#i have finally gifed SIX

[yeyinde]

Joe "The Bear" Graves | SIX ↳ my favourite Joe moments from Series One, Episode One

[glassprism]

Hello Glass, I have a quick question. What is the protocol for using youtube videos for gif making? I want to make some but I don't want to use someone's video and then get in, not "trouble" really, but have someone get upset with me. Should I ask before using a video? Thanks for the help!

I assume this is about bootlegs uploaded to YouTube? Since I figure most other kinds of YouTube videos are free to gif, and that their uploaders wouldn’t care much about that sort of thing. (In some cases, they might encourage it - more publicity for them!)

For bootlegs, it’s fairly difficult to say. Many bootleg filmers, while they didn’t want their stuff shared publicly, never restricted people from making gifs of it, but that’s because many of the filmers were, well, older and didn’t know gifs existed at all. Some newer filmers have begun requesting that people don’t gif their videos at all, while a few others only ask that people refrain from gifing until the NFT date is passed. And most would definitely like you to not send them directly to the actors who are in the boots (yes, that’s happened).

So only thing I can say is do your research and use your common sense. My instinct is to be cautious about some of the newer shows, like Six or Hadestown or whatever, but that older, established shows, like Phantom or Les Mis, are more lax. Finally, keep in mind that many people uploading full videos of bootlegs to YouTube, especially for newer shows, are not the filmer and are often angering the filmer when they do it, so asking the uploader for permission does not necessarily mean you’re asking the filmer for permission. So yeah, really just have to research trading sites and such.

[katherine-mcnamara-archive]

I made the mistake of starting to rewatch Shadowhunters again & now I’m crying over Clary. She deserved so much more, I know I was only fourteen when I read the final book & I can barely remember what happened last week let alone a book I read six years ago, but I can’t remember that ever happening to her & I just love her so much. Thank you for your quality gifsets of her she is so beautiful 😭

That never happened to her in the books! Her and Jace became heads of the institute. It was Simon who lost his memories over the whole mark of cain thing as a price to remove it. Clary also went on to get various more runes from the angels which makes that whole fucking arc a croc of bullshit. but what can we expect from showrunners who liked anti clary and clace tweets the first day they were announced as taking over but the fandom never gave a shit about thaaaaaaaat. and are only now starting to see how awful these white demons were because they insulted their precious m/ec in a book like lmao. I have no sympathy whatsoever for people who praised these assholes when they were laughing and making jokes about shipping lilith and jace and saying it was a better ship than clace. Like y’all really let them get away with making rape jokes and shipping jace with his abuser and saying an abusive ship was better. and you’re surprised they’re now being trash bout your darlings because they made their money from y’all like...... no sympathy at all.

I only really acknowledge s1 these days because it literally hurts to breathe sometimes and gives me a panic attack just hearing the shows name.  

BUT AGREED!!!! and you’re welcome!!! I love gifing my bby girl who deserved the most and the show nor the fandom deserved her.

[pierregasly]

You okay? You haven’t been very active last days

Awe, thanks for asking. It’s kinda a bit long but here it goes.

Pretty much in April my ex broke up with me over the phone during quarantine literally just throwing away the whole future we had planned because he’s chosen without mentioning it to be at all to go to a different country for Uni and he wanted to have “a fun summer” without depression of having us both saying goodbye. We’d been dating for fifteen months, talking for sixteen and it was a really really passionate relationship with a lot of high emotion from both parties. However, a lot of high emotion leads to volatility which is why the last six months of our relationship was really toxic and brought my mental health down to a point where I had so much anxiety I went down from 46 to 41 kilos just purely because of not eating due to stress.

Moving on, our relationship became sorta toxic because of my ex. He has a huge ego, is very competitive and we’re both really into debating. He started to make everything a competition between us and he would go off on the smallest things. Like he would call be every hour or thirty minutes when I was hanging out with friends or I wanted him to smoke hookah a little less and he broke our agreement but when I tried weed one time he went literally ballistic. No, it wasn’t an abusive relationship. The atmosphere was just... really toxic. We both were on the debate team and I kept winning while he kept losing and he always sorta resented me for that, like he felt so threatened that I was doing better than him in school... or debate... or in my personal life.

So yeah, us breaking up was a good thing but it doesn’t stop there. We really really loved each other. And love doesn’t conquer all, you know? Anyways, he broke up with me in early April and didn’t contact me for two whole months. We went from talking everyday to talking zero times in two months. However, the next time we did meet he proposed a meeting under the guise of he needed to get his stuff. So he shows up at my house, gets his stuff and then stays for three hours pleading and saying like he made a mistake, a rash mistake and I kinda told him... no. And honestly it was the hardest thing I ever had to do because we still loved each other so much but he hadn’t changed at all. So, that following week, we had a house party for graduating seniors. The entire night, he made out with one of my friends in front of me because he wanted to make sure I had a really shitty night. And yeah... it wasn’t nice. But I had a lot of guys trying to get with me and, we’ll, his best friend of ten years was one of them. His best friend made a move and I owed nothing to my ex so I went with it, we’re friends after all.

He isn’t really close with his best friend anymore because he’s really jealous and hurt his best friend did that. Which I understand but at the end of the day... all his friends were pissed at him at this party because he kept getting jealous whenever I was with a guy and just staying in my own lane even tho HE broke up with me and shit over the phone... The following week at another party that he wasn’t invited to, he removed me from our last media of contact we still had each other on and I didn’t hear from him for another month and a half.

Flash to my birthday. August 3. It’s 1 am and he called me out of the blue wishing me a happy birthday. I really wasn’t... thrilled. At this point I was finally okay. I had moved on mentally (of course your heart still stays with the people you once loved), I had a great friend group around me, I finally was able to start gifing and writing again because I felt really... happy. Really good about myself. Like the best I’ve felt about myself in like a decade. I even got my weight up to 45 kilos after going on a diet to gain weight! And my ex’s entire phone call I was speaking so strong but my fucking body was shaking so hard. I know it sounds stupid but I was so fucking scared because I had finally rebuilt myself and I knew this person would have the power to bring me right back down.

On my birthday, we saw each other. We hung out at his house, I spent the night. He looked so fucking miserable. He had so much guilt and regret over what he did to me in his eyes but it seemed like he spent the entire day just trying to make it up to me. It broke my fucking heart because he kept asking me to be more affectionate and I told him no, he’s not my boyfriend and after all he did, he doesn’t deserve it. He would kinda try to... play the field. As in he would say things like “I love you” and then see my reaction and then base his next action off of that reaction. He said “I love you”, I made a face, and he played it off like a joke. He was trying to take the upper hand as usual but I didn’t let him. When I left he told me if I ever wanted to hang out, we could.

I didn’t take that too seriously but my dad left for a few days last week so my brother invited a friend and I invited my ex just to drink and have a good time. At the end of the day, my ex said we’re friends even tho he’s the one who cut me off. My ex’s problem is that he really wants desperately he get back together, to be together again because he still loves me but I don’t want that to happen. Maybe in the future when he’s a changed and better person but for now like... no. Even tho it really hurts. Anyways we had a perfect night. I basically left loose and told him all that he did wrong... that what he did really hurt me... that he’s selfish, unkind and takes people for granted. I told him I pitied him because he sees the world so negatively when there is so much beauty around him. He didn’t try and argue... he just got really sad and told me he understood. He also told me he loved me and didn’t take it back. His eyes looked so fucking crushed because he knew how badly he fucked up. He was throwing compliments about my to my brother, he couldn’t keep his hands off me and when he held me, his fist would clench in my shirt like he was desperately trying to keep hold of me.

