#i have moved on to not greener pastures.

[crow-ooc]

coughs chokes and dies. so. i'll be pretty much exclusively interacting through corr instead of ooc from now on. take this account as an archive i suppose. 👍

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

lucky jumbo anniversary the 3rd is approaching and im celebrating by actually working on bullet ch2 . so that perhaps one day ill come back

[fumifooms]

fumi i hope you know that in an extra of how laios' party is formed he is explicitly banned from getting a crush on marcille.

like i know you went in depth on the trauma he has because of humans on your laimar post about the succubus but please know that he was explicitly banned its so goddamn funny.

im crying laughing while typing this out happy laimar love loses 🥂

Lmao yeah 🥂

It’s a very fun comic! The marriage seeker mystery can finally be put to rest 😌 I don’t really think it changes much, that it overrides anything we knew or that I theorized, esp since we already knew about the party-wide romance ban, but the meme potential (and fic potential) IS so strong now that we know Laios was the one most targeted and distrusted of all… And trust was the biggest issue, romance brings nothing but trouble in their minds but the trouble they experienced with the marriage seeker was because she was disingenuous and manipulative and Laios was oblivious, and as time went on the party realized that Marcille was trustworthy and they stopped worrying about that particular scenario happening. It can def bring a new meaning to the "This is my succubus?!! No one can see it no one can know AAAAA" line though lmfaoo. It’s so funny and honestly such a win for aroace Laios

[0scill4te]

i love randomly remembering people you dont talk to anymore. 5ish years ago i added this gal on snap (we met on Her) and everyday, and i mean everyday, she would make a story showing a picture of our (regional) albertsons chain with the caption "hate this fucking place" or "here we go again.."

[5-htagonist]

just realized. ive had the same ao3 account forever. and my history. is all there. i started reading homestuck fic on ao3 feb 25 2014....

[aloera]

aloera oh my fucking god (<- just woke up to the notification of a new aloera fic posted (r/offmychest) and read it immediately ofc)

aloera OH M Y G O D

aloera OH MY FFUCKINJ GOF

anyway ty for sharing you are the captain of krbk fics to me it is literally a law of nature that i will read the fic as soon as i see the notif i d o n o t c a r e what is going on irl i will sit in the corner with my phone and READ do not talk to me so yeah. ty lol <3

you are. so sweet shut up i had the same oh my god reaction reading this... this means so much to me!!! i appreciate it so much!!!! i am so grateful that we r all unfortunately still stuck in the krbk pit even in 2024!!!! mwah <333333 thank u sm for reading im glad you enjoyed it

[princeinsomniavoid]

ghhh

[zitronenmeer]

No more Merc Mick ..

[overratedandpathetic]

leave me

[thatgarden]

Oh. It's Homestuck day tomorrow.

...hm.

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 15

Or: a secret Admirer AU

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10 || PART 11 || PART 1 || PART 13 || PART 14

Steve wishes it was raining. Instead, it’s a crisply cold day, but the sun’s shining brightly, illuminating Steve’s dour mood as he walks, unsure of where he’s even going.

The quarry’s miles away, holding his car and house keys hostage. So, he walks, and walks, and walks, aimless.

Chrissy’s probably still at Eddie’s, reading him the riot act, Jeff at her side, so she’s out. He doesn’t have anyone else—Tommy and Carol long since moving on to greener pastures, and no one on the basketball team would go out of their way to spit on him if he was on fire.

There’s always Nancy, but they’re ghosts in each other’s stories now, ships passing in the night.

He should walk to the quarry to pick up his car, and go home to his quiet, lonely house.

He calls Robin at the first pay phone he passes, digging around in his pocket for loose coins as he dials a number he hopes is hers. She picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Where do you live?” he asks.

“Shit, Steve?” her tired voice turns frantic. “Are you oka—”

“Robin,” he cuts in, voice cracking just enough to shut her up. “Can I come over?”

The other line’s quiet for a moment, only the sound of her muffled breathing assuring Steve she hadn’t hung up. “Robin?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry!” she cries, then rattles off her address. “When will you be here?”

It’s a small town, so it only takes Steve a second to reorient himself, figure out the quickest path from where he is to Robin. “About fifteen minutes?” he guesses, not used to accounting for walking time.

Robin sighs, “oh, good,” that frantic edge finally bleeding out of her voice. “Hurry up, dingus, okay?”

He runs out of time before he can reply, phone kicking the dial tone back at him until he hangs it back up, the barrel of the phone rattling as he puts it back on the dirty receiver.

The sun’s low in the sky when he finally stands in front of an unassuming house with a dingy white door. He’s numb, tired to his bones as he knocks quietly on the front door.

Robin flies out, arms wrapping around Steve in a tight hug before he even realizes she’s there. Steve shudders and buries his face in her hair, hands shaking as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her further into his chest.

She pats his back awkwardly but doesn’t let go as she asks, “you okay, dingus?”

“No,” Steve murmurs, afraid of how his voice will come out if he talks any louder. “Can I come in?”

Robin lets go immediately, but Steve holds on a second longer, not wanting to lose her warmth. “You can hug me again in my room, Steve,” she says, arms awkwardly held down at her sides.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he replies with one final squeeze to her middle.

When he finally lets go, fingers flexing in the cold air, Robin leads him into her house. She pulls him through the living room and up a set of stairs too quickly for Steve to get much of an impression past lived in and homey.

“I’ll be in my room!” Robin calls just before she shuts the door behind them, muffling what must be her mom’s response.

Robin’s bed’s messy, and there’s clothes all over her floor. The walls are covered in posters of bands he’s never heard of, pictures cut out of magazines, and little post-it note reminders.

While he gawks at his surroundings, Robin pulls him to her bed and pushes on his shoulders until he sits down on it. She then proceeds to wrestle her quilt away from her other blankets and drape it over his shoulders. Only then does Steve realize he’s shivering as the cold of the outside world slowly seeps out of his bones.

In here, as Robin sits down across from him, he feels safe, finally—safe and warm.

“Okay, spill,” she demands, taking any sting out of the order by reaching out and taking his hand.

Steve takes a breath, ready to heed her orders, before letting it all out. Where does he start? What does he say? Does he start with Jason? With the note to Chrissy? There’s just too much and it’s all tangled together.

But then she squeezes his hand and he says, “I told Eddie.”

He looks down at their linked hands, unwilling to meet her eyes as she prompts, “You told him…” in a hesitant voice.

“That I was the one writing the letters,” he replies. “That I like him, that it was never Chrissy.”

“Oh,” Robin says, scooting closer so their knees bump. He wishes, absurdly, that they were in that same boy’s bathroom stall for this conversation. “Oh, shit. Is he going to tell everyone? Oh my god, are you okay? What did he say?”

“Robin,” Steve cuts her off, knowing from experience that she’ll just keep on spiraling if he lets her. “He’s not going to talk to me anymore.”

And that, for the first time since everything started spiraling out of control, is what makes tears pool in his eyes. Eddie might tell everyone, and he might be run out of town, but that feels unimportant right now.

How can that matter when he’ll never go to another band practice or Dorks & Dragons session? How can that matter when Eddie will never smirk at something Steve says when he thinks Steve’s no longer looking? When he’ll never write another letter, or receive one back?

“I am so sorry, Steve,” she says, and she sounds it, even as she drops his hands to clutch at his face hard enough that his cheeks squish together. “But, are you stupid?”

“Hey!”

She loosens her hold long enough to wipe the few tears off his cheeks before clutching on tighter, nails digging into his cheeks. “I need you to listen to the words I’m saying,” she says, each word enunciated and slow like she thinks Steve’s stupid. “I know it hurts, but Eddie’s just some boy.”

She says the word “boy” like that in and of itself is some cardinal sin, mouth puckered up like it tastes bad on her tongue. Steve laughs, just a little, and she beams at him.

“He’s just a gross, icky boy, but you, Steve Harrington,” she says his name like it’s a revelation. “It has shocked me to my core, but I really, really like you, and I don’t want to have to kill Munson if he tells everyone in town about this, okay? Blood makes me squeamish.”

Steve laughs again, all tears and snot and gross-sounding phlegm. Robin grimaces, but doesn’t let go of him.

“Eddie won’t tell anyone,” Steve replies, pretty sure he’s telling the truth. “He’s too nice.”

She pulls his face closer, eyes boring into his as she says, “he made you cry,” like there is no worse crime. Steve loves her so much.

“I lied to him, Rob.”

Robin sighs, slumping into him until they both tumble down onto her unmade bed, quilts and sheets and comforters lumpy beneath them. “Okay, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hate him, alright?” she asks, shoving a stuffed elephant into his arms. Steve squeezes it to his chest and stares up at the little glow-in-the-dark stars taped up on her ceiling. “I don’t give a fuck about Munson—I’m here for you.”

And no matter how much he wants to defend Eddie, it’s a comfort to hear. With Chrissy and Jeff, he’s not sure where their loyalties will shake out. Eddie’s their friend, even if they’re Steve’s too. When their newly-forming group fractures at the seams, he’s not sure where they’ll land.

But, he’s got Robin, and maybe that’ll be enough.

“Can I spend the night?” he whispers. “I sort of left my car at the quarry along with my house keys.”

Robin spins around, her hair tickling Steve’s nose as she makes herself comfortable nestled into Steve’s side. “You’re a disaster,” she sighs, “but, yeah. Let me go ask my mom.”

*** 

In the morning, while Steve’s still starfished out on her bedroom floor, Chrissy calls. Robin’s mom is the one that picks up, but when she yells up the stairs, Robin comes running.

Chrissy’s tinny voice sounds frantic as she asks, “have you seen Steve?” quickly enough that Robin barely catches it. “He was at Eddie’s yesterday, but his car’s not at his house, and he’s not picking up his phone, and I’m so wor—“

“He left his car at the quarry,” Robin cuts in, relieved when it shuts Chrissy up. A small part of her burns that it took Chrissy so long to call her when she’d asked her to, like without Robin in front of her, she’d fled the other girl’s mind entirely. “He’s with me.”

“Oh, good,” Chrissy sighs, sounding so relieved that Robin has a hard time holding onto her grudge. “Did he…tell you?”

Robin glances at her mom, standing in front of the stove and stirring eggs around in a pan, well within hearing range. So, all she says is, “he told me.”

“Is he okay?”

