#i have so many good threads i want to keep going but i'm so impossibly slow and it's just akjshfsdjkgh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pumpkinbxtch · 8 months ago

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ok ok I know this is kinda random but I am a HUGE Octavian simp for literally no reason but honestly? I trust you to see this ask and do with it what you will <3

Octavian is My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 100000000% he stole my tortured heart for no reason he's just an annoying lil guy

Can you do an Octavian x Daughter of Poseidon/Neptune!reader where they have a kinda off/on relationship? Totally ok if you don't want to though! I love your writing!

f.u.

— octavian x daughter of neptune

☆radiostar is playin': f.u. — little mix…!

warnings; angst, off-on realtionship, (more) mean octavian, language, octavian himself is a warning (lol) a/n; yep, absolutely, Octavian is annoying really, I HATE HIM but as my mother taylor said: it's the worst men i write the best. I've never said it but I love writing angst, bro someone commit me to the psychiatric. Anyway, THANKS, hope you like this. Love, María

—I swear I'm going to drown you in your sleep!— Each word made you grip the glass tighter until Octavian could hear the material creaking, on the verge of breaking. His eyes focused nervously on the glass, but all you got out of him was a defiant hum.

—Come on...— His gaze was as empty as the promises he always made, yet you felt his warm hand wrap around your wrist, forcing you to release the glass. He gently shook your hand twice until the glass fell into his free hand. You thought it was an act of consideration for your well-being until he smashed it on the floor himself.

That was him, always showing a vulnerable side only to shatter any sign of it later. He smirked mockingly.

— You’d never do that to me.— That arrogant glint in his eyes made your stomach turn.

He was a bastard.

Disgusting.

You hated him.

You were done.

But by standing still, you proved him right, and he finally let go, heading to the kitchen. His casual footsteps echoed in the dimly lit apartment, illuminated by nearly spent candles 'cause you had been waiting for hours, cooked your best, dressed nice for him, and Octavian just decided to make you wait for four hours.

When he returned, you were still in the same spot. He didn’t even bother to look at you because sweeping up the glass shards seemed more important than picking up your broken heart. He had hurt it too many times for it to matter anymore so yes, maybe the shattered glass was more urgent to clean up.

You watched him pick up the larger pieces with his hands, and then you saw it on the collar of his shirt, something small but enough to explain why he had been so late. A lipstick stain jumped out at you, mocking you.

— was that — you murmured. He sighed heavily, knowing exactly what you meant. It drove you crazy that he didn’t even try to hide it anymore.

—So? — he asked dryly, tossing the shards into a plastic bag to keep them from mixing with the regular trash. He thought that would keep you from getting hurt, how ironic.

You stayed silent, glaring at him with knitted brows. Tears of hatred started to well up, causing an effect only you could have on him, the reason you stayed in this on-again, off-again relationship: his self-pity and subsequent regret.

But even though you could make him feel something almost impossible for him, it was too weak against his ways because he still didn’t apologize; he just kept cleaning.

If you were realistic, you weren’t in a position to demand answers. The state of your relationship was as uncertain as ever, unstable. You didn’t even know what you were to each other at that moment, but you were too scared to say it out loud and break the thread. So you just sat there, watching him finish.

And as you did, you couldn’t remember the last time you laughed together or shared a good moment without fearing breaking the relationship. Where had the good times gone? You let out a sob and didn’t realize you were about to cry like a baby until that moment.

Octavian’s sickly blue eyes looked at you, but you were too deep in your sorrow to care even if he stayed or left. He sighed and sat beside you, only by taking a seat at the table did he become aware of what he had left behind: a cold lasagna, melted candles, and two empty plates. The perfect scene of something very messed up, turning a genuine act of love upside down. You were like the sun to him, illuminating him when he should have been the one doing it.

His long hands slid across the table to stroke your arm, and he began to murmur nonsense, the same things as always because that’s how he fixed things. You shook your head, hiding your face in your hands, fighting the sobs.

— Come on, baby— he insisted, and you kept shaking your head like a hurt child. — I didn’t mean to... You know you’re the only one.

You heard the chair scrape as he moved closer, one hand wrapping around your waist.

— Get out.

He shook his head, insistently kissing your shoulder and nuzzling your cheek, trying to get you to look at him like he was the stray, wounded dog.

— Please, can we talk?

— We’ve talked enough — your voice trembling, making a hollow form in his heart. He was surprised to realize he had one, and for your bad luck, it beat for you.

He leaned in and kissed your neck gently. That was dangerous, and you knew it, but you didn’t pull away.

—I was an idiot — he murmured, leaving a trail of kisses up to your jawline, where his lips tasted salty from your tears.

He moved your hands away from your face, you no longer resisting much. It was the first time he looked at your face since he arrived, and with that gaze of his, something in those cold eyes gave you enough warmth to keep looking at them. It wasn’t ideal, but it was just enough.

He tried to smile, but it came like a smirk. He kissed you, and you let him. His lips melded with yours as more tears fell, just like you had fallen again into his game.

— Things will be different — he murmured, not stopping the kisses or the hair-stroking that kept you dazed. He tightened his grip on your waist, slowly pulling you into his lap. —Things will work between us.

Empty promises with sweet affection. His hand moved to the edge of your dress, playing with the fabric near your knees. Your hand on his shoulder as you kept kissing slowly, or you might truly break.

You had lost count of how many times those words came from his mouth, how many times you had reconciled this way, but your desire for it to be true never diminished, only grew. You wanted to believe him this time, like all the times before, but he knew the truth and was too cowardly to admit it, to accept it because he had seen the future: You weren’t his, but he resisted letting you go.

No matter if it only broke you more, if you stopped being you, if he stopped being him.

You had to leave first, and what he didn’t know was that the next morning, after one last kiss, you would.

#maría's shared dreams☆｡ﾟ✧#octavian pjo #octavian x reader #octavian pjo x reader #octavian hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #pjo

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kayr0ss · 19 days ago

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Stay Young, Go Dancing [Sulemio fanfic] part 1 (of 2)

[Gundam: The Witch from Mercury / GWitch, Sulemio, Fluff & Humor, post-canon, married, slice of life, seasons] AO3 Link

Summary: A glimpse into their life together through every season of the year.

It was snowing.

It's the first thing Suletta noticed when she woke up, how the tree outside their window was covered in white. It had been days of ice and miserable fog, dreary and unforgiving in its chill, but overnight the weather had finally livened up with a healthy dusting of snow.

They had plans today. Errands to run, places to be. But the thought of getting up from under the warmth of their thick duvet felt like an impossibility. Even more so when she felt Miorine—barely awake, almost purely on instinct—turn on her side to hold her close.

"It's cold." Suletta shivered into their covers. She didn't get more than a soft hum from behind her. She could feel arms, gentle and small, tightening around her waist. Suletta curled up into herself, willing the warmth to stay a little while longer, smiling at the way Miorine had thrown her legs over her own in effort to keep her covered. Suletta always liked it—always thought it was sweet—how Miorine would make herself as big as she could possibly be when they woke up cold. She would reach out with her limbs stretched over Suletta’s much longer ones, a commendable attempt to keep her cozy. On winter mornings like this Suletta didn’t need to tell her anything: Miorine already knew. The chill would seep into her bones, plant and ache in her joints. A gentle, warm, touch always made it better.

"How do you feel this morning?"

It's mumbled against her shoulder, slurred and thick with drowsiness. Suletta grabbed one of Miorine's hands to take into her own.

"Not so bad," Suletta replied. Miorine hummed her approval. It was true! This winter felt better than the last—kinder to her body. She thinks they could finally do it this year: downtown strolls on a snowy evening, hot chocolate after visiting too many shops. It made her giddy with excitement, enough to make her turn over. After a little bit of shuffling and a tangle of sheets, she was finally facing her wife. She felt Miorine's hands snake up underneath her shirt, gently tracing shapes along her back.

Miorine looked up at her. She looked just as cold as she was. "What are the chances I can convince you to stay in bed this morning?"

"Pretty big," Suletta admitted, threading her fingers along the wispy strands of hair along the back of Miorine's neck. "Um... I kind of don't want to get up from under this blanket."

"That's the best idea you've ever had."

Suletta grinned. "Not marrying you?"

"No." Miorine shook her head, pulling her closer again. "That was my idea."

Suletta laughed, burying her nose into Miorine's hair. "I think we should still go out today, like we planned."

"Hm." Miorine pulled back to look at her, eyes searching. The mess of her hair when she's just woken up always made Suletta smile a little, so did the way she furrowed her eyebrows in concern. "Don't push yourself."

"I'll be fine," Suletta promised. "Though I—I know it's cold out. It makes it hard to walk, so I think I'd like to use the chair today."

Miorine was quiet for a minute. She shuffled upwards—with no small effort—and planted a soft, lingering kiss to Suletta's forehead. "Okay." She kissed her there again, quicker. "But I'm not letting you steal my coat if you get too cold."

(She would.)

Suletta laughed into Miorine's neck, drawing her arms loosely around her. "Deal."

"I'll hold you to that." She could hear the smile in her wife's voice. "Good morning, Suletta."

They have a day out with Eri.

Suletta's glad to have dragged Miorine from their bedroom, because it's rare for them to have a whole weekend without papers to grade, or three meetings to catch, or another slew of doctor's appointments to make. And what a beautiful weekend it was! The little plaza at the center of their small town had a sizable crowd milling about. They visited a shop (or five), and in the span of three hours Suletta's had two cups of hot chocolate. Miorine had set her foot down and said 'no' when Eri tried convincing her to get a third.

She didn't want to push Miorine too much, though. She could tell that being outside so long around so many people was beginning to wear at her energy. By the late afternoon, Suletta suggested that they head home.

