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readfelice-blog · 6 years ago

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Moominland Chronicles achtzehn: Gran Torino

Hello, let’s just jump straight in shall we?

Oh, no wait, firstly, have a look at Colin Self’s Siblings (which is surprising and delightful in certain places, I’m only on my first listen though so havent got to its core yet.)

https://colinself.bandcamp.com/album/siblings

And something a bit more Italian for you, Franco Battiato, who was the essence that was channeled vicariously in the naming of LA LUCE AL BUIO,

-Un’ora Con…

….Makes for very interesting listening, there's a clangers track in there, though I’m not sure if that's what Franco was going for it definitely made me smile:

This is fetus (a track off the album but it's hard to source online so might be a spotify / google play search tbh) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd_59SCLlZY

Well then, Turin’s right nice.

I got a plane at 6:30 in the morning, the wing of the airport I was leaving from was closed when I got there.

This time I got a seat on the bus to get to the airport. My seat was directly in front of a mentally disturbed man who was walking up and down the aisle for the entire journey. He eventually got blocked in by other passengers boarding, he had a strange distant smile, I can't say it wasn’t disconcerting, but it was also curious and strangely beautiful.

He disappeared when we arrived at Tegel, I doubt he was getting a plane, though who knows, perhaps he was some fractured billionaire burnt out from all the money he was juggling.

After customs took their seats and sent me through the barriers I sat to wait for the cafe to open, wrote my diary: which is another thing im doing now, in case you're not content with one ��Felice’s tell all story’ - theres now a rawer instagram only version charting my journey through ‘восем acht ocho’ as well, its totally unedited bile and thoroughly embarrassing - I’m not re reading / editing it, but it’s the best way to keep track of all these publications being haphazardly launched around Central Europe.

The airline I was flying with was called Lauda, some subdivision of Ryanair, who I bought my ticket through, all the staff had Ryanair uniforms on and the plane was a Ryanair plane.

Last week I was a bit mad on death, I read Michel De Montaigne’s essay ‘To philosophize is to learn how to die’ and then put its message into practise - looking for and becoming acquainted with death wherever I went, envisioning it in the lamp light of darkened streets, the glass eyes of dolls and even under the toilet seat.

Lauda was death, a Ryanair flight would never crash, not in my mind, but a Lauda flight could….

We left Berlin in fine weather, we travelled to a sunless sky framed by thick blocks of grey. As we went along the turbulence was unbearable, I am not an easy flier, perhaps I've not done it enough, but also I’m riddled with anxiety before I even get in the sky, one small shake is ok, but a continuous rattle for 20 mins and the safety belt signs coming on whilst still mid journey does not fare well with me. I was utterly convinced at one point that it was the end of my relatively short but eventful time on earth and glad I’d written my last requests before I left, though much more scared than I wanted to be.

Breathe deep, it does work.

Just as we descended and the spectre of death rescinded I suddenly realised how incredible the view was outside my window and eagerly attended to the sight of clouds upon clouds, a dense celestial cacophony lit by the golden rays of the sun. We passed through this heavenly land, everything becoming hazy and disappearing into the fog of vapor.

When we landed the plane applauded the pilot, clearly I was not the only person on board so terrified that if I’d clenched my fists any tighter they’d have snapped off my wrists.

Our pilot deserved those claps, he flew us close to death but was strong enough to skim it rather than be sucked in.

The airport was the same as last year,

no wait no it wasn't because I flew to Milan

and then had two train rides to Torino (Turin), the second train was very pleasant, trains are nice in Italy, they have power ports under the seats and are 2 floors like double decker buses. I think some of them are like that in Germany to.

This year I was officially in Italy, joyfully attached to my window, taking in the edge of decay that skirted wonderful quaint yellow houses, one glass fronted building bursting out of another which contained hundreds of lamps in different shades and sizes. Studying the people, handsome and somehow and open, there was a vividness to their faces that arrested me.

And I was in Italy when I got off the train and walked on to the streets of Torino, it wasn’t Paris or Berlin or Helsinki or Cork, it wasn't the setting where I would be saved by a man I’d never met before.

It was captivating and full of heart.

Firstly, my ableton tote that held 3 publications needed attending to, I neatly veered towards Piazza Statuto, reputedly a potential gate to hell, this little trip would chart me walking from dark to light.

It was raining as I stood under the jagged rocks and mangled bodies of the Monument, I’d been panicking that the rain would ruin these labored over gifts , where would I leave them?? Not in toilets, especially not disgusting piss sprayed italian cafe toilets, they were worth more than that, as with much of my life I stepped back a little from this worry and just trusted that something would present itself.

A couple approached me after a short time of being stood in front of the gates of hell, they asked in Italian, then English, for me to take a photo of them, I talked myself down from chucking my parcel in their direction and then launching myself the opposite way. This turned out to be sensible, as the opportunity then presented itself, in the form of a thick tree stump, under the gaze of the tortured stone faces. It had once been a pair of trees, but now in the wet air of the afternoon, it was one tree and one monument of a tree, the remaining oak sheltering its lost compadre with thick branches still full of leaves.

They were off the beaten path, in truth I wondered if it would be found, the person that might spy it would have to be observant and sensitive: children would find it, but I don't want kids to find these books, there's some art smut not for children's eyes bound inside the covers.

The act of leaving this gift was much easier than I envisioned, it turns out you can do all sorts of things in plain sight and most people won’t even bat an eyelid, at least not in Torino that day.

I really like Italy now.

I left it, then I zipped off to a nearby cafe to have a cup of tea (coffee is to strong for my delicate disposition these days). Last year I spoke to no one for days, but after months of not being able to speak German in Germany, not being able to speak Italian in Italy wasn't quite such a big deal.

The cafes I visited remind me a bit of Amelie, who I couldn't find in Montmartre, she had somehow transferred herself to Torino.

This one was brightly lit, glass cases of cakes and thick sandwiches hugged the floor, then the bar followed round behind them, I blundered through asking for tea, was given a pot of water and a tray of teabags, i just took all the teabags unthinkingly and then considered the inadequate ratio of tea bags to water.

