#i have had covid twice now
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HELLOOOO I LOVE CHATPLOTS!!! I have a question that i canāt find if youāve answered yet, so sorry if it is a repeat pls just ignore!
Is the scenario u gave us for the beta testing ācurrentā day in regards to your whole story, or is it somewhere in the middle of the story, or is it timeless/kind of an au within everything? And what about the other chatplots chats u are writing, if you are willing to spoil? š (and a more specific spoiler question would be about the timeline specifically with bmb dabi bc he is my fave! Will that be set after everything happens, and also I know you said there would be sfw with bmb dabi- will there also be nsfw?)
THAT IS SO MUCH HAHAHA PLEASE IGNORE ANY AND ALL THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER! Ok thank u i love your writing and creativity so much thank u for giving us what you do!! <3 and stay safe- covid is on the rise again!!!
HELLOOOO HEHEHE I LOVE U!!!! <333 iām super happy youāre enjoying it!! yes yes i shall answer them!!
is the scenario u gave us for the beta testing ācurrentā day in regards to your whole story, or is it somewhere in the middle of the story, or is it timeless/kind of an au within everything?
this is actually a very good question and something i had been thinking about recently, especially as i begin to release more chats and the catalogue builds. i think the best answer for this tnii acting naughty at a family gathering chat is that itās either fairly current, or it can just be considered timeless, taking place any time after the main series. for certain chats in the future (especially bmb ones) i will have to specify where exactly in the timeline it takes place, and i think thatāll probably just end up in the lil warnings box at the beginning <3
can you spoil any other chatplots chats you are currently writing?
EEE HEHE i am going to keep these a secret because surprising u guys is so much more fun but i will tell you that one is another smutty touya-nii one and one is a sfw bmb dabi one set between part one and part two. there is another one thatās technically completely finished but that i want to revise and heavily edit, and that one is smut with bmb tomura!
will there also be nsfw with bmb dabi?
yes omg of course!!! i already have a few smutty ideas jotted down for him!!
all very good questions thank u anon!! and thank YOU for supporting my work and taking a moment to send in this ask!!! i appreciate it so much <33 aw hehe you too!!
#i have had covid twice now#if i get it again i will actually start murdering#its so awful ugh yuck >.<#anyway fun questions thank you thank you!!!!#have a wonderful week ahead bb <3#stay safe and drink ur water!!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail#inky.chatplots
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man I have had a fucking crazy week
#I got covid#I got fired from my job I think BECAUSE I got covid#I had to take a pregnancy test today because my period was 4 days late#and then GOT my period 5 minutes after taking said pregnancy test#now iām in so much pain because iāve been eating more so itās twice as bad as usual#and now iām on the couch electrocuting myself with a TENS unit#because I have NO more ibuprofen left#my whole body fucking hurts#and iām still somehow in a good mood š
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#hamsters#comfy#kawaii#photography#my photography#hampter......#fun fact on this day my friend and i decided to open my sunroof which i promptly left open for an entire week and didnt notice until it had#already been raining for 2 days straight.#now my car has recovered entirely from the water damage its like it never happened but that. THAT. was a torment that lasted so so long#everytime i drove to my uni's bi weekly mandated covid test (2020 thingz) i would have a wet spot unless i laid my#'emergency trapped in snow' quilt on the seat beforehand#btw i cured it via copious moisture sucking bags (not the powder ones those spilt twice on me and were a pain in the ass to get out and#didnt help) and driving to the nearest sketchy carwash to vacuum out the water daily for a few weeks#and then promptly moving to sunny florida where the sun dried the rest. pro tip: car got wet? just move to florida ez#i think of my sad wet pants walkig thru kroger everytime i listen to nickelbacks 'far away' which was playing when i first drove in it afte#2020
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Me: I'll be able to recover from my nightmarish 3 months after I finish this 2 week work trip
Me: [gets covid on the 2 week work trip]
š
