#i have Feels about winter clexa okay

[dufrau]

(questions post)

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Me and @hellmo invented an AU where Nancy's hair is a portal to a Narnia like dimension where they worship her hand as a god because she keeps putting things like pencils etc in her hair and they land in Narnia and it all seems very magical to the creatures that live there. I think it turns out Karen had an affair with a faun or something and thats why Nancy is half Narnia? I think at some point Robin falls into Narnia through Nancy's hair somehow??? I will never write it because I don't fully understand it even though I invented a lot of it.

20. What’s a favorite title for a fic you’ve written?

Um. tits out for annie oakley. up until the morning of the day i posted this the doc was titled "The World On Its Side", like a very dreamy serious kind of title. But I was like... I think it needs to be lighter than that? But I couldn't think of a good title. And instead I thought of a terrible title and was just like... well now I have to call it that.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Usually songs. Sometimes I just roll the themes around in my brain and think about songs that fit. Sometimes nonsense titles like the one above. Sometimes phrases that just feel right. Somebody on here a couple days ago mentioned pulling a line from the actual fic and I was like 🤯 because I have literally never considered that but I might try it at some point.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

Okay so I dont have any ronance that I dont plan on posting at some point eventually? But can I interest you in some terrible unfinished never posted clexa written in an absolutely batshit style that reading back has me like ??? Im just gonna post the whole thing under a cut its like 1200 words feel free to not read it lol but this is apparently how my mind was working circa january 2016

The fact was that it was a big world indeed. A person could get lost in it for as long as she might like room and time to think, and a person did just that.

The more pressing facts, multiple, were as such: that a person had killed, and killed again, and killed, again, and at the end, had killed some more, and had saved some. The math of the thing was almost rudimentary, but the broader truth, clearly or not, a thing to worry on.

And a person did worry, but she did so entirely within the boundaries of her sanity, and her regrets were measurable to everybody but her. 

Losses and gains. Arithmetic.

But more than that, a problem perhaps beyond math, or, more likely, just beyond the math needed knowing for children meant to sweep the same dust their own grandparents had sneezed in, was the matter of things, which was at present: We are here. How do we stay?

Clarke Griffin knew the laws. Physics and morality. But she fell and she fell, and a person does have a limit.

So she left and she walked and she walked until she stopped, in a place that was nowhere. It was not the scene of a great battle (a great victory, however fleeting). It was not the scene of a great loss (betrayal, truly, but again, a victory in kind). 

No.

But she stopped. By water, by land. She stopped, and she took what she would. And she was never hidden, as she knew she would never again be hidden on this Earth. And she never hid, as it was no longer, if it had truly ever been, in her nature. She stayed until she went, and if she feared anything, the scouts didn’t say so.

And Lexa heard it all, as a Commander must, in clumsy words, but true enough to tell the bones of it, which were: Clarke of the Sky People yet lives, her people live also, and though the winter threatens, that is all that weighs upon them now. The mountain is fallen.

The winter was a concern, always, but at present it was perhaps the lightest of weights upon Lexa's shoulders. 

Always, this weighed: To be invincible was a trying thing. To be thought invincible, perhaps, was better or worse. Her people were, as a rule, practical in their admirations, but some thought her nevertheless the stuff of stardust. If none had bested her, and if she was impressive in the ways some might see fit to measure, then she was also lucky, and, often, she was right. The fact, singular, was that she won. Always, she did that. 

A Commander, if she were in the habit of telling anybody anything, might tell them this: She was not at all invincible. Her armor was earned, and it was only ever as true as her reflexes made it. She held no claim to Godhood. She was young and slippery and wiser than many, but she was a girl and she was nothing more. A fool might mark it otherwise, and foolishness might have its uses, but she did not pretend. 

If she was a legend, she didn't believe in it. 

But if a Commander was truly just a girl, she was certainly a mindful girl. The weight of her burdens was familiar, and she carried it carefully, and everything had a place. Her lands, her laws, and, the root of all things, her people. She carried it all, and she was comforted by it. 

She was grounded, until she was not. 

Lexa had carried all people, always. But now, in the wake of a great victory (not hers, surely, but her people's, if only by default), she found her equilibrium all wrong, because she did not carry A Person, and in fact she never had. 

And so it was that a Commander sent a message, through a messenger to another messenger, and to another after that, to a place that was nowhere, to a person who knew she'd be found, who was only ever pretending at being lost. And the words, by design, were clumsy, but true enough to show the bones of it, which were: The Commander rides for Camp Jaha, and a person would do well to be there when she arrives. 

Camp Jaha, probably, had been nowhere very recently. Both the this and the that of it. An open plain, a speck in the darkness. Now, though, it was aggressively somewhere. The this had become the same as the that, all at once, and the visual of the thing was appropriately sudden.

Clarke had known the that, if only from the inside out. It was the this, to her, that was new, but, on approach, it was now the that that was the thing. 

Metal, gleaming and bent. Earth, torn and burnt. 

There was a place, everywhere and nowhere, where everything felt like guilt. Where a person looked, at everything and nothing, and wondered what they might have done. In this place, right now, Clarke Griffin knew a new thing, which was: This had been a war even before she knew what war was. 

Mind, even from a distance (close enough. too close), it was clear: Her people survived. Fully, and actively, they were surviving. But, the that, the Ark, life itself for all of all time, sunken, stabbed, buried (a sword, a spear, a bullet most like), in the this, the Earth, life actually, since before even all time, and it was, frankly, a little on the nose.

A person might laugh, but this person, this time, she walked.

Now, another fact, always true, but for Clarke Griffin, newly known: A civilization, which is to say, people, going about the basic business of living, was a noisy, close thing. Moving, and building, and being, and speaking and speaking and speaking. And now, asking, and hugging, and crying, and looking and looking and looking.

Bellamy was the first to see her, or at least the first to see her, and he shouted and he waved, and he ran in and he ran out. And when he met her, he stopped, and he would have asked, but her mother was next, and she did not stop. And she did ask. And Clarke answered, and she noticed, as she grew again accustomed to the voice that had gotten her exactly everywhere, that Octavia came only as far as the gates, and Lincoln  stayed beside her. Raven was last, but she did come, if only just as Clarke ran out of words to say. To her credit, there were, in fact, not many words at all; Clarke had been gone, and now she was back, and, as ever, war was coming. 

Days followed, and nights as well, predictably, and once again the math of things demanded attention. Mouths needed meals, meals came from stores and from crops and from ever smaller projections of both. Conceptually, there was winter. Really, a person could only guess. 

An estimate, on a particular day, was that for every mouth, there were two eyes, and those eyes were pointing up. Snow. Water plus cold. A miracle plus a miracle. Even so, a person might find her eyes straying to the fields, counting what might yet be saved. A person might also catch her eyes straying to the gates, counting what might yet need saving from. 

[saturneves]

oh wow sweden is Cold and Stormy today

[trippymockingquake]

Okay HSMTMTS fans, shippers, etc.. I’m calling on all the WILDCATS!

You can like ship. You can like a character. You can hate a ship. You can hate a character. But STOP sending HATE and DEATH THREATS to the actors that play said characters. They are NOT the CHARACTER. I repeat THEY ARE NOT THE CHARACTER.

To all the PORTWELL and RINA and RINI shippers STOP going at each other’s throats. SOME of you yes SOME of you are boarder line cyber bullying others the last time I saw that was when CLEXA and BELLARKE were going at it. BELLARKE was canon in the books and CLEXA was canon in the show. If YOU, yes YOU do not like that your SHIP ended or your character left the show guess what you can do. You can write fanfiction. I do it on another blog. But also ao3, fanfiction.net, here on tumblr, or you can create your own free website for it.

I didn’t really ship anyone in the show I enjoy seblos and redlyn (not sure how it’s spelled) but portwell grew on me in season 2 in season 1 it was rina but after half the season I didn’t care anymore. I HATE Ricky with a burning passion and not because of Joshua Bassett or anything but because Ricky reminds me of myself and I do have to say it was sort of annoying that he went after someone who was in a relationship (nini). But I don’t hate Joshua. I do however have a hatred for Olivia Rodrigo and to answer why, I literally don’t know I just do, so by default I ended up disliking nini but even she grew on me. Nini not Olivia. But I’m not sending her hate mail or death threats the same with Josh. I’m literally just now getting more into other projects Sofia is in and Matt and while I too hated EJ at first for all the bad things he did I didn’t send hate or death threats to Matt. When Gina confessed her attraction to Ricky during season 2 when we got the flashback I hated that but again I didn’t send hate mail or death threats to her. When Maddox got on my nerves during this season I didn’t send horrible stuff to Saylor or Julia or Meg. I don’t know how Adrian (jet) is doing on that front or Dara for that matter. You all have got to STOP, just like YOU don’t want people messing with your mental health and sending you stuff like that YOU guys have to STOP messing with there’s and each other’s. When Falcon and the winter soldier came out the actor who plays John walker got so much hate mail and death threats because of the character he played and ultimately it started to effect him. So words do hurt and they are powerful so please be mindful. Each one of our HSMTMTS actors are young and they go through the same things some of us go through. I know this was a lot to read but PLEASE learn to separate characters and actors. And PLEASE STOP putting each other down and bullying each other. I’m not saying you can’t be mad or hurt but if you are that upset about your character leaving or a ship not going quite your way write fanfiction on wattpad, ao3, fanfiction.net, or anything because you probably aren’t alone and there are a lot of people I’m sure who would love to read it or also write but they don’t know how or how to go about it. If you have any questions on where to go with your fanfiction feel free to dm me. If you want to vent about something even if it’s about a different show or just because you want to talk to a stranger feel free to dm me. I struggle with depression on a daily so I know what it’s like to just need to vent. If you want to get what I think on characters or on why I hate some characters or try to get me to like Olivia feel free to dm me. If you’re a senior in high school and you’re concerned about your future please dm me I’ve been there and my whole job last year was to help high schoolers figure it out. I keep saying dm because I don’t know if I have my asks up to where you can do anonymous. Stay safe.

