cynicalundead

[cynicalundead]

I keep meeting transfem(me)s IRL who genuinely believe that transmasc erasure is a real problem and that we transmascs have it just as bad as they do. Today I spoke to a gal who actually thought transmascs have it worse. I responded to her that I believe everyone in the trans community shares a deep pain, beyond quantifying, that there's not really a hierarchy to our pain. There are so many amazing women out in the world who get it, who cherish and love us and feel our pain with us, just as we (transmascs) cherish and love them and feel their pain with them.

The haters and the division-mongers are the outlier. They're just louder in online spaces. Hate and division will always lose. Love and unity is the way forward.

[cynicalundead]

i've yet to see a transandrophobic trf who isnt also violently misogynistic towards any transfems who don't lick their boots

[cynicalundead]

"trans guy music is nothing but little softboys with ukuleles" I truly believe you people haven't listened to a single thing by Billy Tipton or The Cliks or Saahrg or Rocco Katastrophe or K's Choice or Schmekel or Ryan Cassata's heavier stuff or Resuscitate or Alright Gents or Nerva Puck or 2am Ricky or really listened to any transmasc person in general. Nice job infantilizing me though I hear the optics on that are great here. I also bet that Cavetown would call you a bitch

[cynicalundead]

I learned a lot today from Obviously Queer’s video essay “FEMME: Lesbian History, Identity, Politics and Invisibility” and femmebis’ “The “Lesbian-Only Term” Myth: A Comprehensive Historical Essay on ‘Butch’ and ‘Femme’ ”.

[cynicalundead]

I'm a trans woman. I'm used to the idea that TERFs will misgender me, call me an MRA, and say "men are inherently oppressors". This is textbook radfem nonsense.

Someone said these things to me today. But it wasn't a TERF, no. It was a non-binary user who claimed they were fighting against transmisogyny. However, they were overtly transphobic to trans men.

When I stepped in to defend trans men, they dropped the pretense of caring for trans women by misgendering me and calling me an MRA. Because that's the thing about people who hate trans men: They're transphobic. They can pretend to be trans-positive all they like, but their hated for minorities will eventually erode the facade. So stop tolerating any hatred of minorities, step in, and cut out these creeps as soon as possible.

[cynicalundead]

really not sure when it happened or why but personally I'm pissed that the queer community at large seems to have given up ground on the "people with penises/vulvas/testes/ovaries" language to sex & gender essentialists in exchange for the much less precise, much more demeaning "AGAB" language.

is it because you're scared of the word vulva? of acknowledging out loud that some people have penises? of recognising that many many people, including but certainly not limited to trans people, have mixed sex characteristics that cannot be accurately summarised by "afab/amab" as shorthand for "female/male"?

"in [GENITAL RELATED] situation AFABs will need to do X and AMABs will need to do Y" there are "afabs" with penises and "amabs" with vulvas. Saying this shit makes you look so unserious & honestly transphobic (given the ongoing erasure of post-op trans people within broader community). Intersex people and GRS have both existed for long enough (fucking forever and, decades, respectively) that we should well past making this basic fucking mistake.

quit referring to people by a vague & often violent event that happened at their birth as though it defines ANYTHING about how they & their body currently operate, and start using precise language so you at least look like you know what you're fucking talking about.

[cynicalundead]

I wonder how many radfems would cheer at the idea of a teenage boy getting beat to death for wolf whistling at a grown ass woman.

[cynicalundead]

my boyfriend read one of my poems yesterday. it was about how me and someone I cared deeply for didn't - couldn't - work out as a couple because he was straight and I was transmasc. so despite having cared for each other since we were teenagers, we let go of one another, because he would never be able to respect my identity as a transmasc while in a relationship with me.

and my boyfriend turned to me after reading the poem and with all seriousness said "I will always see you as a man."

the feeling of acceptance and relief at his simple affirmation was one I didn't know I needed. but he identified the insecurity buried in the poem easily, and without hesitation, extended a phrase and reassuring belief. it's so small, so simple, so bare minimum, but it's the kind of care and genuineness needed from a trans ally.

[cynicalundead]

[cynicalundead]

[cynicalundead]

this is going to be a generalized take, so please forgive me, but women are an underrated enforcer of femininity.

I’ve noticed this with hairdressers. multiple times I’ve gone to lady hairdressers and said “cut it all off,” and they’ve gone “hmm alright,” and basically just trimmed the split ends. meanwhile I can go to a dude and say “hey, can you make my hair slightly shorter?” and he’ll go “on it boss,” and shave me bald.

twice now, I’ve also had lady tattoo artists add pink to femme up a tattoo, despite that not being on the initial design.

god, also thinking about this brought back a memory. my mom once threw a fit because my shoes were “too masculine” (they were black women’s flats), saying that I’d upset my dad and ruin the formal event we were going to. I wore the shoes, my dad didn’t give a shit.

I dunno. it just feels like the misogyny is coming from inside the house sometimes.

[cynicalundead]

[cynicalundead]

"how do you tell the difference between a whippet and an italian greyhound" simple. look at it head on. if it looks like a dog it's a whippet. if it's making a face like you've just threatened it with a firearm, it's an iggy

[cynicalundead]

Musical memories

[cynicalundead]

Some of ya’ll hate trans men and act like its SOOO progressive because we’re men. And then your surprised when we’re uncomfortable around you.

[cynicalundead]

Nightcore

[cynicalundead]

Inspired by the cover art on the “Disassembly Required” song