#i have so many feelings about them but thats for another post.
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s30 - e35: the remembered treatment
Rikichi comes to the Ninjutsu Academy with an injured Totsuan Bōta. When Doi-sensei sees Totsuan being treated, he remembers the first time he met Rikichi and Yamada-sensei. At that time, Doi-sensei was also injured and was treated by Rikichi.
many thanks to tinytanpopo who subbed these! their translation commissions are here.
mediafire pixeldrain
#nintama#nintama rantarou#fansubs#doi#rikichi#ridoi#going door to door like a mormon showing off this episode. have you heard the good word of ridoi#i have so many feelings about them but thats for another post.
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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PART 20
of the dfk 2023 audiobook translation
@cnka
Narrator (audiobook): Robert puts another piece of wood on the trunk and swings the axe.
Bökh: „And you never wanted to get in touch?"
The Nichtraucher picks up a piece of wood.
Silence.
Nichtraucher: „Why should I? We didn’t see each other for the past ten years either.“
He rips the piece of wood apart with his bare hands. While holding eye contact with Justus.
Silence.
Justus lowers his head.
Jo: „Uh.. weren’t you-" Martina, quietly: „Jo, leave it. Lets go.“
Martina, louder: „We need to go! We still have something to do.“
The kids leave. Jo and Martina are holding hands as they walk away.
Bökh: „Yeah… Thank you, kids.“
Jo, whispering as they walk away: "What was that just now?!"
Robert picks up the chopped wood and walks back to his wagon. Justus looks after him.
Narrator (audiobook): If the two friends will find back together? Matze isn’t so sure of that.
Matze, sarcastically: „Well, that was a great success!“ Jo: „Yeah, so much for friendship between Internals and Externs.“
Narrator (audiobook): At least Robert granted Herr Bökh access to his wagon. He looks around lost in thought more or less, while Robert washes the dishes.
Dishes clatter. There is silence otherwise.
Justus stares wistfully at Robert while he washes the dishes.
Justus takes his eyes off Robert and starts looking around while Robert continues to ignore him.
Bökh: „I thought you were living in London.“ Nichtraucher: (silence) Bökh: „It's nice here.“ Nichtraucher: (silence)
Justus starts walking around.
Bökh: „I told the kids about our friendship.“ Nichtraucher: „As a cautionary tale?“ Bökh: (chuckles/scoffs) „No. Of course not.“
Narrator (audiobook): Bökh spots the poster of „the Bandits“, the same one hanging in his apartment.
Bökh: „The 'Wild Dog' that we always played in is still there.“
Nichtraucher: (silence)
Bökh: „Should we meet there sometime? For a beer?“
Robert looks up.
He lets out a small huff, almost like an incredulous laugh or a scoff.
He dries his hands on a towel and folds it.
Nichtraucher: (silence) Nichtraucher: „I don’t know what we would have to say to each other.“
Bökh: „Hm. Well. A lot of time has passed.“
Narrator (audiobook): Robert sits down at the table and lights himself a cigarette.
Justus turns as well and starts looking around again.
Nichtraucher: „Why didn’t you come to Marie’s funeral back then?“
Nichtraucher: „You didn’t even get in touch.“
[„You didn't even get in touch“ -> parallels to „And you never wanted to get in touch?“]
Justus is silent. He starts fiddling with his jacket and pulls it off his shoulder. He lets out a deep, shaky sigh and is silent for another few moments.
Bökh: „…I don’t know, you met her and… and suddenly you were gone.“
[Parallels to „suddenly your closest loved ones are gone“]
Bökh: „As if everything -our friendship, the band- as if that had all just been a dream.“
Justus turns around and looks at Robert.
Bökh: „Wir zwei. Wir hatten doch Pläne.“
Bökh: „That really hurt me.“ Nichtraucher: „It hurt you.“
Silence. Just the music.
Bökh: „Yes. Very much back then.“
The Nichtraucher lets out a soft incredulous laugh again, almost like a scoff.
Nichtraucher: „I see.“
Long silence. Justus stares out the window. Finally, he turns and walks to the door.
Bökh: „You know where to find me.“
Justus leaves the wagon. Robert nods to himself silently.
Narrator (audiobook): And with these words, Herr Bökh leaves his friend’s train wagon. If the two will ever see each other again?
#das fliegende klassenzimmer#dfk 2023 audiobook translation#dfk#das fliegende klassenzimmer 2023#mine#this is the most scene of dfk 2023 to me. i am having so many feelings and thoughts about it#there is so much to unpack#i really hope this did it justice... the whole. silent staring obviously doesnt translate#the silence in general doesnt translate#i would recommend to actually watch the scene#the silence is so so pivotal#another addition;#ach gott ich nehm grad neue bilder auf weil diese szene hq wirklich wert ist#und ich komm immer noch nicht darüber hinweg dass justus den nichtraucher allen ernstes 7 SEKUNDEN LANG ANSTARRT WÄHREND DER SPÜLT#ich hab hier wirklich am image limit gekratzt#tbh mit dem foto von den kindern kann ich nichts anfangen aber es scheint nicht unwichtig zu sein so i included it#it cant be robert and justus cause these kids are waaayy too young#if robert and justus met in school#these kids are like. idk. 9??#and i assumed they met when they were around the age of the kids in this movie#but maybe i got it wrong??#its so funny at some point i dont even talk about the Main Things of this scene anymore and focus on the most miniscule details instead#thats probably bc ive watched it maybe 10 times now and literally know this scene by heart. but let us PLEASE talk about the Main Things#i am so ready to have endless discussions about justraucher#hopefully the last addition of tags;#ok honestly i made almost as many edits to the tags as i did to the post#cause i kept changing little things so my comments werent up to date anymore#i think this part will be my magnum opus out of them all. but who knows theres still 9 to come#i think it shows that this is my favourite 🙃#oh yes i also added mentions to the parallels. felt like these were significant
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i think it would be funny if in the future daniel + julia try to convince sasja to give polyamory/them as a throuple a shot
#like a reversal of step talking them into a being a triad in retri#been a while since ive played and definitely since ive played a chargeflystep run so. not confident in my memory#i just thknk it would be neat ! funny !#sasja still hates julia but. she knows now. and he knows that she knows. and thats not the reason she didnt save him#he still hates her for that hates her for leaving him. but. he also knows now that hes done much worse so. shrug#and in some runs he does accidentally drug-addledly confess to still being in love w her#and ! hes going to therapy and he does take it serious ! he can be difficult and lash out but. he does listen to what finch has to say#(and is willing to Work on things and like. have therapy Homework post retri)#and he wants. he doesnt want to be this (terror) anymore. he went to far he can see that now daniel made him see that. he wants to be.#something. better ? less murderous. less violent ig. i think he just doesnt want to hurt daniel again but. theres lots that could hurt him#anyway ! all that to also say - daniel is (supposedly) very perceptive and even tho hes not in the room when sasja confesses to julia#i dont think it would be hard for him to figure out that sasja misses julia (he still hangs out with her. even tho hes told her to fuck off#fuck off a thousand times) and ? maybe he would see or feel that theres still something there between them and#and idk. maybe daniel and ortega talk. maybe sasja and his romantic past w julia comes up. maybe ortega is like. it is what it is hes#hes clearly in love with you anyway so... but ? maybe......#idk ! im tired ! forgot where im going w this. idk how they get there but. maybe the float the idea by sasja. see if he would be willing to#to give julia another shot#(this came about bc i was thinking about how its funny that he + milo (+ vanya) are polyamorous but while milo#milo is dating as many people as she can sasja is just dating one person rn. i just think the contrast is funny)#sasja x daniel x julia#sasja jespersen#op#fh#sasja x julia#sasja x daniel
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Rotates sengoku n garp rotates sengoku n garp rotates sengoku n garp—
#{ ooc } ✗ 「 wenp reporter 」#tbd.#[ ignore this i am Very sleep deprived n having Many blorbo feelings#[ just when the serious guy n silly guy but also they balance n help n trust each other#[ and the friendship that is real but at times strained because of duty bc one is married to it and the other#[ is as well but lot less willingly but just needs the other in order to stay in check#[ and just Fleet Admiral and Marine Hero and the 'You two have led the navy together since rogers days' and the#[ garp asking sengoku to not let go or else he'd kill akainu#[ and the sengoku being stressed n frustrated with garp but letting him do his thing anyway#[ or at least closing his eyes bc they both know he already knows but he has to close his eyes or else he'd have to do something about it#[ just shaking them today has been a think ab blorbo and their bestie kind of day#[ just!!! Thinks ab them#[ one of the fic involving them i was writing that i never finished was heehoo garp does something n defects#[ and has conversation with sengoku where just 'lmao its me you had to have seen it coming' and 'no i didnt' and thinks ab that—#[ bc they trust and know each other or at least thats what they thoughtand thinks ab it in context where garp defects bc#[ in doing so he loses and backstab his closest friends and just thinks ab that in regards to someone who Values friendship highly#[ and also thinks a tsuru but thats another post and just!!@@#[ thinks ab old gen n relationships and tragedies#[ and goes to sleep gjskg
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lying face flat on the floor passed out, vatican trio and their "if i get news of you dying another time i'll fucking get you" and "please take care of my friend this time as well".
the way that their designs are both archetypes that suggest they're not super in touch with their emotions (aloof black-haired guy and airheaded jock) but they're in fact both so casual and vocal about how much tesilid means to them
#s-class heroine spoilers#vatican trio#thinking once again about how hestio and ephael are clearly very good friends to tesilid and about how#this is not necessarily good news considering his. regressions.#tapas comments sections being like 'oh nooo tesilid has to regress so many times and ailettes not there'#me shoving it all aside and being like 'AAAAAAA tesilid has his friends by his side but they dont remember what he does!!!!!!!'#thinking about that one post thats like can we be more insane about friendships. no more insane than that. no more than that#thats me im like yeah okay romance is cool only in the seventeenth is cool but what about being in every round that sucks#i think if friendship was a major theme in canon i would be more normal about this but unfortunately this doesnt seem to be the case#so ill just cook my own food.....#still. props to irinbi for including such wholesome friendships even if they arent the focus#man i want to write another vatican trio fic but i have no ideas or vibes in my head#i want to read another one of festering wound / the 2nd fic but like ive already written that fic#its already done why do i feel the itch to write another one like it#gngngngng i need the three of them to be less normal about each other#hestio & ephael i understand bc to their knowledge tesilid is fine he may have had a near death exp but he has a girlfriend now#not that having a girlfriend automatically erases trauma but he certainly did not appreciate them being around the two of them lmao#but like. shakes tesilid. can you be less normal about them. think about them in your head sometimes maybe#i know youve probably seen them everyday for the last [censored] number of years but please throw me a bone#i want to see hestio and ephael reacting to the knowledge that tesilid has regressed for god knows how long#wait thats the plot of the hestioreed fic maybe its time to go back to that#screw the prequel itll get done when it gets done....#hm thats also the plot of the genderbend au but that au has tesilette and im just kinda 😭 not interested in writing romance#or more specifically the falling in love process. i just want them already in the blender that is one sided pining
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🫵
yES to the galaxy-hood thing. "Nothing more scary than seeing the deep dark depths of space staring back and then realizing those aren't stars. They are Eyes" ABSOLUTELY. Danny being a lil eldritch, aLWAYS. He makes this voice have this slight distorting overlap when his hood is up, low and winding like the sound of a blackhole warping at the tail end of his words.