[anonfanfic]

If you want a prompt for small town AU, what about clexa getting out of town for a day and either taking a road trip or heading to a city close by? That way they can have some time to themselves

Clarke woke up to a beam of warm golden sun hitting her face. She closed her eyes tightly and stretched her stiff muscles. She breathed a deep sigh of relief out of her nose as her fuzzy mind remembered it was Saturday and she didn’t have to rush off to school. 

She rolled over and grabbed her phone from her nightstand, unplugging the charging cord and trying to get her bleary eyes to focus on the much too bright screen. 

Lexa’s name appeared in a text notification and Clarke sat up in bed, a rush of adrenaline coursing to each of her limbs as she unlocked her phone and read the waiting message.

‘I need to drive into the city to pick up a part for my truck. Can you come???’

Clarke felt an extra surge of energy pulse in the pit of her stomach as she thought about a full day away from everyone, but Lexa. She pulled back her blankets and nearly toppled out of her bed as she started getting ready for the day. She threw her pajamas somewhere near her hamper as she thought of what lies to tell her mom to let her go into the city for the day.

She finished dressing and looked at herself in the mirror. Clarke wanted to look cute, but not like she was trying too hard just for a trip into the city.

Clarke ran down the stairs two at a time and had to slow herself before she walked into the kitchen. She worked hard to keep her face neutral as she did a quick scan of the room, but only saw her dad sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee and looking over some sort of playbook. No doubt trying to plan some sort of offense for the big football game the coming Sunday.

“Where’s-uh-where’s mom?” Clarke tried to sound as casual as possible while she walked over and grabbed a glass from the cupboard next to the fridge. 

“She’s in appointments all day today. She mentioned us ordering pizza, so you know it’ll be a long day.” Jake Griffin didn’t really look up from the page he was taking in. So he missed the grin that pulled at Clarke’s lips hearing that her mother would be gone for the entire day. 

“Do you think you’d be okay on your own?” Clarke opened the fridge and grabbed the orange juice, turning around to see Jake was no longer looking at the papers in front of him. He only had eyes for his daughter.

“Why? What do you have planned?” Jake reached down without looking and grabbed his coffee cup to take a sip without breaking eye contact. 

“A couple friends were talking about going into the city. I was going to see if I could go with them.” Clarke poured the orange juice and gave a shrug of indifference as she finished speaking. She didn’t want her dad to know she was dying to go. She hoped he would think she didn’t mind either way. 

Clarke put the jug of juice back in the fridge and turned to see that her dad was once again looking down at his papers.

“Will you be back before curfew?” He asked, reaching over and taking a long sip of coffee.

Clarke almost choked on the mouthful of orange juice she had just taken in with her excitement to respond.

“Yeah-yes. I’ll be back way before curfew. I swear.” Clarke tried to cover her sputtering cough with her sleeve. 

“Fine, leave me by my lonesome.” Jake joked, waving his daughter off to go have fun.

Clarke downed the rest of her juice and laughed. “Yeah, like you won’t be locked in your study going over game tape for tomorrow.” Clarke felt like she was floating as she walked back toward the stairs to go tell Lexa she could go out.

“Hey!” Jake called, right as she got to the doorway. Clarke’s heart stopped and she turned to look at her dad who was looking at her with disappointment. “Who raised you?” He asked, pointing to the glass Clarke had left on the counter.

“Oh, sorry dad.” Clarke felt a rush of relief wash over her as she walked over to grab her glass and rinse it in the sink.

“Have fun, see you later tonight,” Jake smiled, as Clarke walked by and out of the kitchen.

Less than 20 minutes later and Clarke was driving down the main freeway out of their town and to the city. It was like Clarke could finally breathe once they left the town’s limits. 

Clarke felt pressure on her thigh and looked down to see Lexa’s hand resting there. She smiled, looking out the window at the long stretch of nothing that was between them and the city. It was the most peaceful she had felt in months. The town had become so suffocating and home was no different. There was no escape from the walls as they kept closing in on her.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Lexa asked, giving Clarke’s leg a squeeze.

“How damn good it feels to be out of that fucking town.” Clarke moved her hand on top of Lexa’s and laced their fingers together.

Lexa smiled and picked up their intertwined hands and brought them to her lips, placing a kiss on Clarke’s hand. 

“I’m glad you came.” 

Clarke moved over as far as her seatbelt would allow and rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder. She closed her eyes and listened to the soft sounds coming from the radio and Lexa’s rhythmic breathing just above her. If she could bottle this moment and live it whenever she wanted to, she’d do it in a second.

“You gonna fall asleep on me?” Lexa chuckled, moving her shoulder to make Clarke’s head bop a bit.

“No, no.” Clarke opened her eyes and smiled moving back to her seat and squeezing Lexa’s hand. “We just don’t get many moments like this. When we can feel…”

“Normal?” Lexa finished Clarke’s sentence. 

Clarke hadn’t really let it hit her until she heard Lexa say it. They weren’t allowed to be themselves in their town. They were always hiding and forced to be ashamed of loving each other. Clarke didn’t want to feel that way, it wasn’t fair to not feel comfortable in your home. 

“Yeah...it sucks.” Clarke’s mood shifted and she felt like she was being dragged down a mountain hitting trees and rocks all the way down.

“Hey, don’t let those fuckers get in your head today.” Lexa reached over and grabbed Clarke’s thigh again. “They don’t get to have today, it’s ours.” 

Clarke gave her head a shake and tried to push those thoughts out of her head. Lexa was right, they didn’t get to ruin their day. 

“I’m back. Let’s have a good day.” Clarke looked over and smiled at her girlfriend.

They drove for a little while in peaceful silence. Clarke played with the fingers on Lexa’s free hand as the city came into view on the horizon.

Lexa parked the car on a side street just off the main drag of the city.

“I need coffee before we do anything else.” Lexa hopped out of the car and reached for Clarke’s hand. She instinctively pulled back, looking around to see that no one around them was even paying attention. 

“Sorry,” Clarke looked back to Lexa who still had her hand outstretched. “Force of habit.” 

Clarke reached out and took Lexa’s hand, feeling her heart flutter as they started toward the coffee shop. It was a freeing feeling to walk down the street, their hands intertwined swinging between them and no one giving them a second look. They could be invisible here, just blend in with the crowd. 

They grabbed coffee and sipped it as they walked around on the beautiful, sunny Saturday.

Lexa found a park a few blocks away from the coffee shop and they decided to spend some time together out in the warm sun. It was just on the verge of fall so the air had just a little bite to it. Clarke loved this type of weather.

Clarke leaned over and pressed a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “Can we just stay here?” 

Lexa reached over and put her arm around Clarke’s waist, moving her closer as they sat on the grass. 

“You mean live here...in this park?” Lexa laughed. “I mean it may not be great once winter hits, but if you’re here then I’m here.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s lips, lingering for a long moment before pulling away.

“Listen, I’ve wanted to ask you something for a while now. I’m just not sure how you’ll feel about it.” Lexa adjusted her position so she was looking directly at Clarke.

For some reason, Clarke felt her heartbeat start to pick up. She had no idea what Lexa was about to ask her, but her brain was thinking of all the worst case scenarios.

“O-Okay.” Clarke’s voice caught in her throat. Her mouth was suddenly painfully dry.

“I know it’s a long way off,” Lexa started, reaching down and starting to pull out blades of grass. “But with it being so close to the end of the school year....and we were already both accepted to college...I was thinking maybe we could go to prom together.” 

Clarke’s jaw went slack as Lexa finished speaking. She hadn’t even thought about prom. There was still nearly a full school year to get through before prom. 

Clarke let herself imagine getting to go to prom with Lexa. Picking out their outfits, taking pictures out by the lake, dancing together in the gym with stupid decorations hanging around them. It would be amazing, but not possible. It would be too easy for people to talk and if word got back to her parents, they’d find a way to keep her out of college. They’d find a way to lock her in her room and away from Lexa forever. 

“I don’t know…” Clarke pursed her lips together, trying to push the happy images from her mind. Her only goal was getting out of their town so she could finally be with Lexa and her parents wouldn’t be able to stop her. 

“Nevermind..” Lexa cleared her throat and tossed the clump of grass she had pulled out next to her. “It was a stupid idea, forget I mentioned it.”

Clarke saw a few red splotches appear on Lexa’s cheeks. It had been hard for Lexa to ask her about prom. She knew the risks just like Clarke did. Maybe it wouldn’t matter once it was time for prom. 