Much to Suletta's surprise, Miorine wasn’t ready to go just yet. She needed to pass by the hobby store.

They split up once they entered the store, with Suletta intending to top up on supplies for her kids at the school. Had she known they'd stop by today, she would have prepared a list! She's pretty sure they needed more colored paper, and a few fresh boxes of crayons. She wheeled herself through the maze of shelves, aisle after aisle, mirthfully greeting an attendant who knew her by now. But before she could make it to the stationery section, she heard the tell-tale cadence of her wife's voice when she was upset at something. Or someone. Specifically, her sister. Suletta wheeled herself to a stop, finding Miorine agonizing over something in the sewing supplies section. She was holding Eri up, her brows pulled together in a frown.

"I don't understand." Miorine grumbled. "Aren't they all just the same?"

"Obviously, not? They literally have labels that tell you how they're different!"

"How complicated can pushing thread from one side of a piece of cloth to the other get?"

"Very complicated!" The irritated blinking of Eri's eyes made Suletta snicker. "Machine sewing needles and hand sewing needles are worlds apart! And then there's interlock, ball point, quilting—"

"Okay, smartass, if you know so much then why don't you pick which one to get?" She was starting to shake Eri.

"Cause I can barely see! You keep shaking me!"

Okay! Suletta laughed nervously. It was time to play referee. She turned fully into the aisle and pushed herself forward, finally noticing that Miorine and Eri had a cart. There were several bolts of cloth—all very bright and in different patterns. There were also rulers, a cutting mat, a rotary cutter, and an assortment of pins and markers and thread. Suletta stared wide-eyed at her wife.

"Miorine?"

"Oh." She finally stopped shaking Eri. "You're here."

She did her best not to sound so surprised, but: “You’re picking up sewing as a hobby?”

Eri burst out laughing. "No way. After today I'm convinced she doesn't even know where a thimble goes."

“Keep talking, Ericht.” Miorine deadpanned. “At least I have thumbs.”

Ericht said something that would have made Suletta soap her mouth, but she relented, still thoroughly intrigued by the assortment of supplies in Miorine’s cart.

“Right." Miorine scratched at the back of her head. "I tried looking into what supplies someone would need to start getting into quilting. I remembered your mother mentioned she might want to try it, and that Ericht wanted to help her. It would give her something to do through the winter." She looked back towards the needles, frowning. "I guess I should get the ones that say they're for quilting, then. Oh." She snapped her fingers, remembering something. "Suletta? Should I get her a pattern book too? But Ericht said she'd design them, so maybe—"

See, any other day Suletta would have been happy to watch her talk and talk away. But today she needed to kiss her. She took Miorine’s hand, tugging down with urgency, her other hand reaching to bundle up her perfectly-pressed collar and pull her down for a kiss. Miorine, surprised but not unwilling, braced herself against the armrests of Suletta’s wheelchair, keeping herself steady lest she fall over onto her. It was always nice to kiss her. It always made Suletta happy that this was something she got to do now. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thinks she could hear Eri complaining, but neither she nor Miorine seemed to have the will to care. Suletta pulled back, smiling, but Miorine had chased her forward to brush their lips one more time, light and fleeting. She always did this. With Miorine, kisses always came in twos. One was never enough for her—and Suletta loved it.

"Um," Miorine started in a small, confused voice, still propped up against the armrests and very, very close. "Thank you?"

Suletta started blushing profusely, only now realizing exactly what she had done. They were in the middle of—sewing supplies! At the store! She released Miorine and flailed about on her chair. "S-sorry!"

"You're sorry?" Miorine, still red in the ears, huffed a laugh through her nose.

"Well not really, but—" She didn't know how to say it: how something had gripped her so strongly in that moment that she simply couldn’t help herself. Miorine always found a way to make her feel this way: a wonderful feeling that left her a little out of breath. She was kinder than she would ever believe herself to be, loving in a way that Suletta could never have imagined.

She took one of Miorine’s hands and smiled.

"Thank you for taking the time to take us out today.” Suletta brushed her fingertips along Miorine’s arms. “And remembering all this, for mom.”

“Of course.”

Suletta grinned. “And being patient with Eri?”

“I wouldn’t thank me for that just yet.”

Suletta realized—as early as their first year together—that in a different way, winter was hard on Miorine too. She doesn't know why it happened—maybe it was because of how much earlier the darkness crept in, or the way their gardens slept dormant and empty. Maybe it was the bleak landscape, missing all the colors that had infatuated Miorine during summer and fall. She thought that this year Miorine would finally make it to spring without it happening: that the old wounds she couldn't kiss away were slowly closing. It's okay if they haven't, though. She'll hold her through it just the same, every year, every time she needed to.

So when Miorine woke up with a start—sudden enough to have roused Suletta from her own sleep—Suletta already knew to open her arms, to let Miorine crawl closer towards her.

She let her trace out the shape of her veins—from her fingertips, up her arm, up along the faded scars on her cheeks, down her neck, until she stopped with her palm pressed against her heart. Suletta whispered to her softly, pulling her back to here-and-now. Her hands were shaking. She leaned into Suletta's shoulder, her breathing still shallow from waking up so suddenly.

"You're here."

She whispered it against Suletta's skin, close enough to taste the salt of it.

"I'm not going away," She held her close, curling up around her when she started feeling Miorine's breath hitch. "I'm not going away anymore."

"I remember it, and I—"

"I know," Suletta shushes her.

(Suletta wonders if it's the silence. The fact that in the winter the crickets stop singing, that the night doesn't rattle. It's silent, and quiet, and eerily similar to the deafening emptiness of floating in space, waiting for a sound—an answer.)

"I get so scared."

It made Suletta's heart ache. She wishes she could make it go away, wishes that it was something she could fight. But all she can do is hold her, and somehow, for some reason... It works. Miorine's hands come back. They resume their task of feeling out the shape of her face, the softness of her hair, the contours of her shoulders. Miorine looks at her with a deep longing that has no place in a home as loving as theirs. Her hands finally stop trembling when she sees the bright color of Suletta's eyes. Her breathing evens out.

"Hey there," Suletta smiles at her slowly, her hands coming to hold her face carefully.

Somehow, it's enough, and she relaxes again.

II.

Miorine was trying her best to stay focused. She was trying really, really hard. But it had been meeting after meeting for almost three days in a row now and she was just about done. She kept looking out of her office window, noticing how the trees were beginning to sprout fresh leaves again.

It was unlike her to feel so disengaged, but she was looking forward to leaving today, because...

Suletta 🍅: here! <3

Miorine smiled at the little notification on her phone, flooded with relief. Finally. She shut her computer closed with a comically sharp snap.

"Suletta's picking you up, then?" Sabina was giving her another one of those looks, like she was just about to smile.

"How'd you know?"

"It took you less than thirty seconds to be up and ready to go."

Miorine rolled her eyes.

Nika—who had also been in attendance—laughed. "Thank you for a productive meeting!" She turned towards Miorine. "Mind if I walk out with you? It would be nice to say hi, and I brought you two something." She held a paper bag up.

"Of course." It's not as if she'd ever say no. She spared a brief glance at her watch, already getting up towards the hallway. Nika scrambled to follow suit. "Sorry for rushing. Suletta's school has a small potluck for the teachers, so I'm leaving with her a little early today." Miorine explained.

"Oh?" Nika sounded intrigued. "It's your first time meeting her coworkers since she started, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

They shuffled into the elevator and made small talk. Not so long ago, Miorine would have been completely disinterested. Small talk was always a chore, a tedious part of keeping up appearances. But things are different now—and in a good way. She found that she did want to hear about how Nika's day went. She cared about the new idea she wanted to prototype, was genuinely interested in the recipe she's going to try this weekend.

"Tell me how it goes," she found herself telling Nika. And she meant it.

They're still talking when the elevator doors slide open. Miorine followed Nika's gaze out towards the entry desk and found Suletta there, grinning at something silly that the new receptionist was showing her on her phone. It seemed she was once again making fast friends.

"Suletta!" Nika called.

Her wife finally looked up. She was leaning on her crutch, her grin lopsided and genuine. It grew bigger still when she caught sight of Miorine, and it was enough to make her stomach flutter. Which was ridiculous! They're married!

The young receptionist (Hana, her name tag helpfully supplied) straightened up at the sight of them approaching. She stammered: "P—President! Chief Engineer! Good afternoon!" She waved politely towards Suletta. "This is Miss Suletta, she said she's here to pick up her wife—"

Suletta was already tugging on Miorine's hand, pulling her closer to kiss her on the cheek. Hana looked all sorts of confused before gasping. "Oh! You're the wife!" And then she covered her mouth, horrified, bowing in embarrassment. "Oh crap I said that out loud—"

Nika smiled in sympathy, trying not to laugh, amused at Miorine's awkward attempts to placate her.

"It's okay, don't worry—Suletta, stop laughing, you're making it worse!"

The funny thing about meeting Suletta's coworkers for the first time was having to pretend she didn't know way too much about them.

"You know I have a son," an older teacher named Yuen said. She remembers her. She taught Oral Communication and Literature. Yuen had her phone pulled out, showing pictures of a strapping young man playing with a dog. "His name is Jan. He's—"

Sixteen. She knows. And the dog is named Goob. She also knows that Yuen is unfortunately going through a divorce, and Miorine hopes that she takes the house because her soon-to-be ex husband sounded like a tool. Suletta had told her all about it—no detail spared.

Now, Suletta would have never told anyone else—especially at work. But, somehow it was nearly impossible for her to keep a secret from her. She figured it probably helped to have someone to air all that out to.

(And…she was embarrassingly invested.)

