#i have issues + being not cis makes periods a lot worse

[non-un-topo]

Y'know how the first day of your period is always like I'm dizzy I'm nauseous there are noises everywhere I'm covered in sweat and I'm filthy I'm sitting in blood I want to take an ice bath I don't want anything at all to touch me ever I'm going to kill my family I'm going to pass out oh my god I can't breathe I'm in pain oh lord deliver us from evil? But don't worry, it's normal, girlie! You were made for this, queen 😉👑

[liskantope]

Since the "LGBT+ content in schools" issue keeps coming up, here are some of my thoughts directly on it.

Charitably speaking, I think conservatives are afraid of a particular, narrow, modern, very SJ-ish social agenda and belief system being shoved down their kids' throats. I do have some sympathy with this concern, although I'm not sure the extent to which anything is actually being taught that I as a (more progressive-thinking) parent would object to: I do hear what I would consider disturbing stories but have little way of knowing how embellished and/or unrepresentative they are.

So anyway, a bunch of conservatives have whipped up a moral panic about it and are fighting back with legislating (what are, at least according to some) bans against talking about the existence of gay or trans people at all, or anything about race that might possibly make white kids uncomfortable in any way. Which is absolutely absurd, a "cure" worse than the (possible) disease.

(And disallowing gay/trans/queer teachers from, for instance, disclosing that they have a same-gender partner, even though it's been normalized for decades and is still permissible for a teacher to bring up their opposite-gender partner, is just outright homophobic, period. That shouldn't be too hard to see.)

I've tried reading the legislation (for instance, the so-named-by-opponents "Don't Say Gay" bill), and I'm bewildered as to what it actually adds up to or how it can even function as legislation. What a lot of it says amounts to moderate, common-sense-sounding guidelines that don't actually appear to demand that "gay" not be mentioned in any way, but it relies on phrases like "appropriate for their age group". Well, who gets to decide that? How is this legislation ever enforced or teaching ever policed based on it?

My only guesses as to what conservatives think they're doing is that (1) the laws are almost meaningless but serve as a grandstanding move meant to signal "Hey look, we're on the right side, we're doing something about it!"; and (2) since the wording of the law requires a ton of individual judgment and interpretation, perhaps in the most conservative school zones where all the people in power are sufficiently conservative it really could be used as a sledgehammer to ban ANY mention of anything they don't like.

Meanwhile, I think there could be some common-sense guidelines that allow teachers to bring up the existence of gay and trans people and allude to the issues and even (to kids above a certain age) discuss some of the civil rights battles surrounding them, without shoving any particular highly controversial political ideology down their throats. The idea is to stick with basic facts about social reality. Gay and bi people exist (at the very least, in the sense of people who choose to pursue same-sex relationships). Trans people exist (at the very least, in the sense of people who identify as a different gender than indicated by their sex at birth), and some of them choose to go on hormones or get sex reassignment surgery. Gay and trans people are people too. There has been and still is a lot of stigma against them, and there have been struggles to secure them rights for certain things -- for instance, same-sex couples couldn't get married in most places until last decade! By the way, kids, I prefer they/them pronouns. You're encouraged to think for yourselves about what that might mean and how to feel about it, but it's a preference I'm asking you to respect and you should respect such preferences among your classmates. Mr. So-and-so who teaches in the next classroom has a husband. You probably know several other gay and bi people, and they're people too. Some of you may come to identify or already identify as not straight or not cis.

Of course that won't satisfy everyone, and it can't be done in an entirely non- politically biased way, and conservatives may see plenty of reason to complain that these things are even being mentioned or that the teacher has gone as far as normalizing people who fall under the queer umbrella as human beings without at least criticizing them as having lost their way.

But it's, to my view, subtly but significantly different from very positive actions that go beyond neutrally describing reality with an underlying default of respecting others. That would include enthusiastically pushing kids to analyze their genders and sexualities all the time, telling them "You can be whatever gender you want; what gender would you like to be now?", teaching highly politicized lessons on social justice which involves students rating their degrees of marginalization and separating the room into "oppressors" and "oppressees", constantly centering everything around a scrupulosity-triggering activist mindset, and many more things.

[yallemagne]

tags from there-goes-all-the-cotton-candy

I am not angry at you, sorry if I come across as defensive, I just wanna get some things straight

#breeches #i mean... yes #and no #1. the linen was very very fine linen and yes often sheer #2. or pantalets would probably ? not be worn underneath a nightgown #for a long period in history the only underwear was the shift or shirt so yeah i do kinda doubt girls were wearing their pantalets to sleep #i mean theyre split crotch anyway #3. once again on the fabric thing by the late nineteenth century they had shifted to cotton more often in nightclothes and if you have ever #yes it is indeed very sheer

have me drawn and quartered ma'am, i don't know what type of undies she'd be wearing if any. My mistake, perhaps I just shouldn't have mentioned it at all. Except it's kind of a key feature of the ask.

No matter what she's wearing she shouldn't be raped tho, I think we agree on that. No matter if she's going commando and her dress is clear as glass, that is no excuse for someone to hurt her. That was my point.

#4. i do appreciate the women's horror for of being a voyeuristic fantasy and u are correct #that said as a queer women i do also quiet enjoy the voyeurism in the fantasy on multiple accounts

Hence why I very purposefully use neutral language when talking about the voyeurism. I did not exclude queer women from the equation by saying that "people want to get their rocks off" and talking about the "audience's voyeuristic fantasy". I wrote all this with my lesbian friend in mind (sorry babe if you're reading this but also haha nerd), so I didn't complain "men are sexualizing women!!" because I know women do it as well. Also, obviously, the problem isn't the sexualization (come on, I'm not a prude), but we'll get to that part [1]. The only time I mention men's preferences specifically is when referring to cis men not being accustomed to the horrors I described here which is a different point entirely [2].

#i think the thing is that the gothic is in a lot of ways a pretty horror #and yes that is due to the fact that it is feminine and sexual #but i do not think that makes it worse #it doesn't water it down or make it bland #i think that a lot of the thrill of the gothic is the way that it eroticizes horror

[2] I am referring to movies and depictions that strip the horror from the experience and leave only the eroticism. Because those depictions are designed with cis men in mind, who benefit a lot from the "well, what were you wearing when they raped you" mentality and are not socialized in a way that facilitates a lot of sympathy for those who go through experiences like this. So the idea is that adaptations of Dracula don't trust these men to understand the horror and just rewrite the scene to be softcore porn instead.

[1] Now, I don't say "the goddamn eroticism" with any malice, just sorta... exhaustion. I'm ace, I get worn out by it though I can and do enjoy it. The eroticism is inherent in gothic lit, and their penchant for lush and descriptive imagery leads to very pretty horror. That is not the issue. My issue is with the horror being stripped from the bones, leaving only Hollywood-manufactured pretty for people uninterested in horror to gawk at. Give me back the fear!! For me, that's the best part!

why does sleepwalking women and gothic horror go hand in hand

You asking me?

The answer is voyeurism.

Here's the thing about gendered horror: the goddamn eroticism. You can't escape it, people want to get their rocks off even when they're terrified-- especially when they're terrified! It's such popular imagery because of the intimacy of a woman with all her hair let down in only a white nightgown highlighted by the pale moonlight. A nightgown is very innocent in its intimacy, there's nothing inherently sexual about it, but that just gets people even more horny! No structured garments underneath-- she's wearing breeches obviously but shhh no she's totally naked save for some sheer billowing fabric. Gasp! Unprotected purity! I sure hope no dastardly villain tarnishes this woman! (they do. they do hope for that actually)

This isn't a very fun answer, is it? But it's worth saying. Horror explicitly involving women tends to be very visual with plenty of (arguably) sexual imagery. Men get the mindboggling horrors inconceivable to the human psyche while women are limited to being eye candy who faint before their minds can even be boggled (no that isn't a euphemism). Even when the women in question previously had a larger role in the story than "sexy lamp", pop culture will be quick to reframe it in the way that has the most sex appeal.

But like... let's take the woman's perspective: you're in a state of undress and completely unaware of your surroundings. It's dark and anyone lurking around at this time might very well have bad intentions, and they might turn those bad intentions on you. And you'll be blamed for being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong dress. Terrifying. And people don't really appreciate the terror of it because... it's pretty, isn't it?

But then Lucy is weeping in her sleep, and Mina is covering her feet in mud for propriety. Because who knows what a man will do to them if he sees her naked feet? They're both cowering in fear hoping a drunken man doesn't take notice of them. Because who knows what he'll do to them if he sees two young ladies out at night? They're sweating from not just exertion but stress, and their messy hair clings to their frightened faces. They cannot tell anyone. Because who knows what toll this night might take on their good reputations?

It's not pretty. There's no see-through dresses (seriously their nightgowns are made of fucking linen, not organza), no flowing locks, no full faces of makeup, just pure society-ingrained horror.

But cis men don't typically understand that horror because they aren't usually victim to it. It honestly makes me sad and angry that the imagery is so prominent (and in such a watered-down and bland "sexy" way) because it reduces the actual horror these two protagonists face to nothing more than an audience's voyeuristic fantasy in which the women are only objects to be gawked at. The danger is reframed as tantalizing and enticing "ooo good girls (unknowingly) being bad in their sleep!" rather than... they could have fucking died. Or worse.

... But I still want to draw my girls (Jonathan, Mina, and Lucy) in cute nightgowns, so I'll bite my tongue.

[flipsidcd]

meet carson brennan, a drummer and grocery store cashier who lives in the arts district of ashmore. he's 26, born 06/22, making him a cancer - which makes sense, he is pretty careless and cheerful. he's originally from carson city, nevada; i wonder if he'll stay in ashmore for long ― owen patrick joyner, bisexual, cis man + he/him.

𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒. statistics / timeline / connections & wcs / pinterest / playlist

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒.

floppy golden hair that keeps falling in your face, bouncy legs, drumming on any surface you can find, big toothy smiles, rolled down windows in a beat up car, the ability to make a game out of anything, matchless optimism, way too much holiday spirit, and wisdom found where you least expect it.

𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

the oldest of two children had in a desperate bid to save a failing marriage.

were one to view the earliest of carson's years from an outside lens, there'd probably be cause for concern. the family was in a constant state of flux and motion: moving from place to place, never settling down, never establishing a sense of home or normalcy. had his parents not been as good as they were at shielding their kids from the chaos that was their life, things would have been a lot worse.

in carson's eyes, though, it was all a blast. he's always been an adventurous, outgoing, and optimistic guy, so new places just meant new friends to make and new things to do. being the eternal "new kid" at school during his elementary years never really bothered him either. even if it was only for a fleeting moment, he had a way of worming into the hearts of the people around him. in fact, he still keeps in touch with a good chunk of them.

after his parents finally decided to call it quits when he was 9, he stuck with his mom and sister, and the three officially settled down in ashmore a year later.

his mom remarried when he was 19, introducing a stepfather and his kids into their family.

to be entirely honest, it was hard acclimating to being in one place for an extended period of time. carson left pieces of himself on the open road and every place he lived before, and that's made it hard to really, fully, 100% settle into ashmore the way his sister and mother have.

that being said, he did start a band when he was 14 ! the flip side is a passion born from the love of music he inherited from his mother and the wanderlust he inherited from his father. while the local fame they've garnered recently doesn't really interest him, he's intrigued by the idea of potentially expanding a little bit outward. at least to other places in oregon. mostly he just wants an excuse to roadtrip with his friends.

while the band is his passion, it doesn't really pay the bills. in fact, it sort of does the opposite. to counteract this, carson became the king of the odd job. he's walked dogs, mowed lawns, delivered pizza, newspapers, and everything in-between. he's worked classic jobs too, like at the tackle shop, gas station, arcade, and as a barista and waiter. unfortunately, he's got an issue with maintaining these jobs. not because he's a bad worker ( well... debatable ), but mostly because he gets bored and has a tendency to leave for... not necessarily greener, but newer pastures.

at present, he's working as a cashier at the grocery store. it's okay. he likes that he gets to interact with people a lot, but the paycheck definitely leaves something to be desired. he doesn't really think about that part too much though, much to his friends and sister's chagrin.

sometimes he'll help his sister with her wedding planner business. not in any huge or meaningful way, but he'll help get supplies and set up venues. it's not really his thing, but he likes helping out where he can. again: he's the king of the odd job.

he does not have a college degree. beyond the social aspect, he didn't really like the structure of school ( #justadhdthings ), so he just didn't go back after squeaking through high school.

right now, he's just vibing. he's in an eternal state of just vibing.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.

golden retriever energy to a T.

cancer sun, capricorn moon, leo rising. the leo rising runs strong in this one.

he's kinda got spencer from icarly vibes. like, he's a bit of a grown child, but he's got wisdom beyond his age at the same time, you know ?

also has michael berzatto vibes in that he's a bit careless, can make one feel like they can do anything, and everyone feels he's their best friend.

he's really chill. there's very little that can be done to phase him. this is for better and for worse i fear since it can make him a bit of a rug.

he always remembers a face ! honestly he's got a really good memory in general.

would go to the ends of the earth for his friends and family ! he's incredibly loyal !

that said, also a bit non-committal. not in a relationship sense, but in a life sense. he gets bored with jobs and hobbies ( excluding music / drumming / the band, though even those have the occasional dip ) and ditches them for new things at the drop of a hat. he still doesn't mentally feel 100% settled in ashmore, even if he logically is.

the kind of person that will strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone. baristas, customers, some old guy he passed watering his lawn during his morning walk. it literally doesn't matter. he's allergic to being shy.

yes, he goes on daily walks. he loves a daily walk.

can't keep a plant alive to save his life.

often serves as emotional support for his friends and family.

a little gross ! a little bit boy gross ! burps in public ! the 5 second rule is more of a suggestion ; sometimes it can be 10 seconds !

none of the decorations in his apartment were things he picked out. if it were up to him, he'd probably have an r/malelivingspace, but the people in his life have essentially decorated his place for him. in most ways this is a good thing, but there's definitely a few more... questionable items that he got as gag gifts ( there are so many ugly throw blankets and weird knickknacks ).

a bit of a sleeper agent at trivia night. knows a lot of random, pointless knowledge. ...what ? he may not have done great in school, but that doesn't stop him from watching a lot of trivia shows.

[royalberryriku]

// Half a vent, half a political thihg

TW: body stuff, gender dysphoria, talk about blood

I feel extremely nauseous and like I'm gonna throw up because of my stupid ass period which only came back because I stopped taking T to save money for a little bit ughhh. Like I'm ok and il survive, I'll be taking T again in January, but still. This sucks and like...

Ok not trying to act like or say "oh no being a trans man is so much harder than being a cis woman blah blah blah" here, but I do just wanna saying having a period as a trans man just really sucks a lot. Not only do we have to deal with a period the same way a cis woman does; feeling sick, digestive system fucking up, the pain and cramps, mess and how it can make you feel really down, etc. but we also can have the whole gender dysphoria side of it as well which can absolutely get worse with the emotional stuff that happens during periods.

I feel very very depressed during my periods already, it's fucks with my already not great mental health and makes me think in darker places than I'd usually, but on top of that?? It makes gender dysphoria all around feel more extreme plus it causes gender dysphoria itself. The the other things about it also can cause gender dysphoria as well, so there's like. 3 added issues that come with my period purely because of gender dysphoria.

This doesn't even over the societal issues and how hard it is to be a trans man with a period when you're out and need to change your pad or tampon. I usually just don't and do it at home since I can luckily get away with that but there are so many trans man who can't do that and it suckks. No wonder so many trans men I know are on birth control, esp if they're pre t/ not planning on taking t.

Overall it just kind of sucks and it highlights, ironically, how different it is to be a trans man rather than a cis woman and is yet another example of how the terf argument "ooh but we have the same body so it's a shared issue" just really doesn't work and actively just erases all these issues and ignores the differences in our struggles; namely that it's just different both literally and socially to be perceived as a man who also had a period and who finds that everything about it causes a secondary, separate type of distress.

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

On gender euphoria in cis people. Sorry, long read!

I spent a lot of time in my late teens/early 20s questioning my gender. There were things about being in a "female" body that felt wrong, things that made me feel disconnected. I read a lot about the experiences of transmen and considered trying out different pronouns. But ultimately, I realized it wasn't for me. I did not want to transition, and I did not think I would be any happier as a man. I knew transmen and loved transmen, and spending time with them made me certain I was not trans. Their experiences and feelings were legitimate, which I understood in part because I didn't have them.

But I did go on hormones. Not the kind most people think of when they hear that, though. I got a hormonal IUD. It produced changes in my body, some subtle (my weight distribution seemed to shift so that i gained weight in my breasts and hips before my stomach, arms, and thighs), some not subtle (no periods, at all, full stop). And though it wasn't a really big change, it was enough to make me finally feel like me. I liked seeing my body in the mirror. I liked how I looked in feminine clothing. I felt like an adult woman and I loved it so, so much. I still do.

I talked to my mom about these changes, and about other issues I'd had relating to hormones and my body (I started puberty extremely young, about age 7). She informed me, with an alarming nonchalance, that I had always had a hormone imbalance: in her words, too much androgen and testosterone due to an overactive pituitary gland. For years I had felt wrong in my body because it felt like it wasn't my own from such a young age.

Cis women (and I imagine cis people in general) absolutely experience gender euphoria and for these people to claim we don't is disingenuous. The changes the IUD made to my body made it mine. I am so happy to be in the body I'm in now. It's not perfect, but it feels like mine because I took steps to make it better fit the woman I wanted to be. Transgender people should have every right to do the same. It was the narratives of trans people that helped me make sense of my own experiences, and I am forever grateful that they were able to share their stories with the world. I firmly believe there is no future for bodily autonomy if we do not include trans voices in its defense, and denying the commonality in our experiences serves only to make life worse for everyone.

Thank you for creating a space where people feel safe talking about their experiences with gender identity. Have a lovely night. ❤️

Of course! Thank you for sharing your experience with me ❤️

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

if you still think there's a patriarchy after hearing that boys and men have difficulty making it through life okay then just neck yourself already

I'm–

What?

Truthfully I only somewhat understood that, but the only way I can make sense of what you said is by assuming that you actually mean that I think boys and men face adversity BECAUSE of patriarchy and you think that's invalid/untrue? If that's the case, then have I got news for YOU anon-who-is-clearly-white-thanks-a-lot-for-making-that-obvious: boys and men DO face adversity BECAUSE of patriarchy, AND patriarchy makes their struggles even WORSE when it is compounded by racism, homophobia, transphobia, and disability. So not only does patriarchy DEFINITELY harm everyone, experiencing struggles (not necessarily discrimination, although that can happen, too!!! Thinking of Black boys and men in that regard, especially) due to patriarchy can be even more challenging for non-white, non-heterosexual, non-cis, and disabled folks. If you really think patriarchy doesn't make boys' and men's lives harder, it's because you're probably primarily thinking of cishet white boys and men, and shame on you for that. But I will add wish this wasn't necessary, but it's for you, anon that even white boys and men suffer because of patriarchy: FOR FUCKING FUCK'S SAKE if [white] boys and men in America weren't always shamed for crying or asking for help or generally treated like their problems didn't matter (but it's important to observe the ways white supremacy contributes to these ideas, as well, so I'm not just giving them a pass because 'they have issues'), MAYBE EVERY YEAR IN AMERICA WOULDN'T BE MORE DEADLY THAN THE LAST DUE TO MASS SHOOTINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, again, in that regard, white supremacy and the way it unites with patriarchy must be acknowledged when (in an attempt to improve the experiences that patriarchy corrupts) these issues are actually addressed. So to contend with examples like mass shootings in America, which are primarily carried out by white boys and men or accomplished on behalf of white supremacy and patriarchy, we must first recognize that these problems ARE diminished BECAUSE OF WHITE SUPREMACY AND PATRIARCHY. (And then the real work begins.)

