an ‘age-old-strategy’?

In that case...

I took a deep breath. Maybe this was worth the risk. ‘I think we should try doing the opposite,’ I stated. ‘I think we should choose an uncommon letter.’ Realising I’d slipped between languages yet again, I tried to remember the words in Japanese. ‘逆が試みよう.’ Let’s try the opposite. ‘レアの文字.’ An uncommon letter.

The Queen could have purposely avoided using popular ones to throw us off. But if I was wrong, was it worth losing a turn? The bodiless head dangled from its noose on the other screen.

Only six chances left.

‘It’s worth a shot,’ said An.

Pigtails peered at us from the end of the platform. ‘Are you sure? We don’t have that many chances of guessing.’

I understood her hesitation. It felt like we were gambling with our lives, and I was the one calling the shots. And it was even worse for her as she was placing her life in someone else’s hands. ‘I know, わかてる,’ I tried to reassure her. ‘If it doesn’t work, we can try a different approach.’

Headband was twiddling her fingers again, although there was a hardness in her posture. A resolve to win. ‘It won’t be a waste, because we’ll know then that it’s the wrong strategy. I trust you two.’

It felt good to know they had my back, even if my previous attempt at guessing hadn’t worked. Maybe things would take a turn for the better? I exhaled slowly, trying to assemble the most unlikely letters. Q was definitely a contender. Z was again, too obvious, but X was hardly ever used because there were fewer words you could make with it. It was probably the most unlikely letter to appear in a game of Hangman.

Forty-three minutes ticked down to forty-two.

‘X.’

We waited with bated breath. Headband played with her fingers. Pigtails chewed on her lip. An clutched her sunglasses in both hands, her eyes locked on the message before us.

Please... please.

‘Relying on an age-old strategy doesn’t necessarily work.’

A black line appeared beneath the hangman’s head, his new body dangling from the noose.  

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[kikifeliz]

8 TIPS FOR MAKING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCE!

Deciding to become a university student is a huge investment of both time and money. You don't want to start only to have to drop out due to finances or failing grades. You also don't want to finish and find that all you have is a piece of paper with mountains of debt and no job prospects.

The average cost of a 4-year Bachelor's degree is about $36k at a public university, and about $136k at a private university. Google the yearly cost of your school of choice, then multiply by 4. Then add on about 5k for the additional costs of books and travel fees, clothing, and other miscellaneous. Then add on about 10k for the interest that your student loan debt will incur! 😫

The average cost of graduate degrees can vary by school and concentration, but can easily cost over 90k for tuition alone. Student loan debt is not a joke! Invest your time wisely while you're in school so you don't end up regretting your decision and sharecropping your life away in some 9-5 that you hate.

So, here are my tips for making the most of your time as a university student! Whether you're in undergrad or graduate school, I hope this advice helps you! I'm not going to give you the basic "go to every single class" bullshit. While that's undoubtedly good advice, I want to be a bit more practical and dig a little deeper. I think if you're paying for an experience like college, it's obvious that you should attempt to be as immersed in that experience as possible. You're not going to pay for entrance to a water park then stay off the slides and out of the pool, are you? No, you're going to jump in and go on as many rides as possible! At university, you're paying for school, so you need to treat it the same way. If you're paying for a class, obviously you should go as often as you possibly can. So in the hopes that I can be practical without being trite, I'm going to address the finer details of the college experience. From the perspective of a woman who's in the process of finishing her 2nd Master's degree (at an Ivy League school, no less), you can take it or leave it!

1. Update your resume as soon as you commit to a school and give them your deposit.

As soon as you've paid the deposit to the school of your choose and sent back your decision letter, go ahead and update your resume. If you don't have a resume, make one now! There are plenty of templates online you can follow.

Include your new school and anticipated graduation date under the "Education" section. (You can add it to your social media bios too, if you're into that sort of thing.) The truth of the matter is, the moment you pay the deposit to the school, you've paid for the brand name. You might as well start wielding and wearing it ASAP! This will help you as you apply for internships for the summer after high school and during your freshman year of college.

2. Once on campus, join clubs and student associations.

This is super important! So much of college is about networking. Once you graduate and leave campus, your college network can help you find jobs, travel, keep you up to date with learning opportunities/conferences, or even help you settle into to a new city. It's important to make authentic connections with people on campus outside of your immediate friend group, and a great way to do that is through common interest clubs or associations. Attend a programs fair and check your school's websites and message boards to find events.

Once you've decided which clubs you want to join, make sure to introduce yourself to the leadership! By getting to know the club leaders, you can make sure you'll always know what's next for the group so that you can take part and continue to build community.

3. ‪Spend as much time as you can at the library and in other public study spaces on/around campus.‬

Most university libraries will have cafés, help desks, computer labs, and even group study areas. Often it's okay to talk in the group study areas, so you can always take a break from studying and do a bit of socializing when you need to. When you need more privacy or quiet space, it's typically available just a room or a floor away! Bring healthy snacks like carrots and almonds and chocolate-covered espresso beans or raisins to keep you energized and alert.

Studying is obviously an important part of being in college. You don't want to get into the job field without fluency in the language/jargon or requisite content knowledge that is necessary to succeed!

4. Use the "free" time to develop your genuine interests and hobbies.

If you have the time and don't have a ton of responsibility to other people in your family, take advantage of that! You likely won't have a lot of time like that in your life again. Use this period to follow your curiosities and your interests. Make art! Join an intramural sport! Experiment with fashion! Work part-time in a place you never thought you would! The possibilities are endless. As my dad would say, "It's your world, squirrel!" (He's really corny.)

5. Be as discerning as possible with the classes you take - you are paying for each of them, after all!

Take classes that really interest you, with professors you truly want to learn from. Read the class descriptions carefully, and do research on the professors. Try to get professors that have great ratings, multiple publishings in reputable journals, books, and websites, and a good track records of helping students.

Many colleges have core curricula that you must complete to graduate. If the classes in your core don't interest you, see if you can find ways to navigate the system so that there's a silver lining or so you can make the best out of them. Always give it a shot, you may find that you're more interested once you attend than you were by reading the description alone.

Even if the class isn't of interest, the people there probably are - especially if everyone has to take it! Whether that's ensuring you get the best professor that's offered or finding a great group of friends to struggle through it with, get to know the people around you. Maybe you decide to develop a working relationship with the TA by attending office hours and asking questions about how to contextualize the content in a way that's more engaging for you or more aligned with your interests. To do this, just explain your interests or proposed field of study and ask them for examples of how you can transfer the knowledge you're learning in class toward your interest.

