#i have no idea what it is though I’ll need to research the name is in Japanese

[yoohyeon]

My little cousin asked for mangas for her birthday, I’m a proud godmother 😌

[bringthekaos]

I'm excited for your thoughts on the new season if/when you share them

It has legit taken me 3 days to come to terms with Act 1. Enough to be able to speak about it. Gunna apologize in advance for the wall of text, and I’m hiding it under a break for spoiler reasons. Also prefacing with these are all just my opinions. All are free to disagree with me and RB with discussions/theories etc. just don’t be a dick about it, I’m not engaging in any discourse.

Ok. So. I have mixed feelings, and I’m aware that this is because I don’t have the whole story yet. So this is all contingent on how the rest of the season plays out.

First and foremost, I’m… wildly swinging back and forth between love and disappointment for Viktor’s arc. So first the negative, and I’ll try to keep it brief because a lot of people have already expressed this and I don’t need to be beating that particular dead horse.

Viktor has had his agency, his bodily autonomy, his original ideas and nearly everything that made him Viktor stripped away. Nothing so far has been his choice. And while this could have worked just fine for an original character, he wasn’t. So there is a massive disconnect between what this character was/should have been. In League, it was all his choice (albeit with a healthy dose of mental illness thrown in, but still). AND it was very heavily suggested that many of the augmentations he performed weren’t as extensive as he lead everyone to believe (namely the controlling/dousing of his emotions). But it appears that whatever the Hexcore did to him, it’s real. He is clearly having a difficult time accessing his emotions, and if he can feel anything, it is limited to the point of him being completely stoic. And the thing with stoic characters is that you obliterate any emotional payoff for the audience. It’s very hard to make an audience feel an emotional connection to a character’s story arc when they themselves don’t feel anything (I have a theory about this though, but I’ll address it a little later in this post). And then there is the issue of Blitzcrank. Blitz was Viktor’s whole world, after his exile. How are they going to swing that? Like, I’m not even asking for Blitz to be in Arcane (that would be great, but I really don’t think they have time). But I stg if they take Blitz away from Viktor, make them someone else’s invention (my suspicion is Heimer or he finds the idea in Sky’s journal)… I’m sorry but no. This was Viktor’s idea, Viktor’s genius. I will genuinely be extremely upset if they take that from him too.

Then there is the whole situation with Sky. First, this girl was fridged. She was nothing but a plot device and continues to be just that. It feels hollow and forced, especially now that he’s hallucinating her as some sort of penance for what he did. (I have seen the prevalent theory that it’s the Hexcore using her image and his guilt to manipulate him, given that it “ate” her, and we have seen it “manipulate” him before when it punished him for trying to destroy it). But back to Sky—he barely acknowledged that poor girl. The reason for that can be argued, whether it’s because he’s gay or because he was just so wrapped up in his one-track minded research. But regardless, there just wasn’t enough setup between those two for this whole thing to have as much weight and meaning as I think it’s supposed to. Honestly to me (TO ME) it reeks of comphet. It feels like that random woman they threw at Poe Dameron to No Homo him. I’m not even asking for Jayvik canon. But the creators were well aware of this ship, after all it’s the second most popular ship in this show and it’s been around since 2012 when Jayce was literally created for Viktor. I’m asking for the bare minimum here—that it’s left open-ended as it was in League, open for interpretation.

Last negative I have is the whole Viktor Jesus thing. The first problem is I am pretty violently agnostic, and messiah narratives have never spoken to me. I don’t enjoy them, they feel weak. The whole “ordained by a higher power” thing is just… stale. Especially when this character originally had no higher power, he gave it to himself through his own hard work and ingenuity. Honestly, Viktor’s original arc is about as far from a Jesus allegory as you can possibly get. And I am absolutely terrified that they’re going to end said Jesus arc the way you’d expect—with him dying for it. Which leaves the moral of his story “disabled man should have just accepted that he was going to die despite the fact that it was the oppression and xenophobia of Piltover that left him out to dry, without proper health care, accessibility, equality, or equity that lead to his terminal diagnosis to begin with.” Which is a very oppressor-centric narrative and we do not need another one of those.

Sorry, I know I said I’d keep the negatives brief, and that was… not. My bad. But moving on!

I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, I did. I am working to embrace this new Viktor narrative and work it into my brain in a way that doesn’t ruin the ship for me. So without further ado, the positives.

Jayce.

Jayce.

Jayce.

I’d have to go back and time it, but it feels like he got more screen time in this first act than the entirety of the first season combined, and his character shined for it. It humanized him in ways season one never did. He’s caring, he’s devoted, and he loved Viktor! No matter what kind of love you think it is, it proves he loved Viktor without a doubt. He carried Viktor several city blocks to the lab to save him, and then YES, he broke his promise about the Hexcore because he couldn’t stand the thought of losing him!

And he’s funny! (The scene where he picks up the regular sized hammer in the fight against Renni and made that “this is ironic” face?? And then basically the entire interaction with Ekko? The hand me a tome thing, and then when he basically pulled this when Ekko suggested “so this is all your fault cuz you pissed off the Arcane”:

GOD that shit was great. Jayce’s personality just shined, and maybe it’s too much to hope, but maybe this will douse a little of the hate. Because instead of being a subtle hint at all of those things being true about him, it’s now overt. And when people lack media literacy, the hints have to be overt.

And th-the. The h. The HUG SCENE. I don’t think I will ever emotionally recover from that scene. Starting with Viktor who, despite being clearly emotionally—I dunno, vacant I guess—sounded so lost and scared when he said “what am I?” For me, it was whispers of that scene from The Last Unicorn: “what have you done to me?” And my poor sweet Jayce, who clearly hasn’t left this damn lab except to go to Cassandra’s memorial. Sleeping on the desk and bleeding through his bandages because he doesn’t want to spend a moment away from Viktor while he “recovers.” And his euphoric response when he finds Viktor alive, when he realizes he hasn’t lost him. And I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY, goddamn. I said in a post that “Jayce will not understand.” I thought that was how Arcane was gunna start the divorce. But Jayce genuinely did not care, as long as his lover friend was alive. And just… Jayce being so affectionate through this entire scene. The hug obviously, but also blurting things he thought he’d never get to say to Viktor—“I’m resigning from the council, my place was always here in the lab with you.”

And… the hug itself. I know we’re all analyzing it frame by goddamn frame, but I see exactly what everyone else sees—there is a moment where Viktor very subtly smiles. But it’s gone in an instant, and it turns bittersweet. LOOK AT HIM.

There is something there, it’s just buried. Deep beneath the surface. It seems to say “I want this, I have wanted this for so long.” But then he realizes something, something I don’t think we’re meant to understand yet. Maybe that he doesn’t feel anything about it anymore, and he recognizes that this should upset him and it doesn’t. Or perhaps it’s something more along the lines of “it’s too late.” Whatever it is, I think this is the exact moment he knows he has to walk away. Because he knows he’ll cave to the affection, he said it himself. (Which is another thing entirely. His voice changes when he says that. Something in him is reacting to that word. Maybe he’s fighting against it, or maybe he’s fighting to get it back. But something made him almost growl that word.)

Which leads me to my final thought (for this post anyway, cuz it’s turning into a novel); Viktor is still in there. He can still feel things, I just think they’re extremely muted by whatever the Hexcore did/continues to do to him, or he has to fight to express them. Because he also smiled at the hallucination of Sky after he “cured” Huck. And if he feels nothing, he wouldn’t have been “joyous” at the thought of her being proud of him, approving of the good things he’s trying to do in her memory. He wouldn’t crave that validation, that vindication from her. So I’m hopeful that we start to see this shell crack a little, especially if those visions of Sky are the Hexcore manipulating him through guilt. It will start to erode him, no matter how stoic he has become. And literally the only thing I’m clinging to is that Jayce will see this and try to pull him out. “He’s still in there and I have to save him.” And that maybe it’ll start to work.

[writingwithcolor]

Sri Lankan Fairies and Senegalese Goddesses: Mixing Mythology as a Mixed Creator

[Note: this archive ask was submitted before the Masterpost rules took effect in 2023. The ask has been abridged for clarity.]

@reydjarinkenobi asked:

Hi, I’m half Sri Lankan/half white Australian, second gen immigrant though my mum moved when she was a kid. My main character for my story is a mixed demigod/fae. [...] Her bio mum is essentially a Scottish/Sri Lankan fairy and her other bio mum (goddess) is a goddess of my own creation, Nettamaar, who’s name is derived from [...] Wolof words [...]. The community of mages that she presided over is from the South Eastern region of Senegal [...] In the beginning years of European imperialism, the goddess basically protected them through magic and by blessing a set of triplets effectively cutting them off from the outside world for a few centuries [...] I was unable to find a goddess that fit the story I wanted to tell [...] and also couldn’t find much information on the internet for local gods, which is why I have created my own. I know that the gods in Hinduism do sort of fit into [the story] but my Sri Lankan side is Christian and I don’t feel comfortable representing the Hindu gods in the way that I will be this goddess [...]. I wanted to know if any aspect of the community’s history is problematic as well as if I should continue looking further to try and find an African deity that matched my narrative needs? I was also worried that having a mixed main character who’s specifically half black would present problems as I can’t truly understand the black experience. I plan on getting mixed and black sensitivity readers once I finish my drafts [...] I do take jabs at white supremacy and imperialism and I I am planning to reflect my feelings of growing up not immersed in your own culture and feeling overwhelmed with what you don’t know when you get older [...]. I’m sorry for the long ask but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about writing and I’m quite worried about my story coming across as insensitive or problematic because of cultural history that I am not educated enough in.

Reconciliation Requires Research

First off: how close is this world’s history to our own, omitting the magic? If you’re aiming for it to be essentially parallel, I would keep in mind that Senegal was affected by the spread of Islam before the Europeans arrived, and most people there are Muslim, albeit with Wolof and other influences. 

About your Scottish/Sri Lankan fairy character: I’ll point you to this previous post on Magical humanoid worldbuilding, Desi fairies as well as this previous post on Characterization for South Asian-coded characters for some of our commentary on South Asian ‘fae’. Since she is also Scottish, the concept can tie back to the Celtic ideas of the fae.

However, reconciliation of both sides of her background can be tricky. Do you plan on including specific Sri Lankan mythos into her heritage? I would tread carefully with it, if you plan to do so. Not every polytheistic culture will have similar analogues that you can pull from.

To put it plainly, if you’re worried about not knowing enough of the cultural histories, seek out people who have those backgrounds and talk to them about it. Do your research thoroughly: find resources that come from those cultures and read carefully about the mythos that you plan to incorporate. Look for specificity when you reach out to sensitivity readers and try to find sources that go beyond a surface-level analysis of the cultures you’re looking to portray. 

~ Abhaya

I see you are drawing on Gaelic lore for your storytelling. Abhaya has given you good links to discussions we’ve had at WWC and the potential blindspots in assuming, relative to monotheistic religions like Christianity, that all polytheistic and pluralistic lore is similar to Gaelic folklore. Fae are one kind of folklore. There are many others. Consider:

Is it compatible? Are Fae compatible with the Senegalese folklore you are utilizing? 

Is it specific? What ethnic/religious groups in Senegal are you drawing from? 

Is it suitable? Are there more appropriate cultures for the type of lore you wish to create?

Remember, Senegalese is a national designation, not an ethnic one, and certainly not a designation that will inform you with respect to religious traditions. But more importantly:

...Research Requires Reconciliation

My question is why choose Senegal when your own heritage offers so much room for exploration? This isn’t to say I believe a half Sri-Lankan person shouldn’t utilize Senegalese folklore in their coding or vice-versa, but, to put it bluntly, you don’t seem very comfortable with your heritage. Religions can change, but not everything cultural changes when this happens. I think your relationship with your mother’s side’s culture offers valuable insight to how to tackle the above, and I’ll explain why.  

I myself am biracial and bicultural, and I had to know a lot about my own background before I was confident using other cultures in my writing. I had to understand my own identity—what elements from my background I wished to prioritize and what I wished to jettison. Only then was I able to think about how my work would resonate with a person from the relevant background, what to be mindful of, and where my blindspots would interfere. 

I echo Abhaya’s recommendation for much, much more research, but also include my own personal recommendation for greater self-exploration. I strongly believe the better one knows oneself, the better they can create. It is presumptuous for me to assume, but your ask’s phrasing, the outlined plot and its themes all convey a lack of confidence in your mixed identity that may interfere with confidence when researching and world-building. I’m not saying give up on this story, but if anxiety on respectful representation is a large barrier for you at the moment, this story may be a good candidate for a personal project to keep to yourself until you feel more ready.

(See similar asker concerns here: Running Commentary: What is “ok to do” in Mixed-Culture Supernatural Fiction, here: Representing Biracial Black South American Experiences and here: Am I fetishizing my Japanese character?)

- Marika.

Start More Freely with Easy Mode

Question: Why not make a complete high-fantasy universe, with no need of establishing clear real-world parallels in the text? It gives you plenty of leg room to incorporate pluralistic, multicultural mythos + folklore into the same story without excessive sweating about historically accurate worldbuilding.

It's not a *foolproof* method; even subtly coded multicultural fantasy societies like Avatar or the Grishaverse exhibit certain harmful tropes. I also don't know if you are aiming for low vs high fantasy, or the degree of your reliance on real world culture / religion / identity cues.

But don't you think it's far easier for this fantasy project to not have the additional burden of historical accuracy in the worldbuilding? Not only because I agree with Mod Marika that perhaps you seem hesitant about the identity aspect, but because your WIP idea can include themes of othering and cultural belonging (and yes, even jabs at supremacist institutions) in an original fantasy universe too. I don't think I would mind if I saw a couple of cultural markers of a Mughal Era India-inspired society without getting a full rundown of their agricultural practices, social conventions and tax systems, lol.

Mod Abhaya has provided a few good resources about what *not* to do when drawing heavily from cultural coding. With that at hand, I don't think your project should be a problem if you simply make it an alternate universe like Etheria (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power), Inys (The Priory of the Orange Tree) or Earthsea (the Earthsea series, Ursula K. Le Guin). Mind you, we can trace the analogues to each universe, but there is a lot of freedom to maneuver as you wish when incorporating identities in original fantasy. And of course, multiple sensitivity readers are a must! Wishing you the best for the project.

- Mod Mimi

[justmeinadaze]

Inescapable: Letters (Steddie X You)

A/N: I give you treat my dear friends. A glimpse into inmate Steddie. I'm going to write a full story but for some reason the idea of them writing back and forth burned into my brain. Think of this as a prequel so to speak.

Enjoy!

Warnings: Older (Early 30s) Prisoner Steddie & Young (Early 20s) Fem college student Y/N, Everything is in letter format. Mentions of smut, some dirty talk, angst (because I'm me), both men were convicted even though they are innocent, near the end we get some glimpses of toxic behavior, Jealous Steddie <3, cliffhanger esc ending.

Word Count: 2918

"You can build a prison of stone and steel, but you merely present the prisoner with a challenge. Any truly determined man will find a way out but love, love is the perfect prison. Inescapable."-- Wilson Fisk (Daredevil)

July 1996

Mr. Munson and Mr. Harrington, 

I know you don’t know me but my name is Y/N Y/L/N and I’m a student here at Hawkins University. I’m supposed to be doing a project for my criminal justice class and with your permission I’d like to do it on you. 

I’m working towards getting my law degree and so many kids in my class are doing theirs on people like Bundy or Gacy. How does that help teach them? I’ve done research on your case and I feel like you both are innocent. Add in the fact that the judge wanted to make “an example” out of you two… it’s ridiculous. 

Neither of you had a prior history of violence and Mr. Harrington, your parents are prominent members of Hawkins! UGH! I just don’t get it. 

Sorry. I went off on a bit of a tangent there… I just hate how you both were treated. 

If you don’t want me to utilize your case for my class I’ll completely understand. If you don’t respond I’ll take that as a no as well. 

Thank you,

--Y/N.

################

July 1996,

Sweetheart,

You have no idea how good it made us feel to have someone reach out to us, let alone agree that we are innocent. Society forgot about us a while ago but thankfully Steve and I have each other. 

And now you we hope : ). 

We have no problem with you doing your project on our case. What do you need from us? Details I imagine but what else? Are we allowed to know more about you? We know your name is Y/N, you’re a law student, and judging by the intoxicating scent that wafted when we opened your letter you smell really fucking good. 

Please feel free to be open with us.  We’re nice guys we swear.

-Eddie

Y/N,

I hope Eddie didn’t come off too strong with his letter. I told him we need to be respectful but like he said people kind of forgot about us. It’s nice to feel appreciated. 

We have no problem with you using us on your project and you don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to. I understand that talking to someone in our circumstances can be a bit scary especially for a young lady like you. 

Are you only going to be speaking with us or do you need to talk to our families to? My parents gave up on me after I was found guilty so they probably won’t be much help. Eddie’s uncle Wayne Munson is a nice guy. You can tell him we sent you and he’ll answer your questions. We also have some friends people who were around the time we were arrested who can help to. 

We look forward to hearing from you, 

-Steve

P.S. You can call us Steve and Eddie. We already feel old enough : )

####################

July 1996

Eddie & Steve, 

Thank you so much! You have no idea how important this is to me. I don’t just want to do this for my class but I’d like to use this case for my graduation project as well. But we don’t have to think about that now. I barely like to think that far ahead so I use the excuse of that is two years away. 

Eddie didn’t come on too strong : ).

