#i have a pair and they’re horrible and difficult to walk in and i think they’d be perfect
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this is false not because i believe geten dresses well but because i cannot picture that person in warm weather clothing. put that thing in an old sweater, pajama pants that don’t match and ugg (emphasis on the UGH) boots. t’is the season all year round for geten.
i dont believe geten dresses well. this is propaganda from twink lovers. i think he wears calf high nike socks and slides and tank tops 2 sizes too big
#this is meant to be lighthearted#and i feel the need to clarify that because everyone else on tumblr takes me and my butchered linguistics literally#anyway.#warm weather clothes i 100% accept for geten are shark sliders#i have a pair and they’re horrible and difficult to walk in and i think they’d be perfect#this is mostly personal bias too because the parka fit is burned into my skull and id have an aneurysm if i saw geten’s ankles#also im pretty sure this is the masc geten side and im assigned to the femme geten side so what do i know#this just amused me#im so sick
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do i get to know your name? — kim chaewon
pairing : idol!chaewon x fan!gn!reader ➖⟢ genres : fluff, idol!au ➖⟢ cw : nothing, i think!➖⟢ wc : 1K
chaewon falls a little bit in love with a lot of her fans. they’re all so pretty, so sweet as they grin and cheer her on. but god, the second she makes eye contact with you, with your eyes turned up and a smile so genuine and joyful that it lights your face up in a way she’s never seen before, it’s over for her. she sends you a wave and a wink, more than satisfied by your wild reaction as you scream in joy.
all night long, she pays special attention to you, always drifting back to you to point at you, pick up your phone and wave to it, even blow you kisses and send you hearts with her pretty hands. all while staring right at you, she talks into her mic about "how pretty our fearnots are."
you think you must be going crazy. there's no way she'd pay all that close attention to you, right? you wonder if she always does this for other fans, but you can't help but deliver a happy reaction each time she does something that seems like it's just for you. she winks, and you wink back, making her grin even wider than before. she loves that she can make you shy in an instant, but that you’re willing to flirt back too.
she notices how kindly you act towards the other fans around you, and it hits her that she just needs to know you. chaewon can’t quite place it, but there’s something about you that has her thinking about you as she performs a song or the moment she walks in another direction to greet other fans.
after the concert, by some miracle, she manages to convince the staff to find you, and they actually do. you’re eternally confused when they invite you backstage, thinking it must be a joke or wondering if you did something horribly wrong to get in some sort of massive trouble.
they stick you in a random room and ask you to wait just a few minutes, brushing off your questions due to how busy they are. nervously, you pick at the hem of your shirt, the adrenaline from the concert still coursing through your veins, making it difficult for your brain to differentiate between the nervousness due to your unknown situation and the excitement of the rest of the night. to distract yourself, you pull out your phone, pulling up the video of chaewon grabbing it and posing for your camera. you giggle helplessly when she blows a kiss to the camera, then hands it back to you with a flirty smile that could have you melting right then and there.
you barely catch the sound of the door opening over the sounds of the screams coming from your phone. you quickly shut it off and set it down, hoping no one catches you in such a state. the device nearly tumbles straight to the floor when you look up to who opened the door.
you fumble for words, but she doesn’t let you flounder for too long before speaking.
“hi,” she grins, “sorry to keep you waiting, i just had to make sure i caught you before you left.”
her words don’t help you make sense of things at all, because it’s chaewon herself standing right in front of you.
“well, i mean, i-it’s okay! no worries, i’m so you’re so busy and exhausted right now and– yeah. um. did you, uh– need something from me?” mentally, you’re slapping your palm to your forehead. could i sound any stupider, you berate yourself in your head, still infinitely confused.
she can’t help but laugh softly, sweet and good-natured, at your flustered stake given how endearing she finds it. she always thinks it’s cute when her fans get nervous around her, but again, god, you’re just something different. with you, she just feels all the adoration tenfold when she looks at you, and she realizes that maybe love at first sight is real.
the smile she gives you is so sweet you really think you’re in true danger of melting this time. “well, you really caught my eye, i guess.” suddenly she’s feeling a little shy, too, realizing she’s never done anything like this before. but she pushes through it, easily back to her flirty and cute self. “and i couldn’t just let you disappear on me. you’re too cute for that.”
your eyes widen. you feel as though you must be hallucinating. “i– really?” is all you manage to say.
“really,” she confirms. “i know this is unconventional, and you don’t have to say yes to anything if you just want to stay my fan, but i’d really like to get to know you. if you want, let’s start with your name.” she grins, eager to hear your name so she can let it fall off her own lips.
“i’m– i mean, i would love that, i just– are you sure? i mean– that’s great, i’m just– just a bit– i don’t know, confused, i guess? this just … kind of doesn’t feel real,” you let out a disbelieving laugh, mostly at this whole situation and partially at how little sense you probably just made. and despite your last few words about this feeling fake, an uncontrollable grin tugs at your lips.
“i’m definitely sure,” she smiles right back at you. “and like i said, i know this is out of the norm, i get it not feeling quite real, even i’m a little confused right now, but truly, i just couldn’t get you out of my head since the moment we met eyes and i know that sounds super strange, but i’d really like to know more about you.
you let out another flustered laugh, but her words and the sincerity of her tone finally begin to sink in. “i’d really like that, too.”
she looks at you expectantly, like you’ve forgotten something. you raise your eyebrows questioningly, wondering what she’s looking for.
“so, do i get to know your name?”
#kim chaewon#chaewon x reader#le sserafim#le sserafim x reader#le sserafim x you#le sserafim chaewon#le sserafim chaewon x reader#chaewon fluff#le sserafim fluff#le sserafim fanfic#le sserafim imagines#le sserafim reactions#le sserafim oneshots#le sserafim ff#chaewon imagines#chaewon fanfiction#chaewon fanfic#kim chaewon x reader#kim chaewon fluff#kim chaewon requests#kimc chaewon x reader#kim chaewon le sserafim
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Hi, if you're still taking requests, could you do some Reese Wilkerson headcannons with an autistic girlfriend?
I would like to believe that he is someone very protective of a girlfriend like that.
Reese Wilkerson With An Autistic Girlfriend Headcanons
Masterlist
Request Something!
A/N: im not autistic so i hope i did an okay job at this
***
I think Reese would feel a bit protective of a girlfriend no matter what
But that feeling would definitely heighten if the person he was dating was autistic
He’d probably need you to explain what autism is and how it affects you
After that, he’d do his best to make sure you’re not overstimulated, uncomfortable, etc
“I got something for you,” Reese said, pulling off his backpack. You stopped walking and watched Reese as he crouched on the ground to rifle through his bag, bouncing on the balls of your feet.
“What is it?” You asked, leaning slightly over to try to look into his messy backpack. But Reese shot up before you could get a good look, item in his hands.
“Here.” Your boyfriend handed you a pair of cushiony headphones. “Malcolm helped me pick them out. I know you hate loud noises and stuff like that.”
“Thanks, Reese.” You said, looking at the equipment in your hands. There was a small but appreciative smile on your face.
“They’re soundproof. And they’re collapsible, so they’re easy to pack when you don’t wanna wear them.” You nodded along, putting them on to test them out. They were pretty comfortable; the cushions on the ears didn’t press you in a way that would make your head or ears sore after a while. And it did a great job of blocking out sound.
“I like them.” You said, glancing over at him. “Ready?” Reese nodded, zipping up his backpack. Then, the two of you continued your walk home.
If you have a safe food, he knows about it
He tries to keep a stock of stuff you like, whether he has to buy it or make it
If one of your safe/preferred foods is something he makes, he takes that shit to heart
Reese does his best to make it the exact same every time
“You hungry?” Reese asked as he let the two of you into the house. You nodded, passing him to sit at the kitchen table and take out what you needed to do your homework. “What do you want?”
“I dunno.” You sighed, feeling as if you had suddenly forgotten all food options.
Reese rummaged around his cabinets and fridge, pulling something out that he knew you liked. Showing it to you as a silent question, you nodded, and he got to work on cooking it.
While he cooked, you worked on homework. While you thought, you tapped on the table in a repetitive rhythm that Reese instantly recognized. It used to annoy him, mainly because he didn’t know why you did it so much. But when he finally asked you about it, you told him it was a regular stim of yours. Now, he’s grown to appreciate the tapping pattern because it meant you were probably getting grounded and because it was a catchy tune.
“Here you go.” Reese set the finished plate of food on the table, grabbing a small fork instead of one of the big ones. You waited until you finished the problem you were working on to push your schoolwork aside and eat. “How is it?”
“Good.” You said after swallowing the first bite. Reese always made your food right, part of the perks of dating someone with such culinary talent. “Thank you.” Reese silently celebrated before looking for something to make for himself.
He doesn’t judge the things you do that others would perceive as weird or off-putting
Mainly because he doesn’t have room to judge based on his own activities and hobbies
For example, he doesn’t mind if you go non-verbal
Sometimes, he doesn’t like to talk because, knowing himself, he’ll probably say the wrong thing
You had been having a difficult day. It felt like everything was going wrong. A shirt you had wanted to wear suddenly had a horrible texture, so you had to find something else to wear. Finding something that felt right took a while, making you late to school. You felt thrown off your routine, and when you thought things couldn’t get worse, you realized you had forgotten to grab your headphones in your rush to leave the house.
“You okay?” Reese asked as the two of you walked to your house. You shrugged. Leaving school definitely helped make you feel less overstimulated, but you still didn’t feel too good. “Not talking?” You nodded, and Reese nodded in response instead of saying something.
You appreciated the fact that he was never offended by you not wanting to talk, like others might be. And when he knew that you were in a nonverbal state, he decided not to speak as much, hoping the fact that you weren’t expected to give a response would make you more comfortable.
When you got home, you immediately put on your dearly missed headphones and rushed to your room. Reese knew this routine, following you to your bedroom to shut your blackout curtains while you changed into something more comfortable and settled into bed.
“Want me to tuck you in?” Reese asked as he approached your bedside. He knew the answer but always wanted to ask first. When you nodded, he tucked your weighted blanket into your sides until you felt completely secure. “Want me to go?” You shook your head furiously. Reese nodded in understanding and sat on the floor, leaning against the side of your bed.
Reese doesn’t hesitate to fight anyone who makes fun of you
Even if it’s a little teasing comment that’s not meant to be mean, he stares them down until they apologize
If he does fight someone, he makes sure that you don’t see it happen
He doesn’t want you getting overwhelmed or feeling guilty by something like that, especially since he’s doing it over you
Reese loves you and would do anything to make you happy or comfortable
***
Malcolm in the Middle Taglist: @rattilol
#agaypanic#reese wilkerson#reese wilkerson x reader#reese wilkerson headcanons#malcolm in the middle#malcolm in the middle x reader
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One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is an ultra-accurate cosplay. I’m talking exact name brands. Obviously, this can be tough, because media in question will very rarely go out of their way to tell you what the character is wearing. Shoes, in particular, are very difficult.
I really like shoes. More so, I really like good leather shoes. The kind that last you your whole life. Currently, I’ve been hyperfixated on Metalocalypse, and today, we’re talkin boots.
Welcome to:
Bog’s Boot Basics: Metalocalypse Edition
I think people are scared of leather. I’m here to tell you that leather will not hurt you. You will not save the planet by buying a pleather boot. Actually, not only is pleather horrible for the planet, it’s also gonna cost you more in the long run because pleather isn’t built to last.
Say it with me: Leather is more sustainable than pleather.
I’m serious. Stop buying pleather boots off amazon for your cosplays. Stop buying pleather, period.
Most of the boots (and sneakers) I’m showing you today will not only elevate your cosplay, but also last you for the rest of your natural days. If you buy them secondhand, they have probably lived longer lives than you. Leather fucking rocks if you take care of it.
This all being said: These are not super budget-friendly options. Good new boots are an investment, and sometimes you have to pay a little more. If you’re not able to do that, these can often be found on ebay at lower prices, and very often at second-hand stores.
Ok, that aside, we can jump in.
I’m stealing a pic from the comic because it shows all their shoes. Although Skwis and Toki’s boot colors are actually reversed here - Skwis wears black boots, Toki wears brown in the show. Blah blah, anyway.
Nathan Explosion
Nathan wears some sort of single buckle, black tall boot. For our sake, we’re calling them biker boots.
Single buckle, slightly slouchy at the ankle, low heel. No laces or visible zippers.
Nathan does, in fact, ride motorcycles. Because of this, I’m going on a limb and saying these are actual biker boots. Nathan also, in fact, has money, and Harley Davidson boots are a fantastic choice for this.
Here’s a pair of Harley Chalmers with an extra buckle - no foul there, these are cunty as hell and I’d totally wear them anyway.
Pro: Fucking brutal
Con: Brutal fucking price tag at $200 new.
Honestly, if you’ve got the money and you want a sick pair of boots… buy em. Harley’s last forever.
The Harley double-zip riding boot is a slightly cheaper option, sitting around $100-$120.
Honestly, these are gonna be easy to find. Your keywords here are “Tall biker boot with buckle” or something along those lines. That’s doable. I also see a lot of secondhand Harley’s going for really reasonable asking prices, so always check all your thrift stores and ebay (depop and mercari are kinda a crapshoot, but always worth looking.)
Skwisgaar Skwigelf/Toki Wartooth
These are the boots that made me make this post, because I saw them and immediately thought “there’s no fucking way they’re walking around in those 24/7,” because those are old school field boots.
Ask any person who’s ever ridden a horse over the age of 30 if they can take a look in the backs of their closets, because they most definitely still have a pair of these boots. Every equestrian had at least one pair of these torture devices, and they will outlive you.
Here’s an example of a black pair and a brown pair:
Pros: You can get these on ebay for anywhere between $20-$100. Facebook market place is full of them too.
Cons: These were made for you to wear while sitting on a horse all day, heels down. When you walk in them, they will pinch the everloving fuck out of your heels, and this leather is too thick and stiff to soften. If you’re gonna walk around in these on a convention floor, please bring a change of shoes because you will fucking need them.
But these are so easy to find and they usually shine up really well. If you don’t have leather conditioner (which you should if you own leather shoes) olive oil works in a pinch.
You also usually have a couple different calf options here, so you can tack on “wide calf” or “tall calf” or “slim calf” etc etc depending on your needs.
Your keywords here are “Old school equestrian riding/field/hunt boots.” So fuckin easy.
William Murderface
It pains me to say this. But that dildo fuckhead is wearing Demonias.
Look at him. He knows what he’s doing. I use the term Dildo Fuckhead affectionately btw, please don’t mistake me for a Murderface hater. I love him.
Honestly, I think you could get away with calling these mid-calf’s, but they’re probably technically tall boots.
Obviously I hate Demonias. These plastic fucking emo Barbie boots are worth approximately $8 and a cup of Kraft mac n cheese. They will cost you well over $100. Fuck that.
I’ve heard that older New Rocks are good alternatives? I have a friend that backs that claim up, but I don’t have a pair to confirm that. I’m sure there’s some Doc Martens you could sub in but I couldn’t find any matches under $400.
These are a pair of New Rocks. They’re… that I guess. Kinda cool. He’s probably not even really wearing Demonias but like, that’s what they are. To me. In my heart.
Here’s a pair of Demonia Riot-18BK. I guess. They’re about $133.
Murderface somehow has the most difficult boots for me to find. Plenty of cheapo Temu options, but I’m not here to show you those. Please let me know if you buy a pair of Temu boots so I can come to your house and break every fucking lamp you own.
Your keywords are “Tall boot with buckles” or “tall biker boots with buckles” or anything along those lines.
I feel like you’ve got a little more room for interpretation on Murderface’s boots, so long as their tall boots and they’ve got the buckles, you’re golden.
Wild Card Round: Pickles the Drummer
Man is wearing adidas!!! Pickles cosplayers are the comfiest motherfuckers in the convention hall.
Campus 00s, Samba OGs, Handball Spezial, Superstars, and Racer V 2.0 are all going to get you extremely close renditions of his shoes. The racer’s are my everyday shoe when I don’t wanna wear boots and those fuckers are. So comfy. Wear em without socks, who fuckin cares. I bet Pickles doesn’t even own socks.
If you’re going for Snakes N Barrels Pickles, try looking up “red Justin cowboy boots.” Justin’s are my go to brand because they last forever (I have a pair from the 70s) and they’re pretty comfy. They’re work boots, so they’re made to be worn/worked in all day.
If you’re made of money, buy yourself a pair of Tecovas. Those are the nicest cowboy boot you’ll ever own.
Blam! Bootboard moodboard! I probably should have done this with all of them.
Anyway. Have fun, remember that inaccurate pieces don’t make or break a cosplay, this is just for fun and to elevate whatever you’ve got going on. Wear your shoes until they fall apart (that’s what i do. get your moneys worth), be kind to your feet, be kind to your shoes (actually you can be pretty harsh to leather so long as you do a little aftercare. this is an innuendo, but also please clean and condition your leather pieces.) and be kind to the planet. Leather is better than pleather. You are paying a premium for plastic. Don’t do that.
(Lemme know if this is cool/useful btw. I would be so happy to find boots/brands of clothing for your cosplays. I think my inbox is open.)
#metalocalypse#metalocalypse cosplay#cosplay tutorial#cosplay help#bog blab#nathan explosion#william murderface#skwisgaar skwigelf#toki wartooth#pickles the drummer#dethklok#dethklok cosplay
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Hello!
I don’t know if your matchup requests are still open and if not you can totally ignore this, but I was wondering if I could get a Lotr/The Hobbit matchup (preferably male).
A bit about myself:
Female / 5’7 / eneagram 6 / Gemini
My top two love languages are quality time and acts of service.
In my spare time, I love to read and write. It is a great passion of mine, and I hope to make something of it one day. Sometimes I journal as well.
I love to be outside in nature because it allows me to unwind after a long day. I also really like going on walks while listening to music in the mornings.
I do have a horrible habit of getting so wound up in projects that I forget to rest both mentally and physically. Taking care of mental health has been the primary struggle, but I have gotten better at it over time.
I prefer to be kind to all I meet, but sometimes my desire for justice gets in the way.
I also really like watching people do an activity. Sitting in silence watching someone else do something they’re passionate about is very healing and cozy for me.
My personal aesthetic can be described as vintage-inspired; think long skirts and blouses. I love brighter colors such as pink and lavender, but I don’t mind darker tones on occasion, especially when the season calls for it.
Some other things that I like are sunsets/sunrises, animals of any kind, warm beverages like coffee or tea, a clean space, collecting gemstones, candlelight, and soft blankets.
Things I dislike are bugs, getting rained on (I love the rain, don’t get me wrong, but the sensory experience of having rain fall on me is not ideal), large changes in plans, people talking too loudly, and just rude people in general.
Again, if your requests for matchups are not open, feel free to ignore this, but I thank you for taking the time to read this.
Have a wonderful/blessed day,
-Finn
Heck yeah! I opened them indefinitely since I wasn’t overwhelmed with them :))) your Middle-Earthly match is…
Our Boy Lindir :)
Returning to Rivendell on errand from Elrond, you are met with one of his most trusted confidants, another finely dressed brunette elf who greets you with a smile. “I wasn’t warned of any visitors,” he jokes, giving you a charming look, “who might you be?” “Finn, they call me,” you dismount and curtsy as your horse is taken away, “and I come for an exchange with Lord Elrond, if you please. If he is on business, I can-” “Stay, please,” the elf bids you with a sweep of his hand, “we hardly call ourselves the last homely house for nothing. If you can wait until after supper our lord shall be happy to make your audience.”
Easily you can, thus you are granted a room and a meal with the elves, where you are sat with none other than Elrond himself. Lindir, the elf who had greeted you, stands at his side, and you smile at him. Clear as it is that he is not partaking in the meal, you find yourself drawing him into the conversation once the discussion of your craft ends. The…servant perhaps? appears surprised to learn you are a collector and dealer of gemstones. “Don’t worry,” you tease him, “I don’t mine them myself too.” Supper goes well, your deal with Elrond for the gemstones he needed happily closed and yourself quite charmed, both by the fact Rivendell’s lord is making jewelry for his distant wife and by the gracious hosting of his servant.
Offering to walk you back to your room under claim of his home being quite the labyrinth, you ask Lindir how he finds his duties and what the most difficult part is. Simply put? Rude patrons. Your own distaste for the impertinent gets the better of you, and soon the pair of you are swapping stories outside your door. Laughing far louder than you’d have thought allowed in the great ornate settlement. Soon darkness overtakes the hall, however, and pressing a kiss to your hand, Lindir bids you a good night. It hardly escapes your notice the look of scandal across his own face, but in your kindness you choose not to address it.