Overall, the teacher’s springtime potluck was a small and intimate affair. It was to be expected—their school wasn’t a very big one. It was held at the covered courts, welcoming a pleasant breeze that still had some bite leftover from the recently-passed winter. They had set up small decorations: banners and flowers littering the small cluster of tables at the center of the court. There was a long table of food at one side—and at the end was their contribution: the cake that Nika had serendipitously given them at the office before they left. Suletta, however, was nowhere to be found. Miorine was left to fend for herself temporarily.

"How about you two?" Yuen prodded, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Us?" She mumbled, blankly. Not the smartest reply in the book!

"Are you planning on having kids anytime soon?"

Miorine made a funny sound. A graceful attempt at concealing that fact that she had nearly choked on her glass of wine. "Eventually."

"Eventually?"

"We've both talked about it." Miorine played with the rim of her wine glass, having finally recovered. "It’s something Suletta and I both want, down the line."

‘Talked about it’ was a pretty accurate description—nothing less, nothing more. It had come up in passing: something of an afterthought.

"How exciting!" She cooed, giving her a squeeze on the shoulder. "Do your best then, Miorine-san! Work hard!"

Miorine coughed a second time, blinking incredulously. And then she flushed a deep shade of red, unable to formulate a response to the implication of her encouragement. What does that even mean?

The older woman at least looked sheepish at Miorine's reaction, likely catching on to her poorly chosen words, waving her hands apologetically. Before the conversation could further devolve into a series of increasingly uncomfortable questions, Suletta found them again.

"You two getting along?"

Suletta was smiling, so sweet and sincere, clueless to the internal spiral Miorine was falling into. It was an odd thing—Miorine was hardly socially awkward, but it was just so different from the kind of affairs she’s used to that she didn’t really know how to talk to the others at all. These people were actually likeable, for starters. Yuen didn’t have any ulterior motives, had no deals to cement. She was just curious and a little nosey but harmless otherwise.

She felt Suletta’s fingers reach for her own— her hand moved with muscle memory, slipping to fit snugly with Suletta’s, gently brushing over her thumb. It grounded her.

"We’ve been getting along swimmingly!" Yuen laughed. Miorine didn't have the heart to object.

She felt Suletta squeeze her hand, already picking up on Miorine's exasperation after one shared glance. Save me, she tried to convey.

Suletta gave her a knowing smile. Message received!

Not a moment sooner Suletta had bid her temporary farewells to Yuen and pulled Miorine along. She happily followed her, letting her lead them across the party, careful not to jostle her as they walked. She looked so beautiful: happy around her friends and in her workplace.

"Sorry I was gone so long." They finally arrived back at their table, taking their seats again. "Goro-san was slicing up some brisket, so I waited to get a plate."

"Brisket?" Miorine looked over to the plate Suletta prepared. It had thinly-sliced beef, almost like bacon. There was a dark, outer crust and the mild aroma of smoke. It was slathered in a sauce that was unfamiliar to her, but it smelled good enough to make her mouth water. Suletta was already cutting up a small section of it, holding up a fork with a slice for Miorine to try. She leaned forward, taking a bite, and—

Wow.

"It's..." Miorine, for the first time, was at a loss for words. "This flavor, I can barely describe it."

Someone had cheered from behind her, startling them both. It was an older man—another one of Suletta’s coworkers.

"It's been smoked with hickory wood chips." He joined them at their table, looking excited and awfully smug. "I didn't mean to startle you two! I saw Suletta carry over a plate, and I just had to know what you thought."

"Goro-san." Miorine greeted. They had been briefly introduced earlier. She remembers from Suletta's stories that he taught Biology.

"How do you like it?"

"Honestly, I've never had anything like it."

"They don't ever make food like this up in space where oxygen needs to get rationed, and without proper ventilation for smoke. This is the real deal: authentic brisket. Slow-cooked in a smoker for sixteen hours. One-six! I'm not even kidding! The dry rub is a personal recipe, some smoked paprika, more garlic than you'd ever think you needed, but my special secret is the chili powder—I grow the chili peppers myself. "

"You dry them into a powder?"

"With a dehydrator, yes!"

Once he got started, she realized it was going to take a very long time before he stopped. Suletta and Miorine indulged him—and she was honestly quite interested. They did a lot of gardening but have yet to explore cooking. Maybe they could have a little patio in the back, and a grill too. There was more than enough yard space. And she could definitely try her hand at growing peppers, running a few experiments on seasonings herself. Goro was about to launch full throttle into a small lecture on single-barrel smokers and all the different kinds of chips when Miorine catches Suletta’s eyes, and then… she smiles at her. It’s always such a lovely thing to see, the deep, soft green of her eyes.

When she’s been staring far too long, Suletta tilts her head towards Goro-san, as if to say hey! Stop looking at me! He’s trying to say something!

Goro grinned, giving Suletta a big pat on the back. "I didn't know you were such a charmer, Suletta. This young lady here's head over heels, I can tell!"

"Goro-san!" Suletta whined. "Miorine doesn't like to get teased."

"It's true, though." Miorine said smoothly. The fierce blush on Suletta's cheeks was worth it.

"Miorine!"

"See?" Goro laughed, slapping his knee. "You know what, Miorine, you've got the right idea of it. I’ll let you two go, only so much you can hear about barbecue in one sitting. I should go find my wife, give her a hug."

"I'll see you around, Goro-san." Miorine smiled. She pulled Suletta in closer by the arm. "Thankfully, mine is right here."

Finally getting some space after more than an hour of meeting one new person after another, Miorine slumped onto Suletta's side.

"Feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Just taking a minute."

Suletta smiled. "I wonder if you'll survive the winter potluck, with all the kids and parents there too."

Miorine shuddered. "That genuinely sounds terrifying."

"You're all talk, Miorine." Suletta nudged her by the shoulder. "You're always so nice to the kids when you pick me up."

“See, the kids are fine.” Miorine sighed. “It’s the parents.”

"So, Tia and Leola are...?"

"Yes," Suletta whispered, holding out her hand and crossing her index and middle finger to imply that they were together. "At least, I think so."

"Isn't that an HR violation?" Miorine laughed, pulling the covers higher up to their necks. She planted a kiss on Suletta's bare shoulder, lingering there.

"Our school doesn't have an HR department." Suletta stuck her tongue out. "And Leola-san isn't a teacher, so it should be fine."

Miorine hummed. "I see."

“I think they’re really cute together,” Suletta admitted.

“Don’t be like Nika and Aliya.”

Suletta gave her a sheepish smile. It was a precious thing. She spoke again, a little timidly, after a stretch of comfortable silence. "Um. Thank you for coming with me today."

"I'm always happy to."

"I just know that's not really your thing, you know?"

Well, no. But Miorine made new friends today. How many new people had Suletta brought into her life by now? How much wider had her circle grown? It was never something that she thought she’d ever have or want: the potlucks, the little parties that she actually enjoyed. She didn’t realize that when Suletta had pulled her out of the empty vastness of space, she was pulling her out of so much loneliness too.

"Bring me to the next one."

Suletta blinked at her.

"And the one after that."

"Oho!" There it was: her rare smug smile."So you did have fun."

"For the most part." Miorine teased. "Yuen-san had accosted me about us having kids, you know?"

Suletta blushed, sputtering. "No wonder you looked so funny!"

“She told me to work hard. I could hardly believe it."

To her surprise, her wife started laughing. "Oh, that sounds just like her!”

She pinched her cheek. "Don't encourage it!"

Suletta had a teasing grin, despite her blush. "Keep working hard, Miorine-san."

“Suletta!”

“Thank you for your hard work, Miorine-san!”

She pushed Suletta away with her whole hand on her cheek, both of them laughing.

part 1 of 2

A/N:

This fic was inspired by the Death Cab for Cutie Song "Stay Young, Go Dancing" I kinda just listened to it and got Sulemio thoughts heehe.

Additionally - this two-shot is a gift to @nosiidam!! I know that you like the song, and enjoy fluff. And I love you. So much!

#gwitch #gundam witch #sulemio #miosule #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #fluff #domestic fluff #fanfic

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trashlie · 1 year ago

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Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@

#Love and Deepspace #LADS Brainrot #LADS Rafayel #LADS Zayne #LADS Xavier #LADS Caleb #LADS Sylus

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lunaetis · 1 year ago

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PSA. i am a slow writer, and not a social creature.

i just want to make a post addressing this in the light of things that had been brought to my attention recently. i rarely if ever initiate a conversation especially in chats or DMs. 90% of the time the ones who still talk to me on regular basis are the ones who poke me regardless of how dead i have been since our last conversation, and i want to say how much i appreciate you guys for being understanding with me on that front. for tolerating me dropping off the conversation or unable to keep it going for long. or rarely messaging you guys first or sending unprompted asks whether ic or ooc. i know i am bad at it. and i'm sorry if i ever made anyone feel neglected by that.

i wake up at 5:40AM daily, spent 1-2 hours driving to work, work from 9-6, then another 1-2 hours drive back home. i usually have about 2-4 hours daily for leisure. i work a relatively stressful job with strict deadlines and responsibilities, so often enough my social battery is drained by the time i get home. if i don't respond to your messages, it's nothing personal, i promise. i'm just exhausted from work and irl things.

if you see me prioritizing some threads / muses / writing, again, it's nothing personal. with limited time that i could write, i tend to let my muses decide what they want to do and write what comes to me the easiest. sometimes they cooperate with me on things, sometimes they don't. i am just human, i do have partners who my muses and i tend to gravitate towards for various reasons. they're either my long-term mutuals, good friends of mine, or our muses and/or muns chemistry click really well that writing comes easy. however, that doesn't mean i don't want to write with you. i'm just slow, that's all. i do want to write with new people, and i try to do so. but i'm easily overwhelmed and take on more things than i could. that's on me, as well.

sorry if this comes out of the blue, but it needs to be said. i'm incredibly sorry if i have disappointed any of you by not meeting your expectations or have kept any of you waiting long for content from me. i do want to write with as many people as i could, but even i know it's impossible to write with everyone. i do try to reach out whenever time and energy permits, and i'm sorry if i let any of you down with promises or plots that didn't get to be explored.

for those who read up to this point, thank you for taking the time to read this. and thank you for those who still choose to stick with me even though i take forever to get to things. thank you everyone who had been so understanding and patient with me all these years. i wouldn't have still been here if it weren't for you. so thank you. i love you.