(when he talks about the accident, he jokes that he was sick of seeing the stars; he was ready to become one. And that's why the accident happened. "the universe knew i was ready to be a star, so it made me one".)
his scarf also like, working as an extra set of hands. An idea that came to me only AFTEr i hit reblog. It took practice and actively thinking about it at first, but now it's just second nature for Danny to manipulate his scarf grabbing things for him. Perfect for tripping people up, doing two things at once, messing with his friends, playfully bullying damian..., etc.
there literally isn't any in between. Danny will shamble over like a zombie because he hasn't slept in 72 hours thanks to ghosts, and then just flop into Kon's lap or lay across his shoulders. And Kon just has to accept (happily) that he now has a ghost boy in his lap. And he's as light as feathers regardless of kryptonian strength or tactile telekinesis, so carrying him around isn't an issue.
the bone apple-teeth was an idea that hit me and then immediately went to draw HAHA. Im so glad you like it just as much as i do, because I thought the same thing lhsadf. OH also, i meant to mention in the tags but forgot: i drew kon with heart eyes in the comic, but you cant really tell lol.
and i LOVE, absolutely love the idea of his hair merging into his ghost tail to look like a comet. thats a fucking BIG BRAIN take. incredible. wonderful. its somewhat manageable as a ghost but utterly terrible in his human form, an untamable mess of curls that drags on the ground. His friends call him Rapunzel more times than he cares to count.
There's more than one video in their phones of an absolutely grumpy danny post-fight, sitting in the bathroom or in one of their rooms, with curly, messy hair that drags three feet behind him. His arms are crossed, and every and any question thrown at him gets met with an unenthusiastic, embarrassed "hn". And standing right behind him, giggling up a storm, is Jazz or Sam with a pair of scissors and an incredibly wide smile on their face.
Danny has cut his hair before during times like these, when he gets back from patrol late. But he just takes the scissors and hacks it approximately at the same length he remembers it being, tosses the excess into the incinerator down in the lab, and calls it a night. Jazz has to go in and fix any uneven length for him later.
Jazz, Sam, and Tucker have so, so many blackmail pics. Pics that they are all too happy to share with Kon once he gets let in on the know. Kon loves them. (He takes the secret that Danny scowls the same way as his template to the GRAVE.)
BruHal would be SO funny for this. you're right, Hal would bully Bruce relentlessly for this.
Over 900 prompt
Okay I love the Danny is a clone of Batman aus but I've never seen this done.
Danny and Kon dating and Then Danny learning his parents cloned Batman thinking he is a ghost only to find out he isn't and kept Danny as their kid.
Just think of the hilarious reactions
Caue this immediately popped into my head.
Kon: *muffled screaming into Tim's couch*
Tim: ....you good?
Kon: danny is the clone of Batman
Tim: ...
Kon: I'm the clone of Superman
Tim:...
Kon: AND WE ARE DATING!
#oh i would LOVE to see what danny would look like in your style. sending you ALL the art vibes your way#am still thinking relentlessly about kon and danny specifically. like hi yes they are specifically the one meme image of the dude laying on#the ground and giving another guy thats closer to the camera the heart eyes. the context is that danny is talking shit about vlad masters#'i love when you threaten violence against another human being babe' 'vlad masters is NOT a fucking human being. he is a cESSPOOL'#danny wears black lipstick and eyeliner once. then he goes and visits kon. he is no longer wearing black lipstick. conner is wearing it all#his eyeliner is also smudged. kon looks incredibly smug.#also when danny gets mad - TRULY mad - his voice drops an octave. kon has a lot of feelings about this and none of them are TOS.#also me 🤝 you: originally being maribat fans. ME TOO BRO ME TOO I WAS AN OG. WAS IN THE SAME DISCORD AS THE CREATOR#AND EVERYTHING. WAS AN ADMIN IN THE SEQUEL SERVER AFTER THE CREATOR DELETED THE FIRST ONE#its where i met navistar carol lol. i dont have any of my aus posted here but they ARE on that server. and god do i have so many
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lightly defending Toshiro while also fully understanding Laois frustrations. as a bitch who let teachers call me the wrong name all through high school cos it was kinda funny
#toy txt post#i knew it wasnt their fault they just dealt with So Many Names and i couldve corrected them and i used to#but the thing is that it just kept happening w so many teachers??#so i was like fine whatever idc that much. but also they did usually remember my name if there was someone in the class who actually#had the wrong name they usually called me. i think bc it would stick in their heads more since they had to differentiate so instead of#looking at me and going [letter] name......[common name starting with that letter that isnt mine]#theyd look at me and go [letter name].....but theres 2 names in that class with that letter and theyre different and this one is Not the#easy more common one. [gets name correct]#what really would throw me is when theyd try a DIFFERENT but i think still more common name with the same letter and then lile#like*. sorry bud im not used to that one i cant help u there#my favorite was the print production teacher who USUALLY GOT MY NAME RIGHT (i think smaller class size helped?)#who called me the more common one that im not used to and then stared at me in puzzlement and he was like#why did i do that. thats not your name. and i was just like lmao idk bro#anyway. this has been a really annoying way to discuss this event without actually revealing my name but#its not quite a deadname now but like. as far as yall are concerned im Toy. if you know me irl you almost certainly know it tho#and if youve been following me long enough you could probably know it cos i was less careful about it when i was younger#if youre like burningly curious and we're mutuals u can dm me ig and ill tell u just dont call me that lol#oh if u have me on fb u know it for sure unless u forgot and you see me (rare and unlikely on fb) nd youre like who the fuck is that#it probably wouldnt be hard to guess even. but whatever. if u feel the need to guess (why) just do me a favor and do it via#dm or ask or smth lmao#ALSO: uhhh i try not to tag this anymore cos it feels like its not coming across the way its intended and it has a weird vibe to tag these#days but i feel like this post could use the 'Im a white person this experience im referencing is with a layer of white privilege#and i understand that for many ppl of color or ppl with non english names this happens and its less funny#altho i think due to the vastness of human experience there are probably ppl with non english names who have this happen but it doesnt#affect them strongly and they just laugh it off and part of me wonders how much of that has to do with how much you LIKE and Identify with#your given name WHICH i ALSO recognize can be a more nuanced experience for someone with a non english name thats like#got cultural significance ETC. okay THERE. the annoying disclaimer that pisses everyone off bc everyone HATES disclaimers now.#just imagine. i could be writing these disclaimers for a FICTIONAL ROMANCE BOOK IVE WRITTEN. and wouldnt#that piss you off more? new disclaimer to piss you off more: i understand this is my personal blog and im not obligated to provide a#fuck i was gonna do another disclaimer as a bit but i ran out of tags! fuck okay bye. youll have to make up the joke disclaimer
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Astro observations pt 1
Hey y'all this is my very first post :) Please take it with a grain of salt. These are just my interpretations and observations and a placement could mean million different things on how its being viewed and understood and nothing is sure on how it manifests for you in your chart.
Jupiter in 8th house can mean many things, one of them being your spouse would bring transformative experiences into your life.
2. Scorpio mercuries may have a tendency to over analyze what is being said or always wanting to read between the lines
3. I have seen Pluto in 5th house of all the people who's mothers were dominated. Though this can mean the other way around too, and could be that the mother was dominating.
4. I think other than most people saying Pluto 1st housers go a massive change in appearance, I think it could actually mean that their personality and persona goes a massive change at some point in their life, or its constantly being evolved through learning experiences
5. Venus in 1st house people, are extremely beautiful.
6. Check Asteroid fama (408) and industria(389) if any of these positively aspect your venus, you could get fame for your beauty or work within the beauty industry.
7. Most women with major scorpio/capricorn placements appear intimidating even though it might not be so...but they indeed hold themselves to high regards mostly
8. Having an earth rising in your SR can indicate having a calmer and a predictable year. Nothing chaotic or major. I had Taurus Rising in my SR and I had lost a lot of toxic/chaotic people in my life and things were stable and peaceful throughout. I was on a gap year so I did not make friends either hahaha
9. Having sun/moon in 10th house synastry or 10th house stellium could mean you both together are quite talked about or people are aware towards your feelings towards one another visibly. Sometimes it could also mean, you two's business isnt as private as you think lmao and people are aware on whats happening.
10. Having moon in 10th house in SR can indicate your emotions being extremely visible to everyone, even if you tend to hide them.
11. Libra mars people, might not come off as too masculine but rather a little more in tune with their feminine side (thats cool imo)
12. I think Moon in Gemini people often tend to say "I never said that" when they absolutely said that or "What do you mean" even when its clear what is being talked about lmao.
13. Leo women are usually very outgoing, charismatic and fun imo. Leo anywhere in the big 3 can mean that this side exists to the native though it might be overshadowed by other aspects in the chart. The types to dance at the empty dance floor and then suddenly everyone wants to dance lol
14. I was watching Nat Geo a long time ago and saw how lioness protect their children from the Lions and often go hunting. I think all mothers are protective of their children but for Leo women, its on another level lol. Also, they might like taking pride in their children and providing for their children. Not as in boasting, but just genuinely taking pride.
15. Cancer men and the love for their mothers. NEVER met a single cancer guy who did not have a lot of love for their mother.
16. Sag placements usually Sun and risings usually have a very comforting presence. Even it maybe like you met them for the first time, they can make you feel grounded and comfortable. Very non judgmental too.
17.If you have Saturn in 6th house, please try having a routine even if you might dread it lol
18. Capricorn moon men usually have very traditional or maybe orthodox beliefs about how women should be. I have seen that a lot.
20. Taurus Mars may like slow recreational activities like cooking.
21. Wanna know how you would react during a break up? See your moon+8th house sign. Example, a Leo moon with 8th house in cancer would be extremely emotional and everybody would know.
22. Girls with Libra Sun, Rising or MC may really like makeup and have good fashion sense.
23. Having your moon sign same like your mothers sun sign may indicate some kind of special connection between two of you. It could be that you understand her much better or could be that you don't get along at all too? idk there is something much special about it.
24. Sun in 10th house could mean your dad had a status in society. Could also mean, your birth could bring him luck in his career.
25. Jupiter in second house people usually come from wealth or hold potential to create generational wealth.
support me on ko-fi :)
That's it :) I hope it resonated with you all :)
#astrology#astro notes#astro#trending#manifesation#astro observations#astrology community#astro community#astrology observations#astrology notes#zodiac#zodiacsigns#birth chart#horoscope#lilacstro#lilacstronotes#lilacstro observations
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The night sky can only be overshadowed by a star (its star.). A star of all things, the one thing that cannot be allowed to see the night of the sky, angled to be hidden away behind dawn and dusk. The night leaves quietly (but is cursed to come back ; avoiding is just like following when an orbit is shared.)
A star can only go off explosively, spectacularly. (Then, collapsed in on itself, away from the world to see (finally part of the shadow the night cast) it seems the bare core is at peace with never bringing day back : darkness soothes.)
Gojo is like a star - bright, hot, shining. Geto is like the night sky - mysterious, deep, endless.
