#i have a college degree. internship experience. work experience. but none of it is ever ���right for the position’

[broadway-and-books-love]

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[humornaut]

My Journey with Omori

Hey everyone. Rather than my usual analysis-type posts, this is going to go into my own personal experience with Omori. I've kind of wanted to do this for awhile, because I feel like I have a lot that I want to say about this game. This post is going to have major Omori spoilers. I will also be going into some criticisms of the game (though not particularly heavily). This one will be a long one.

My Background

This might not be something that people care about, but I feel it is important to start with my life situation at the time I discovered the game.

In 2020, I graduated from college with a degree in game design. If you remember 2020, you can probably guess where I'm going with this. Everyone left for spring break, and the day before we were supposed to come back, they extended break by a week. Then, at the end of that additional week, classes had gone fully remote. My three roommates at the time never really came back to campus, and I finished out the lease alone. I never got to do any kind of internship, and I didn't get a graduation ceremony. I really didn't know what I was doing with my life, and finding a job in the games industry seemed impossible. So, I made a decision to move in with my aunt and work at an insurance agency. I was states away from anyone I ever knew, working in an industry wholly unrelated to what I had just dedicated years of my life to studying, but it was a job.

I wonder a lot if this was the right call. At the time, it seemed like an obvious decision, but now, I'm even more unsure of my skills when it comes to breaking into the games industry, and working 40+ hours a week can really sap your motivation when it comes to personal projects.

As the world opened back up, I started hearing from all my friends less and less, and life really started getting monotonous. Living alone is expensive, and I'm not good at opening up to new people.

Last November, by chance, a comic by twitter user Shrimperini appeared on my feed (it's still the pinned tweet on her account if you want to see!). One thing led to another, I saw some more positive reviews of the game, and I ended up picking the game up on Switch when I saw at on sale at a Best Buy.

Now, anyone that knows me could tell you, this isn't the type of game I usually play. I've always gravitated towards things like strategy games or rogue-likes. I only really stray from that in a few cases, whether it's to play a game with my friends, or just a game that I've had a long-standing connection with, like Pokémon. I did play Undertale and Deltarune (and loved them!), but overall, this type of game was not one that I typically went out of my way to play.

Also important: I've never interacted with any fandom in the way that I do with Omori. You can trawl through my Twitter, you won't find much of me talking about ships or obsessing over details until I started talking about Omori. All this is to say: Omori was a bit of a first for me on a few different levels. So, let's get into my actual journey with the game.

The First Playthrough: The Sunny Route

I unfortunately already knew a few details about the game going into things, but nothing that was too big of a spoiler. Something that I think gets overlooked is how great Omori's prologue is. In my opinion, the first night in Headspace is the best night in Headspace, bar none. It perfectly sets you up for what the game's going to be about, and I want to talk more about that later, because I feel that it really shines on later playthroughs.

Based on what I said about my background, you can probably guess what I'm going to say. Sunny's story and personality resonated heavily with me. At school, I was always the quiet one, just kind of following what my friends wanted to do until I started coming out of my shell a bit later on. Faraway is very similar to the town and suburb that I grew up in, and I know that many people feel the same way. Walking around Faraway felt like walking around my own home town today, years after almost everyone I knew back then has moved out and started their own lives. I mean this literally, as well, since I started playing this game right around American Thanksgiving, so I actually was back in my home town. It's nostalgic in a way, and I think that that is a major strength of the game.

I also do want to say, that while a Kel/Sunny comic is what introduced me to the game, I mostly assumed that it wasn't actually a canon ship. What I didn't expect was for the game to actually depict a close male relationship that does border on romantic in its presentation, which made those opening transition scenes of Sunny and Basil so interesting (as well as Basil indirectly calling Omori cute during the flower meaning segment), though I do want to talk a little bit more about that later.

From there, I feel that my experience was a lot like most people's first time with the game. I got to experience Faraway, then tried to rush through Night 2 of Headspace without paying much attention, so that I could get back to the real world plot. I didn't pay much attention during Sweetheart's Castle, and it's already-commented-on gameplay drag issues felt exacerbated by the fact that I just wanted to get on with it.

Real world day 2 happens, I got to meet Hero in the real world, Basil gets pushed into the lake, etc, etc. The shroud has started to lift on what's actually going on here. The North Lake segment got me ready to figure out what was actually going on, but first: Last Resort and Humphrey.

It was around this time that I began wondering if there actually was any kind of gay subtext actually going on. Of course, I had seen the Lost Library entry for the ride home from the beach, but as I descended into Sunny's subconscious, the way that the game started talking about Basil took on a much different tone. I got to the Branch Coral, and listened to it talk about how Sunny and Basil are connected by a "string of fate". This immediately set off some alarm bells in my head. A lot of debate has been had about this line, but for me personally, even if a string of fate isn't always romantic imagery, it certainly is most of the time. Seeing it written in the game (as something that Sunny's subconscious is saying, no less) completely had me reconsidering if there was a connection, which I hadn't really thought about since Basil's disappearance. I thought about the photo album, and how well Basil is treated in Headspace, and it just had me thinking.

I got through Humphrey, finished up the side quests that I still had, and it was time to start Black Space. Prior to that, however, Stranger lead me through Basil's garden once again, going over the flower meanings. I took note about how the meaning of sunflowers, as it was the first time I made the connection about Sunny's name and Basil's meaning for them (plus him literally always facing Sunny in several scenes lol). And then there was what Basil said about white tulips.

Being honest, it was difficult for me to interpret Basil as not being in love with Sunny after that, and Stranger's dialogue in some of the Black Space rooms really cemented that for me.

Black Space as a whole left me extremely intrigued as to what the plan was. The way it ended really left me in suspense for what was really going on. How did it all relate to what happened to Mari? I had already assumed at this point that she had taken her own life, due to some of the imagery. But what else was going on here? I didn't exactly think the game was going to veer back from being a horror title to turn into some kind of dating sim, but it was clear to me that Basil was involved with some other secret.

In a reversal of what I had expected of the game up until this point, I found it difficult to care about the real world plot of the game during day 3. It didn't help that it felt like a rushed resolution of the Aubrey plot, and I felt like I was simply going through the motions. I still have no idea how I'm supposed to interpret the key in the treehouse and how it got there, and it felt a little aggravating that plans were being made between Aubrey and Hero to include the hooligans next time, while Basil himself was still locked in his room.

So then, the truth sequence. It completely blew away my expectations for what the game was saying, and recontextualized so much of what came before it. Sunny had done something awful by accident, and Basil had done something awful to protect him. That last "Do you want to save Basil?" really hit me hard. I hadn't felt so part of the game until this moment. It was like I was Sunny, and I was mulling over whether or not I forgive Basil for the horrible situation his actions put us both in. The stakes are high, because it's clear that something bad will happen to Basil if I don't. I didn't actually know it at the time, but this is the first time you can actually choose not to save Basil. It's emotional.

And the fight. The way the game creates confusion as to what is actually going on between Sunny and Basil during it by using vague wording and hallucinations. Basil's desperation and the way his desire to protect Sunny as his "perfect" best friend come together, leading to the fight.

Memory Lane happens, and I honestly didn't think much of it at the time. It was cool to see some of the memories in better detail, but it wasn't as emotional to me as what came before or what will come after.

I would be remiss to not include that we learn that it was actually Sunny that had a crush on Aubrey, and not the other way around. I had already suspected this, based on Aubrey not being close to him in the photo album, along with the Lost Library memory, but I remember thinking it was an interesting choice to have Basil be the one to call it out.

I finished up the game, and it impacted me a whole lot. I wasn't planning on playing the other route at first, as I heard that it was just Headspace and mostly unchanged, and I felt satisfied with the story that I got. I walked away with the understanding that pre-canon, Basil had feelings for Sunny that he likely didn't understand, while Sunny had a crush on Aubrey that he was never bold enough to pursue. How they felt at the time the game actually took place is irrelevant to the story being told, outside of us understanding that these are relatable individuals, and I walked away alright with that.

Of course, after that initial wave of emotions from the ending subsided, I did have some criticisms. Sunny's actual friendship with Aubrey felt underdeveloped, as her behavior both in Headspace and the real world differ so heavily from how she behaves in the glimpses we see of the past. Unlike Sunny's relationships with the others, there's no real unique identifiers other than Sunny's crush. While I would not have wanted the only living female character in the main cast to have been treated as a love interest in both the real world and dream world, it would have been nice if the game gave us a little more than just the swing set conversations, like how we get Kel talking about their late night trips to Hobbeez. In addition, while I understood on a base level that whether or not Basil and Sunny are forgiven didn't really matter to the story being told, not seeing it happen left me feeling a tad empty.

Finally, I felt extremely dissatisfied with Headspace. On a superficial level, I could see that many of the things in Headspace were based on things from the real world, it didn't really feel like it had all that much significance, and the knowledge that it would be more of the same in the other route kept me from playing it. I occasionally visited the subreddit, read a few post-canon fics (Bask in the Sun by Lemari and They say Flowers are Meant to be Sunkissed by Witherdahlia being highlights with very similar concepts), and slowly immersed myself in the Twitter community.

Of course, as time went by, I started making my own interpretations about the game. I got very attached to Sunflower, as I felt the fics were the most interesting to read, and I already held the interpretation that Basil had those feelings for Sunny, even if I didn't think it even mattered if Sunny reciprocated (though I did like talking about their dynamic a lot). In February, Sunflower week happened, and I randomly happened across a tweet that pointed out how Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake in Headspace, with that being relevant due to Basil's birthday being one in which a strawberry cake appears. This blew my mind a little bit, and I made the decision to go back and play the Hikikomori route.

The Second Playthrough: The Hikikomori Route

What I had previously assumed would be a slog through things that I had already done before turned out to be far more interesting. Without the desire to get back to the real world plot hanging over me, I found myself paying a lot more attention to the things that were happening in Headspace. Playing the prologue again was amazing, because I was taken aback by how it practically parallels the entirety of the Sunny route, right down to having to retrieve a stolen item and receiving an eyepatch after the boss fight. Some day, I might break that down further, because it's so interesting. But not today.

Pyrefly Forest and Sweetheart's Castle were much more bearable this time around, because I was paying attention to the little references to Basil and Sunny's friendship in Pyrefly, and the ways Sweetheart's Castle represented a candied-up version of the way that Sunny interprets the concept of "home". This time through Headspace, I saw the very subtle ways that Basil's thoughts "follow Sunny into his dreams". And then, rather than Mari leading you through North Lake, it's Kel. Stranger no longer tells us what Basil thought about white tulips and Sunny, but this time in Black Space, I noticed the implications that Sunny would open up to Basil about his trauma coming from the Lake Incident. It ends with Omori catching Basil in a bridal carry before returning his flower crown.

Whereas the Sunny route was this heart wrenching tale about forgiveness and guilt, and overcoming your fears for others, and how ignorance hurts those you care about the most, the Hikikomori route functioned almost as this deep dive into Sunny's subconscious. The fact that I was playing through pretty much the exact same stuff again but with a completely different perspective kind of blew my mind, and I wonder if this was intentional.

This is all to say that it was around this time that I was once again asking myself the question of if Sunny's feelings for Basil (at least pre-canon) were entirely platonic. Especially as I played the Basil Rush, with its new Tag Photos and Release Energy, I wondered if the game was actually trying to imply a romantic connection. And if it was, why? What purpose would it serve in the narrative for these feelings to exist? How does it relate to Sunny's crush on Aubrey, which surely must've existed in the story for a reason? And how does it all relate to the litany of things Sunny things about in regards to romance?

From a narrative perspective, I could reason that Sunny and Basil having feelings for each other that they could never healthily explore injects further tragedy into the day of the incident and Sunny locking himself away. It provides a context for Sunny's focus on "saving" Basil, both in Headspace and the real world. Basil is undeniably linked to photos and flowers, which are two huge symbols that appear throughout Sunny's mind.

Everything else is stuff I've already spoken about before. The way Sunny treated Aubrey parallels how he treated Basil, and via both things like his fear of spiders, and the way all the foods Sunny appears to know information on how to prepare being associated with Basil, his dynamic with Basil mirrors the way Sunny thinks of Hero and Mari's relationship during Memory Lane.

Playing through the Hikikomori route completely changed the way that I thought about Omori. It was no longer just the story of Sunny accepting his role in his sister's death, I was also now considering the possibility that the game did have a romantic subtext between its two deuteragonists, and thinking about the repercussions of such an idea.

As I completed everything that there was to do in the Hikikomori route, I was immediately taken in with the idea of replaying the Sunny route, with all the knowledge I now had from my previous experiences. First, let me say: Everything that I assumed about playing through Headspace a second time and was luckily wrong about, actually applied on my third run. I did not enjoy playing through Headspace on my third run through, and it will likely be awhile before I do so again.

However, I did start to get an appreciation for details that I missed in my first run in Faraway. Basil's little mannerisms during cutscenes, such as looking to Sunny before responding to Kel's insistence that they were all still friends, as well as the repetition of Sunny backing away from his friends' pain due to his subconscious guilt and fear of facing it, before the final payoff of Sunny choosing to walk back into the center of the room on his own accord during the confrontation with Basil. During Memory Lane, I took note that in the Treehouse Memory, Sunny asked to see one of Basil's pictures that had nothing to do with Aubrey, when previously he only asked to look at pictures of her. There are three different instances in which the player is reminded that Hero and Mari's relationship specifically is one in which they cook for each other specifically, and this information was now recontextualized with the knowledge that Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake, owns a book about tofu (which he hates), and that's not even getting into all the stuff about smoothies in Headspace. Where Aubrey saying that Sunny "would listen to her talk to hours" was once a confirmation that Aubrey and Sunny did have any kind of dynamic at all, I now saw it as a recontextualization of how we were told Sunny interacted with Basil. (also, the "truth" being hidden in the toy chest, which is itself hidden in the closet was certainly a choice /j)

What was the point of all this?

Frankly, it's starting to feel like I'm running out of things to say about Omori. With every post I've made on here and Twitter, there's less things for me to extrapolate from Omori's storytelling, and it's unlikely that we will ever get any more added on to canon. I've grown to love this community, and I think it's so interesting when I look back at how I interpreted the game back in November when I first discovered it, and today. I hope that that will become evident with the mod that I am working on, Senesce.

Obviously, everyone has their own ideas when it comes to what Omori is trying to imply with its characters. Accepting Sunflower as "canon" (in the sense that those feelings do exist in some form) has deepened my love of the game and characters, and I love that other people can have entirely different interpretations and still be just as satisfied with the game! Even if it was all unintentional, I cannot deny that it has lit a fire under me when it comes to game writing.

I desperately want to create a game that has someone at home obsessing over the smallest details to extract meaning in the way I have for Omori. Flawed as it may be, it's special to me, and I'm glad I played it. Thanks for listening to me ramble about it!

[feminisedlad]

How might one get into "reading for a living" because that's a dream job

it is not a dream job, its called publishing and i make less than 40k a year LOL.

to be less arch, im an editor, and i work in editorial which is the 'flashy' department (lmao), but it's a pretty stressful job. obviously it's one i enjoy because no one would stay in the industry unless they got some reward for it. but still. i say 'reading books' is my job but thats probably only like 40% of it. a lot of my day to day work involves nagging people for deadlines, having meetings abt whether XYZ feature will cost extra, researching marketing trends, etc. YMMV if you work as a book designer or some other dept, i know they have different rules. this isnt to bitch but i think publishing has REALLY good PR among english majors and these are things i wish someone had told me before i sunk money into a publishing degree. BTW: dont get a publishing degree. experience > MA in publishing

so like, i cant in good conscience recommend the industry -- its sort of like going to grad school except with worse pay (the phd candidate gets a stipend; the unpaid intern does not.) but if you already have prion disease and you want to go into publishing, heres what i got

publishing advice below:

first things first, you need book experience. you can get this through the obvious ways (working on ur college lit mag, unpaid internships, copyediting freelance work) but i feel like that prob goes without saying. so what ill say is: if none of those options work, you could always work at a bookstore. lots of the editors i work with actually got their start by saying in the interview, "i worked at barnes and noble and noticed that [category] sells well. i love noticing which books resonate with people" or what have you

i will say that i work in nonfiction publishing, which has some differences from like, editing queer YA fiction. one of those jobs is more competitive than the other. and the industry standards are pretty toxic (if your author misses his deadline and sends the manuscript at 6pm, tough shit, you have to work late to make sure the book doesn't miss its pub date. if you're not thinking about all your books constantly, you must not really care. etc.)

that said one of the best things i can recommend is looking into publishing jobs in different departments. most people are competing for editorial department jobs (things like acquiring and signing books, and being the main point of contact for an author.) but if your passion mostly lies in editing or making things pristine, managing editorial departments often hire production editors who still read through all the books, but their day to day work is more like proofreading, checking barcodes, and other printing related tasks.

theres also finance. finance publishing jobs are never anyones first choice, but on the plus side, you wont have to tell the author why his advance is late. thats the acquiring editor's job. and also lots of people pivot to editorial after they have some years doing finance, design, production, etc.

i will say there are way more remote publishing jobs now than ever. theyre all super competitive but you should apply anyway. if youre entry level, look for "editorial assistant" type roles. some of these actually pay really well: to give an example, harvard hires copyeditors and editorial assistants at a rate which is more than my yearly salary. i mean, its harvard. you gotta look around. but there are more options besides the big 5 publishers. academic publishing is its own field! work at your favorite journal/database! work at JSTOR or wiley!

i dont think theres anything else i would add, other than just random shit talking abt industry standards and quirks of the industry. i dont want to sound whiny because i realize im lucky to be working in my field -- but, i think people oversell publishing as one of "the only career options for english majors."

to be totally honest, most people could make double or triple my salary from being a project manager or corporate editor. so if you enjoy reading and editing, there are better options to you than trade publishing. if you enjoy the act of connecting with authors and making their vision a reality, you might enjoy publishing. or you might not. idk!