Sunrise over the Valley of Imladris is one of the most majestic sights to ever pleasure your eyes; sipping the warm cup of tea another early riser shared with you, you glance beyond the spill of golden light to see Lindir making his way to set a harp near the tables. “Getting the players ready this early?” Shaking his head, he confesses the sunrise inspires him, inspires him so that he enjoys rising with the sun to compose songs. Lightning up, you carry your teacup over his way and share your own love of composition. Soon even the gorgeous sunrise fades as you are lost in song, melody overtaking your ears as Lindir sings a poem you’d penned on your travels. His passion is nearly palpable, flooding your heart with comfort and joy and all the same warmth of your invigorating tea. Passage of time utterly forgotten, your musical moment is only interrupted by Lord Elrond’s entrance and passing, quite amused, comment that you two are quite an unexpected gift, are you not?
Heat rushing to your face, you excuse yourself to attend to your jewelry-making. Once again, minutes or hours may have passed when a knock sounds at the door of your lent workspace. Stretching and wincing at the unpleasant pop, you stride across the room on shaky legs to open the door. Lindir! “I…I apologize, Finn, but we were rather concerned when we were told you hadn’t emerged again.” Raising the tray in his hands, one lain with a light meal and drink, he smiles. “We appreciate your work for Lady Celebrían, but please don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.” You could have kissed him then and there, but you waited a week until your departure, goodbye making the taste of his soft lips that much more bittersweet.
More and more frequently do your journeys take you back to Rivendell until the day comes that Lord Elrond himself appoints you his craftswoman…and winks as he inquires that you have more than just a home to return to now, do you not? He knows the trials of love between elves and mortals just as well as he knows it is a choice made freely.
Lindir honors that choice day after day, always appearing as if with prescience that you’ve thrown yourself into your work again. Sometimes you slip into sleep there in your space, awakening with your favorite blanket draped over your hunched form and a cheeky note inviting you for a morning stroll when you’re up for it.
Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰
#lord of the rings#lotr#lotr imagines#lotr x reader#lord of the rings matchups#lindir#lindir x reader#lindir x female reader#female reader#matchup monday#ask#findelyfantasy#requested#hope you love it! 🫶🏻
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Chill of the Unknown
Author: Autobot2001 Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Transformers Rating: E Warning: None Pairing: None Description: A mission to investigate an energon signal turns into a search mission.
Day 3 @augustofwhump: freezing @augusnippets - path of whumperless whump: blizzard
Ten N.E.S.T. soldiers and five Autobots are on a mission searching for an energon signal. Nine humans are in two vehicles, as it’s the middle of the winter. Because of the terrain, the Autobots are walking. One human sits on Drift’s shoulder. Drift didn’t bother arguing with Jamie. He knows she has powers to keep her warm. After a while, Jamie chooses to walk beside Crosshairs and Drift. The team is getting close to the signal. Some have argued why they couldn’t groundbridge closer. Tiring of the two-hour walk in the snow.
Ten feet away from the signal, a blizzard suddenly starts. Drift grabs Jamie, worried about losing sight of her. The walk through the storm is difficult and slow. The team makes little progress toward the signal when they are attacked from behind. A Decepticon fires in the team’s direction, not to kill anyone but to cause an hour explosion and separate everyone. A distraction while they investigate the signal. “Is everyone ok?” Optimus asks. Everyone says they’re ok. The two vehicles full of soldiers aren’t damaged. Things look fine, so the mission can continue until Crosshairs and Drift say they can’t find Jamie. “You don’t think this was a kidnapping?” A soldier asks. “I know she’s small, but could the explosion really cause her to be separated from us?” Another soldier asks. “If the cause of the explosion hit around her just right,” Ironhide points out. With Optimus’ approval, Crosshairs and Drift search for their charge and friend while everyone else continues with the mission. The concern is the blizzard and if Jamie cannot use her powers to stay warm. The two struggle to run through the blizzard while searching for Jamie. Hoping her reddish-orange gi will help them spot her and that they’re going the right way.
Ten minutes pass. The two are getting concerned. They went the wrong way and know this means it will take longer to find Jamie. Memories of the nightmare situation try to resurface in their processors. They know ten minutes is dangerous if Jamie isn’t in a good state.
Finding Jamie unconscious terrifies the two. They know that’s not good since it’s been fifteen minutes. In addition, she wasn’t keeping herself warm. :: Ratchet, we have a medical emergency!:: Crosshairs comms the medic. The medics worry about hearing Crosshairs contacting them. Their concern is Jamie’s condition, picking a horrible time for a flare-up. The three hurry to the coordinates.
The scene horrifies the three medics. The story adds to their horror. It wouldn’t be the first time Jamie has had hypothermia, but the concern is this time, it’s severe, and she won’t be so lucky. Adding to their concern about Crosshairs’ and Drift’s mental health. They know memories of the nightmare situation plague their processors. Seeing Jamie in the medbay is difficult for Crosshairs and Drift.
#transformers#transformers fanfiction#transformers autobots#transformers crosshairs#bayverse crosshairs#transformers drift#bayverse drift#Jamie (OC)#transformers Optimus prime#august of whump#august of whump 2024#day 3#freezing#augusnippets#augusnipppets 2024#blizzard#seperated#caught in a blizzard#explotion
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the love project | jjk
summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.
{college!au, friends to lovers!au}
pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 12k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!
These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur.
At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.
Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks.
Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all.
Your best friend would have to disagree.
“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”
“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”
“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”
He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.
Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode.
Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn���t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments.
But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.
“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”
Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did.
He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself.
“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half.
“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”
“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”
“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”
“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”
“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you.
“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”
Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.
There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he’s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off.
The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything.
So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong.
“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds.
It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you.
“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated.
“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.
“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”
“What do you have to do?”
Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”
You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly.
“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”
“Oh,” You say dumbly.
“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”
“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you.
Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”
“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”
“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”
“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years.
“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”
He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost.
Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about.
“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”
“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”
He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.
“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”
“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless.
“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”
“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.
You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together.
Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest.
Click.
“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?
From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task.
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”
“Well, how many do you have now?”
It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.
You wonder what the hell he sees in you.
“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement.
“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk.
Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows.
It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click.
He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why.
“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?
“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”
“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.
Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”
You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”
“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”
“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”
“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair.
“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”
Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems.
The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you.
When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.
“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.
“I never want to miss anything.”
“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”
“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”
“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?
“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”
At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship.
You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it.
Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio.
Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic.
This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since.
It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have.
“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows.
“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”
“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in.
You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”
“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.
“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”
“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once.
“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”
“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.
“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”
Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”
“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”
“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”
“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this.
You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right?
The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.
“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins.
“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing.
You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”
You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention.
“Y/N!”
You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind.
Another voice breaks you from your trance.
“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide.
The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes.
“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”
“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to.
Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you.
“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”
The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”
Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you.
“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”
“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”
“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you?
What do you not know?
By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.
This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?
Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.
You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence.
Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them?
Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.
Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.
So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.
An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met.
And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.
The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.
“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.
You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.
The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor.
“Whoa.”
“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook.
“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”
“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”
“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”
“Yeah.”
It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date.
“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”
“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”
“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this.
“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”
Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”
“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”
“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”
“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”
You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you.
“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”
“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief.
Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”
He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it.
Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it.
And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory.
Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away.
You wonder what he sees.
(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)
“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.
You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders.
“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”
Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door.
“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”
There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.
“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”
Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door.
For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left.
The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind.
You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet.
[November 7th, 8:48PM]
You: you still game for that movie?
[November 7th, 8:50PM]
Jungkook: you finished your date already?
You: is that a yes or a no
Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that
You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me You: i’m coming over
The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.
Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side.
But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet.
Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive.
“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist.
“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him.
“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them.
You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”
“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted.
“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”
Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing.
Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter.
“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”
“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”
To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash.
He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them.
“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.
Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him.
Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”
The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card.
“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black.
“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised.
Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure.
“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body.
The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is.
“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you.
“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”
“I want to see it.”
“What? My project?”
“What else?”
“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”
You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”
“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”
“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”
“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?
“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown.
“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back.
You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further.
“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.
Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”
And that’s good enough for you.
You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.
You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.
“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”
“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”
“How do you know what feels right?”
Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him.
The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet.
So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?
Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment.
The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester.
Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there.
Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that.
Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?
Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right.
“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”
“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk.
Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room.
You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind.
Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world.
As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well.
The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen.
There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written.
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.
What?
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.
This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page…
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over.
“Y/N?”
You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling.
“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed.
“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom.
“Uh—”
“Were you reading my computer screen?”
It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else.
“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head.
(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now.
If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over.
I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)
“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease.
“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart.
“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”
“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you.
“So you are hiding something?”
“That’s not the point, the point is that—”
“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”
“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving.
He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless.
“Jungkook—?”
“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”
“Know what? What would I know?”
Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”
The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating.
“You’re in love with me?” You ask him.
“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”
You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”
Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”
“And you are mine,” you remind him.
“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”
“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”
And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain.
You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing.
But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure.
He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth.
He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about.
By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out.
“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”
“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.
“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”
Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process.
You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world.
“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”
“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”
“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”
“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”
“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”
“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious.
It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side.
“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”
What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?
Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.
Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?
Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her.
This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?
Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”
↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!
#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#bts imagine#jungkook imagine#bts au#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#w: the love project#yes i am finishing this at 6am on the day its meant to be posted... MIND UR OWN BUSINESS
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break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored
+ pairings: um… armin x reader…. but, spotlight on jean—just... read it to understand, please
+ genres and warnings: college au what’s new, fluff… you’re just going to have to work with me and trust me on this one alright
+ notes: free colt he ain’t do nothing wrong i just needed someone outside of their immediate friend group to blame i am so sorry justice for my boy colt and falco too
+ more notes: longer levi fic still in progress, so have jean thee comedian in the meantime
“I think I have a crush on someone.”
Jean crosses his arms and makes it a point to huff even louder than before so that you can accurately assess his annoyance at moment; going so far as to slump back into your not so comfortable couch to really sell it.
“And that is why you manhandled me all the way to your apartment on a Tuesday afternoon?” he asks, voice flat and eyes hooded.
You groan and roll your eyes. Jean’s eyebrows are pinched together with more judgement than confusion at your current state of distress when you sit next to him on the sofa, a knee bent in his direction.
“Jeanie, I don’t think you’re understanding the severity of my issue.”
“You’re right, I’m not,” he drawls, “But, please, do enlighten me. It’s not like I have an essay to write or anything.”
“I have a crush,” you reiterate, hands mapping out every syllable in your sentence, “On someone who is not my boyfriend.”
“I see,” he nods, but his voice remains flat, “And, pray tell, what exactly is my role in all of this?”
“You’re supposed to use your philosophical psychoanalytical bullshit to tell me what’s wrong with me and how to fix it.”
“Philosophy and psychology are two different disciplines.”
“They sound the same to me.”
“That’s because you’re a single-celled chem major.”
“I think it takes more than a single cell to study chem.”
“Oh, is that what they tell you guys, now?”
“You’re not fucking helping.”
“Yes, I am,” he tuts, “It’s called talk therapy.”
“It sounds like you’re just taking shots at me.”
“Best friend talk therapy allows for a few digs here and there.”
“Jean,” you pinch his arm. He flinches, and yelps loudly, immediately raising the affected arm to counter with a flick to the center of your forehead. You glare, the palm of your left hand covering the sting on your skin, but concede, “Well played.”
“Thank you,” he nods, “I learned from the best.”
“Okay, now that you’ve gotten your ego boost for the day, can we worry about my problem, please.”
He shrugs, crossing resting his left ankle atop his right knee, “Sure.”
“Thank you.”
“What exactly is the problem, again?”
You sigh, and lean your head on Jean’s shoulder, “I have a boyfriend—”
“We’ve been over that.”
“—and the person I have a crush on is not my boyfriend.”
“Okay,” he pauses, “Are you going to do anything about this crush?”
“Well, I… no,” you ponder, “I don’t think so.”
“Okay,” he repeats, “So, then why are you so worked up about it?”
“Because!... Because… I don’t know, it’s… wrong? I’m in a relationship with someone else—isn’t this, like, emotional cheating?”
“Maybe,” he says, “I don’t know a whole lot about relationship psychology.”
“Come on, Jean.”
He sighs, “I’m serious, I don’t know, (_____).”
You whine, sounds muffled by the fabric of Jean’s sweater where your cheek lay pressed against his shoulder. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”
“You’re not, stop it,” Jean answers firmly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, “You’re not horrible for having emotions that are difficult to work through.”
“Okay, then, I’m just a horrible girlfriend.”
“Maybe.”
“Jean.”
“Sorry,” he winces, patting your head for extra encouragement. It’s meant to be comforting, but it makes you feel like a patronized six-year-old, at best. It’s quiet for a while, with you mulling over Jean’s words, and him trying to pull you into the worst side hug in all of existence.
“Do you think,” you break the silence, “Maybe I should I break up with him?”
“Yes,” his answer comes too quickly, and much too enthusiastically.
You lift your head from his shoulder, unamused, but Jean doesn’t even try to hide the glimmer of hope in his eyes.
“You’re just saying that because you don’t like him.”
“No,” he pauses when he catches glimpse of the disbelief on your face, “Okay, yes, I don’t like him. At all.”
“Jean—”
“But maybe this is your subconscious telling you that you don’t like him either, and that you should, instead, go after your crush.”
“Oh, so now you want to use your psychobullshit on me?”
“If it means I don’t have to pretend to like Colt anymore, then yes,” he replies, a stupid, shit-eating grin on his lips.
You scoff, arms crossed against your chest, “You don’t even pretend to like him now.”
Jean shrugs, “I pretend to like him to his face.”
“No, you don’t,” you insist, “You’re probably the worst at it, in fact.”
“I’m not worse than Connie.”
“You called him an asshole. To his face.”
“Connie poured tequila on him.”
“Connie was drunk. You were completely sober.”
“Connie would have done it sober and you know it.”
You open your mouth to refuse, but the words fall silent in your throat. Connie probably would have done it sober. “Okay, fine, whatever, you don’t like him,” you wave away the subject, “Do you really think this crush is my subconscious telling me to break up with him, though? I mean—it’s just, crushes are kind of fleeting right?”
“Sure, but—”
“What if I break up with him, and then I get over my crush, and realize I made a mistake.”
“Then you learn and grow, and find a new crush.”
“I’m being serious.”
“So am I,” he insists, “You’re beating yourself up pretty bad over this mystery guy—”
“—It could be a girl.”
“Is it a girl? Oh, is it Mikasa? Are you still hung up over her—you know I’m sure she’d make out with you asked. I think you both could relieve a lot of tension that way, actually.”
“You’re the worst person to walk this planet, you know that?” you sneer, annoyed by the smug grin on Jean’s face. So what if you had a tiny crush on Mikasa? Most people did, Jean included.
“Look,” Jean continues, “You and I both know you’re not a cheater, but you and I also know you’re just like Eren when it comes to things like this.”
“Just like Eren?”
“Falls too fast, too hard,” he clarifies, “I get the feeling you’ve had these feelings for a while, and that they’re not fleeting.”
You pout, and Jean knows that he’s right. “Okay, so say I do break up with Colt—”
“Which you should do, regardless.”
“—If we break up, then what? I still won’t know what to do with my left over grief. It’s not like I can just... go ask this guy out right away.”
“Yes, you can,” Jean presses, “In fact, you should.”
“No, I can’t,” you insist.
“Why not?”
“Well for one, I’ll look like a heartless whore.”
“You’re not a heartless whore for asking a guy out.”
“I am if I do it right after breaking up with my boyfriend.”
“Your internalized misogyny is showing,” he sing-songs, “Come on, you’re not a whore for doing what you want with a guy, you know that.”
“Okay, fine, not a whore, whatever,” you roll your eyes, “But I still couldn’t ask him out.”
“It’s the twenty first century, just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t ask him—”
“Not because of that, dumb goose,” you glare, “I meant because—it’s, well, it’d be really sudden and kind of… awkward?”
“It’s not like he’d know you just broke up with someone, unless that’s one of your conversation starters.”
You sigh, a hand on your forehead. “Yes, he would, Jean.”
“How could he possibly—oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” you mock, a heavy sigh leaving your chest as you resume your previous sulking position, head leaning against his shoulder with your right cheek squished against his sweater.
“(_____), I’m honored, but you’re not really my type. I’d be willing to help you get over him though.”
“It’s not you, you fucking long-necked pigeon, it’s Arm—,” you cut yourself short, hands clamped over your own mouth.
“Oh my god!” Jean all but screams, propelling his body away from you with just enough distance to extend his arm, finger pointing directly at your chest, “You like Armin!”
“Shut up!”
“You have a crush on Armin!”
“Shut up, Jean!”
“You have a big, fat crush on Armin!”
“Shut up! I said shut up, you pasty fucking giraffe looking ass bitch!”
“Oh my—okay, you have to break up with Colt, immediately,” Jean rushes, “I can’t believe this—if you think Armin wouldn’t go out with you, then you really do have the intelligence of a single celled organism.”
“What in the ever loving fuck are you talking about.”
“We’re talking about the same Armin, right? Armin Arlert, about this tall,” Jean raises his hand significantly lower than Armin’s actual height, “Studies astrophysics, follows you around like a lap dog—”
“He does not,” you scoff.
Jean guffaws, “Didn’t he take you on a tour of, like… the NASA museum for your birthday? With the super high-tech planetarium that people die to get into?”
“Actually, it was their headquarters, but it’s only because he gets special privileges for being an intern.”
“Didn’t he name a star after you?”
“Anyone can name a star after anyone,” you roll your eyes, “It’s really not that hard.”
“People do not fucking go to NASA and ask for stars for just anyone!” Jean screeches, hands flailing wildly.
“Armin does!”
“Yeah, for you!” Jean emphasizes, “Come on, do you think if anybody else called him right now and asked him to get a star in their name, or even just fucking take them to headquarters of the most renowned space organization in the country, that he would actually do it?”
“I mean, maybe, if like… Eren asked.”
Jean opens his mouth to refute, but freezes half way with a head-tilt and pursed lips. “Okay, yeah, maybe—whatever, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you need to tell him.”
“I don’t need to tell him shit.”
“You’re seriously choosing Colt over Armin? Who willingly stays with some greasy prick with the world’s most annoying younger brother, over a handsome, straight-A astrophysics student with a penchant for marine biology, and, like, really clear skin.”
“Oh, wow. I didn’t know Bertholdt was studying astro.”
“I wasn’t talking about Bertholdt.”
“It sounded like you were talking about Bertholdt.”
“I mean, Bertholdt’s got great skin, but it’s no where near as clear as Armin’s. He glows.”
It’s quiet again, as you eye Jean with a raised brow that’s all too familiar. “Are we sure that you’re not the one with the crush on Armin?”
“Shut up, you’re avoiding the point.”
“What’s the point, exactly?”
“That you’re in love with Armin, who is miles better than your current boy toy, so you should ask him out immediately.”
“I have a boyfriend, not a boy toy.”
“Ah ha!” he yells, “You didn’t deny that you’re in love with him—oh my god, you’re in love with Armin!”
He’s standing now, practically bouncing off the the walls at the revelation. You take to smacking him with the nearest pillow. “I’m not in love with him! I just—just really like him, okay!”
“Very convincing.”
“Shut the hell up, you’ve been pining after you know who for seven eons at this point.”
“You bitch,” he growls, “We’re not supposed to bring him up.”
“Well, you keep bringing up Armin!”
“We never established that Armin was on the list of he’s who shall not be named.”
“Well I vote that he should be.”
“Your vote has been vetoed,” he grins, “Look, I’m completely serious when I say that Armin is just as in love with you as you deny you are with him.”
“That sentence hurt my head,” you pout, resuming your signature brooding position.
“It’s okay, your single brain cell has been through a lot in the past fifteen minutes,” he pats your head again, earning him a glare that he simply chuckles at, “All it means is that you love Armin, and I assure you that he’s equally, if not more, in love with you.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so. Now, up, up, up,” he tuts, pulling at your biceps until you’re standing, only to immediately start ushering you to the door, “You have a shitty boyfriend to go break up with.”
“What—Jean, come on, I didn’t mean right now!” you exclaim; but he’s stronger than he looks, and continues to propel your body out of the open door.
“No time to waste!” he insists, “Every hour you stay with Colt you lose another brain cell.”
“I thought I only had one to begin with,” you say, sarcasm evident in your tone.
It makes Jean’s grin triple, “Exactly, so go, not another hour to waste!”
“Jean, wait, I—,” you begin, only to be silenced by the silver door shutting in your face. The lock clicks soon after, and it’s only then you realized what he’s done.
“You knobby kneed bitch, this is my apartment!”
