#i have many more text posts finished and in progress but i have this collection of tags i need to get out in the world too

[laurelwen]

Like Minds Textposts: AO3 Tag Edition 1/?

[benkyoutobentou]

12 Books for 2024 (Japanese Edition)

You may have seen my post about the twelve books I read in 2023 (here), and I thought it would be fun to follow it up with a little tbr for 2024! Ideally, I'd like to read more than twelve books in 2024, but twelve is enough for now since I've got some series on this list that I'd like to either make some serious progress in or finish up completely. This list is in no particular order!

地球星人 - 村田沙耶香: I read コンビニ人間 by Murata a few years back and loved it, and this one has been high up on my tbr for a long time now. With how many people say they're completely traumatized by it, it sounds like the perfect book for me. The only reason I haven't read this yet is because I've hyped it up so much for myself.

生命式 - 村田沙耶香: A short story collection by Murata? Sign me up ten times over. This one sounds weird and gruesome and right up my alley.

本を守ろうとする猫の話 - 夏川草介: Another cat book, who can blame me? This was also touted as being perfect for book lovers, and I haven't heard a bad review yet.

吾輩は猫である - 夏目漱石: Keeping with the cat theme, this one I actually have planned in tandem with a challenge I have to read twelve big ass classics throughout the year. Between the sheer size of this and the fact that the text is so densely packed in, this book kinda scares me. I'm planning to read it in December of next year so that I have as much time as possible to prepare haha.

世界から猫が消えたなら - 川村元気: Last cat book, I promise, but I had to keep them all together (it's actually not about cats, though). I've had this one for a long time and just picked it up on a whim. I've heard a bit of mixed reviews, but the premise sounds interesting enough, and it seems to be pretty popular.

博士の愛した数式 - 小川洋子: This was one of the first books I bought in Japanese, so it's high time that I get it off my tbr. I've seen so many people love this, in and out of the language learning community. This author also has a bunch of other popular works, so I'd really like to jump into her books and experience the hype for myself.

告白 ‐ 湊かなえ: I've seen a bit of buzz about this book in the language learning community, but what really convinced me on it was seeing people outside of language learners also enjoying it. It sounds dark and mildly depressing, and I'm hoping that it'll have some interesting commentary as well.

独り舞 - 李琴峰: Somehow, I haven't read any queer literary fiction in Japanese yet, despite it being my favorite genre, so I'm so excited to jump into this one. For the life of me I can't remember where I heard about this, but I think it'll be one of my first reads in 2024.

デゥラララ！！- 成田良悟: I used to be obsessed with the anime adaptation in middle school but never revisited the series out of fear that it wouldn't stand the test of time. After seeing a fellow language learner gush about the series, I decided to give it a shot, managed to find it at a local used bookstore, and snatched up the first volume. Don't let me down, nostalgia!

憎らしい彼 - 凪良ゆう: This is the second book in the 美しい彼 series, and even though I'd like to read the third one next year as well, I'm just combining them. Seeing this series next to series like No. 6 and キノの旅 I'm really grateful to have a trilogy on my tbr haha.

No. 6 - あさのあつこ: Saying that I would like to finish this series next year is a bit of a stretch, seeing as I have eight of ten volumes left, but I'd like to put a serious dent in it to be sure.

キノの旅 - 時雨沢恵一: This series is more of a read as I please type series for me, since there's not really any overarching plot. I'm also not racing to make progress, since there are over twenty volumes (and still going). I'm savoring this series and I'm okay with that.

[slemhosta]

I wanna thank everyone who took the time to listen to my Rosch Audio Diary project! (all 25 minutes of it- meowza!) A collection about grief, mental illness and loss!

This is sort of a "post mortem" text where I ramble about it for a bit.

I started writing down ideas for voice lines at the end of 2023, and in February 2024 i began recording them. Some are very carefully scripted like the "when I sit catatonic for hours" or the one about the wounded bird, and some are completely improvised. When I felt inspired, I grabbed my phone and started talking. "Deserve", "This is the effort" and "I don't talk about my wife" are good examples. I think you can tell the dialogue is a bit more "floaty", but I really wanted them to sound genuine while delivering a clear message.

Some ideas developed as I was recording. I knew Rosch had sold his wedding band, but it wasn't until I ran it that I realized that Ingeborg's ring was gone as well.

It was supposed to be a 3 parter. But 3 became 4, and 5 and 6. I think the progression of emotions flowed better when it was shorter. But I ended up with so many bits I liked that I had to expand. And that's a good problem to have! Some stuff from the first batch got cut though. Like 2 minutes of Rosch talking about how he banged his toe in a trash yard. Something about how his pain resistance has developed over the years. Had to go.

I've always wanted to try voice acting. :> But I never in a million years would have done this if not for my pals. I was inspired to record and share my voice because of Scrap. And I've had overwhelming support along the way from so many in the group.

So thank you, thank you, thank you <3

There was a loooong hiatus until I finally picked up the project again and got to work. So go finish your project you're working on. Make it. Because REMEMBER! It doesn't need to be perfect- it needs to be DONE! Perfect things don't exist because they're never finished! (so go make something and then share it. Do it scared, do it sloppy.)

It's really fun to think of your stuff as "projects" and to spend more time on a big thing. I love making stuff, I love sharing it and I love that I'm getting the encouragement I need to try new things and keep making it. Hooray :o)

Okay bye, end of post.

[deduction-substitute]

I think of those concept arts for the chinese academy of arts crossover and im in LOVE with Lucky's designs

Watch me make this about luckyqi and edlucky

This is a REALLY long post i will warn you. Just know that it includes doomed immortal yuri (luckyqi), reincarnation, and edgar 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 valden

Lucky being an immortal that loved the mortals and was loved back. She never cared much for grand displays or offerings, so little was actually known about her

Many people praised the same god without knowing, having their own interpretations of Lucky. Unfortunately, this also caused misunderstandings, believing that their god was superior when theyre LITERALLY PRAISING THE SAME GUY

Heartbroken by his followers turning against each other, he went down to the mortal realm to try and sort it out, which wasn't allowed and risked the loss of your immortal status

It did not work lawl. Because Qi Shiyi, another immortal, was sent down to correct Lucky's wrongdoings. By that, she was the one to dish out her punishment. I love doomed yuri ❤️

Qi Shiyi and Lucky met on the battlefield. Lucky, knowing what she came here to do, accepted his punishment.

Qi Shiyi was originally going to just bring him back, but Lucky loved his people too much to leave them and asked to be stripped of his immortality instead

Reluctantly, Qi Shiyi did as she asked and accompanied Lucky in the battlefield to help resolve the war, since it was greatly affecting other immortals too

FAST FORWARD TO HOW MANY CENTURIES LATER!!!

Many myths and legends were made about Lucky's story, of course with different variations. But all of them ended the same: with him in the arms of an unknown immortal as he took his last breath

Edgar Valden, a rising painter, got a job at a museum that wanted to use the different texts about Lucky to (hopefully) create a more accurate depiction of him

At first Edgar did NOT want to take this job, past is past or whatever, and the curator has fired multiple painters before. She was said to be a strict woman, who dedicated her whole life to preserving whatever was left about Lucky.

But the more Edgar read about Lucky the more he became enamored with him

It's silly, to have fallen in love with a myth. But the vision of Lucky that Edgar created in his mind had completely consumed him, and he obsessed over every word, every single detail he could get about the unlucky immortal

The curator of the museum would come visit sometimes to check on his progress, as well as choose which of his paintings would be included.

She often ordered Edgar to change certain parts of his piece or redo it entirely. Edgar complained about it at first, until he realized that this gave him a chance to become "closer" to Lucky

He wants his painting of Lucky to become his ultimate masterpiece. His magnum opus.

But for some reason, the curator was never satsfied with Edgar's works. Sending back each piece with harsh criticism, and making Edgar fall further down his obsession

He needed more. More about Lucky. The texts the museum supplied him with wasn't enough. So he did his own research

Edgar came up emptyhanded, and went to the curator to see if she had any more about him. She acted defensive for some reason, but eventually, after seeing how dedicated Edgar was, let him see texts that she collected and kept private from the public

For some reason, these texts were a bit too...personal?? There were letters between Lucky and the immortal (at least Edgar assumed it was them) that was with her in her last moments, scripts of characters that were written over and over again, as if the writer couldn't differentiate one from the other

But hey!! Who was Edgar to complain? He ate it all up and used it as inspiration and motivation to finish his piece

When Edgar presented his final canvas to the curator, she went pale before ordering that it would be presented in the museum as the main piece, the rest of Edgar's paintings included as well even though she rejected them before

Finally, Lucky's gallery was open to the public. Many people far and wide came to visit and admire Edgar's paintings.

