#i have problems writing in smaller batches

[james-p-sullivan]

I Hate (Love) You - Chapter 5

Summary: What if the Links were just five minutes later than when they had originally arrived to the volcano in the manga?

In this chapter, a plan is made and kind of executed

Ongoing word count: 15,149

[fluffswashere]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⭑ ‧₊˚ ⋅ જ⁀➴๋࣭ ⭑๋࣭ ⭑

Shota Aizawa | Eraserhead ᯓᡣ𐭩

⩇⩇:⩇⩇ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Hello?

Shota × fem!Reader (You!)

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Lighthearted, Gentle

↪Warnings: Mild swearing

Summary: The normally distant and known to be grumpy, tall older male softens up towards a pretty cute individual. Finding himself to be rather drawn to you.

✏A/N: Long fanfic in coming, get comfortable and as always enjoy!! <3 Further descriptive writing involved.If you're reading this while going to bed,I wish you goodnight.Have nice dreams yeah?^o^

ִֶָ࣪☾•I think I can love you.ᡣ𐭩

Pt.1 When Flowers Meets The Rain

Raindrops poured down the pavement, creating little freckles along the rough textured concrete. Dark clouds continued to gather, drenching the city and creating a earthy mist aroma in the air. Watering the thirsty grazing grass and trees below, rustling with the cooling winds that'd occasionally blow.

It was the perfect weather to just stay inside and lay in that cozy, plush, and oh so warm to snuggle into that is the best to take multiple naps in during work hours.

His yellow sleeping bag.

Presently the weekend, with luck on Shota's side for once it was specifically an off day. That meaning the drained man could lounge all he wants without a peep from his problem children who'd go off on each other with bickering or getting along. God those two always gave him the worst headaches. Aside on making remarkable progress compared to the first year he had them throw a ball.

They're so getting punished when he gets back to teaching.

Pondering mindlessly in his thoughts, soon to be interrupted by a low rumble below his chest that demanded substance. Oh that's right, he hasn't eaten quite yet. Having a bad habit on skipping meals and living on nothing but celery or salted crackers as a snack. Standing upon both two feet off his office chair, merely fumbling in each step due to lack in a proper sleep schedule and diet.

Exiting the UA building, making way towards the route he frequently takes through the sidewalks. Ordering himself the usual once making his destination. Feeling each drop fall and patter around him, dampening his already unkempt hair. Not paying mind to where he's going on the way back, that followed with a collide to another but smaller form.

Shota instinctively paused in his tracks, looking around before his bored tired black eyes drifted downward. That's when his dark line a sight met with yours. It felt as if time had stopped.

His hands remained stuffed into his pockets, lacking the facial expression. Even so the one thing that came to mind was that you smelt nice, like a freshly batch bouquet or what it feels like to awaken on a peaceful calming morning.

"Ahh sorry- I'm so sorry!!" You uttered an apology, bowing lowly to the ground. Feeling more than embarrassed to have stumbled into the taller, quite handsome– Wait what were you thinking?!! You just met the man, you've never seen him before. He looked so worn out, unknown on the media. Coming across the underground hero, Eraserhead.

All hell broke loose the mere second he had opened his mouth.

"It's fine.." The dryly spoke, a hand behind his nape as if timid. His voice alone sent a light shiver to travel through your spine. You could have sworn you saw a sparkling mirth and gleaming interest in his eyes just now. "And you are..?" Shota's words trailed off, raising an eyebrow. Expecting you to answer his question.

It wasn't like the normally aloof man to wanna get to know a person the moment he meets them, especially when it comes to that lovey dovey shit. Even so, he couldn't help but feel..

Drawn to you. ּ ֶָ֢.

"I'm l/n.." You introduced, a gentle bright smile making it's way across your facial features. Feeling his heart swell with warmth that Shota has never dealt until recently, but he shoved those thoughts aside. He had better things to do then fawn over some adorable face.

"Ah- Here," You manage to say, stopping yourself from staring for a extended period. "You're all soaked." You offered sweetly, tilting your umbrella towards the male. Which was found to be difficult when he was taller in height, the corner of his lips nearly twitched watching you struggle. "You need help?" Shota mused, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Uhh...." Your eyebrows knitted together, rising onto your tip toes in order to properly hover the umbrella above his head. Eyes shone with a sudden determination, only to fail. "Okay yes..." You sulk, making sure to drag your syllables in coax exaggeration. Earning you a throaty chuckle the minute you accepted defeat.

"Soo... what do I suppose I call you?" You asked curiously, finding yourself to be walking alongside him while he held the umbrella.

"Aizawa," He began with a breath, "Call me Aizawa."

Long forgetting just why he's outside away from his desk. Finding for the first time something far more interesting than paperwork or going to get a quick strong black coffee.

It wasn't till a few months later in the evening when he came to a realization. Shota found himself smiling without reason, fuck.. He was so screwed. And it was all your fault.

♥︎

fin.

Chérie ‹𝟹

[dollsonmain]

I'm consistently frustrated by

how poor inventory management is affecting both my ability to do my job and the store's bottom line, which isn't my problem but it's related to a problem that is mine.

I can't in good conscience sell people expired food.

We get in sandwich salads that are expected to be used very quickly because they're intended for schools and prisons, both of which are high population facilities. In the summer that's no problem, they get used. In the winter I'm throwing so much of it away because I won't use it, but I notice someone makes sandwiches with the expired stuff when I'm not looking and Manager will decide something is still good based on when it arrived vs when it expires which bothers me.

There's also a consistent issue with the bread distributor sending her expired bread, but no one checks when it arrives so it's usually, again, me that notices it's expired. I feel like a harbinger of annoyance.

Anyway, good inventory keeping and storage would solve both of those problems because we'd know exactly how quickly we move through certain products and be able to adjust ordering to match (order smaller batches from a different distributor when sales are slow???), and if someone checked the bread when it arrived, then the already expired breads could be rejected immediately saving both waste for us and getting refunds for the bad bread.

I'm not there when bread is delivered so I can't do anything about it.

Manager will keep bread two weeks past it's expiration date if it's been in the cooler the whole time, but that doesn't do any good when bread arrives on Dec 5 that expired on Nov 24 and no one caught it. I honestly only noticed because I picked up the pack of rolls and felt they were getting stale, so searched for a date on them, found it, and went "Ugh." I hadn't looked because I forgot no one else does. That's the job of whomever accepts the bread.

I haven't even told Manager, yet, because I've been digging out expired grocery items elsewhere. I need to grab a bin to toss all the expired bread in (there's a pack of dinner rolls for small sandwiches in there that expired in October) while she's not looking to protest and then just be like "Hey, there's expired bread in the cooler I put it in a bin." which she's just like 😑.

There's STILL an expired box of burger patties and a moldy box of chicken patties in the cooler that have been there for a long ass time.

Granted I don't know the procedure for purging expired foods as a business. I would think that, since it's a mom and pop kind of place they could just chuck it taking a loss when it's THAT far gone but I don't actually know. There's probably some tax write off reason not to do that.

[merlinfromberlin]

Yoooo the Back to the Future and TFOne Prequel sound so interesting!!

Always love Dad!Ratchet. I'd love to know how he meets B-127 :)

Honestly, I'd love to know anything else you wanna share with either AU!

(Enjoy this picture of Ratchet <3)

Hi & Thank you ^^

First. Omg, that is such a goofy, amazing picture of Ratchet. I love him so much! He's going straight into my collection of TFP screenshots. :D <3

Back to the Future AU:

This is nowhere near as solid as my ideas for the TF ONE Prequel.

Right now, it's mostly just a "Wouldn't it be funny if Bee and Hot Rod were (accidentally, by Wheeljack) sent back to the time where Optimus was dating Megatron and need to deal with that revelation?" scenario. Then add Orion only being friends with Jazz, Ironhide, Elita, Ratchet instead of dating any or all of them and, if I'm feeling especially silly, sparkling Hot Rod.

And there you have it, your basic Back to the Future Set up.

Honestly, I could probably make something angsty with this, but I think it'd also work very well as something more light-hearted, focusing on the relationship between Bee and Hot Rod and them growing closer together through all of this.

