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aritsukemo · 1 month ago

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My New Year Goals and Wishes + My Thanks

2025 is finally here and y'know what's crazy? There's a 70% chance I have either bronchitis or pneumonia. I'm actually tweaking out sooo badly rn-

That aside, 2024 had many ups and downs for me, but one of the best things that came out of it was this platform! Making Tumblr my main writing platform was def one of the best decisions I made this year, and to that, I wished to express my thanks to everyone who's made this decision such a great one!

⇻ My Followers

You all are such amazing people! I didn't do it much last year, but interacting with you all via comments, repost, etc., taking and writing your requests, and just seeing you like my works are just amazing motivators for me! It truly makes me giddy that 200 of you found my little corner of the internet and liked the place so much you decided to stay! I love you all and I hope good things like ya'll will continue to happen to me in this year to come! :D

⇻ My Mutuals

Ya'll- Omgosh where do I begin?

You guys made me so much more confident in myself! Joining Tumblr, at first, made me feel a bit overwhelmed. I had no friends on here aside from ivory, I knew nothing about Tumblr besides it being a blogging platform where people happen to write fanfics, and overall I just felt isolated and alone. Furhtermore, irl I had, and still have no one to really talk about fanfics with. I can't ramble on about my book ideas or my wips or talk about writing tips without someone growing bored of me and, ngl, I thought the same would apply here.

To be honest, as wonderful as my Wattpad days were at a time, my relationship with my followers/community was pretty rigid. I was pretty standoffish, and while I did have mutuals, it was nothing compared to my moots on here! Like, being on here and talking with my other writing moots is such a comforting thing and it's just UGHHH YA'LL ARE THE BEST AND I COULD LITERALLY MAKE A WHOLE POST ON HOW AMAZING YA'LL ARE!!

( I especially want to thank @nursedflowers! You are by far one of my favorite people to interact with on this app! Happening across your blog and befriending you by chance was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me and I hope our friendship can continue to blossom into an even more beautiful flower <3 )

⇻ Anons

Even though I know nothing about ya'll, you guys are hands down one of the most positive things on this app to me! Like, literally my favorite part of logging into Tumblr is checking my notifs and seeing an inbox from one of ya'll whether it's a request or some simple expression of praise! I feel truly cherished and loved here and ya'll are one of the main reasons why! ( Which I don't believe I deserve seeming as I barely repay ya'll.. I swear I'll work towards getting better at completing requests- 😞🙏)

⇻ Those I follow

I plan to tag some of ya'll in this just so you can see this, but to those I follow, thank you for uplifting me! I know most of you have no idea who I am, but I just wanted you guys to know that reading your amazing works, seeing your writing events, and seeing glimpses of your daily lives have brought me immense comfort! These past couple years have been by far my darkest and, to me, ya'll are like little candles keeping me lit! You guys have inspire me so much and I walk in your footsteps to hopefully one day be able to write like you all and be as fun and confident as ya'll. TLDR; thank you for existing, you and everything you create are amazing and I hope to one day be a little more like you! <3

Now onto my goals-

Every year I do this. I always love setting goals ( reasonable and unrealistic ) as it helps keep me motivated. In the past, a lot of goals I set weren't really centered around me and more so meant to appease my following, but this year I want to be a bit different. I wish to be a bit more selfish online if that makes sense. That said, here's my top five goals I wish to accomplish in these 365 days!

⇻ Paradise ( Ch. 5 - 10 )

Starting off with my pride and joy.

As I've said one hundred times already, this fanfic means a lot to me and I wish for my dreams for it to become a reality! I want to see all the moments, all the characters, all the developments and story arcs that replay in my brain play out on internet paper and I want to see your comments and reposts and likes supporting it! That said, my main goal for the year is to, at the very least, get five more chapters out! While my overall goal is to completely wipe out the Unwavering Resolve Arc ( Basically season 1 of demon slayer ), I think knocking out two of the mini arcs is much more reasonable for me to achieve! :)

⇻ Our Home ( Getting past the starting point )

While this story was originally created as a scapegoat to put off the publication of Paradise, I do yearn to see it develop as it's own story! AssClass holds a special place in my heart and though the fandom is pretty dead on here, I wish to indulge myself regardless. I don't have a specific goal for it like Paradise, but if anything, I at least wish to post the next chapter or two before the end of the year! :D

⇻ Work on other long-term fanfics ( KNY, Danganronpa, and Genshin Impact )

Over the years, I've had many ideas, and while many didn't stick enough to full on write about like Paradise or Our Home, there are a few that did that I just never wrote about because either my following didn't like my ideas, I prioritized completing requests over it, or I simply convinced myself that my currently published stuff is far more important to work on.

I have three stories in mind that have stuck with me, and while they still remain nameless, their plots are more or less fleshed out to a degree.

The first one is an enemies to lovers Muichiro x reader fanfiction that follows an original au I thought of. I very briefly talked about the idea on Wattpad a few years back and it just like..stayed in my head so here's the general synopsis of it..

Imagine you're the prince/princess/royal child of your kingdom, assigned a task to kill your fiancé after his coronation and become their ruler. You're not really distraught by this. After all, your fiancé was of the rivaling kingdom, the one that killed your beloved father and turned your kingdom into the laughing stock of the Eleven Kingdoms of Kimetsu. In your opinion, he had it comin' to him...

The only problem with this is, the young fourteen year old, your fiancé and soon-to-be king, is hopelessly smitten for you. How annoying..

Just as it implies, the story revolves around a world that's divided. From the simplistic layout I thought of, 50% would be Muzan's while the other 50% would be Ubuyashiki's with Muzan's half being more tyrannical compared to Ubuyashiki ( to play back on the original contrasts they have in KNY ).

In this au, the Hashira ( and you ) are royalty who own a small percentage of Ubuyashiki's 50%. ( While the Twelve Moon live amongst Muzan's 50% ) Each Hashira + you have their own kingdoms with there own customs & rules, powers, etc.

You and Muichiro's kingdom butt heads, your kingdom loses, and you have no choice but to brood over the loss of your father and the land lost to war for the years to come.

Years later, you receive a proposal from the Mist Kingdom. Essentially, they wish to prevent a repeat of a war between your two kingdoms and decided to mend your relationship through the marriage of you and the current king. Your family accepts the proposal, though not for the same means of peace, but because of a conniving plan to take revenge.

The plan itself is a simple one; marry the current king, kill him afterwards, and ascend to the position of ruler. ( In Muichiro's kingdom, when a monarch dies, the partner of the monarch would become ruler if they're alive. ) You initially go in with no remorse, believing that the current ruler was in his 40s and had direct dealings in your father's death only to find out that, one, the king is dead, two, the one your marry is younger than you by two years and isn't officially the king yet, and three, he's genuinely a good person who had nothing to do with your father's death and loves you with all his being.

The second one has been talked about on my blog before so I won't yap too much about it but it's a Danganronpa x Demon Slayer au fic that takes the plot of all the Danganronpa games and the characters of Demon Slayer. Also, for clarification..

It be a Y/n/reader insert

Though it'd follow the concept of the Danganronpa games, it won't be a copy and paste of them. The murders, developments, trials, etc. would all be original and unique straight from my noggin.

It won't follow a specific game in particular and would simply take ideas from all four games ( yes, that includes udg )

The third one is a genshin fanfic that follows the male traveler and reader. Essentially it's just the plot of genshin but with you added to it. Ofc, like my Paradise story, I'd give the reader depth ( I refuse to write bobblehead mcs/characters in general ) and their own backstory. In fact, I've long had ideas in mind for them! Some of which being..

They have their own 'Paimon' ( Who used to be a worldwide threat back when in wartime day who was turned into a harmless animal by Celestia because they were too powerful to kill

They're from a nation with similar concepts to Khaenri'ah ( basically a human-ran nation that has a human serving as their god ) but unlike Khaenri'ah, their nation is hated and feared by all of Teyvat

Reader has a twin who currently rules over that nation and is basically insane

The twin also has an animal companion that shares a past with your companion ( they both ran a group of powerful people who were all united under their shared hatred for the gods and Celestia due to past trauma caused by them and wished to exterminate them )

Reader is visionless but adept at the art of many weapons, martial arts, etc. Their companion in their human lifetime was able to wield all the elements as a product of a cruel experiment.

And that's just some of the ideas I had in mind.

With all this said, it'd be impossible for me to write and post all of this in one measly year on top of my other goals hence why my goal is to at least write the full draft of one of them before the year is over or at least the layout of one of them.

⇻ Stepping out of my comfort zone ( Becoming more vocal )

Now this goal is probably the hardest for me to achieve just because of my own anxieties, but I wish to become more vocal in the fanfic community. There are so, SO many fanfics I've come across on this app that I simply liked and blankly reposted without expressing my thoughts on it ( or did neither ) and I wish to change that! My goal is to just express my love for whatever I read loudly and proudly without fear. I also plan to try and make more mutuals/friends! :D

⇻ Fill my blog with more diverse content ( My starting goal )

To be simple and straightforward, this is just a restatement of the reason my blog exist; to get better at writing and grow my anime horizon. I wish to soar to new heights, write about different genres and themes and animes, and overall become a multi-versed writing weapon! >.< Of course, everyone has to start somewhere, and so, my goal is to fill up my archive and write something about my main animes I haven't yet ( so TBHK, Black Butler, Link Click, Sally Face, and HSR ). I think that's a great starting point on my long journey to come, don't you think?

Thank you all who took the time to read this excessively long post! And please, let me know what your 2025 goals are! I'd happily read them! :)

Tagging: @nursedflowers, @iivorydreams, @saioratral, @meowzfordayz, @romaritimeharbor, @mrs-k0zume, @helloescapist + anyone who wishes to yap about their goals! <3

#ari talks #ari rambles #happy new year #new years resolutions #demon slayer #genshin impact #danganronpa #writing talk #writer on tumblr #writing resolutions #writing goals #new year goals

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outofangband · 2 years ago

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Complex trauma after torture and Angband world building masterlist

warnings for discussions of trauma from abuse/torture and extremely unbalanced power dynamics

More specifically here

Effects of Angband Trauma on Interpersonal Relationships

I’m going to make a second post to go into more detail on specific survivors!

Note: a lot of this would also apply to Aerin! I covered a lot of it on my post about her and complex trauma and I’m working on a second one

1. Survivors of Angband often experience hyper sensitivity to changes in mood and temperament. Most in Angband exist at the mercy of their overseers and other denizens of the fortress. When they are angry, upset or annoyed, regardless of cause, it is not uncommon for this to be taken out on the captives who have nowhere to go. In this environment, some might try to make themselves as insignificant or inconspicuous as possible, some might attempt to placate in the hope to mitigate abuse of themselves or others, some might even try to provoke anger either in an attempt to get something seen as inevitable over with or to bear the brunt of abuse instead of letting it fall on someone else.

Many survivors of Angband can become tense or afraid at a raised voice, certain tones, or simply being in the presence of someone who is upset or angry, especially if that person is in or is perceived to be in a position of power or authority.

On the same note is hyperawareness of certain body language and difficulty disconnecting certain body language or words with trauma responses. This can be conscious or subconscious.

The methods of survival within Angband might be replicated on the outside; some might seem antagonistic, intentionally trying to draw the anger of others around them, attempting to placate someone who might have no idea that their words or body language had been perceived as threatening, or attempting to make themselves inconspicuous again.

2. Difficulty maintaining the flow of a conversation

Conversation between prisoners and other denizens can not truly be equal. Verbal defiance or anything taken as such are heavily punished.

I’ve said it many times before and I’ll continue to say it! I cannot stress enough how profoundly demoralizing it is to be in an environment where you cannot make any change or influence and where your words mean next to nothing about what happens to you.

Conversations between prisoners are heavily restricted and censored. Friendships and bonds challenge the enforced hierarchies.

4. Improper reactions to authority. There is complex protocol in Angband for what body language, tone and other signifiers must be performed when speaking to higher ups. For some figures, special titles and even kneeling or other obvious signs of submission are required. Anyone who defies, challenges or does not submit to authority are brutally punished and the punishment commonly extends to the thralls around them too.

On the outside it is not uncommon for survivors to mistrust or act in ways seen as improper to authority. They might act overly subservient or the opposite; refusing even reasonable suggestions or commands out of fear that their compliance will be exploited, or simply because they don’t trust that they can identify danger or exploitation (those who feel the latter might also express this through compliance)

5. Masking and significant hiding of emotional states. What is necessary to adapt to Angband is met with suspicion and hostility on the outside. I won’t go too much into it because in my post Angband tag I have a lot but many survivors take great lengths to hide the extent of their trauma

Survivors are known to steal (because nothing can be theirs and they do not trust that they will be given anything without a terrible price), to lie (because they have been forced to choke down the truth when it might lead to further pain, and so much leads to pain), they are known to attack even their own kin (because they are so very afraid).

They learn very quickly when they re enter their communities that they must adapt. Some cannot. Many former prisoners are vagrants. They wander alone or with one or two they escaped with. Some adapt in the same ways they adapted in Angband, some become more numb, obeying and moving without question, not attempting to regain the identity and life that had been stolen from them

Related to this is a suppressing of normal and healthy emotions, including anger. Abuse, and captivity all robs, one of one’s ability to be angry on their own behalf, and behalf of their loved ones if they are also in such a situation. I won’t go into it too much detail here, because I actually have an upcoming post about trauma and anger (using Maedhros and Aerin for my examples) but I did want to note here. This could also manifest in a variety of ways in the aftermath, including being quick to anger, having difficulty regulating it, or feeling numb to situations that might make one feel angry, or having the impulse or response to placate instead of reacting, in the anger that one feels.

I really can’t overstate how this sort of trauma (in this case captivity but this would also apply to survivors of abusive households) effects every aspect due to the utter loss of control that is experienced while with the perpetrator(s).

probably have too many posts on it and unfortunately there will continue to be more! If you read this far thank you for your patience/genuine and as always please feel free to ask more!

#the silmarillion #maedhros #gwindor #Húrin #in the iron hell #musing and meta #post Angband #tagging the Angband survivor basic crew

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indigosuvi · 2 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet - Angeal Hewley

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 569 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He will get you anything you need. He'll clean you up and even carry you to the shower or run you a bath.

B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, it's his biceps. For you, your ass.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

It's slightly salty and an opaque color.

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Loves looking at your lingerie and thinking of you in it. He will look at any of the photos you sent while he's away and get off to them.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He has no experience, but does have an idea of what he's doing.

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying)

Any that will give you the most pleasure.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's not extremely serious, but not making jokes or trying to be humorous.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it trimmed. It's black.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He'll mark you if you are okay with it, usually in a spot where no one will see it. Occasionally, he may leave a mark on your neck, but nothing too noticeable or extreme.

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Not very often, he only does it when you aren't around or when he has the time.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding and marking.