#.ooc #.psa #[ putting it under a read more just so i don't clog the dash ]

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eastralyn · 1 year ago

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The beginning

There's always a beginning. There's always a start; we're all born and then we start to live. I reflect on the start of my life a lot. I reflect on the child I was versus the person I am right now. And who will I be next? Who knows, but I am hoping by beginning at the start of it all, I will find some further understanding of who I am and why I am here. My life has been hard, interspersed by shooting moments of peace, happiness and stability. Regardless, it's all come to this one point of where I am right now. I always intended to get my whole story down, so I will start today and continue until it gets too hard to relive some of the shit I've seen done and felt.

At the beginning, I was born. I really don't know how, as it's been impossible for me to understand how two of the most incompatible people I've ever known came together to make a life. My life as it turns out. From what I've been told, it was just by chance that my parents met. For a long time, that chance encounter has haunted my ability to connect all the threads as to why I am here, how I came to burst forth into this existence.

My earliest memory is sitting outside somewhere, in one of the many place we lived. I had a packet of cookies I was trying to open but it was difficult. I pulled and pulled until the package burst open in my hands and the cookies went flying. I was sad as only a 2-3 year old can be when something so small doesn't go well. I knew no one would help me, so I just sat there, the empty bag in ribbons while I'm surrounded by the cookies I wanted so badly. It was sad to know this was just how it was. Unexpectedly, my mom showed up and exuded empathy in a way that completely took me by surprise. She was gentle as she said "let's get you some more cookies". What surprises me most is that even at a young age, this gentle and nurturing experience was not common with her. I truly believe that I keep that memory locked away safe because it's one of the few I have where it's just good. It's me and it's her and we're just good. A fleeting spot of sunshine in the marred landscape of my memories. I don't know that I ever got that from her again. But in that moment, we were gold. I look at that moment a lot until it's too painful and I have to turn away.

I like to think that her and I will exist there forever. That I'm still there as a kid and she's there as my mom. And we can loop on that forever. Because the rest goes downhill after that and that memory gets lost for a long long time

#writing #writer #write #blog #journal #personal post #eastralyn #memoir #Spotify

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tayfabe75 · 9 months ago

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Hey! You know it's crazy how you were right about literally everything. About the fact that TTPD is not what everyone expects, that maroon, cardigan and other songs are about Matty. I thought that some of them might be, but didn’t even suspect that there were so many songs about him!!

And I really want to believe that this is not the last time we see and hear about Matty as you said. But now it seems impossible. So what do you think will happen next?

Anon, just call me Cassandra! (and you wouldn't be the first!)

But... as much as I'd love to claim credit… literally all I did was just believe Taylor last year when she said 'Cardigan' was about Matty! lol

Let me explain the progression from there:

'Cardigan' was the first song of Taylor's I really listened to, and the only thing I knew about it going in was that it was about Matty Healy! Immediately, I heard an implied history. So, I looked into it and found that their history goes back at least a decade. I discovered the lyrical link between 'The 1' and 'Robbers', and the link between 'Cardigan', 'Betty', and 'August'. Well, ALL of these songs have to be about Matty, then. 'Question...?' parallels 'Cardigan' and 'Betty', and 'Maroon' parallels 'The 1'. I thought, well - these songs must be about him too. If you follow threads like this, you'll find so many more parallels and connections than you are probably prepared for. Here's one hint, for you! Keep an ear out for the Rep vault. Taylor says the tracks will be fire… and I think she's going to burn down a lot of longstanding assumptions about the album. If you want to know what I mean, just listen to 'Ready For It' and stop telling yourself that Taylor namedropping Matty's most popular song is a "coincidence"!

While most people brushed it all off as a "meaningless fling" or a "manic episode", I was studying with my fellow "tayfabes". What we found led us down some strange rabbit holes and ultimately, we landed on some unorthodox theories… so bear with me…

But… what if I told you none of it was accidental? Well, then I'd be quoting Taylor Swift! But for good reason. Rather than believe that Taylor is some madwoman who strip-mined Matty for references over the past year to torture him with yet more public scrutiny… maybe Matty was intentionally easter-egging TTPD since last year! Anyone who believed Taylor about how much he meant to her, or trusted that she would not confess her love to the devil incarnate would incidentally have all the tools to decode the album, while everyone else on Twitter scrambled and made up rumors about… Dylan O'Brien or Julien Baker, apparently? (What was it they said on SNL? "I'm just glad it's not Matty Healy"? Something like that...) Truly, TTPD was about the five stages of grief! And Swifties have yet to move past "denial"… Yikes!

Anon, if you weren't aware, Taylor and Matty are two artists who have romanticized star-crossed love stories since 2008 - "coincidentally" around the time 'Robbers' and 'Love Story' were written, both based on Romeo and Juliet. The good news is that Taylor changed the ending so they ended up together! Think 'Cardigan' is about Matty? Good news! Taylor suggests that James and Betty end up together, too.

So, go ahead, mark my words: This will not be the last we see of Matty Healy and Taylor Swift.

But I can't predict when he will show up in her front porch light. And unfortunately, Taylor seems to romanticize interrupted weddings, so I'm not sure how crazy or convoluted their current celebrity narratives are going to get before a reunion happens. The fans broke Taylor's favorite toy, and I have a strange feeling she's about to break theirs... Are you not entertained?!

I predict we'll hear something from Matty next. 🤞 Hopefully soon, clowning hard for May 3rd! Why? It's a Fortnight since TTPD's release and the year anniversary of "This one is about you. You know who you are. I love you."

Thanks for the ask! 🤍

#answered

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rappaccini · 18 days ago

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phillips run act 1 thoughts:

before i get started, i'm expecting this to be, at best, another mcguire run-- a talented author who cares about the character and knows what needs to be done to push her story forward is stuck in a crappy status quo that makes it impossible for any of the good ideas to go somewhere.

and at worst, an author who's only here to synergize gwen with the spiderverse movies and either sincerely thinks gwen's Miles's Girlfriend and wants that for her or doesn't care and just wants the paycheck for making it happen.

so before i get into it, here's how i'm judging the run: what matters isn't that you get the ship/teamup/costume/villain that you want. what matters is that the character isn't being harmed and that their story's still moving in the right direction. if that's the case, the writer works, even if it's a mixed bag. if not, that's when you bail.

how do we know if the writer's harming the character?

if gwen never mentions earth-65 or her loved ones there, is dismissive towards them and shows no desire to return, or if her way home is blocked forever.

if gwen's accepted with open arms on 616 by the world and the spider gang, quickly makes friends, and we never bring up gwen 616 or imply that gwen 65 taking her place is Right and Good.

if gwen and miles move towards being a couple.

if gwen's deaged: suddenly she's in high school again, she interacts only with other teens, she needs a guardian, she refers to herself as a teen.

if the queercoding is thrown out the window, through having gwen date and show enthusiastic attraction to only men without extenuating circumstances or straight-up say she isn't into women.

if gwen uses her powers in a way that contradict the existence of her symbiote or gets rid of it completely.

since this is the gwen-in-616 run, all her plot threads on 65 are inaccessible. so realistically here's what can be accomplished to push the story forward in this status quo:

explore her powers. we never got to see her symbiote reach its full potential and there are so many symbiote-related powers gwen has never gotten to use yet.

explore her education. gwen's an esu student. what's she studying. how can her university setting affect her characterization and social group.

explore the implications of being on 616. i don't just mean 'gwen lives in the shadow of her Dead Girlfriend Self.' i mean, gwen doesn't have any documentation. how's she going to get a job, or an apartment, or make friends. her university knows she's from another dimension, but nobody else does.

explore her trauma. gwen's been incarcerated, tortured, manhunted and rejected by her world and keeps getting reeled towards people who call themselves her friends yet want something romantic/sexual out of her that she's fundamentally uncomfortable with, and has been told by the universe that if she doesn't submit to that kind of relationship she'll never be accepted. what has that done to her psychologically.

explore her politics. gwen's spent years on the run from the police and a corrupt justice system... but also backslid into palling around with the cops and shield after her release from jail and literally starts getting called a 'girlboss' in the mini era. that relapse needs to be corrected.

let gwen come out as bi. she'll never be gay, but bi is possible. she doesn't need to kiss em jay to do it. any woman works.

give gwen other love interests. even if it isn't a woman, a boyfriend could still cut gwiles off. it's important to show that gwen isn't just sitting around saving herself for him. and that she's an adult.

ok with that out of the way i'm gonna liveblog these.

k i hate this cover. definitely noticing how her legs are splayed open. if she's underage now you can't draw her like that.

opening with original gwen's death. yeah we're doing that again.

i don't actually hate the conceit of the series fwiw. a stuck-in-616 run was actually needed. we have no idea how gwen coped with being exiled, or getting a life on 616 with no id, money or job, or how everyone reacted to her moving there, or how she ended up with those roommates in gwenom v carnage.

but we needed this status quo before the multiverse minis. it being placed after she made it home is just confusing, inconsistent and frustrating.

skipping the minis in legacy numbering is both funny (in the case of gwenverse and shadow clones) and... well, part of me hoped that the route they'd go is 'oh, we're gonna cram this run in between them and gvc so retroactively this series will become What Gwen Did On 616 Before She Got Home' -- which is needed!-- then the recap confirmed that the minis are still in her continuity so i guess not.

but the recap ignores smash so this arc definitely was written with zero knowledge of what melissa flores was up to. so no acknowledgment of gwen's queerness or gwenjay for five or six issues minimum.... but phillips is also off the hook for this arc because that wasn't her intent.

and just. oh. editorial's gonna ignore the gwenjay love confession/the confirmation that gwen's in the closet and is bicurious. they're gonna remove that miniseries from the numbering. i see.

the whole thing is just... repetitive. oh gwen's stuck on 616 AGAIN. gwen's being haunted by the death of gwen616 and the bridge where she was killed AGAIN. gwen's wandering the multiverse AGAIN. gwen's got mixed feelings about being in a world where she's in another gwen's shadow AGAIN. gwen's calling herself a 'ghost' and being called a 'spider-woman' because we need to relaunch her as ghost-spider AGAIN.