I AM a law student and a sophomore at Hawkins U. I’ll be 21 in a few months so I can finally move up to being a bartender at the restaurant I work at. College is expensive but soon it will be worth it. I’m attaching a picture with the letter just so you have an image of who you’re talking to. 

Growing up I heard all about you two. Hawkins High used to have your Hellfire Club, Eddie, but they disbanded it a couple of years before I graduated. The parents said they didn’t think it was right for their kids to belong to a club created by someone such as yourself. Since Dustin Henderson wasn’t there to advocate for you guys anymore…

I don’t have to reach out or talk to anyone you don’t want me to. I know most of the people involved in your case aren’t even in Hawkins anymore. 

I’m so sorry. It must be hard having everyone you know disappear. 

My parents aren’t exactly fans of my chosen profession. My mom hates lawyers since her divorce lawyer wasn’t able to get her more alimony from my father and my dad is cop so enough said hahaha!

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months. He’s a film major and keeps begging me to allow him to do an interview with you two. I keep telling him no. You’re people not circus animals. 

Let’s start with you two telling me whatever makes you comfortable in regard to your case!

-Y/N

####################

December 1996,

Sweetheart,

Merry Christmas! 

Did Wayne give you the presents we bought you? My uncle said it’s important for college girls especially soon to be lawyers to have tape recorders. I’d love to hear if you liked it and if you can use it in your classes. 

It’s been a couple of days since you called. I hope everything is alright. We miss the sound of your voice…

Y/N, I know I can come off a bit forward but I hope I didn’t scare you away by talking to you the way I did during our last conversation. I can’t help it, you know? You’re just so gorgeous and you’ve been so good to us that my brain promptly goes into flirtation mode. 

Anyway, yeah, I want to hear how your Christmas went and if Derek’s family was good to you.

-Eddie

Honey, 

Merry Christmas! 

Ed forgot to mention that we did get your gifts and are incredibly thankful for the books. Since I was arrested I’ve opened my mind when it comes to reading and Munson’s fantasy books at least take me away mentally to a different world. 

He’s right by the way… you are incredibly beautiful. 

Would you be open to seeing us in person? 

Just a nice friendly visit where we can talk about your project and get to know you more. 

If not we completely understand.

-Steve

##########################

February 1997

Eddie & Steve, 

I’m sorry I haven’t come by or answered the phone. After our last visit, I just…

I love Derek but I care about you both so much. When you kissed me We have to keep this professional. Not just because of my boyfriend but because I’m studying to be a lawyer. How would it look if I fell in love started a relationship with inmates I’m working with?

Please understand.

-Y/N

#######################

February 1997

Sweetheart,

We understand but you have to also understand that we’ve never met anyone like you. You’re so kind and beautiful. You listen to what we have to say and actually care about us. I can still feel your lips against mine and nothing in my life has ever tasted as sweet. 

Can you still feel me, princess?

For the first time in almost 11 years, I actually have some hope. 

Does he make you feel like we do, honey? Your heavy breath against my mouth when I kissed you tells me no. I know we’re trapped here for the next 14 years but, baby, we can still take care of you. We just have to be a bit imaginative with certain things but….

No one has to know, baby, not even Derek. 

-Steve & Eddie

#######################

February 1997

Baby, 

Fuck, sweetheart, you have no idea how hearing you touch yourself over the phone got us going. If we could have private phones we would have stroked our cocks for you so you could hear how much you turn us on.

I can still hear your heavy pants in my ear while you fucked your fingers. 

I’m playing with myself right now at the thought of how tight that young little pussy is. Fuck… picturing those sexy hips slam against me as you ride my dick. Do you like it rough or nice and slow? Delicate, just like you, pretty girl. 

Shit. I just came so hard. 

Would you let Steve and I fill you up? Make you really ours?

I wish we could fall asleep with you between us. I’d give anything to hold you in my arms and play with your hair. 

Can’t wait to see you again, princess. 

-Eddie.

############################

April 1997

Honey, 

How did your test go for your class? I’m sorry we weren’t more helpful but I’m glad you brought your stuff to show us what you’ve been working on. It makes us so happy to see you working so hard and achieving your dreams. You deserve all the good things in this world. 

I’ve been thinking about you since we last saw you. Aren’t you glad now you wore that sexy skirt?

God, I can still smell you on my fingers. I loved feeling you cling to my arm as I thrust them into your tight little cunt. We have to work on silencing those moans a bit more : ).

I keep having dreams about your pretty mouth wrapped around my cock just looking up at me with those big, beautiful eyes while I fuck your throat. 

Do you think about us? Tell us all your fantasies, baby. 

We love you. 

-Steve

#######################

April 1997

Eddie & Steve, 

You are such bad boys, you know that? I like it though…

Sometimes when I’m writing to you, Derek will walk by and I feel naughty but giddy. I’m doing something I definitely shouldn’t be doing. When we have sex, I don’t see him anymore. 

I just see you two. 

I wish I could take care of you the way you do me. I want to feel you both inside of me, stretching me open. I want to choke on Steve’s cock and ride Eddie till I can’t walk. I want to feel you both cum inside me and make me yours. 

I love you to…so much… 

I hate to ask this after everything but Derek would like to film you guys for his project. I’ll be there to so you won’t be alone with him and I can use the footage when I start working on my graduation project later down the line. 

After everything, if you don’t want to I completely understand. 

I’ll call you both tomorrow. 

-Y/N

##########################

May 1997

Please, 

I’m so sorry! The prison said you aren’t allow visits for the next month after what happened and you aren’t taking my calls. 

I didn’t know those were the questions he was going to ask you, I swear. 

After the stupid bullshit he pulled, I broke up with him and kicked him out of our apartment. 

I know you both are innocent and I don’t feel the same way he does. 

I love you so much. 

-Y/N

################

May 1997,

Don’t break up with him. He’s right. We’re fucking criminals and—

Y/N,

Eddie is still upset but we do believe that you didn’t know he was going to blind side us. We just needed some time to compose ourselves. The questions Derek asked about those kids, Nancy, and then seeing him kissing you when we walked in just fucking… It was too much. 

Add in the fact that he made some points, you know?

By the time, we get out of here we’ll be in our late 40’s essentially starting over. It’s going to be so hard for us to get a job and other things like a house or a car. People will always look down on us for something we didn’t do but they believe we did. 

You’re going to be this badass attorney with men your age groveling at your high heeled feet to give you the world. 

We’re scared about dragging you down with us. You deserve the world, baby girl.

Just give us a bit more time, ok? During this time, I want you to think about if being with us is the life you really want. Really think about it, Y/N. 

We love you to… no matter what.

--Steve & Eddie

###########################

August 1997

Eddie & Steve, 

I’m sitting in my first class this semester and I am already exhausted. I started my new job at The Hideout and I left at like 3am. I got some good tips though so that will help with tuition. I can also send you guys anything if you need something. 

I heard your appeal was denied again. 

I’m so sorry.

With cases like yours, it’s so hard to get those pushed through and approved. 

I’m thinking about you two every minute. When I crashed, I kept wishing I had your arms around me. 

I’ll call you tonight before my shift. 

I love you!

-Y/N

########################

August 1997, 

Baby, 

Yeah, we’re kind of over it now. After so many denials, you just kind of give up trying. It was like that with my dad and his case. Then again he was just a repeat offender and I’m a murderer so.

You didn’t tell us you were working at The Hideout. I used to play my guitar there with my band when I thought I would be a rockstar. I’m not gonna be anything now.

I’m sorry, sweetheart. I guess we’re just a bit low right now. 

I wish we could be there with you to. I want to fall asleep to your voice talking to me about everything. I could listen to you talk for hours, babe. 

Don’t overwork yourself. 

Love you,

--Eddie 

Honey, 

You never have to worry about sending us anything in here. We make enough money and then Wayne gives Eddie some to get by. 

My mom was there at our appeal. It was nice seeing her face again after all this time even though she didn’t talk to me or stick around to meet with me at the prison. 

I imagine my father didn’t know she was there. 

I agree with Munson, don’t over work yourself. 

We miss you. 

--Steve

######################

October 1997,

Y/N, 

We didn’t mean to scare you, baby, when you came to visit. We just… you were supposed to come visit us last week and you didn’t. You don’t answer when we call. 

We get worried. 

Please, sweetheart, answer the phone so we can talk. 

We love you, pretty girl. 

--Eddie

#######################

October 1997,

FUCK YOU! 

You don’t get to treat me the way you did when I took time out of my day to come to see you! Steve, you have no right shouting at me and degrading me in front of all your cell block friends. Eddie, you don’t get to grab my wrist and command that I “Lower my voice” when you both are sitting there talking down to me. 

The three of us know you weren’t worried about me but fucking jealous I’ve been brushing you off for someone else! 

I have shown you both nothing but respect and opened my heart to you from day one!

I’m sorry your both in the situation you are in. I genuinely am but I have given you no reason to think I’d ever hurt you by fucking cheating on you. 

I wouldn’t put my career and heart on the line like I have just to fucking throw it away that way. 

--Y/N

######################

October 1997

Little girl, 

I know you get off on being a bad girl but we swear to God, Y/N. You don’t get to talk to us the way you did during our visit. We understand that you have a busy life but that doesn’t give you the right to not show up or not answer the phone when you say you will. 

We may be convicts but we still have feelings. 

Telling us to “fuck off” or saying that bratty shit you said like “I’m sorry I’m busy” is not ok. 

Respect is earned. 

Let’s also not forget, Y/N, that you cheated on your boyfriend with us. It’s not farfetched for us to think you may spread your legs for more tips at the bar you work at. 

Don’t play this game with us, princess. You won’t win. 

Eddie & Steve

#########################

October 1997

Edward Munson & Steven Harrington, 

I always win and I have more self-respect than you both seem to think I do. 

We’re done. 

--Y/N

#########################

October 1997

Ed and Stev, 

I hate you sooooooo much. I fell in love wit you and did things with u I’ve never done with ANYONE! Except fucking obviously : ). I never did get to feel those “big cocks” streting tearing me open. Why is that? Oh yeah…because youre in jail!

I was willing to wait bcause I loved you. I didn’t care if you’d be 40 someting when you got out. You will NEVER find someone like me again. 

I’ll move on though. Always do.

Hey check out this cute boy I met. I took a picture of him sucking my neck. I’m not drunk enough to send a video but you can use your imagination. 

You’re good at that especially when u r imagining me cheating on you with men like him. 

Assholes…

--Y/N

######################

October 30th, 1997

Trick or treat, little girl.

See you tonight. 

--Steve & Eddie

##########

Donate to me

@nailbatanddungeon @dashingdeb16 @hardladyheart @thwippyparker @micheledawn1975 @utterlyinsanity

[wosoimagines]

You Didn't Know? - Arsenal WFC/Reader

prompt: R is new to Arsenal after proving themselves at the World Cup, but there are a couple of hurdles they have to face before the team fully accepts them.

warnings: none

words: 6497

I will say that I am not deaf or hard of hearing so if there is anything that I've gotten wrong, please let me know so that I can fix it (I tried to do as much research as I could). Anything that represents sign langue is in continuous italics.

Also, this will become a series, so don't worry about needing to ask for a part two because it will be coming. (I think that this has honestly been one of my favorite ideas for a fic ever and I can't wait to continue it)

part two

(Y/N) POV

I grinned as I got out of the car. I wiggled my eyebrows at the camera once I noticed it. Honestly it wasn’t too surprising that Arsenal would be filming my first day here. I didn’t hesitate to greet the people who were waiting for me either.

“(Y/N), it’s really nice to finally meet you,” the woman that I knew as Clare Wheatley greeted me. I quickly shook her hand once she held it out to me. “Congratulations. We’re really happy you’re here.”

“I’m gonna show you around,” the dark-haired woman who was behind Clare spoke up. I sent her a soft smile. “I’m Sadie Ross. I’ll also serve as an interpreter for you should you need one.”

“You know Auslan?” I asked. I didn’t always have the option to take out my cochlear implants here recently. Once Sadie confirmed that she did in fact know Auslan, I couldn’t help the grin that overtook my face. “I use a Northern dialect usually, but I do know the Southern dialect as well.”

“No worries,” Sadie assured me. She moved closer to me before patting my shoulder so I would follow her. “I’ve studied both dialects.”

“Cool.”

I followed Sadie through until we got to the locker rooms where I was given my own Arsenal gear to get changed into. It was obviously just practice gear, but it was nice to be in official gear from my new club.

“It suits you!” Sadie assured me once I stepped out of the locker room.

“I like it!”

“So, we’re going to take you on a tour, show you the grounds, show you your new home,” Sadie said. I couldn’t help but smile as she had started to sign the words she was speaking. “This is obviously the changing room. This is the technical corridor, so we essentially have all of our tech staff in here. Our head coach Jonas in this hall.”

I looked down the hall that Sadie had been talking about. I started to move with Sadie so that I wouldn’t fall behind her.

“If you come down here, this is where the medical section is. Stuff like physiotherapy, massages, cold therapy, all of that sort of stuff will happen here.”

I paid attention as Sadie walked me through where the medical team could be found along with any rooms concerning treatment were. Sadie also showed me where the meeting room was and assured me that she would be at all of our team meetings and regardless of if I had decided to wear my cochlear implants or not, she would be translating everything that was said.

Then we were off to find the gym. This was one of the places that I was most excited to find since I knew I would probably be spending quite a bit of time in the gym. I appreciated that Sadie had also pointed out where each section was.

Soon we were headed outside.

“So, this is where we come out to get to the pitch?”

“Yeah.”

I grinned as Sadie pointed out where the exhibition pitch was. I was sure that I would be out there soon enough. Before long we had made our way to the mess hall that they had. It was there that I met Mikel Arteta.

Sadie had disappeared while Mikel introduced himself to me. Then I got to meet Win. Who immediately had all of my attention as I moved to the floor to play with the dog.

It was ultimately drawn away from Win though as Sadie made a reappearance. I was quick to get to my feet as I took notice of what Sadie had in her hands. I took in the back of the kit that had my number and name on the back.

“Such a beautiful kit,” I said as Sadie handed it over to me. “Honestly, can’t wait to play in it.”

“Come on,” Sadie said with a chuckle. “Let’s get you changed into it.”

I did a little fist pump before the two of us headed out of the mess hall and back to where the changing rooms were. Once I had the kit on, I headed down the hall to the room that Sadie and I had passed earlier.

“How’s it look?” I asked as I entered the room.

“I’d say it’s probably one of the best looking kits you’ve ever worn,” Sadie said. I let out a laugh at that. Honestly, I didn’t have the chance to wear that many different kits. I had left Australia to go to the States to play college football for Stanford. Other than my youth club kits, the only other kits I had been in were with the national team, but those had been more recent. “Not too big or too little?”

Of course, we had to take pictures of me in the kit while I was in front of the logo that was on the wall. It had been one of the moments I had been looking forward to since it was announced that I was signing with Arsenal following my college career and performance at the World Cup. Then I moved to take pictures of me signing my contract.

The rest of my afternoon was filled with a photoshoot in a full kit before we headed to Emirates. It was pretty cool to finally be able to take in the stadium in person considering I had grown up an Arsenal fan. I didn’t mind the photographer that followed me around getting pictures of me exploring Emirates.

We even sat down for a formal interview before Sadie played twenty questions with me so that fans could get to know me better.

“Why Stanford?”

“Why not?” I countered. I laughed as Sadie rolled her eyes. “I dunno why I chose Stanford. I had played with youth clubs, but no one was looking to give me a shot with their senior team in Australia. I was smart enough to get scholarships to attend school in the States. Stanford happened to have open tryouts and I was just really lucky that I was able to impress the coaches there and they ended up giving me a spot on the team.”

“Was it hard?”

“Yeah. I was pretty much all alone in a country I didn’t know and having to constantly prove myself,” I admitted. My time in college, while it had been great, had probably been the worst time of my life so far. “I had to practice all the time while keeping up with my studies and even then, I would barely get playing time. Then we had the 2019 College Cup. I didn’t get a lot of time still, but our coach, Paul Ratcliffe, had taken notice of all the practice I put in, specifically with my penalties so when the game went to penalties, I got to take what ended up being the final penalty. I finally knew what the biggest shot of my career was.”

“Did it help you to prepare for the shootout in the World Cup?”

I shrugged at that. Nothing could compare to the shootout that happened at the World Cup. I hadn’t even expected the penalties to go on so long that I would even take one, but then that plan had collapsed, and I ended up taking the final penalty knowing that France wouldn’t have that much film on my penalty kicks and tendencies.

“Nothing will compare to my World Cup penalty. That has probably been the best moment of my life,” I said. I motioned to my ears. “I do kind of have an advantage. It is nice to be able to literally turn off all of the noise. And if you watch the play back close enough, you can see that I had turned it back on right after the ball left my foot. Being able to go from dead silence to hearing the entire stadium cheering was incredible.”

“Did you get the game ball?”

“I did. It will be brought over after our next national camp because surely by then I’ll actually have my own place.”

“Now to backtrack, because you’ll be getting to play with Lotte and Alessia obviously. Not only did they knock you and Australia out of the World Cup but you, as mentioned earlier, won the 2019 College Cup by scoring the winning penalty which caused the two to lose the same game. Is there gong to be any bad blood?”

“No, I don’t think so. Does it sting that we didn’t win the World Cup? Obviously, but we were able to do an amazing job and we overcame everyone’s expectations that they had set for us. In the end, it just wasn’t our year for it. So, I don’t have any hard feelings about that,” I said. I had been upset and frustrated that we weren’t able to win the World Cup, but I was still really proud of the rest of the Matildas. “As for 2019, that’s a question for Lotte and Alessia. Honestly, I’m not even sure if either of them remembers me from it. I might have scored the goal, but my role that season was not a huge one. I didn’t even see an increase in minutes that second year with the team.”