[carmenized-onions]

hi! this isn't related to chicago's kindest (which is amazing btw, can't wait to read ch. 6) but i saw that you're in film/tv and i'm wondering how that's going for you!! i've always been passionate about film but i'm not currently pursuing it in school, so i wanted to know what you're currently doing with that (if you're comfortable sharing) or if you can give any insight to people looking into going to school for that industry!!

Oh my lovely lovely summer child.

I'm gonna tell you a bunch of shit. And you're gonna do me a favour, you're gonna listen to none of it. You're going to completely ignore any advice anyone gives you, and you're gonna do what the fuck YOU wanna do. Not everything has panned out perfect for me, but I will never ever ever regret pursuing film, and I have every intention of coming back to it on an actual career stand point.

Right now, I'm not in film or tv (career wise. I stay fuckin' writing my scripts tho, it's vv important to do that on the side). Alas. Such is life. I do admin. Cute lil' desk job. I like it. The people are nice, as are the hours, as is the idea of consistent cash flow.

Film for a lot of people is either gig based or teetering on being laid off if you've got a permanent position or a union job that, if you're being honest with yourself, you are scared it's gonna become dead end. That's right out of school, at least. That's probably gonna be like, the first 5-10 years. I'm only on year 2. It's fucking hell. It goes by slow and you feel like everyone is succeeding more than you. I want you to know, they're not. You're not falling behind-- My mentor, a prolific director/writer (like worked with Netflix and shit) said so, so it's not just me saying so.

We're amid strikes and union busting and revolutions-- It's so complicated, rn. And honestly, I got my degree in the pandemic-- The entire industry is absolutely still feeling the effects of that. I'd also add here, while I think my information is vague enough to go for all of North America-- I am Canadian. So if you live in a major U.S city like Chicagooooo or New York or Los Angeles-- You're going to have a radically different experience than I am in Toronto.

If you feel comfy DMing me, we can chat more about your interests! I love film, I love to write-- I love to direct. That's what I did in school, and I'll be damned if I don't do that shit again. But those things do take time to be allowed to do professionally.

The best advice I can give you: When you're in school-- Socialize. Do your best on student films, because if you beef it it goes around FAST. I had a fantastic reputation in Film College ngl, and it served me extremely well. Keep up your connections.

Get a good consistent job that gives you a schedule you can work with, then work on your own film shit on the side. Get weird. Stay learning. I'm gonna start going to local improv because that's what all the writer's i've known do. And they have careers now. So. Yknow.

Things I wish I did different:

I fucking hate applying to festivals, but you have to do it, i'm so sorry.

Every. Summer. Apply for an internship. Any internship. Any film internship, rather.

You will be okay if you study a little bit less and spend time with your peers a little bit more. That didn't neccessarily impact where I am now-- But it's just something that looking back i'm like... I didn't need to take these notes... I shoulda went to that party my friends begged me to join.

And if you want bluntness? My classmates who took production management/producer courses? They're all the ones with consistent film jobs now. But like. Again. Do what the fuck YOU want. Don't follow the money, it won't end up feeding you.

This was a lot, but again, feel free to DM me if you want even more deranged ramblings. I'm happy to go into more personal detail-- It's honestly vv important that you go to a film school that's actually fuckin' WORTH SOMETHING-- Because a lot of them are snake oil. I love/hate my College tho. Love them because I learned more than I would anywhere else. Hate them because that was psychological torture everyday I think I had a panic attack like 3 times a week.

LOVE YOU HOPE THIS WAS USEFUL GOOD LUCK BABY!!!

[wmsvibe]

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG FUTURES

disclaimer - this is just my opinion obviously none of this is canon :)

Marinette - Ya’ll already know this girl went on to build herself an entire fucking fashion empire. After defeating hawkmoth and getting with Adrien she goes off to fashion uni and later builds a company from the ground up. Her and adrien get married and have 3 kids. She travels quite a bit for work but it’s cool because that means her and adrien get to visit their friends more often and the kids get to experience all different cultures.

Adrien - After defeating hawkmoth he gets with Mari and realised that he doesn’t have to do shit for his dad anymore. He goes to uni and gets a degree in science-y stuff (i feel like this boy is probably really nerdy we just don’t talk about it). He becomes a researcher for science-y stuff but when he and Mari have their first kid he becomes a stay-at-home dad.

Alya - Once again, we all know this girl is gonna become a reporter. She goes to uni, gets a degree in journalism, and then moves to New York with Nino (her fiancé of 2 years). She becomes a top notch reporter in New York and eventually her and Nino settle down, move back to Paris, and have 2 kids. Obvi she stays in contact with Mari and they meet up whenever they can.

Nino - Mans becomes a Dj. He doesn’t go to uni unlike his friends he in fact gets a internship at a record label company (basically like becca in pitch perfect). When he and Alya move to New York he works in clubs doing Dj shit and he works gigs all over New York.

Luka - Obviously Luka becomes a musician. He starts up a rock band and he hits it big at 19. He never goes to uni and instead chooses to go on tour with the band and they basically become mega famous. He is still in contact with Mari and they meet up whenever they’re in the same country. He gets married in his 30’s to a girl he met on the road. They adopt 2 kids.

Chloe - My girl Chloe finally gets over herself at age like 17. She realises that she’s a bitch and she changes her ways. Her and Sabrina fell out ages ago but she attempts to rekindle their friendship after she sorts her own shit out. She goes to therapy for a lil bit to help her sort out her need to be adored by everyone cause of her parents fucked up marriage. She comes back stronger than ever and she goes on to Uni to get a business degree. She starts off as an assistant at a big company but she slowly works herself up the ladder and becomes CEO at 32. She’s proud of herself. She gets herself a gentle giant of a boyfriend who supports her through her tantrums. They never get married.

Sabrina - Sabrina finally ditched Chloe at 16. She realises her worth and she grows up. She goes to uni and gets a degree in law. She becomes a defence attorney and slowly but surely rekindles her relationship with Chloe. They never go back to being as close as they were. But they keep in contact and meet up for coffee whenever ever they’re free. She lives the single pringle life for a while but eventually settles down with the barista she gets coffee from every morning. They have 1 kid.

Kagami - Kagami is kinda tricky because I can honestly see her becoming an amazing professional fencer and shit but idk whether or not I want her to drop her mother like Adrien did with his dad. If she were to be a fencing champion I imagine she would do it for herself and that she would enjoy it. Her and Adrien would see each other from time to time for a friendly fencing match, and sometimes she would meet up with Adrien and Marinette for coffee but apart from that she wouldn’t really see anyone else much. She accidentally falls in love with her rival and they have an enemies to lovers romance that ends in them married.

Max - He gets a scholarship to a really smart school and becomes a robotics engineer. He sees his mum whenever she’s back from outer space and he stays in contact with Kim and Alix. He never marries cause my mans is aro/ace.

Kim - He gets a sports scholarship and becomes an olympic swimmer. He and that swimmer girl break it off after high school and he doesn’t get into another serious relationship for a while until after uni. He settles down with her after his swimming days are over and they don’t have any kids.

Alix - She goes to uni for art but drops out her 2nd year. She travels for a while, a lot of hitch hiking and couch surfing and she starts up a vlog channel. She goes back to uni in her mid 20’s and gets a degree in art-history. She moves back home with her family and she takes on the museum. She never gets married.

Juleka - My girl gets scouted for modelling after a bunch of pictures of her modelling Mari’s designs when they were in college go viral. She moves out at 17 to go work for a big modelling company. She waits for Rose to finish Uni and then they go around the world for a few years. She becomes a big time model and becomes known for collaborating with Mari. Her and Rose get married in their mid 20’s and they have 2 kids.

Rose - She goes to Uni to get a degree in music. After uni her and Juleka go travelling for Juleka’s work and whilst they’re around Rose writes lyrics in her spare time. Writing is more of a hobby but she does end up writing a few songs for Juleka’s work and for favours and stuff. She never gets very big. They have twins, a boy and a girl.

IM NOT SURE ABOUT MYLENE AND IVAN BUT I CAN IMAGINE THEM OWNING A LIL MUSIC SHOP IN PARIS AND HAVING 4 KIDS.

ALSO PS- LILA IS A BITCH AND IM NOT INCLUDING HER BECAUSE SHES GONNA STILL BE LIVING WITH HER MOTHER IN HER 30s

[absurdthirst]

hi keri! i hope you’re having a great weekend.

just ranting a lil bit if you don’t mind.

TW: depression, anxiety

im a senior in college, graduating with my BA in the spring. i spent so many years unhappy with what i was studying and i changed my major 2 times before i transferred to my university last fall. going into the new semester i switched it again to a different major than the one im currently pursuing. in december, after being on antidepressants for about a month (for the first time in my life) along with other factors (mainly regarding school), i had a really bad mental breakdown in front of my family. it was so bad that i blacked out and almost went to the hospital. after coming down from it, i switched to a different medication, which has worked wonders for me ever since. it’s also been treating my anxiety and i’ve been seeing a therapist for the past few months.

anyways, the negative effects of the previous medication and the breakdown essentially helped me out and i changed my major in january to something im passionate about. i decided that i didn’t want to spend my life unhappy with the choices i made in school. i wanted to really live my life how i wanted. i’ve been working my ass off since the beginning of the year, taking all of the introduction courses and even taking a full class load over the summer so i would be on track to graduate in the spring. it’s been going great so far and even though im busy all the time, im so happy with the choices i’ve made! everyone in my life tells me how much of a different person i am and they can tell how positive this new life path is for me.

okay, onto the rant portion of this ask lol. because im so new to this career path, i have no experience. my resume is sad and i only have experience in things not pertaining to my chosen field. i guess i tend to feel discouraged at times cause i see so many of my classmates with way more experience than me. im actively looking for entry-level jobs and even internships so i can at least add something relevant to my resume. earlier i applied to an entry level assistant job at a big company i’ve always wanted to work for. the only thing is they require at least 6 years of experience (for an entry level!!!) and a degree. something of which i don’t have either of. i just said fuck it and applied anyways cause you never know. i spruced up my cover letter and really expressed my interest in the position. hopefully this helps my chances. im just trying to be optimistic about it because i know in my heart that i can blow it out of the park and prove to everyone there that im capable of whatever they throw at me. hoping i at least get an interview cause that would be amazing.

thanks for taking the time to listen to my rant! you’re an incredibly talented writer and such an important part of this community♥️

I always hate when they require so much fucking experience for an entry level position. That means you aren't an entry level worker. I will say that I ended up 2nd choice for a job that required experience that I had none for. And it was all because of how assertive I was in going for the position. You can never get something if you don't throw your hat in the ring.

I hope you do get it hun!

[goindownshipping]

Take me back to the night we met

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark (Starker)

Rating: Teen (T)

Notes: This has been sitting in my drafts for literal ages, so I decided to post it to give me motivation to write chapter 2... here’s hoping that happens soon y’all!

Warnings: None, meet-cute/awkward Starker. More to come in chapter 2!

Word count: 7k

Summary:

Peter and Tony are both hesitant to head back to their small town for a close friend’s wedding. Little do they know they’re from the same town, and little does Peter know that Tony Stark knows who he is. Awkward boys flirting ensues.

Or, Peter works for Stark Industries and is beyond shocked when bumps into Tony on a trip home.

Read on AO3

Peter sat at his desk, looking out the floor to ceiling windows, still unable to fathom how he got to this point in life. From his desk in the open floor plan of Stark Tower, he had a panoramic view of New York City. Every day he looked out on the skyline that people would travel thousands of miles to catch a glimpse of just one time. Thinking back on how he got to this moment, he remembers being one of those people - eager and hopeful for something more, something greater. 

He glanced down to his desk, eyeing the invitation he’d been steadily ignoring for a few too many days. Any reminder of his hometown was a bittersweet one and, for some reason, this one was particularly tough to swallow. Having left home immediately after graduating high school, Peter cut ties with too many people and burned several bridges. He didn’t regret a second of it though; he worked hard to earn his scholarship to NYU and would have never let that opportunity slip through his fingers. In the years since he moved to New York, his trips back home became less frequent and his ties to the town dwindled more than they already had. Sure, he was still close with MJ and Ned, and obviously May was still the most important person in his life. But otherwise, there was nothing left for him back home. 

With those thoughts swirling around his head, Peter looked down at the wedding invitation with a twist in his gut. May’s best friend was getting married and there was no way he could miss it. He may not be particularly close with Pepper anymore, but at one point, she was like family to him. He knew she would want him there, and so would May. There was no way he could disappoint either of them. Besides, it would be a good excuse to spend some time with MJ and Ned - he knew he didn’t get back to see them enough. 

With his mind made up, Peter quickly filled out the card indicating that he would be attending by himself. Who doesn’t love attending a wedding alone, he chuckled to himself. Yes, he’d have May and his friends with him, but that didn’t replace the longing he had for someone else by his side. Peter had worked hard and tirelessly through college and to get his foot in the door at Stark Industries. For years he told himself that he didn’t have time for anything too personal, always prioritizing himself and his career. Now that he was settled in his job, he allowed himself to want other things, other people. He had a few close friends in the city, but never sought out anything romantic. There had been a few fleeting flings here and there, but Peter always ended things before they could get serious. 

The shrill ringing of his desk phone brought Peter back to his surroundings and he shook off the lingering thoughts about his loneliness. As he chatted with someone from the developer team, he slipped the RSVP in an envelope and placed it in his stack of outgoing mail. He pulled up his group chat with Ned and MJ to let them know he’d be in town for the wedding.

Peter: Welp, guess who’s coming to Pepper’s wedding?

Ned: HELL YES! 

MJ: I’ll believe it when I see it, Parker.

Peter smiled to himself. Maybe this wouldn’t be as awful as he was expecting.

Several floors above Peter on the executive level of Stark Tower, Tony Stark himself was pacing his office, whispering into his phone at his childhood best friend. 

“Can’t I just send an expensive gift? Come on, you guys will love it. I’ll send you on your honeymoon. Where do you want to go? I’ll send you anywhere. Just please don’t make me come back there.”

“Tony, come on. You’re my best friend. I know coming here isn’t exactly your idea of a vacation, but I need you here for this. I’m getting married for fucks sake. You’re not getting out of it.” 

Tony sighed loudly into the phone, he knew Happy was right. 

“I know, I know. I want to be there for you, I really do. You know it’s not about you - you know how hard it is for me to be there." 

“I know Tones. I know it’s not the same, but, you’re family to us. I can’t get married without you standing up there next to me and embarrassing me the whole time."

Tony snorted at that. 

“Well you know I can’t pass up an opportunity like that. Just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there."

“Thank you, Tony. It means the world to me. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll send you some more details soon. Love you man."

“Love you too Happy. I’ll talk to you soon."

As Tony hung up the phone, he took in his surroundings. His floor of Stark Tower loomed higher than several of the buildings in the vicinity. He could see for miles from this vantage point. This right here was everything he’d ever dreamed of - This city, this job, this company. He rarely thought about who he was prior to all of this, but Happy’s wedding was changing that.

-

More than 20 years ago, Tony left his hometown in the dust as he sped off to MIT at the young age of 16. He’d never been particularly close with anyone back home, except for Happy, so it was easy to leave and never look back. Upon arrival at MIT, he worked harder than anyone around him, determined to prove everyone from his small town wrong, especially his parents. People in Springdale didn’t believe in leaving for something better. Everyone graduated from high school and went to the local university, only to stay trapped with the same 10,000 people for the rest of their lives. 

That was the opposite of what Tony wanted. From a young age, Tony knew he was different. He couldn’t get enough of the meager machine shop his school district had and was quickly building engines far beyond the scope of his instructors. After the engines, he got his hands on some of his own tools and resources and began building computers and robots in his garage. He never bothered with making friends, much preferring to spend time building and tinkering at home. 

