#i have gotten to a place where i dig my own art style(s)

[rustbeltjessie]

lookin’ for a kiss // Jessie Lynn McMains, March 2025

Just a quick tribute to David Johansen. Graphite, charcoal, chalk, and lipstick on (crumpled) paper.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Ayato Route ー Chapter 3

ー The scene starts in the hotel room

Yui: ( Ayato-kun still hasn’t returned it seems... )

( I wonder where he went? Should I go look for him...? )

*Rustle rustle*

ー She goes down to the lobby

Yui: ( Ah, I recognize that back... )

Ayato-kun!

ー She runs up to him

Ayato: ...Chichinashi...

Yui: Where were you? I was worri...ーー

( ...Huh...? )

Hey, what’s wrong? You seem kind of tired...

Ayato: Shut up. I’m fine.

More importantly, are you well enough to be up and running again?

Yui: I’m fine, but...

Ayato: Mmh. Let’s go look for the locksmith together then.

Yui: Yeah...We have to find some sort of lead first though...

Ayato: I’ve got one. Seems like he’s hanging out in Saint Nore Park.

I found this person who spotted him there, you see...

Yui: Eh...?

( Then, could he have been looking around for the locksmith on his own this whole time...? )

Ayato: We might lose track of him again if we sit around too long. Let’s go.

Yui: Gotcha.

( ... )

ー She reaches for his hand

Ayato: ...Why did you grab my hand all of a sudden...?

Yui: S-Sorry...But...

( I was thinking of a way to say thank you and suddenly felt like doing this... )

Ayato: Hm, whatever. Anyway, let’s hurry.

Yui: Yeah!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: It’s still as crowded as ever...

Ayato: Yeah, you’re right...

Yui: ( What to do? Even if we know he’s here, with this many people around... )

Ayato: Well then. Guess it’s time for these bad boys to make an appearance.

Yui: ...? Ayato-kun, are those...?

Ayato: Hehe. I figured out what the dude looks like while I was gatherin’ information on him.

I drew this portrait of him. Whatcha think? There’s just no way we won’t find him with this, right?

Yui: ( ...I thought it was an animal of some sorts...But it’s actually a portrait... )

( Ayato-kun seems very confident but...I’m honestly a little worried... )

Ayato: ...What? Got a problem with my drawing?

Yui: Eh? ...No, that’s not it, but...

Ayato: ...? But, what?

Yui: Well...

Selection

→ Beg the question

Yui: ...No, it’s nothing...

Ayato: ...Hmm. Well, whatever.

→ Praise him (☾)

Yui: ...No, it’s nothing. I just thought your art style is very distinctive...

Ayato: Hah, right? You’ve got a good eye!

Yui: ( Either way...I feel as if I’ve seen this face somewhere before... )

( ...Am I just imagining things...? )

Ayato: ‘Kay! Let’s go ‘round the whole park showin’ people this portrait!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Che, fuck...We’re not havin’ any luck...

Yui: Yeah...You’re right...

( We’ve been walking around the park asking others for information, but we haven’t even gotten any clues... )

( I guess it’s impossible with just a single portrait... )

Ayato: Hm? ...Ah!

Yui: ...What?

Ayato: Oi, take a look over there...!

Yui: Eh...?

???: Hahaha, then afterwards...

Yui: ( For some reason...That man vaguely looks like...the portrait drawn by Ayato-kun...? )

Ayato: It’s definitely him! Oi, let’s go!

Yui: Y-Yeah...!

( Way to go, Ayato-kun! ...I guess? )

ー They run up to the man

Ayato: Hey, Old Geezer! You’re the locksmith, right?

???: ...I can’t deny I’m the one and only but... ...! You’re that guy from yesterday...!

Yui: Eh? ...Ah! You’re...!

ー A flashback ensues

Vampire gentleman: I was shocked to find you passed out here! Did you come with someon...ーー

ー Ayato runs up to them

Ayato: ...Oi! What are you doin’ to her!? Back off at once!!

*THUD*

Vampire gentleman: Uguh!?

Yui: ...! Ayato-kun!?

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( The guy who helped me yesterday...And who was kicked by Ayato-kun...! )

( Who would have thought he was actually the locksmith...! )

Locksmith: What do you want? I didn’t think I would run into you two again here...

Just when I was enjoying the Parade too...

Take a look! My smile has been turned upside down because of you!

Yui: W-We’re so sorry...!

Ayato: Che...For real? No wonder the guy struck me as familiar when I was drawin’ his portrait...

Listen, dude. I’m sorry for what I did yesterday...I was convinced you were...

Yui: Um, we truly feel sorry. It’s just, Ayato-kun honestly didn’t mean any harm. 

He just got the wrong idea and...Well...

Locksmith: Hmhp! A little late for those excuses now. Besides, I’m enjoying my vacation right now.

I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t disturb me. Now leave.

Yui: ...But...!

Ayato: Listen up. There’s somethin’ we wanna ask of you.

Locksmith: ...Of me?

*Cling*

Ayato: ...It’s this. We have to fix this key by the end of today, no matter what...

I’m beggin’ you. Can’t you please help us out?

Locksmith: ...And give me one good reason to do that!? The answer is no.

Ayato: Didn’t I say ‘please!?’ If not, she’ll...Yui will...

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...

Locksmith: What does she have to do with it?

Ayato: ...Long story short, we need your skill to be able to save her!

So stop complainin’ and help us out!

*Thud*

Yui: ...Ayato-kun! C-Calm down...!

Locksmith: Hmph! You should probably do something about that short temper of yours.

...Anyway, if I don’t fix that key, something bad will happen to the young lady over here, correct?

...I suppose I have no other choice then. Let me make you an offer then.

Ayato: An offer?

Locksmith: Exactly. I challenge you to a game of go-cart. If you win, I will help you out.

Yui: ...! Really?

Locksmith: Yes, I mean it. Hey, you. This is how you negotiate with someone. Take mental note.

Ayato: Che, the fuck? This locksmith thinks he’s the shit...I don’t like him.

But fine. I just need to beat you in a go-cart race, right? Challenge accepted! You better brace yourself!

Oi, watch me, Chichinashi. I’m takin’ this victory home for sure.

Yui: Yeah...!

( Good luck, Ayato-kun...! )

Explanation: The player controls the go-cart of the character. Hitting the obstacles will slow you down. By touching the arrow, you can speed up. Use the D-pad to alternate lanes and reach the finish before time runs out.

You can play this game in EASY, NORMAL or HARD mode.

Ayato: Awesome, I win!

Locksmith: I didn’t think you could win against me in a go-cart race. ...As to be expected of Karlheinz’s son.

Yui: Eh? You knew...?

Locksmith: ...Guess so. That’s exactly why I wanted to beat him.

Ayato: Anyway, you’ll fix this key as you promised, right?

Locksmith: Yeah, of course. You won fair and square after all.

Ayato: I did it, Yui!

ー He scoops her up in his arms

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah!

( Gosh, Ayato-kun...! )

Ayato: Heh! Didn’t I tell you? Yours Truly never loses...

There’s nobody out there who can beat me. I’m always number one!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the locksmith’s shop

Locksmith: Well then, come on in.

*Thud*

Yui: ( Wow. There’s many keys I’ve never seen before... )

Locksmith: ...Well then, show me the broken key.

Ayato: Yeah. It’s this bad boy.

*Cling*

Locksmith: ...Hm, this is...

...

Yui: ( ...He went quiet. He looks a little troubled... )

Ayato: Oi, what do you say? You can fix it, right?

Locksmith: ...I can. However...I will need a special mineral to do so.

Yui: A special...mineral?

Ayato: You just have to attach one side to the other, right!? Then why not use whatever you have laying ‘round to glue it together!?

Locksmith: ...No, that won’t work. Well, let me just show you. For example, if I try to use this metal...

*Cling cling*

*Thud*

Ayato: ...!?

Yui: ( ...The metal bounced off...? )

Locksmith: ...See? This key has been manufactured in a special way and can only be fixed by using an identical material.

It’ll be difficult to repair the key without the right mineral.

Yui: No way...

Ayato: Then we just gotta dig up that mineral from somewhere, right!? Where can we find it?

Locksmith: Even here in the Demon World, you can only find it in a select few locations.

The closest site would be...Right. The abandoned mine on Smaragd Volcano...

That place used to be a goldmine for all sorts of minerals. I’m sure you could still dig some up to this day.

Ayato: The volcano, right? ‘Kay, gotcha! Oi, Chichinashi! We’re leavin’ right away. Follow me!

*Rustle*

Yui: Ah! Ayato-kun!

ー The scene shifts to Diamante Fountain

Ayato: That bein’ said, how are we gonna get to this abandoned mine...?

It can’t be helped...The Four-Eyes might just know a good way.

Okay, I’m gonna send him a message through my Familiar.

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: ( ...Ayato-kun’s trying his very best... )

( He barely got any sleep last night either, did he...? I feel kind of bad... )

( For one, I wonder if this stuff we’re doing right now is really what the Count expects from us...? )

( I won’t deny that we broke into his house and broke the key, but... )

ー A flashback ensues

???: ...Exactly. While everyone else is too preoccupied with the Parade.

???: ...I will act as the decoy. ...As for the location, is Zartan’s Mouth okay?

???: Yes, I do not mind. However, there’s a few issues...

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( They were being kind of suspicious, right...? )

( I wonder what exactly that key is for...? )

( If those guys are trying to commit a crime using that key... )

( We basically aided them in that, no...? )

( In that case, the Count will... )

Ayato: Oi, what’s wrong? You’ve got a frown on your face...

Yui: ...Ayato-kun...

Ayato: I got a response from Reiji. That bastard really knows all the weird shit, huh?

But it saved our ass this time. It seems like we’ll need some tools, so let’s go collect them right away.

Yui: Y-Yeah...But...

Ayato: ...? What?

Yui: Shouldn’t you take a little break first?

You know...You haven’t been able to rest at all since yesterday, right?

Ayato: ...That’s what you’re worried about? I’m totally fine.

Besides, it’s my fault all of this happened in the first place, right?

You really think I can sit still and rest now...?

Yui: ( Ayato-kun... )

Ayato: The quickest route to the volcano is to take a gondola and go up the canal.

I’m sure you’re tired as well, but let’s push through a lil’ longer and rest on the journey there, ‘kay?

Yui: ...I’m fine. I’m much more worried about you...

Ayato: Didn’t you hear me when I said I’m fine? You weirdo. ...Let’s go.

Yui: Yeah...

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Ayato: Accordin’ to Reiji’s message, there’s a lake at the end of this canal.

And the entrance to the mountain should be somewhere in the nearby forest.

Yui: ...

Ayato: ...? Oi, what’s wrong? You’ve been actin’ off this whole time, you know?

...You’re not feeling sick again, are you?

Yui: ...I’m not! There’s just been something on my mind...

Ayato: On your mind? What is it? Tell me.  You shouldn’t keep secrets from me.

Yui: ...It’s about that key...

Ayato: ...The key?

Yui: ...Yeah. I was just wondering what they’d use that key for...

Ayato: ...Well, it didn’t seem like they’re up to any good.

Yui: ...! You think so too?

Ayato: I mean, those dudes in the basements were obviously actin’ suspicious, no?

They were hella pissed we listened in on their conversation as well. I’m sure they’re up to something.

Yui: ...In that case, what we’re doing right now is...

Ayato: ...Hmph. But you know, what’s the point in worryin’ ‘bout that?

Anyway, it’s my fault the key broke...

If they won’t forgive me unless I get it fixed, then I have no other choice.

That’s all the Count told us. We don’t exactly have the time to worry ‘bout what comes after, right?

Yui: You’re not wrong but...

Ayato: Oh, seems like we’re here.

ー The scene shifts to Tilkeys Falls

Yui: ( Waah...What a beautiful place. )

Ayato: ‘Kay, let’s keep goin’. Here, gimme your hand.

Yui: Yeah.

*Rustle*

( Swan-shaped boats...Everyone seems to having a lot of fun... )

( I would have loved to come here on a date with Ayato-kun instead... )

( However, now’s not the time for that. )

Ayato: ...

*Rustle*

Yui: ...Kyah!

( Ayato-kun, out of nowhere...! )

Ayato: Why do you keep makin’ those gloomy expressions?

Don’t worry. Once we find the right mineral real quick and get the key repaired...

I’ll for sure retrieve your heart from the Count, okay?

Then afterwards, let’s enjoy ourselves here to the fullest before headin’ home. How does that sound?

Yui: Ayato-kun...

( Could it be, he’s trying to cheer me up...Right? )

Fufu. You’re right. We better hurry then.

Ayato: Yeah!

ー The scene shifts to the mine site

Ayato: Che, this place’s pretty slippery...Oi. Watch your step, ‘kay?

Yui: Yeah...

( It’s pretty creepy in here...It looks rather worn out as well... )

( It won’t collapse, right...? I’m a little worried... )

*Thud*

Ayato: There we go...Guess ‘round here should do. Let’s try diggin’ into the ground.

Yui: I’ll start over here then...

Ayato: No, you don’t need to help out. I’d rather not have you collapse on me again. Just sit there and watch, ‘kay?

Yui: ...But...!

Ayato: I just said it’s fine, right? Anyway, let’s get started! Heave...hoh!

*THUD*

*Rustle*

Ayato: Uwah!

Yui: Kyaah!

Ayato: Che, bats...? Don’t give me a scare...There...!

*THUD THUD*

Ayato: Reiji knew more ‘bout the mineral.

It’s some kind of magic crystal about the size of a fist which gives off a silver shine.

Yui: Silver...? 

Ayato: Yeah. That’s why the dark will work to our advantage! If it shimmers, we should be able to spot it right away!

*THUD*

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah!

( Again...! Is something lurking around...? )

Ayato: Hah, whatcha pissin’ your pants for? I bet it’s some lower class Familiar again?

*Flap flap*

Ayato: Che, it’s hella noisy though. It keeps on distractin’ me. I’ll chase it away!

*Thud*

Ayato: Imma go take a look up ahead so you stay here, ‘kay?

ー Ayato walks away

Yui: A-Ayato-kun...

( He left...Will he be okay...? )

Ayato: Hm? The fuck’s this? ...Wait. Uwah!? 

*CAW*

Ayato: Uwaahーー!!

Yui: ...!? Ayato-kun!?

( O-Oh no...! )

ー She rushes to his side

Yui: Ayato-kun, what’s wrong!?

( ...He’s gone...? )

Ayato-kunーー!?

*Flap*

Ayato: Chichinashiーー!!

*CAW*

Yui: Kyaah!!

( Ayato-kun...! He’s been caught by a giant eagle!! )

( W-What should I do...!? I have to save him...! )

Ayato-kun! I’ll be right thereーー!

Ayato: Forget that! Look! Inside its nest!

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: You can see it right!? There’s a silver light! Couldn’t that be the crystal!?

Yui: Ah...!

