#i have no regrets about my midnight impulse buy <3

[cicadagaze]

girl who causes problems for funsies:

[slashingdisneypasta]

Things Y/N says in the Horror House

Plot: Just the title XD Or 'Y/N having a rough time all the time*

Warnings: Sexual references and course language

~

"Freddy- Freddy you are a grown man- "

"CHUCKY YOU STOP ENCOURAGING HIM- "

"No no, Patrick, I was not looking at you and wouldn't dream of looking at you no no no Oh would you look at that, Chucky's trynna get Bubba to sniff glue again, so good talk I gotta go- "

"Bubba, I- I just... I desperately want to help you, but- I just- I have... I have no idea what you're saying to me."

"Pennywise how many times have I told you don't transform into residents of the home!! You are going to cause an accident!"

*Gassp* "Oh my god... Michael is going to murder you."

*Gasp* "Who told Carrie the f word!? I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT STU."

"THATS IT!- I HAVE SEEN ENTIRELY TOO MANY PENISES IN THIS HOUSE. WE AS A COMMUNITY ARE GOING TO NEED TO START LOCKING THE TOILET DOOR."

"Jen I need so much therapy... "

"Bubba don't put that in the muffins."

"Oh yes Billy I can ground you- JASON COME ON IN NOW AND BRING THE SHOVEL."

"Jason, you are an angel."

"Jason are you serious right now? Put all the Slashers down- "

"Jerry, stop trying to seduce everyone. You're about to win over Freddy and you're gonna regret it I promise you."

"Billy? Stu? Whoever you are take off that stupid mask and go to bed."

"Between you and me Jen... Patrick terrifies me."

"THATS IT- you two CANNOT play together anymore!!"

*Jamming the end of a broom into the ceiling while Chiffany do marital things~ in the room above* "IT. IS. BED. TIME."

"Penny what are you doing... sneaking into Chucky and Tiffany's room... you know what I don't wanna know. As you were."

"Freddy do you... can you just think about the things that you say?"

"What do you mean Bubba's brothers are coming for a visit!?!?"

"Jason I have your mother on the phone!! She says I love you and please put the doll down." (Spoiler alert. Pamela was not on the phone)

"Put Chucky down." (At least 7 times a damn day)

(Part 1) "Okay... someone's gotta feed Aubrey II. I volunteer Micha- where did he go??"

(Part 2) "AUBREY TWO. AUBREY TWO SPIT HIM UP THIS INSTANT."

(Part 3) "Oh, so you listen to Carrie, huh... stupid plant."

(Part 4) "So for now on Carrie will be in charge of feeding the killer plant."

"... Oh god why on earth is Chucky laughing in the other room... "

"What do you mean 'what am I doing baking at midnight?', its called stress baking, I am literally terrified 24-7 around here and the sweets are the only thing between me and 6th degree online shopping addiction."

"... No... Michael I am not on Amazon... "

"I AM NOT Y'ALLS SEX EXPERT. STOP ASKING ME AWKWARD QUESTIONS- no, no, except you Carrie. You get back here and get an education. Don't listen to Freddy- "

"Chucky stop bullying Bubba."

"Oh, what am I doing? Well, Jason and Michael are glaring at eachother from across the room and I'm moving out."

"Behave or I will get Freddy- OH YES I WILL I AM ON MY FINAL STRAW HERE."

"Billy, Stu, leave Michael alone."

"... *Sigh*... I didn't think I needed to actually say this... but please do not watch porn in the livingroom."

(Part 1) "Tiffany help me to understand what you see in Chucky."

(Part 2) "Tiffany stop helping me I don't want to know these things."

"So this is how I die."

"Patrick that is a spectacular tie- annnnd he's just walked past me without a word... "

"Pamela is coming everyone act like you have impulse control."

"No Jerry I'm not gonna bet on who's gonna win todays fight between Freddy and Jason- alright, 10 on Jason."

"... *Deep breath* ... I'm gonna buy that platter on Amazon I don't need."

[sagessoftwings]

Hello!!! I was wondering if I could get male haikyuu, jjk and demon slayer matchups, please!!!!

My pronouns are she/her, im an enfp and a Gemini!! For the most part, I’m very friendly, outgoing, loud and dramatic. I laugh a lotttt to the point that people think I never get angry because I’m just really happy all the time? Besides that, i love to tease my friends and family, and tend to get very sarcastic with them too. I also have mood swings and cry very easily. I’m super impulsive, quick to make decisions and I don’t regret them.y love languages are physical touch(I love to cuddle and hug!!) and acts of service. I love cats a lotttt, have an indoor one of my own and about 5 outdoor ones!!! I also really love sweets, and I learned to bake because of that so I could make midnight brownies or cookies whenever I wanted! Besides that, i love to play volleyball, do makeup(on myself and other people), watch anime and sleep(I can sleep for up to 15 hours in a day if no one wakes me). A few things I’m afraid of is being alone/abandoned, people hating me and disappointing my parents. As for my inspirations, it has to be my maid because she works super hard, never complains, and does not let anyone pity her in the slightest. I hope that’s enough information!!!!!

HI HI BABYYY for haikyuu I ship you with Osamu Miya!!

He loves the fact that you like to bake so you two have bomb dinners and desserts

Always makes food for you it’s one of his hobbies

Also if he tries something new, you’re the first one to try

He trusts your opinion the most

You’re always welcome at the Miya household and please! Make fun of Atsumu, it puts osamu in a good mood

It’s a house rule though. Like you have to tease atsumu. especially if he messes up

You’re the only person osamu will show his true feelings for so you know you have a special place in his heart

Cuddling is the mans specialty 😩

Big beefy boy

if you beg and plead enough he’ll let you do his make up

But Atsumu also loves for you to do him make up as well and is open any time

Suna also participates so your never alone <3

Such a cat dad, tried to get a chest harness for them but got scratched to shit

Sarcasm is your guy’s love language and he loves it

Very touchy with your legs, he just loves them so please let him lay on them

For jjk I ship you with Satoru Gojo!!

He loves when you bake because he’s addicted

He has a bad sweet tooth

Also is always there when you need a good laugh

The class loves you and your baking

Yuji is always asking if you’ll make more but… just for him.. okay?

Secretly your favorite

Gojo loves to give physical love and gives you quick smoochies all the time

Buys you little souvenirs when he’s away

Even the cats too 😩

He bought them little hats with their names on them because why not?

Has a candy jar next to the bed and will lean over and ask if you want a KitKat or anything

PLEASE GOD PLEASE DO HIS MAKEUP AND HAIR HEHEHQHQHAHAHA HE LIVES FOR IT

and for demon slayer I ship you with Sabito!!

He is so so sweet and caring

Sabito has such a soft spot for you and everything you do

Your baking is like crack to him

You will wake up to hear ruffling of tin foil and loud chewing and breathing to find Sabito just sitting there and eating your brownies

“It’s not what it looks like-”

HAS FUCKING BROWNIE CRUMBS ALL OVER HIS FACE AND IN HIS TEETH AS HE GIVES YOU A CHEEKY GRIN

Actually does have a sense of humor and has a little snort when he laughs

But please don’t tease he’s self conscious

Likes to tease giyu with you it’s so funny to him

Urokodaki will show his baby pictures and awkward pictures of him it’s hilarious

Sleeps a lot as well so he’s all yours

A cuddle bug too

He’ll always scoot over to you in your sleep and lay his head on your chest

<33

[tbr-agency]

my love.

summary ⟶ Arguments doesn’t last long when you really love someone deeply, just like how Haejin couldn’t stay mad at Jaebeom because she really loves him.

timeline ⟶ October 2019

characters : Lee Haejin, Jung Ahrin, Ji Chaeun (The Bloody Roses) , Lim Jaebeom (Got7)

❝ I would be lying if I say I’m not mad. But once you love someone, that feeling instantly washed away, don’t you think? ❞

Jaebeom felt bad, especially for his members.

He could see how pissed they looked though they tried to hide it, it was obvious for some of them especially Jackson. They were pissed at JYPe. 

The boys were given a restriction order.

“Boys, I know the 7 of you have individual relationships with the Bloody Roses but because of the situation, we might have to give you a restriction order,”

“What restriction order? Since when did JYP have this kind of rules?” questioned Bambam, trying his best not to sound rude.

“And our dating bans are over. PDnim said so himself that we could date after 3-4 years,” added Jackson who was already pissed, hearing the word restriction order. Got7 has already been mistreated by JYPe and this was honestly the worst that they could ever hear.

“I’m sorry but this was given by the executives, but I was told that the 7 of you might have to cut off contact with the 7 girls,”

The members’ eyes went wide and that’s when Jackson nearly began to show aggressiveness, hence the meeting was on-hold.

What’s worse is that their preparation for their comeback has started.

Jaebeom’s turn to shoot his parts and it was close to midnight when his turn ended.

“Hyung, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Jaebeom muttered towards his manager. He turned towards the younger one, for the first time seeing his eyes glistening with tears.

“Is it because of Haejin?” 

Jaebeom bit the bottom of his lips, trying his best not to show any tears since they were in public. 

“I feel so bad. I should have listened to her but at that point in time, I was just pissed that I said words that I didn’t mean - I miss her, hyung.” Jaebeom confessed, his voice was lower than normally he would speak.

His manager could see that he is really affected by this. 

He also knew that Jaebeom has been locking himself up in his studio, basically writing 10 songs about Haejin - as told by Jinyoung since he was worried about the leader.

Not only was Jaebeom suffering, Mark, Bambam, and especially Jackson were suffering too since they were in a committed relationship with their own personal bodyguard.

“I don’t think the 7 of you are the only ones who are suffering, the girls too,” His manager spoke as they were in the van. Jaebeom looked towards the driver seat.

“Really? But I don’t think Haejin—

“Jaebeom-ah, whatever you are thinking, it’s all negativity. Once you lay deep into those thoughts, you would regret it. Trust me, Haejin still loves you,” His manager turned towards him with a small smile, seeing Jaebeom looking at his lock screen, a picture of different polaroids he took of Haejin when they were together.

“How long has she been standing there?” 

“Probably 2 hours,”

Ahrin and Chaeun were standing near the huge glass window to see Haejin, leaning against their entrance walls as she was staring on to the road mindlessly.

“She’s been doing this for 2 weeks and I’m honestly worried,” whispered Chaeun as she was staring at Haejin.

“Is she not cold, wearing a lace tank top and tight jeans?” added Chaeun and Ahrin shakes her head.

“She is already cold emotionally, anyway. I think she’s depressed with the situation we are going through right now,” mumbled Ahrin and she could hear Chaeun sighing.

It hurts for Ahrin that she couldn’t reply to Mark’s secret messages. Though he was not allowed to text her, he rebelled enough to communicate with her through twitter and instagram.

But because Ahrin was always obeying the rules, she couldn't reply to his messages. It hurts her, so she just switched off her phone for the whole week.

“Also, about the argument that she had with Jaebeom, gosh,” Chaeun added and Ahrin sighs heavily.

“Well, I didn’t know the situation could get any worse. Now Eunhee ghosted us again,” voiced out Ahrin as she folded her arms. 

Eunhee really went all out this time, without even telling the girls why she didn’t come home after the meeting.

“C’mon let’s go inside,” muttered Ahrin, pulling Chaeun with her knowing Haejin wanted space.

“So it’s true you are transferring to LA!?”

“Babe wait—

“You could have told me earlier—

“Jaebeom! The articles were fake!”

“What do you mean it’s fake? Seeing it’s from your company’s website, it has to be true.”

“Who’s the one who is in MMG now? You or me?”

“You know what, don’t bother texting me after your contract ends with JYP,”

Haejin scoffed as she remembered the argument she had with him. 

Her eyes landed towards something that was dangling on her wrist, a bracelet that Jaebeom bought for her on their first date together.

“Aww, Jaebeommie. Thank you! This is so cute,” Haejin cooed as she stared at the bracelet that has a palm tree, knowing it was representing him. 

“Call me again,” Jaebeom called out and Haejin frowned a little.

