#i have a lot of internalized biphobia I struggle with
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voxmilia · 1 year ago
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one day i'll remember that i'm still a valid bi woman even if I write a lot of m/f ships
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sundrop-writes · 10 months ago
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Lessons For A Genius - Lesson One
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Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader
Lesson One: Slick Silicone
(aka the one with the pocket pussy)
Summary:
What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot. 
And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on. 
Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.
Word Count: 17,200
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link
THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.
Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.
Warnings: A lot of general stuff pertaining to an average Criminal Minds episode - mentions of death, mentions of murder/killing, mentions of possible trauma from being in the BAU, somewhat graphic descriptions of a dismembered corpse; this is not a casefic but there is a small section where Reid, Morgan, and the reader are at a crime scene and details of a case are mentioned (not a case in the canon, one that I made up); the reader sticks her hand inside of a corpse to get something out of it for the purpose of discovering evidence; making inappropriate jokes about dead bodies - the reader character uses dark humour to cope with the trauma of the BAU job; Spencer doesn’t understand sexual slang and the reader has to explain it to him (warning for slightly awkward moments because of this?); the reader calls Spencer ‘honey’ (could be considered condescending); use of Y/N and L/N (meaning Your Last Name); Reid struggling with his sexuality/Reid has some internal biphobia; mentions of anal sex/anal stimulation but it does not take place during the fic; passing mentions of Reid being bullied in school; mentions of past Spencer x Lila Archer (in this fic, she blew him while he was working that case but they didn’t keep contact when he left LA); mentions of the reader going to a sex shop; mentions of the reader dressing feminine/wearing lingerie; mention of Spencer being taller than the reader - but I think he would be taller than most people.
This is primarily a smut fic; there is sub/dom dynamics - Reid is submissive and much more inexperienced (he is 'learning’ about sex from the reader character, but he is not completely a virgin, he has had one singular sexual experience before); the reader is dominant and much more experienced sexually; the reader has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns; mentions of Reid being 'innocent’ (it’s more so that sex is an under-researched area of his life and he is too shy to explore it by himself); undertones of corruption kink; use of a sex toy - the reader gifts Spencer a fleshlight/pocket pussy and they use it together; hand kink - the reader admires Spencer’s hands; undertones of corruption kink - the reader is enjoying 'corrupting’ Spencer and showing him these things for the first time; BDSM/kink negotiations, possibly under-negotiated kink; the reader teaches Spencer BDSM terms.
Everything in this fic is fully consensual and safe for the characters; Spencer calls the reader 'Miss’; mentions of Spencer cumming inside the reader (does not actually happen during the fic); passing mentions of Spencer being insecure (about his sexual skills and his looks); Spencer is very obedient; the reader calls Spencer: 'good boy’, 'baby’, 'pretty boy’, 'dumb baby’; most of this fic is Spencer being fucked with a fleshlight while it’s controlled by the reader; heavy praise kink (from the reader toward Spencer); light bondage - Spencer’s hands are bound behind his back; edging - orgasm delay/orgasm denial (from the reader toward Spencer); the reader makes Spencer ask permission to cum; some size kink - big dick Spencer is too big to fully fit inside of a fleshlight; Spencer does a lot of begging in this; slight crying kink - the reader thinks Spencer looks pretty when he cries from being overwhelmed/edged a lot; degradation kink, dumbification kink, reader is condescending towards Spencer; some overstimulation toward the end; slight cum kink - Spencer cums all over himself and the reader enjoys it. I believe that’s it. There is descriptions of aftercare!
A/N: fair warning - a lot of this fic is build up/sexual tension (my speciality). and there is a long section before the smut where the reader is teaching Spencer BDSM terms and teaching him how to pick a safeword, but I think it’s interesting and I enjoyed writing it. and it’s worth the pay-off imo.
...
Being an FBI Profiler meant there were some rather… strange parts to your day. 
Things that were once in a lifetime tragedies for other people that had become intensely casual routines for you. Things like - looking at gruesome crime scene photos, seeing a dead body in person, facing down a killer. 
You liked to thank your nihilism and dark sense of humor for keeping you sane, working a job that would have driven others insane in such a short amount of time. You also liked to distance yourself from the darkness of it, and preferred to think of the people you helped, rather than the people you couldn’t. 
Especially during moments like this, when you were exiting the car at yet another crime scene. It was a dump sight for the body of another young woman, adding to the trail of victims this newest killer was challenging the BAU with. 
“Just like all the others… the limbs and jaw are missing. Eyes gouged out. This guy has one hell of a compulsion.” Morgan commented, looking down at the body… or rather, the torso, with intense disdain. 
“I would say it’s less of a compulsion, and more of a fractured sense of reality.” Reid commented. “It’s likely that the UnSub sees these corpses as pieces of art. It’s why he was frustrated when the first four weren’t found soon enough, that they weren’t discovered when they were… ‘fresh’, so to speak. That’s why he started leaving the clues for law enforcement. He wants his ‘art’ to be seen in a timely manner.” 
“Couldn’t the guy just take up painting or something?” You replied, looking at the body, still slightly shocked by how brutal the whole thing was. 
“Looks like we got another one.” Morgan pointed out, crouching down beside the body, motioning toward a large gash between the victim’s ribs. “Another clue, that is.” 
For the last three victims, the UnSub had cut a hole into their torso and left some kind of object inside. Something small that hinted at where the next victim would be found. 
Morgan looked over his shoulder at you, as though waiting for you to make a move. When you turned to Reid, he was looking over the rim of his coffee cup at you with very expectant eyes, the thick lenses of his glasses making his stare all the more imposing. 
You quickly realized that both of the men wanted you to stick your hand inside the corpse and pull out whatever was inside. 
“What?” You chuckled. “You want me to do it? Is it just cause you think I’m the gross one?” 
Your reputation for having a strong stomach preceded you. 
You were shy or squeamish about anything, socially or functionally, and the team often took advantage of this. They would throw you into an interrogation with a suspect who made crude comments and you would end up grossing the man out with even more graphic words. They would have you sifting through a suspect’s trash looking for receipts or pieces of evidence and sometimes you would laugh at the things you found, rather than gagging at the smell. 
It was rare that anyone on the team saw you flinch. 
“The body’s been sittin’ out here in the sun for three hours.” Morgan said, glancing from the corpse up to the bright sky overhead. “I’m not doin’ it.”
You chanced another look at Reid. The small smirk he wore told you that he wouldn’t have to give some lame excuse about how he was squeamish and had just eaten in order for you to truly give in. 
“Ugh, fine.” You said. 
You naturally met Reid’s hand when he came out of his pocket with a blue latex glove for you to wear. You put it on, switching places with Morgan so you could kneel down beside the body. You put your ungloved hand on the ground to support yourself, and then inserted your fingers into the cavity - the hole between the ribs that the UnSub had made. 
Luckily, you didn’t have to reach too far inside before you felt something. Though, because of the slight decomposition of the body and the bloat from the sun beating down, you did have some trouble getting a good grip on the item to pull it out. 
Naturally, your discomfort with the situation caused your dark sense of humor to act up. You needed the comfort and you barely thought about the odd joke before it left your lips. 
“God, it’s like a fucking fleshlight in here,” You groaned, disgusted laced through your voice as you finally hooked your fingers around the object and managed to pull it out of the wound. 
Morgan chuckled at the joke and held out an evidence bag for you (which he had gotten from one of the uniformed officers on the scene). Before any of you could truly analyze the item that you had just pulled out of the body cavity, a voice trampled over your thoughts as you dropped the item into the plastic bag. 
“Don’t you mean flashlight?” Reid piped up, so eager to correct you, as always. “Also, how is that comparable?” 
You looked up at Reid with awe. 
For a moment, you wondered if he was fucking with you. 
But the look of genuine confusion plastered across his features - something so rare for the certified genius. That look made you realize that he genuinely didn’t know what a fleshlight was. He had no idea what you were talking about. 
Your insides tingled with glee at this realization. 
Morgan sighed when he saw the look that you and Reid exchanged. You, wearing filthy, smug dawning and Reid painted entirely with cluelessness. He hated where the exchange was going, knowing how shameless you always were in conversation. He quickly tried to distract from the interaction. 
“So, this looks like a horseshoe-” Morgan said, motionting to the object in the evidence bag. 
“No, I meant fleshlight.” You said, quickly trampling over Morgan’s words. “F-L-E-S-H-L-I-G-H-T. Fleshlight. Do you not know what that means?” 
This caused Morgan to sigh sharply and shake his head. 
You took off the glove with a snap and tossed it away, happy to be rid of the smell. 
You stood back to your full height, entirely intrigued by Reid’s continued confusion. 
“It could represent luck. Maybe a casino?” Morgan tried in vain to distract the two of you from the conversation once again. 
Maybe he was trying to preserve Reid’s naive innocence, something you were determined to dismantle piece by piece because it gave you intense joy to see the shock cross his features whenever you explained outrageous concepts to him. The time you had explained to him what a ‘blumpkin’ was, you hadn’t stopped laughing for hours when he could hardly believe you. 
“The nearest casino is 45.6 miles away, it’s far outside the UnSub’s geographical comfort zone.” Reid said, quickly dismissing Morgan’s thread of conversation before he turned back to you. “And no, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it a coroner’s term?” 
You let out a harsh snort at this. You had gotten a degree in mortuary science before you became a Profiler (likely something to thank for your strong stomach). But it was your other area of ‘study’ that made you an expert in this. 
“No, honey, it’s not.” You quickly answered. 
There was a slight flash through his features when you called him ‘honey’. You weren’t sure if it was shock or displeasure, but either way he quickly straightened his face and went back to intrigue. He stared at you with his full attention, ready for you to explain it to him. He was ready to learn and catalog the information in that big brain of his.
It was something you found entirely endearing. 
“L/N, please, don’t-” Morgan begged you not to explain it any further, once again wanting to keep Reid in the dark. 
Mostly, he wanted to save himself from the embarrassment of witnessing the interaction between the two of you. 
“What?” You chuckled sharply, turning to Morgan. “There are some things the genius still needs to learn, apparently.” 
Reid rolled his eyes at this. He didn’t want to admit that it was true. 
“The other night I had to explain to him what the distinct difference between a Butt Dial and a Booty Call is,” You continued, giving an example to prove your point. “Because he walked into the bullpen and loudly announced to JJ and Elle that he was sorry that he booty called me at 3am and woke me up.” 
Morgan choked on his laughter when you explained this. 
“Dude, seriously?” He posed, raising a brow at Reid. 
“I fell asleep with my phone in my back pocket when I was reading Voltaire.” Reid explained, a heavy blush falling over his cheeks. “I thought - I thought -” 
“Okay, playboy, I’m gonna go call Hotch about this,” Morgan announced, motioning toward the evidence bag. “And I’m gonna pretend not to hear anything that’s happening over here.” 
Morgan walked off to the car, and Reid turned to you with a defeated look cast over his features. 
“I do appreciate when you explain these kinds of things to me.” He told you softly. “It… it saves me from future embarrassment.” 
As much as you enjoyed the shock factor of watching Spencer’s innocence melt away when you explained such crude things so abruptly - that was also part of your motivation. You knew that as much as he was a genius - had stunning intellect on paper, could recite statistics by heart - he didn’t have the kind of social skills or social knowledge that you did. 
“Do you really wanna know what I was talking about before?” You posed, giving him one last chance to preserve that innocence. 
He nodded, ever thirsty to chase an unanswered question. 
You held back a giggle. 
“A fleshlight is also called a pocket pussy.” You told him, launching into a quick, efficient explanation for his confusion so that he could have his question answered. 
“What?” He gaped, having the most beautifully dumb look on his face as the words left his lips. 
“It’s a sex toy.” You told him. 
His face scrunched even further into bewilderment, and you knew that now he was simply jumping through mental hoops, wondering what kind of sex toy a ‘pocket pussy’ could be. So you decided to make your explanation a bit more detailed. 
“It’s a…” You thought for a moment about how to explain it to someone who had never seen one before. “A kind of tube? Usually in the shape of a large flashlight, and on the inside there’s a silicone vagina, or sometimes a silicone anus, and it’s meant to simulate intercourse the same way that a dildo can simulate intercourse by going into a vagina. Or an anus, of course. You do know what a dildo is, right?” 
Reid quickly nodded his head - that bright flush even fresher on his cheeks as a deep thoughtfulness came over his features. 
“Yeah. Y-yeah. I got it.” He quickly stuttered out, assuring you that he now fully understood. 
“Cool.” You said, walking by him and thumping him on the shoulder for reassurance that the conversation was over. 
“Wait, is that the hand that you - inside? You haven’t washed your hands yet!” 
“I wore a glove, Reid!” 
… 
Turns out the horseshoe had a unique stamping on it from a closed down metalworks business. Four thousand square feet of abandoned building, perfect for the UnSub to make his ‘art’ inside. He had intended for the clue to lead the team to a barn where he had staged the next corpse, but you broke into the building and caught him in the act of drugging another woman before she was killed. 
The state of the building was horrifying - the limbs of the other victims strewn about, a lot of them put on display like trophies. 
Overall, you would call it a good day. There was a life saved. 
On the way back home, Spencer could barely make eye contact with you while on the jet. His eyes constantly flickered away from you with purpose whenever you looked near him. The two of you played Gin Rummy and you had to remind Reid to take his turn several times. There was even one point where he won a hand and you had to tell him so - he claimed that he had ‘forgotten the rules’. As if. 
You couldn’t figure out why he was acting so strangely. You wanted to chalk it up to the harshness of the case, the graphic nature of things - but you both had seen much worse. The ‘fleshlight’ conversation was so minimal on your radar, such a shameless moment for you. It was something you considered so entirely regular as an interaction on the rollercoaster of all things bizarre that was Spencer Reid. You were barely even thinking about it. 
You had no clue that it was racing through his mind at top speed as he remembered your words from earlier that day. 
… 
Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
He wasn’t sure why it had never occurred to him before. Sure, there were plenty of things he didn’t know, like you said. Plenty of things he was curious about, but far too shy to look up. Plenty of things he didn’t want to get caught looking up out of fear of embarrassment. 
He knew some things about sex toys. He knew far more about the history of sex toys than he did about modern sex toys. He could tell you that Cleopatra had owned one of the first rudimentary vibrators, made from the shell of a hollowed out gourd filled with bees. But if he walked into a sex shop today, he probably wouldn’t know what half the stuff was or what it was used for. 
When he thought about what you had told him, it only made sense. 
Of course there would be some kind of solution, some kind of ‘opposite’ to a silicone penis used to simulate sex inside a vagina. 
(“Or an anus, of course.”) 
Those words flying out of your mouth so casually had sent Reid’s imagination flying into an array of interesting directions. Of course he knew that plenty of men liked to partake in anal stimulation for pleasure. There were no particular statistics about this that came to mind, because it was never something he had directly read a study about. 
It was something Reid had always been curious about, because he did know that prostate stimulation was often considered to be the height of pleasure for men. 
(Spencer’s attraction to men was a can of worms that he would leave untouched and attend to another day. The innate warmth that he felt when he looked at Morgan was something he always felt the need to suppress. Even though it was quite literally impossible for him, he was still trying to forget the involuntary reaction he had when he looked at a gay porn magazine that his classmates had left in his locker as a joke when he was thirteen.) 
For the most part, his mind was hyper-fixating on your explanation of that object he had never even heard of before. The antithesis of a dildo, the supposed inversion of the male genitalia in a more portable form. 
A pocket pussy. 
You talked about it so casually, explained it so perfectly. You spoke about it in such a way that it left Reid’s mind whirring, wondering what such an object could specifically look like. Of course, he knew what a vagina looked like. In theory. 
Yes, he was a virgin. 
He actually wondered if he fit that definition exactly. He knew that most people considered virginity to be a milestone passed once they had participated in full blown intercourse for the first time. But he wondered if what he had done would ‘count’ as losing his virginity. It was something he would have asked you, would have wanted your social colloquial opinion on - if he wasn’t so embarrassed about being a virgin in the first place. (Or maybe being a virgin, he still wasn’t too sure.) 
He had been touched by a woman before, but only once. 
After he and Lila Archer had climbed out of the pool, before the team had arrived, she had kissed him on the mouth again and continued to thank him for his ‘bravery’ and ongoing protection in a very interesting way. And before he could truly process it or stop her (due to the intense unprofessionalism) - his pants were down and her mouth was on him. Because of his inexperience, it had lasted a whopping three minutes. (According to Spencer’s impeccable memory and the fact that he had been glancing between the top of her head and a clock on the wall, worried they would get caught, he knew for a fact that it had been three minutes and fourteen seconds to be exact.) 
Which, at the time, was lucky. Because as she licked off her lips and looked up at him through her lashes, Morgan called out his name through the house, finally looking for them. He had rushed to straighten his clothes and look normal - but because Morgan caught them both looking incredibly guilty, he had hounded Reid for days about the ‘details’. Reid gave him none. 
But that had been his only experience with a woman sexually. His only experience with anybody, for that matter. So any of his knowledge about vaginas was based entirely on pictures; scientific diagrams, and renaissance art. He was never gutsy enough to buy porn for himself. 
He tried to imagine what a silicone vagina would look like - how one would fit molded into a plastic tube. He tried to imagine how it would feel to stick his penis into one. 
Of course, he had plenty of experience with masturbation. 
His instincts had taken over at the right age for that. Even though his brain was always advanced well beyond his years, puberty kicked in just the same. He had been a hormonal teenager just like everyone else. (Of course, he was the only one going to CalTech getting a PhD in chemistry, but he was right on track in terms of his physical development.) 
And naturally, his imagination often ran away with him whenever he had the time alone to masturbate now that he was an adult. 
One of the things he thought about most often when he masturbated was you. 
The fact that you were so self-assured, so confident, the fact that nothing could shake you. It always made Spencer imagine you pinning him down, taking control of him, kissing him hard. He had orgasmed in his hand a great many nights, imagining you on top of him - imagining what you might feel like around him, on top of him, riding him. 
He found it intensely difficult to pay attention to Gin Rummy when all of these thoughts were running through his mind. 
… 
You barely remembered the fleshlight conversation at all. Barely remembered it, that is, until you were on your way to work the next morning. 
There was a small fender bender between two cars on your normal route and the traffic build-up around it caused you to deviate. Because of that, you just happened to drive by your favorite sex shop. The sign caught your eye, and you figured: you were already late. There was a great coffee place across the street. You could grab yourself a latte if you parked. 
You were surprised that a sex shop would be open so early in the morning, but you were glad that you made the stop. Usually, you would have taken your time to browse. You liked to see what was new, especially in terms of costumes and lingerie. 
You didn’t have a long term partner to impress, but sometimes you did like to strut around the house in lingerie (in your fleeting free time away from the BAU) just to make yourself feel good. That, and it was always fun to see the look on a date’s face when you gave the sensual promise of ‘slipping into something more comfortable’ and then came back in a latex nurse’s outfit and six inch red heels. 
Unfortunately, today you were low on time and very set on what you wanted. 
You went straight to the wall of toys and zoned in on the selection of fleshlights. You picked out the most ‘basic’ one you could find. You didn’t want to assume Spencer’s preferences, but you picked one that resembled a pussy rather than an ass. 
It was on the expensive side, but you knew the look on Spencer’s face when you gave it to him would more than pay it off in your mind. That and imagining him using it, knowing that it would be far too tempting of a gift. He would never be brave enough to buy something like this for himself and once it was in his hands when he was alone, he would be far too curious not to use it - yeah, it was definitely worth it. 
You walked past a rack of lube on your way to the cash register and realized that it would be rude to give this kind of gift without a bottle of lube in accompaniment. So you bought a bottle of your favorite water based lubricant. An unscented one, knowing that Spencer was a no-frills kind of guy, even though you usually bought a strawberry scented one for yourself. 
You got the items put in a discreet, labelless black bag and then got yourself a latte. And you couldn’t help but to grab an almond croissant for Spencer because when you spotted it in the pantry case, you did think of him. 
Of course, when you walked into the office (the black bag safely in the backseat of your car) Hotch just happened to be walking by with a handful of files on the way to his office. 
“You’re late.” He commented, not looking up from the paper he was reading. 
“Traffic was hell.” You fired back. 
“Yeah, and I’m sure that latte just magically transported into your hand.” He said, his tone blank and unreadable as usual. “I want all your reports about the case on my desk by tonight.” 
Usually, there was a grace period of two or three days to get the reports about a case done. But clearly, Hotch didn’t like your tardiness. You considered it worth it. 
“Yes sir.” You mumbled under your breath. 
He didn’t say anything else after that, simply retreated off to his office. 
You figured he couldn’t be that mad. He knew the job could be an emotional strain, and it was okay to deviate from such a hard routine every now and then. Especially because now you were going to be spending the next five hours writing out all the gory details of how you had pulled a horseshoe out of a woman’s dead torso in order to catch a killer. 
You walked over to your desk, which was right in front of Reid’s, and placed down the paper bag with the croissant on top of one of his files. This easily distracted him from whatever he had been writing - most likely one of his reports about the case. 
“Almond croissant,” You said, placing down your coffee cup and placing your purse underneath your desk. “Your favorite, right?” 
“It is.” He grinned at you. “Thank you.” 
It was that sweet little smile, those big kind eyes staring up at you through the lenses of his glasses like you hung the stars in the sky - it was that bit of sweetness that got you through writing your reports. So yeah, it probably wasn’t just dark humor and nihilism that helped you keep your sanity. It had a lot to do with the pretty boy you got to sit across from every single day. 
You worked on your reports. And yeah, you took too many coffee breaks, including a long lunch break with Elle, Penelope, and JJ where they insisted on discussing your ‘crush’ on Spencer. 
You denied it. 
Elle profiled your lie (which you insisted was not a lie) and JJ laughed about it. Penelope started humming wedding music under her breath and you threatened to spit in her salad. 
By the time you actually got the reports done, it was late. Everyone else had gone home - except for Spencer, who was still sitting at his desk across from you with his lamp on and an air of quiet concentration. When you got finished with the last report, you slammed the file closed and let out a sigh, leaning back in your chair and running your hands harshly over your face. 
“Finally done?” Spencer’s delicate voice inquired, peeking up over the median between the desks to look at you. 
“Yes, finally.” You grinned back at him. “You done too?” 
You couldn’t help but to ask. Spencer was always incredibly quick with his reports, simply by the nature of the speed at which he could read and compose writing. You wondered what exactly he had been doing at his desk for the past few hours. Perhaps he had been looking through old case files, possibly unsolved ones, thinking up new leads while there was no pressure looming over his brilliant mind. 
“I finished up at three o’clock.” He said. 
You glanced at your watch - it was getting close to nine. That made you entirely curious about what he had been doing, sitting at his desk for that many hours. What had he felt the need to stay so late for? 
“So what has been keeping you busy this late into the night, Doctor?” You asked. 
“I was reading.” He told you honestly, motioning toward a thick novel that he had in his hands. 
“How many books do you have over there?” You chuckled. 
Again, you knew that because of the intense speed he was capable of reading at, it would take a lot of books to keep him busy. 
“Just one.” He answered, easily catching your eye and maintaining eye contact. 
Both of you knew what this meant. 
For a while, he had been rereading through old case files. But, not wanting to haunt himself with those gory details, he had chosen instead to simply sit at his desk and reread the same book over and over again because he had wanted to keep you company. 
What you didn’t know was that his mind had still been heavily plagued by thoughts of your sex toy discussion from the other day, so he wasn’t exactly reading at lightning speed as per usual. Instead - letting his imagination wander, thinking about where he would get a silicone vagina if he wanted to buy one and if a toy would feel as good as yours. What yours would feel like around his penis if he ever got the minuscule chance to actually experience it. 
“The Hollow Men by T. S. Eliot - but um, I was waiting for you, actually.” Spencer announced, making his intentions entirely clear, just in case you hadn’t already figured it out. “I was hoping maybe we could get dinner together? We haven’t - we haven’t hung out in a while.” 
He seemed nervous asking you this, even though you were always enthusiastic in welcoming his invitations to spend time together outside of work. 
Last month, he had brought you to a conservatory housing and actively breeding endangered species of butterflies in order to save the populations from extinction. It was a building full of plant life, an indoor jungle filled with the beautiful insects that took your breath away. Listening to him ramble on about the different species and their latin names, the patterns on their wings and their purpose of camouflage - it had been one of the most pleasant, most romantic non-dates of your life. 
You didn’t understand why others on the team acted like his presence, especially his ramblings, could be a bother. 
“Sounds good.” You told him with a smile. 
He smiled back at you fondly. 
“I have to drop these on Hotch’s desk and then we can go.” You explained as you stood up and began gathering your files. “But uh, I don’t really feel like going out? I’m way more in the mood for take-out and a comfy couch.” 
“There’s a good Chinese place a few minutes away from my apartment.” He told you. “If you consider my couch comfortable?” 
You resisted the urge to tell him that you loved his apartment because the smell of books penetrated every inch of it; the scent of yellowing, worn paper living there like the comfort of a library. But you held that back - choosing instead to say something else. 
“The comfiest,” You grinned at him as you walked by with the armful of files. 
… 
You weren’t entirely sure when you were going to give the ‘gifts’ to Spencer. 
A large part of you thought that it would be best to have an out, in case he got embarrassed, or hated it. Most likely, you would wait until after dinner and hand him the bag on your way out without telling him what it was. Which was why you shoved the black plastic bag holding the lube and the sex toy into your oversized purse while Spencer was distracted with carrying the takeout bag toward his apartment. 