All of these experiences helped him to get through high school faster than his classmates, and before he knew it, he was accepting a scholarship to MIT. His parents didn’t understand, but with the value of his scholarship, their opinions were irrelevant. The summer of his 16th birthday he packed up his most important possessions and moved to Cambridge without thinking twice. MIT was nothing like his small hometown and Tony thrived surrounded by like-minded students and faculty. He practically drooled over the technology and resources he had at his fingertips.

As soon as he could, Tony started doing research in one of his professor’s labs. There were very few research positions for undergraduate students, but Tony was nothing if not persistent and he worked hard to earn one of the coveted positions. A few years, countless sleepless nights, and several technological advances later, Tony was finishing his degree with plans to continue at MIT to pursue his Master’s. While completing his Bachelor’s degree at MIT, Tony’s trips home were few and far between. He went back for the occasional major holiday or birthday, but, for the most part, he stayed in Cambridge.

The second year of his Master’s program, everything changed. He’ll never forget the call from the local police station alerting him of an accident involving his parents. He may not have been particularly close with them, but they were his only family. Through his haze, he managed to get himself home the next day. That entire trip home was one he would gladly forget. The news of his parents passing away and the loneliness he felt was something he would never truly shake. He didn’t surround himself with many people, but the loss of his parents created a hollowness that he couldn’t have expected.

That trip back to Springdale was the last time he’d been home in the past 25 years. His friends from MIT and Stark Industries didn’t even know where he grew up. After MIT, Tony had pieced his own version of family together - he had everything he needed in those few close friends. 

The transition from MIT to New York was a quick one; Tony landed a prestigious internship with Oscorp and quickly worked his way up from there. Over the course of a few years, Tony had enough of his own ideas and resources to venture out on his own and start up a small tech company. A few of his closest friends and best colleagues from Oscorp joined him and slowly built Stark Industries into the powerhouse it was today. 

“Nat!” Tony called from his office, the door always slightly ajar.

“What is it Tony?”

“I need a flight home."

-

Several weeks later, Peter found himself pulling into May’s driveway, kicking up plenty of gravel and dirt in his rental car. Before he could bring the car to a full stop, May was bursting through the front door, eagerly approaching Peter. He pulled himself from the driver’s seat, taking a brief moment to stretch after the long drive from the airport. Seconds later he was engulfed by one of May’s all-encompassing hugs, somehow wrapping him up entirely despite the fact that he was at least a full head taller than her.

“You’re taller."

“Missed you too, May."

“Maybe you wouldn’t be so tall or miss me so much if you came home once in a lifetime. FaceTime isn’t the same, Pete."

Peter grimaced at that. He knew she was right - he didn’t come home enough despite how much he loved her. Being home was a strange mix of emotions. It was familiar and unsettling at the same time and Peter didn’t quite fit here anymore.

“I know May, I’m sorry. Work is just so busy and you know it’s hard for me to be here. I’ll try to-”

“Uh uh,” May interrupted. “No excuses. I know how hard you’ve worked for what you have out there. Just don’t forget about little old me." May cracked a grin and elbowed Peter in the ribs, just hard enough for him to know she really meant it.

“Love you, May,” Peter grinned. 

They each grabbed a bag from the car and made their way up the front steps of May’s house. As soon as they entered the hallway, Peter couldn’t help the feeling of home that washed over him. This town may not feel like home anymore, but the smell of pine and just slightly burnt bread would always send him back to his childhood.

“Shower up, Pete. You stink and we have a dinner to get to,” May called from where she was already bringing Peter’s bags to his room.

“What dinner, May? I thought things weren’t happening until this weekend?”

“Tonight is just family, and us obviously. Pepper insisted on us being there! I know you want to see Ned and MJ, but they’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”

Peter trudged up the stairs to his room, finding May already hanging up the formal items he brought for the various events attached to the wedding. He didn’t quite understand why someone needed to rehearse a wedding, but, whatever.

“I can finish this up,” Peter insisted, taking the hangers from May. “When do we need to leave?”

“In about an hour. Do you need anything?” May asked as she headed for the door.

“I’m good, May, thanks,” Peter grinned at her. “Can you get the door?”

With that, the door closed with a thud and Peter let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Hanging up the rest of his clothes, he realized the room was exactly as he’d left it when he sped off to NYU. He picked up his phone and snapped a picture of his surroundings, quickly sending it to Ned and MJ before getting himself ready for dinner.

An hour later, Peter was feeling much more human thanks to a hot shower and some fresh clothes. As he and May pulled up to Recipe, one of the few nicer restaurants in town, a swanky black Tesla caught Peter’s eye. In this town, the nicest car you usually saw was whatever new pickup truck could haul the heaviest trailer - or whatever. Peter didn’t care to know.

“May, who the hell is at this dinner?” Peter gestured out the window toward the car that clearly didn’t fit in along their historic downtown street.

“Oh, just family and maybe a couple close friends like us. That must belong to one of Happy’s friends.”

As they rounded the corner, they could hear laughter from the large patio behind the main house that was the restaurant. The patio was surrounded by large trees with strings of lights woven throughout the low-hanging branches. Peter was happy to see that this place was still here after all these years.

“May! Peter! You made it!” 

Pepper, May’s lifelong best friend, called out to them, beckoning them closer. Peter recognized nearly everyone around the large table - one of the things that comes along with a small town. The circular table was situated at the center of the patio, and he spotted the back of a man’s head that looked familiar, yet out of place here. He couldn’t quite figure it out, seemingly due to the sheer amount of time that had passed since he’d seen this particular group of people. 

Peter ducked under a couple branches and approached the table, quickly giving Pepper a hug and kiss on the cheek before finding the empty seat on the other side of May. He rounded the table and slid into his seat, interrupted by the waitress before he could even say hello to everyone else. As he turned back to the rest of the guests, he expected to be faced with Happy, Pepper’s fiance. 

What he didn’t expect was to be faced with Tony Stark - founder and CEO of Stark Industries, his very own employer. What the hell is Tony Stark doing at this table? In Springdale? For May’s best friend’s wedding?

As conversation swirled around them, Peter forgot how to speak momentarily, staring dumbly at the man across from him. Tony smirked back at him and threw him a wink while extending his hand across the table.

“You must be Peter. It’s so hard for me to believe that you’re someone’s nephew.”

Peter stared at Tony’s hand, fighting an internal battle to remember what he was supposed to do. Eventually, he reached across the table, nearly knocking over an entire glass bottle of water, and grasped Tony’s hand. He couldn’t help but appreciate the way Tony’s hand gripped his. The handshake was firm, his skin slightly calloused but soft, and Peter held on for an unacceptable length of time.

The waitress approached with his old fashioned, causing him to yank his hand back, as if he’d been shocked. He looked up to find Tony quickly averting his eyes back to the menu and Peter wished the ground would open up underneath him and swallow him whole to avoid the embarrassment that he knew was about to ensue.

The rest of dinner continued mostly uneventfully; however, Peter continued to make a fool out of himself any time Tony so much as glanced in his direction. Anytime Peter looked up, he was met with Tony’s intense gaze, but the man seemed to take pity on Peter and avoided any further embarrassment. Instead, Peter chatted with May about the city, but tried to avoid work; no one seemed to be acknowledging the elephant in the room, and Peter didn’t want to rock the boat. 

Tony Stark was not your average wedding guest, and everyone at the table seemed intent on ignoring his status. Peter knew he was missing something, but now wasn’t the time to ask why the CEO of New York’s largest tech firm and self-proclaimed “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” was in their presence. 

Peter was certain that Tony had no idea who he was. Sure, Peter had been working at Stark Industries for a while now, but he’d only met the company’s founder once and it was by complete accident. When Peter interviewed for his first entry-level position, Mr. Stark himself just happened to be on the HR floor for another matter entirely. Peter had nearly collided with him as he exited the elevator and frantically looked around for the office number he’d been given. He could have never expected Tony Stark to point him in the right direction before heading down the hall in the opposite direction. Peter had stared at the back of Tony’s head for a moment too long that day, but headed off toward his interview before he could see Tony throw a glance back in Peter’s direction.

Now, back in Springdale, Peter was baffled at Tony’s appearance in the small town.

Dinner came to a close and Peter nearly leapt away from the table to escape back to the safety of May’s home. Before he could make a move, Pepper grabbed him and May by the elbows. 

“You two better be coming with us for drinks!” 

Peter hesitated, exhausted after a day of traveling, but May was beaming. 

“Of course, Pepper. We wouldn’t miss it,” Peter agreed with a soft smile.

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see Tony leaving in the direction of his out-of-place sports car. Peter felt relief wash over him, realizing he'd get a break from embarrassing himself for the rest of the evening. 

Pepper and Happy decided that they wanted to go to Barley & Vine, the only good place for drinks in their small town. It was just a couple blocks away so the four of them decided to make the short walk together. Peter and May walked together, a few paces behind Pepper and Happy, wanting to give them a bit of space. Thinking back on dinner, Peter couldn’t help but laugh at himself. May didn’t miss it and threw a sneaky glance at Peter. 

“What, May? You’re not subtle, so just spit it out."

“So that’s the hot CEO you never shut up about, isn’t it?”

“May! What is he doing here? You do realize that’s Tony Stark right? Like, the Tony Stark! And he’s here?”

“That must be the Tony that Happy mentioned to me,” May shrugged. “I didn’t know he meant Tony Stark. I guess everyone in this town forgot that he grew up here, not in some lab in New York.”

“Tony Stark is from Springdale,” Peter deadpanned. “You have got to be joking. How is that even possible?”

“You’re the one that works for the man, ask him yourself! The brainiac had already left town by the time I got to high school so I never knew him. How could I have known that he and Happy grew up together?”

Peter just shook his head as they approached the small bar. After tonight, he’d spend the rest of the trip with MJ and Ned and hopefully avoid any further embarrassment in front of Tony. He knew they would give him a hard time for the whole thing, so he could only hope they didn’t find out about his antics at dinner that night.

Barley & Vine was one of the only places Peter enjoyed visiting when he was home. The cozy interior was inviting and the eclectic furniture set the place apart from the other dives in town. Pepper, May and Peter settled into some plush chairs and couches tucked into a corner near the back of the bar as Happy grabbed them a round of drinks. Peter was grateful for the quieter atmosphere after the long and unexpected day he’d had. When Happy returned, May and Pepper were already wrapped up in a conversation that seemed to be about the seating arrangements and predicting who from high school would hook up with an old flame. 

Happy extended a beer to Peter, which he took with a grateful smile. Peter had only met Happy once before this weekend, but he seemed nice enough. 

“So,” Happy started. “It seems like you and Tony had the same idea about getting out of this town."

“I guess so. Although, I had no idea he was from here. Everyone back in New York just knows he went to MIT when he was 16 - no one talks about what came before that. Seems pretty unreal that you guys grew up together." Peter eyed Happy nervously, unsure if this was a topic he’d be comfortable talking about.

“Yeah, Tony’s a pretty private guy and when he left Springdale he never really looked back. There’s too much here that he doesn’t like to revisit. Honestly, I couldn’t believe it when he agreed to come out for the wedding." 

Peter nodded in understanding. “I can understand that. I pretty much did the same thing when I left for NYU. I don’t get home enough, that’s for sure." Peter smiled in May’s direction knowing she missed him more than she ever let on.

At that, Peter and Happy fell into comfortable conversation about Peter’s experiences at NYU and now at Stark Industries. Happy had visited Tony in the city a few times, and they swapped stories about their favorite places, discovering that Tony had taken Happy to Peter’s favorite greasy burger joint.

Before long, all four of them were chatting excitedly about the coming weekend and Pepper and Happy’s honeymoon plans. Before Pepper could continue her ramblings about some private beach they were going to, the group was interrupted by Tony’s arrival. Peter was on his second beer of the night, giving him just enough of a buzz to be less chaotic than he was at dinner.

That was before Peter realized the only empty seat was on the couch next to him.

“Sorry I’m late guys. I had to run to the house for a minute and I forgot how slow the speed limits in this town are.” Tony already had a drink in hand as he settled into the spot next to Peter, leaving a comfortable distance between the two of them.

Peter snorted into his beer. “As if you follow speed limits."

The comment seemed to catch Tony off guard and he let out an unexpected laugh. Peter told himself that the blush he could feel on his cheeks was from the slight buzz, not from making Tony laugh. Before Peter had a chance to embarrass himself any further, Happy interrupted.

“May, did you ever meet Tony before he left us for MIT’s fancy labs?”

“Ha ha, very funny Hap,” Tony said with a genuine smile. They’d been friends long enough and been through so much that Happy could give Tony a hard time for just about anything. “Anyway,” he turned to May, “no, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m sure I would remember meeting you,” Tony said with a wink.

Peter rolled his eyes. He knew the reputation that Tony Stark carried in New York, hell the reputation he carried around the world. But he also knew May and that she wouldn’t be amused by Tony’s flirting.

“Well, you sure don’t seem to remember everyone you’ve met." May narrowed her eyes at Tony. “Have you met my nephew Peter yet Mr. Stark?” May asked with a playful glint in her eye.

Peter glared at May, willing her to shut up before she said anything else. 

Tony moved back in his seat next to Peter to get a better look at him. “As a matter of fact, we have met. Peter, you’re on the implementation team, yes?”

Peter’s jaw dropped in disbelief. At a company the size of Stark Industries, there was no way Tony knew who Peter was. Peter barely came into contact with any of the executive team and had never worked directly with Tony himself. 

“I may be the CEO of the company, but I keep close tabs on who we hire. Chalk it up to my perfectionism,” Tony finished with a sheepish grin.

“I, uh, yeah. Implementation team, that’s me,” Peter stammered. He took a big gulp of beer and stared at his feet, hoping the attention would turn away from him if he just pretended he wasn’t there.

The other four seemed to take the hint and started reminiscing about growing up in Springdale along with the trouble they all got in during school. Tony chatted with them for a while, surprisingly enjoying the conversation about a town he hadn’t considered home for decades. 

“Oh my god,” Pepper laughed, “was it junior prom that you spiked the punch, Hap? I’ll never forget the lecture you got from Mr. Houser that week!”

“Hey now, it’s not my fault that I lost my touch for sneaking around after Tony left town. He was always the brains behind the operation."

Noticing that the conversation was taking a turn toward a time after he’d left, Tony retreated to the bar for another drink. When he returned to the couch, he handed Peter another beer.

“I saw you were getting low. Figured you could use another."

“Thanks, Mr. Stark."

“God kid, please call me Tony."

Peter felt the dip in the couch as Tony sat back down, sitting slightly closer to him this time. May, Pepper, and Happy were wrapped up in a dynamic conversation about some town-wide scandal from a couple years prior. Neither Tony nor Peter knew what was going on.

“So, you’re from Springdale?” Tony asked.

“Uh, yeah. But wait, you’re from Springdale?” Peter asked incredulously.

Tony let out an uncomfortable laugh and took a long sip from his glass. “Against all odds, yeah kid, I am. I left when I was 16 and hardly ever came back - haven’t been back since my folks died."

“I get that. My parents died when I was young; that’s why I lived with Aunt May until I left for school. It’s tough coming back here when there isn’t much left here for me."

Neither man really knew what to say after that; they were both surprised by their similar history with the small town.

“So,” Peter started with a grin. “Did you really build DUM-E in your parents’ garage in high school?”

For the first time that evening, Peter saw Tony’s face stretch into a wide smile, his eyes even crinkling a bit.

“How the hell would you know that?”

“The R&D team at Stark Industries tells a lot of stories about your robots. Rumor has it that you built it before you were at MIT, so, now, I figure that means you had to have built it here."

Tony only smiled bigger and shook his head before launching into the story of how DUM-E came to be. Peter listened intently, amazed at the brilliance of the man in front of him. Of course he knew that Tony was a genius, you don’t build a company like Stark Industries without being the smartest person in every room, but it was different to witness it up close. It also seemed like Tony’s hard exterior had softened enough to let his guard down just a bit. Peter was enjoying seeing a more human side to the enigma that was Tony Stark.

“There was this one time in college when I was working on new technology for engine propulsion and I had DUM-E on fire safety and the stupid thing would douse me with the fire extinguisher every single time I ran a test. He wore the dunce cap for a while after he cleaned up the mess he made."

Peter leaned forward out of his seat to take a drink from his beer sitting on the table in front of him. When he leaned back, Tony had moved closer to the middle of the cushion and casually thrown his arm along the back of the couch. At this point, Peter was fully tipsy, and didn’t think twice about setting back in, feeling the warmth from Tony’s body where they were nearly pressed against each other. Peter and Tony were so close together that Peter could barely turn his head to make eye contact with the man next to him. He didn’t let himself think about what would happen if they both turned toward each other.

