#i have a lot of thoughts about them both as a pair but also individually

[k1tty5]

I would like to make it clear that I do NOT want anyone’s firstborns, but I will ramble. for you.

rambles about the process and other thoughts under the cut! I talk a LOT, so… view at your own risk?

I originally had this idea a couple months ago, I think when I first heard the song. I had made a little test for it, which I didn’t end up doing anything with because I thought it didn’t really make much sense. Which, I’m not sure I did that great of a job making this make sense, but you know. Whatever.

this is the original drawing i made for it back in early august, very rushed and not a big fan of it.

I liked the black background & grayscale palette, as well as the way the string kind of . Twirls around the text? BUT, I went into this without any planning, mostly just me doodling and then threw the lyrics on for fun. No plot or whatever, very short.

After I made this, I was kind of just keeping this idea in mind for later, but I held back on trying to do it as I just wasn’t really sure where I wanted to go with it. I’m very bad at planning and tend to rush into things a lot, which ends up hindering the quality of a lot of my art. and since this was something I actually liked the idea of, I wanted to give it my all.

There was also the fact that because I liked the idea, I wanted the best outcome. This kind of ends up in a sort of paralysis where I don’t want to work on something because I’m not good enough for it, but I did realize that I will likely never consider myself good enough for it, so why not just go for it?

Anyway ,

I did not end up keeping the black background for the reason that I decided that this time around I wanted it to have a more traditional vibe/look? Like perhaps it was scrawled over some roughed up paper, hence the sketchy style and limited palette.

And as for why I didn’t keep the string looping around the pages, I just thought that would add too much red to the pages, sort of ruining the vibe. So I instead just kept it inside the panels!

these are the original thumbnails/sketches! most of them I kept the same, but I did end up pretty much entirely changing the third page, because I decided there was already too many panels of just their faces with somewhat unsettled expressions .

thoughts on individual pages - don’t expect me to be organized or this to be well thought out, by the way,,

on page 1 ,

I started with a shot of the relationship, mostly to just… set the scene. I am NOT an expert on comics, and went into this with very minimal planning, so this work in general is more of the vibes than it is a storyline, but I did try to vaguely get it to resemble something comprehensible.

the second panel of Etho brushing Joel’s cheek is very much no thoughts for me lol, not very happy with how it looks. I do picture Etho as the more openly affectionate one (though i can see it both ways). BUT, to match with the lyrics, you could say that the first panel paired with “it’s hard to tell which elements of this are real” could be resembling that the boat is something tangible and physical, whereas the second panel paired with “and which are chemically enhanced” is referring to whatever feelings they have. Asking themselves if this is really real, or if it’s just the game.

no notes on the third panel lol. like i say this was not well thought out, the story is somewhat there, but it’s VERY much up to interpretation and I did intend it to be that way. I have ideas about what is happening, but I want to keep it up to the viewer.

on page 2,

“But it’s not easy to tell what I want from what I need” OH BOY !!! manic red joel. blinded by the bloodlust and rage and adrenaline. he needs this. he needs it, doesn’t he?

“I am more scared of myself than I am of anyone else” okay okay okay. I don’t headcanon he has any real remorse for killing anyone. this is a death game, you’re not meant to be a good person, this is built on lies and manipulation and blood and hurt. headcanon they’re all insane people doing bad things (with a forced hand or not). BUT !!! big fan of “i break everything i touch” kind of thing (its kind of a pattern in ships i like OOPS). so much angst. regretful of your violent nature, wishing to be gentler so that you can cradle his face without digging your nails into his skin, unwanting to break the only thing you’ve learnt to love.

but. etho doesn’t care !!! he doesnt care. his hands are just as bloody as yours, don’t you see?

on page 3,

panel one is just a continuation of the last scene which i just talked about blah blah blah

panel 2!! thats a portal. we all know what happened in the portal :)

on page 4.

ending the mini comic thing with the ship burning, while it started with a shot of the ship in its prime. before and after, how it started and how it ended.

all in all, I !! AM !!! INSANE!!! about them. I could ramble for hours probably but this is already long so ending with a couple final thoughts.

this is definitely meant to be set after they’ve gone red, when in that timeframe is up to you, though. in my vision the lyrics are kind of correlating to c!joel’s thoughts/feelings/whatevers, but it can definitely go both ways - or neither way lol. This song is really just like. THEM. To me.

anywho, thank you to anyone who has put the augh’s and ough’s in the tags, they’re very gratifying haha <3

the simplest words

[puddingapologist]

one piece manga spoilers re: recent chapter happenings and characters converging, I generally try not to get my hopes up or anticipate overly specific things happening bc I don't like getting disappointed lol. but there is a part of my brain that's looking at whatever the fuck is going on with Sanji atm and his "I don't want to become Heartless Like Them" promise that didn't especially get any closure in Wano, and then looking at the ship with the flag of the guy who we last saw had Sanji's ex-fiance imprisoned - and combined together I can see the vague outline of a possible trajectory where, if Sanji were to succumb to some element of family legacy, part of bringing him back to himself could include restoring the memories that Pudding took away from him?

I don't think I would like it being THE ONLY solution, because the core themes of the series have included the emphasis on camaraderie and friendships, so "romantic love saves the day" would feel... cheap idk lmfao. but it might be interesting as a piece of a larger coordination, because I DO think giving Sanji someone who can (/could have) reciprocate(d) his silly romantic overtures in kind (tsundere problems aside) was a significant decision for his PERSONAL themes (as I interpret them lol)

BUT ALSO (paragraph break because I write sentences too long sorry) even if they don't end up endgame, if having a fistful of "I fell in love with a girl and she loved me back but then I had my heart broken but then we worked together for a bit and then she kissed me" shunted back into your previously vacant memory holes has ZERO impact on jumpstarting SOME kind of emotional reaction, I would be incredibly shocked lmao

[saetoru]

Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.1 gojo satoru sent you a message

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 1/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 1.3k (short one to start off, but the rest are longer)

a/n. welcome to this pilot chapter! this was originally going to be a one-shot but i got way too carried away and ended up planning out a whole series. i hope you enjoy!

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☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

|| 2:13AM Gojo Satoru has requested to follow you

You blink the sleepiness in your eyes away as the harsh light of your phone hits your face. Somewhere in the middle of the crazy dream you were having, you heard your phone incessantly pinging and eventually woke you up to make you realize you forgot to turn the ringer off before going to sleep. Among all the spam email, iCloud storage warnings, and news headliners, there was one notification in particular that had you wondering if you were still dreaming.

“Ugh…y/n, please, turn your phone off,” you heard your roommate Mina mumble in the twin sized bed at the other end of the room as she shuffled her pillow above her head so that it covered both of her ears. You glance out the window of your shared apartment, peering at the pale moonlight, before your tired and heavy eyes travel back to your phone and press on the Instagram notification.

Suspecting this was maybe some prank account, you clicked on the small icon in your inbox that took you to a profile page. Gojo Satoru, Senior at University of Tokyo, Business Major, D1 Soccer #10, SAE. 12k followers, 172 following, 38 posts. 

Still thinking you’re dreaming, you accept the follow request and watch as the number on his following increases by one, now 173. Your thumb swipes up on your phone as you take in the square images of his profile. Pictures of him and his friends recreating memes…food that he’s eaten recently…frequent vacation posts in exotic countries…and a whole lot of what seemed to be professionally taken soccer photos of him striking goals and hitting balls with his head in mid air. You have put a lot of effort into your own Instagram photos (despite your modest 464 followers), mostly posting compilation slideshows of your favorite film photos that you’ve taken recently, yet somehow his feed looks much more inviting than yours.

You turn onto your side and continue to look through his photos. 624 comments, 373 comments, 958 comments. Many were from his friends trying to embarrass him, and many others were from girls that probably wanted him to notice them. You noticed he only really replied to comments from his friends. 

You knew who he was, of course. Gojo Satoru was one of the most, if not the most, popular guys on your college campus. When you got to college, you thought the whole “social hierarchy” thing would be over but it still seemed like there were certain groups of people that almost everyone knew about, "elite" individuals who other students could only dream of associating with. At UTokyo, the fraternities and sororities practically owned the place so of course Gojo was well-known since he was a member of the school’s most iconic frat, SAE. Not to mention, the school adored its soccer team–undefeated since 2012–and Gojo Satoru was the most talented center forward the division has seen in years. 

But as for why he requested to follow you, a film major that doesn’t play any sports and isn’t even in a sorority, well you’re just not sure. 

It’s then when you get yet another notification. 

“Oh my god, y/n, turn it off!” Mina mumbles into her mattress. You click the side button to turn off the ringer. 

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru sent you a message 

Your heart starts to beat a bit faster as you quickly slide to your DMs page. You notice three unread conversations from a few of your friends, probably from when they decided to send you their entire explore page, and then you see a little (1) next to your message requests box. When you open it, you see his icon in your inbox. It’s a simple picture of him in his soccer jersey, his smile wide as one of his team members who was mostly cropped out of the photo seemed to be putting him in a headlock. You see the first few words of the message.

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru: Hey, sorry if this is weir…

You’re about to click on it when you stop yourself. It was really late at night and you didn’t know if you wanted to entertain a conversation with this man you knew literally nothing about (at least on a personal level) and weren’t even sure why he was messaging you in the first place. Plus, he would see that you’ve read it and so you would feel anxious to respond. But there was no way to see his full message unless you opened it. Even though you considered this to be weirdly intimate since it was a message sent at two in the morning, you figured that was probably normal for the likes of people like Gojo Satoru, who probably were out drinking and partying until five in the morning every night, regardless of any 8AM lectures or not. 

But unfortunately, curiosity always kills the cat (that’s the expression, right?) and so you click on his message. 

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru: Hey, sorry if this is weird…I don’t think we’ve ever met before, but my buddy’s really into your roommate, and he’s tried to invite her out to our frat’s house parties but he’s had no luck. Think you could convince her to come this weekend? You’re welcome to come too, of course

You blink in surprise before rolling your eyes, not entirely sure why you were expecting any different. Maybe Mina wasn’t budging on his friend’s advances because she wants to be asked out on an actual date, and not to some house party. But you figured frat guys wouldn’t really understand that. Besides, how did he know that you were her roommate? You’re just about to type a response when you see three little dots in the left side corner, indicating he was typing, and you hold your breath.

|| 2:27AM Gojo Satoru: Here are the details

And then he sends you a post from what looks like his fraternity’s Instagram page. There’s an address, a time, the name of the DJ and girls get in free bolded at the top. You realize you’ve never even been invited to a fraternity’s house party until this very moment. 

You briefly consider not responding to him and just setting your phone back down on your nightstand, rolling over, and falling asleep. But you find your fingers moving on their own to type.

|| 2:31AM You: you’re messaging me to help your friend get with my roommate?

There’s an uncomfortable two minutes where there’s no response from him and for some reason your anxiety is through the roof. You remember the countless times you’ve heard people describe Gojo Satoru in passing: there’s just something about him that demands your attention. 

His notification pops up at the top of the Instagram app when you were scrolling through reels to distract yourself and you accidentally clicked on it too fast. 

|| 2:33AM Gojo Satoru: Uh, yeah? 

You sigh as you ponder the proposition. You don’t even know for sure why Mina wasn’t really responding to his friend’s advances, maybe the guy was a creep or just not her type. And even if she was somewhat interested in him, she’s already refused to go to any of their frat’s house parties, so how would you be able to persuade her? 

You finally convince yourself you’ve had enough of Gojo’s messages for the night and you’ll choose whether or not you want to revisit the topic again in the morning, until another message flashes across your screen.

|| 2:38AM Gojo Satoru: What can I do to get you to convince her to come this weekend?

You bite down on your lip at his question, and an idea flashes through your mind.

|| 2:40AM You: i’ll find a way to convince her. my terms and conditions will come later

He responds in a second.

|| 2:40AM Gojo Satoru: Deal 

a/n. dude literally slid into your DMs lol. thank you for reading! i also post this story over on AO3, if you're more into that format, but i just wanted to start posting over here on tumblr too. hope to see you in the next one!

➸ take me to chapter two!

[teaxeee]

I don't belong here | Shen Ricky & Park Gunwook

Summary: Even though you weren't the type to go to parties, there had to be an exception made for your friend. Little did you know that you'd reunite with a certain individual along with meeting a new one.

Pairing: Female reader x Shen Ricky x Park Gunwook

Genre: Smut (as usual, Minors DNI), one night stand

Word count: 3491 (wow almost 3.5K very surprising)

Warnings: SoftDom!Ricky, slightly MeanDom!Gunwook, fingering, clit slapping, finger sucking, nipple play, lots of praising, slight degradation, pet names (princess, slut, pretty girl, bunny), bulge kink, kind of? MonsterCock!Gunwook, cum eating mentioned at the end

Notes: As soon as I saw the pic I knew I had to drop something, they looked TEW GOOD for me not to write anything about it. Anyways, enjoy pookies!

Song recommendation: I Don't Belong In This Club - Why Don't We

How did you end up in bed with two hot boys? It all started out with going to a friend’s birthday party and as much as you hated going out and being in crowded places you had no choice but to attend. You were wearing a baby pink off shoulder mini dress, the fabric perfectly hugging your curves, showing them off just right. Your makeup looked perfect, it wasn't too strong but it was enough to have people turning their heads. Your hair was also perfect, the soft curls complimenting the dress and the makeup well.

By the time you arrived at the party the place was full of people that were familiar but also that weren't. ‘Why the fuck are so many people here?’ You muttered under your breath as you got out of your car and closed the door. It was a miracle you somehow managed to find a space to park the car. 

You sighed, holding your purse and the bag containing the gift in one hand, locking the car with the other as you made sure every door was properly locked, you could never go wrong with checking every door, the last thing you wanted on your mind was someone to try and steal your car or anything that's inside it.

After confirming that the car was indeed locked you put your purse over your shoulder, while you held the bag and started walking towards the house. Your heels clacked against the concrete, the sound being noticeable in the empty streets. You kept your posture straight, your hips swaying slightly as you walked confidently. 

The house wasn't far thankfully, the walk being short just by 5 minutes from where you parked your car. Music could be heard as you stepped at the entrance of the front yard, taking slow steps as if not to damage your heels. You kept walking and stopped near the door shortly after, quickly checking if you had everything in your purse and making sure the gift wasn't broken in the bag.

You took a deep breath and walked inside, already met by the smell of cigarettes mixed with the strong alcohol, the loud music already starting to ring through your ears. There were a few people in the middle of the room dancing, at least there was an attempt with the drunk ones, and it was painfully obvious by how their bodies swayed. 

Meanwhile, there were a few couples, some of them being in the corners and eating each other's faces off. ‘No wonder love feels so disgusting.’ You thought and shook your head, your main focus being greeting your friend, give the gift to her, wish her a happy birthday and flee away from the party when given the chance. 

“Y/N! You're here! I almost thought you wouldn't show up.” You heard your friend, Celine exclaim excitedly as you approached her. “That was the plan at first, but it would've been a shame if I missed my best friend's birthday.” You said, seeming almost nonchalant compared to her, being overly excited. 

She mumbled a small ‘thank you’ and you both hugged, her happiness boosting as soon as you both broke the hug. “Happy birthday! I hope you keep being smart.” You say sarcastically as you give her the bag and she happily takes it. “Thank you, I hope you find a boyfriend soon.” She talked back sarcastically and you rolled your eyes, causing you both to laugh.

“I heard that Ricky is here.” She added in, already catching your attention with those words. “Ricky? As in the Shen Ricky?” You questioned, watching as she set the bag on a table full with other gifts from the other guests. “Yeah! I saw him with a friend of his, but he did have a huge glow up.” She proclaimed, and you already knew her words were 100% true with how confident she sounded. 

“It's no surprise with the way he ditched classes but still managed to get good grades that he'd also get a glow up too.” You muttered under your breath, not seeming surprised at all that you'd somehow reunite with him one way or another.

“You should talk to him. Bet he missed talking to you.” She suggested. “There's no way I'm talking to him.” You said, already turning to leave, but she quickly grabbed your wrist, restricting you from moving away further than initially planned. “Come on, it won't be so bad. Please?” She begged and you knew she was up to no good whenever she didn't let you leave. 

“If you're concerned if you're going to get along with him or not then I'm sure you'll have a conversation flowing. Just go and talk to him!” She urged, already pulling you along with her as you both walked over to find Ricky and his friend and you surprisingly found them both quickly.

“Well look who it is!” Ricky said, sounding smug as you both approached him and his friend. “Haven't seen you in a while, sweetheart.” He added, clearly unphased by the way you were trying to keep calm in front of him, a smirk forming on his face as he looked at you up and down, shamelessly checking you out. “It's nice to see you again, Shen.” You mumbled, the shyness already starting to show. 

“It's nice to see you too, Y/N.” He replied, a small smile forming on his lips as you both started catching up, having small talk from after finishing high school to your plans for the future, that's until you both stumbled on the topic about your love lifes. The whole time you kept talking with Ricky, his friend would observe you both, quietly downing the liquid remaining in the cup as he heard you and Ricky converse with ease.

“Oh, I almost forgot to introduce you both.” Ricky interrupted the conversation you were both so immersed in, turning to the boy who was too busy eyeing the liquid in the cup. “This is Gunwook, he's not as mean as he looks.” Ricky added as he patted Gunwook on the back, causing the younger to look up, already seeming lost due to his small distraction. “It's nice to meet you, I'm Y/N.” You introduce yourself, seeing how the younger’s cheeks become a bit flushed from embarrassment.

“I-it’s nice to meet you too, I'm Gunwook but you already know my name thanks to Ricky.” Gunwook stuttered slightly, his speech becoming a bit slurred due to how embarrassed he seemed. It didn't surprise you at all to see your friend being gone yet again to greet more guests, leaving you with the two boys standing in front of you.

The three of you continued talking, trying to keep the conversation going by discussing random topics, some which made sense and some that didn't make sense at all. Every time you and Ricky would exchange eye contact he’d get more touchy, his free hand lingering onto your skin, fingers gently caressing your arm to his hand moving lower to your waist. It made your heart flutter with the way his fingers pressed against the fabric of your dress, his touch felt nice but yet addicting. 

It had you secretly pressing your thighs together, trying to hide how embarrassingly wet you got just by listening to Ricky talking and Gunwook witnessed it all, watching you both but already devouring you by keeping his eyes on you. 

