#i have already made some adjustments to my muse list

[smartkookiee]

How to Lose A Guy in 30 Days! || Ch.3 — jjk.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ❥pairing: Jungkook x Reader (she/her, afab) ❥genre/rating: strangers to lovers, 18+ ❥chapter warnings/tags: software engineer!Jungkook, writer!Reader, fluff, 2000 rom com vibes, making out, flirting. drinking, swearing, crying, sweet pining Jungkook, Jungkooks past comes up (boooooo), ex situationship thingsss, its a sweet chapter and they make out and I love it, legit the easiest chapter I have written so far ❥word-count: 10.7k ❥Series Masterlist Previous Chapter ||❥|| Next chapter fic is cross posted to ao3 - send an ask or comment on post to be added to the tag list. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Day 3

“And you really believe this guy is going to work for this?” Yoongi said, looking over your notes and layout of the entire plan you had.

“Absolutely sir.” You nod. 

It was the Tuesday following you and Jungkook’s date. You two had gotten some dinner and then you went home. You tried not to let that text ruin your mood but it did bring you down for the meal. You and Jungkook just talked more about what you do and things you liked. Just easy conversation and sharing social media, small things that you could mask your disappointment with and give cheerful and in depth answers too. 

That text sucked to see. It sucked to see that he made this promise to be serious but he was just playing you.To be fair, you didn’t know him. It was your first date and he didn’t owe you anything. It would just make this easier. 

"Already past the first date. You’re jumping in head first," Yoongi mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "So, what’s next?"

"The plan is to keep things moving. I only have thirty days, so I wanted to start strong. The first date was just to break the ice. Now, I'm aiming to stay in touch throughout the weeks—get more annoying to make sure I stay on his radar." 

Yoongi chuckled. "And what does annoying entail in this case?"

You grinned, feeling a mischievous spark. "I was thinking some things like being a little too clingy. Getting a bit too personal too soon. Social media stalking, maybe even acting overly sensitive to anything he says about 'dating' or 'us.' Just... trying to inch my way into his daily life, so he can’t quite shake me off. Then next week I will take things to the next step."

Yoongi nodded in approval. "I like it. Thorough and unexpected, just what we want. Let’s round back around next week and check-in. We’ll go over your progress and adjust as needed. You’re off to a good start."

You gave him a grateful nod. "Thank you, sir."

With a wave of his hand, “Now go write, be amazing.” Yoongi dismissed you, and you returned to your desk, your mind already spinning with ideas. You were ready to dive into this full force, but there was one small snag, a small but persistent worry. You’d sent Jungkook a quick text yesterday, just a light “good morning” and a note about enjoying the date, but there hadn’t been a reply yet.

It wasn’t a big deal but already not responding to a text after a whole day was not sitting well with you.

Settling yourself down into your chair, that small disappointment from seeing that text on Jungkook's phone was still nagging at you. Your friends had warned you not to get attached, to keep things light, but you’d ignored them. They called this from a million miles away and you, like an idiot, let your guard down like always. 

Well, not this time. This was just a job. No more emotional slip-ups. 

“Damn it, I’m a writer,” you muttered under your breath. “This is just research. He’s just a random guy.”

With renewed determination, you opened your laptop, fingers flying across the keyboard as you drafted the first section of your article. Reliving the details of your first date, you kept it light and short because this wasn’t about how the first date went great, it’ll be about everything that happens now. You had your plan ready for action.

You were finally hitting a flow, words forming exactly as you wanted, when you heard footsteps stop just outside your cubicle. 

“Special delivery!” Ann, one of the front-desk clerks, appeared with a bright smile, holding a small bouquet. "Someone’s got an admirer!"

She set down a small bouquet of sunflowers. The choice of flower surprised you most of all, you loved sunflowers. They were tied together with a with a purple ribbon and card attached to the end. Opening it, “A little bit of sun for a rainy first date. Thank you for listening to my fish facts. JK.” 

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Ann cooed, lingering a moment to admire the flowers. She shot you a grin before heading back to the front, and you tried to keep your reaction composed.

You couldn't help but feel that small spark of joy, despite yourself, as you read the card. The sunflowers, your favorite, were unexpected and so charming. Tied with a cute ribbon that added a touch of thoughtfulness. You’d never been given flowers by anyone other than your parents and that one college boyfriend. Yet here they were, sent to your office, just for you.

If this had been any other situation, you’d probably be blushing and grinning like an idiot, falling head over heels way too fast. But the reminder of what you knew—what he was likely doing, the kind of guy he really was—kept you grounded. 

As you stared at the bouquet, lost in thought, the telltale squeak of a chair wheeling over caught your attention.

“Wow someone’s special.” Ronnie rolled right next to you. “Are those from who I think they are from?” 

 "Looks like it," You replied casually, flashing her the card. "Just… a little thank you gift."

Ronnie waggled her eyebrows. "Oh, just a thank you gift? The guy sent you your favorite flowers, after only one date. You sure you aren’t already planning your future house decor with him?"

Rolling your eyes, you turned back to your laptop, brushing off the teasing. "Maybe," But the flicker of disappointment crept back in. "If he hadn't got that text on our date. Then maybe this would be a sweet gesture. There's no way I'm getting attached to someone who’s probably chatting up another girl at the same time."

Ronnie gave you a skeptical look. "You still haven’t told me what it said, just that you went from mildly hopeful to permanently sour about him. Especially after you begged me and Jin to let you pick another guy before the date even ended."

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. "It was… friendly, if you know what I mean."

“Oh, friendly friendly?” she echoed, her voice heavy with implication. She winced sympathetically. "I’m sorry."

You shook your head, swiveling to face her. "No, no. We’re not doing the whole pity party thing. No look at Y/N she got fooled by another asshole again. This is work.  I knew what I was signing up for with this guy, and it’s why I chose him. I can handle it."

Ronnie raised her brows. "Yeah, sure. You sound totally fine."

“I am fine,” you insisted, forcing a smile. “It’s all part of the assignment, right? A totally detached, unbiased observation. Think of me as an objective researcher.”

“Okay Dr. Detachment. How are you going to respond to these?” Ronnie glanced down to the flowers and then back up to you. 

You opened your mouth to answer but paused, glancing at the flowers. You already knew what you wanted to do, but still… you weren’t quite sure how to play it yet. 

Meanwhile, across town, Jungkook was still buzzing from his own bold move. He and Hoseok were walking down the street on their lunch break, and Hoseok eyed him suspiciously. Jungkook filled him on the details with a little too much spring in his step, never the way Hoseok had ever seen Jungkook act after a date. 

“So… the date went that well, huh?” Hoseok finally asked, giving Jungkook a smirk. “You’re practically skipping.”

“Hey, I am not,” Jungkook grumbled, trying to keep his voice casual as he filled Hoseok in on the date. It had gone smoother than he’d expected, and he couldn’t ignore that spark of excitement. 

Jungkook had done a little social media stalking when he spent the day with his parents yesterday. You used a sunflower in your bio and in a lot of your posts, so he took a guess that they may have been your favorite flower. It did take him a little tracking down though, since sunflowers were going out of season. 

Hoseok grinned, giving Jungkook an approving nod. “So… flowers and a corny note? You’re going for gold.”

“Exactly,” Jungkook replied, a proud glint in his eyes. “I’m hoping she liked it. She’s into romantic movies and such so I thought it would be a good gesture.” Plus it was a perfect opening note since sending flowers is another classic romantic movie troup. “She should have gotten them by now.” He checked his phone yet again, his screen still frustratingly blank.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow to him, “Does it bother you that she’s not immediately giving you all of her attention.” 

Jungkook snorted, “No.” He paused but the silence between them hung a little too long for Hoseok to be convinced, “Okay maybe a little.” 

Hoseok let out a laugh, shaking his head with an amused grin. "Wow. Didn’t know you were secretly a heartthrob under all that cool indifference. Who are you, and what did you do with Jungkook?"

“Shut up,” Jungkook muttered, fighting a smile as he looked away. “I’m just… giving this a real shot.”

“And you’re stressing out over whether she liked your flowers or not,” Hoseok added, raising an eyebrow. “Must be a real first for you.”

Jungkook shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I just thought I’d make an effort, alright? ” He glanced at his phone again, his thumb hovering over the screen before he stuffed it back into his pocket.

“Why do I feel like the grand romantic gesture wasn’t entirely about the bet?” Hoseok chuckled, giving him a playful nudge.

“It’s not because I’m actually dating her remember?” Jungkook replied, a little too quickly, then caught himself. 

“You know,” Hoseok said, tilting his head, “there’s no law that says you can’t text her first, right? Might even make you seem… interested.”

Jungkook scoffed, his gaze glued to the sidewalk. “I don’t want to look desperate.”

“Dude, come on. Desperate is sending $50 sunflowers in November,” Hoseok replied, laughing as Jungkook scowled.

Jungkook sighed, but a faint smile tugged at his lips. “I just really enjoyed spending time with her. It’s different.”

“So shoot her a text, lover boy,” Hoseok urged, hit Jungkook lightly on the back of the head. “All the smooth moves in the world won’t matter if she doesn’t know you’re into her.”

Jungkook’s phone buzzed just as Hoseok delivered his advice, catching him off guard. He glanced down and saw your name on the screen. His eyes lit up, and a grin broke across his face—so wide and boyish that it almost unnerved Hoseok.

“Speak of the devil,” Jungkook muttered, barely containing his excitement.

“Well answer it.” He shoves his shoulder.

 Jungkook fumbles with his phone and steps off to the side to answer, “You’ve reached Sunflowers on the Go. How may I be of service?” 

You humm on the other end of the line in amusement, “So it’s the strangest thing. I got this delivery of sunflowers here on my desk but I don’t remember placing an order.” 

“Hmm, strange indeed,” Jungkook replied, grinning. “Turns out we only deliver to Composure magazine. No one else.”

What Jungkook wasn't aware of is you had him on speaker phone so Ronnie was also able to hear him. She brought her hand to her face at his cheesy responses. You also shook your head at absurdity. 

“Oh, is that so?” you teased. “Well, there was a little card attached… signed by someone named ‘JK.’”

“Yep, that’s the guy. Don’t know him personally, but he seems pretty cool,” Jungkook said, leaning into the joke. Looking over at Hoseok who was drawing hearts in the air around Jungkook, Jungkook just rolled his eyes.

“Hmmm, I don’t know anyone named ‘JK’. Guess I’ll just have to throw these away then.” You play with the ribbon in your fingers.

“Whoa, whoa, hey! That’s mean!” He protested, laughing. You laughed as well at his protest.

“Okay but seriously how did you know these were my favorite?” You touch one of the petals, sunflowers were definitely out of season so he had to go to some work to find really fresh ones. “Or was it just a lucky guess?”

“I may or may not have noticed a pattern on your socials.” His tone was sheepish and you just shook your head.

“Ah, so you were stalking me.” You nod, you notice Ronnie roll on over back to her desk. Coming back with her phone in hand. She was typing frantically.

“Maybe a little bit.” Jungkook let a beat pass, “I guess more importantly do you like them?” 

“They are very beautiful. Especially for this time of year.” You sigh, the gesture really was sweet. Might be fast for Jungkook to send flowers this early on but still sweet.

Jungkook let out a sigh he han’t realized he had even been holding in, “I do have to confess something. I was hoping this would make an opening for me to invite you to dinner.” He shifted from side to side, “Well I would be making dinner.”

“Inviting me over? Wow, bold move. So soon.” You smile, Ronnie giving you a knowing look and you brushing her off. “Would I have to do anything?”

“I will take care of it all, I need to or ove I can make a mean carbonara,” Hoseok gave Jungkook a look like he had no idea he had any cooking skill. “How about tonight?”

“I have plans tonight.” Which wasn’t a lie, you were going to work on some writing tonight. “How about Thursday?” 

“Perfect. You’re gonna be impressed, I already know it.” Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip. 

“I’m sure I will.” 

With some goodbyes you both hung up the phone. You could suddenly feel your heart racing in your chest and you mentally scolded yourself. You needed to remember none of this was long term. Which Ronnie was taking the lead in reminding you about.

“For someone who claims to be totally normal about all of this, you sure are smitten.” She crossed her arms and eyebrow raised observing you, “He totally knew these would work on you.” 

“I am totally normal about all of this. This is perfect, we are going on a second date and I get to start implementing my plan. Everything is on track.” You say but ash is looking back to her phone, “What are you looking at?”

“I’m trying to find his instagram.” She continued typing, not looking back up to you. 

“Oh he doesn’t have one.” You remembered from dinner on Sunday. It wasn’t abnormal for someone to not have one but Ronnie was surprised. 

“Boo, how am I supposed to dig up dirt on him?” Ash slumped down into her chair. You had actually done a little digging of your own the evening before though. 

“Pretty sure that’s my job and I already did. He has twitter but he doesn’t post often. He keeps a pretty low presence online so I wasn’t able to learn much that way.” You sigh, it was actually a little refreshing although it did leave you guessing. Makes it tough to be intrusive in the next steps of your plan. “By the way, can you cry on command?”

Ronnie raises an eyebrow at your request, “I don’t but I think we both know who might.” 

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Day 5

Thursday arrived, you and Jungkook spent the entire day texting back and forth just talking about whatever came to your minds. You found any excuse to ask him any random question. Send him random things you genuinely thought were funny. He also had something funny to say back or respond with. So you just let that be it, just texting and talking as much as possible. 

Jungkook had spent the night before doing a practice carbonara. Watching some guy on youtube walking him through the steps. It turned out pretty good but he knew he could make a better one tonight. He got really nice ingredients that hopefully would push it over the edge. He really wanted to make a good first impression with his cooking. He had no issue inviting you over so soon after knowing you, he felt really comfortable with you already. 

He hoped it wasn’t too forward, but you didn’t seem to mind. 

He had a bottle of mid tier white wine in his fridge and he also got a red because he wasn’t sure what you would prefer. He also wasn't sure what would pair better with a carbonara. Jungkook dressed his table up all nice, it was nothing special but a candle classes it up a little bit. Classic romantic things. It felt somewhat awkward and made him cringe but also no one else was around to see his effort but you, and you would appreciate it. 

Or at least he hoped you would. 

He then heard a knock from his front door. He thought it was a little early for you to be here but he didn’t mind, he still was making the food and he could pour you a glass while you waited. He trotted to his door, a wide grin on his face as he swung the door open with some gusto, only to have his features fall. 

“Channel?”Jungkook's face twisted into a confused but unamused expression, as she brushed past him into the apartment. “Please, come on in.” He said, his voice clearly sarcastic.

Channel looked like she was dressed for a night out and not for a very cold November evening at that. She had her hair curled and bouncy like it usually was, and the highest heel she could comfortably wear, clicking her way around Jungkook's apartment.

“I want my scarf back,” She had her arms crossed, strolling into the apartment with ease. She had been here enough times to know where everything was. “and since you won’t respond to my calls, here I am in person.”

“Okay, you couldn’t have texted me about this?” Jungkook let his front door close and followed after her through his apartment, as she tried to look under things and around furniture. 

She laughed bitterly, “Last I checked, you’ve been avoiding my texts as well.” She continued her hunt around his space. Jungkook getting a little peeved since he spent a good amount of time trying to make his space look good for your arrival. Your arrival which would be really soon and this was not a good look for a guy as you clocked as ‘unserious’.

"I kind of have a life, you know? I can’t answer every text you send.” Jungkook kept his eyes peeled for the scarf, more than ready for this encounter to end.

“Yeah, right.” Channel’s voice dripped with disbelief as she followed him further into the apartment, her arms crossed. “I could tell Hoseok was covering for you.” She paused mid-sentence, catching sight of the dining table set for two, a soft candle flickering in the center. Her expression turned suspicious. “And… what is that?”

Jungkook looked back to the table and then back to her, acting like it’s always looked like that. “Nothing, now where is that scarf?”

“Your place is so… spotless,” she murmured, her eyes scanning every corner of his living room, taking in the lit lamps, the neatly arranged coffee table, and the faint smell of food coming from the kitchen. “Setting a mood, are we?”

“I mean, I clean often. I’m not a slob,” he replied defensively, trying to wave off her assumptions, though he could see she was putting it all together, one detail at a time.

Channel sniffs the air for a moment and then stalks over to the kitchen, “You’re cooking? You don’t cook.”

“Whenever he hung out, cooking really wasn’t a part of the schedule.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, aware that he was pushing her buttons. “I cook all the time.” 

“Oh, I see,” She replied, her tone flat but her eyes flashing. She tilted her head, a cruel smile tugging at her lips. “So, who is she, then?” 

Jungkook sighed, not fighting her anymore, “no one, and she is coming over soon, let’s find your scarf so you can leave.” 

But Channel didn’t budge, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms tighter. 

“Oh no, no, no. You’re not brushing this off like that. Nice napkins, a candle? You set a damn table, Jungkook. What is this, some kind of date?” Her voice grew sharper with each word, anger and betrayal clear in her expression.

“That’s not really your business is it?” Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, he needed to get her out of here. 

Channel let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Not my business? You know what’s funny? All this time, I thought maybe we were building toward something real. And now, I see you’re doing that with someone else?” She scoffed, her face hardening. “What you just didn’t want this with me?”

Her words hung in the air, clear betrayal laced them. Him and Channel only had a sexual relationship, it’s what they agreed upon from the start. Sometime in there Channel developed some feelings for him and after a few months asked if they could take this more seriously. Jungkook wasn’t ready for that kind of step so they ended it all together. So now this all looks really bad. 

Except, he thought, it’s none of her business if he did change his mind. He never lied to her, and he was always very clear that he did not want a relationship. He really didn’t, and this thing with you, although a part of a bet, was something he was dipping his toes into. 

“Channel, that’s not it,” Jungkook said, sighing. “I never lied to you. I really didn’t want a relationship.” He hesitated, then finally admitted, “But I met someone, and…we’re trying things out and it’s brand new. So please leave.”

Channel’s face twisted in anger, her voice rising as she spat, “Oh, I get it.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, looking around his place with fresh resentment. “I bet you’ll dump her as soon as you’ve slept together a few more times. Because that’s what you do, Jungkook.”

He clenched his fists, frustrated but trying to stay calm. “You know, I’ve had enough of this,.” he said quietly, finally spotting the scarf stuffed into a seat cushion. He pulled it out, tossing it to her.

She caught it and threw it around her neck with a sneer. “So what is it about her, huh? What makes her so ‘special’ that suddenly you’re willing to commit?” She shot him a glare, stepping closer. “Maybe I should stick around and meet this one-of-a-kind woman. See what all the fuss is about.”

“No,” Jungkook said firmly, guiding her toward the door. “You’re leaving, now.”

She jerked away from his touch, folding her arms defiantly. “What? Is she coming soon?” Her eyes gleamed with spite. “You don’t want her to know what you’re really like?”