“What are you most excited about being here with Arsenal for?”

“To play for the team I’ve always loved,” I said before looking over my shoulder at Sadie. “It is really cool that I’m also going to get to play with Caitlin and Steph more than just with the national team. And it isn’t just them. I could pretty much learn from most of the players here with Arsenal and I’m excited to get the opportunity to do so."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat by myself again in the mess hall. It seemed that until I got rid of this ear infection, no one was going to approach me except for Sadie. I had really appreciated that she was sitting to eat with me. My hunt for a place to call my own had also been stalled considering I had been trying to rest.

But it had already been three weeks with none of the normal tips and tricks I knew had helped to get rid of this ear infection. Our medical staff at Arsenal hadn’t been able to help me, so they had gotten me in to see a doctor. The doctor had told me it was labyrinthitis, an inflammation of the inner ear.

I had been given medicine for the dizziness that I was experiencing but it did nothing to help the pain I still felt. It led to me ultimately being ruled out of the first qualifying round of the Champions League that took place two weeks ago.

And I couldn’t help but feel like it had partially been my fault when the team came back after being eliminated by Paris FC. I hadn’t even been there with the team for the games. I also wasn’t entirely sure how much the rest of the team knew about why I had been a scratch for the journey.

I looked up at the small tap on the table. Sadie sent me a soft smile as she sat down.

“How you feeling?”

“Tired.”

Not only was I dealing with an ear infection, but the loneliness was starting to get to me. I knew that it would be hard to communicate with my teammates while I wasn’t wearing my cochlear implants, but none of them had tried to get to know me. Not even my national teammates.

I couldn’t wait for the national window to open. Unless I was deemed unable to travel, I didn’t see why I wouldn’t be called up. Even though we’d be in Perth, rather than Brisbane, I was still happy that I’d be back in Australia. I’d even get to see Theo since he had gotten a job with the Matildas. I knew that his main job was to act as an interpreter while I was with the team, but he was also helping take care of all our gear as well.

I sent Kyra a small wave when she smiled at me. The small smile that had taken place on my face quickly turned to a frown though once she moved to join Caitlin and Steph who were sitting with a couple of the English players on our team along with Katie. I sighed as my head dropped down.

“I can say something to them, you know.”

I shook my head. I didn’t need Sadie tackling my problems for me. Besides, once I got over this ear infection, I’d be right there with the other Aussies.

“The last thing I need is for them to think that I’m a coward because I can’t join them and then I send you to confront them for not spending time around me.”

Sadie softly sighed before she nodded. I knew that she hated that I had been left on the outside of the team, but what choice did I really have? I wasn’t really that great at reading the lips of anyone outside of the Aussies and it wasn’t like Sadie could follow me around all day to translate everything for me, she was still one of our assistant coaches.

It was honestly just a really unfortunate situation. One that I hoped would be resolved within two weeks. I wasn’t sure where I would be at mentally if I couldn’t play in our WSL season opener.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My ear infection had finally gotten better a week before we were slated to take on Liverpool, but I was still finding it hard to talk to any of my teammates. Kyra seemed to be the only one willing to seek me out, but it wasn’t often as she was still attached to Caitlin and Steph’s hips. Maybe that’s why I hadn’t been as excited about getting to start against Liverpool. I had questioned Jonas’ decision when he told me, but he said it was the perfect chance to see what I would be able to do so that he could figure out how he would use me for the season.

It would have been fine, if it hadn’t been for the number of knocks that I was taking. It seemed that Liverpool had decided to target me. I wasn’t sure if it was because they weren’t sure what I could do, or maybe they had decided that I was the weak link on the field. But I could handle what they threw at me.

At least until Taylor Hinds and I clashed in the midfield trying to fight for the ball. She had got a hand on the side of my head which ended up knocking off my cochlear implant. This was one of the times where I hated my cochlear implants because it wasn’t like I could just leave it on the ground to come back to while I chased after the ball. No, I had to make sure I grabbed the cochlear implant that had come off my head to make sure that no one stepped on it and destroyed it.

Ultimately, I didn’t even have to worry about Hinds getting too far because the play was called dead. I had assumed that Hinds was going to be reprimanded for the swipe at my head. I wasn’t really sure, but I knew that it gave me time to put my cochlear implant on.

I didn’t tilt my head in confusion when I saw the ref, Emily Heaslip, going to talk with Liverpool’s coach, Matt Beard. My eyes darted between my own teammates because I had no idea why Heaslip was talking to Beard. At least I didn’t have a clue until Heaslip started to wave me over. I glanced around me to make sure she wasn’t trying to get someone else. I even pointed to myself as I raised my brow in confusion. Heaslip nodded her head and waved for me to go over where they were again.

I shrugged as I jogged over to the sideline.

“She’s cheating,” Beard said once I got close enough to hear them. He pointed to the side of his head. “She’s got earbuds in. Getting information from someone up top.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I watched you put it in,” Beard said as he turned to me. My hand flew up to touch my ear. “Yeah, those!”

“You mean my cochlear implants?”

“She should be sent off.”

“They’re medical devices. I have to have them to hear.”

“I’m sure that’s what she tells everyone so she can cheat. After all, how good can a college walk on be anyways.”

Now that was uncalled for.

“I’m better than you because at least I’m playing professionally.”

“Take them out.”

I froze at that. Surely, I didn’t hear that right.

“Take them out before the yellow I’m going to give you becomes a red.”

Heaslip was out of her mind. My eyes immediately darted over to Jonas as I motioned to my ears causing the man to make his way over to us. I wasn’t surprised that Sadie was following behind. Nor when Kim left the huddle of my teammates to see what was going on.

“She’s getting a yellow for blatantly cheating,” Heaslip said once Jonas asked what was going on. “At least I’m giving her the chance to continue the game.”

“They want me to take my implants out,” I explained. I knew that Jonas and Sadie would both be confused as to what cheating they were talking about. “Neither of them are listening that they’re medical devices.”

“Calm down,” Kim softly said from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder at her.

“No, they don’t get to discriminate against me just because they’re idiots.”

Heaslip had enough arguing I guess, because when I looked back at her there was a yellow card pointed at me. Definitely not how I wanted to start my career with Arsenal, but there was nothing I could do to change it now.

“Kim, go,” Jonas said. My captain hesitated, but she moved away from the group to join our teammates. “She quite literally can’t hear if she doesn’t wear them.”

“They come out. Now.”

Heaslip wasn’t even listening to what we were saying. Jonas nodded before glancing at Sadie.

“Okay, just give us a minute so (Y/N) can get them out.”

Heaslip nodded and stayed where she could watch as I walked back toward the bench with Jonas and Sadie.

“It’s not fair,” I said. I had no idea how I was going to play if I couldn’t hear since I always wore my cochlear implants when I played. “My first game with the team and they get to ruin it because they don’t know what cochlear implants are?”

“I’m not taking you out,” Jonas said. I blinked at that. I hadn’t expected him to keep me in. “You can still play without needing to hear. Just try not to keep playing too long after plays are whistled dead.”

“Oh, because that’ll be so easy.”

It wasn’t like I could just keep my eyes trained on the refs for the entire match.

“Sadie will hold onto them.”

I sighed as I looked between the two. It would be nice to finish my first match with Arsenal. I couldn’t do that if I let idiots ruin it for me. It only took me a second to take both of my cochlear implants out and hand them over to Sadie before was back out on the field.

Coming off from the first half, I knew that I was skating on thin ice with Heaslip with the amount of time it took for me to realize when plays were dead. I wanted nothing more than to keep my head down while Jonas talked to us at halftime so that I could at least pretend that the rest of my teammates weren’t staring at me, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to look up so that I could understand what was being said as Sadie translated it for me.

Going back out for the second half wasn’t any easier. I had been slow to move at kickoff since I was relying on when everyone else moved. I tried my best to stay away from fouls, whether my team was committing them or Liverpool, since they were the most unpredictable ways for plays to be called dead. It wasn’t as bad as the first half had been.

But it really came to a head in the 67th minute. We were already down by one, but Caitlin was getting the chance to make a run. I had made the decision to pull toward the middle of the field from my side as the rest of the midfielders were still behind the forwards and I. Caitlin was clearly fouled by Koivisto, but no one was stopping even though Caitlin stayed on the ground.

My eyes stayed trained on Caitlin who wasn’t getting up as I moved backwards. Then I decided to do something that was definitely risky, but I knew that if Caitlin still wasn’t getting up then it would be good for our trainers to check her out. So, I darted across the field where Koivisto was still trying to move the ball. Koivisto stopped and relaxed as soon as I got close to her, but it didn’t stop me from knocking into her to win the ball back. As soon as the ball was at my feet, I sent it out of bounds.

As soon as I had turned to go check on Caitlin, I knew that I was in for it. Heaslip had her eyes trained on me as she started to march over where I was. I scoffed as I rolled my eyes at the clear fact that it was me that she was coming to talk to rather than Koivisto who had been the one to actually foul another player.

I didn’t even pretend like I was paying attention to Heaslip this time. I was just tired of all of the bullshit from this game. However, my eyes did widen when she pulled out the yellow card again and pointed it at me before the red card followed since I had already gotten a yellow.

“Oh, come on. What do you want me to do?” I asked her as I motioned to my ears. “I can’t hear. You made sure of that.”

Heaslip’s lips were moving, but I had no interest in trying to figure out what she was saying. This was insane and I couldn’t believe that I was actually going to have to fight these cards just so that I could play in our next match.

“No seriously, I would love to hear what you want me to do. Oh, wait. I can’t because you made me take my implants out.”

I shoved the arms that were trying to pull me away from Heaslip away from me. I couldn’t wait to fight these cards though so that Heaslip would never call a game again. There’s no way anyone would ever have her referee a game once they found out that she had discriminated against me by denying me the use of my cochlear implants.

I was a bit surprised when Caitlin got in between Heaslip and I before the older Aussie started to push me back. She was pointing toward the tunnel, so it didn’t take much to guess that she was telling me to get off the pitch. My shoulders slumped forward at the obvious disappointment from the player that I had spent so much time looking up to. I couldn’t bring myself to meet anyone’s eyes either as I made my way off the pitch and to the tunnel.

I didn’t even bother to stop by Sadie to grab my cochlear implants. This had to be the worst debut I ever had.

I took a seat in front of my locker. It was an easy technique that I liked to use to help keep me grounded. It made it easier not to lose myself if I could feel the ground under me. I stayed there for the rest of the game. It wasn’t until Jonas and Sadie had entered the locker room that I realized that the game had ended.

“That was the worst game I have ever played.”

Sadie frowned but she relayed the message to Jonas who rubbed at his forehead. Jonas’ eyes stayed trained on me even though mine had to dart between him and Sadie so I could understand what was being said.

“I should have taken you out. That’s on me. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to prove to them that you were better than they gave you credit for. Which you did. We’ll fight the cards and I’m sure that they’ll be overturned considering you really didn’t do anything wrong.”

I shook my head at that because there was nothing that we could do to allow me to redo my first game with Arsenal. Especially in Emirates. It had all been messed up.

“I have dreamed of this day since I was a kid. And it got completely fucked up. I don’t care if the cards are overturned, but I do want apologies from Beard and Heaslip.”

Jonas nodded in agreement once Sadie let him know what I had said.

“Completely understandable and I’ll be sure that it is known that we fully expect apologies from both for forcing you to do something you didn’t want to with your cochlear implants. Whether or not you wear them should be entirely your choice.”

I nodded as I wiped the tears away from my eyes. I knew it wasn’t guaranteed that I would get an apology from either of them.

“I believe there are some fans who would still like to see you. Even if you did get sent off.”

I sighed and dropped my head at that. Before the World Cup, no one was interested in meeting me. It meant that when I had a bad game, or it didn’t go the way my team had expected, that I could leave without disappointing too many people.

But I knew that I needed to go see the fans. They deserved something good from me today after the game. I got to my feet, and I found that Sadie was holding my cochlear implants out to me. I took them from her before I headed out of the locker room so that I could go see some of our fans.

I fiddled with the cochlear implants in my hands as I made my way out of the tunnel to the field. I just wanted to greet the fans and then head home. But it seemed that nothing was going to go my way as I was snagged by the back of my jersey.

When I turned to see who had grabbed my jersey, I was surprised to find Caitlin behind me. She was holding a microphone causing me to full turn to find her in the middle of an interview. I furrowed my brow because I wasn’t sure why she had stopped me considering I hadn’t crashed the interview until she pulled me back. But my eyes moved away from where she was to the reporter who Caitlin was talking to.

“You’re going to have to give me a moment,” I said once I realized that the reporter’s lips were moving a lot faster than I could decipher. It didn’t take me long to get my cochlear implants on before I looked back at the reporter. “Okay, now I’ve got my ears on. What’s up?”

“I was hoping to get your thoughts on your first game with Arsenal. I know after how you played in the World Cup that a lot of the Arsenal faithful were looking forward to seeing you only to find out that you were an illness scratch during the Champions League games.”

“I won’t lie. It’s all been a bit frustrating. Up until today, none of that had been anyone’s fault,” I admitted. I knew that I had to be careful about talking about my frustrations for tonight because I could still be punished if I said the wrong things. “I’m just hoping things will start turning around.”

“What’s been so frustrating?”

“Well, obviously I was an illness scratch for the Champions League games we had. I had been dealing with an ear infection during that time and it lasted until last week. It was brutal and there were times where I was in so much pain. It was just unfortunate that it had to happen almost as soon as I had arrived at Arsenal,” I said as I rubbed the back of my head. It had honestly been the worst ear infection I had ever had. “It made it hard to communicate with anyone really, so that was really hard because I do enjoy spending time with others. But I finally got rid of the infection last week, and Jonas decided to give me the start. So, things are starting to turn around.”

“Even with how tonight ended?”

I glanced over my shoulder at Caitlin who had asked the question. She had a frown on her face. I wasn’t entirely sure why Caitlin looked upset, but I knew that it probably had to do with me crashing her interview or the fact that I just revealed that I had been in pain and isolated.

“Getting carded for the reasons I did was insane and frustrating. Jonas and I have already agreed that we’ll be appealing the cards,” I said. Honestly, I couldn’t believe that Caitlin was okay with the cards I had been given. “I’m sure we’ll win the appeal. I would like to make formal complaints about both Beard and Heaslip considering how I was treated.”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure that you’ll overturn those cards,” the reporter pointed out. I turned my head back to look at her. “You obviously got into a heated talk with Liverpool’s head coach, Matt Beard, and tonight’s referee, Emily Heaslip.”

“It’s simple,” I shrugged. Was I really around this many people who had no idea what cochlear implants were. “One of my cochlear implants fell off and Beard had to be nosy, even though he can’t tell the difference between earbuds and my cochlear implants. Then Heaslip sided with him without talking to either Jonas or I. Which she should have done to figure out what I had in my ears if she was really worried about someone cheating, but she refused to hear us out as we tried to explain.”

“Well, I wish you both better luck for the future.”

I sent a soft smile to the reporter, happy to finally be done with the interview. Caitlin followed me as I headed to where our fans still were so that I could greet them. Caitlin stayed close to me as we talked with the fans and took pictures and gave autographs. I didn’t think much of how close she was staying to me until we were headed back through the tunnel.

“So those weren’t earbuds?”

I stopped in the tunnel causing Caitlin to crash into my back. I honestly hadn’t been expecting the question. Once I regained my balance, I turned to face Caitlin.

“We played at the World Cup together. Not only that but we spent over a month together to prepare for it and then play in it,” I pointed out as I tilted my head in confusion. I knew that I had tended to stick around the ones on the national team who were closer to my age, but we had all spent so much time around each other. The World Cup was one of the few times where I had worn my cochlear implants even when I didn’t want to. “You’ve seen my cochlear implants before.”

“I thought they were fancy headphones,” Caitlin defended. I shook my head as I let out a sigh. She could have just asked me what they were, and I would have told her. “So, what do they really do?”

“We can come back to that in a second,” I said. There was something else that was bothering me now from today’s game. “Were you upset with me when I got the second yellow because you thought I had gotten the first one for wearing fancy headphones?”

Caitlin only shrugged. My shoulders slumped forward because her silence said it all. My own teammates had thought I was cheating along with our referee and opponents’ coach.

“What is it that they do?”

“They’re basically my ears,” I said. This time it was Caitlin who was tilting her head in confusion. “It’s kind of how I’ve always seen them. I have my actual ears and they can hurt and, obviously, I can still get ear infections. But since my actual ears can’t process sound, I have my cochlear implants which are my hearing ears.”

“So, they’re like hearing aids?”

“They have the same purpose but work differently,” I said. A lot of people asked me about this when they first found out that I had cochlear implants so that I could hear. “Hearing aids just amplify sounds so they can be detected by damaged ears. Cochlear implants bypass the damaged parts.”

Caitlin slowly nodded as she furrowed her brow in thought. I didn’t mind answering the questions she had for me. I never had been opposed to answering questions about my disability. But if my own teammates hadn’t realized that I had cochlear implants or what they did, I wondered how many people were unaware of my situation.

“And we all just ignored you when joined the club.”

“It hurt, yeah,” I shrugged. This time it was Caitlin’s shoulders that slumped forward. “I understood though. Outside of our little Aussie group, no one on the team had ever played with me before. And it wasn’t like I’ve exactly had a lot of experience playing with any of you either.”

