#i have a doctor's appointment to schedule soon btw

[milkzfall]

I JUST REALIZED HOW DAMN BAD I AM FOR DEAN DOMINO AND BENNY GECKO. WHY ARE THEY SO- THEY'RE SO GRIMY AND GRUMMY I NEED THEM

[doublestandardlove]

i don't think i've talked about this, but i friggin' love the prom like y'all i'm so aghh- yeahh freshman me related a little too hard to alyssa greene ;_;

anyways, here's my thing ig (headcanon??) eh here (it's a tad long, sorry :/)

alyssa's mom, mrs. greene's name is veronica. just learned that btw lol (how canon is that? idk)

my personal headcanon for veronica greene is that she was never married to alyssa's father.

they had been dating for three years, and veronica was hoping that he'd propose soon. they had engaged in premarital sex a few times, but not enough to raise suspicion when veronica started getting concerningly sick in the wee hours of the morning.

it wasn't until veronica's coworker suggested getting a pregnancy test that she even entertained the possibility. while they'd been dating for a considerable time, her family had been anxiously waiting for marriage, and so had she.

when she found out she was pregnant, veronica was overjoyed. she scheduled a doctor's appointment immediately, planning to tell alyssa's father as soon as he got home. maybe this was the push they needed to get married.

besides, she was only slightly ashamed for engaging in premarital sex, and marriage would make the sin go away.

but he was not elated. at all. he hadn't wanted a child, especially not so soon. veronica was disheartened by his reluctance, but he promised that they would talk about next steps in the morning.

when the sun rose, he was gone. veronica was absolutely devastated. she texted and called him a million times, begging him to come back. when he eventually picked up, he claimed that he wasn't ready to be a father, but he would send money every few months.

veronica went to live with her family, who were just over the moon to have another greene. her parents were slightly disappointed in her for not abstaining (virginity rocks!), but took her in nonetheless.

when alyssa greene was born, she was raised by a village. her grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, cousins, etc. the entire extended family rose out of the woodwork to help raise this baby. with such a strong family and a small town, alyssa was well supported.

veronica hoped that one day, alyssa's father would mature enough to realize that he's ready to be a father to alyssa. so, she tried her best to raise alyssa as the best, hoping her father would hear of his daughter's achievements and be proud.

maybe if alyssa was perfect, a good, polite girl and an academic achiever, he would come back. he would see the daughter that he made and want to come back to meet such an accomplished girl.

veronica held on to this hope for years, posting alyssa's achievements on facebook and twitter, hoping for some outreach. she prayed that the Lord would bring him back to her, and he'd want to marry her and see their daughter off to college.

but it never happened. veronica blamed herself for not having enough faith, blamed her parents for not steering her hard enough in the right direction, blamed alyssa for not trying hard enough.

nothing was ever enough for her.

alyssa knew that her father wasn't coming back. she'd heard the whispered gossip from her nosy cousins and the conversations behind closed doors. she grew resentful of the hope her mother harbored, knowing they were suffering in vain. she resented her father for leaving them. leaving alyssa with her perfectionist mother.

it was unfair that they both had to suffer because her father was a coward.

alyssa never told her mother about these feelings, repressing them like she repressed everything that wouldn't fit her mother's expectations. she learned to act, how to smile even though all she wanted to do was cry. alyssa learned how not to feel, so she couldn't feel the pit in her stomach or the scream building in her throat. she learned how to hide and deny, going through every motion like clockwork.

it wasn't until one summer at bible camp that she learned how to love.

[rabble-dabble]

diversity win: i'm somewhere on autistc spectrum. diversity loss: i can't write for shit. my handwriting is terrible.

(not on the austistic spectrum) my handwriting is also shit, unless i try really really hard (hurt my hand) to make it look nice. diversity win: i am probably on the adhd spectrum! diversity loss: i am undiagnosed/untreated for literally everything in my life.

[ladylannisterxo]

If requests are open I was thinking dad!steve or something along those lines

I love absolutely love ur writing btw babe 💖

Thank youuuu!! Gosh, I am SO soft for this idea 🥺

Gonna also go ahead and tag @harringtonswiftie for being amazing and constantly chatting with me about Steve ; we have gone back and forth for days about dad!Steve and ahhhhh so much of that has provided inspo for this!! Love youuu 💕

You were nervous, beyond nervous to tell Steve that you were pregnant and you weren't sure why. You knew about his little dream with his "brood of Harrington's" so you knew he wanted kids, but you were both still so young.

But you had to know for sure first before you told him anything - you definitely didn't want to get his hopes up. So, you scheduled an appointment with your doctor and lo and behold, you were, in fact, pregnant.

It's not as if the two of you were trying or anything - it just... happened.

You decided to tell him right away, as soon as you got back home. There was no point in keeping it a secret, you wouldn't be able to hide it forever anyway.

When you get home, he's sitting on the couch nursing a beer and watching one of the many game shows he adores but when he sees you, he immediately smiles. One of those wide Steve Harrington smiles that makes you go weak at the knees and makes you feel like you're fifteen years old all over again.

"Can we talk about something?" you ask slowly, working up the nerve to really push through with this.

"Ye- yeah," he says, turning off the tv and focusing his attention solely on you. "Is everything alright?"

"I think so?" Guess we're about to find out. You seat yourself directly next to him, taking his hands in your own. "So, remember how I told you I was late?" He nods, eyes wide. "Well... I wanted to get confirmation before I assumed anything and, uh, well... I'm pregnant."

He's speechless, more speechless than you've ever seen him. Steve is never at a loss for words and you can feel your body beginning to tense all over. He's mad. He's scared. He hates this. He doesn't want a kid. He doesn't want a kid with me.

"We're gonna have a baby?" He asks softly, eyes flicking down to your stomach and then back up. "A real baby? You and me?"

"Are you... okay with that?"

"Okay?" Then his eyes light up and that thousand watt smile is back on his face. "We're gonna have a baby!"

He swoops in, capturing your lips in a deep kiss and it steals all the breath from your lungs. He's happy. We're gonna be okay.

And Steve is on it, from the very jump. As soon as he finds out you're pregnant, he wants to know everything and he wants to be part of everything.

He buys every single book he can get his hands on and he reads them all, cover to cover. He also likes telling you fun little pregnancy facts as he reads.

"Did you know the longest recorded pregnancy was 375 days?" He turns to you, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"I don't want to think about that."

"Did you know that the baby can hear you?"

"Mhm. The baby can hear you too. Do you wanna try?"

Steve jumps at the chance, ready and eager. He tosses the book he was reading aside and places his palms softly on your stomach. "Hey baby, it's your dad," he whispers as you brush his hair out of his eyes. "I can't wait to meet you. You're gonna be so loved and you're gonna have the coolest parents, don't let anyone ever tell you different."

He comes to every single doctor's appointment, won't miss any of them for the world. And the first time an ultrasound occurs, he cries. He gasps when he hears the baby's heartbeat and then breaks down completely when he's able to make out the little shape of your baby on the screen.

By the time your third trimester comes around, you've been ordered to take it easy and not push yourself too hard or get overly stressed. Steve immediately puts you on mandatory bed rest, ensures you that he has everything 100% taken care of because you and the baby need rest.

He gets you set up in bed with everything you might need: books, magazines, music, the tv remote, and a little bell. "Ring this bell whenever you need anything and I'll be here."

When he steps out of the room, you ring the bell and he comes running.

You stifle a laugh. "Just wanted to make sure it worked."

Once you start nearing the end of your pregnancy; however, you are ready for this baby to be here. You've had enough and decidedly, you never want to be pregnant again. So, and even though it hurts, once those initial contractions jolt you awake in the middle of the night, you're ecstatic because the baby is coming.

"Steve?" You nudge him and he groans. "Steve!"

He sits up in bed, turning on the bedside lamp. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The baby's coming, we have to go."

You're standing by the front door, ready to go. You've had the essentials packed for weeks now but Steve wants to do one last run through of the entire house just to make sure you have everything you need. You're starting to feel impatient, the contractions stealing your breath every time they hit. And Steve? Steve is frazzled, frenzied.

"Babe," you say, stealing his attention. "We have everything, we need to go. Let's go meet our baby."

He smiles, eyes blowing wide with excitement. He laces his fingers with yours and helps you into the car.

After a few hours of screaming, crying and, let's be honest, cursing, your baby has finally entered the world and Steve has not stopped crying. To be fair, neither have you. It has been a night.

The nurse brings your new baby over and you cradle her gently in your arms. Steve climbs in the bed next to you, one arm draped around your shoulder and the other is counting your baby girl's fingers and toes.

"She's so tiny," he whispers, voice full of love and wonder.

"Do you want to hold her, daddy?"

Steve nods, taking her from you gently, and pulling himself back to a standing position. He cradles her against his chest and her tiny fist wraps around his finger.

"You're so perfect, little one, and we love you so much."

It's learned fairly quickly that Steve is the best dad. He is present for everything, ready to go with a camcorder. He films every milestone and even just the things he finds particularly adorable. He wants every single moment to be captured forever. You don't even want to know how much money has been spent on rolls of film for the camera. Steve takes pictures of it all: birthdays, holidays, vacations, every single moment of practically every single day.

Two years after the birth of your daughter, you both welcome your first son into the family and Steve is just as ecstatic the second time around as he was the first.

You love your family and Steve being ever endlessly himself makes you want to continue to grow this little family into a big family. Like Steve said, a full brood of Harrington's.

[chaotic-archaeologist]

So I know you made the post about a gender neutral ob/gyn visit, which I found extremely helpful btw, but how do I even make the first call to try to see a new doctor? ob/gyns here don't take referrals (but my endo recommended someone she trusts), so I need to call them. I know as far as saying "I'd like to register as a new patient and get an appointment with Dr X, or Nurse Y if Dr X isn't available soon" but what happens next? Is that question even correct?

