#i have been. dodging scams all morning

[samwisefamgee]

Every day I grow closer to throwing my phone into the river and when I do I won’t fucking regret it

[alchemistc]

Donato spots it first - Tommy's been fidgeting with the just-too-short sleeves of his shirt for the past ten minutes, fingers curling into the ends of the arms, thumb sliding along the hem like maybe he could make them long enough to fully cover his wrists just by thinking really hard about it. It's stretched tight across his shoulders, the neck hole feels too high, biting into his skin, and Tommy is absolutely certain it's been hemmed in at the fucking waist, because he can barely keep the damn thing tucked into his pants.

(The cost of having those fucking magnificent gazelle legs is apparently torso space.)

"You shrink your shirt in the wash again, Kinard?"

Tommy's been begging their vendor to switch to a jersey blend for years because 100% cotton undershirts are a goddamn bitch and a half to maintain.

Tommy thinks about ignoring the question entirely. They've been razzing him for weeks about the way every single smile line in his face has been putting in overtime lately.

And then she gets a closer look at it. The merch is usually the same cross-department, but every once in a while some probie will get stuck with the task of ordering a few extras to have as backups around the station and they'll go a little too hard on customization. Like, for example, the one he'd picked off the top of his clean laundry basket without looking in his rush out the door this morning.

Lucy's eyes narrow. She reaches forward, pinches the 118 emblem blazing across the breadth of his shoulder, takes in the color and sturdiness of a shirt he definitely can't play off as being old enough to have been from his own time at the One Eighteen.

Donato grimaces so mockingly Tommy nearly warns her that her face'll get stuck like that. "Christ, Kinard, how fucking domestic are you two?"

(Three days off together after a week of getting by with random texts, their schedules nearly opposite, and when Evan had stared at his overnight bag on day two and realized he didn't have any spare undershirts he'd pouted up a storm about the fact that if he had to go back to his place it didn't make a lick of sense to turn right back around to Tommy's, so Tommy had just thrown Evan's dirty undershirt in with the rest of his own laundry. And then prompted Evan to throw all his other stuff in the wash too. Halfway across the city, Evan is definitely rolling too-long sleeves over his palm with the tips of his fingers and Tommy does not have time to think about how much he likes the idea of that )

"He doesn't even know my how I take my coffee," Tommy snipes, like that avoids the question, and across the locker room Johnson slams his locker shut with a snort.

"Because you've been using his increasingly more desperate attempts to figure it out as some weird intricate mating ritual for three months now."

"It's about --."

"--the journey, not the destination," they both interrupt, eyes rolling, and Tommy doesn't bother to try to hide the grin in his face.

"He just wants to get it right so bad."

Donato's face is unimpressed. "Ugh. Can you please stop being so smitten right in front of me? I'm gonna throw up."

Tommy leans in for the kill. "Your wife ever buy you flowers, Johnson? Because I've been trying to decide how much thought went into the arrangement he brought me on Saturday, and I figure -." He dodges the palm Johnson extends towards his face with a bark of bright laughter.

---

Evan 2:15 PM

Boyfriend privileges are a SCAM

Evan 2:15 PM

Why is YOUR NAME on the back of this shirt? There's no way that's standard

Evan 2:16 PM

Chimney's being homophobic

Evan 2:19 PM

Nvm Gerrard saw it and now I'm just sad he didn't actually have a heart attack about it

[raineandsky]

#122

The villain yawns as they pause outside the other villain’s door. They’re not sure why they have to be woken up to wake someone else up, but that’s what the supervillain asked of them and they’ll be damned if they don’t do it.

The corridor is silent, but the other villain’s lights are still on. The villain has the courtesy to knock—or at least open the door hard enough to produce an introductory thunk! as they sweep in.

The other villain is sitting on their bed, and their laptop emanates an incensed “what was tha—” before getting slammed shut instantly. “You’re here late,” the other villain says tensely.

“[Supervillain] sent me,” the villain says innocently. “Whatcha hiding?”

“What’d they want?”

“I’ll tell if you do.”

"[Villain], this isn’t the time for—”

The villain takes a step closer. The other villain’s hands are on their laptop without thought, pulling it safely out of reach.

“Ah,” the villain says with a smirk, “something the IT team will tell you off for?”

The other villain pales. “They can see?”

“I know you’re still new, but I thought you’d have been here long enough to know that.” The villain tuts mockingly. “WiFi owners can see all of our history. They check it now and then to make sure no one’s doing anything dodgy.”

If the other villain was pale before, they’re practically transparent now. “Okay,” they say faintly. “What’d, uh, what did [Supervillain] want?”

“I’ll level with you, [Other Villain],” the villain says shortly. “I am not risking my internet access looking things up. You, however, sound like you’re already down that hole—let me use your laptop.”

The other villain is positively galled. “Wh— no!”

The villain moves in too fast, the other villain not holding their laptop tightly enough. The villain sweeps it from their hands with a laugh that is very much not shared by the other villain.

The villain flips the screen open with a grin, expertly dodging the other villain’s grab for their laptop. The view the villain is faced with isn’t some scam-worthy browser like they were expecting, but a series of boxes. They can see themself in the bottom corner of the screen, and other boxes are filled with views of other rooms they don’t recognise. It takes a moment to realise that there’s names along the bottom of each box—this isn’t CCTV footage, this is a video call.

Their gaze locks onto a name on one of the boxes to the left, a name they recognise—[Superhero].

“[Other Villain],” the villain says slowly, “why are you on a call with [Superhero]?”

The other villain looks three seconds from fainting. “I, uh— that’s not— I wasn’t—”

“Okay.” The villain slams the laptop shut with a sigh. “Well, [Supervillain] wants to see you. Better get going.”

“Uh,” the other villain starts. If that’s who they are. “Do you know, uh, know why?”

The villain shrugs. “Three month review.”

“At two in the morning?”

Good point. But it seems the other villain’s about to be in enough shit for a late-night call to the office. “You never know. He works weird hours.”

The other villain slowly, slowly, gets to their feet while the villain drops the laptop on the desk. The villain holds the door open for the other villain as they shuffle out into the corridor.

A call to the supervillain’s office at this time is never a good sign. Something’s a secret. Something’s about to happen. Something the supervillain doesn’t want anyone else to know about.

The villain knocks on the supervillain’s door, and once the other villain is inside they head back out to grab some gloves and a bin bag. At this time, who knows if they’ll be picking the other villain up in one piece.

For all they know, the supervillain already knows about the other villain’s late-night calls.

[husbandomail-archive]

second part to this post!

N:

At first, it’s tough. Despite his good intentions the entire way, N was a public face for Team Plasma— there are reasons he went into hiding for two years, after all. That’s not to say he dislikes you— obviously the opposite is true, if he wanted you to be the second Hero— but N is now well aware that he’s different from the world around him. He’s not entirely sure how to work his way into a regular life; he’s not sure a place exists for him at all.

N does his best to appear ‘normal’ when the two of you are in public, but it can be difficult, because he missed out on so many experiences being trapped in his castle for his entire youth. He’s never been out to eat before; when you bring him to the Striaton triplets’ restaurant, he stares at the menu for ages with wide eyes, and when you assure him he can order anything he practically goes wild. He orders all sorts of sweet drinks, taking a few sips of each one before choosing something else; even though he has several plates of his own on his side of the table, he’s making eyes at your food too, hoping you’ll offer a bite of everything.

Now that he’s free, he wants to see and experience as much as possible, to make up for the loss of his younger years. It’s incredibly comforting to have you at his side through all that; he does feel eternally out of place, so he appreciates the fact that you’re so gentle and understanding with him. As his sisters told you, N is innocent— smart as he is, he keeps falling for clickbait articles online, and he responds politely to every scam email he gets. You bring him to PokeStar Studios and he talks through every movie. The two of you pass a street performer and he empties his pockets into their hat.

N remains fairly introverted, but even then, he falls completely in love with Nimbasa City in particular. Some of his favorite outings are when the two of you spend all night in the theme park, racing through the different arcades, watching as many different sports games as possible in a short amount of time. N is better at arcade games than you’d expected— it isn’t until after he’s thoroughly kicked your ass that he informs you he’s been playing these games for quite some time. You never stood a chance. And, naturally, your nights always end at the Ferris wheel; from the top of the wheel, with you at his side, he finally feels like he’s home.

Red:

Personal headcanon here but I think Red is only selectively mute. He does know sign language, but at this point he’s so adept with his body language that he doesn’t really need anything else. Red is only comfortable speaking to select people under very specific circumstances— and you’re one of them, because your Championship over the Elite Four earned you a quiet but genuine “Congrats” when the two of you were finally left alone. To other people it might seem rude, but you know how big a deal that one word is for him.

Unsurprisingly, his favorite hangouts tend to be quiet ones; he did choose to spend all that time alone on Mt. Silver, after all. Red isn’t really one for things like parties, although he’ll show up for a few minutes to show his support— he’s much more content inviting you to travel with him for a bit as he makes his rounds through Kanto again. He may be hard to read, but it does make him happy to have someone to curl up at the campfire with.

Being so quiet, Red is an acts-of-service type. You wake up every morning on your shared travels to find that he’s already made breakfast for you both; he’s also picked up some surprising domestic skills while by himself for so long, so if your favorite jacket gets torn while dodging wild Pokémon, he’ll stitch it back up for you as you catch your breath. He’s well-acclimated to walking the long routes of Kanto, so if you’re getting tired, he’s quick to offer one of his Pokémon to carry you until you reach the next town.

Red’s favorite thing to do as friends, though— battle together. It’s not a secret and it’s not a surprise. The only spontaneous part of his personality, he loves trying to catch you off-guard by launching Pikachu into a Volt Tackle, giving you a split-second to pull out your own partner Pokémon and devolve into an all-out brawl. He also loves multi battles as partners, because the two of you silently understand each other so well, there’s no way your dream team could ever lose.

Riley:

In general, Riley comes off as a fairly serious young man— but that’s usually just because he’s so busy. As the caretaker for Iron Island, a place where many people come to train or catch wild Pokémon, he typically has his hands full. Most of his rare free time is just spent at home catching up on chores or resting; he’s thrilled whenever you swing by to visit, even if the two of you don’t do anything spectacular. He’s very much a homemaker type, so he loves having someone around to chat while he cooks dinner, or maybe the two of you can curl up and watch a movie together.

Riley is always someone you can go to for advice. He doesn’t seem much older than you, but he’s wiser than you’d expect for someone with such a pretty face; if you’re having trouble raising a specific breed of Pokémon, or if you’re struggling with figuring out another friendship, he’s always willing to listen and offer suggestions. He’s very level-headed and logical, so he’s perfect to bounce ideas and worries off of, with his miraculous ability to calm you down.

Despite being so rational, Riley also loves to tease; his ability to sense auras means he can read you incredibly well, and as soon as he’s said something that gets you flustered, he just keeps going. It could be playful flirting, or it could be implying that your mother showed him your baby photos— either way, he’s hilariously amused by the way your face turns bright red. Even if you’re good at keeping a straight face, he can sense the way your emotions flare, and that’s enough of a reaction for him.

Every once in awhile, you’re able to get Riley off Iron Island. On those rare days, he loves spending time in the Canalave library, although he has all the mythology books memorized and will recite them to you whenever you ask. He’s another one who loves teaming up with you for battles; he’s always excited to show you the new Pokémon he’s raised, so the two of you become regulars at the Battle Tower. You’re such a good team that eventually they ask you to show up a bit less often, give other people a chance to win. Oops. 

[eastcoastboyos]

Pivot

Unable to sleep, Joel and I get out of the warm tent and decide to wander the darkness. On our way down the creepy boardwalk, we tepidly dodge blades of grass, having been traumatized from the earlier tick running up my leg. We make our way to the beach and it is empty, dark, and ominous but lit by a full starry sky. We chat and stargaze.

Poor Dylan is fully sick now and can't be getting the best sleep. He borrows one of Joel's eye masks. Allen is also not 100% and craves the AC of the van and hotel. The day's low is 28C. The tent is warm and uncomfortable.

In the morning, Joel and I awaken by the light and sneak out of the tent again, letting the others continue sleeping. We walk to the ocean more and wade into the water. After some convincing, Joel joins me in jumping into the ocean and we enjoy the renvigoration of the waves that remind us of West Edmonton Mall Water Park. The beach is beautiful and empty of the off road trucks that saturated it the day prior.

Assembling ourselves, we mosie to the ferry terminal to Ocracoke Island. We scrounge for coffee, which Joel finds via a vending machine, and meander the nearby shops. We talk relationships on the ferry while dodging sea spit and watch the seagulls ride the air flow above the ferry. Allen zonks out and snoozes in the van. The group decides they don't really want to camp another day in the incessant heat, and Joel books a spur of the moment hotel in Jacksonville, NC.

Orcacoke is an interesting island. All the locals drive golf carts around which we evny in the hot sun. Most buildings are on stilts or owned by rental companies. Seeking food, we stop at Smacnallys for fish sandwiches and plates of shrimp. We do a bit of shopping in the sunny heat and Joel is unfortunately scammed a tip at a local ice cream shop. Joel gives them a calm but firm piece of his mind, and after 15 minutrs of walking, we see a $1.30 reimbursement show up on his email.

After checking out the local lghthouse, we retreat into the van. Dylan, Joel, and I are sunburnt. The group starts to slow down. Waiting around the next ferry terminal, we explore the local fauna and restrooms. Joel entertains me with facts on the meaning of the word "Horizontal and puns like "Imma lichen this bench". Dylan becomes addicted to trader Joe's Licorice.

Arriving back at the mainland, the sun is setting. Our GPS starts going wonky so we have to disconnect and Joel navigates verbally. The surfboard on top of the Jeep in front of us almost flies off and someone is lighting off fireworks near the glass station. We are eager to get to our hotel, but still are over an hour away.

Picking up aloe vera at a massive Walmart, Dylan and Allen are pretty much spent. The mood is low but functional, and we are forced to the drive through of a Wendy's once we realize their doors are not open. Watching cockroaches outside, the staff inform us they are out of chicken and we pivot to beef. Allen is zonked and sleeping again (Sleepytime Tylenol coming in clutch) and the rest of us swap work stories having perked up with food.

The hotel is cheap but cool ❄️. Joel, Blake, and I inspect what appears to be pubes on a bedroom door. I discover that I have left my stinky shoes in my suitcase the entire day seasoning in the hot van, and my clothes smell like ass. Blake and Joel sip beers. Time for bed.

Derek

[lunamadhatter99]

Panic

Part 12

Here's part 12 everyone!

Also.. I had a riff/Dodge request, but I can't find it anymore so whoever asked please send it again, if you want 😅🥰

I hope you'll like this new chapter, we're almost at the end.

Tell me what you think and have a good one ❤️

Chapter summary: it's time for the individual challenge, also some secrets are discovered.

Chapter warnings: panic attack, mention of abuse.

Tag list: @shenevertricks1831 @mixed-theater-faisty-tings @stuckinthesmalldoor @girlygirl-20 @jillo0315 @one-edgy-bitch

@just-a-harmless-patato

Panic shouldn't scare you, nothing is real, or is not supposed to be real, it's all a big fat trick... the scam is when the thing that scares you the most is a memory in your head, everything is real.

I arrive at the school right on time, letting out a big sigh of relief when I spot Diggins, he's probably the one to 'host' my individual challenge.

"Welcome to your individual challenge, princess" he says. I can feel the tension in his voice as he speaks.

"I'll let you call me that, just tonight, so you feel better" I say.

"At least you didn't lose your humor" he says. "Ready?"

He nods towards the School's door.

"Yeah"

Together we walk down the hallway, heading to the school basement, stopping in front of a small closet. Big enough for a person to fit in, but too small still.

"Okay... you get 10 points for each hour you spend in there. You spend the whole night you get 50 points bonus." He explains, I can feel his eyes watching me, but mine are focused on the closet.

I nod.

"Usually the most common strategy would be asking me to leave and come back in the morning, to let you out. So you'll get all the points" he says.

"No" I quickly says. "Please" I turn to look at him. "You won't hear me scream, you won't hear a noise from me, the moment I scream you let me out. Okay?"

"Anything" he nods. "So.. when you're ready, princess"

I take a deep breath and walk into the closet.

I sit on the ground, old habit...

"Good luck" he says closing the door.

The door closes and I hear the lock.

Okay... it's me and my thoughts now...

It's fine, I tell myself, Diggins is just outside.. nothing is gonna happen.

I take deep breaths, fidgeting with my hand. It's dark. Very dark. I can't even tell the difference between having my eyes closed or not.

Just breath.

Some time passes, I don't know how long it's been.

I try to control my breathing, trying to think about anything else.. but wandering thoughts are interrupted by a noise. It sounds like a growl, a deep growl.