We’re essentially just two people who understand that he has to go through a lot of change before we can ever be right for each other again. We love each other so much but even he admitted... he’s just not right for me and he’s not good. He wants to change but he just doesn’t know how, how he’s acted is really all that he knows. Anyways... he spent the night and I kinda knew it was going to be the last time we see each other for months, maybe years, maybe a decade. And he just layed in bed like he really really didn’t want to have to go even though he knew he was going to have to. That’s it. We left on good terms. He’s still in love with me.

To answer your question, for the first time in a long time and I’m just going to be honest. I’m not okay. I’m really not okay. He’s right, he’s not good for me. But it really sucks that his selfish actions and his decisions just did that... to us. I will always love him but I’m not in love with him anymore. We click so well, and we’ve both never found another person whether family, friend or more intimate that we’ve each clicked for. Who knows... maybe one days I’ll meet a better version of him and I’ll take him back when I see he’s more mature and changed. But for now... I was okay until this month when he just decided to slip back into my life. And it doesn’t feel fair. It doesn’t feel fucking fair that I rebuilt myself and I was doing the best I ever had just for him to come back into my life and remind me of his presence.

It’s not like I had forgotten about things like how his hair feels, his accent, his scent or his mannerisms... I hadn’t. Him being around just reminded me of them. And I was doing so well. I had truly moved on mentally in life and was doing the best I ever had. I cry maybe once a year... and now I’m crying literally five times a day because I miss him so much and it hurts having to realize that we’re both strangers who are going to live completely separate lives. It hurts so bad I can’t even explain it really and the writer in me just doesn’t idk.

I’m really sorry for his rant. I have a lot on my chest. I really really am not doing okay. I basically went back two months recovery, back to a point where I can barely get myself to do anything and I just feel really hurt. Its not the worst thing that ever happened to me... but I lost my best friend and a boyfriend, a person I loved so fucking dearly and had all those passionate cliche movie first loved with. It’s the worst thing too knowing that we both still love each other so much but we know it’s not right. It’s not right for us. I can’t be there to help him along the way and he needs to find himself and his own path in life. Love doesn’t conquer all but I think that’s okay. You know? I have to delete a good quali lap for a chance at a great one. I was really looking forward to going to college, starting over and getting out of this city full of memories... but I can’t because my Uni is online first semester so I’m still here. Again... sorry for the rant.

[pumpkinpaix]

8 PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

tagged by @stebeee <3 <3 <3

ONE / name / alias. cyan

TWO / birthday. late november :D

THREE / zodiac. sagittarius | dog

FOUR / height. 4′11″ bc i’m a hobbit apparently

FIVE / hobbies. oh boy. uhhhh i have a lot of them!! my go to answer since like elementary school has always just been reading and writing and drawing, but i guess i can throw gifing and editing onto the pile, but there’s. a lot more. figure skating is a fun one i guess!

SIX / favorite colors. i spent a lot of time thinking about this in the past, and i came to the conclusion that i just!! love the color of sunlight!! like sunlight on everything! sunlight on grass! sunlight through leaves!! sunlight that’s that bright rich coppery orange on the trunks of trees!!!! sunlight that’s made of gold!!

SEVEN / favorite books. Howl’s Moving Castle, Les Misérables, The Magicians trilogy, and I guess?? i can toss MDZS on there too.

EIGHT / last song I listened to. uhhhh i think 望穿 but the version where chen li sang with wu qingfeng

NINE / last film watched. i hate this but i think it might actually have been avengers endgame bc i don’t watch a lot of movies. thanks russos for putting that final nail in the coffin of me tentatively trusting hollywood literally ever with anything

TEN / inspiration for muse. I am always pilfering details from my life experience for creative purposes lmao. i hoard all sorts of weird details that i notice so i can write about them later bc i’m. like that.

ELEVEN / dream job. back in ye olden days of 2012 when i was big sherlock fan, I used to say consulting coworker, like.... the person you’d go to to consult for ANY job because i have so many interests. I didn’t have to be the best at anything, but i wanted to be decent at everything, and tbh.... that actually still stands. I just want to do and be everything!! i want to be a professor! i want to be an archivist, a librarian, a conservationist. i want to be a writer! I want to be an artist! i want to be an actor and a singer! i want to work in publishing, i want to be a translator, I want to be a film editor, i want to learn how to produce music, i want to learn how to code! i want to work for ao3! i want to be a bookbinder!! i want to make fucking youtube videos!!! the list goes fucking ON. it’s........ actually kind of a problem, because hey? to be a prof i want that phd. to be a librarian i need that mls. book arts and writing are two mfas i’d be interested in also getting. that’s. many years of schooling for only like 3 of those things, but GOD i want to do it all. there isn’t TIME.

TWELVE / meaning behind url. i was cyan-013 for like 6 years and it was a convoluted free-association between my initials (cyn), cmyk printing, the prefix cyano- and how much i like the number 13. i changed to pumpkinpaix finally bc i got sick of the fact that it’s impossible to tag urls with dashes in them. one of my irl nicknames is pai and a lady who ran afterschool during kindergarten used to call me pumpkin pie, so i smashed them together. except pumpkinpai was taken, so i just added an x lmao.

idk about 8 people, but uhhh, @sarah-yyy, @ligninandink, @pilferingapples, @bodhimcbodeface, @ribbonreverse, @sauntering-down, @kingedmundsroyalmurder @weisbrot if y’all feel like it <3

[vinylackles]

lyndsey’s first ever gif tutorial!!!

hello world, it’s me, lynds! by request, I’m gonna walk you through how I make my gifs! I’m going to just show a basic gif tutorial (like the one below). This tutorial will walk through the steps of getting the footage, creating the gif, editing it with some minimal coloring, and then exporting! :) let me know if you have any questions, I hope you enjoy!

I use the following programs:

Photoshop CS6 (mac download tutorial) 

QuickTime Player

let’s get started!!!

step one: find what you want to gif

For me, my first stop is almost always netflix. I make supernatural gifs, and I am lucky enough to have 13 seasons right at my fingertips. But Lyndsey, how do you get netflix video onto your laptop?! Well, that’s where QuickTime Player comes into play. For purposes of this tutorial, I’m going to gif a nice little family hug from episode 12x22. So first step, find the part you want to gif and pause the video about 10 seconds before you would want your gif to start, and make it full screen . Like so:

It’s important to start the recording before the actual first gif frame because you want all the extra things to go away (the play button, the rating that pops up in the right corner, etc) before you get to the actual moment you want to gif.

step two: begin recording

Open up QuickTime Player. On mac, it should pop up in your toolbar. A quick trick I use is to do a spotlight search (Command + Spacebar) and search for Quicktime Player. This will begin to run the program. Two finger click on the icon, and a small menu will pop up. It should look like this

Select New Screen Recording. A box should pop up on your screen that looks like this:

Click the red record button. Another box will appear that looks like this:

Click anywhere on your screen and boom! Your laptop is recording your entire screen! Now you can swipe over to your browser tab and it will continue recording your show as you watch! Make sure you move your mouse so all those annoying menus and things go away and it’s just the show on your screen.