( He’s right...! There’s various silver crystals inside the eagle’s nest...! )

Ayato: Hurry up and take one! Make haste!!

Yui: ( B-But... )

*Chirp chirp chirp*

T-The chicks have got their wings wrapped around them...If I get close, I’m sure... 

( The Mother bird will get upset...! )

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Ayato: Like we have the time to worry ‘bout that! Hurry up while I keep the big one busy!

Yui: O-Okay...

ー Yui runs over to the nest

*Chirp chirp chirp*

Yui: I-I’m sorry...I only need one, okay...

*Rustle*

( Those crystals seem very dear to them...Right, I’m pretty sure birds are known to like sparkly things... )

...

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Yui: ...Kyaah!

Ayato: Fuck! Seems like she noticed you!

What are you takin’ your sweet time for!? Just snatch one already! ...Uwah!?

*THUD*

Ayato: ...Ow...

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Ayato: You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me! Look! The eagle returned to her nest. Now it won’t be easy to get close to it.

That was our chance! What are you doin’...!? 

Yui: B-But...!

( I just can’t...! Even if it’s from an eagle, it’d still make us thieves...! )

*Flap flap*

*CAW*

Yui: ( ...She’s wary of us... )

Ayato-kun, let’s go outside for now...

Ayato: Haah? Are you givin’ up? But why...!?

ー Yui walks away

Ayato: Oi, wait! Chichinashi!

ー The scene shifts to the entrance of the mine

Ayato: ...God, what are you playin’ at!? We were so close!

Yui: I’m sorry...But listen...

Those chicks were holding the stones so very dearly...

I just couldn’t bring myself to take them away...

Ayato: Haah? They’re eagles, remember? The fuck you sayin’...!?

Yui: B-But you know...We’re going around trying to clear our name so...

So don’t you think that by stealing something valuable from those eagles, we’d just be committing another misduct? 

Ayato: ...

Yui: Besides, when dealing with a human, we can always apologize and explain the situation to them.

However, when it’s an eagle, we would never be able to get their forgiveness, right...?

Once I realized that, I just couldn’t bring myself to steal the crystal...

Ayato: ...Haah. You really love to overthink stuff, don’t you...?

But well, whatever. No point in crying over spilled milk.

Let’s look for a different way for now. We still have to get our hands on one of those crystals no matter what after all.

Yui: ( Ayato-kun...He understood... )

Want to move locations and try digging along the tunnel? I’ll help this time too...

Ayato: Mmh. Well...Guess we have no other choice...

Monologue

In what followed, the two of us went on our way,

digging around the entire mining site,

but we were unable,

to find the magic crystal.

With both of us completely exhausted,

we had no other choice but to return to the city empty-handed.

ー The scene shifts to café Tarte Tatin

*Cling*

Ayato: ...So what are we gonna do now...?

Yui: ...Yeah...

( For real, what should we do? )

( We have to get the key repaired by the end of today...Yet, we weren’t able to find the crystal in the end... )

Ayato: Say, I’ve been thinkin’. Don’t you think that Count might have one of those crystals in his possession?

He’s been goin’ ‘round stealing treasures from all ‘round the Demon World, so he’s bound to have one or two magical crystals amongst his collection...

Yui: ...I can definitely picture it...

( We had no other choice but to steal from the eagle to repair the key...I’m sure the Count watched all of that go down as well... )

( He might just be able to give us some advice at least... )

...Good point. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask

Ayato: We don’t exactly have much other choice. With that settled, let’s quickly finish our meal and get goin’.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Ayato: Oh, oi! Check that out!

Yui: Eh?

Waah...!

Ayato: It’s the Water Parade. Seems like we got here just on time.

Yui: Yeah, you’re right. It’s really pretty...

Ayato: ...

Say, listen...

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: ‘Bout the eagle’s nest from earlier...I’m sorry.

You actually weighed your options, didn’t you? Yet I kept on givin’ you crap for it...

Yui: ...

It’s fine. I should apologize as well. 

Even though...You tried so hard to get that crystal...

Ayato: ...Hey, Yui. Lift your face.

ー He steps closer

Yui: Eh? ...Nn...

Ayato: Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ( ...What a gentle kiss... )

( It’s always as if his kindness is being conveyed to me... )

Ayato: ...Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ( I can tell even if he doesn’t say it out loud. That deep down... )

( He’s really thinking of what’s best for me... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 2

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 4]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ SUBARU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ RUKI]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ KOU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #4 [W/ YUMA]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #5 [W/ SHIN]

[365days365movies]

January 29-31, 2021: The Mad Max Franchise

Now that I’ve finished watching all of the Mad Max films, I can confidently say that I am indeed a fan! The journeys of the ex-cop through a post-apocalyptic landscape that just gets increasingly worse and worse. Yeah, I can dig it.

And so, I thought it’d be fitting to talk about all of these movies at once, rather than just talk about them one at a time. And I mean ALL of these movies. After all, I started this month by saying the Fury Road was my favorite action film; might as well end it talking about the movie!

Recap

Mad Max: 78%

Mad Max was a great movie, honestly. It’s also HANDS-DOWN the weakest of the quadrilogy. I think that, since this is Miller’s first film, as well as being the first in this franchise in general, this is Miller carving out this universe on screen for the first time, so it doesn’t feel as fleshed out and as stylistically unique as the succeeding films. So, it’s hard to hold that against this film. Anyway, let’s break it down a little.

Cast and Acting: It’s legitimately nice to see Mel Gibson before he became...well, Mel Gibson, at least from a cinematic standpoint. And yes, Hugh Keays-Byrne is certainly memorable as Toecutter, and is a fitting first villain to the franchise. But, uh...that’s it for standout performances. Yeah, Joanne Samuel is endearing as Jess, and I like Steve Bisley as Goose, of course. But they don’t take the spotlight in my memory as much as our main two players. Which, obviously, is fine, but I like me a good supporting character in there as well. Still, this is getting a good 8/10 from me.

Plot and Writing: Plot’s you’re pretty standard cop story. Cop is awesome, cop wants to quit to spend time with family, cop’s family is killed by the villain, cop destroys villain. Not much outside of that. The biggest thing to praise to story for is the mild universe-building given to us. And even then, there isn’t a whole lot. Not, of course, that there needs to be. Credit goes to George Miller, Byron Kennedy, and James McCausland for this 7/10.

Directing and Action: George Miller’s cutting his teeth on the celluloid for the first time, and it’s awesome...for a first-time director, anyway. As for the action: yes, please. It doesn’t have the same pageant s future entries in this franchise, but it’s certainly great at the same time. Overall, 8/10 here.

Production and Art Design: It’s beginning, even though it’s not there yet. This universe hasn’t become the post-apocalyptic hellscape that it’s going to become, but the beginnings are there. Because of this, leather might be a dominating fashion choice, but...not as much as its gonna be. But, OK, let’s stop comparing this to the rest of the franchise. On its own merits, this film looks good! Doesn’t stand out too harshly from the crowd, but it still looks quite good. So, 8/10 here, too!

Music and Editing: Tony Patterson and, yes, George Miller were the editors for this mad boy, and they sought to make an Australian film with a fast-editing style, and in a way that the film could work without sound, as well as with. They way they incorporated sound and music (by Brian May, but not the one you’re thinking) into the film would actually be incorporated as industry standard practice in general! Wow! So for all that...8/10. It’s good, but this is early in their careers, so it can be a teensy bt choppy at time. And the music’s recognizable, but not particularly memorable after the fact. But still, 8/10.

Mad Max 2 AKA The Road Warrior: 92%

This is where I start to fall in love with the franchise. The Road Warrior is where the franchise really begins for me, and it’s EXTREMELY high up on my favorite action films list for this month. Obviously not the highest, but it’s up there for sure.

Cast and Acting: Gibson’s starting to come into his own and own this character, and I think this film is where he’s at his finest as Max. Definitely the most memorable and noteworthy. Antagonists, both Vernon Wells and Wez, and Kjell Nilsson as Lord Humungus, are fanTAStic, and I love them both. Supporting cast also ain’t no slouch this time! Bruce Spence’s Gyro is a wonderful character, and extremely fun to watch. Even the settlers, like Michael Preston’s noble portrayal of Papagallo, were memorable to me. Great cast all around, and they’re getting a 9/10 from me. Why not a 10? Well, for all of those performances, there’s also Feral Kid and Toadie...so, it’s not perfect

Plot and Writing: Plot’s definitely more interesting this time around! We’ve gone into the deep end of apocalypse, as compared to the first film, and we instead get an enforcer storyline for Max. And, yeah, I love that. This movie would carve out the tone of the rest of the franchise, and there’s a reason for that: it’s great. Terry Hayes, Brian Hannant, and of course, George Miller, you guys get a 9/10 for this one, too!

Directing and Action: Right off the bat 10/10. Action is AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE, and George Miller is doing a great job with directing. Not much to say here, other than the fact that this movie looks fantastic, all the way through.

Production and Art Design: A 9/10. This is where the franchise comes into its own, and it does that with a HELL of a lot of leather and metal studs. And yeah, the villains of this movie have a BDSM vibe about them, but it’s still iconic. Not to mention that the vehicles are now taking their true, metal-modded forms. Again, 9/10.

Music and Editing: Brian May turned it UP this time, and the music here is iconic and great. Editing’s pretty good, too, although I did notice some spotty sound editing areas, like in Mad Max. For this one, 9/10 as well.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome: 86%

I honestly wish this was rated higher for me, but there are a few issues that I did have with it. However, I gotta say, this one might be the second-highest in my heart. You know what the number one is. Still, I wanna talk about this one, because it’s what made be fall in love with the universe of this franchise.

Cast and Acting: By the time we get here, Mel Gibson is, well...Mel Gibson. He kind of stops inhabiting the role of Max at this point, and becomes the ‘80s and ‘90s action star that we’re all familiar with. So instead, the focus should be on the villains. Tina Turner! WHOOOOOO, Aunty Entity! Look, I love Lord Humungus, but Tina Turner definitely beats him in terms of character. And I might like Wez, but I love MasterBlaster, and...well, mostly Angelo Rossitto. Paul Larsson’s good too, even though there isn’t much acting in the role. And then, there’s Helen Buday, Tom Jennings, and the rest of the desert kids. And let’s not forget Bruce Spence or Edwin Hodgeman! Yeah, this one earns its 9/10 for some memorable performances. Might not have been Oscar-worthy, but they have a special place in my heart.

Plot and Writing: Intricate plot this time! It does seem like George Miller and Terry Hayes get better and better with each movie. Real talk, the universe-building in this one is INTENSE, and well-done for that matter. And the writing’s good as well. This one gets another 8/10, because it’s not perfect in the writing department, but it’s still damn good!

Directing and Action: Y’know, weirdly, 8/10 on this one. Yeah, the action’s pretty damn light here, as compared to the previous two films. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, I love me some good character development and story. But if I’m judging it for action, it’s a bit less. Still, direction’s fantastic; definitely George Miller’s best effort so far. So, 8/10.

Production and Art Design: No surprise, but it’s a 10/10 here. The style of these films is evolve WAY FURTHER with this one, as we get the sense that the world has gotten worse, just by pure physical comparison. And yet, everything is starting to return to some kind of rudimentary order, with places such as Bartertown. Yeah, this one RULES visually, and I would say it’s arguably the best yet.

Music and Editing: Well, music’s still good, but the tone shift from rock instrumentals is a little jarring. Still, for the score, Maurice Jarre does good. And, yeah, Turner’s power ballad, “We Don’t Need Another Hero”, is more well-remembered than the movie itself by many. Hell, I had NO IDEA that this song came from this movie. But for all of that (and for great editing), an 8/10 is going here.

Mad Max Fury Road: 94%

Need I say anything? Let’s get into this one.

Cast and Acting: Well, Tom Hardy’s Max Rocktansky is fine, and definitely takes off of Gibson’s earlier portrayals, but I can’t really say he’s the absolute star. No, that’s the Atomic Blonde herself, Charlize Theron. Furiosa is FAR more memorable than Max here, and that’s pretty obviously on purpose. And hey, Hugh Keays-Byrne is back for a FAR more memorable villain in Immortan Joe. GOD, I love Joe; he’s great. And again, supporting cast aren’t slouching a BIT. Nicholas Hoult, Rose Huntington-Whiteley, and of course...iOTA. You know, the Doof Warrior. Yeah. The dude who plays the blind flamethrower guitarist on the back of a truck is called the Doof Warrior, and is played by a dude who calls himself iOTA. I LOVE THIS GODDAMN MOVIE. 10/10!

Plot and Writing: OK, I’l freely admit that this is the weakest element of an otherwise amazing movie. Because, yeah, it’s basically one long chase with some background plot. Not bad, but not great at the same time. While it’s certainly engaging, and the writing is overly memorable, I’m still giving this one an 8/10.

Directing and Action: I mean...c’mon. 10/10.

Production and Art Design: I mean...COME ON. 10/10!

Music and Editing: MUUUUUUSIC. Junkie XL is the composer this time, and he’s put to excellent usage. Yeah, this is the most memorable music in the franchise, bar none. And the editing is also great, as per usual. While it’s not on my playlist (yet), it deserves to be, just for pump-up music. Although, if I listen to that while driving...eh, maybe not. 9/10!

And the winner is Mad Max Fury Road, at a...94%.

Wait...94%? OH. OH NO.

That means...it’s been dethroned? I, uh...I’m gonna have to figure that out. End-of-month summary?

End-of-month summary. See you later today, people.

[tarithenurse]

Stolen - 19

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson &/x fem!gifted!reader Content: Frigga <3 Some angsting and feels and pining. A/N: So apparently visits by relatives to patients are going to be unrestricted from now on (government’s decision) which means one of the most important ways to control the risk of Corona within the health care system is gonna be flushed down the drain. If a second wave is gonna hit in my country, it’ll start now...and I’m still wiped out after the last 6 months of strain/stress/etc.

19. Strange Same Dogma

...  Loki   ...

He’s at [Y/N]’s side when she approaches the gates to Valhalla the next day. Disguised as her servant, Loki’s role is mute whenever others are nearby (unless addressed directly) though he is prepared to whisper advice discreetly if the guards prove difficult.

Two golden-armoured einherjar are in their usual spots, blocking the way, but neither are given a chance to speak before the Midgardian embraces her role. “My name is [Y/N] and I have come to seek audience with queen Frigga. I know you must confer with her majesty, however my travels have led me far since I left Alfheim and the gracious hospitality of the High Priestess.” With the Älfir garb and the impeccable posture, she looks the part. “I presume temporary accommodations can be arranged.”

The last bit carries the tiniest hint of a question’s intonation, precisely enough to prevent coming over as either rude or begging, and as one einherjar ensures the message of the visitor is relayed the other calls for a servant to arrange (and escort the duo to) a waiting chamber.

It takes a moment before Loki is alone with the mortal again and he knows the peace will be short lived.