L = Location (favorite places to do it)

Anywhere inside the house. He doesn't want to risk getting caught or losing his job over it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you in lingerie. Teasing him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turnoffs)

Anything that would hurt the both of you. Anything that would risk him losing his job.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving, he likes giving you the most pleasure. Very skilled.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and hard.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

When he can and has the time for it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not really, the most he would do it in a closet on base, if you truly wanted it. That's as far as he'll go.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

4 or 5. About 40 minutes.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own any. If he did, he'd use them on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases some before the event.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not quiet, but not loud, either. Moaning and grunting.

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)

Will look at your photos on base when he's alone.

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

9, smooth with some noticeable veins. Cut.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He'll stay up long hours until you sleep first. Unless he's tired, then he will sleep first.

Tag List: @phantomheiko, @thevoidwriting / To join my tag list apply here!

#angeal x reader #ffvii angeal #ff7 angeal #angeal hewley #final fantasy angeal #angeal hewley scenario #angeal hewley smut #angeal hewley imagines #angeal hewley x reader #angeal hewley headcanons #ff angeal #ff x reader #final fantasy smut #final fantasy headcanons #final fantasy imagines #final fantasy x reader #final fantasy series

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electricbluebutterflies · 1 year ago

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Chris/Melissa + "give me your hands, i'll warm them up."

Post-6B, PG-ish, also on ao3.

They’re lost. Melissa is convinced.

She’s trying to be a good girlfriend – a goal that has never ended well for her, let her just point that out now, she’s very self-aware when making questionable life choices – and in her current dynamic that means tagging along to check the sensors in an unusually cold rainstorm because there is a Schedule and nothing short of a gateway to hell could throw Chris off-course… and even then, she thinks, he’d probably still keep routines as much as possible. The man has some definite trauma-related personality issues, and-

She’s not going to say anything. She is really, really trying to be a good girlfriend this time. Whatever her face does is not her problem.

She does enjoy these outings, when the weather is a little less questionable. She’s always been attracted to men who know what they’re doing, and this one… she doesn’t necessarily understand what he’s doing, or why he can’t manage to squirrel-proof the trackers, but she likes the intention of it, the repurposing of his past to help protect the people they love and-

“You could go back to the truck.”

She knows he means well. Ever since he came back from whatever dumbass adventure he went on south of the border – conveniently after Melissa started applying a don’t-ask-don’t-tell approach to anything supernatural that did not descend upon her house or her workplace – if not even earlier than that, she’s trusted his attentions. At worst, his idea of appropriate courtship is a little awkward, protective not minimizing, and-

“You’re not going to,” she counters.

“I’m much more used to the elements. I’m fine.”

Yeah no. While those two little words tend to be a little more dangerous in a significantly higher vocal range, they’re not exactly believable in this one either, and there’s probably a fun conversation they’re going to have later about what exactly happened to you to make you Like This and she’s pretty sure there’s enough wine in the house to get them through that one and-

“Bravado gets nowhere with me. Hasn’t since before my divorce. If you’re out here, I’m out here.”

This is, admittedly, a particular flavor of overkill. She’s reminded more and more often lately that she’s relatively petite and a little too human for most of the life choices that have been inflicted upon her in the past few years, and she’d never liked hiking before, she ran track in high school but that was a different skill set and also over twenty-five years ago and-

She’s a good girlfriend. That shouldn’t be such a part of her identity. Too bad.

Besides, this is at least more stimulating than her usual experience of hanging out in someone’s questionably clean apartment, pretending to watch some sports game on TV, and having disappointing sex. None of those issues apply this time, and it’s been such a delightful change of pace that she can forgive her frustrations, and-

“Give me your hands. I’ll warm them up.”

She does as she’s told, and there are moments she feels infinitely and beautifully small, her gloved hands entwined with her partner’s and-

“I did not know heated gloves were a thing,” she murmurs.

“They’re not… shit, did I forget to give you hand warmers?”

She takes no responsibility for what her face does, she reminds herself, and whatever displeased look she’s giving him is deserved. “Give me what?”

“Sounds like a no. Give me a moment.”

Chris reaches into one of his jacket pockets – it is truly unfair that he has pockets, let alone big enough ones to hold multiple purses worth of stuff – and pulls out two little orange gel things. “Ever use one of these?”

“No idea what you’re even holding.”

He does something with his hands to the packets and then hands them to her. “Slip these inside your gloves. Hold them. You’ll stay warm.”

She does, and the little things work, and-

“Onward?”

“Onward. Just a few more sensors to check…”

#ebf writes fic #chris x melissa #melissa mccall #chris argent #mcargent #queue

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llycaons · 2 months ago

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It’s been a a bit of awhile since I watched hxh so forgive my ignorance but how does it apply to the sa post you reblogged?

Hi, anon. honestly hxh was probably not the most accurate show to tag that post with, but it was the first that came to mind. I CAN tell you my thoughts - there are two readings here for SA, one much stronger than the other. discussion of SA and csa under the cut

the first reading is, naturally, the viewing of hisoka as a sexually predatory adult and understanding his interactions with, threats towards, and encouragement of gon to be grooming and sexually abusive. this is a read that most readers understand and accept because it's so obvious within the text, but you WILL find people denying it because they think hisoka being attracted to 'power' means he's not a pedophile or something. tho I wouldn't call his relationship a metaphor for anything bc his predatory intent is so explicit, the general theme of adults abusing, harming, exploiting, and threatening children is a big enough theme in the show that it kind of forms a background to the tone that was on the mind when I saw the post

as for the second reading...so this post triggered some memories of a fan disagreement from several years ago that resulted in a similar argument. before I explain what it consisted of, I want to clarify that I do not actually agree with the SA reading of the line, and I think it was just a joke in very poor taste that truly WAS was never meant to mean anything beyond that.

during the episode 'date with palm', in which 12 year old gon goes on a date with a 28 year old woman in recompense for failing to get her into the mission she wanted to go on, killua asks him if he's ever been on a date before. he goes 'sure! with aunt mito! and also with lots of sailor women! people call those women [alternate translations]: lunatics/maniacs/cougers'

and this is what the disagreement stemmed from - is gon, a child character already preyed upon by hiskoa (and palm) talking about a long history of sexual exploitation and abuse at the hands of these adult women (even going on 'chaste dates' as he apparently knows exactly how to do is exploiting him), OR is this just a shitty joke from togashi in the middle of an arc where he seems dead-set on proving the comedy in adult women being into 12 year olds? like...would mito even allow something like that? MITO clearly isn't abusing him and if he compares his time with her with his time with them then it's a little weird these random women keep showing up sure but how much of a 'date' really IS it. like is he just giving them tours around the island and stuff? but also he knows how to DO all of it? and it's always older women? it's weird!

like its disturbing how easily gon manages palm and how good he is at like...showing her a good g-rated date and how calm he is at this prospect in general, but given how it doesn't seem to matter to his character like his father leaving did and how it literally never comes up again and how whale island has in the story been a place of safety and refuge from the terrifying and dangerous adult world, these days I'm leaning towards the 'shitty joke' reading and I'm inclined to think these 'dates' were more like (admittedly a little creepy) island tours for visitors, and killua's all stunned but HE hasn't been on a date either so he has no idea! HE thinks gon is all mature, so it feeds his jealousy a little and hits him particularly hard when he's already feeling insecure and unworthy of being at gon's side

so in that sense I become the one who the op is complaining about because I'm saying there IS no SA metaphor/subtext or at least not an intentional or meaningful one...but given the disagreement it WAS in my mind when I saw that post. ah, it was a huge topic back in the day...

sorry this explanation was so rambly and kind of weak. I probably wouldn't have tagged it as hxh if I had thought more about it but I didn't want to leave you hanging! I hope this helps clarify my thought process at least :) since my college days I've read and watched a lot more media that deals with this topic in more thorough and sensitive ways and while I do think there's value in exploring csa in some of the villains, the misogyny and confused tone and insistence on turning it into a joke really make some of it fall flat. alas!

#asks

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rocksanddeadflowers · 1 year ago

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First of all!!!! I never considered Brian's hair rusting into that bright green shade and that idea alone made my day bc I cosplayed Brian a couple times with like. My super bright green hair that I curled. So idk this just makes that so much cooler to me. Anyway. Also I prefer copper hair Brian but I remember this one post about his hair growing while he's hung from the gallows into like. Rapunzel long hair and I'm a little obsessed with that idea even if I don't want to apply it here. Also, I can't help but picture Galahad spending his evenings sat beside/beneath The Hanged Man, trying for conversation as he weaves his rosary and whatnot. So Brian is mostly aware of what he's doing, but it kinda falls in this weird gray area for Brian's morality that he can't really oppose? And even if Galahad is a little... Odd, the company is nice nonetheless.

And yes!!! I wanna try making those so badly (i actually want to try doing it from this one tree in my yard that i adore but that's a whole other rant lol). While the rosaries probably differ, considering the whole outer space thing with no specific time era set, there's no limits! Well, except for whatever information Galahad himself has, like if he has the knowledge on how to make the beads. Which in theory he does. I have no defense for this, but there's probably no canon way to refute it either. Probably. But in any case, I think have the different beads would still be important to him, so yes! Exactly! Love this. Also the image of Galahad carving at a tire which that same passionate hyperfixation as an artist getting sucked into their craft (that's me projecting) is hilarious I love it.

And ugh!!!! The thing in your tags about Brian having a little rose plant in his chest- !!!!!! Just. Firstly, in theory, he could have more of a terrarium system in there, like a self-sustaining ecosystem, but some plants thrive like that better than others so I'm uncertain if there's any roses that can withstand that. Either way I'm thinking about it somehow having grown there on it's own after he was hung. Idk how it would happen but imagine that tiny ecosystem blooming within this still shell of a man for decades or more while he hung there. The mycelium spreading through his joints as he takes in water from around him to purposely keep it alive, because it's the only consistent company he's ever had here in Camelot. Roses can live a long time, longer than people, when properly cared for (or just. You know. Not abused for aesthetic purposes). People come and go, leave him purposely or die indirectly. But that rose bush? It's been with him the whole time. And it probably burnt away when he fell into the sun, which the rose's end was inevitable, he knew, but it was still a shame to truly face isolation within the neverending heat.

Oops. Sorry. I rambled about that more than intended. But anyway the idea of Galahad bringing up make a rosary and Brian clicked and shifting gears that haven't shuddered to life in decades (possibly centuries?) to open his chest and offer the roses within ("Take all you wish or nee, just be gentle, don't hurt the plant. It's my friend.") I mean. I'm going absolutely feral and I know Galahad would lose his flipping mind.

please consider: Galahad always carrying around rosary beads/prayer beads that carry the image of Merlin, The Hanged Man in the style of a saint or of a crucifix. Also he handmade the entire thing of beads btw.

#I'm very braindead so i feel like I don't sound coherent and i may have missed things you wrote. but i was too excited to not respond.#so so so normal about this entire thing right now (<- lying)#and i will absolutely share if i manage to write it I'm obsessed with this now #the mechanisms

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voiddemon · 2 years ago

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can i ask what is kinyarn 😭

I think it's about time I explained Kin-Yarn to the new generation instead of jokingly brushing it off and making people do their own research.

Please note I will be spelling Kin-Yarn with the hyphen, as god (me) intended. Kinyarn is still hella valid and the more commonly used name. I also wont be going into my interpretations too much since it's complicated and long i do not actually ship it i promise.

Kin-Yarn is the greatest Kirby ship of all time. It's the ship between Yin-Yarn from Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Kine the fish from hell. There isn't anything canon for it, these characters have never and will never interact in HAL's eyes. However we, the fans, know better.

After reading my thesis I'd strongly recommend checking out all of the content the long dead kin-yarn fandom has to offer. Most of it is like, really old, since those around for Kin-Yarn's inception have either left tumblr, moved onto new and cooler fandoms, or don't think it's that funny anymore. (It isn't because it's a fandom in-joke from two years ago.) Thankfully there are many great relics of the past, of the days when new Kin-Yarn content showed up every like five posts on your dash. AO3 has most of the Kin-Yarn fanfiction that's been written, but some of it is hidden away within blog archives and dusty links to google docs. Kin-Yarn videos also exist, including some (two) AMVs and the classic Kin-Yarn ASMR made by yours truly. The Kin-yarn/Kinyarn tag on tumblr.com also has a lot of posts so just go through that.

I. HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Kin-Yarn was made at some point in October 2020. Out there on the internet there is a site called FanficMaker. It's a pretty basic website. I don't know exactly how the creators found the material to make this, but there is a okay-ish sized pool of sets.

These sets are fairly generic stories, with the program plugging in the names of characters you input into specific slots. There's a surprising amount of variation between these sets, but after you play with the site too long you start seeing the same ones over and over.

So Voiddemon a few years ago found this website, and decided to make some fanfiction and upload it to tumblr.com. On one occasion, the website generated the sentence "It was Yin-Yarns gay wedding party..." It didn't say who he was marrying, but I found it funny and uploaded it to tumblr.com. On a separate day, in a separate prompt, I put Kine in and it gave me a similar result. "Meanwhile, Susies mind was wondered back to the past. It was Kines gay wedding party..." I also found this funny because. Kine. And uploaded it to tumblr.com.

Here are the two screenshots together <3

I will now introduce Ninikins (Who has since changed their username and moved on from the Kirby fandom), who suggested that the two of them were getting married to each other. Everyone in my circle online at the time found the idea hilarious because.

From here everyone went crazy and just started. Kin-yarning all over the place.

II. Fan Interpretations

Memetaknight, creator of the greatest Kin-yarn fanfiction of all time Yiracle (It's my favorite :shrug:) created a Kin-Yarn Essay. Today it is a great time capsule that brings us into the culture around Kin-yarn in the past. It's just over two years old now so happy birthday Kin-Yarn essay. It delves into the two primary interpretations around the ship. I'll just quote the most important bits of it since I'm lazy you can go check my sources ok.

"A common Kin-Yarn characterization is to ship either both brothers with Kine (as a V shape relationship), or just one of the brothers with Kine... This interpretation has many specific tropes... but it has one extremely interesting idea that is unique to it. In the spirit of Kirby’s Epic Yarn’s final battle... it has been theorized that something similar could apply to Kin-Yarn, in which the brothers would catfish Kine .. Kine, either on purpose or on accident."

"The other interpretation sees the yarn body previously mentioned as a third entity... which is referred as Yin-Yarn separate from the needle brothers. This characterization idea arises from the fact Yin-Yarn is referred as a singular character"

There is a third interpretation that stems from the two of these, which is that both the Yarn Body or puppet is in love with Kine and so is at least one of the knitting needles.

Often in Kin-Yarn works, it is unclear which one of these the creator interprets the ship as, since artwork and fics include all three characters (The puppet and the two needles) with no clear distinction between them. A distinction being drawn is more commonly in artwork, due to the nature of the medium.