I sit up straight, trying to hear it better, to understand if it's my mind playing tricks on me or not.

The noise gets louder.

It does sound like a monster. Just like when I was a kid...

Adding to the growl I hear cracking noises too, like a bed or something. Just. Like. Then.

What the hell is happening?

I can no longer control my breathing, it got faster, I'm l having trouble breathing now.

Fuck.

Just breath, I repeat in my head, nothing is real, you're fine. Diggins is right outside. I'm safe.

But the noises just get louder and louder.

I cover my ears, trying to muffle the noise, but it's useless.

I want to scream, but my voice refuses to come out. I'm frozen.

Everything is just like then. Just like it was when I was a kid.

It's the same nightmare again.

I try to take a deep breath, but I can't, I feel like I can't breath anymore.

I start to cry, covering my ears as much as I can, but the noise is in my head now. I can't get it out... I can't stop it.. I can't.. I.. I can't. 

I scream Diggins' name and in less than a second the door is being open.

I feel Diggins kneeling beside me, try to help me up. As soon as I'm on my feet I just hug him, tightly and he reciprocate immediately.

"It's okay, it's okay, you did great, princess" he says on repeat. "You're safe, you're safe"

"I.. I.."

"Sshh don't worry, you're safe, nothing's gonna hurt you. It's okay" he whispers.

"Y/n"

I can't tell whose voice is that. I don't want to turn around, I feel Diggins hands rubbing my back to calm me down.

"Princess, Dodge's here" Diggins whispers. 

I finally turn my head to see a worried Dodge on the stairs, looking at me.

I fully turn around and walk to him, he comes down the stairs completely to hold me in his arms.

"I'm here, love" he holds me tight, kissing my head. "You're okay, it's over"

He then turns to Diggins.

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I.. couldn't.. I don't have a choice either here, Dodge" Diggins says.

"It's okay" I softly say.

"No. It's not. This is.. sick"

"Can we please not talk about it now?" I weakly ask.

"Y/n, you're shaking" Dodge says and Diggins comes quickly beside us.

"I'm fine" I say, to convince myself, I don't want to have a panic attack right now. "I just need to sit"

"Here" Diggins grabs a chair and help me sit, my breathing gets more elaborate.

"Breath with me, love" Dodge kneels in front of me. "Copy me, okay?"

"Grab my hand too, hold it as tight as you want, you won't hurt me" Diggins holds his hand out for me to take and I do.

"Eyes on me. You're fine, okay? It can't hurt you" Dodge's words manage to calm me enough to breath properly again.

I keep taking deep breath, mimicking Dodge's breathing, all this while holding Diggins' hand.

"Amazing, princess. You're doing great" Diggins says.

They both help me calm down, I can breath again and I'm no longer shaking so I let go Diggins hand.

"There, love, you're safe" Dodge kisses my cheek.

"You did amazing, princess. You were in there for 4 hours, almost 5"

"I didn't make the whole night though" I say disappointed. 

"You're right, but before you would've never made it for 5 minutes. You did amazing" he repeats.

"My brave girl" Dodge whispers, I look at him, I see sincerity in his eyes. "I'm sorry" he mouths and I nod.

"Can we go home please?" I ask.

"Yes love" he says, helping me up.

I'm sitting in the kitchen while Dodge make some tea.

"There you go" he says handing me the cup.

"Thanks" I say. "What about you?"

"Me?" He asks confused.

"Yeah, you had your individual challenge too so.. how are you?" I ask again, my eyes fixed on the cup in my hands. I'm still mad at him, but I'm too worried to not ask.

"I had to find a key."

"A key?"

"Yeah, there were some random keys hanging from the ceiling, so I thought that was it. But then I heard Dayna's voice" he explains.

"Dayna's voice?" I finally look at him, more confused. 

"Yeah, Dayna's voice screaming, it was like she was trapped. She was screaming about 'them' finding out about our plan and she seemed like she was scared"

"But..?"

"But.. it was just a recording" he finishes.

"What?... how.. how did they get her voice recorded?" I ask.

"I have no idea. I also have no idea how they found out about Dayna" he sighs.

I shrug, not knowing what to say, but then I realised... there's only one other person to have found out about Dayna: Natalie.

She told me she had to answer some questions about Shawna, she must've lied, of course!

"Oh god..." I look at him in the eyes.

"What?"

"Natalie" I say.

"Fuck..." he smack his hand on the counter.

"She lied to me, told me that during the crossing challenge they asked her about Shawna... I should've known" I sigh lowering my eyes. 

"It's not your fault. It's hers" he grabs my hand.

"Yeah, but still. She's also the only other person to know about my 'monsters' sounds"

He walk up to me, hugging me.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n." He whispers.

"I know" I say hugging him back.

"I should've told you. I trust you so much, I don't know... I.."

I cut him off by simply kissing him.

"Shut up"

He gives me a small smile. "Sorry"

"It's okay"

"I do love you"

"I know" I say with a smirk, not saying it back is good enough as a punishment for him.

"Yeah.. I deserve to not hear it.. yeah" he chuckles.

"Oh definitely"

"I just want you to know that I started talking to you because I always found you extremely interesting. You never cared about everybody's opinion and you were always so kind, but never naive.. I had to get to know you. The game had nothing to do with me talking to you." He explains. 

"Okay. I trust you... but I still won't say it" I tell him.

"Yeah I know. I tried" he laughs. The sound is contagious and in no time we're laughing together like nothing happened. 

"You okay?" He then asks.

"Yeah.. yeah I'm fine. Thank you"

"Want me to stay the night?" He asks.

"You don't want to check on Dayna or something?" I ask.

"She's fine, I texted her before texting Diggins" he answers. 

"That's why you knew where I was" I say.

"Yeah.. I was worried about what your individual challenge could be so I had to check. He was quick to answer. Luckily."

As if saying his name summoned him, I get a call from Diggins.

"Speaking of the devil" I say to Dodge, who just chuckles stroking my sides as I put Diggins on speaker.

"Hey"

"Hey, are you okay?" He says, voice full of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks to you too"

"I'm so sorry about that.. I didn't know.."

"It's okay. It's not your fault, Diggins"

"It's the Judges' " Dodge intervenes.

"I know. Sick game. I would've never done it, if I knew"

"I know, man I know"

"I'm sorry, princess"

"Don't take advantage of it. I allowed you so you would feel better. Don't push it"

"The humour is back! Thank god!" He dramatically exclaims. 

I roll my eyes.

"I made sure if that" Dodge says.

"You better, man. Also... now that we're on it. I didn't get the chance to have a word with you" he starts

"Oh god" I laugh. "Now?"

"Yeah yeah, now and later on, because this needs a face to face conversation too"

"Tell me everything" Dodge smiles.

"Okay, listen here, my man, you got muscles, you look like a strong one, you could easily knock me off... BUT if you dare hurt my princess here... you're a dead man" he warns.

"I'd never do it, not again" Dodge replies.

"Wait... again? What did I miss?"

"Don't worry, it's all good, you don't need to kill him" I laugh at his surprised tone.

"You sure?"

"Yeah yeah I am"

"Mh... just tell me if I have to"

"I will"

"Okay, I'll let you two lovebirds be, I'll see you tomorrow, at the reunion to draw some conclusions" he says.

"Goodnight Diggins"

"Night, man"

"Goodnight Princess, Dodge"

With that he hangs up.

"So?" Dodge looks at me.

"What?"

"Want me to stay the night?"

I just nod and together we head to my room.

"Friends, players, former Contestants, the results of the individual challenge have been tallied." Diggins speaks. We're all sitting listening to him. "All the points have been scored. Shawna quit, so she's out of the game. Y/n score not enough points to stay in the competition. Dodge is on first place and will be heading to the Joust. The player competing against him is as yet undetermined."

"What?! Why? I mean I stayer long enough in that shithole cooler, didn't I?" Ray snaps.

"Not long enough to beat Dodge's time." Summer answers him.

"The individual challenges aren't done yet, Ray." Diggins points out "by order of the judges Natalie Williams is disqualified for reason of false representation and failure to complete the required challenges. As punishment,  the Player's points have been retroactively invalidated"

Karma.

I look at Dodge, who's dead serious, he just holds my hand.

"In English?" Drew scoffs.

"Apparently the judges wiped Natalie's score because she cheated" I explain, simply.

There's some murmuring in the room, but Ray's laugher is loud enough to hear. I look around to see Heather, a mad look on her face. I bet.

"She was never in Spurlock's house. Shouldn't have even made it to Graybill, let alone the final four." Diggins says dryly.

"That's.. that's bullshit. All right, that's hearsay." Natalie tries to defend herself.

"True. We heard you say it" Summer says.

"That's a good one, Summer" Natalie snaps back.

"No you admitted it in your video that you trapped me underground. That's nowhere near the house, right?" Heather's voice is fu of venom.

What happened? She must've found out about Natalie's strategy, but how.

"That was you?!" I ask surprised.

Natalie just sends me an annoyed look and I scoff.

"Plus someone ratted you out to the judges." Diggins adds

Natalie immediately looks at Dodge, who doesn't look back at her.

"All right, fuck you guys" she says while getting up.

"You were outside watching the house. Dodge covered for you." Diggins continues.

"Wait wait wait hold on, wait a second, if Dodge helped Natalie get through the last challenge, then why is he still playing?" Ray asks.

"Well, he was stealing for two. Lucky he didn't get double the points."

"All right, settle down, settle down. At the time of the judges' selection of the final Three, excluding Natalie, the players in order were Dodge, Ray and Heather." Diggins declares.

"But Heather missed a challenge" Drew points out.

"Well she still has her immunity" Summer says.

"Given that and Natalie's disqualification, an exception has been made." Diggins says, then refers to Heather "Congratulations, Heather. The judges rule you may move k  to your individual challenge. Good luck"

I turn around to send her an encouraging smile.

As everyone walk out I feel someone grabbing my arm, I turn to see Ray looking at me with worried eyes.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks.

"Sure" I say, I look at Dodge to let him know I'm fine and see him walking out.

"I know what happened during your challenge. I just wanted to see if you were okay" he says, rather sweeter than I expected.

"Yeah.. yeah I'm fine. Diggins was there and Dodge too, they helped a lot." I answer.

"That's good" he lets out a sigh of relief. "I was kinda worried"

"Well, no need to, I'm safe and sound" I tell him with a smile.

"You made it almost 5 hours, Diggins told me... Good job, that's a lot"

"You made it longer though.. must've been terrifying too"

"Same as you, but we're too strong to be beaten like this, right?" He smiles, a warm sweet smile.

"Of course"

"And... uhm.. one more thing"

"Sure, tell me"

"Are you happy with the new kid?" He ask out of the blue, catching me a but off guard. 

"Oh.. yeah.. yeah, I am" I tell him honestly.

I saw him smile, unexpected.

"Our bet... it's over." He says.

"Wha.. really?" I ask incredulously. 

"Yeah, I mean I would've never forced you in the first place, sure I would've demanded a few dates, but never more than those" he says with a sincere chuckle.

"Yeah.. I know" I laugh.

" if you got a kink though, I'd still indulge, obviously" he teases.

"Oh I'm sure"

"I'd still flirt with you. I mean.. my crush on you won't just go away like this" he says snapping his fingers.

"Thank you" I say.

"For what?" He looks a bit taken aback.

"For not being the complete asshole you pretend you are" I simply state.

"Don't say that out loud" he jokes.

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Cool, and... if he hurts you.."

"Let me guess" I cut him off "You're killing him? Yeah, Diggins would need some help if that happens" I joke and he laughs.

We look at each other for a moment, in his eyes I see sincerity, some sadness maybe, but genuine words nonetheless.

So I walk up to kiss his cheek.

"Good luck Ray!" I say walking out to Dodge.

"What did he want?" He immediately asks.

"Nothing to worry about" I tell him.

"Mh"

"Don't be jealous, now" I say walking up in front of him.

"I'm not" he defends.

"He just wanted to make sure I was happy with you, and he called the bet off" I say.

"Really?" He asks surprised.

"Yeah, I mean he might act like an asshole but he's not one to force anyone" I say grabbing Dodge's hand.

"Yeah.. yeah.. it makes sense" he says with a smile.

"C'mon, jealous boy, let's go home" I tell him getting in the car.

We got to Dodge's home, so we can talk with Dayna and find out how the judges got her voice.

"How did the judges get your voice recorded?" Dodge asks.

"Natalie said it was for an audition. She asked me to read lines with her the day before the Derby" Dayna explains.

"She lied" Dodge tells her.

"She often does that these days... apparently" I add.

"She needed your voice to help the judges rig my individual challenge. The question is, why would she help the judges?" He then asks, looking at me.

"She would say she had no choice, that she had to do it in order to stay in the competition.. or some bullshit" I say.

"She just asked me to meet her in the stockroom at the pharmacy. That's where she keeps everything she doesn't want her dad to find" Dayna explains "I remember thinking how crowded it was with all her Panic stuff."

Me and Dodge share a look.

"What Panic stuff?" He asks.

"I saw a Panic scrapbook when she knocked over one of the boxes. A scrapbook of notes and all her photos and maps and things. It was super detailed...what little I say of it"

Oh shit.

I look at Dodge, a focused expression on his face, he definitely understands it too.

"Oh, but please don't tell her I told you. She seemed really embarrassed. I mean, I guess she doesn't want anyone knowing how hard she studied for Panic.." she asks us.

I let out a small scoff and Dodge laughs dryly.

"She hasn't been studying. She's been planning." He says.

Dayna looks at him confused, then at me asking for explanation.

"Natalie's one of the Judges." I say. "This explains also how the 'judges' knew exactly what sounds to play..."

"That explains everything"

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They’re- Oh Crap They’re Barbatos’ Kid!

This is the second part of that one request I answered for Dia and Barb’s possible kids. Sorry this took so long! Writer’s block, y’know? Anyhoo~ enjoy, everyone!

This story didn’t start on the first day of the exchange program, it started five days before in Barbatos’ room at three in the morning with the poor butler waking up in a cold sweat.

Oh dear, it appeared the exchange program would be up in a bit of a tizzy. He had… a child? Oh my… Barbatos hoped the young master wouldn’t be too miffed about the student not being a totally normal human.

On the day of the exchange program, Barbatos insisted he had to be present for the event, he carefully pushed a cushioned sofa in the drop zone before opening the portal. The child fell right out of the sky and landed perfectly on the couch, they were already wearing a helmet and looked quite shocked by the cushioned fall.

Well, it was a big shock to the assembled crowd, but the child gave everyone a lopsided smile and removed their helmet.

“So, I assume I’m here for the exchange program?”

Dadbatos

Well, this child was incredibly… what was the word the kids were using? chill? They were quite chill considering the situation, and was surprisingly prepared for the sudden drop into hell.

“Oh, I had a dream that this was going to happen, and I dream about the future n’stuff. I thought I’d come prepared.” “Ah, that’s very sensible.”

Diavolo recovered quickly from his shock and was positively delighted to meet this little munchkin. He insisted that they had to stay with their dad.

MC was polite, if not a bit overly calm about a lot of things. They didn’t run off to start trouble, and they didn’t seem very impressed by the Devildom itself. It was sort of like this child had a very low maximum level of excitement. Barbatos was glad his child wasn’t some little hellraiser.

He was never a child himself, so he’s a bit clueless about what children actually enjoy. Here child, have a… have an old torture weapon. Don’t use it on anyone who doesn’t deserve it :)

(I’m kidding, Barbatos is too responsible to give one of his instruments of torture to a child. That’s for when they’re older.)

“MC,” Barbatos knocked on his child’s door. “Have you done your homework?”

MC answered the door with a grin on their face. “Yep, done this week’s and next week’s. I’m getting a head start on the potions project due next week.”

Barbatos almost breathed a small sigh of relief. Thank the stars his child was responsible, it already took a big chunk of his energy to make sure Diavolo didn’t get distracted from his paperwork. Though, his stress levels did rise a tad when he got a glimpse at the mess in MC’s room.

“Are you going to clean that?”

“Nah,” MC shrugged. “It’s whatever. I know where everything is and nothing’s a fall risk. See you at dinner, father.”

And with that, MC shut the door. Well… no child was perfect.

As much as MC’s lack of cleanliness bothers Barbatos, he knows his kid isn’t being maliciously lazy, just for the love of the Demon King please stop leaving cups on the coffee tables without a coaster!

Oh yeah, Luke has a big sib. Sorry- little sib, because Luke isn’t some chihuahua child, he’s a totally mature grown-up Angel.

Barbatos is the type of father who will let his child go off and have whatever kind of fun they want as long as they don’t slack on their important duties.