“But we ignored you.”

“I couldn’t really talk to anyone,” I pointed out. It might have sucked and hurt while I was being ignored, but I had understood why I was ignored. “Sure, I could talk, but I wouldn’t have been able to understand the rest of you.”

“Ross didn’t ignore you.”

“Sadie? She knows Auslan, AKA Australian Sign Language,” I said. I had gotten better offers from other clubs, but Arsenal had already told me that they had an interpreter on staff. “Sadie is literally employed as an interpreter for me now that I’ve joined Arsenal. It just so happened that she was already an assistant coach here at Arsenal and now they’re also paying her for acting as an interpreter.”

“Oh.”

I furrowed my brow. The last thing I wanted was for Caitlin or anyone else on the team to feel like I resented them for not being able to communicate with me. Maybe if I was a kid then I would feel differently about the whole situation, but I had long ago come to terms with the fact that most people wouldn’t be able to communicate with me sometimes.

I grabbed a hold of Caitlin’s wrist as I dragged her to the locker room. I was a bit surprised when we ran into Kyra who was leaving the locker room. It was obvious that she was headed home too considering she had her bag with her.

“Back in the locker room,” I said to her. Kyra’s eyebrow shot up as she looked between me and Caitlin. I looked over her shoulder though to see that the rest of the team was in the locker room. Even our injured players who were talking with the others. “Team meeting! No one leaves until I’m done talking.”

Everyone’s eyes were drawn to me as I turned back to look at Kyra. Kyra nodded before moving back into the locker room which allowed me to drag Caitlin in. Once the locker room door was shut, I let go of Caitlin’s wrist so that she could move to sit down.

“It’s been brought to my own attention that a lot of you are more than likely unaware that I’m Deaf. I was born deaf, and I do use cochlear implants to hear,” I announced. My eyes darted around the room to see how my new teammates would react. “I also know Australian Sign Language, or Auslan. So does Sadie. I wasn’t ignoring anyone or wanted to be left alone during my first month with the club, but wearing my cochlear implants while dealing with an ear infection is quite annoying for me so I chose not to wear them. And I’ll answer any questions you ever have. I really have no problem answering questions.”

The team stayed quiet as they processed everything that I had just told them. The longer the silence went on, the more nervous it made me. I couldn’t help it as I started to fidget where I was standing with most of the team’s eyes still on me.

“So Heaslip made you take off the only thing that allowed you to hear?”

My eyes darted over to where Alessia was sitting. I hesitated for a moment before nodding in confirmation.

“I wasn’t cheating,” I repeated. Just the idea of my new teammates thinking that I had cheated made me nauseous. “And all the warnings for not stopping at the whistle? I couldn’t hear. I had to take cues from everyone else. Well, from you guys.”

My eyes turned to Kim who got up to move in front of me.

“If anyone else ever tries to make you take off your cochlear implants when you don’t want to, they’re going to have to go through all of us,” Kim assured me as she put a hand on my shoulder. “And I know that I’ll be giving you my full support in appealing the cards and any other action you wish to pursue against Heaslip or Beard.”

I sent her a small smile. It was nice to have someone who was willing to back me up so quickly. Especially considering that it seemed like the whole team had been under the impression that I was ignoring them on purpose.

“You’ve got my full support as well,” Alessia said as she stood up.

I didn’t miss how my fellow Aussies shared a look before they also stood up to declare their support. And soon after they stood up, so did the rest of the team.

I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face thanks to the support that the team was so willing to give me even though none of them truly knew me yet. It might have honestly been one of the first times that I ever truly felt like my entire team had my back.

next part

[critterbitter]

Do you think you'll draw the nimbasa trio catching their first Pokemon that's not their starter on their journey?

Definitely! It’s just a matter of getting there, haha. I am but one vaguely man shaped blob with a hyperfixation. Mortal needs like sleep and hand pains stop me from vomiting every brain idea I have.

I actually got this question multiple times, so to answer! I am not going to be drawing the nimbasa trio getting another pokemon until their late teens unless a brainworm strikes. (So no new pokemon during the current snapshot series haha.)

Why?

From a canon perspective, well:

Most npc trainers you meet on route have 2-4 pokemon, so I’m gonna try to keep within that amount until the trio settles in Nimbasa and have the revenue/space to upkeep a full pokemon team.

From a meta perspective, wellllll:

Another caught pokemon means character development, and I, ah... right now, I just wanna draw a candle, a zebra, and an eel. I love painting. But fitting seven or more characters on a canvas is, er… Make me draw more guys and I’ll melt like a vanniluxe on a summer day.

If people are curious for some pokemon headcannons though (note that this is not canon— pokemon gave me a puddle of information, so I’m taking the shovel to dig an ocean.)

- ingo saw a colony of dwebble collecting rocks while in the desert, and he’s been enamored ever since. He’s been trying to convince a dwebble to join his team for a while. Unfortunately, Ingo’s very excited and dwebble are naturally shy. (It doesn’t help that litwick can get mean when jealous.)

- emmet loves double battles and teams up with a lot of wild pokemon— but he doesn’t click with anybody until much further in the future. Me thinks his expectations are a tad too high from having such a good start with tynamo. He’s worked with multiple growlithes and thinks Helping Hand is the coolest shit ever.

- emmet’s first “caught” pokemon would be archen. More like “lab grown” and “lovingly hatched”, but it’s the thought that counts. Thinking once again about squab archen…

- elesa found her two emolga in the trash. She was going to release them after fostering, but got attached.

For future plans:

(The pokemon the twins live with and are officially part of the team (named at what stage the twins meet them! Note that everybody becomes fully evolved at somepoint.)

Ingo— litwick, dwebble, drillbur, and axew.

Emmet— tynamo, archen(lint roller), joltik, and durant.

They also have pokemon coworkers that don’t live with them, but agree to help in battles for exp and wages— kliklank twins, garbadore, shelmet and karablast, boldore (atlas), and gurdur)

And for our favorite electric gym leader:

Elesa— blitzle, the emolga twins (em and molga), stunfisk, mareep

(She has pokemon coworkers Eelektross (eela), zebrastrika (motorbreak), and Galvulanta (Lanta) who have a similar set up to the twins— the pokemon agree to work with Elesa for exp and wages, but otherwise have their own lives.)

(Fun headcanon: pokemon who are raised by humans tend to keep human nicknames. It’s not always the case, but it’s a common enough trend for research studies.)

[filmbyjy]

MINESTREAM

SYPNOSIS > Wanting to start a new stream series with his best friends, Jay had a bright idea of playing some simple Minecraft with them. Everything was normal, until he realises there is another person in the call with them. He quickly learns that it was ni-ki’s older sister, (name). Watch how streaming a simple game of Minecraft can dig up some interesting feelings between the main leads.

FOURTY-FOUR – we’re okay now

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

italics is them speaking in japanese

a/n: this is going to be a slightly long read. not a super long but definitely the longest written chapter I’ve done for this smau. trigger warning (no pun intended): there is mentions of guns

you blinked once, the white light right above you was practically beaming. it causes you to blink a couple more times to adjust to the lighting. once you fully focus, you realised that you weren’t at home. you turned your head to the side and noticed ni-ki was laying his head on the white mattress. his hand holding yours tightly, like you were going to disappear.

ni-ki stirs in his sleep, he groans and slowly sits up. once he realises that you’re awake, he stands up and throws himself onto you. giving you a bone crushing hug.

“oneechan.” his voice was soft, you could hear a little crack in his voice like he was going to cry.

“riki, what’s wrong? i just fainted, little baby.” you pat his back slowly and it only makes ni-ki hold you tighter.

“you worried me. you are my only family here in seoul. mom and dad can’t even come here.”

“yvette and heeseung are here. i’m not your only family.”

“you know what i mean, oneechan.”

you laughed a little, “yes, riki. i know.” ni-ki pulls back from the hug. “where are the others?”

“yvette-chan and heeseung-kun went to buy some lunch.” just as ni-ki finishes his words, the ward door opens.

yvette gasps and she runs over to hug you. “my precious girl, you’re finally awake. you missed lunch and dinner.”

“how long was i out for?”

“about 8 hours? or more?” heeseung says.

“we tossed the flowers out. jungwon and sunoo took a sample piece and are testing things out in their little ‘makeshift’ lab.” yvette explains.

“why do they have a lab?”

“jay hyung is sponsoring them.” ni-ki says.

“but…why though?” you say in confusion.

“don’t question it, they’re in their ‘detective era’ as what they said.” yvette says.

ni-ki shrugs, he snatches the food from heeseung and goes over to the empty chair next to you. “let’s share this, you need all the good food. you’re too thin.” ni-ki pats your head.

“i am not sk-” ni-ki shoves the curly fries into your hand.

“you deserve it.”

you looked in between heeseung, yvette and ni-ki before sighing and grabbing a curly fries. ni-ki snaps a photo of you eating and send it to jay. as for jay, he was busy panicking in his seat as the bus drove them back to the campus. jake smacks jay’s thigh.

“stop it. she’s going to be fine.” jake glares at jay. jay sighs.

“i’m sorry, i just- i’m just worried about her. what if there is some problems. the last time ni-ki texted me, she was still asleep. it’s been 8 hours since then.”

ping!

jay rushes to check his phone. he notices the photo of you eating some curly fries and in a hospital gown.

‘she’s awake, you don’t have to worry hyung.’

jay sighs in relief, he finally settles down on his seat. jake pats the boy’s shoulder.

“she’s awake now. you can get some proper rest. you haven’t slept at all and i know you love sleeping. ni-ki, heeseung hyung and yvette noona are watching her. sunoo and jungwon are doing their little research things so you don’t have to worry.” jake reassures jay.

jay huffs, “okay. i’ll get some rest.” as jay shuts his eyes, there was some smooching sounds behind them and so jake throws an empty plastic bottle at sunghoon.

“shut the fuck up, sunghoon.” jake whispers. sunghoon glares at jake.

“can’t i kiss my girlfriend?”

“makeout in your room when we get back. jay hasn’t slept last night because he was busy worrying about (name). you wouldn’t know because you snuck out to sleep in Nari’s room!”

sunghoon frowns, “fine.” he pecks Nari cheek once and looks out the window. nari sighs.

“sorry, jake.” those innocent eyes.

jake groans, “don’t- oh my god, i see why sunghoon cracks whenever he sees you. you are too adorable for this world. fucking hell, i miss my girlfriend.” he turns around and settles at his seat. he starts to spam lily on his phone.

nari innocently tilts her head in confusion. “hoonie, did i do something wrong?”

“no, baby. you did nothing wrong. jake just misses his girl.”

“you know…maybe we should find a way to let jake visit lily.” nari suggests.

sunghoon notices jake typing to lily. the series of ‘i miss you’ ‘wish you were here’ ‘my heart is incomplete without you’ texts that sunghoon read through the crack in between the seats, it was depressing.

“yeah, let’s talk to yvette about this.” nari smiles and sunghoon pecks her forehead. he mutters a small little ‘i love you’ to her and she lays her head on his shoulder.

jungwon and sunoo burst through the door of the ward with a loud bang. the nurse spins around as she hands you the medicine you were supposed to take. they bow slightly to the nurse as she leaves while glaring at the two boys.

“why did you two burst through the doors like that?” yvette says.

“we found more evidence! sunoo hyung tell them what happened.”

“so i was snooping around and possibly hacked into kaito’s dad’s company database. this dumbass kept all the evidence in a singular folder. all the way from tax fraud to embezzlement. it’s actually insane because the numbers in the account just went from like 10,000 to 10,000,000 real quick.” sunoo explains.

“in won…or.”

“USD. look!” sunoo shows the pdf file that he downloaded. all the different years of bank statements.

“this is perfect but this would only land kaito’s dad in jail. what about that…thing.” yvette says.

“jungwon found some criminal offences and reports made against him. turns out he was a creep and has always been one. he likes to stalk girls, loves being a creep and was very abusive to his exes.”

“holy shit. this is great. we just need to report this to the police and have him deported and in jail!” heeseung says.

“problem is….kaito is off the grid. we have no idea where he is.” jungwon says.

“what do you mean…” you bit your lips nervously.

“he just disappeared. i think he’s about to do something again…which is not good.”

ni-ki stands up, “i am not letting him strike again. he may be one step ahead but we can always be two steps ahead of him. we just need to think like him for a bit and predict his next moves.”

the room falls silent. everyone thought of various ways that kaito could go about his next moves.

“since he already hurt (name) in a way…wouldn’t he go for jay next?” heeseung says.

“that’s possible.”

“aren’t they on the school bus right now?” you asked.

“yeah.”

you had sat up, ready to move out of the bed. ni-ki stops you.

“no, you need to rest.”

“i had enough rest. i’ve been out for 8 hours and it’s not like i was physically harmed. i just fainted. we have to get to campus now and check the bus if it’s fine or not.”

“how about me and yvette go there. ni-ki, how about you settle the hospital stuff for (name) and come with her later on after you get a the green light from the doctor? jungwon and sunoo can you make sure the 02z are fine? like call them or something?” heeseung says.

“on it hyung.” jungwon and sunoo called jake. heeseung and yvette went to the campus.

the bus halts pretty hard. everyone in the bus was flung in their seats. jake’s phone rings and so he picks it up confused as to why sunoo was calling him.

“yo, what’s up?”

“anything happened on your trip back from the camp?”

“not really? the bus did stop pretty hard right now.”

there was small cusses from sunoo, he passes the phone to jungwon. “hyung, where are you guys now? like spot a prominent landmark in the area.”

“uh, i see a scarecrow and large fields? why are you asking me this-” jake’s voice dies down when he sees someone holding a gun. “holy fuck.”

“what? what?”

“it’s kaito…”

“oh fuck.” jungwon says.

“oh fuck indeed. everyone is cowering in fear in their seats. kaito doesn’t see us yet. i need to wake jay up. he’s asleep right now.”

“okay, wait. sunoo hyung is calling the cops. send us your location now.”

“fuck, okay-” jake ends the call and sends his location to sunoo.

“jake, we have to do something about this. this isn’t even supposed to happen…how did kaito get a gun through the borders of korea…” sunghoon whispers to jake.

“i have no idea but sunoo is calling the cops right now. we need to wake jay up.”

“or we could kick that thing’s ass.” sunghoon suggests.

“you’re right but he has a gun.”

“two people are better than one.”

“how about three?” jay says with eyes shut. jake turns to look at jay.

“you weren’t asleep??”

“woke up when you two started whispering. pretend to be asleep. i have a plan.”

“at least tell us your plan?” sunghoon says.

“just pretend to fall asleep. i’ll start counting down and you two follow what i do.” jay explains. jake and sunghoon pretend to fall asleep.

kaito comes closer their seats. he points the gun at jay and slowly walks up to him. just as he was about to shoot, jay kicks him. he falls to the small staircase of the bus.

“open the door, quick!” jay tells jake. jake runs towards the front of the bus and clicks the button, all while jay wrestles kaito. jay pushes kaito out of the bus and sunghoon follows behind tackling him too.

“sunghoon!” nari yells. “be careful!”

“don’t worry, babe. i have everything under control.” just as sunghoon says so, kaito fires the gun in the air. their eyes widened as the witnessed it hitting the side of the bus. “okay, i do not have everything under control.” nari sighs. she runs down the steps and kicks the gun out from kaito’s hand. he groans in pain.

“stupid. attempting to hurt my friend and everyone here.” she steps on his hand. “hope you get punished for your sins in prison. let them cut your hand off so you suffer for eternity in a fucking 4x4 jail cell!”

jay eyes widened, “where did you learn japanese?”

“i took classes in high school but that’s besides the point, where are the cops and please check if everyone inside is safe.” nari says.

“that’s the first time i’ve heard her mutter more than 10 words.” jake says. nari glares at jake and jake flinches. he quickly goes to check if everyone was alright. the police sirens were blasting, coming closer.

kaito struggles in sunghoon and jay’s hold.

“stay still unless you want me to step on your hand again.” nari says. kaito continues to struggle and nari steps on his hand, putting pressure on it.

“okay! okay! please, i beg you. it hurts!” kaito groans. nari stops.

the policemen quickly left their car, they went over to jay and sunghoon. a few of them went up on the bus to make sure everyone was okay and 2 of them picked kaito off the ground. they held him tight so he wouldn’t be able to run away. they led him into the car and shoved him inside.

“we’ll bring him to the police station for questioning and also arrest him. we need one of you or maybe 2 of you to tell us what exactly happened and then we’ll file a report.” the police officer explains.

jake, sunghoon and nari went to follow the police officer into the car. an ambulance comes by and makes sure everyone else was okay. they even arranged another transport so that everyone got home safe. finally, they arrived at the campus. everyone wasn’t doing all too well (considering the incident that happened). jay hops off the bus, he goes to grab his bag, along with sunghoon, jake and nari’s. suddenly, he was pulled into a hug, a tiny figure hugging him tightly and he knew who it was.

“baby.” there were sniffles coming from you. he pulls you back and sees that there were tears streaming down your face.

“you could’ve been shot. why did my life have to turn out like this? i should’ve been involved with you. if i hadn’t fall in love with your stupidly handsome face during a minecraft session then you would’ve have been nearly hurt!” you rambled and rambled. jay wipes the tears falling and tilts your head up.

“hey. i’m fine, aren’t i? i wasn’t harmed. you don’t have to blame yourself.” he bumps your nose against his. you sniffled.