Peter sat quietly for a moment, gathering the courage to ask Tony the question that he hadn’t been able to shake since he arrived at the bar. The consistent buzz and warmth just under the surface of his skin helped push him to get the words out of his mouth.

“So, how did you know who I was when May asked?”

Tony looked away from Peter, seeing that Pepper, Happy, and May were all still engrossed in their own conversation.

“You’ve been at the company for what, five years now Pete?”

“Six years in the spring, yeah."

“Sounds about right. Just over five years ago I seem to remember going down to the HR floor to sign some paperwork. Natasha was out of the office, so they hadn’t gotten delivered to my office, but the head of the department needed them by the end of the day. So, I popped downstairs for a minute to get those done. On my way back to the elevators, I was nearly the victim of a head on collision, thanks to a very stressed kid. He was lanky and had the softest looking curls and these bright red cheeks." Tony smiled to himself, and if it was brighter in their corner, Peter would have sworn he saw Tony blushing.

“Anyway, I pointed him toward the entrance to the main HR suite, assuming that he was there for an interview based on the stress rolling off of him in waves. He practically sprinted away from me, and by the time I looked back, he had already rounded the corner. A couple weeks later, I saw those same curls rising a full head above all the other new employees passing by my lab on the tour included during the onboarding process. Bummer for me, I didn’t know his name and we never seemed to cross paths again."

Peter sat quietly, slowly processing the words that had come out of Tony’s mouth. The alcohol rushing through his veins seemed to slow his thought process drastically, leaving Tony sitting in awkward silence. After a moment, Peter turned to look at Tony with a cautious smile - he was surprised to see Tony already watching him intently.

“You remember me. From my interview. When we didn’t even meet."

“Yeah, kid, I remembered you,” Tony said carefully, unsure of what was running through Peter’s mind.

Throwing caution to the wind, Peter scooted even closer to Tony; any space that remained between them was now gone. Tony’s arm that had been resting along the back of the couch came down around Peter’s shoulder, settling the younger man into his side. Their legs were pressed firmly together and Peter attempted to make himself smaller, wanting to rest his head on Tony’s shoulder. From that position, Peter turned his head just slightly, his nose now resting in the crook of Tony’s neck. The grip around his shoulder tightened, and Tony turned his face into the curls on top of Peter’s head.

Tony glanced up, seeing his friends and Peter’s aunt eying them curiously. May locked eyes with Tony, her gaze piercing for a moment. Tony held strong, so as to not alert Peter to the silent conversation they were having. Just as Tony thought was going to be forced to peel Peter off of his side, May’s eyes softened and she just shook her head with a fond smile. Tony let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding as May, Pepper, and Happy let him and Peter remain in their little bubble.

“Peter, whatcha doing down there?” Tony asked, his voice smooth and low. Peter could feel the words vibrating in his ear from where he was pressed against Tony. 

Peter thought for a moment. What was he doing? His entire body stiffened as he realized the way he’d tucked himself into Tony’s side. Before he could pull away, Tony’s hand settled on his shoulder, halting the mindless wandering it had been doing along Peter’s arm. Tony squeezed his shoulder tightly and kept him in place. Tony leaned down even further, his lips brushing the shell of Peter’s ear. Peter could feel Tony’s warm breath on his ear, causing him to shiver despite the warmth of the man next to him.

“Nuh uh, I’m not complaining. I’d like to keep you right here, actually.”

Peter could feel butterflies erupting in his stomach, and the beginning tingle of arousal just at Tony’s words and the way he whispered in Peter’s ear. As much as he wanted to just curl into Tony even more or simply climb into his lap, Peter knew that if this was going to go any further, it couldn’t happen here. Peter pulled back from Tony’s neck and took in his surroundings. Tony’s arm returned to the couch’s backrest, but his intense gaze never wavered from Peter’s face. Peter could feel the blush rising in his cheeks, burning its way down past the collar of his shirt.

“It’s late, you’ve had a long day of traveling. How about you let me take you home. Those three are bound for a late night." Tony nodded toward the other three, and Peter wondered how long he’d been tucked into Tony’s side based on the quantity of empty pints and shot glasses in front of them. 

“Yeah, okay. Let me just give May a heads up."

“Sounds good. I’ll say goodnight to Happy and meet you up front."

Peter nodded and pushed himself out of his seat, finding his legs far less stable than he expected. After a moment of catching his balance he caught May’s attention and nodded toward the door. He wove his way among the various groups in the bar, smiling at a couple familiar faces that he couldn’t quite match with a name. He reached the entrance and leaned against the wall, feeling exhaustion settle deep within his bones. 

May approached a moment later with a massive shit-eating grin on her face. 

“What in the hell was happening on that couch, Peter?”

Peter scrubbed his face with his hand letting out a long breath. “Fuck, I have no idea May. I’ve never said a word to the man before today. I have no idea what’s going on."

May reached up and ruffled his curls like she had done when he was growing up. He couldn’t help but lean into the familiar touch, comforted by her presence.

“Well whatever it was, you two aren’t subtle."

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Tony’s going to give me a ride home. I’m exhausted and I know you’re having a good time with Pepper and Happy."

May only smirked at that. “Yeah, sure, he’s just giving you a ride home."

“Oh my god, May, not happening. Call me if you need anything, yeah?”

“Same to you mister. Have fun."

Leaning up on her toes, May pressed a kiss to Peter’s cheek before heading back to Pepper and Happy. Tony was already heading toward the entrance and May quickly grabbed his elbow as their paths crossed.

“Be nice to him." Before Tony could open his mouth to reply, May had already moved past him, rejoining Pepper and Happy. 

Tony found Peter leaning against the wall at the entrance to the bar, eyes practically closed and looking like he was about to melt into a puddle on the floor. Tony cleared his throat softly, hoping to get the boy’s attention without scaring him too much. 

“You ready to get out of here, kid?”

“I’m not a kid,” Peter pouted as he headed out the front door and looked down the street for Tony’s car.

Tony just laughed, not bothering to argue with Peter. Tony placed a gentle hand on the small of Peter’s back, guiding him toward his car around the corner. Peter leaned into the touch, reveling in the warmth radiating from Tony’s hand. The two of them walked in comfortable silence, taking in the familiar sight of their hometown. When they approached Tony’s car, Peter paused and tilted his head back to take in the night sky.

“I forgot how bright the stars are here,” he said with wonder.

Tony looked up too. It had been so many years since he was anywhere besides big cities with all their bright lights and never ending noise. Tony closed his eyes, taking in the silence around them.

“It sure is different from the city."

When Tony opened his eyes, Peter had moved closer than he had been before. His eyes were wide, flickering between Tony’s eyes and his lips. Without realizing it, Tony’s tongue darted out, wetting his lips and he swore he saw Peter go cross-eyed following the movement. 

“Pete,” Tony whispered. “You gotta tell me what you’re thinking."

Instead of answering, Peter invaded Tony’s space entirely, fisting his hands in the fabric of Tony’s all too expensive dress shirt. He tilted his head until his nose bumped against Tony’s and he could feel the other man’s breath on his lips. Tony groaned at the feeling and wrapped his arms around Peter’s narrow waist, pulling him into his chest. Their lips were so close to touching that Tony swore he could feel them brush against his. Peter let out a shaky breath and smiled softly at Tony, nodding his head just slightly.

He couldn’t tell which of them moved first, but before he knew it Peter’s soft lips were pressed against his own. Tony swallowed Peter’s soft moan and allowed his tongue to explore the seam of Peter’s lips. One of Peter’s hands let go of its tight grip on Tony’s shirt and traveled up his chest, over his shoulder, and settled on the back of his neck, just able to wind his fingers through the strands of hair there. The move made Tony let out a loud moan as he pulled back from Peter, nipping his full bottom lip as we went.

They pressed their foreheads together, panting against each other's lips, not loosening their grip one bit. Tony could feel Peter’s face stretch into a grin and he pulled back just far enough to catch a glimpse. Tony leaned back in to press another kiss against Peter’s soft lips before taking a step back, allowing his hand to find Peter’s.

“God, you’re gorgeous. I should get you home before we horrify this entire town,” he said breathlessly.

“Yeah, you’re probably right."

Tony quickly opened the passenger door and allowed Peter to slip inside before closing the door. As he rounded the front of the car to the driver’s side, he swore he could feel Peter’s eyes following his every move.

“You’re staying with May, right?” Tony asked as he got settled into his seat.

Peter nodded. “Yeah, the house is just off the highway by the Dairy Queen."

Tony hummed in recognition and started the car. Peter, being about as subtle as a trainwreck, couldn't take his eyes off of Tony the duration of the short ride to May’s house. Watching Tony’s hands grip the wheel and grasp the gear shift should not have affected Peter the way they did, but he simply couldn't help it. After a few minutes, Tony glanced over and caught Peter staring at his right hand on the gear shift. Peter turned bright red, realizing he’d been caught, but Tony simply slid his hand over the center console and settled his palm on Peter’s thigh.

“You’re pretty cute when you get flustered, Pete." Tony squeezed Peter’s thigh and just laughed at Peter’s garbled reply.

Deciding it was safer not to speak, Peter stayed quiet until they neared May’s house. Even then, he only said enough to direct Tony down a couple quiet streets until the house came into view. Tony’s hand remained firmly on Peter’s thigh the entire time, squeezing in acknowledgment as Peter directed him. When Tony came to a stop in May’s driveway, both men hesitantly turned toward each other. 

Tony lifted his hand from Peter’s thigh to cup his face, running a thumb along Peter’s cheek. Peter’s hand reached out to wind his fingers in Tony’s hair, pulling the man closer as he did so. 

“I would invite you in, but I think I might fall asleep walking to the front door,” Peter said, disappointment evident in his voice.

“Well then I better make sure you get to the door in one piece." 

They reluctantly dropped their hands and stepped out of the car. Tony came around to Peter’s side and wrapped an arm low around Peter’s hips. Peter couldn’t help but lean into the warmth and firmness of Tony’s side as they made their way to the front door.

Tony used his grip on Peter’s waist to turn the boy to face him.

“Get some rest, kid."

Peter nodded in agreement, already slumped against Tony’s chest.

Tony chuckled and took a small step back, making sure Peter remained upright. Tony leaned in cautiously, but Peter answered the question before Tony could even ask it by pressing his lips firmly against Tony’s. They got lost in each other for a few moments, before Peter pulled back with a yawn.

“I’ll see you soon, Tony."

“Absolutely, Peter." Tony squeezed Peter’s hip before heading back to his car. 

Peter unlocked the front door and stepped inside the familiar threshold. Before closing the door, he called out to Tony. “If you thought I looked good in a suit all those years ago, just wait until you see me at the wedding." Before Tony could say anything, Peter closed the door.

Tony stood frozen in the driveway where he’d already opened the door to his car. He just shook his head and laughed, knowing he was in trouble with this kid.

[squishybuttercup]

Nam Jaejoong

28 years old - Genius - Slob - Bookworm

@simvicii​ Alex’s Bachelor Challenge

(NOTE: Under the cut is LOOONG story with his earlier life containing tw violence and depression. If you’re okay with that content, I hope you take the time to get to know Jae.)

  Backstory:

Jae was orphaned when he was 10, and he had been keeping to himself mostly ever since then. His family had gone through series of tragedies, but most of those things do not make sense to a child. When he was 6, his older sister was diagnosed with Leukemia. Their parents’ relation started to strain as they struggle to earn money for his sister’s treatments and for their basic needs. They worked multiple jobs, and took turns in taking care for their children, but Jae was mostly overlooked. Both of them had to stop school, and so their only activities at home were reading and house chores (which eventually Jae had to do most as his sister’s condition worsened). Their parents were barely home, and when they were, all they would do is fight (screaming at each other and throwing things around the house). Eventually, his father stopped coming home. Without enough financial aid, medical treatments for his sister halted. She died when Jae was around 9 years old.

After years of struggles and pain, his mother was pushed to a point of experiencing depression. Again, a child wouldn’t know what to do in his situation. After all these things, the worst was yet to come for him. Robbers came to their house one night, and his mother tried to fight them of from stealing what is left of their savings. Jae rushed to help her but one of the robbers attacked him, all he could remember was a sharp pain on his face before he passed out (This resulted in him having a scar on his face). He woke up in a hospital bed, wherein a police officer broke the news to him, his mother was killed in the robbery. The orphanage has sent him from foster families after foster families. Jae spent most of his time on his own, reading books and trying experiments (when he has resources). He had a hard time at school because most kids and teachers just saw him as a weird kid. When he was 17 his genius potentials were noticed by their school principal who decided to give him a test, wherein if he passed he is then qualified to continue on to college despite him stopping school for a few years.

After passing the exam, Jae was then introduced to a couple willing to adopt him even though he is almost in legal age. The couple were both middle-aged doctors, who never had a chance to have a child of their own. They think that he will fit right in their household, and he did like it there. He had access to a library with a lot of medical books, a comfortable bed, and supportive guardians. During his time spent with them and in college, he slowly started to open up to other people. It was a little awkward for him at first to call them “mom” and “dad” but he got used to it.

For his bachelor’s degree, he took up BS Psychology. His course was a big part of how he was able to help himself heal and to also attend therapy. His social life also started to grow as he participated in different organizations that are about healthcare and environment preservation. When it comes to his dating life, well, college girls and boys don’t usually take interest on someone who has his face buried in a book. He went on a few first dates, but none of those developed into anything serious.

He did of course still spend most of his time reading, especially fictions which are fantasy genre since that was his interest when he was a kid. Jae was usually submerged in studying; this applies to all kinds of topics ranging from social issues up to medical discoveries. Whenever this happens, he tends to ignore the random papers, candy wrappers, water bottles littered in his room so his mom describes him as bit of a slob. (Their housemaid confirmed this).

His motto in life is “Keep Learning”. He values individual growth and always finds ways on self-improvement. He tried out sports during this time too, which are basketball and tennis. They were fun for him but they didn’t exactly become his favorite activities. But his experience did help him realize that hobbies aside from reading are important as well. This was how he developed the habit of jogging every other day, and he also tried going to the gym but that didn’t work out for him so he opted for exercising at home instead.

Jae entered medical school when he was 22, and he originally planned to pursue being a General Practitioner. But during his third year, when he had to choose his field of specialization in medical practice, he chose to focus on being a surgeon. Furthermore, his goal is to be a neurosurgeon.

When it comes to family bonding, they genuinely enjoy discussions related to their field of expertise. His dad is a Physician and his mom is an OB-GYN. But medical field aside, they enjoy watching action movies together. They also go out to eat ice cream during summer, and their favorite food to eat during winter is ramen.

  Right now, at age 28, he has finished 2 years of internship. He is currently evaluating his life and his goals in life.

“I’m working as an intern in the same hospital where my parents work. But I decided to take a small break from that for now. I am passionate about my career, but I’m also the kind of guy who dreams of having his own family. And uhm.. I’ve been thinking that I’m not getting any younger, and now more than ever I want to take this shot at love. I talked it out with my parents, because they’ve always been supportive of my career, and they said they want what’s best for me, and that I’m the one who knows that. I’m going to admit that the idea of my own family also terrifies me, but I also know that with the kind of person I am now, I’m going to be a responsible and loving father/husband.”

The reason why Jae is even able to make this choice, despite the well-known fact that doctors are busy as heck, is because of his security in his workplace and the support from his parents and friends. The hospital he works on ensures not only the best care for its patients, but also to its workers. The board members and all staff are aware of Jae’s capability as a doctor and treats him with high regard even though he’s only an intern so far. He had a discussion with the Director of the hospital before he started internship, to which he expressed his intentions and wishes regarding his working hours incase he decides to start a family. The Director is a good friend of their family, and one of the few people who knows about his past. Which is why he has made arrangements for Jae, with the knowledge that he will still be able to work his best.

Jae doesn’t really know what to think of fate or coincidences, but just during the start of his break, he saw “The Bachelor: Alexander Goth”. He wasn’t one to have crushes immediately on someone, more so on someone he hasn’t met. But boy did Alex leave an impression on him. The more he read about him, his interest in him develops and he hopes to get to know him in person someday. He deeply respects Alex’s work as an author, and he’s pretty excited to read his works!

“I’m entering this challenge and I view it as me spending time with possibly the love of my life. When it comes to what I look for in a relationship, I want someone I can grow with. People are so obsessed with finding their Perfect Match, and most of the time they just look for someone who is completely compatible with who they are at the moment, and worse they only want these ideal soulmates. I think that it’s important for partners to respect, trust and love each other. But they should also be aware that people continuously change overtime, and that as partners they must grow together and always choose each other.”