But if you're not willing to recognize that, then all I have to say to you is: you've got work to do, and especially if you're white, MY DUDE YOU BETTER GET READY TO DO SOME CRITICAL THINKING AND SHIT BECAUSE I AM NOT LEAVING YOU BEHIND. This is OUR mess that is OUR responsibility to clean up, and if you give a damn about people AT ALL, you will follow along and help carry the load. I can only hope you do, even if you finally decide to do so because you realize that YOU wouldn't want to be left behind in this fucking mess, treated like shit. As in, "treat others the way you'd like to be treated," you know? Even if that has to be your wake-up call, fine. But don't think I'm letting you chicken out because the work is too hard. I don't care who you are; we can all do this work, and for our fellow human beings and ourselves, we deserve to do it. Period!

Anyway, if you have any more questions, ANON, I guess my inbox is open. Thanks.

[racebox-of-higgars]

i would like your whole stock of trans race hcs

Okay this I can do!! - he/they Race my beloved<3

It's trans Racetrack Higgins headcanons with Ezra hours, more commonly known as Ezra projects onto this poor boy for too long!

I digress. Let's get into this!

-He realises sorta late, around 10-11, just as they hit puberty

-He's always known something wasn't right but they never had the words to express it

-Being that little bit older, they know that not everyone will accept him for who he is, so he stays closeted for a while

-When he's 11 he comes out to their parents. He's not looking to make any drastic changes yet, he doesn't even have the right words for what they are yet, but he asks to cut his hair and change their name.

-His parents aren't accepting. They're passive-aggressive about it, and tell them that it's probably a phase and to wait a couple of years.

-Because of this, Race tries to force himself to be/act cis. He suddenly becomes a lot more feminine in the way they act, and he does this for about three years until it all becomes too much.

-At the end of this three years, he cuts their hair himself. Naturally, this angers his parents, but they say that it's just a new fashion trend and they reluctantly let it slide

-After this period, he tries a lot of labels, not entirely sure where he fits, they just know that he isn't a girl. After a few months he realises he's a trans man and comes out to his friends, telling them his new name and that he uses he/him pronouns. He's 16 at the time.

-Of course, all his friends are incredibly accepting and immediately switch to their new name and pronouns. They all chip in to buy him a binder, and they cry because they've never felt so loved

-After their friends acceptance, Race decides to try to come out to his parents again, which goes even worse that the first time, and Race considers going back into the closet for a while, but chooses not to.

-They struggle with body dysphoria most, mainly focused on his chest, voice, and hips. On bad days his friends come over with blankets and chocolates and they all watch his comfort movies together. It doesn't really help much, but it's better than nothing, and having them all there means he doesn't have to be alone with his thoughts

-Race is angry at the world for not being accepting, especially their family, and he feels hopeless because he can't seem to do anything about it. He ends up in a pretty dark place, and things get really tough for a long time, but he manages to push through it.

-After coming out and switching pronouns, he still feels like something is missing. He does some more research into different labels, and finds demiboy, and realises that that's what he's been looking for and that's what they are, and they change their pronouns to he/they, to which his friends are all very accepting. He still has a side of himself that is feminine/androgynous, and he realises he doesn't quite fit "man", and that demiboy describes who he is better

-He moves out at 18, as soon as he possibly can, and from there starts to transition as soon as possible, and they've never been happier than he was after doing that

-He doesn't talk to his parents after they move out. A few times they've tried to get in contact with him, but it's usually about how they don't support his transition, so he blocks them

-They don't want anyone else to feel the way he did growing up, so he creates an activism group online, and raises money to provide free trans essentials (i.e binders, breast pads, packers etc) to trans youth all over the world, and does his best to educate people about trans issues. While there are of course people that refuse to listen, they do their best. They also try to fund as many other people as possible to get them out of unaccepting homes or to fund surgeries or hrt. He starts this when they're 20, it starts gaining attention when they're 22

-He starts hrt at 21 with the help of the other newsies, and gets top surgery at 27. He documents it all online to show others the effects as well as to try to show that it doesn't have to be scary to anyone who might be afraid of the changes. They also document it to educate about lesser-known changes

-After hrt and top surgery he feels a lot more comfortable in himself and expression and he's able to start embracing his feminine side more, which he does in an effort to show that trans guys can still be feminine.

-Overall he just doesn't want other people to feel the same way he did and he aims to educate and help others to make sure that no one else has to go through that

I hope these are good, have a good day!

[jeannereames]

Hi, Dr. Reames! I just read your take on Song of Achilles and it got me thinking. Do you think there might be a general issue with the way women are written in mlm stories in general? Because I don't think it's the first time I've seen something like this happen.

And my next question is, could you delve further into this thing you mention about modern female authors writing women? How could we, beginner female writers, avoid falling into this awful representations of women in our writing?

Thank you for your time!

[It took a while to finish this because I wrote, re-wrote, and re-wrote it. Still not sure I like it, but I need to let it go. It could be 3xs as long.]

I’ll begin with the second half of the question, because it’s simpler. How do we, as women authors, avoid writing women in misogynistic ways?

Let me reframe that as how can we, as female authors, write negative (even quite nasty) female characters without falling into misogynistic tropes? Also, how can we write unsympathetic, but not necessarily “bad” female characters, without it turning misogynistic?

Because people are people, not genders, not all women are good, nor all men bad. Most of us are a mix. If we should avoid assuming powerful women are all bitches, by the same token, some women are bitches (powerful or not).

ALL good characterization comes down to MOTIVE. And careful characterization of minority characters involves fair REPRESENTATION. (Yes, women are a minority even if we’re 51% of the population.)

The question ANY author must ask: why am I making this female character a bitch? How does this characterization serve the larger plot and/or characterization? WHY is she acting this way?

Keep characters complex, even the “bad guys.” Should we choose to make a minority character a “bad guy,” we need to have a counter example—a real counter, not just a token who pops in briefly, then disappears. Yeah, maybe in an ideal world we could just let our characters “be,” but this isn’t an ideal world. Authors do have an audience. I’m a lot less inclined to assume stereotyping when we have various minority characters with different characterizations.

By the same token, however, don’t throw a novel against the wall if the first minority character is negative. Read further to decide if it’s a pattern. I’ve encountered reviews that slammed an author for stereotyping without the reader having finished the book. I’m thinking, “Uh…if you’d read fifty more pages….” Novels have a developmental arc. And if you’ve got a series, that, too, has a developmental arc. One can’t reach a conclusion about an author’s ultimate presentation/themes until having finished the book, or series.*

Returning to the first question, the appearance of misogyny depends not only on the author, but also on when she wrote, even why she’s writing. Authors who are concerned with matters such as theme and message are far more likely to think about such things than those who write for their own entertainment and that of others, which is more typical of Romance.

On average, Romance writers are a professionalized bunch. They have national and regional chapters of the Romance Writers of America (RWA), newsletters and workshops that discuss such matters as building plot tension, character dilemmas, show don’t tell, research tactics, etc. Yet until somewhat recently (early/mid 2010s), and a series of crises across several genres (not just Romance), treatment of minority groups hadn’t been in their cross-hairs. Now it is, with Romance publishers (and publishing houses more generally) picking up “sensitivity readers” in addition to the other editors who look at a book before its publication.

Yet sensitivity readers are hired to be sure lines like “chocolate love monkey” do not show up in a published novel. Yes, that really was used as an endearment for a black man in an M/M Romance, which (deservedly) got not just the author but the publishing house in all sorts of hot water. Yet misogyny, especially more subtle misogyny in the way of tropes, is rarely on the radar.

I should add that I wouldn’t categorize The Song of Achilles as an M/M historical Romance. In fact, I’m not sure what to call novels about myths, as myths don’t exist in actual historical periods. When should we set a novel about the Iliad? The Bronze Age, when Homer said it happened, or the Greek Dark Age, which is the culture Homer actually described? They’re pretty damn different. I’d probably call The Song of Achilles an historical fantasy, especially as mythical creatures are presented as real, like centaurs and god/desses.

Back to M/M Romance: I don’t have specific publishing stats, but it should surprise no one that (like most of the Romance genre), the vast bulk of authors of M/M Romance are women, often straight and/or bi- women. The running joke seems to be, If one hot man is good, two hot men together are better. 😉 Yes, there are also trans, non-binary and lesbian authors of M/M Romance, and of course, bi- and gay men who may write under their own name or a female pseudonym, but my understanding is that straight and bi- cis-women authors outnumber all of them.

Just being a woman, or even a person in a female body, does not protect that author from misogyny. And if she’s writing for fun, she may not be thinking a lot about what her story has to “say” in its subtext and motifs, even if she may be thinking quite hard about other aspects of story construction. This can be true of other genres as well (like historical fantasy).

What I have observed for at least some women authors is the unconscious adoption of popular tropes about women. Just as racism is systemic, so is sexism. We swim in it daily, and if one isn’t consciously considering how it affects us, we can buy into it by repeating negative ideas and acting in prescribed ways because that’s what we learned growing up. If writing in a symbol-heavy genre such as mythic-driven fantasy, it can be easy to let things slip by—even if they didn’t appear in the original myth, such as making Thetis hostile to Patroklos, the classic Bitchy Mother-in-Law archetype.

I see this sort of thing as “accidental” misogyny. Women authors repeat unkind tropes without really thinking them through because it fits their romantic vision. They may resent it and get defensive if the trope is pointed out. “Don’t harsh my squee!” We can dissect why these tropes persist, and to what degree they change across generations—but that would end up as a (probably controversial) book, not a blog entry. 😊

Yet there’s also subconscious defensive misogyny, and even conscious/semi-conscious misogyny.

Much debate/discussion has ensued regarding “Queen Bee Syndrome” in the workplace and whether it’s even a thing. I think it is, but not just for bosses. I also would argue that it’s more prevalent among certain age-groups, social demographics, and professions, which complicates recognizing it.

What is Queen Bee Syndrome? Broadly, when women get ahead at the expense of their female colleagues who they perceive as rivals, particularly in male-dominated fields, hinging on the notion that There Can Be Only One (woman). It arises from systemic sexism.