“yeah but-”

“no buts. i’m fine and you are too. both of us are okay so we’re okay. it wasn’t your fault that son of a bitch was insane.” you pout. jay lightly flicks your forehead. “there is no way in hell am i breaking up with you over this. besides, who will take care of our two minecraft cats?”

you whined and buried your face onto his chest. you heard a small gagging sound coming from behind you.

“you two are being too sappy. it’s disgusting.” ni-ki says.

“agreed.” sunoo says.

“i second this.” jungwon adds.

just as ni-ki turns his head to look over at heeseung and yvette, he notices that yvette was patting heeseung’s head. heeseung pouts, his large bambi eyes on display as he tries to look cute and innocent to yvette. “okay, not as bad at heeseung hyung and yvette noona.”

everything was okay now. kaito was going to jail and your relationship was definitely going to take a huge turn after this.

this was perfect…

(well, maybe too perfect. we need more funny time)

taglist[open]: @bldelaine @velvtcherie @shalkeren @kgneptun @yenqa @dammit-jjk @sionshiii @enhaz1 @mrchweeee @ncityzenz @autumn583 @okokok4 @ariadores @n1k1mura @kwiwin @drunkdazeded @justkatey @thatsroug @auesoooo @bunchofroses07 @j4ysluv @heeseungwifeyyy @smouches @bubblytaetae @dimplewonie @brachioanton @blackhairandbangs @heestrawberries @amesification @rizzshimura @y4wnjunz @rainyjy @pkjay @simjyunnie @imtoanonymousforyou @jungwoneez @jeongingf1 @astrae4 @heartswonn @pinkishyngs @heeseungsbabyy @in-somnias-world @ramenoil @wantmatthew @leehanascent @kayyssw @allisonleannn @kim2005bomi @saurxcream @urmomssneakylink @zyvlxqht @honeyboobear @ddazed-lhs @bee-the-loser @sunkislove @glassesyunjin @eleanorheartschishiya @jayjongie @woninluv @artstaeh @jwnghyuns @junissy @svmjaeyun @clairecottenheart @onigirik1 @woniejjang

(bolded can’t be tagged)

[tenjikufag]

Got to thinking, a thunkle-ing if you will; not so a request but me chucking a ball of something at you and getting opinion

So, I've seen lots of fics where the reader is already familiar with the fun times, Laios opposite to them

I LEGITIMATELY would like to think if both were virgins that their first time would more so be, scientific and nerdy LMAO in the best way means

Idk, feel like it'd be a odd thing of, Laios is book based, on how it goes or the "effects", reader more-so through word from other folks (probably same w/Laios but eh), but it turns more into a poke and prod session than anything 'what's this do? Oh cool wowzas' but fun no less

That, or I'm easily swayed into getting all science-y and stuff XD

OOOO I like this idea and I’ve thought about it atleast a handful of times!!

Read under the cut! AMAB anatomy used. Switch!Laios and Reader !! NSFW, MDNI

Virgin Laios is sooooo realistic, far more than him having any experience imo- come on, the man’s social queues are barely there to have friendships outside of falin and the party; definitely not getting anywhere near romantic or intimate until it came to you.

Virgin YOU, oh you guys are fun to write. I adore when I get to write you guys as pent up little freaks.

The two of you being nerds and barely working up to being partners is one thing, intimacy is a whole other ball game! As you mentioned, he would look at it like an “experiment” of sorts. I have no doubt that he’d acquired a couple porn mags/books from browsing the romance section with Marcille- he’s an all around learner but visuals are always nice!

The faint arousal he’d feel reading said smut (all in the name of research) is about as close as he gets to actually touching himself before he met you; someone he would trust enough to experiment with. He’s not stupid, he knows what sex is he’s just never done it before! It’s nerve-wracking and despite how bold and nonchalant this big guy can be, it still burns a blush across his pale skin up to the tips of his ears!

I also imagine that it wouldn’t be full blown sex right off the bat, more so ‘sessions’, periods of ‘study’.

Laios had it on his mind, there’s no doubt. The two of you had discussed it in passive conversations but never really.. delved into it. Both virgins who knew the respected counterpart was in the same playing field.

Imagine it as your typical one on one “study”, typical banter of ideas bouncing around.

Happened to read into mating rituals of different monsters, intently scribing the words of their anatomy into your notebooks.

“I wonder what it feels like..”

It doesn’t take a genius to know how this goes, I’ll let you imagine the scenario and conversation leading up to it.

—

It would start out with mutual masturbation, jerking off infront of eachother and observing every sweet sound that left either of your mouths. Uncut, cut, whatever you had, it didn’t matter or keep the slick sounds from furnishing the room.

Moving on, breaking the barrier of only touching yourselves-

You’d pump each others dicks together, trying to match the pace of the others hand- it wasn’t a race, neither of you lasted long regardless.

FROTTING.

Rubbing your dicks against each other, the friction far more satisfying than a hand could be- unknowingly building your staminas with the desperate ruts against each other.

He was the first to take the plunge into oral, having slyly tasted himself or even you from what dribbled onto his fingers. It was intoxicating, that’s putting it lightly.

Of course, no experience means there was lots of training needed. ‘Research’ as he’d say, trying to learn how to control his gag reflex, trying to keep himself from instinctively biting down just because something was in his mouth. You tasted so good though, he couldn’t help himself so expect teeth dragging across you- whether you’re into it or not, you don’t have a choice early on. And vice-versa of course! Maybe without the infatuation with the taste of him, well.. maybe just not to the degree he experiences..

But when you end up on the giving end, he’s white knuckled and baring down on his shirt to keep himself quiet- expect big loads from this guy. And expect them to come quick.

Now, down to the nitty and gritty. Because that’s what it is.

All the porn and smutty stories could only prepare you so much for the feeling of your ass being metaphorically torn open.

You’re the first to try it out, admitting to having tried to play with your ass in the past but never getting anywhere. It was slow, painfully so. Tears in your eyes and Laios clutching his jaw painfully tight to keep himself from busting with just the head of his dick inside.

When it came to him, obviously he knew what and how to prepare after the fiasco you experienced..(poor you). Came with far more lube and had read about how to ‘open’ himself up to make it easier.

And he adored how it felt.

It was better than feeling full off of his favourite meal.

The two of you lasted far longer when it came to him bottoming- even if it wasn’t that long, it was progress as satisfying to the both of you.

Sessions would continue between each other.

The two of you took each others virginities, and basically all of the other firsts you’d imagine. Now that’s a job well done!

Patience, preparation, and studying rewards those who wait or whatever the saying is.

I hope we are on the same wavelength, if not tell me more about what your thoughts are- I’d loveeee to hear them.

[mistressroxielove]

Hey everyone~ I got some more stuff for ya~

Long story short, I've discovered the new Fairly Oddparents reboot, absolutely loved it and was inspired to make this AU idea for the show! With a slight reimagine/redesign of the characters as well.

Here's some more info about my AU:

Fairly Odd Parents AU/Rewrite

Au Name: FairlyOdd Brother

Summary:

Perri (previously known as Poof) recently graduated from Fairy Godparents School and is eager to start granting Wishes for his very own godchild! Only problem is that with his lack of experience Jorgen is weary of giving him an assignment and keeps finding excuses/reasons to not give him a godkid. Realizing it might be a 1,000 years before they give him a chance to be a Fairy Godparent, Perri decides he needs to be a little bold and perhaps, bend Da Rules, to get his foot in the door so to speak. And his answer comes to him from a new neighbor in his human home, a family with a sweet shy 10 year old girl who is absolutely miserable. Perhaps Perri might be able to offer this girl a little comfort and fun as her new Fairy Godbrother!?

(Basically the same premise of the show, except Perri’s first godchild is Hazel, and through a technicality in the rule book, becomes her god brother instead of her godparent.)

ALSO please note this AU is more of a slight reimagine of the original show, meaning I did tweaked / changed some of the characters personality to match the new story I made for them. Nothing majorly different, but again just a heads up before you read on. Hope you like it~

Name: Devin “Dev” Dimmadome 

Age: 9/almost 10

Sex: Male

Physical Description: 

Is basically the same as in the show, though there are a few key differences. 

-Despite having slicked back hair he always has a single strand that no matter what always sticks out, he hates it and is always trying to move it back into place but to no avail. In reality without the hair product he has natural curly hair like his father, though his curls are a little more difficult to comb and manage than his father, something that he doesn’t like about himself

-Has freckles! But always wears makeup to cover them as according to Dale’s research are ’less desirable’ and would statistically do better with them covered up

-Also has heterochromia, one blue and one green eye, but always wears either a blue or green contacts to hide his ‘flaw’, again being told to do so by his father

- Though he is always required to wear a branded white hoodie, Dale actually lets him wear whatever shirt he wants underneath, just with the promise Dev never takes his sweater off in public. Dev usually wears all sorts of geeky and nerdy shirts, mostly love meridian and Crimson Chin related stuff, it's the closes thing he’s allowed to wear ‘freely’ without requiring his father’s approval. Again this ‘freedom’ is kinda pointless since he still has to wear the hoodie, but he still appreciates it.   

-As you can see in the photo above I showed what he looks typically on the left, and on the right is basically what Dev would dress like if he had no rules or restrictions.

Personality: 

It's basically exactly the same as in the show, I really like Dev both in a story sense and a comedic sense so nothing to really change. The only slight difference is that Dev in this version clearly gets a crush on Hazel in this version. I think the show is ‘hinting’ of them possibly being a couple later on, but in my version I wanted to make it a little more clear that he has a subconscious crush on her. Basically think Anya and Damion from Spy x Family if you want a good example. He likes her, but being a 10 year old boy with severe daddy issues has no idea how to handle this and ends up being kinda mean to his regret. 

Other fun facts:

-I won’t get into it now, but his relationship with his father is a bit different, as I have a unique take on Dale and who he is as a person. I’ll probably draw him next but for now just know Dale isn’t an evil heartless father and there’s more to him than it seems, and thus the relationship between Dale and Dev is a little more complex.

-And yes though it isn’t important yet, he does end up getting Cosmo and Wanda as his fairy godparents instead of Hazel as the AU would suggest.

- In this version Peri is also not a big fan of Dev. As he obviously doesn’t like how he’s mean to her at first, but as they become friends and Peri soon realizes that Dev has a crush on Hazel this leaves Peri horrified at the thought. And of course being a proper big brother is completely against and despises the idea of Dev and Hazel ever ending up together. He’s not too over the top about his dislike, but definitely would be sitting in to conor with his arms crossed, while trying to subtly tell Hazel she could do soooooooo much better than him.   

I hope you guys like this, I'm personally really happy with how this design turned out, especially his 'real Dev' design on the right. But I would love to hear your guys thoughts and opinions about my designs. Do you like them, hate them? Feel free to tell me below.

Also tomorrow I'll post a version of this photo with a transparent BG and maybe upclose shots of the design as well, just so you can see the design easier without the BG

Previous - Next

[mrsshabana]

Patient!Gyutaro x Nurse!Reader - CHAPTER 1

Chapter 2

✦ CW: 18+ MDNI, female reader. Mentions of mental illness, suicide, and sexual abuse of a minor. This fic has many dark themes, please do not read unless you are comfortable!

✦ AN: The long awaited nurse au is finally here! Sorry it took me so long, but I wanted to make sure it was perfect. Lots of thought and research went into making this fic. There will also be art included in this chapter!

✦ WC: 2,146

This is what you should have expected from a job in the medical field that didn’t require much qualifications. Working at an asylum wasn’t ideal, but they are incredibly desperate for new nurses. As most of them are unable to handle the physical and mental toll that a place like this puts on someone. 

It’s your first day at your new job. You were excited until you entered the building. The dreary interior mixed with the groans and screams of unruly patients wasn’t the welcome that you had been hoping for.

You’re young, almost too young to be working at a place like this. The other nurses didn’t take you seriously, and they were going to make the transition for you more difficult than it needed to be. You were being assigned to a patient that is notorious for being difficult to work with. The other nurses use him to weed out the weak. Always shifting the new hires to care for him. They usually leave within the first week, so his care returns to one of the veteran nurses known for having a mind of steel. She’s cold hearted, but that helps you deal with a job like this. The complete opposite of you. A warm young woman, eager to treat and rehabilitate.

Currently you are being led to your new patient. Quickly scanning over his records as you follow the nurse through the halls of the sanatorium.

Rashomon Riverbank Asylum

Patient Record

Name: Shabana, Gyutaro

Identification Data: Sex: Male Age: 23 Height: 6’ 3” Weight: 134

Race: Asian Hair: Black Eye: Blue

Special Handling Code: Code Red; Keep medicated Special Handling Instructions: Keep away from sharp objects

Medical History: Multiple suicide attempts, Complications due to sickle cell anemia, Treated for Congenital Syphilis

Diagnoses: Sickle Cell Anemia Hutchinson’s Teeth Borderline Personality Disorder Antisocial Personality Disorder Depression Insomnia

Current Medical Treatment: Special diet for weight gain Medications given AM & PM

Medications: Wellbutrin - 100 mg twice daily Abilify - 10 mg once daily Carbamazepine - 350 mg twice daily Xanax - 2 mg twice daily Trazodone - 150 mg once daily Voxelotor - 500 mg once daily Adakveo - 5 mg IV infusion once every 4 weeks

Gyutaro Shabana, your very first patient at Rashomon Riverbank Asylum. Looking over his record, this is going to be a difficult one. You’ve learned about a majority of these diagnoses in college, so you have a good idea about the kind of treatment he will require. It’s strange though, he seems to have lost the genetic lottery. And you haven't even seen his face yet, you can only imagine what he may look like.

An asian man with sickle cell anemia is almost unheard of, roughly 0.0022%. And on top of that he was born with Congenital Syphilis. It’s quite frankly amazing that he’s lived past 20.

“Just introduce yourself, then I’ll take you to your other patients,” the other nurse says as she stops in front of his door. 

Not wanting to be impolite, you hesitantly knock on his door. There’s no response. You figured that there wouldn’t be, so you open the door anyways.

“Hello, Mr. Shabana?” you say coyly.

When you peek into the room, you are instantly frozen by his icy gaze. He’s sitting on his bed with a book in his lap. His cold blue eyes send shivers down your spine.

“I’m um… I’m your new nurse.” you choke out. He’s feet away from you but you feel as though his hands have a tight grasp around your throat.

“My name is Y/N. Um… If you ever need anything d-don’t hesitate to call for me…”

The expression on his face is unchanging, as he remains silent.

“Well I’ll see you later tonight Mr. Shabana…”

Closing the door, breaking the line of sight that he had on you, instantly you feel a surge of relief.

You go on to visit the rest of your patients, then you come back later that night to give Mr. Shabana his dinner. A high protein meal, specifically for weight gain.

Knocking on the door a few times before you push it open, “Mr. Shabana, I have your dinner.”

He’s in the same spot where you left him, sitting on his bed with a book in his lap. But this time he doesn’t even bother to look at you when you enter the room.

Stepping closer to place the food tray on his table, you inspect his appearance. 

His clothes hang off of his frame, enveloping his skeletal body. You can make out lean muscles on his arms, but his face is sunken and his pants hang low on his hips. There are large black marks scattered across his face, and you can barely see one peeking out from below his sleeve. Were these marks from his Congenital Syphilis? Dark circles sit below his eyes, he looks as though he hasn’t slept in weeks.

He’s wearing the standard issue uniform that all patients wear. A plain t-shirt and pants, made of the same material as scrubs. Though his feet are bare, slippers sitting below the edge of the bed. His hair is long and wavy. Black as midnight, unruly in the way it hangs in front of his face. The top of his hair is half haphazardly tied up.

“Got a problem…?” He rasps, drawing out each word.

The venom of his sour tongue sends a jolt of electricity through your skin. 

“Huh?” you’ve been sitting there staring at him for too long, “O-oh! I’m sorry sir! There’s no problem, please enjoy your dinner,” you quickly rush out of the room.

As you continue on giving food to the rest of your patients, Mr. Shabana’s voice echoes through your skull.

Got a problem…? Got a problem…? Got a problem…?

A few hours later, you go back to retrieve the tray and whatever food may have not been eaten. Stopping yourself before you open the door. It’s ok. He’s just a patient. Then why does he make you so nervous?

*Knock knock*

“Hello Mr. Shabana, I’m just here to collect your tray,” you chime, masking your fear with a smile.

Walking back into the dimly lit room, the fluorescent lights flickering. His eyes staring into you.

His food has been untouched. The only thing that was eaten was a packaged cookie.

“Not hungry today?” your voice shakes as you try to ignore his harsh gaze.

He remains silent. Watching you as you step closer. The buzzing of the fluorescent bulbs filling the room, filling your brain with static.

“Was it not to your liking? I can have the cooks make something else for you if you’d like.”

“...”

Your eyes meet. His thin eyebrows furrow, the rest of his expression remains unchanging. The pressure of his glare makes the air around you feel heavy. Pressing down on you, compressing your spine, you feel so small when he looks at you. You’re desperate to fill the cold aura with some warmth.

“Mr. Shabana you really should eat-”

*CRASH*

He slaps the tray out of your hand, food splattering onto your uniform, dripping onto the floor. 

Silence. You’re stuck staring down at your feet. Watching the pool of meat, vegetables, and milk spread around you. It takes you a few moments to fully process what has just happened, only able to snap out of it when you feel the wetness of the food seeping through your skirt, making you feel cold.

You regret looking up at him. Regret meeting his eyes. Filled with amusement.

“You better clean that up… don’t chu think…?” He smirks. Showing his sharp canines and crooked teeth.