D’oh,

They were returned to the counter and I parked myself outside to start my diary.

When I went in to pay at the end I found out that it was the lady, on her own little island aside from the bar, nestled amid nik naks and sweets, who was the person i should give my money to. I chuckled a bit to myself for my lack of common sense, the staff had big smiles on, it was a happy place I left, it was a happy place I had entered.

Then to Piazza Castello, but via Dama art fair.

In the rain it suddenly struck me how incredibly sensible and kind all these covered footpaths were, graced by arches and gorgeous decorative embellishments, they sheltered the people of the city and provided ample space for outside seating, whatever the weather. Because, the people of Torino like to be outside even when they’re inside, lots of cafes have glass paneled structures adjacent to the main building, so you can always eat on the street.

I sidestepped the main street, a direct passage from dark to light, to go to Dama art fair, a smaller less commercial affair than Artissima, set inside a baroque palace. It announced itself calmly, no fanfare and the first room you entered was empty, aside from sound, then into a journey, maps stretched across the wall, details of the passage overhanging the main plots, drawings and observations, in monochrome.

Dama art fair was elegant, but not arrogant, against the gorgeously decadent furnishings and trimmings of the palaces rooms quiet art pieces, drawings and sculptures mainly, investigating and working with form, sat just ebbing and pulsating in the atmosphere of the surroundings they inhabited. On arrival upstairs, after dumbly staggering around a courtyard for about 15 mins with a wealthy and well dressed man and his companion, who were also very friendly.

He “Its the most secret art fair in the world”

Me “You have to work for your art”

On arrival you were greeted by ‘THE END’ : woven fabric around big wooden words hung from the ceiling between two large blue speakers.

“How do they know?” I wondered to myself - “How do they know that this is my ending, here in Torino?”

No sign of a beginning though, I guess I will find it somewhere else.

Then back out onto the street again and walking past high street shops to the Piazza Castello. On my straight line from dark to light.

I’m glad my bag is light, you don’t need much to travel.

It’s raining and overcast, but the Piazza Castello is opening up in front of me like a beacon of light, it’s not an angel that stands in its centre, which I expected to find, but a man, I feel like he's a logician, an academic, an emblem of reason and enquiry. I haven’t done my research because I like to work with impressions and weave my own kind of mysticism into what I find as I walk around, so I don’t know who he is.

The piazza is huge, on my left to horseback riders announce a big art gallery where curious visitors stand in bunches waiting to go inside, on my right are white fronted buildings, all majestic and grand, there is so much room to breath here. But where do I leave my publication? I circle the statue and then spy what looks like a plinth, a kind of chalice almost, I imagine it’s filled with the elixir of life but as I get closer I find it’s actually an ashtray, its covered though and as I take a turn about it I notice that the wise man in the centre of the square is pointed towards me.

It might be an ashtray but it’s the right place, I’m more confident this time as I prop my publication on its rim, take a photo and then walk away. I’m noticing though that I barely take in the surroundings I find when I’m doing this and then I get panicky and run away, I make a note to myself that after all this work I need to sit where I lay my gifts, I need to draw them and understand them, be able to describe them to myself for years to come. Quick photographs don’t give enough time to what I’m doing.

I then arch off and look for food, because I’m hungry. Lots of people seem to be gathering about a nearby pizza shop, like a chicken headed tourist I join the crowd, I’ve decided I’m allergic to lactose and wheat but hey, I’m on holiday, when you’re abroad your hysterias change.

I get myself a ‘Gran Torino’ and then I eat it there on the street, wrapped in paper, there’s a man sat down nearly opposite, the first homeless man I’ve seen here, we don’t interact but I pay him mind, I don’t want to make him invisible to suit my view. As I’m just stuffing the last of the delicious breaded cheese feast into my mouth I enter another cafe, pulled in by its ample outside seating and its corner position, I don’t want any more tea but they have freshly squeezed orange juice, yes please.

Whilst sat outside I am approached 3 times at my table, twice by Italians looking for somewhere to eat, who are very friendly when they find out I’m not Italian and go on their way cheerily. Once by a woman pushing a very young girl and braced little boy who very aggressively asks for money, her young son and her stand and shout at me for a few minutes whilst I refuse to give them anything then go off into the surrounding city, they shout in Italian and I think to myself that it’s probably not the best way to ask for charity, but maybe it works for them sometimes.

I’ve already experienced more interaction with people in a few short hours than I did in the 4 days I was here last, who am I this time? I’m not the same person that traipsed miserably up and down these streets 12 months ago.

Nowhere is this more profound than on my walk to my air bnb, the wet warm air and clouds hug incredible views down each street that I walk past, as I look to my left I can see the glorious green hills that surround the city, I can feel the magic that is rife here, and I notice the Italians going about their daily lives so full of energy and vitality. There’s a spring in my step every cm of the way that I walk.

My air bnb host is a superhost, I’d actually settled to stay alone but my trip was cancelled a little while before I went to Paris and her place was available, I’d taken it because I wouldn’t be alone, because even though my stay in Paris was not great I’d appreciated having someone there when I got to my accomodation and I’d wanted to repeat that more sensibly this time, with a private room rather than a sofa bed in common space.

The house is spotless, she is a compact and very handsome older woman, it feels safe, I feel like I’ve been here before. We can’t really communicate, she cant speak English and I can’t speak Italian, it’s frustrating but we manage somehow. I have my own private bathroom in this house and a little tidy bed with soft pillows that make me realise the one I have in my room at home is far to hard and unfriendly.

I have a nap, which I’ve promised myself since getting aboard the plane, I get into my pajamas and lie in bed for 3 hours, half awake. Whilst I’m spread out in my little bed I listen to the noise that surrounds me, the young family that live next door chatter and argue and laugh, the birdsong echoes outside my window, the sound of cars and the church bells fill my ears, they are resonant, like a chorus. I find my demons lurking inside me, but I just face them and then have a little stretch and turn over, we are a multitude of traumas and triumphs, not just one but several people and in order to rest we must be able to live with all these voices inside us, come to terms with them and pull them together to fight for us.