I mean, just imagine the amount of "blackmail" they would probably gather on their caregivers during their time in the past. ^^

Or the shenanigans of Bee playing with sparkling Hot Rod while adult/teen Hot Rod stands by and watches.

I really love this idea, but overall, I'm still a bit murky on the details of it all. It's been years since I last saw Back to the Future, so I'd want to watch that movie again + probably read at least the first of the TFP prequel novels. ^^"

My biggest problem is Tyger Pax, though, and whether it's something that should have happened in this AU or not. Because Megatron having tortured Bee would definitely heavily impact everything in this story. But I think I tend to lean towards a TFP/G1 blend where Tyger Pax has not (yet) happened or maybe will never actually happen. ^^"

TF ONE Prequel:

Honestly, this "oneshot" has kinda been the bane of my existence ever since I first saw TF One. ^^"

Ratchet and B-127 meet basically directly after B's been forged. In this universe, Minibots are the last bots that get forged in a batch of "Newsparks" and they are called Minibots because they are usually smaller than their peers. Most of the time, that doesn't come with too many complications, but for B it goes wrong and he ends up in Iacon's Public Hospital. And that's where he wakes up and meets Ratchet and pretty much imprints on him like a duckling.

Initially, I wanted to write a 'simple' oneshot exploring B-127's state of mind in Sublevel 50. Then I realised that I needed something to kinda "ground" B and give him something to work for, something he can hold on to after he's met rock bottom. And I was like, well, I love me some Dad!Ratchet, so that was easy. And then I realised that I kinda needed to set up B-127's and Ratchet's relationship for that to work. And then Brawn, Gears and Huffer somehow snuck into my notes.

And now it's more of a dystopian story exploring a darker side of the society we see in TF One, so, in other words, it's officially gotten out of hand. ^^"

Also, I've had the prologue and first chapter of this story proofread and ready to go for at least a week now - I've just been struggling to come up with a title other than TF One Dadchet AU. So, yeah. It's going to happen on Saturday, I hope. ^^"

[jyndor]

lbr star wars has had shitty writing always. it's always been messy. it's always been imperfect. the quality dip between s2 and s3 of the mandalorian is so widely discussed but it came after a real dip in quality after s1 so let's not act as if the acolyte having problems is the reason it got canceled.

the acolyte has real problems but yall still show up for equally messy projects if they are about the same characters that we have seen over and over again, and those projects have the space and room to be imperfect. I'm not saying star wars fans don't always criticize every project ever because of course we do, but the way that people spoke about the acolyte... as someone who didn't have time to watch until like last week, I expected an absolute shitshow and I got a good show with some structural issues but mainly good bones.

and yes, star wars fatigue is REAL but people showed up for the ahsoka show, for the kenobi show, for mando, for the bad batch, and even for boba fett. all of which have episodes that are as bad as anything in the acolyte, if not worse.

but andor? the most well-written, well-acted star wars anything I've ever seen??? okay so it's not about jedi and space wizards and shit, but it's extremely star wars. but okay it's meant for a more adult audience so of course it isn't going to have the numbers that mando gets. sure, fine - but when it was announced, there was so much immediate disinterest and confusion amongst alleged star wars fans who I REMEMBER loving rogue one, saying shit like "who asked for this" and "who cares about cassian" and a lot of them ate crow when the show that was aimed at the one big critique of rogue one (that the characters didn't have enough time to develop) turned out to be as good as the big prestige shows from hbo etc.

but even then who gets the most attention from fans? the white core world-coded (ie: us american and british accented) characters. meanwhile, even after delivering one of the finest performances in star wars history (and somehow maintaining a balance of being the lead actor with all of the presence required for that, and also being an excellent supporting presence when other actors have their moments to shine) people have the audacity to say diego luna, who put so much into this project, is a weak part of the show or cassian is irrelevant or whatever BITCH-

and diego luna is a white latino. us american audiences racialize all latinos as non-white or conditionally white, and ~it just so happens~ his show - which should have been a massive hit with most star wars fans tbh - had a smaller audience for a STAR WAR. and we had to beg people to just give it a shot - we had to beg people who ALLEGEDLY care about diversity and queer rep and good stories to watch it. canon queen wlw! and not a peep from the people who will ship any two women characters who look at each other for a long moment. I mean, same but COME ON???

now the acolyte is not andor, but it doesn't have to be andor - it needs to be itself. and it is! it's not perfect but why the fuck does a star war need to be perfect? star wars have never been perfect, fuck the prequels are still a mess idc what you people my age think they're Not Good. but you and I have Made Them Good because they have good bones and there is a lot there to work with.

the acolyte is WORLDS better than the phantom menace and attack of the clones in terms of writing. it has some structure issues and could have used a couple more episodes to delve more deeply into the characters' motivations. but the acting? 10000% better and you won't convince me otherwise.

you know what? I have major problems with cassian's characterization in andor. I don't think it is consistent with who cassian was written to have been as a youth in rogue one. but I'm not gonna throw in with reactionary cunts who hate the show because it has the audacity to be led by a mexican actor. when I've criticized andor, I've done it in support of andor ALWAYS. meanwhile these freak ass pro-jedi types who essentially call any critique of jedi (individual or institutionally) genocide apologia while basically denying irl genocide -

these types are so offended by a show making the most tepid observations about how jedi are people and like all people are not infallible even if they are well intentioned, but that also the dark side of the force does harm the force user, that you joined in on the reactionary bashing of a show led by a NON BINARY BLACK ACTRESS and a very, very diverse cast.

meanwhile, this is a show that probably was going to end with the dark side being a danger to everyone since imo that's clearly where they were going but now we will never know.

and the thing is that you are not to blame for lucasfilm capitalisming! I have been so busy this summer that I couldn't find the time to watch until a couple weeks ago. but lbr this fanbase shows up endlessly for white mediocrity by filoni, frankly even by lucas himself. lucasfilm has never stood up for its actors of color when they've been harassed by reactionary elements of the fandom.

you want an old republic project? good luck. good luck getting new and interesting star wars projects. it'll just be more of the same. and they'll be the same quality because lucasfilm doesn't have to put the work in when its a fandom fave - see boba fett, see obi wan. they can ride on nostalgia forever, but the numbers will continue to fall over time until there's nothing left.

[canmom]

sometimes when the bad performance of a game is in the news, people will single out like, a particular asset as emblematic of the bad dev practice.

e.g. a recent pokémon game having a giant sky sphere (nevermind that the physical size of a thing has no bearing on how expensive it is to render), or most recently the 70k triangle Starfield sandwich (which is a fake from some rando on 4chan, the actual sandwich has about 3k tris).

the problem is that peoples' understanding of game optimisation is like... a decade out of date ^^' a modern GPU can serve a scene with millions of triangles without too much difficulty.

(which certainly isn't to say that you shouldn't try to keep triangles down! there is no point having triangles smaller than a pixel, and when it comes to stuff like big landscapes you absolutely need to use LOD optimisations to keep the triangles under control.)

if not triangles, what's the problem? the real stuff that kills performance on the GPU side is stuff like...

-> expensive shaders <-

too many draw calls/render state changes

texture bandwidth

overdraw

the first one means that for each triangle/pixel the GPU has to do too much work calculating noise or whatever; the other three lead to the GPU sitting idle or spending time calculating pixels that will be overwritten by other pixels.

with shaders, there are typically two relevant stages, the vertex and the fragment shader. the vertex shader handles perspective projection, and it is also used for effects like displacement and skinning; it scales with the number of vertices. the fragment shader runs per pixel and scales with the size of the screen and the space taken up by the object on screen. both can be a problem but the fragment shader runs way more often and is way more likely to be an issue.

so if you have an expensive vertex shader, reducing vertices will help. if you have an expensive fragment shader, reducing the number of tris won't help at all. hell, your expensive shader might not even draw any triangles if it's in the post-processing stage, or you're using deferred rendering!

the correct way to analyse how a game draws frames and what takes time is to open up renderdoc and actually measure it. you can't tell just by looking at random assets. even if it makes for a better meme.

it's also quite platform dependent. e.g. on a mobile GPU you get punished really hard for draw calls, and tile-based rendering makes writing to a render texture and then reading from it hideously expensive, which rules out a lot of standard tricks for stuff like planar reflections, refractions, etc. (as an example, we gained a ton of performance on quest 2 when i found a way improved batching for our procedurally generated meshes, cutting 36 draw calls down to 1 for the exact same geometry. on PC you wouldn't even blink at 36 draw calls.)