Another option is seeing if you can take the class pass/fail. If this is possible and the class isn't aligned with what you feel your true academic interests are, then don't expend too much effort. Attend lecture, pass the class, and devote your time to your other interests. (This is an option only for people who are serious about not failing the class. Make sure you calculate what scores you'll need to pass exams and other requirements like attendance, and hold yourself accountable to these. Do your absolute best on your papers! Taking a class pass/fail is NOT an excuse to slack off or avoid doing your best work, but it may be a way for you to free up some time if you calculate your grades and find that you don't need to do every single assignment to pass.)

6. If you can find a work-study job or start a side hustle *without* jeopardizing your grades, do so!

Again, the student loans are no joke. I avoid taking them if I can, because I hate debt. Of course, this means I occasionally have had to pay tuition out of my own pocket. I held 3 jobs when I was in undergrad and have always had side hustles even while working 9-5. Many of my favorites have included babysitting, tutoring, pet/house sitting, DJing, and party planning. I know a lot of people in grad school who also worked in restaurants or as delivery drivers, as administrative aids in university offices, law offices, and medical practices. Nowadays, a lot of people work as as influencers, photographers, video editors, and models for their side hustles. I always preferred jobs that were lowkey so I could study. My favorite work-study job was at the library! I always got to see my friends and I could read PDF copies of my assignments while I sat at the circulation desk.

7. Find out about scholarships and fellowships that are offered by different departments in your university.

A lot of fellowships and scholarships are only advertised internally by department and school. Spend time on your department's website and stop by the department office every few weeks to make sure you're up to date on the opportunities that are being offered to students. Become a frequent patron of Financial Aid to see what is available through that office as well.

Additionally, feel free to email the department chair/other professors to ask if they know of any fellowships or scholarship opportunities that may come up in the future so you can be prepared. Ask about qualifications for those as well, so you can plan ahead.

Do your research and make sure you qualify for these opportunities! In writing your essays, attend to each point of criteria laid out in the "call for applications." Treat your essay similarly to how you'd apply for the job. Why are you the right person to receive this money? How do you fulfill the criteria that this scholarship is supporting?

8. If you're struggling with your studies, use the resources on campus that you're *already paying for* in order to get back on track.

This includes TA and professor office hours, peer tutors, the writing center (most universities will have offices that can help you structure and edit your essays, etc.).

Join or create study groups by finding a partner in your class to study with, and ask the university librarians (and your advisor!) what other resources/tutoring/study help is available on campus.

A strong foundation in the content knowledge for your field of choice is a necessity once your graduate. My father always told me, "The key to success is uncommon knowledge." I agree with this somewhat, but I really believe it's actually that the key is an uncommon thirst for mastery. You move forward in your career and your personal development by learning and mastering new levels of skill. The more you know and the better you can communicate, the more respected you'll be in your field - which opens the door to further opportunities. Studying (and studying *well*) is imperative during your time at university!

Good luck this year, scholars! Work smarter & always remember, education is the key! We cannot dismantle the master's house with the master's tools//we are the gold we wanna hold! Go forth & make this school year your bitch!

Xoxo,

Kiki

(c) 2019 by Kiki Feliz

[deborahcastellano]

[The Rules of Exile] Rule No. 10 You Don't Get to Be My Last Great Whatever

Queen Catherine of Aragon was sent into exile because she had the nerve to be aging and menopausal.  A popular legend in that particular histo-mythic cycle is that Henry sent her away (sometimes, with Cromwell to do his dirty work for him because that was the kind of stand up guy he's remembered as) without saying good bye.  She was once married to his older brother Arthur in a castle in the wild but Arthur got sweating sickness and died.  They were only married to each other for a short time.  She then had her first encounter with exile where she lived somewhat modestly (again, accounts vary depending on the histo-mythic teller) and supposedly bargained for fish and sold her plate while her dad and her ex father in law dawdled over what to do with her.  Her father was a war monger with a bunch of kids, he had no problem waiting.  Her ex father in law held his country in a tight fist, he had been exiled so many times by his mother (Lady Margaret Beaufort) that he too could wait.  Neither appeared to find this particularly cruel, and neither did a seasoned politico warrior like Lady M.  Like . . .I get stressed out not knowing what's going to happen in a day while still being aware of certain potential outcomes.  I don't know how stressful it is to not know what country you're going to live in and/or who you'll be married to.  Queen Cat's ex father in law drops dead and she is married off to Henry for almost twenty years when she receives the message, u had too many ded babies, lulz.  super soz.  going 2 marry anne bc babies + she is way hot.  she will only put out if i put a ring on it. thx for nearly twenty years of marriage!  Best of luck or whatever.  Or, you know, no message past whatever Cromwell tried to piece together.  Whatever the medieval royal equivalent of dipping out of a pack of cigs was.

She died in exile a little into Queen Anne's reign, with only a few of her ladies and servants.  Sometimes the wheel (of fortune) is in your favor, sometimes it's not.  It was for a long time for Queen Cat, but then she never planned for Queen Anne. Partly because I don't think anyone, even someone who had headed a battle with Scotland like Queen Cat did, could have planned for Queen Anne.

Sometimes, the hardest part of exile is the people we have been exiled from.  Either by our choice or theirs (sometimes both).  Parents, siblings, friends, lovers, spouses, family, whole courts if you are particularly un/lucky and everyone else is either on the other person's side because they tell a better version of your story than you do or you weren't much beloved to begin with or the other person has too much power over the others for them to rise up for you.  Even Mary, Queen of Scots usually couldn't get the North (of England) to rise up for her and she was hella glam and hella Catholic (appealing traits to her target demo).

There is nothing more painful than this part of exile, Sister Queens.  It's too soon for revenge because you will not be thoughtful enough or have the means to plan that properly.  Your heart is a wasteland and everywhere you go, you know everyone knows something about you but you can only guess at what.  During this time often, your position at court has been forfeited, your rank and title is called into question along with your deeds and those still associated with you, your goods are often seized and people now consider if they would like to associate with you because they will be associated with you.  This has ever been the struggle, even in this modern life as (often) landless Queens - at work, in your family life, in your social circles, in your creative life and in your spiritual life.  A boss has turned against you, a break up that causes a fracture in your circles, side choosing over social issues, scandal and gossip that you were involved in.  To bring it down real low (like reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll low), Vicki on Real Housewives of the OC is currently in exile due to her exboyfriend Brooks who was involved in a cancer scandal that she was at the very least, complicit in.  In turn, I'm positive that she was not only exiled from her realty television faux friends, but also likely saw repercussions in her business and in her professional career, at the very least.  Possibly within her family and social groups as well because even though everyone knows reality television isn't particularly real, it's hard to know where that shred of truth in the lie resides.