Jungkook let out a slow breath, gathering his patience. “No. I think she would be an adult and actually talk with me about it,” he replied, surprising himself with the honesty in his voice. “And whatever she finds out—that’s for me to tell her and her to decide. So, goodnight, Channel.”

She stared at him, anger simmering as she pulled open the door, glancing back with an icy glare. “Screw you, Jungkook.” With that, she stormed out, letting the door slam behind her.

At the same time she opened the door you were stepping out of the elevator and onto Jungkook’s floor. You spotted a girl storming down the hallway after yelling inside a doorway, as she passed you muttering a quick “Excuse me” without a second glance. You had an uneasy feeling about her, especially as she walked away from the very apartment number Jungkook had given you. You double-checked, confirming the number on your phone with the one she had just exited, and the sinking feeling intensified.

“Jesus Jungkook. At least have some class and spread out your dates so we don’t bump into each other in the hall.” You whisper under your breath, but you still had to go through with this as if you didn’t immediately feel a sense of dread. 

You took a steadying breath, willing yourself to ignore the uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. After all, you were here now, and nothing had technically happened to prove your suspicions. So you pushed them down, knocked on the door, and tried to keep your expression neutral, reminding yourself you were maybe a minute early—nothing too crazy.

The door opened after a brief pause, and Jungkook’s face shifted from guarded to bright relief when he saw you standing there. His lips curled into a wide, easy smile, like he was genuinely glad to see you. His hair was a little tousled, his shirt a snug, tucked into jeans that fit him perfectly, emphasizing his lean frame. He looked relaxed, casually put together, which was somehow infuriatingly charming.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice warm, stepping aside so you could enter. “Come on in.”

“Hi,” you replied, acting as if nothing felt off. 

You stepped past him, letting your eyes flick around the apartment, taking in the details—the tidy coffee table, a low hum of music playing through the room. He had a nice living room set up around a TV on the wall, the dining setup with an actual candle in the center. He’d put thought into this, that much was obvious. You couldn’t deny it was sweet, even if it left you slightly off-balance, considering what you’d walked past in the hallway moments ago.

“Okay now looking at it now, the candle maybe was a little cheesy.” Jungkook cringed at himself looking at the little set up. You shake your head and wave him off. 

“No, I think it's adorable. You even got a scentless one so it doesn’t cover the smell of the food.” You take a seat at the table, “I’m prepared to be wow’d like you promised me.” 

“I unfortunately got a little bit delayed so I am not quite done yet.” Jungkook was shuffling his way back into the kitchen, “But make yourself at home.”

“Okay.” You smile as he rounds his way back into his kitchen, he watches you get back up and walk around his living space. Almost like he was waiting for approval. Luckily Channel hadn’t trashed the place. 

You took note of all of the little things he chose to have on display, some books, a few polaroid cameras and some polaroid's on the walls, as well as a record collection that lined the side of the living room on some shelves. You thumbed through some of them to see what was available. Impressed with some of his picks, some similar to your own. His place wasn’t terribly big. Classic little bachelor pad. You had noticed he had chosen to keep what you could only assume was his bedroom door closed. 

It was something Jungkook thought way too hard about, if he left it open was it like saying he wanted to sleep with you tonight? Would it be way too forward? Or was closing it just as weird? Was closing it like telling you that he didn’t really want you in his space? He went back and forth and then opted to close it to maybe say he wasn’t expecting anything to happen, although he wouldn’t mind if it did. 

You on the other hand didn’t barely give it a thought other than noticing it. You picked up one of his polaroid cameras and brought it with you. You round your way back to his kitchen and stand off to the side watching him work. He was pretty zoned in on what he was doing, everything was really smelling great. You usually found it pretty hot if a guy could cook well. 

Jungkook took an opportunity to try some of his work and you took a photo right at the moment he took a bite, his eyes widened right at the moment he realized he'd been caught.

The picture came out and you set it down to develop. 

“I’m sure that will be super cute.” You laugh, setting down his camera as well. He laughs and you look over his shoulder to see how close he is to being done.

“Coming to inspect my work?” Jungkook glances to his side, seeing you peering over his shoulder to see what he was doing. He was almost done cooking. 

“Maybe.” You tease, “I’m a sucker for people who can cook. I’m just… okay at it.” 

“Well,” Jungkook stops what he is doing and reaches for a drawer next to him pulling out a fork and twirling some of the noodles onto it. Then holding the fork out to you. “I’m ready for your final score.”

You paused. Debating if you should eat the food off the fork or if you should take the fork. Would it send the wrong message if you ate off it? Or was that exactly what he was doing? The fork wasn’t very close to your mouth but not crazy far. You decided to just take the fork from him and take the bite. 

It ended up being really good carbonara. 

“Oh my god.” You smile chewing, “it’s really fucking good. Ten out of ten.” 

Jungkook did a small fist pump to himself, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth hiding a smile. “I’ll admit, I did a practice run yesterday and it was just okay but I’m glad this one is good.” Jungkook then taking a bite of it himself with another fork. Jungkook upon tasting his own food smacking his own forehead and leaning back. 

Causing you to laugh at his dramatic reaction. 

You glanced at the polaroid on the counter picking it up to see if it had developed yet, it wasn’t fully done but you could see mostly what the picture would look like. You showed it to Jungkook and he smiled, “Ten out of ten picture. Best one of me yet.” 

You looked at it and he did look like a deer caught in the headlights but it was funny, you set it down. 

“I’ll admit I’m wowed, to be fair I’ve only had carbonara like one other time.” You lean against one of his kitchen counters watching him as he plates the pasta for the two of you.

“I’ll still take the high praise. Now, should we do a white or a red wine?” 

“Hmm, a red works better with this I think.” You nod. 

Jungkook tells you where you can find his bottle opener and some glasses. You managed to get the cork screw into the cork but seem to be lacking the ability to actually pull the cork out of the bottle. Jungkook finds some amusement in watching your struggle but you persist. You’ve opened plenty of wine bottles in the past, this shouldn’t be difficult. 

“Having some trouble?” Jungkook watched you try and fail to pull the cork out a third time.

“Absolutely not. The cork and I are just having a disagreement.” You shake off your hand a few times and then get a better grip on the screw pulling upward as best you can. With some pathetic struggle, you really swear you can feel the cork moving. You let out a sigh as you let it go again. 

“May I?” 

“I swear I’m not that weak.” This honestly was just embarrassing at this point, so much so you have to face away from Jungkook at your next attempt. 

You make one final grip on the corkscrew and twist and tug, finally the corkscrew and cork pop free. Not before your hand comes straight, hard and fast, into your own face.

“Oh shit,” Jungkook’s face changes as he sees you basically punch your own face. “Are you okay?” 

You did dizzy yourself slightly but you set the bottle down. Feeling your face, hoping you hadn’t broken your nose although it certainly would be bruised or sore at least, “Okay maybe I should never open wine ever again.” 

Your nose than began to pulse with pain, this definitely wasn’t a part of your plan for sure. you covered it with one of your hands but Jungkook pulled it away. “Here let me look at it.”

“Please tell me it’s not bleeding.” You groan, and Jungkook places his hands on both of your cheeks looking at it. You match his face and he looks genuinely concerned. 

“Well, I’m not a doctor but you’re still pretty cute.” He then smiles and rubs one of his thumbs on your cheek. “That’s my professional assessment anyways.”

“Okay, but it still really hurts,” You say, letting your own hands rest on his wrists. 

“Hey, it’s probably just a bit sore—no blood, no bruise.” He gently tilts your head from side to side in a silly, exaggerated inspection that makes you giggle. 

It’s quiet between you both for a moment, Jungkook still holding your face. He just looks over your face for a moment, your nose was red but it was probably going to be okay. He had hurt his own nose a few times to know if it was broken. 

Jungkook’s hands still on your cheeks, eyes meeting as he studies your face. It’s easy to get lost in the warmth of his gaze and how close he is. A little too easy. For a second, you find yourself softening, tempted by the thought of leaning in and just letting yourself enjoy this. But then, just in time, you snap back to reality, realizing you can use this little mishap to your advantage. This damage to your nose might have actually opened up a window for what you had been working yourself up too.

You pull your face away from Jungkook and shake your head, breathing in a heavy breath. Jungkook looked a little confused but then after a moment you were crying. You were crying? 

“Hey,” he placed a hand on your shoulder, “I was just teasing you.” 

You wave your hands in a frantic show, your voice cracking just a little. “No, no, it’s not you. It’s just….” You let out a little sob. “I’m just so clumsy! And you made this beautiful dinner, and I’ve totally ruined it!”

Jungkook looks utterly bewildered now, glancing around as if the answer to your sudden breakdown might be hiding in his kitchen cabinets. “Really, I promise, you didn’t mess anything up. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, almost nervously.

“Ugh, I can't believe this. I’m totally ruining the mood.” You wipe your tears away. 

It was a good little performance. One that was planned.

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The evening before.

Day 04

“The art of crying on command.” Here you were again. Ronnie sitting next to you. Jin pacing back and forth with his notepad once again. Unfortunately for you, Jin was the person to have expertise on this subject being an acting teacher. 

“Okay I already regret this.” You try to stand up but Ronnie pulls you back down onto Jin’s couch. 

“This will help you!” Ronnie protested and leaned on you once you were settled back in. “This can be a part of your over dramatic persona you use.” 

“Exactly! It gives you another tool in the toolbox for the charade you signed up for!” Jin pointed at you with his pen and waving it around. 

“Fine, continue.” You wave for him to go on and Jin grins. 

“Thank you! Now, there are three main techniques for crying on command,” he begins, pacing dramatically. “Some people can just…do it. They snap their fingers and—bam! Tears.” He snaps his fingers for effect. “Others need to go to a sad memory. Something personal and emotional, something that really tugs at the heartstrings. And then, of course, some people have to resort to…ahem, creative methods. Pepper in the sinuses, maybe a little poke to the eye…”

“Let’s please avoid self-injury,” you interrupt dryly, giving him a look.

“Fair enough. Let’s start with the basics and see if you’re a natural,” Jin says, jotting a note on his pad. “Close your eyes, focus, and let’s see if you can will the tears into existence.”

You sit up straight, trying your best to summon tears on command, forcing your eyes to feel…sad? Your face contorts into what you hope is a tearful expression, but as you blink, nothing happens. Your eyes are as dry as ever.

“Nothing?” Jin sighs and makes a dramatic strike-through on his notepad, looking deeply disappointed.

“Yeah, sorry,” You mutter. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Jin strikes something out on his notepad and you roll your eyes at his dramatics. “Cannot cry on command. So let’s try a memory, or is there a movie scene you can’t think about because it gets you teared up?” 

You sit and think, you have some sad memories from your childhood that you bring to the front of your mind. Reminiscing on them, although some things are sad or bittersweet, nothing tear jerking. 

“Dry.” Ronnie leans over and looks closely in your eyes, so much so you have to shove her face away from you. 

“Dry.” Jin repeats and writes on his notepad. 

“Maybe try going to the dark place?” Ronnie snaps and looks at you. “You always get really teary eyed when you think about dying alone.”

“Okay rude.” You sigh, it wasn’t untrue. Whenever you came back from dates that were unsuccessful or you wasted your time on someone who just wanted something casual you found yourself going to, what you and Ronnie have deemed, the dark place. “I don’t like thinking about that.” 

“It’s for science!” Ronnie cheers, throwing her arms up like it's supposed to make it more fun or something. 

You groan, sinking deeper into the couch.  “I don’t know if this is such a great idea, honestly. When I start spiraling about my love life, it’s not exactly…mild.” You look down, already feeling a little prick of sadness starting to stir.

Jin comes and squats in front of you, “Well then just go to the edge of it and don’t think about the whole picture. What about dying alone usually gets you crying?” 

You think for a second, and finally, the words come out quietly. “I guess… I cry when I start thinking that maybe I won’t ever find someone who’s…just right for me.”

Ronnie lets out a soft “aww” and nudges you gently.

You let yourself feel it for a moment—the uncertainty, the nagging doubt that, maybe, you’ll keep hitting dead ends. And with that, you feel a familiar, bittersweet ache starting to well up.

Jin nods approvingly, seeing a slight glimmer in your eyes. “Excellent,” he says, jotting down, potential crying trigger identified.

The vulnerability hangs in the air, and you let yourself lean into it a little. Lately, it felt harder and harder to keep going on dates, to believe that love might work out someday. You always seemed to be either too much or not enough—loving too deeply, too slowly, too intensely. It left you feeling drained, to the point where dating felt less like romance and more like a chore.

But with Jungkook, for once, you’d felt...hopeful. Like there was someone who genuinely wanted to share a moment, who put effort into making sure you had a good time. As unintentional as it was, you’d started to feel a little spark, considering the circumstances of your forced meeting. But as soon as you’d started to believe it, you reminded yourself it was all part of the act. You couldn’t let yourself actually believe it. You got your hopes up again, and they were ripped out from under you… again. 

So you had slowly felt as time went on, you were losing sight of finding the one. 

Then without even realizing it, you had a few stray tears fall from your eyes. 

“Boom!” Jin erupted and sprang to his feet, “We have tears!”

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You gripped onto that feeling you let it force a few more tears out of your eyes. Unfortunately you did not avoid the personal injury part of the tears. So this was going really well for you. 

You take a shaky breath, letting a few more tears roll down, making sure the sniffle that follows sounds especially pitiful. “Maybe I should just go home,” you say, voice wavering. “This along with my day… it’s all just been too much. You probably think I’m completely insane.”

You manage to start walking toward the door. Jungkook then panics for a moment, how did we go from laughing at you injuring your nose to crying and saying you’re going home? He felt like he had jumped three steps or something. You start toward the front door but Jungkook stepped around you, stopping you. 

“Wait what?” Jungkook looked confused, “How did we get here? I don’t want you to leave.”

You sniff even louder, adding just the right amount of snotty dramatics. “No, I should. You barely know me, and here I am—an emotional wreck in your kitchen. It’s… it’s too much.”

“And? You just hit yourself in the nose really hard. I would be a little embarrassed and want to leave too.” Jungkook places a hand on your arm, trying to comfort you. “Besides isn't the whole point of going on dates to get to know each other better?”

“I guess.” You wipe your face again, “I don’t know… I didn’t mean to just… fall apart like this.”

Jungkook sighs a little relieved, that could have spiraled further. “And just so you know, I don’t think you’re crazy at all.”

“Well it’s still early, haven’t had a chance to go full blown crazy yet.” Which gets a laugh out of both you and Jungkook. 

“Well I can deal with that I think.” He gives you a small, reassuring smile. “Besides, food is still good. Wine is still out and last I checked a bruised nose doesn’t stop you from eating.” 

“Wait, is it actually bruising?” You reflexively go up to touch it, definitely tender to the touch and jungkook chuckles a little. 

“I’m teasing. It’s only a little red.” He takes your hand pulls you back into his apartment, with a little reluctance from you. “Stay, at least for a little while. I’m not going to let you walk out of here feeling like this.”

You blink up at him, playing up a hint of uncertainty, but inside, you’re genuinely a little taken aback. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do.” He tilts his head to the side trying to meet your eyes, that had been darting everywhere else out of real embarrassment. “Look, I don’t care if you cry, I’m the biggest cry baby I know!”

You manage a small, hesitant smile, as if he’s starting to get through to you. “I find that hard to believe.” 

Jungkook scoffs, feigning insult. “Oh, don’t underestimate me. Those ‘lost puppy finds his way home’ commercials? I’m done. I’m over here pretending there’s dust in my eyes.”

You laugh again, shaking your head. “Okay, maybe I believe you… just a little.”

“There we go!” He looks genuinely pleased, his expression softening as he sees you relax. “So, if I’m willing to admit my crybaby tendencies, it’s only fair you stick around for dinner, right?” He tucks his bottom lip into his mouth in anticipation of your answer. 

“Alright, I’ll stay.” You say it with an air of nonchalance, trying to mask the small spark of mischief hidden behind your agreement. It earns you a relieved, borderline triumphant smile from Jungkook.

“Phew! You’re sparing me from a whole night of wondering if my cooking scared you off for good.” He grins, his dramatic sigh punctuating his relief.

“Oh, please,” you say, rolling your eyes, feeling the perfect opening for a light jab. “If anything, the food is what convinced me to stay.”

Jungkook then serves dinner for the both of you. You both fall into easy conversation as you eat, he really did do a great job with the food. He was very considerate of making sure you needed anything else or pouring more wine when you wanted it. As well as making you laugh at almost every single turn. You really do get it why he got girls to go home with him so easily, between this and your first date the amount of confidence and charm that exudes from him is palpable in the air. 

Jungkook would never show it but his lack of practice with dating has actually made this date and your last the most nervous he as been in a while. Jungkook’s mind is racing, carefully cataloging every response you make, every laugh, every nod. He wants—needs—this to go well, not just because he’d prefer to win $300 rather than lose it, but because, in his gut, he actually likes seeing you here, across from him. He catches himself wondering if he’s oversharing when he starts a story, or if he’s going on too long when he recounts his last trip. When you laugh at one of his stupid jokes, he relaxes a bit, but he still can’t quite shake that uncertainty. 

You decided no more theatrics for the evening and let this play out naturally, how you would play out any other evening. Anything else would tip him off that maybe you were doing this on purpose. 

After a while the two of you had moved into the living room, you had been flipping through his records again, you didn’t take a chance to look at them all earlier. He had a decent collection for sure so you got a good sense of the type of music he liked. You both had a few glasses of wine now and so the conversation had turned more and more flirtatious. 

Noting the variety of music—jazz, a little classic rock, some alternative stuff. “You’ve got a good taste,” you say, glancing back at him. “This one,” you pull a record out with a slight smirk, “definitely says something about you.”

“Oh yeah?” He grins, leaning on the side of his couch as he watches you move around his shelves. “And what exactly does it say?”

You tilt your head, pretending to give it serious thought. “That you’re trying really hard to be cool. Just edgy enough.”

He laughs, though you notice he flushes slightly, brushing off your joke with a casual shrug. “Hey, everyone needs a little mystery. Or at least…a halfway-decent record collection.”

“Is that what you’re hiding?” you tease. “A mysterious vinyl collection? Or is it just your immense amount of fish facts?”

“Well, you’ll have to stick around to find out.” The words slip out before he can stop them, and he immediately kicks himself. It feels too... eager, a bit too close to something genuine. But he manages to recover, putting on a self-assured smile. “Not everyone gets to see my hidden jazz albums.”

You laugh, setting the record back and looking at him with a raised brow. “Guess I’ll have to consider myself lucky, then.” Finding a spot back on the couch with him. 

Jungkook shifted in his spot so his body was completely facing you now. With the alcohol having set in, his eyes were a little droopy and he was smiling but he looked boyish. He found the more he was learning about you the more he felt fine with telling you things about himself. 

