#i have plenty of drawings ive made and liked and just decided not to post them

[sidereon-spaceace]

It's wild being a writer/artist. I can just decide not to show people stuff. Not even in a "oh no my story has spoilers" way but in a "who let me have this kind of power" way.

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[3liza]

talking about flters and real beauty vs fake beauty and cultural standards etc always makes me think about all the victorian and edwardian novels i read, where the things that people thought about beauty were recorded at length. recently ive been reading a lot of Thomas Hardy (best known for Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Jude the Obscure) and there’s so much discussion of the beauty of people, particularly love interests, both men and women. and these writers, and their eras, and the culture of the eras, was of course obsessed with beauty and youth and also artificial beauty (being the eras of the really transformative corsets, not to mention some of the earliest industrialized or modernized beauty products or processes), as all human societies are to a greater or lesser extent in their own ways, but the thing that sticks out to me in reading these books is how beauty is not the singular or even the most important aspect of a person’s overall attraction. if someone has a beautiful face or figure, it is mentioned, but never to the obsessive, fixated extent that physical beauty is isolated from and elevated over all other features in modern american/western culture. there are plenty of protagonists or love interests in these books who are described as not young, or not remarkable, or not pretty, or even ugly or frightening, but nevertheless compellingly sexy and attractive, or simply interesting, or worthy in some way. 

its weird that the cultural consciousness has become seemingly ignorant of non-physical attraction. like that anon that was in my inbox talking about how they were “normal looking’ and therefore “needed” filters in order to “compete” with attractive people. it’s a weirdly mercenary and capitalist view of the social economy, first of all, which absolutely is not zero-sum no matter how badly the social networks want to convince us that it is. but there was never a single mention from that person about their ability to charm or entertain or attract using anything except a fake photo of themselves. wild. im fuckin worried about them! im worried about every young person how has brain worms

when i was about 4 and starting to become aware of how much adults were obsessed with my appearance because i was dainty and blonde and could do a passable shirley temple imitation, my parents gave me a very serious lecture about what physical beauty actually meant: i didn’t work for it (yet, i mean i do a lot of work now as an adult), it was given to me genetically. and someday, maybe sooner or more suddenly than anyone could predict, it would be gone. if accident, illness, or hardship didnt get me, old age eventually would. so with that being a certainty, i had better build a life and a personality on something other than my looks. and i said, ok. every day i get older im more grateful for that advice and the fact i decided to take it to heart instead of trying to gamble on Being Hot for long enough to get job security. which is also a valid career choice but it’s a risky one. always better to have a fallback just in case.

im of an age rn where a lot of women in my peer group are starting to get a very hunted vibe about the impending end of their youth, which is valid. theres nothing foolish about it, its not their fault, theyre not stupid or somehow lacking because this is an issue in their lives. but im noticing that i am significantly less freaked out by, idk, how long ago the 90s were or whatever, because i have been expecting to get old since i was in kindergarten. and i had adults around me who were just like “hey this is what old people look like and what bodies do over time. its not a big deal. everything on tv is fake btw”. i didnt get out unscathed, ive had eating disorders and all sort of weird brain-body problems. 

my advice i guess if i have any is to go outside and really look around you. notice how almost every single woman, and most men, has at least some cellulite, even if its just when theyre sitting down or whatever. notice how everyone has blemishes and zits. most people have some dandruff. if someone is wearing makeup, it’ll be cakey or balled up or smeared or uneven or clumpy even if it’s just a bit. everyone over the age of about 20 will have stretch marks somewhere, even if they aren’t visible except in certain light. i was under the impression i didnt have many until one time seeing a picture of my butt in FULL natural light and finally saw the entire surface of both cheeks was covered in straitions, they just were hard to see most of the time because im the color of drywall and scars tend to be light. it’s really easy to spot hair extensions and wigs and fake nails and fake tans and shapewear once you figure out how to see it. and none of these things take away from someone’s character. 

there’s a strong argument to be made that when corsetry was the norm, no woman was expected to simply be the shape of the corset unless she was actually wearing it. photographs and drawings of women in the 19th and early 20th century were retouched a bit as all photos have been, yes, but they were not retouched to make naked women appear to be corset-shaped. THAT is new. people are now getting surgery to be corset-shaped. and like, i dont think anyone should not be able to look however they want if they want to have that surgery. that is one meaning of cyborg feminism, probably. what i dont want, is for anyone to ever think that’s a normal way to look (except for veryvery tiny mathematical outliers, the Barbie Hips Georg of instagram) WITHOUT surgery or shapewear. which i see a lot now. i saw an instagram fashion designer with a very obviously surgically-altered body answer a question in her inbox about how she maintained her figure with some nonsense about diet and exercise. so now some (probably young) person out there is thinking that if they just do intermittent fasting enough, theyll look like a woman with butt and boob implants, a BBL, fillers, etc. that person probably thinks that if they arent able to diet and exercise good enough, they will fail at looking that way through their own laziness and lack of work ethic or whatever. i see that mindset constantly, especially in young women.

the surgery isnt the issue. the look itself isnt the issue. the filters themselves arent the issue. the issue is that on none of these images, is there an indication of what has been changed or how. the brain damage effect of filters would be lessened, i think, if everyone KNEW which images had been altered and how. so maybe thats the answer? mandatory labeling? i dont know. what’s terrifying is that the average adult human in america cant tell from a glance what has been altered in a photograph, no matter how clumsily, because they simply dont have a template for what a real human looks like anymore. the false images have supplanted the real images, the actual memories of alive humans that you know and have met or lived with. 

if you go into any of the shittier men’s spaces online you will find threads for posting pictures of “beautiful girls”, and it is page after page after page of teenagers in full makeup, hair extensions or wigs, circle lenses, facetuned, bodytuned, surgery, etc, and then hundreds of men yearning and fanning themselves over her “natural beauty”. dont go looking for this stuff, it will permanently fuck you up to know what a basic guy on the bus is thinking about women every day. dont do it

but i also seriously predict a backlash into “natural” looks after this current madness, similarly to how the 1960s saw the rise of the hippie girl with swingin titties, pit hair and no high heels after the consumer beauty madness of the 50s. of course the 60s beauty ideals were in some ways just as fake, but there was some authentic yearning towards a freedom from capitalist bodies as well. so when that happens send me $20: paypal.me/3liza. should be in like the next 4 years or so. thanks

[tigerdrop]

Okay so. you mentioned something in your post about wondering how teens in the fandom are doing and. Im almost 19, right, I read (and have read) a lot of nsfw stuff, ive done fairly nsfw things (mostly online because i came of age during quarantine) and this fandom is *hell*. i feel weird and gross sometimes reading fics that have characters like me because i *want* to be doing the shit theyre doing, but theres this weird hang up about grown men touching dicks. being trans doesnt help :P

continuing the ask i just sent, being trans doesnt help because the only times i see people like me having sex is either weirdly fetishized porn, OF that i cant pay for because i still live with my parents and dont have a job, or fanfiction, basically. its genuinely hard to find content that isnt fan made that i can find and get off to, and even then, for the fan made shit, so many people are weird about grown men writing about other grown men fucking. i hate it here. 

yeah the thing about being called a predator or a freak for so long by so many people is that, regardless of how true it is, its gonna stick. and it sucks. and i am going to tell you the same thing i have been obsessively reminding myself of for the past few months: sex is completely normal to read about, write about, to depict and think about and have. all the more so when the subject matter we are talking about is as tame as “fictional grown men having consensual sex together”. like, sure, okay, you might imprint on fuckin half life machinima characters instead of something more socially acceptable, but people have latched on to weirder. who gives a shit

im sure i dont really have to harp on the subject in 2021 but ive been given a soapbox so: there is literally nothing wrong with making horny shit about these guys. theyre the same as any other fictional characters. gordon is not wayne. gordon is a scientist in his late 20s with a masters degree and a predilection for being a huge jerk. wayne is a streamer with plenty of friends who seems like a pretty nice guy when he is not actively acting as gordon. it is mostly peoples overdeveloped parasocial relationships with the guy that make them get so blisteringly angry over the subject. it does not matter to them that wayne has told them to just let it go and let people make whatever weird shit theyre gonna make in peace.

and i promise you. i guarantee you. they think its more fucking weird and embarrassing that theyve amassed a fandom of children who cannot stop finding shit to cause drama about or turning their improv funnymen characters into slice-of-life anime homestucks or repeating the same lines back to them, over and over and over. there are a lot of reasons why the wrtv crew has distanced themselves so much from hlvrai but i can assure u that a stranger online writing about having phone sex with benrey had very little, if anything, to do with it. at worst we are something for them to laugh at when they get bored and decided to go digging for it.

my final message: its also wildly homophobic to insist that gay relationships in fiction are only okay if they dont have sex. and to call queers a bunch of maladjusted freaks for wanting to see men having gay sex. what the fuck do you think these guys are doing after all the kissing and ikea shopping and marriages yall keep drawing??? people in gay relationships fuck, honey!