III. Love and Marriage

For the most part, Kin-Yarn is portrayed as a perfect relationship. With Kine and Yin-Yarn being madly in love. The nature of one being a hero and another being a villain is not often explored, but when it is explored the most common interpretation is Kine accepts Yin-Yarn despite his past wrongdoings. Oftentimes Yin-Yarn will reform and become good for Kine.

they also have sex

III A. Who are Prince Fluff's Parents?

Prince Fluff (Also from Kirby's Epic Yarn) has no stated or seen parents within the series. Originally KEY was called "Keito no Fluff", and featured Prince Fluff himself as the protagonist. He was supposed to be searching for his mother, but this was removed from KEY so he has. No parents.

A semi-common headcanon within the Kirby fandom is that Prince Fluff was created by Yin-Yarn, which is what originally spawned this interpretation. A few perceptive Kin-Yarnians noticed that Kine and Prince Fluff have the same exact color scheme. Like it's kind of uncanny actually Kine is just a little desaturated.

This caused the creation of the Yamily Tree, an. absurdly large family tree but it's kinda bloated and not that funny anymore. Here's the condensed version

Usually Prince Fluff is not actually biologically related to Kine. Since that has horrifying implications. Instead it implies that after Kine and Yin-Yarn are married, they adopt Prince Fluff (Which he usually isn't happy with).

III B. KINE'S DIVORCES

Ok so Kine Kirby is married to Mine canonically. However we haven't seen her in a very long time, and in Kirby Clash Kine is sleeping on a bench. Leading to the idea that he and Mine got a divorce. This is accepted by everyone who ships Kin-Yarn because Kine cheating on his wife isn't a laughing matter, but Kine leaving his wife for Yin-Yarn is. (Usually the interpretation is Mine leaving Kine)

Even though Kin-Yarn is interpreted as perfect most times, other interpretations are that after they get married the relationship becomes volatile. At the core the two still love each other, but due to one reason or another they've grown apart. This is best shown in the Kin-Yarn Fanfiction named after the ships national anthem, "The One That Got Away" on AO3 by HeavyLobster77.

This is very popular both for the drama and because it's very funny.

IV. Historical Kin-Yarn Events & Holidays

-The Great Kin-Yarn Porn Scare of 1969 Someone uploaded an explicit Kin-Yarn fic on AO3 tagged as explicit with very SUS tags. It wasn't real though and the fic is just among us.

-Kin-Yarn Discord There's a Kin-Yarn discord out there that's dead as hellll and I'm. Not sharing a link good luck finding it

-Kin-Yarn WORLD TOUR I blazed a Kin-Yarn post when tumblr Blaze first came out. Spending real money to force people to look upon Kin-Yarn was a powerful move.

-Feared Anon creating the best AUs of all time Kinederella (Technically theres no real au just funny images)

-Kin-Yarn Blog Wars ok i cannot find many of the blogs but for a bit everyone made blogs dedicated to loving or hating kin-yarn. Also KinYarn-Archives was created at some point around this time I think.

-Kin-Yarn BANNED from the Shipping Wiki Tumblr user Kaissauce tried to create a page on the shipping Wikipedia, but it was deleted by the mods lmao. Here's what the page originally looked like.

-Urban Dictionary somehow it got on fucking urban dictionary. this was my doing but it should never have been allowed to happen.

-Kin-Yarn: The Movie Released on July 29th 2021

no comment needed we've all seen it

-Kin-Yarn Day Kin-Yarn day is a national holiday beloved and celebrated by all, on February 14th. No other holiday is celebrated that day <3

V. Conclusion

idk how to end this thing. love wins and it shouldn't. do your own research

#kin-yarn #kinyarn #long post #i gave up with it i am tired :pensive:#here u go anon

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legends-of-apex · 3 years ago

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Hey! It's almost Valentines Day and I'm feeling particularly romantic! Could you do a head canon list of what an ideal romantic date would be like for Warrior characters? Either with their current SO or a hypothetical relationship in general.

I also think answering some typical "couples questions" would be fun. Like "who gets jealous more easily?"

Only if this isn't too much trouble :)

What Dating the ‘Warrior’ Characters is like Part 1

Rating: T (no warnings)

Tagging: @icy-spicy @noobsaibots

Hey, thanks so much for your ask! I honestly wasn’t sure how to approach them going on a date so these are headcanons about what they’re like dating in general :) I hope that’s okay! If I get some ideas for their ideal dates then I’ll be sure to post those too! These can be applied to a canon s/o, gender neutral reader insert etc. These are just my opinion so please feel free to agree or disagree! Also I’ll do some other characters in a part 2 including Li Yong and some others :)

I also highly suggest checking out @simpingforclaudette ‘s headcanons on this topic cause they’re super cute and you can find them here

Ah Sahm

A cheeky and flirty little shit by nature but it’s very easy to make him blush with a few choice words if he’s caught off guard. He also loves making his s/o a little flustered in return with kisses to their knuckles, by running his mouth or simply by letting his eyes rake over them a certain way

So incredibly gentle with his s/o even when he knows he doesn’t have to be. Gentle touches, kisses and words are a must from him, especially gentle kisses. Loving is the one part of his life in which he doesn’t really feel the need to put on a brave face. His s/o will get to see the kindest, softest and most giving side of him

Loves a lot of physical affection/reassurance. Loves to have his hands and fingers played with or kissed, especially when they’re maybe not in the best of shape. His s/o tending to him in general for even the mildest injury or bruise makes his heart feel like it might burst with pure affection. He’ll also take any opportunity to be alone with his s/o for that exact reason. He just craves intimacy and closeness

Once he realises his s/o truly and genuinely cares about him for him and not for what he can do then he’s head over heels. Being wanted, truly wanted and cared for isn’t something he takes lightly

All the pet names. Sweetheart is his favourite to use but he’s been known to occasionally throw around the occasional baby, princess/prince, honey and baby girl/boy

Ah Toy

She’s very into providing things for her s/o. Gifts, affection, anything they need really. If she sees something that her s/o might like then she gets it without question. She would sooner pamper them than herself and constantly puts their needs above hers

Doesn’t get jealous at all, it’s just not really in her nature. She’s happy in the relationship when her s/o is, she doesn’t really mind what form that takes. Once she has feelings for someone she’ll very quickly let them know, what they do with that information is up to them

However, she is fiercely protective of her s/o as she’s very much scared of losing them like she’s lost so many other things in her life. She’s also more than a little hesitant to get attached or fall in love with someone at first because of this. But once she trusts she trusts deeply and fully

She might not admit it at first but she absolutely loves being held and taken care of every once in awhile. If her s/o do something nice for her she just melts because she’s not used to being cared for. Gifting her something she’s been talking about is one of the easiest ways to make her smile brightly and give her s/o an excited kiss on the cheek

She doesn’t use too many terms of endearment for her s/o but when she does then it’s usually gorgeous, angel or dear. If her s/o calls her by a term of endearment then she’d probably blush, and it’s hard to make her blush otherwise. It just makes her feel so cherished

Bolo

He’s got an arm around his s/o at any given opportunity. He just likes being able to have them close and let them feel him there. It grounds him in addition to letting his s/o know that he’s there for them. He’ll also kiss their temple or forehead a lot too

Is protective even more so than Ah Toy. He’s lost and has been through a lot in his lifetime so he wants to shield his s/o from any of that. That overprotectiveness doesn’t come from a place of mistrust or anything like that, he just wants to keep them safe as best as he can. But one stern telling off from his s/o is more than enough to dampen that down

He loves with his heart and not at all with his head and when he falls, he falls hard. Will smile randomly or get in a bit of a haze when thinking about his s/o and gets an elbow in the ribs for daydreaming about them instead of paying attention to whatever Young Jun is saying

He loves making his s/o blush. It’s one of his favourite pastimes and he has it down to a fine art to the point where he can elicit a blush from his s/o from the minute they wake up in the morning or at any of the most random points throughout the day

Princess/Prince is his go-to. He uses it both affectionately and when he’s being cheeky. He’ll use baby girl/boy in a similar way but not as often because he knows how flustered it gets them so he’ll save that for special occasions. Any term of endearment you can think of he’s probably used for his s/o at some stage including but not limited to sweetness, babe and many others

Young Jun

Immediately mellows out upon having an s/o. He takes someone wanting a relationship with him very seriously as he’s never really had anything other than a fling before

He absolutely showers his s/o in love and affection as often as they let him. Isn’t shy about displaying affection in public at all as he’s just thankful that he can

A very attentive lover and he’s happy to be essentially whatever his s/o needs him to be for them. Likes listening to his s/o ramble about their day and will sit there listening with nothing but affection in his eyes as he does

He falls hard and so very quickly. He’ll probably feel pure infatuation at first and try to whoo the person he’s attracted however he’ll soon calm down and start treating them as more than someone he’s physically attracted to. It just might take him awhile to come to terms with the fact that he’s feeling something other than lust

Loves using nicknames. Sugar, gorgeous, doll and beautiful/handsome are his favourites. Especially gorgeous. Gorgeous is his favourite to use for them because that’s exactly what they are to him and he wants them to know that. He also manages to say it in a way that never comes off as condescending, only sincere

#warrior hbo max #ah sahm #ah toy #bolo #young Jun #ah sahm x reader #ah toy x reader #bolo x reader #young jun x reader #headcanons #ask #requested #my writing

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indiemovies · 3 years ago

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i love hearing what YOU have to say !!

EXACTLY THAT. nancy and barb had some troubles and maybe they were actually in love but of course barb would wait, and of course nancy would spend all this time searching and later, avenging. they were the best of friends at the end of it all

everything you're talking about with barb's death completely shattering whatever ideas she'd had about living her smalltown indiana life is so brilliant and it makes so much sense. in her mind, it's like whenever she's pretended that she could simply ignore things if she wanted to, it all blew up in her face. with the halloween party and agreeing to pretend like barb's death wasn't affecting her, with jonathan and the hawkins post internship, being told she was wrong for pursuing a hunch or thinking she could make it as a female journalist, and i haven't quite determined if her relationship with steve was the same leap to fitting in, or rather something she genuinely believed she wanted. so of course she lines up those memories and comes to the conclusion, partially out of fear, that she simply can't stop for anyone else, much less her own issues. and i'm sure nancy doesn't want to stop to confront any of that, either

which is why having vecna choose her was so pivotal. vecna not only being a real threat, but also a mental blockade stopping her from dodging her emotions and everything she's tamped down after the years. a taunt, where he snaps his fingers and can make all of her worst fears and memories bubble to the front of her mind and there's nothing she can do to stop it. and i really, really, hope they lead this into s5 where, just like you said, mike or robin finally makes her stop and start to truly heal. !!! nancy has not slept in 52 hours and is mean to people to keep them out so if she loses them it won't hurt as bad exactly exACTLY

and obviously, not to make this about robin, but they do have it set up well for a robin-nancy-heart-to-heart scene. i’m not sure what exactly it is, but i think a part of robin recognizes that nancy's got a pricky, saccharine-spiked-smile defense mechanism? there’s some part of her that subconsciously tapes a little post-it with the word “friend” to nancy, despite the latter being short with robin. and then that scene in the woods !!! nancy catches the little mention of robin caring, and hides her smile by turning away because she knows it’s not the time to become attached to someone else. but it’s already happened, and now she’s got someone else in her corner. and maybe, this season, nancy doesn't have to lose another person and build her walls even higher

YOUR LAST POINT AND YOUR TAGS OH MY GOD. nancy having to face the fact that she can't just live the life she was once planning on having and oh !! this also makes the scene with jonathan finally telling her that he never even applied to emerson even more important. because it's this distinct shift in their relationship, where despite the fact that they've been tied together and fighting side-by-side, jonathan has taken a step back and realized that he simply can't leave his loved ones. meanwhile, part of nancy is still striving, still stuck on that push-forward mentality that wants to leave all of this behind. so she's left, standing in the entryway to her college dorm, and like. she's packed a goddamn gun in her suitcase, because you never know and it's like the party all over again. except this time, nancy's the one pretending.

on another note ! your tags are more accurate than nancy wheeler shooting a gun, and i think they deserve to be made into images. that "nancy's got two hands!" meme except it's "one for [robin/mike] to hold as she has a mental breakdown and one for a dsm". anyways!! i hope this is coherent enough </3 but i love talking about nancy with you !!! i typed out some long paragraph about nancy + fandom misogyny but i couldn't figure out where to put it here so it's just floating in the notes app rn lmao

YOUR MIND!!!!

i really think/hope vecna targeting nancy and forcing her to see her losing her loved ones is going to put her in an impossibly even higher gear. i know the word unhinged is overused on here but i really believe we are going to see unhinged nancy!!!! her family is in danger and she's carrying a guilt that it's her fault for not taking him out all the way so she's going to be SO protective and relentless and but she needs to take a break bc she's not thinking clearly. and i totally agree like i want another mike and nancy scene bc i miss their siblings dynamic BUT i think robin being the one to be there for her just makes so much sense!!! like you said, i can totally see robin picking up on nancy's defense mechanism BC SHE DID THE EXACT SAME THING TO STEVE. so i literally need them to have an emotional heart to heart that isn't about dumb boys but about how scared they are, both in terms of supernatural and the real world. they're 2 people who feel lost, who feel fundamentally different from everyone around them even if it seems like they can fit in. and i think robin is so important to her bc there's no history, no judgment, no doubting. robin ADMIRES nancy so much and they understand each other on such a level in such a short time nancy could see that for all of robin's clumsiness and anxiety she is someone that nancy can lean on too <3333

it's so sad bc i think if jonathan would be honest SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND. like you said, she seems like she wants to move on and become a serious adult but you know she's going to be calling her house urgently in the middle of the night bc she had a nightmare and is mike ok? has anything new happened?

LOLat that image and i love talking with you about her as well!!!! i really do just dump a bunch of thoughts into google docs or my drafts bc they're so incomprehensible so i love bouncing these thoughts around with you IT'S SO FREEING. nancy has been a victim of so much fandom misogyny ever since the first season all for the crime of being a woman with problems and i love talking/ranting about that SO PLEASE SEND YOUR PARAGRAPH!!!!

#anonymous #answered #nancy wheeler

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

Text

Shining Bright Above You

Spencer Reid x Male Reader

Summary: Spencer finally gets to go out with his boyfriend after getting out of prison and gets to see the light despite the overwhelming darkness.