#how do you feel about the fact that a star can never see the night [edit : *i* feel unwell; im adding that to the post actually hah]#that end lol. Thankfully there are other stars out there... COUGHHH CouGH#« What's left over after a supernova explosion is a 'neutron star' – the collapsed core of the star –#or. if there's sufficient mass. a black hole »#-> my honest reaction : "NOOOOO YUTA DONTGET SUCKED IN [the black hole] NOOoOooO /j/j/j (ily gege(when i catch u tho?...))#overshadowed ;; overLIGHTED* in this case i guess coughg-#oh and consider this : gojo only became the sun at *honoured one* : thats when he stopped being able to see (understand. ect) geto.#i never see that as a bad thing anyways.. theyre so conplex i love them#gojo trusted geto sm unconditionally.... (geto same. i hate them actually#go be gay elsewhere cowards /j)#(death trap shonen is just not it... /j/j im patting jjk on the head rn 'ur doing great!..')#thought of more light / shadow stuff....... ugrghh#gahh analogies... yay???? (when i get started theres always more..--my best friend; hater of metaphors (both /gen and as a bit); would#likely strangle me if she were to read the bits in my stuff where i make connections (that make sense to me🥺🥺) and i take the#themes of whatever im trying to convey and shake them like maracass until my brain calms down#to her it may look like im microwaving 5min then airfrying then cooling then re-crispying in the oven a couple times until for her it just#looks like a burnt charcoal. : bon appétit motherfucker (-me)#(im exagerating)#(but at the same time not)#and also she loves me so shes forced to appreciate whatever comes out of my brain. (shes sooo able to match my freak i am not worried<3)#.......................i dont even like this poetic stuff that much but i always end up falling into an analogy trap ?????#and then bam thats a whole paragraph of poetic nonsense that makes sense to me™#i need to practice writing#ill make it good good good one day#trust 😌#ill find the(my) ideal balance#(watch out ao3 ! TT)#mybad ive lost control of the tags. goodday or goodnight wherever whenever you are (wow okay. day n night. bye)#zzzz zzz <- me (ciao)#i think i have too many tags. it deletes my “I LIED: HERES ANOTHER THOUGHT PROCESS” take... TT
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Thighs. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. Logan obsessed with reader's thighs. Give em some chub. Reader can be insecure or indifferent about them, both would be equally indulgent to read
-🌸👸
^^^You're going to try and tell me this man doesn't love thighs!?!?!
Oh Logan looooovvveeeesssss thick thighs. You can't tell me he doesn't want them wrapped around him in any sort of way, his head, his waist fuck he doesn't care. He truly believes thick thighs save lives, and he would always tell you how your thick thighs saved his life multiple times darlin
(I was going to do two different sections with an insecure and an indifferent reader but honestly he'd treat both of them the same in my head)
□ how could you be insecure!?! Logan will never understand 😪
□ will worship your thighs and cover them in hickies and bite marks
□ he is ALWAYS attached to your thighs in some way. He lays his head on your thighs all the time, especially when you want to play with his hair or after he had one of his nightmares. He'll move you so your legs are on his lap whenever you're sitting next to one another, his hands will always be rubbing them or pinch at them. He rolls his eyes when you smack his hand away before he puts his hand right back to where it was.
□ he will make you become indifferent to your thighs. Hell, after all the attention and clear desire he shows over them, they might become your favorite part of yourself
□ he will make you watch him as he marks his thighs. "eyes on daddy prince(ss)," he mumbles against your skin before he bites down hard enough to draw blood. You can always feel his smirk grow against your thigh at the broken moans that fall from your mouth as he continues marking your thighs.
□ whenever you are feeling more insecure and he'd catch you staring in the mirror at your reflection he would come up and kiss the back of your neck and say something like; "you're stunning darling". One these days he'd either have you put on his clothes and you'd have a little stay in date or he'd go pick out an outfit he thinks you'd look amazing in and take you out to dinner so he could show you off
□
□
Thats all I could come up with :/ Ik it's short but I hope you still enjoyed <3 I have so many more things I'm currently working on! Request are still open, if you've sent on and I haven't posted it yet I swear I'm working on it lol
Taglist: @mahi-tamashi @100percentlazybonez @lanassmarty @misscrissfemmefatale
#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett#wolverine fluff#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine imagine#wolverine x reader#wolverine#hugh jackman imagines#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#xmen fluff#xmen imagine#xmen#marvel imagine#marvel fluff#logan howlett headcanon
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lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3
i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:
Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.
Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey
My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time
The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.
One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain
I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬
I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho
That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Im recovering ❤️🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration
my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!
new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘
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#second: op you answered so many questions!!? thank you!! but that is a dangerous game bc now i have /more/ >:)
I will answer as many as I can!!! this is making me literally so happy lmao. And as I said before: if i don't have an answer to one, I'll mention it. (a lot of these are great because I can meditate on the answer and it lets me expand on the au more)
#aaah there is SO much heartache all around in this au!!#how you described the grief danny was feeling before he died - how dying with those emotions means he'll never be free of them? my heart </#just hit again with w how SAD dannys ghost form is in this au - and how will jason respond once he sees it?
I SAW THIS BEFORE I WENT INTO WORK AND MMMM. It made me think so much about my thoughts on how I wanted to expand a little more on his ghost form, and I just thought about adding how his Lichtenberg scars like, converge where his heart is. His left arm has the scarring. And then when you look at where his heart is, there's scarring over it, as if there's a hole there and his heart is missing. His grief has carried onto the afterlife, why not incorporate that into his ghost self more? Raaaa I want it to look like he's perpetually crying under his evil scientist goggles. (post-post addition: i drew it :))
Have you ever listened to 'The Moon Will Sing' from The Crane Wives? That's Danny with his grief over Jason. "The moon will sing a song for me/I loved you like the sun/bore the shadows that you made/with no light of my own/I shine only with the light you gave me"
I don't even know if I need to expand on his grief because we already know how it gets in canon. It's this heavy, destructive thing that hits hard and lasts long. Losing your entire family is different from losing a single person, but if that single person was part of a separate, two person family, then what difference does that make?
#and does he ever see danny fight - not as a scrappy street kid anymore but now trained and experienced! does he learn HE trained danny?
eventually! I can't think of an occasion (yet) where Jason would see Danny fight, but that can totally come later. Maybe if I get possessed again I'll write something. I've had a few ideas about how Danny reveals his ghost form but all of them verge more into the 'cracky, can really only be expanded on in dms cuz they don't follow the theme of the au' territory, and didn't feel satisfactory to the au.
#how would he feel after that declaration of dannys to kill joker? i'd be like wth did i tell him??? and why cant i remember!#poor jason already sweating bullets at the idea of admitting he's still alive after all this time - he has no idea where they even stand no#danny talked to his ghost? his actual ghost? how much does danny know? does he know he was robin? does he know he's HOOD? or about his mom?#there's so much he's wanted to tell danny - how much would he have said as a ghost with apparently nothing else to lose?
YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY IT. Jason watches Danny leave and he's trying to just. Process everything. From seeing his best friend in front of him, to remembering that Danny doesn't know he's Red Hood, to realizing that Danny has been grieving him for the last five years and that he was still grieving. And then Danny tells him that he talked to his ghost? And that he's gonna murder the Joker? Jason is just. He's processing. Your tags capture exactly that: his questions about what does Danny know?
#also: if danny is 19 - jason is 19/20 right? so tbh this is probably not long after his frankly suicidal murder rampage through gotham#so what - admit to danny thats... a lot to admit to
yeah I'll be totally frank I don't know enough about Jason during his Red Hood era to give much of a response to this. I only had a little idea that he even went on a rampage tbh 😅 but now knowing that he went on a murder rampage? Yeah he'd be even less inclined to tell Danny about him. Ignorance is bliss and all that -- even if Danny's ignorance to him being alive is causing him more harm than good. (Jason still doesn't even know that Danny's been searching for him yet).
#and i can kind of get why he might have kept fenton stuff from bruce. either the dr fentons are fine & good or theyre not#either admittance to bruce might feel like betrayel - esp if danny has never said in clear words : i want out of this family#and he must have known them at least a little. shared a small meal at their place? listened to a crazy speech? he might be defensive of the(m)
Oh yeah totally! If Danny hasn't invited Jason over at least once, then his parents have whenever they see him hanging out with Jason. And that brings up one of Jackdaw's tags -- that Danny knows not to touch his parents inventions. And I think even Jason knows that. He remembers whenever Danny's parents talked about repairing the toaster or the fridge, or making an invention with parts laying around the house, that Danny would always immediately drag Jason off to the other room. "I hate it when they do this." He'd complain, "their things are a safety hazard."
And then later he complains to Jason about how whatever invention his parents made or whatever thing they fixed blew up and set off their shit fire alarm and they had to evacuate the building. "I told you it was a safety hazard." He says, and then steals the cigarette from Jason's hands.
Jason knows that Danny wouldn't touch his parents things with a three hundred foot pole. Just imagine how he'd react to finding out that Danny willingly walked into his parents' broken, unstable portal with nothing but a hazmat suit only a week after his funeral :)
Post-posting addition: raaaa even better if Danny even tells Jason about their new lab basement after they move to the new house and Danny routinely mentions that he avoids going in there as much as possible because he doesn’t want to be around whatever half-baked safety hazard his parents have cooked up in case it explodes on him. Him not taking Sam and Tucker in there until after the funeral when the portal finishes.
#back to jason hearing the ghost talk: it was one thing to feel guilty about keeping away from danny who loved him -#but now after avoiding danny and amity he's faced with the proof that he's missed out on x amount of time w danny too#how much has changed in their time apart
I have nothing I can say about this other than I love it and the line "it was one thing to feel guilty about keeping away from Danny who loved him" because RA its so good, because Danny DOES love him. And not even romantically yet because platonic love ftw. Jason was part of Danny's family and all but his other half. His partner in crime. And YEAH Jason's missed out on so much, when he starts looking into Amity Park he's really going to see how much.
#one last thing: that danny avoided gotham bc he wants to kill joker but if he starts could he stop? makes me wonder... what changed?#was it really just a coincidence with vlad? or is he hoping to find jason's ghost in gotham?#or is he giving up again but this time he'll be sure to take out the clown with him?#bc telling THE RED HOOD his threat on the joker? yeah that feels like a challenge. a promise. like he's being too loose with his life again#and if he was afraid of turning into rath for all these years - a different name sure- but how did all that happen in this au?#same as canon? or was it jason related? both?? bc im p sure that happened roughly 6 months after portal incident too..... ;)
exhibit a of why i love these questions because it pushes me to expand my thinking of the au and in turn expand the au itself because when I was writing this initially I really didn't expect to think too hard on it. i mentioned in my first response that vlad's 'blackmailing' was just me coming up with an excuse to get Danny into Gotham unwillingly. I was possessed by the brainrot gods and spent four hours writing the initial post like a Man Possessed. And now we're here and I love it.
I need to sit on this answer, because I wasn't thinking about changing much about how TUE could differ from canon. But this is making me think SO much. I will totally try and get back to you on this after I mull it over. As well as Danny telling the Red Hood about going to kill the Joker and the Vlad thing. But in the meantime feel free to rant more because I love it and it gives me brainrot <3
Childhood Friends Danny and Jason
(cw underage smoking / smoking as a form of bonding) (cw Jason thinking Danny killed himself but its only for a moment) (cw depictions of murderous intent? Danny wants to murder the Joker and he's a little descriptive about it
This is… aha. Massive. Word count check: 9k+
this has probably been done before but hey, everyone loves a good trope and I wanted to share my take on this idea. 👏👏 So, Danny Fenton and Jason Todd being childhood friends. The Fentons lived in Crime Alley for a good long while during Danny's childhood. Nobody wanted to fund their research and Jack and Maddie struggled to keep any form of work for a multitude of reasons. Jack worked in construction due to his big build and Maddie had another job elsewhere.
Danny and Jason were friends during that time, really great friends. I'm not super solid on how they met yet but I do know it involves Danny committing petty crime and Jason deciding to jump in and help when he sees Danny struggling. Danny was distrustful (as all crime alley kids ought to be) but they eventually became thick as thieves, committing petty crime together.