One of them happened to be a young man named August, or as his friends liked to call him, Lucky.

[namesnamesandmorenames]

Okay, so since my last post I have decided to make a few previously select or multi-select properties into separate database relations properties– I've also completed separated my fanfiction and old library databases and I am letting myself put fan art banners and more fun icons on some pages lol. One of these projects– you'll be able to see which because I haven't finished it– is going to be incredibly time consuming 😞. Again, this is starting as a speech to text voice note so it's going to get really conversational and probably have typos even though I'm going to edit it later. So sorry about that. I already typed it out once I can't.

Short spiel– I'm a library science grad student who is using notion to create a person fanfiction database. It's for fun but it's kinda interesting how my classes impacted what I do with it so I decided to make a post or two. I'll do a line brake now so you don't have to read more if you're not interested 🙂

Okay so the first section I consider a like Retrieval Information section– It answers questions like have I read this? Where can I find it? Who wrote it? Is there a podfic? Who recorded it? What stage in the writing process is it (One Shot, Multi Chapters, Work In Progress, Abandoned)? Was it written for a challenge/ is it in a collection (excluding personal favorite collections which there are so many of on ao3 I swear- pet peeve but I get it I was once one of those people, now I have a database that I've sunk too much time into lol)

The sorting section is actually automatically filled out based on the Creator information, I explained my tbr sorting is based on favorite, prolific, or new to the fandom authors so it's easiest to trust pull that information from the Creator record in a roll-up property because then I can move everything in a group if I miss something at the end of the week when I'm adding things.

Story info is pretty self-explanatory in my opinion, I pulled all of it from ao3 though I will fudge the information if I read a fic on Tumblr that isn't cross-posted. The pages it's not really useful per se. Just something that I think is interesting. It's also based on the PDF versions that you can download on ao3 and even then not really because I just averaged out the pages on one fic and have been dividing page numbers by that number for ages lol. Timeline I mentioned in my previous post. It's all based on 911 because I am currently hyperfixated on it to a degree that is genuinely… not great.

Authorized Tags�� I'm still working on this. This is the time consuming project. I decided to make the multi-select property Tags– which has an insane amount of tags in it, which are all kind of jumbled because I was using different language for all of them like for instance “Evan Buckley is a Teacher” and “Bartender Buck” are both tags in that property but also it's just in that section so I can't even see everything that's in there and at this point there's over like 200+ tags that I can't really search very well and I can't really browse fics in the tags easily so it limits use in that way. Also, there's no real organization so everything that could be tagged wasn't there- also creators all use tags in very different ways so a lot of that was me tagging fic as I read them because this is a personal database, it's just what I want to do. But basically Authorized Tags is *loosely* based off of Authorized Heading from my cataloging course lol. Basically I've cleaned up the language and created more of a type and tier organization (“Evan Buckley is a Teacher” and “Bartender Buck” are now “Teacher! Buck” and “Bartender! Buck” respectfully and are specific character tags under the broad character tag of “Not a Firefighter! Evan Buckley”) so I'll be able to find things easier… when I finished retagging the like 3000 records that I've been tagging multi select up until now 😭. This is also giving me the chance to pull my OOC/Bashing tag into a little alien 👽 check box- like I said the tags are mine some creators tag way more extensively than me, others imo under tag– bashing isn't a DNF for me and I just ignore it when fix are tagged “Specific Character! Bashing” because sometimes people will tag that when it's just canon accurate behavior in my opinion? And again actual bashing doesn't bother me *most of the time* but it is one of the things that I want to know about effect on first glance if I'm going to reread.

Series was a single select property up until my last post actually… it was much easier to convert because unlike tags not every fic is in a series lol. But also I am going to go back and see if there were any fics that aren't in what I would consider a series but are how some creators use series like a place where they collect their one shots or a bunch of fic that they wrote with a single trope or even personal entries to fandom challenges, I also decided to use this database to track works that were inspired by other works if it's a very direct correlation– like if there's a sequel or one shot in the same world written by another Creator. The previous/next relations direct to other related works within the database, if Fic 1 is previous to Fic 2, Fic 2 is next to Fic 1. You'll be surprised how long it took me to add these fields or you'll think it's overkill– it's both. Part of the reason that I really needed these is because both the tags and the series properties were select properties. I could tag a fic as a sequel fic but that didn't directly connect me to its predecessor, I can see that'll work as part of a series but I would still have to leave the record to then go and look to see what else is in that series. It's kind of a non-issue. Obviously all of this is non-issues. This is way too in-depth for what it is. But it's going to be even more of a non-issue now that Series is a separate database but I'll probably still keep it for conveniences sake because if nothing else it is convenient.

Housekeeping– when did I start and when did I finish the fic? Was it a favorite? Was there a quote that I took note of while reading it?

Meta-Metadata (I had that labeled as just metadata for an embarrassingly long time considering literally the entire record is metadata…) I used to have a record created property but it broke somehow. I don't know I want it back. I'm going to try at some point. I just haven't gotten around to it. It's not like a useful thing. It's just interesting to see how long after a record is created I back get around to reading it you know? But the two check boxes there are formulas attached to the read status. The first one includes up-to-date works as read And the second one only includes read read works as read– I like keeping up to date with a few authors so if they have work in progress work that I am keeping up to date with, I want it included in their tally on their record. So I have two separate roll-ups for read lol.

You'll see on the completed record that the only thing that I have written in the bottom part is reread dates. I don't know, I've never felt the need to take notes outside of the records? Or if I do, it's very rarely. I haven't really figured out a way to record reread dates in a way that doesn't seem clunky to me so I just put it there.

But yeah as you can see way too extensive lol a lot of these properties won't apply to every fic and are therefore hidden when empty (a few are always hidden in the collapsed view (Next/Previous notably) because if I'm looking for that information I'll look for it, you know?)

So here is a completed record of one of my favorite fics!

As you can see, a few things have been collapsed the labeling is always hidden because I don't really need it it's just so it's not a wall of properties on the back end, but you can also easily find the information that's important in my opinion?

Anyway I'm tagging @percyjackson-winchester because they asked me too if you have questions or want me to make a follow up post about the Series of Creator Databases (of the Tags Database when I finish it lol) let me know 😅

[hpowellsmith]

Hi! I have played and enjoyed all of your games, and even though I am a big fan of CoG, I have struggled to find any other companies who make similar games.

I’ve seen you post on a few  occasions about similar games and was wondering if you had any recommendations, CoG or otherwise. Thank you!

There isn't really a company that does exactly what CoG is doing, but there are lots of places to find IF or IF-adjacent games to play!

There are a lot of companies making and/or allowing users to make narrative mobile games which are often free to play with a model where paying opens up "premium" choices or cosmetics. Lots have sprung up over the years and sadly a lot of them have shuttered (Storyscape, Lovestruck, and others). Some friends have written for the Storyloom and Whispers apps. For a couple of years I worked on Love Island the Game but haven't been keeping up with it after I stopped working on it (which was during late Season 4/Bombshell). Then there's things like Dorian, Romance Club, and the older Chapters, Choices, Episodes, etc, some of which are created on commission and some of which are user-created games... It's worth having a look and seeing if any catch your eye.

I'd always recommend the work of Failbetter Games and inkle. (Mask of the Rose, Failbetter's first visual novel, is out now!) Both have branched out beyond being purely text-based but they have strong foundations in IF. Similarly Over the Alps, which was made by my former colleagues at Tributary Games, and King of the Castle (a narrative multiplayer game that I finished working on last year) are a great time. Games from Hanako Games are great, and if you liked Crème de la Crème I'd point you to Black Closet for dark academia school scheming. Christine Love and Autumn Chen are incredible creators too. I haven't played them fully yet, but Pentiment and Roadwarden promise fantastic narrative experiences with great storytelling.

I recommend having a look through the AdventureX lists of past exhibitors which include lots of really exciting narrative games. Narrascope also has plenty of speakers who have made or are discussing interesting games.

Also take a look at the IF Comp and Spring Thing archives for a huge collection of free IF with loads of different genres, tones, and sizes.

sub-q magazine isn't publishing new material anymore and you'll need to click past the expired security certificate but it published a wide range of short IF, some with more branching and some with less, but always interesting. (my first game writing sales were to them!)

On here, @/interact-if often posts themed recommendations. There are a lot of authors posting ongoing progress and devlogs of IF projects, sometimes on the CoG forum and dashingdon, sometimes on itch.io, and @/interact-if can be helpful for filtering though or finding ones that match what you're looking for. @/manonamora-if-reviews has started doing in depth IF reviews too. And on the subject of itch.io, there are many interactive fiction games on there both complete and in-progress.