Because life isn't simple or easy all the time, no human is not inflicted at some point in their lives and it's very important when you face problems to be able to know who you are, so that you can love yourself whilst you receive the madness of the world.

I get up when it’s dark, thinking I’ll order a taxi to the AC Hotel, I shower and furnish my face with glitter, put on my blue velvet dress. I’m not excited, but it's what I must do and so I will go to the AC Hotel with my last publication stowed under my arm, to the garden where last time I had invested so much hope, though I know logically now that it's not the key to this trip, in some ways I’ve already lived what I came here for, but I must re walk these steps to release myself from the past and move forward.

I end up walking because buses and trams are to complicated and the taxi doesn’t come.

Before I get to the hotel I want to eat, the cafe I went to last time is closed but there is a gelato shop on the opposite side, with a hot pink table, totally empty. I’ve still not had any gelato in Italy and as I used to work in a gelato shop it's something I’d like to try.

Its an old couple that own the shop, I get the most gelato I possibly can: fior di latte, amaretto, pistachio, in a great big cone, I’m treating myself because I’m not drinking and I need the energy. Though I worry it’ll make me puff up I eat it enthusiastically at the hot pink table whilst looking out at the rainy streets of Lingotto, considering the other desserts in a glass case by the window.

I’m quite a sight tonight, in blue velvet and glitter, my red tousled hair brushing my shoulders, I can tell its made an impression on the owners of the shop, who buzz about, welcome a customer that seems like a friend, go about their lives surrounded by all these delicious sweets.

Once I’m done I consider leaving my last publication there as well, but think better of it, sling it over my shoulder and continue to the AC Hotel.

Everyone’s so good looking once I get inside the hotel, a smorgasbord of chic sportswear and chiselled faces, I don’t look anyone in the eye whose not a member or staff so I manage to kid myself that people are who they are not to suit my fantasies. I go upstairs to an ‘installation room’ which is some led lights and a person fiddling on a laptop, the room is filled with people socialising, I go downstairs to try and see if I can get into the secret rooms, but the hostess, after flirting for about 15 minutes and ignoring me, gleefully tells me there are no rooms left, except lust at 21:40, its 20:00 ish, I don’t know what I would do whilst waiting for that room and actually of all the rooms lust is not whats in my heart right now, I do think about just taking it to prove a point but really I’m not petty enough to sit in this place bored for over an hour waiting to go upstairs.

Clearly the secret rooms will remain secret to me.

I don’t get a drink because I don’t drink (alcohol).

I go to the garden, there’s a lot of people gathered around the door and I push through them to find space and to consider where to leave my publication, it's still raining.

This garden is not the Garden of Eden tonight, perhaps it never was, now its a concrete courtyard with a tree and some grass in the dipped area, and rain streaked white seats on the raised platform I’m standing on. It's not the Garden of Eden, its a hotel courtyard. Where do I put my publication?

Just past the crowd, behind a shrubbery, there's a window sill thats large enough to perch on, which is sheltered from the rain, it's quite hidden but it seems like the place. I sit in the cove and have a cigarette then I get out my book and place it where I’ve been sitting, take a photo and scamper off. The last of the 3 now placed in Torino.

After this is is a kaleidoscope of moments: wandering around a shopping centre, which is called 8, going up escalators to unravel the triple 8 scrawled on a door before me and see where the seeds were sown. The venue and Aphex twin and all his lasers, scurrying from room to room through intolerably long hallways to watch a myriad of vocalists, dancing about in various places, realising that the toilets were never that bad, as long as you manage to effect a good squatting position. Finding out that question marks are not always doorways that open to fantasies being realised.

I stand and wait for a taxi for an hour behind women with artist badges around their necks.

I Get home after a 20 minute detour because my taxi was invaded by impatient people.

I Sleep.

In the morning I wake up in good time despite not getting my full 8 hours (or anywhere close to this) I wander out and make tea, I try to talk to my host but it’s very difficult, though I’ve noticed the traces of her in the flat, the handmade lemon body wash, the single malts, the honey. Eventually after starting a note to her I just use the paper in my hand to write what I am saying, my London accent is always a problem wherever I go but she understands written English. This works:

“It took me 90 minutes to get home last night.

12:30 > I’m going to shower, my aeroplane is at 3:30 (15:30)

So hopefully I have time

I like to have a lot of time

Biggest stress

Lots of people don’t understand my accent because I mumble”

Me and my host have a strange connection, she is another angel, she sees my fragility and the sadness that sits at the basin of my eyes, she offers me food and shelter, I can feel her heart wrapping around me and giving me warmth. I go to sit outside and wait for my taxi 20 minutes in advance, she comes and brings a sock I’ve left in the flat, as we embrace its tight and full of love, not like the hug of strangers, like family. Later she tells me via email that I am always welcome, that I am a friend now and friends don’t have to pay to stay with her.

I will go back to that house and those church bells, though I can’t say exactly when.

My ride home is flawless, as I sit on the mezzanine over looking TXN airport, a beautiful well proportioned space where you can look out at the snow capped mountains, I listen to a man playing drukqs by aphex twin on the piano below me and I let go of Turin, of last year and all the residual pain that I brought here when I came before.

There’s no need for me to go back to that festival again, there’s other places and new journeys I must embark on.

I enter Turin a mangled and not very good musician, I leave Torino a curious and dignified artist, that sings. I let art return to me and realise it never really left, I will always be an artist whatever I do.

That's just me.

85 publications to go….

#aphex twin #torino #turin #travel #self growth #dama art fair #piazza castello #piazza statuto

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extremelyaverageincrediblynormal · 6 years ago

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I think its time to update this thing with everything that has been going on. A lot of beautiful things have happened the past 6 months, but when i look back, its a supercut of mental breakdowns and self harm. Surprisingly, i havent seriously thought about killing myself, but I am definitely putting a strain on my mental health, and i dont think i saw the signs until i was 4-5 months deep. until i was at the hospital. until i was crying in my work bathroom every day for 5 days. and even then, i still tried to keep telling myself if i give up, i am mentally weak. i still tell myself that know, as i try to get myself out of this situation. so lets explain the situation. I will try my best to go back to may and bring you up to speed.