Barbs also has a goddamn torture dungeon so we here at Stupid Headcanons inc. do NOT recommend trying to eat MC. Doing so may result in you wishing you were dead.

Don’t fuck with the butler.

Lucifer

…out of literally everyone in the room, the last person Lucifer expected to have a secret scandal baby… had a scandal baby. Damn.

At least the human wouldn’t have to live with him and his brothers. The last thing Lucifer wanted was for Barbatos to be even more aware of the chaos that went down in that house every single day.

MC and Lucifer have a healthy level of respect for one another, but Lucifer just can’t shake the feeling that this kid is messing with him somehow.

Just, little things… MC offering him fruit and loudly assuring him that it was just blackberries and nothing poisonous, asking if the RAD uniform suits his tastes, proclaiming that the dirt was high quality-

SOMEONE TOLD MC ABOUT LUCIFER’S FIRST VISIT TO THE DEVILDOM!

MC wasn’t exactly visibly goading him, they said everything with an innocent smile on their face.

When MC starts getting nosy with the attic, he’s not terribly sure how to deal with it. He was going up against a child that could at least partially tell the future. After the first time Lucifer told them to scram, they never went back to the steps… at least not when Lucifer was there to guard it…

After everything goes down, Lucifer is glad that MC wasn’t hurt or anything. He’d come to like the child and it’d be awful to lose the only person who could get his more hyperactive brothers to calm down.

Mammon

Mammon wasn’t present for the meeting, but when he was informed later, the news was met with an eloquent: “the fuck? Huh, wild.”

He isn’t too interested in MC at first. At least until the little runt saved him from getting busted for skipping class. Mammon was just eating his lunch in the courtyard when MC passed by and calmly told him that if he skipped class he should not hang out in the west staircase because Lucifer was going to walk down those steps during third period.

At first Mammon tried to brush off the warning, but ended up listening to the kid anyway, and what do ya know! He didn’t get caught by Lucifer!

That’s when it clicked that MC could see the future, right? Right?! Ya know what Mammon could use that for?! Right?!

Gambling! Scams! Schemes! General shennaniganery!

MC wasn’t terribly enthused about the entire situation, so they may have messed with Mammon a little. Just a bit.

It’s not like Mammon ever listened when MC told him to cut his losses and leave the casino anyway 🙄

Leviathan

First reaction? Thank the anime gods that there wouldn’t be another normie living in the house with him…

Reaction upon hearing that the MC was Barb’s kid? Really? Barbatos? Wow… well, to be fair Levi totally understood why someone would be attracted to Barbatos, I mean, Levi’s watched plenty of anime involving butlers, but Barbatos actually having a living breathing child? Damn.

But still, Levi wasn’t going to hang out with some normie brat. He had better and nerdier things to devote his time to.

Whenever MC visited, Levi was up in his room. But once MC decided to poke their head in the door while Levi was in the middle of gamer raging.

They calmly sat Levi down and explained to him that he could be upset about whatever happened in his game, but lashing out wasn’t going to fix anything or make him better at the actual game.

…damn it… they were right.

Slowly but surely Levi and MC built up a friendship, and the brothers rejoiced at the lack of rage related Lotan summons.

Satan

Out of everything Satan could have possibly expected from the second exchange student, this was not one of them.

Satan began to wonder exactly how MC’s powers worked, he didn’t exactly have any concrete data to compare them to because Barbatos was so mysterious

Hm, how very interesting. Satan decided that it was up to him to satiate his own curiosity and began to study MC. To be honest, MC wasn’t being terribly interesting.

They were a pretty normal kid all things considered. MC went to class, made friends, did their work, very very normal. Well, except for the fact that they seemed to dodge practically every unfortunate thing that could have happened to them.

They’d stop at the perfect time to avoid something accidentally being spilled on them, they always had pencils ready, and they always seemed to know exactly when a teacher was coming… mad sus.

Satan eventually confronted MC about this, and they just shrugged and explained that they tend to dream about what was most likely to happen the next day and would adjust their actions accordingly.

It may have been anticlimactic, but MC did inform Satan that there would be a cat in the courtyard in fifteen minutes.

HE NEEDED TO GO!

Asmodeus

Asmo had genuinely been looking forward to the new exchange program, he was excited to have a new face around the house to shake things up! He loves his dear brothers but spending thousands of years with them makes their shenanigans become a bit… well, a bit boring.

But my oh my, the new face was being obscured by that tacky bicycle helmet… the new face looked an awful lot like Barbatos…

Once Asmo registered what was going on, he was positively enchanted with the little half human. They were just so cute! They looked like a baby Barbatos with those adorably chubby cheeks!

Oh Barbatos~ he just had to let Asmo babysit!

When Asmo managed to sweep MC away for a fun day with shifty uncle Solomon, he was reminded of all the shenanigans that he, Barbatos, and Solomon used to get up to.

*sigh, Barbie was always so busy… no time for a fun night of torture, chaos, and revelry

Anyhoodles~ MC was always such a relaxed little thing. They let Asmo vent whenever any awful tragedies occur, like when Asmo finds a sweater that isn’t in his size… *sniffle*

Beelzebub

A child of Barbatos? The best cook in the three realms Barbatos?! …hey kid want to hang out with cool uncle Beel?

Beel tried everything in his power to get MC to make him food. I mean, the genetic disposition for making good food has to have been passed down from father to child!

When MC finally made Beel food, he was ecstatic!

…Until the food touched Beel’s tongue and he realized it wasn’t good, it was just… okay. Average. Passable.

Aw man… but the kid looked so excited to have made something for Beel…

Beel really hammed up his reaction to make MC feel better. Beel was like “Wow. So good. Amazing.” “Thanks Beel.”

Very sweet child, they don’t mind being used in place as a dumbell.

Belphegor

Damn, and here Belphie was, thinking Barbatos has standards. Apparently not!

When MC went and walked up the attic steps, Belphie was almost bouncing on his toes in anticipation. This human had been a pain in the rear to call up, so he was excited to finally get a good look at them. And lo and behold, a half demon child of Lord Diavolo’s butler.

MC grinned and greeted Belphie first, using his name and asking why the Avatar of Sloth was stuck up in the attic of his own home when he was supposed to be in the human world. Belphie was flabbergasted and didn’t exactly know how to respond.

He came up with a new plan quickly. Belphie didn’t exactly know how this kid’s powers worked, so he’d continue with trying to trick them into opening the attic door. Allowing Belphie to end their miserable little life and thus ruining the exchange program.

The child continued to visit Belphie up in the attic, relaying the events of what was going on, and Belphie continued to play the part of prisoner. Until one day in particular…

MC appeared in front of the door, looking a tad more unkempt than normal, they weren’t smiling their usual carefree smile either. Their eyes bore holes into Belphegor’s skull as they flared at him.

“How long have you been planning on killing me?”

MC had seen the future where they died at Belphie’s hand, and they sure as hell were not going to let him out of the attic after that. Though, they did tell Belphie about Lilith’s true fate before they left, and assured Belphie they had no reason to lie to him about something he wasn’t directly involved in.

So, Belphie did get let out of the attic eventually, and even though MC smiled and welcomed him back all the same, there would always a barrier between the two. Broken trust wasn’t easy to mend, after all.

[gabzlovesu]

ღ ━ 𝐓𝐢𝐤𝐓𝐨𝐤 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐞𝐧

feat. Nanami, Gojo, Geto, Toji, and Choso

Warnings: mentions of sex and adult website

There's no doubt that the foolish antics displayed on TikTok will enter the homes of the JJK men, only ensuing chaos in the process.

˗ˋˏ NANAMI ˎˊ-

“Nanamiiii! I’m back!” You take off your shoes by the door and prepare yourself for the prank. You rehearsed many times in the car and even made a fake receipt of the costly bill to trick him.

The blonde man appears from around the corner and comes over to place a loving kiss on your lips; he also takes your purse from you so that you could get settled in. “How’d it go, did they give you any trouble at the dealership?”

“No, it actually went really well… They gave me a discount on some premium air for my tires! I only had to pay $300 for all 4 of them to be filled,” you beam proudly at him. He stops in his tracks and gives you that same look he gives Gojo when he says something stupid. It was so hard for you to keep a straight face.

“You paid how much, love?” He wanted you to repeat what you just said to make sure he heard you correctly and takes the receipt from your hand to confirm.

“$300…why? is that bad?” You watch him pinch his nose in frustration while letting out a heavy sigh.

“Y/N… do you realize that you can get air for 25 cents from the gas station?” His tone was patronizing, and you hoped he didn’t actually think that you were this gullible.

“Yeah, but the dealership had the premium air. Ya know, the air doesn’t leak out as fast.” You stand there, playing an act of innocence. Seeing you like this pissed him off — how could someone take advantage of you like that?

“Sweetheart, there’s no such thing as premium air. They scammed you.” He lets out another sigh and runs his hand through his blonde locks. “Grab your things, I’m going to sort this out. Whoever charged you for this will be dealt with accordingly” He passes you as he heads for the door, and you could feel his cursed energy swelling around him.

“Wait baby, I’m just kidding,” you say, grabbing his arm. “I didn’t pay $300 for air, it’s just a prank.” You finally let out the laughter that you’ve been holding in. He sucks his teeth and flops on the couch, mumbling under his breath. You try to cuddle up next to him, offering sweet apologies to win his forgiveness; he eventually lets it go and shushes you by pulling you into his chest and telling you to politely shut up.

˗ˋˏ GOJO ˎˊ-

It’s currently midnight, and Gojo was fast asleep. You slip out from underneath the cover, careful not to wake the white-haired man, and make your way into the other room.

Once you were ready, you placed yourself in a dark corner on the far side of the room. You throw a random book that had been lying around to make noise; a few seconds later Gojo emerges from your room oblivious to your presence. You ambush him, scurrying over and catching him off guard.

“OOWWWAAAHHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!” He runs from your scary figure and jumps on the kitchen counter. He snatches the paper towel roll to throw at you, hoping that would be enough to stop the creature before him. Due to your eyes being covered, you don’t see this and fail to dodge the flying object; you fall over and hit the floor with a soft ‘ow’.

Gojo recognizes your voice and he hurries off of the counter to turn on the lights. What he saw before him was his girlfriend with her legs in the sleeves of a hoodie and the hood tied titghtly to cover your face. After his nerves have calmed from the rush of adrenaline, he starts dying of laughter at what just happened and you join in.

“It’s literally 12:00 in the morning you idiot, go back to bed.” He continues to laugh as he makes his way to the bedroom, but you were still lying on the floor, entangled in the hoodie.

“Uh, Gojo… are you not gonna help me get out?” The only response you got was the sound of the bedroom door closing. “Oh okay then…”

˗ˋˏ GETO ˎˊ- You could hear Geto walking down the hall to your shared bedroom, so you quickly set up your phone like you were about to record a video. “Hey everyone, welcome back to my channel! Today, I’m going to tell you about how to cheat without getting caught,” you chirp just as he steps into the doorway. You see a change in his expression to an ‘oh, really?’ face on the screen, but you ignore it and conitinue to record.

He takes a seat on the bed behind you, curious as to what you thought you were doing. He grabs a nearby pillow and places it under his arm to hold up his head, like he was listening intently to take in all the advice you were about dish out. “Mhm tell us, Y/N.”

You give him a look that basically says ‘don’t interrupt my video’ and turn back to the camera. “So, the ONLY rule that you need to follow is… don’t cheat. That’s it, just don’t cheat.” You turn to Geto and flash a smile while giggling about his lack of amusement. The pillow that was once under his arm collides with your face. “HEY, that hurt,” you say, giving a small pout at his harsh actions.

“Yeah whatever, that was real cute babe. You better hope I never catch you actually cheating,” he says waving you off before disappearing down the hall.

˗ˋˏ TOJI ˎˊ-

The noise emitting from the TV served as background noise, creating a chill ambiance as you lay on the couch with Toji; he occupied one end and you were on the other with your legs resting on top of his. You were both unbothered and looking at your phones, but sparing some attention for each other: Toji massaged your feet with his free hand and you were rubbing soothing circles on his calves with yours.

This was the perfect time to mess with him. He can’t get too comfortable — you gotta keep on his toes right?

So you open the TikTok app on your phone and find the sound that plays the pornhub intro that turns into Daylight by Childish Gambino. When you press play, Toji recognizes that iconic sound and his eyes immediately snap in your direction; he was about to question what you were watching (hoping it wasn’t what he thought it was) but then he hears the song playing instead.

“What’s wrong,” you feigning innocence. You knew he was a nasty freak; you’ve caught him watching porn before so it's not surprising that he’s familiar with pornhub.

He promptly replies with ‘nothing’, but you can tell he’s tense. “Is there something you want to say Toji?” Oh, it was so fun to tease this man; watching him squirm uncomfortably like he had been caught once again amused you.

“No…” was all he could say before turning his attention back to his phone.

“I know you watch pornhub.” Your quick and unexpected response caused his eyes to go wide, and he slowly turns his head towards you. “It’s so obvious babe.” The poor man was embarrassed for the rest of the night.

˗ˋˏ CHOSO ˎˊ- “Baaabbbeee, wanna do something funnnn?”

Choso was sprawled out on the couch watching something on TV while you were wearing workout clothes and ready for whatever you had planned. “Come do some yoga with me!”

He gives you a blank stare. “Yo-ga,” he questions, repeating the word back to you in confusion. Let’s just say he’s still learning about things of the modern world…

“Yeah, come on it’ll be fun,” but it would only be fun because you were getting revenge. Since Choso loves doing things with you so much, he agrees to join you.

“You gotta pull your legs closer to your head, Choso. And open them wider.” You’ve put him in several of the uncomfortable positions he would fold you into during sex, and he still hadn’t figured out what was going on. You were finding it hard to contain your laughter, especially whenever you tell him to ‘arch his back more’.

He finally realizes what this looks like when you’re kneeling in between his legs pushing them closer to his head in a mating press. His cheeks grow red, thinking about how many times he’s folded your body like this during sex. “We can stop now, I know what these positions are.”

“No, I think you need to hold this one a little longer,” you say with the biggest shit-eating grin on your face. He begins to squirm and fight you to break free, which he eventually does because he’s much stronger than you; he also makes it clear that he’s never doing ‘yo-ga’ with you again, with a small frown on his face because you tricked him.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓? 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!

tags:@izukuskani, @arielspoem, @misss-chrisss , @hungrynessforfics, @dejwrites, @rinhoes, @iloveitblackbhna, @protectpancakes, @presidentmonica, @oliverwritesstories, @nneedynymph

[malleux]

☆ Day 1 - Prince Zhongli ☆

-> zhongli x fem!reader | royalty!au

-> fluff, conflict

-> warnings: mild cursing, fighting and blood, talk of human selling

-> “pick a prince” masterlist

a/n: day one! how’s everyone feeling about mr. zhongli? personally, i’m rather intrigued 👀 i hope you enjoy! sorry this is posted a little late at night, i didn’t realize how busy this week would be when i scheduled my event!

The library was somewhat of a safe space for you. It was where you ran when the burden of an entire country rested heavily upon your shoulders, giving you an outlet to simply live.

After the slightly traumatizing dinner your father had hosted with your seven suitors, you ran to the library. You knew your mother, who was also rather uneasy about the entire arrangement, was there and that provided yet another layer of comfort that you so desperately needed.

Your mother read stories to you that night- uplifting tales that did at least a little bit to lighten the mood you were in. She read book after book, not once stumbling over her words despite your tears staining the paper and making the words smear across. It was as if your mother had read these books to herself numerous times before, trying to comfort her own mind when she was put through a situation similar to your own.

She didn’t put down her books until you had cried yourself to sleep. Then, your mother gently laid you against the plush velvet of the couch, draped a light blanket over your form, and kissed your forehead, bidding you goodnight and wishing for a better tomorrow.

☆ ☆ ☆

“Um, excuse me?”

You scrunched up your nose and huffed, pulling your blanket closer.

“Princess? It’s well past morning. You may need to get up.”

Who the hell was talking to you?

Albeit reluctantly, you yawned and opened your eyes, sitting up to stretch. Suddenly, you were looking into a pair of amber eyes. They seemed to glow in the dim light of the library, looking at you with slight concern.

“Wh- who’s there?” You mumbled, scooting back on your seat to shy away from the man’s gaze.

“It’s- it’s Zhongli. Just Zhongli. We didn’t see you at breakfast, your father is a little upset.”

“Shit- I missed breakfast?” You were wide awake in an instant.

“Such language is rather unbecoming of a princess, don’t you think?” Zhongli’s smirk gave away his playful comment, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little as well. “Anyways, as far as your father is concerned, I saw you earlier this morning. You weren’t looking too well so I sent you to take a long bath to relax. After breakfast, you showed me the library, which leads us here.”