Finally, if you're interested! Some of my all-time favourite ChoiceScript games include:

A Study in Steampunk

Asteroid Run

Choice of the Deathless

Heart of Battle

Heart of the House

Professor of Magical Studies

Tally Ho

(You can play Choice of the Deathless and Heart of Battle for free with ads.)

Thank you for the ask!

[finnlongman]

tasty data, get your tasty data here

All right, I finished putting TBC2-LL into my Unhinged Spreadsheet, so here are some observations about this text. Long post incoming.

Caveat that this spreadsheet is a work in progress and all the data collection is being done manually, aka trawling the text with my own eyeballs and looking for words. It's entirely possible I've missed some.

A Mo Phopa

There are 47 instances of the word "popa" in this text that I've found.

I had to zoom out to fit them all in. This is so many.

What's really interesting, though, is how terms are paired. If I were to put the spreadsheet back in its original order, showing them in the order they occur in the text, we would see that the use of a phopa for Fergus is almost always accompanied by daltán or a variant ("fosterling, pupil, fosterson"): either Fergus addressing Cú Chulainn as a daltán, or Cú Chulainn identifying himself as such. That means the term in those contexts is firmly established as a fosterage term used with a generational difference.

On the other hand, when a phopa is used by Cú Chulainn to address Láeg, it's very often paired with Láeg addressing Cú Chulainn with an affectionate diminutive like a Chúcúc. The only other person to use a diminutive like this is Lug (or, well, Cú Chulainn's "friend from the Otherworld", who isn't named in this recension), and he only does so once. Láeg does so repeatedly:

By pairing this with a phopa, we're establishing an age difference, but the absence of obvious fosterage terminology and the subversion of expected hierarchies makes this seem more like a "big bro, little bro" relationship, as far as terminology is concerned. A Chúcúc is typically translated by O'Rahilly as "little Cú"; you could also go as far as "little Hound". It's very much both affectionate and emphasising Cú Chulainn's youth.

(In TBC1, by contrast, Láeg only uses a diminutive like this once.)

Putting the rest below a cut to save your dash, because it got long.

Gilla

The term "gilla" is a flexible one: it basically just means lad, boy, servant. It's often used in the narration for charioteers, but I noticed something interesting about its usage in dialogue as a term of address.

Notably, that in TBC1, Cú Chulainn never uses this term to address Láeg, but in TBC2-LL, he does (usually while giving orders, though the spreadsheet doesn't offer that level of detail) (yet). It's used in narration to describe Láeg, I think, but never as a term of address.

Is this a matter of date, and the shifting use of the term chronologically? TBC1 and TBC2-LL are close enough in date that I would be surprised if the term "gilla" had a significantly different meaning at the time of writing.

It does show up quite a bit in late texts, though, so there might be something in that. Need to look into that more.

Comalta, comaltus, daltae

TBC2-LL typically shows a lot more instances of fosterage terminology: comalta, comaltus, and daltae all show up more times. This might just be that TBC2 is wordier than TBC1 and likes to repeat itself more, but the mess of orange on my spreadsheet suggests it also has a greater preoccupation with the web of family, fosterage, and provincial connections between characters.

[ETA: it's just an error that lists one of the comaltas as pupil, fosterling; I think Excel got too enthusiastic with the autofill. The same error occurs below. It's not significant.]

Cú Chulainn once uses the term daltán to address Láeg in TBC1, which doesn't show up in TBC2. I did a post about that a while back; it comes in a line where Cú Chulainn is explaining something to Láeg, so might have a pedagogical usage, although also seems like it might be a little bit sarcastic. Need to explore that one further.

(Note that when Cú Chulainn appears in both the "used by" and "used for" columns, it's because he's describing himself, e.g. Fergus says, "Who's there?" and he says, "It's me, your fosterson and the fosterson of the Ulaid." The relationship given in the column after that is therefore the one being identified in those moments.)

Cara, cairdes, caratraid

TBC2-LL also has more uses of the word cara, friend, for a much wider range of relationships and hypothetical relationships. ("Be it friend or foe" kind of thing.) Cara is used for allies, fosterbrothers, family connections, and some relationships that look like "straightforward" friendship, i.e. there isn't any other clearer connection between the characters mentioned in the text.

The term caratraid for friendship shows up five times in TBC2, and never in TBC1. Three of these instances are to describe Cú Chulainn's relationship with Fer Baeth, one of his foster brothers; one is to describe his relationship with Fer Diad, another foster brother; and one is to describe his relationship with Lugaid mac Nóis, his ally in the Connacht camp (who is also, I think, a foster brother?).

Cairdes shows up three times in TBC2 - twice about Fer Baeth and once about Fer Diad - versus only once in TBC1, where it refers to Fer Baeth (and is in narration rather than dialogue). TBC2 also introduces "cardes sliasta", intimate friendship, with which Medb bribes men.

Fer Diad

Here are all the terms used for Cú Chulainn & Fer Diad's relationship across TBC1 and TBC2-LL:

Let's filter that to get a sense of TBC1 vs TBC2, bearing in mind that Comrac Fir Diad is way longer in TBC2 and therefore likely to have far more terms in it.

TBC1:

TBC2-LL:

So we've got a lot more repetition in TBC2, but we've also got some differences. TBC2 loses some of the endearments, like "a lóeg" and "a airer na súl", which are more typically found in romantic contexts. But it gains two instances of "inmain", beloved (a semantically wider term: we often get a mic inmain between family members, for example). Both use the term "dil" for "beloved", though, inserting it into Fer Diad's name: Fer dil Diad.

Both use the term "cocle", possibly "coicéile": comrade, friend, companion, vassal. TBC2 uses it a lot more, though. It also adds "cara", friend, and the related terms "cairdes" and "caratraid" to describe friendship.

Both use "acme" and "fine", in the same context/sentence: "you are/were my kith and kin". TBC also gives us "fir chomdéirgide", men who shared a bed. There is another reference to bed-sharing in TBC2, but it uses a different term, so this one is distinct. The term "dérgud" seems to refer to the making of a bed, so the vibe seems to be more "men who made a bed together": travelled together, made decisions together, shared intimacy, etc.

The term Cúa is etymologised as an insult in TBC1, but treated as a straightforward diminutive in TBC2. Meanwhile, TBC2 introduces the concept of Cú Chulainn as Fer Diad's "forbfer", or serving man/attendant, introducing hierarchies into their relationship. I was surprised this wasn't in both, but I guess the whole thing is just so much less developed in TBC1, and most of the backstory there comes from Fer Diad's conversations with his charioteer rather than his dialogue with TBC2. I do want to go back and double check it, though, in case there's another related term that slipped my notice.

Conclusions

What is the second recension of the Táin about? Well, statistically, it's about relationships between people.

TBC2 cares a lot about fosterage and the friendships that go with it.

A phopa is the most common term of endearment in this recension.

Combinations of terms tell us more than just looking at terms in isolation.

Spreadsheets can be fun, I guess.

Beyond that, I don't know. I need to add more texts before I can draw more meaningful conclusions about changes over time. But I thought you might like to see where we're at, anyway.

Next up is probably Cath Ruis na Ríg, for vibes, although I also need to add Stowe to this spreadsheet in case it changes anything about TBC2 compared to LL.

[ladyantiheroine]

Speech Impediments

Summary: Julie teaches R how to speak again after he's cured. Read on AO3.

Pairing: R x Julie Grigio

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2,064 words

Tags: speech and language therapy, shakespeare quotations, cute, fluff, short & sweet.

Author's Note: Set after the movie. R is human.

“Two…households,” R’s eyes narrowed at the page. “Both alike...in di-dig-ni-ty.”

"Come on, you can do it," Julie said.

Two hours had passed, and R was still staring at the same page. Despite all his efforts, he could barely get through the prologue without his voice sliding back into that undead stutter. He cleared his throat and started again from the top of the block of text.

"Two...households," he said. "Both alike in digni..dignit..."

R released a long, beleaguered groan. His eyes drifted from the page and around the room.

The compound's library was a small backroom in the back of the Grigio house. The place contained some of the last books that were scavenged from what remained of the city. It was a strange, eclectic mix of novels, ranging from classics to dime-store paperbacks, cookbooks, comic books, half-finished coloring books, and whatever else scavengers could find in the wreckage of old homes, libraries, and bookstores.

Julie had been bringing R to the library ever since the walls fell, ever since the Living and the Dead had been peacefully cohabitating together. And amongst the dusty collection of well-worn books, Julie had stumbled across an old battered copy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

"Look at this thing," Julie said, flipping through the pages. "I haven't read this play since high school. Before...you know, everything."