[ao3-sucks]

my own ao3 experience was that i got into it when i was in a huge fandom that had a bunch of underage and incestuous pairings and fics. i really started getting into it when i was like fresh into middle school and not soon after that id start reading a bunch of explicit fics. basically pretty sure reading that stuff is what made me feel anxious around my 2 older siblings and like if i showed any kind of affection like even a hug or just laughing at a joke sometimes itd be seen as a sign of attraction. im in my 20s now and it still really affects me. i feel like less valid with my online trauma somehow bc i did it to myself lol.

  Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I got manipulated by an adult into writing an extremely triggering fic about rape and abuse between two young siblings, and ended up having to draw on my own traumatic experiences for it. I pretended to be okay with it, and let them say it was my fault it was like that, and when I finally got tired of hiding it and publicly called them out on it, multiple people defended them, using that pretense against me. I still haven't fully recovered from that. Sometimes I wonder if it really was my fault. 

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

thank you SO MUCH for this blog, I was groomed into thinking the wildest of things were acceptable by fandom people, and it wasnt until i was about 15 or 16 that i finally wised up and dropped the thinking once and for all. thank you again and have a really good week!

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I don’t really know how old the post that talked about the experience of one of the mods with ao3 is, but just in case, this is about that post that had mentions of r//pe and @“cest. And damn, I’ve never stopped to think that my aversion to sex maybe came from my early exposure to that kind of stuff, now I know that I’m asexual, but it’s comforting to see that I’m not alone in this, so thank you for sharing your story

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

god this is probably stupid and you dont have to post this if you don't want to, but thank you so much for making this page. ive had similar experiences in online fandom and ive really struggled with classifying any of it as "real" since it was all online. that post talking about your experience with everything was really eye opening for me. thank you for reminding me im not alone.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

wrt your ao3 essay // thank you for sharing your story about ao3. ive had some similar experiences, but i never interacted with anyone on ao3, just read ff. in around a 1-2 years of consuming that content, i had developed some psychosis relating to sexual trauma, but i never had anything happen to me so i didnt really know what to think. i was just scared. its nice to know that.. it wasnt just random? that more people are talking about this? something like that. thank you. i hope you are well.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

i just read through your experiences and while i was never really involved with fanfiction during my childhood, i WAS exposed to plenty of other weird interactions on other sites starting probably as early as 11  and just realized that me starting to use the internet more probably coincides with me showing similar things such as starting to hate being touched and consider myself asexual/sex repulsed. it was nothing that i'd considered to be that impactful or big a deal before and there weren't really specific people to blame, but i definitely don't know how to feel about this knowledge now.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

just read that post abt your ao3 experience and holy fuck, so sorry you had to go through that. but also, thank you. its scary to think tht ive cldve been in the same situation since i was browsing the internet from a v young age. i was huge into roleplaying and thereve been a few times where it became, uuh... not completely sfw (unknowingly to me, i just wanted to rp). but the moment it became too weird, i ghosted n blocked (i had a very anti-internet-stranger policy). again, thanks. take care

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I was 12 when I got my first ship. I got into it because of the cute art online and I never once thought about it being bad. It was pedophilic amongst other things. I just started writing fic, so I wrote for this ship. I was asked to write straight up human AU "porn where xyz is a pedo" by people far older than me. I didn't know any better, I wrote it and every other request like it. It go so bad that I though that pedophilia was OKAY. It took me so long to unlearn that and many other things because of that ship and I still feel bad for ever having shipped it. So when people say things like "fiction doesn't effect reality" it makes me mad. It teaches little kids that things like pedophilia and rape are okay.

I opted to answer these as a group because they are all so similar. It breaks my heart how often I get anons, post replies, and reblogs about my AO3 essay from people saying that my experiences closely mirrored theirs. I hope that everyone who has sent me these messages can forgive themselves for what happened to them, and know that it’s not your fault that other people decided to take advantage of you. I’m working on healing, and I hope you can all do the same.

- Mod Daft

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ppl be like "Magnus can't have flaws??! How dare you say nice things about him?!??" sometimes. All of Magnus' characteristics that we use to describe him are Canon but ppl act like we're making his personality up??? Saw someone tag a post abt ppl only making up personalities for guys nd not girls with his name as if he wasn't a main and didn't have his own story+background. It was made worse as they tagged the same post with damon Salvatore nd now I feel sick.

Book!magnus isn't flawed he's a straight up asshole. Ppl like to say he's better than show!magnus because of his dick ways and I'm just like: ????. Show!Magnus does have flaws idiots just lack the critical thinking to find them!

idk who damon salvatore is (i mean im vaguely aware hes from that vampire diaries thing but i know nothing beyond that) but otherwise i agree with u (also, ppl got a lot of nerve putting a coc in a list like that like being a moc means being treated even slightly the same way as a white man lmao. i mean yeah sure hes still got male privilege but are you serious? fandom treating a coc like he deserves nuance and well thought out headcanons and love and attention? wish i lived in that world)

what rlly drives me crazy about this whole "magnus is allowed to have flaws" thing is that like, yeah, he sure is! especially because poc are never allowed to be even the slightest bit human, much less flawed, without people getting up in arms about it. magnus' got plenty of flaws! he's stubborn, he's self sacrificial, he hides his feelings from others, he pushes ppl away when they get too close to his vulnerabilities, he has a tendency to simply Decide what other ppl want or need (like with alec and that whole moving to idris thing), he is impulsive, and a lot of other shit

and it's exactly those flaws that draw me to him, honestly! like i talk about how kind and caring he is all the time, and that is true, but i know that this is, at least partially, him feeling like he needs to be useful to be loved, and erasing himself/defining himself by what he can do for others, which is the same trait that leads him to act in all these ways i mentioned above. it's why i relate to him! it's why i love him! magnus isn't perfect, he is good, a good person, and there's a difference

which is the point i have been wanting to make when i started writing this answer because like. what drives me crazy the most is how those dark magnus stans or whatever love to say that they write him as an evil person who literally enjoys hurting others (like im sorry but have you watched the show?) because he's "allowed to have flaws". usually the same ppl who keep being like "i write my relationships realistically!" and when u check out their fics, it's like, literally abuse. like straight up physical violence and manipulation and gaslighting. and. that's not being realistic, girl! that's normalizing abuse

and it's one thing if this is a dark fic and its supposed to be bad or whatever and u just want to explore that, god knows i write about abuse all the damn time. its another to be like "actually if ppl arent like that its not realistic and ur writing them as perfect uwu beans and u have no nuance and are a bad writer". cuz honestly, if u think "having flaws" is being straight up abusive, and that it's "unrealistic" otherwise, then that tells me all i need to know about how u live ur relationships. if u think its literally impossible to exist in the real world without abusing others then i dont want to have shit to do with u, buddy