He watched the way your body tensed up as Ricky moved his hand underneath your dress, groping your ass as his nails digged into the soft flesh, leaning in and whispering the filthiest things unimaginable, your legs completely turning into jelly as he managed to convince you to ‘have a bit of fun’ with the both of them.

You were almost certain that you'd get caught due to how loud your moans were getting. Your dress was long discarded onto the floor, only leaving Gunwook and Ricky fully dressed. The both of them already had two fingers inside of you, thrusting them in and out as your thighs tensed and your toes curled due to the double penetration. 

“You look so pretty like this, princess…look at how you're taking our fingers so well.” Ricky praised as he pressed his lips against your neck, starting to leave gentle kisses along your skin, causing goosebumps to form all over your body. 

Your hands desperately gripped at the bed sheets as Gunwook sped up his movements, his fingers sliding in and out of you faster as you tried not to squirm. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, their fingers not slowing down as they sank deeper inside with how perfectly you were spread out for them, your chest heaving as your pussy desperately clenched around the digits, coating them with your wetness.

“Shit, look at her. Look how tight she is.” Gunwook groaned as he pulled out his fingers and slapped your clit a few times, causing you to cry out from the slight pain as he pushed his fingers in and started to thrust them in and out of you again. “Such a fucking slut, can't keep her legs closed even if she wanted to.” Gunwook said, his fingers speeding up as Ricky shifted his attention from you to Gunwook, watching how the younger moved his fingers. You were becoming a mess, the pleasure too much for you to handle, causing you to cum. 

Their fingers got coated with your juices and you watched how Ricky pulled his fingers out and licked them clean, a small hum leaving past his lips as he savored the taste. Gunwook pulled his fingers out and stared at how your juices were sticking against his skin. 

As much as he wanted to suck them clean, he didn’t do that. Instead he leaned above you and brought them closer to your face, watching how you eagerly parted your lips just to get a taste. He chuckled and pushed them in your mouth, and you eagerly sucked and licked them clean as the older watched you both.

“You’re that desperate to taste yourself?” Gunwook questioned and you nodded, too occupied to give him a proper answer as your tongue swirled around his digits, he wasn’t surprised how needy you were with the way you looked at him while still having his fingers in your mouth. 

He let you suck on them for a few more seconds then pulled them out of your mouth, causing you to whine in frustration but got quickly cut off when his lips pressed against yours, while gently grabbing your chin and tilting your head up, deepening the kiss.

Gunwook’s lips collided perfectly with yours, the way he kissed was both gentle and rough at the same time, his lips were so soft it made you feel addicted to them. You were too immersed into the kiss to notice when Ricky undressed, already rubbing the tip of his cock against your hole and making you more wet. He slowly pushed inside, the way your walls sucked him in made him groan while you moaned against Gunwook’s lips.

“So good for us, princess…you’re taking me so well.” Ricky praised as soon as he bottomed out, trying to keep his hips still as he let you adjust to his length. Gunwook pulled away from your lips, allowing you to take a breath as he leaned down and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, starting to leave kisses along your skin.

Ricky started moving his hips, his thrusts slow as he watched how your face contorted from the pleasure. He put his hands on your hips and squeezed them gently, then moved them all over your body, his touch being gentle as if you were made out of porcelain, as if he was scared he’ll break you with just one touch.

You were slowly starting to feel lost from the way the two boys were treating you, the way they were touching you all over, it was like heaven for you. “You're so fucking pretty…so pretty for us…” Ricky said as he kept thrusting, his grip on you got slightly tighter as he pushed his cock deep inside you, causing you to feel full from it.

“Our pretty girl, yeah?” Ricky asked as he sped up the pace, watching as you struggled to speak. You were already becoming a moaning mess, struggling to keep the noises from slipping past your lips as Gunwook moved his lips lower, closer to your breasts. His kisses weren't aggressive, he was being careful and gentle when kissing your skin.

“So perfect…” Gunwook mumbled as his lips latched onto one of your nipples, starting to suck slowly as he flicked his tongue gently against the hardened bud, causing you to clench around Ricky's cock. You felt like you were on cloud 9, the way Ricky was fucking you while Gunwook was too busy having his lips attached onto your nipple, swirling his tongue around it as he sucked it in more, causing you to moan.

Ricky kept thrusting at a fast pace, the tip of his cock perfectly hitting against your g-spot, noises of skin slapping against skin filling the room along with your moans and the occasional grunts he let out every now and then. He could tell how close you were by the way you clenched around him and the way your moans were getting more high pitched.

It made him feel so lightheaded, his whole body becoming sweaty and heated up as he neared the edge. His pace became sloppy, as he thrusted a few more times before he came inside, painting your walls white. That was enough to push you over the edge as well, cumming and clenching around his cock, milking every single drop out of him as you both started panting. 

He slowly pulled out after a few minutes, causing you to whimper from the loss of being full. Ricky watched as his cum started oozing out of you, the thick liquid slowly dripping down onto the bed sheets. He was fascinated by it, almost as if he was hypnotized by it. That was until he noticed Gunwook finally moving his lips away from your now swollen nipple, spit and bite marks on one breast, the other one untouched. 

Ricky moved to your side and cupped your cheek with one hand, as he leaned in and kissed you, finally getting a chance to devour you as soon as you kissed him back. He was much more gentle compared to Gunwook, taking his time with you as the kiss became more passionate and gentle, full of love even. 

Gunwook slowly undressed, watching how Ricky devoured your lips as if you'd disappear the moment he stopped kissing you. As soon as he was done undressing he slotted himself between your legs and watched as you and Ricky kept kissing.

It was hot to watch you and Ricky kiss as if you were both in heat, but Gunwook didn't mind how desperate you were for the both of them at all. After a few minutes Ricky broke the kiss and quickly nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, his lips latching onto your skin as he started sucking, causing you to moan.

Gunwook grabbed one of your legs and lifted it over his shoulder, then spread your other leg with one hand, giving himself full access to your stuffed pussy. He wrapped his free hand around the base of his cock and stroked it a few times, then positioned the tip at your entrance, your eyes now fixed onto his cock.

‘How the fuck will it fit?’ You thought as you watched how he dragged his tip up and down your puffy folds, purposely teasing and prolonging the pleasure you desperately needed. It was no surprise about his size: he was huge. His cock looked thick enough to split you in half by the way he was holding it, and the few veins along his length made it look prettier.

Gunwook kept teasing you for a few minutes, watching how annoyed you became the more he dragged his tip along your folds, occasionally tapping your clit with it as you whined from the painful teasing. It didn't take long for him to reposition the tip of his cock at your entrance, slowly pushing inside as he groaned from how tight you were, while you moaned from the size.

He kept pushing in despite you clenching around his length, trying your best to make him fit fully inside you. After a bit he finally managed to fit inside, his hips pressed against yours as he moved his hand away from his cock, placing it right at your belly, feeling the imprint of his cock pressing against your skin.

“Fuck…you're so tight, bunny. Barely fitting me in…” Gunwook said as he started thrusting slowly, his cock slipping in and out of your puffy folds. His fingers pressed against your thigh, gripping the soft flesh as he kept thrusting, being careful not to get you overstimulated.

Meanwhile Ricky kept sucking on your neck, moving his lips from one spot to another, your skin getting covered with hickeys that seem impossible to cover up, one hand moving to your breasts as he started playing with them, giving equal attention to both while he moved his other hand to your hair, running his fingers through it as he tugged at your nipples, weak whimpers slipping past your lips as your hands gripped the bed sheets.

Gunwook sped up the pace, his hips slapping against yours a bit harder as he kept his hand on your belly, feeling how your walls gripped his cock tightly, making you feel more fuller than Ricky did. His thrusts were fast, his cock stretching your already used pussy beyond its limits as he pushed in deep, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix with every thrust.

His eyes were fixed onto your face, watching how your eyes rolled back, your lips parted as you let out the prettiest moans, your hands bunching up the thin bed sheets as your tits bounced every time he thrusted roughly inside, it was the most perfect sight for him, he could watch it for hours and never get bored.

Ricky finally moved his lips away from your neck, admiring the hickeys he left while Gunwook kept thrusting, his pace not faltering as he kept moving his hips, the sounds of skin slapping against skin getting louder with each thrust. He kept hitting your g-spot and you kept clenching around him, your thighs tensing up and toes curling from how good and full you felt from his cock.

Gunwook noticed how close you were with the way you kept clenching around him, moans slipping past your lips as you looked so blissed out. He kept the same pace, as he moved his hand away from your belly and moved it lower, letting his fingers hover above your pussy. He watched your face for a few seconds, seeing the way you were far gone to even try and form a coherent sentence.

He let his fingers brush against your clit, letting out a small hiss from the way your pussy squeezed his cock tightly, desperate to milk him. He placed his fingers against your clit and started rubbing it gently, a high pitched moan escaping from your lips as you clenched around him one more time, your orgasm hitting you harder than anticipated as you soaked his length with your juices.

“Shit…just like that, bunny.” Gunwook praised as he came inside, letting out a groan as he emptied his load, his cum mixing with Ricky’s as he kept thrusting and rubbing your clit. You felt tired and weak, but also satisfied from the way you were filled with both their cum. His pace slowed down, his thrusts becoming deeper as he pushed in and out of you.

The both of them watched as their cum oozed out of you with every thrust, Ricky couldn’t look away as his eyes were glued on your body, seeing the way your chest heaved as you started panting, your face flushed and your whole body glistening with sweat, it made you look breathtaking. 

Gunwook thrusted a few more times and pulled out, then pushed your leg away from his shoulder, letting it fall against the soft mattress. He quickly laid down on his stomach and spread your legs, watching as more cum gushed out of your used hole. He wrapped his arms around your thighs, his hands gripping the soft flesh as he pulled you closer, burying his face between your legs as his lips latched onto your clit, starting to clean you up while you moaned once again from the added pleasure.

That’s how you knew that you were in for a long night with the two boys…

[sugruzt]

❝ castaways ; 명재현

𖥻 pairing: loser!myung jaehyung x female reader

𖥻 contains: rockstar!au, childhood best friends to lovers

𖥻 warnings: inspired by 5sos "try hard" + "heartbreak girl" / english is not my first language so i am sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or misspellings, and i also forgot to proofread so i'm sorry in advance everyone

word count — 2.4k

synopsis — you and jaehyun had been friends ever since you could remember, supporting and caring for each other. but little did you know that the boy you saw as the personification of a soulmate found in a friendship, saw you as the most perfect muse for all the songs he had ever written. you didn't know it yet, but jaehyun was doing his absolute best to make you see his true feelings.

🎀

IT was no secret that looking back to your whole life, you’d lived more years being friends with jaehyun than not. it was natural — for the both of you — to share memories, habits, tastes, experiences, or whatever it was with the other; more natural even than doing so with your families. myung had always been there for you and you had always been there for him. always.

however, for a little over two years now, the two of you have not been able to see each other as often as you used to in the past. between you getting into university and him chasing his dream in the music industry, the necessary sacrifices took more from your individual lives than your teenage fantasies could’ve ever predicted when you were in high school.

the weather that afternoon was warmer than the usual autumn days and you couldn’t help but smile thinking that perhaps even nature knew that two halves of the same soul were about to meet again for the first time in eight months or so and was happy that this encounter was going to take place. there was a light breeze running through the city, refreshing the anticipation inside of you and making your hair dance with movements worthy of the highest class of ballet as you opened the heavy dark-wood door before you.

your eyes wandered around the ambience, looking for those large round dark of his you could recognize anywhere, no matter how much time had passed. “sometimes i swear i can see stars reflecting on your eyes, hyun”, you said one time when you were younger right after your first ever heartbreak and your best friend came to your rescue on the parking lot where your former boyfriend left you; jaehyun picked up the tiny broken pieces of your crushed heart only to somehow find a way to glue them back together until you found the strength to heal by yourself, and the musician never asked for anything in return, because that was who he was in the end. it didn’t take long before you smiled from ear to ear at the sight of him.

“hi, jae!” the excitement in your voice was noticeable to anyone close to the table at the almost empty café you were supposed to meet. “you look different. what did you do?”

the boy, at least you thought it was still the same boy you’ve known since childhood, let out a faint laugh as he hugged you tightly against his body, a good amount of centimetres taller than yours. just like he always used to do, jaehyun cupped your face with his right hand — the soft hand, the only one that should touch you, in his mind — and caressed it before messing up your hair while laughing a little more. “you noticed, didn’t ya?”

before you could answer anything properly, your attention was immediately drawn not only to the edge of the brunette’s lips but also to his left ear, and a confused frown took over your face. “is that a lip ring? and you got an industrial! jaehyun, you cut your hair!”

“but do you like it?” he asked raising his eyebrows in a split second before focusing on the menu. the music lover didn’t have the courage to say the real reasons as to why he did all that, at least not at that moment, but the biggest parts of his heart were praying that you enjoyed the modifications to his appearance like his heart was telling him you would, simply because his heart knew you better than his conscious mind did.

“i mean, yeah i do… it makes you look even more of a rockstar now, hyun, you don’t look like the good mama’s boy you always looked like.” with a chuckle, you decided to copy his moves, and turn your gaze back to the menu, even though you already knew what you’d order anyways.

jaehyun opened a smirk but that kind of good humor didn’t reach his dark eyes. he was twenty years old, over fifteen years had passed since the first day he ever saw you before him and the agony of suppressing the deep and unique feelings the musician had towards his best friend had been eating him alive for the majority of those fifteen years; living twenty-four months without having you as close to him as before was the trigger to make the myung open his eyes to the reality he tried to ignore so badly. all he ever wanted was for you to actually pay attention to the lyrics he wrote, to understand that everything you needed to have your heart in a safe and respectful place was to give it to him; ever since he was fourteen years old, jaehyun’s birthday wish when blowing the candles was always the same: for you to love him the same way he loved you. despite the depth and complexity of his feelings, the singer decided to keep it cool for a little longer; the last thing he wanted at that moment was to unconsciously push you away by bombarding you with all the words bottled up inside his heart since the very first day.

“so how’s school?” he asked once the waiter left you two alone after taking your orders. genuine concern and interest filled every word that came out of your best friend’s mouth, as there was no scenario in this world where jaehyun wouldn’t be worried about you.

you shrugged, looking away. “could be better, to be honest. the classes this last semester were three times harder than the previous one… it caught me off-guard.”

the kind-eyed man offered comfort with his speech, which warmed your heart a little bit more: no matter how much time passed or how much jaehyun changed his appearance, he was still the clumsy kid you met at kindergarten and defended from the other mean boys. in an attempt to take your mind off the stress that tool such a heavy tool on you, he playfully asked if at least there was anyone interesting in that fancy university you got yourself into — even though there was also shy and scared anticipation of his part towards your answer, as the thought of you, his muse, his best friend, his soulmate, being in love with someone who didn’t know you nearly as well as he did or that was willing to go the extra mile for you like he was, made his heart sink. even more so when you nodded.

“i mean, yeah… but it’s not going well. at least not like it used to. i haven’t talked to him in over a week or so, since we had this major argument and i needed to catch a break from that behaviour.”

myung watched uneasily when you played with your fingers, trying to escape his gaze. “why didn’t you tell me that, dove?”

“i didn’t want to trouble you with my petty problems, jaehyun. you need to focus on the band and making it out of here.”

when finally your eyes met his dark ones, the musician felt his blood freeze for a second. there was something different in the way you were looking at him, something he wasn’t used to suddenly was making those marvellous eyes of yours look a thousand times more special than normal. myung jaehyun couldn’t tell right there and then — because he was petrified by his own tornado of thoughts and feelings — but your cheeks were burning with a pink shade of embarrassment, only it was because you didn’t really know what to say or do as this was the first time you met your best friend after admitting to yourself that those feelings of care and affection towards him were due to something a lot stronger than just friendship.

“c’mon, y/n… you could never trouble me, dove.” jaehyun chuckled and took your hands between his with such gentleness that your heart began to race faster than any race car. “i’m here for you, okay?”

the following couple of hours went flying by like those leaves in the wind outside the café. your mind was blank and your thoughts, numb, as you tried as hard as you could to not let it show just how confused you were with everything taking over your judgement towards that friendship. you were scared to ruin it and you were terrified of the idea of not having jaehyun around anymore because of something dumb or did or said; but at the same time, much like him although you didn’t know it, your heart ached just from imagining what it would be like if you jumped off that cliff and confessed your feelings.

before you even realised it, the both of you were outside. the hot coffee from before didn’t really do much to keep you from feeling a shiver down your spine as a stronger breeze hit you colder than the ones from before; instead, jaehyun’s embrace felt like a personal fireplace. you couldn’t help but smile with that comparison, but even more so when he asked if would like to see what the studio looked like — with such invitation, the myung hoped it would create a nice setting for him to show you the newest song he wrote. if destiny decided that was the last melody jaehyun were to play to you, then he would do so with an undying smile.

the place was a little dark: deeper shades of brown and grey all around the walls and furniture but the acoustic panels were black and the only form of lighting came either from the computer screens and mixing consoles or from the few led lights on the ceiling above you. it smelled like cigarettes and scented candles in there, but you were too mesmerized by the fact of being in a recording studio for the first time in your life to pay attention to such details. as for jaehyun, he thought the studio was too small, too simple for you to be this enchanted by it, but your excitement brought joy to his heart and it felt like this was heaven for him; you with him in the one place he worked so hard to make his dream come true was what life should be like. this felt natural, and he only prayed that after that night, it would truly be like that forever.

“do you like it, dove?” the brunette asked, biting his lower lip while playing with his ear piercings.

“it’s so cool, hyun! look at all this stuff! what does this button do?” with sparkling eyes, you sat by the mixing consoles and bombarded your friend with a thousand questions per second. laughing, he only shrugged and rested his weight on the headrest above you.

“i don’t really know. taesan knows more about this than i do, i just stick with the guitar.” liar. jaehyun loved to produce as well, but he didn’t want to sound cocky to you so he decided to hold his tongue.

before the boy could say anything to keep you from pressing any buttons you didn’t know what they were for, your finger gently hit one of those and it triggered a recording from the night before. jaehyun had forgotten about it, but before leaving the studio, he didn’t delete the recording of him playing the acoustic guitar and singing the first song he had ever written about you; as the words came out on the speakers, the shame and fear paralyzed him so badly the guitarist couldn’t even stop it from playing anymore. his eyes were closed shut and he didn’t see how a smile took over your lips, that grew with every note because your mind was interpreting the lyrics and you understood what the song was about.

butterflies started a rampage on your stomach and your hands covered your face out of shyness, but the reality was that you felt like the teen version of yourself all over again in a matter of minutes.