“Jaebeom,”

“No, the other one,”

‘Jae-beommie?” said Haejin in a tone asking if she was asking a question. Jaebeom's grin widened as his hands landed on both of Haejin’s cheeks.

“Lee Haejin, why are you so cute?” whispered Jaebeom, his eyes locked with hers. Haejin was about to answer him when her eyes landed on his wrist.

“You have one too!?” 

Jaebeom saw what she was gazing at, as he showed his own wrist, to see a skull and a rose, knowing whom it represents.

“I bought it - on impulse because Jackson suggested since he had asked Bambam to buy one too,” Jaebeom sad shyly and Haejin looked at him softly, kissing his lips.

“I love it. Thank you, babe.”

It’s weird, she didn’t have the heart or strength to even remove it as soon as she left the room, the day she argued with him. 

Haejin loves Jaebeom, but sometimes, he is just too intense. 

But she knows why he was being that way, he was possessive, not too much. She guessed that he panicked because he thought that his girlfriend is leaving him.

“Please don’t take that off,”

Haejin’s hands quickly landed on the back of her pocket. 

She was about to take out her gun when a familiar face showed up, as she quickly stopped her hands from emerging.

Jaebeom was seen in a hoodie, his face still had makeup on and his hair was being styled up knowing he just ended his schedule, standing a finger away from her.

“What are you doing here?” Haejin questioned with a frown as she looked around, finally seeing a familiar van, and Got7’s manager was there, waving slightly towards her. 

Haejin’s expression softened as realizing that Jaebeom wasn’t alone.

“I came here to see you—

“Jaebeom, you were given a restriction order. I’m sure you are clever enough to know what a restriction order is. You’re not supposed to be here,” muttered Haejin as she grabbed his arms, pulling him inside the garage.

Haejin looked outside to see if anyone was there, as her gaze turned towards Jaebeom. 

He was hesitating on what to say, and it was obvious because he was making faces that Haejin would always see if he was troubled.

Though he looked like he was struggling, he looked cute at the same time.

Haejin waited for him to continue, as he finally turned towards her, his eyes locking with hers this time. 

The next thing that he did was unexpected, even Haejin was taken aback as she was in his arms, feeling him wrapping around her body tightly.

But what made Haejin feel miserable was she could feel his body trembling, finally realizing that she wasn’t the only one who was suffering. 

“Jaebeom-ah,”

“Please don’t let go of me,” trembled Jaebeom, but Haejin roughly pushed him away as her eyes moved towards his, he looked like the world was falling apart. 

He was actually about to break down when Haejin held onto his hands, intertwining her fingers with his.

“It’s too cold out here, let’s go in,”

With a cup of tea in her hands, Haejin wordlessly led Jaebeom towards her shared room with Ahrin, thanking the leader that she was outside with Chaeun, as they were having a serious conversation.

With both of her hands that were full, Haejin closed the door with her legs as she quickly led Jaebeom towards her bed.

“You don’t have to do this, Haejin-ah.” muttered Jaebeom and Haejin turned towards him as she was holding onto a pack of makeup remover tissues.

“Do what?” questioned Haejin as she was furrowing her eyebrows, kind of curious what he was about to say. His eyes went downcast.

“Aren’t you not mad? Why are you so calm about this?” questioned Jaebeom softly as Haejin began walking towards him, sitting in front of him as she began removing his makeup without saying a word.

Jaebeom’s eyes never left hers. Her gentle touch makes his body shiver, knowing he missed her dearly, wanting to just be in her arms for the whole night.

“I would be lying if I say I’m not mad. But once you love someone, that feeling instantly washed away, don’t you think?” inquired Haejin softly, her eyes turned towards his. 

“Oh god, Haejin-ah. I love you, so much. I’m so sorry,” Jaebeom pulled Haejin closer towards him, they were inches away from each other, looking at each other's eyes intensely.

“I love you too, Jaebeommie. It’s okay, everyone has those days, babe.” muttered Haejin as her hands began caressing his hair, and he missed this. He missed her touches, he missed the way she called him.

Jaebeom knew he would be in trouble knowing he will suffer whenever they are away for more than a week. 

“The restriction order. It drives me crazy but I’m more worried about you,” Jaebeom muttered, his hands reaching for her cheeks, softly caressing her cheeks.

“Don’t worry, Jaebeom-ah. The girls and I will find a solution for this,” Haejin held onto his hands with a small smile.

“But if their solution was to break us apart, I will—

“Jaebeom, that won’t happen. They won’t do something like that - that would not give any benefit for the company, that’s MMG,” explained Haejin as she smiled a little, giving a peck on his lips.

“Well, it’s getting late, so why not spend the night here?” offered Haejin with a cheeky smile, and Jaebeom instantly jumped towards her, tackling her.

masterlist : Got7 Bodyguard Au

[hokkaidodo-blog]

there’s snow business like hoe business

In my life so far, there have been many things that I have started to do. Many things that have interested me greatly and captured my intrigue and thus,  I have made it my mission to accomplish said things. This process usually includes equal parts of both impulse buying tat from the Internet that I am convinced will be beneficial to me in some way for my new hobby and also developing slightly obsessive behaviours with regards to the aforementioned new hobby and putting every second of my spare time into it. This undoubtedly all occurs before the dawning realisations that I was, in fact, unfortunately born with the attention span of a goldfish and that either 1) I’m bored shitless of my new hobby and can’t believe I was ever interested in it in the first place,  or 2) I have a huge tantrum because I’ve started something new and difficult for 10 minutes a week but somehow I’m not automatically a pro at it immediately. The third step is the abandonment of my new hobby never to be seen, mentioned or eluded to in any way, shape or form for the rest of my fickle existence. My current list of personal pathetic pursuits includes – but is by no means limited to – the following things:

Learning German. Ask me what I ate for breakfast and as long as it’s cereal or an apple, I can tell you in German.

Dance aerobics classes. Lol.

Intricate adult colouring books. My eyes go fuzzy after colouring one leaf and my friends think I’m mad when I turn around and “hey guys, look at this cool art-nouveau squirrel I just spent three hours colouring in 47 shades of brown.”

Going to the gym. Cried for two weeks solid when I pulled a toe muscle and then was appalled and disgusted when I didn’t wake up the next day after one mild workout with a toned tummy and arms like Popeye.

Eating healthier. People who say they prefer a green smoothie over a share-bag of pretzels and a pot of cheese and chive dip are fake. Steer clear and do not trust.

THIS BLOG. Somehow, it’s been two months since I last posted my last post which ALSO started out similarly by saying something along the lines of “omg lol how has is been so long since I’ve written?!” lol.

Anyway, this time I present to you another smattering of pictures and verbal diarrhoea (is this still verbal?) digital diarrhoea and stories and stuff and a bunch of I-don’t-even-know-what from the past two months.

To start with, the season here turned faster than my stomach when sometimes I would get home from a terribly draining and emotionally tiring day at school of playing with poster paint and lentils in GSCE Art BTEC and ask Mum what we’re having for dinner, to which she’d reply with the dreaded: “mackerel salad”.  One day I was still in my T-shirt and jumper, walking to campus wading through piles of golden foliage and then suddenly two days later and I’m skating to school on sheet ice covered in bruises from spectacular tumbles and a good three feet of snow on either side of me. A lot of my friends in sunny Spain or France or even Tokyo say to me (whilst surprising smug giggles) “how’s Sapporo, Ross? Enjoying the snow?” to which I adamantly reply, “It’s not that cold!” and then rummage for a third pair of socks and my thermal undies. It’s beautiful though and I don’t regret a thing!

Snow business like hoe business, amirite

As for Christmas, – and no I am not a Scrooge – I am not feeling at all Christmassy this year. People still work and have classes on the 25th - which is gross for me - but there are still decorations and huge light displays up until midnight on Christmas Day, when as soon as it is over every trace of the festive season is torn down and everybody gets ready to welcome in the New Year.

“can you take a picture of us, we’re a couple”

This being said, I will definitely miss getting plastered with my Grandma on Christmas eve by glugging a bottle Amaretto and then waiting for her to request that the entire family sings “O Come Let Us Adore Him” in five part harmony whilst accompanied by Grandpa on the stylophone; sitting around in my pajamas on Christmas morning, laughing for thirty minutes because the puppy gets present opening priority and then Mum gets the black bin-sack out because he’s covered the living room in wrapping paper confetti and glitter; and then also eating Iceland out of their entire supply of frozen duck spring rolls, mini pizzas and garlic mushroom bites on Boxing Day, before complaining about how full you are yet still continuing to inhale a quarter pound of the leftover turkey, half a block of cranberry Wensleydale (with pickles), some coleslaw, a pile of bubble and squeak and some Mingles whilst the same annual festive episode of Top of the Pops lulls you gently to sleep with Fairytale of New York and Slade.

OTARU

I didn’t realise how much I missed the ocean until I hadn’t seen it for a couple of months and the sea was longer than a 15 minute drive from my house. Luckily, the seaside town of Otaru is just a train ride away from Sapporo and it felt so good for my soul to be back by the water. (Hippie child alert.)

Otaru is a picturesque little town famous for glassblowing and its beautiful canal which is lit up with candles every year for it’s winter festival. Ironically (yet gruesomely hilarious to me), after visiting the aquarium which is apparently super famous, and admiring all of the fab fishies and strange creatures, we went to a seafood restaurant and had some of the best sushi and sashimi that I have eaten so far. In other news: the demolition of a seven-tier soft-serve ice cream that left me questioning my lactose tolerance; the discovery of yet more face-cut out standees that left us all with a questioning outlook on Japan; and a two-storey shop stocked full of music box pieces. Who knew the demand for that was so high?

“Hey guys, can one of you Google whether or not you can die from eating too much ice cream because I don’t feel all that hunky dory right now”

A bear in his pants holding tissues! Japan!

Yes! It’s meant to be a penis! Awesome!

Why is it that when it comes to telling people about what you’ve been up to that your brain just turns to porridge and you can’t help but reply with the bog-standard “Oh the usual; you know, not much”.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

So, three months in (eek) and what are my thoughts on Japan? Well…

1)      Japanese people (in general) seem to be very organised and structured. Take for example, the rush hour on the underground. In London it wouldn’t be unusual to have an unwashed armpit of a local hipster thrust under your nose on your morning commute whilst a lady next to you gossips loudly on the phone to her girls about the chlamydia disaster that happened with Tony last night. This may or may not be accompanied by the gentle pitter-patter sound of some 90s trance music seeping out from underneath some headphones somewhere; twelve people standing on your foot; a distinctive scent wafting from the gentleman opposite you who forgot to eat breakfast so decided to delight everyone with his loud munching of a Lamb & Mint from The Traditional Cornish Pasty Company; and occasionally the fleeting anxiety that comes with frantically patting yourself down and hoping that you haven’t dropped your wallet.

The Japanese subways are deathly quiet, however. Sometimes it’s peaceful in the morning, and sometimes it’s unnerving. You’re awkwardly scared to breathe in case it tickles someone’s neck and you’re all in a line facing the same way and you daren’t get in the way of the station attendant with the big wooden shield who squeezes you in so the doors can close. There’s no crazy rush or crowd on platforms, just two neat lines and an unsettling calmness for someone who is used to (and who quite enjoys) mild chaos and hecticness.  

 2)      Went to the Asahi Beer factory; the most lit class field trip ever. With free beer. 10/10 would recommend.

3)      Japanese staff in restaurants, ticket offices, libraries etc absolutely will NOT speak Japanese with a non-Japanese person. It’s incredibly frustrating. As someone who’s main focus here is to improve my language skills, it is tough to do so when you struggle to get natives to treat you like anybody else. Whether some Japanese people just assume that there is categorically no way that a non-Asian person could become conversational in Japanese, I have no idea. For example, you will order in a restaurant in near-perfect Japanese to which you are just started at blankly. The waitress turns to my Japanese friend who repeats word-for-word and accent-for-accent exactly what I just said, and everything is fine. This usually continues for a few minutes and each time leaves me questioning my intelligence, my language competency and my foreigner-ness, and also just what do I need to do to try and win over the Japanese? (Video link)

I think that’s it for now. I’m sure I had more thoughts so I’ll try and write them here more often when I remember them (part 2 of me saying that). Nothing much is happening in the next few weeks, it’s that kind of winter jaded-ness that happens every year. BUT – everything is beautiful, I’m still smiling and I’m still in Japan and very lucky to be alive. I’m looking forward to January where things will kick-start again, and I can start travelling and exploring some more. Just got to finish 2017 with as much love as possible and give it a good end.