A/N: Hey guys! This is my twenty-first fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April. This ones one of my favorites I’ve ever written and is based on this request and is also inspired by some stuff @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff sent to me for inspiration. I know x male reader fics don’t do good in fandom (which is a crying shame) but there’s still a large portion of people it applies to that read fanfic so please share it around so it might reach them!! Inclusivity in fanfic is important and I’ve heard multiple people get very discouraged they don’t see more fics that represent them- so please help bring more inclusivity in fandom!!! My ask box is open for nice anons only- here- if I see a shred of homophobia I will curb stomp you (I will not have a debate about it in my inbox) BUT please don’t be afraid to point out if I made a mistake in terms of the gender of the reader (this is not an open invitation to critique the rest of the fic)Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia & the prison arc & subtle hints at a soulmate au (which is funny I wrote it like that because I don’t read soulmate fics lol)- otherwise its super fluffy 🥰

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.6k

Time was just a construct created by humans to understand how we moved forward in the universe, and even though I was exaggerating it had felt like a million years since I had been out with Spencer. Prison had already made it hard to see him, with all the pat downs and checks only to still be separated by a plexiglass wall. On top of that, Spencer had only let me visit once, until he saw eyes leering at me with some uttering slurs underneath their breath.

It wasn’t until he was freed that I could see him again, and in the flesh as well. I remember our first hug after he had been released, both of us practically soaking our clothes with tears that didn’t seem to stop. For Spencer, it had even taken along time to convince him that I was real, and that I was safe- there would be no homophobic prisoners coming to attack us in the night.

Spencer didn’t like the night, one of his worst fears was the darkness and night was when the shadowy parts of his mind came out to play. Oftentimes I’d find him in other parts of the apartment at night, with all the lights on, the bed was no longer a place of comfort. One night I had pulled him to the couch, lights all flicked on and a nature documentary playing softly. When I had brought his head into my lap to stroke his fluffy locks that were still beautiful even though they were still damaged from the prison soap, he had fallen asleep a lot easier. Since then the couch has become our bed. Though I did not mind because he kicked and cried less in the night, and even when he did, it was easier to hold him.

The night was a scary place for Spencer, except when the stars shone bright. That’s why when I had remembered one of our favorite past dates, at the observatory, I immediately called in a favor. We had the place to ourselves tonight, sure it cost me more money than I’d ever spent before on a date. It had been ages, a million years it seemed like since we went out in public, so the price was worth it. It was all for Spencer, to make the night good for him again.

Though I definitely loved looking at the bright balls of gas up above I much preferred to rest my gaze on Spencer’s eyes. Spencer’s eyes often reminded me of the stars, not because of their color- but because of the slight twinkle that they got every time he was happy. The twinkle in my opinion rivaled the brightness of the stars with ease.

Normally I could listen to Spencer rambling on about facts all day, being completely entranced by his phrasing. But, his eyes had entranced me this time. I was no longer thinking about the black holes that he was rambling about, but how lucky I was. How lucky I was to see that twinkle in his eye and get to kiss him at the same time?

I could’ve been born at any point throughout space and time, to see any number of amazing things across the universe. But, I was put here standing next to Spencer. Just two specks of stardust ready to be in this world together. However insignificant life could seem in the grander scheme of things- however small we could both seem, I wouldn’t want to be next to any other speck of stardust nor be placed at any point in space and time.

“And no particles or even electromagnetic radiation such as light—can escape from it.” I caught the last part of what he said as he finished his mini rant about black holes. Thinking about light being swallowed up and being crushed into oblivion it made me think of Spencer again, it was a sad thought, though it was filled with hope.

I thought about all the darkness that had tried to consume Spencer throughout the years. Most recently prison had been the thing that tried to stomp the light out of him. It was nice to see that light that had dimmed sparkle a little brighter tonight. Even though we have been dating for a long time I felt myself filled with a small amount of happiness knowing that I was at least part of the reason the sparkle in his eye was bright tonight.

“You ok?” Spencer piped up, looking at me with concern.

“The stars are bright tonight.”

He looked a little confused at my seemingly somewhat random statement, he still looked back up at the stars. On the inside I wished he’d kept his bright glinting gaze upon me, then he confirmed my statement, “Yes, yes they are.”

“You’re still shining brighter.” Even after all this time I still had the capabilities to make Spencer blush. Every time he did so I was reminded of the stuttering boy I had met all those years ago. When he had first approached me in the library so long ago to ask me if I was finished with a book I had set down to the side, he was instantly just as endearing to me as he is now.

It had been such a different time then, it seemed almost like another lifetime. We had been through so much together, I often thought the universe might have some vendetta against us. Though logically the universe wouldn’t be so concerned with two small specks of stardust such as ourselves. Either way, whatever was truly out there in the unknown, there’s no place I’d rather be.

A piece of paper, folded carefully so the creases would be neat, was burning a hole through my slacks. It was a small gift in the grander scheme of things, a blip on anyone else’s radar. This held more meaning for us than just some novelty gift people buy.

His eyes were back on the stars, observing them with such intensity that I hadn’t even seen the astronomer Spencer had introduced me to last time we were here. Spence craved the light above him- who was I to deny him if I could give it to him?

It may have not been plucking the stars out of the sky for him to cuddle in his arms in a literal sense. I couldn’t buy all the stars in the sky, the website didn’t allow that. I could give him one though, one that was brighter than any others they had for sale.

“I-I have something for you.” I stuttered, which had Spencer looking at me with suspicion; he was the stutterer when nervous, not normally me.

Spencer’s eyes were on me now, not the stars, though he looked at me with the same reverence as he did when gazing up at the Milky Way. The same way I always did.

My hands were shaky when I pulled out the folded paper, carefully undoing the creases to present him the certificate of ownership for a star. Spencer steadied them with his fingers wrapping around my wrists. They were long and spindly, just made in a certain way that made me always want to kiss the tips of them as I did so often.

He then took the paper from my hands, even though I wanted to be greedy and take the warmth from his hands that the paper was stealing. I cleared my throat before telling him what the folded paper was, still nervous over a simple sheet of paper,“It’s our star.”

Somehow his eyes gleamed ever brighter because of how the tears that were now welling up in his eyes refracted the light even more. He wiped them a little, so he could scan the paper over to read the certificate that to most people meant nothing.

“It’s so we can have a little bit more light in our life.” I chewed on my bottom lip after I finished giving him my reasoning for the gift, nervous about his reaction. His hands were shaking now, as were mine, though for different reasons.

If my brain was thinking logically I’d realize he’d love anything I have to him, he’d probably even treasure a vial of sand. “You’re all the light I need” He then pulled me into his lips by grasping at my cheeks, the paper still in his hands brushing up against them accidentally. The only people here to see the light between us was a mingling curious janitor. It didn’t matter who was watching, I only needed one person to be here, Spencer. And, every time I was in his presence I always stopped to think, there’s no place I’d rather be. There’s no one else I’d rather be attached to, no one else I want to call me their boyfriend. He’s my home and my light just as much as I am his.

There’s an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to one another. I don’t know how much I put stock in the idea of soulmates, or the universe having some illogical vendetta against us, or the possibility of a being greater than humankind. I did know however, that if there was anyone in the world that I could possibly be soulmates with, it would be Spencer Reid. I’d spend the rest of my days comforting him from the darkness, happily showing him the specks of light in between that ultimately would defeat the swirling pools of black.

Ask Me Anything

—-

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mandalorewhore · 4 years ago

Text

Two Steps Ahead

PART THREE OF HUNTER (formerly hunter and prey)

gif by @princessxkenobi

Rating: Explicit Content Warnings: SMUT, Fighting as Foreplay, Rough Sex, Penetrative Sex(PIV), Unprotected Sex, Dirty talk, Praise kink, Size kink, Big Dick Mando, Top Mando, Sub/Dom elements, Very slight Pain Kink, possible CNC elements although I didn’t write that I also want to warn anyone who doesn’t want to read about rough sex with physical fighting as foreplay Words: 6.9k AO3 LINK

Summary: Reader and Mando start tracking their first bounty together

A/N: i believe things are happening...interesting

***

“I feel like you have a distinct advantage here.” A bead of sweat drips over your brow as you mop at your sweltering forehead in irritation. Your temple throbs as you press on it, pain shooting down your neck at the pressure.

It’s so fucking humid here. You’re tracking one of Mando’s bail jumpers in the middle of a boggy swamp planet that you never caught the name of and you’ve been walking through the forest for at least 24 hours, only stopping for water and ration breaks. Based on the holo-map you’re currently staring at, this entire planet is one big swamp, with no escape from the damp, sticky environment.

The thing barely makes sense, a jumble of colors and shapes that worsens your headache the longer you try to figure it out. You had borrowed a thin shirt from Mando before setting out, but it does little to protect you from the buzzing swarms of insects, while at the same time it reflects just enough heat to have you sweltering.

Mando acts unbothered under all that padding and armor, trekking through the trees without any visible sign of struggle. You don’t understand how he can stay awake for so long without caf, yourself being covered in caf-patches to keep from passing out. It’s probably somewhat dangerous to have so much of the stimulant coursing through your veins, but oh well. If my heart gives out then at least I’ll escape the bugs.

“Footprints aren’t the only way to track a quarry.” He returns mildly, moving swiftly over tangled tree-roots to avoid the pools of murky water that litter the forest floor. You move with less grace behind him, trying to climb slippery wood and juggle the holo at the same time. The twisted trees of this planet seem to reach inward to point at the forest floor, giving you the impression of being trapped within their clutches. The eerie feeling isn’t helped by the distinct lack of light, odd lichen tendrils drape between branches to create a blanket that absorbs most natural light from the sky. A faint glow emanates from the tendrils, basking the forest with ghostly illumination. You scramble to the top of the particularly tall root he’s perched on then plop down to catch your breath.

“No, it’s not the only way,” you pause to take a swig from your water skin, dabbing off the spilled drops from your chin with your sleeve, “but the footprints you track are apparently all glowy and red. I get to look with my naked eyes for shit like depressions in the ground, which is so fun considering the only paths here are solid wood.”

Mando rolls his helmet on his shoulders, the effect similar to someone rolling their eyes. When he speaks it’s short and gruff, annoyed by your attitude. Which is… appropriate. The hours you’ve spent walking in this heat together is starting to snap both of your tempers. “Stop complaining.”

He’s not wrong about the footprints. You’re mostly annoyed because of how useless you feel, more like you’re tagging along than assisting him on the hunt. Drawing your eyebrows together you try to come up with a plan. Most of those mercenary skills you talked up for Karga don’t apply here, this naturalistic setting is too messy and... wild. Unpredictable. You’re used to the structure that comes with starships and cities, places engineered and civilized.

Tracking people isn’t very hard, you’ve done it plenty of times before. The only issue is that all of your practice came from environments where they left clear signs of direction, displaced gravel indicating a shoe-print, broken branches, a trail in sand. It also helps that your targets didn’t know they were being stalked. The only path here is over hard wooden tree roots, with nothing to indicate direction, not even moss grows over the foot trail for traveling feet to mark. You take in a deep breath and hold it for several seconds before letting out all your air in one huge swoop.

“I’m sorry, “ you tell him sincerely, “I want to help you -and not just for a bigger cut. Is there anything I can do?” You truly do feel bad for snapping at him even if you know you’re right about his advantage. Just because you don’t have fancy thermal settings and footprint tracking doesn’t mean you’re useless. The Mandalorian settles his hands on his hips and surveys the area, looking for a task to assign you. His helmet tilts up and lingers on the trees, and you’re already two steps ahead before he can voice his idea.

“I can climb,” you interject, standing up swiftly and moving. “Trees can’t be more slippery than a spacecraft.”

He nods in acknowledgment. “Find something and your cut goes up by five percent.”

“Ten percent.” You grin at him cheekily, wanting to tease him even if he won’t give it to you.

“Eight, if you find somewhere to camp.”

“Deal.” You return, already halfway to the widest tree you can reach without getting your feet wet. The trunk is covered in knots and twisted vines, ugly but providing fantastic handholds for your hands and feet. Grabbing hold of a sturdy looking ledge you begin your ascent.

The climb is fairly easy even with the woods damp surface, and you reach the forest canopy with minimal effort. Carefully squirreling around the thin top-most branches you attempt to find a break-through point, the wood beneath you bowing a little from your weight.

When you finally poke your head through and see the sky you gasp, taken aback by the sight. You hadn’t hung around in the cockpit during landing, instead choosing to pack the bags while Mando skillfully piloted his ship. The forest floor is all you’ve seen of the planet and apparently you’ve missed a lot.

The sky here is beautiful, a color palette that is completely opposite from the dark, damp underbelly of the forest ground. Swirling aquamarine clouds float lazily in the sky, speckling the orange hued atmosphere above you. There are at least 6 pale moons lined up on the horizon from edge to edge, stars twinkling around each orb as if drawn to their orbit. You drink in the sight greedily, the ache in your head lessening in the natural light. This is so much better than the cold stark metal of space stations that you’re used to living on.

It’s hard to tell the time based on the sky alone, the moons must be constantly present in the sky no matter the time of day and you can’t find a single sun. Maybe this planet lives off the light and heat from each moon, reflected from a distant star? The thought is lovely but you don’t think it’s possible. You file the image away for your daydreams then divert your eyes back to the thick forest, searching for anything useful to tell Mando.

The line of trees is unbroken, a sea of dark green leaves and glowing lichen. An orange sky helps to warm up the pale glow from the lichen but it’s eeriness still sends a shiver through you. Everything on the horizon is of even height, betraying nothing within its depths. It isn’t ideal. You gnaw your lip anxiously, dreading to return to Mando without any information especially on your first hunt together. Eyes flitting around desperately, you try to analyze any possible breaks in the natural pattern of trees.

Could that be a settlement there? You think, looking at a slightly thinner section of forest that might roughly be three miles away. You aren’t sure about the planet’s curvature and how flat the terrain is so you double check the holo, looking for the information.

Something catches your eye as you’re pulling up the data, just substantial enough in your peripheral version that you stop what you’re doing. There is a mist rising from that thinned area, far enough away that you mistook it as some sort of lighting effect from the overwhelming color palette here. That has to be steam right? It’s too thick to be naturally occurring from the bog. There must be machinery over there. A settlement hopefully.

You’re about to climb down when you pause, looking at the still lit holo with renewed curiosity. Something about the map visually paired with your clear view of the forest allows the pieces to fall in place. When you compare the shape of the map to the trees you’re finally able to make sense of what you previously thought was a topographical mess. A built pathway lies here, a body of water there. And clearings. Several clearings not too far from where you are now, the perfect size to settle down in. Hopefully they’re dry.

Either the caf-patches are finally sending you into cardiac arrest or you’re manically happy to finally be of help to your hunting partner, but either way, you’re grinning so widely that your teeth clatter together.

“Hey Mando! Guess what you owe me?” You shout down at the ground, beginning to descend. You’re so excited that you practically slide down the vines, jumping to the ground when you’re several feet high in the air, sore muscles creaking at the impact. The Mandalorian is sitting now, resting with his elbow propped on his knee while he waited for you to come back. There’s a soft pang in your chest and you wonder if he’s tired. You brush it off, feeling as though you’re just projecting, and instead grin widely at him in triumph. “7 percent increase for me!”