  Here is a CAS picture of him where his scar is now visible:

squishybuttercup’s notes: hi love!! I know that your aim with this challenge is to have gameplay-centered legacy. But the reason why I wrote this much detail about him is for you (and alex) to get to know him well. Gameplay-wise he can just work as doctor in the sims world and be one of the two best dads in the sims world. Also Jae isn’t the type of person who shares his life story away, so I imagine him telling Alex himself about that part ^_^ I’m super excited for this and I hope Nam Jaejoong gets picked! Anything else not mentioned here you may ask me or opt to have your own interpretation I don’t mind as I am literally offering him to be in your game ajsdfsjkl this also means i acknowledge that you might change his looks to fit your game’s aesthetics. also ily :p

[superlinguo]

Linguistics Jobs: Interview with a Learning Scientist

Language lessons with Duolingo and other language learning apps can sometimes go so well that you can forget that there are people who make them happen. One of those people is Cindy Blanco, a Learning Scientist at Duolingo.  You can follow her on Twitter (@YeahThatCindy) or just think fondly of her and the team next time you enjoy a good lesson in Duolingo. Anyone for some Welsh? High Valyrian? Hawaiian? Swahili? How many languages do I have time to start right now? Here’s Cindy with what it means to be a Learning Scientist.

What did you study at university?

I majored in linguistics at UNC-Greensboro, which had a linguistics program at the time. I was already majoring in English and Spanish, with a minor in Russian, but since the language departments were focused on literature, it was a while before I learned what linguistics was. I was obsessed with capital-L Language and with languages, but I was shaping up to be a pretty bad literature student - I would get so consumed with words and usage and differences in language across periods and regions that I couldn't focus on the actual reading! I still remember taking a class called "The Structure of English," which was a covert intro to linguistics, and by the end of the first day I realized, "THIS! This is what I am: a linguist."

I later began a PhD program in Spanish Linguistics at Penn State, and in a moment of panic over a life in academia, I stopped after the MA and took some time off. I taught Spanish full time, worked as an instructional designer, and translated as an administrative assistant for a law clinic in Texas. Even though I was never far from languages and linguistics, I wanted to keep learning about linguistics and language science. I returned to graduate school when the opportunity arose to work in labs focused on child language and psycholinguistics. My dissertation was on speech perception in bilingual children and adults, and I graduated with my PhD in Linguistics from the University of Texas at Austin in 2016. After the PhD, I conducted research as a postdoc in cognitive psychology at Northwestern University.

What is your job?

At Duolingo, I work as a learning scientist. It's taken me a while to grow into this title, because in academia I identified as a language scientist - but part of transitioning to industry has involved learning to talk about my skill set in an applied setting. None of my degrees say "learning" so it didn't feel right to call myself a learning scientist... but 8 years of experimental research on language learning definitely do make me an expert in my favorite kind of learning!

I think I have the best position at Duolingo: my job is to inform product development in linguistically- and pedagogically-sound ways to improve learning outcomes for language students worldwide. I work very closely with some of my product teams; with others, I'm more of an on-call consultant to answer questions, give feedback, and brainstorm new approaches. I work with teams of engineers, designers, and product managers to find creative, effective technological solutions to the puzzle of language learning. There is no typical day, but in any given week, I will brainstorm prototypes of new products, manage teams of freelance language experts and translators, lead workshops on language acquisition, and develop guidelines for new lesson types. I also conduct user experience interviews (translation: qualitative research) and research on learning outcomes. I'm also really interested in building more direct links between the work I'm doing now and the academic community, so I regularly attend conferences, I co-organize Duolingo's colloquium series, and I am working to build partnerships locally in Pittsburgh.

How does your linguistics training help you in your job?

I use my training every day, in every meeting, and I love that I can still be both researcher and instructor. I've designed research studies, written up reports, and presented my findings to experts and non-experts alike. I'm using the principles that I learned in classes on second language acquisition, speech perception, and psycholinguistics to inform new, better ways to teach languages. Right now I'm even preparing a company-wide workshop on phonetics and L2 phonology! I've honed so many new skills at Duolingo, and that has been really fun and rewarding, but here I'm a linguist through and through. I even hold linguistics office hours, where my colleagues can drop by to ask me linguistics questions, related to our work or otherwise. I've recently chatted with coworkers about grammatical gender, Proto-Indo-European, and the regularization of verb paradigms!

I was recently in a situation where I was helping a team brainstorm new ways to teach grammar. We knew we wanted to improve learning outcomes for a particular topic related to verb conjugations, and so I briefed the team on how the particular grammatical feature works, how it varies cross-linguistically, and some of the main challenges for learning it. I then worked with a designer to look at what our options were for creating new exercises and what the technological challenges would be for implementation. I also worked with a product manager to think about how we could scale different solutions across a huge number of language courses and language types, and what kind of guidance we would have to give to the language experts who create content for all those different languages (that's not me!). In these contexts, I have to think like a linguist, and when I do my job well I'm also teaching others about linguistics, and hopefully creating a new way for learners to engage with their new language.

Do you have any advice do you wish someone had given to you about linguistics/careers/university?

I wish I had been encouraged to think broadly and creatively! Languages and linguistics show up in more places than college classrooms, and the skills I built as a graduate student, researcher, and instructor do translate outside of academia. Really, they do!

I was a Duolingo learner for years before I realized it was a place I could make a contribution. It was just an app I used for fun, and it seemed so far from what my PhD research was about that I didn't consider myself a good fit. And it's true, I no longer plead with bilingual preschoolers to categorize my carefully-created allophones in timed tasks, but my whole job is thinking about how to capitalize on a learner's language background to help them learn a new language given limited time and resources. THAT is a problem I was trained to think through. My research and interests have moved in a new direction for sure, but what tenure-track professor's research interests don't also evolve over time? I'm learning and thinking through new problems, and applying familiar concepts to new domains, and that's what drew me to linguistics to begin with.

The best piece of advice I ever got was from another grad student who, reflecting on her own struggles in academic job markets, told me to get a summer internship before I finished the PhD. Internships are easier to get when you're a student, and having one on your CV (or resume) shows a potential employer that you know how to be successful in industry. I'm good at being a linguist, but I'm much newer to collaborating with people from very different fields (and not different like linguistics and psychology are different - I mean different different). I interned at a small start-up for two summers, and that's where I began learning that how you talk about your trade and your ideas to non-expert colleagues is at least as important as what your ideas are in the first place.

Any other thoughts or comments?

I kept returning to the academic path even after time away (and the occasional existential crisis) because I was really worried that I wouldn't feel challenged, engaged, or fulfilled in industry. Even when grad school and research was hard, I loved learning, and I had a good deal of autonomy in what I studied and how. I thought I'd have to give all that up.

That hasn't been my experience at all! And as a learning scientist I'm making a contribution to language learning on a scale I had never before imagined. I get to work on lots of projects, I have a lot of agency in the work I do, and I work with smart, talented people who know about things I'd never thought about. They are my collaborators now, and I have so much to learn from them. They are curious and capable, and they push me to think more, and think better, every day. They're helping me become a new kind of linguist.

Recently:

Interview with an Internet Linguist

Interview with a Lexicographer

Interview with a School Linguist

Interview with a Journalist

Interview with a PR Consultant

Check out the Linguist Jobs Master List and the Linguist Jobs tag for even more interviews  

[yasxgamal]

Basic Information

Full name: Yasin Gamal Pronunciation: ee-ah-ceen gah-mah-l Nickname(s): Yas, E. Birthdate: November 20th, 1986 Age: 34 Zodiac: Scorpio Gender: Male Pronouns: He/him/his Romantic orientation: Panromantic Sexual orientation: Pansexual Nationality: English Ethnicity: Egyptian Current location: London, UK Living conditions: Yas' place is a one-bedroom mess. It's a good flat, spacious and in a good location, all things considered, but he's not the best at decorating. Apart from the very odd artwork or two hanging crookedly on the walls, there isn't much more to it. He keeps his space clean and tidy when he has the time to do that, but it's not a very personal place. Also probably smells like smoke most of the time -- or, air freshener if he's trying to impress you.

Background

Birthplace: London, UK Hometown: London, UK Social Class: Wealthy if you count the parents' money, Middle if you consider his own money and lifestyle currently, and his tendencies to waste it all on cigarettes. Educational achievements: A really fancy degree in Computer Sciences and Computer Engineering at the most expensive college in the UK Father: Omar Gamal Mother: Safiya Gamal Sibling(s): Samir Gamal and Aisha Gamal. Birth order: Samir, Yas, Aisha is the youngest. Pets: Ramen, the stray cat that crawls in through his window and occasionally spends weeks sleeping inside, and then disappears for months on end. Previous relationships: One big relationship in college for 3 years, a miserable breakup. Then mostly only casual things after that, none he would consider true relationships. Arrests: N/A Prison time: N/A

Occupation & Income

Current occupation: Programmer for the Time Machine project Dream occupation: Programmer for the first working Time Machine Past job(s): College Era: various internships, waiter, freelance photographer for kids' parties, freelance I.T., tech teacher for the elderly, tech teacher for children, coder and manager for a pornographic film company's website. Post-College Era: has helped coding and programming several apps and softwares independently, then a stable job at GoodCore Software Ltd. as SQA Lead. Spending habits: Yas spends a lot on cigarettes and technology, but everything else he doesn't care enough for. In debt?: No Most valuable possession: Emotionally, his own laptop or phone, and all the photos and memories stored in them, as well as his work. Legally and monetarily, though, it's the BAFTA statuette from his sister, which he now gets to keep for a year because he won a bet (it's fine, she has more than one).

Skills & Abilities

Physical strength: Average Speed: Average Intelligence: Above Average when it comes to all things technology, Average on some other subjects. Accuracy: Average Agility: Above Average Stamina: Above Average Teamwork: Great in environments where everyone is delegated a certain job and he gets to do his thing in his corner to add to the mix. When it comes to people wanting to mess with his codes, he gets a bit stubborn and difficult to deal with. Shortcomings: often lets his pride ruin things, a bit of an inflated ego when it comes to his work, bad at communicating. Languages spoken: English, Arabic Drive?: Yes Jump-start a car?: No Change a flat tyre?: Yes Ride a bicycle?: Poorly Swim?: Yes Play an instrument?: If you count the guitar lessons in his childhood (he does) Play chess?: Yes Braid hair?: No Tie a tie?: Yes Pick a lock?: No Cook?: Yes, the very bare minimum, and he hardly does it.

Physical Appearance & Characteristics

Faceclaim: Rami Malek Eye colour: Greyish green Hair colour: Black Hair type/style/length: Shaved on the sides, originally short on top but it grows out too fast and he can't be bothered to get a haircut, so it grows out curly. When it starts to become a mop and look like he has a helmet of hair on, he cuts it short again, and repeats that cycle. Glasses/contacts?: No, but they're needed. He has shit eyesight and no one ever forced him to get glasses so he never did. Don't ask him to read any signs that are far away. Dominant hand: Right Height: 5'9 / 175cm Weight: 154 lb / 70kg Build: Slim Exercise habits: Nonexistent, but he does a lot of walking Skin tone: Olive (Type IV) Tattoos: The initials of his siblings, A.S. in a simple font, on the bottom of his ribs on his right side. They all have matching ones. He continuously tells them the joke that they should get a fourth sibling with an S name, so he can get A.S.S. tattooed instead. Piercings: None Marks/scars: Several small scars around his legs and arms, from climbing around and getting into trouble as a middle child desperate for attention. A more notorious scar runs up behind his left elbow from a night in college when he got wasted with his friends and had an accident with a knife (don't ask). Clothing style: Black, a lot of black. The most colourful thing in his closet might be a dark grey jumper. Very minimalistic in the sense that he never wears patterns or colours or graphic tees, it's always just very dry and kind of bland. He probably could get into fashion if he wanted to, but he feels bad spending so much of his hard-earned money on the high-fashion stuff. Also he can frequently be spotted wearing those compression gloves/braces on his hands, for carpal tunnel syndrome Jewellery: A couple necklaces that have no emotional attachment besides "I thought they were cool so I bought them", but he's never without them, even when they mostly just hang inside his shirts. Dabbles in rings if he's feeling fancy. Allergies: None Diet: Consists of mostly snacks. He occasionally buys the healthy kind, like a couple granola bars or some fruit, but if he's going through a big project, he'll only snack. Anything easy to eat with one hand goes. He does, however, understand the value of nutrition and that he needs to fuel his body properly every once in a while; when that happens, he resorts to ordering food from some healthy restaurant nearby. It's basically a couple salads a month and then nothing but Doritos for days straight. Physical ailments: Carpal tunnel syndrome happens often enough that it's almost chronic, because he doesn't usually take breaks or stretch his wrists out like he's supposed to. Back pain from sitting all day (and bad posture) is also so present that he barely notices it anymore.

Psychology

MBTI type: INTJ Enneagram type: Type Five Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Temperament: Somewhere between Phlegmatic and Melancholic? Element: Water Emotional stability: Who is she! Introvert or Extrovert? Introvert Obsession(s): Outdoing his siblings, no matter how much he loves them Compulsion(s): Working to the point of forgetting to take care of himself Phobia(s): Acrophobia and atychiphobia Addiction(s): Cigarettes/Vaping Drug use: Sometimes wrongly and terribly pops an Adderall when pulling all-nighters. Has smoked weed before, but he doesn't love the slowness of when he gets high. Alcohol use: Not very often nowadays, but the occasional blackout still happens. He's known to become a completely different person when he drinks, much more loose and fun and happy, so he does it sparingly Prone to violence?: No Prone to crying?: No Believe in love at first sight?: Yes, but doesn't think he's the type to ever experience that, since it takes a while for him to get close to people, so he believes in it as an abstract concept

Mannerisms

Accent: RP English Speech quirks: A lot of pauses between words and sentences, since he often thinks a lot before he speaks. The occasional ums and uhs and some stuttering if his mind is working faster than he can speak, too. Hobbies: Photography, playing video games, reading novels (graphic or otherwise), finding passive-aggressive memes to send into the Gamal siblings groupchat Habits: Stealing wifi, smoking and vaping, ordering delivery of everything instead of getting it himself Nervous ticks: lip chewing, tapping fingers, bouncing one knee, scratching his neck/jaw or touching his nose Drives/motivations: It's all for the glory, babey Fears: Never achieving anything grand Sense of humour?: It goes as far as memes and roasting his loved ones, but not much further than that. He's usually not comfortable enough to crack jokes, but you might get a sarcastic comment or two if you're lucky. Deep down, he can be sharp and quick-witted, but it doesn't come out often, unless he's having drinks. Do they curse often?: Hecc yes, probably as a form of rebellion against his posh parents

Favourites

Animal: Tarsier Beverage: Strong black coffee with two spoons of sugar Book: Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes Colour: Green Food: Zalabya Flower: Jasmine Gem: Peridot Mode of transportation: Walking, and if not, the metro Scent: Oranges Sport: Tennis Weather: Rainy enough that he doesn't feel anyone's judgement for staying inside all day Vacation destination: Japan

Attitudes

Greatest dream: Finally being famous for his work Greatest fear: Never achieving anything big enough to make him happy, and being forever miserable because of it Most at ease when: Left by himself or enjoying someone else's company that he's truly comfortable with, probably in silence, doing his own thing Least as ease when: Forced into environments where he has to put on fancy clothes and pretend to be enjoying himself when he's not. Alternatively: when he's going on hour 32 without any sleep and he's denied more coffee Worst possible thing that could happen: Achieving greatness but realising he needs something else in order to feel fulfilled and be happy Biggest achievement: His degree and hopefully the first working Time Machine Biggest regret: He doesn't like to say he regrets things, so there's nothing he'd call a huge regret. But if he had to say something, he'd probably say it was not telling that one high school crush that he liked them.

[aweirdkindofyellow]

The J.A.C.I.E. Project, Pt. 1

JACIE Jay-see \ d͡ʒˈe͡ɪsi \ See Jennifer Anna Clara Isabell Evans. An ambitious 21-year-old music student, striving to find her place in the industry.

JACK Jak \ d͡ʒæk \ A guy ten years older than Jacie, who takes a liking to her.

Chapter 1

My name’s Jacie. That’s Jacie with a c-i-e, not a s-e-y. It’s also not Casey. Just Jacie. Actually, that’s a lie, it’s Jennifer Anna Clara Isabell Evans, but I go by Jacie. It’s more like an acronym, really. None of my actual names ever sat right with me. When I was five years old, I was writing out my initials under a drawing and declared that I wanted to be called Jacie from there on out. Somehow both my parents entertained the idea and it stuck since.

They never agreed on anything. My parents, that is. Never. How they ever got married was beyond me. They couldn’t even agree on a name for me. My dad wanted to name me Jennifer Anna, and my mom wanted to name me Clara Isabell. There was not a single compromise that either of them could make. The only reason Jennifer Anna came first was because my dad was the one who got to write my names down for the birth certificate. It was only a good thing, otherwise I would have never found J.A.C.I.E. I honestly still do not know how they managed to stay together long enough to have my little brother, Benjamin Tobias Evans.