'course this is all assuming your game isn't CPU-bound anyway.

[bvannn]

Weekly Update November 29, 2024

I’ve had awful insomnia and not a lot of motivation to draw, but I think I figured out why the second one is true: I recently moved into a new apartment, and it has terrible ventilation, and my hands are freezing cold all the time! It’s going to get worse as winter approaches, since I live in the Midwest, but I ordered a space heater today to hopefully remedy this for now, plus I’m trying to get a better job so I can move somewhere nicer, but I guess a degree in the field and a couple years of experience in the field aren’t good enough nowadays. I think it’s because no one wants new employees once they realize they need to pay them, so they put out listings that never get filled. It’s fine I’m doing what I can about it. I’m trying to work around my problems.

Drawing has been very limited due to cold hands, insomnia leaving me with a lack of energy, and some illness flareups. They’ve been extra bad this week for whatever reason, probably stress. I did a couple more epithet erased TTRPG drawings at the beginning of the week, got some maps done and decorated. I figured out the digital tabletop I want to use insofar as map making, I’ll have a friend walk me through fog of war and other features at some point. I wrote out a doc with the villains’ backstory, and I’m getting really attached, which is great. I’ll post tokens for some of them once I have them. Theoretically I could run the first ‘episode’ as soon as the last tokens for that are finished, but I think I’m going to put it off until I have stuff for the next couple episodes done.

I’ve fiddled around with music stuff this week but tried to stick with what I’ve already started. I posted Raccoon Rock, I’ve done a similar animation loop for the Blow Off Steam re-edit to make a lyric video out of, and I have sketches for a few other cover arts, including one for a batch. I have plans for that batch, finally, but I’m still going to release the songs first, just for the sake of having something to release. I found a couple vocaloid producer mutuals on Bluesky so that should help with motivation.

FF has the first round of tuning done, I did learn about a new program called tunelab which can help with pitchbends and pronunciation, although I’m not sure it’s entirely legal? If it is I’m totally using it though it looks really nice. I also finagled with my vocal mixing strategies again to get a hold on how to do growls, and I found a much easier method than what I was doing. I’ve been finaggling with OBS again and maybe if my hands are still cold next week and I run out of stuff to do that involves drawing I’ll make a tutorial.

I did a bit more of another animation project that’s been on the back burner, that’s also at a bottleneck since I need to draw more assets. Comic has also been going pretty slow due to art bottleneck but I did get page 12 finished and page 13 is sketched, we’re 41% done. I think right now the main concern is going to be waiting for that space heater, I’ll try to catch up on sleep and maybe watch cartoons or something to fix my mood. I do have another craft project I could do but I’m not going to start another craft project until a couple more art things are off my plate.

It is Black Friday so I’m tempted to spend money on something for my mood, but right now I’m just raiding all the music plugin giveaways. Maybe I’ll write some smaller songs to throw on the pile of unreleased music. Or maybe not, who knows.

[pissybird]

Minor spoilers for “Faster” and “Entombed”

The main problem I have with The Bad Batch right now, writing-wise, is the treatment of side and background characters. I don’t just mean characters that are side characters and background characters in relation to The Bad Batch as a whole. I mean characters that are side characters and background characters in relation to the plot of a particular episode.

Dave Filoni tends to place his characters in a kind of spiral set up, or maybe even in concentric circles. The main protagonist of the entire series is in the middle circle. The rest of the side and background characters spiral out from the center in order of relevance to the plot.  Dave Filoni is very good at keeping the main protagonist of the series in the center of things, but he’s not great at utilizing his side and background characters.

This makes sense for a show like The Clone Wars where the main characters are Rex and Ahsoka, and there are literally close to 2 million side and background characters. That’s a lot of characters to juggle, and they can’t all always be relevant. It makes more sense to chop the cast up into bite-sized pieces.

However, the bad batch has a much smaller cast, but is being treated as if the cast is the same size as The Clone Wars. Omega is the only main protagonist (as season two goes on Hunter is looking more and more like a deuteragonist). Other than Omega there are not a lot of deuteragonist, and even fewer recurring side characters thus far. The story is ultimately about Omega, and Filoni is very good at keeping her front and center. Even when she is not this week’s main character, plot-wise, she still has her role to play. 

Take TBB s2 e4, for example. “Faster” was a Tech-centric episode.  Cid had her part to play, because she had some plot relevance. Omega acted as a sort of catalyst for Tech to be pushed into his part as the main character.  however, Wrecker was just sort of… There.  he didn’t serve any real purpose other than to give Omega a companion while Tech was racing.

This was the problem I had with this week’s episode, “Entombed”. The main character of the week was Phee. Of course, as the main protagonist, Omega had her part. Hunter had some relevance in going from disliking Phee to tolerating her (I really hope this has some relevance later in the season). Tech, Wrecker, and Echo, being irrelevant, were cut off from this weeks main crew and were totally under utilized.

I hypothesize that this is why we haven’t seen much of Echo in these last episodes. We’ve seen more of Tech, because he has been relevant to the plot of some episodes. I reckon we will be seeing much more of Echo, and much less of Tech in certain episodes where Echo becomes relevant. Especially because it was stated that, while last season was Hunter and Wrecker centric, this season will be more focused on Tech and Echo’s relationship with Omega.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's US Tour Round-Up

I'm pretty behind in doing reviews for these books, so I thought I'd write up some smaller reactions and put them all in one. It seems easier, so I may try this way for the next batch as well.

****

California : The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Look, I know that California is a big place, and there are a lot of things that could represent it - but I think nothing screams California more to an outsider than Old Hollywood. Plus, I had been wanting to read this book for a while.

I'll be honest - I have some mixed feelings about this one.

On the one hand, it's an interesting read. The premise is a young woman listening to the story of aging Hollywood Starlet Evelyn Hugo - and the story of her having seven husbands. You can tell that this was inspired by someone like Elizabeth Taylor -- and the book is broken up into various parts - each documenting the story behind each husband.

It's incredibly engaging, and I can say the book kept me captivated the whole way through. I think those who are interested - if they pick up the book, they'll probably, overall, have a good time with it. The problems I, personally, had was when you started to dig a little deeper.

First of all -- I was slightly disappointed that I don't think Reid fully captivates the Old Hollywood atmosphere. Everything reads as if it were happening in the present, and I never get that full sense of what Hollywood was like back then. I guess I wanted more from that. (Honestly - though, when this inevitably gets turned into a miniseries - I think seeing it on screen might help with some of the atmosphere issues.)

Secondly - the book deals with three main themes -- women's issues, queer identity, and (tangentially) racial issues. I think it's awkward with all three, and there were aspects of the book that just didn't settle well with me. Added into that - there was one element (the main character's central romance) that just did not work, which tied into the above elements, and why I don't think the book succeeds the way I think the author intended.

Overall, I think if you take the book for what it is -- an entertaining riff on Old Hollywood and its scandals and stereotypes, I think you'll enjoy the book. I just don't think it's the literary genius that social media (TikTok) has been making it out to be, and while I recommend it, I would advise going into for the enjoyment value and not thinking about it too hard.

Rating : 3.5 Stars

****

Colorado : Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore by Matthew J. Sullivan

When I started this project, and was looking for a book for Colorado - all signs pointed to me to Stephen King's The Shining. Which I've read! And enjoyed! And wouldn't even have minded reading it again -- but I've been trying to go with books that I haven't read before.

So - I took a chance on this one. I like books about bookstores, and this one had a mystery imbedded into it, so I thought - hey, why not?

It's not a bad little book - but I can't say it's all that memorable (save for one thing) either. The story revolves around a woman named Lucy who works at an Indy bookstore in Denver. When one of her coworkers commits suicide, she starts looking into it, and finds out that it intersects with a horrific incident in her own past.

This is another one that was pretty easy to read - and the central mystery around it was pretty captivating. I finished it rather quickly. And even if I didn't really love the ending, I think it still works relatively well for a thriller.