I started working at this job... lets call it, the hellpit. I started in February, and they agreed to give me time off in april to go to japan. I was pretty happy about that, but i remember about a month and a half in, i seriously considered quitting, and that seemed early. I was annoyed at the lack of organization with the products we were selling, and the extra stress it put on the front of house employees. The job ITSELF wasnt so bad, it was simple tasks that were sometimes fun. But the customers were the worst. This is a private club, so we see the exact same people every single day, and i work in a half grab&go half diner. And we get treated like we are nothing. most of the time, we dont even get a “hi” or “thank you”, but we are required to smile and be polite, tell the customers to have a nice day. One girl got fired because she didnt smile enough and was kind of a quiet person. oops. But then i got my best friend hired, and i started enjoying my days a bit more. Japan gave me some perspective on life and i was running off that energy for about a month. I was also moving at the end of may so that took most of my focus. I was then asked to work in the poolside snack bar/ actual bar. I was excited, it sounded like a fun, fast-paced environment. I feel dissapointed writing that because I was so wrong. It makes me feel sad.

I would be working closer to the actual manager. Now, there is drama going on with that. there was 2 managers, R and C. R had been there for 13 years, had close relationships with the people in my workplace. she was even sister-in-laws with someone there. And then C comes in, and sees that there is a lot wrong with how the cafe is running. she wasnt totally wrong, but she has a large personality and isnt afraid to shit talk people. she came in and tried to change everything, and I dont know exactly what happened behind the scenes but R left on a 3 month stress leave, came back for 3 weeks and quit. If that doesnt tell you something about what it’s like to work along C, ive got more.

So this poolside hellbox was usually run by some other managers in the club, but C insisted on running it herself, putting her employees in it, etc. it was going to be the best year the poolside hellbox has ever seen. it was small, but it needed at least 3 people to run properly. Sure, it could be slow on cold days, but on hot days, it was a nightmare if there was only 2 people. Because we had to do everything; open, stock all the food, take orders, make orders, and pass them off, and close. it was truly exhausting and our days were always 9-10 hours, no breaks. She also stopped putting 3 people, brought it down to 2, usually 1. it was incredibly stressful. I tried to talk to her about my concerns, and she completely agreed. so i thought things would change. they did not. after some time, i injured my rotator cuff, and that lasted about a week until my entire back seized up and i had to go to the doctor. i was physically burnt out. and she had to work one of my shifts because i was medically ordered to take a break from work. writing this is making my back hurt.... funny how that works. anyways, i came back and she told me about how HARD of a day she had when she had to be in there for 6 hours. I thought to myself, good, she will finally understand. She never did. put me back in it, working 6 days a week, no tips, no breaks, 9 hours. there was a day where the air quality was so bad that my coworker with asthma expressed how ill the smoke makes him feel and that he cant breath, and she made sure he felt guilty for not telling her before hand. and then when we werent even making money that day, she blamed the people upstairs for not making the call to close it. i cant believe it.

the PSH finally closed for the year, but she wanted one more day to make a bunch of money. So there is another key player here. J. J has the title of supervisor but doesnt always act like it. C expresses how she feels about J often, and shes the only one who has the power to do something about it but does she? No.

So on this day, C is not at the Bad place, so in any other situation, J would be in charge. But C insisted that I text her and listen to what SHE said. and she said she wanted to open the PSH 2 hours early. J said it was too busy and we needed coverage. I listened to J. The fact that we didnt open 2 hours earlier really upset C. she was so mad at J for making that call, and i was upset that i was put in a position where i had no idea who to listen to.

So that was the day i decided i couldnt be there next summer. I needed to leave before the PSH opened again.

And since then, there has been a lot of hostility towards me. I remember C telling me that people might not like me because she likes me, and people dont like her. that should have been my first red flag to get the fuck out. I honestly thought she was a woman of her word, and that sticking with her was the right decision. she made me all these empty promises, like i’ll be getting a raise in September, or that she has big plans for me and my career there, or even that we were getting a company-paid night to reward us for all our hard work. and what has unfolded? nothing.

since then, it has been a series of bullshit. she comes down, yells at everyone and everything thats wrong, comments on how terrible the communication is, and how this doesnt look right, and how stupid everything is and how no one knows how to do their job, “except for you, this isnt directed towards you.” I have a feeling it may not be IN THAT MOMENT, but im sure it has been directed at me at some point. Shes manipulative, and takes advantage of people for her own personal gain, and completely lacks empathy. If it doesnt affect her, why does she care. If someone cant help her, why does she need them. that is her mentality, and she is a psycho. she wants complete control, but does nothing to change anything. She wants people to do certain things, but never tells them. She is by far, the worst manager i have ever had. not to mention she puts out the schedule thursday night-friday for the upcoming monday. so, yes, 3 days in advance. I feel betrayed, i feel disspointed, i feel burnt out.

She also made a sarcastic remark about how i could “never disappoint her”, which was the last straw for me. That was the day i decided i need to get out of there.

So, thats whats been going on at work, but behind the scenes, i have been unraveling. My manager has qualities that remind me of my mother, and not in a positive way. it’s very triggering in a way, and when i feel like i have disappointed her, i have the same feeling i would get when my mother would be disappointed in me. when she is completely unsympathetic to me being burnt out, i remember all the times my mom told me to stop feeling sorry for myself when i would cry. so i deal with daily triggers that i have a hard time shaking. there are also some things that go on in that club that really disturb my core values. I am a caring, inclusive person and these people treat us like dirt. I think most people are used to it, i even feel like im less sensitive to it as time goes by.