(and im not even saying that from just a logical standpoint but also from experience because ive had exes and ex friends who used this whole "actually humans are naturally selfish and dont care about others and enjoy hurting others it's human nature" rethoric [and the whole "realistic" thing is really just that except applied to fiction] and surprise! they were all abusive! either to me or other ppl i knew, usually both)

and it's not unrealistic to be kind and care about others! on the contrary, it's a very normal and natural human trait. so miss me with that "either ur character literally enjoys torturing other ppl or he's being written as perfect" shit. which of course gains particularly strong tones when ppl r writing coc, esp moc. like no one insists that if alec doesn't feel literal pleasure hurting others then that's unrealistic and ppl r making his personality up and treating him like he's perfect. i wonder why 🙄

like the bar for "being written realistically" for white ppl is having flaws, for poc it's being straight up cruel

miss me with that shit! magnus is kind, he is selfless, he is caring, he is willing to do anything to help others, he is loving beyond anything else even after all his trauma! and yes, he is still flawed and realistic, and no, he is not an innocent baby. if he were i wouldn't be into it because i don't want a character who's kind because he doesn't know better, i want a character who's kind because they choose to. nothing could possibly be more boring to me than a character who's nice and unaware that other ppl might be assholes, i want characters who know exactly how terrible other people can be, who have experienced it firsthand, but who are still kind because that's who they are and what they believe in. and that's magnus! he knows perfectly well how full of horrors the world is, how sometimes there is no right choice, how sometimes u need to make sacrifices, how some people are really selfish and cruel and he's even been used by those specifically because he's too kind of selfless. he just chooses to still be kind and selfless anyway

if you could never, that's not my problem, or his writing's lol

[mca-attack21]

Mystery Bullet Part 3

This is the third and final part to this series, thanks for joining me on the ride! Part 1: Here  Part 2: Here

The phone rung a couple of times before Sherlock answered. “Awh John, you’re missing the fun.”

“She’s okay, just had a bad reaction to the antigens in the blood they gave her during surgery.”

“Did they give her the wrong blood?”

“They claim they didn’t, but that is the only thing that makes sense.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant! The bullets weren’t made of ice, they were made of blood. That explains everything.”

“I’m not sure I follow,”

“Think about it the bullet disappeared. She had a bad reaction to antigens. Ice wasn’t dense enough, but the blood would be perfect. Someone used human blood to create a projectile that when froze with liquid nitrogen and shot by pressurized air would resemble a bullet. It wouldn’t leave an exit wound and would dissolve. It also explains why she said the wound site was cold.” Sherlock explained.

“She’s awake now, you should come and see her. She’s asked about you,” John replied.

“I’m glad she is okay, I will come to visit when I have solved the case” Sherlock replied.

“Sherlock, she is still in critical condition, you do understand that right?”

“The auction is tomorrow, we are running out of time,” Sherlock answered before hanging up.

John wanted to call him back, but he knew that it was no use. He instead went into your room and sent Molly home for the night. When you woke up he explained what had happened and Sherlock’s blood bullet theory.

“Have you found the paintings yet?” you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“The real paintings are still in the Museum somewhere. There is too much traffic, extra security, and outside security cameras for them to have been removed. None of the other security cameras were tampered with and no other guards were affected. It had to be an inside job because someone walked in and out of that well-lit room without drawing suspicion and left the same way. They had to be in there well before they actually shot the security guard. Between that and the looping footage, I would assume that the guard was in on the heist and then was double-crossed. Regardless, there is no possible way that the art was removed it is somewhere in that room. I called the art restorator that you met, he said that he would meet with me to check over the paintings. He wanted me to come in that night, but I told him it would have to wait. Oh my god, it was him!” you realized.

“How so?” John asked.

“He knew that I was on to him and he knew you and Sherlock wouldn’t be home. He had access to the facility and no one would question where he was going. He has worked at the gallery for a while and would have had plenty of time to plan everything out.” you explained.

John was laughing and pulling out his phone.

“What?” you asked.

“You are insane, that is what. I need to get normal friends,” he answered. 

“Is everything okay?” Sherlock answered.

“Yes, but you need to go to the museum, I’ll meet you there.”

 “Why?”

“Because Y/n solved the case and we need to go pick up the paintings and culprit. I’ll explain when we get there. Call Mycroft.” he said and hung up.

“Okay now, you are going to lay here and rest. No exceptions. Sherlock and I will come by when it’s over and we will see what we have to do to get you out of here. Is there anyone you’d like me to call?” he asked.

“Nope, I think I’ll take a nap. Be careful,” you answered.

Sherlock and John went to the museum. It didn’t take them long to discover where the real paintings were being hidden. They then went to Dr. Argonza’s office, to no one’s surprise he wasn’t there. They did find a cryogenic dewar which could have easily been used to store the blood bullets. There was an airbrush and pipe that Sherlock was sure could provide enough velocity to cause the injuries. The entire rig would easily fit under a coat and be hidden. Sherlock filled his brother in and together they came up with a plan to switch the duplicates back with the originals and wait for Dr. Argonza at the auction where they would pick him up.

Convinced that not even Mycroft’s men could screw this up, John and Sherlock prepared to leave. John had them stop by the flat to pick you up some spare clothes for your return trip. He was surprised to see that Sherlock had cleaned up the blood and everything from his experiments earlier that day. He was glad that this was almost over and that things would soon be back to normal. 

When they arrived at the hospital they were told visitation hours were over and made some type of excuse using their “badges” to get passed the nurse. John led the way to your room and Sherlock followed. They were surprised to hear talking from your room. That surprised turned to concern when they realized that your door was locked.

Meanwhile:

You were tired and understandably so. But how were you supposed to get any sleep when nurses were constantly coming in and poking and prodding you. This nurse was different, you hadn’t seen him yet. He came over and prepared to inject another medication into your IV. 

“I had my last round of medication an hour ago,” you spoke confused.

“This is a post-op Antibiotic, Doctors’ orders,” he said nonchalantly.

“Which one?” you asked painfully forcing yourself to sit up to get a better look. 

“Carbenicillin? That can’t be right. I have a severe reaction to Beta Lactums.” you explained.

“Hmm, it doesn’t say that in your chart,” he replied before injecting it in.

You immediately tore out your IV and tried to hit the Nurse call button, shouting for help. 

“Shut up! Shut up!” he shouted coming over and placing his hand over your nose and mouth forcefully. You tried to fight against him but your body was too weak and the fear was taking over.

“If you would have just stayed out of it, none of this would have happened. I didn’t want to kill you, but you’re too much of a liability now,” he explained.

You were beyond scared now tears running down your cheeks. You fought against it with everything you had but it was too much. The burning in your chest took over and the black circles grew. 

That is when Sherlock and John burst through the door. Sherlock ripped Dr. Argonza off of you and threw him on the ground. You gasped and struggled to breathe. John had him at gunpoint until security was able to collect him. Even then, he waited with him until Mycroft showed up with his men to take him away. Back in your room, the nurses had kicked Sherlock out so they could thoroughly check you over. You were understandably a mess and demanded AMA forms. You gave them no choice and fought through the pain to remove all of the monitors that were hooked up to you. You sat up sheepishly and started putting on the clothes that John had brought. The nurses tried to reason with you, but you weren’t having it. That is when one of them decided to let Sherlock in to see if he could talk any sense into you.

“What is it that you think you are doing?” he asked concerned.

“I’m leaving. Are you going to help me?” you replied clutching your head.

“Y/n, you can’t leave. You need to stay here and let them take care of you, you’re in no condition to go home” he tried and then he saw something that shook him; you started crying. 

“I can’t stay here, please don’t make me stay here” you cried.

He felt like he was entirely unequipped to handle this situation and wished that John was there.

“It’s okay Y/n, everything is going to be okay. Just lay back down.” he tried.

“I want to go home Sherlock, I’d rather die there than stay here,” you sobbed. 

He went over to your side and did something that was very rare for Sherlock, he gave you a hug. 

“I was so scared” you revealed.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s over now,” he soothed. 

“I can’t stay here, Sherlock,” you added.

“I know, we’ll figure it out. Just relax,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,”

“You have nothing to be sorry for Y/n, just lay back down until John returns,” Sherlock instructed taking a seat next to you. It wasn’t long before you fell back asleep. And shortly after that both John and Mycroft walked in.

“What is all this?” John asked referring to you sleeping in your clothes and not being hooked up to the machines.  

“She doesn’t want to stay here. She signed AMA’s and tried to leave.” Sherlock informed.

“Well she doesn’t get a choice, she needs to stay and be looked after,” John replied. 