How do you survive in that trying time when the people in your life are choosing alliances?  How do you survive when a lover has played you false and now is flaunting their new whatever for all the world and you to see?  How do you get through when you have been exiled from your coven?  How do you go on when your coven exiles you?  What do you do when an event or social group that once loved you has turned against you?

A note, to a Sister Queen who has recently felt the sting of exile from an ex-lover:

As you know, my thought process on these kinds of events are filtered through figuring out patterns and lessons and possible and probable outcomes because that's just so my world view.  While I certainly take some time to reflect before moving on, I find that the Universe (with me) is generally like, Here's another whatever you just lost.  Fuck that guy.  So I'm at a point in life where I trust that will happen in a reasonable time frame.  But another core part of me (besides grudgingly trusting in the Universe) is like, Fuck.  You.  You don't get to be my last whatever.  You don't get that kind of power.  You don't get that kind of power over me.  I will replace you because I can replace everything and I will burn everything in the process if I have to.  Every.  Thing.

Obviously, if you know me at all, you know I value those in my life, but I also know that everything has a season blahblahblahturnwhatever.  Everyone could die, everyone could leave, every relationship could break, every event could end, every group could break apart.  So, like, when you know that and you've been through that a few times, you value what you have when you have it but you also have in the back of your head what you would do if you lost those things.

In terms of practical advice, I would suggest you branch out and try to find other events/groups/lovers/friends and to figure out what part you played in your own exile story (as that is a key factor) so you can mend what you can mend and move forward in a better direction with finding new wishes, hopes and dreams.  Talk to trusted advisers for their opinions of the events that led to your exile, figure out a game plan to get yourself back to court or deeper into exile, whatever your preference.  I will forever be Lady Jane Rochford to my complete despair, she managed to get exiled from court during Queen Anne due to being her sister in law (and testified against Anne and her brother George, claiming they were sleeping together, leaving them both beheaded) but when she was offered a position back at court two Queens later, she jumped at the chance and that's how she lost her head right alongside Queen Katherine (yes, another - this one was sixteen and sleeping with boys her own age, how dare she).  I can't stay away from the game, not like Lady Mary did (Anne's sister, Henry's former mistress - she married a nobody and stayed in the countryside where it was safe and died of natural causes and possibly boredom).  I am forever working my way back to court and onto better courts.  If you read me, that's probably you too.

Fine, we have you settled into fixing your situation practically.  Now let's get to the exciting part.  The part that requires sorcery.

A Spell to Reclaim Your Queenship

Items needed:

Myrrh

Charcoal, lit

Fire safe container

Fresh flowers (either picked or bought)

Floral wire

Floral tape

String lights or electric candles

two bowls

Rose quartz crystals

handful of dried lavender

Chalice

Sacred liquid to drink

Salt water

a candle, offerings

Tarot deck

Potential goddesses: Your own goddesses (which include ancestors and spirits, obvi). a historic queen you admire, St. Elizabeth of Portugal, Mary Queen of Heaven, Diana

If you've ever bothered to read my book, you know that planning your ritual is key.  Where will you have it?  Why?  What will you wear?  Why?  What day/time will you do it?  Why?  Who will you work with?  Why?  What does your crown mean to you?  Why?  What flowers are sacred to you?  Why?  What liquid is sacred to you?  Why?  Which Tarot deck will you use?  Why?  There are no wrong answers, only lazy answers.  If you are not being lazy, you are not wrong.  You know when you are being lazy.

Arrange your electric candles or string lights into a circle big enough for you to do your work.  Pour salt water into one bowl.  Arrange the lavender and rose quartz into the other bowl.  Arrange your small shrine to your goddess(es) along with the candle and offering.  Ask for her/their blessing to guide your hand during this work.  Use words that are meaningful to you.  Pour sacred liquid into chalice.  Put the myrrh on the charcoal.  Anoint yourself with the smoke.  Wash your hands, your third eye and the top of your head in the salt water.  Then, say:

I am Queen over my own body.  My body is sacred.  I am Queen over my own spirit.  My spirit is sacred.  I an Queen over my own mind.  My mind is sacred.  I am Queen over my own heart.  My heart is sacred.  I am Queen.  I am sacred.

Start making your floral crown.  If you are like me, you have literally spent more than half your life making them and have taught diy workshops on the matter.  This is no big deal.  If you're not like me, watch the Youtube video in the link and maybe do a practice one first.  Spend the time making your crown singing songs that are meaningful to your Queenship, trancing or meditating on your Queenship.

Rest your crown over the bowl of rose quartz and lavender.  Put your hands on your crown.  Repeat:

I am Queen over my own body.  My body is sacred.  I am Queen over my own spirit.  My spirit is sacred.  I an Queen over my own mind.  My mind is sacred.  I am Queen over my own heart.  My heart is sacred.  I am Queen.  I am sacred.

Touch the crown to your navel, your heart, your throat and your forehead.  Put the crown on your own head.  Repeat:

I am Queen over my own body.  My body is sacred.  I am Queen over my own spirit.  My spirit is sacred.  I an Queen over my own mind.  My mind is sacred.  I am Queen over my own heart.  My heart is sacred.  I am Queen.  I am sacred.

Hold the chalice in your hands.  Focus on what you want to bring to yourself.  As a sacred Queen, I won't want for . . .(love, strength, compassion, abundance, and so forth)

Drink what's in the chalice.  Thank your goddesses for their presence.  Draw a Tarot card.  That is your omen for your work.  Reflect.  Hang your crown over your bed and put the bowl of rose quartz and lavender next to or under your bed.

***

Please feel free to share pictures of your work, thoughts about your work and aftermath of your work where ever you read this.

xxx

[humorcomunista]

Wait so what is actually happening in Venezuela?

SITUATION OF VENEZUELA EXPLAINED

*Note: There’s a short list of acronyms explained at the bottom of the post.

*I would much appreciate if you (anyone reading this) could reblog this post to raise awareness on the matters without the bias of mainstream media. Also, comment me anything inaccurate I could have written, any further information you can contribute or any other questions about the topic.

What’s happening right now as in recent news?