Robin runs her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth down her bedhead. “Would you be?” Chrissy doesn’t reply—she doesn’t need to, not when they both know there’s only one answer to that question. “Look, I’ve got him, okay?”

“Okay,” she sighs, sounding relieved. Before she can make her excuses to get off the phone, Chrissy asks. “Hey Robin?”

Robin hums in reply, out of words.

“Thank you.”

With that, the girl that Robin likes hangs up on her, probably to call her own boyfriend and update him on the situation. Robin’s gut clenches, but she tries to take her own advice—Chrissy’s just a girl, but Steve? He’s her friend.

“I’m trying not to be nosy,” her mom prompts, and Robin jumps, having entirely forgotten she was there, “but is your friend okay?”

Robin tries to think of a non-outing way to explain the situation before giving it up as a bad job and just saying, “he’s going through a break-up.” Emotion-wise, it feels close enough to the truth anyway.

Her mom spins, spatula in hand as she raises an eyebrow at Robin and asks, “moves on fast, doesn’t he?”

“Ew, Mom!” Robin cries, stalking out of the kitchen to the sound of her mom’s laughter.

Steve’s up when she goes back into her room, rubbing his eyes blearily as he looks around her room like this is the first time he’s seeing it. “You want breakfast?” she asks.

They eat eggs, hash browns and toast, her mom keeping the invasive questions to a minimum, and then they commandeer the TV in the living room to watch shitty romcoms and complain about their disastrous love lives.

It’s fun—Robin can’t remember the last time she’s had a friend over, much less one she can be honest with, so when Steve makes no move to leave as afternoon turns into evening, she doesn’t mention it either, just shoves a baggy clean shirt and a pair of her dad’s sweatpants at him and demands he change.

It’s in the dark of her room that night that Steve asks, “can I sit with you at lunch on Monday?”

Robin smiles, picturing King Steve Harrington strolling up to the band geek’s table like he belongs there. “Course, dingus,” she replies, and is rewarded by Steve reaching up to take her hand.

“Love you, Rob,” he murmurs.

She stares down into the darkness, gobsmacked as his breathing evens out and he falls asleep. Tomorrow morning, her mom will drive Steve to pick up his car, and he’ll go home.

But right now, tonight, Steve Harrington loves her, and he fell asleep holding her hand.

PART 16

[lonely-ey3s]

Heartlines | Chapter One

pairing: harry castillo (materialists) x f!reader

chapter summary : Are you hard to love, or have you not found the right person? After you meet Harry Castillo at your sister's wedding, he shows you what it means to be in love. He shows you how to be loved.

chapter warnings: fluff, slow burn, angst, Harry speaks Spanish (translations will be there), reader has a somewhat emotionally abusive mother, unwanted touching, drinking, vomiting, switched POV's.

word count: 10k

a/n: alright here it is! chapters will be every other sunday as ride or die will be launched next weekend !! this also somewhat requested by @iheartoldermem so thank them !!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune

Masterlist

'It’s better this way’ is something you’d constantly tell yourself. A little lonelier but better. It wasn't ideal, but it was safer for your heart this way.

Just like it wasn't ideal that you were sitting at your little sister’s bachelorette party with a mocktail in your hand, sober.

You sat there while everyone else in the bridal party was on the dance floor, with some random man that wasn’t their boyfriend or husband grinding up on them.

You didn't mind sitting back and watching other people have fun, perhaps make stupid decisions. But doing it sober?

However, you had one job tonight as the maid of honor: get her to the wedding tomorrow morning and get her down the aisle without stupid, drunken decisions being made.

This meant attending this party and sticking it out in this god awful strip club.

So you watched your sister like a hawk. You sat there sipping on your drink, keeping your head clear and your eyes open. Watching her dance with some fuck boy from out of town grab her ass and grind up against her.

You watched them dance together for a few songs, letting her enjoy her drunken bad decision at the rate it was going.  

You heard her hiccup and then saw her shake her head as a ‘No thank you’ slurred out of her mouth. You also watched him persist on taking her back to his place, his hand on her hip, smirking at her as he tried pulling her off the dance floor. 

You stepped down from your barstool and came over, putting yourself between the two of them. “Alright, I think it’s time to move on to greener, more available pastures, buddy… the one isn't available... and has said 'no'..." You gently pushed him away from her, your lips in a tight smile. 

He chuckled, his eyes clocking your body up and down, checking you out, biting his bottom lip, “Well well, I think I see a greener ass… I mean greener grass right in front of me!” he smirked, “Name’s Spencer, what’s yours?” he crowded your space, taking your hand in his. 

You grinned and chuckled, taking your hand back quickly, then tsked. “You are so barking up the wrong tree, Spencer…” You chuckled and shook your head in disbelief- the audacity of men never ceased to amaze you. “Keep it movin’, bud!"

You turned towards your sister, effectively cutting off engaging further with him. 

He sighed and turned around as well, walking away to another bridesmaid who was dancing across the dance floor.

She had a face of utter fear as reality set in. “Oh god, I think I’m gonna be sick…” she said before putting her hand over her mouth and gagging. 

You shook your head again at her reaction and chuckled, “Alright, I think that’s our cue to wrap this party up for you, little miss thing…” You wrapped her arm around yours and walked with her to the bathroom. 

She did her best in the incredibly ridiculous high heels to walk with you, but most of the travel was you dragging her along. 

Once in the bathroom, she ran into the stall before collapsing to her knees and coughing as she vomited into the toilet. 

You weren’t too far behind her, quickly gathering her hair up and holding it up behind her. You took a deep breath and sighed deeply. “There ya go… let it out,” you encouraged, leaning down to rub her back. 

She coughed and took a few deep breaths before she vomited again, groaning. 

After a few moments, you leaned over and grabbed her some toilet paper. “Here, wipe your mouth hun…” you said softly. 

She looked up and smiled lazily, “You’re such a good sister…” she hiccupped, taking the bunch of toilet paper from you and wiping her mouth. “You’re going to make such a good wife one day too…” she giggled, her eyes fluttering closed. 

You chuckled, “You’re so drunk and delusional…” you tsked. 

“How so?” she asked, then almost immediately bent over as she coughed again, vomiting more into the toilet. 

“You’re good… keep it comin’... get it all out.” you encouraged gently, ignoring her question. 

After getting it all out, she leaned back and laid her head against the stall wall, closing her eyes. “Just because Robbie and Damon didn’t work out doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there for you…” she said before opening her eyes and looking up at you. 

Ever since she got engaged, she had been determined to find you someone as well. She wanted you just as happy as she was with her fiance, Ben. 

The number of blind dates or double dates you had been on in the last six months just to keep her happy was astounding.

However, none of them wanted to settle down, be in a committed relationship. All they wanted was a ‘casual’ relationship. To them you weren’t good enough for commitment as you knew most of them were now exclusively dating someone else.

You didn’t fit their boxes, weren't good enough to be the ‘forever’ in their life. Hell, 13 dates later, you began to think, it must be you. 

Something must be wrong with you.

You must have some immediate invisible sign on your head that says something like ‘Step on up and break my heart’ or ‘Fuck me over’. 

The last date you went on a few weeks ago was the straw that broke your camel's back. 

Lila set you up with one of Ben’s coworkers. Some narcissist who thought just because he had a yearly salary of over $2 million that money would earn his way into your pants.

When you thanked him for a good night but didn't invite him in, the things he said to you in anger and obvious sexual frustration– created the first brick of your now indestructible wall. 

So that was it. 

You swore it all off. It wasn’t going to happen again if you could help it. 

‘You can’t get hurt if you don’t open your heart.’ 

You leaned against the wall and folded your arms. “Lila, it's so much more than that, and you know it…” You bit the inner part of your cheek, “Just… you tried, and I appreciate that…” you said softly before your voice changed, sounding a bit firmer, “...but let what’s dead, fuckin’ rest in peace.” you shook your head looking down at your shoes, letting out a breath of something. Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Maybe all of the above. 

She sighed softly, defeated. “Fine… I’ll leave it.” 

After a few moments of silence, she cleared her throat. “What time is it?” 

You pulled your phone out of your purse. “It’s just past 2 am…" you tsked "We should get you home. We’ve got an early morning…” You put your phone away and held out your hand. “We need to be at the venue by 9 am…” 

She smiled and reached up for your hand. “What would I do without you?” 

You pulled her up to her feet and chuckled, the tension breaking between the two of you. “I don’t want to know the answer to that question…” You teased. 

She chuckled and held onto your arm as the two of you headed back to her place to spend the night. 

You had her up and at the venue just before 9 am, sitting in the glam chair with a glass of ginger ale and another with an Alka-seltzer on standby as she was feeling slightly hungover.

After glam, hair, and getting into your dress, you came over to her.

She was still getting her hair done. “Is there anything last minute I need to get you?” you asked, putting a bracelet on your wrist, smiling at how beautiful she looked. 

She smiled and looked around, making mental notes of what she needed. “Oh! I need my bouquet and grandma’s bracelet! Dad said he had it with him…” She looked back at you.

You nodded. “I’ll go find the florist and Dad…” You smiled. “Hang tight…” You maneuvered your way through the room and made your way downstairs to the ceremony room to where you’d first look for the florist.

You looked around for anyone with flowers and saw all of the groomsmen. They were all in a small circle, putting their boutonnieres on each other's lapels. 

You snapped and then clapped excitedly, “Bingo!”

You put on a smile and walked over, “Hey guys, sorry but, quick question… where did you all get those?” you pointed to one of their chests, eyes bright with hope.

Austin, Ben’s old college roommate, turned and smiled at you. “Uh, I’m not sure. Harry brought them over. You could ask him…” he said daftly. 

You bit your tongue, holding in what you wanted to say, so you held your hands out in front of you to accentuate the sarcasm about to come out of your mouth, “Great, great… now who’s Harry?” you tilted your head, chuckling lightly, mildly frustrated as time was ticking. 

“I’m Harry. Who’s askin’?” you heard a voice behind you, one with a soft timber but a strong and commanding tone. 

You turned around, and the most beautiful man stood in front of you. He was broad, yet appeared welcoming and soft. His hair was tidy yet somewhat rugged as he was pushed back fashionably. He looked expensive but not too snobby in his black and white suit. 

He was smiling at you with the biggest brown eyes you’d ever seen.