One thing that had not surprised you about Spencer when you found it out: he didn’t have basic cable. Part of you was surprised that someone who was so pro-book and anti-technology even had a TV at all. But apparently he had some favorites that he couldn’t stand to miss out on, like Doctor Who and Star Wars. So he had a DVD player hooked up to a very small TV that was banished off to a corner of his living room. A device that was dwarfed by bookcases, which did make a lot of sense. 
He said that he spent so much time reading and away at work, traveling for cases that it just didn’t make sense to pay for cable. He said that he could get his mental enrichment from reading, and his nerdy pleasure from rewatching his old favorites, and apparently he got the news from listening to the radio. The radio. Sometimes you wondered if he was Benjamin Button - an old man who had somehow gotten into the body of a twenty five year old. It truly mystified you. 
Either way, it meant that you spent dinner with season three of Friends on as background noise. Friends being a box set of DVDs that you had gifted him because you considered it to be classic television that he needed to see. The first time he had asked Morgan to his face if a girl had ‘friendzoned’ him with full confidence in what the term meant, you knew that Spencer had been watching it in his free time. 
You easily fell into the comfort of your surroundings, enjoying the comforting canned laughter of the show, paired with the delightfully greasy food and Spencer’s ongoing commentary - both about the show, and about other, completely unrelated things. You were so relaxed that you had almost completely forgotten about the gift you had waiting in your bag for him. 
It was such a strange coincidence that he had been the one to bring it up. 
He offered to take your plate into the kitchen, leaving behind a waft of soy sauce as he went. You were wonderfully full and reached to the small side table where you were nursing a half empty (now warm) diet coke. You took a few sips from it, and heard Spencer’s footsteps shuffling back into the room. He hovered behind you as you watched Monica rush out of her bedroom with her phone pressed to her chest, concerned about calling Richard. 
You were so focused on the show that you almost didn’t hear Spencer’s shy, tentative voice when he spoke. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He said quietly. 
“Hmm?” You looked over your shoulder at him, wondering what he meant. 
He was rather nervously fidgeting with his hands, standing in the white glow of the TV in the dimly lit room - the only other source of light being a small lamp on the side table and dimness of the light above the stove shining in from the kitchen at his back. 
You grabbed up the remote and paused the show, silencing the characters and their temporary problems in order to address the stress that Spencer was very clearly feeling - his whole body tight, hunched over, his face quite tight with worry. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He repeated himself, slightly louder this time - perhaps not more confident, but simply not drowned out by any further noise. 
You didn’t want to butt in, and gave him the room to explain himself slowly. 
“I - I didn’t mean to put you in such an… uncomfortable position. If I don’t understand the things you say, I should just pull you aside and ask you privately what you meant.” He sighed. “I - I know that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes. It’s something I’m working on.” 
You became flooded with peril at this. Had he really thought that he had inconvenienced you? Put you in an ‘uncomfortable’ position? 
“Come sit down.” You told him, beginning to feel annoyed with craning your neck back to get a proper look at him. 
Like a dog being beckoned, he couldn’t help but to follow your order. 
He sunk down against the other arm of the three seater couch, leaving quite a bit of space between the two of you. He had his arms folded - closed off, clearly nervous. His eyes were focused on the leg of his pants, distinctly refusing to look at you. Perhaps he was afraid he would find disgust or disappointment among your features. You turned off the TV completely then and angled your body to face him before you continued speaking. 
“First of all, you don’t need to learn to keep your mouth shut.” You told him easily. “I’m not sure who, or what gave you that impression, but it’s not true. Whenever you open your mouth, something brilliant comes out, and we’re all better for it.” 
Reid’s lips flexed into a smile at the intense direct praise, and this made you happy. 
“Second, you didn’t make me uncomfortable the other day.” You told him honestly. “I meant what I said - despite you being a genius, there are still some things you need to learn. And I’m more than happy to teach you.” 
These words sent a shiver down Spencer’s spine. 
There were so many things that he would beg for you to teach him if given the chance. But he didn’t want to embarrass himself. And most importantly, he didn’t want to come off as creepy or desperate toward someone as perfect as you. 
When he dared to glance up at you, you were boldly staring him down. You wore a small smirk across your face. Heat began to stir in Spencer’s gut, and he couldn’t help but to wonder if you were thinking the exact same things that he was. 
You couldn’t be. You couldn’t possibly want someone like him. You couldn’t possibly want a nervous, inexperienced ‘virgin’ like him. 
Oh, but you did. 
You were thinking all of the same things that he was. You were imagining giving him the most intricate ‘hands on’ lessons for everything he had ever been curious about. Giving him the most close-up, detailed tour of the female anatomy he ever could have asked for. 
“Spencer,” You called out his name gently. 
This forced his attention up from fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of the couch cushion - clearly something out of nervousness - and got him to look at your face. You wondered how someone who was six feet tall could look so delicately small, purposefully slumped over in his seat like that. You wondered what his pretty features would look like warped by an orgasm. 
“What are you thinking about right now?” You asked him. You had to know if he was truly on the same filthy wavelength as you. 
He knew he had to make up a lie. Because he wouldn’t be brave enough to speak the words out loud. He was too shy to actually tell you that he was wondering what it would be like to bury his face between your breasts, that he wanted to drown there. 
“You… you did get me curious.” Spencer admitted quietly. “About the… the - uh-” 
He trailed off, clearly too nervous to say the word for himself now that he knew the filthy implications behind it. 
“About the fleshlight?” You finished the sentence for him, wanting to encourage him. 
You wanted to make him feel brave about the topic. You were too curious about where this interaction was heading - you couldn’t bear to have him get shy on you now. 
“Yeah.” He nodded, nervously clearing his throat. 
He went back to fidgeting with the edge of the couch cushion, once again purposefully looking anywhere but at your face. You stared him down with purpose, all too intrigued by whatever might come out of his mouth next. Especially with the tense, thoughtful expression dipped along his eyebrows - the same one he got when he was reading or staring at maps. 
“I was thinking - I was curious - curious about - about where someone might get one of those.” He finally announced. 
He put intense stress on the word ‘where’ - his voice low, almost a lulling whisper in the already quiet apartment. He was speaking as though he was asking you about something incredibly illicit. Like a college kid asking where he could buy weed or a lonely man in his thirties inquiring about a prostitute. Though sex toys were perfectly legal, you guessed that for someone like Spencer, this was just as trepidacious. 
You felt a sense of eager giddiness stir within you. You resisted the urge to bounce on the spot like an excitable, hyper kid on their birthday waiting to open their present. Even though he wasn’t looking at your face, you forced yourself to hold back a grin. 
You didn’t want to ruin the surprise, after all. It was just too perfect. 
“Well… lucky for you, Doctor Reid,” You told him, easily capturing his attention with the use of his proper title and the fact that you shifted slightly in your seat, reaching down by your feet to grab your bag. “I happen to have a spare one right here.” 
Spencer watched you cautiously, his neck still sloped with anxious shyness. He almost had to believe that this was a prank, and you would pull a tape recorder out of your bag and laugh because you had captured his perversion for everyone to know about. 
But of course - you weren’t that cruel. You were honest, and you were definitely not half as shy as he was. In fact, he would go so far as to say that you didn’t have a bashful bone in your body. 
So of course, it made sense that it was not a big deal for you to walk into one of those stores and simply purchase that kind of toy. 
Spencer watched eagerly as you pulled out a cardboard box. He heard the rustle of plastic inside your bag and guessed that it was a shopping bag. But he couldn’t be too focused on that once your arm extended out to him, showing him what the rectangular box was. 
Spencer had never seen a sex toy in person before, but he quickly realized that they were packaged similarly to any other product. A clean, white background with a picture of the product on it, several claims and promises (‘new and improved design!’) (‘easy to clean!’) (‘soft and durable!’) - and a picture of someone smiling on the front, unconsciously promising a good user experience. In this case, it was a stereotypically beautiful woman in lingerie holding the… item, as though it were comparable… to her… to her parts. 
“Open it.” You encouraged him, wagging the box in his direction. “Unless you don’t want it. I could return it.” 
It was then that Spencer realized he had been sitting with his hands numbly in his lap for several silent moments, staring at the box in your extended hand. 
“Oh!” He said quietly. “No! I mean - yes. I - um.” Rather than trying to articulate it, he reached out and grabbed the item, finding it surprisingly heavy. It easily compared to the weight of a good book in his hands. “Thank you.” 
You would be lying if you said that watching him inspect the sex toy as though it were an object from an alien planet wasn’t the hottest thing you had seen in your entire life. Doctor Reid approached this the same way that he approached everything else in life: with intense scrutiny. Clearly his analytical mind was working hard as he carefully peeled back the cardboard flap of the box and slid out his prize. 
You had to wonder if that mind of his ever shut off. 
You wondered if you could make him dumb and cum drunk, make his head completely empty. You wondered what he would look like mindlessly chasing an orgasm, begging for release with absolutely no statistics or scientific papers running around inside that big brain of his. You wanted to see him completely worn down, just his base instincts at play. You wanted to see him with just the need to fuck and cum and have his release pounding between his ears as he whined desperately for more. 
There was a sharp pain between your legs, intense arousal at the thought of it. 
That arousal only increased when Spencer dropped the box in his lap and then - like man walking on the moon for the first time - he held the toy delicately in one hand and popped the cap off with the other. Clearly, it was a big discovery for him. Watching his eyes widen with shock did bring you an intense joy. It also immediately made you wonder if seeing the silicone pussy was his first time seeing a pussy so up close and personal at all. That thought only made your own cunt throb with need. 
What he did next nearly sent you into orbit. 
He gently placed the cap down on his lap, and without looking at you, his thoughtful eyes still entirely focused on the fake pussy - he reached toward it and oh-so-gently stroked his fingers across it. From your perspective, with the angle he was holding it at, you had a perfect view of his gorgeous hand delicately exploring the toy. Your cunt fluttered, clenching around nothing, and you knew that at this point you were definitely sitting in soaked underwear. If you didn’t know Spencer any better, you would have guessed that he was doing this on purpose, to tease you. 
But that’s what made it so perfect - he was just naive, just exploring these things for the first time. 
When he dipped two of his fingertips into the opening of the toy, you had to consciously hold back a moan. It was almost too hot watching his strong, thick fingers get swallowed up by the soft entrance of the toy. Of course, imagining how those fingers would feel dipping into your pussy with such tender grace. 
“Wow.” Spencer said quietly, almost a gasp under his breath as he pulled his fingers back, in pure awe at this new discovery. “I didn’t expect it to be so soft.”
“It’ll feel even better when it’s wet.” 
The words came so naturally from your lips, you couldn’t have stopped them if you tried. 
Spencer looked up at you with a distinct pinkness spreading over his cheeks, clearly imagining that tight, soft wetness wrapped around his cock. 
You dared to take a glance downward and surely enough - beside where the empty box was sitting in his lap, a bulge was forming in his slacks, pressing harshly against the zipper. You deeply resisted the urge to reach over and grope that bulge, not wanting to scare him by coming on too strong. Instead, you put that grabby hand back into your purse to get the other thing you had to give to him. 
“Another lesson for the genius,” You announced, extending out the bottle of lube for him to see it. This time he was quicker to grab it, bringing it up to his face to inspect it with thoughtful eyes. “Water based lubricant is best. It’s water soluble, so it’s easy to clean up. And unlike other kinds, it won’t wear down the silicone of the toy over time or wear through the latex of condoms.” 
You bringing up condoms caused a jolt in Spencer’s chest. Were you just giving him some friendly advice about safe sex or - or did you actually intend to have intercourse with him? Would there be a need for condoms between the two of you in the future? 
The words gave him a temporary bold streak (that and the sexual adrenaline pumping through his system) and he decided to voice his thoughts before he became too shy. 
“Can I ask you something?” He asked quietly, his voice taking on that sweet, mousy quality that it usually did whenever he got nervous. 
“Of course.” You nodded. 
You thought that he might have more questions about the lube or the toy. But what he said next - combined with the fact that he looked at you shyly through his lashes like a doll, like he knew exactly what he was doing - absolutely knocked the wind out of you. 
“You… You said that you like teaching me things. So - do you think-?” 
He paused for a moment, clearing his throat. 
“Could - could you give me a demonstration?” He asked, his voice still shy and sweet. 
Your lips gaped in shock - at first you thought you had misheard him. And when the words fully penetrated your ears, you thought that you had somehow misunderstood him. He couldn’t possibly mean-? He wanted you to use the toy on him? 
You were shocked that Spencer Reid was openly asking for something like that. 
Seeing the shock and slight confusion across your features, Spencer’s mouth raced past his better judgment. His lips plowed over that thing in the back of his brain nagging at him to shut up - and he kept on going. 
“It only seems logical that, when tackling something new, especially something this… skill-based, I would need to be shown what to do.” He explained, his mouth running off in that way it always did when he sounded far too much like he knew what he was talking about. “It seems advisable to be shown by someone with more experience. Experience that I don’t have. I need you to show me. Please.” 
The last word came out as a breathy plea from him. You could have easily gotten stuck on the fact that he had basically just admitted to you that he was a virgin. But instead, him simply saying that word: ‘please’, begging to you like your attention was the most precious thing in the world; it kickstarted something in your brain and switched on the dominant persona that you had always wanted to use with him. 
The air shifted in the room then, and you both knew it. It was like a fire crackling around you. Spencer didn’t know what to do with it, but luckily, you did. He waited with anxious breath for your guidance, your instruction. 
“You need me to show you?” You repeated his words, using the buttery sweet voice that you usually did when you had someone so willing and pliant for you. 
Instinctively, you reached over to him and gently cupped his cheek. He easily leaned into the touch, shuddering with delight and letting out a small sigh as you made contact with his skin for the first time. It was the first time you had really touched him, aside from casual hugs of comfort after stressful situations that the job naturally gave the two of you. But this was entirely different. 
He hummed in affirmation to answer your question, his eyes growing large with lust, pupils blown out as he melted into you. 
“What do you want me to show you, pretty boy?” You asked, running your thumb along his bottom lip, admiring how absolutely pink his mouth was. 
You hoped that you could prompt a genuine answer out of him - get him to say the words. You had never heard Spencer talk about anything crude before, and you wondered if he was even capable of talking dirty. You hoped that if he wouldn’t say the words on his own, you could coach him into doing it. You could only imagine the satisfaction of getting that smart mouth to utter such filthy things. 
“I want…” Spencer swallowed harshly, clearly having a difficult time with his mouth drying out now that you had a hand on him, even though the touch was fairly ‘innocent’. “I want you to show me… everything.”
The intense emphasis that he put on the word sent sparks flying inside of you. 
It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a ‘demonstration’ of the toy. It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a one night stand to get off. 
Intense want flared up of you. 
The temptation to own him, to make him yours… the temptation to take all of his first and have him tied to you like a lost puppy because of it - it was an intense one. But you wouldn’t hurt him, no. You would do it right. You would own him in that way because he wanted it just as badly as you did. 
“Spencer,” 
You said his name suddenly, harconing for his attention with it. You stroked your thumb along his cheek before you pulled the touch away completely. His head bobbed forward slightly to chase your hand, but he let you go without protest. 
“If we’re going to do this, there has to be rules.” You told him firmly. “If I’m going to be your teacher, you have to listen to me. Teachers need rules, right?” 
Spencer nodded vigorously at this. 
“Of course. Yeah - yeah. You’re right.” He eagerly agreed. Then of course, he asked the obvious question. “What are the rules?” 
You beamed a smile at him, loving his enthusiasm. 
You knew that he would be a good boy. He was so eager to follow rules, to learn. Your body began tingling with delight at the thought of him looking up at you with hazy eyes, asking for his next command. 
You had to forcibly clear your head. Right now you had to be level headed in order to teach him the rules. 
“Okay the first rule - the most important one,” You prefaced, causing Spencer to straighten up slightly, showing his attentiveness, an eager student ready to learn. “Is that you need to pick a safeword. A word you can say during the scene so that I can know if you’re uncomfortable or if you need to stop.” 
“‘The scene’?” Spencer asked, repeating back the phrase to you. “Also - why can’t the safeword just be ‘stop’, or ‘no’? Wouldn’t you just stop things if I said ‘no’?” 
You decided to tackle his questions one at a time. 
“Calling it a ‘scene’ - it’s lingo.” You said. “You know that everything comes with its own set of linguistics.” You told him, playing into his pre-existing knowledge. He nodded at this. 
You then continued your explanation. 
“A ‘scene’ means… any type of sexual play. Some people call it ‘playtime’. It’s lingo that exists because for a lot of people, sex is much more than just intercourse. It can start with speech and behavior and any interactions that they have with their partner when they’re alone. Like foreplay. So a safeword needs to be included in those moments too, in case someone needs to call timeout.” 
Spencer nodded at this. It made him wish that he had developed a safeword with Lila Archer. Not because he hadn’t enjoyed the oral sex - but because to this day, he still shuddered at the possibility of being embarrassed by someone walking in on them, or the consequences if someone found out about the improprieties of it all. 
“As far as the safeword being ‘no’, or ‘stop’…” You took the time to find the right words to explain it. 
Spencer waited patiently, feeling curious about this. 
“I will always look out for your safety, and if you seem uncomfortable, I’ll ask you if you’re okay.” You assured him, giving him a gentle pat on the knee. Spencer smiled at this, and you enjoyed that you had comforted him with these words. 
“But sometimes ‘no’ doesn’t work.” You went on to explain. “Like… if I asked you something like ‘do you want me to stop?’ and you say ‘no’, that is a positive affirmation to continue what I’m doing, but it uses a negative word. Same thing with the word ‘stop’. If you told me ‘don’t stop’ - but your voice was too quiet on the first word or I didn’t properly hear you, then I may stop when you wouldn’t want me to.” 
For the first time, Spencer felt as though he was the one being schooled. 
You telling him ‘I may stop when you don’t want me to’ had him drawing an image up in his head of you vigorously riding him, taunting him while you were so well composed and he was reduced to a stuttering mess because of your wetness clenching around him. With you mistaking his words for a signal of distress, and taking away your beautiful body before he got to orgasm. It would be tragic. 
He easily understood what you meant. 
“The point of a safeword,” You continued on. “Is that it stands out. It’s a word you would never otherwise say during playtime. A word that would never come up during sex - except for you signaling your discomfort. So when I hear that word, I know that we need to shift gears into aftercare.” 
“What’s aftercare?” Spencer asked, eager to learn another new term as it was introduced to him. 
Again, you were puzzled about how to explain it, how to put it into words for someone who had no clue what the word meant. 
These were things you had known about for years, words that were a natural part of your vocabulary now. Things you had been doing before you even knew the terms for it. It was strange having to explain it to someone so fresh. 
“It - um…” You thought for a moment. “Aftercare is what happens after a scene. It’s the period of time when you mentally and physically wind down, in order to take care of your body and mind. Because of the physical exertion and the endorphins, sex can be exhausting and mentally tedious, as much as it is fun. So - aftercare helps transition the body and mind back into non-sexual activities. Different people need different kinds of aftercare, but usually it’s things like: drinking water, eating a snack, cuddling, words of affirmation.” 
“That sounds nice.” Spencer said quietly. “Would you do that for me even - even though I’m not your boyfriend?” 
You held back what you instinctively wanted to say - that you wanted him to be your boyfriend. That you wanted to own him like a cute little pet and didn’t want any other woman (or man) to touch him. 
Instead, you went with the diplomatic answer. 
“Of course I would.” You told him. “Aftercare is part of being a good - a good teacher.” 
You quickly cut yourself off from using the word ‘dominant’ and replaced it with ‘teacher’ instead. You didn’t want to scare him with the idea that you would be intimidating, mean, cold - traditional ideas behind the term ‘dominant’. 
“I want to be good to you, Spence.” You quickly added on. 
His cock throbbed inside of his pants at this. 
“So, you have to pick your safeword.” You told him. “Something that stands out, something that will easily come to your mind.” 
Spencer took a moment, and you saw him take a sideways glance at the coffee table. The chess set that was there caught his eye, and that didn’t surprise you. 
“Bishop?” Spencer posed, looking at you with eyes that said he was absolutely searching for your approval. “Is that good?” 
“Yes, baby, that’s perfect.” You told him. 
If you did your job well enough as a dominant, then he wouldn’t need to use the word. 
You would be able to tell just by his body language and him voicing his enjoyment how far you should take things. And when he was comfortable enough, you would discuss other sexual acts, and what else you should try. Though, for tonight, you had a feeling you should take control without telling him too much of what you wanted to do. You didn’t need him getting shy on you just because of some dirty talk. 
“You said that was only the first rule,” Spencer mentioned, remembering what you had said. “What are the other rules?” 
“Well, the second rule is: you listen to me. You listen to everything I say. You do everything I say. You don’t question me.” You told him firmly. “Because I’m the teacher, I’m in charge.” 
Spencer wanted to question you then. He wanted to point out that this sounded like multiple rules, but the way you said ‘I’m in charge’ caused something inside of him to quake, and he easily fell under your authority. 
He nodded. 
“The next rule is: you speak when spoken to, Spencer.” You told him, your tongue sharp on the words. 
You were heavily enjoying ordering him around now. 
These were two roles that the two of you fell so naturally into: he was soft and submissive under your dominant energy, and he only wanted more as your ego thrived off his eager submission. It was the start of a beautiful relationship forming. 
“Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” The title came flying out of his mouth before he could stop it, and then he instantly wanted to backpedal. “I’m sorry.” 
“No, I like that.” You told him with a grin. “Though, if you want to give me a title, call me Miss.” 
You held back from telling him the true title you desired. Again, not wanting to scare him away. Perhaps it was something you could ween him towards on another day. 
“Yes, Miss.” He corrected, nodding. “Uh - Miss? Is - is there anything else?” 
“Only two more things.” You told him. Of course, you didn’t want to overload him, but you wanted him to know your most important rules up front. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to explain. “You can’t touch me without asking first. And of course, you can’t touch me unless I give you permission.” 
This news cast the saddest puppy look across his features. Clearly, he was deeply disappointed by the thought that he wouldn’t be able to grope and grab at your body freely. He was upset by the thought that you would deny him access to touching you. You could definitely use that if he ever misbehaved. 
“And the last thing is: you can’t cum without my permission.” You told him, almost as if it were an afterthought. With any of your other partners, it would have been. Because it would have been a basic ground rule. 
“Come where?” Spencer asked, his brows knit together in the most adorably confused manner you had seen yet. 
Of course, he was confused. He had never before heard someone use the term ‘cum’ to refer to an orgasm. He was used to hearing that word - ‘come’ - paired with something else like ‘come here’. So he wondered what the hell you possibly meant by it. 
You found yourself grinning like the cat who ate the canary as you realized that you would also have to explain this piece of slang to him. 
“No, Spence, not C-O-M-E, like the verb. It’s C-U-M. It’s slang used interchangeably with the word ‘orgasm’.” You explained to him. “Sometimes it can be a verb. Like the act of cumming, it means orgasming. Or sometimes it’s a noun. Sometimes people use the word ‘cum’ instead of saying semen. ‘Cum’ is the fluid. As in: ‘I want your cum inside of me’.” 
You intentionally teased him with this example, saying it as casually as a straight forward grammar lesson, looking him in the eyes the entire time. His eyes lit up at your words - obviously, he had no clue that such a simple sentence could turn him on so much. But the words immediately painted a picture in his mind of that white, sticky fluid dripping down your inner thighs, put there by him. It was so perfect that it almost made him dizzy. 
When Spencer didn’t say anything, you continued with your ‘lesson’. 
“When I said that you can’t cum without my permission, I meant that you can’t have an orgasm unless I say so.” You told him with finality.  
He looked struck with worry at this. Partially at the idea that he wouldn’t get to have an orgasm if you didn’t give him permission, and partially at the thought that if he accidentally orgasmed without your permission, you would be angry with him and cut off all further sexual contact. 
“What’s wrong, Spence?” You had to ask. 
“How - how does that work?” He asked, all too curious at how he could stop himself from orgasming or how he could get your permission first. 
“Well, you know what it feels like when you’re about to have an orgasm, right?” You asked, really hoping that he at least masturbated regularly. You didn’t think you could have the burden of giving him his first ever orgasm. He nodded and this and you felt a small breath of relief leave you. “So, when you feel like that, you simply ask me if you’re allowed to cum. Ask me if you can cum.” 
“Will you let me?” Spencer asked nervously, sheepishly. You distinctly noticed how he avoided the word. He didn’t say the sentence as you had. You yearned to hear him say ‘will you let me cum?’ - but you knew you had to give him time to shake off his shyness. 
“If you’ve been a good boy, then yes.” You told him. “Good boys follow the rules. But I don’t think you’ll have any problems, Spence.” 
You saw him relax at this - any tension leaving his muscles. 
You conveniently left out the part where you might edge him, might not let him cum just for your own amusement. 
“I think that’s all for now.” You told him. “Now that we have the rules set - do you wanna play with your new toy?” 
Spencer’s face absolutely lit up at this. 
“Yes, please.” He said, his voice somehow still shy and quiet. “Yes, please, Miss.” 
Your stomach jolted with intense pleasure at his declaration. 
Spencer thought that you would simply grab the toy from him and unzip his pants. He was surprised when you stood up, and began looking around the room as though you were looking for something. But in alignment with the rules, he didn’t question you. He didn’t ask what you were looking for or why. Instead, he just sat there quietly and waited for your instructions. 