You sighed in relief, thankful that Zhongli had practically saved your ass from a long lecture. He outstretched his hand and you took it, allowing him to help you stand up fully.

“Why don’t we take a walk through the market? You can tell me more about yourself and spend some time away from the stressful castle life.” Zhongli offers.

“Gods, yes, please.” You agreed, and allowed the polite prince to whisk you out of the castle.

The market was bustling at this time of day. It was early enough for the sun to warm the faces of your citizens, but cool enough to not scorch those who may venture away from the shaded roofs of the market stalls. You held tightly onto Zhongli’s arm as he browsed the goods your kingdom had to offer.

“This is a beautiful necklace, Princess.” He held up a dainty neck piece, the emblem of your kingdom hanging delicately off of a small golden chain.

“Buy it then.” You mused. Zhongli had been window shopping for a while now, and yet you hadn’t seen him buy a single thing he claimed to like.

“Unfortunately, that’s not possible.”

“Uh, why?” You quirked an eyebrow. With how Zhongli acted and dressed, you were sure he’d be able to afford everything in the market twice.

“I, um, seem to lack the funds.”

Maybe not.

“Aren’t you a prince? Shouldn’t you have money?”

“I suppose- anyhow, look at the gems over in this stall. Do you believe they’re real, or are your citizens being scammed by a merchant?”

He was avoiding the question.

You didn’t understand. If he was a prince, then his financial situation should be rather promising, right? What was there to hide? Unless, he wasn’t actually a prince?

No, you shook your head. Your father wouldn’t have invited him to the castle if his background was even slightly sketchy.

Where did he go?

Zhongli had disappeared from the gem stall he was at previously. You looked around the area, trying to scout him out. He should have been easy to find, standing out amongst the rather bland clothes of your citizens, but you saw nothing.

You began getting a little worried. You were dressed down, wearing a cloak and a hood that shadowed your face from most people’s views, but you were still a beautiful young woman. Even your lovely kingdom wasn’t a stranger to crimes.

Pushing forward, you started to make your way through the crowd. You considered just going back to the castle, but Zhongli didn’t know his way back. You had to find him. The only way he could’ve gone without you noticing was forward. Your forcefulness while moving through the market streets didn’t go unnoticed as people began giving you glares, whispering harsh comments as you shoved past. You couldn’t care less, you were on a mission to find Zhongli and go home-

“Shit!”

You cursed as arm shot out and grabbed your bicep, yanking you between two stalls and into a narrow alleyway. Even more hands grabbed at your clothes and mouth, trying to keep you from yelling out.

“You look like you’ve got it real good.” A harsh voice spoke against your ear. You shuddered. A cold object rubbed against your cheek and you felt a contrasting warmth trickle down to your chin. Whether it was blood or the tears you were trying to hold back, you couldn’t tell.

“What’s in that nice little sachel you’ve got there?” Another hand grabbed at the bag around your torso. “I bet you’d be just fine without it.”

He pulled it off of you and threw it to the ground, letting a third man rummage through it. You stayed quiet, afraid to let out even a whimper as the first man pulled the hood of your cloak back. You heard his breath hitch a little bit.

“Now this is a sight.” You could hear the smirk in his words. “The little princess, all alone, with no knight in shining armor to help her. Forget the bag, she’ll go for a pretty penny worth way more than anything in that shitty old thing. C’mon, Princess, let’s get movin’.”

“You’ll have to get through me, first.”

Tears of relief fell from your eyes now at the sight of the very man who had inadvertently gotten you into this situation in the first place. He stood in the entrance of the alleyway, the sun shining behind him as if he were some god, appearing for the first time to come save you. Some broke, secretive, oddly polite god.

The first man sneered. “Yeah? What are you gonna do? Can’t get that dandy little suit of yours dirty.”

Zhongli practically scoffed. “I could deal with you lot without even wrinkling it.”

He rolled his sleeves up. “Let’s see about that.”

He charged at Zhongli, swinging his fist wildly at the prince’s face. Zhongli dodged the punch, stretching his leg out and sweeping the man’s legs out from under him. He fell to the cobblestone beneath him and Zhongli stepped on his chest, pressing his weight onto his body until he was gripping his ankle, begging for a break.

The second man came next, leaving the third, scrawniest man to try and hold you back. While Zhongli was dealing with him, you snapped your head back and smashed into his nose. The guy let go and grabbed onto the definitely-broken cartilage, practically helpless as you swung at his face again.

You backed up from him and ran into someone’s chest, jumping when their arms wrapped around your shoulders once more.

“Easy, Princess.” Zhongli’s deep voice immediately soothed your guard. “I apologize for losing you.”

You turned around. “I lost you.”

“No, no,” He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small bag, handing it to you. “I thought you were occupied looking at the gems, so I snuck away to get this. I didn’t realize you’d go all over looking for me.”

Zhongli placed the bag in your hands and you opened it up. In it, the necklace he had shown you earlier. You smiled at him and held it out to him, turning around so that he could put it on. The feeling of Zhongli’s fingers against your bare neck sent a small shiver up your spine- one you wouldn’t mind feeling again.

“Thank you, Zhongli.” You smiled at him, “But, if you didn’t have any money, how did you get this?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” The prince replied. “Come, you’ve had an eventful day. I think tea and a nap is in order.”

He held his arm out for you once more and you took it, leading the way back to the castle. You couldn’t help but gaze at the man through the side of your eye, grateful for the sweet gift.

You quit wondering how he bought it when you noticed that he was only wearing one expensive earring, as opposed to the two he had started out his day with.

taglist: @xenia-cenia @murder-and-mistflowers @osmiumtrash @rebeljustforkicks137 @heisenwurst @writingmi @dilucs-thighs @wiseeggspickleslime @cotton-candy1709 @emerald-smile @luckymuddypaw @mercurysmaiden @Violeteyesofevergarden @darthsokaaa @aaaaalona @lehra @peepeles @hopeless-path @chaiteabeebee @murderisfantastic @janieatlanta @naritecs @a-cutiecatie @hanniejji @optimestick @trashy-mctrash @9ineine @akatherinque @spqcebun @milkxteaa @spooderkat @4everanimesimp @asheseiler @hnpriscilla @m0na-l0ver @welcometomypersonalhell098 @simplysm1le @lumi-ying @y2ndere @2-player-game @craptainlou @myheadcanonz @Piprapie @calicolaaaa @Traveler-Lumine @starrysurprise

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[sophiashortcake]

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

previous ❀ series masterlist

𝟐𝟕. epilogue

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑...

“Okay, so I believe you screw this piece and that piece together and- BOKUTO-SAN NO!”

Everyone collectively groaned as Bokuto sheepishly held the now broken piece of what was going to be your headboard. Akaashi sighed and put down the Ikea furniture manual to rub his temples. Now the headboard was added to the list of furniture casualties along with the coffee table and nightstand (also broken by Bokuto).

“I thought it would be faster if I just tried popping it into place!” He whined, defending his terrible handyman skills and all too clumsy strength.

Your friends had volunteered to help you and Kei build the furniture for your new apartment, which turned out to be a harder task than you once thought. You all had spent the last few hours sitting on the floor of your new apartment surrounded by the clutter of move-in boxes and stray Ikea furniture parts.

“I think we’re gonna have to sleep on a bed with no headboard,” you sighed.

“It’s not like we weren’t gonna break it ourselves anyway,” Kei muttered, flipping through the instruction manual he had snatched away from Akaashi. Kei realized his comment wasn’t as quiet as he thought as everybody snapped their heads to his. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment.

“Get a room!” Yamaguchi screeched, feigning disgust.

“Uh, you’re sitting in it,” Kuroo replied.

Before the teasing got relentless, a loud bang was heard out in the living room along with the sounds of harsh drags across the floor, and groans.

“For the love of god, can somebody help me and Oikawa out here?!” Iwaizumi called, “I think this couch weighs more than Y/N!”

You sighed in relief, thankful the subject changed. Everybody got up and flooded into the living room to help Iwaizumi and Oikawa get the couch into the living room (where Bokuto’s strength actually helped for once).

Though you couldn’t afford much on a college student’s salary, a home was starting to take form inside the apartment. You grinned at the sight, giddy excitement bubbling in your stomach. You truly couldn’t be happier.

“I think it’s coming along very nicely Y/N,” Kiyoko grinned, “but don’t you two think it’s a little soon to be moving in which each other?”

“Yoko, it’s not like we haven’t lived with each other before,” you deadpanned, “and plus, it saves us money since we’re still in school.”

“Ah, that’s true,” she chuckled, remembering the living together ordeal that brought you and Kei together in high school.

It was crazy to think that a few years ago, you and Kei had been quarrelling in the same house, wanting nothing more for you to move out. But now, you both were moving in with each other. Even when you lived separately, you came to realize that Kei was your home.

“I can’t wait until we start decorating!” Yachi squealed, clapping her hands together in excitement imagining all the possible decorations.

“You two decorating is my nightmare,” Kei sighed. You whacked his shoulder lightly, pouting.

“Y/N-chan, if you ever get annoyed by Tsukki, my door is always open!” Oikawa sang, receiving an eye roll from Iwaizumi.

“Get in line,” Kuroo retorted. “Y/N would rather live with me! My apartment is way better.”

Kuroo had also purchased an apartment recently, at an eerily cheap price. With such a small price tag, you would assume that the apartment was going to be barely a closet, but in reality, it was even nicer than your own (and you and Kei had saved up a hefty amount from your own jobs). Kei had warned him that apartments that nice didn’t come cheap without a reason, but Kuroo had shrugged it off under the premise that he was a broke college student who didn’t have many options.

“Hey, hey, hey! Don’t we remember that I offered Y/N to live with me first back in high school?!” Bokuto protested.

“Can you all please back off on my girlfriend?” Kei grumbled.

“Aww, Kei loves me!” You teased, clinging to his arm trying to peck his cheek. He dodged your kiss, his cheeks tinged red.

“Still a tsundere,” Akaashi sighed.

“He always will be,” Yamaguchi chuckled. “It’s Tsukki we’re talking about here.”

The next few hours you finished up building the furniture, or at least attempted to. As it turns out, none of your friends were exactly handymen.

“Finally!” You groaned, as the last piece was screwed in for your shelf.

With the finishing touches on the apartment, the night was drawing to a close. Kiyoko and Yachi wrapped you into a hug and pecked your cheek before they left. Iwaizumi ruffled your hair, telling you and Kei not to act up too much while you were alone. Bokuto and Yamaguchi excitedly discussed the possibilities of a group sleepover (which Kei wasn’t exactly excited for, but knew he wasn’t getting out of). Akaashi gave you both a hefty lecture on proper behavior for living alone without “parental supervision”. (Both of you were adults with jobs!)

Slowly the apartment grew empty besides for you, Oikawa, and Kuroo and Kei who were having a discussion about Kuroo’s suspicious new apartment. While you were sorting through the move in boxes, Oikawa pulled you aside.

“Y/N, I just wanted to say I’m happy for you,” he grinned.

Over the course of time, Oikawa learned to get over you, and owned up to his mistakes. Slowly but surely, he regained your trust, and even Kei’s as they grew a strange frenemy relationship. Now there was nothing but platonic love and trust between you two, the past behind you both.

“Thank you, Tooru,” you smiled, pulling him inside a hug.

“But if Tsukishima ever acts up-”

“Shut it Shittykawa!” Kei called from across the apartment.

“He and Iwaizumi have been spending too much time together,” you sighed.

Oikawa laughed, and pulled out of the hug. You smiled, knowing Oikawa truly was happy for you both.

Before he walked out the door, he clapped Kei on the back.

“Don’t forget your promise,” he warned, wagging a finger at him.

“I won’t,” Kei replied, rolling his eyes.

Kuroo was the next to leave, finishing his conversation with Kei.

“You two better help me move in next week!” Kuroo exclaimed, before leaving the apartment. You both chuckled and agreed as you finished bidding your goodbyes.

Now the apartment finally was empty, besides for you and Kei.

“What promise did you and Oikawa make?” You asked curiously.

“Something back in high school, don’t worry about it.”

You raised an eyebrow, those two were definitely hiding something.

“Speaking of high school, wait here, I have something for you,” he said, before running off to the bedroom to dig out something from the move in boxes. He pulled out a worn piece of paper. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as he handed it to you. You studied it carefully before realizing it was the confession letter you had written in high school.

“I thought I lost this!” You gasped. While you lived with Kei, you kept it stashed in your desk drawer, but you assumed you had lost it somehow while you were moving out of Kei’s house.

“You left it in your desk at my house, I kept it,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Even after all these years?” You giggled.

“Yeah, I felt like it was too important to throw out.”

You scanned over your letter, the nostalgia washing over you as you softly smiled at the memories. However, you noticed over the bright red D minus sprawled over the corner was crossed out, now replaced by an A plus.

“Why is the grade different?” you questioned, confused.

“I regraded it, A plus for effort,” he said.

“Kei,” you whined, your heart swelling. He really has grown over the years, hasn’t he?

“But don’t get me wrong, your spelling and grammar still suck.”

But obviously, it wouldn’t be your Tsukishima Kei if he didn’t throw in one of his comments too.

“Jerk!” You hollered, smacking his head as he cackled. You pouted as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Welcome home, Y/N.”

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: the letter is now framed in the apartment next to the framed pictures of y/n and tsukki throughout the years.

𝐚/𝐧:

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚:

• the idea came from itazura na kiss, i based mine specifically off the kdrama.

• miyagitea was originally supposed to be either an oc, suga, or yamaguchi. @/wisteriarain talked me out of it and suggested oikawa.

• the original idea was for this to be a manager!reader x tsukki smau with no letter, living together, etc. they were originally just supposed to hate eachother right out the gate and have a fuck buddy relationship.

• the next idea was based off good morning call and that tsukki and y/n were both college students who got scammed by their new apartment complex and ended up having to live together.

• y/n mother’s (hayami) and akane’s relationship was based off my mom and her best friend.

• y/n’s mother’s contact name, mama bear, is my mom’s best friend’s nickname.

• i considered having a female antagonist/oc to play y/n’s rival for tsukki.

• i didn’t write y/n having a father figure and barely wrote about tsukishima’s (even though he was in the picture) because i find it uncomfortable to write about father figures.

• this was only ever mentioned in an ask, but y/n’s mother is a lawyer!

• i came up with the idea driving home from the orthodonist and i passed a building that said, “asian volleyball association”.

• miyagitea almost didn’t make it into the story, it was a last minute addition.

• the title came before the plot, it was based off the melanie martinez song.

• there is bonus material on the masterlist! the dress from chapter 21 inspiration and official playlist can be found there!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @virgoamajiki @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @virgoamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @starrydaisy @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay @lostmarimoismyhubby @witcherydotcom @kukiisan @not-venice @grapesauze @amberisnotcrazy @tarasaoristark @ammemuts @cloudymotel @loving-unicorns106 @strawberryssel @kakaokenma @cadelinha-de-haikyuu @wowie-issa-me-amario @pruemania @vitalthot @kageyamasgirl @abswrites @kac-chowsballs

[marvel-and-mischief]

Daisies

Part of my Floriography Series

Pairing: Pero Tovar x F!Reader Words: 2700 Warnings: gambling, swearing, alcohol, rough handling by guards, allusions to prostitution (it’s part of a scam), lighthearted punishment in the stocks Synopsis: Pero seems to always be around at the wrong time to sabotage your scams and join in with your punishments. Enemies to Lovers (sorta)

Daisies: attachment, new beginnings

💐

“Now remember, ten or above wins you double your stake, below ten and your stake is mine.”

The scruffy drunkard sat opposite you let out a bellowing laugh, the nasty stench of his rotten teeth hitting your nostrils. His movements sloshed the tankard of mead in his hand, spilling some of its contents on the table between you. You had to hold back your look of disgust and smile through the uncomfortableness.

“I won’t lose. Throw ‘em, lady,” he slurred. You had to fight off the smirk threatening to show on your face as you shook the two, six sided dice in your right hand. You had nothing to worry about, the dice were weighted, favoring the lower numbers and therefore guaranteeing your win every time. 

“Alright, but when you win you owe me a drink!” you winked cheekily at your mark, catching his eye whilst you threw the dice on the table. The more you distracted them the less chance there was of getting caught in your scam.

The dice came to a stop and you both looked down at the same time; a three and a four, earning a groan of disappointment from the few onlookers that had gathered to watch.

“Better luck next time,” you grinned, gathering up your dice and winnings as the man muttered something unintelligible and grumpily left the table, “anyone else want a go?”

“I will.”

You froze at the voice in your ear and saw the figure of a familiar man take the recently vacant seat opposite you. Pero Tovar always seemed to show up in your life when you least wanted him to. He was an annoying ghost and you could never shake off his haunting. You should gather up your earnings and leave but something kept you rooted to the table. And the longer you took to contemplate your next move, the more the drunkards in the tavern wanted to know what was going on. Soon you’d attracted quite the crowd.