But i have been having mental breakdowns at least once a week. they were worse back in june or july, i remember completely trashing my room, throwing my books around and slamming my book case on the ground, and the colapsing and hyperventalating on the ground until my roommate found me. I remember scratching myself until i bled. I remember running to a park and crying in a field. I remember crying on the bathroom floor naked. I remember not being able to get out of bed. i remember punching a wall so hard i almost broke my fingers. this all happened withing 3 months. and after the big explosions came depression and giving up. I cry in the work bathroom often, i dont care about being on time, i dont care about my job, i dont care about my health or being in pain. i am in a constant fog, im exhausted and angry and i have a beautiful partner who loves me so much and i cant feel any of it, because i think i shut down everything so i can make it through the day. I’ve gained weight, i hate my body again, and i feel stuck. i feel ugly, i feel useless, i feel trapped. i need help. i need help getting out of this. i am so exhausted mentally, i do nothing with my day because im too tired. i am so incredibly miserable, i get those depression headaches every single day. I have a surgery coming up that i am not willing to compromise. maybe ill take some extra days off then? look for a job? rest my mind and prepare to job hunt and grind for a job that i might not hate? maybe i should leave now, go work at starbucks, see if i can get the time. maybe i should find a part time job, but will my manager hate me for it? does she already hate me for it? i just want to survive. i just dont want to get to the point where suicide feels like the only option again. I am not there yet, but its on the horizon, and that’s why i am scared.

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

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FA Cup third round: 10 ties to look out for this weekend

Ailing Bolton and Aston Villa ogle vulnerable at Eastleigh and Wycombe, Exeter v Liverpool retains its enticement amid TV meddling and Chelsea might just imagination their Cup chances

1) Eastleigh wave non-league flag against Bolton

Previously excellent known for subsisting leukaemia and subsequently being pecked to within an inch of their own lives by emus on Soccer AM while wearing a hair made from lettuce and cookies in the name of charity, Eastleighs young Welsh manager Chris Todd has every right to imagination his Hampshire slopes chances of advancing to the fourth round at the expense of Bolton Wanderers. The only non-league area left in the challenger, Eastleigh sit fourth in the Conference and have been bankrolled to the pitch of PS3m by their sugar daddy, Stewart Donald, in recent years. They figure the former QPR winger Lee Cook and the ex-Nottingham Forest defender Dan Harding among their ranks, two musicians who wont have come cheap. Of course Bolton Wanderers have abundance of Championship experience more, having played poorly enough in the schism this season to find themselves fastened to the bottom of the table as well as PS173m in debt, the subject of a winding-up order from HM Revenue and Customs, under a move embargo and resigned to the possibility of having to sell their best musicians during this January window. These are dark epoches at the Macron Stadium on and off the lurch, with makes good and staff members doubtful when or if they are able to next getting paid. With securing Championship survival almost certainly a priority for Neil Lennon and his musicians, Eastleigh love could be forgiven for being more expectant than hopeful of hitting them in the compact environs of the 5,192 -capacity Ten Acres and going into the move for round Four. Barry Glendenning

Sachin Nakrani: what on dirt has gone wrong at Bolton ? All the latest news from the Conference

Listen to the husk on the FA Cup

2) Senseless timing impairs famous night for Exeter

It ought to beggar belief that the powers that be have done their utmost to make an ordeal out of “the worlds largest” petitioning tie in a glean short of traditional Cup romance. But here “weve been”, and if it seems self-defeating that supporters of a competition whose lustre remains difficult to maintain are being actively inconvenienced then it is worth reminding ourselves that we should not be remotely surprised by now. It would be fascinating to hear the logic of the BBCs decision to move this fixture to 7.55 pm on a Friday night 90 hours after the last train of the day departs Exeter St Davids station for the 250 -mile journey to Liverpool but that is the capability broadcasters have. It is gonna be a fine date when their requirements are drawn up with half a thinking for matchgoing love such as the 1,347 away partisans who will nonetheless attain the journey. Liverpool shall not be required to be require too much assistance in disposing of League Two resists but asking them to fulfil this tie-up three days after a Tuesday night League Cup semi-final at Stoke City was surely not necessary, either.

None of this scold should, of course, detract from a famous party for Exeter City and their excellent director, Paul Tisdale. Their league form four consecutive overcomes does not bode well for a amaze but they might just have caught Jurgen Klopp, who had to recall the almost-forgotten Tiago Ilori from his loan at Aston Villa the coming week to partly offset a lack of available centre-backs, and his team at a good time. St James Park will be rocking a sight that should make good video. It is just a shame that little else seem to be concern. Nick Ames

Klopp to arena young, inexperienced Liverpool against Exeter Puzzle-loving Oakley establishes Exeter clues how to defeat Liverpool

Paul Tisdale: hats entertainment. Picture: ProSports/ REX/ Shutterstock

3) Aston Villa should go for transgressed to avoid a shock

This tie yells sicken louder than most and perhaps Remi Garde would be well advised to make good usage of an early opportunity to experience belt-and-braces life in the Football League. Wycombe Wanderers, sixth in League Two, are still some style from filling Aston Villa on a level playing field but Gareth Ainsworth has assembled an impressive area that they are able to hope to bounce back from a home overcome to Morecambe last weekend. In Garry Thompson and Paul Hayes, Ainsworth could plain a strikeforce with a combined age of 67, but Wycombe aim for a high-energy style and Villa boosters may as well hope their team have entered into a same flavour of things. It has all been downhill since Theo Walcott opened the tallying for Arsenal in the 40 th instant of last seasons final; even if Wembley supports a few chastening recognitions, any pause from the weekly grind will seem like a comfort at the moment. History should encourage them to go for purposes: Villa obligated League Cup visits to Adams Park in 2003 and 2005, winning 5-0 and improbably 8-3. NA

Cole completes free convey to Coventry City from Aston Villa Garde craves Arsenals Debuchy to join Aston Villa

4) Resting players has burnt Allardyce in the past

The holders get their recent defence of the accolade underway and they do so in the knowledge that Sam Allardyce and Sunderland are not especially fixated on the booty. Allardyce has had a particularly chatty week but his decrees about the FA Cup dedicated pause for imagine. Of direction Im going to make changes, said Allardyce, pointing to the fact that Sunderland will play Swansea City on Wednesday as part of a full conference curriculum. If the Premier League decides to made a stupid fixture midweek when they dont bloody need to, then I havent got much choice.