Do I have to tell them exactly why I want an appointment? Or describe any part of what's going on with my genitals? I'm a trans man with a deep voice, how can I briefly explain that so they don't doubt my sincerity (or rather, so I don't get anxious about if they'll doubt me)? Is there a polite way to ask if the staff has proper sensitivity training? Or if the doctor has seen many trans patients before?

Hey there, I'm really glad to hear that my gender neutral obgyn post helped you out!

For what it worth, it sounds like you've actually got more figured out than you think you do. Here's the guidance that I would add:

When you call a place, start off with something like "Hello, I'm looking to establish a new provider for [a basic description of your needs, like reproductive care, sexual wellness, birth control, etc], but first I'd like to ask you a couple of questions. If you can't answer them, I would appreciate being directed to someone who can."

Then you bring up the issues that you've phrased so eloquently in this ask. Has their staff had LGBTQ+ sensitivity training? Does this clinic have many trans patients? Is there a provider that works the most with trans patients and is particularly familiar with trans gynecology needs? I think that asking these questions should be enough to clue them into the fact that you're trans, and hopefully that should be enough to make them take you seriously.

As a trans man, I totally understand why you're concerned about being taken seriously by a obgyn. I still occasionally feel awkward on the phone or in the waiting room, and my provider has always been great. However, the way I've developed thinking about this is treating it like a litmus test. Do you really want to go to a provider that judges you right off the bat? Plus, there could be any number of reasons why a person with a deep voice could be calling an obgyn. Maybe it's a cis man calling to set up care for his partner. Maybe it's a cis woman with a deep voice.

If their answers meet your satisfaction, then I think it's a great time to break out your "I'd like to register as a new patient and get an appointment with Dr X, or Nurse Y if Dr X isn't available soon." That sounds like a totally reasonable way to start out to me!

After that, they will most likely have you schedule an appointment based on your desired time-frame/their availability. There will probably also be some paperwork that they ask you to fill out as a new patient, like your medical history, any medications, etc.

As a side note, this paperwork often tends to be unfortunately cis-woman centric in its language. It seems to me like the paperwork takes a lot longer to change than staff practices, and you should be ready to experience a lot of very binary phrasing while also understanding that this may not reflect the way the staff behaves.

Finally, remember that you can always fire your doctor! If you have a bad experience, or even a not-great experience, there is no rule requiring you to go back. Keep searching for a place that will give you the affirming healthcare experience you deserve.

-Reid

[ohbae-me]

oh my goshhh I just saw the pregnancy headcannons and oml I cant😫

Can I request somefor a couple other brothers? Lucifer, belphie, and Levi??

I love your writings btw 😊❤️

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy these as well 🥰

Lucifer;

When MC first tells him, he's just going to kinda stare at them in shock for a good 5 minutes

Internally, he's thinking about his own father, his relationship with Satan, and how unsafe the house is for a baby. But when MC places a hand on his cheek, he snaps out of it and gives them a tender kiss. If MC is by his side, it can only be perfect.

Really loves shopping for baby items? Can't help but picture his future with MC and baby as they shop and it warms his heart

The brothers have always been in charge of keeping the human safe, but Lucifer demands much stricter security measures for them throughout the entire pregnancy. He wishes he could do it himself more, but unfortunately it's not as feasible. However when he's around, he tends to hover over MC, not letting them strain in anyway.

Hes always been softer with MC, especially in private, but he just can't keep it to himself as easily once they're carrying his child. He will be much more likely to show PDA, especially lovingly rubbing their tummy as he speaks with them

Works hard in the early stages of the pregnancy so that he can take time off near the end. He wants to spend as much time with MC as he can in the last couple months.

Will do whatever he can to keep them healthy and comfortable, and is extra cautious about his own schedule and work habits now. Attends every single doctors appointment and would drop everything if MC needed something.

That initial fear comes back when MC goes into labor, but he stays calm for their sake. Almost gets kicked out of the delivery room because he's being snarky with the nurses since his MC is clearly in pain and they need to do something about it right this second.

But when he sees MC holding their child and smiling up at him, he thinks he might actually cry he's so happy. Lots of forehead kisses for MC and baby.

Leviathan;

Thinks MC is joking and is expecting Mammon to jump out and yell GOTCHA at every second.

Literally takes him until the first ultrasound to finally get it though his head that he's going to be a father. He's going to be a dad?! Has a full on panic attack when they get home. It's probably going to take a lot of comfort and reassuring from MC to calm him down.

MC manages to find lots of animes about families with babies and he finally starts coming around and getting excited. He is terrified, but knows it'll be okay with MC there with him.

Always in awe of MCs baby bump once it starts showing. Cannot keep his hands off of it. Honestly, he's going to talk to the baby more than he talks to MC. He reads it TSL, tells it about his favorite games and series, and how much fun they're going to have as a family soon.

Buys all sorts of games and series for children. He's so excited to teach his kid all about his interests! The brothers are going to constantly complain about how many Akuzon packages are being delivered, but when they see the cute baby stuff and MCs belly they drop it. Honestly they're buying just as much for the little one, such proud, doting uncles!

He's not as overbearing during the pregnancy as some of the other brothers, but when he's alone with MC he talks a lot about their future family, his worries, his excitement and his love for MC and their unborn child.

Is both terrified and in awe when baby starts to kick and move around. After he's sure MC isn't hurt, he tells all his brothers that his baby is going to be the super strong protagonist that can kick everyone's butts.

Goes very quiet when MC goes into labor, he's terrified and anxious and doesn't really want to have to experience this part, but he really wants to be there with MC and to see his baby. He hates that he can't help more than just holding their hand through it and is definitely crying, but he holds them tight and tells MC how amazing and strong they are.

Is still crying when MC passes him their baby, and holds it more tenderly than any of his most prized merchandise. He knows then that there isn't anything he wouldn't do for this little one.

Belphegor;

Is shocked when MC tells him, but is actually one of the quickest to come around to it. He's all smiles as he kisses MC and tells them that they need to go tell Beel, then the rest of the brothers right away.

He's a family person, and starting a family with MC is one of his favorite dreams

Hates to admit it, but while he's nervous about it, he has a good family that will be there to help if they ever needed it. Knows this baby will have the most protective uncles and be the most spoiled child in all three realms.

He's so smug about it and takes any chance he can to rub it in that MC is pregnant with his child

Becomes very delicate with his nap cuddles. He doesn't cling so tight for fear of hurting them, and likes to have an arm over MCs middle, keeping his human and child safe and close.

Buys MC a pregnancy pillow and regrets it because now that pillow gets more cuddles than he does. But will buy so many pillows, blankets and soft things to keep MC comfortable throughout the pregnancy.

Hums soft lullabies to their belly when he thinks MC is asleep and is surprisingly diligent with making sure the nursery is all set up for baby, and making sure the house in general is child safe

Is the most calm during the labour, soothes MC and keeps them as comfy as he possibly can. Has Beel handy with some comfort snacks and ice chips if MC needs it. His smile and gaze is nothing but loving as he watches MC bring their child into this world

Adores his child the second he gets to hold them. He never thought it was possible to love so much and was proved wrong with MC, then all over again with their baby. Will definitely only let Beel hold them at first, but is actually really happy that all his brothers are there too.

Solomon;

Can't stop grinning and hugging and smooching MC when he finds out. He had never planned on starting a family until he met MC, and now he feels like it's the best possible future for him.

Definitely passively aggressively rubs it in to all the brothers any chance he gets, and is way too smug when they get jealous and annoyed

Definitely looking up protective spells to keep MC safe and potions to help ease any symptoms NC might suffer throughout the pregnancy.

Reads lots of books on parenting with MC, and really enjoys shopping for baby items together. Also signs them up for those birthing and parenting classes

Gives in to MCs pleas to please take genuine cooking lessons from Barabatos after he offers to cook MC some weird food he heard was good for baby development. MC just begs Barbatos to make it instead because they don't trust it at all even after the cooking lessons

Doesn't hover too much unless they are visiting the Devildom. Then he makes sure he's always holding their hand or is close by in some way.

Teaches MC any magic he feels would be useful to them and baby. Healing spells, protection spells, funny ones to make baby laugh, etc.

Finds them the cutest house in the human world, big enough for all the guests they will inevitably have as well and becomes the ultimate house husband. Minus cooking. He'll make sure everything is clean and tidy, that the nursery is out together and ready, that MC attends all their appointments. Especially towards my the end of the pregnancy, Solomon makes sure that MC can relax and take it as easy as possible before baby comes.

He is very prepared for the labor. Hospital bag ready in hand and he helps MC get to the car, timing contractions and gives the doctor a perfect medical history when they check in. Has MC in the comfiest clothes and keeps them so calm through the whole thing. Talks them through it and praises them while they push.

Is ecstatic to finally hold his baby. His smile is huge as he rocks the little bundle of joy. He picks out all the features that are identical to MC and himself and can't believe that they made something so beautiful together

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

I’m listening to the first episode of Maintenance Phase (which is a great podcast btw, I listened to like every other ep first lol) and it’s just making me think about my experience with the first doctor i ever had who didn’t make me feel awful for being fat, so i’m going to vomit that out here to help any skinny people know a little of what it’s like to be fat in the healthcare system. Indulgent personal shit follows:

Every single doctor I’d had as an adult, every single one, would ask what I was doing to lose weight, would point to BMI and obesity charts telling me I was a.) fat and b.) going to die soon because I was so fat. It was something I just had to let happen to get healthcare, and the most frustrating part was that I fucking knew I was fat already. OBVIOUSLY I did. Every person I went on a date with, every coworker who side-eyed my lunch, even people at the supermarket looking like they were about to laugh when I grabbed carrots or broccoli to make myself. Knowing didn’t help. I’d tried constantly for over a decade, and nothing had changed my weight in the way they wanted it to.