“You look tired.” You poke his forehead. “Maybe I really should go.” 

“It’s barely even late.” Jungkook takes your hand, lacing your fingers with his. “I’m not tired at all.” 

“Your eyes tell a different story.” You laugh, leaning your head against the back of his couch. 

“Well what else are they saying?” He smirks, finding any reason to get a compliment from you. 

You stare at them for a minute, you were trying to come up with something clever. “Well if I am translating this right… I can’t handle my wine.”

You laugh and Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Wow how did you know?” 

“I have a thing for reading people.” You shrug. “What do mine say?”

He leans in really close looking between them. “Wow this guy is so hot and charming I really want to kiss him again,” Jungkook then gasps dramatically leaning away. “That’s scandalous, Y/N.”

“Shut up.” You laugh and get up from the couch trying to leave, Jungkook's hand pulling you back to standing in front of him. “You’re really full of yourself.”

“I’d like to think just a healthy amount.” He grins, Jungkook then places one of his hands on the back of your thigh. The warmth of his hand sends a shiver up your spine, but you do your best to keep your cool, not letting him see just how much his touch is affecting you.

You scoff with a half smile, “We’ll see about that.” 

Jungkooks grin widens sitting forward on his couch, both of his hands finding their way to your hips. Tracing small circles with his thumbs, making it impossible for you to think. The way he looks at you—intense, unflinching, like he’s trying to figure you out—has you second-guessing your plans  all over again, just for a second. This is what makes this hard, because the way he looks at you makes you believe every single word.

Many guys before have looked at you like this and you always fall for it, you always let yourself go for it. 

It’s a little difficult to remember that right now though, your mind clouded by the wine. 

You glance down to his lap for a moment then back up to his eyes that haven’t left yours. “Can I?” 

Jungkook just nods, allowing you to take your place on his lap. Lifting your legs to either side of his hips. Jungkook really was not intending for this night to go this way but he wasn’t complaining if it had. He found you incredibly hot and would do whatever you wanted. His hands stayed planted on your hips as you found what felt comfortable. 

“You’re pretty.” He smiles boyishly, he really did find you gorgeous and would tell you again and again if it wouldn’t be weird. The compliment makes you blush and hum. 

“You’re pretty too.” You lace your arms around his neck. Both of your faces coming so close together now. Breathes intermingling for a moment, asking the same question. “You were right though.” 

“About what?”

“I do want to kiss you again.” You catch the slight hitch in Jungkook's breath at your words, the way his fingers tighten on your hips, grounding you even as your heart races. His eyes flicker from your mouth to your eyes, searching your face as though he’s almost afraid this moment might slip away.

“I’m not one to protest.” Jungkook swallows for a moment, before you took no time to close the distance between you. Pressing your lips against his soft but certain. Jungkook immediately responds tilting his head to deepen it. One of Jungkook's hands sliding up your back to bring you closer to him. The moment makes you forget everything else, as you slide your tongue into his mouth. 

For a moment, you allow yourself to sink into it, into the surprising tenderness of his touch, the quiet intensity of his kiss. You move your hands to cup his face, relishing in how warm you are now. You felt your whole entire body heat up, and small wetness in between your legs. Oh this was not good, you cannot sleep with him this soon. 

Oh he probably knew exactly what he was doing though.

He would know exactly where to touch you and exactly how to make you moan and you had very little issues with wanting to let him do that. It would be so worth it, it would be so good. Except it cannot go past this, for your sanity at least. You needed to cut this off somehow, expect you kind of lead the night here. His tongue in your mouth was making it incredibly difficult to be logical. You could feel him probably already getting a semi and you really could not stop thinking about grinding on him. 

You needed to stop though. Because this is a great opportunity to drive in that wedge between the two of you. One more way to mess this situation ship up, but not ruin it completely.

As you pull away from him, leaving his lap, you mutter, “Okay… Goodnight.” You force yourself to stand, feigning nonchalance as you gather your things, even though every cell in your body is screaming at you to turn back around. Jungkook is left blinking at you, visibly caught off guard, his hands awkwardly suspended in the air where your hips just were. He clears his throat, collecting himself as he scrambles to follow you.

Clearing his throat. “Hey… um woah… was that not good or whatever?” 

You pick up some of your stuff into you arm, “It was it was good. It was great.” 

Oh god it was great, he was a really good kisser and your whole body was screaming at you to go back but you fought through. 

Jungkook was confused by your answer and shook his head, as he continued to follow you, “Did… did I misread something? Because I was getting a vibe.”

You glance over your shoulder and manage to flash a casual smile. “No, you didn’t misread anything. I just… don’t usually sleep with someone on the second date. Kind of a rule.” You bite your lip, keeping the truth of it hidden.

“Oh.” Jungkook nods, a look of relief mixed with mild confusion crossing his face as he adjusts his shirt. “Right, totally. Cool cool cool. That’s more than okay and Makes sense, makes sense… you should have said something.”

“It’s a bit of a mood killer to say ‘hey, by the way, you’re not getting any,’ don’t you think?” You raise an eyebrow, suppressing a grin.

You gather your things, amused by his honesty, and start toward the door. Jungkook trails behind you, letting out a small puff of air as he stares at the floor. Then, after a beat, he glances up with a sly grin. “So… just out of curiosity, not trying to be weird or anything, but what date number are we talking here? Fourth, fifth…?”

You can’t help but laugh at his question, knowing full well he has no idea you’re just messing with him. “Higher.”

He frowns, looking genuinely curious now. “Sixth?”

“Nope.”

“Seventh?” He leans in closer, eyes narrowed like he’s reading the answer off your face.

“Higher.”

“Okay, when do you usually?” 

You cross your arms, “Twelfth.” 

Jungkook’s face barely changes, but you can see his jaw tighten just a little as he processes this. “Twelve… dates,” he repeats slowly, nodding as if he’s mentally mapping it out. “I mean, sure. That’s totally reasonable. Not a problem.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised at his lack of pushback.

Yeah.” He shrugs, putting on a confident smile. “Guess I just have to plan ten more killer dates.”

“Uh huh. I’ll believe it when I see them.” Jungkook then opens the front door for you. 

“You're going to keep me on my toes aren’t you?” He watches you slowly step out the door with a wide grin on your face. He finds it cute and playful, he could tell you liked the chase. 

“Goodnight Jungkook.” You say in a sing song voice, giving him a flirtatious wave as you walk up the hallway to his elevator. 

Before you could get too far Jungkook decided to leave with just one last thing. Trotting up the hallway so he could catch you, taking your wrist and stopping you. “One last thing.” 

Jungkook places a hand on your cheek and then kisses you. It surprises you but you welcome him, its one of those kisses that is so passionate and it makes your knees want to buckle out from under you in response. He uses just a little bit of  tongue to send a shiver through your whole body, his hand warm against your cheek as he continues to kiss you just long enough to make you lose track of the hallway, the elevator, and everything else. 

When he finally pulls back, his eyes are twinkling with that trademark cockiness, but there’s something softer underneath, something that makes your heart do an unwelcome little flip. He grins, his hand lingering on your cheek for just a moment longer before letting go. “Goodnight.”

He goes back into his apartment as you retreat to the elevator. As you ride down, you let out a shaky breath, trying to process what just happened, and trying even harder to remind yourself why you’re supposed to be making him miserable. But as your lips still tingle from his kiss, you’re the one who is being thrown off balance now. This was continuing to prove to be difficult.

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Day 6

Jungkook is floating on air as he gets through his next work day. So much so Hoseok has taken notice of Jungkook's change in attitude. Really his whole attitude had been different all week. Not that he was particularly grumpy before or even usually in a bad mood, but he was in a good mood. 

It was Friday night, and the familiar hum of the weekend buzzed in the air as Jimin and Taehyung once again convinced Jungkook and Hoseok to come out for a night of fun. Jungkook had been hesitant, his thoughts lingering on you. He’d been so busy lately, and while the dates had been great, there was something about tonight that made him want to see what plans you had before fully committing to the night out. But eventually, he decided he should just go—time with his friends, after all, was good too. Plus, there was that whole bet to think about, and he had a chance to subtly show Jimin and Taehyung how smoothly things were going with you.

When Jungkook and Hoseok arrived at the booth, they were greeted with their usual boisterous energy. Taehyung raised his glass, grinning widely. “Look who it is!” he said, motioning to the empty seats. As they sat down, the drinks flowed easily, and the conversation began to buzz.

However, Jimin and Taehyung had something else on their minds—Jungkook’s unusually good mood. While their conversation about random topics picked up, they were both trying to pinpoint exactly what had changed in him.

“So,” Jimin leaned forward, his voice a bit more teasing than usual, “what’s going on with you tonight? You’ve been, like, way too chill. It’s freaking me out.”

Jungkook paused for a moment, a little taken aback by the sudden observation. “What do you mean?”

Jimin gestured at him with a mock-serious face, “You're usually the one trying to take the night to the next level. Trying to make things more interesting. Tonight, you're just sitting here, all calm, looking like you’re, I don’t know, at peace or something?”

Taehyung chuckled at the thought, leaning in with a grin. “Yeah, what happened to the Jungkook who was out here doing whatever it took to keep things fun and exciting? You usually make sure the whole night has a direction. Right now, you’re, like... engaged in our conversation about cyber-security. That’s... not you.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, trying to play it cool, but he could feel the pressure mounting. He knew his friends had caught on to something, but they didn’t know why he was acting different. “I’m just… having a good day,” he said, his voice light and casual. “Nothing wrong with that, right?”

Hoseok snorted next to him and Jungkook gave him a side eye. 

“You definitely would have gotten someone’s number by now but your eyes have been glued on us or on your phone this whole time.” Taehyung added on, which was usually true but Jungkook was glued to his phone. Hoping maybe he would see another text from you, secretly. Casually, in a totally normal way. 

“So what gives?” Jimin pokes Jungkook in the arm. 

“It’s nothing.” Jungkook shrugged and took a sip of his drink. 

Hoseok rolled his eyes, “It’s Y/N. The girl you set him up with for this stupid bet.” 

“Oh.” It all clicked into place for the both of them but it was still weird, “She totally see through your act yet?” 

Jungkook was caught off guard, the question cutting deeper than he expected. He shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “Actually,” he began, his voice softening, “no. We had a really nice date last night. There is nothing to see through, I’ve been completely genuine.”

“Oh, really?” Jimin raised a skeptical eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips.

Hoseok, who had been mostly observing, finally chimed in with a sigh. “He’s been in such a good mood about it all day, I’ve actually been avoiding him.”

Jungkook shot him a glare, nudging his arm. “So that’s why you were dodging me earlier?”

Hoseok shrugged, chuckling. “Sorry, man, I just couldn’t listen to you go on about Y/N again today.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, glancing back at Jimin and Taehyung. “You guys are acting like it’s such a big deal. It’s just… going well.”

Taehyung raised a skeptical brow, his tone a bit annoyed. “So, you’re hitting it off?”

Jungkook smirked, raising his glass. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

That earned a laugh from Jimin and Taehyung. “Yeah, right.” Jimin scoffed, shaking his head.

“All I’m saying,” Jungkook replied, his smirk widening, “is you two better get your wallets ready. In 24 days, you’re going to owe me big time.”

With a final grin, Jungkook set his glass down and excused himself, heading off to the bathroom. As soon as he was out of earshot, Jimin leaned closer to Hoseok, lowering his voice. “Okay, is it actually going well, or is he just messing with us?”

Hoseok took a sip of his drink, letting the suspense hang in the air for a moment before answering. “All I’ll say is… he sent flowers.”

Jimin’s jaw dropped, and Taehyung’s eyes widened. “Flowers?” They exchanged looks of disbelief, struggling to picture Jungkook—who hadn’t done more than text after a night out for years—sending flowers.

“What kind?” Taehyung asked, still dubious. “If they were just roses, it might’ve been for show.”

Hoseok gave an exasperated look. “Sunflowers. They’re her favorite.”

Jimin blinked in disbelief, his jaw still halfway dropped as he processed Hoseok's words. “Sunflowers?” he repeated, as if the specific flower choice made it even more surreal. “You’re telling me Jungkook not only sent flowers but remembered her favorite kind?”

Hoseok nodded, his expression one of mild amusement. “It’s like he’s on some kind of mission. Didn’t even blink when he mentioned it either—used it as his way to get the second date they had this week.”

Taehyung shook his head, laughing under his breath. “I don’t know who this new Jungkook is, but he’s full of surprises. Sunflowers? That’s not just impressive; that’s borderline romantic.”

“Borderline?” Jimin laughed, still trying to wrap his head around it. “He’s gone full-on romance novel, and for someone he’s been seeing for, what, a week? This has to be the longest he’s been interested in anyone, like, ever.”

Taehyung let out a low whistle, chewing on his lip as he processed the surprising information. “Damn. This is serious.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok said with a small smile, finding some pride in a changed Jungkook. “So he’s not wrong when he says you guys are going to owe him. He’s actually putting in the effort.”

Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a look, stunned but slightly impressed. Watching Jungkook send flowers, remember favorites, and put his best foot forward was new—and honestly? They both knew they might just end up eating their own words. Which made them think, was there a way for them to slow this down, make it come to a halt?

It wasn’t an insane amount of money for either of them to lose, but it was much more entertaining to see Jungkook lose. Was there something they could do to mess this up but in a non asshole way?

If they didn’t, Jungkook was going to win the bet, but it had already become much more a bet at this point for him.

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[ash-muses]

(OOC - Update #16)

Just in advance, my replies are coming out slower right now as I've had a really rough week. Please know that I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm just having a hard time right now and I'm sending out replies (DMs & RPs) when I can. ♡

Hi, everyone - I'm back! Thank you so much for your continued patience and support ♡

I'm really glad that I have so many people that enjoy writing with me and my version of Loki (and, hopefully going forward, my other muses as well!). I hope that you're all doing well; I've been trying to get back to the messages I had just before I went on hiatus, so if I missed anyone, I'm really sorry about that. >w<

I'm checking on the threads I have going, so please feel free to let me know if you're no longer interested in our thread or want to start new ones. I'll be going through my thread tracker again soon and posting that back up; the only reason it was taken down was so that I could redo my blog, which means I also have to change the thread links and such for the thread tracker. Hopefully, that will be added again soon and I'll make another update when I've rearranged some other things.

Below is a to-do list and changes that were already made (in case anyone is interested).

To-Do List, Daily:

* = main priority

* Respond to Tumblr messages (in progress; slow due to getting RP replies out & personal life at the moment)

To-Do List, General:

* Set up reminders for replies (in progress; looking for a good system that works for me)

* Redo tag directory, including new tags & hopefully reducing some of the tags I use (not started)

* Add muse info to Carrd (in progress, but slow; already completed Loki & my OC Adrian, and Tony Stark needs a few more adjustments before he's added; the goal is to add at least one muse for each fandom, that way I have a playable character in each one until I can finish all of their files)

Add FAQ to Carrd (not started; hopefully easy to do)

Create graphics for muses, including icon borders for replies, starter calls, etc. (in progress, but slow)

Create separate header promo (not started)

Work on GIFs project (in progress, but slow; need to rework some of the GIFs I posted using my previous watermark)

Already Done:

Checked in on old threads with partners

New promo has been added to my pinned posted

New reply icon borders for Loki & Adrian (OC)

Pinned post has been revamped (new information, cut and re-organized info, etc.)

Navigation has been fixed (links were still set for my previous blog name)

Carrd was designed & published

Pulled old threads from Drafts to get replies out

Scheduled out several responses to starters/asks || update was posted after they were already published

[dregdens]

while i am cleaning up this blog, i will also be going on a soft blocking spree! if you're interested in remaining mutuals, please give this a like!

[zipegs]

I’m back again with another rec list!! This time, I’ll be focusing on ostensibly lesser-known long fic—for my own organizational purposes, this means a word count of (approximately) 20k+. I will be including WIPs this time around, but they’ll be clearly indicated at such. Recs are divided into two categories—canonverse (including slight adjustments to it) and alternate universe. All fics are Hannigram unless otherwise noted. 

Please be sure to heed all archive tags and warnings! Hope you enjoy, and don’t forget to give the authors some love!!

Dolce Far Niente by @avegetariancannibal​ [E, 20k]

Hannibal and Will have many, many sweet things to say and do to each other.

Technically this is part of a series, but I found it reads perfectly well on its own! 20k of Will and Hannibal being soft, sappy, and incredibly in love post-fall. A little domestic fluff, a little vacationing, and a little smut—the holy trinity tbh.

The Fall, The Flood, The Flight - Hannigram by write_starlight_riots [T,  24k]

Hello! :]

This is mainly the manifestation of a very indulgent inspiration/daydream/thought experiment that seeks to explore what immediately-post-fall Hannigram would be like. And I mean /immediately/.

Also inspired by @/threadsoflacee on tumblr!

I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, sickfic, and vulnerability, and oh man does this fic deliver! The boys are hanging on for dear life as they fight to take care of each other’s wounds while struggling through their own. Both of them are absolutely hamstrung by their injuries in the most delicious ways, and we also get some wonderful ~feelings~ drama and realizations mixed in with it all. Very visceral and desperate in the best of ways.

Io by cuspid [M, 24k]  * WIP

"You look tired, Will. Why don't you rest? I promise I'll wake you if anything should happen." "It's already happening," Will said, and Hannibal's smile widened.

On the way to the cliff house, Will begins to feel unwell.

SUCH an amazing A/B/O AU! Will presents as omega and goes into his first heat while he and Hannibal are driving to the cliff house. cuspid’s writing is STUNNING, and I’m particularly enjoying the way they weave omegaverse into the universe, including the cultural and language differences they include when we get Chiyoh’s POV. It really feels like an intrinsic (and very NBC Hannibal) part of the universe, and they fit it flawlessly into canon. Speaking of, they include some fantastic Chiyoh POV as well as POV from an original character who I fell in love with instantly. Amazingly hot, fantastic characterization, sexual tension... 1000/10 highly recommend. Last updated June 29, 2023.

The Rules of Disorder by @lestatdelioncourte​ [E, 53k]  * WIP

He is falling...

Will Graham falls off a cliff in the arms of Hannibal Lecter, finally accepting the darkest parts of himself. He wakes up, uninjured and in Hannibal's bed in his old Baltimore house. Confused, Will quickly realises something is wrong and has to navigate a new reality: one where Hannibal Lecter is not a killer, where they have made a life together without any of the familiar horrors. It is his ideal world...isn't it?

I’m definitely a sucker for parallel universe/time travel nonsense, and this fic doesn’t disappoint!! It’s so heartbreaking and hopeful and bittersweet—Will finally gets everything he could have had, only to realize it’s not the same as what he wanted at all. Very investing, emotionally rewarding fic! Definitely feeds my hankering for angst while not being one-note painful—it’s got that delicious balance of comfort and pain that I can’t get enough of. Last update was June 2023.