“I’m impressed, my pet.” He adores the way [Y/N] beams with pride. “Anyone would assume you are of royal heritage.”

Any other words dry up in his throat and the former prince allows himself to fall silent, eyes seemingly studying the familiar stones beneath his feet while in reality gazing unseeingly.

He’s home. Frigga’s lullabies ghost these halls at the edge of hearing, calling for the lost child to retrace the paths from years ago even now as time and fate have warped him into the grown man he is today. How long has it been? Surely, not long enough that he cannot find the way around the palace blindfolded if need be. And, oh, to revisits the favourite nooks and best reading spots or to climb the spires only to greet the first stars even before they have dared look above the horizon. Loki’s heart clenches at the madman’s hope of strolling through his mother’s garden which smells of herbs and safety.

...  Reader  ...

The place is much grander than your wildest imaginations had prepared you for. Gold, rich stones and woods, precious stones, all coming together in sharp lines reaching high above you. The place does not hold the natural flow of Alfheim’s temple – there, Art Nouveau from Earth had been the closest resemblance – rather favouring something akin to Art Deco. Still, neither style truly encompasses what you see or have seen and if given the freedom, you’d easily spend hours studying the palace.

But, sitting in silence, all the decadence of the room loses the welcoming glamour as a chill saturates the air. You instinctively move to sit next to Loki on the pillow-covered bench. He doesn’t blink. Doesn’t seem to notice your closeness. Leaning in slightly, you don’t see tears in those emerald eyes of his but are met with a pained emptiness. It’s haunting.

What can I do? Nervous of potential violent reactions, you don’t exactly feel like shaking him out of the stupor – whatever you decide to do must be subtle. Your gaze falls to where he has drawn his lips into a thin line and of course you wonder how it would feel if to have his mouth respond if you were to kiss him. Don’t be an idiot! No, the man might have taken a liking to teasing you but while it’d doesn’t make sense why, you know it can’t be from wanting you.

So, you do the only thing you can think of and slip your fingers in between his, squeezing the cool hand gently in the same rhythm of your breathing.

Time pass. The wintry bite in the air softens. Loki’s breathing slowly adapts to match the speed indicated with each careful nudge of your fingers. Eventually, his hand curls to return the gesture, and now the lack of words is peaceful, a sacred promise of a haven for all that remains unspoken.

One final squeeze, then Loki disentangles from the hold to shrug. “We must uphold the charade of Lady and servant, my dear.”

You know he’s right...but it your heart still objects to the distance when you return to the previous seat. You’re glad when, just as expected, it doesn’t take long before a guard arrives with an update.

“Queen Frigga has accepted the request for an audience.” Both of you get up. “Only you, lady [Y/N].”

This isn’t part of the plan and you can’t help glancing to Loki who nods imperceptibly as he sits back down. There’s a calm in his eyes that soothes you. The man might have gotten you wrapped up in his messy life, but you have no doubt anymore: he’ll see you through it too.

Turning to face the guard, you straighten up. “Of course.”

...

The queen of Asgard is not alone when you’re shown into the grand room. A host of other women, presumably a mix of servants and nobles, are gathered around her like a space posse with snacks, drinks, and gossip which continues uninterrupted as you enter. Stopping just past the door, forlorn at the sight of the gorgeousness of it all, the guard pushes you gently towards a woman at the centre.

Frigga is sitting on a couch, deeply engrossed in conversation with a couple of the other ladies. Her blond hair is done up elaborately with the exception of a few long ringlets and the dress is the most heavenly sky-blue, flowy thing – the kind you’ve only seen in fantasy books or medieval images.

“Your highness,” your escort announces, “lady [Y/N] of...” his voice trails off, unsure how to finish as you never told him where you’re from.

Managing an awkward bow, nothing has prepared you for Loki’s mother swooping over to grasp both your hands.

“Lady [Y/N]! I’m delighted to meet you!” The wholehearted smile dazzles you as some of her son is evident in the gleam of her eye. “Rumour of your prowess precedes you. Come, sit with me.”

Frigga doesn’t have to say anything for the two conversational ex-partners to get up with delicate nods. Even with the purple, Älfir dress you’re wearing, you feel out of place – a commoner pretending to be royal. That’s exactly what I’m doing. And you’re glad to have your hands back as your palms start to get sweaty.

“Forgive the informal welcome, we were not aware of your arrival.”

Frowning slightly, you can’t detect the sarcasm Loki has introduced to your daily life. “My travels have held several surprises even for me.” Please don’t dig in it.

The smirk familiar despite the shimmer of something unidentifiable. “I know the Älfir were saddened when you took your leave. How did you find your stay there?”

“Oh, the planet is breathtaking and they are very kind and generous!” At least this isn’t a lie.

“The first is indisputable, though I dare say not many will agree on the latter...however,” the queen reconsiders, “I suppose you are special to them as you have saved their High Priestess.”

They’re not friendly normally? “I...I guess...” A nagging in the back of your mind has been activated and you know it won’t stop until you’ve asked Loki about a couple of things.

“No need for modesty, lady [Y/N].” Again, Frigga looks genuinely delighted. “A mortal, but with the magic of old Alfheim running through the veins...it is no wonder they welcomed you as they did.” Oh? “Please indulge me: how has this come to be? Who has trained you in the arts of magic?”

And there it is: the gaping hole surrounding the ability you’ve grown up with.

For years, you felt like a freak. No one were like you or could tell you why songs with strange words would well out of your mouth. It had isolated you more often than not, forcing you to start over when people who didn’t understand started to fear you instead. I did no harm. But that had never mattered. It was enough to simply be different.

Pushing the memories aside, you look down at your hands that are wringing the sleeves. “I don’t know.” Ugh, don’t sound so pathetic! “It has always just been me, trying to figure out these things on my own, your highness.”

“Hm.” Frigga’s palms are soft when she plies your fingers from the stretched hem. “I see why he brought you here, then.”

“Who?” With all that has happened, you should be used to fear clawing inside your chest like now.

Rather than answer you, the queen merely announces the room at large, “Leave us. All of you.” The last bit is addressed to the guard that you only now notice has stayed by the door. “And see to it that the chambers have been prepared.”

They must know the drill, these fancy women, because no one complains or looks surprised as they file out. Even if you had felt out of place with all of them around, the sense of foreboding and displacement doesn’t lessen, and you try to avoid meeting the piercing gaze of the queen in the hopes of keeping up the charade – a near impossible endeavour as she studies you in silence until the door clicks shut.

“Let us abandon pretense, me dear,” Frigga sighs before urgency takes over. “How is my son? How is Loki?”

Fuck. She can’t...can she? Like mother like son? Oh, crap. “I don’t know wha-”

“Tish-tosh. It is hard for me – and Heimdal – to track him. My boy has always been intelligent and...well, sneaky. But a mother knows her child, and when we learned someone with such a gift had been abducted from Midgard? Well, I had my suspicions as to his plans.” It’s impossible to tell if the proud smirk is due to her own success in figuring out what was going on or Loki’s accomplishments. “He learned nigh everything he knows from me, and despite the turmoil in his heart there is reason behind his madness.”

“Don’t call him mad!” It pops out of your mouth before you can think and your heart almost follows, getting stuck in the throat on the way and blocking any intake of air.

Frigga’s hands are warm, unlike the man in question’s. Tenderly, they cup your cheeks, rubbing circles on the skin until the rhythm echoes in your body and breathing becomes possible once more.

“Do not fret,” the queen and mother instructs. “I shall not ask where he is or if they two of you are colluding. All I wish is that he is...is...” Wetness wells in her eyes, briefly but long enough for you to recognize it. “He has been struggling and so I hope he has found a gentler path to tread on the way to redemption. Any proper mother would feel assured knowing that their son does not walk alone.”

This is his home. Sure, Asgard itself has been where Loki grew up, the place he still belongs to despite what he has said about Jotunheim and Odin’s rejection. But you begin to suspect that the real reason for the strong attachment is sitting right before you. So much of Frigga’s small mannerisms have been passed on to her adoptive son though her pride has been tempered by a wisdom your companion hasn’t gained yet.

“Worry not, dear,” the queen interrupts you thought, “all will fall into place in time and until then, I may be able to teach you more about your gift and how to hone it. You shall be my guest in Valhalla. Welcome to Asgard.”

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Pigments

Art Teacher Molly! Based on a set of head canons I posted a little while ago

Please consider reblogging or leaving a comment on Ao3!

--------

Caleb’s school had been a handful of rooms in the town hall building. He and the other children of the village had been roughly divided into two groups by age and taken by either the town’s only cleric, a dwarven priestess of Erathis who’d been sent to Blumenthal years ago to establish a strong faith amongst those people of the earth and had remained despite the local’s pleasant indifference, or the herbalist whenever she left the store with her nephew. Caleb would complete every task set for him within ten minutes and, instead, would be allowed to sit in the corner and read while the other children staggered their way through multiplication and verbs and basic Dwarvish. He read everything that could be found within the building, even staying in during playtime. The herbalist would share her tea with him and bring him scones when she could see that his parents were having a rough month.

Even as everything between who Caleb was now and that small child with unruly red curls and hollow cheeks and big eyes, even as all of it cracked and broke and rotted away for a number of reasons, it wouldn’t take much to bring him back to that little room. The dust motes dancing through the sunlight slanding in through the windows and falling on the blackboard with lines and lines of loopy handwriting that was clearly made to draw intricate sketches of plants and write labels on bottles of strange green liquids. The taste of flour and sugar baked together on his tongue, heavy with cherries, nettle tea, the taste of reassurance that maybe his stomach wouldn’t ache so bad when he went to bed that night, that maybe his mother’s heart wouldn’t break quite so much when she saw him. The promise of new words, so many it felt like he could barely hold them all in his mind, but he’d still always want more. Feeling like maybe one day he would be somewhere that would appreciate him for everything he knew.

It didn’t take much to send Caleb back there, to remind him of his days at school. Any little similarity would do it. But standing here, in an actual school, all he could think was how different it was from his own.

Molly’s hand hadn’t left his own since they’d gotten into the taxi. Caleb thought that meant the date was going well. The thought gave him a happy warmth in the bottom of his stomach, though he was very aware of his own inexperience. He wouldn’t really know if it was going well one way or the other, he had next to no data to fall back on.

But there was something in the way Molly kept stealing glances at him, leaving Caleb to just catch the slightest edge of his glance, the way there would always be a smile on his face whenever it happened. Almost as if just the sight of Caleb still sat beside him was enough to make Molly smile.

The hallways were left by the wide windows to alternate strangely between pitch black and wonky squares of yellow streetlight. The only noises were their own footsteps and the muted rumble of cars and voices outside. Of course, at nearly midnight, there was absolutely no one in the school.

“Are you sure we’re allowed to be here so late?” Caleb finally asked, his voice reverberating off tiles in shadow that he couldn’t even see.

Molly turned a little from where he was determinedly leading the way through the corridors and up the silent stairs, “Of course.” His hand, the one that wasn’t entwined with Caleb’s, reached into his shoulder bag and flashed a red lanyard with a faded, blurry picture of a far younger purple tiefling, “I’m staff. And you’re my guest.”

If he couldn’t see the staff badge for himself, Caleb wouldn’t have been able to believe that the loud, extravagant, naturally hedonistic singer he’d been dating for a month now was a teacher by day. The idea of Molly being an authority figure was like trying to imagine a fish climbing a tree or a shark swimming backwards. Something just wasn’t right about it.

But there was his name on the door they were approaching, Mr Tealeaf, neatly typed out in large, rounded letters surrounded by childish cartoons of paint brushes and easels, clearly added by whoever had made the sign in an attempt to make it brighter. But the stickers that had been placed around it with a heavy, generous hand and the graffiti style doodles done in loud, colourful marker were undoubtedly the work of Molly himself.

“Also I leave stuff in my classroom all the time,” Molly added, a little bashfully, “They gave me a key after the one time they found me trying to climb through the window. Someone called the police.”

Caleb had to smile at the mental image, “What did you forget that time?”

Molly suddenly seemed very interested in his keys as he put them in the door, “Uh, my phone.”

Caleb’s smile grew, “The same thing we’re having to come back here to get right this moment?”

Molly turned and poked him in the chest with a finger tipped by a long, deep red nail, playfully challenging, “What’s your point, Widogast?”

“Nothing at all,” Caleb showed his palms, his grin not fading at all.

Molly flicked his tail at him and disappeared into the classroom, “I wouldn’t bother but it’s got the cinema tickets on my email…”

Caleb nodded along, more absorbed in looking around. Even with the light off, the small space was a riot of muted colour, there wasn’t an inch of the walls that wasn’t covered in an art piece of some description. One was groaning under what looked like three classes worth of crookedly sewn embroidered patches, one dripped with just as many watercolours, one had bunting haphazardly strung up that boughed under a store’s worth of bead bracelets and paper flower garlands. Even things that couldn’t be pinned up found their place; the long banks of sinks that circled the room like a moat had sculptures standing sentinel, frozen in the act of listing slightly to the left or right.

Where there wasn’t displays of work there were boards on different artists and movements, one about Frida Kahlo backed by loud, patterned fabric, one about Van Gough set against a recreation of Starry Night done with twists of blue silk. The others were people Caleb had never heard of but he was sure he’d know everything he needed to after reading all of the carefully typed out squares of information.

Though the colour could only slightly be seen with the lack of light, Caleb could practically smell it. The scent of charcoal and pigment and fresh paper was on nearly everything, buoyed by strong coffee and sugary tea. Less pleasant was the slightest smell of stagnant water, probably left in paint trays and clinging to brushes, though it was mild enough that Caleb didn’t mind.

Molly went straight to his desk while Caleb was still staring, digging around in drawers that looked like they were overflowing until he came up with his phone, “There you are, you bastard. Yasha said she was going to super glue it to my hand if I left it at work again, let’s hope she’s forgotten that...”

Caleb made a soft noise of affirmation, ninety nine percent of his attention still on the room around him.

Molly gave a soft chuckle, “Do you like it? I know it weirds some people out, they can’t imagine me actually doing this as a job.”

Caleb’s eyes flickered over to Molly, managing to pull himself out of a sudden hyperfixation on L. S. Lowry. He allowed himself a long moment just to look at him, standing there in the half light. Though all they’d been planning to do was go to the pictures and get a few drinks afterwards, he was dressed as extravagantly as ever. Enough piercings to make his ears droop a little, a shirt made of nothing but glittering mesh patterned with stars over a tight vest and leather pants tucked into boots that went up to his knees. Not much on display but everything hinted at, his tattoos vibrant even in shadow. He looked as far away from a teacher as anyone could imagine.

But Caleb could see touches of him everywhere in the room they stood in. He saw him in the messiness of the desk but how he clearly knew where everything was regardless. He saw his guiding hand in every single work of art on the wall, he saw him in the gushing praise scribbled in red pen on the front of the pile of test papers near his computer. He saw him in the tin of biscuits right by his elbow, ready to be brought out at a moment’s notice for a child who was having a hard day or who’d achieved something after trying so hard.