#the way that i was aggressively masking and trying to distance....#and yet was just completely surrounded by unmasked coughing people everywhere all the time#EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME!!!!#I'm actually deeply pissed#i did not get covid for the first time until june. SEVEN MONTHS AGO. i avoided it for THREE YEARS#and now I've had it twice in 7 months#because even tho i avoided doing ANYTHING for new years bc i didn't want to catch anything#i don't have a choice abt work trips!!!#it's go or say goodbye to my job!!#i was also WALKING AROUND A HOSPITAL the entirety of the first week#and was the only person wearing a mask!!!#but have any of my coworkers on either part of my trip gotten covid???#NOT THAT I'VE HEARD!!#I'm pissed too bc in the second part of my trip there were signs everywhere saying MASKS STRONGLY RECCONENDED#and we were EXPLICITLY TOLD TO MASK UP#by my project lead#and yet. did people wear masks? no!#just me!#and I'm the one with covid#of course#and my project lead was supportive of me taking one sick afternoon#when i asked to leave early the next day bc i was worried i had a fever and had nothing to do and still felt miserable#my project lead was not impressed#thanks babe#i literally had covid#but I'm def making it up bc I'm lazy bc why else would i still be sick after i got the WHOLE AFTERNOON off??#honestly i think she was only supportive of me taking the afternoon off bc i had a big presentation the next morning in front of like#100 people at the customer. like everyone was there.#and my project lead didn't want me to be visible sick and fucked up for it#and then i did the prezzie and multiple people said i CRUSHED it... but i couldn't leave early that day š
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the sore throat has evolved into a slight cough. why does god hate me
#had negative covid test yesterday.....no other symptoms just scratchy throat and cough#:/#usually i get contagiously sick pretty rarely and now i get sick twice less than a month apart?#oh damn maybe living with background levels of anxiety so high you could have an anxiety attack at any point is detrimental to your health#big if true#me
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#I held out as long as I could but I finally had to resign today#my boss is just too nice to lay me off even though my work produces almost no business value š#like they just did a reorg of the teams that means QA will be stretched too thin over devs#and heās not allowed to hire any more manual testers#this is not the same situation I was hired into!#Iām a ānice to haveā type of employee and they managed without my role for a while#I COULD have made myself indispensable in the last year but I couldnāt be bothered#I was busy writing fanfic and having a baby#not to mention the health shit like my wife getting covid and stranding us at my sisterās house across the country#or my older kid being hospitalized twice for respiratory failure!#so I just did the bare minimum IF THAT#and now a year later itās all THE YEAR OF EFFICIENCY and all that bullshit#just like the rest of tech right now. bunch of dumbass capitalist copycatsā¦#if my manager werenāt such a good dude heād have offered my role in exchange for the manual testing hire(s) he CLEARLY needs#I really hope that my resignation helps him either get the new hire he wants or protect the rest of the department from layoffs!!!#Iām so glad I finally got it over with š#I start my new job in May so Iāll have a couple weeks to chill!!!
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sometimes things suck but also there's tea and glittery metallic pens and pathfinder so existence is still meaningful i think
#and i can taste mango again which never fails to surprise me#translator's note it was not covid i was on a medication that annihilated fruit flavors for about 4 years#mango my formerly favorite fruit tasted like wet vinegar and now it again tastes like mango#i had covid separately twice but never got the flavor modifying shit with that#we are having a banger of a time in pathfinder though it is like immensely helping the existential anguish era#thankfully kidneys seem to be staying clear this go around but every time i get abdominal pain i'm like cocks rifle
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yknow itās definitely very unhealthy to use tumblr as the place to dump my anxiety . like writing out what youāre feeling and translating it into understandable words is a method of processing said feelings but not. like this
#girl i need a therapist . bad. i need to get over my driving issue and this and my other seven million sleeper agent anxiety triggers#iām doing better than in high school but itās b a. d#average daily life is better than āhad an anxiety attack bad enough my lang teacher let me sleep through an essayā TWICE in back to back wee#ks. and i honestly probably would have failed a few AP exams if covid hadnāt happened. but now i have so much higher expectation s for muswl#myself. so even if day to day iām better and more social and more productive. when i crash i crash fucking hard#and the consequences are barely escaped. iāve gotten so damn lucky#the only reason iām successful is bc my writings good enough to cover for the fact that i procrastinate until literally the last day for#every major essay. and iām good at memorizing for exams. people canāt tell youāre bullshitting if everyone else in the class sucks atwriting#or is using chatgpt. fuck the big fish in a small pond accusations are true#AGH. jay rose stop. go to bed.
