#i have in here (sorry the tag cut off weirdly lol) but I want people to take away their own meaning!!

[jackrrabbit]

Sidekick /// Dabi x f!Reader x Shigaraki (18+)

Summary: During a rescue gone wrong, a rookie sidekick catches the attention of two villains.

A/N: Thanks for 1k followers!! This is the fic that made me create a smut blog/lowkey inspired this. imho this might be the spiciest thing I’ve ever written 😳 also wanted to call out @kazooli​ because this is highkey inspired by her lol thanks queen

Tags/warnings: quirk kink, reader’s quirk makes other quirks stronger, noncon, threesome, lots of foreplay, outdoor sex, mild overstimulation, degradation, mild violence, threats, chronological/temporal inaccuracies, fucking long

You can hardly be blamed for not recognizing them. It’s only been three weeks since you debuted as a pro, and you’re not even really a hero. You’re a sidekick, and apparently you’re not important enough to have been briefed on the major villains you need to look out for. You’re just…doing your duty. Rescuing civilians indiscriminately. Stupid, naive little sidekick. It’s not your fault that the lives you just saved belong to the two most notorious villains around.

Still, Shigaraki can’t wait to see the look on your face when you find out.

///

The disaster you ‘rescue’ them from—the League’s bar crashing down, the result of a small-time villain’s poisonous gas quirk—isn’t even a disaster. It’s a minor annoyance, sure, but Shigaraki and Dabi would have been fine without you…even though both of them missed Kurogiri’s warp gate and ended up trapped under a wooden beam in the wreckage of the building… Okay, it’s more than a minor annoyance. Shigaraki hacks violently as the cloud of foul-smelling steam and powdered debris enters his lungs. The poisonous quirk doesn’t seem to be having the same acid-burn effects on his body as it did on the building, but he can’t assume it’s harmless.

Father… Shigaraki took Father off his face to drink at the bar earlier before the gas hit, and now in the confusion the severed hand is either buried underneath the rubble that used to be the League’s main base or somewhere else out of view. “Father? Father!” Shigaraki calls out, attempting to shift under the crushing weight of the beam.

“Shut up,” Dabi says from somewhere to Shigaraki’s left. “Kurogiri took it in one of the portals, I saw it.” He looks worse than Shigaraki feels—something hit him in the face as the bar collapsed, and a few of the staples (piercings? stitches? whatever) on his right cheek are torn open and bleeding.

“Are you lying to me?”

Dabi sneers and rolls his eyes. “Let’s just get out of here.” His palms glow blue and Shigaraki follows suit, letting four fingers sit on the wood that’s pinning both of them to the ground. It’s too heavy to lift, so they’re going to have to get rid of it…a task that seems significantly more difficult when it becomes clear that neither of them are positioned at the right angle to touch it.

Shigaraki tries to wrest his arm out enough for his thumb to touch the wood, but it’s impossible. Beside him, Dabi’s having the same issue. “Shit, I can’t reach—“

“Is someone there?” Confident, clear, and oddly robotic, your voice cuts through the din of gurgling water from cracked pipes and police sirens like a lit flare in the darkness. Shigaraki tenses and halts his attempts to get free from the beam, and a second later Dabi mimics him.

“I heard voices.” The same unfamiliar voice rings out through the half-light, now accompanied by a body—your body, taking a series of awkward jumps down the piles of rubble to land in front of the two of them. The outfit you’re wearing is ridiculous: a pair of metal boots that clang against the cement wherever you step, matching braces on your arms, and a space-age chrome motorcycle helmet to top it all off.

A hero. Shigaraki’s lip curls in disgust as your head turns his way.

You scan the scene quickly, eyes resting on the two men trapped in front of you for a moment before you turn back to the opening in the wreckage. “Found two civilians!” you call out to the rescue workers just in case they’re within earshot, although it’s unlikely.

Dabi snickers under his breath. Civilians? Even in the chaos, you should’ve known the second you saw them who you’re looking at. Are you faking ignorance? Got something up your sleeve?  It’s either that, or you genuinely don’t recognize them. Priceless.

You kneel down in front of the fallen beam and give a half-hearted attempt to pick it up. It doesn’t budge. No surprises there—if it were light enough for you to lift by yourself, the two men held down by it would have no problem getting out with their combined strength. You’re going to have to use your support gear to get it off them.

But first—you search for a memory of your rescue training. Reassure the victims. They’re probably panicking.

“It’ll be okay,” you tell them, your voice coming out mechanical and distorted from the helmet you’re wearing. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here to save you.”

This time, Dabi has to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. Ah, yes…they’re so lucky that there’s a do-gooder little hero around to rescue them, because they’d be helpless otherwise. The laugh is still audible, though, and Shigaraki shoots him a glare.

You raise an eyebrow at their expressions. Did he just laugh? Well…you’ve heard that people sometimes have inappropriate reactions in times of crisis. The dark-haired man seems more badly hurt, so you creep toward him first, careful not to disturb any of the debris and trigger an avalanche reaction. “I’m going to check your injuries now,” you tell him, and your gloved hand brushes away a sweep of spiky hair to examine the sizable red bump growing on his forehead.

Ouch…there’s no way that doesn’t hurt, but the man’s not letting any of the pain show on his face. Instead, he looks disinterested at best, and at worst? You almost get the feeling that he’s eyeing you up under your hero costume. Not that you can blame him. Damn this skin-tight bodysuit—it leaves basically nothing to the imagination.

“Does it hurt a lot?” you ask him. “I don’t think this is too serious, but they’ll look you over for a concussion when I get you to first aid.”

Dabi shrugs and you frown. Is the non-verbal response because of the ripped stitches in his face? Is it too painful to talk? Or could there be brain damage? Or maybe he’s just a man of few words or something…?

“Can you get on with it? Pick up the fucking beam already,” Shigaraki hisses.

Startled, you pull your hand away from the other man’s forehead. That ungrateful little…nope, nope, don’t get annoyed, he’s just in shock. “O-Of course, sorry. Just gotta make sure it’s okay to move.”

Luckily, the beam doesn’t look like it’s supporting anything else that’ll fall if you pick it up. You crouch down next to one end and steady your feet against the cement, lifting up with all your strength while activating the effects of the support items you’re wearing. When you feel the metal on your arm braces grow warm, you remind yourself again to thank the developer of your costume. You may not be a fan of the way-too-tight bodysuit that clings to everything, but the strength-enhancing armor that you wear on your arms and legs more than makes up for it.

A second later, you hold back a grin. It’s moving! You try to ignore the unpleasant screech of metal against stone as the beam slowly lifts into the air. As soon as the men get out from under it, you pant and let it crash back into the ground. “You guys okay?”

“Mm…yes,” Dabi replies, running a hand over the torn piercings in his cheek. “Got any more gas masks for the poison mist?”

“Don’t worry! The Commission is familiar with the villain who created it, and the gas isn’t harmful to anything living. Only buildings. It’s a troublesome quirk, but we’ve got it under control.”

“Then what’s with the helmet?”

He can hear the hesitation in your reply, even distorted and tinny through the metal speakers. “Uh…I, well…”

Now that you’re getting a good look at them, the two scarred faces in front of you seem weirdly intense, considering you’ve just saved them from a collapsed building. The dark-haired man’s eyes are…very, very blue next to the burned-looking skin underneath, and the other man’s greyish-blue hair isn’t quite long enough to obscure a pair of red irises that are scrutinizing your face with obvious hostility.

You give a nervous shake of your head to clear it. “Um, the helmet is…it’s dangerous if I take it off. I should get you guys back to the rescue area, I need to meet up with my hero…” Without thinking, you take a step back and then one more, not knowing exactly why you’re backing away when you’re supposed to be escorting them. “I’ll just lead the way?”

With your third step back, though, you bump into something hard. What was that? Your head jerks around but before you can identify what it is that stopped your retreat, you feel the faint sensation of something tapping lightly on the back of your helmet.

And then…it just…crumbles.

What just happened?

You cough and shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut against the sudden onslaught of dust. A breeze whips through your hair, sending a chill through you in more ways than one. How? No one pulled the helmet off; you would’ve felt it if they had. More dust sticks to your face, and you rub your eyes so you can open them.

Behind you, Shigaraki waits with outstretched fingers an inch away from your neck. If he had to explain the decision to decay your helmet strategically, he could—you’re a hero, a potential threat, and he wants to know what you’re hiding under that outfit just in case you figure out who they are and decide to turn on them.

But really? He didn’t think about it that much. It was an impulse reaction to you walking away from them; a tantrum. Child-like.

Once your stunned face is exposed, Dabi has to wonder what you were even trying to hide. You’re…surprisingly ordinary. Young-looking—a rookie, fresh from hero school graduations a few weeks ago maybe? Large, expressive eyes, lips parted in shock, but nothing particularly interesting. Shigaraki cocks his head to the side to study your face too, and both of them are so focused on your appearance that it takes a moment for them to notice the feeling.

Well, feeling isn’t really the right word, but there isn’t a word for the way your quirk works. Dabi’s eyes widen when it reaches him and behind you, Shigaraki stiffens. You notice.

There’s an involuntary quiver in your voice as you break the silence. “Y-You guys must have strong quirks if you can feel it just from that.”

Dabi sucks in a breath. So this is your quirk? It’s different…he’s never felt anything like it, not that he’s exactly sure what it is. There’s some kind of energy in the air around you that he’s breathing in, a feeling like taking a shot of espresso after days of sleep deprivation.

No, it’s stronger than that. The head rush after doing a line of cocaine would be a better metaphor.

Either way, he’s awake—more awake than he can remember feeling in a long time. Heat rises to the surfaces of his palms unbidden, his quirk appearing without him calling it. “What is this?”

“…It’s called Boost,” you say, licking your lips as a dry wave of heat radiates out from the man in front of you. “I can strengthen other people’s quirks. That’s why it’s dangerous—if the villain finds us—“

“It must have been hard to get through hero school with a quirk like that,” says a raspy voice from behind you.

What—? Your head twists around. When did he—

Shigaraki grips your shoulder with three fingers, holding just tightly enough to keep you from stumbling forward and away from him. His pinky and ring finger hover an inch over your costume, careful not to disintegrate the fabric he’s touching—although with the power sparking through his veins at the moment, it almost feels like three fingers would be enough.

“…Doesn’t really seem like the kind of quirk a hero has.” His voice, soft and pondering (a weird contrast to the harsh architecture of his facial features you’d seen earlier), feels very close to your ear. Something soft tickles your cheek. His hair?

A voice (an instinct?) deep inside of you is telling you to run. You ignore it. This is normal, right? It’s not uncommon for civilians who’ve just suffered a traumatic villain attack to have questions, even if those questions seem irrelevant to the situation at hand. You have to answer, even if your gut is churning. “I’m not really a hero. Not yet. For now, I’m a sidekick to one of the pros—and speaking of which, I really need to find—“

“But how does it work?” Dabi doesn’t notice himself making a conscious decision to step forward, but he does anyway and being closer to you feels right. He can see the trepidation on your face as he gets close enough to reach out and touch you, but you can’t really ask him to stay back, can you? Not when your quirk feels this good?

“I—“ Is it unreasonable that you think you’re being trapped right now? They’re just a couple of civilians, right? The question itself is common enough. People often wonder how you can be a hero. It’s a concern you’ve had to address dozens of times over the years. “Well, I work with rescue operations, especially with other heroes who have healing-type quirks. I can also assist in combat in some situations.”

“In combat? If you’re with a hero and a villain, you’ll enhance both quirks. Seems counterintuitive,” Dabi says, half aware that his voice is getting lower.

“And you clearly don’t have physical abilities. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have…these.” Shigaraki taps three fingers on the metal brace on your right arm.

“The effects can be unpredictable. And I can increase the degree of the enhancement with physical contact.”

“Contact?”

“Yeah. The gloves of my costume come off. My quirk is way stronger when it’s skin-to-skin.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

You shouldn’t have said that.

Shigaraki’s ring finger and pinky, which were hovering over the arm brace, come down to rest on the cold metal. The effect is instant: no crumbling, no slow decay—it’s there, and then it’s dust. His quirk in action, boosted by yours.

“What—What are you doing? What did you just do?” You try to pull away from him, but he holds you tight by your collar. His other hand comes up to grip your chin, and in one long sloppy stroke, he licks you from your neck up to your jawline.

You shudder. So does Shigaraki.

“It’s my quirk,” he tells you slowly. His breath is steamy warm on the cold, wet trail of saliva painting your throat. “Decay. Have you heard of it?”

You flinch away from his hand and your back falls against his chest. Of course you’ve heard of the Decay quirk. You might be a rookie, but even civilians know about the young, impetuous head of the League of Villains. Jesus, how had you not recognized him earlier? White hair, red eyes…you should have known. You should have left him under that beam. “Shigaraki…Tomura.”

“So you’re not completely clueless. Do you know me, then?” Dabi asks. He would think he’s the more noticeable of the two (the burn scars usually identify him), but you just stare up at him with the same deer-in-the-headlights look as before. Smirking, he lights a blue fire in his palm and it jumps up toward your face—not just the small spark he intended, but a bright, high flame. “Maybe this will help you remember.”

“The Forest of Beasts incident. You’re the one who started that fire,” you whisper. You’ve seen the TV coverage of the attack on UA’s training camp, the abduction of that teenage student, the forest lit up blue from wildfire. No wonder his skin looks burned.

“Dabi,” he corrects you.

Breath is coming out of your mouth in shallow puffs. Are you hyperventilating? Is this what hyperventilating feels like? You’re definitely panicking. They’re so close to you, caging you in between them. The smoke from the blue fire is uncomfortably hot over the exposed skin of your face, and Shigaraki’s lethal hands are still touching you. If they want to kill you—and why wouldn’t they?—you’re fucked.

The flame goes out and Dabi’s hands come down to squeeze your wrists. His palms are hot like he was holding them in front of a lit stove. It’s not painful, but it’s a threat.

“I’ll fight,” you say.

Your voice is trembling, and Shigaraki likes it. The effects of your quirk, the way he felt when he licked your face… And you’re afraid. He can see it in your shoulders, the quivering of your torso pressed into him. It’s nice. He wants to feel it more.

You’re struggling against their hold, and Dabi feels the urge to laugh. “You’ll fight…the two of us.”

“If you try to kill me, I’ll—“

Before you can finish your sentence, Shigaraki’s hands flit down to your metal support gear and disintegrate it. Shit. He’s fast, and you’re helpless.

Dabi releases your wrists and cups your face in a mockery of intimacy. His eyelids flutter closed as his skin meets yours… Fuck, he could get used to this. You smell so good, sweet and soft and clean, like fruity shampoo. What is that, watermelon?

Life must be difficult for you, hm… Everyone around you must want to touch you constantly. It seems like Shigaraki enjoyed licking you—maybe bodily fluids are an even stronger conductor of your quirk? Pushing easily past your resistance, Dabi forces your jaw upward and kisses you.

Oh…yesyesyes, just like that. Perfect. Dabi has to bite down a groan as his tongue enters your mouth. It’s ridiculous for someone else’s spit to taste this good, but he’s right—your quirk is amplified by the contact from the kiss.

After a moment he has to break it to regain focus and make sure he’s not burning you. You cringe away from him, your cheek brushing against Shigaraki’s neck, but Dabi tangles his hand in your hair to pull you back. He runs a finger against your closed lips, letting the pad of his fingertip heat up until your mouth drops open in response to the threat.

“What the hell are you doing?” Shigaraki asks, voice laced with revulsion. Privately, you agree. What’s going on? You were sure you were about to be either burned to a crisp or decayed into the equivalent.

Dabi laughs under his breath. “Try it. It feels crazy good.”

Curious now, Shigaraki wrenches your head around and tilts your jaw up to repeat Dabi’s action. When you refuse to open your mouth, he taps your jaw warningly and a hiss of fear escapes you. Would he really kill you? He decayed your support gear so quickly—would it be the same for your body?

Well, what’s going to stop them?

You open your mouth.

Shigaraki’s lips are harsh and unsentimental against yours. His tongue sweeps over the inside of your mouth, invasive and brutal. He grips you forcefully, his face pushing you deeper into the strained hold with your head twisted toward his. You’ve never been kissed like this before. His spit—it’s in your mouth.

And Dabi’s hands are on your waist. “How do you get this thing off?” he murmurs, pinching the fabric of your bodysuit.

A surge of panicked adrenaline gives you the strength to pull back away from Shigaraki. “What? No, you can’t!”

“Are you going to stop us, little sidekick?” Dabi mocks. “I think I can burn it off without too much damage.”

“Let me.” Shigaraki takes hold of the cloth, careful so when it dissolves into dust his hand isn’t touching you, and within a second—a second—you’re left shivering in just your underwear and boots.

“Help!” The plea squeaks out and you hope blindly that there’s a hero close enough to hear you. But is there even anyone who can fight them? You certainly can’t. “Help me! Somebody!”