When you seemed satisfied with your idea, you then began moving around. You leaned down and pushed away the coffee table, pushing it as far back as it would go. This made a fair amount of space in front of the couch. And before Spencer could become truly curious about it, you turned to the side of the room - toward a space where he had a small table. 
It was meant to be a sort of ‘dining’ table, suitable for one or two people in an apartment like his. It had two chairs, but one of the chairs was piled up with books and the surface of the table had some files on it that he had taken home from work. He did sit on the other chair to eat occasionally - during the rare times he actually sat down and had a meal at home. 
You grabbed the empty chair - which was a wooden chair with a round back and decorative wooden bars coming off the seat, holding the back of it up. (Something Spencer had picked up at a yard sale.) And then you put the chair in the middle of the room, right in the space you had cleared from moving the coffee table. The chair was facing the couch - and it became apparent to Spencer then that this was a stage. 
You were either going to sit in that chair and watch him, or he was going to be the thing on display in the middle of the room. The idea of that happening - the idea of you watching him like a show, like he was something to admire - that put a twist in his stomach. It was something almost too daunting for him to conquer. He found himself swelling with shyness again, wanting to back down from this. 
He feared that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. He feared that he was gangly, thin, undesirable. He feared that his experience would steer him wrong somewhere and he would mess up terribly and turn you off. 
He thought that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. 
But he wanted to impress you so badly. He wanted you. He wanted your touch. He wanted to be a good boy for you, like you had said. 
“Give me your belt.” You said, turning to him expectantly and holding out your hand. 
“My - my belt?” He asked. 
Then, he immediately scolded himself inside as he realized that was questioning you, and against the rules. 
You let that one slide. He was still getting used to this, and it must have been an odd, confusing instruction to hear right off the bat. 
“Yes, your belt. I need it.” You said, still holding out your hand. “Come on.” 
Spencer stood up then, his hands and legs shaking slightly from nerves and the overwhelming lust. Although he was taller than you, he felt so entirely small as you stared at him, waiting patiently while his shaking hands struggled to undo the buckle and then slip the leather out of the belt loops.
When he finally handed it over to you, you took the belt in hand and inspected it for a moment before you quietly said ‘perfect’ under your breath. You then looked between Spencer and the chair - he was still wearing his work attire. A cardigan, a button up shirt and tie, his usual slacks, and his adorable dorky glasses. He had taken off his shoes at the door, revealing his oddly sweet mismatched socks. 
“Spencer,” 
You called his name, capturing his attention from where he was swaying on the spot, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on his cardigan to avoid looking at you. As soon as he looked up at you with those big, wet eyes, you felt confident in giving him your next instruction. 
“I want you to take off all your clothes. Except for your glasses and your socks.” You told him, giving him his first proper orders. 
He held his voice in his throat when he felt the need to question you about it, to ask you why. 
You wanted him to keep the glasses on because they brought an entirely dorky charm to him - you wanted to see if they would fog up when he became heated with lust. The socks? You thought they were cute, but it was mostly a test to see how closely he would follow the instructions. To test how well he would listen. 
He did as he was told. He stripped off his sweater, and then his tie, and then his watch, leaving his wrists nice and bare for you. His fingers began to shake slightly as he descended on the buttons of his shirt - clearly, he was feeling nervous once again, so you decided to give him some encouragement. 
“You’re being such a good boy, Spence.” You told him. “So good for me.” 
He let out a quiet breath at the praise - a precursor to a moan. It was something that compelled him to strip faster, and gave him a small boost of courage when reaching for the zipper of his pants. After he unzipped them - his erection clearly fighting to be freed of the fabric - your mouth began watering at the sight as he reached for the waistband of his pants and his underwear all at once and slid them down. 
A snake of surprising length popped out of his pants. His dick began bobbing around carelessly, smearing shiny precum all over his skin as he unhooked himself from the legs of his pants and put them aside. 
You had to marvel at it. 
You had never really thought about what Spencer might look like naked before. You had never allowed your mind to venture there. But now that you were seeing his cock: nine inches long, skinny and lean like he was, pale with a bright pink tip, sprouting from a thick thatch of dark pubic hair - it just made sense. He was tall and gangly, and so was his cock. It would be an impressive sword to impale yourself upon - but that would be for another day. 
Spencer caught you staring, of course. 
He had the urge to cover himself with his hands, and found himself clenching his fists by his sides because he figured that you wouldn’t like him trying to hide from you. 
He wondered if it looked weird. He wondered if you didn’t like it. He wondered-
“You’re beautiful, Spencer.” You said, your voice so drenched in utter sincerity that you almost broke into a gasp trying to get the words out. “So fucking beautiful.” 
Again, he wanted to question you - but didn’t. He wanted to be a good boy. He would follow the rules. 
“Th-thank you, Miss.” He muttered out quietly, almost unable to accept the compliment. 
“Come here, sit down.” You told him, motioning toward the chair. 
He nodded, his legs feeling rather numb as he moved to follow your instructions. When his ass made contact with the wooden surface of the chair, he let out a gasp at how cool it was compared to his heated skin. You quietly giggled at this, and then grabbed the belt from where you had put it down. He grew tense and curious once again when you walked behind him. 
You grabbed one of his wrists and began to guide it behind him, but he was so tense that you knew it would be uncomfortable for him. You eased your touch with a flat palm up his forearm and bicep, across his shoulder until you could press the weight of your thumb into the base of his neck. He moaned lightly at this, melting into the touch. 
“Relax, baby.” You urged. Spencer relaxed even further at the nickname, absolutely blooming with affection inside because of it. “I’m not gonna do anything to hurt you. I just want to make you feel good.” 
To drive home this point, you leaned in and planted a simple kiss on the back of his head, and then one on the side of his neck. Spencer let out a fluttering moan at this. He wanted more of those kisses, but he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask for it. 
He could find no faults with what you had said, so he did his best to do as you instructed. He relaxed, leaning back fully against the chair - which was slightly uncomfortable while he was completely naked and throbbing hard, waiting for you to touch him more. But he trusted you. 
You grabbed one of his wrists, and then the other, and guided them behind his back. 
It was much easier now that his muscles were softer, more pliant to you. 
You knelt down and used the belt to tie them simply. You looped the belt through the wooden slats so his hands would be held to the chair, and then placed both of his wrists into the loop. You didn’t want it to be so tight that the material would cut into his wrists painfully or cut off circulation, you just wanted to restrict his movement. 
Which would absolutely be the case when his arms were bound behind him, awkwardly tied to the back of the chair. You hooked the buckle into the smallest notch, giving him a bit of room to move, a bit of a gap to put your finger between the belt and his skin. However, it put his shoulders at an awkward angle so he would need your help getting out of it. 
“Is that okay?” You asked. “Not too tight? Be honest.” 
Spencer thought that he should feel slightly afraid or too vulnerable - being completely naked and tied to a chair like this. But with you, he felt safe. 
“It’s good.” He told you honestly. “Not too tight.” He assured you, moving to show off that wiggle room, demonstrating that the material wasn’t cutting into his wrists. 
“Good,” You sighed quietly, standing up once again. 
You walked around him like a predator circling their prey, making graceful, careful moments as you took in the sight of him. 
He was absolutely, beautifully sinful in this state. 
Stripped entirely naked, except for those glasses and those adorable, mismatched socks, sitting in the chair with his hands bound behind his back. All while he stared at you with his wide, expectant eyes, waiting for whatever your next move would be. While his heavy, hard cock leaked freely against his stomach, smearing a trail of sticky precum across his skin. 
You reached forward and grabbed his chin, tilting his head up slightly to look at you. Having someone as tall as Spencer look up at you for a change was entirely powerful. You held him there while you asked him a very important question. 
“You gonna be good for me?” You asked him. 
Instinctively for him, there was only one answer. 
“Yes.” He whimpered out. “Yes, Miss. I want to be good for you.” 
The pure sincerity of his declaration caused another wave of wetness from your aching pussy. For now, you would ignore your own needs. You would take care of him, make sure that this was a pleasurable experience for him. 
“Good boy,” You praised him, giving him a light kiss on the forehead - to which he sighed quietly in delight. 
Then, you let go of his face completely and turned to grab the item that had started this whole thing. 
You were excited to finally use it on Spencer. 
Spencer watched with awe and intrigue as you grabbed the toy and then the lube - you peeled off the plastic shrink wrap on the lube bottle with your teeth, and then popped the cap. And you turned so Spencer could see as you poured a generous amount of lube into the opening of the toy. 
“Don’t be afraid to use too much lube,” You told him, being a proper teacher. “In my opinion, there’s no such thing as ‘too wet’. But ‘too dry’ can cause skin irritation from friction. Or tearing if you’re trying to insert something like fingers or a penetrative toy. Like a dildo. Adequate lubrication always reduces the risk of both those things,” 
Spencer wanted to ask if there were other kinds of penetrative toys aside from dildos, but he figured that would be a question for another time. 
“Yes, Miss.” He nodded in understanding, absorbing what you had told him. 
You looked between the toy and his cock, and realized you might as well slick him up beforehand. 
You took a step closer to him and put the thickness of the fleshlight between his thighs, propping it there while you quietly mumbled ‘hold this’ - which caused him to tense his thighs in order to keep it from falling. He became enraptured by the sight of the silicone pussy, lubed and wet as a real one would be. He was so distracted by the sight that he almost didn’t take in you pouring lube into your hand before you capped the bottle and put it aside. 
“This is probably gonna be cold,” You warned him quietly before you used your lubed hand to take a hold of his cock. 
It was. And he let out a harsh gasp - from the shock of the cold wetness, a sound that quickly turned into a strangled moan as you formed a loose grip around his cock and began spreading the wetness over him with purpose. The lube soon warmed between your palm and the throbbing skin of his cock, and he unconsciously bucked into your touch, almost knocking the fleshlight out from resting between his thighs. 
“Stay still.” You ordered sharply, shoving his hips back down with your free hand. 
The harshness behind your voice, and your thumb pressing into his hip bone sent him reeling. He was so pliant under your touch. Between your commanding authority and the slickness of your lubed hand moving in a slow rhythm in lazy pumps up and down his cock - he was already way too fucking close. 
You knew it. You could see the way his stomach muscles quaked, the tensing of his thighs. Those little lilting gasps like music to your ears. 
You wondered if he would spurt cum all over your hand before he warned you. (If he did, you would likely pump him through it just to see if he would get hard again.) 
“Miss-!” He hollered, choking on the word. 
You abruptly stopped then. You stiffened your grip around the base of his cock - which was now nicely lubed up, and throbbing even harder as you effectively used your fingers around his pelvis like a cockring, causing his orgasm to fade dully back into his muscles. He let out a wounded sound, a confused moan from deep in his chest, his stomach shaking even harder as if he was trying to force the orgasm out past your gatekeeping touch. It was almost cute. 
“Yes, Spencer?” You asked, looking at him dumbly as though you had no clue what he had been trying to say. 
“I - I was getting close.” He completed the thought breathlessly. “C-close to orgasm.” 
Damn. If he was this fucked out now, you couldn’t wait to see what he would be like when you were done with him. 
“Well, good boys only cum with permission, right?” You said, grinning at him fiendishly. 
“Yes, Miss.” He said quickly, his voice dull with disappointment, but agreeable. 
“Good boy.” You praised once again. You felt his cock twitch in your hand at the words. “Besides, you haven’t even gotten a chance to try out your new toy yet.” 
You then grabbed up the toy and turned it over, using your hand on the base of his cock to feed his length into the fake pussy. More cool lube came rushing down to meet him, and his lungs shook once again and his heated skin was shocked by the feeling. It was strange, but pleasurable as his cock was enveloped by the soft, wet walls of the toy. It was so, so very tight around his cock - and oddly cool, far wetter than he had expected thanks to the amount of lube you had used. 
Spencer reasoned that it might be like sticking his cock in a watermelon, if that watermelon were also made of rubber bands. 
You knelt down in front of Spencer, looking in awe between the spot where his cock disappeared into the fake leaking pussy to his face. Seeing his reaction to this was utterly beautiful - the way his jaw naturally fell open, his eyes half closed as the pleasure overtook him. 
“Oh!” Spencer let out a sudden, high startled sound as you shoved the toy down onto his cock fully. 
Your eyes once again flickered between his dick and his face, and you came to an utterly stunning realization. 
He didn’t fully fit inside of the toy. 
There was about an inch of his cock that was still sticking out of it at the base, and with the resistance your hand had brought up into, you knew that he was fully seated inside of it. Well - as fully seated as he could get, apparently. 
It was one of the hottest things you had ever seen, and it sent a dizzying wave of endorphins through you. The sight of his cock not fully fitting into the silicone pussy was a stunning visual that made you realize just how deep he would go inside of you. It made your throat dry for a moment, forced you to swallow hard before you could speak. 
“You’re right here, baby?” You asked, tapping a finger on the top of the toy, knowing that he would feel it as a vibration through the plastic. 
He let out a gasp and bucked his hips up slightly, something that made you smile. He was too hazy to answer you already, something that you forgave for now. He was just too beautiful to scold in these moments. 
“Fuck, you don’t even fit into this thing all the way, do you?” You gasped quietly, still absolutely marveling at the sight. 
“I don’t?” Spencer gaped, finally looking down to where the toy was swallowing his cock, seeing as your words had captured his attention. “Is - is that bad?” 
He was struck with worry. He thought that perhaps his cock wasn’t right - that he shouldn’t be doing this, that you wouldn’t like him. 
It was in that moment that you realized what a treasure you had come across. A beautiful, intelligent man with a huge cock who had no idea how to use it. Someone who needed to be taught from scratch. Someone who could be molded into anything you wanted him to be. (At least in the sexual sense.) That, and he seemed to be naturally submissive and derive pleasure from following your orders. 
You most definitely weren’t going to let him go anytime soon. 
“No, baby, that’s a good thing.” You assured him. “That’s a great thing.” 
Spencer smiled at this - an expression that slacked off into a moan when you made your next move. 
You gave the toy a slow half-pump before you seated it on his cock again, seemingly knocking the wind out of them. Then, you let go of the toy completely, letting him sit there with the fleshlight on his cock, bobbing in mid-air. It began to rise up slightly as the tightness of it hugged his cock, and unconsciously, he bucked up his hips, seeking more friction. But of course - the object was simply hanging there, seated on his cock, unmoving. It was an entirely fruitless venture. 
With his hands tied behind his back, he needed you. It was an adorable struggle to watch for a moment, especially when his face knit with frustration and his thighs began to quiver from the effort. 
“Please,” He begged. He was so pretty when he begged. “Help me.” 
“You want me to help you fuck your toy?” You teased, reaching for it again. 
“Please, Miss.” 
When he whined like that, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. 
You took a good grip on the plastic then, and began a quick, smooth rhythm. You were eager to see his reaction to being fucked well, being fucked without hesitation. 
Spencer immediately shuddered and began letting out harsh whimpers. He bit his lip, but it didn’t keep the sounds from wailing out of his throat as you pumped the toy up and down on his cock. 
His chin was tilted down onto his chest, keeping his eyes locked on the place where the toy was devouring his hard cock. This caused his glasses to slip down his nose bridge slightly, something so entirely adorable to you in the moment. With his thighs tense and his stomach quaking, with that pool of artificial wetness leaking onto his pubes and slowly creeping down over his balls - he was so beautifully fucked out, the most perfect picture you had ever seen in your life. 
“Oh - oh, oh, oh god!” His mouth fell open once again and an array of sounds fell out, a beautiful little choir that you could have only dreamed of coming from him. “Oh, please!” 
You had to wonder if he was the type of person to swear when he came. Spencer was never the type of person to swear during other extreme situations. You had never seen him let out a single curse, not even with a gun to his head. 
You had to wonder if you could be the one to make him swear. 
“Please, Miss!” He squeaked out, sounding entirely wrecked and desperate. “Please, I’m close-!” 
You couldn’t resist the temptation of stilling the toy completely, abruptly cutting off his orgasm once again. Spencer let out a broken sound as his muscles jolted and the feeling ebbed through him - so close, but not quite there. It was like a terrible ache in his muscles. Like a deep, terrible thirst with nothing to drink. 
“Please,” He begged, his eyes shooting to lock onto you. “Please! Please, Miss.” 
“Please, what, baby?” You teased him, reaching up and gently carding your fingers through his hair, brushing some of it off his forehead. He had a light sheen of sweat going, his body clearly strained. It was delightful to witness. 
“Please,” He rasped out brokenly, so entirely desperate.  “I - I need it.” 
You bit your lip, holding back laughter at how perfect this was.
“Need what, baby?” You continued to tease him. “Come on, use your words.” 
He swallowed hard, and stared at you with glassy desperation in his eyes. Either he was shy, or had no clue what exactly it was you wanted him to say - so you decided to guide him along. 
“Say: I need to cum.” You told him, hoping that he was desperate enough now that he would simply repeat the filthy words. 
“I - I need to cum.” He repeated, only mild hesitation on his lips. 
“Say: I need you to make me cum.” You told him, pushing it a bit father. 
“I need you,” He said, pausing slightly to catch his breath. “Need you to make me cum.” 
“Good boy.” You praised him, running his hand through your hair once again. 
You stood up this time, and put one hand on the back of the chair behind his shoulder for leverage, leaning over him as you took the toy in hand and started moving it once again. This gave him a perfect view down your top, and his lustful gaze locked onto your swaying cleavage as you worked on jacking the fake pussy on his cock. It was a maddening suction that had him grunting lowly with every thrust, letting out whines, flexing his hips to fuck his cock up into the toy. 
“Does it feel good, pretty boy?” You asked, so heavily enjoying the sight of him so messy, so wrecked. 
“Yes!” He easily replied. 
“What are you thinking about? Hmm?” You couldn’t help but to ask. 
“I - hnng - I - I don’t know!” He gaped. 
Either he was lying, and simply didn’t want to tell you what was on his mind, or you had truly fucked his head empty. If it was the second, then you would heavily enjoy that fact. 
“You don’t know?” You asked, your voice absolutely teasing once again. “Well, that’s a first.” You chuckled. 
Spencer panted harshly, filling the space for a moment - along with the wet squelching of the toy moving up and down on his cock as your wrist continued to work. And then you became bold enough to ask the question that you truly wanted to. 
“You thinkin’ about my pussy?” You prodded. “You imagining that this toy is me? Wondering what’s gonna be like when I finally sit on your cock?” 
“Yes!” He was suddenly very eager to admit to this. Clearly it helped that he didn’t have to say the words for himself. “Yes! Yes, Miss! I want you. I want your-”
He cut himself off suddenly, moaning sharply as the tip of his cock brought up in the end of the fake pussy once again. It sent a jolt of pleasure-pain through him that had his skin boiling even hotter. You wondered if he would be bold enough to say the word ‘pussy’ or if you would have to heavily prompt him. 
But that thought left your head completely with his next words. 
“Oh! Oh, please! I’m so close!” 
Again, feeling the devil rise up inside of you, you stopped off his orgasm. 
This time, by pulling the toy away completely. You lifted the fleshlight off his cock, and watched with lustful joy as his cock slipped out of the opening with a wet pop. His thighs quaked with bitter agony and his long cock bobbed in the air, dripping thick waves of precum and lube as it separated from the toy. 
Everything was so wet. 
It was honestly a gorgeous sight, like a mini tidal wave dripping down onto the chair as the toy continued to leak the generous amount of lube you had put into it and his cock let out pathetic little spurts of precum. His pubes were glossy and matted together, his inner thighs were absolutely slick. He was glistening and whining harshly as the ruined orgasm crashed through his body, making his mind somehow even hazier and more desperate. 
“God!” He choked out. “Please!” 
He blinked harshly and a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes, making him look even more gorgeous somehow. 
“Please - please! I need - I need - oh god!” He began sobbing nonsensically, begging you for release as he was practically on the verge of madness. 
Your cunt throbbed at seeing him so wrecked - so utterly dependent on you. 
“Hey, hey, shh.” You reached your free hand out and thumbed under the edge of his glasses - the thick lenses only magnifying his glassy eyes and lustful, broken tears all the more. You soothed your touch across his burning cheek, reassuring him. “You’ve been such a good boy. I’m gonna let you cum now. Okay?” 
“Please!” He sobbed. 
Hearing his voice so broken and needy probably shouldn’t have turned you on so much, but you absolutely loved it. 
“Hey, shh,” You continued to rub his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “I just need one thing from you first.” 
“Anything!” He easily declared. 
“I need you to say: ‘may I cum, please?’” You told him. 
It was a start on the scale of filthy things that you wanted to hear from his mouth, but it would definitely be oh so satisfying. 
And then - as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you, he blinked his big eyes and looked up at you through tear wet lashes, giving you the most pouty, fuckable look as he leaned into your hand before he said the words. 
“May I cum, please?” He asked. And then, like the wet dream that he was, he seamlessly added on. “Please, Miss. I-I’ve been a good boy.” 
“Yes, you have been.” You told him. “I’ll make you cum now baby.” 
You used both hands to get his cock back inside of the toy - the sound of his cock fucking back into the fake pussy was so much wetter, the whine he let out made your knees weak. 
You doubled your efforts now, even going so far as to squeeze your grip on the outside of the plastic - which made the silicone grip his cock just that little bit tighter as you slammed it up and down on him. Your movements were hard and fast in the effort to make him cum for certain this time. 
“Oh, oh, oh, you - oh!” Spencer began babbling nonsense, his words barely broken up by harsh breaths being sucked into his lungs and whimpers emanating from his throat at the intense pleasure. “Oh, Miss - you - you’re so - ah!” 
“Where’s that big IQ now, boy genius?” You taunted him, keeping up the brutal pace. “Did I make you all stupid? Did I melt your big brain? Huh?” 
Spencer all but confirmed this as truth when he gurgled out nothingness as a response. 
You felt slightly bolder, and you became slightly harsher in your degrading words. You almost couldn’t help yourself. You loved tearing him apart so much, having him melt under your touch. You couldn’t help but to brag about the amazing job you had done. 
“Just a dumb little baby now, aren’t you?” You cooed, your voice entirely condescending. “Just a stupid little boy for me. So cumdrunk you can’t even think now, huh? There’s no boy genius here now. Just a dumb baby who needs to cum.” 
He only inflated your ego with his next words. 
“Yes!” He shouted out, entirely confirming what you had said - if he had even properly heard it through the blood pumping in his ears. To him, it might have just been the raw hum of your voice in the background, like an undertone with no true words to it. “Yes! Need - need t’ cum!” 
It was the most incoherent you had ever known Doctor Spencer Reid to be. 
You stared on eagerly as you watched his stomach tighten up, his lungs struggling for breath. 
“Y/N-!” He gasped out your name right before it hit him. 
And when it hit him, when he finally tumbled over the edge into the abyss - boy, it was a big one. 
It was an intense, full body orgasm. His legs shook, his body arched off the chair as though he were having a seizure, actually putting a strain on his bonded arms for the first time. He wildly bucked up into the toy as you continued to work it over his cock, his mouth dropping open wildly as a strain of high pitched, needy whimpers poured out from between his pretty pink lips. 
You were feeling selfish, and you wanted to see him cum at least a bit. 
So knowing that he was riding the wave, you ripped the toy off him, causing a wounded noise to come out of him as his spurting cock fell from it. But you didn’t leave him hanging. You immediately replaced the toy with your hand, and put a tight grip around him, pumping viciously over his throbbing cock, wanting to milk the rest of the orgasm out of him by hand. 
The sudden, shocking overstimulation sent his body into overdrive. 
His thighs shook so hard it could have been mistaken for electrocution, he gasped like a drowning man - he would have begged for mercy, but he couldn’t catch his breath. 
It was the best feeling he had ever experienced. It was pure euphoria, it was heaven on earth. It was an icy hot fire running through his veins that he didn’t even know was possible. 
He had never experienced an orgasm like this before. He knew the feeling of an orgasm to be more like a dull tickle in his groin. But now that he had done this - he didn’t think he could go back to anything else. 
Large spurts of cum blasted from his cock, so overpowering then that painted his stomach, his chest, and much to your delight - a few thick white spurts even dirtied his glasses when you angled his cock that way and kept viciously pumping him. 
His cock was so hot that it felt like it could have burned your hand, so needy and bloated with blood from how long you had edged him. Eventually, when the tip of his cock began to weep out a pathetic clear liquid, and he was on the verge of sobbing once more, you let him go from your grip, finally giving him a moment to breathe. 
You knew for certain that you would never be able to look at Spencer Reid again without seeing this imagery: him, completely fucked out, his face flushed red, mouth agape as he struggled for breath. His naked body, limp cock laying against his pelvis, painted in his own cum - including dirtying up his own glasses. 
You loved those glasses even more now. 
You couldn’t get him to swear - but fuck, that was really something. 
“Thank you.” He said meekly, still struggling for breath. “Th-thank you, Miss.” 
“Good boy.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Such a good boy for me.” 
Now, it was time to take care of him and make sure that he had a good come down. 
You put the toy on the coffee table, placing it with the opening up so it wouldn’t leak everywhere - you wouldn’t clean it later. You also took off his glasses and placed them aside. Again - you would clean them later. 
You rushed to untie his hands, and eased his arms back around his body by gently rubbing his shoulders, hoping that the muscles wouldn’t be too sore or stiff from being in the same position for so long. 
