#i have a shit ton of assignments coming up so the fic is going to take some time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lveclouds · 1 year ago

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↬ pairing/characters: joshua x film major reader, other members may make appearances/be mentioned

↬ genre/aus: heavy fluff, slight angst (finally i know), slight college/university au, established relationship, song au, hurt/comfort

↬ summary: in which joshua just wants his significant other to just be with him, cut off from the world.

↬ rating(s): pg15, nc17 (see warnings)

↬ tw: heavy swearing, slight angst (listen y’all know i can’t not write a bit of angst slkjfjdjf), kinda cheesy and very fluffy, you’ve been warned <3 joshua is an absolute sweetheart wbk, brief mentions of stress (being a uni student is a constant struggle), reader is a bit of a workaholic

↬ wc: 2.9k

↬ note: hello loves! the title of this fic comes from the song ‘disconnected’ by 5sos, which is honestly one of my favorite songs from them (esp after seeing it live in concert recently) even to this day. it’s just so cute and evokes all the emotions in me okay :(( anyways this fic was another spur of the moment idea (are y’all even surprised at this point lmao) and i decided to write for joshua, as i haven’t written anything for him yet (i do have another joshua fic in my drafts rn hehe) also yes this fic will be cheesy, you have been warned <3

joshua eyed the macbook balanced on your lap with utter disdain, wishing he could pry the device from your hands, make you focus on him instead, but he knew his efforts would only be in vain. you had come home from a long day of classes, ranting incessantly about how cruel your professors were for assigning a shit ton of work over the course of three days no less, and he had listened attentively to every word, despite the exhaustation from comeback preparations weighing down on him.

you had given him a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing into his room to take a quick shower, and had come out fifteen minutes later dressed in loose, black sweatpants and one of his shirts, the latter practically a dress on your small form.

joshua’s heart had squeezed at the sight, for seeing you in his clothes was something he’d never get used to, even after three years of dating. that fluttering feeling quickly dissipated when you plopped down next to him on the living room couch with your macbook in hand.

“you have homework?” he had asked, trying to keeping his voice as casual as possible, and you’d simply let out a noncommittal grunt in response. “my introduction to film studies professor wants a five page analysis on the great gatsby, and it’s due on friday, which means i only have a few days to finish it.”

joshua had bit back a retort, refraining himself from reminding you that it was only monday, for heavens sake, but decided against it. “how long is it going to take you?” your expression had gone soft, and you’d leaned over to press a soft kiss on his cheek. “two or three hours, give or take, i’ll try and finish this paper soon, and then i’m all yours, okay? just give me two or three hours.”

and because joshua knew he couldn’t deny you anything, he’d conceded. so, here he was, trying his absolute hardest to focus on a movie that didn’t really interest him in the first place, silently counting down the hours in his head.

five minutes had turned into ten, ten into fifteen, fifteen into twenty, and so on. time trickled on slowly, and joshua had become utterly convinced that watching paint dry was more entertaining than the movie currently playing on the tv.

he wasn’t even sure what it was about, and nothing about piqued his interest, for all he could think about was you, wearing his t-shirt and balancing that fucking macbook on your lap, eyes practically glued to the screen.

joshua hadn’t really thought of himself as a clingy person, in fact, even the other members thought so, with hoshi pointing out how, ever since he’d started dating you, he’d practically run out of the rehearsal room once the choreographer deemed practice over, eager to get home to you.

you had taken up permanent residence in the dorms, and the members even had one of their managers make a key for you so that you could head straight there in between or after classes to rest. joshua was surprised that management had been okay with it, among all things.

he and the rest of the members had been extremely busy with comeback preparations, and the past few weeks had a whirlwind of activity, with arduous dance practices, album photoshoots, recording sessions in woozi’s personal studio, and so on.

the group finally had a few days off from comeback preparations, and joshua was determined to spend all of them with you, watching those cheesy romance films you loved and maybe spending all day in bed. alas, none of that had actually come true, for you were extremely busy with school, constantly working on assignments or projects, and joshua had spent most nights sleeping alone.

your side of the bed was constantly empty, and joshua knew you were staying up at ungodly hours at night, curled up on the couch, working on another assignment that probably wasn’t due for another few weeks. he wished he could pull you away from work, even for a second, but knowing your stubborn nature, it would take a lot for you to take a break.

joshua tried not to pout like a child who’d just been told they couldn’t have ice cream for breakfast. he was a twenty seven year old man, for fucks sake, and pouting because his girlfriend wouldn’t pay attention to him was not good for his character, and if the members found out, they’d tease him relentlessly for weeks.

“are you almost done?” he found himself saying, mentally patting himself on the back for keeping his voice neutral as possible, “sort of, i finished the introduction and maybe, erm, half of the analysis? i’ve written..two pages so far.” you mumbled, and joshua felt his heart sink into his chest.

“oh.” was all he managed to say, and went back to pretending to watch his movie, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. a long stretch of silence settled between them, and joshua wracked his mind for something to say, anything to break the awkward atmosphere.

another long beat of silence, and then, “are you mad at me?” your voice was impossibly soft, and joshua knew you well enough to note the nervousness laced within your tone. at that, his head whipped towards you, heart aching at the unsure, almost fearful look on your face, tension lining your shoulders.

“no, love, of course not, you’ve done nothing wrong.” he reassured, and nearly sighed in relief when the tension in your shoulders loosened, ever so slightly. “then why did you sound so… upset earlier?” “i did?” you nodded, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

“y-yeah, a bit, i don’t think you realized though.” “i’m not upset, darling, just a bit… sad, i guess.” “sad? why? did something happen while you and the guys were preparing for the comeback?” you asked, concern furrowing your brow, and joshua felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

“no, nothing happened, don’t worry, the guys are fine, just resting from the crazy schedule we’ve had these last few weeks.” “oh, thank god, i thought something happened. then, why are you sad?” joshua hesitated, wondering if you would laugh in his face for admitting that he had felt lonely these past few days because you’d been so focused on work and not him.

stop overthinking everything, you idiot, this is y/n. she’s not going to laugh at you or think you’re pathetic. well, here goes nothing. “this is going to sound pathetic of me, but you’ve been so focused on work these past few days and.. i don’t know, this is the longest break i’ve had during comeback preparations that management has given us in a long time, and i guess i thought we could spend them together. but you were so determined to get your work done, and i didn’t want to bother you.”

joshua tried to keep his voice as cheerful as possible, but the small crack in his voice at the end betrayed him, and he felt color rise to his cheeks in embarrassment. to his relief, you didn’t laugh in his face or call him pathetic.

instead, you were looking at him with guilt written all over your face, dark eyes glinting with unshed tears, and joshua felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. “why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, and you sounded so hurt, so devastated, that he immediately wished he could take his words from earlier back.

“i didn’t want to bother you”, he replied softly, voice ever so gentle, as if he were afraid of scaring you off. “you’re never a bother! i’m the one who shouldn’t be bothering you. you’re an idol for fucks sake, you’re constantly rehearsing and preparing to put out an album and perform on stage for thousands and thousands of people, and i’m just a struggling university student who’s constantly complaining about something trivial like shitty professors-” joshua cut you off by pressing a soft kiss to your mouth.

“i could say the same about you, you’re never a bother to me either. and yes, i do prepare to perform for tons of people, and while it’s a lot different from being a student, you shouldn’t think of yourself that way, it breaks my heart. never think just because you’re a university student, it doesn’t make your worries or stress any less significant or important. and shitty professors isn’t a trivial matter. they can either make or break your overall experience, and i’m sorry that they’ve been throwing all these things at you. but i know you. you can get through it, and if you ever need me, i’ll be here.”

you were a sobbing mess at this point, and joshua gently pried the laptop from your hands and set it on the coffee table. “now come here.” he whispered, opening his arms ever so slightly, and you threw yourself into them, body wracking with uncontrollable sobs, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

joshua held you flush against him, wrapping his arms around your body and rubbing comforting circles on your back, murmuring reassuring words under his breath. your soft sobs filled the room, and he swore he felt his heart cleave in two at how utterly shattered you sounded.

after your tears had subsided, joshua pulled back enough to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “i know this is a long shot, but would you be willing to spend the rest of the night with me? that is, no movies, no music, and definitely no five page papers. you can work all you want tomorrow, but i think maybe taking a break will benefit you.”

your shoulders slumped in defeat, and joshua couldn’t help but smile fondly at the exasperated huff you let out as you gazed longingly at your macbook. “fine, but only because i can’t say no to you.” you murmured begrudgingly. joshua let out a soft, amused chuckle, leaning down to press a soft kiss atop your head. “likewise.”

“do you mind if i put your laptop in my room? just so that you’re not distracted by it?” you shook your head. “go ahead, i don’t really want to write that fucking paper right now. my brain is fried.” joshua chuckled, reaching out and ruffling your hair affectionately. “ok, i’ll be back.”

he took the laptop off the table and headed towards his room, humming softly to himself. when he opened the door, jeonghan was sprawled out on his bed, scrolling idly through his phone. he looked up when joshua entered. “i thought you were spending time with y/n. having a lover’s quarrel?” jeonghan asked, the corners of his mouth curving into a mischievous smile, and joshua rolled his eyes, used to the former’s cheekiness.

“very funny. no, we are not having a lover’s quarrel.” jeonghan sighed, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “shame, i thought something interesting was finally happening around here.” joshua snorted. “yeah, like the one time you and dokyeom went live at the same time and you practically begged carats to watch you instead of him?”

jeonghan gave an elegant shrug, unfazed. “it’s not my fault i’m so lovable.” joshua fought the urge to throw a pillow at his friend’s head. “whatever helps you sleep at night.” he grumbled, placing your laptop on his bed before promptly exiting the room, shutting the door gently behind him.

joshua found you right where he left you, curled up on the couch, except now, you were hugging a pillow to your chest, seemingly lost in thought. the sight made his heart ache and warm all the same. he gently kissed the top of your head as he plopped down unceremoniously next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“penny for your thoughts?” he teased, which earned him a half-hearted glare. “what are you so lost in thought about, love?” he saw your cheeks heat at the way the endearment slipped easily off his tongue due to years of use, and fought the urge to coo at the sight.

“nothing, just thinking about how i could’ve spent time you with you these past few days, you know, instead of brushing you off and doing work instead.”

joshua shushed you, pulling you closer into his side. “it’s okay, i also was a little embarrassed. i mean, i didn’t want to come off as clingy.” that earned him a soft smack on the chest. “you are not clingy.” “tell that to hoshi, he thinks i’m utterly besotted, his words, not mine.”

you glanced up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes. “well, you are, aren’t you?” joshua rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, love.” you scrunched your nose at joshua in mock disgust, and he let out a soft chortle of amusement.

a comfortable silence settled in the air, and you let out a soft sigh of contentment, resting your head on joshua’s shoulder, and he smiled, carding a hand gently through your hair, the strands like silk against his skin. joshua adored moments like these, when it was just you and him, and he could temporarily forget about any and all his worries.

and even if the others teased him for being so besotted, then so be it. after all, joshua was used to their teasing, had been for eight years and counting. you were the first to break the silence, clearing your throat awkwardly. “not to sound like a broken record, but i really do feel guilty for completely ignoring you these past few days. if i had known you had-”

“love,” joshua began, cutting you off gently but firmly, “like i said before, you have nothing to apologize for. your work was important, and i would’ve distracted you.” you let out a small sigh, small shoulders slumping in defeat. “still, you could’ve at least tried to take my laptop away. or something,”

joshua rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “i love you, but we both know that you would likely hiss at me if i did.” color rose to your cheeks. “n-not true.” “sure, love.” you wrinkled your nose at him in mock disgust, and joshua couldn’t help but press a gentle kiss atop your head.

you mumbled something incoherent under your breath, but said nothing further, instead settling back into joshua’s embrace, and he allowed himself a small smile as you let your eyes flutter shut, letting out a small yawn. “tired?” he whispered, carding his hands through your soft hair, and you managed a small nod.

“sleep, then, love. i’ll be here when you wake up.” at that ,color rose to your cheeks, and joshua bit back an amused laugh, knowing you were likely to scold him for it, and leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch, relishing in the comfortable silence that settled around the room.

it was moments like these that joshua treasured the most, when there was nothing but you and him, just enjoying each other’s company. with you, he could let all his worries melt away, forget about concerts and comebacks, and just be himself.

and, as much as you and him loved spending time with the other members, it was often loud and chaotic, and joshua needed the peace and quiet every now and then. he let out a content sigh, and felt exhaustation take over, and soon, his eyes fluttered shut and he entered dreamland, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

a/n: no bc wtf was that ending oh my god anyways this was my first shua fic, and i hope you all liked this regardless of how terrible it is lmao also i started school again :’) if you have also started school, i hope it’s going well <3 ! (i cannot believe i’m a junior in college now wtf) also i turn 21 in like a week so there’s that lsdkfjldjf and since school is starting again, i might not have a ton of time to post fics:(( but i will still try to <3 also seungkwan is back:(( i saw the pics and videos from the concert in japan and my heart is happy:(( also scoups was there :((( i hope he recovers soon and quickly <3 wishing him all the best <3333

tagging: @hong-jisoo , @drmflm, @playmetheclassics, and anyone else who wants to read this <333

#mine #fic: disconnected #joshua hong x reader #hong jisoo x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst

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gojosoath · 1 year ago

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the world underneath your skin — toji fic

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem!reader (uses she/her pronouns)

tags: romance x ANGST x like a SHIT TON OF ANGST x AU (no sorcerer stuff in this au) x action x violence x soft!toji x

warnings: alcoholism x self harm (Y/N self harms, i do NOT mean this in any way implying that the reader (you) do this. and that if you have struggled/or are struggling with self harm, this is a major trigger warning. as someone who personally has struggled with self harm, i know how sensitive the topic is) x death (only characters' death from manga is toji's wife and megumi)

summary: After spending most of his life as an underground hitman for desperate means to support himself financially — Toji Fushiguro gets recruited to work as an assassin for the government due to his his mastered skills. Through his new occupation, Toji struggles with muscle pains and is recommended to see a massage therapist. Toji meets Y/N, who becomes Toji’s massage therapist, and the two realize they both have toxic addictions they hide from daylight; Toji’s alcoholism and Y/N’s self-harm. Along the way, Toji and Y/N can’t seem to stay away from each other despite the darkness that threatens to keep them apart.

Table of Contents // my ao3 // taglist form

taglist: @sakinotfound ;@nanamingojo; @bubs-world ; @saskamo ; @wo-ming-bai

a/n: soft!toji makes me feral. despite his aloof exterior, this man def craves cuddles . (he won't admit it, but he's totally into being the little spoon too). reblogs are encouraged!

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: slight SA at the end of this chapter done to y/n

Part 7: I Need You (wc: 5.8k)

Toji always gets his assignments done simply; go in and get out. As an assassin, you were never supposed to get stuck in the labyrinth of the humane side of your targets. Toji stripped his targets down in his mind as the key to his transactions — that’s all they were. Sometimes the dawning feeling would creep in on him if he did this so all the people he had killed wouldn’t suffocate him.

Shiu asked Toji, “Why are your clothes wet?”

Toji deadpans, “I went for a swim.”

Shiu didn’t push it any further than that. The silencer was set on the handgun he was going to use to kill his target — the woman with whom he had slept only hours before. When Shiu and Toji arrived, as always, Shiu stayed in the car. Toji entered the mansion by using an instrument that could cut through glass. He climbed through a window — the one that led to the woman, Jess’s, bedroom.

The woman, Jess, entered the bedroom in a bathrobe and damp hair. In a split second, Toji lifted his arm and shot the woman. She fell to the ground with a thud, blood beginning to pool around the bullet wound. It was a perfect headshot. Toji never looked at his targets long enough after killing them — he turned around to get out the same way he entered.

“Mom?”

Toji froze and slowly turned his head back and at the doorway of the bedroom, stood a trembling child. The child stared at their mother who lay on the floor. The child then looked over at Toji, the two of them locking gazes. The child’s facial expression matched his mother’s state — lifeless.

Something stung in Toji, it crippled his insides and screamed at him how much of a nasty monster he was. But that’s the thing about being an assassin, no matter what comes up, you have to move forward to finish the assignment. And that’s exactly what Toji did — jumping back down from the window and running over to the car where he and Shiu drove off.

Toji was silent throughout the entire car ride. Shiu didn’t say anything either. There was no radio playing, just complete silence. Toji asked Shiu for a cigarette and was handed one. As Toji took his first drag, he thought about how you first reacted when you found out he smoked. Even though Toji had just killed someone, he felt the corners of his lips turn upwards. He wondered, would you still kiss him after witnessing him killing someone’s mother in front of them?

Toji followed the usual precautions after a complete assignment — tossing the weapons into the river. If it were any other night, Toji would stroll to his usual bar and get himself drunk. Instead, he went back to his place which greeted him with silence as it always did. Toji peeled his clothes that stuck to his skin and took a cold shower.

┅

The day of Toji’s appointment with you comes around again — and he is excited to see you. He wonders if you’ll still be mad at him, considering how he left abruptly the last time you two saw one another. Whenever Toji looked down at his hands, his wrists had light pink markings from the handcuffs. The sight always made Toji smile along with blood rushing to his dick.

To Toji’s surprise, when he arrived at your clinic, he saw you locking up the front door. He had taken a cab to your clinic. You didn’t acknowledge him. Toji walked up to you, “Ignoring me, sweetheart?” He called out.

You still didn’t acknowledge him and began walking over to your parked car in the lot. Toji went over to your car by the passenger side, setting his arms over the hood of the car.

“This is not professional of you,” He remarks with a smile, and this earns him a glare from you.

You huff out in exasperation, “Sorry, forgot to tell you that something came up tonight.”

“I’m your customer,” Toji defended, “I’m going to leave a very bad review on your website.”

You continue to glare at him and snap, “Are you threatening me?”

Toji chuckles, “By leaving a bad review? Yes,” He confirms.

Your nostrils flare, scowling, “I can’t give you a massage tonight. We’ll have to do it next week.”

“You’re mad that I left quickly last time,” Toji blurts, “right?”

You only say, “Goodnight, Toji,” your keys jingling as you unlock your car door. Toji leans off of your car and takes out a cigarette, placing it between his lips. He lights it up, exhaling the smoke. The passenger window is rolled down, followed by your grim tone, “What are you doing?”

Toji crouches so he can see you, he holds out his cigarette between his fingers, “Smoking,” He states smugly.

“Well, it’s disgusting,” You comment harshly.

Toji chuckles again, this time leaning against the open window, his arms dangling inside your car, “Wanna go for a ride?”

“So you can just use me for sex and then leave?” You snap.