“I-I…” you mumble, looking back down at the mess. He’s right, you should clean it up before it gets everywhere.

Going into the hallway, you grab some towels and return to his room. Not thinking your next actions through as you get down on all fours and start picking up the mess. All you want to do is hurry and clean this up so you can leave. But Mr. Shabana has different plans.

He slowly stands up. Looming over you, looking down on you with a twisted grin. He’s so tall… he makes you feel so small as you look up at him. So pathetic. So worthless.

“You look good down there…” he steps on your hand, “On your knees like a whore…”

His words leave you speechless. Your vision begins to blur and your heart starts to race. He pushes his weight further onto your hand, until you feel a crack.

“I’d like to see you like this more often…” he chuckles, the sound rumbling in his hollow chest.

Every instinct within your body is screaming at you to run. But you feel so trapped. So paralyzed by him. Like a rabbit cornered against a wall by a vicious predator. His eyes. It’s his eyes. No, it's his touch. It’s… everything about him. 

You try to speak up, but your words escape you. Coming out in a pathetic whine that makes his grin widen and his laughter intensify. 

He’s reaching for you. His hand is coming towards your face. Your mind is telling you that if you let him get any closer you will die. He will kill you. And he won’t even care.

Your body is pumped with enough adrenaline for you to break free from the physical and psychological hold he had on you.

Pulling your hand away from under his foot, you push yourself backwards. Stumbling to stand up on your feet. You run out of the room and through the halls, not risking looking back at him. All you hear as you escape is his laughter on repeat. You can’t tell if his laughter is echoing through the halls, or if it has just been ingrained into your mind.

You keep running until you get back to the nurses quarters and to your room. 

Tears running down your cheeks, food staining your clothes, and pain throbbing in your hand. You collapse on the floor and cry.

Why would he be so cruel? You understand that he’s a patient and has a list of mental illnesses, but you were trying to help him! You can’t even remember what you were doing or why you were in his room. All you remember is him and how he made you feel. His stare. His voice. His touch. 

Fuck him and fuck this job.

Clambering over to your desk, you immediately start writing your resignation letter.

You don’t get paid enough for this shit. All you wanted to do is help people, and you get repaid with this? It’s just not worth it. Through your sobs, your tears fall onto the page as you hastily move your pen on the piece of parchment in front of you.

There. It’s done. You’re done.

You won’t have to see this place, see him, ever again once you submit this letter.

Looking around your desk, searching for an envelope. You come across a thick manilla folder. The tab on the side reads, Shabana, Gyutaro.

Something compels you to open it. You already skimmed through his information, but you never looked at everything here.

His psychiatric notes? From his psychiatrist? These shouldn’t be in here… you shouldn’t have access to this confidential information.

But if you’re leaving anyways… then there’s no harm. Right?

Shabana, Gyutaro - Dr. Hantengu

August 14

Childhood trauma starting since birth

Single mother, no father

Raised as a female. Mother would dress patient as a daughter. Would cover up his deformities with makeup. (Feelings of worthlessness, not belonging)

Sister born at age 6 (turning point in patient’s life)

Mother cast aside patient for sister. (When he learned he was actually a boy. Feeling of confusion. Child cannot comprehend)

Sexual abuse started at age 10

Mother was a prostitute, would offer children to adult clients.

 Patient record, “She would bring men into our house… and let them touch us. (long pause) They wanted my sister. They wanted to do bad things to her. So I… (patient gets upset) I would offer myself to them. I would perform sexual acts for them so they would leave Ume (sister) alone.”

Sexual abuse continued until age 15

Mother died of overdose. The children were left in the home for over a week until someone found them.

Children taken to orphanage. 

Patient held in orphanage for 8 months until incident.

Brought to Asylum at age 16

End of first session 

You are left speechless. 

Reading his records reminds you of why you wanted to be a nurse in the first place. To help people that have gone through trauma such as this. He didn’t lash out at you because of something you did. It’s not your fault. And it isn’t his either. He just needs help. 

And you will be the one to help him.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi! Really enjoyed the Harry is gay post, very well researched! Are there any other characters in the series you would also think are gay? Don't wanna say anyone just yet, just want your unfiltered opinion

Hi!

Thank you so much!

Can't say I have other characters I feel as strongly about their sexual preferences. A large part of it is what Harry chooses to pay attention to. So, I don't have much evidence for anyone else, but I can say who I think is likelier to be gay (or at least not straight) from textual evidence. Some of them go into headcanon territory, but here they are, off the top of my head and in no particular order:

1. Dumbledore and Grindelwald

I'm pretty sure these two are canon, so I don't need to say much. But:

“Yes, even after they’d spent all day in discussion—both such brilliant young boys, they got on like a cauldron on fire—I’d sometimes hear an owl tapping at Gellert’s bedroom window, delivering a letter from Albus! An idea would have struck him, and then he had to let Gellert know immediately!”

(DH, pages 308-309)

Gellert— .... (This was your mistake at Durmstrang! But I do not complain, because if you had not been expelled, we would never have met.) Albus

(DH, pages 309)

“Grindelwald. And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to someone just as bright and talented he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in.

(DH, pages 480)

2. Sirius Black

I think Sirius might've been gay, or at least bi. It goes into headcanon territory, but I think Sirius used to be in love with James. He just always gave me that vibe. (I don't think they were ever a thing, I think Sirius took his feelings for James with him to his grave).

Here are some quotes that gave me the feeling Sirius is not interested in anyone but James:

Harry saw Sirius give James the thumbs-up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’s nor Harry’s could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn’t seem to have noticed.

(OOTP, page 642)

“He kept messing up his hair,” said Harry in a pained voice. Sirius and Lupin laughed. “I’d forgotten he used to do that,” said Sirius affectionately.

(OOTP, page 670)

Plus, Sirius' general fixation on James and his constant reminiscence about him. And the two-way mirror they made just for them cause they couldn't handle an hour apart in detention:

This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.

(OOTP, page 858)

But we don't really know about any romantic interests Sirius may have had. So, it's more of a headcanon than anything.

3. Dean Thomas

I think Dean Thomas is bi (not gay, I think he did like Ginny). And I have only one qoute evidence for it, but it's a really funny one and I don't think I've seen anyone mention it so I'll put it here:

He certainly wasn’t the only one who was sorry to see Professor Lupin go. The whole of Harry’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class was miserable about his resignation. “Wonder what they’ll give us next year?” said Seamus Finnigan gloomily. “Maybe a vampire,” suggested Dean Thomas hopefully.

(POA, page 429)

Dean Thomas clearly read whatever 1990s version of Twilight that exists in the HP universe and wants a love triangle paranormal romance with a werewolf and a vampire.

4. Draco Malfoy

I think he was a little too obsessed with Harry. Like, I don't actually ship Drarry, but I can definitely confess Draco was way too interested in Harry for it to not appear a little gay.

He rummaged in his trunk up in the luggage rack and pulled out the miniature figure of Viktor Krum. “Oh wow,” said Neville enviously as Ron tipped Krum onto his pudgy hand. “We saw him right up close, as well,” said Ron. “We were in the Top Box —” “For the first and last time in your life, Weasley.” Draco Malfoy had appeared in the doorway. Behind him stood Crabbe and Goyle, his enormous, thuggish cronies, both of whom appeared to have grown at least a foot during the summer. Evidently they had overheard the conversation through the compartment door, which Dean and Seamus had left ajar. “Don’t remember asking you to join us, Malfoy,” said Harry coolly.

(GOF, page 168)

Draco literally comes to find Harry on the train, uninvited, every year (except 6th). Throughout their time at school, he also makes an active effort to seek out Harry to a level that is kind of ridiculous. It always looked to me like Draco was desperate for any sort of attention from Harry.

Harry looked down at the hawthorn wand that had once belonged to Draco Malfoy. He had been surprised, but pleased to discover that it worked for him at least as well as Hermione’s had done.

(DH, page 444)

Considering how loyal unicorn hair wands like Draco's are, it seems Dravo feels more friendly about Harry than he likes to pretend.

5. Aunt Muriel

It sounds weird, I know, but I have a reason here. So, Muriel is from the same generation as Dumbledore, more or less, from her words in DH. And we know, back then she had expectations to marry and have children as a (seemingly) pure-blood witch. Those expectations would've been prevalent when she was a young woman in the early 20th century, even among the less blood-purist families.

The fact that she didn't seem to have settled down with a husband and children implies she wasn't interested in doing so. This allows a reading of her as either interested in women or not interested in sex or marriage in general.

6. Alphard Black & Cassiopeia Black

For the same reasons as Muriel. Neither Cassiopeia (born 1915) nor Alphard, Sirius' godfather (born circa 1927-ish) married or had children. This is something that would be expected of them, so the reading of them as not straight is very plausible.

So, that's it. These are all the characters that off the top of my head I could give textual evidence for a not straight reading of. I don't have as much evidence, and that's why I consider this more headcanon than theory. Obviously, people can headcanon wherever, these are just the ones that I could recall evidence for.

[whoistartaglia]

sweet talk

based on sweet talk by saint motel.

alhaitham x gn! reader

alhaitham is not one to pull his punches, not even with you.

presently, you lounge in alhaitham’s office, seated incorrectly, with your legs over the arms of the chair and back against the other side, in front of alhaitham’s desk. the scholar watches as you flip nonsensically through a scriba, your eyes barely skimming the page, before you toss it on the desk. it lands in the middle of a hurricane of documents and open books, and nearly topples over an inkwell.

“can i assume this book too has lost your interest?” alhaitham says, picking it up himself. he fights the urge to roll his eyes. a romance novel, of course. when you first came marching in his office, ignoring the plaque on his door of “leave me alone” (though in much more “professional” language), you claimed the novel was a dissertation, and that you needed a nice, quiet place to work. the library, you claimed, was too packed with students studying for finals and working on their own reseatch papers. alhaitham allowed you to begrudgingly take residence in his office. yet flipping through the novel know, alhaitham realizes he should have known better.

“naturally,” you reply, hopping off the chair. “i’m so bored and there’s nothing to do.”

“what about your research?”

you make a face like you bit into a lemon.

“i would rather read that entire book to you upside-down and backwards.”

now it’s alhaitham’s turn to make a face. his is bitter like he downed a black coffee, no sugar, no milk, except that you know better; alhaitham probably has those on the daily and enjoys them.

alhaitham pretends to think, then snaps his fingers when the idea comes to him.

“you could always leave,” he says, quite pleased with himself.

you roll your eyes. “ha-ha. very funny.”

“i wasn’t joking,” alhaitham replies, tossing your novel to the corner of his desk. “you are always welcome to go, [name]. right now especially. i’ll even walk you to the door.”

this has the opposite of alhaitham’s intended effect. what he wanted was your sour expression to deepen, lips puckering and brows furrowing, not the absolutely sweet and beaming smile that has replaced it.

“what a lovely idea!” you say, clasping your hands together. “unfortunately, i will have to decline your generous offer for a walk today. i feel i’m just too tired.” you make a point of sitting back down, on his desk this time, and dangling your feet off the edge. you look over you shoulder to grin at him, and it doesn’t even falter at alhaitham’s visible confusion.

this isn’t the first time his harsh words haven’t the slightest negative effect on you. the scribe, for all his intelligence and determination, can’t figure out why. if he said those same words to anyone else, they would have run out of his office with their tail between their legs. but not you.

short of telling you to piss off and go away, alhaitham does not know what could actually deter you—and even then, he feels him saying that would only further encourage you. between this and his research, alhaitham can’t tell which is the harder nut to crack, though he’s leaning towards the former.

“i’m going to take a break,” alhaitham announces, standing up and heading towards the door. the latter is at a standstill, and he’d rather return to it later than brute-forcing his way through it now.

“great idea,” you say, hopping off the desk. “where are we going? on a walk?”

“well, i am,” alhaitham says, “but didn’t you say your legs were hurting?”

“oh!” you pause and think very quickly. “they’re all better now—unless you want to carry me. then i have no objections.” this earns you an amused snort, but you figure that if alhaitham really doesn’t want you to come, he wouldn’t be opening the door in front of you like he is now.

“is there anything i can say to deter you?” he wonders aloud.

you think for a second, walking out of the office. alhaitham keeps pace next to you as you travel down the halls.

“i’m not sure. you could always send the matra after me. but even if you told me to drop dead, i wouldn’t care.”

“i didn’t realize i was such a sweet talker,” alhaitham mutters, more to himself than to you. you simply smile up at him, and when you ask him to repeat himself because you didn’t hear, alhaitham just smiles and shakes his head.

alhaitham isn’t one to pull his punches, and he likes to think it’s the same with you. but you smile so sweetly that the sourness and bitterness from earlier fades, and alhaitham finds himself wondering if there was ever a punch to be pulled in the first place.

[taradactyls]

The research that went into the Chapter 40 journey from London to Pemberley, as promised. With photos, maps, and a tangent or two!

I wanted to sprinkle in a few names of real places into Elizabeth’s journey, similarly to Pride and Prejudice, but for that I had to do some research. In the book she and the Gardiners take a scenic route further to the west, whereas this needs to be more direct, so I couldn’t copy those references. Unfortunately, we don’t know the way that they returned from Pemberley after Lydia’s elopement, because most of that would be the same (reversed) as what I needed.

So, I set out to find out what would be plausible.

‘Aw, the author did a little bit of research, that’s nice,’ you might think.

No. I did an excessive amount of research. Of the ‘it has consumed my entire soul and I need to know this information even though it’s barely relevant’ variety. When the toddlers went to bed and I was too tired to write, I did this. For weeks. It was basically the only time I could devote to this story, as the illnesses going around prevented me having time to actually write.

For context, I had ZERO background knowledge on this topic, and my first google search was to find out where Derbyshire is in relation to London.

Luckily, there was a road that seemed the most obvious direct route! But, following it closely to see what was nearby, I saw it avoided most of the villages; which is the exact opposite of what horse drawn carriages (which need to rest and water the horses, or switch them out entirely) would do. Sure enough, the M1 is a 20th Century road. So, then I went down the rabbit hole of seeing if the A5 or anything like that has older roots (it does) but after some more research into 18/19th C roads I realised I should be looking for turnpike roads/Post roads. Whichhhhh don’t exist in that form anymore.

And that’s where the fun began.

Warning, for a VERY long post.

FINDING THE RIGHT TURNPIKE ROADS

I couldn’t find an online list of which modern roads used to be turnpike roads, because it turns out they were managed in sections by turnpike trusts. And so, one half of a road might not be one and then the other half would but perhaps broken up into three different sections managed by different trusts (or the same trust but still separately, because local management was easier, I imagine).

I mostly wanted maps though, so that wasn’t a problem. Then I started searching for maps… and searching… and searching…

Basically, I looked at a lot and met a lot of dead ends but I’ll share some of the stuff that was useful.

I found a source which is all about research into turnpike roads and has an 1830 map.

But the map doesn’t have much detail so I can’t really tell much. Still, if you want to learn about turnpike roads have a look. I tried to compare it to other maps to see if I could figure out where those roads were but it just wasn’t detailed enough for me to be sure.

Then I found this old map of English towns and roads:

Which is comprehensive and amazing except for being blurry as anything when you zoom in, but does help give me a basic idea of what existed (though doesn’t specify turnpike vs … normal? roads). And I was able to track basic paths and use other maps and google maps to help me actually read the names of places. But It’s absolutely going on my wish list (along with that map of 1804 London I’ve linked before) of things I would like to have full sized posters for if I ever have space for a study. If I start writing regency novels as an actual occupation (around when I started this fic I also began planning a P&P sequel trilogy – though something tells me this fic might end up with nearly as many words as the whole trilogy combined) I shall insist I need the maps for work.

Anyway,

I eventually stumbled onto the pot of gold!!! Maps for each county with the roads and towns clearly marked! The dates are not all there, so I can’t say it’s 100% accurate, but it feels better than my other options.

(Not posting individual images of each county because you’ll see them altogether later, but I do recommend checking them out if you find this interesting, there’s places mentioned there that get omitted in bigger maps.)

I cross referenced with this map:

To double check they’re post roads (aka they had stops every 10 miles or so to switch out horses, and I did my best to find villages that had post houses or coaching inns).

Of course, those detailed images of counties are all separate, and for my own sanity I need to see how they link up. Going back to google maps to see what counties I would need I pretty quickly noticed discrepancies between the map borders and google maps. Turns out the counties changed in 1974. So, I had to go find an old map of British counties. That was the easiest part of my research, and I used this one:

Using that, I decided to print out, with a view of physically sticking them together: Middlesex, Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Bedfordshire, Northamptonshire, Warwickshire, Leicestershire and Rutland, Staffordshire, and finally Derbyshire. Because when the map you want doesn’t exist, sometimes you just have to collage together your own.

THEN, of course, it was brought forcibly to my awareness when I tried to make the different borders align, that old maps often have inaccuracies.

There were little knobbly protruding bits of counties that were claimed by both neighbours in their individual maps, and random gaps which weren’t claimed by any. Counties were too long or too wide and sometimes too just entirely distorted to make the borders fit together as they should, and then the alignment of the roads would sometimes not match the alignment of the physical characteristics and it would get even messier.

I gave up on that idea less than halfway through cutting and sticky taping them together.

But all was not lost! Husband has a photoshop account through his work! I have a very basic understanding of photoshop thanks to taking graphics in high school, another one-off lesson for a Communications elective at uni, and then experience with similar programs for digital art. My confidence thus knew no bounds and I was certain I could photoshop a suitable map together in 30mins or so!