“Such a good boy.” You assured him. “You did so well for me honey.” 
He hummed in acknowledgement. Clearly, he was absolutely exhausted from the ordeal. You hoped you could get his tall, gangly self to his bed on your own if he was so fucked out and weak. You walked back around to his front and laid your lips on his forehead again, murmuring more praises against his skin as you continued to rub his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair. You told him how good he was, how perfect he had been for you, how beautiful he was. 
After a few minutes, you felt his hands on your hips as he came out of the haze. He ran a thumb along the waistband of your pants, and his first words after that haze surprised you. 
“What - what about you?” He asked. 
Clearly, he meant that you should have an orgasm. Your cunt was aching dully between your thighs, and you were sure that you had soaked through your underwear. But that had been a lot for him, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him during the first time. 
“That’ll be a lesson for next time.” You told him quietly. He hummed quietly at this. He felt assured by you simply saying ‘next time’. “I have to clean up your toy now, so you can use it again later. Then I’ll clean you up and tuck you into bed, okay, baby?” 
He nodded. “Yes, please. Thank you.” 
You hesitantly broke away from him and grabbed the toy, and as you moved to leave the room, you paused at him mumbling out more words. 
“Can - can I have a glass of water, please?” He asked quietly. 
“Of course you can, baby.” 
You went into the kitchen and ran the toy under hot water - which you left going as you got a glass and filled it with cold water and ice from the dispenser. You were lucky to find a straw in the takeout bag from earlier - you put it in the glass and, while the hot water was still running in the sink, you rushed out to give Spencer a drink. 
You held the glass while he chugged gratefully from it, and after a few moments, you ensured that he could hold it with his sex tired hands by himself and then you left to finish cleaning up the toy. You set it on his empty dish rack to drip dry (which was quite a sight). And then you went to the bathroom, coming back with a warm cloth to wipe him down. He was only slightly unsteady on his legs as you guided him to bed - his muscles shaking and tired after the whole amazing ordeal. 
You found it endearing that his bed was unmade, surrounded by stacks of books that were lined up on the floor, rather than on any shelf. 
You pulled back the covers completely and helped him get in, and you were tucking him in nicely when he asked the sweet question. 
“Will you cuddle with me?” He asked quietly, looking up at you with those adorable, expectant eyes once again. “You know, for - for the aftercare?” 
You likely would have done it simply because he asked, even if you didn’t deem it ‘necessary’ for aftercare. But because he asked, it was part of good care. 
“Of course.” You answered. “I don’t have any pjs, so do you mind if I sleep in my underwear?” 
You had just tucked him into bed naked, and he was asking you to lay down beside him like that. But still, you wanted to ask how comfortable he would be if you were in a state of undress. 
His eyes shined with interest at the idea of seeing you at least partially undressed. 
“I don’t mind.” He told you. 
You nodded, and stepped back slightly to begin undressing. 
“So - did you have fun?” You asked. You suspected that he had entirely enjoyed himself, but you did want to hear him say it. 
Spencer grinned at this. “I think what we just did has changed my definition of ‘fun’ entirely.” He told you. “In a good way. So you know.” 
You preened at the idea that you had shifted Spencer’s worldview. Someone who most likely spent his free time reading research papers and playing through chess games entirely on his own and called it ‘fun’ would now be thinking about spending his free time playing with you instead. 
You stripped out of your pants, socks, and work blouse, which left you in your simple cotton underwear, a thin cotton camisole and your bra underneath. You decided to take off your bra underneath your shirt and just sleep in the cami and panties for comfort. You knew your underwear was stuck to your cunt from your previous burning arousal, and Spencer’s eyes did focus hard on that, and then focused even harder on the outline of your bare breasts as you ditched your bra off to the side. 
If he had the ability to get hard again after that spectacular orgasm, he probably would have been throbbing at the sight of you. 
You lifted up the covers and crawled into bed with him, cuddling into his side as he tentatively wrapped an arm around your waist. Your stomach fluttered when he kissed the top of your head before you felt his body relax into the mattress. 
“Thank you.” He said quietly, clearly exhausted. “I love it when you teach me things.”
...
Keep Reading Here - Lesson Two: Magic Metacarpals
Note: This is a Capsule Series, so each fic can be read as an individual oneshot. There is no overarching story, and no specific ending.
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prettyboypistol · 3 months ago
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Yo, cis guy here, I've always felt a lot of shame about being super gay for the tf2 men, because it made me feel like less of a man. You reckon I could possibly get a scout or engie x reader when theyre calling the reader handsome, pretty boy, big man, and lots of masculine petnames? Smut or fluff or ignoring this is fine
I really like your work dude 😁
fellow cis guy here- I totally get it man. i'm glad that other guys like me enjoy my work. I also struggled with my attraction to men and fictional men were (and still are) my escape from homophobia and biphobia. Stay safe, you're valid.
TF2 Mercs With a Masculine!Male Reader
Scout
He loves squeezing your muscles and feeling your abs, totally not thinking of you as a goal for himself!
Nicknames include: Big man, big boy, sweet cheeks, hot shot/stuff, bossman, stud, etc.
likes the feeling of your facial hair when you kiss him- it tickle/scratches him in the best way!
Soldier
Thinks of you as the best man in the unit of RED! You're an exemplary man with gusto and power to spare! Solly fell for you when he caught you on a morning run "to keep yourself fit". That dedication got his heart skipping!
Nicknames include: Soldier, pride, the unit's pride and joy, big man
arm. wrestling. as. flirting., sparring. as. flirting. honestly anything that gets him up close and personal to you
Pyro
Hold onto you like a damsel in distress and loves how protective you are over them. As much as Pyro would and has protected you from enemy Spies, they like depending on someone who can hold their own.
nicknames include: My fire, firefly, my fireman, big boy, handsome
They love how you treat them like "just another one of the boys" rather than "the creature"- it really hurts their feelings when they're excluded due to how they cope with life.
Engineer
God he couldn't have asked for a better assistant. You grab heaps of metal for him, toolboxes, and sentries you can pick up with both hands and carry over to him!
Nicknames include: Hoss, handsome, big man, sir, boss
loves watching you work out while he works on his bench (sometimes even being your bench weight)
Demoman
He treats you like how he'd treat any partner of his, no changes. Demo's kind, loving, tender, but would let you fend for yourself to not baby you.
Nicknames include: dear, darlin', lovely, loverboy, handsome, best-shag-of-my-life
loves cuddling up to you and just burying his face in your muscles- but when he's not sleepy he is constantly hooting and hollering about how awesome his boyfriend is.
Heavy
a lot more friendly about his romance, treating you more like a best friend than a romantic partner in public mainly due to his anxiety about "being caught"
nicknames include(mostly in russian): lover, love, handsome man, hero, heart
he loves kissing your strong hands and sliding his hands over your muscles, it assures him that you're strong enough to take care of yourself, and that eases his worries.
Sniper
god this is a useless gay man. he sees you crush a bonk can and his heart skips a beat. you take off your shirt and he's speechless. you make him unprofessional and it ruins him internally.
nicknames include: Hotstuff, love, mate, darling, chickadee, big bugger, bear
he likes asking you to carry his stuff, complaining about his aching arms (totally not to watch you carry his things!!!)
Medic
ooooh god this man is a HOMOSEXUAL for you. on GOD.
nicknames include: honeybear, my love, my heart, my magnum opus, big man, beast
can, has, and will continue to flirt with you on the battlefield, no matter who sees him do it. If anyone gives you shit for being gay, he's instantly at your side and ready to beat them down with you
Spy
i mean... if you have a degradation kink go ahead i guess? he treats you like a bodyguard in public and is cold and callous in other's eyes. they think he hates you. In private however he is all over you. kissing, holding, embracing, etc., whispering sweet nothings in your ears.
nicknames include: my sweet love, my man, my handsome, big beauty, sweetness
although he seems uncaring in public, anyone who disrespects you gets backstabbed as "target practice" later when they least expect it.
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tenpintsofsundrop · 1 year ago
Text
Lessons For A Genius - Lesson One
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Sub!Spencer Reid x Dom!Fem!Reader
Lesson One: Slick Silicone
(aka the one with the pocket pussy)
Summary:
What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot. 
And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on. 
Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.
Word Count: 17,200
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Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: A lot of general stuff pertaining to an average Criminal Minds episode - mentions of death, mentions of murder/killing, mentions of possible trauma from being in the BAU, somewhat graphic descriptions of a dismembered corpse; this is not a casefic but there is a small section where Reid, Morgan, and the reader are at a crime scene and details of a case are mentioned (not a case in the canon, one that I made up); the reader sticks her hand inside of a corpse to get something out of it for the purpose of discovering evidence; making inappropriate jokes about dead bodies - the reader character uses dark humour to cope with the trauma of the BAU job; Spencer doesn't understand sexual slang and the reader has to explain it to him (warning for slightly awkward moments because of this?); the reader calls Spencer 'honey' (could be considered condescending); use of Y/N and L/N (meaning Your Last Name); Reid struggling with his sexuality/Reid has some internal biphobia; mentions of anal sex/anal stimulation but it does not take place during the fic; passing mentions of Reid being bullied in school; mentions of past Spencer x Lila Archer (in this fic, she blew him while he was working that case but they didn't keep contact when he left LA); mentions of the reader going to a sex shop; mentions of the reader dressing feminine/wearing lingerie; mention of Spencer being taller than the reader - but I think he would be taller than most people.
This is primarily a smut fic; there is sub/dom dynamics - Reid is submissive and much more inexperienced (he is 'learning' about sex from the reader character, but he is not completely a virgin, he has had one singular sexual experience before); the reader is dominant and much more experienced sexually; the reader has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns; mentions of Reid being 'innocent' (it's more so that sex is an under-researched area of his life and he is too shy to explore it by himself); undertones of corruption kink; use of a sex toy - the reader gifts Spencer a fleshlight/pocket pussy and they use it together; hand kink - the reader admires Spencer's hands; undertones of corruption kink - the reader is enjoying 'corrupting' Spencer and showing him these things for the first time; BDSM/kink negotiations, possibly under-negotiated kink; the reader teaches Spencer BDSM terms.
Everything in this fic is fully consensual and safe for the characters; Spencer calls the reader 'Miss'; mentions of Spencer cumming inside the reader (does not actually happen during the fic); passing mentions of Spencer being insecure (about his sexual skills and his looks); Spencer is very obedient; the reader calls Spencer: 'good boy', 'baby', 'pretty boy', 'dumb baby'; most of this fic is Spencer being fucked with a fleshlight while it's controlled by the reader; heavy praise kink (from the reader toward Spencer); light bondage - Spencer's hands are bound behind his back; edging - orgasm delay/orgasm denial (from the reader toward Spencer); the reader makes Spencer ask permission to cum; some size kink - big dick Spencer is too big to fully fit inside of a fleshlight; Spencer does a lot of begging in this; slight crying kink - the reader thinks Spencer looks pretty when he cries from being overwhelmed/edged a lot; degradation kink, dumbification kink, reader is condescending towards Spencer; some overstimulation toward the end; slight cum kink - Spencer cums all over himself and the reader enjoys it. I believe that's it. There is descriptions of aftercare!
A/N: fair warning - a lot of this fic is build up/sexual tension (my speciality). and there is a long section before the smut where the reader is teaching Spencer BDSM terms and teaching him how to pick a safeword, but I think it's interesting and I enjoyed writing it. and it's worth the pay-off imo. also remember, if you want me to continue this series, please give me some feedback on it! I would love to hear what you thought of this fic before I start writing another one! I highly resisted the urge to put Mommy kink in this, but I feel like it would be unrealistic for a shy Spencer to be comfortable calling his partner Mommy during a first time (he would have a Mommy kink but he would be way too uptight/uncomfortable to admit it).
...
Being an FBI Profiler meant there were some rather… strange parts to your day. 
Things that were once in a lifetime tragedies for other people that had become intensely casual routines for you. Things like - looking at gruesome crime scene photos, seeing a dead body in person, facing down a killer. 
You liked to thank your nihilism and dark sense of humor for keeping you sane, working a job that would have driven others insane in such a short amount of time. You also liked to distance yourself from the darkness of it, and preferred to think of the people you helped, rather than the people you couldn’t. 
Especially during moments like this, when you were exiting the car at yet another crime scene. It was a dump sight for the body of another young woman, adding to the trail of victims this newest killer was challenging the BAU with. 
“Just like all the others… the limbs and jaw are missing. Eyes gouged out. This guy has one hell of a compulsion.” Morgan commented, looking down at the body… or rather, the torso, with intense disdain. 
“I would say it’s less of a compulsion, and more of a fractured sense of reality.” Reid commented. “It’s likely that the UnSub sees these corpses as pieces of art. It’s why he was frustrated when the first four weren’t found soon enough, that they weren’t discovered when they were… ‘fresh’, so to speak. That’s why he started leaving the clues for law enforcement. He wants his ‘art’ to be seen in a timely manner.” 
“Couldn’t the guy just take up painting or something?” You replied, looking at the body, still slightly shocked by how brutal the whole thing was. 
“Looks like we got another one.” Morgan pointed out, crouching down beside the body, motioning toward a large gash between the victim’s ribs. “Another clue, that is.” 
For the last three victims, the UnSub had cut a hole into their torso and left some kind of object inside. Something small that hinted at where the next victim would be found. 
Morgan looked over his shoulder at you, as though waiting for you to make a move. When you turned to Reid, he was looking over the rim of his coffee cup at you with very expectant eyes, the thick lenses of his glasses making his stare all the more imposing. 
You quickly realized that both of the men wanted you to stick your hand inside the corpse and pull out whatever was inside. 
“What?” You chuckled. “You want me to do it? Is it just cause you think I’m the gross one?” 
Your reputation for having a strong stomach preceded you. 
You were shy or squeamish about anything, socially or functionally, and the team often took advantage of this. They would throw you into an interrogation with a suspect who made crude comments and you would end up grossing the man out with even more graphic words. They would have you sifting through a suspect’s trash looking for receipts or pieces of evidence and sometimes you would laugh at the things you found, rather than gagging at the smell. 
It was rare that anyone on the team saw you flinch. 
“The body’s been sittin’ out here in the sun for three hours.” Morgan said, glancing from the corpse up to the bright sky overhead. “I’m not doin’ it.”
You chanced another look at Reid. The small smirk he wore told you that he wouldn’t have to give some lame excuse about how he was squeamish and had just eaten in order for you to truly give in. 
“Ugh, fine.” You said. 
You naturally met Reid’s hand when he came out of his pocket with a blue latex glove for you to wear. You put it on, switching places with Morgan so you could kneel down beside the body. You put your ungloved hand on the ground to support yourself, and then inserted your fingers into the cavity - the hole between the ribs that the UnSub had made. 
Luckily, you didn’t have to reach too far inside before you felt something. Though, because of the slight decomposition of the body and the bloat from the sun beating down, you did have some trouble getting a good grip on the item to pull it out. 
Naturally, your discomfort with the situation caused your dark sense of humor to act up. You needed the comfort and you barely thought about the odd joke before it left your lips. 
“God, it’s like a fucking fleshlight in here,” You groaned, disgusted laced through your voice as you finally hooked your fingers around the object and managed to pull it out of the wound. 
Morgan chuckled at the joke and held out an evidence bag for you (which he had gotten from one of the uniformed officers on the scene). Before any of you could truly analyze the item that you had just pulled out of the body cavity, a voice trampled over your thoughts as you dropped the item into the plastic bag. 
“Don’t you mean flashlight?” Reid piped up, so eager to correct you, as always. “Also, how is that comparable?” 
You looked up at Reid with awe. 
For a moment, you wondered if he was fucking with you. 
But the look of genuine confusion plastered across his features - something so rare for the certified genius. That look made you realize that he genuinely didn’t know what a fleshlight was. He had no idea what you were talking about. 
Your insides tingled with glee at this realization. 
Morgan sighed when he saw the look that you and Reid exchanged. You, wearing filthy, smug dawning and Reid painted entirely with cluelessness. He hated where the exchange was going, knowing how shameless you always were in conversation. He quickly tried to distract from the interaction. 
“So, this looks like a horseshoe-” Morgan said, motionting to the object in the evidence bag. 
“No, I meant fleshlight.” You said, quickly trampling over Morgan’s words. “F-L-E-S-H-L-I-G-H-T. Fleshlight. Do you not know what that means?” 
This caused Morgan to sigh sharply and shake his head. 
You took off the glove with a snap and tossed it away, happy to be rid of the smell. 
You stood back to your full height, entirely intrigued by Reid’s continued confusion. 
“It could represent luck. Maybe a casino?” Morgan tried in vain to distract the two of you from the conversation once again. 
Maybe he was trying to preserve Reid’s naive innocence, something you were determined to dismantle piece by piece because it gave you intense joy to see the shock cross his features whenever you explained outrageous concepts to him. The time you had explained to him what a ‘blumpkin’ was, you hadn’t stopped laughing for hours when he could hardly believe you. 
“The nearest casino is 45.6 miles away, it’s far outside the UnSub’s geographical comfort zone.” Reid said, quickly dismissing Morgan’s thread of conversation before he turned back to you. “And no, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it a coroner’s term?” 
You let out a harsh snort at this. You had gotten a degree in mortuary science before you became a Profiler (likely something to thank for your strong stomach). But it was your other area of ‘study’ that made you an expert in this. 
“No, honey, it’s not.” You quickly answered. 
There was a slight flash through his features when you called him ‘honey’. You weren’t sure if it was shock or displeasure, but either way he quickly straightened his face and went back to intrigue. He stared at you with his full attention, ready for you to explain it to him. He was ready to learn and catalog the information in that big brain of his.
It was something you found entirely endearing. 
“L/N, please, don’t-” Morgan begged you not to explain it any further, once again wanting to keep Reid in the dark. 
Mostly, he wanted to save himself from the embarrassment of witnessing the interaction between the two of you. 
“What?” You chuckled sharply, turning to Morgan. “There are some things the genius still needs to learn, apparently.” 
Reid rolled his eyes at this. He didn’t want to admit that it was true. 
“The other night I had to explain to him what the distinct difference between a Butt Dial and a Booty Call is,” You continued, giving an example to prove your point. “Because he walked into the bullpen and loudly announced to JJ and Elle that he was sorry that he booty called me at 3am and woke me up.” 
Morgan choked on his laughter when you explained this. 
“Dude, seriously?” He posed, raising a brow at Reid. 
“I fell asleep with my phone in my back pocket when I was reading Voltaire.” Reid explained, a heavy blush falling over his cheeks. “I thought - I thought -” 
“Okay, playboy, I’m gonna go call Hotch about this,” Morgan announced, motioning toward the evidence bag. “And I’m gonna pretend not to hear anything that’s happening over here.” 
Morgan walked off to the car, and Reid turned to you with a defeated look cast over his features. 
“I do appreciate when you explain these kinds of things to me.” He told you softly. “It… it saves me from future embarrassment.” 
As much as you enjoyed the shock factor of watching Spencer’s innocence melt away when you explained such crude things so abruptly - that was also part of your motivation. You knew that as much as he was a genius - had stunning intellect on paper, could recite statistics by heart - he didn’t have the kind of social skills or social knowledge that you did. 
“Do you really wanna know what I was talking about before?” You posed, giving him one last chance to preserve that innocence. 
He nodded, ever thirsty to chase an unanswered question. 
You held back a giggle. 
“A fleshlight is also called a pocket pussy.” You told him, launching into a quick, efficient explanation for his confusion so that he could have his question answered. 
“What?” He gaped, having the most beautifully dumb look on his face as the words left his lips. 
“It’s a sex toy.” You told him. 
His face scrunched even further into bewilderment, and you knew that now he was simply jumping through mental hoops, wondering what kind of sex toy a ‘pocket pussy’ could be. So you decided to make your explanation a bit more detailed. 
“It’s a…” You thought for a moment about how to explain it to someone who had never seen one before. “A kind of tube? Usually in the shape of a large flashlight, and on the inside there’s a silicone vagina, or sometimes a silicone anus, and it’s meant to simulate intercourse the same way that a dildo can simulate intercourse by going into a vagina. Or an anus, of course. You do know what a dildo is, right?” 
Reid quickly nodded his head - that bright flush even fresher on his cheeks as a deep thoughtfulness came over his features. 
“Yeah. Y-yeah. I got it.” He quickly stuttered out, assuring you that he now fully understood. 
“Cool.” You said, walking by him and thumping him on the shoulder for reassurance that the conversation was over. 
“Wait, is that the hand that you - inside? You haven’t washed your hands yet!” 
“I wore a glove, Reid!” 
… 
Turns out the horseshoe had a unique stamping on it from a closed down metalworks business. Four thousand square feet of abandoned building, perfect for the UnSub to make his ‘art’ inside. He had intended for the clue to lead the team to a barn where he had staged the next corpse, but you broke into the building and caught him in the act of drugging another woman before she was killed. 
The state of the building was horrifying - the limbs of the other victims strewn about, a lot of them put on display like trophies. 
Overall, you would call it a good day. There was a life saved. 
On the way back home, Spencer could barely make eye contact with you while on the jet. His eyes constantly flickered away from you with purpose whenever you looked near him. The two of you played Gin Rummy and you had to remind Reid to take his turn several times. There was even one point where he won a hand and you had to tell him so - he claimed that he had ‘forgotten the rules’. As if. 
You couldn’t figure out why he was acting so strangely. You wanted to chalk it up to the harshness of the case, the graphic nature of things - but you both had seen much worse. The ‘fleshlight’ conversation was so minimal on your radar, such a shameless moment for you. It was something you considered so entirely regular as an interaction on the rollercoaster of all things bizarre that was Spencer Reid. You were barely even thinking about it. 
You had no clue that it was racing through his mind at top speed as he remembered your words from earlier that day. 
… 
Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about it. 
He wasn’t sure why it had never occurred to him before. Sure, there were plenty of things he didn’t know, like you said. Plenty of things he was curious about, but far too shy to look up. Plenty of things he didn’t want to get caught looking up out of fear of embarrassment. 
He knew some things about sex toys. He knew far more about the history of sex toys than he did about modern sex toys. He could tell you that Cleopatra had owned one of the first rudimentary vibrators, made from the shell of a hollowed out gourd filled with bees. But if he walked into a sex shop today, he probably wouldn’t know what half the stuff was or what it was used for. 
When he thought about what you had told him, it only made sense. 
Of course there would be some kind of solution, some kind of ‘opposite’ to a silicone penis used to simulate sex inside a vagina. 
(“Or an anus, of course.”) 
Those words flying out of your mouth so casually had sent Reid’s imagination flying into an array of interesting directions. Of course he knew that plenty of men liked to partake in anal stimulation for pleasure. There were no particular statistics about this that came to mind, because it was never something he had directly read a study about. 
It was something Reid had always been curious about, because he did know that prostate stimulation was often considered to be the height of pleasure for men. 
(Spencer’s attraction to men was a can of worms that he would leave untouched and attend to another day. The innate warmth that he felt when he looked at Morgan was something he always felt the need to suppress. Even though it was quite literally impossible for him, he was still trying to forget the involuntary reaction he had when he looked at a gay porn magazine that his classmates had left in his locker as a joke when he was thirteen.) 
For the most part, his mind was hyper-fixating on your explanation of that object he had never even heard of before. The antithesis of a dildo, the supposed inversion of the male genitalia in a more portable form. 
A pocket pussy. 
You talked about it so casually, explained it so perfectly. You spoke about it in such a way that it left Reid’s mind whirring, wondering what such an object could specifically look like. Of course, he knew what a vagina looked like. In theory. 
Yes, he was a virgin. 
He actually wondered if he fit that definition exactly. He knew that most people considered virginity to be a milestone passed once they had participated in full blown intercourse for the first time. But he wondered if what he had done would ‘count’ as losing his virginity. It was something he would have asked you, would have wanted your social colloquial opinion on - if he wasn’t so embarrassed about being a virgin in the first place. (Or maybe being a virgin, he still wasn’t too sure.) 
He had been touched by a woman before, but only once. 
After he and Lila Archer had climbed out of the pool, before the team had arrived, she had kissed him on the mouth again and continued to thank him for his ‘bravery’ and ongoing protection in a very interesting way. And before he could truly process it or stop her (due to the intense unprofessionalism) - his pants were down and her mouth was on him. Because of his inexperience, it had lasted a whopping three minutes. (According to Spencer’s impeccable memory and the fact that he had been glancing between the top of her head and a clock on the wall, worried they would get caught, he knew for a fact that it had been three minutes and fourteen seconds to be exact.) 
Which, at the time, was lucky. Because as she licked off her lips and looked up at him through her lashes, Morgan called out his name through the house, finally looking for them. He had rushed to straighten his clothes and look normal - but because Morgan caught them both looking incredibly guilty, he had hounded Reid for days about the ‘details’. Reid gave him none. 
But that had been his only experience with a woman sexually. His only experience with anybody, for that matter. So any of his knowledge about vaginas was based entirely on pictures; scientific diagrams, and renaissance art. He was never gutsy enough to buy porn for himself. 
He tried to imagine what a silicone vagina would look like - how one would fit molded into a plastic tube. He tried to imagine how it would feel to stick his penis into one. 
Of course, he had plenty of experience with masturbation. 
His instincts had taken over at the right age for that. Even though his brain was always advanced well beyond his years, puberty kicked in just the same. He had been a hormonal teenager just like everyone else. (Of course, he was the only one going to CalTech getting a PhD in chemistry, but he was right on track in terms of his physical development.) 