Once you have finished recording the whole part you want to gif (make sure it’s short!!), swipe back over and open the menu again. It will have changed slightly to look like this:

Click on Stop Screen Recording. A box will appear where you can play the video you just recorded. Now, click the red x to exit the window that just appeared (trust me on this one) and it will bring up a new box like so:

Title your clip whatever you like and save it wherever! Now you have your clip! Hoorah for you, you’re doing great!!!

step three: getting it into photoshop

Now we’re ready to make our actual gif! Yay! Open up photoshop and then click on File -> Import -> Video Frames to Layers like so:

A new window will pop up where you can browse through your files. Go find the video clip you just recorded and select it. Now, your screen should look like this:

I always select the “Limit to Every 2 Frames” option to fit more content into my gif. I also toggle until I find only the part I want to gif (since we had to record a little extra to get to rid of the menu bars and such. Do this by dragging the small, dark pieces below the gray line until the image you’re looking for pops up on the little mini screen. Make sure to do both sides! Then, press okay!

step four: finding duplicate frames

No technology is perfect, but photoshop is far from it. Often, there are duplicate frames in gifs, which makes them look choppy and sad :( So, after completing step three your screen should look like this:

All the little boxes at the bottom are frames, while the list on the side are the layers. We’ll worry about the layers later. For now, click through each individual frame one by one, and if you find a duplicate, delete it (click the little trashcan below all the frames)! 

tip: I’m not sure if this is universal, but in my program, every fifth frame is a duplicate. idk why. but, I can go through and delete frames until one of the duplicates are on a multiple of 5 (i.e, frame 15 and 16 are the same) and then I select all the ‘5′ frames (Hit command and click frame 15, then frame 20, then frame 25 and so on and so forth). It minimizes the constant clicking. But, this might be confusing to some, so if it doesn’t make sense, just click through and delete the duplicates!

step five: cropping

Now that all those pesky frames are gone, it’s time to crop! Select the crop tool from the side toolbar (it’s selected in the next frame) and drag until you’re satisfied with what you have! 

tip: for individual gifs, it doesn’t matter too much, but if you’re doing gifsets, they need to all be the same size. I recommend using one of the preset ratios, which you can find if you click on “unconstrained” in the top left hand corner 

Now, it looks like this! Double click and it will crop the image to the selected size!

step six: coloring

Now comes the fun part! Coloring/Adjustments! For me, I usually up the brightness, lower the contrast and lower the saturation. I will post the settings I used below:

Make sure these layers are above all your other ones (you can drag them up to change the order). This is totally up to you! Click the buttons and mess around, see what they all do! You can always delete the layer you created and your gif will go back to normal :) 

step seven: frames per second

The final step before export for me is to change the frames per second. By default, mine go to .02 seconds, which is much too fast. The frame rate is shown at the bottom of the frames. I usually set my gifs to .07 seconds. The easiest way to that is to select all frames, by clicking on the small menu on your timeline (the little three lines with the arrow in the top right corner)

And then select “select all frames” from the menu. This will highlight all your frames! Next, click on one of the arrows (next to the timestamp) on any of your frames. A window will appear like so:

Click on “other...” and type in “.07″

Now we’re ready for export! Woo hoo!!

step eight: export

This is the most tedious, and my least favorite part of gifing. Sigh. Anyways, first you will go back to file and open the menu, then select “Save for Web”

The next page it will bring you to is very important:

The most important part of this window is the GIF size, shown here:

Tumblr has a gif size of 3M, so obviously this gif is way too big. Never fear! It’s time to change the image size. If you just change the width, it will keep your gif in proportion and minimize the size. I changed my width to 475px, and now we are at 2.763M, which means we’re good to go for tumblr!

Now, it’s time to save! it will automatically save as a .gif file, and you’re golden! time to upload your beautiful creation to tumblr!

I hope you found this helpful, please like it or reblog it if it helped, mainly so I don’t feel like I did all this for nothing haha. Happy gifing everyone!!! -lynds

[roseangelx]

Semi-Coherent Thoughts on The Lying Detective

I will start by saying that the most recent episode of Sherlock is one of my favourites - definitely in my Top 5, possibly even in my Top 3. I’ll also point out that I realised it had become one of my favourites about an hour into it, before everything that happened in the end happened. I liked The Six Thatchers, I think I mentioned, but this one was a huge step up and I was gripped from the start. 

Like last week, this is less of a review and more of a list of thoughts on the episode that are not particularly well-structured or coherent. It’s also stupidly long, but I have dot point summaries, so don’t worry!

Grief

I read a quote from an interview last week where one of the writers mentioned that they wanted to do grief properly in this episode, and I definitely think they succeeded. We didn’t really see John grieving after Sherlock’s death - more of it was focussed on the anger and hurt that came with Sherlock’s return. I was so glad that his emotional response to Mary’s death was not glossed over. The way he behaved and the way he spoke was entirely believable - which, yes, includes him beating Sherlock up, though it most certainly doesn’t justify it. That scene was heart-shattering as well because of Sherlock’s own grief, and his guilt. He blamed himself for Mary’s death, and so did John. He let John hurt him because he thought he deserved it. 

I loved that John was also talking to the Mary inside his head (hereafter referred to as Mental Mary). From a storytelling standpoint, I thought it was an exceptionally clever idea. John doesn’t like talking about his feelings, we know this. As he said in The Empty Hearse, that sort of conversation is something he finds difficult. That he could talk to Mental Mary was a brilliant way of getting around it, letting us see the kind of things that he was keeping bottled up, and also letting us see the moment at the end when he was able to start letting her go. He’s still grieving, he’s still got a lot way to go, but at the end, he was able to forgive Sherlock, to recognise that Sherlock was not to blame for Mary’s death, and in doing so, he’s finally opened the door, ready to slowly, slowly start moving on. 

I have an especial love for Mental Mary in her final scene, telling John to stay and talk to Sherlock - and in doing so, letting us know that he truthfully wanted to stay, but was struggling with it, because there was so much pent up emotion there and he knew that it would all come out if he stayed. And it did. He told Sherlock about the “affair” and fell apart, and then there was the hug, which was everything I wanted in the episode. It’s the one scene that has been screenshotted and gifed more than anything else at this point, and for good reason. They both needed that. 

I’m in constant awe of Martin Freeman’s acting, and this episode was no exception. Combine this with his reaction to Mary’s death in the last episode, and I definitely think he deserves an award. 

tl;dr:

I loved the portrayal of John’s grief

I adored Mental Mary as it allowed us to get inside John’s head and see the things he’d never say out loud

The hug. That is all. 

Martin Freeman deserves all the awards

Drug Use

I have quite a lot of thoughts regarding Sherlock’s drug use, and a lot of them aren’t quite fully-formed, so I apologise in advance if this particular section is incoherent.

I spent most of this week rewatching some of the Sherlock commentaries from the first couple of seasons, as a way of tiding myself over before today’s episode. During the A Study in Pink commentary, Moffat and Gatiss actually discuss Sherlock’s drug use, very briefly. In the ACD canon, Sherlock Holmes doesn’t use when on cases, or when emotionally distraught, but when he is bored. It’s a stimulant to stop his brain from rotting - he needs cases, and if he doesn’t have a case, he needs something else. Moffat and Gatiss mentioned that they disliked adaptations where Holmes goes and uses while on a case, because it was completely inconsistent with the canon. 

With this in mind, I was a little unsure about how they were going to approach this episode. I knew this episode would involve drug use, and given the commentary, that didn’t make sense. Having seen the episode now, I think it does make sense, because there was an explanation on top of the emotional distress caused by Mary’s death and the guilt. Sherlock using was part of a plan, a plan to save John Watson by making John Watson save him, and that makes his use a little more believable.

I’m not dismissing the emotional aspect of it - Sherlock was very, very distraught, and it seems likely to me that, while his original decision to use might have been motivated, in part, by Mary’s message, the fact that he spiralled so deeply out of control definitely wasn’t part of the plan. But, that’s the thing about drugs, isn’t it. You can’t plan. And Sherlock certainly has a road to recovery ahead of him that is not going to be easy by any means.

