#i have other stuff to do

[jesseevelann]

Sasuke wasn't the most romantic person in the word. Luckily for him, neither was Sakura. They didn't do many lovey dovey things often, they always struggled to think of something that the other would like and still fit as romantic, mostly Sasuke for Sakura.

Sakura wasn't a jewellery person. She wasn't big on eating sweets or chocolates, and despite what she was named after, she didn't care for flowers either. She wasn't easy to get gifts for, which gave her an advantage when it came to holiday gift shopping for each other.

Today, however, Sasuke was determined to best her. It wasn't really a competition, but he wanted to surprise her. She had a knack for guessing gifts from others, especially from him. "You're too obvious, love." She'd say. He pouted just thinking about it. He couldn't hide anything from Sakura.

He started simple, waking up before her and cooking her breakfast. He wasn't as skilled as her, he didn't understand the different uses and flavours of the herbs and spices, but it was edible in the end.

They ate together when she woke, Sasuke even opted for feeding her. Something she did with him to make him flustered, even with the roles reversed she still managed to do it by licking crumbs off the corner of his mouth. The sudden gesture caused him to drop the spoon he was using and making a mess of himself.

As an apology, Sakura cleaned up. Letting Sasuke work on the second part of his plan. He snuck to the bedroom, laying out fresh clothes for her to wear for the day, leaving a note to invite her into the shower with him. He waited until she walked past the bathroom before turning on the water.

When Sakura entered the room, Sasuke was stark naked, looking up at her with a slight impatient look. He stepped into the shower and waited, adjusting the temperature to cold. It hit his skin almost unpleasantly, pulling a slight shiver from him before Sakura's warm body pressed against his back.

Sakura wrapped her arms around his hips, pulling him close so his rear was pressed to her crotch. Sasuke blushed hard, a rush of heat spreading through his body as her fingers teased at his sensitive skin.

His breath became shaky and hard, but he didn't object to the advance. He turned his head and connected their lips, gasping into her mouth when her hands became more curious. The cold water barely felt cold anymore.

Sakura carried him to their bed after their shower, kissing him hot and slow before she had to leave for a quick meeting. Leaving Sasuke breathless, but in the perfect place for his third and final plan.

When he heard the front door lock, he sat up and made his way to his closet, pulling a special parcel from the bottom. He pulled the contents out and set everything up, even handling dinner so everything would go quicker.

Sasuke watched the sky darken while waiting for Sakura's return. Keeping the food hot and before plating it when he heard her footsteps approach the door.

She pulled him into a hug when she came in, making minimal complaints about how boring it was before settling into a chair and enjoying the meal. Sasuke watched her lust fully the whole time.

When they finished, Sakura pulled Sasuke onto her lap and nuzzled her nose into his neck, taking in his scent and relaxing into his hold. Sasuke played with her hair, wrapping his arm around her neck tighter when she lifted him up. Sighing softly when she kissed at his neck.

Sasuke pulled her qipao open, pushing it off her shoulders, and trailing his fingers over the scars on her neck and chest. Sakura carried him into their room, kicking the door closed and pinning him to the bed. Her qipao dropped to the floor and Sasuke stared up at her, biting his lower lip.

Sakura kissed him firmly, pulling his shirt off and finding lacey lingerie hiding underneath. Sasuke shivered at her smirk, pulling her closer and wrapping his legs around her waist.

She kissed his chest, mumbling something along the lines of 'I never expected this from you'. Sasuke was filled with pride hearing it. He had succeeded in his little mission, and it felt amazing to him.

// end

[johanna-swann]

I thought this would be over once the season ended, but I still have 911 thoughts left. More specifically Buck & Tommy thoughts. Something along the lines of being 100% on board with the ship and still ending up a little underwhelmed. Something along the lines of being thrilled about Buck, masculine macho man in his 30s, coming out and still ending up disappointed how they just quietly dropped that storyline. I feel another essay coming.

[goldensunset]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[reginalusus]

Not these two again (I will do it again).

Ummmm, soon-to-be father-son angst or something.

Jason's line after this was originally: "I don't need a lecture from the guy who swapped his scales and sword for cigarettes and guns," but I have other stuff I wanna move on to and the frames kinda got fucked, sooo.

Ko-Fi.