Ben was the light of my life. He was fourteen years younger than I was, making him six. The only reason why he had two names and not four like me was because I named him. Yet again, our parents couldn’t come to an agreement, so they gave me the honour. Not the greatest choice. I was thirteen when I made that decision and thought it sounded like a cool name from a young adult book. But, hey, at least he wasn’t named Jennifer Anna Clara Isabell Evans. Ben, or Benny as I sometimes liked calling him, was a very acceptable name.

He never got to know what life was like with two parents. My mom had left by the time he was one, they divorced soon after, and then my dad got full custody and my mom only had visitation rights. I was glad the court favoured my dad even though he also came with his downsides. Anything was better than the constant need for disagreement, though. Something in me knew it wasn’t even about differing opinions, it was about always wanting to be opposing the other’s view.

Luckily Ben never had to witness any of that. I spent many days in my life wondering why they wouldn’t get a divorce. It was the best for everybody even though it was so confusing. Anything was better than the screaming and unbearable bickering.

My little brother was the only reason I was where I was in life. I wanted to set a good example for him, that anything was possible as long as you put your mind to it. He didn’t exactly have a good role model in my mom, who was always more suited for the single life than the family life. Although he was only six, I wanted to show him that there was a way to have everything. I had a social life, good grades, and managed to work my ass off as well. It was possible. Hard, but possible.

I was in my last year of my college degree. I studied the very broad subject of music. My college did offer specialist courses, but when I began, I had no idea where I wanted to take it. Now, a few months over two years later, I knew it a lot better. Although I enjoyed performing, I liked the songwriting process just a little more. Better to say, I loved songwriting and producing. I also realised that this wasn’t a field I could just hop in and hope to get a good job in. I needed to do more to stand out.

That’s where internships came in. I knew I needed to get myself some work experience before I was thrown out into the real world. Nowadays there was no way to get a job anywhere unless you had five years experience in some software that had only been available for a year. I was sure to get ahead of that. I signed up for every internship that was even remotely relevant. It was the only way, especially with how competitive it all was in L.A.

And that’s how I ended up at the Fueled by Ramen L.A. offices. It was one competitive place. Rather than just coming in for one single interview. They had us come in in groups. It reminded me a lot of college orientation. We were shown around, trying to convince us to work there. But really, there was a large group of people and only two of us were going to be picked. Pretty torturous if you asked me; showing us how great it would be while not giving us the job. It was what it was.

I was standing there leaning against a wall after our tour was done, waiting for my name to be called up for our individual interviews. A water fountain was right next to me, meaning the others around me would often come up for a sip of water, giving me the usual awkward nod. It was all so strange and silent. We were waiting outside meeting rooms which were being used. Even if anybody wanted to, we couldn’t say much more than a quiet whisper.

All I could really do to fill the time was stare ahead, over everybody else, right at the wall at the end of the hallway, and tightly hold onto my folder. It had things such as my CV, the printed information sheet they wanted filled out, and other items I thought would help me look good.

There was this meeting going on in the meeting room just past the water fountain that had started even before we all arrived here. It seemed like quite the serious one. Not that I expected anything less. But there were quite a few people in there discussing something. It could only be important.

At one point, however, the frosted glass door opened and somebody walked out. I didn’t even bother to look in the direction of the movement. Considering that I actually did need an internship, I didn’t want to stare as they left the room, making them uncomfortable and feel like they’re being judged. We’ve all been there before. It’s not great.

They walked up to the water fountain, leaning over and taking a quick drink. I just shuffled over a little to give them some more space, assuming they’d leave in no time. But then I noticed a pair of eyes staring right at me. I finally looked at the person who had left the meeting and saw a guy. He definitely had either dark brown or black hair naturally, but now it was bleached to an ash blonde. I mean, it definitely didn’t look like his real hair colour with that black beard and those bushy eyebrows.

“Hi.” He smiled as soon as I made eye contact with him.

“Hello.” I nodded back politely.

“What’s going on here?” He asked in a whispered tone as he scanned the hallway full of people.

“We’re all here for internship interviews.” I shrugged and held my folder a bit tighter, matching how quiet he was being. “Only two of us will actually get it, though.”

He whistled lowly and squinted his eyes just a little. “What do you think your chances are?”

I hummed, taking another look at everybody around me. “Not that great, to be honest. I’m the youngest here.”

“Age doesn’t matter.”

“It does in the job world, unfortunately,” I corrected, briefly taking another glance at him. He was pretty good looking really. “Either way, I’m sure there’s people here who are more suited for the positions. I’m not really the ‘Experience Management’ type.”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow and gave me a small smirk. “What type are you then?”

“More of the songwriting and producing type,” I confessed. Maybe it wasn’t great to tell somebody here that I didn’t feel like I was a good fit when I was just minutes away from going to an interview to convince them that I was the best candidate.

“Oooh,” he approved with a big sexy grin, “the best part.”

“Are you in the music sector?”

“I am indeed, yes.”

Then something hit me. I was in some record label’s office after all. “Is that why some people here are staring nervously at you?”

“Yup.”

“Nice.” I gave him a respectful nod. “Signed artist.”

“You know it.” A sly smirk appeared on his face. Before the conversation had a chance to die down, for him to part ways with me and get back to his meeting, he quickly added, “what’s your name?”

I subconsciously looked down at that information sheet I was holding on top of my folder and answered. “Jacie.”

“Are you giving me a fake name?” He happened to take a peak at what I was looking at and saw what I had scribbled down on the paper.

“No.” I shook my head and gave him a little more access, pointing at each of my names individually. “J, A, C, I, E. That’s Jacie.”

“Wow, that’s a signed artist thing to do,” he laughed softly.

“Tell five-year-old Jennifer that,” I sighed and gave him a disappointed look. “Always the diva.”

He gave me a good look over and the smirk returned yet again. “You wanna go out for drinks tomorrow evening?”

I pursed my lips together. “I actually already have plans then.”

“Oh, do you?” He challenged.

“You see, I’m turning a measly twenty-one tomorrow, so I’ve got quite a few other things on my roster.”

“Twenty-one,” he breathed out, “you are indeed a young one.”

“Hey, I warned you,” I defended myself.

Before the flirting could continue for any longer, the name ‘Jennifer Evans’ was called out. It was time to leave the hot guy, who’s name I didn’t even know, behind. I pushed myself off the wall and gave him a salute before walking myself to the dreadful interview room.

[studyblxrr]

Singapore Scholarship Interview Questions and Experience

Overview of scholars’ programmes and scholarships for which I went for interviews:

Scholars’ Programmes: 1. National University of Singapore (NUS): University Scholars’ Programme (USP) 2. National Technological University (NTU): CN Yang Scholars’ Programme

Scholarships: 1. Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore Local and Overseas Scholarships (CAAS) (2 rounds) 2. National Technological University: Nanyang Scholarship 3. National University of Singapore: NUS Merit Scholarship (2nd tier; 1st round)

This post has been long overdue but... After my GCE ‘A’ Level a couple years ago, I applied for a number of scholarships and scholars’ programme locally. However, when I was shortlisted for the interviews for these, I realised there were very few platforms on which they actually shared in-depth information about how the interviews are conducted so now that I’m kind of done with all my interviews, I’ve decided to compile everything I went through and share it with you guys. I was actually also just shortlisted for the MOH Healthcare Merit Award / Scholarship interview, but declined to attend it (so I’m sorry to those who were curious to know what the interview would be like) because I’ve decided to enrol into CN Yang Scholars’ Programme. I’ll give you a breakdown of the reasons why in a bit. All right, enough rambling, now it begins!

CAAS Scholarship Interview 

Result: Not offered (honestly because I did ZERO preparation for the actual interview lol halp) 

There were two rounds of interviews for this scholarship. The first involved something like a ‘roleplay’ where we discussed how we would solve a simulated issue. I passed this round. Honestly, just speak up and try to ‘put yourself out there’ more, so that the interviewer / observer can hear your opinions better and ‘get to know you’ more easily. 

The second round of interview is way more formal, with a panel including about 4 management/executive-level guys. I’m pretty sure one of the Directors was there. Since I did not pass this round, I won’t share my answers back then, but I think the trick is to really read up on Singaporean current affairs beforehand, read some opinion pieces (maybe from the newspapers forums), and know about CAAS well!!

The Interview Questions: 

1. Tell us about yourself.  2. What are some of your strengths and weaknesses?  3. What do you know about CAAS? 

4. Do you think females should also partake in NS? --> I answered this question very poorly (I think), but the interviewer then told me that I could’ve said something like... ‘females also serve the country in different ways, such as in the public sector, in their daily contributions to the workforce and even taking care of their children and their families for the future...and military / NS is not the only way one can contribute to Singapore’s society’ 

I can’t really recall the rest of the questions, but good luck! 

NUS USP Interview 

Result: Offered Summary of benefits: Basically a programme that entails 2 years of compulsary on-campus living (NOT sponsored accommodation, but simply a requirement of the programme) that focuses on critical thinking skills and nurturing all-rounded thinking regardless of courses pursued; known to be pretty rigorous, involving classes even after ‘lesson hours’ and intensive writing; according to my seniors, this programme really trains your writing skills so it kind of helps in the long run, with writing theses and all that. pretty cool programme imo.

The Interview: this was a pretty chill, casual interview if i’m completely honest. there were 2 interviewers -- a prof of the programme and a USP alumni.

Q: Tell us about yourself, in terms of how your life has been and what got you interested in USP. A: Well, I’d like to think that I have led quite a unique life in that I spent the first 10 years of my life living in Malaysia. And because my entire childhood was spent there close to nature, it shaped my thinking such that I have a greater appreciation for more hands-on and experiential learning. So, even when I came to Singapore for primary education onwards, I was constantly seeking ways to achieve a more balanced, and exciting education path for myself. For instance, in secondary school, I tried my hand in community service, which made me realise my passion for people (etc. etc. etc.); and then in Junior College, I decided to pick up photography because I realised that I was lacking the more ‘artistic’ aspect of life. So I did that, alongside my original interest in community service, which I continued to pursue with my own self-initiated Fundraising projects. Why I’m interested in USP is because I realised that there are multiple tiers to it that allow me to be exposed to a wider variety of knowledge fields and skill sets, and also more abstract and humanities-focused courses even though I’m interested in joining a science course.

Q: You mentioned that you spent the first 10 years of your life in Malaysia, can you tell us more about what you think of the sense of rootedness you have towards Singapore vs Malaysia? A: (I’m assuming this is pretty specific towards my previous answer and probably none of you will be asked this as well so I’ll skip on what I replied; but I gave a pretty neutral answer, saying that I’m thankful towards M’sia for having shaped me as a child to think the way that I do today, and towards S’pore for the opportunities I have had to grow even more as a more mature person etc.)

Q: What was your community service project about and what did you learn from it? A: It was a fundraising project that aimed to raise funds so that the organisation we were working with would be able to continue to sustain its operations, and fulfil its aim of keeping all its programmes free of charge. Because I was the student leader of this project, I was in charge of coordinating recruitment, attendance as well as liaising with managements to host our fundraising events. So through these, I was able to learn how to communicate better with others and negotiate for better terms for my project. Because I was doing this along with exams, and another year-long tuition programme for less fortunate children, I also learnt to manage my stress and the importance of pacing myself so that I would not overwork and burn out.

Q: Speaking of non-profit organisations, what do you think of them in general? A: I feel like ultimately, non-profit organisations are still businesses that require a certain amount of profit and/or revenue to continue sustaining their operations. So, in the end it’s still a lot of communicating with other for-profit businesses to sell their efforts so that they would be sponsored, and so that others would be enticed to give back to the community by helping to sustain the non-profit organisations. My fundraising project was actually able to give me more insight into the behind-the-scenes of running a non-profit organisation, and we realised that even donations had to be audited and checked, and the staff still had to be paid. etc. etc. etc.

Q: What do you think sets you apart from your peers such that you will be able to excel under USP? A: I believe that I have the passion and the drive to keep up with the rigorous programmes and classes at USP. I am also very ambitious, so I will constantly strive to improve myself. Because I’ve always been very receptive to both the sciences and the humanities and have equal appreciation for both, I am also confident in understanding and adapting to the style of USP. I also think that because of my experiences, I will also be able to bring more unique ideas to the table as USP and contribute to more meaningful discussions.

NTU CN Yang Scholars’ Programme Interview

Result: Offered Summary of benefits: Includes the Nanyang Scholarship and guaranteed overseas final year research project (5 to 8 months), guaranteed overseas exchange for one semester, guaranteed four years of stay in NTU halls of residence, opportunities for research attachment from Year One onwards, opportunities to attend an international conference with full subsidy, opportunities to meet top leading scientists and academics, opportunities for PhD study at NTU or Joint PhD with partner university (Minimum CGPA of 4.00 for application of a scholarship from NTU)

The Interview: again, a pretty chill, pretty brief interview. there was only 1 interviewer.

Q: Tell me briefly about yourself. A: (summarised achievements + passions/interests)

Q: Do you intend to do a PhD after you graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree? A: Yes, because........ (just talk about furthering your passions and a PhD honing new skills...)

To be honest, the rest of the interview was mostly the interviewer explaining what the scholarship and scholars’ programme would entail. It was quite an easy breezy interview.

NTU Nanyang Scholarship Interview (under SCBE) 

As my first-choice course was Chemical Engineering, naturally I had my Nanyang Scholarship interview under the School of Chemical and Biomedical Engineering (SCBE), with the Academic Chair and an administrative staff as the interviewers. 

Result: Offered along with ADDITIONAL LEAD AWARD  Summary of Nanyang Scholarship benefits: Full coverage of subsidised tuition fees (after Tuition Grant), Living allowance of S$6,500 per academic year, Accommodation allowance of up to S$2,000 per academic year (Applicable to scholarship holders who reside in NTU hostels only), Travel grant of S$5,000 for an overseas programme (one-off), Computer allowance of S$1,750 (one-off)

Summary of LEAD Award benefits: can expect up to SGD$6,000 reward in the form of one of the following four options: (1) $1,500 cash award per semester (max 4 semesters); or (2) Overseas Internship for 2 months at MIT or other world renowned overseas laboratories for research; or (3) Leadership development/ conference/ workshop; or (4) Overseas study trip

--> Trick: if you ever get such a top-up award, just opt for the cash grant as that’s the easiest to reap the full benefit. You’re better off sourcing for your own internships, as the MIT ones are not guaranteed to be available for your cohort, or there might be more administrative procedures for that. 

The Interview: 

Q: Tell me about yourself.  A: (summarised achievements + passions/interests) -- you can talk a little bit about why you chose to study your course of choice 

Q: Tell me more about your leadership positions in JC and secondary school.  A: (again, summarise your achievements - phrase them in such a way that you end with a positive result that YOU helped to achieve) 

More follow-up questions about past work experiences...honestly, just answer from your heart and be truthful. They don’t bite. 

Afterwards, they pretty much just started telling me about the scholarship and how I can benefit from it. Following that, they offered me the LEAD Award top-up, which I did NOT see coming but was very flattered by. 

NUS Merit Award Interview (under Faculty of Science, Pharmacy)

Result: Offered Merit Award (2nd tier) Summary of benefits: Tuition fees (after MOE Tuition Grant subsidy), S$6,000 annual living allowance, S$2,000 one-time computer allowance upon enrolment, Guaranteed an offer of a 1-semester Student Exchange Programme (SEP) with one of NUS’ overseas partner universities, Guaranteed offers of on-campus accommodation for the first 2 years of undergraduate studies, provided the Scholar submits a complete hostel admission application every year within the prescribed application periods, and fulfils NUS’s eligibility criteria for NUS on-campus accommodation.

The Interview:

I have to say that this was one of my worst interview experiences. The questions were pretty standard at first, asking about (again) yourself, your past experiences, why you chose your course of study. But after a while it took a dark turn. So, by this point I’d already been accepted into the Pharmacy course, so I was merely interviewing for the scholarship and NOT the course. Yet, the interviewer (one of 3 in the panel) started to bombard me with questions about why I got a B in A Level Chemistry (FYI: I had all A’s and a B in H2 Chem), what went wrong (his words, not mine), why I deserved to be given a scholarship IN SPITE OF THE ‘B’, what I will do to overcome this stupid shortcoming...... blah blah blah EXTREMELY TERRIBLE AND ELITIST INTERVIEWER.

But again, that was my experience. I could’ve just gotten a really mean interviewer. Just go in with an open mind. But I left the interview feeling really looked down on and...shamed. Which is sad because now that I am way past that, I wish I had gone back in and told him that grades are not what make a person. 

And with that, we have come to the end of this reeeeeeally long (and overdue) post. 