#aot x reader#snk x reader#jean x reader#jean kirstein x reader#armin x reader#armin arlet x reader#jean smut#eren smut#armin smut#eren x reader#aot imagines#snk imagines
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reckless- b. barnes
pairings: bucky barnes x reader, platonic!sam wilson, platonic!natasha romanoff, platonic!steve rogers
warnings: mentions of injuries, descriptions of fighting, angry bucky, a horrible ending, i kind of really hate this
about: “the things i feel for her are unlike anything i’ve ever felt before.” for a sleepover!
i actually wrote another one with the same quote but i didn’t think it fit so i changed it (that one will be posted tomorrow or the day after so i can edit it)
you’re annoyingly reckless to a point where it gets dangerous.
he’s told you this a thousand times before but you don’t listen- aren’t listening at the moment.
he knows it’s ironic that he’s being reckless by not paying attention to what’s going on, too concentrated on you- even if you’ve told him countless times that you literally can’t die (to which he responds with a “you never know!” because, really do you?)- but he has a metal arm and sam, who’s been hovering around him like a vulture after noticing his lack of concentration.
before he can react to it, a slimy arm is promptly cut off by you, the blade you threw now back in your hands and stained green with the things’ blood. you scowl at it and shoot him a dirty look, “pay fucking attention!” you demand, shaking the weapon haphazardly to get the goo off. he can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth but rolls his eyes and obeys, knocking an ugly alien down and crushing its chest with his boot.
he can still hear your cocky remarks and giggles- yes, giggles, you giggle when you fight life threatening menaces- paired with the gross sounds of your knife impaling the aliens they’re fighting. it’s the only thing keeping him from practically babysitting you, a reassurance that you’re there, careless and impetuous, but alive and close.
suddenly, he can’t hear you, and he turns to what he quite possibly believes to be the most disgusting thing he’s seen in his life (and it’s been a long one, so far). you’re blue, covered in a slimy substance, and your face is so red, it’s beginning to look nearly purple with the cyan sheen over it. you screech abruptly, wiping at your face angrily and jumping at the thing that probably did that to you. he nearly feels pity for it. nearly, because, in your rage, you hadn’t even noticed the large gash along your shoulder. before he can go to you before you kill yourself, his metal arm feels like it’s being sucked, taking him with it, and he grunts. “what the fuck-” he manages, unsure of what he’s looking at, but trying to cut through the sticky arm attached to his own. you’re there in five seconds flat, still blue and still angry, which he notices makes the slicing through the appendage easier.
you seem to decide to stay with him after that, and he’s not sure if he’s offended because you don’t think he can take care of himself- which is ridiculous, since this only happened because he was taking care of you- or touched.
“god, i wish i had wanda’s powers. chaos magick works a lot faster than causing chaos,” you complain, trying to wipe away the blue sludge at the same time and wincing when it tugs at your injury. he is reminded of the shoulder wound he nearly got his arm ripped off for trying to warn you, and he stops your hand. “you’re bleeding, you should probably be a little more careful with this.” he motions to your arm, avoiding touching it.
you frown at him, “it’s fine, it’s just a little cut.” (it’s most certainly not a “little cut.”)
“y/n-”
you extend the hurt arm over him and flick your hands when you see an alien about to rip bucky’s head off, a grimace passing your face that he sees but you try to cover up anyways. “see? it hurts you, you need-”
“i just saved your life, would a hurt person be able to do that?” you cut him off, and he stares at you. noticing a green thing coming up behind you, he grabs your waist and moves you out of the way, shooting it with his gun and watching as it drops to the ground. “ow!” you protest, “you hurt my-” seeming to realize you’re about to prove him right, you shut up and roll your eyes. “you’re welcome,” bucky huffs, wiping away some of the blue stuff from your cheek.
your cheeks warm against his touch without your permission, and you turn away. bucky smirks at your reaction.
“shut up,” you grumble, extending your fingers and aiming at a group of the aliens ganging up on natasha. they freeze for the few seconds they’re under your control, and nat manages to take out two in the moment. the three left break out of the trance, turn to each other, and begin to fight. natasha makes eye contact with you in a form of thanks and starts to take the rest out. you hear a gun go off behind you and turn to see one of the things that sprayed you on the floor. bucky saved you again, great, it’s not like he’ll rub it in your face forever.
“you need to pay attention, what if i’m not here?” bucky scolds. “then never leave,” you flirt casually in response. with a few twirls of your finger, most of the aliens stop paying attention to your team and begin attacking their own teammates.
you don’t notice when one of the few unaffected beings picks up a discarded gun and shoots at you twice. bucky moves you away from a head shot, but one lands opposite to the bleeding slash on your shoulder, and the other hits your thigh.
“goddamnit, y/n, pay attention!” bucky growls, holding up your full weight when your adrenaline begins to run out and everything becomes blurry. “‘m fine,” you try to reassure, attempting to stand back on your wobbly legs. bucky doesn’t let you, shooting at as many aliens as he can with one gun. he turns to look at your state after he shoots most of them, allowing the others to take care of it while he tries to take care of you. his metal hand is touching the small device in his ear, telling the others the situation while his other arm holds you up. you might be delirious now, and your eyelids are becoming increasingly difficult to keep up. “hm, i’m not going to die, b’cky.” you tell him, noticing the increasing panic in his voice as he talks to steve. “stop saying that, how would you know if you haven’t died yet?”
his question is confusing for your foggy brain, so you decide to skip it, unknowingly making his worries worse. the blood running down your back isn’t stopping, and bucky stops for a second to lift you up completely, tucking his hand underneath your knees to carry you. at the tug at your thigh, you bite back a scream. bucky pretends not to notice; his hands are covered in a warm red. he’s trying his best to ignore it.
“don’t die,” bucky whispers again and again, making you frown, “how many times do i ‘ave to tell you i can’t die?”
“i’ll believe it when you don’t,” bucky mutters, and the blue sky turns to gray when he’s inside the quinjet. he sets you down on the medbay cot, looking lost as he calls out friday’s name. “yes, mister barnes?”
“y/n- uh-”
“do a scan on me and… and treat accordingly,” you interrupt. “scanning now,” friday obeys, and you turn to bucky. “by the time you figured it out i would have bled out.”
“that’s not funny, y/n,” bucky says seriously. you squeeze your eyes shut for a second, “calm down, i’ll be fine.” friday has enclosed you in some clear glass, red grids letting you know of your condition. “ooh, that’s bad,” you mumble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend. “what?” said boyfriend asks, and you wave him off as best you can- which means a pathetic bounce of your arm- and tell him to let friday do her thing. “we are not done here,” bucky instructs, but sits next to you and holds your hand. you can see his glossed eyes now, you wonder how you didn’t see them before.
“shouldn’t you be fighting?” you ask, a wave of exhaustion crashing over you. rest, your body begs. you’ll comply later. “they’re almost done, the chaos thing you did makes their job a lot easier.”
“‘s what i do,” you say breathily before falling asleep.
-
you’re still in the quinjet the next time you open your eyes, which lets you know it’s only been a few hours and you’re feeling better already. goddess healing, you think, looking around to see bucky’s hand still around yours. he looks worried, the hard lines usually softened by the sound of your voice as hard as you’ve ever seen them. you squeeze his fingers gently. “bucky,” you coo, “i’m not dying anymore.”
bucky turns to you immediately, squinting, “that’s not funny.” it’s like deja vu, but you’re not sure from where.
a vein on bucky’s neck throbs, and you’re aware that you’re pushing it, so you stop for a second, “i was just kidding, i-”
“no!-” bucky’s voice is near yelling, so he shuts his eyes for a moment, continuing in a lower voice, “you almost died, do you know how terrifying that is? you nearly bled out in my arms.” sam, nat and steve, who were waiting for you to wake up next to bucky, pause when he raises his voice. “bucky-” you start, softer now, trying to sit up. bucky stands, “listen to me!”
steve stands, beginning to put a hand on bucky’s shoulder, “buck-” he’s silenced with a cold look from bucky. sam gets to his feet too, telling steve and nat to give you both a minute. they do, after nat kisses your cheek like she always does when you get hurt. you’re sitting on the edge of the bed now, reaching for bucky, “bucky?”
“you don’t… you don’t know how much you scared me, y/n. you have to stop being so careless,” he says after a few seconds. you furrow your brows, “i’m not careless, i’m confident in my skills.”
“you are. you’re careless and reckless and hasty and i need you to not be,” he says harshly, you frown. “why? i’m fine and i’m always going to be-”
“you don’t- you don’t understand!-” bucky snaps. “then help me understand,” you implore. bucky closes his eyes tightly again, breathing in slowly. “the things... that i feel for you are unlike anything i have ever felt before, and i can’t- i can’t lose you, okay?”
“you’re not going to,” you assure, extending your arms towards him, noting the tiny ache in response. he walks over to you, letting you grab his jaw when he’s close, you run your fingers over his cheeks gently. “i’ll be more careful,” you promise. bucky nods, tucking his face into the dip of your neck. you run your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, letting him squeeze your waist almost to reassure himself you’re actually there.
“hey,” you say quietly after a few moments, pressing tender kisses to bucky’s cheek, “sit down, i want to do something.” you stand, grabbing onto bucky’s arm when you stumble a little and promise him you’re fine and are taking it easy. you take out the first aid kit from one of the cabinets, setting it down next to bucky, opening it and taking out everything you need. you begin to clean his cuts, putting a pink hello kitty bandaid over one of his particularly bad ones. it’ll be gone within a day, but you can’t resist, and it makes him laugh.
you hum while you dab at a small scratch next to his eye, and he chuckles lowly, you look up at him, “what?”
“you’re still a little blue.”
#kelly's one year wc#buchanan barnes#bucky fic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you fluff#bucky barnes x you angst#sleepover#bucky barnes x reader fluff#avengers#marvel#marvel x you#avengers x reader#avengers x you#avengers fluff#avenger!reader#avengers fic#bucky barnes x avenger!reader#sad bucky barnes x reader#platonic!sam wilson x reader#platonic!natasha romanoff x reader#platonic!steve rogers x reader
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collab masterlist
✧ pairing: villain!hawks x afab!reader
✧ word count: 5k
✧ warnings: this is like all smut, angst, ambiguous but happy ending, unhealthy relationships, mentions of transactional sex, reader has a healing quirk but it's really just for poetic purposes, reader has a vagina, no other gendered parts, oral sex (reader receiving), vague metaphorical drug reference, mentions of blood, mentions of wounds, mating press, soft sex (?), sorta, slight potential could be read as dubcon but they're both into it
✧ summary: for years you've stitched hawks back together when the world has torn him to shreds—and he always pays you back, though you can't help but start want more than he can give you.
✧ a/n: hey y'all this months theme was villain/hero swap with a shared opener! please go check out all the other wonderful works in this collab, there are so many talented writers/artists involved!! credit to @/lady-bakuhoe for the amazing intro. also bonus points if you catch the old aesthetic tumblr post references.
Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcast rumours of villains running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. Road maintenance endeavour to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before.
Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city?
Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary.
One thing we know for sure: we can no longer rely on Heroes to protect us. The streets of our once-great city are no longer safe, we are no longer safe.
***
You can only touch him when he’s dying.
That fact is made even more horrifically apparent as he stumbles through your open window—and how long has it been since you’ve slept with it closed?—dripping with blood and panting from his flight.
The T.V. blares in the background, filling your tiny apartment with incessant ramblings that only grow louder by the day, and you already know what they’re going to say before they say it. Because you see him, before the reporters stumble upon heroes in the wreckage—you see what they do to him before they’re warning the public of dangerous villains loose in the streets.
They spout off about failing heroes but you think they’ve done a pretty damn good butchers job. Red feathers matted together, sticky and brown, fall in tufts from his back. You burn with shameful jealousy at the thought of those who would call themselves heroes having laid hands on what is yours.
He isn’t really yours and you know that, though you often wish you could be a bit more delusional. It might not hurt so much then.
They call him a villain. They call him a threat to society.
But even faced with the truth spilling from him and onto your creaking floors, it is easy to forget what a ruthless predator the man before you becomes when he leaves these four walls.
Especially as he falls forward on heavy feet straight into your arms, outstretched and waiting. There are stains on your shirt but you’ve known the secret for getting blood out of clothing for years now. Cold water for the fabric, warm to wash away the grime on his lovely skin.
“Gonna need you to fix me up again, sweetheart,” Hawks mumbles into your shoulder where his forehead rests.
His breathing is even more ragged now, not just from the flight.
“I know,” you reply and your hands shake when they find the gaping wound at his side—wide and deeper than the ones before. “I know. Can you walk?”
He doesn’t respond but that mop of golden hair shifts a bit as he slings an arm over your shoulder and rests his weight. You don’t need to direct him to your bedroom. This is an old game you’re playing and he knows the steps.
So do you.
Though, you’re never sure if it's dread that fills you and makes your stomach knot and your knees weak. Or if it’s that awful, momentary rush of excitement at the prospect of being able to run your fingers over him, bare and giving you free reign.
As long as he’s bleeding out on your floor.
Then you can feel him.
When he’s dying and needs you.
Needs you to fix him.
But won’t ever let you close enough to finish the job the way you want to.
You comfort yourself in with the knowledge that at least he lets you this close. At least those thin, silver-skin scars are the unmistakable mark of your healing hands. At least you’ll always haunt him like the red feather down that sticks to your pillows or between your floorboards.
So you strip him carefully and try not to let his sculpted chest distract you from the work. Hawks is silent, such a model patient as always. Only grunting when your fingers move to knit together the ragged edges of his flesh.
This will leave a nasty mark, you know it already. But you can’t find it in yourself to mourn the loss of that lovely skin.
It will only make it harder for him to forget you.
You’re knelt beside him, laid out on a towel you keep at the edge of the bed. Blood will soak through to the sheets regardless, but you try your best. He takes a sharp breath, white teeth catching the back of his hand between them to stifle groans.
You wish there was more pleasure to it. That he was biting back moans for you instead of trying not to scream as his flesh pulsed and grew hot while it was rebuilt under your fingertips. So you indulge, pretend your hands are elsewhere, roaming his perfect waistline and pulling whimpers from him.
Your dangerous, villainous, predator Hawks sprawled on his back, wings spread and cumming onto his chest under you.
The sounds above you change, and you know it hurts—must be excruciating as bone is set back into place—but you chose to believe it’s because he’s trying to keep himself from screaming your name as he reaches his release.
Hawks, you’d croon to him—Hawks because you don’t know his real name. Don’t know who he was before he started this underground life of crime on the fringes of a society that called him a monster and then turned him into one.
He isn’t a monster in your bed, though he may cry like one.
Cry as you mold his flesh and try not to look him in the face. Try to pretend they are an overflow of some better emotion. And when those summer wheat field eyes roll back in his head and those horrible pretty noises stop, you push past the growing ache in your limbs until the skin under your palms is smooth and no longer leaking thick, red blood.
And you do your best to resist the itch to feel more of him while he can’t stop you. Even with your fingers numb from overexertion, you can’t help but fall back on your heels and long for the feeling of his cheek in your hand, or his chest on your face.
But your part of the transaction is done.
And your permission doesn’t extend past these limits.
And it pains you to wish harm on him.
But it hurts even more when he does not need you.
So you sit and hate yourself and hope that those heroes with their disgusting philosophies get their shit together just a bit more. So you won’t lose your purpose. So he’ll keep coming through your window, permanently open through rainstorms and snow and spring heat.
Hawks’ breath evens slowly, and you stay still as a watched painting—no shifting eyes or moving limbs.
You crave these times like water or warm food—constant and instinctively.
And this is the only time you’ll ever have them, hands so filled with pinpricks of fried nerves that you can barely feel the soft, relaxed muscle beneath them.
What a tragedy.
What an injustice—
You can only touch him when he’s dying.
***
“Hmm,” he groans, sitting up and wincing as the new flesh protests under his movements.
“You should rest for a bit longer.”
Hawks looks at you, stretched next to him on the mattress—a purposeful few inches of space left between your bodies. It’s both selfish and practical advice.
But he isn’t here for that kind of help.
“You know I can’t just be sittin’ on my ass,” he quips, flashing you that eyes closed, wide smirk that sets your heart hammering in your chest. “Can’t have anyone tracing me back here.”
“Normally I’d agree,” you don’t find it in yourself to give the words any bite, “but you were just actively bleeding out a few minutes ago.”
“Sure, but that was a few minutes ago,” he winks and you can already feel the bed shifting as he moves to settle himself over your hips, one toned thigh on either side to bracket you against the bed. “Now, let me pay you back for all that hard work, yeah sweetheart?”
You wish the way he peered up through those long lashes, gold eyes honed in on you like a piece of meat on a hook, didn’t make your face burn this much.
It doesn’t mean anything to him.
Because this arrangement really is transactional—so you have to get something out of it too. At least, that’s what he tells himself, you think. He doesn’t know that those scant few moments you hold his life between your fingers is more than enough payment.
It’s been this way since the very first time you stumbled across him, half dead in an alley. But then you think it might have just been a ‘heat of the moment’ sort of thing that had just stuck.
You heal him and he makes you writhe on the sheets with his tongue and his hands, until you're fucked into unconscious bliss and he can slip away without your prying eyes watching him go.
But you still aren’t allowed to touch Hawks, even when he reaches into those deep parts of you and molds them to fit only him.
“You don’t—” you start to protest, partly because you want to believe you don’t want it and partly because you want to hear him insist that he does.
“Shh,” Hawks presses a calloused finger to your mouth and it takes every ounce of strength not to suck it past your lips. “I don’t like leaving my debts unpaid.”
That’s the end of your determination for the night. So you try to relax into his touch as slides your bottoms off and tosses them to the floor. Try not to clench up under those fingers that spread your legs. He doesn’t like it when you squirm away, when you flinch from his hands.
You want to think it’s because he hopes you aren’t afraid of him—of what he is—like the rest are, and not because he wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.
You want to.
But he’s so hard to read, and your mind is not often a kind place.
“Mm, god I’m always so hungry after you patch me up baby,” Hawks licks his lips as he stares down at you. “You won’t mind if I eat you right?”
You cringe at how fast your head shakes.
“Mm, course you wouldn’t.”
You can hear the smirk in his voice, and he’s right though you resent it a bit that he’s got you pegged so easily.
But you’re weak, you’re no villain, you’re no hero.
And so you’ll never be able to resist him. But, damn, did you wish you had a name to cry out. Then at the very least, you could keep a part of him with you too. Then you’d have some to moan on the nights he goes uninjured and you have to bring yourself to lonely release, only thinking of him.
Of those wings spread above you like a burning, red sunset, obscuring the rest of the world from view with his blinding light.
“Hawks…” you hiss instead as he shifts your legs over his shoulders and lays his tender chest on the sheets. “Please.”
“Yeah, yeah, what’s it gonna be tonight then?” he asks, breath ghosting over the damp folds between your thighs.
“Thought you said you were gonna use your tongue,” you whine, impatient now for any scrap of attention he’s willing to give.
“If that’s what you want,” he presses a kiss into the crease of your leg and hip, nipping the delicate skin so you whine again. “It’s whatever you want, you know that.”
It isn’t though.
It’s not whatever you want.
You can pick the position, you can ask for his mouth or his fingers, but even then, they won’t go past your neck. Your hands must stay firmly knotted in the comforter and away from him while he works. Cause he is working. This is part of the job to him, it's only in your fantasies that he’s doing it simply for the hell of it.
Hawks nudges your embarrassingly soaked slit with his nose and hums at you, “So is that what you want? Want me to eat your pretty pussy, yeah?”
“Yes—ngh,” you don’t get much in past the confirmation.
He’s a busy man.
He doesn’t have time for your stupid, romantic day dreams.
So he dives right in, and it’s enthusiastic enough that you can convince yourself he simply wants you that badly.
Hawks tongue licks a long strip from your hole to your clit and sucks the little bud past his plush lips. They’re a lovely, soft pink against your skin and they make a mess of you in seconds. He starts up an even rhythm, drawing circles into the nerves that sing and have heat building up in you only seconds after he’s started.
You hate that you love how well he knows your body.
You hate that you only know his when it’s shutting down.
“You taste so good, you know that?” he mumbles, lapping at you and kneading your thighs. “Could live down here just drinking you every fucking day.”
He doesn’t always talk like that but you’re happy he is now. It distracts you from the deep, ingrained urge to yank him by the hair and taste yourself on his lips.
“Makes me wish I’d let those damn heroes get hits in more often,” he’s back to panting and you keen at the sound. “Want my fingers too?”
“Fuck yes,” you don’t even bother hiding the desperation anymore.
He deserves the boost to his ego. You’d shower him with praise if he’d let you, bathe him in warm words and press them into his skin with your tongue.
But he doesn’t let you.
Hawks’ hand on your thigh trails slowly against the sensitive skin until he’s pulling back to run his fingers through your folds to ease the stretch a bit as he pushes two inside. He knows you can take what he gives to you, knows you love the way he fills you up.
Your tingling hands ache to grab his head and force his lips back as he sits for a moment, eyes glued on the space where his fingers disappear into your body. He groans low at the wet sounds your bodies make at their joining. Your legs shake where they rest on him, the one other point of contact he’s allowed. Those deadly soft feathers brush your calves as he curls his fingers up and waits expectantly for the strangled cry he pulls from you.
“There it is,” his voice is so much lower when he speaks now. “Can’t exactly show you the real ones, but how ‘bout you let me make you see some stars, huh?”
He asks so much of you. So much. So often.
In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever actively asked him for a thing he hadn’t already offered in the few years you’d known him. Hawks does it all—the taking and the giving and the demanding.
And you’re simply along for the ride, holding on for dear life lest he drop you, let you plummet like rock to the barren ground.