Yes, someone can be a Queen Bee even with one (or two) women buddies, or while claiming to be a feminist, supporting feminist causes, or writing feminist literature. I’ve met a few. What comes out of our mouths doesn’t necessarily jive with how we behave. And ticking all the boxes isn’t necessary if you’re ticking most of them. That said, being ambitious, or just an unpleasant boss/colleague—if its equal opportunity—does not a Queen Bee make. There must be gender unequal behavior involved.

What does any of that have to do with M/M fiction?

The author sees the women characters in her novel as rivals for the male protagonists. It gets worse if the women characters have some “ownership” of the men: mothers, sisters, former girlfriends/wives/lovers. I know that may sound a bit batty. You’re thinking, Um, aren’t these characters gay or at least bi- and involved with another man, plus—they’re fictional? Doesn’t matter. Call it fantasizing, authorial displacement, or gender-flipped authorial insert. We authors (and I include myself in this) can get rather territorial about our characters. We live in their heads and they live in ours for months on end, or in many cases, years. They’re real to us. Those who aren't authors often don’t quite get that aspect of being an author. So yes, sometimes a woman author acts like a Queen Bee to her women characters. This is hardly all, or even most, but it is one cause of creeping misogyny in M/M Romance.

Let’s turn to a related problem: women who want to be honorary men. While I view this as much more pronounced in prior generations, it’s by no means disappeared. Again, it’s a function of systemic sexism, but further along the misogyny line than Queen Bees. Most Queen Bees I’ve known act/react defensively, and many are (imo) emotionally insecure. It’s largely subconscious. More, they want to be THE woman, not an honorary man.

By contrast, women who want to be honorary men seem to be at least semi-conscious of their misogyny, even if they resist calling it that. These are women who, for the most part, dislike other women, regard most of “womankind” as either a problem or worthless, and think of themselves as having risen above their gender.

And NO, this is not necessarily religious—sometimes its specifically a-religious.

“I want to be an honorary man” women absolutely should NOT be conflated with butch lesbians, gender non-conformists, or frustrated FTMs. That plays right into myths the queer community has combated for decades. There’s a big difference between expressing one’s yang or being a trans man, and a desire to escape one’s womanhood or the company of other women. “Honorary men” women aren’t necessarily queer. I want to underscore that because the concrete example I’m about to give does happen to be queer.

I’ve talked before about Mary Renault’s problematic portrayal of women in her Greek novels (albeit her earlier hospital romances don’t show it as much). Her own recorded comments make it clear that she and her partner Julie Mullard didn’t want to be associated with other lesbians, or with women much at all. She was also born in 1905, living at a time when non-conforming women struggled. If extremely active in anti-apartheid movements in South Africa, Renault and Mullard were far less enthused by the Gay Rights Movement. Renault even criticized it, although she wrote back kindly to her gay fans.

The women in Renault’s Greek novels tend to be either bitches or helpless, reflecting popular male perceptions of women: both in ancient Greece and Renault’s own day. If we might argue she’s just being realistic, that ignores the fact one can write powerful women in historical novels and still keep it attitudinally accurate. June Rachuy Brindel, born in 1919, author of Ariadne and Phaedra, didn’t have the same problem, nor did Martha Rofheart, born in 1917, with My Name is Sappho. Brindel’s Ariadne is much more sympathetic than Renault’s (in The King Must Die).

Renault typically elevates (and identifies with) the “rational” male versus the “irrational” female. This isn’t just presenting how the Greeks viewed women; it reflects who she makes the heroes and villains in her books. Overall, “good” women are the compliant ones, and the compliant women are tertiary characters.

Women in earlier eras who were exceptional had to fight multiple layers of systemic misogyny. Some did feel they had to become honorary men in order to be taken seriously. I’d submit Renault bought into that, and it (unfortunately) shows in her fiction, as much as I admire other aspects of her novels.

So I think those are the three chief reasons we see women negatively portrayed in M/M Romance (or fiction more generally), despite being written by women authors.

------------------------------------

*Yeah, yeah, sometimes it’s such 2D, shallow, stereotypical presentation that I, as a reader, can conclude this author isn’t going to get any better. Also, the publication date might give me a clue. If I’m reading something published 50 years ago, casual misogyny or racism is probably not a surprise. If I don’t feel like dealing with that, I close the book and put it away.

But I do try to give the author a chance. I may skim ahead to see if things change, or at least suggest some sort of character development. This is even more the case with a series. Some series take a loooong view, and characters alter across several novels. Our instant-gratification world has made us impatient. Although by the same token, if one has to deal with racism or sexism constantly in the real world, one may not want to have to watch it unfold in a novel—even if it’s “fixed” later. If that’s you, put the book down and walk away. But I’d just suggest not writing a scathing review of a novel (or series) you haven’t finished. 😉

[ltleflrt]

So I was having a conversation on Discord about omegaverse tonight, and my brain won’t shut up about it, because as usual I come up with my arguments after the discussion is over.  I should have been asleep 3 hours ago, but it’s hot and I can’t unwind, so I’m going to stay up EVEN LATER while the a/c brings things down a few degrees, and I try to get these thoughts out of my head.

I was pro-omegaverse, and trying to explain why *I personally* like the genre, and why I think even with it’s problematic origins and frequently used elements, it’s still a cool genre.  I was essentially having 2 discussions, but they were both using my answers to their questions, even though I was usually addressing them 1 at a time.  That happens when you’re in a Discord chat, and I wasn’t @ing my answers to them, since we were all in the room together.  And I think that cunfuddled the discussion and my thoughts.  So here’s a breakdown.

Issue 1. Biological Essentialism is gross and rapey.

Answer:  Yes, it is.  But so what?  Some people like pure rape-fantasy.  Is it healthy?  That can be argued either way, and it definitely depends on the person writing, or the person reading.  People like gross and rapey stories to get their rocks off.  Whether we like non-con or not, rape fics should be allowed to exist because some people like it.  It doesn’t matter if I think their reasons are valid.  As long as they’re not actively trying to harm someone, let people get down and dirty with their rapey fantasies.

Also, the whole biological imperative to mate isn’t that far off from Soulmate AUs.  Truemates = Soulmates.  Whether we like Soulmate AUs or not, are we also arguing that they shouldn’t exist because they’re problematic?  No, we’re not.  Soulmate AUs are romantic for a lot of people.  Let people have their uncomplicated, fluffy, 1 Destined Love stories.

Something to keep in mind though, is that not all omegaverse fics use the true mate trope.  And quite a lot of fics have characters with a lot more self control during their mating cycles than what you’d find in the short smutty one shots.  It’s common for them to avoid each other during heats, and only share their mating cycle as an act of love, trust, and devotion.  After they’ve been dating for a while.  (I love it when the alpha brings over snacks and water for the omega, and immediately hightails it out of there once they get a whiff of their sexy love interest.  “Take care of yourself, text me when you feel better, loveyoubye! *nyoooom*”)

Issue 2. It’s transphobic.

Answer:  This one is harder to argue, because yeah.  It can be.  But so can non-omegaverse.  Transphobia is, unfortunately, everywhere.  Exploring human gender through non-human gendered beings isn’t a bad thing though.  Cis people should be allowed to explore those things too.  This is step 1 to fighting the Patriarchy.  Questioning it.  Someone may come out of the experience still cis, but they’re going to be more open minded to trans people.  Not to mention, all the trans and enby folks who probably figured themselves out through the gender exploration to be found in omegaverse.

Now, if someone’s into omegaverse and they tell you they won’t read a story about a trans character?  Red flag.

Personally, I like the gender exploration in omegaverse.  Not just in the hormonal stuff, although I do kinda love the idea of seeing cis male characters suffer cramps once a month lol... but I like the stuff about social inequality that women have to go through mapped onto a male character.

I brought this up in the chat, and my use of the term “women’s issues” raised a terfy flag I think, which upset me and made it harder to make my point.  Cuz if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s terfy.  But I do see women’s issues as also trans issues.  Trans Men are treated differently after they start to present as male.  There’s a marked difference between their treatment as a woman pre-transition, and as a man afterwards.  And they still have to be really careful about accidental pregnancy.  I cannot fathom how awful the dysphoria would be for them if they get pregnant.  Trans Women are treated horribly pre-transition if they give any hint of feminine interests.  There’s a reason “girly” is an insult, and it’s because Toxic Masculinity Is The Worst.  And then when they transition?  Hooooboy, gods bless those ladies because Trans Women are treated worse than Cis Women on the social pyramid.  And Enbies?  Oh you sweet things, how the hell do you deal with the rest of us bastards? 

When I say that I am interested in seeing the characters I like deal with women’s issues, I am talking about social inequality, not just periods and cramps (although that a little bit too, because I wish a cis man could just fucking UNDERSTAND why I need a goddamn nap okay? lol), but also sexual health rights, including birth control, including the right to choose whether or not to take hormones, the right to equal pay, the right to equal education.  Feminism, for me, includes trans and enby folks at the table. 

But anyway, the characters I like right now just happen to be men.  I see Dean as a man.  That could mean he’s a trans man too, because trans men are men, yo.  Castiel I see either as a man or non-binary.  So if I want to put them through “women’s issues”, I have to plunk them in a special universe for that.  No one is writing Matriarchy AUs, so Omegaverse it is!

(Side note: If my OTP were f/f, I’d still like omegaverse.  And I could see lots of interesting ways to use all those same tropes for 2 female presenting characters.  So it has nothing to do with genitalia.  Unless it’s smut.  But I swing all the ways, so still not an issue for me lol)

(Side note part deux: I like to read trans stories too.  They have unique things about them that cannot be found in stories about cis characters, even in omegaverse.  And when I see Dean and Cas as men or enby, I’m not putting down people who like them gender flipped.  I just see myself enjoying Trans Woman Claire dating Enby Kaia, more than I’d like to see Dean or Cas written as cis/trans-women.)

Issue 3.  Internalized misogyny!