Toji watches you silently as smoke surrounds him, the glowing at the end of the cigarette illuminates against his features; making him appear captivating. His eyes scan your face, he takes one last drag and then flicks the cigarette to the side, “There,” He nods his head to the side where the cigarette lies on the ground, “just for you.”

You scoff, “Real romantic of you.”

“Well?” He asks, “Wanna go for a drive or not?”

You lean over the center console and stare at him sternly, “I understand that we’ve fucked each other a couple of times but that doesn’t mean I’ll let myself be objectified to just that — some kind of sex doll.”

“We don’t have to have sex,” Toji responds with a leveled tone, “I genuinely want to see you.”

“I can drive,” You mumble, “get in.” Toji stands up straight and opens the door, getting into the passenger side. “Buckle up,” You tell him.

“You a reckless driver?” Toji jokes.

“No, but if I end up not being able to stand you then I’ll step on the brakes and send you flying out the window,” You snide with a smile planted on your lips.

Toji puts his hands up as if he’s surrendering, “I promise to not get on your nerves tonight, Miss L/N.”

You start the car, rolling your eyes, “Whatever.”

You drive out of the clinic parking lot, not even knowing where you’re going. So you end up deciding to drive around aimlessly, with no set destination.

When you come to a stop light, Toji speaks up, “I like your hair up like this,” He nods at you, referencing your hair being put up in a ponytail.

“Really?” Your hand reaches back and pulls it out from its grasp, your hair falling. You and Toji stare at each other for a moment and both of you break out into small laughter. You place the back of your hand to your lips and look out the window, hating that you allowed yourself to get comfortable around him. The light turns green and you’re driving again. You find yourself driving into an empty parking lot of a closed grocery store.

“Are your wrists okay?” You ask quietly, looking down at your hands in your lap.

“They’re a little sore,” Toji grins, “they could use some massaging.”

You look at him through your eyelashes, not wanting to make full-on eye contact with him. You answer by putting your palm out and he places his wrist on top of it. His hands are so large compared to yours — they’re calloused, scarred, and strong. His nails are cut short, there’s a wristwatch he’s got on. You gently turn it the other way so you can unclasp the watch that looks very expensive. Your eyebrows furrow as you struggle in trying to figure out how to unclasp it. Toji places his fingers over yours, pressing down and the watch clicks as it extends open.

You brush off the way your whole body heats up with elation at such a simple touch from him. You take off the watch and set it in the middle of your car console. You examine his wrist, turning it so it hits the light that illuminates from the light pole you two are parked under. Sure enough, there’s a light pink imprint from where the handcuffs were clasped around. You try not to let your mind become flooded with the memories of how Toji looked, sounded, and felt as you edged him on.

“Are you gonna massage it?” Toji’s voice breaks you out of your lost thoughts.

You look up from his wrist to meet an amused look on his face. You drop his wrist and cross your arms over your chest, “I already told you I’m not giving you a massage tonight.”

Toji clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “How can I make it up to you?” He offers, and his tone is surprisingly gentle.

You retort, “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want to keep seeing you,” He tells you, you can feel his eyes on you.

You inhale sharply through your nose, “So what you said last time wasn’t just pillow talk?”

“I said a lot of things last time,” Toji remarks, unbuckling himself and shifting so he can sit more comfortably — spreading his legs as far as they can go in the seat and turning slightly so he’s facing you more.

“You promised me that you’d fuck me for the rest of my life,” You recall out loud.

Toji leans his head back against the car window, looking at you through half-lidded eyes, a full-on boyish smile on his scarred lips. “Of course, I meant that — when I make a promise, I keep it. Always.”

You look out the window to hide the way your face burns at his words, “How do I know you’re not just using me for sex?”

“Because I want to see you,” Toji reiterates.

You ask sheepishly, “Do you want to cuddle then?”

Toji opens the passenger side of the car, surprising you. He closes it and then opens the back passenger door, getting into the back. You turn around in your seat, lips parted in confusion.

Toji pats the empty spot next to him, “You coming?”

You turn off the car and climb over into the back, where Toji helps you by holding your hand. You sit in the spot next to him with a huff. His arm immediately goes around you, pulling you in so your two bodies are pressed. His other arm pushes your legs over so they’re laid out over his lap. Your ankles dangle off the edge of the car seat.

“There we go,” Toji notes, looking down at you. You’re silent for a moment, then hesitantly, set the side of your face against his chest. Your arm wraps around his small waist, and you hold your breath, waiting for his reaction.

Toji brings his lips to the crown of your head, making you feel like you’re melting. You finally relax against him, closing your eyes. You can hear his heartbeat against your ear, and it surprises you, his heart is racing.

You find this the perfect moment to tease him, “What’s wrong? Are you shy?”

His chest vibrates underneath you as he chuckles, “What can I say? You make me excited.”

His words have you charmed and feeling warm on the inside. You two sit there in silence, You’re not sure how much time has passed, all you know is Toji’s embrace. The world outside of your car slips away. Your eyes slowly close, in a state of almost falling asleep. Your head rises up and down to the rhythm of Toji’s steady breathing from his chest. You feel his hand in your hair, brushing it back with his fingers, followed by a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“I didn’t take you to be a cuddler,” You remark softly.

Toji continues to gently touch you, his hand stroking the back of your head, “Who doesn’t like cuddling?”

A smile creeps onto your lips as you lightly goad, “Men like you.”

Toji brings his lips back to your forehead, but instead of kissing you, he speaks against your skin, “Well, I guess I have to show you the man I am then, huh?”

You open your eyes and look up at him through your eyelashes, “Yeah,” You agree, giving him a light squeeze with your arms, “you’ll have to show me.”

You notice that he doesn’t have the stubble from last time. Your hand comes up to the side of his face and he leans into it, a small smile on his lips. Your thumb traces over his cheek, taking your time to remember how his skin feels smooth without the facial hair. Gradually, your fingers move down to the corner of his lips, finding their way to his pretty scar.

“Can I guess how you got this?” You propose.

Toji hums, flashing you a smile, “How about if you guess wrong, you have to give these bad boys the massage they deserve?” He lifts his hand, wiggling his wrist side to side.

Your hand goes to his, palm resting against his, initiating to hold it. Both of your fingers lace with one another, his calloused skin in contrast to your soft ones. “It must have been a fight,” You begin, waiting for his reaction, “Is that correct?’

Toji’s eyes scan your face before answering, “It was through violence, yes.”

You giggle happily, slightly kicking your feet, “So, I got it correct?”

“Well, that’s too broad,” Toji objects, “you need to be more specific.”

You pout, “Come on,” slouching against him. Your intertwined hands stay that way, in deep thought about how he got the scar that you don’t even realize his thumb rubbing small circles on your hand. “If it was through violence, and it’s a scar like that,” Your eyes flicker up to his lips, “it looks like it was done by a knife.”

Toji leans down, his nose bumping in with yours. The movement was unexpected so it has your face flushed with heat. His lips brush against your cheek, and in a whisper, he says, “You’re correct.”

The two of you stay close that way for a brief moment, your heart trying to leap out of your ribcage. God, he’s irresistible. All you want to do is ride him right then and there. You change the atmosphere by directing your attention to his hand, more specifically, your intertwined hands.

“Let me take a closer look at them,” You have to take your fingers out from his grasp and bring his wrist closer to you. Toji watches you with an amused look on his face, fully aware of your flustered state.

“You got it right, you know,” Toji says, “you only needed to massage my wrists if you got it wrong.”

“I know,” You state, your fingers already working at massaging his tense wrists. You can feel him relax, a sigh of contentment leaving his lips.

“You’re really good, you know,” Toji comments, “at what you do.”

You try to act laid back, shrugging your shoulders, “It’s my job.”

“Still,” Toji adds, “you’re good at it.”

You massage his wrist in silence, using your thumbs to create upward motions underneath his wrist. Once you’re done, you bring his wrist up to your lips and give it a peck. Toji flinches at the movement in surprise but eventually rests against the backseat of your car as you move onto his next wrist. You do the same routine and then finish it off with another kiss to it once you’re done.

Your hands move to his chest, turning more to your side so that you can lean up and press your lips against yours. Toji grunts in surprise, and you pull an inch back, already feeling the heat that builds up between your bodies.

“I want you,” You whisper, “can I?” Your fingers have already moved to the collar of his white dress shirt, tugging at it.

“Miss L/N,” His voice is slightly shaky, “are you sure you want to do this?”

You nod your head, “I do. You?”

Toji curses under his breath, his hips beginning to grind against your thighs that are against his lap. “Of course I do,” He answers, his large hand coming to the side of your face, “I told you, I keep my promises.”

The two of you kiss, it’s passionate and filled with yearning. It’s evident both of you at this point miss one another whenever you two are apart. Your hands anchor onto the collar of his white button-up while one of his arms is wrapped around your back and the other on the side of your face. Your noses bump with one another as the two of you angle your faces for more access to one another. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip, pushing it into your mouth where you obediently open it for him to have more room. He sighs into your mouth from your actions, the sound of your tongues swirling around one another filling up the car.

You two go at it for a while that way, sloppy tongue kissing with both of you being handsy with one another. You feel his firm chest with your hand that then moves to his large biceps, feeling him up shamelessly through the fabric. One of his hands palms your ass, squeezing it to his desire while the other one has moved up to the back of your neck. The two of you find yourselves shifting, where you’re laid further back until your back is against the seat and he’s hovering over you. You’re hazy at this point, out of breath, your thighs squeezing against one another. His fingers lace themselves into your hair, his tongue practically touching the back of your throat. He’s moaning and groaning, continuing to rub his hardened crotch against you.

He gives you a break, his forehead resting against yours as both of you catch your breaths. Despite it being dark, you catch the way his lips shimmer from your saliva. You catch the way his eyes soften as he traces his thumb alongside your face, making you shiver. You can feel it, there’s something different between the two of you tonight. You can’t pinpoint what it exactly is, but it’s the way he’s looking at you and touching you. His thumb moves to the corner of your mouth, and you open it without him having to say anything. He places it in and you suckle on it, eyes fluttering shut from how good it feels.

“Good girl,” You hear him say, voice low, “How are you always so good to me?”

You swirl your tongue around his thumb, prompting him to shove it further into your mouth until you gag. He pulls out at that point, leaving you to feel empty. You frown, a whimper coming from somewhere in you that surprises you. Toji chuckles, making up for it as he leans down to kiss you on the mouth again. Something brushes up against your chest, hitting the bare skin of your collarbone. When you break the kiss to look, it glints underneath the street lights; he’s wearing a necklace. That’s new. Instinctively, your fingers take hold of the necklace, specifically the pendant at the end of it. Toji above you freezes, his green eyes attentively watching you.

You ask softly, “What’s this?”

Toji swallows, clearing his throat, “Sorry,” He’s leaning off of you and sitting up, the necklace slipping from your fingers. You follow by sitting up as well, straightening out your shirt. He’s running a hand through his hair and saying again, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You reassure him, “this is the first time you’re wearing it.”

He responds curtly, “I know.”

You’ve struck a chord, so you don’t push it. You look out the window, “I can drive you back to your place if you want.”

To your surprise, you hear Toji confess, “It’s my wife’s.”

Your eyes widen, your head snapping to look at him, “You’re married?” A knot forms in your stomach. Have you been fucking a married man?!

This time, Toji is the one to appear panicked, “No!” His voice raises regret to appear on his face from the stiffness of his tone. “No,” He says again, calmer. He pinches the bridge of his nose, “Shit, Miss L/N.”

You find yourself saying, “Toji, I can’t be doing this if you have someone—”

Toji doesn’t let you finish, “She’s dead.”

A heavy silence falls over the both of you. You weren’t expecting to hear those words from him. Questions flooded your head; How long was he married? When did she die? How did they meet? If he hadn’t worn the necklace tonight, would he have ever told you he was married?

You settle by saying, “I’m sorry, Toji.” He’s looking down in his lap, at his hands. You’ve never seen him look like he was shutting down. Again, you say, in hopes that you’ll be able to get him out of the anchor that’s holding him down; “Toji.”

He looks at you, almost like he’s afraid to do so. You’re not sure whether to hold his hand or just stay put. “Look,” You speak up, “if I’m some kind of rebound for your past marriage, let’s end it here. It’d be the best thing to do.”

“Y/N,” Toji looks surprised by your choice of words, hurt, even. “That’s not what this is,” His tone is stern, his green eyes piercing into yours.

“I just mean if you’re still mourning — which is completely fine. I can’t be some distraction,” You feel selfish for even jumping to this conclusion, but considering your history with men, this is usually how things ended up for you.

There’s a dour look on Toji’s face, “I swear, Miss L/N, you’re not a fucking distraction.”

Your lips clamp shut at his sternness. Both of you look as if the two of you crashed into a brick wall. There’s distance between you two, and not just physically.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Toji continues, “I never tell anyone I used to be married.”

Even you're shocked at the next words that come out of your mouth, “Let’s end it here.”

Toji looks as if you’ve stabbed glass through his chest, outright pain in his features. “And what about my promise?” The way he says it, doesn’t seem to be implying to him fucking your brains out. It makes you wonder, when did the two of you get this close? Or were the two of you even close?

Tears blur your vision, now you’re looking down at your lap, “What about it?” Your voice cracks.

“Y/N,” Hearing your first name come from him makes you turn your head to look at him. You watch as his hand stops midair in touching you. He drops it, “It’s been eighteen years since she died,” he tells you. “Trust me, you’re not a rebound or distraction.” His hand comes up again, this time to your face, but it doesn’t touch your skin. He looks hesitant in his actions, almost as if he’ll touch you, and you will break.

“I’m sorry about your wife,” You affirmed, hoping you weren’t being overbearing by this being your second or third time saying it. He clenches his jaw, his hand finally touching your cheek to wipe the tears before they reach your chin. You ask him, “Did you ever plan to tell me you were married?” He looks defeated by your question, dropping his head and letting out a sigh.

As if he’s gathering his courage, he looks back up to you, cupping your face with both of his hands. “Listen to me,” He looks you dead in the eye, “you can’t know too much about me and my past.”

Your eyebrows furrow, “Why?” You inquire, “Why do you act so mysterious?”

“I’m not trying to be,” He conveys desperately, “it’s just…” he’s struggling like he’s searching for the right articulation. He finally clarifies, “It’s not going to do you any good, sweetheart.”

Your fingers come up to his wrist, wrapping around it, “You can tell me,” You assure him, “there’s no one I would tell.”

He shakes his head, “It’s not that.”

You insist, “Then what?”

He exhales through his nose, his eyes scanning your face attentively. He informs, “I’ll tell you two things…”

Again, you promise him, “I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

“I used to be married,” He tells you, “and I used to have a son as well. They’re both dead. I can’t tell you how they died. I can’t tell you anything else. I’m telling you this so you know I’m not using you just to forget about my past.”

You're heartbroken at the information he just shared with you. You’re shaking your head lightly, “I’m so sorry,” You say, leaning in and kissing him on the mouth, and in between saying, “I’m sorry, Toji. Sorry, this happened to you.”

Toji kisses you back, more feverishly than before. He’s kissing you almost like if he doesn’t, you’ll evaporate before his eyes. When your hands begin roaming his body, his fingers wrap around your wrists, bringing you to a stop. You two pull back, breathless. His eyebrows are furrowed, looking like he’s about to regret what he’s about to say next.

“Not tonight, princess,” He rasps, referring to anything escalating further. “I want to give you time to process this information.”

“I’m sorry that I said I wanted to end things here,” You acknowledged, feeling embarrassed that you had even said that earlier. “I shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t blame you,” He responded softly, “let it go.”

The two of you sit in silence, remaining in that position, his fingers still clasped around your wrists. It’s peaceful, just sitting there without feeling this urgency to fill it up with words. He puts his forehead against yours, bringing your hands up to his lips. He gives your knuckles light kisses. Everything about him was different tonight, he had this ambiance of vulnerability. He had just shared something so intimate. You weren’t used to it, but you had always craved it; that raw closeness. You chased after it in strictly physical relationships with all the men in your past.

Toji pulled you into him, your face in the crook of his neck. Your body craned into him, arms going around his figure. He reminded you of a tall, strong tree that had been around for hundreds of years. Strong, mighty, and resistant; despite the cracks that were evident inside him.

His palm cradles the back of your head, his eyes fluttering close as he inhales your scent. You feel so small in his arms, it only makes the aching inside of him grow bigger in wanting to protect you. You were a woman that had brought him to tears, and it was then that he realized how priceless submission was. His body couldn’t help it, the blood rushed down to his groin, where he was hard all over again. That was the other thing about you, he felt like a horny youngster who couldn’t get enough of lovemaking. As badly as he wanted to have you sprawled underneath him at the moment and fuck you until you were sobbing – that mature part of him knew that tonight wasn’t the night for that.

Your phone ringing startles both of you. Toji’s body stiffens and you jump at it. It makes you want to groan out in frustration. Toji gives you space and you apologize for the sudden interruption. You scoot to the edge of the seat and reach over to grab where your phone was sitting in the console. Your phone screen flashes with Naoya’s name. It makes a knot form in your stomach.

“This shouldn’t take long,” You tell Toji, and bring the phone to your ear. “Hey,” You greet, trying to make yourself appear as relaxed as possible.

“There you are,” Naoya’s smug voice rings through the phone, “I’ve been texting you.”

“You have?” You ask, quickly bringing the phone down to take a look, and sure enough, he had texted you five times in a row. You bring the phone back up to your ear, “Sorry, it was on silent.”

“Let me see you tonight,” He notes, “at your place. Wear the cat headband and lingerie.”

You bite your bottom lip, you can’t say no, not here, in front of Toji. You don’t want Toji to be aware that you could be hooking up with someone tonight. Besides, the last time you saw Naoya was at the club – which was also the night you saw Toji and that led you two into that one room…

You also hadn’t hooked up with anyone ever since you started having sex with Toji. You two haven’t had that conversation yet but it just sort of happened. Ever since you’ve begun having sex with Toji, you realize that all the sex you have had up until that point was nothing compared to how he fucked you. Now you know what a true man was…

You give in, “Sure,” Your voice sounds so quiet that it surprises you, “I’ll be home a little bit here.” You end the call and force a smile onto your face, “Do you want a ride back?” You ask Toji.

Toji surprises you as he cups the side of your face with his calloused hand. Goosebumps appear across your skin, and he leans in to kiss you. It’s a farewell type of kiss; soft, passionate, and filled with yearning. Before he pulls away, he teases you with his tongue swiping against your bottom lips. He pulls back, his thumb tracing small circles against your cheek.

“You okay?” He asks you.

“Yeah!” You squeak at him, “Yeah, why?”