“I said, I want a go.”

You looked into his brown eyes, the ones that sparkled with humor, always at your expense. 

“It may be too difficult for your small brain to understand how to play,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Then let us play a different one. I will throw the dice, and if the total is lower than ten, I win every penny you have taken tonight.”

The bastard. The only reason he would suggest playing it that way was if he knew how you were cheating the game. You clenched your jaw in frustration. 

“I think I am ready to take my leave-“

“But we have an audience!” Pero smirked, raising his voice and waving a hand at the tavern full of people who hurrahed, eager for you to throw the dice. You were cornered, physically by the wall of people around you and mentally by Pero who knew if you refused the game it would look suspicious. 

“Fine,” you grumbled, faking an over the top smile, twirling the dice in one hand and clenching your other hand into a fist under the table. Stay calm, don’t show him how much he was getting to you, you told yourself. You’d chase him down afterwards and with a knife to his throat take your money back. That would show him.

You dropped the dice on the table and leaned back in your seat to see Pero staring at you. You didn’t need to see the dice to know you had lost, the weights that usually worked for you were against you this time, and the tavern goers yelled in surprise and delight, some were even joyfully patting Pero on the shoulder in congratulations. All the while Pero was smiling at you, self satisfied at playing you at your own game. 

You pulled the drawstring bag off your hip and threw it across the table, hitting Pero in the chest. 

“Better luck next time,” Pero mocked your earlier words, “would you like a drink to drown your sorrows in?” Pero threw the bag of coins in the air and caught it successfully. 

“Oh bugger off, Pero,” you hissed, leaving the tavern in a huff. You didn’t want to see him again this night. You’d get him back next time.

-

The boy was young, still a teenager but old enough to know better. His clothes were of the finest materials, gold threads held the pieces together and added beautiful patterns to the front and shoulders of the jacket. He even had a long, shiny feather in his cap. He stuck out in the crown like a sore thumb.

You had been scouting the market for marks all morning and he was the only person you thought worthy of relieving of coin. He had a guard with him, who was more interested in looking at the women walking by, and his coin purse was dangling enticingly down by his hip. It would have been much easier for a child to run along and snip the string with a knife but the only ones you’d found were hand in hand with their parents. So you were on your own.

You were hidden down the side of a building, in the shadows and away from prying eyes. Or so you thought until you caught the flash of a grin out the corner of your eye.

Pero Tovar was mirroring your position on the other side of the marketplace, the wealthy man in the middle of you both. Pero moved his gaze to said man and it was then you knew he was after your mark. 

It had been only a couple of nights since he took all your money at the tavern and you’d be damned if you were going to let him swindle you of even more coin. You had to get to the mark before Pero did, by any means necessary. 

You tried to plead with him, subtly shaking your head but all Pero did was lean against the wall and offer you a warning glare. 

The mark was buying a trinket from a stool, handing his purchase over to the guard to carry and looking around for where to go next. This was your only chance. 

You untied the string at the top of your tunic, letting it open up to display your chest more than you would usually allow. But you needed a distraction and a way of getting close to the man without suspicion. You pulled out the small scissors from your boot and held them comfortably in your dominant hand, shaking down your sleeve to keep them out of sight.

You tried to ignore Pero but as soon as you slipped out of the alley he did the same, heading directly for the wealthy man. 

Unfortunately whilst you were gaining speed through jogging movements, Pero’s purposeful strides were larger than yours, meaning you both reached the man at the same time. 

“Sir, could I offer my services-“

“You seem too respectable to want the services of a harlot-“

“Harlot? Excuse me, I am so sorry, this ruffian-“

“Ruffian! You should show some respect-“

Your attempts to get close enough to grab the purse were scuppered by Pero subtly pulling you away with a hand around your waist. And as much as you tried to pry him off you, he was strong and stubborn, rendering your scam completely useless. The wealthy man’s guard dragged him away with a growl in your direction to stop you from pursuing them.

“What was that!?” Those words had been on the tip of your tongue but Pero spoke them first. You looked at him with a confused frown.

“What?”

“What were you thinking? That guard could have killed you.”

“Oh do not pretend you care for my health, you wanted that purse to yourself.”

“I did, but when I saw you were going to get yourself in serious trouble I had to come and save you instead of getting the coins for myself. You are welcome, idiota.”

You stared at Pero in disbelief. Was he expecting gratefulness? You couldn’t quite believe what he was saying.

“I have been doing this for years and I haven’t gotten caught once. I would appreciate it if you didn’t save me again,” you huffed, tying up the strings of your shirt before stomping away from him. 

If you never saw Pero Tovar again it would be too soon.

-

You were mad. But you were mad that Pero was right more than you were mad at your actual predicament. 

You had been playing a simple card trick on an unsuspecting traveller, one that you’d played hundreds of times, it had never gone wrong. Somehow the extra card up your sleeve (the one you used to cheat with) had slipped out and fallen to the floor and a guard that had been watching had spotted it and arrested you before you could run.

So that was how you found yourself in the stocks all morning, set in the middle of the courtyard of the castle grounds for everyone to laugh at. A few delighted children had thrown various rotten vegetables in your face, most adults had taken pity on you and walked on by. Your back was hurting from being hunched over, your feet were aching on the hard, stone ground. But none of that compared to the pain of seeing your foe being dragged towards you. 

“Please, I beg you, this is punishment enough, do not put that man anywhere near me.”

“Anyone would think you hated me,” Pero grumbled, humor in his voice despite being guided towards his punishment.

You felt the top half of the stocks lifting off the back of your neck, a second of relief, as the guards situated Pero next to you. His hand was so close to yours you could touch him, not that you wanted to. The stocks were dropped down and locked in place and the guards left you alone.

“You bring me nothing but bad luck,” you mumbled, huffing as you shifted on your feet.

“Because I was not there to save you this time?” You could hear the smirk in his voice which irritated you.

“Because I have never been caught, and then you start showing up everywhere I go and I am caught, and to make things worse, I have to be punished next to you!” You laughed humorlessly, narrowly dodging a handful of what smells like horse manure. You shoot a glare over to the man who threw it.

“Carino,” Pero clicked his tongue and you felt his hand sweep against yours, “these rotten potatoes are preferable to your whining.”

You gasped and tried to flick at his hand but it only hurt your bruising wrists.

“When I get out of here I am going to find the biggest vegetable, fresh from the ground, and throw it at you.”

Pero laughed a large, belly rumbling laugh that surprised you. 

“Why are you laughing?” you asked, baffled at his sudden turn of emotions, but it didn’t deter him from laughing more. 

It was the second plop of manure hitting the top of your head that had you joining in with Pero. The ridiculousness of the situation, the bickering between you, and your damn hand kept knocking into his. It was all so silly.

You spent the rest of the morning in fits of giggles with the man you thought you hated.

-

You were thrown down the steps of the dungeons, your knees hitting the hard, dirty floor before you were hauled back to your feet to be taken to the cell that would be yours for the night.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” was the voice that greeted you. You saw him sitting in the corner of the cell, a growing bruise on his jaw and stripped of his leather outer garments. He looked softer in just a shirt and breeches, more vulnerable but also kinder. Like any ordinary man, not the pain in the ass you knew him to be. You chuckled at the sight of him.

“Your life would be boring without me,” you teased, but Pero nodded his agreement. You plopped down next to him with a sigh, stretching out your legs and feeling the soreness of your knees as you rested them. You rubbed at the tenderness over your skirts. 

“Are you hurt?”

“Some scrapes, that is all,” you assured him, but his eyes lingered where you were soothing your burning knees, “how did you end up in here?”

“Not my fault,” you raised a sceptical eyebrow, “a drunkard started a fight with me.”

“And where is this drunkard?” you asked suspiciously, looking through the bars into the other cells, all of which were empty.

“He passed out. The guards did not want to drag his useless body in here.”

You hummed, clearly not believing his tale. He rolled his eyes at you, deciding it wasn’t worth arguing.

“And you?”

“Hmm?”

“How did you end up in here?”

You sighed, remembering what had happened.

“A noblewoman thought I was going to steal her purse.”

“You were not going to steal her purse?”

“No!” You feigned looking scandalised at the mere suggestion, before dropping the act, “I was going to steal her dog.”

Pero guffawed, not expecting you to say such a thing.

“Her dog?”

“It would have been worth more than the coins in her purse.”

Pero rubbed at his tired eyes. You listened to the sounds around you; the guards gossiping outside the dungeon door, a rat squeaking somewhere nearby, the rhythm of Pero’s breathing. It was the first bit of peace you’d had in a long time.

“If we get caught again they will not simply throw us in the dungeons,” Pero whispered ominously. 

You couldn’t disagree with him, but there weren’t many other options for people like the two of you. You were wanderers and loners. You had no money, no home, no family. What choice did you have?

You glanced at Pero who was already looking at you. He looked defeated, with dark bags under his eyes and his lips turned ever so slightly downwards, he looked how you felt. Hopeless and alone. 

“We keep running into each other. That must mean something,” you claimed, feeling stupid as soon as the words came out. You quickly looked away and waited for him to mock you.

“You think this is God’s will?”

You shrugged and began picking at the dirt on your skirts.

“Perhaps we should do something about it.”

“Like what?” you asked, allowing your tone to lift in hope. 

“If we are meant to be, maybe we should get out of this town and find another.”

“Together?”

“Why not?”

You looked at Pero then. There was no teasing in his eyes or smirk on his lips, he was being deadly serious. Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of sticking with Pero from now on. However, you couldn’t make it too easy for him. 

“Well for one, I’d be stuck with your ugly mug.”

Pero grinned and let out a deep, throaty chuckle. 

“I would wager my ugly face is better than the hangman's noose.” 

The room became sombre once more as you realised what your options were. You had to leave town, but you could either do that alone or with the man whose company you were beginning to enjoy. 

You felt Pero nudge your side and you saw he was holding a single daisy up to you. 

“Do you carry flowers at all times?”

“No, idiota, they are growing in the walls,” with an amused shake of his head he carefully placed the small flower behind your ear and leaned back to admire his work.

After your initial shock you smiled your thanks and he smiled back. 

“Bonita,” Pero muttered and leaned his shoulder against yours as he settled back against the cold, damp wall.

You think you could get used to sticking by his side. 

Permanent tag list: @autumnleaves1991-blog​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @computeringturtle

[emilycollins00]

Allowing the heart to give in (Masumi centric)

Attention: Minor character death and spoilers from spring Act 2!

No one asked for this but I shall bring it anyway. 

-

“…I’ll be here if you need me, okay?” Izumi stands in the doorway facing the dark room with a hand on the knob. Her voice is a mere whisper, though the concern is clear.

For the first time ever Masumi doesn’t bother to answer, not even a small movement from the upper bed to let her know she had been heard. Instead, he keeps lying there, empty eyes staring at the ceiling in silence.

Izumi closes the door and looks up. It’s a bright winter day, one of the few nice ones they’ve had in a while- spring was arriving soon after all. She rests her back against the wall while hearing the faint sound of birds in the distance and closes her eyes.

She doesn't really know what to do. Or how. Or if she should.

“Anything new?”

Tsumugi, Sakyo and Azuma walk towards her. She turns and shakes her head, pained eyes glancing at the wooden door. “He won’t speak a word to me either.”

“Now that’s troubling” Azuma places a hand on his cheek, worry in his voice “I thought leaving you alone with him would help him let everything out.”

“Omi-kun says he probably hasn’t eaten anything since he left this morning either” Tsumugi stares at the carrying tray on his hands with a sad expression on his face.

“Ah, I’ll enter again and leave it on his desk. He might get up and eat some.”

Sakyo sighs, rubbing his forehead, though he sounds more resigned than annoyed “Let’s let him do what he pleases for now. If by tomorrow he still doesn’t want to come out, I’ll personally-”

The confidential atmosphere is broken when distant sounds of steps and voices begin to rise in volume in their direction. They must have seen them talking together and imagined there could be news.

“Director!”

“Sakyo-nii!”

The majority of the dorm is soon congregated on the courtyard- except for those with work and part-time jobs that couldn’t be avoided. Sakuya steps forward to Izumi, eyes filled with uneaseness. 

“How is Masumi-kun?”

“He… wants to be alone for the time being” she informs with a sad smile, gaining a chorus of concerns and worried looks.

They had decided Masumi ought to have time to grieve properly, and after talking with his father over the phone, they had also talked with the school for him to be absent the next few days. Now the entire dorm was treading lightly around him.

“B-but is it really okay to leave him in there all alone?” Muku asks, eyes irritated  from crying. Tsuzuru and Tenma stand next to him frowning in silence.

“Maybe if he had a special triangle he’ll be happier? I could bring him one!”

“Let’s let him cope some more before doing anything, okay Misumi-kun?” 

“All right…”

“Hasn’t he been there since you brought him back though?” Banri frowned, his voice edged with sullenness. To have been told the news by a random teacher rather than the dorm had been a low blow.

“It’s not even been a friggin’ day, Settsu. Haven’t you heard of havin’ tact with this type of stuff?”

“I’m going to pretend you aren’t tryin’ to tell me-”

“Guys” Izumi’s adamant tone shuts everyone up. She knows they are worried and are not thinking rationally, so after taking a deep breath to compose herself, she talks again. This time her voice is softer, less demanding “I’m sure he’ll come down when he feels better, okay?”

More grumbles and insecure looks, this time quieter.

“Come on” Azuma places his hand on both Sakuya’s and Muku’s shoulders, forcing them as well as the others to turn around and head back to the living room “Let’s make some tea for all of us to calm down.”

Watching the young ones leave, Izumi takes one deep breath again. She then grabs the tray from Tsumugi and opens the door once more, informing the young teen what she was leaving on his desk.

Before she slips out she pauses, briefly looking up -not that she could see anything from her position- and her heart squeezes. If only they could shoulder part of his pain, they would “We are here for you, Masumi-kun.”

Once again, he doesn’t respond.

Grandma passed away.

The text, short and simple had tore a gasp from Izumi’s lips that morning, making her cover her mouth and almost drop the chair. The action had been enough to gain the attention of the old yakuza, who stopped talking about numbers and frowned, worry flashing his eyes when he read the content of the message “…go to the car. I’ll grab the keys.”

Whether the road to Hanasaki high school had been surprisingly fast, or Sakyo had unconsciously decided to ignore a few stops, no one paid attention to it. By the time they reached the school, Masumi was waiting for them sitting outside, his phone on strong hold.

He barely acknowledged Izumi while Sakyo entered to talk to the administration. Soon enough, they were back inside the car. Izumi talked softly, her hand caressing his, but everything felt disorienting and confusing.

Why?

“We’re so sorry”

                                                             .

In the dark room, Masumi keeps hearing voices from outside.

He has his eyes closed now, covering his ears in a vain attempt to stop hearing his own thoughts. Every time he opens them it’s like receiving a slap in the face, seeing reality remained the same; That the funeral was tomorrow. That he couldn’t even be there in person and instead of feeling grief, instead of feeling at all, he’s just there.

He rolls on the bed.

It hadn’t been a bad one, according to his father- just your typical natural death by old age. In fact, Hatsue Usui had left this world sleeping while listening to her favorite music in the background, so Masumi should be happy for that at least.

He wasn’t.

He opens his eyes and stares blankly at the empty space beside him, random memories of him and his grandma flashing over his mind: Walks around town, shopping- even that first time she had baked a cake for his birthday.

Masumi had been angry. He was still young and wished his parents would come back from their international travels long enough to stop in and say hello. Hatsue rocked him for a while, blew his nose and after stroking lovingly his head, she began humming while mixing some ingredients. It ended up being the recipe for a chocolate cake, the only sweet he had ever fully enjoyed.

His eyelids feel heavy.

When had it been the last time he had had some of his grandma’s cooking?

                                                            .

It’s 4:37 am when Masumi realizes he had lost the battle against sleep at some point in the night. A strange vertigo seizes him and forces him to clutch the sheets until his fingers ache, trying to flee from the incessant hammering of his head. 

More memories come in waves, clinging to him and spreading the emptiness that had gripped him the whole day throughout his body.

He then realizes he was still wearing his uniform, all wrinkled by now. As he walks down the staircase from the upper floor, he also notices Tsuzuru isn’t on his bed nor anywhere inside the room, probably to leave him some space. 

Great. It’s the first time since his grandma passed away that he’s feeling something and it’s bordering on guilt. Masumi hates it. Hates everything right now.

He reaches down to put his jacket on, and as he opens the door, five pairs of eyes lay on him.

“M-masumi-kun!”

“Oh, it is Masumi!”