Answer: This is an argument used against women shipping m/m in general, and has nothing to do with omegaverse.  It just so happens that omegaverse was created for m/m pairings.  But there are TONS of reasons we ship more m/m than any other pairings, ranging from those are the most interesting characters presented to us, to--yes--internalized misogyny.  But I’m tired of that one.  Internalized misogyny is rampant, and telling women that their fantasies are problematic isn’t going to cure them.  There’s better ways to go about it. 

Omegaverse now covers m/f and f/f pairings as well, sooooo... yeah, this one just doesn’t hold water like it used to.  We just need to yoink the media out of the hands of the cis-men who are mostly in charge, and make them give us more compelling women to ship.

Issue 4: That’s not how human bodies work.

Answer: They’re not human lol!  Okay but real talk here.  This issue actually sounds transphobic to me, because it strikes very close to the XX vs XY chromosomes argument.  Omegaverse characters have intersex variations.  Alpha females and Omega males can have both a penis and a vagina in some fics.  It depends on how the author wants to write it, of course.  I usually go with the (horrifying) cloaca for omega males, and the (hyena inspired) psueudo-penis for alpha females instead, but to each writer their own lol

But again... not human.  Let wet buttholes be a thing, lube is expensive and sometimes the bottle gets tangled in the sheets, and you have to stop what you’re doing to find it and... anyway, convenience in fantasy sex is nice lol

In Conclusion: 

Personally, I only like non-traditional omegaverse.  The stuff that subverts the “problematic” tropes.  I was asked what I liked about the genre, and when I explained, it devolved into discussion of the topics above.  But I think what was forgotten in that discussion, was that I kept saying I don’t like the “problematic” things.  I like flipping the tropes.  Which I like in general, when I’m looking for things to read.  I mean, how many Castiel Thinks He’s Straight fics are there?  Not many!  So I wrote one!  Because flipping tropes is my jam! 

I don’t like Soulmate AUs, but with the proper twist I can still enjoy it.  I don’t like Highschool AUs, but I’ve read some that touched me so deeply I still think of them years later.  There’s always someone subverting the tropes I don’t like and turning them into something I do like.

And yet even though I kept saying I liked the subversion of the genre, the discussion kept coming back around to the parts of omegaverse that I *don’t* like.  I will still defend anyone’s right to like the parts of it that aren’t for me though, so I argued away XD

And? Sometimes I like the dark problematic stuff when I’m in the mood to get my rocks off.  Don’t judge, you’re all a little weird in some way or another ;D

Anywho, now that I got this stuff off my chest, hopefully I can sleep.  It has also cooled down by like 4 degrees, and I no longer feel like I’m going to melt in my sleep.  Tomorrow is going to suck, because I have to get up in 5 hours.  Yay!

[jewishconvertthings]

Something I’ve noticed come up again and again in conversion-focused/prospective convert spaces is a fascination with orthodoxy. I think a lot of what drives this is the desire for universal recognition and to do things the “right” way. And, since Jews both inside and outside of orthodoxy tend to hold up orthodoxy as the gold standard for halacha and for conversion in particular, people who would never otherwise consider converting orthodox still end up seriously investigating the possibility and/or even attempting it. This becomes especially painful to watch when, for one reason or another (or several) the individual in question simply cannot convert orthodox without making life changes that are, frankly, not worth it or even impossible.

I say this as someone who absolutely, 100% went on this ride.

(This is a Very Long Post, so I’ve put it under a cut)

I am a queer non-binary person in a relationship with another queer non-binary person who is not Jewish and has no plans on converting. Now, at this point in my life, I present in a traditionally feminine way 98% of the time (and was assigned female at birth), the aspects of physical transition that I have accessed are not visible or are easily able to be masked, and for a number of extremely personal reasons I won’t get into here, I have also reached a point in my life where my ability to be attracted to cis men is not something that I automatically reject.

So on a pragmatic level, if I wanted to be orthodox I had two choices: (1) Stay with my partner who I love and have built a life and a home with, who supports my Jewish journey and observance 100%, who loves me no matter how I present myself gender-wise, and whose life experiences as a fellow queer non-binary person allow us to have a profound understanding of each other; or, (2) Leave my partner, and also most likely also make an effort to stamp out or at least conceal the queer and non-binary facets of myself.  

I think it’s pretty clear that I opted to not take path #2, which left me with the decision to either pursue a Conservative conversion or accept being a Noachide. Fortunately, I happened to already have a Conservative community that I really loved and three Conservative rabbis for my beit din, each of whom I tremendously respect. Therefore moving forward with a Conservative conversion did not cause me all that much cognitive dissonance. To be perfectly honest, all told, I think my theological framework fits better within Conservative halacha anyway and there is plenty of space for me to exist and be respected as a queer non-binary person with a non-Jewish spouse.

But despite what I feel is an overall very good outcome to this problem, I still went through a whole grieving process for letting go of the idea of ever converting orthodox, and looking back I felt it was really important to interrogate why. I could of course take the easy way out and say that it was because I was sad to lose this particular shul as my primary community, but that’s not completely true. I still go there sometimes and enjoy it when I do, and also by the time it became clear to me that this was not a community I could convert through, it was no longer my primary shul. I’d already switched.

I could also say that it was because I deeply desired living and sharing community with a congregation where the majority of members took halacha very seriously and lived by those convictions. While I have deep love and appreciation for my Conservative community, the reality is that I am in the minority as someone who keeps a strictly kosher kitchen and one of a handful of people who make much of an effort to be shomer Shabbos. At the same time, I have found and built friendships with those who do take a more traditional approach to observance who also share other values of mine as well. So I have ultimately ended up in the exact kind of community I desired, even if it isn’t the numeric majority of the congregation as a whole.

There was also a very real period where I needed to sort out my understanding of what I believed about what Torah even is, and how I wanted to build my Jewish observance from that understanding. (Namely, that even though I can never say that I believed with perfect faith that the Torah was given directly to Moshe by G-d on Mt. Sinai in its entirety and in fact believe that most of the evidence points away from that understanding, I also felt it was important to essentially accept it as an underlying assumption for interpretive and halachic purposes. I have . . . evolved a bit since then, but honestly haven’t moved too far from that position.)

The point is that there were actual, real reasons other than just for the validity.

But if I’m being extremely honest with myself, while it was far from being the only reason or the “real” reason, it was nevertheless a not-insignificant reason for why I was disappointed and felt a loss. I understand the other pieces pretty well at this point, and so with the benefit of time and some emotional distance, I decided to examine this a bit more deeply.

I think the problem is two-fold. First, I think that the same intense beliefs and emotions that drive someone to do something as drastic as converting to Judaism to begin with also create a desire to do so in the most intensive way possible. Amongst myself and the many other conversion students and converts I’ve met, irrespective of our many differences, our passion for Judaism and our enthusiasm in Jewish engagement are near-universals. For better or worse, that tends to manifest as a desire for a high level of observance and for a community that shares that commitment.

Second, I think that converts of whatever background, but especially those of us who are marginalized in other ways, tend to be under a great deal of scrutiny from the rest of the Jewish community as to our motives and our processes for becoming Jewish. While I don’t doubt that this is painful for anyone, this can hit especially hard if you have experienced some other kind of serious invalidation, erasure, and/or rejection in other areas of your life.

So I think, after having sat with this a bit, part of that feeling of hurt and loss comes as a sort of echo trauma from having been erased and rejected as a queer non-binary person. The invalidation I’ve received both outside and inside the queer/trans community has been significant enough that the idea of stomaching more rejection, more invalidation, and more treatment as an interloper was a tough pill to swallow. Combine that with my genuine passion for Judaism and desire for an observant Jewish life and community, and you had a perfect storm of me reaching for a community that was, all told, not a good fit.

I eventually moved past that stage, and ended up quite happy in my Conservative community. So what’s the problem? Why am I bringing up such a painful topic if it turned out fine?

Here’s the thing: I’d seen other people ride this emotional rodeo before and so while I anticipated these feelings of rejection, I was afraid of experiencing them and tried to avoid doing so by being hyper-aware of the possibility. It didn’t work. Unfortunately, this was just something I had to figure out on my own. However, there was another effect I’d seen as well, namely that once people had processed the immediate sadness, there was usually a bit of backlash afterwards. I saw this especially with a particular friend who regularly expressed not just legitimate criticisms of orthodoxy, but lashed out angrily towards anyone who expressed an interest in orthodoxy or who happened to be orthodox and talk positively about their experiences. This was serious enough that it almost ruined our friendship.

I did manage to mostly avoid this latter effect because I actively built relationships within my orthodox community and maintained them even afterwards, and because I refused to make that rejection a personal thing. I also gave myself ample space from that community and have only engaged to the extent that I can do so in a healthy, comfortable way. But it’s worth noting that despite controlling my outer reaction, I definitely had to process and work my way through that same anger internally.

I raise all of this for the following reason:

I haven’t seen anyone talking about this much, and what I have seen has not been constructive or compassionate. While I don’t think reading about my seemingly typical (even cliché) experiences as someone who was not a good fit for orthodoxy trying to shoehorn myself into it for understandable (but ultimately futile) reasons will spare anyone the emotional ride of having that experience, nor do I think it will likely help anyone avoid having to experience it themselves to be sure, I do think that it may help with a couple issues. First, I think it may help outsiders who have observed this trope have a bit more compassion for those going through it and be able to offer some better responses than derision or telling folks to just get over it. Basically, realize that these are growing pains, and try to be kind and mature about it.

Second, I think it may help people who are on the verge of going through that experience and/or who are in the middle of it to understand that it is A Thing, that it is not an inherently bad thing, that they are not bad people for having to go on this emotional journey, that it is reasonable for them to have hard feelings about it, and that the only thing they really do need to be careful of is how they treat the people in their communities and not take this out on them. Ultimately, if you are unable to convert orthodox for reasons outside your control (or even just realize that you inherently don’t have the right worldview for orthodoxy/have an actual desire to live an orthodox lifestyle) there are usually other ways of meeting your community and observance-related needs and it is best to start exploring them sooner rather than later.