Honzen Ryōri by @terminalfids​ [E, 54k] * WIP

"I have never felt as alive as I did when I was killing him," Will admitted in a whisper, and it was true. His skin ached with it, felt like he might simply burst from it. It wasn't enough to contain him.

"Then you owe Randall Tier a debt," Dr. Lecter mused softly, still holding on to Will's hand as he cast a glance over the corpse before them. "How will you repay him?"

"I want to skin him," he said after a long moment, dragged out until he could feel Dr. Lecter's emotions swallow his own with anticipation. The man's feelings were bombastic. Loud and inescapable when he let them fly free on his face. It was easy to submerge himself in it, mirror it, until Will felt more of Dr. Lecter in his head than himself. Dr. Lecter wasn't a psychopath. He was more emotionally alive than anyone Will had ever met. He just also happened to be able to act as cruelly as though he felt nothing at all but cold curiosity at the simple flip of a switch. "I need the- the parts. I want to build him a monument. Do you know a place where I might do that?"

For the second time since his release from the BSHCI he thought that Dr. Lecter might kiss him. He told himself that he was relieved when he did not.

Canon-divergent from Naka-Choko. Picked this fic up soon after it was first published my god did I enjoy it!! The very first scene had me head over heels—it’s beautifully written, delightfully intimate, and has just the combo of hurt/comfort, inner conflict, and turmoil that makes me drool. I’ve loved the little changes terminalfids has made to canon so far, and the way they’ve echoed or adapted canon scenes and lines in new, appropriately divergent contexts. Really fantastic characterization and POVs from both characters—I love the insights we get from each of them and am SO excited to see how it all turns out! Last updated on February 2024.

A place you can never go by @det395​​ [E, 84k]

When things don’t go according to plan, Hannibal makes a wish. He finds himself a year-and-a-half in the past and seemingly given another chance with Will.

His feelings about the situation only get more complicated when he realizes he may not have completely lost access to his old timeline after all.

A Digestivo canon divergence.

I have never ever felt so emotionally conflicted (/positive) while reading a time travel/parallel universe fic! Jen writes these characters beautifully and captures their pain so well. I love the way she uses the memory palace throughout this, and I was hanging on every word. Absolutely stunning fic that has become one of my all-time favorites. She also has written two DELICIOUS timestamps/accompanying one shots, which are part of the same Ao3 series as this fic.

The Storyteller by @gzdacz-writes-fic​ [E, 188k]

Hannibal has little choice: to eliminate the threat he presents, he must stand by and let illness consume Will Graham. But the brighter Will burns, the more the delusions of his inflamed brain begin to spill onto Hannibal's world, until the boundaries between the real and imagined become faint - and something Other slips through.

Canon divergent from partway through season 1. I will rec this fic until I’m blue in the face. It starts out /painful/—Hannibal lets Will’s encephalitis continue on unhindered with some truly devastating results—and continues on a slow, emotional, bittersweet train that incorporates some truly lovely character moments, some great catharsis, and an incredibly engaging surreal/magical realism–style mystery. Fantastic writing and characterization, incredibly engaging through and through. HIGHLY recommend but be prepared for the road to be bumpy! There’s a lot of caretaking and recovery both mental and physical, in addition to some emotional turmoil 🥰

Callin’ Anybody, Can You Hear Me? by nobetterlove [E, 19k] 

Daring to take an Introduction to Visual Arts class, a completely blind Will Graham ventures into The Walters Art Museum for an assignment. While taking the narrated tour, Will isn't prepared for the heavily accented voice flowing through his speakers, flawlessly describing the art that brought each piece to life. Though it was hard to believe, love at first listen sat at the back of his mind.

Two years later, Will visits the museum every other Friday, fixated on both the voice and the beauty and knowledge his favorite museum had to offer. With the right connections and a true talent, Will scores a gig playing for the museum's latest exhibit reveal. When a recognizable voice makes the opening presentation, Will is overwhelmed with feelings and dreamed up possibilities. What happens when the voice becomes a real person, who finds Will just as interesting?

Or - the one where Will falls in love with Hannibal's voice before ever meeting him.

A really lovely piece! The characterizations ring so true to me and I love this portrayal of blind Will Graham. The author does a wonderful job with Will’s inner monologue and really beautifully portrays his perspective and interaction with the world as influenced by both his blindness and his Classic Will Graham character that we’ve all grown to love! The first meeting between Will and Hannibal is so heartwarming, sweet, and charmingly fluffy, and their relationship blossoms quickly—we’re treated to some really lovely dates that beautifully capture that honeymoon-stage flutter and fondness, and there’s a lovely navigation of their mutual loneliness that definitely hit home for me. Though this fic itself is technically complete, it does end on a cliffhanger meant to be picked up by a second installment of the series. If you end at the penultimate scene, though, it can be read as a complete work!

Songs for the End of the World by th_esaurus [M, 20k] Will Graham/Abigail Hobbs/Hannibal Lecter,  Will Graham/Abigail Hobbs

When the infection hits, swift and relentless, turning men into monsters and the world into a wilderness, Will Graham is one of the few who doesn't run. He's lost his wife, he has no colleagues, and Abigail Hobbs has been a ghost for such a long time; the only person he has left in the world is sitting in the dank cells of Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

Waiting for him.

A TLOU-inspired post-canon AU written before s2 aired. Really beautifully written, fantastically emotional and heart-wrenching piece that kept me engaged all the way through to the bittersweet end. The characterizations are so good and the prose is amazing—highly recommend! For those who don’t normally read Will/Abigail or Hannibal/Abigail, it is present, but I think even those who don’t normally find that to be their cup of tea could enjoy this piece! There are a few very brief sex scenes between Will and Abigail (really no more than a few lines) but it’s the intimacy and distance and horror and love between the three of them that really shines through!

oh, give no faith to show by videcormeum [M, 25k]  * WIP

“Try to relax your shoulders. Be one with your body, do not fight it.”

Atoms separated them. Will swallowed. With a deep, steadying breath, he allowed his shoulders to drop. It felt better, the pull at his muscles easier. His chin lifted naturally. Projecting to the balcony.

Hannibal smiled. “That’s good, Will.”

Dancers are dying at a local ballet company. With local law enforcement convinced it's an inside job, promising FBI agent and ex-dancer Will Graham is sent undercover to investigate. When he meets renowned ballet dancer Hannibal Lecter, it becomes clear that the investigation will be anything but straightforward.

Yes, you need to read a Ballet AU. Trust me. The whole cast is repurposed here as part of the ballet company (except for Jack Crawford, who remains with Will in the FBI camp), from dancers Zeller and Bev to ballet master Hannibal, choreographer Chilton, and Madame Du Maurier. The piece is really delightful and full of emotion, old trauma, and sexual tension while also delivering some really fun company bonding and banter. Really lovely piece, especially for anyone with any interest or experience in dance or performance! Last updated May 2021.

A Trip for Biscuits by anothersummerday (M_hys_a) [E, 26k]

In late summer 1936, Bedelia du Maurier's traveling circus is plagued by a series of murders, and Will Graham begins a brief but passionate affair with a man named Roman Fell.

Wow, a delightful read all the way through! The circus aspect itself doesn’t play too big—we don’t see any performances, so it mostly serves as a backdrop that provides a really lovely traveling outcast feeling. We get an encephalitis-era Will analog here, grappling with having killed Hobbs and facing his canon-typical nightmares and sleepwalking, and then Hannibal, using the alias Roman Fell, shows up smack in the middle of all of it. Delicious repurposing of canon dialogue, lovely cameos and supporting roles from characters like Margot, Reba, Dolarhyde, and Peter, and just really smooth, engaging writing.

climb into your shell of grief by skellytons [T, 37k]  * WIP

"There is... a distinctiveness to the way that you carry yourself, Will. It is familiar in people like me and unfamiliar in people like them." Hannibal looks up at the sky, reading the stars. "And people cannot trust what they find unfamiliar."

"Well, what can I do about that?" Will scoffs, feeling quite lost indeed.

"You say you have this man's address."

"Yes."

Hannibal holds out his hand, palm toward the calm sky, "May I have it?"

Will has never been one for support groups. He hadn't planned to stay for long. And then he heard Dr. Lecter speak.

Retired FBI agent Will Graham finally gives in to pressure and attends a grief support group, and one of the members there immediately catches his attention (three guesses who that is). This is definitely a heavy one, so check the tags—lots of angst and hurt/comfort, and the focus really is on Will’s grief and trauma, the background and details of which are fed to us just a little at a time, enough to whet the palate but not give you the whole picture right from the start. It’s also got a fun mixture of canon characters, who poke in from the sides, and unfamiliar ones, who serve as a pleasant, not-at-all distracting backdrop for Will and Hannibal’s interactions. Last updated May 2024.

give it to the dirt by @ropertplant​ [E, 132k]  * WIP

Hannibal gets called in to consult on his second FBI case after The Minnesota Shrike; a string of murders connected to New Orleans. While he’s there, he meets a very interesting tour guide for the city.

They talk. They argue.

And they have much more in common than they may realize.

This is the Hannibal we know from canon—Chesapeake Ripper, psychiatrist, consultant for Jack et al back at the FBI—put up against the Will we know in spirit, if not in exact circumstance. Will has remained in New Orleans and works as a tour guide, living in isolation on the swamp with his seven-plus dogs. There is so much to love about this one!! The characterizations, dialogue, and banter, for one, are delightful and so striking. We get a delicious helping of smitten Hannibal, bitchy/abrasive Dark!Will, delightful inner conflicts, sexual and romantic tension, some hilarious peeks at Team Sassy Science, and more. There are some INCREDIBLY fun and incredibly hot scenes, and there’s great humor throughout along with some really well-done sweet moments. This one absolutely consumed me—once I picked it up I couldn’t put it down! Last updated July 2024.

Symbasis by @bloodripelives​ [E, 126k]

Anabasis: a journey up away from the coast, cf. Xenophon, Alexander. Katabasis: a journey towards the coast, or, descent to the underworld, cf. Persephone, Orpheus.

The world is being torn apart and remade. The ripper of Carthage thinks to help with the tearing; a desert prophet is ready to be remade.

REALLY fantastic Historical AU that starts out at the end of Alexander the Great’s siege of Tyre, where Carthaginian Hannibal son of Lectis happens to have been stuck along with the rest of his envoy for the past seven months. Meanwhile, this version of Will (Weldjebauend, or Wel for short) is an Egyptian priest of Ammon-Re; he’d been found in the desert when he was a child by Joh (Jack), another priest of Ammon-Re, who’d taken him under his wing and brought him into the priesthood. Will’s encephalitis-induced hallucinations and empathy are repurposed into visions and knowledge sent by the gods, Hannibal is a hoplite soldier as well as a murderer who’s got a blood feud to avenge, and some of our favorite minor characters are woven in throughout, including Beverly (Bacaxa), Jimmy (Jason), and Brian (Briarios). There’s A LOT of history in this, and Alexander the Great and the historical happenings that go along with him definitely do not take a backseat. It’s a bit of a slow burn leading up to Will and Hannibal meeting and getting to know each other in any capacity, and it’s an enthralling ride—tei’s writing is fantastic and the characters are absolutely engaging from the very start!

[muse-matrix]

So... It's been a while since I last logged in here. Longer still since I properly did... much of anything here, outside of a few scattered posts. Part of me had been kinda dreading coming back here but looking at when my activity really dramatically dropped off, I think I understand what happened.

So, way back in february of last year, I was bouncing between a lot of things. I was running around doing a bunch of stuff to try and secure a new job, and I did manage that- A big component of my not being here was just me adjusting to having to work again, after being unemployed for almost an entire year. It was tough to get the right structure going, but I managed it. And despite starting college just a couple weeks ago, I've mostly managed that too so far, I think.

But that isn't... the main reason why. Probably. I think.

You see, what else happened in february, was that I got booted from a community I'd been a part of for years. It encompassed my involvement in a card game I loved, as well as the FF14 free company I'd been part of at the time. Someone who was, at one time, a good friend of mine misinterpreted something, and was so incensed by it, they took some things I said out of context and absolutely slandered me to the mod team of that community. (Yes, it actually is as bad as it sounds. I checked.) As a result, I was privately labeled some pretty nasty things, and shunted from their discord server without so much as a word. None of them would speak to me, none of them would even give me a chance to tell my side of things.

Obviously, that stung. A lot.

It had me pretty dejected about a lot of stuff, for a really long time. Probably why I mostly got off of here- I retreated to a different blog where there was less pressure (self-imposed) and more freedom for me to just, kinda, do whatever I wanted without fear or worry. I needed space and freedom to move myself around how I wanted for a while. And then that led to me feeling bad about not coming back here, which made me put off coming back here even longer... You see where this goes.

But at this point, it's been a year and a half. I'm pretty much over that fiasco, I haven't spoken to any of those people since, and they've evidently been content to leave it alone too, given I haven't had any mobs of angry pitchfork-wielding card game players coming after me.

And recently, Kako came back! She's RPing again and that's fun to see. I know a lot of you I've still been in contact with regardless, her included, so most of you probably are already aware of a lot of this stuff, but writing all this out is part of my process, so bear with it. The important thing is, after a lot of time and thinking about things, and seeing friends return to RPing and watching things happen from afar... God, do I want to get back into it with you all.

I very likely still won't be super active, but I'm going to at least try to be consistent. This is supposed to be my main, after all. I'll probably take the next week or so to clean up the muse list, cut a bunch of stuff, get a bit more focused and the like. Not that I'll actually stop playing any given muse- I'm wont to flip-flop between characters I enjoy, and I'm loathe to let fun interactions pass me by just because a character 'isn't on my muse list', but I ought to give myself a bit of structure, at least.

So... I'll try to be here every day, at least. Even if it's just to check in. This'll be a fresh start for me, I'd say, not that any of my old lore or whatever is getting abandoned. It's just... It's been a long time. It'll take some easing back into things for me, so I'm not even going to worry about whatever asks have been left to rot in my inbox, stuff like that.

Given it's been such a long time, some of you may... have blogs that I'm not currently following, cause I've missed them or what have you. So uh, if that's the case, please shoot me a message so I can correct that.

[mimis-memes]

🍎  ｡:*• ─ CHRISTMAS PICK-UP LINES SENTENCE STARTERS.      ›    ( a compilation of various christmas/holiday-themed pick-up lines taken from various sources, for muses who are feeling flirty this holiday season !  feel free to adjust them to better fit your muses.   note: numbers 21 to 40 can be nsfɯ, so please read at your own risk ! )

nice & funny : 1.    ❝ There’s snow one like you ! ❞ 2.    ❝ When we met, it was love at frost sight ! ❞ 3.    ❝ I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you. ❞ 4.    ❝ Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice ! ❞ 5.    ❝ Are you Christmas ?  Because I want to merry you. ❞ 6.    ❝ There's snow place like your arms this Christmas ! ❞ 7.    ❝ Do you live in an igloo ?  Because you're pretty cool ! ❞ 8.    ❝ I didn’t think I was a snowman, but you just made me melt. ❞ 9.    ❝ If I was the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas. I’d steal you. ❞ 10.  ❝ I’ll be home for Christmas — and I want you to come with me. ❞ 11.  ❝ You make me more excited than gifts under a Christmas tree ! ❞ 12.  ❝ I don’t need Christmas lights, you’re already shining so bright ! ❞ 13.  ❝ The Grinch may have stolen Christmas, but you stole my heart. ❞ 14.  ❝ Let’s drink some hot tea in the snow. After all, ‘Teas the Season ! ❞ 15.  ❝ I don’t have a Christmas list, because you’re already the best gift. ❞ 16.  ❝ It’s the season of giving, so you should give me your phone number. ❞ 17.  ❝ Aren’t you supposed to be on top of that tree ?  Because you’re a star ! ❞ 18.  ❝ Let me take you on a first date in the snow. I promise I’m not going to flake ! ❞ 19.  ❝ Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas ? ❞ 20.  ❝ If you were a tree, you’d be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good all year round. ❞ naughty & sexy : 21.  ❝ Let’s make this a not-so-silent night. ❞ 22.  ❝ Let me help you out of that ugly sweater... ❞ 23.  ❝ I want to fill you up with my... holiday spirit. ❞ 24.  ❝ How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight ? ❞ 25.  ❝ The only package I want this Christmas is yours. ❞ 26.  ❝ We don’t need a sleigh, you can ride me instead. ❞ 27.  ❝ Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true. ❞ 28.  ❝ Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight. ❞ 29.  ❝ Is your name Winter ?  Because you’ll be coming soon. ❞ 30.  ❝ Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree. ❞ 31.  ❝ Your stocking isn’t the only thing I’ll be filling up tonight. ❞ 32.  ❝ Are you ornaments ?  Because I want you all over my tree. ❞ 33.  ❝ You're the first gift I want to unwrap on Christmas morning. ❞ 34.  ❝ Call me your Christmas tree, because you’re turning me on. ❞ 35.  ❝ Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me ? ❞ 36.  ❝ I was going to warm my hands by the fireplace, but you’re much hotter ! ❞ 37.  ❝ Do you like the song “Jingle Bells” ?  Because we could go all the way... ❞ 38.  ❝ Are you looking for a tree topper ?  Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top. ❞ 39.  ❝ I just got some mistletoe. How about we go back to my place and try it out ? ❞ 40.  ❝ I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas ? ❞

Sources: [ 1 ]  [ 2 ]  [ 3 ]

[captainlilyuniverseworld]

What if...Pt 2

You can read the first part here ❤️

Gale and Astarion meet for dinner on Gale's last night in Baldur's Gate.

Pairing: Gale/Astarion

Rating: M (Nsfw under the cut)

A Little Less Conversation and a little more…

Gale was nervous. He didn’t know why he was nervous, he had no reason to be but he was. Alright he had a small reason to be nervous. He was supposed to be meeting Astarion again that evening. 

He didn’t know what to expect, they hadn’t made plans past meeting after sunset. He stared at himself, adjusting the buttons of his shirt sleeves. His vest. His hair. Was he underdressed, was he overdressed? 

“You’re overthinking,” his reflection told him. 

“I’m well aware of that,” he huffed and waved his hand dismissing the illusion and sat on his bed. 

He still felt, he didn’t know what to feel. The morning after their first encounter he’d woken up as if in a daze. Groggy, disoriented, he chalked it up to the wine he’d drunk, but honestly he didn’t remember drinking that much wine in the first place.

Maybe he just has that affect on you, his mind mused. 

Gale snorted. He highly doubted that. Gale was a lot of things, but someone’s choice of, well, partners was not typically one of them.  

He shook his head and changed for what felt like the hundredth time, settling on a pair of dark plants, and a long sleeve plum colored sweater. It was a little old, but still nice and comforting to a degree. 