If any of you guys have anything to ask me about scholarships / scholarship application processes in Singapore, feel free hit me up in the ask box! :) Hehe. 

Oh, and if you were curious, I accepted the C N Yang Scholarship + Nanyang Scholarship (with SCBE LEAD Award) in the end. If you would like me to talk more about how I am finding NTU life, how each Scholars’ Programme works, how I am benefitting from my scholarship, and so on, do ask away! (https://studyblxrr.tumblr.com/ask)

PS. For those of you who might be curious, my profile of entry was A’s in H2 Biology, H2 Math, H2 Econs, GP, PW and a B in H2 Chemistry. I was originally from the Raffles IP programme, with experiences in a fundraising CIP project and a year-long tutoring volunteer programme as ‘extra-curricular highlights’. 

[littlemarvelfics]

It’s a Date

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: about 1,400

Warnings: none

Square Filled: car broke down

A/N: Yes, I already messed up my proposed schedule. No, none of you should be surprised. I’m staying in the library until I get some of this stuff ready to go! New chapter of Ghost on Saturday, I promise! This is the first thing I’ve written for @marvelfluffbingo ! I’m not sure how I’m gonna work this yet. Either adding these to my masterlist or keeping a different masterlist. Any opinions, let me know! Also I clearly don’t know anything about cars, sorry my pals. Y’all can find my main masterlist here, requests (for writing or tagging) can be sent in here.

“Goddammit,” you muttered, standing over the open hood of your beat up old jeep. Everyone had warned you this would happen. Taking a nearly 15-year-old car across the country on a journey to find yourself was not the best idea. But you wouldn’t be talked out of it. Ever since you had graduated from college, you had felt a little lost. Legally Blonde had not prepared you for this. You did it, you graduated, you had gotten a degree. But what you didn’t have were job offers. No one was hiring, at least not anyone that you wanted to hire you. You understood that you had to pay your dues and you were more than fine with that. But you couldn’t do another unpaid internship. Chasing around CEO’s, grabbing them coffee and kissing ass wasn’t working for you anymore. So you hit the road, responsibilities be damned. You had enough saved up for a few months of wandering. But two weeks into your trip, you found yourself here, in the middle of nowhere.

You knew you would be no help for your car so you pulled out your phone and looked up the nearest mechanic who would hopefully take mercy on you and tow your car for you as well. The first name that popped up was “Barnes Mechanics and Towing”. Clicking the call button, you prayed for someone understand.

“Barnes Mechanics and Towing, how can I help you?” a voice answered.

“Hi! I’m uh… somewhere and my car just stopped in the middle of the road, I was hoping for a tow?” you asked hopefully.

“Yeah, of course. Do you have any idea where you are?”

You took a quick look around to try and find any street signs but you came up empty.

“No, I’m sorry. There’s no street signs or anything. But I’m by a lake and I passed a big farmhouse with a huge red barn a few miles back,” you said, hoping he knew the area well enough to find you.

“You’re in luck. I’m pretty sure I know where you are and it’s not too far from the shop. Sit tight, I’ll be there in a few.”

You said your goodbyes and ended the phone call. You spent about 15 minutes pacing back and forth on the side of the dirt road when you finally saw a tow truck come into view. The person driving backed up to your car but left enough space so he could take a look before towing you away. He got out of the car and immediately took your breath away. He was tall and muscular, long brown hair tied into a low bun at the back of his neck. He wore dark jeans and a tight teeshirt, leaving very little to the imagination.

“Hi I’m Bucky,” he said, sticking his hand out for you to shake. “We spoke on the phone?”

“Yeah, of course, I’m Y/N,” you replied, shaking his hand.

“I’m gonna take a look at the car and then we’ll figure out where to go from there, okay?”

“That sounds great, thank you.”

Bucky leaned over the hood of your car, poking and prodding with a concentrated look on his face. A few moments later, he emerged and delivered the news.

“It’s your battery. We might have one at the shop. Is there somewhere I can drop you while we work on it?”

“Um…” you trailed off. You hadn’t been planning on staying in town, you were just passing through. Staying at a hotel wasn’t your best option, you needed to save money where you could but it might be your only option.

Bucky seemed to be able to sense your worry and quickly put your mind at ease.

“I can take you back to the shop with me? There’s a diner across the street and you can hang around while we look into it.”

“That would be great actually,” you replied, relieved.

You watched as Bucky hooked your Jeep up to the back of his truck and secured it. He walked around to the passenger seat of his truck, opening the door and gesturing for you to get in.

The ride over to the shop was mostly silent except for the quiet music playing from the car stereo. Not too long after you started driving, you pulled into a dusty parking lot, a few cars scattered about. Bucky expertly backed the truck into a spot, making it easier to unhook your car.

“So there’s a diner across the street if you wanna grab a coffee or something? Or you're more than welcome to hang out in our waiting room while I look up the part you need.”

“I’ll take my chances in your waiting room," you said with a laugh.

You grabbed your bag out of your car and followed his directions to the waiting room. A beat-up couch and some folding chairs were around the room and a radio tuned to an oldies station was playing in the background. You settled into the couch and grabbed a magazine from one the tables, flipping through it absentmindedly. It wasn't long before Bucky walked in and cleared his throat to get your attention.

“You’re all set-”

“Wait really?” You asked, interrupting him.

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “We had the part so I went ahead and replaced it.”

“Awesome! How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m sorry what? I may not know much about cars but I do know that car parts aren't free.”

“Woah woah. One of the guys that works here, Sam, he's an idiot. He ordered too many parts. Consider it my good deed of the day,” he said.

“Well thank you, Bucky,” you replied. “Are you sure I can’t pay you or something?”

“Maybe a cup of coffee?” He replied with a shy smile.  

You looked at the clock on your phone.

“I would love to but I should really get back on the road. I’m sor-”

“No apologies necessary. Just an offer,” he said, cutting you off.

He handed you your keys with a smile.

“It was nice meeting you Y/N.”

“It was nice meeting you too Bucky.”

As the weeks went by, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the man who had fixed your car. The way his shirt clung to him in the summer heat or the lopsided smiles he had given you. The day after you left, you regretted not getting coffee with him. Wasn’t that the whole point of this trip? To have new experiences? Coffee with a beautiful stranger was certainly a new experience. After a few more weeks of aimless driving, you decided to turn back around and head towards home. You hadn't found a bright neon sign telling you what to do with your life but you were running low on cash. While you were driving through the town where your car broke down, you couldn't help but turn into the parking lot of Barnes Mechanics and Towing.

You hopped out the car and poked your head into the waiting room. You saw Bucky talking to a customer, he looked just as beautiful as you remembered. After waiting for him to finish talking to the customer you marched up to him.

“I don’t know why I’m here. I was passing back through and-”

You stopped talking when you took in his confused expression.

“Oh god, you don't even remember me, do you? This is mortifying. I’m gonna go bury myself alive.”

You turned to walk away when Bucky grabbed your wrist.

“Of course I remember you. Y/N, with the dead battery and the beautiful smile. I’m just surprised to see you.”

“That’s fair,” you responded with a laugh. “And if a year ago I heard myself saying this, I would kick my own ass. But I can’t stop thinking about you. I don't know if I believe in fate or divine intervention but it seems like maybe it was fate that my car stopped in the middle of the road where it did and you were the one to pick me up. I don't know what the hell I’m doing with my life but I do know that right here, right now there's a beautiful man standing in front of me and I’d really like to buy him a cup of coffee. What do you say?”

“I say it’s a date,” he replied with a grin.

Everything Tags: @sea040561@jamesbarnesappreciationsociety@quotemeow@janeyboo@randomparanoid   @hauanjsdbkss @titty-teetee

Bucky Tags: None yet

[howveryheather]

good time (the 2010s + me)

10 years of Heather... YESSSSSSS.

I mulled over various drafts of what you’re going to read today.  

There was a draft where I summed up everything, literally everything, that happened to me over the last 10 years. The more I read that draft, the more it felt increasingly like a diary entry that did not warrant publishing of any kind. 

I had a draft where I was only going to recap the good things that happened to me. That read like I had the world’s worst blinders on. 

I weebled, I wobbled, I tried to organize my thoughts using bullet points. None of it worked and all of it sounded like noise, even though I was technically going in order of the last 10 years. So, I’m just going to keep it simple and focus on the basics.

I went on two pivotal journeys in the last 10 years. The first is the start of my writing career and the second was repaying my student loans. Note that the latter half of that sentence is written in past tense. In 2019, after nine years in debt, I paid off all my loans in full! 

I want to talk about the loan journey first because it had an expiration date, even though I did used to think I was gonna die with those loans. Rather than sound like a broken record rehashing the story of how I paid everything off again, I want to share two aspects of paying off student debt that nobody talks about online. 

The first one is that once it happens, after your debt is paid in full, you’re not rich. You have a little more money every month, but you can’t go out and change your lifestyle radically. If anything, you have to remain in place a little bit longer and remain on a budget. There’s certainly irony in debt repayment. The debt is gone, but you are not exactly free yet. You have to recoup the losses. 

The other aspect of student loans is how quickly you forget about it once it’s paid off. And I mean all of it — the emotions and experience associated with loan statements and making monthly payments. I spent years lying in bed unable to sleep at night stressed out about my loans. I never think about it now. 

Paying off my debt alone was really difficult, but deep down I think I always knew that this was going to be my journey. My debt was not going to disappear, no matter how much I wished for a genie’s lamp or hoped a dead relative would throw me some bones in a will or I could magically find a spouse to marry who would assume the payments for me. I made a lot of lifestyle sacrifices to get out of debt. I prepared a few years in advance because I knew that what was ahead was going to be miserable. I remained disciplined, I treated my life with a Spartan mentality, and I crawled my way out under the 10-year deadline to freedom. Sometimes that’s what freedom looks like. It’s not a climb or a sprint to a finish line. It’s a crawl.

Onward to writing!

I was still in college at the start of 2010. Back then, I was an extremely green writer with few clips under my belt outside of an internship at the Ventura County Star and a column in The Echo (CLU’s newspaper). As a post graduate, every writing experience I have had has been a combination of good luck, timing, location, and the willingness to push myself and work hard.

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to write in the entertainment space. I always loved reading the pop culture section of the USA Today and soaked up my subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly and Premiere Magazine like a sponge. I was determined to break into entertainment however I could, and I got in on the ground floor of BettyConfidential and HelloGiggles as a contributing writer in 2011.

The early 2010s was a short-lived timeline before most of the major media moguls began buying these sites out. I remember this time as one — and everyone who started during this time will say the exact same thing, trust me — where everyone really was each other’s friend in the media space. Content felt fresh. It was new. It was also really kind. There was a lot of room to share your story and experience and receive incredible, positive feedback from readers. 

BettyConfidential... What a wonderful group! Was there anything better than waking up at 5 AM the morning after the Golden Globes to email over my best-dressed picks? (Sometimes emailed over the night before, I must admit.) I wrote my heart out in that LA Correspondent gig, covering fashion and celebrity news. It gave me so many opportunities to lead the kind of life most people who move to California never get the chance to have. I had the good fortune to go to red carpet events and awards ceremonies and gifting suites and sit in on movie sets and chat with celebrities (often in more candid spaces than is the norm) that I would never have had otherwise. Betty gave me a much-needed glimpse behind the camera of celebrity and the etiquette for how to be a reporter in this space. My experience at HelloGiggles differed from Betty in that it was much more social media driven. That was definitely the site where you earned your following and found your people in the Twitter space. 

Collectively between Betty and HG, my favorite memories were...

1) The first time I went to New York City to cover Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. I went to as many shows as I possibly could in Lincoln Center, took photos with my iPhone, stayed up writing and writing with my photos at the hotel afterwards, and did it all over again the next day for 3-4 days. I also packed very poorly for February 2012 weather. A trench coat and flats in 20 degree weather with snow... but I still looked good!

2) I went to an event celebrating L’Oreal’s 40th anniversary of their “Because I’m Worth It” tagline (an early foreshadowing of my future in writing in advertising). I wrote a nice article about the event, shared the story, and went about my merry way into the rest of my workload. A few weeks later, I received a gift in the mail from their team: a huge gift card to Saks Fifth Avenue! There has never been a Cinderella moment in my life quite like the way I spent this gift card. I went to the Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills and bought a beautiful designer day dress that I wore everywhere (and still have in my closet).

3) The first time I went to, and covered, the Pillsbury Bake-Off for HelloGiggles. (Look at all that foreshadowing!) The Pillsbury Bake-Off is such a delightful experience and not just because there’s a life-size Pillsbury Doughboy walking around either. The events are held in hotels with convention-sized rooms where one can fit 100 ovens. 100 finalists all bake at the same time and compete for a chance to win a million dollars with their recipe. Bake it like you mean it! I even had dinner one table away from Martha Stewart at the Orlando Bake-Off.

I tried not to decline any opportunities. I made everything work, as much as I could. As far as regrets go, the only event I turned down was an opportunity to go backstage and cover the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The logistics and timing were really off. There was absolutely no way I could have flown to New York in time for it... but I will always wonder what if!

In a post-Betty and HG world, which is where I was in 2014 when both gigs wrapped, I began pivoting toward a new vertical: advertising. My discussions with Advertising Week began in late 2014 and I started writing for the website in 2015. Initially, this was a situation where I filled in the gaps with whatever content I was asked to write. A lot of it had pop culture tie-ins with Mad Men. (Shout out to my brain for already being a fan of the series and intricately understanding the ins and outs of its characters that tied in with advertising’s heyday!) 

The first major series of articles I worked on were sponsored by Adobe, so there was an increased expectation to go above and beyond in the manner I wrote, the amount of research conducted in each article, and understanding the audience. I was ready to meet the challenge and was met with high praise for this hard work. During this time, I also briefly worked in transcription for Flaunt Magazine. I transcribed interviews for one of their writers, which made me feel as though I came a little full circle yet again to entertainment.

In March 2015, I received the opportunity to go to Chicago to the Museum of Broadcast Communications. It was for an event called “A Salute to Advertising’s Greatest Icons” which honored 10 of the greatest brand mascots in advertising. My favorite character, the Pillsbury Doughboy, was one of the honorees. Even more exciting, the creator of the Doughboy Rudy Perz would be in attendance. I immediately asked AW if I could cover the event and they agreed. However, a great tragedy occurred days before the event. Rudy passed away. I was completely crushed. As a lifelong Doughboy fan, I realized I would never get the chance to tell him how much of an impact that character had in my life.

In the 24 hours I spent in Chicago, I got to tour the museum space, meet and spend time in the studio of JoBe Cerny (the voice behind the Doughboy’s giggle!), and attend the event and its dinner. Each menu course was inspired by the 10 brand mascots. It was so much fun! I promptly wrote up the article and gave it to my bosses. 

This article sparked the beginning of how I have carved a name out for myself in advertising. Brand mascots. We started discussing how to create content about characters, which I jumped at the chance to write. Before long, I had written so many character-based articles that the content spilled over the website. It required its own platform, PopIcon, which officially launched in 2016.

The greatest joy of my writing career so far has undoubtedly been PopIcon. There is so much to cover that I have gone through stages in writing. The initial stages of introducing the character to the world, the stage of updating everyone on the character’s current events (these critters are more active than you think!), and the historical narrative behind the mascot. There is only so much information a PR person can provide you before you can’t work with a one-sheet condensed timeline anymore. You have to get out there and behave like a journalist, finding creatives to talk to and share their stories. My favorite thing is when someone tells me that they have nothing to say. Then, they launch into a narrative of what life behind the scenes was like animating Lefty from Hamburger Helper or recruiting a voiceover actor for an ad campaign. That’s a lot to say! There is no absolutely story that is too small. Every bit of it is history and it has a place to be shared.

I struggle to pick my favorite PopIcon piece. At any given point, every article I have written has been my favorite. They are all jewels in a crown to me, which is a unique way to view your writing. Really, it’s how I hope every writer views their body of work as it grows and progresses.

However, if you must read anything... try these pieces on for size!

Leo Burnett’s Oral History, As Told By 8 Former Creatives (Part One & Two)

Putting The “Kool” Back In Kool-Aid

How Seth Werner Turned A Cluster Of Grapes Into The California Raisins

Monsters! A Brief History Of The Monster Cereals Icons

Ken Stewart, Creator Of The Coca-Cola Polar Bears, Reflects On Their 25th Anniversary

AW has been responsible for sending me back to New York City. In 2017, I went to New York to attend my first #AWNewYork event. My articles ran in their print publication, I hosted a panel, and I appeared on NASDAQ’s Closing Bell ceremonies live on CNBC and HLN. In 2018, I did the same rounds plus an Icons Gala which I worked on at the same time I was paying off my student loans. The Icons Gala was a massive success and I am so proud of it because it was really tough work. And in 2019, I came back for another #AWNewYork event and celebrated with all my mascot buddies once again. 

