#i have like three..... four............ things i want to make video essay about i feel like i cant call them video essays though.

[corviiids]

wben i finally get more than 0.2 microns of energy and make one of the multiple video essays i desperately want to make so i can yap out loud as god (never) intended

[mishacakes]

how do you connect to your character? like how do get to know them so well? how do you pick out their likes, dislikes, habits and those itty bitty bits about them? I've been struggling to do that for sooo many of my ocs, and i'm also at a lost of how to design them. like i once had a clear idea of what kind of character they are, but i wanted to change them a bit, make them a little better, and i feel like I've lost that character and that character i'm working on doesn't exists, no matter how much i loved them and enjoyed writing an drawing them. this has happened with every single character i made and it just makes me think that i may not be cut out for drawing or writing characters. i look up to you so i thought of asking you for help

sry for the long rant idk wat im doing

HELLO HELLO THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! So basically I took this question and turned it into a 1.6k word essay on writing characters and how I like to do it, so, uh, hope you enjoy!! and hope it helps!

OK!! character writing. How do you do it? or, well, how do I do it. I’ve got a few methods that help me out the most and are the most fun for me to think about. Here’s my big secret, if it’s not fun I don’t do it. I’m not here to do homework I’m waaayyyy out of school. I’m a legal adult. I pay my taxes. I’m not gonna do something that doesn’t give my brain the good fun juice. Anyways. My methods are: symbols, archetypes, and character inspiration. I use all these to figure out the CORE of a character, their very beating heart, and most importantly, what haunts them. Everything about a character, in my opinion, comes from this core and their ghost. Their habits, their fears, their joys, their coping mechanisms. So long as you have a clear grasp on their heart, you won’t go astray. Let’s dive into it! The characters I’m going to be using to describe how I use these methods are Alice and others characters from my webcomic—namely Edith, Hatter, and Rougina—and Tomiko (you know her you love her, catgirl supreme).

Symbols! I love using symbols, they’re something that can describe a character through metaphor, even without going into detail about their whole backstory and habits. Tomiko’s symbols are lanterns (specifically light), cats, ghosts/yokai, shapeshifting, and gold. They all work to further her character as a rough around the edges monster cat with a heart of gold, who uses shapeshifting as a method (both literally and metaphorically) to mold herself into what others need her to be. Alice’s symbols are hearts, eyes, and flesh in general. Try picking one general symbol (the ocean, the forest, the city), and see how specific you can get from there. Or pick a god or goddess that resonates with your character and see what symbols are used for them. Rougina (the antagonist in my webcomic) is a war goddess fallen from grace, and is symbolized with land and volcanoes, so I’ve used volcanic plants to evoke her. Personally I also love going through the tarot for symbols, assigning a tarot card to characters (of the major arcana) is a fun exercise. Which leads us nicely into our next method:

Archetypes! The tarot deck’s Major Arcana is pretty much only archetypes. The Empress as the Mother. The Magician as the Wise Mentor. The Tower as The Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen Oh Jesus Shit. These can help a lot with who your character is. I’m extremely storytelling oriented, so it helps me knowing What Role a character serves in the story they inhabit. Another thing I love in archetypes in the Zodiac. Yes, I am an astrology bitch. The whole reason I love talking about my methods is my Sag rising, I love giving my wisdoms. But astrology can be used for writing, and not just for excusing and not reflecting on shit behavior (can’t help being a gemini!). The zodiac is FILLED WITH ARCHETYPES!!! From elements to how they function! The four elements (you A:TLA bitches know this), and three modalities. If you’re interested please watch Eugene’s Rank King video, it’s very informative on the signs. Also many symbols! For example, Alice is a Taurus—May 4, Alice Liddell’s birthday—so she’s pretty stubborn while also loving creature comforts. Tomiko’s birthday is August 23, making her a Virgo, so she likes being precise in her work. More archetypes you can look for are DnD classes! I love using that to design costumes. One of Edith’s recent costumes is very wizard inspired, since that’s the class I see her having as she’s very studious and driven. Heck, all of Alice and the Nightmare is derived from the character archetypes of the Alice in Wonderland characters! Rougina is specifically the Red Queen, NOT the Queen of Hearts!! The confusion started with the 1951 Disney animated movie when the two characters were merged!! Lewis Carroll himself said the two were different! The Queen of Hearts is an “embodiment of ungovernable passion” and the Red Queen is “the concentrated essence of all governesses”!! GOD!!! Tim Burton meet me in the fucking pit you’ll pay for your alice crimes. anyways.

Archetypes help a lot in costumes too, figuring out what kind of fashion they’d like to wear. You can start broad and get more specific with it (like going from a wizard type character to a wizard character with steampunk themes). Fashion is just an extent of character. What are they comfy in? Are they confident in their body? What colors do they like? Bright high fashion or simple dark sweaters? Ryoko Kui is a master of character design I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend checking out her work.

Another method I like using, specifically for Alice and the Nightmare characters, is what I call the “three trait method”. When I was in middle school we did a production of Alice in Wonderland (I was the White Knight), and too many girls auditioned for Alice. So the director’s solution was to split the character into three parts, and assigning each part to an actor. Her temper, her intelligence, and her innocence, all used in different scenes. Now I use that to think about my own Alice character, except with “polite, temper, and curious”. Edith’s keywords are “nervous, tactical, and intelligent”. Hatter’s are “kind, enthusiastic, and intuitive”. Using keywords can help figure out how they’d react in a situation, what side of them would shine the brightest. Hatter’s want to help everyone is his kindness, but overstepping his bounds can be attributed to his enthusiasm. Edith can know what path to take in a pinch, but her nervousness can freeze her in place. Reading the source material helps a lot with Alice characters too, which brings us to our final point:

Character inspiration!! The art of taking things you like and shoving them into your own characters and stories. DISCLAIMER THO!!! If you take things without really EXAMINING what about them you like, WHY you like them, and how you’d like to evoke that same love in the things you make, the interpretations can come off as shallow. (for more on this subject, watch HBomberguy’s RWBY video essay, specifically the section on “anime homework”)

Tomiko’s biggest inspirations are Izutsumi from Dungeon Meshi, April Ludgate from Parks and Rec, Power and Reze from Chainsawman, San from Princess Mononoke, and Mei from LMK. It’s a good cocktail of aloof, biting, vicious, weird, fierce, loving, and bright. Figuring out what I love about the characters and what I want to write in a character like that helps a lot in writing Tomiko. It’s also really fun in a sense for screenshot redraws and memes.

Music is also a HUUUUUUGE source of inspiration for me, I love making playlists. And even as playlists can change as characters grow and change, having a couple of core songs still helps me ground to that character’s center. For Tomiko it’s “Make Them Gold” by CHVRCHES, and “Nice Girl” by Ashnikko. Alice’s is “Headlock” by Imogen Heap and “Demons” by Hayley Kiyoko, Edith’s is “Warrior” by Kimbra, and Hatter’s is “Dementia” by Owl City.

Ok, we’ve gotten though symbols, archetypes, and made a couple of banger playlists. Next is something that can help write your character, the Big Lie. The thing that keeps them up at night. Their biggest fear, their ghost, what haunts them. What’s holding them back from their goals? What do they need to overcome? That can be as central to their theme as any symbolism. For Tomiko it’s the lie that her emotions don’t matter, only what she can do to be of service to her mother. Her arc is about overcoming her dismissing her own emotions and learning to not run away from the people who she truly cares for. Alice dismisses the literal ghost that is haunting her believing that that will let her have a normal life. Edith pushes down abilities that come naturally to her for fear that she’ll be exiled, not just from society, but the world. Rougina believes she must burden the world’s problems on her own shoulders with no one’s help. The outer character and the inner ghost can reflect, mirror, and inform each other.