Or a child who maybe hadn’t had any breakfast that day.

Caleb felt his lower lip wobble dangerously for a moment but he quickly brought it under control, managing to smile, “I don’t think it’s weird. I can’t imagine a job more perfect for you.”

Molly beamed at that, some pride warming his eyes now as he gently touched a piece of paper lying on his desk, a pencil drawing done in bright colours that was clearly meant to be himself done by a child that had clearly just been introduced to Cubism.

“Well,” he was even blushing a little, around the edges, “I do enjoy it. And that is about the nicest thing anyone’s said to me about my job.”

“Well, it’s true,” Caleb leaned against one of the tables, one hand awkwardly seizing his arm, though the smile on his face was undeniable, spreading across his face the more Molly kept looking at him like that.

Molly twirled his tail between his fingers. Was Caleb thinking wishfully or did he always do that when he was feeling charmed? His eyes roved over his desk, looking like he was trying to decide whether something was a good idea or whether it would come off as dorky.

“I...I have something for you,” he eventually grinned, eyes flickering up to Caleb, “Call it a prize for coming on this rescue mission with me.”

“Oh?” Caleb leaned forward slightly, hoping it might be a kiss.

Molly swept up, ringing slightly as he went with all his adornments, “My students were learning about mosaic and glass work? So we did a little jewellery making and seeing how I have to demo everything, I ended up with this…”

Caleb suddenly found something small and smooth in his hand. He looked to see a bracelet, a simple loop of black string with rounded, oblong beads in alternating sea green and vibrant blue.

“They’ll really bring out the colours of your eyes,” Molly murmured hopefully, “They always remind me of the sea so I guess I must subconsciously have been...thinking of you? While I made it? I must have always meant to give you it, even before I realised it.”

Caleb’s mouth opened, hoping words adequate to express just how much the gift meant to him would just come pouring out. Of course they didn’t, he was just left stammering until he stopped himself and just looked Molly in the eye as he slipped the bracelet over his skinny wrist.

“I love it, Molly. Thank you.”

Judging by Molly’s face, Caleb’s eyes must have said what his words couldn’t. That was when he got his kiss, sweet and gentle, coloured in moonlight.

And the bracelet would stay on his wrist all night. And the many dates they’d have after their slightly delayed trip to the cinema.

And the years they’d have together after that.

[hoogiehowser]

MEDIA DIARY JANUARY

:::::::::: MOVIES ::::::::::

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) I liked this so much I ended up seeing it twice. The animation is on a whole different level from everything else in theaters I just can’t believe it. Nothing has immediately endeared me to a character more that when Miles gets to the place where he’s going to put up graffiti and yells “BROOKLYN!” to get the echo. Absolutely perfect. 

Happy Death Day (2017) The trailer looked good but the trailer for the sequel looked even better. Good time repeating movie. Way better than Blood Punch. I’m excited to see more of this.

Alien: Covenant (2017) Had no clue what to expect going in but I actually dug it. It’s just Alien again like every Alien movie but what they do with David from Prometheus makes it really interesting. There’s also some straight up slasher movie sleaze that definitely appeals to me.

MacGruber (2010) It’s just a bunch of dick jokes while a bad action movie happens. There’s no clever spin to it.

Better Luck Tomorrow (2002) Wanted to watch this due to the Fast & Furious connection. It’s a great movie about overachievers and getting away with shit. I think Justin Lin is a great director and his unique voice benefits every movie he does.

Collateral (2004) I didn’t realize until the credits that this was a Michael Mann movie but it was so obvious in hindsight. The premise is simple, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx are great, and everything comes together in a genuinely cool film.

Wilson (2017) Based on a comic I don’t particularly like from Dan Clowes’ grumpy old man phase. The cool thing about the comic is that each page works on its own and has a different art style. The movie can’t do that. But it’s still faithful to the book which means it feels like a series of one page gags strung together until it finishes. Woody and Laura Dern are great though and it is pretty funny at times.

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare (2018) There was another truth or dare based horror movie a year before that was a Syfy original. The Syfy one is better. The problem with them both is the supernatural contrivances that make people play truth or dare against their will. It’s such a strained premise.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) Guy Ritchie made a King Arthur movie and it feels exactly like you’d expect. 

Thoroughbreds (2017) Girl who can’t feel emotions befriends girl who is very politely hiding her extreme emotions. Things get bad when they start to think about murder. Anton Yelchin plays a druggie scumbag loser. It’s such a good movie. 100% my kind of thing.

:::::::::: TV ::::::::::

The Great British Baking Show (Beginnings, Collections 1-4) Got addicted to this one. I love cooking competitions shows and pleasant ones are usually the best. I like seeing competitors that like each other. I like Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry not trying to tear people down. I love Mel and Sue. It’s just a nice show for the nice people.

Toei Spider-Man (Episodes 1-5) I’m not a big toku guy but Spider-Verse got me curious about various Spider-Men. Takuya Yamashiro wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he was injected with blood from the last survivor of Planet Spider and carries out a mission against Professor Monster’s Iron Cross Army to avenge Planet Spider and his own father. Next to nothing present from the classic Lee/Ditko Spider-Man and that’s totally alright. I’m going to try to watch more because the episode where Spider-Man has to donate his blood to hurt child has some serious heart.

The Prisoner (Episodes 7-17) I started watching this a while ago but only now got around to finishing. Mostly super clever plots and the atmosphere is always great. Patrick McGoohan sells it every single time. Some of the later episodes go really off the rails though. There’s an entire wild west episode. Nothing in this stretch tops my favorite episode, The Schizoid Man, where Number Two brainwashes Number Six to act differently and then forces Number Six to pretend to be Number Six while a different man is already pretending to be Number Six. The ending is solid though and carries a really good tv series to a confusing, surreal end.

Cutthroat Kitchen (Season 7, Episodes 1-7) Polar opposite of The Great British Baking Show. It’s the Mario Kart of cooking competition shows. Everyone tries to fuck each other over and Alton laughs at them the entire time. It’s brilliant.

:::::::::: PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ::::::::::

TJPW Tokyo Joshi Pro ‘19 (January 4) I don’t follow TJPW and don’t know any of their wrestlers besides Meiko Satomura but I watched this because it was on before Wrestle Kingdom. Meiko vs Reika Saiki definitely made the show worth watching and the rest was pretty alright. Lots of fun, new personalities that I like.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 13 (January 4) Probably the most I’ve looked forward to a show and it absolutely delivered. For the past few years I’d watch WK and recommended matches but in in July I started following everything NJPW. That added investment made this WK special. Ibushi/Ospreay tore it up and I really hope Ibushi recovers soon. Jay White/Okada shocked me. Naito/Jericho was fucking brutal. And Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi was a match I was so invested in that I thought I was going to cry. If you haven’t checked out New Japan yet this show would make an excellent start. GO ACE!

Impact Homecoming (January 6) Impact has gotten pretty good. I’ve only seen a few of their most recent ppvs but it’s obvious that they have a wealth of talent and they’re willing to tell the kind of dumb stories that I really like. Since Homecoming was in Nashville I went and it was one of the best shows I’ve been to. The energy was insane all night and LAX vs Lucha Bros has to be the best match I’ve seen live. Now that they air on Twitch I’ve been following the weekly show and enjoying it quite a bit.

WWE Royal Rumble (January 27) I always love the rumble but the rumble was weird. Both rumble matches were okay but filled with dumb stuff and way too many recovery spots that were immediately deflated by the person getting eliminated. I like the winners. AJ/Daniel didn’t deliver like I wanted. Sasha and Ronda had a good match. I loved how Finn Balor worked Brock Lesnar’s diverticulitis. Fun show.

NXT UK Takeover Blackpool (January 12) NXT UK doesn’t really grip me aside from the women’s division. I liked this well enough but nothing really changed my mind. Finn Balor made a surprise appearance and he looked like such a star compared to everyone else. Excited to see what WALTER can do here though.

GCW 400 Degreez (January 12) GCW’s brand of hardcore indie nonsense is my absolute favorite. 400 Degreez isn’t the best they’ve done but it was full of disgusting beautiful deathmatch bullshit. Markus Crane vs Nate Webb especially.

NXT Takeover Phoenix (January 26) Takeover always delivers. Johnny Gargano vs Ricochet was definitely the match of the night. I don’t dig the War Raiders schtick but their match was great. Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler also killed it.

:::::::::: COMICS ::::::::::

One Piece by Eiichiro Oda (Volumes 1-10) I wanted something long to start reading so why not One Piece? Enjoying it so far. I like getting the crew together and Usopp’s story in particular is great. Oda is a master cartoonist. I love every time we get reaction faces.

Spider-Man: Fever by Brendan McCarthy Spider-Man fever got me wanting to revisit Spider-Man: Fever because I remember liking it. I still like it. Doctor Strange accidentally opens a doorway into a spider dimension and Spider-Man gets caught in Doctor Strange’s bathtub and the alternate dimension spiders take him. All this and McCarthy’s art make Fever pretty far out. 

Spider-Man 2099 by Peter David, Kelley Jones, and Rick Leonardi (1-15) Miguel O’Hara wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he had Peter Parker’s DNA put into him by weird future DNA machine and he wages war against the gigantic corporations that control everything. I like Spider-Man 2099. Miguel is so different from the Peter Parker archetype and he’s got claws and fangs. He’s brutal. It’s got a neat post-hero future kind of like Batman Beyond. I stopped reading because the next part is a crossover with Punisher 2099, Ravage 2099, Doom 2099, and X-Men 2099. I’ll hopefully pick it back up because I want to know what happens with the hologram that’s in love with Miguel. 

Spider-Man by Kazumasa Hirai & Ryoichi Ikegami Yu Komori was bitten by a radioactive spider and he definitely wishes he wasn’t. It starts off a lot like our usual Spider-Man but the villains are so much more tragic and Yu deals with some heavy shit. Ikegami’s art evolves from cartoony to serious as the tone of the book changes. He’s a really incredible artist who is consistently pulling neat tricks and trying new things. I really liked this and it may top my favorite Spider-Man comics. It’s just so bleak and unforgiving to poor Yu. By the way, the final plotline is exactly the same as the Sonny Chiba movie Wolf Guy. Turns out the comic that movie was based on was written by the same guy that write Spider-Man. An odd find.

:::::::::: VIDEOGAMES ::::::::::

Axiom Verge Had my eye on this for a long time and finally picked it up on sale on my Switch. It’s okay. There are a lot of clever ideas here that I don’t think work for me. But I do like the decorrupter and the teleport. Some of the movement feels great but some stuff like the grappling hook feels awful. I hate the story. Completely incoherent sci-fi nonsense. But it’s a fun game and I enjoyed my time with it.

Hollow Knight I’ve spent about 30 hours on this game and I feel like I’m close to the end of the story. I absolutely love it. The movement, the combat, and the exploration all feel excellent. I’ve played over ten metroidvanias in the past year (I really like them) and this might be the best. My favorite part about them is how you’re almost never wasting time because there are new secrets to discover all across the map and Hollow Knight does such a good job with that.

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 10: Orphan Black 5x04

Extremely depressed today but I think it’s passing a little and I’m starting to form new resolutions to, uh, magically be better and be a different person lol.

Anyway, I did watch OB. It was really good! I feel like we are finally getting close to some kinda.. end point. The tension is getting so drawn out that the stakes for the eventual Reveal are getting pretty high. But I’ll retain trust. It worries me that OB’s strong point has never been Actually Explaining Stuff (as opposed to describing the atmosphere around the stuff) but it heartens me that they do seem to be referring specifically to some kind of goal, like there does seem to be a goal. I’ve been worried for a while that the goal was just “to control human genetics and modify the species” because that’s as detailed as they’ve ever gotten. But this ep included not only Susan telling Ira that she and PT disagree on methods only, not the end goal--in a potent, cliffhanger way that implies there’s an end goal just out of the viewer’s sight--but also S specifically questioning that generic “control genetics” goal. So--could be leading somewhere.

I really enjoyed the two main plots of the ep: S and Sarah on a mother-daughter con and Cosima investigating the island. I love the atmosphere of the island. I feel like if you told me in S1 that the show would eventually wind its way to some obscure island with a cult living on it and a creature in the woods I’d be supremely suspicious but... I’m digging it. The classic horror vibes of the whole Creature story line were really well rendered. I also loved how the reveal of the actual person was cut with the explanation from Virginia Coady. I mean it’s a very classic plot but very effective--horrifying, scary, and believable in the greater context of the story. Not surprising, but in a good way--a twist that felt earned, to the degree of not really being a twist. They’re mad scientists! One of my favorite horror tropes!

Sarah and S doing the extended con together felt organic, felt right. It’s wild we’re in S5 and we’ve never seen this from them before! Mrs. S’s criminal past has always felt different from Sarah’s--more about vague revolutionary ideology, hiding from Nefarious Bad Sources, whereas Sarah was a minor con and a drug dealer. But they do have overlapping skills--and S is where Sarah gets hers. I enjoyed the underscoring of their relationship by the psychologist also, the ‘she’s dealing with what it means to become you line.’ Chef’s kiss.

It’s a little cheap that they brought Adele back and had her magically know about clones for the convenience of the plot BUT I like Adele so I don’t care. Another criminal with specific skills for the general Ocean’s 8 Style Heist Team lol. Poor Felix is so put upon. He’s the only real parent figure Kira has at the moment, he’s everyone’s care taker, and he doesn’t even get to enjoy his art opening because he’s being sent off to Switzerland by his mom to investigate criminal finances.

I love Scott and Hell Wizard as the research team. Not at all clear to me what Hell Wizard thinks he’s doing since afaik he doesn’t know about clones...but whatever. Maybe he does.

The Susan stuff was mostly confusing to me and what I primarily took from it, other than the outlines of the pre-Castor/Leda story, which basically made sense except for I don’t see how Duncan fits in, was the sense that some bigger explanation is just out of reach.

Loved the description of Rachel as a “corporate raised psychopath.” Yes, she’s irredeemable, she’s a clone villain, it’s great.

Sarah and Helena getting some sister time was nice, and I liked that the show pulled together Helena’s vaguely defined feelings about their bond, Kira’s sixth sense about the clones, and Sarah’s experiences on the island, because I’ll be honest, I never made that connection on my own. I’m glad Helena is in a safe place with a nice nun.

Heading into the middle of the season now, and it looks like the next ep will be more about the island, which I’m looking forward to.

[podcake]

Podcasts & Genre: Noir

When one thinks of the noir genre, the most common association is film noir, a style of film making sparking in popularity many, meany years ago but still carries some relevance today. Though no one really makes genuine noir films anymore, unless you count a few with noir inspired elements, noir mostly lives on strictly as short parodies while mystery stories stay as mystery stories without the usual aesthetic qualities you’d identify a noir film with. 