He found some shoes and took one last look in the mirror before getting his coat and leaving the room. He didn’t expect Astarion to already be outside waiting but he was. Under one the glowing lampposts, the firelight made his hair look like starlight. 

“Evening,” Gale cleared his throat a little as he walked over. 

“Evening,” Astarion smiled. “I thought we might go to the Helm and Cloak. It’s a little expensive but it’s quiet and they have an excellent wine list.” 

“This is your city, so I will take your word for it,” Gale nodded. “I am in your capable hands.” 

“My my,” Astarion put his hand on Gale’s lower back as they started walking. “You must really be a very good pupil.” 

Gale shrugged and focused on one of the lantern lights trying to quell the nerves he felt. “So they say…” he didn’t know what to do with his hands. But the feeling of Astarion’s hand on his lower back was grounding. “So, you’re uh, you’re a magistrate?” 

“You don’t want to hear about that,” Astarion waved his hand dismissively. “It’s all rather, tedious.”  

“Actually, I do,” Gale looked at him. 

Astarion stared back at him and didn’t say anything to him for a moment as they kept walking. “Really?” he finally asked. 

“Really,” Gale answered. 

“Well,” Astarion cleared his throat. “It is tedious. I spend most of my day working with the various authorities of the city. Both officially and unofficially I work with the Flaming Fists, they are a mercenary company but are also the city's standing army in some regards. Just this morning I issued two bench warrants for some unsavory business happening in the lower city.” 

“Do you ever get to go out when they use the warrants?” Gale asked. 

“Me? Goodness no,” Astarion chuckled. “I’m perfectly fine staying in my office. Rather read about the sordid details of the warrants needed, the citations issued.” 

“I thought you said it was all tedious,” Gale teased. 

“Alright, it’s not all tedious,” Astarion chuckled. 

They stepped inside the Helm and Cloak and without much prompting were taken to a more secluded table. They were given two glasses, and a bottle of mead. 

“We’ll just need a moment to decide,” Astarion waved them off. 

Gale is a little overwhelmed by the menu. It's different from Waterdeep but at the same time it's not. He and his mother went to places like this all the time. He and Elminster had been to places like this. 

It's the company that’s different. He settles on something simple and probably won't remember the name after tonight. Astarion settles on something rare and relays their order. 

Gale amdires the tavern. It is comfortable and quiet and Astarion pours him more mead. It's a bit tart but Gale drinks it all the same. 

“Did you make it to the tabernacle?” Astarion is cutting into his piece of meat. 

“Are you sure that's cooked enough?” Gale asks. “Seems almost too bloody.” 

“Of course, it's a delicacy,” Astarion answered. 

Gale watches the way his tongue darts out to catch the stray dropping, dragging the meat along the plate. 

“I didn't make it,” Gale answered returning to his own food. “I got caught up in the park, and then visiting another bookstore. I found this volume on the history of Baldurs Gate and Faerun and lost track of time.” 

“Of course you did,” Astarion smiled amused. “Well, why don't we go after this?”

“Wouldn't it be closed?” Gale frowned. 

“Nothing is ever truly closed,” Astarion licked his lips. “Besides, you're with a magistrate.” 

And part of Gale wonders if he should do that. But Astarion is looking at him and Gale doesn't know if anyone had ever looked at him like that. Like he was worthy of it. Prodigal that he was, he was still just a young apprentice. 

“Okay,” Gale nodded. “Okay.” 

They finish eating and Astarion gets a bottle of wine as they leave. You're with the magistrate, rings in his head as he watches the man next to him. It's a walk to the Stormshore Tabernacle. And Gale is a little nervous when Astarion pushed the bottle of wine into his hands and then he's kneeling in front of the door. 

He pulled a small leather pouch from his coat and it's a few clicks before the door opens and he straightens up. 

“I don't know why I assumed you just had a skeleton key,” Gale can't help but say. 

Astarion laughed. “What do you mean? I do.” He wiggles the pouch and tucks it back into his coat. He takes Gale's hand and the large wooden doors creak as they open. 

They shut the door behind them and they're alone. It’s both somehow bigger and smaller than Gale pictured in his head when he learned about it. A shrine to Mystra should be grander. Something to appreciate her beauty, her creation of the weave and it's continued existence. 

“Sounds like an impressive being,” Astarion mused walking around the space. 

“Ah, I said that out loud didn't I?” Gale ran a hand through his hair.

“You did,” Astarion chuckled. “It's alright though. I enjoy a bit of passion.” He stepped up to Gale and tucked his fingers under his chin. “Perhaps then, you'd like to demonstrate how much you appreciate her?”

“Demonstrate?” Gale asked. 

Astarion nodded. “A display of showmanship. I confess, I don't interact with many wizards and sorcerers. Warlock tends to be a bit too…cocky for my taste.” He smiled like he was thinking about something funny. 

“I don't know…” Gale rubbed the back of his neck. “Doing magic with Elminster is one thing but this is Mystra, anything I do would seem insufficient…” 

“Oh come now, I'm sure she'd be happy with any display. Especially from a prodigy,” Astarion dropped his hand. 

He was goading him. Trying to get a rise out of him. 

“Alright, fine,” Gale straightened and rolled up his sleeves. 

Astarion moved out of the way and Gale took a deep breath to concentrate. He wouldn't just do a simple spell. He’d channel the weave. He concentrated on mimicking the movements he'd done hundreds of times. 

The magic felt like a soft kiss. A caress even, the tabernacle slowly glowing in a soft golden light. He shivered and stilled as Astarion came up behind him. 

“Shhh, focus,” Astarion nibbled his earlobe. “Keep going.” 

His hands were on Gale's hips and he slipped his hands under the fabric of his shirt, his hands were cold and his finger nails were sharp against his skin. Gale tried to suppress another shiver and tried to concentrate. 

His nails scraped Gale’s skin. He looked to the statue of Mystra and it felt like her eyes were boring into him. 

“Sto…stop,” Gale twisted out of Astarion’s hands. 

The magic, the soft glow dissipated leaving the cold and dark of the candlelight. Gale swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“I’m sorry, I-“ 

“Shh, shhh, hush now,” Astarion interrupted softly. 

He held his hands up, palm facing outward as he approached Gale once more. When he seemed sure Gale wasn’t going to back away again, he put a hand on his shoulder. 

“You really are devoted to her aren’t you?” Astarion didn’t seem upset. 

“It’s because of Mystra I get to experience magic and the weave, it seems…wrong to…” he trailed off. 

“You really are a sweet boy,” Astarion sighed. He brushed a few strands of hair back from his face. “I shall be a beacon of modesty while you pay your respects.”

He stepped back, and this time sat on one of the stone benches with his legs crossed and hands folded in his lap. Gale thought he might have been joking, but Astarion sat with such stillness and silence, he could have been mistaken for another statue. 

The focus he needed to channel the weave was gone. His heart was beating to hard, and he felt the stirrings of arousal, his skin still tingled where Astarion had touched him so instead he did a simple conjuring spell. 

Dancing lights, moving them about the shrine, lighting the few candles at Mystra’s feet. Gale left a few coins in the donation box and they slipped out. They found themselves lingering outside the Elfsong before long. 

“We never got to open the wine you bought,” Gale realized. He had completely forgotten its existence. Did they still have it?

”So it seems,” Astarion had not forgotten the wine and indeed held it in his hand. 

“Do you want to come up for a glass?” Gale offered. ”I have some cups in my room.” 

“Are you sure?” Astarion asked. 

Is that what you want? He was asking. 

Gale nodded. 

They did not in fact open the wine, and Gale did not in fact pour them each a cup. The door of his room shut and the wine was discarded on the dresser. Their coats followed suit and in short order their clothes. Astarion was so cold, no matter where Gale touched. His face, his cheeks, his chest, his back. 

They kissed and Astarion’s tongue invaded his mouth, while his long fingers touched him. And Gale whined, panted as the other man began to kiss down his chest, taking a nipple and rolling it between his fingers. He sucked on his hip bone, scraped his teeth over the flesh. 

Gale reached down fisting Astarion’s curls with his hand as the man moved lower and lower. He bypassed Gale’s cock entirely, instead holding it with one hand as he kissed the inside of his thighs.  He maneuvered Gale’s right leg over his shoulder, his heel digging into Astarion’s back. 

The hand holding his cock let go and instead Astarion pressed his fingers to Gale’s mouth with a silent request and Gale listened. He licked the pads of Astarion’s fingers, running his tongue along the digits sucking on them until he pulled his fingers free and they came wet with a thin string of saliva connecting them to Gale’s lips. 

He continued to lavish attention on Gale’s thigh, gripping it tightly and sucking on the skin til it bruised. 

“Breathe,” Astarion told him, pressing his spit slick fingers against Gale. 

Easier said than done but Gale tried to take deep breaths, tensing as the first finger entered him, moving painstakingly slow before the second joined. They moved in a steady tandem, and Astarion finally let go of Gale’s thigh. His own vision was hazy but when he looked down at Astarion, his eyes were blown wide, cheeks flushed with color and a thin sheen of sweat covered his skin. 

“Beautiful,” Gale breathed and Astarion laughed, pressing another opened mouth kiss to the inside of his thigh. 

“So sweet,” and then Astarion is swallowing his cock down and Gale chokes on a moan. His mouth is cold and his throat is tight and he's thrusting his fingers as he bobs his head. Running his tongue along the underside. 

It doesn't take long before Gale is cumming down his throat and Astarion is working him through it. Fingers still teasing his insides enough that Gale squirms. His cock gives a valiant twitch as Astarion sits up, slowly withdrawing his fingers. 

And Gale is acutely aware that this is the second time the other man has made him cum and he just enjoyed it. 

“You're thinking,” Astarion looks down at him. 

“I just realized, I haven't, I didn't reciprocate,” Gale sat up on his elbows. 

Astarion once again seemed confused, or caught off guard by Gale’s observation. Then he smiled and then they kissed again. 

“You've done more than enough,” Astarion murmured. 

He started to pull away but Gale held on. “You don't have to go yet. I mean, could stay…if you want.” 

Astarion glanced at the window and the curtains that are partially closed then glanced down at Gale. He’s slightly less cold, still a bit slick with sweat as he lays down next to Gale. It took some rearranging, Astarion is taller but not as broad as Gale, and the bed is small. 

Gale never planned on having a bedfellow to begin with. He feels wound up and exhausted at the same time and yawns. He doesn't want to sleep though, but it comes all the same. 

****

It’s a little past sunrise when Gale wakes up the next morning. And he’s not surprised to wake up alone. He’s groggy, stiff, his lower back and hips are sore and when he stands his legs feel like pudding. 

He does find a small basin of water and clean cloths to clean himself up with it and winced as he wipes down the insides of his thighs. They’re both already a dark shade of blue and purple from high tightly Astarion had gripped him. 

It wasn’t hard to not feel disappointed that Astarion hadn’t stayed til the morning, but the man had to be busy with being a magistrate. 

A magistrate who knew how to pick locks, he reminded himself. 

Gale finished cleaning up and got dressed. He packed his things and paid the remainder of his tab. You’re overthinking Gale. Just treat it as a fun experience, he shook his head. You’ll probably never see him again anyway.

[discoverywriter]

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there’s a pattern!

Thanks @entwinedloop for tagging me. I don’t usually do these, but you have to start somewhere, right? Here goes!

1. Enemy of My Enemy

Rio frowned and took another look around the empty space.

2. Deck The Halls

“Elizabeth!” Rio snapped, stepping down off the short ladder, his nerves fraying as Beth directed him - for the third time in as many minutes - on how to adjust the end of the garland to even it out.

3. Is This Seat Taken

“Is this seat taken?”

4. You’ve Been Served

“Hey, man, I’ll have whatever she’s havin.”

5. What Would Elizabeth Do?

Beth pushed open the door of the cafe and made a beeline for the counter to get an extra-large of her usual.

6. Muse

Beth sat back against the bar stool and took another sip of her drink.

7. Olive Branches and Birthday Cakes

Beth was running late for her next meeting, walking through the parking lot behind City Hall juggling her purse, laptop bag and coffee, when she heard her phone ring.

8. Smarter Than Your Average Gang Friend

It was late.

9. Better Than Chocolate

Elizabeth - I need to cancel tonight.

10. Siren Song

Between fighting with Dean about his reluctance to take the kids for the entire week like he was supposed to, and all the extra hours she’d been working to get Rio’s latest printing order finished on time, it felt like she hadn’t had any time just for herself in months.

Patterns? The first lines don’t always give it away, but my fics are all Brio, all the time, so there’s no mixing of the ships in this selection. I do seem to have them eating or drinking an awful lot, but other than that I’m not sure if I see any real patterns. Some first sentences are longer/more detailed than others, some are… not (numbers 3 and 8, I’m looking at you, you slackers! 🤣).

Tagging: @michelleelizabethtanner @abi1821 @merelyafigment @faceless-inthecrowd @moveslikeagazelle @sillywoman01 (sorry if you’ve already been tagged!)

[cyanide-latte]

I don't go to TWST but I'm loving watching you get into the community. As an outsider, I just wanna ask, how do you come up with character names? Is there any relation to the character you're twisting from?

Aaahhh Jay dear, you know I love this kind of question because diving into this kind of thing is my delight!

And as for the answer...

✨✨✨

Regarding Copper and the characters attached to him, each of them is a fairly unimaginative nod to the characters they're twisted from, save for perhaps Old Flynn (twisted from Rufus the cat, I went for the meanings of both names and how similar they were.) As for Copper and the fact he's a double twist, his chosen name wasn't too hard to take from "Penny", (speaking in the Doylist sense,) and his deadname is actually the reference to Captain Barbossa (currently. He might later adjust his form of address in the future in ways that reflect that as well.)

✨✨✨

The Wei family is somewhat trickier. I initially had mostly developed just Wei Renqiao, with his uncle Wei Gang and cousin Wei Xinyi as afterthoughts. And since Wei Renqiao is an expy of Shan Yu while also being very much his own person, that set the stage for how I chose to name him.

The family name "Wei" has a variety of different meanings based on the characters it's written with. I went for the characters meaning "dangerous" or "towering", partially as a nod to Shan Yu in Wei Renqiao's character, but also because it fit the way my muse was unfolding and determining that the Wei family are often the fierce protectors and leaders of their people.

Wei Renqiao's name is written with "Ren" for "trust" or "rely on" and Qiao for "artful, skillful, clever". Clearly this is where some deviation from Shan Yu occurs and we see he's his own character. It should also be noted his name at birth was actually Wei Feng, written with "Feng" as "phoenix", which is both a nod back to Shan Yu in a way, as well as an hint at his Signature Spell/Unique Magic. He doesn't care to be called this though.

His uncle's name, Wei Gang, has the characters for "rigid" or "strong", both meant to prove a few things about his character but it was ultimately landing on that name that made me realize he was indeed twisted from The Emperor (I'd been suspicious but not certain up to that point.)

Wei Xinyi is the one that especially delights me as a bit of serendipity! I hadn't intended them to be a Mulan expy, not initially, but I must have been leaning in that direction anyhow because their SS/UM allows them to switch between genders, and I knew that about them first. From there I went hunting for a name and stumbled across "Xinyi", which I've noticed can be written with m. or f. characters. (It's the "Xin" that can be written differently but the "Yi" is the same.) That name jumped out at me when trying to pick something, not necessarily for its meaning so much as the fact I noticed it can be written either way and still largely mean the same thing, and Xinyi themself immediately decided that was their name, so it stuck!

✨✨✨

THEN WE GET TO CHRYS AND HIS PARENTS AND BOY OH BOY.

I picked his mother's name, Kallisto, out of a list of possible names. I already had a pre-existing bias towards the name, yeah, though I must say its meaning ("most beautiful") wasn't necessarily the deciding factor or even tied to what she's twisted from. It was only a couple of days ago I even realized I had drawn on aspects of the Muses for her character!

Ilias was a little more deliberate, as one of the meanings of it is "prophet" or "oracle" or "diviner". Again a hint-hint, wink-wink about Ilias's SS/UM, but in this case it's also because a lot of aspects of him I drew from the Fates.

CHRYSANTHOS. OH CHRYSANTHOS. I WAS DOING SOME 5D CHESS WITH HIM.

The Shroud family in canon is twisted from Hades, they've all got characteristics of him, noticeably the hair. And I do love a good surname that's a point towards Hades being the Lord of the Dead.

I've got a running joke that Chrys is my little flower boy. I'll explain some of that in future posts, but his parents chose his name because at one point his hair reminded them of chrysanthemums when he was a baby. And while that may be considered chuckle-worthy, chrysanthemums are funerary flowers in most parts of the world. (Most of America doesn't attribute them as such, but New Orleans actually keeps to this. This has nothing to do with the character, I just find that interesting.) And you know me; the second I saw that was a Greek name based on chrysanthemums, that part of me that goes nuts for the language of flowers latched on and went feral for the layers of symbolism there.

As for that tying to the fact has a lot of character traits from Meg, well...take that as you will.

Taglist: @ramshacklerumble @simons-twsted-children @tixdixl @inmateofthemind @blithesharem @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter

[circa98s]

‧ ₊ ˚ ✧ › MUN: good afternoon, my dears! i'm k ( she/her, est, 21+ ), the writer behind han mila & shin eunbi. milas blog serves as my main, while eunbis is a side, so you'll most likely see me interact from this one more frequently ooc! if you'd like to plot over on discord, i'm happy to give that out upon request! ♡

‧ ₊ ˚ ✧ › MUSE: and now, meet han mila— 25 years old, a city girl who planted her roots in yuseong bay only 4 months ago, so she's a new resident. utilizing her marketing degree ( wow, fancy ), she currently works as a visual merchandiser at eclectique 33. you can find her wip stats page here!

when did your muse first arrive in yuseong bay? mila has only begun planting roots for herself in yuseong about four months ago ( so, essentially, at the very beginning of this year ).

what does an average day look like for your muse & where can they usually be found? the busiest of bees, mila can be seen fluttering around eclectique, as well as it's general vicinity, the majority of time— at least, during the day / general work hours. as mornings wind down into evenings and the sun begins to set, the blonde often takes refugee at the 88&bar, nursing cocktails of her choice as a way of keeping her frazzled thoughts at bay ( when i tell you this city girl is still trying to adjust to rural living amidst having her hallmark movie moment . . . pls help her ).

how does your muse feel about hanhwa resort? having no real frame of reference for what mild negativities a resort like hanhwa could be bringing to the local space and its primary inhabitants whose daily lives are now continuously altered, mila herself doesn't see the harm with how much attention it seems to be garnering. honestly, the urban crowds that filter in and out are a welcome familiarity.

is there an aspiration for your muse to stay in or leave yuseong bay? for the time being, mila has no real idea what she's looking for just yet— coming to yuseong had been a random, but conscious, choice, one made with the intention of being somewhere different. for now, four months in and still aspiring to find some sense of rthym for herself ( as hard as that'd currently been ), the thought of wanting to leave has yet to cross her mind.

list your muse’s three favorite songs. healing — fletcher. walking home — mac ayres. naked girl — iyla.

describe your muse’s wardrobe. flirty, girly, pastels. a soft romantic at heart, that aspect of her personality translates one for one in terms of her fashion.

what is a color, word, and emoji that you feel describes your muse? baby pink, ambitious, 🎀.

three strong likes and dislikes for your muse. likes — floral perfumes, early mornings, staying busy. dislikes — creative ruts, the stench of fish, root regrowth.

three positive and negative traits for your muse. positives — sweet, upbeat, extroverted. negatives — impulsive, workaholic, judgy.

three talents and shortcomings for your muse. having a knack for connecting with others, a skill she'd already had since childhood that only got stronger with time, mila can make an acquaintance out of anyone. open, ready to talk about anything and everything, there's not a single person she'd ever found herself intimidated by enough to keep her distance. often times, it's this very facete of herself that leads to a decline in energy by the days end, her social batteries quick to recharge after quiet evenings, and even then, she'll often find herself engaging in conversations past her moods expiration simply because that's what she's always done. mild eye bags and all that'll be gone come time to wake up the next morning, mila engages with a smile.

what is a book/tv series/movie/video game character that you feel your character relates to? without question, elle woods has always been a role model, a character mila strives make proud.

a relevant goal or arc for your character to overcome. finding balance, not just within herself, but in this new daily life she's found for herself.