The boy narrows his eyes, looking around suspiciously and confused. The whole spring troupe was laying on the floor, futons and blankets covering almost all the hallway floor in front of his and Tsuzuru’s room. He even notices they had a weird set of candles and lights surrounding them as to not be in complete darkness.

“…What are you doing.”

“We are scamming the nightmares away so you can sleep!”

“Wait- you mean scaring the nightmares away, right? That just now sounded way too shady.”

“Yes! That is correct, Tsuzuru!”

“Sleep, uh” Itaru yawns from his own futon “That sounds great right now”

“Okay, you two should stop talking.”

“How are you feeling?” Chikage chimes in, ignoring the sudden bickering forming.

Purple-eyes stare back. Usually Masumi would have dodged the question and left them all there, but tonight his feet stay where he is. “I don’t know” he answers numbly.

There’s a moment of silence. He sees how their faces change to an emotion he doesn’t know how to describe, and suddenly he wants to turn back inside once more and not come back.

“Here Masumi-kun, you can- um, have this blanket if you want to sit with us?” Sakuya stands up wavering, trying to see his response. Nothing. “Citron has a thermo with some tea made by Guy-san and Omi-san left us some onigiri too if you are-”

“I’m not hungry”

Something must have gone wrong in the process of him glaring at Sakuya to keep his personal space, because instead of backing away, the spring leader takes a few steps towards him to guide him to a free futon he imagines they prepared for him. The red head places a blanket on top of him, and while Masumi jolts from the contact, he doesn’t retreat. He silently allows himself to be sat in the loose semi-circle.

No one forces him to say anything. The only sound coming from the wind and the rustle of the trees from the courtyard.

Masumi looks slightly to his left. The moonlight reflects off Chikage’s glasses, hiding his eyes. His face still as a statue, unreadable yet solemn. Next to him, Itaru’s head is lazily leaning back on the wall, eyes trained on the phone -though if Masumi paid attention, he could have seen he was basically moving from one app to another.

Tsuzuru’s groans come from in front of him. He looks like he’s about to pass out at any moment, pinching himself slightly every time he dozes off while Citron hums serenely, hair slipping from silver to orange to match the bright light of the consuming candles. Masumi can feel the ex-prince eyes resting on him from time to time.

Sakuya is the closest to him. Their shoulders bump from time to time, and his shoulder feels on fire. The boy suddenly sneezes, shaking Masumi slightly in the process.

“Want another blanket?”

“Ah, yes. Thanks, Itaru-san”

There’s a lump in Masumi’s throat, and he feels sick more than upset. More than anything, really.

“What if I hadn’t come out”

The sentence doesn’t register in Masumi’s head until it’s out of his mouth. Citron and Sakuya instantly turn to him confused while Itaru’s watches him with the kind of careful that Chikage also wears. Tsuzuru scratches his eyes, frowning confused while processing the question.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Masumi frowns at the question thrown back by the scriptwright. No, it wasn’t. None of them even knew his grandma, why would they go through all of this?

“There was a possibility that you did" Sakuya is the one who replies before he can say anything. He’s smiling at him, his voice lingering in the air while a warm breeze hovers over them “And... we wanted to be there for you.”

Masumi doesn't like many people. Schoolmates and other people are mostly only tolerated- but right now, there’s a burst of raw emotion that makes him label them as family.

Not TV-family, of course. The ones with ‘very special episode’ problems solved in an hour or half. Real family. Family that grates your nerves yet can be relied on in a pinch because they're always there. Family that fluctuated between annoyingly childish and supportive. Family that fights and screams with you, but stays by your side and wraps you in warmth despite everything you might think of yourself. Loving you. Cherishing you.

A silent tear rolls down Masumi’s cheeks. Then another. And then some more.

His grandma had left. His pilar. His support. The only constant in his life for the last seventeen years and the only person he once thought he needed to be happy. And fuck him if he wouldn’t give up everything to see her once more.

A choked cry arises from his throat, a low keening sound filling the silence of the dorm. He closes his eyes tightly, fighting to breathe.

“Masumi?”

He quickly bows his head so that they don’t see the rest of his tears streaming down his face, and clenches his jaw as his body trembles from the effort of not making a sound. Too late. He can already feel their stares set on him.  

Sakuya hesitates, but despite the young troupe member having clearly signalled with his body language that he didn’t want to be touched, his arms lean to embrace his shivering figure.

“Sakuya, let’s let him-“

But the red-head is already pressed himself on him, holding him tighter. And somehow, Masumi doesn’t brush him off this time.

The others exchange a silent dialogue and soon enough, Masumi feels fingers running through his hair.

A hand making soothing motions on his back.

Even two pairs of hands place themselves onto his and squeeze them.

Masumi finally lets out a sob against his skin, grief setting in. Hot tears flood down his face. Once more no one says anything, they only exchange a similar look- a shared relief at finally seeing the young boy expressing his pain outloud.

They stay with him until he doesn’t have any more strength to cry. That’s all they can do. Not to try to mend the broken pieces of his heart nor to quell his cries, but to remind him that they are there. That Masumi still has them as well as the rest of Mankai to support him- and they aren’t going to leave.

His troupe is there to take care of him, so he can let go. And maybe, just maybe, that's enough for tonight.

_____________________________________________________

I don’t know where I wanted to go with this but yeah, Masumi is a soft baby that has a lot of potential but it was done dirty. I wanna hug him.

Wishing you all a wonderful day!  💕

[charlietheepicwriter7]

All’s Fair in Love and Larceny

Summary: All Kaito wanted was to get Hakuba off his back about the Phantom Thievery... and mess with his favorite detectives’ love lives.  AO3 Link

@not-a-hope-in-hell    ‘tis I, your secret santa. It’s not exactly what you wanted, but I think it’s pretty good. Happy Holidays~!

Also, @dcmksecretsanta

Shinichi blinked, staring at the white form perched outside his bedroom window. He blinked again. No, KID was still there. Sighing, he unlatched the lock and pulled the glass up. “What do you want?” he asked the thief.

“My darling princess—”

“Not a princess—”

“My darling prince—” KID snatched one of Shinichi’s limp hands and kissed the air above it—“Would you please giving me the honor of escorting you this lovely evening?”

“…KID, it’s two am.”

“Very astute of you, detective! Unfortunately, I am very well aware of the hour.” There were dark bags under KID’s eyes, Shinichi noticed, previously mistaking them to be part of the shadow from his hat. “Alas, I have neither the time nor patience to visit you at a more respectable hour.” His voice dropped. “Please, Tantei-kun. I’m desperate.”

Alarm rose in Shinichi. KID wasn’t one to ask for help; even now, years after his return to the spotlight, there was only one suspected assistant to the criminal magician. Hakuba, Shinichi’s… friend and fellow Kaitou KID chaser, had even confided in him about a suspected dark organization trying to kill KID. A pit opened up in Shinichi’s stomach. If it was a branch of the Black Organization that he had failed to capture…

Shinichi opened the window more and stepped away. “Well? Get in.”

KID rushed inside, uncharacteristically tripping on his cape as he did. It seemed as thought whatever was bothering him was truly upsetting to the thief. He quickly straightened, brushing off his suit as if it had never happened. “Thank you kindly, Tantei-kun.”

Shinichi shut the window behind him and closed the blinds. “What’s wrong? Are you in danger?”

“The only thing in danger, Tantei-kun, is my dignity.” KID sighed. “A mutual acquaintance of ours, one Hakuba Saguru, has decided to make himself a menace. So, I’m calling in that favor you owe me.”

Shinichi’s heart skipped a beat. Hakuba… it was rare that Shinichi could work a case with the strict foreign detective, but he enjoyed their time together. Hakuba was brilliant, with an excellent taste in literature, and apparently, a big enough threat to KID that the thief would use the one favor he gained helping Shinichi with the Black Organization. He swallowed. He couldn’t exactly say no, not after KID had helped him so much. “And what, exactly do you want me to do?”

KID grinned, but to Shinichi, it was nearly a leer. “I need you to come with me. Once we arrive at our destination, I’ll tell you.” He clearly could see Shinichi’s discomfort, so he added. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing illegal. But your pride… might not survive.”

Shinichi gulped.

***

Saguru glared. Kuroba, two rows to his left and a seat ahead, didn’t notice. Or he pretended not to notice in order to get Saguru off guard. Saguru in the perfect position to watch his prey, yet frustration rose in him. Despite over a year of surveillance, he was no closer to definitively proving that Kuroba Kaito was the Kaitou KID, a fact that irked him most severely. It had even gotten to the point where Saguru had managed to arrange for a police officer to dodge Kuroba’s every move to no avail. Though if Saguru’s suspicions were correct, the likely thief certainly had other methods of leaving his house, but he didn’t have a warrant to search the residency yet.

It didn’t help his mood that morning that Kudo Shinichi was once again reported missing.

Saguru thumbed through the missing person’s report on his phone in between classes. Kudo was reported missing by his neighbor’s ward, Haibara Ai, a child he distantly remembered being a friend of young Edogawa Conan before he moved to America. There was no sign of forced entry, usually indicating that Kudo had left his residence himself, but none of his clothes were missing, his phone and keys on his bedside table.

A conundrum. A very worrisome one at that. Saguru still remembered what happened last time Kudo mysteriously disappeared.

He hoped it wasn’t his fault. Saguru enjoyed Kudo’s company, to a degree that would likely be thought as inappropriate if voiced aloud, and he didn’t want his fellow detective hurt. Especially if it was his fault. Kudo had already been forced to track down one villainous organization, and Saguru had been the one to inform him of the people trying to kill Kaitou KID. Kudo could very well be trying to apprehend them at that very moment, and there was no telling how injured he might become.

His phone vibrated once. An unknown number had sent him a message. A scam? No, it was a picture, though his particular texting app required he download each image before they appeared. Impatiently, he clicked it. Did another fangirl get ahold of his number…!

Saguru nearly broke his phone. There, on the screen, was a photo of Kudo, still in his night clothes, tied to a chair and gagged. A white arm was wrapped around his neck, connected to a white thief, holding his head up for the camera. There was early signs of bruising on Kudo’s cheekbone, and a dazed look in his eye that screamed concussion.

His eyes flicked to Kuroba. He didn’t have his phone out; timed messages from a burner then? Before he could confront his classmate, another message came, just text this time.

Did you wake up to something missing, Tantei-san?

Nearly shaking with anger, Saguru typed his response.

This is a new low, even for you Kuroba.

The reply was instant.

Kuroba? Do you still think I’m your classmate? Besides, I wouldn’t call this a “new low”. More like… a different branch of my current low.

Saguru paled, barely paying attention to the teacher entering the room. That was no stock reply, it couldn’t have been a timed message. And Kuroba’s hands were visible.

He couldn’t be wrong, could he?

To make sure, he sent another message.

You’re not going to get away with this. Return Kudo now.

Or what? You’ll take “drastic” measures? I’m terrified, Tantei-san.

Another photo. This time, Kudo was clearly in KID’s arms, restrained with an arm across his chest. One of KID’s hands was secure around Kudo’s throat, while the other was dipping into his shirt.

His phone cracked under the sudden pressure of his grip. His eyes flickered to Kuroba who still was, maddeningly, not doing anything.

Why are you doing this?

Why? Tantei-san, you didn’t think that you were the only one interested in our favorite detective, were you?

Is this merely an attempt to incite me? You figured out my feelings and decided to mock me for them?

The confession made Saguru feel nauseous. Because he did like Kudo, romantically although he would never speak aloud about it. There was no evidence that the other detective thought of him as more than a friend and Saguru was… well, he wasn’t happy about it, but he could be content.

But how did Kuroba—KID—realize the extent of his feelings?

Mock? Tell me, Tantei-san, is there anything to mock?

I don’t know how you discovered the extent of my feelings for Kudo-kun, but I promise you, you will regret this, Kaitou KID. Kudo means more to me than you’ll ever know, and if there’s one bruise on his body, you’ve stolen your last jewel.

There was a pause in the writing, and Saguru took the moment to try to calm down, when—

Then I advise you announce your feelings soon, Tantei-san. Otherwise, I might decide to keep him.

The third photo, Kudo being forced to sit on KID’s lap, his sleep-shirt unbuttoned, lecherous grin on KID’s face, one of the thief’s hands reaching for—

He slammed his phone down on the table, the screen cracking.

“KUROBA!!”

“Hakuba-san, sit down!”

***

Kaito hummed merrily as he unlocked the entrance to his KID-cave, the threat to his secret identity now safely defeated. Sure, he nearly got choked out by Hakuba, but the teacher had put a stop to that, giving the detective detention too. And with that detention, Kaito was sure the Brit’s father would no longer allow Hakuba access to his manpower, since it was only because he thought Hakuba “mature” that he had the officers to stalk him everywhere.

Finally, he could relax—

“Are you going to unchain me?”

“Tantei-kun!” Kaito smiled brightly at the detective he had chained in his basement. Kudo was easily able to get up from his armchair and move around—the chain connecting his leg to the chair long enough so he could get to the bathroom and minifridge—but unable to escape. Kaito was a considerate kidnapper after all, especially since he had to sneak Kudo in through the sewer entrance to avoid the police outside.

At Kudo’s side was the cell phone used to aggravate Hakuba. Kaito had gotten a glance at Kudo’s work after pickpocketing Hakuba and it was good. At least, it sounded close enough to KID and worked Hakuba up into pseudo-confessing, so score.

Kaito bowed. “Thank you very much for your assistance in today’s trick. You made a beautiful assistant!”

“So long as you delete those photos, I don’t care what kind of assistant I was.” He tossed the phone at Kaito. He caught it with one hand. “When you asked for my help, I thought it would be for something more serious.”

“This was serious!” Meddling in the love lives of his favorite detectives was extremely serious! With how emotionally repressed the two were, they’d never end up confessing. Speaking of which, Kaito leered at Kudo. “So, did you realize why you were so effective in enraging Tantei-san?”

Kudo looked away, face stoic but there was a light flush on his cheeks. “…I did.”

Kaito smiled, satisfied. “Then my task is complete. Just make sure to name one of the adopted babies after me~!”

The comment was totally worth the soccer ball to the face.

[roundtheworldrambles]

Hanoi, Vietnam

Day 165 – Luang Prabang to Hanoi, Vietnam

I spent my final morning in Luang Prabang at Joma Café, a delicious bakery/café that my uncle Alan had recommended, run by a Canadian expat! I was surprised (and very excited) that the café served Canada’s famous Nanaimo Bar, and picked up one to have a ‘taste of home’ along with my coffee. I tucked into a cozy booth for several hours, doing research and bookings for the final 5 weeks of my trip, including Vietnam, Cambodia, Bangkok and Japan.

In the late afternoon, I packed up my bag and headed to the town centre to hire a Tuk Tuk to take me to the airport. At this point in Southeast Asia, I had become pretty used to negotiating a price when taking a Tuk Tuk, and agreed upon a price with the driver. However, he ended up demanding a higher price at the airport, after we had arrived. Even after months of travel, I was still never quite sure what to do in these situations, which occasionally arose. Given the increased charge that the driver demanded was little more than 50c Canadian, it felt petty to argue over such a small amount. At the same time, the whole practice also felt dishonest, and I struggled with it in principle – particularly wondering in the back of my mind whether I was a target of arbitrary price increases because I was a woman travelling alone. Irritated but not wanting to argue, I grudgingly paid the full amount and headed into the airport to catch my flight to Hanoi.

After a short flight to the east, I touched down in Vietnam just as the sun was setting. Having secured my e-visa to the country in advance, I sailed through customs and into the arrivals hall, where I had pre-arranged an airport transfer to take me into the old town of the city. While I generally preferred to take public transit or hail a tuk-tuk when backpacking, I had become cautious with my transportation when arriving at airports after dark. From my research on Hanoi, I had heard that taxi scams are unfortunately common, where certain drivers are paid by hotels and hostels to drive unwitting passengers to the wrong location, or charge excessive fares, to the point where a passenger would need to go to an ATM, or pay in foreign currency. In the communication I had received in advance from my hostel in Hanoi, I had also been fully briefed on possible scams in transit, and chose to pre-pay for a transfer to avoid the worry. I had also purchased a new Vietnamese SIM card in the airport, so that I could ensure I could follow my route to the old town city.

As my ride pulled away from the airport, we were almost immediately surrounded by scooters – hundreds of them! Weaving in and out of traffic, the drivers leaned heavily on their horns as they navigated their scooters along the road - carrying everything from tall plants, flowers and produce, and sometimes up to 3-4 people! After the quiet atmosphere of Luang Prabang, where honking was rare in the old city centre, the streets of Hanoi were quite the opposite, bursting with sounds from every direction. Heading South, we crossed the Red River and approached the Old Quarter of the city.