“No, no. Don’t say that. It’s not stupid.” Clarke took both of Lexa’s hands and waited until her girlfriend looked up and locked eyes with her. “I want to go to prom with you. I just don’t want to risk our future for one night. You know what my mom is capable of and I don’t want her fucking this up for us.” 

Lexa relaxed a little as Clarke spoke. She wasn’t shooting down Lexa’s idea, she just wanted to be safe about what they did while they were still in town.

“Let’s say if we think it seems like a good idea at the time we do it. If not, we have our own afterparty on prom night.” Clarke wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

Lexa laughed and Clarke watched the rest of her hesitation melt away. 

“Deal.” Lexa reached over and kissed Clarke. “But I’m getting you flowers either way.” 

Clarke smiled against Lexa’s lips. “Deal.”

[disdaidal]

For the Shipper Questions: 2, 4, 20 and 25

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

1) Uruha/Aoi (the GazettE) - Somewhere between 2017-2010, I used to read and write jrock rps on LJ - and I actually did that for quite a few jrock bands then. Aoiha however became my biggest OTP and an obsession, so I wrote it for quite a bit (well, I shipped Aoi with others too, but yeah.) I also made some really good online friends around that time. In fact I met my now ex-gf while we were both writing Aoiha fiction and we started roleplaying them together as well. Then last year I actually traveled to another country to finally meet another friend of mine whom I also became friends with during this jrock era.

So an important ship? Hell yes. I’d also like to mention Die/Shinya (Dir en grey) as well because I think that was literally the first non-oc ship that I ever wrote for.

2) KieferLou - Ah yes, these two gentlemen. After seeing them together in “Young Guns” & “Young Guns II”, as well as “Renegades” (after learning they’d acted together there too), I really couldn’t help myself. I remember how obsessed with them I was and how I was so desperate to find so many movies with them as I possibly could. And ended up watching some pretty horrid shit, too (yes, Lou, I’m looking at you). I also remember finding an old Yahoo! group for their ship and a fanzine, and I felt blessed when the admin of that group still responded to me! Sadly though, I could never get my hands on this particular zine but I was still thankful that I even got a response to begin with.

I did write a couple of pieces of fanfiction for them back in the day as well. One was a series of drabbles which I actually posted to my LJ and another was some smutty piece that I never got to finish (who knows, maybe some day I will :)).

I also have a tag in my blog called the “gayest action movie ever”, which is specifically reserved for Renegades. >XD

3) Harringrove - While I have only been into this ship/fandom for a few months now, it has already made such a huge impact on me. I’ve been more active in this fandom than I’ve been on in any fandom for years now, have already talked to quite a few people here on Tumblr and on a Discord group as well. I even started writing a couple of fics for this ship (I still have that one pending prompt too, I intend to finish it very much, thank you). And I’ve been actively rp:ing this ship since October and we’re still very much excited for it.

This ship/fandom has really helped me cope through this tough autumn and winter, especially after my nearly whole last year was filled with depression and and fatigue. And no, corona wasn’t helping with that at all. So I’m really glad to be part of this fandom now. :=))

4. What’s your current NOTP? I’m not sure if I currently have any NOTPs really, I usually try to avoid unpleasant ships with my best ability.

But if I had to choose some -  and absolutely no ship bashing here, you do you <3 -, I’m not a huge fan of Billy/Nancy. I just don’t see any real chemistry between Billy and Nance, I’m sorry.

And in The 100... okay, so the main reason why I even started watching the show is that there was so much hype around Clexa (Clarke/Lexa) at the time. And well umm... I may be the villain for saying this but I actually didn’t like their relationship. I understand why people ship them (it’s a lesbian canon after all) but there was just too much... nope for me in their relationship.

I also don’t care much for Becho (Bellamy/Echo) or Memori (Murphy/Emori) either. I don’t hate them but I don’t care about them either.

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. As you know, my dear friend, I feel so lonely in shipping Morgan/Erkki. Who doesn’t love a good Norwegian crime story, in which a bank robber kidnaps a schizophrenic patient and then takes them into the cabin in the woods so that the two of them could spend some romantic time together? I mean, what’s not to love there?

There were also a couple of ships back in my jrock era that I felt very much alone in shipping. I wrote and published a couple of fanfictions for them too, but yeah.

25. Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Like I said I pretty much started to watch The 100 for Clexa, though I ended up not shipping them after all. I’ve also seen a lot of gifs of the movie The Old Guard and so far I’ve liked what I’ve seen (gotta watch that movie sometime). And I do have a memory of shipping Carlos/Jill even before I even watched any lets plays for Resident Evil 3 Remake. So naturally, I bought the game even though it was expensive and have already played it through 3 times.

But yeah, umm... Usually I only get invested in ships after watching something for some time. I’m not that easily influenced into things in general cause it takes me time to warm up to them (and this applies to most things in my life, so xD).

40 questions - Meme for Shippers

[tsthrace]

Can’t Stop Loving You

The Songs Sent, Ficlets Written series continues.

Awhile back, I asked y’all to send me a song so I could take its energy, lyrics, and/or feeling and write you a(n at least) 1,000-word Clexa fic. This one-shot is based on Can’t Stop Loving You by Taylor swift (covering Phil Collins), as requested by my dear fic friend Cecilia.

Clarke has taken a prestigious job on the other side of the world. Lexa doesn't want her to go.

Or, the anatomy of a long goodbye.

All angst.

image by marandasays

“To Clarke’s big adventure!”

“To Clarke saving the world just like we always knew she would!”

Clarke smiles and lifts her glass. “Prost!”

Mittened hands mute the gathering’s clanking of glasses. The six of them tip their heads back to drink.

Clarke had insisted on a roof party. Despite the December fog rolling in, erasing the usually breathtaking view over the Bay. Despite the wet cold seeping in through the seams, making everyone shiver. Even the white lights strung up over their heads seem too cold to shine.

“So where are you going again?” Cecilia asks. She is Lexa’s ex from years ago, but in the grand old tradition of queer women, everyone is friendly and mostly authentically so. Now Cecilia is with Kai whose arm is wrapped around her shoulders.

“Indonesia,” Clarke says. She looks towards the cooler on the edge of their gathering. “Is there more beer?”

“I know you’re going to Indonesia, Clarke, but it’s a giant place.” Cecilia looks up at Kai. “Will you please get Clarke another beer, my love?”

Clarke flashes a smile at Kai and nods at them as they make their way to the cooler. “It’s this island called Halmahera. It’s five or six hours from Jakarta by plane.”

Cecilia turns her head towards Lexa. “And how are you with all of this?”

Lexa jerks her head as if shaken out of sleep. “I mean, it’s an amazing opportunity.” She straightens her back. “They only accepted three researchers, so…” She trails off and lets herself be distracted by Kai coming back with Clarke’s beer.

“Is it developed? Like, is there running water?” Kai asks as they hand Clarke the bottle.

One corner of Clarke’s lips ticks up in a smile. “Yeah, of course. It’s a full lab. Probably even more advanced than the ones at Cal.” Clarke has her own general practice in Berkeley, but she stayed on at Cal researching rare diseases, particularly Mucopolysaccharidosis type II, or MPS. The disease occurs in one out of every 100,000 people, so when a full third of the children in a remote village in Halmahera were found with the disease, researchers took notice.

“But what about where you’ll live?” Kai’s face is open with curiosity. They’re bundled in a wool hat and winter coat and seem unaffected by the wet chill in the air.

“I mean, it’ll be pretty, uh, monastic.” Clarke shrugs. “But I’ll have what I need.”

“What about internet?” Monty asks. He’s a friend of Clarke’s from Cal and has done his fair share of research in remote places.

“Yeah, that’s the hard part,” Clarke says. She can feel the tension emanating from Lexa who is standing beside her. “It’s pretty remote, so it’s all by satellite and pretty restricted. The lab connects to Boston once a day to exchange data, but we’re not supposed to use it for personal stuff.” Clarke swallows and refuses to even turn her head in Lexa’s direction. “There’s a village about a two-hour drive away where there’s some connection. A van will take us on the weekends.”

Cecilia wraps her arms around Kai and pulls them in. “I don’t think I could do it.” She kisses their cheek. “I’d lose my mind if you were out in some remote jungle and could only talk to me once a week.”

“It’s more rainforest than jungle.” Clarke pounces on her chance to change the subject.

“Aren’t they the same thing?” Kai asks.

“Is she always this inquisitive?” Harper, Monty’s wife, asks Cecilia, smiling playfully and nodding at Kai.

“They.” Lexa’s voice is sharp and too loud.

“What?” Harper’s head spins around to look at Lexa.

“Kai goes by ‘they.’” Lexa’s voice is softer this time. She looks down.

“Oh, right.” Harper scrunches her face in Kai’s direction. “Sorry.”

“No big deal,” Kai smiles and shrugs. “It takes some getting used to.” They turned to Lexa. “But thank you.” Their voice is sincere.

“Monty, didn’t you work in some jungle in South America for awhile?” Cecilia’s voice is full of cheer, but her eyes throw a sideways glance at Lexa.

“It was a rainforest, really.”

A light chuckle fills the foggy air. Lexa forces a smile onto her lips, but her eyes are icy.

Clarke waits until the conversation moves on to look at Lexa with wide eyes. What is going on with you? Lexa looks away and plants her icy eyes on Kai who is joyfully grilling Monty about his time in Brazil.