The Premier League would argue that it does vicious is a requirement to, with Euro 2016 among the factors truncating the domestic calendar, but Allardyce is far from incorrect and this regrettable segment of planning provides a ready-made excuse for directors in need of Premier League points to give their big musicians a weekend off. It would be wise for Sunderland devotees to prepare apprehensions even lower than usual, then, although Allardyce might recall that it does not ever pay to rest actors in anticipation of future troubles. Two years ago, the then-West Ham manager reached nine changes fielding the youngsters Seb Lletget, Dan Potts, Danny Whitehead, George Moncur and Callum Driver for a third-round knot at Nottingham Forest, with a League Cup semi-final first leg against Manchester City merely three days away. If a 5-0 defeat at the City Ground was not entirely unexpected; the 6-0 thumping when senior participates recalled at the Etihad was emphatically not part of the masterplan. NA

Allardyce ready to rebuild Sunderland around Defoe Wenger presents Arsenal injury update and rulers Sanchez out

Sorry, your browser is unable to play this video.

Sam Allardyce didnt “ve been meaning to” disturbed Jurgen Klopp video

5) A jam-packed residence could swell Oxford Uniteds hopes

Things are seeming up for Oxford United, who have sold out their 12,000 -capacity Kassam Stadium for only the third time in its 15 -year biography with the prospect of murderous a Premier League nose. Michael Appletons team are third in League Two and on route both for advertising and the very highest position in 15 times. The midfielders Kemar Roofe and Liam Sercombe have scored 19 league purposes between them and both in particular the former West Brom youngster Roofe are attracting envious gazes from abroad. Oxford parcels a punch but they find themselves stingy, very: they have confessed merely eight durations in 12 residence plays and Swansea City might have wished for the purposes of an easier assignment before next Wednesdays face-off with fellow relegation contenders Sunderland. The proclamation that Alan Curtis will stay on as director until the end of the season has provided a timely shot of stability( irrespective of what it might advocate about the past months search for Garry Monks replacement) but it has not been able to has become a astound if subconscious were elsewhere. The Kassam roar tends to drift out of the three-sided stadium and across the car park behind its open terminate, but perhaps it will be more audible than ever on Sunday lunchtime. NA

Napoli reject PS1 4.1 m Swansea bid for Italys Gabbiadini

6) Cureton eyeing chance to put Everton to sword

Dagenham& Redbridge have led a captivated life in the previous two rounds of this years FA Cup. Despite trailing 2-0 after only seven times of their first round replay against Morecambe, they acquired it into the second round where they again needed a replay , not to mention extra-time, to get past lowly Whitehawk from English footballs sixth tier. The League Two golf-clubs reward for these exertions is a trip-up to Goodison Park, where they will face an Everton team that have played twice since the Daggers lodged it to Exeter on 2 January, although it remains to be seen how many first team regulars Roberto Martinez battlegrounds pondering his crew has Premier League visits to Manchester City and Chelsea in the week ahead.

One Dagenham& Redbridge player unlikely to be phased by the prospect of lining up at Goodison Park is Jamie Cureton, even if, like most of his team-mates, the 40 -year-old has never played there before. In his 22 nd season as health professionals footballer at his 14 th guild, the striker actually obliged his professional debut for Norwich City against Everton in 1994, but has stated that, despite all those miles on the clock, this is the biggest FA Cup competitor of their own lives. There arent many grounds I havent played at and before the reap I was looking at that and thinking what a great draw Everton would be, he said. Its another one to cross off the listing. One could be forgiven for presuming Dagenham& Redbridge would have a better fortune of overpowering their Premier League opposition if they were entertaining them at Victoria Road, but having failed to prevail a single league game there all season they may well favor their chances of notching up win on the road. BG

Still back at Dagenham for challenging third stint as administrator Besic, the cultured scrapper which is able turn out to be an Everton masterpiece

Dagenham& Redbridge Ayo Obileyes( second privilege) celebrates scoring his backs third goal against Whitehawk. Image: Steve Paston/ PA

7) FA Cup can provide Chelsea with sole possibility of trophy

Imagine the fun that is likely to be had with this fixture a few short weeks ago. The Twitter memes, the archway observations studying whether Chelsea Chelsea, get onto? could pull off an almighty third-round upset. There is less to wisecrack about now: Chelsea have, at last, strung together a run of improved sort in the Premier League and their relentlessly efficient old-fashioned methods has the potential to be rendering under Guus Hiddink. With neither relegation nor a Champions League place seeming realistic, a concerted tilt at the FA Cup might regard particular appeal and it would certainly placed a few noses out of joint if, given their lucks thus far, Chelsea emerged from this season with one more award than many of their challengers. What hope, then, for Mark Robins Scunthorpe United, who inspect Stamford Bridge for the first time since a 3-1 third-round defeat in 2005? There is always Bradfords stupefying 4-2 succes last-place January, which in retrospect was a harbinger for the lack of care prevalent in the first half of Chelseas 2015 -1 6. Another reverse against League One rivals would appear unlikely, but Chelsea must still treat hurdles like this seriously if their convalescence is to gather tempo. NA

Costa and Oscar separated after Chelsea instructing struggle Win( residence) tickets to Chelsea v West Bromwich Albion

There were issues on the training ground between Oscar and Diego Costa. Photo: Stefan Wermuth/ Reuters

8) Spurs v Leicester City a prequel to a Premier League showdown

It is a foible of the fixture register that this meeting will be repeated a merely three days later, when Leicester City return to White Hart Lane if they meet any degree in leaving at all for a Premier League accord. And not just any Premier League equal: few could have predicted that these two would both be strongly involved in the name hasten at the seasons midway degree, so it remains to be seen whether Sundays meeting determines a bout of darknes puppetry or a full-scale removal of the gauntlets. Mauricio Pochettino has balk wholesale a difference in bowl contenders so far this expression, citing a better understanding of his actors fitness than in his first season, and if the league claim searches up for grabs it is also exhibition to say that any Premier League slope that considers the FA Cup diligently stands a decent likelihood of being honored, too.