BONUS PICS: Some pretty skies at the Hokkaido Historical Village and me riding a humpback whale at the museum. You’re welcome.

Every single typewriter stamp from an old Japanese printer press.

I'm putting on my shades to cover up my eyes, I'm jumping in my ride, I'm heading out tonight ;)

[ackhub]

2019 PC Build (pc-cairo)

This build log is about my 2019 PC build. Buying parts started in October 2018, and construction began in the January of the next year.

Buying parts

I reasoned that instead of buying everything in one go, I would wait for sales to pop for each part I needed. This was my "wait and see" strategy, which is why buying parts took over a month.

There were only two major decisions to make: one for the CPU and one for the GPU. After impulse buying a Freesync monitor on sale, I seriously considered a Vega 64 build. Yet, after hearing horror stories about how loud the “blower” Vega was, I decided to commit to a 1080Ti. My brother was able to find one on HardForums for a reasonable price.

The Ryzen 1700x was definitely the bang-for-buck option.  I hesitated because of buyer’s remorse for my college laptop, the budget Thinkpad T460s. Forgoing a more premium option made my life a lot harder for the three years of college I had been through. After confirming that it could run Witcher 3 on ultra at a reasonable pace, I decided to go with it over the Intel 8600k.

Another thing to remember. If you are in Texas on Black Friday, stay awake the extra two hours for California to reach midnight. This is how my brother snagged an insane bundle deal on Newegg, who called it off due to lack of inventory. We then went to a brick-and-mortar Microcenter, who honored an expired deal for a Ryzen bundle. The bundle included a cheap B350 motherboard, which became a problem in itself later.

By the end of November, I had ordered all the parts for the build. In hindsight, I regret waiting for sales at all. Buying everything on the same day would have saved a lot of time mulling over parts. Also, Black Friday prices ended up undercutting a lot of the deals I had jumped on a month earlier. In short, I didn't actually save any money by waiting and seeing.

Assuming I had all the parts, I began to assemble the PC, mounting the CPU on to the B350 motherboard. Due to an unexpected loss of stored parts during winter break, the build was stalled. This basic failure to keep inventory secure was the biggest setback so far in time and money. Were they stolen? Misplaced? Eaten? They had, for all intents and purposes, vanished in to thin air.

The shipping of the replacements was another ordeal. Replacement packages were a no-show for a week after the posted delivery date. Without any other options, I ended up requesting replacements for the replacements. This time at least, Newegg fronted the cost (or forced their supplier to).

Parts list

Even more mysteriously, more than a month after the posted delivery date, what I assume were the original replacement parts arrived. I sold the extra RAM and installed the SSD. The only thing we can learn from this is that USPS is terrible.

Construction

The first construction began on February 2nd, 2019. 

Everything had arrived. Compared to my last build, the build process was much easier. The improvements in case design made since 2010 was a certain factor. Especially impressing was the section designed for cable management. Without any skill or extra equipment, I got the cables mostly out of sight. Tom's Hardware, various paper manuals, and lizard-brain intuition covered all the rest.

After finishing, I tried booting the system. No response. None of the LEDs told me that I had built something that wasn't thousand dollar piece of garbage. After panicking for a bit, and then remembering to plug an important power supply cable in to the B350, the gods rewarded me with a successful boot in to Windows.

Construction 2

The second construction began on February 13th, 2019. 

The main goal of building a computer is to be able to turn it on. I was able to complete this goal in a normal amount of time. What was much harder for me was to get my computer to turn off.

From a forum post I made: 

Describe your problem. List any error messages and symptoms. Be descriptive.

PC can not wake up from sleep and can not shut down all the way. When I try to shut the PC down through Windows, the screen goes black and the fan seems to get a little bit louder. However, the motherboard fan LED will stay on (I've used AORUS Engine to turn off the lights for the graphics card, but before I did so the graphics card RGB would stay on too). In this state, the power button does nothing, so I have to force shutdown to turn the computer on again. When I try to sleep, the computer also stays in this half-awake state and the screen is unresponsive, even when pressing the power button/keys on the keyboard.

List anything you've done in attempt to diagnose or fix the problem.

Turned off Fast Startup in Windows 10 make sure Deep Sleep is off in BIOS Updated drivers Reset cmos with jumper and taking out battery. I've also tried shutting down when booting Ubuntu from a usb drive, it hangs on what looks to be a terminal window. Reset CMOS with jumper with all power cables disconnected. CMOS reset isn't fixing this problem. Reinstalling Windows, despite confirming with Ubuntu that it isn't an OS related problem. Interestingly enough, freshly installed Windows acts similarly to Ubuntu when attempting to shut off, where the shutdown screen freezes. Booting Windows in to Safe Mode also has the same problem when shutting down. In fully updated Windows, the motherboard can make it to No Signal before the computer has trouble shutting down. Downgraded BIOS to 3.0, upgraded it back to 5.4 with Instant Flash

Just for reference, other people who had similar problems with ASRock motherboards: 1, 2, 3

I gave up on my old motherboard and bought an Asus X370 on April 12, 2019. In a month and eleven days’ time, I spent around thirty hours of effort to try and fix a hardware problem. Another loss of time (and money).

Replacing a motherboard is annoying, because almost every other component connects to it directly. The only way to do it is to take your computer apart and put it back together again. Which I did. After the second “first” boot, I was able to shutdown without any delay. It only took buying a new motherboard and rebuilding the entire PC to fix whatever had been broken before.

Some doubt still remains. While installing the new motherboard, I realized I had used the wrong standoff screws. What are standoff screws? A new PC case comes with many sets of screws. One set works as a gap between the motherboard and the case, preventing electrical interference. During the first construction, I had used the wrong set of screws as standoff screws. The actual set was still sealed inside a ziplock bag. I needed to test again with the old motherboard and the right set of standoff screws to isolate the screws as the issue. That said, I had already applied some expensive thermal cream and mounted my CPU on the new board. I didn’t want to remove it and install it again on the old board just to isolate the standoff screws as the problem.

Given all this, there are two valid theories about the reason for the “shutdown” issue.

The old B350 motherboard was broken as a piece of hardware, or was incompatible with some other piece of hardware. It could not deliver the operating system’s shutdown signal to the rest of the machine.

Using the wrong set of standoff screws caused interference. This affected the circuitry and prevented a component from shutting off.

Theory 2 is unlikely. The wrong screws still created a generous gap for both components. As long as the metal on the motherboard wasn’t touching the metal on the case, they were still fulfilling their purpose as standoff screws.

Conclusion

Like any other endeavor, building a computer requires decision-making competence. I lacked this at several otherwise inconsequential steps. This made the build much harder than it needed to be. Still, it works. I’ve yet to find a good naming scheme for the computers I’ve built (all two of them), but I’ll figure one out one in time. 

[kokoro4kakashi]

Get to Know Me!

Tagged By @do-you-even-kakashi​ :)

Rules : Answer these 92 statements and tag however many people you want

THE LAST : 1. Drink : water, it’s like 90+ here. (i am dying) 2. Phone call: the vet, prolly... 3. Text message: meh bf *heart eyes* 4. Song you listened to: Hah, does the like 30 second video that GassyMexican on youtube puts up when he’s streaming count? Cuz that diddy sticks in my head for daaaays. I love it. ♫ I am live streaming. You should go there - and watch it. I am live streaming. You should go there - and watch it. ... ♫ 5. Time you cried: Eh, sometime earlier in the week cuz I miss my brother.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice : Nupe. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nupe. 8. Been cheated on: Nupe. 9. Lost someone special: Yup. 10.Been depressed: Yup                                                                                   11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope, don’t drink. Not the annoying righteous ‘I do not drink’, but more the ... ew, I dun like everything I’ve tried so fuck it.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Purple, teal, annnd white.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yup. 16. Fallen out of love: Yup. 17. Laughed until you cried: Yup. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nupe. 19. Met someone who changed you: Yup.                                                       20. Found out who your friends are: Yup. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nupe.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: A few. 23. Do you have any pets: 4 cats. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nupe. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Nothing. 26. What time did you wake up: 8:30am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Trying to get to sleep for the few hours of sleep I get. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: insulin remission on my cat. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Today 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Motivation. Make it last longer, I guess. I have spurts where I’m like I AM GONNA DO THE THING! then literally a half hour later I’m like eeeeh... it can wait. (narrator: it usually shouldn’t wait) 31. What are you listening to right now: CNN, and the A/C 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I remember a SUPER annoying Tom from 6th grade. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The increasing disrespect in this neighborhood. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, Youtube, Twitter

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Yup. 36. Mark/s: Er, I have a small scar on my arm from a cat bite. 37. Childhood dream: I dunno... I think I just wanted to be happy with whatever I ended up doing. 38. Haircolor: Brown 39. Long or short hair: I prefer medium on myself. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Fictional Characters, yes. (*waits for someone to point out my weakness for hokage-naughties*) 41. What do you like about yourself: My wit. 42. Piercings: Just ears. 43. Bloodtype: ?? 44. Nickname: None irl 45. Relationship status: Taken :) 46. Zodiac: Sagittarius 47. Pronouns: She/Her... I guess. Not opposed to Duuuuuude, tho. 48. Favorite TV Show: Oh, dun think I have a favorite... am getting amped up for Thrones to come back, tho.

49. Tattoos: Nupe. 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: er, some dental surgery in the past. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nupe. 53. Sports: None... but I can watch baseball without complaining. Well, I can watch most sports without complaining, really, but I know baseball well. 55. Vacation: somewhere on a private island 56. Pair of trainers: Yes?

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Nothing atm! Thinking of gettin somethin tho 58. Drinking: Water 59. I’m about to: Check activity feeds of meh blogs and then maybe tumblr a bit after eating. 61. Waiting for: Hm... I guess a few hours from now when I pick a movie to watch. 62. Want: A few Kakashi and Minato figures I have my eye on but not the impulse to just buy atm. Really wish I did something here I could possibly ask commissions for, lol. Just to pay for a few figures. We’d all win. I’d post tons of picks, yanno it :) 63. Get married: Someday! But with no fuss, prolly just the minimum of going to the courthouse, or whatever it takes to just be official and keep costs and sillly dresses, etc out. 64. Career: If I could water plants all day, I’d love that.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Er, hugs but lemme know first! 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. I’ve stared at people before cuz of it. 67. Shorter or taller: shorter 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: um, gonna say stomach cuz i need to take care of mine a bit, lol 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, i know thee well.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Nupe 75. Drank hard liquor: Nupe                                                                                 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t have any. 77. Turned someone down: Kinda. 78. Sex on the first date: Nupe. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Hope not. 80. Had your heart broken: Yup. 81. Been arrested: Nupe. 82. Cried when someone died: For ...ever. 83. Fallen for a friend: Nupe.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Sometimes. 85. Miracles: Those happen to other people. 86. Love at First Sight: Not really. 87. Santa Claus: There was a time, til I heard my parents one eve carrying presents out of their room after midnight. 88. Kiss on the first date: Nupe.

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Heather, haven’t talked to her in over 6 months tho cuz she gives me so much grief about my situation, tho. 91. Eye color: Brown 92. Favorite movie: I could watch Jurassic Park every day.

Tagging......... anyone with an R in their url! ;)

[goingknowherewastaken]

240?!!!???!?!?!!???

*insert that gif of Andy Dwyer getting really excited that tumblr is not allowing me to have here*

Oh my god, thank you!!! ♥

At the beginning of the month I mentioned that I wanted to reach 200 by the 20th, but boy did that get surpassed lol! This was never something that I ever thought would happen to me. I got into writing fanfiction on a whim and it took some time to really settle down and dedicate myself to the craft, but oh was I not prepared. I knew I’d find some people who would read my work now and then; I didn’t expect to find this wonderful little niche of fanfic writers and readers on here. In my four years on this site I’ve never found a niche quite like this one and I’m so proud and honored to be apart of it!