“You know, I have never seen her cry before today.” Sherlock whispered, “She literally said that she rather die at our flat than to stay here.”

“We can’t take care of her in this condition,” John reminded.

“Mycroft, do you think that I can cash in a favor?” Sherlock asked acknowledging his brothers’ presence for the first time.

“You are running low on those, what do you want this time?” Mycroft returned.

“The VIP suite here until Y/n can safely check out,” Sherlock replied still not taking his eyes off of your sleeping form.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said as he exited the room.

“We almost lost her three times today John,” Sherlock realized.

“She’ll be okay though, and that’s what counts,” John reminded.

The next two days were spent in the VIP suite of the hospital. Sherlock refused to leave your side even though you told him it was okay. The Art Gallery covered the entirety of your medical expenses as compensation for you saving the auction. When you were finally allowed to go home, you were ordered to take it easy for a week. Sherlock refused to take any cases during that time, which was quite out of character. This mystery was one of the few which never made it on the blog, and that was okay.

[meowlayn-art]

Hello im new to tumblr. My sister had been telling and showing me alot about your work and youve inspired her to start on digital art and may i add you are very talented i see why shes basically obsessed haha. So i was thinking of gifting her a drawing tablet bc she uses my ipad all the time and was talking about getting her own. (Shes probably gonna see this but... eh) Im a normal student i usually only take notes on my ipad and browse through stuff. I would like to ask you does the size of the display and the storage matters for drawing and taking notes? Bc im torn and i need opinions.. ive watched alot of yt videos but none really answer my questions. So i thought of asking you that is if you don't mind...

Hi Anon !

I don’t know where to start... First off, your message is super heartwarming : knowing that my art inspired your sister to start digital art is absolutely amazing and THANK YOU for the lovely feedback and for reaching out to me ! (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)  💜 (Don’t worry I am sure there are plenty of amazing siblings like you on Tumblr so she’ll never knoooooow hehe) I’ll do my best to help you but please keep in mind that I am in no way a specialist ! I have a Wacom drawing tablet and an refurbished 2017 Ipad Pro ( I talked more about it here) so my advices are merely the result of my small experience and my own research when I got my Ipad this summer !

You’ll find a few elements under the cut that will hopefully help you decide which device you should buy for your sister !

First off, I just wanted to make it clear that an Ipad isn’t technically a drawing tablet per se, even though it can be used as such… so depending on how your sister will use it and your budget you might want to considering buying a real drawing tablet. If that’s the case, I already made a post here about what they are, the different types and a few examples of entry-level drawing tablets that are a good and fairly “cheap” way to start out. :)

If your sister is already used to Procreate and if she’ll use her Ipad for other activities besides drawing, then you will probably want to buy an Ipad indeed.

I have absolutely no experience in taking notes with an Ipad whatsoever, being with an keyboard or an Apple Pencil, so I can’t help you with this part unfortunately ^^��� For drawing tho, I would focus on :

Getting at least a 10.5’’ screen or more - smaller might be a bit less comfortable to draw, plus it usually means it’s a fairly “older” model that will become obsolete fairly quickly

Getting enough RAM – probably the most important because a small RAM will limit the amount of high resolution layers you can use on Procreate, which can be a pain. From what I understand a 4GB or 6GB ram is the best and the max (both will guarantee the exact same amount of layers tho).

The actual storage capacity – but this one isn’t actually that important if you only use your Ipad for drawing because the Procreate canvases do not take that much storage from what I’ve seen (contrary to pictures, videos, apps…)

The Apple Pencil : there are 2 generations so make sure you get one that is compatible with the Ipad you’ll choose.

Here are the 3 videos that helped me the most when choosing an Ipad – if you haven’t watched them, I highly recommend them. They are a bit technical but honestly they were incredibly useful. They should still be relevant even now.

BeeJayDel’s “Which iPad Should You Buy For Art in 2019?”

BeeJayDel’s review for the 2020 Ipad Pro 

Brooke Glaser’s “Which iPad is Best for Art?”” 

Ultimately I settled for a 2017, 12.9′ refurbished Ipad Pro (Ram is 4GB, storage capacity... 256GB ? I don’t remember) but that’s my personal choice, for my personal needs.

My last advices :

do not necessary buy the last Ipad Pro model. Slightly older model still do the job perfectly, sometimes even better than the new ones ^^

consider getting a refurbished Ipad if they are easily available in your country : they work just as well as “brand new ones”, they are cheaper, and you’ll save tons of resources (the high-tech industry isn’t the most eco-friendly nor is it the most ethical unfortunately).

Do not forget to get a protection case and a screen protector for the Ipad if you can. It’s another investment but it really helps keeping your device for longer :)

I hope you’ll find it useful and thank you again for your message Anon !  💜

[magireco]

ive never played/watched magireco but do you think the large cast is a part of iroha just being seen as “madoka 2” ?? ive never touched the thing because from what i know its much darker than the original anime, but i do know there’s like 20 thousand megucas in the game and each of them has their own story, so there’s plenty of characters that could be seen as more interesting. theres also the fact that a lot of people dont like gacha games (and magireco, other than being one, is sexualized quite a bit so that probably makes people steer away from it as well, but that’s another topic) and magireco NA no longer exists anyways so it’s harder to actually understand the new content, plus as far as i’m aware season 2 of the magireco anime has not been confirmed to be planned? correct me if i’m wrong on that though

hi!! i have a lot to cover with this ask, so i’m going to answer your questions as neatly as i can in a fun little numbered list. read under the cut!

1. what do you mean by large cast? if you’re talking about how there’s more characters in the game/anime than in the original series, then i don’t think that really has anything to do with iroha. it might just be to garner fans’ collective interest since the original anime hit it off so hard. also, it’s just really hard to please huge collectives of people, especially really critical anime fans... *shiver.*

2. i think iroha bearing a similar resemblance to madoka was used to draw old fans back in, as well as living up to the tradition of all “main character” magical girls having pink hair. iroha and yachiyo were probably meant to resemble madoka and homura at least design-wise, and also seeing iroha, madoka, and homura together in one image is visually appealing; the colors and the familiar faces next to a new face are nice to look at.

3. magia record is not nearly as dark as the original series! in the anime, there are no main-cast deaths. this does not inherently prove that a show isn’t dark, but literally, the only onscreen death is of yachiyo’s friend from her original team, and that was in a flashback... rather than slowly losing characters as the story goes on, it starts off with iroha alone, then she meets other magical girls and they form a team, etc. i go on about this on my blog bc, once again, in my opinion, magia record has much more hopeful undertones and actually gives the girls a chance to, well... live. it’s an alternate timeline(that madokami can’t interfere with, there’s lore to that) wherein glasses homura is the homura featured(she actually gets a lot of character growth in the game), the main quintet is all together, the mikazuki villa crew really are just the found family trope combined in a little package. 

4. there are a few reasons for there being a lot of characters in the game, one of them being that they literally adapted every spinoff into the game. oriko magica, tart magica, suzune magica, kazumi magica... all those characters are there. then they added a bunch of side characters, which, i dunno? there are some side characters i really like and others i just kind of don’t really care about. but they really grow on you! .... most of them. 

5. yeah, blegh. the game certainly has its flaws(the whole series does, but that’s another ask for another day). the anime is much, much less fanservicey though! i have my gripes about the designs and i certainly have my gripes about the way the characters are drawn sometimes (looking at you, swimsuit mami artist), but with me being an experienced gacha player (unfortunately) that was just something i decided to put up with in exchange for a fun story. i can see why people might get the misconception that the anime is just as sexualized, though. i don’t like the main characters’ designs that much, honestly... they all show too much skin, so i agree. weird.

6. season 2 was confirmed! 

7. NA was discontinued right after the first arc of the series. disappointing (oh, i could go on), but we got to see a lot of iroha’s character development in the story.