Now, listen, sometimes characters are hard to get to know! Tomiko was lol. Quinn was for a looong time. And in times like this, I just, let them be. I listen to some music to get inspired, and let them tell me about themselves when they feel like it. And they will, it just take a little while. And a few dozen quick exploration drawings. But they come through. Also, try not to get bogged down with habits and little details of their character, keep their core in mind, what their heart is. Start broad and get specific. That way, if you feel like you’ve lost your way or the character feels different to you, recenter yourself at their heart and go from there. Or, if you find that their center no longer fits, don’t be afraid to change it! Characters are meant to be fun! First and foremost!! I make characters cause I like writing and storytelling, and drawing little comic for fun and me time. Sometimes characters stick around, sometimes they fall by the wayside. You really have to find what sparks joy, and chase your bliss!

So as long as you have your character’s essence in your hands, and you WANT to keep working on them and drawing them, there’s really no wrong way to go. This whole essay I’ve given is just a set of tools that works for ME, and I HIGHLY encourage you to find stuff that works for you! I really really hope that all this has made sense and isn’t just the ramblings of a madman. Good luck and happy charactering!!

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Can u do a pedri angst where him and reader finally make it official after months of him chasing after her but the next day the paparazzi find him getting cozy with a girl qnd its all over the media and she feels embarrassed but he doesnt think its a big deal so they get into a fight but make up in the end

I had this already done and then guess what...? I saw the same req but with Gavi🥴 Please, I don't really know how many times I've said it but don't request the exact same thing to other writers. I had this made before I saw it with Gavi so...🥴 Please, tell me what you think of this, I truly hope you like it!

Wrong Move -P.G8

Summary: He doesn't see what's wrong but you do

You remember the excitement on Pedro's face when you told him that you were finally agreeing to go on a date with him after five months of him trying. He went all in towards you and hugged you against him for a whole five minutes murmuring a few thank you's and a few you won't regret it's.

And it's not like you weren't interested in him, because you were; but, he was a famous football player and you were a simple univeristy student who works her ass off to pay for her university and bills. His busy and flashy life didn't contrasted a single bit with your boring and stressing studing one.

You were also scared of the media breaking into your private life and not to mentions his fans that could break you in millions of pieces with three words and also he had a reputation often being connected with random girls with the context of a hookup, he saying that he didn't looked for a serious relationship made you hesitate about him but Pedri reassured you and show you that, that was past, that he truly saw himself in a long run with you and that you'll be more than a random hookup.

He worked hard for you to believe him and he show you he really meant it.

That's why you gave him a chance and after eight months together as girlfriend and boyfriend and one month out in the public eye, you felt for the first time ever doubtful of everything he had said to you.

Pedro had asked if you wanted to join him, Fer, Adrián and their girlfriends on a night out since it was Adrian girlfriend's birthday and as much as you wanted to, you couldn't because you had to submitt a twenty-five pages essay in fours hours and you were barely at the fifteen page.

"Don't overwork yourself, amor, please" Pedro had said grabbing his keys "Te quiero, sé que podrás hacerlo, bonita" (I love you, I know you can do it) He smiled as you kissed him goodbye

"Te escribo al terminar, diviértete pero no mucho" (I'll text you whenever I'm done with it, have fun but not that much) You smiled fixing the neck of his polo as he pulled you closer to him by the waist kissing your lips once more

"I could never, not if you're not with me" He said against your lips before pecking them twice

"Anda, lindo. Te quiero" (Go pretty boy. Love you)

"Yo más, regreso más tarde" (Love you more, I'll be back later)

Two hours later, you got some weird inspiration and managed to finish your essay, you texted Pedro with the image of your submitted work and a lil "🎉😌 Did it!" To which he replied with a heart eyes emoji and "My smart girl" as you smile and got ready to have some dinner and shower.

Four hours later, you were sat on your couch with your chest tightening and watching the video of Pedri with a girl all over him, they were sit in some couch but this girl had her whole front pressed up against his side, her arms linked with his and they were talking.

The video showed him looking at her and sometimes nodding or shaking his head speaking with a smile but she was laughing, throwing her head back, pushing her hair out of her shoulder, the video ended with Pedro getting up and she following him.

Underneath, the comments were all of them disappointed on Pedro and supporting you but it didn't mattered to you.

What mattered is that how you were feeling, you were embarrassed, everyone was talking about how you were "The one who got cheated on", you wanted to cry and deeply wanted to know what is going on, on Pedro's head. You wanted him to tell you what did you just saw and the why behind his actions.

Ten minutes later approximately, you heard the front door being opened, soon your heard him taking off his shoes and then leaving his keys on the holder you guys have. Seconds later, you saw his figure greeting you in your living room.

"How did you passed from thirteen to almost thirty pages of content in two hours? Was I distracting you?" He laughed lightly coming over to you but his comment didn't changed your facial expressions, he didn't noticed them "I'm truly happy for you, bonita. However, don't let an assigment that long get up to you at last minute ever again. I don't want to see you that stressed out again, you were gonna pass out and I would have done it too 'cus-" You interrupted him showing him the video

"What's this and who's that girl?" Your questions sounded defensive and catched Pedro out of guard.

"¿Disculpa?" (Sorry?)

"Who's that girl? And what is this thing that's happening on the video?"

"She's just one of Ferran's friends"

"And are Ferran's friends allowed to link their arms through yours, push themselves against you and basically hint that they want you to... You know?"

"She wasn't hinting anything"

"You are right. She wasn't hinting, she was showing you. She was openly flirting with you and you weren't doing anything to stop it"

"You're overreacting this"

"Am I?" You stood up shaking your head in disbelief "If I am, then why millions of people are agreeing with me too? I'm not the only one. People are thinking you cheated on me with this girl"

"And you believe them?"

"I don't... But should I? You were incredibly cosy with letting her rest her front against your fucking arm over and over again. You were laughing, shaking and nodding your head at her words without pushing her away or letting her know you had someone waiting for you at home"

"Had?" He asked eyes wide open as you closed your mouth "You're just being jealous. I wasn't flirting with her and I definitely couldn't care any less if she had another intentions with me because I am that crazy in love with you, I am freaking greatful and satisfied for what I have at home that I don't need to see anything or anyone on the sidelines"

"Really? You have such a weird way to show that"

"Y/N..."

"I'm tired, Pedri. We can talk it later, I'm not in the mood to hear or see you anymore" You sighed shaking your head, you grabbed your phone and passed by him going to your shared bedroom "I definitely didn't think this could happen to us"

He heard it.

"Nothing has happen to us! You're overreacting!" He yelled pushing his head up so he can see you

"Would you think I'm overreacting if tables were turned around? Would you think it's okay if I go to some other man and flirt and link my arm through his and push myself onto him? Would you accept, me looking into your eyes and tell you: "I wasn't flirting with him"? Wouldn't you feel down knowing a millions of people have seen it and are letting you look like you were cheated on? Wouldn't you feel embarrassed? Are you sure you wouldn't? Because if you wouldn't then yes... I'm overreacting" You said looking into his eyes "Accept it, you fucked it up when you let her get that close to you"

"So this is it?"

"I don't even want to know if this is it or if it isn't. You can make your own assumptions and you can let me known them with another video if you like, I'll be in the guest room. I'm done. Night, Pedri"

And with that you were gone as he stood there looking up at where you were standing. He took his phone and got inside Twitter, the video was the first thing loading into his homepage.

He gulped watching it, it really could be misinterpreted but he wasn't doing anything with other intentions. He loves you with his whole life. It can be said that he loves you even more than he loves football, you came into his life unexpectedly and turned it around 360°.

He didn't see girls who weren't you with other eyes, he even stopped receiving fangirls numbers to prove you he is serious with you and to let you know how much he respects you.

"Why didn't I pushed her away?" He questioned himself

She was funny and he did liked her, as a friend, she lets herself be liked and gets into the group fast but in his mind and heart you were the only one.

You are the only one and he did the wrong move. His efforts that once were high now laid at 0 and he did understand your point of view now.

Frustrated with himself he got out of the app and his eyes connected with his home lockscreen. You and him kissing each other in a beach during you vacations in Canarias, the beauty of the photo is the love you two have for each other and the kiss that was interrupted by smiles on both of your faces.