... did philips or her editor read the mcguire run. does she know we already did all of this.

why. sums it up. why is gwen moving here. they say she is, but never why. why is it so important for her to give up the suit (... are they gonna get rid of the symbiote). why can't she go home. why is she so accepting of this when she just reconnected with 65 and her loved ones there and when she can go back anytime she wants. why is gwen not going to the college she already attends and acting like she's never been here before.

why? synergy. why is gwen with the tva? because they were just in the loki show. why is gwen in the society, unable to go home, called a teen and getting shoved into proximity with miles right as his jackal fantasy frames him as the kind of guy who might cheat on his gf? atsv just came out. why is kraven her first big villain? a kraven movie's coming out this year and sv-gwen fought this version of kraven.

gwen's costume is synergy too. i'm down for a redesign because it's part of superhero comics that characters try new outfits and gwen's symbiote being able to whip up new outfits for her on the fly is part of its fun. but man. ripping the gloves from atsv gwen, the leg-stripes/sneakers and blue back spider from marvel rising gwen just triple down on the synergy thing. it's just recycled elements from preexisting ideas, and it's overdesigned. hopefully this costume doesn't stick.

does the author know gwen has a necklace that can portal her anywhere in the multiverse at will. literally nothing's keeping here except the tva guy who won't tell her shit.

is gwen even still a college student? no mention of school here.

i know wosm called her a 'teen' but she can't be a minor because minors can't open their own bank accounts and the thing stopping gwen from getting hers is lack of documentation and not age, and there's no discussion of her having a guardian.

well. gwen getting stabbed was interesting. as is her being saved by someone.

....at this point i know she's getting a love interest. no matter what anything linking her to 616 needs to go at the end of the day, but she hasn't had one that's lasted yet, and it's one more layer of interference for gwiles so i'll take it.

well. it's been under a week since gwen was yanked off 65 to avoid that mysterious crow-themed villain. so that's where the timeline's at. not even one week after em jay confesses she loves gwen, gwen's gone again.

glory and betty are still locked in that closet i guess.

great detail: gwen can't get a bank account because she's undocumented. the shitty apartment is also great. spider stories are best when they're stories about relatable people, and mcguire 616 gwen felt disconnected from any real stakes (... a magical interdimensional full ride scholarship to study at empire state? really?) and we never got to see gwen figure out how to survive in a dimension where she has no money, no papers, no support system, and another version of her already exists. i hate that we're here, but in theory this could fill that void.

at least the art isn't sexualizing her. the bar's in hell.

and gwen's back to the bob. at least her hair isn't EXACTLY like 616's. or sv gwen's sideshave.

acknowledging that gwen already fought the kraven from her world means at least some of her continuity's being remembered.

gwen's suit is acknowledged as a symbiote in-text, it's discussed that she may have issues with controlling it so it hopefully won't just be a quickchange button (and it hijacks her to help people; her symbiote isn't evil! it's just her at her most authentic!), and the glowy spider design is beautiful.

... wait. are they preparing to take gwen's symbiote away. is that why they keep saying "your suit, your suit, you can't use your suit."

this cover's genuinely great. isn't sexualized, and the horror angle is appropriate to gwen and her relationship with the other spiders.

okay this was the one where they said they were going to have gwen meet someone who will be Very Important To Her In The Future. probably her love interest.

so gwen meeting peter and miles had me nervous.

less so about cindy. i'd actually love gwendy for a while.

it won't be gwendy.

gwen crying out miles's name and being most responsive to him, though she's never given a shit about him before? oh yeah this could be an inroad to gwiles. it's one of the spiderverse synergy goals, and here the writer doesn't seem to be fighting it.

no vampire miles. idk if phillips didn't know it would happen, or didn't care, but this is,,, hm. i'll justify it as 'miles isn't comfortable enough with gwen to be honest with her about his current situation.' which works! we've known he doesn't trust her since he tracked her into club scorpion in the sitting in a tree crossover.

the chameleon is her villain i guess. okay. actually like the meta of gwen fighting the first villain peter fought back in the day. but i hate that she's fighting A Version Of Herself. again.

still don't know who saved her.

gwen running around saying she's sorry for abandoning 65 doesn't mean anything when we know she won't be going back.

at this point i'm so sick of gwen being framed as 'the one who's always leaving.' like... no. it isn't her choice, she's being dragged out. we all know it.

and you can't redeem this idea of gwen in 616. it's not a happy occasion. she's not finding acceptance in a better world. she's being a selfish, passive coward who's accepting that she's being backed into a world where she can never be her own person and told it's her decision. girl get up.

spider-society shows george stacy alive, so i don't think gwen's hallucinating him after his death. unless ss was even worse at keeping with continuity than we realize.

i can't help but recall that revelation that marvel wouldn't let gwen have original villains to prevent sony from getting them. idk if that was just a latour run problem, or if it's still in play, or if it's open to interpretation (does an earth-65 reinterpretation of a 616 character count as an original villain?) but it does put a lot of derivative villain choices in context. still doesn't make them any less dumb. okay. we're fighting ourselves again. okay.

powers... idk what these are, how she got them, or how they're connected to her symbiote.

yeah phillips is building an inroad to gwiles. that's why they keep being pushed together. she's fixing the not-even-friends problem by making them closer. hate that.

... this issue is terrible. so far the author has a poor grip on gwen's continuity, is either faithfully executing editorial mandates to keep her in 616 and synergize her or genuinely likes those ideas and is doing them because she wants to. nothing interesting is being said about her yet, and gwen's queerness or her symbiote, which are the two things you could actually follow up on outside of 65, are being ignored. all the 'ghost spider' plot points are recycled from the mcguire run but worse. her new costume is recycled from animation but worse. all the gwen stacy subversion was already done by the latour run better. the editorial oversight on her continuity is terrible. the art keeps dipping in quality.

my one consolation is that the response to gwen getting this new power has been largely negative.

great cover. grisly, weird and actually related to the story. i know covers are really just clickbait to get people to read that have little to say about the story or tone of a book, but this and #2's pulpier look have been the best she's ever had.

what the hell it's actually good.

this is the best art gwen's ever had. the locations are beautiful, the ruin world she's trapped in is haunting, the character designs are Great. paolo villanelli gets it.

... okay. i fully think the destroyed world gwen's swinging through in her dream, which we've glimpsed in the prologue in web of spider-man, is earth 65. i'm getting the vibe that they're gonna reveal that the world was destroyed somehow, in order to force gwen to stay in 616.

worried they'll go with the route of 'gwen personally wrecked 65' to top off the choice feminism shit they're using to make gwen responsible for her disconnection from her world. it's not her choice! you know it's not! you know she's being forced out! admit it!

gwen's civvie design is the best it's ever been. she isn't sexualized yet looks like a grown woman. her hair looks like the pixie cut from the goblin arc in the latour run. we're finally free from that diet anime protagonist look of the minis.

... she's still a 'teenager' in the slug though. hm.

probably unintentional but gwen just hung out with mutants in smash so her taking cyclops's side is a tiny bit of continuity. she got a crash course in mutant politics.

i know it's probably an opinion about 616 politics but man.... i wonder what cyclops is like on 65.

it feels apt that gwen would relate to cyclops. both characters' radicalization arcs are similar. and hey there's hope that gwen's going to get her politics back.

gwen calling the other spiders her 'friends'.... girl no they're not. but it's in character for her to think they are.

cindy burning the pancakes is hilarious.

gwen hiding her new powers.... hm. yeah i think she used them to destroy 65.

cindy being cool towards her... yeah i see it. gwen and cindy haven't hung out for long since spider-women, and there they weren't exactly besties.

but cindy telling gwen she has to stay inside and not use her powers doesn't feel like something cindy would ever do given her backstory.

cindy, peter and miles icing gwen out? damn someone actually noticed that they're not good to her and is doing something with it.

the 'gwen isn't supposed to be a spider' thing feels meta. interested in seeing where this goes.

gwen's playing martyr. someone noticed it. LOVE that.

gwen's isolationism being called out as unhealthy. good. are we gonna talk about how she's being isolated for a very specific reason?

okay yep that's carlos lamuerto. i know from osmosis that black tarantula's going to get shipped with her so i guess it starts here.

looks like chameleon absorbed gwens' energy power. hm.

... it doesn't seem to be miles's bioelectricity. good.

gwen being too broke for coffee. good. actual relatable human stakes.

... and a guy who looks a lot like carlos picks up the tab. he isn't named, and he has a ton of piercings that carlos doesn't have. idk if they're the same person in different lighting and outfits or if they're related in some way. is this him in his civvies? is this his son?

if so... it could work. we'll see how it plays out but if gwen's getting a new love interest, she's unavailable for miles. good. if that love interest is an adult (carlos lamuerto is in his 30s/40s; even if this is his son, he's gotta be in his mid20s at the youngest) then she definitely wasn't deaged.

gwen seeming instantly smitten with carlos/???. okay. the demisexual headcanon is starting to fade. didn't really expect it to happen anyway.