8. what i was really trying to get across with that post was really just to gripe about in-fandom stuff. there are plenty of other characters that could be seen as more interesting than iroha, especially considering the mikazuki villa girls are all so varied, but that’s kind of how it is with every series, honestly. there’s always going to be one character that seems less interesting compared to other ones. i just kind of realized that iroha gets the short end of the stick compared to the other girls. not only because of her resemblance to madoka, but because of her perceived blandness and the lack of people who care to analyze why she might act that way. her pink motif and gentle, kind demeanor translates as “madoka copy” in people’s heads, and, y’know, it translated like that in mine the first time i saw her, too. but, when you actually think about her arc aside from her resemblance to madoka in several different ways, you get a really interesting and special character; just as special as the others! there was a similar issue with madoka, honestly, with people brushing her off because she wasn’t as “emotionally deep” as the rest of the quintet, even though that’s not true at all. i think it’s unfair that people will brush off a character just because they’re nice; that they’ll reduce characters like iroha and madoka to their cuteness and kindness only and not analyze the rest of the details that they have intentionally(or sometimes unintentionally, y’know how anime writing can be) been written with! 

...but then again, i’m biased in my own way, admittedly. i relate to iroha (i really just made that post because i was thinking about how i’ve never seen someone touch on how her memory gaps affect her), and i just wasn’t seeing any coverage on it, so i thought, someone has to do this! i also just... don’t see people who coin themselves as “iroha fans” very often? she’s one of the characters who is there, but usually not deemed interesting enough for someone to be a superfan of. i’m probably hypocritical, considering homura akemi is my favorite character and she’s pretty popular in the fandom, but what i said is more of an observation than an accusation anyway. i had similar feelings with madoka, but i haven’t gone on a proper ramble about that yet. 

...these characters also aren’t real people, so i’d say i probably shouldn’t go on such long rambles about them, but i really do feel like they reflect a lot of real life experiences sometimes. like, me connecting to iroha’s struggles is something that connects her character to an actual experience. however, like i said in my original post, i am very much an overanalyzer, and i tend to take concepts and just run with them, especially when something stands out to me. this is also just a magical girl show, so i’m really not taking anything that personally. 

also, to clear anything up, the original post wasn’t meant to come across as me being angry, per se, at people who think iroha is boring, it just kind of ticks me off that she’s brushed off so quickly in the larger fandom because of her demeanor. this doesn’t really apply to people who aren’t into the series at all yet, because i’d literally also think “okay so we have madoka, and madoka with a hood” if i were in your shoes! also, people are allowed to dislike characters for no reason. i’m just silly and go on long defensive rants over the sad magical girls, and would probably be sad if people didn’t like iroha because of the reasons i mentioned. 

all in all, i do reccomend magia record very much if you can get past the sexualization of the gacha cards and the, um... poorly designed outfits. because the NA server has been shut down, there are channels on youtube that graciously upload videos of the in-game stories as well as side stories! in the game, there are sometimes entire side stories for characters’ outfits. because it’s a gacha game, there are events and such, and the event stories i’ve seen and/or read (most of the ones i’ve read have to do with homura though) are a lot of fun. i reccommend checking out muffinrecord’s channel if you’d like to read any of the stories (hopefully you’re the type of person who can sit and watch live2d models move around with boxes of text on the bottom for 25 minutes like me). they have everything sorted into playlists in that section of their youtube. of course, i also reccomend watching the anime, if you’re interested! the animation is polished and nice, even if the story is a little hard to follow at times. but if not, that’s okay too. 

thank you for the ask, and i hope i could clear some things up for you!

[gratitudeforshishou]

who wants some mob psycho tunes im back on my bulllshit

i made a list of pieces of music id use as character themes for mp100 characters and mentioned tweaking it so

here u go bud

Shigeo Kageyama – Einstein on the beach by Philip glass

i found this piece fitting to mob’s character, it’s a minimalist ‘opera’ (operatic nature is up to debate) with an ongoing theme of counting repeatedly upwards. there are occasional interjections of short spoken sentences in very monotone voices. i think this piece at face value fits mob as a character theme very well, appearing vast, almost empty and unknown in nature, but in further inspection it’s constantly moving, full and unpredictable (each performance of the piece ranges in time, hours longer or shorter than expected). i think the nature of this piece still does nothing to really reflect some of the best things about mob’s character - his deep rooted kindness, motivation and determination, his deep love for the people around him and unwavering respect - but i think as a basic character theme, it fits quite well. n to reiterate I think the counting thing is neat as hell lol

Reigen Arataka – Turkish Bath by the Don Ellis Orchestra

i adore this piece and i think it reflects reigen’s character amazingly! it gives off the overall tone of being plenty sleazy and absolutely ridiculous, with a fairly relaxed tempo and a clashing harmony – for example, when the melody comes in for the first time, both trumpets are very obviously out of tune with each other. what i love about this though, despite this piece giving off this shady and almost humorous vibe, it’s meticulously written and performed. the descending quarter tone scale on the trumpet is tough as hell to nail, for example. this whole piece emits such vivid reigen vibes for every reason, its so funky fresh

Ritsu Kageyama – Electric Counterpoint by Steve Reich

ill just link the third movement but if anyone wants to listen to the whole thing be my guest ! i think wit ritsu being a kageyama sibling, we gotta stick with the minimalist theme. this piece is performed by a total of ten electric guitars (two of which are basses), and is made up of a series of short guitar licks that grow and develop until the end of the movement. i don’t have a huge amount to say besides that the method of layering and adding guitar parts is organised, but additionally clever and complex,,,,,,,,,,,,just like ritsu,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also haha electric guitars theyre pretty emo right

Serizawa Katsuya – Warrior by Hiromi: The Trio Project

when i made this list for the first time, the one i gave seri was a lot shorter and more subdued in nature. ive decided that nah, he deserves something much more bright and beautiful so !! heres this !! this un really makes me think of post-claw seri – the whole thing is absolutely flourishing, so emotive and it has such a large and captivating sound. it comes with moments of high and almost manic energy, some more subdued and relaxed parts, but is overall has such a solid and comforting presence. Is this my comfort piece ? perhaps

??? – Sacrificial Dance from Rite of Spring by Igor Stravinsky

hooooo shit buddy lemme tell u about this un. so rite of spring is a ballet about a pagan ritual that happens once per year in which a virgin woman is selected and given a red dress, who then has to dance herself to death as a sacrifice for a fruitful spring. Its stupid batshit but the reason i bring that up is because the specific part of the ballet id put to ???% is the sacrificial dance itself. basically this is the part of the ballet where the girl is given the dress and she loses control, going ham while the music gets choppy and violent. still it is more the music than the story that id put to the character – its terrifying because it’s so unkown and so unpredictable. rite of spring is notorious for being fiendishly difficult to play, and that’s because the timing and rhythms are so whack and random. the chords are clashing and sudden, as the piece nears an end it escalates and its impossible to know what is going where. but this being said, there are areas of ominous calm – still unpredictable in rhythm, but subdued. in one way it’s a polar opposite to Einstein on the Beach (the piece i put to mob) but in some ways i feel like that woulda been a good piece to use for ???% too

Shou Suzuki – Garage Drummer by James Campbell

tbh I don’t really know anything about this piece so i cant say much but i think itd make an interesting theme for shou ! aside from being weirdly sorta funky and unpredictable and not to mention with moments of going ham, the fact that its carefully written and practiced fits with the character as well – coming off as impulsive and brash maybe but in fact very thought out. also drums are the fucking cool

Kurata Tome – Fish and Chips by Grace Kelly ft. Leo P

guys…..its funky fresh….. high energy, use of improvisation and also Using The Instrument Not Exactly How It Says On The Tin. its short but sweet, bit ridiculous and completely unashamed which is some Good Shit !! I was also thinking of John Adams’s short ride in a fast machine – its also super high energy, fast paced and it gave me p vivid space vibes if u fancy checking that un out aswell

Teruki Hanazawa – Jazz Suite II by Dimitri Shostakovich

when i made the first list and put this un to teru, an amazing artist replied with this fantastic drawing of teru with the caption ‘lets dance!’ n that is p much exactly why i put this piece to teru. this piece is almost drawlingly sarcastic in nature, though i feel it fits teru as a sort of huge and boisterous dance !! u know how after teru loses his first fight w mob he goes through that whole “superiority complex about not having a superiority complex” thing ? i feel like this piece encapsulates that mood so well, but not just that !! in his moments of utter selflessness as well as those of bigheadedness, teru has such a large and loveable personality and I feel like this tune fits it so well !! teru if ur reading this…….i love u bro

Tsubomi Takane – Leila’s Birthday by Hanneke Cassel 

i heard this one for the first time when a scottish friend of mine was playing some trad tunes in the kitchen ! weve never known much about tsubomi, besides her old connection to mob and what we’ve seen of her personality in the later chapters. ofc i love that tsubomi shits on the “main character gets the girl at the end of the day” trope, and that she remains a loved and solid character of her own afterwards. shes a self respecting, take no shit and genuinely kindhearted girl and i felt this tune captures the sort of freedom i associate with tsubomi’s character well. plus in my personal experience, i don’t know much about scottish trad at all but i love to hear it and like to learn about if where i can – just like how we all feel about tsubomi int it

Dimple – Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? By Frank Zapper

i thought of this as a joke when i was really drunk the other day but it was like 2 am and i couldn’t sleep after that bc like…….spirits eat other spirits right……do they have to like……piss…….