“it’s beautiful, jae” you whispered by the time the song ended and you tried as hard as you could not to cry. “tell me about it”

those big, brown eyes you knew like the palm of your hand now stared at you with a feeling you had never seen before. you could feel every breath that escaped your lungs, every beat of your heart pounding against your chest, and every droplet of sweat that ran down your temples like a mustang crossing the grasslands. the entire universe had stopped for that brief moment to watch what would become of these two best friends who were exhausted of hiding their true feelings for one another; with jaehyun’s eyes tracing every little inch of your angel-like face, the repeating recording in the background was nothing compared to the symphony of two unaware hearts colliding into each other. how could you know he felt this way? how come jaehyun never did anything to show you the love prints engraved inside his heart god knew how long? worse than that: why didn’t you see your own feelings before?

“i can’t… i’ve waited too long to say this and now i can’t. i can’t say it with you looking at me like that, dove.” he whispered back and with a trembling hand, touched your face with just his thumb, scared that the roughness on the skin of his hand could scar a perfect face like yours. tears were forming in his eyes as the frustration of being incapable of confessing everything to the love of his life consumed jaehyun on the inside.

“then i’ll say it first: i love you, myung jaehyun.”

caressing his puffy red cheeks, the loving words slipped out of your mouth with such ease it scared you for a quick moment but as you repeated them back to him like a mantra, bringing his face closer to yours every time you did, the weight that had been destroying your shoulders and crushing your heart for the past year was finally gone and all you could think of was how gentle of a soul the boy you fell in love with had.

“i’ve loved you since the very first day, dove… i’ve waited fifteen years to be honoured with the privilege of being the one holding your heart. i swear i won’t ever drop it. your heart is safe with me, your love is safe with me.”

[cor-lapis]

I decided to have a go at doing my own redesigns because these three are my favourites and I love them very much. further notes + sources under the readmore (warning: lots of text). I did my best with the research, but if there's anything I overlooked, I'd really appreciate people letting me know :)

Tighnari:

My main source for Tighnari was this excellent thread, from which I looked up each item of clothing individually. Since djellabas tend to be quite long, and Tighnari needs mobility for forest ranger activities, I figured he would cut and re-hem the lower half. He also has a lot of clothing pieces that are traditionally multicoloured, but to keep his design cohesive I decided to use the same colours across different items, but using a larger palette of colours than I would usually. I like the bright colours on him a lot though!

There are also some minor details I just changed because I wanted to. The flower on his chest is now a nilotpala lotus, because I thought it was nice to include his acension material/the material he asks you to help gather. The dirt stains/scuff marks are because rainforests are muddy and I wanted the design to emphasise Tighnari being very practical and hands-on with his work (see also, the specimen belt).

Finally, I shrunk the magnifying glass on his back (because I'm pretty sure it's meant to be his first magnifying glass toy and that thing is very large for a child to handle) and gave him an undercut because it seemed right. Also, I merged his front and back trailing cloths into a scarf type of thing that he could wrap around his nose and mouth to prevent inhaling spores from mushrooms.

Collei:

COLLEI my beloved. I had a mild nightmare trying to figure out a specific source culture for her design, but nobody seemed to know specifics and her outfit wasn't matching with any traditional dress I looked up, so in the end decided to keep the overall look the same. Just in case I assigned her something else, but then it turned out I missed her actual inspiration.

Anyway, I made her shoes simpler (no fur, heels, and open toes in the rainforest seemed reasonable to me), and gave her shorts. I liked the green colour because it's pretty unique under a dark dress, and pairs nicely with Nahida's white dress + green undersides. Amber's tie stays, but I made most of her jewellery smaller since it felt a little clunky for a trainee ranger.

Her earring and necklace(?) are allusions to the Evil Eye and the Khmissa/Hamsa, both symbols of protection. Especially considering the fact they're meant to ward off evil, and very common across multiple MENA cultures, it seemed fitting for Collei to have them. Also, she has Eleazar scars, and I used the design for her stockings as inspiration for the combination knee braces (similar to those used for arthritis, since Eleazar also causes stiff limbs and I HC that people affected would probably still need some recovery support)/knee pads (in the case of a fall). I like the idea that Kaveh would have helped make them for her (tangent but the fic Here is the House explores similar ideas; it's really really good, I heavily recommend it). Finally, she has curly hair because I thought it would be cute.

Cyno:

Here's the thread I found for Cyno. The main critique was to do with the eras from which each aspect of his clothing drew inspiration, but I admittedly wouldn't be able to do much about this without a lot of research. One thing I did try and verify was the small strip of cloth on the left of his chest, and I found a few wall murals where the people seem to be wearing similar strips of cloth? (example here; rightmost figure) Therefore, I didn't remove it, but if someone wants to explain Ancient Egyptian clothing history to me I'd be really interested to hear it 6.6

I might iterate on the design in the future, but for now the changes are mostly HC territory. Cyno wearing his hair in locs (a protective hairstyle) makes sense for someone who does a lot of hiking after rogue scholars, and I also gave him quite old and faded top surgery scars because healthcare is canonically free in Sumeru (thanks for that information, al-Haitham)(though tbf Cyno makes bank anyway). I also adjusted the colours a bit, since Genshin tends to use desaturated shades for metallic elements.

I also considered giving Cyno more scars, but figured that it could indicate Hermanubis' presence that someone you'd expect to get injured a lot is relatively scar-free (i.e. some sort of godly healing factor/resistance to damage). However, we know next to nothing about Hermanubis, so Cyno having a lot of scars also makes sense. This paragraph is mostly just a cry for help cyno story quest 2 literally any more elaboration about the nature of Hermanubis' pact and the Temple of Silence.

Conclusion

I wasn't intending to write one when I started the explanations but this got REALLY long so if you made it this far, thank you so so much ToT please check out the links; the threads especially were a great resource, and I'm grateful that people take the time to make them <3 genshin's character design department are cowards but I'm glad I learned some new things through the redesign process

[arsheyee]

JJK MEN: Plays and Kinks (female reader)

Hi long time no see…. This is my first multiple JJK men in one writing…. Hope you all enjoy it ✌️💕

Synopsis: Here lie the kinks and the plays of JJK men….

Warnings ⚠️: ass play, daddy,sir,mommy play, food, virginity, etc… lol I forgot

Paring: Gojo x fem!reader, Geto x fem!reader, Nanami x fem!reader, Toji x fem!reader, Choso x fem!reader individual pairing

Ok that is enjoy ☺️

(PS I also added some mood boards)

No minors from this point 🔞🔞🔞🔞

@shadyteacup I did my best how you like it. ❤️💕

Gojo Satoru

Food play ( lot of liquid syrups, whipped cream, melted chocolate, teasing you while you cook…be a good wife for him)

Satoru loves food , especially sweets and cooking various sweets. It was accidentally that he discovered his little food play kink. You both were eating ice cream and some of it fell on your cleavage and thighs. Before you could lick the ice cream of you Satoru leaned in forward to lick the ice cream of you.

When he was done he looked up to see you all red. He got up and kneeled down in front of you slowly and torturously licking off the remaining ice cream from your thighs until he reached your wet pussy. “ he licked a strip of your pussy over your panties. The cloth was obstructing him. He got up quickly and put you over his shoulder. Taking the bowl of ice cream in his other hand

“Let’s have dessert in bed tonight princess”

That’s when it all started. When he didn’t order dessert in a restaurant or didn’t buy any mochi on the way home means you are the “mochi” tonight.

“I can’t wait to eat you out and lick and suck this delicious honey from that sweet pussy of yours. I love the taste when the honey and your arousal are mixed up, your folds coated over and over with golden honey, all glossy, sweet and wet, just for me.”

Geto Suguru

Daddy play ( lot of name callling- princess baby girl doll, you love his voice and he loves your moans)

Geto loves to talk to you. You are probably the only non sorcerer he enjoys and loves to death. He talks to you about everything-what is going on in the business, his success, his worries and insecurities and his thoughts, Gojo being an ass and you love to listen to him. He always wants to resolve every thought of the day before you two are going to bed… so why not talk everything out in the sexual way too? He would love to tease you with his words. Hearing you moan is like music to his ears.

In this context of his kink he has an extremely soft and hot spot for Daddy or Sir. And to give his words sometimes a little more spice until unbearable effect he would love it when you wear a little remote controlled Bullet in yourself and have his fun with it when you’re out or meeting one of those monkeys.

“Oh now now, Babygirl. Don’t move so much! You don’t want those dam monkeys become suspicious, right? Sit still and don’t make any noises that could betray your filthy secret of your pussy. At first, why you’re doing such lewd things in public and secondly that you’re willing to let yourself get caught! To let them all know how needy you are to be filled with a big cock, that you’re such a shameless dirty girl.They’d question my upbringing in your behaviour and Daddy wouldn’t accept it at all. Or will you make Daddy spank your round ass when we get home?” He would whisper absolute filth in your ear making it hard for you stay still.

Nanami Kento

Bondage play (Sadism, teasing, overstimulation, edging, orgasm-denial)

Nanami was a seen and professional man. He was such a gentleman when you two started a relationship together. He is such a sweet and caring man always treating you like a princess making you happy. He gave you hugs on the way days you were sad, held the door for you walked along with your hands linked with each other , a perfect example of chivalry. But somehow his behaviour turn a 180 while sex. He switches to the most sassiest tease and absolute dom. He is a lowkey sadist. He loves to tease you, deny orgasms, overstimulate you and using the pretty little toys he brought you. You whines and moans drive him crazy like he is feral. He is literally married to using that damn massager that he bought a long time ago. Tying you wrists and ankles with ropes, tape or handcuffs (the ones that bite)

Hours and hours go by before he gives you an orgasm and when you beg for him with glassy eyes he gives you five in a row.

“Please Ken, oh God please! I-I c-can’t handle it anymore! Please let me cum! I’ll do whatever you want without complaining b-but just please let me cum!”

“You’re so needy and impatient, Sweetheart. I said stay patient and after some time I’ll give you my permission to cum. But my little Girl is so indecent and just don’t want to learn how she should behave!”

“Y-You said after some t-time! A half hour went by! Kento, please!”

“God, Darling. Why you are so bratty today? But okay, if it’s your wish to come so I’ll let that greedy pussy of yours come. But then you have to take all these orgasm I’m gonna give you without one single murmur. Is it clear?”

“Wait, Ken no! No-I am s-sor”

“What did I say? Shut your little mouth. And why not? I’m sure, I’m gonna make you squirt all over again~”

Fushiguro Toji

Kitten play (innocence kink, virginity kink, defiling you, teaching you sex)

Toji’s ego inflates to the roof when you confess to him that you never had sex. He loves your inexperienced body and big doe eyes. He adores how you stutter nervously and how red your cheeks get when he makes a dirty joke or a flirty comment. You decided to surprise him with white lingerie and matching cat ears. He had to admit the minute he saw you he wanted to rip those apart and take you as he wished. Just the thought of marking you making you his is enough to make him go insane. He wants to be the first and only man to touch that pretty body of yours…

“My Baby looks so cute and pure in her angelic white lingerie, but in reality she’s a dirty Kitten and she loves to be ruined by me, right? You enjoy my fingers way too much in your tight little pussy. Rubbing your clit the way you love. God, I love to defile your Innocence with these lewd things! You look so pure, but deep inside of you you’re a shameless filthy Kitten, begging for Toys and my Cock!”

Kamo Choso

Mommy/Ma’am play (enjoys being the sub, ass play, buttplugs, loves a strap-on)

Choso didn’t have a hard time admitting that he would like to be in the submissive role when it comes to sex. You have been his best friend for years and you guys talk about everything. He knows your Cup-Size and helps you pick your lingerie sometimes, telling you if your chosen set is sexy or not. And he also knows that your first and thankfully now ex-boyfriend was a complete asshole and that he wasn’t even able to satisfy you properly in bed. Choso is glad that you finally left him, not just because he treated you really badly… But also because he has feelings for you. Maybe that’s the reason why he didn’t tell you about his secret fantasies until now, even though you’re best friends. He wants to be desirable for you, the strong man you need to feel attractive again. So he has to cope with his fantasies alone. The thought of being tied up to the headboard, having a buttplug in his tight ass and following your command not to cum until you are satisfied while you ride him drives him completely insane.

Will it only remain his dream…. ? I don’t think so…

I think I will never gonna find a man who would like to try this.”

“What? To try what?”

“I’ll never find a man who would like a woman that is in charge and follow her commands and this stuff. You know. I don’t know if I already told you, but I think I’m more of a Dom in Bed. But it seems like every man I’ve met can’t even imagine giving up some power and let me take the lead for the Night.”

“…W-Wait… you are a Dom?”

“Yeah… I like the thought of powerplay and taking control from time to time. I don’t think I’m a complete Femdom, but it really turns me on when my partner would beg for permission to let him cum. And you know I have a soft spot for toys, I would love to use some of them on a man too.”

“What kind of toys?”

“You are pretty curious, Cho! Don’t tell me you are interested in this?”

“Fuck, Darling. You don’t know what you’re doing to me, you just said my secret wishes out loud. I’d love to follow your commands, beg for your permission to cum and let you stuff my ass with a buttplug if you would like that…”

“…holy shit. Fuck… you are making me so wet with these words.”

“Please… give me the permission to make you feel good, Baby…”

“You may call me Miss Y/N from now on….”

[ihrthoney]

promise

pairings: obanai iguro x f!reader

warnings: some angst, fluff!

word count: 1.4k

an: muzan is dead and everyone is still alive, everyone’s scars healed just fine😁 also, if this flops ill kms 🫶🏼

Never would he have imagined actually committing to someone in this lifetime. This body of his was dirty, even after defeating Muzan, being reborn is the only way to cleanse the sins of his upbringing.

He tried to ignore your obvious advancements, he really did. There was no threat stopping him but he was stubborn if anything. Although, Kaburamaru, to no surprise, loves you. Whenever you and Obanai talk, the white snake slithers from his shoulders to your own. Iguro always scolds Kaburamaru when walking back to his estate knowing well the snake refuses to leave your shoulders so you guys can converse more.

Being so close to Mitsuri had helped him get over his fear of women, while not completely comfortable, he’s a lot more confident in conversation. Besides Mitsuri, Shinobu is another woman he isn’t afraid of, they send letters often and give each other advice.

Although, surprisingly, neither of them were the ones to give him advice about you. Sanemi, his best friend, had given him quite a lecture about letting go of the past. Sanemi didn’t say those exact words, given Iguro’s life, but he understood the gist. Apparently, the wind hashira had feelings towards Shinobu’s older sister Kanae, “We don’t have to fear for our loved ones every single day, but we still only live once. Don’t wait until the next to tell her.”

He knew he was right, but it didn’t stop him from feeling unworthy. A sick part of him hopes you reject him so that he can try again in the next life, one where he doesn’t have voices in the back of his head. Even so, the hashira wrote you a letter, confessing his feelings while sending some treats (with the help of Mitsuri).

You had knocked on his door in the wee hours of the morning, apparently making your way to his home as soon as the letter reached you. As he scolded you for being so impatient, he couldn’t hide the blush from his face as you beamed at him. After that night, you’ve both grown exponentially as individuals and as a couple.

In your eyes, everything was perfect. No threats of demons, your feelings were reciprocated and your relationship was flourishing, everyone has grown closer! So your dear love giving you the cold shoulder was very confusing and albeit a little hurtful.

Walking into your shared estate, Obanai walks past you and into your shared room. Lightly, you tug on his sleeve, “My love, what’s the matter?”

Despite his inner turmoil, he wouldn’t dare be harsh towards you. A little hypocritical given that he hasn’t spoken to you since he saw the interaction but he didn’t have any time to be alone and rid of the thoughts, so they stuck to him like a parasite even as you held hands on the walk home.

“I don’t feel like talking about it right now, I’m sorry. Would it be okay if we talked about it in the morning?” He begs, he just wants the warmth of your arms around him to shield him from such awful thoughts.

Saying no to Obanai was impossible, something you wouldn’t do even if you wanted to (which is never, you want to give him the whole world), “Anything you want my love. Just promise me we’ll talk about it first thing tomorrow?”

“I promise.”

The rest of the night was spent with you both attached to the hip. As you both washed the day away, you scrubbed at his back, smoothing your fingers through his hair as he leaned back into you. During dinner you insisted on cooking as he lay on the sofa. He didn’t listen, of course, itching to be near you and help you out as much as he can.

You both decide to eat outside in the back patio, enjoying the quiet, watching the stars shine down upon you after such achievements.

Both bowls are finished, set nearest to Obanai as he took them and turned towards you, adoring the details of your beautiful face. Unfortunately, the bliss was short-lived as he remembered today’s occurrences, “What were you talking about with… Tomioka?”

Moving your gaze from the stars to your lover's face, past the scars, you see a man who deserves everything good. A man who was once a boy who didn’t do anything to be treated and used. Iguro Obanai was the love of your life, in this and the next, you hope your soul finds him.

“He was insisting we go to the spa he recently visited with Uzui and his wives. I’ve never seen him smile before or laugh or talk so much, it was interesting, to say the least, in a good way of course! Anyways, he had asked if you still hated him which made me laugh because of course you don…” You’re cut off by the sheepish look Obanai is currently giving you,

“My love..” in his defense, he doesn’t dislike him anymore. Tomioka does look a lot happier, it was weird and he had the urge to make fun of him but Sanemi was also smiling which was frightening given the smile he usually wore was one of anger.

To your understanding, Obanai didn’t like Tomioka because he seemed miserable and such an attitude irritated him. It was valid to an extent, you didn’t really like how meanly he spoke, which you’ve told him so, “I knew you didn’t like him, but hate?” Quickly, Obanai jumps to his own defense, “I don’t hate him, I never did. Just… strongly disliked.”

Sighing, you slowly move his gaze back to your own, “If seeing me near Tomioka bothers you, I will keep my distance.” It honestly aches his heart, you’re so considerate of his feelings that despite your own view on people, there’s not a second of hesitation for you when it comes to him.

As much as he would like that, it wouldn’t be fair to hold you back from socializing. By nature you’re a friendly person, he was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. To a fault, you were very honest, from what he has learned throughout the years of knowing you, you’re honest without even realizing it. He loves you, so much, more than anything ever.

Obanai Iguro swallows his pride, he promised you that he would try to move on in this lifetime, what good would it be if he tried to halt your guys’ progress?

“What are you thinking in that head of yours, my love?” Your hands move to place his head in your lap, he lays on his back and staring up at you, like you were the sun and moon itself.