An hour later, Harper is bouncing from foot to foot in a little jig. “I can’t feel my feet, y’all.” She looks at Clarke. “I’m sorry, but I need to get home under my warm blankets.”

Clarke smiles and hugs Harper first, then Monty. “Thanks for coming.”

“I can’t believe you leave tomorrow.” Monty’s eyes reflect joy and worry. “Be safe, Dr. Griffin.”

“You know me,” Clarke replies lightly then looks down. Her voice gets quiet. “I’ll take care of myself.”

Lexa is standing off the group a few feet, so Monty and Harper throw an awkward wave in her direction as they walk to the door. Cecilia has no time for Lexa’s coolness. After she and Kai hug Clarke, showering her with both worries and well-wishes, she takes the extra steps towards Lexa and wraps her arms around her like a mother comforting a child.

“I know what’s going on,” she whispers. “It’s okay to be upset.”

Lexa feels angry at the tears that prick at the corner of her eyes. She won’t let Cecilia see them, and she certainly won’t let Clarke see them.

“Thanks,” she says briskly then pulls away.

Read the rest on ao3.

[griffinxwoods]

stuck 

clarke and lexa are snowed in at raven and anya’s holiday/housewarming party

i wanted to finish this for clexa week but, life happens, and i wasn’t able to so here’s a snippet, the beginning really, and if you guys like it, i’ll wrap it up soon and post it to ao3. but i figured something is better than nothing, even if i think it’s pretty rough so, here you go. also, a rough attempt at a moodboard. nevertheless, enjoy! 

_____________________________________________________________________

It’s almost over. Technically she’s halfway to the finish line. But it’s almost over.

Finals week is upon them.

Clarke has a few sketches to finish for her portfolio, her finals project only has a few tweaks to be done, and then she can finally relax for winter break. She can worry about her last official university semester once the new year rolls around.

Tonight, though, Raven wanted to have a group study session at Clarke and Lexa’s apartment. it’s a nice change from the stuffy Arkadia library, at least Clarke can sketch on her couch instead of those hard, wooden chairs, oddly always warm.

The crew’s scattered around her apartment, Octavia and Lincoln are sitting at the kitchen island, going through flashcards for Lincoln’s psych exam. Bellamy has taken to the recliner, flipping through the pages of his latest history read. He graduated years ago yet, he still hangs around. Nerd. Jasper and Maya are sat at one end of the dining table, there’s less studying and more of Jasper goofing around, but poor Maya has a highlighter in her mouth and about 3 other different colored highlighters in each hand, going through her bio notes. Pre-med is rough and Clarke feels for her. Monty is next to them, fiddling with a broken car radio he’s trying to fix for Miller. Raven and Anya are at the opposite end, Raven seemed to have wrapped up her studies early and somehow dug out Clarke’s old toaster and opened it up, rewiring it. Anya’s just eating some nuggets.

Clarke’s stomach grumbles. Hmm, not a bad idea. She moves to get up from the coach when Lexa appears, plate of nuggets in hand.

Clarke beams up at her, “how’d you know?”

Lexa shrugs, “You’ve been sketching for a while, figured you’d want some fuel.” She flops down next to Clarke and pulls up the Twitter app on her phone.

Clarke pulls her in for a kiss, slow and tender. She caresses Lexa’s face and Lexa pulls back, rubs her nose against Clarke’s, moving her head to the other side. It’s sweet and slow, perfect.

Clarke leans back and looks at Lexa through her eyelashes, “Thanks, baby.”

Lexa’s lips curl up a bit on one side, that sweet smile reserved only for Clarke. She reaches for Clarke’s hand and rubs her thumb over Clarke’s.

BANG.

“Attention, everyone!” Raven yells. “Hear ye, hear ye, I have an announcement before we wrap up this lovely hellish study session.”

Everyone jumped in their places at the crash, but they gather closer nonetheless. Raven smashed Clarke’s old toaster on the ground. Sigh, typical. Dramatic, as usual.

“Anya and I are throwing a housewarming party,” Raven beams.

“Does that mean we have to buy you gifts for being an adult,” Lexa scrunches her face, she grabs a nugget and pops it into her mouth.

Raven tilts her head to the side and feigns a smile, “Yes. Why ever the fuck else would I be hosting a party when you and Clarke have a perfectly furnished apartment.” she waves her hand in the general direction of everything they have, then points at the kitchen, “a fucking Nespresso machine, Clarke. You guys are boujee and I want in on it.”

“Raven,” Clarke sighs.

“Help me, I’m poor,” Raven pouts and bats her eyelashes.

Lexa stifles a laugh, “Might as well make a, like, baby registry for your apartment, ya know”. She pauses and looks at Clarke, “Is that a thing? Did we do that?”

She pats Lexa’s arm and sighs, “Yeah babe, it’s a thing. Technically.”

“Lexa, you beautiful dumbass, te quiero tanto” she practically launches herself across the table to grab Lexa’s face and plant a quick rough kiss on her lips. “I’m gonna sign up for that and send you all the link. I want a blender. And a microwave. And those smart light bulbs. God, they’re so fucking expensive, I don’t understand why. Gonna need Ms. Amazon Alexa too so I can connect that. I wanna speak to her. Our own smart house, how zesty of us. Oh! A fridge, need that too but the one you tweet on! That’s so boujee, I love it- ”

Lexa’s stunned, really didn’t expect that one. Clarke plopped back against her seat and lets out an exhausted breath. She’s used to Raven’s antics, of course, but tonight she just wants to finish her sketch and cuddle with Lexa. They’ve been here for hours, she’s tired and she has an early class in the morning. She picks up a pencil and continues to work, letting the conversation idle into background noise.

Her peace only lasts a few seconds.

Jasper mischievously snatches a sheet of paper and crumples it up, throws the ball at Lexa, and laughs, “She won’t shut up and it’s your fault, Woods.”

Lexa snatches a fat eraser out of Clarke’s hand and launches it at Jasper’s face, pure reflex.

Clarke gives up, her efforts futile, she snaps her sketchbook closed and groans.

“Fuck! Ow, what the fuck, Lex?”

“If you so much as look at me wrong, I will Spartan kick you off my balcony, you failed abortion. Capice?”

Clarke snaps her head towards Lexa, trying and failing to controller her laughter, and smacks Lexa lightly on the arm, “Lexa, no.”

“What? He’s annoying.”

“He’s our friend, remember. Be nice.”

“I’ve never claimed him. He’s your friend.”

“Everything that’s mine is yours, sweetheart,” Clarke singsongs and boops her on the nose.

Lexa tries to bite Clarke’s finger and falls short, her eyes narrow on her girlfriend, “Pick your battles, Griffin”

“HELLOOOO!” Raven bangs on the table abruptly. Everyone stops. “We were talking about me.”

Anya’s exasperated at this point. She only decided to come over for the free food and now she has to deal with this? She checks her watch, wondering when would be a good time to drag Raven out of her before she rips someone’s head off for suggesting teal accents when her apartment theme is planned to be black and gold. Seems trivial to Anya but, she knows Raven well enough by now.

Lexa blinks, “Oh? I-”

“Can you not? Thanks. Anyway, back to me now.”

Lexa throws her hands up, defeated, “Why am I in trouble when that sorry excuse for a man physically attacked me. In my own home! I’m a victim.” Lexa narrows at him, “the white man wins again.”

“Hey!” Jasper protests.”I was just-”

Raven lowers her voice and glares at Jasper, he gulps. “I will tie you to a chair and set your three mustache hairs on fire one by one. I know how long you’ve tried to grow that out, you’ve gotten attached to them, little man. Do not test me.”

Octavia grins, “This is getting good. Shall I make popcorn?”

Jasper slouches back into himself. Maya gives him a soft kiss on his cheek and a soft smile, and Monty puts him in a headlock and tousles his hair playfully, “You’ll be fine, buddy.”

Anya pinches the bridge of her nose, her eyes closed. She checks her watch again, looks around the room. Good enough. She raises herself out of her seat and steps towards Raven, an arm snaking around Raven’s neck.

“Alright Reyes, that’s enough. We get it, we’re poor, we need house stuff, and you’re becoming a dictator.”

“The Castros are shaking right now,” Lexa smirks.

Raven snorts, “Ha, noice.” They high five and Clarke and Anya share a look, both rolling their eyes.

“Okaaaay” Anya drawls, she detaches from Raven and grabs her hand as they make their way to the door, “So we’re gonna go. This was nice until crackhead Martha Stewart here took over.”

Raven pauses, a little insulted but nonetheless, she continues, “I want the fridge that can tweet, Anya.”

“I know baby,” Anya sighs, dragging Raven along.

“It’s essential. It’s the future. Technology, it revolves around us, you know.”

“I really don’t even know what you’re saying anymore.”

Lexa waves from her seat, grinning, and turns to Clarke, “We’re not getting the fridge.”

Clarke hums absentmindedly, “Absolutely not.” She really doesn’t care anymore, though. She just wants to go to bed with Lexa. She rubs her hands down her face, crosses her arms and yawns.

Lexa watches her, noticing the drooping eyelids, sketchbook closed in front of her. She stands and clasps her hands together.