Some (very few) soldiers (some of them weren’t even soldiers) declared themselves in rebellion against the government, to “restore the constitutional order” and claiming that “the peoples shall rebel against the “”tirany”” of President Nicolás Maduro”, following the «Operación David».

Basically, they called for the military, police and civilians to disobey the actual constitutional and democratic order to overthrow it even by violent means, because they consider everyone that supports or doesn’t directly oppose the government and structures of the state “military objectives” that should by fought with “every firepower available”(these are literal words).

These people (around a dozen or so) held a military base in Valencia, Carabobo have been arrested and the base has been taken back by the army loyal to the government, so everything is back to normality for now.

The “rebels” called for other battalions to join them taking up arms against the government, but no one supported the insurrectionists (even if the opposition is saying that they did in some places to spread a false believe that a notable part of the army supports their counter-revolution and try to facilitate a future coup d’état).

What’s happening in the grand scheme of things and why did these people do that?

Well, that’s a complicated question that I’m not able to answer in detail being that I’m not Venezuelan nor I’m well informed in the affairs of the legal system of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela or know their Constitution and recent history, but I’ll try my best.

To understand what’s happening right now, we must head back to the parliamentary elections of 2015.

The opposition (more specifically the MUD, Mesa de la Unidad Democrática) won 112 of the 167 seats of the National Assembly and the chavistas (the GPP coalition, Gran Polo Patriótico Simón Bolivar) won the other 55 seats. This granted MUD a two thirds majority, and even if the loss was democratically accepted by the GPP, the Supreme Court saw evidencies of fraud in the state of Amazonas, that conflicted with the election of three MUD members and a PSUV (Partido Socialista Unido de Venezuela, major chavista party) member.

Because of that, the TS (Tribunal Superior, Supreme Court) declared as invalid the takeover of the seats mentioned before as a temporary measure, until further investigation would be made to solve the issue.

Despite of the TS’s decision, the AN ruled by the opposition didn’t obey the order and continued to take actions as a formed government with the inclusion of the suspended members by possible fraud, which led to any said action to be declared invalid by the TS.

Given that the AN was in contempt (en desacato, not following the law), the TS took over the legislative branch until they accept the court’s action, following the constitution and the laws of the State.

The opposition, whoever, said that this was a “move towards dictatorship” and considered illegitimate the takeover of the AN or any other mesurare by the official powers, which led them to disobeying the State order and so on.

With all this taken into account, having the opposition in constant violence against the State order, President Nicolás Maduro called for the Asamblea Nacional Constituyente (National Constituent Assembly, ANC for short) to reform the country and aiming for peace and stability. This is totally legal as the article 348 of the Constitution of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela says that any of the following can call for the ANC: the President, the AN (not right now because it’s out of power by rule of the TS) with at least two thirds of the votes, at least two thirds of the Municipal Councils (more local-like governments), or at least 15% of the people that can vote.

The goal of the ANC, as the Constitution(articles 347 and 349) states, is the following: given that the people of Venezuela are the trusted with the original constituent power, they have the power to transform the State, create a new juridical order (legal system) and write a new Constitution.

What the citizens of Venezuela decide via the ANC is legitimate because the people have the power in Venezuela (a true factor in favor of the democracy in the country that few places in the world have, by the way), and so it can’t be taken down by the President or any other form of power.

Because the President himself made the call (which is totally legal and constitutional as mentioned before in the article 348) to the ANC, the opposition is nonsensically calling it a coup d’état and not taking it as legitimate, so they oppose any future ruling by it or in favour of making it possible. To show this opposition to the ANC, they (the MUD, the opposition themselves) called for a referendum with the following three questions:

1. Do you oppose and not know about the proposal for the Constituent (ANC) by Nicolás Maduro without the previous approval of the citizens of Venezuela?

2. Do you demand the National Armed Force and to every public worker to obey the Constitution and to back the decisions of the AN?

3. Do you want to elect new public powers and a new “national unity government” to return constitutional order through new elections?

First, let me show why these questions are not valid to begin with, and later I’ll explain why the voting itself was poorly made and not legitimate.

1. As the Constitution states, the President can make the proposal for the ANC, without the approval of any other members, as well as the AN could have made the call without the President, for example.

2. The Armed Force is obeying the constitution and its commander-in-Chief: the President Nicolás Maduro. The AN can’t be backed up by no one because it’s in contempt and not following the law, so it’s powers are transferred to the TC following the Constitution.

3. The Constitutional order is in rule the entire time. The calling for new elections is made by the CNE, as the Constitution states. If the want to revoke any public office member or elect new ones, they could hold a legal and binding referendum, but they didn’t.

Let’s continue with what was done wrong in the referendum of the opposition:

This referendum was unconstitutionally called and so it didn’t have the backing of the Consejo Nacional Electoral (CNE, National Electoral Council). Because of that, the opposition made up entirely the process of the referendum, without the complete and updated electoral census, without the means to validate the results (voting machines and other methods, which, by the way, are very transparent and reliable and few countries have) and without the means to detect electoral fraud at major scale.

Even that, the government let them do their “referendum” and major fraud was made: people were able to vote dozens of times, even with expired IDs or with the IDs of dead or other people (if it was made following the constitution and with the support of the CNE, the would scan the fingerprints and IDs), the voting records were literally burnt in the streets as soon as the voting was finished, which made it impossible to audit the liability of the results.

In summary: this voting lacks any legitimacy.

Following the calling for the ANC, the citizens of Venezuela were called to vote with all the means given by the CNE to verify the correct voting, to chose the 500 members of the assembly. Those 500 members consist of: 79 workers, 28 retired/pensionary people, 24 students, 24 representatives of the communes, 8 farmers and fishermen/fisherwomen, 5 disabled people, 5 businessmen/businesswomen, and 364 other citizens elected by each territory.

So, in June 30th, even if the opposition abstained from voting their representatives or postulating themselves, and despite the violent means, threats, roadblocks, and many other impediments that tried to make people not to vote, millions of Venezuelans took part in a democratic choosing to reconstitute the country’s organisation.

This showed the strength of the Bolivarian Revolution across the country and the overall support for peace and for the legitimate sovereignty of the peoples government, something that the opposition will never be capable of having and so the only mean they have is the coward and mercenary style of U.$. backed paramilitary uprising, which will also be crushed by the courageous revolutionary people of Venezuela.

AN: Asamblea Nacional, National Assembly, parliament of Venezuela.

ANC: Asamblea Nacional Constituyente, National Constituent Assembly, where the peoples power lies in, to reform the country’s structure and Constitution.