Even though he wanted to repress these thoughts until the new day, the way your eyes shone with love made the words scratch out of his throat, “I was jealous,” is all he could bring himself to say. Obanai wants to elaborate but it seems he didn’t need to,

“Thank you for telling me how you feel. Is there anything I can do to avoid making you feel like that?” The former hashira closes his eyes, embarrassed to admit his request, “For the time being, could you keep your distance from Tomioka? I’m still getting used to seeing that expression on his face.” You laugh at his disturbed tone, he opens his eyes to see his favorite sound play in front of him.

Your laugh. You. You’ve saved him in ways he will never be able to repay.

But for you, he’ll do anything too.

“You know I’ll do anything for you. When you’re ready and comfortable, you say the words and your wish is my command.” His face scrunches at the last word, “Bleh, don’t speak to me like I’m royalty.”

“I hope you know that you are more than what was. Who you are now and will be is all that matters. I love you, Iguro Obanai.”

Sitting up, it’s his turn to cup your face, slowly he inches your faces together. Your eyes never cut contact until yours close, before closing the gap he whispers against your lips,

“I love you more than anything.”

© ihrthoney. reblogs & feedback are greatly appreciated𑁤

[thepersonperson]

Sukuna's Loneliness Part 1

(Thoughts on Sukuna's Dehumanization as of JJK 261.)

Part 2

Some things to keep in mind...

1) This analysis deals with topics of ableism, racism, and discrimination. (Very brief suicidal ideation mention.)

2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans because of their accessibility. 

3) There are a lot of links so you know I'm not making stuff up. The sources are both formal and informal. Please do research on some of the discussed topics to gain a better understanding of them.

(Click pictures for captions/citations.)

The Name Ryomen Sukuna

Before we start this needs to be made clear. Ryomen Sukuna is not a first and last name. Ryomen is a title. Sukuna is a name.

Ryomen uses the kanji 両面 which can be translated as "two-faced".

Sukuna uses the kanji 宿儺 which can be translated as "specter". Individually the kanji can be read as "lodging, inn" (宿, suku) and "exorcism" (儺, na).

Two-faced specter is not a nice name to put it lightly. It's such a mean spirited name that the JP fanbase suspects he was called something else before becoming The Disgraced One.

Normally I would assume his parents did not name him this, however, Sukuna himself had this to say about his birth.

In the original Japanese, Sukuna calls himself 忌み子 (Imigo) which can be translated as "Abominable Child", "Unwanted Child", or "Shunned Child." None of these translations in my opinion get across how severe Imigo is. It's closer to meaning "child who should've never been born". Like the child's very existence is an affront to god. (If you play Elden Ring the Omen are called Imigo in Japanese for this reason.)

You combine this fact with his name and it starts to paint a nasty picture. Sukuna straight up may not have a last name in part from what is implied to be disownment from birth.

Sukuna's Trauma

(Even if he won't acknowledge it as something that has deeply affected him.)

As a Basketball American (aka one of those people with a unique skeletal structure and muscles as Mr. Gojo Satoru would say), I consider myself a professional experiencer of discrimination. This means when a character has likely experienced something similar to me, I can sniff it out like a bloodhound. Though what Sukuna experiences is much closer to ableism than racism. (Discrimination across the board is pretty similar in a lot of ways you know.)

Sukuna is disabled—not as in he lacks an able body (my goodness he is too ablebodied), but as society is not built with any consideration for him. He’s a massive conjoined twin with 4 eyes and 4 arms and 2 mouths. If you know anything about being tall in Japan, it's that it’s a nightmare. Doorways, showers, bathrooms, and buildings are built for small people which leads to the very infrastructure causing problems for anyone big. But Sukuna’s size is just the start of those kinds of problems. He canonically wears women’s kimonos to accommodate his arms since they have larger sleeves. He often goes shirtless or wears a shawl simply because clothing isn’t made for him.

If you’ve known or read anything by people with mobility issues or missing limbs, a major complaint is clothing. For example someone with a missing leg can either pay for expensive customized pants, or they can purchase regular pants and tie off the extra pant leg. They can have trouble buying one shoe since they almost always come in pairs. (To rectify this sometimes they find a mirror twin called a Sole Mate who they share the extra shoe with.) 

Now if I’ve learned anything from people with mobility issues, it’s that ablebodied people are really fudging annoying and rude. They will grab mobility aids unprompted and even move people around in wheelchairs without permission. In this treatment, the ablebodied dehumanize the disabled and treat them like objects in their way.

Sukuna also experiences objectification in a similar manner. People see him as an obstacle to conquer, a means to test their strength, a helpless thing that needs curing, a test subject to study, and a symbol for their own use. All of these things are extremely dehumanizing and things disabled people may have to deal with.

We’ve got Yuji and co seeing him as a curse to exorcize.

Kashimo and others using Sukuna to test their strength.

Yorozu seeing Sukuna’s lack of interest in romantic/sexual love as a thing to be cured. (Your honor, he is aroace.)

Kenjaku using Sukuna as a test subject and insurance for The Plan.

Heian era society revering him as a god to use him in rituals for their benefit.

The last example is a very interesting form of discrimination. If you aren’t familiar with the term, there is one called benevolent prejudice. This is when discriminatory beliefs are flattering instead of malicious. (Examples: Black people are athletic, Asian people are smart, etc.)

Benevolent prejudice still results in negative outcomes for the group affected, but to me personally, some of them are kind of hilarious in isolation. Here are some of my favorites:

I’m pretty sure this is why Gojo apologizes so readily to Miguel and without resistance. He realizes “oh crap I’m doing to Miguel what everyone does to me”. 

And yes this belief had a negative outcome for Miguel—it’s likely the reason Gojo beat him so hard compared to other characters in the JJK 0 movie. (Remember Gege has direct involvement in the anime.) This is canonically a racially motivated beatdown, trauma response from the black ropes mimicking Toji notwithstanding.

On the ableism side of things this benevolent prejudice can manifest as turning people with deformities or atypical features into objects for worship, fetishization, or sacrifice.

As an aside, I suspect Uraume’s gender is ambiguous because they’re intersex. And boy howdy do intersex people experience dehumanization as objects of worship (fetishization and religious symbols) or as a problem that needs to be corrected (forced surgical procedures/mutilation and erasure). This, in my opinion, might be the reason Sukuna likes them more than anyone else. Uraume may not fully understand the isolation of strength, but they do get the dehumanizing way in which society treats them both.

My point here is that Sukuna experiences regular prejudice and the benevolent type. All of which are dehumanizing from every single angle, leaving him in a state of near constant objectification. (Uraume puts Sukuna on a pedestal as their master which is emotionally isolating but they still see him as an individual on his own merits.)

What constant systemic discrimination does to a motherfudger...

So now that we've established how Sukuna's dehumanization happened, I can rant about how this is probably a major reason behind his disconnect from his humanity and a source of his loneliness.

Gege has stated that Sukuna and other people don’t really know how to categorize his personhood. He's so strong he's more like a natural disaster than anything else.

Sukuna says things like this about himself.

"If I was a cursed spirit…"

"...that's the sort of human I was."

He doesn’t see himself as a human or a curse. At one point he did consider himself human but stopped. He sees himself as this third thing which is highly likely to be a “living creature” as Gojo would put it. 

Gojo also experienced benevolent prejudice that lead to his dehumanization and subsequent objectification (thanks JJK 261 for making me realize it was much worse than I assumed). And from birth too. I think this is why they’re able to connect so well during their fight. Especially since this prejudice leads to them becoming sinks for everyone's burdens while being scorned in the same breath. (It's like how people adore "my kind's" athletic/manual labor abilities but then don't want us in their neighborhoods.) The world isn't made for them but it's going to exploit the very thing it hates them for.

The difference between those two is probably the stares of disgust and day to day inconveniences from the extra parts. Gojo can effectively blend in with other humans if he really tries. Sukuna cannot. (Maybe that’s why he says this too.)

Sukuna to me, feels like a manifestation of this rage against constant systemic discrimination. You look at him funny? He kills you. You treat him like a thing that serves you? He kills you.

I know I'm projecting but hear me out!

I don't think Sukuna was aggressively abused by others for his appearance to get to this point by the way. It's more of a death by 1,000 cuts scenario. Someone crossing the street to avoid you, a flash of revulsion when they look at you, backhanded compliments, name-calling in whispers, gentle reminders you don't belong in infrastructure and accessibility to resources. On their own they feel like paper cuts, but if you experience them constantly without time to recover, one day you look down and realize there's a massive rotting gash.

Thankfully I have friends and spaces where I can exist without being subject to discrimination. I can treat these wounds and keep going relatively ok. When I was a child, I didn't have a proper outlet for that and it ate me alive. I flip flopped between wanting to magically wake up fully white or disappearing entirely and wanting everything to explode. Sometimes I wanted all of these thing at the same time. These old wounds reopen on occasion but I know how to deal with that now.

In Sukuna's behavior and attitude, I see that kind of hurt. And his coping strategy appears to be making everything explode since violence is all he knows. Maybe cannibalism wasn't the healthiest way to deal with this but you know it's Jujutsu Kaisen.

Speaking of cannibalism, the definition of a cannibal is an individual that eats members of their own species. Sukuna is regarded as a non-human by everyone around him in every instance except when he is called a cannibal. He’s not human enough to be a part of society but just human enough to be a cannibal. His status as a human changes in what makes it easiest to disregard him as an individual worthy of respect or consideration. (Think of how conservatives misgender gender non-conforming cis people and then turn around and misgender trans people for hypocritical reasons.) 

Sukuna’s acknowledgement of both Jogo and Gojo is bittersweet with this lens. Jogo is a curse fighting on behalf of curses’ humanity. He wants curses to live as humans after being born lowly and unwanted in a world that wants him erased. Gojo is a human forced into godhood by circumstances he couldn’t control. He’s someone who became isolated and rejected by others until he stopped seeing himself as a human. Sukuna has lived both of these experiences and connects with them in a way no one else can. 

Unfortunately, because Sukuna only knows how to love through violence, he kills them. (Great job, Sukuna, you did this to yourself. You could've had friends.)

I also suspect this is why Sukuna believes this.

This type of society is one in which Sukuna can exist. He can relentlessly pursue the strength through which he builds his self-esteem and be acknowledged as something. However, that is still isolating. And Sukuna is a human, which means he’s a social creature that needs companionship. (Not necessarily romantic or sexual mind you.)

I find Sukuna’s vague suicidal ideation and refusal to die extremely relatable for all these reasons. Much like Gojo, he seems to be convinced the world will never treat him the way he wants to be treated and wants out.

There’s also something to be said about the unique loneliness aromantic and asexual people experience from wanting deep and fulfilling relationships without romance or sex in a world that only values relationships with both of those things.

So why is Sukuna like that?

Despite knowing how much it sucks to be dehumanized, Sukuna still participates in dehumanization himself, referring to humans as insects/animals or things for him to play with. 

And in a Kenjaku parallel, food for him to enjoy as well.

I predict this attitude he has towards humans is the direct result of his dehumanization and objectification for his appearance and strength. It’s all one big unhealthy coping mechanism.

I think this is why Yuji ideologically pisses him off so much. Imagine truly believing all this isolation and suffering for innate characteristics made you stronger, only to find someone who experienced none of that starts rising to your level and shatters your entire world view.

Trauma isn’t something that makes people stronger, but Sukuna likely believes it does as a cope. In my last analysis I called Gojo a sopping-wet pathetic cat who pretends everything is ok. Sukuna is no different if you ask me.

[neoballsucker]

Poison

Summary : you've got a new roommate and for your surprise he's your childhood friend's step brother and one day you go to their home town

Pairs : childhood friends!yuta x fem!reader x roommate!shotaro

Warings : SMUT, poly, threesome,dick sucking, kinda degradation, yuta is kinda mean,creamie pie,cum eating, nipple play

W.C : 3.1k.

A/N : I came back after a while and I might do individual parts for each one :/

Since you were a child you always liked your mom's friend’s son , nakamoto yuta or yuta , you two always played around like any children, you two went to the same school, and hang out with each other a lot , it was until ms.nakamoto and her husband decided to move back to Japan, it was like breaking news for you , you won't see your first love anymore, but not all the and good things remain for too long, you both said your last goodbyes to each other , yuta was one of your few friends, now who will play with you in school and who will have these sleepovers with you and play hide and seek with you , it was heartbreaking for you, but you gotta move on and find new friends.

it was hard for you to make friends since you had the fear of them leaving you and that caused anxiety,but luckily you were popular, you were popular for being smart,pretty,an athlete and religious., you were in a strictly religious family, you knew about morals,went to church,you never had sex. Your mom always told you to wait for the right time. , everybody knew you as the smart , pretty girl, boys tried asking you out but ends up escaping from them cause they wanna hookup , you graduated from high school and got a scholarship in spain , you left the country, your parents, friends, memories, to go and start a new life, that college was one of the biggest colleges in spain , you were smart , but it was filled with smart people anyways , you always got your assignments done and always got good grades , every teacher liked you, all students wanted to be your friend

“Did you hear about that new student?” Your friend asked.

“No I didn't, who is it?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“He has a brother who was really popular here for being smart and handsome , you really don't know?” Your friend asked

“No, who is that?” You asked curiously

“The new student is called osaki shotaro,and his brother is called nakamoto yuta”

“Oh , well I'm willing to see the new student then” you chuckle and roll your eyes, you thought about it for a while, the name nakamoto yuta felt familiar, you heard it before, you weren't sure if it was him but you remember he didn't have a brother

“How are they brothers?” You asked curiously

“What do you mean?” Your friend raises her eyebrows

“Like yuta’s last name is nakamoto, while shotaro’s last name is osaki , how are they siblings?” You raise your eyebrows and scratch your head

“They're probably step siblings unless one of them is adopted , it doesn't matter they're both cute” you chuckle at her comment and roll your eyes.

Time goes by the weekend comes while you were just chilling at your dorm , they informed you that the new student will be your roommate , you were just nervous, yes you had friends, but you still had anxiety talking to people was one of your worst fears , you tried calming yourself down but you couldn't help but panic and shake

It was until you heard the door unlock , you take a deep breath before you put on a smile

You heard footsteps until you saw someone come in

“Oh hello , you must be my roommate” he noted and smiles back at you

“Oh yeah it's nice to meet you I'm y/n” you offer your hand as he shakes it

“Well don't mind me , my brother is getting some of things” he says and smiles

“No it's okay, moving out must be really hard” you smile back and help him move his things

You heard footsteps once again assuming it was his brother

“Here you go , god you got a lot of things” you can hear his brother talking

“oh I'm sorry but I'm just kinda nervous, also meet my roommate, y/n come here!” he calls you out, you turn around to face the two men

“Oh hello , I'm y/n nice to meet you” you walk toward them and smile

“Oh hi y/n I'm yuta , nice to meet you too” he smiles and offers his hand, you shake his hand for few seconds and let go of his hand

And smile softly , he felt familiar, he looked familiar, you really wished it was him but at the same time not

“Okay now I'm going, have fun at your new place, take care of yourself” yuta says and hugs his brother tightly

“Thank you yuta , I'll miss you so much, take care of yourself too” he hugs his brother back you were just standing awkwardly, they finally pulled, and yuta leaves as shotaro, lock the door, he sighs and sits on the bed for a while

“I hope we become good friends” you said with a smile

“Yeah, same here !!” He smiles sweetly, gosh his smile was so cute , you wished he smiles like that forever

“Did they give you the schedule?” You asked quietly

“ahh yes they did” he smiles and hands you a paper

“Oh well have the same classes” you say excitedly

“Oh really? Well that will be nice” he says sweetly and smiles softly.

Time goes by , you and shotaro developed a really good friendship , you two hung out together a lot , ate dinner after college, studied together, some people even thought you were dating , sometimes it was funny seeing people saying that the two of you look cute together, you will admit you have a tiny crush on shotaro, but you never knew if it was just a crush or actually love , he invited you to meet his family multiple times in japan but you refuse since you have projects and work to do, he told you that him and yuta are step brothers and that his father and yuta's mother are married since they were both children, now it was understandable why their surnames were different

Days went by and the first year of college is finally done , your plans were to go to meet your family back in your mother country

Shotaro also insisted that you go with him back to Japan to meet his family, you tried to refuse multiple times but he said that his parents wanted to see you so you finally gave up and decided to meet his parents, he told you can stay at their house since they have a guest room , you packed decent clothes , that looked good ,not too formal not too casual so they don't think of her in a bad image or something, you and shotaro finally arrive to japan and yuta welcomes you two

“Yuta omg I missed you” shotaro runs to yuta and hugs him tightly both of them have a smile on their faces

“I miss you too,mom and dad miss you alot they're also waiting impatiently to meet your friend” they both look at you while you stand awkwardly while your luggage is behind you

“Oh hi yuta” you smile and wave.you can hear him chuckle

“Let me take this” he walks to take the luggage from behind you and walks forward with shotaro and you behind them ,both of them sit in the front seats while you're in the backseat , “mom told me to take you both to a restaurant since she's kinda sick to cook food” yuta says

“Is she okay yuta?” Shotaro asks in a worried tone

“Yes she is, but you know mom always overworks herself” yuta sighs and parks the car

“Okay you two get out of the car” yuta says looking at you with a soft smile , you smile back and get out of the car , you went into the restaurant, it was selling Japanese, you heard shotaro complain sometimes to yuta about how much he misses the Japanese food, everyone ordered their food and after finishing yuta paid and he drove home, he unlocks the door, his parents were sitting together watching the tv

“We're home!!” Yuta yelled excitedly

“Oh god shotaro you're home finally” his dad smiles and hugs him tightly

“I'm assuming you're y/n right?” His mom asked you , she looked familiar to you

“Ah yes I am” you smile and nod

“You look familiar oh my , it's hard to remember oh god” she stares at you for few seconds

“Oh my , you're y/n , now I remembered, I'm ms.nakamoto do you remember me? You and yuta used to play together alot” you finally realized why did she look familiar

“Oh !! Yes of course I do remember “ you smile awkwardly as she hugs you tightly

“Yuta !! Come here” she yells, as yuta walks over , his red coloured bangs nearly covering his eyes , he was beautiful as always, since you were kids they always talked about how yuta looked handsome and his charm, girls at school always had a crush on him

“What is it mom?” He questions and raises his eyebrows

“That's y/n !! , the girl you used to play with back when you were a child, remember ? Before we come here” she asks him excitedly