He has to make it up to you.

Picking up said photo, he captured it with: Mi única chica, te amo💜 hoy y siempre♾️. (My one and only, I love you. Today and always) He turned off the comments for everyone except for you and headed up to the guest room.

He had to be careful with his words and explain himself as much as he could. Your eyes were closed but your cheeks had tear marks, you were awake just ignoring his presence. He sighed and crunched down to be in front of you.

"Que soy un idiota" (I'm an idiot) He began "I swear to everything I own and to everyone I love that I truly don't care about her, I talked to her and tried to be just her friend, she's nice and she may had wanted something with me but the only one I want, the only attention I want, the only girl I will care about the most, the only girl I will flirt back with, the only girl I fall in love with, the only one who I make fool with, my only one everything is you" He reached out to push your hair out of your face and when he saw you didn't reacted back to it, he let his palm lay softly on your cheek carressing it with his thumb.

"I'm sorry, mi vida. I really don't know why I didn't pushed her back, I should have because I'm a taken man but I guess she's new over here and we just wanted her to be comfortable with us"

"But not that comfortable" You said as Pedri smiled

"I know, she crossed a line" You open your eyes and looked at Pedri "I'm sorry" You shook your head smiling lightly "And you didn't overreacted, I would've done the exact same thing if tables were turned around. I'm truly sorry, mi vida"

"Don't do it again, Pedri"

"Pedro"

"Pedri"

"Pedro"

"Pedri"

"You only call me Pedri when you're mad!"

"I still am!"

"What can I do for that bad feeling to go away?"

"Cuddle me, love me, give me some ice cream and never do it again?"

"I can do all four and mostly the second one" You smiled and lifted the blanket for him to step inside. He smiled taking off his hoodie and joggers being left in his boxers and wrapped his arms around you.

He pushed his head down and searched for your lips, kissing you softly and slow "Te amo" He breathed out

"Te amo, mi niño lindo" You whispered back as he pressed you further into him. You guys got comfy and after a few minutes Pedro gasped "What's wrong?"

"The ice cream" He turned you around and got out of your hold

"Pedro, no! Come back here! Ice cream can wait!"

"I know how that goes! Ice cream CANNOT wait!" You smiled widely falling back into the pillows.

He may did a wrong move but he always knew how to fix it.

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[twin-disaster-tutel-brainrot]

So I wanted to write a short post about Splinter's relationship with Donnie, but I realised I need to give it more context, so here we are. This is going to be an analysis on the similarities between Splinter and Donnie, and how those similarities affect their relationship.

Let's start with the easiest example, given to us in "Breaking purple":

(sorry for the bad quality gif)

Donnie, as we know, isn't good at understanding his own emotions and expressing them, and he's also not that good at understanding other's emotions. This video essay explains his low empathy really well.

Donnie doesn't know how to deal with emotions, so he does the next best thing - looks at adult example and copies it.

Splinter, while loving his sons and wanting the best for them, is objectively not the best father. He was thrown into fatherhood with no preparation after being imprisoned for over a decade and turning into a rat. He clearly has depression, has no friends, no support system, etc. And the only reference he has for parenting is his grandpa.

So similarity one, they're not good at dealing with emotions.

The second similarity is they're both bad at lying. And, more importantly, bad at noticing when they're being lied to:

(Arguably, you can say they were all too focused on trying to get away with their own lie, but I digress.)

Donnie needs to be said stuff directly. He's shown to not get sarcasm quite often:

And Splinter is shown multiple times to be quite unobservant:

Like, this gif is from when he grounds them, and he just accepts that those four flour sacks are his sons and moves on.

Which leads us to the third similarity, of them both missing obvious social cues. Donnie because of his social skills, and Splinter because he's unobservant.

There's more similarities, like their love of dancing for example, but the reason I gave those similarities is because I want to talk about their relationship.

Splinter, again, wasn't a very good father. He didn't know how to raise his children, but you can see he did make an effort. They all never hesitate to hug him, to call him Dad, and even when they find out Lou Jitsu is their biological father, they never doubt his role as their dad for a second. Which shows that even though he was neglectful, he did have a positive impact on their lives. They love him, and he loves them.

But, one line stood out to me the most, and that's this Donnie line:

Why? Because Splinter always looks extremely proud of his sons, and it sounds odd that he never told Donnie he's proud of him. And we know he desperately want to hear him say it:

So Splinter never told him he's proud of him, but he's also going to say it three times in this episode, only finishing the sentence once when Donnie isn't close enough to hear. Not only that, but the first instance is because Donnie made him a booster, which looks like a very minor thing, so he has no issue saying he's proud of them even because of the tiniest thing.

If so, then why is Donnie missing the verbal validation so much?

Splinter is not good with knowing when to express his feelings and how, and he's not really observant. Just like he never actually said he's proud of Donnie to Donnie's face in this episode, my guess he never said it to his face in the past too. Like, he tried, but he never actually finished the sentences when Donnie could hear, and he probably didn't even notice.

I'm also guessing he used acts to show how proud he is (for example, the fact he didn't hesitate to choose the Turtle Tank for the demolition derby shows how proud he is of Donnie's work), but because of Donnie's need to be told everything literally, he didn't feel the validation from him at all.

I feel like out of the four turtles, Donnie has the rockiest relationship with Splinter. He logs every interaction they have, doesn't immediately trust him when he offers to spend time together, gets mad at him the most often out of the four of them, etc. But you can also see he loves his dad, and he outright tells him this in "Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man":

Anyways, I'm just really passionate about showing Splinter isn't just an abusive uncaring father, and showing that the turtles know this.

(Just learned there's an "alt text" option for images so I just removed the image id and turned it into alt text instead.)

[blazehedgehog]

ICYMI: My Sonic Frontiers Criticism/Essay Is Out Now

So here's the last four months of my life come to fruition: the longest piece of edited criticism I've ever put on my Youtube channel, clocking in at just over an hour. For those of you that may be new around here, I am pretty against making long videos. I don't know if I overthink things too much or what, but it's rare for me to have much tolerance for feature-length reviews of things. They can wear me out just watching them, and it definitely wears me out to make them.

But sometimes you just have a lot to say. And I didn't even necessarily say everything I could have said here; there were things I would have added if not for the looming deadline proposed by the video sponsor. That's not a complaint -- sometimes you need someone else to tell you "be done by this date or else." Limitations foster creativity and toiling away at perfection can sometimes be just as toxic as crunch.

What I was trying to say is it's a big video, and it was hard keeping everything straight in my head because there was so much. One of those times where I was glad how I planned things out in advance, because sometimes the thoughts you had four months ago are not the same thoughts you have today, and the thoughts from four months ago were better.

It's already proving to be a bit of a divisive video, given I am going against the grain here. But I'm a big boy. I've spent time on the front lines of these sorts of things before. I know how to handle myself. I mean, half the reason I started my tumblr back in the day was pointing out some of the truly deranged takes I'd get in the replies to my Sonic 06 video.

Though I do worry. I'm getting a lot of people who are... politely declining to tell me what they think. More than a few "I don't agree with you, but I'm glad you released this video" that then never elaborate further. And that makes me feel bad? But why? Do I want to argue with my friends? Not particularly.

But more to the point, are people afraid to argue with me? Do I get too aggressive? I've picked up on a vibe, not just from friends, where people seem to go out of their way to avoid arguments with and/or around me. I mean I literally just said I started my Tumblr blog as a "get a load of this guy in my comments" spotlight (which, for the record, I don't do anymore). I don't want to be scary. But is it scary, or is it a strength? Or am I just imagining the whole thing? History says it's probably that last one, but it doesn't stop me from wondering. It's a lot to chew on.

At the end of the day, I do think parts of this script could have been better. I do kind of get a little mean at a couple points in ways I could have written around. A lot of people are bristling at the opening spiel, where I get more than a little "you people" about the Game Awards voting situation. There's another part later in the video where I also feature actual comments from a previous video and as I was editing it together I thought, "this sounds mean." But given I was less than 24 hours away from that deadline, I just had to roll with it (so I at least blurred the names and cropped the avatars out).