He lifts his helmet and looks you up and down. “What did you find?”

You reply chirpily, hands grasped behind your back and shit-eating grin still plastered on your face. “There is a settlement of some kind roughly three miles that way,” you point in the direction where you saw the steam, “and several clearings nearby suitable to camp in, if we don’t want to head in right away. Oh, also we aren’t on the actual path used by locals here, the asset must be making an effort to hide.”

“That isn’t very smart of them,” Din observes, shaking his head at the concept. “Busy path hides more prints.”

“Hm…” You take that in, wondering what other techniques a quarry may use to shake its hunter.

It occurs to you that there is a lot you could learn from the Mandalorian, since so far hunting someone has been notably different from your mercenary missions. You’ll find a moment to ask questions later once you’re settled down for the night, wherever that’ll be. “Do you want to camp or find the maybe-settlement?”

“We should camp,” he responds immediately, rising from his seated position and walking closer to you, “we don’t know what we’ll face there. You can choose the area, since you climbed the tree.”

You pull up the holo-map again and zoom in on the different options, feeling far more energized now that you actually know what you’re doing. There are two spots that seem encouraging, both a short hike away from where you are now but removed enough to grant you some privacy. You’ll still need to set up a watch to prevent ambush or stray travelers from finding you but it’ll be easier if you make an effort to hide. One of the clearings seems to have a running water source, you hope it’s cleaner than the still-water you’re currently surrounded by. Maybe you can bathe there too.

“Lets go here,” you pull up the coordinates for Mando, “that looks like a stream, right?”

He leans into your body for a closer look, broad chest just brushing against you in a way that sends flutters through your tummy. You know he can zoom in with his visor, there is no reason he needs to be so close to you except for your benefit. He seems to enjoy messing with you like this, throwing you off with unexpected touches, looks, and gestures. It’s like a game he plays and you’d be far more annoyed by his teases if it wasn’t so exciting.

“Looks good,” he rumbles low in his chest. “Fresh water would be nice.”

Your heart quickens, but you tried to hide your reaction by teasing him back, tapping your fingers on his helm and stepping away. “I was hoping to clean myself up, actually…”

Mando straightens up at this, visor locked on your face.

“Lead the way.” He returns quietly, giving away nothing. Trying not to smile, you start off in the direction of the clearing, for once moving faster than your armored companion.

Your goal isn’t very far, only about 3 miles north of your previous position and a mile adjacent to the settlement you’ll pay a visit to tomorrow. Large, fuzzy fronds of an alien fern droop down the sides of the hollow clearing, providing a barrier between the forest and empty space in between. The trees still tangle above the open area, blocking out part of the beautiful sky, save a few of the large moons, and old pieces of charcoal are ground into the sandy earth here, a sight that makes you a little anxious. This spot must be used by others, you’ll have to be more careful with setting up the watch than expected.

The water source turns out to be a small spring set on the edge of a cliff at the far end of the clearing, a sizable waterfall cascading down the side and gathering in a crystalline pool. Skipping ahead of Mando to the edge of the pool you crouch and dip your fingers in the cool water, sighing in relief as it relieves some of the warmth in your overheated body.

You’re unable to hear Mando’s approach - how he is so stealthy under 50 pounds of metal escapes you, but you feel him behind you. You smirk. Arching your back as you rise, you turn around slowly and begin to make eyes in his direction however, when you actually see what he's doing, you cringe at yourself in embarrassment. He’s not looking like you assumed, instead he is surveying the clearing skeptically, body-language imbued with disapproval. Your heart simultaneously sinks to your stomach and contracts in frustration. You thought you had finally done something right.

“What? Is something wrong?” You ask him tightly, subtly shrinking in on yourself in disappointment. You try to hide this by fiddling idly with a stray thread on your tunic, stubbornly keeping your head lifted high despite wishing you could disappear. He doesn’t respond right away, instead turning and walking the length of the clearing then back, stopping just in front of you sharply. You meet his visor with your eyes, holding the look until you feel like you’re burning up in shame from the pressure of it.

“It’s too… open,” he finally says, voice halting as he tries to find the correct words. “Anyone could walk into our camp.”

“I figured we’d set up a watch. There’s only one entrance-”

He interrupts you. “One ground entrance. Anyone can climb down from the trees.”

“Maybe, but this planet isn’t supposed to be dangerous, is it? Practically abandoned,” You huff out, fists clenching at your sides as you argue with him. “Besides. It’s… pretty here.”

The Mandalorian sighs, pinching the helmet just below the visor where his nose bridge would be. “Fine. I’ll take the first watch. No fire.”

Nodding in response, you cross the clearing and set your bag down on a log, letting out a sigh in relief. That’s fine by you, you don’t need the extra warmth and the glowing lichen provides enough light to get by. You really did not want to hike again after moving for 24 hours straight. Mando mirrors your movements, leaning his rifle next to your pack before settling on the sandy earth. A loaded pause passes between you, earlier implications at the forefront of your minds.

Letting out a shuddering breath you crouch down and pull your old tunic from your bag, slinging it over your shoulder before making your way back to the small pond. The water is completely clear, an inviting sight after the marshy puddles that made up the forest ground on your way here. You’re facing the water now but you’re still well aware of the man behind you, the intensity of his gaze burning even through the impassive visor. The invitation is clear. Take it off.

But you aren’t sure if you want to give him that yet. The exhaustion from today has wrung you dry, small bickerings between you and your work partner dampening the sweet mood leftover from Nevarro. Apologizing with sex isn’t really your thing. You’d rather stoke the mutual respect between you as allies instead of start up a pattern of fighting then making up.

You crouch at the water's edge, peering into the depths for a moment before splashing your face with cold water, fresh scar throbbing as blood rushes to the surface of your face. The spare tunic you grabbed just brushes the surface of the water, sending ripples throughout your reflection. Curious, you lean over and observe the way the mirror-like pond breaks off into fragments, bits of you here and there mixing in with the moons that lay on russet sky.

Like a painting. You think in awe, having only seen a couple of the artifacts in person. The richest target you were assigned to owned two pieces of art, real paintings on real paper, encased in transparisteel viewing cases before you smashed open the backing to wonder at them. You close your eyes and try to recall the texture of the paint before the rest of your memory catches up and sours the whole thing. The man's home had to be burned in order to erase evidence, his paintings too large to smuggle out of the city.

When you open your eyes the pond has settled with your reflection only- you’re not alone.

“Maker!” You jump at the sight of the Mandalorians gleaming helmet appearing in the reflection. “What the fuck, you sneak.”

He just chuckles in response and offers you a hand, which you take firmly while rolling your eyes and standing. He leads you back to sit with him on the sandy earth, taking ration bars out of his pack- not yours, and breaking them evenly between you. The gesture is surprisingly tender and none too appreciated what with your stomach growling audibly at the bland meal. All at once, you are reminded by the spattering of caf-patches on your limbs, the jitteriness becoming more apparent now that you’re finally still. You’re shaking. Mando notices as well.

“You may explode.” He remarks, prompting you to start pulling off the stimulant, crumpling each piece and setting them neatly in a pile at your knee.

“Good, let me explode. You’re too bossy to work with.” You return with a smirk, hoping your sarcasm lands. He hums in response, pulling one of the patches off of your forearm and flicking it in your direction for you to catch.

Tutting, you roll the patch into a ball and set it at the top of your pile. “Don’t leave a mess, this forest is ugly but at least it’s untouched,” you tell him firmly. Mando just nods.

The ration bars are hardly a delicacy but you shove them in your mouth all the same, appreciating the engineering behind them. They are so calorie rich that a piece the size of your palm can keep you going for hours. However, your body can’t seem to relax despite the food lining your belly- perhaps you actually overdid the caf. You should be tired right now. Staying awake for more than a day isn’t exactly the average schedule but your knee bounces uncontrollably in a frantic pattern, stirring up puffs of sand between you and the warrior.

“You need to tire.” Mando mutters, firmly placing a glove on your thigh and holding the limb down. “Stop that.”

“Sorry,” you reply, trying to freeze yourself and sit as still as he does. Mando always exists so sagely, like a monk. Completely calm when he wants to be before exploding into action, no warm-up necessary. You wonder if he had some sort of meditation training to achieve that. Is that why he sits like that in the cockpit, his back rod straight like a statue? Weirdo.

“Hey…” The palm at your thigh presses again and you suck in a sharp breath. You didn’t even realize you were twitching again. “Do I have to hold you down?” He growls.

You gulp. “Tempting. But no.” Your words come out steadier than you feel. The caf becomes all too much in that moment so you lurch to your feet, his gleaming helmet following your body as it rises jerkily. You feel far too energetic, needing to get the energy out somehow so you can finally pass out. Your idea leaves your mouth before you can truly think it over.

“Wanna fight?”

“...What?” Mando sounds truly surprised even if his body betrays nothing.

“You heard me,” you’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, swaying back and forth like a green sailor on the oceans of Mon Cala. “Let's practice our combat, I rarely get to do that.”

He’s standing before you can blink causing you to jerk back, startled by his speed. The Mandalorian poses right in front of you, too close to not be a challenge with his weight settled on one leg breezily.

“Okay. Hit me.”

What a taunting mother fu- You swing your left hand out as if aiming for the unarmored spot on his ribs, which he blocks with ease… leaving his throat open for your right fist to sharply jab.

The bounty hunter doubles over, coughing and clutching his neck with one hand.

“O-Oh shit! I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean, let me-” You scramble with lost movements, trying and failing to help him straighten upright. It leaves you awkwardly placing your palms on his back while the crown of his helmet presses into your belly. “I, um… Mando?”

His arms wrap around your middle in a flash, pulling you tightly against his chest and throwing both your bodies to the ground. It happens so fast that you can’t even shriek before the air is knocked out of you, hitting the sand hard enough to throw it into the air around you. Gasping, you smack full force at the Mandalorian on top of you, his arms still crushing you against him while your legs lock straight together with his knees on either side. It’s sexy, but you’d really like to breathe. He lets up just barely.

“Nice punch,” he rasps, throat clearly affected by the hit. “Don’t think I’ll hold back after that though.”

“Don’t… want… you to…” You shoot back at him, sharp as you can manage while wheezing. Mandos visor raises ever so slowly and pins you, hidden eyes holding you down more effectively than his body. After a drawn out moment of this, your head spinning as you calculate your escape strategy, he crawls up your body to prop himself above you, locking your wrists in one large hand with the other presses against your chest, shoving your back into the earth. It is just enough pressure to squeeze some air out of your lungs and it is then when you know he isn’t kidding about not holding back.

You’re so fucking happy that he isn’t letting you win.

In other instances, you’d panic at the hopeless feeling of being trapped like this, by someone twice your size and clad in the galaxy’s most powerful steel. But the way he spars with you now, full force and not playing easy... it has implied respect for your skill. He knows you can fight and doesn’t spare you the opportunity to prove it.

Only a second or two has passed since he fully immobilized you and you’re still locked in your flattened position. When he motions to stand, pulling your wrists as if to drag you, you know you must make your move now or it will be too late. The only spot he has open on his body right now is… well, right between his legs. The first thing a smaller fighter learns about combating larger foes is to fight dirty and there is no reason you should hold back if Mando isn’t. Your legs had been pinned tightly together before he moved to drag you but now there is just enough room to swing a knee up and hit him between the legs.

Mando doesn’t wear a full codpiece but luckily for you, the padding on his groin isn’t enough to block your kick. A choked sound rips out of his throat and he falls to one knee, the fingers encircling your wrists loosening slightly while he struggles to fight his body’s natural pain response. You wrench one hand free and use it to grip his cowled neckline, planting your feet against his cuirass and swinging yourself into a hanging position before his grip tightens again. He's steady but you try to dig your feet in to throw him forward, hoping to twist around and land on his back with his face down. He totters for one frozen second, both your bodies on the precipice of falling but unfortunately, he manages to wrench himself backwards and land heavily on his back with you on top.

You’re both gasping and groaning at the shock of hitting the ground so hard, and for one breathless moment all you do is stare heatedly at each other on the forest floor, eyes locking through his visor and somehow you know he is grinning.

His smile mirrors on your face when you feel his hands rip at your clothes, wrenching the thin pants off of you down to your thighs forcefully enough to knock your legs together with a dull thud.

“Did I not just kick you in the dick, Mando?” You laugh, working at his belt at the same time. He palms your ass through your underwear greedily, squeezing so hard that you know finger shaped bruises will blossom there.

“You missed.”

“Must’ve hurt either way…” You mutter, finally managing to reach under his thick layers and wrap your hand around his length, producing a low growl from the man beneath you. “Maybe, it's good I missed.”

The only response you get is his hands pulling both your hands to lay on his chest plate then traveling back down your body to tug aside your underwear and grind you down onto his hips, rubbing your now bare slit against his bulge. You vaguely remember deciding against coming onto him as a form of apology, but for some reason, since he started first that all ceases to matter. It feels like a game you’ve begun to play with each other, playing with the tension between you and the Mandalorian until you find out what breaks your resolve. Maybe it started even before you entered this forest, perhaps back on Nevarro or even on the station.

You can’t tell but you don’t want to question it either.

A moan falls from your throat, your hands moving on their own volition to try and remove his belt entirely, or at least enough to pull his cock out. Mando’s glove flashes up again to circle your wrists, immobilizing them and harshly pinning you down with his vambrace lain across your back.

“You yield?” He asks, voice dripping with a sickly triumph. A chill runs down your back and you feel as if he just dunked you into the pond.

“W-What?”

“You yield… I win?”

“Wha- No!” You cry out indignantly, struggling against his iron grip. “I didn’t realize we were still sparring!”

He laughs, fully bodied and dark with some emotion that swirls deep within your core, and you can’t put your finger on it exactly but you know you’ll have to do something before you’re swept up entirely. “Oh, but we are. What shall the winner gain?” He asks, so quietly that it is almost lost in the warped modulator, barely a question and more so a crackling of static.

Fuck, you’re so wet.

You lick your lips and shakily respond. “I am not one to give up, however-”

“Then don’t. Keep fighting.”

Oh, and you love what he implies. There is no reason to argue further and less time to act, so you immediately struggle hard with the upper half of your body, wrenching your wrists to try and distract him from the way your legs are free to swing into his ribs. But Mando doesn’t fall for your feint a second time. In fact, he seems to have expected it, his leg is more than prepared to hook around the back of your knees and hold you against his body, rolling to the side to throw you underneath him.

You’re pinned on your back with nearly his full weight, unable to do more than weakly punch at what you can reach- unfortunately for you all you can reach is armor. Your cry of anger is cut short when Mando flips onto your front, your chest pressed roughly to the floor of the forest.