With more of the Dead receiving the cure, many newly-living people had begun adjusting to their new post-resurrection bodies. To walk around in a decaying, moldy shell, only to suddenly have rushing blood and heartbeat was not something one could walk off. Those who had been living in the compound had been assisting the newly Alive with their new bodies. Teaching them how to walk properly again, how to eat again, how to bathe again.

For R, his biggest hurdle was speech. He was still used to speaking slow, monosyllabic sentences after having spent quite some time with decaying vocal cords. But now he was Living again and he needed to adjust to his newly rejuvenated speaking voice. That's where Julie came in with her old books.

R dropped his copy on his lap. He was seated on an old chair in the library, one sprouting yellow stuffing and scratched along the woods. Julie was seated on a floor by one of the shelves, organizing a stack next to her.

"Can't...do this..." R said.

Julie gave him a look.

"Of course, you can," she said. "If you can read Shakespeare, you can read anything.”

She set the book she was holding down on the pile, stood up, then wandered over to R. She gave him a small smile and poked his knee.

"Mind if I...?" she said.

R smiled and let Julie crawl into his lap. She settled on top of his legs and hooked an arm around his neck. R curled his arms around her and held the book open in front of them both. Julie pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"What's stumping you?" she asked. "Is it the old-timey language?"

R shook his head.

"No," he said. "Not the words...the saying them..."

It didn't matter what he was reading or saying. When it felt like your voice and habits hadn't caught up with your body, and were much slower than your mind, it was hard to sound very articulate.

Julie gave his shirt a gentle tug.

"You've been making progress," she assured. "You just need to try something new. There was a glimmer in her eye. "Maybe you just need someone to read with you."

Julie disentangled herself from R and crossed the room. She grabbed a chair from the corner, dragged it over, and turned the seat to face R. She pressed one foot on top of the seat and lifted herself to stand.

"Julie..." R said.

"Skip the prologue," Julie said. "Let's do the balcony scene.

R stiffened in his chair.

"I'm...not...an actor," he said.

Julie gave him a tight-lipped smile.

"And I'm not an actress," she said. "Don't worry about acting or delivery. Just read the scene. If you can get through this scene without stumbling, I'll leave you alone."

R looked between his copy of the book and Julie. He wanted this to work. He's forgotten what his speaking voice sounded like before he died. He wanted to find it again.

"Do..." R said. He lifted the book. "Need...the script...?"

Julie shook her head.

"I've had the balcony scene memorized for years," she said. Her voice softened. "Perry and I performed it for an extra credit assignment in English class. A long time ago. But I still remember my lines."

Julie stepped back on the chair so she was further from the edge. R flipped to act two, scene two, and then lifted himself from his chair.

"Ready?" Julie asked.

R nodded.

"And..." Julie chopped her arm down like a director's slate board. "Action!"

R paused for a second. He looked at the book in his hand.

"But...soft," he said. "What light through...yonder window breaks?"

He lifted his eyes to Julie. She gave him an encouraging smile. He continued.

"It is...the east...and Juliet is the sun."

R's eyes flickered between his script and Julie. Despite his difficulty reading the words on the page, he found his eyes lingering on her more than the book. She watched him and listened to him, round blue eyes framed by golden hair. Even the buzzy artificial light on the ceiling framed her like a halo. All of a sudden the words on the page became a lot easier, a lot simpler.

"Two of the fairest...stars in all the heaven," he mumbled. "Having some business...do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their...spheres till they return."

At the end of Romeo's monologue was Juliet's first line. Julie pressed a dramatic hand to her forehead.

"Ay me," she said.

R was quiet for a moment. His eyes fixed on her.

Julie cocked her head to the book in his hand.

"R," she whispered. "It's your line."

R snapped from his thoughts and looked at his book.

"She speaks," he said. "Oh...speak again...bright angel,"

R spoke his words carefully. So far, he managed to avoid any stuttering, but he could only speak so quickly, having to pause every other word to reconfigure his mouth and tongue. He reached the end of his line and looked at Julie.

Her eyes met his.

"Oh, Romeo," she said. Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

R paused to listen to Julie's voice. He could have listened to her for hours.

The two of them continued the scene. Romeo and Juliet exchanged quips with a balcony between them. Or for R and Julie, the distance between them and the height provided by the chair. R found the language was easier once the scene went on. Talking was a lot like walking. Once you knew how to do it, it became as natural as breathing air, not much thought necessary. 

"O...wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" R said.

Julie giggled.

"What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?" she asked.

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine."

"I gave thee mine before thou didst request it. And yet I would it were to give again."

"Wouldst thou withdraw it? for what purpose, love?"

"But to be frank, and give it thee again." Julie's gaze softened. "And yet I wish but for the thing I have: My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."

There was a small pause between their lines. R felt a sensation in his chest that, after a moment, he recognized as his heart skipped a beat. Even months after the cure, he was still getting used to having a rhythm in his chest. And with Julie, he felt the sensation hit him suddenly quite often.

At the end of the scene, Romeo had one line left. Julie paused the scene.

"Read it with no pauses or hesitations," she whispered. "And then I'll leave you alone."

R looked at her for a long moment. Words that were not on the page were hovering at his lips:  Never leave me alone. 

Julie moved to the edge of the seat and for a moment R worried she would tip over and fall. She leaned forward and ran a gentle thumb along his cheek.

"Say it to me," she said softly.

R gave a small nod. He glanced down at his book one last time.

"Sleep dwell upon thine eyes," he said. "Peace in thy breast."

He lifted his eyes back up to hers. He felt a creeping inability to speak inside him, but he had nothing to do with his speech impediments. It was because the girl who owned his newly-beating heart, the girl who made him Living again, had left him speechless.

He wasn't sure what words could best describe it. So he let Shakespeare do it for him.

"Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest," he said. "Hence will I to my ghostly father's cell. His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell."

The room was quiet. R felt a strange feeling on his lips, the buzz of uninterrupted words leaving his mouth. Julie smiled.

"R," she said. "That was perfect."

R's face broke into a smile. It was the most he'd read out loud with few pauses or stutters. For a moment, he heard what his voice used to sound like. Before he died, before decay gripped him. After weeks of practice, he caught an ear of his old speech. His old self.

And Julie helped bring it back.

R stepped up to the chair he was right in front of her. He encircled his arms around Julie's waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. R carefully lifted her off the chair. He tried to hold her up for a second, but his physical strength was still returning to him, so he settled for gently placing her down on the floor. But Julie gripped closer to him and pressed her lips to his.

When their lips came apart, Julie pressed her forehead to his.

"That's the best I've heard from you," she said.

"It's...not much."

"It's perfect for now."

Just before Julie could kiss R again, there was a knock on the library door. Both of them froze.

"Julie?" Colonel Grigio called from the other side. "Honey, are you in there?"

Julie and R looked at each other. Despite the colonel loosening his control on his daughter, he still expected her to be in bed by a curfew, and they were both in the library late at night. If he knew she was sneaking out of the house this late, especially to fool around with her new boyfriend, he'd be very cranky.

R turned his face towards the door.

"It's just me in here, Mr. Grigio," he called.

R's voice rang out clear as a bell. Julie's eyes widened and she pressed a hand to the smile breaking on her face.

"R?" the colonel called. "That you?"

"Yes, sir," R called. "I'm alone in here."

"What are you doing up, kid?"

"Couldn't sleep. Looking for some reading."

"Have you seen Julie?"

"No, sir. Didn't she go to bed?"

"Supposedly." There was shuffling on the other side of the door. "Get back to bed soon. If you see Julie on the way back, let me know."

"Yes sir, I will."

R and Julie stood still and silent until the sound of Colonel Grigio's footsteps disappeared.

"R," Julie said. "You just spoke perfectly."

R grinned and pulled Julie closer by her hips.

"It's you," he told her. "Just like before. You cure everything."

Julie's eyes glimmered and once again R felt the tug of a quickened heartbeat in his chest. He didn't want to leave the library. He wanted to stay in this dusty old room all night, exchanging centuries-old poetry back and forth with the girl who left him speechless as much as she made him speak.

R sighed and let Julie press her lips to his.

[little-cat-press]

Hello, you have found my bookbinding blog!

and you may be wondering, what is this? So I have prepared a list of questions and answers that I think people may be wondering

Q: what's bookbinding?

A: bookbinding is the process of making a book! Starting with a piece of text, typesetting it, printing, folding the signatures, sewing them, gluing, trimming, and casing it in.

Q: do you sell your books?

A: Nope! Most of what I bind is fanfiction, and it would be ethically and legally complicated to find a way that it was OK to sell a fanfic binding, so I'm not gonna bother touching that. These books are either for me, or gifts. I strongly believe in the gift economy of fandom.

(the morals and legals around selling blank journals or public domain stuff is much simpler, but I'm not very interested in doing that either. Maybe if it was a cool and fun project)

Q: Who do you gift books to?