“Okay putas, time to go. Pick up your shit and get outta here, it’s beddy-bye. Clarke looks like she’s going to knock out on this couch and I’d rather not carry her to bed so, let’s move on out.” She ushers everyone up and out, herds them towards the door like a shepherd gathering stray sheep into a barn. Or out, rather.

They all protest on their way out, but appreciate the eviction considering how late it’s gotten and no one noticed.

“Thanks for the food, Lex. I’ll see you on the field tomorrow, right?” Lincoln hugs her and gives her a sharp look. She’s on her vacation and he knows how quickly she can fall into a lazy spiral if she lets herself.

Lexa grunts, “But it’s supposed to snow.”

Lincoln gives her a sharp look and she concedes, nodding in agreement.

They all file out, waving goodbye, and piling into their cars. Lexa closes the door, locks it and leans against it, letting out a sigh of relief.

“It’s quiet,” Lexa breathes.

“Lex. Bed,” Clarke whispers. She’s waiting in the bedroom doorway, hand reaching out towards Lexa. She strides over and slips her hand into Clarke’s, placing a tender kiss to her lips. Clarke hums and her lips curl into a smile on one side, similar to one of Lexa’s.

They fall into bed, a tangle of limbs, soft kisses on smooth skin, breaths evening out.

Clarke curls deeper into Lexa’s warmth and not a minute later, drifts off.

[adistantstarblog]

HAPPY NEW YEAR, DEB, AND HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO OUR FRIENDSHIP ❤️

(Right back at you @cynic-and-a-saint can you believe its really been a year??)

ONE YEAR WITH BETHIE:

My life around here runs a regular loop, it's always pretty busy, and it's often full of unexpected events and surprises. It’s in a constant state of up and down. There is also usually always something to worry about. 

Nine times out of ten, I am a nervous ball of anxiety that is always thinking the worst giving the excuse that ‘...well, if I expect the worst at least I am ready for anything.’ I’ve been alone for the past 15 years of my life after my fiance walked out on me. During all that time though I discovered I am Bi, as it turns out. And also, I like being invisible. I like to hide. Most if not all of my friends live in other states, if not other countries. And truth be told when all totaled up, there are only a few. I can count them on my fingers with room left over. And, I am the first to admit and will tell you straight up...I am difficult to be a friend of. 

January 1, 2019 was a day like all the rest, busy, and since it was winter, miserably cold. It was New Years, and like all New Years I didn’t set a resolution as I’ve always believed that you should be willing to make big goals for your life every day of the year. But I was still down that day. In hopes of getting funds to help get out of a difficult situation I found myself in financially (as an epileptic, conventional work isn’t always ideal) I’d started my Patreon. But it had stayed at or around 20 or so dollars no matter what I tried.

Anyway, as I sat down in my chair that evening and opened my Patreon to manage it my eyes popped open wide. I can’t remember the exact figure now, but i had suddenly jumped from about 20 dollars to something like 55 bucks a month. I was speechless. I didn’t know what happened or where it had come from. My highest tier at the time was like, 20 dollars and even with the 20 I was already earning...it didn’t add up to 55 dollars. 

So I thought it was a trick, and I yelled down the hall for my sister to come see what I was looking at. She wasn’t sure what was going on either but she told me to just roll with it. 

And that was when I saw the message:

..after reading it I was like...is this for real?? But it had to be. Quickly to reassure this person on the other end of the message I typed out as fast as I could something along the lines of ‘it’s okay’ and ‘everyone gets a chance’ and ‘I never would have thought you would just sign up to read everything and take off before paying’ (I had yet to experience Dine and Dash at that point, so this didn’t make sense to me that someone would even do this) and I think I wrote something about ‘how I was so excited’ and hit send. 

And I was so excited. Someone out there thought my writing was worth 30 bucks! Someone had noticed me. All these things were going through my head as i sat there, staring at the screen, wanting to hear from this person again and hoping they wouldn’t just decide they didn’t like my stuff, or that they would leave. I was deciding I had to do my best to impress them when I knew for a fact that on Patreon, much like the rest of my life, I just didn’t know what the hell I was doing.  I mean, in 2017 I was basically dropped on Patreon’s doorstep by a friend of mine that knocked on the door for me and left. 

But then, over the top of all these thoughts another flew into my head suddenly - crap! I just went over 50$ a month! I have to worry about taxes now….

...before putting much thought into it, I sent a message to the person that I appreciated their pledge and it means so much! And it did! But I have to worry about taxes now because of it. Did they have any idea what I needed to do?

Guys...this was how I met Bethie, and to be fair, if someone I just met jumped on me about taxes like that...I probably would have took off running because yeah..that’s just weird. But she rolled with it. Which is what I’ve learned that she does.  And also to be fair, the question about taxes just seemed so natural...like I could ask anything like that..right at the very start.

Which is probably the epitome of our relationship. Right off the bat, anything and everything became a conversation and there is no filter. From daily lives to dating and love lives, to diarrhea to body waxes and all the funny details that involves, the filter is a big fat zero. And I love it. Every story. Every laugh. 

And it all happened so fast as though we were trying to collectively cram the first decades of our lives into one year. I’ve learned things about me in the course of it, I’ve had my beliefs challenged. Some came out unscathed and in place, and some others didn’t. Which isn’t always a bad thing. Because one thing about Bethie is I am frequently find myself saying ‘you know, I hadn’t thought of that.’ I know what she likes, what she doesn’t and all the little habits that comes with with it. I know about Christmas being six months earlier. I know about comment culture. She isn’t a sit-and-wallow type. Don’t go there and expect that. She’s a doer, a thinker, and a fixer. If you ask her one question she’s likely to come back at you with about 30 of them; the why, the who, the how, the how long, the where, what color, how many, how big …and I love each and every one. Paragraphs of context put in words thought about and written and re-written a few times before the email is sent off to me and I look forward to it because of this. But she is not alone in this, this same context and having to ask 30 more questions is something I am guilty of too! Which is probably one of the reasons our conversations go for so long! But I love it. 

There is no judgement. If I say I need to eat and its 11 at night and I have a bowl of chili she’s like ...okay.  I can tell when she wants to say something but is holding back, or when she says she’s fine but something is wrong. And if you ask her, ‘what do you think’ you are not going to get a two word answer. Try 200 words or more, and truthfully I love that too.

But that's not to say it's all been beautiful. Like with any friendship, we’ve been tested and tried. We are in truth very different people. Beliefs clash and so on. And sometimes we have hurt each other, and survived, and are still here. 

Going forward into 2020, there are so many exciting things coming up. I will be publishing a full size novel this year, a work with an f/f pairing that I’ve placed so many dreams on. It's a dystopia in which two queens go to war and will change everything. They are also not exactly what meets the eye, either, and might have a few secrets. I hope you guys reading this will jump on board, and I hope you love it. As I wrote it for us. If you want to know more, you can find me here, or on my Patreon. 

On the note of my writing, I also hope to get at least two more books into copyright this year, and, while I will always love and will always write Clexa...it is time to move forward with more original work. Also this year..I will be going to either Clexacon or QFX and expect to meet Bethie. (And I hope some of you  too!) Guys, we’ve exchanged pictures. But nothing recent. And when I do meet her there may be a little burst of nerves that might last 30 or so seconds. But expect after that it will all be over, history so to speak...and that feeling of knowing each other forever will be back.

It is hard to believe this friend of mine is just on the phone (for now).  I guess in the end I’m not really invisible anymore, and I’m loving it. Happy Anniversary and Happy New Year Bethie.  

https://cynic-and-a-saint.tumblr.com/post/189992714251/thank-you-for-being-a-friend

[mopeytropey]

A very Happy Holidays to @mymiddlenameislextra who I was given for Clexa Secret Santa :) It was nice getting to know you a bit, and I wanted to gift you something for the New Year. Hope you’ll enjoy the read :) 

a stranded holiday

It’s not the worst way to spend her holiday.

Unconventional, yes. Potential fodder for a serial killer novel, also yes. But Clarke is nothing if not unorthodox, and she took those free Krav Maga classes last spring that left her feeling like a complete badass well into the winter season. As she drives farther into an unfamiliar, heavily-wooded area, she doesn’t let a creeping unease win out over her determination to have a new experience.

What she doesn’t anticipate is the prolific mud. Her car isn’t that old—no matter it dates back to the year she graduated high school—at the very least, it doesn’t feel old. Still, it struggles to maintain its grip on the slick, narrow road that is winding her deeper into snow-lined trees and away from civilization. The car slips more than once, and Clarke’s hands grip the steering wheel until her tires regain traction.

“Shit,” she exhales just as the tiny, wood frame house appears in a small clearing up ahead. “Finally.”

The drive hasn’t been excruciating, just long enough to have her craving a good stretch of her back and limbs in the open, mountain air. She’d given up on the accuracy of her GPS some twenty minutes prior, hoping like hell she wasn’t driving to her meet her own demise in the mountains of New Hampshire. The car’s wheels spin one last time, but Clarke jams the parking brake and cuts the engine. Enough is enough. She’s within walking distance anyway and no slouch to some mild hiking activity (so long as it is at a low-grade incline with an end in sight).

Her boots fair so much worse in the thick mud than her car tires, and Clarke nearly goes ass first into the messy driveway slush on more than one occasion. But, she keeps going. If being a woman in 2018 has taught her nothing else: it is to persist.