[whumpernickel]

so, i finally actually wrote something. i already posted this on ao3, but i was too nervous to share it here until id also finished this other fic i was writing, cuz i like that one a lot better than this one. and since i finished that second one, i figured id share both!

so heres the first work ive shared probably since i was thirteen: some needlessly angsty and sappy post episode-6 witcher fanfic because i have no shame (thats a lie) and zero self-control

Jaskier and Geralt had gone for much longer than this without seeing each other, but this had somehow felt like their longest time spent apart ever. He'd been anxious to see Jaskier – eager, almost. But... their greeting had been awkward, tense, brief- nothing Jaskier ever said was brief -and Geralt felt no small amount of fear at what any of this meant. It made the hairs at the back of his neck rise like a stalked animal's.

It was wrong.

There was so much unspoken, unaddressed, and hanging in the air over them, Geralt could feel it nearly tangible. For once, Geralt broke the silence first.

"What I said... before," he began, noting the way Jaskier tensed. "I know it was wrong."

Jaskier cleared his throat uncomfortably. "No. No, it uh..." he swallowed, "it wasn't."

"It was-"

"No," he insisted more firmly. "Trust me, I've had a lot of time and space to reflect on this, and you weren't wrong – I was stupidly selfish. With the djinn, with the betrothal celebration, with Yen, with... just everything, every one of those times. I was acting only for myself, and no one else, and bad things happened to good people for it. You wouldn't be in such a horrific fucking mess right now if not for- if I had just thought first, for one fucking second in my life. I never think, and..." He took a measured, steadying breath. "Well, I can't imagine I could ever deserve your forgiveness, but, at the very least, you deserve my apology." He met Geralt's eyes now. "And I am sorry. I truly am, Geralt."

Geralt expected to feel some kind of relief at the eye-contact, at the sound of his name spoken once again in his friend's voice, a blessed familiarity after months without it. And it was still there, that vague feeling of home in each other when neither of them really had much of a home otherwise, but it was tainted. The burdened remorse in Jaskier's words turned any sweetness Geralt might have found in them sour. He frowned.

"You... Jaskier, you don't deserve my forgiveness."

Jaskier winced and turned his attention purposefully to the floorboards.</p>

"I know-"

"No, I don't think you do know." Geralt grabbed Jaskier by the shoulders and ducked his head to intercept the man's averted gaze. "You've done nothing that warrants apology."

Jaskier gave an uncomfortable laugh and fidgeted under the attention. "...Okay, I think we both know that's not true – There are reasons- and some admittedly valid ones -that I'm banned from certain taverns, villages, kingdoms- I mean, no amount of lute-playing-"

"You know what I mean."

"Well, yes, but I don't understand it."

Jaskier met his eyes evenly, now, as if daring Geralt to try to rationalize it to him and certain he was placing a bet he couldn't lose.

Geralt felt his chest ache – guilt, confusion; worst of all, pity. He hated seeing pity thrown his way, and so he hated pitying others, especially anyone that meant something. But he couldn't help the twinge of pain at the realization that some part of Jaskier had believed Geralt up on that mountain all those months ago. Geralt knew better than anyone that the only way you could so comfortably and unquestioningly accept the poison fed to you by others was if you were already drinking the same poison from your own hand and calling it "water." He couldn't bear to imagine his so-spirited, so-confident friend doing this, but the evidence was there.

"I shouldn't have said the things I said," Geralt asserted. "They're not true."

Jaskier's eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, and he started to shake his head.

"Jaskier, I'm sor-"

"Please don't."

It was fragile and small, and Geralt almost questioned if it had actually been spoken aloud at all.

"Jas-"

"No, you- you can't take it back now," Jaskier said more audibly, shoving at Geralt's arms in a weak attempt to force some distance between them, "I was just starting to get over y- to... to get over what happened. And, if you take it back, now, then- then... Just don't take it back."

"I can't do this without..."

"Yes, actually, you can." Jaskier's face lit up hopefully, desperately. "You have."

"I don't want to."

"Then find someone."

Someone.

Geralt hadn't just meant he couldn't do this alone. Though he couldn't, of course – but that didn't matter, because he wasn't alone, anymore. Yet, even as not-alone as he was, he still didn't feel whole.

A huff of frustration forced its way out of his nose. How was he supposed to say any of that?

"Who?" Geralt intended it to be rhetorical, but Jaskier took the question at face-value and barreled on.

"Yennefer!- What about Yennefer?" he offered eagerly, "Of Vengerberg?" as if there were any question as to which Yennefer he meant, "Surely you two have made up by now, I mean even I'll admit you're somewhat of a power couple – but, y'know, extra emphasis on 'power.' Or- Or if not, then Téa? You seemed to like her and her man-killing prowess, yes?- I mean, I sure did, her and Véa, whoo, they are... terrifying. I'm sure they must take some time off from Borch-guarding, no? No, you're right, probably not. Then how about the child surprise- they are your destiny, after all, you're welcome for that – Or, if you're looking for a bard, specifically, there are plenty of others – not as good as me of course, but decent enough- I know a guy who-"

"Jaskier."

"What? No good? I mean, I suppose you could always put out an ad-"

"Jask."

Jaskier's nervous rambling died off in a shaky breath that sounded like it was meant to be a laugh, and he turned his full attention back to Geralt cautiously. His forced smile wavered at the soft sobriety in Geralt's expression.

Geralt dropped his hands from Jaskier's arms and took half a step back, ignoring his fear at giving the man enough space to walk away again.

"If you really mean it," Geralt stressed, "then I will leave you alone." A selfish something inside of him twisted at hearing the words out loud, but he let them hang in the air anyway, committed to respecting whatever answer Jaskier gave next.

"...Alright."

"Do you mean it?"

The silence that followed was more stifling than any yet that Geralt had had to endure in the bard's absence. Heavy and air-stealing.

Despite the uncertain pause, there was a sudden sureness on Jaskier's face that scared Geralt, and he instinctively braced himself as Jaskier opened his mouth to answer.

"No."

Geralt exhaled in silent relief. He hadn't noticed the breath caught in his chest until the moment he released it. He composed himself quickly; a show of weakness could probably help his case dramatically in winning back Jaskier's companionship, but it was tough enough showing as much vulnerability as he already had. Unlearning such a habit as ingrained into him as this one was like tearing a security blanket away from a homesick toddler, and the homesick toddler in Geralt was already veering dangerously into tantrum territory.

Despite the vulnerability of all this, he felt a noticeable lightness in his chest. Jaskier didn't hate him enough to never want to see him again – that was something. He'd take what he could get and he'd take it gladly.

He was trying to figure out what to say next – Geralt felt cursed, sometimes, with only being lightning-quick with his response if it was a wounding insult or a wordless grunt – but Jaskier figured it out before he did.

"Did you mean it?" he turned Geralt's question back on him.

Geralt blinked. "Did...?"

Jaskier looked at him pointedly.

"Oh."

Geralt felt shame and regret draw his shoulders up toward his ears, and he looked away.

"I... I thought I did," he admitted.

"I thought you did, too."

"I'm... sorry, Jaskier, I... You..." The words still wouldn't come to him.