Collectively, I think I would challenge conversion students and liberal converts who are considering an orthodox conversion to seriously consider if there are other ways to meet your spiritual and community needs. If so, why pursue orthodoxy? You really do need an honest answer to that question, even if it takes a bit of soul-searching to get there. If it’s about universal recognition, you need to stop immediately and reconsider. (Understand that there basically is no such thing. Then understand that this means that you will have to build an internal Jewish identity that is unrelated to how random people without community decision-making power view you.) Finally, I’d ask that you try really hard to separate the larger trends and systems within orthodoxy from individual Orthodox Jews you happen to encounter.

And of course, I would challenge folks to leave passing judgment on any given conversion student’s process and motivations up to their sponsoring rabbi.

[into-the-daniverse]

Why preaching constant positivity and acceptance can be/is harmful (in fandom and the “real world”)

Disclaimer: It is not my intention to equate fandom drama to real world issues that actually kill people everyday, but the underlying problems are the same, and real world examples just make better sense sometimes.

Also, I am a member of the LBGTQ+ community who is comfortable using the word “queer” to identify myself but others may not be and I respect that.

In, say, the past two decades or so, society has grown considerably more accepting and loving towards each other. And that’s great! But, the pendulum swung from “only people like me (white-cis-het) are worthy of love” to “everyone everywhere is amazing and worthy of love” alarmingly fast.

And the reason that this is a bad thing is that there are still a lot of steps that have to be taken before we can be solidly on that side of the social scale.

One of the steps that has to be taken before we can reach the utopian “everyone is deserving of love and to be free of judgement” is to recognize the struggle that marginalized groups are actually, currently, facing. Without recognizing that some groups of people do indeed, have it worse, it is extremely insulting to preach love and acceptance just for your own comfort.

And “comfort” is the key problem here. Too many people just want to be “comfortable” and to avoid drama. On one hand, I get it, and taking care of your own mental health should always come first if you are constantly in a negative space. But you should not do so at the expense of ignoring and drowning out the voices of marginalized people.

All Lives Matter. I don’t “see” color. But what about “straight” pride? I haven’t experienced _ so it can’t still be happening.

These are all similar statements that serve the same purpose: to downplay and belittle the real issues that they are parodying.

Yes, “all” lives matter, but not all lives are in danger right now. Yes, not “seeing color” would be an ideal, but doing so in this day and age means you are actively choosing to ignore the issues that people of color face. And until you spend years of your life, decades, generations, unable to live as who you are without fear of prejudice (at best) or being killed (at worst), “straight” pride does not need to exist.

I am a White Hispanic who grew up in a white family with white privilege and have never felt discriminated against because of my Hispanic blood. As such, I can’t speak for people of color, (Hispanic, black, etc.) because I will never be able to understand what they’ve gone through. However, I am a queer woman who has faced bigotry and discrimination from being as such, so I can speak on queer issues. (Which is not to say I should be the only voice speaking—because other LGBTQ+ people have wildly varying experiences from mine—this is just a “not to worry, I have a permit” disclaimer.)

Cisgender and/or Heterosexual people do not face oppression anywhere, period. You will not be turned away from a job, from getting married, buying a house, raising kids, etc. because of your gender or sexuality. You will not be called slurs, be beat up, or killed because of your gender or sexuality. Maybe you’ll have some uncomfortable situations, where a queer person just doesn’t like you because of your gender or sexuality, but we are not at a place in society where that can be actually harmful and impactful on your life in the same way it would be for a queer person.

Society everywhere still preaches cisgendered heterosexuality as the “norm.” Yes, it’s getting better, but overall it is still the stifling everyday normality that you see in ads, tv shows, movies, books, etc. You don’t have to comb through the internet to try and find a “good” straight book to read, or flip through the same 10 straight movies, the world is monopolized for you already. I’m sorry if you’ve dealt with some uncomfortable scenarios due to being straight, but you have a world of comfort to fall back on that queer people just don’t have.

Another problem that the “everyone deserves love” / “just let people do what they want” rhetoric creates is that it supplies a faux “safe space” for people to promote hurtful ideologies towards other marginalized groups. People making racist stereotyped OCs, homophobic/transphobic commentaries, etc., all get passes under the statement “let people do what they want” and others will jump to their aid the moment they get called out on their behavior so to “keep the peace.”

Instead of letting everyone “do what they want” we need to hold others accountable when they mess up, and, in turn, listen to others when we mess up. I am not perfect, and I am sure I’ve accidentally promoted harmful ideologies towards other marginalized groups in the past, but I listen when they are speaking and adjust my actions and thoughts accordingly.

Coming back to the idea of “comfort,” if you have a queer friend who is okay with you using the f-slur but a scores of people who are not okay with it, and you listen to your friend? That’s insensitive at best and purposefully hateful at worst.

Part of listening to marginalized people is listening to people outside of your own circle to make sure that you are understanding the whole problem (or as much of it as possible) instead of one person’s take on it. Just as I do not speak for the entire queer community, your token friend of color doesn’t speak for their entire community as well, and it is likely that they may be trying to appease you as their friend by saying something isn’t as serious as the “other people” in their group are making it. If any action of yours causes strife or pain to any other member of marginalized groups, it is worth reconsidering and researching.

This is more than I thought I would write but:

TLDR; Until marginalized people’s problems are recognized, we can’t preach for “everyone deserves the same love and acceptance.” And saying “let people do what they want” opens the floor to harmful, hateful voices. We’re not at the point that both of these statements deserve to be thrown around as much as they are, but we can work to get there.

And while we should not expect marginalized people to constantly call out these issues, I am promoting myself as someone whose DMs are always open and I will always try to explain issues to the best of my ability without speaking over others.

[panaceand30]

Autism and Periods

[Alt text: A set of twitter screencaps from twitter user ItsEmilyKaty talking about autism and periods.]

Transcription: Let's talk about autism and periods. - a thread.

There is little research on the experiences of autistic people and periods, likely due to the narrative still being heavily focused on cis autistic boys and autistic men. However, we know that periods can be harder for autistic people, so we must have this conversation.

Sensory issues can be a huge difficulty for autistic people managing periods. Many report that existing sensory difficulties are worse at this time, rendering them even more hypersensitive to noise, taste, smell, which can provide more barriers to managing day to day life.

Additional sensory difficulties which come with periods make this even harder to manage. For example, period products can be hard to use and manage, and the sensory issues from physical pain as well as nausea and other physical side-effects, can make this time unbearable.

Autistic people tend to struggle with executive functioning. This means knowing what you need to do and how to do this. For a young autistic especially, this can be really hard when managing periods. Remembering to carry period products and to change them is hard.

@robyn_steward: “While most people end up learning how to put a pad on when they get a period, autistic people often need to practice before. For them, it’s not just about learning to do something new; it’s also all the sensory experiences, the noises, the sounds, the smells.”

Self-regulation and managing emotions is made a lot harder. We can find it hard to recognise our emotions, to understand them, and to manage them, and our periods exacerbate this, which can lead to meltdowns, self-harm and complete exhaustion.

Mood swings are a difficult one too. It can take us longer to self-regulate and return to a baseline, so when our emotions are all over the place and we are dealing with the normal stuff autistic people find hard to cope with, and our period, this is an absolute nightmare.

Some evidence suggests that autistic women are more likely to experience very painful and heavy periods, issues with menstrual hygiene, severe PMS and worse mood/behavioural changes. We need more understanding of this, because it can really affect our life.

Autistic people struggle with change and uncertainty. To suddenly come on your period, which may cause you to cancel plans or commitments due to being in pain and overwhelmed, can lead to meltdowns and high anxiety.

For an autistic child, starting their period can be very overwhelming. They may need extra support and patience in knowing and understanding what is happening. If they start their period without a clear understanding of what they should do & who to turn to, this can be worse.

Clear communication and explanations are needed, without euphemisms and without brushing over the subject. An autistic child needs to know exactly what to expect, what to do if they're at school, what it will look like and what it may feel like.

@robyn_steward: "Autistic people only really work with the information that they’re given. If up to that point, the only time they’ve seen blood is when they have fallen over or if they’ve been ill, they will associate blood with being broken or damaged in some way”.

There is some evidence and discussion that autistic girls start puberty and periods earlier than non-autistic girls. If you are autistic or parenting an autistic child, the @AutisticGirls_ facebook page has some helpful discussions related to this, and you can seek advice.

This book by @robyn_steward, 'The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods' is amazing. I wish I had this book when I was younger. It's for people aged 9+, with advice on sensory issues, managing hygiene and pain and step by step photo guides on using different period products.

[Alt text: An image of the book cover of "The Autism-Friendly Guide to Periods". The book is coloured dark grey, with several blue circles dotted around the title. In the blue circles are various cartoonishly drawn woman of different ethnicities and looks all smiling. The book title is centered on the page in a pale blue font. The aurthor's name, Robyn Steward, is dark blue on a white background, with a small cartoonish UFO over the first letter R.]

Transcription continues: Sources:

https://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6223765/ https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/30/periods-can-be-overwhelming-if-you-have-autism-so-ive-created-a-step-by-step-guide-8857085/ https://autism.org/early-puberty-a-common-finding-in-girls-with-asd/ https://autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/menstruation https://menstrual-matters.com/autism/

So maybe this is old news to everyone else, but it literally blew my mind yesterday when Troll recommended I read this.

I knew my periods affected my CFS/ME, sure, but my autism? I literally NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED THAT and holy crap. It makes so much sense suddenly.

[defeatedbyamerechild]

Still not going to be posting for a while, but I had some Pokémon-related questions for you ^^

1) Not sure if you’re still doing the ship ratings, but what do you think of Giovanni x Cyrus? I go back and forth between them being in a relationship or Cyrus being ace…

2) I also have been thinking about trans Ghetsis and Colress… I was curious, how would a (pre-op) man prevent menstruation? In my headcannon, if either one of them were trans, both wouldn’t be able to get surgery.

Thanks uwu

---

Hello! I had stopped the ratings, with grades and all, but I don’t see any problem in commenting what you sent me. So let me see...