And naturally, his imagination often ran away with him whenever he had the time alone to masturbate now that he was an adult. 
One of the things he thought about most often when he masturbated was you. 
The fact that you were so self-assured, so confident, the fact that nothing could shake you. It always made Spencer imagine you pinning him down, taking control of him, kissing him hard. He had orgasmed in his hand a great many nights, imagining you on top of him - imagining what you might feel like around him, on top of him, riding him. 
He found it intensely difficult to pay attention to Gin Rummy when all of these thoughts were running through his mind. 
… 
You barely remembered the fleshlight conversation at all. Barely remembered it, that is, until you were on your way to work the next morning. 
There was a small fender bender between two cars on your normal route and the traffic build-up around it caused you to deviate. Because of that, you just happened to drive by your favorite sex shop. The sign caught your eye, and you figured: you were already late. There was a great coffee place across the street. You could grab yourself a latte if you parked. 
You were surprised that a sex shop would be open so early in the morning, but you were glad that you made the stop. Usually, you would have taken your time to browse. You liked to see what was new, especially in terms of costumes and lingerie. 
You didn’t have a long term partner to impress, but sometimes you did like to strut around the house in lingerie (in your fleeting free time away from the BAU) just to make yourself feel good. That, and it was always fun to see the look on a date’s face when you gave the sensual promise of ‘slipping into something more comfortable’ and then came back in a latex nurse’s outfit and six inch red heels. 
Unfortunately, today you were low on time and very set on what you wanted. 
You went straight to the wall of toys and zoned in on the selection of fleshlights. You picked out the most ‘basic’ one you could find. You didn’t want to assume Spencer’s preferences, but you picked one that resembled a pussy rather than an ass. 
It was on the expensive side, but you knew the look on Spencer’s face when you gave it to him would more than pay it off in your mind. That and imagining him using it, knowing that it would be far too tempting of a gift. He would never be brave enough to buy something like this for himself and once it was in his hands when he was alone, he would be far too curious not to use it - yeah, it was definitely worth it. 
You walked past a rack of lube on your way to the cash register and realized that it would be rude to give this kind of gift without a bottle of lube in accompaniment. So you bought a bottle of your favorite water based lubricant. An unscented one, knowing that Spencer was a no-frills kind of guy, even though you usually bought a strawberry scented one for yourself. 
You got the items put in a discreet, labelless black bag and then got yourself a latte. And you couldn’t help but to grab an almond croissant for Spencer because when you spotted it in the pantry case, you did think of him. 
Of course, when you walked into the office (the black bag safely in the backseat of your car) Hotch just happened to be walking by with a handful of files on the way to his office. 
“You’re late.” He commented, not looking up from the paper he was reading. 
“Traffic was hell.” You fired back. 
“Yeah, and I’m sure that latte just magically transported into your hand.” He said, his tone blank and unreadable as usual. “I want all your reports about the case on my desk by tonight.” 
Usually, there was a grace period of two or three days to get the reports about a case done. But clearly, Hotch didn’t like your tardiness. You considered it worth it. 
“Yes sir.” You mumbled under your breath. 
He didn’t say anything else after that, simply retreated off to his office. 
You figured he couldn’t be that mad. He knew the job could be an emotional strain, and it was okay to deviate from such a hard routine every now and then. Especially because now you were going to be spending the next five hours writing out all the gory details of how you had pulled a horseshoe out of a woman’s dead torso in order to catch a killer. 
You walked over to your desk, which was right in front of Reid’s, and placed down the paper bag with the croissant on top of one of his files. This easily distracted him from whatever he had been writing - most likely one of his reports about the case. 
“Almond croissant,” You said, placing down your coffee cup and placing your purse underneath your desk. “Your favorite, right?” 
“It is.” He grinned at you. “Thank you.” 
It was that sweet little smile, those big kind eyes staring up at you through the lenses of his glasses like you hung the stars in the sky - it was that bit of sweetness that got you through writing your reports. So yeah, it probably wasn’t just dark humor and nihilism that helped you keep your sanity. It had a lot to do with the pretty boy you got to sit across from every single day. 
You worked on your reports. And yeah, you took too many coffee breaks, including a long lunch break with Elle, Penelope, and JJ where they insisted on discussing your ‘crush’ on Spencer. 
You denied it. 
Elle profiled your lie (which you insisted was not a lie) and JJ laughed about it. Penelope started humming wedding music under her breath and you threatened to spit in her salad. 
By the time you actually got the reports done, it was late. Everyone else had gone home - except for Spencer, who was still sitting at his desk across from you with his lamp on and an air of quiet concentration. When you got finished with the last report, you slammed the file closed and let out a sigh, leaning back in your chair and running your hands harshly over your face. 
“Finally done?” Spencer’s delicate voice inquired, peeking up over the median between the desks to look at you. 
“Yes, finally.” You grinned back at him. “You done too?” 
You couldn’t help but to ask. Spencer was always incredibly quick with his reports, simply by the nature of the speed at which he could read and compose writing. You wondered what exactly he had been doing at his desk for the past few hours. Perhaps he had been looking through old case files, possibly unsolved ones, thinking up new leads while there was no pressure looming over his brilliant mind. 
“I finished up at three o’clock.” He said. 
You glanced at your watch - it was getting close to nine. That made you entirely curious about what he had been doing, sitting at his desk for that many hours. What had he felt the need to stay so late for? 
“So what has been keeping you busy this late into the night, Doctor?” You asked. 
“I was reading.” He told you honestly, motioning toward a thick novel that he had in his hands. 
“How many books do you have over there?” You chuckled. 
Again, you knew that because of the intense speed he was capable of reading at, it would take a lot of books to keep him busy. 
“Just one.” He answered, easily catching your eye and maintaining eye contact. 
Both of you knew what this meant. 
For a while, he had been rereading through old case files. But, not wanting to haunt himself with those gory details, he had chosen instead to simply sit at his desk and reread the same book over and over again because he had wanted to keep you company. 
What you didn’t know was that his mind had still been heavily plagued by thoughts of your sex toy discussion from the other day, so he wasn’t exactly reading at lightning speed as per usual. Instead - letting his imagination wander, thinking about where he would get a silicone vagina if he wanted to buy one and if a toy would feel as good as yours. What yours would feel like around his penis if he ever got the minuscule chance to actually experience it. 
“The Hollow Men by T. S. Eliot - but um, I was waiting for you, actually.” Spencer announced, making his intentions entirely clear, just in case you hadn’t already figured it out. “I was hoping maybe we could get dinner together? We haven’t - we haven’t hung out in a while.” 
He seemed nervous asking you this, even though you were always enthusiastic in welcoming his invitations to spend time together outside of work. 
Last month, he had brought you to a conservatory housing and actively breeding endangered species of butterflies in order to save the populations from extinction. It was a building full of plant life, an indoor jungle filled with the beautiful insects that took your breath away. Listening to him ramble on about the different species and their latin names, the patterns on their wings and their purpose of camouflage - it had been one of the most pleasant, most romantic non-dates of your life. 
You didn’t understand why others on the team acted like his presence, especially his ramblings, could be a bother. 
“Sounds good.” You told him with a smile. 
He smiled back at you fondly. 
“I have to drop these on Hotch’s desk and then we can go.” You explained as you stood up and began gathering your files. “But uh, I don’t really feel like going out? I’m way more in the mood for take-out and a comfy couch.” 
“There’s a good Chinese place a few minutes away from my apartment.” He told you. “If you consider my couch comfortable?” 
You resisted the urge to tell him that you loved his apartment because the smell of books penetrated every inch of it; the scent of yellowing, worn paper living there like the comfort of a library. But you held that back - choosing instead to say something else. 
“The comfiest,” You grinned at him as you walked by with the armful of files. 
… 
You weren’t entirely sure when you were going to give the ‘gifts’ to Spencer. 
A large part of you thought that it would be best to have an out, in case he got embarrassed, or hated it. Most likely, you would wait until after dinner and hand him the bag on your way out without telling him what it was. Which was why you shoved the black plastic bag holding the lube and the sex toy into your oversized purse while Spencer was distracted with carrying the takeout bag toward his apartment. 
One thing that had not surprised you about Spencer when you found it out: he didn’t have basic cable. Part of you was surprised that someone who was so pro-book and anti-technology even had a TV at all. But apparently he had some favorites that he couldn’t stand to miss out on, like Doctor Who and Star Wars. So he had a DVD player hooked up to a very small TV that was banished off to a corner of his living room. A device that was dwarfed by bookcases, which did make a lot of sense. 
He said that he spent so much time reading and away at work, traveling for cases that it just didn’t make sense to pay for cable. He said that he could get his mental enrichment from reading, and his nerdy pleasure from rewatching his old favorites, and apparently he got the news from listening to the radio. The radio. Sometimes you wondered if he was Benjamin Button - an old man who had somehow gotten into the body of a twenty five year old. It truly mystified you. 
Either way, it meant that you spent dinner with season three of Friends on as background noise. Friends being a box set of DVDs that you had gifted him because you considered it to be classic television that he needed to see. The first time he had asked Morgan to his face if a girl had ‘friendzoned’ him with full confidence in what the term meant, you knew that Spencer had been watching it in his free time. 
You easily fell into the comfort of your surroundings, enjoying the comforting canned laughter of the show, paired with the delightfully greasy food and Spencer’s ongoing commentary - both about the show, and about other, completely unrelated things. You were so relaxed that you had almost completely forgotten about the gift you had waiting in your bag for him. 
It was such a strange coincidence that he had been the one to bring it up. 
He offered to take your plate into the kitchen, leaving behind a waft of soy sauce as he went. You were wonderfully full and reached to the small side table where you were nursing a half empty (now warm) diet coke. You took a few sips from it, and heard Spencer’s footsteps shuffling back into the room. He hovered behind you as you watched Monica rush out of her bedroom with her phone pressed to her chest, concerned about calling Richard. 
You were so focused on the show that you almost didn’t hear Spencer’s shy, tentative voice when he spoke. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He said quietly. 
“Hmm?” You looked over your shoulder at him, wondering what he meant. 
He was rather nervously fidgeting with his hands, standing in the white glow of the TV in the dimly lit room - the only other source of light being a small lamp on the side table and dimness of the light above the stove shining in from the kitchen at his back. 
You grabbed up the remote and paused the show, silencing the characters and their temporary problems in order to address the stress that Spencer was very clearly feeling - his whole body tight, hunched over, his face quite tight with worry. 
“I’m sorry about the other day.” He repeated himself, slightly louder this time - perhaps not more confident, but simply not drowned out by any further noise. 
You didn’t want to butt in, and gave him the room to explain himself slowly. 
“I - I didn’t mean to put you in such an… uncomfortable position. If I don’t understand the things you say, I should just pull you aside and ask you privately what you meant.” He sighed. “I - I know that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes. It’s something I’m working on.” 
You became flooded with peril at this. Had he really thought that he had inconvenienced you? Put you in an ‘uncomfortable’ position? 
“Come sit down.” You told him, beginning to feel annoyed with craning your neck back to get a proper look at him. 
Like a dog being beckoned, he couldn’t help but to follow your order. 
He sunk down against the other arm of the three seater couch, leaving quite a bit of space between the two of you. He had his arms folded - closed off, clearly nervous. His eyes were focused on the leg of his pants, distinctly refusing to look at you. Perhaps he was afraid he would find disgust or disappointment among your features. You turned off the TV completely then and angled your body to face him before you continued speaking. 
“First of all, you don’t need to learn to keep your mouth shut.” You told him easily. “I’m not sure who, or what gave you that impression, but it’s not true. Whenever you open your mouth, something brilliant comes out, and we’re all better for it.” 
Reid’s lips flexed into a smile at the intense direct praise, and this made you happy. 
“Second, you didn’t make me uncomfortable the other day.” You told him honestly. “I meant what I said - despite you being a genius, there are still some things you need to learn. And I’m more than happy to teach you.” 
These words sent a shiver down Spencer’s spine. 
There were so many things that he would beg for you to teach him if given the chance. But he didn’t want to embarrass himself. And most importantly, he didn’t want to come off as creepy or desperate toward someone as perfect as you. 
When he dared to glance up at you, you were boldly staring him down. You wore a small smirk across your face. Heat began to stir in Spencer’s gut, and he couldn’t help but to wonder if you were thinking the exact same things that he was. 
You couldn’t be. You couldn’t possibly want someone like him. You couldn’t possibly want a nervous, inexperienced ‘virgin’ like him. 
Oh, but you did. 
You were thinking all of the same things that he was. You were imagining giving him the most intricate ‘hands on’ lessons for everything he had ever been curious about. Giving him the most close-up, detailed tour of the female anatomy he ever could have asked for. 
“Spencer,” You called out his name gently. 
This forced his attention up from fiddling with a loose thread on the edge of the couch cushion - clearly something out of nervousness - and got him to look at your face. You wondered how someone who was six feet tall could look so delicately small, purposefully slumped over in his seat like that. You wondered what his pretty features would look like warped by an orgasm. 
“What are you thinking about right now?” You asked him. You had to know if he was truly on the same filthy wavelength as you. 
He knew he had to make up a lie. Because he wouldn’t be brave enough to speak the words out loud. He was too shy to actually tell you that he was wondering what it would be like to bury his face between your breasts, that he wanted to drown there. 
“You… you did get me curious.” Spencer admitted quietly. “About the… the - uh-” 
He trailed off, clearly too nervous to say the word for himself now that he knew the filthy implications behind it. 
“About the fleshlight?” You finished the sentence for him, wanting to encourage him. 
You wanted to make him feel brave about the topic. You were too curious about where this interaction was heading - you couldn’t bear to have him get shy on you now. 
“Yeah.” He nodded, nervously clearing his throat. 
He went back to fidgeting with the edge of the couch cushion, once again purposefully looking anywhere but at your face. You stared him down with purpose, all too intrigued by whatever might come out of his mouth next. Especially with the tense, thoughtful expression dipped along his eyebrows - the same one he got when he was reading or staring at maps. 
“I was thinking - I was curious - curious about - about where someone might get one of those.” He finally announced. 
He put intense stress on the word ‘where’ - his voice low, almost a lulling whisper in the already quiet apartment. He was speaking as though he was asking you about something incredibly illicit. Like a college kid asking where he could buy weed or a lonely man in his thirties inquiring about a prostitute. Though sex toys were perfectly legal, you guessed that for someone like Spencer, this was just as trepidacious. 
You felt a sense of eager giddiness stir within you. You resisted the urge to bounce on the spot like an excitable, hyper kid on their birthday waiting to open their present. Even though he wasn’t looking at your face, you forced yourself to hold back a grin. 
You didn’t want to ruin the surprise, after all. It was just too perfect. 
“Well… lucky for you, Doctor Reid,” You told him, easily capturing his attention with the use of his proper title and the fact that you shifted slightly in your seat, reaching down by your feet to grab your bag. “I happen to have a spare one right here.” 
Spencer watched you cautiously, his neck still sloped with anxious shyness. He almost had to believe that this was a prank, and you would pull a tape recorder out of your bag and laugh because you had captured his perversion for everyone to know about. 
But of course - you weren’t that cruel. You were honest, and you were definitely not half as shy as he was. In fact, he would go so far as to say that you didn’t have a bashful bone in your body. 
So of course, it made sense that it was not a big deal for you to walk into one of those stores and simply purchase that kind of toy. 
Spencer watched eagerly as you pulled out a cardboard box. He heard the rustle of plastic inside your bag and guessed that it was a shopping bag. But he couldn’t be too focused on that once your arm extended out to him, showing him what the rectangular box was. 
Spencer had never seen a sex toy in person before, but he quickly realized that they were packaged similarly to any other product. A clean, white background with a picture of the product on it, several claims and promises (‘new and improved design!’) (‘easy to clean!’) (‘soft and durable!’) - and a picture of someone smiling on the front, unconsciously promising a good user experience. In this case, it was a stereotypically beautiful woman in lingerie holding the… item, as though it were comparable… to her… to her parts. 
“Open it.” You encouraged him, wagging the box in his direction. “Unless you don’t want it. I could return it.” 
It was then that Spencer realized he had been sitting with his hands numbly in his lap for several silent moments, staring at the box in your extended hand. 
“Oh!” He said quietly. “No! I mean - yes. I - um.” Rather than trying to articulate it, he reached out and grabbed the item, finding it surprisingly heavy. It easily compared to the weight of a good book in his hands. “Thank you.” 
You would be lying if you said that watching him inspect the sex toy as though it were an object from an alien planet wasn’t the hottest thing you had seen in your entire life. Doctor Reid approached this the same way that he approached everything else in life: with intense scrutiny. Clearly his analytical mind was working hard as he carefully peeled back the cardboard flap of the box and slid out his prize. 
You had to wonder if that mind of his ever shut off. 
You wondered if you could make him dumb and cum drunk, make his head completely empty. You wondered what he would look like mindlessly chasing an orgasm, begging for release with absolutely no statistics or scientific papers running around inside that big brain of his. You wanted to see him completely worn down, just his base instincts at play. You wanted to see him with just the need to fuck and cum and have his release pounding between his ears as he whined desperately for more. 
There was a sharp pain between your legs, intense arousal at the thought of it. 
That arousal only increased when Spencer dropped the box in his lap and then - like man walking on the moon for the first time - he held the toy delicately in one hand and popped the cap off with the other. Clearly, it was a big discovery for him. Watching his eyes widen with shock did bring you an intense joy. It also immediately made you wonder if seeing the silicone pussy was his first time seeing a pussy so up close and personal at all. That thought only made your own cunt throb with need. 
What he did next nearly sent you into orbit. 
He gently placed the cap down on his lap, and without looking at you, his thoughtful eyes still entirely focused on the fake pussy - he reached toward it and oh-so-gently stroked his fingers across it. From your perspective, with the angle he was holding it at, you had a perfect view of his gorgeous hand delicately exploring the toy. Your cunt fluttered, clenching around nothing, and you knew that at this point you were definitely sitting in soaked underwear. If you didn’t know Spencer any better, you would have guessed that he was doing this on purpose, to tease you. 
But that’s what made it so perfect - he was just naive, just exploring these things for the first time. 
When he dipped two of his fingertips into the opening of the toy, you had to consciously hold back a moan. It was almost too hot watching his strong, thick fingers get swallowed up by the soft entrance of the toy. Of course, imagining how those fingers would feel dipping into your pussy with such tender grace. 
“Wow.” Spencer said quietly, almost a gasp under his breath as he pulled his fingers back, in pure awe at this new discovery. “I didn’t expect it to be so soft.”
“It’ll feel even better when it’s wet.” 
The words came so naturally from your lips, you couldn’t have stopped them if you tried. 
Spencer looked up at you with a distinct pinkness spreading over his cheeks, clearly imagining that tight, soft wetness wrapped around his cock. 
You dared to take a glance downward and surely enough - beside where the empty box was sitting in his lap, a bulge was forming in his slacks, pressing harshly against the zipper. You deeply resisted the urge to reach over and grope that bulge, not wanting to scare him by coming on too strong. Instead, you put that grabby hand back into your purse to get the other thing you had to give to him. 
“Another lesson for the genius,” You announced, extending out the bottle of lube for him to see it. This time he was quicker to grab it, bringing it up to his face to inspect it with thoughtful eyes. “Water based lubricant is best. It’s water soluble, so it’s easy to clean up. And unlike other kinds, it won’t wear down the silicone of the toy over time or wear through the latex of condoms.” 
You bringing up condoms caused a jolt in Spencer’s chest. Were you just giving him some friendly advice about safe sex or - or did you actually intend to have intercourse with him? Would there be a need for condoms between the two of you in the future? 
The words gave him a temporary bold streak (that and the sexual adrenaline pumping through his system) and he decided to voice his thoughts before he became too shy. 
“Can I ask you something?” He asked quietly, his voice taking on that sweet, mousy quality that it usually did whenever he got nervous. 
“Of course.” You nodded. 
You thought that he might have more questions about the lube or the toy. But what he said next - combined with the fact that he looked at you shyly through his lashes like a doll, like he knew exactly what he was doing - absolutely knocked the wind out of you. 
“You… You said that you like teaching me things. So - do you think-?” 
He paused for a moment, clearing his throat. 
“Could - could you give me a demonstration?” He asked, his voice still shy and sweet. 
Your lips gaped in shock - at first you thought you had misheard him. And when the words fully penetrated your ears, you thought that you had somehow misunderstood him. He couldn’t possibly mean-? He wanted you to use the toy on him? 
You were shocked that Spencer Reid was openly asking for something like that. 
Seeing the shock and slight confusion across your features, Spencer’s mouth raced past his better judgment. His lips plowed over that thing in the back of his brain nagging at him to shut up - and he kept on going. 
“It only seems logical that, when tackling something new, especially something this… skill-based, I would need to be shown what to do.” He explained, his mouth running off in that way it always did when he sounded far too much like he knew what he was talking about. “It seems advisable to be shown by someone with more experience. Experience that I don’t have. I need you to show me. Please.” 
The last word came out as a breathy plea from him. You could have easily gotten stuck on the fact that he had basically just admitted to you that he was a virgin. But instead, him simply saying that word: ‘please’, begging to you like your attention was the most precious thing in the world; it kickstarted something in your brain and switched on the dominant persona that you had always wanted to use with him. 
The air shifted in the room then, and you both knew it. It was like a fire crackling around you. Spencer didn’t know what to do with it, but luckily, you did. He waited with anxious breath for your guidance, your instruction. 
“You need me to show you?” You repeated his words, using the buttery sweet voice that you usually did when you had someone so willing and pliant for you. 
Instinctively, you reached over to him and gently cupped his cheek. He easily leaned into the touch, shuddering with delight and letting out a small sigh as you made contact with his skin for the first time. It was the first time you had really touched him, aside from casual hugs of comfort after stressful situations that the job naturally gave the two of you. But this was entirely different. 
He hummed in affirmation to answer your question, his eyes growing large with lust, pupils blown out as he melted into you. 
“What do you want me to show you, pretty boy?” You asked, running your thumb along his bottom lip, admiring how absolutely pink his mouth was. 
You hoped that you could prompt a genuine answer out of him - get him to say the words. You had never heard Spencer talk about anything crude before, and you wondered if he was even capable of talking dirty. You hoped that if he wouldn’t say the words on his own, you could coach him into doing it. You could only imagine the satisfaction of getting that smart mouth to utter such filthy things. 
“I want…” Spencer swallowed harshly, clearly having a difficult time with his mouth drying out now that you had a hand on him, even though the touch was fairly ‘innocent’. “I want you to show me… everything.”
The intense emphasis that he put on the word sent sparks flying inside of you. 
It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a ‘demonstration’ of the toy. It sounded like he wanted a lot more than just a one night stand to get off. 
Intense want flared up of you. 
The temptation to own him, to make him yours… the temptation to take all of his first and have him tied to you like a lost puppy because of it - it was an intense one. But you wouldn’t hurt him, no. You would do it right. You would own him in that way because he wanted it just as badly as you did. 
“Spencer,” 
You said his name suddenly, harconing for his attention with it. You stroked your thumb along his cheek before you pulled the touch away completely. His head bobbed forward slightly to chase your hand, but he let you go without protest. 
“If we’re going to do this, there has to be rules.” You told him firmly. “If I’m going to be your teacher, you have to listen to me. Teachers need rules, right?” 
Spencer nodded vigorously at this. 
“Of course. Yeah - yeah. You’re right.” He eagerly agreed. Then of course, he asked the obvious question. “What are the rules?” 
You beamed a smile at him, loving his enthusiasm. 
You knew that he would be a good boy. He was so eager to follow rules, to learn. Your body began tingling with delight at the thought of him looking up at you with hazy eyes, asking for his next command. 
You had to forcibly clear your head. Right now you had to be level headed in order to teach him the rules. 
“Okay the first rule - the most important one,” You prefaced, causing Spencer to straighten up slightly, showing his attentiveness, an eager student ready to learn. “Is that you need to pick a safeword. A word you can say during the scene so that I can know if you’re uncomfortable or if you need to stop.” 
“‘The scene’?” Spencer asked, repeating back the phrase to you. “Also - why can’t the safeword just be ‘stop’, or ‘no’? Wouldn’t you just stop things if I said ‘no’?” 
You decided to tackle his questions one at a time. 
“Calling it a ‘scene’ - it’s lingo.” You said. “You know that everything comes with its own set of linguistics.” You told him, playing into his pre-existing knowledge. He nodded at this. 
You then continued your explanation. 
“A ‘scene’ means… any type of sexual play. Some people call it ‘playtime’. It’s lingo that exists because for a lot of people, sex is much more than just intercourse. It can start with speech and behavior and any interactions that they have with their partner when they’re alone. Like foreplay. So a safeword needs to be included in those moments too, in case someone needs to call timeout.” 
Spencer nodded at this. It made him wish that he had developed a safeword with Lila Archer. Not because he hadn’t enjoyed the oral sex - but because to this day, he still shuddered at the possibility of being embarrassed by someone walking in on them, or the consequences if someone found out about the improprieties of it all. 
“As far as the safeword being ‘no’, or ‘stop’...” You took the time to find the right words to explain it. 
Spencer waited patiently, feeling curious about this. 
“I will always look out for your safety, and if you seem uncomfortable, I’ll ask you if you’re okay.” You assured him, giving him a gentle pat on the knee. Spencer smiled at this, and you enjoyed that you had comforted him with these words. 