Still, you are mortal and you crave and you will take what you can get.
“Mhm,” you whimper when his deft fingers increase their pace, not thrusting but grinding mercilessly into that delicious spot inside.
“You wanna cum now, sweet thing?”
Then, true to his villainous nature, Hawks latches his lips back onto your clit, wracking your body with waves of truly sinful pleasure. His tongue draws quick, perfect circles across the bud just how you like. You’ll never know why it feels so much better when it’s him touching you.
How he knows exactly what you want.
Most of it.
Then his other hand is reaching around your hip, thumb taking over to press down where his tongue had been. Panting for the third time, his gorgeous head rests on your thigh and he stares dead on into your eyes. That predator yellow gaze pins you to the pillows better than any hand could and he licks across his lips while you watch, moaning as he tastes you there.
You groan deep and unabashedly at the sight.
“What is it?” he’s teasing you, unable to keep that part of his cruelty hidden even now. “What do you want?”
You shake your head and wish you could turn away, flop against the mattress and writhe but you can’t. You just can’t give up this moment that’s etching itself into your retinas—like you’re staring head on at an eclipse, celestial and short-lived.
“Tell me,” Hawks whispers, nipping at your thigh and working his fingers harder on you. “Whatever you want, you’ll get it.”
And maybe it’s the sudden heat of the room, or the little breeze from his wings spreading defensively to block you from view of his nonexistent audience—the outside world maybe? To keep you, this secret indulgence, hidden from their prying hands. Or quite possibly it’s just your own weakness at the feet of years and years of loving—because you do, you love him, it’s clear by now that’s what this is—this man whose name you don’t know and whose eyes never seem to leave you even when he’s gone.
Maybe you simply crack under the pressure of keeping this awful, looming silence for too long.
You feel your lips split at the seams and it all comes rushing out in a polluted flood—a stagnant river of secrets.
“Let me touch you,” you gasp and close your eyes then just so you won’t have to see that grin slip from his beautiful face. “Please Hawks, let me touch you. I can’t do it anymore, just—I need to kiss you, I need more.”
All this time he hadn’t let up on pulling pleasure from your skin, but he stops now, bringing your release to a screaming halt.
The quiet that follows—devoid of fast breaths and wet slapping—is suffocating.
You wish you regretted the outburst, the waste of years worth of work to keep him coming back.
But you don’t.
Of course you will in a minute, when he slips away and doesn’t return.
But now it just feels as though that boulder of secrecy has been lifted off your chest and you can finally take in lungfuls of sweet, unhindered night air.
It’s only after that dreadful minute has passed and there are still hands on you—buried in you—that you dare to open your eyes again.
Hawks is staring blankly, an expression you’ve never seen before, so stark from the usual quirk of his lips and tilt of his chin. Blank, but calculating. You can see the gears clanking as his thoughts rush a mile a minute, faster than he’d ever dream of soaring over the city skyline.
He blinks once, twice, then again and you can see the redness blooming at the corners as his eyes grow glassy between each flutter of lashes. And then, as though moving through honey, he draws back from you, only to crawl up your body until your noses touch.
You hold your breath, lip caught between your teeth, but his slicked thumb comes up to pull it out of your gnawing reach. He strokes across the puffy skin, never meeting your gaze, until he slowly, slowly leans down.
It’s not really a kiss, more of an accidental brush, so little of your lips touch you could easily have imagined it. When he speaks again, you can feel him forming the words against you.
“I—” he starts and licks his lips and yours and you don’t think it’s an accident, “I can’t.”
It isn’t what you want him to say, but it’s better than a silent loss .
You know truth when you hear it.
“I know.”
And you do, you do know, you’ve always known. He’s darker when he’s not with you. You’ve seen the carnage he leaves behind broadcasted on screens, but it’s never stopped the ache before.
He can’t keep you the way you want, can’t have things that get in the way.
You can only touch him when he’s dying. You can heal him, reform his flesh and bone—pull him back from the brink—but you’ll never feel his chest against yours or his hair slipping through your fingers or have all of him buried inside you. He’ll never love you like you want him to.
It doesn’t stop you from wishing.
And apparently, it doesn’t stop Hawks from kissing you anyway.
“I can’t,” he repeats and it sounds so broken you almost think that wound has reopened and he’s going to start slipping away again.
But the only thing that slips is his tongue past your lips and tangling with your own.
And then the levee breaks.
It’s a sudden torrent of hands and legs knotting together like the torn edges of too many injuries. Hawks covers every available part of you like an addict seeking his fix. It’s breathless and uncoordinated but you’ve never felt more alive, alight, aflame.
He presses his lips to yours again, pulling away and then diving back in. Frantic hands pull you off the mattress until your back is against the headboard and he’s straddling your lap. You take the opportunity to sink your fingers into that goldenrod hair and it’s just as silky as you’d imagined it to be.
Hawks moans into your mouth, kissing you wildly, like the beast he is with teeth clacking and your tongue sucked between his lips.
“I can’t,” he keeps mumbling, between groans and hips grinding and hands grabbing, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t— “
You wonder then which one of you he’s trying to convince.
But you don’t ask, just let your hands wander to the delicious curve of his ass on your thighs and squeeze, rolling his bulge against you. His fingers push and proud, ghosting across your chest and stopping to pinch your nipple. He drinks down the whimpers you let out, letting his lips wander your jaw and throat, sucking bruises—leaving his own scars on you—as he goes. He pushes you back down to the pillows so his lips can continue their work, latching onto the quickly hardening bud and suckling lightly. His groan sends little shockwaves through you and he looks up with brows furrowed like he’s in pain with how good it all feels.
“I’m sorry,” he says and it’s so soft you barely hear it between licks at your chest.
“No,” you finally find it in you to respond, shaking your head and pulling him back to your lips.
“I’m sorry,” he says again while you nip at his earlobe and down his jaw, tight pants yielding under your hands as they’re tugged away so he’s just as bare as you.
“No,” you shake your head and any response dies on his tongue as you dig your fingers into the feathers at the base of his wings and pull him forward.
Hawks lets out a choked gasp as his length, bare, hard, and leaking glides across your cunt. Any other time, you’d have liked to savor this moment. Get on your knees and worship his pretty cock—and you know it's pretty, just from your short glimpse. He’s long and perfectly thick, just how you dreamed he would be. The cute tuft of blond curls at his base is course in the best way as you trail your fingers through it to take him in your palm.
“Ahh,” he keens, arching above you with his head thrown back as you stroke him for the first time.
It’s been so long, you're not sure how you ever resisted this before. Not with how heavy and warm he is in your fist.
“Hawks,” you moan, sucking at the dip in his collarbone and moving to bite at his nipple. “Hawks, please.”
“I—” you think he might protest but you flick your thumb over the tip and it pours precum to help the slide of your fingers.
He’s already got those powerful arms hooked under your knees, all he has to do is lean forward and sink into that tight, awaiting heat, and he knows it. You can see the resolve cracking.
“Hawks,” you beg again. Because you are begging, that’s what this is.
And he looks at you, drool slipping from the corner of his mouth and brows all bunched up with his head shaking.
“Hawks.”
His hands grip the underside of your thighs and knock your hand from his dick.
“Hawks.”
His forehead comes down to rest against yours, eyes squeezed shut and red at the edges. You feel the sting at the corners as if they were your own.
“Hawks.”
You can only touch him when he’s dying.
Is he dying now?
Are you killing him?
“Hawks.”
His breath hitches, whatever he might have said is long gone when the head of his cock catches against your entrance.
“Hawks—”
He sinks in to the hilt all at once and the last utterance of his name is a yelp. Your walls clamp down hard around the intrusion, so much bigger than his fingers, so hot and long and thick as he pulses inside you.
There are no words after that.
No names, no refusals, just his face pressed up on yours as he pushes your thighs to your chest and rolls his hips, fucking you evenly into the mattress.
Not soft or slow or overly rough.
Though it is all of those things at once as well.
Hawks has always been full of contradictions. It makes sense that this is too.
Both your eyes stay open, lips brushing and sharing breath as he slips a hand back down to your clit and starts those perfect circles up again.
He doesn’t ask you questions now. Just stares in your eyes and sinks his cock into your over and over until you feel fuller, more complete than you ever have in the whole of your life.
There’s no warning leading up to the end. You feel the crest approaching, the coil waiting to snap low in your belly and you don’t dare take your eyes off his face. You need to commit the entirety of this moment to memory. Just in case.
Just in case it never happens again.
Or worse, it happens over and over until it doesn’t.
Until you run out of chances to touch him.
Until he comes to you too far gone.
“Oh fuck,” he mutters and that’s all the warning you get.
All the warning you have the strength to listen to as you tumble over the edge, waves of rolling pleasure burning under your skin. You clench hard around his cock as his hips stutter in their pace, thrusting unevenly as you gush and he spills rope after rope of hot release deep into you.
And you’d been wrong before, because this was full. This was whole, your stilling bodies pressed together at every point with his cock still hard and twitching as your walls milked him of cum that warmed you from the inside out.
This is what you would die for.
***
Later when you stumble into unwilling wakefulness, there are hands tucking a thin sheet over your bare skin.
Hawks has pulled himself from you after resting like you’d told him he should. He’s dressing, though not hurriedly, and you can’t find it in your jelly bones to move or stop him.
You’re both silent, even when he looks down to find your eyes alert and raking over him—costume donned and wings prepared for flight.
His face is drawn in a way that might have been resentment. Maybe towards you for breaking his resolve, maybe at himself for indulging in what he cannot have.
I can’t.
You hear the words as clear as though he’d just said them.
I can’t.
Can’t have you. Can’t forget his purpose. Can’t have gentle things.
Hawks is a villain, first and foremost, above all else and that includes you.
So you don’t move to stop him as he walks softly through your door. You just watch as he makes his way to the open window and perches on the ledge. He does look back, only briefly, to see you draped across the sheets, head resting on your arm and staring at him as he leaves you.
The ghost of that cheeky grin crawls its way onto his face before he tips backwards off the landing and into the night sky. He winks once before the indigo of the night swallows him like the maw of a leviathan. The city has teeth and it will chew him up and spit him back out into your arms soon enough.
So you’re content to wait.
You know this isn’t the last time. That he’ll come back to you as he’s always done. And offer you more and more of himself each time.
Because you can only touch him when he’s dying.
And this world is nothing if not determined to kill him.
So you can keep your purpose.
And by extension, you can keep him.
#hawks x reader#hawks x y/n#keigo takami x reader#villain!au#bnha fanfiction#tw blood#tw dubcon#hawks angst#hawks smut#bnha smut#mha smut#bee.writes
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My Home
Summary: You’ve loved Newt since you were both in school. He’s loved you back as well and will continue to love you even when you return from the war different.
Warnings: fluff, angst, ptsd
Reader: Male Slytherin Reader
Pairings: Newt Scamander x Male Reader
Word Count: 3,812
A/n: Enjoy
Masterlist
You had ambitions when you were growing up. You wanted to be important, you wanted to be rich. You wanted to capture the attention of every room you walked into. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your life living in the slums you had grown up in.
When you got your letter for Hogwarts you became excited. You were sorted into Slytherin, which didn’t surprise anybody who knew you.
You were as smart as you were ambitious. You knew if you were to have the life you envisioned then you had to do well in school. As your classmates tried out for Quidditch, you were studying Charms. As others went on dates, you were in the library.
You had a few friends but mainly kept to yourself. The last thing you wanted was to get attached to anybody and have them get in the way of your grand plan. But life hardly ever works out the way you want it.
Your friends had convinced you to take a day off from your studies to swim in the Black Lake. It was a beautiful day and you agreed. When your group was within rage, they hooted and hollered as they raced for the water. You smirk, rolling your eyes as they dove into the lake leaving you with the towels and shirts.
You moved closer to the water and tossed what you were carrying on the ground. Movement to your left, by the trees that were near the water, gained your attention. You saw two students sitting in the shade. You could barely make out their uniforms but noted that one was a Slytherin while the other was a Hufflepuff. An odd friendship but one that didn’t bother you like it bothered some of your other housemates.
You found yourself observing him them for longer than you intended. The girl merely spared your friend group a glance before looking back to what she was doing. The boy, however, was staring. It took you a moment to realize his gaze was toward your direction. When you realized this, a cocky smirk came to your lips.
Your fingers grabbed the the edges of your shirt. You pulled it off, stretching your muscles dramatically. You didn’t have the best body, especially compared to some of your friends, but as long as he was looking why not give him something to look at?
When your eyes went back to him, he was looking away. It disappointed you but you shrugged it off and joined your friends in the lake. You periodically glanced towards the two under the tree. The last time you looked, they were gone.
The next time you saw the boy under the tree was about a month later in the library. You were looking for a book when you stumbled into him as you went down another row. He was sitting at one of the tables. His head was in his notes and his eyebrows were frowned.
You found yourself staring at him again. He was so focused on what he was doing he didn’t even notice. Your eyes looked over his freckles, his blonde hair and his pale skin.
Unable to help yourself, you take a seat near him. He glances at you before looking down at his book. You bite back a smirk when his eyes quickly return to you. Then it becomes evident that he’s trying not to look at you.
You’re just about to get the courage to talk to him when his Slytherin friend comes around the corner. You inwardly curse yourself for taking too long but at least you heard her say his name.
Newt.
Once you had his name, it wasn’t hard for you to find out quite a bit about him. Apparently Newt was infamously known around Hogwarts for his love of magical creatures and his close friendship with Leta Lestrange. He was a few years younger than you but it didn’t bother you. You wanted to know him.
Getting him to talk to you was almost as difficult as it was for you to get him to be comfortable around you. It took you months to get him to be relaxed in your company. Took you a little longer for him to prefer your company to Leta’s.
You weren’t a big fan of Leta. She was selfish and wanted Newt to herself. You knew there was a part of her that cared for Newt but her ambition matched yours and not in a good way.
You hated that Newt was obviously in love with her when he should be in love with you. Newt had your attention the second you saw him by the lake. You wanted him and you were hoping to gain his favor but wasn’t expecting it to be this hard. However, anything worth having is worth working for.
Although, there has always been a little doubt that you’d never get Newt to look at you the way he stares at Leta. It was barely a decade into the 20th century. Same sex couples weren’t exactly welcome, even in the wizarding world. You didn’t let that stop you from trying.
“These are bowtukles?” You asked, grinning a bit bashfully when Newt was giving you his adorable amused look.
“Bowtruckle,” Newt corrected you. You continue to stare at his face even when he looks away.
“Bowtruckle,” You whisper, grinning when you see his cheeks redden. The reaction gives you hope that just maybe he’s into you.
“They erm... They eat insects and um... they’re shy,” Newt mumbles, avoiding your gaze as he explains what he knows about the creature crawling in your hand.
“No wonder they like you so much,” You tell him. “You’re one and the same,” Newt looks at you sheepishly. “You’re both shy but I don’t think you eat insects, at least I’ve never seen you eat them,”
“Heh, no,” Newt shakes his head, fiddling with his fingers.
“But you’re both adorable,” You blurt. This time, it’s you avoiding eye contact. You clear your throat and shift a bit awkwardly. You were smart, you were ambitious, but for the love of Merlin you could hardly flirt.
But like many things, even if you weren’t good at something it didn’t stop you from doing it. You were a bad singer but you still sang if it cheered Newt up when he was feeling down. You were horrible with creatures but you tried because Newt would always light up when he got to teach you something. You weren’t the greatest at romance but you still tried to woo Newt.
In your eyes, you were hardly making progress but Newt saw things differently. He may have been infatuated with Leta before he knew you but then you were the one capturing his attention. He looked forward to being around you. He wasn’t so anxious with you. If he was, it was a good anxious.
It wouldn’t be until your last year, his 5th year, did you finally get the courage to do something about your feelings for him.
You took him to Hogsmeade. It didn’t occur to Newt that this was a date until the end of the night. The whole time he thought the two of you were just hanging out and that you were being overly flirtatious.
Then you kissed him.
He was talking as you two were walking back to Hogwarts. A nervous ramble. One you would normally listen to but there was something else on your mind.
There was no-one around. He was being his adorable self and all you wanted to do was plant one on his lips. So, you did.
It was a quick peck. You pulled back just as quick as you moved in. It was enough, however, to gain his attention. You both stopped walking and he turned to you in a sort of daze. You gnawed on your lower lip and watched his expression carefully.
His face was completely red and he was looking everywhere else. You would have been scared he didn’t like it if it wasn’t for the smile threatening to rip his face in two.
You did a quick glance around to see if anybody was around before turning back to Newt when you were reassured the two of you were still alone. Slowly, you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck. His eyes snap back toward you. You steps closer to him.
“Tell me to stop,” You whispers, gently pressing your forehead on his. When he remains silent, you connect your lips on his once again. This time you go slowly. You smirk just a bit when his hands grab your jacket. You pull him closer, resting your other hand on his hip.
Technically, you two never became official but he was yours and you were his. Leta was the only one who knew about your relationship and you had not so kindly threatened her to keep it quiet. You weren’t about to allow her to use your relationship with Newt for her own gain. As much as you wished she would just stay away you knew you wouldn’t be able to get rid of her because Newt still cared about her.
Your happiness with Newt only lasted a few months until trouble came.
“It wasn’t your fault! Why are you taking the blame?” You growled, following Newt to the Hufflepuff common room.
“Leta doesn’t deserve to be expelled-”
“And you do?” You ask, raising your eyebrows. “Love, you had nothing to do with the accident, don’t take the blame.”
“It’s already done, there’s no taking it back,” Newt told you. “I’ll be alright,” He promises, glancing at you. “I’ll go live with mum and learn more about creatures. Maybe get a job at the ministry in a few years,” He shrugs. The two of you come to a stop just in front of the doorway. “They’re letting me keep my wand,” He mumbles looking on the bright side. You sighed, staring down at your boyfriend.
“You know, I can leave too,” You suggested. Newt’s eyes snap to yours. “I can go with you and we can go on those adventures you told me about. Discover some creature together,” Newt shakes his head, your smile falters.
“You’re too close to graduation to leave,” Newt says. “I’ll be fine on my own for a couple of months. Graduate then come find me... if you want,” He tells you. You sigh but don’t put up a fight knowing that graduating would help your future more than if you left with Newt now.
“Fine, but don’t miss me too much, yeah?” Newt returns to his sheepish self causing you to grin. Not caring if anyone saw, you grab his chin and direct his lips to yours. “I’ll find you on the other side handsome,”
When Newt left school grounds, you confronted Leta. You made it clear that she was to stay away from Newt and yourself. When she tried to talk back, things got a little more intense.
You hadn’t intended to send her to the medical wing, though you didn’t regret it. All you wanted was to scare her. You succeeded but also received detention for the remainder of your Hogwarts year.
When you graduated, you sought Newt out like you promised. The letters the two of you exchanged wasn’t enough, you wanted to be with him.
His mother welcomed you with open arms while his brother was more hesitant. One, he didn’t know what he thought about the two of you together, and two, he was being the protective older brother.
You stayed with the Scamander's instead of returning to your family home. Your home was on the other side of the country. Plus it was crowded because your entire family shared a little cottage. Newt’s mother allowed you to live with them because once you got a job you were able to help pay for things. You were given a separate room from Newt’s but that didn’t mean you two weren’t spending nights together.
“You should be more careful, love,” You muttered quietly as you tended to his wounded arm. One of the hippogriffs that he helped take care of had scratched up his arm.
“I’m fine,” Newt insisted.
“I should have become a doctor,” You mused. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to be the last time I patch you up,” Newt smiles a bit. By the time you were done, his arm was as good as new.
Being a doctor surely would have helped you with the ‘get rich’ part of your plan. But you had other ideas. You were in the process of starting your own business. It was slowly taking off and your name was beginning to spread throughout England. Both wizards and muggles were beginning to learn who you were.
However, you took a few lessons on simple medical procedures in order to help keep Newt in one piece. It paid off because as you predicted, Newt needed patching up more than once. You wouldn’t have thought that such a quiet man like him would get into so much mischief. All for the love of his creatures.
The two of you had a plan. Newt wanted to travel and do research. You wanted to travel and expand your growing business. Why not travel together? It was the perfect plan for the both of you until Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated.
You and Newt were sharing a bed a week after England declared war. Neither of you were talking. You were propped up against the wall with Newt’s back against your chest. Your arm was draped across his collarbones and his hand was cradling your forearm. Your other hand traced his bare stomach while his rested on your thigh.
You were leaving in the morning for training. Newt didn’t want you to go but you couldn’t sit this out. You were going to join the army while Newt fought the war his own way with the ministry.
“I love you, you know that?” You whisper in his ear. Your lips gently press against his head. He hums leaning back against you. You nuzzle your head in his neck and hold him tightly.
“You’ll come back to me,” Newt states, though his voice wavers. You flip your position so that he’s on his back and you’re hovering over him.
“You’re my home, Newt Scamander,” You tell him. “I’ll always come back to you,” You promise. He lifts his head and you lowers yours. Your lips connect as your body settles between his legs. You grind your hips into his earning a quiet moan from him.