“Shut up.” Dabi sends up a tongue of flame from a fingertip and you shriek as the heat sears against you. “Oh, come on. You should feel lucky. Bad guys like us usually don’t hesitate to take heroes out.”

“I don’t— Please, I’m just a sidekick, I’m a rookie— What do you even want from me? Just let me go, I won’t tell anyone! Please let me go.”

“Well, I think I know what I want.” Dabi traces circles over the tender skin of your hips, playing with the elastic of your underwear. He meets Shigaraki’s eye over your shoulder. “I think he wants that too. Right?”

“Yeah, I want…I want to fuck her,” Shigaraki hums. This isn’t like him, but he can’t help himself. You’re different. Leaving you here and never feeling this stimulant again isn’t an option. He buries his face in the juncture of your neck and shoulder, bites down on the soft skin there, and sucks.

You whimper, half from his answer and half from the sensation of his chapped lips on your neck. “Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but…you smell like something I want to eat. Especially this.” Dabi kneels down in front of you and hitches one of your legs up over his shoulder so you feel his hot breath washing over your clothed pussy.

You whine and attempt to wriggle back away from him, but Dabi’s grip on your thigh holds firm. His other hand brushes against the fabric of your panties to rub up against your slit and another surge of panic jumps up your throat. You can’t let him do this.

You kick your foot against his back, desperately attempting to make contact using the heel of the high boot that’s the only piece of outerwear still left on your body. It hits him awkwardly and he growls. “Damn it. Can’t you keep her busy?”

“Ahh…” Shigaraki ceases his oral assault on your neck and scratches a fingernail against one of the bright red marks marring your skin. He feels almost dizzy from the way your quirk is affecting him. Behind him, the broken expanse of wall digging into his back is the only thing keeping his focus. “Behave, sidekick.”

Before you can respond to the mocking title, Shigaraki’s face is against yours and his tongue is in your mouth again. Rough fingertips work up under the band of your sports bra and pushes it up over your tits. You screw your eyes shut at the sudden feeling of cold air on your nipples, and you know without looking that they’re standing up. Shigaraki gropes you thoughtlessly, keeping one finger lifted off of your skin, and you gasp on his tongue.

“That’s better.” Dabi’s mouth returns to brush against your panties. To be honest, eating you out isn’t the first thing on his mind. What he wants—what he really wants—is to shove you up against the wall and fuck into you and find out what your quirk feels like when you’re wrapped around his cock. But you’re probably not wet enough for that, and it’s not like Shigaraki is going to do anything to take care of you. Dabi would be surprised if the other man’s ever eaten pussy before in his life.

Besides…you smell good. It’s not even just the feeling of your quirk exciting him. The rich, feminine scent of your pussy is inches away from him, and Dabi is dying to make you cum in his mouth.

A moan curls up from deep in your throat as Dabi caresses the lips of your pussy through your underwear. You don’t bother protesting—at this point, it’s unlikely that any plea you could muster would stop them. Your earlier begging didn’t do much besides spur them on, but you still cry out as softly as you can when an unnaturally warm fingertip slips under the cloth of your panties to dip into your slit.

“Oh? You’re wetter than I expected. Are you enjoying this?”

Your frantic denial falls on deaf ears. Shigaraki rasps out a laugh and bites down on your neck again. He’s supposed to be keeping you still, but he can’t help enjoying the way your almost-naked body feels as you press yourself back into his chest, trying to force some space between yourself and Dabi.

Your squirming is no problem for Dabi, though—you’re so soft and vulnerable and the velvety skin of your inner thigh looks so delicious… He nuzzles against the area of bare skin and latches on to it, sucking until he’s sure you’re going to have a mark in a few minutes. The thought of leaving hickeys on you like a teenager is sickeningly nostalgic. You’re probably going to try to forget this when they’re done, aren’t you? But you won’t be able to, not when you’re covered in love bites and bruises. You’re going to be marked up for weeks.

Fuck, he’s hard.

Too impatient to bother taking off your panties, Dabi just pushes them aside to gain access to your damp cunt. His fingers feel hot—too hot, almost unbearably hot; you feel like you could melt into a puddle and your pussy is certainly slick enough as he pets your clit and slides one finger in, then two… You whimper and shake your head, silently denying what’s happening to you. The intrusion is uncomfortable, but Dabi’s fingers quickly find that rough patch inside of you that makes you want to beg like an animal. You hate it, but it feels good.

“She’s so tight,” Dabi says with something like awe in his voice. You can hear Shigaraki panting behind your back.

“Get on with it,” Shigaraki says.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

For a second you just feel Dabi’s humid breath against your dripping cunt before he closes the space between the two of you and his tongue slides onto you, laving over your cunt to come to a rest on your clit. A sound you’ve never heard yourself make before forces its way out of your mouth as Dabi eats you out in earnest, rubbing his tongue against your clit in a stuttering rhythm that gives you no time to catch your breath.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Your head rolls back onto Shigaraki’s shoulder. You feel like crying for a million reasons at once. Maybe you’re already crying—the sounds you’re making are almost like sobs. You want him to stop. You never want him to stop. Your hands twitch as you fight the impulse to fist them in the villain’s hair and pin him down between your thighs.

“Fuck, oh fuck, no stop please stop, ah…!” The stream of gibberish coming out of your mouth crescendoes into a real sob as you feel your climax coming. No—you can’t—you can’t cum here, in this broken-down bar, on the tongue of a villain, but it doesn’t matter that you can’t, because you’re going to cum anyway.

“Please don’t, please let me go—“ You writhe uncontrollably as the desire to cum sweeps over you, but Dabi just curls one arm around your thigh and pulls his face away so he can push his fingers back in, angling his palm to grind roughly over your clit. The harsh, rough texture after the warm wet softness of his tongue is enough to push you over the edge and you cry out your orgasm, your pussy clenching onto Dabi’s fingers as he works them in and out of you.

Unable to support yourself, you crumple like paper, and only the two villains you’re sandwiched between keep you upright.

“Fucking finally,” Shigaraki growls, and he pushes you down so your knees scrape painfully into the rubble. Your earlier resistance was cute, but so is your dazed compliance as he pulls your hips up to meet his.

“You’re going first?” Dabi asks incredulously. After he did all that work getting you off? No way.

“You can use her mouth,” Shigaraki tells him. His cock is straining against his pants and he groans as he releases it and rubs it over your panties. He could decay them, but…they’re cute. Pale pink, peach-pink, except for the wet spot over your cunt. Precum is already dribbling out of his cock as he pulls your panties to the side and lines it up with your pussy. Jesus-fucking-christ, you’re wet, sopping and slimy. Doesn’t that mean you’re begging to get filled up? Shigaraki hears himself sigh as he slides the head of his cock up and down your slit so it’ll be wet enough to go in.

You’re still out of it, dizzy from your orgasm and the tension of the situation, but you snap back to your senses with the feeling of something hard pushed up to your entrance. “Wait!” you yelp for what feels like the hundredth time. The gravel scattered over the wreckage where you’ve been forced onto your hands and knees digs painfully into your flesh as you pull away from Shigaraki, but he holds fast to your hips with pinkies raised.

“Uh-uh,” Dabi admonishes with a grin, as if he’s reprimanding a dog for not coming when called. He settles himself in front of your front and kneels again. Your hair is mussed but still silky soft and he takes a moment to enjoy the way the strands slip over his skin before he tangles his fingers close to your scalp and yanks your head in his direction, forcing your cheek to chafe against the crotch of his pants. It’s not difficult to tell what the the thick bulge is through the fabric, and you try to flinch away only to be caught again and immobilized.

“You’re going to take care of us,” Dabi tells you. “Like I took care of you. Okay?”

No, it’s not okay, it’s absolutely not okay, and you would say so if you didn’t see Dabi’s expression darken at your obvious denial and feel a wave of acrid heat coming from his hand in your hair. The smell is worse than the feeling, honestly—you’ve had enough run-ins with hair curlers and flat irons to recognize the smell of hair when it’s three seconds away from burning. “Okay! Okay,” you answer, panicked, voice muffled by the fabric of Dabi’s pants.

“Good girl,” he purrs, and the heat fades.

“I’m not waiting any longer,” Shigaraki says from behind you.

“Then don’t.”

You whine, too scared to try to get away again or even plead with them to let you go, but it doesn’t matter. Shigaraki’s cock presses into your pussy, and there’s nothing you can do to stop him as he slides into you, inch by inch, torturously slow. Is there anything to bite down on? You need to do something, anything to distract from the pain of Shigaraki’s cock stretching you out. He’s big, impossibly big.

Eyes squeezed shut, you bite your lip until you can taste copper and scrabble around blindly until your hand finds loose fabric to grip. It’s something of Dabi’s, probably the coat he’s wearing if you remember correctly, but your brain isn’t exactly working right at the moment—

“You were right…shit, she’s…she’s so fucking tight.” Shigaraki’s voice is low and labored with the effort of not thrusting into you all at once. “Feels like…she’s trying to push me out…”

Fuck it, he thinks. Would it really be so bad if he did push all the way into you in one stroke? It’s better to just get it over with, isn’t it? Yeah…you’d probably prefer him to do it quickly. And besides, he can’t wait another second to feel you all the way up to the base of his cock.

Your strangled whimper is drowned out by his satisfied groan as he shoves the rest of the way into you in a single sudden thrust. The pain knocks the breath out of you in a gasp, and your eyes fly open as you clutch Dabi’s coat like a lifeline.

“It hurts—!”

“Yeah…yeah, I bet it does,” Shigaraki pants, holding your hips steady as he thrusts in and out of you. The bored nonchalance of earlier is gone, replaced by a feral intensity as his cock carves its way through your pussy. If you didn’t know better, you’d think there’s something affectionate in his voice.

For Shigaraki’s part, he can hardly think of anything aside from the soft, hot, wet cunt wrapped over his dick. It’s taking every vestige of concentration he has left to make sure he’s holding a single finger on each hand away from your skin. It’s pure bliss. Your body was made to be fucked like this. He wants to live inside your pussy, he wants to do this every day, every minute. Fucking you raw is the best he’s felt in months…years. And it doesn’t hurt that your quirk is still working on him, still sending pleasurable shocks of energy that make him feel simultaneously like he could keep you pinned down for hours and like he could cum any second.

“Oh, she’s crying,” Dabi says, tilting your chin up so he can look into your eyes. You flinch and try to jerk your head away, but his hand is still holding you by your hair and he’s so much stronger than you are. They both are, even without using their quirks. “Look at me.”

You comply, more by reflex than any real desire to obey. It’s pretty striking to Dabi how cute you look as Shigaraki pounds into you so fast and deep you can hardly catch your breath. Your eyes are glittering with unshed tears, your tits bounce with every thrust, and you’re still holding onto Dabi’s coat like your life depends on it. It’s almost like you’re pulling him closer. Adorable.

“She can…take it,” Shigaraki responds breathily between thrusts. “Such a good whore, taking my big cock in her tight little pussy…”

The backhanded compliment jars you and you feel hot tears spill over your cheeks. “I’m—not—a—whore,” you manage to say, each word punctuated with Shigaraki’s skin slapping against yours.

“Really?” Shigaraki’s pace slows and he leans closer to you so he can reach an arm around and swirl two fingers against your clit. You mewl like a kitten at the unexpected stimulation and he laughs rudely. “Feels so good…can’t believe the heroes don’t want to fuck you like this all the time…”

You shake your head desperately and bury your face in Dabi’s chest, barely noticing him stroking your hair and then reaching down to unzip his pants.

“No, no, I bet that’s what you do as a sidekick, right?” Shigaraki’s thrusts are back to frenzied jerks, and he rubs over your clit just as roughly. “Spread your legs for your hero…you’d make a great personal cocksleeve. Or maybe they rotate you around so every pro hero gets a turn…?”

“No, I don’t! No! Ah— ahnnn…” The denials pierce the air uselessly as the villain’s cock fills you up again and again. You’re not a whore, you’re not…even if it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the growing pressure of Shigaraki teasing your clit in time with his cock rubbing against your sweet spot. It still hurts—he’s so big, bigger than anyone you’ve ever had sex with before, but there’s no way you’re going to admit to yourself that it’s starting to feel good.

“…Is my cock better than All Might’s?” Shigaraki’s words are cut off by his own grunt of pleasure as your cunt twitches around him.

“Shut the fuck up,” Dabi cuts in. “I’m sick of hearing a guy’s voice moaning. I’m going to get soft.”

Past the point of comprehending the situation, you look up at him gratefully, only to reel back in shock as Dabi frees his own cock from his pants and it brushes against your cheek. Trying to pull away from him is more instinct than rational thought, but he holds you just as easily as before and forces two fingers into your mouth. You tense, ready to bite down, (and hopefully take a few knuckles off) but he sees it coming and suddenly your mouth is horribly burning hot.

“You’re going to suck my cock now,” says Dabi conversationally, extinguishing the flame almost as soon as he started it. It’s not so bad—probably more like a coffee burn than anything else—but you’re coughing and spitting anyway. “Say yes.”

“…Yes,” you whisper, voice barely intelligible.

“Good little sidekick. And you’re going to be very careful. You’re not going to use teeth.”

You nod, unable to mount a defense with Shigaraki mercilessly fucking you from behind.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Y-Yes!” you squeal as Shigaraki finds a particularly sensitive spot inside you.

“Good.” Dabi drags your head down to hover over his cock and massages your jaw until it falls open. “Suck.”

One of his hands falls to your shoulder to try to stabilize you, but you can’t help feeling the threat in the motion. You quickly duck down and attempt to ignore the heady smell of sweat and precum as you trace your tongue up the underside of his dick. He’s big too, maybe thicker than Shigaraki, and you hate yourself for feeling lucky that it’s not this cock inside your pussy right now.

The stunt Dabi pulled burning your mouth made you salivate, and you let drool coat your tongue as you lick around the head. But it’s not working—you rock forward every time Shigaraki stuffs his dick back in your aching pussy, and Dabi’s cock smears over your mouth haphazardly.

“I said suck. Not lick.” Suddenly (although you don’t know why you keep expecting some kind of warning before these villains find a new way to violate you), Dabi grabs the back of your head and shoves his cock into your mouth. Your throat constricts involuntarily as the thick head triggers your gag reflex, and all three of you shiver in unison.

“Do…do that again,” Shigaraki says, voice strained. “She tightens up…when you do that.”

Dabi smirks and thrusts into you again, relishing the warm, humid cavern of your throat around his cock along with the pure swell of energy from your quirk enhancing his. His rhythm matches Shigaraki’s and his cock hits the back of your throat with every rapid pump, making you gag and clench like you’re trying to milk the cum out of him. What a perfect little slut… He can see from Shigaraki’s sloppy movements that you’re squeezing around his cock every time too.

The feeling of having one villain cock buried in your pussy while another ravages your throat is unthinkable, even more so with Shigaraki’s fingers on your clit coaxing out an earth-shaking orgasm. But you’d almost be able to forget what’s happening—god knows you’re delirious with sensation, barely able to keep track of who’s doing what to you—if not for the sound. The wet slap of Shigaraki’s hips against your ass, the horrible squelching from your (dripping wet, even if you don’t want to admit it) pussy as his cock pistons in and out of you, your choked moans and gagging noises, and above it all, the unrestrained voices of the villains fucking into you.

You feel like a fuck toy, a sex doll, used without mercy by the two most evil people you can think of…and you’re about to cum.

Your voice is getting louder by the second, and the pulsing of your cunt around Shigaraki’s cock is telling him exactly how close you are. He curls his body over yours to get a better angle to rub your clit, enjoying your high-pitched whine in response. “Yeah…that’s right…good girl. Cum on my cock…like a good little sidekick.”

You keen and goosebumps rise on your skin as Shigaraki licks at the sheen of sweat on your back. He feels your climax almost as soon as you do… If your scream wasn’t stifled by Dabi’s dick in your mouth, everyone within a one-mile radius would know you were getting fucked silly, yeah? The walls of your pussy clamp down on Shigaraki’s cock, your body begging for his cum, and he grips your ass to make sure you can’t get away as he comes to his own orgasm inside of you.

Fuck… Shigaraki could die right now and be happy. He keeps stroking your clit, knowing it’s cruel, knowing you’ll be overstimulated and sensitive and that it’ll hurt to keep touching you like this after you already came, and not caring because every time the tips of his fingers push that little magic button, you shiver and squeeze him like you’re trying to milk him dry.

Shigaraki gives a few last thrusts, pushing his cum deeper into your body, fucking it into you so you’ll be dripping white for hours, and then finally pulls out. The slurping sound your cunt makes as his cock leaves your pussy is obscene. So is the cloudy trail of mixed white and clear fluid that connects your pussy and the head of his cock until he pulls it away. He loves it.

