#i have gotten BETTER

[rindemption]

Then vs Now

These aren't the first pictures I took of Nathan, I changed his appearance and deleted all of those. But these are one of his firsts after finally deciding I was happy with his look. No edits to the photo, no fancy tools. Just an npc swap using amm and that was it. Not even any kind of lighting (if that isn't obvious).

Nathan's gotten some minor cosmetic changes since, but nothing as drastic as his first. And I finally started using tools and editing my photos before posting!

But outside of the visual stuff, Nathan's changed in a lot of other ways since he first came into existence.

He's always existed in some form over the last several years of my life. He's had a few different names, and a few different backstories based on what game I was playing. But the core of him has always been there. When I first made him for cyberpunk, he was supposed to be a much more tragic character. Nothing went right for him up until the end of the game, and by then it was too late to get more than a bittersweet enjoyment out of his one victory in life.

But through him, through the cyberpunk fandom, I met some of the most wonderful people. I got to meet the love of my life, and he got to meet his. And he changed because of that, opened up and told me about himself, and bloomed into who he is today. I'm still learning about him, still figuring out where his life leads, now that he has a life to live and look forward to. He's changed so much in just a couple of years, and I know he still has so much growing to do. His life isn't tragic anymore, even if the start of his life is still sad. He's happier, and more energetic, and doesn't feel the need to form himself to other people's expectations. And I'm excited to learn what more he has to tell me about himself.

I still feel like I have a lot to learn when it comes to VP; how to use the tools to their full potential, how to make lighting look good, how to set up a background, how to edit it to get the colors and visuals just right. But I've already made more progress than I expected. Someday I'll be able to capture the visions I have in my head. So thank you everyone who's shown me support and encouragement, hopefully I can keep growing and learning.

[neednothavehappenedtobetrue]

travis I love your worldbuilding and your energy but you simply have got to arrange your life so that your NPCs are not constantly talking to each other. it’s just, you gotta. I want to love this tale you’ve got here for me, but, like, engage with the players a little?

[soulampsuper]

Passion ❤️

[im-tempted]

You ever have a moment with someone where you go

'oh we're friends and you know the things I like and want me to be happy... I have to block you now'

An irl just did that

And I can never speak to him again oh my god he figured out a thing I enjoy and has been intentionally creating situations so I can do it more often

I need him to be killed ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

[jq37]

You gotta hand it to Fig. All of the Bad Kids were given foils this season and they got to decide how much they wanted to engage with that part of the plot. Gorgug only interacted with Mary Ann in passing despite them both being on the Owlbears. Fabian noped out of chatting up Ivy once she crossed a line with Mazey. Riz was so busy that he truly had no time to engage with Kipperlilly even though she's obsessed with him. Kristen interacted a bit with Buddy but spent way more time verbally sparring with Kipperlilly. And Adaine was somewhat interested in Oisin but never overtly acted on it.

But Fig?

She's in Ruben's WALLS. She's in his DREAMS. She's faking her alter emo's death. She's got the Fantasy FBI after her. She's SO SO tiny. No one is doing it like Fig's doing it.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[hinamie]

domain expansion

[manzanamarim]

Guess what I finally got to play! I had a blast I wish lawyers were real

[yhwcomeback]

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road! bonus:

[nebuladreamz]

IT'S FINALLY FUCKING OUT AND I CAN FINALLY POST THIS!!!! (Go watch it NOW)

Thank you so much to @ohno-the-sun for hosting the map, this was the most fun first experience I've had with being a part of one :D

[hongjoongpresent]

Friendly reminder that all aros and aces are part of the queer community, and you're welcome here. Aphobes are hit with my laser beam.

[turtleplushi]

I haven't seen anybody post the full Riddle Chain yet (including Silas Birchtree) so here you go :)

I didn't find any of these codes myself by the way! I'm not sure who to credit for the rest of them, but I did get the Silas Birchtree code from @dismissivedestroyer (sorry for tagging you ^_^" if you don't want to be tagged let me know and i can edit the post). You can also get the answer using the code "STOD EHT TCENNOC"

(SPOILERS BELOW)

RIDDLE (would you like to play a game) > YES (what's Mcgucket's favorite soda?) > MOUNTAIN DONT (what's a medieval homonym?) > LYRE LIAR (the 20th ingredient of Anti-Cipherzing Tonic?) > HAROLDS RAMBLINGS (how is clown repellant made?) > UNION MADE (Bill's govt file number?) > 29121239168518 (who comes from Zimtrez 5?) > GREBLEY HEMBERDRECK (what's on Bill's flag?) > 3466554 (what leaves a thin line in the snow?) > TINSEL SNAKE (the 6th option on Bill's editing software?) > TORTURE MENTALLY (name an unpronouncable wizard) > XGQRTHX (where do Tri Angels come from?) > 333SUNDAPPLELANECOZYCREEKIL6071494611 (Bill Cipher's Lawyer?) > CAESARATBASHVIGNERE [or] MULTI LEVEL MARK (who defeated Silas Birchtree--?) > EMMALINE BUTTERNUBBINS (you've earned a treat! enter 'DISPENSE MY TREAT' to download) > DISPENSE MY TREAT

The 'treat' you get is under the cut

"BILL FILES DO NOT OPEN"

babydonthurtme.png

billcithescienceguy.png

chernobogwithablog.png

cheshire.png

epacsdnim.png

hiya.png

irrational treasure 2 - the trembley supremacy.png

octobillfest.jpg

remember the bermuda triangle.png

scrapdoodle.png

seeyouinmydreams.png

seeyounextsummer.png

snakeyes.png

trustme.png

xwhyz.png

[gomzdrawfr]

content warning: angst, MCD

this is a redraw of this doodle

extra note:

zoom

anyways this started because someone retweeted the doodle on twitter, I looked at it and went hm I wonder how the current me would draw this, so I did just that

[owleics-fr]

Amongst the monstera

(Redraw of this piece from 2022)

[canisalbus]

Can we hear more about the gay dogs, or ideally see more of them? They live rent-free in my brain.

Have a little sketch then!