The house in, indeed, very small. Tiny houses are the going trend for overworked, underslept city folk who long to commune with nature and destress before anxiety overtakes their busy lives. Though she’s lived in Boston for years, Clarke has yet to bend to this current fad—has never once longed to sleep in a treehouse or yurt or luxury teepee—but she is also not above capitalizing on free lodging.

‘Take the reservation,’ Raven had said to her a few days ago. ‘I’m gonna have to eat the cost of the house anyway since my girlfriend—ex-girlfriend is a thankless, thoughtless pain in the ass. Someone may as well enjoy my fucking spoiled romantic gesture.’

An ill-timed break-up (that Clarke doesn’t think will last through New Year’s Day) means that Raven’s booked get-away house set in the White Mountains is now Clarke’s end-of-the-year lodge of peaceful solitude. Too sullen to join her, Raven had stayed at home in Cambridge to stew and wallow about her broken relationship.

It’s brisk, but not freezing, and any snow in sight is residual from earlier storms. Clarke treks along the muddied path towards the front door with a duffel slung over her shoulder and the curiosity of new surroundings ringing in her ears. She doesn’t notice the small trickles of smoke curling upwards from behind the house. She doesn’t think twice of the blue cooler sat beside the front steps. She definitely does not anticipate the door swinging open as she searches her messages for the security code Raven had sent her.

“Shit!” she starles, now with a spiked heart rate and unchecked fear ricocheting against her ribcage.

Death by serial killer it is then.

“Shit!” she says again as her boots, entirely caked in slippery mud, have her careening backwards off the first step.

A hand wraps around the material of her coat, near her upper arm, and helps to right her balance again. The courtesy of mad, woodland murderers is not something Clarke had expected, and she looks up to meet the face of an equally startled woman about her age.

“Are you okay?” the woman asks, slowly releasing her grip on Clarke’s jacket.

The woman is, without being dramatic, extraordinarily attractive, and Clarke can only hope that her audible stutter isn’t as noticeable to the woman’s ears behind the flaps of her woolly hat. “I—um, yes. You scared the living shit out of me.”

A subtle shift crosses the woman’s face, something on the edges of a smile. “Likewise.”

Read the rest over at a03

[possibilistfanfiction]

put down your sword & crown (come lay with me on the ground)

[this is rly late for clexa week but whatever it’s here (day 7 bc this is like future canon world but like nothing happened past 304) - clarke rly wants lexa to rETIRE partially bc her wife is hurt & stubborn abt it. also they have a baby. its soft & theres not a lot of plot. ao3.]

//

put down your sword & crown (come lay with me on the ground)

.

achingly beautiful how the sky/ looked as i stood after they left. nicer somehow/ in the middle. all the trees tucking blackbirds/ into their darkness. it really did take this long.

—gabrielle calvoccoressi, rocket fantastic (poems)

//

she has a limp. it’s more pronounced during storms, especially in the winter, and sometimes you think your wife is far too young to have a limp. other times you think it’s amazing she’s made it this far, alive and mostly in one piece.

you’ve been together for fourteen years, been married for ten of them. lexa is kind, attentive, and very funny—sides of her most people don’t get to see, but ones that you know almost better than any of your own moods. hers come with some warning: a tick in her jaw, solemn, sad nods, hours of swordsmanship when she’s upset. you think she’s more beautiful now than ever, a few laugh lines around the corners of her eyes; she takes you to the ocean whenever she can, and you think her eyes are the sort of jade—clear and depthless—as seaglass, as lightning left here for you to see.

she’s the most incredible, tender, intelligent person you have ever met, and she has a limp, shuffling in from training, again—and you. are. furious.

hale is babbling away in the corner, playing with some toys your mother had brought during her last visit. you watch her carefully because she’s walking now, and sometimes she looks at you  before she darts off across the room with an expression that reminds you so much of your wife that you have a hard time believing that lexa didn’t bear this child herself.

but today, soothed by the rain or the smell of bread you’re baking, she seems content with the small stuffed dog in her tiny hands. she looks up when lexa barges into the house, soaking wet and grimacing, but then goes back to her little game.

you open your mouth to say something, to snap at your wife, but she only holds up her hand exhaustedly before limping past you toward your bedroom quarters. you hear a stone sink into the bath you had started to draw, and then her first boot hit the ground. you wait for a moment, think about the old saying—wait for the other shoe to drop—and then, unsurprisingly, your wife’s does, softly and finally onto the worn hardwood of your bathroom.

you put hale in her little playpen—she doesn’t protest, just clings to her stuffed toys, and you brush back the mess of dark curls on her head and kiss her forehead when she smiles up at you—and then sigh. she’s the brightest, most special thing in the world and it had been lexa, surprisingly, who had advocated so passionately to adopt this tiny baby, abandoned in the woods near her home village. you had been hesitant: the ground is still not a gentle place, and it is not easy to love the most powerful person in the world. it is not easy, not really, for you to be mothers.

but she smiles, little dimples and all, and you hold her cheek for a moment before turning to go tend to your wife.

when you walk into your bathroom, lexa is naked, sort of staring at the tub. she’s put oils in it, and a few dried flowers; the room smells like lavender, like milk and honey, and if you weren’t already so mad you would be struck by it all, how beautiful and long and toned your wife is, wiry muscles and gentle curves, the steam causing her sun-kissed skin to flush gold. but lexa is crying, heaves a sigh, and then looks at you sadly, and some of your anger melts away.

‘i can’t get in,’ she says, quietly, and you’re surprised she’s speaking in english. perhaps it’s to feel further away from the words. she does this sometimes, when things are especially difficult for her to admit.

you don’t say anything, just take your shirt off and lay it on the chair. you slip out of the loose pants you have on, then your underwear, lexa watching you with an unreadable expression, one full of apology and relief.

‘hale?’

‘she’s in the playpen. she likes the toys my mother brought.’

lexa nods once, and then you step into the tub, and hold out your hands.

she takes them, is graceful with one leg when she steps into the relief of the warm water, but then it is slow going for a few moments, and her hands grip yours tightly, almost frantically, while she gets her other leg over the edge of the tub, her hip not bending like it should.

you stay quiet when you settle in, and she leans back and closes her eyes. her hand massages the muscle above the sore, stiff joint, and you know you need to wait, no matter how much you want to berate her, or argue, or yell.

‘you’re angry with me,’ she says, after a while, sitting up and looking at you. she does so with tenderness and no trace of anger herself.

‘yeah.’

‘we’ve been fighting for a while, now,’ she states, no question, and reaches for your hand.

‘we have been,’ you agree.

you take her hand, her gentle, calloused fingers, turn it upside down and trace the scar on her palm from so many years ago.

‘i do not know how to stop,’ she says, shakily, after moments of quiet.

‘you don’t have to stop being a leader, lexa,’ you say. ‘i’ve never wanted that for you.’

‘how can i be commander, though, if i do not fight with my people?’

a rush of frustration wells up in your chest, but her eyes are wide, and she looks young and lost and scared. and you are her wife.

‘we are at peace.’

she stares down at the water, swallows. ‘the other clans cannot revolt, if i were to relinquish power in any way.’

‘you are a brilliant leader,’ you say, and reach toward her to raise her chin. you nod when she meets your eyes. ‘you brought them together when you were 16. you overcame a shit show when we fell to the ground, and the mountain, and the ice nation.’

she sighs, nods minutely.

‘things will not fall apart of you give some power to aden. if you usher in someone capable and guided by your own hand.’ you squeeze her hand. ‘you are a brilliant leader, my love.’

‘he is quite capable.’

‘you’ve trained him since he was a boy.’ you smile, because you very much do like aden, and he’s grown into a fine warrior and strategist, perfectly adept and passionate and willing. ‘he will be good for polis, good for your people.’

‘i still want to lead,’ she says, looks at your seriously, tilts her head in a challenge.

‘you will,’ you say. ‘just with a little more help.’

you give her the few minutes she needs; you stay quiet and wash her hair gently, massage her hip.

‘okay,’ she says, finally, resolved and upset and relieved.

you kiss her—tender and kind, rough, a mess of a kiss, the first of a certain kind—and she kisses you back.

when you back up, your foreheads pressed together as you both breathe, she says, ‘i do not trust your machines, and i only vaguely trust your mother’—you laugh, nod—‘but i think i may want to learn more about the procedure.’

you want to sing, or shout or dance or something, because your mother has offered surgery to fix lexa’s hip for months, since you forced lexa to go to arkadia for x-rays and a consult.

‘we can do that,’ you say. ‘i’ll radio her.’

lexa shakes her head, kisses you again. ‘tomorrow,’ she says, and when you lift a brow, she sighs. ‘i give you my word, clarke.’

‘alright.’

‘just,’ she sighs, stands slowly, less stiff than before because of the warm water, ‘i need a day. i want a day with you, and with hale. to—to, i think, know what i can have.’

‘we do want you around, you know.’

lexa smiles, and, almost as if on cue, hale starts wailing for both of you, her little voice full of over-dramatic sobs. if you had to bet, it’s because she tossed her toy over the side of her playpen.

‘your daughter, undoubtedly,’ she says, as you help her out, and you flick water on her with a laugh before you follow.

she wraps her hair up in a towel and puts on a robe before walking out and collecting your mess of a child, her eyes brimming red. hale sniffles in lexa’s arms and you bend down and then hand her the little dog, wipe her tears before she hugs it tightly against lexa’s shoulder.