Knowing that Shigaraki came—inside you, no less, the inconsiderate bastard—Dabi grips the back of your head and tugs you down to deepthroat him. Your walls twitch involuntarily and Dabi groans, letting himself shoot his load down your throat. “Yes…yeah…yeah…just like that. Swallow.”

You don’t swallow. You don’t do anything but gag on his cum and gasp as he thrusts into you. Dabi pulls you off of him, annoyed and ready to threaten you into submission again…until your head lolls to the side and he can see that your eyes are closed.

“Shit, she passed out.”

“…What? Are you kidding?”

Dabi slaps your face lightly. You wince in your sleep but don’t wake up. “Nope. Must’ve been when she came the second time.”

“Is she…” Shigaraki trails off, not sure how to end the question. ‘Okay’ isn’t exactly right.

“She’s breathing, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The two of them wait for a moment, but you don’t move. When he catches his breath, Shigaraki wipes off his dick and pulls up his pants. Dabi does the same. Without them holding you, you flop down into the fetal position on the broken concrete. “What now?” Shigaraki asks.

Dabi wipes the sweat from his forehead. “You tell me, leader. I’m surprised Kurogiri hasn’t opened another warp gate to get you back. Guessing you don’t have your phone either?”

“…We can go to Giran’s place to meet up. They’re probably waiting for us there,” Shigaraki says, scratching at his neck.

“Do you have cab fare?”

“I don’t have my wallet on me. You?”

“Not enough for a cab. We’ll have to take the train. You can owe me.”

Shigaraki looks down at you. You make a pitiful scene, naked except for your boots, sports bra, and cum-soaked panties. Your neck is bruised red and purple, and you’re shaking, shivering in the cool air now that the sun has sunk further toward the horizon and you’re not being touched. “Are we going to leave her here?”

“What, you want to bring her on the train with us? You don’t think that’s gonna look suspicious?”

“Well…” Their eyes meet and Shigaraki knows Dabi’s thinking the same thing he is. You have a lot of potential as an asset. They haven’t even had the chance to see how your quirk boosting works in combat, but Shigaraki almost wants to pick a fight just to give it a try.

And fighting power aside, Shigaraki isn’t a fan of the possibility that he’ll never get to fuck you again.

“Yeah, I know. But she’s a pro hero’s sidekick. She can’t be too hard to find.” Dabi shrugs off his coat and crouches next to you. You’re limp enough that he has no trouble lifting you into his lap and guiding your arms through the sleeves of his coat. Once you’re wrapped in the black fabric, he does up the buttons, combs through your hair with his fingers, wipes the mixed cum and spittle off your chin, and admires his handiwork. Sure, anyone looking closely at you will know at least a little about what happened—you’re still sweating in the cold, you have that undeniable ‘just got fucked’ look all over you, and the smell of sex is overpowering. But at least you won’t have to walk back to the rescue tent in your filthy underwear.

In your sleep, you nuzzle into Dabi’s chest, reaching blindly toward the source of warmth. He grins and strokes the back of your neck, soothing warm fingers over the bruised skin there and enjoying his last opportunity to touch you and feel your quirk working…for now, at least. “You know, I wonder why villains don’t get sidekicks. Seems a little unfair, right?”

Shigaraki’s sneer matches Dabi’s as he bends down to run his fingernails over your cheek, almost hard enough to hurt. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

[tinyboxxtink]

"Not My Yacht" *Chapter 2*

Yes, for two days this is a semi short chapter, but I had another long today and have one more tomorrow and I wanted you to have SOMETHING. Weirdly though I had an entire different chapter written in my head, but when I started typing this came out instead. My original idea is still coming, this just added a fun little bonus getting there. I promise, tomorrow you will get a longer chapter.

Thank you loves for sticking by me through everything! I love you all.

Also, I'm finally using CHAPTER. I kept wanting to use it instead of PART but I just kept writing PART and was like WELP. But they're chapters, right?!

Ok I'll shut up.

Part 1 Here

Part 3

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

And @storiesofsvu for Rita check. lol.

----------------------------------------

When five o’clock rolled around, Rita came walking out of her office with a stack of papers and her briefcase, balancing her purse on her barely free arm.

“Y/N, Why are you still here? Did I not unlock your chains?” She laughed.

“Haha….no, ma’am” You nervously laughed. “I um, I think I’m waiting for someone,”

“You think?” She raised a curious eyebrow. “If you’re waiting on Barba, you’re going to waiting a long time, sweetie,”

“Wha-? How--? Why, exactly?” You asked her totally flabbergasted by the insinuation that not only had Rafael asked you out, but was bailing already.

“He tends to get a little...involved, in his cases. Poor man is a workaholic,” She feigned pity for him.

“Right,” You nodded to her comically overflowing briefcase and papers. “Something you know nothing about,”

“Touché,” She winked. “I’d give him a call, make sure he hasn’t forgotten about you, dear. Before the cleaning staff shows up,” She laughed and sauntered out of her office, leaving you alone in the dark.

You glanced down at your phone. He hadn’t really specified a time, just-- “Tonight”. What did that even mean? Tonight. Like early evening dinner, or a midnight snack after he was done with his cases? You should probably text him. Or call him. Or text him.

TO BARBA: Heyyy….

Wait. Was three y’s too many? Wasn’t that a rule? You show affection by how many y’s you use? Is that a thing kids do these days? Wait, no you’re not a kid. And he certainly was NOT a kid. No. Be a grown up about this.

TO BARBA: Hi I’m just...checking in.

Checking in? What did that even mean? And why the ellipsis? There doesn’t need to be a pause in a text. That’s why it’s a text. You pause in your mind before typing. Idiot.

TO BARBA: What’s up?

Ok. Short and simple. To the point. No pressure, no demanding. Just... ‘checking in’. You hated yourself. Alright fine, good enough send it. SEND IT. HIT SEND NOW.

MESSAGE SENT.

Your phone shook in your trembling hand as you waited for the ellipsis of him writing back. That was too much, no no just put it back in your pocket and he’ll text you when he--

BARBA CALLING

Oh god, a phone call? Who calls people anymore? Grown ups, that’s who. Answer the phone like an adult.

“H-Hello?” You answered it as if he had the wrong number.

“Hey, Cinderella,” His smooth voice came through your earpiece. “I’m so sorry, I should have been more specific about the time,”

“Oh, yeah no-- no big deal, I’m just here at work….alone, in the dark…” You muttered the last words to yourself as you looked around the dark office.

“Right. Well, I’m kind of wrapped up in this case right now--” He started, making your heart drop. Well, Rita called it. He’s just married to his job, no time for women, let alone you. Time to just--

“....Would you hate me if I asked you to come help me?”

“...I’m sorry, what?” You blinked in confusion at your phone. So, was he actually asking you out or trying to snake you as an assistant from Rita? Is that what he meant by ‘dinner’? “Hey come bring me food and help me file these cases, because I’m so sexy and cocky and--”

“You know what, I’m so sorry I just heard how that sounded. You’ve been doing this all day, the last thing you wanna do is come--”

“Sure!” You cut him off a little loudly. What were you doing?! You’re just going to lay down and let him use your services for free? Well, when you put it that way it sounded pretty skeezy about yourself.

“....Are you sure? Because we can just have dinner another night--”

“....Yeah I have a feeling that will never happen,” You cut him off with a laugh.

“Wha--no, it will! I just--”

“Your wife comes first, I get it,” You cut him off again.

“My wife?”

“Yeah you’re married to your work,” You smirked into the phone.

“Wow, quippy Cinderella. Guess you’re more confident on the phone without my gorgeous face tripping you up now, aren’t you?”

“Do you want my help or not, Casanova?” He was totally right; without those green emeralds staring into your soul you were actually a pretty funny and smart person. Maybe it would be better to just have this date on the phone.

"Yes, absolutely," He sighed with a smile.

“Did you want me to bring food, or am I just supposed to eat paperclips and vending machine leftovers??”

“I’ll order some pizza, do you like pizza?”

“....I live in New York Barba. Obviously I like pizza,” You teased.

“Right,” He chuckled. “Well I’ll be here--”

“I know where your office is,” You cut him off for the third time.

“Oh, do you?” He asked in a sneaky tone, as if he thought you’d been googling him or something.

“Um, yeah,” Your voice fell an octave softer. “Actually I’ve been there several times, dropping off stuff from Rita for you,” Of course he wouldn’t remember that. Why would he remember that? You weren’t anything special.

“Shit,” He muttered as if chastising himself. “Y/N I’m so sorry, I--”

“It’s fine,” You assured him as you headed down to the subway. “I’m uh, I’m getting on the train so I’ll see you soon,” You hung before he could reply.

--------------

It wasn’t that far to Rafael’s office from Rita’s, just a few stops away. You quickly hurried up the stairs back into the Manhattan air as you swiftly walked through the sea of people leaving corporate America to go home to Suburbia. Finally you reached the building, went for the door and-- it was locked.

Well of course it was locked, nobody else in their right mind would be here this late-- so clearly you and Rafael were out of your minds. Shit. Should you call him? Was there a buzzer? Before you could think of another solution a pizza delivery man was walking up to you. Maybe ‘man’ was too generous, he was probably around 16 or 17.

“Delivery for Mr. Barba,” He handed you the pizza. Did you look like a “Mr. Barba” to him?!

“I um,” You stammered as the hot pizza burned the sides of your arms you were holding it on. “I’m not Mr. Barba,”

“Are you taking it to him?” He asked you with a slight attitude.

“I um,” You thought a moment. Well you were going to see him, so yes theoretically you would be taking the pizza with you to him. “...Yes,”

“That’ll be 46.57.” He whipped out a credit card scanner on his phone.

“E-Excuse me?” You were taken aback. Now Barba had you buying him dinner? And what kind of pizza costs basically 50 bucks?!

“2 Large pizzas, an order of cheesy bread, a dessert pizza and delivery fee,” The kid read off the receipt from his phone. “I only accept credit or debit cards, and please tip generously,”

“Yeah right,” You muttered with a roll of your eyes as you pulled out your credit card and swiped it across his phone. The light turned green and a receipt printed off an attachment to his phone. He ripped it off and handed it to you, then nonchalantly walked back down the stairs to wherever he was parked.

“Awesome,” You sighed. You still didn’t know how to get inside, and now you were carrying all this hot food. All of this for a pair of green eyes?!

To make matters worse, your phone started going off in your purse. You groaned and tried to put all of the boxes down softly, but the night wind blew them onto the pavement, HARD.

“Shit!” You groaned louder as you tried to salvage the food while pulling your phone from your purse. Of COURSE.

BARBA CALLING

“I can’t get in,” You simply stated as a greeting on the phone.

“What?”

“I can’t get in the building, Barba,” You grumbled, now on a 8 on the annoyance scale.

“Oh! Oh God,” The line went dead. Awesome.

After a few minutes while you were trying to rebalance all of the boxes in your arms, one of the big glass doors swung open right into you. The boxes all pressed against you, their hot, saucy, cheesy and chocolatey goodness smearing all over your work outfit.

“SHIT!!!!!!” You screamed in horror.

“Oh my god, Oh god Y/N I am SO--” Rafael started to apologize profusely, but you noticed he was trying his best not to burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry, do you think this is funny?!” You asked angrily while you peeled a pepperoni from your hair.

“No, not at all,” He shook his head vigorously, but kept giggling behind his eyes.

“You do!” You stomped your heel, causing marinara to roll down your legs. “You are absolutely laughing at me being covered in all of your stupid food that I had to pay for by the way--”

“Oh no, really?” He suddenly turned sincere.

“No, Rafael,” You scoffed as you tried pulling cheese from your skirt. “I just had sex with him in the parking lot and we called it square,”

“Really--?!”

“NO NOT REALLY!”

“Okay! Okay I’m sorry, really I am,” Rafael tried to show you sympathy, but you looked so damn cute covered in a tasty meal.

“Yeah I can see that, you’re grinning like a five year old,” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Y/N I really am,” He gave up trying to hide a laugh. “But you have to admit it’s pretty funny--”

“I DON’T THINK--” You started to scream at him again, but his smile made these cute little crinkles in his eyes, and his laugh was like an angel’s chorus. You might have been covered in food, but you would be covered in manure if it made him laugh like that.

“For what it’s worth, you look delicious,” He teased you, pulling an actual full piece of pizza from your chest and biting it.

“Oh my god, you’re so gross,” You did your best not to laugh, you were still supposed to be angry.

“Yum, Y/N flavor, my favorite,” He laughed for a moment just as you both realized what he had said. “Uh, I mean--” He looked away in embarrassment, and you swear you saw his face flush red.

“Um no counselor,” You bit your lip with a smile. “I’m pretty sure I taste better than a mix of pizza sauce and chocolate,”

“I’m sure you do,” Rafael bravely retorted, now that he knew you were in the playing mood.

“....But seriously, now I have to go home and get this shit off--”

“I have a shower in my office,” He blurted out.

“....Excuse me?” You blinked, not believing you heard him right.

“I...I have a shower in my office,”

“Oh my god, Rafael Barba are you that addicted to work that you live here?”

“No!” He rolled his eyes. “It’s for emergencies,”

“Emergencies? Like what?”

“Like a beautiful woman covered in pizza toppings and chocolate,” He smirked. “Now come on, I don’t want anyone around here thinking I’m dating a crazy person,” He opened the glass doors again and escorted you into the lobby of the building.

Your mind didn’t know what to focus on first; the fact that he had this mysterious office shower, that he had offered for you to use said shower, or the fact that he just referred to you as a ‘woman he was dating’. You just followed him silently into his office with a smitten grin on your face.

He wasn’t lying when he was in the ‘middle’ of something. Papers were strewn all about his desk, a white board with bullet points for arguments and cross examinations scribbled on it. You finally got a good look at him without the anger of having food all over your judgement. He looked tired, not the usual smooth and pristine Rafael Barba you were used to. But when he looked back at you to show you where his shower was, his green eyes sparkled gazing into yours.

“So, I have some spare suits in a closet here, would you mind hanging out in one of my dress shirts while I wash...these?” He gestured to your dirty clothes. Wait, wash?

You suddenly realized he had led you into a secret room to the side of his office, behind a bookcase.

“Wha…” You looked around the room. There was a shower, a wardrobe, a washer/dryer combo, and a suit steamer. “Jesus Barba, are you sure you don’t live here?”

“No I promise I don’t,” He shook his head with a laugh. “...But I may have on occasion fallen asleep here enough to invest in this,”

“And what happens when this office is passed on to a new ADA?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Then I’m sealing this place off like a mausoleum,” He stated very seriously, causing you to giggle. He loved your giggle, it was so small and soft, just like you.

“Anyway,” He shook off his momentary daze at your giggle hoping you didn’t notice. “Like I said-- Shower, dress shirt. Just put your dirty clothes in the washer and we’ll pop them in the dryer later,”

“Right,” You nodded, definitely having noticed his dreamy stare at your giggle. How had you gone from completely under his radar to making him giddy like a school boy in two days?

“Right,” He nodded back. “I’ll just be out here...ordering another pizza,” He smirked. “By the way, I’ll totally reimburse you for the one you’re wearing,” He stuck his tongue out at you with a huge grin.

“Oh you better,” You gave him the same face back. “Or I’ll cover you in it,” You lightly pressed a marinara sauce covered finger into his perfectly white dress shirt. He glanced down at it in horror.

“Oh that was so--” He started to tickle and attack you, but realized that would only make his outfit dirtier. “This isn’t over,” He wagged a finger at you as he pointed you to the shower. You gave him one last cheeky smile as he walked out and shut the door to his secret room.

What was happening? Why were you getting to him so easily, so fast? How could he have not even remembered that he had ‘met’ you several times? Well, one thing was for sure. He was never going to forget this night.

[hellzonegrenade]

dbs super hero thoughts under the cut, spoilers and being kind of critical in general

disclaimer, i watched it online with not great sound quality, and who knows if the translation was spot on, but it sounded mostly right

it looked REALLY GOOD from what i could see. pans training with piccolo stood out to me for how good it looked. also loved all the redrawn shots from the anime. there WERE some scenes that were… wacky looking, particularly all the scenes on whatever beerus’s planet is called. i do wish it had leaned more into the superhero element? want more impact in the fight scenes. this is part of why pan’s training stood out.

some of the models looked kind of. meh. cheelai looked weird to me? krillin was weirdly skinny for a short ripped martial artist. tbh a lot of the characters just looked weirdly skinny compared to usual. also wish piccolo had his long nails but that’s just personal preference lmao

most of the characters who they shared the models for to get everyone excited for the movie were barely in it at all. like, 18 might have had three lines?? goten and trunks were barely there. krillin was FLANDERIZED. to be fair i don’t watch super so maybe it’s been that bad for a while, idk. but you’re telling me he wouldn’t go help?? HES EITHER THE STRONGEST OR SECOND STRONGEST HUMAN ALIVE (it’s him or tien) and yeah he’s always been one to try to get out of situations but to not even go help when his wife and basically nephews are in a life or death situation AND THE WORLD IS AT STAKE?? WHAT????? videl was barely in it at all, don’t know if she was even aware of her child being kidnapped. where tf is she walking around all the time on facetime, girls gonna get run over. her giving piccolo plushies as thanks for taking care of pan was kind of cute but like. this is so picky but it didn’t feel like a videl thing to me. id believe gohan did that before videl. BUT i LOVE getting some piccolo and videl interaction, they’re two of the most important people in gohans life. id love some real interaction also bc i think their characters could bounce off of each other well but that ship has sailed in canon especially since videl seems to be like. background wife character now. speaking of people who are now just background characters.