1) About Cyrus and Giovanni, I used to like that ship a bit more in the past, but I kinda grew tired of it, I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never actually shipped them, it’s never been too attractive for me, but there was a period of time when I thought it was rather cute. Now I feel pretty neutral, if not a bit negative about it. I can’t quite explain though, I think it’s because of how I have developped both the characters in my comics. Still it’s not like I would complain about people who ship them or whatever, I’ve seen some really cute pictures of them and really nice headcanons of them before. I’ve nothing against it, it’s just a ship that I don’t think I would be able to make work nowadays. About Cyrus being ace, it’s the headcanon that I’ve chosen for him in my comics. Aromantic and Asexual. Still, I’m also open to other headcanons for him. Gay Cyrus, straight Cyrus, demisexual Cyrus, aromantic but not ace, or ace but not aro... biromantic and gray-ace. There are thousands od possibilities  in terms of romanticism and sexuality for him, whatever you feel like working with will be fine. If you would like to have an ace Cyrus in a relationship with Gio, you can have him be, let’s say, demiromantic and gray-ace... Or homoromantic and asexual. Or demiromantic demisexual. There are ways to make that happen without having to completely discart the ace spectrum from his character. :) Also, nothing wrong with playing with two headcanons at the same time. Two different au’s maybe... Recently, I’ve become more interested on the idea of shipping Cyrus with Lysandre. This would never happen in my comics and is totally impossible in this headcanon, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think of what it would be like in a different hc, nd even write about it if I ever feel like it. ^^ 2) About trans Ghetsis and Colress, that’s great! All trans headcanons are valid. Actually, a while back, I thought about an intersex Ghetsis (More specifically, Ghetsis finding out he actually has ovaries and that he’s intersex and never knew it, and that helping him become less sexist and lgbtq-phobic). I don’t think it’s going to happen in my comics in reality, but it was interesting to think of. Anyway... About the period question, as a cis woman, I feel like I don’t really have the authority to talk about this in details... You should try to find some trans-focused blogs that could answer your questions. I did some research for writing my trans Piers, though, so I can try to say a few things... First, sadly, it seems like menstruation is not discussed a lot for men, which sucks, so it’s not that easy to find out info on that. Another consequence of that is, most of the things I saw were dysphoric men talking about how much period hurt them emotionally and psychologically, because it made their dysphoria much worse. I know it’s a huge issue for many trans men, as well as some NBs of course. Still, some trans man that don’t experience dysphoria have nearly just the same amount of discomfort as a women. No women likes having periods, we know that, so naturally no trans men like it either. But some can deal with it without getting dysphoric feelings. If you want to talk about period in a trans man’s life, there are many aspects of it that you can try to include. Many trans men I saw on the Internet talked about how they hated having to change their pads in a male bathroom, and how they had to hide pads or cups, and how much they feared having leaks in public. Many of them talked about incresed symptoms of other psychological conditions such as depression, nd suicidal thoughts related to “feeling like a woman despite knowing they are not” or like their bodies were trying to go against their minds. Well, you talk about “pre-op” men, that is, men who intend to have surgery at some point, but haven’t managed to yet. Still, surgery is not mandatory to stop having periods (although, of course, removing the person’s womb will do the trick). From what I’ve searched, you can stop periods with hormonal treatment. It takes a bit of a while for the periods to stop, since changes happen slowly, but eventually the bleeding stops. So yeah, not sure if you’re going to work with dysphoric men here or not, but you can headcanon that they take hormones and don’t have periods, or that they don’t take hormones and still have periods but that makes them dysphoric... Or, like my Piers, they don’t take hormones and have periods, but that doesn’t make them dysphoric. They can be pre-op, but haven’t got money for it yet, or are not ready yet, or whatever other reason for not doing it now, or they can be non-op, like my Piers, that is, trans men who don’t intend to ever have the surgery, even thought they identify as male. Basically, yeah, some men have periods and not all of them plan on making periods stop for good at some point, but that doesn’t mean they are less of a man. Well, that’s all I know from what I’ve researched on trans men and periods, I really wish there was more info about this subject, but I guess there’s still kind of a taboo around it, even for cis women, in fact. Anyway, if you want to know more about trans men dealing with periods, you should try looking for trans-themed blogs, some of them will surely answer asks on the matter. ^^

Also, any trans person that follows me and wants to contribute to this discussion, please do tell your experiences and all you know about it! (if you feel comfortable too, naturally!) I know that no one can talk about this better than trans men themselves, and I definitely would love to hear from you guys what it’s like dealing with that kind of thing. :) Not only it will help me with my headcanons for Piers, but also will happen many other artists and writers that want to work with trans characters, and may also help younger trans men who haven’t dealt with this yet. ^^ Feel free to submit, reblog and comment here, and please do correct me if I said anything wrong. :) 

[kaaras-adaar-a]

Kaaras + Lingerie/Crossdressing

// I wanted to go more in depth about Kaaras and cross dressing in the bedroom. I had a big post about Kaaras and lingerie specific, but I can no longer find it.  First of all, that’s what I want to make clear: this is not something Kaaras does outside of the bedroom, this isn’t something that Kaaras does on a daily basis, it IS a sexual thing. It is something that causes and stirs sexual arousal out of him, not something that he would do on a day to day basis. 

Under a cut for obvious reasons. 

Cross dressing for Kaaras has nothing to do with identity. He is a cis male. Whilst he’s exceptionally open minded about those who are not cis, Kaaras does consider himself a male and identifies as a man, but he is also very aware of his femininity and need to feel soft. He’s comfortable with his masculinity, and if people were to insult him and call him a “girl” in some kind derogatory way, he’d not be offended. Kaaras believes women are equal to men and should be seen as such. He grew up with women, knows that they can be strong willed and physically strong and adept as well. He does not see softness as “only feminine” nor does he see hardness as “only masculine”. He believes people are PEOPLE, and all that gender stereotype bullshit is exactly that: bullshit. It’s not important to him and he doesn’t really care to think about it (except for equality of course).

However, you do also have to remember that Kaaras grew up around certain ideas and ideals. Even as a sheltered individual, he was subject to Fereldan culture and human customs. That does include certain dress codes.

There’s a vague line between this, because in medieval periods (such as Thedas), things like robes, peasant clothes, frocks and tunics are pretty unisex. This is why it doesn’t really extend to things like that. Kaaras grew up wearing peasant clothes, which were generally a dress. One long item of clothing tied off at the waist (I also have a post about kilt wearing, too, but I’m not going to go into that here). 

Kaaras’ cross dressing is lingerie/undergarment specific. These are clothes that are exclusive to women in a general understanding. These are items specifically labelled for women, because they are shaped for their bodies (underwear, stockings, bras, corsets etc). The idea is to show femininity, to capture it and make one feel, well... ultimately sexy.  

This was something Kaaras found out at a young age. When his father died, he was the only male of the household, between his mother, his adopted younger sister and his mentor. This was an exceptionally difficult time for Kaaras because he was just blooming into his teenage years (his father died when he was 12). It means Kaaras had a really difficult time coming to terms with his body, because he felt different from the women around him. He felt like they wouldn’t understand him, and ultimately, this was when Kaaras began to close himself off to his mother a lot. He began to feel uncomfortable and insecure about himself because he didn’t have any male influence anymore. He already lacked in friends because of him being a qunari, so he really didn’t have anyone to help him discover himself until a later age (that’ll be left for a different post that will go into Kaaras and his alcoholism). 

Like a lot of curious children, it did mean Kaaras would sneak into his parent’s room to rummage through the cliches of makeup and underwear. That’s pretty much how Kaaras found out he enjoyed wearing womens clothes. It was innocent enough at first, of course, he was young and not really sexually matured. But it was the foundation of where this ‘kink’ came from. 

As an older teenager, Kaaras began to realise that this stirred sexual arousal in him. Especially when he was involved with female lovers for the night. Being drunk gave him the confidence to fool around more, to explore and discover himself without being embarrassed about it. Most of Kaaras’ sexual experience, is, unfortunately, based off many drunk nights--until his past lover. That was when Kaaras REALLY got to explore and discover himself. 

Kaaras is a complicated personal when it comes to much about him. He’s simple and yet not in many ways. His sexuality is a long, long road of self discovery, pain and chaos, and that’s not all due to the fact that he suffers PGAD (PSAS). There are a lot of contributing factors that one may never think about when they see Kaaras as the man he has grown to become now.

Wearing women’s clothes became something of a dirty little secret that he has been very ashamed to speak about and express, because he had in his head the idea that it is not ‘normal’ for him to enjoy it. Kaaras is a hypocrite in the fact that he is so open and willing to accept OTHERS but never HIMSELF, because he’s grown up with so much self hatred and such a NEGATIVE image of himself, so these are all things that make him feel even worse about himself in the eye of the public.

But lingerie, dressing in women’s underthings, makes him feel gracious, makes him have this idea of soft, makes femininity that he can finally see and feel in himself that no one else can and/or will. This isn’t something he will open up about to just anyone, this is something that he will only expose to someone he trusts will accept him (and even then, he has a lot of fear and shame in the whole thing). This also doesn’t mean Kaaras doesn’t think men can be feminine and beautiful, he does, remember, he just has a lot of internal hate towards himself, and being told that he is an ugly savage oxman all his life doesn’t help with his image issues. Kaaras is a very insecure person, crippling so at times. But his clothes? They speak for him. And that doesn’t just mean the lingerie in the bedroom, but clothes in general help Kaaras EXPRESS himself. They always have. They make him feel stronger, they make him feel professional when needed, they make him feel practical. He often does not make his suffering known, or even his happiness at times, but his clothes are a form of expression for him, which is one of the reasons why he very much agrees with Vivienne that they should LOOK the part if people wish to take them seriously, despite him being a commoner. 

Lastly, I should mention while Kaaras certainly enjoys others wearing lingerie in the bedroom, this kink may never involve them. This is something he does for himself, and does not need or require someone else to be involved. If your muse is willing, then that’s certainly great! He would love to be able to express himself and feel sensual in the bedroom with his lover, it’s a real bonus to have that support and care, but Kaaras also is very used to the fact that this is a solo act. Something he enjoys doing in the comfort of his own self.