I'll end this post by quoting what I wrote on Patreon day before yesterday for the early access version of this video:

What a march this has been. I've worked on some videos that felt like they took forever, but nothing like this. This felt like the project that would never end. Some of that's because, after pushing myself so hard on the Sonic Adventure 2 video, I tried to be a little more casual with this one. I think I started the script around the end of April, a couple weeks after finishing the game on-stream. The idea was to avoid burnout.  And then the script grew, and grew, and grew, to be the longest script I've ever written. After doing voice over, I had three hours of material I had to cut down. I captured more than 60 hours of gameplay from more than 50 games. Thank goodness I took the time to stop and "storyboard" out this review like I did with the SA2 video. It actually proved to be extremely valuable here -- with a video this long, that takes so long to put together, it's hard to keep all of your ideas hot and ready in your head. Often I'd fall back to the storyboard and realize I planned something months ago that was way better than what I was doing in the moment.  And then in July, a sponsor came calling again. Suddenly I had a real deadline. The last four weeks have been a race to move this mountain of material into something resembling the shape of a video. The last couple days in particular have felt something like a miracle. A work ethic I hadn't tapped into in years suddenly roared to life as I locked down 20+ minutes of video in a matter of hours. It may have involved several actual panic attacks and me running on about four hours of sleep, but here we are. I was revising the script all the way up until a week ago. In retrospect, the sponsor segment probably leans a little too much on SAGE content, but by the time I realized that the train was barreling down the tracks too fast to stop. Thoughts for next time, I guess.

Patrons get a PDF of the script I used, including an unfinished earlier draft I abandoned where I think I was actually even meaner about it, if you can believe it. They also get a PDF of what my "storyboarding" process looks like (which is all just text).

I'll probably toss up a post for all the art I made for this video, too.

[ramblesbiab]

I feel like if there's one thing I could probably make a video essay about today if I had the energy to is how utterly terrible seasons three and four of the Harley Quinn animated series were at understanding everything the first two seasons set up.

Season one establishes the status quo, it shows us who Harley Quinn is as a character in this iteration, along with building her relationships and motivations. Season two builds on this further while having great set pieces and concepts which further challenge and showcase the characters.

Both those seasons deal with the budding romance of Harley and Ivy, but they understand that you can't have an entire show based entirely on one couple. The other characters exist for a reason. They diversify the show while also just... being good characters. King Shark, Dr. Psycho, and Clayface are all amazing, and those are just a few of a large and well-balanced cast.

Along with this, Harley Quinn herself is such a good character. She's funny and chaotic without being too much, and when she goes too far, she's called out on it and it's addressed in a mature way. I genuinely, and I'm not sorry for this take, believe that the first two seasons of Harley Quinn is one of the best animated shows out there. It's so unapologetic in it's style, so understanding of what it is and what it can get away with.

And then, there's seasons three and four.

In stark contrast to the complexity of seasons one and two, seasons three and four each choose a singular angle to focus on: "What if Harley Quinn is actually morally good?" in season three, and "What if Harley Quinn isn't actually morally good?" in season four. They create a season-wide problem only to use the entire next season to disprove themselves. It's such poor time management, especially for this show!

One of the biggest reasons I say that is because of Season 1, Episode 7 - "The Line". This episode addresses how Harley Quinn... isn't all the way morally evil, but rather is a complex character. They address the debate of Harley Quinn's morals in one season one episode better then the entirety of seasons three and four! I know the writing team had some changes after the season two finale, but did you not watch the show before writing for it???

Now, I have to admit that I'm being a bit harsh on season three here. It has some interesting concepts that the show runs with, and a few of them work. My biggest problem with it is honestly the fact that it's so clearly the buildup to season four, which is genuinely awful in itself. Harley's team starts to be featured less, they start to push towards the "Maybe she's good?" of Harley, the issues between Harley and Ivy start to drift from a cross episode - or even season - narrative where they both grow and learn more about each other, to a weirdly episode-by-episode affair where they fight, feel a bit upset, then magically make up at the end while we all go aww yay!

The heart of the show has been removed. I wish it hadn't, because I was excited to have a chance to see more cute Harlivy moments, but somehow the show became too engulfed in Harlivy. This was never really the Harley and Ivy show - they were always the main characters, sure, but as I said before, the show understood you can't have a show about exactly one couple. The problem is that their new attempts at focused side characters fail.

Bane, Nora Freeze, and the Bat family are all good characters, but they're at their best when used sparingly. I genuinely don't understand the choice to step away from King Shark and Clayface as main characters, because season four shows how awful they function when they're used sparingly.

I'm mostly disappointed that when I want to recommend one of my favorite shows of all time to someone else, I have to do it with the condition that it falls off significantly as soon as season two's wonderful finale comes to a close. Maybe it should have be Fin, after all.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

thank you for what you said I really appreciate you explaining it so concise. Where do you stand on the whole Buck and Tommy thing if it's okay to ask? Because just based on what Oliver said in his latest interviews it sounds like that is going to be a very casual thing/fling which makes sense I suppose. Especially if Tommy is just a catalyst to get us to Buddie this season or at least Buddie getting confirmed as going canon.

Also can I ask why do you think Buddie is gonna go canon in your opinion, I agree with you that everything feels different and I truly think Ryan spilled the beans without actually saying it that now Oliver has to be with him at all times during interviews.

I explained why I think Buddie is going canon here, in regards to someone asking me why I thought Buck/Tommy happening meant Buddie was therefore going to happen. I explain my feelings on Buck/Tommy here.

(Please remember, Buck/Tommy is also speculation! We don't know anything for sure!)

...also you are so sweet but that answer was not concise LOL that was a whole ass novel.

I'm not writing another essay, it's eight thirty in the morning, but to quickly summarize:

re: previous posts, if either Buck or Eddie is queer, Buddie is happening (please click aforementioned links)

ABC is really towing the line on promoting Buddie without queerbaiting, a fine line to walk and a risk, but they're taking it, I presume for a very good reason

ABC has very much positioned themselves as the saviors of the show, not just literally but also giving them/us all the things they/we wanted but evil meanie FOX didn't - makes sense to me that would include Buddie (I'm sure they already have visions of GLAAD awards dancing in their heads)

they took Ryan's muzzle off - okay all jokes aside, Ryan was infamous for blurting stuff out during interviews, so the PR team has to know that letting him do interviews again (especially live video/audio that can't be ignored or deleted like a written article) will be a risk, so they have to be taking that risk for a reason

it's the only logical place the writing for these two has been headed since season three. I have four years' worth of meta on this blog about it by myself and others so feel free to dig around! Tags where you'll likely find that kind of thing are #mads answers things, #911 spec, #911 meta, #911 fox, and #buddie.

My inbox is currently flooded to please remember guys, search the tag 'mads answers things' on my blog and scroll down, you might see I've already provided you with the answers you seek in answering someone else previously!

[endlessly-cursed]

𝑮𝑶𝑫 𝑰𝑺 𝑨 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑪𝑯: 𝑯𝑷 𝑾𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵 𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑹𝑬𝑪𝑰𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 𝑾𝑬𝑬𝑲⋆✯✦

1st of March– 8th of March

Some ground rules:

No men allowed. This is an only women-focused event. There will be another one of them

Ship and let ship

Be respectful to one another

Try to portray the women in a positive way

Don't be a misogynistic jerk, please

Some things to consider

This applies to all eras (Founders, HPHL, FBAWTFT, Riddle, Marauder's, Golden, MA & Next Gen)

While it's mainly focused on the same OCs, NPCs and canon charas are welcome

Everything is accepted: mood boards, edits, gifs, videos, essays, etc

You can have as many women on the post as you want to, and even make it with separate parts

The event will be tagged with #hpwomenaw

PLEASE tag me in ALL your posts!!

You don't have to make every day of the week, just the one you feel like it

Remember to have fun!!

PROMPTS

Day One: God Is a Woman: Tell me your own favourite HP Women and why!