His green eyes scan your face, “Just want to make sure my girl is okay before we part ways.”

You lean into his palm, closing your eyes, wanting to remember how he feels against you like this. A shaky sigh falls from your lips, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’ll take a cab back,” Toji tells you, “you head on home. Get some good sleep.”

Guilt thrusts at you upon hearing his words. You wanted to cry, jump back into his arms and tell him how uncomfortable you are going back to your place. You didn’t want to see Naoya. Not anymore. Not after meeting Toji. You didn’t care or desire to see anyone else. You just wanted Toji. What was scarier, you felt like you needed him.

Instead, you hear yourself say, “Get some sleep yourself.”

Toji chuckles deeply and presses one last kiss, this time to your forehead, “Make sure to dream about me, sweets.”

┅

You’re on the verge of throwing up. A heavy lump sits in your throat as you get dressed up. Your breathing trembles and your limbs feel like pins and needles. Naoya was supposed to show up any minute now. You slipped the lace sleeves over your arms to hide the scars. You had already done your makeup and hair. You had fucked Naoya plenty of times. But again, that was before Toji. Something creeps up on you like a shadow trying to embrace you.

Naoya was rough with you. But not like Toji. Naoya was rough with you in a way that felt like he was throwing around a rag doll to his liking. Whereas with Toji, he was rough with you which made you feel good. Toji cared for your pleasure. Naoya did not. You had known this from the beginning but felt like that was the best you could get. That was until you met Toji…

There was a knock at your door, making you drop your lipstick. Some of it smeared on your fingertips as you tried to grab it. You cursed under your breath and finished applying it. When you opened the door for Naoya, his lips crashed into yours. It caught your breath in your mouth. He kicked the door behind him, caging you in his arms. You made a muffled noise against his lips.

He kept going, pushing you back until eventually, your legs met the couch. His hands were all over you, groping your breasts, hips, ass and anywhere else he could. You felt like you were fragmented, unable to push him away. His body against yours was suffocating. Your knees bent and you fell back against the cushions of the couch.

“It’s been a while,” Naoya’s hands worked at the buckle of his belt, “put your legs up.”

You looked up at the ceiling, finding your body moving for you as you stuck your legs up in the air for him. Your mind was screaming at you to make this stop. And like a pathetic damsel in distress, you wished for your knight in shining armor to come and make all of this stop. Your knight was rough in all the right places. Rough to still make you feel good, fuck, even loved.

You heard the tearing of a condom packet get undone, as he muttered, “Good kitty.”

The pet name from him made you wince, physically. That pet name only sounded good from Toji. The bells on your cat's headband rang as Naoya shoved your thighs against your thigh from the sudden action. It made you gasp, pain shooting up your legs from just how painfully rough he was being with you. He tapped his hard dick against your clit, your body twitching from the sensation. You closed your eyes and held your breath, praying that it’d all be over soon…

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The loud knocks coming from your door put a pause on Naoya’s actions. His dick was sitting at your entrance. He looked down at you, an impatient look on his face.

“Who is that?” He practically spits the question at you.

Your arms tremble as you push yourself to sit up. “I don’t know,” You tell him, your mind racing with who it could be. “The only person who would show up at this time would be my dad.”

Naoya lets out an exasperated breath, “Why the fuck is your dad here?”

You’re getting off the couch, your body feeling like jelly. Your heart is pounding, and you’re not sure if it’s because of the knocking on the door or that you are finally out of Naoya’s python grip.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

“Jesus Christ!” Naoya seethes, shoving his dick back into his pants, “Just answer the damn door.”

“I-I need to put something on,” You stumble over your words.

Naoya doesn’t listen nor give you a chance to do so. He strides over to the door, and opens it…

#gojosoath<3 #toji fushiguro #toji #fushiguro #toji x y/n #toji smut #toji fanfic #jujustu kaisen au #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk #jjk fanfic #toji angst #toji fluff #toji fic #jjk fic #toji x reader

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redrydersrequiem · 2 years ago

Text

Reunited chapter 1

Ok ive been reading ALOT of avatar fanfiction lately and i like many other am obsessed with miles Quartich. So heres a fic for him. Again this is just for my own sanity i think of stuff and i have to write them down or they’ll never leave my head. Love all yall who actually read this again everyone be kind none of this is prof’d. Also just warning for language and I am constantly adding stuff to these because I am always re-reading them and finding issues so again just hang in there with me I like to use gifs/videos and pics to make the story more theatrical in my mind

Updated this 5/2/23

Next chapter

Ok video log 230 My name is y/n y/l/n I was a Corporal for the RDA. I went to Pandora for one reason.

I needed the money

My only living relative, my aunt, was sick. Terminally sick and the regular military benefits were not working. That’s when the RDA swooped in and found me. A young former soldier with experience who needed financial backing, yeah, I see now I was an easy target for them. Anyway getting to Pandora I was placed on the one and only Colonel Miles Quaritchs team. Luckily or maybe not now that I look back I was strictly security for hell's gate. While the others did more field work I was dealing with perimeter checks,Hot headed soldiers fighting, Fixing up my team whenever they didn’t want to deal with the science quacks, and a shit ton of unnecessary paperwork. You know Basic duties, until I was assigned to start helping the scientists out more.

They wanted to start going back out into the forest more often and after watching the beauty of it from the window all the time, I was all for joining them. Even though I was a soldier it didn’t mean I was one of the inhumane jug heads like some. I had passions and loved nature and music, culture, literally devouring anything I could. Grace actually kind of liked me which is why I started spending a lot of time with them despite my unit's protests.

Now don’t get me wrong I loved my unit. After getting past some of their personal walls, all of them were amazing. Loyal to one another. Funny, goofy and everything in between. They were my family, the Lovable brothers and sisters I had never had albeit VERY rough around the edges. It's actually funny now how close i am to everyone and how protective they are over me cause when I first showed up they all almost laughed me out the door. All thinking i was just a young gun that wouldn’t amount to anything just their cute little doctor but after they saw me take down a drunk guy twice my size from another team with vicious savagery,during a night off for all of us, in heels might i add, they all started looking at me in a new light.

(Think something like this clip)

Once comfortable everyone really showed me their true colors.Lyle, as annoying as he was, was also very funny. Just straight up class clown behind closed doors. They are the kind of brother that just comes up to you randomly to mess with you for like a second and then runs away.( his intrusive thoughts when a lot) but he was always my go to to hang out with just cause he would make you forget about the stress of the job.

Zdinarsk was the annoying older sister, beautiful but playful, a piece of candy in every pocket she had, but always willing to share. She also likes to playfully pick on me all the time, but if someone else says something. God help them.

Mansks was more the silent but deadly brother. Always watching out for me, especially when I am out in the field. His eyes trained everywhere you just can’t see it from behind all those sunglasses he owns. He would back up z whenever they heard someone say shit about me, those people never came within my vicinity again. But he also had a softer side, like being an incredible cook. We all call him the grill master, and live for the days he decides he wants to cook. We eat well those days. Ja, brown and prager were like the three stooges together. Sometimes I honestly wondered if they all shared a brain cell. Lopez was cool. He would teach me a bunch of Spanish, mostly curse words but still would teach me. And anytime some music would come on he would be the one to dance with me.

Sorry I'm rambling. All in all I was very close to everyone in our squad of thirteen rowdy marines but it was my home. Now while the others were family Miles was much more.

As soon as I met the colonel I was enamored. It was hard to even describe why or how it happened. At first you think of him as just some hard ass old geezer who would never look twice at you and then you catch him helping his fellow members in tasks. Checking up on them like a dad almost. Learning how I liked my coffee so he can bring it to me in early meetings. While everyone simply thought of him as some hard ass to the book soldier, I thought of him as a trusted leader that has and will continue to bend over backwards to help the people he's loyal to.

Simply put I I fell in love

Despite his rough figure and reputation. I fell in love with him. With the warm smile he only showed when we were alone. With how he knew I loved the plants and things of pandora and would occasionally bring me non threatening flowers when he found them while in the field. How he actually would listen to me ramble to everyone about the stuff I had learned from grace without complaining or zoning out of the confirmation like the others.Stuff like that all garnered points in my heart towards my colonel It wasn’t until almost two years later when I confessed to Miles and to my absolute surprise he reciprocated. Even though he thought he was way too old for me I didn’t care. I had been surrounded by death my whole life so I quickly learned to seize any moment I could never know if that person would be there the next day. It wasn't until a year later that he proposed. That was the same year that Jake Sully arrived.

Jake Sully was granted access I would have killed for. To be an avatar.

Jake was cool, another fellow marine who even though he tried not to show it, was fascinated with the world of Pandora and everything he was learning. A strong and independent person that despite his personal and physical trauma was such a goof. Miles liked him, I could tell. He respected jake for not letting his physical issues take him out. He liked people who persevered through issues. So it was no surprise that Jake was working with grace and i but he was still under the command of Miles.

When Grace decided to take her norm, Max, Jake and others out to the old shack to work instead of hell's gate I was given the option to go with them. Unfortunately I couldn't stay all the time. I wanted to be with my family and closer to better medical help for the life that was now growing inside me.Grace understood that but I for sure could feel the divide that was happening between the two groups of people I found myself Entangled in especially as Jake got to know more and more about the omaticaya clan.

You see, I saw something on both sides. The RDA was all about money and with the way the economy and everything was back on earth money was a necessary evil. While I don't agree with what they were doing, I understood why. With grace, norm, and Jake I saw the beauty of pandora. How much different she was from our own planet that is now no more than dust and metal it feels but here in the plush forests of color it was amazing. I could understand why the natives were so protective over it, myself slowly joining them. A little while into Jake's expedition I even got to meet Neytiri.

She had shown up to the little shack at Jake's persistence to meet me,and norm and to reconnect with grace since she had known her from before. Jake was trying to show her that not all humans were bad, which I can’t say he fully succeeded on but she respected all of us. I mean she was definitely standoffish at first with me, but once she saw my pregnant belly I could see something in her shift. She asked me about human babies and if they were very different from Navi ones. And she asked me about our family’s and about nature and we even bonded over teasing Jake which I found great, much to his detriment. Neytiri was great honestly. She was beautiful and strong and when it all came down to it we found we had more in common than not. I truly started considering her a friend and her doing the same with me.

Unfortunately when I got later in my pregnancy I could no longer fly out to the old shack anymore Miles being a worry wart. Actually all of the team were worriers but I just took it in stride. I knew how much they all loved me and I was happy to stay put to give them peace of mind. The only thing I wish I could do was get them to all stop taking Parker’s orders. It was like we weren’t even soldiers anymore, more like Parker and the RDAs hunting dogs. Even though I tried every day to tell them that the RDA was wrong. I know they were all loyal to a fault but I thought that loyalty was to each other over the RDA. Some would listen to me and agree with some of the things i said but some would just shake their heads at me and tell me we have to do the best we can for our own before trying to change the subject. Hard headed soldiers every last one of them but none more so than miles. No matter how much i speak and i know he listens hes loyal to the rda almost to a fault.

But I didn’t have a lot of more time to try and convince him that the shit Parker was whispering in his ear was all bullshit. It was late evening right before the eclipse that my water broke. God was that fun. 13 hours of labor and my son is finally welcomed into the world. He was so small. Beautiful light blond hair on his head, and his fathers eyes. It was unfair how I carried him for 9 months and he came out looking just like his dad. Everyone was so excited about him though our little Miles Lyle l/n quartich

*(couldn't find if spider had a middle name so just went with they made Lyle his god dad and named him that)

I had just taken the baby to the nurses unit to get his one month evaluation. It’s nice to get out again after being on bed rest for the last month. Everyone’s been very hush hush about any missions and stuff that have happened recently and it's not until I saw Miles and the others in a lab with Parker, that my interest was peaked, since they all would rather die than come over to this section. Walking through the doors everyone went a little quiet. Like teeenagers trying not to be caught in a lie. That was red flag number two.

I see miles talking into a camera and ask what he’s doing. He sates my curiosity by telling me Parker is making the team catch up on their logs so that the RDA has a good view of what's been happening. I know he is lying to me and he’s lucky I'm tired from staying up with our son or I would call him on his bullshit but that will be a conversation for later. He pushed me off to go get some sleep while baby miles was at his check up and that daddy would pick him up and they would join us later and i agreed. Placing a kiss on his lips i make my way out of the lab and towards our shared courtiers

Unbeknownst to him I learned what they were really doing video logs for. After leaving the lab I heard other soldiers talking about how sick it was seeing that big tree go up in flames. And I froze in my spot. No, I couldn't have heard that right. After pulling rank on them they told me what happened and to say I was pissed was an understatement, then being told that the others were now going to attack the omaticaya clan. I was seething. I immediately called Jake and the others knowing grace would tell me what's been happening without sugar coating anything,but found that they were no longer there. That's not good at all. I quickly made my way to the research sector and try to find max or really anyone. Bursting in the labs side room i see max running around like a chicken without a head

“Max where are they whats going on��

“y/n. You shouldn’t be here”

“Max what’s happening the others aren't answering and i just learned Parker wants to declare all out war basically”

“I'm sorry y/n. You’ve missed a lot since you’ve been out with the baby.”

“Well quickly fill me the fuck in.”

Max quiets me and takes me over to a side office shutting the door securely behind us. That’s when he tells me what happened. Tells me how the RDA had attacked Hometree and were now trying to take over the Forest. How Jake and the others tried to help the Navi and were caught and labeled traitors. How he and Trudy helped them escape. Each piece of info was like a knife to my heart. Everything pierced through me, when I asked about what had happened to them All he could tell me is that Jake was trying to get all the clans together to stop the RDA and that the board had somehow been set with jake neytiri and the natives on one side and my love and family on the other being pawns for the rda.

There’s no way. There was no way the people who would come see me and my baby and gush every time they saw him would lie to me. There’s no way the man I loved would lie to me and tell me everything was fine. No I, it couldn't be. I couldn't be stopped as I ran from the room. Once back in my own quarters I empty my stomach in the toilet almost shaking from rage and disappointment when I hear miles come in.

“Mamas your boys are home” Miles comes into the bedroom seeing me sitting on the bed looking pissed.

“What’s wrong darlin.”

“Don’t call me that right now miles.”

“Darlin?”

“DONT.! I got to know miles where do you and the others get off lying to my face.”

“Whatcha talking about”

“I know miles I know about the attack on hometree. I know about Jake and the others I KNOW.” I say screaming. Little miles now crying as I storm over and take him from his father, lulling him back to sleep and putting him in his little room while his predecessor tries to figure out what to say to me.

“Darlin now.”

“No miles this is wrong. I thought we understood each other I thought we agreed that we”

“Well you thought wrong. Darlin. We are not here to make friends with the natives, we are here for the rock in the ground.”

“Fuck that rock miles fuck the RDA the Navi are people they have emotions they have families just like us what makes us so much better to them to do this. They did nothing to us beside try and protect their home the same we would if the roles are reversed”

“Darlin, I think you forget who you're talking to.”

“No, I know exactly who I'm talking to. I'm talking to the man I thought was the love of my life but with every word is slowly proving to me he’s just as bad as everyone originally said.

Miles just grits his teeth as I get in his face. Just because I had a baby did not mean I wasn’t still a soldier. And he was about to relearn that real quick.

“y/n this is the mission i knew i should have pulled you from hanging out with those scientists sooner i knew you were getting too mushy for that natives.”

“Mushy miles what the fuck.”

“ENOUGH! He yells silencing my rant. “At the end of the day i am Colonel Quartich, at the end of the day i'm doing my duty to the human race, and i will not compromise that for anyone.”

“I'm not anyone, I'm your fiancé, the mother of your child. Im”

“You're still a soldier. A soldier under the RDA. Now I think it's time you take a little bit to remember whose side you’re actually on. Our or the savages outside.”

“The only savage I see right now is all of you.” I say as I throw my ring at him before snatching up baby miles things and locking ourselves in the spare bedroom.

I don't see that Miles breathes heavily, clutching his head as he tries not to punch a hole in the wall. I don't see how he reaches down and picks up my ring and pockets it or how he leaves and locks me and the baby in our quarters with strict orders to make sure we are taken good care of. Making sure i stay there while the next mission is about to commence, cause he knows deep down he'll lose me if i go out there.

But like miles said i am a soldier and even though i just had a baby i was not about to let my lover fuck everything up.

It took me most of the next day to get out of the room. But once i finally wired the room door to open I was met with no one there thank god most being called to the front lines. I run to the lab to find Max and others still there trying to figure out what to do. I run over and grab max

“y/n what are you doing”

“Max i dont have time. I have to stop this.”

“y/n there’s nothing you can do now”

“No stop there is always time ok. I need you to help me though i need y’all to look after my baby”

“What y/n no”

“Max, I swear to eywa right now help me.!”

He just puts his hands up and relents one of the female scientists Abby comes over in all her goth glory and takes little miles from Mac promising she would help look after him. I trusted her, she had a good head on her soldiers and was constantly coming to see the baby. She called him her ray of sunshine in the lab. I kiss Miles' little head breathing him in as he smiles up at me, his beautiful little blue eyes the picture of his father.

“I love you my baby. And I pray we are reunited. But I have to go knock some sense into your papa first. Please take care of him.”

“We will y/n. We promise, go give them hell.”

All I can do is nod as I rush away. Leaving half my heart behind in hells gate as the other is lost in the forest. Take one of the new roving speeders and hustle to try and get to the shack its a god ways way but the pilot having my gun to his head helped speed thing along. That is until an arrow comes flying in disabling the copter hurtling us down. The landing was definitely rough and my pilot was dead but i was close enough I could make it on foot. I start rushing through the forest making my way when out of nowhere Dickson comes into my view

He was a fellow soldier. Was on the same transport as me when we first arrived on Pandora but like his last name implied he was a massive dick.Misogynistic, self absorbed, everything wrong with a guy he had wrapped up in a package.

“Well ill be damned the rumors where true”

“And what rumors would that be.”

“That you turned your back on the colonel and the others from some blue dick.” I just grimace at his stupid face waiting to see what move he would make

“I know quartich said not to harm you but if your turning ass and hanging with the tree fuckers then you deserve to die here and now.”

“Then do it you punk ass bitch.” I say before coming at the soldier with gusto. My life is on the line, my son's life. The life of my friends. I have everything to lose and I won't let some gung ho jackass soldier take it all away from me. I need to get to Jake and the others I got to get somewhere to stop miles. Gun shots ring out as I ditch my gun to rush Dickerson. My knife meeting his chest multiple times effectively ending his existence. So long to bad rubbish

I don’t even look back, It wasn’t until I was finally speeding to the old shack that I felt the burning in my side. Shit. I yell out. I have nothing to stop the large hole in my side but I can’t let that stop me now. I'm almost there. I almost have everything I need in the palm of my hands. I know seeing me will stop miles I know I could get him to stand down.