A: Close friends and family, primarily. I also often like to offer a book to the author, though whether or not they accept has been a tossup.

I also have participated in a few gift exchanges in the Renegade Bindery group.

Q: I'm an author you've approached. What would this offer entail?

A: Hi! I love your writing! I will need an adress to send the finished book to, and then I will mail it, and then you will have a book!

Q: how long do you take to send author copies?

A: It varies greatly. I've been trying something new lately called "asking the author if they want one AFTER I've finished the typeset, instead of when I put the book on the to-bind sometime eventually list", because then all that's left is to print and physically assemble the book, and thus the author is not additionally waiting the time until I start on that particular project.

But also I make books slowly, frequently with long pauses between the various stages, so again, it varies.

Q: why do you bookbind?

A: Several reasons. It started with the desire to have the Trust series (@alittleblogoftrust) on my bookshelf. (and thus starting the longest author's wait so far, as it was the first offer made and not yet fulfilled... Those books are going to be thick, and somehow that means they are an intimidating project and I have not made much progress on them) And then I discovered that the process of bookbinding is simply very fun! I like making books!

And there are so so many excellent stories that I can put on my bookshelf and read in book form.

Q: I'm interested in bookbinding. Where can I start? You mentioned a renegade group?

A: Renegade (@renegadeguild) is an excellent bookbinding collective. We have a big discord group full of folks interested in the art of bookbinding, and if you have any questions, someone there almost certainly has an answer.

For other resources, I really like DAS Bookbinding on youtube. He explains things in a calm, soothing manner, while demonstrating. He doesn't get into typesetting much, mostly focusing on physical construction.

He has a Getting Started playlist, though I think I actually started with his Case Bound Book playlist.

Q: You tag thoroughly and systematically. What's the system?

A: it's all listed out on this post

Q: I have more questions

A: Okay! You can put them in my askbox if you like

[dominapirevita]

My 2024 fig tree

Happy new year! I wish everyone the best of luck in completing their goals.

I drew a moodboard in the form of a fig tree, based on Plath's fig tree analogy. The idea is that I pick as many figs as I can in 2024. Some of my goals aren't meant as careers and are just basic things to improve my health or well-being.

My figs are:

Continue using Habitica to track my progress and get inspiration for new challenges

Read 24 books (around 7 books for school, 2 books about science, 3 French books that are not for school, 1 audiobook, 2 poetry collections and 9 other books of choice)

Get better sleep by going earlier to bed, waking up earlier, avoiding my phone in the early morning and late evening, having a morning and night routine and by logging how much I slept, used my phone and how much I read.

Clean my room daily

Use sundays to prepare for the week (outfits + weekly reflection)

Practise the piano daily, experiment with making my own music and discover new music

Watch at least one film each month, reflect on it and experiment with writing my own script

Read at least 2 books about science

Learn every week a new bit of ancient Greek (grammer or a new text) and review daily

Write an outline for a novel and write 6 poems.

Post more on this blog (I am thinking about using it as a girlblog and posting every two weeks)

Make nice memories with new people and record it in a diary

Finish my homework a few days before the deadline and review new material beforehand.

Exercise a little bit every morning and begin learning ballet online

Image from the film 'Black Swan' (found on Pinterest)

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig-tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and off-beat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig-tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

[mthollowell-writes]

Author Ask Tag Game!

Thank you so much to @axl-ul for the tag! You can find their original post here!

Even though it was my @missaddledmiss blog that was tagged, I'll be using my writing blog to tackle this one.

You've given me the prompting I needed to finally talk about the beast of a WIP I've only been hinting at thus far. I'm choosing the Festival of Shadows (tentative title) for this tag game.

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it? I'm not sure there's a lesson per se. The story is a murder mystery that becomes a monster hunt, though the monster becomes harder to identify as more dark truths and conflicts of interest are uncovered. The story at its heart is a quest for truth which often requires a deeper examination of the darkness within each of the characters and the darkness they choose to tolerate. The story is about how ultimately, to get through a problem, you have to let other people help you. You don't have to do it alone. (Collective action for the win!) So I guess, that is a lesson though one that requires a lot of sacrifice and vulnerability for everyone involved.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)? The story takes place in the fictional American town of Hollow Grove. It's where strange things happen: where vampires, werewolves, zombies, and other mythical beings are tolerated, where the macabre is rather commonplace. For the longest time, I struggled to characterize the town beyond its eccentricities because I couldn't decide where it was. When I settled on the Midwest, a lot of things clicked into place. I drew a lot from that culture, horror media, and true crime. I also draw a lot upon history to inform the text, especially 19th-century trends like Manifest Destiny/ settler culture and progressive movements of the 1970s and how all that informs the present (circa 2017).

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? Mariela is trying to piece together how a dark magic ritual leads to the deaths of several members of a fringe cult within Hollow Grove and how that may tie back the Edelhaus Coalition (the main political and religious power brokers in Hollow Grove) and her own troubled family history. I simply want to tell her story, along with the stories of the rest of the cast. And I guess, how the past still influences the present, no matter how long ago it may seem. Certain things stick with you. Certain things shouldn't be brushed off because "it happened so long ago."

How many chapters is your story going to have? This monster is projected to be 65 chapters give or take a few. We'll see what survives the editing process.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? This is an original work. As for posting, I haven't made my mind up about that yet. I'll cross that bridge when I finish it.

When and why did you start writing? I started the Festival of Shadows story back in 2017 as a fun weekly challenge to myself for the new year to flesh out all these new characters I created for Hollow Grove and to flesh out the world itself. The earliest draft ended up taking a whole ten months to complete. I then put the story on the shelf until about last year when I completely revised it from the ground up. I started a second (first) draft but was forced to put the story on pause again to flesh out certain plot threads neglected in that one. This has truly been a long labor of love.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow? I'm going to interpret engagement as encouragement so by that logic my advice would be to have fun with it and write the stories you want to read. As long as you start there, you'll go far. I know of a lot of lovely people in this space and can't wait to see what you all do and how we can help each other reach our goals.

Sorry if this was all written out a bit clunkily. This is my first time talking about all this publically but I enjoyed the practice and hope to improve.

Now for tagging!

Very low-pressure tagging @acertainmoshke, @ryns-ramblings, @nonsenseramble, @palebdot, @friendlyshaped, @rmgrey-author and anyone else who would like to participate!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some recent pressed leaves and stuff to add to the collection :0

[haven-in-writing]

To be the knife against his throat

TW- There is a bit of violence throughout each chapter so if that makes you uncomfortable please don't read ahead. I try to put the proper warnings when possible but unfortunately I do tend to forget. As this story progresses I will try to be more aware of this. Thank you beautiful people so much for reading!

Catch up with the first and second chapter if you haven't already!

Tag list as of 9/27/21 @avengerstanforlife, @dark-night-sky-99, @emergenciesstory , @bookscoffeeandracoons, @krystallynx

The following morning everyone in the compound was woken up to loud screams. Well, one loud scream coming from a certain trickster god. The team ran into the kitchen area to see you on top of Loki with a knife hitting his metal cuff attached to his armor. Growling in frustration, you punch his side, as he weakens his grip on your hand that holds the knife, you push further and the tip of said knife touches the base of his neck.

“Y/N NO!” The group collectively shouts as you draw a small amount of blood from the pressure you put on the knife. You lean down next to his face, whispering something that not even Friday could pick up on. His Adam's apple dips as he gulp’s from the assumed threat that was whispered. No one tries to approach you in case you decide to plunge the knife into his throat, but without any warning Loki smirks as a flash of green magic pushes you into a portal and leaves you falling in your ass a good distance from the god.

The inhumane growl that leaves your throat stops everyone in their tracks. Staring him down, Loki puts both hands up as a sign of peace.

“I mean no disrespect lady, I simply wished to not be in such a compromising position,” he explains quickly before your knife could find a home in his body.

“Just stay the hell away from me Loki,” you all but hiss at him before stalking out of the room ignoring the team's questions.

The group surrounding them doesn’t make a move, watching Loki for any signs that he will retaliate as Thor walks as quietly as he can slightly behind you. The two of you walk in silence to your private workshop. No one tried to stop and talk to you, practically feeling the tense energy you were exuding. As you entered the shop, Thor gently closed the door and cleared his throat.

“I know my brother can be infuriatingly frustrating to deal with, I do hope that this flaw of his doesn’t make it unbearable to be around either of us,” Thor finishes his sentiment quickly before you have a chance to speak.

“Thor, I promise I won’t actually kill your brother, I’m sorry you have to deal with this at all. Just- just keep him away from me. Okay?” you quickly continue, “He left me to die once, which only taught me that I can rely on no one. I don’t trust this team, I don’t trust normal people, and I especially don’t trust Loki. So back off.”