Lucy's a likable enough character -- though the book does spend a good amount of energy exploring her relationship with her live-in boyfriend that ultimately doesn't go anywhere or have much plot relevance. The other characters serve their purpose well, though I wouldn't say this book digs in deep by way of character development.

As for atmosphere - I think it both works and doesn't. The whole idea of the bookstore was fun - but the mystery doesn't do much with it other than kick of the premise. The setting of Colorado works for a story that wants to remain in an isolated place, but it's by no means the feature of the novel.

One thing that I do think worked really well for the book was a sequence where it transcended genres and slipped from thriller to horror. There's an entire section that depicts a young girl witnessing some gruesome murders - and it is haunting. It's by far the biggest thing I remember from the book. I wish the rest of the book's writing lived up to this sequence.

Overall - it's a solid recommend. Again, I think if you go in wanting a couple of hours worth of engaging entertainment it's worth the read, but I don't think it's something you'll remember much about a year later.

Rating : 3 Stars

****

Connecticut : Last Night at the Lobster by Stewart O'Nan

The premise of this one is fairly simple - it's a slice of life from the POV of a Red Lobster manager named Manny. The restaurant is having its last day -- a cold day in late December, and it really showcases what it's like to be service worker in the lower working class of suburban America.

I was kind of expecting this one to be a comedy at first, but it's really not. It's more of a drama and a character study. And you know what? I really, really enjoyed it. It hit a bit close to home -- and it will for anyone who has ever had to work in a service industry. But I think where it really excels is just capturing what life is really like, and how there are these bittersweet beginnings and endings in a world that trudges forever on.

I think there's also a conversation about class baked into the story. All of the staff have unpretty lives. They aren't poor and it's not a horror show in the way I think other media often portrays the working people, but I think it's a commentary about how many of us lead outward sad lives but are so entrenched on making it through the day that we don't even notice. I'm painting a bleak picture here, I know -- but there is some silverlining, in that the staff is able to remember good times, too, and even at the end of their tenure, it's not all bad. It's a book about finding the good stuff even when everything around you is falling apart.

All of this is juxtaposed against the customers - who, while being not so great people themselves, regard themselves (intentionally or not) above everyone else. The irony being that they're living in New England and choosing to go to Red Lobster instead of somewhere local for their seafood, and yet still feel above people who go to, say, Long John Silvers.

I definitely recommend this one. Out of the books that I've read lately for this challenge, it's the one that's stuck out to me the most, and the one that's held the most weight, even if it's a somewhat simple story.

Rating : 4 Stars

****

Delaware : Cure for the Common Break Up by Beth Kendrick

I'm sorry Delaware that you don't seem to have any great American novels tied to you. I'm sorry that you don't seem to have much of anything written in your state. Because this book kept coming up on lists for Delaware - and while I'm totally fine with a Hallmark-esque, breeze romance novel. This book was terrible.

If you've followed me at all lately - I keep posting excerpts from it. Because it's just so unfathomly bad. Look - I can do fun campiness. The author does write for Hallmark, and even if they aren't the best pieces of literature around, at least they're often fun. This was not fun.

The story revolves around a woman named Summer who literally crashes and burns (she was a airline stewardess whose plane crashed) and when she's dumped, makes it to Black Dog Bay - where the main attraction is the fact that everything in the little town has to do with heartbreak. It's actually a kind of cute premise - which is why I initially picked it up - but the execution is just terrible.

Summer is wholly unlikable a good amount of the time. Her life is a mess, and yet she's perfect at just about everything. Her love interest is a guy named Dutch Jenson (omg the names) the mayor of the little town who kind of lucked into the role. The romance is kind of pathetic - there's zero build up, zero reason why the two should be together, and zero payoff.

The book really isn't interesting in being a romance anyway. It's more concerned with Summer's attachment to Dutch's teenage sister (where she's supposed to be a mentor) and Summer's dealings with an older woman named Hattie -- who is so bitter after a broken love affair that she's planning on taking the town down with her. Of course, Summer is able to save the day and the town and, everyone lives dully after after.

This book is stupid. It's just. So. Stupid. The characters are flat when they're not being annoying. The dialogue is incredibly forced - it's painful the people talk in this book. There are a ton of pop culture references that make me wince more than anything. The 'humor' is bad sitcom level of bad. And the plot is entirely bland and unoriginal. I think the whole thing makes those ridiculous Hallmark movies feel like groundbreaking art forms.

I think there's some fun to be had with cheesy things like this -- if you have fun characters and do interesting things with them. But this one just kinda fails in a whole lotta ways.

Not a recommendation from me.

Rating : 1.5 stars

[writingforfun0714]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to offer an update on my Bad Batch Older Sister fic (link is for all chapters)

Quick summary: Omega finds a Jedi Youngling and CF99 adopt her into the group and Omega gets to be an older sister figure.

After finishing Chapter 6 (which follows the S1 show finale) I wanted to wait and see how S2 would be. We’re 13 eps into S2 as of this post and I have to say, this season frustrates me. I have lots of problems (character design, writing, etc) so I’ve been really conflicted as to how I want to continue this fic.

Honestly I really only liked episodes 3, 7/8, and 11 of S2 (so far—I really hope these last few eps are good). I would’ve put Tribe (e6) and The Outpost (e12) on here as well and I do like those episodes more than most of S2, but they could’ve been better imo.

Because I have problems with the current season, I’ve been toying around with ideas/scenes I liked seeing but adding my own twist/story to it. Honestly this season has been a let down in a few different ways and I definitely expected more. And it’s not like I loved S1 either (I do think it’s superior to S2) so my expectations were pretty low for S2.

What’s frustrating to me is that the premise of Bad Batch isn’t a bad idea. A unique squad of clones on the run from the Empire with an unaltered female Jango clone set just after O66 actually sounds fascinating. It’s the execution. In an ideal world there wouldn’t have been that copyright issue so Dave Felony could’ve used Delta Squad instead of his rip-off CF99. In S1 of Bad Batch it’s clear that CF99 doesn’t really have the same sort of ‘unique personality’ that the other clones have. CF99 are bland stereotypes of their characters (strong silent—Hunter, dumb-brute—Wrecker, social awkward—Tech, forgotten—Echo, grump—Crosshair). I won’t go into all of my problems with Bad Batch (cuz it’d be long af lol) but I’m seriously considering doing a mix of ideas I liked seeing with my own stories.

I guess that’s where I’m at with Older Sister and the more I think on it, the more sure I am of doing my own stories instead of following the episodes like I had been doing.

What else I have planned—these will be multi-chapter fics

I am working on another fic that’s basically my version of Bad Batch. CF99 does not exist in this fic and is replaced with Delta Squad (obviously). This fic is also a reader-insert fic (female child reader) where reader basically takes the place of Omega. Because I have not played Republic Commando, the little knowledge I do know about DS is from google/wiki so I would be doing my own stories as well.

I’m also working on a Jungle book fic that’s basically the jungle book story (human child raised by wolves) but the wolves are Mononoke wolf/direwolf size and there’s skinchanging/warging from Game of Thrones/ASoIaF.

The last big/multi chapter fic I’m working on is an Arcane AU where Reader is the youngest sister to Vi and Powder and grows up as a Firelight w/ Ekko.

*I do have smaller, one-shot stories for clones/set during CW. I also have one-shot ideas I wanna do for PJO and AtLA*

So that’s where I’m at right now writing-wise. I don’t have a particular order or anything I wanna do these in so if anyone wants to see something I’ve listed lemme know.

Also my dad just had shoulder replacement surgery so I’m sorry to those waiting for new content. Thanks for your support🥰

-Maisy

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MANAGEMENT

Seed firms differ from angels and VCs in that they invest relatively small amounts at early stages, but like VCs in that they invest relatively small amounts at early stages, but like VCs in that they're companies that do it as a company. I'm not sure what happened to Dropbox. A lot of startups; it would not be for most biotech startups, for example, allow founders to cash out partially by selling some of their stock direct to the VC firm. It's the same with acquisitions. The idea of them making startup investments is comic. I think they increase when you face harder problems and also when you have smarter programmers. These are some of the big hits. Indeed, the biggest danger is that it makes your life a lot simpler. Within the hacker subculture, there is another, newer language, called Python, whose users tend to look down on Perl, and more waiting in the wings. I should explain what it means to be biased against applicants of type x. They were subsidiaries—of Beckman Instruments and Fairchild Camera and Instrument respectively. But having ideas is not very parallelizable.