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Soooooooooo guess who started crying in the doctorās office bc she has to miss her labs tomorrow
#I have COVID apparently#despite testing negative twice before#they think itās bc my first tests were too close to when symptoms started#but anyway I got told that I absolutely must stay in my room and not leave except for bathroom trips and like. emergencies.#and all I could think was āoh no Iām screwed Iām gonna have to miss so many classesā#told my roommates and they said āwe cannot afford to get COVID. do not leave your room pleaseā.#which. yeah. I also cannot afford to get COVID. and yet here we are.#my roommate brought up the food my mom got delivered for me so thatās nice#Iāll probably be full for a while and I got some juice so I could take my meds#which is nice bc I havenāt eaten since yesterday morning and I wasnāt hungry until like. noon today.#this does partially explain the intense brain fog yesterday#I spent hours just staring at the wall shivering trying to form a coherent thought#went to take a bath and almost fell asleep in it#and then had to crawl out because I was shaking too hard to stand up on the wet surface.#all of this to say#wear your masks and get your booster shots if at all possible#I was behind on my boosters and look at where we are now#Infected With The Plague#this is supposedly a mild variant and yet I feel like death#at least I can think better today. got more sleep anyway. been crying a lot tho. and coughing. and shivering.#Fuckign Miserable
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the alienation of showing up to an event as the only person masked is like. the absolute worst.
#not just the realization that these people have āmoved onā#but the way they treat you#at my cousinās bachelorette party her mom said oh are you sick? when she saw me#and when i smiled and said no she said oh youāre just..?#and later on that evening someone from the groomās side of the family came up to me out of the blue#interrupting my conversation with my little cousin#to say āis that a jaw brace??ā because i had my mask down while i was sipping a drink#and then she went on a spiel about jaw braces and when people get jaw surgery and i was like š¤Ø#because i had my mask on the whole party before that and she definitely saw me so.. what the fuck lmao#anyways iām just dreading the wedding this weekend#knowing the type of people who are going to be there#people who have never worn masks since the beginning#which is why they all got covid twice#but my family is insisting and š i canāt handle another argument#never mind that my eighty year old grandparents will be there and they wanted to do it via zoom#but my cousins mom said oh weāre not setting up zoom sorry :)#so now theyāre begrudgingly attending in person because they want to see their grand niece get married and thereās no other option for them#it just. upsets me. u know??#oughhhhhhh#anyways.txt
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#if i had a nickel everytime covid stopped me from seeing fall out boy in queens#id have two nickels#which isnt a lot#but its weird that it happened twice#but at least now its just me that doesnt get to go and not the entire show being cancelled#bleh
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why did i have a very vivid dream of hanging out with twice at soundcheck after months of very whacked out confusing messy dreams. and then immediately go back to having whacked out dreams. and it wasn't even an omen of us getting good tickets
#all of my dreams are vague dreams about going out or having pres at my house or travelling somewhere#they used to be the same but more vivid/less confusing and id have way more normal dreams in between#but this is the only normal dream ive had in months#they're all kind of stress dreams and have a vague unsettling energy most of the time#i actually had an extremely vivid dream the same night as the twice dream adn i don't think it was one of the stress dreams#but ive forgotten what it was#i also had a dream and frank was just. there#the mcr dream i submitted to tye confession booth was a while ago so before all this nonsense#idk i think the meds AND covid fucked me over#at least it's stopped being full on nightmares every night?? it's just unsettling now#and at least some kind of normal dreams are being added back into the mix#diary#btw we have fine tickets for twice but we couldn't get any at presale (which was the day i had the dream)#and we're not on the floor so less close than skz#dream diary
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Starting to think maybe just dealing with whatever this is would be better than continuing to wait at this Urgent Care.