So I want to say thank you and my way of saying thank you is the following:

I’m going to be accepting some reader insert drabble requests. Not a lot, unfortunately. This is my first time accepting a lot of fic requests and with what I have planned, I want to keep it at a manageable number. So I will be taking on 10 requests.

And I thought I’d make this celebration a fun one and work around a theme

My favorite theme actually. Well, trope is a better description..

See I love AUs, but more importantly - I love Soulmate!AUs!

Yes, all of these will be Soulmate!AUs!!! :D 

And since today is the first official day of Summer, I’m calling this the Summer of Soulmates Follower Celebration! Or i guess the GoingKnowhere’s 200 Follower Celebration works as well, but let’s be honest - Summer of Soulmates sounds a lot better ;)

And you can find out more about what’s happening below vvvv

The Low-down:

I’m only taking on 10 reader insert drabbles. Since this is a follower celebration, I will not be taking requests from anons.

Pick from the characters I have listed. While at some point I would like to write for a wide variety of characters, these are the ones that currently have my interest. Then pick a Soulmate AU and finally you may add in some prompts. I have two prompt lists - a sentence one and a set-the-scene au one.. (please see the lists below the cut)

When you make your request, go to my ask box and send something along the lines of : “[greeting/congrats]! Can I request [character] with [desired prompts and soulmate au]...” Specifying any other details. Once I have 10 requests I will not be accepting anymore and won’t be answering any remaining ones in my ask box.

I am not writing smut for these. I don’t mind doing vague or implying, but I don’t do anything super detailed. 

I also have the right to deny a request or certain details of it if I am not comfortable with it or if an exact or near similar request has already been made. So make sure to keep an eye on what’s already been requested. I’ve listed a lot of prompts so there isn’t going to be that short of a supply of them lol

Requests take time and my time is split between many things. I will most likely complete and post them in the order they are accepted. I won’t be starting them right away, but I will be starting them soon. Please, be patient while I write! Thank you! 

Continue on to find the prompts :)

Characters:

Jim Kirk (AOS)

Bones (AOS)

Scotty (AOS)

Steve Trevor (DC)

Bernie Webber (The Finest Hours)

*I may have sort of went overboard in picking out things because I lack self control*

(most taken from perfectlyrose, also found here, here, here, here, here, and here)

Soulmate!AUs (Pick 1):

Reverse one where the clock starts at 00:00:00:00 from the moment you’re born and stops counting the moment you meet your soulmate, so it’s like a reminder that “It took me 19 years, 11 months, 20 hours, and 13 seconds to meet you, you fuck, and you do it by spilling coffee on me, thanks, now my laptop’s broken—what, you’re buying me a new one? Okay.” [the latter is their example]

The original clock one where your clock has a time and slowly counts down to 00:00:00:00 at which you will meet your soulmate

Where you actually have a compass instead of a clock, and it leads you to where your soulmate should be.

the one where you only see color once you meet your soulmate(s) || Optional : blind characters who can’t see if the world’s in color or black and white

the one where you only see certain colors up until you meet your soulmate(s) and then you see the whole range of colors

Where a tattoo isn’t set from the moment you’re born and whatever tattoos your soulmate gets, you get it too and it’s all cool because you kind of like the designs, [except you also feel the pain of getting a tattoo and that sucks because you’re kind of in the middle of an exam right now and it’s getting harder to concentrate on your work.]

Whatever mark you get on your skin your soulmate gets it too so one day, you just kind of just get a sharpie and start writing on your skin. You definitely didn’t expect to get a reply, but you did.

If you’re on separate time zones, when you sleep, you see the world in the eyes of your soulmate at present time. You see the world through your soulmate’s eyes, what they’re eating, who they’re talking to, the contents of the essay paper they’re trying to finish, but if they look into a mirror/reflective surface/picture, the image is blurred so you don’t really have a clue what they look like.

On some days, whatever your soulmate thinks of is something you can hear in your mind [ex: your soulmate is currently reading really hardcore smut fics and you’re trying so hard not to mess up this class presentation which shoulders half your mark for the semester] (close proximity would activate this)

the one where you don't know your soulmate(s) until you hear them speak, or hear them speak a certain word; your name, for example

the one where you have their name

the one where you have their first words spoken to you

the one where you get matching marks/symbols/tattoos

the one where you form a telepathic/empathetic link after you find them or have always had one

the one where in universes with magic meeting your soulmate(s) activates your powers/unlocks more powerful magic

Sentence Prompts (pick 1-3)(won’t necessarily be the soulmate tell):

“I’ve never seen that done before. There’s a reason for it. It’s a bad idea.”

“What’s with the box?”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“What’s with all the running anyway?”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“Easy cheesy.”

“Shut up, it’s fine, just chill, we’re fine, I’m fine, everything is cool, everything is good! We’re chill, nothing is happening and I am not freaking out, not at all, we’re FINE.”

“Still breaking hearts?”

“Let’s not confuse healthy eating with a hot dog.”

“you’re the only one.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“Marry me.”

“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else."

“why do you always have to be such an asshole?

“You’re scared of that, aren’t you?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“it’s complicated.”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“Wild and disrespectful?”

“I love you. Of course I’m gonna defend you like that.”

“Well obviously nothing is going on here!”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“Don’t touch her/him/them!”

“So MacGyvering this out of my tuckus right now.”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“is there any reason as to why you’re getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon?

“You screw with me, I’ll screw with you.”

“i’m pretty good at providing distractions.”

“Why is there a picture of Steve Buscemi in your bathroom?!”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Are you ready to dance with the devil?”

“it’s okay, i’m here.”

“just sit down and let me take care of you.”

“I may have mildly panicked…”

“Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle"

“That’s sweet in a kind of nauseating kind of way.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“There’s a thin line between brulee and Pompeii.”

“you don’t scare me.”

“i’m in love with you but i don’t want you to hurt me.”

“I’ll be honest with you – I was raised by wolves.”

“why do you even care?”

“He’s like the cockroach that will never die.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“I’m not really good with impulse control.”

“If you say another word about her/him, you’ll regret it.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“you’re not alone. you never were.”

“Well, we’ll see about the delight.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“I don’t know what you’re gonna do without it! [evil laugh]”

“This isn’t a joke. I’m serious.”

“don’t call me ‘princess,’ asshole.”

“It’s cute that you tried to protect me and all, but you’re like a foot shorter than me, you know?”

“tell me this is a dream.”

“You look like an open autopsy.”

Set the Scene Prompts (Pick 1)

“Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”

We’re at a concert and I can’t see a thing let me sit on your shoulders, maybe?”

hey i just moved into the house next door and i just wanted to let you know that your dog keeps getting into my yard an - wait what? what do you mean that’s a cat????? that’s not a cat it’s fucking huge!!!! (turns out it is a cat, it’s just really big and fat)

“You take my parking spot every few days yes I know they’re not assigned but that one is mine” au

“I’m low on cash but I really need some food from this vending machine, could i trouble you for a dollar?” au

The postal worker delivered your package to my place accidentally and I was expecting something so I totally didn’t look before I opened it and… wow that is um… quite an interesting thing you bought and I’m here to return it

you’re a gardener with a nice ass that i can’t stop staring at and one day you caught me looking at you bent over and fuck that’s embarrassing but then suddenly you started wearing tighter pants dear holy lord // it’s a total coincidence that I happen to water my plants at the same time you jog past my house AU

our dogs are in love with each other and it’s making things awkward at the dog park AU

I injured myself doing something stupid at a holiday party and you’re the doctor at the emergency clinic AU

"This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket” AU

“i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au

‘pls chill out it’s only p.e. it’s not the olympics it’s just p.e. chill’ au

I just moved into a new apartment and went to buy groceries, but I bought more than I could carry back. I’ve stopped to catch my breath when I hear someone asking if I need help and I look up and the sun is literally making you glow like a damn angel.

“you and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and i’m really just trying to study over here so i’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game”

“i came up to your apartment to ask you to turn down your music and have quieter sex, but it turns out that you’ve just been jumping up and down on your bed in your underwear listening to music alone” au

❛❛ i just got bowled over by your huge-ass dog in the park && now you’re profusely apologizing while trying to hold your dog off ❜❜

❛❛ you’re infamous for being an asshole, && i had to sit next you in class. turns out you’re kinda nice one-on-one. ❜❜

“idk you but you were getting hit on in public and you look super uncomfortable so i walked over and pretended to be your bf/gf, but hey while we’re at it, do you wanna go get some food?” au

“You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you’re wondering how I can read this with a blank face.”

where one person is actually famous and sets up a dating account with their real picture and the other sees it and is like, oh dude you are not fooling anyone with that picture and when they actually meet the other is pissed because DUDE YOU’RE THAT FAMOUS PERSON and the other is like, yeah, i mean, i thought you knew…

i have a soft spot for cats so i always feed the fat one that’s always hanging out in the hall with treats and now it started hanging around me fuck i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to accidentally steal your pet

it’s exam week and i run a coffee shop near the campus and you walked right into my glass door i’m laughing so hard oh my god

“I just threw away a winning lottery ticket in a park garbage can by accident FUCK HELP ME LOOK FOR IT I’LL GIVE YOU A PORTION OF THE WINNINGS” AU

“ur just a random stranger and i’ve been ranting to you for like 20 minutes about how much i hate this one band but now several groups of people came up to you asking for pics and autographs, and oh shit it turns out you’re in the band i’ve been going on about” au

Neighbour who’s way too enthusiastic about LOTR soundtracks au

you left your USB flash drive in the library computer and i had to go through your files to figure out who you are and i ended up reading the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re actually really good????

both stuck in the dorm common room because their respective roommates needed “alone time”

waiter/waitress one: “You always come to this place and never talk much, but now these two assholes are harassing me and you step in and defend me” au

You’re a famous viner and I constantly witness you doing the weirdest things AU

“We’re sitting next to each other on this plane and and I was eating gummies, but I left all the red ones cause they’re absolute shit and now you’re asking if you can have them” AU

“I went to water my plants on the balcony and you’re on yours with a tinfoil hat what the hell are you doing” AU

“I went to see you live in concert and was front row and you went into the crowd and I grabbed your hand, but started freaking out so much that I was touching you that I couldn’t let go to the point where security had to physically tear me away from you and now you’ve invited me backstage literally what” AU

working in a museum au

'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU

“this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au

“i was eavesdropping on ur phone convo with ur friend who offered you tickets to my favorite band and you don’t even want them, do you wanna give me your friend’s number maybe?” au

“actor at a haunted house/person who punches the actor in the face” AU

'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU [name the song(s)]

“we’re internet friends and follow each other on all social media but have never met but hey, i’m going on vacation where you live, let’s meet (and also date)” au

“you sat next to me at the movie theatre and i really hated your movie but i didn’t realize you were in it”

“i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can’t stop watching you do one armed push ups that’s so hot” au

“That asshole stole my song at karaoke night” au

Please stop picking flowers from my garden au

“We sat next to each other during a really sad film and now we’re sharing tissues silently whilst we cry at the cinema” AU

“You just watched me slip on the ice and wind up sitting in the snowbank beside the parking lot. You’re laughing and now it’s you slipping and your face in the snowbank across from me” au

[bibliosexxual]

A thing you probably don't know about me is that sometimes I get in this mood where I don't want to do anything but spend every spare moment binge-watching House, M.D. for several days at a time. I was on ep 2.15, "Clueless," AKA that one where Wilson crashes at House's place for a while, when inspiration struck and this Sterek drabble happened. Or… It’s almost 2k words, so maybe it’s a bit more than a drabble, BUT it’s still a drabble in spirit. (Rated T.)

It's almost midnight when Derek finally shoulders on his coat, locks his office door, and steps out, only to spot Stiles crouched in front of the vending machine at the end of the hall, whacking the glass with the heel of his palm and muttering darkly.

Derek can't just ignore him; he never can. (It's a bit of a problem, and everyone in the hospital seems to know it, except for Stiles.) Before he knows it, he's changed tracks and walked right over. "What are you still doing here?"