At the end of the day, this is not something easy for Kaaras. This is something that’s come from a background of confusion, self hate and being sheltered. Even if Kaaras has an exceptionally supportive family, Kaaras struggled to express himself and open up once his father died, shutting his mother out of a lot of his life. His sister only knows by accident, and his mother has only suspected, but does not push her son to speak what he is not comfortable with. When/if she finds out, she would be willing to make Kaaras the most beautiful crossdresser because she’s so supportive of her children. 

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #238

Tues May 05 2020 [02:04 AM] Wack'd: Have some Wolverine publicity

[02:05 AM] maxwellelvis: It BEGINS [02:06 AM] maxwellelvis: THERE's the John Byrne we know and... sigh because the guy who comes up with great covers like these is still the guy who sabotaged Jean Grey's spinoff attempt. [02:06 AM] Wack'd: John Bryne: fun dude but still a friggin dude [02:07 AM] Wack'd: So here we go. The secret story of Frankie Raye [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Turns out this is naturally what she looks like naked, plus a spiffy pair of elbow-length gold gloves

[02:08 AM] Bocaj: He didn't notice the gold gloves at any point? [02:08 AM] Wack'd: All this stuff just...vanishes when she puts clothes on [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Yeah no Johnny is like "I've seen you in a bikini" and she puts her robe back on and the gold clothes vanish [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "My terrible secret is that I'm a never nude" [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "There are dozens of us. Dozens" [02:09 AM] Wack'd: I understood that reference [02:09 AM] Wack'd: So anyway Frankie has been somehow psychologically conditioned to never notice that a superhero outfit appears on her whenever she's naked [02:10 AM] Wack'd: As well as not to think too hard about the fact that she has no memories before age 14 [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Uh. [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Well y'know what fair enough. I try not to think about that stretch of time either [02:11 AM] Wack'd: Her earliest memory is waking up in a dingy warehouse under an old labcoat [02:11 AM] Wack'd: She lived alone in a deserted apartment and got checks for a thousand bucks in the mail every week [02:11 AM] Wack'd: And was psychologically conditioned not to think about how off-spec that was for a teenager as well [02:12 AM] Wack'd: A lot of nonsense here resting on, essentially, a Somebody Else's Problem Field [02:12 AM] Wack'd: Whoever set all this up probably would've had a lot easier of a time if they just...gave her a normal life? [02:12 AM] Bocaj: I feel that however this explains her fear of fire from earlier on, this cannot have been what the original plan was even a little [02:13 AM] Wack'd: Anyway somehow meeting Johnny started to make the conditioning decay [02:13 AM] Wack'd: She freaked out when Johnny flamed on because it made her think too hard about things, but she was attracted to him in part because of that [02:14 AM] Bocaj: uh [02:14 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny pushes her to explore this whole ordeal further, because she feels like the dam is finally about to break [02:14 AM] Bocaj: I have a dumb thought [02:14 AM] Wack'd: And break it does

[02:14 AM] Bocaj: She was completely naked in that- HOLY BEANS [02:15 AM] Bocaj: she was completely naked in that scene where she had the breakdown in that other issue and she didn't get the gold booties there [02:15 AM] Wack'd: She didn't but also because up until that point she was Somebody Else's Probemed into not seeing them, remember? [02:15 AM] Wack'd: And so we the audience didn't either [02:16 AM] maxwellelvis: Like the clown graffiti all over John's house [02:16 AM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his fire absorption powers to keep the building from burning down and gives chase [02:18 AM] Wack'd: He catches up to Frankie and gives her a crash course in steering and pacing herself before she and her new ecstasy for life burns down New York [02:18 AM] Wack'd: And she explains Frankie Backstory 2.0 [02:19 AM] Wack'd: She was raised by a simple repairman, a good man, who suddenly lost his friggin composure when the Fantastic Four arrived [02:19 AM] Wack'd: Ranting about how dare Johnny call himself the Human Torch, he dragged her to an old warehouse and began raving about old experiments [02:20 AM] Wack'd: Frankie humors him for a bit but while carrying an old oil drum it bursts into flames, leaving her miraculously unharmed [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Simple repairman has a point. Kind of rude, Johnny [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Jim was a war hero, ya dink [02:21 AM] Wack'd: And then dear old stepdad hypnotized her and abandoned her [02:21 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:22 AM] Wack'd: A year later a package arrived with a tape recorder and a gold costume. The tape recorder hypnotized her into putting on the costume and then erased her memories [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: What a drip [02:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway from all this Johnny deduces her stepdad was Phineas Horton [02:22 AM] Wack'd: But you guys already figured that out, I bet [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: I forgot who he was. [02:23 AM] Wack'd: Jim Hammond's dad [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh [02:24 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny decides to become her mentor and, after she tries to fly as high as possible and runs into that pesky atmosphere problem, takes her back to the Baxter to have Reed run some tests and figure out what her limits are [02:24 AM] Bocaj: I'm for once not sad that Ultron killed him after forcing him to turn the original human torch into the Vision [02:25 AM] Bocaj: Until Byrne retcons that to not be the case because dude loves him some jim hammond [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Anyway I misremembered what Frankie's deal was. I assumed android [02:26 AM] Wack'd: But Reed thinks that whatever was in that fateful oil drum was some sort of superscience chemical that mutated her [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Not sure what the point of her being a nevernude was [02:27 AM] Wack'd: Or why Phineas Horton brainwashed his fourteen year old daughter into wearing a strapless bathing suit at all times [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: The guy labeled Jim a renegade when he showed the first signs of not being completely under his command [02:28 AM] Wack'd: It sure is a good thing this teenager with no parental guidance never did anything where that bathing suit might've become a problem! [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: guy's a drip [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Reed has proven his hypothesis that biological sex determines how flame powers work I guess??!?!?

[02:29 AM] Wack'd: What sort of cis nonsense is this [02:30 AM] maxwellelvis: Johnny speaks for us all [02:30 AM] Wack'd: What all that means is "after a period of suitable training, we may be calling our friends at Marvel Comics and telling them to start publishing the Fantastic Five!" [02:31 AM] Bocaj: This is a thing that marvel does sometimes [02:31 AM] Wack'd: Good news for all those Spider-Girl fans I guess [02:31 AM] Bocaj: They've decided that Laura Kinney's foot claw is what girl wolverines be like [02:31 AM] Wack'd: *sigh* [02:33 AM] Bocaj: I'll say that Spider-Girl did it better by not saying, as far as I recall, that the difference was because man vs woman. [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Okay so we have another story in this issue [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Well, two, kind of [02:35 AM] Wack'd: First a brief interlude in which it is established at some point the Four will be going to the tiny town of Benson, Arizona to investigate cases of people being "frightened to death" [02:36 AM] maxwellelvis: @Wack'd My primary suspect is this man [02:37 AM] Bocaj: Put those tingles away [02:37 AM] Wack'd: Here's a Sue pinup which I'm mostly crossposting to see if I can wrangle a coherent set of interests out of her bookshelf

[02:38 AM] Wack'd: Pogo's on there. Sue has good taste in comics [02:38 AM] Bocaj: I was about to say [02:38 AM] Wack'd: And now on to our second feature [02:38 AM] maxwellelvis: She's got a copy of Shogun in there [02:39 AM] maxwellelvis: Dangerous Visions, a sci-fi anthology [02:39 AM] Wack'd: Meet Crow T. Rob--I mean, HERBIE 2.0

[02:40 AM] maxwellelvis: "You listen to me, 'Mr. Fantastic', you are NOT my real father!" [02:40 AM] Wack'd: "I want to decide who lives and who dies!" "So long as Franklin is in the 'lives' category I'm strangely okay with that" [02:41 AM] maxwellelvis: "Hey, Franklin, the secret word for today is 'booger'! Booger booger booger booger-AAAUGH!" [02:41 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this is not the only surprise Reed has in store today! [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He also has A Cure for Being the Thing Number Fucktillion [02:42 AM] Bocaj: Panel 2 Franklin does not look like a child [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He looks like a 1950s Western bit player [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: "Oh great, another cure! How does this one work, and where can I hide when it backfires?" [02:43 AM] Wack'd: Ben is skeptical but as Reed points out science is always marching on [02:44 AM] Wack'd: He has more data than he's ever had [02:44 AM] Wack'd: Ben you've never asked her that before because it's literally never come up before. Fuck she's dated you while you were cured! Remember when you were riding around in that robot suit?

[02:45 AM] Wack'd: Anyway [02:45 AM] Wack'd: The machine blows up [02:46 AM] Wack'd: Welp

[02:47 AM] Bocaj: Could be worse [02:47 AM] Bocaj: At least its not pinecone grimm [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh that's coming [02:47 AM] Wack'd: Could be covered in bees. That'd be pretty bad [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Not for Ben it wouldn't. [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Unless they flew into his mouth. [02:47 AM] Bocaj: "Hahah sting you fuckers" [02:48 AM] Bocaj: "This time it is permanent!" Reed shut up [02:48 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this sure is weird nostalgia baiting [02:49 AM] Wack'd: Folks have done plenty of Lee/Kirby throwback stuff but was anyone nostalgic for this, like, at all [02:50 AM] Wack'd: Also like. C'mon Bryne, integrate your story developments naturally. You shouldn't need an entire issue where all that happens is status quo changes [02:50 AM] maxwellelvis: @Bocaj You might know, had Byrne ever written a comic book before his FF run? [02:51 AM] Wack'd: I guess Frankie was integrated a little naturally (even if she went from recent love interest to team member in no time flat) but the Ben is fairly hamfisted [02:51 AM] Wack'd: You can just check Marvel Wiki [02:51 AM] Bocaj: He co-plotted with Claremont I know [02:51 AM] Bocaj: And Claremont was big on the idea of co-plotting. [02:51 AM] maxwellelvis: But this would be his first, like, his first time flying solo? [02:52 AM] Wack'd: Dude has a lot of X-Men credits and some Captain Americas [02:52 AM] Bocaj: His first writing credit was on Iron Fist apparently [02:52 AM] Bocaj: at Marvel [02:54 AM] Bocaj: But from a skim of wikipedia fantastic four was his first extended solo writing thing