So, when I went to find a primary care doc when I moved to Washington, I really assumed the same thing was going to happen. I specifically wore my “lightest” clothing and shoes so they wouldn’t impact my weight too badly, and getting on the scale was legit terrifying, because I didn’t own a scale for the specific reason it felt so bad to see the number come up, and the number ended up being 284, and I almost cried, and I just knew I was about to get yelled at. I’m tense the entire appointment (and my blood pressure reads worryingly high), but she doesn’t say anything about it. We just have a normal first appointment. She says she’s gonna have me get an at-home blood pressure cuff to see if maybe it’s just the office that made me nervous. 

And at the end she asked if I have any questions, and I pretty timidly ask if I should be worried about my weight, if I should be losing weight, and she just said “Nope, all your other vitals are good, we’re gonna get bloodwork done today anyways so we’ll see if there’s any issues there, but everything else looks fine to me.” and i legit started crying, and I told her how I was expecting her to tell me I need to lose 20, 50, 100 pounds, because that’s what other doctors told me, and she just listened and asked me when I was done talking if losing weight was something I wanted to do. I told her yes, and then she asked me a question I hadn’t ever been asked before by a doctor: If we ignore you not being happy with how you look at your weight, and people being rude and shitty to you, is being fat causing you any physical problems?

What a wild question to hear as a fat person! I’d literally never been asked that before. It was just *assumed* it was giving me health problems, and I just assumed that was correct, even though as a 28 year old plenty of patient people had already told me those things aren’t related that directly and concretely, that plenty of fat people are perfectly healthy, and plenty of skinny people are unhealthy. And I took a few seconds to think about it, because I never had before, and I said that my knees hurt sometimes when I bend down, and that I get winded easily. And I said that I know exercise would help those things, but I can’t exercise around other people, I feel too embarrassed, and I’ve never found any at-home stuff that I could keep up with or didn’t make me miserable. 

And she asked what kind of physical stuff I liked as a kid, and I mentioned gymnastics, and she asked if I’d tried yoga, since it has lots of similar stretching, focus on form, things like that, and it would likely help my knees if I started slow at first and worked my way up. and I hadn’t ever tried it, so we decided, together, for me to give it a shot before our follow up appointment to look at my bloodwork. and she emphasized that if I wanted to make it a habit, the most important thing was just to do a little bit each day, even if it’s just 5 minutes. If 30 minutes was too daunting (and let’s be honest, 30 minutes of exercise is daunting even on my days off, let alone after a 9 hour shift on my feet), just do a couple stretches, so that way your body gets used to the idea of doing it. trying to do 30 minutes 5 days a week would just mean i never did it at all.

And after we ended the appointment, suddenly I wasn’t afraid to go to the doctor anymore, imagine that! The next time I went, my blood pressure was perfect because I knew I wasn’t going to be insulted and made to feel awful, I wasn’t waiting to be told the thing I’d been told for years and tried to change, but just kept getting worse at. And, incidentally, I did end up losing weight- I’m at 225ish right now, in just like two years, which I don’t say as a “go me”, because it doesn’t matter, and for plenty of people, lifestyle changes wouldn’t have done that anyways, and there’s fucking nothing wrong with being 284 pounds, but just to point out that the only thing that actually *worked* to accomplish the goal of all the doctors I had before was not caring about that goal. None of their hectoring and shaming did the thing they wanted, and the thing so many people cautioned against- “glorifying obesity”, aka just not making fat people feel like dogshit all the time- was what gave me the mental energy to exercise regularly, to eat better. 

because I wasn’t weighing myself, and I knew at the doctor, no matter what the number was, it would be ok, I felt ok asking questions, bringing up problems I had getting cooking into my schedule, asking for help on health-related things instead of just a number over and over and over again. I was less stressed, I felt better about myself and my body, which also gave me more mental energy to do the things I wanted to be healthier. not skinnier, healthier. It’s almost like...when doctors care more about their patients’ health than their weight, when they don’t make them feel ashamed and awful, the patient will actually go to the fucking doctor. The patient will listen and care more, will ask questions, will bring up when they’re having problems or something seems off with their body. when i moved to Colorado and had my last appointment with that doctor, I cried and told her she was the best doctor I ever had, and I still tear up thinking of how much she changed and improved my life by just being a good fucking doctor who cared about my health.

also usually i read over my longer posts before i post them to make sure grammar and spelling are ok, but this is long so i didn’t do that, so it’s probably fucked. oh well.

[zephyr-together]

it’s been exactly one month since top surgery! here’s a summary of what all went down! disclaimer: please do not feel that you need to feel pressured to remember things from this post or any other, your doctor should instruct you on the most important things to do or not do, and also this is my experience and everyone’s will be different! 

I saw Dr. Kenneth Wolf! I highly recommend him if you’re in the area or able to get to him, very skilled and very cheap (only was $5400, $5900 if you get nipple grafts which I ended up deciding not to have) there is a 250 lb weight limit though, they weigh you the day of surgery so if you’re unsure if you’ll be able to make it I’d suggest seeing a surgeon who operates more on plus sized folks

he was/is SUPER booked, I had my consultation in October and had to schedule surgery in June. this made me confident I made the right decision though because of how many people go to him, and having to be stuck in the body I didn’t want for a lot longer than I thought made me more eager to have it so I wasn’t as scared as I would have been otherwise. that being said, it might be smart to ask ahead how long the wait time is so that you can save during that time! because I didn’t know about the wait I had already had most of my money that I got together since last June so I could’ve had it about four months sooner, but hey everything worked out in the end :) 

speaking of saving money, for this doctor there’s a $500 down payment that I paid when I went to the consultation visit (if you’re out of the area they can do consultation over email btw!) the rest was collected about a week and a half before surgery. I have a debit card so it had to be split up in three transactions. I’m very thankful they worked with me on that!

I went into a small room where the doctor met me, marked me up and took my picture. then he said the anesthesiologist would meet me, which she did in a few minutes and went over a bit of questions/paperwork and took me to the operating room! 

I lied down on a table with my arms out, it felt like I was an alien getting vivisected, that combined with my needlephobia made that a bit scary but I’ve been waiting so long so it was exciting too. they had me hooked up to an IV but I think they did that while I was under because I felt the needle go in and then out. and then in a minute I was out! 

I wasn’t aware of this because it was during the surgery but they have a machine to massage your legs to keep up circulation and I had a tube down my throat too. when I woke up the first thing I hear is “the surgery was a success!! :D” and it felt like a weird dream because of anesthesia but in what felt like a few minutes I was almost as awake as normal which was surprising because I was out of it for hours after getting wisdom teeth out so I thought this would be way worse in that way

I had three intense sensations when I woke up: nausea, tightness and hunger. they asked right away if I was nauseous and gave me an alcohol patch to put on my nose which immediately took the feeling completely away. I had a very specific craving for Burger King’s impossible whopper, I think that’s because of not being able to eat I wanted something substantial like meat (vegetarian so closest thing to it) and something QUICK because hungy 

the tightness was pretty intense and unexpected, I felt desperate to rip off my surgical vest but they assured me it’s actually fairly loose. I think it’s just the incisions that give you a tight sensation but what you see and feel on your body is the vest so your brain says that’s the culprit I think. as time went on I ended up feeling desperate for the vest actually but I’ll go into that later

when I got the whopper I’m VERY thankful my dad who met us after picking it up also got the milkshake because I couldn’t produce saliva at all and didn’t know that would happen. I think that’s from having the tube in my mouth. I also could barely hold anything with my left hand because of that being the arm I had the IV in, but both the no saliva and limp left hand things went away in a few hours I think

by the time we got home which was I think an hour and a half after I woke up, I had really intense pain in my throat and under my armpits. the painkillers they gave me eventually kicked in about an hour or so after I took them, I’d suggest to bring them to surgery maybe if possible so you can take them asap, I think I wouldn’t have had that at all if I did, at that level of intensity anyway. for my throat I basically went nuts and drank water, had popsicles, ice cream, fruit, cough syrup, etc and it went away in 2-3 days or so

speaking of the pain under my armpits, that was from the tubes in me to drain extra unwanted blood and puss and stuff like that, it sounds super awful but I wasn’t allowed to remove the vest for five days and I’m naturally sweaty so I didn’t even know there were tubes in me or that I was draining until like four days later. I was stuffed with tons of gauze under the vest so eventually when I did notice the drainage we pulled out the dirty ones and pushed in some clean ones (they provide you with the same kind of gauze). the main awful thing about it was just the idea of having tubes in me, it didn’t bother me so much when I thought it was part of the incision haha...

now that I complained about the tube and throat pain I will say the “pain” for me of the actual incision area was almost nothing for me at all, just a bit of a weird tingly or pokey sensation every so often and that’s all really. but again everyone is different ! 

appetite was funny because it felt like I’d feel really hungry and eat hardly anything and feel good! another post suggested to have pineapple to help with bruising and I think it worked because I ate pineapple constantly and had pretty much no bruising at all

also I hope this isn’t too gross but I couldn’t pee and I was constipated. it wasn’t too much trouble because for the. pee I could just push and it’d come and for constipation that’s a problem that happens for me in general. both took about a week to wear off. they’re side effects of anesthesia I believe. other side effects I had from that were my legs and arms would feel pretty sore at times and my legs were wobbly, they said that I’d need to move my legs around a bit every once in a while to prevent clotting and I got a bit nervous about that so I ended up going for two walks a day! probably not needed to do that much but I think it helped speed up leg recovery 

after that more intense pain was gone after just a few hours I felt fine to watch shows and play viddy games! I thought I’d be zonked out for days or something but I was pretty alert after just a few minutes of coming out like I said. I could’ve probably drawn or made plushies too but it just felt so weird to move my arms at that point and was probably for the best I didn’t and just watched stuff and played games and slept a lot. it felt a bit frustrating how boring it was at times after a week or so but I just focused on how much of my life I’ll feel good now because of this so the recovery time isn’t that bad knowing that

five days after the surgery I had my first post op appointment! this was for the doctor to inspect the incisions, give us ointment to put on the scars and more gauze, and to finally be able to throw away all of the gauze that was under the vest! at this point I was allowed to take off the vest to replace the gauze and put ointment on as well as shower, and was given bandaids to put on the tubes for showering. however the sensation of not having the vest on at this point was SO horrible to me, I felt like a doll that was being pulled and unraveled apart, it made me want to throw up too so I took a shower as fast as possible and then just opted to get my hair shampooed at salons every other day for a couple weeks, so in retrospect I could have not gone five days with no shampoo but nothing can go absolutely perfectly after all!