“But sometimes ‘no’ doesn’t work.” You went on to explain. “Like… if I asked you something like ‘do you want me to stop?’ and you say ‘no’, that is a positive affirmation to continue what I’m doing, but it uses a negative word. Same thing with the word ‘stop’. If you told me ‘don’t stop’ - but your voice was too quiet on the first word or I didn’t properly hear you, then I may stop when you wouldn’t want me to.” 
For the first time, Spencer felt as though he was the one being schooled. 
You telling him ‘I may stop when you don’t want me to’ had him drawing an image up in his head of you vigorously riding him, taunting him while you were so well composed and he was reduced to a stuttering mess because of your wetness clenching around him. With you mistaking his words for a signal of distress, and taking away your beautiful body before he got to orgasm. It would be tragic. 
He easily understood what you meant. 
“The point of a safeword,” You continued on. “Is that it stands out. It’s a word you would never otherwise say during playtime. A word that would never come up during sex - except for you signaling your discomfort. So when I hear that word, I know that we need to shift gears into aftercare.” 
“What’s aftercare?” Spencer asked, eager to learn another new term as it was introduced to him. 
Again, you were puzzled about how to explain it, how to put it into words for someone who had no clue what the word meant. 
These were things you had known about for years, words that were a natural part of your vocabulary now. Things you had been doing before you even knew the terms for it. It was strange having to explain it to someone so fresh. 
“It - um…” You thought for a moment. “Aftercare is what happens after a scene. It’s the period of time when you mentally and physically wind down, in order to take care of your body and mind. Because of the physical exertion and the endorphins, sex can be exhausting and mentally tedious, as much as it is fun. So - aftercare helps transition the body and mind back into non-sexual activities. Different people need different kinds of aftercare, but usually it’s things like: drinking water, eating a snack, cuddling, words of affirmation.” 
“That sounds nice.” Spencer said quietly. “Would you do that for me even - even though I’m not your boyfriend?” 
You held back what you instinctively wanted to say - that you wanted him to be your boyfriend. That you wanted to own him like a cute little pet and didn’t want any other woman (or man) to touch him. 
Instead, you went with the diplomatic answer. 
“Of course I would.” You told him. “Aftercare is part of being a good - a good teacher.” 
You quickly cut yourself off from using the word ‘dominant’ and replaced it with ‘teacher’ instead. You didn’t want to scare him with the idea that you would be intimidating, mean, cold - traditional ideas behind the term ‘dominant’. 
“I want to be good to you, Spence.” You quickly added on. 
His cock throbbed inside of his pants at this. 
“So, you have to pick your safeword.” You told him. “Something that stands out, something that will easily come to your mind.” 
Spencer took a moment, and you saw him take a sideways glance at the coffee table. The chess set that was there caught his eye, and that didn’t surprise you. 
“Bishop?” Spencer posed, looking at you with eyes that said he was absolutely searching for your approval. “Is that good?” 
“Yes, baby, that’s perfect.” You told him. 
If you did your job well enough as a dominant, then he wouldn’t need to use the word. 
You would be able to tell just by his body language and him voicing his enjoyment how far you should take things. And when he was comfortable enough, you would discuss other sexual acts, and what else you should try. Though, for tonight, you had a feeling you should take control without telling him too much of what you wanted to do. You didn’t need him getting shy on you just because of some dirty talk. 
“You said that was only the first rule,” Spencer mentioned, remembering what you had said. “What are the other rules?” 
“Well, the second rule is: you listen to me. You listen to everything I say. You do everything I say. You don’t question me.” You told him firmly. “Because I’m the teacher, I’m in charge.” 
Spencer wanted to question you then. He wanted to point out that this sounded like multiple rules, but the way you said ‘I’m in charge’ caused something inside of him to quake, and he easily fell under your authority. 
He nodded. 
“The next rule is: you speak when spoken to, Spencer.” You told him, your tongue sharp on the words. 
You were heavily enjoying ordering him around now. 
These were two roles that the two of you fell so naturally into: he was soft and submissive under your dominant energy, and he only wanted more as your ego thrived off his eager submission. It was the start of a beautiful relationship forming. 
“Yes.” He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” The title came flying out of his mouth before he could stop it, and then he instantly wanted to backpedal. “I’m sorry.” 
“No, I like that.” You told him with a grin. “Though, if you want to give me a title, call me Miss.” 
You held back from telling him the true title you desired. Again, not wanting to scare him away. Perhaps it was something you could ween him towards on another day. 
“Yes, Miss.” He corrected, nodding. “Uh - Miss? Is - is there anything else?” 
“Only two more things.” You told him. Of course, you didn’t want to overload him, but you wanted him to know your most important rules up front. He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to explain. “You can’t touch me without asking first. And of course, you can’t touch me unless I give you permission.” 
This news cast the saddest puppy look across his features. Clearly, he was deeply disappointed by the thought that he wouldn’t be able to grope and grab at your body freely. He was upset by the thought that you would deny him access to touching you. You could definitely use that if he ever misbehaved. 
“And the last thing is: you can’t cum without my permission.” You told him, almost as if it were an afterthought. With any of your other partners, it would have been. Because it would have been a basic ground rule. 
“Come where?” Spencer asked, his brows knit together in the most adorably confused manner you had seen yet. 
Of course, he was confused. He had never before heard someone use the term ‘cum’ to refer to an orgasm. He was used to hearing that word - ‘come’ - paired with something else like ‘come here’. So he wondered what the hell you possibly meant by it. 
You found yourself grinning like the cat who ate the canary as you realized that you would also have to explain this piece of slang to him. 
“No, Spence, not C-O-M-E, like the verb. It’s C-U-M. It’s slang used interchangeably with the word ‘orgasm’.” You explained to him. “Sometimes it can be a verb. Like the act of cumming, it means orgasming. Or sometimes it’s a noun. Sometimes people use the word ‘cum’ instead of saying semen. ‘Cum’ is the fluid. As in: ‘I want your cum inside of me’.” 
You intentionally teased him with this example, saying it as casually as a straight forward grammar lesson, looking him in the eyes the entire time. His eyes lit up at your words - obviously, he had no clue that such a simple sentence could turn him on so much. But the words immediately painted a picture in his mind of that white, sticky fluid dripping down your inner thighs, put there by him. It was so perfect that it almost made him dizzy. 
When Spencer didn’t say anything, you continued with your ‘lesson’. 
“When I said that you can’t cum without my permission, I meant that you can’t have an orgasm unless I say so.” You told him with finality.  
He looked struck with worry at this. Partially at the idea that he wouldn’t get to have an orgasm if you didn’t give him permission, and partially at the thought that if he accidentally orgasmed without your permission, you would be angry with him and cut off all further sexual contact. 
“What’s wrong, Spence?” You had to ask. 
“How - how does that work?” He asked, all too curious at how he could stop himself from orgasming or how he could get your permission first. 
“Well, you know what it feels like when you’re about to have an orgasm, right?” You asked, really hoping that he at least masturbated regularly. You didn’t think you could have the burden of giving him his first ever orgasm. He nodded and this and you felt a small breath of relief leave you. “So, when you feel like that, you simply ask me if you’re allowed to cum. Ask me if you can cum.” 
“Will you let me?” Spencer asked nervously, sheepishly. You distinctly noticed how he avoided the word. He didn’t say the sentence as you had. You yearned to hear him say ‘will you let me cum?’ - but you knew you had to give him time to shake off his shyness. 
“If you’ve been a good boy, then yes.” You told him. “Good boys follow the rules. But I don’t think you’ll have any problems, Spence.” 
You saw him relax at this - any tension leaving his muscles. 
You conveniently left out the part where you might edge him, might not let him cum just for your own amusement. 
“I think that’s all for now.” You told him. “Now that we have the rules set - do you wanna play with your new toy?” 
Spencer’s face absolutely lit up at this. 
“Yes, please.” He said, his voice somehow still shy and quiet. “Yes, please, Miss.” 
Your stomach jolted with intense pleasure at his declaration. 
Spencer thought that you would simply grab the toy from him and unzip his pants. He was surprised when you stood up, and began looking around the room as though you were looking for something. But in alignment with the rules, he didn’t question you. He didn’t ask what you were looking for or why. Instead, he just sat there quietly and waited for your instructions. 
When you seemed satisfied with your idea, you then began moving around. You leaned down and pushed away the coffee table, pushing it as far back as it would go. This made a fair amount of space in front of the couch. And before Spencer could become truly curious about it, you turned to the side of the room - toward a space where he had a small table. 
It was meant to be a sort of ‘dining’ table, suitable for one or two people in an apartment like his. It had two chairs, but one of the chairs was piled up with books and the surface of the table had some files on it that he had taken home from work. He did sit on the other chair to eat occasionally - during the rare times he actually sat down and had a meal at home. 
You grabbed the empty chair - which was a wooden chair with a round back and decorative wooden bars coming off the seat, holding the back of it up. (Something Spencer had picked up at a yard sale.) And then you put the chair in the middle of the room, right in the space you had cleared from moving the coffee table. The chair was facing the couch - and it became apparent to Spencer then that this was a stage. 
You were either going to sit in that chair and watch him, or he was going to be the thing on display in the middle of the room. The idea of that happening - the idea of you watching him like a show, like he was something to admire - that put a twist in his stomach. It was something almost too daunting for him to conquer. He found himself swelling with shyness again, wanting to back down from this. 
He feared that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. He feared that he was gangly, thin, undesirable. He feared that his experience would steer him wrong somewhere and he would mess up terribly and turn you off. 
He thought that he wouldn’t be able to impress you. 
But he wanted to impress you so badly. He wanted you. He wanted your touch. He wanted to be a good boy for you, like you had said. 
“Give me your belt.” You said, turning to him expectantly and holding out your hand. 
“My - my belt?” He asked. 
Then, he immediately scolded himself inside as he realized that was questioning you, and against the rules. 
You let that one slide. He was still getting used to this, and it must have been an odd, confusing instruction to hear right off the bat. 
“Yes, your belt. I need it.” You said, still holding out your hand. “Come on.” 
Spencer stood up then, his hands and legs shaking slightly from nerves and the overwhelming lust. Although he was taller than you, he felt so entirely small as you stared at him, waiting patiently while his shaking hands struggled to undo the buckle and then slip the leather out of the belt loops.
When he finally handed it over to you, you took the belt in hand and inspected it for a moment before you quietly said ‘perfect’ under your breath. You then looked between Spencer and the chair - he was still wearing his work attire. A cardigan, a button up shirt and tie, his usual slacks, and his adorable dorky glasses. He had taken off his shoes at the door, revealing his oddly sweet mismatched socks. 
“Spencer,” 
You called his name, capturing his attention from where he was swaying on the spot, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on his cardigan to avoid looking at you. As soon as he looked up at you with those big, wet eyes, you felt confident in giving him your next instruction. 
“I want you to take off all your clothes. Except for your glasses and your socks.” You told him, giving him his first proper orders. 
He held his voice in his throat when he felt the need to question you about it, to ask you why. 
You wanted him to keep the glasses on because they brought an entirely dorky charm to him - you wanted to see if they would fog up when he became heated with lust. The socks? You thought they were cute, but it was mostly a test to see how closely he would follow the instructions. To test how well he would listen. 
He did as he was told. He stripped off his sweater, and then his tie, and then his watch, leaving his wrists nice and bare for you. His fingers began to shake slightly as he descended on the buttons of his shirt - clearly, he was feeling nervous once again, so you decided to give him some encouragement. 
“You’re being such a good boy, Spence.” You told him. “So good for me.” 
He let out a quiet breath at the praise - a precursor to a moan. It was something that compelled him to strip faster, and gave him a small boost of courage when reaching for the zipper of his pants. After he unzipped them - his erection clearly fighting to be freed of the fabric - your mouth began watering at the sight as he reached for the waistband of his pants and his underwear all at once and slid them down. 
A snake of surprising length popped out of his pants. His dick began bobbing around carelessly, smearing shiny precum all over his skin as he unhooked himself from the legs of his pants and put them aside. 
You had to marvel at it. 
You had never really thought about what Spencer might look like naked before. You had never allowed your mind to venture there. But now that you were seeing his cock: nine inches long, skinny and lean like he was, pale with a bright pink tip, sprouting from a thick thatch of dark pubic hair - it just made sense. He was tall and gangly, and so was his cock. It would be an impressive sword to impale yourself upon - but that would be for another day. 
Spencer caught you staring, of course. 
He had the urge to cover himself with his hands, and found himself clenching his fists by his sides because he figured that you wouldn’t like him trying to hide from you. 
He wondered if it looked weird. He wondered if you didn’t like it. He wondered-
“You’re beautiful, Spencer.” You said, your voice so drenched in utter sincerity that you almost broke into a gasp trying to get the words out. “So fucking beautiful.” 
Again, he wanted to question you - but didn’t. He wanted to be a good boy. He would follow the rules. 
“Th-thank you, Miss.” He muttered out quietly, almost unable to accept the compliment. 
“Come here, sit down.” You told him, motioning toward the chair. 
He nodded, his legs feeling rather numb as he moved to follow your instructions. When his ass made contact with the wooden surface of the chair, he let out a gasp at how cool it was compared to his heated skin. You quietly giggled at this, and then grabbed the belt from where you had put it down. He grew tense and curious once again when you walked behind him. 
You grabbed one of his wrists and began to guide it behind him, but he was so tense that you knew it would be uncomfortable for him. You eased your touch with a flat palm up his forearm and bicep, across his shoulder until you could press the weight of your thumb into the base of his neck. He moaned lightly at this, melting into the touch. 
“Relax, baby.” You urged. Spencer relaxed even further at the nickname, absolutely blooming with affection inside because of it. “I’m not gonna do anything to hurt you. I just want to make you feel good.” 
To drive home this point, you leaned in and planted a simple kiss on the back of his head, and then one on the side of his neck. Spencer let out a fluttering moan at this. He wanted more of those kisses, but he couldn’t work up the nerve to ask for it. 
He could find no faults with what you had said, so he did his best to do as you instructed. He relaxed, leaning back fully against the chair - which was slightly uncomfortable while he was completely naked and throbbing hard, waiting for you to touch him more. But he trusted you. 
You grabbed one of his wrists, and then the other, and guided them behind his back. 
It was much easier now that his muscles were softer, more pliant to you. 
You knelt down and used the belt to tie them simply. You looped the belt through the wooden slats so his hands would be held to the chair, and then placed both of his wrists into the loop. You didn’t want it to be so tight that the material would cut into his wrists painfully or cut off circulation, you just wanted to restrict his movement. 
Which would absolutely be the case when his arms were bound behind him, awkwardly tied to the back of the chair. You hooked the buckle into the smallest notch, giving him a bit of room to move, a bit of a gap to put your finger between the belt and his skin. However, it put his shoulders at an awkward angle so he would need your help getting out of it. 
“Is that okay?” You asked. “Not too tight? Be honest.” 
Spencer thought that he should feel slightly afraid or too vulnerable - being completely naked and tied to a chair like this. But with you, he felt safe. 
“It’s good.” He told you honestly. “Not too tight.” He assured you, moving to show off that wiggle room, demonstrating that the material wasn’t cutting into his wrists. 
“Good,” You sighed quietly, standing up once again. 
You walked around him like a predator circling their prey, making graceful, careful moments as you took in the sight of him. 
He was absolutely, beautifully sinful in this state. 
Stripped entirely naked, except for those glasses and those adorable, mismatched socks, sitting in the chair with his hands bound behind his back. All while he stared at you with his wide, expectant eyes, waiting for whatever your next move would be. While his heavy, hard cock leaked freely against his stomach, smearing a trail of sticky precum across his skin. 
You reached forward and grabbed his chin, tilting his head up slightly to look at you. Having someone as tall as Spencer look up at you for a change was entirely powerful. You held him there while you asked him a very important question. 
“You gonna be good for me?” You asked him. 
Instinctively for him, there was only one answer. 
“Yes.” He whimpered out. “Yes, Miss. I want to be good for you.” 
The pure sincerity of his declaration caused another wave of wetness from your aching pussy. For now, you would ignore your own needs. You would take care of him, make sure that this was a pleasurable experience for him. 
“Good boy,” You praised him, giving him a light kiss on the forehead - to which he sighed quietly in delight. 
Then, you let go of his face completely and turned to grab the item that had started this whole thing. 
You were excited to finally use it on Spencer. 
Spencer watched with awe and intrigue as you grabbed the toy and then the lube - you peeled off the plastic shrink wrap on the lube bottle with your teeth, and then popped the cap. And you turned so Spencer could see as you poured a generous amount of lube into the opening of the toy. 
“Don’t be afraid to use too much lube,” You told him, being a proper teacher. “In my opinion, there’s no such thing as ‘too wet’. But ‘too dry’ can cause skin irritation from friction. Or tearing if you’re trying to insert something like fingers or a penetrative toy. Like a dildo. Adequate lubrication always reduces the risk of both those things,” 
Spencer wanted to ask if there were other kinds of penetrative toys aside from dildos, but he figured that would be a question for another time. 
“Yes, Miss.” He nodded in understanding, absorbing what you had told him. 
You looked between the toy and his cock, and realized you might as well slick him up beforehand. 
You took a step closer to him and put the thickness of the fleshlight between his thighs, propping it there while you quietly mumbled ‘hold this’ - which caused him to tense his thighs in order to keep it from falling. He became enraptured by the sight of the silicone pussy, lubed and wet as a real one would be. He was so distracted by the sight that he almost didn’t take in you pouring lube into your hand before you capped the bottle and put it aside. 
“This is probably gonna be cold,” You warned him quietly before you used your lubed hand to take a hold of his cock. 
It was. And he let out a harsh gasp - from the shock of the cold wetness, a sound that quickly turned into a strangled moan as you formed a loose grip around his cock and began spreading the wetness over him with purpose. The lube soon warmed between your palm and the throbbing skin of his cock, and he unconsciously bucked into your touch, almost knocking the fleshlight out from resting between his thighs. 
“Stay still.” You ordered sharply, shoving his hips back down with your free hand. 
The harshness behind your voice, and your thumb pressing into his hip bone sent him reeling. He was so pliant under your touch. Between your commanding authority and the slickness of your lubed hand moving in a slow rhythm in lazy pumps up and down his cock - he was already way too fucking close. 
You knew it. You could see the way his stomach muscles quaked, the tensing of his thighs. Those little lilting gasps like music to your ears. 
You wondered if he would spurt cum all over your hand before he warned you. (If he did, you would likely pump him through it just to see if he would get hard again.) 
“Miss-!” He hollered, choking on the word. 
You abruptly stopped then. You stiffened your grip around the base of his cock - which was now nicely lubed up, and throbbing even harder as you effectively used your fingers around his pelvis like a cockring, causing his orgasm to fade dully back into his muscles. He let out a wounded sound, a confused moan from deep in his chest, his stomach shaking even harder as if he was trying to force the orgasm out past your gatekeeping touch. It was almost cute. 
“Yes, Spencer?” You asked, looking at him dumbly as though you had no clue what he had been trying to say. 
“I - I was getting close.” He completed the thought breathlessly. “C-close to orgasm.” 
Damn. If he was this fucked out now, you couldn’t wait to see what he would be like when you were done with him. 
“Well, good boys only cum with permission, right?” You said, grinning at him fiendishly. 
“Yes, Miss.” He said quickly, his voice dull with disappointment, but agreeable. 
“Good boy.” You praised once again. You felt his cock twitch in your hand at the words. “Besides, you haven’t even gotten a chance to try out your new toy yet.” 
You then grabbed up the toy and turned it over, using your hand on the base of his cock to feed his length into the fake pussy. More cool lube came rushing down to meet him, and his lungs shook once again and his heated skin was shocked by the feeling. It was strange, but pleasurable as his cock was enveloped by the soft, wet walls of the toy. It was so, so very tight around his cock - and oddly cool, far wetter than he had expected thanks to the amount of lube you had used. 
Spencer reasoned that it might be like sticking his cock in a watermelon, if that watermelon were also made of rubber bands. 
You knelt down in front of Spencer, looking in awe between the spot where his cock disappeared into the fake leaking pussy to his face. Seeing his reaction to this was utterly beautiful - the way his jaw naturally fell open, his eyes half closed as the pleasure overtook him. 
“Oh!” Spencer let out a sudden, high startled sound as you shoved the toy down onto his cock fully. 
Your eyes once again flickered between his dick and his face, and you came to an utterly stunning realization. 
He didn’t fully fit inside of the toy. 
There was about an inch of his cock that was still sticking out of it at the base, and with the resistance your hand had brought up into, you knew that he was fully seated inside of it. Well - as fully seated as he could get, apparently. 
It was one of the hottest things you had ever seen, and it sent a dizzying wave of endorphins through you. The sight of his cock not fully fitting into the silicone pussy was a stunning visual that made you realize just how deep he would go inside of you. It made your throat dry for a moment, forced you to swallow hard before you could speak. 
“You’re right here, baby?” You asked, tapping a finger on the top of the toy, knowing that he would feel it as a vibration through the plastic. 
He let out a gasp and bucked his hips up slightly, something that made you smile. He was too hazy to answer you already, something that you forgave for now. He was just too beautiful to scold in these moments. 
“Fuck, you don’t even fit into this thing all the way, do you?” You gasped quietly, still absolutely marveling at the sight. 
“I don’t?” Spencer gaped, finally looking down to where the toy was swallowing his cock, seeing as your words had captured his attention. “Is - is that bad?” 
He was struck with worry. He thought that perhaps his cock wasn’t right - that he shouldn’t be doing this, that you wouldn’t like him. 
It was in that moment that you realized what a treasure you had come across. A beautiful, intelligent man with a huge cock who had no idea how to use it. Someone who needed to be taught from scratch. Someone who could be molded into anything you wanted him to be. (At least in the sexual sense.) That, and he seemed to be naturally submissive and derive pleasure from following your orders. 
You most definitely weren’t going to let him go anytime soon. 
“No, baby, that’s a good thing.” You assured him. “That’s a great thing.” 
Spencer smiled at this - an expression that slacked off into a moan when you made your next move. 
You gave the toy a slow half-pump before you seated it on his cock again, seemingly knocking the wind out of them. Then, you let go of the toy completely, letting him sit there with the fleshlight on his cock, bobbing in mid-air. It began to rise up slightly as the tightness of it hugged his cock, and unconsciously, he bucked up his hips, seeking more friction. But of course - the object was simply hanging there, seated on his cock, unmoving. It was an entirely fruitless venture. 
With his hands tied behind his back, he needed you. It was an adorable struggle to watch for a moment, especially when his face knit with frustration and his thighs began to quiver from the effort. 
“Please,” He begged. He was so pretty when he begged. “Help me.” 
“You want me to help you fuck your toy?” You teased, reaching for it again. 
“Please, Miss.” 
When he whined like that, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him. 
You took a good grip on the plastic then, and began a quick, smooth rhythm. You were eager to see his reaction to being fucked well, being fucked without hesitation. 
Spencer immediately shuddered and began letting out harsh whimpers. He bit his lip, but it didn’t keep the sounds from wailing out of his throat as you pumped the toy up and down on his cock. 
His chin was tilted down onto his chest, keeping his eyes locked on the place where the toy was devouring his hard cock. This caused his glasses to slip down his nose bridge slightly, something so entirely adorable to you in the moment. With his thighs tense and his stomach quaking, with that pool of artificial wetness leaking onto his pubes and slowly creeping down over his balls - he was so beautifully fucked out, the most perfect picture you had ever seen in your life. 
“Oh - oh, oh, oh god!” His mouth fell open once again and an array of sounds fell out, a beautiful little choir that you could have only dreamed of coming from him. “Oh, please!” 
You had to wonder if he was the type of person to swear when he came. Spencer was never the type of person to swear during other extreme situations. You had never seen him let out a single curse, not even with a gun to his head. 
You had to wonder if you could be the one to make him swear. 
“Please, Miss!” He squeaked out, sounding entirely wrecked and desperate. “Please, I’m close-!” 
You couldn’t resist the temptation of stilling the toy completely, abruptly cutting off his orgasm once again. Spencer let out a broken sound as his muscles jolted and the feeling ebbed through him - so close, but not quite there. It was like a terrible ache in his muscles. Like a deep, terrible thirst with nothing to drink. 
“Please,” He begged, his eyes shooting to lock onto you. “Please! Please, Miss.” 
“Please, what, baby?” You teased him, reaching up and gently carding your fingers through his hair, brushing some of it off his forehead. He had a light sheen of sweat going, his body clearly strained. It was delightful to witness. 
“Please,” He rasped out brokenly, so entirely desperate.  “I - I need it.” 
You bit your lip, holding back laughter at how perfect this was.
“Need what, baby?” You continued to tease him. “Come on, use your words.” 
He swallowed hard, and stared at you with glassy desperation in his eyes. Either he was shy, or had no clue what exactly it was you wanted him to say - so you decided to guide him along. 
“Say: I need to cum.” You told him, hoping that he was desperate enough now that he would simply repeat the filthy words. 
“I - I need to cum.” He repeated, only mild hesitation on his lips. 
“Say: I need you to make me cum.” You told him, pushing it a bit father. 
“I need you,” He said, pausing slightly to catch his breath. “Need you to make me cum.” 
“Good boy.” You praised him, running his hand through your hair once again. 