While it's all too easy to make Danny the weaker one of the two with Jason protecting him, I actually really like the idea that they protected each other. Growing up (essentially) on the streets means Danny forcibly had to grow a backbone unless he wanted to get trampled all over. He is just as willing to scuffle with the bigger kids as Jason is, and he and Jason regularly fought each other whenever they needed to let off steam, or just because. They were a duo, having each other's backs in tough situations.
(Sometimes the pair of them would sneak out at night and try and get a glimpse of Batman and Robin while they soared through the air. It was like a game between the two of them to see who could spot the dynamic duo first. When they were a little older, Jason would steal his dad's cigarettes and share them with Danny while they searched for Batman and Robin)
So when Danny has to move away when they're eleven years old, it's pretty safe to say that Jason didn't speak to him for a week afterwards. Nothing Danny did could persuade him to otherwise, even when Danny insisted that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't want to move away either, but he didn't have a choice in the matter.
When the week was over, Jason climbed through Danny's window and sat in his room, dead silent and looking upset. he didn't speak until Danny fished out a stolen pack of cigarettes from his bed and handed one to Jason.
(It was a ritual they had where if one of them was upset about something but wasn't saying anything, the other one could then hand them a cigarette -- whether it be the one they were using or a new one -- and that would be an open invitation for the person to vent. The other one who handed him the cigarette wouldn't speak until the venter handed back the cigarette. Then back and forth it would go until the cigarette was gone.)
Jason ranted about how pissed he was about Danny moving, and they promised to try and stay in touch after he leaves. Neither of them had phones, but Danny was determined to send him a letters.
Danny moves to Amity Park and it's... an adjustment, that's for sure. He's angry, grumpy, upset, and every other negative feeling under the sun. He was going to a new middle school with new people he didn't know, away from all of the people he did know and away from his best friend.
(He does however keep his word about sending letters, and mails one out to Jason at the first opportunity.)
He refuses to get along with anyone, butts heads with the teachers, is combative, rude, and openly smokes in class -- which gets him plenty of detentions and a bad reputation. He speaks in a thick Gotham street accent and wears hand-me-down clothes that are too big and baggy on him. (His parents have yet to replace any of their wardrobes as they settle into their new life, and Danny is hesitant to spend the money to get new clothes.)
He only manages to befriend Sam and Tucker because one of the football kids was bullying Tucker and Danny stepped in. It was some blond jerk named Dash and when Dash threw the first punch, Danny broke his nose. Tucker found him later that day and reluctantly thanked him for his help.
Sam and Danny do not get along for the longest time. Sam questions Danny about his upbringing, his accent, his smoking. She judges him for talking back to the teachers despite doing it herself and for ruining his lungs with cigarettes. Danny tells her to fuck off, and when she tries to judge him and Tucker for not being vegetarian, he calls her a privileged brat.
Sam doesn't even look at him for two weeks after, and Danny refuses to apologize. Tucker is caught between a rock and a hard place as his old friend and new friend are feuding with each other.
They... sort it out eventually.
Danny and Jason send each other letters near religiously. Danny complains about Amity Park, and Jason complains about how Crime Alley isn't the same without him. Danny talks about the school and what he's learned, about Sam and Tucker, and how he's been getting into the astronomy books in the library. He steals Jason a book and sends it to him.
When Jason tells Danny that he was adopted by Bruce Wayne, Danny calls bullshit. There's no fucking way Bruce Wayne would even look at Crime Alley, regardless of his charity efforts towards it. But when he checks Gotham news later that week, he's hit in the face with every single news article announcing Bruce Wayne's newest ward; Jason Todd.
Cue freaking out. Jason talks all about living in Wayne Manor and what it's like there. He says that there's a monster library in a part of the house that Bruce says he has free reign over, and that Jason can have anything to eat as long as he asks Alfred to make it and it isn't a desert, and that he has his own monster-sized room that he got to pick out himself and decorate.
(When they both get phones, the first thing either of them do is add each other's numbers.)
When Sam complains about having to go to a Wayne Gala that her parents are dragging her to one weekend, the first thing Danny asks is if he can go with. It surprises Sam and Tucker; Danny was the last person they would have thought wanted to go with. HE hates the rich even more than Sam does. Danny stands firm in his decision, and refuses to elaborate.
"Besides." He says to Sam, with whom he's begun to get along with via 'the enemy of my enemy is a friend'. "Would you rather go alone or with someone you can tolerate?"
She brings him with and convinces her parents to allow Danny to come along, citing that she'll be on her best behavior if they do. They agree, and buy Danny a suit when he says that he doesn't have one of his own.
(He discovers that he hates wearing suit jackets and ties, but vests he doesn't mind. He doesn't like that he has to comb his hair back, but he does to make Sam's parents happy. They give him a crash course in etiquette that Danny's going to forget the next day, and soon enough off they go in a private jet to Gotham)
(he does not tell Jason he's coming.)
he feels mischievous and nervous as they touch down, his stomach swirling as Sam's parents usher them to a high-profile hotel that Danny's only ever dreamed about going into. He feels largely out of place as they walk through the lobby, and falls back on old habits: square shoulders, set jaw, make yourself look like the biggest person in the room.
They get ready in the hotel room, Sam's parents primp and preen for the night incoming, and Sam is dragged into it by her mother. Danny does only what's required of him, and fiddles with the sleeves of his fresh-ironed button-down that's been tailored to his body. He's itching for a cigarette, and didn't bring any with.
Sam's dad helps him with his tie, a bout of kindness that Danny doesn't think is one. Just obligation to prevent Danny from looking like a mess. Sam pesters him again about wanting to come, and his reasons for it, and Danny keeps mum.
He's stone-faced with anxiety as they get closer to the gala, and before they leave the limousine the Mansons rented Sam links arms with him. A form of solidarity that Danny needs as he squeezes their arms together and smiles weakly at her.
The paparazzi are loud, bright, and demanding, shouting questions over questions at them like overlapping tidal waves. Danny ignores them all and focuses on the front doors instead. Sam's parents whisper at the stairs that they are to greet the Waynes first, and Danny's heart leaps to his throat.
His heart is in his ears as they drift closer, Mister Wayne is preoccupied with another rich couple, smiling that charming billionaire smile that Danny saw on every billboard in Gotham, and then some in Amity Park. Getting so close to him feels unreal.
And there by his side is the one and only Jason Todd, who isn't even trying to hide the bored look on his face as he watches Bruce interact with the other adults. He's gotten taller in the year they've been away, and healthier. His hair looks like its been cut professionally and he doesn't look as street kid skinny.
Danny's arm, hooked with Sam's, tightens up, and he resists the urge to rush forward and hug Jason. He watches Jason's eyes sweep left, away from him, and then right, towards him. The air stills for a moment as their eyes lock.
Danny grins toothily at him, lopsided and playful in nature, and sees the moment Jason processes the sight before him. His arm starts slipping out of Sam's at the same time as an ecstatic smile stretches across Jason's face.
His lopsided grin fills out on the other end. "DANNY!" Jason yells, cutting off whatever Bruce Wayne and startling everyone within earshot. There's barely a moment for Bruce to look down when Jason shoves past him and runs at Danny.
Danny yanks his arm out of Sam's, "JASON!" He yells with just as much enthusiasm, and Jason nearly topples them right over when he collides with Danny. His arms wrap around Danny's shoulders, holding onto him tightly, and they're both laughing, spinning around like tops out of joy.
"You didn't tell me you were coming!" Jason cries, sounding accusing. Danny hugs him just as tightly, and laughs when Jason pulls away momentarily to punch his shoulder.
"I wanted it to be a surprise!" He defends, laughing between words as their spinning comes to a stop. They're both reluctant to pull apart, but they do and clutch the sleeves of their elbows tightly. "How could my best friend be adopted by the Bruce Wayne and have me not come confirm it with my own two eyes?"
"I sent you newspaper clippings!" Jason says, narrowing his eyes while his smile betrays his face. Danny quietly notices that his Gotham street accent is faded slightly.
"Oh that's what it was?" Danny's grin turns again, edging into a smirk. He feigns innocence, "I thought that was fire kindling." He has the newspaper clippings hung on the corkboard in his room, proud beyond words about his best friend.
Jason punches him in the shoulder again, hard enough to leave a bruise. "You jackass." He says, ignoring Danny's laughter even when he's holding back his own.
There's a soft, sharp clearing of someone's throat, breaking their attentions away from each other to the one that made the noise.
Bruce Wayne was a tall man, taller than Danny expected, and he looks exactly like his billboards. If less promiscuous than his perfume ads. Danny expects him to be upset with them both for disrupting his pretty rich gala, but instead he just looks gently amused, with an arched eyebrow. Overall though, he just looks fond.
Danny would be the first to admit that Bruce had taken in Jason as a charity case, something to fill the void after his other kid Dick Grayson finally moved out. But Danny’s a good judge of character — or he likes to assume he is — and those are not the eyes of a man who would take Jason in as a charity case. Those are the eyes of a man who actually, genuinely, cares about one Jason Todd.
The wriggly protective thing settles in his chest.
He doesn’t let go of Jason, but he does twist his smile into something a little more polite. Mister Wayne’s eyebrow arches higher, and he turns his blue-blue eyes onto Jason. “Who’s this, Jason?” He has that fancy Gotham Elite accent -- something that sounds like a mix between old transatlantic and faintly British -- that Danny's only heard in passing when he and Jason snuck up to the nicer parts of Gotham.
Jason stares at Mister Wayne, his grip on Danny tightens as his eyes flick to the other onlookers in the room. “This is Danny, B.” He says once his eyes turn back to Mister Wayne. “We grew up in Crime Alley together, he moved to Illinois last year."
Danny can see the uncomfortable expressions cross every rich person's face, murmurs sweeping across the room as soon their uncomfortable gazes turned judgmental and flinty. He's kept track of the tabloids after Jason's adoption, the ones calling him a charity case and looking down on him for being a street kid.
He inches a little closer to Jason, straightening up instinctively, as if they were back in Crime Alley and facing a pack of kids that didn't like them. He can see Sam's surprised expression from the corner of his eye -- he never told Tucker or Sam about where he grew up, although he's sure they had their suspicions.
He looks back to Mister Wayne and meets his blue-blue eyes, his smile has slowly begun to fade. Mister Wayne doesn't miss a beat however, and his smile stays plastered to his face. If anything, it gets a little softer, a little wider. "It's nice to meet you Danny -- Daniel? I'm so glad that Jason has a friend here." He holds out a hand.
Danny eyes him unsurely, and then takes his hand. "It's jus' Danny, Mister Wayne." He says, some of his old accent slipping through as he shook his hand firmly. He would have done it harder, but this was Jason's new guardian, and from Jason's letters he didn't sound too bad. "It's, uh, nice to meet you too. Jason's told me lots about you."
Mister Wayne's brows jump momentarily, he looks intrigued. He looks between Danny and Jason, and claps his hands together softly. "Well, Jay, how would you like to stay with Danny for a while, hm? I'm sure you too have a lot to catch up on."
Hope simmers in Danny's heart, and he glances to Jason to see that same hope on his face. "Really?" He asks, and Mister Wayne nods with a laugh.
"Of course! How could I keep two friends apart? Go on ahead, chum. I'll come get you when the gala ends."
And just like that, Bruce Wayne leaves Jason with Danny, diving back into a conversation with one of the rich gothamites and taking the attention with it as if he were the sun and everyone else a planet orbiting him.