Stiles sits back on his heels to look up at him. "Bob ate my dollar and I'm feeling petty so I'm trying to get it back."

"Bob?" Derek asks, a split second before he remembers that Stiles named the vending machine. It's just this kind of thing that makes Derek feel guilty for sometimes looking at Stiles' mouth a little too long, or pausing to let his eyes follow Stiles' progress down the hall. Stiles isn't a kid or anything, but he's still only 26 to Derek's 32, and he's still got a year of residency to go. A lot of times, like when he’s jamming out to his iPod while he looks over lab work or doing stupid stuff like naming the vending machines, he seems to Derek more like a college kid than a grown man with a medical license and a house and a girlfriend.

Stiles goes back to hitting the vending machine, and Derek remembers why he originally came over here. "Didn't your shift end at 7?"

Stiles smirks up at him, and Derek tries very, very hard not to imagine him making that same face in certain... other contexts. "What, you got my schedule memorized now, Dr. Hale? I'm flattered."

It would make Derek's life a lot easier if so much of what Stiles said didn't come out sounding so flirtatious. Derek crosses his arms over his chest. "You're deflecting."

Stiles holds the smirk a few seconds longer and then, under Derek's glare, lets it drop. "Okay, fine," he sighs, and leans forward to rest his forehead against the glass front of the vending machine. "Dani broke up with me, okay?"

"What? When?"

"This morning, over text. She said I wasn't into her enough, and then I stupidly went for the obvious innuendo and she said I was fatally incapable of being serious about our relationship and... Yeah." He winces and closes his eyes. "She kicked me out. I knew it was too soon to move in with her. Lydia told me, and I didn't listen. Why do I always do this to myself?"

"Er... Sorry?" Derek tries. If Stiles starts crying, he's not sure what he'll do. He's never had to witness Stiles break up with anyone before, or be broken up with. Until Dani six months ago, Stiles had been hung up on Lydia—Dr. Martin, one of the hospital's neurosurgeons—pretty faithfully for the entirety of his residency. Faithfully, and hopelessly.

Stiles shakes his head, getting to his feet. He shoots Derek a rueful little smile. "I'm not too broken up about it. Dani was right. I wasn't into her enough."

"Oh," Derek says. A small, possessive part of him grins contentedly at that, but he does his best to ignore it. He and Stiles are friends, and that's that. It shouldn't matter to him if Stiles is single now. It shouldn't.

"The only bad thing about it," Stiles goes on, "is that I am now temporarily homeless, which is why I'm still here, fighting with Bob."

Derek heaves a mental sigh, mostly at himself. He should know by now not to invite Stiles over, because it never ends well. Last time, Stiles set off the fire alarm making toast at 3 a.m., and the time before that, he managed to break the one expensive vase in Derek's entire apartment.  But who is he kidding. All Stiles has to do is look at him, big brown Bambi eyes blinking hopefully, and Derek is saying, "You can sleep on my couch."

"Aw, you do care," Stiles grins. He throws an arm over Derek's shoulders and then laughingly snatches it back when Derek glares. "Okay, no touching. You've got to maintain your cool guy rep. I get it."

"Don't make me regret this," Derek says, pulling out the stern look he always saves for new interns. Stiles just looks fond, and not at all scared. Derek should probably be more worried about that.

*

Derek has played host to Stiles a number of times, usually when Stiles has had too many beers after poker night, but he's never let Stiles stay over for more than one night. Not that Stiles has ever asked.

This ends up being a lot more than one night.

Stiles is indeed house-hunting, or rather, apartment-hunting. Derek knows this because people keep leaving messages for Stiles on Derek's answering machine about it. But it takes time to find the right place, and Stiles is picky. Plus, Stiles is putting in long hours at the hospital, and sometimes he doesn't want to spend his miniscule amount of free time on adult stuff like browsing real estate ads on Craigslist; he just wants to sleep or eat or zone out playing video games on the TV he bought for Derek's living room. (Derek, prior to Stiles, never saw the point of owning a TV. Stiles says he can't live in a house without one.)

A month passes, and then two.

Derek gets used to the fold-out sofa bed taking up most of the living room floor. He gets used to Stiles' toothbrush and Adderall on his bathroom counter and Stiles' faded red hoodie over the back of the kitchen chair. He gets used to his homemade sandwiches and casseroles and soups disappearing from the fridge in the middle of the night, never to be seen again, just so long as Stiles is the one to buy the groceries every once in a while to make up for it.

Stiles' nerd magazines start cluttering up Derek's coffee table. His brand of coffee creamer gets its own regular spot in Derek's fridge. On nights when they leave at different times, Derek gets used to stepping gingerly into the foyer in the dark when he gets home so he doesn't trip over Stiles' sneakers. Other nights, they leave together, and Stiles messes with Derek's radio and puts his feet up on the dash and tries to sneak contraband curly fries into Derek's car's pristine interior.

"Living with Stilinski, that must suck," Greenberg from Radiology says, all buddy-buddy, in the staff lounge one day.

Derek stops pouring his tea. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, the guy is kinda weird, don't you think? So it must be a pain, having him as a roommate."

"No," Derek says coldly.

Greenberg shrugs, apparently unfazed. "Okay, well, I just thought I would let you know my cousin has a place he's renting out, if that's of any interest. Here's his card."

Derek might not like Greenberg, but maybe his cousin is nicer. Wouldn't hurt to check it out, anyway. Stiles doesn't really talk about it, but he must be getting pretty desperate, after two months and still no suitable apartment located.

So Derek gives the cousin a quick call and passes the business card along to Stiles. That's the last he hears about it for about a week, until he walks by the staff lounge one evening and stops dead in the hall, hearing Stiles talking to someone.

"No, Dr. Hale must've told you wrong." A pause. "Right. I'm not in the market to rent a place right now. Okay. Thanks, bye."

Derek clears his throat pointedly from the doorway and Stiles spins around, clutching the phone to his chest. "Derek! Um. Hi?"

"To answer your unspoken question," Derek says, "yes, I did hear that."

"Shit."

"You're supposed to be finding an apartment, Stiles!"

"Yes, okay, but..."

"You can't just move into my apartment and hope I don't notice!"

Stiles winces. "Yeah, when you put it like that, it might not've been my greatest plan."

Derek can't right now. He just can't. "I'm going to my office."

*

Of course, because this is Stiles, he comes bursting in almost as soon as Derek's sat down behind his desk. "Ugh, just... Let me explain? Please?"

"Fine," Derek sighs.

Stiles runs his hands through his hair, fiddles with the framed photo of Derek's sisters on the desk until Derek clears his throat pointedly. "I just did it because... Because I wanted to stay."

Derek raises his eyebrows. "Yeah, I got that part, thanks."

Stiles rolls his eyes. "You are so frustrating. No, wait. That's not what I meant to say. I like you. I like you and I wanted..."

He trails off, looking at Derek helplessly.

Derek licks his lips, throat suddenly dry. "You wanted?"

Stiles tackles him in the chair and kisses him full on the mouth. Derek has just a second to get over the surprise, and then a glorious two seconds to kiss back, before his chair tips backward under Stiles' momentum and the world tilts wildly as they go crashing to the floor. Stiles yelps and nearly head butts him. It's basically the worst and most dangerous first kiss of Derek's life, and somehow he's not even surprised. It's just how things always seem to go around Stiles.

Derek groans. He's pretty sure Stiles managed to knee him in the gut on the way down. "Why do I have so many near-death experiences around you?"

"I'm just special, I guess. Also, you should probably start buying sturdier chairs."

"This chair was plenty sturdy enough until you tackled me like a fucking child with no impulse control—"

"Fuck you, it was romantic," Stiles huffs. Then he grins, just a little, raising himself up on his elbows to look down at Derek. "You liked it, though."

"Shut up," Derek says, bright red.

Stiles leans in, gets a hand on Derek's tie. "You liked it. You like me. And you don't want me to move out."

Derek's eyes drift down to Stiles' mouth. "Maybe... Maybe we could postpone the house-hunting. Just for a little while. See how things go."

Stiles nods sagely. "I guess we could do that. Just for a little while."

(end)

[ranchman]

jeez ive been kinda absent but im gonna do this so i dont forget about it (i kinda aready did) but oh well. tagged by my boy @retroplantdad​

THE LAST: 1. Drink: juice baybe

2. Phone call: probably my manager

3. Text message: rice emoji

4. Song you listened to: idk it was sad tho. i think it was somethin by russ

5. Time you cried: i think like the last day of school. not graduation tho


HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no......... ??? idr

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: OH yeah

8. Been cheated on: uh. hopefully not

9. Lost someone special: alot

10. Been depressed: who tf not depressed

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: naw

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 1. deep red

2. pink

3. emerald green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: YA

16. Fallen out of love: i dont know her

17. Laughed until you cried: alot

18. Found out someone was talking about you: i think... idk he kinda hates me now so?

19. Met someone who changed you: yea!!!!!!!

20. Found out who your friends are: YES

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: actually? i have but im almost positive hes got me blocked now

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: def all of them

23. Do you have any pets: nah

24. Do you want to change your name: yes! hopefully soon

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: oh i remember i was sick!! i stayed home and my parents made tons of food

26. What time did you wake up: like 11

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: eating. im p sure. or drawing

28. Name something you can’t wait for: this beautiful 89 vw cabriolet that im genuinely considering buying


30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my entire being?

31. What are you listening to right now: tool

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: tom.............

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: everything

34. Most visited Website: mmm. idk bout tumblr anymore but ive been on amazon alot lately lol

35. Mole/s: alot. mostly on my arms and belly

36. Mark/s: as in scars: a whoooooole lot on my shoulders n face but i dont have any birthmarks

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a vet

38. Haircolor: like this nasty reddish blondish brown

39. Long or short hair: short. gettin too long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: ya :^/

41. What do you like about yourself?: trick question. moving on

42. Piercings: just 3 on each ear

43. Bloodtype: A

44. Nickname: piece of shit, fucker, gaylord

45. Relationship status: very sad

46. Zodiac: libra

47. Pronouns: he/him/his only ples and thanx

48. Favorite TV Show: its always sunny is really good

49. Tattoos: no but hopefully real soon

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: def getting that eventually

52. Hair dyed in different color: yeah

53. Sport: just marching band, maybe drum corps soon

55. Vacation: anywhere but the south

56. Pair of trainers: uh like a fav? i dont have one

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothin

58. Drinking: nothin

59. I’m about to: go to work

61. Waiting for: paycheck

62. Want: paycheck

63. Get married: YEAH

64. Career: storyboard artist perhaps or a concept designer. or art teacher

65. Hugs or kisses: both v intimate, both v good

66. Lips or eyes: eyes. but lips are good too

67. Shorter or taller: im small man

68. Older or younger: im the younger of my friends so?

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: neither

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up turned relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant:V hesitant, but impulse kicks in almost immediately

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: i think?