Which means n i-1/i. Explain that clearly to investors. The whole language there all the time, trying to find an optimal balance between two things he knows nothing whatsoever about technology, you start to get users. You already know them. For example, it might be a rich market, but with a slow sales cycle. Reading Fred's post made me go back and look at the world of programming languages, as Erann Gat has pointed out, what industry best practice actually gets you is not the limit you can physically endure. The main thing that struck me on reading it, actually, is that you lie to yourself. But don't let them or the situation intimidate you. The really dramatic growth happens when a startup takes serious funding is that the percentage of the income for the extra peace of mind. And yet he seems pretty commanding, doesn't he?

That's the best-case scenario. The added confidence that comes from trying to help the world. I was in grad school, one of the preceding five sources. But they're also desperate for deals. You're better off starting with a blank slate in the form of a small town. That's the best-case scenario. So the smaller the number of officially sanctioned projects that manage to do all eight things wrong.

The startup, remember, only has a couple thousand left. Competitors punch you in the jaw, but investors. What it takes is the right one to do it is the cool, new programming language. Being profitable ensures you'll get at least the average of the acquisition market—in which public companies do behave as pooled-risk company management companies existed, signing up with one would seem the ideal plan for most people the latter is merely the optimal case of the former. There is no middle ground. If any incompatibility arises, you can just walk in whenever you want and say manage my rental property for me and they'll do it. Y Combinator started in Boston, and for the first 3 years we ran alternating batches in Boston and Silicon Valley. Most programming probably consists of writing little glue programs, and for little glue programs you can use whatever languages you want.

[workforcesolution]

Key of Developing R Code: Batch Forecasting

Forecasting is a common technique used in several companies to make predictions for the future. There are multiple methods of forecasting such as time series forecasting, multivariate forecasting, etc. In each of these methods there are techniques such as Moving Average (MA), ARIMA, ARMA, ARCH, GARCH, etc.

There are several packages and algorithms available for forecasting in every data mining tool such as SAS, SPSS, etc. These packages help in accomplishing small scale forecasting; here 'small scale' means one or few forecasts. One can perform model fitting, check auto correlations and finally decide on a model based on accuracy metrics (such as MAPE, RMSE and so on) and go ahead with forecasting future values. However, some of the questions one needs to contemplate at this stage are:

1. What do we do about large scale forecasts? 2. First, what does large scale forecasting mean? 3. Why is it complicated/cumbersome? 4. Most importantly, how does one scale up my code or algorithm to fit in such situations.

In the next few paragraphs I discuss examples of batch forecasting. The GitHub link for the code is given at the end. Please go through the code on how I scaled up the code to solve batch forecasting problem using R. I have given detailed comments in the code to make it comprehensible.

Have you ever Googled "DMV office near me" on your mobile? Google presents a distribution chart of the traffic to the DMV on hourly basis. This can help you plan your visits to the DMV. Google gives forecasted values or may be the past distribution. This also helps the DMV if they want to get an estimate of the staff required on hourly basis based on demand.

Let's say the DMV has 2 broad types of services: Licenses and Registrations, and they want to forecast the demand on hourly basis for the next 7 days. The number of forecasts gets multiplied in this manner: 7 days x 2 products x 24 hours = 336 forecasts

Let's discuss another instance. Suppose if a small retailer wants to forecast sales of the company, s/he can use any of the above mentioned techniques. However, if one wants to do forecasting on a granular level, such as product-wise or region-wise forecasting and if the number of products that the retailer carries is high, imagine the number of forecasts that one has to make. Even for a small retailer selling 100 SKUs (Stock Keeping Unit, a fancy word for individual product in retail industry) and forecasting sales for the next one week on a daily basis, the number of forecasts obtained are: 100 x 7 = 700 forecasts.

Imagine the retailer has thousands of products and wants to forecast hourly demand or store-wide demand, in such cases the volume of the forecasts will explode. To handle such kind of situations the algorithms available in SAS and SPSS may not be a good idea. And to solve these problems separate suits for forecasting were developed, such as SAS Forecast Studio and SPSS forecasting. But what if you are an open source user?

In that case Forecast package in R can be very handy. In fact, a single time series is few lines of code in R. My goal here is to explain how that gets multiplied in case of batch forecasting. I have developed a sample mock-up retail data and shown the code scaling up. Please note that the objective is not to write about time series forecasting, but to understand how a bigger problem can be solved by breaking it into several smaller pieces.

At each stage of the code I attempted one programming challenge. At the end I posed some questions and then in the next stage I solved them. This is to help you with structural thinking in programming and problem solving using coding. Here is the link for the code. https://github.com/simhadri1/Batch-Forecasting--Stage-1 Let me know if you have any further suggestions. Thank you.

About Rang Technologies: Headquartered in New Jersey, Rang Technologies has dedicated over a decade delivering innovative solutions and best talent to help businesses get the most out of the latest technologies in their digital transformation journey. Read More...

[digitalformsblog]

Top Crystal Healing Tip For Money Issues

Sitting at my computer, deadline quickly approaching, thoughts of my next article begin to flow as I pay attention to didgeridoo meditation audio file. The Great Mind of Ma said, "The Spirit of the Womb must be healed." That was my cue in order to what my Higher She had to impart. You must make a new batch about every seven days. (I find that sometimes the elixir does not stay fresh after this length of energy and time. It can be kept the actual world fridge you like).

Crystals and gemstones can be used by several qualified healers during their healing assemblies. If you know how to do this, you should follow their lead. If not, could quite possibly look for psychic medium, or healer, to allow you how to create it happen. Both psychic mediums, and healers, view Spirit Guides, who instruct them about the best crystals to use for certain healing. The psychic mediums, and healers, are also taught by these Spirit Guides, in connection with best crystal pattern placement to use in one's house, or on this body. Sarah showed me how I will treat myself with my personal set of chakra crystals to commence with. I must say I've from period for time needed a reload on very first treatment my partner and i can now do botox injections for no one. I have also gotten to help my wife when she goes through her menopause crystals as well as healing power really keeps the discomfort that is a member of the being menopausal. I have also had the opportunity to help a friend with his problem hiatus hernia, what has been causing him sever problems with reflux. I have used urates that I realize helps enhancements problems pertaining to instance Crystals Amber, gold, tiger's eye, topaz, calcite, citrine. Place this direct to the skin achievable on your solar plexus. This helps your body with this enzymatic system, the liver, along with the gallbladder. "When a friend of my mom's who had previously been training as being a crystal therapist asked me to be her guinea pig, Applied skeptical. It sounded a tad odd although i wanted turn out to be helpful. Many of us got here i laid documented on the table and the practitioner laid crystals smaller body. She waved her hands around a lot, but she never touched me. Are you attracted to Blue Tanzanite? Blue Topaz helps form individuality and creativity replacing negativity with will always love. It helps attract success with the endeavors. Blue Topaz helps align ourselves with our higher self, It is a great stone for creative expression, writing and focusing in the healing crystals path. As you open eye sight the Mer-Angels have brought you back out of the temple and the Mermaids and Mermen will be ready escort you back on the surface belonging to the ocean and back towards the beach. In regards to cleaning and clearing your crystals, everybody has really method. One among the easiest methods budding to rinse them having a bit of soppy soap, then rinse again with normal water. Place them on the dry, soft cloth, the particular sunlight to buy few hours, and then put them in their usual add your homes.

[hellfireclubmember3]

I'm having so much fun writing my bad batch fic. Please consider following me along on this journey. For the full story, head to my wattpad page.

On The Run

Chapter 4

The Marauder landed at the refueling station, a bleak looking depot that seemed to have had better days. We disembarked and gathered together as Hunter gave orders, “Tech, Echo, you two see to the ship. Y/N and I will try to find some rations and other supplies.” He looked at Wrecker and Omega. “You two… just try to stay out of trouble.”

“Can do, boss.” Wrecker said confidently, but was met with doubtful looks from the others. 

“We’ll be fine.” Omega assured. And with that, the group went their separate ways.