Danny and Jason share grins, and throw their arms around each other with laughter. Danny is on cloud nine, pressing his nose into Jason's shoulder and breathing him in, fingers digging into the back of his suit hard enough to leave wrinkles in his jacket.
Sam demands answers when they finally, for real this time, pull apart. Why didn't he tell her that he was friends with Jason Todd!? Danny slings his arm around Jason's shoulders and keeps him close, and tells her that it was because he wanted it to be a surprise.
Sam's parents have unreadable expressions on their faces, part greed -- Danny is their in to the elusive Bruce Wayne -- and part disdain -- a Gotham street rat. Danny ignores them, they're unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
He introduces Sam to Jason, and Jason to Sam. And off they go to a corner of the room near the buffet table where they can eat and shit talk everyone else in the room in peace.
At some point in the night Sam is called back to her parents to meet some other fancy rich kids her parents want her to get along with, and Danny and Jason go off to the west end balcony to avoid anyone who may try and approach the new Gotham ward.
Danny hops up onto the balcony railing, kicking his feet as Jason pulls a cigarette pack out of his inner jacket pocket, and grins. "Don't tell Bruce," he says, handing the box to Danny first. "He's been trying to get me to quit."
"Hah!" Danny takes one just as Jason slips out a lighter. "That sounds like Jazz. She's been trying to get me to stop since we moved to Amity." Granted, she's been trying ever since she found out before they moved, but now she was even more insistent. "She hasn't found my stash yet."
At the end of the night when the Mansons are leaving and Danny has to leave with them, he walks back to Mister Wayne with Jason to tell him that he's leaving. Mister Wayne mourns his going, and tells him that he's always able to come visit.
"Any friend of Jason's is always welcome to the manor." He says with a blinding grin, pulling Jason close to his side and squeezing him tight. Jason's nose scrunches up, but he doesn't push away.
It becomes a new routine for them. The Mansons are all too happy to bring him with to the Wayne Galas (of which they start receiving more invites to due to their connection with Danny) and Danny is all too happy to spend the evening with Jason again. No matter what, they always end up on the balcony at some point in the night.
And, eventually, Danny is invited to stay at Wayne Manor either for a weekend or for a break. He jumps at the chance when winter break rolls around and his parents start their debate over Santa Claus again.
Danny and Jason stay up late into the night talking or playing video games during their sleepovers, and in the warmer nights they climb out and onto the roof to stargaze. Danny points out constellations - - things he can find in neither Gotham or Amity -- and rambles on and on about space.
There are plenty of times during the Wayne Galas that the event gets attacked by a rogue. More often than he'd like he loses Jason in the crowd, and has later stopped Robin or Batman in his panic to find him.
The first time it happened, he was in tears with terror. He grabbed onto Batman's cape, stopping the man from going back in as he babbled that his Jason Todd was still inside, that he disappeared during the chaos and he couldn't find him. Batman took his hands and calmly told him that he'd find Jason for him, and that he was sure he was okay, but he needed to calm down.
He found Jason later once everything had calmed down, and he screamed at him for disappearing during a rogue attack, if he ever did it again he'll kill him. Then he cried.
The second time it happened, Danny didn't even realize that Jason was gone until everything was already over. They'd been separated before the attack happened. He stopped Robin and Batman before they could leave, trying to keep his breathing under control as he asked again, if they had seen Jason Todd.
"That- that asshole keeps fucking ditching me when these things happen." His voice has an embarrassing wobble in it. "Please-- please tell me you've seen him, that he's alright."
Robin this time steps up to reassure him, that Jason Todd was out of the building. He got him out. "He's probably looking for you too, uhhh..."
"Danny" Danny says, and eyes him up and down. "You're the new Robin right?"
Robin stilled up, and Danny could understand it a little. He'd seen the thoughts on the new Robin online. He wasn't very popular at first. Robin nods curtly, and Batman was shuffled a little closer to him, almost protectively.
Danny grins at him. "Cool." He says, "Me and Jay used to sneak out onto the rooftops sometimes to try and spot Batman and the first Robin, we made it a game." He holds out a fistbump, "Thanks for doing what you do, man. I might not live in Gotham anymore, but I mean it. You're a living legend."
Robin looks like there's something stuck in his throat, and after a beat he returns the fistbump tentatively. "Th- uh, thanks." He stumbles out awkwardly, and then turns away, "Me and B- uh, better go."
Before Danny could even respond, Robin already had his grapple in hand and was grappling away. "You too, Batman." Danny says before Batman can follow.
When Danny sees Jason after that, and weight lifts off his chest and he hits him in the arm again. And then complains that he should have gotten Batman and Robin's autograph, it would have been epic.
By the fifth time it happens, Danny is cussing up a storm when Robin saves him, cursing out Jason and claiming that he needs to put that boy on a fucking leash. "We're a duo!" He scowls when Robin gets him outside, "I got his back, he has mine! I can't have his back when he's got no back to fucking have."
The eighth time it happens, Danny gets held hostage by one of the henchmen. He's become a recognizable friend of the Waynes, and when the Waynes are nowhere to be found, then the next best thing was up to offer. Danny isn't even mad this time around -- just relieved that Jason was fucking off somewhere where he couldn't get hurt.
Robin, however, seemed furious when he arrived, and broke the hostager's jaw with a single flying kick to the face. Jason found him rapidly quick soon after the situation had settled, and apologized over and over again.
Danny slings an arm around his shoulder and laughs that it was fine, Robin saved the day! His legs were shaking with the worn off adrenaline, something he tried to hide from Jason. "I'm just glad it was me instead of you, Jay." He grins. Jason looks like he swallowed a toad.
Jason stops disappearing as often after that, sticking close to Danny's side until the attack was over.
When Danny is fourteen, Jason dies, and his world unravels.
He calls the manor on a late night in April after Jason had stopped responding to his texts. Danny knew that Jason was just recently in a fight with Bruce, but he knows that Bruce loves Jason. He would know where he is, right?
When he calls, Bruce answers with a hoarse "hello?" as if he'd been crying all day, and Danny's blood turns to ice. The anxiety he'd been feeling beforehand doubles in size, and he feels himself stammering.
"Mister- uh- Mister Wayne? Um, I'm calling because Jason--" he hears Bruce inhale sharply on the other line, and his anxiety skyrockets into fear. "--hasn't been answering any of my texts and- and I'm gettin' real worried."
There's silence on the other end, and Danny feels a rock forming in his throat, gross and heavy like he was on the verge of throwing up. "Mister- Bruce? Mister B?"
There's a shaky breath, and then Bruce's voice crackles through the phone. "Um-- Jason, he, he's--" there's a sound like rustling, "he's been killed."
Danny's vision whites out with skyrocketing terror, his mind skidding to a stop. His body rapidly grows hot, and then chills, like a blacksmith striking a heated weapon. "What?"
When the phone call ends, Danny screams himself hoarse. Jazz and his parents come running into his room, his parents equipped with ghost weapons. Instead, they find Danny curled up in his bed, sobbing hoarsely.
Danny almost -- almost -- refuses to attend the funeral, nearly paralyzed with grief. Jazz coaxes him to go, to find closure if anything else, and he drags himself out of bed to go.
He feels numb the entire time. It's closed casket, so he can't even see him for one last time before Jason is buried in the ground. He's silent, and if he think he looks bad, then Bruce looks even worse, like he hadn't slept since Jason died and worse.
Danny grabs his sleeve before he leaves, and when Bruce turns to him with a dull look in his once vibrant eyes, he clings to him tightly. And cries. Bruce clings back just as tight, Danny feels tears drip into his hair.
"Who did it." Danny whispers, voice too hurt to speak any louder, when he pulls back. His fingers curl around Bruce's jacket tightly, desperately. His eyes hurt with tears. "You said he was murdered, B. Please, who did it."
Bruce looks down at him, and for the first time it really does feel like he's looking down at him. His face is blank, and his eyes close in grief. There is no answer, a silent no.
Danny's face twists up all ugly like, and he shakes Bruce's jacket. "Bruce, please. Tell me who did it."
Bruce refuses, his face full of grief.
Danny never returns to Gotham.
Prior to Jason's death and post their reunion, Danny had slowly begun to improve in school. He started caring more, he was putting in more effort, he was doing his homework and was actually enjoying class. There was the bullying from Dash and the A-Listers, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he was ignoring them for the most part.
Come Monday after the funeral, and Danny breaks Dash's nose when he starts up with his shit. He withdrew into himself, and it was like he was back to square one again, except this time it was much worse.
Everyone knew Danny was close friends with Jason Todd. So when news of his death finally reached the ears of Amity Park, the students of Casper High School kept their distance.
That following Friday, Danny dies in the portal and comes back. A month later he becomes Phantom, the ghost-fighting ghost. the ghost Phantom wears his hazmat suit partially undone, showing a tanktop he didn't wear in death under the initial suit while the sleeves are tied around his waist. Vicious, glowing lichtenburg scars travel up his arm and neck and torso, covering half of his face while a pair of scientist-like goggles covers his eyes. He's bitter and angry, showing off his death.
Look at me, Phantom's form says, I am a dead child. Look at me look at me look at me. Mourn me. I am a dead child. LOOK AT ME. MOURN ME.
A few weeks later he enters the ghost zone and realizes that he could find Jason. And he spends a weekend scouring the ghost zone for him. He finds Gotham in the zone, and rather than finding Jason, he finds Robin.
Danny didn't know he'd died. And he flies towards him, asks him if he's seen Jason, reveals that it's him, Danny Fenton. Robin stares at him, mouth agape, and peels off his mask to reveal Jason Todd.
They both cry, and when Danny tells him how he died, Jason looks pale in the face. "You didn't- you didn't kill yourself because of me, did you?"
Danny fervently denies it. No, no. He didn't, he didn't. It was an accident. Totally unrelated. But enough about that, what the hell happened? Bruce wouldn't tell him anything at the funeral.
Jason clams up, his ghostly face losing its color, and Danny curses himself. He tells Jason that he doesn't have to tell him, he doesn't have to say anything. They sit in silence.
"It was the Joker." Jason says.
That's all Danny needs to know. He nods quietly. 'I'll kill him.' He thinks to himself, a stubborn set in his jaw. "Okay."
It had always been a plan; a thought wriggling in the back of Danny's mind ever since Bruce told him that Jason had been killed.
Not died. Killed.
Danny wanted the fucker dead the moment he realized it. He just needed to know who did it. He thinks Bruce knew it too, could probably see it in his eyes the moment Danny asked him who did it. He isn't sure if he should hate Bruce more for keeping it from him now.
They spend hours together, just soaking in each other's presence. Danny tries to take him through the ghost portal, to bring him back to the land of the living. But much like Kitty, Jason's form is tied to the zone. Danny promises to visit every day.
And he does. Or he tries to. The grief doesn't go away, but with the comfort of knowing that Jason was on the other side, Danny feels a little better. He tells Jason about being Phantom, and Jason helps train him. It feels like they're kids again and are fighting just because they want to. Its a bout of familiarity in a place that feels unfamiliar. All they need are cigarettes.
And then six months later he loses him again. Danny scours the ghost zone for him for the second time, and this time he doesn't find him.
His haunt is still in the zone though. He didn't move on. He's still here, somewhere.
Danny is convinced that Jason was in the Elsewhereness, and looks for him in between ghost fights and his social life. He visits Jason's haunt every day, knowing that Jason should be able to feel when another ghost enters his home. He does not show up.