a couple days later I ran out of oxycodone and tried replacing it with motrin which gave me three vivid nightmares in a row of having really bad fights with my parents and friend over dumb things which sounds silly but it messed me up emotionally and I kept sobbing uncontrollably out of nowhere that I felt like such a burden to take care of. I thought I was just emotional from the surgery but as soon as I switched to tylenol that went away completely! I don’t think it’s that motrin is bad because I looked it up and it’s a rare side effect, it’s just either that my body specifically doesn’t like it or it was the way it was combined with the antibiotic I had 

the second post op was to remove the tubes and it was 13 days after the first post op. they said if you live out of the area you can remove the tubes yourself so I’m very thankful we’re in the area haha. the left tube came out so smooth and quick that I didn’t feel it even come out at all! the second hurt for a second but I think because it kept getting bent backwards but it didn’t hurt too much. the tubes were SUPER wiggly and actually pretty flat so I think they’re constantly improving them to make them less and less noticeable. 

I was told I had to use the bandaids on my holes for showering and keep gauze on them too for just two more days and I could also throw the vest away then. I still felt too sensitive to get rid of the vest yet and wore it for another week, I still have it in case I want it for now (been going without it for about three days at this point) it still feels very strange without it since it feels like it’s holding you together but I think no matter how healed you are it will a shock to your body to not have that on anymore...also the “holes” from the tubes are more like slits which just look like slightly more open areas of the incisions so it’s barely noticeable. there’s some swelling where that used to be but that’s going down! 

now at this point where I’m at, I still feel best putting ointment on with gauze and bandage wraps I bought as a transition from the vest to nothing under the shirt which seems to be working pretty well! it might be that I’m autistic that I’m so sensitive to that feeling and had to have my vest on longer and now this instead of nothing. also I took three weeks off of work initially (I work a desk job) and asked for a couple more weeks of working from home before going back to the office to be able to adjust

also I will say if you live alone, I think you can handle surgery and taking care of yourself if you’re determined, as long as nothing you need to use to feed yourself and whatnot is up too high, too low, or too heavy. but if you can I’d highly suggest staying with someone who can help take care of you, it really helps easy the transition. in my summary I will say there was almost no pain at all but a whole lot of WEIRD stuff I wasn’t used to, but in the end it’s not a whole lot to deal with, considering! 

[robinruns]

Let's see if I can post this without being absolutely bombarded with unrequested and frankly unwanted medical advice from people who don't actual know my whole life! ✌🏻

I'm gonna have to refill my antidepressant prescription soon and I wonder if they're gonna let me do it without scheduling an appointment with my doctor. It's been over a year, but my doctor changed right around the beginning of covid times and I've never seen this new one. I will need have an appointment at some point later this year because I'll need a new IUD.

The thought of scheduling an appointment and explaining My Whole Deal again sounds exhausting. But I've also been feeling lots of big sad lately and Idk if that means I need my meds tweaked or if it's seasonal or if the fact that we've been in a goddamn panorama ponderosa panini pandamonium pandemic for a year now is just making everything worse.

Part of me is like "i ShOuLd TrAcK mY sYmPtOmS!" and then my depression just laughs. Like "bitch you can't even track how much water you drink in a day (not enough btw) you think you can track your emotions and triggers and symptoms?! LMAO The only thing you can do consistently is listen to Danger Days on repeat in an attempt to Feel Something"

So I dunno. That's where I am at. Maybe I just need to tough this period out 🤷🏻‍♀️ or maybe they'll force my hand and make me talk to the doctor before I can get my refill. We'll see.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) VI -Modern!Shirbert

Words: 2,292

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Six: Kindred Spirits.

Anne to ‘Golden Trio’: I know you were looking forward to our party this weekend but I just got my period and I’m DYING so… rain check?

Cole: Bitch—

Diana: Oh, no! :( I hate when that happens, but it’s okay, we can wait!

Cole: I just want you to appreciate my friendship right now cause I’m on the verge of throwing myself over a cliff but fine, I have no uterus, no opinion. I’ll have to stand these beasts a while longer

Diana: Those are your nieces, nephews and siblings you’re talking about, Cole…

Cole: And I love them but doesn’t mean they don’t suck

Anne: I love you so much Cole, I promise next week it’s on!

Anne dropped her phone on her nightstand, then it buzzed once more, she groaned but picked it up anyway, Josie's name on the screen.

Josie: Ruby’s having a crisis. Waiter guy won’t answer his phone and now she’s on the verge of shaving her head.

Anne: goddamit I just got my period, I’m still on my pj’s!

Josie: We can go to your place? I really don’t want to deal with Ruby on my own...

Anne bit her lip, she had the tendency to lack patience during her periods, but the girls needed her, so she couldn’t say no.

Anne to ‘Golden Trio’: If you guys feel like witnessing some drama Josie’s heading to my place with a "Pink Crisis."

Cole: Fuck, did that waiter broke things off with Ruby already?

Anne: Apparently he’s not answering her texts and Ruby’s about to go crazy.

Cole: I’m in. Anything as long as I can leave the house.

Diana: Sorry, I was talking with Minnie May

Diana: btw I’m in too, let me see if I can take the car and I’ll pick you up @Cole

Cole: Cool, text me when you’re coming.

Anne dropped her phone again, this time on her pillow, and got up to let tell Marilla and Matthew that the girls plus Cole were coming. 

A strange thought came to her as she got up from bed. She felt like there was something missing, something was out of place, or unfinished. Was she supposed to text someone? Had she missed an appointment?

‘A doctor's appointment,’ said a voice at the back of her head.

Anne snorted at the absurdity of that, she knew there was no doctor's appointment scheduled, what the hell was wrong with her? Maybe it was just the hormones...

___________________

Bash was still not over the fact that Gilbert had had a “wet dream” about Moody’s girl and kept teasing whenever he could. It wasn’t Ruby though, Gilbert knew that, somehow.

He was sure that the girl in his dreams had red hair and grey eyes. Or blue, he couldn’t remember well. Either way, as the afternoon went away he started to forget. Sure enough, it’d been nice, he woke up feeling some sort of strange joy for the rest of his shift until it was time to close the diner, then his mind drifted to the dishes he needed to clean and the bills they had to pay.

While Mary was upstairs putting Delly to bed Bash sat next to him on the living room, making sure to mess up the comfortable position Gilbert was in by putting his legs on the boy's lap and laying on the whole lenght of the couch.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re the real twenty-year-old in this house and I’m the parent,” Gilbert rolled his eyes, pushing Bash’s legs away.

“That’s cause you’re always grumpy. You know why you always grumpy, Blythe?” Bash smirked.

“I don’t want to know.”

“It’s because you need to get laid.”

“There we go…”

“Why can’t you be a normal young adult and get one of those apps to hook up?”

“Because everytime I try it, all I think about is how I could end up murdered or sick- Do you want me to die of syphilis, Bash? Is that what you want?”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m not that desperate for sex, anyway.”

“I don’t wanna know the context of that sentence at all,” Mary walked in holding a basket full of Delly’s clothes. “But since you have all this free time to talk about your sex life, why don’t you help me with the girl’s stuff and fold them while I make myself a cup of tea?”

“Sure,” Gilbert agreed, happy to change the subject.

___________________

“Am I asking too much? Does god hate me?”

The group groaned in exasperation at Ruby’s inquires.

“I think you should finish your tea and breathe,” Diana said patiently.

“What she needs is to get her shit together and understand that it’s the twenty-first century. No man is going to propose to you after a drunk make-out session, Ruby!” Josie rolled her eyes.

“I know that!” Ruby said defensively. “But he’d been so nice even before that... I thought he liked me!”

“Maybe he does,” Anne said. “You have to remember that it’s Christmas, maybe he’s shopping? Maybe his phone got busted? I don’t know, give him the benefit of the doubt!”

“You know what my advice is,” Cole said simply.

“Yes,” Diana and Anne said at the same time.

“I’m gonna say it anyway. Dump the idiot and live your best life. Why are you trying to have a serious relationship when half of the boys in college are desperately trying to get in your pants?”

“Are you trying to get her pregnant or with syphilis? Because that’s how you do it, that's how you get syphilis,” Anne said crossed her arms. “She doesn’t have to sleep around to be happy! She just needs to be logical!”

“Okay, Dr. Heart, what do you recommend?” Josie huffed.

Anne whined and curled up under the covers. Ruby and Josie were sitting at the edge of her bed while Diana and Cole laid casually on the floor, their heads against the pillows Anne had given them so they weren’t completely flat on the ground.

“I don’t know, I’ve never dated a guy for more than a month.”

“Ew, Roy,” Cole said instantly.

“But maybe… I don’t know, do you have his intagram or something?”

“I do,” Ruby sniffed. “I haven’t checked it cause I didn’t want to look desperate and you know how I always accidentally like old pictures…”

“Facebook?”

“No...”

“If you have his instagram, you have his facebook,” Cole said.

“How come?”