“ahh yes I remember now, it's nice to meet you again y/n” he smiles softly, you smile back to him and nod slightly,Mrs.nakamoto started to ask you about your life and family and talked about her memories with your mom , since they knew each other from childhood , it was nice to hear about all these things after a long time , time passes and everyone goes to bed , shotaro leads you to the room you're supposed to stay at, there wasn't a bed , shotaro looks confusedly and calls his dad

“What happened to the furniture in this room?!” Shotaro asks with a slightly annoyed tone

“Well me and your mother decided to turn it into an office or a small library” his father smiles nervously

“she can sleep at your room shotaro don't be lame” his dad says

Shotaro looks at you in an embarrassed look on his face and sighs

“Follow me y/n…goodnight dad” he says and holds one of your hands leading you to his bedroom , shotaro was always nice and smiley if anyone needed anything they depend on him since he always looks nice and smiley to everyone

He opens his room, “ welcome to my room I guess” His room was warm colored with light brown , beige , etc. , it made you feel really relaxed and chill

“Your room looks great!!” You note and look at him with a smile, h looks at you and smiles warmly, his smile makes you melt , how can he be so cute , you always wondered

“You can sleep on the bed I'll sleep on the floor” he says and sighs

“No no it's okay , we can share the bed , but if you're uncomfortable, I'll be the one sleeping on the floor”

“Well…that's better than sleeping on the floor I guess” he says and chuckles, yo smile at his joke , and both of you lay on the bed ,it wasn't that big , your hands were touching

“Goodnight y/n” he whispers and gives his back to you

“Goodnight” you say and also turn and now your back was also facing him, you don't sleep really quickly, you can feel him moving you doubt that he's asleep, he turns to your side and wraps his hand around your waist,that move made heat , you felt yourself burning,you feel his hard dick against your ass and it made it worst,he was moving and rubbing his dick against your ass for way too much but can you blame him? He was asleep, you tried moving a little but there was no space, you just gave up and tried to sleep again,his arm tightened around your waist as you feel his hard cock against your ass, you were ready to get fucked at this point, you tried to calm down take your breath and relax , with his warm breath against your neck , his cock against your ass, his arm around your waist, it was hard for you to not moan, trying to resist it, you feel his body move slightly, you pretended to be sleeping in case he woke up

“Y/n are you awake?” He says in a sleepy voice , he always knew you had troubles sleeping so there was no point of lying

“Yes I am awake, do you need anything?” You asked trying to keep your voice low

“No , I was making sure , if you're uncomfortable I can sleep on the ground” he says , his voice was also low , and it turned you on even more

“No no it's okay, you know I always have troubles sleeping it's okay” you say and smile you weren't sure if he saw you smiling cuz it was really dark, he nods and hugs you tightly and kisses your neck, you didn't even try to fight him, you feel his other hand cupping one of your butt cheeks. you moan slightly as our fingers runs through his hair, he keeps kissing your neck and squeezing your ass. You tease him by playing with his waistband

He grabs your hand and puts it on his erection , “this is how you make me feel everytime gosh” he whispers and kisses your neck, “well, can I help you get rid of your problem?” You can hear him chuckle

“Oh I'd love to.” He sits straight and unbutton his pants and removes it , you help him get rid of his pants and boxers, his dick was screaming, hard and leaking pre-cum. You put the tip in your mouth, hearing him groan and curse under his breaths

“Aah fuck , you're so good at that god” he says thrusting his hips and moan , trying to keep it low so no one can hear them, you keep sucking him off and he moans , his moans were like music to your ears , it sounded amazing like a melody , time passes and you're still in the same position sucking him off , you can hear the door open, you froze in your place as you hear footsteps in the room

“What are you two doing at this late hour?” Yuta asks shotaro

“We were just having fun yuta oh my god” shotaro says and shrugs

“Keep going y/n , who knows you can suck him off next” shotaro says and yuta chuckles

“You're really shameless” yuta says and rolls his eyes, you close your eyes tightly due the embarrassment, you can feel your face heating and getting red , you wanted to hide anytime soon

“It looks like she's good at what she's doing” yuta says and laugh

“Oh hell yeah she is , she knows how to use her mouth properly, you gotta try it yourself” shotaro says , his voice was shaky and weak due to the pleasure

“Oh , now I'm interested” yuta says, his voice is low and deeper , you keep sucking shotaro’s dick until you feel warm liquid in your mouth, you can hear him groan as he pulls his dick out of your mouth, you swallow all the cum in your mouth, you feel your hair being pulled , you guess it was yuta , he settles you between his legs, he has already removed his pants, he taps the tip Infront of your lips waiting for you to open your mouth, as you open your mouth you feel his dick in your mouth, “ you knew you can't resist now , you mom told you to wait for the right person but who listens to their moms anyway? , you start bobbing your head up and down in a slight and slow motion , you can hear him groan and moan slightly

“Fuck it , you're too good, damn you were right” yuta says in a low voice , you can hear shotaro chuckle as you suck his brother's dick , you keep sucking yuta off , he throws his head back and moans , his voice was smooth and low , it kept going like that for few minutes until you felt him come in your mouth , you pull his dick out of your mouth and lay on the floor, you felt tired and sleepy

“Not right now,babe,we still have all night long” yuta says , shotaro helps you get off the floor and makes you lay on the bed instead , he gets on the bed next to you and starts tracing kisses on neck and chest while yuta settles between your legs after removing your pants and underwear, you can feel his half-hard dick right against your entrance ,until you felt him inside you , biting your lower lips trying to hold the argue to moan, while shotaro is busy sucking one of your nipples while squeezing the other one between his thumb and index as his older brother keeps fucking you and curses under his breath.

“That shit feels good fuck” yuta says , his voice was a little shaky

“You're just a fucking toy” you couldn't even answer cause you know you won't shut your mouth after that

“Aren't you just a cock sleeve , stupid bitch” you just nod as he thrust deeper inside you, shotaro sucking your nipple didn't make the situation better , you felt like you reached your climax and close your eyes as you feel your release

“Fuck baby you made a mess” yuta whispers as he grinds faster and takes a bit of your cum with his fingers and taste you then kisses you making you taste the salty taste of your orgasm, he finally feels the urge to cum as you feel his warm seeds inside you and shotaro finally let go of your nipples, you felt exhausted but they had other plans, shotaro and yuta switchs places , shotaro settles between your legs while yuta starts kissing your lips hungrliy while shotaro enters his dick inside you, you moan inside yuta's mouth, while shotaro groans slightly as he moves slowly, he was the opposite of his brother, slow and gentle while yuta was fast and rough but you enjoyed both anyways ,as shotaro starts thrusting faster and yuta cups your breasts and pinch your nipples between his fingers , shotaro's hair falls on his face and sticks to his forehead due to the sweat, he thrusts his hips against yours , your moans were starting to get loud until yuta wraps his hands around your neck making you choke while shotaro thrusts faster now ,tears filling your eyes , vision blurry, you can't even think properly, and all you're hearing is the sound of shotaro's body slamming against yours , you feel like you reached your climax finally, your eyes roll bsck as you release all your juice , he pulls out of you and your pussy clench around nothing, while shotaro comes all on your stomach,yuta's lips captures yours as he let go of your neck , you close your eyes and breath heavily, you felt yourself passing out. You wake in clean clothes next to shotaro, his arms were wrapped around you holding you close to him, his face buried in your neck

[rubycruzin4abruzin]

I hate you, too

Summary: Ruby is your acting rival as well as your sworn enemy. When you’re cast in the same movie, you struggle with the fight choreography, an area which your co-star excels at. What will you do when you have no choice but to swallow your pride and ask her for extra help?

Pairing: ruby cruz x actress!reader

Contains: mature language, some adult humor, kissing, angst, enemies to lovers, slow burn, forced proximity, walked in on while changing, non-sexual knife play, clumsy!reader, publicity tweets, there was only One Trailer

Word Count: 6.6k (told you it’s a slow burn)

A/N: This is a Real Person Fiction, RPF Guidelines still stand. Morally, I refuse to write smut for Ruby Cruz. That being said, I miss writing smut!! Dying to write some Kit Tanthalos smut after this, if anyone has a request feel free to send it in. That being said, Ruby is always super fun to write for, and I hope y’all enjoy! :)

———

If you never saw Ruby Cruz again, it would be too soon.

You first encountered her shortly after moving to Los Angeles to pursue acting. During a meeting with your agent to discuss a contract, she entered unannounced, as if the office belonged to her.

“Hey Estelle, I’m here to pick up the ‘Mare of Easttown’ audition sides,” she stated, barely glancing in your direction.

Estelle handed her a stack of papers before introducing you. “This is Ruby Cruz, one of my regular clients. You two will likely be seeing a lot of each other.”

Ruby finally turned toward you, assessing you with her bright blue eyes that seemed to pierce through your soul. She gave you a curt smile, and offered her hand.

“Nice to meet you. Estelle’s the best; you’re gonna love her.”

You shook her hand as Estelle chuckled at the flattery, shaking her head and modestly dismissing it.

“Ruby has an audition next week for that ‘Mare of Easttown’ show… which reminds me! I think you could also be a good fit for that. We can discuss more later, but for now, let me at least get you the audition sides.”

Estelle began to gather nearby papers into a stack, stapling the corner before handing them to you. Excitement bubbled in your chest at the thought of acting in a show as notable as ‘Mare of Easttown.’

Ruby hummed, clucking her tongue as you flipped through the stack of papers. Glancing up at her from your seat, you could have sworn you saw her eyes squint, almost as if she now saw you as nothing more than competition.

“In that case, hope you break a leg.”

With a wave goodbye to Estelle, she left the office. You couldn’t place it at the time, but something about her tone felt… off.

The audition came and went, and it was just your luck that Ruby ended up landing the role. Of course, it became her breakout role, one that juiced up her resume and propelled her career.

Initially, it didn’t bother you that much; after all it was just one audition. However, given that you were both conventionally attractive actresses in the same age range, Estelle frequently recommended you for the same roles. You began to see her face at every single audition, and frankly, you were sick of it.

That’s not to say you lost every role to Ruby Cruz; sure she was your competition, but you both had your share of the limelight. She was Hazel Callahan in “Bottoms,” and you were Harper McCallington in “Out & Uncool.” While she was busy filming for “Willow” as Princess Kit Tanthalos, you starred as Empress Kian Thorne in a limited series entitled “Cottonwood.”

You were a tad jealous that Ruby landed a continuing series while yours was limited, so when you found out about “Willow” being abruptly canceled after one season, you couldn’t help but revel in the schadenfreude.

Despite your individual successes, you harbored a deep dislike for Ruby. Yes, she was pretty, with pale blue eyes and dark hair that offset her ivory skin, but watching her stride into every audition wearing that all-too-familiar smug smile only fueled your resentment and made your blood boil.

Several months after moving to LA, one particular audition day commenced with a morning from hell. You woke up groggy with your hair in a rats nest, and spent the majority of the morning battling with the bathroom mirror in an attempt to render yourself presentable. Once you could actually run a comb through it, a quick glance at a clock revealed you were running late. Hastily, you grabbed your resume, poured some of your roommates' leftover coffee into a travel mug, and dashed out the door in a race against time.

Curses flew out of your mouth while you sat in the infamous LA traffic, fingers tapping anxiously against the steering wheel while your eyes darted towards the clock.

Arriving at the audition site, you parked haphazardly and rushed to the entrance, coffee sloshing against your mug with every step. Pushing open the doors, you immediately caught sight of the very person you knew you would see but secretly wished you wouldn’t.

There was Ruby, sitting in the waiting room, too focused on studying her audition material to even notice you had walked in. She wore a white blouse with floral patterns, jeans, and white converse—an undoubtedly effortless outfit that looked so good on her, it genuinely annoyed you.

Shaking your head, you tried to push aside any thoughts of Ruby and focus on the audition. As you stepped towards the sign-in table, your notorious clumsiness struck as you mis-stepped and tripped over your own foot. Fortunately, you managed to catch yourself before face-planting, but you lost control of your mug, ending up spilling coffee all over your sworn enemy.

Ruby stood up in shock, the lukewarm liquid staining her white blouse and smudging the ink on her papers. She lifted her head, glaring at you with narrowed eyes.

“What the hell!” She exclaimed.

Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open in shock. “Shit, Ruby, I’m so…”

“You did that on purpose!”

The brewing apology halted at her accusation. Indignation swelled within you, and the urge to defend yourself took over.

“Excuse me? It was an accident! Jesus!”

“You don’t think I know you don’t like me?” She spat back. “Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

By now, everyone else in the waiting room was watching the two of you, while the stage manager at the sign-in table desperately tried to de-escalate the situation.

You felt your face flush at the unwanted attention as you attempted to lower your voice. “Ruby, I may not be your biggest fan, but I would never do something like that on purpose.”

“Oh please, I know your type. You would do anything to land a role, even if it’s underhanded!”

“For fucks sake, Ruby!” You rolled your eyes, exasperated at this conversation. “I land roles just fine on my own. Not everything is about you!”

“You’re seriously standing here telling me that ‘not everything is about me’ when you’re the one who ruined my blouse right before an audition?!”

“What is the meaning of this?!”

You and Ruby turned your heads toward the unidentified voice to see what appeared to be the director of the project standing in the doorway. He peered down at the two of you with an icy glare, while the stage manager stood next to him with her arms crossed.

A gulp involuntarily forced its way down your throat. You looked over at Ruby, who stood frozen with all the color seemingly drained from her face. Both of you waited with baited breath for the director's next move as his nostrils flared.

“Both of you. Out. Now.”

“There’s good news, and bad news.”

You and Ruby stared at Estelle from across her desk, shame and embarrassment radiating from the both of you. Last week's altercation at the audition made headlines on LA Twitter news, prompting her to call an emergency meeting to discuss next steps.

“You already know the bad news,” Estelle sighed. “Word got out about your little ‘stunt.’ As of right now, neither of you have great reputations in the Hollywood eye.”

Estelle turned to look directly at you, making you shrink in your seat. “Not many people want to work with an actor who would sabotage another actor’s audition to get a leg-up.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but immediately closed it upon seeing the look on Estelle’s face. She looked away from you, focusing her attention on Ruby next.

“And no one wants to work with a hothead who causes scenes and goes on public cursing sprees.”

Ruby squirmed under Estelle’s scrutiny, looking down at her lap to avoid eye contact.

Estelle leaned back in her chair, glancing back and forth between the two of you. “Fortunately, there is some good news.”

Your ears perked up at this, curious as to what kind of good would come out of this kind of publicity. Glancing over at Ruby, you noticed she raised her gaze while still keeping her head lowered. Estelle continued.

“Another director caught wind of the situation and contacted me immediately. Apparently, he’s been toying with this idea for a movie about two rival mafia bosses who go undercover as high school cheerleaders. He is adamant that the two of you play the leading roles.”

Shock painted your features as you attempted to process what Estelle just told you. You looked over at Ruby, who seemed just as bewildered as you.

“So, this director wants to work with two people who can’t stand each other?” She inquired.

Estelle shrugged. “I’ve been told he’s very… method. Authenticity is everything to him, no matter what the consequences. Still, people say to trust his process because he’s extremely brilliant.”

She pulled out a couple business cards and handed them to the both of you, his name in thick black font jumping out from the white background.

Calvin Cunningham. Film Director.

Calvin Cunningham turned out to be quite the character.

He was brutally honest, always saying exactly what he thought of something. He engaged with the cast and crew as if they were his best friends, but if something wasn’t up to his standards, he never hesitated to voice his dissatisfaction.

His methods were eccentric and unusual, with an unwavering commitment to authenticity. They were unorthodox, but if they proved to be effective, he couldn’t care less about the cost.

On the first day of shooting, after being given your trailer assignment, you were about to go inside when you saw something that made you stop dead in your tracks. There, hanging on the back of the trailer door, was a big gold star with two names engraved into it.

Yours… and Ruby’s.

Outraged, you turned and marched towards Calvin, only to find him already in conversation with a head of loathsome brunette locks.

“This has to be some mistake,” cried Ruby. “I can’t share a trailer with her!”

“Ditto.” You piped up, moving to stand next to your rival.

Calvin shook his head. “No mistake. You guys can’t stand each other, and I want to maintain that energy throughout filming. I figured some forced proximity could help to fuel that fire.”

“Please, Calvin. I will literally share with anyone else,” you pleaded, words falling on deaf ears as Calvin simply turned and walked away from the two of you.

Ruby turned to glare at you with shrunken pupils, and you reciprocated with a side-eye right back. As you both began your way over to your shared trailer, you couldn’t help but acknowledge: this might be the first time you and Ruby actually agreed on something.

Filming was going well, all things considered. You and Ruby spent your days on set, hashing out all your hatred towards each other in front of the camera, and then pretty much ignored each other otherwise.

Changing could be slightly awkward, given the shared trailer, but you and Ruby had an unspoken agreement to keep to yourselves. Nevertheless, the trailer was a tight space, allowing you to see everything within your peripheral vision. Despite your disdain for Ruby, you couldn’t help but admire the delicate curve of her tapered waist and how it contrasted against her toned stomach. Even you could appreciate how her hair became disheveled every time she lifted a clothing item over her head, prompting her to shake it out until her short tresses tumbled over her shoulder.

You chalked it up to vanity, but sometimes you swore you caught her checking you out from the corner of her eye, too.

One day, while checking your schedule for the upcoming week, you noticed a choreography rehearsal planned for the big knife fight scene towards the end of the movie. Dread immediately consumed you, settling in your stomach like a boulder reaching the bottom of a hill.

It wasn’t because you were worried about getting into a knife fight with Ruby; you knew the weapons were harmless props and posed no threat to your safety. You dreaded any kind of choreography rehearsal, as you were notoriously an uncoordinated klutz. It was like you bore a curse of delayed reaction times and two left feet—a burden that weighed on your shoulders like an anchor.

On the day of the rehearsal, you walked into the stunt room to see Ruby already there, stretching in yoga pants and a crop top that hung just below her ribcage. Calvin stood in the corner conversing with the choreographer, Lucas: an effeminate man with a muscular build that offset his short stature.

Minutes after you started stretching, Lucas blew his whistle, calling you and Ruby over to the center of the room.

“Hey guys! Hope you’re as excited as I am to do some fight choreography.” He chirped, flashing a toothy grin.

While Lucas spoke, your attention shifted to Ruby. She stood confidently, her hands resting on her hips as she listened for instructions. You rolled your eyes. Of course she was confident, she had plenty of combat training during “Willow,” and even more during “Bottoms.”