CNE: Consejo Nacional Electoral, National Electoral Council, agency that manages electoral affairs.

GPP: Gran Polo Patriótico Simón Bolivar, chavista/bolivarian/left wing party coalition.

ID: Identity document, Cédula de Identidad in the case of Venezuela.

MUD: Mesa de la Unidad Democrática, opposition/center and right wing party coalition.

PSUV: Partido Socialista Unido de Venezuela, major chavista party inside the GPP.

TS: Tribunal Supremo, Supreme Court.

[chanoyu-to-wa]

Nampō Roku, Book 4 (14):  Concerning the Display of Musical Instruments in the Shoin.

14) If the host or [one of the] guests has a passion¹ [for music], a koto [琴]², biwa [琵琶]³, shaku-hachi [尺八]⁴, fue [笛]⁵, or some [other instrument] of that sort⁶ may be displayed on [or beneath] the chigai-dana⁷.

_________________________

¹Ete araba [得手あら��].

    The word ete [得手] means not only technically skilled, but also includes the nuances of motivation and inclination:  ones “strong point.”  The person in question not only can play well, but is devoted to his music, and seeks solace in it -- and is capable of infusing his playing with overtones of his emotions.  The word can sometimes be translated “be in one's element,” and “get the wind in one's sails.”

    It is in this element of passion* that the word differs from jōzu [上手], which means skillful, proficient.

    There is no indication that the interested party would be expected to perform on the instruments that were displayed (though that might be a possibility), but that their presence would inspire a corresponding interest in the instruments themselves:  as will all things displayed in the shoin, any instrument exhibited there would have had to be an exceptional piece, either a venerable antique, or one with special, perhaps historical, associations‡

    While this entry seems to be an authentic part of Jōō's original set of notes (or at least was written by Jōō himself), nothing is said about the display of musical instruments in either the Kun-dai Kan Sa-u Chō Ki [君臺観左右帳記], or the several versions of the O-kazari Ki [御飾記] / O-kazari Sho [御飾書].  This material, then, may derive from conventions that prevailed in the residences of the high court nobility at that time**.

    The same may also be true of several of the other entries that follow this one. __________ *Which, since the Edo period, the Japanese seem to consider the mark of an amateur.

†And so describes the dispassionate professional.  Not, of course, that Jōō and Rikyū were devoid of passion in their practice of chanoyu, but as a result of the convention of people being forced into doing things that they despise (as are many of the tea masters even today) which arose as a result of the special circumstances that prevailed in the Edo period.

‡Instruments of this sort are frequently mentioned in the classics, and this kind of thing would have been common knowledge, and so does not need to be mentioned.

**Many of the participants in the practice of kōdō [香道] were court nobles -- who often had little to do once the reins of government had been usurped by the military class.  And while the Shino family (with whom Jōō seems to have been more closely connected) drew more of their guests from among the wealthy machi-shū of Sakai than from the nobles (who patronized the Sanjō-nishi [三條西] family of incense masters), Jōō would have the opportunity to interact with members of the kuge [公卿] (the hereditary court nobility) during his poetic activities (the antiques displayed in the homes of the impoverished nobles were the prime targets of his acquisitive activities, first on behalf of his customers -- and later, when his finances allowed, for his own collection -- and the pretext of poetry gatherings provided Jōō with entrée to their mansions).

²Koto [琴].

    Often translated “Japanese harp” (on account of its sound quality), or “Japanese zither,” this word names a whole family of musical instruments, which differ in both size and the number of strings with which they are strung.

 ³Biwa [琵琶].

    The biwa is a kind of lute.

⁴Shaku-hachi [尺八].

    This is a variety of bamboo flute, which is held vertically while being played.

    The shaku-hachi was traditionally made from the most dense part of the bamboo clum, cut from near the root, and it is this that accounts for its remarkable, rich tone.

    While both Shibayama Fugen and Tanaka Senshō give the name as shaku-hachi [尺八] as common to all of their sources, the Sadō Ko-ten Zen-shu [茶道古典全集] text, which purportedly replicates the text preserved in the Enkaku-ji manuscript, uses two kanji for this name that are found nowhere else (including in the large, unabridged, Chinese and Japanese dictionaries available on line).  These kanji are shown below*.

    Whether this word was a variant unique to Edo period Japan -- or even a copyist’s mistake -- cannot be said, though such “koku-ji” [国字] (kanji-forms created in Japan) are known, and occasionally have became mainstream (at least in Japanese usage).  I attempted to find a Unicode editor on-line that would allow me to create the kanji so that I could include them here (since I would like the quotations reproduced in this commentary to be as faithful to the Enkaku-ji text as possible), but without success.

    The pronunciation of this compound would presumably be shaku-hachi. ___________ *Adding a take-kammuri [𥫗] to the kanji shaku [尺] and hachi [八] would make it clear that the kanji refer to the name of the instrument, rather than a linear measurement.  That said, context would surely prevent any misunderstanding -- and the fact that the usual kanji are found in every other source strongly suggests that, over the centuries, there has been no misunderstanding whatsoever.

⁵Fue [笛].

    This instrument is more like what Westerners think of when they hear the word flute.  It is made from a length of bamboo with uniform thickness, producing a lighter, refulgent tone.  The range is determined by the length of the bamboo, which is variable.

    The Japanese fue (above) seems to have had seven holes, while the Korean fue (known as the Koma-bue [高麗笛];* below) had only six.  Both varieties had been popular since ancient times.  This seems to be a kind of transverse flute -- one that is held horizontally while playing, as seen in the painting, below.

    The classics indicate that the fue was often the preferred instrument of young men, since it was easily carried on their person, and so ready for an impromptu concert at any time of day or night. ___________ *The name of the Korean flute is also written Koma-bue [狛笛], and koma-bue [駒笛].  While the initial kanji in Koma-bue [狛笛] refers to Korea (specifically the ancient ethnic-Korean kingdom of Koguryeo [高句麗], from whence the prototype of this kind of flute was brought to Japan), that in the second compound should be regarded as a hentai-gana (koma [駒] means a colt, a small horse; possibly the substitution was the result of confusion over the second kanji “句” in the name Koguryeo).

⁶Nado mo [なども].

    Instruments arranged on (or beneath) the chigai-dana must, in the first place, be of a size that allows them to be displayed comfortably.  But, also, there must be a reason for displaying them, and this is something that the wording of this entry might seem to obscure (since it is not just a matter of the host, or one of the guests -- by implication, the shōkyaku, since it is for him that the gathering was arranged -- having an interest in music).