The helmet appears over your shoulder, his ragged breathing right by your ear. “T-This okay? You want this?” You can’t find your words to respond with the way you're held so tightly against the earth, so you nod as best you can with one cheek pressed into the ground. Mando snarls something furiously, one hand leaving your back to fumble with his pants and pull his cock out, lining himself up at your soaking entrance and running the head through your folds.

His helmet drops back down to your shoulder, the visor turning and burying itself into the line of your neck and you know that if he weren’t bound by his creed then he would be kissing dark bruises there.

“You know this means I win,” he hisses, pressing his cock to breach your tight opening ever so slightly.

“I-I know.” You whimper weakly.

With that, he fully pushes himself into you and if you weren’t so wet you know his size would be unbearably painful. Instead, the stretch is pure bliss, a slow burning sensation that has a hint of sting to it, his dominance lending to complete submission and all you can do is lay there and take it. There is still the strain you grew to know from when he allowed you to use his body on Nevarro, but something about Mando topping you encourages you to open yourself for him with more ease.

He quickly bottoms out then holds himself till, allowing you to adjust to his size. You’re writhing as much as possible under the way he crushes you to the floor, knees carving grooves in the soft sandy earth.

“Fuck,” Mando grits, teeth clenched together so hard that you swear you can hear the grinding in his jaw. “You’re so fucking tight, fuck.”

The position is hard to maintain on the soft ground, his hands keep sliding ever so slightly on either side of you forcing him to adjust every few seconds. His patience breaks after the third time this happens, a growl crackling through the helmet as he settles his hands on your lower back and hoists his body up, knees planted on either side of your thighs, crushing them together with intense pressure on your clit. Your body is locked tight, pussy clenching harder around his cock when he rises into an upright position.

You let out a genuine scream when he draws back then thrusts sharply into you, pain mixing with pleasure in a manner far more biting than on his ship, when he had let you take control entirely, never even doing so much as to thrust into you. It is almost too much for you but even while you struggle to take his cock, you don’t dare tell him to stop, nor do you want him to stop. You’re so blinded by the stretch that you don’t realize he is speaking until you miss several, distorted words.

“Fuck, why did I wait, why did I wait? I should’ve fuck-fucked you back on the station, approached you in that hangar and made myself fucking clear-” Each gritted word is accentuated by a mean thrust, his dick is so big that he has to shove himself inside of you rather than glide, breaking you open in a way that burns so sweetly. Your legs are held together, knees locked and straight, which doesn’t help how tight you are but you can’t budge at all to open yourself to Mando, his hands pressing down at your lower back so heavily that you’re short of breath.

A garbled moan is forced out of you when Mando grinds his length into your pussy as deep as he can possibly reach, hips smashing against your ass while he pulses inside of you and for a second you think he's cumming. But no- he draws himself from your depths and starts to rut his cock between your cheeks, head resting on your upper back and hands by your head.

A powerful hand wraps under your side and settles at your sternum, pulling you back against his cuirass and lifting so that you end up seated together, fitting against him without even an inch of space between your bodies. His hand lifts your hips, other appendage snaking around to position his cock back at your entrance before allowing gravity to do the work, your legs spreading to rest on either side of his thighs as you sink down on him to the hilt.

Once settled, Mando starts to work you on his cock, lifting you like you weigh no more than a pebble then letting go. The head of his cock slams full force into your pussy with the weight of your entire body, each brutal pounding sending sparks of pleasure up your spine. Lungs free and no longer crushed to the floor, you’re unable to stay quiet, broken sobs and moans puffing from gritted teeth as he takes what he denied himself on his ship, the memory a thousand miles away as your processing center is fucked stupid.

You can’t say how long this goes on for, maybe minutes, maybe hours, but the next thing you know is that your cheek is back on the sand, burning from the way it chaffs against the floor with each rhythmic thrust that claps against your thighs. You’re don’t even know if you’ve cum yet but it doesn’t matter, not with the way he is fucking the life out of you here in the wilderness. Mando is still talking, still uttering filth and praise through the helmet and all you can think about is how badly you want to hear his real voice speaking that way to you, you’re so close to asking him to take it off but you can’t find the words, you can’t think, you can’t-

Abruptly, he grinds to a halt at the deepest point in your body then pulls himself free, pushing your shirt up lighting fast before cumming across your back with a choked exclamation. You’re both still for a second before your knees collapse, landing flat on your belly and gasping desperately. There is a shuffling noise behind you, accompanied with heavy breaths from the bounty hunter. It sounds like he’s rummaging through something then, yeah- your train of thought is confirmed when a wet cloth wipes his pleasure from your skin, gently trailing along your spine and ass.

You reach behind you and hold his wrist, feeling the fluttering pulse there. “I’ll win next time…” You whisper, drawing his hand along the soreness on your bottom, the area he bruised, you suspect. He laughs- or pants you can’t really tell, but either way his touch becomes more gentle on your body, smoothing out the tense muscles and cleaning you up. Today's travels with the man have suddenly caught up to you and you might pass out right here, half clothed and dirty.

“Come on, get up. Don’t sleep here.” Mando firmly states, helping you up and guiding you across the clearing after you pull your leggings up from where they gathered at your ankle. You’re trembling like a leaf, fragile in your spent state but glowing all the same. Mando sets you down on a log and brings you a canteen of water which you gulp down thankfully. He chuckles. “Wait up or I’ll have to drink from the spring.”

That gives you pause, reminding you of something he said while you lay beneath him. You’re slightly nervous to ask but you do it anyway, warm and satisfied on your perch while he cares for you. “You.. When you were, um- fucking me. Well, you said something about how you shouldn’t have waited. Does that mean what I think it means?”

He nods, “I noticed you for other reasons too, burc’ya.”

“Maybe you should’ve fucked me back then.” Taking another gulp then handing the canteen back, you stretch then slide down to sit on the ground with him, back against the log. “You said that word before, ber-borshaw?”

“Burc’ya.”He corrects,“It means friend in Mando’a.”

“Oh.”You cheeks heat, feeling silly and rude for not recognizing the use of his people’s tongue, also noting that he used it to refer to you twice now, endearingly. It is an honor, one that makes you nervous. You feel like you should apologize, somehow. “Y-You speak Mando’a? I’ve never heard you use it before.”

Mando settles against the log, leaning his broad shoulders to rest against the wood near your side. A few moments pass before he responds, “I chose to not use it around the others. Didn’t trust them.”

“Oh, so you trust me?” You giggle, tapping the side of his helmet with your elbow. Questions burn within you and you may as well ask now, in the quiet afterglow of sex where everything is warm and slow. “Why didn’t you trust them if you started the company with Ran? How am I any different?”

“You aren’t ruthless,” he surprises you by answering immediately, and you can’t decide whether you're insulted or not before he continues. “Ruthless and cruel is all that group ended up being, and it didn’t start out that way. We weren’t just mercenaries, we had a code. In the early days, attacking a slave ship would’ve been out of the question. Ran wasn’t always so full of greed.”

Silence falls after he speaks, letting you mull over his explanation for a while while the waterfall rumbles in the background. Really, his perspective confuses you when you think back on your actions as a mercenary. Desperate to climb the ranks, to make a name for yourself, to earn credits and reputation. You suppose you conducted yourself with empathy, avoiding selection for hits that targeted innocent people if you could help it. You never had much choice in the area but it seems your actions spoke louder than realized. So much energy spent to avoid seeming weak and you never considered that your aversion doubled as strength.

“Friend…” You whisper, not of your own accord. The word floats on your tongue, a specter within your vocabulary. In your adulthood you’ve had allies, you’ve had teammates, you’ve had acquaintances, but to have a friend… it terrifies you as much as it warms your heart. You considered yourself partnered professionally with the Mandalorian and didn’t dare to consider yourself lovers, no matter how much you privately hoped. But a friend is a luxury you didn’t hold close, mainly out of fear. You lost too many as a child. For a faceless man he manages to strike areas that are quite intimate.

You decide that you’ll enjoy being his friend, a bit surprised that you aren’t too hurt by what is essentially a romantic rejection of the crush you held for so long. Probably because this is real , solid and built within reality instead of the silly fantasies you built prior.

This is better than lovers, you tell yourself, the slight ache in your heart melting into the background of your desires, behind lock and key for another world.

“I’ll take ‘friend’, Mando.” You grin, extending a hand to him cheekily. He stares for a second before taking it and shaking, helmet tilting in a respectful nod.

His next words send an unexpected pang throughout your chest, taking all the careful walls you worked hard to set up and throwing them into a blazing inferno.

“Let’s see where it goes.”

Fuck.

----------------

Leather boots prance lightly through thick branches high in the trees, footfalls landing silently with all the grace of an athlete. Through the delicate glasses perched on the pursuers nose, a red glow blooms on the shadowy floor of the swamp, two sets of footprints lighting up to reveal a steady path made by the travelers. A musical giggle bubbles out of the darkly dressed woman as she pulls a small holo-watch from her bag and straps it onto her wrist, pale light mixing with her lavender skin, transforming it into a sickly grey.

Xi’an claps a hand over her mouth to prevent her cackle from ringing through the trees as her plan takes form.

***

TAG LIST (working on it slowly, message if you want)

@velia27 @shrekscoochiehair @tbhitisdbh @sparklingwitches @lazyonasunday @peach-child @leah-halliwell92 @riot-sounds

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iceshard1011 · 4 years ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders Characters: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Additional Tags: Mild Language, great way to start off the tags, Movie Night, Getting Together, Getting Back Together, First Kiss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Romantic Fluff, allusions to a messy breakup, they're all disney princes, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, because of course it is, also Post-Episode: Flirting with Social Anxiety, because i'm never getting over that ep, Virgil is a smitten bastard, someone get this boy reassurance and cuddles rq, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Good Friend, (and an even better future boyfriend), Nicknames, Banter, look just because they're in love doesn't mean they're not gonna roast each other, Prinxieceit is just everyone needing love and then simultaneously getting that love, it's what they deserve, i stole the title from the lyrics of a song because i have no imagination Summary:

Virgil had wanted them to make up, just... not like this.

At least, that’s what he had thought.

It started with a goddamn Disney movie, because of course it did.

Well, it didn’t, but that was the best way to sum up... everything.

Virgil was curled up against the corner of the couch, knees pressed to his chest. He was as small as he could make himself, but it still felt like Janus was far too close, regardless of being on the other side of the living room. Patton was wrapped in his favourite blanket. Logan was perched, relaxed, beside Janus. Virgil didn’t know how he did it. All he had to do is look in that snake’s direction and his stomach would churn and his heart would start burning and —

Growling silently at himself, Virgil focused on the television: on Ana’s harmonic voice and Hans’ bright expression.

It was then, of all times, that Roman started to sing.

Quiet at first, hardly a hum muffled by barely parted lips. But it was there, and it was more music than the mindscape had heard in weeks.

Patton didn’t react like Virgil knew he truly wanted to (with assumedly deafening squeals and clapping), but he watched the moral side just barely contain excited vibrations. Virgil struggled to hide a smile. He didn’t miss Logan’s subtle appraising glance in the prince’s direction, either.

Then another voice joined in, and Virgil’s beaming heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach.

He tried not to glare at Janus. He didn’t want to cause a scene. It was movie night and it had been more peaceful than most previous tense, uncomfortably quiet nights. He didn’t want to be the one to ruin it for everyone. (For Roman, he wouldn’t admit.)

But Roman hesitated the moment Janus accompanied him, and Virgil could just see the expressions flashing through his face and hear the thoughts to accompany them, despite only seeing the back of his tussle-haired head. He’s already seen it all enough times.

But then he started again and Virgil wondered if this was what mental whiplash felt like.

He sat there, heart in his throat, as he listened to the pair duet to a Disney song about deception and naivety and toxic romance with all the connection and love that they never had.

The gradually widening hole in Virgil’s chest gaped considerably when Janus stood and offered Roman a hand, still singing to Hans’ voice. Virgil had to bite onto a whimper to keep it from leaving his mouth when Roman accepted.

Patton giggled, delighted, as Janus twirled the two of them around the living room, both harmonising like angelic love-struck Disney princes, their voices rising above those of the movie. Even Logan looked amused as he watched.

Virgil felt nothing but sinking dread.

It had been nearly midnight when Roman had stormed into Virgil’s room, a panicked, emotional mess of a broken heart, and collapsed on the bed beside Virgil. It had been a few weeks since the ‘wedding fiasco’ and Virgil was already sick of it.

Not Roman, to clarify. Never, ever Roman.

But the angst. The tense dinners and awkward conversations. The sneaking glances Janus would shoot at Roman, and the way Roman avoided every single look.

The way Roman’s eyes had stopped glittering. The way he never sang. The way he trembled in Virgil’s grip like a leaf in a storm, like a tortured puppy waiting for another punishment to fall when he least expected.

The way Roman still cried, still begged for things that Virgil couldn’t give him.

The way Janus had taken something as precious as Roman’s unyielding, unconditional trust and loyalty and love, and broken it into a million pieces without ever considering its value.

The way he could do nothing but hide his own tears in ruffled hair and wait for the wails to stop.

“I’m sorry,” he could only whisper on deaf ears, the exhausted prince long passed out in his arms, and, “I’m here. I have you.”

Never it’s okay, or, you’ll be alright. Virgil wasn’t about to echo sentiments that had no guarantee to be true.

He wasn’t sinking to that level.

“I need to apologise,” Roman had said, his voice cutting through the peaceful silence of the room. Sudden, but not abrupt. He was hardly so dramatic and shocking anymore. Virgil had no idea he could ever miss it so much.

He looked up from his sketch journal and titled his head.

Roman had stopped colouring the printed sheets of calming exercises and was now staring at the ground, turning the green pencil over between his fingers. There was a determined light in his eyes, something that Virgil hadn’t seen in so long. One that he didn’t dare extinguish now.

“Taking the first step would... That would be brave, right?” He looked up at Virgil, still so damn trusting, too damn dependent. “I would be brave again.”

You’ve always been brave, Virgil didn’t say.

Roman deflated at his silence and it felt like a stab to the gut. “M-maybe.... maybe not.”

“No,” Virgil blurted, and Roman looked like Virgil had just slapped him. He stumbled over himself to continue. “I mean — I meant no, wait, because — because that’s a good idea.”

“You really think so?” Roman asked tremulously. Virgil swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Yes,” he said, but it sounded like a lie. Why did it sound like a lie? “Yeah, Princey. Of course.”

Roman’s face fell from its hopeful expression, and Virgil wanted to scream and yell. Wanted to take Roman’s face in his hands and promise that nothing was his fault and he was perfect and fine and Virgil loved every single part of him and Roman never had to worry about anything ever.

“Are you certain?” Roman asked, and Virgil hated how uncertain he was, how uncertain he had never been until these past weeks. Months.

“I think making the first move is the bravest thing anyone could choose to do,” Virgil told him, and it was the most honest thing he had ever said.