Moving past motives to the actual portrayal of a high Sherlock Holmes - I loved it. I loved that even high, Sherlock is still making deductions, but can’t quite catch up to his own head, knowing that something is important but not knowing why. I loved the entire sequence with Sherlock losing time, going from the middle of the road to Baker Street, walking on walls and taking “high as a kite” to an almost literal definition. I’m impressed by the portrayal of it. 

tl;dr

I liked that there was an explanation for the drug use beyond just the emotional distress (i.e. it was, in the beginning, all part of a plan), because otherwise it would seem inconsistent with the ACD canon

The emotional distress still played a part and my heart goes out to Sherlock 

The actual portrayal of Sherlock on drugs was very clever and very well done 

Relationships

First, let’s discuss the unexpected relationship that was Mycroft and Lady Smallwood. I recognise that a lot of people are dissatisfied, because Mycroft is most commonly shipped with Lestrade. I’m not personally a Mystrade shipper (I confess to shipping Molly and Lestrade, actually), but I have had Mycroft headcanoned as aromantic for the previous few series. Well, that’s a lie. I was torn between headcanoning him as aromantic or believing that he has had experiences that have given him reason to believe that “caring is not an advantage” - though typically my aromantic headcanon wins out. Still, I found Mycroft’s confusion in the scene incredibly endearing. I’m accepting of the pairing. 

The other relationship, or at least, idea of a relationship, that stands out to me in this episode is Sherlock and Irene. This is a pairing that I’m not quite so accepting on. I mean no offence to anyone who does ship them together, but - Irene is canonically gay, and I cannot accept the idea that Sherlock is straight, not with quotes such as “Girlfriend? No, not really my area” and “The fairer sex is your department, Watson”. I know it’s likely that this is all queerbaiting, but I’d rather hold onto the idea that the things Sherlock says are actually reflective of his character. 

I’m entirely accepting of the idea that Irene would infrequently text Sherlock. I’m not surprised by this at all. I’m also not surprised that John would think that means something more than it does. But, I’m going to hold onto the idea that these texts are flirting that Irene does not expect or want to lead to any sort of actual romantic entanglement. 

I will say that I loved John’s speech on the matter, though, which sounded to me like he was telling Sherlock that he deserved to be loved and to be with someone and that he shouldn’t wait until it’s too late. 

Just while we’re on the subject of relationships, I’m very pleased to know that John’s “affair” was no more than texting. The John Watson we know would not let it go any further than that. The idea that John Watson would even accept the number of another woman is still a bit out of character, but I suppose we all do silly things - especially if your best friend and your wife live insane lives and you want some sort of normality. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that the pretty girl on the bus wasn’t normal, either. 

tl;dr

Mycroft not knowing how to respond to Lady Smallwood is adorable 

Sherlock and Irene definitely text (or, at least, Irene texts, Sherlock receives) but neither of them are romantically or sexually attracted to each other, because they don’t swing that way

I can forgive John for texting another woman more than I’d have been able to had he done more with her 

Eurus

Here was something I did not expect. I know we all expected the lady on the bus to be more than who she said she was, and I know many people worked out that she and the “Lady in Red” (who we now know to be Fake Faith) were the same person just from the trailers and promo pics, but I did not expect this turn of events. I’m actually very excited about the matter - I assume Eurus will be the villain of the final episode, and it’s about time we had a female villain, especially one as fascinating as her. 

It’s already clear that Eurus is incredibly clever. She’s a master of disguise, for one thing, but it’s more than that. Sherlock was able to predict, two weeks in advance, which therapist John would go to and which appointment he would take. Eurus was able to make the same deduction even earlier, and take the therapist’s place. She was able to fool Sherlock (and yes, she had the advantage of him being as high as a kite, but all the same), and maybe even Mycroft, if he doesn’t know what she’s been up to. 

People are making predictions, based on the line “people always stop after three”, that Eurus isn’t the only secret sibling, and maybe she’s not Sherrinford. I’m undecided as to what I think of this theory. It’s an interesting idea, and it makes sense, as far as the fact that we know Mycroft is supposedly keeping tabs on Sherrinford and said earlier “Sherrinford is secure”. However, it’s also making the explanation a lot more convoluted - Occam’s Razor says Eurus is Sherrinford. Or, alternatively, that Sherrinford isn’t a person at all - a friend of mine just suggested the possibility that Sherrinford might actually be a facility where Eurus was meant to be residing, hence it needing to be ‘secure’. Either explanation, I’m very, very excited to see what she’s like in this next episode. And by excited I mean terrified. 

tl;dr

Eurus might be the cleverest Holmes sibling we’ve met yet

It remains unclear whether Eurus is Sherrinford or if there are two missing siblings or if Sherrinford is not a person’s name but a place name - but either way, it’s exciting 

Other Thoughts

Mrs Hudson is easily my favourite part of the episode. I think we’re all in agreement of that. 

I loved that Sherlock made sure to take twisted, turning paths when he was walking with Fake Faith/Eurus with the sole purpose of writing a message to his brother, who he knew would be tracking him. He does love to be dramatic. 

The hug. Let’s just talk about the hug again. Thank you for that.

Who was taking care of Rosie? Given we know that at one point John was in therapy, Sherlock was in the boot of Mrs Hudson’s car, and Molly was en route in an ambulance, I’m going to say it was Lestrade

I really liked the way suicide was spoken about in the episode

Culverton Smith was a terrifying villain, though not in the same way as Magnussen, for which I’m very relieved, because I still cannot watch the scene in HLV where Magnussen flicks John’s face and I don’t know if I could have dealt with another Magnussen 

I loved this episode, full stop.  

[nh935]

The Adventures of Solaire, Part III: Introductions All Around!

The Incredible Yet Accurate Adventures of the Dread Pirate Captain Solaire Ravenheart

Otherwise known as

The Adventures of Solaire

Part III

Introductions All Around

“People,” the third king of Nestoria, Solomon Prester, once said, “are a most peculiar animal,” and while he said that while he was very drunk at a banquet and later clarified that he meant to say “pigs”, the phrase turned out to be such a quality piece of accidental wisdom that it has spread to every corner of the globe. Today, it is commonly used as a neutral response for a grieving friend. Whenever someone comes to you with news of a neighborly dispute, an unfair ruling of justice, or even a broken heart, it is safe to respond with “well, people are a most peculiar animal,” as that allows you to take your friend’s side of the story without commiting to a point of view on the matter.

I, myself, have never liked the phrase. It makes human beings look like some sort of mysterious mythical creature, of which the inner workings will never be understood or explained. On the contrary, I find humans to be very simplistic creatures, driven by the same needs of food, shelter, companionship, and pride that most of the animal kingdom follows. What it does reveal to me, though, is that some people will never understand other people. To them, the machinations of a mind that is not their own is as mysterious as the forces that cause a small acorn to grow into a mighty tree. 

Solaire is one of those people. More so than most, in fact. But a quality that is even more Solaire is to fix a problem with the most unorthodox solution available, and his lack of empathy is no exception. You may see for yourself in the pages ahead.  

***

Weiss stared at the five men in the glass in front of him. Thanks to a very thin layer of silver on the pane (another invention of Weiss), they sat oblivious to his surveillance, believing that the large reflective sheet was nothing more than a mirror. He was unable to hear what they were saying, but that was of no consequence. He just wanted to take this moment to study them.

Three were in cuffs, with metal plates stapled to their neck. First there was Willaby, the strange fat man in the horrid green suit. He’d actually cried when they brought him in. Based on the reports of the sparkly smoke found in the second deck hall, he was a mage of some kind. Not a very good one, but a mage nonetheless. Then there was Skylar. One of the security men hired on. Shame about that. He’d shown quite a bit of promise, especially with those hook swords of his, but if his own guard would turn on him for the promise of quick coin, better to find out this way, he supposed. And then there was the youngest Ravenheart, the cause of all this commotion. Sitting there, surrounded by his two most intimidating guardsmen, the steely-faced, armored Tomo and the humongous, grinning Austin, he looked…

...bored.

Weiss “tisk”ed to himself and furrowed his brow. Such strange behavior from one of such noble blood. Surely, there was no way the money he was trying to steal was anything more than pocket change to him. Perhaps he was broke. Or simply stupid.

Solaire yawned.

That had to be it, he decided. He was giving the man too much credit. There was no greater scheme behind boarding his ship in the middle of a voyage. Even the sugar was most likely a fluke. He had potential with a pistol, that much was certain, which was the only reason he was alive right now. But in the mental department? Not much there.