In the morning, you left with Theseus. The two of you would serve in the same company. It was nice to know you would go through this with someone you knew. He may not have liked you at first but by the time the war came around, you two were friends.
“So, Thes... Have anyone waiting for you back home?” You asked, sitting in the muddy trench with him. You two were friends but that didn’t mean you talked about everything. By the time you moved in with Newt and their mother, Theseus had already moved out. He only visited here and there.
But now, you two were together every day. You had grown closer than you were before. Though, it’s not like you had much else to do during down time than to talk with him. He was from home, he was familiar. You were in a land unfamiliar fighting against unfamiliar people.
“You wouldn’t like her,” Theseus told you. You raised your eyebrow at him.
“I know her?” You ask, he nods. You continue to stare at him until he caves.
“Leta Lestrange,” He admits. You instantly groan. “She’s told me about you... You two have quite the history,”
“So, she can’t have Newt so she goes for the older brother,” You mutter under your breath.
“She’s not a whore,” He growls defensively. You bite back a sarcastic comment. Theseus lowers his gaze as he pulls out a picture of her. You glance at it before pulling out your own picture of Newt.
“Do you think we’ll make it out of this? Get back to them?” You ask, looking at him. Theseus meets your gaze.
“If we stick together? The Germans don’t stand a chance,” Theseus smirks. You soon begin to return the smirk.
After four years of being stuck in the mud in some other country you and Theseus finally returned home. Theseus returned to his lady love while you went to Newt. He was at the ministry when you returned. You visited him in his office.
“Wow, your own nook in the corner with a window,” You commented standing in the doorway. Newt’s head snaps up. “Hello, love,” You say, entering the room. You closed the door as he stood up and came to you.
When his arms wrapped around you you felt as if you were safe for the first time in four years. Your body sagged in against his but he held you close. You nuzzle your head into his neck seeking his comfort.
“You’re home,” He whispers. “You came back,”
“I’ll always come back to you,” You mutter into his neck.
When you finally pull away from him, Newt told his boss he was going home. Nobody argued with him. You both apparated back to his place. He had moved out of his mothers home a couple of years into the war but you didn’t care. All you wanted was to spend the night in his arms.
He laid on the bed with your head on his chest and your body between his legs. Your eyes stayed locked on the wall as his heart beat filled your ears. His fingers combed through your hair, lulling you to sleep.
While the little sleep you got was more than you had in four years, it wasn’t anywhere near peaceful. You may have left France but France followed you home. The bullets, the fighting, the artillery shells, the fucking smell, everything stayed with you.
You weren’t the only one suffering from the effects of the war. Your business suffered and your relationship became strained. You pushed Newt away, you pushed everyone away and fell into the bottle.
Although, no matter what you did, Newt never left. He took your mood swings, your anger, everything and stayed by your side. You didn’t deserve him.
After a couple of years of putting up with you, you finally ask Newt why he never left.
It was a rough night. You had been sleeping on the couch for a while because of bad nightmares. You didn’t want to keep Newt awake or hurt him in your thrashing. But tonight, you couldn’t get any sleep.
There was a storm raging outside. Thunder so loud the home was shaking. You were working on finishing a bottle of whiskey. When the lightning flashes and another round of thunder rolls, you flinch and let out a shaky breath.
You didn’t even realize that you were muttering to yourself. You were trying to remind yourself that you were home, in England. You were safe, not fighting in the trenches.
You didn’t even notice Newt observing you. He watched you clutch the glass of whiskey like a lifeline. He noticed you fidget. He knew you had struggled since you returned home but no matter what he did, you wouldn’t let him help you.
You were startled from your thoughts by the sound of a record playing. You look up to see Newt turning to you. You try to compose yourself. Newt had seen you at your worst, multiple times, but that didn’t mean you enjoyed showing him this side of you.
You wished you could go back to when you were both at Hogwarts, to a time before the war. You wanted to go back to when things were easy and effortless. You wanted to love Newt and give him everything he deserved not burden him.
When he held his hand out to you, you were tempted to grab a fuller bottle of whiskey and find another room to occupy. But as another round of thunder sounds, all you want to do is be in his arms. It’s the only place where you can be positive you’re safe.
You set the bottle down and take his hand. You stand and nuzzle into his neck. Your hand clings to his as your arm wraps around his back. He sways the two of you and hums in your ear.
“Why haven’t you left me?” You wonder out loud.
“I love you,” He whispers.
“I’m broken,” You tell him.
“Then I love every piece of you,” He mutters. “You’re my home as much as I’m yours,” He leans his head against yours trying to provide you as much comfort as he can. “I know I can’t take your pain and suffering away but maybe I can lessen it,” He whispers to you. “Just let me in... I can handle it. I can help carry whatever it is that’s weighing you down,”
“I don’t want to drag you down with me,” You say, starting to pull away but underestimate his strength. He holds you against him.
“I don’t care where you drag me, I just want to be with you. Let me in, please,” He begs, cupping your cheeks. “I love you and nothing will change that. I’ve stayed with you all these years because I want too and I’ll stay with you for the rest of our lives, even if you push me away. Don’t push me away anymore,”
“I’m sorry,” You whisper, pressing your head against his. “It’s just... my head’s so loud and...” You sigh. You hated talking about this but Newt deserved to have some kind of understanding. “Everything reminds me of the way... Even the fucking thunder,” You grumble.
“Then focus on me... when it gets too much,” Newt mutters.
“You hate attention,” You whisper.
“Not from you,” Newt counters. “I’ve always wanted your attention,” He tells you. You give him a small smile. “I was thinking about starting up my travels for that book I mentioned... I want you to come with me,”
“Are you sure?” You ask. “I can stay here-”
“I want you with me,” He tells you. “You can spread your business or just come along for the ride. Patch me up when I need you,” Your smile widens a bit. “IF things get too much, you can ride in my case,” You let out a small laugh.
“You still have that bloody case?” Newt blushes a bit and nods. “Alright, love... I’ll come with you,” Newt perks up and connects your lips quickly. You laugh before kissing him back. “You’re perfect, Newt Scamander, and I love you”
#newt scamander#newt x reader#newt scamander x reader#newt scamander x y/n#newt scamander x male!reader#newt x male!reader#x male!reader#x male reader#wizard#hogwarts#theseus scamander#leta lestrange#bowtruckle#war
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When Evil Doesn't Sleep
summary: Spencer has been gone far too long on a case and when he finally returns home, reader shows him just how much she missed him.
word count: 3.4k
warnings: smut, implied dom/sub undertones, pet names
Pairing: Spencer Reid/Female Reader
A/N: My first fic!!! I hope you all enjoy! <3
“Y/n I’m really sorry but it looks like the case is going to take a lot longer than we thought. We had a recent development and the profile is now pointing to a partnership so now we’re hunting down two unsubs”. You sighed as Spencer rattled off his apologies through the phone before putting him out of his misery “Spencer honey, you don’t have to apologize. Quit worrying about me and focus on catching the bad guys.”
To say you missed Spencer would be the understatement of the century. He had been in Utah for six days already and now with a pair of psychos your odds of finding him in your bed by the end of the week were growing increasingly slim. It didn’t help that you had been swamped prepping for an extra class you’d agreed to take on at Georgetown where you worked as a Criminal Psychology professor. Between both of your hectic work schedules you hadn’t had a real weekend to yourselves in a few months, and while you knew when you first started dating Spencer that it was an inevitable of his job, it had never been this crazy before. They say evil never sleeps but lately it hasn't even taken a catnap.
“I love you Y/N. I promise I’ll come home to you soon and take you out on a real date. I’m sorry darling, I have to go. I’ll text you when I get to the hotel tonight and if you’re still up we can talk for a bit okay?”. “Alright Spence, I love you too. Stay safe okay?”. “I promise, goodbye love.”
Your farewell barely made it past your lips when the dial tone cut you off and once again your boyfriend of three years vanished from your side of the country. You let out an exasperated sigh before reminding yourself that there were other people who needed his help and that you could wait for his attention - at least until that night. Continuing the trek up the stairs of your and spencer’s shared apartment, you managed to haphazardly balance your grocery bags in one hand while unlocking the door and disabling the security alarm, internally cringing at the high shriek that rattled through your brain.
Walking through the living room, you sat the bags on your kitchen counter and began reorganizing the small fridge space to fit all the perishables you had brought home, absentmindedly hoping they wouldn't spoil now that it would be just you for several more days. Moving to the cupboard you replaced the few grab and go snack boxes you had made up to try and encourage Spencer to eat more throughout the day and refilled the paper plate stash that quickly became a requirement after you realized neither one of you could tolerate doing dishes every night. You ripped open the cardboard packaging of yet another microwave dinner and set the timer before leaving to change into more comfortable attire.
Opening the door of your shared bedroom, the smell of vanilla wax melts and dryer sheets hit you like a brick and immediately sent a pang of loneliness through your chest. Spencer was usually around by the time the chores needed done, and you rarely had to do them yourself. Unfortunately, the laundry was piling up and you needed something to distract you so you spent the day running errands and cleaning the apartment more thoroughly than necessary. You walked over to the stack of black dresser drawers and pulled out the first pair of pajama pants you touched, Spencer’s old caltech sweats that now fit you far better than him considering he had received them when he was 14. They looked more like capris on him now and it was embarrassingly difficult to convince him to buy a new pair that fit him properly. You slipped on a tank top and pulled your hair back before making your way lazily to the bathroom to take off the remnants of your simple makeup.
After scrubbing your face clean and pulling your dinner out, you moved to ready the couch for yet another night of binge watching cheesy 90s movies. You selected Clueless and watched the vibrant colors pop across the screen while you dived into your meal, making a poor attempt to ignore the slight freezer burnt taste that lingered after every bite. You finished your dinner and set the bowl aside before covering yourself with a blanket and allowing yourself to sink into the cushions, desperately awaiting Spencer's text.
You were jolted out of your doze by the loud buzzing of your phone against the wooden coffee table. Clumsily you reached for it and managed to swipe the answer pad before it sent your genius to voicemail. “Hello?” you managed before a yawn ripped its way through you suddenly. “Hey Y/N, I’m sorry it’s so late. I didn't mean to wake you, I figured you’d still be up. You should go back to bed love.” For the first time, you noticed the neon green numbers on the microwave. 12:30. You stifled another yawn and shook your head in an effort to wake yourself further “No way, I just dozed off while watching a movie. I was waiting to talk to you. Besides, I’m up now anyways so you might as well stay on with me for a bit. Did you get any further today?” “Well, JJ had the idea that the partners were originally a typical dominant/submissive partnership but that something in the dynamic must have changed because the MO began to deteriorate. We think the partners must have split up now, because we’re finding similar pieces of the previous MO at separate crime scenes.”.
You processed the information he fed you slowly due to your semiconscious state but eventually you put your words in order well enough to respond. “That should be helpful though yeah? I mean, they’re used to working in a partnership so being suddenly separated from your other half so to speak would throw you off track quite a bit right?”. You could practically hear him smiling through the phone as you drew the conclusions the team had come to only a few hours prior. “Yes. We’re hoping to be able to draw them out and trap them. Play them against each other.”.”Does that mean I can stop sleeping on the couch soon?”. You heard him let out a dejected sigh - you knew he hated that you would force yourself onto the cramped couch when you had a king sized bed a few hundred feet away but he understood.
When he had come home in the early hours of the morning after an abrupt end to a case a few weeks after you had moved into his place, he had caught you curled up on the sofa with a throw pillow stuffed under your head. When he questioned you about it the next morning, you simply answered that the bed felt too big without him and that you couldn’t stand the empty feeling. “Sooner than later I hope my love. Y/N I really wish you wouldn’t do that to yourself. It’s horrible for your body. It can put you at a much higher risk for chronic back and neck pain as well as-”. “Spence. I’m not a giant like you are. I fit on the couch much better than you do, and I barely notice the difference.”. You both cringed, hearing the lie clear in your voice. Still, Spencer must have felt bad because he humored you. “If you're sure. What did you do today my love?”. You smiled sadly hearing in his voice just how desperate he was to escape from his reality and come home to you.
”Well, I straightened the house. In fact, it’s so clean i think we could use it as a sterilization room.”. He let out a soft chuckle and you could hear him begin to relax as you recounted the rest of your day, excluding the part about the microwave dinner. Spencer loved to tell you how many of the ingredients were one step away from processed garbage and you decided to opt out of the lecture for the evening. He had more than enough to worry about without having to focus on your diet while he was away. After a half hour of light conversation, a loud yawn betrayed you as you were excitedly discussing the cute puppy you had met on the way to the market. Spencer immediately requested that you hang up and get some more sleep but you refused. After a few minutes of bickering, you relented on the condition that he would read to you until you had fallen asleep. You curled up under the fluffy blanket as Spencer’s even voice recited the collection of Grimm’s fairy tales quickly lured you to sleep.
You woke up the next morning as sunlight peered through the curtains, stretching your body out to ease the aches from the previous night. You smiled softly as your screen lit up with a text from Spencer wishing you a good morning and an update that they had a solid plan for boxing in the two unsubs that afternoon. “If all goes to plan I should be carrying you to our bed before midnight tonight.”. Your smile widened and you sent back “Can’t wait to truly see you - and love you- tonight. I’ll be waiting.” You plugged your phone into the charger and straightened up from the night before when your phone went off again. The one word message glared at you from the screen and you let out an involuntary giggle. “Tease.”. You hoped it gave him something to look forward to until he was back in your arms. You sent back a simple “XO” before deciding to reread one of your favorite books for a few hours to kill some time. You made yourself a sandwich for lunch and had a few glasses of water as the clock slowly ticked by. You were over halfway through the lengthy novel when you received another message.
“We apprehended both unsubs. Hotch is postponing the paperwork until Monday so we can go straight home. I’ll see you in a few hours baby.”. You jumped slightly in celebration before finishing your current chapter, marking your place, and all but skipping to the shower to shave and exfoliate your skin. You knew Spencer would still be heavily worked up once he arrived home and luckily, his favorite release included intertwining your bodies as close as possible and loving you sweetly and slowly.
You took your time in the shower careful not to nick yourself with your razor. You scrubbed your scalp with your nails, letting your stress and soreness melt away under the steam. You waited until the water ran cold before turning the knob and stepping out, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel and blow drying your hair until it layed perfectly even. You applied lotion all over your skin and stepped out of the bathroom to slip on your black silk robe, knowing it wouldn’t be worth it to dress up further. Spencer would be desperate to feel your skin against his and any fabric in his way didn't stand much of a chance.
You made an actual meal for dinner, a pasta dish with chicken that could be easily reheated for Spencer when he grew hungry later in the night. You helped yourself to a serving and after quickly cleaning up the kitchen and storing the leftovers, you retreated to the bedroom to wait for his return.
You were half paying attention to the feed you opted to scroll through on your phone when you heard the door creak open and bags drop to the floor. You set your phone on the bedside table and ran towards the foyer, all but throwing yourself at the exhausted man in front of you. He took a step back from the impact but still enveloped you in his arms and pulled you impossibly tight into his chest. “Hi baby.” you whispered against the scruffy skin of his jawline, peppering kisses up towards his earlobe. He let out a long sigh of relief and picked you up off the hardwood floor, wrapping your thighs around his waist resulting in a high pitched giggle to erupt from your throat. He kissed you then, slowly at first but quickly building more passionate. Your lungs were burning when he finally allowed you to pull away, opting to kiss down your neck to your collarbones and the skin of your chest that was newly exposed as your robe slipped open.
He carefully made his way back to your room, continuing his kisses back up to your shoulder, stopping only to leave marks you knew would only grow darker as time passed. At the very least he was sure to only mark you in places you could cover with little difficulty. “I missed you so much Y/N. The entire ride home all I could think about was you waiting for me in our bed. My gorgeous girl.”. You felt your chest heat up at his words of admiration, wrapping your fingers into his curls and pulling his lips towards your own once more.
You felt him groan against you and moved to quickly unbutton his shirt, slipping it down his arms and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper. He pulled you up with him then, so you were both on your knees, chest to chest as he pulled your robe fully down your back to the swell of your ass where he grasped at you through the slick fabric. You let out a whine and you pulled his belt off, undoing his jeans desperate to continue. He grinned against your neck and pushed you down so you laid flat on your back, completely exposed to him. He kissed at your stomach, making his way down to your inner thighs. He licked a slow wet trail from your pelvic bone to the top of your clit as you whimpered desperately. “Spence, please… I need more”. He humored you, creating slow small circles with his tongue moaning at the taste. You cried out as he created the perfect amount of pressure on your clit, legs threatening to close around his head when he moved to slip one of his fingers easily inside you as the mix of your own wetness and his saliva aided him. He smirked as he felt your thighs flex before using his left hand to throw one of your legs over his shoulders at a time. He pushed a second finger in, curling them up to perfectly reach your g-spot with every thrust. Soon though, you grew impatient with just his fingers. You needed more and you knew just how to get it.
“I want you so bad Spence. I’ve waited for so long and I just can’t anymore. I need to feel you deep inside of me.”. You were positive those words would leave him just as needy as you were and he proved you right when he kicked his pants the rest of the way off and went to line himself up against you. “Wait.”. He stopped immediately, examining your face for any indication of what was wrong. “What’s the matter baby? Are you okay?”. You shook your head and smiled at his concern before switching your positions so his back was resting against the pillows as you straddle his thighs. He smirked at you as he caught on, trailing his hands up the front of your legs to rest at your hips. “You gonna ride me angel?”. You responded with an eager nod and he squeezed your hips, pulling you up further so you were hovering above him. “Sit pretty like my good girl then.”. You whined softly at his words before slowly sinking yourself down around his length, sucking in a harsh breath at the stretch. Even with how wet you were, the adjustment took longer than usual due to the dry spell you were both suffering from as of late.
When you finally felt stretched out enough to move, you slowly ground your hips forward flush against his. He groaned out, lifting you back up so you were almost completely off of him before pulling you back down. You moaned both at the sensation and the idea of being manhandled by the genius below you. You realized what he was asking though, and began bouncing yourself up and down his cock, stopping every few thrusts to grind your clit down on him. You let out soft moans, and after a few more minutes you felt his fingers dig deeper into your hips and his breaths quicken. You knew he was close and as if on cue you started rubbing fast circles against your clit as he spoke again.
“Baby girl I’m getting close. You gonna cum with me angel?” You nodded furiously in response and you felt him start thrusting up to meet you. You panted as you hurried towards the edge of your orgasm, holding on until his thrusts grew sloppier. “You ready to cum with me baby? You gonna cum on my cock?” “Yeah.. gonna cum all over your cock Doc.” You fought to keep the grin off your face when he moaned at the title. He thrusted deep into you twice, before he ordered your release. “I want you to cum now baby. Cum all over my cock.” You felt your orgasm rip through you, electricity shooting through your limbs. Spencer groaned loudly as you tightened around him before pulling you down deep and releasing inside you.
You both fought to catch your breath as you rode out your highs before you found yourself slumping against his chest, suddenly drained from your activities. You felt him chuckle at your drastic change in energy as he wrapped his arms around you again. “I know you just washed the bed sheets and we’re both sweaty but do you think a washcloth will suffice for tonight?”. You nodded against his chest before slowly lifting yourself up and off of him, rolling onto your back on the other side of the bed. Spencer swiftly made his way across the hall, returning to wipe you down gently with the warm fabric. You shivered as the cool air dried your skin, watching him move throughout your room.
He slipped on a fresh pair of boxers before tossing the washcloth in the hamper along with his previously discarded clothes. He hung your robe on the back of your bedroom door then flipped the light switch off before rejoining you in bed to slip under the blankets with you. You immediately curled up into his chest, sighing contently as the sound of his heartbeat filled your ears. You kissed his chest and whispered goodnight, drifting into your first real sleep since before he left.
The next morning you and Spencer went shopping after you successfully convinced him to upgrade to a smart phone with video call abilities. He had begun to shut down the idea as he always had before but after the mere suggestion of what it could do to better your late night hotel room chats he was the one pulling you towards the nearest phone shop. You smiled politely while Spencer took his sweet time weighing the pros and cons of each model, letting your mind drift to the first time it would come in handy. As you finally neared the checkout counter, you took Spencer's hand in your own and gave it a gentle squeeze. After running his card through the machine, the salesgirl gave him the small plastic bag and wished you both a good afternoon.
As you exited the shop, you looked up at him, nudging him to get his attention “What do you think of an app controlled vibrator?”. He stared at you incredulously for a few moments, almost stopping dead in his tracks. After recovering from the initial shock at the vulgarity of your suggestion, he shook his head with a soft smirk and nudged back against you. “Tease.” he called you once more. “That’s the reason you love me right?”. He pulled you into his side, kissing you softly. “One of many Y/N. One of many.”
#spencer reid#Spencer reid/reader#spencer reid/you#Spencer reid x reader#Spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds#cm#Spencer reid smut#smut#Spencer reid x you#Spencer reid fanfiction
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Yellow | Draco Malfoy
Hey lovelies, here’s another Draco. I don’t know why but right now he’s all I have the motivation to write for. I hope you don’t mind!