“Give me your phone,” His hand lifted from the ground, Ruby gave it to him.

“Okay, so we decided to go full stalker then,” Josie said bluntly.

“It’s either this or…” Anne stopped herself before saying ‘or hearing Ruby mop for another three hours’ but managed to hold her tongue just in time.

“This is for the best,” Diana replied almost as if talking of a medical procedure.

“Can someone go to the bathroom and fetch me the painkillers?” Anne groaned.

“I’ll go, see if I can drown myself in the toilet,” Josie mumbled. “I can’t believe you guys are my best friends…”

Anne laughed at that. Truth be told, Josie and her weren’t exactly close during their youth, Josie even sort of made her life a living hell for a whole year during Junior high, then some random dude tried to take advantage of her during a school dance and Anne stood up for her in front of the whole school. Josie spent the rest of her highschool years making up for her bad actions by defending Anne from any nasty comments anyone would throw her way.

She kept this up even during college, and Anne would’ve gladly told her it wasn’t necessary if it wasn’t because Josie seemed to get more insulted whenever Anne tried to point it out than if she was actually insulting her.

“You know what I’d love to have right now?” Anne yawned.

“A nap?”

“I’d love to have one of those god awful pancakes they used to make in our highschool’s cafeteria. God, they were awful, but for some reason I’m craving those fucking pancakes...”

“You ever crave flowers?” Diana asked absentmindedly.

“What?” Anne laughed. “What do you mean?”

“Like, you walk past a flower shop and you see a gorgeous bouquet, and then some random day you’re like, ‘Man, I wish I had the bouquet, it’d look amazing on my coffee table'”

“I… no– wow, I think it’s the first time you've beat me, Diana. That was the weirdest thing I’ve heard in a while.”

“Oh please, you love flowers, you must have felt that way at some point!”

“No, I swear,” Anne sat up. “I mean, maybe because if I see pretty flowers I just buy them, never been one to say no to buying flowers.”

“That’s the reason why our flat always stinks like gardenia, or roses, or lilies…” Cole adds distractedly.

“You know,” Ruby said, a bit calmer than before. “No boy has ever given me a bouquet.”

“That makes two of us,” Anne patted her knee.

“Three,” said Cole.

___________________

“So, Moody got mugged as soon as he left the bus station yesterday,” Gilbert sighed.

“Oh god, is he alright?” Winnie asked through the phone.

Winifred was back in town for the holidays, and she had many stories to tell about Paris and the girls she’d met there. She was one of Gilbert’s best friends from highschool, if not the only he still had from that time apart from Moody.

They were planning to have lunch the next day, but she’d called him to let him know she was home now, safe and sound, and they were chatting the night away.

“Yeah, a black eye and no phone or wallet, but fine,” Gilbert chuckled. “What’s worse is that he’s not even mad about that, he's upset that he won’t be able to text his girl...”

“What?!” She gasped. “I didn’t know Moody had a girlfriend!”

“He doesn’t,” The boy squinted. “Well, I think they saw each other the other night at the bar and they kissed, but I’m not so sure.”

“Right, because you were utterly shit-faced.”

“Yup.”

He heard her laugh.

“I miss you two so much! Honestly, sometimes I feel like french guys lack sense of humor.”

“Oh, but I bet the girls were quite amusing, considering you oficially dated at least two of them throughout the semester,” He teased.

“Didn’t say I wasn’t having fun,” Winnie replied, he could pictured her smirking. “Looks like the only one who’s got no game is Canada’s Golden Boy! What’s the matter, Gilbert? No girl is worthy of your charms? Are you waiting until marriage?”

“Not quite,” He grinned. “I’ve been busy studying, that’s all.”

“I worry about you, don’t want to see you in ten years all grey and grumpy.”

“That's awfully rude, Bash is not grey and he’s ten years older than us!”

“Yeah but I’ve heard that if you don’t have sex you die faster.”

“That’s the biggest slander I’ve ever heard. Don’t try to scare the future Doctor with fake news!”

“Well, future Doctor, I just want to make sure you don’t end up as the spinster of our group. Not that is bad, if you want to be alone that’s cool, but please don’t be a bitter one, you know, like those old librarians?”

“So what should I be then, the old spinster that invites you to have tea every sunday?”

“Yeah, you could even own a coffee shop- oh wait, you do!”

“Rude,” Gilbert frowned, but he was still smiling. “The Orchard is not a coffee shop, just so you know.“

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Winnie chuckled. “See you tomorrow?”

“Totally.”

“Got it!”

___________________

The girls straightened up at Cole’s announcement, all of them excited.

“And?” Diana urged him.

“Good news or bad news?”

“Bad news,” Cole looked up. “He posted this five hours ago…”

He handed the phone to Diana, then she gave it to Anne, there she read the most recent post on his page:

‘Someone stole my phone and wallet, please block the number in the meantime. If you need me you can send a private message here.’

“Could’ve been worse,” Anne gave the phone back to Ruby so she could read what it said.

Ruby sighed heavily.

“He doesn’t hate me.”

“Of course not, you’re a ray of freaking sunshine,” Josie retorted.

“I still think this is god giving you the opportunity to reconsider,” Cole replied. “Don’t commit, Ruby, you’re too young to get married–”

“She won’t get married!” Diana slapped his arm, then hesitated. “Well, at least not anytime soon... right, Ruby?”

“It’s late, children,” Marilla peeked through the door. “You can have dinner here if you want, we have room for all of you, but if you don’t then I suggest you to say your goodbyes now...”

“Thank you Marilla,” Anne smiled. “They’ll be on their way.”

“You can stay the night if you want as well,” Marilla added. “Matthew and I missed the fuss you kids make around the house whenever Anne invites you.”

“That’s so kind, thank you,” Ruby beamed.

Marilla left and Anne turned to look at the group.

“So any of you want to stay?”

“You know I do,” Cole smirked.

“Same,” Josie admitted. “My mom's being a pain right now: ‘Are you dating someone, love?’ ‘Will you ever give me grandchildren?’”

“I’d like to stay too,” Ruby said, deep in thought. “I know he’s not avoiding me, but I really don’t want to sleep alone tonight…”

“You have two younger sisters, Ruby.”

“It’s not the same!”

“See?” Cole said. “Ruby gets it!”

“I’ll have to pass,” Diana sighed. “My dad needs the car tomorrow morning, last minute shopping.”

“We still have next week,” Anne assured her with a small smile.

Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @fuckthisshitimoutyall @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​​ @little-boats-on-a-lake

[erin-hart]

Ok! Starting today all MN residents age 16+ are eligible for the vaccine. I thought I’d make a post with tips I’ve seen:

1.) Appointments seem to be released at Midnight or early morning. Have insurance ready, but insurance is not required. Set alarm if you need to.

2.) Check this website regularly. They scan pharmacies continuously. https://www.vaccinespotter.org/MN/

3.) Refresh button is your friend

4.) Walmart usually releases midnight. A hack is to change time zones to see open appointments.

5.) CVS has 16+ now. It releases midnight and around 6am. A hack is to use your phone. Select a different state (North Dakota, etc), it will prompt you and you choose MN, then either do “use my location” or search cities (not as much luck with zip codes). Keep typing cities or refreshing the search. Keep waiting in the waiting room until it gives your spot. As of now...it will schedule you for both doses.

6.) Midday you might find better luck at Cub, HyVee or Sams Club

7.) Out of metro the best are Thrifty White, Coborns, Guidepoint, Centra Care

8.) J&J vaccine is harder to find. Might have to be willing to drive.

9.) Keep trying to schedule through your MyChart if you are registered at a doctors office

10.) Check junk mail for emails from vaccine connector or state

11.) Try and show up at pharmacies end of day and see if there are “waste doses”

12.) Ask the vaccine hunter volunteers on FBfor help if you are really struggling and provide your information.

Also. If you are registered on the MN vaccine connector and have received your shots (which is awesome btw), would you please take a couple of minutes to call and get your name removed to free up some spots for the masses who are trying to book a spot? 1-833-431-2053

**Do not give up hope or get discouraged! You will find one soon! Try and try again.

[clatterbane]

Just got back a while ago from my first trip out on the bus since I came home! And of course the first as a wheelchair user. (The first since masks became mandatory on public transport, for that matter, and that went into effect in June. 😑)

It wasn't a very long or complicated trip today, but I'm still both glad to have gotten out somewhere like a normal human being, and exhausted!

Today's main objective? The last scheduled flu shot clinic of the season at the GP's. Which is a straight shot up the road, with no bus changes or anything. (One of the reasons I chose to go back with them, actually: basic accessibility! Besides just being one of the only couple of options AFAICT where we're supposed to be in their catchment area.)

They had a pretty good socially distanced vaccination production line set up, and that went smoothly enough that we were headed out of there maybe 5 minutes after joining the (short) line. This time, I even remembered to give them the arm that I haven't primarily been sleeping on! 😊

I was also hoping to get a couple of other paperwork things taken care of by the office while I was there, but reception was completely closed today. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Guess we'll have to go back during the plague-limited specified one hour a day to get that dealt with.

I still need to show them my expired passport and hope they don't look too closely or care ID to get properly signed up for the online appointment/prescription system, and also some code for the general NHS patient account login.

I also need to hand in a form to be signed for the NHS prescription charge medical exemption card. (Which is due for renewal every 5 years, because reasons. My previous one ran out.) England is the only part of the UK which even still has the essentially copay on prescriptions at all. It's currently £9.15 per item, which doesn't sound like much to someone from the US but I'm sure can pose a hardship for a lot of people who are not eligible for various exemptions. It's thankfully not really a problem for us, but I'll be glad to get prescriptions for free again anyway.