Behind Weiss, his accountant Winthrop Skroob, second mate Charlie Scotts, and two more guardsmen stood. All four knew better than to interrupt their employer when he was thinking.

“Vhen did zis happen?” Weiss finally asked, back still turned to his employees.

“Um, at about 0540, sir” Charlie responded.

“Vhy vas I not informed?”

“You told me not to bother you with any more calls about this man, sir.”

Weiss chuckled. “Ah, yes. I did say zat, didn’t I?”

Nobody responded.

He pulled out a pocket watch and checked the time. “At zis point in ze voyage, ve are fife hundred miles avay from ze uninhabited Chrysanthemum Isle, nien?”

“I believe so, sir” Winthrop replied.

Weiss nodded. “Change course to brink us alongside it. Hold zis man in ze brig until ve can maroon him zere.”

“What? No!” Charlie exclaimed as the guardsmen wrapped their arms around him and dragged him away. “You can’t do this, please!”

“Standard pistol wis one schot. You’re lucky I’m gifing you zat much. Frankly, it’s a vaste on you.”

Charlie began screaming in protest and thrashing as he was carried down the hall. His voice faded away.

Weiss turned to face Winthrop. “Correct me if I’m vrong, but I belife Strussenbaug vas his second in command?”

Winthrop withdrew a small notebook from his jacket pocket and flipped to a page. “No, that’s correct sir.”

“Promote him to Charlie’s old position. Let him know in no uncertain terms vhat happened to his predecessor. Oh, and Vintrhop!” Weiss called out as Winthrop was about to leave, “put in an order for glass panes to place in ze slot machine vindow. Ve don’t vant anyone else to try zat again.”

Winthrop gave a polite nod and left the room.

Weiss turned back to the one-way window. Five more minutes of observing his charges, he decided. Then he’d have enough information to begin this little showdown of wills.

***

Meanwhile, on the other side of the glass, Solaire yawned again. “This Weiss guy better show up soon. I’m bored.”

Skylar, the man in the red and brown leathers, ogled at him. “You’re bored? We’re about to be punished by one of the most powerful men in the world for making him look like a fool at his own casino, and you’re bored?”

“Well it’s not like there’s anything to do while we wait” Solaire retorted.

Willaby, the round man in green tweed, was staring up at Austin. The man was gigantic, easily over six feet tall and close to three hundred pounds of pure muscle. With his large, blad, head, massively broad shoulders, bronze tanned skin and swirling black tattoos all over his face, he resembled a bit more of a mountain brought to life and stuffed into a gentleman’s white suit coat and trousers than a man.

Austin gazed down at Willaby and grinned, revealing a mouth of triangular, shark-like teeth. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

Willaby’s eyes widened. “Oh, sorry, I-I’ll stop staring now.”

Austin laughed. “C’mon, tell me what’s on your mind. I don’t judge.”

“Well, it’s just…” Willaby leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Are you a grunzen?”

The large man nodded. “Yep. ‘Cept in my tribe, we called ‘em Nunui Nui. ‘Big Ones’. Elders figured it out when I was five feet tall by the time of my fifth birthday. Seemed to have capped out, though.”

“Goodness me. It’s just… well, I’ve heard about them, but I never got to see one before. Is it true that it’s just a random condition of birth?”

Austin shrugged. “That’s what the hoity-toities on the top deck tell me.”

“Well, I have to say, you seem very, um…” Willaby stopped, having trouble with the words.

Austin leaned over. “Yes?”

“...er…”

“Not stupid,” Solaire called out.

Willaby gaped back at Solaire in shock and fear. Austin just laughed. “Yeah, I know. Elders told me I was the first Nunui Nui to figure out how to talk, let alone carry out conversations. Probably would have been a genius otherwise.”

Willaby turned back to Austin. “So the intelligence levels of grunzens differ?”

“All sorts of things differ,” Austin said. “Some of us get really fat instead of strong. Some have shark teeth, like me, and some of us like to take our enemies, rip open their throats, coat our skin in their blood, and dance naked under the light of a bright full moon.”

Willaby went pale. “W-what? Grunzen don’t d-do th-th-that.”

“Oh.” Austin’s grin went wider. “Guess that’s just me.”

A slight whimper escaped Willaby’s lips.

(A quick aside: Austin’s shark teeth are not a random trait of the grunzen. His were filed to that shape as part of his initiation ceremony as a warrior of the tribe. I am unsure as to the exact purpose of this lie, outside of scaring Willaby, though he is a grunzen, if that falsehood caused that fact to come into question.)

While this was happening, Skylar scooched himself, and, by extension, the chair he was bound to, over to the bronze-skinned, clean-shaven, stoic-faced warrior wearing a huge set of armor made out of scales of iron and hardened leather painted dark red. He also carried a long katana sheathed at his side.

“Psst,” he hissed, “hey Tomo.”

 Tomo slowly turned to him.  

“You’re going to help me get out of here, right?”

Tomo returned to staring straight ahead.

“C’mon,” Skyler pleaded, “don’t do me like that.”

“You have brought shame and dishonor upon yourself by betraying the trust given to you by your employer,” Tomo responded. “I do not wish to speak with you.”

“That makes it sound a lot worse than it actually is!”

“You attacked the charges you were supposed to be helping for the promise of gold coin.”

Skyler mumbled something unintelligible and angry. “Alright, fine! But I’ve learned my lesson. Please, Tomo.”

Solaire rolled his eyes. “Give it up. Mr. Stick-in-the-Ass isn’t going to budge.”

“I am not” Tomo confirmed.

“See?” Solaire replied.

“I also have no sticks in my anus.”

“You get many ladies with that sparkling personality of yours?” Solaire asked.

“I do not associate with women. I must remain pure, disciplined, and celibate to uphold the code of bushido.”

Solaire groaned. “Weiss, just get here already!”

“Shut up!” Skyler spat at him. “You, of all people, have no right to complain right now!”

“I have every right to complain,” Solaire shot back. “I’m stuck in this holding cell with three wet blankets and a crazy shark man.”

“Crazy shark man…” Austin muttered, amused.

“I see no damp sheets” Tomo observed.

“Yes, because of you!” Skyler scowled at him. “If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be down here.”

“I don’t recall holding a gun to your head to help me,” Solaire remarked. “If anyone has a right to complain, it’s the fat man with the whiskers.”

“Yeah!” Willaby exclaimed.

Solaire glared at him.

Willaby’s gaze returned to the floor. “B-but I won’t.”

“Don’t let him intimidate you!” Skyler yelled.

“Don’t let him intimidate you into not being intimidated!” Solaire yelled as well. “I’m very scary, trust me.”

Austin chuckled. “I like this one.”

“Are the sheets hidden?” Tomo asked.

“Shut up!” Skyler shouted.

“Or what?” Solaire challenged.

 “I’ll shut you up myself!”

“Quite a boast coming from a man tied to a chair.”

“I will...”

CLANG.

Mr. Weiss entered at the other end of the room, accompanied by a thin man who looked like a vulture in human form, carrying a small book.

Austin and Tomo subtly straightened up.

“Vell, vell, vell.” He approached a metal table at the center of the room, set his red velvet tophat on the surface, and leaned onto the table. “Zis is quite ze interesting situation, nien?”

Willaby and Skylar glanced nervously at each other.

“Ah, but vhere are my manners?” Mr. Weiss continued. “Allov me to introduce myself; my name is Mr. Veiss, and I am your nev boss! Nov, you might hafe noticed zat zere is a metal plate attached to your skin. Vould anyone like to help me demonstrate it?”