You leave Thor standing in the workshop baffled by the raw emotions you had shown in your brief tangent. As quick as you left, Loki entered the shop moments later, a flash of green being the only warning Thor had before he was staring at his brother.

“Lady y/n just left so it would be wise to make your leave quickly as I am unsure of whether she will return here or not,’’ Thor warns quickly and quietly.

“I did not realize she was still alive, I didn’t even bother to give her a proper burial,” Loki says, lowering his head with shame. “It was the least I could have done.”

Without another word, Loki disappears with a flash of green light. Thor breathes out gently and turns to leave the workshop. As he is about to switch off the light, a map on the wall catches his attention. A map he hadn’t seen in over a century, when the nations of Midgard were being claimed and fought over. Any doubts in his brother's memory were long gone with this artifact on the wall encased in glass. It was too frayed and battered to be a replica. With more questions brewing in his mind than ever, Thor shuts the workshop door and with a shake of his head, makes his way to his chambers.

He is so engrossed with his own thoughts, he doesn’t manage to catch the red headed spy lurking in the shadows, having heard every bit of conversation from her post.

Until now things had sailed pretty smoothly with the Avengers. Until now your identity has been easily covered up by half truths and diversions. That was until Loki had to come along and cause chaos as always. At least the lore surrounding him was consistent.

Taking a moment to pause and collect your thoughts, you find a way to minimize the fallout heading your way. The team was gonna find out eventually so why not get ahead of that curve. The only way to do that would be going against your better judgement. The only person that could persuade the Avengers to not completely turn you out. Maybe two people? Why would they not completely dismiss you, after all they were just a rag tag group of superpowered freaks. The amount of times you had saved their butts didn't matter, at the end of the day, you lied to people that trusted you. They would never trust you again.

So who was the better option?

Tony treated you like a daughter, always trying to cheer you up when you were down. Y'all even had a secret handshake. He would be beyond insulted that you didn't share this overwhelmingly important detail of your existence with him. Now on the other hand, Director Fury. Would he even care? As long as you were on the good guys team aka his team, he wouldn't let you be taken away. Right? Or maybe he would want to dissect you like the Hydra vermin had tried oh so many years ago.

Fury, like the team, would have no reason to believe or trust that your intentions were as true as you had once said. An impossible situation for the impossible creature you were. What a dilemma.

Shaking off the thoughts crossing your mind, you text one Tony Stank, the only contact you had listed in your phone besides- well, nevermind it’s not important. What is important is the text you’re about to send. If it’s not worded correctly, Tony would assume the worst and immediately try and track you down.

“Hey Stank-face,” you punch into the old flip phone.

“Why did I even tell you that story,” He texted back quickly.

“Because you were drunk and have no filter, duh,” you smile for a moment but quickly mask your face and continue texting Tony, “I have a favor to ask.”

There’s a brief pause before he replies.

“What’s up?” There’s no hiding your smile now, you can always rely on Tony to pull through.

“Meet me by the burger stand, next to the old warehouse at 5pm?” Nervously picking at your nails while waiting on his response, you notice a black bike peeking around the corner of the alleyway you were across from. Shit.

“Sure thing Jelly-bean, everything OK?” No, not ok but it would be. Just have to get ahead of the fallout.

“Yeah Tones, all good, just got something to talk to you about. I would like for this to stay between us for now if you don’t mind. Gotta go, I’ll see you at 5.” Taking the sim card out of the phone you toss it in the trash bin and start walking, keeping an eye on the little stalker you've managed to catch.

[duskamethyst]

covet.

a/n: a remake so some might have read this but i switched up a bit because i wasn't particularly happy with it.

word count: 2.2k

genre: mature, nsfw

warning tags: implied noncon at the end, stalking, yandere behavior

pairing: yan!iwaizumi x f!reader

summary: you find out that you are your best friend's obsession.

iwaizumi has always been a good friend to you; more like a doting brother that’s always looking out for you, cheering you up as he listens to you cry over the phone over a bad and sudden break up or helps you when you need a hand– whether it’s from studying or changing the light bulb and he never expects anything in return. he’s amazing and it’s rather strange that he never had someone special as long as you’ve known him.

you’ve asked him about his love life plenty of times before but he often finds a way to avoid the topic. though it’s unusual, you only think that he probably has a shy side to him despite how tense he usually looks. you couldn’t find anything wrong with him that could drive others away– from his looks to how he treats people around him. and honestly? he is too good to be true.

but when something seems too good to be true, chances are, it really is.

you know iwaizumi more than anyone else– with oikawa as an exception. you cling onto each other almost every day and you often go out together to finish up an assignment. your friends are always poking fun at you about liking iwaizumi whenever you’re with him but you’re always quick to get defensive, afraid of making him feel awkward and also because it isn’t true– you don’t really feel that way about him.

he’s aware that they’re just teasing but he couldn’t help the blush creeping up on his cheeks each time he hears the untasteful joke and his heart breaks over how you get quite uptight about it because boy, he actually feels happy at the thought of you having feelings for him.

as much as you think you know the guy, to iwaizumi, you don’t actually know him.

you don’t know how he feels about you, but he understands that. it’s his fault for not confessing to you directly but he also wants to protect the relationship you both currently have. iwaizumi doesn’t want to ruin it. he doesn’t want the probability of losing you when he knows he’s nothing more to you than just a friend. you don’t know that you’re the only person that fills his mind day and night, jerking off to the image of you before going to sleep. and you don’t know how he spends so many hours at the gym, letting out his anger and frustration to the punching bag when you tell him that you’re seeing someone.

iwaizumi is mindful of the fact that he won’t ever get to be your boyfriend; let alone the one to spend the rest of your lives together and it pains him for having someone so close but couldn’t quite reach for.

little that he realizes, he begins to have an unhealthy obsession over you.

he usually pretends to find interest in your relationships and hookups just so he can use it to his advantage just so that in a couple of months, you will run back into his arms and talk about how sad you are over it and blame yourself about how you aren’t good enough to anyone.

he feels bad when he sees your sorry state. it hurts him more than it hurts you but he keeps reminding himself that even though he is the cause of your breakup, it’s for your own good. of course he can’t say that out loud, he’ll just coax you with sweet words, things you want to hear like how you deserve someone so much better. he will tell you that you should look closer, find that person who has went through thick and thin with you but god– it’s a shame that you’re just so blind.

iwaizumi begins to stalk you at night. using an excuse to ‘watch over you’ when he only wants to see you at your most vulnerable state which he believes to be the ‘real’ you, unraveled. he wants to see how you are when you’re alone and unmindful of the presence of others, including him.

your schedule for your night activities differs each night so he finds himself lucky when he’s just in time to see you strip off your clothes piece by piece until you have nothing on before hopping into the shower. a loud gulp downs his throat when he watches you turn to the full length mirror, bare and perfect ass conveniently facing the window when you observe your figure from the side– probably to see the progress from that work out he has been telling you about.

his jaw clenches at how careless and oblivious you are of your surroundings (but can he really blame you, though?) but it gives him all the more reason to stick close to you so he can protect you. he can already feel his cock throbbing inside his pants and if it’s not for the fact that you don’t know that he’s stalking you, he’d say that you’re purposely teasing him. iwaizumi quickly fishes for his phone and takes the opportunity to take a picture of you.

he can’t help to imagine how you smell like after a nice, long shower. that mere thought alone makes blood rush to his dick. a whiff of you from each time you’re sitting next to him is never enough. he already memorizes your nightly routines; you skip two days to wash your hair, you have a separate towel to wrap your wet hair and the steps of your skin care routine and then you will proceed to turn on the music as you do your assignment on your desk.

that reminds him that he has better things to do too, but he can’t and won’t walk away until he makes sure that you’re asleep peacefully in your room. he wants to make sure that you’re not inviting some guy to your place because who knows who you’ve been texting when you’re not next to him? he still trusts you though, there’s no way you’ll keep it a secret from him. even if you won’t tell him, it’s not like he can’t go through your phone when you leave for the bathroom, and it’s not like you’ll notice the extra face ID in your phone’s settings.

it’s just a precautionary measure, he thinks.

but iwaizumi’s favorite part from his immoral activity is when you’re laying down on your bed, legs spreading as one of your hands disappear between your thighs and lips parting in inaudible whines. the look of your fucked out face as you cum makes his own body flush with primal heat.

if only you’d ask, he’d be more than glad to help you with your sexual needs. he’d give you the best fuck of your life until your little hole can only remember the shape of his fat cock; not anyone nor anything else would make you feel stuffed full and satiated. he often wonders how sweet you’d taste and how nice the sound you’d make when you moan his name.

oh how he wishes that you’re getting off to the thought of him. a guy can only dream.