[venture-through-the-mist]

Tennotober 2024

My collection of works based on the Tennotober 2024 prompts.

Hi all! I wanted to take part in Tennotober 2024, but I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to draw 31 art pieces, so I’m doing some fics instead!

The Warframe Tennotober 2024 Prompt List can be found here: https://forums.warframe.com/topic/1412660-official-tennotober-2024-megathread/

Day 9: Anime: Sometimes, We All Need A Break

Eleanor’s noticed that her team’s morale has been quite low lately. Luckily, she and Aoi have just the plan to cheer them up.

TW: None for this chapter.

With that out of the way, the fic begins under the cut.

All of them are stressed. Of course, she’s not exactly surprised at that fact—living in a diseased wasteland while searching for the madman doctor that did this to them is harrowing work—, but sometimes she wonders if they don’t realize that she always knows just how agitated they are. She can’t help it, of course, the waves of thoughts and memories and emotions just…flood into her head, not caring much for her thoughts—or theirs—on the matter. But, that isn’t always a terrible thing. It means that she’s the best one out of all of them to figure out what the hell to do to cheer up the group. 

Well, with the help of their resident ‘ball of sunshine’, Aoi, of course. The woman’s almost sickeningly sweet—-she- should have been the one with the strange telepathic powers, Eleanor muses, the thought not uncommon—, and she’s the perfect candidate to help bring some light back into the eyes of their teammates. She closes her eyes, flitting through the never-ending expanse of information until she reaches the mind she’s searching for.

Has Arthur eaten today?

Goddamnit, those frickin’ rats are here again. When I see Lettie…

What if I just…there we g—

The flurry of disconnected thoughts stops as, she presumes, the other notices her presence.

Eleanor? You there?

I am. I wanted to ask for your help.

She feels a flicker of confusion that isn’t her own, so the telepath elaborates.

The group’s been a tad disjointed lately. I was wondering if you’d help me figure out a way to change that. 

Surprisingly, Aoi’s mind lights up, realization and excitement flashing through it. Eleanor waits for her to explain, wondering what on earth she could’ve thought of already.

I found a bunch of old movies the other day, we can grab one of the T.V.s from the surveillance room and bring it into the furniture store and watch something? I kinda already picked one out.

That…somehow doesn’t surprise her, and she smiles slightly. 

There isn’t anywhere to plug in a television here, we’d have to do it in the surveillance room. But I like it.

A flash of something almost…sad bleeds from Aoi’s mind into her own and she grits her teeth slightly.

What’s wrong?

You won’t be able to watch with us.

And this is why they both developed the wrong abilities. Sometimes, the extent of the other’s care for the team surprises her. It shouldn’t, but she doesn’t know how someone can be this lovely, not with everything that’s happened. She projects a thought to her.

That’s alright. This isn’t for me. What did you want to watch, anyways?

Amusement creeps out from behind the sadness, and Eleanor gets the distinct feeling that whatever she says won’t exactly go down well with some of the group.

That’s for me to know, and everyone else to find out. I’ll go gather the idiots.

She hears a yell from across the mall, and soon enough, footsteps filter into the store where she spends her time. She opens her eyes slowly, having to adjust to the light as she sees five distinct faces. Aoi toys with something metallic as she turns to the group.

“Right, Eleanor and I’ve noticed that group morale’s been a bit low as of late. So, we came up with a team-building activity. And no—“ She turns towards Arthur and Quincy, both of whom have made various grunts of protest.

“—it’s not optional. We’re gonna watch this.” She holds up a VHS case—which is decorated with an airborne, gray creature, and a child clinging to it, another child in a reddish-pink dress running along beneath them—and Eleanor watches three out of the four grimace.

“Really?”

“Are you fuckin’ with us?”

“Nah, I’ve got better shit t’do then watch some prissy li’l kid’s film.”

She notices Amir shrug.

“Why not?” Aoi grins, looking to Eleanor, who senses excitement from the other.

“Again, not optional. Let’s go.” Eleanor smirks as the other woman ushers the others out of the room, mustering enough energy to wave almost tauntingly at her brother as he stares at her, his expression a silent plea for help. She inhales deeply, closing her eyes again. She lets herself wander, sensing the others’ minds. There’s turmoil within them, but also a sizable amount of confusion—and annoyance, but she doesn’t think it’s enough to be risking a fight. She can hear their thoughts as, presumably, Aoi puts the tape into the television and begins the film. 

What the fuck is this shit?

There’s so much work to do.

The rats are more entertaining than this.

It’s a little slo—Hi, Eleanor.

She smiles softly at Amir’s greeting, quickly projecting one of her own before simply observing. As the film proceeds, she notices as the thoughts start to shift, to quiet. She can hear their soft voices from the other end of the mall, though as sadness, as longing begins to seep from their minds to hers, Eleanor wonders if she’s made the wrong choice. But among that, there’s a sort of…calm. She changes a further glance into their thoughts.

Mamá…I’ll be home soon. Promise.

…

Eleanor, git outta my head.

Aww…

Yep. We’ll be okay. This was a good idea.

She smiles softly, relaxing into the unusual tranquility. It isn’t perfect of course. But perhaps this night of spending time with each other, outside of slaying the Infested, was what they all needed. She senses a quiet thought.

Thanks Eleanor. We needed that. 

It’s from Amir’s mind, she thinks, but she catches similar sentiments circling through the air. The telepath inhales quietly, the calm atmosphere mixed with the darkness behind her closed lids sending a wave of exhaustion through her.

No one protests when Aoi suggests instilling a weekly movie night. Not even Arthur. Not even Quincy.

[twostepstyless]

His Favourite Princess

Fic Advent Calendar Day 9

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Author’s Note: Y/N and Harry go for the last of their Christmas shopping. The list of what they have left to buy isn’t too long but they both get swept up buying kids toys and separately they both begin to imagine life buying toys for their own. An ignorant staff member annoys Y/N just a little bit.

As always, likes, reblogs and feedback of any variety is encouraged and always appreciated - G x

Word Count: 1.5k

———

“What’s left on the list?” Harry pulled the car out of the driveway as they made their way on last minute Christmas shopping trip. “I need to get whisky for my Dad, some sweets to go in with m’mum’s and brothers and his girlfriends, we need to get some bits for your mum’s cats, I’ve ordered your gift for your secret Santa with your cousins that should come any day now. Oh, I’ve not got anything for Natalie’s little one yet, he’s really into princesses and animals and anything that sparkles right now. She texted me a picture the other day and he was sat at his little table colouring princess pictures and had tried to stick some glitter on it and had more down him,” Y/N giggled at her best friend’s child in the photo before turning the phone so Harry could see it as they were stopped at a red light.

Harry hummed out a laugh, “he’s so cute,” he cooed before shifting into gear to drive on. 

“He misses you,” Y/N said, tucking her phone away, “said on the phone the other day that Uncle Harry is the best at playing with him, which I beg to differ but still.” 

“Are we not seeing them this year?” Harry mused.

“No,” Y/N mourned, “they couldn’t squeeze in a trip and all the dates we could’ve went to them, they’re busy,” Y/N was gutted she wasn’t seeing her best friend and godson before Christmas, she guesses she’ll just need to post their gifts to them this year. 

“Hm, that’s a shame, we’ll make time in January and go visit, yeah?” Harry reached over to rub her thigh and squeeze her knee in comfort. 

“Really?” 

“Of course, can’t let some other schmuck come in and steal the best play date role,” Harry joked.

“Shit, we need to get something for Ernie from the corner shop too,” Y/N smacked her forehead before reaching for her phone to add it onto her list. 

“No, we don’t,” Harry piped up, slowing the car down as they entered a roundabout. 

“Huh?” 

“I’ve already got Ernie covered, sorted it while I was away.” Harry said, proud of himself for ticking off something on Y/N’s list before it was even on her list. Her eyebrow quirked, a signal for him to explain. “Met this guy when I was away, one of those friends of a friend of a friend of a cousin of a brother of a daughter type situations. Who happened to be a whisky collector, got some malt aged bottle of something from somewhere in Scotland that I’ve heard him mention, probably worth a bit of money but I’d rather he just drank it and enjoyed it. It’s in a box on my side of the walk-in wardrobe. M’surprised you didn’t notice it,” Harry finished. 

“Considering some of your dirty washing is still piled up on your side, m’not surprised at all I didn’t see it,” Y/N teased as Harry pulled into a spot in the car park closest to the shopping area. 

*** 

“Okay, chocolate - tick,” she handed Harry the ridiculously large bag from Hotel Chocolat, “enough cat nip to take down a lion and enough treats to feed every cat in the world 3 times over - sorted,” a large Pets at Home bag was passed to Harry. Granted there was also some extra gifts for their overgrown puppy Vinnie in the bag too. “And you ordered a bottle for m’Dad, yeah?” she double checked.

“I did, I got a bottle of Johnnie Walk-” Harry began. 

“H, baby, is telling me what kind of whisky y’got going to mean anything to me? No, so let’s not bother,” she laughed.

“Fair,” Harry adjusted all the bags he carried. “So… toy shop now?” Harry tried his hardest to hide his excitement, but he really was fizzing over with the idea of getting to pick some toys out. 

“Toy shop,” she nodded. 

*** 

“Fuckin’ hell, bit busy in here innit?” Harry said as they were suddenly surrounded by stressed out adults with trollies piled high as overly cheery Christmas music blasted at an almost deafening level probably doing the opposite of the desired effect of retail therapy music. With everyone seemingly want to be in the large store for the least amount of time as they possibly could

“It’s two and a half weeks until Christmas, lovie, of course it is,” she clutched his hand in hers, scared he was going to get distracted and wander off. If she could put one of those backpacks with the leash attached you put on toddlers with a proclivity for an escaping act, she absolutely would. 

They made haste for the aisle that had the pink, sparkly shelf edging and header cards. “How many bloody princesses are there nowadays?” Harry gaped, overwhelmed by the boxed dolls. 

“Loads, we should watch some of ‘em on Disney+” Y/N said, as she picked up a princess craft set and tucked it under her arm. 

“What about this one, look, y’get three dolls in it,” Harry pointed towards the box. 

“Nah, Snow White’s in it, she’s shit,” Y/N eyed the box, before picking up a three pack with Rapunzel, Mulan and Tiana and shoving that one under her arm instead. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Harry sounded affronted, “she’s got all her seven dwarf mates, hasn’t she?” 

“She’s boring Harry, and frankly an idiot, who eats an apple off a stranger? She got what was coming to her,” Y/N rolled her eyes walking further down the aisle as Harry laughed, picking up the Snow White box for their godson too. 

*** 

As they walked round the shop picking up bits and pieces, they both got lost in their own heads. Seeing various parents and guardians and extended family members walking round with their child’s letters to Santa, written in a wonky script with chunky multicoloured crayons. Maybe one day if their lucky the pair of them would be doing the exact same thing with their own children. Y/N could picture sitting at a table with a child the perfect mixture of her and Harry as they wrote their letter to the big man. She could also picture herself in one of these toy shops a few years down the line, trying to reign him in from buying one of everything for their babies, but knowing he would go home and order a few more bits online anyway. Harry could see it too, pushing their baby round in their pram, too young to realise what was going on anyway but seeing their little eyes widen at all the bright colours and shapes. Y/N getting annoyed at him when he kept putting extra gifts in the trolley when she wasn’t looking but managing to placate her when he explained he was just excited and thanked her for giving him his children and that was the best gift he could ever receive. She would love that line and Harry would know that and use it to his advantage when he needed. 

They would encourage their child to play with whatever toys they wanted, just like Y/N’s godson did, letting them enjoy whatever they wanted. Harry was in bliss in his little dream world in his head and didn’t even notice that Y/N had led him to the checkouts to pay for everything. 

“I’m sure the little girl in your life will love these,” the checkout operator scanned through everything as Y/N began to bag it up.

“Little boy,” Y/N said with an overly friendly smile as popped the box with Snow White in it into the bag. 

“Excuse me?” the person manning the till seemed confused. 

“It’s for our godson,” Harry piped up, with a firm tone in his voice, putting his card in the machine before Y/N could fight him on it. 

“Oh, well, well we have lots of action figures and cars on offer if you would like to see those,” the couple are sure the operator think they are being helpful, but it’s really not landing with the pair. 

“H, how do you feel about toy cars?” Y/N whipped round to Harry as he pushed his PIN in, he knew she was annoyed and angered by the member of staff’s ignorance.  

“Eh, they’re alright, what about you?” Harry asked playing along with Y/N’s game. 

“Love ‘em personally, what about the princesses?” she asked, knowing the staff member was listening in. 

“Well Snow White is my favourite, you?” he smirked, sliding his card back into his wallet, hearing the till begin to make a whirring noise as it prepared the receipt. 

“Not that fussed to be honest,” Y/N shrugged before turning to the operator, “have a nice day,” she smiled, maybe a tiny fraction of her being a little bit patronising. As Harry nodded to the staff member before lifting one of the carrier bags and exiting the shop. 

———

Advent Calendar Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[cidthesquid]

Fashion Dreamer Update-Better than ever! #3

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Quite a bit has changed since my last post.(1/29)

If you've been playing, what do you think Of Fashion Dreamer? *Let me know in the comments!) ...Anyway, Back to my thoughts on the game!

So when I last checked in a few months back, and I mentioned that while I liked the game overall, it felt a bit lite on content. I was also worried that the limited time events or 'fairs' were the only thing keeping the game interesting. Well the game has seen some changes since then, the first of which being adjustments to goals for the fairs:

Previously, each of the tiers would require you to do the same task anywhere from 1-3 times, and with the small handful of task available, This made them feel VERY repetitive,

The newest event has greatly reduced the number of challenges needed for each reward tier, making them much less daunting of a task. I'm sure some would argue this means people can 'speed through them' and complete them too quickly. But honestly, I just see this new setup as more realistic for casual players like me, as before I almost felt forced to through together low effort (or just plain bad) outfits just to meet the goals.

If they wanted to make a compromise, maybe let people run through the task list a second or third time after completion for additional rewards, such as extra outfit recipe items. Iit's kinda silly that we only get 'One' of each of the fair items, it means, they just sit in my inventory unused, as I won't be able to figure out how to decorate my one use rare item. But regardless, I'm still glad to see the game updated with new fair, and new items! (even if 'offline mode' is still very much an afterthought)

---- And for the next big change:

We can Actually save and display our favorite outfits! I forget what this feature is called, but this 'look book' style feature, is really fun. It's not just a great way to store your outfits, but it also remembers what muse was wearing it!

It has different sections, so you can keep things organized, and you can even change the background and pose, making it a great way to show off your various outfits! --- I've been having fun jumping back in from time to time, here are a few of the outfits I've made for others recently:

And I've done a few for my own mues as well:

But yeah, I just wanted to post an update to mention that I'm still really enjoying this game, even if I don't play it a ton. Just as I mentioned last time, it REALLY needs to make offline a viable option for more than just 1-2 hours of fun, but that would be hard with how the game currently designed.

Photo mode, and the photo egg also feel a little restrictive, I really feel like opening up the camera adjustments would really help allow for more creatively. I often find the camera bumping into the ground, or locking rotations, keeping me from getting the shot I want.

And as much as I love the photoEgg it feels like the setting are more locked off than in the standard drone cam. But luckily, all this is stuff that can could be fixed with an update, and they've already shown they're willing to make improvements over time. So I'll keep checking in, and completing fairs, as I've said, this game is not style savvy, and it's not those p2w fashion games you'll find on the app store. This game's emphasis on community is something unique, and I can't wait to see how it evolves over time!

--- Thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun making this, so I hope you had fun reading it as well. As always, all comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome! You literally can't bother me, unless you go out of your way to be a jerk, so post whatever you want to say!

[scorpiongrassfield]

You Look for Paint

Start | Prev

The paint section is a little overwhelming. 

“What kind of paint does Theo use?” Pat asks, looking around. 

“...Oil paint?” 

Pat snorts. “Okay, but what brand? Did you see any tubes while you were in his studio?” 

“...I’m going to ask him,” you say. 

You shoot him a text, and he responds promptly with the brand he prefers. 

Something occurs to you.

You ask what specific colors he was using for his hanged man painting. 

It takes him a little longer to respond, but he does tell you in the end. 

He asks why you’re asking, and you leave the text unanswered for now. He’ll find out when you and Pat give him the paint, after all. 

You relay the information to Pat. 

“... We might want to get a basket for our stuff, actually,” Pat says, seeming to consider the logistics of carrying loose tubes of paint around for the remainder of being in the store for the first time. 

“That might help, yeah,” you say. You go back and get one. 

Once you know what paints to look for, parsing the paint aisle is a lot easier. You pick out the colors that Theo listed and place them in the basket one by one. 

Once you’re done, you look back to Pat. 

“That all?” they ask. 

You nod. 

“Nice. Now, onto the supplies,” they say. 

You roll your eyes as you follow them through the store. 

First is a pack of pens in different colors. 

“Gotta have a fresh set,” they say as they put them in the basket. 

Next is a very small sketchbook. “I don’t think we’ll have many photos for this one, so we’re gonna have to do some drawing,” they say. 

They add a pack of sticky notes and some thumb tacks as well. 

You’re starting to get an idea of where they’re going with this. 

“And last, we’ve got some yarn,” they say, adding small skeins of  black, pink, blue, gray, and yellow yarn to the basket. 