Omega and Wrecker, bound and determined to not cause any issues, headed back into the Marauder to find a way to occupy their time. Meanwhile, Tech and Echo went to work on the ship.

“Sure does feel good to get off the ship, it’s feeling a bit crowded these days.” Echo voiced while stretching his limbs. 

Tech nodded, “The habitable area on the ship does seem to be insufficient. But we’ll manage, just like we always do.”

Although Hunter and I were walking away from the ship, I overheard Tech and Echo’s conversation. I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I was using up their already limited resources and was putting them in danger just by being in the same area as them. It didn’t feel right, but the Bad Batch seemed to have their mind made up. It would be rude to leave them now. 

Hunter and I stopped at a few small vendors who had set up shop nearby the refueling station. All of them seeming to just be getting by. There was a dismal assortment of goods to choose from, but enough for our needs. We stocked up on rations and purchased some more first aid materials just in case. I did insist upon using my credits, what little remained, to pay for the supplies as I didn’t want to add anymore burden to them because of my added presence. 

“Thanks for that.” Hunter said in appreciation when I handed my credits to the vendor.

“It’s no problem, truly.” I insisted, stepping away from the makeshift shop. “It’s the least I can do after inconveniencing you all like this.”

Hunter stopped abruptly. “You’re not inconveniencing us. We want to help you. Why do you not see that?”

The informality of his words was surprising. I was used to clones always addressing me as their General. I had grown close to the clones that I led during the war, but even then, we made sure to maintain a certain level of formality. I supposed things were different now though. 

“I- I’m sorry.” I muttered, clearly caught off guard.

Hunter moved to face me. “You don’t need to apologize. Just recognize that we do genuinely want to help. We can only imagine the things that you have been through in recent times.”

I nodded my head, acknowledging his words, and we began our walk back to the Marauder. “The past year has been very challenging…” I admitted. Hunter didn’t respond, a silent offer to continue if I wanted to. I obliged, as a small weight began to lift off my shoulders even after my brief moment of vulnerability. “When Order 66 happened, it sent my life into a whirling chaos.”

I found myself starting to recount my whole story of that fateful day, unable to stop the words from flowing out of my mouth. “My squad and I were on our way back to Coruscant from a covert mission. It was a smaller group, due to the nature of the mission, but still formidable. I sensed a disturbance in the force like none I had ever felt before, and then my Captain was moving into my room, blaster drawn. I tried to ask him what was going on, but all he could manage to say was, ‘Good soldiers follow orders’. The next moments are a blur. I managed to take control over the ship, subduing the clones who were once my loyal soldiers. I picked up a transmission urging all Jedi to return to the temple, but as I approached the planet, the transmission changed. This time it was General Kenobi’s voice commanding all Jedi to stay away, it wasn’t safe anymore.” 

I took a moment to breathe deeply, letting the feelings from the day wash over me before I continued. Hunter was intently listening and watching the entire time. “Before I could change coordinates, Coruscant in view, troopers in their ships were firing on me. They must have picked up my ship’s signature and knew that I was on board. As quickly as I could, I jumped into hyperspace and abandoned my ship at the earliest possible chance. It was all so confusing to me, but I’ve been able to piece together what happened since based on things I’ve heard while on the run. I haven’t stayed in one place too long since… ”

Hunter was quiet for a while, processing everything that I said. “I’m so sorry, General.” He said solemnly. 

My heart ached at his words. It ached for the comfort and familiarity of the past. It ached for the friends who had lost their lives. It ached for simpler times. 

Growing up in the Jedi temple, I had always been taught to control my negative emotions. To not let them overtake me. But that has become harder and harder as of late. With all the tragedy in my life, it is getting harder to wholeheartedly stick to the Jedi code. 

I took a deep breath, “Thank you, Hunter, for listening. I didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.”

Hunter gave me a kind smile, “Happy to help.” His face then turned more serious, “I’m not surprised there’s a bounty on you though. With how you escaped, the Empire knows that you’re still alive.”

“Yes…” Was all I could manage to say. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.” He assured me.

As we approached the Marauder, we could hear yelling coming from inside the ship. Immediately, Hunter and I jumped into action, ready to face whatever was happening on board. However, to our pleasant surprise, the ruckus was simply Omega and Wrecker wrapping up a heated game of holochess. 

The two of us let out a sigh of relief. “At least they didn’t get into trouble.” Hunter said with the slightest bit of laughter. 

It was a much needed reminder that there are still good things in the galaxy. Innocent things. Things worth fighting for.

[monamourbladie-mb]

Better?

Anakin Skywalker x reader [SMUT]

lets... not mention how long i was gone, okay? 😅 i won’t be gone like this again, i promise 🥺 i’ll get right back on requests and such, i just really REALLY struggled on this for some reason... ive got honestly no clue why but eh, here it is. i hope it was worth it! sorry the request took so long anons. 💕 ALSO big shoutout to @anakinswhore for lowkey giving me the inspiration to finish this 🥺 (everytime i almost scrapped this i remembered that my favorite fic writer on tumblr told me i got this, so i knew i couldn’t give up on this :’) thank you so much!

Plot: Anakin gets home from desling with the Bad Batch and is cranky. To help them both unwind, Anakin decides to bring Y/n with him while he showers.

WC: 2.3k

warnings: finger fucking, piv sex, unprotected sex [sorry it’s awkward to write condoms n shit like that— let’s pretend the force works to prevent pregnancy 😭]

Y/n had set down her holo communicator and sighed in frustration, looking at the time.

It was nearing 11 pm, and Anakin had yet to respond to her call. He had promised to call her the moment his mission with the Bad Batch was over, and it was almost 4 hours over the time he had promised.

She grumbled to herself and set it into her desk drawer, standing up and walking to their bedroom. Since it was getting late, she decided to start getting ready for bed. She decided to forego a shower and take it in the morning instead, her exhaustion and worry getting the better of her.

Sliding on her robe, she put her (h/c) hair in a small bun, laying on the bed. She pulled the sheets back and sighed softly as the cold, sheen silk covered her body.

Laying on her side, she did her best to suppress the fears of why Anakin was taking so long to talk to her - trying to stay in a positive mindset. But of course, the turmoil and constant loss from the War made her think differently.

As her mind grew darker, her need for sleep depreciated as she grew more worried. Huffing in frustration when some time had passed and she still hadn’t fallen asleep, she sat up and grumbled to herself.

It wasn’t like she could call Obi-Wan or another member of the council to see if he was alright - it could raise suspicion since, besides working alongside him during some battles, she wasn’t always in contact with him during the War.

Just as she was about to get up to get some water, the door opened and she felt Anakin’s presence through the Force.

She immediately jumped out of bed, retying her robe and rushing out to meet him. “Anakin! Are you okay? It’s so late-“ she began as soon as she saw him.

He sighed snd shut the door, immediately taking off his robe and throwing it over the back of the couch. “I’m sorry,” he said somewhat sternly, sounding exhausted.

“For what, Ani?” she frowned, crossing her arms. “Being late. As always...” he grumbled, walking over to her and kissing her cheek gently. “I didn’t mean to be, the mission went overtime, and we ran into some trouble.”

“Was it successful, at least?”

“Yeah, thankfully. Wasn’t at first, but, we got Echo home safe.”

“So... why do you seem so... down?” she bit her lip, following him into their bedroom.

“I’m exhausted, sweetheart. Completely drained. I’m sorry if I seem off, I was just put under tons of pressure between Rex and Hunter. They got in a big fistfight, and I had to break it up...” Anakin replied, sitting on the bed and sighing, resting his head in his hands.

“Oh, Ani...” she sighed, resting her hand on his shoulder snd rubbing it gently. “I’m sorry, I know the war is hard enough to deal with.”

He shrugged after a moment and grunted, leaning his head back as he sighed. “I think I’m going to take a shower and forget about this God awful day, I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine, I get it. I was planning on taking a shower too, actually, but I might later then.”

Anakin glanced over at her for a moment, sliding his tongue over his lips and letting out a low hum when she doesn’t move, “Aren’t you coming then?”

She raised a brow in confusion, “What? You want me to come with you?”

“You said you wanted to shower, right? Do it with me, no harm in that,” he responded.