Finally getting to the old shack I see Miles and Jake are going at it, both not backing down from the situation at hand. All I can do is clutch my side trying to stop the bleeding caused from that bitchs gun. I finally get into the clearing yelling out to the both of them.

“MILES, JAKE PLEASE STOP”

They both look over toward me seeing me stumble into the clearing. Jake is all done up in his warrior garb war paint on his face. He has a couple of cuts and nicks all over him. Miles wasn’t any better i dont know what happened to his amp suit but it now had no glass protection. Just miles with a exo mask over his face. The face that briefly looked upon me with worry and anxiety before his colonel mask came back up.

“Y/n get out of here it is not save”

“You don't speak to her sully”. Miles turns slightly to me still keeping jake in his peripheral vision

“Darlin what are you doing here you should be hooded up somewhere with the baby

“This needs to stop, Miles, this is wrong. You know that

“Darlin, I don't have the time to argue with you right now. I have to make sure this deserter piece off trash gets what’s coming to him

“Miles please, he just ignores me turning back to jake fully

“Jake i don't know how you and those scientists took here away from me but ill make sure you regret it

“Miles, listen to me please Jake has nothing to do with this. This is me please, I say trying to stumble further in front of jake. Him trying to reach out to me being shot back by the amp suit taking a giant step.

“Miles don't do this, let's just walk away please. We have little miles we have each other, everyone else that is left from our squad we can all stand down and go be real people, we can all be at peace with the Navi and have our own family. We don't need to fight.

“Darlin i know you aren’t telling me to turn my back on humanity

“No im telling you to choose your family and the people that matter over orders fro people who give two fucks if you lived or died today. Im begging you miles

I see his eyes cloud over with indecision. But I also saw Neytiri. I hadn’t noticed her before, preoccupied with my own wound and trying to save my family.

“Darlin you're right I.” “Neytiri NO.”

But everything is too late. Her arrows pierce through the air just as her battle cry does. All finding their target in my fiancés chest, as he and his suit go crashing into the pandorian forest floor

“NO!!!!!” I scream fumbling over to Miles exo suit.

“NO NO NO no come on miles please please please.”

He is still awake choking on the blood now filling his lungs. His eyes come over to me and he tries to lift his hand to cradle my face

“Miles please no”

“I'm sorry darlin”

“No don't be sorry I'm sorry please don't leave me. I love you so much. Please”

‘Darlin i love you tell miles I love him to”

“No you have to live to tell him yourself please.”

All i can do is clutch his hand against my face praying to whoever i can to save him. But it does nothing as the light leaves his eyes

“y/n”. I hear jake say behind me Gently coming up to me

“y/n”?

“No, leave us alone.”

“y/n come on it's not safe out here”

“It’s too late Jake please.”

Jake doesn’t listen to me and comes up kneeling next to me. Placing his giant blue hand on my shoulder I finally turned into him, letting him envelope me in the hug I oh so needed. Momentarily forgetting I was bleeding out and my love just died in my arms

“y/n I'm so sorry” he says but as he comes up to pull me away and look at me does he notice the blood now staining his hand “Shit y/n are you hit?.” he starts looking over me seeing the gaping wound in my stomach. He gently sits me to lie back on the ground trying to find something around us he can stop the bleeding with.

“Yeah one of those bitchs shot me.”

“It’s ok y/n will get you cleaned up ok Neytiri.” He yells but I just put my hand on his face to bring his attention back to me.

“Jake, I need you to do something for me ok.

“What y/n no you’ll be fine.”

Jake please i'm a soldier i know when a wound is bad. Neytiri please just stop. Neytiri now joins her mate next to me. She looks over me with a sad look in her eyes her ears pinned down almost guiltily but I didn’t blame her

I'm sorry, tiri i'm sorry for everything that has happened to you because of humans but I must ask you. Ask you both a few more favors.

I want you to take care of miles. He's just a baby. He's not his father, he's not me, he's the perfect mix of both. He will be a wonderful human, I know it in my heart. Please don't let him suffer. Please

“We will y/n i swear.” neytiri says next to me, taking my other hand in hers, placing it against her cheek.

I have something else to ask jake. Please give these to miles too.” I hand Jake my dog tags with my ring on them as well as quartichs tags with his.

Please tell him his father wasn’t a monster. He was just lost, and I failed to lead him out. Please

“We will y/n I promise”,

“Tell him I'm sorry I couldn't stay with him but I know he will be better off on Pandora instead of earth.”

They both just nod to me, tears filling their eyes. My body has long since gone cold and I know my time is near.

“My final request for you is to bury us both somewhere nice.

What? Jake asks solumely

“Yeah somewhere beautiful, somewhere in the sun together, maybe then we will be together in the next life.” They both promise me and watch as the rain begins to drop slowly the light finally leaves me and they both just look down in shame and saddens neytiri hugging my small body to her saying prayers to eywa for mine and miles soul. How could she refuse her friend's wishes? She may have not agreed with who her friend's love was but love was sacred. Her and jake would follow the women’s wishes

After the fighting was over Jake, Neytiri and the other avatars and people that had known followed my wishes. Neytiri draped me in a beautiful fabric covered with flowers. Miles was given the same treatment given a warriors garb. Both of us positioned next to each other for the rest of eternity. The omaticaya tell stories of the butcher of the hometree and how he wasn’t evil, just misguided and how it takes those around you to help each other find the right way. The story is really becoming an essential teaching lesson for all children. Miles or spider as he likes to go by now grows alongside the other sully children. Jake and Neytiri really stepped up to be parents to him along with the others who were allowed to stay alongside the Navi after the humans' mass exit. He was definitely wild but very much loved. He knew who his birth parents were and he learned how much they had loved him. Every year he and the others all go out to the grave site to pay their respects.

Everything is perfect for 16 years until one night more stars than usual fill the pandorian night sky.

#miles quaritch x reader #avatar way of water #avatar fanfiction #spider x reader #deja blue team x reader #sully family x reader

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starlight-write · 5 months ago

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And they said I’d never make it…

Seriously though, thank you to everyone who got this dingy ass blog to triple digits. 😂

Also, I know I’ve gone MIA for more than a few weeks but i promise I'm not dead.

These past two months have been a bit crazier than usual. My dad was hospitalized due to an ongoing neurological disorder that couldn't be properly treated cause insurance decided to absolutely FUCK us for some reason.

Had to go no contact with over half of my extended family cause we're all dysfunctional ASF and this led to a lot of fights. Plus we live on a farm and with both parents out of the house it was just my brother and I taking care of a shit ton of animals.

But yeah that's where I've been. I'm hoping to be more active now that things are looking up. Also working on a Digital Circus fanfic I haven't updated since JANUARY as well as a few other projects I've started on top of my programming assignments.

Gonna get pretty busy but hopefully I'll have time these next couple of weeks to knock some shit out.

Also! If you want to read the first two chapters of my TADC fic I'll link it down below. Already halfway done with the third chapter! However, it's not a tickle fic whatsoever. Just a seperate timeline I thought up after watching the first episode.

~~~

Pomni Rizz (9145 words) by Radiated_Airpod Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Amazing Digital Circus (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Pomni & Ragatha (The Amazing Digital Circus) Characters: Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus), Ragatha (The Amazing Digital Circus), Caine (The Amazing Digital Circus), Jax (The Amazing Digital Circus), Kinger (The Amazing Digital Circus), Zooble (The Amazing Digital Circus), Gangle (The Amazing Digital Circus), Bubble (The Amazing Digital Circus) Additional Tags: I took this shit way to seriously, I honestly don't know what this is supposed to be, But I love Pomni so much omg, I'm working with 25min of actual content please have mercy, Honestly praying that the next episode doesn't come out before this is finished Summary: Pomni struggles to keep her sanity as she navigates her way through digital purgatory.

~~~

ALSO! Irrelevant ASF but I got an autograph from Keith David at con last weekend!

#non tickles #hazbin hotel #sfw tickling community #personal #tadc #tadc fic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ignore the ungodly amount of drafts in my box

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mayalaen · 8 months ago

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what i'm working on

Somebody asked me to post titles and summaries of what I'm working on. I don't think they expected THIS much but I always have tons of stuff in my working folder.

In His Image - (ST) the Steddie genderswap fic I'm currently posting.

CONventional Psychopathy Part 4 - (SPN) Dean takes Cas to Gadreel's loft to recover. Also working on Part 5, 6, and 7.

How I Spent My Summer Probation - (ST) Eddie fic with disciplinarian Uncle Wayne and Papa Hopper

OCF - (ST) omegas in a correctional facility for a certain Fishie

Eyeless (named after the Slipknot song) (Fargo/ST) Gator from Fargo in prison with Billy and Eddie fic

Bullseye Studios - (ST) a pr0n studio just outside Hawkins

The Billionaires' Club - (SPN AU) Billionaires are outlawed and once they hit $1b in assets, they're assigned a caretaker who disciplines them and keeps them from being evil.

?Vampires? - (SPN/AtS/BtVS) Dean gets turned by Spike and has his entire life changed in the blink of an eye.

?Interrogation Room? - (ST) shortfic? where Hopper decides Eddie, Billy, and Steve have gotten into too much trouble and need a firm hand so he spanks them in the interrogation room but oops Billy likes it!

?Eddie Has Siblings? - (ST) Eddie has an abusive older brother and sister. Wayne got him away from them, but they've come to Hawkins to visit baby brother.

Caging the Mongoose Timestamp - (SPN) Dean fucks up. Bad. And on purpose for attention. So he gets spanked right in an interrogation room in The Post Office by Dembe and Cooper.

A Faceless Demon - (SPN) KinkDotCom fusion with Van helping Dean let go of some shit.

You Live Here Now - (Fargo/ST) Munch doesn't blind Gator. He drops him off at a ranch in Hawkins, Indiana instead where Hopper, Billy, and a few others help rehabilitate him against his will.

?Eddie & The Basketball Team? - (ST) Eddie gets into a bad situation at a party. Billy's there to pick up the pieces.

??? - (ST/HDM) Future fic with daemons where Billy is a firefighter living with an abusive partner but his daemon thinks that paramedic guy is a much better partner, and she also thinks his daemon is hot.

Billy Has to Ask - (ST) Max is sick of Billy's shit. El scares the shit out of him and from then on he mostly does what Max says. If he fucks up, she makes him go to an adult and ask for a spanking.

??? - (X-Files/SPN) Sam and Dean are undercover but so are Skinner and Mulder. Skinner doesn't like Dean's attitude or Sam's arguments, so he puts them under FBI care. Namely himself.

?Threesome Soulmate AU? - I don't even know what fandom I want this in but it's an idea that's been stuck in my head for years and wants to come out. An aro, an ace, and a demi are all very reluctant soulmates.

Long Distance Call - (SPN) Dean's an omega without an alpha until their newest roommate, Pamela Barnes, moves in.

I'm probably missing a few, but there ya go!

#writing is hard #about me #long post #wips

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mesanthropi · 1 year ago

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hihihi moots as svt memes go!

i feel like i know you from somewhere, anon 👁️👁️ but i have a shit ton of those so LET'S GO. I'M DOING THIS FOR ALL MY MUTUALS (memes under the readmore)

@wheeboo still can't believe we're moots. anyway, i literally just clicked on this one solely for the captions, but i guess i just gravitated to seungkwan naturally. we're all shocked by capitalism, but ate rani would be the most shocked by it. (she'd hate gas prices here in the ph)

@weird-bookworm these are all gonna be gose pictures, huh? /j this was literally her with me earlier this afternoon. like i was all "should i let the intrusive thoughts win", she came into the replies, then on discord HAHAHAHAH im so sorry you have to deal with my nonsense, but i am stuck with you like oxygen to blood cells.

@3ninth ok not a kpop mutual, but i don't have many mutuals so ya'll are here now no matter what fandom you come from 👉👉 homie is my fellow discord mod. miss her sm fr, hopefully she's back when the owner pops back in from school activities!! if you see this, paula, hope ur having a great time. if not, tell us who we need to beat up

@fairyhaos ATE YENAAAA <33 ok so as an alternative, there's [this], but! primarily, she's giving. this specific mingyu pic. this was defo them during the shua dating rumors and i don't blame her, BUT ALSO. I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ALSO A THING WHENEVER AN ILLEGAL REQ POPS INTO THE ASK BOX. WHEN ARE WE GETTINBG AN UPDATE ON THE COUNT /JJJ

@kyeomyun she's the homie frfr actually. jadaders would tbh go "that's unfortunate" with the biggest smile on her face if there's any minor inconvenience that happens to either you or her. it's either in a way where girlie is fr amused by your misfortune, or this is a call for help. she's going thru it @ school so hopefully she gets a break soon ^^

@i-luvsang just for you, i'm getting an atz meme (and also bc its their 5th debut anniv <3). feel like marimoon would get the nearest stuffed animal in a shop, call for me, and do this with the blankest face they can manage. i'd lose my mind ofc i laugh at everything but especially shit like this. it's deadpan humor, i swear

@hannyoontify KIKIEEEEEEE <333 DO YOU LOVE ME /LYR /J anyway, kie!! my homie kie, we miss you here at residencia misantropia. moving on, we have this lovely jeonghan screenshot from a knowing bros episode. feel like this is their mood sometimes. hopefully you're taking care of yourself, man! when you come back, we're here with open arms fr ong!!

@joshuahonggf JIAAAA we don't talk much but i adore her sm. [img text's rough tr: i know you're getting nervous about tomorrow, sis] we'd probably be the type of homies who'd spam e/o on discord about a project we're grouped up in. or an exam. or a performance, one or the other. but we end up doing great anyway B))) we're cool like that

@haowrld HI PRE 👉👉👉 abnother filo buddy of mine hehehe. wishing u luck on ur fic btw! i assign to you this woozi screenshot. because sometimes, we get those moments of having zero thoughts in our head. this is also at every writer ever, we're good at imnagining shit but actually writing it is either the hardest thing ever or it comes naturally. goodluckies!!

@wqnwoos HANA WHO CAME BACK BECAUSE ANON CALLED THEM POOKIE 👉👉👉 /jjj but seriously, hana was one of the ppl i first followed after i discovered svt fics on tumblr. she's one of the firsy writer si followed!! but considerinh the fact that she used my iwn salt shaker threat against me, this is what they'd send me i think. idk. its lke 1:21 am im getting sillier with these

@mach1nat1on YOU. ASSHOLE. TRAUMATIZER. IMN GIVING YOU THIS BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I FEEL SOMETIMES WHENEVER YOU DO SOME SHIY IN THE PRIVATE SERVER. YOU HURT MY BBGS YOU HURT ME!! DID YOU KNOW THAT!?!?!??! NOW YOU'RE JUST SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW 🗣️🗣️ but i also love u dw i forgive u everytime and i support your righst and your wromgs. just know that we are forever in a love/hate relationship

@lumasahina im gonna sc this and send this to our priv server but!! hey dude <3 traumatizer numero uno right beside mac and holls. this is you wnheever i manage to put lore into my silly little writings and my silly little characters. and for the record, just so you know, i feel the same way sometimes. i love how you do lore tho! it's always so well-done n they flow well hehe

@holland (not @ing for other reasons) my HOMIE OF ALL HOPMIES, MY POOKIECAKES MY POOKUMS SNOOKUMS <3 sorry abt that those were rge demons. the voices. anyway! here's your assigned meme. skz just for you. i'd take pics of you like this. those 0.5 angles on iphone, then use them as reaction pics or emojis in our server. but i would also cherish these pictures bc they're you and you r my resident "across the world homie for years". stay safe, drink water, and i hope to finish ur req soon aughhhh

holy shit its like 1:53am now wtf

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wesperbrekkered · 1 year ago

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🤡 ✨⛔️👀 for the fic ask game please!🫶🏻

Thank youuu!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I don't normally write things that make me laugh because I tend to overthink my own humour (love that for me 😒) but this one from the Spiderverse fic got a little giggle out of me:

“If by movie night you mean making out with me until I can’t breathe, then yeah,” Wylan said easily, his eyes squinting into tiny white slits and oh hell.

“Cool,” Jesper said, feeling decidedly not cool at all.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Uhhh that is the hardest question ever!! But I guess I really do like how I write angst (nobody is surprised...). I suppose I'm a little chuffed at the way I can describe internal conflict and the feeling of emotional pain to the point even I can tear up sometimes, which doesn't happen easily!

(Is this because i just self project my own shit onto Jesper?? Maybe...)

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Many... many many... Two of the wips in wip list rn actually, the Soulmate AU (Artwork Etched Onto Scars) and the domestic Fluff one (Rose Tinted Glasses) because I just could not physically get into it!! I find writing Fluff extremely hard for me, so in order to be able to enjoy writing it I need to love the concept, which I don't with either of those wips. However, I am trying to finish them, slowly but surely, so they may see the light of day!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Hehe gladly! The wip I'm most excited for is the Detective AU (50 Ways To Kill A Man) because I read a lot of crime novels (Dick Frances my beloved) so I've got tons of random, murder solving related things in my head that I can pop into this!

It's going to follow Jesper, a detective who's been on the force for nearly ten years, as he attempts to solve an obscure murder curse while Wylan, the new guy, is assigned to the case to shadow Jesper.

While they're solving this case, more murders pop up with similar descriptions but are older deaths that make the two believe that they are possibly dealing with a serial killer or a revenge death.

I won't say much more (cos spoilers) but I'm SO excited to finally let you guys reas this!!

Here's a lil snippet from it, cos yeah.

Jesper slammed the phone down with a triumphant grin.

Across the table from him, Inej raised a curious eyebrow. “What’s got you all excited?” She asked somewhat sceptically, pausing on her report. Leaning back on his chair, Jesper crossed his arms behind his head, grinning. “My darling Inej,” he said, ignoring her eyeroll, “Councillor Hoede is dead!”

Inej frowned, “you shouldn’t be so happy over someone’s death,” she scolded, but Jesper only shook his head. “Okay first of all,” he said with a pointed finger, “Hoede is a piece of shit for whom I have no sympathy for.” Inej's frown didn’t let up, but her mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly, which Jesper took as a win.

“Secondly, nobody knows how he died, so yours truly as been assigned to figure out how the old fecker actually kicked it.”

His words may have been disrespectful, but Jesper couldn’t find it in him to care. None of the members of the Merchant Council ever gave a shit about anyone under their station, and Hoede in particular was notorious for paying his workers less then a liveable wage. Screw him for being more excited about paying his own bills with this murder case.