As it happened, even with my pre-arranged airport transfer, my driver still tried to drop me off at the wrong hostel. Fortunately I had already located my correct destination in Hanoi on Google Maps, and after much back-and-forth, and insistence on my part, I was finally taken to the correct destination. The streets of the old quarter are so narrow that cars cannot go down them, and I walked the final few minutes to my hostel on foot. I passed other hostels with live music, and food vendors with plastic stools arranged near their stalls for people to sit and eat. My friends from Vancouver, Kevin and Liane, had previously stayed at this hostel, Original Backpackers, a few years earlier, and recommended it highly – and rightly so! I felt immediately welcomed by the friendly staff, and began to relax again after many hours in transit. After several weeks of communal living, I had decided to pay a small premium for a private room, where I had a long, hot shower, before crashing immediately for the night.

Typical Food Stalls in the Old Quarter

Narrow Streets in the Old Quarter, with a perfectly placed photobomber!

Day 166 – Hanoi

I only had one full day in Hanoi – and woke up early, determined to pack in as much as possible! Through the front desk of my hostel, I arranged a motorbike “Backstreet Tour” for that afternoon, where a local Vietnamese guide would take me around the city on a motorbike to show me both popular sites, and what day-to-day life looked like in Hanoi.

In the morning, I began to wander the Old Quarter of Hanoi nearby to my hostel. This historic city has been inhabited for over a thousand years, and has been shaped by a complex history – from ancient kingdoms, dynasties and wars, French colonialism, Japanese occupation during the second world war, to more recently, with the influences of communism and the Vietnam War. After the war ended in the 1970s, it wasn’t until 1990s that the country began to open up to the outside world again, bringing in new opportunities for tourism and economic development. Modern day Hanoi is home to a multi-cultural community with strong French, Chinese and Russian influences. French colonial architecture continues to be visible throughout the city, with some streets resembling historic neighbourhoods in Paris. Near the Old Quarter, a large gothic cathedral constructed by French still stands; St. Josephs is one of the first structures built by the colonialists as they expanded their reach into Southeast Asia. Remarkably, the cathedral is still in good condition despite  the wars of the last century.

The Old Quarter, part of a former citadel wall, is made up of a narrow series of alleys, tightly packed together. The historic area is known for its clusters of workshops, skilled craftsman, artisans and guilds, with the 40 streets of the area each named for the primary good and service provided on each street. It was a lively place to wander through in the morning; locals sat down on low, colourful plastic stools set up by street vendors, eating a breakfast of noodles. Honking scooters whizzed up and down the alleys, narrowing dodging each other. I spotted a few people playing chess in a doorway, right next to a vendor selling produce off the back of a scooter. I passed through one street mostly selling flowers, before turning the corner to find another street with almost all bamboo products. 

I wandered further east to Hoan Kiem Lake, finally making an attempt to cross a major street – with scooters, cars and pedestrians going in every which way! One good piece of advice I had been given by friends who had visited Hanoi was to simply walk out into traffic at a slow, steady pace (without any sudden moves or stops!) and the scooters would simply weave around you. I walked beside locals crossing on my first few attempts, but it wasn’t long before I got the hang of it!

I stopped at Note Coffee to try my first Vietnamese-style egg coffee. This drink is traditionally prepared by beating egg yolks with sugar and milk, and bringing this mixture to a boil, before pouring in coffee. The result is a foamy, dessert-like coffee – and was delicious! The café itself was also unusual – with its walls decorated with thousands upon thousands of colourful post-it notes, with messages from previous visitors. The result made the entire café look like a giant art installation, and reminded me of Yayoi Kusama’s dotted “obliteration room”. Sufficiently loaded up on sugar and caffeine, I continued onwards towards the lake, popping into a few art galleries and stalls on my way. Along the streets, I was constantly amazed by the number of vendors selling fruit, art, and countless other items off the back of their scooters. Pushing or driving their laden motorbike through the crowds, these vendors would make sales right, left and centre – all while keeping moving!

Arriving at the banks of Hoan Kiem Lake, I crossed a traditional, red wooden bridge to Ngoc Son Temple, located on a small island in the middle of the lake. Aside from the crowds of other tourists, it was a quiet respite from the buzz of the surrounding Old City of Hanoi.

As it was approaching noon, I returned to my hostel to meet Kien, my local guide for the afternoon motorbike tour. Slightly younger than me, Kien had grown up in Hanoi, and was excellent company for the afternoon. His motorbike was a vintage, army-green, “Minsk”, a heavy duty motorbike that was brought back from the Soviet Union in the 80s. As luck would have it – I was the only person on the tour that day, which allowed Kien to take me out and around the city for almost 7 hours! I could scarcely believe that I was able to see and experience so much of Hanoi in a day.

Kien first took me to Train Street, where twice a day a speeding train passes through the Old Quarter, mere feet from the front stoops of people’s homes. We continued onwards to Hanoi’s notorious black market, where vendors sell everything from car and mechanical parts to appliances, DVDs and electronics. Kien pointed out things as we cycled; the dense scramble of black electric wires overhead called “black noodles” by the locals; the French colonial architecture throughout the city; and the “tube houses” of the Old Quarter – narrow homes that exchanged their width for height and depth – as a way of lowering property tax, since the wider your house, the more you pay! Many of these tall, skinny homes had large water cannisters mounted on the top of the buildings, used to maintain water pressure. We also visited a few wet markets – where every imaginable item was for sale, from a rainbow of produce to live turtles, eels, and frogs.  

Train Street

Between our ventures into different areas of the city, Kien took me to many local restaurants and wet markets along the way, to try a wide range of different Vietnamese food, including more Ca Phe Trung (egg coffee), Banh Mi Chao (a hearty breakfast skillet), Banh Cuon (rice rolls, stuffed with pork), Pho Cuon (fresh beef rolls), Pho, and Banana Flower Salad. We also stopped at a tiny Bia Hoi right stand next to the road – “Bia Hoi” literally translating to “fresh beer”, and is draught beer that is sold on street corners and tiny bars throughout the city. It is delivered daily and is tapped straight out of a large steel barrel. Kien and I sat on tiny red plastic stools on the pavement, sipping the light beer and snacking on roasted peanuts from a nearby vendor.  

Fruit Markets

A typical neighbourhood Bia Hoi Stand

A particularly interesting part of the day is when Kien took me East of the city center to the banks of the Red River. I was able to walk along Cau Long Bien, a colonial-era cantilever bridge that was heavily bombarded during the Vietnam war, as it was a key point of connection between Hanoi and the nearby port. Spanning a mile and a half in length, it is still one of the longest cantilever truss bridges in the world. While only part of the original bridge still stands, the bridge continues to be a symbol of pride for the Vietnamese people. Underneath the Cau Long Bien, impoverished families live in a cluster of floating homes, make-shift shelters that have been built on rafts of plastic barrels.

Cau Long Bien 

Floating Homes on the Delta

We continued onwards to Bai Giua, or “Banana Island”, an island located in the middle of the Red River next to Hanoi. Since this island is on a flood plain, no apartments or concrete buildings are allowed, and the island is mostly used for farming, including fields of bananas and papayas. Kien maneouvered his motorcycle down a maze of dirt paths between the fields as we explored the island. Barking dogs sometimes came up to our motorcycle, and ran along next to us for a while, before dropping off the trail again. We passed by many farmers working in the fields, typically wearing a conical, straw hat, (called “Non La”) tied around the wearer’s chin with a piece of cloth. These multi-purpose hats not only protect farmers from the fierce tropical sun, but can be used as a fan and also as a basin for water.

As the sun began to set over the Red River, we headed back into Hanoi, and drove along the large, tree lined boulevards around the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum and the Presidential Palace. Our day ended with a bit of a surprise - as Kien’s motorcycle broke down in the middle of an intersection! Fortunately, this seemed to be a common-enough occurrence in Hanoi, and all the other bikes moved around us seamlessly as we tried to get off the road. All in a day’s adventure! Arriving back in the Old Quarter after a terrific day of exploring Hanoi, I quickly crashed for the night, as I would be waking up early the following morning to catch a bus into the Sapa Mountains, a day’s journey northwest of Hanoi.

[perspective-series]

Pet Perspective (12/19)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Injury, fears of death

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

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There were a lot of things that had gone wrong in Roman’s life- this was one of them.

To clarify, the escape had been going great. Roman had managed to make his way a full block away from the apartment before it even got dark, ducking through the underbrush and carefully timing his darts out in the open. He mostly stuck to front gardens, knowing it was more covered and less likely to be inspected without anybody out for gardening today. 

Down past the edge of the block, Roman had discovered an oak tree, with acorns scattered around the base. Not believing his luck, Roman also discovered a little stream of freshwater nearby as well. It was hardly a trickle to a human, but to Roman it meant everything. This could be the perfect place to set up a base, especially after he began to dig a small burrow beneath the tree roots.

Unfortunately, it was during this last task that Roman ran into trouble. He was digging long into the night, hard at work carving out a suitable home. The night made him tense; too many predators came out to prowl, looking for an easy meal. He wished he could finish faster, feeling like there were eyes on his back. 

Roman tensed, realizing that feeling had never been wrong. He turned, spotting the glowing yellow eyes peering at him through the darkness. As his eyes adjusted, Roman could see the shadowy figure’s tail swishing back and forth, ready to pounce.

“...crap.” Roman cursed, dashing over the tree root and towards the brambles. He knew he had no hope of outrunning a cat, but the coverage slowed the beast down long enough that he might have a change. The creature kept meowling incessantly, swiping its paws into the bush of his most recent hiding place and breaking off some of the branches.

“Go away, you furball!” Roman screeched, dodging out of the way just in time as the claws came for him again. At this rate the whole neighborhood would be woken up. Why couldn’t Kitty of Hell just give up the chase? Time dragged on, Roman’s adrenaline soon beginning to fade as he sluggishly repeated his actions, his dodges getting slower. How long had they been at this game of cat and borrower? Minutes? Hours? It was hard to tell; all Roman knew, was that unless something changed soon, he very well might lose this time. 

Lost in his thoughts, Roman was too slow and felt a sudden agonizing sensation rip through his right half as those wretched claws cut his arm and side. He yelled, shouting off every borrower curse he knew in the feline’s face, adrenaline spiked back up and he pressed himself further into the brambles that only irritated his wounds further.

 The sound of faint shout caught a man’s attention and he shone his phone light near the base of a tree. It was there he saw a cat, eagerly pawing at something. As a few words reached the man’s ears, he could only assume the cat was after an escaped borrower. He had come across a few in his time. Especially since he was one to take nightly walks like this.

 He shooed away the cat before kneeling down and using his phone to see if it was in fact a borrower or not.

Roman tensed, raising a hand to block out the light and noticing the human peering down at him. The borrower groaned, knowing there was no use running in this state but still feeling absolutely pathetic. He had only been gone a number of hours and was already caught again because of a stupid alley cat.

 “Well, how did a little thing like you get all the way out here?” The man spoke, reaching out and grabbing the borrower in a gentle fist. He noticed the collar right away. “And looks like someone might be missing you.”

Roman just glared at him, hating how he knew that might even be true. No, no it wasn’t… Virgil would have noticed he was missing by now. He was probably furious with him and never wanted to see Roman again.

 “Welp, let’s get you to the shelter so they can contact your owner.” The man said. Technically, the shelter wasn’t open but there was always someone there to take any found borrowers. The man entered and handed the borrower over before tipping his hat and leaving. The woman at the front looked the borrower over, looking closely at the collar and putting it in her notes to call it in the morning.

 “Well, looks like you got into quite the fight.” The woman mused, noticing the injuries.

“It was a stray cat.” Roman grumbled, knowing the shelter’s process by now. Hopefully that mangy calico didn’t have any sort of disease.

 The woman hummed and took Roman into the back real quick. She wasn’t the resident vet so all she could do was wrap the injury up to the best of her ability. “There we go, hopefully that will last until morning.” She then took him into the main area and set him up in his own cage. “Alright, we’ll call your owner in the morning.” And with that, she left.

Roman sunk to the floor, putting his head between his knees. It didn’t matter. None of this mattered. He knew Virgil would react the same as the others, getting pissed over the phone and disowning him on the spot. Nobody wanted a borrower who slipped away, it was a breach of trust and too much trouble. More specifically, nobody wanted him.

Why hadn’t he just stayed put? Virgil had been right, Roman had a good thing going there. Even if it was just a few days, Roman had fun. Maybe it was because he got away so fast that Roman still held the human in such a positive light (humans were often nicer the first week or so), but somehow Roman knew that on the list of ‘owners he didn’t completely despise’ Virgil had somehow wriggled his way to the top.

Roman didn’t know how to feel about that, especially since he would likely never see Virgil again.

------------------------------------------------

 Patton came down the stairs bright and early to see Virgil passed out on the couch. He frowned and already knew what Virgil had been up to for most, if not all, night. He sighed and decided to let Virgil sleep as he went into the kitchen.

 However, that was when Virgil’s phone went off, jarring him awake. He blinked down at the unfamiliar number before answering it. “‘Lo?” He said, still tired.

 “Is this Virgil Storm?” The voice asked.

 “Yeah, this is him. What’s this about?” If this was another scam thing…

 “I am Holly Beckett of the Borrower Shelter here in town and a borrower by the name of Roman was just dropped off here last night.” Virgil shot up, suddenly wide awake.

 “You have Roman?” As soon as he got the confirmation, he was already putting on his shoes. “I’ll be right there!” He exclaimed, wasting no time as he hung up and grabbed his keys.

 Patton, hearing Virgil yell, had come out of the kitchen. “Roman was found?”

 Virgil nodded. “I’ll be back.” He said before rushing out the door.

 Virgil burst through the shelter door, going up to the front desk as he panted. “I’m...Virgil Storm. I’m here for Roman.” He said through breaths.

 “Of course, he’s in there in cage A7.” She handed him the keys and Virgil took them before going into the room. His eyes landed on the cage-and Roman-almost immediately.

 “Roman!”

Roman jolted, painfully torn from his existential musing by a very familiar voice. He blinked, looking up and trying to comprehend what he was seeing. Virgil was here? 

But… oh god, this was a horrible thing, right? Roman had never had to face the consequences of his actions before. Virgil must be furious with him if he came all this way. Was he going to beat him up or something? Would the shelter let him do that? Probably, if he hadn’t been officially disowned yet. In his fear Roman scooted back, clutching the traitorous tag that had gotten him into this mess. It was always better on the times when he was recaptured after he had removed the collar.

 “Oh my gosh, you’re here! You’re okay.” Virgil fiddled with the lock before opening the door and gently grabbing Roman. He briefly held him to his chest, just taking a moment to calm his nerves and tell himself that Roman is okay. He’s here and he’s safe.

Roman let out a tense gasp of air, cringing as his injuries were jostled. His mind felt like it was short-circuiting, trying to figure out just what game Virgil was playing. Was he acting nice for the shelter workers? Was… was he going to actually take Roman back?

Oh, Roman was definitely in trouble.

 Virgil pulled Roman away, looking him over. His eyes widened when he got a good look at the mess of bandages. “What happened?” He asked softly, hovering a finger over it.

Roman grimaced. Great- now Virgil was going to make fun of him for not being able to take on a cat of all things. Cats were quite a formidable foe, but humans often saw them as cute little furballs rather than the demons Roman knew.

“A...cat found me first.” Roman was hesitant to explain, confused about how soft Virgil’s concern was; the shelter workers weren’t going to hear him at that volume.

 Virgil’s eyes widened. “A cat.” Virgil hissed out. That wasn’t good, especially if it had been a stray. He probably needed to set up an appointment with a vet…

 “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of that. Get you properly bandaged and looked at. But first, we’re going home, okay?” Virgil said, voice still gentle. But as his panic was leaving him, a new emotion was growing bigger. Betrayal. Roman had lied after all...and Virgil was a bit upset over it.

 But he could deal with that later. Right now, he just wanted to focus on getting Roman home.

“Seriously?” Roman said incredulously, a wave of surprise and fear overcoming him all at once. This had never happened before. Roman didn’t have a plan for this, and that made him very, very nervous.

 Virgil looked down at Roman and remembered back to what he had been told. “I told you Roman. The cycle ends here, with me. We’re going home.” And having a nice, long talk, Virgil thought as he started out of the shelter, nodding at the woman in the front before he left.

Roman felt such conflicting feelings inside his chest, his face turning ashen. There was a small spark of something positive in him, a little light beam that couldn’t help but be amazed that Virgil had told the truth. Virgil wanted him…. Of course, the fact that Virgil most likely wanted him back now so that Virgil could kill him was putting a bit of a damper on Roman’s revelation. 