You nodded slowly, whispering back, “Harry…” then smiled and lightly chuckled as you snapped out of your daze, “Um… flowers! Where did you get those boutonnieres?” You gestured to the one on his lapel. 

He looked to where you were gesturing then looked back up at you as he used his thumb to rub his bottom lip, his eyes drinking you in for a moment subtly, “The florist, she came to us…” he held out his hand to you, offering to shake yours, “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met, you are?” he smiled warmly. 

You saw someone with a bunch of flowers walk behind him and gasped, “You!” You shouted, waving your finger at them. 

“Mrs. Flower… person!” you went to walk away but turned to Harry and smiled gesturing to yourself, “Sorry, um I'm... uhm the maid of honor, and one on a time crunch… nice to meet you Harry.” you did a small wave then picked up the front of your dress and turned towards the person carrying flowers, “Excuse me, florist person!” you chased after them. 

Harry chuckled as he watched you chase after that person, turning back around to talk with the group of men.

You finally caught up with the person carrying the flowers, who connected you with the main florist– who, ironically, was already heading up to give the bridal group their flowers. 

You took yours and made sure your sister was good before heading back down to then find your dad and get your grandma’s bracelet before rushing back upstairs and putting it on your sister’s wrist as the ceremony was moments away from starting. 

“You look beautiful Lila…” you said touching her cheek, “I’m so happy for you and Ben…” you teared up and looked over her features, “Ah, you two are going to be so happy…” you let out a chuckle which made a tear fall down your cheek. 

She put her hand on your cheek as well and smiled, “I know one day, whether you want to believe it or not, you’ll have this too.” 

She teared up when you shook your head, smiling sadly before she whispered, “Everyone deserves a ‘Ben’...” She softly chuckled, a few tears falling down her cheeks. 

You quickly took a tissue and dabbed the tears up. “Hey, no tears, you’ll ruin your makeup…” you softly laughed. “You can’t cry until the altar when you do your vows!” you teased. 

She softly laughed and nodded, letting you fix her makeup. “I love you, sis… thank you for always being here for me.” 

You nodded and smiled, “Always.” You held her hands and took a step back, looking over her, “Now, let’s go make you a Mrs. Reynolds!” you grinned. 

Just as you said that, the wedding planner came in, headset and clipboard in hand, eyes filled with purpose.

“Ok! It’s time, everyone… places!” She smiled and clapped excitedly, “Bridesmaids and maid of honor, you’ll follow me down to line up. Lila, your dad is waiting out here for you…” She smiled and then walked out. 

You looked at her, and she took a deep breath, her hands becoming clammy all of a sudden. 

“Hey, I’ll see you when you get to the end of the aisle, yeah?” You smiled softly, attempting to snap her out of her thoughts. 

She nodded and then smiled, “Yeah, I’m good. Go!” she giggled. 

You grabbed your small bouquet and then quickly walked out of the room to catch up with the group. 

You all got downstairs to gather behind the big doors that would open when the music started.

All 10 of you were being shoved together by the wedding coordinator and her assistant in a double file line. Men on the right, women on the left. 

The group dwindled down, and then you were taken by the arm by the assistant, murmuring to herself, “Lastly, the maid of honor with the best man… perfect!” she said out loud as she stood you next to a familiar face. 

Harry offered his arm and smiled down at you. “I’m sorry, your name is 'maid of honor', isn't it?” he teased. 

You chuckled and slid your hand under his arm, holding onto his bicep and placing the flowers where they were supposed to be held, “Yes, but that's my alter ego - my real name is Y/N… you know, kinda like Batman…” You joked.  

He chuckled, “If I get to walk down the aisle with Batman– that’s the ultimate win in my book.” he wiggled his arm that you were holding onto softly.

You smiled and looked down, making sure you looked good before you looked up at him, and bounced back, “Well, glad I can provide you with the experience of being with Gotham’s mightiest hero…” you looked toward the doors opening and the music starting to play.

He liked how witty you were, how you genuinely made him laugh and smile.

You whispered, leaning in slightly, “Although, I am sorry to disappoint… not to give you the full experience. The suit is in dry cleaning…” you joked. 

Harry snorted out another chuckle. The wedding planner’s eyes darted towards the two of you as she stood beside the door's entrance, counting when to send the next pair down the aisle. 

Both of you saw her gaze, but instead of it making you quiet, it made you giggle, which only made him chuckle a little louder. 

She put a finger to her lips to signal for you to be quiet. Her eyes filled with frustration- the two of you being childish in her book. 

You softly cleared your throat and stopped, nodding at her apologetically. Harry smiled at her and gave her the zipping his lips motion and then motioned throwing away the key behind his back, making her only narrow her eyes more at him. 

He softly chuckled and nodded at her, mouthing ‘Sorry…’. 

The group moved up a pace as one of the couples started walking down the aisle. After another couple of counts, another group went, which triggered everyone to move up. 

Harry leaned in, keeping his eyes forward, and whispered, “For the record, I like this ‘suit’ a lot better… this color brings out your eyes.” he put his hand over yours on his bicep for a moment before taking it away and keeping it at his side as you both stepped forward again.

You couldn’t help but blush at his touch. Something so small, a simple touch, was making your heart smack against your chest and a flutter of butterflies in your stomach. 

You kept your eyes forward, leaning into him, challenging, “You can’t say that; you haven’t seen me in the actual suit yet…” you whispered back, taking another step forward. 

He bit the inside of his cheek and smirked, then went to say something back when the wedding planner cleared her throat and whispered to you both, “Big smiles and walk in 5…4…3…2… go…” She gently nudged Harry forward by pushing the back of his shoulder.

You both took a step forward and began walking down the aisle at a steady pace, smiling toward the crowd as they were all watching you. 

Halfway down the aisle, he leaned over and whispered, looking down at you, “Tell me then, how does the bride know Batman?” he turned his head back to smile at the crowd, the same as you were doing. 

You smiled as you walked, whispering back, “Well… in this multiverse, Batman’s parents didn’t get brutally murdered– she also has a little sister.” You nodded over to your mom and grandparents sitting in the front row. He looked over and nodded at them, then connecting the dots- he knew exactly who you were now. 

He looked down at you and smiled warmly. “Ah, I knew I recognized you…” 

You looked up at him. “Sorry?” you raised your eyebrow, confused.  

The end of the aisle came, and he smirked a little, leaving you both on the perfect cliffhanger, “I guess this is the end of the line for us… guess we’ll have to catch up later then?” he winked before the two of you split, going your separate ways.

He stood next to Ben, putting his hands in front of himself, and smiled out towards the crowd. 

You walked to where you needed to be and peeked over at him, wondering how the hell he knew who you were.

Your thoughts were paused when you looked down the aisle as the music switched to signal your sister’s arrival, your focus automatically on her. 

What you didn’t see was that Harry’s eyes weren’t watching down the aisle for Lila– they were on you. 

The ceremony was beautiful. Your sister looked breathtaking– it was everything she wanted. 

Ben’s vows to her were heartfelt and made almost everyone tear up or cry, including yourself. 

At one point, you caught Harry looking over at you, his eyes warm, full of adoration and sincerity. You suddenly became shy and quickly looked down at the bouquet you were holding, noticing your cheeks feeling warm, your heart pounding quickly again. 

Fuck. How the hell was he getting under your skin like this? You were so against getting involved with anyone.

However, the way he would look at you, how he was so easily making you feel this bashful and shy- it was just frustrating. 

'It's those damn brown eyes' you thought to yourself. You were a sucker for men with big puppy dog eyes- which he had and you knew was an expert in using.

You would avoid him the rest of the evening. Nothing can happen if you just avoid him, right? 

However, after the happy couple were pronounced husband and wife and started to walk down the aisle, you realized that the instructions were to regroup with your aisle partner and walk back down, following behind the happy couple. 

Well shit. So much for avoiding him.

'Ok one more walk down then we will stay away from Mr. Brown Eyes' you told yourself as you saw Harry look over at you.

Once your sister and Ben started to walk down, he walked to the middle of the altar and held out his arm to you, softly smiling, “Shall we?” 

You gave him a small polite smile and nodded, you gently held onto his arm and walked with him down the aisle. 

You both started cheering with the rest of the crowd when Ben stopped at the end of the aisle, dipping your sister down and giving her a deep and slow kiss. 

You chuckled when your sister looked back at you, giggling, looking happier than ever. 

You blew her a kiss and gave her a thumbs up. She returned it and then nodded at Harry and winked at you.

You're kidding me.

'You cheeky little fucker' You immediately knew what she had done. She set this up. You should’ve known better. Your sister had literally been trying to be a matchmaker. This was a new level, though, but you should've known nonetheless. 

The only problem was one thing.

This was none of this was her doing. You just so happened to hit it off with Ben's best man.

When she had set you up with other guys, she never considered Harry. Lila never thought you two would hit it off, frankly. You were from two different worlds. He was from one end and you from the other. He was also just as hard-headed in some ways as you were.

She and Ben never thought to give either of you the chance together; however, there it was– an obvious spark. 

And it’s not that you didn’t like Harry or find him attractive. He seemed sweet, and from the way you two were bouncing back and forth, you got along. He was also incredibly handsome. He was your type, ticked all of your boxes from an outside perspective. All of that was great–  and if you were in a different place, you’d dive in. 

But you weren’t. You still felt broken. 

The last 2 years of relationships and failed dates just ruined your self esteem. You just were not ready to open up your heart or even try to give a guy a chance– even if it was someone like Harry. You were too afraid of getting hurt once again.

You continued to walk to the reception hall, splitting away from your sister and Ben as they went to take photos outside the venue. 

You let go of Harry’s arm and saw your mom motioning for you to come over to her. 

You nodded at her. “I uh, I’ve been summoned…” you chuckled softly and turned to him. “It was lovely to meet you, Harry…” You held out your hand for him to shake. 

He tilted his head a fraction and looked down at you, smiling warmly, “It was lovely to meet you as well…” he took your hand, and instead of shaking it, he leaned down and kissed it gently, keeping eye contact with you.

For once you were speechless. And before you had time to react, one of the groomsmen grabbed his shoulder, pulling him away, “Open bar, man! Come on!” they said excitedly.

Harry looked back at you and smiled, “I’ll find you later?” he shouted as he was being dragged by the arm.