(He never thinks that Jason came back to life, and Jason doesn't remember his time in the ghost zone)
When Danny is nineteen, Vlad Masters blackmails him into going to another Wayne Gala. Begrudgingly, Danny goes. He's taller than he used to be, having inherited his dad's monstrous height and his mom's leanness. He has piercings, some of them he got after a lost bet from Sam and Tucker, and he's given himself an undercut.
He still prefers vests over suit jackets, and he still smokes. A little less than before, he sneaks a pack into his pocket before he leaves, along with a lighter. Vlad gives him a dirty look the whole time - he knows.
"Don't give me that look." "That stuff kills, you know" "I'm already dead."
It's like deja vu when he arrives; an awful bout of deja vu, that is. The paparazzi is still as bright and loud and annoying as it always was, and they don't recognize him at all. Something he thinks of as a soft mercy up until one of the reporters asks Vlad who he is.
Vlad smiles and tugs Danny into the camera frame, "Why, this is my godson!" He crows, and shoots Danny a look that is downright smug I'm sure many of you may know him as Daniel Fenton?"
If looks could kill, Vlad would be ash. Danny isn't quite sure why he still agreed to this -- blackmail or no. He felt itchy being in Gotham; jumpy. He's never forgotten his vow to kill the Joker, in fact it was something he still desperately wants.
But the threat of Rath, the name he chose for his evil future self, haunts him just as much as his murderous intent. If he kills the Joker, would he stop?
Danny's almost afraid of what he'll do if he ever lays eyes on the Joker in person. He doesn't think he'll be able to stop himself from wrapping his hands around that stupid clown's neck and watching the light leave his eyes.
He pushes the thoughts to the side, and smiles lopsidedly as cameras and microphones flood his face, reporters yelling over themselves as they clamor to get a shot of the old Wayne family friend.
Danny turns and walks inside without answering a single question, flexing his fingers in and out of fists. Vlad gracefully hurries after him, and Danny can hear his glare burning into his back.
"You told me to come," Danny hisses to him once he's beside him, meeting Vlad's gaze piercingly, "not that I should play nice."
"Don't embarrass me, Daniel." Vlad hisses back, trying to look the upmost calm as eyes turn onto them. "I'll make you regret it."
"You embarrass yourself, fruitloop." Danny shoots back, walking away before Vlad could get a retort in. He sees Bruce Wayne on the other side of the room.
His heart seizes with nostalgia. He hasn't seen Bruce since Jason's funeral, hasn't spoken to him either. He doesn't know how to feel about him, but he'd been keeping tabs on Bruce both as himself and as Batman.
Danny's feet carry him forwards before he can think about it, silently weaving between the throng of rich people vying for his attention. It's only when he gets closer does he see the little shadow clinging to his side: Damian Wayne.
The newest little bird, Danny realizes, and stifles a smile at the surly expression on Damian's face as two older women coo over him. He reminded him of Sam, who had long since stopped coming to these things the moment she was able to.
The feeling of eyes on him turns Danny's attention away from Damian, and instead finds them back on Bruce's, who stares at him with a little furrow between his brows. As if he recognized him, but he wasn't sure from there.
Danny grins crookedly the moment he's within earshot. "Mister B!" He exclaims, slipping into what remained of his Gotham street accent. Recognition flashed in Bruce's eyes, and the man smiled widely. "Long time no see, old man."
"Danny," Bruce says, his name breathing out like relief. He slips between the crowd surrounding him -- who are now watching Danny -- and pulls Danny into a close hug. "It's good to see you again."
Danny hesitates for a moment -- he wasn't expecting Bruce to hug him -- and returns the gesture. "It's good to see you too, Bruce." He admits. Bruce was still using the same cologne that he did when Danny was a kid. He blinks heavily.
He pulls away quickly, clapping Bruce lightly on the shoulder as Damian quickly latches onto his father's side again. Damian glares daggers at him, fingers digging into Bruce's pantlegs like a possessive little kid.
He made Danny's ghost sense tingle in the back of his throat, creeping up slowly like a spider before stopping suddenly before it reached his mouth. It hummed, and then disappeared.
Danny smothered a frown. Since when did Batman work with ectoplasm? “This must be Damian." He says to Bruce, and holds out a hand to Damian -- he doesn't crouch, he had a feeling that Damian would be less than appreciative if he did that. "You've really expanded the nest since the last time I saw you."
Damian's eyes narrow at him. Bruce laughs lightly, "Ah yes, Tim is around here somewhere. I'm sure you'll see him soon."
"Father," Damian says, his voice layered with an accent. He glares up at Danny with piercing green eyes. "How do you know this man?" He sounds distrustful, Danny respects that and drops his hand.
"This is Danny Fenton." Bruce says, and Danny lets him introduce him. "He was Jason's friend."
An expression similar to bewilderment flashes briefly over Damian's face, and he eyes Danny in disbelief. "Todd had friends?"
Oh. So that's how he wanted to be. Bruce had a little elitist on his hands. Danny's smile drops like a deadweight, and any lingering endearment he had hardens like ice in his chest, fury slowly taking its place like a flickering candlelight. "It's not polite to speak ill of the dead, Mister Wayne." He says coldly, his voice made of chips of ice.
Damian blinks, the disbelief disappearing from his face. The closest thing to a recoil Danny thinks he's going to get. He doesn't care. No one speaks about his best friend that way.
"I grew up with Jason, actually." He continues, breathing in slow and deep, trying to keep the ghostly possessive-protective-rage under control. "I was his best friend."
He turns, almost robotically, towards Bruce, and tries not to look so angry. "I'm going to go find Tim, Mister B." He says, and tries to offer up a weak smile for the man. It comes out as a grimace instead.
"And..." he pauses, flicks his eyes towards Damian, and then looks at Bruce. "I'll... try and keep in contact, B. Tell Dick I said hi, alright? I'll see you in a little bit."
Bruce nods, looking vaguely disappointed and sighing slow through his nose. Danny walks away as Bruce turns to address his youngest, and doesn't bother listening in on what he has to say.
He does, eventually, find Tim Drake. He spots him in a crowd instantly - it's hard not to, and he makes his way over to him. He's not sure Tim Drake would recognize him, Bruce didn't at first and Danny had been around him constantly.
Except Tim Drake does recognize him, much to Danny's surprise. They lock eyes and Tim immediately makes his way over to him. "Danny Fenton!" He says and stops in front of him, "What a surprise, we weren't expecting you tonight."
"Tim Drake," Danny replies, smiling a little as his earlier hurt begins to fade away. "I'm surprised you know me."
"There are pictures of you in the manor with Jason." Tim explains, stuffing his hands into his pockets with an easy-going smile. "It's hard not to know you."
"It’s hard not to know you too,” Danny retorts, a sly smile slowly spreading across his face. “Although you’re a lot taller than you used to be, when you were lurking around Bruce and Jason and I.”
Ohhh Danny recognizes him alright. One part due to all the news articles and tabloids on him after he was adopted by Bruce, and the other part because he remembers the little shadow lurking near plants pots and table legs that used to follow him and Jason around at galas just like these.
Knowing that Jason was Robin, he wonders if Jason knew he was there too.
The effect is immediate: Tim’s eyes grow comically large, and a red tint glows at the tip of his ears as he shrinks back like a turtle trying to hide into its shell. “You— you noticed that!?” He hisses.
“I did!” Danny grins, large and wide, stifling a laugh as the red tint spreads over Tim’s cheeks and nose. He looks mortified. Danny coos. “Aww, I thought it was adorable that Jason had a little shadow. I’m sure he would have loved you if you had just come over and said hi. He had a big soft spot for kids.”
Tim snorts and it— it almost sounds derisive? “Sure he would.” He looks sad, and the mirth in Danny’s chest shrivels up like a flower without light. The smile fades from his face, and all that’s left is a strange, staunch reminder that Danny and Bruce weren’t the only ones that probably mourned.
He touches Tim’s shoulder lightly, “Hey, I’m sorry.” He says, trying to look as apologetic as he feels. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry, I miss him too.” Like a fucking limb he missed him.
There’s something that flickers in Tim’s eyes, passing through too fast for Danny to realize what it is. He assumes its gratefulness, because Tim relaxes a little and offers him a weak little smile. “I wish I had talked to him.”
Danny sees an out and takes it, he forces out a short laugh, grinning widely. “I can tell you all about him if you’d like,” he offers, “I told Mister B I’d keep in touch anyways. I’ve missed him and Alfred quite a lot in the last few years.”
“Not Dick?”
“That dipstick wasn’t around often enough for me to form any sort of emotional attachment to him.” Danny says in a half-complaining tone, placing his hands on his hips. “Although I did like his puns.”
Tim snickers, “I’ll tell him you said that then. Nobody likes his puns.”
“Go on ahead,” Danny grins, laughter swirling in his chest and making his core thrum with warmth. Damn, he’s missed this family. “I stand by my decision. Puns are funny.”
“Let’s get a photo then.” Tim says with a hand already fishing in his pocket for his phone. “He’ll be devastated to know that you were here and he didn’t get to see you.”
“Sure.” And Danny sidles on next to Tim, throwing an arm around his shoulders — and making a noise of surprise when his arm was able to fit comfortably — as if he was just resting it on a counter.
He totally forgot how tall he was compared to Tim. Forgot that he’d been looking down the entire time they’d been talking. “Why’d I get my dad’s height.” He complains, and bends his knees as Tim raises the phone with the front-facing camera on.
Tim snickers under his breath, and takes the picture while they’re both smiling wide. Danny immediately stands up, and peers over Tim’s shoulders to look at the picture.
It’s a good one, with the fringe of Danny’s curls falling slightly over his left eye and making the dimple on his right cheek more prominent. He could see the barely-there smattering of freckles he had across his nose, the ones that became more prominent when the sun was out. His smile was lopsided, Danny’s favorite kind of smile.
He whistles lowly, “That’s a good one,” he says aloud, and smiles impishly at Tim when he looks at him. “You should send that one, I look hot in it.”
Tim snorts, his ears reddening as he looks down at his phone. “Yeah sure, no problem.” He says quickly, and Danny looks away when he pulls up the messenger app. He’s never felt comfortable looking over people’s shoulders when they were on their phone.
“I’m gonna go take a smoke break.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and curls his fingers around the box and lighter inside. “I’ll—“
“Be on the west-end balcony.” Tim finishes, the red in his ears darkening as he glances up from his phone to smile embarrassedly. “I know.”
Danny snorts, “Okay.” His voice is thick with amusement. “Let me know how Dipstick reacts, alright?” He backs up slowly, awaiting Tim’s response. Tim merely waves a hand at him, a weak gesture of “yeah yeah” that makes Danny grin before he flips around and marches towards his favorite smoking balcony.
———————
(Tim pulls up the family group chat and loads the selfie into the text bar. His face feels warm with embarrassment even as his thumbs fly across the screen.
Tim: look who i found at the latest charity gala :) [image]
Hee awaits eagerly a response, and finds he doesn’t have to wait long. Dick’s thought bubble appears on screen, then Cass’s — of which it only exists for a moment before disappearing.
Dick: holy shit, is that who i think it is?
Tim responds quickly, and his message sends.
Tim: yep. He wanted me to tell you that he thinks your jokes are funny.
Dick: they are funny
Tim rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment, really thinks. He weighs his pros and cons. And then his fingers fly across the screen again.
Tim: hey Jason are you not gonna say anything?
There’s no response for all of thirty seconds — of which it stretches on to an uncomfortably long minute — and then Jason’s thought bubble appears.
Jason: what do i have to say to a bunch of idiots blowing up my phone in the middle of patrol?