‘come on, strikon,’ lexa says softly. ‘mama made us breakfast.’

she situates hale at the table in her little chair, and you bring the fresh bread and cheese over with some fresh berries you’d had to trade a significant amount of venison for, but you are the commander’s wife, after all.

and you have breakfast with your family, lexa breaking the bread into pieces small enough for hale, and trying to get her to speak in complete sentences, and making both of you laugh. lexa looks at you after one particularly stupid joke that had pulled a snort out of you, and she says, ‘i am glad to no longer argue, niron.’

‘you’re an exhausting person to love,’ you say, but you’re smiling and she kisses your hand.

you clean up together, in rhythm and quietly, and hale starts to nod off in her chair, so you take her and put her between you in bed, watch her little chest rise and fall before you look at your wife.

‘she will need braids soon,’ she says, sifting her fingers through hale’s soft hair.

‘that’s all on you.’

lexa laughs softly. a weight has been lifted from her, you know, years and years of pain and being in a lifetime of forced debt to her people. she has fought for peace, and been willing to die for peace, and all you want—all you want for her, for your love, more than anything—is the same grace she has given to everyone around her.

you brush a strand of hair behind her ear, trace down her jaw. ‘you can rest,’ you tell her, and she closes her eyes like it’s some kind of holy benediction. a few tears leak down her cheeks but you let them, and then she dries her eyes and nods and props herself up so she can reach over hale to kiss you.

‘ai hod yu in,’ you say, quietly, and she smiles softly, tiredly.

‘i love you too.’

you put your hand on her hip, rub gentle circles below the waistband of her loose pants, her skin smooth and soft. your mother will cut it open, fix her bones and her nerves, and after that you will trace healing into her scar.

but for now you are all whole, and the rain has turned to heavy snow outside the windows. the fire is full and burns away; hale sighs and lexa’s breathing evens out. you watch them, and the wind howls outside, but you are warm.

[almostafantasia]

clexa prompt for the holidays! we’re going ice skating for the first time this year and it’s pretty obvious that you’re secretly an olympic figure skater or something how the hell are you so graceful you’re literally twirling around on one foot on a frictionless surface and i can barely make a left turn

okay, this was super fun to write! thanks for the prompt, anon, i hope i do it justice!

Read on AO3.

When Clarke has the idea, it comes to her very suddenly, butshe decides almost instantly that it’s one of the best ideas that she’s everhad.

“We should go ice skating.”

Lexa looks up from her phone with confusion on her face,like she wasn’t quite listening to Clarke’s words.

“Ice skating,” Clarke repeats. “You and me. They’ve built arink in the park for the holiday season. We should go.”

“Like, right now?” asks Lexa.

“No, not now,” Clarke rolls her eyes. “This afternoon,maybe. Or tomorrow. You’ve got the day off work, right?”

Lexa hesitates for a moment, like she’s trying to decidewhether Clarke’s idea is a great one or just downright ridiculous, before sheshrugs and answers, “Okay. Why not?”

Clarke smiles gleefully in triumph, before she startsdaydreaming about their perfect skating date.

“It’ll be so romantic,” she coos aloud. “Both of us wrappedup warm, holding hands so that we don’t fall down on the ice, drinking hotcocoa to warm us up again afterwards.”

Lexa nods in agreement and says, “I’m a bit rusty, though.It’s been a few years since I last skated.”

Sighing with relief, because she can already imagine howunsteady she is going to be on a pairof skates, Clarke replies, “Me too. Don’t worry about it.”

It turns out that Clarkeshould have been the one worrying.

It takes her almost five minutes to get both skates onto theice and to remain upright, and even then, she’s still clutching onto the wallthat surrounds the rink with both of her gloved hands, certain that if she letsgo, her already bruised backside will hit the ice again with anotherunceremonious thud.

Lexa, meanwhile, gets herself onto the ice without as muchas a stumble.

Staying completely upright, and with the tiniest glimpse ofelegance about her movements that Clarke could only dream about, Lexa skatesacross the few metres of ice between them and holds out one of her hands.

“Come on, I’ll help you,” she tells Clarke. “Take my hand.”

Clarke tries to pry her fingers away from the wall that sheclings to, but they’re either frozen solid by the chilly winter air, or there’sa malfunction in her nervous system between her brain and her hand, becausethey just don’t move. It’s as if her body knowsthat she’s trying to take away the one thing that is keeping her upright andhas decided to just nope the heck outof there.

“I … I don’t know if I can,” Clarke admits reluctantly, whenshe’s realised that she isn’t moving anywhere except for downwards if she letsgo of the wall.

“I thought you said you’d skated before,” Lexa laughssoftly, moving close enough to wrap an arm around the small of Clarke’s back,which Clarke leans into, deciding that the more support she has, the lesslikely she is to add to the bruises that are already blossoming all over herbody beneath the thick layers of clothing.

“Yes, but that was yearsago.”

Lexa puts her other hand on Clarke too, taking a firm holdon each side of Clarke’s waist as she tries to coax Clarke away from the wallthat is the only thing stopping her from slipping over again. It takes Clarke afew moments to trust Lexa, worried at first that they’re both going to toppleinto a crumpled heap on the ice with nobody to help them back to their feet,but when she realises that Lexa’s stance on the ice is a stable one, Clarkeslowly takes both hands of the railing and holds onto Lexa’s arms with the samewhite-knuckle grip.

“Don’t worry,” Lexa assures her, noticing the flash of panicthat crosses Clarke’s face as she realises that there’s no longer a solid wallthere to stop her from falling down. “I’ve got you. Let’s do this together.”

It takes an age for them to do one slow lap of the rink,with Lexa skating backwards and pretty much dragging Clarke around by bothhands, and then almost as long to complete a second, slightly more stable lap.By the time they’ve done two laps, Clarke’s legs ache in weird places from theeffort of trying to keep herself upright, her ass is bruised from each timeshe’s tumbled to the ice, and her ego has taken a solid pummelling that willtake at least a few days to recover from.

Lexa hasn’t fallen over once.

The girl has been skating backwards, for fuck’s sake! How is that even humanly possible?

“You never said you were this good,” Clarke pouts, leaningagainst the wall again after their second lap to give Lexa some respite fromkeeping her on her feet.

“I told you I was rusty. That’s the truth. I used to be ableto …”

Lexa trails off and gathers up a bit of speed on the ice,using the momentum to perform an elegant little pirouette in the air onto theopposite skate. All that lets the move down is a tiny stumble as she lands, butas Lexa skids to a halt in front of Clarke again, she looks disappointed withher little display of skating prowess.

“See,” Lexa says pointedly to Clarke, as if Clarke issupposed to be anything less than astounded that her girlfriend can apparentlynot just stay upright on a pair of skates, but dance on the ice too. “Rusty. I used to be able to perform movesmuch harder than that one with my eyes closed.”

Clarke just gapes at Lexa in astonishment.

“You’re…” she babbles ineloquently, “you’re basically an Olympic figure skater.”

“Oh, stop being so melodramatic, Clarke,” Lexa says, rollingher eyes. “I was never good enough to be Olympic. I mean, I came second in thejunior state championships when I was fourteen, but I gave it up to focus onschool.”

“You’re a former competitive figure skater and you didn’tthink to tell me that this morning when I suggested that we went skating?”

“It didn’t seem relevant,” shrugs Lexa.

“Not relevant?” Clarke snorts, and the exertion of herexclamation almost has her toppling to the ground once more – and perhaps shewould be in an inelegant pile on the ice if it were not for Lexa’s lightningreflexes darting out to catch her. “This was supposed to be a cute date. Youknow, both of us figuring out how to skate together, laughing at each other’sattempts to stay standing. I didn’t expect the humiliation to be so completelyone sided.”

Lexa chuckles softly and puts an arm around Clarke’s waistagainst to support her as she climbs off the ice and onto the delightfullynon-slippy floor outside the rink.

“It was a cutedate,” she tells Clarke. “At least, Ithought so. I got to hold your hands the whole time and you’re so pretty whenyou’re concentrating on not falling over. You get that cute little frown onyour face, the one that makes your look like Grumpy Cat.”

“Lexa…”

“Plus,” Lexa continues, arching an eyebrow at Clarke, “lookat it this way – you’ve just had a free skating lesson with a former competitive figure skater.” Lexaparrots Clarke’s words from earlier back to her with a little smirk, thenfinishes, “And if you’re lucky, I’ll buy you a hot chocolate after we’vereturned the skates as an apology for not telling you that I’m an okay skater.”

“Okay skater,”Clarke tuts and rolls her eyes, but she isn’t really mad at Lexa, not whenshe’s been so patient with Clarke on the ice, and when she looks so cute withher cheeks pink from the cold and her knitted hat pulled down over her ears,and when she’s making promises of hot chocolate that Clarke will be able totaste on Lexa’s tongue when she kisses her later in the evening. Grinningmischievously at her girlfriend, Clarke loops her arm through the crook ofLexa’s elbow and asks, “Can I have cream and marshmallows?”

Lexa gives Clarke a look,and it is devastating in the way that something so simple and silent can haveClarke falling impossibly more in love with the girl who already owns her wholeheart.