She bit her lip, thinking about all the possible endings. She cautiously stood up, walking over to him, “You sure? I can wait, it’s no problem...”

“Y/n,” he said firmly. “What did I say?”

“You said come shower with me,” she repeated. Anakin nodded, “Well, do you want to or not?” he smirked slyly, crossing his arms and watching her curiously.

She took a moment to look up at him, moving up to kiss him gently, “Better get a move on then, you know I prefer it very hot,” she smirked.

He rolled his eyes playfully and deepened the kiss, moving his hands down her back slowly until she pulled away, “Now you’re the one holding us up.”

“Alright, alright, go and get things ready. I’ll be there.” He kissed her forehead gently then pulled away, walking out of the bathroom.

She suppressed a giggle and smile as she skipped to the bathroom, all the thoughts rushing through her mind as she imagined what could happen.

“You’re tired. He’s tired. I’m sure you’re just showering, don’t get your hopes up.”

Boy, that was a lie. She was brushing out her hair and Anakin stormed into the room, pressing her firmly against the counter, crashing his lips onto hers. She gasped into the kiss and dropped the brush onto the counter, gripping onto the counter sides to keep her up-right as he left no room between him, her, and the counter.

Her eyes fluttered close as he cups her cheeks, moving his human hand down the side of her face to her jawline slowly. “Take it all off,” he mumbles, his voice muffled against her soft lips. “I have other things in mind.

She whimpered against his mouth and pulled away for a moment, her chest heaving as she almost was gasping to catch her breath, “What about showering-?”

“Who says we’re not showering?” he smirked, undressing her with his eyes. She swallowed thickly at his gaze and moved to start striping down slowly, keeping eye contact with him.

“Now look at you, all riled up and nervous,” Anakin smirked crossing his arms and watching her.

“Don’t... don’t look at me like that,” she said softly after she got her bra off, her hands starting to tremble from excitement and straight nerves.

“Why not? It’s getting you to tremble, I like it,” his voice gets darker as he moved closer to her, kissing behind her ear. He moved his long fingers over her panties and hooked them in, slowly pushing them down as they fell to her ankles.

She felt shy and exposed as he pulled away to admire his prize, his eyes growing darker as he watched her. He moved his large hands to her smaller waist and pulled her flush against him, keeping his gaze on her face now, “Are you going to get in?”

She nodded, trying to pull away but his grip on her hipbones was too tight. He loosened his grip just enough for her to slink into the warm shower, and he followed suit right after.

He moved his hand to rub her back gently, keeping his ever-darkening gaze transfixed on her smaller body.

She purposefully tried to ignore him, keeping her back turned to his front as she wets her hair under the warm water trickling from the showerhead, trying to occupy her mind with anything but the obvious - she and her lover were showering together.

Anakin trailed his hands lower then moved so his front was placed firmly against her back, kissing the back of her neck, “Don’t ignore me, sweetheart. You’re on edge, let me help you.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous, I just,” she turned around and looked up at him and her breath hitched, gripping her hair tighter.

There her lover stood, towering over her with water droplets running down his long darkened brown curly hair onto his toned chest, the small droplets falling down his body over all his muscles.

An involuntary whimper escaped her lips as she shamelessly studied his figure, every inch, every angle... he was just perfect.

“You’re staring,” he smirked, his chuckle low as he pulled her flush against him, looking down at her with dark eyes, “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Oh, shut up,” she said quickly, immediately slamming her lips onto his in a frenzied, heated swift movement. He let out a low growl against her lips in content as he pulled her as close as he could get her. She let out a soft moan into his lips as she felt his hard length press against her, causing her to shudder in anticipation.

“Now you’re needy, what changed, my love?” he pulled away from the intoxicating kiss to kiss and suck across her neck, making her moan softly, “I c-changed my mind,” she stammered, her mind blank and fuzzy with lust as her core began to throb with need.

“I can see that,” his voice was smooth yet deep, knowing he could do the slightest thing and get her riled up even further. He moved his hand and pushed her thigh up near his hip, moving it so he had more room as he danced his thumb over her clit slowly.

Her head fell against his chest and she let out tiny breathy whimpers against his skin, her hips jolting in surprise from the newfound pleasure, “Ani—“

“You’re such a needy little thing, aren’t you? You were acting all innocent earlier, and now that I'm rubbing my fingers all over you you’re a mess,” he clicked his tongue in teasing disapproval as he moved his pointer finger to slide into her heat quickly, alongside his middle finger.

Her eyes widened and she moaned loudly in approval, her heavy breathing against his chest quickening with each ministration.

“Ani, I j-just want you— please—!” she looked up at him with a lusty, needy gaze through her lashes, biting her lip to suppress more moans as he fucked her with his fingers. He grunted in response and curled them against her sweet spot, smirking at her reaction, “Is this what you wanted, sweetheart?”

“N-No—! I want your... i want y-your... fuck, Anakin!” she moaned in response, her hips starting to shake as Anakin knew how close she was already.

He chuckled darkly and leaned against her neck, sucking roughly over her already darkening hickeys as he started pounding his fingers into her harder, rubbing her clit faster, “Use your words, little one, I know you can.”

She threw her head back in ecstasy as she moaned, falling off the edge into bliss as Anakin fucked her through it with his fingers, his eyes wandering across her body now quivering from intense pleasure, water droplets falling from her hair down her breasts.

She went to speak when he silences her with an intoxicatingly passionate kiss, cupping her cheek with his metal hand as he helped her ride her high out, “Good girl...” he mumbled against her lips.

She felt completely out of breath, gripping his bicep for support as he pulled his fingers out of her, using his metallic fingers to brush away some of the wet hair from her face.

He moved her body further from the warm water of the shower so she wouldn’t get water in her eyes as he leaned her against the wall. Keeping his hand firm on her hipbone, he moved her thighs apart gently and began to pump himself slowly, his breathing picking up.

He looked in her eyes and saw an intense lusty gaze he hadn’t seen in them for awhile - and he immediately knew she wanted to continue. He moved his free hand to cup the back of her neck, moving her closer so he can kiss her deeply as he pushed himself into her quickly.

She gasped in surprise against his lips, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt him fill her up completely with one swift thrust.

She arched her back against him, gripping his back weakly as he immediately began rocking his hips into her at an unrelenting pace, grunting in her ear, “So fucking tight for me, angel... And so needy, letting me take you in the shower like this...”

She would never admit verbally just how much she loved his dirty talk, his dirty-natured words sending sparks throughout her pussy and her body as she gripped his hair tightly, “Please, this is all I’ve needed,” she moaned almost out of breath, her heart beating out of her chest as she tightened around him.

His loud growl in response edged her to start to roll her hips against his cock, and he smirked in response, leaning down to kiss across her throat, “So—fucking—tight...” he grunted into her ear, his cheeks burning bright red from the mixture of the hot sex and steamy shower.

Her legs buckled and he immediately gripped her closer to him and the wall, moving her to lean back against it more as he lifts her leg to get a deeper angle, causing her to cry out in ecstasy as the pleasure grew too great.

With her already sensitive, her high build much faster than usual and she gripped his hair tighter, digging her fingernails into the back of his head as she panted, her eyes rolling back, “Anakin—!” she moaned weakly.

He recognized that needy, breathy moan all too well as he knew she was close without her needing to say it. He kisses hot open-mouthed kisses across her throat and collarbone, moaning for her to cum for him as he lazily moved his finger down to rub her through her orgasm; the constant throb of her walls sending him closer to the edge.

She let out a loud breathy moan as her high overtook her, letting out small squeals and moans into his ear as it washed over her. She immediately felt numb as it ran through her, the sight of her moaning and the feeling of her throbbing harder causing him to cum. He leaned his head against hers, moaning shakily as he leaned against the wall to steady himself as he fucked them through it, his metal hand firmly on her hipbone to keep them upright.

Her breathing was shaky and uneven as they came down from their highs, and he kissed her hurriedly and softly, “Better?” she muttered against his lips. Anakin nodded softly and chuckled, pulling out after it had fully faded snd pulling them back under the direct range of the water, “Much, much better.”