Once you do receive an exemption certificate, you can at least get a refund for any prescription charges you've paid over the last 3 months I think month. [ETA: They're supposedly issued backdated a month from the time the application is received.] We already have one refund form to submit, for £54.90, with more due soon. 🙄 Hopefully Mr. C can take another long lunch this coming week, so we can head back to the doctor's and hopefully get that application form to them, besides trying to get those logins set up.

I was very glad to have the practical and moral support with him coming along today, btw. Hopefully I can start getting out on my own again before too long, but today I really did need the support and help! Doctors' offices are scary places, y'all--besides "just" figuring out the logistics of getting out and about in the chair.

Anyway, after getting the flu shot, we headed to the nearby Sainsbury's on foot/wheels to pick up a few things before getting back on the bus toward home. Including some late lunch for him to have at home. I also wanted to stop by their pharmacy to hand in a somewhat pressing repeat prescription I forgot to ask for last time. (More insulin needles! 😬)

It had been as long since I was in any grocery store that wasn't the small one right up the street, as since I last went out on the bus. Though I was maybe pathetically excited to stop by Sainsbury's, I managed to somewhat control the amount of stuff I grabbed. 😅 Still glad for the chance to look at and buy some useful things in person.

Also, a couple of impulse buys on the way out!

Some hot rotisserie chicken parts, because I was getting hungry and they looked good. At around eye level when I was rolling past that hot food case. 😁

The store deli is not about to guarantee that anything they're selling doesn't contain All The Allergens. But, I said fuck it. Living dangerously here!

Also, out of a machine on the way out: Milo! 🐶

A new friend. Actually, the main reason I even paused to look at the capsule machines today was because I had found doggies in little tins there before. Not disappointed this time! 😁 This one is flocked for a slightly fuzzy feel, which is new.

Anyway, I enjoyed getting out, even if it was for some stressful purposes. And I was glad to get home afterwards. Surprisingly tiring, though I probably shouldn't be that surprised by now.

[anger----issues]

Okay so, last Thursday I had to leave school because of an anxiety attack, I have a certain classmate who triggers me now apparently (verbally abusive classmate I mentioned in the last ask)

We had a big psychology project where we had to do surveys, write reports and all kinds of fancy stuff, it was super exciting. Until my classmate decided, even after I had done the majority of the work since she had been sleeping away 2 days of the 4 days we had to do the project, that she’d blame everything on me, it was my fault we were behind, my fault there were flaws in the data, my fault that the other’s work were better than ours, my fault that our schedules didn’t match ect. ect...

And first I was just annoyed considering we were behind because she just really loves smoking weed and being asleep all day because of it. But then it really started to get to me, I knew it wasn’t my fault, but it was the repetition, the guilt-tripping, and constantly telling me that even though I worked really hard, it just wasn’t good enough for her, that really started to hit me.

So for 3 days I stayed home, I tried going some of the days, but as soon as I got myself out of bed and thought about school, it felt hard to breathe.. then I went that Thursday, saw my classmate, and she began her criticizing again... and I just had to get out. I went to the library when I got off the train bc it was too early for me to be home and I didn’t want my mom to question me, so I thought “might as well do some of that homework for tomorrow” I pulled up the assignment and the anxiety was back, my entire body was filled with fear and my head was a mess..

So Friday I get an appointment with my doctor, I tell him that I think school might be stressing me out, and I let him know that I won’t be starting up with a new psychiatrist before in March (finally got new psychiatrist btw yaay), so he tries calling her to see if she has an earlier appointment, sadly she doesn’t take phone calls on fridays, so my doctors tells me that he will call me if he hears anything. Two hours later I get a call from my doctor, and apparently he got in contact with my psychiatrist who gave him permission to prescribe me medication.

So I get to the doctor again, blood tests, urine test, heart electrolytes test?? (Urine test part was super awkward bc I had my blood test taken in a room with a very cute person and the nurse handed me a cup and asked if I could pee and I was like “uhh idk but I’ll try”, but me and the cute person both had to wait for the heart test thingie and we sat next to eachother and I was just thinking “how tf am I supposed to go pee in a cup when this really attractive person knows I’m about to go pee in a cup”) I have a short chat with my doctor, about side effects, dosage ect. He writes my prescription, I immediately go to the pharmacy to pick it up, very nice pharmacy lady tells me more about how the pills work, the side effects I’ll definitely be feeling, how to make them less terrible ect. ect.

So very long story short, I’m now 5 days on antidepressants!

[awkwardpsyduck]

Hi! Love your writing btw Do you think you could write about Izuku, Kirishima, and all might with a s/o who has a fear of doctors/ needles and they go with them to their appointment/ shots? You don’t have to write it if you don’t want to! Lots of love🤍 ⊂((・▽・))⊃

Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoy!

Info: Gender neutral, Izuku and Kirishima aged up about 23/24, all three dating and living with their s/o (separate asks), not quite the request, but these are what came to me and hope you like!

Warning: Needle/shots, hospitals, injury, slight blood, swearing….ugh think that is all

Izuku Midoriya: Flu Shot

You had reread the paper in your hand at least three times already and as it finally sunk in you would let out a groan. Due to a virulent strain of the flu going about and at least two agencies cut to half staff because of it the Hero Commission had sent out a mandate that everyone was to get their flu vaccination by the end of the week. You understood, you really did and fully supported the idea, but why did it have to be a damn shot! Laying your head on the kitchen table your ears would pick up the sound of steps coming closer before the chair next to you was being pulled out, “So I see you got the notice too” Izuku would say with a small sigh, knowing full well you would not be happy.

There were two things about shots that got you, but you really did not count it under a fear. The first was that you could not stand the sight of a needle going into your skin be it for something to be injected or blood to be drawn, but that was easy to deal with as you just closed your eyes until it was over. IV’s were a bit more iffy, but usually the gauze over the actual spot was enough to ease you. The other part was worse and why you absolutely despised getting any vaccine from the flu shot to tetanus and that was no matter what it was you always had some sort of bad reaction. The injection site swelled up, you got a fever or even once had a rash for a week down your arm!

You had explained all this to your boyfriend once when the topic of the flu shot came up in the previous years and he understood, but now you had to do it or you would get suspended until you did according to the letter. Groaning once again into the table you would turn your head to look at him and would see that he did feel bad about it, but your jobs were too important to let something like this stop you. Taking a deep breath you would sit up and sigh, running your fingers through your hair a bit, “I’ll call work and see about taking two days off just in case and then we can go to the clinic in the morning” you reason, though your tone was a bit bitter. Izuku would give you a soft smile, proud of you of course, and would stand to go and grab his own phone, pressing a kiss to your temple as he moved past, “I’ll see about open times” he assure you and much to your dismay it would seem as if time would fly past till your appointments.

You would be fidgeting as the time came, but your boyfriend would give your hand a strong squeeze to assure you he was right there before you head to the counter to sign in. The wait not too long at least you would both head back once called, though were in separate rooms, and went through the usual steps. As it came time you would eye the nurse and the needle, looking away when she uncapped it, and it was over with a pinch. Waiting a few minutes in case of any sudden reaction you were relieved that nothing like that happened, but you were certain you were not home free. Thanking her of course and taking the paperwork you would be out once allowed, grabbing Izuku’s hand soon as you spotted him.

Of course he would let you tug him out, softening a bit as you seemed to shudder it off once outside, “I am proud of you, y/n” he tell you, meaning it of course, but as you decided to get lunch he could see the truth in what you had explained. About two hours later he could see you trembling for a different reason and would press a hand to your forehead, “Fever, come on let’s get you home” Worry creeping into him he would make sure you got home safely and settled on the couch once in some cool comfy clothing. Sitting next to you he would soon be checking you with the thermometer and was relieved your temperature was not too high. He would have to keep an eye on you though and pressing a soft kiss to your lips did not miss your eyes brightening when he told you he had taken off from work as well, just in case.

Eijiro Kirishima: Stitches

How you had ever met Eijiro was still fairly a mystery to you even, you were a civilian in every sense of the word and merely said hi when he had come through the restaurant you had been working at, at the time with FatGum and Tamaki…that was three years ago now and you really could not be happier. He was a wonderful boyfriend and you were completely in love, in fact you were just going to clean up the now dead flowers he had gotten you last week because you were having a bad day. Unfortunately for you that would be the cause of you needing to go to the emergency room for the first time in your life.

You honestly were not sure what happened, you picked the vase up off the bookshelf in the living room, turned around and took a step when you would find yourself falling. Did you trip over the rug you had to cover the area beneath the coffee table? Did you trip over the table? It really did not matter as next thing you really recall was pushing yourself up and feeling something warm down your arm, getting dizzy as you saw it was blood and realizing the vase had shattered. What should you do? Luckily someone else was able to answer that question for you.

Eijiro had heard the crash as he had just been stepping out of the shower and was to the living room at full speed. Body hardening in case of an intruder as one hand held up the towel around his hips. Spotting you on the ground he would relax his quirk, but was seeing the blood quickly, “Y/n! Hang on babe, I got you” he say, in front of you quickly and you would hear fabric ripping before realizing he was wrapping strips of towel around the wound till the bleeding was staunched. “Eiji?” you murmur, confused as you could feel the pain starting to set in and feeling him kiss your head, “Just keep your arm up to your shoulder, I will be right back” being what he said in return, making sure you did as he said before he was up.

Moving quick as he could he would be dressed and had his wallet, phone and keys in his cargo pockets before he was back to you. Scooping you up as if you were a feather, hurrying to the car and to the hospital. As he drove you would luckily come around more instead of passing out to his relief, “I tripped” you speak first and he glance to you a moment, “It’s alright Y/n, we are almost there” he assure you, reaching to give your knee a squeeze as he pulled into the parking lot. Once parked he would be around to get you, carrying you inside and relieved when you were taken right back to be checked out. The nurses would allow him to stay and he kept close to your good side out of their way as he noticed you starting to tremble and not from cold or pain.