Outside of PopIcon, I have my hand stuck in a series of freelance honey pots. I always like to keep the wheel rotating, as a means of avoiding stagnation and growing my work. It never ceases to amaze me where the wheel naturally rotates next. I wrote for Brit + Co when I lived in Orange County in 2016. I had a few pieces run on The Drum. I wrote for Ed2010 for two years, which felt like a return to my roots because Ed was the reason I got in with BettyConfidential. I still write with Business Insider, Coin, and Fairygodboss, all outlets I’ve been with for a few years now (minus Coin which started in 2019). Weirdly enough, I was fact checked in an obituary this year in The New York Times.

“Dabble in something new” was my fortune I received from a fortune cookie in the spring of 2019. Good timing. What could I do next that felt new? Where could I start to grow?

I have had my eye on weddings for awhile now, in more ways than one. You can’t help but notice when everyone you know is getting married. You really can’t help it when you’ve been a bridesmaid three times. When I think of the last frontiers of verticals where pure joy exists, it all goes back to basic life rituals. Marriage is one seeped in love, history, and etiquette. I started writing with the aptly-named wedding app Joy a few months ago. Finally, I was able to break into modern wedding editorial.

That has been the last ten years of my writing career, in a nutshell. Upon writing this out, I realized just how lucky and fortunate I am that everything looks so neatly tied together. The gaps have been few and far in between. Regardless of what was going on in my personal life or when things were difficult, doors kept opening for me. And I did everything I could to walk in when it happened.

Doesn’t it look like the land of Oz over here sometimes? It has been 10 years. If you juggled this much writing on top of a full-time job, nonstop for a decade while aging from a twentysomething into your thirties, you would probably run into some issues keeping your self-sustained sausage factory running. It’s not a realistic story if the heroine isn’t facing growing pains.

I am not a perfect writer. I’m never going to act like the Heather cup of tea is for everyone to drink up because it’s not. 

I have had countless nights where I have been up late writing, researching, or editing drafts. My interviews with creatives sometimes last for a few hours. I have procrastinated my workload until the last possible minute, leaving me frantically pinned against a wall pushing all the puzzle pieces around until they fit in the eleventh, in the twelfth, hour. 

I’ve had my brain switch completely off into a “duhhhhhhhh” setting. In this setting, I shut myself in and watch reruns of TV shows I have already seen before. I have to mentally peace out from the world. This is because operating at eleven every single day takes a lot out of you. 

I have been rejected by a few outlets. Totally happens. I have also been told I am overqualified on more than one occasion. 

In 2019, I finally seized the opportunity to buy my domain, which was not previously available, and create a space for my work. 

I’ve learned a lot about one other person in the last decade: myself.

I know exactly who I am. I’ve hit reset on my life multiple times over the last 10 years, switching jobs, cities, and freelance work. I can reinvent some of me, but I can never leave myself behind. Nor would I ever want to do that. I love myself. She is still a work in progress, but it is progress I will do anything for, even if it means crawling alone for years on end. I do it for her.

Everything is up to timing. In time, everything will be as it is supposed to. That time will be the right time. 

If you are ever unsure of what to do next, look to the past for guidance. Everything I loved as a child is coming full circle into my life as an adult. 

I think the greatest thing I can do, now and in the next decade, is to continually work at making the younger version of me happy with her adult self. If the 10-year-old version of you could see you now, what would she think? Would she be proud of the person you grew up to become? Certainly I think the younger version of me is probably a little upset I don’t read as many books as I did in my Scholastic book club days (I’m working on it!). But, I do think she would be pleased with the woman I am in 2019. The things I have already accomplished and feathers in my hat. My personality and work ethic. The dreams ahead of me and the goals I still have left to achieve. 

While I have no idea where I will go in the next 10 years, I am excited to see everything that comes my way in 2020 and beyond. I will keep writing. I will keep working. And I will continue to keep not telling anyone what I’m doing until it happens. I have found life is a lot more fun when you whip out a good, unconventional “surprise!” on everyone that nobody saw coming.

Keep your pen at the ready. It’s gonna be a good time.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

jobs rant:

so i follow my area’s local job board on facebook, right. there’s this girl around my age (23) I think, who constantly posts about urgently needing “any type of job” in retail or a job in beauty therapy/hairdressing etc bc she’s got the qualifications in those fields. but it’s not her posts that annoy me (bc feels girl) but the people that comment on them, because a load of baby boomers hop on the post and say the following things:

(1.) boomer 1:“look here, you stupid girl, stop whinging! go hand out your resume in shops and meet them!” 

problem 1). hmm yeah go fuck yourself Martha. loads of people my age attest to doing what Martha suggested and get told to “just go apply online, we don’t take hard copy resumes!” or they spend whole days handing out resumes with only one shop taking them  bc they had a sign in the window. but does Martha listen to that? nope.

(2.) boomer 2: “how about you go in and ask for some work experience for 3 days a week, and offer to do it for free or like $5 an hour?” 

problem 2.) your suggestion is literally fucking illegal in Australia, Tessa, unless it’s part of a tafe or uni course (and you either don’t get paid or you get decently paid (hopefully) paid work experience). 

(3.) boomer 3 sometimes also in response to boomer/problem 2:  “oh but the above shows your initiative! because you’re not seeing a problem, but a solution! there’s only solutions! just stop bitching and start at the bottom just like all the others before you. you entitled brat.”

problem 3.) ??? no, Marcus, you fuck, I actually need fair pay and a real fucking job. getting either severely underpaid or not paid at all is NOT A SOLUTION, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. EVEN IF IT IS JUST FOR EXPERIENCE. IT’S NOT SHOWING INITIATIVE IF I’M BEING USED AS FREE FUCKING LABOUR!!!!! HOW THE HELL ARE PEOPLE WHO LIVE OUT OF HOME SUPPOSED TO PAY THEIR BILLS OR RENT WITH VERY LITTLE PAY OR NO PAY AT ALL????!!!!! GO EAT SHIT FROM YOUR OWN BOTTOM MATE, IF WE’RE STARTING FROM THERE.”

(4.) boomer 4: how about you just pawn your stuff off then, you spoilt brat?” / just apply for maccas/or another fast food place!”

problem 4.) you see, Leanne, i’m in the midst of applying for several fucking grad positions (which f.y.i are proper jobs outside of uni) and several other fucking jobs, including unpaid internships. i’ve applied to some fast food places before, and they’ve told me directly that they DO NOT WANT ME AT ALL bc it’s far easier and cheaper for them to employ a 15/16 year old, than employing a 23yo who actually knows what they should be paid, and not a kid who doesn’t know anything about fair work and wages. also as someone with a degree and a diploma etc, they straight up tell me i’m too overqualified and that i’ll expect too much pay so they don’t want me bc of that. also what fuck is this pawning my stuff off bullshit??? what the actual FUCK does that have to do with this??? 

(5.) boomer 5: “the job market isn’t insecure you imbecile, only you are because you obviously can’t get a job like that! learn to be more confident and maybe you’ll get one. stop being soooooo needy, and one will find you! look for more opps!” 

problem 5.) the job market isn’t insecure, Brenton? sure you can fucking say that when you’re a boomer who refuses to leave their fucking job. that’s fucking rich. but be more confident and a job will find you??? really?? thanks for the absolute bullshit mate. i’m done here. actually i’m not done! what the fuck is this “stop being sooooo needy” bs??? i’m sorry that i need some meagre ass fucking money to literally fucking survive in this horrendous capitalist hellscape you helped create, Brenton. look for more opportunities??? mate i’ve applied to like 300 bs “opportunities” nearly all of which exploit young workers to the fullest extent. hell, a good bulk of them i dont even have the quals or requirements for! ALSO, MOST OF THEM ARE INTERNSHIPS AND THEY’RE MOSTLY UNPAID OR ONLY PAID FOR ONE DAY A WEEK!! (so only $300). just.... now im done. go fuck yourself.

boomer 6: “go get a useful qualification (to attack uni/college etc quals) or *insert some other work related thing like an responsible service of alcohol (RSA) & RCG (responsible conduct of gambling or w/e it is) card here or a barista course here* or if you can’t afford it, save for it maybe??? if you’ve been to uni maybe you’d have the sense to know that much????”

problem 6.) honestly every millennial is sick of hearing this Mildred. no qualification is guaranteed to get you a job anymore, you hack. but also.... but have you ever considered how expensive an RSA or an RCG is or a combined one is??? (for reference a combined rsa&rcg in my state, new south wales, is $240)  or even a barista course???? (again for reference a barista course is anywhere between $120-$200)... like im sure for people who are living out of home, that their rent and bills are far, far more important to pay than some bullshit courses that cost like half of their fucking rent money. 

boomer 7: GO VOLUNTEER! YOU LEARN AMAZING NEW SKILLS (blah blah blah)!!!”

problem 7.) ok Mick, yes i know volunteering is a good thing.... i practically had its “importance” forcefully shoved down my throat at uni.... but consider this: only those who have some spare money around can typically afford this option, because it’s largely not paid. and if it is paid, you don’t get paid much.... but of course that all depends on the provider. you can go on about all the new skills you get from volunteering all day fucking long. but like. for most “millennials”, as you condescendingly call us, it is not fucking feasible if they have literally ZERO funds, like myself. i couldn’t afford to do the volunteer blogger position i tried to do at uni. so i ultimately gave it up.

honestly, the only boomers or maybe gen xers (who knows really) that i like who comment on these posts, are the ones who commiserate with us jobless 20-somethings about their teenage or sometimes fellow 20-something son/s or daughter/s trying to get a job.... but always getting rejected bc of their complete lack of experience (i.e. they have none) or whatever else.  

anyway that’s my dramatic rant of the month of january over lmao.

[echodrops]

I was thinking of doing an English literature degree in university and was looking into the possibility of becoming a professor. I was wondering about the process of becoming a professor. As in, what type of further degree did you have to get and what was the course load like? Also what exactly does being a professor entail? Do you do research as well as lecturing? I’m sorry for bothering you with this, it’s just that you always explain things well and I don’t know any professors in real life.

Sure, I don’t mind answering these kinds of questions at all!

What type of further degree did you have to get and what was the course load like?

For reference, I have a Masters degree of Fine Arts (in Poetry) which is, for the moment, still considered a terminal degree in the creative writing field, although the Ph.D. is becoming super popular now.

In order to teach at the college level at any accredited institution, you must have a minimum of 18 graduate level credit hours in your chosen field. I.e., you would need at least 18 credits (about 2.5 semesters) of a graduate program in English in order to teach any English college-level courses.

In today’s market, it would be extremely difficult to get any full-time teaching position without having completed at least a Masters degree, so if you want to become a professor, plan on going to graduate school.

Some good news though: Many English graduate programs are generously to fully funded, which means that you’re a lot less likely to leave graduate school with crippling student loan debt than you would be if you went to graduate school in another field like business or medicine. Don’t go to a graduate school that isn’t covering a large portion of your tuition costs. If they don’t offer you good financial aid, just say no thanks!

In terms of what degree you should pursue specifically, that depends on your interest, but three degrees that feed directly into English professor positions, in order of most likely to be hired, are:

Master in Rhetoric and Composition (this is the most likely to get you a job, but personally I would have found a degree like this boring as dirt)

Master in Literature (if you like analyzing other people’s writing, this is where you go; this degree is a double-edged sword though. You can specialize here and get into some really, really niche stuff that you love to death–but if no schools out there need your niche literary background, you may be a less appealing job candidate than the Rhet/Comp person above)

Master in Creative Writing/Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing (if you like writing your own stuff, this is the route to go; you will come out of this kind of program fully qualified to teach general English courses. Double-edged sword again though–EVERY school needs people who are experienced in teaching English 101… Not every schools needs someone experienced in teaching, say… Introduction to Poetry)

Course load in graduate programs is more tolerable than undergraduate programs. 12 credits is the minimum to qualify as full-time in undergrad, while 9 is considered full-time for most grad programs. You’ll take fewer classes to get a Master’s degree than an Bachelor’s.

That said, be ready for a completely different vibe and expectation level. People who go to grad school aren’t fucking around. Someone in my program got a B in one of our classes and that was enough to put her on academic probation. My friend, who also went to grad school for English, got an A- that she STILL feels guilty about to this day. So it’s less classes, but the expectation is that you will bring your absolute highest effort to the table in each class and engage fully with the material. (To be honest though, I feel like a lot of graduate-level professors are more chill than undergrad professors; there were “A” grades I worked A LOT harder for in undergrad than some of the “A”s I got in grad school.)

Also what exactly does being a professor entail? Do you do research as well as lecturing?

I’d say there are six general parts to the day-to-day job of a professor:

1) Prep. This is getting your courses ready: writing lectures, building activities, creating homework assignments, building your syllabi, picking readings, designing discussions, etc. This takes a fuck ton more time than you will ever want it to, and you always tell yourself after you get the class done once you’ll never have to do it again, but that’s a lie, because you will find yourself updating and changing things every single semester. Your mandatory “office hours” are basically just prep time since, no matter how much you beg them, students will rarely take advantage of your office hours unless you bribe or force them.

2) Actually teaching. This is your time spent in the classroom. The LEAST time-consuming part of your job. For every hour you actually spend in the classroom, expect to spend 154680060 hours doing outside stuff like grading. If you’re confident in front of crowds, this part is the easiest thing about being a teacher. If you want to get good at the actual “teaching” part of being a professor, take drama classes. Good teachers project confidence and energy at all times in the classroom, and drama teaches you how to do this much better than any public speaking class can.

3) Grading. Hell itself. It never ends. 9/10ths of your job as an English professor is just this. I envy the professors who are out of shits to give and just circle bubbles on a rubric, but I am not that person and so I comment extensively on every single one of the assignments for every single one of my students. If you’re up at 3am in the morning, it’s probably because of this!

4) Dealing with students on a personal level. The scariest part of the job. College is an extremely stressful time in a lot of young people’s lives, and especially if you are not teaching in a rich neighborhood, your students may be experiencing very significant personal, familial, financial, etc. difficulties that severely impact their mental health and well-being. You will encounter situations that you would never expect–students bursting into tears in the middle of class, students coming into your office and telling you they’re contemplating suicide, hearing graphic stories about the students’ abusive backgrounds, and being asked directly for help in situations that are completely outside of your experience level. Because there’s such an incredible stigma against therapists, many students will bring serious mental health issues to their professors long before they would ever consider going to the school’s counseling services.

5) Committees. Dear god. The committees never end. As part of your contract at most institutions, you will be expected to be performing service to the college, aka serving on committees and task forces to do all manner of things. If you’re lucky, you can get on committees you actually care about, with coworkers you like, and then they are fun. If you’re unlucky, you get “voluntold” (aka forcibly placed) on a bunch of committees that you feel completely unpassionate about and you’ll just have to deal until they complete their purpose or fizzle out. The amount of time you put into the committee has no correlation to the amount of work the committee actually gets done.

6) Research and professional development. In the .0002 minutes you have left each week, you will either be required (if you’re at a research institution) or highly encouraged to complete research, publication writing, and professional development activities. At my institution, research is highly encouraged and publication is a sure way to get in good with administration, but professional development is required, i.e. we have to participate in conferences or development trainings throughout the year to demonstrate continued efforts to discover and employ best teaching practices. This is usually a fun part, but you will never, ever have enough time for it.

The path to becoming a professor–some advice:

If you are not yet in college, pick your college based on a combination of three factors: 1) financial aid, obviously; 2) the robustness of their English department (i.e., do they have a Writing Center you could tutor at or other internship opportunities? Do they have a chapter of Sigma Tau Delta, the English honor society? Do they send undergrads to conferences? Do they have department events like essay contests and/or writing clubs? Search the school website thoroughly for info on their department--or better yet, call and talk to them); 3) the courses taught (you should be able to access the school’s complete course catalog before applying. If you read over every course the English department offers and none of them interest you, then obviously that’s not the school for you).

If you are already in college, look for opportunities that will make your grad school applications stand out–try to get a job as a writing tutor, join the English honor society, join/sponsor a writing or book club, be on the staff of your school’s literary journal, submit your work (including essays, why not) to other literary journals, take part in any competitions you can, etc. Strong involvement in your English department will make your application to graduate programs shine.

Consider planning for a day-job after grad school, at least for a couple years. The more English experience you have on your resume, the more likely you are to earn a full-time teaching position. Landing a tenure track job right out of grad school is tragically uncommon. Plan on adjuncting for a few years to get some college-level teaching experience under your belt. It’s common for adjunct professors to teach a few classes as a side-job while they do other work, such as freelance editing, to bring home the real money. Then you can translate your courses taught as an adjunct into years of experience when you are applying for full-time positions!

Phew, sorry if that was longer than you expected!