Geralt didn't do words, but even he could see that there weren't many he could use to fix something that clearly went deeper than just some hurtful accusations thrown carelessly about on a godsforsaken mountaintop somewhere.

He shut his mouth, frowned.

Caring was so much more complicated than he always feared it would be. It wasn't just kill the monster, claim the reward, and go on pretending it didn't matter to him what happened after he left, anymore. The stakes were higher, more personal. This kind of care wasn't the kind that was a whole town of faces where none grabbed his attention long enough to be committed to memory, it was individual faces that he knew and recognized, faces that meant something – and this face was Jaskier's, one of the faces that meant the most. He wanted to reach out and erase the worried furrow between his brows, the tired shadows under his eyes, the modest handful of scars he'd amassed over the years traveling with Geralt.

But he'd leave the crow's feet – those held mostly happy memories.

Jaskier was one of those few people he so desperately wanted in his life, but wished didn't have to experience the hurt of it all.

"Jaskier, you..."

The concept Geralt was still trying ever valiantly to skirt around was family. And his was so very small and fragile, he couldn't bear to lose one piece of it, not for anything...

"You should really meet Ciri," he decided.

Jaskier brightened at this, a small smile crinkling his eyes. "You found her," he said.

Geralt nodded, a smile of his own taking shape.

"Alright. Lead the way."

[modesty-blaise]

Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

[classicturtle]

meowdy...... just wanted to drop by and say while i Adore ur art and ur oc designs, it makes me big sad that u never post their personalities or their contexts/backstories with each other... so perhaps on this fine evening i could request u talk abt a couple of ur faves in detail cause 👀👀👀 ive been big nosey for a while and i Gotta know

HEY VARIETY LEMME START WITH, I AM FLATTERED FOR THIS ASK BECAUSE IT’S THE BEST AND I LOVE IT.  It took me so long to get to it because I wanted to make some drawings, but then i made cruddy gifs instead, SO.  HERE WE GO.

SO, I DECIDED FINALLY TO MAKE THIS ASK ABOUT A GOOD BOY AND A BAD BOY that have a lot of interaction....

UUHH.  SO TO START, HERE’S

MISTER EVETS GNIVRI

When someone wants to talk to the king of Twisted Terror, the land of monsters, they have to talk to Evets first.  Which, is super underwhelming, because the servant of the king is always sweating.Evets is a super nervous and shy monster from Twisted Terror, the one and only trusted servant of the king.  He’s a super genius and actually invents some amazing inventions, which he has plenty of time for now that he’s run away from home.Evets lives in the human world with Nero (sweet Australian man) and spends all his time cooped up in the basement trying to build amazing things, especially things to help his estranged children.  He has a young son and daughter!Evets’s skin changes colors with his moods, as does his blood, and he’ll rub the top of his ears when he’s nervous.  He has wings he never uses (because flying is SUPER SCARY), and he tries his hardest to blend in with humans and act relatively “normal”, but that’s hard too.  Most food is disgusting and he SWEARS he’s seen people grass before, gross!Evets has a best friend, his name is Ykcir.  Ykcir still lives in Twisted Terror, but they visit each other often.  Like with most best friends, Evets becomes a complete immature goofball around Ykcir.  They’ve been friends since childhood.

Evets also has a girlfriend!  Her name is Chrys, and she lives next door to Nero.  She’s opened his eyes to the beauty of the human world (flowers are lovely), and when she’s around, Evets feels like he can finally relax.  He’s still wondering how he ended up being so lucky to be with a beauty like Chrys.

Evets has been abused in the past, in all forms of the word, and most of his mental health issues stem from his experiences with a single person.  It’s the same person who prompted Evets to run away- and the same person he inadvertently helped grow into the monster he is today! The person is...

The King of Twisted Terror!MISTER RAYMOND FLYNN

Ray Flynn is the hated king of the monsters, earning him the title of the land’s worst ruler in history.  He doesn’t let that get to him- Ray is still as loud, rude, and terrible as he would be if he was loved.He’s blatantly sexist, he’s insulting, and he BITES.  He’ll kick and scream and shout to get what he wants, and since he’s the king, he’ll get exactly that!  He MUST dominate and overpower all his enemies, and friends, and his short fuse will burn up if he can’t.He likes football and small animals, surprisingly.  He claims he’s the Epitome of Manliness, and uses his outdated gender roles and stereotypes to push himself up higher, or at least he’ll TRY.Ray used to love Evets, but that love has twisted into an obsession towards him and fuels his abuse towards Evets- he’s super Pissed that Evets ran away, and he swears he’ll exact his revenge when Evets is returned to him.In the meantime, Ray hires Milos to keep him company!  Milos and Ray’s relationship is Extremely HeteroSexual and Very Platonic, and there is Definitely Nothing Happening between them that involves Ray paying Milos extra money to be An Extra Cool Bro.

Evets and Ray both have toyhouse pages that say some more stuff (more or less the same summaries KJSFS) but yeah!!!  I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT OCS FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT THEM ANYTIME IM GRINNING!! TYSM FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT SOME OF THEM

[mpathicoracle]

ok so i havent actually drawn out this place yet, been meaning to, might do it in the meantime while my shitposts about this non-canon boiling isles town of mine get traction. (set it under a Keep Reading for TOH season 3 spoilers). gonna underline places and stuff so its easier to follow along (so i can sketch it out properly later). if anyone wants to attempt at drawing this place tho have at it id love to see dsghgfj i did my best at describing it

but anyways ive dubbed it Harper's Haven, it's known for it's predominant population of Bards, and has what's considered the Bard Coven Center. the Bard Coven Center was once known as the Bard College, and was once a place where both Bard-magic practitioners and Illusionists would attend to further their knowledge, essentially a higher education place for music and arts (INCLUDING THEATER *coughs at illusionists being good at that shit, i.e. Graye*). but when belos took over, he insisted it would be solely for Bards and made it the central location for Bard Coven witches

nowwww another fun thing is that, not only is Harper's Haven a sole location/gathering place for Bards of all genres, it also has a pretty strong population of Construction witches. cuz. yknow. gotta have event staff to make concert spaces as needed

Harper's Haven is located by the left shoulder of the Titan (a good distance away from the arm that belos made rise into the sky. talk about destruction in the nearby area lmfao), but a good enough distance away from the Titan Skull. So during the Day of Unity, they could somewhat see what was going on. and damn was that terrifying. There's a good amount of woods about 2 miles outside of the western side of town, including a good sized clearing...which used to be smaller...like. a lot smaller, but it got bigger thanks to a certain someone (aka my oc, who will be explained in a lotta lengthy detail in a separate post lmfao). Across from the Bard Coven Center building is a 12-story hotel, properly named the Harper's Haven Hotel, but more commonly called Triple H. A Construction Witch by the name of Caric Thorne created the hotel, having been a huge fan of of Bards and their magic (his son, Eran, also being a part of the Bard track at St. Epiderm's...yea he travels a good distance but its worth it, fairly certain Epiderm's has the best Bard track compared to Hexside and Glandus). Caric Thorne and Crane were. Close. sorta. havent rly decided but hey, he's favorable with the Bard Coven as a Construction witch so good enough lmfao. It's not a super giant town, compared to Latissa and Bonesborough, but it's still a decent size, with plentiful of concert halls and locations.

Bard Coven Center and Triple H are right about in the center of town, directly across the street from one another. For some reason Triple H is the only sorta inn/hotel/etc in the entire place. that just means Triple H gets hella good business...and is constantly busy. but eh, worth it. probably why a lot of the Bards like Caric Thorne so much lmfao. He's also super friendly, acts like a dad/grandpa to pretty much everyone. We stan One(1) somewhat elderly Construction witch.

Post-WAD, the Bard Coven Center returned to its origins, but deciding on its new name: Harper's Haven University of Music and the Arts. The aforementioned clearing 2 miles outside town greatly enhanced in size and became a later well-known outdoor concert space, and once a year, starting about 3 months after belos's defeat, it's host to the Bard Collective Charity Concert, an annual gathering of Bard musicians; the concert lasts all day from morning to the middle of the night (and sometimes into the early morning of the next day depending on length of songs...and excitement lmao).

anyway if anyone wants to know more bout Harper's Haven lemme know. look out for the rant about my Bard oc bc theyre a fckin legend and i love them dearly, theyre the reason for the clearing existing (was their practice area at first for Reasons) and donated it for the annual charity concert.