GOHAN. wtf did they do to my boy. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COUNT HIS MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME. i saw on peridodite’s blog (not tagging u bc i don’t wanna force someone to read all this lol) that it was supposedly a piccolo movie but they pushed for gohan to be in it, which makes a lot of sense. i’m sorry, but i want one or the other. i love gohan but i’d be fine with just a piccolo movie (gohan would make an appearance regardless, you know he would)! it would make way more sense! bc by forcing gohan to have to be relevant but not wanting to adjust the plot events too much, they make the whole thing into like… piccolos scheme to get gohan to fight? I WILL SAY they actually made piccolo seem pretty chill with gohan not training in this one, at least in the translation i had. he wanted to make him fight bc he’s like. their best bet. BUT. i think that was a bad move period. it’s not a good look to make the characters not try to fight their own battles or just ask for help directly. where did piccolos strong will and backbone go? he’s not against asking for help when he knows he’s down and he definitely isn’t against lying but like. him being like well i can’t do much and goku and vegeta aren’t here teehee didn’t make me too happy, but i don’t like the huge power divide now anyway.

but anyway, gohan is barely in it, but i liked a lot of his moments! him nearly destroying his house was GOOD. him not sensing piccolos ki… i thought they’d reveal it was a joke but they didn’t?? that just doesn’t make sense. he’s been able to easy sense his loved ones since saiyan saga.

i liked piccolo talking to shenron bc in what i watched it seemed like it was making a joke about how king piccolo murdered shenron and so shenron was scared, but i wasn’t sure if it was actually going for reverence towards kami or something, idk. but the fact that they can just… power up the dragon to grant them more power…. didn’t like it. and didn’t like that they wouldn’t just resort to training, they were like give me a power up! piccolos always been big on training. idk, it made the fight feel cheap.

the new forms SUCK. like oh god piccolo looked SOOOO cute and then his new forms are SO UGLY and just not good. very uncreative. would’ve loved something related to the dragon if we HAD to have new forms. gohans stupid hair dear lord. but i’d much prefer that no one had a new form, bc it was kind of forced into the plot with low stakes which made them feel less significant (super saiyan was a HUGE DEAL to achieve at first, for example). i still maintain that piccolo should’ve learned kaioken bc he could use it REALLY well given his regenerative abilities. gohan shouldn’t need a new form! he’s gohan!

also you’re really telling me these gammas are that powerful 💀

bringing back cell…. bad…. wasn’t a good design and bringing him back had zero impact given no one really responded accordingly. and that fight was really boring? the hits didn’t have impact, the obvious choice was to have piccolo or someone use makankosappo on the head thing bc IT’S MEANT TO PENETRATE. also when they were like someone has to sacrifice themselves kind of surprised piccolo wasn’t just like ok cool i’ll do it bc he’s never shied away from self sacrifice lol. but again, there wasn’t any weight to it.

you can have weight in dragon ball movies, broly proved it! you can know everyone will ultimately be ok but still make care bc you wonder how the arc will resolve for the characters and how they’ll be affected! but like. nothing really happened. gohans change just felt weird? idk.

the villains got a LOT of time but there were a lot of them and they didn’t do a great job with their time making you invested. i didn’t care about any of them. i’m sorry but when gamma 2 (?) died i felt nothing. and it’s not like i went into this movie planning to hate them! i was SOOOO hype for this movie, but i was like oh. ok. i don’t even dislike any of them i’m just perfectly neutral. i don’t remember the gero grandsons name but he had a little more appeal bc he’s clearly like a brat but also just wants to do good ultimately? and he’s smart but stupid in that he has no common sense and got fooled really easily, which was endearing to me in this case. but also i don’t even remember his name.

oh yeah my thing didn’t have a post credits scene so i’m wondering what that is lol

it was cool to hear piccolo refer to goku as goku, i immediately noticed since he’s usually like SON. his japanese va is awesome as always. and there were definitely cute antics! i liked him clawing at gohans window, trying to drive the plane… pan was cute.

GOKU AND VEGETA. HNGHHHHHH I WAS MAD. you’re telling me GOKU needs to learn patience in fighting, but vegeta is better than him at it?? SUPER GOKU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

At least the final scene with those two it seemed like they made it ambiguous whether or not goku pretended to lose to vegeta

there are definitely other things im forgetting right now bc it has been a minute but. overall it wasn’t great, i was honestly kind of disappointed bc i was looking forward to it for a long time, piccolos my favorite. BUT. it wasn’t terrible! i know i was very critical here but i didn’t hate it. probably a better experience in a theatre setting, the fights might have been better with better sound. would’ve liked more of superhero elements (where r u saiyaman…. we need u……..). definitely wayyyyy inferior to the broly movie. kind of at the same level as like. tree of might.

[yanderecandystore]

ok I had an idea and I couldn’t get it out of my head so here goes. What if the bullies had an s/o that had powers related to their emotions? How would they react to their “darling” becoming an awful, pained monster due to the utter misery and distress the two put them through?

Hmmmmmmmm- Sure! Why not :3

Sounds really interesting boo, I like the idea but I don't think I'll be able to extend it boo. I decided to make the reader be known as a monster tho-

TW/Tags: kinda angsty // mild body horror/painful transformation // gender neutral reader // monster reader // dehumanization (as in: people treat you not like a person, but as a creature-) // mentions of severe mental/physical abuse // on this one, there won't be any difference in the twins reaction, this is basically a "choose your preferred asshole" lol (both twin's parts are exact copy of each other in this one, I'm sorry ;-;) // kidnapping

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Exactly what you are [Yandere!Bully OCS x Monster!Reader - Headcanon]:

🎇 Let me set the stage for a quick sec!🎇

In this scenario, things are going to go downhill really quick boo.

I won't extend this for long, the fact is that you were born a monster in a world that doesn't like you very much. That's why you have been treated like this for so long, that's exactly why you have been bullied and cast aside for so long. Many people have treated you differently because of this, so your experience with the twins isn't exactly new.

You never really questioned why they hated you, the answer seemed to be very obvious- You were different, you were a beast in their eyes and so you never questioned whenever someone hurt you.

But it didn't mean you were somehow protected from their vile actions, holding in the frustration and the pain only made you continue to change and show your suffering in a physical grotesque form.

You changed so much. And it still hurts, even after such a long time.

It wasn't just the twins who were mean to you actually, to be fair they kept their distance while the other students were physically and verbally degrading you. They would say something mean here and there but mostly just scoff at you and the people touching you.

You never knew exactly what they were thinking when the other students tried messing with you. You could only assume they were glad to not have to deal with you.

→Alexandra Coldwell:

To be fair, Alexandra did not plan on interacting with you at all, the mere thought of it would be insulting. She would never talk with someone like you, right? Why waste her time? You weren't worth it.

That's what she kept telling herself every time she would bite her nails at seeing the others treating you like garbage, she kept telling herself as she continued to watch you accept it and never oppose them.

She couldn't distinguish the disgust she felt for you with the disgust she felt for the lowlifes tormenting you, Alexandra tried to ignore it as best as she could yet she couldn't keep herself from staring at you- Not even because of your appearance, she couldn't stop staring in general, she couldn't stop feeling something when she noticed your appearance constantly changing over your time spent in class.

It was starting to take away all her concentration as she started to imagine what exactly was happening to you, you seemed to change every time you experienced negative attention from the other students, getting more and more grotesque at each negative comment or physical attack.

She assumed you could only get more and more uglier each time you felt sad and pathetic of yourself, yet she found something extremely interesting as she started following you around- She manage to catch you in a moment she assumed no one else could- You were smiling, happy, having fun, finding beauty around you.

The beauty you found around you, somehow communicated to you, the joy you were feeling in that private secretive moment was somehow changing your appearance, and for the first time since you got into the institution she could see some sort of beauty in you- She could for the first time call you beautiful, despite her annoyance with such concept.

Alexandra would never admit it, but her time spent on stalking you and thinking about you and trying to see what makes you feel happy was starting to sound like obsession even to herself. She didn't want anyone to know about it, so she started to make it sound like she hated you with all her guts to everyone who would question her- Why? Because she thought she hated you, she was wrong.

Each day spent in studying your abilities and trying to catch every way your transformations worked were somewhat fun to her, the only issue was the other students trying to catch some of it for themselves, so she had to make sure everyone else would leave you alone so she could have your attention to something else- Something that could change your emotions and your appearance, so she could continue playing with it and seeing how much you could change.

Actually she wasn't really interested in seeing how you would look if you were angry, or fearful, or even sad- She was trying to think of how she would be able to see you happy, forever happy with your life and yourself. She started wanting to see that same beauty and joy again, everyday, she didn't really know why, but she felt compelled to try and search for what makes you happy-

With you away from everyone else, and only with her to pull the strings, that would make it a lot easier, right?

She wished it was. Turns out you don't really want to be near her, and for a good reason- She constantly talks with you as if you weren't a person, but a subject for an experiment- A lab rat, a pet.

Alexandra never meant any harm, but her words and actions would cut like the sharpest knife stabbing your heart, as you were already fragile by the constant bullying and the fact you never had any person be so weirdly invested into you.

She doesn't have the best communication skills, and it shows- As everything that comes out of her mouth is easily interpreted as condescending, rude, and selfish.

You tried to open yourself for the possibility of being her friend, you really did- But you couldn't take it anymore, you were tired of being treated differently and you were tired of making excuses for her behavior whenever she did something you didn't appreciate- Like asking you way too personal questions and touching you way too much and for way too long- You snapped at her eventually, tired of not understanding what exactly was your relationship with her.

A friend? An enemy? Someone in between? You didn't know anymore, you didn't care, you were done with this.

The thought of you ever saying "no" to her and you deciding to never talk with her again was something that had never crossed her mind. You shouldn't have done that darling, you shouldn't have humiliated her in front of so many students- You shouldn't have said no to someone who feels so lost without you.

She felt so angry at you for not only yelling at her to leave you alone, but to also not let her do what she felt like she needed to do- To find a way to make you happy! Who declines an offer like that??! Yeah, she didn't really help her case (she never really told you what she was trying to do-) but you have to understand that you're a dumbass for not accepting her.

She was angry, and just so… Sad! Sad because of you throwing her away, and for what?? So the others would go back to hurt you? Or you would be forever alone again?

You make no sense, she also makes no sense.

But she did promise herself to find a way to make you happy again, no matter the cost, right?

She snapped that day, although you would only know the consequences of your actions the day before- As you were going to talk with the principal about getting off your course, Alexandra had kidnapped you.

You didn't see her coming, you didn't see or hear a thing when you were caught. You only know that you were walking down the halls, and know you're tied to a bed frame. Never have expensive blankets and a soft mattress felt so uncomfortable.

Now, this isn't the best situation, neither for you or for her, and even if you end up changing to an form of constant fear, or constant terror and hatred towards her- She won't let that stop her from making you happy, it's not about seeing that beautiful form once more- It's about just giving you something that seemed so rare to you, like a moment you could experience forever.

It breaks her heart to know that not only has she done something unforgivable, but to also know that you'll probably never be happy around her again.

→Adrien Coldwell:

To be fair, Adrien did not plan on interacting with you at all, the mere thought of it would be insulting. He would never talk with someone like you, right? Why waste his time? You weren't worth it.

That's what he kept telling himself every time he would pull his hair while seeing others treating you like garbage, he kept telling himself as he continued to watch you accept it and never oppose them.

He couldn't distinguish the disgust he felt for you with the disgust he felt for the lowlifes tormenting you, Adrien tried to ignore it as best as he could yet he couldn't keep himself from staring at you- Not even because of your appearance, he couldn't stop staring in general, he couldn't stop feeling something when he noticed your appearance constantly changing over your time spent in class.

It was starting to take away all his concentration as he started to imagine what exactly was happening to you, you seemed to change every time you experienced negative attention from the other students, getting more and more grotesque at each negative comment or physical attack.

He assumed you could only get more and more uglier each time you felt sad and pathetic of yourself, yet he found something extremely interesting as he started following you around- He manage to catch you in a moment he assumed no one else could- You were smiling, happy, having fun, finding beauty around you.

The beauty you found around you, somehow communicated to you, the joy you were feeling in that private secretive moment was somehow changing your appearance, and for the first time since you got into the institution he could see some sort of beauty in you- He could for the first time call you beautiful, despite his annoyance with such concept.

Adrien would never admit it, but his time spent on stalking you and thinking about you and trying to see what makes you feel happy was starting to sound like obsession even to himself. He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he started to make it sound like he hated you with all his guts to everyone who would question him- Why? Because he thought he hated you, he was wrong.

Each day spent in studying your abilities and trying to catch every way your transformations worked were somewhat fun to him, the only issue was the other students trying to catch some of it for themselves, so he had to make sure everyone else would leave you alone so he could have your attention to something else- Something that could change your emotions and your appearance, so he could continue playing with it and seeing how much you could change.

Actually he wasn't really interested in seeing how you would look if you were angry, or fearful, or even sad- He was trying to think of how he would be able to see you happy, forever happy with your life and yourself. He started wanting to see that same beauty and joy again, everyday, he didn't really know why, but he felt compelled to try and search for what makes you happy-

With you away from everyone else, and only with him to pull the strings, that would make it a lot easier, right?

He wished it was. Turns out you don't really want to be near him, and for a good reason- He constantly talks with you as if you weren't a person, but a subject for an experiment- A lab rat, a pet.

Adrien never meant any harm, but his words and actions would cut like the sharpest knife stabbing your heart, as you were already fragile by the constant bullying and the fact you never had any person be so weirdly invested into you.

He doesn't have the best communication skills, and it shows- As everything that comes out of his mouth is easily interpreted as condescending, rude, and selfish.

You tried to open yourself for the possibility of being his friend, you really did- But you couldn't take it anymore, you were tired of being treated differently and you were tired of making excuses for his behavior whenever he did something you didn't appreciate- Like asking you way too personal questions and touching you way too much and for way too long- You snapped at him eventually, tired of not understanding what exactly was your relationship with him.

A friend? An enemy? Someone in between? You didn't know anymore, you didn't care, you were done with this.

The thought of you ever saying "no" to him and you deciding to never talk with him again was something that had never crossed his mind. You shouldn't have done that darling, you shouldn't have humiliated him in front of so many students- You shouldn't have said no to someone who feels so lost without you.

He felt so angry at you for not only yelling at him to leave you alone, but to also not let him do what he felt like he needed to do- To find a way to make you happy! Who declines an offer like that??! Yeah, he didn't really help his case (he never really told you what he was trying to do-) but you have to understand that you're a dumbass for not accepting him.

He was angry, and just so… Sad! Sad because of you throwing him away, and for what?? So the others would go back to hurt you? Or you would be forever alone again?

You make no sense, he also makes no sense.

But he did promise himself to find a way to make you happy again, no matter the cost, right?

He snapped that day, although you would only know the consequences of your actions the day before- As you were going to talk with the principal about getting off your course, Adrien had kidnapped you.

You didn't see him coming, you didn't see or hear a thing when you were caught. You only know that you were walking down the halls, and know you're tied to a bed frame. Never have expensive blankets and a soft mattress felt so uncomfortable.

Now, this isn't the best situation, neither for you or for him, and even if you end up changing to an form of constant fear, or constant terror and hatred towards him- He won't let that stop him from making you happy, it's not about seeing that beautiful form once more- It's about just giving you something that seemed so rare to you, like a moment you could experience forever.

It breaks his heart to know that not only has he done something unforgivable, but to also know that you'll probably never be happy around him again.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[naralanis]

Fic Writer Review!

Thanks @mssirey for the tag! I totally didn't have a crisis with the very last question, not at all bwhahaha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41, soon to be 42. ASJKLDBLAHSDSD how. And also why. But mostly, how.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

565,934 EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I was going to check my unpublished works but ya know what. Maybe I've written enough akdjsa

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Technically speaking, I've written and published fics for five fandoms. However, I only have one story for OUAT (and I have @shadowdianne to thank for that... or do I?) and one for Captain Marvel. Mirandy was my first love, Cissamione the second, and Supercorp has burrowed in my brain and just won't let go.