Description: Y/n and Draco falling in love with the color yellow and each other
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff!Reader
Warnings: It’s a little angsty, a little smutty, very fluffy, and way too long
Word count: 6k
Tags: FLUFF, angst at times, the ending hints at smut
Tag list: @fashionably-crying , @draconisxcaput
Yes, I’m using this gif again, sue me
Yellow. Sunshine, flowers, freshly pressed gold. Everything that’s eternally happy and pure and good.
Yellow. Sickness, potions gone bad, poison. Bile when there’s nothing left to throw up.
Yellow. Kissing, and fighting, and doing. The color of life itself.
The color of the pumpkins growing in Professor Sprout’s greenhouse and of her nails as she writes notes on information long ingrained in her memory.
“Can anyone tell me the name for what is in front of you all right now?” Professor Sprout’s jolly voice rings through the greenhouse and you can’t help but smile as you raise your hand.
Sprout nods at you, a smile on her face too, knowing quite well that you’ll tell her what she wanted to hear and more.
“It’s a cucurbita pepo, also known as a pumpkin. They’re grown during the summer months and then harvested in autumn, just in time for the muggle celebration of Halloween. They are used in cooking quite often however they are rich in tryptophan, which is converted to serotonin upon consumption, which in turn causes fatigue. Thus cucurbita pepo seeds are used in certain forms of the sleeping draught potion. It’s also why we get sleepy after eating pumpkin pie.”
You giggle at the end of your spiel and the sound trickles through the greenhouse and wraps around a certain blonde at the back of the class who is furiously writing down everything you just said. You don’t notice, though, you’re too busy revelling in Sprout’s approving nod. She begins speaking in depth about the facts you shared and you hurry to write them in your journal, the one that you keep specifically for herbology. It’s filled with plants of all kinds, each with detailed notes and sketches that you drew yourself.
When you flip to your page on pumpkins you begin adding notes you don’t have, just a few details here and there. You aren’t gifted in every subject, not like Hermione, but you are proud to admit that you excel in herbology and know that you will keep the notes you have been working on for many years to come. You brush your sunshine nails across the page as Sprout rattles on about the antioxidants and other nutrients found in Pumpkins. Vitamin A, magnesium, potassium. You already have it all written down.
“Those are well done,” you’re startled by a voice emanating from over your shoulder, “no wonder you’re so good at this class. Your notes are amazing.”
You’re shocked to find none other than Draco Malfoy standing behind you, towering over you and peering curiously at the sketches that you made of some pumpkins a few days earlier. You know the Hufflepuffs share this class with the Slytherins but usually your groups don’t mix. As in they never do. It’s well known throughout the school that Slytherins hate Hufflepuffs. A lot. So it’s only natural that you, one of the softest Hufflepuffs in the school, cower slightly in the presence of the prince of the Slytherins.
“Oh, um,” you shuffle closer to the table, putting some space between you and him, “thank you, Draco.”
His eyes widen when you say his name and the entire class goes silent. Even professor Sprout ducks her head, stopping her rambling and busying herself with watering a patch of sunflowers behind her. Regret immediately floods your system and you feel slightly sick. Every eye in the class is on you and him, waiting with bated breath to see what happens next. You almost expect him to slap you by the way everyone is acting. You curl into yourself, pulling your hands into your sleeves. You’re undeniably terrified.
What happens next though astounds everyone, most of all you. Draco doesn’t quite smile but his eyes crinkle at the corners and he reaches his hand out, curling his fingers around your shoulder gently. Your head springs up at the contact, fuzzy and spinning. What is he doing?
“You’re welcome, y/n.”
Your cheeks immediately heat at the sound of your name coming from his lips. Since when does he know who you are?
He lets go of your shoulder and looks around the greenhouse, as if noticing the eyes on the two of you for the first time, “what are you all staring at? Mind your own bloody business.”
And just like that the sound and bustle of the greenhouse returns to normal, if not a little more forced and with a few more whispers than before. He nods at you, your entire face burning this time, and walks back to his spot, falling into conversation with his housemates like nothing had happened.
You run a hand through your hair before returning to your notes, trying to fend off the peppermint scent still clinging to your jumper.
The color of the potion that earns his house ten extra points.
You have never been good at potions class. You can try to blame it on Professor Snape, claim that he has it out for you and is the reason all your potions bubble a puke green and smell of death, but that would just be avoiding the truth. The horrible, disheartening, and cruel truth that is, quite simply, that you are absolute garbage at brewing potions.
Draco, on the other hand, is the best chemist Hogwarts has seen in years it seems. Even better than local witch prodigy Hermione Granger. Again, you could blame it on your professor. You could argue that since Snape was also a Slytherin that he gives special favor to Draco. But that wouldn’t be fair to him.
You pout from your seat in potions class, watching the clock tick too slowly and too quickly at the same time. It’s much too slow given that this is your last class of the day and dinner is calling your name. It is, however, much too quick as you only have forty minutes left to complete the dreaded invisibility potion. In front of you lay the ingredients, taunting you relentlessly. The invisibility potion is among one of the more difficult potions you have to master before the end of year exam and, so far, you’ve had no luck.
“Well done, Mr. Malfoy. This is the fifth time you’ve completed your potion first and without error. ten points,” at the sound of Snape’s voice, and the cheering from Draco’s housemates, your head slumps, “perhaps now in your spare time you could help Miss. y/l/n. She seems to be having,” he clicks his tongue sharply, “difficulty.”
Your head snaps up, turning to face the blonde boy across the room, your cheeks fiery. His blue eyes, in turn, are wide, much like your own. You’re a deer caught in the headlights of the freight train that is Draco Malfoy. You’re frozen at the thought of having to speak to him and of having him answer you. As he starts to get up, textbooks in tow, you finally thaw. You think back to the greenhouse, and his hand on your shoulder, and feel the color draining from your face.
“Professor that isn’t necessary, I can-”
Snape silences you with a flick of his wrist, “you can fail on your own instead of take help when it’s offered?”
You just lower your head, mumbling a “no, sir” and pretending to search your textbook. Your heartbeat skyrockets as the blonde boy joins you. He places his own textbook next to yours, his long fingers skimming the pages. Your eyes are drawn to the rings on his fingers and you want to ask him about them but the two of you aren’t close like that and you don’t want to make it more awkward than it already is. The same peppermint scent floats around you, stronger this time. You swallow tensely, feeling once more the eyes of your peers.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble more into your cauldron than to him, “I know you don’t want to help me. You can just pretend if you want and I’ll figure out this mess myself.”
You stare at the bubbling, black potion and hold back the nausea. It is very much not the sunshine yellow that it’s supposed to be. You sigh and tuck your hair behind your ears. You begin crushing chameleon scales in silence. You can feel his stare on the side of your face, searing into your cheekbone. You do your best to stay focussed but you can barely concentrate under the weight of his gaze. Being this close to the Slytherin boy still makes you nervous. What kind of nervousness, that is though, you aren’t so sure.
You’re startled when he takes the ingredients from your hands, his fingers brushing yours lightly, “I never said I didn’t want to help you.”
You look up at him, meeting his eyes and giving him a soft smile, one that makes his eyes widen and his fingers clench. That’s all it takes for the two of you to begin fixing your botched potion. You work side by side, silently except for when he asks you to hand him some ingredients. It’s hypnotic, watching him take what you ruined and make it all better. You feel almost special for a moment before you shake your head slightly, clearing the silly thought. You don’t notice him watching you from the corner of his eye, his lips slightly turned as he notes how flustered you are.
By the end of the class your potion is it’s proper sunshine yellow again and you feel entirely relieved. Although you can’t help but worry about tomorrow's class and how you’ll have to do it all over again.
As if reading your mind Draco turns to you, his hand on your book preventing you from darting away, “do you want to be partners?”
Oh boy.
The color of the scarf she wraps around him when she finds him asleep in the courtyard.
It’s mid October and the days have already begun getting shorter. The air is crisp and stings your ears as you walk through the courtyard, admiring the changing leaves during your spare period. You’re the only person there, the chill in the air having deterred the other students from crowding the benches and tree stumps. You don’t mind. You needed a little bit of quiet today.
You’ve been a little out of it all week. Some Slytherins had been making your life a little hard, goading you in the hallways and talking loudly about you whenever you were in ear shot. You have no doubt that it’s about Draco helping you in potions. You don’t talk to him outside of class. Merlin, you barely speak to him in class. You just copy his notes and let him guide you through the potions. You definitely don’t deserve the torment but you can’t do anything about it so you’ve just been trying your best to ignore it.
You take a corner, rounding a rather large oak tree before you suddenly halt. You come inches away from a boy slumped against the base of the tree. His eyes are shut and soft snores fall from his gaped mouth. Upon further inspection, that is noting his green and silver jumper and white blonde hair, you realize that it’s Draco. Your pulse picks up as soon as you see him, your eyes taking in the school books scattered around him. He must have been studying, or trying to at least.
Your heart aches for him. You wonder what on earth could have possibly made him exhausted enough to fall asleep in the freezing courtyard. As if on cue, the wind picks up and you ring your hands together to create some heat. You move around him quickly, closing his textbooks and piling them next to his bag. You put the cap on his ink bottle and tuck his quill next to it and the books.
You step away from him. You don’t want him to wake up and have him find you hovering over him. For just a second, though, you admire how peaceful he looks while he’s sleeping. Usually his forehead is creased and his lips pursed. Right now, however, he’s relaxed. He looks his age for once: seventeen and alive. Alive, just asleep. You sigh as you look at the boy, wishing you could wrap your arms around him.
As you go to walk away, you take one last look at his face. Your heart pangs again at his rosy nose and cheeks. His ears are also a bright red, bitten from the cold and definitely painful. You don’t think before you act, you just take the grey and yellow scarf from around your neck and carefully wrap it around his. You make sure it covers his ears and nose, sofly pulling the ends to wrap around his hands as well.
You take one last look at him. You don’t know what comes over you but you lean down and press a soft kiss to his hair. He smells like green apples today and your heart aches more than ever.
The color of the first snitch he caught as captain and the color of her sweater from the front row.
It’s the first quidditch match of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and you’re more excited than you can say. There have been rumours spreading that Slytherin has a new captain and everyone has been dying to know who. They’ve kept it under wraps, no doubt wanting to stun Gryffindor during the match. The stands around you howl in anticipation, practically vibrating from all the voices speaking at once.
The wind whips around your ears, loud and bone chilling, and you think for a moment to the scarf you left with Draco. You blow in your hands, warming them before wrapping them around your ears. Hogwarts really needs to work on bettering the stands or at least accommodate them for the colder months.
You’re with a few of your friends, each one of you more high on adrenaline than the last. You stand in your bright yellow jumper at the front of the stands, gripping the railing and watching the field for any signs of movement. You’re more excited to see the Slytherin team than anyone else. Perhaps that’s because Draco has been on the team since second year and you now get to stare at him for an entire game, uninterrupted. You shake your head quickly. Where did that come from?
“Y/n, where’s your scarf? It’s freezing out here!” you turn to your best friend, Luna, and give her a small smile, your cheeks red but not from the cold.
Luna has a lion hat on her head and you can’t help but giggle. It’s definitely protecting her from the cold.
“Someone needed it more than I did,” you rub your hands together again.
She smiles at you like she knows you gave it to Draco but that would be impossible. She pulls you into her side, letting you share her body heat again. You speak a little about the upcoming match but ultimately end up doing more teeth chattering than talking. Soon there are trumpets blaring and you can’t stop yourself from leaning against the railing of the bleachers once more, your heart pounding in your chest.
Everyone holds their breath, the only sound throughout the stadium is the howling wind. Your head pounds, not from a headache but from the blood rushing through your body, electrified. You grip the railing right, the cold of the metal stinging your fingertips. The hairs on the back of your neck raise instinctively. They’re so close, you can feel it in your bones.
You blink and the next thing you know the sky is streaked with green, smoke billowing around the players who fly in a tight ‘V’ formation. You squint your eyes, just like every other student and professor around you, trying to make out who is leading the pack. When you catch a glimpse of his white blonde hair your mouth drops. Before you can register what’s happening, you’re cheering like mad. The wind picks up your hair, whipping it around your face as you throw your hands up and scream like you don’t have a care in the world for what anybody else thinks of you. And you don’t, not right now while the boy you think you’re falling for has just been announced as the new Slytherin captain.
Before you know it Luna has joined in, screaming with you, not for the sake of Draco but because you look like you’re having fun for the first time in weeks. She grabs your hand, waving your arms in the air and shouting into the wind. With the two of you screaming together it’s just enough for Draco to hear over the wind. He turns his head, his eyes easily pulling your yellow jumper from the sea of blue around you. He smirks and your heart stops. Before you can even begin to process the glint in his eyes he’s in front of you, hovering over the railing on a broom that looks like it costs more than your life. He’s biting back a cheeky smile.
You let go of Luna’s hand, stepping towards him, “Draco, you made captain!”
You don’t know where you gained the sudden courage to talk to him like you’re friends but right now you don’t care. All you can see is the boy on the broom, smiling at you like you’ve never seen him smile before. The stands around you roar but you can’t hear them. They don’t exist, not right now at least.
“You know it, pumpkin,” your heart stops, you mouth gaping at his casual use of a nickname, and he laughs, a real and absolutely mind melting laugh, “I can’t stay but I got something for you. I noticed you look a little chilly.”
He pulls the green and silver scarf from around his neck, wrapping it around yours but keeping hold of the two ends. The stands fall silent but it doesn’t matter, you still can’t see or hear anything but Draco. He tugs on the ends of the scarf, bringing your face inches away from his own. You almost think he’s going to kiss you for a moment. Oh, what you wouldn’t give for him to kiss you right now. Anything, you would give absolutely anything. Instead, though, he leans down and rubs his nose against yours and you giggle easily.
He lets go of the scarf, flying off to start the game but not before turning around and shouting, “wish me luck, pumpkin!”
You giggle again, your face flushing, “you don’t need luck, Draco!”
He winks and flies to meet his teammates. The game is fast paced and intense. Your eyes stay glued to him the entire time. His nickname wraps around every part of you, his voice echoing in your ears, warming you better than any scarf. You aren’t at all surprised when he catches the golden snitch. No one in the stands cheers louder than you do.
The color of the bruises on his cheekbone and his knuckles and on Zabini’s fucking stomach.
Your back is pressed against the stoney wall of the castle, his chest almost touching yours. You’re backed into the corner, not daring to even breathe. His breath is hot on your face and you cringe backwards, your head cracking against the hard surface behind you.
Blaise Zabini pushes you closer to the wall, if that’s even possible, and you feel like an animal, trapped and frantic, “who do you think you are, puff?”
“I-,” you glance around his head, looking anywhere but his murderous eyes, “what are you talking about?”
That is clearly not the answer he is looking for, practically growling in your face, “what did you do to Malfoy?”
“Nothing!” you cower away from him, your blood turning cold at his accusatory tone.
You squeeze your eyes shut. If he’s going to hit you, you don’t want to see his fists before they land on you. Tears drip down your face relentlessly and you don’t care. They aren’t going to change anything. Blaise Zabini hates you and there is nothing you can do about it. Your mind goes immediately to Draco, something that doesn’t shock you anymore. All you think about these days is him.
Blaise’s breath smells like liquorice and death as he gets up in your face, “stay away from him, y/l/n, or you’ll regret it. I promise you that.”
Just like that, Blaise isn’t touching you anymore. The cold air of the castle wraps around you and you snap your eyes open, watching his retreating form stalk out of the hidden hallway he dragged you into. You sag against the brick behind you, finally letting the full on sobs that you had been holding in rise to the surface. You collapse, sliding down the stone, not caring as it scrapes and rips your shirt as you do so. You curl into a ball, letting all the pain from the last few weeks consume you.
You get lost in the memories. You see Pansy pushing you down the steps outside of the great hall and Crabbe lacing your soup with a puking potion. You hear all the insults and slurs that have been thrown at you ever since Draco complimented you in the greenhouse and it stings. Your chest and throat and wrists burn and you grip your hair in your fists, hoping that if you just tug hard enough then you can make every bad word said to you and every bruise disappear. Of course you can’t, but if you don’t try then you might lose yourself right here, right now. Well, more than you already are that is.
No matter how hard you tug, you can’t stop the cries from spilling out of your mouth. They mask the footsteps pounding towards you. You slam your fists into the marble floor repeatedly, your palms bruising. Your blood rushes through your ears, muffling the sounds of the castle and everyone in them. You hear your name being called but it sounds like whoever is shouting is underwater. Are they shouting, though, or are you just losing your mind? You hear your name again and you scream. You just want the voices to stop. Please, someone make them stop.
Gentle hands grab your fists before you can do any more damage to yourself, pulling you into a chest and wrapping two strong arms around your shoulders, “y/n, what’s going on? What happened?”
Draco’s voice is panicked. That’s the only word for it. He sounds absolutely terrified. His voice soothes you for a moment but soon you’re pushing against his chest, Blaise’s words in your ears again. Your palms collide with his chest as you shove him with all strength you have. It isn’t enough. Of course you aren’t strong enough to knock away a quidditch captain. His green apple scent clings to you, wrapped in his arms, and you cry harder. You clutch his shirt in your hands now, clinging to him for dear life. You cry out his name and his heart shatters.
“Y/n please, pumpkin, tell me what happened,” he kisses your hair hard, like he’s hoping it’ll magically calm you down.
And it does, sort of, but only when he trails kisses down the sides of your face and along your cheekbones as well. His lips are like a gift from the heavens, working quickly and easily to draw your attention from your showdown with Blaise and place it on him, and him alone. Soon your sobs have stopped completely. You’re still crying but you can breathe and that’s more than you would have been able to do on your own. When you finally wrap your arms around his neck he stops, pulling his head back to look into your eyes.
You swallow hard when you see his face, more importantly the tears slowly trailing down his creamy skin, “I’m sorry, Draco, you shouldn’t have to see me this way.”
“Stop,” he shushes and runs his hand up and down your back, trying not to grimace when his fingers slide over the rips in your shirt, “I’m just glad I found you. Now tell me what happened so I can’t beat up whoever made you so upset.”
You want to chuckle, because you know he’s trying to make you feel better, but you can’t, because you also know that when you tell him he’ll probably push you away too. You tug your lip between your teeth, looking over his shoulder and then back at him. You squeeze your eyes shut, you can’t look at him while you say it. You can’t see his face when he drops you.
“I don’t think you want to beat up Blaise, Draco.”
He lets go of you. Of course he lets go of you. Your veins sting as the cold air rushes around you again. You clench your fingers into tight fists, your nails digging into your palms. Your throat aches, like you’ve been poisoned and the antidote is walking away. You open your eyes to Draco at the end of the hall, just about to turn the corner. You do your best to choke back the sobs again but you can’t and even if you could what would be the point? He clearly already thinks you’re pathetic so honestly why bother anymore? You need to just let it all out.
When you do though, cry that is, he stops, his shoulders and back going rigid as he listens. He turns quickly and his eyes widen when he sees you. You take a step back, gripping your shirt, or what’s left of it, and smoothing the material beneath your fingers, doing your best to keep it together. This was the final straw, the last kick to a foundation that has already been crumbling, and you’re just waiting for everything to come caving in now so it can take you with it.
You don’t realise that your eyes are closed until there are hands on your body and you’re forced to open them again, “Draco, what are you doing-”
He smashes his lips against yours, fast and hard and unrelenting. He tastes like peppermint and desperation and, by god, does it breathe a new life into you that you cling to. He pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, biting down exactly where you had. His hands tangle through your hair, tilting your head slightly and tugging. You can feel his rings against your scalp and it’s the epitome of bliss. You have to to grab his cloak to keep from falling over, your entire body clay in his hands. He pulls back, barely so but in any way it’s still too far.
His lips brush yours as he speaks, his fingers massaging your scalp slightly, “I’ll be back, pumpkin, I promise,” he kisses you hard one more time, “but I really need to go beat Zabini into next month now.”
The color of the fireplace they fall asleep beside on Christmas Eve.
Your dorm is dreadfully empty and you feel a little bit alone, even if it’s only for a week or so. Your parents are renovating the house and decided it was best if you spend the holidays in a place that isn’t covered in dust and smells like paint. You know it’s for the best, and that you more than likely would have been miserable, but the Hufflepuff common room just isn’t the same without it’s usual life.
You pull a sweater over your head, grabbing your notebook before heading out to breakfast. The corridors are empty and it’s eerie, the only other faces being the ones held in frames. They smile at you as you pass and you wave politely, hurrying to the great hall.
When you step through the grand doors you finally see some real people, but not many. You see Harry Potter and Ron Weasley at the Gryffindor table and a few familiar faces in the Ravenclaw section, but none you know enough to join. You sigh, tucking your hair behind your ears. This is going to be a long week. As you turn to the Hufflepuff table, however, your eyes skim over a familiar blonde head buried in today’s paper. Your heart races as you switch courses, heading straight to the Slytherin table and trying not to lose your nerve.