[otterplusharchive]

sorry again for taking so long to answer this, mp100 and ghibli films are genuinely the most important and influental pieces of media in my life so ive wanted to take a long time to think about this. im going to be answering based on how the films feel compared to characters general vibes/characteristics along with which films i think characters would enjoy because i adore the idea of the gang having movie nights and watching ghibli movies. this ended up being pretty long so im putting it under a read more!!

Im starting out with Ritsu because ive got a kikis delivery service with him as kiki. ive made another post a while back about how i can see similarities between the two characters, both ritsu and kiki struggle with finding and expressing themselves truthfully and being able to feel free along with gaining control of their psychic/witch powers. Kiki has a hard time making friends and she seems to also struggle with her view of herself and what/who she wants to be, which really reminds me of Ritsu being compared to his brother and being pinned down into the role of a perfect straight A student. Both kiki and ritsus stories are about believing in and discovering themselves. Aside from what film reminds me of Ritsu, i like the idea of him being a sap at heart and so i think hed enjoy a film like howls moving castle where theres a sappy romance but also adventure and a solid plot.

For Mob im reminded of princess monoke… ashitakas curse that he tries to contain throughout the course of the movie reminds me a lot of ???% and Mobs overall repression of both his emotions and powers. Monoke also reminds me of Mob because in the end its a film that has a hopeful feeling to it.. even after the forest spirit is beheaded the earth blooms and the previously barren mountain that was misused by the humans for war and pain experiences a rebirth. Mob is a character who has gone through so much pain and yet he still believes in the good of people and is a hopeful person in general. Ashitaka says at one point in the movie something along the lines of “how much more killing and hatred will happen before youre satisified” which is a sentiment that really reminds me of mob, who ultimately does not want to hurt others or resort to violence although sometimes the situation forces his hand. Aside from that!! Mob likes action movies, and because of that i think hed enjoy both monoke AND castle in the sky, which is a very swash buckling fun action movie that still has the message of love and peace that i think mob would resonate with.   For Shou im pretty torn. hes a character that has a lot going on with him, he feels that he has to be strong and brave and to both take down his father and fix claws mistakes even though hes still just a kid and shouldnt have to deal with that responsibility. he hasnt gotten much of a chance to really be a kid from what weve seen. hes bold and arguably impulsive/adventurous, and i still think that ONE should have developed him as a character more and given him more of a character arc outside of the claw/world domination arc. Because of all this im really having a hard time deciding between castle in the sky and tales from earthsea. to me castle in the sky seems like the kind of story that shou might draw up into a comic and the dola gangs overall dynamics and shenanagins remind me of shou a lot. however tales from earthsea deals with a young prince who is fleeing from both his homeland and also himself. hes just stabbed his father, the king, and is on the run, constantly vigilant and also a skilled fighter.  hes tricked plenty of times in this film and yet there are also people who are trying to help him and live alongside him. part of both tales from earthsea and castle in the sky is about realizing that all life including your own has value and that the world is driven by and founded on love. tales from earthsea is a much darker film but the storyline with the protagonists father and struggle to simply be himself instead of fighting reminds me of shou. So yeah those both remind me of him, and as far as films hed watch i think hed enjoy the cat returns!! 

Im the first one to acknowledge that i am by no means an expert on terus character, and just like all of these i want to encourage anyone to add their own thoughts on what ghibli films they think match up to each character! but anyway. When i started writing this the first film that popped into my mind for Teru was howls moving castle. I could very easily point to both howl and teru having huge reactions to their hair being ruined and go on my merry way but i want to go a lot deeper than that. Howls moving castle is about a lot of things, and one of those things is loving yourself for who you are. both howl and sophie have problems with their self image and with who they are in general and they express it in different ways. howl is very extravagant and uses magic to make himself look as handsome and flashy as possible whereas sophie seems plain and simple, like shes hiding herself and not secure with who she is. this can be compared to Terus very loud and showy way of presenting himself and how before meeting mob he used his powers in a way to make both the people around him and the world bend to his will. hes got a lot of issues with himself that stem from a lot of things, which probably include his parents never being around during his teen years and being the only esper he knows thus creating this idea that hes somehow above others. both teru and howl are arguably selfish people who during the course of meeting certain people (sophie and mob) try to better themselves and become less selfish. howl throws himself into the battles outside the hat house to try and protect sophie while teru tries to stop ???%s rampage by talking with mob as a friend. Howls moving castle also has a general feeling of grand whimsy and magic that reminds me of teru, and as far as what movie i think hed like watching- i think hed enjoy arriety!! Porco Rosso reminds me so much of reigen, i really think theres been times that ive watched the movie and thought of reigen while watching it. the obvious comparison is that porco is selfish and self centered, which in the end is what has cursed him into becoming a pig. hes a bounty hunter by trade which can easily be tied to reigens con man business  ventures. theyre both very flawed men who put themselves first but the more we go into their story lines the more these selfish ways of thinking are challenged and changed, and despite their flaws both end up helping other people. it can be argued that reigen and porco are not exactly good people, but theyre not for sure bad people either. They both have a lot of issues they need to work on and in their worst critics are themselves, no matter how selfish they might be both characters very obviously are lonely and dont think very highly of themselves. also for a film i think hed like watching.. i like thinking about reigen and serizawa having a movie date night watching nausicaa ive been writing this all day and its already incredibly long so i think im going to end it here although i might come back another day and continue with characters including serizawa and all the girls because ive got thoughts on them too but wanted to answer on the same day as i got the ask. again if you have your own thoughts and ghibli movie comparisons please feel free to add on id love to hear what you think!! thank you so much for asking this

[axemetaphor]

i dunno if its ever explained in-text but i assumed since dave mentioned john got booted from the computer class for drawing an ascii vagina that dave thought john was funny and decided to allow john to keep annoying him /hj

my headcanon is theyre just a case of people who kind of instantly clicked. if you think about it they have some pretty similar traumas in a way and john seems to have an easier time letting dave know shit abt him (though later on it seems he has more of an easy time letting amy know shit abt him, to some degree; there's likely a lot of things amy wont know but dave was around for). ive always figured they just sort of click on that trauma level which is something thats pretty hard to find and tends to make people stick together. i personally also think it took a while for dave to truly trust him, tbqh, but that john wasnt overly pushy or anything, just tended to sit next to him in classes they shared, and talk to him--and while dave of course would not trust that at first, im sure plenty of bullying he experienced was people pretending to be his friend just to kick him whenever hes down why no im not projecting, john is such a genuinely nice person that certainly past some point dave would realize john actually does think hes neat. theyve got more in common than at first brush imo but that may be conjecture/projection on my part

i think it also may be worth noting that while dave was likely always pretty closed off due to his particular flavor of neurodivergence it also seems pretty implied that the bullying he experienced escalated over time throughout high school, resulting in the billy incident, and it's possible dave was less closed-off to other people when he and john first met at 14; it might be that his refusal to connect with other people is linked to that trauma. after all somehow he was also friends with todd (though todd doesn't exist anymore), but it's clear in book1 he hasnt made any friends past high school (this may have changed by book4 i think)

iunno where the "found his depressed demeanor 'funny'" bit couldve possibly come from but im not knowledgeable about stuff pargin may have said in interviews or blog posts or anything so maybe thats where that one comes from ? someone else may know.

how did dave and john become friends in the first place?? we know dave actively goes out of his way to avoid talking to people (ex: in book 1 he takes all his lunch breaks in his car to avoid the possibility of having to talk to any of his coworkers, also him having one friend his entire life). they met in a computer class in their first year of high school but that doesn't explain anything lol

the jdate wiki says that john approached dave because he "found his depressed demeanor 'funny'" but i dont have a source for that and i still find it hard to believe that dave would have even been receptive to john's approaches. anyone who knows what book that quote is from or has their own thoughts/headcanons about how they became friends, plz let me know