I've also technically written for Xena, Legend of Korra, and Criminal Minds, but since I never published those, we're going to pretend they don't exist!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Only two are WIPs! YEAH! They're the top two, but WHO CARES, here they are:

1) Perhaps, aka my baby, my child, my darling, the apple of my eye. If I ever had to choose to finish only ONE of my WIPs, this would be the one. This story has grown with me, and I think you can tell when you read. Or maybe not!

2) For the Better. If the former is my baby, this one is like... my moody teenager. I love it dearly, but... it takes a lot out of me. An ode to one of the first fandoms I actively wrote for, it sits unfinished, but nearly, oh so nearly done. I will finish it, damn ittt.

3) The Date. Honestly, this one really surprised me -- it's one of my oldest one-shots, and something I definitely dashed off between lectures back in Scotland, maybe alternating with FtB chapters. It's one of my first attempts at humour, I think.

4) Bits and Pieces. AYY, I wasn't sure Supercorp would make the cut, WOOOT! This one was the second Supercorp fic I ever wrote, and I did it because Lena Is Baby and the idea just wouldn't leave my brain.

And lastly, the fabulous number 5... Perfect. AKA Nara's First (published) Explicit Fic, featuring Praise Kink and an Enchanted Dildo (for... reasons). I'm not gonna lie, I am so HAPPY this one made it, because it has a special place in my heart. It's where Soft Butch Hermione comes to life, and if you don't love Soft Butch Hermione, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. I love her.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Eeermmm... some? I do want to respond, but I'm terrible with keeping up with comments, I really am. For whatever reason, even when I do my best, I don't really love responding directly on AO3. I also turned off all email notifications for AO3 because turns out my brain WILL be distracted by even a single one.

I'm much more responsive on Tumblr, I promise!

6. A fic you've written with the angstiest ending:

Any of my Narlily works, I guess? Like... All Flowers Wither or Carry On.

Unshackled would be another one, though it's Cissamione... but I caved and made a happy(ish) second part for that one.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope! Crossovers just don't do it for me, generally speaking (reading or writing).

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

EvEr rEcEIvEd hAtE-- yes. Oh, yes. I've been told my writing is terrible, I've been told my stories were a 'waste of time,' or 'overhyped,' I've had people tell me there was only One Way to write a certain pairing and my way was definitely Not The Way.

The list goes on.

It used to really, really bother me--still does, but in a much smaller way. Delete/Block buttons are my friends.

9. Do you write smut?

I write an absurd amount of smut. I just don't publish any of it because. Fear.

My pretty, pretty pens have created some filthy, filthy things.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A couple of times -- only once or twice like, straight up attributed to someone else who acted like they were the one writing it. The other times were reposts or translations (without my permission, so still. stolen).

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I've authorized a couple of translations of a few of my DWP works. I'm usually cool with people translating my stuff IF THEY ASK ME FIRST and GIVE ME PROPER CREDIT.

9/10 it's some Brazilian who translates it to Portuguese without my permission and then gets upset when I, another Brazilian, do not endorse it and politely ask them to take the thing down. Thankfully it's been a while. ASK ME, DAMN IT.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nothing published bwhaha!

13. All-time favourite ship?

Right now SuperCorp is definitely barking a little louder, so to speak, but I don't really have one favourite overall. It depends on the fandom, sometimes! Cissamione is very dear to my heart, because it's just so fucking out there and literally every one in this ship has some of the most fascinating headcanons for this pairing and it's just. So wonderful.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Eeeeuuughhh.... Right now? Probably The Appraisal. I forget what I wanted to do with it, I'm not sure if I'm still feeling the premise... IDK.

I think the same could be said of For the Better, but I PROMISED to finish it, and GOD DAMN IT, I am so close I can't throw in the towel just yet.

15. Writing strengths?

You want ME to say good things about MYSELF? I'm still learning how to do that asldkjbasdn it's a work in progress. But I think I'd say... maybe world-building, at least on my longer works?

I would also like to think I do pretty OK in... IDK, some of the punchy stuff? The 'oh wait a minute' moment? IDK if that makes sense!

16. Writing weaknesses?

Organizing. Plot (HAHA IKR). Consistency. Editing (which is rich from someone who literally edits shit for a living... but go figure). Pacing. Weirdly long sentences? Commas for DAYS.

I could go on.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I am a-OK attempting it in French/Spanish/Portuguese. It may not sound natural, but it will be correct. If I'm trying another language, I'll definitely get help! But I've got no problem with it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Harry Potter, Dramione specifically, and you'll never find a shred of it. I was like 12, and almost a decade later I figured out Hermione was much better off with Draco's mother.

19. What's your fav fic you've written so far?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOOSE asdkljasdl I CAAANNN'TTTT

I mean, obviously Perhaps is one of them -- it is my baby, that has been established. I think Little Bumps in the Road is also up there, because it was just a random writing exercise that got out of hand, and honestly? I'm here for it. Andddd.... I GUESS I'll put A Valentine's Evening up there as well, because it was the first time I didn't second guess every word I wrote when posting smut. I just... felt it, went for it, wrote it, and it felt really, really good to release some of that into the world lol

WHEW, this was a long one! I'll be tagging @intheinkpot, @shadowdianne, @delirious-comfort, and @16-pennies because I am a curious bastard. But, as always, feel free to treat this as an open tag. Go nuts!

[itsgoldleaf]

I posted 446 times in 2021

46 posts created (10%)

400 posts reblogged (90%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.7 posts.

I added 132 tags in 2021

#stargate atlantis - 38 posts

#mcshep - 31 posts

#rodney mckay - 18 posts

#john sheppard - 14 posts

#goldleaf's writing - 10 posts

#ask meme - 5 posts

#pacific rim au - 4 posts

#ronon dex - 4 posts

#fictober21 - 4 posts

#stargate - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i do hope it’s a good show but i’ll have to wait for the whole thing to come out and spin a wheel to decide which service i’ll subscribe to

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

18 and 22 for the ask game, plz

Thank you Anon! 18. I name you writer on the show: What's the first thing you write Season 6? A fix-it for all the weird characterisation in season 5? LOL this is a tough question. I think, yes, I'd ultimately like to write another season but have it be like, a mini series maybe, 4 episodes max? Something to just, make everything better and satisfy my own self-indulgences but also make up for the yawning omissions in the show in general. I would love to write a slice-of-life thing where everyone is back in Pegasus, literally 100% composed of all those small, weirdly away-from-the-action character moments that are dotted around so much in the show that have no plot significance but really flesh out the people and their relationships to one another. I'd give Teyla and Ronon actual respectable character arcs and utilise them as people with unique experiences and perspectives and not just sounding boards for other characters' dialogue. Half the time in SGA it doesn't matter if you give the line to Teyla or Ronon since they get used as exposition-catalysts way too much. I want Teyla and her people to be back in the fore, how USEFUL she and they would be in reestablishing relations with all the other planets and trading partners once Atlantis gets back to Pegasus (especially if they got cut off from Earth again. Okay I'm literally just describing Written By The Victors again here I can't help it!!!) I want her to have genuine friendships with other female characters that aren't just 'we need to move the plot forward with some exposition' (SGA does pass the Bechdel test in a few episodes to be fair but I almost feel that's by accident honestly, I think it's literally always to drive the plot forward via dialogue and never just to have them be hanging out shooting the shit like you get with John & Rodney). I WANT SATEDAN CULTURE PLEASE I want to know more about their art and songs and commerce and world c'moooooon (I'm literally writing a thing about this rn because!!!) Ronon is so criminally under-used as a PERSON in this show oh my god, so I want him to have more to do than just not understanding shit because he isn't unintelligent, christ. Does anyone in the show EVER ask him what HIS favourite song is?! Or what he likes to do?! And also just, I haven't even got to McShep yet, but I'm a slow burn lots and lots of subtext and neither of them naming it will-they-are-they-what-is-this? sort of person so nothing would even explicitly happen until the last 'episode' of this thing I'm apparently now in charge of. The pier scene from the Shrine except a whole season of that mood, where you know what's going on but it's this quiet, understated intimacy that blooms, not in the forefront, just, a nice development of a thing rumbling along. (Yes I would yeet the Rodney/Jennifer thing sorry not sorry, haha.) I went REALLY OFF BRIEF HERE but oh my god I think what I love about SGA in a twisted way is the lost potential (aka thank fuck for fic). It doesn't have to be a big enemy of the week drama for it to be interesting and good and engaging - I crave the small moments, treating the characters with respect and not caricaturing them (looking at you season 5 episodes that shall go nameless unless someone asks me about them at which point I will gladly write a thesis) so yeah, fund me amaz*n I'll write your show for you

22. A fic you would be buried with since it's so good, you'd read it over and over until the end of time. This is VERY difficult to answer because I have a handful that I read over and over and over. Oh man. Oh man! Okay, picking one at random, The Suite Life by Cartwrite. It's literally what I described above almost - this slow paced, slice of life thing that has no huge peril but is this comforting exploration of the development of a relationship with perfect characterisation and real warmth and that is my absolute VIBE for all eternity.

22 notes • Posted 2021-09-20 18:45:28 GMT

#4

The Rod-Straight Highway by goldleaf

It’s a heated tactical retreat, really. Shrubs, ruins. Gate, over there, somewhere, Rodney had waved his arm vaguely and almost got his fingers shot off.

***

I did it! Another Fictober prompt in October!

This one is for prompt 8: This is it, isn't it?

22 notes • Posted 2021-10-31 19:44:01 GMT

#3

The Golden Hour by goldleaf

John sits down heavily having retrieved more drinks; they slip and slop on the little tray he’s liberated from one of the locals and he’s loose and giggly in that way that he gets which is never and he doesn’t seem to notice or care that his thigh is pressed up against Rodney’s and Rodney thinks, I’m not drunk enough for this, and downs his (worryingly fruity) drink in one swallow because he might as well make a start.

***

Fictober Prompt 11: "I swear, it's not always like this."

22 notes • Posted 2021-10-10 18:49:24 GMT

#2

Hello friends please grant me the strength and I mean really send those vibes out into the aether because I’ve still not rewatched Vegas since like 2014 and I just need the emotional fortitude okay because it’s been so long that it’ll be like watching it for the first time again and i can’t HANDLE IT

28 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 21:21:57 GMT

#1

I've found myself drawn back into the SGA fandom after 8 or so(?) years. Is it cheating to ask for your tumblr crushes? Or at least some good SGA McShep-leaning blogs/authors to follow?

Sorry for the delay in replying Anon! Welcome back to the fandom! (I say, having been here ten minutes.) OH MAN like, my entire friends list are some excellent McShep/Atlantis folks and my dash is a wondrous cornucopia of content on the daily! @a-storm-of-roses @alienfuckeronmain @carsonsweebabyturtles @cassiope25 @hewwwwkayyyy @mckaysrodney @sparrowsarus @atlantis-scribe @dedkake@perfica @chaos-monkeyy @frankthesnek TO NAME BUT A FEW of the insanely talented people gracing my screen at any given moment whose blogs I recommend clicking on if you're in the market for beautiful fic and art and discourse and posts and that sweet McShep and Atlantis content we all not-so-secretly crave <3

59 notes • Posted 2021-10-04 20:35:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[smallheathgangsters]

Doomed | Part Two

Masterpost

A/N: I’m sorry you had to wait so long for part 2 and that this seems like a filler, but I promise it isn’t! I also enjoyed writing some soft Bonnie, so please don’t come at me for the lack of action lol.

Tag List: @imgrullas @beautycinders @maggiescarborough @lovemissyhoneybee @ellaestloved @swweett-insanityyy @peaky-fookin-blinders-addict @writeroutoftime @namelesslosers @elisabethisdead @amirahiddleston @sinfulshelbys @yoheyyosup

Pairing: Bonnie Gold x Shelby!Sister Reader

Word Count: 2801

Type: lots of fluff, violence, swearing

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The sound of men cheering, talking loudly and shouting met you, when you pushed open the large entrance to the vehicle factory, in which Tommy and Arthur prepared automobiles for their Russian clients. You knew it was a dream come true for Arthur, working with and on cars being a passion of his and you were happy for your eldest brother. He’d been fighting a lot of demons in the last few years, even though he didn’t want to admit it. And it hurt you to see Tommy banning any personal and emotional battles for the sake of the business, forcing Arthur into a position of having to ignore his feelings, exactly the way Tommy did. But you knew, Arthur was going to break sooner or later. Surely sooner than Tommy.

Your heels clicked on the floor covered in little pools of oil and water, as you walked past the many vehicles, some disassembled, most of them ready for dispatch, towards the hall in the back. You turned around a corner and immediately frowned by the sight that was presented to you.

Around two dozen workers stood around a makeshift boxing ring, following a match going on within the rope. As you got closer, you noticed your two older brothers standing together with Aberama Gold outside the ring, watching the fight take place.

You cursed under your breath, remembering Mr. Gold’s words about seeing each other again soon. The killings at John’s funeral had only been the start of the alliance.

You already dreaded the encounter with Gold after ignoring the handshake he’d offered you when you’d first met. After all, he’d saved you from being shot by the Italian. Meaning, he was the reason you were still alive, and you honestly hadn’t thought about it too much. Until now.

You went around the ring, walking in the direction of Tommy and not paying any attention to the two men throwing and dodging punches. When you stood behind your brother, you tapped him on his shoulder. Startled, he whipped his head around. “What are you doing here?”

“Polly sent me. She’s calling a meeting.”

“Can it wait? I’m busy.”

You scoffed. “With what? Arranging weird boxing matches in the vehicle factory?”

With that, you finally threw a gaze at the boxers. Your breath got caught in your throat when you spotted Bonnie stripped down to his undershirt, hands stuck in red gloves. His movements were quick and even though he wasn’t sending a lot of hits, he somehow seemed to know what he was doing. The only thing concerning you was the obvious fact that his opponent was a heavyweight. And Bonnie clearly wasn't even close to being a heavyweight. The sight made you gulp, and worry settled in your stomach.

“What is Bonnie doing in there?” you gasped, eyes wide in disbelief.

Tommy just shrugged. “That’s what we’re going to see.”

“Your boy knows he can hit back, right?” you heard Arthur tease. Aberama, who was standing next to Arthur, luckily unable to spot you from that position, was quick to respond. “Told him in the professional game people want their money’s worth, don’t win too fast.”

Aberama’s eyes were fixed on his son, watching him carefully. Bonnie swung out and landed a precise hit on the opponent’s face. Another punch followed, only a split second later.

“But if you’ve seen enough …” Aberama said, still not taking his concentrated gaze away from the match. “Finish it, Bonnie!”

That seemed to have been Bonnie’s cue. The larger man hit his gloves together, preparing himself for what was coming. But only a few moments later, it was clear that there hadn’t been a chance for him to prepare himself for what Bonnie was able to do. The heavyweight lunged forward, missing Bonnie by a lot, his fist hitting plain air. That mistake gave Bonnie the chance to take over control and surprise him with powerful strikes into his abdomen. Stunned, the man stumbled backwards, moving his hands to shield his face from the attack. But Bonnie was quicker. He sent a punch from below and then a last one directly at his temple, knocking him out completely.

“Fuck me, that was a punch,” you heard Arthur exclaim, while one of the workers ran up to the heavyweight to help his slumped body onto his feet again. “What’s he got, horseshoes in those gloves or what?”

“No,” Aberama replied, ducking under the rope to get inside the ring, “just his dad’s strength and his mother’s temper.”

Aberama helped his son out of his boxing gloves before Arthur and Tommy moved closer to the Gold’s. That was when you moved a few steps backwards, but not too far away from the scene. You were too intrigued.

“Does he have fits?” Tommy asked.

“No.”

“Asthma?”

Aberama denied again.

“How’s he cut?” Arthur questioned.

“Well, no one’s cut him yet, but his skin’s think.”

You scoffed at the way Bonnie’s father answered all the questions. It just showed you how much control Aberama seemed to have over his son, just like Tommy did with you. Families like yours and Bonnie’s clearly functioned very likewise.

“Does he drink?” Another question from Tommy.

“Water, sometimes.”

“How many fights?”

“Twenty-five, bareknuckle, all knockouts. Five with gloves in pastures, all knockouts,” Aberama boasted, his eyes, filled with a proud gaze, moved back and forth between Tommy and Arthur.

Arthur cleared his throat. “Against Romani fighters?”

“That’s why they won’t let us in the fairs no more, he keeps winning,” Aberama replied, right before Bonnie interrupted with a comment of his own. “I could fight a fucking tree and knock it out, Mr. Shelby.”

His son’s words made Aberama chuckle pridefully and throw an arm around him. Arthur snickered in response to Bonnie’s statement. “I like him, I like him.”

Suddenly you felt somebody push themselves past you, towards your brothers. It was Tommy’s assistant.

You watched him lean forward and whisper something to Tommy. Your brother nodded and answered in a tone, just as quiet. The assistant then ran off, up the stairs to one of the meeting rooms.