Tim: harsh. do you recognize the guy in the photo?
Jason’s response is instant. Too fast for him to have actually looked at the photo itself. He’s just trying to spite Tim then. Tim doesn’t care, he has the upper hand here
Jason: no and I don’t care, i have patrol
Tim knows he didn’t look at the photo, and yet he can’t help stifle a shit-eating smile and feign innocence
Tim: really? You and Danny used to be so close, color me surprised
His teeth dig into his lower lip, he doesn’t need to in order to hide a smile. But it gives him something to do. Jason is worryingly silent for a long, long time, and Tim can almost imagine him staring long and hard at the selfie. Tim knows he will be later.
Finally, Jason’s text bubble shows up. It exists for a long time, before finally Tim’s phone buzzes with his message alert.
Jason: that’s danny?
Tim feels all too gleeful. Smugness swirling in his chest like kicked up sand as he types his response: yep! Apparently he showed up today, although I’m not sure with who since I don’t see Miss Manson around here.
Damian: Father says to get off your phone, Drake. We are at a Gala and your behavior is most unbecoming
Tim: can it demon spawn, I was just telling Jason that his friend Danny is here
Damian: He can’t be too important if he doesn’t even know Todd is alive
Tim: how would you know that?
Damian: When Father introduced him as Todd’s friend, I expressed my surprise that Todd even had friends, considering how unpleasant he can be. Fenton became quite cross with me after that and quickly excused himself thereafter
Dick: you said what!? Damian that’s not okay
Damian: Father made that quite clear after Fenton left in a huff. My mistake for thinking that Todd had told his ‘supposed best friend’ that he was alive.
Dick: he didn’t even tell us we were alive at first
Damian: He did eventually, didn’t he? Clearly Todd doesn’t seem to care too much about Fenton if he hasn’t even informed him of his being alive at this point.
Jason’s thought bubble quickly pops up, and then dissipates, then pops up again. Tim quickly pockets his phone before he can see Jason’s response. He doesn’t feel smug anymore, just uncomfortable.)
———————
Stepping out onto the west-end balcony feels like a blast from the past. A painful one at that. Danny’s fingers dig into his cigarette pack, and he pulls it out with a sense of bittersweet familiarity.
It feels like a lifetime ago that he once stood here with Jason. The package clunks dully as his fingers scrape against the side, and he fishes a cigarette out of the box before stuffing it back into his pocket.
“Quite the night isn’t it.” He says to nothing, to ghosts of the past, to himself. He turns and sits on the railing, sticking his legs out like a tripping hazard while Gotham’s hot city wind blows through the air.
He looks up and only sees the ugly pollution yellow sky looking down at him. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to him. He loves the stars and yet when faced with a smog that covers it, he feels more at home.
Danny’s fingers find the lighter, and with a few clicks a small open flame appears in existence. There’s a poem here, he can feel it. But he feels too tired to find it.
The cigarette lights, and the lighter dies in response. Returning back to his coffin-like pocket until he needs to use it again. He pulls a leg up, resting his chin on his knee with a heavy, tired sigh.
He soaks in the sounds around him. The ugly city warmth nips at his jaw. The music inside is muffled by the force of two glass doors and walls on all four sides, and Danny can hear late night traffic coming by on the road nearby. It’s a special kind of ambience you can only find on the west end balcony.
Half a decade ago, Danny had played a part with that ambience with Jason. Now it was just him, and Jason was nowhere to be found. It left a hopeless kind of feeling in his chest. An all-suffocating kind of fear that filled him head to toe with an intensity only ghosts could have.
His body winds up like a spring, and Danny holds his breath. When he exhales two minutes later, the spring stutters and jolts, and his body relaxes with a tremble.
He misses Jason. He misses Jason.
Ghosts are emotional creatures. They feel it from their crown to their soles. And emotional wounds never really heal. They scab over and fester, waiting to be picked at again and again so it can bleed as fresh as it did when it first opened.
Danny’s grief is never going to go away, he thinks. It’s clung to him like a parasite; shaped him and molded him. The wound was too close to him when he died, and now it will stay with him forever.
He opens his eyes when his ghost sense tingles, a heavy feeling in his throat that is neither nicotine nor grief. It’s just like Damian’s, but stronger. Potent. Older. It reaches the top of Danny’s throat and sits at the base of his tongue, like a hand about to suffocate him.
He looks up, cigarette hanging off his lips, and the Red Hood drops down beside him. He stands in the same spot Jason once did, and that alone makes the ghostly core in Danny seize possessively.
Don’t you dare stand where he stood, it hisses, coiling around his lungs like smog. Danny grits his teeth and feels his ghost sense evaporate. He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth, and nicotine smoke pours out like a cheap version of his ghost sense.
“Red Hood.” He says plainly, his free hand coiling and uncoiling like cat’s claws against the railing. “A surprise to see you here.”
Danny knows through process of elimination who most of the Gotham vigilantes are: Dick is Nightwing, Bruce is Batman, Tim is Red Robin, Damian is Robin, and Cass is Orphan. There are a few who he doesn’t know, however. Like Batgirl and Red Hood.
It’s fine, he doesn’t need to know. Danny of all people understands the importance of a secret identity.
Red Hood doesn’t say anything, just stares at him as if he’s a deer in headlights. His body all tensed up like he isn’t sure what to do now that he’s here in front of Danny. Like he wasn’t expecting Danny to be here at all.
Danny’s brows furrow. “Sorry, am I in your spot?” He asks, and begins to push off the railing. “I didn’t think vigilantes used the Wayne Hall west-end balcony, I can leave if you want.”
He’s already begun to move towards the door.
The Red Hood lurches in his spot, “No!” He yells, and Danny stops in place with raising eyebrows. Red Hood’s fingers cringe, and he straightens up.
He’s shorter than Danny, he notes. Which isn’t much of revelation. Everyone is shorter than Danny.
“No,” Red Hood repeats, sounding sturdier than before, “No. You’re fine. I’m just stopping here for a quick rest before resuming patrol.”
…Danny doesn’t question it. It’s none of his business about other vigilantes and their practices. He shrugs and breathes out more smoke, “Alright.” He says, and walks back over to the railing to sit on it. “I’m Danny, by the way.”
The Red Hood nods, and a silence falls over them. Danny doesn’t care enough to make it feel uncomfortable, but the Red Hood seems unsettled by something. Lost in thought. He leans his back against the railing similar to Danny, and then switches a few seconds later to a new pose.
He does it again, and again, and again. Until finally he flips over and leans his stomach against the railing, arms resting against it. It is starkly like what Jason used to do, and Danny stares at him long and hard.
He frowns. And says nothing.
When Danny’s cigarette is nothing more than a butt of nicotine, he crushes it in his hand and watches the ash flutter down to the ground. The heat stings his hand, but its nothing his ghostly healing can’t fix.
The Red Hood is already holding out another one when Danny’s hand drifts to his pocket for the box.
Danny stares at him, sudden wariness opening up like floodgates that sit at the bottom of his stomach.
His frown deepens, his eyes flicker up and down at Red Hood. His hands hover over his pocket. “I have my own.” He says, and watches subtly as the Red Hood hides a wilt. As if he’d been expecting Danny to take it.
“Alright.” The Red Hood says, trying to sound unbothered. He retracts the cigarette away from Danny, quiet all the way. He’s looking away.
Danny plucks the cigarette out of his hand, startling the Hood enough that Red snaps back to look at him. Danny yanks his lighter from his pocket. “I won’t say no to a free cigarette.” He says, slightly muffled with the stick between his teeth. It lights.
Silence falls over them again, and when one minute stretches into five, whatever hope that had been digging into the shoulders of Red Hood finally pulls away and leaves him slumping subtly.
‘A ciggie for your thoughts?’ Nine year old Jason Todd whispers one night with an impish grin, holding up a cigarette pinched between his two fingers. ‘I stole it from my old man. He won’t even notice its gone.’
Danny is halfway through it when he speaks. “The Joker killed my best friend.” He says, and watches from the corner of his eye as the Red Hood flinches. Is he startled by Danny speaking, or startled by the bluntness of him starting?
“He beat him to death.” Danny continues, staring stone-faced away from Red Hood. His grief claws up his lungs and burrows into his heart again. His fingers dig into the railing. “He beat my best friend to death.”
The Red Hood is silent, his body as still as the grave. Silence stretches out between them both, and like he’d been thinking, the Hood finally speaks: “How do you know?”
He’s not holding the cigarette, he broke his and Jason’s rule. Danny bounces the stick between his fingers. “His ghost told me.” He says, taking a trembling breath. “His ghost told me so, before he disappeared.”
The Red Hood says nothing, and Danny gathers his thoughts. The ones that had been buried deep next to his core, shoved down ever since Danny learned of Rath and a terrible future where a world is destroyed by one ghost’s hands.
Danny has never said it out loud before. His face scrunches up briefly, and then smooths out when his eyes squeeze shut. “I’m going to kill him, Red Hood.” He murmurs when he opens his eyes, turning his face toward the vigilante. The sound is sucked out of the air.
The Red Hood stares at him, but he doesn’t say a word. Danny pushes on, teeth grinding into teeth as he flips his silvery scarred hand back and forth. Palm up, palm down. “It’s why I haven’t been back to Gotham in a while.” He admits, voice still quiet. “If I see the Joker I will kill him, and I won’t feel bad for it.”
“Not today though,” he says, and closes his hand, “today I’m here on a favor to Vlad Masters. Then after this I’ll go visit my friend. I need to apologize for not seeing his grave in a while. I’ll have to stop by a florist to see if they have any zinnias. Jay likes those.”
He takes out the cigarette in his mouth and breathes out one last cloud of smoke. And then he crushes the cigarette stick under his foot and walks back inside.
#childhood friends au#undead on main#fun fact i made dan's name 'rath' because i Hate the name Dan#raaa my friend had sk8 infinity on and distracted me from the brrrr of responding so now i feel like none of these are satisfying answers#eagerly awaiting your response#all of this is making me think about my 'danny is a jason todd variant' au because THAT has some angst to it specifically over Danny meetin#the average Jason Todd other version of him#Danny (or jay as i like to call him) as Jason wants what Jason has: people who mourn him and address the fact that he's died#Mfer danny’s death in this (the childhood friends one) au is making me think SO much#he mentions his parents built a portal in his basement at lunch and Sam and Tucker think thats crazy#and he goes ‘do you wanna see if?’ and takes them to it after school#his friends are marvelling at everything in the lab bc they’ve never been down here#and Danny’s kinda just staring at the portal with his hands in his pockets#he hasn’t slept since he heard the news of Jason’s death. he looks so tired and sad with circles under his eyes#tucker says the portal looks so creepy because its unlit and looks like it goes on forever. its a tunnel#danny half smiles tiredly and goes ‘wanna see me go inside it?’ bc hey why the fuck not. who cares anymore it doesnt work ghosts arent real#would he even bother putting on a hazmat suit? would he just go inside? would that change how his ghost form looks even more now?#and he goes inside when normally he wouldnt even think about stepping foot near the lab door. but who cares jason is dead and it feels like#there’s a hole where his heart is. like the sun just died. what is he supposed to do now? he doesn’t even care what happens at this point#imagine his first thought upon being ghosted isnt ‘i died’ its ‘ghosts are real? can i see jason again?’#does he have two ghost forms now? one where he’s phantom and another where he’s still phantom but his grief is more prominent?#tears scarred into his cheeks? he takes off his goggles and his eyes are filled out with green no sclera or iris in sight? or is it like#those animatics where its sketched out holes that run at a lower fps than the rest of the animatic? meant to represent his grief? is the ho#in his heart more visible? raaaaagh this is giving me so many delicious thoughts. might be able to answer that dan and vlad question soon#listening to crybaby by melanie martinez while listening to this and thinking about danny#RAAAA ARE HIS TEARS MADE OF INK TO REPRESENT HIS LETTERS TO JASON? i keep having to edit this post because i keep getting MORE ideas#is his ghostly wail the same scream when he died or when he found out jason did? SO MANY THOUGHTS
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i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go
LOOK AT HIM!!!