Day Two: Who Run The World? Girls!

Tell me about another OC that isn't yours that you love and why

Day Three: I Got It From My Mama: Tell me a mother of your OC that you love and why

Day Four: Mother's Daughter: Tell me about a female fankid that you love

Day Five: Sister From Another Mister: Tell me a sister of your OC that you just adore and why! Surrogate or not

Day Six: That's My Best Friend: Tell me a female friendship (can be a duo, trio o a whole damn group) that you adore

Day Seven: Women Support Women: Give some love to your fellow female creators or tells us how are you going to celebrate the women in your life!

Day Eight: International Women's Day: Celebrate this reivindicative day as you wish! Go to protest on the streets, make a random post, tell a story regarding women's suffrage, etc. Today everything is valid!!

[zapposter]

The list to refer back to when I realise I’ve been doomscrolling again

1. Read that history book on the nightstand 📚

last time you were in Kraków you Were complaining how you don’t remember any facts anymore, do something about it

2. Try to learn some card tricks🃏

You’ve got two books on this with you, you’ve had them for years, high time to grind that skill out. Especially considering your brother suddenly got into card tricks too and that has always been your thing

3. Paint in the studio 🎰

You’ve already emailed everyone and made sure that you can, now just move your ass and go. Leave for few hours, do some painting. Just zone out, it’s therapeutic

4. Go for a walk 🧳

Just go

5. Draw with ink 🖋️

You’ve got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight… eight different colours. Go ham

6. Draw with dry pastels 🥫

Go get dirty, you know you like it

7. Work on the zines for your friends 📠

We ball, I know you’re gonna make it the best zine you possibly can. Add some cool quotes from songs you both know

8. Watch a figma tutorial 💽

It’s new and you’re just learning, so I know it might be scary, but no harm has ever came from just trying. If it doesn’t work out? Just fuck it, go girl

9. Design something 🎪

Create your own one, copy or upgrade some other design. No rules and doesn’t have to be good. Remember to just enjoy the process, you’re designing just for you

10. Illustrate🎖️

Make an illustration, just a baby one. No big projects (unless you feel like it). Just get back into the groove, have fun with it

11. Play some music 🎫

The harmonica? The kalimba? Up to you, or just belt it out

12. Do some yoga 🌬️

(Idc if it’s past 11:30 or before 4:30, get movin love)

13. Go to the library 📔

So many books, it’s free, you can sit there as long as you want. Also it’s literally the peak of academia core and you get a walk. No downsides

14. Watch a movie 📽️

You’ve got a movie list, turn the projector and watch. All these movies are amazing. The vibe is immaculate and you can multitask if you want to

15. Watch a video essay 📺

You’ve got some good ones queued up and its 100x better than scrolling. Learn something new

16. Paint some gouache 🍂

You can make little gifts! Or paint something you like, or make illustrations. And you don’t even have to leave your room (but you can, go for a walk and paint en plein air)

17. Solve a sudoku 🍰

50 to go, you can solve them wrong 50 times for all I care. But by the end of it you’ll have done it and it won’t be so scary anymore

18. Journal 🧃

Just anything, empty your mind out

19. Phone a friend 🎟️

You’re alone as it is, don’t alienate yourself even further please, make sure you get some contact

20. Animate something 🎞️

It can be anything, and remember baby steps. Just try to be more at ease. Remember other programs felt complicated and unfriendly at first too. It will al get better, just trust the process

21. Learn some zippo tricks 🐛

You’ve got a new zippo, it’s was a lovely, thoughtful gift. Imagine if you learn some trick to show him

What’s important in the end is to remember to trust the process and keep in mind that most of the things on the list (just like eating well, waking up at reasonable time and going to sleep at fairly early times. All which you should also be doing) is forms of delayed gratification when you compare it to the option of doomscrolling. The whole day will flash before your eyes before you realise it. The week will pass by, the month and the summer will follow.

Grab life by the horns, look her in the eyes and make out. Tell her you love it. Have fun

[flaim-ita]

Odd numbers for a Geats character of your choice!

You know I have to go with Ace

1 - My first impression of them

Love at first sight. I’m a Tsukasa fan so it goes without saying that I was THRILLED to have a new asshole boy for the first time in nearly 15 years. And then ep 1 his and I was fully cursed forever. He was so confident and cool and I just KNEW he was going to have something so very wrong with him

3 - A song that reminds me of them

Outside of canon Geats ones I guess the only one I can think of might be Black Sorrow from Alien Stage https://youtu.be/v0Rl9Au21lI

5 - My favorite ship of them

Ot4. I was obviously a mark for this one of course I am a Decade fan but they are all so mentally ill and I want the series to end with the four together or looking for each other, depending

7 - A quote of them that you remember

“My mother has done no wrong. I’ll prove it” the poor man is setting himself up for failure. Plus like wow. On a scale of Ace to Steven Universe what is your stance on blaming your abused mother for all war crimes and suffering ever?

9 - Your least favorite outfit of them

Ace wears this ridiculously oversized everything for Zombie arc and I cannot stop bullying it. But his worst suit is LazerBoost it’s too bulky and Mk II is sexier.

11 - What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

I want to ruin him. If he’s lucky, his cule will get the pieces to put back together.

13 - Your favorite friendship they have

Ace slowly going from forcing Tsumuri to be his sister to them clearly being genuinely open and honest with each other in the latest ep gives me Life.

15 - Worst storyline they had

I don’t have a single complaint about Ace like genuinely at all. But if I had to choose and acknowledging that I know why (making it easier on his beloved friends to fight him if he plays the villain mode up, also Keiwa basically just called him a sin to be rectified), I do wish he’d told the others what was being done to his mother.

17 - What do you think their first word was?

Mama. In every life, the first word he parses out, and usually much faster than most children, is whatever form of mother is easiest to say.

19 - The most random ship you've seen people have with them

Someone on Ao3 has written Ace x Hideyoshi Kan and I want to study their brain. I do not however want to read the fic.

21 - When do you think they were at their happiest?

Neon’s birthday. When Keiwa said “Ace is Ace”. I think in that moment Ace felt close to true happiness for the first time in centuries and it crashed as soon as it rose.

23 - Future headcanon

When everything is over, Ace keeps his hollow wishes. What he does not keep is his true one. His mother is dead, and he isn’t sure if he will finally forget, after this life. What he does know is none of the others can go home, and he built one especially for a DGP built family.

The Star of the Star of the Stars lives with popular breakout streamer Neon, who speaks openly about abuse and mental health issues in careful video essays but also chats and dances and is bright during actual streams. They live with three more mysterious individuals, Keiwa and Michinaga, who sometimes appear on streams, and Ace’s mysterious “Nee-San.”

What they don’t see: Ace is empty. Perhaps he forever will be. But having a family helps.

Even if it’s not who he spent so long searching for.

25 - When do you think they acted the most ooc

Ace rescuing Giroli like 2 days before Fox Hunt was hilarious timing but not necessarily OOC. Although it’s the only time his actions felt off from the reality of the story, it’s minor and movies are filmed super early.

As for proper OOC, when he’s all “I don’t care” about Michinaga. It makes sense, he finds Michinaga far too pathetic now to be a real rival, but it still feels odd.

27 - If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

I want him to meet Tsukasa because I miss Tsukasa desperately and I think they’d vibe together.

Also for non Toku I have this distinct image in my head of a Steven Universe crossover where not only have multiple Aces been friends with Rose, he then meets Steven and is kind of like “oh yeah of course there were things wrong with your mother but at the end of the day I think she wanted to be a good person, more than I did at the times, and we don’t necessarily have a right to judge what worlds our mothers definitely hoped would be better to us than to them.“

29 - How do you think they would be as a parent?

Ace seemed unsurprised that past and future people could not have kids so I do believe every Ace has had fertility issues, as a half breed himself. Any kids he did have, they didn’t live very long.