As much as you hated to admit it, this was one area where Ruby outshone you.

“In this scene,” Lucas explained, handing each of you a prop knife labeled with your characters names. “Quinn and Gia both realize they’re from rival mafia families, and draw their weapons at the regional cheer competition.”

You turned the knife over in your hand, running your thumb over the “Quinn” sticker on the handle. “Is this… a real knife?”

Lucas nodded. “Yes, but it’s been dulled for your safety. Don’t worry.”

You breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing your lack of coordination posed less of a threat now.

Lucas continued. “For the first part, Quinn, advance towards Gia with the knife raised, like you want to slit her throat. Gia, sidestep and dodge her attack.”

You positioned your knife and lunged at Ruby, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding after she successfully avoided the blade.

Lucas nodded in approval. “Great! Now Gia, advance towards Quinn with your weapon, and she’ll block and engage.”

Ruby lunged at you, but when you tried to block her attack, the knife slipped from your grip and fell from your hand. Your face flushed as you stared at the blade, now lying on the plush mat.

“What was that?” Calvin interrupted, still watching from the corner of the room.

Lucas shot him a sheepish grin. “It’s ok, Calvin. It’s just the first rehearsal.”

Calvin grumbled incoherently as you bent down to pick up your knife. You noticed Ruby’s lips curl into a subtle smirk at your mishap, provoking an eye-roll from you.

“Let’s try that again,” Lucas stated. “This time, Gia, why don’t you try advancing a little slower?”

Ruby nodded, and moved towards you seemingly in slow-motion. This time, you managed the block successfully and engaged your weapons without issue.

Lucas beamed in approval. “Great! Let’s move on.”

He went on with instructions, leading you through the engagement of your weapons. Despite the slow pace, you repeatedly made a fool of yourself throughout the entire rehearsal. Sweaty palms hindered your grip on the knife, and you even managed to confuse your left from your right. Calvin stood fuming in the corner, while Ruby’s initially smug demeanor gradually turned into one of annoyance.

“Alright,” Lucas started, wiping his brow and forcing a tight smile. “For this last part, Gia, focus on disarming your opponent, and then tackle her. Quinn, this should be pretty easy. All you have to do is keep yourself open and fall.”

You gulped and assumed the ‘ready’ position, locking eyes with Ruby. She advanced, carefully redirecting your blade before grabbing your shoulders to push you onto your back. Unfortunately, as you were going down, a misstep caused you to lose your footing. Your arms flailed out of instinct, and in the search for stability, you inadvertently dragged the blade across Ruby’s cheek, leaving a bright red cut in its wake.

Startled, she hissed and dropped you onto the mat, hands moving to cradle her injured cheek. “Ouch! What the hell?!”

Calvin and Lucas rushed to Ruby’s side while you stared at your freshly-bloodied knife and tried to process what had just happened. “I thought you said they were dulled!”

“Well yeah, but they’re still real knives!” Lucas exclaimed, moving Ruby’s hand to see the cut.

A stream of apologies flew from your mouth immediately, but Ruby only responded with an icy glare and Calvin mumbled something about the makeup artist before storming out of the room. A lump rose to your throat as you blinked back tears, humiliated and filled with guilt. Once again, your clumsiness managed to ruin things for the people around you.

As you got up to leave the room, you looked back and met Ruby’s gaze. This time, instead of annoyance or anger, her face held only a look of pity as she watched you walk away.

At the end of the day, after you and Ruby were no longer needed on set, you found yourself standing outside your shared trailer, hands wringing in anticipation for what you were about to do.

Despite your best efforts, you knew your struggle to grasp the fight choreography was impeding production. Ruby, on the other hand, excelled at stage combat. You needed the extra practice, and Lucas had already gone home. After several hours of contemplation, you resolved to set aside your pride and seek help from your sworn enemy.

With a deep breath, you entered the trailer. Ruby was already inside, dressed in yoga pants and a sports bra, clearly in the middle of changing. You felt your cheeks flush as she spun around, revealing a neon green band-aid on her right cheek.

“Ever heard of knocking?” She spat, covering herself defensively.

Your brows furrowed in disbelief. “It’s my trailer too!”

She scoffed, turning around to finish putting her shirt on. You sighed, knowing the odds were already not in your favor.

“Fine, I’m sorry,” you began, prompting her to look back at you, puzzled. “Not about the trailer, but about the knife, and the coffee, and just… everything. I know you think I’m out to get you, but I’m not, I’m just really accident-prone, and for that I’m sorry.”

Her gaze softened slightly, and she nodded, silently accepting your apology. You continued, avoiding eye contact for what you were about to ask.

“Listen… I need your help.”

Your words took her by surprise. “With what?”

“Fight choreography,” you pressed. “I know we don’t really get along, and I wouldn’t ask if I had literally any other option, but you’re incredible at stage combat. Please, I could really use the practice.

“No argument there,” she snarled. “But why should I help you?”

“Because we’re co-stars, if I look good, you look good. Besides, do you really want to risk another one of those?” You gestured to the band-aid on her cheek.

Ruby touched the bandaged wound, wincing from the pain.

Defeated, she groaned. “Fine, I’ll help you, but only on two conditions.”

She stepped closer until she was inches from your face, close enough that her warm breath grazed your skin. You felt the sharp jab of her finger in your chest as she locked eyes with you.

“First, during training, you do everything I say, exactly as I say it. And second…” she moved back, crossing her arms with a smirk. “…you owe me a favor.”

“Okay,” you shrugged. “What do you want?”

“I’ll let you know when I think of something,” she replied. “As of right now, we have a fight to train for.”

You followed her to the stunt room, now fully unoccupied as most of the crew had gone home. Ruby switched on the lights and made her way to the props table while you took your spot on one of the mats.

“Hmm,” she scrunched up her nose as she picked up the knives you had used to train earlier. “I really don’t trust you with a weapon right now. No offense.”

“None taken,” you replied, pleasantly surprised at the lack of offense.

Ruby moved around the room in search of a safer substitute. She ended up at a supply cabinet, and sifted through it until she proudly held up a miniature pool noodle.

“Noodles!” She announced, grabbing one and handing you another.

“Perfect,” you exhaled, relieved.

Ruby assumed the ‘ready’ position across from you while you mirrored her stance, gripping the pool noodle as if it were your knife.

“Alright,” she started. “Why don’t we skip the exposition, since there’s no issues there. Let’s jump to the weapon engagement.”

You stepped forward, engaging with Ruby’s noodle. She nodded in approval before continuing the choreography.

“Left, right, no… right. Wait… do you not know your left from your right?”

Embarrassed, you dropped your gaze to the mat. “I do… I just… have to stop and think about it sometimes…”

Ruby chuckled, rolling her eyes. “I am totally going to give you shit about that later, but for now, let’s just work on muscle memory.”

She moved behind you, reaching around to take hold of your wrists before leaning into whisper. “Is this ok?”

A shudder traveled down your spine as her breath tickled your ear, a subtle expression you prayed she didn’t notice. “Y-yeah… you’re good.”

The way her fingertips brushed so gently against your skin felt like a million tiny shocks of electricity, but you couldn’t for the life of you figure out why.

“Left, right, left-left, right,” she guided your dominant hand through the movements. “Over, under, around and right.”

She repeated the sequence once more before letting go of you, stepping back to observe. “Show it to me.”

You demonstrated flawlessly, earning a beam of approval.

“Good. Let’s move on.”

From there, Ruby continued to guide you through the combat sequence in its entirety, stopping repeatedly to work out the kinks and offer helpful tips. She taught you where to hold your body weight so you didn’t stumble, and even showed you how to look like you fell on purpose, if necessary. As much as you hated the girl, you had to admit, she was a pretty good teacher.

Eventually, after hours of training, you reached the last step of the routine. Both of you were drenched in sweat and panting hard, but determined to make it to the end.

“Now…” Ruby rested her hands on her knees as she attempted to catch her breath. “Last but not least: the fall. So to start, I push down on your shoulders…”

She placed her hands near your collarbone and gently pushed, causing your arms to flail and smack her with the pool noodle. Immediately letting go of you, she took a step back with her hands up. You froze, expecting her to yell at you, but to your surprise she threw her head back in laughter.

“And that…” she pointed to the band-aid on her cheek “…is how this happened.”

You forced a nervous giggle in response as you stared at her hysterical disposition. Her laugh was crisp, almost melodic, like windchimes in a summer breeze. You weren’t quite sure what she found so funny; perhaps she was so tired from the long rehearsal, she collapsed into a state of hysteria.

Ruby calmed down after a minute or two, wiping away a tear as her breathing subsided. “So, I’m guessing you don’t like having your shoulders touched?”

You shook your head. “It’s not that. I guess it just feels constricting to have someone pushing me while I’m trying to fall safely.”

She clicked her tongue, seemingly deep in thought. “Hmm… why don’t we modify it a little bit? I could push you by your hips, let you fall, and then pin you down.”

“Can we do that?” You asked, concerned about getting into trouble again.

“Yeah, it’s not a huge change. I’m sure Lucas won’t mind. Besides, actor safety is always number one priority… and that includes my own.” She gestured to her cheek again with a lopsided smirk, prompting you to grimace apologetically.

You centered your body weight as she approached you, grasping your sides before letting her fingers wrap around your hip bones. She met your eyes, searching for approval.

“Better?” She asked.

Your voice came out hoarse, almost a whisper. “Yeah. Much better.”

“The most important thing,” she explained, “is to keep your body open.”

She moved her hands from your hips up to your arms, positioning them until they were spread out on each side, as if you were preparing for a big hug.

“When I disarm you, move your arms to the side like this. That way, you’ll have more control over a fall, and I’ll have less chance of getting cut.”

You nodded in understanding as she took a step back, preparing for the attack.

“Slow motion, ok? No rush.”

She carefully walked towards you and grabbed your hips, pushing with gentle pressure. Keeping your body open, you fell safely to the mat, back flat on the floor and arms spread out to your sides.

Ruby stood over you wearing a look of pride and satisfaction before offering out her hand to help you up from the mat.

“Wow,” she exclaimed with a breathless chuckle. “I’m a really great teacher.”

You rolled your eyes at her familiar cocky attitude. “Mhm… so, is that it?”

“Not yet. One more time, from the top. Let’s put it all together.”

“Full speed?” You asked, getting into position.

She wiped a bead of sweat from her brow, breathing heavily as she moved to stand across from you. “Don’t you dare hold back.”

On her count, you lunged at her with your noodle before she sidestepped and dodged the attack. She reciprocated with an advance of her own, prompting you to block it and successfully engage your props.

“Left, right, left-left, right,” she called out. “Over, under, around and right.”

The two of you continued sparring, each movement now pristine and polished. Droplets of sweat scattered from your skin as your props flew at lightning speed, every advance met with a clean block or countered with the appropriate attack. It was like your bodies were in perfect sync, months of built up tension finally surfacing to glide seamlessly through combat.

As you reached the end of the routine, Ruby expelled your weapon, disarming you and prompting your arms to extend. She seized your hips, fingertips pressing into your plush sides, and pushed until you could fall safely. Back now flat against the mat, she crawled on top of you, straddling your hips while planting her hands on either side of your head.

Time seemingly froze as Ruby hovered above you, keeping you trapped underneath her. Her face was close, so close that you were panting into each other's mouths. You stared up at her, noticing her bright blue eyes had turned significantly darker, and you swore, just for a split second, you saw them glance down at your lips.

“You…” she panted, breathless. “Y-you…”

Your heart pounded in your chest, flustered from the mix of adrenalines. “W-what about me?”

“You… you smell… so bad.”

With that, she immediately picked herself off of you, leaving you lying in a heap on the mat.

Annoyed and confused, you sat up to glare at her. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” she turned away from you and cracked her back. “We’ve been in here for awhile, and you really need a shower.”

“Look who’s talking,” you spat back. “Your hair is literally sticking to your forehead!”

She reached up, awkwardly brushing her hair out of her face while mumbling something incoherent. It was like the air around you had suddenly turned thick with tension, neither of you daring to speak up for fear of saying what you were both thinking.

You decided to break the silence. “What time is it?”

Ruby glanced at her watch. “Almost 1am.”

“Shit,” you responded, not realizing it had gotten so late. “Guess we should…”

“Yeah,” she cut you off.

Without another word, the two of you gathered your things to leave for the evening. On the way out, neither of you offered a “bye” or “see you tomorrow,” but both of you turned to glance back when the other wasn’t looking.

For the remainder of the week, you and Ruby avoided each other like the plague, but not necessarily in the way you had previously. Before, there was always a palpable negative energy looming between the two of you, something Calvin could exploit for the cameras. Now, your scenes read awkwardly, both of you too preoccupied the events of the other night to properly engage in animosity.

This shift in dynamic didn’t go unnoticed by the cast and crew, especially Calvin, who never hesitated to hide his frustration. He desperately sought chemistry, and realized that forcing you to share a trailer wasn’t cutting it anymore. At this point, he was willing to do whatever it took to reignite that spark.

One day, Calvin informed you that lunch would be served in the stunt room. It seemed odd, food being served in the industry equivalent to a trampoline park, but Calvin typically had some rationale behind his unconventional ideas, so you didn’t question it.

When lunch break rolled around, you walked into the stunt room to find it completely dark and empty, aside from Ruby, who stood in the center of the room looking confused. Upon seeing you, she froze.

“Uh… hey.” She muttered, pointing her gaze to the floor.

“Hey yourself,” you replied awkwardly. “Uhm, did Calvin tell you lunch was being served here?”

“Yeah, actually,” she furrowed her brow, glancing around the room. “But I haven’t seen any caterers or anything.”

“Weird, I wonder why he would-“

Suddenly, you were cut off by a door slam, followed by the sharp click of a lock. You and Ruby stared at each other, panic-stricken on your faces before rushing to try the door handle.

“What the… hey! Let us out!” Ruby shouted, pounding on the door after the handle wouldn’t budge.

As you watched Ruby struggle against the door, realization hit you like a ton of bricks. “Calvin!”

“What are you talking about?” Ruby growled.

“Think about it,” you explained. “He’s been frustrated with us all week, our scenes have sucked, he lied to both of us…”

Giving up on the door, Ruby leaned against it and turned to glare at you. “You think he locked us in here on purpose?”

You shot her a knowing look. She groaned frustratedly, squeezing her eyes shut and throwing her head back against the door.

“That is exactly something he would do,” she exclaimed.

“Someone’s going to sue that man one day,” you huffed.

Ruby snickered in agreement. “Why don’t we?”

“Pretty sure that would require us to actually talk to each other.”

Silence fell between the two of you, as what was supposed to be a lighthearted joke turned into you accidentally addressing the elephant in the room.

“It’s not like we ever talked much before…” Ruby muttered, breaking the silence.

“That’s not true,” you argued. “We used to bicker constantly. Now we’re just… weird.”

“This whole week has been weird.” Ruby agreed.

“Why?” You pushed, squinting at her. “You helped me out with a fight scene, and now we’re like two twelve-year-olds at a middle school dance. How does that make sense?”

“I don’t know! I just…” Ruby sighed exasperatedly, and put her head in her hands.

Your gaze softened as you realized the brunette was struggling with her words. Usually, she radiated confidence, an attribute of hers that made you burn with jealousy. Now, she exuberated hesitance like you’d never seen, with her body backed up against the door and her face covered with her hands.

You took a step towards her, and spoke softly. “Ruby, you and I both know we’re not getting out of here until we start talking.”

Realizing you had a point, Ruby groaned and dropped her hands. She refused to look you in the eye, instead opting to stare at your feet while she searched for the right words.

“When we were… fighting,” she began, chewing on each word as if it were molasses. “There was a moment where… I had you pinned…”

She swallowed involuntarily at the blatant description. Your face flushed, but you nodded in an attempt to coax more out of her.

“I was looking down at you… and… I guess… I just realized… maybe I don’t… hate you… as much as I thought I did.”

The moisture drained from your mouth as her confession caught you completely off guard. Half of you had the urge to make fun of her, and the other half just wanted to grab her shoulders and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe.

Instead, you decided to probe on. “You don’t?”

“I don’t think I ever did,” she confessed in a half-whisper. “I never really got to know you before, I think I just… saw you as competition. I mean, you were at every audition, how could I not? I think my mind just filled in the blanks? I don’t know.”

“Well, what do you know?” You asked, moving closer and causing her breath to hitch as she was caught between you and the door.

“I think… no, I know… you don’t… hate me either?”

She apprehensively searched your features for an answer, as what was supposed to be a statement came out as more of a question. You nodded, prompting her to exhale in relief before continuing.

“I know that I don’t have to see you as competition. I know that it may have taken me a while to realize it, but the time we’ve spent together on set has been the best month of my life. I know that I hate feeling vulnerable, so if you ever tell anyone about this I’ll deny it… and then I probably actually will hate you.”

You chuckled at her joke, and she began to relax as a warm smile spread across her face. By now, you had moved close enough that your faces were mere inches from each other, and you could just barely hear her breathing over the pounding of your heartbeat.

“So… what now?” You asked, secretly hoping for one specific answer.

She glanced down at your lips, eyeing them hungrily as she hesitated. “I, uh… I think I know… what I want that favor to be.”

Your eyes widened, surprised at her sudden bold demeanor. But as you gazed at her flushed cheeks, her parted lips, and eyes filled with a mixture of longing and apprehension, you knew there was nothing in the world that could stop you from fulfilling that favor.

Grabbing her jaw, you brought her face closer and crashed your lips together. A small gasp escaped her lips at first, but she soon grasped at your sides and started to kiss back. Her lips were soft, but her kisses were rough and passionate, something you weren’t surprised at given her usual fiery personality.

Her middle finger wrapped around one of the belt loops on your jeans, giving her leverage to pull you closer to her. A quiet whimper erupted from the back of your throat, the feeling of her body pressed against yours being enough to make your knees buckle. You grabbed onto the back of her neck for support, simultaneously pulling her towards you even more and spurring moans of approval from your newfound lover.

Eventually, you pulled apart, both of you gasping to catch your breath, but neither of you letting go of the other. As you stood there, wrapped in Ruby’s embrace, you couldn’t help but survey her features. Her eyes had darkened from overwhelming desire, and her lips were pink and puffy, coated with your saliva. Her originally shiny brunette locks were now disheveled, stray hairs sticking out from the static electricity of being thrust against the door.

She was a mess, but in that moment, you swore you had never seen anything more beautiful.