most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing
you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him
but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it
you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.
and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!
i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.
maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place
i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.
that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him
this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.
after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.
this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?
and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown
i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written
#ERROR 501#pokemon#pokemon sv dlc#pkmn#pkmn sv dlc#indigo disk#pokemon indigo disk#kieran#kieran pokemon#kieran pkmn#rival kieran#trainer kieran#champion kieran
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everything i learnt during my break (ie all you need to know about manifesting)
hi guys, i took a months long break from tumblr. i used to be depressed, suicidal, constantly looking for results, having only failures, whining, being affected by the 3d every turn, crying almost everyday, to now not being affected by the 3d at ALLL, knowing my true power, and having it all easily conform in the 3d, i dont have anxiety/depression anymore and i feel so blessed, now i literally cry happy tears.
i used to be someone who used to spend my whole day on here, morning to night, looking for answers and the final "key" to manifesting/shifting, taking a break was much needed. here are the things i finally learned after so long.
dont be double minded // i would like to start by saying, see its a choice. we have 2 very distinct sides in this world, one full of lack, negativity, failures, sadness, losing, wishing, wanting....and the other of fulfillment, belief, positivity, determination, persisting, having, being, awareness etc. and whatever we choose, stick by it. i see so many people complaining and trying to say manif/shifting isnt real, and yes thats true FOR YOU in your reality. whatever you have choosen, a life of suffering or one of happiness through the law, please stick to it. if you want to say the law doesnt work, great, but if you have even a slight hope that its true and real, then give it a shot, and dont doubt, and with faith watch how it changes your life.
no circumstance can stop you // be it time, or the past, or trauma, every condition and circumstance only exist because we identify with it. the difference between a broke guy working a 9 to 5 that they hate, no purpose in life, debt and all relationships failing and a multimillionare, who doesnt have to work a single day in their life, life full of luxury and happiness, people who love them etc who probably doesnt even deserve their money but still gets to enjoy it, is simply their beliefs. believe better for yourself.
thinking from your desire and not of it // wishing and wanting and creating up fake scenarios is very different from knowing you HAVE your desire rn. the former is daydreaming, the latter is creation. you can waste years of your life thinking you're manifesting but its just us THINKING OFFF our desire. the results only show up when we HAVE right now. not to get, not to change the 3d but haveeee right now.
imagination is the only reality // we live in a multiverse, idc if people believe in that or not because its true for me, and every possible circumstance is possible and already created. already done. all our job is to HAVE it, and to CHOOSE to live in the state of having. and being fulfilled in our imagination instead of looking for in the 3d. if we look now we'll forever be looking, but when we close our eyes and know its done because our minds is the true consciousness, thats when it actually shows up.
stop manifesting with the intent of changing the 3d // physically trying to change the 3d is so hard, its so tiresome, its futile and useless, but being fulfilled and in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future. just focusing on staying in the state of the wish fulfilled with our eyes closed is the key, dont worry about what you see with your eyes open. the 4d is the creator, the 3d will AUTOMATICALLY follow.
stop overconsuming/more techniques and enjoy life // you know already what you have to do. most of us know that living in the end means being the person who already has it. so does your dream ideal self do a million techniques trying to get? does you ideal self spend their whole day scrolling on tumblr looking for another technique? another magic affirmation? subliminal? post? that will fix it all? no. they enjoy their lives knowing its done. their wish is in the greatest hands and its all done. so really, stoppp STOP with the overconsumption, trust that you know everything that you are supposed to. everything is within you. stop searching for it outside.
i yap a lot. i love to write so dont blame me, but i wont make this post too long, my dms are always open for help/ or to make friends. ily guys, i feel so happy now being on tumblr, i used to read others success stories and now i have my own hehe so yes slay. bye
-love, sam <3
#reality shifting#law of assumption#manifestation#shifting antis dni#law of attraction#master manifestor#manifesting#law of manifestation#neville goddard#live in the end#state akin to sleep#the void state#void state#shiftblr#16/7/24
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thinking more about the psychological aspect of solavellan, and before I start, I'd like to stress that this is NOT CRITICAL of it, I actually think it's what makes part of the dynamic interesting. My word isn't the be all and end all, however, this is just my musings on the topic :] Also, REALLY long post! so, more under the read more lol
From Lavellan's point of view, I would personally struggle to see her trusting another lover or close one again for a long time, if ever again. I don't really think people ever talk about the real impact of the things she goes through, or what solas put her through, and the hurt as a result of it. The relationship is never defined between the two of them, it's always spoken about in vague undetermined words from their companions and poetic elvish between the two of them. Are they lovers? companions? partners? it's really up to the player. Leliana says that "you were close", Sera says Lavellan is "in it." Vhenan means home, heart, it's not a word said lightly imo and he tells you he loves her by their second kiss. It's never an official thing, so how secure can Lavellan truly feel?
This could go both ways when it comes to the break up. Crestwood, as a scene, is so interesting to me because the first portion seems like a man brought to his knees by weakness for the woman he loves. The two of them never cease to touch, fingers entwined, shoulders brushing, skin to skin. It's so reminiscent of how Lavellan matches his Hallelujah cadence. They're two parts of a song singing together. It's a gorgeous scene and it's understandable how so many are angry at how it ends because the whiplash between how it starts and what it leaves you with is severe. Imagine this from lavellan's shoes.
You're desperately in love with someone at odds with your people, who is wonderful and enticing and smart. Loving solas feels like loving the whole world, like being free and connected with the stars. But you don't know what this is. And, if you thought you did, how far can you presume? Is Lavellan always on edge, scared to love him deeper and richer than he loves her? or is she in a false sense of security, assuming his affection is forever hers. So when he not only breaks away your faith and trust in your history, plus potentially the vallaslin, she is clearly deeply upset. This isn't a minor fact that simply can be swept aside. The vallaslin is important. And Solas, even with the best intentions, has hurt her. He knows it and there's a reason why he apologises (bc he wimped out on the real truth). How much more does he know about her people that he has refused to tell her or kept from her by omission? Can you imagine the embarrassment, the utter humiliation of that secret? how many memories of them together where she replays his distaste for her people in her mind, knowing that he has access to knowledge that could change her perception of her past? Its ALOT. and thats even before the breakup.
Solas is not kind about the break up. It's rushed (impulsive to me) and doesn't do their connection justice. His composure cracks in places and it's very unlike him. It absolutely blindsides the player, so imagine being in Lavellan's place, AFTER THE VALLASLIN? personally, I wouldn't have been able to function. I half suspect that a sad, calm Lavellan is also in shock or disassociation. Because how else do you cope? The lack of communication between them alone is enough to raise my eyebrows. He promises answers. He confides that she saw through his mask and doesn't tell her what was real, and what was fake. He has given her a kernel truth whilst keeping her in the dark. Everything he told her could be a false, imaginary polite mask or it could be the truth. Where does it end? Where does he begin? Where does she stand?
I don't know if everyone has experienced what it's like to be ghosted or for a friend to simply disappear one day, but it changes you. I say this as someone who has both been avoidant as well as anxious, but you never recover. Someone disappearing like that makes you doubt any reassurance that people won't just evaporate from your life. So when Solas just disappears, the game's single conversation with Leliana feels a little lacking to me. I understand that they can't really dedicate a lot to it, I get that, so I'd like to fill it in. At first, it's search parties. Solas wouldn't just leave her like that. He promised her answers. He started another mural just before they left for corypheus. He didn't intend to just leave, surely.
Days, weeks and months pass. The question is worse than the truth. Is he dead? Did he use them? Was he being truthful when he spoke to her in those ruins, or another polite mask he could hide behind? Is it better if he's dead or better than he didn't deem her worthy enough to even say goodbye? We, as the players, obviously know this isn't true, but she doesn't know that. Does your lavellan assume the worst and be overcome with grief that her one love, her heart, her home, was nothing more than a lie of omission? or is there anger there at his betrayal of her trust once more? I seriously doubt it was easy to forget or dismiss. That kind of disappearance ruins your trust with people. Something. Anything would have been enough.
Again, this is all my opinion on how these emotions would play out and DEFINITELY NOT canon nor do they have to be! But I seriously struggle to see how Lavellan could even come to heal from these wounds within even a two year time skip. By the time of trespasser, almost everyone has left her side. She's almost entirely alone again, save Cullen and Josie (and leliana if she's not divine). And thats okay: they all have rich lives to return to. But that must just reaffirm to her that no one will stay. She is alone. How does she trust again?
And then there is Fen'harel. Lavellan's reaction to fen'harel has always lacked the fear I kind of hoped would be there? I mean this isn't just a minor deity, this IS THE antagonist of her entire faith. I'm assuming that she's lost hope in the gods, even though it's confirmed to her that they're real, but that message has been a part of her since childhood. So learning that he is the dreadwolf, again not from him, but from the fragments of his past must cut her deeply.
Her love was never who he said he was, she knows this, but who is the real man? She's never known him in a context where he can truly show her. Her love is fragmented between each identity he holds. Her trust that he is who he said he is fragments with it. The knowledge that not only has he been watching the inquisition, her, for years without a single hint that he lives or is okay must destroy her. Could you imagine how insignificant you must feel to him? And he essentially affirms to her that yes, in the greater scheme of things, his love and hers are inconsequential. They cannot matter to him because he cannot strive from his path. His indulgence was a mistake. And it's undeniably cruel. I love solas and I cannot argue that he was kind to Lavellan because he wasn't. To me, there is no way to see his actions as kind. Understandable, absolutely and definitely without malicious intent.
Lavellan learns that he loved her just as deeply, if not more. He loved her with all his heart and it did not matter. She changed him and it has only brought him more pain. He loves her too much to even allow her near him, to even give himself that weakness. They are apart from each other in an endless distance, only the two of them in the world. No one else.
Obviously, each Lavellan is different, and I've made a lot of assumptions, but I think it's worth considering. How do you love someone again after all of that? How much can you rebuild your faith after what you have learnt. Lavellan has loved a "god" (I know he's not a god, but for all intents and purposes, he has the power of a god and wears an evanuris crown.) and in turn, a god has loved her. And he left her with one last embrace that will leave its mark on her forever, then he leaves once more. Lavellan is alone.
Each love after is met with suspicion, distrust and comparison. Lavellan is entirely changed. How many pieces of her can be taken away until she is no longer herself? Each person wears a new mask she cannot determine. Where do they begin? Where can she find herself?
How lonely it must be to love someone like Solas and be at the other side of an endless distance.
#dragon age#solas#lavellan#dai#solavellan#dragon age inquisition#solasmance#solas x lavellan#solavellan hell#solavellan meta#lavellan meta#i love them both#if lavellan has no lovers then I AM DEAD#i love their toxic situationship#i'll defend it till the day i die#a love for the ages#i genuinely believe they'll have a happy ending#<- delusional#again just my opinion#and thoughts#i am of the belief that you can ALWAYS love again and you should always try to move on#except lavellan she gets to be bitter for all eternity me thinks#telanadaswrites
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