#jesper fahey #wesper fanfic #send anons #wesper #six of crows #crooked kingdom #writing prompts #wylan x jesper #six of crows jesper #jesper x wylan

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birgittesilverbae · 2 years ago

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aaaaaask meme

7, 10, 18, 24, 26, 29

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I answered this previously, but 7 when it comes to you specifically is making you yell at me. fills me with warmth

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Your star wars au Shannon death makes me want to disappear (and your description of Bea's elbow stuff) asking this question has made me forget everything I've ever read tbh. I've been haunted by stuff I never finished, and I'll stumble over it and just get slapped in the face

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

from tmtl ch5, rewatching ep6 for the millionth time I got stuck on the fact that Bea's had to drive out to Ronda alone and then back with Mary and sit in the knowledge that they've lost Lilith too and their family of four has been cut in half in the blink of an eye

outline/v1: The return trip with Mary. Quiet, stilted questions. Not on the same wavelength, interrupting each other and apologising because they don't know how to fill the spaces that have been left for other voices.

v2: "Would you just look at me?" // "I can't. Because I look at you and all I see is her."

v3: "You're all I have left. Shannon's dead. Lilith's dead. Mary, you're all I have left." // "I can't." Mary's voice is hoarse. "Even just sitting here– You still use her soap." It's not a question. "I sit here and I smell her and when I look at you all I can see are the fingerprints she left behind. And I'm sorry, Beatrice, but I can't fucking deal with that right now."

v4: "You're all I have left,” Beatrice continues, unable to hold her tongue now that the first stones in the dam have cracked. “Shannon's dead. Lilith's dead. Mary, you're all I have left. Look at me. Please." // "I can't." Mary's voice is hoarse. "Even just sitting here– You still use her soap." It's not a question. "I sit here and I smell her and when I look at you all I can see are the fingerprints she left behind. And I'm sorry, Beatrice, but I can't fucking deal with that right now."

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

it depends on the story; tmtl for each scene I had a one sentence outline for the exact emotional beats I wanted to hit, and then a paragraph outline with scene beats and callbacks, and then a bulletpoint outline to detail the exact shape of the scene. fic: nature is gonna end up with the same sort of treatment but probably less intense about it. tmau prep work has involved a shit ton of academic papers and spreadsheets. if it's not clear, I really love prep work, I haven't had as much opportunity for research work in my day-to-day lately so I've been really digging in. honestly fic: dads has been such a departure in that it's been an exercise for me in trying to do absolutely no planning

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I'll typically have a song assigned to a character for a specific fic and listen to that repeatedly if I'm having trouble getting into their mindset. getting out of it usually isn't that difficult, head empty brain go brr etc. but if I'm getting to stuck in something I go watch cooking videos on youtube tbh. there are a couple points I've hit where I've been writing something and had to take a step back and go 'okay, it's not good for me to be here right now I need to walk away' but I don't know that I regret those points so much as they give me more insight into myself

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

I usually turn to my sad bangers playlist (which I've been familiarizing you with cas hehe) if I'm in the need for inspiration, and lately when I've been stuck on something I've gone and stared at @princington 's art until I'm Fixed (read: made worse (affectionate))

#ask #ask meme #daisychainsandbowties #fic: tmtl

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pumpkinnning · 1 year ago

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leo you didn't know what you got yourself into, baby.

for the "know your ficwriter" thingy:

2; 4; 14; 15 & 16 (that's a lot i know, hehe, but i love to hear your thoughts)

ahah joke's on you i love ranting about my writing so thank you so much for humoring me <3

2 : Do you plan each chapter or do you write as you go ? I have an outline for at least a few chapters ahead, in general, with a scene list, but those often end up changing a lot as I actually write. I've never written a story without at least a little bit of an outline though, I don't like writing if I don't know where I am going, I need that flow of energy that the story gives me, if that makes sense

4 : Where do you find inspirations for new ideas ? I don't know, everywhere ? Writer is like one of the basic modes of my brain lmao so whenever any information or experience enters one of my first reactions is like, so how can I use this in a story ? And then it's constantly running scenarios and trying to fuse ideas into each other and I think that's when my stories come together - by making interesting mixes of stuff. Like a recipe or a potion lmao. There are a few big themes that come back constantly - like awe for big scary overwhelming forces of nature, loneliness, trauma, the sacred, the horrors and wonders of having a body, power, freedom, devotion, etc - and then I'm just looking for more specific lenses to explore them through. I honestly think if you're paying attention you can find ideas absolutely anywhere. That said when I'm blocked or my writing feels stale I love reading a good book or watching a cool movie because that regenerates my belief in the power of good storytelling. Or going somewhere I've never been to before.

14: how do you write emotional scenes ? Do you ever feel what the characters feel ? Do you draw from personal experiences ? Tbh for me all scenes are emotional, if there's no emotions it feels dead and there's no point in writing it. And yeah I'm very method with my writing, I need to feel it to be inspired - generally it's an enjoyable process, even for negative stuff it's cathartic. And yes, I draw a lot from personal experiences, not directly but transformed and amplified - writing is in general very therapeutic for me, even though I try to not go too far with that because it doesn't always make for the most interesting stuff to read haha.

15: How do you write smut scenes ? Do you get very visual or detailed ? How important is it to be realistic ? To me smut is a great way to get into the mindset and emotions of characters and peeling back some layers, so that's the most important thing to figure out - although sometimes it's just yeah that would be hot, does it fit the Theme lmfao. In real life it's silly to assign arbitrary meanings to particular acts but in a story it's very interesting to figure out what it symbolizes. I like writing kinky stuff as well because it makes that more explicit. In terms of details - no, not really, because honestly I think if a character's POV gets too fixated on details it means they're probably too in their heads and not really enjoying the experience so it can quickly feel artificial. I think the key is about picking the right details. But also it's just HARD to find words to describe that kind of stuff without sounding corny lmao. As for the realism, hm, as long as you can understand what everybody is doing and there's no weird impossible anatomy going on, I'm not THAT hung up on it, it's meant to be a fantasy anyway - but the best smut does tend to have some realistic moments at least because it's more human and interesting and sexy if it's not just acting out a perfect boring choreography.

16: how many fic ideas are you nurturing right now ? share one of them ? I have a shit ton of ideas but I am trying to be disciplined and not start anything until I have finished sanctuary. (except maybe a few short one shots like my solarpunk wizards AU). All sebchal for now. One I have been thinking about a lot is an absolutely insane multiverse thing with several seemingly unrelated stories that get framed in several different ways - one that happens in a decaying post apocalyptic seaside town ruled by the mob with haunted old hollywood vibes/romeo + juliet/also with illegal car racing and a bad ending ; one where Seb is a cult leader ; one where they're both women in a cyberpunk crap future where Seb is a bounty hunter and Charles is an escort and they end up teaming up against the kingpin that wants to make their lives miserable and then they leave town together ; anyway a few others i'm not sure if i'm ever going to get to it because it would be enormous but it's very fun to think about. also i really want to write a BDSM focused fic at some point. and maaaaaaybe a sanctuary sequel.

#sanctuary au #about me #ask games

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allaboutnayeli · 7 months ago

Text

my heart over yours | j.fleming x reader

prompt: everyone has always said the friendship between jessie and you was too intimate. that the two of you were too close, but you never believed them until you got a girlfriend.

author notes: trying a slightly new style for this fic. i don't know rather to make this into a series or just a oneshot, so you can read this as a prologue or just a stand alone. anyways here's a fic for my canadian babygirl jessie 🙇🏽‍♀️ enjoy!

contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, homoerotic friendship low-key, jealous!jessie if you squint, aj not understanding shit about canada, slightly messy timeline sorry y'all 💔, super long grab a snack lay back relax

masterlist to other parts

playing thinkin bout you by frank ocean 🎵

you have known jessie since she was seven years old. with her moving into your neighborhood in elementary, at first you didn't try to interact with her. she was just the girl with freckles who was always outside. the shy girl in class who you would sometimes be paired up with for meaningless assignments. jessie just didn't stand out to you; she didn't talk much during class and usually kept to herself.

it was your mother that pushed you towards being friends with her. during summer vacation, your mother thought it would be an amazing idea to put you into the local girls soccer club. you have always been an energetic kid, but that summer when you turned eight was when she had enough of you running around the house.

"it will be a great opportunity. you can get all that energy out of your system," your mother said one night when you were helping her cook; standing on a stool next to her at the counter. she pinched your cheek when she mentioned your chaotic-ness. you had scrunched your nose back then. due to the sharp pang of pain from her pinch and the internal disagreement you had with her decision.

you didn't know the first thing about soccer. you hardly watched it, only when your father would tell you to come and cuddle with him while he watched chelsea matches. "they're just kicking around a ball.." you would mumble, your head resting against his chest, and he would always playfully scold you. going on and going on about how soccer is much more than just kicking around ball. you would just nod in agreement with his words when deep down you didn't have a clue what he was on about.

that girls soccer club is what sent you right into jessie's arms. the fellow canadian was excited when she spotted you at the first practice of the summer. she didn't even know you would be coming to play soccer this summer; jessie has been meaning to talk you all school year. too intimidated to say anything. you were loud, always raising your hand in class, and had tons of friends. where would she even fit? now that jessie had the opportunity to get some type of close to you, she was ready to take it.

"we have the same cleats," she said when she approached you. a bashful smile on her lips as she looked down at you on the ground. you giggled, glancing from your cleats to hers. the two pairs of cleats were the same exact ones; a nice white base with a blue nike sign on the shoes. it seemed like you two had the same taste or at least your mothers did.

you sat up, dusting off the grass from your t-shirt. jessie offers a hand to help you up that you accept. "yeah. sorry for copying you, freckles," you joke. jessie lets out a giggle. she didn't get why being called freckles by you almost made her blush back then. she's been called it plenty of times by others at school, why was it different with you?

"it's fine. to gain my forgiveness, you just have to be my friend," the freckled girl joked back. you two fall into a conversation full of nothing while waiting for practice to start. the conversation may have been meaningless at the time, but it was the start of something great.

the friendship between jessie and you grew quickly. with you carpooling with her to practice and every game that entire summer since your parents had schedules full of work. sometimes you would even sleepover jessie's house. leading you to get to know her older brother tristan; you soon grew a sister-brother like relationship with him. with you having no siblings of yours at the time, you clung to the teasing words of his and all the extra snacks he let jessie and you get at midnight when you two were supposed to be in bed.

when school came back around, there was a small fear in jessie that you would ditch her. all of your other friends were way louder than her and seemed more interesting, but that would be the furthest thing from the truth. you keep her around, introducing her to all of your friends who already knew about jessie due to her being a champ in cross-country for the elementary school.

jessie and yours friendship grew even deeper as you two became older. not just the relationship between you two, but also the relationship between your families. your mother would always invite jessie's over for her girl nights when she had the chance. jessie's father sound found out about your father's soccer obsession and they became close over that. when jessie's mother was pregnant with elysse, jessie's younger sister, your mother was the one who threw the baby shower.

you two become so apart of each other's life that it didn't make sense for the friendship to ever falter. y'all were always together to the point that some of your friends would question your friendship.

"is jessie like your girlfriend?" said clair, one of your close friends in eighth grade (not closer than jessie and you but still), while walking to class one day. you stop in your tracks. glancing at the blonde girl who's a few steps ahead of you. she looks back at you with a questioning look, "what?"

"what do you mean, what?" you look around to see if anyone else heard her words. the hall wasn't too crowded, but it definitely wasn't empty. "no. jess is not my girlfriend, just my bestfriend," you say. shrugging off her words as you walk up to catch up with her. clair gives you a look that says i don't believe you but you ignore it because what is she on about? you aren't dating jessie. she's your bestfriend, nothing more.

clair's words stuck with you for the rest of the day. why would she even think of something like that? how could she just get the guts to ask a weird question like that?

at the end of the school day when you met up with jessie at the school doors, so you two could leave, you wanted to bring it up. fortunately you don't. instead listening to jessie ramble on about her recent non-fiction obsession that she was able to read in class. her hand is interlocked with yours as you two walk towards her mother's car. she only lets go of your hand when she slips into the backseat of the truck, patting the spot next to her to signal you to hurry up and get in.

"i was going to get in regardless," you giggle, sitting down next to her in the backseat. you shut the door once settled, saying a few words of greeting to jessie's mother before focusing all of your attention on her.

"you weren't going fast enough for me," jessie immediately grabs your hand after you snap in your seatbelt. she couldn't help herself. the feeling of your hand against hers made her feel grounded. "sorry, princess. i'll go faster next time," you joke. leaning your head against her shoulder as jessie ignores your teasing and goes back to rambling.

it takes only fifteen minutes to reach jessie and yours neighborhood. her mom pulling up into their family driveway before hopping out. telling jessie to do her laundry once jessie gets out of the car, bringing you along with her. she holds onto both of your backbags, something she always does, claiming that she doesn't want your back to be hurting from the weight.

"okay, i got it, ma," jessie says. waiting for her mom to go into the house before following after. you're still a bit drowsy from drifting off in the truck, so you just follow along. briefly waving at your mom who you catch a glance of down the street before fully being dragged into the house. jessie drops you two's backbags near the bench in the entrance hallway before pulling you to her bedroom upstairs.

the girl has been missing you all day since you two unfortunately aren't in the same class this year. not being able to hear your voice or play with your fingers when she was bored in class has been driving her insane all that; she didn't really get why, but who cares for reasoning when it's not important in the moment?

"are you going to come to my next cross-country meet?" the freckled girl says, letting go of your hand once you two are in the privacy of her bedroom. you give a tired nod, walking over to her bed to sit on it. she gives you a sharp look, not wanting you to sit on her bed with your outside clothes. you groan but still get up and move over to her closet to look through her clothes. it was a casual thing to wear jessie's clothes. she was your bestfriend, you guys share everything.

the room falls into silence as you two change. it doesn't feel awkward to change around jessie; she has seen you get changed before in the girls soccer club locker room at away games. nothing ever felt awkward with the girl. she never made anything weird; she was jessie, your jessie. you can do whatever around her without judgement.

you slip into some cotton shorts and one of jessie's weird space t-shirts while jessie changed into a tank top and pajama pants. she moves to cut on her tv. scrolling past the different apps on the smart tv before landing on youtube; throwing on some gaming video that would just be background noise for you two.

"hm, can you pull down the blackout blinds, please?" you pout at her. coming close to give her a half hug that makes her scoff.

"only if i get a real hug," jessie says. you roll your eyes in playful annoyance before pulling her into a full hug. swaying slightly as you rub at her back. jessie lets out a content sigh, taking in the scent of your coconut bodywash. the smell always calms her, she don't know why and doesn't really care to know. the hug lasts for a long moment with neither jessie or you wanting to pull away.

but unfortunately, jessie pulls away first. you give her a mock sad look before moving past her to go lay on her bed. she pulls down her blackout blinds before laying in bed beside you.

you pull her close like you always do when you two take your daily afterschool naps. it always feels like your body slots in perfectly against hers. jessie plays with your hair, letting the silence between you two settle.

you nearly drift off, but the question from clair earlier interrupts your peaceful dip into the world of sleep. is jessie like your girlfriend? rings throughout your mind. why would clair ask that? does jessie wonder the same sometimes..? you have to ask her.

jessie is already half asleep. you can tell by her slow breathing and the way she's trying to keep her eyes open, but just keep failing. she lets out a soft hum when you start to speak,

"do you think we act like girlfriends?" you ask softly. your question makes jessie open her eyes in surprise. she narrows her eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness in the room, before her glance stops on you.

"who said that?" she mumbles. it wasn't the first time someone had suggested that jessie and you were anything, but friendly. she hears the rumors around school about how people think you two are lesbians; for some reason that thought doesn't bother her much, but she would never mention that to you. it's the one thing she keeps a secret from you, locked away in the back of her mind.

you slightly shrug, your legs tangling with hers. "clair.. she gave me a look after too when i said you were just my bestfriend.." you trail off, frowning, "like i was some liar."

jessie lets out a chuckle before pressing her face against your forehead. "just your bestfriend? wow i thought we were closer than that..." she playfully says. trying to lighten the mood and get that frown off of your lips. she can hear in your voice and she hates it.

you laugh softly, "shush. you're proving their point." you give her arm a gentle pinch, making her let out a soft ow. you two joke around for a few moments before the tiredness from the day starts to really set it in. soon enough jessie stops talking, letting her eyes close and you follow soon after. happily drifting off in her arms.

once secondary school came around, the thoughts around jessie and your friendship got even worse. the other students at school saw jessie holding your hand while also holding your bag on the first day of school and ran with it. even when you both actively denied it, nobody believed you two. in everyone else eyes you two were dating or at least on the way to that step.

even people within your friendgroup were skeptical. especially your closest friend (outside of jessie) sabrina who didn't get how you two were so attached. the friendship between jessie and you just felt deeper than she ever seen before.

when jessie got her first senior national team call-up, that's when sabrina's skeptical boiled over. while you have given up soccer near the end of eighth grade, jessie had kept going. she was always more serious about the sport than you were. it was just an outlet for your energy and when you slowly found other ways to get all that energy out, you didn't find the need for soccer anymore; that feeling was back in sixth grade, but you held out on leaving the girls soccer club until two years later because of jessie. soccer felt like y'all's thing and you wanted to keep it that way, but you couldn't keep playing it when you wanted to do other things, so eventually you left.

instead you started to work during the ninth grade school year and have been saving up to go to a concert for the following year in tenth grade. however when tenth grade year came around and jessie told you that she got a senior national team call-up, you were quick to use that money to get a ticket to brazil and a ticket for the first game where canada plays at the tournament. keeping it a secret from jessie to surprise her. you of course had to get some help from tristan since your mother wouldn't allow fifteen year old you go to an completely different continent, but still you were going.

"do you think she's going to like it?" you asked while studying with sabrina for a math test. it's two weeks before jessie had to go to camp in brazil; you have been keeping your surprise a secret for a while now and was ready to tell her the next time you saw her.

"i mean yeah, it's you we're talking about," sabrina replies. looking up from her notes to look at you. a frown grows on your lips as you notice her tone; like your question was dumb. "what do you mean it's me we're talking about?" you give her a confused look.

"you know what i mean. jessie would like anything you give her because she likes you," she says. empathizing the she likes you part. the frown on your lips deepen. her words carry some sort of annoyance. you don't reply, going back to reviewing your notes. when you don't say anything back sabrina quickly tries to make the situation better by saying, "it's not like i'm homophobic or something. i don't care that you're dating jessie."

"i'm not dating jessie!" you shout, quietening your voice after realizing how loud you were, "she's my bestfriend and i can't believe that you of all people would say something like that."