You nodded and smiled politely. “Sure…” You chuckled and then walked towards your mom, putting on a fake smile. 

During the reception, you did what you could to avoid him. You put yourself in every other social situation or task to act busy, rarely sitting down or remaining alone. 

Mainly not allowing yourself to slip into his ‘brown-eyed spell’ as you dubbed it. 

You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, and once when you were waiting for your drink at the bar you clocked him coming your way. You acted like someone call you and rushed off.

He brushed it off, knowing not only were you the maid of honor but the brides sister which he assumed came with more than normal responsibilities during a wedding.

He was confident that one way or another, he'd reconnect with you.

He was sure of it.

Halfway through, it was time for toasts. 

Your sister looked at you and nodded after the DJ announced it, signaling she wanted you to go first. 

You took a deep breath and stood from your seat, taking your glass of champagne in your hand and then gently tapping the knife on it. Everyone started to calm down and look at you. 

You went to start when someone ran over and handed you a microphone, “Oh.. god, ok…” you suddenly got nervous so you chuckled shyly, “Uhm… good evening everyone. For those that don’t know me, I am Lila’s big sister and the maid of honor.” you smiled softly and then pulled out your phone, “I just wanted to say a few words and wishes to the happy couple tonight.” 

You looked up to where your sister and Ben were sitting and let out a breath. “I uhm… I first met Ben when he was standing on my parent's front porch with a bouquet of lilies 3 years ago— pacing back and forth, practicing how he was going to tell Lila how pretty as he rehearsed it to the wall.” You smiled at Ben, and he chuckled and nodded, remembering.

You continued, “We said hello, I gave the usual ‘You hurt her, I’ll kill you and make it look like an accident’ talk…” You joked and shrugged nonchalantly, and the crowd chuckled. 

“He took her to see a play. I believe they went to see Phantom of the Opera, right?” You looked at them, and they nodded. 

“Anyway– the importance of this was she had gone out with 3 other guys before Ben that month. She’s also not a big theatre person…” You looked at her, “Which, who doesn’t like the theatre?” you teased. 

The crowd chuckled and you smiled and looked back at your phone and set it down on the table, “But after all three of those dates– she didn’t come home and have the stupid idiot, ‘I’m in love’ smile plastered on her face, the one that has been stuck on her face ever since she went out with Ben.” you smiled at your sister and she teared up, nodding at you. 

“You’ve made each other smile brightly… warmly… and with every ounce of love and adoration since that night. I hope that everyone can find that type of love in their lifetime; that they find their Ben, their Lila.” You nodded at them. 

You cleared your throat and took a breath, feeling yourself tear up, “There's, uh, there's a poem that I found by Kiersten White that says, 

‘And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you, and I'd choose you’...” 

You took a moment and looked around the room, and saw Harry, he was looking at you the way Ben looked at Lila when they first met– like he was content. He was looking at you like you hung the moon and stars. 

Your heart skipped a beat, more butterflies erupted in your stomach, and the devil betrayed you because a blush bloomed across your cheeks as well as a small smile. 

You quickly looked away and found your sister and Ben, swallowing down the jackhammer that was currently trying to break down your walls. 

“I, uhm...” you let out a shaky breath, trying to refocus.

You flexed your hand at your side anxiously and then took a deep breath, “I can trust that in any lifetime, in any world, you two would find each other."

You sighed and teared up seeing your sister wiping her eyes, "I can’t ask for better comfort… to know my best friend… my little sister will know what it is to be loved in every circumstance.” you lightly chuckled seeing Ben lean over and kiss Lila’s cheek, making a tear fall.

Your lip quivered slightly as you began to speak again so you chuckled it away and shook your head, looking down for a moment and then back up at Ben.

“Ben, welcome to the family… I love you like a brother and couldn’t be more excited for you and my sister’s union today.” you smiled and tsked feeling more tears threatening to fall, “So with that, I’d like to toast to the happy couple, may your days be filled with love, laughter, and light– cheers.” you raised your glass and so did everyone else.

You nodded at your sister, assuring her you were ok, just happy for her.

She had tears falling down her cheeks, nodding back at you, then mouthed, ‘I love you’ to which you mouthed back. 

After you sat back down, Ben’s brother, one of the other groomsmen, proposed a toast as well. To which was mainly sharing some embarrassing stories of him but turned out quite heartfelt and tender at the end. 

After the toasts were done, it was time for the couple’s first dance.

The slow music that you sister and Ben had picked out started playing over the speakers, and the lights dimmed. You turned around in your chair to watch them on the dance floor. You leaned your chin against the back of the chair.

You were over the moon for your sister, so happy for her to find her happiness. 

However, in this moment, you realize just how long you have put on a happy face. Since her engagement, you’d not let yourself feel anything but that- forged happiness.

Because as you watched them dance, whispering words of love to each other– a part of you felt sadness, and maybe some envy. 

You can’t remember the last time you’d felt that vulnerable, that free with someone. The last time you felt a fraction of what you’d imagine she was feeling was back in high school at your senior prom. 

‘God, that’s pathetic…’ you thought. That was over 15 years ago. 

You shook your head and refocused, beginning to look around the room at all the happy couples as they watched them dance– observing their expressions, their reactions to their partners sitting next to them, surely whispering words of love as well. 

You were so lost in your thoughts, so deep into the moment, that you didn’t hear the DJ announce for everyone else to join them on the dance floor for the next slow dance. 

Your parents stood and started walking out to the dance floor together, pulling you from your thoughts.

You smiled at them and then looked back and around at all the happy couples joining them before you stood from your chair. You leaned down to grab your glass to go get another drink when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. 

You leaned back up and turned around to find Harry, smiling softly at you with his hand outstretched to you, “May I have this dance?” using those brown puppy dog eyes to his advantage. 

You looked at him and softly chuckled, feeling shy and nervous under his gaze. “I uh… I don’t know how to…” you started, trying to come up with an excuse. 

“I’ll teach you…” He held his hand out a little more, “Just one dance?” he smiled just a little softer, tilting his head to the side playfully. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, contemplating, and then sighed softly, “Just one…” you put your glass down as you smiled a little and then took his hand gently- this time a spark of electricity zinged up throughout your body. 

He walked with your hand in his out to the dance floor and put the two of you in the middle, lost in the crowd, but when he turned to stand in front of you, it was like the rest of the world disappeared. 

It was just you and him. 

“So you’re going to hold my hand like this…” he moved your hand in his slowly, looking at your hands together then he looked back down at you, “Then your other hand can either rest on my chest… or on my shoulder or around my back…” he explained quietly, his expression was soft and tender.

You swallowed nervously and blushed. You nodded before putting it softly around his back and resting your hand on the back of his shoulder.

“I’m going to put my other hand on your waist…” he gently put his hand on your waist, pulling you closer to him slowly, your faces now impossibly close. 

You couldn’t help but smile at how close you were to him, slightly blushing deeper.

His cologne smelled of bourbon and woodsmoke– it was intoxicating. It was comforting. It calmed you. 

His hands were gentle and soft in the way he held you– like you were something to cherish. You felt like the only person in the world, in his world. 

He softly spoke, interrupting your thoughts, “...and then all we’re going to do is step and sway back and forth…” he began to lead, and you followed. 

The music was soft as you swayed with him. There was like a bubble you were both in– everything around you felt blurred or muffled.

After a few moments of silence, you looked up at him and tilted your head. 

“So, you said you recognized me earlier…” You let out a nervous chuckle. “Should I be concerned?” you teased. 

He immediately looked down at you and brought your hand in his, closer to his chest. This effectively pulled you a little closer so you two could hear each other better over the loud music. 

He chuckling softly, “No– nothing like that. I’ve just been to your sister’s house. I’ve seen a few photos of you around her place…” he smiled softly down at you. 

You nodded. “Ah, I see…” You let out a dramatic breath of relief. 

He let out a soft chuckle again, then scoffed, “What? Did you think me a stalker or something?” he acted offended with the biggest smile across his face. 

You smiled and pulled your head back a fraction, “No! No… I just… I don’t have very good luck with guys, that’s all…” You looked down for a moment, chuckling at his playfulness. 

He hummed. “How so?” he asked, still looking down at you. Noticing you slowly opening up to him. Instinctively, his thumb started softly rubbing up and down on your waist as if he was trying to soothe you, coax you to open up to him. 

You looked up at him and saw something in the way he looked at you. He was looking at you like there was something worth looking at. 

However, this was something that immediately set off warning bells in your head. Ones that sounded the alarm to ‘man the walls’, ‘weapons at the ready’ type of alarm. 

Ones that have been up for the last few months whenever something feels like this happens. Or when it feels like it’s getting real. Mechanisms that, over time, you've used to try to keep your heart safe.

You bit the inside of your cheek, and that wall went up– closing yourself back off. “Just… not had the best luck is all.” You cleared your throat and looked at the flower on his chest to focus on something that wasn’t his gaze. 

He swallowed and bit his lip as he looked down at you, noticing the way you were closing yourself up again.

He’d known about what you’d been through, why you were closing up.

Unfortunately, he knew a few of the men that disrespected your time as they were men he and Ben worked with. Men he didn't understand why Ben and Lila would set you up with other than they were single and mutual friends.

Ben and he were good friends. They hung out often as they not only worked together but they had also had been friends since childhood, so there was that element too- a brotherhood. 

That being said, whenever you came home early from a date and called Lila with the news and he was over at their house, he heard how Lila would try to talk you through it. 

He was at Ben and Lila's when your last serious relationship ended on account of Damon, your ex, cheating on you. The sound of your cries on the other side of the phone as you sobbed and questioned your worth– no one should ever go through that. 

After the dating apps ultimately turned you off to the idea of love– Lila would always try to set you up with mutual friends of hers or Ben’s– insisting since they knew them, it'd work out.

For some reason, though, he was never in the running– they never offered him. 

He didn’t know why– maybe it was the different lifestyles? Perhaps Lila just didn’t think the two of you as compatible? 

He never knew why, but today he confirmed there was something between the two of you. There was a spark.

He felt it. 

He knew you felt it, too.

From the way you’d smile at him or the way you melted into his touch, he knew– now he just needed to convince you to give him a chance. He just needed a way in to start breaking down those walls you kept reinforcing.