Solaire narrowed his eyes at Weiss. “How about you demonstrate it after you shove it up your… GAAH!” A buzzing sound filled the air as Solaire jerked this way and that, eyes screwed shut in pain. When it was over, a long line of ozone-reeking smoke trailed from the plate in his neck.

“Zank you, Mr. Ravenheart.”

“It’s Solaire,” he gasped. “And happy to help.”

Weiss chuckled. “Zese are Abrary slave plates,” Solaire looked up and gritted his teeth at that, “and zey vork vis a combination of magic and technology too far adfanced for you to underschtand, let alone vork around. I can gife you a controlled, non-lethal schock vis zis,” he held up a small remote with a button, “or I can tell it to delifer a lethal blow. It vill also deliver a lethal schock if you tamper vis ze plate, attempt to remofe ze plate, or if my heart efer stops beatink. Undershtood?”

Nobody spoke.

“Excellent! I’m schure it goes visout saying, but you are all mine now. Vhen I say jump, you say ‘hov high?’ Vhen I say run, you say ‘hov fast?’ Zere are seferal tasks I need you to complete for me as ze days go by. Tomo and Aushtin” he said, gesturing to the two men behind them “vill also be helpink you. Vhile I am not vis you, zey will be in command, so if zey ashk you eizer of zose questions as vell, you are to respond in ze exact. same. vay. Do zis all vell and visout queschtion, zen ve can talk about releasing you.”

“Talk?” Solaire interjected. “You expect us to kiss ass to you for a pat on the head and a maybe?”

Weiss glanced over to Solaire. “Ah! Mr. Ravenheart…”

“It’s Solaire.”

“...glad to see you so… comfortable, on my schip. I hafe to say, you caused quite ze commotion back zere, vhat vis ze slot machine and ze gold coins and makink my men look like fools.” He smiled. “I’m schure ve vill hafe quite ze time workink togezer, Mr… Solaire.”

Solaire stared him right in the eye. “I’m sure we will, Mr. Weiss,” he said, pronouncing the name “Wees”.

“It’s Weiss” he corrected, pronouncing it “Vice”.

“Wees” Solaire confirmed.

“No, Vice.”

“Wees.”

“Vice.”

“Wees”

“Vice”

“Wees.”

“SKYLER!” Weiss exclaimed, loud enough to make the man jump. “I hafe to say, of all ze people I expected to see down here, you were not one of zem.”

The man in leathers squirmed a bit. “Well, you know what they say, first time for everything… right?”

“And your lasht, one way or anozer,” Wiess said, nodding. “Disappointink zat you decided to srow all zat talent avay. You had quite ze fote of confidence from your former captain, and I could see vhy. Hook svords are a hard veapon to mashter, much less climb vis, nien?”

“They are.” Skyler’s face began to look hopeful. “Lot of time and talent went into that.”

“Schame zat you couldn’t hafe had more discipline elsevhere in your life.”

“L-look, maybe we could work something out, right? Public apology, pay you the money back, m-maybe we could discuss other forms of favors?”

“Yes, and zen I’ll let eferyone know zat mutiny isn’t serious and seft from me is okie-dokie. Maybe I schould shtart forgifink ze gamblink debts as vell?” Weiss rolled his eyes. “Honeshtly, you shtruck me as smarter zan zat, Skyler.”

Skyler’s eyes fell to the floor. Willaby looked at Skyler, then back to Weiss. “I’m sorry, but there must have been a mistake here, sir.”

Weiss turned to him. “Ah! And Villaby, vas it?”

“Er, Willaby, yes.”

“I hafe to admit, I hadn’t had ze pleaschure of meetink you before. Do you mind tellink me vho you are?“

“Well,” he stammered. “I-I’m a baker. Was a baker, I suppose. Place burnt down. Not sure why, come to think about it. L’homme de guimauve, it was called. Specialized in cakes and pastries. I was the pastry chef.”

Weiss nodded. “And a sorcerer.”

The eyes of Skyler, Tomo, and Austin went wide as they stared at Willaby, who began to nervously fidget from the attention.

“Well, I-I-I mean, that didn’t really come into play with the baking thing. It was more of a minor… thing… I could do… sometimes.��

“Minor thing?” Skyler exclaimed. “You were lucky enough to be born with magic and power literally in your blood, and you call that a minor thing?”

Solaire yawned.

Willaby’s expression went dark for a second. “It’s only a good thing if you can control it, and I was not given that ability.” He turned back to Weiss. “But surely there has been a mistake! I had nothing to do with this commotion, I swear!”

“Oh really?” Weiss asked. “Because accordink to our records, you lied to a crew member to hide Mr. Solaire here…”

“He was threatening me with a gun!”

“...got into a shcuffle vis ze crew member vehn he tried to enter…”

“I panicked!”

“...cast a shpell to obscure vischion to aid in his escape…”

“That was an accident. I can’t always control…”

“...shtabbed ze poor crew man after Solaire had left…”

“...what? No... I didn’t…”

“...and zen attempted to fight ze security forces in ze hallway.” Weiss smiled. “Vell, at least ve got ourselfes a sorcerer out of all zat chaos, nien?”

A look of horrified realization crossed Willaby’s face. “You can’t.”

“Can, did, and done!” Weiss glanced back to the vulture man. “Nov, Vinthrop, if you vouldn’t mind giving zese people back zere veapons and oser effects so ve can let zem go. Zey schouldn’t be a problem vis ze plates.”

Winthrop approached, lifted a large oblong bag off the floor and onto the table, and opened it up. “Tomo, would you please untie Mr. Skyler?”

Tomo unsheathed the katan and flicked faster than the eye could follow. The various ropes binding Skyler fell to the ground as he stood up, rubbing his wrist.

Wintrhop began withdrawing items and placing them on the table. “Two hook swords, one custom made revolver pistol, long barreled, and one custom made revolver pistol, short barreled.”

Skyler took the items and placed them back in his holsters, mumbling as he did so.

“Next, Mr. Willaby please.”

Tomo repeated the motion to Willaby’s chair as he unsteadily got to his feet.

Wintrhop studied his notebook. “Nothing”

Solaire looked at Willaby and raised an eyebrow.

His face turned a bright shade of scarlet. “I’m a baker on vacation!”

“Zat won’t do.” Weiss reached into his coat and pulled out a short wooden rod, cut into square and diamond-like patterns. “Here’s a shpell focus. Schould reign back your power enough for you to defend yourself magically, efen sough it’s cheap. Try not to oferload it.”

Willaby took it and oggeled it like a jungle native encountering a bar of soap for the first time.

“Lastly, Solaire?”

Tomo repeated the motion, and for just a second, Solaire saw the side of his neck, There under the skin, so old it had been healed over, was a foreign object. A slave plate, he realized, as he walked to the table.

“One custom made revolver pistol, broad barrel. Two single shot hold-out pistol attached to a spring-mounted vambrace…”

Weiss took one of the hold-out pistols off of the table before Solaire could take it. It was a small flintlock, welded to a brass extension arm that could be drawn back and clicked into place. He pushed and pulled the spring back for a bit before nodding approvingly and extending it towards Solaire, who immediately snatched it out his hands.

Winthrop cleared his throat. “Two revolver pistols, one pair of knuckle guards, three daggers, one cutlass…”

“Gods and demons” Skyler muttered.

Solaire saw him remove the very last item he had on him before he was captured: a long ivory cane. A long ivory cane with a sword hidden inside.

“Can we hurry this up?” Solaire interrupted before Winthrop could announce the last item. “I need to get out of here before I fall asleep from boredom.”

Winthrop looked at him confused. “I beg your pardon?”

“C’mon, you know, faster! Vamoos! Andele!” He thought for a minute. “Eedspay-upsay!”

“We have a process we need to…”

Weiss chuckled. “It’s alright, Vinthrop.” He took the cane out of his hands and handed it over to Solaire. “ Let’s let him safe zat fim and figor for ze job, nien?”