“Really?” Roman asked again. This time his voice cracked. Virgil’s gut roiled, and he decided that he had had enough.

He moved forward on his knees, ignoring Roman’s squeak of surprise when he was gripped by the shoulders, and straightened to glower fiercely down at the prince.

“If you think that is what’s best, then you do it,” he said without room for argument. “You don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You don’t let anyone convince you out of it. If it screws up, fine, try something else. If it works, then great, well done, mission accomplished. Move on to the next step. You are the only one with control over your life, and your actions, and the thoughts going through your head. Do you understand?”

Roman honestly looked a little awestruck, and when Virgil’s own actions caught up with him, he had to fight the rising blush. He shook Roman, if only to stop him from looking like that.

“Understand, Princey?” he prompted.

Roman then shook himself and blinked rapidly.

Please don’t cry, Virgil thought.

But Roman smiled. A huge, trembling, genuine smile, one Virgil hadn’t seen in so long that he had lost track of the days, and Virgil felt as if he might pass out.

“I understand,” Roman said, and Virgil barely had time to relax before the prince ducked forward, and between Roman coming towards him and then shooting out of the room calling thanks over his shoulder, Virgil’s mind malfunctioned.

It took a moment of silently sitting in the middle of the floor, probably looking quite pathetic, before Virgil slowly raised a cold hand to the flaming skin of his cheek.

He blinked, and his brain caught up enough to register the lips that had been pressed there.

Holy shit, Virgil thought. “Holy shit.”

Roman probably hadn’t even noticed he’d done it. Had he even realised what he’d just done to Virgil? How much Virgil was not going to get over this for a very long time?

He didn’t want to think about it — in fact, he was in favour of drowning out all his thoughts for the rest of time — but it still grew, unbidden, in the back of his mind.

Did he mean it?

Virgil hated Janus.

Of course he did. Janus was manipulative and smug and chose lies over truth like a suffocating man would choose oxygen over water. That wasn’t his best metaphor, but metaphors weren’t Virgil’s thing.

The point was that Janus had never cared about anyone other than himself. He kept people at arm’s length like his life depended on it, and he never did anything that wouldn’t benefit him.

Virgil hated that. He struggled with relationships to begin with — any kind of relationships.

He wouldn’t admit it, and he didn’t even know it at first, but he needed support in a relationship — as anyone would. He needed someone to reach out and allow him to meet them halfway. He wasn’t built to continuously reach out and plead for the other half of a relationship to work with him. He needed that first step to be taken first.

It was why he was so perplexed by Patton at first. It was why the light sides had baffled him every time he was with them.

It was why their family had lasted so long.

And also why his and Janus’ hadn’t.

He loved Patton and Logan and Thomas. He loved Roman, more than he should. And he hated Janus.

Of course he did.

He had to.

There was never a direct conversation.

Roman and Janus never went off by themselves and never came back with an obvious change of heart. It was still tense for a long while, and Virgil still didn’t enjoy dinners, and didn’t attend movie nights. Neither did Roman, apparently, as multiple times Virgil ran into him in the hallway, trying silently not to attract attention.

Virgil never asked about it, but he knew. It was obvious.

But there were little things.

When Janus made morning beverages for everyone, he included a sparkling gold-and-red mug on the tray, and Virgil had caught the moment he quietly asked Patton, thinking they were alone, how Roman liked his coffee.

When Roman roughly sketched a tableau of the group when he thought no one was paying attention (that would later become an oil painting that was kept in a quiet corner of his bedroom, no matter how gorgeous Virgil insisted it was) Janus and Remus were both included, despite the latter having been absent in the time of the planning stage. And when Virgil had peered closely at the final product, he’d silently marveled at the gentle expression on Janus’ face, serene and empathic and gazing at the others with a softness that Virgil hardly ever saw so openly. (How had Roman been able to capture it so perfectly?) So different compared to the ‘reptilian rapscallion’ he’d been depicted as weeks ago.

(His scales had been iridescent.)

So, yeah. It didn’t start with the month’s first fully attended movie night. It started with so much more before that that Virgil didn’t want to think about.

He trapped the growling scream in his throat, tugged at his hair like he could tug the vicious images from his head.

He didn’t want to think about Janus twirling Roman around the living room, treating him as if he were a prince in the movie. He didn’t want to think about Janus’ confidence and how Virgil himself could never do that. He didn’t want to think about Roman’s smile when he thought about talking to Janus. He didn’t want to think about flushed faces and breathless laughs and eyes so goddamn lovestruck it was sickening. He didn’t want to think about mismatched eyes glittering more than he had ever seen in so long and flaming scales and —

NO! No, no, no!

Virgil buried his face into his pillow.

He didn’t want to think.

The pillow didn’t do much to suffocate his thoughts.

His throat was parched, though. Sobbing and coughing and wailing into your mattress to muffle screams would do such a thing.

God, he needed a drink.

Water. Water. He needed water.

After pulling himself from the bed, he trudged through the hall and down the stairs, no doubt looking like he had just woken up. It was dark, and the lights were off. Everyone else must have followed suit after Virgil had gone upstairs.

Stinging eyes half-closed, he fumbled with the kitchen cabinets and clawed out a glass for himself.

It was when he turned around to the sink, now facing the living room, that he noticed he wasn’t alone.

Two pairs of wide, horrified eyes were locked on him. Janus was without his hat and cape. His always formally presented shirt was crinkled, his hair tousled from broad fingers carding through it. Roman had discarded his prince attire, and he looked somehow small in his black undershirt. His redden lips were the same colour as his cheeks. Virgil felt sick. Roman didn’t own red lipstick.

They had separated long before Virgil had seen them. It didn’t make much of a difference.

The sound of the glass dropping in the sink startled Virgil from being frozen.

Janus’ mouth moved as he spoke but Virgil didn’t hear what he said as he took a step backwards. His words only caught up to Virgil a few seconds later when he was already backing up towards the other end of the kitchen.

“Virgil, darling —”

“No,” Virgil said, even though oddly nothing audible came out. He took another step back and his back bumped against the counter.

“Virgil, we —”

“Stop,” Virgil finally said out loud. Janus stopped. “Just — get out.” His voice cracked. No, worse: his whisper cracked. It kind of took away from the way Virgil wanted to emphasize just how pissed he was right now.

“Virgil —”

“Shut up,” Virgil snapped at him, but his voice still wasn’t above a rasp. “Get out.”

“Listen to me, shadow —”

“NO!” Virgil roared. Janus didn’t flinch, but behind him, Roman quailed backwards. “I don’t care! Don’t fucking try to lie yourself out of the fact that I walked in on —” He cut off there, because he almost said something that he would never be able to take back. “Just get out.”

“Virge,” Roman said placatingly, because he was a moron who didn’t listen even when he really should, “I know you’re angry —”

“He’s not angry,” Janus interjected because he was an asshole who liked making Virgil’s life absolute hell. He glared at the ground, fuming. He couldn’t look up. If he looked up...

He stood, once again frozen, head bowed like a prisoner on death row. Roman was silent. Beyond Janus’ burning gaze pinning him to the spot, Virgil could sense the prince looking between the two of them, concerned.

Janus’ voice came as a crushing blow, the final landing hit before everything ended.

“He’s heartbroken.”

The penny dropped, and it was still once more.

Virgil trembled under the weight of the silence. He glared at the droplets of salty water collecting on the tiles in front of his socks.

“What?” Roman’s voice wasn’t above a whisper.

A hand, cool and smooth and just barely quivering — one that couldn’t be Janus because he always wore his gloves and he was never so vulnerable around someone like Virgil — came to press against Virgil’s cheek, careful fingers trailing his jaw.

Virgil found that he was rooted to the spot. “Don’t. You can’t be any different now then you were before.”

“I’ve grown since then,” Janus whispered. His hand burned. “We both have. You know that.”

Virgil closed his eyes and more tears trailed down his face.

“How could you?” he asked, opening his eyes to glare up at Janus. “How could you ever change?”

The look on Janus’ face was indescribable apart from open. “You know how,” he murmured, and cold pads brushed against Virgil’s lip. “You know.”

A sigh shook itself from Virgil, and he slumped.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, and it was a plea. Virgil didn’t beg, but he was.

It wasn’t a retort. It was a request.

Virgil didn’t ask for things. He couldn’t. He was too self-conscious and hyper aware of being ungrateful or demanding. Too scared of being rejected. So he never asked for anything. He just... didn’t.

But he was.

“I would never,” Janus whispered, and Virgil wanted to be furious, because that was a lie. Janus had lied so many times. He always lied.

He lied about simple things. He lied to Thomas. He lied about what he wanted. He made things difficult with the deceit that spewed from his mouth.

He wasn’t talking about simple things.

Still shaking, Virgil closed his eyes. He lifted his chin and tilted his head.

He waited.

And cool lips, half rough and scratchy, half soft, moved themselves against Virgil’s.

It didn’t feel the same as Virgil remembered. It tasted like hesitance and request and trust. It was also apparently mushing Virgil’s brain.

He didn’t realise how slack his shoulders had gotten until Janus pulled back and Virgil had to take a breath. He stared up at the... snake. He didn’t feel betrayed. Or horrified. Or even a little disgusted. He wanted Janus to keep staring at him. He wanted to be kissed like that again.

He looked down at where Janus had taken his hands. In the corner of his eye, he could see Janus looking at him with something akin to anxiety, but Virgil kept his gaze on their clasped hands. He clenched them tighter, and felt Janus relax.

He felt another pair of eyes on him and looked up.

Roman was fidgeting. He was looking between Janus and Virgil with a look that Virgil hadn’t seen... ever. He hadn’t even looked at Nico with so much adoration and love and like he would do literally anything in the world for the subjects of his attention. It made Virgil feel slightly breathless.

But he was playing with his hands, a nervous gesture Virgil was familiar with.

Janus didn’t give Virgil a chance to make a move.

“Come here, my prince,” he said, voice still soft. He reached out. “We have room.”

Roman looked moments away for throwing himself at them, but he held back. He looked at Virgil, and the anxious side was startled to see his eyes shining with fighting tears.

And goddamn it if it was the cheesiest thing he had ever said but fuck if his chest didn’t fill with so much warmth it felt like he was going to explode.

“C’mon, Ro,” he said with a smile. He couldn’t smirk. Somehow his face wasn’t letting him. “Not gonna keep me waiting, are you?”

Meeting the challenge without an ounce of hesitation, Roman lunged for him, and Virgil surprised himself by taking his own pounce right into the prince’s arms and crushing their lips together.

It was more than Janus’ kiss, which was still so full of fear and hurt and guilt and the want to be something once more and the need for closure. Still so freshly wounded.

This was different. This was fiery and passionate and made Virgil turn pliant.

“I want you,” Roman whispered when they pulled back. “I want...”

Virgil tilted his head. “Go on,” he murmured.

“I want both of you,” Roman blurted, looking between Janus and Virgil. “Is... Is that okay?”

Virgil cupped the prince’s chin in his hands. He glanced back at Janus, who immediately took the hint and slid over to them, one hand moving to the back of Virgil’s neck and the other to Roman’s hair. Virgil watched in amusement as Roman near-melted beneath the attention, nearly purring in pleasure. That was a trick he would have to try himself at some point.

“I don’t know about either of you,” Janus purred.

“Liar.” Virgil smirked.

“But I would consider a further discussion about this remarkably important to a growing relationship,” Janus finished.

“Well, yes, but —” Roman cut himself off, nodding. “Yes. Alright. That makes sense.”

“Don’t do that, Princey,” Virgil told him, headbutting his chin gently.

“Go on, darling,” Janus said.

Roman still blushed, but tentatively asked, “Can we... just stay like this for tonight?”

“A huddle in the middle of the kitchen?” Janus asked with raised eyebrows, and Roman’s blush deepened.

“You stale croissant,” Virgil said, smacking Janus’ shoulder, “don’t bully him.”

“It’s alright,” Roman assured with a smile. A real one. “But I do have to ask where that nickname came from.”

“You’re on thin fucking ice too, Your Highness,” Virgil snapped, pointing a threatening finger in his face.

“We just made out, dearheart,” Roman said with a smug grin, swooping in to peck the comeback right out of Virgil’s lips. “You can act upset tomorrow.”

Smirking, Janus fidgeted absentmindedly with the sleeve of Virgil’s hoodie.

“Now,” he said, capturing the two bickering... boyfriends? Were they — Was that too far? “Your room, my prince?”

Roman looked tired, but he still lit up. “Oh, yes,” he breathed, moving to clutch Janus and Virgil’s hands between his own. “You’ll love it. I’ve got a bed big enough to fit all of us, and it’s not too obtrusive and I can use the fairy lights and —”

“Alright, darling,” Janus said, kissing him on the cheek. “Show us when we get there.”

Roman, beaming, turned and guided them up the stairs.

Janus made to follow but hesitated at the last minute, glancing back at Virgil. His eyes weren’t guarded as they normally would be, and it made Virgil feel vulnerable in turn. Janus opened and closed his mouth but didn’t seem able to speak.

Virgil took Janus’ hand in his. “Not backing out now, are you?”

Janus looked fiercely affronted. “Oh, definitely,” he said with an attitude of someone who had just been told it didn’t count if you got slapped by someone with their left hand even though they’re right-handed. And Virgil, despite everything, laughed.

It was only when crawling under cool, heavy red blankets that Virgil realised he had forgotten to have that drink of water.

He watched Janus trail a path down Roman’s features, smirking at the prince’s ticklish giggles, their bright eyes reflecting the soft glow of the dim, glittering lights overhead. At their three-way still-clasped hands lying atop the blankets. He smiled.

No matter. His chest didn’t feel so tight anymore.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #prinxieceit #prinxiety #roceit #anxceit #patton sanders #logan sanders #angst with a happy ending #cross posted on ao3 #getting back together #mild language #i don't know what else to tag lmao #long post

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lilred8220 · 4 years ago

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Well, yet another fic no one asked for😃

I wanted to write this because some time go, I was watching the fireworks when this song started to play↓↓↓

And I just thought how romantic it would be if I wasn't forever alone 🙃 so, I build a story around that. I hope you enjoy it!

P.s. This is a F!MC

I had been so excited for this day! In the human realm, my hometown this time of year had a huge festival ending with a huge firework show. I had asked to go a week in advance but due to being in the Devildom for the exchange program, I couldn't go. It definitely was a disappointment. However Diavolo, seeing me upset and now curious about the tradition, asked all about it and he thought it sounded fun. Thanks to him always wanting to do anything new, he immediately decided to do the same here in the Devildom.

So through the long week, he asked about everything we would do at the event to make it much more fun and quickly get everything ready to make this last second festival. It somehow all came together and it feels almost exactly like the festival from the human realm. The food, sweets and all! Now it was the time to enjoy the festival!