... gwen coping with being dragged to another world for comphet with a spider-man by throwing herself into a relationship with a morally ambiguous spider-themed vigilante the man she's being shipped with would have serious issues with? welcome back scarletghost, and i guess it's a new pattern of behavior for gwen to do this whenever she's getting girlfriendified.

the out of nowhere shipping also works because whenever she's in a social situation she's uncomfortable with, gwen throws herself towards the romantic affections of someone who has power in that situation. she did it with harry, with miles, technically with peter, mateo and em jay. it is in character. it's one of gwen's flaws.

and for those of you that hate gwen hooking up with men technically you can still call it comphet, since she's all alone in a strange world that won't accept who she really is, running from having to confront her sexuality, and her first impulse is to get a boyfriend. even though it's probably not intended as such.

gwen pretending to be canadian is funny.

looks like the mystery man doesn't know who she is.

the scorpion and the frog analogy is genuinely great. yes. great way to use the scorpion (the chameleon dressed as scorpion) as a villain. great way to tie in gwen being unable to stop herself from being a hero.

... worried this'll end in gwen throwing herself at miles because she ~can't deny her nature~. or the reveal that her nature is inherently toxic to earth 65, or to be a love interest. we'll see.

and gwen's back to being hunted by the cops. good. she doesn't belong here! treat her like it! (... fully expecting this arc will end with gwen Earning Her Place in 616.)

... 'gwen's running from the cops and can't go home to her own dimension!'..... ah. more atsv parallels.

okay yeah what the fuck this is Great.

best case scenario this is phillips being like 'k got my synergy bullshit done, editorial's asleep, time to do what i really want.'

worst case scenario: this is gwen being set up for a toxic relationship miles needs to Save Her from, and we're about to learn that gwen destroyed earth 65 herself.

most realistic scenario is this is a one-off that's great and we're back on our bullshit next time.

and regardless... it took four issues to lock in. and 3 was Bad. most comics fall off after their first arc, and halfway through the first arc of a run with a status quo the readers already hated, we're finally cooking with gas. even if things are Great from here on out it might be too late to get people onboard. which, hey. maybe it'll send gwen home faster. or maybe it'll land her in the same status quo with a worse writer.

i'll take the ship victory. gwen's getting with a grown man, so we're partying on gwiles's grave tonight. and gwen's into guys with piercings, so ghostpunk's holding on by a thread, which is all i can expect for that ship.

oh this art is Great. it elevates the story so much.

the fight in the sewer with... is that vermin? love it.

chameleon reluctantly being her ally? love it.

is it the first time gwen's been on the run with someone whose powers are glitching out? no. but it works. (... god i miss harry)

okay so the black tarantula gwen's being shipped with ISN'T carlos, it's his son fabian, who seems to have been created for this run. he isn't in his 40s, but he's clearly a grown man. i'm cool with it.

controversial opinion: i like the spider-girl plot borrow via the black tarantula plot. part of the central conceit of spider-gwen was 'how would GWEN respond to these familiar spider-person scenarios' so it's in line with the story to revisit certain plots, it is new to borrow from spider-stories that aren't peter's, and the angle it's taking with fabigwen is fresh enough.

gwen cussed again! yay!

the flirt-fighting is great. is it the most original thing in the world for gwen to be being shipped with her villains? no. does it work? yes, because gwen's got a pattern of romantic teases with villains; they seem to be her type. i actively want to see gwen and fabian make out.

yeah second good issue in a row.

however... idk where the tva went. still no answers about Why Gwen Left 65 and what the bird villain is. or about who saved gwen from the river. it feels like things suddenly took a turn deep into black tarantula halfway through.

gwen not seeing 616 as her True Home and disowning 65 gives me hope though. like okay gwen's still out of place on this world, unwanted, and can't find acceptance. thank god. she CAN'T find it here.

... arc 1 done. what's the damage.

is this writer protecting the character?

❌discuss how gwen loves 65 and belongs there: when 65 is brought up, gwen talks vaguely about how she's upset about leaving, but never mentions her band, harry, any of her rogues, the em jay love confession. even that hallucination of her dad doesn't yield anything but 'gwen is guilty' ... but if she's guilty, why isn't she trying to go home?

➖discuss how she doesn't belong on 616 and isn't gwen-616: we start out with that but it never sticks around. however, she doesn't ~realize she belongs here~ and the world doesn't embrace her, which is promising.

➖don't pursue gwiles: gwen's suddenly crying out for miles for emotional support. but she's being shipped with a different man.

✅keep gwen an adult: no mention of gwen needing a guardian, she's not in high school (... but not in college either), she can't open a bank account due to her name and not her age, and she flirts with a grown man. this woman is at least 20.

➖continue to lay on the queercoding: ... gwen's design in 4/5 isn't much of anything. and the central theme of this run, that gwen's 'hiding a big secret from her friends that she's scared they'll hate her for, in a world she knows is hostile to her, will hurt her if it finds out What She Is, and wants her to be a straight man's girlfriend' fits into the queer narrative. but other than that, i can't say it's intentional given the lack of acknowledgement of gwenjay was accidental, and the sudden appearance of fabigwen probably wasn't intended to erase that.

✅keep exploring her symbiotic powers: gwen has a new power, but idk how connected to her symbiote her energy blasts are. but it's clear that phillips at least knows gwen has a symbiote.

jury's out. which means i'll give her another chance.

and are the basic opportunities to advance gwen's story being taken?

➖explore her powers. well. her symbiote is acknowledged. but it isn't being explored. and she has a new power. we'll see where this goes.

❌explore her education. is gwen not in college anymore. she doesn't go to class, study, or show up on campus at all and never mentions that she's skipping or dropping out. or is it summer break.

✅explore the implications of being on 616. it's inconsistent with the mcguire run smoothly bypassing the issue via magic interdimensional scholarship but i don't mind. gwen not being able to open a bank account and having to keep a low profile because she doesn't have an identity here is a GOOD conflict. and honestly it's what we should've gotten the first time.

➖explore her trauma. gwen seems to be avoiding something traumatic. are we ever going to stop doing that? and she's also being othered by the other spiders, which feels appropriate, but she never seems to arrive at a conclusion about how to feel about this.

➖explore her politics. gwen's on the run from the police again. we'll see if her conclusion is 'the policing system is bad' or 'i have to show them i'm one of the good ones'

❌let gwen come out as bi. she's flirting with a guy and shows no interest in women.

✅give gwen other love interests. black tarantula works.

mixed bag. the train's still on the tracks, but it's a slow, bumpy ride so far.

so. this is mcguire lite. the author has a solid understanding of gwen's personality-- her lines are believable and her actions feel mostly right (apart from the big gaping 'why is she hiding from 65'). gwen's circumstances of being broke, in hiding and on the outs with the cops are a great return to form after the mcguire run tried to establish gwen as a college student whose vigilantism is largely accepted, which simply didn't feel like it was where the character shined. fabian seems like a solid love interest for her, apart from the timing and editorial circumstances. and i love that someone's finally acknowledging that gwen has a martyr complex and that the spider-golden-boys treat her like shit.

fwiw i'd sincerely like to see stephanie phillips's take on earth 65. and honestly? this plot would fit well there; there isn't a chameleon or black tarantula yet and the cops have a history of hating gwen. if the chameleon were impersonating her, and she was trying to clear her name as black tarantula hunts her down, and distancing herself from her loved ones until it's safe to see them again, i'd LOVE this.

however, here are my big gripes:

the plot is unsteady. why's she here? what are these powers? how long are we going to kick that can down the road? this first arc just kind of ends with no clear answers, or even an indication that we're going to address it soon. and what even was the central conflict of this plot, other than gwen doesn't feel at home here, but we won't let her come to any conclusion about this.

the continuity's a mess: we know phillips didn't know about gwenjay in smash, but why is gwen's interdimensional travel necklace never mentioned? why is gwen not in college anymore? why are we acting like this is the first time she's been exiled to 616? why are we not talking about how miles is a vampire? did the spider society event happen already, or after this arc? how familiar is phillips or her editor with the continuity?

we can't afford to keep the mystery box closed. planting seeds that'll grow later is writing 101. but you have to consider that the readership of this comic may not be patient enough to wait for the payoff of Why Gwen Left 65, given how much we want her there.

gwen has no supporting civilian cast to anchor her. the mary janes and her father are gone, and harry's been gone for years. giving her a boyfriend in fabian simply isn't enough (and prioritizing getting gwen a boyfriend first is very 😐). if gwen's going to be in her spider-suit 24/7, her relatability and the emotional resonance of her stories are going to plummet because the appeal of a superhero story is that their everyday life is just as important as their adventures. again- look at the mcguire run, which is so uneven because no one can relate to having a full-ride interdimensional scholarship. there's no balance in this run so far so there aren't any emotional stakes. but silver lining: if she has no friends or loved ones here, she can leave faster. please leave faster.

all in all... a frustrating read. there are hints of something promising here, but i don't think it'll be able to outshine the status quo, or the disjointedness of ignoring huge amounts of gwen's continuity. it was a rough start that started to smooth out, but still has an unclear forward direction.

i just can't pass judgment yet.

#sgtgs #spider gwen thoughts #spider gwen salt

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necrophcge · 9 months ago

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NAME:

Lee

PRONOUNS:

he/him

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?

// Meddles here is technically my most active, but I'm doing stuff behind the scenes for my lads Brom ( @of-forossa ), and Samuel Whist ( @fishermcn ) so I'll add them here too lmao.

RP PET PEEVES?