“We’re not going to get a board to put this all on?” you ask. 

Pat smiles, “No, we’ve got a board at the motel still,” they say. 

You don’t point out that you also have thumb tacks and yarn there, too, but you think it. 

“So did you guess it, then?” they ask as you head to the checkout. 

“We’re making another conspiracy board, right?” 

“Ding ding ding. Gold star for the boy in the black hoodie,” they say. 

You huff a laugh. “You’re way to excited about this,” you say, but you don’t really mean it. 

“Hey, we have to find joy were we can in life. And if life hands me a weird mystery that has concerning implications about how I view reality, then by god it’s my right to have fun making a murder board about it,” they say with conviction. 

“Fair enough.” You can’t really argue with that. 

The conversation fizzles out as Pat greets the cashier and pays for all the supplies. 

“We’re gonna visit with Theo again tomorrow,” Pat says as you exit the store. 

“Not today?” 

“Nah, we’re gonna give him some time to adjust to the changes we’ve made so far. Let him think on what else he might want to do before he goes,” they say as they open the driver’s side door. 

You get in on the passenger’s side, leaning into the back to place the bag of stuff on the floor before turning around to buckle in. 

“What are we going to do about Concrete?” you ask. 

“I’m not sure. Theo won’t move on until Concrete has a good home, I’m almost certain. But. I also don’t think he’ll accept it if a stranger is the one taking care of him,” Pat muses as they back out of the parking spot. 

“Maybe we could ask around at the diner? It sounds like Theo would be able to trust some of them,” you say. 

Pat shakes their head. “Nah, I already asked. No one in the market for a cat there, unfortunately,” they sigh. 

“... Could we take care of Concrete?” you hedge. 

“Well. Technically speaking, until the sale closes on the new house, we don’t have a place to live. Since the last one, y’know, burned down,” Pat says. 

When you don’t respond, they continue. “Which means that I’m not sure we have the capacity to take care of Concrete properly right now.” 

“The motel allows pets, though. And it’s not like we’re staying there forever,” you point out. 

“That’s true… I guess we’d have to talk it over with Angie. Since she’s the one we’re crashing with when we get done here,” they say. 

“Who is Angie?” you ask. The name has come up before. 

“She’s a friend of ours. We play tabletop games together on tuesday nights, and sometimes go to pride events together. She’s also a counselor that works with the local lgbtq resource center,” Pat explains. 

“Oh. That’s cool,” you say. You wish you could remember, she sounds nice. 

“Yeah. I think she’s just far enough away from what you consider to be a doctor for your phobia to not kick in. Which is good, because she’s a real gem of a person,” they say. 

“Sounds like it,” you agree. “Does she like cats?” 

Pat chuckles. “She does, but there’s a difference between liking cats and agreeing to take one in after you’re already doing your friends a favor by letting them crash at your place, you know?” 

“Oh. Yeah I guess so.” 

“Like I said, I’ll talk to her about it. And we’ll have to talk it over with Theo, too. Concrete is his cat, after all.” 

That seems reasonable enough. 

“Have you ever had a cat before?” you ask. 

“Nope. Most animals don’t like me much. I think it’s because I spend so much time around ghosts. Most animals don’t like ghosts either,” Pat explains. 

“Concrete must like Theo a lot then, to still like him now that he’s a ghost,” you muse. 

“Yeah, seems like it. It’s sweet,” Pat says. 

Pat hasn't put any music on, so the silence that follows is filled only with the sound of rain starting to hit the windshield. 

It makes you feel uneasy. 

You turn the music back on. 

It's not long after that that Pat stops in at a drive through. They make a pointed comment about you not having eaten any lunch, so you agree to eat the food procured here once you get back.

Next

[pandorafallz]

Vampire AU | Back to training

Kung felt very out of place.

Even as she sat in the ring of giant blue people with making thread and some were already weaving on smaller looms. Some beads were brought from the other groups further down for those with completed weaves and now decorating their pieces.

Despite feeling out of place, the instructions for threading were easy to follow given they were hand-held spindles and it kept her hands busy. Kung was sure she was going to be introduced to a small loom before the day’s work was done. But despite her hands being busy, her mind was left to wander and she didn’t like that mental free-space.

It made her anxious.

At camp, she liked keeping track of all the tasks that needed to be done; checking the tarps were covered by moss between the roots. Make sure the sleeping tent doesn’t have any punctures otherwise, they’d be sleeping in masks, checking food storage, helping gather safe foods to eat, and butchering that animal. Work after work and list after list and all of that mental work paid off in making sure their camp was safe and stocked up.

She missed that. She was worried enough that their camp was already unattended as it was....

“Are you okay?”

Her head turned to see Sully of all people wheeling beside her. She eyed him stiffly, watching as he was handed a spindle and he got to work with trained ease with the fibre strands.

“Yep,” Kung said, turning back to her thread. Running a thumb over it to make sure it was smooth and had some level of consistency in size. She ignored his eyes on her.

“Sweet tattoos, by the way. I take it they were important in your life?”

She shifted her arm, sparing a look at the tattoo on the top of her arms with some level of pride. Each arm had one. “My parents.” She said simply, “They inspired me a lot growing up and shaped me into the woman I am today.”

“At least your tattoos have more meaning. I have this.” He set the spindle down, lifting up his left shoulder to expose some pitiful text tattooed into his arm.

“Born Loser?” Kung raised an eyebrow at him. That was hardly a good tattoo.

Sully laughed, dropping his sleeve. “I was drunk when I got it…after I was medically cleared.” He patted the side of his wheel to indicate the when.

“Ah.” She could see why he’d want to be drunk. It was no simple injury and no bouncing back from it either. Injuries for life were the hardest to adjust to. “Do you regret it?”

Sully spared a long moment at his arm. “No. Still feels pretty accurate right now.”

“Self-deprecating much, Jake?” Carr called from the other side of the ring with a smirk.

Sully blew a raspberry at the woman. “At least I didn’t get Asshole tattooed on my arm instead. That was the one I was gonna go for but got convinced out of by another guy getting a tat in the other chair.”

“Smart guy,” Kung replied.

Sully chuckled. “Yep, he knew I was in a bad place and thought better for me. He might have been a vet, now that I think about him.” He mused thoughtfully at his arm then shrugged then looked back to her. “I get you’re feeling a little….awkward but don’t worry, you’ll settle in with everyone but…you gotta relax a little and talk to people.”

“I’m not good with…personal talk or chit-chat,” Kung said tightly. “I gave orders and people followed.”

“Talk to Nadine then, you Captain?”

“Major,” Kung said.

“Wow, you worked your way up quite well.”

“My life was dedicated to service. I wanted to be Colonel or General….but did not gonna happen.” It was a shame but…she had dug her grave and so, she had to lie in it. Service and loyalty was her life, treason aside here.

“Your life is more than just service to the state…or to the RDA. You gotta learn how to live a little.” Sully said continuing with his spindle and began to prep a new thread. “How about this, talk to Nad. Out of everyone that’s not you, she’s got the highest military-ranking human that might be easier to talk to. She struggled a lot to find her place and it took others to help and her willing to adjust to find her happy place.” He nodded towards the far side; to a bunch of Na’vi women with kids and the distinct little human woman between them at a fire.

Kung’s eyes turned to observe a little, noting if for a second the glint of prostheses in the light as they helped with food preparations. “They making food already?”

“Lunch is spread out so it’s not communally, also much like breakfast. Dinner time is when everyone sits around the fire to eat as a community.” Sully added. “We didn’t use to partake in dinner but they’ve started to allow us to stay for that. Humans are sitting together and we tend to talk about our jobs. If you want to stay for that, you can.”

“I’ll think about it.” She’d make no promises but she could see her daughter was already fast-bonding with the group at nut-cracking. Though her head tilted as she eyed the Na’vi woman she was talking to with a clear bump of pregnancy to…see she had five fingers. “Wait, we got more avatars here?”

“Hm?” Sully leant away, craning his head to see who she was talking about before he chuckled. “That’s Kim. She used to be an avatar driver but clashed with the RDA years back and her human body died as a result. An allied clan saved both her and Jerome—her husband—by transferring their minds into their avatars.”

Kung felt her eyes widen in surprise. “That’s possible?!”

Sully nodded. “It is.”

“How?”

Sully sighed deeply. “Short answer is…Eywa.”

Kung’s surprise melted straight to disbelief. Really? That. “You buy into that crap?”

Sully shrugged, “It’s…hard to explain. In all honesty, I get where you’re coming from because…that was me a few weeks ago. I…knew the Na’vi had a concept of Eywa and I respected that they had it but wasn’t a believer myself…till last week.” He scratched at the stubble on his face thoughtfully. “I have an avatar so…I could physically connect to understand. You don’t…none of the humans have a way to connect to understand.”

Kung eyes Sully for a moment then shakes her head.

“I don’t know if I believe,” Wu said from across the ring, looking at her little loom of work. “But I’m not gonna knock it. Like…anyone with an avatar seems to believe and with five avatar drivers and most being scientists suddenly believing…that kinda has to say something, right?”

Kung shrugged. “Don’t expect me to start prayers. I need more than just…people’s word on magical Bull shit.”

“Give it time, Kung,” Carr said lightly. “You’re SecOps, a soldier. I’m not surprised you’re resistant to both change and spiritual connections. You’re in the wrong headspace.”

That felt a little insult and she felt the rise of a bitter retort but held it back last second. She shouldn’t have to respond and… Bree had wanted her to try. She didn’t like scientists. At least soldiers and miners did their jobs and didn’t talk back to her face. She had other things to do than this idol chit-chat. She elected to ignore Carr, turning her attention back down to her spindling. She could at least try to do what Bree had asked...for their first day at least.

“<Why is this woman angry?>” A teenage boy asked, gently sewing what looked like a head ornament together with bones and twine.

“<She’s a soldier who doesn’t want to change>,” Carr said, “<Soldiers are the hardest to get out of the mindset of war or battle. Chances are she’ll drop out and to someone to be a warrior or hunter instead.>”

“<I can understand every word you’re saying.>” Kung snapped.

Carr and…well most of the group seemed to pivot their heads to her in surprise. At least Carr had the decency to blush at being caught out.

“<You know Na’vi?>”

“<Of course I do.>” Kung scoffed, “<I may be a soldier but I’m not a full-out jarhead. I wasn’t gonna be deaf to insults or anything because it’s a different language.>” She gave Carr a sour look. “<Just because I was a soldier, it doesn’t mean you can talk shit about me or what I am going to do with my life outside of the RDA.>”

Carr’s jaw clenched a little but with a nudge from Wu, Car nodded with a short and brief “Sorry.”.

Kung hummed, but she felt the lingering spite remain in her veins. Carr expected her to drop out. A scientist? Did the woman think she was too good to be doing this and that moving onto another job that was more in her expertise was what? Convenient? That she was cheaping out on this for something easier?

Bitch.

Fuelled a little more with spite, Kung eyes Carr’s work; her quality of thread and what she was doing. Fine, she’d do this but she’d do it better than her in particular.

 -

Spite turned out to be a good motivator, even as Carr buggered off to another chore, Kung decided to stick to textiles.

Bree seemed to join her happily after some time.

“How are you doing?” She asked, far too brightly and bubbly for her personal and current mood.

“Better,” Kung said tightly, pausing briefly to allow her daughter to pick up and feel the yarn and thread she was working on. This stuff, she noted would be something good in a loom; it looked similar-- just smaller—to the ones many Na’vi women were working with. “Spite’s a good instigator for better work”

“Ma..” Bree’s tone turned disapproving. “You’re supposed to be making friends with these people.”

“She started it. Backchating to the others in Na’vi and didn’t think I’d understand her.” she shook her head. “Childish, if you ask me.”

Bree rolled her eyes but turned her attention to the woman beside her, her current tutor in this task. What was her name again? Yengo? No, the memory resurfaced briefly. Yeyongo <How’s my mother’s progress?>”

“<Adaptive,>,” Yeyongo said, peering down at her current creation. “<She’s picked up fast in the last few hours but…with a sense of anger in her movements. Such moods may affect your quality of work>”

“<Quality of work?>” Kung echoed with a frown. “<It’s just spindling and weaving.>”

Yeyongo tutted, “< No. Our work is…a piece of ourselves. We created our work as if they are art. To be made and worn with pride. They are pieces of ourselves made into fabric, our story and emotions. Anger and resentment may make thread but it will not produce a good result with fabric made in happiness and contentment It clashes in its quality and how you see your creations.>”

“<She’s right, Ma.>” Bree added, “I can’t stay, I’m going up to visit Mo’at. She wants to talk to me.”

“Alright.”

Bree patted her on the shoulder warmly, then departed swiftly up the spiral, her mask filter threatening to pop off its belt as she went. She should probably fix that… later.

“The Na’vi see their work more than just manual labour.” Sully carried on, “It’s not a community where you work till you drop like the RDA. Neytiri told me that the Omatikaya have this saying, ‘If you do a job correctly, then I shouldn’t never need to be done again’. So you can spend as much time as you want on a project to perfect it.”

“I’m not here to be domesticated, Sully.”

“Why not? You’re not a soldier out here, you can’t live off survival training based off of out-of-date Earth-terrain forever.”

Kung glowered a little but she hated the fact he had a goddamn point. Shit. “It’s worked so far.” A pathetic excuse, she hated the words the moment they left her mouth. “I mean, it can be applied to Pandora quite easily. Earth was very much the same.”

“Not with the animals, or the plants you know zilch about. Bree isn’t a scientist you can rely on out here, she’s trained in Xenolinguistics. Some insect bites here are lethal to humans. I barely escaped on my avatar’s life when I ran into a Slinth. You can’t assume your Earth-knowledge would work here. The Omatikaya have Gatherers. You should talk to them about the best things to look out for or to avoid since they’re foraging the most in the jungle. They know plants and fruits and tracks better than anyone.”

Despite the feeling of being lectured, Sully made some excellent points. She should talk to the people who lived here the most. Gatherers. She hadn’t considered them of all people. “Where…do I find the gatherers?”

“A few stick around the tree line. Today most are out but they’ll be about for dinner. I can point some out to you then. Uawaì is the main gatherer, his mate works with the cooks. If he doesn’t help you then his daughter should.” Sully explained.

Kung found herself nodding, though took a moment to think but let her hands get back to work.

 -

Jake was glad to see Kung actually take his advice after lunch was passed around and head off to find the Na’vi in question. Bree had floated about a bit but disappeared somewhat so he began to roll through Hometree in search for her though paused as Ruzu steamed straight past with a Toruk toy and his little sister chasing after him.

“<Moron, that’s mine!”> She was shouting after him

Jake’s mental…translation was a little slow but he was glad to be picking up enough to follow enough. Typical siblings. It made him chuckle a little but rolled on.

Mingxia was making paint alone when he crossed her.

“Ming, you see Bree anywhere?”

She looked up then shook her head. “Last I saw she wanted a private corner. Didn’t see where.”

“She okay?”

Ming paused a little. “Probably just overwhelmed.”

Jake continued his search, taking longer than he’d like as his wheel got caught on a few roots but he had hoped she hadn’t gone up the spiral; that’d mean someone else would find her. But, thankfully, someone saw her tuck away into a small crevice so he followed the general direction to the far side where there were a few supporting roots that he saw the edge of a mask filter in the almost unnoticeable crack in the root.

It was a small crack really, too small for a Na’vi to fit in and not big enough that he could roll in so he knew what he had to do to get in. Jake slipped down from his chair and began to crawl forward.

Bree was…very small so she was clearly comfortable in the crevice that appeared to expand out a larger internal opening. Inside there was glowing moss and small plants along the inside but it was hampered a little by the glowing light of a flashlight resting above to illuminate Bree more. She was clearly plugged into music; he could hear it echoing through her earbuds and she looked to be…drawing in a book, it seemed.

She hadn’t noticed his arrival until he was crawling the hallway through and jumped.

“Fuck—oh, you—“ She yanked out her ear pods. “Jake, you could have let me come out!”

Jake pulled himself into a sitting position, adjusting his legs. “Na, it’s kinda cosy here. Nice spot.”

Bree huffed, looking around. “It is.” She agreed, gently setting the pods into her charging case. “Was someone looking for me? Ma?”

“No, I was. I came to check in on you. Haven’t seen you since lunch. Though you might gotten lost or something. Hometree is massive for us like this.”

Bree sighed. “Just…needed some time away. Everyone’s so talkative and showing me all these things I should learn. It’s…a lot.”

Jake nodded in understanding. “You need processing time, I get it. The first day is always the most exhausting day. Not only are you learning new skills but…people and where everything is.”

“Yeah…” Bree leant her head back. “Ma’s good? Not gotten into a fight with anyone?”

Jake chuckled at the remark. “Not yet, maybe if Ruby keeps her opinion to herself a little more.” It was no surprise there was some tension. He didn’t know Kung at all but he knew Ruby well enough. The scientist had a cold shoulder towards a good portion of SecOps. “I’m surprised your mother got so riled up so easily by Ruby. She was head of MineOps, wasn’t she?”

Bree shrugged, “She only riles easily when she’s stressed. Leaving Hell’s Gate was one thing but joining everyone else here…is another. She left on the account of me breaking her out, not necessarily by her own choice.” Bree straightened out her legs a little. “She usually finds a man to destress with but that ain’t happening out here.” Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she said that.

“I’m sure she’ll adapt. Once she gets used to it.”

“Yeah.” Bree agreed almost sounding tired about it.

“Aside from…avoiding people, what are you doing in here?” He pointed look to what she had in her lap. A…book and pencil. It looked…expensive, now that he was seeing the book. A proper leather, hardback book that surely was…costly. Books like this hardly existed on earth. Everything was digital unless it was study-books or some expensive shit.

“Hm? Oh, this?” She shrugged. “I like drawing. It’s…very soothing.” Her fingers touched over the front cover with warmth. “Helps me find peace, you know.”

“Where did you find a hardback book?”

Bree chuckled. “My paternal grandparents. My grandmother owned a bookshop in South Korea for a time. Ma used to leave us with them while she went on tour for a few weeks at a time. My grandfather used to make books as well which sold well. He made this for my 16th birthday as a gift.”

“Wow. That is some gift. I’m amazed books are still being made!”

Bree chuckled. “My grandparents lived more…rurally and inherited it from a long line of paper-makers. So they had a lot of land by the time we were born. They had portions rented to companies which gave them another solid income to further protect the land from being stolen and abused. They had tree saplings put into cycles of growth to ensure they had back-ups for when the trees have to be uprooted and processed.”

“I had no idea that was…even a thing still. I…suppose I didn’t pay too much attention to what’s outside of America.”

“America is the second to worst country off in this day and age…which is saying something… but that’s RDA controls a lot of companies on Earth.” Bree shrugged. “Ma did raise us in America for a while but I always preferred Korea. If Ma hadn’t taken us with her, I probably would have stayed with them and helped out.”