“Eiji, I’m scared” you would admit quietly as a suture kit was brought out and he would soften. Hand turning your cheek to face him as the other kept your good hand, “Hey, like I said, I got you babe. Just focus on me” he murmur, pressing your foreheads together as you would get five neat stitches up your arm, “I am just glad I was home” you hear even quieter, feeling his own hand shaking and you just hold him tighter as you whisper, “My hero”

All Might: Hospital

All For One….that terrible monster of a villain had been taken down, but at what cost? You had been shaking and on the edge of your seat as you watched the news unfold, your boyfriend of course arriving to fight and you could just see how hard it was. He very nearly got killed and you just knew he had used the last of his power to end it all. And for that moment it was over. Your view blocked as the news crews were pushed back and your heart was hammering more in your chest.

You had nearly been going crazy until Grand Torino would call you several hours later to tell you his condition, stable, but battered and where he was. You could visit him any time he assured you and it would make you freeze, the one place you avoided was hospitals. The older man knew this, your boyfriend and all of your friends knew this, but you could feel your soul sparking as he added the words, “Toshinori needs you” before he had to hang and in truth you already knew that in your heart. You needed him too, but could you do it? You had too, for both your sakes.

It wasn’t that you disliked hospitals, no you actually adored them in the fact of just what they did in saving people, your problem was the germs. Your mother, rest her soul, had been extremely germaphobic and if it had not been for your father there to balance things you probably would have ended up the same way. Of course you still had your own issues, you could not have any dirty dishes laying around and you had a cleaning schedule, but it was different things every few days. When you went out you did usually wear a mask over your mouth and nose, having several with different patterns you could wash, but that was about the extent.

Your boyfriend knew it all from the beginning and obviously loved you completely as you had been together six years now. It was just hospitals, and nursing homes too really, they were germ central no matter how clean they were. You hated any time you had to go for a checkup or were so sick you needed medicine, it left you shaking and needing at least two showers, but you had to steel yourself. You knew he would be there a while and damn it you needed to see yourself he was alive! So you would prepare as best you could. Taking an immune system booster with a glass of orange juice you would put on the mask he got you for your birthday and would head there.

By the time you arrived you would be trembling, your damn mind noting every sick person you passed as you headed up to the correct room, and it was only the thought of him waiting that was keeping you from a panic attack. Reaching the door you would knock, a new shudder running through you as you were told to come in, relief. It was his voice 100% and your eyes were tearing as you opened the door. You could see the surprise on his face as you took him in, just staring as you heard his happy shock, “Y/n? Sweetheart….” And he was reaching out his one hand to you, urging you to come to him and you would cross the room, fingers  wrapping around his own as you forget your fear for a moment. Pulling down the mask to press a deep kiss to his lips, just needing to feel him as he did you and almost missing it as he whispered, thank you.

[elitemeowmix]

Medical rant ahead because the “headache department” at my hospital is an absolute headache, an essay by Me

So I’ve been getting injections for daily migraines, and they’ve had some not great side effects:

godawful neuropathy/sensory issues.  If I wear certain pieces of clothing/come into contact with certain fabrics, it feels like my body is on fire/itching/just generally painful (and sometimes it even occurs when I’m not wearing anything, so that’s fun).  I’ve experienced this before because of my fibromyalgia, but never this frequently (it’s daily) and never at this severity (it’s absolutely intolerable, I feel like I need to peel off my skin).  So, understandably, my wardrobe has been dramatically reduced because most of my clothes (including all of my socks, except fuzzy bedtime socks, which is A Look™ in public lol) are having this effect.  One way it’s impacting me is that I can’t wear any gloves, and it’s about to be winter which means it’s hella cold out already, and my hands lose a lot of mobility in the cold so I use gloves at warmer temperatures than most people (yay fibromyalgia).  I’ve also become sensitive to my sheets/towels/blankets so that’s fun and not inconvenient at all *sarcasm*

I’ve also had a completely nonexistent libido.  Which, like, okay theoretically isn’t the worst side effect in the world. But (without going into all the details) this is very unusual for me -- I’ve literally never lost my sex drive no matter how stressed/depressed I’ve been, and only one oral birth control has ever even dampened my libido.  I’ve never had it be nonexistent.  Ever since I went through puberty, it’s been sky high and super distracting (e.g. an orgasm away keeps the distraction at bay).  So needless to say, I’m not feeling like myself at all, because I’ve known and dealt with my high-libido self since I was in 5th grade.  At first I thought this was due to a recent breakup, but it’s persisted way longer than I would have expected and at a severity that I’ve never experienced from any kind of stressful live event ever.  So it seems likely to be caused by the injections because A) the timeline matches up really well and B) it would be super unusual for my birth control to out of the blue randomly cause these symptoms, since I’ve been on this one for about a year and a half now and have never experienced this side effect.

I also get these weird stomach cramps that are worst during the first week after I get the injection, so I know it’s definitely connected.  I probably wouldn’t mind if that were the only issue with the injections, because I could probably just suck it up and deal.

although the injections have reduced the severity of my daily migraines, the beneficial effects have worn off increasingly sooner with each dose.  After only a handful of injections, this current dose lasted only two weeks before I was back to my baseline.  So it’s not like it’s eliminating my migraines, and now it’s not even working as long as it should.

SO.  I did the logical thing and messaged my neurologist explaining all of the above, with some more detail here and there.  And her response to me was:

the pain/sensory stuff if probably just an allergic reaction. (That was literally the extent of her response on this.  Just one single sentence.  Which is concerning for a number of reasons, the foremost being that if this were indeed an allergic reaction, shouldn’t you be telling your patient how to manage it?! Like “hey take some benadryl” or “stop the injections immediately” but apparently the welfare of her patients isn’t a concern to her I guess?)

the decreased sex drive isn’t related

GI issues aren’t uncommon

Let’s maybe schedule an appointment to talk about whether or not you should continue these injections

I was a little peeved because I felt like she’d just brushed off my concerns (she didn’t even address the fact that my quality of life was being compromised but nbd I guess), and I felt like she wasn’t listening to me.  But I figured she was just busy and wanted to get me an answer sooner, even if it was brusque.  So this was my response:

The sensory stuff could definitely be an allergic reaction, but it seems more likely to be an amplified version of what I was already experiencing with my fibromyalgia considering that I literally already experience that symptom.  Regardless, it’s causing an unsustainable way of life, so this needs to change @soon because I’m starting to get desperate, and I’m usually a pretty patient person about crappy side effects

Hi hello so I spoke on the phone with my Ob/Gyn, and based on my medical history and the evidence at hand (e.g. the timeline), we believe that this nonexistent libido is most likely caused by the injection.  Just to give you an update.

(stopped talking about it because meh)

So I got a text reminder asking me to confirm the shipment of my next injection.  Should I cancel it?  Or should I stay on it until my next appointment?

And, kids, this is where fit hit the shan, let me tell you.  Because her response.  God, I can’t.  The audacity.  This is what she decided was an appropriate response for a CARE provider to give:

(NO acknowledgement about the quality of life/issues caused by the sensory issues.  No compassion at all)

DIRECT QUOTE: “there is no evidence in all the studies that have been done, [sic] that shows [injection name] causes decreased libido”

(skipping the GI issues again)

Are the injections helping your migraines? (I LITERALLY ANSWERED THAT IN THE FIRST MESSAGE) Because my recommendation is to stay on them until our appointment in January, and at that time we can see if a change in medications would be beneficial.

There was a point in my life where a physician’s blatant disregard of my concerns would’ve hurt, but I’m apparently past that point.  I’m just angry. Like what do you mean, “IF a change in medications would beneficial”?!  Did you not read all the ways that this is impacting me?  Did you not read the part where I need something to change soon because this neuropathic pain is making me lose my mind?  Also, where the FORK is your compassion??  A patient is having really crappy side effects, and your best answer is “see you in January”?  REALLY?!  I would honestly cry if I weren’t so mad.

Also WTF was with “there’s no evidence about” your symptom that you’ve report.  SO passive aggressive wtf.  Like bitch do you really think my body gives a flying fuck about whether or not this symptom has been “established” as an Official Symptom of this (relatively new, btw) medication?  Because the last time I checked, my body does whatever it damn well pleases and doesn’t read the literature on what it’s “supposed” to do.  I’ve had side effects from medications that less than 1% of patients on those medications experience -- and if you actually bothered to read my patient file, MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT.  Also, chronically ill bodies are often complicated??  That’s not a surprise to anyone, especially for illnesses that we don’t know a lot about, like fibromyalgia, which I have???  And NEWSFLASH EINSTEIN, individuals are *gasp* individual and - guess what - can have individual reactions to things!  What a WILD concept!  It’s almost like everyone has a unique genetic sequence.  OH WAIT.

And what really gets my goat is the fact that this is the first time she’s just blatantly ignored me/my patient history/my concerns.  At the very first visit, I told her that I had chronic fatigue.  We moved on to other topics and didn’t talk about the fatigue again.  But what did I see in the after-visit notes?  She literally wrote “fatigue appears to be from [Medication X].”  Well guess what JACKASS.  If you had BOTHERED to ask me if that were true/if I’d noticed a connection, I would’ve said absolutely no way in hell, because I started Medication X in May and I’ve been experiencing this bone-tired fatigue for YEARS (yes, years plural).  But guess what, even if you didn’t ask me that, you could’ve easily seen it in my patient profile!!  But apparently you’re an all-knowing God who is Always Right All the Time so who needs to ask patients questions or check patient histories!!

I cannot stand doctors with God complexes.  I have 0% tolerance for that.  I can’t handle these doctors who think that their MD somehow makes them Better Than You, and obviously they’re always the one who is correct, not you, because they’re the one with the degree so obviously your lived experiences are Just Plain Wrong.