Leicester will certainly end to some degree from the formula that has served them so spectacularly in recent months Jamie Vardy will miss out through injury and Claudio Ranieri is very likely to remained others to minimise the the opportunities of their minor stutter becoming anything worse and maybe lead more peril of overstretching through duel on multiple figureheads. One sure thing is that neither director will be interested in prolonging the argument: expect this one to be settled entertainingly on the working day, with the victor having sharpened their stomach by learning off a believable adversary for the trophy. NA

Riyad Mahrez: The Gallery Spurs on verge of signing teenager Shilow Tracey from Ebbsfleet

9) Big spending Derby County there to be shot at

Hartlepool United are currently in the end of a major stun last season when Blyth Spartans, of the Northern Premier League, beat them at Victoria Park in the second round. More of the same seemed on the cards when Salford City , non-league favorites du jour, travelled to the north-east in December but Ronnie Moores team narrowly persisted after a replay and can now are hoping to receiving antagonists whom there is rather less push to defeat.

Derby County are surely there to be shot at: the most recent signs of Nick Blackman and Abdoul Camara returned the Championship slopes spend on transmit fees alone this season up to around PS26m and they are leaving little to occasion in their quest of promotion to the Premier League. Their one-point advantage over third-placed Hull is not something Paul Clement and corporation will want to let slip after that various kinds of spend; Hartlepool, then, will be eager to capitalise if Derbys focus sways and in the 19 -year-old midfielder Brad Walker they have a knack who is surely not much longer for the lower reachings of League Two. The home unit will need a significant improvement on their recent formation, though. They have lost their last four league plays and the danger is that Derby bankrolled by Mel Morris, whose companionship, King, developed the Candy Crush video game will resemble minors in a sweet store. NA

Karanka and Clement, the former Madrid No2s, share No1 target

Scott Fenwick employs Hartlepool ahead in additional time against Salford, helping them on their channel to a third-round meeting with Derby. Photo: Alex Livesey/ Getty Images

10) Championship competitors will have concentrated elsewhere

The money they have invested already is a statement of intent; some of the summing-ups Championship squads are compensating are astronomical. So said Sean Dyche shortly before his Burnley team resumed life in the second rank following their relegation from the Premier League. He was speaking with particular reference to Middlesbrough and Derby County, which is now occupy first and second place in Championship, while his own Burnley team are reasonably positioned back in fifth, 10 points off the pace-setters. With so much money up for grabs just for being in the Premier League next season, its hard to thought anyone at Middlesbrough or Burnley holding even a single boo about the outcome of their competitor at the Riverside, as long as promotion is still a alternative. Any kind of FA Cup run for either team would be a distraction, but not by any means one that is welcome. BG

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beautyindisguise00 · 8 years ago

Text

I’ve been slacking - oops!

Thursday afternoon - may 25, 2017 @1:29pm

Would you immediately look for someone right after you broke up with your bf/gf? No, I’m sure I’d have a very hard time getting over that relationship

What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? probably Redds :)

Currently waiting on something/someone? waiting for a job!

Last time you painted your nails? it’s been a while. a few months probably

What was the last thing you watched on television? baby daddy

Is your shirt yellow? no, green!

What did you do last night? watched tv, went to the store, ate. nothing exciting

What woke you up this morning? my alarm.

Do you sleep naked? I usually have panties on if anything

What should you be doing right now? honestly, working. haha

On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you right now? honestly, probably a 5.5. I’m on summer break, no job, havent been doing much lately. pretty boring and lonely

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? in the education program on finished with my third year of college and with the guy I’ve had a crush on for about two years? hahaha. I knew I wanted it but I knew it was going to be hard work to get there

Does the person you have feelings for, start with B, L, D, or M? yessss

Are you currently looking for a significant other? nope, happily in a relationship

Do you have make-up on? nope!

Have you kissed anybody in the last four days? no because he’s 6 hours away

Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? oh yes. one of the best things ever.

The name of the last person you kissed, started with a J or an R, right? nope.

Are you taller than 5'7"? lol, I wish

Would you rather be called, “Honey” or “Baby”? baby but I’d rather be called babe.

The person you have the most feelings for, calls you right now. What do you do? talk to him :)

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? good question. haha. we stopped texting since this morning. he must be busy.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? absolutely

What do you say during awkward silences? hahaha. whatever I can think of to get out of the awkwardness

Your last kiss meant nothing to you, right? my kisses always mean something!

Next time you will get butterflies? uhh, not sure.

If you became a doctor, would you help your patients kill themselves? that’s a heavy question. I personally, wouldn’t. I know some people think that they’ll be better off because it’ll end their pain and suffering but I don’t know if I could be okay knowing that I helped someone kill themselves. tough question but maybe it’s different if I’m actually in that position.

When will you next see the last person you texted? would have been next week but turns out he isn’t coming anymore so now I’m not sure.

Name something funny that happened this week? today – I tried fitting a bike in my sedan so I could go biking at the beach on this beautiful day. haha. didn’t work. it was probably impossible but I kept trying and eventually gave up. lol.

Would you change anything about yourself if you could? my fitness

Do you get along with girls? most. haha

Do you put yourself before others? honestly depends on the situation

Do you like surprises? if it’s a good kind of surprise

Who’s the last person you had a deep meaningful conversation with? mhm, not sure.

Honestly, would you rather be with your boy/girlfriend right now? yessssss.

Do you wish someone would call you? yes.

Do you tell your best friend EVERYTHING? not everything.

If you’re single, why? not single

What were the last two movies you watched? Get out and Now you see me

Do you tend to fall for people easily? not really

Do you walk out of the house without makeup? if there’s not special occasion then yes

What is high school like for you? Or how was it? high school was my comfort zone. I knew who I was, what I was doing, and what I was going to do. it was also a very challenging time for me as well.

Are you shy or do you speak your mind? shy but I need to learn to speak my mind more – in a good way

Do you sleep with the door open or closed? closed

Were you single last summer? I was not

Have you ever sang in front of a large audience? yes but never by myself

Would you rather text or call? depends on who I’m talking to or what we’re talking about but in general - text

Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the worst? never really had my heart broken

What was going through your mind during your last kiss? I’m gonna miss him so much.

In the last 12 months can you say you truly cared about someone? definitely

Think of the last person you kissed, did that person ever unbutton your pants? yes

Do you like to cuddle? absolutely

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months? you betcha!