Solaire took the cane and held it at his side, his only ace up his sleeve left secret.

“I vill let you knov vhen you are needed, gentlemen.” Weiss gestured to the open door beside him. “Until zat time, you are free to avail yourselfes of ze room and board in ze crew quarters.” He smiled. “Enjoy your shtay at ze Emperor.”

***

After a brief meal of not quite the worst slop he’d ever had, but pretty close, and a sleep on a cot that ranked just above “tavern floor” in Solaire’s experience, he was back out and about the ship, taking in the sights, sounds, smells and feels of it, mentally cataloging every weakness he could find or think of.

So he’d gotten a little curious and things hadn’t gone exactly as he’d planned. So what? The mission was still the same. Find out where the information about River was kept, steal it, and sail away, preferably with a gunshot through the neck of that smug Eiswhen-accented son-of-a-bitch in the red velvet suit. And yes, now the ending of the plan had a few complications thrown into it, but at least he had a reliable alibi until he was ready to make his move. Who knows? Maybe he could even get into a few places a bit easier like this.

While making his way through the engine room, trying to understand the mess of pipes and valves and having absolutely no luck doing so, he spotted the familiar form of a large man in a green tweed suit standing a bit away.

“Hey! You there!” Solaire called out.

Willaby turned around, saw Solaire, and attempted to hurry off.

“Wait a moment.” Solaire jogged up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad I ran into you. I found the captain’s room, but it’s sealed with some kind of multi-stage lock I’ve never seen before.”

“M-hmm.” Willaby started to strode away.

Solaire kept pace. “It’d take me too long to pick it, so I thought that you could do whatever that magic voodoo you do to it. Maybe melt it off.”

“Mmm,” he responded. His tone became more terse.

“So if you just want to follow me…”

“What’s that?” Willaby’s gaze suddenly shot up and to the right, at something he couldn’t see. “You need my help over there? Way over there? And you need me to come alone? Will do, good sir!” He walked away from Solaire with a quick march, refusing to look back.

Solaire scratched his head. “What’s up with him?” He shrugged and turned up a staircase, heading to an upper deck.

Voices sounded from the landing above him, just out of his view. Curious, he slowed his pace and listened as he walked.

“Darrensby, would you just listen to me?”

“I did listen, and I told you no.”

Solaire turned a corner and saw Skyler arguing with someone he didn’t recognize on the staircase landing, though from the uniform, he could tell the other man was one of the ship hands. As he came into view, both of them stopped to look at Solaire.

“Oh, blast it to hell” Skyler groaned.

The shiphand sniggered. “Why don’t you ask your girlfriend there?”

Skylar glared at the man and grabbed a handful of his shirt, shoving him down the stairs. He caught himself easily and winked back at Skyler as he passed Solaire and descended the steps.

“What in the name of the abyss do you want?” Skyler spat at him.

“I found the captain’s quarters,” Solaire responded, “but I’m unfamiliar with the lock. Since you’ve been here for a bit…”

“Of course.” Skyler rolled his eyes and try to push his way past the pale noble. “Rot in hell, Solaire.”

Solaire stepped in front of him. “What is this about? This hostility. You and the tweed man, you both…”

“Tweed man?” Skyler’s stare shot daggers at Solaire. “You mean Willaby?”

“If that’s his name.”

“You want to know what’s wrong, Solaire? You ruined our lives. We’re pissed off at you. So if you’d please go away…”

“I did that?” Solaire thought for a moment. “Tweed might have a case, but I remember you being just as eager as me to get off this ship with that money.”

“Yeah, and you know what? I thought that meant working together. We could have escaped, easy, but when I turned around, my ally was nowhere to be found. Instead I had a whole other platoon of robots getting in line to stab me.”

“Well, that was your fault for trusting me.”

Skyler put his arm across Solaire’s throat and pushed him into the wall. “Until Weiss gets whatever that job is lined up for us,” he growled, scowling at him inches away from Solaire’s face, “I don’t want to see you. You get that?” He shoved himself off and walked down the stairs before Solaire could respond.

Solaire stood in the empty staircase for a moment before continuing his climb upwards.

***

There’s only so much searching any man can do in a day before his body makes a request for food, however vile, and so Solaire tore himself away from his task once evening fell to make his way back to the crew’s mess hall.

The large room was incredibly loud and crowded, with sailors and wait staff moving this way and that, shouting over each other and raccously laughing. Whatever revulsive white creamy stew they had served the day before was today’s dish as well, as people lined up to fill up their wooden bowl and move into one of the many long tables running the entire length of the hall.

“Hey, fairy man!” A sudden motion from across the room caught Solaire’s eye. It was a green lime, sailing through the air to hit Willaby on his back, who didn’t so much as turn around from his spot seated in the corner when it hit him. “Give us another dose of pixie dust!” A chorus of cruel laughter rang out.

Skyler stood up next to him and shouted back “Fuck off!”

“Oooh, I’m so scared,” the man at the table retorted back. “He might fight us. Here, is this enough?” The group began throwing copper pennies at Skyler, who stood there and fumed as the coins rained down upon them.

Willaby gently grabbed Skyler’s arm. “Forget it, it’s not worth it.”

Solaire sighed and walked over to the table of taunters.

The apparent ringleader of the group saw him walking over and nudged the others. “Hey, lookit. We’ve got the mastermind right here! Tell me, what’s it feel like to be smart enough to come up with a heist like that?” he shouted as the others howled.

“Why? Want some help filling the holes between your ears?” Solaire asked.

The laughter died down, replaced by stares of anger. The man got up from the other end of the table and walked around until he was inches away from Solaire’s face. “You think you’re clever, huh?”

“Not really,” Solaire said. “But among you lot, it sure makes me look like it.”

He nodded, turned back to his friends and nodded, then reeled back with a sudden wide swing aimed straight at Solaire’s head.

As Solaire watched the sailor telegraph his punch, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Schoolyard bullies fight the same everywhere, it seems.

Solaire ducked under the blow and lunged forward, driving his fist straight into the pit of the man’s stomach. Startled, he clutched his belly and leaned over in pain, allowing Solaire to move past him and drive his foot into the back of his thigh, toppling him onto the ground and giving the noble space to put his shoe onto the back of his neck.

Across the table, the man’s friends started to get up.

Solaire drew the Ivory River and aimed it at them.

The whole mess hall went silent.

“You stupid or something?” one of them snarled. “You got that shock plate on you. One call to Weiss and you’ll fry.”

“Go ahead,” Solaire invited. “Honestly, I’m curious how many how many of you I could take with me before I went down.” He twirled, moving open the flaps of his coat and revealing the small armory stored inside. “Enough to use all twenty bullets loaded, I’m sure. Then we’d have to get creative with the daggers. So, who wants to go fetch Weiss?”

You could hear a pin drop in the mammoth room.

“Right then.” He faced the rest of the mess hall. “Listen up you lily-livered arse-faced shit-for-brains collections of human waste! My name is Captain Solaire Ravenheart and these,” he gestured to Willaby and Skyler, “are my crew! Anyone has a problem with my crew, they take it up with me! Anyone who takes it up with me has a bullet from this gun in their future! Now did you all get that or would you like for me to repeat it slower?!”

The only reply was an awkward cough from the back.

“Good!” Solaire removed his foot from the man’s neck and knelt down next to him. “How about you?” he whispered. “We understand each other?”

The man quickly nodded.

“Excellent.” Solaire stood up, gave the man a swift kick in the side, and headed over to Willaby and Skyler. Slowly, the staring heads turned back and the conversation picked up again.

“You always make that much of an entrance?” Skyler asked.

“Usually.” Solaire responded, then sighed. “Listen, I know the two of you hate me. And you have every right, so hate me all you want. Hell, plot your revenge while you’re at it. But since we’re stuck together, we might as well work together while we’re here. Save the shouting and fighting and stabbing for when we’re off this ship, alright?”