// Ah hell man, probably a lack of progression when it comes to replies? When I'm writing a thread with someone, I do what I can to make sure they have enough from my own to continue the story we're telling together. So getting a reply in return that doesn't move things forward puts me in kind of a bind y'know? Matching or similar length comes with that as well, though I don't expect folks to match me word for word so much as giving as good as they've gotten!

Communication is also key! I know that it can be uncomfortable or a bit daunting to try to chat with folks you haven't gotten to know all that well, but with threads being something we create together we really should be on the same page. Even just a little update or the like is preferable to total radio silence rofl.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?

// Shoot, it's probably been about twelve, maybe thirteen years now? Been on here the whole time and have bounced around to a few different fandoms before more or less settling down into the soulsborne community.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?

// I'm definitely an angst kinda guy, though usually in the sense that things are going down or conflict is brewing rather than interpersonal drama. I live for fight-writing and the tension that comes with lives being on the line. Fluff is usually reserved for one and done replies rather than threads because I feel it's more impactful thst way, while smut is... well. I'm getting better at it, but it's definitely my weakest writing of the bunch. That, and I admittedly can get a bit nervous posting it out here in the wild for everyone to see (////-\\\\)

PLOTS OR MEMES?

// Both! Plots and plotting are my preferred go-to for our muses to get to know each other and establish what their relationship will be like going ahead, while with memes I'll usually go ham on a single reply with the intent of further fleshing out what we've pieced together for our muses.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?

// If you've known me on my other blogs you already know I tend to get long winded XD. Short replies never feel like I've said enough honestly, and by taking the time to get in depth with them I reckon it opens the door wider for potential interactions (memes) or it gives the other person more room to reply with (threads). Least amount I'll do is around two to three paragraphs.

TIME TO WRITE?

// I'd love to tell you folks that I'm a responsible, orderly guy who keeps a good sleep schedule and has a set time for writing. Unfortunately I'm little more than an animal who's as likely to bump out an ask or reply at 4:00 in the morning as I am to post something mid-afternoon. Ideally though... I prefer the evenings for it. More privacy, more time to gather my thoughts and less demands for me personally to have to address.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?

// I'm a firm believer in the notion that muns typically have something either in common with or identify strongly with their muses in some form or another, and I'm no exception. Meddles might be a conqueror, cruel and malicious, but struggling against a seemingly impossible task and not wanting to be alone in this world... yeah. Yeah, I can relate to that. It helps me put myself in their shoes and understand them better if there's something about them I identify with.

tagged by: @ferinehuntress (much obliged panda :D)

tagging: @yellowfingcr, @hexenjagd, @bcwblade, @rotten-pest, @izar-tarazed, and you!

#ooc tag.#// not me shamelessly plugging all the lads lmao #// but yeah! this was fun; good way of putting to words some of my processes ^^

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macabremoons · 1 year ago

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Writeblr Positivity Tag

@hallwriteblr did a post of this tag, and I knew I had to try it out! Doing what they did and putting the blank format underneath the cut!

Gently tagging: @squarebracket-trick, @leisoree, @serenanymph, @immortaladrien, @thesoftestofpetals, and anyone else who wants to join!!!

1. What motivates you to write?

The plot threads I have later down the line in my wips and my characters. Both of these points are really the same. I am excited about the things I have planned because they highlight the characters, and I am excited because my characters for the things I have planned.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I have to pick just one????? Oh lord.

Undead things aren't supposed to grieve other undead things, and yet so many vampires were now without fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

@mouseinthegreenhouse's Maximilian. They have to put up with my simping sm HIOEWHOIW. It's hard to describe Max in a way that does not boil down his character. He just has this presence that you feel in every page, this captivation. A slow, measured way of speaking where he knows no one would dare interrupt him. Love him to bits.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

I haven't really gotten to the editing phase with any of my OG works, so I guess I have to say drafting?

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Character. I try my best to write characters that are analysis worthy. That have a deeper meaning in their existence and that have a lot to say about the world. Of course not all of my characters are as well thought out as others, but when I do put my all into it there is so many intricacies that go into them.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

THE PEOPLE. I LOVE YOU GUYSS. I love seeing your works and hearing your feedback and the tags and the asks. And the mutuals. The mutuals. Getting to know other writers and getting to talk about writing more deeply with them is so much fun.

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I use WPS Offcie for my more serious projects. It's like Word, but free, and also not owned by Microsoft. This helps me not write in the middle of the night on Daycycle and work on it healthily. It is the bane and boon of my existence.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

Why must you continually make me choose a favorite child? I like how I tackled the elements on daycycle, I suppose. The fact that every element has it's own ideology behind it gives me a lot of freedom with what I can do with it. It also helps me say a bunch of stuff with it! And I enjoy making none of the elements good or evil but keeply neutral with their own psychological behavioral patterns.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

People are going to tell you to just keep going and you're going to think that it's impossible. I'm sorry to tell you that it's hard, but it's possible. I believe in you and your ability to write through this.

Unless you are going through writing burnout TAKE A BREAK. TAKE A BREAK. TAKE A BREAK. "But what if--" NO. BREAK. NOW.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

@squarebracket-trick for her amazing writing. I really feel like I could have a discussion about any form of writing with her and she'd have something to say. @sugar-phoenix, @lyra-brie, and @leisoree for listening to my rambles and sharing their gorgeous juicy ideas to me. @wipsbymor for RJ. What I have to say more? Sigh, also for her continued support and kindness. @hallwriteblr, yes tagging you again, for being such a kind person in this community and for writing that sage one shot. @serenanymph for being one of my first mutuals and a talented writer to boot. And to everyone who is my mutual! I love you all!!

1. What motivates you to write?

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

#tag game

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forcebookish · 1 year ago

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I don't care what anyone says I hope topmew is endgame and top takes mew away from that nasty friend group 🙏 I know some people like to victimize certain characters but let's be real here they are all shitty friends that constantly overstep his boundaries and I'm sure we don't need to get into all of Boston's atrocities. I guess the thing that gets me is people act like mew always has to carry the baggage of his friends and be the bigger person no matter what but somehow top is the one that is irredeemable and should not be forgiven under any circumstances?? If he wasn't cornered, manipulated, and coerced I would agree but that is definitely not the case here. Anyway this was longer than I expected and I'm not the best with words so I hope this at least makes some sense lol.

you're making perfect sense, anon!

i've seen folks try to say that boston is the "real victim" in his "relationship" with top...?????????? someone made a whole thread on twitter. if i had to say "no one owes anyone sex" once, i'd have said it too many times - but i've had to say it MULTIPLE times!!! what did top even do to boston? tell him he doesn't want to sleep with him?? tell him "stop?" nearly cry (twice) when boston told him that mew might be cheating on him? push him away when he wouldn't let go? wow, such abuse, so victim🙄 top out here literally just trying to stay in his own lane, date a guy, and work on the hostel while boston can't keep his creepy hands to himself😒 but i guess it's boston's god-given right to touch people who don't wanna be touched, apparently😒😒

and people got mad at mew for being "mean" to ray when he was frustrated about ray calling him drunk in the middle of the night. he even says, "i'm not picking you up again." again. he has had to help him out of these situations he puts himself into before. pathetic little meow meow or not, that is a huge burden to put on your friends time and time again. the drama already established that ray tells his friends he loves them when he's drunk, mew had no reason to think that ray was going through a crisis until he actually heard he was crying. AND THEN CAME RUNNING TO HIM!

re: mew's shitty friends (hey, cheum you can stay!), what's cool about the relationships in this drama is how many characters mirror each other, not being the same but being flipped and on opposite ends of the spectrum. the most obvious example is top and mew: top being sexually active, open to new experiences, and LOUD during sex, while mew is celibate, likes to stick to books, and hardly even breathes during sex. and for topmew, i personally think that's a strength!

but ray and boston are also mirrors to each other: ray looking up to/loving mew and boston hating/looking down on mew. and they both kinda ruin his life about it lol

and yeah, i really, really want endgame topmew. honestly, they seem to have the strongest relationship (at least among the boys and including the friendships) in the drama. i can't, and absolutely don't want to, see mew reconcile with boston. maybe ray, depending on how things go down - but i'm so not into the idea of mewray, because it smacks of "wearing him down." he held that torch for years.

i would never say that what ray has done is as bad as boston, but it's another case of not respecting someone's boundaries when they have firmly rejected them. (it's not just because it's not a forcebook ship!!! i promise!!! ...i mean, it is a little bit, of course😅)

and i find it very ugly that it wasn't until top and mew had someone serious in their lives that ray and boston couldn't deal. i've been saying this before the drama aired, but i really think that top and mew would have just had a normal, you meet, you date, you fall in love relationship (even with the drug use, it's not impossible to work through that as a couple), if it weren't for ray and boston actively trying to sabotage their relationship - if they were actually good friends. and the drama seems to be delivering on that theory. seems to be the point, actually.