Bonnie and his father moved from one side of the ring to the other, giving Arthur and Tommy some time and space to stick their heads together about the boxing matter. You decided to join your brothers, curious about what was going on.

“What was this all about?” you asked, stepping out of your spot behind one of the large wooden pillars in the hall.

“Bonnie wants to fight and we’re deciding on whether we’re going to help or not,” Tommy replied, looking over to the Gold’s.

You let out a scoff. “You mean control him, not help him.”

Tommy let his blue eyes wander back to you, the usual unimpressed, blank stare plastered on them. “Everything I do is business, Y/N.”

“I just want you to see him as a person,” you said, a reproachful tone in your voice. You watched as your brother slightly rolled his eyes.

“Why do you care?” Arthur asked, a little confused about you getting involved in the boxing subject.

You rolled your bottom lips between your teeth. “He seems nice, Arthur. And kind. Something my family often seems to lack.”

Arthur frowned at your remark. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying, Arthur.”

Tommy seemed to have enough of your opinion and put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, guiding him a bit away from you to talk in private. You watched as they discussed Bonnie’s performance and how they could profit off of it.

It didn’t take long for them to call over Bonnie and Aberama and by the way Arthur pulled out a bundle of cash and started counting the notes, you knew they had agreed on working with the Gold boy. And just before Tommy sped off to the office upstairs, he handed Bonnie a cap. “You’re a Peaky Blinder now, son.”

You noticed Bonnie sending his father an unsure look, but eventually put on the cap when Aberama took the money from Arthur’s hands. The deal was settled, and you weren’t sure how to feel about it. Weirdly enough, you were anxious about Bonnie being a Peaky Blinder now. Anxious for the son of a dangerous hitman. The more you thought about it, the more ridiculous it got.

You’d been so caught up in your mind, that you hadn’t noticed the Gold men approaching you. When you lifted your gaze, Arthur was nowhere to be seen.

“Came here to finally properly introduce yourself to us?” Aberama sneered. Bonnie nudged his father, his face showed a hint of embarrassment. “Dad, c’mon.”

You shook your head. “No, it’s okay. I really should apologise.”

Aberama lifted his eyebrows in surprise. He probably didn’t expect a Shelby to ask for forgiveness. At least not this quick.

“I’m aware that I … let’s say, owe you my life in a way? And I wanted to thank you,” you said, a slightly shaky hand pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. You weren’t used to apologising. Being a Peaky Blinder meant you weren’t sorry. For anything. But since you started to distance yourself more and more from being solely associated with your family name, you actually truly wanted to apologise.

“And I’m Y/N, by the way.”

You carefully held out your hand, knowing very well you had left Aberama hanging when he’d introduced himself to you. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to have any bad feelings left, accepting your hand, gripping it firmly and shaking it. Then, he sent you a confirming nod and let go of your hand. “You’re not like the rest of your family, are you?”

“I take that as a compliment,” you said, a small smile creeping onto your face.

Aberama didn’t respond, simply tipping his hat and walking off, leaving you and Bonnie to yourselves.

Your eyes followed Aberama for a while, before they eventually landed on the pretty man in front of you.

“I’m impressed,” you stated, giving him a wider smile than the one you gave his father.

“Have you been watching the entire time?” Bonnie chuckled, scratching the back of his head a little awkwardly.

You nodded. “Polly sent me to call a meeting, but it seems as though neither Tommy nor Arthur felt addressed by it.”

Bonnie let another chuckle escape his lips.

“Anyway,” you said, “I see that you’re one of us now.”

“I am and I’m excited to start training as soon as possible,” Bonnie responded, a wide grin on his face. There was no doubt, that boxing made him happy. A happiness you were still searching for. Making you feel a tiny bit jealous.

Angry at your reaction to his cheerfulness, you swallowed down the lump in your throat. “It doesn’t look like you’ll be following in your father’s footsteps.”

Bonnie shook his head, taking off the cap and running his strong hands through his dark, curly hair. “No, but I don’t think he minds. My goal is to be a professional.”

“I like that, you know?”

“You do?”

You hummed. “I’m not planning on doing anything even close to what my family are doing. Trying to get away from the business, but with the situation we’re in at the moment, that’s not an option. Not right now, at least.”

Bonnie rolled up the cap with his hands. “I didn’t see you at Charlie’s yard after the funeral.”

You sighed. “I needed some time … to myself.”

“I understand,” Bonnie said, giving you a weak smile of comfort. “I’m sorry, about your brother.”

Bonnie’s words sent an unfamiliar warmth to your chest. It reminded you of the feeling you had gotten sat behind him on his horse. So many people had offered their condolences to you, but none of them felt like they truly meant it.

And then there was Bonnie.

“And I’m sorry for what happened at Charlie’s Yard,” you mumbled, looking down at the ground sheepishly. He immediately understood that you were talking about his father wanting to buy the boat yard and Tommy making the disgusting move of involving Bonnie’s eldest sister in the deal. The sacred coin.

“You don’t need to apologise on behalf of your brother, Y/N. It had nothing to do with you,” Bonnie promptly replied, lifting your head up with his index and middle finger. The subtle, but intimate gesture made your heart beat faster.

“It was still quite the dick move,” you murmured, trying to escape his mesmerising hazel eyes.

Bonnie laughed. “Yes, it was. But the good thing is, Charlie still has his yard.”

You were in absolute awe of Bonnie’s personality. So positive and kind. The complete opposite of what the Gold’s represented. What is father represented.

“Can I ask you something?”

You tilted your head curiously. “Anything.”

“What did you mean when you told Tommy about feeling safe with me?”

You cursed at yourself internally. You’d almost forgotten that you had said that out loud. It had felt right momentarily, letting go of everything you had been bottling up, but thinking about now made you cringe.

Your desperate tries to avoid his stare were useless. All of his attention was directed at you, burning into your skin, impossible for you ignore. So, you looked up and met his gaze.

“Can I like … take it back?” you chuckled, trying to turn the topic into something funny.

He grinned, shaking his head. “Fuck no.”

You let out a groan, burying your head in your hands. “I just really loved your company, for a change.”

Bonnie let out a laugh. “Only for a change?”

You moved your head back up, rolling your eyes, with a grin on your lips. “You know what I mean. You’re different and I like that.”

“Different because I don’t want to cut out people’s eyes and shoot them in the head for a living?”

You giggled. “Yes, that too. But mostly because you care. I knew you cared about me being safe, back at the funeral. And I knew you meant it, when you said you were sorry for what happened to my brother.”

Bonnie seemed to be overwhelmed by your confession, a cute shade of pink appearing on his cheeks. “Uh– I’m glad you felt that way. Although, I am concerned that you feel like nobody else cares about you.”

“It’s not that,” you sighed, your voice traced with sadness. “I just hate the way everything is about business. It’s as if feelings and emotions are prohibited in this family.”

You heard Bonnie sigh as well. Then, he put a hand on your upper arm, giving it a squeeze. Gentle enough to comfort you, strong enough to let you know you weren’t alone.

“Would you like a hug?”

Bonnie cleared his throat, when he noticed you staring at him in surprise. “I’m sorry if this was awkward, I–“

“No,” you cut him off, “I would really like a hug.”

The way he had asked you, had made your stomach erupt in thousands of butterflies. Tickling your insides in a manner that was wonderful and annoying at the same time. The way he didn’t just pull you into an embrace without making sure you were comfortable with the closeness.

Bonnie smiled down at you and let go of your arm before wrapping his muscular arms around you. Your cheek was softly pressed against his chest and his pleasant scent made its way into your nose, briefly numbing every part of your body.

Too early, Bonnie pulled back again. “Feeling a little bit better?”

“A lot,” you admitted, sensing your cheeks imitating the colour Bonnie’s had before. Although you were convinced it wasn’t the same sweet pink, but a deep cherry red.

“You’re very beautiful, you know that?” Bonnie suddenly said.

You placed your cool hands on your flushed cheeks, trying to calm them down, but it was useless. The heat just travelled further to your ears, making this whole encounter even more embarrassing for you.

“Are you flirting with me, Bonnie Gold?” you asked.

He laughed. “Of course, I am! Would’ve been very awkward if you were that oblivious.”

You playfully hit his arm and opened your mouth to respond to his cheeky remark, but were suddenly interrupted by a loud voice.

“Bonnie! Let the lady be, we need to get going!”

Aberama’s voice resounded in the wide, open factory hall. Bonnie pinched the bridge of his nose in slight annoyance.

“I need to get going,” he announced. You chuckled. “I heard.”

“Even if it doesn’t seem like it, I’m not dependent on my father.”

Your chuckle turned into laughter. “Understood.”

Then, he sent you a last, beautiful smile, his white, gorgeous teeth shining from behind his lips. “I’ll see you around. I’ll make sure of it.”

[icewindandboringhorror]

Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~ 

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!! 

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!! 

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???)   But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now). 

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future! 

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place 

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously?? 

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded�� and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute  point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol... 

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess.  I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol.. 

 If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol..  T u T ;; 

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~ 

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!) 

7.  ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point. 

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense? 

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol??  And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair  (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.  

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two). 

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc.  I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.) 

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so  I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas,  but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..  

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it. 

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman   

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...  

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not  mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc.  ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions, 

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol. 

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** *** 

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is ) 

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group. 

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently - 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On  lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one! 

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys... 

[bramblepaws]

HHRHHGH mumbled annoyances abt the bcb discord below the cut

idk if i should put this in the tag or not............idk, people will find it maybe, if they dont that may be for the best LOL

im gonna pull the constructive part out of the complaining so if all ur looking for is that, here:

- I’d like there to be more work done to keep people on-topic in the channels - Should really be separate channels for BCB-specific art and general art - Having a channel or a set of channels that’re for Adults to talk about the comic would be great (obviously no nsfw talk, but more mature themes are able to be discussed like mental illness, sexual harassment / assault, abuse, etc)

the next chunk is just me complaining, skip to the last section if you just wanna see What I’d Do Differently

i finally left the bcb discord today because Jesus Christ there is literally NO channel where people don’t spam shit i dont care about

started out following Every BCB-related channel, that turned out to be way too cluttered so i muted everything but the two bcb discussions channels, the bulletin channel, and the art channel

but people FREQUENTLY go off-topic in the bcb discussion channels. and also are like, weirdly inflammatory about what they say? honestly it just seems like a lot of people in the discord are Really Young, which is fine, but i wish there was a channel for like. adults to discuss the comic. because i get young people having an interest in it and im All For That, but it often led to a lot of really immature shit happening? and maybe the perpetrators of that weren’t young, maybe they were just immature

but like there’d regularly be shit posted in the discussion chat (for theories! and opinions! about the comic! which sounds great! until u go into it!) that was like.... “i’d love to just punch lucy” “mike can die in a fire” “david is the worst” etc. like .. i like, hearing people’s opinions, but, jesus? can we not like. talk about our opinions on different characters without resorting to That

plus people went off topic ssssooooo frequently, you’d start off in one channel talking about mike/lucy and all their problems and then it’d somehow switch to one person telling everyone else they were idiots for not seeing that lucy is garbage and THEN it’d switch to some random topic. 

even in The Place For Art people went off topic a LOT (one time i contributed to the conversation and that was the only time i saw anyone get called out for posting in the wrong channel, ironically, dkjgnfkjgndf MY BAD THO FOR ENCOURAGING IT)

not to mention people spam the “show me old art” command in the art room and like..... Blease. please go do that in the room that’s Specifically For Bot Commands

also i’d really like to see an art room for General Art and a room for BCB-specific art. im only there for the bcb art. specifically for the NEW bcb art. 

i guess my biggest frustration with it was just how often it Wasn’t about bcb, even tho bcb was all i was there for? idk it wouldve been nice to have discussions with people, but the few discussions i got involved in got WAY out of hand really quickly (with people zooming off topic or guilt-tripping others or saying characters should die). better organization of channels would also be nice. idk. 

back to semi-constructive: 

if i made my own bcb discord server (which i wont, because that’d be rude to the creators who put a bunch of time / effort into making this one), here’s how i’d do it:

Area for general topics, not related to BCB. - General (where Whatever can be talked about) - General Art - Bot room (bot commands used) - Meme room - Music room (song recs, playlists, maybe videos) - Maybe a room for discussing / recommending other comics. - Maybe a room /specifically/ for venting in bc people seem to like doing that 

Area for BCB specific topics. - General BCB (just talking about Whatever in relation to the comic, can even be shitposts/memes as long as they’re on-topic) - Page Update Room (nobody BUT the page updater can talk, that way people can have alerts to this on w/o getting clutter) - Discussion room (talking about the characters / the story, making sure to include in the rules that saying shit like “x character sucks” and “x character should die / get beat up” is not cool, as well as rules abt Being Nice To Vero) - BCB art room where candybooru posts are shared (as they’re uploaded) and people can share their bcb-specific art

Area for Real Adults (over 18 at least, maybe even pushing it to 21 & over) - General - BCB-specific discussion (can just talk about bcb in a place where There Aren’t Kids) - BCB-specific Extra Adult Discussion (talk specifically about mature topics like mental illness/etc)

and then i’d have mods that like regularly pushed people into the right channels or encourage everyone to keep each other in check. 

idk i think that’s it...... if i think of anything else to add i’ll do that,,, later

i might like. ask oliver if i can make an adults-only BCB channel (specifically banning nsfw art/talk tho) that’s more for like... discussion and such that is More Mature. maybe. idk. i’m gonna have time once im Out Of College

and a final disclaimer: im not Against kids liking the comics, im just in a very different place from people younger than me in like... how i view the topics. in fact im in a Very Different Place from me 3 years ago wanting to talk about the comic. so if ur young and you like the comic that’s fine! it’s good! i just want to be able to Also talk abt it with my peers

oh and another final disclaimer: i know Oliver is doing his best w/ like.. running this discord & keeping up with everything, it seems like A Lot. fully no shade intended here, i just wanted to like air my personal grievances with the discord. & i understand that a lot of my frustration is due to.... the type of people that post the most in the discord. which is why i’d vote for a Mature Area (god i sound pretentious saying that, im so sorry). 

[junkobears]

Here Lies Dreaded V3 Discourse

So I have seemed to cause a huge kerfuffle in the hardcore Ouma conspiracy theorists standom, and a banal (if condescending, but seeing the response to it honestly justifies it more than anything now. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it”, you better believe I can take it and will now PROPERLY dish it out right back at you) comment about one of Tsumugi’s anime references has led to someone launching a hilariously personal attack at me for Daring To Disagree With A Theory That Was Posted On A Public Website. Someone who I wasn’t even initially responding too, at that. And has now blocked me before even allowing me to respond and clarify my original comments. Don’t want to deal with the consequences of being a repugnant, rude person I guess? Shock and surprise for Tumblr.

The link to the post is here, but I’ve taken the liberty to screenshot it just in case it gets deleted later, in hope that maybe there’ll be some reflection on this person’s part that this really is not an acceptable way to respond to people who have a dissenting opinion? Anyways, I will be responding to the personal attack post and that will be the last time I interact with this group, because clearly it’s not worth it to actually have a discussion about our respective ending theories. I ain’t got time beyond this for tedious insecure fucks these days.

Anyways, my response is under the cut to save my poor followers’ dashes. Sorry to drag drama onto my blog but I can’t really let this slide. I’m also tagging @jacks-plays-drv3 just because I assume the twin comes with the other with these two, and I want my response to have been seen.

Screenshot In This Link - This post is long enough without the image taking up more space, haha.

Let’s start with this mess, shall we? And I will go into painstaking detail.

Paragraph 1: So this already starts off with a whole lot of needless aggression and projection. So I’m not even going to attempt to be nice back. But: maybe I haven’t proven anything because I literally had not typed up a response to clarify my original comments @ Jacks yet before the rabid attack dog was unleashed? Like, there was literally no attempt from you to have a discussion that was a genuine offer from me, I was not out to get you actually. I also honestly just laughed at being called shallow, JUST LIKE THAT HORRIBLE CHARACTER TSUMUGI SHIROGANE right off the bat as well. That’s a compliment really, honey. Weirdly I don’t share the same opinions as you do. Tsumugi is my fave and unlike you I actually think about and HAVE analyzed/discussed her character in detail previously, which I would’ve been happy to share had you not immediately went into Blind Raging Idiot Mode. Guess we can’t have it all, huh?

As for needing proof that she makes the Flashback Lights... nevermind the CG that literally shows her making them during Chapter 6, but do you have proof that Monokuma is the person who makes the Lights instead of just placing them for the students? I doubt it, somehow. Cuz a lot of your theories don’t actually have any concrete proof. Quelle surprise. Probably why anyone not immediately on board with your headcanon gets you so goddamn angry, huh? Cuz it’s completely baseless and you know it at heart.