A breathy chuckle left her parted lips, breaking the silence. “I, uh… I was actually just gonna ask if you knew how to pick a lock.”

Your jaw dropped in shock as you stared at her, completely dumbfounded. “Are you serious?”

She shook her head no, erupting into laughter at her own joke. You glared at her, unamused, but soon found yourself stifling a giggle. Enemies or otherwise, Ruby was always going to be a sarcastic hothead, and nothing could change that.

“Wow…” she sighed breathlessly.

“I know…” you agreed. “Guess we should thank Calvin, huh?”

Ruby began to chuckle before her eyes suddenly widened in horror. “Shit, Calvin!”

“Yeah?” You questioned, confused at her change in demeanor. “What about Calvin?”

“He casted us together because we hated each other,” she whisper-screamed, eyes darting between you and the locked door. “Everything he’s done has been to fuel the fire: forcing us to share a trailer, locking us in here! He wants us to hate each other, he doesn’t care what it takes! If he finds out about this…”

Panic washed over you as your mind swarmed with possible things Calvin would do to taint your relationship if he found out about your feelings for each other.

“Shit,” you exclaimed. “What do we do?”

Ruby pursed her lips, deep in thought as she racked her brain for ideas. Suddenly, as if a lightbulb went off in her head, she turned to you with a wicked grin.

“We’re actors,” she replied. “We act.”

Gripping your shoulders, she walked you backwards before letting go and returning to her original position. Confusion painted your features; you didn’t know what Ruby was up to, but you were curious to find out.

“You are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met,” she exclaimed loudly. “In fact, you’re the last person I’d ever want to be stuck filming with!”

Her sudden shift in attitude left you puzzled and a little hurt, but you quickly understood her intentions after she shot you a sly wink.

“Oh yeah?” You retorted, playing along. “Right back atcha! In fact, if I never saw you again, it’d be too soon!”

Ruby stifled a laugh before quickly getting back into character. “I hate you!”

“I hate you more!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

At this last remark, the sharp click of the lock sounded again, and the door swung open. Calvin stood in the doorway, a huge ear-to-ear grin spread across his face.

“Welcome back, you two.”

He left the door open, and motioned for you to follow him out. You started to exit the room, but as soon as Calvin’s back was turned, Ruby grabbed your wrist and spun you around to capture your lips in hers once again.

A sharp inhale echoed against the back of your throat as she took you by surprise, but you pulled her close and kissed her back in a heartbeat. This kiss was different from the last, with the newfound excitement mixing with the terrifying prospect of being caught. The rush of adrenalines had never tasted so sweet.

Ruby pulled back with haste, immediately looking over her shoulder to make sure Calvin didn’t see. When the coast was clear, she turned back to you with half-lidded eyes.

“I hate you,” she muttered, a goofy grin spreading across her face.

You giggled, covering your mouth to suppress the sound before leaning in to whisper in her ear.

“I hate you, too.”

[hadesisqueer]

Okay, so I finished JWCT and-- it was a great season.

Ben was awesome this season. All the mentions to how much he'd grown were funny, and the Big Ben joke was as well. I really liked him and his moments with Darius and Yaz, most of all with Yaz; I always enjoyed their friendship, and I loved how they talked about their feelings again. Also-- he has a girlfriend? A girlfriend?

Kenji's moments confronting his father and not letting himself be manipulated again were among my favorites this season. His conflict with Darius and their brotherly moments were cool to watch. Darius' whole arc, his grief and guilt over Brooklynn's supposed death was among my favorite arcs this season.

Yaz and Sammy were awesome in general, both individually and as a couple. Yaz is my favorite character, and I loved her arc. As someone with PTSD myself, I am very pleased with how the show didn't shy away from it and fully saying "PTSD". Personally, I am pretty happy that Yaz's PTSD was handled so realistically and with such care. Sammy was a badass this season, and her feelings and anxiety while dealing with Yaz apparently pulling away, her grief over Brooklynn's supposed death and the fact that her parents for some reason don't talk to her were handled realistically. I specifically wanna know what happened between her and her parents, because she adored her family and her family adored her as well back in CC; I really wonder what the conflict is that they're not talking anymore. Yasammy as a couple is awesome as well, as I said: their conflict is handled very well and you can understand both sides. The resolution was great and their moments in general were awesome. They're still easily the best couple of this show (not that it had a lot of competition), and probably one of the best in animated media in general. I love them.

Brooklynn being alive at the end? I think everyone called it, lmao. My girl is far too cool to just die, sorry, she can't die. I can't wait to see the others find out and their reunion.

Now, my thoughts about the other ships this season-- Brookenji and Dinostar lmao? I cheered when I found out Brookenji broke up; I was never a fan of the couple, sorry, it was TOO forced. Now, the whole Dinostar thing-- I was a bit suspicious of the way Darius was acting about Brooklynn and all, but I didn't think they were actually gonna have him admit he was in love with her, so that took me by surprise. I know they said it was unrequited, but yeah I don't buy that. I'm predicting it: it will turn out that it's not unrequited, that Brooklynn actually has feelings for him and they're going to pull a love triangle between her, Darius and Kenji. Pfff, it's like I'm seeing it. I'm really not a fan of love triangles tbh. But if it happens (and it's probably gonna happen, I can see it coming), I hope it ends up with Dinostar endgame instead of Brookenji. Like I already said, I really don't like Brookenji. And I've always been more neutral with Dinostar (and Benrius; I like, them too but don't pay them that much mind). I liked Dinostar platonically a lot, and while I didn't care much of it, I also never minded the idea of them becoming a couple. In fact, Brookenji took me by surprise while watching the show because to me if they were gonna pair Brooklynn with someone, I always thought it'd be Darius rather than Kenji, because I thought they made more sense. So, yeah, if it's Brookenji or Dinostar, Dinostar all the way for me lmao. Still not looking forward to the love triangle if it happens lol.

Also, Bumpy being a mom. Fave moment of the season.

Anyway, I need a second season. Like, right now.

[celestialtarot11]

Composite/Synastry Chart Observations & aspects 🪻🤍☁️

Hi friends! 🫶🤍 We’re going over composite chart observations. I really love looking into synastry and composite charts as there is so much to learn from. Enjoy! Please reblog, like and share your thoughts with me as it’s appreciated 💌

🖱️Composite Observations🖱️

Sun in the 10h- The father may be involved in the connection or relationship somehow. Whether it’s in a positive way or negative, the 10h can suggest the Fathers focus is on the relationship. Usually the father has strict roles, expectations, and is invasive in the relationship. If mars is placed here, the Father is aggressive, authoritative or has high standards. Its easy for the father to project his way of thinking onto the connection.

Scorpio mercury- Telepathy. Strong telepathy is associated with this placement, hidden knowledge comes to light in the connection through dreams, and intuition. It can also indicate a sense of privacy in the relationship, not being public, moving away from family roots/home to live a private life with the significant other. Or friend!

Moon in the 12h- Lots of emotional healing, transformation and realizations. Usually the 12h represents separation, retreat, isolation and healing in that, so the connection can experience breaks or endings. The 12h goes back to womb, where we were isolated, growing and life was being sustained. I think in this placement both learn to balance being with each other and alone to heal.

Chiron in the 1st- Healing insecurities regarding physical appearance, health, and the identity. In the connection both people go through awakenings and realizations about their values, beliefs and subconscious behaviors. Its possible someone could end up having a surgery as seen with this placement and it may highlight insecurities within the person.

Venus in virgo- Relationship is built off of some sort of practicality, help or function. For example you may have met this person because you needed their help, or they needed. Virgo is analytical here, so its possible someone was thinking of a future with this person. Likely would have been friends before lovers.

Aspects and how they influence the connection in synastry:

Whilst houses and signs are relevant, aspects are important because they show us how the individual/s show up in the connection. Houses and signs are expressions of energy, where/how it’s expressing itself. But aspects have to do with individuals.

🤍 Moon square ascendant- The moon person can bottle up their feelings in the connection towards the ascendant person, and may project their hurt instead of turning inwards to heal it. This can show up as the moon person finding faults in the ascendant person.

☁️Ascendant square Venus- The ascendant person may struggle with their values when it comes to love, either through codependency or shutting out love. The ascendant person if dealing with insecurities, can feel insignificant and compare themselves to the Venus person. The ascendant person may also have a striking first impression on the Venus person.

🪻Mars sextile ascendant- The mars person awakens the ascendant person. The energy here flows optimally and smoothly, and the ascendant person finds themselves enjoying the Mars persons influence. The mars person is captivating, powerful, and their energy is impactful on the ascendant person. Even if paired with water sign synastry, there will always be an underlying tone to the Mars person, in which they appear magnetic, fiery, and passionate. The mars person may be into fitness.

💌 Venus trine ascendant- The Venus person makes an appealing impression on the ascendant person. The ascendant person feels comfortable, cared for, and seen in a way by the Venus person. Also indicates the two have a lot in common, shared goals, shared experiences, and future ideas which causes them to bond. Shared belief systems. Family systems/childhood experiences may appear similar. Venus person may be into beauty of some kind!

☁️ Sun sextile moon- The sun person helps bring clarity, truth, and vitality to the moon person. Out of the dark, can the moon person find their peace and truth. When the moon person is with the sun, they feel accepted, harmonious, and present. The subconscious and conscious are balanced here, both have a willingness to learn from their past and heal from their mistakes. The sun person can be a teacher or someone who harbors a lot of philosophical knowledge.

🪻 Moon conjunct mercury- The moon person has a way of appealing to the mercury person, certain topics are easily had because the mercury person feels safe. The moon person organizes a calm and blissful space, and the mercury person opens up. There’s bliss, peace and spiritual communication between the two. The two almost read minds. Mercury person helps bring analysis to the moon persons emotions.

🤍 Mercury trine sun- The mercury person helps the sun person feel confident and seen. A bit of an ego boost as well. The sun person can help channel the mercury persons passions, and offer them a beautiful space for their creativity. The sun person loves to learn and listen to the mercury person. Lots of jokes and inner child healing. The sun person can share a lot of wisdom to the mercury person, and the mercury person bounces off of it with their ideas.

🪻 Neptune trine moon- The Neptune person is highly receptive of moods, emotions and spiritual telepathy. The moon person feels in touch with their deeper roots or spiritual self around the Neptune person. There may be illusions surrounding the dynamic, and emotional limitations will present itself to be healed. Be wary of rose colored glasses with this person and the connection! Overall it can be healed with attention and care 💗

☁️ Venus conjunct Jupiter- Lots of expansion and spiritual knowledge is gained through the connection. Usually the Jupiter person can have access to higher knowledge like college, but does not have to be. For example they may be well versed in a certain topic that appeals to the Venus person (shared interests) and its how they click. Somehow, the two keep adding on and on to the conversation and it flows.

Square aspects indicate growth and development. The moments of self actualization. Squares are not bad! They are fundamental to relationships and our inner journey as individuals. Where you have squares in your chart is actually your greatest power and strength.

That’s all! Thank ya’ll for reading & stopping by ☁️🤍 means the world to share this with you all. Please feel free to like comment and reblog! 🖱️🤍

Paid readings💗

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

I have no other place to yap this to so I apologise in advance.

I find it interesting in Alhaitham and Kaveh’s voicelines they tend to talk about each other A LOT in a way of complaining. Such as in Alhaitham’s Good night voiceline where he says that he’d prefer that Kaveh wouldn’t be home at all because all the chaos and noise he makes in the dead of the night. Or in Kaveh’s Good Morning voiceline where he says that he hopes that you don't run into someone who ruins your day first thing in the morning.

I guess it’s what makes other people think that they despise each other’s company. Yet they’re always viewed as a pair and Alhaitham could’ve kicked Kaveh out of the house ages ago. But what’s your opinion on that?

Hiya! there's no need to apologise, this is a safe space for all haikaveh! When I tell you your ask is scratching my brain I mean ITCHING, I have so many thoughts about this part of their dynamic so thank you for enabling me <3 This turned out to be rather long, so I hope it’s helpful to you!

The contention in both Alhaitham and Kaveh’s character stories and voice lines seems to be to create intrigue about the two as individuals, and, in turn, their relationship.

Alhaitham’s ‘good night’ voice line instantly serves as a contradiction to his character. It’s interesting, and telling, that Alhaitham, who is essentially Kaveh’s landlord, and mentions this within his fourth character story, alludes to Kaveh by using ‘roommate’ rather than ‘tenant’. ‘Landlord’ evokes a position of authority over the tenant, whereas ‘roommate’ indicates an equality between two people sharing a house – since it’s Alhaitham who advocates for the term ‘roommate’, it’s telling that, as opposed to what Kaveh believes, Alhaitham wants to establish equality between them.

In terms of what Alhaitham says in this voice line, it explicitly raises a contradiction in the form of a question: if Alhaitham is truly bothered by his roommate’s antics, why doesn’t he simply evict Kaveh?

This is relevant as this question is also posed when we initially meet Kaveh within the Archon Quest, as Kaveh states he dislikes Alhaitham’s personality, to which Alhaitham responds by saying if he bothers Kaveh so much, Kaveh always has the option to move out of the house – to which Kaveh perceives as a threat, only to then dismiss this as Alhaitham ‘changing the subject’, which seems to mean that this ‘threat’ is taken as baseless. As this isn’t called back to, this seems to be the case.

There is no real threat of eviction, and regardless of their disputes, Alhaitham ultimately gives Kaveh no ultimatum to move out. In fact, as discussed here (page 27), as we are meeting Alhaitham and Kaveh for the first time, Alhaitham allowing Kaveh to live with him contradicts his established character of living a life free of inconvenience. This instantly creates intrigue around his and Kaveh’s dynamic – who is Kaveh to Alhaitham for this exception to be made to Alhaitham’s peaceful way of life?

(An additional note of interest is that Alhaitham’s solution to the noise problem seems to be more uncomfortable than calling on Kaveh and telling him to stop his work. Alhaitham says that he’d rather not wear his noise-cancelling earpieces to bed, implying that he does so when noise is a problem at night. However, there’s no mention of Kaveh being stubborn when confronting this issue, which is why he takes to wearing his ear pieces, or any mention of confrontation at all. From this voice-line, it seems that Alhaitham avoids interaction by opting for the least comfortable option, which can be a contradiction to his character. As this is a rather brief voice-line, it’s difficult to ascertain why, but I like the idea that Kaveh is productive at night, and Alhaitham prefers not to impose on Kaveh’s work process – but this is more a headcanon than evidenced interpretation.)

Returning back to the contradiction within this voice-line, at a surface glance, this does appear to be a general complaint about Kaveh, and this can be found in Alhaitham’s lines about Kaveh, and also when discussing Tighnari. Alhaitham refers to Kaveh as ‘overly sensitive’, and ‘constantly making a fuss’.

These can easily read solely as complaints, but when looking to the original CN translation, another interpretation can be found here. Alhaitham describes Kaveh as ‘caring’ or ‘tender’, which is exactly how Kaveh is described within the 3.6 special program (as per minimushiroom on twt), which can allude to how Kaveh is considerate to a fault, in that this serves as a detriment to himself.

This can be seen in Alhaitham’s other Kaveh-centred voice-line, in which he describes Kaveh buying keychains in order to provide meals for sick children, even though healthcare is free in Sumeru. Alhaitham clearly holds the view that this was a redundant action, as Kaveh, being in debt, most likely doesn’t have the money to spend on such investments that are, evidently, dubious.

As Alhaitham provides a rational view here, this contrasts with Kaveh’s act of generosity fuelled by emotion – which highlights the contention Alhaitham has with Kaveh, in that Kaveh places himself in dangerous situations for the sake of others. However, as this can be perceived as a solely derisive line, this essential context is lacking, and can be easily misconstrued. (I think the EN translation here also coincides with this narrative, as minimushiroom notes that the original CN has Alhaitham refer to Kaveh’s sensitivity in a positive way, rather than contemptuously, as the English can be interpreted as.)

Kaveh, similarly, can be seen to complain about Alhaitham in his own voice-lines. This can be seen in the 'Good Morning' voice-line you've mentioned, where Kaveh complains about having to see Alhaitham in the morning, which 'ruins' his day. Additionally, Kaveh's voice-lines discussing Alhaitham refer to Alhaitham as ‘infuriating’ and not wanting to give Alhaitham the satisfaction of thanking him, despite Alhaitham helping him out. However, there is more nuance in these voice-lines than Kaveh simply ‘disliking’ Alhaitham, as this dislike is never stated - rather that he and Alhaitham have a difficult relationship in comparison to the ‘close’ friendship of their past.

Kaveh describes their relationship being a ‘mixed bag’, of both negatives and positives, as well as establishing a thorough understanding of Alhaitham, where other people may misinterpret Alhaitham as they ‘don’t know him well enough’. Additionally, Kaveh notes that he knows that Alhaitham can present himself in a more ‘likeable’ manner, but that Alhaitham refuses to do so, which refers to Kaveh’s contention with Alhaitham discussed within his character stories. This, in turn, generates curiosity, as it appears that Kaveh holds an in-depth knowledge of Alhaitham that the player isn’t privy to.

Referring back to Alhaitham’s ‘Good Night’ voiceline, the question raised is, if Alhaitham has a problem with Kaveh, why doesn’t he just evict Kaveh? And the answer can be found by digging further into Alhaitham’s character stories. Looking to Alhaitham’s fourth character story, it states that he is aware of the dissatisfaction Kaveh may have with their living arrangement but  that ‘it matters not to him’.

This means that he is aware that Kaveh may be unhappy with having to rely on someone else for a stable livelihood, something which his pride doesn’t naturally allow, but that this is also exacerbated due to their previous falling out and the current contentions Kaveh has with him.

At first, this can seem rather abrasive, which does fall in line with Alhaitham’s egoism as this doesn’t directly impact ‘the self’ (discussed further here), however, what immediately follows is Alhaitham’s belief that he and Kaveh are mirrors, in that his own perspective of the world will be enhanced - in the og CN, ‘completed’ -by Kaveh’s own world view.

The implication generated here with the explicit term ‘mirror’, is that, just as Alhaitham benefits from Kaveh, Kaveh, in turn, can benefit from Alhaitham. (As a side note, it is interesting then that the voice-lines in question can be seen to mirror each other – Kaveh mentions Alhaitham in ‘Good Morning’ whereas Alhaitham mentions Kaveh in ‘Good Night’.)

Returning back to Alhaitham’s character story, rather than merely reflecting each other philosophically speaking, I’d say that this also points to their respective progression as people, not just scholars.