Noir brings up ideas of stylishly produced, sexual, and cynical stories sparking during the 1940′s that normally focus on a detective that one might describe as hardboiled, a femme fatale or two, and some type of mystery plot to tackle, often involving murder. 

One of the core reasons noir is mostly treated with a certain level of parody in modern work is due to how dramatic these productions could be. The whole vibe of theatrics that came from these productions could be perceived as laughable nowadays. Though much like Broadway musicals could be given a massive reboot through the success of Wicked and later the phenomena of Hamilton, the same could be said for noir that will occasionally slip its way into more modern interpretations while still maintaining an authentic narrative. 

While this is fairly evident in film, we all know that things with more than one picture attached to it isn’t really my specialty. You’re here to hear things and then read about the things you heard. How can sound effectively get an idea across when we only have our imaginations and common sense to tell things apart?

As a whole, this article will be delving into the complexity of translating genre through sound with noir being the main focal point due to its rarity and presence in a different medium of entertainment. 

This might just be a theory though I believe that noir managed to flow pretty well into the audio drama realm mostly because one of the most vital parts of these films is a consistent narration. This aspect alone is oddly enough the real driving force behind noir getting a second life.

And yet I do realize that noir is a kind of genre that is very selectively put to use. It’s relatively rare for a new noir show to pop up, only ever making common occurrences around early to late 2016. Rex Rivetter: Private Eye and Neon Nights: The Arcane Files both debuted the same year with only a few months difference between their publications. 

The same could be said for The Penumbra that came out in March. If this is merely a coincidence or not is on the table as all of the shows came from different producers and are essentially different products in their entirety.

These shows are not the only podcast noir shows in existence, though it’s hard to ignore just how few their are in comparison to the abundance of horror and sci-fi shows that come out every few months.

Among these, The Penumbra and it’s tales of private eye Juno Steel are the most openly successful. The Penumbra takes a creative approach to both the noir genre, with a helpful touch of sci fi, and the fantasy-adventure genre in their Second Citadel series. But if we are to focus on Juno Steel stories in particular, it’s not hard to see why it’s gotten such positive press.

Normally taking place over the course of two part episodes, Juno Steel delivers some strongly written individual mysteries that work their way up to being a whole story with recurring characters and an intriguing central plot. We get some colorful one shot villains, a likable though also dysfunctional lead, and a touch of romance that works to reveal the character’s personal insecurities. 

The Penumbra’s specialty is to remix and retell classic story genres with a touch of modern edge and originality that lets them stand as great individual stories and joins The Bright Sessions and Wolf 359 as some of the most well known modern fiction podcasts. 

A little while later came Neon Nights and Rex Rivetter that I combed through back to back to form a proper opinion on. Though they’ll most definitely be the topics of some future reviews, I do enjoy the air of the occult with Neon Nights which gives it a sort of Dresden Files vibe and Rex Rivetter that’s a touch more old fashioned through presentation which gives it a certain air of glamour that is sometimes delightfully camp. 

The newest contender for the noir genre is What’s The Frequency? which has already made quite the splash in this mostly independent art community with a strong first episode that left a lot to the imagination. Though I’ve always liked the level of absurdity that the noir genre can dig up while still maintaining an air of mystery, What’s The Frequency? is one of the most downright bizarre products to come out in recent memory that’s equal parts eerie and engaging. 

What’s The Frequency? truly commits to the style with its innovative use of static and the inclusion of voice work that invokes just the right vibe of psychedelic 1940′s it’s aiming for. It truly does feel old unlike the usual crisp and clean audio we get from the previously mentioned work. 

Something that has fascinated me is that when you take the film out of film noir you still get a genuine experience. Even without the gray scale, even without the crafty use of silhouettes and dramatic framework, noir has managed to ooze itself into the crevices of fictional podcasts from a purely audio based perspective.  

This I perceive as interesting as noir is noteworthy for its creative cinematography-Dutch angles, night-for-night shots, and silhouettes being the most common. Not to mention clothing like the iconic trench coat and hat approach, women with lipstick we could all assume was red, and people in formal dress for the sake of making every second look as classy as the last.

With podcasts, we only have so much time to get a visual across to listeners without loading them up with pointless filler, most of the run time consisting of dialogue meant to push the story forward to a conclusion. Though audio drama certainly isn’t limited to a purely linear story structure, it does have to pull through a bit more in certain aspects such as writing, sound editing, and acting to hold someone’s attention.

While film gives us more visual shorthand and generally does the settings and characters for us, audio drama leans heavily on getting its story out first and letting the listener fill in the blanks. In audio, visuals are an afterthought but imagery is still roughly where half of the writing effort goes into. It is much easier to look pretty than to sound pretty and this is why podcasts tend to be more ambitious since they can do more with less.

All of these individual shows have some sort of unique quality that gives it its rightful spot as separate stories, and yet you’d be hard pressed not to describe them as noir. Noir is so grounded in film that the idea of translating it to a purely audio based format almost seems to go against what noir is supposed to be, and yet we never run into these complications when we stumble upon them.

We can still identify a horror show without visual blood splatters and can still consider a sci-fi a sci-fi even if we never actually see the interior of a space ship we’re inside of. For example, Wolf 359 is very much science fiction with some strong comedy writing, though it’s also an entirely different beast than Hadron Gospel Hour that may be in the same boat but clearly going up a different stream. 

Audio Diary of a Superhero and The Bright Sessions both tackle ideas of disability outweighed by extraordinary power, and yet it’d be near impossible to get the two mixed up. Presentation and packaging can really make or break a show and how one plans to get these ideas across is the real definitive element at hand. 

While, let’s say for now, horror and science fiction don’t have any definitive visuals, only some recurring ones, noir is different in that it’s almost entirely built on a very specific list of cliches for it to be truly considered part of that group. You kind of need murder, you kind of need a detective, you kind of need a morally ambiguous seductress-so in that vain, noir can very much exist without the usual attributes as long as the audio can get these ideas across.

But let’s say, hypothetically, that these tropes aren’t being put to use. How exactly does one gain the right to consider their story a noir? Well from my understanding, these shows have leaned on a few common trends: a deep voiced protagonist with a definitive, world weary perspective, a jazz score, and taking place in a stylish but troubled city where all the conflict boils. 

It’s truly here that the idea of style and substance, narrative and aesthetic, play into one another for the better. 

Since this article is one part history lesson and another part describing things that are barley a year old, I do feel the need to dig up some facts. A detail many tend to forget is that audio drama was a vital form of entertainment years ago, it getting its start on nighttime radio broadcasts that were tuned into the same way we would watch prime time TV. 

Though this type of entertainment hasn’t entirely died, the radio part of radio drama has leaned more towards desktop computer drama or smartphone drama if we’re going to be taking about technology specifically. 

The thing is that podcasts got a hard reboot when Welcome to Night Vale reminded people how cool that was and everyone followed Joseph Fink and Jeffery Cranor’s breadcrumbs to make their own stories that were slightly less time consuming than writing a book and less expensive than making a movie. 

The strive for authenticity is strong in any artistic medium and podcasts are no exception. We may have our trends and sometimes repetitive structures and dynamics surfacing every few years, though the final product is what really gives anything its identity. What we consider truly authentic for anything or anyone can be boiled down to aesthetic value, narrative value, or something else entirely depending on your perspective. 

The same could be said for me as the whole purpose of Podcasts& is essentially to cover topics with a little more complexity than I’m normally able to. Reviews are restricted to whatever podcasts I managed to finish and pair up on slim similarities, Teatimes have the creators do most of the talking, and Palettes, one of the main support beams of the PodCake empire, are the equivalent of a “best of” reel-a first impressions, if you will. All the while I keep things interesting with flower emoticons and some cute girls over a pink backdrop. These are certainly accessories to my persona, though not the entirety of my work. 

With Podcasts&, we’re given just a little more time to look back and breathe in just what audio drama is capable of. If there’s anything about this medium that has fascinated me it’s the way it can transcend the typical confides of storytelling to still give a satisfying and unique experience. Many audio dramas exist in the same subgroups but I’m hard pressed to find any that are near identical to one another. 

Be it The Penumbra or Neon Nights-they may be fruit bared from the same garden, but their taste and textures are clearly being grown from different kinds of people. What makes each one interesting is that while noir is normally considered an exercise in creatively crafted footage, audio still manages to capture its identity and mood nonetheless. Noir audio dramas have to flex a little more muscle to really get their aesthetic qualities to matter since that is what defines their genre in the fist place.

Interesting how these articles tend to tie into one another. 

As I get to the conclusion of this editorial, I realize I have opened up a whole new can of worms when dealing with genre construction that is such a broad topic that I’ll need more than one text document to talk about it. Maybe some other day in some other month when all the Palettes and reviews are done and I can work up something proper worthy of being the first article of the new year. 

We can discuss comedy and horror and science fiction and surrealism. We can talk about all that has come of it and how there is no one way to tell a tale or represent a genre. 

So consider this little piece a...prelude for what is to come. Let’s talk about history, let’s talk about audio entertainment in its entirety, let’s bookmark Wikipedia articles, because the topic of genre is barely even at its peak when it comes to noir, though the fact that it exists at all says something about what just a few sounds are capable of.

[whispersandwhiskerburn]

Just Another Case: Part 1

Summary: Dean gets a voicemail that Sam is in trouble. When he rushes to try and help, he finds some trouble of his own with a Reader who might be too much for him to handle. Pairing: AU—Mechanic!Dean x FBI Agent!Reader Word Count: 4,050 Warnings: Some tense angsty moments but this part is SFW. Author’s Note: Buckle up, bitches. :D This is part one of my second SPN series, and my first ever AU fanfic—which I’m turning into a 15 part series with fluff, angst, and smut. Go big or go home, right? Included in this fic is a prompt for Lau’s AU Funny Quote Challenge to celebrate @dancingalone21​’s reaching 2k followers: “Then we all go out for ice cream and strippers” with Dean x Reader. This also celebrates my one year mark of writing fanfic on this blog (thanks for those who have encouraged me over the last 12 months)! *Tagging Note: Since this series is so different from most of what I write, I made a separate tag list from my forevers; if you would like to join this tag list send me an ASK and mention the JAC series instead of my Forevers list. Okay, that’s it. Enjoy and please leave feedback!

The Just Another Case Masterpost

Part 1: Dean POV

Dean?

It’s Sam. I’m, uh…I’m in trouble.

Dean stopped his routine of undressing and kicking off his work boots, his hand gripping the cell phone tighter as he listened to the voicemail.

I’m okay right now, but I’m worried about Jess. That case that made the news, the one we talked about last week? Well…things aren’t as simple as I thought.

Dean froze as Sam’s voice stopped. He held his breath, hoping that wasn’t the end of the message.

Look, I’m not going to sugar-coat this. Someone’s dirty. And they’re framing me. And it has something to do with this case with Crowley. I don’t know all the details yet, but from what I’ve seen he might be out soon, and he’s made enough threats against me that…well, I’m going to do some digging. I’m not letting this go.

I can’t let this go.

But I can’t let Jess be hurt because of me.

Dean turned, grabbing his keys and wallet from the table, already headed out the door before the message finished, his eyes on the lovingly restored 1967 Impala he’d inherited when his Dad had died in a collision with an 18-wheeler.

I need you to make sure she’s safe. And to get in contact with a friend, someone I trust. She’ll help. Y/N went to school with Jess and I a few years back. She’s a fed now. Her number is XXX-XXXX.

I’m dumping my phone, Dean. Be safe, and don’t do anything stupid. Don’t come looking for me—you might lead someone else my way. Just… look after Jess.

Love you, man.

Oh hell, no. Dean hadn’t been too close with Sam growing up—the kid had been nerdy and awkward, and the age difference was enough that they didn’t hang out all the time. But they’d both put in more effort to be closer in the past few years, after Sam had graduated from Stanford Law and Mom had died from cancer.

They were the only Winchesters left after all.

But as close as they were, they didn’t go in for mushy chick flick moments like that—it just wasn’t their style.

Dean hit the redial button but immediately got the tone that preceded the “We’re sorry. The phone number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service” message and hung up. He tried Jess’s cell, but it just rang and rang. It never even went to voicemail.

Dean threw the phone to the passenger side and peeled out of his driveway, leaving some tire marks behind. The distance between his place and the little bungalow Sam and Jess had moved into was a little over two hours of highway.

He’d make it there in one.

Dean was struggling to find “cool” and “calm” as he turned onto Sam’s road. It had been a little over an hour, and he’d listened to that damn voicemail twice since the first time. He still had no clue what was going on, and he was honestly afraid of what he would find, because the time stamp on the damn recording was four hours ago.

A lot could happen in four hours.

And he couldn’t get Jess or Sam on the damn phone.

He had yet to call the fed that Sam had told him to—he’d worry about that after he’d made sure his future sister-in-law was safe.

Please let her be safe. If anything happened to Jess… Sam would never recover.

He hard-braked his car on the curb, the driveway full with Jess’s yellow Jeep and a car Dean didn’t recognize. Sam’s Mustang was nowhere to be seen.

Dean felt like ice was in his veins. With slightly numb fingers, he opened the glovebox and pulled out his Colt M1911. He’d bought the thing and gotten a license to carry concealed after his car restoration garage had been broken into for the third time. He’d trained on it—his dad had been in the Marines, and Dean had been around guns his whole life—but he never thought he’d have to use it in this situation.

He approached the house with the gun held down by his side, the spare key Sam had given him in his hand. His heart was pounding so loud in his ears, he honestly couldn’t tell if anyone was inside. A light was on in the main room though, and when he paused beside the unfamiliar car, a dark blue Charger, the hood was slightly warm.

Whomever the stranger was, he or she hadn’t been here long.

Dean let out a deep breath, taking the last few steps up the steps and onto the porch at a slight jog. He used his free hand to unlock the door, his palm already sweating on the ivory handle of the gun.

He tucked the key back into his pocket, wiped his hand quickly before releasing the safety and gripping the pistol the way his father had taught him. The adrenaline was pumping, and he wanted to yell for Sam and Jess, but he tried to move softly through the carpeted hallway. If someone unwanted was here, one of the people who had been threatening his brother, Dean would do what it took to keep what was left of his family safe.

Whatever it took.

He headed for the living and kitchen area—they had an open set up in the center of the house, and that’s where the light was coming from. He heard a low voice coming from the room. Jess. She sounded worried.

Dean’s hand was shaking slightly, and he steadied it. There was no time for nerves. He was at the entrance, his eyes adjusting to the bright light. Jess was there.

She was alive. Standing at the kitchen table with her back to him. She was alone, her hand held up to ear, probably on the phone. Dean was too concerned with where the driver of the other vehicle was to listen to what she was saying. His eyes scanned the corners, worried someone was hiding there.

Then he felt a cold barrel against the back of his skull.

“Drop it, or I’ll drop you.”

Jess spun around at the sound of the woman’s voice behind him, the woman who was holding a gun to his head.

Her eyes widened as she took in the scene and Dean weighed his options. Dean slowly raised his hands, the gun aimed upwards.