You round the table, walking up behind Draco and stopping quietly. Whatever he’s reading has his full attention because he has yet to notice you. You take the moment to play with him a little.
You lean down, resting your head on his shoulder and whispering, “broomstick stocks are up three percent. That’s good I hear.”
Draco drops the paper and you giggle as he turns his face to look at you, the shock mixing with something gentler in his blue eyes. He jumps out of his seat immediately, pulling you into his arms and burying his face in your shoulder. You wrap your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers through his hair and melting into his warmth. The worry you felt walking into the great hall disappears at his touch. You press your face to his neck like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
“Y/n, what are you doing here? I thought you went home,” he mumbles into your shoulder, his lips brushing your sensitive skin.
You hold back the shiver. It takes all your willpower to not tilt your head and give him better access to your sweetest spot. You tighten your hands instinctively, forgetting they’re wrapped in his hair. You don’t mean to tug on the strands, and you almost feel bad about it, but at the noise that leaves his lips you almost do it again. It’s low and primal and, Merlin, you want to hear it again. His arms tighten around you and all the nerves in your body are painfully aware of every place his body meets yours.
And every place you wish it is but it isn’t.
You clear your throat lightly before you speak, clearing the lump but doing nothing to make your words any less breathy, “I could ask you the same thing, don’t your parents usually hold large parties during the holidays?”
His hands find your hips as you talk and the end of your sentence comes out as a mere whisper. You squeeze your eyes tighter, his touch driving you crazy in the middle of the damn dining hall. It’s not even ten yet!
“That’s exactly the reason I stayed,” his voice is strained, his hands squeeze your hips and you barely bite back the moan between your teeth, “however, pumpkin, now I see that it’s a fucking gift from Salazar himself that I did.”
You lift your head from his shoulder and meet his eyes, gasping at the sight. His pupils are blown wide and his lip is between his teeth. His hair is mused from your fingers running through it, pulling it, and it makes you want to do it again and again until he does something other than look at you like that. Like he's a starved lion and you’re his next meal. Or maybe you just want to tug until he does something about it.
He squeezes your hips again, harder than the last time, and this time you can’t hold back your moan. It’s quiet, thank Merlin, but he hears it. It wraps around him, like your scarf, and something in him snaps. Soon he’s dragging you into the hallway and you’re tripping on your feet trying to keep up with him. The few people in the great hall openly stare but, as has become your new norm, you don’t care. All you can think about is Draco and all the possibilities of where he could be taking you.
He drags you to an area of the castle you’ve never been to before: the dungeons. Your blood pumps quickly through your veins and you’re filled with adrenaline, each step feeling more like walking on a cloud than the last. His hand in yours is warm and strong, sure of himself and of you and, most importantly, that you want him. He looks at you over his shoulder, smirking at you in a way that makes you almost push him quicker down the halls. You glance around, noting the empty corridor. What is it people always say?
Fuck it.
You stop abruptly and he looks back at you again, only this time concerned. His expression doesn’t last though, probably because you push him against the wall and pull his lips to yours. You have to stand on your tiptoes to reach his face, your palms splayed against his flushed cheeks as you take your turn in pulling his lip between your teeth. You bite down gently and he moans into your mouth, a deep and masculine sound that makes you want to rip his clothes off right here in the middle of the hall. You press your body against his, needing to feel as much of him as you can get. Of course it isn’t enough. It never is.
He pushes back against you, clearly having enough of his passive position. He flips the two of you, pressing you deliciously into the stone behind you. His hands glide along your hips but, unlike in the great hall, they don’t stop there. No, Draco’s hands find your bare thighs and his fingers wrap around them, the cold metal of the rings biting into your soft flesh. You say a silent prayer to whoever up there was looking out for you enough to sway you to put a skirt on this morning.
His lips are still on yours and, when he all of a sudden lifts you and presses you harder against the wall with his hips, he swallows the moan that rips from your chest, matching it with an equally fierce groan. For the first time all morning he’s exactly where you need him and it’s absolutely breathtaking. You squeeze your legs around him, pulling him as close to you as you can get him. He doesn’t protest, rolling his hips against you and edging your vision with stars.
“Draco, common room. Now,” even as you say it your hands are on his shirt, already working at undoing it.
He wastes no time, rushing down the stairs with you still in his arms, still working on the buttons. He breathlessly murmurs the password before pushing through the door. You grab his face again, hungrily pulling his mouth to yours again as he sets you on a table. His hands find the hem of your jumper, ripping it over your head before tossing it aside. You finish opening the last button quickly, pulling his shirt from his shoulders and dropping it as well. You don’t think twice about letting it hit the ground.
You look back to him and feel breathless, the wild look in his eyes mixing with something so heart wrenchingly soft. His hands smooth up your exposed back, igniting your skin with a fire you’ve never felt before. He leans his face into your neck again, his lips finding where your shoulder and neck meet and pulling your skin between his teeth. The only thing you can think to push past your lips is his name, crying out into the room lit only by some embers in the grand fireplace.
“What do you want, pumpkin. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”
You push him back slightly so you can look into his mesmerising eyes, “I want you to make love to me on every surface in this room.”
And he does just that.
Yellow. The color they fell madly in love to.
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In the Stars (Cp.7)
In the Stars Masterlist
Description: Harper doesn't want any pilot near her, at least as far as possible. But that's really difficult when you work around them. She has managed to keep her “no pilots'' rule to date. That's until Bradley Bradshaw enters the Hard Deck like a great wave, destroying everything in his way and smashing all the walls Harper had built all this years ago.
Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x plus size!OC
Warnings: Mention of trauma, blood, crashes and sad stuff in general. There's some spice and mention of sex, but nothing too explicit. English is not my first language, so sorry in advance for any grammar or spelling errors.
Rating: Teens and up
Chapter: 7/11
Word Count: 2.418 words.
As soon as she arrived at the base that Monday, she was informed that the mission had accelerated by a week. The pilots would have a week less to prepare. And if those news weren’t bad enough, the morning only got worse a couple of hours later when her medical wing got crowded. In one of their simulations, Coyote, one of the pilots, had fainted in mid-flight from the stress of over nine Gs forces. Harper checked him to make sure he was okay, he really was, but the woman could not shake the horrible sensation out of her body, which only got worse when two more pilots arrived looking for her. Phoenix and Bob had had to eject from their plane when their two engines burst into flames. After letting Coyote go —to whom she recommended some rest if he became dizzy— she installed the other two pilots in the beds of her medical wing. They weren’t really hurt, some bruises and cratches, but she preferred to keep them under observation all night to be sure.
As soon as she finished examining them and asked them to rest, she left the room like a whirlwind, not caring that she was still in her white robe and the stethoscope hanging from her neck. She opened the door of the break room with a blow and stepped forward to Maverick, who turned to look at her, surprised.
“What were you thinking? This mission is stupid, a suicide! If you don’t value your life enough to protect it, you should at least avoid risking your pilots’ ” she shouted angrily, pointing her index finger at his chest. She was about to jump on him, trying to clear his ideas with her hands, but a pair of arms held her by the waist and took her away from the instructor. She was breathing deeply, so she soon noticed the musk of Bradley and the warmth of his arms and chest.
“It’s the only way, Harpie. The only way they can survive this mission. I’m thinking of my pilots” he asured, tensed, almost sad. Maverick knew exactly why she was this mad. “Belive me, if there was any other way, we’d try”
But that didn’t make Harper relax a bit. When the man left to go to see his pilots, who had stayed with the nurse, Bradley let her go. If she wasn’t so angry, Harper would have given more importance to the feeling of cold and nakedness her body felt once he was away.
“Are you okay?” he asked worried at the scene of the woman walking around the room, running her hands through her hair and grumbling under her breath every frew moments. He became even more worried when she raised her head to look at him and saw that her eyes were red and bright with tears that hadn’t fallen yet. Her nose had also acquired a reddish hue.
“This can’t be happening. When I was told about the accident I… It was like… I was there again, watching him fall…” But she couldn’t finish a sentence, which made her feel worst.
“Hey, hey. Calm down. Breath” he asked, reaching out to her and putting his hands on her shoulders, trying to bring her back to reality, remind her that everything was okay. “I’ve been told that Phoenix and Bob are fine, that they’re gonna be fine. You’ve seen them. You know I’m telling the truth”
“But not him. He’s not coming back. And I couldn’t do anything to save him” she whispered in sobs. Bradley drew her to his chest and hugged her tightly, letting her cry. He didn’t know what she was talking about, but they’d have time. Now he just had to calm her down, and to do that he had to let her cry.
Harper grabbed the fabric of Bradley’s jumpsuit tightly and buried her face in his chest so he wouldn’t see her cry. She’d been living with that ghost for years, fearing the day it would be strong enough it could drown her, it seemed that day had come.
When he stopped hearing her cry, Bradley parted gently, not letting go of her fully, and he lifted her face softly.
“You can tell me. It will do you good to talk about it” he whispered, brushing a lock of her chocolate hair out of her cheek, moistened by tears. Harper kept clinging to his jumpsuit tightly, as if she was afraid that something would take her if she didn’t hold on.
The brunette forced herself to open her fists and let him go. She ran her hand through her hair and looked away from him.
“I was fifteen. That day I had run from my history teacher to come to the break room with the pilots. My father was doing a simulation with his pilots and I liked coming here to see them. I was joking with one of them, assuring him I was gonna kick his ass at cards that afternoon, when I heard one of the pilots say on the radio that my father was flying too close to the ground. Then came the commotion. They all started running, but I was in shock, I didn’t undestand what was going on. It was Ava who explained it to me later. My father had tried to do a risky maneuver. He was so close to the ground that it didn’t give him time to eject. They couldn’t do anything to save him.“
Bradley approached her again and took her hand, knowing how hard those memories were. But she didn’t turn to look at him, her eyes were fixed on the radio, as if she was listening to that message again.
“I was only fifteen when i was orphaned, when all I got at the funeral was a folded flag and the pitiful looks of the people who lived with me and of people i didn’t even knew. And then Child Services came, saying they had to look for my next of kin to take care of me. The closest they found was a distant aunt, whom I had never seen, and who lived on the other side of the country.”
Bradley shook her hand unconsciously, imagining how hard it was for little Harper to undestand that she had lost everything and that they were going to take her away from the only thing she’d ever know in her life.
“Did you go to live with her?” he asked, not wanting her to shut on him now.
“Ava refused to let me go. She asked for my adoption and pulled all the strings she could. It seemed I had gotten the affection of many important people throughout my life in the base. So Ava got my custody and took me to live with her '' she finished, finally taking her eyes off the radio and towards their hands clasped. “That’s how my life turned upside down and at the same time remained the same as always. I was still surrounded by the same people, but was missing the most important of them, my father. That day i promised myself I would keep pilots out of my life as much as possible”
They stayed quiet for a moment, Harper remembering that day again and Bradley thinking of what to do or say now. He knew condolences didn’t do much, they were rehearsed words that did nothing to relieve the other person.
“Do you want me to walk you back to the medical wing?” he asked at the end. His classes were temporarily paused due to the accident, but her work had just begun. Harper nodded, so Bradley led the way through the base without letting go of her hand, turning occasionally to look at her. She seemed to be calming down.
It was the second time Bradley entered that room, but the previous time he didn’t paid too much attention to the decoration, he was way more interested in his new doctor, who also had served him a drink the night before. He looked at her desk, perfectly tidy, and the closet behind, full of folders. Next to the closet, however, he found the most striking thing about the room. The wall over the desk was full of photos. He approached there, full of curiosity, as Harper walked to the tap to pour herself a glass of water. All the images seemed to have been taken at the base, and the common factor was a smiling brunette girl growing up as his eyes went down the wall.
“Whats this? A wall of fame?” he asked with a small smile pointing at the collage. Harper let out a laugh that made him feel better.
“It’s my wall of fame” she answered walking back to him with her glass in hand. “They’re photos of me with people who have been in my life, whether temprary” she began, pointing out in general, at the pilots, “as more permanent” she added, this time pointing to a image in particular. A younger Harper was in it, dessed in military uniform with a diploma in her hand and a huge smile on her face. By her side was an old woman, who embraced her, cleary proud. Bradley assumed that was the famous Ava Williams, the former base doctor and Harper’s foster mother. He looked at the other photos out of curiosity. He recognized some of the pilots he had come across over the years he had spent on the Navy or some other he had seen in other photos, like Tom “Iceman” Kazansky or Vice Admiral Simpson himself. Bradley wasn’t surprised when he found Maverick in one of them. He had baby Harper in his arms, she couldn’t be over two years old, and the man was looking at the camera laughing like the little girl had done something funny. She had a blue blanket in one hand and a toy plane in the other.
He was indeed surprised to see the next two. The first one was of the girl standing up, still with her blanket and plane, but this time the pilot was crouching at her height and holding her by her chubby hips to keep her steady. He wasn’t even looking at the camera, all his attention was on the little girl, smiling fondly at her. The baby was turned in his direction and had the plane stuck to her chest as if she didn’t want it to fall while the other was up, pointing to the man’s moustache, as if it was really funny. The other photo wasn’t taken at the base, but in the Hard Deck. Bradley kew it was the bar because Harper was sitting on top of the piano he had played the night they had met. She was still two and next to her, also on the piano, was a four-year-old boy who was leaning back so he could sing at the top of his lungs while the girl laughed. He had his head covered by a cowboy hat that was too big for him. Bradley knew he was blonde without seeing his hair.
“No way” he murmured in surprise, drawing Harper’s attention, who looked at him confused as he peeled the photo off the wall. In doing so, the woman saw someting on the back of the image. It was her father’s neat handwriting on black marker:
Harper and Bradley
Hard Deck
1986
“Bradley…” she said, as surprised as him, aproaching his side to see the photograph from closer. It had been hanging on her wall for three years, she had put them there shortly after she started working at the base. A way to never forget her past. But there were too many photos, so many faces and names that she couldn’t remember them all. An idea went through her mind and she took off the previous photo, the one with the smiling blond man with a mustache. On the back she found another name and year:
Nick “Goose” Bradshaw. 1986.
“That’s my father” he confirmed. “They must have taken it shortly before his accident” he continued staring at the man’s face. “We were here. My mother and I. We came to see my father and Maverick while they were in the academy. I guess we should have gone to the Hard Deck with my family and your father and they took our picture” he added, although there was no way to confirm it, because none of the three remained alive.
Then something rose from the back of the pilot’s mind.
“It was you.. “ he whispered, reliving that day, the memory he though he had forgotten. It was blurry and had gaps, but it was real.
Bradley laughed amused as the two-year-old next to him moved her toy plane in front of her eyes. He had a similar one in his hand and repeated her action, doing maneuvers in the air. For the four-year-old boy, that was the most fun game in the world, to imagine it was his father’s plane, traveling the sky at full speed. But then the girl lowered her arm and her plane accidentally hit the ground. The baby lifted it up again as if nothing had happened.
“No, Harpie. If the plane crashes, it can no longer fly” he explained, still moving his.
“No vroom?” she asked confused, stirring over the blue blanket to get her plane higher.
“No vroom” he confirmed, feeling so much older having to explain those things to her. It was like when his dad explined to him how the TV or the piano keys worked. “You can’t crash” he added with a smile, proud to be able to show he also knew things that others didn’t. Then the door opened again and Bradley was even more excited to see his mother entering the room. “Mom! I’m showing Harper how planes work” he said still sitting on the floor next to the girl. But Carole’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. Little four-year-old Bradley knew something was wrong with his mother when she ducked down to his height with red eyes.
“I’m glad, honey” she said, although it didn’t seem that way.
“Are you okay, mom?” he asked worried.
The girl began to make noise, trying to imitate the sound of planes, and Bradley’s gaze turned to her, to see her continue flying through the air with her plane while his mother told him his father would never do it again.
Taglist:
@luckyladycreator2
@chaoticassidy
#top gun#top gun maverick#bradley rooster bradshaw#Bradley Bradshaw#Rooster#Rooster fic#bradley bradshaw fanfic#bradley bradshaw x oc
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Baby Mix → Baby Holland
The sequel to Baby Mix
Pairing: Little Mix member!reader x Tom Holland
Summary: The youngest member of Little Mix has something to reveal after not seeing the girls for months.
A/n: Set in Corona times, I know London lifted their lockdown restrictions for a while then initiated them again after. But anyway, this is set around that time when lockdown rules were lifted. I had so much fun writing this! I hope you all enjoy it🥰
You felt a rush of excitement and nervousness through your veins as you walked around your home, making sure every corner was clean. You entered the dining room and double checked each plate, checking to see if they all had the essential utensils, a napkin, and a wine glass. You trusted Tom to set up the table, but today was a big day and you wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
“Darling, you don’t need to triple check everything in the house. Nothing’s moved since the last you’ve looked at it.” Tom teases you as he enters the dining room from the kitchen. He wore a tight black shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with dark blue jeans. During the time in lockdown, his hair has grown out and he’s been working on his facial hair. You smiled at the 5 o’clock shadow that graced his face; it’s been known that he took forever to grow out facial hair, so to see that there was some light stubble on his face made him really happy. He was very proud of it.
“You look extremely hot right now.” You comment, meeting him in the middle of the room. His hands instantly place themselves at your waist, before one hand moves to rest on your growing stomach and the other on the small of your back.
“Is that the hormones talking?” He squints his eyes playfully at you. You gently shove him, only for him to pull you back closer into his chest. “No? I mean you always look good in whatever you wear. But it could possibly be the hormones?” You ramble.
Tom chuckles, his eyes gazing at you like you’re the only woman in the world. Well technically, you are the only woman in his world; besides his mum and grandma of course. But you were it for him, he wanted nobody else but you. Sure, you guys weren’t married, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t committed to you. The baby might’ve came before the wedding, but he will marry you one day.
“How are you feeling?” He asks you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Ever since the two of you have discovered you were pregnant, the morning sicknesses have gotten worse and worse. You were really hoping you’d be one of those lucky mothers who wouldn’t experience morning sickness, but with your luck it never happened. This morning you stumbled out the bed and into the toilet; today’s puke was probably the most horrible one this week, as gross as that sounds. Tom was behind you in an instant, tying your hair into a ponytail and rubbing soothing circles onto your back. It pained him to see you like this, he couldn’t do anything but hold your hair back, help you get your puke out, and whisper comforting things into your ear. He considered on canceling today’s event after you cleaned yourself up in the bathroom and snuggled back into the sheets, eyes red and puffy. Though when he mentioned on canceling, you declined immediately. You had both been anticipating today and you weren’t going to let some morning sickness postpone such a special event.
He looked at you concerned, scanning your face for any discomfort. Your lips quirk up to a fond smile as you kiss the worry away from him, “I’m doing much better than this morning, we’re both doing good.”
“That’s great, that’s all that matters to me right now.” He responds, pulling you into a hug. One thing you’ve noticed about Tom and your pregnancy was that he was very touchy and protective. Though he was already like that, it seemed like the pregnancy intensified his protectiveness, or just him in general. He was very alert of his surroundings, making sure everything was clean, that you were always comfortable, and that you weren’t experiencing any pain from the pregnancy. He was dedicated to making sure you were treated like a princess, you and your baby.
“You’ve got everything handled just in case they all come early right? I’m gonna head up and get dressed.” You pull away to look at him.
He nods at you, ensuring that he had everything under control, “Yeah, I’ve got it.” He pecks your lips before you pull away and head for the stairs. He watches your figure go up the stairs, just in case you trip or something, he would be there to catch you. When he sees you round the corner safely he yells, “Just give me a shout when you need something!”
He hears a faint “I know!” from upstairs and the sound of a door closing. He took that as his sign to get back in the kitchen and continue cooking. With the help from Sam, over FaceTime, Tom was able to get around the kitchen and make some proper food for your guests
~⏰~
You take one last look at yourself in the mirror. You wore leggings and an oversized knitted sweater that hid your small bump. You had light make up on, not bothering to put much since it was just the girls and you were all just having a casual lunch. You could already hear the commotion downstairs, Jesy’s contagious laughter, hints of Perrie and Jade’s voices, and Leigh-Anne gushing over some decorative piece in your house. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to give them all the good news. In fact, they’re one of the first ones that will get to know about your and Tom’s secret. Your family and Tom’s being the first to find out the moment you both left the doctor’s office. The girls deserved to be part of the group who found out first, they were like your older sisters and have always been there for you since you’ve known them. They’re basically family.
You giddily head down the stairs with delight as the girls finally come onto view. Perrie screams, throwing herself off the couch and pulling you into a hug. You were stunned by the sudden force, though you tightly wrapped your arms around her, careful to not press your stomach against her.
“Oh! I’ve missed you so so much! It’s been so long, I hate being away from you all for months.” Perrie cried, pressing kisses onto your face. You laughed trying to dodger her.
“Let me smother you with love, I haven’t seen you in so long!” Perrie objected, hugging you one more time. “I miss you too, Pez.” You giggled kissing her cheek.