Willaby and Skyler looked at each other, then back to Solaire.

“You… you want to sit here?” Willaby asked, pointing to the seat next to him.

Solaire shrugged. “Don’t see why not.” He picked up the lime from the ground, sat down, and began to peel it with a dagger as three of them sat together.

[radthursdays]

#RadThursdays Roundup 08/03/2017

Illustration of a stockinged leg wearing a high-heel shoe. The heel of the shoe is shown as a tiny, long-haired human figure wearing a red dress, struggling to support the weight of the wearer. Source.

Prison

How the Cruel Campaign to End 'Conjugal' Visits Hurts Incarcerated Moms Most: "People usually think of overnight prison visitation as 'conjugal visits,' between incarcerated men and their wives. In reality, less than one-half of extended visits in New York and one-third of visits in Washington are between spouses alone. Many, like Staubitz's, are exclusively with children. In 2007, more than 1.7 million children—about 1 in 43 kids nationwide—had a parent in state or federal prison, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics' most recent report on the subject. For black kids, it was 1 in 15. Through overnight visitation programs, a small percentage of these children get the chance to spend quality time with the parent they desperately long for. And a small percentage of incarcerated parents—who have lost almost all agency, including the ability to be present in their children's lives—get to revive strained relationships and glimpse a better future."

Everything you were never taught about Canada’s prison systems: "When we talk about mass incarceration as a crisis, we often think of the U.S. as the benchmark for disturbing trends in imprisonment. And it is: Black men are six times more likely to be imprisoned than white men in the States. The U.S. is the world’s leader in incarceration rates per capita, with a total of 2.2 million people in prisons and jails in 2015—a 500 percent increase since 1975. In Canada, where prisons have been heralded by criminologists as the ‘new residential schools’, where the Toronto South Detention Centre has been called a ��$1-billion hellhole’, and where Indigenous people are incarcerated ten times more often than non-Indigenous people, the crisis is also present. But here, it has been happening more quietly."

Indigenous and Native Land

This massive natural gas pipeline will run right through Native American communities: Dominion’s Atlantic Coast Pipeline disproportionately affects Native communities. "The Atlantic Coast Pipeline’s proposed route crosses territories of four Native American tribes in North Carolina: the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina, the Haliwa-Saponi, the Coharie, and the Meherrin Nation. Of the eight counties in the state through which the pipeline would travel, four have large Native American communities. Members of tribal groups worry the pipeline could damage sacred Native American sites and the surrounding environment."

Beyond territorial acknowledgments: "Territorial acknowledgements have become fairly common in urban, progressive spaces in Canada. I am not certain when the first territorial acknowledgment was included in an event, but I have been hearing them now for over 15 years, so they are somewhat established this side of the medicine line. When I think about territorial acknowledgments, a few things come to mind that I’d like to explore. First, what is the purpose of these acknowledgments? Both what those making the territorial acknowledgments say they intend, as well as what Indigenous peoples think may be the purpose. Second, what can we learn about the way these acknowledgments are delivered? Are there best practices? Third, in what spaces do these acknowledgements happen and more importantly, where are they not found? Finally, what can exist beyond territorial acknowledgements?"

Two police officers, surrounded by caution tape, point at the chalk outline of the Facebook “like” thumbs-up icon, a splash of blue blood in its center. Nearby, a feather (as if from Twitter’s bird logo) and a mouse pointer lie on the ground. Source.

Technology

Caught in the Net – notes from an era of cybernetic delirium: "In much of the world the Net is no longer felt to be a distinct destination we access in a specific moment through a designated technology, but rather an environment we inhabit permanently, always on, always present, always transmitting and receiving; and despite the degree to which we almost accept it as a part of ourselves, to recall facts or retain social ties, one which simultaneously seems to fade into the background of many people's awareness."

Human Subjects: Should We Rely on Technology for Transcendence?: "Shifting our conception of technology as inherently assistive rather than as enhancement or augmentation does more than begin to reconfigure our understanding of disability as a state of the social environment rather than a state of the body; it also begins to reconfigure our understanding of performance, functionality, and human potential as necessarily interdependent. From a disability rights perspective, this shift is critical. Disability is then located in the social structures, institutions, and relationships that fail to meet the needs of different bodies, rather than locating the failing in the bodies themselves. The problem is not in the person who can’t walk up stairs whether due to age, infirmity, or physical difference, but that no alternatives to stairs were offered."

Issues

Foster Care as Punishment: The New Reality of ‘Jane Crow’: "[Children's Services]’s requests for removals filed in family court rose 40 percent in the first quarter of 2017, to 730 from 519, compared with the same period last year, according to figures obtained by The New York Times. In interviews, dozens of lawyers working on these cases say the removals punish parents who have few resources. Their clients are predominantly poor black and Hispanic women, they say, and the criminalization of their parenting choices has led some to nickname the practice: Jane Crow. […] 'There’s this judgment that these mothers don’t have the ability to make decisions about their kids, and in that, society both infantilizes them and holds them to superhuman standards. In another community, your kid’s found outside looking for you because you’re in the bathtub, it’s "Oh, my God"' — a story to tell later, he said. 'In a poor community, it’s called endangering the welfare of your child.'"

We Need to Talk About Digital Blackface in Reaction GIFs: "'[T]o be looped in a GIF, to be put on display as "animated" at the behest of audiences,' as Monica Torres describes for Real Life, is an act with racial history and meaning. These GIFs often enact fantasies of black women as 'sassy' and extravagant, allowing nonblack users to harness and inhabit these images as an extension of themselves. GIFs with transcripts become an opportunity for those not fluent in black vernacular to safely use the language, such as in the many 'hell to the no,' 'girl, bye,' and 'bitch, please' memes passed around. Ultimately, black people and black images are thus relied upon to perform a huge amount of emotional labor online on behalf of nonblack users. We are your sass, your nonchalance, your fury, your delight, your annoyance, your happy dance, your diva, your shade, your 'yaas' moments. The weight of reaction GIFing, period, rests on our shoulders. Intertwine this proliferation of our images with the other ones we’re as likely to see — death, looped over and over — and the Internet becomes an exhausting experience."

Illustration of electronic circuitry, branching out into the shape of a human brain. Source.

Activism

Report Back from the Week of Solidarity with J20 Defendants: "July 20-27 was the international Week of Solidarity with the J20 defendants, more than 200 people mass-arrested during the inauguration of Donald Trump. July 20 marked the six-month anniversary of the day the DC police “kettled” a whole city block of demonstrators, bystanders, journalists, legal observers, and street medics at L and 12th Street, and gave them all the same blanket felony charges." Donate to the J20 defendants legal support fund.

Direct Action Item

Support the Nimkii Aazhibikong Language Camp: "Nimkii Aazhibikong is an Ojibway language immersion camp for youth that is working towards producing the next generation of fluent speakers on the land. We are a grassroots bunch of folks who are doing this without government funding. Our Elders tell us that to best learn the language, we should be on the land. We have many youth leaders who are the driving force behind the language camp. They are there daily helping to build it and putting their own time and effort towards it. The Elders that come are also working hard building, cooking and teaching. It is truly a group effort. Winter is going to approach soon and we are determined to prepare for Winter Camp at Nimkii Aazhibikong. We cannot afford to take the winter off with our language immersion efforts."

Illustration of Donald Trump, wearing a cowboy hat, triumphantly riding a flag-bedecked rocking horse towards the edge of a cliff. Source.

If there’s something you’d like to see in next week’s #RT, please send us a message.

In solidarity!

What is direct action? Direct action means doing things yourself instead of petitioning authorities or relying on external institutions. It means taking matters into your own hands and not waiting to be empowered, because you are already powerful. A “direct action item” is a way to put your beliefs into practice every week.