The woman, and possible hit-man, prodded the hard metal into the base of his neck. “I said drop it, Ace. That means on the floor, not in the air.”

Dean shot Jess a look, trying to see if she was hurt; he didn’t want to get shot, especially not right in front of her, but giving up his gun seemed like the dumbest move at the moment.

Jess seemed shocked out of her silence at Dean’s look and took a step forward, “Dean? Dean! Y/N, no! Don’t shoot him. That’s Dean, Sam’s brother.”

Y/N? The fed Sam had asked him to call?

Dean lowered his gun slowly, willing to trust Jess’s identification and Sam’s message for the moment, even if that gun was still jabbing at the skin on his neck and the hairs were still standing at attention on his arms and nape. He safetied the weapon then dropped it the last three feet from the bottom of his arm to the ground.

He felt the gun at the back of his head move, and he breathed out a sigh of relief, throwing Jess a smile.

The relief vanished as he was twisted and spun from behind, pushed up against the wall while small hands patted his shoulders, his sides, feeling through the leather jacket he wore.

“Hey, sweetheart, watch the hands.” Dean pushed away from the wall and went to turn and face the cop behind him, but he felt a forearm against his spine, pushing him forward again while the other hand patted his waistband, searching for another weapon.

“Y/N, stop.” Jess was there now, right next to Dean and the as-yet unseen Y/N. The hand on Dean’s hip and the arm across his back were removed and Dean swiveled to see Sam’s spitfire of a fiancé holding the arm and shoulder of a woman with icy eyes.

Dean’s first impression of her, other than noticing her short stature in comparison to him (which, let’s face it, was true of most women) and the holster strapped to her hip with the black gun he presumed had just been aimed at him, was that this woman wasn’t one who would take crap from anyone.

“Y/N, this is Sam’s brother, Dean. We’ve talked to you about him before—hell the two of you are supposed to be best man and maiden of honor in a few months.”

Dean raised an eyebrow in question. He should have paid more attention to the wedding planning emails Jess had sent him.

Jess blushed, “this wasn’t exactly how I wanted you to meet.”

Dean smiled at Jess’s blushing face—he knew she hated that involuntary reaction. Mostly he was just relieved that his favorite soon-to-be sister-in-law was safe. She was still in her professional dress outfit—something the art museum she curated insisted on, though Dean knew she preferred baking in bare feet, a t-shirt, and jeans over briefcases, dress pants, and heels.

He tried to turn the smile towards the cop next to her, but the expression on her face was still not very friendly, and Dean held off extending a hand to shake. With the look she was giving him, she might chop the thing off. She crossed her arms over her navy FBI bulletproof vest, her matching pants going all the way down long legs and ending with a pair of combat boots.

“This is Dean Winchester, huh?” Dean straightened, giving her a slow flirty smile he figured would tick the Ice Queen off and nodded. “What were you doing breaking in here armed? Or, an even more important question, do you know where your brother is?”

Dean dropped the smile and looked to the floor to see his gun, stooped to grab it and tuck it in his waistband. “I didn’t break in, sweetheart. I have a key. And no, I don’t know where Sam is, but I know he’s in trouble—hence the gun.”

Jess paled a bit, and Dean eyed her warily. She wasn’t the type to faint, but he didn’t like her complexion right now.

“Don’t call me ‘sweetheart’. My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. Either of those, or Agent, will be fine since apparently I’m working right now—what do you know about Sam’s trouble?”

Dean ignored the cop, closing the distance between himself and Jess and taking her arm, leading her into the living room and pushing her gently onto the couch.

“Sit down before you fall over, Jess. I’m sure Sam’s fine.” Dean kept his voice comforting, and was alarmed when he saw tears starting to form in Jess’s eyes. Jess didn’t cry like this. Pissed off and yelling, he’d understand. What if she knew something? What if—

“I’m sorry, I’m just—ugh, I’m a mess. Damn hormones.” Jess looked around and Y/N was there, already handing her a tissue. She nodded her thanks and Dean felt his opinion of the woman improve slightly when he saw the unmistakable concern for her friend in her eyes. “It’s just that, this isn’t like Sam. We were supposed to meet in town to look at two possible wedding venues. But he didn’t show up—I thought he’d been caught up at work, but then he didn’t answer my text. When I tried again an hour later, I got ‘message undeliverable’ and I started getting worried…when I called, it said his phone had been disconnected.”

She sniffed and blew her nose, some of her color coming back as Dean moved back, letting Y/N sit closer to her. He was useless when it came to crying women.

“So I called his work, and they said he hadn’t been into work today—but I made them check, and his car was there in the lot, and—“ Her voice was steadily rising in pitch and Dean was getting more and more alarmed. Was she having a panic attack? What the hell was up with Jess? This wasn’t like her at all!

“That’s when you called me, sweetie. Which was the right thing to do. I don’t know what’s up with Sam, but you need to calm down. This stress isn’t good for you right now.” Y/N’s voice was completely different now—no hard edge, just soothing comfort and warmth. Dean shot a look between the two women, completely lost.

Dean shifted, his confusion and discomfort obvious enough that Jess managed a half smile as she sniffed at her tears.

“I’m sorry, Dean, you don’t know yet. I’m pregnant.”

Dean felt like his eyes were going to bug out of his head. “You are?! That’s—that’s fantastic, Jess! Congratulations!” He wanted to pull her into a big hug, but she was still crying, and Sam wasn’t here—wait— “does Sam know?”

“Yes, of course. We were just keeping it quiet till the rehearsal dinner. Sam…he thought it would be a nice surprise for everyone to find out then….” Jess looked down at the tissues in her clenched hand, or maybe at her waistline which was still the same as far as Dean could tell, then straightened her shoulders and gave a loud sniff before clearing her throat.

“I’m fine. But, Dean, how did you know something was wrong with Sam? You said you didn’t know where he was?”

Dean nodded, relieved to be on firm footing again. “Yeah, he called and left a message while I was at work—and when I couldn’t get him or you on the phone, I rushed over here.”

Dean took out his phone, scrolling through until he found the voicemail and setting the speaker and volume so that Jess and Y/N could hear.

Dean?… It’s Sam. I’m, uh…I’m in trouble.

Dean’s eyes were glued on the two women. Y/N had her eyes narrowed, leaning forward towards the phone in his fist, every inch of her tense and screaming “cop”. He had a fleeting thought that he liked the comforting friend better than the ice lady, but Jess’s in-drawn breath distracted him.

I’m okay right now, but I’m worried about Jess. That case that made the news, the one we talked about last week? Well…things aren’t as simple as I thought.

Dean only vaguely remembered the case. Something about a major drug operation and Sam had gone after the head guy, some dude named Crowley who was supposed to be this generation’s Al Capone or something. Honestly, Dean had been proud of his brother’s first big conviction, but hadn’t paid that much attention to the details.

Look, I’m not going to sugar-coat this. Someone’s dirty. And they’re framing me. And it has something to do with this case with Crowley. I don’t know all the details yet, but from what I’ve seen he might be out soon, and he’s made enough threats against me that…well, I’m going to do some digging. I’m not letting this go…. I can’t let this go.

God, he’d practically memorized the damn thing at this point. It made his gut clench to think of Sam out on his own, trying to dig out a dirty cop or lawyer—Dean didn’t know much about that kind of thing, but he knew his brother was smart and stubborn as hell. And that people who committed major crimes were willing to commit more to not get caught.

But I can’t let Jess be hurt because of me. I need you to make sure she’s safe. And to get in contact with a friend, someone I trust. She’ll help. Y/N went to school with Jess and I a few years back. She’s a fed now. Her number is XXX-XXXX.

Dean watched both women react as Sam said their names. Jess’s jaw jutted out, and if Sam had been present, Dean would have had to make the tough call of stepping between his brother and her to protect him, or to back out of the room slowly.

Y/N was harder to read. Her lips tightened before she drew the lower one inside her mouth to chew on, her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Dean watched that abused piece of flesh slide back out of her mouth and almost didn’t hear the end of the message.

I’m dumping my phone, Dean. Be safe, and don’t do anything stupid. Don’t come looking for me—you might lead someone else my way. Just… look after Jess.  Love you, man.

He quickly pressed the end button before the automated voice gave him the option to delete or listen again. The silence was heavy in the room as he looked warily at Jessica, worried she’d start crying again.

“I’m going to kill him.”

Or not.

Y/N was shaking her head slowly, “I might help you with that, Jess. I warned him…” Her voice drifted off.

Great. Now Dean was in a room with two homicidal women.

Y/N slapped her hands on her thighs suddenly, startling Jess. “Well, since Sam has decided to throw this shit into a fan to see what would happen, we need to get moving. Jess, Dean, I’m going to make a few calls, get some wheels rolling legally. I need you to pack anything you might need for a week or so—you two are going into protective custody.”

“The hell I am!” Jess was definitely back to her take-charge self now. Dean had always joked that, with her fire, she should dye her hair red to give the world a warning label. She jumped off the couch and towered over her friend while Dean took a step back. “I’m going with you to find Sam. There’s no way I’m going to go sit in some safe house while he’s sticking his idiot neck out.”

Then Y/N was up, arms crossed over those white FBI letters, “oh, yes, you are. You’ve got more than just you to think of now, remember?” She pointedly stared at Jess’s stomach.

Jess narrowed her eyes and copied Y/N’s stance. “That’s dirty pool, you know.”

Y/N just gave a smug smile. “You’ve already told me I’m going to be godmother, so I’m allowed. Now, go get packed.”

“Fine. But you have to bring him back so I can kill him before the wedding.” Jess poked her finger into her friend’s shoulder for emphasis during that last statement while Y/N tried not to smile.

Y/N nodded, apparently seeing some sense in that insane comment that was beyond Dean’s grasp.

Jess glared for a moment longer, then spun on her heel and stomped out of the room, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her like an angsty teen. Dean let out a breath of relief, glad that she had seen reason. Protective custody for Jess was exactly what needed to happen so Dean could fulfill Sam’s request and still sleep at night.

Because he couldn’t let his brother down by letting Jess get hurt, but there was no way he was going to sit around and let his little brother get himself killed either.

“Yeah, I need you to look into this quietly. Let me know what you find out.”

Y/N was talking in a low voice, pacing in the kitchen, while Dean leaned against the door frame, eyeing and appreciating her shape walking back and forth as he waited for her to get off the phone. He realized he was about to lock horns with her—and, strangely, despite his worry for his brother, he was kinda looking forward to it.

“Yes, I realize that….A safe house, what else? We can’t leave the two of them out in the cold, not if someone’s on the take and Crowley makes good on his threats….Sam? I have no clue.”

Y/N seemed to notice him for the first time, stopping her pacing and looking him in the eye. A few strands of her (Y/H/C) hair had escaped from that tight bun on the back of her head and were brushing the side of her neck. Dean fought the urge to pull the hair tie out and see what it looked like down around her face, but he resisted—she’d probably shoot him or kick his ass or something.

“Just get it done. I’ll wait here till Agent Tran gets here to move Sam’s family, but then I’m going to figure out what the hell is going on….Thanks.”

She disconnected and kept her eyes locked on Dean’s.

“I realize you can’t really pack a bag right now, but is there a reason you’re standing here staring at me?”

Dean thought of at least three pick-up lines that would be easy to throw out with that set up, but refrained from saying them. At this rate, he deserved an award for self-control.

“I thought you should know that I’m going with you.”

She raised her eyebrows and smiled a little, apparently amused. Dean smiled back, but his was cocky.

“No, actually, you’re not. The professionals will take care of this now, thanks.”

Dean didn’t let the smile falter and her’s slowly melted off of her face. “I’m serious, Mr. Winchester—“

“It’s Dean. And I’m serious too, sweetheart.” He deliberately put emphasis on the nickname and watched her eyes narrow. “I don’t have a bun in the oven to protect, so you don’t have that to hold over my head. I’m going to help you find my brother.”

She crossed her arms in front of her, a stance that Dean recognized as a challenge instead of defensive for this woman. “You have no experience in law enforcement, you know nothing about this case, and you know nothing about these people. How exactly are you going to be any help at all?”

“I know my brother. I can help you find him.”

“I won’t be looking for Sam.” That shook Dean. The smile dropped from his face and he took a step towards the cop in front of him. This was the woman his brother trusted for help, and she wasn’t even going to look for him?

“What?”

“You heard me. If Sam’s right about a leak and someone tampering with this case, then me finding him would fix nothing; he would still be in danger. I’m not going to be looking for Sam. I’m going to be looking for a way to help him. And the best way you can help with that is to not get yourself killed by sticking your nose in where you have no business being. I’m good at my job. And Sam is my friend. I’ll bring him home.”

Dean let that sink in for a second, reigning in his anger. “He may be your friend, but Sammy is my baby brother; he’s family—and I’m not going to sit around while he’s in trouble.”

Dean locked eyes with the cop in front of him who seemed to be listening to him for the first time, weighing his seriousness. He made sure there was no trace of a smile on his face as he concluded his argument—a trick he’d learned from watching his lawyer little brother.

“You say you’re good at your job? My job is to take care of him. And I’m fucking excellent at that.”

Y/N waited a measured beat, her face softening to resemble the caring woman who had comforted Jess on the couch earlier. “I understand that you’re worried, but I’m sure Sam will be fine. He was right to reach out to me; I’ll have this sorted out before long, get Sam home and—“

“Then we all go out for ice cream and strippers. Don’t patronize me, Agent. You know how stubborn Sam is? Who do you think he learned that from?” Dean leaned down, his face barely inches away from Y/N’s, her supportive look turning hard in the face of his defiance.

“This is very simple. Either I will work with you to help my brother, or I will go out and try to find and help him by myself. Your choice.”

JAC Part 2

Just Another Case Series Tag List:

@anokhi07, @aquabrie, @arryn-nyxx, @autopistaaningunaparte, @bennyyh, @blackcatstiel, @captainemwinchester, @casownsmyass, @chelsea-winchester, @clairese1980, @deandoesthingstome, @deanfuckingwinchesterrr, @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog, @demonangelimpala, @demondeansdomme, @donnaintx, @faith-in-dean, @fandommaniacx, @feelmyroarrrr, @immostlyconfused, @iwantthedean, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @jensen-gal, @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms, @jotink78, @littlegreenplasticsoldier, @millaraysuyai, @mirandaflamel, @mrsbatesmotel53, @mrsjohnsmith, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @muchamusedaboutnothing, @mysaintsasinner, @paintrider13-blog, @pinknerdpanda, @petrovadixon, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @puppalecki @quiddy-writes, @rizlow1, @roxy-davenport, @spnrvt, @squirrelchester, @theafinnerup, @waywardjoy, @wevegotworktodo, @windeango67, @quiddy-writes, @xfanqirlinq, @xtina2191, @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou

[lalka-laski]

Let’s start off with some basics. What’s your name? Elizabeth

How old are you? Way too old to be filling out Tumblr surveys but alas.