I was half right: I absolutely made the map, but it took me a few hours one night and I went to bed late.

We must all suffer for our craft, and sometimes my craft is niche research that I refuse to simplify BECAUSE I’VE COME TOO FAR TO GIVE UP NOW AND I WILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE SUNK COSTS FALLACY TODAY!

Here is my beauty:

(You can see I didn’t care about all the dates and names of the turnpikes, but if you do, definitely click the link above which has the counties individually. It also gives you an idea of just how the same road could be divided into multiple trusts.)

I had to warp and stretch some counties pretty drastically to make them jig-saw together enough to be useable, and when clashes between making the roads or the borders line up I prioritised the roads. Seeing them aligned was the whole point of this, after all, but if you look closely, you can see some weird spots between counties where there’s a void or overlap from not quite matching up properly.

I printed this off and did some highlighting of potential routes from London to Derby, which I figured they would probably pass through on the way to Pemberley (more on that later). I ended up with a few slight variations which are all, to the best of my knowledge, feasible options. There seemed to be mostly an obvious route with options for variation, which I labelled option a, option b, etc. (this will help you understand my notes later). If road quality, or inn quality, etc., would create a decided favourite in late winter of 1812 nothing had popped up in my research and, honestly, did I really want to open that can of worms after all the hassle just to get to this point?

I then took my highlighted routes, and kept the individual maps of the counties, and the really huge complete one of Great Britain, up on my computer so I could zoom in for greater detail, and went to Google maps. I had to do a lot of cross-referencing with the various old maps with google maps so I could figure out which roads I were meant to be following, since not only have their names often changed but the settlements along the way have considerably changed in shape too. I felt a little bit like I was doing forensic work to identify what in the old maps lined up with the modern day, especially in places like Leicester which have grown so much larger in the 200+ years since. It was very satisfying when I was able to find the roads I needed.

There were three things I determined would decide which route I went with:

Was there a village (and better yet, evidence of a coaching inn) every 10-15 miles?

Did this route remain consistent with Pemberley being 150 miles from London?

Does it have interesting places I can mention in the narrative?

I started with the first two, since they were the options which could veto pathways or mark them for further research. I figured that out by going onto google maps and using the measuring tool, and then jotting down my notes in a word document. This is what one optional path from that research looks like:

Route a)

Edgeware 9 miles

Stanmore 10-11 miles

Watford 16 miles

St Albans is 22 miles

Redbourn 27

Flamstead 30

Markyate 31

Dunstable 34-36

Hockcliffe 39 miles

a)d)

Woburn 44

Woburn Sands

Newport Pagnell 53 miles

Stoke Goldington 57

Horton 61 miles

Hackleton 62

Northampton 67 miles

a)d)e)

Chapel Brampton 72 miles

Spratton 75

Creaton 76

Thornby 79

Welford 82 miles

Husbands Bosworth 85 miles

Arnesby 91 miles

Leicester 100 miles

To Derby following a)d)e)

Mountsorrel 106 miles

Quorndon (Quorn now) 108 miles

Loughborough 110 miles

Hathern 113

Kegworth 117 miles

River Trent 120 miles (actual river, and means definitively in Derbyshire)

Shardlow 121 miles

Derby 127

I fairly quickly learn that pretty much every option I had drawn on the map could work with both the distance and requirement to change horses, so I definitely would not declare that the route I ended up choosing is *the* route Mr Darcy would travel up to Pemberley on. My choice came down to what locations I thought were cool and useful.

As a side note: during this plotting of the miles on the map and keeping track of every 10-12 miles, I was initially very surprised by something.

Without fail, no matter how blank the countryside had been, there would be a village or larger town there. It really made me realise for the first time just how much English settlements along throughfares grew because of the needs of horses. It makes total sense, travel times stayed largely the same and reliant on horses or feet for thousands of years until trains, but it never occurred to me. It’s so entirely different to my own city, Brisbane (yes, the one from Bluey).

With Australia being such a recently colonised country the permanent British settlement that became Brisbane wouldn’t even come into being for more than a decade after the events of Pride and Prejudice. It would be decades more until the penal colony became big enough to warrant a proper name and municipality. Even Australia only officially became a country instead of a colony in 1901. As the best way to reach Brisbane from the other colonies (like Sydney) was by boat, consideration for horses travelling really hasn’t dictated much here. Instead of different settlements within (at least) about 10 miles of another we ended up with basically one settlement surrounded by vast amounts of farmland and nothing else the settlers considered civilisation (we all know how native peoples were viewed by colonising nations).

The fact that we didn’t have another settlement 10 miles (or really, at all,) nearby meant that that extensive farmland ended up being included as part of the Brisbane city border – which is why area-wise Brisbane is the third largest city in the world despite our population not even getting to three million. Even without traffic I could easily drive for an hour in one direction from my home and still be within Brisbane.

Looking at all these tiny English villages so reliably spaced just feels like a whole different planet to me. And crossing so many shires! From Brisbane to the top of Queensland (our state) is a 31-hour drive along direct highway. Which, for context for my American and European readers, Google Maps says is the same driving time (not distance) as London to Greece, or New York to Montana. Size wise, Queensland (which is our 2nd largest state) is 215 times the size of North Yorkshire, more than 3 times larger than France, over 100,000km2 larger than Alaska, and more than 2.6 times larger than Texas. I’ve never before really understood that Australia (and parts of the USA) don’t adhere to the old rules of human settlements and travel because our cities are crazy new.

Well, now we all know. Back to the research.

With a focus on information about the actual places near my potential routes, I returned to google maps, zoomed in real, real close, still using the measuring tool so I could keep track of every 10-15 miles, and noted every landmark and village that popped up. I was then doing lots of googling and searching Wikipedia to discover what I could about each location so I could figure out which one I preferred to use. I learnt a lot, particularly that English villages are very proud of how many Indian restaurants they have and often list it on their Wikipedia page, but I only recorded the bits I felt might be relevant to the story. Here’s an exert of my notes with that research when added to the distances:

Day 1 (more exploring allowed)

Edgeware 9 miles

Stanmore 10-11 miles

Watford 16 miles

St Albans is 22 miles

Lizzy seen before. Casually mention St Michael’s church and the ruins

They then follow the old roman road of Watling Street (to Hockcliffe?)

Redbourn 27

(important coaching station – ‘Owing to its proximity to London, Redbourn became an important coaching station in the 17th and 18th centuries, and it was known as the "Street of Inns", with at least 25 pubs and inns at its peak.’)

Talk about stopping for a meal here? Mention Dunstable might serve better, for it has the chalk escarpments?

Flamstead 30

Markyate 31

Markyate's position on Watling Street made it a coaching stop on the stagecoach routes from London to Birmingham and Holyhead, especially after the road was upgraded by Thomas Telford in the early 1800s, when it became known as the Holyhead Road. At one point Markyate had over forty inns and public houses along the main road.

Dunstable 34-36

has chalk escarpments (Chilton Hills/Dunstable Downs)

with barrows!! (though maybe too far south?)

Highest point in Bedfordshire (at the time? Pre changed borders?)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunstable_Downs

market town

priory

very ancient façade

where Henry VIII’s annulment from Catherine was delared

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunstable_Priory

They think they might as well explore here a long time because there is nothing more exciting awaiting them in their final two stops for the day

Hockcliffe 39 miles (where they leave Watling Road?)

Woburn 44

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woburn,_Bedfordshire

Near Woburn Abbey (Family seat of the Duke of Bedford) Darcy could show no inclination to see it – though Elizabeth knows she might have if she were travelling with others. As she does not much mind seeing stately homes she does not care. Could tease him about whether he’s worried that a duke’s home will make his own seem unimpressive? Mention his uncle doesn’t like John Russell, 6th Duke of Bedford due to clashing in the past in the house of Lords

During the English Civil War, the Cavaliers burned down much of the town and in 1724 a third fire destroyed much of the town, which was rebuilt in the Georgian style that remains today

 important staging post on the London–Newport Pagnell–Northampton turnpike. The town had 27 inns and the first 24-hour post office outside London. 

Bolded locations are where I theorised made the most sense to change the horses. I did this more casual research for multiple places, and then once I’d decided which was the most enticing for me, I had my turnpike roads from London to Derbyshire. Now I had to make it interesting.

THE LOCATIONS I CHOSE TO SHOW

First, I did the whole confirmed route again in google maps with more in-depth research. This involved a lot of google street view, as well as finding local webpages for villages and the more historical buildings. I have now virtually driven through dozens of little villages and I CANNOT believe how much history and prettiness is just right there as part of everyday life??? Australia doesn’t have history like that in our random small towns or big cities (the ancient sites we do have from 60,000+ years of aboriginal Australians living here weren’t the sort the settlers would respect or even noticed in many cases during colonisation). We have amazing things that I have travelled to see, don’t get me wrong, but of a different sort than still-habited buildings and not so ingrained into our ‘normal.’

Luckily for me the English are very proud of their buildings and natural sites and this bit of research was really easy and straightforward. I’ll just show you the locations I focused on in chapter 40 (and very slight spoilers for the start of 41, too). Everything I talk about is real (though the great house with a drive straight off the village road I mention in passing no longer survives, and other things look different), so if you want to explore the places mentioned in the fic but I don’t show here, google maps and Wikipedia will help you get started. In the order that Elizabeth and Mr Darcy explored them, we have:

The Dunstable Priory

This is exactly the view of the building that I imagine they had during their conversation about the history and impressiveness of a place. It really is VERY grand.

Other views of it:

The interior has changed since the 1800s a little, but the bones of the building are the same.

The Dunstable Downs

Those are the sorts of street view photos that made me want to use it; but honestly, I don’t think I can possibly show you enough to do it justice. See what I mean?

I like hills, and that’s a good one.

The Wikipedia page has cool information about it if you want a starting point for learning more about the barrows or stuff I didn't mention.

Hardingstone Eleanor Cross

The research told me it looked a little different in the early 1800s, which is why this photo doesn’t have the Malta Cross I mention in the chapter.

Highgate House, Creaton

That’s the view from the road, on the left is where carriages would enter and that’s the front courtyard Elizabeth walked in.

And there’s the south side of the house, with the more impressive architecture that Elizabeth mentions.

Unfortunately, it’s raining in the street view photos, so you can’t see any of the countryside that Elizabeth was looking at when Mr Darcy found her, but here’s what the view of the same is from one of those upper story windows she ponders about:

Minor Places Elizabeth Sees (in chapters 40 or 41) that I Liked

The Glimpse Elizabeth got of the Newarke Gateway:

The Cavendish Bridge as I believe it was at the time (it’s been replaced twice since):

The view of the Derwent from the centre of (the then, very new) Duffield Bridge:

St Aulkmunds Church, Duffield:

Black Rocks, which Elizabeth only saw from the road but here’s the view anyway:

At the end of all that exploring as I travelled the route I ended up with google maps looking like this:

Each of those little circles is a mark I made on the map, because I really wanted the distance to check out. And honestly, I was pretty pleased at this point. It took a lot of unexpected effort to get here, but in the end I did it, and the locations and distances worked out SO satisfyingly for me. Not that it’d be noticeably different if it didn’t, but I know.

It was great to see I was following fairly closely the path of the Eleanor crosses, because it confirmed the route I chose had historical basis. To the best of my knowledge, there is nothing glaringly implausible about this being a pathway that Mr Darcy might use and thus the sights that might be seen along the way.

Of course, it’s very possibly not what Jane Austen (or someone actually living in 1812 England who has more baseline knowledge of this than me) would do. I’m confident that I did my best, but not confident that my understanding of this subject is good enough to have made me come to the right conclusions. But I am writing fiction, not history, so this level of research is sufficient for me to go on.

But now that I’ve gotten to Derbyshire, I’ve realised it’s a very big place. Derby is ‘only’ about 127 miles from London, Pemberley is 150, that’s a lot of distance that is unaccounted for.

Where would Pemberley be, based on the book’s clues and the distances possible with the research I just did?

FINDING PEMBERLEY

So, Firstly, I want to make it clear that I don’t think we will ever be able to point to a place on a map, say ‘this is where Pemberley is’ and have it work perfectly with both the book and the real world. Nor with any of the other locations which aren’t preexisting real places. As grounded in reality as Austen’s works are, they are still works of fiction, and I keep that in mind when applying real-world nuance to the locations, distances, and finances mentioned. I also generally don’t want to mess with headcanons too much, nor stray into territory where glaring errors can be made, as well as honouring that Jane Austen liked to keep locations vague.

That’s all why (in chapter 41, so very mild spoilers) I only definitively mention Duffield (5 miles North of Derby) for that last leg of the journey. Even that Black Rocks Promontory I showed you above is vaguely enough mentioned to be elsewhere. I’m happy for Pemberley to live as a place of suspended reality in my mind, but for the sake of this research I wanted to define a specific patch of Derbyshire which I would use as a vague location in my fic. Also, when it comes to research, I Have A Problem and I justified it in this case by wanting to know what was plausible just in case the only places it could be were in the south-west or north-east of Derbyshire and that might alter the pathway. This was done at the same time as a lot of the other research, but that would’ve gotten too messy to explain so I chose to detail it all here instead of interspersing it.

But how exactly to pinpoint likely locations?

Note: I am sure this is going to overlap with research others have done before me, but I have my own goals (for setting it somewhere for a fic) so I stayed away from other reasonings as I might value things differently. I’ve got to do this myself.

Luckily, Elizabeth mentions “before we left Bakewell, we understood that you were not immediately expected in the country,” (Ch. 43) so we can assume the village they discover that in, and depart from the following morning before soon reaching Pemberley and then going on to Lambton, is Bakewell. A real location!!! It’s about 22 miles north of Duffield (which checks out with the distances already measured) and puts us firmly in the peak district.

It's also just to the south-west of Chatsworth, which I calculate to be barely over 150 miles from London. Adding more credence in my mind to the idea that Jane Austen used it as her true idea of Pemberley – even though the real thing also exists in the book. But though it might be her base for Pemberley I’m not about to replace a very well known and book-canon location (though feel free to continue imagining it to be so, I don’t contradict the possibility, I even looked at Chatsworth floorplans for inspiration for describing Pemberley’s interiors) so I’m going to find what else might work.

Now, from what I could tell, Bakewell isn’t included in the modern-day ‘Chatsworth Core Estate’ (see the map on page 46).

It might not have been the case two centuries ago, but I’m going to presume it hasn’t changed, so basically, I can pick anywhere from the north-west, sweeping down west and south, until the south-east, safely without infringing upon Chatsworth. All the other, lesser-known landowners of the era we shall pretend don’t exist. I’m more going for a general area, anyway.

The Gardiners were likely travelling with considerable economy, and not changing horses every hour, so Pemberley can’t be a far distance away from there (if we want to mirror Chatsworth, 4-5 miles is best). We don’t know when they left Bakewell or arrived at Pemberley but it seems likely it was fairly early in the day, given how much time they spent there and then still drove on Lambton afterwards. So, we can look at places that are within a few hours journey from Bakewell for the Gardiners (let’s say 20 miles as an absolute maximum) and cross reference that with what is about 150 miles from London.

A brief note on the ‘150 miles’ number – the way I round numbers makes me think this is anywhere between 145-154 miles, but Jane Austen does seem to work in quarters rather than tenths, (approximately 25 miles from Meryton to London, 50 from Meryton to Rosings, 125 from Meryton to Pemberley, etc) so it might be fairer to say the distance from London is too much to be called 125 miles, but too little to be called 175. Which, assuming normal rounding of numbers, is 137-188 miles from London. For this estimation, I’m going to be sticking closer to my initial, tighter, understanding; but the possibility of the distances being broader than I interpret is worth mentioning.

Given all of those considerations, here is the area that I chose for Pemberley to be set within for the fic:

The Blue highlighted area is a general area that I think Pemberley House could be situated in, and probably Lambton too. The Estate itself can stretch beyond the borders, this is only for the house/park.

Bakewell is just above that section, and I’ve highlighted the other places mentioned in Pride and Prejudice as being part of the Northern Tour. White peak being the only option for ‘the Peak’ as far as I know. Fun fact: in my version of Pride and Prejudice (Penguins Classics 2003), and another online copy I used, Jane Austen has a spelling/consistency error by saying ‘Dovedale’ first and then ‘Dove Dale’ soon after. It’s a little comforting for me whenever I see that even my favourite author makes mistakes she misses despite all her reviews and rereads.

Anyway, there is a bit of a conflict for me with this location (as well as the location of Chatsworth, and any other places around 150 miles from London and still in the Peak District) when we take into account that Elizabeth and the Gardiners saw those highlighted places before going to Bakewell. It seems a very circuitous route, whatever order those sights are seen in. The best I can imagine is that it goes Dovedale (which I think should always be first, given the places we know they visit on their way to Derbyshire), then a more southern, partially unseen on that image, road to Matlock, followed by Chatsworth, the Peak, and turning around there and going back to Bakewell via a different road.

If Elizabeth’s trip to Derbyshire was based on the real travels of Austen or someone she knew, I don’t have knowledge of it. So, if there is a definitive pathway that’s agreed she intended to be followed that could change my deductions.