“iwa, i’m in front of your house!” you say through your phone while pressing his doorbell at the same time. the door opens to a half-asleep iwaizumi, a phone in his hand and another rubs his eyes before inviting you inside.

“were you asleep? jeez, you look bad. did you stay up or something?” you whine, putting your bag down on the couch.

“hah, you could say that,” he snickers. “but you’re early.”

“why not? i bought breakfast too. let’s eat!” you chime as you walk to the kitchen and start to take out the food from the container and place it on the plates.

“sure, i’ll wash up and brush my teeth. hold on.” he mindlessly puts down his phone on the counter and strides to the bathroom.

after setting up the table, you sit down and play with your phone as you wait for him to come out. his phone suddenly vibrates and you glance to see that his mom is calling. you hate to pry but you innocently think that it may be urgent so you run to his room to where the bathroom he’s in.

you can hear the running water through the door, thinking that he would still be inside the bathroom. “sorry, you have a call from your mom so i’m coming in!”

though you’ve been to iwaizumi’s house plenty of times, you’ve never gone inside his room to study or finish up a project and he’d always keep the doors closed while you both do work in the living room. you were never really curious anyway, nothing would be interesting coming from a guy in his 20s. you’re willing to bet that it would just be a messy bed and clothes laying around on the floor.

but you’re dead wrong.

your heart almost drops to the floor as your eyes are greeted with a pair of your own from across the room. it’s placed nicely as if it serves to greet anyone that opens the door to the room. it’s one of your selfies that you posted on instagram from some time ago and it is one of the biggest pictures on the wall so there is no denying that it doesn’t immediately catch your nor anyone’s attention.

he has other pictures posted neatly on the wall, next to where he lays his head on the bed and the biggest one is in the center while the smaller ones surround it, built like a shrine that’s usually made by an obsessive fan for their idols.

as you walk closer, you realize that they are all pictures of you taken when you were idle and your stomach churns when you notice that they are all taken while you’re in your own solitude. it has one of your many expressions, from how happy you looked as you sing to how your face displayed lewd expressions when you were enjoying yourself during your sinful moment.

your breathing starts jagging and the voice inside your head tells you to run. and as you turn your heels around and reach for the exit, a pair of hands suddenly close the door shut in front of you– instantly having you pinned between the door and the tall figure towering from behind you.

the room falls silent for a second, you can hear your own heart pounding in your ears. you quickly try to collect yourself, though not daring to turn and look at him as you speak.

“h-here... your m-mom called.” you extend your arm back so iwaizumi can take the phone from your hand. “i... um... have to go.” you gulp, “i left… my stove on.”

classic, nice going. who even uses that excuse anymore? he’ll never fall for that.

you can feel the hair behind your neck start to prickle when he chuckles from your back. he’s so close, you can feel his breath when he speaks and how his voice echoes throughout the silent room.

“you didn’t even cook this morning.”

“j-just let me go, iwa.” at this point, iwaizumi notices you begin to lose your composure as you try to pull the door open but to no avail as he pushes his arms harder to keep the door closed. damn him and his strong arms.

“i’ll have to thank my mom later for bringing you here.” he laughs, wrapping his arms around your smaller figure and easily lifts you up to his bed before proceeding to trap you underneath his muscular body and grabbing a pair of metal cuffs from the drawer next to his bed.

it’s almost like he has been planning this all along.

“iwa, please– you don’t want to do this.” tears are forming in your eyes as you feel the cold metal graze your skin and hear the locking sound from above your head to restrain your hands from fighting back, as if you would have succeeded in the first place anyway.

“why not?” his grin is maniacal as he watches you wriggle helplessly underneath him. “when i can have you all for myself now? baby, this is all i’ve ever wanted.”

“you– you’re scaring me.” the metal rattles against the headboard as you struggle to free your hands, but of course, to no avail. iwaizumi’s eyes bore through your panic stricken face; your eyes are glazed and he can make up the reflection of himself in them. he feels rather accomplished– he’s finally everything and the only one that you see.

“iwa..” fat tears start to roll down your cheeks as you sob helplessly. iwaizumi seems to be startled a bit, then his face softens.

“how are you so beautiful,” he leans down to kiss both corners of your eyes. “even when you’re crying like this?”

you thrash your head side to side in a sign of protest but he gently cups your face in his large hands so you can look back at the pair of dark eyes that are filled with longing and desperation for you.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry for making you cry.” he kisses your forehead. “i don’t wanna be like those guys.” he kisses your nose before letting you go and draws himself back to be on his knees.

what once your comfort has quickly become a nightmare. his height and taut physique has never been deemed to be daunting until now; when he’s propped between your legs while his hand reaches down to caress your soft thigh and up to undo the zip of your skirt.

“please, let me make up for it– make you feel better. i promise i can.”

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[naktergalen]

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List 2

Hey there again! It’s been a while since my last rivamika post and I apologies for that. I caught the reading bug and have just been hitting book after book. I might be doing a book of the month suggestion starting in March. I’m still thinking about it but if that is something your interested in let me know. Or if you just want book suggestions just message or ask me. But for now, I’m back with my second Rivamika Fic Suggestions List.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the comments and messages I received from my first list! I think it has over 150 notes now which is crazy for me. I was going to be ecstatic if it got like 10 likes or something hahaha! I’ve enjoyed talking to some of you about fics and other snk stuff. Feel free to do the same after this post! I know I take awhile to respond but swear I get there eventually.

Same rules as last time. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some of these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. All of these fics can be found on AO3. I’m going to try to link them but we will see how tumblr acts today. If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list. If any author sees their story on here and wants me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. Okay shutting up now, ON WITH THE LIST!

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

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Completed:

- Thunder Clouds

Author: K_Lionheart

Rating: Mature

Sometimes I like to go to the very back of the Rivamika archive on AO3 and look for fics that have gotten buried over time. Low and behold what I have found lol! I enjoyed the emotional roller coaster when I was reading this fic, though sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out. Set after the titans are gone, humanity has to repopulate so arranged couples by the monarch are made to be wed. While this new order is being enforced, Mikasa and Levi are trying to work out their strained relationship. A slow burn with angst that will have you staying up till 3am dying to know what happens next. I know that there is a sequel to this fic called Nimbus and I’m slowly working my way through that one. Honestly, it will probably go on my next list.

- Red is the Only Colour

Author: mongoose_bite

Rating: Mature

A cute fic that was a quick but wild ride. A Little Red Riding Hood type of AU where Mikasa is a hunter of some sorts traveling through a town. I don’t want to say how Levi plays into all of this since it gets border line spoilers but just know that he is there. It is an opening ending fic for the author to come back if they plan on doing so but it can be interpreted in different ways. All in all, a fic worth of the quick read.

- Sing Me a Song

Author: LazyTrash

Rating: Mature

First I have to get this off my chest, I love the author’s name hahaha! I freakin wished I would have thought of that for mine! Anyway, this fic is wonderful but I will warn you that its a gut punch. If you like hurt and angst put together, then this is the story for you. I love these types of fics because I adore them so much but they hurt me in my soul. I don’t know what that says about me but whatever. I don’t want to delve into the story too much for spoilers but I would suggest rivamika fans to check this one out.

- Midnight Musings

Author: Raewyll

Rating: Teen

I just started to read Raewyll’s fics so I’m slowly working my way through all her works. This one caught my eye and I had to read it. This is a cute take on a chance meeting through texting the wrong number. I love the way Levi and Mikasa’s relationship blossoms into something more serious after causally texting back and forth. It’s one of those stories that I can only describe as being cute as shit! I’m definitely going to be checking out more of Raewyll’s fic in the future.

Ongoing:

- Beyond the Walls

Author: helena3190

Rating: Matue

If you love RIvamika angst, then look no further than this baby right here. This is currently my favorite ongoing fic. It was supposed to be a shorter story, but the author keeps adding more chapters so I’m not complaining hahaha! This fic is pretty much how I would *personally* picture canon Mikasa on how she would deal with realizing that she’s falling in love with someone. Its mostly told in the perspective of Mikasa as she is dealing with the after effects of war and trying to figure out what should she do with her life now that she is no longer a solider. Her feeling for Levi come with a lot of confusion as she’s discovering emotions that she has never felt before. She has a hard time pinpointing on what exactly describes her relationship with him. I’m anxiously waiting for the final chapter for this fic and dying to see how it will end for Mikasa and Levi.