What’s your hair and eye color? Blonde hair, blue/green/gray eyed.

How tall are you? 5′7″ What’s your relationship status? In a beautiful, happy and HEALTHY relationship with my soulmate. Alright, enough of that. Let’s move on to the random shit.

What’s your favorite song? I could never choose just one but for the sake of the next few questions, let’s go with “Thursday’s Child” by David Bowie. What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? Simply put, it’s about being loved and accepted by someone who sees the light in you. It’s about coming to terms with your flaws and past mistakes to let yourself feel love. Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? It’s always been one of my favorites, even before I was in a positive relationship. I’ve always just loved its haunting but strangely hopeful sound. And I guess in many ways I’ve always felt like a “Thursday’s Child” myself. Have any pets? If so, what are they and what’s their names? Not presently Have you ever met your idol? I haven’t met any of them and I think in most cases I’d prefer not to What’s your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) I’m not into them If you’re in college, what’s your major and why did you pick it? I have a degree in English/Creative Writing and I don’t think I really need to bother explaining why, right? I like reading and writing. Pretty straightforward. How’re you doing today? Not bad! I’m really fatigued despite sleeping for about 13 hours last night, but otherwise I’m fine. Just having an ordinary but boring workday (hence the survey). What color are your bedroom walls? White Describe your favorite shirt. Lately it’s an off the shoulder cropped sweater that I’ve been wearing EVERYWHERE What’s your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? Ehh... they’re not for me. I’m not that into gadgets and such, so I’d have no use for one. But I don’t judge others for wearing them/wanting them. What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? I actually have no wall decor in my bedroom right now! And I’ve been living in this apartment for over 6 months, so I can’t use the “just moved in” excuse anymore. I have some really beautiful artwork to hang up, I just haven’t gotten around to it. How many times have you moved in your life? Twice as a child, then twice for college (two separate colleges) and then once as an “adult” If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? I absolutely ADORE my apartment right now. It’s cozy and homey but still has all the amenities of modern digs. It’s in a prime location that grants me all the benefits of city living (walking distance from my job, stores and bars, and a short car ride from anywhere else I frequent) but also all the advantages of suburbia (quiet, safe neighborhood). I really lucked out and I plan to live here for the next few years.

What’s your favorite color and why? Soft pink, because I aspire to be Elle Woods and/or a Disney Princess. Do you have a calendar? If so, what’s the theme? Nope. I tend to always buy them just because I love the look but then I never end up using them.

Have any famous person’s autographs? WELL I went to a Mat Kearney show and meet and greet at a local record shop and got his autograph & a photo. In all my excitement afterwards, I set the autograph down somewhere and lost it. (Typical me) I still have the photos though and that’s really all I care about. Do you draw well? I was actually decent at drawing as a kid/tween and I really enjoyed it. I’m sure I could’ve taken my interest further, but I was intimidated by the art scene at my high school. It was pretty cutthroat and the levels of talent were unreal, and I was just too afraid to even try. What type of cell phone do you have? Iphone 7 Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? I’m at work right now and to be honest, there’s hardly any actual work I need to do. So here I am... Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? I’m a cat person by default because of my extreme aversion to dogs. I don’t like their energy and hyperactivity! Cats are calm and cuddly which is much more my speed. Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. I could never choose a single favorite, but I’ll describe the plot of the last great book I read: a former film star and sex symbol relays her life story in vivid, salacious detail, to a “nobody” journalist. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Reading glasses, on which I’m growing more and more dependent... What do you think about horror movies? I liked them in my youth. But as I grow older and more anxious (and more worn down by life’s shittiness) I can’t handle them as much. If you love them (I do), what’s your favorite? I like the classics like Halloween. Lots of suspense with little gore. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I’m going on a family vacation a couple weeks before Christmas so we’ve all decided our money is best spent on that trip. We’ve agreed to do no gifts this year. Glenn and I are still going to exchange, however, since it’ll be our first Christmas morning together and I mean, we gotta open SOMETHING! Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? Neither appeals to me Have any mental illnesses? Wow, what a question! What’s your favorite word and why? In all seriousness, I hate this question because I can never think of a clever answer. I like lots of words!! Don’t put me on the spot like this!! What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? My Smart TV maybe? Did you buy that item yourself? No, it was a graduation gift. Where do you work and what is your position? I work at a fertility clinic and I do administrative work and some marketing. How often do you cuss? A lot more often than I realize What type of car do you drive, if any? I don’t Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? Tumblr obviously, Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat. And I have an Instagram but it’s a “finsta” so it’s not associated with my actual identity. What is your favorite genre of music? Most of what I like falls into rock/alternative/new wave categories Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? We do, although they seem to have gotten all out of sorts these past few years. But the advantage of that is now we can create new ones! If you’re in a relationship, are you happy with it? It’s bliss <3  How long have you been with your significant other? A little over a year officially, although we were “talking” for about a year prior. I know, so millenial.  Do you like psychology?  Oh for sure, the human mind is fascinating.  What is something your state is popularly known for? Everything associated with New York City, although that’s hours away from me. Other than that hmm... Wegmans?  Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? I do! I actually need to bring my art desk and craft supplies over to my apartment so I can craft more. I love scrapbooking, paper quilling, painting little trinkets and knick knacks... all kinds of projects! Do you watch sports or do you think they’re overrated? They don’t interest me much at all.  What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? Well while we’re on the topic of sports, professional athletes are disgustingly overpaid.  Do you straighten your hair? My hair is naturally pin straight but sometimes I’ll run a straightener through it depending on what style I’m going for.  Ever dyed your hair a color that isn’t natural? (blue, pink, etc) Never How’s your relationship with your parents? This is tough. My parents are good people and they certainly worked hard to provide for us financially and materially. And they did spend a lot of quality time with us. My dad was a lovable goofball and my mom was a nurturing, quintessential mama hen. That said, they weren’t perfect and a lot of their shortcomings have created long-term issues for me. I struggled with my mental health a lot as a pre-teen and teen, battled disordered eating and developed a drinking problem (among other things). My parents solution for all of this was to essentially place me on lock-down and send me to a therapist while offering no actual support of their own. They rarely, if ever, checked in to see how I was progressing or to help me get to the root of the problems. I missed out on a LOT of natural milestones that I should’ve experienced because of my perpetual lock-down, and I never combated my binge-drinking; I just learned how to better hide it. So I resent them for this and I often wonder where I’d be in life if I got the support I needed, when I needed it. So while I still love them and we do have a solid relationship (we talk daily), I’ll always feel a little sour about that. Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? I live on my own, which has been a great relief and in many ways, has made our relationship stronger.  What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? I’m just trying to live... lol  Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? I don’t do either. I own a CBD vape pen but I don’t really use it.  Ever done drugs? No hard drugs Tell me one of your worst habits. Binge eating and drinking, excessive worrying, obsessing...  What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know do? I love reading the profiles on writeaprisoner.com, then googling the inmates’ names to find out the crime(s) they committed.  If you game, what type of headset do you use? What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? An Acer chromebook. I like it because it has a touchscreen and movable keyboard so I can use it as a tablet or laptop.  What’s the thing that annoys you the most? Bigotry of all kinds.  What brand of TV do you have? Samsung Are you excited for Christmas?  I’m excited to spend my first Christmas Eve/Christmas morning with Glenn and start creating new traditions  Tell me about your favorite vacation you’ve taken. All my favorite moments are at my family’s cottage in Canada. 

Tell me something cool about yourself. There’s not much about myself that I’d consider “cool...” Haha  Did/do you get good grades in school/college? I had exceptional grades and test scores in elementary school and was considered “gifted.” These alleged gifts kind of dwindled in middle school as I let myself get too distracted by personal/emotional/social problems. I got decent grades in high school (all As in subjects I enjoyed, Bs in the subjects I struggled with), but excelled in college and graduated Summa Cum Laude. So that’s my roundabout way of saying yes I did, just not always. 

What’s your ringtone on your phone? It is 2019 my dude...  What’s your favorite store to shop in? For clothes I like Express, Buckle or most department stores. Although I’ve been doing more online shopping than anything lately.  If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? I’d pay off all my debts and then I’d book a trip around the world.  How long have you had a Bzoink account? What on God’s green earth is that...?

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what’s your favorite attraction? Again, what is that? Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nope  Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Carpet

It’s a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? Either out with friends or snuggled at home reading/watching a movie/drinking some wine.  Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I have a lot, but only a select few that I hang out with regularly.  What’s your all time favorite movie and why? Legally Blonde, because I love the message and of course, the aesthetic. 

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? One or two  What’s the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? I’m currently watching this ridiculous gift-wrapping competition and I’m laughing my head off at the absurdity of it all. (PS- for anyone reading this survey all the way through, I’m no longer at work. Yes, I’m taking this survey in two parts because I enjoy these questions so much! Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? Netflix & Hulu  What is your dream job and why? A writer/contributor to a magazine or website. I’d love the ability to write about topics that interest me for a living.  Do you think you would be a good therapist? No. I think I’m very empathetic, I’m a good listener and I give good advice (for the most part). But I’m a Type 4 which means I’m often too wrapped up in my own head. I wouldn’t have the emotional energy to be a therapist. 

What’s your favorite brand of clothing? Didn’t I already answer this? Did you like this survey? One of the best I’ve taken! Hence why I saved this draft to finish it hours after I started haha

[eichy815]

Dr. Huxtable Has Left The Building…

Originally Published on November 30, 2014 on Eichy Says

For decades, he’s lit up our television screens with his self-deprecating wit…and gotten millions of kids and adults alike addicted to Jell-O pudding pops.

But now, the jig is up for comedian Bill Cosby.  Or, at least, that appears to be the case.

What started as an impulsive and rather offhanded dig made by stand-up comedian Hannibal Buress last month has snowballed into an onslaught of rape allegations from more than twenty women…some of which date back to the 1960s.

Now, Cosby could face civil (or criminal) charges from any of the alleged rapes that took place in New York, since (unlike many other states) the Empire State has no statute of limitations.

His professional legacy took a hard hit in the last month.

NBC has canned a development deal to give Cosby a new half-hour sitcom (that likely would have aired in 2015, and possibly become the last great bulwark of his television legacy).  TV Land yanked syndicated episodes of his 1984-92 sitcom off its schedule entirely.  Netflix has postponed a planned comedy special for Cosby.  And the University of Massachusetts - Amherst asked him to step down as their honorary fundraising co-chairman.

Ordinarily, rape accusations against a highly-revered celebrity would be met with widespread skepticism.  But the sheer number of women coming forward – coupled with the vivid descriptions from the purported victims – indicates that Cosby might not be the innocent party here.

Over the course of 2005 and 2006, Cosby’s legal team helped him settle out-of-court with Andrea Constand, who alleged that the aging comedian drugged and assaulted her at his mansion near Philadelphia in 2004.  Reports have now surfaced that Cosby conspired with the National Enquirer to cover up Constand’s side of the story.

Former celebrity attorney Tamara Green recounted an experience similar to that endured by Constand – only it apparently took place in 1970.  Green had served as a corroboratory witness to Constand’s legal team.  Since Cosby and Constand eventually settled, Green wasn’t in any real position to pursue her own case against him.

Joining Green with her own in-court testimony last decade was ex-model Barbara Bowman, who’d claimed Cosby groped her and spiked her drinks on several occasions throughout the mid-1980s.  Model-turned-teacher Beth Ferrier recounted similar experiences to Bowman’s from during that decade.

Green, Bowman, and Ferrier all served as “Jane Does” during the Cosby/Constand civil trials.

Then, in the aftermath of this past month’s renewed media discussion over the allegations against Cosby, supermodel Janice Dickinson spoke up on November 18, 2014.  Dickinson claims that, in 1982 (while Cosby’s NBC sitcom would have been in development), Cosby slipped her a glass of red wine and a pill after she complained of menstrual cramps.  When Dickinson tried to include a memoir of this experience in her 2002 autobiography, she was dissuaded from doing so by Cosby and his lawyers, and seemingly acquiesced at the risk of being branded a “slut” or “whore.” 

A day later, former comedy writer Joan Tarshis came forward with painful memories of being date-raped by Cosby around the same time Dickinson claims to have been.  Tarshis says she hadn’t spoken out until now because she was “scared” and wanted to “get away from him."  But, in light of the allegations being revived in the past month, Tarshis stated how she believes that breaking her silence would be a way of showing support to any other women who similarly accuse Cosby of molesting them. 

Indeed, on Nov. 20, both Therese Serignese (another of the "Jane Does” in the Constand case) and Louisa Moritz made their voices heard.  Serignese alleges that she had a string of sexual encounters with Cosby beginning in 1976 – and even relied on him for financial support over the years.  Moritz, who appeared on the TV series Love, American Style as well as the films Up in Smoke and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, claims that Cosby sexually accosted her backstage at The Tonight Show in 1971. 

Model-actress Angela Leslie came forward one day later, recounting a 1990 incident in Cosby’s Las Vegas hotel room where he fondled her in a manner similar to those described by previous “Jane Does."  Former talent agency secretary Kristina Ruehli and Picture Pages actress Renita Chaney Hill described beverage-drugging incidents mirroring those that Leslie says she’d experienced. 

In spite of this cascade of allegations against him, no one is saying that Bill Cosby’s contributions should be discounted.  His controversial ”Pound Cake speech“ (made at the May 2004 NAACP Image Awards) – where he railed against ebonics, frivolous spending habits, and single parenthood within the black community – nonetheless got people talking about economic and social issues unique to people of color.

Cosby has also been a devoted steward to the Jazz Foundation of America, instrumental in the cultivation of the organization’s ”A Great Night in Harlem“ benefit concert – which will be entering its fifteenth consecutive year.

But, undoubtedly, Cosby’s greatest contribution to pop culture will be having made us laugh.  After finding marginal success with the 1965-68 spy drama I Spy and his 1969-71 sitcom The Bill Cosby Show, he catapulted NBC back into primetime prominence with The Cosby Show.

Premiering in the Fall of 1984, Cosby portrayed Dr. Cliff Huxtable, a quick-witted upper-middle class Brooklyn obstetrician.  Partnered with his assertive attorney wife, Clair (Phylicia Rashad), Dr. Huxtable guided his brood of five precocious children (along with their assorted friends and extended family members) through the comical travails of life.  Though some would argue that Clair actually "wore the pants” in the Huxtable family, Cliff delivered his lines with an iconic mixture of loving firmness and self-effacing playfulness. 

America loved the Huxtables…and rightfully so.  Their children – Sondra (Sabrina LeBeauf), Denise (Lisa Bonet), Theo (Malcolm-Jamal Warner), Vanessa (Tempestt Bledsoe), and Rudy (Keshia Knight Pulliam) – could be selfish, and, at times, messed up (like any teenagers will be)…but, overall, they possessed good morals and truly cared about each other (and their peers!) as a family. 