He hummed and looked over at Ben and Lila as they danced. “I’ve had my fair share of bad luck too lately…” he admitted, trying to find common ground. “I took someone out last week… turns out they were just in it for the wrong reasons.” 

You looked up at him, eyes expressing empathy. “Yeah? What reason? If you don't mind me asking...” 

He tsked, “She was in it for the money.”

You chuckled, “You’re kidding me…” You chuckled more, thinking it was a joke, but then you realized he wasn’t laughing along. 

You quickly stopped, and your smile faded. “Wait, you’re not kidding…” you realized. "Fuck... I'm so sorry..." you looked down, cursing again under your breath.

He couldn’t help but smile widely. “No, it's ok."

He waited for you to look back up before continuing "I, uh… god, how do I say this?” he chuckled. 

You chuckled, now embarrassed but chuckled nonetheless, “You’re loaded?” you joked. 

He chuckled a little louder, turning some heads around you, so he leaned in close to hide his chuckle, making you giggle. 

He looked at you, your eyes meeting his, and slowly stopped chuckling, “I uh, I do well for myself… I’ll say that.” he cleared his throat softly. 

You nodded and then looked at your hand in his, noticing the ring he was wearing. “Well for yourself? Harry, that ring costs more than a year of my salary…” you teased, smiling back up at him. “Who the hell are you?” you raised your eyebrow playfully. 

Boom, there it was– the wall’s foundation cracking.

He took a moment and looked down at you, hearing the song close to ending, so he took a chance- he dove head first. 

He smiled and nodded at you, “Let me take you out to dinner, I’ll show you…” he softly rubbed your waist with his thumb, “What do you say?” he leaned in a closer. 

No sirens. No alarm bells.

Instead- Boom. One brick down. Bang bang… another. 

You blushed, and the smile you had across your face somehow brightened at his boldness. 

You took a moment, reading his eyes, trying to find something, anything to tell you to say no, but you couldn’t. He was sure of himself, so sure of you. 

You swallowed shyly and went to answer when your dad interrupted, clearing his throat and putting his hand on Harry’s shoulder from behind him, “Mind if I cut in?” he said with a smile on his face, obviously not picking up on what was going on. 

Harry’s eyes shot over to your dad's and he chuckled politely, slowly letting go of your waist but not your hand as it fell between you two, away from your dad, “Of course sir…” he looked down at you, “I’ll uh… I’ll find you later?” he said with hope in his tone. 

You felt him run his thumb over your knuckles softly, you couldn’t stop the butterflies from erupting deep down. 

You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded, “Yeah, find me later…” you gave his hand a small squeeze of reassurance. 

He pursed his lips together to try and suppress the grin that was forcing itself on his lips but failed, “I will…” he said softly. 

Your dad cleared his throat again, and Harry chuckled nervously and let go of your hand slowly, gently patting your dad's arm, “Good to see you again, Richard…” then walked away, heading towards the bar, looking back over his shoulder at you once more. 

Your dad hummed then softly took your hand and positioned himself to dance with you. He caught your eyeline and nodded at you, “How you holding up, kiddo?” he smiled down at you. 

You looked up at him and gently smiled, “I’m good– other than my feet killing me, I’m good.” You chuckled. 

“Harry wasn’t botherin’ you?” he nodded over his way, raising his eyebrows.

You tsked and sighed, “Dad…” you softly laughed, knowing what he was doing. 

He shrugged, “What? Can you blame me for worryin’?” he looked down at you, eyes soft with concern.

You shook your head, “No… no he wasn't.” you looked down and bit your lip, then looked back up at him, your expression softening, “What do you know about Harry? I mean other than he’s a good friend of Ben’s…” you inquired. 

He looked out into the distance as he thought about what he had known from speaking to Ben about him previously and then speaking to him earlier today, “He’s some big wig in the city… makes real good money. Uh… I know from speakin’ to him earlier that he’s been good friends with Ben since they were young?” he looked at back you curiously, “Why do you ask?”

You shrugged and looked over at Ben and Lila, avoiding his eye contact, “Just askin’...” you said softly, sighing softly. 

Your dad looked over at Harry, who was sitting by the bar, watching the two of you. He smiled softly at your dad– your dad nodded at him politely, then turned back to you, picking up on what he may have just interrupted between the two of you. 

He spoke up softly, “If it’s… just in case you’re wonderin’... I know Ben wouldn’t let him near you without a ten-foot pool if he was bad news, right?” 

You chuckled softly, looking at Ben, knowing how protective he had always been with you, “Yeah… that’s true.” 

He took a breath and cleared his throat, attempting to get your attention. “Bug?”

You looked up at him, your eyes soft and curious. “Yeah, Dad?”   

“I know you’re not lookin’ right now, and your heart is still mendin’... but take it from me… don’t let a good thing pass by just because you think you’re not worthy of it.” he looked at you with nothing but love in his eyes, “I love you bug, and I just want you to be happy.” 

Your dad was someone who rarely spoke his mind. For him to say any of that shocked you. You took a moment before you smiled and leaned up, kissing his cheek, “I love you too, Dad…” 

He smiled, then took your hands, backed up, and slowly spun you around, making you giggle happily as he pulled back and hugged you gently as the song came to an end. 

The DJ came onto the audio system, and an old country song that your sister and dad loved started to play. You immediately knew what that meant as you looked at Lila, who was letting go of Ben’s hands. 

The DJ announced over the room, “If everyone will please exit the dance floor, we will be havin’ the daddy-daughter dance now…” the music gradually getting a little louder. 

Your dad kissed your cheek softly, “I’ll see you later, Bug…” and then walked away towards your sister, leaving you on the dance floor.

You moved off the floor with everyone and then looked towards the bar, expecting to see Harry there, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. 

You looked around and tried to find him in the reception hall but couldn’t see him, he just seemed to have vanished. He was just there; where could he have gone?

The longer you stood there looking around, your heart dropped a little. 

After a few moments, you shook your head in disappointment and sighed. You cursed yourself for thinking that maybe something was happening between the two of you. The insecurity creeping itself back in. 

You could feel your ears hear up the more embarrassed you felt, a lump forming in the back of your throat as well. 

You clenched your jaw and breathed out a breath through your nostrils, grabbing your phone before you looked up and started walking over to the bar to reinforce that wall that had started to come down.

“Marinti, please?” you looked at the bartender. She nodded and smiled, starting to make it. 

You sat on one of the stools and tucked your hair behind your ear, watching the woman make your drink, blocking out everything else around you. 

Not long after, a young man came up to you, one of Ben’s old college roommates that Lila had tried to set you up with weeks ago, who had bailed at the last minute. 

“Hey, you’re Lila’s sister, right?” he hiccuped, obviously intoxicated. 

You turned your head and politely smiled, “Guilty as charged...” then looked back to the bartender as she handed you your drink, smiling and nodding at her to thank her. 

“I’ll uh, buy you a drink…” he smirked, “I’m Diego…” he held his hand out, leaning against the bar on his side, crowding your space. 

You chuckled softly, taking a sip of your drink. “Well, Diego, as flattering as that I’m sure would be— it’s an open bar, so no one needs to buy anyone a drink… it’s all been paid for...” you said, sounding a bit sarcastic and annoyed. 

He didn’t catch the tone and snapped his fingers, like he’d had an epiphany, “Oh! You’re right!” he chuckled, “You… you’re so smart. Lila said you were smart…” he scooted a little closer to you, tapping the bar to ask for another drink from the bartender. 

You took another sip of your drink, and nodded, “I am smart.” you then sighed at him looking at you up and down, feeling grossed out by the way his eyes darkened lustfully, “I’m also not interested in whatever tree you’re tryna bark up Diego…” you tightly smiled, now annoyed by his presence, taking another sip of your drink. 

He frowned and tsked, “Oh come on, don’t be like that baby…” he put his hand on the small of your back, which made you choke on your drink. 

You coughed then turned and shoved him off you, “I am not your baby and I won’t repeat it, back off asshole…” you warned. 

He tilted his head, and a new darkness fell over him, one that raised a huge red flag in your mind.

He bit his lip, then raised his eyebrow, offended by your action. So he did what any tiny dicked asshole would do and attempted to make you feel just as small.

“Man, you know... they were all right about you… you’re a fuckin’ mess.” he spat, not liking the rejection he’d just received.

You felt your face turn red and tears start to well up, your heart beating so damn loudly that you could hear it in your ears.

You shook your head and clenched your teeth, looking down at your drink then picked it up, “You know what? Maybe I am a mess… but you just showed how tiny your dick is by that antic.” you splashed your drink on him and then smiled tightly, “Good luck scoring with someone else tonight smelling like that." you set your glass down.

"If there’s one thing that will dry a pussy up— it’s a man that smells like bad news…” You then quickly grabbed your things and walked past him towards the main exit doors. 

You needed fresh air. You needed to get away from all this. It was all too much.

Harry had to step away to take a work call, so he moved to the bathroom area to find some quiet. 

When he started walking back to the bar and saw you splash Diego with your drink and then storm out the other end of the hall. He weaved through the party crowd as fast as he could to follow you, concern written on his face. 

When you opened the doors of the venue, you were met with a bitter cold gust of wind, making your breath hitch in the back of your throat. 

You stepped out and let the door fall closed behind you. Your breathing then quickly became frantic and quick, emotions crashing down on you. 

You felt suffocated by this whole night, by this whole last week. Diego just shut off the damn ventilator that was helping you breath. 

You moved your feet forward and kept walking, beginning to somewhat hyperventilate, tears now falling. 

You whispered as you quickly walked down the long set of stairs, needing to get as far away from that damn building as quickly possible, “F-fuck… fuck him… fuck all of it…” you muttered, softly sobbing. 

You kept walking and just so happened to stroll into a vineyard area to the left, hugging your arms as you walked in the cold. 

You felt so embarrassed, so humiliated by what Diego had said.

Is that what they all thought of you? Were you that big of a mess? Is that what Harry picked up on? Was that why he left?

Through the tears that partially blinded your vision, you saw a fountain in the middle of the vineyard. Fairy lights were gathered in the middle, creating an almost peaceful atmosphere. 

It was beautiful. It was sanctuary. 

You started to jog slowly to it, picking up the front of your dress. 

Harry burst through the front doors, softly calling your name, expecting you to be there but when he didn’t find you he looked around, buttoning up his jacket due to the cold, “Fuck… where are you?” he asked himself. 