If you are THAT arrogant and THAT uncompassioante (not a word but whatever), you should NOT be in a position where you’re dealing with patients’ wellbeing.  That’s not okay.  But of course, as long as we live in a society that sees becoming a doctor as prestigious/a money-maker, there are going to keep being doctors like this.  And I wish someone would just take them down a notch, because, dear god, would it kill them to actually listen to and take care of their patients???

Anywho.  That was LONG.

I hope to god no one read this entire thing, because if so, I apologize for that experience but also wow that’s serious dedication to this post (idk if I’d even read this whole thing lol).  I just needed to rant this entire thing and this is apparently my virtual diary.  And also having this all written down is going to be helpful for when my memory (inevitably) fails to remember all of these details

[bigskydreaming]

Btw, for those who’ve been asking, just a quick update on the jaw sitch:

I had that last appointment on Thursday and it went really, even surprisingly well? Like, better news than even she’d hoped for. We were crossing our fingers that the last CT scan (the one to map exact dimensions we’d need the prosthetic to be) would match up with a premade prosthetic so we wouldn’t have to wait to order a custom made and could jump straight to trying to expedite the surgery. 

Turns out I don’t actually need a prosthetic at all. The top of my jawbone, the condyle, which everyone thought was completely destroyed from all the previous scans and was part of what had to be replaced, its actually still there and largely intact. It wasn’t snapped off or eroded away like they’d been thinking, it actually just got bent enough at the top of it that somehow it slipped and got shoved up....underneath my skull, or behind my skull, I’m honestly not sure what the right word is to describe it, because of the angles/dimensions involved. The reason they could only see it with this last scan and not any of the others is this last scan like....looked through the back of my skull essentially, and showed the inside curvature of the side of the skull that’s where all the Drama is. And that’s where they saw, oh hey, he’s still got an intact condyle, its just been stuck inside/under/behind his skull this whole time instead of resting in the joint where its supposed to be and allowing for proper opening and closing. And as it got worse and worse this past year and a half, it wasn’t because I was constantly grinding down on what was left of the bone and wearing it more and more away....it was that it was actually constantly shoving up more inside my skull, day by day. So, still not fun, just a different kind of suck than they thought, lol.

I’m actually a little bit miffed by the reveal, not gonna lie, because like....it literally is EXACTLY what I’d been saying it felt like the problem was to me. For a year and a half. From the very start. From the very first time I went to the ER after it first snapped or slipped out of place or whateverthefuck, the very first doctor I met with, I literally described it as feeling like my jawbone got stuck up under or behind my skull and couldnt get loose or descend properly. And they were like nah, that’s not a thing, must be TMJ. And literally every other doctor I went to since then (including this one), I told each and every one of them the same exact thing but noooooooooo, why listen to the dude whose body it literally is lol why would he know what it feels like is the problem. Lmao. Ah well. Doesn’t change anything at this point and not worth souring my relationship with this doctor since at least she’s getting results for me and is easy enough to work with and way better than that other one I was going to before. But still. Annoying. It gives me no pleasure to be like ‘ugh I was right, I told you all’ because like, lol I don’t need the fucking ego boost, I would have much rather taken the ‘get started fixing all this a year earlier than it took to find the solution and thus spare myself a lot of time, money, aggravation and oh yeah pain’ option. BUT OH WELL.

Anyway. So this changes things a little but not a done. The general course of treatment is still the same. They still have to do the exact same surgery, only now instead of opening me up and putting in a new prosthetic joint, they’ll open me up, cut off the bottom part of my jaw so that they can then basically dig out the upper part from where its stuck behind/under/inside my skull, do something *mutters vague medical-ese in place of the details I glazed over here and didn’t totally catch look I am still very sleep deprived all the time*, then manually reset the condyle/top of the jawbone in the joint they restore via the vague medical-ese mumble mumble stuff, manually realign the whole rest of my lower jaw and then screw the bottom and top pieces of jawbone back together with like a plate or something. 

But now at least we don’t have to wait for a prosthetic, or pay for one, so that’s at least a couple thousand dollars cheaper though the rest of the surgery is still the same as before,like 20K out of pocket or thereabouts. And its always better when they can use/salvage your natural body instead of having to use prosthetics or insert foreign material - theoretically, this means I should heal faster, regain more or fuller function of my whole jaw, and there’s less risk of nerve damage since all the muscles and everything are still attached to the jaw and just unable to do their job because its literally just stuck, but again its always better if like, they don’t have to try and reattach or reintegrate muscles and all that around a brand new piece of bone or prosthetic that they place in there for the first time.

So its literally just a waiting game now? She sent off her updated notes and case file to my insurance company now to try and expedite getting a greenlight on the surgery. It only takes two weeks to book the surgery and get into an OR somewhere, and the only thing we’re waiting for now is payment, basically. As soon as I can afford the surgery, we can schedule it, and two weeks later, bam. So fingers crossed that my insurance company will approve it - she feels pretty confident they will, because she thinks she’s made more than enough argument and provided plenty of documentation to prove its an absolute medical necessity (hahahahaha just let them try and argue w/me about that, I WILL DEVOUR THEIR ENTIRE SOULS, MY JAW IS 90% UNHINGED ALREADY, IT’LL BE EASY).

So mostly its just a matter of how long it takes to get an answer from them, and if they’ll approve the whole thing or only part of it, and if the latter, how long it’ll take me to raise the rest. She said give it a week before I start calling the insurance company directly myself, to nag them, lol. But that her best guess is it’ll probably be around three weeks or so to hear back, for something like this.

So, fingers crossed that I get a quick answer and a good one in terms of paying at least most of the surgery. And then....blessed scalpel and morphine drip. *weeps in I Have Never Been So Excited To Be Cut Open On A Table Like A Fish, Seriously, What A Weird Thing To Have Be Like Christmas and My Birthday and Some Other Random Assortments of Holidays Used As An Excuse for Gift-Giving*

She’s planning on doing the surgery on a Saturday as its usually easier to book an OR on the weekend, and the surgery itself should only take a day and I shouldn’t need to stay overnight after all. BUT I still need to figure out finding some way to stay with someone for the ten days after the surgery though, which - no idea how to go about that just yet lol, working on it. But my jaw’ll have to be wired shut for the ten days post surgery, liquid diet only, so she was like “LOL yeah no, you should definitely not count on being able to talk for the first couple weeks of recovery. Or stand up really. Or like, get out of bed at all pretty much. As much as it sucks right now, its gonna suck even more then, you will definitely hate everything and it’ll hurt even more before it gets better, BUT then it’ll actually get better. Finally.” Like, I’m paraphrasing, but that was my takeaway, lol. Yay. Things to look forward, much excitement, can’t wait.

Nah but like, I will literally put up with anything at this point in order for it to be over, and after that, I shouldn’t need more than a month or two of physical therapy before I have full function of my jaw back. But she thinks it’ll be if not quite as good as new, at least close enough for there not to be much difference. She said she sees no reason for there to be any lingering or residual pain or nerve issues or vertigo once my recovery period is over, and my face should look pretty much the same as it did before all this started then. Said there’s a slight possibility, depending on certain things with how the surgery goes, that my chin might end up a little more recessed than it had been originally, but not enough that it’d be especially noticeable - if anything, it probably would only show as different from before when looked at in profile, from a side view. 

LOL, she was like, there is an additional procedure I can do right then and there while we already have you under, that’ll bring your chin forward and compensate for any differences there and its easiest to do it right at the same time as everything else. But that’s essentially just a cosmetic procedure, so your insurance likely wouldn’t pay for that. And I was like okay, well just so I know, how much is that procedure? And she’s like, oh, 8K. And I was all HAHAHAHAHAHA, doc, you funny. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m vain and shallow, but I’m cheaper and broker than I am vain and shallow, so that’s gonna be a hard pass from me. I’ll stick to just overcompensating with my wit and dazzling personality, mmkay.

LOL. Anyway, so that’s where things stand right now, just....waiting. And hoping. And crossing fingers. And trying not to fall into my usual trap of assuming this slight uptick of good or positive news means IMPENDING DOOM elsewhere. Like, there is still a slight risk of nerve damage with the surgery itself, not the potential for full face paralysis that the other doc was saying might happen, she’s not worried about that at all, but she did warn that in like 10-20% of cases with this surgery, there’s a chance of nicking a sensory nerve that means like, ending up with your face numb around the chin and above and around your mouth, where you basically can’t feel much in those areas. Sometimes that lasts for a month or two, and occasionally there are some people who never regain sensation there, but she stressed that its not a huge risk, again only 10-20% of the time, but she did want to make sure I was aware. Course, my cynical ass is like OKAY BUT YOU UNDERESTIMATE HOW MUCH THE UNIVERSE LIKES TO MAKE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE LINE UP WITH EXTREMELY LONG ODDS AND UNLIKELY POSSIBILITIES, WHY WOULD YOU TEMPT FATE WITH A DIRECT CHALLENGE LIKE THAT, DO YOU HATE ME, DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE????

LOL. Look I’m a Melodramatic Melvin, this is canon. And in the immortal words of Ugh Stiles, I’m almost to the point of no longer being able to ‘milk this anymore’ so I gotta cram my last good angsts in while I still can, y’know? Nah, but srsly, I’m gonna try and not stress about that too much because she said there’s literally nothing I or she can do to minimize that risk, it just is what it is, and the one thing I do know is that my body/brain tends to be highly suggestible and psychosomatism tends to play a huge role in my health and how well or quickly or thoroughly I bounce back from stuff. So. Trying to do the whole positive thoughts, eyes on the prize, Speak Only Good Stuff Into Existence until I’m out the other side. Like, take it for granted that the odds aren’t gonna fuck me this time so I don’t end up accidentally stressing myself into the perfect position for my body to be like Screw You Baby, One More Time.

I mean, we’ll see how well that goes, lol, but you know. Goals.