75. Drank hard liquor: yeah

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: naw

77. Turned someone down: ye

78. Sex in the first date: probably not

79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah....... not good

80. Had your heart broken: alot

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: not rly idk if thats rly bad but :^/

83. Fallen for a friend: the only ppl i fall for are friends so? yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: lmao

85. Miracles: naw

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss in the first date: uuuuuuuuuhhhh undecided

89. Angels: not even the scary ones

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: i have SO MANY and i love them all so much

91. Eye color: green

92. Favorite movie: oh i def dont have one, but my fav genre is probably the rly sad ones (bonus if theyre gay/foreign)

i tag @spastikchildren @chibilicious-chibi @chocoboybuttfeathers @ literally anyone who wants to do this but i am. so tired

[zephyroh]

i was tagged by @trinispidey and i’m in the mood to procrastinate so, there it is

rules: answer all the questions and tag 20 other blogs [ tagged at the end of the post ]

last:

1. drink: coke because i need fresh sugary sparkly thing to drink 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: my sister 4. song you listened to: I bet you don’t curse god - christina grimie 5. time you cried: actually: a while ago, im surprised with myself 6. dated someone twice: nope, once is already hard enough 7. kissed someone and regretted it: when i was drunk 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: my grandpa in the literal way, my (ex) best friend in the figurative way 10. been depressed: currently doing that 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: saturday

3 favorite colors

12. blue 13. green 14. red

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yes, a few 16. fallen out of love: i guess 17. laughed until you cried: definitely 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: very cliché, but yes actually. muy life is a bad tv show 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yeah

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: too lazy to count, but not all of them. Like I know them, but don’t really know some 23. do you have any pets: imy parents have a cat 24. do you want to change your name: nah 25. what did you do for your last birthday: had a party with friends, got drunk 26. what time did you wake up: 9:30am, im trying to be healthy you know 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading a fic 28. name something you can’t wait for: get my tattoo 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: at christmas, she lives in a different city 31. what are you listening to right now: mayores - becky g 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: if i talk to myself, does that count? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: shitty fandoms 34. most visited website: tumblr, twitter, fb, gmail 35. hair color: brown 36. long or short hair: short 37. do you have a crush on someone: htank god no 38. what do you like about yourself: *regina geroge voice* you can’t just ask people what they like about themselves 39. piercings: yep, ear, not too fancy 40. blood type: a+ 41. nickname: tom 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: gemini 44. pronouns: he/him 45. favourite tv show: now that’s a good question, and it depends on too many things. i’ll gowith Grey’s Anatomy because i’m still whatching after 13 years and that’s a record 46. tattoos: soon :3 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: wisdom teeth 50. sport: i am not a sport person 51. vacation: i wish i could this year. i’d love to travel a bit 52. pair of trainers: one that i don’t use

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: im hungry, and thinking about buying thai food 54. drinking: right now water 55. I’m about to: go buy food 56. waiting for: pay day 57. want: a sense of purpose in life 58. get married: why not 59. career: neurobiologist

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: shorter 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 65. hookup or relationship: both, depends on the mood 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesistant, i am not an impulsive person

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: yeah 68. drank hard liquor: ooh yeah 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah and it sucks 70. turned someone down: yep 71. sex on the first date: sort of i guess 72. broken someone’s heart: i think 73. had your heart broken: oh yeah 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: unfortunately

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: depends on the day 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: lol 81. kiss on the first date: yeah 82. angels: yes, as in actual good human beings

OTHER:

84. eye color: blue 85. favorite movie: come on man

sorry but i don’t feel like thinking about who im gonna tag so im not gonna do it, to lazy ^^’

[totopopopo]

tagged by @brount

THE LAST:


1. Drink: Iced water

 
2. Phone call: I don’t remember 


3. Text message: Sherry


4. Song you listened to: Believer by Imagine Dragons


5. Time you cried: yesterday into my girlfriend’s arms

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: nope 


7. Been Cheated on: hope not 


8. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 


9. Lost someone special: many someones, actually 


10. Been depressed: hahaha 


11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:


12. Sunflower yellow 


13. Dark royal purple 


14. Color of my girlfriend’s eyes

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:


15. Made new friends: yeah !


16. Fallen out of love: nope


17. Laughed until you cried: at everyone Rowan has said in seminar ever 


18. Found out someone was talking about you: probably 


19. Met someone who changed you: Griffey lmao 


20. Found out who your true friends are: i already knew? 


21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: lmao I don’t have Facebook?

GENERAL:


22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? None lol I don’t have Facebook 


23. Do you have any pets: THREE 


24. Do you want to change your name: i used to but not anymore 


25. What did you do for your last birthday: I had classes all day but I did hang out w parents and then that weekend with my gf and then later w some pals 


26. What time did you wake up: 7:30am on weekdays and 12pm on weekends unless I have plans 


27. What were you doing at midnight last night: texted sherry then fell asleep 


28. Name something you cannot wait for: hanging out with sherry!!!!!!!! We gonna go to a spa lol

 
29. When was the last time you saw your mother: in the same room with her now 


30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish I could be certain abt my future 


31. What are you listening to right now: my dad’s reading an article abt prairie dog speech out loud 


32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope lol 


33. Something that is getting on your nerves: lucy


34. Most visited website: here 


35. Elementary: bailey elementary school 


36. High School: a good one 


37. College: I wanna go to Columbia but who knows 


38. Hair color: pink and blue and purple 


39. Long or short hair: short but I grew it out into an almost bob 


40. Do you have a crush on someone: on sherry my girlfriend 


41. What do you like about yourself: I like my passion abt stuff 


42. Piercings: five ear piercings 


43. Blood type: I wish I knew 


44. Nickname: sherry calls me Phoeber 


45. Relationship status: Gal Pals with my gf sherry 


46. Zodiac sign: Aries 


47. Pronouns: she/her 


48. Favorite TV show: the office or Brooklyn 99 or agents of shield 


49. Tattoos: I WANT SO MANY But I’m not old enough 


50. Right- or left-handed: right

FIRST:


51. Surgery: none 


52. Piercing: ear lobes


54. Sport: was on the swim team 


55. Vacation: cape cod 


56. Pair of trainers: hell if I remember

MORE GENERAL:


57. Eating: i do it… 


58. Drinking: I’m doing it with water at this moment 


59. I’m about to: see a super great friend’s concert she’s a singer in a chorus

 
61. Waiting for: c o m i c c o n 


62. Want: to hug my gf 


63. Get married: yea, just as soon as my gf buys me that blobfish plush toy I’m hers 


64. Career: I wanna do all the jobs

65. Hugs or kisses: both
66. Lips or eyes: both 


67. Shorter or taller: don’t care 


68. Older or younger: ehh 


69. Light or dark eyes: I like dark eyes but all eyes r good eyes 


70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I love all arms n stomachs 


71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive


72. Hookup or relationship: relationship 


73. Troublemaker or hesitant: impulsive lol

HAVE YOU EVER:


74. Kissed a stranger: no 


75. Drank hard liquor: I’m just a baby 


76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yeah ugh 


77. Turned someone down: lol too much 


78. Sex on first date: nooope 


79. Broken someone’s heart: I hope not!! 


80. Had your heart broken: yeah 

81. Been arrested: nope


82. Cried when someone died: this is uncomfortable but like I don’t cry when people die even if.. I know and love them a lot 


83. Fallen for a friend: my girlfriend

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:


84. Yourself: yeah I do 


85. Miracles: have u met my girlfriend 


86. Love at first sight: yeah but rare


87. Santa Claus: sure do not 


88. Kiss on the first date: I believe in CONSENT 


89. Angels: hmmmm

OTHER:


90. Current best friend’s name: Emily n Zoya n Sherry 


91. Eye color: dark brown


92. Favourite movie: captain america the winter soldier

i tag @iliveondaydreams

[lunchtimerushin]

More tag memes!!

Thank you guys, I love you aaa///

from @assassin-dragon

RULES: Tell who is your favorite character from 10 fictional works (Shows, Movies, Novels, Etc.) The order is irrelevant. x)

1. Syaoran (Li)/ Tsubasa Li; had a super crush on him in CCS when I was a kid, and now a super crush on him in TRC. weeps

2. Aomine Daiki (KNB); he’ll always be my son

3.  Kagami Taiga (KNB); the second son from the basuke manga

4. Akashi Seijuurou (KNB); the third adopted son

5. Kaitou Kid (Detective Conan); also a super mega crush on him when I was young lmao.

6. Megaman.exe/Rockman.exe; somehow my fave charas were those who I had crushes on when I was young weeps;;

7. Dan/ny Fent/om; oop mega crush right there lol

8. Conan Edogawa; he was also my son; small detective son.

9. Sakuraaaaaaaaaaaaa Kinomoto; I love her, what precious

10. Izuki Shun; I like him, he’s gr8. askjfhk;;

Tagged by @arcs-and-blah (thank you so much for remembering me!! You’re such an angel <3333 

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag other people

LAST…

[1] Drink: Green Tea

[2] Phone call: Auntie

[3] Text message: This store I buy bubble tea from x)

[4] Song you listened to: Game Grumps let’s play?

[5] Time you cried: a few days ago.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: No.

[7] Been cheated on: No.

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: Regret the entire thing honestly LOL;

[9] Lost someone special: Yes.

[10] Been depressed: Always.

[11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: _(:3; well...

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12]  red 

[13] gray

[14] the entire color wheel.

IN THE LAST YEAR…

[15] made new friends: Yes! ^Q^

[16] fallen out of love: Yep.

[17] laughed until you cried: laughed hard, but never cried. x);;;

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Yeah; not a pleasant feeling being salted against. ^_T!!

[19] met someone who changed you: Yep!

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yes! Though sadly distance. _(:3

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: lmfao, yea.

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them.

[23] do you have any pets: Nope!

[24] do you want to change your name: Sure. 

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: ...Uh...go to school.

[26] what time did you wake up: 6-7am.

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: drawing.

[28] name something you cannot wait for: MY MERCH HAUL~!!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: a few days ago.

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: just wanna get off this stupid rock. :’)

[31] what are you listening to right now: Silence and my keyboard typing.

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: 0: no.

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: people lecturing me even though they think it’s for my own good.

[34] most visited website: tweetdeck/twitter

[35] elementary: nonexistent

[36] high school: backstabbed

[37] college: listless

[38] hair color: black

[39] long or short hair: shoulder length.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: no.

[41] what do you like about yourself: diligent

[42] piercings: ears!

[43] blood type: I think O.

[44] nickname: kyun.

[45] relationship status: single and keeping it that way. x)

[46] zodiac sign: libra

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show: non anime would be… anything that has to do with detective or cool stuffs

[49] tattoos: none and I don’t plan to.

[50] right or left hand: right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: None!

[52] piercing: Ears when I was in Junior year of HS.

[53] best friend: never had one.

[54] sport: karate?

[55] vacation: brought back to China.

[56] pair of trainers: no idea what the heckie that is.

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: Green tea.

[59] I’m about to: draw or something.

[60] listening to: game grumps.

[61] waiting for: nothing

[62] want: energy to draw lol

[63] get married: to my tablet

[64] career: I just want to bum.

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs are the best; kisses---depends.

[66] lips or eyes: always the god-damned puppy eyes.

[67] shorter or taller: shorter is nice.

[68] older or younger: I get along better with older people.

[69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic.

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: need a good reference: arms. I love chub.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: both is fine as long as I’m not overly invested in it.

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, bc I need someone to keep my impulse in check.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger: no

[75] drank hard liquor: yes

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: lol yea

[77] turned someone down: many times

[78] sex on first date?: lmfao

[79] broken someone’s heart?: tried not to, but probably did.

[80] had your own heart broken?: yeah, many times.

[81] been arrested?: no

[82] cried when someone died?: of course.

[83] fallen for a friend?: always and unfortunately.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: yea

[85] miracles?: no

[86] love at first sight?: iunno, I like falling in love with friends first.

[87] Santa Claus?: no

[88] kiss on the first date?: no, kisses are way too important to me for this.

[89] angels?: probably.

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: wacom bamboo tablet (lmfao)

[91] eye color: dark brown.

[92] favorite movie: iunno...

<3

anyways, thanks for reading all of this if you did; anyways time to hibernate and get some energy back from today zz

[mihatrochael]

Very late Copenhagen Meetup recap

A lot of time passed since the Fannibal Meetup in Copenhagen - on the occasion of Doctor Strange premiere. I didn't write my part to that awesome event before, but I still have a feeling that I should do so 😊 It was so awesome experience - with great Fannibals and (of course) with Mads. Could be said that it was full of Fannibal miracles! Strong Fannibal magic... And I simply want to share it with other Fannibals, so...

I decided to go just a week or two before the premiere, so it was kinda impulsive decision. But I don't regret it. Thanks to Twitter DM group I found two other Fannibals - awesome Nienke & Momo - as roomies, bought Flixbus tickets and really soon my journey begun.