    Commonplace objects should never be displayed in the shoin, simply for the sake of having something to arrange in that setting.  Rather -- and this is true not only for the shoin, but for every kind of room used for chanoyu -- the host must always have a reason for deciding to display them.  And this does not necessarily mean that they must be costly antiques.  But there should be a reason for everything that the host chooses to do -- nothing should be done in a perfunctory, or seemingly off-handed, way.

    This is the lesson that we should learn from the Mozuno ko-yashiki:  when the host has no particular reason for displaying something, then it is best not to display it.  In this case, the utensils necessary for the service of tea should be brought out at the beginning of the temae, and taken away again at the end.  The mizuya-dōko, which Rikyū created for that tiny tearoom, helped to facilitate this process.  But it was the maturation of his reasoning that inspired the creation of the mizuya-dōko, not the other way around.

⁷Chigai-dana ni kazaru nari [違棚にかざる也].

     Instruments that were of large size -- the koto and biwa, for example -- would have to be displayed below the chigai-dana*.  Small-sized instruments, such as the flutes, could be displayed on one of the staggered shelves. ___________ *Indeed, the size of these things meant that they could only be displayed in a room where the alcove for the chigai-dana was 1-ken [一間] (6-shaku or approximately 182 cm) wide.

    During the Edo period, a style of tokonoma termed the biwa-toko [琵琶床] (below) made its appearance.  This arrangement basically removes the chigai-dana, so that the focus is directed to the display area for a biwa (which formerly was beneath the staggered shelves).

    The shelf on the right side of this kind of toko is often (incorrectly) interpreted as being a tsuke-shoin.  it is, in fact, a biwa-dana [琵琶棚] (or, biwa-dai [琵琶臺, 琵琶台]).  A tsuke-shoin would be narrower (rarely extending more than 1-shaku 5-sun from the window which forms the outer wall), while the biwa-dana is square, as can be seen in the above photo.

    In this photo, a kanshō [喚鐘] is shown suspended above the biwa-dana, but this might be objectionable (I hesitate to say “wrong” when this kind of thing has been done in every instance of a biwa-dana that I have seen in modern Japan -- at least in cases where the shoin is used for chanoyu), since it shows that the biwa-dana has been interpreted as a tsuke-shoin.  (In the case of an actual tsuke-shoin, there must be a pillar on the right where the shumoku [撞木] -- the wooden hammer for striking the kanshō -- can be suspended; but no provision for the shumoku is made when the shelf is a biwa-dana.  In the photo, the shumoku has been hung on the pillar projecting from the wall at the rear of the tokonoma, but since the shumoku is held in the right hand, this is problematic -- and suggests an attempt that was made to redress an oversight.)

    This kind of thing is, unfortunately, common in the modern tea world.

[ecotone99]

[RF] The Shopping List

"Hello Serge, do you wish to go shopping?"

The man asking was a friend from high school. I knew him well. I knew what color he liked his items to be. I knew he didn't like to wait in line. He was an impulse shopper. He liked to buy things that spoke to him. He did not like to talk. "No, not for now Geralt. I shall just sleep for I am too tired from the shopping."

"Ah yes, no problems. I shall prepare my coupons for tomorrow. Have a good rest."

Geralt left the squat apartment barely big enough to fit Serge's bed, a kitchenette, and a bathroom. In every corner were boxes. Some opened, some unopened. Serge sighed and sat upon the bed turning to the monitor hung on the wall.

"In the news tonight. Shopping, are you doing enough? We speak to several economists to determine if the people of Americazia are buying enough things." The monitor droned on as I nodded off to sleep. I was not interested in shopping, only dreams.

I dreamt of a place where a person is not held accountable for the safety of his peers. In this place a person could work, often with their hands, to create things no one else did. Ah, how I think of this place. To make things again. Real things. Things that matter that you can hold in your hand and say, "why yes, this is a thing". You could show people your thing and they would say "Oh but I could never make such a thing", and it would be true for they could not without great effort.

In the morning Geralt picks me up for work. When it is time for work not shopping you must always be aware of people. I must wear the work suit, which is not comfortable and makes you look like a worker. I dislike it very much but it is a good suit for doing work I guess. It is made by the store. Everything is made by the store. After work we will go to the store to go shopping.

This day at work was different. Upper management was here. This was always a bad news. Worse even, they brought security. Someone would be evicted. This was not good. When you are evicted you cannot go shopping. Everyone needs to go shopping so those who are evicted must rely on the store. They are sent to the factory where they cannot leave and must make things for the store.

"Who did this? Who made this thing?" Everyone looked away. No one dared even look at the thing that was made. We didn't want to get any ideas. The man yelling was the district manager. He manages the whole district of workers like me. We clean things. There are many of us. In fact, most workers clean things. It is necessary for shopping. We stood there in our work suits worrying that we may not get a chance to work. If we can't work, we can't go shopping.

"It was me. I made the thing." The woman who stood up was not in a work suit. She was our boss Amy. Amy was nice. She let us go shopping on our phones on break and would not write us up if we took off the work suit for a moment to get fresh air.

"You made this thing? You had better have a good reason." The man snarled and held the item high as security shook their fists at it.

"No, I just really wanted to make it. I know it is not allowed. I do not care."

"Insolence. Evict her at once." Everyone stood in silence as they dragged her away. She screamed for us to help her. To come to her aid becase she knew that many of us had seen the thing she made and had thought it was a good thing. We all just wanted to go shopping at that moment, that, and to not get evicted.

"I can't believe you. Why would you do this? You knew it was coming and you just are going to watch them take me. These are OUR STREETS! THIS IS OUR CITY!" No one responded. Amy struggled and slipped out of the grip of one of the security officers. She grabbed at his waist but before she could lay a hand on his gun the second officer fired every round in his gun into her and reloaded.

"Please go back to work. For your obedience everyone will gain 500 extra shopper points if they go to the store today". Everyone started murmuring amongs themselves and went to work. Our new boss introduced himself to us later that day. The new boss was not nice like Amy.

I could not let what happened to Amy go. I found a shopping pad and a pencil and began to write my thoughts. This was something that I had done for a little while, but hadn't put that much effort into. However, I felt like now might be the time to take it seriously.

"What do you think Serge? Do you think this is good for me to buy?" Geralt held a shirt up in front of him. It looked like a thousand shirts I had seen before.

"Yes Geralt. It is good. It is your color. This means it is good. Do you have your coupon?"