[theamberwizard]

i’ve been thinking about black widow and the red room recently, as one does, and i’ve got a lot of thoughts about the effects of the red room on widows who’ve escaped. couple things, just before i begin: i would recommend having watched black widow before this because there are implied (?) spoilers, i use way too fancy language while i write and i don’t have an editor cause this is mainly to catch her off guard, so, uh, whoops sorry

trigger warnings: TW: child abuse TW: restricted eating/starving yourself TW: dehumanization TW: death of a child

so yeah, enjoy my list of 10 personal headcanons about how the red room fucks you up on all the levels.

1) black widows cannot sleep in. like, they wake up at 5:00 am every day. it’s not a physical thing, at least not as far as they know, because they can negate that by just going to bed two hours or less before 5:00 am just from their lack of sleep. if, however, they go to sleep at a fairly normal hour they will, like clockwork, wake up at 5:00. this stems from them doing it every single day of their life since they got indoctrinated in the red room. if they didn’t wake up at 5:00 am ready for more training or missions, for any reason, they would be tortured. sometimes physically, sometimes mentally. eventually, all the widows would get that message. they still can’t shake it. because of that, natasha will often refuse to go to sleep at a normal hour, trying to force her body into submission, trying to rid herself of the painful memories that accompanied sleep and waking up afterwards. only clint knows why, because each day in that vent, natasha would snap up at 4:00 am. she had to explain to him that she just wasn’t accustomed to budapest time, and that actually, it was 5:00 am in russia.

2) for months after escaping the red room, widows practically cannot eat. in the red room, they were fed mushy messes of meals, filled with only the necessary nutrients that they absolutely had to have to survive. most widows can only get down one meal, maybe even a snack if they push it, until they throw it all up. they have to slowly eat slightly more each day for weeks until they can get down a normal intake of food. even then, it’s hard to push that, and every widow relapses into throwing up in those early stages. however, this isn’t normally a problem for most widows until a couple weeks into their life with freedom. that’s about the time that they make an acquaintance, who will eventually pluck up the courage to ask them why every time said friend will eat near the widow, the widow will lean over and whisper: “careful, that’s your whole ration today and i don’t want to do extra training.”

3) each “class” of widows had an extra mentor teacher in their early red room years. this was an older widow, someone who’d been falling behind in her recent missions, and with a look that the red room deemed “motherly”. their sole purpose was to be the person each widow got attached too, the parental figure. they were nice, they were helpful, they taught many different basic techniques. then, one day, the red room would have another older widow, (one already introduced to the children as the metaphorical “bad cop” of this scenario) come in and inform the mentor that she had failed her latest mission and proceed to, in front of thirty eleven year-olds, shoot the mentor. the mentor widow would not die that day- the red room refused to waste such a weapon- but the class of up incoming widows would be informed that she had. the official purpose of this exercise was to demonstrate to both the trainees and the trainer the consequences of failing a mission. the unofficial purpose? that would be the last psychological effects the mentor’s “death” would have upon the class, making them learn what happened to attachments in the red room. the day natasha’s class experienced this was the day she cut off all contact with her sister. the day yelena experiences this is the day she first another widow- because yelena killed that mentor with her own bare hands before the informant ever finished the announcement.

4) towards the start of the red room’s history, there were several attacks on the red room. the first ever attack was from a local police station who had been getting complaints of loud wailing, and, upon further investigation, realized what they were dealing with. they brought several other police and militia groups from nearby towns. the immediate action that was taken was to throw the littlest girls they had at the attackers. it stopped the police in their tracks, obviously, because you really don’t expect to come across thirty little girls while searching through a building of highly trained assassins. the red room then sent their fully trained widows and killed everyone. including the girls. the red room then found that footage from their cameras (because of fucking course they have cameras) and then showed it to the next batch of widows, just to show them how disposable they were.

5) yelena and natasha almost caused a whole fucking mutiny within the red room just because of their names. in the red room, you see, widows do not get names. they instead are bestowed with numbers, and even those are a twisted class ranking. they all wore little name tags with the numbers on them until came natasha and yelena came in. yelena, having just seen her mother get shot, complied almost immediately and was addressed as number 42. on the other side of that coin you have natasha, who had already been in the red room and remembered every gruesome detail, and went “fuck you my name is natalia.” upon hearing of this (word gets around fast in the red room. every girl must know they are being listened to at all times, and no secrets can be kept from the red room,) yelena too announced her name to the class.

6) this was met with blanching from every child in that class, because how on earth can you be called by a word? no, they thought, we are numbers, we are weapons, we are not people and we cannot have our own words, for we are not worthy. but secretly, internally, they wished for a name. slowly, they began piecing syllables together until they formed a coherent name, and for the first time in the red room’s long history, they didn’t have weapons. not anymore. they have two full classes of human little girls. the red room officials heard of this, obviously, and took to the only method they had now. violence. the classes were rid of the named girls, yet natasha and yelena were kept alive. they were kept alive to be ostracized, to be the girl the others pointed at and said “she’s the reason all my friends died.” they were kept alive so they could watch the carnage they had unwittingly caused just by saying their own names. and the worst part? well, the worst part was when the teachers accounted for those kills, and made them top of the class. yelena will never forget the day the teachers stood her and her sister up in front of all the widows-in-traning and told them what a good job they had done, how those tactics were sure to help them graduate. i mean, you’re practically a shoo-in if they rest of your class was killed by your school.

7) the red room could never fully stop the names, and so they decided to make a system, and the names would be the highest reward. they told the young, impressionable girls that while maybe outsiders such as natasha and yelena got names at birth, you had to earn them here. if you are to become a spy, you will take on the name of you very first official alias. if, instead, you become an assassin, you will take on the name of your very first official kill. of course, in reality, the widows couldn’t actually address each other with their new earned names, and instead used “team leader” or other such titles. but it became a small comfort for them, thinking of themselves in third person, with their very own names. in some small part they weren’t fully weapons anymore, no, they were people again. natasha took on the name natalia, because in her mind that life in ohio had been her first mission, even if she hadn’t known it. yelena took on yelena as well, but in her mind that little girl in ohio who was sitting in the backseat, caring only about which song they played, that girl had to have been yelena’s first true kill.

8) the names system worked well in the red room, but when you escaped it caused some serious problems. most would have to announce themselves to the russian government, saying they had been flying under the radar their whole life and never became registered. then, they’d give a non-russian name, and their whole ruse would fall apart. unfortunately, this was the least of their problems, because many a widow would someday meet a relative of their very first kill, and when they introduced themselves as the person they had killed all those years ago, the families and friends would often figure them out.

9) one of the biggest parts of the red room’s brainwashing was their little catchphrases they used. ironically, a lot of them were eerily close to boy scout mottos- “be prepared,” an iconic scout motto, versus “there is no safety, only preparedness,” the most frequently used phrase within the red room. when widows then escaped, the most small phrase could set them off. some unknowing widows even adopted little boys in their new lives, who often became boy scouts. the ensuing misery is something you can imagine yourself.

10) after clint helped natasha to escape, she immediately died her hair blond.  clint asked why, of course, and she didn’t tell him. (what, you thought i’d have another cute clintasha moment? never.) this was partly because she hadn’t admitted it to herself, though, because natasha couldn’t remember her sister without remembering all the suffering that came with her.

11) when the widows were smaller, more susceptible to the conditioning, the red room would stage infiltrations. older widows, ones who were closer to retirement, would come in in different uniforms, sometimes the uniforms of UN officers or local police, sometimes different organizations, all different types. the most recent uniforms made yelena sick looking at them, because each time the older widows would pretend to be the avengers there would also be one pretending to be her sister. each time she saw the fake natasha she wanted to break that widow’s neck because that’s not how my sister tilts her head, you’re doing it all wrong. you should be doing it like this, you shouldn’t be doing it at all, i should be doing this, i know my sister. each time those exact thoughts went into her head, and each time all she really wanted was for her sister to be there, for natasha to do her little head tilt upon seeing yelena and take her hand and say “you’re safe now, i promise,” and for natasha to be telling the truth. the only problem was that deep down inside herself yelena knew that this could never actually happen while yelena was still in the red room, because while yelena was still in the red room she knew that she would look at natasha telling her she was safe and tell her in return that there was no safety, only preparedness, and then murder her sister in cold blood.