doublestandardlove

[doublestandardlove]

A friend and I were discussing what we're like when we're sick and we decided people usually fall into one of these five 'sick modes': *Everyone is probably multiple of these at different times depending on how sick they are and with what but we think most people have a mode they default to and become more often than the others*

Delicate Consumptive Victorian: you feel tragic and mournful but also beautiful in a sad way, you are in bed, sipping hot tea, others should quietly whisper about how you are too good for this world, too beautiful, too tragic... And bring you more tea

Sick Dog: you are curled up in a ball, you don't want anything, you don't need anything, but it would be nice if others could still ask you if you need anything

Sickly Child Emperor: you are dying and it's everyone else's problem, you need pillows, no! you need soup, no! You need absolute silence or you will not be the first one to die today

Plague Pit: you are curled up probably on the floor, no one touch you, no one look at you, this is between you and God and you already know He has no mercy left for you

Warrior General: you are not sick. You are in perfect health and you don't know why anyone would think otherwise. Illness is an enemy that can be intimidated and you must remain strong for your men! (You are going to pass out at the most inconvenient moment possible)

[doublestandardlove]

so this is random but if i had to be randomly plagued with this memory, so do you

in fourth grade, i really wanted to be intimidating. mind you, the only things i'd ever gotten in trouble for back then were for getting C's and D's in math and constantly sneaking books to read under my desk during class.

my target was this boy with a twin brother in the same class, but for some reason, i literally only targeted the one twin. and i was trying really hard to freak him out. like, it was a miracle I never got in trouble for saying shit like

"when you die, i'll be the only person at your funeral. because i killed you."

i probably didn't get in trouble bc he thought that i had a crush on him, but still

[doublestandardlove]

never shall i forget the day i decided that lying about watching gacha life porn was a far better alternative than my parents finding out i was binge-watching gay reddie cosplayers on youtube

[doublestandardlove]

I honestly never really got the Robert Pattinson hype, not on Twilight or in general, but after watching Mickey 17... I finally understand it. How could I have been so blind.

[doublestandardlove]

guys...

i just said something so incredibly cringe. and i don't feel bad about it 🙀

my friends just dogged on me for saying something so incredibly cringe. and i'm not beating myself up about it 🙀

do i feel a little embarrassed? yes. do i kinda wish i could take it back? also yes.

but i'm not sitting here spiraling about how dumb and cringe i am !! personal win !!

[doublestandardlove]

ok just found out the school by my house is paying $15 for stagehands ;-;

if you couldn't tell, i am falling to my knees and shaking my fists at the sky

[doublestandardlove]

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

[doublestandardlove]

question

[doublestandardlove]

complained all through my five hour shift about how tired I was and how my feet hurt

only to walk for over an hour to go on silly side quests along the boulevard my job's on

[doublestandardlove]

people who are mutuals with their irl friends on tumblr are braver than any us marine

[doublestandardlove]

sIR, IF YOU DON'T--!!

[doublestandardlove]

I wish it wasn’t a hot take that a story in which two characters of any gender prioritize their purely platonic relationship over any other romantic or sexual interests they might have is a textually queer story

[doublestandardlove]

guys i felt like such a big and strong creature lifting things during my work call🫡

i ended up asking my dad to drive me, i was six mins late but no one noticed bc due to a miscommunication they were all spread out over the campus

[doublestandardlove]

im in quite the pickle;-;

i had rehearsal today til 10pm. i didnt know that on monday, when i scheduled myself to come in for a work call tomorrow at 10am.

the problem is, i live 40 mins away from campus AND don't have a driver's license/car. so i have to take the bus. but in order to that, someone has to drive me to the bus stop. luckily, my father has agreed to take me.

it takes three hours to get to campus. 20-30 mins to get to the bus stop. That means waking up at 6-7 am.

I'm waiting for the bus to get home right now. I'll probably get there around 1-2 am.

So the question is:

i am so cooked;_;

[doublestandardlove]

ok uhh...i realized something yesterday that's actually pretty funny i'm sure i'll laugh later but

those weird moments and thoughts i've had about guys that i knew wasn't attraction but couldn't figure out just what it was?

gender envy;-;

that guy in my english class i thought was so perfect that the only way i could describe how i felt when i saw him was that I wanted to "steal his skin?" (weird ik) yep gender envy in the weirdest way

that one post about junior that people keep liking😭 yeah that's gender envy right there

it clicked for me yesterday when i couldn't stop looking at this guy at my work call. i wanted to be him so badly. everything about him just sat on him right, his clothes, his hair, his tattoos, i wanted it so badly

i also should've realized when i shortened my name to sound more androgynous and felt betrayed when anyone who knew me by that name called me my full name (once they accidentally found out ofc)

so uhm...