His eyes searched the area.

There were only two things you could have done: hail a taxi and leave— which you wouldn’t do. He knew your sister would never let you live that down. That or escape somewhere close by. 

He walked down the stairs, and then he saw the vineyard off to the side. Something in his gut told him to go that way, so he did. 

He followed the path, looking down every quiet corner or empty bench. 

When he got to the end of it and saw you by the fountain, sitting on the edge, your fingers dancing across the water— he let go of his breath.

He softened at the image before him, taking in the simple yet overwhelming beauty you were to him. 

He went to walk but then stopped for a moment and swallowed before clearing his throat, trying not to startle or scare you, “You know, when you said to find you later, I was thinkin’ more by the bar or on the dance floor…” he teased as he put his hands in his pockets as he started walking towards you. 

You turned around and saw him and for a split second, your heart leapt. You felt a sense of happiness, relief– but then that stupid insecurity overshadowed it and drop-kicked it out of your being. 

You quickly looked back down at your lap, sadly chuckling, “I’m sorry. I thought you left. I couldn’t find you after I was finished with my dad…” You turned back towards the water and wiped your eyes on the back of your hand, hoping he didn’t see.

He tilted his head as saw you wipe your tears. “I made you a promise, querida…” he said and then sat down on the edge of the fountain, turning his head to look at you, “I’m a man of my word.” 

You nodded, keeping your eyes on the water, little fish coming up to your fingertips, “You’re a rarity amongst men if that’s the case…” then scoffed out a chuckle.

He let the moment sit in silence, letting you have the peace he could tell you needed. 

The music from the reception hall was loud enough you could hear it from where the two of you were.

He listened to the music, and as it began to slow down, an instrumental version of 'Your Needs, My Needs' by Noah Kahan started to play. 

He stood and turned to face you, extending his hand, “We never got to finish our dance…” his eyes soft, inviting. His smile was tender and gentle. 

You looked up at him and then his hand, everything in your body cemented you where you sat. Everything was telling you not to reach up and take his hand, but when you levetated to your feet and took his hand, it almost felt like it was a gravitational pull– it was magnetic.

He pulled you softly to the middle of the courtyard, then let go of your hand. “First things first…” he took off his suit jacket and then wrapped it around your shoulders. “Can’t have you catchin’ a cold, can we?”

You put your arms through the sleeves. It drowned you. 

You looked down at yourself and couldn’t help but giggle at how ridiculous you must look.  

He chuckled and took a step back to look at you, “Much better…” he stepped back and then effortlessly took your hand again. “Now come ‘ere…” then put his hand on your waist, pulling you close. 

You blushed so red that you felt like there might be steam coming from how hot your cheeks felt against the bitter cold at the way he was with you.

Your other hand instinctively landed on his shoulder, lightly holding onto it. You looked down to suppress the smile that had been plastered across your lips. 

He swayed with the music, smiling to himself, knowing he was pulling you out of that shell, knocking down that wall again. 

He waited a few moments, then tempo changed he chuckled and took a small step back to spin you around slowly. 

You giggled and spun around slowly, looking up at him, seeing he was smiling just as much as you were.

When he pulled you back into him, you lost your balance, the alcohol you’d had earlier making you feel a bit light on your feet. You fell into him, lightly yelping as you did so. 

You knocked both of you back a few steps, but he recovered with ease. “Woah there…” he teased as his arm wrapped around your waist to catch you as he stumbled back, chuckling.

You giggled a little louder, feeling silly for the loss of balance. “Told you I couldn’t dance…” 

He chuckled and rubbed his thumb against the small of your back that his hand was now holding you at, “You never said you couldn’t dance, querida… just that you didn’t know how…” he corrected as he retook your hand, pulling it close to his chest, in between the two of you, starting to sway with you once again. 

You pulled back a little to bounce something back at him, putting your hand on his chest to help you balance. 

But your mind was distracted as you could feel his heartbeat against your palm, it pounding just as quickly as yours.

He was just as excited and nervous as you were with him.

You heard him say your name softly, but it was muffled, your head swirling. 

He said it again, this time using his hand on your back to gently pinch your chin between his thumb and forefinger, pulling your eyes up to meet his, saying your name once more, and leaning in a tad. 

Your name sounded different coming off his tongue. It sounded right. It was like everyone had been saying your name incorrectly– you’d been saying it wrong.

With him, it felt warm, full of light– he gave it purpose.   

You were about to say something, having even inhaled before, but before the first syllable came out of your mouth, your phone dinged a couple of times, interrupting the moment. 

You cleared your throat, "Sorry, excuse me..."

You stepped out of his arms and walked over to it as it lay on the concrete wall of the fountain. You picked it up and looked down at it. It was your mom. 

‘Where are you? Lila is about to leave! She said you’re in charge of handing out sparklers to guests?’ 

‘Hello?’ 

‘I need you to answer me…’

‘This isn’t a time to sulk and disappear if that’s what you’re doing. You need to come back to the venue.’

You sighed softly and swallowed down everything you’d been feeling, reality setting back in, that last message hitting a nerve. 

You felt the wall reinforce itself, and with that, you went back to closing yourself up. 

You typed back as response then looked up at Harry as he stood there, waiting for you with a soft smile on his face.

“Sorry uhm, I need to get back…” You picked up your things. You took off his jacket and gently handed it to him, smiling politely before starting to walk back, keeping your head down. 

There was that shift again. The warmth he just felt you exude, and again when you were both on the dance floor in his arms– it was gone. Things had changed. You closed back up. What happened? What the hell did Diego say to you? Who the hell just texted you?

He stood there, and something fueled inside him; he wasn’t one to give up so easily. 

He put his jacket on and quickly caught up with you. “Wait- I’ll walk with you…” He gently placed his hand on the small of your back. 

You kept your eyes forward or down, avoiding eye contact with him. That insecurity that Diego had found earlier was back to its normal scheduled programming of making you feel small, insignificant– worthless.

He cleared his throat softly as you exited the vineyard and started walking back towards the venue, “Hey uhm, whatever Diego said to earn you throwing a drink at him, don’t listen to him— he’s a fool.” he turned his head to look down at you. 

You shook your head and tsked, “Yeah… well, he had a point.” you said numbly as you started walking back up the stairs. 

He stopped and stayed at the bottom, looking at you as you went up. “What did he say to dim that pretty light of yours?” 

You stopped a few steps up, your hand on the rail, and kept your eyes fixated on the ground, tears starting to well in your eyes as you replayed his words in your mind. You moved up a few more stairs. 

He walked up a couple of stairs as you moved, to be just below you, proclaiming, “Because whatever he said, cariño, I can prove that he’s wrong…” he said softly, sounding like he was pleading for a chance. 

You stopped moving, and for a split second, those doors opened back up. You felt like you were easing into him, trusting in his words. 

However, just as fast as they opened, they shut– your mom being the catalyst. 

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” she shouted from the top of the stairs, looking down at you with her hand on her hip. She then saw Harry below you and she instantly changed her tone, “Oh Harry, sweetheart, how’s your evening been?” 

You sighed and shook your head, scoffing at her personality change before running up the stairs, leaving Harry where he was. 

He was so close, so close to breaking through those walls.

He looked up at your mom, “Evenin’, Mrs. Winters.” he politely smiled then his eyes followed you as you ran up the stairs. 

He was now determined more than before. He wouldn’t allow you to think of yourself in any way that someone like Diego might have described you or whoever texted you.

Hell no. 

He clenched his jaw and scaled the stairs up to her. “Did you need your daughter’s help with something? Perhaps I can assist?” he smiled.

About 20 minutes later, you had everyone outside and sparklers lit, the happy couple running down the stairs down to a limo that was ready to take them to the airport for their honeymoon. 

After you and the families said goodbye as they left, everyone started to clear out and pack up. 

Your mom grabbed your arm and pulled you aside at the bottom of the stairs. "Okay, so to get the deposit back, we need to have this place cleaned in the next two hours.” She had a panicked look in her eye. 

You chuckled, your feet and back aching from the long day you’d had, unlike her, who had spent most of the night drinking champagne. “You’re kidding, right?” You looked at her in disbelief. Leave it to her to do something like this after a day like this. 

She raised her eyebrow and laughed, pulling you by the hand up the stairs, “Oh, Bug, you’re so funny— of course, I’m not kidding!” 

Harry was talking to another groomsman towards the top when he saw you being dragged by your mom. He excused himself and ran inside after you both. “Mrs. Winters!” he called. 

Your mom turned around and smiled brightly, letting your hand go, “Oh, thank you so much for all your help today, dear!” She touched his arm, smiling brightly at him.

He smiled down at you, then looked at your mom. “I, uh, was wondering if you needed any help with the cleanup?” He was going to do anything he could to spend more time with you tonight. 

“Oh, there’s no need for that! My Richard said you had an early morning— you should go home and get some sleep! I’m sure today has been so exhausting for you.” she tsked sympathetically and now patting his arm. 

He smiled warmly, “That’s very kind of you but with all due respect, ma’am, it wouldn’t be right of me as the best man to leave you to do all this work.” he put his hand over hers, “Put me to work— I must insist.” he winked at her. 

Your mom looked at you and raised her eyebrow towards Harry as she leaned over to whisper to you. “See now, why can’t you find a man like him, Bug?” she jabbed at you, in her way, trying to be funny. 

Normally, you’d feed into her humor and punch something back. However, that hit a nerve this time. 

You looked at her sadly and bit your lip, then muttered under your breath as you turned away, “I’m going to go… do something else…” Then you walked away towards the refreshment table, going to pack up the food first. 

Your mom noticed the sudden drop in your mood and felt like shit. “Shoot, I…” she sighed and wanted to go after you but knew you would need space from her after something like that. 

Harry noticed how the comment immediately made you shrink, and the look you had across your face broke his heart.

He looked down at your mom and cleared his throat softly. “I’m going to go help her…” he nodded and then walked towards where you were packing everything up into to-go containers.   

He came up and stood next to you, starting to help pack up the food in silence. After a few minutes he stopped and turned his head, “I don’t know what Diego said, or what’s goin’ on..." he softly sighed.

"You don’t have to say anything, but just know I’m here. “ I’m here if you need someone to talk to,” he said, reaching over and gently touching your hand, which was lying flat on the table as you listened to him.