Following the end of The Cosby Show (and after his short-lived 1994-95 detective series, The Cosby Mysteries, also on NBC), CBS recruited Cosby to headline another new sitcom, the self-titled Cosby.  Running from 1996 to 2000, Cosby had its star portraying Hilton Lucas, a grouchy airline employee who must navigate the stress of post-retirement life.  Rashad reunited with him to play Hilton’s ever-patient wife, Ruthie; the show also costarred the late Madeline Kahn as Ruthie’s wacky best friend, Pauline.  While much less successful than The Cosby Show, CBS found itself “back on the map” with Cosby after a disappointing prior two seasons of low-rated veteran and freshman series.

In January 1998, CBS gave Cosby his own reality show, Kids Say the Darndest Things – inspired by a classic segment of the same name from Art Linkletter’s House Party throughout the 1950s and 1960s.

Despite all of his (presumed) behavioral sins, there should be no doubt that Cosby enjoys benign interactions with children…and he definitely cared about providing them and their families with “clean” television that would inspire creativity and thoughtfulness amid young minds.

In fact, former Cosby Show costar Raven-Symoné (she played Denise’s stepdaughter, Olivia) firmly denies tabloid-esque accusations that Cosby ever took advantage of her while on the set.  Raven-Symoné lambastes such rumblings as “a disgusting rumor”…as far as it pertains to her own experiences working with Cosby.

So, for a moment, let us pay tribute to some of my own treasured memories of Bill Cosby’s comedic antics.

We all remember Cosby’s iconic TV commercials as a spokesman for Jell-O. In the early-1990s, Cosby did an adorable promo (along with a team of child actors) to advertise “jigglers” (which were fun Jell-O molds made from pre-sold cookie cutters).  The cutest commercial from this promotional campaign featured Cos’ and several kids elegantly dressed up, having fun with their “jigglers” before dining on them at a formal dinner table – culminating with a little Asian girl mischievously grabbing one of the “jigglers” off a fancy platter, to which Cosby leans over and affectionately instructs her to “put that back.”

Cosby on Kids Say the Darndest Things, talking with a group of kids about love, aging, and parents.

Cosby chatting up future Stanford graduate Jeremy Fine on Kids Say.

From the pilot episode of The Cosby Show – Dr. Cliff Huxtable teaches only son Theo a lesson in economics:

Cosby Show early years – Dr. Huxtable tells youngest daughter Rudy an “urban legend” about the-little-girl-who-wouldn’t-eat-her-vegetables.

The Huxtables fake out Cliff on his birthday…later in the episode, they surprise him with a cabaret show performance by Lena Horne, who appears as herself.

Cliff plots to break up oldest daughter Sondra with her steady boyfriend, Elvin, by fixing up Sondra with a “more ideal” suitor.

Clair dispenses some “tough love” to future son-in-law Elvin, while Cliff watches.

The Huxtables teach daughter Vanessa a “fake-out” lesson after Vanessa parties with her friends and gets drunk for the first time.

Rebellious daughter Denise breaks the news to Cliff and Claire that she eloped…and is now married with a new husband and stepdaughter.

Dr. Huxtable receives an educational primer from his new “stepgranddaughter” (Olivia, played by Raven-Simone) about where babies actually come from.

In Cosby’s only interview thus far where addresses these rape allegations, he remains firm in his desire to refuse further discussion on the subject, dismissing them as “innuendos” that are not even worth entertaining.

A previous television interview (featuring Cosby and his wife, Camille), when the issue was brought up by NPR Weekend Edition host Scott Simon, Cosby actually asked Simon to keep the issue quiet by refraining from releasing the footage.  Camille Cosby sat next to her husband…with visibly uncomfortable body language.

I also find it suspect how Cosby hasn’t given any interview to address this snowballing controversy with any Big-Name Journalist out there (be it Barbara Walters, Matt Lauer, or Oprah Winfrey). Given the extent of bad PR that has developed for him, you’d think someone of Cosby’s stature would want to clarify the record and very loudly tell his side of the story…if he was innocent.

This entire reality is so personally saddening for me, because I’ve always enjoyed Cosby’s subtle brand of humor in scripted television.  In fact, I would always joke how my late maternal grandfather was “the white Bill Cosby” (due to my grandpa’s Cosby-like delivery of commentary, along with his eerie tendency to dress like Hilton Lucas).

While I understand that none of us should have a romanticized view of Cosby (or any other celebrity, for that matter), seeing his life torn apart in this manner really, really hurts.

I’ve known at least a couple of people who’ve encountered Cosby personally, while working behind-the-scenes to facilitate his occasional comedy shows at my old alma mater (the University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire). These accounts have suggested that Cosby, even when he’s interacting with someone whom he doesn’t find sexually desirable, can have a tendency to behave in a disrespectful, crude, and/or belittling manner. Of course, he’ll hide behind the cloak of simply “trying to be funny”…and those on the receiving end might be inclined to give “America’s Favorite Dad” the benefit of the doubt, in such moments of starstruck awe.

Even if Cosby is 100% innocent (which I seriously doubt) of all these allegations…he would have a responsibility to defend himself on behalf of all of his fans who’ve admired him for decades…not to mention all of the other actors and actresses whose own careers will be perpetually linked to his.

How long before Phylicia Rashad can’t go out anywhere because everyone in the media is pestering her about her thoughts on the scandal?  Or likewise for Lisa Bonet, since her professional relationship with Cosby was rumored to have been extremely tumultuous.

Is NBC going to pull the long-delayed upcoming edition of Celebrity Apprentice due to Keshia Knight Pulliam’s presence on it?

And, while I can understand NBC canceling Cosby’s development deal (and Netflix’s postponement of the comedy special), I do find TV Land pulling Cosby Show reruns entirely from its schedule to be a little bit too much.

If the ratings for those syndicated airings had already dropped significantly, then I could understand doing it.  But yanking The Cosby Show as a preemptive measure…that’s a gratuitous overreaction!  Let us have our fond memories of Dr. Huxtable and his affable brood, please.

My guess is that all of these women are going public because they want justice achieved.  So Cosby needs to ask himself:  “What would Cliff Huxtable do?”

If he is guilty of any of these crimes, Cosby needs to come clean and apologize to the victims.  He should ask for their forgiveness (as well as that of his fans, colleagues, and family), and offer to make restitution.  It wouldn’t even need to be multimillion dollar checks to anyone who’s made allegations…his “reparations” could be in the form of philanthropic resources for victims of rape and domestic violence.

And if he isn’t actually guilty, then he needs to do a Walters or Lauer or Winfrey interview.  Stat!

Cosby should also ask the media to be respectful of his former costars and his own family.  If media whores overstep their bounds by harassing anyone who has been remotely associated with Cosby, public opinion will shift toward forgiveness of him.

These actions (or lack thereof) would speak loudly to Cosby’s true character, and help to at least partially restore his now-tainted legacy.

[ricardosousalemos]

Massive Attack: Mezzanine

“Trip-hop” eventually became a ’90s punchline, a music-press shorthand for “overhyped hotel lounge music.” But today, the much-maligned subgenre almost feels secret precedent. Listen to any of the canonical Bristol-scene albums of the mid-late ’90s, when the genre was starting to chafe against its boundaries, and you’d think the claustrophobic, anxious 21st century started a few years ahead of schedule. Looked at from the right angle, trip-hop is part of an unbroken chain that runs from the abrasion of ’80s post-punk to the ruminative pop-R&B-dance fusion of the moment. 

The best of it has aged far more gracefully (and forcefully) than anything recorded in the waning days of the record industry’s pre-filesharing monomania has any right to. Tricky rebelled against being attached at the hip to a scene he was already looking to shed and decamped for Jamaica to record a more aggressive, bristling-energy mutation of his style in ’96; the name Pre-Millennium Tension is the only obvious thing that tells you it’s two decades old rather than two weeks. And Portishead’s ’97 self-titled saw the stress-fractured voice of Beth Gibbons envisioning romance as codependent, mutually assured destruction while Geoff Barrow sunk into his RZA-noir beats like The Conversation’s Gene Hackman ruminating over his surveillance tapes. This was raw-nerved music, too single-minded and intense to carry an obvious timestamp. 

But Massive Attack were the origin point of the trip-hop movement they and their peers were striving to escape the orbit of, and they nearly tore themselves to shreds in the process. Instead— or maybe as a result—they laid down their going-nova genre's definitive paranoia statement with Mezzanine. The band's third album (not counting the Mad Professor-remixed No Protection) completes the last in a sort of de facto Bristol trilogy, where Tricky’s youthful iconoclasm and Portishead’s deep-focus emotional intensity set the scene for Massive Attack’s sense of near-suffocating dread. The album corroded their tendencies to make big-wheel hymnals of interconnected lives where hope and despair trade precedent—on Mezzanine, it’s alienation all the way down. There’s no safety from harm here, nothing you’ve got to be thankful for, nobody to take the force of the blow: what Mezzanine provides instead is a succession of parties and relationships and panopticons where the walls won’t stop closing in.

The lyrics establish this atmosphere all on their own. Sex, in “Inertia Creeps,” is reduced to a meeting of “two undernourished egos, four rotating hips,” the focus of a failing relationship that's left its participants too numbed with their own routine dishonesty to break it off. The voice singing it—Massive Attack's cornerstone co-writer/producer Robert “3D” Del Naja—is raspy from exhaustion. “Dissolved Girl” reiterates this theme from the perspective of guest vocalist Sarah Jay Hawley (“Passion’s overrated anyway”). On “Risingson,” Grant “Daddy G” Marshall nails the boredom and anxiety of being stuck somewhere you can’t stand with someone you’re starting to feel the same way about (“Why you want to take me to this party and breathe/I’m dying to leave/Every time we grind you know we severed lines”).

But Mezzanine’s defining moments come from guest vocalists who were famous long before Massive Attack even released their first album. Horace Andy was already a legend in reggae circles, but his collaborations with Massive Attack gave him a wider crossover exposure, and all three of his appearances on Mezzanine are homages or nods to songs he'd charted with in his early-’70s come-up. “Angel” is a loose rewrite of his 1973 single “You Are My Angel,” but it’s a fakeout after the first verse—originally a vision of beauty (“Come from way above/To bring me love”), transformed into an Old Testament avenger: “On the dark side/Neutralize every man in sight.” The parenthetically titled, album-closing reprise of “(Exchange)” is a ghostly invocation of Andy’s “See A Man's Face” cleverly disguised as a comedown track. And then there’s “Man Next Door,” the John Holt standard that Andy had previously recorded as “Quiet Place”—on Mezzanine, it sounds less like an overheard argument from the next apartment over and more like a close-quarters reckoning with violence heard through thin walls ready to break. It’s Andy at his emotionally nuanced and evocative best.

The other outside vocalist was even more of a coup: Liz Fraser, the singer and songwriter of Cocteau Twins, lends her virtuoso soprano to three songs that feel like exorcisms of the personal strife accompanying her band’s breakup. Her voice serves as an ethereal counterpoint to speaker-rattling production around it. “Black Milk” contains the album’s most spiritually unnerving words (“Eat me/In the space/Within my heart/Love you for God/Love you for the Mother”), even as her lead and the elegiac beat make for some of its most beautiful sounds. She provides the wistful counterpoint to the night-shift alienation of “Group Four.” And then there's “Teardrop,” her finest moment on the album. Legend has it the song was briefly considered for Madonna; Andrew “Mushroom” Vowles sent the demo to her, but was overruled by Daddy G and 3D, who both wanted Fraser. Democracy thankfully worked this time around, as Fraser’s performance—recorded in part on the day she discovered that Jeff Buckley, who she’d had an estranged working relationship and friendship with, had drowned in Memphis’ Wolf River—was a heart-rending performance that gave Massive Attack their first (and so far only) UK Top 10 hit.

Originally set for a late ’97 release, Mezzanine got pushed back four months because Del Naja refused to stop reworking the tracks, tearing them apart and rebuilding them until they’re so polished they gleam. It sure sounds like the product of bloody-knuckled labor, all that empty-space reverb and melted-together multitrack vocals and oppressive low-end. (The first sound you hear on the album, that lead-jointed bassline on “Angel,” is to subwoofers what “Planet Earth” is to high-def television.) But it also groans with the burden of creative conflict, a working process that created rifts between Del Naja and Vowles, who left shortly after Mezzanine dropped following nearly 15 years of collaboration.

Mezzanine began the band’s relationship with producer Neil Davidge, who’d known Vowles dating back to the early ’90s and met the rest of the band after the completion of Protection. He picked a chaotic time to jump in, but Davidge and 3D forged a creative bond working through that pressure. Mezzanine was a document of unity, not fragmentation. Despite their rifts, they were a post-genre outfit, one that couldn’t separate dub from punk from hip-hop from R&B because the basslines all worked together and because classifications are for toe tags. All their acknowledged samples—including the joy-buzzer synths from Ultravox’s “Rockwrok” (“Inertia Creeps”), the opulent ache of Isaac Hayes’ celestial-soul take on “Our Day Will Come” (“Exchange”), Robert Smith’s nervous “tick tick tick” from the Cure’s “10:15 Saturday Night,” and the most concrete-crumbling throwdown of the Led Zep “Levee” break ever deployed (the latter two on “Man Next Door”)—were sourced from  1968 and 1978, well-traveled crate-digging territory. But what they build from that is its own beast.  

Their working method never got any faster. The four-year gap between Protection and Mezzanine became a five-year gap until 2003’s 100th Window, then another seven years between that record and 2010’s Heligoland, plus another seven years and counting with no full-lengths to show for it. Not that they've been slacking: we've gotten a multimedia film/music collaboration with Adam Curtis, the respectable but underrated Ritual Spirit EP, and Del Naja’s notoriously rumored side gig as Banksy. (Hey, 3D does have a background in graffiti art.) But the ordeal of both recording and touring Mezzanine took its own toll. A late ’98 interview with Del Naja saw him optimistic about its reputation-shedding style: “I always said it was for the greater good of the fucking project because if this album was a bit different from the last two, the next one would be even freer to be whatever it wants to be.” But fatigue and restlessness rarely make for a productive mixture, and that same spark of tension which carried Mezzanine over the threshold proved unsustainable, not just for Massive Attack’s creativity but their continued existence.

Still, it’s hard not to feel the album’s legacy resonating elsewhere—and not just in “Teardrop” becoming the cue for millions of TV viewers to brace themselves for Hugh Laurie’s cranky-genius-doctor schtick. Graft its tense feelings of nervy isolation and late-night melancholy onto two-step, and you’re partway to the blueprint for Plastician and Burial. You can hear flashes of that mournful romantic alienation in James Blake, the graceful, bass-riddled emotional abrasion in FKA twigs, the all-absorbing post-genre rock/soul ambitions in Young Fathers or Algiers. Mezzanine stands as an album built around echoes of the ’70s, wrestled through the immediacy of its creators' tumultuous late ’90s, and fearless enough that it still sounds like it belongs in whatever timeframe you're playing it.