But as it is, with what I presume in mind, we might even be able to narrow down that blue area more, ruling out the most south-easterly portion because otherwise why wouldn’t they have seen Pemberley on their way to Matlock? If we were really looking for other ways to narrow it down, we might say that Dovedale and Matlock, which Elizabeth and Mr Darcy discuss at Pemberley, were the chosen subjects because they’re quite close to the house, and so that might place it in the south or south-west section of that blue area. I don’t think the latter concern does mean much: Chatsworth is also very close by but not discussed; and if Chatsworth itself is Austen’s location for Pemberley, then neither of those places are closer than the peak so the topics can’t be based on proximity. Perhaps they’re just what was seen most recently (implying an odd pathing of the Peak, Chatsworth, Matlock, Dovedale, and then way back up to Bakewell); or, as I think most likely, just mentioned to give vague specifics of the conversation and the locations chosen randomly out of all those that could be said.

And there we are.

I have a basic location for Pemberley and the journey thither that works for my fic and matches the book and the real-world as much as my knowledge of distances and turnpike roads allows. It’s not relevant enough for it to matter if you veto this idea and instil your own headcanon for Pemberley as you’re reading the fic, I certainly leave it open enough for other interpretations. But I did the research, and I must share it, because it took a lot of pain and effort to get to this point.

Thank you for sticking with me until the end, I hope you found it all interesting!

[akkivee]

The Yamada Family's Special Curry: Hypmic Curry Drama Track TL

Jiro: A curry battle huh…? They sure came up with a weird idea this time around…

Ichiro: I also think it’s a strange concept, but I still want to prove we’re the best. Will you two help me out?

Jiro & Saburo: Of course!!

Ichiro: Glad to hear it!

Saburo: We’re used to making curry so I think we should get started immediately!

Ichiro: Ah, about that… *places down a plate* I actually went ahead and made a prototype curry!

Saburo: As expected, Ichi-nii, you prepared something beforehand!

Ichiro: If we’re going to win over everyone, we can’t just use our usual curry. I was hoping you guys could help me perfect the ultimate curry!

Saburo: Then we’ll try the prototype so we can start ameliorating any flaws it may have!!

Jiro: A-Ameli…?? I don’t get what he just said but you can leave its flavour to me!!

Ichiro: Thanks, you two! Then, why don’t you go ahead and give it a taste?

Jiro & Saburo: Absolutely! *eats*

Jiro & Saburo: Mmm??

Jiro: This isn’t the flavour of our usual curry…! Did he really forget the most important part…??

Saburo: It’s greasy and tastes terrible…! I don’t want to say something Ichi-nii made is unpleasant but…!!

Ichiro: So how is it??

Jiro: I-I’ve never had anything like it before…

Saburo: W-what did you put in it?

Ichiro: *starts bringing out ingredients* So for the roux, I decided not to use anything you can buy from the store and made a completely original spice blend! I also used domestic A5 graded black beef and fatty mackerel!

Jiro: Yeah…?

Saburo: I see…

*phone rings*

Ichiro: Sorry, I gotta take this, it’s a work call. …Hello, how may I help you?

Jiro: *downs a glass of water* Hey Saburo, what did Nii-chan do to this curry??

Saburo: How am I supposed to know?? I can only assume he was so focused on beating the competition, failed to give it any rational thought.

Jiro: Damn it…! Even though Nii-chan’s usual curry is already the most delicious…!

Saburo: My thoughts exactly! He didn’t need to use these fancy ingredients, Ichi-nii’s curry is already exquisite…!

Jiro: We gotta bring Nii-chan back to his senses!

Saburo: As loathe as I am to work hand in hand with incompetence, there’s no other way…!

Ichiro: Sorry, guys, I’m back! So, what should I add to improve the curry?

Jiro & Saburo: *nods at each other*

Jiro: Aniki, I’ll give it to you straight. No matter what you add, this ain’t gonna be our curry!

Ichiro: What??

Jiro: I get where you’re coming from, but you shouldered this by yourself without even talking to us… Isn’t that messed up?

Saburo: I feel similarly to Jiro. If we’re going up against the other divisions, shouldn’t our bonds as brothers shine through?

Ichiro: Our bonds as brothers…?

Jiro & Saburo: And so, we should use our usual curry!

Ichiro: But, if we use our usual curry, wouldn’t you be able to tell the roux uses store bought curry and ingredients that were on sale? If we want to beat the others, then—

Jiro: But that’s what makes it our curry!

Saburo: Just like with our rap as the Buster Bros!!!, there wouldn’t be any point to winning if it’s not who we are!

Ichiro: You guys… *eats the curry* …Yeah, you’re right, this isn’t our curry. I understand what you mean!

Jiro & Saburo: …!!

Ichiro: Okay, let’s head out to the store to buy the stuff we usually use in our curry!

Jiro: Yeah! Once we hit up the shopping district, I’ll find the best bargain after a few rounds around the shops!

Saburo: According to my research, the type of roux that’s favoured across multiple age generations would be one that’s a bit sweet and hits the medium range in spiciness!

Ichiro: Thanks! I’m counting on you guys!

Saburo: Oh, there’s one more thing…

Jiro: What? We’re about to head out.

Saburo: No, it’s just, since we’re going to have to sell it, doesn’t that mean we need to come up with a name for our curry? I think the usual naming conventions revolve around the main ingredients used in the product.

Jiro: We got vegetables, fish, meat… If we go off of that, we’ve just got a variety curry.

Ichiro: We don’t even have to worry about that! No matter the ingredients, this is the “Yamada Family’s Special Curry”! And with it, the three of us will beat all the rest!!

[toyybox]

Spiderwebs #41: Magnum Opus

Masterlist

content: lab whump, needles (blood draw), immortal whumpee

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

“I’m certain that, with a few more years of research, I could discover why your body doesn’t kill it off. If I figure that out—“ She didn't finish that thought. “But there’s no guarantee. That’s only if everything goes according to plan.”

“I’m sure it will,” he said.

They were in the laboratory again. He was sitting in her office chair, as he always did, and she brought a folding chair up from the kitchen. There were peaches for breakfast. Jackie mentioned that he wanted to eat them a few days ago. He was surprised that she remembered. It snowed again the night before, and the morning was less sunny than usual. Gray clouds painted the sky instead. He wondered if it would storm.

“I should write a paper about this,” she said suddenly. “I will write a paper. These notes are practically incoherent.”

"You can’t publish it, though, can you?”

“I can’t publish it. It would be nice if I could, but I would also have to explain how I met you.”

Yes, that little detail. “What are you going to name it?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I always get someone else to come up with the titles. I suppose we’ll need to name the organism, too. You should name it.”

“I don't have any ideas."

“Neither do I. We can think of one later. I’ll start writing soon. Though, I do want to ask you a few questions first.” Hence, Heather was holding her journal and a pen. “Have you ever experienced issues with your immune system?”

“No.”

“Do you recall anything abnormal about your birth? Anything at all? Even if it seems small, tell me. We’re grasping at straws here.”

“No, it was normal.” 

She wrote these findings down. “And I assume you never experienced any sort of… I don’t know, rare event? Nothing in your life that could have caused this?”

“Not really.”

“Then I presume it’s an innate condition, ever since you were born.” She set the journal and pen down on a table. “But you can’t be the only person with this organism. The species couldn’t possibly become this far developed in a single host. There must be other immortals out there, somewhere, whether they’re aware of it or not.”

"If you're right about the parasite thing, then I guess it’s possible. Maybe we’ll find someone like that."

“I wouldn’t mind having a larger control group. By the way, I did a complete blood count…” Her tone shifted to an air of professional curiosity, and Jackie recognized that she was about to lecture him about some new discovery she found. “On the blood samples from when you were starving. I noticed average levels of red blood cells and hemoglobin, but the platelet levels were slightly higher than normal. Platelets are there to—“

“Wait, I know this one. They clot blood.”

“Exactly.” She nodded. “They create clotting. But I barely saw any white blood cells. Even in healthy samples, oddly enough. There’s more organisms in your bloodstream instead. They take the job of killing infections, like I told you. I also noticed what seemed to be eggs in your veins.”

“Really? Eggs?” Though Jackie had mostly detached himself from all these biological miracles, he still felt some discomfort at this idea.

“It’s what’s keeping you alive, so I suppose it can’t be helped. There was an excessive number of organisms, actually. They reproduce faster when the host is unhealthy. I believe that’s what gave your blood that dark, viscous quality.”

“There’s really no way to get them out?”

“If you find one, let me know.” Out of the blue, she picked her journal up again, clicked her pen open. “Actually, I wanted to ask—have you ever donated blood before?”

“No.”

“Interesting.” She wrote this down. “Your blood is O positive. I tested it earlier. You could hypothetically transfer it to about seventy percent of the population. The organism doesn’t survive in foreign organic matter, so there’s no adverse effects. It would be worthwhile to test it in a living human body, though. My blood is B negative, unfortunately, so I haven’t been able to try it out.”

“And B negative doesn’t mix with the positive types, right? That’s why you can’t test it?”

“Right.”

He remembered that much from his scarce education, if nothing else. Jackie always felt a little lost when she spoke of such concepts. What a complete blood count was, he had no idea. He didn’t want to ask her and interrupt.

“It’s honestly absurd,” she continued. “It’s such an extreme case of specialization. As far as I’ve seen, at least. I still don’t know how it would react to dehydration…”

“I would rather not,” he interrupted. “If that’s possible.”

“No, it’s alright. I understand if you’re not up for it. I…” She closed the journal, gently. “I feel like these tests are too harsh, sometimes. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, but…”

"I'm okay. It's for science."

“That’s good to hear.” Her conflicted expression was gone at once. 

And he was okay. He had been allowed everything he could ever want… well, almost everything, with some heavy restrictions, but he could settle for that. There wasn't any reason to rock the boat. It had been a peaceful few weeks, all things considered.

Heather glanced at her watch. "Would you look at that? You've been here for an hour, and you're still alive. It appears that my experiment is going very well."

Jackie was, in fact, currently hooked up to a blood bag in Heather’s laboratory. A needle inserted into his arm drained his blood through a clear, thin tube. The sight of so much of his own blood would have made him nauseous, once, but this rich scarlet was now a familiar color. It was a more sanitary method of bloodshed, at least, and relatively painless. 

So far, he had filled up about nine bags. Jackie was not a scientist, but he was fairly certain that wasn’t a normal amount of blood to extract. The bags were arranged on the table, weighed down by the gravity of all that heavy red liquid, entire pints of it sagging at the seams. Heather set about removing the tenth one.

“How many liters is that, doc?” He asked.

“About five.” She slid the needle out of his arm, before applying a band-aid over the gap left behind. “Most people would have died by now.”

He watched her unhook the bag from its thin steel stand. “What are you going to do with all that blood?”

“It’s too complicated to explain.” She forced a juice box into his hand. “Drink that. Your blood sugar must be through the floor. Are you feeling lightheaded?”

“A little.”

She forced a package of biscuits into his other hand. “Nauseous?”

“No.” He regarded the biscuits with suspicion. “I’m not hungry.”

“Keep it, at least. Eat when you feel up to it.” She placed the tenth blood bag onto the table. “You know, you don’t have much of an appetite lately.”

“I guess.” Hunger was a point of contention. But he was starting to feel thirsty, oddly enough. He stabbed the plastic straw through the juice box. 

“Yes, ever since…” She paused. But she carried on without a second thought, as if she had never mentioned it at all. “I do wonder where all this blood is coming from.”

Now that his arm wasn’t attached to the needle, he could move it freely. He shook his wrist out for a few seconds. “Hey, where’d you learn all this stuff, anyway? Harvard?”

He said it as a joke, but she replied, “Harvard? Don’t insult me like that. I studied somewhere reputable, thank you.” 

“Somewhere reputable.” He wasn’t sure what that would even entail. Nicer jars for their organ collections, maybe. “What did you get? A PhD?”

“Yes, a doctorate. Did you study anywhere?”

“Nowhere, really. I graduated high school, but I didn’t do anything after that. I just started working.” 

He had never seen his education as a priority. When the police took him in... anyway, they had him in and out of the hospital, then sent him to a couple different homes, and that didn't leave any time for him to care about school. He wanted to study language, if he could, but he didn't think that was possible anymore.

Besides, it was expensive. He could barely scrape together the cash for rent. Getting work as a waiter had been incredibly lucky, in hindsight.

“So you didn't receive further education,” she said. “I assumed as much.”

“You assumed right. I’m not that smart.”

“Well, I don’t know about that. I’ve taught you a few things.” She leaned back in her chair. “Natural talent doesn’t count for anything, you know. There’s a brilliant mind born every day that goes to waste. That’s not enough to get you anywhere. It’s about perseverance and discipline, in the end.”

And a lot of money, he thought tartly. That wasn't Heather's fault, though, and she really was good at what she did. He decided to just let her talk. She could be quite talkative, actually, once she got started.

"I can tell you’re irritated,” Heather said.

“I’m not,” he said. “Continue, please.”

“You don’t have to lie. It's obvious. You should know I appreciate your presence. Even if I don’t express it very well.”

“Yeah, you don’t.”

“I don’t. I can be… harsh. But I meant it. I just can’t say it like you do. I’m terrible at that.”

That was true, despite all her other talents.

“You're my crowning jewel,” she said. “My—my magnum opus, even. But you’re also my friend. You’re the only person I care about.” 

“I know that.”

And he couldn’t hold grudges, when she spoke that way. It was all so stilted, so artlessly sincere. For once, the words were slow and careful, purely meant for him. He had already forgotten the rest of their conversation.

She fell silent. It seemed as though she had been distracted by something.

He looked up at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you ever want to leave?” she asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

“No.” She searched his expression intently. "You don't."

He stared back with the same intensity. "Then stop asking me stupid questions."

She didn’t move away, and for a moment she was completely still. Her gaze lingered, as dark as night, burning like distant fires. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. 

It didn’t matter. She knew he wasn’t going anywhere. Perhaps that was for the best. His circumstances had always been difficult, but he used the cards he was given the best he could. He would be happier this way. Playing his role until the bitter end.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Taglist:

@theelvishcowgirl @lthrboy @whumpy-wyrms

@yassifiedinformation @creppersfunpalooza

@vidawhump @dont-look-me-in-the-eye

[teecupangel]

I’ve recently noticed (as in I only noticed recently, not it only happened recently) a distinct lack of it in your content so I thought I’d ask: opinion on EziDesAltCon? (I never know which order it’s supposed to be) cause to me it just seems like the obvious conclusion.

I honestly don’t know if there’s an ‘official’ shipping name for it. I usually go for AltDesEziCon, in the order of their games XD

I like it. Honestly, I’m all in for them being in a polycule or if this is primarily a Desmond harem XD

I cannot remember if I have ever answered something like this but there was this Desmond harem in a Royal ‘Family’ AU idea last year so I’ll focus on a poly kind of situation for this one.

Have some unorganized notes!

They all fall in love with Desmond first and it starts of as them being rivals for Desmond’s affection.

Altaïr and Ezio are highly competitive and tries to one man each other. Ratonhnhaké:ton is more of a chill dude but turns out to just be as competitive. He’s just more sly about it. There have been many Altaïr versus Ezio competitions that ended with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s stealth wins and it was all planned.

Desmond loves them all and realize that Altaïr and Ezio’s competitiveness is kinda like their foreplay.

He gets the idea of making them fall in love with one another so they can all be together (and Desmond doesn’t have to make a choice)

Shaun thought he was mad, Rebecca was more on the side of “It’s crazy enough to work”, Clay is there to watch the chaos unfold.

The Auditore family has an ongoing joke of disowning Ezio and adopting the others if he breaks up with any or all of them (not that it would happen)

Everyone but Ratonhnhaké:ton call Haytham ‘father-in-law’ to fuck with him. One time, Ezio calls him ‘father-in-law’ during a party with a lot of rich people and that’s how people learn that Haytham’s ‘unknown’ son is dating 3 dudes all at the same time.

They all call William Miles ‘Bill’ though.

This is full on modern day now apparently so Desmond’s parents are divorced and his mom married Minerva. Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton call Minerva stepmother-in-law while Desmond and Altaïr call her ‘Minerva’. Minerva just rolls with it and calls Desmond’s beaus “my stepson’s harem.” (this is honestly inspired by what @thedragonqueen1998 and I talked about in the comments of EOA XD)

They all live in a big apartment and have the biggest bed their friends have ever seen. They have a schedule on who does what chore each week. Altaïr is rarely given kitchen duties because he will season the ingredients and put it all in the oven. It’s not bad but Ezio keeps teasing him about his lack of variety. Ezio is forbidden to do groceries unsupervised because one time he bought more than they needed because things were ‘on sale’.

Altaïr’s grandfather doesn’t mind the number of lovers he has or that they’re men. He’s still annoying Altaïr to give him great grandchildren before he dies though.

Kids are not off the table but they want to spend time with each other first. (They all agree the oldest must be Desmond’s XD)

Malik is worried that Kadar would think that he could be invited into the poly. Kadar is honestly just living vicariously through Desmond at this point. He and Rebecca are the only two people Desmond confesses all the kinky shit they get into.

Leonardo knows the kinky shit they get into courtesy of Ezio.

Ratonhnhaké:ton doesn’t tell anyone the kinky shit they get into but Rebecca sometimes ask him for clarification because she knows he won’t embellish anything. (“Even the skydiving thing?” “Altaïr had to research a lot about that one”)

They sometimes go on doubledates and switch partners in different points of the day.

They have movie night every Sunday and the one who picks the movie is Desmond → Altaïr → Ezio → Ratonhnhaké:ton. Sometimes, movie night is in the comforts of their home, other times it’s in the movie theatres.

They schedule their offs so all of them can be together. Ezio is the one who mostly suggests they go somewhere which the others don’t mind.

Desmond always sleep in the middle of the bed, surrounded by the men he loves.