To me, this is reminiscent of what Alhaitham says to Kaveh in A Parade of Providence – being ‘correct’, ultimately, doesn’t matter, as there is no ‘correct’ path in life, meaning that there is no ‘correct’ philosophy to shape and guide a person. Rather, Alhaitham asserts that, ultimately, their opposing philosophies are not the issue that exists between them.

The issue that does exist, then, can be surmised from Alhaitham’s actions during the event (discussed further here), in which he researches into Sachin to gauge his influence over Kaveh’s father journeying into the desert, with implicit hopes of providing closure for Kaveh, and potentially assuaging Kaveh’s guilt. This is a personal act with a personal motive; the underlying motive being concern, as opposed to an assertion of ‘correctness’.

In my opinion, I think Alhaitham’s actions during A Parade of Providence are a direct reference, and fulfilment, of Kaveh’s fifth character story. I’ve discussed here that the main reason for the ending of their friendship was them asserting the correctness of a philosophy over the other, and proposing one philosophy as the ‘solution’ to the other’s perceived flaws.

Here Alhaitham can be seen to use Kaveh’s past as the reason for his excessive altruism, implicitly referring to Kaveh’s guilt over being the supposed catalyst for his father’s demise. This final comment of Alhaitham’s appears to be the first time this has been mentioned between them, and it’s enough to be perceived as weaponisation – leading to Kaveh severing their friendship.

In A Parade of Providence, Alhaitham is shown to only have taken the role of commentator to research into Sachin, whose research we are told (by Kaveh), he has no explicit interest in, and it is heavily implied that the only reason he looked further into Sachin, was to prove to link between Sachin and Kaveh’s father. Alhaitham seems to want to absolve Kaveh of this past guilt in hopes that Kaveh will stop placing himself in the cycle of self-sabotage.

For me, when viewing this as a parallel, it highlights that Alhaitham’s motivation in speaking out during their days as students was out of concern for Kaveh, although while holding egoism as ultimately beneficial, and therefore perceivably ‘correct’. The ‘issue’ they’re currently debating is not expressly stated, and although it is unclear if Kaveh understands the implication (as discussed here), as ‘correctness’ has been overturned, there seems to be little left than the personal.

Relating this back to Alhaitham’s fourth character story, for me, Alhaitham referring to Kaveh as a mirror isn’t just referring to Kaveh as a scholar, but a person as a whole. As Alhaitham seeks to improve himself, personally, through Kaveh, it seems that he hopes to be able to benefit Kaveh in turn.

As for Kaveh’s complaints regarding Alhaitham, these can be contextualised within his own character stories. As Kaveh ultimately severed the friendship between him and Alhaitham, Alhaitham offering Kaveh to live with him, despite Kaveh revoking his previous understanding of Alhaitham (as discussed here, page 67), causes Kaveh to be overtly suspicious.

In Kaveh’s Old Sketchbook, it is mentioned that Kaveh believes there to be an ulterior motive for Alhaitham inviting him to share a house, as he believes that Alhaitham wouldn’t do something for someone else without an exchange.

Kaveh, then, openly distrusts Alhaitham due to this unspoken motive, and although he takes on chores to ease his sense of guilt of being a perceived burden, a contention arises here. Due to their previously ended friendship, and with how Alhaitham hurt Kaveh, and how Kaveh may believe he hurt Alhaitham (discussed here), Kaveh sees no reason for Alhaitham to want him around – he treats their relationship as an exchange, asking what Alhaitham could possibly want for him.

Although Alhaitham views Kaveh as a mirror, and therefore, respects Kaveh’s perspectives, Kaveh can potentially view their opposing philosophies as a negative rather than a positive as he had done in the past (as discussed here), as it, perceivably, was what led to the end of their friendship. In this, Kaveh views Alhaitham as disparaging him and his views. As mentioned in his character story, he has no reservations in telling Alhaitham of his debt as Alhaitham has already seen through him in the past, and yet again, upon meeting at the tavern.

Although Alhaitham perceivably views him unfavourably, and his comments and complaints appear to propagate this interpretation, Alhaitham also seems to have no issue with keeping Kaveh around, and interacting with Kaveh, regardless of the problems Kaveh expressly has with him.

To Kaveh, it could be that as Alhaitham has already seen the worst of him, and appears to have no real issue with their stilted rapport, there is no point in donning a front and using niceties. He is open with his issues with Alhaitham, and, in turn, Alhaitham is open with him.

This appears to be a dual negative and positive for Kaveh, as he describes Alhaitham’s constancy as ‘the most unshakable part of one's past is a friend that will never change’. In this sense, his unsteady rapport with Alhaitham is reliable, and therefore, has no reason to change.

Clearly, there is a large disconnect between Alhaitham’s view of Kaveh and how Kaveh perceives Alhaitham’s view of him. As previously mentioned in the discussion of A Parade of Providence, there is an unspoken ‘issue’ between them, and this can be interpreted as dire misconceptions borne from miscommunication.

As discussed, Kaveh and Alhaitham reference each other a lot in their respective voice-lines and their character stories. This alone is enough to connect them, regardless of the cruciality of their mirror motif, as they are key figures of each other’s past, present, and seemingly, future. Despite this, it’s as you say, there’s a common perception to view them as mutually disliking each other, and, to me, this is based upon their first initial interaction, and the way they refer to each other in their own character stories and voice-lines.

It’s notable that Alhaitham refers to Kaveh in his voice-lines when Kaveh is not explicitly relevant, such as in his Good Night voice-line, and, most interestingly, when Alhaitham discusses Tighnari.

This could be because Alhaitham knows of Tighnari through Kaveh, but as this connection isn’t stated, it reads as Alhaitham mentioning Kaveh for no other reason than to complain about his perceived naivety regarding relations with others. But as this is a voice-line designated to discussing Tighnari, it’s interesting, and incredibly noticeable, that Alhaitham then discusses Kaveh instead. It’s similar to what Kaveh can be seen to do, and is observed to do by others, in relation to discussing Alhaitham.

When it comes to Kaveh, however, his complaining of Alhaitham can be seen to link with his process of dealing with troubles in his work. In his Hangout, he states that he takes his work to heart because he cares about it, which is expressed in the same quest in which Kaveh and the Traveller run into Alhaitham in the House of Daena (discussed further here, page 219).

Drawing a parallel here can further contextualise Kaveh’s complaining of Alhaitham – if Kaveh truly disliked Alhaitham, there seems to be no reason for Alhaitham to remain so relevant to him, both in conversation, and in private thought. Additionally, Kaveh is described as an empathetic person, and when dealing with others, he is thusly seen to look for another perspective rather than act on his own subjective perspective.

Looking at his voice-line on Dori, for example, expresses his distaste for Dori pressuring him for Mora due to his debt, however, he also empathises with her, and states that he senses there must be a reason why Dori acts in such a way.

In contrast, this empathy can be perceived as missing in his treatment of Alhaitham, and therefore Kaveh complaining about Alhaitham can be perceived as blatant dislike – which contradicts Kaveh’s benevolence and empathy, which A Parade of Providence particularly stresses.

Kaveh’s treatment of Alhaitham can be seen as deliberately contradictory, as it can cause the player to question why Kaveh reacts in such a singular way to Alhaitham, just as why Alhaitham reacts in a singular way to Kaveh.

In reference to Alhaitham, whilst Alhaitham tends to complain about Kaveh in turn, his actions reveal him. He invites Kaveh to live with him, gives no eviction date, pays for Kaveh’s tabs willingly, (supposedly) buys wine as an apology, and goes out of his way to ensure dialogue with Kaveh – which contradicts his own character stories, in which he appears to favour solitude, and only greets those he considers his friends ‘with a nod or two’.

Moreover, Alhaitham is established as considering Kaveh a necessity to his ‘peaceful life’ he seeks to maintain (as discussed here), and can be seen to implicitly consider Kaveh one of his priorities within his Story Quest.

The idea that Alhaitham dislikes Kaveh seems to stem from Alhaitham being taken literally when voicing an opinion, or an issue, or simply joking, in reference to Kaveh – despite his character stories highlighting that Alhaitham often uses sarcasm in order to subvert expectations.

Alhaitham expressly states that he prefers to be seen as inscrutable, and unknown, by the general public, and uses subversion as a means to do so. In these character stories, Alhaitham openly encourages speculation of his own words.

Without this context, it seems easy to simplify Alhaitham to purely speaking factually when first addressing Kaveh in the Archon Quest – stating that having to explain things to Kaveh is ‘a nuisance’, and yet, it is overlooked that Alhaitham stays in the House of Daena, regardless, knowing Kaveh would find him again.

On the whole, in my opinion, Kaveh’s feelings towards Alhaitham cannot be simplified to ‘dislike’ as this is dually an inherent misunderstanding of his character, and of his and Alhaitham’s relationship, just as Alhaitham’s feelings towards Kaveh cannot be simplified to ‘dislike’ for this same reason.

In the beginning, Alhaitham and Kaveh are not supposed to be perceived as friendly, as Kaveh denies the association of ‘friends’, and Paimon describes them to the Traveller as ‘problematic’.

The reason for this is due to their character arcs being intertwined – the core issue is posed in Kaveh’s fifth character story, in that the question is raised if a compromise can be reached, if both sides of the mirror, can be balanced. At the beginning, they are entirely at odds, but even footing must be found.

I’ve noticed a shift in online discourse after Cyno’s second story quest, as the progression in Alhaitham and Kaveh’s relationship is noticeable – deliberately, due to the flashback scene within their house (which I’ve discussed in detail here, page 122). To me, it’s more common to form the assumption that Alhaitham and Kaveh dislike each other in the Archon Quest, but with recent developments, and, hopefully, future ones, this perception is being overturned in online communities. Perhaps that’s just wishful thinking, but I’m still hopeful!

[topherwrites]

FIC RECS: TOP GUN: MAVERICK - 2!

Okay, so there was shit I forgot in my year in review rec list. I posted it and a minimum of about 10 other fics immediately came to mind. so, part 2! I also didn't put many WIPs on the first one, but I think currently in progress fics should get some love too. I'll be marking them with an asterisk.

If I made a little comment about every single fic or series here, it would be inhumanely long, so I've refrained from doing so and have just put the summaries for each.

I hope that anyone who reads this list finds something that they love on it just as much as I do! Happy reading!

P.S. If I missed anyone, I'm sorry, there was a lot to sort through!

(P.S.S. reblog the fics you like, it makes writers happy.)

part 1, if you missed it.

SOME OF THESE ARE 18+, PLEASE HEED THE INDIVIDUAL WARNINGS!

JAKE SERESIN

Parking Lots and Matcha Lattes by @withahappyrefrain

In an attempt to get coffee, you meet a grade A asshole whose head you want to rip off. Meanwhile, Jake Seresin is pretty certain he just met his future wife in the parking lot of a coffee shop. AKA Jake Seresin likes mean women, pass it on.

The Hangman Special by @hangmanssunnies

On a night out with your friends at a fancy cocktail bar, you are just trying to keep your head down and ignore the girl that your ex cheated on you with. The night only seems like it's going to get worse when you are dared to kiss a stranger at the bar. However, it seems like the odds might finally be in your favor when you notice a familiar set of broad shoulders. If you can be convincing, you think you might just be able to get your brother's friend Jake "Hangman" Seresin to help you out with your little problem.

*she is both hellfire and holy water by @chemistryread

you should take it as a compliment, that I'm talking to everyone here but you.

Birds Away by @wombtotombx

You’d known Jake since you were kids, bonding over the shared experience of being military brats overseas. You were the perfect pair - he was reckless, you followed the rules; he didn’t care what others thought, you were a people-pleaser. You both became the best of the best in your field - he through sheer talent and skill, you from demonstrated grit and determination. For over two decades, everyone around you - parents, friends, even teachers - had assumed you’d both end up together, despite the fact that somehow, you never did. The Navy always had its way of keeping you two apart. Whatever possibilities there might have been, it was just never in the cards. Until you got to Fallon.

*The Backup by @ereardon

No strings attached sex never works, right? You and Jake Seresin have fallen into a bad pattern of seeking each other out for sex after dates go awry, but a year of being friends with benefits with Jake hasn’t been good for your dating life. Especially when the two of you are hiding your antics from your lifelong best friend Coyote and the rest of your tightly knit friend group. But what happens when you decide to take a step back and end the cycle with Jake to focus on your dating life? And why is it that all of the sudden Jake looks more irresistible than ever when you know he’s off limits? 

Take Care of Business by @honkytonk-hangman

The last time you met Lieutenant Jake Seresin, the war was still ongoing and you’d been in a floundering engagement. Back then you’d seen the possibility for more in his eyes, and now? Well, now you could explore it.

When Jake Met Polly by @/honkytonk-hangman

Jake likes to flirt with his Air Traffic Controller or Jake Seresin has never seen When Harry Met Sally.

How It's Done (Oneshot Version) by @/honkytonk-hangman

“Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean. “Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–” “–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by.

Twenty-Five Going on Forty-Seven by @sehnsuchts-trunken

Flirting with the guy who fixed your car turns out to lead to much, much more when you find out he’s actually not just some random guy, but your new neighbour and father’s new best friend, Jake Seresin.

BRADLEY BRADSHAW

*fever pitch by @greenorangevioletgrass

Arsenal and USMNT captain Bradley Bradshaw attends the mononymous music sensation Y/N's concert with a friendship bracelet and a dream. Little did he know that they soon embark on an epic love story fit for pop royalty...

This Love Came Back to Me by @beyondthesefourwalls

You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could even truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him into a kiss, he thought maybe it was the perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of you realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply just wanting it.

I Like Your Cinema by @sometimesanalice

Bradley wasn’t sure why you wanted to see the movie again, especially when neither one of you had particularly liked it the first time you’d seen it together. But when you’re tugging down his zipper, things start to make a lot more sense.

‘cause no one breaks my heart like you by @heartsofminds

“Last times always make him uneasy. He thinks that he should be used to it by now from his track record of being abandoned (willfully or “out of their control” situations alike). None of this should hurt him as deeply anymore.” or Bradley Bradshaw is terrified of commitment and he decides to stop being selfish (even though it’s hard to see).

the periphery by @youvebeenlivingfictional

You’d met Bradley a few times before the happy couple had announced their nuptials, and you’d always gotten a pretty good vibe from him. He was sweet, he was easy to talk to—and it helped that he was easy on the eyes. In fact, as soon as you’d been told that Bradley Bradshaw was going to be the Best Man, you were well on your way to having a crush on the guy.

*Hotter Than Texas by @tongue-like-a-razor

Bradley Bradshaw is tasked with transporting a not-so-delicate package in the form of Jake Seresin’s baby sister, who turns out to be Bradley’s dream girl worst nightmare.

*flight risk by @ofstoriesandstardust

In which you and Rooster got married while at UVA for the military benefits. What started out as a mutually beneficial deal between friends years ago turns into a point of interest for Maverick, causing Rooster to have to haul you out to Fightertown to get him to shut up. While Maverick’s fussing over a marriage he didn’t know existed, Rooster’s focused on getting the ball rolling on divorce papers because really, the Navy does not need to be calling some poor girl from his college that he’s died in a horrendous accident. It’s proving to be more difficult than he expected, especially when Hangman and Phoenix take it upon themselves to encourage a friendship to become more. 

How You Play the Game by @roosterforme

Bradley always loved October because of the World Series. He never expected a mix-up with the ticket he won to bring something as spectacular as you into his life. But time is fleeting, and now baseball is the last thing on his mind.

*The Intern by @/roosterforme

You barely have a minute to yourself after graduating at the top of your Ivy League class before your father insists you find an internship. Your days of lounging by the pool and partying are numbered as he has an endless parade of his colleagues visiting the house. But one of them is familiar to you in a way that warms your skin just like the San Diego sun. And it turns out, Bradley Bradshaw may just have the answers to all your problems. And those answers might be waiting for you on a yacht in the Mediterranean Sea.

there was something 'bout you by @bussyslayer333

bradley bradshaw didn’t fall in love, especially not with uptight girls in his english lit class and especially not the ones being forced into tutoring him.

*Ultraviolence by @babyonboard

You and Bradley loved each other, and Jake was just your old friend from high school who you tried to pay no mind to. At least that's how it used to be.

All Too Well by @bradleyfuckingbradshaw

You’re at dinner with your boyfriend and some of his colleagues at a restaurant he chose when you look over the menu and realize there’s no vegetarian option, but he’s too busy with his friends to realize that. Bradley isn’t.

October 3rd Promptober by @familyvideostevie

you go to a tailgate with your friend bradley.

If You Met Me First by @tip-top-cloud-surfer

Rooster confessed to Echo that he was in love with her before the mission. One minor problem: she has a boyfriend.

Home for the Holidays by @mothdruid

Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley’s feelings for one another.

BOB FLOYD

*I bet this would look beautiful on film by @coridotmp3

Honey desperately needs a photographer, and Bob desperately needs a break.

Robert from Next Door by @attapullman

You've lucked out with the perfect neighbor, a kind and overly helpful WSO. He puts up Christmas lights, lends his lawn mower, and grabs your morning paper. But what happens when he's out of peppermint tea one night?

If Only the Neighbors Knew by @/attapullman

A month of stolen kisses culminates in Robert hosting the HOA meeting and getting you on his couch. The ladies of the neighborhood may make him blush, but only you can make your sweet neighbor weak in the knees.

*Golden Hour by @/ereardon

Willow, Georgia. Barely even a town, just a speck on a map that you tried to wipe off, mistaking it for a crumb. You’re the outsider: a fancy New York doctor, fresh out of a failed engagement, with zero primary care experience. You’re also the new town doctor, taking over for a recent retiree who was beloved. His son, Bob Floyd, is the other physician at the practice, and takes an immediate dislike to you. But you were looking for a fresh start, and Willow doesn’t seem all that bad if you can get past the fact that there's only one restaurant in town. It helps that you've caught the eye of Bradley Bradshaw, the town attorney, despite the fact that you vowed to take a break from dating. How long until you start to make friends in a town where social circles have been set in stone since elementary school? And what will it take to make Bob Floyd see you’re not as bad as he wants to believe you are?

Ruin the Friendship by @withahappyrefrain

The night before Bob leaves for Boot Camp, he’s learned no one has gone down on his best friend. He’s determined to fix that.

International Bob Floyd Fucks Month Masterlist

a january writing event hosted by @/attapullman

Bob from Stats by @/attapullman

College is a wild time, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the quiet guy from Stats riding around campus as a cowboy. Or what a good kisser he is.