“They must have loved you a lot.” Jake mused warmly, almost jealous.

“They lost their only son in war but got two granddaughters out of it. They weren’t fond of Ma but…they loved us a lot.” She sighed deeply.

“You must miss them.”

“I do.” She stared into space for a moment. “They weren’t happy about us leaving but… Ma didn’t want to leave us behind and disappear off for 18 years. I wanted to go and…see a world of trees that wasn’t guarded…or see a world of life.” Her eyes turned sad. “They must have been devastated when Raina’s death reached them.”

Jake said nothing to that, but he put an empathetic pat on her shin.

Bree opened her book after a moment, flicking through the first few pages then…turned it to face him.

He blinked in surprise at…the image she had drawn. It was…very realistic in a way; carefully drawn head, only it was mostly detailed in the face; eyes closed and expression looking as if they’re in sleep. It was…oddly familiar in a sense he had seen the attention to the face somewhere. But the image he was seeing was… of an eldered Korean woman, her face lined with age and yet held a graceful curl to the corners of her lips.

“Your grandmother?” He guessed.

Bree nodded and flipped it over for a man also in the same age as the woman.  “My grandfather. My sister…” She flipped it again a few more pages in where a younger face was presented to him.

Very... similar to Bree’s appearance but… while Bree had a slimmer jawline and more delicate features, Raina’s chin was more pronounced, setting her jaw at a slightly different angle and thinner lips. Raina’s expression looked to have more of a frown in what he assumed was a natural state.

“Just…their faces?” Jake asked, pushing the page to see…most of the pictures were mostly of that; their face.

Bree nodded softly. “I got inspired by… the guy in Game of Thrones who collects faces off the dead in Braavos. My Book of Faces”

That was an unexpected answer…and mildly terrifying out of context so he was a little glad that this wasn’t out in the open. But, he could see…the inspiration. Sleeping faces. Unique faces yet unlike a portrait that displayed a lively face.

“Who…do you choose to go in here?”

“People who are either close or…have interesting faces. The Na’vi are…new and certainly are interesting.” Bree flipped it open halfway where…Jake noticed she had been sketching out the basic starter lines for….

“Eytukan?”

“He’s got an interesting face.” Bree shrugged, “Very high cheekbones, slim jaw, wide mouth, and large eyes. The proportions are very different to…Mo’at’s face. She’s got a very….aesthetically pleasing bone structure in comparison but I plan to finish the chief’s face first.” She pulled the book back though she perked up with an idea. “Wait, can I draw you in both bodies?”

Jake snorted. “If you want…I guess.”

“Like…it’d interesting to see the human vs the Na’vi-Avatar one; the similarities and differences.” Bree mused, eyeing him carefully.

“If you come about our camp, you can sit and stare at my avatar as long as you want. Or maybe ask anyone else with an avatar as well. They might be up for it?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Bree grinned.

 -

It was a few days with Bree and Kung settled into the same routine as the rest of them, things were once again back to the new normal. Weed was still growing taller and the other plants were growing into life and… for the better more seeds like bell peppers and chilli seeds were germinating in their shack.

Jake was slinking down from the Ikran with Tsu’tey who had picked them up, Neytiri had run over with her patrols and had to finish up with her mother before she’d come to him, at least, that was what Tsu’tey had told him.

“Wait up!” Nadine tugged on his tail, hoping to kick her prosthesis leg back into life. “sleepy leg is more literal. Gotta go manual!” Jake paused long enough to retrieve his tail from her hand then carried on with her hurried little steps.

“Want me to pick you up, shorty?”

“Says the guy who’s four foot in his wheelchair.” Nadine poked her tongue up at him.

“I’m five foot ten if I wasn’t in my chair.” Jake pointed out. “You’re already an entire foot down than what you used to be…” He added with a grin.

She gasped in mock offence, her hands coming to her chest. “Prick.” She winked then jumped the last few feet from the spiral to head towards the gatherers before—

“Jake! Nadine!”

Jake turned, almost expecting to look down at a human but he was met with Ruby in her avatar with Harper and Ming as her little minion shadows.

“Everything okay?” Jake asked.

“Yes just…. we need you two for a moment”

Cursedly, Jake followed the three towards a small circle where a tablet was set up on a log so he crouched as the others sat down and Ruby took the tablet

“Is this…some sort of intervention for me?” Jake teased.

Ming snorted and shook her head

“Look, we’ve been waiting over a week to properly talk to you.” The short woman demanded, “We spoke to Nadine who’s gonna help but we want to run over what we want with you as part of the deal. Between your training and catching up on rest… getting you early has been hard.”

“I told her to run it by you as well,” Nadine added, the look of realisation crossing her face as this seemed to click with her; what it was all about. “You’re good at directing people, Jake.”

Jake stared at her blankly for a moment before the rush of memory caught up with him. “Oh wait, is this what you were going on about after I had my communion with Eywa?” He had forgotten about that, in all honesty. Wrapped up in his own bubble that day. God, he had been so…passive. He needed to change that, start doing more than just listening and…fucking help more.

“Yes.” Ruby said in exasperation and throwing her arms up, “We want two shacks at the very least but we need help. I wanna give Zeke a shack so I can bang my boyfriend without needing to worry!”

Jake snorted but he took the tablet she had in her hands. On it showed a few dots on a map of the region and terrain with the landmarks Hometree, Hell’s Gate and a few coloured dots were displayed. “These the locations?”

“Yep. One is a dual-module site which has more link beds. We can take both but prioritise the main habitual one. I think having spare link beds is ideal.” Ruby pointed to the closest dot to Hometree.

Jake couldn’t help but agree. He was no engineer and he didn’t know Morgan’s skills but… this was smart to have back-ups. He hadn’t needed to worry but… well in a rush or if their camp was found…they needed them—he needed that.

“The second site is further out and has two modules but no link beds.”

“We could prioritise that site over the first?” Harper suggested. “We should be smarter about this.”

“That’s four habitual modules in total. Two trips if we can both pilot and carry.” Ming said, looking at the data. “Zeke can still fly so that gives us an escort.”

“Three living spaces.” Nadine mused. “We should take what we can at those sites, it’ll be more efficient to get all the modules, Harper.”

“The third could go to the Kung duo so they have a secure place to be.” Jake suggested, he hadn’t personally seen the two’s camp yet but it sounded like it was a tent pitched under some tree roots. Hardly secure if a pack of Viperwolves got involved.

“We’ll run it past them.” Ruby agreed, “I forgot their living situation.”

“So three shacks, and a link module. It’s a little short notice to do it now but…maybe tomorrow. I can try and convince Neytiri to join us? Fucking the RDA over a little might just make her a little happier.” Jake suggested with a smirk because he sure as hell enjoyed this idea. “Maybe Tsu’tey if he’s not training someone.” The guy looked pretty busy so he doubted but… it seemed polite to offer given how much fun Tsu’tey was having at breaking the dozers.

“Hm, sure, but she should fly at a distance once we’re up in the air. If we’re caught on long-range scanners, having an Omatikaya escort might draw the wrong attention.” Harper remarked.

“Do you think they’re gonna be scanning that far out?” Nadine cocked her head.

“You think they’re not? They’re actively searching for us; any trace of a rogue Samson is gonna pull their attention.”

“Fuck… then we gotta sort something out. If they’re looking for us—“

“What about night time?” Ming asked, interrupting, “Sorry, Trinity but…night time, the RDA isn’t gonna be sending out a ship. They can’t. Colonel’s orders forbid night-flights for sake of security unless Hell’s Gate is more dangerous than the forest. Even if we were caught on scanners, they’d have to wait till morning to send ships and by then we’ll be long-gone.”

Jake’s ears perked up a little at the thought. Night. That…made plausible sense and one that…would cut the risks down significantly. “That’s a good idea. But… I do feel the need to ask this but have you got a storage spot for what modules we don’t straight out use?”

“There’s a huge cave system in the Hallelujah Mountains we could use for storage, or there’s an underground cave system in a ravine about seven miles away from Hometree’s sister tree.” Ruby nodded towards the far root, where they couldn’t quite see over the treeline with the arch of the root blocking their way.

“I would suggest the mountains because of the Flux Vortex that’s covering our tracks but…it’s incredibly dangerous.” Ming worried for a moment, her nails tapping anxiously on the front of her mask. “Chacon’s the most trained to navigate the mountain than any of us.”

“What’s the flux vortex?”

“It’s… an energy field around the mountains that interferes with our technology. We can’t use tracking or navigation equipment. We have to do it by eye-balling and praying Hail Mary.”

Jake had a distinct feeling it was the basic, dumbed-down version but he was glad for it. “What if we use the mountains as a pit-stop? We park the shacks up there for a few days, see if they RDA notice and try and find them. If they don’t, we move them out and into a new location once we’re sure the RDA can’t track any Samsons.”

“Not a bad idea. If they’re found, they’ll have a dead-end search ahead of them.” Nadine mused, “But it’ll burn a lot of fuel. We need to account for that.”

“We have some spare fuel we can give if you need it. We can trade it for some junk parts of the scraps of Morgan’s Scorpion. He said he had it recovered for parts when his link-shack needed new wiring?” Ming suggested thoughtfully, “I wanna have a look at what’s salvable.”

“We keep it where we’ve stashed Nad’s Samson.” Jake said, “I’m sure you can have a look later.”

“I can take you,” Nad said. “There’s this plant called Burnfiber we can use to create more fuel but it’ll take time to create once we can distil the resin out.”

They continued discussing details of the locations before it was decided both sites would need to be scoped out fully for a day to ensure they wouldn’t be either in use or on an RDA sweep. They’d need both caves to also be scoped out for size, capacity and accessibility, permissions given Jake had heard the mountains were considered in high regard so Ruby was given the task to talk to Eytukan on their plans of storage. Also, they had all produced lists of desired items that they could take from the shack, from viable food supplies to machinery and tools. Kung had been pulled into for her part on what she’d want.

Kung agreed to a shack and it supplies that she could have but hadn’t yet thought of a place to keep it as the roots of the tree their camp was under weren’t deep enough to hide one; she’d look into the area they were in first while the shacks were secured.

“We should also think of setting up a radio station once we’ve all got radios. Something we can encrypt but also properly have someone listening in on the line for the RDA. The RDA use chatter all the time for updates on mobile teams and positions, it’s be useful for the Na’vi as well if we can tap into that for them.” Harper added after a moment, her nails clinking against the chin of her mask. “We could set up a place in Hometree? Keep it tucked out of sight?”

Ruby scoffed, “Doubt Eytukan will agree to it. It’s metal, alien tools. He hates that sort of stuff.”

“I’m sure he could be convinced if it’s fruitful.”

The voice of Neytiri was loud, almost dry but Jake jumped straight to his feet, his heart leaping “Fuck!”

“My god….” Ruby’s tail was up, ears high in alarm before twitching back down. “Neytiri…”

Neytiri chuckled in delight. “I’ve been here a while. Did none of you notice?”

“No…” Ming whined, “Shit….sorry, we were supposed to help. We got…so into our discussion and plans.”

“I heard. It sounded important so I didn’t interrupt.” Neytiri said, “But you will need to run the storage of your metal homes notion past my father first. Some caves on our lands are used for ritual ceremonies or for migration of certain species are currently absent at this time of season. If the sites are neither then he should have little reason to turn you down. It is more appealing to have less of your metal spread around so much.”

“Okay.” Ruby nodded, running a hand through her hair.

“Come.” Neytiri beckoned Jake to follow and so he did, after all, he had training he really should be doing after all.

 -

The string dug into his fingers as he pulled the bow back. Trying to keep his arm straight was moving hard but the adjustment Neytiri was making to his stance was certainly lesser than what she used to be doing so he knew his body was learning well.

“Go.” She said.

Jake let out his breath as he let go of the string and the arrow flew. While it hit the target, it was very off-entre. He knew his mistake as he drew back for a second shot, forcing himself to reposition himself back before he could be corrected.

Neytiri swatted his elbow up a fraction higher.

It almost made him laugh.

“Go.”

The second shot was closer to the middle which… a far better improvement but Jake knew he could do better. His aim wasn’t the full problem. “I know I can hit the centre with a sling. The bow’s harder to use.”

“You’re getting better, Jake.” Neytiri said, “You’ve mentioned this Dreamwalker body needs to learn the movement so you must teach it and hone its capabilities.” Her hand touched on his elbow as he drew for this third and final shot before he’d need to collect. “It has put on new muscles and is developing well.”

Jake paused, looking down at his avatar. His arrow fell out of place as he slacked his pull-back “This body adapts faster than my mind. It’s…new and susceptible to physical development. It’s my mind that’s…slow.” He said. “I feel slow.”

“It has been a week, Jake. I do not expect you to hit the centre so cleanly within a week. If you continue well; you could become a hunter with ease. Two…maybe three months you could be allowed Iknimaya.”

Jake’s head turned to her sharply, his heart leaping in a swell of excitement. “Three months?” That was not far away, in the grand scheme of things. He…could have an Ikran. Become a respected hunter with the Omatikaya, even if he wasn’t one of them.

“If you continue to provide good dedication to your training, yes,” Neytiri said with a warm smile. “When the time is near, I will have to show you how we teach our young hunters how to tame an Ikran. It is no easy task.”

Jake nodded. Three months. He could do that. He could certainly do that. Of course, his training would subside in some areas so once he could perfect himself in those areas, he’d also have more time open up for personal time again if he wasn’t hunting. He could provide not just for the Clan but also for his camp. He felt too off to the side, but he could be more than just a side-peace. He would be a hunter. A Warrior, even but Hunter was what he wanted to be.

He also should think up a camp name for their people. His first instinct was… the military method. Alpha, bravo, Charlie but…that didn’t sound fun. They needed proper names. Ironic names would be awesome and very deceptive if done right if the RDA ever caught word of their camp.

“Your sky-people clothes are not well suited to hunting.” Neytiri spoke, “You could…wear a loincloth. That’s more suited to the forest.” She reached and pulled at his short sleeve as she said with a strong level of disapproval.

“I could but… I don’t particularly want to. I can remake or make adjustments to my clothes that’ll tighten the fabric closer to my body.” Jake said. “I like our clothes. I know you don’t.”

Neytiri tisked a little. “It’s…odd that you cover so much skin. It’s…unnecessary.”

“It’s a habit, Tiri.” He shrugged, “For this body at least. Humans wear clothes because Earth is…chaotic in temperatures. One minute it’s hot, next it’s cold or another it’s raining on you. Also, there’s a huge cultural stigma against showing a lot of skin which…is more of a private discussion than one at the archer's line.” He wasn’t going to go into it now.

Neytiri eyed him curiously. “Later?”

“Sure.” Jake paused though he couldn’t help but tease. “You just wanna see me a little more naked, don’t you?”

Neytiri’s eyes widened only a fraction before she tittered and slapped the back of his head lightly, making him laugh. “Back to training.”

But he didn’t hear her deny it so he certainly was taking that as a win as he redrew the bow.

Masterlist

[muu-kun]

Timeline of Mason Thompson’s Most Prominent Traumatic Events (Part 4/4)

Disclaimer: I am not the peacekeeper for what can or cannot be considered trauma. This is solely a document containing a list of what Muu has personally found to be traumatizing to him. And, yes, while nearly 90 percent of it is derived from instances between himself and other muses on tumblr, the original identities have been scraped and replaced with entirely new ones to save face. Any similarity to hereby existing muses is purely incidental. Be mindful of the numerous (but perhaps not limited to) triggers that appear in the upcoming text including: mentions of abuse, bullying, abandonment, neglect, and NUMEROUS discussions on sexual assault. I cannot express enough how frequent that appears in his history, so please proceed with caution. If you have any further questions, my IMs are always open.

Note: This one is solely a very small collection of events that Muu found to be particularly distressing to him emotionally since making his return. All take place from the time he was twenty three (going on 24) and onwards.

When he reconnected with his first ex and attempted to secure a sincere apology out of them for being emotionally abusive towards him during their relationship. Newsflash: He didn't get one. Instead, all that he gained out of it was the knowledge that those impacted by his statements believed him to be incapable of making such claims as he had been too abusive himself to warrant calling himself an abuse victim as is. Sides were picked and numerous people from his life discontinued their association with him for being an unreliable narrator for some, and a magnet for drama for the rest. Know that because of all the tremendous failure his attempt at advocating for himself turned into, he has no plans to ever describe himself as someone who experienced emotional abuse ever again. Or at least not until he is a hundred percent convinced he is a "good" person.

Team Muu vs Team ___. This one he knows he is being petty over; however, he still finds himself deeply hurt by the realization he was the lesser choice yet again. To go from being liked to cut out still comes as an adjustment to him. And frankly, he's not really sure he ever has any plans to let anyone hold even the faintest of romantic feelings for him ever again as a result. There was no one to watch leave if he never let them in to begin with.

When he thought his smile had made someone mad, so he concluded on his own that if he never showed anyone his face thereafter, they couldn't get angry at him any additional times. That one came as a hit to his heart as he had already established in his mind that his expressions of sadness and anger were a bother to people around him. He didn't know what he was going to be left to make of himself if his happiness offered the same experience.

When he reconnected with his first ex and attempted to secure a sincere apology out of them for being emotionally abusive towards him during their relationship. Newsflash: He didn't get one. Instead, all that he gained out of it was the knowledge that those impacted by his statements believed him to be incapable of making such claims as he had been too abusive himself to warrant calling himself an abuse victim as is. Sides were picked and numerous people from his life discontinued their association with him for being an unreliable narrator for some, and a magnet for drama for the rest. Know that because of all the tremendous failure his attempt at advocating for himself turned into, he has no plans to ever describe himself as someone who experienced emotional abuse ever again. Or at least not until he is a hundred percent convinced he is a "good" person.

Team Muu vs Team ___. This one he knows he is being petty over; however, he still finds himself deeply hurt by the realization he was the lesser choice yet again. To go from being liked to cut out still comes as an adjustment to him. And frankly, he's not really sure he ever has any plans to let anyone hold even the faintest of romantic feelings for him ever again as a result. There was no one to watch leave if he never let them in to begin with.

When he thought his smile had made someone mad, so he concluded on his own that if he never showed anyone his face thereafter, they couldn't get angry at him any additional times. That one came as a hit to his heart as he had already established in his mind that his expressions of sadness and anger were a bother to people around him. He didn't know what he was going to be left to make of himself if his happiness offered the same experience.

Lowkey the return of his second attempt at a relationship coming back into his life got him wilding. He can't get out of his mind the impending concern that he is inevitably going to do something of harm that will cause them to leave again, so he is putting all the energy he can into not getting attached. They are icky anyways, he says, so they aren't allowed to know he even worries about them in that way to begin with. Hmph.