You stood up this time, and put one hand on the back of the chair behind his shoulder for leverage, leaning over him as you took the toy in hand and started moving it once again. This gave him a perfect view down your top, and his lustful gaze locked onto your swaying cleavage as you worked on jacking the fake pussy on his cock. It was a maddening suction that had him grunting lowly with every thrust, letting out whines, flexing his hips to fuck his cock up into the toy. 
“Does it feel good, pretty boy?” You asked, so heavily enjoying the sight of him so messy, so wrecked. 
“Yes!” He easily replied. 
“What are you thinking about? Hmm?” You couldn’t help but to ask. 
“I - hnng - I - I don’t know!” He gaped. 
Either he was lying, and simply didn’t want to tell you what was on his mind, or you had truly fucked his head empty. If it was the second, then you would heavily enjoy that fact. 
“You don’t know?” You asked, your voice absolutely teasing once again. “Well, that’s a first.” You chuckled. 
Spencer panted harshly, filling the space for a moment - along with the wet squelching of the toy moving up and down on his cock as your wrist continued to work. And then you became bold enough to ask the question that you truly wanted to. 
“You thinkin’ about my pussy?” You prodded. “You imagining that this toy is me? Wondering what’s gonna be like when I finally sit on your cock?” 
“Yes!” He was suddenly very eager to admit to this. Clearly it helped that he didn’t have to say the words for himself. “Yes! Yes, Miss! I want you. I want your-”
He cut himself off suddenly, moaning sharply as the tip of his cock brought up in the end of the fake pussy once again. It sent a jolt of pleasure-pain through him that had his skin boiling even hotter. You wondered if he would be bold enough to say the word ‘pussy’ or if you would have to heavily prompt him. 
But that thought left your head completely with his next words. 
“Oh! Oh, please! I’m so close!” 
Again, feeling the devil rise up inside of you, you stopped off his orgasm. 
This time, by pulling the toy away completely. You lifted the fleshlight off his cock, and watched with lustful joy as his cock slipped out of the opening with a wet pop. His thighs quaked with bitter agony and his long cock bobbed in the air, dripping thick waves of precum and lube as it separated from the toy. 
Everything was so wet. 
It was honestly a gorgeous sight, like a mini tidal wave dripping down onto the chair as the toy continued to leak the generous amount of lube you had put into it and his cock let out pathetic little spurts of precum. His pubes were glossy and matted together, his inner thighs were absolutely slick. He was glistening and whining harshly as the ruined orgasm crashed through his body, making his mind somehow even hazier and more desperate. 
“God!” He choked out. “Please!” 
He blinked harshly and a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes, making him look even more gorgeous somehow. 
“Please - please! I need - I need - oh god!” He began sobbing nonsensically, begging you for release as he was practically on the verge of madness. 
Your cunt throbbed at seeing him so wrecked - so utterly dependent on you. 
“Hey, hey, shh.” You reached your free hand out and thumbed under the edge of his glasses - the thick lenses only magnifying his glassy eyes and lustful, broken tears all the more. You soothed your touch across his burning cheek, reassuring him. “You’ve been such a good boy. I’m gonna let you cum now. Okay?” 
“Please!” He sobbed. 
Hearing his voice so broken and needy probably shouldn’t have turned you on so much, but you absolutely loved it. 
“Hey, shh,” You continued to rub his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “I just need one thing from you first.” 
“Anything!” He easily declared. 
“I need you to say: ‘may I cum, please?’” You told him. 
It was a start on the scale of filthy things that you wanted to hear from his mouth, but it would definitely be oh so satisfying. 
And then - as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you, he blinked his big eyes and looked up at you through tear wet lashes, giving you the most pouty, fuckable look as he leaned into your hand before he said the words. 
“May I cum, please?” He asked. And then, like the wet dream that he was, he seamlessly added on. “Please, Miss. I-I’ve been a good boy.” 
“Yes, you have been.” You told him. “I’ll make you cum now baby.” 
You used both hands to get his cock back inside of the toy - the sound of his cock fucking back into the fake pussy was so much wetter, the whine he let out made your knees weak. 
You doubled your efforts now, even going so far as to squeeze your grip on the outside of the plastic - which made the silicone grip his cock just that little bit tighter as you slammed it up and down on him. Your movements were hard and fast in the effort to make him cum for certain this time. 
“Oh, oh, oh, you - oh!” Spencer began babbling nonsense, his words barely broken up by harsh breaths being sucked into his lungs and whimpers emanating from his throat at the intense pleasure. “Oh, Miss - you - you’re so - ah!” 
“Where’s that big IQ now, boy genius?” You taunted him, keeping up the brutal pace. “Did I make you all stupid? Did I melt your big brain? Huh?” 
Spencer all but confirmed this as truth when he gurgled out nothingness as a response. 
You felt slightly bolder, and you became slightly harsher in your degrading words. You almost couldn’t help yourself. You loved tearing him apart so much, having him melt under your touch. You couldn’t help but to brag about the amazing job you had done. 
“Just a dumb little baby now, aren’t you?” You cooed, your voice entirely condescending. “Just a stupid little boy for me. So cumdrunk you can’t even think now, huh? There’s no boy genius here now. Just a dumb baby who needs to cum.” 
He only inflated your ego with his next words. 
“Yes!” He shouted out, entirely confirming what you had said - if he had even properly heard it through the blood pumping in his ears. To him, it might have just been the raw hum of your voice in the background, like an undertone with no true words to it. “Yes! Need - need t’ cum!” 
It was the most incoherent you had ever known Doctor Spencer Reid to be. 
You stared on eagerly as you watched his stomach tighten up, his lungs struggling for breath. 
“Y/N-!” He gasped out your name right before it hit him. 
And when it hit him, when he finally tumbled over the edge into the abyss - boy, it was a big one. 
It was an intense, full body orgasm. His legs shook, his body arched off the chair as though he were having a seizure, actually putting a strain on his bonded arms for the first time. He wildly bucked up into the toy as you continued to work it over his cock, his mouth dropping open wildly as a strain of high pitched, needy whimpers poured out from between his pretty pink lips. 
You were feeling selfish, and you wanted to see him cum at least a bit. 
So knowing that he was riding the wave, you ripped the toy off him, causing a wounded noise to come out of him as his spurting cock fell from it. But you didn’t leave him hanging. You immediately replaced the toy with your hand, and put a tight grip around him, pumping viciously over his throbbing cock, wanting to milk the rest of the orgasm out of him by hand. 
The sudden, shocking overstimulation sent his body into overdrive. 
His thighs shook so hard it could have been mistaken for electrocution, he gasped like a drowning man - he would have begged for mercy, but he couldn’t catch his breath. 
It was the best feeling he had ever experienced. It was pure euphoria, it was heaven on earth. It was an icy hot fire running through his veins that he didn’t even know was possible. 
He had never experienced an orgasm like this before. He knew the feeling of an orgasm to be more like a dull tickle in his groin. But now that he had done this - he didn’t think he could go back to anything else. 
Large spurts of cum blasted from his cock, so overpowering then that painted his stomach, his chest, and much to your delight - a few thick white spurts even dirtied his glasses when you angled his cock that way and kept viciously pumping him. 
His cock was so hot that it felt like it could have burned your hand, so needy and bloated with blood from how long you had edged him. Eventually, when the tip of his cock began to weep out a pathetic clear liquid, and he was on the verge of sobbing once more, you let him go from your grip, finally giving him a moment to breathe. 
You knew for certain that you would never be able to look at Spencer Reid again without seeing this imagery: him, completely fucked out, his face flushed red, mouth agape as he struggled for breath. His naked body, limp cock laying against his pelvis, painted in his own cum - including dirtying up his own glasses. 
You loved those glasses even more now. 
You couldn’t get him to swear - but fuck, that was really something. 
“Thank you.” He said meekly, still struggling for breath. “Th-thank you, Miss.” 
“Good boy.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead. “Such a good boy for me.” 
Now, it was time to take care of him and make sure that he had a good come down. 
You put the toy on the coffee table, placing it with the opening up so it wouldn’t leak everywhere - you wouldn’t clean it later. You also took off his glasses and placed them aside. Again - you would clean them later. 
You rushed to untie his hands, and eased his arms back around his body by gently rubbing his shoulders, hoping that the muscles wouldn’t be too sore or stiff from being in the same position for so long. 
“Such a good boy.” You assured him. “You did so well for me honey.” 
He hummed in acknowledgement. Clearly, he was absolutely exhausted from the ordeal. You hoped you could get his tall, gangly self to his bed on your own if he was so fucked out and weak. You walked back around to his front and laid your lips on his forehead again, murmuring more praises against his skin as you continued to rub his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair. You told him how good he was, how perfect he had been for you, how beautiful he was. 
After a few minutes, you felt his hands on your hips as he came out of the haze. He ran a thumb along the waistband of your pants, and his first words after that haze surprised you. 
“What - what about you?” He asked. 
Clearly, he meant that you should have an orgasm. Your cunt was aching dully between your thighs, and you were sure that you had soaked through your underwear. But that had been a lot for him, and you didn’t want to overwhelm him during the first time. 
“That’ll be a lesson for next time.” You told him quietly. He hummed quietly at this. He felt assured by you simply saying ‘next time’. “I have to clean up your toy now, so you can use it again later. Then I’ll clean you up and tuck you into bed, okay, baby?” 
He nodded. “Yes, please. Thank you.” 
You hesitantly broke away from him and grabbed the toy, and as you moved to leave the room, you paused at him mumbling out more words. 
“Can - can I have a glass of water, please?” He asked quietly. 
“Of course you can, baby.” 
You went into the kitchen and ran the toy under hot water - which you left going as you got a glass and filled it with cold water and ice from the dispenser. You were lucky to find a straw in the takeout bag from earlier - you put it in the glass and, while the hot water was still running in the sink, you rushed out to give Spencer a drink. 
You held the glass while he chugged gratefully from it, and after a few moments, you ensured that he could hold it with his sex tired hands by himself and then you left to finish cleaning up the toy. You set it on his empty dish rack to drip dry (which was quite a sight). And then you went to the bathroom, coming back with a warm cloth to wipe him down. He was only slightly unsteady on his legs as you guided him to bed - his muscles shaking and tired after the whole amazing ordeal. 
You found it endearing that his bed was unmade, surrounded by stacks of books that were lined up on the floor, rather than on any shelf. 
You pulled back the covers completely and helped him get in, and you were tucking him in nicely when he asked the sweet question. 
“Will you cuddle with me?” He asked quietly, looking up at you with those adorable, expectant eyes once again. “You know, for - for the aftercare?” 
You likely would have done it simply because he asked, even if you didn’t deem it ‘necessary’ for aftercare. But because he asked, it was part of good care. 
“Of course.” You answered. “I don’t have any pjs, so do you mind if I sleep in my underwear?” 
You had just tucked him into bed naked, and he was asking you to lay down beside him like that. But still, you wanted to ask how comfortable he would be if you were in a state of undress. 
His eyes shined with interest at the idea of seeing you at least partially undressed. 
“I don’t mind.” He told you. 
You nodded, and stepped back slightly to begin undressing. 
“So - did you have fun?” You asked. You suspected that he had entirely enjoyed himself, but you did want to hear him say it. 
Spencer grinned at this. “I think what we just did has changed my definition of ‘fun’ entirely.” He told you. “In a good way. So you know.” 
You preened at the idea that you had shifted Spencer’s worldview. Someone who most likely spent his free time reading research papers and playing through chess games entirely on his own and called it ‘fun’ would now be thinking about spending his free time playing with you instead. 
You stripped out of your pants, socks, and work blouse, which left you in your simple cotton underwear, a thin cotton camisole and your bra underneath. You decided to take off your bra underneath your shirt and just sleep in the cami and panties for comfort. You knew your underwear was stuck to your cunt from your previous burning arousal, and Spencer’s eyes did focus hard on that, and then focused even harder on the outline of your bare breasts as you ditched your bra off to the side. 
If he had the ability to get hard again after that spectacular orgasm, he probably would have been throbbing at the sight of you. 
You lifted up the covers and crawled into bed with him, cuddling into his side as he tentatively wrapped an arm around your waist. Your stomach fluttered when he kissed the top of your head before you felt his body relax into the mattress. 
“Thank you.” He said quietly, clearly exhausted. “I love it when you teach me things.”
...
The sequel to this fic has now been posted!
Keep Reading Here: Lesson Two - Magic Metacarpals
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meyerlansky · 24 days ago
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it's an ongoing thing that i probably won't dig too much into in anything textually, maybe in cruiseverse and even less likely but still maybe in summertime, but i do have thinkythoughts about how curt and bucky handle being queer in the framework of their catholicism
gale not on the discussion board here because, while he has angst about his queerness and especially what it means wrt his [and others'] masculinity, it is in no way religious and i maintain he is three bad days away from open atheism despite the HUGE social stigma against it at the time. abused kids tend not to be much for religion anyway.
like i acknowledge how i handle curt is slightly anachronistic [though i can cite contemporary examples, don't come at me about it] in that i don't think he's ashamed of ANYTHING. careful, yes, aware it could get him hurt, yes. but he doesn't have a lot of internalized homophobia weighing him down by '43, thanks to growing up in an active queer hub in the 20s/30s AND my decision to make his family, mostly his mom, similarly slightly-anachronistically accepting—see the stuff in this post about mothers in midcentury america accepting their queer sons and encouraging other mothers to do the same. and i think that "toughened by adversity" is particularly relevant in delphia's case because on top of raising a fairly large family through the great depression, she lost an infant daughter AND her husband when all her kids were under ten years old. she did suffer the public humiliations of the depression in sending her sons to live with relatives to ease the burden of SAID fairly large, half-orphaned family. so she doesn't CARE if curt's gay, all that matters to her is that curt is—and all her kids are—alive and healthy and happy. [plus, in "practical" terms, curt has a brother, so if he's not gonna have kids rusty's around to do it, which is a safety net the other guys do not have.]
bucky, on the other hand, is 93% shame at all times. about everything. he covers it with being loud and brash and seeming unrepentant but. c'mon. look at him. he's got catholic guilt dripping off him. he does NOT have supportive family to lean back on and to insulate him from the general antipathy towards queerness in midcentury america—he doesn't even get letters from his mom or sisters in the stalag in canon. plus he has the added angst of like... he's bi, not gay, so he likes women like he's supposed to, does that not make his attraction to men something he just has to Resist, because that's what the devil does, puts shit in your path that you have to avoid to stay good or whatever. if he was exclusively attracted to men—like curt—it might bother him less because he wouldn't have a "choice." so he's got both internalized queerphobia in general and SPECIFICALLY internalized biphobia working against him.
[the other issue i have with thinking about this stuff is i was not raised catholic or even a little bit religious at all, so i don't have a firsthand perspective on rationalizing queerness with faith. i am just WINGING IT HERE.]
but, anyway, i feel like bucky's isolation from semi-normalized queerness just compounds the issue for his whole adolescence/early adulthood, and he lumps being attracted to men in with his other rule-breaking behaviors. he drinks, he gambles, he lusts, it's all getting him sent to hell anyway, so he acts like it doesn't bother him. but i think it DOES bother him, deep down. and i also think that being faced with curt/people like curt, who DON'T see their queerness as an obstacle to keeping their faith, who don't experience the guilt and shame over that as a fundamental aspect of who they are, is... tough for him? and this is why i don't think it'll come up textually in anything except cruiseverse, if that: bucky is not a talk-shit-out kind of guy, and quite frankly neither is curt. but i can't imagine that bucky at some point isn't like "...don't you struggle with it?" and curt's like "nah, if He wanted me to be different i'd be different."
and bucky just kinda has to chew on that for a bit. and this is where i think the gay vs bi tension comes in, because curt CAN be like "i tried to be straight, it didn't work, so god must not want me to be," whereas bucky COULD choose to be in a het-passing relationship, so does that make him worse??? and that's when curt stops trying that tack because it's doing more harm than good, which leads to it turning into "but HOW does it not bother you?" "it only bothers you 'cause you're letting it." cue another blue-screen for a week.
they can't even extrapolate out the concept of receiving unconditional love as one of god's children the way you do from your actual parents or whatever. because no one in bucky's life loves him unconditionally. why the hell would god?
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glisten-inthedark · 23 days ago
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I stopped shipping M*leven (dang autocorrect caught me out in the last ask lol) because of that Queercoding & Internalized Homophobia analysis of Mike on YT
Mike was always a character who I loved in seasons one and seasons two but then season three and season four he soured on me especially when he would argue with Eleven. Like, season three is more palatable because he’s literally like 14 lol but as a M*leven shipper I wasn’t enjoying a plotline where they’re broken up, y’know?
And then the season four fight, Mike’s blustering steps too far into gaslighting for comfort, so it makes it, like, really uncomfortable to watch? Him saying Eleven’s being ridiculous, “I say it,” him deflecting to blame the bullies for Eleven’s insecurities. Viewing it through the lens of Mike not loving Eleven romantically and struggling with internalized homo/biphobia makes that scene make way more sense to me because he’s also trying to gaslight himself.
I also remember not being satisfied with Mike’s “I love you,” spiel to Eleven but I can’t recall why. I wish I could, lol. But I think I got to a point in season four where I had stopped shipping M*leven because I liked M*leven as a ship, and more because I struggle to see Eleven being romantically with someone who doesn’t know of and understand and have partially lived through so much of her trauma and past. Like, I want Eleven to survive the show because she’s literally just a 15/16 year old girl who wants to live a normal life with a happy family. Potentially part of that could include a lover in the future. It doesn’t have to (I’m aroace myself) and I now want her to end the show single, but if I think about post-series, how her character might fare in the average, mundane world, I wonder if she might struggle to connect with someone romantically with doesn’t know everything, and that makes me sad.
But I’ve since realized that the someone who understands her and her trauma still isn’t Mike. He knows more, he knows a lot, but he still hasn’t been able to be the romantic partner Eleven deserves in terms of understanding who Eleven is beyond her being a superhero. Tbh if Lumax didn’t already have my heart, I’d want her with Max ‘cause I think Max understands her as a person far more than Mike does. Having that comparison in general, even platonically, of Eleven and Max’s bond of mutual understanding and care vs Eleven and Mike’s, really helped me realize that Mike just isn’t the person romantically for Eleven despite how much *Murray voice* ~shared trauma~ they’ve gone through together.
Oh that explains a lot!
I always want to hear the thoughts of former mil*ven shippers, just to understand how the switch happened and in your case it makes a lot of sense.
And you hit the nail in the head with your thoughts about El and Mike, because they don't understand each other. Mike doesn't get El's fears, and El doesn't acknowledge the bullying Mike has suffered.
They don't understand one another in fundamental levels that go beyond mild disagreements that are common in all relationships.
And what you said about Mike gaslighting himself is so real, it wasn't only El he was trying to convince, it was himself as well.
Thanks for the answer and I hope you keep sending asks whenever you want to chat ☺️
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nekropsii · 2 years ago
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Hi! I've recently gotten into homestuck and I've read quite a bit of it, as well as other people's blogs analyzing and criticizing the media. I've heard a Lot about Dave's arc being centered around internal homophobia and toxic masculinity, so it surprised me to hear taht you disagreed! I was wondering why you think that, and what are your thoughts on what his arc actually is? I know you don't like writing about the alpha/beta kids, so feel free to ignore this ask completely if you want. Thank you, I hope you have a great day!
Hello, Anon! I'm glad you've been having fun with Homestuck lately!! Despite its many flaws, it is a deeply compelling piece of fiction, and I'm always glad to see new eyes on it and new voices being added to the analytical sphere. To answer your question...
Personally, I have never seen what people are talking about with regards to Dave's whole character arc surrounding overcoming Internalized Homophobia and Toxic Masculinity. These are fundamentally not what his arc is about, and this is never what his arc has ever been about. I'd honestly never seen that analytical lens until after DaveKat rose into prominence (mostly due to Post-Canon's heavy featuring of the pairing), and I feel as if these things are related. It is easier to make easy-to-stomach, shippy angst out of addressing your own personal shortcomings than what Dave's arc is actually about. No shade intended. This is because...
Dave's character arc is, and always has been, about Recovering from Childhood Abuse.
This is the conflict we are made aware of in his introduction, and it's a theme that persists all throughout the story. We meet Dave as a 13 year old boy suffering some pretty extreme abuse at the hands of Bro- Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Sexually. Dave's home life is such an active threat that he struggles to even admit to himself that it is abuse in the first place- that's an admission that takes a level of vulnerability that he just could not afford, and it's something he's only left to truly unpack during the Meteor Arc.
I have a couple major problems with the "Toxic Masculinity and Internalized Homophobia" takes. Firstly, Toxic Masculinity is not inherent to any expression of Masculinity. The only Toxically Masculine trait we see that's applicable to Dave is that he struggles deeply with vulnerability and sincerity in his emotions. However... These don't really have anything to do with what his views on what a man is or should be. They have everything to do with the fact that he was abused by someone who punishes any display of weakness, because Bro excused his abuse with it being "Training". Secondly... Dave is Bisexual. Even if the process of Dave struggling to accept being attracted to men was a major point in the story, it would not be called Internalized Homophobia. It would be called Internalized Biphobia, because Dave is canonically Bisexual, not Gay. We have seen Dave be attracted to more women than men, and attraction to both genders was present simultaneously. It was not Compulsory Heterosexuality. If it was, it'd be actually written into the story. Bisexual people exist. This is not a Homophobic argument to make; I am literally a Gay man.
It's anthropologically fascinating how this take arose... Basically out of nowhere from my perspective, especially considering how all of Dave's most iconic dramatic lines have something to do with him having to sort through his own abuse. Does no one remember the rooftop scene between Dave and Dirk, where Dave starts telling Dirk all about the horrible way that Bro raised him, and how deeply it affected him?
If not, I'm posting the most striking part of it here.
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[Homestuck, page 7749.]
... So, yeah, no. Dave's character arc is not about "Overcoming Toxic Masculinity and Internalized Homophobia". It's about Abuse. Dave is an Abuse Victim. Point blank period. Any trait even loosely attributable to the ideas of Toxic Masculinity and Internalized Homophobia are a consequence of how he was raised, and how he was abused. This does not mean that this is what his character arc is about. That just means that's included within his character arc. It's a way to show growth, not a way to define his arc in its entirety. That is legitimately not how character writing works. To claim such would be to express a remarkable amount of Tunnel Vision.
Inclusion does not equate to Totality. There is a bigger picture, and that bigger picture is Abuse Recovery.
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myaoiboy · 1 year ago
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what are ur hcs for the boscelhira dynamic?
These bitches are so deeply unhealthy on every level lmaoooo
I'm super torn on whether Ocelot ever actually directly tells Big Boss that he's attracted to him, purely out of such a fucked up yandere level of hero worship. Especially before the Ground Zeroes incident I think he assumes a) that his feelings go without saying and b) that bibo is indestructible, and GZ is a huge wake up call for him. I have a fic in my wip folder about this exact thing because I'm obsessed with ocelot I am genuinely rotating him in my brain at all times. :3
Meanwhile Kaz is extremely straightforward. I feel like he has some fucked up ideas about masculinity and sexuality early on, but hey, gay people tend to congregate around all the snakes in large numbers, so any internalized homo/biphobia that he might have had has to evaporate pretty quickly. He definitely makes the first move on Bibo, he tries the moves that he uses on (many, many) women, and ends up getting absolutely plowed.
Big Boss, to me, is an autistic aroace king who doesn't really *get* sex and/or romance, but is down to fuck if only because he knows it's something other people put a lot of value on and it feels good, and as an extension of hand-to-hand combat. Because of that sex-as-an-extension-of-combat mindset I feel like he doesn't bottom much if ever (maybe, *MAYBE* if the Boss were into pegging, but lbr she's probably a lil too homophobic for that).
Kaz is cool with that, especially in the early MSF days. It's like having a tiger on a leash. He basically has a supersoldier to fuck him senseless.
I think maybe BB and Ocelot meet quietly on occasion through the MSF days, but if they fuck at all in this time it's mostly just what BB kind of assumes he's supposed to do, from interacting with Kaz. tbh Ocelot gets off from the weirdest shit so anything *real* is just a bonus.
Ocelot is *extremely* jealous of Kaz, not just for the sex, but for even getting to see Bibo on a regular basis. This fic is basically to me what I think their first meeting would/should be like (actually this whole series of fics is so good i recommend it): https://archiveofourown.org/works/37886539
(There's another fic that I looked for very quickly but couldn't find that includes Ocelot saying a line like "I just wanted to see what all the buzz was about" after they fuck, it may also be a part of that series, but I'm struggling rn lol)
Ocelot pretends it's not jealousy and is instead a totally justified dislike. Definitely thinks of him as Zero's slutty lapdog. He spends the time between MGS3/PO (take your pick on canonicity) and GZ keeping tabs on Snake for what he pretends are totally professional, impersonal, non-obsessive reasons. This is not true, obviously. Definitely hopes that Kaz is dead in the devastation.
Goes on an enormous bender between the attack and finding out that Bibo is alive, maybe the only time that he really, truly lets himself completely lose control. Definitely think at least once he gets REAL fucking close to ODing and gets to talk to the Sorrow for a lil bit. Might be how he finds out Snake isn't dead/won't die.
If they haven't at least hooked up anonymously before, Kaz and Ocelot definitely start to in this 9 year gap. Ocelot knows a lot about the human body and does some fancy acupunctury/knife-y stuff to help with the pain from his injuries because, y'know, they're stuck together for now.