#first of all they only did check ins with qr codes#then my insurance card wouldnāt photograph right#now theyāre saying they no longer accept my insurance as of today#so the bill will be coming#i have cried twice#when you donāt feel well this is NOT what is needed#kiki shouts into the void#personal#it is probably just a cold anyway#but so many of my kids are out with strep and covid#and i feel bad enough i had to leave work early#so#better to get it checked out#but just#this is not a great experience#and ALSO the receptionist keeps pulling her mask down to talk ššš
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boss went to the office sick last week, on a call she joked about how "she's gonna give it to all of us haha" now i am sick, most likely from her and joke's on her if I don't feel well tomorrow morning then I'll not work as is my legal right and she will have to deal with me not being there
#i like#KNEW it#when she was joking about this#I KNEW i was gonna catch something#now i feel a truck ran me over basically#i only have a low fever right now and hhnnggg i would feel bad calling in sick with 'only' a low fever but#i don't FEEL good and if I feel like that tomorrow then like i am not gonna be any use to anyone#and i would much prefer not getting anyone else sick unlike SOME PEOPLE#it is kinda funny tho because I have been worrying about maybe burn out danger#and tomorrow is my scheduled psychiatrist appointment anyways#and i was gonna maybe ask her to write me a sick note because of mental health reasons#(or at least ask if she thought it was justified)#if now i have early-ish stage burn out AND a cold /flu / probably Covid / whatever then at least calling in sick is twice as justified#or maybe - two half justifieds make one full justified?#I just hope if i still feel bad tomorrow morning i can have the psychiatrist appointment via phone or zoom or something#bc i do not want to have to travel to her it is a 3h round trip but that is the price i have to pay#to be seen by a doc who is not a psychopath#so many psychiatrists are just evil and she is the first of WAYYY too many (six not counting a few i only ever had one first apt with)#yeah anyways the only issue is there are a bunch of events this weekend i was really looking forward to#and i will legit cry if i have to miss them BECAUSE MY FUCKING BOSS WOULDN'T AT LEAST WORK ONLY FROM HOME if she didn't want to#take sick leave#like we have that option we can do almost everything without having to go to the office#i hate it here i wrote in my calender i would quit my job this thursday but i don't want to do that while i'm on sick leave yknow#well i'll figure it out ig
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i remember making the sword and seeing that and being like "oh...oh no... :""")"
So I'm just reading Legendary weapon descriptions (since I obviously don't own all of them and I love little lore bits), and this is the cutest thing ever. Aurene plz, you can still do this even as an Elder dragon, I don't mind!!! you'll always be my baby!!!!!!!!!
#hhnrrrg i just woke up this a gonna make a me cry#im not the biggest fan of auren but i played lws4 while havinga tough time in high school and her shit hit me haaaard#like imagen yer 17 yeah. and you've had a learning disability since yer 8 you've had to work twice as hard to catch up#and just when you think you've gotten it all figuerd out shit hist the fan [covid]#but despite that everyones telling you you HAVE to do this you HAVE to graduate they believe in you and they think you can do it#but you're so fucking tired youve been trying for so long and you just can not see a light at the end of thise tunnel#okay now imagine that 17yo then plays lws4 āa star to guid us: legacyā#and theres auren just a teen with a bunch of adults telling her she HAS to live up to this legacy. she HAS to kill kralk.#and in a moment of panic and fear she shows everyone how no mater what the only results she can see is her failing.#she cant see an outcome where she succeeds#anyways that 17yo then starts baling her eyes out#wow that that long and. ranty sorry Mana for the tags LOL
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#i am actually so unbelievably livid right now#like i do not know what to do with the anger that is being held in my body at the moment#ive just tested positive for covid after being sick for a few days#i just tested negative on saturday before i went to a concert and before i saw my partner#so i thought i was fine#but no! actually if i have plans or want to take a fucking break literally ever someone gets sick (me this time) and the plans are ruined#i am legitimately struggling so badly with my mental health right now this might genuinely be a breaking point for me#i am fully at risk#yknow?#anyway#i feel fucking awful because i saw everyone and was doing normal stuff and i just have an immense amount of guilt about it#like#several people have said its fine but i dont believe them at all#ive asked my partner twice if theyre upset with me and theyve said no but i dont think thats the case#i dont know#i was supposed to go on a trip with them this weekend and weve had it planned for a month#and now im sick and we wont be able to go unless shes sick too or i test negative before saturday#and i have a fucking final on thursday and im feeling like im going to fucking **** ******#maybe im blowing it out of proportion! i dont know#but seriously this just happened like last month as well with another family member#we were all supposed to go on a trip to the beach and my brother got sick so only three of the seven of us went and it was kinda miserable#i swear to god i cant have anything good#i cant handle anything anymore#i dont want to live in this house and i dont want to speak with my family and i dont want to do school or work or anything else ever#the burden of being alive is immeasurable and i cant keep living with the responsibilities that come with it
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