- After the War

Author: loneackerman

Rating: Mature

I am loving this rivamika slow burn fic right here. Its similar to Beyond the Walls but I think the author adds their own taste of the 1920s into it. Set after the war is over (obviously), Mikasa and Levi have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. It has great tension, a perfectly paced gradual romance and just the right amount of humor to combat the emotional turmoil it puts you through. Again in my opinion, this is close to how I would realistically perceive Levi and Mikasa’s relationship evolving. I’m really enjoying this story and I’m looking forward to more updates to come!

- The Sound of Lightning

Author: LycheeGreenTea

Rating: Mature

A new fic that is just getting started but I can tell that what the author has in store is going to be interesting. Set several years after the end of the war, Levi and Mikasa are loving parents to a single child. Their peaceful life comes to an end when the family has a threat against them. There are not many long fics about Mikasa and Levi being parent so I was very happy when this one popped up on the AO3 feed. An exciting adventure awaits the Ackerman family now and I can’t wait to see where this fic goes in the future. There are three chapters as of now so head over there and check it out.

Incomplete:

- Home

Author: MissErikaCourt

Rating: Mature

One of the gems I found when diving back into the Rivamika archive. Ugh I HATE that this fic is incomplete!!! Its a good long fic but I’m greedy and I need more! I will give a warning first that this fic does contain heavy themes. Mikasa and Levi are in the underground to fight against a criminal ring. This story is a slow burn with action and emotional trauma. There is a wonderfully written OC that you easily get attached to its not even funny. Even though its not completed, I would highly recommend checking it out. I still have three more chapters to finish but I had to put it on this list. I know that I’m going to be pissed once I reach the last chapter written. If someone know MissErikaCourt, let her know that she needs to comeback to finish this masterpiece!

- Shiver

Author: bornsinner

Rating: Mature

Another one that I DISPISE its incomplete!!! Ugh such a great Office AU. It’s everything that I would want in an Office AU setting. Mikasa struggles between her committed long term relationship and her growing attraction (which starts to develop into some feelings) to her boss, Levi. Its hot, sexy and intriguing and it pisses me off that its not finished! The author writes each chapter as a one-shot but collectively together they tell the whole story. Highly recommend even though its so short. BORNSINNER where ever you are in the universe I hope you come back to finish this!!!

- Two Lines

Author: Crejhov

Rating: Mature

When this was getting updated it was my favorite on-going Rivamika fic. I would find myself checking to see if the author updated with a new chapter every week! The unplanned pregnancy trope is a classic one, but Crejhov does a fantastic job on keeping readers enthralled with soo many anticipated character meet up that are bound to cause hurdles for our expecting parents. This story is told from the perspectives of Mikasa and Levi in order for us to understand where their mindsets are as they plan for their expecting child and deal with their relationship. AHHHHH I want more of this!!! I was soo excited to see where this awkward journey was going to take Mikasa and Levi. CREJHOV COME BACK PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE WORK BUT PLEAAASEEEE! I NEEEEEEDDDD!!!

- Cabin Fever

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Mature

All I should have to say about this is that its written by AmayaOkami and that should explain it. Amaya is the one that gave us the beautiful incomplete rivamika fic Romance and Rivalry. I just adore her writing. Levi and Mikasa relationship evolves as they are standing guard over the arrested Kenny Ackerman. Secrets are discover about the Ackermans and it gets pretty steamy between our two favs. Great fluff and great sexual tension that leaves you wanting more chapters! Again AmayaOkami where ever you went I hope for some miracle that you come back and complete this one too!

One-Shot:

- Jade

Author: shulkie

Rating: Mature

This one-shot feels like I read a novel, it has such a great storyline. An arranged marriage between Mikasa and Levi leaves the relationship strained in the beginning. Their relationship evolves over time as Levi patiently brings down Mikasa’s wall. With smut added for all of your one-shot needs. Definitely worth the read in my opinion.

- What Remains

Author: Mirime

Rating: Mature

This one-shot gives us a glimpse into the secret relationship that Levi and Mikasa have been having while there are still scouts. This fic is sad but I would say it has a bittersweet ending. I think this was supposed to be part of a collection but I can’t find the rest of them. Still a great read by itself.

- Agape

Author: alienheartattack (Sanneke)

Rating: Mature

This fic is cute as shit! A College AU where Mikasa and Levi are childhood friends. Levi has to deal with Mikasa being at the same college as him while he is struggling with his changing feelings towards a grown up Mikasa. Worth the read as I said cute as shit, leaves you all warm and fuzzy lol!

- As Seen in Shadows

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

FUCKING MORA! LEE! WRIGHT! UFFFFGGHHH Fuck I’m in love with her writing style. I really have nothing to say more that just go read it! Its hot and sexy and the sexual tension is off the fucking charts in this one. Its just MoraLeeWright smut thats all I can say. It’s great! JUST READ IT LMAO!

- Remedy

Author: NSummer

Rating: Mature

Another hot smut one-shot coming your way! Levi and Mikasa have had an ongoing affair and this just recounts their first time together. Its just some good ol’ Rivamika smut that I think that everyone in this community would enjoy.

- Nutty: Drunk in Love

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Mature

A fun smut to read about Mikasa getting “revenge” on her asshole boss, Levi. Things don’t go the way she plans as things get a little heated in the sexy way. A quick smut that I think is perfect for a little Rivamika crave.

- Spicy: Jalapeno

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Another fun smut to read by Hallow17. Levi has been stressed out at work and Mikasa finds a way to help him get his mind off it (if you know what i mean). Again perfect for a Rivamika quick fix.

[justsomething2read]

ACOTAR review (spoilers!)

Star rating / 5: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

I have so many books to start posting about but I recently finished this series and wanted to start off with the first installment of Sarah J. Mass's ACOTAR.

Honestly, I stayed away from this one for a while due to all the hype on social media, describing it as a smut novel, not peaking my interest a whole lot. As a kid I had always been into the fantasy genre, so I eventually decided to give it a try since my friends all loved it.

I'll preface this post with the fact that I did consume these books solely as audiobooks both through Libby or Audible - it works better for my lifestyle and I enjoy them a ton! The audio version of the ACOTAR books had a fantastic narrator that carried through the first 3 books named Jennifer Ikeda - her subtle intonation changes to denote different characters was some of my favorite audio work and I was disappointed when the series eventually ended up changing narrators, though all were good.

I'm going to try to not include too many spoilers, just enough plot to keep my thoughts together.

To start, I really didn't like the not-so-subtle Beauty and the Beast theme that began the story. It felt a bit predictable from the moment we met Tamlin in his beast form, through when he just so happened to conveniently be rich handsome and obsessed with her. I saw that from a mile away, but I won't dwell too much on the predictability of this book as the series does pick up with surprise twists later on.

I did not understand the draw Feyre had on Tamlin throughout her time at the Spring Court until I understood the bargain she was meant to break. She didn't stand out to me as a particularly compelling heroine until the trials Under the Mountain, probably because of the circumstances surrounding her stay in Spring, and my general dislike of Tamlin from the start. To me, he always felt whiny and entitled, and I held his blonde hair against him, albeit rightfully so. His lack of emotion UTM completely fired me up. As a certain someone later pointed out, he never did anything to try to save her, knowing she was literally dying for him. Prick.

Lucien always resonated with me, I felt he was more a more trustworthy and caring companion to Feyre, and given how their relationship progresses throughout the series I'm glad I favored him. I also loved how the manor staff remained constant with Feyre to help her through confusing moments and the general bad vibes all around.

Rhysand. Ugh. I remember texting my friends the minute he was introduced to us at Calanmai (a bullshit R wordy ceremony IMO) saying WHO is this sexy night man and why is she with Tamlin when he exists. How he was towards her UTM was purposely done to set up later plot, but in the moments when you felt how Feyre was suffering, in agony and desperation, having his help (and Lucien's!!) set the tone for the switch I believe the reader was meant to make given her chosen partner. Plus the sexy scenes with her in her little outfits did not hurt at all.

The trials were everything - they showcased her strength in every way and made me absolutely root for her as my heroine of the series. Her determination to get through the trials and what she suffered during them honestly only made me hate Tamlin more for his "feigned" indifference. No thanks. The last trial was predictable to me given the step wise progression having bitch ass Tam Tam being the final test. He like barely thanked her honestly. I loved that the high lords came together for her, although again predictable that she is now conveniently one of them. What else can we do though she needs to stick around for a bit obviously.

Overall, this was a great set-up novel that was a fun read (listen). The audiobook was roughly 16 hr long, which isn't terrible and not nearly as long as some of the others in the series. That being said I absolutely devoured this and every other novel in this collection without an issue.

I'm giving this one a 4/5 due to my general distaste for our love interest from the start, as well as some predictability issues I felt made me roll my eyes a little too much, but it was overall a great introduction to a fun and provoking series.

Stay tuned for more reviews!