As for the Ouma comments, actually I have read the assorted creator comments regarding his character even if you like to believe I’m a slobbering moron who turned my brain off as soon as I finished V3, so yes I already know that his name was chosen to sound mastermind-like. Maybe this was to emphasize and make his fake mastermind reveal appear more legit on first read? JUST A THOUGHT, SWEETIE. You know the entire fucking point of Chapter 5? You’re so slavishly devoted to your theory that you actually are incapable of reading the basic fucking text from the actual game, but again. Not a surprise. Considering what I’ve read from your blog (really, who are you again? I only knew Jacks’ blog from before all this, so you taking such a personal offense at my comments is honestly hilarious but baffling at the same time. It ain’t all about you, babe.)

As for the lab door, here’s an simpler explanation (Occam’s Razor, look it up): The star sign constellation pattern was there as a hint for the player to connect Ouma’s messages from his dorm room to the vault in Amami’s lab once its opened and you can see the star signs in there. Or perhaps it was designed like that by TDR to make the students make that connection as well in the original script and think that Ouma was the mastermind cuz of the connection to Amami’s lab? Literally, there are a lot of possibilities, cuz it’s a NOTHING DETAIL THAT DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER IN THE BIG PICTURE. Considering Kodaka’s track record with writing these games I don’t actually believe it’s anything major, personally. He doesn’t really strike me as the type to hide this completely separate story underneath the actual story we got, and with such vague nothing “”””””””””””clues””””””””””””. You and Jacks do yourselves (well you already do cuz you love to jack yourselves off with how CLEVER AND BETTER you are than the rest of us plebs), sure, in believing otherwise (You have way too much faith in him as a writer. Or you’re desperately trying to pretend V3 wasn’t poorly written cuz you don’t like the Ch. 6 twist) but also realize that its nothing more than extrapolation on your part that it actually means anything beyond the.... SHALLOW (horror scream) connection given in-game.

And really, who the fuck cares if it doesn’t match the title of ‘Supreme Leader’? It’s already a ridiculous talent as it stands already. The entire point of his character is that everything about him, his motives and his talent is contradictory and weird. That’s why I like him, actually. He isn’t an abused martyr who never lies like you goons believe and he also isn’t the evil monstrous chessmaster some of the fandom thinks. It’s Complex Motives™ .

Anyways moving on. Pointing out an anime reference =/= DISREGARDING PEOPLE’S ANALYSIS. Pointing out that most of the plot leads up to and supports the fiction twist =/= uncritically agreeing with everything Tsumugi says. Actually, after examining the game’s story for myself I came to the conclusion that all the clues in it really only support her version of the story, really. There are a few things I think she lied about, but it is not CONCLUSIVELY proven she lied in my opinion and so I don’t really give a fucking toss until new canon comes out and reveals more of the V3 story. Oumatwin don’t real, gurl. If there was actually anything in-game beyond one obvious joke line in the NON-CANON!!!!!!! bonus mode supporting that he existed, maybe I’d respect your theory more. Even though you don’t deserve respect after your little tantrum. 

Paragraph 2: Jesus I already am investing way too much time into this response at people who don’t actually deserve it, oh well. But laughing hard at the attempt to try and act as if you weren’t being a snobby asshole with your comments. Again, HUGE AMOUNTS OF PROJECTION at me about things I literally have never done and said. I have never interacted with you or Jacks prior to my initial comment. No fucking clue why you brought up the SaiOuma shit, cuz I don’t even LIKE Saihara as a character and don’t like that fujobait ship in the slightest? But I guess it’s easier to assume that all your critics are the exact same fucking person with the same opinions, so you can feel more persecuted, huh? You literally did not even wait for me to respond or check my blog that would’ve easily disproven these dumb-as-fuck assumptions. And get off the fucking high horse (pun completely intended), you lot are not the only people in this fandom who are capable of critical thought. How completely self-obsessed can you be? 

For someone who claims to have a lot of critical thinking skills compared to this nasty fandom, you really are terrible at parsing other people’s words. You fucking know when I said “group of anime fans” that I was referring to Team Danganronpa, the organization literally mentioned in game as running the game. The group Tsumugi is part of. She literally has a company badge FFS. THEY ARE ANIME FANS. THEY ALL STARTED KILLING GAMES CUZ THEY ALL LOVE THIS SHITTY SERIES. I can’t believe this had to be explained. And the rest of this paragraph word salad is the most pedantic argument. It’s really not hard to believe an organization in this series would have access to all this tech. And yes, it’s a popular TV show in-universe, of course it’ll have funding. And the whole damn point of the ending is that the V3 world is consuming fiction the wrong way by having real-life killing games, missing the entire point of the DR series and fiction in general? What’s your actual point?

Paragraph 3: Again more assumptions, I wasn’t ‘crying’ about being called gullible. I was just pointing it out as part of your extremely unnecessary smug dismissal of my post. That you really haven’t disproved at all, btw. Honestly the childish response you both had to me just makes me laugh out of pity more than anything. And if I was really upset I wouldn’t have offered to have a discussion with you or even continued to reply after Jacks initial (vague) post about what I said. So don’t put words in my mouth. And yes my analysis was not completed in my initial comments. It’s Tumblr fucking replies, I can’t fit the entire fucking dissertation of Tsumugi opinions in there for you to jeer at in there. Again, I offered to share my opinions and got this as a response, so lol. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to trying to get people to take you and your theories seriously. 

Paragraph 4: Especially since you immediately jump to PULLING THINGS OUT OF YOUR ASS (seriously, fucking snorted at this part. I want this whole diatribe on my fucking gravestone. It’s by far the most hilariously petty thing ever said about me on this site.) instead of letting me explain my position. If you just want to be in the creepy cult Oumatwin echo chamber you should’ve just said and blocked me ASAP instead of word salading vague bullshit justifications for why actually people who disagree with you are just stupid crybabies who can never hope to understand your genius. Again, my initial comments didn’t whine about not being taken seriously at all, I was pointing out the hypocrisy/rudeness is all. And again, get off the high horse about critical thinking. I have thought about Tsumugi’s character and how she relates to the over-arching plot and how truthful it is, and the overall ‘mystery’ of V3 (spoiler: there is none. it was all solved by chapter 6). I have thought about this game. In fact I dedicate too much time to critical analysis of this series that doesn’t actually deserve it cuz lately I find Kodaka to be a hack writer. Your assumptions are flat-out wrong, dear. And AGAIN. I WOULD’VE. SHARED AND DISCUSSED IN MORE DETAIL HAD I BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY. But rude fucks gonna vomit shit out of their mouth cuz they have literally no self-control and have meltdowns at the slightest difference of opinion, I guess. 

Your extreme hatred for Tsumugi as a character truly shines through. Clearly no thought has been put into her from your end, even though you and Jacks rage about people not taking Ouma seriously as a character. Double standards as always with fujos. Nothing I’m not used too, she is incredibly unpopular in this fandom. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So I’m not even mad at that. I have never said otherwise. Even you and Jacks are valid in having your own theories and thoughts. The ending of V3 is designed entirely so everyone can analyze the game for themselves and draw their own conclusions about the story and themes. That’s the whole point. Even though I personally dislike that as a writing decision on Kodaka’s part because I would prefer the story to be conclusively ended and the epilogue is a giant turd that misses the entire point of Chapter 6 and enables shit (anal pun intended, dumbass) like this to start spreading as “Analysis”. But hey, to each their own.

However I will not be interacting with either of you again after this post though, even though I was willing to discuss beforehand, because you both have shown yourselves to be incredibly vile with the way you approach other people in this fandom, and especially those who don’t share your conspiracy theory. Despite the absolutely ironic comments I’ve seen from Oumanous in their later, also terrible posts about how you need to understand your opponent before engaging, which they literally failed entirely to do before engaging the firing squad at me and other commentators who responded. So much for the sanctity of discussion, huh? Enjoy your circlejerk. Everyone else who follows me in this fandom though? Please consider blocking these two if you are also a sane human being who is capable of polite discussion/disagreements. They are not worth your time otherwise. They were really not worth my time writing this post, but I felt I had to say something.

In conclusion: Out with the both of you.

[cinnaminsvga]

Not really a follow forever... more like... a mutual appreciation post? Yeah.

*jin voice* UNBELIEBUBBLE?? H*ly shit? That is one big number if I do say so myself. If each one of my followers donated one chicken nugget to me, I’d be able to eat 30 meals!! That’s insane!!

I started this blog early this year and never really expected it to become anything other than a place to dump my reblogs and occasional shitpost for BTS. Never in my life did I expect people to come to my little corner of this hells*te to read my fics and scenarios, to send me weirdly sexual but relatable asks, to start discourse about mundane topics, or just to scream together in the tags. A lot of stuff has happened over the past few months, both good and bad. Above all else however, I’ve come to meet some extremely talented and wonderful people who have inspired me to become a better person and writer. The number of followers and notes I get are great and all, but the connections I’ve made thanks to this site is really the best gift of them all. Not to be emo, but you all have made a huuuuuge impact on my life, whether I talk to you everyday or if you just quietly like my posts and check up on my blog every so often. Under the cut are just some special mentions of people who I just had to thank personally because they’ve honestly been the best part of being in this community!! (also ADVANCED APOLOGIES IF I FORGET TO MENTION ANYONE!! JUST KNOW THAT IF I’VE EVER TALKED TO YOU EVEN FOR 2 NANOSECONDS, YOU STILL HAVE A PLACE IN THIS LIST!! I LOVE YOU!!)

Firstly, @ediblesuga or @lilacjihoon or whatever the fuck URL you want me to tag you in (bitch this is what you get for having one million URLs): CAITLIN MY WONDERFUL BUT DEMONIC BEST FRIEND ON THIS DAMN SITE!! You are without a doubt the best thing to have ever happened to me during my 10-ish months writing here for BTS. To think that it all started with you being nice to me after reading my two first fics and now here we are,,, talking about goats and **** and me taking every opportunity to piss you off with my reaction memes and whatnot. But despite all the banter we do, I know that the connection we have is indispensable. I’ll forever be your demonic hoe 🤧

@btsaeipathy or @deboracorrea25: DEBY MY DARLING!! You are without a doubt the sweetest and kindest person I have ever met. To think that it was almost 5 months ago when we first talked about Filipino dramas!! And look at you!! Now you’re a writer in your own right, and I still remember when you asked me to read your first Hoseok scenario before you posted it. You will forever be one of my dearest friends, and I’m so proud of how much you’ve grown on this site. I love you!!

@mintlattaes: MY LITTLE BAB SOPH 🤧 Not a day goes by when I don’t think back to how cute you were when you sent me your first message!! It was back when I was still living in the PH, and we didn’t have much of a time difference, so I’m sorry I can’t always be there to talk!! Just know that I’m always proud of you and that I love you to bits!!

@catandlovelyfish: Ah of course, my wonderful and talented songstress; how could I not mention you? Whenever I receive your spurts of messages talking about your day, I find myself just smiling fondly at your enthusiasm. Even though I can’t always relate to your problems because I don’t quite understand your scene, I’m still glad that you take the time to tell me about your troubles anyway!! I love you my dude, and I know you’ll do well in life. Good luck with your parade!!

@sugachki: My Sunny Honey!! Oh my Lord look at you go!! Writing your own fics after weeks of you asking me for advice (HAHA); you were the cutest lil thing!! It makes me immensely proud to see you writing your own stuff and seeing you take some of my advice to heart. I’m so so so excited to see you grow and mature as a fanfiction writer, so please know that you’ll always have a loyal reader in me!! I love you!!

12 hour nap anon: MY POKEMON LOVING FRIEND!! HOW COULD I NOT MENTION YOU? Even though you’re not much of an anon to me anymore (since I know who you are lol), you are still an honorary anon to me! Thank you for tolerating my rambling on Pokemon and video games and just generally reading and supporting my stuff! Every time I see a new notification in my inbox, I always hope to God that it’s one of your sweet messages!! Thank you so much for being such a sweet person!!

Also, here are some other lovely lovely people whom I have met over the months and I just had to mention as well! Please know I love you all very much and I appreciate every single interaction that we’ve had. You all mean the world to me, and I hope the remaining days of 2017 will be as good to you as you were to me!!

@gukbae // @sweaterpawsyoongi // @yoongihime // @gukyi // @motionlessyoongz // @hobigolightly // @back2mochi // @kittae // @army-author // @blameitonsuga // @sugaroons // @cinnaminsuga-kookie // @itsawonderfulsakujo // @forever-young-got7 // @jeonsneha // @jollyjikook

special mention to: my rosie anon who is apparently my mutual (I’M STILL CONFUSED WHO ARE YOU), as well as roxy my other child!! i love you both!!

[kimmysfandomblog]

So Nae/giri, Kamu/koma, Toukomaru and Kii/ruma for the ship meme ? :P You can do all of them or pick the ones you want to talk about, I just wanted to give you one ship per game ~

Thank you so much for the ask Serahne!!! :D I’d be more than happy to do them all!!!

From here: https://kimmysfandomblog.tumblr.com/post/168063250112/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-give-you-my-brutally

Since there’s 4, I’m gonna have to put it under the cut! And they got very long, sorry ^^;

obviously, V3 spoilers for the last one!

Nae/giri (+)

So, funny thing about me: I actually started DR with the Animation (I hadn’t even known a game existed at the time). Anyways, because it’s an anime, you don’t get those free time events, and everything is much, much faster. Basically…. I’m a real dunce when it comes to romance, so I hadn’t even realized Nae/giri was pretty heavily hinted at ^^; I spent most of the time thinking Kirigiri was gonna betray Naegi (which… I mean I wasn’t completely wrong, kinda? XD She didn’t mean to throw him under the bus at all, of course).

Now, I didn’t ship anyone in DR by the time I finished the anime. I’d seen it mostly as friendships, and that Naegi and Kirigiri’s was the strongest one. I don’t know when exactly it sprung on me that, hey, this is a ship!!!, but my best guess is that it wasn’t until I stumbled across DR again when it came out on Steam. A let’s player I kind of visit occasionally was playing the game and I got sucked into nostalgia, and he did Kirigiri’s FTEs. It was probably during that time that I recognized this was definitely a ship, one that was practically canon, and that actually, I’m okay with it, and even like it! If two characters like each other, and can support each other this well, then why not?

I’m not the biggest Naeg/iri fan (that spot for favorite DR1 ship belongs to another pairing, but admittedly it’s more of a pre-canon ship). I’ll admit, a part of me still thinks Naegi forgives Kirigiri too easily after all he’d been through, but if he gave her a hard time, he wouldn’t be Naegi! And I was a little salty she threw him under the bus, but Kirigiri made a mistake, acknowledges it, and even returns the favor back to him! It wasn’t even really her fault (she clearly didn’t know what would happen or she would have definitely let herself be sacrificed), so I forgive her, too!

If DR3 proved anything about Naeg/iri, it’s that Naegi and Kirigiri very clearly care for one another, and are able to balance each other out. They understand each other so well, and I’d say they definitely like, probably even love, each other. So, given canon events throughout the series, I ship it! It’s been good for both of them, the way I see it! I sincerely hope they continue to care and love each other post canon, too. They both deserve happiness after all they’ve been through together!

Kamu/Koma (-)

Okay, this one… this one actually irks me, I’m sorry to say. I know Kamukura is Hinata, and I definitely ship Koma/Hina, but Kamu/Koma…. it’s very different. I’ve read Kamu/Koma fics, and seen the fanart, (and sometimes I actually like the fanwork). I get why people like it. However, to me, it’s a very unbalanced ship.

Ko’s obsession with Hope and Talent, with Kamukura being the embodiment of Talent, and of the Hope Ko originally fixates on, makes it much too unbalanced because Kamukura is given all the power in this relationship. Not only that, but it would be Ko constantly trying to be useful to Kamukura, or trying to make things interesting for Kamukura. And Kamukura, well, I can’t see him reciprocating or giving back much. Kamukura’s kinda weird, as in he’s pretty selfish in a way. Maybe he’d do things back for Ko, but would he mean it? Would Ko even know if Kamukura cared? It doesn’t help that the majority of the fanworks don’t really do anything to disprove how I feel their relationship would work. People write/draw fanart for Kamu/Koma using this power play: Ko revering Kamukura like a god, doing demeaning things for him, or being like his housewife or maid or something, and Kamukura kind of staring blankly back, or barely reciprocating or acknowledging any of it. It’s also portrayed very sexually (?), with no amount of fluff, and I end up feeling sorry for Ko. I really can’t ship something this one-sided where only one person has affection for the other, or at the very least, where it’s difficult to see how affectionate one is for the other.

And, I suppose, another thing is just the fact that I like Haji way more than Kamukura. Sometimes Kamu/Koma shippers portray Haji as the one losing out, the third wheel left behind, or even saying Kamukura should have fully returned. I’m glad, in the end, Haji is seemingly acting like he’s mostly Haji to his friends.