Ace is a doting father but he is distant and hyper vigilant. By the time the baby is two months he has had them checked for every possible disease and condition. He will always make sure the baby is clean and fed and cared for, but it takes longer to bond. After all, it never stops hurting when he loses a child.

When he does bond, it’s even more obvious. He is convinced his child is the most wonderful person in the universe, takes her with him when it’s safe, and cherished every moment.

If it’s Ukiyo Ace, the child survives.

[screwtheprinceimtakingthehorse]

Top of the Stack, Issue 26

Greetings friends,

just a quick hello from me before the month is out! February was rough in so many ways. I only posted a few updates on Twitter and kept folks up to date through the discord server, so if you’ve been wondering why I’ve been kinda quiet, here’s a sign of life!

I’m ok! My family’s been put through it this month, with first my godfather passing away, then my dad suffering a stroke just three weeks ago, and now my mum’s apartment being uninhabitable thanks to a broken heater that the landlord isn’t really fussed about repairing. In the middle of winter. There’s other stuff going on I won’t go into here, but these next few months will be eventful. Something something unprecedented times.

The good news: after three weeks in hospital, receiving genuinely excellent care, my dad is back home! He’s made a remarkable recovery. Thankfully, mum can stay with him while she looks for a new place to live — it means she’ll worry less, and he can help her with the paperwork. It’s very German of him, I think. Give a man paperwork to do and he learns to walk again.

I took a break from streaming and everything throughout all that because there was no way I could have even pretended to be a functional human being. My sister and I also both stayed with our mum for the first week after dad’s stroke, and every single day was so exhausting, emotionally and physically. As healing as it was to have all four of us together, and see how much it helped my parents to have us show up like that and be present, there’s still a cost to it. You’re running on survival mode — the three of us had to remind each other to eat, to drink enough, to take sit down — and at the same time there’s a want for normalcy. To enjoy the time together, to dig for another silly joke, another laugh. For my dad, it was a huge part of his early recovery: to know that this was not the end.

Once I came back home and things were looking so much better than the week before, I just let myself rest. I went back to work, but the remainder of the time, I played video games. I’d torn through Horizon Zero Dawn the first weekend to distract myself, and then it was straight on to Forbidden West. The right amount of game, at the right time. (I really mostly played it to turn my brain off, but it turns out I caught thoughts in spite of myself: there’s a blog and video essay coming about knowledge as an objective and theme in both games’ narratives.) I’ve slowed it down now, but I still sit down nearly every evening to play more. I can enjoy it for what it is, and playing it doesn’t bring anything back up. But it really helped.

Can a video game save a life? Yes. Without that distraction, my mind would have turned itself inside-out with grief. It is grief, even when you’re not (yet) bereaved. Only time will tell how we all process this. Thus far, the relief over my dad’s quick progress has bolstered us, I think. But there’ll be more to deal with, as there always is.

I’m back to streaming and making videos and writing now, after taking time to adjust to everyday life and recalibrate my energy. I did a recording session for Bioshock first; sort of as a practice run for to-camera stuff and interacting at least with an asynchronous audience. This gave me the added safety net of being able to just stop at any point without having to manage any (even positive!) reaction in the moment. That went well, however, so I felt confident in streaming again on Friday. I enjoy it so much, and I knew that taking a break was the right choice precisely when my feeling switched from being glad I had nothing on on a Friday night for a while to being excited to stream again.

Now we’re heading into March and I hope that it will be a kinder time for all of us. Be gentle with yourselves 💜

[bonesandthebees]

We saw Tommy, Ranboo, Puffy, and Technoblade all going somewhere together.

Tommy must be scared fucking shitless right now. I would bet a lot of money that there was something else going on. Either the four of them were heading into a big important conversation, or they just had a big important conversation. While I expressed in my last ask that I think Phil cares for Wilbur, on some level, it’s not out of the question that Phil’s still doing manipulative stuff.

So I think that Techno and Phil have both noticed the brothers acting strangely, and they’re both addressing it with their respective narrative partner. Phil does so with much more tact. Before the revelation with Ranboo, Phil’s scene with Wilbur would’ve come off as really sweet. It’s only the context that makes it so problematic.

Now this is obviously all speculation. But I think Technoblade was trying to have some sort of conversation with Tommy. Maybe he was asking Tommy if something was wrong/something changed. Maybe he was trying to help Tommy with Wilbur. I’m wondering why Ranboo and Puffy would be there. Techno would probably pull Ranboo in for emotional support – either that, or he told Ranboo his plans to talk to Tommy, and Ranboo convinced him to let him in on the talk. Puffy though? I don’t know, maybe it’s similar to Jack? Is she being Tommy’s escort now? Or is it somebody else? I forget if you mentioned that

Regardless, I wouldn’t be surprised to see that come up again in tomorrow’s chapter.

In other news, I’m loving the feel and tone of this chapter. Time for me to nerd out about writing techniques. You really changed up the structure and pacing of this chapter and it works so well. I know some of that has to do with the chapter being split, and I think it unintentionally makes the chapter even better as it would’ve been as half of a whole. The shorter than average wordcount and impactful scenes really picks up the pace and signals that shit is happening.

This chapter was so unique in so many ways. It was the culmination of one of the major arcs of the fic (Wilbur’s trust issues), it changes up many relationship dynamics, it gives the reader hope while simultaneously cultivating a sinister fear that things are about to go down.

I’m a nerd. I’m a huge nerd. This fic makes me want to start doing video essays. When Stars ends, prepare for the essay. Because once it’s all over, I need to talk about structure and pacing and character development. Those three things are very intertwined, and nailing them all makes for a truly amazing story. You’re nailing them all. I know that I give a lot of compliments but I just have to because damn.

Stars is lowkey my hyperfixation right now. Maybe highkey

-🔥

hmm a big important conversation could've happened... or maybe tommy is just spending time with the people he's supposed to be closest with in the palace. we don't know. but either way, phil and techno have both noticed something is going on with the brothers, i'll confirm that. also, puffy is tommy's escort now. I believe I mentioned that back when jack told wilbur that he was just his escort now? maybe I forgot, if so that's on me. but puffy was only there because she's tommy's guard now like how jack is for wilbur.

aaaa I love when you guys point out details about the writing techniques I use!! yes I changed up the structure of this chapter a bit. I wanted it to feel kind of movie-esque while also keeping a layer of mystery for the readers. you find out about the plan as wilbur goes to the different people involved. you don't know what he's doing until he's asking jack or asking quackity for their help.

I do wanna say though, even split, this chapter was over 9k words. it was by no means a shorter than average chapter. I can see how it might've felt like that or you just assumed since I had to split it, but it wasn't shorter lol.

this chapter was so fun for me to write because it felt like so much was culminating all at once but it was also kind of an interlude chapter. just preparing everything for the escape. the calm before the storm.

aaaa I would be extremely excited if you wrote a whole essay about stars because I've put so much effort into it and I'm so so proud of how it's turning out. it makes me so happy to hear how much you guys enjoy it so thank you so much flame anon. pacing and plot structure and character development are definitely the elements I focus on most when writing a story, so tysm for telling me I'm nailing it

[etern4lsun]

❝ ―  𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!  asher  choi  welcomes  everyone  for  a  day  of  free  coffee  and  fresh  baked  goods  to  commemorate  a  dream  come  true!  feel  free  to  grab  as  much  as  you'd  like  and  just  have  fun!

.  .  .  bakery  owner  and  youtuber  has  gone  missing.  asher  choi  was  last  seen  a  week  ago  closing  up  his  bakery  before  getting  into  his  car.  if  anyone  has  any  tips  of  his  whereabouts,  please  report  them  to  the  local  authorities.

𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏4𝒍𝒔𝒖𝒏 ―  independent  fandomless  /  dead  by  daylight  survivor  oc.   subscribed  by  astral!     triggering    material    ahead

☼  .  *  .  –   a  video  essay  in:  looking  at  the  𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳  side  of  life  ,  constant  misfortune  and  poor  luck  ,  not  letting  fame  get  the  best  of  you  ,  being  the  people  pleaser  (  even  at  the  cost  of  yourself  )  ,  trying  not  to  think  about  the  past  ,  being  the  object  of  someone's  𝗼𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻  ,  a  sunlight  that's  always  𝚂  𝙷  𝙸  𝙽  𝙸  𝙽  𝙶. 