"stop lying to yourself, y/n! would you spend your money on going to an entirely different country for anyone else? for me? or serena? or any of our friends? i think not."

"they aren't jessie! sorry, but she's more important to me than anyone else. i want to be there when she first gets to be on the pitch," you reason, "it's not because i'm like inlove with her." not looking at sabrina afterwards, already knowing she's giving you a look of i don't believe you.

sabrina starts to fight against your words, but can't even get a sentence out before your phone starts vibrating; jessie's contract showing up on your screen. you look at sabrina before answering the phone.

"hey jess," you say as you get up and leave out of sabrina's room. not wanting her to hear the conversation between jessie and you after her weird.. accusation? you didn't know what to call it. you just knew you didn't want her to hear a word you were going to say to jessie. you go to sit on the top of the stairs. leaning your head against the wall as jessie speaks, "hey. i was missing you.. where are you?"

"sabrina's. we have this big math test, so she asked to study together," you say. jessie lets out a sigh on the other line. "oh.. i was going to ask if you could come over. i feel like i haven't seen you all day and we haven't taken our daily nap yet.. so," she says.

you giggle, jessie would never directly ask you to leave someone else's place to come to hers, it's rude but you can tell that's what she wants just from her voice alone. "i'll come over. we were almost done anyways," you say.

you can hear the smile on jessie's lips on the other line. "really? you don't have to.. but thanks," she says. you hang up afterwards. going back into sabrina's room to put your notebook back into your bag before texting your mom to come pick you up. sabrina was annoyed when you told her you were leaving, with her saying something about how you would blow off anyone for jessie. you just shrug her words off and went outside to wait on the porch for your mom. not wanting to stay in sabrina's house any longer.

it takes ten minutes, but you get from sabrina's to your own house. putting your backbag away in your room before running off to jessie's house. greeting her mother and father on the way to her room. letting all the tension from sabrina's fall from your shoulders as you step inside of her room. before you can say anything, jessie gets off of her bed and comes close to you. pulling you into a hug, she lets out a content sigh.

"been missing you all day," she mumbles into your neck. you smile, one of your hands rubbing at her upper back while the other is on her waist. you let out your own content sigh; you have been missing jessie the entire day as well. it wasn't normal for the two of you to go a few hours without eachother unless it's when jessie would get called up to youth national team camps and tournaments. even then she would call you every time she had the chance to, claiming she missed your voice.

she pulls towards her bed without letting you go. taking her arm from around your waist to push the covers on her bed over before pulling you down onto the bed with her.

"so clingy.." you whisper against her ear. she just chuckles, moving so that you both are fully on the bed before pulling the covers over you two. you're laying on top of her now, your thighs hugging her hips.

"told you i missed you.." she whispers back. closing her eyes; with you finally in her arms and the darkness of her room, jessie was getting sleepy.

the earlier conversation with sabrina is still on your mind, but you decide against bringing it up. jessie was used to people making assumptions about you two, so it would be no use to bring it up. instead you just let out a hum of acknowledgement, slowly becoming sleepy as well.

"missed you too.." you murmured before letting yourself drift off.

the rest of highschool was a whirlwind for jessie and you's friendship. when you surprised her at the chile vs canada game at the tournament in brazil, she nearly cried when she saw tristan and you after the loss against chile. you were wearing one of her old soccer jerseys, the letters on the back of it basically faded away. you had even bought her flowers that she took gratefully. that night you didn't go back to your hotel room, but to jessie's. after the loss she needed the comfort and you were the right person for it. thankfully her roommate wasn't staying in the room that night, deciding to go out with the rest of the adults in the team.

you held her in your arms, reassuring her that she played well and that the loss wasn't based off her performance. chile just played a better game than canada that evening. jessie had finally let herself cry, burying her face into your chest. she only let herself cry around you; finding it too embarrassing around others. you are the only one who can truly comfort her, it was just different with you.

that following morning, jessie slept in with you. too tired from everything that happened yesterday. the rest of the day was spent in that hotel room mostly with jessie being too tired to leave her bed and refusing to let you either. you left brazil a day before the canadian national team did, with a bunch of texts from jessie coming in when you landed back in canada.

in the same school year is when jessie got recruited by ucla. she was so confused about the recruitment process and you two spent a good hour or two looking at youtube videos about how these types of trips usually go a few days before she was meant to leave. you two spent an entire week (before jessie was even getting recruited) talking about what colleges you two wanted to attend; with you thinking about going over to england for university or maybe closer to home, right next door, in america. while jessie was unsure about where she wanted to go. the soccer college scene in america was interesting to her and made the most sense for her career. also american college sounded fun, at least that's what she got from the movies and vlogs she watched over the years. jessie didn't want to be stuck in canada forever; she wanted to branch out and see new things.

when jessie went on the trip, half of her time was split between looking around campus and getting to know the team and the rest was spent talking to you on the phone. she wished you could be there with her. the freckled girl just wanted to share every experience with you; that's what bestfriends do. you missed her dearly as well while she was away. coming over to her house three times out of the week she was gone. laying in her bed in her clothes while calling her. thankfully jessie's parents didn't care if you slept over even when jessie wasn't there, they found the closeness between jessie and you cute. your parents didn't really care either. just telling you to come down the street for dinner before letting you go back to jessie's house; knowing just how much you are attached to the freckled girl.

when jessie came back to canada, you two spent nearly two days just stuck to eachother's side. jessie telling you all about what she saw and showing you all the pictures she took, for you.

the biggest hurdle of highschool was definitely when jessie made the decision to move to vancouver. nearing the middle of eleventh grade, she told you about the decision she's been pondering about ever since her first senior call-up. just thinking about the distance that would be between you two almost made her reconsider, but she realized she needed this if she wanted to further along her career. since tristan have been living in vancouver for a good few months now and training for the national team happened there, everything fell in place for jessie to go. her parents agreed once she explained why she wanted to go. now it was time to tell you.

the day she was planning to tell you, the atmosphere felt strange between you two like you knew something big was about to happen. jessie had dragged you to the park around the time of sunset, letting her mom know that nothing would happen and that two of you would be safe. she's barely swinging as she sits on the swing. her mind lost in thought about how to bring up her leaving.

however it wasn't jessie who started the conversation, but you. the young player had been acting strange all day and even the day before that, so you knew something was up. "what is it?" you ask softly, sitting on the swing next to her.

jessie bites her lips out of nervousness before saying, "i'm leaving for vancouver in a month and i'm sorry i didn't tell you, but i want to be a pro player so bad, i have to do this." her jumbled explanation makes you let out a soft laugh; jessie is intelligent, but always struggles to explain our thoughts. when her words sunk in you let out another soft laugh, this time out of disbelief. jessie's leaving..?

"what do you mean? like for a camp right? that's fine, i'll see you in a few weeks, it's fine," you look over at her. she refuses to meet your eyes and just looks down at her feet. "i mean like.. until college," she says. you fall silent, unsure on what to say. what could even be said? what were you supposed to do? beg for her to not go do something important for her career? you couldn't, so you just shut your mouth.

looking away from her to hide the tears starting to swell up in your eyes. jessie's fighting back tears of her own. jessie and you have shared practically every moment of your lives together since elementary, while away in vancouver, would she share moments with someone else? the thought makes your stomach turn.

jessie finally gets up and comes close to you. her hand moves to wipe away the tears on your face. you look up at her before standing up, grabbing onto her hand to interlock it with yours, using it to pull her close. you hide your face in her neck, still crying.

"we still can be bestfriends right?" you sob out. you don't even understand why you asked that question. of course you two can still be bestfriends, distance may make that harder but that doesn't make your bond any different. you don't get why jessie leaving feels like a piece of your heart is being cut out; why it's so painful. jessie obviously wasn't doing much better than you as she replies, "yeah. i would never let you go." you can hear the sadness in her voice.

it takes a few moments for you both to calm down. you are the first to pull away. looking at jessie to see how she was doing. the freckled girl has tear strains down her cheeks, but also a small smile on her lips. when you two's eyes meet she starts to giggle.

"you look like a mess," she pokes your cheek. you roll your eyes before saying, "you aren't much better." you playfully poke her cheek too. jessie acts like she's going to bite your finger, giggling when you pull it back.

"just don't go around making new bestfriends, okay?" you say. jessie nods before looking around you two. the sun has already set and the streetlights are now on.

"let's go before the buses stop running," she pulls you away from the swings, towards down the street where the bus stop is. you two stand side by side, holding hands, until the bus come.

you slept over her house that night. neither of you wanting to be away from eachother after something so emotional.

the next year and half don't go as badly as you imagined. you two find time to always call and even visit eachother when able. whenever the canadian national team had games close to london, you were always quick to go if jessie was on the roster (which she usually was). time flew past quickly. with you focusing the rest of your time on doing well in school, so you could be prepared for college admissions. you decided on going to an american college after jessie told you one day that she committed to ucla. when it came time to apply to colleges, you applied for around six. with your top pick being ucla.

all of your hard work was worth it as you got into ucla. opening up your acceptance email on facetime with jessie who was ecstatic and slightly sad because she couldn't be there to celebrate with you in person, but still you two would soon be together so it was alright.

that following fall when you arrived on the ucla campus, you found jessie right away. the now eighteen year old having decided on a spot for you two to meet on campus. you two found a way to be roommates. having a blast while trying to decorate the dorm with all the stuff you two bought along; already planning to go get some more later on in the month.

getting settled into college was a challenge for you. it was different from how canadian schools worked and the ucla campus was way bigger than the secondary school you, and once jessie at one point, attended. finding all of the classes you needed to find was stressful and the huge class sizes made you uncomfortable for a small moment before you got use to it. everything wasn't all bad. ucla has a beautiful campus with tons of fun things to do. you would join a club if your major wasn't having you run around campus nearly everyday or writing papers that would lead you into the depths of the night. all the free time you had was spent with jessie.

when soccer practice started, you were always in the stands at the practice grounds. snacking on some fruit while watching some netflix show, taking your attention off of your entertainment when jessie would call for you.

"you're here to pay attention to me! not watch some show," she would say from the bottom of the stands. you always roll your eyes, but would listen to her. looking at the team push a ball around, do suicides, and other exercises wasn't the most interesting but it was fun to watch jessie be in her element. she always moved so well across the field like the movements were programmed into her. it was absolute pure skill.

the entire soccer season you somehow found a way to come to every home game. wearing one of jessie's ucla jerseys that she left in y'all's dorm. she always smiles when she spots you in the stands, giving a quick wave if it was half time. you were like her lucky charm. she played the best when you were there; maybe because she wanted to impress you? not like that's something weird, you're her bestfriend. who wouldn't want to impress their bestfriend?

jessie was one of your only friends for the majority of the first semester and half of the second semester. your major kept you busy and jessie filled in all the empty spots left over. you had two other friends outside of the canadian. a spanish exchange student by the name of gabriela who you befriended after helping her find a book section in the library one day. after that, she was determined to be your friend and you weren't going to stop her. happily studying with her when you had time which meant when you weren't studying with jessie. the other girl you befriended was a law student by the name of eva. you two always somehow ran into eachother on the huge ucla campus, so at one point you just asked her for her instagram and the rest is history. she tries to make time to hangout with you, but law school takes up so much of her day that you two usually just text. occasionally waving when you saw eachother on campus, but that was it.

jessie was still your best friend and closest friend. living in the same space strengthened the bond between you two; it just felt natural to come back into the dorm and hug jessie after a long day or for jessie to demand cuddles after a grueling practice.

it wasn't until the middle of second semester that you branched out from jessie and your other two friends. there was this huge project in one of your classes that counted towards an exam grade that you could do alone or with a partner. with how much work would be needed to be put into the project and how little time you really had to focus on just one project for one class, you decided on the partner option; much to jessie's dismay.

when you told her about how you needed to find a partner in your class for the project, she had let out a sigh. leaning back on the pillows on her bed before looking at you. "so you're going to like bring someone here?" she questioned. the soccer player cringes at the thought of someone being in y'all's space. sitting on your bed or even on the floor was too much. it wasn't like it really bothered her, the canadian just doesn't like people in her space.

"we will probably work in the library or in their dorm. i feel like ours is always a mess," you shrugged. rolling your eyes when jessie let out a sigh of relief. it wasn't really one of relief as internally jessie didn't feel so good about you spending time in someone else's dorm; she didn't get why, but does it really matter? you always studied with her and did most projects with her. of course she wouldn't be used to you having to do one with someone else.

back then jessie just shrugged off her thoughts and changed the subject to talk about how her day went. not wanting to dwell too much on a topic that now made her cringe.

you found a partner the next day. the tall blonde, sasha, who always sat next to you in class. it only made sense to ask her since you were already familiar with her. the woman had quickly agreed, claiming she didn't want to do all of that work by herself.

the rest of the semester was spent doing the project in sasha's dorm most of the time. your time was quickly consumed by her; cutting into your time with jessie, annoying the both of you. not being able to spend all of your free time with jessie was messing with you. sasha was very sweet and bubbly. way louder than jessie was. being with sasha was always a fun experience, but at the end of it you were always thinking about when you could go home.

jessie wasn't liking your attention not being on her. who would listen to her non-fiction book rambles? or stay up to three am watching 2000s classics? who else would ever play soccer with her at the park closest to ucla? no one, well no one she wanted to do those activities with. those endless moments belong to jessie and you; no one else.

"i just don't get why you're always with her," jessie says over the phone. she's in your sweater and shorts while sitting on your bed. you were out late with sasha again to finish that project. jessie hates that project; it's the reason why you weren't in bed with her right now, cuddling.

you sigh, looking at sasha who was besides you before saying, "this project is taking up much more time than i thought. wish i was there with you, i miss my bed."

"just your bed?"

"you too. shush it, freckles." jessie laughs softly after hearing you drop her childhood nickname. your short conversation is cut short by sasha who told you to help her find some more research papers to use in the project. you give jessie a small apology before hanging up.

the canadian groans when you hang up. dropping her phone down on your sheets. she lays back and just thinks about what you could be doing right now if you were here with her. your body against hers as she holds you. talking about a bunch of nothing, but it was something when it came out of your mouth.

jessie misses you; that's one thing she knows for sure.

nearing the end of the semester when sasha and you were doing the finishing touches on the project, there was more free time for you both. you wanted to spend those few extra hours with jessie since you have been mostly seeing her in the mornings before she head off to the class and late at night when you would come back to the dorm, exhausted. you miss your bestfriend dearly. too bad for you, jessie was called up for a national team camp for two upcoming friendlies.

jessie was just as disappointed as you, clinging to your side the entire day before she was meant to leave for camp. good thing you had a rare day off. it felt like old times that day, just jessie and you. after she left, you started to hang out with sasha more just because she was someone you had the most access to. eva was drowning under exams while gabriela was living her best party girl life and you were all up for partying, but not nearly every night. that left sasha who would see almost everyday without a doubt. wanting to finish the project at least three days before the deadline, so it didn't feel you two were rushing things. with jessie gone, things got weirdly deep between sasha and you.

after finishing up the work needed for the day, sasha would ask you to stay with her for an extra hour or two. just to talk while eating. you always agreed since you didn't have nothing else to do and jessie unfortunately couldn't facetime much. you and sasha would go into deep conversations about whatever came to mind. it was fun just like anything else with sasha.

however one day the energy between the blonde and you felt different like she was holding something back. you weren't shocked when at the last session of working on the project, she stopped you from leaving after two hours of talking. what you didn't expect was what came out of her mouth,

"i really like you, y/n. would you like to go on a date with me? maybe this weekend" she asks, her hand holding onto your wrist. you stay silent for a few moments before saying, "sure."

when you got back to your dorm, you didn't even understand why you said yes. it wasn't like you were particularly interested in sasha. she was great, fun, bubbly, even quite smart, she was sasha. in your mind she wasn't super attractive. not as magnetic as a certain freckles canadian in your life, but that was an unfair comparison since no one could compare to jessie in your world.

you thought to yourself that a date with sasha wouldn't be so bad. having a casual college romance wouldn't be so bad; you want to experience college love too. while you were stuck in your thoughts, your phone vibrated. you pick it up to see jessie's contact on your screen, immediately answering the call.

she's laying on her hotel bed with her face squished against the pillow. it's dark in the room with the only light being the light from the phone screen shining on her freckled face. jessie smiles when your camera shows you. "hey.." she says, sounding almost half asleep.

"hey freckles. how was training?" you ask softly. getting comfortable on your bed.

"it was alright, but uh.." jessie licks her lips before saying, "i was wondering if you were going to come to the game this weekend. it's in san diego, you know, against the usa and if you were going to drive or fly down." you let out a soft gasp of surprise as you realized you forgot; jessie asked you to come at least one of the friendlies happening between the the north american rivals earlier that week. you have even put the date down in your calendar for the san diego one. the swamp of your usual college work and that huge project must have burned that little date from your brain.

"god, jess. i was planning to but.. sasha asked me out today and said she wanted to go on a date this weekend.." before you can finish explaining, jessie is furrowing her eyebrows at your words.

there is badly hidden irritation in jessie's voice as she says,"sasha asked you what?"

author notes: okay, i lied! this will actually be a series, ending it off on a cliffhanger for right now 💔 i didn't proof read this so don't care about any grammatical or spelling errors, thanks!

#jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming #woso x reader #woso fanfics

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vxntagedior · 2 years ago

Note

can i request a poly!marauders x reader fic where they hurt her feelings or fuck up somehow and she’s SUPER stubborn and they have to grovel a shit ton to get her forgiveness and then they have makeup sex? i’m just not the immediate forgiver type and want to read something that reflects that lmao

forgive us?

summary | you're stubborn and they want to make it up to you

pairing | poly!marauders x fem!reader

warning | 18+ minors dni, smut [makeup sex, dom!reader, sub!james, remus & sirius, f oral, p in v, slight mommy kink, creampie, cum eating]

word count | 1.3k

From a young age you always thought that everyone had one chance, because in the real world there were no second chances.

The boys knew that from the moment they met you, and promised that they would always have your trust.

Wrong.

“How many times do we have to say sorry?” Sirius pleaded following you around the library, you hadn’t talked to them in days and each tried to get a word out of you but you were sticking your ground and keeping your mouth shut.

Your steps halted as you came across the book you were looking for, your hand pulling Sirius’s eyes from you. Following the direction of your hand, seeing your book you needed was on a higher shelf, Sirius complied, grabbing the book for you.

He was stunned when you pressed a kiss on his cheek before wandering off, fast enough so he wouldn’t follow you.

It was a step in the right direction right?

James was panicking, they didn’t mean to miss the date you planned for them and now they were paying the price for it.