Ocelot totally fucks Kaz because he's the person closest to Big Boss left in the world. Ocelot isn't much of a top himself, but he tops Kaz just to figure out what he's used to, using Kaz to build up this mental model of how Big Boss must fuck using the negative space he's left behind.
I genuinely think that up to this point they REALLY could have saved one another. They're one another's perfect foil, they cover one another's weaknesses, Kaz is all rage on his own behalf but doesn't know when to cut ties, Ocelot refuses to grow a single vertebra if it might inconvenience Big Boss.
I do think that Ocelot spent a lot of time at Zanzibarland, and that Kaz intentionally helped time Intrude F014 for a time that Ocelot wouldn't be there, from some lack of desire to kill his...complicated ex lover.
I think Ocelot would absolutely be furious that he wasn't let die with his boss, and intentionally lets Kaz live in 2005 as punishment (I like biblical allusion and so the idea of Kaz living the story of Cain/Pontius Pilate's doorman, cursed to live a wandering life until the second coming of jesus, or in Kaz's situation, the third(?) coming of Big Boss makes me kick my feet and giggle)
Gonna stop for now cause this is getting like. Comedically long for what you asked lol. But I am more than willing to talk about this forever i love them they're my favorite toxic barbies
but genuinely yall thank you, you're making me think about this which means that I can add a little more to the bunch of fics I have half written and scared to finish lmaoooo
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our-bisexual-experience · 5 months ago
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Idk if this is the exact right place to ask this and you can just completely ignore this but recently I've been realizing I may be Bisexual and I've been struggling to deal with my doubt about it all
Because all the fictional crushes I've had have been on guys and ontop of being in a somewhat religious household I've just always assumed I'm straight and therefore have never bothered to try and question my sexualitiy but recently I've been getting more feelings towards girls like having thoughts and even some dreams of being intimate with one and when I think about it i feel myself get butterflies and like I'm going down a roller-coaster in a sense and I've never felt that when thinking about being with a guy so ???
But I feel this insecurity of being like "oh I'm just faking it" or "I'm over-thinking this"
I'm just looking for any advice on my situation honestly since I have no one irl to confide in about stuff like this so I really hope I don't seem weird asking for any help here?
You don’t seem weird at all! It’s totally normal to be confused! Internalized biphobia is a big issue that I still struggle with too. There are a lot of ways to break down and deal with it. I would suggest looking those up and seeing what works for you. And if at any point you feel like you’re not valid or your identity is wrong, you’re wrong. You are completely valid and I love you. I hope this helped :)
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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years ago
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I've seen a couple of posts from you and some other people that John might be homoromantic bi.
Is it because he's only went out with women in canon for sex and that he's had romantic feelings for Sherlock (and possibly Sholto in the past)?
I'm curious.
(He doesn't seem to be in love with Mary that much either.)
Hey Nonny!
Ah, it's a popular interpretation because of that, exactly. I personally read him that way, because, in BBCS at least, he fails spectacularly at forming any believable relationships with women (and don't get me started on Mary, LOL. I'm sorry, but I STRONGLY believe she trapped him with a fake baby – I think John only went with the marriage because he was pissed off at Sherlock for lying to him) but seems to form REALLY strong attachments to men in authoritative (in his eyes) positions. And yes I also mean Lestrade here too. You cannot tell me that John did put out his feelers for Lestrade when they first met, LOL. BUT John fell RIDICULOUSLY hard for Sherlock, and through context clues and the mirroring of Sholto-to-Sherlock, that John didn't fall hard for Sholto too. There's clues in the episode that their falling out happened after Sholto's accident.
I mean... John GRIEVED for Sherlock like a widower. He was "just getting over" Sherlock when he met Mary (who I think was a plant to get Sherlock to come back, by the way). That was THREE YEARS. John "grieved" for Mary for like... a couple months maybe?? Yeah, he didn't give two flying figs about her, sorry. EVEN IN CANON, Mary is RARELY mentioned and is speculated to have been a beard to keep ACD from suffering the same fate as his friend Wilde [THIS LINK ALSO].
This is a topic I love talking about because sexuality is so interesting to me, given my constant re-discovering of my own self. AND because the characters in the show grew up in the same period I did (early 80's and 90's, so Cusp Gen-Xers/Millennials), it makes SO much sense to me that a lot of John's anger and trust issues come from internalized homophobia and misogyny, and he really didn't open up until he became close to men in his life that he respected and admired and treated him with the in-kind respect and kindness. And I just really relate to them so much... it's probably why this show resonated with me so hard and absolutely why my scary journey of Sudden Realization™ happened hahah.
I genuinely believe that John wants to form a fulfilling relationship, but for him, his internal struggle is that he just CANNOT love women no matter how hard he tries – this is a lot of why people joke that John's a horn-dog... he doesn't care who gets his dick wet, just that he gets it. But at the end of the day, I think his internalized issues keep him from accepting that he LOVES Sherlock fiercely, and it's WHY he struggled so hard with Sherlock's death. I mean, after a certain point he gave up dating because Sherlock GAVE him everything he truly wanted. The women in his life were just to get the sex he wasn't getting from Sherlock, LOL. There's also a REALLY old speculation within the fandom that the trip to New Zealand that John took with Sarah went bad because he called out Sherlock's name during sex... soooo yeah.
Anyway, check out these meta from people who are on the Bi spectrum that can dissect John better than me. I recommend the MOST this thread about Harry and John possibly being twins, and how that is relevant to her being a mirror for John in BBCS. People have commented on it with anecdotes from other bi people about their experience with biphobia in the queer community and in the 80s and 90s, and how in this day and age people seem to forget that any smattering of being gay was met with disdain.
Meta Links to Prove John’s Bisexuality
Meta Links to Sexuality posts for the characters
Closeted John: Growing Up in a Homophobic 80’s/90’s (Not Mine)
is it any wonder John is closeted (Not Mine)
The Way John Looks at Sholto (John’s Bisexuality)
John’s Past and his Bisexuality
So Why Is John Gay when He Says He’s Not? (Irene Clap-Back)
Where Does “Three Continents” Thing Come From?
John’s Attracted but In Denial?
Did Sherlock Know John was Bi?
John Could’ve Been A Real Representation of Bi People
John’s Cheating
AND let's also not forget John's a military man, and while I'm not 100 on how the British military functions, I feel like they also had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy like the American and Canadian militaries did pre-2000's. So. Yeah. AND with the assumption John's parents were homophobic with context clues via Harry and the lack of his entire family from his wedding, a lot of Bi people in the 80's and 90's just "chose to be straight" to avoid being eviscerated. It's a horrific reality that still exists today, sadly.
I love my little bi-disaster John, and you can pry that headcanon from my cold, dead body, LOL.
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beanghostprincess · 1 year ago
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Dipping in and saying transfem Sanusop is great but also just that transmasc Sanji has just a real special place in my heart. He’d probably join the crew already transitioned, just because I can easily see Zeff just being immediately supportive of his boy, and nobody ever questions Sanjis gender ever. He’s „blackleg“, „pervert“, „lovecook“ Sanji and nothing is ever gonna change that. Enter Sanuso tough and things get more complicated because Sanjis ideas of what makes a man are weird and nonsensical at times and him being a „ladies man“ is something he prided himself in and now he has to come to terms with the fact that: No, most straight men don’t regularly think about what it would be like to be in a fulfilling relationship with another man, no not even to „just see what it’s like“, most straight men don’t get those types of butterfly’s around their best friend. And poor Sanji is having an internal struggle because a weird part inside him feels like this somehow invalidates his gender. Bad times and dysphoria all around. Usopp may actually even already know that Sanji likes him back but doesn’t know how to proceed past this issue. He wants to tell Sanji that he loves him, that he would love for him to be his boyfriend, but nothings worth putting Sanji trough a mental breakdown and the thought that them being together would somehow make Sanji feel like a „false man“ is just horrific to him. In my mind they navigate trough it eventually just because I love fluff, but they have a slow burn type of relationship with lots of two steps forwards one step backwards types of progress.
Oh, I absolutely love this.
I've said it already a couple of times, but even if I'm very fond of transfem Sanji, I think transmasc Sanji works just as well with his character and story. He's so trans that no matter what you like, you're probably going to be right. Unless you think he's cis. Then you're definitely wrong. He's trans in every way possible.
His whole view on women and the fact that he worships them so much would have played, in my opinion, a big role in his gender discovery. He would feel so guilty and just... Wrong rejecting womanhood. Like- If he thinks women are the best thing the world has ever created, then why is it so hard to be one? He would have it rough, honestly, accepting himself. Especially after escaping the Vinsmokes and trying to forget all the things they said about him (and how many of them are related to femininity). But I think everything would get easier with time after getting adopted by Zeff. He transitions and he's finally happy with himself (almost, because he still has to fight every day against his own thoughts and past. But at least he's more comfortable in his own skin, now).
And everything goes well from there. Except when he meets Usopp.
It's not that Sanji thinks being gay means being less of a man or anything. He keeps saying he has nothing against gay people and he's being completely genuine there. But his own view on masculinity and what it means to be a man for him includes being a ladies' man. Liking women. Only women. That, and the fact that men and manhood have brought so much pain to his life, make it really hard for him to accept that he's in love with Usopp. With a man. Besides, he has created this persona- This different personality (slightly different from his own. Just a bit more confident and a bit happier and stronger and everything he thinks he's supposed to be considered a man, including liking girls) to feel like a real man. And he is a real man. He knows this. He just feels like if he doesn't follow the right norms he has established for himself and his own masculinity, everything will fall apart.
So, yeah, he kind of has a whole crisis when he realizes he's in love with Usopp. I love talking about Sanji's internalized homophobia/biphobia because I honestly think it's such an interesting topic... But I don't want to make this too long, so I'll just say that he would have a really hard time trying to accept this. The situation would make him angry at himself and even angrier at his surroundings. It would also make him isolate himself because, of course, he won't ask for help. And if Usopp (his best friend) enters a room, Sanji will get out of there just as quickly. His brain is a mess. My poor boy.
Usopp knows, of course, because it's not hard to tell when Sanji is in love with someone. But of course, he won't say anything until Sanji is ready to say something first, because it's pretty much obvious that he's having a hard time, and it's even more noticeable because he becomes more and more and more annoying when it comes to women now. He tries to overcompensate and reaffirm his gender by acting like the ladies' man he tries to be (it doesn't work). And Usopp doesn't mind waiting for Sanji, even if it takes him years, but he can't bear to see Sanji doing this to himself without doing anything to help him.
Not gonna turn this into a whole fanfic because if you're asking me this you probably know my posts and how long they end up being because I turn them into whole one-shots at this point- I swear I won't this time!! But!!
Just saying that Usopp trying to talk things out with Sanji and Sanji having a whole breakdown + Usopp comforting him and saying that they don't have to rush anything if he doesn't want to, that they can go as slow as Sanji wants. That he would wait forever for Sanji. And Sanji accepting to date him and getting used to being loved and loving in that way... I don't know. It feels like a good way to reach the fluff you were looking for with a bit of angst and slow burn first!!!
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adelaidedrubman · 5 months ago
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4, 8, 10, 18 for the pride asks for both (or just one you think it's more relevant to) of ur far cry girlies
TY BELOVED these were great ones to think about and i did do each question for each girlie and am sorry, as always, for the long answers 💕
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4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?
of all the reason she’s locally hated, bisexuality isn’t top of anyone’s list. although actually on second thought a significant portion of the hope county population has probably looked at johnjess and said “huh, i think i’m biphobic now.”
but in all seriousness there is ofc a montana circa 2018 level of biphobia in her life mandated by the setting. mostly only passing reference as far as what’s actually on the page because that’s the only capacity in which it’s fun for Me, The Author to explore it. and because jestiny doesn’t hang out with straight people. which also is really only because as god of the universe i decide every character from canon i like enough to write about must in some way be not cishet. i’ve done many cruel things to mary may, but i won’t do that
and as for family of origin, jestiny certainly did not receive much support. her parents and extended family were mostly bible belt evangelicals and took that to heart, so. not a lot of pride flags hung up in the windows growing up.
that being said, her extended family never really learned she was bisexual because she never voluntarily socialized with them, so they never knew they had anything to disapprove of. in part because her parents’ open disapproval mostly took the I Pretend I Do Not See It/this is one of her many Difficult Phases form of biphobia. this isn’t a problem because it isn’t really happening, and if it is she’ll grow out of it. teenage jestiny stomping through the house screaming “BYE everyone i’m going out on A DATE with my GIRLFRIEND who i KISS WITH TONGUE because i LIKE WOMEN AND MEN” and her mother saying “that’s great sweetie i’m glad you’re finally making some gal pals and developing a positive attitude tell the boys you’re going on your double date with to have you back before curfew” (she goes no contact with her father and never tells her mother anything about her personal life in adulthood so to them this is where it left off forever)
8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?
nothing that deep. it was probably a very easy childhood trip to the library to get on the computer and go “google am i gay quiz. whoa bisexual you can do that?? ok that’s out of the way. wikipedia chinook salmon” for her. and her natural contrarian disposition has helped keep her from internalizing most of the bigotry she was taught she should be internalizing. those signs won’t stop her because she can’t read etc.
10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?
idk why my first thought was that sasuke fic line like “i don’t dance! what’s pride what do they have to be proud of?” anyways yeah every year she goes to the bars with rainbow flags to pick up chicks and bi men then gets piss mad about the place being full of overpriced rainbow shots that are mostly water and food dye and Straight Allies and yells and complains and leaves belligerently announcing she’s going to go actually celebrate pride by catching rainbow trout if you even care. local bisexual woman finds a way to get less ass during pride month than any other month of the year
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4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?
copy paste what i said above about montana circa 2018 but substitute lesbophobia. although ig 2018 jenna would be experiencing less of it on the day to day since her primary social circle is eden’s “We Like Gay” gate. which brings us to yes, her primary canon environment is supportive.
prior to her time in the project her main environment was academic institutions in the greater san francisco area so. yes, she was assured, constantly, very loudly, of how approving her environment was, like the most approving place on earth, basically perfect, and they’re waiting for her applause. (that being said being where she was did give her above average opportunities to connect with other queer people and find a personal community she gelled with.)
as for her family of origin, this is the one part of her life her parents are unconditionally supportive about. “mom, dad: i’m a lesbian” -> “yay, good to know!” vs. “mom, dad: i’m switching career fields from the natural to the social sciences” -> screaming crying throwing up how could you disappoint your family like this what will we tell people where did we go wrong. also they have disapproved of every woman she’s ever brought home but never for the being a woman thing.
8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?
nah, identity is a very flexible and mostly social communication thing for jenna in general so there’s never been a lot of identity formation drama for her, including wrt gender and sexuality. which isn’t to say she doesn’t reflect on it, but it’s more intellectualizing than struggling to come to terms with anything about herself. same with external challenges, she perceives them but intellectualizes it without taking much to heart or feeling any type of way about it, as is her wont.
10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?
she does, jenna has a lot of appreciation for cultural observations and attending sociql events in general, so. if there’s a big pride event near her she’s probably stopping by, albeit often more as a spectator than as an active participant celebrating herself and her community. but she shows up, and may put a pride flag in her window
AAAAAAAND FOR GENERAL:
18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?
i usually define them with whatever is the best familiar term available in character descriptions even if they tend not to define themselves with the same terminology or wouldn’t specificy at all in universe. i don’t always have a character’s sexuality nailed down on day one, but some form of wlw is the default starting point bc write what you know and want to see more of and such. so far i don’t have any ocs that have been adapted for vastly different universes, so i haven’t had to think about whether to change labels to reflect changed circumstances.
also for the record, i would write a straight oc if their being straight was really necessary to the plot or they were a funny side character or something
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film-in-my-soul · 2 years ago
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Alex's Top Gun Master RecList
So I have this shared around on discord, but I figured I would drop it here as well
Alex's Top Gun Master RecList!
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This RecList is a comprehensive list of Floydsinshaw, Hangster, and IceMav fics (along with a couple others) that I've enjoyed reading and would like to recommend to you all! The link will take you to a Google Sheet, and any questions you might have for content/navigation will be on the home page!
I hope you all enjoy and, as a bonus, beneath the cut, I've included my top 6 (because 5 is just too few and honestly 6 is also too few) Recommendations!
So, these are in alphabetical order, not preference order! Don't make me choose!
1.) All The Love You Left Me (Series: 5 Parts)
Author: llewellynprince (couldn't locate Tumblr)
Rating: T-M
Pairing: Hangster (Main), IceMav
Word Count: 63,201
Warning: Rape/Non-Con (non-explicit, Parts 1 + 3), Graphic Depictions of Violence (Part 5)
Summary (1st Part): Jake Seresin is a lot of things, and Javy has been his secret keeper since the beginning.
Alex's Note: This series is structured in such an interesting way. There's no word-for-word dialogue, and it's very intense. I love the look into the different points of view, and it's such a great read.
2.) Bi_e_ual
Author: tempestbreak (couldn't locate Tumblr)
Rating: E
Pairing: Hangster
Word Count: 4,835
Warning: Internalized Biphobia
Summary: Teeth clenched, Rooster leans his forearm across Hangman’s chest, looming, eyes searching eyes. “What’s your game?” If Hangman is intimidated, he gives no indication. In fact, he seems to grasp what Rooster is asking immediately; that stupid smirk curls the sides of his lips as he raises his chin in challenge. “This isn’t a game, Rooster. It’s just life.” The smirk widens. “Well, life and death.”
Alex's Note: There's just something about the headspace for this one, Bradley struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality and how Jake handles that, and how they fit together. It's just a really good read, a fantastic balance of angst and anxiety to satisfaction.
3.) softest hands to hold you
Author: ginnydear (@floydsin)
Rating: M
Pairing: Hangster
Word Count: 5,231
Warning: N/A
Summary (1st Part): “You aren’t the first person to think I’m pathetic and weak, something to be used and not loved.” or - jake's had some bad past boyfriends.
Alex's Note: This fic reached into my heart and squeezed it tightly. There was just something so painful about understanding immediately what Jake is dealing with and having to watch Bradley stumble his way to the same conclusion while it gets worse. I love this fic, and I hope ya'll do too.
4.) Storm (4 Part Series)
Author: thecarlysutra (@icemankazansky)
Rating: E
Pairing: IceMav
Word Count: 34,366
Warning: N/A
Summary (1st Part): An injured Iceman is sent to TOPGUN to recuperate.
Alex's Note: This was one of the first IceMav series I read, and when I was finished, I went and consumed everything that thecarlysutra's written for the pairing. While I love all of their work, this one has a special place in my heart since it really dragged me into this ship. The story itself is so compelling, and regardless of Ice and Maverick getting together by the end of the 1st part every, one that comes after is so worth reading, even if you're not into reading established relationships (like me).
5.) When and Where
Author: twowritehands (@twowritehands)
Rating: M
Pairing: IceMav
Word Count: 25,210
Warning: N/A
Summary: A world where people are given, through reoccurring dreams, 1 to 5 details of their soulbond. The face, the place, the day, the time, or the name. Average is 2 clues. Unlucky bastards get only 1. Lucky people get 3 or 4. No one gets all 5. Maverick is one lucky unlucky bastard. Even though it is his only clue, he knows exactly where he will bond with his soulmate: Charlie's house. But, as it turned out, Charlie wasn't the One at all. Now, heartbroken, Maverick wishes he didn't know that That House is The Place. Because Iceman just moved into it.
Alex's Note: This is hands-down my all-time favorite soulmate AU across any fandom. The pacing is perfect, and the pay-off to angst ratio is ultimately satisfying. I won't spoil anything, but let me tell you, the conclusion had me kicking my feet in joy and rolling on my bed. It's amazing and such an honestly delightful read I urge you not to pass it up!
6.) wingspan
Author: aelibia (couldn't locate Tumblr)
Rating: M
Pairing: IceMav
Word Count: 3,896
Warning: N/A
Summary (1st Part): Iceman is in love. Maverick is oblivious. And the only thing in the world that can bring them together is locked up in a bathroom.
Alex's Note: Now, you might be asking me, "Alex, how the hell are you picking this as aelibia's best work?" I'm not. That's not what this is. Honestly, this space could be filled with any of aelibia's work because they are, without a doubt, one of my favorite IceMav writers. The reason I've chosen this fic is because it's the first crack adjacent fics I've honestly ever read, and while it's definitely got that humorous ridiculous edge, there's something just so delightful about this fic that I can't not recommend it! But honestly, just go read all of aelibia's Top Gun fanfiction. They won't disappoint.
Like I said above, there's so many fics I wish I could put here, 6 doesn't feel like enough. But I hope this gives some people just getting into the fandom a good place to start!
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redheadbigshoes · 11 months ago
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I think. sure you can identify as homosexual biromantic or heteroromantic bisexual. but for me it turned out I was bi neglecting my specific attractions to certain gender.
and conversion therapy issues. people want gays and lesbians to be celibates as a way of "being at least not homosexual", therefore they would validate their "nonhomosexuality" with heteroromanticism or aromanticism.
maybe I'm being biased. but there's this conspiracy theory that SAM is originated from conversion therapy and it makes sense.
I once identified as panromantic asexual too. turned out I was too non-experient/didn't explore my sexuality too much.
I believe allo people who think they have different sexual and romantic orientation are either struggling with a lot of comphet, internalized homophobia or internalized biphobia. It doesn’t really make any sense being sexually attracted to a different gender you’re romantically attracted to when you’re not aro/ace.
Ig it would make sense SAM being originated from conversion therapy if we’re talking about SAM being used by allo people.
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tbh kinda fed up with the whole "fake bi girls" argument. I'm sorry but WHO TF are they hurting. seriously. this just reinforces the stereotype that bi women are just bi "for attention". how do you spot a fake bi woman. literally you can't. unless you ARE that woman, you cannot know if she likes women or not. please please I am so tired of this I am begging you as a bisexual who has dealt with a lot of internalized biphobia bc of this.
and ALSO. I am kinda tired of the whole "bi women don't struggle like lesbian women" argument too. we have different struggles, different problems, it's not a race of who suffers the most and, besides, it's not like us bi women don't get shit for liking women.
please let's stop this whole discourse thing we should be united on this not fighting each other
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newsatsix1986 · 2 years ago
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With the words that have been shared by some members of The Newsreader's community in the recent month or two, it's been a complex minefield for me to navigate. Outwardly I have appeared happy and business as usual, but internally it's been a bit different.
The Newsreader to me and many others is a mixture of a lot of things; beautiful stories of connection between complex characters, strong, lovable characters we can see ourselves in and can be inspired by, and stories from history that are compelling, joyous and also harrowing and gutwrenching. I try to focus on everything here at News At Six 1986, and to further tell all the stories that the writers have started, with as many characters as I can utilise for this.
For a good while this month I have been finding myself second guessing a lot of things I've done in relation to my content. It's been like I've felt alienated from the community just because I wasn't further fuelling the fire of a certain headcanon ship, and offering a holistic experience and a perspective that was different to that. Was I really seeing the show the wrong way because I personally don't follow that narrative eagerly? Was I the weird one to see it as being more than just the Dale and Tim show and wanting to create fan content focused on more than that? Was there even a place for my content at all? Some things said in relation to Dale and his sexuality - both explicitly and in a round about way - have also hit very personally for me as a bi girl too, making me question myself in that regard too; something that I shouldn't be made to feel or do.
With the reassurance of some wonderful people behind the scenes, I have reconciled that there IS a place for what I create, and there are definitely some people that will appreciate it. So continuing along this path is something that I shall do!
I want this post to serve as a gentle reminder. It is okay and lovely to fiercely love a ship in a show, but it is not kind at all to go on the posts of people who offer the different perspective to try to derail it or dissuade them from it, nor is it okay to say that the writers have made a "mistake" by not following through on your personal wishes for the show. I am personally Helen × Dale, but I will never go on someone's Dale × Tim post to dissuade them. There was one user here on Tumblr I had to block due to harrassment on my posts and also showing similar disrespect to friends and the writer's vision for his own show.
It's also vital that you ensure the way you do discuss Dale and his sexuality does not intentionally or unintentionally perpetuate messages of biphobia. He wouldn't be automatically happier if he had an intimate relationship with Tim - his self-acceptance journey is more complex than that - and his queer identity is just as valid when he's in a relationship with Helen. I wasn't any less queer when I was with my ex-boyfriend; for example, nor was I just gay in denial. My complex feelings about my self-acceptance wouldn't be automatically resolved if I had a girlfriend; there's more to it than that. Both sets of feelings co-existed genuinely. The world is more than just gay and straight - the in between exists, and as this show stands right now, that's what it represents.
Also please ensure that how you speak about Helen doesn't further spread mental health stigma or underlying misogyny - holding her to a higher standard than the male characters for the times she might make rash decisions, voices her opinions, or struggles. She should be afforded the same empathy as Dale in her moments of crisis. The show is a dual lead and her story matters too.
Michael Lucas - the show's creator - has made it very clear that Dale's love and attraction and need for intimacy with Helen is real, whilst obviously acknowledging his attraction to men, and that both characters don't neatly fit into labels in relation to their sexuality (Dale) and mental health struggles (Helen); that there is a purposeful sense of ambiguity and an unconventional nature to their relationship, but the love and care between them is undeniable. They sit authentically in the mess of life, and many have identified with them, including myself. I see myself in both of them. How lucky we are to have them, and they both should be celebrated, supported and accepted as such. As should everyone in general.
~ Erin 💖
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