¹  doc.    ²   interest   tracker.

𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩:  𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙺𝚄𝚄𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙾.

𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭 : bloodyvain , sh4pechange , ofcr4nes , hemat1c , s1ngedwings

                     RULES  BENEATH  THE  CUT

ONE.   THIS  BLOG  IS  18+  AND  THIS  IS  YOUR  WARNING.  Since Asher is an OC based in the universe of Dead By Daylight,  murder,  torture,  mutilation,  blood,  gore,  and  the  like  will  be  present  on  this  blog.  I  will  tag  anything  visually  that  includes  things  like  that,  but  with  writing  it  depends  on  how  graphic  it  is.  Triggers  are  tagged  as __  //.  I  don't  have  any  specific  triggers,  but  if  you  do,  please  let  me  know. Lastly,  on  the  topic  of  smut.  It  won't  be  under  readmore  unless  my  partner  does  it  first.  Also  I  won't  hold  off  my  smut  stuff  for  Sunday  and  will  post  stuff  like  that  on  main.  Whenever  I'm  in  the  mood  for  it,  it'll  happen.

TWO.   Honestly,  I'm  all  kinds  of  shipping  trash.  If  there's  a  chance  you  ship,  I  probably  ship  it  too!  I'm  a  fan  of  all  kind  of  ships  as  well.  Romantic,  platonic,  antagonistic,  and  everything  else  in  between. But  do  keep  in  mind  that  some  ships  can  be  quite  unhealthy. Not because Asher is easily jealous, possessive, or violent, but because of what Asher is willing to put up with. He has a knack for staying around when he should leave. He's very dependent person and is in need of validation.

THREE.   I  am  mutuals  only  and  that's  how  I'll  stick  for  my  own  comfort.  I  follow  whoever  I  want  and  I  wish  for  that  to  be  respected.  Don't  ask  me  why  I  didn't  follow  you  back.  Don't  follow,  unfollow,  follow  again  in  order  for  me  to  follow  you  back.  If  I  didn't  follow  you  back,  that's  that.  Don't  make  me  have  to  block  you,  and  I  hate  having  to  block  people.  Mutuals  are  free  to  send  in  inbox  memes  that  focus  on  interactions  between  muses  and  continue  them  from  that  ask  post!  Non-mutuals  are  free  to  send  in  ooc  questions  and  headcanon  things.  Mutuals  are  also  free  to  ask  for  my  discord  and  talk  to  me  in  the  IMs.  Mutuals  are  also  free  to  reblog  musings  posts  and  graphics  things  I  may  post!

FOUR.   I  make  every  single  graphic  on  this  blog.  The  icon  borders,  the  PSD,  and  everything  else.  Don't  steal  my  stuff,  thanks. I've  recently  been  experimenting  with  formatting.  I've  been  having  fun  bolding,  italicizing,  underlining,  and  using  colored  font.  I  also  double  space  and  haven't  been  using  small  font.  So  if  none  of  that  sounds  interesting  to  you,  I  would  recommend  not  following.

[guzsdaily]

The factory must grow

Day 4 - Nov 09, 12.023

I'm addicted to Factorio, all the times I played it, the sense of time was completely lost to me. It is so addictive to see your factory grow over time, see each production line filling belts, see your research tree being completed. And yesterday, when I ended up being awake until 1 a.m. - and just went to bed because I started to search for mods to speed up the game time because I'm still in a "starter base" and ended up being a little frustrated that my resources were ending and my production slowing down and stalling the research tree - I ended up making an analogy which is what I thought could be the theme for today. This can end up felling very "gen z coach like", but whatever.

Playing creative mode

I never played Factorio in survival mode, the intended way to play it. "Why?" Because I didn't want to be through the grind and consume hours of my day in the slow passed gameplay of gathering resources, waiting to craft an item, walk slowly on the map to build a train line, etc. I always thought that just designing the factory itself would be more fun, "why pass all that when I can just install a mod and play with cheats? It's more fun to make a giant factory with perfect resource consumption and production!". Playing this way was cool and all, I always tried to make the most exaggerated production lines, train networks, furnace arrays, decorating and aligning everything, so in the map it always looked like a giant computer with so many parts.

But for some reason, I never stuck to a base, I never played for hours without feeling bored at some point. Most of the time, all the resource productions were in a brute force way, never actually planning and calculating how many items I needed or consumed. I tried installing modpacks which added more and more things, more resources, processing steps, etc., but it never fixed the problem for me. "I liked building in creative mode in Minecraft for years, why here would be different? It's just like when I'm trying to build Redstone contraptions or giant builds, no?". Because of it, I always stopped playing and had months length intervals of never opening the game.

Playing survival mode

Game design and development is something which really interest me, even knowing that now days I probably wouldn't develop any game, the programming for it is so out there compared to web development that I would need to re-watch all the video courses that introduced me to programming in general in the first place. But I still watch video essays, commentaries, devlogs about game dev and design from time to time, and one of the things that you always see around them is "designed progression", or how games show your progress to make you have fun and see how you're improving your skills and powers. This is even one of the reasons that I was convinced to play ULTRAKILL in the first place, because the flow of the game was so addicting and even being difficult, you see easily how you improve your movement, try different things, adapt and improvise in unexpected situations, etc. And knowing by the title of this section and this paragraph, you already know where this is going.

I tried to play Factorio in the intended way, started a new save called "RealFactorio", default settings, survival, with just Quality Of Life mods to add and fix some features which the developers already plans to do in the 2.0 version. And now I addicted to it, and I just played for some hours in the past three to four days, I pretty much end every day wanting to play at least a little, one hour or so, to progress my base. It all a spaguetti base, but from somewhere I heard, if you call it your "starter base", you can't be judged for it being ugly or poor planned. So here is my started base:

I'm addicted to seeing those belts fill up with science packs after creating a clumsy section just to be able to have the next shining new thing in the research tree. Even if it doesn't produce in big scale, even if most of the belts are empty because I didn't calculate enough resources and production time, even when I already died five times killing enemies to be able to expand the base in the future. It is ✨satisfactory✨, wait… that's another game.

"But why?" Well, it is kinda obvious seeing now. Seeing your progression after you actually battled and put energy into something is rewarding, it gives you dopamine, and all that talk you already know, yadda yadda… However, for me what more is interesting is the difference on how a game like Minecraft, which for me, can be fun in both creative or survival, while Factorio can't. And I think it can be explained in the difference of two words' meaning for me: "creative" and "design".

Creative: this would be the process or joy of creating something itself, expressing what you like, artwork in general. Personally, this is where something like Minecraft in creative mode, creating pixelart in Factorio - which I'm wasn't making - drawing a doddle in your notebook, etc. would be.

Design: this would be when you are creating something with a defined purpose or goal, trying to create something with some sort of pattern or thought behind. Where something like Minecraft survival, Factorio, drawing a new character, logo design, etc. would fall on. This also include the process of adapting a work to fit a limit or trying to create something efficiently. Yes, there's creativity in this process, but the overhaul picture is bigger than one work itself.

And my problem was that I was trying to be creative when I should be designing more. Admiring after how all that work and planning paid off when I saw my factory working with the limited resources it had. Because of this that I found joy on playing the game. That's even why I like to play Minecraft survival, because is both of them at the same time, you need to design farms and collect resources if you want to make your building to express yourself and be creative after.

The [obvious and convoluted] analogy

I have to admit that at this point of writing, the point of this entry made some many turns that I don't even want to rewrite any part of it. It already passed some hours since the start and I need to do something productive today yet. And to be honest, this entire post is just me trying to excuse the hours I spent on the game really.

You probably already heard of that talk about "gamifying your life", and I won't repeat it again here. I'm still learned and probably will add things like a progress bar to see how many tasks I've done one day, small things like that which helps you see your progress daily. And knowing my taste of games and how seeing a progress bar getting to 100% is somewhat satisfying to me, hopefully it would help.