Hogsmeade was beautiful during the winter, the villagers hanging up lights on their stores, the snow constantly falling from the sky, having it be the perfect weather for butterbeers.

It was the last Hogsmeade trip before Yule break and you wanted to see all of them before going home.

You met them early that morning, making sure to meet you at Three Broomsticks at noon, each boy giving you their word before you left. It was around 11:50 when you arrived. You always liked to be early, getting a table that was facing the village but also under the heat so none of you would be shivering.

Hearing the clock struck 12, you still gave them a little leeway, knowing they were usually a couple minutes late to everything, but eventually it was 12:15, 12:30 now 1:30 and they weren’t there.

Madam Rosmata was kind enough to give you your butterbeer in the house, and gave you a lecture about how you shouldn’t wait for no man.

The walk back to Hogwarts was cold, the castle was empty, only a few stragglers, ones who didn't go to Hogsmeade or came back early.

Gryffindor’s common room was quiet when you entered. Taking a few more steps farther in, you heard a bang from above your head, looking up to see the bucket falling down to you.

You scream feeling the slime cover, before hearing the sounds of cheering.

“We got you!”

James was the first to come out, his happy face slowly turning into horor. “Oh, merlin!”

“You look beautiful today.” James whispered to you during class, you ignored him continuing to listen to Slughorn go over the potion you were about to make.

“Did you do something with your hair?” He tried again, twirling one the ends.

“Mr. Potter!” James straightened up, turning his attention back to Professor Slughorn, “would you like to tell me what is in an antidote to Veritaserum?”

“I-uh…” James fumbled on his words.

“10 points from Gryffindor.”

Remus had been avoiding you like the plague, if he saw you coming down the corridor, he’d walked the other way. He didn’t want to admit it, but Remus was scared of you when you got mad.

You wouldn’t talk to them yet you would continue on like nothing happened.

He felt stiff sitting next to you in the common room, you four of you were working on your own set of assignments, you and Remus on the couch, James on the chair with Sirius leaning his body against it.

“Is there any way for you to forgive us?” Remus whispered to you, “We’ll do anything for your love.”

That sentence sparked a lightbulb in your head, you smirked to yourself before turning to look at him.

“Anything?” You asked.

It was the first time you spoke to them since you came back from break, Sirius and James snapping their heads up to look at you.

“C’mon.” You grabbed Remus’s hand, pulling him towards their room, James and Sirius following obediently behind you. They all stood in the center of the room waiting for you to make the next move.

Their eyes were attached to your body as you started to undress, taking off every piece of your uniform before you were left in your bra and panties.

Sirius gulped loudly when you sat on his bed, slowly spreading your legs, letting them see the wet patch on your panties.

“C’mere Jamie.” You becockened, James scrambled towards you, sitting on his knees between your legs. “Such a good boy, go ahead baby.”

James moved your panties to the side, exposing your glistening cunt to him, his lips kissing along your inner thighs before coming to your clit giving it a light kiss. You groaned, gripping his hair, pulling him up to look at you.

“I didn't say tease me, did I?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, mommy, I’m sorry.” James dipped his head in embarrassment.

Remus and Sirius stood and watched as James dipped in his head back between your thighs, licking up your arousal, making sure he didn’t miss anything. Sirius tried to hide the boner in his pants, cupping the tent of his pants.

“You two.” You nodded, each boy came to your side. You gripped Sirius’s chin, “You gotta make it up to me baby.”

Neither of them said anything more, Sirius diving right to your neck, latching his lips around your skin, kissing the column on your neck. Remus pulled down the straps of your bra, seeing your perked nipples, pinching them before wrapping his lips around one.

You moaned at the feeling of their mouths all over your body, collapsing onto the pillows, sitting up on your elbows to look.

James’s lips continued to suck on your clit, as he pushed in another finger, starting to scissor the two.

“I’m gonna cum, Jamie.” Those words were like magic to his eyes, continuing to lap up your clit along with picking up speed, feeling your clit start to twitch in his mouth.

“Oh fuck!” You cried, Sirius pulled away from your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, swallowing your moans, letting his tongue meet yours.

“Wanna fuck you.” James pleaded. “Please mommy.”

“I don’t know baby, you have to share with the other boys.” You smirked. Remus was more than eager to volunteer, coming up to the bed, pulling you into his lap while trying to push down his pants.

James came up next to you and Remus, giving you a light kiss, before eyeing your tits.

Sirius sat below you, sucking Remus while he waited. “You gonna put it in for me babe?” He nodded at your words, lining Remus towards your entrance, watching you sink down.

“Fuck.” You leaned back, lifting your hips before slamming them back down on his cock, “Your cock feels so good Rem.”

The praise went straight to his cock, Remus trying to control himself to not cum so fast. His hands were on your tits, massaging them, slowing down your waist, when James started to kiss down your chest.

Sirius continued to lick between Remus’s balls and your ass, feeling the weight of your ass press his forehead everytime you came down.

With all the stimulation they gave you, you couldn’t hold it anymore, coming undone on Remus.

“Cum with me.” You whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss to the clear to his ear. “Fill me up!”

He was practically growling, his hands gripping on your waist, feeling you squeeze around him gave him that final push to cum. Sirius wasted no time, to lick up all the cum that leaked out of you, before continuing to eat you out.

Your body was pressed against Remus, smoothing out the hair on James’s head. He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“I forgive you guys.” You hummed, “Who couldn’t after that.”

fin.

#poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x fem!reader #poly!marauders x girlfriend!reader #marauders x reader #james potter x reader #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x girlfriend!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x girlfriend!reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x girlfriend!reader #poly!marauders

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yaemona · 3 years ago

Text

modern ! childe headcanons

contents both sfw and nsfw, childe x f ! reader, mentions of semi-public sex/car sex, mentions of alcohol, cunnilingus, this is very stream of consciousness

a.n just a little something whilst i figure out what fic i wanna work on next. i have a ton of these for him specifically, it’s kinda crack and jokes but like also. . . i’m right. anyway ppl seem to like my modern takes so i thought i would share this. i hope it gives u a good laugh at the very least

minors and ageless blogs do not interact.

sfw

i’ll get this out of the way: he plays league of legends. you know he does. you can’t tell me i’m wrong.

we are off to a rocky start

he’s sporadic in nature, the way he takes care of himself follows that pattern

he works out pretty regularly, often going out on jogs at the asscrack of dawn before going to his classes. he manages a 3.5 ish range gpa but like

he puts a bunch of things off til very last minute and then suddenly he has 5 assignments due, two of which are papers and he is surviving off the raw adrenaline of having a deadline to meet

during finals there is not a single light on behind those eyes and u fear for his sanity

does he sleep? you genuinely do not know.

his thirst for the thrill of battle is translated directly as a thirst to play league for 15hrs straight and not leave his room

ah speaking of classes, his major is drumroll please

🥁🥁🥁

oceanography !

hear me out, this is more than just a clever incorporation of his fucking narwhal summons kind of

he visited an aquarium once as a young lad and his eyes lit up so bright and he had the biggest smile on his face

he just about lost his shit at the moon jelly tank

and in the tube you walk through where the fish and creatures are swimming above and all around you, god he felt like he was in some sort of fairytale

he takes his younger siblings to the aquarium nowadays either when he goes home for holidays or when they come to visit

i just realized the ocean is kinda like. . . a deep dark abyss. well. there you have it folks at least he didn’t fall into it ig

anywayyy he also very much does love fishing. he has tried to drag scara out on multiple occasions. scara refuses. thoma was keen though !

yes, modern ! thoma and childe are fishing buddies

there’s no good place to slot this in but he’s allergic to peanuts. idk he just is. i have nothing more to say on this matter. shrimp is on thin fucking ice but it doesn’t send him into anaphylactic shock so he is swallowing a bucket of bubba gump’s popcorn shrimp as we speak

percy jackson phase as a kid. has a lot of compartmentalized information about greek mythology now. he still finds it interesting and if it fits into a conversation he’s willing to go on about it for quite awhile

it is currently 10pm. your phone rings. it is childe. he’s 5 minutes away from your house, are you agreeing to going out to get slushees?

yes, of course you are!

cherry slushee with nerds is his go to

the friend who is always down for literally anything, and always invites you along to do whatever it is

no money? no problem, he’s paying for you. don’t try to fight him on it you’re not going to win he’s persistent

love language is gift giving

that really specific thing you mentioned wanting? he remembers. staring at an item in a store that you really do want, contemplating extra hard before ultimately setting it down? he’s buying it for you. he sees something while he’s out and about or perusing online that reminds him of you? he doesn’t even hesitate.

one item in particular he got you for one of your birthdays is a necklace

it’s a dainty little thing, you mutter something about being afraid to break it. he laughs.

“trust me, you won’t. they’re good quality. here, let me put it on you.”

childe can be quite clumsy at times, but his movements then were so careful and gentle as he clasped the necklace

it’s a lightweight chain adorned with a sand dollar pendant, it even came with a cheesy little message card

“you are bright, beautiful and one of a kind. the odds of knowing someone like you are one in a million. . . lucky me! wear your necklace as a reminder that i love you.”

and you do wear it, very often. the memory and the gift itself always put a smile on your face.

and he still gets giddy every time he sees it around your neck

anyway now i’ll remind you he plays league of legends and we’ll get back to that

he also plays valorant, that one is more so for fun and he’s constantly fucking around

he facetimes you often and sometimes he just has his phone propped up against something on his desk facing him while he’s queuing in valorant with friends

“who does he play val with?” im so glad you asked.

venti, itto, and hu tao.

respective agents they main: jett, brimstone/raze, and reyna

childe mains omen. just feel like he would.

venti is a mutual friend childe actually met through you

but the other two are online friends childe met in solo queues, and they exchanged discords after they just kinda hit it off

after a few times childe had you on facetime they complained enough to the point where childe just gave you the disc invite and added you to the call

and honestly. . . listening to the four of them is the funniest shit you’ve ever heard.

pity the poor soul who is solo queuing and ends up with them

childe has been known on multiple occasions to jokingly flirt with whoever it is

it’s even funnier when they flirt back or instigate it in the first place. you can’t hear the person obviously, but boy oh boy are the screams of the other three in both amusement and horror utterly hilarious

childe and venti are screaming at each other about how the other needs to stop sucking so back

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME THAT WAS ONE FUCKING ROUND IM LITERALLY TOP FRAGGING FUCK YOU!”

venti does it because of the amount of joy it brings him to piss childe off ( there’s a reason they don’t play league together anymore )

hu tao is giggling up a storm and itto’s trying to hold a conversation with you about your day as you’re crying from laughter

if i don’t move on from gamer ! childe now, i don’t think i ever will

childe is. . . a reckless menace. you think whoever granted him his driver’s license should probably be fired yet he’s never gotten a ticket

he’s safer when you’re in the car but he’s still playing speed racer. if you’re really frightened then he will drive the actual speed limit and be more cautious.

surprise! he can be a good driver

that’s nice hon but what about your safety

early morning trips to breakfast diners in your pajamas, most often after all nighters pulled or particularly sleepless nights

sleepovers that involve you two in the kitchen baking brownies at 3am and you two dance around while they’re in the oven

he’d try to jump on your back and have you give him piggy back rides, and damn near knocks you over with the sheer force he runs at you with alone

his spotify playlists are a mess he listens to literally everything

toxic by britney spears or kiss me thru the phone comes on through the aux in the car and he is giving a full performance

oh yeah speaking of which, i think he’d genuinely enjoy karaoke

he doesn’t take it too seriously, he’s there for the laughs and the food/drinks

extroverts will be extroverts

pleads at you with puppy dog eyes to sing breaking free from hsm

just give in, the smile on his face would be so worth it

nsfw

horny. like. always.

it does not take much to get him worked up and when he does he makes it ur problem too

he just skips past subtle cues, god forbid when you’re out in public

face buried in the crook of your neck, leaving hickies while you two are sitting in a corner; hand resting very high up on your thigh under the table, fingers dangerously close to brushing up against you

y’all have left some gatherings and gone home early

he has gotten quite . . .impatient a handful of times which has led to him fucking you in a few bathrooms and once in the car but like here’s the thing

childe is tall he’s got spindly limbs and the backseat of a car isn’t very spacious

so it was very clumsy and the two of you were doing a lot of giggling the entire time he still fucked ur brains out though

before you were in a relationship, y’all started out as fwb

he invited a few friends ( you included ) over for a small get together. drinking, games, what have you

childe, when drunk, is very touchy. and he already found you quite attractive while sober. put two and two together and welllll

you end up in a very heated makeout session after he’s dragged you to his room

friends passed out in the living room so you try not to make too much noise

you get very dirty looks from them the next morning

childe brought up the proposition of fwb and to be frank it was the best sex you’d ever had so you were keen

that went on for a couple of months

then, one morning, you woke up in his bed alone to the smell of pancakes?? waffles?? dunno but it smelled so fucking good

you get up, pull his shirt he’d been wearing the previous night over your head and walk out to see what’s up

god looking back on it now it seems like a scene out of a very cheesy romcom

the kitchen counter is a bit of a mess, but an organized one

and childe’s standing at the stove with the sleeves of the hoodie he’s wearing rolled up and in his boxers flipping a pancake over

sunlight is creeping in through the window and lights up the room in such a delicate way. . . and you feel a flutter in your chest

he notices you staring and flashes you a bashful smile it’s . . .different from how you’re used to seeing him, but it still feels like him

“ah, good morning! i wasn’t sure what you liked but . . .there’s some eggs and bacon, and a few pancakes already done, so go ahead and help yourself girlie.”

his freckled cheeks are flushed with the brightest pink, ginger hair unkempt from sleep and last night’s escapades

you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, planting a kiss against his shoulder blade

“morning,” you yawn.

he could get used to this.

you perch yourself on one of the empty countertops and watch as he finishes up, talking while he rinses the dishes in the sink, and come to the decision that the two of you want to try something more than your current relationship

and that’s that

yes he did eat you out on the kitchen counter afterwards what do you expect seeing you in just his shirt drove him crazy

#genshin childe #childe x reader #childe headcanons #childe imagines #childe smut #genshin smut #genshin headcanons #childe x reader smut

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gojosoath · 3 years ago

Text

the world underneath your skin — toji fic

MINORS DON'T INTERACT // 18+ ONLY!

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem!reader (uses she/her pronouns)

tags: romance x ANGST x like a SHIT TON OF ANGST x AU (no sorcerer stuff in this au) x action

Table of Contents taglist: @sakinotfound ;

a/n: please, please read the warnings for this story because it does have a lot of sensitive topics like I mentioned. i'm gonna see what the reaction is to this fic because im not so confident in it?? i just don't know if people will enjoy it, what can i say, i need validation. i'll post this on my ao3 too and comment on this post if you wanna be on my taglist! also i know there's not confirmation regarding toji's height, like some have even said the dude's 5'4?? i get 6 ft vibes from him cuz he's a dilf so we're gonna go with that. anyways, enjoy :)

Part 1: Those Few Silent Seconds Are Everything (wc: 5k)

Toji’s shoulder ached as he finished shooting the target which was assigned for him tonight. The target fell to the ground after being shot on the side of the head. He fell to the ground like a doll, making Toji’s mind stop for a moment and think to himself; did he shoot a human being?

There was no time to think, only move, and Toji moved swiftly and quietly. He exited out through the window of the target’s house. Toji hopped from the windowsill to the thick tree that was nearby, his hands gripping the branch where he landed on the ground, rolling and coming to a stop with his feet digging into the grass. Toji then jogged up to the gate, climbed over it, and landed on his feet where his co-worker, Shiu, was still waiting for him in the car. Toji got into the car and without a word, Shiu drove off yet again another completed task.

Toji immediately reached for the pack of cigarettes he had sitting in the pocket of his black blazer. He took them out, sticking a cigarette into his lips where it dangled as he searched for his lighter.

Shiu reached over and held out a lighter for Toji, “Thanks,” Toji mumbled, the light of red and orange illuminating Toji’s lips. The light went off and was followed by gray smoke to enclose around Toji’s face as he exhaled out through his nose.

“Was he difficult?” Shiu asked as his thumb messed with the dials, switching between radio stations.

Toji cracked open the passenger window where he flicked the ashes of his cigarette out of it, “Nah,” He said, “he was oblivious as fuck.”

“Want me to drop you off back at your place?”

“Drop me off at the usual,” Toji says to Shiu. Another sharp pain stabs Toji’s shoulder, his hand going over it and massaging it to the best ability he could.

Shiu notices, “That shoulder is still hurting you?”

Toji shrugs it off and inhales his cigarette, “It’s fine.”

Shiu settles on a radio station that’s playing what sounds like a commercial pop song, “I still think you should see that massage therapist I told you about. Her hands feel like they’re healing you. She might be a witch or something…” His voice trails off.

Toji rolls his eyes at the window as he stares up at the night sky, the moon becoming veiled with his smoke. The radio pop station filled in the silence for them and even though Toji wasn’t crazy over the songs playing, he was happy that he didn’t need to make many conversations with Shiu. Toji found himself relaxing when Shiu drove up to the bar which Toji came to after every mission. Toji opened the passenger door, flicked the cigarette to the floor, and stepped on it.

Before Toji closed the door, he leaned down with his hands in his pockets, “Tell the boss the mission was a success. Everything went smoothly.” Shiu nodded his head and gave Toji a small wave. Toji closed the door and Shiu drove off. Toji walked across the street opposite the bar and to where the river was. Toji took out the gun he had used to kill the designated shooter and threw it into the river. Toji stood there for a moment and overlooked the city view that the bar had, the city lights reflecting in the river. Toji stretched with his fingers clasped over his head and sticking out his chest. He felt like for the first time that day he could breathe.

Toji went into the bar, and took his spot in his usual chair; the one closest to the front door. When he sat down, the bartender wordlessly set down his usual drink which Toji would get. Toji slid cash across the table which the bartender took and slipped into his pocket. The bar had a couple of people, pretty empty for a Monday night. After a few hours passed and Toji had several empty glasses by him, his blazer was off, resting beside him on the empty chair. He had the sleeves of his black button-up rolled to his elbows. He rested his chin on top of his arm while with his other hand holding the already empty glass. His cheek was flushed red, green eyes shining underneath the dim lighting of the bar. At this point, everyone in the bar was gone. He was always the last one to leave.

“I had a wife…” Toji slurs at the bartender as he wipes at glasses, organizing them on the shelf. “And a kid,” Toji hiccups, “I loved my wife and kid…both good people.”

The bartender set another glass at Toji, but this one was water with ice in it. Toji continued to stare at his empty glass, “I was s’stupid, I was…” He recalled, “miss them s’much.”