Jesy comes from behind Perrie and detaches her from you, “Babe, you look beautiful! You’re glowing, look at you!” Jesy cupped your cheeks then wrapped her arms around you.
“Oh my goodness, let me tell you, I didn’t even realize that was Tom.” She said when you both broke the hug. You burst out laughing, placing a hand on her arm.
“No seriously! I didn’t even know he can grow facial hair? I was expecting to see a boy answer the door not a man!” Jesy admits making you laugh even more at her genuinely shocked face.
“Are you still on about Tom and his beard?” Jade asks as she approaches you, Leigh-Anne right behind her.
“Isn’t it a shocker? I live with a man now.” You joke, wrapping your arms around Jade. She squeals, swaying the two of you side to side.
“Babe, your house is stunning!” Leigh-Anne compliments, hugging you and kissing your cheek. You wave her off, “You literally have a whole mansion. I still don’t understand how we have the same paycheck.”
You all settle in the living room for now, waiting for Tom to call for lunch. You could smell the delicious aroma of whatever Tom was cooking in the kitchen and your stomach couldn’t help but growl. Jesy eyes your stomach, “What’ve you got in your stomach? That sounded like an animal.” For a moment you were caught off guard at the mention of your stomach. You eyes widen for a second as you glance down at where your sweater was bunched up.
“Uh—I’m just really hungry.” You brush off her comment, face getting flustered. Jade playfully shakes her head glancing at the kitchen, “Has Thomas not been feeding you right?”
“No—he’s been absolutely amazing! Spending lockdown with him was a dream.” You answer chuckling. Perrie crosses her arms, “Lucky, I had lockdown with a football player. Do you know how difficult it is to live with one?”
“It couldn’t have been that bad?” Leigh-Anne chimed in, sipping on a glass of wine. Perrie huffs leaning forward in her seat, “I felt like a bloody housewife the whole time. I had to keep restocking my fridge every week because he eats everything—like seriously, our food never lasted till the weekend. Alex kept on eating my snacks that I had to start hiding them from him.”
“Are we not going to talk about how Jade found love during a worldwide pandemic?” Jesy mentions pointing at Jade, who has a teasing smile on her face.
She waves her finger at Jesy, “Nuh uh, we aren’t talking about that yet.” You gasp, “And why not?”
“We’re still getting to know each other, I don’t want to rush into things, ya know?” Jade’s face contorts in thought. “Like we’ve done a virtual date on Zoom and have been texting each other back and forth, we’ll see where it goes.”
“You’ll be fine and you’re taking things slow, you should be familiar with each other first before fully committing.” Leigh-Anne assured her. All eyes fell on Leigh-Anne then down to her left hand.
“HOLD ON—LET ME SEE THE RING IN PERSON!” You yell jumping off the couch to where Leigh-Anne was sitting. You sit beside her and take her left hand admiring the giant diamond on her ring finger.
“I can’t believe you’re engaged, I’m so happy for you Lee.” You gush pulling her into a side hug. She nudges your shoulder, gesturing to Tom, “You might be next.” She winked.
“You know, I think Perrie’s gonna be the next one actually.” You smirk at the blonde who rolls her eyes. “Like what Jade said, we’ll see.” She hums shrugging. Your stomach growls again making Leigh-Anne glance at your stomach.
“Oh my goodness” she laughs, moving to look for Tom. “Tom, is lunch ready yet? Your girlfriend’s stomach keeps growling!” You hear something clang in the kitchen before Tom pops his head out, “Lunch’s ready, I was just waiting for you ladies to wrap up the chit chat.”
You all move to the dining room where Tom had laid out the food. He’s made pasta, with some steak, Caprese salad, and garlic bread. Jesy makes a content sound as she scans the food on the table before taking a seat.
“I must say Tom, I’m quite impressed with the food.” Jesy compliments Tom. A proud smile forms on Tom’s face, his eyes switching between you and Jesy. “You heard that darling? Jesy just complimented me.”
“I know, I heard her Tom.” You laugh patting his chest. He pulls your seat out for you, then sits in the chair on your right side while Jesy was on your left. Across from you three were Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne.
“We could eat now right?” Jade asks while reaching out for the pasta’s serving fork.
“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Tom nods his head at the food. You hear a whine behind you distracting you from the delicious food Tom made. Behind your chair was Tessa who tried to nuzzle herself between your and Tom’s chairs. Not only had Tom grown even more protective of you, but so has Tessa. The sweetheart trailed after you everywhere you go, she stayed in the same room you were in and would lay beside your feet. Though Tom was her rightful owner, she would bark at him whenever he got a little too close to you or your stomach. Tom wasn’t going to lie, he did feel upset and envious that his precious princess barely paid him any mind anymore. But to know that she was only doing it to protect you and her future sibling warmed his heart, so he got over it in an instant.
“Tess, no.” Tom softly scolded the dog trying to shoo her away from the table. She only let out more whines making your heart break. You placed a hand on Tom’s, “Just let her stay, she won’t bother anyone.” Tom nods and pats Tessa’s head.
Lunch goes by splendidly, it was full of laughs and catching up with each other’s lives. It was nice to finally be surrounded by your favorite people in the world after months being apart. Everyone enjoyed the food, complimenting Tom on his excellent work and not burning the kitchen down. Wine and drinks were passed around except for you, who stuck with a water and a small amount of soda. Usually you would also be drinking, clinking glasses with Jade as you down your drinks, but thankfully no one had caught on yet.
“Sorry, we’ve all been rambling about our experiences during the lockdown, what about you two? (Y/n)? Tom? You’ve both been quiet about your experience together.” Leigh-Anne apologized shifting the conversation to you and Tom.
“You could leave the shagging parts out, we already know what went down in this poor house.” Jade poked at you, sending an over exaggerated wink your way. You shake your head and turn back to Tom. The two of you share a look, the look, and make a silent agreement that it was time to announce the big news.
“Well we’ve been busy. You know, we’ve both been doing lots of promo. I’ve been promoting my new film and (y/n)‘s promoting the album with you guys.” Tom started, making normal conversation.
“Most of the time was spent resting, we took advantage of the free time before we have to go on tour and he has to go away for filming.” You continue. The girls nod understanding the situation.
“What did you guys do on the daily though?”
“Lots of puzzles!” Tom answers. “We had the typical move nights and shit.”
“We did lots of baking too!” You add glancing at Tom, who nods along with you. “We’ve actually got a bun in the oven right now!” You say, emphasizing your words. Leigh-Anne and Jesy share a look instantly catching on. Jade’s mouth gapes, her hand holding the wine glass going limp.
“After all this time! Thomas, it’s probably burning by now, shouldn’t you go and check on it?” Perrie scolds, turning back to the kitchen to catch a peek at the oven. She looks excitedly at you two, “What kind of bun have you guys made?”
Jesy’s eyes pan over to Perrie in disbelief, it was like the salad in the box situation all over again. Leigh-Anne holds her palm up to her mouth as the news sinks in. Jade swats Perrie’s arm, “A human one!”
Perrie’s eyes widen in fear, “A human bun? Like cannibalism?” Tom made a sound of confusion, his brows furrowing at her. You stifle a laugh behind your hand as you wait for Perrie to realize.
“They’re having a baby, Pez!” Jesy yelled making Perrie’s eyes grow in shock. The gears move in her head, “OH! Bun in the oven—BUN IN THE OVEN? You’re pregnant?” She screams shooting out of her chair.
You laugh hiding behind your hands. Jesy grabs onto your wrist, pulling it down, and holding your hand. “Wait, are you actually pregnant? You’re not tricking us?”
You shake you head, a giant smile gracing your lips, eyes getting glossy. “I wouldn’t lie to you guys, you guys are gonna be aunts.” You confirm squeezing Jesy’s hand. She gasps pulling you into a hug. Behind you she reaches a hand and playfully shoves Tom, “As if turning her into you wasn’t enough, you just had to insert yourself into her and make another one of you?”
Tom shrugs, though a smile was also on his face, “Hey, to be fair, you might like this one more than me.” Jesy gets up from her seat and approaches Tom.
“Give me a hug, you div.” She ruffles his hair like an older sister would and wraps her arms around him. Tom chuckles hugging her back.
“I know I give you a lot of shit, but I’m so happy that she ended up with you and not some dickhead. Congrats Tom.” She mutters into his ear, before pulling away from the hug and patting his back. Tom looks at her teary eyed, “Thank you Jes.”
“Wait—no! You’re our baby, you can’t have a baby yet. Stop growing!” Perrie cries coming around the table to engulf you in her arms. This time she was actually crying, tears of joy streaming down her face.
“But Pez, I’m already growing.” You giggle, pulling away from her to lift you knitted sweater up to reveal your small baby bump. The girls gasp, while you and Tom stare proudly at your stomach. Jade and Leigh-Anne join Perrie to hover over your stomach. Jesy looks from over your shoulder, staring at the top of your stomach.
“Can we please touch it?” Leigh-Anne asks quietly, looking up at you and Tom for permission.
“Go ahead.” You assure them. Jesy squeezes your arms, resting her chin on your shoulder. Leigh-Anne, Perrie, and Jade’s hands delicately come into contact with your stretched skin, fascinated by your little bump. Jade pouts as she strokes your belly with her thumb, “Oh, you’re so precious.” She coos.
Perrie rests her palm against your belly, “How far along are you?” You look at Tom over your shoulder, who’s been watching the special moment unfold between you and the girls.
“Four months.” Tom answers, the grin on his face feeling permanent as he talked about his little bean.
“Four months?” Jesy shrieked whipping her head to look at you and Tom.
“Yup, we wanted to tell you guys as soon as we found out but we decided to keep it a little secret for as long as we can.” You explain. “But then my stomach began growing and it’d be obvious, so we decided to tell you guys now since it’s still early.”
“Does anyone else know?” Leigh-Anne asks, hand still resting on your belly.
“Our families know, along with his best mates. But you guys are part of the first few people who know about it.” You reply. Perrie hums softly, cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss onto it.
“You’re the first people I’ve told who aren’t my immediate family.” You laugh. The girls began tearing up again.
“I can’t believe you guys told us.” Jade wipes her eye with the pads of her fingers.
“Why wouldn’t I? You guys are important to me and I love you all so much! You all deserve to know about it before everyone else.” The girls “aww” at you and pull you into a group hug, one of their hands still resting on you belly.
“I can’t believe you’re pregnant, oh my god.” Leigh-Anne expressed, her hand still on your bump.
“It’s hilarious how we were saying you were gonna be the first one to start a family. All of a sudden little missy over here gets knocked up.” Jesy points at Leigh-Anne before giving Tom the stink eye.
“Did they not teach you how to use protection in school?” She playfully teases Tom, back to her usual picking on him. “Or is your pull out game just that weak?” Perrie gasps, covering your belly with both her hands, “Jes! There’s a baby!”
Tom’s mouth drops, his face feigning shock, “You know, I really thought we were having a great moment here, Jes.”
Jesy scoffs, “Moment’s over—have you never heard of ‘Don’t be silly, protect your Willie’?” Everyone pauses before bursting out laughing at Jesy’s comment.
The night ended with the girls making plans of who would be the fun aunt and who would spoil Baby Holland the most. Jesy and Jade debated over being the fun aunt while Perrie and Leigh-Anne tried to outdo each other on who would spoil the baby with the most toys and clothes. Your belly was the main star of the night; the girls occasionally stroking your belly or pressing light little kisses onto it. As you both listened to the girls argue about who would be the baby’s favorite, you and Tom knew that your little baby would be in good hands with four amazing aunts to watch over them.
🦋tags:
*tags with a cross don’t work*
@waxingmoonwrites @slutforsebstan @starslazyandcosy @xkonpinkx @dummiesshort @gypsystuf @kielemarie @wroetospidey @thatgirlangelb @have-aheart @adayasgeorgia @xeniarocks @sarcasticallywitty15 @agustdowney
#marvel#mcu#avengers#Tom Holland#dad!tom holland#dad!tom Holland x reader#tom holland imagines#tom holland x reader#tom holland fluff#tom holland drabble#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland one shot#tom holland headcanon#little mix#perrie edwards#jade thirlwall#jesy nelson#leigh anne pinnock
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We say we're friends, we play pretend (1/2)
Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem reader
Summary: Charlie and Y/N were best friends and a couple as teens, after their breakup they meet again 4 years later on the bootcamp of JATP and have to work together. Will something else happen or they are just friends?
Charlie must have imagined something like this could happen. Since Kenny discovered her 5 years ago, she has been a really close friend to the director, participating in some way or another in almost all his projects.
In front of him after years, Y/N Y/L, his childhood best friend and ex-girlfriend. The young actor is not going to admit that he saw every single one of her projects or how moved he was by her in each one of them, many times even thinking of maybe sending her a little message saying the incredible job she did.
But he never found the courage.
It’s weird to remember how he spent most of his life next to the woman, now one of the top youth artists with multiple musicals and movies on her hits list. They always had a strong bond, every single day together. Sleepovers, music classes, dancing classes, homework, parties, movie nights, hockey, illness days, pretty much everything. At the age of 15 they began a very sweet and innocent relationship that ended at 18 when Y/N moved to New York to work in her first leading role.
The break up was on good terms but painful, so painful that both preferred to lose contact completely than to have the other from time to time opening the wound again and again.
And there she was. As beautifil as ever, speaking happily with Kenny while Madison and Owen jump up and down, Jeremy smiles and Charlie looks like he wants to throw up.
“Y/N Y/L, my golden star. She is the official composer of the soundtrack, and she will be supporting you throughout the album process as well as helping Paul and me in other creative aspects, I know she is the same age as some of you but she has a lot of experience in this and all the necessary preparation so don't hesitate to get all the knowledge you can out of her."
Everyone introduces themselves until the guitarist is the only one left, luckily for him, he’s in voice rest these two weeks so he literally cannot speak.
They both look nervous but the moment their eyes meet their complicity comes out and both smile slightly.
“He’s Charlie, he is in voice rest but we are fans of yours. We cried yesterday watching your last musical, it was just brilliant." Owen lets out hardly breathing, Y/N turns with a smile to see the Canadian boy who wants to kill his friend and then commit suicide.
“Thank you! This is going to be such an interesting experience.” The singer murmurs as she winks at Charlie.
2 hours later they had both been avoiding each other, Y/N writing in a corner while the band and Kenny discuss costumes with Soyon, in which at least half an hour has been wasted trying to understand what Charlie is trying to say with the few words he writes with an apple pencil on his ipad in his horrible handwritting.
Y/N gets frustrated and goes to where they are, approaching behind Charlie's shoulder to see the iPad. She quickly identifies the two words, one so crossed out that it looks like a doodle, but years copying each other's homework pays off.
"He's trying to say that if Luke isn't going to wear bandanas, at least consider wearing beanies." The young woman says as she leans on the shoulder of who was her first love.
Charlie freezes at their proximity, blushing a little at the feeling of being close after so long. Luckily his castmates don't realize it because all their attention is on her.
“You are just good for everything huh? Even deciphering hieroglyphs." Owen comments, smiling at her and winking exaggeratedly to make her laugh.
Charlie can't help but feel insecure with the situation. It could be a friendly thing but If Owen really tries to flirt with her, he doesn't know how he would react. Is sad enough not having her in his life anymore, having her as his best friend's girlfriend would just be too painful.
Now, he knows he’s exaggerating, and a lot. But he has to do something about it. Better safe than sorry.
He stretches his neck to meet the eyes of his ex-girlfriend, who is now only inches away. She quickly gets flustered, but hides it pretty well. The problem is that he knows every gesture perfectly and sees through her mask.
“Wh- What, Gillespie?” She manages to say, Charlie can’t help a smile seeing the way she still reacts towards him.
When you know a person completely, every facet, every gesture, every peculiarity, speaking without words is as natural as breathing. And they had both forgotten how amazing it feels to have someone in your life who is this compatible and magnetic.
They start a conversation, she answers to who secretly still believes as her person while he continues making gestures and mimics that no one else understands, writing a word from time to time to make the talk flow better.
"I know. Hey, it's not my fault! So you excuse yourself with the ‘can't talk’ thing huh? how convenient. Yeah, Ok, I will. I said I will!" Her words are the only thing that they manage to get out of the conversation that the secret ex-couple is having, since no matter how much attention they pay to him, they have no idea how Y/N manages to decipher it.
"I have no idea what's going on but I'll take it as a miracle, I was just going to suggest ignoring Charlie these 2 weeks." Jeremy jokes, everyone nods their heads.
“I mean, it’s still a good option.” Madison replies.
The 14 days go by quickly, and with the former couple spending time together daily, rehearsing Charlie's guitar solos together, with Y/N translating his horrible scribbles, or sometimes simply being close to each other enjoying the company, absentmindedly placing their hand on the other's leg or their forehead on their shoulder for a few seconds during the breaks.
Basically the whole team has noticed the flirtatious smiles and the looks, but Charlie was the weakest rival of both and the one who could release some information about it, and without being able to speak they basically ran out of an informant, since the young singer didn’t let go a word about her unexpected chemistry with the guitarist except the typical ‘we are just good friends’.
But without a doubt the energies began to multiply on Monday when Charlie arrived with the green light to be able to speak and start singing in rehearsals. Madison couldn't attend the first few hours because she was at school, so Y/N was going to cover her so the boys could practice.
“The first on the list is Finally Free, the place where we are going to record it only gave us two weeks from now so it will have to be one of the priorities. For the first rehearsal just vibe with the song and we’ll discover where to go from there. Oh, and good luck keeping up with my golden star, you’ll need it."
Y/N starts the first verse on the keyboard, and gets up to sing the chorus in the center, trying to ignore Charlie and looking up at Jeremy. She hadn’t heard him sing for a couple of years, but the same butterflies appear in her stomach and she knows that she will melt if she looks into his eyes.
Unfortunately for her, Kenny doesn't have the same plan, and just before the second verse ends he tells her to walk over to Charlie, who immediately smiles and sings the pre-chorus with much more enthusiasm. The energy they radiate floods the place, both getting closer and closer. By the time the bridge arrives, their foreheads are practically against each other, their lips only an inch apart, and with a confidence and comfort while singing to each other that makes all those who suspected that there was something between them now practically sure.
Luckily there are only Jeremy, Kenny, Owen and Paul in the room, who decide to play a game of divide and conquer now that the snitch part of the equation can speak.
“Y/N, can you come with me for a moment? I have a new idea for ‘Wow’ and a fresh pair of eyes is just what I need.” Paul says, sacrificing himself for the greater good.
“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right back.” The singer takes the opportunity to leave this staring game with Charlie and quickly walks away from the guitarist, who winks at her in a flirting way in response.
The moment they walk out the door, everyone turns to see Charlie, who has no idea what they're up to.
“What?”
"After what just happened you just can't keep pretending nothing's happening. Man, that was more intense than the whole Troyella moments during all three movies." Kenny pretends to be offended for a second and then nods.
"I have never seen anything like this in all my years of career."
“Yeah dude it was electric.” Owen replies, smirking.
“She’s my person.” Charlie mumbles.
If he’s being honest with himself, deep down he always knew she was the only one for him. But that realization was freaking scary. What's next if the only person for you has already turned the page? gave up without a fight? what's left?
"What?" The three ask in unison, and Charles begins to sing like a bird.
“We grew up together and then we lost the way. Like in those romantic movies where just everyone knows they belong together except the childhood best friends and then they end up ruining their lives by being in denial.”
“From what I saw getting back on track shouldn't be too difficult, Charlie. I assure you that whatever you feel she feels it too. Her eyes don’t lie." Jeremy tries to reason with him.
“Leave your teen problems behind. You are old enough to decide what you want and find a way to make it work. But you have to stop pretending that nothing is happening first." Owen scolds his friend.
“Do you love her?” Jer asks.
“That answer is always going to be yes, I just could never stop loving her even If I tried. And I did.” He really did. The surprise he got when the second he had her close to him his heart began to beat like crazy and all he wanted was to hug her and fix everything. It was as if when seeing her eyes time hadn’t passed, as if only the day before they’d been goofing around together. That bond is so big that he doesn’t believe it’s possible to break.
“Then do something about it, bro! Go get your girl back!” Jeremy advises while Kenny smiles.
“Yeah man, it’s ‘Now or never’ like her song, and I guess ours too now? Since she wrote it for Sunset Curve? Well, anyway, it’s like our song says.” Owen exclaims excitedly.
“Ohhh, musical inspiration, let me try. ‘Get up, get out, relight that spark’.” Jeremy sings to Charlie.
“Jer, you are a genius. If you think about it wake up is actually a pretty good soundtrack song for this situation. ‘It's not what you lost, It's what you'll gain raising your voice in the rain’.”
They both keep singing the song until they reach the bridge, Charlie tries to look frustrated but a slight smile escapes his face.
They are right, he still hasn't lost this fight.
👻PART 2 RIGHT HERE
#jatp fanfic#jatp imagine#jatp fanfiction#charlie gillespie imagine#charlie gillespie x reader#charlie gillespie one shot#jatp luke#luke patterson fic#luke patterson x reader
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