"Ah, you know I have coupons, but I will need to buy more to use them."

"Yes, let us go shopping Geralt."

Shopping was more fun than working. In fact, shopping was the most fun. Unlike those things like the savages of old used to do. Those things may have been fun, but honestly just seems scary. I am glad that they made those things illegal. They would have large gatherings without their breathing masks. Sometimes they would touch each other, or their faces. Sometimes they would be in large groups together listening to people talk about things they made and their ideas. I think of those times and I just get worried. How could they do that without being afraid? Don't they know they could hurt someone?

Still, even though I was afraid. I wrote on. I knew that I could do something. Maybe I could make a thing that could help people. Not like a real thing like Amy. That's too risky. It would need to be subtle. Like words. In case someone finds out I could say that it is actually just my shopping list. After a few months in secret I felt like it was done. I had to show someone.

"Geralt, I bought a thing the other day and I wanted you to see it."

"Serge, I love it when people buy me things! That's my second favorite thing!"

"Oh? What is your first favorite comrade?"

"Haha, shopping of course!"

I showed my story to Serge and he seemed confused. "You bought this thing?"

"Yes", I replied. "I bought this thing. It was uh... It is notes from a shopping tutorial."

"Ah yes, I have watched these to know what to buy." Geralt took a moment to read it. His facial expression went from playful to deadly serious. I watched him attempt to process the words I had placed on the paper. "Serge..." he said softly. "Serge, this is amazing. Where did you buy it? Are there more? I must have it."

It was not long before Geralt had shown everyone the thing that I 'bought'. Soon everyone too was asking where they could buy such things. I said I know where it is in the store, but it is very far and you would not want to travel this distance. They agreed and soon I was selling my things to them. It was great. With the extra money I went to the better part of the store where usually it is too expensive for me.

However, the more they wanted to buy, the more I had to write. Soon it became too much and I had to stop going out to shop as much. Geralt became concerned as to why I wasn't shopping and I said I was not feeling good. This was a mistake as he immediately notified the boss who put me onto quarantine. While in quarantine my coworkers tried to seek out the store from which I bought the things, and soon it was found that there were no such things to buy.

I was in quarantine when they took me. The people on the monitors yelled "Look at him, he wants to murder everyone!" They showed pictures of me without my shopping mask. This is illegal, but the picture was not taken while I was shopping. They said that I had been seen without the mask. "This is a menace to society. He doesn't want you to shop. He doesn't want you to be safe. He wants to hurt you and poison you with the things he made."

The factory was terrible. It reminded me of my apartment in a way, but everything was from the discount stores. These stores only had items which the other stores did not want. There were still many items to choose from, so you could still spend your time shopping when not at work. However in the discount stores all the items were cheap and would break easily. Usually in different ways. So everyone in the factory had things which would only work sometimes and they had to go shopping even more when they broke. At least in the other stores you could look at the nice things and see how they worked. I slept uncomfortably that night and spent most of it lying on my discount bed looking at my discount monitor.

I thought I would never see nice things again. Everyone knows all the nice things are at the nice stores but here in the factory we only have the discount stores. I was very sad until the next day. Amy came to visit me. I did not expect to be sent to the same factory as her, because it was very rare as there are many.

"I heard about the things you made. We have some here. People have been copying them and sharing it." She smiled. I could not believe it. She liked my story? The thing I made? People were copying it? Risking death here in the factory over some words? "Here, I made you this." She handed me something small in a hand-knit cloth.

I unwrapped the cloth and looked at what was inside. In my hands was a stick of charcoal, carved into a pencil and a roll of receipt paper. "You made this... for me?"

"Yes", she said. "I want to know how it ends."

submitted by /u/Tebbo [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Zkk2uW

[mayarosa47]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah

is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

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from https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah - Blog http://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.weebly.com/blog/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah

[michaeljames1221]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C <span itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah https://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.wordpress.com/2020/02/09/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

[gonnagoandrunwiththehorses]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah

is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

[aretia]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C <span itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

[asafeatherwould]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C <span itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

[melissawalker01]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah

is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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Criminal Lawyer Sandy Utah

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/190732755180

[advertphoto]

Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C <span itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/

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Family Lawyer Salt Lake City Utah

Salt Lake City Utah

is a great place to live with your family. If you are considering adopting a child, speak to an experienced family lawyer in Salt Lake City Utah.

Before a child can be adopted into a new family, the rights of the child’s birth parents must be totally and irrevocably terminated. As a result, thousands of children every year are affected by the legal process of terminating parental rights. In many cases of infant adoption, a birth mother and birth father voluntarily relinquish their rights over a child–a process that they may agree to months before their child is born. In other cases of infant adoption, and often when an older child is adopted, parental rights are terminated involuntarily as a result of a judicial determination that the birth parents are unable to provide adequate parenting. Consequently, every adoption is preceded by a termination, and public policy on adoption is always entangled in legal proceedings regarding the termination of parental rights.

The involuntary termination of parental rights is a striking example of the ways in which the needs, rights, and obligations of parents, families, children, and the state can come into conflict. Many of these cases are the result of situations in which parents have chronically or severely maltreated their children. When parental maltreatment threatens the well-being of a child, the state’s interest in preserving and strengthening families can conflict with its interest in protecting children and providing them with the opportunity to develop in a healthy way. Parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit can conflict with laws placing limits on parents’ actions and with laws mandating removal of children from their homes when it appears that their right to a reasonably safe existence is being threatened. Children’s need to remain connected to their parents and siblings may conflict with their need to be raised by parents who can provide an adequate environment for their development. When a child is identified as neglected or maltreated, agents of the state (typically a department of social services and/or a family court) must initially decide whether it is safe to leave the child in the home and work to rehabilitate the family by providing services or whether it is in the child’s best interest to place the child in temporary foster care until such a time as it is safe to return the child to the home. They must later decide whether children who have been temporarily placed in foster care should be returned home, remain in temporary care, or be placed in a permanent adoptive home. There are some situations in which timely rehabilitation of a birth family is likely, such as when a young mother neglects the needs of her child because of a lack of knowledge of child development.

Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA)

In response to the continuing escalation of the foster care problem during the 1990s, the U. S. Congress passed the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) in 1997. One of the primary purposes of ASFA was to correct many of the deficiencies of its predecessor regarding the termination of parental rights. The AACWA’s requirement that states use extensive and diligent efforts to rehabilitate the parents and preserve the family was criticized as going too far to ensure family preservation. ASFA clarified the reasonable efforts requirement and stated that child safety was paramount in all foster-care decisions. In effect, ASFA tightened two important time lines for children in foster care: those regarding the state’s development of a plan for the permanent placement of the child and those regarding the termination of parental rights. The ASFA requires that a permanency hearing (a court hearing presided over by a family court judge that reviews a child’s temporary status and permanency goals) be held within 12 months of the child’s entering foster care. It also requires that the state file or join a petition to terminate the parent’s rights over any child if the child has been in foster care for 15 of the 22 most recent months, unless a relative taking care of the child or there is a compelling reason as to why termination would not be in the best interests of the child. Although the ASFA remedied some of the more glaring deficiencies in the AACWA, it has drawn sharp criticism.

Of particular concern is the provision that requires states to seek the termination of parental rights, with few exceptions, in the case of any child who has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months. Opponents of the ASFA hold that it may terminate the rights of parents who could eventually provide a stable home, and that it fails to take account of the fact that adoptive families might not be available for children whose parents’ rights have been terminated – thus putting children in the position of having no legally recognized parents.

In summary, many competing rights and interests must be considered in most cases involving the termination of parental rights. Over the years, our society has struggled to find the correct balance between these competing rights, and this process continues today.

Termination of Parental Rights

If you are seeking termination of parental rights, consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer today. The termination of parental rights is one of the most momentous procedures in the U. S. legal system. In part this is because of the fundamental right, in our society, of families to be free from state interference and the right of parents to raise their children as they see fit. Termination of parental rights strikes at one of the core legal and social values of our society. Termination is also important because it is irreversible, barring a finding that fraud occurred during the termination. Termination of parental rights effectively severs a birth parent’s rights over his or her child and places the child under the legal guardianship of the state. Whereas custody determinations can be reviewed periodically, by law a parent whose rights have been terminated can never apply to a court to have those rights restored.

Termination of parental rights is a relatively rare occurrence for children in foster care. The overwhelming majority of children who are removed from their homes for reasons of abuse or neglect are eventually reunited with their birth families.

Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights

Parents can have their rights voluntarily terminated in a legal proceeding. This typically happens when parents have decided voluntarily to relinquish their child for adoption. Voluntary terminations are most common in the adoption of infants. However, in some cases involving the abuse or neglect of children by their parents, the parents may agree voluntarily to relinquish their rights as part of a bargain with a district attorney or a department of child and family services (DCFS).

All voluntary terminations must be made freely by a parent, and most state laws prohibit the child’s mother or father from being coerced or tricked into terminating their rights. Further, parents must fully understand what it is that they are relinquishing for the decision to be made freely. The majority of states do not allow a mother to relinquish rights to her infant until after the birth of the child, and the other states allow for revocation of consent given before the child’s birth for a time shortly after the birth. These laws are based on the belief that the mother will not fully understand what it means to relinquish the rights to her child until after she has given birth. Despite the legal expectations, some evidence suggests that some birth mothers do experience feelings of coercion and indecision regarding the relinquishment of their child. Birth fathers, including unwed fathers, have rights similar to those of birth mothers in termination proceedings. Efforts must be made to locate a father who is not aware of the birth of his child so that he can choose whether to terminate his rights. In addition, efforts must be made to identify the father if the mother is unwilling or unable to identify him. However, a father who knows of the existence of his child and who has made no effort to participate in the child’s life may be considered to have abandoned or neglected the child, thus permitting termination of his rights.

When all parties agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights, few conflicts between parents, children, and the state arise. Parents who cannot or who prefer not to raise a child are relieved of that responsibility; the child, it is hoped, will be placed in a loving home; and the state’s interest in promoting child development and family life is maintained. One area in which conflict has emerged involves situations in which adoptive parents have changed previous agreements with birth parents or other birth relatives regarding visitation once an adoption has been finalized.

Involuntary Terminations

Involuntary terminations involve the state, usually through a department of social services, petitioning a court to have a parent’s rights terminated against the parent’s wishes. Most of these cases involve children who have been removed from their parents because of chronic or severe abuse or neglect. Termination of parental rights is undertaken because the department believes that the parents will not be able to provide adequate care for their child.

Cases involving the termination of parental rights are often difficult to decide because of the legal conflicts they involve. Termination cases challenge the fundamental right of parents to be free of state interference in raising their children and the fundamental right of family and individual privacy. Balanced against these rights is the right of children to be raised in a family atmosphere that will allow them to develop in a healthy way. When the state initiates termination proceedings against a parent, the state is taking the stand that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing is impossible to attain in the child’s current family and that the child’s right to a healthy upbringing supersedes the parent’s rights to family and individual privacy. Conversely, if the state decides not to terminate birth parents’ rights in cases of abuse or neglect, the state reaffirms the importance of parents’ right to raise their children and/or implies that it would be in the child’s best interest to remain with his or her birth parents, even if time in a foster family is required to provide the birth parents with the chance to improve their parenting abilities. Legal proceedings to terminate parents’ rights over their children often pit the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state against each other.

In our society, parents have the fundamental right to raise their children as they see fit, with no governmental interference, children have the right to a healthy upbringing, and the state has interests in maintaining family privacy and ensuring that its children are raised in a healthy way. Laws to balance these rights have changed over the past years. Laws making it relatively easy for the state to remove a child from his or her birth parents were superseded by laws making permanent removal much more difficult, and those laws, in turn, have been superseded by recent laws making termination easier to accomplish in a shorter period of time. The difficulty of balancing the rights of parents, children, and the state is clearly shown in these changing laws – as is society’s changing beliefs about the relative importance of parents’ and children’s rights when these come into conflict. Ongoing changes in these laws and the way they are used by the courts and social work agencies are likely to continue as our society continues to struggle to arrive at a good balance between the rights and responsibilities of parents, children, and the state.

Adopting a child is a great experience. However all the legal formalities and requirements must be complied with. Make sure that the birth parents of the child have waived their parental rights. If not, there could be problems later. Always consult an experienced Salt Lake City Utah family lawyer before you start the adoption process.

Salt Lake City Utah Family Law Attorney Free Consultation

When you need a family law attorney in Salt Lake City Utah, please call Ascent Law LLC (801) 676-5506 for your Free Consultation. We can help you with Divorce. Child Custody. Adoptions. Termination of Rights. Child Support. Alimony. Guardianships. Conservatorships. Estate Planning. Asset Protection. And Much More. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C itemprop=”addressLocality”>West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/family-lawyer-salt-lake-city-utah/