The bartender listened in silence as Toji continued to ramble about his past. Under the dim lights, tears slipped down Toji’s cheeks, tasting them as they made it to the corners of his mouth. Toji was thankful that alcohol was there for him to give him something that felt close to a hug.

┅

3 hours earlier

As Y/N was getting ready to close up their clinic, the phone rang on the front desk. Y/N picked it up and said her professional greeting. Over the phone, Shiu’s voice came through;

“Hey, Miss L/N, it’s Shiu.”

“Oh!” Y/N exclaimed, “You calling to set up an appointment?”

“Yes,” Shiu said, “but not for me, it’s for one of my friends.”

“Sure,” Y/N moved the mouse and the desktop screen flashed to life where they pulled up the calendar. “What’s going to work best for them? Mornings? Afternoons?”

“How late are you open until again?”

“On Monday’s and Friday’s, I’m open the latest, until eight in the night,” You told him.

“Let’s do Friday at seven for this week, do you have any availability then?”

You pulled up Friday on your screen, “Yes, I do! Are you sure it’s okay that it’s tomorrow? Is it too soon for them?” You inquired.

“Oh no! Not at all!” Shiu beamed through the phone.

“What’s the patient’s name?”

“Toji Fushiguro. He needs a full-body massage session, I work with him a lot. He’s got a lot of pain all over.”

You typed out his name in the slot, along with a brief note about Shiu’s description regarding the patient’s issues. Shiu also gave you Toji’s number and you confirmed with Shiu that you had Toji scheduled for this Friday. After the phone call, you went and locked the front door of your clinic and went back to the front desk where you made sure everything was in its place for you to get ready to leave.

You turned off the lights, bag, and car keys in your hand and drove to your apartment. You were greeted with your cat when you first stepped into your place, kneeling to scratch behind Willow’s ears. You poured Willow's food into her bowl and then headed into your bathroom where you began to wash your face. After finishing, you turned on the water to your shower to let the water run before heading in. You took off your clothes and stood there, arms over the sink, getting lost in all the scars you’ve imprinted over your skin for many years. Every time you looked at your scars, you only wanted to create more. It never seemed to end, there were never enough scars.

Your hands had a mind of their own, you watched as your hands opened up the drawer that held those precious razors of yours. You could already feel yourself floating up somewhere to the bathroom ceiling, watching your body move. You watched your body operate, your hands opening up the pouch and taking out something that glinted underneath the bathroom lights. You felt yourself come back to life when you felt that first burning of the sharp end cutting into your skin. You were hunched over the bathroom sink, breathing heavily from just one cut. Everything muffled around you, all the pain, the worries, the memories just…gone. This feeling always only lasts for a few seconds, but those few seconds were everything to you. Those few seconds of complete silence were what kept you alive.

After showering and brushing your teeth, you got into bed where Willow was already sitting next to the spot of your bed that was too big for you. You got settled underneath the covers and cuddled next to Willow where you confessed to her in a whisper;

“Sorry, Willow…I relapsed.”

┅

Toji woke up on his kitchen floor, his cheek pressed against the cold tiles. When he first opened up his eyes, he thought the world was upside down. There’s something in one of his hands, it’s tangled up with his fingers. His entire body aches; head pounding, shoulder hurt, and back sore. He had to mentally prepare himself to do something as simple as sitting himself up. A moan got trapped in his throat as he used the strength in his arms to sit himself up. Now the world was spinning over, stars dancing in front of his vision mockingly. He finally managed to sit up, having to lean his weight onto the cabinet underneath his sink. He looked down at his hands and saw what was tainting his grasp; his keys.

Suddenly, Toji’s body was injected with adrenaline, standing up in a heartbeat, and running to the door. His hand went to the doorknob and when he saw the door was locked, he heaved out a sigh of relief. He slid down the door, sitting down with a thump and head dropping down. So he had managed to somehow lock the door after stumbling back to his place after getting embarrassingly drunk. Not even alcohol could numb out his paranormal habits.

From where Toji sat, he had a full view of the city across the room; his living room was adorned with ceiling to flooring windows. The sky was drooping with gray clouds, it looked like it would rain. Toji — being the big man he was, crawling across the floor, he had a bigger headache than when he first woke up. He crawled to where he had thrown his blazer by his couch. Once he got there, he searched his pockets, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and then his phone.

Today was his day off, and Toji knew the way he would spend it. It was a Friday and Toji wanted to get drunk…again. He stuck a cigarette into the corner of his lips and unlocked his phone, seeing he had several text messages from Shiu;

Shiu: Hey! I scheduled you for an appointment with that great massage therapist I was telling you about! It’s on Friday at 7 PM! I’ll send you the link to the clinic address!

Shiu: And no, you can’t cancel the appointment. You owe me one.

Toji clenched his jaw, his hand gripping his phone until he felt his vision go blurry. The cigarette fell from his lips and into his lap. He didn’t want to go to some stupid massage therapist where they’d probably only make him feel worse. He didn’t want to waste one of his days off going to some stupid clinic that would probably overcharge him for some stupid, hipster healing shit. Toji almost felt like he would cry, a lump forming in his throat. He brought his knees up to his chest, dropping the phone to the floor and the heel of his hands digging into his eyes. He wanted to get drunk some more, he wanted to get drunk until any memories of his life he had experienced up until this point got completely erased from his brain. He wanted to get drunk until he didn’t recognize himself or until he would one night, stumble across the street and be hit by a car. He didn’t want to remember his wife or son anymore. He didn’t want to remember all the people he had killed in exchange for a paycheck. He didn’t want to remember that he was living every day he woke up. He didn’t want to remember…

┅

Toji completely sobered up by the time it was in the afternoon, sitting on his couch across from his flat screen television that was hung up on the wall. He sat at the edge of the couch, legs spread with a bowl of cereal in his hands. The television was airing news about how the political leader he had shot last night was found dead early this morning. He couldn’t stand anymore hearing about it, so he switched the channel where a re-run of a spy-action movie was playing.

If Toji wasn’t so pissed off at the moment, he would laugh at the lousy punch one of the guys threw at the protagonist. Toji munched on his cereal, thinking about how if someone told him he’d live in a luxurious apartment the way he does, he would never believe them. Thanks to his unusual occupation, he was given a salary he desperately wished for in his youth.

Toji spent the rest of his day trying to keep himself occupied; he vacuumed, washed the dishes that had been sitting in his sink for a few days, and dusted his shelves. He even went through his products in the bathroom and threw out ones that he hadn’t used for a long time or simply didn’t want anymore. Toji took a nap, woke up, and made himself some dinner. Toji showered, and he shaved his stubble. By the time he got out of the shower, he saw that he needed to head out soon to get to this damned appointment. He wore a plain, long black-sleeved shirt along with black jeans and boots.

As Toji heads out of his apartment, he makes sure to draw the curtains over his living room windows. He heads out, wanting to get this appointment over with as fast as possible so he can get to his night off.

┅

You’re setting up the bed for your next patient that should be arriving anytime soon. You make sure that everything is prepared correctly; the air diffuser, oils, and extra sheets. You step out of the single room and to the small entrance area that has two chairs with a small coffee table between them. There are magazines stacked on the coffee table. You go behind your desk and clean up the papers spread across the desk. You kneel to sort out the papers underneath your desk.

The bell above the clinic door rings as Toji steps inside. He is greeted with an empty desk and the air smelling like lavender. The aroma is a new sense for him; he’s so used to being around sharp smells like alcohol, tobacco, and…blood. It made Toji’s skin almost form goosebumps from being surrounded by such a tranquil atmosphere? Suddenly, you appeared from underneath the desk, making Toji slightly jump. You had been there all along?

“Oh!” You exclaimed, “I didn’t even hear you! I’m so sorry — Toji Fushiguro, right?”

Toji took in your appearance, he eyed you which came off that he was checking you out but this was simply a habit of Toji (thanks to his whole life consisting of his profession). You felt yourself getting uncomfortable by his intense stare. If intimidation had a body form, it would look exactly like him. You noticed immediately the tension in his body just from his posture alone. The black long sleeve shirt he wore hugged his muscles, you could already tell which places in his body needed to be massaged through the tightness. Shiu had mentioned to you about his friend that he was a bit…frigid. He was on the older side, you guessed possibly late thirties, early forties? He had black raven hair that fell over his face, flopping over his ears.

You grabbed the clipboard with the paperwork along with a pen, “Here, you can sit down,” You gestured with your hand towards the room where the patient was taken for their session.

Toji gave you a curt nod and followed your greeting by walking into the room. His hands were in his front pockets. When he passed by you, that’s when you noticed it; he had a scar. A scar that ran at the corner of his lips and over it. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin…was this guy safe? He kind of scared the shit out of you. You made a mental note that you’d leave the door open…just in case.

Toji didn’t sit down, he awkwardly stood by the door that you almost ran into him when you stepped inside. You were quick to dodge it by stepping to the side. He was tall, really tall. You scanned him yourself with your eyes and made a guess; six feet.

“Okay,” You handed him the clipboard with the paperwork and he grabbed it, giving it a speculating look. “I just need you to take a couple of minutes to fill out the paperwork. It’s just basic information, some background about your health, daily routines, habits.”

It was then when you realized Toji hadn’t said a single word to you, there was a moment of awkward silence. You had patients in the past who were socially awkward but this guy just seemed straight up like he didn’t want to be here. He looked at you and you flashed him a smile, handing him the pen in your hands.

“Let me know if you have any questions,” You tell him, “I’ll check back in on you in five minutes,” you’re already moving towards the lobby and you close the door on your way out. When you’re finally out of his presence, you let out a sigh of relief.

What a weirdo…an intimidating weirdo, you think to yourself. You go over to the front desk and begin going through some emails you still need to respond to. After a couple of minutes, there’s knocking coming from the patient room. The door opens a second later and Toji stands there, clipboard in one hand.

He finally speaks to you for the first time, “All done,” He simply states.

You go over to him, taking the clipboard from his hands, “Thank you,” You quickly scan the paperwork, walking over to your chair and Toji continues to stand there. You take a seat in your chair and say, “You can sit down, Mr. Fushiguro.”

Toji listens and takes a seat, you observe the way he moves, even the way he sits. Everything about him is so…stiff. You can see why Shiu made an appointment for him. You begin going through what he had checked off in the form you gave to every new patient.

“Okay…” Your voice trailed off, gathering your thoughts as you processed his feedback, “what is your main concern, Mr. Fushiguro?”

Toji reaches up with his hand and sets it on his shoulder, “I’ve had pain here for a couple of months now. No matter what I seem to do…it’s always sore.”

“Do you have a job where you are lifting a lot of heavy weight?”

“No, I work an office desk job,” He tells you.

You nod your head and scribble a quick note of that on his paper form, “Have you had any recent injuries?”

Toji says, “No.”

“Okay,” You set down the clipboard on the table next to you and stand up, “I’ll step out of the room so that you can take off your top and lay on the table.” You pick up one of the sheets that are folded on the table, holding it up, “You can set this over yourself,” You step out of the room and while you give him some time to take his top off, you go ahead and turn on your electric kettle to make yourself some tea. Once the water boiled, you poured yourself a cup and let it sit to cool down on the front desk — there wouldn’t be any more patients coming in for the day.

Before you entered back into the patient room, you gave a few knocks, “Can I come in?” You heard Toji say it was good to come in and you did so. Once you walked in, Toji was laying down on the table face down, you noticed he hadn’t even bothered with the white sheet; his bare back was completely exposed to you.

You stopped dead in your tracks when you noticed it; all the scars running down his back, his arms. They looked like old scars, deep scars, caused by sharp objects. Your hands started to shake, could it be…that he also…? Like��you?

You inhaled shakily and snapped out of it, making your way next to Toji. Your eyes scanned over his tanned back, it was adorned with scars. You brought your hands to the shoulder he had mentioned gave him pain. Your touch was delicate, your fingertips brushing against his shoulder pad, making him slightly flinch.

“Sorry, did that hurt?” You asked with alarm, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to — “

“No, it didn’t hurt,” Toji grumbled, “I’m fine.”

“Let me know if anytime you’re uncomfortable,” You assure him, placing your hands back onto his shoulder, wanting to get a feel for it at first. His shoulder felt tight and strained against your touch, you applied slight pressure, “Is it mainly here?”

“Yes,” Toji strained.

You released the pressure, “Okay, I’m going to begin, are you okay with some oils?”

“Sure,” Toji says.

You lathered some oil onto your palms and began your work; you massaged upward with your palm while the other slightly squeezed at the muscles around his neck. You couldn’t stand the awkward silence for some reason, so you decided to do small talk;

“So, how long have you been working at your office job?” You could tell that his body was reacting by stiffening itself as your hands worked on his skin. You wanted to tell him to relax, to calm his senses.

“Ten years,” Toji answers curtly.

You nod your head, “I see. Do you like your job?”

Toji retorts with, “Do you like yours?”

“I love my job,” You remark, “I enjoy working with all my patients,” you feel Toji slightly relax underneath your massaging. You continue chatting, “Straight from high school I registered for a massage therapy program, and well, here I am.” You kneaded the tight spot on his shoulder, earning a satisfied but small groan from Toji.

“Right there,” He says, “hurts the most there.”

“I can feel it,” You comment, continuing to rub at it, “what do you like to do for fun, Mr. Fushiguro?”

You hear Toji sigh a little, “Watch some television.”

“Oh really? Which show is your favorite?”

“Well, it’s not a show but a movie,” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“What’s that?”

“Fifty Shades of Gray.”

You roll your eyes, “I can’t help but feel like you’re saying that to get a reaction out of me.”

Not only does he feel more relaxed, but even his tone does as well, “I thought a lot of women liked that movie.”

You snort, “I think you haven’t interacted with that many women then, Mr. Fushiguro.”

“Is that so?” Toji plays along, “Well, my apologies.”

“You don’t sound so sincere,” You deride, and then purposely press a little bit too hard on his shoulder, earning a hiss from him. “Sorry,” You say, “did that hurt?”

Toji grunts, “Yeah…”

You apologize again and continue to knead at his skin, your palms getting a feel of his scars. Your hands move to other parts of his body, moving to his lower back. You explain to Toji as you work out what you’re focusing on, telling him how his muscles down by his lower back feel they need attention as well. Toji hums in return as you work at the tightness in his lower back. The scars are down there, too. His skin is rough overall, the more you work on his muscles, the more you confirm that Toji lied about his occupation. How could someone who works a desk job have such a body like this? He works out, despite his muscles being tight, they’re defined and toned.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been working in silence until Toji disrupts you, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three,” You tell him, “and you?”

“Forty-three…you seem young to be owning a clinic at your age.”

“This clinic used to be my mom’s,” You tell him, “I took over once she…” your voice trails off and you instead say, “she became too old to handle the clinic.”

You’re by Toji’s upper arms now, his biceps are huge. Despite his age, you can’t deny that he’s handsome. Both of your hands can’t even fully wrap around his biceps. You finish off the massage by rubbing circles with your thumbs starting from the bottom of his neck and down to his waist.

“Okay,” You grab a cloth set on the table and wipe the oils off your hands, “I’ll give you a couple of moments to get dressed. I’ll be out in the front with your pricing.” You exit the room and calculate his session on the computer. Toji comes out with his long sleeve back on, coming to the opposite side of the desk, taking out his wallet. You told Toji the total and he took out his card, handing it to you. You grabbed the card with your eyes still on the computer screen and didn’t notice that your hand completely knocked into your cup of tea. The tea spilled over your arm, making you flinch from how hot it still was.

“Shit!” You dropped the card. Toji’s reflexes were fast, avoiding the mug to fall completely over by catching it with his hand while his other hand grabbed your wrist. You panicked, retracting your arm to your chest, holding onto where it burned.

“You should run that over cold water,” Toji looked alarmed as well, he was already moving around the table and to your side. “Do you have a sink here?”

“I-I do,” You stammer, “but it’s okay, I’ll wash it after I process the payment—”

“You just spilled hot tea over your arm, if you don’t rinse cold water over it now, it’ll leave a burn mark.” His green eyes are boring down at you, his entire figure towers over you, too. Your heart is hammering against your chest, this can’t be happening, no one can see your arms.

“Ms. L/N,” Toji refers to you, “where is the bathroom?”

“I’ll do it,” You tell him weakly, “let me just process your payment…”

Toji snatched the card off the table, “Let me rinse your arm and then you process the payment.”

You stared at him with widened eyes, why does he care so much about you spilling tea over your arm?! Toji looked around, the office was so small, that it wasn’t hard to spot the bathroom.

“It’s this one, right?” Toji is already walking towards the door towards the back of the lobby. He opens it, flickering on the lights, the bathroom. You’re frozen in your spot, losing a sense of your surroundings. If only you could cut right now. Your arm is burning, but then again, it’s what you desire to feel when harming yourself. You’d done it before, you had burned yourself before with matches, even a heated tea kettle, too. You’d be okay, you knew you would…

“Ms. L/N,” Toji’s voice startles you, not realizing he had made his way back to you. His eyes scan your face, he guides you to the bathroom and you follow, not occupied with trying to stay grounded. You and Toji stood in the bathroom in front of the sink, he turned on the faucet to cold water and he brought your arm underneath the running water, his hand pulling up your sleeve.

Your breath hitched in your throat, your body in paralysis mode as you waited for Toji to comment on your scarred arm. You avoided his gaze, just let your vision blur as you stared at the water running over your arm.

“Where’s your first aid kit?” Toji asks instead.

“Under the desk,” You tell him wearily. When he steps out of the bathroom, your head hangs low, finally feeling like you can breathe. The cold water was starting to make your arm feel numb…

Toji came back into the bathroom, opened the first aid kit, and took out the supplies; ointment and bandage wrap. He turned off the water and dried your hands with the paper towels in the bathroom. He held the paper towels over your arm for a few moments, he still hadn’t addressed your self-harm scars. Silently, Toji applied ointment to your arm and wrapped up your arm.

He then took out his card from his back pocket and set it into your palm, “I’ll be out in the front,” He stepped out and you stood there, blankly staring down at your bandaged arm and the card in your hand.

After doing some breathing exercises that your therapist had taught you before, you went to the front, avoiding your gaze with Toji. He had one of his elbows leaned against the table. You could feel his gaze on you as your fingers stumbled across the keyboard, typing in the total price and then scanning his card.

You handed the card to Toji and said in a weak tone, “Thank you, Mr. Fushiguro, it was a pleasure working with you.”

“I’ll call to set up another appointment for next week,” Toji’s fingers brush against yours as he takes the card from your hands, “Shiu was right, your hands are like magic.”

You keep your head down, hiding your bandaged arm under the table. Toji leaves, and it’s then that you realize that Toji had also cleaned up the tea that had spilled on the front desk as well.

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