However, I admit that besides how I see the Kamu/Koma dynamic playing out… the really extreme shippers were the reason I can’t stand it most of the time. More than a year ago now, there was this huge shipping war, and at least to me, with the people I was following at the time, it seemed like it was mostly between extreme Kamu/Koma shippers against the extreme Hina/Nami shippers. The sheer hatred and pride at being so hateful disgusted me. I unfollowed a few people that I used to like because of all these scathing remarks against Nami (by that I mean DR2 Nami) and basically mocking the fans for liking and defending her, and then being proud of it, even celebrating it in a congratulating post to themselves. I mean, I know now it was aimed at the Nami lovers that were just as bad as they were being, but it still hurts either way. I wasn’t following anyone that was strictly Hina/Nami at the time, but I did see a lot of Ko discourse flying around, too (and heavily disagreed with them of course). Even after that, people were tagging their hate for Nami and Ko, and the ships. I couldn’t escape it. Maybe I’m over-imagining it, but that’s how I feel about it. I’m glad it’s settled down now that V3 is mostly distracting people from it these days.

As for how I feel about Kamu/Koma today, sometimes seeing Kamu/Koma (or Hina/Nami) makes me cringe, and other times, I find it okay (though it’s mostly the former. I always felt weird about Kamu/Koma because of the power dynamic).

Unrelated: Weirdly enough, even though I don’t like Hina/Nami, I ended up liking Kamu/Nami, but only because AI Kamukura exists ^^; I actually participated in Kamu/Nami week, too, and… yeah I actually like it. My guilty pleasure ship, lol. Just... not so much for Hina/Nami. DR3 Hina/Nami was that bad.

Sorry that answer was very negative, but brutal honesty right? I know I have followers that ship it, and I don’t really mind as long as no one is trying to force me to like it or see it!

Toko/maru (+)

Well, I didn’t like Another Episode as a whole that much, but I did like the interactions between Toko and Komaru a lot. Their friendship was just so good! They were able to help each other, see the faults in each other, and call them out. Komaru helps Toko learn to trust her through her genuine kindness and loyalty, and Toko helps Komaru find solutions and helps break Komaru’s habit of seeing herself as just a normal girl with no way to change what happens around her.

And the ending, where Toko decides to stay with Komaru instead of leaving with Togami? It makes me feel a lot of joy, honestly. Nothing against ToFu, but her choosing Komaru over Togami was great! Like, from what I remember of her FTE’s Toko has had trouble trusting people. Neither of her moms wanted her, and she was even dated as a part of a dare. Her moms and that boy both treated her nicely, but they actually didn’t like her (actually I wonder about the moms, but I’ll have to revisit those FTEs eventually). The reason she is so infatuated with Togami probably has to do with how rudely he treats her, on top of being the SHSL Heir. If he got with her, it would be like a romance novel come to life, and he wouldn’t be pretending to like her. However, it’s unrealistic the way it is in canon. Togami may be getting better, but at least at the point canon left off, he still needs some work.

I’m very glad Toko has Komaru. Komaru treats her normally instead of being scared off or angry at Toko’s accusations and jokes, and she openly shows how much she cares about Toko. I can see Tokomaru both as a strong friendship, or a future romantic relationship, given time. And, based on the one DR3 episode, it seems like their bond has done nothing but grow! They trust in each other and work really well together. May they remain this close or more post-canon!

Kii/ruma (+)

I don’t know if anyone was expecting this to be appealing? I usually don’t like the characters that spew vulgarities, so I thought I’d never like Miu. I was so wrong! And, knowing what I did, I never thought I’d ship her with Kiibo, who’s just… so pure??? I remember, back when I was trying to avoid spoilers, that one CG where Miu was apparently performing maintenance came up, and I totally misjudged it. 

However, this game… it subverted my expectations. The CG was not as uncomfortable as I thought! Miu got a bit too close, and I’m 99% sure she knew what she was saying and how it could sound, and Kiibo just came for maintenance, and he doesn’t really get the double meanings to her words, but somehow ends up saying things that could be suggestive too XD It was so funny! I honestly thought, upon getting spoiled that CG before playing, that he wasn’t consenting to whatever was going on, but while I can’t say it was “innocent,” it was clearly not that bad. And after that, Miu is introduced to the Neo World Program and Kiibo gets jealous of the computer XD To try to get the most out of my V3 experience, I actually went up to every character each FT to get their “FTE starter,” so I know he’s always been either in the hall right before the computer room, or (not much farther away from there) next to the three empty rooms. I’m pretty sure the first FTE of that chapter, he even gets defensive over his not-jealousy of a computer, lol!!! There was also that part in Chapter 4, before going to the Virtual World, Monotaro calls Kiibo “Daddy” and Miu “Mommy” XD and even after her death, he was so sad he wished he could cry for her, which just punches me in the feels… and from what I remember in Trial 4, Kiibo was pretty much trying to defend her as the others pretty much admitted to not caring that much about her? I’d need to replay that trial, but that’s what I took from it in regards to Miu. Also, I guess another reason I like it is because Ouma bullies both of them, so they are similar in that regard haha.

I guess, maybe as the sole complaint, I wonder how Miu felt about Kiibo? I mean, clearly, she was interested in him because he’s a robot, but I wonder how she felt about Kiibo as a person? I think she respected Kiibo, but I can’t gauge how much she liked him from what I remember of the game. She was certainly proud and happy to give him upgrades, and Kiibo doesn’t seem to mind so much when she does, even though he hates sci-fi things, or generally any reminder he’s not as human as he’d like to be. She always kept her upgrades rather simple, and he was always so proud to have them! Maybe she wanted to add all that fancy gear from his Ultimate Lab, but didn’t push him when he said no. Maybe that’s why he was fond of her?

Kii/ruma’s a really cute ship to me! It’s probably more funny, than cute (but the fanart is so very cute...), but either way, I still really like it! And well, it’s about one of the only ships I care about in V3 as well, hahaha. It didn’t seem forced, I didn’t really feel like it was necessarily one-sided, and their dynamic was great and interesting!!! I should really check out those anthologies sometime to see if there’s any more Kii/ruma in it, hahaha.

[jo-the-schmo]

Breaking... Ch.19

Masterlist

Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

A/N: What did I say about taking a break? HA, I can’t keep my word guys. Don’t trust me. I may have fixed the tags idk.

Wordcount: 2239

Warnings: Assault, gay, foreshaowing, cursing

Tags!!!!:  @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty@meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips@sweaterkitty-fluff@pinkyiger7@littlemissshortcakes@msageofenlightenment@unprofessional-inhumanbeing@fandom-panda-221@hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple@ashwolfcub@myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate@superwholockbooknerd526@frozengal2013@lmaodedhaha@itsmikayblr@sarmar29 @arya-durin-77 @phantastic-fandoms@hoshihime98@shinigamired @martapetrovic @robotic-space@iamnotthrowingawaymyshit2(lol) @asprinkleofmermaids@pinkyiger7(I’m tagging you twice my friend!) @satellitesuga @rose-coloured-nihilism  @okie-dokie-artichokeme @alyssumax @pandartist @marquiis-de-la-baguette 

Breaking The Rules

The heat of summer seemed to fade away as fast as it had come. Fall soon followed and Angie had just turned sixteen. It wasn’t too much after the fact that she had a request for Alex, she wanted to go to a party. There was a masquerade ball happening in only a week and RoseMary had asked her to accompany her there. Alex was originally very hesitant, Angie had never been to a gathering by herself before, although she wouldn’t actually be alone. It took many pleases but he eventually agreed, now you were here. Angie braced herself with her bed frame as you finished tying the laces of her corset, while Eliza sat in front of her and finished her makeup. You tied off the string and Angie let out a sigh of relief.

“Christ that was painful!” She let out, you gave her an apologetic look.

“Time to finish up! I’ll go inform the coach, can you handle the rest, dear?” Eliza asked as she pushed herself off the bed, she was about eight months pregnant and there was no way you were letting her pull a corset.

“Of course, be careful down the stairs!” You warned. She rolled her eyes.

“Very well, mother.” She joked as she made her way of the room. Angie stepped into her metal hoop and tied it off herself while you grabbed her top layer. You lifted it up over her head, she put her arms through the sleeves as the fabric fell over the hoop. You tied off the front, fluffed out the skirt and stepped back to take a look at her. She’s grown up so fast! She’s so beautiful, my precious cinnamon roll!

“What are you staring at?” She asked with a nervous chuckle. You fanned your eyes to stop yourself from tearing up. Could you not right now! Stupid emotions!

“Just…You are the most beautiful little sister that I could ever ask for!” You sniffled, she quickly came over and gave you a comforting hug.

“Now all you have to do is marry Philip and make that title official!” She smiled and pulled away.

“I can’t think about marriage yet! Especially not while he’s still in school.” You corrected.

“Come on! I’ll be your Maid of Honor; I’m already working on my speech for the reception!” She giggled.

“I’m sure you are, but enough about me! Tonight is about you! Well, you and RoseMary but you get what I mean.”

“Do you think she going to like it?” She asked, gesturing at her gown. It was a birthday present from Mulligan. It was a soft shade of pink; the front was rather plain but the back had a very dramatic train that you were instructed to pin fresh flowers into. It was gorgeous and very much Angie. The whole thing stood out, it was really puffy and had off the shoulder, short sleeves. It suited her medium-toned skin and brown eyes.

“Of course she’s going to like it! She likes you no matter what you wear, kiddo!” You reminded her. You took another look at her and felt a bit strange. She looked like someone, you couldn’t put your finger quite on who but she definitely reminded you of someone. You quickly shook off the feeling and focused on the preparation. “You just need one more thing and you should be ready.” You walked over to her vanity and picked up her mask. It was a more reddish pink than her dress with small and intricate designs, tiny crystals lined the eyes and top of the mask and a bit of feathering stuck out of the top. You went behind her, placed the mask to her face and tied it off with the pink ribbon. “Okay, now you’re ready!” You exclaimed. You followed her out of her room and down the steps. It was only mid-day but you knew that parties started a lot earlier here. Eliza was waiting by the door.

“The carriage is ready!” When Angie stood by Eliza, they both hugged each other. “Be safe, love.”

“I will, Mama. No need to worry!” Angie reassured her. You opened the door for her and watched as she entered the carriage and drove off.

             You spent most of the day cleaning up the mess in Angie’s room and then anxiously checking for letters from Philip. You’d received less letters from him ever since summer started and even now in the fall you weren’t getting much. You were starting to get a little worried. You told yourself that he was probably busy with schoolwork and that nothing was wrong but you couldn’t shake this weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. You decided to distract yourself with reading some of the passages he marked in your book for like the hundredth plus time. Your favorite one was “My soul is in the sky.” At least, by itself it was your favorite. In context with the rest of the passage it gave you a feeling of terror. You were never able to shake what you saw in those ‘visions’, they still haunted you. Every once in a while you felt like you could actually hear the dream-like experience in real life but it would always be your imagination. The passage gave you and eerie feeling, you knew that he didn’t intend for it to but it was definitely off putting.  The evening faded and Eliza was starting to get antsy, Angie wasn’t back home yet. You told her to go to bed and that you would stay up to watch for her carriage. She tried to say no and that she would stay up but eventually you were able to convince her that not resting isn’t good for the baby.

             You brought a chair into the main room and convinced Alex to let you borrow his portable writing set. What a fucking nerd, he refuses to leave the house without this thing. You wrote down some of your worries about Philip, sure you had admitted your love on paper, honestly it was the only way you could sort everything. But this was the first time you wrote about what your fears were about loving him. You didn’t want to be selfish, you didn’t want to hold him back, you didn’t want to hurt him with all of your problems. Honestly, you didn’t feel like you deserved him most of the time. He deserved someone who at least had a chance to be with him, not some one in ten thousandth chance. You heard a carriage pull in, the horses were louder than usual. You quickly put everything on the ground but before you could make it to the door, two people were rushing in. RoseMary was holding her white mask and Angie’s pink mask in one hand. Angie had her arm wrapped around RoseMary’s shoulder, her dress was ripped and her hair was a mess, that’s all you could see at least from where you were. They both collapsed onto the ground. You ran over to them and kneeled down.

“Oh God, what happened? Are you both alright?” You asked hysterically. Up close you saw that RoseMary had tears streaming down her face. Angie looked up at you and saw a large starting at the base of nose and went down to the edge of her jawline. Now that you could see it, her hair was not only a mess but pieces were shorter than you remember. You could see the parts that went to the normal length, ending at the middle of her back, but some chunks creeped up to shoulder length. Her dress was torn to pieces, you could see the metal hoops and how weirdly she was holding onto her leg. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL WHOEVER DID THIS! DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE?!    

“I’m so stupid, so, so stupid! I messed up big time TT…” She wheezed. You took her free arm and wrapped it around your own shoulder, you and RoseMary helped her off the ground and stand up. The two of you led her to your chair, she limped awkwardly the whole way.

“T-This wasn’t s-supposed to h-happen…” RoseMary shook.

“What the hell happened?” You asked once more.

“S-Someone saw us, they freaked out and came at us… I’m so sorry Angie! This is all my fault! I was too afraid to fight back…” She wept. “They chased off her carriage so w-we had to go and find my coach just to get out…” She kneeled down beside Angie and squeezed her hand. Angie shook her head, even though she was obviously in pain.

“It’s not your fault, Rosie. There’s no way you could’ve known…” She winced as you tried to wipe the blood off her face. “One of the men there grabbed me by the hair, Rosie had to cut me out so we could run. We’re lucky that didn’t see who we were so I don’t think they know…” She chuckled anxiously. You sighed, you could already tell that her leg was broken from what little was visible from under the metal rings.

“Angie…we have to tell your father. You’re going to need a doctor and you know I can’t call for one-“ You started.

“No! We can’t tell him! Please…” She looked at you panicked.

“I can’t treat you, I don’t have the medical knowledge to fix your leg. Plus, how are you even going to try and hide this from him? I’m going to get him; I think he’s still up.” You stood up and felt Angie grab your list, you looked back down at her and saw tears pricking at her eyes.

“Please! Don’t tell him! He’ll be upset with me!” She hiccupped. You looked down at her apologetically.

“Trust me, everything will be fine. You can’t hide this for forever.” You informed her. You didn’t like that you had to go against her wishes but you knew if you didn’t tell him, or at least enough to help her than she would get hurt again. You went through the hallway and saw light filtering in from under the study doors. You gave a soft knock and opened the door. “Alex? This is urgent, could you please follow me into the main room?” You heard him hum in confusion.

“Why? Is something wrong?” He asked in a concern voice.

“I’ll…I’ll let her explain. Please just come with me for a second.” You heard him rush out of his seat and he was following you back to Angie and RoseMary in no time. Once he saw her, all the color drained from her face, he ran over to, kneeled down beside her.

“Angelica! What happened? Are you hurt? Who did this?” He questioned frantically, she looked hesitant.

“It’s okay, Angie. You can tell him.” You tried to reassure. She looked at RoseMary, and she seemed to agree with you.

“I don’t know who it was… but I think my leg got messed up.” She tried to make light of the situation.

“How did this happen?”

“M-Mr. Hamilton… I think it might help if you promise to not get upset.” RoseMary suggested.

“Yes, yes, of course I won’t be upset. I swear on my life.” Alex looked Angie in the eye with a certain comforting seriousness. She took a deep breath to psyche herself up. You got this lil sis, you can do this!

“Some people…they um, saw something that they didn’t like so they attacked…”

“What are-“

“Father, I love Rosie! Every time you describe to me what it’s like to look at Mama every day, that’s how I feel with her! I’m so sorry, Daddy!” At this point there were tears streaming down her face. Alex, without hesitation, wrapped his daughter in his arms and held her a sort of fear that only a loving father could. “W-what?” Angie sniffled.

“My sunshine girl, why are you apologizing? I understand, you have no need to fear! I love you will all my heart, darling; nothing will ever change that!” Alex’s voice cracked. Looks like my feeling was right. “We’ll figure out a way to make this work, I promise. Until then, you need to lie low and rest.” Alex instructed you to help Angie up the stairs and get into bed. He would take a coach to RoseMary’s home and call for the doctor to deal with her leg. You did and helped her out of her clothes and into her night dress. Truthfully, you’ve seen her look more at peace with herself until now.  After you put her to bed, you went down to your room and decided to prepare yourself to sleep. As you changed out of your garments, you felt cold all of a sudden. Colder than what you should be in October at least. You shivered and realized you could see your own breath. You stood there for a moment in confusion, that’s when you heard something. Perhaps heard wasn’t the right word, there was no sound but you felt it. It was smooth and foreboding, lawful and just.

“Stop. Go back.” It echoed through your skin. You turned but saw no one there, the presence was gone and the room adjusted back to its original temperature. What was that…? You quickly put your night gown on and got under the covers on your bed.

You didn’t sleep that night.