What would Virgil do? Take away his things? Make him play games the way he loathed? Toss him around and taunt him about all the secrets he had so foolishly spilled? How was he ever going to escape again? Virgil would certainly become the world’s strictest owner, keeping Roman on a short leash. Oh geez, what if he really did get a leash? Roman hated those more than he hated collars because they put a direct limit on his freedom. 

And then, suppose Roman did get free. The second he ended up back at the shelter, Virgil would be there to pick him up and punish him again. Over and over. He knew now that Virgil was just as stubborn as himself, and though the cycle of new owners might have ended… a new cycle might be beginning.

 Virgil was silent the rest of the way home, holding Roman against his chest. He pushed the door open and noticed Patton and Logan sat down eating breakfast. Patton perked up when he saw Roman in Virgil’s hands. “Oh Roman! I’m so glad you’re okay.” Patton said, smiling softly.

 “For the most part.” Virgil said. “He got a little roughed up by a cat before he was found but he’ll be fine.” He explained. Patton’s eyes widened.

 “Oh, you poor kiddo…” He couldn’t imagine how terrifying that must have been.

Logan felt his back muscles tense, observing the way Roman’s eyes darted around similar to a caged animal. It was certainly apparent Roman was not happy to be here, despite the fact that leaving seemed to have resulted in injury.

 “Yeah.” Virgil agreed. “I’m gonna go upstairs.” He looked down and noticed the full breakfast Patton had made. He bit his lip. “Uh, could you-”

 “I’ll save you two some, don’t worry.” Patton grinned and Virgil sent him a grateful one in return.

 “Thanks Pat.” And with that, he walked up the stairs. He stopped by the bathroom to grab the first aid kit and then to his room. He shut the door behind him before gently setting Roman down.

 “Alright, first things first.” Virgil opened up the kit. “Let’s fix up that wound a bit better.”

“I- it’s fine.” Roman lied, playing with the edge of the bandage.

 “Come on, Roman.” Virgil sighed. He cut up a piece of gauze and took out the lotion. “We need to make sure it doesn’t get infected.”

“Pretty sure if it’s going to be infected, it already is.” Roman almost attempted humor. “Cat claws aren’t exactly sanitary.”

 Virgil frowned. “We’ll have to schedule a vet visit then.” He said more to himself. He reached forward and gently started undoing the bandages already around Roman.

Roman shuddered. A vet appointment? He loathed the vet. It was always so demeaning, with the veterinarians just forcing him to do things instead of asking him to move himself. And whenever something was wrong the humans would just discuss it over his head like he wasn’t even there, not letting Roman have a say in his own health.

 Virgil discarded the old bandages before placing a dab of the ointment on his finger. “Okay, this might sting a little.” He warned before gently applying it to Roman’s side.

“Ow!” Roman jerked away from the touch with a hiss. “You said a little.”

 Virgil winced. “Sorry, sorry but I’ve gotten rub this in.” He said, doing just that. “There, now just gotta bandage you back up.” He took the gauze he cut up and started to wrap it around Roman.

Roman expected the bandages to be pulled taunt, a clear indicator of Virgil’s wrath. He sucked in his breath, preparing, and was surprised when the bandages were applied almost delicately. Clearly, whatever Virgil wanted with him, Roman still had to be in good health. Not exactly the brightest of thoughts.

 “All done.” Virgil said, taking his hands away. The bandages stayed in place and he then busied himself with putting everything away and closing the first aid kit. 

 He turned to look at Roman, a mixture of feelings coming up now that he was no longer distracted. He took in a deep breath. “Roman...we need to talk about this.”

Uh oh. Roman shifted on his feet, trying to decide if it was better or worse to look Virgil in the eye. He felt like a coward when he looked away so Roman forced himself to meet Virgil’s gaze, deciding that this was definitely worse. He tried to make out what was happening in the human’s head, but the eyes gave no hints.

 “I just...I don’t understand. I-I thought we were bonding. Having fun. Was that all just an act? Were you just lying to me? Was everything you told me a lie?” Virgil asked, his feelings rising with each question until he was pulling at his hair as he desperately looked at Roman for the answers.

“No!” Roman shrunk in on himself, feeling scared and guilty and confused. “No, I assure you, I was not lying. Wait, that’s a lie, because I was lying about the promising to not escape...obviously.”

 Well, Virgil was glad that everything else was true, like Roman’s past. But he still had questions. “...Why? I thought we were doing better. I thought…” Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “I thought we were getting along.”

“Well, ah, we… were, I suppose.” Roman rubbed the back of his neck. “In a way, at least. I was having fun, I’ll admit.”

 “Then why did you still escape.” Virgil asked softly. “I mean, do you know how worried I was! I got maybe an hour of sleep last night because I spend the whole night looking for you!” Virgil exclaimed a bit louder than he probably should have this close to the borrower.

Roman frowned, confused by this new piece of information. He had definitely escaped too early, then, if Virgil was so concerned. Roman hadn’t let the appeal of a new borrower wear off. 

“I told you, I don’t want a ‘not-so-bad’ experience.” Roman huffed, crossing his arms and trying to ignore the pit in his stomach.

 “Well then tell me what I can do to make it great. Tell me how I can be better. I want you to be happy here, Roman. I...I want you to like me.” Virgil admitted, looking away. 

“I know!” Roman snapped, channeling all his confusing emotions into anger as he watched Virgil mope. This, at least, felt familiar. “I know you do, I get it, you’re one of the rare humans who actually cares about what I think, but you still don’t care about anything that matters! I don’t care who it’s with, I don’t want to be caged!” 

Roman grabbed at the tag of his collar, frustrated tears coming to his eyes. “I don’t want to be collared! I don’t want to be owned! I’m my own person with my own life and I’m sick and tired of humans making my decisions for me for your own selfish wants.”

 Virgil flinched back, looking back at Roman with wide eyes. He felt his heart beat fast as he furrowed his eyebrows and took in everything that Roman said. His words struck a chord in him and Virgil realized that...maybe he had known all along? And he had just ignored it?

 Virgil didn’t know what was worse.

 “Roman...I…” His voice trailed off. He had no idea what to say to something like that. “I...didn’t know…” Virgil winced. Yeah, that was the absolute wrong thing to say.

“Stop it.” Roman scowled, gesturing wildly to all of Virgil. “Stop...that. Why are you sulking? Stop playing around. I know you must be absolutely furious with me, so- so stop playing the victim and just get mad already.”

 Now Virgil was even more confused. “Roman...I’m not mad. I won’t lie and say I’m not upset but-but…” Virgil’s eyes widened as he seemed to realize what Roman was thinking. “Roman, I’m not going to punish you.”

“What?” Roman squinted, his heart still racing and his stomach still feeling like a rock. What was happening? Roman didn’t understand why he was feeling all these conflicting emotions, and it only made him more frustrated. Despite not wanting to be punished, Roman couldn’t help but press further. “Why not? Why am I… why’d you take me back, then?”

 Virgil sighed. “Because I really do want you Roman. I want you to have a good life and I don’t trust anyone else to give it to you. What? Even after everything I said before, you still thought I wouldn’t come back for you?”

Roman took a shuddering breath, cautiously wrapping his arms around his meager frame. “I… I mean, you would have said anything to calm me down. I haven’t known you for long, and I myself was lying about running. I had no reason to trust you, and it’s easy to make those claims. It’s another thing to actually act on them.”

 “I...I guess you do have a good point.” Virgil furrowed his brows again, deep in thought. “I suppose we...did just meet each other, huh? And, I’ve been acting like all this is normal and everything when it really isn’t…” Virgil let out a long sigh.

“Wait, like what’s all normal?” Roman’s face scrunched up in confusion.

 “This. You, being here. Living here. Being...trapped here.” Virgil looked down and shifted in his seat. “Having to act like someone you aren’t and hide your feelings because you’re scared something will happen to you…” He was starting to understand where Roman was coming from.

Roman froze, so caught off guard that he could only utter a single word. “...what?”

 Virgil looked at Roman sadly. “You’re right. You didn’t know me before you were forced to live here. Just like with all your other...owners. You’ve been forced to listen to me because I’m so much bigger than you and the world we live in deemed you...deemed you as pets.” He looked Roman over, his eyes catching the collar around Roman’s neck and he barked out a humorless laugh. “I even collared you...like some animal…”

“Yes?” Roman glanced down at the collar, before raising an eyebrow at Virgil. Had the human gone mad? He seemed to be teetering on the edge of hysterical. “Are you gloating or something?”

 Virgil shook his head. “No...just having a mental breakdown, but it’s fine. I think I needed this.” He took in a deep breath. “Roman...do you want me to take the collar off of you?” He offered.

“Why?” Roman asked, looking the human up and down with a wary eye. For one, Roman was still concerned for Virgil’s mental state. But for another, Roman didn’t particularly like the idea of being taunted with freedom when he knew the collar would just come back on.

 Virgil bit his lip, knowing Roman was still wary. Which, he had good reason to be. Virgil couldn’t blame him. He was suddenly struck with an earlier memory and well...it had worked that time. Maybe it would here too. “Because I’m going to burn it.”

[astrodances]

May I please request Donald and Gyro staring in Wed me from the meme? Fake marriage please as I am a sucker for that trope.

Hi anon! I’m so sorry this took so long, only for it to be this silly. And since last year’s duck bomb happened and we got Della’s canon return to Earth and Donald going to the moon, this is completely AU. Still, I hope you enjoy!

AO3 link here!

__________

Sweet Hearts

Gyro’s day had started out ordinarily enough––for him, anyway.

Wake up at his desk after another all-nighter, squawk at the clock when he realized how late––or early––in the morning it was, and automatically shuffle over to the coffee machine.

Then, back to being the world’s greatest inventor.

It was several hours later into his morning work that Gyro found himself making his usual trek to the vending machine on the ground floor for a pick-me-up Pep when he heard a chorus of voices climbing up the stairwell from across the garage. He didn’t think much of them, until they became clearer and he caught the last of one of their sentences.

“…flavors that you could pick from! Who in their right mind would choose black licorice first?!”

“I think it’s pretty good…”

Gyro barely registered the second voice as being Donald’s as he turned around and marched towards the group, ready to protest in defense of black licorice. It was the best flavor! Anyone who thought otherwise needed to get their taste buds checked.

“Are you out of your mind?!” he shouted as passed in front of Mr. McDuck’s limo towards the Duck-McDuck family, catching sight of his boss, Donald, and the rich nephews. “Black licorice is the greatest flavor, and I have the data to back it up! So you can just––Della?”

No wonder he hadn’t recognized the voice of the opposition––he hadn’t heard that voice in over ten years, when it was younger and so eager to explore where no duck had gone before. But there she was, standing in the feathers before him, one leg now metal and a spirit emboldened into her eyes: Della Duck was back.

“You’re back!” Gyro, in an uncharacteristic wave of joy, held out his arms, partly to welcome her home, and partly to beckon her closer to look her over for the sake of scientific curiosity. After all, even though he hadn’t known where she’d been specifically, she’d gone to space! This was definitely worth further study.

But his enthusiasm was halted in its footsteps.

“You.”

That new spirit he noticed before blazed into a fire, and suddenly Gyro found himself in the direct path of that infamous Duck temper that he hadn’t missed.

“I was stranded on the moon for ten years with nothing but black licorice OxyChew to keep me alive, thanks to you!”

His scientific curiosity took over for a brief second yet again. “Oh! You got to test OxyChew in the field? Tell me, how long did the––”

A furious squawk cut him off. Della lunged at him and gave chase, and he ran, dodging between the limo and employee vehicles and the garage’s support beams, until he finally weaved back to the family and clung to the shoulders of the first person he saw, swinging around to hide behind them and use them as a shield.

Gyro barely had time to take stock of just whom he had grabbed onto as Scrooge and the red nephew tried their best to hold Della back from tearing him to shreds, all her pent-up disgust of his favorite flavor coming to the surface. And then, what came out of his mouth next surprised even himself.

“N-Now, you wouldn’t harm your future brother-in-law, would you?”

Everyone froze, and Gyro could feel the shoulders of the person he was holding tense up––Donald’s.

“My what?”

“Her what?!” Donald echoed his sister.

The sentiment reverberated through the rest of the family and into Gyro’s mind, and he cursed himself. But if it had gotten Della to stop and think twice about killing him, well, he wasn’t going to backtrack any time soon.

Summoning a little more confidence with a clearing of his throat, Gyro straightened up and slid his arm casually around Donald, who was sending him looks of baffled confusion from the corner of his eye.

“That’s right! Donald and I are going to get married! Isn’t that right…sweetheart?” Gyro rocked into Donald’s side, trying to make them appear to be a happy couple. Before Donald could refute his claim, however, he cut him off. “Really, Della, you must have expected there to be some changes while you were gone.”

While he hadn’t meant that last statement as an attack, Della still appeared a bit caught off-guard, having to owe up to the reality of her absence. “Well, yeah, I suppose so… But this? You two are engaged?!” She gestured in disbelief to the two of them.

“What can I say?” Gyro laughed nervously, surprised the lie had gotten this far. “We bonded over our mutual love of black licorice, and the sparks just flew from there like a 75-watt bulb!”

Della stared them both down, suspicion mounting again. “Alright then, future brother, if you guys are getting hitched, I want to see the ring!” She started to reach for Donald’s left hand, but Gyro slipped his into it first.

“Oh, well, you know, I don’t wear my ring during work. Experiments and electricity and all that. One zap from the wrong conductor coil and then we’ll really have sparks flying!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Della waved her hands about, now seemingly more invested, and pointed at her brother first, and then Gyro. “You proposed to him?!”

Realizing the error of his ways a second too soon, Gyro turned to Donald and squeezed his hand as a desperate plea, all while smiling in the hopes of appearing to be a happy couple. Donald, meanwhile, was slowly crushing the life force out of his hand.

The seconds seemed to drag on forever as Gyro became more and more convinced that Donald would break the façade, and would let Della continue her chase, and then splish! splash! boom! he’d be having to break his way back into his lab from the bottom of the bay.

Just when Gyro was about to fold under the pressure himself, Donald let out an inaudible sigh and plastered a nearly comical grin on his beak. “Indeed I did! I even wrote him a song and played the guitar for him and everything!”

Gyro tried to hide his wince at his partner’s own embellishment, knowing full well just how…unique Donald’s songs were, and instead nodded along like there wasn’t a doubt that he’d been swept off his feet. He even convinced himself to try to lean over to give Donald a peck on the cheek to really sell it, but one death-glare of don’t you dare… stopped him in his tracks.

A few more agonizing seconds passed as they waited for Della to buy it all, and when she finally did, Gyro found that he could breath again.

But just as soon as Della turned into a happy, congratulating sister for her twin, she turned to Gyro and pointed from her eyes to his. “Don’t think this means I won’t still have my eyes on you, Gearloose. You break my brother’s heart, and I’ll break your lab in half.”

Biting back his own comeback, Gyro swore, “I wouldn’t even dream of it!”

“Yeah, Della, we’re in love, and nothing’s gonna change that anytime soon!” At Donald’s own declaration, Gyro blushed and resisted sending a look of shock towards him. Donald then waved his family on, saying, “You guys go along. I just need to have a quick talk with my sweetheart.”

They both waved as sweetly as possible as the family boarded the elevator to the rest of the Money Bin, and once the floor indicator reached the fifth floor, Donald dropped Gyro’s hand and all pretenses and turned abruptly towards him.

“So, sweetheart,” he gritted through clenched teeth.

Gyro held up his hands in a thankful surrender and backed up a few steps for good measure, not wanting to get hit by the other infamous Duck temper. “Okay, okay. I panicked.”

“I’ll say.” Donald crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? You know how your sister can be!”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

A few awkward moments passed as the sense of danger eased out of the room, and Donald quietly admitted, “If anyone asked, I only went along with it because of love.”

Gyro sputtered, losing his sense of balance. There was the second time Donald had mentioned love between them, only now, no one else was around.

And yet when Donald caught sight of the flustered mess Gyro had become, he started laughing. “Love of black licorice, ha!”

As his fake partner-to-be carried on, Gyro collected himself, but still found his heart racing. He had that one coming, but even so…

Shaking off the thought, he conceded, “Fair enough, you deserved that one. But can I ask you for one more favor?”

Donald eyed him up and down, and, in a moment of good humor, said, “It can’t be as bad as what you just put me through, so…sure?”

Gyro nodded his gratitude and folded his hands behind his back, keeping his eyes on the pavement below him. “I know you’re going to have to explain to them all later on that it was all a scam and that we’re not really getting married, but can you wait for, say, a day?”

“I guess so. Why?”

“Because as soon as Della finds out, she’ll come after me again, and so I need to hide.”

After a moment’s consideration, Donald nodded his full agreement. “Smart idea. Where are you going to hide?”

“The moon.”