You clenched your jaw, and tears began to well up at his touch. You kept your eyes on the box in front of you, doing everything you could to not melt into a puddle of tears in front of him. 

For the last few months, there was a pain deep in your chest that had been festering– not allowing anyone in, anyone close enough to you.

However, no matter how hard that fester tried to push him away or avoid him tonight, he kept coming back. He kept showing up. 

You couldn’t help but feel the pain start to morph into something different under his touch. It wasn’t pain, it wasn’t depression, it wasn’t sadness. 

Instead, it was something light. It was something hopeful. 

It was your heart starting to beat again- beginning to mend. 

Next Chapter

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Stark Contrast 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, lies, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: your online friend isn’t who he claims to be.

Characters: Tony Stark

Sister series to Captain’s Orders

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You close yourself in a stall and nearly scream. What the heck? This can't be real. Tony Stark. Eddie. One and the same. It's impossible. 

Think about it. Last night, you texted, then right there, you saw him on screen, check his phone. Coincidence. But then, how did he know your username? He's really good with tech, right? You could easily dox yourself. But then, what about Eddie? Why would he pretend to be some engineer. He is an engineer... 

It's adding up. But it can't. You can't have been talking to Tony Stark for the last year. That's impossible. Not you! 

Alright. You are not going to be his joke. You're going to go out there and tell him you know exactly what he's doing. He's making fun of you and it's not funny at all. Should he, some rich dude, probably the richest dude, have better hobbies? 

You push the stall door and grunt. It's pull. Right. You open it and slip through. 

You hurry to the door and slip in an errant puddle of water. Yeah, it's not your turn to deal with that. Don't stop, don't lose your nerve.  

Who are you to tell off Tony Stark? A billionaire? An avenger? Oof, the more you think about it, the closer you get, the worse an idea this all seems. The more scrambled the words in your head grow. 

You look down the aisles, retracing your steps to where you left him. He's not there. Yet, you hear him. His familiar, quite notable voice, carries in the dead store. Ugh, how did you not realise sooner? Now, you hear it. 

You storm down the soap dish aisle and see him standing casually as he talks to Julie. She doesn't look impressed. You come closer, slowing as his words grow clearer. 

"Yeah, she's quitting." He declares. 

You stop short and do a double take. He's not talking about you. 

"What?" Julie hisses. 

"Yeah, the job sucks. Shit pay," he puts one finger up, his other hand in his pants pocket, "uniform does nothing for that ass, and you're kind of a bitch, Julia." 

"Julie," she snarls and her eyes dart over to you. 

You gulp and sputter. Tony glances at you over his shoulder and smirks. 

"What's going on?" You squeak. 

"Well, sweetheart, I was just sharing the good news that you're moving on to greener pastures." He taunts and turns back to your manager. He tilts his head defiantly. "Not like you'll be hurting. Place is a ghost town." 

You blink as your mouth hangs open. Oh gosh, just when you thought things couldn't get worse. 

"No, I-- I'm not. I don't know him. I don't know what he's talking about--" you argue. 

Julie curls her lip. 

"Ech, you," she points at you, "get out of my store. Now." 

You flinch and look between her and Tony. He steps closer and brings his hand to your lower back. He pushes Julie's hand down. 

"Listen, Julianna, don't point at my girl like that," he warns. 

"Excuse me? This is still my store," she blusters. "I don't care who you are." 

"Uh huh," he clucks and drags his hand along your lower back as he stands straight. He reaches under his jacket and takes out his phone. "Hey, hun," he says as he dials out and puts the phone to his ear, "do me a favour, what's the store number?" 

She scoffs, "go to hell." 

"Fine, whatever," he snickers then leans into the phone, "Hey, Happy, do me a favour, look up the big box store..." he rambles on your city and the location. "Yeah, uh huh. Buy it. No, no, don't ask. Just do it. Thanks." 

He hangs up. You frown and push your shoulders up. This can't be real. 

"We'll wait for the paperwork and all that messy stuff to go through, Jenny," Tony slides his phone away. "But when it does, you're fired. Hell, I might come back just to see you hand in your keys." 

He snorts and swoops his arm around you. You wince as he ushers you forward. You're too dumbfounded to react. What is he doing? What did he do? 

You get outside before you snap back to earth. You plant your feet and try to pull away. He faces you but keep a hold of your arm. 

"So, how about some shwarma--" 

"What did you do? I need this job! I'm-- I'll lose my apartment! Oh, gosh." 

"Relax, that's not going to happen--" 

"I don't-- I-- but--" 

"It's not going to happen, babe," he brings his hand up to frame your face and steps closer, "because you're not gonna be living in that apartment. Say goodbye to this shit heap. You're moving on. Big leagues. New York. I got a nice big condo. A whole tower--" 

"Oh my god," you wriggle free of his grasp and spin away. "Oh, I'm gonna barf. This isn't real. It's not-- Tony-- Eddie. You," you face him again. "Look, this little game, it's not fun for me. You just ruined my life." 

"I bought the damn place. You want a job, I'll put you top of the pay roll--" 

"No, it's-- er--- jeez." 

“Good, because you’re not going to have time,” he goes to grab you and you dodge away from him. 

“Why? Why are you doing this? What are you doing?” You stay just out of reach. 

He smirks, “sweetheart, do you know how many women dream of this? Of me? A handsome billionaire sweeping you away from your boring life.” 

“Other women. Go find them.” 

He laughs. “You’re funny. It’s what I like about you.” 

“Please. Save us both the trouble and just go so I can beg my manager for my livelihood back--” 

You go to step past him and he catches your upper arm. He moves you back and tuts. He’s not smiling anymore. 

“You don’t get it. I’m Tony Stark. I don’t ask for what I want.” He squeezes until you whimper. “So let’s get going. Jet’s waiting.” 

“Jet-- but--” 

“What? Anything you leave behind, I’ll buy a new one, a better one. Now, come on.” He nudges you around and quickly hooks his arm around you. You stagger but he has you scampering. “I’m an important man and you’re about to be a real important woman.” 

“You--you can’t--” 

“I can. I am.” He says coolly as he walks you away from the store. “I flew all the way out here, I told your manager to kick rocks, and now I’m going home with what I came for.” He curls his fingers around your side as a shiny car chirps ahead of you. “Oh, and we both know how you are, sweetheart. You’re not going to stop me.” 

“But-- I--” 

“Private jet’s waiting. I went to all this trouble--” 

“My stuff! My apartment!” You twist out of his grasp. “Wait, wait, wait. This isn’t-- this is a joke.” 

“I’m a funny guy but I have a better sense of humour than that,” he says as he extends his arms. “I’m all yours, baby.” 

You gape at him, “I don’t-- I don’t want... that.” 

“Don’t want me? Don’t want an upgrade?” He scoffs and comes closer, grabbing your hand. “Let me tell ya something. You wouldn’t be so bitter if you weren’t so insecure.” 

“I’m not--” 

“Look, baby, it’s not a bad thing. I’m trying to build you up here. Alright? You hung up on me because you feel powerless, well, I’m gonna give you that power. Money, clothes, diamonds--” 

“Ed-- Tony—I--” you stammer. He’s right. You are helpless. 

“I mean, think about it. Who’s going to stop me?” He grins. “Not you.” 

Your eyes round and you grimace. He laughs again. It irks you. 

“You got no job, soon enough, you’ll be out of that shitty apartment too.” 

“That’s not--” You blink. “Why?” 

“Why? Do I really have to answer that?” 

You stare at him. 

He raises your hand and puts it on his shoulder as he yanks you closer, hooking his other arm around you. You lean away from him as you brace his shoulder. He nuzzles your cheek. 

“I came to take what’s mine,” he growls. “I put too much time into you, sweetheart. Tony Stark doesn’t walk away empty handed.” 

“I’m not... I’m not a thing,” you whisper and look him in the face. 

“No, you’re much more than that,” he assures you as he brings his hand to your chin. “So, let’s get a hop on it.” He drops his hand down your back and taps your ass. “I’m gonna take you back to New York, get you all dolled up, wine ya, dine ya, you know the rest.” 

Your lashes flutter. You’re dizzy. This can’t be real. You keep telling yourself that but here you are. No escape. 

“Alright,” he turns and keeps his arm across your back and checks his watch. “That pilot hates me so better not piss him off. I’ve been in enough crashes.” 

Enough? It’s probably the least concerning thing he’s said. No, it’s just another brick in the wall he built right at your back. 

🔴

You’re so rigid your bones hurt. You grip the arms of the leather chair and stare, wide-eyed, choked into silence. The situation is suffocating enough but it’s that other fear that has you paralysed. 

The thrum of the jet engine has you shaking. You’re still on the ground but not for long. You’re not ready to take off, let alone to go with this man. 

“Have some scotch,” Tony nudges your shoulder from beside you. “It’ll help.” 

You don’t react. You need to get up and leave. He can’t just spirit you away like this. It doesn’t matter if he is Iron Man. Well, you should go but you can’t move. 

“Sweetheart,” he touches your hand. “This your first time?” 

You whimper. 

He snickers and spreads his hand over yours. He peels your grip from the armrest and lifts it. Your trembling intensifies as your chest tightens. You can only think of gravity and its deadly consequences. 

“Here,” he wraps your fingers around the cup of scotch, “drink.” 

You can’t resist him as he guides the brim to your lips. He tilts your hand in his and you swallow before you can gag on the strong liquor. You drain half the glass before he pulls your hand back. You stick out your tongue in disgust. 

“Uck!” You grimace. 

“You’ll get used to the expensive stuff,” he chortles and sits back, emptying the rest. “Is this your only first or should I be gentle tonight--” 

“Stop, please,” your voice quavers. 

“You do know who I am, right? This thing falls apart, I got my suit. I’ll get us where we need to go,” he puts the glass down and sits back. “Besides, it’s safety checked and it’s Stark manufactured. That means it’s not going to go down. I will though, just in case you’re wondering.” 

You look at him and he winks. You look forward and shudder. He grabs your hand and you try to rip it away. He’s too strong. He kisses your knuckles. 

The intercom beeps. The pilot comes on, the one he said hates him, and announces that they’re ready to take off. You close your eyes and push yourself into the seat.  

The plane begins to move. Your breath clogs in your chest. You force it out only as your head begins to pulse. 

Tony pets your hand, “ah, baby, don’t worry. Ton’s here.” 