Are you excited for anything? doing fun stuff for the summer

Has someone ever made you a big promise and broke it? probably me

Let’s be honest, what does your last text say? - did you try to fit it (my bike) into your car? - yes

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? my boyfriend better! lol

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? sure

What’s something you really want right now, be honest? to be fit, to have a job, to be with my boyfriend, to do something fun.

Are you afraid of falling in love? was, not anymore – I love being in love!

Anything happen to you in the past month that made you really mad? no, just upset

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? my boyfriend

Do you drink water or soda more often? trying to go for water

Are any of your friends virgins? yes

Who are you dating? my boyfriend

What were you doing at midnight last night? hahahahaha. having fun with my boyfriend via facetime

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? over and over and over again if I could

Have you ever kissed “just a friend”? more like “more than a friend but not boyfriend yet” lol – my first kiss

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? no

How many piercings do you have? just your typical two

Do you have a tattoo? do not

I bet you miss somebody right now? I do :)

Can you commit to one person? absolutely!

#beautyindisguise00 #gettoknowme #q&a #survey

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

Text

FA Cup third round: 10 ties to look out for this weekend

Ailing Bolton and Aston Villa ogle vulnerable at Eastleigh and Wycombe, Exeter v Liverpool retains its enticement amid TV meddling and Chelsea might just imagination their Cup chances

1) Eastleigh wave non-league flag against Bolton

Sachin Nakrani: what on dirt has gone wrong at Bolton ? All the latest news from the Conference

Listen to the husk on the FA Cup

2) Senseless timing impairs famous night for Exeter

Klopp to arena young, inexperienced Liverpool against Exeter Puzzle-loving Oakley establishes Exeter clues how to defeat Liverpool

Paul Tisdale: hats entertainment. Picture: ProSports/ REX/ Shutterstock

3) Aston Villa should go for transgressed to avoid a shock

Cole completes free convey to Coventry City from Aston Villa Garde craves Arsenals Debuchy to join Aston Villa

4) Resting players has burnt Allardyce in the past

Allardyce ready to rebuild Sunderland around Defoe Wenger presents Arsenal injury update and rulers Sanchez out

Sorry, your browser is unable to play this video.

Sam Allardyce didnt “ve been meaning to” disturbed Jurgen Klopp video

5) A jam-packed residence could swell Oxford Uniteds hopes

Napoli reject PS1 4.1 m Swansea bid for Italys Gabbiadini

6) Cureton eyeing chance to put Everton to sword

Still back at Dagenham for challenging third stint as administrator Besic, the cultured scrapper which is able turn out to be an Everton masterpiece

Dagenham& Redbridge Ayo Obileyes( second privilege) celebrates scoring his backs third goal against Whitehawk. Image: Steve Paston/ PA

7) FA Cup can provide Chelsea with sole possibility of trophy

Costa and Oscar separated after Chelsea instructing struggle Win( residence) tickets to Chelsea v West Bromwich Albion

There were issues on the training ground between Oscar and Diego Costa. Photo: Stefan Wermuth/ Reuters

8) Spurs v Leicester City a prequel to a Premier League showdown

Riyad Mahrez: The Gallery Spurs on verge of signing teenager Shilow Tracey from Ebbsfleet

9) Big spending Derby County there to be shot at

Karanka and Clement, the former Madrid No2s, share No1 target

Scott Fenwick employs Hartlepool ahead in additional time against Salford, helping them on their channel to a third-round meeting with Derby. Photo: Alex Livesey/ Getty Images

10) Championship competitors will have concentrated elsewhere

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

Text

FA Cup third round: 10 ties to look out for this weekend

Ailing Bolton and Aston Villa ogle vulnerable at Eastleigh and Wycombe, Exeter v Liverpool retains its enticement amid TV meddling and Chelsea might just imagination their Cup chances

1) Eastleigh wave non-league flag against Bolton

Sachin Nakrani: what on dirt has gone wrong at Bolton ? All the latest news from the Conference

Listen to the husk on the FA Cup

2) Senseless timing impairs famous night for Exeter

Klopp to arena young, inexperienced Liverpool against Exeter Puzzle-loving Oakley establishes Exeter clues how to defeat Liverpool

Paul Tisdale: hats entertainment. Picture: ProSports/ REX/ Shutterstock

3) Aston Villa should go for transgressed to avoid a shock

Cole completes free convey to Coventry City from Aston Villa Garde craves Arsenals Debuchy to join Aston Villa

4) Resting players has burnt Allardyce in the past

Allardyce ready to rebuild Sunderland around Defoe Wenger presents Arsenal injury update and rulers Sanchez out

Sorry, your browser is unable to play this video.

Sam Allardyce didnt “ve been meaning to” disturbed Jurgen Klopp video

5) A jam-packed residence could swell Oxford Uniteds hopes

Napoli reject PS1 4.1 m Swansea bid for Italys Gabbiadini

6) Cureton eyeing chance to put Everton to sword

Still back at Dagenham for challenging third stint as administrator Besic, the cultured scrapper which is able turn out to be an Everton masterpiece

Dagenham& Redbridge Ayo Obileyes( second privilege) celebrates scoring his backs third goal against Whitehawk. Image: Steve Paston/ PA

7) FA Cup can provide Chelsea with sole possibility of trophy

Costa and Oscar separated after Chelsea instructing struggle Win( residence) tickets to Chelsea v West Bromwich Albion

There were issues on the training ground between Oscar and Diego Costa. Photo: Stefan Wermuth/ Reuters

8) Spurs v Leicester City a prequel to a Premier League showdown

Riyad Mahrez: The Gallery Spurs on verge of signing teenager Shilow Tracey from Ebbsfleet

9) Big spending Derby County there to be shot at

Karanka and Clement, the former Madrid No2s, share No1 target

Scott Fenwick employs Hartlepool ahead in additional time against Salford, helping them on their channel to a third-round meeting with Derby. Photo: Alex Livesey/ Getty Images

10) Championship competitors will have concentrated elsewhere

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#IFTTT #WordPress

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