The brothers couldn't understand why I was so excited for this. Though we all went to festivals and saw fireworks, It was just something that I would always look forward to this time of the year and it's just more special this time around. It kinda feels as if I'm sharing something that I love with everyone I care about in a place where I like to call my new home. Hopefully they'll come to enjoy this as much as I do.

"So, this is called an Elephant ear?“ Beel asked, drooling at the large fried sweet in front of him.

I laugh, as I grab a piece before he can scarf the treat whole, "Yeah, it's just fried dough with powdered sugar on it. They usually sell these at any carnival or festival." I pop the elephant ear in my mouth, savoring the amazing taste.

The brothers each had something to eat as we took a break from all the festival games littered around. We all take two picnic benches for the 8 of us, well, us and Beel's giant pile of food he got. Everyone had won something from the games…well everyone but me and Mammon. Mammon was determined to win a game, yet his luck seemed to be the worse for wear today and all the games we'd gone to all ended up with one of the other brothers winning the game. My luck honestly wasn't any better due to playing the same games that the others had won.

"I'm telling ya! Those games are rigged! The people runnin 'em are just a bunch of con artists!“ Mammon yells, clearly frustrated that he hasn't gotten anything.

"Or maybe you just suck lol" Levi says, holding a Ruri-chan plush to his chest.

"Honestly, you really shouldn't be surprised, you were pretty terrible at all those games since you had no choice but to play fair." Satan adds on, which all the brothers nod in agreement.

Asmo laughs, "Well, what do you expect from a scumbag?"

I start to get annoyed as the brothers all start to bash on Mammon. He seems fine on the surface but I've been around him long enough, with him basically living in my room and all, to see all his little ticks. Like when he's excited, his hand gestures are more dramatic, to emphasize his point or how his eyes light up when something catches his attention, like something to make a quick buck. However, right now, with the way his mouth slightly twitches and his hand shoved into his pockets, he's upset. He really only does this when the brothers throw insult after insult at him, like right now.

I sigh as they continue their assault on him. But an idea comes to mind and it'll be easy enough to pull off.

"Does...that all that stuff apply to me too? Since I didn't win anything either, after all..." I say, putting on my best pouting face and looking down at the ground.

Immediately, the brothers started to panic, trying to reassure me that it wasn't true, successfully drawing their attention away from Mammon. I slightly looked up, passed the frantic brothers to lock eyes with Mammon. He stood there for a moment, a bit confused by my sudden comment. I flash him a quick smirk before looking up at the brothers, accepting their apologies. The brothers seemed to relax and drop the topic after that, returning to the food they have. Mammon, who had seemingly understood what my intentions really were, looked at me, with his face slightly flushed, then stared down at his food.

In Mammon's mind, he honestly doesn't know what force sent Y/N here but, she is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to him. At first, he hated the idea of being her guardian due to all of the extra work he was given. But, as days turned to weeks, her treatment towards him was nothing but sweet and loving. It honestly was a huge adjustment for him, since everyone treated him like scum or useless, having her place so much faith in him, even defending him and doing little gestures like this, it makes his head spin. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but, his feelings for her drastically changed, he couldn't deny it now, how he longed for her, wanted her all to himself. How he loved her unconditionally.

I smile, quickly finish eating my food then stand up, "Ok! Time to get back to the games!“ I say, excitedly.

"Y/N, I'm glad you are excited but some of us still need to eat." Lucifer says, glancing at Beel and his mountain of food.

"Awww, come on Lucifer, I wanna try to win something before the fireworks start." I plop down again, putting my chin in my hands.

"Well, I'm sure we'll have plenty of time." Lucifer tries to cheer me up, eating some fries.

Mammon looks up at Y/N, upon seeing her upset. He honestly hated seeing Y/N upset, even if for something so small as to wait for everyone to finish eating. He wanted nothing more than to see her smile everyday, it honestly was one of his favorite parts of the day to see her smile so sweetly. He'll do anything to make her happy. He sits up and scarfs down his food before standing up. "Ok, how 'bout this,' ' Mammon gets up and walks over to me, ' ' since I haven't won anythin', I'm gonna go play some more games and I'll meet ya guys later. Y/N, ya can come if ya want to." Mammon starts to walk away, at a slower pace than he usually would.

"Yeah! Ok!" Before any of the other brothers could protest, I quickly got up and hurried over to Mammon. I can hear the brothers stumbling to get up to follow us.

"Hey! Mammon is stealing Y/N!"

"That's not fair!“

"That scumbag..."

I hear some of the things they're saying as they seem to be trying to catch up.

I grab Mammon's hand and start to make a run for it. "Come on!" I glanced back at Mammon, who seemed shocked. He looks back to see the brothers in hot pursuit of us. Getting the hint, Mammon picks up the pace. We high tail it out of there, laughing like a bunch of kids all the while.

Me and Mammon finally stop and I flop on the floor, trying to catch my breath as Mammon puts his hands on his knees.

"I…I think we lost 'em" Mammon pants, out of breath from running around.

"I…I think so…jeez, how…how do you always do this when you get in trouble?“ I wheeze out, my human body not used to running as much as a demon. Especially if that demon is Mammon.

Mammon straightens up, finally catching his breath, "Well, I'm not usually running from ALL of my brothers, just Lucifer mostly."

Mammon reaches his hand to me and after a moment, I let him help me up. He helps me to my feet and when I look up, his face is very close to mine. We stare at each other for a moment before both of our faces turn more flushed than we already were.

His bright blue eyes that have a hint of that golden yellow has me in a trance. When I first met Mammon, it was the first thing that drew my attention, it's honestly something that I always find myself staring at all of the time. They are very beautiful to me and never fail to make me feel relaxed when I see them. But not only that, he is a very handsome man. His rich caramel skin with his pure white hair makes his face stand out even more. He is just so captivating to look at, however his personality is what truly makes him shine. Even if he tries, and fails, to hide his true feelings, he always has his heart on his sleeve, rather if he realizes that or not. He tries so hard to help me or to even make my day brighter when I'm not feeling my best. He even tries to protect his brothers and is always there for them. He honestly is the most caring person I've ever met and I can't help but fall for him because of that.

Mammon looked down at her face, he honestly couldn't help but stare. In his mind, she was more beautiful than anyone he's ever seen. Her beauty not only stopped at her looks but the person she was. She was a true wonder to him, too good to be true yet, here she was, defying all logic. All he wanted to do was look at every detail of her face, her eyes as they shine, her soft skin as the blush covers her face, her parted lips as her breath finally slows down. Mammon was the first to turn away, catching himself now staring at nothing but her lips.

He clears his throat. "W-Well since we're here, let's get to some games!" Mammon says, his fangs flash with his grin.

We made our way to the nearest game booth, both of us looking at the various prizes. The booth in question is a simple ring toss, the bottles are organized by colors which show what size prize you can get. There are the ridiculously large stuffed bears that are taller than me to the very small animal plushies. Scanning all the prizes, one catches my attention, a black plush crow with a yellow tag on it. It was big enough to hold in your arms, it's wings dangled at its sides. It had its beak opened slightly to look like a smile. I glance over at Mammon, who is currently eyeing a plushie of a grimm, that also has a yellow tag hanging off of it. I laugh, thinking of how that plush crow reminded me of him.

Mammon looks at me, slightly confused, "What are ya laughing at?"

"Oh nothing, though I know what prize I want." I smile, looking back at the crow plush.

Mammon follows my eyes over to the plush, he tilts his head at my choice, "Ya sure that's what ya want? There are plenty of things better than that ol' crow."

I nod enthusiastically, "Yeah, I think it's cute, like someone else I know." I playfully push him.

His ears turn a dark red but he laughs, "Well, I know what I want so, let's go and win some prizes!“

We pay the demon running the game and start trying to make the rings reach its mark. However, as in most carnaval games, the rings in question are only slightly bigger than the top of the bottles, making it much harder to win. Not to mention the bottles for the better prizes are further back, making it much harder. As we try a couple times, we don't get much luck and we're running out of grimms to play. However as we reach our last game, even though I end up with nothing, Mammon manages to sink a ring on a yellow bottle.

"We have a winner!“ the demon behind the booth says, walking over to grab the ring.

"Yeah! This was nothin' for the Great Mammon!" Mammon threw his hands in the air, and I cheered with him, "You did it! You won!“

The demon walks back over to us, "Alrighty, you can pick a prize with a yellow tag. Which will it be?"

Mammon's eyes flick to the plush he was eyeing earlier and he goes to speak, but an announcement rings through the speakers all around the festival, "The firework show will be starting in 15 minutes, marking the end of the festival! So hurry and grab a seat to enjoy the show!“ a cheery voice says before the music from before starts to play again. Mammon looks down at me for a moment before a small smile appears on his face.

Mammon looks at the demon and points at the plush crow, "I'll take that one."

I look up at Mammon, "But, I thought you wanted-“ I get cut off by the demon swift return, "Here you go." The demon hands him the crow plush.

Mammon takes the plush from the demon with his usual bright smile and starts walking off, I quickly follow, still confused. Once I catch up, he looks at me with a blush on his face and holds out the crow to me.

"W-well, there wasn't really anythin' I wanted, so I figured I'd get this ol' crow since ya seemed to want it so bad." He says with his usual bravado, yet it was a bit more shy than normal.

"But, you said…" I start to say as I take the plush but, cut my thought short.

Even though I know he wanted something, that much he's been saying all day, he still got me this crow plush. Knowing how he struggles to do these things and becoming a stuttering mess when it's pointed out, I choose to not question him. Yet, I can't help but love him even more, him knowing that I wanted something as well and that he'll be going back home later with nothing. I'll have to repay him later but for now, I'll just enjoy the rest of the festival with him.

I shake my head and give him a smile, one that shows how much I truly appreciate and love him, "Thank you so much, Mammon." I hold the crow close to myself.

Mammon feels all the air in his lungs escape him. Y/N's smile, the sparkle of joy and something more…intimate in her eyes. Honestly, for a split second, he found himself jealous of that crow, seeing Y/N holding it so lovingly. He wanted, no, needed to show her how much he loves her. If not tonight, it'll drive him insane.

After looking a bit, me and Mammon found a perfect spot to watch the fireworks. We sat on a hill that was a bit further away from the festival and luckily, we could still hear the music playing from one of the speakers nearby. We sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the fireworks to begin. Which based on the amount of time it took to find this isolated spot, it should start at any moment.

Mammon is resting his arms on his knees as I sit with my legs crossed, the plush crow close to my chest. I watch all the demons in the distance hurrying to find a spot to watch the show as well. Thankfully, none of them seem to look in this direction. So right now, it's just us, alone.

After a few moments, Mammon looks over at me and shyly starts to speak, "H-hey, Y/N?"

I look back at Mammon, noticing his face slowly forming a blush, "Yes?"

"I…I wanted to tell ya-" Mammon gets cut off by the first firework going off.

We slightly jump, but my eyes widen as the firework show starts, "It's starting!"

I watch as the firework starts to make the usual dark Devildom sky shine bright with many different colors. All the while, a familiar song starts to play on the speakers, making this a moment that I want to treasure always. It was a song from the human realm and it was a song that made this moment feel more intimate. I honestly couldn't ask for a better day, I got to go to the festival with all my favorite people and I even had, dare I say it, a wonderful date with Mammon. The thought of going on a date with Mammon makes my cheeks burn but I truly wish that this day would never end.

Mammon's heart starts to pound in his chest, his gaze never leaving Y/N. He watches as her eyes glow with wonder, watching the fireworks as if it were the first time. She never looked more beautiful, more perfect than right now. If he was ever gonna make his move, it had to be now. Mammon opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find it in himself to break her trance. However, his greed for her attention, her voice, her touch, for nothing but her, was growing. So, he closes his mouth and takes a deep breath. He leans closer to her as his shaky hand gently touches her cheek to turn her face towards him.

When I suddenly feel a light touch on my face, I snap back to reality. Before I can react, I feel my face being turned and suddenly, Mammon leans in, his eyes close and gently presses his lips on mine, like he's afraid that I'll break. My eyes widen, taking a moment to realize what is happening. Mammon, feeling me not move, starts to move away, most likely worried he did something wrong. But, not wanting to lose the moment, I quickly filled in the space he left, pressing my lips a bit harder than he did. Mammon tenses at my sudden movement but quickly melts into the kiss, holding my face with his hands. I place the plush to the side, momentarily forgotten, I place my hands on his chest for support.

The air stills, the world around us starts to disappear. The only thing to keep us from forgetting the world completely is the sound of fireworks and the song playing so sweetly.

I snake my arms around Mammon's neck, then he takes the chance to pull me in closer by my waist, closing the gap between us. Even though he was nervous at first, he seems to have relaxed, even nips at my bottom lip, causing me to gasp. He swiftly slips his tongue in my mouth, tangling it with mine, deepening the kiss. We held each other close, like we were afraid that the other would vanish.

Needing to breathe, we lean away slightly. I'm not sure when it happened, but I managed to end up on Mammon's lap. Mammon seems to also realize the position we're in and his breath hitches.

His hand comes up and holds my face, "I love ya, Y/N."

My heart flutters and I lean into his touch, "I love you too, Mammon. I…I always have."

"Y/N, I care about ya so much and I…I don't want anyone else trying to steal my most precious treasure from me. The thought of it kills me, because I'm yer first man." Mammon stops, becoming more shy, "I w-want ya to be mine and…I'll be yers…if ya want me."

I feel as though all of the butterflies in my stomach would explode out of me. I can't stop the big smile that appears on my face, "Mammon," I hold his face in my hands, "no one could ever take me away. And not only that but…" I bite my lip, feeling a bit bashful, "You already have me. Now and forever."

If Mammon could, his eyes would have hearts in them. He looked at me with such lovestruck eyes, his face is probably the most peaceful expression I've ever seen. I look back at him in awe, honestly have never seen him so happy, like he's on cloud nine.

A smile is plastered on his face, "I promise that I will be with ya till the end of time. I gotta be the luckiest demon in the whole festival, no, the Devildom. But, I guess I did win something at the festival after all." His smile suddenly turns into a smirk, "What do ya say we go somewhere more private and we can continue…this?"

My face turns red, but I nod. We stand up, I grab my plushie so that we can leave when I suddenly hear someone, or rather, some people, running this way.

"MAMMON!"

We spin around, both of us knowing too well who that voice belongs to. Lucifer and the rest of the brothers are running at full sprint in our direction.

"Oh shit!" Mammon yells out, quickly sweeping me off my feet, making a run for it.

Startled, I grabbed on to Mammon's jacket, making sure to not drop my crow plush, "Ah! M-Mammon!“

He looks down at me, " Well, I might get strung up later, but I'm yer man now. I want ya all to myself and I don't know about ya, but I'm not ready for tonight to end." He flashes his signature smile.

I can't help but laugh, as we make yet another escape from the brothers. This is truly the best day I could have asked for.

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me mc #Spotify

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