It’s not helping. It’s just a reminder that this isn’t what you want. That no matter what you say or do, or how you feel, that you have no choice in this. He knows that. He doesn’t mean it. He’s not trying to comfort you. He knows exactly the point he’s making. 

He’s going to do whatever the hell he wants, and you’ll do the exact same. Just like this flight, you’re along for the ride. 

[rimatsu]

Ok convince me to reject caution and embrace delusion. Why are you so hopeful? 

the safe bet is definitely caution. but regardless of initial intentions, nothing is ever set in stone in the 911 writing room and that’s reason enough to remain hopeful. still, when people say the chances of a reconciliation are non-zero, i think that’s low-balling it. at the very least, we’re at 10% chance, 90% faith.

granted the interviews i (unwillingly) absorbed via osmosis don't exactly inspire confidence but again: 1) tim is fickle as the wind and writers can change their minds at the drop of a hat, 2) nothing that was directly stated by actors or showrunner contradicts the idea of a makeup arc, 3) if the breakup was intentionally designed as a temporary hurdle they’d imply otherwise anyway (oh god i sound like Them don't i.... this is a cry for help)

the reasons why 8x06 could qualify as a temporary split have been extensively discussed so i’ll try to be brief (spoiler: i failed) before tackling what i’d like to see in 8b. buckle up buttercup, i’m a yapper:

1) the breakup wasn’t written as definitive or unfixable. buck and tommy didn’t part because of irreconcilable differences or because passion/attraction fizzled out. if they wanted that door closed, tommy could’ve simply said he was uninterested in pursuing long term commitment with buck, that they’re not compatible in the long run — there: a clean, uncomplicated break. instead, we’re told that tommy desperately wants to be the person buck settles down with, but he’s convinced buck is propelled by the excitement of novelty, that he suspects buck is latching onto him for the wrong reasons, that he can’t allow himself to merge their home life together in fear he’ll never recover once buck wants out. the implications here being tommy is in love with buck already. for his part, buck came to the realization that he wants a future with tommy and immediately decided to pursue it because that's just the type of man he is: never one to do things by half-measures, seeing no value in waiting once his mind is made up. so there’s no conflicting desire there. they want the same thing: permanence with each other. the next two episodes also paint a strange picture if the goal is a definitive separation. buck bakes excessively in an attempt to cope when he never needed a coping mechanism following a breakup before, and we’re told several times that he wants to reach out — in fact buck was about to reach out until he was physically stopped. in total, 3 tommy mentions so far. usually we get the one and then buck moves on to greener pastures (abby notwithstanding, but she's an exception and not the rule, main character privilege and all). we were even deliberately shown that tommy considered contacting buck on his own. that's establishing regret and a desire for reconnection on both sides of the equation. again, that’s a never seen before: tommy is an outlier. completely unnecessary if the breakup is a done deal. whether they follow it through or not, the aftermath was written in such a way that there’s ground for a reconciliation if needs be

2) this is the first buck break up to happen during the first act of the season, something that’s normally reserved for the finale for maximum impact. why this distinction? strange placement for the end of a romantic storyline if you ask me.

3) they're never going to replicate a LI that checks out as many boxes as tommy does, or recapture the romcom magic that was 7x04-7x06. and it's fine if they don't, not all endgame romances need to be the most memorable of the bunch, but it'd be stupid to let the remaining potential go to waste. it's undeniable, the show is nearing its end, i don't imagine they get renewed past s10. if they go the natalia route again and introduce a LI at the last moment, it's going to pale in comparison to the other viable option, one that has pre-established history and connection to buck/the 118. inadvertently or not, they set up an epic love story of intertwined fate. tommy has literally haunted the narrative since the pilot: one of the very first thing abby reveals is that she’s not over tommy breaking off their (retconned) engagement. as such, tommy has played a pivotal role in shaping buck into the man he is today: if tommy hadn’t transferred out to harbor station, buck wouldn’t have found his family and his life purpose. if tommy hadn’t left abby, buck wouldn’t have realized that emotional intimacy and romantic connection is what he seeks. if tommy hadn’t kissed him, a huge part of buck’s identity would’ve remained buried and unexplored. how are they possibly going to top a red string theory dating back 8 seasons? they can’t. i’m sure they’re aware of that.

4) why bring our attention to tommy’s admiration and envy for a tight-knit unit like the 118, on three separate occasions, if the ultimate goal isn’t to reward him and integrate him into the makeshift family?

5) idk what it's worth, if it's worth anything at all, but there’s been a substantial amount of displeasure voiced over their breakup. tommy is buck’s most well-received LI to date. they took a risk with the Big Bisexual Reveal and it paid off with increased engagement and viewership. if they were still debating a reconciliation, surely they've heard that at least some people will eagerly welcome a makeup arc with open arms.

i'm a broken record so i'm probably repeating myself but here goes my ideal timeline for the rest of the season (not a speculation, not wishful thinking, but a secret third thing):

i'm gonna operate under the assumption that the breakup happened solely so buck could be at his lowest for the kidnapping plot line with a minimal/reduced support system (no boyfriend AND no best friend around when his pregnant sister is abducted). in other words, i don't think buck will be in a place to venture back into the dating world by 8x09-8x10 quite yet (i don’t actually buy the buck-dates-the-serial-killer theory). he's handled the breakup fairly well but now with the kidnapping & eddie gone/in the process of moving, i assume that's when he really starts to spiral.

(if we get a fourth tommy mention here, i'd say it's a promising sign. it’d be a purposeful way to keep him in viewers’ radar after the 4-month break)

i think getting maddie back after a few days of fear and uncertainty will be a breakthrough for buck and he’ll make a conscious decision to move on from his funk by the end of 8x10.

ideally “jumping back into the pond” would take place in 8x11 to 8x13, starting with a comedic montage of buck in a string of various failed dates. this is the part of the season where i expect him to utter the word bisexual, probably when the topic of exes comes into play. every other queer identity in the show gets labeled and stated in no uncertain terms, but bisexuality is ever only vaguely implied (nancy in ls) or shown but not explicitly spoken (buck and eva). it’s frustrating. personally i choose to believe buck’s lackluster reaction to maddie’s questionable “how many men did she turn gay?” joke was intentional on the writers’ part. it was the perfect opportunity to reaffirm his sexuality but buck didn’t bc he's not fully in tune with his queerness yet. yeah he speedran through his coming out but recalibrating your entire identity after 3 decades of presumed heterosexuality is a complex process rifled with ups and downs. i hope it gets explored with more care and depth in future episodes.

supposedly we know two things: the fling is another form of coping mechanism, and it's short-lived. chances are it's going to be a woman, and i'd love for it to be a bi girl bc 1) yay bi4bi m/f representation, 2) he's dating someone who can intimately relate to his experience and can maybe offer some additional clarity where clarity is still needed.

my other preferred scenario is that he meets a guy who immediately clocks that buck is still hung up on his ex and not emotionally available for anything more than casual fun. basically give buck a sex friend who can expose him to the LA gay scene. if my memory serves me right, OS said he'd like to see buck in queer spaces. i would like to see it too (we could’ve had that exploration with tommy but i digress….)

long story short, he eventually meets someone he has chemistry with, but it's still not as easy or companionable or butterfly-inducing as it was with tommy. buck gets back home from the seemingly successful date and he just... starts baking — wordlessly communicating to the audience that he’s still plagued by Tommy Thoughts.

now if i put on my clown shoes, i’d say the bts pictures of the 217 engines suggest an upcoming bucktommy reunion on a call (surely they were made for a reason. right. RIGHT????), ideally in 8x14. i’ve babbled about it here, but the sparknotes version is:

- there's a 5 alarm high-rise fire requiring ground and aerial ops. tommy is tasked with delivering firefighters to the roof, including the 118. the chopper ride to destination is understandably awkward but professional enough

- tommy joins ground ops once he’s completed his maximum hours of flight. he ends up trapped in a pocket of rubbles with buck after a partial structural collapse. that’s when they hash it out. it’s not pretty: they’re on edge and exhausted and full of adrenaline and words aren’t sugarcoated or minced. but they’re honest, and afterward they understand each other’s perspective.

it has been said before, but i don't think buck registered the underlying message of the breakup. we know he doesn't handle rejection well, and it's likely he was so hyperfocused on being told no that he didn’t compute the “no matter how much i want to be (your last)” part. that’d explain the 118’s strange response to the split. if i was told “my boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks i'll eventually break his heart once i figure out he's not who i truly want” i’d strongly advise communication before calling it quit prematurely. but if my friend told me “my boyfriend broke up with me when i asked him to move in bc he doesn't think we'll last bc i don’t know what i want” i would trust that they relayed the correct story and i too would discourage contact.

anyway buck has stated that he doesn’t want to chase after someone who doesn’t want him before, but now he knows that wanting was never the issue with tommy, that the breakup was fueled by insecurities and fears and trauma rather than disinterest. at first, it’s presented as reaching a necessary closure: once the fire is contained, buck and tommy part way with another “see you around, buck. i truly hope you find what you’re looking for” and a bittersweet smile. except now buck has had another breakthrough, he’s full of renewed resolved and clarity, and he’s ready to fight for this relationship, so he shows up at tommy’s doorstep the next night and pleads his case.

in 8x15-8x16, we see them readjust to being a couple except this time, it's with the knowledge that they both want serious in the long run. maybe they discover facets of each other previously kept under wraps for the sake of 'keeping it light and breezy'. also they fuck/fade to black on screen (this is imperative)

the last two episodes are focused on the closing disaster, whatever that might be. in this hypothetical timeline, we get a few more glimpses of domesticity. maybe even establish the setup for a move-in next season when bucktommy discuss buck’s lease.

you can have the helicopter crash as a treat for s9. once they're truly settled with each other and it's bound to be more devastating.

voilà <3 apologies and congratulations for your perseverance if you made it this far. the answer was never supposed to be this lengthy or tangencial oops can you tell i’m obsessed. terminally ill even

[britneyshakespeare]

also general hospital is "my mom's soap opera" and she does have ownership over it. to me. it's not independent of my mom; it does not have its own identity. my mom has been watching general hospital longer than she's been w my father. general hospital is like an auntie to me

the guy who plays lyle menendez in the horrible ryan murphy thing is from my mom's soap opera. i never realized he was my age