[corviiids]

my top bit of advice going into the new year: compliment people. especially strangers. literally everyone you interact with if you can. when you buy coffee in the morning compliment the barista's tattoos. when you're chatting with a coworker tell them that by the way you like their outfit. always find something they've chosen to do on purpose. nail polish, jewellery, tattoos, hair colour/style, statement accessory, outfit, etc are all good bets. things people hope will be noticed. things that aren't too personal so it doesn't make them uncomfortable (eg probably not their physical features). i've gotten into the habit of scanning everyone i talk to for something about them that i think is cool so i can tell them. it's a great habit because it makes me notice people and realise just how many neat little details there are in people's presentation of themselves that might pass me by if i wasn't paying attention. and it brings out so much joy. you'd be surprised how much it disarms people to receive an unexpected compliment from someone they don't know. it is the most sincere smile you will see all day long. it feels nice to make people happy but it also means you win the social interaction. establish dominance by complimenting a stranger's earrings and disappearing into the fog

[kuzoowl]

Favorite scene 🖤🔥 Actor AU save me...

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[razzafrazzle]

I think that I've only drawn Ford like. 3 times in my entire life. so here's some Fordsy (and some Fiddsy. and a Bill I guess)

[image description: a page of drawings of ford, mcgucket, and bill cipher from gravity falls. near the top are two portraits of ford, one in the gravity falls style and the other in a more realistic style. next to that is a simple doodle of ford and mcgucket smiling and embracing with the caption "old man yaoi!" beneath them. in the bottom left is a simple drawing of a younger ford, and next to that is a drawing of bill with a speech bubble saying "i'm here too! also i'm hatless for spacing reasons". next to that is bill's hat, as well as mcgucket in an orange and brown 70s-style outfit and a braided beard, and he is sitting on the ground, lost in thought. end id]

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[merrigel]

Ludovica and Sausage I mean Luck (gif version:)

[bagel-bird-ainsor]

A couple angry Edgeworths for ya, plus a Gumshoe who’s just happy to be here.

Man he’s so fun to draw. I’m excited to get started on the Investigations remaster! It’ll be my first time playing those games. Looking forwards to seeing Gumshoe and Franziska again, since I’ve gotten through Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice, which I enjoyed thoroughly but there was a severe lack of those two.

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny has to work off his Sentence

So! Danny isn't the King of the Infinite Realms. And he is not above the Law.

Sure, he has many friends in high places, and he did defeat the King in single combat, but that doesn't mean he is above the Law in the way The King would be.

And unfortunately for him, Walkers Laws do actually have some backing.

Not all of them. Some are just laws he placed over his Lair and surrounding Territory, which he is really nitpicky about, but the Big ones he touts are the Laws of the entire Zone set by the First King. Don't Tresspass on Lairs without an official challenge, don't End a Realms Being without permission, Don't bring Humans into the Zone without permission, etc.

And Danny has broken quite a few of them, meaning Walker is entirely in his rights to put him away for a few Thousand Years. Thankfully, there is an alternative.

Since Danny wasn't wanted for any major crimes, Walker offered a different path for him. Danny was still one of the Strongest Ghosts in the Zone, and as the Portal was technically his Grave he had full authority to use it however he liked, so if he ran a couple of errands for Walker, he could consider his Sentence served.

All he has to do was round up a few of the Trouble Makers that had escaped his grasp by virtue of being in the Living Realm, and he would forgive his previous crimes.

So, Danny took him up on the offer. It was better than being constantly hounded by Walkers Guards. The fact that he could beat them easily was moot, it was extremely annoying and he wanted it to stop.

So he was given his First list of targets, and went on his way.

Ra's "The Demons Head" Al Ghul, for Tresspassing on Ghost Zone Waste Dumping Grounds

Solomon Grundy, for continued use of copyrighted poem, requested by copyright holder post mortem

Vandal Savage, for failure to notify the proper authorities about his absence on the day of his intended death

Jack "The Joker" Napier, Special Request by 1000+ Ghosts for purposes of Vengeance, Torture, and general Catharsis.

...interesting list...maybe he should have this through a bit more...

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[amelia-yap]

i cooked(?)

[noodles-and-tea]

For the twins in time AU, I genuinely wonder what kind of people the young twins grow up into because of Stan’s/Ford’s influence. Especially if it takes years for the portal to get fixed.

(Sorry if it seems like I already sent this question, I don’t know if it got sent the first time I asked)

I haven’t fully fleshed out how Ford grows up in the past but I do have thoughts on Stan presently