What I want to talk about is on designing your life, and even more, trying to see what pieces to improve, what production line needs more resources and thought on. The same way it is good to break everything into small digestible pieces, if you never stop to see the bigger picture, you never end up seeing your whole progress and how much your factory has grown.

And the other thing to remember is that unfortunately, real life doesn't have a creative mode for most of the time and for most of the people, so resources are limited, and you don't have infinite energy, but would it be fun if it had?

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Today's artists & creative things

Album/EP: Spare Hearts - by Exit Mouse - This is that album that you forget about, but when you remember it, you need to listen to it again and again. Exit Mouse I discovered because of Goulart (a Brazilian youtuber) which made a video about the online series Cat Ghost, and I simply fell love with the music. Highly recommend, favorite music of the album for me is "This is (Not) (feat. Caleb Hypes)", it just gives a feel of hope but also uneasiness[?] the entire album, and I love it.

Copyright (c) 2023-present Gustavo "Guz" L. de Mello  <contact.guz013@gmail.com>

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

[lord-radish]

I've been watching videos with Newpipe's little pop-up video player while I play Runescape on my tablet, I keep looking up people's video essay playlists and digging up whatever seems interesting to me. I got through a twelve hour video breaking down all 40+ seasons of the American version of Survivor in about four sittings, it was very dry and the video creator did it for the meme.

Recently I decided to look up "trans video essays". I've also been reblogging a bunch of trans content that shows up in my "For You" and "Your Tags" feeds. I just found a really good one, it gives me that feeling of like "wow happy endings do exist and there is a brighter tomorrow":

I dunno. After having the week off from work, I was able to just chill, play games and think and feel like I don't usually have the time to do. Trans stuff is just coming back after going to ground for a while.

I remember one time I made my gender questioning very public (I want/ed to look and be like Velma Dinkley), and I think I did it for the wrong reasons and a lot of how I was feeling "went to ground". It was a bright spot in a dark time, but there's so much of my life and emotional landscape that isn't "typical" and until I get a bunch of fundamental dings out of the panel work, I wouldn't be comfortable making a statement about my own gender and stuff.

That's where I think I failed back then, because I had a lot of immediate issues come to light and the queer stuff went to ground for a while. Like I do immerse myself in queer stuff for long stretches of time and it feels good, but a lot of the time I'll have a ton of stress on my plate and darker aspects like depression will overwhelm all of my faculties. A lot of that queer immersion ends up falling by the wayside outside of the most basic allyship because I'm dealing with an immediate crisis, and sometimes I'll try to pass as "normal"* just to try and smooth everything over and get through that immediate crisis. The queer stuff is still there, it's just dormant because there's so much happening already.

*That "normal" isn't cishet by itself. It's a big part of it, but there's stuff like neurodivirgence in the mix as well. I feel like I'm always falling behind in a whole bunch of different categories, so when these crises emerge I put all my energy into trying to "pass" as far as I think my environment wants me to be.

The thing about that "immediate crisis" stuff is interesting when I think about it, because work is a never-ending immediate crisis. I describe myself at work as keeping my head down and getting the job done. That's every day of my life. Then when I finish my shift, I come home and play video games for three hours, then I go to bed. I'm feeling a lot of shrimp emotions after this past week of holidays, and it's only hitting me now after most days being very soul-numbing and repressed. When I go back to work, my general atmosphere is probably going to go back to being numb and repressed.

I dunno. Basically the Leadhead video is extremely good, chicken soup for the soul-style stuff, and I've been vibing with trans stuff lately. I wanted to share the video but there's a lot of stuff tied to that.

[irresistiibles]

@mvsicinthedvrk​ submitted: this is about to be a long message but you know what? you are used to that from me in at least one thread of ours, so it is what it is!!!

thank you for your nice, too-nice words about my adminning. i wrote maig a whole essay about getting hired alksdj;lasdjf and i wont retype it for you, but i’m really happy to hear from your message that i set your mind at ease in terms of inviting someone new on the team. i set out really wanting to help do a good job, and i think it sounds like there are no outright performance complaints on your part re: my work here lmao, so i’m glad. your videos were LIFESAVERS, and i watched them so many times that for a while i heard your voice in my head anytime i did anything on the main. you seemed really comfortingly organized in terms of teaching me everything i needed to know. it was a lot, definitely, but i appreciated it. please know that i will literally never yell at anyone to get on the main, i physically do not have it in me to be able to do that, but if asks start piling up in the inbox you can all simply assume i am leaving it as a gift for someone else :’) lmfaoooooooo. but i do know that my work cleaning the inbox out regularly does NOT go un-appreciated, so thank you for making me feel like i am a useful member of the team.

and to compliment YOU, you’re always so good at dealing with ooc issues (which i really had no idea happened until i joined the team lmao) but you are so good at working things through and having a plan, and you’re so inventive in terms of events, like i cannot WAIT for the upcoming event that is based on your entirely unhinged doc. who could even come up with all of that other than you?? i’m really obsessed with everything you come up with.

and then in other admin group nonsense, too, you’re SO funny. every time i get to play jackbox with you all i have such a blast, and you specifically always have the best commentary. i really do think you need to start a podcast or something because the world should be forced to witness and appreciate your wit and humor. also related to jackpost i love how hard you are to beat at murder trivia, lmao. you have also made me see so many terrifying and/or cursed posts and links in the discord, many of which i will unfortunately never be able to cleanse from my memory, but i have such a good time in the chats in general regardless of that. really truly, thank you for letting me join you all, i really look forward to every week knowing that i’m going to have a good time talking to you and that i’ll get to help contribute a small part of helping make this rp run, because hidden really is such a special place. i know i’ve only been here for three years of the insane hidden five, but at the same time, i’m like-- wow, i’ve been here over half the time now, and i really can’t imagine my daily life without being part of this in some way. i wish you (and us???) success for the upcoming years!!

if you thought i was done writing this message, you would be wrong. now moving into WRITING positivity-- there’s so much i could say to you about getting to write with you, but our beefleaf threads. your shi qingxuan. they are my everything. i cannot think of a rush of endorphins and anxiety stronger than when i get a beefleaf reply from you: endorphins because i am so hype to read the next installment of their story and anxiety because i KNOW its going to hit me right in the gut, lmfao. and writing for those threads have challenged me in such interesting ways because of the many layers of complexity and having to figure out how to express what i want to say in a way that makes sense for he xuan; i’m so grateful to you that the beefleaf threads have helped let me explore that emotional depth in the narration. (if someone told me i’d be happy to sit working on one reply for four hours and get no other replies done that day idk if i’d believe them, but that’s what beefleaf makes me do sometimes) and seeing the end result is so so satisfying once i push through the distress, haha. so thank you for that, and i’m forever hoping that one day they will resolve the conflict (for their sakes, and ours!! rip). and then obviously i appreciate our other threads as well-- gu zi is such a delight. i’m obsessed with your fixation on qinghua; reading his replies are the pinnacle of entertainment for me to read, especially your threads with kasey between qinghua and qingqiu, please, they take me out. victor and yuri are such a reliably fun set of characters to throw together. and i still LOVE your nie huaisang headcanons! i think i owe you an unaware starter for him and wei wuxian, so that’ll happen at some point this week if i can get my shit together.

anyway i AM going to force myself to shut up now before this starts getting ridiculous if it’s not already. thank you for everything this year, and i’m really pleased that i can solidly look forward to another of the same laughter and emotional distress and chaos and compassion. i’m deeply lucky that i can call you my friend. much love, sincerely, ollie.

the fact you sent me so much i’m going to have to long post tw this ollie!! should be a crime!! when i can afford lawyers you will be hearing from them for emotional damages!! also would not reccomend calling me funny it is the type of compliment i will hold onto forever ahhhhhhhh but truly you are incredible. i am so so glad we’ve been able to meet and be friends going to sky beam all my love to you