It was long way from Brno to Prague, from Prague to Berlin and from Berlin to Copenhagen. Although I had expected I'd be alone in buses, the opposite became true! Right on the first stop (Prague) I met Karis - a Bulgarian fan of Mads who was going the same way! Let's call it a Miracle no. 1: I was waiting for the bus and there were a few people around as usually at bus stops... Then two young women (who didn't know each other before) started talking about where they are from (the second one was from US btw) and where they were traveling... And then I heard the Bulgarian one saying that she's a big fan of Mads and is going to Copenhagen due the premiere! I was like: "What, you too???" 😄 And we started talking, she recognized my flower crown and antler jewelry as Fannibal symbols and we basically spent the rest of our way together, talking about Mads, watching Hannibal pics etc.

Later in Copenhagen we walked around the city and took some photos till the Imperial Cinema opened. There we picked up our tickets and waited inside for Nienke - one of my roomies (the one who booked our flat and put us together). And soon we found out is a nice person (as Fannibals use to be)... We brought our luggage to the flat and spent another part of the day walking around the city - till Momo (who's flight was a bit late) arrived. We all were happy to meet each other and after a few hours we finally went to the cinema to meet others from the DM group.

We arrived there a bit earlier so we got quite a good place in the queue. While waiting for them the Miracle no. 2 happened. A woman (Jessica) in the queue who had no idea about our Fannibal group saw my flower crown and her eyes lighted up by recognition. She came to me and asked me if we're Fannibals as she is - and yeah, we were! Since then she stayed with our group and met us again before the Mads’ talk next day.

Then, others finally found us. What happened next could be called a miracle as well but I would prefer another term now. It was definitely some Fannibal Magic because we were the only ones who: 1) did a cosplay - absolutely awesome Kaecilius created by Vivi 2) made the "first action figure" of Kaecilius - beautiful thing created by Sanni 3) had a letter for Mads with the Hannigram Star Certification Deed - yes, that was my work 😃. And of course, flower crowns! There is an official streaming video from the premiere and you can see our flowered heads all around in background!

So, we took a group photo and went inside. There we got some delicious catering, talked with each other... And then Mads arrived! Of course we talked to him! He promised us a group photo after the movie, took my letter, adored Vivi's cosplay and got the Kaecilius doll - with shining face he told and showed to all the "press people" around who made that beautiful "first action figure" for him (+ told them we're Fannibals). On all other pictures taken before the movie he has my letter and Sanni's tiny Kaecilius in his hands.

Besides Mads I met Karis again and also a one of Mads Japan fans group. And she recognized me as a Fannibal - again, thanks to the flower crown (we met again at RDC3, YAY!).

Okay, so we saw the movie. (Btw - before the film screening began, Mads - who sat in the highest row - went down to the stage and he chose stairs which led next to my seat! I swear he looked at me how I was looking at him 😆 And he smiled. There was a really limited choice of seats when I had made the reservation so let's call it the Miracle no. 3) A huge applause happened when Kaecilius appeared on the screen for the first time and we all agreed on that there are some suspicious scenes which remind us one unnamed cannibal  story. You know, scenes like this:

Or when almost the last Kaecilius' words were put into a question: "Isn't it beautiful?"

Oh, well... Fannibals know “It’s beautiful” :)

Later, after the movie, we were really excited about the promised photo. We were so excited that we had to go to pee before and meanwhile - unfortunately - Mads left the cinema... Only Karis was lucky enough to met him after the movie (and his brother and son... earlier that day). And btw, the Miracle no. 4, she told me that she has seen my letter in his bag! (now I only need to know if he read it 😊).

We waited for him outside (just to be sure) even when cinema staff locked all doors except one. Although we didn't get that photo, we saved some lost viewers who felt like in a trap when they found out that main doors are locked. We literally showed the way out to about 5-10 people. So no group photo with Mads that day but meh - we were looking forward to get it before/after the talk next day. And we got a big edification: No toilet next time 😆

We slept, had a breakfast and then went to see Mads again. Meanwhile, I shouldn't forget to mention a small Fannibal Miracle no. 5. On the way to / from our flat there was a strange art thing reminding the mirror dimension from Dr. Strange movie and - which I'm more excited about - a clothing store called Rude! *Winks at @weartherude*

That day we met others in front of the Grand Teatret where Mads’ movie talk took a place and which is also a filming location for another Mads’ movie. We took some photos outside and put some "Fannibals love Strange" bookmarks on a table inside. Japanese fans were there as well and together we waited for our beloved star... ...who arrived soon! Actually, the Japanese group saw him first but then we drag him inside and had a quick photo session in "our corner of the room" 😊

When he left us to prepare himself for the talk, we went inside the talk room and - although we didn't buy our tickets together - I got a place right next to Momo! (Was it a small miracle no. 6? 😉 Also, there were small hearts on tickets.). From the other side of me, two women who weren't Fannibals took places... But again, they noticed our flower crowns! Vivi had a lighting one (wow, what a modification! I'll probably try to create something like that, too 😊) - so they asked me if I have lights in mine as well 😄. We also talked about how they would love to meet Mads so I told them we already did and showed them my photos. They were so excited to meet him after the talk - but what a poor chance they had, right? 😉 (will continue)

Meanwhile, Mads went into the room and took his place on a stage. We were a bit sad that he was going to talk in Danish - but you know, Danish actor in Denmark... that's kinda understandable 😃 BUT! The big Miracle no. 7 happened (well, we could call it fate in this point but...)!

Suddenly, Mads started talking in English and was like: "Do you see all these people with flower crowns? They are traveling from around the whole world and they call themselves Fannibals, fans of Hannibal. I see them everywhere I'm going and I’m so greatful!" (or so, just listen to the video). That was nothing but WOW! And it really showed clearly the power and importance of flower crowns as our symbol (I'm so sad there were none when Mads arrived to Warsaw later that year). The rest of his talk continued in Danish - except some questions from audience (one or two were asked by another Fannibal out of our group). Whole talk video with subtitles is here: 1st, 2nd, 3rd part.

Then Mads said goodbye and went to the side exit. And what a surprise! Do you remember the two girls who were excited about our flower crowns and wished to meet Mads? The two who sat next to me and also at the end of the seats row? The row which has the side exit right aside? Yes! The Miracle no. 8 - Mads again walked very close to my seat and even more, these two women got their photo! Sounds good enough? Never enough! 😃 When Mads left, we Fannibals went out, too (after a while). We saw him walking away, not sure if follow him is a good idea. We didn't want to bother him but you know... Mads! 😄 And my friend (& RDC3 roomie - Gabi) asked me to bring her an autograph... So when Nienke said: "He's over there, let's go!" and everyone hesitantly moved forward, I just forget everything and ran to catch him for the last time. And I did it! I asked him if he could give me autographs for me and my friend...  Firstly he was like: "Sorry my friend, just one... I have some interviews and no time..." But then the Miracle no. 9 happened and I got both for me and for Gabi!

After that it seemed as a goodbye Mads and goodbye Fannibals as we all had to start our ways to home, soon or later that day. Yet, we stood at the corner where Mads disappeared, some of us bought a postcard with “Kaecilius origin” location (the Nyhavn Canal) and we thought about taking a last photo together. But even before some of us left the shop, Daniela noticed the official festival photographer walking around... She just asked him where we could find all his photos. And then, the Miracle no. 10 - the photographer was like: "Hey, you are the fans of Hannibal, right? Do you want a photo?" So hella yeah, we got an official photo on the festival FB page!

Later I got an unexpected compliment to my flower crown by waitress when I, Nienke and Jessica had lunch in a restaurant (location? “Kaecilius' Canal“).

After that they both had to go to catch their buses to home. Because my bus were leaving around midnight, I had the rest of the day to explore Copenhagen. I wanted to see the Little mermaid sculpture so I went there... On the way, there is a palace where a part of the Royal Affair movie had been filmed. So I went there, too, and surprise - I walked right into the Changing of the guard ceremony. We'll slightly go back to this...

During the walk, Copenhagen gave me a little plush heart (I found it on grass next to sidewalk). I think it's kinda cute and the heart went to my tiny Hannigram star plushie which was in Copenhagen with me 😊 Close enough to the mermaid I stopped on a bridge, wasn't sure were to go... And well, how far is Denmark from my little home country? Yet right next to me stood two women with a young child. They talked to each other - one of them in Czech, the second in Slovak (which is a very similar language).

I asked them and they showed me the right direction. So yay, I found the Little mermaid! But there was no miracle quite a long time, wasn't? Okay! While I was taking some photos the Miracle 11 happened - two unicorns appeared like from nowhere! Yeah, that's exactly what happened! Even more, these unicorns spoke Czech and I even spotted them before, during the guard ceremony. What coincidences all the day! So I asked them for permission and took some very rare photos of unicorns hugging the mermaid.

After this unexpected experience I slowly went back to the Central train station. But even in the end of the day there was a time for more awesome experiences. I saw the Roya Affair palace and the ceremony again, in “night lights”. And a few streets later I found this absolutely beautiful window of some antique store. Skulls basically dragged my eyes but sadly, it was already closed.

And as I was looking at a locked door the 12th Miracle came to me. There were three (or so) doorsteps and in the middle of them… tum tum tum - Dante’s Divine Comedy. A complete hardcover book. Even more, the book I found on stairs in Denmark is written in Italian, released in Rome, Italy. If you still aren’t sure then yes, it’s that author whom Hannibal recites in the beggining of Season 3 and also the book he has an lecture about a bit later. I’m sure there is no need to explain how really low chance for this to happen I had - yet here I’m, with the Divina Commedia in my hands. It still amazes myself. Just WOW.

In comparission this is nothing big, but look what I found on a bridge (I’m not sure but it could be the Kaecilius’ canal again):

Later, back under the Central station roof, I bought a newspaper with Mads interview and the Euroman magazine with Mads on its cover, you know. As I was sitting there and waiting for my bus it felt too long… So, the Miracle no. 13 - someone called me by name, I raised my eyes aaand… Momo (we met again at RDC3 <3 ). My roomie who decided to leave Copenhagen a day later so she had found another room for the last night. And just like that, by the way, she walked around me... why not, right? 😃 We talked a while, then I somehow spent the rest of time and went to the bus stop.

And because this post is already long enough, let's finish it with a Miracle no. 14. On the bus stop I met two Fannibals of our group - Daniela and Jo. And a bit later, Karis found me as well. We traveled together to Berlin and that's it - my Copenhagen story ends here.

In the very end I would like to point out this:

Miracles are happening and Fannibal Magic is real & mighty 😊 And flower crowns are really a necessary part of it! (believe me, I wore my one all the time during these awesome days 😃)

[holisticpassport]

The Path to Perth.

I’m actually being semi decent about posting weekly updates! It helps when the events that are happening are positive because I want to share as opposed to dreading writing about negative things that I don’t want to remind myself about. Let’s start with work!

I started work at Five66 Café on Flinders Street (the main street downtown across from the central train station). It’s a cute little café ran by an Indian family that’s conveniently located in front of a tour group departure meetup point, so I meet people from all over the world every shift! The 6am wakeup time was brutal the first week but my body is finally used to it… too used to it because now I wake up every day at 6am instead of just the 3 days I need to. Oh well. I kind of do a bit of everything there, but focus on the coffees. I was doing a pretty crap job my first day, but woman I work with took the time to show me how to properly froth milk for each type of coffee so I feel much better about it now. Only thing is the pay is SO low. Like illegally low that I can make the same amount of money in half the time at my waitress job. I work hard and put in the hours if I feel valued as an employee, and making $13 an hour (when the minimum is supposed to be $20), I’m not sure I can stay at it for very long-- will be searching for something else. My waitress gig is going well though. Feel like I can handle the fast paced work now, and I love the girls I work with! Wish I could get more hours there. They’re closed this week for renovations, but I’m getting some cocktail training today so that should be fun.

Life at the hostel is pretty good. The staff are getting to know me, the social vibe is awesome, there’s always stuff to do every night at the basement bar, a movie room to chill out in, and all of my roomies have been quiet and respectful. I was on a top bunk for a week right next to the door, so every time it opened the light from the hall would wake me up. I haven’t been getting a lot of deep sleep. I’ve felt it too because I’m on the verge of being sick, but that’s also because I haven’t been eating healthy, started drinking again because I’m in that social vibe, and being really active. I’ll work on getting my health back in check this week.