thanks for popping in, anon! prayer circle for endgame topmew 🙏🕯️🙏🕯️🙏🕯️🙏🕯️🙏🕯️

#anonymous #asked and answered #ofs liveblog

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nikethestatue · 2 years ago

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Hello Nike! I actually don't know where to put this. I went to reddit first and I kind of feared what I'll say will not be accepted since it's about a ship and when I clicked Elriel thread, it leads me to Elucien ship so I went here. Okay hi again! Haha, I'm kind of new here, I have few questions but I have a whole rant haha. I read acotar because of all the Gwynriel fanarts I see on tiktok and instagram. They're all so beautiful and I loved the captions. That they are "mates" and that Az shadows dance with Gwyn and that it is a "good" stuff. Honestly, I'm a bias reader especially if I already knew the "endgame". I have so many acotar rants but I'll focus on this ship. I don't like Elain. At the first book, I didn't like her but I appreciated when she helped Feyre when she's going back to Prythian. I think it was very thoughtful of her. Then I read ACOMAF, I confessed, I tried to shrug off the first Elain and Azriel scene but it's too cute! Her gripping the fork and him smiling, her asking him question about flying and he's answering like a true poet, and her admiring the flying. And then come ACOWAR, I wanted to ship Elain with Lucien because mates but Sarah keeps on hinting it can be rejected. I wondered why did Sarah not put Lucien saving Elain instead of Azriel? And why Azriel never let go of Elain after the rescue scene. It was pretty obvious for me but then, I remembered it's impossible because Gwyn will come and she's Azriel's mate. ACOFAS was full of Elriel sweet little moments. The Solstice scene gave me life. Seeing Azriel filled with joy. The table scene!!! He made them all wait because of Elain, I was screaming but trying not to ship them so bad because I don't want to be disappointed. And then ACOSF came. I waited for Gwyn and Az sweet moments. Three scenes. Training. Not even alone together. It's like I'm reading Feyre and with the other HL interaction or Rhysand with the HL's sister on acomaf. I read acosf with the bonus scene and it only confrmed Elriel for me? The shy smiles, charged glanced, his secret to tell??? And then Azriel and Elain wanting each other? I hate to say this but I am not so disappointed because reading Elain and Azriel scene from acomaf to acosf is the best build up I've ever read! GWYN IS SUS. I am calling it. When I gathered enough courage I'm going to compile all the moments my eyebrow arched because of her. But this is too long now so yes. Thanks for the time!! I hope we will have the book this year!

I think the main issue with Gwynriel as a ship, and what they try to convince others of and themselves, is that there are NO important scenes of any kind between the two of them.

With Elriel, even if it was in the background, their scenes were highlighted, just like Nessian's. The scenes between Elriel were highlighted--they weren't just reactions that were described--they were scenes observed by others. Even what seemed to be a small scene--when Az brought Elain to the townhouse, there was a LOT around it that built it up. Elain's hair snagging into his armour, like golden threads, him carrying her over the thresh hold, her calling his hands beautiful, him immediately offering to do something FOR her, WITH her, and....leisurely? Azriel is not known for relaxation or offering to spend time with ANYONE just for fun. Here he is, taking this girl out with him to the garden, sitting with her, sunning his wings. And then we also have Lucien's reaction, once he scented who took his mate away.

That small little scene is already longer than all of Gwynriel's interactions throughout the books.

Ships are not written off-page.

The rescue from Sangravah is off page. Just a memory, from one person, a few sentences long.

The rescue from Hybern is like a 20 page chapter.

The truth teller scene is a huge, pivotal moment that's observed and commented on by everyone. It's shocking. Incredible. Perplexing. The results of that exchange are even more shocking--she kills the king with that dagger.

Again, Elriel are still very much a secondary, if not tertiary couple in ACOWAR. Yet so much time is given to their interactions. And the importance of those interactions.

Gwynriel never interact together. There are no 1:1 moments. Even where there is some dialogue or exchange, it leads nowhere. It's non consequential. Even if it was Azriel who'd brought up the history of the ribbon cutting and the Valkyries to Gwyn--I would say, okay, there is something. Because there would be results from that interaction. But it wasn't him. He had no influence on anything Gwyn-related, and she had no influence on anything Azriel-related.

Gwynriel is the same thing as Moriel--a red herring. Just like with Moriel, there was a rescue off page, but no interactions of any importance in the book. When Azriel and Mor went to steal the Orb, we never saw it, because it was all about Feysand. All interactions were surface-level.

You don't start ships off page. You don't write ships off page. The sooner some people realise that, the easier it will be in the long run.

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searchingforserendipity25 · 1 year ago

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Knit, Purl, Improvise | Dangeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. ON AO3

For Lukani, as part of the Yuletide Exchange.

“You have dropped a stitch,” Xenk said helpfully, three days into their long scouting mission.

“Honestly, and this is just a friendly suggestion, feel free to take it, piss off,” Edgin said. And then; “Shit, not the double stitch. I swear double stitches love to be dropped, they’re just dying for it. Where do I -”

“Right there.”

Xenk shifted closer. The sunlight slanting through the firs and elms fell upon his cheeks with intent, as if it were perfectly aware and quite smug about its role in highlighting his beauty. Edgin stared - it was physically impossible not to stare, okay? Even Holga would have stared, and she was very much not into tall guys.

Edgin cursed, fished out the lost stitch, and cursed again when it was clear he had to unravel a whole couple of rows to get it back into shape.

Xenk extended a hand. Long fingers, graceful wrists, calluses like - not like Holga, really. Fighter's hands; good hands. Edgin felt a normal amount, about them. "If I may -"

"Nay, you may not - nuh-huh! Get your hands off, mister. No needle-hogging here, thanks very much. If you wanted something to keep busy you should have brought it yourself, deal with it."

Xenk really was quite - well, not much taller than Edgin, but very present. Edgin was very aware of it, with the way they had sat together on the same cold boulder for hours now, peering down at the ravine below, and the cave where a band of traffickers were bound to show up, sooner or later. It looked like it was going to be a later situation.

Even Edgin found it pretty tasteless to make money off looting graves and selling the mummified corpses of ancient pixie chieftains to the highest bidder, though, and their sponsors paid decently, so he didn’t feel too bad about the bother.

Didn’t mean he hadn’t complained about it, but at least he had offered to share his egg sandwich with Xenk - that was nice, right? He was making nice, the way one made nice with an occasional coworker who did not make conversation and did not like egg sandwiches. Who, Edgin asked, did not like egg sandwiches? And he kept looking disapproving when Edgin stepped on the trails of ants that tried to make off with the crusts. No one made off with Edgin's crusts, only Holga and Kira were allowed to have his crusts.

"I am not needle-hogging," Xenk said, spacing out the vowels carefully. "I am not even touching your needles. Which I suspect, by that logics, makes you the needle-hogger here."

"Am not!"

"I merely wished to offer help where I may."

"Well, don't," Edgin snapped, and got busy tug-tug-tugging the yarn, unravelling his afternoon's work. "I am making a lovely scarf for my lovely daughter, and I am perfectly capable of making it myself."

Edgin sighed loudly. "Of course you knit. I bet you do great socks - fancy stuff, right? Marino shawls, and stuff. No, wait." Edgin narrowed his eyes, framed Xenk's face between his fingers like a pretentious portrait trying to get the sitter's measure. "You do lace knitting, don't you."

"The kindly farmers that took me in were often local champions at the local competition of threading thin shawls through rings," Xenk admitted.

"Flunk you," Edgin repeated, with feeling. Xenk's mouth tilted with a smile, just slightly. "Yeah, laugh it up, local father of one precocious kid edits out a few swear words, funny stuff. I'm doing just fine without a knitting advisory, thanks."

"There is no shame in taking aid when it is offered. Indeed, I was laid down for many moons abed with a wound, while in the care of a kindly family of farmers, when I first was taught the craft of knitting. And I must say," Xenk added, tilting his head in that disconcerting, insightful way that made the fine hairs to the back of Edgin's hair rise with not-unpleasant fright. "I am surprised at the techniques you apply. There are easier ways to undo this error than to start wholly anew."

Edgin bristled. The sun was in his eyes, now - the clouds kept chasing each other across the narrow strip of sky they could see from their spying place. Honestly, it was getting kind of chilly; but of course they couldn't start a fire, and like hell he was asking Xenk to cast a warming cantrip.

Xenk had cast a warming cantrip over their camping site every night so far, but it was the principle of the thing.

"So?"

Xenk considered him. Which was. Certainly an experience. Edgin would like it to be over as soon as possible, but, again: he could not quite look away.

"I believe you to be a man very fond of shortcuts."

"Why, Paladin Xenk, are you calling me a cheater? I am hurt," Edgin said a hand on his chest, nearly stabbed himself in the face, and turned down the needles in a dramatic movement, as if he really had meant to show he was back-stabbed levels of hurt. "Truly."

"I am merely pointing out. As a friendly suggestion. For what it counts, your scarf does look lovely."

Of course it did. Edgin had learned from his Gramps, all the wool-stuff sailors worked at in the quiet of the night, crammed together in miserable bunks by the swaying light of foul-smelling lanterns. Gramps made beautiful cardigans, thick, scratchy, wonderful shirts. So did Edgin.

"Hell yeah it is. Which you only get if you do things properly." Do it proper start to finish, my Ned, and only leave a mistake so the spirits know not to get funny ideas.

Thing was, wool was awfully expensive. Nothing you could make a living out of, really; or at least he'd never managed it. He imagined telling Xenk that, and bit back a shiver: how the hell did people even get through these long waits? How did people get to know each other, even. He had never felt the need to prove himself to Holga - or, well, he did, every day, otherwise he'd have let himself die a thousand times, he cared about her opinion more than anything and sort of built up his identity around her faith in him in a cute, a little codependent way, but. It was different with Xenk.

Whatever - dusk was setting. The ants were going nuts on the bit of crust he had left for them, well away from his blanket - Xenk ought to be happy about that, not that he cared. There were bigger things to worry about. Tonight would be the last one of their watch, he could tell; the air was shivering in the leaves, eager. His neck prickled. Start to finish, and enough mistakes for bad luck to pass through.

Well, Edgin made mistakes aplenty, and the world liked Xenk better than most; between the two of them, they ought to be fine.

"Your stitches are slipping again," Xenk noted.

"Brotherflunker," Edgin cursed, and bent down to work the needles with furious speed, the better to avoid Xenk's eyes, that tilted mouth.

#xenk yendar #dungeons and dragons #edgin darvis #edgin x xenk #dnd honor among thieves #dnd honor among thieves fic #my fics #yuletide #yuletide exchange

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