Over the weekend, I worked Wednesday through Sunday 10-12 hours each day and the military guy I met at the pub crawl came back to town so we could attend White Night together (a cultural/art festival that goes from 7am to 7pm with the whole downtown area participating). I certainly regretted staying out until 4am with work at 7am, but still had a lot of fun. And as far as the guy goes, nothing could come from it because he was moving to Cairns (hella far North), but people come into your life for a reason. A friend of mine said the people we meet are mirrors; they show the most present/relevant part of ourselves right now. I think I met him because I’ve finally begun to enjoy who I am and in turn found someone who equally enjoyed those parts about me that I used to think were crazy like being obsessed with Harry Potter, eating raw cookie dough, and aspiring to live a life like Alexander Supertramp (aka Into the Wild guy). If nothing else, I have memories of Spanish dancing, making a pact to make the next 10 years of our lives the best yet, and 5am tram rides talking about politics, open relationships, and playing guitar for each other. White Night consisted of going back to the creepy hospital bar (which I finally learned is called The Croft Institute), watching a live swing band and dancers perform, eating drunken sushi, and observing a light show on the walls of Finders Station.

On Monday night, the hostel was hosting bingo karaoke (karaoke songs on the sheets and when he plays them, if you knew the lyrics you could sing it to get a free shot). Well you all know me and singing…. So that was a fun night. But went to bed at midnight because I had an early rise for some adventures the next day at 8am with a group of 4 other people to the Grampians National Park. It’s about a three-hour drive west of Melbourne, and it was the most perfect temperature, clear day we could have asked for. We stopped off at Boruka viewing cliff, The Balconies, and McKenzie Waterfalls. This was by far the most beautiful place I’ve probably ever seen in my life. I wish we could have stayed for a sunset. I will hopefully get back there again before I leave AU.

Speaking of leaving AU, because I’m embracing this whole living week by week thing, my mind is swirling with ideas of where to go next and what to ultimately do. I’m really aiming for farm work (as I made a connection with a girl on that trip), and can make the money I need in order to be able to go back to Europe this summer. I also don’t want to stay at this café job which will cut my money down in half, and I can’t afford to stay at this hostel anymore. So need to make some moves! I could wait it out another month and do the prawn ship thing, but I don’t know if that offer is still on the table.

On Wednesday I went out to Leonard’s House of Love (no, it’s not what you think). It’s a quirky hipster dive bar off a main street with cheap beers, and I chatted with a girl from work after cocktail training. We talked everything and anything (I’m sensing a common theme with politics when I start drinking… I must be passionate about it or something). Then I went to my old host’s house for dinner to see the kids again since I didn’t them before I moved out, and it was lovely.  

 **Update 2 days later** I quit the café because it was already bumming me out and the pay just wasn’t worth it. In doing so, it gave me the whole week off because of renovations at the restaurant. I had some time to organize my bags, get rid of stuff, grab a coffee/go for a swim with a friend, and really think about my next moves. Because I’ve done so much in and around the surrounding area of Melbourne except Wilsons Prom, I feel like I’ve seen what I wanted to and gotten what I needed out of my time here. There’s just been a gnawing feeling that it’s time to move on and begin elsewhere. I thought about going up to Sydney to see some friends, do some sight-seeing and try to find farm work up there. I was about to book a flight/care rental, but intuition said that specific place wasn’t right. But I did still need to go somewhere else. I woke up this morning and received an offer for farm work in Shepparton, but the pay was even more abysmal than the café! Then I ran across a posting on a Facebook page for people new Melbourne, and there was a hippy bus leaving on Tuesday for a 4 week trip to Perth (Western Australia). My stomach began fluttering with butterflies and I knew that was it. I wrote to them to see if they had any more seats available, they did, and I booked my spot. I’ve really been embracing the impulsive Aries side of me because the battle with the practical Taurus side of me was getting old and everyone has an opinion, but in the end it’s my life. A lot of people don’t listen to their intuition and just TRUST that everything is going to work out how it’s supposed to. I don’t think I’ve ever been genuinely happier in my life now that I’m past all the bullshit and it’s because I’ve put an emphasis on relying upon myself for happiness; my newest motto is “if you aren’t absolutely obsessed with your life, then change it”.  Ironically I’m financially the poorest I’ve ever been, but money is just money. Some are enslaved by it and others believe our government is going to fall apart any second so it wont matter anyway (Or just wishful thinking so I don’t have to pay back student loans. It’s good to dream.) Today, I’m buying a tent and sleeping bag, selling a ton of clothes, and also getting ready for my final trip tomorrow… to Wilsons Prom!

[chapterxxv]

53-minute catch up

Saturday: my planned Valentine’s day celebration for myself. Was a super success. Sleep-deprived but easy drive to Chicago (satisfying my recent desire to drive fast, blast my music, and feel the wind in my face because of the temporarily-improved weather, though my windows stayed down this morning.) Picked up Oscar for breakfast at a fancy, delicious place (Stax Cafe) and he bought me and Kelly flowers! <3 he insisted on buying breakfast (tried lavender lemon pancakes!--not bad.) And our conversation was just what I needed. (I was already leaning towards not bringing Kelly because last time she kept talking about herself so I didn’t get to connect with Oscar, and this week, she was already very much immersed in her own world--not a great sign. The unfortunate circumstances (working back-to-back and then spending the day after her shift taking care of Ethan at the hospital after he attempted suicide D:) prevented her from joining.) I really needed someone impartial and collected to hear me out on my career-life choices, so Oscar and I discussed this big aspect in my life pretty much the entire time. And when I shared about struggling with not reaching out to Eric, he was the sweetest, offering I message him instead and he will buy me shit haha. He even offered to buy me a flight to CA. It was a shared conversation--hearing about his work/life experiences and choices and reasoning and aspirations. I also really need to get my headspace out of just me, me, me. And it was perfect. To get to just be and share yourself, understanding there is no comparison to be made. Just to care for one another. Oscar, I don’t think you know how much you provide for me. Thank you. After breakfast, I went to DSW since I’ve been wanting a pair of booties (they’re a staple in any place where you can’t just wear flip-flops all year round xD) ever since borrowing Kelly’s suuuper cute pair! Well, I didn’t find exactly what I wanted. But I left with a very comfortable--Dr. Scholl’s--pair for everyday and a sexier, thin-heeled pair for going out! Then I went to pick up Kelly; got to see Ethan in passing. His face showed signs of asphyxiation and when I asked what happened, he said that his friend choked him and it was a long story and he would tell me the whole thing when I got back. Later Kelly explained that Ethan was being bullied at school and had a suicidal ideation and attempted to jump out of his window and his friend caught him in a headlock--hence the asphyxiation. Kelly and I went to my tattoo appointment with Emily at Metamorph. I enjoy her work and my first thought upon meeting her was she’s cute. I know I wasn’t the easiest client but she was fantastic in making suggestions, getting to understand what I was looking for, and ultimately executing it. I love my tat. Then Kelly and I hung out next door at Wormhole Coffee until our nail appointment. Our wait there was tedious but my nail tech was nice--clearly very busy, running the show, one of the better techs, and relatively-conversational. I am also really enjoying how my nails look. It started snowing, so I dropped Kelly off and got to partake in many warm hugs with Serina and Kelly before taking off. They’re just practically family to me and I love them. I am so fortunate. Driving home was rough with the weather, extra-dumb drivers, and the exhaustion hitting hardcore. I made it home and decided against going out to the guys’ birthday bash (I really miss them and it would’ve been super fun), and instead went to bed before 9pm. I needed this. It was excellent. No regrets.

Thursday: sucked ass. Chronologically, things started going downhill fast the night before. V-day was fine, I was happy to be single for once and enjoyed the experience--almost valuing the holiday more than usual. But as evening rolls around, somehow I get this intense impulse to message Eric. Well, I think this when I last posted. So you get the gist. It sucked. I couldn’t fall asleep until midnight because I was emotionally distressed. So Thursday started off with physical and emotional fatigue. Morning was fine but off-routine. I got my oil changed and attended a faculty candidate talk. Sayan messaged me midday to say he couldn’t make our regular meeting Friday, so we agreed to meet around 2ish. He was late. While waiting for him, I was chatting with Beef and Jenifer. Beef invited me to join him and Will for a Udacity ML course. I was down but wanted to make sure it wasn’t something requiring a commitment. His response was terrible. It was harsh, and I confronted him about it. He never owned up nor seemed to really hear me out nor respect/take seriously my feelings and values here. I will attach the conversation later. Sayan showed up at almost 3pm, even though I told him I had something at 3pm. He had a lot to say too. And early on he slipped into “You should stay this summer, I know you’re looking at internships.” I was going to bring this up eventually but we were talking about research, and so I told him about Aerospace. Then it went into a longer discussion. And then back to research, bigger picture type stuff. So it was heavy, stressful, and a lot of pushback involved. I ran out of that around 3:15. To meet with a postdoc at Hammerhead. I felt so bad for being this late to meet with a stranger and thought he gave up on waiting when I got there and he was nowhere to be seen for at least 5 minutes. I thought we’d talk about research ideas. But he kept asking career-related questions that were more personal and never went into any detail about his work. I also felt bad because I had a meeting at 3:45pm for CSLSC (which was only 15 min early per my suggestion because I couldn’t stay for the entire 4pm meeting because I was meeting Meredith at 4:30pm.) Needless to say, I was late for CSLSC. While walking back to CSL with postdoc, he asked to get dinner and hangout and I gave him the benefit of the doubt, saying I’d be open to that but definitely not anytime soon because I’m too busy. And he caught me off guard asking if I had a boyfriend or something. *facepalm* I’m ashamed I choked out a funny yes. But I did follow up saying, I’d be down to hangout but as colleagues. Him: “okay great, yes, as friends” *facepalm* At CSLSC meeting, things quickly escalated between James and I (probably in 5minutes?). He snapped at me, “you don’t need to tell me all the things you’re not going to do.” He shouldn’t have been angry but I acknowledge I was not delivering my no’s well either. I allowed my growing frustration/annoyance with the team to taint my professionalism. I was still right to make clear my needs and my availability--it is unfair to be given work so last minute and unorganized requests and flip-flopping requests frequently, and I am too busy to accommodate all of this. I did a poor job of trying to ask them to collect all the info at once so I could take care of it more efficiently/effectively. But like I said, it escalated quickly. A few minutes later (after he and Tarek just asked me to change something, I did it, only to get the other one saying they wanted it the other way <-- prime example of the BS I have to deal with), in pointing this out, James basically yelled at me (at this point in front of a dozen other people) that yes things are stressful and constantly changing, the conference is NEXT WEEK, we’re all stressed, can you handle this Nicole? Can you do this? Yeah. I wanted to slap him, say fuck you I’m done with your bullshit, and walk out. I took a couple seconds to stay calm, look him dead in the eyes, and say yes. I can. I will get this done. And I will, I will work out this upcoming week. Then I fast-walked to Bene to meet Meredith. Of course she wanted to talk about us taking over GradSWE/weSTEM next year. It was fine. It was the last thing I wanted to think about or commit too. I told her the stance I had already developed. We walked to Galentine’s together. I didn’t really want to go anymore after feeling so shitty. But I did and fortunately it was just us and Steph and she brought soooo many deliciousss goodies. I stuffed my face with 2 plates full of sugar. I was fine with staying because I didn’t have to put up a fake wall. Meredith left for SWE GM, and it was just us and Sam and Megan. Also supes chill. They gently opened up the space to vent--which I desperately needed and was looking for already. I ended up crying when I described the CSLSC meeting. Fucking hell. But sooooo grateful for them listening and then comforting me and then sharing their own views/experiences. And then eventually talking about other people again--thank God. Again I don’t want to focus on me all the fucking time. I went to the gym after that and felt a little better. Spencer was kind enough to offer an ear to listen. I ended up meeting up with him and his friends at Barrelhouse for Hannah’s birthday (saw Steph again there--more cupcakes!) So I didn’t get to bed until nearly midnight again. Emil also texted me that Brian shared I was having a hard day and wanted to make sure I was okay. Thanks friends <3