“Yes,” replies Lexa, “but only because you’re cute and Ilove you.”

The feeling, it seems, is mutual.

[feeltripping]

Clexa as the pairings and any type just your favorites

ooh okay. hm. trying to put this together i realize... i haven’t read enough clexa fic. rec me things!

my absolute most favouritest fic of all time for clexa is (my) Destruction Within Your Mouth by @entirelytookeen (check out all her fics, close second fav is the white queen running). Also in the running for my most favouritest is I have lost my pain by thrace.

in terms of things that aren’t quiiite a fic you can just find on aoe, @favvnsongs‘ faithverse is my most favouritest thing possibly ever of all time? there’s a playlist too :D

under the cut there’s a jumble of other fics i’ve enjoyed:

Humour/Fluff: 

This Is How It Goes by @smallamountsofmonster Clarke meets Lexa at a party in probably the most awkward way possible and wastes a lot of time with her head up her ass.

can't bear it without you by fuscience Clarke works at the mall and has an unlikely savior in the form of it's mascot - Happy the Bear. Or Lexa doesn't hate her job, but she certainly doesn't like it. At least, not until the girl from the food court starts giving her free food and drinks.

Canonverse:

(I Wanna Be) Your Left Hand Man by nightshifted "I will remember how to write your name, Clarke, but do not delude yourself into thinking I would change my way of living for you because you fell from the sky with lust for a utopia that does not exist."

make this leap (say geronimo) by adventurousfeather (kidfic) she wakes up one morning to the sounds of screaming. (at first she thinks its another nightmare, but her eyes are closed and she can feel the rough bark of the tree she's leaned up against, and the tips of her fingers are cold and she hears what sound like horse hooves, but there weren't any horses in the mountain, so what--) clarke leaves camp jaha to get her shit together. instead, she gets a baby with no chill and a journey to polis with the one and only, lexa.

high as a kite by fuscience Lexa gets injured and doesn’t react very well to the medication. Raven stands as witness to it all and Clarke just gets to deal with it. Lexa is lucky Clarke loves her. Truly.

they take their shots but we're bulletproof by nightshifted "Our winters are harsh," Lexa tells her. "You must have adequate shelter to survive them." "I survived you," Clarke says lowly. "I'll survive anything."

College AU:

lionheart (taking over this town they should worry) by idontevenwhat clarke and lexa are both wildly overcommitted seniors running multiple organizations and rarely sleeping. lexa hits clarke with her motorcycle. no one has any chill at any point, there are multiple broken bones and like three people get expelled.

the business of caring by coldmackerel a public service announcement: the campus police would like to politely remind all students, well-wishers, and supporters of the university during this time of serial vandalism that painting on buildings without permission is still illegal. this has not changed no matter how 'cool' you think it is. vandalism has never been nor will it ever be 'radical', 'sick', or any version thereof. -supervisor lexa woods

Other:

harry potter triwizard au: Those Icy Fingers Up and Down My Spine (That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine) by DreamsAreMyWords

music/band au: i sing the body electric by nightshifted "I came for the music," Anya will say, years down the line, "but music... music is just a vessel. I stayed for the people."

reincarnation? sort of? au: all of our lives (flash before my eyes) by @geralehane Lexa kom Trikru wakes up in modern New York as Lexa Woods and learns to navigate through her new life. Everything becomes complicated when she meets Clarke Griffin for a second time in her life - or is it 'lives'?

british boarding school au More Women than Warriors steklir (SilentStars)

Smut:

tear down the walls by wariangle Fine whatever, is what she gets back. Say hi to ur girlfriend. WE’RE NOT A COUPLE. All Octavia sends in reply is a selfie of herself looking judgmental.

if you let me, here's what i'll do by whythis  Lexa has had a rough couple weeks, and Clarke has a plan to help her get the tension out and finally relax. This was supposed to be a little vignette of Clarke being the one taking care of her girl for a change, but it got out of hand and somehow became about 4k words of fluffy foreplay and 4k words of pure smut. It's set in the canon world but in some vague magical future version where they got to have an actual relationship and worry about things other than Arkadia. Spoilers: Clarke washes her hair.

the Soft Sin series by @lingeringlilies A series of sinful canonverse oneshots (sometimes two shots, all lovely)

If I’m Not the One for You... series by @trashbb Modern AU sinseries, pining, power dynamics.

Fundamentals of Human Anatomy by AvaRosier Modern College AU. Clarke and Lexa are roommates who are politely friendly with one another. That's all about to change.

can't fight the friction (so ease it off) by caelzorah, hyoidbone Canonverse. It takes two months for Lexa to find resolution.

don't wanna be your girl by faithtastic Lexa's interning on a skin flick. She meets Clarke on set. Or: The adult movie AU/college AU no one asked for.

[williammarshal-blog]

Just a Scratch

Prompt: Clarke returning to Arkadia, Lexa visiting months later but is attacked on the way and seriously injured plus Abby figuring out Clarke loves her

I apologise this is about ten years late, but I tried! man, it’s difficult getting back into writing clexa when it’s been a while. I hope it’s okay.

AO3 link.

It had been on Lexa's insistence. All of it. And it began a few weeks ago.

"You should take Midnight," Lexa said, barely looking up from her table. She was frowning at a letter she'd received as Clarke reclined on Lexa's bed. She didn't want to think too crudely (sometimes she still suspected Lexa could read minds) but she'd just had a hot bath. Lexa's maids had pampered her. Even her hair was clean. Hells, even her fingernails. And Lexa was not taking advantage. Instead, she was fiddling around with her quill, thinking of something to write.

Clarke yawned. "Take Midnight where? Wait—do you want me to leave you for a bit?"

"Don't be silly. You're only in a nightgown." Lexa blinked, and finally looked up as if she realised what she'd just said. The nightgown was...translucent to say the least. Lexa flushed, and stared furiously at the desk. "I meant for your ride to Arkadia."

"My what?"

"...Aden didn't tell you?"

"That boy doesn't tell me anything except your favourite flower."

Lexa laughed. "And what is that, may I ask?"

"Nightshade, because it's dangerous, poisonous and deadly, like you."

"He said that?"

"Yes. He's usually right. You're practically his Bible."

"My favourite flower is a carnation."

"Oh."

Clarke decided to cover herself with the furs, ignoring Lexa's self-indulgent snicker. She couldn't shake the thought from her mind. When had it been decided she was going back to Arkadia? She knew her mother and Lexa had been in frequent correspondence, since winter was coming and supplies had to be transported. But she deserved a say in this, and she suspected Lexa knew a storm was coming for her. She loved Lexa, yes, but that didn't mean Lexa could just ferry her about.

"I'm guessing it's a letter from my mother," Clarke said eventually.

"It's...heartfelt," Lexa said awkwardly. Eventually, she gave up and sighed, shrinking back into her armchair. Clarke's heart sank. Lexa didn't give much away, not even when her audience consisted solely of Clarke. It was not like the Commander to give much away anyway. Her guidance in the form of Titus had gone, and Lexa hadn't said a single word about it. Clarke had tried asking Aden, only to receive an uncharacteristically stony response of "I don't know" in return. It was code for "it's none of your business"—but Aden was too polite to say so.

Lexa said it the next day anyway.

"My parents never saw me to adulthood," Lexa lamented from her chair, which seemed all too big on her slim shoulders now. "I was taken to Polis as a child, trained to be the Commander." Trained to be a killer. "I...The closest I felt to parenthood was with Anya. But I cannot imagine or empathise what it must be like to be leagues away from your family. I want you here, Clarke." Lexa did not point to the room, or even mention Polis. When Clarke looked at her, Lexa's fist was clenched over her heart, so hard the whites of her knuckles looked on the verge of exploding from her hand. "Only a monster keeps a daughter hostage from her mother, so far away. You should go."

"You're not keeping me hostage," Clarke said defiantly. "And this is my decision. You can't just send me about as you wish, and neither can my mom."

Lexa fell silent, sufficiently scolded. Clarke didn't need to guess the letter came from her mother as soon as Lexa set the quill down, and gave the empty space that look. It was the kind of despondence she hated seeing on Lexa's face. She was usually so confident and bold, emblazoned by her war-paint. Tonight she was stripped of that, her beauty hidden in the dimness of the room. Without thinking, Clarke crossed the room, shuddering in the slight breeze the open window let through. They had fallen into quite the domestic routine since all hell broke loose following Lexa's shooting. Lexa being Lexa hadn't died; Ontari being Ontari had decided to come kill them all. Polis being Polis defended their Commander until their dying breaths, and Lexa nearly died a second time, of a heart attack, when Indra proudly presented Ontari's head in a box.

Clarke proceeded to be sick on Aden's new boots.

"I want you here." Lexa's voice lowered to a murmur as Clarke nodded. Lexa shifted so Clarke could sit on her lap, and wrapped both arms around her neck. "I want you with me."

"I'm here."

"For now."

"Are you gonna talk about until you die, or something?"

"No." Lexa buried her laugh against Clarke's neck, her hand sneaking up Clarke's night-gown. Her thumb idly traced up her spine, feeling Clarke's skin prickle at her touch. "Clarke, you've got to listen to me." Lexa rested her chin against the crook of Clarke's neck, and peered over her shoulder at the piece of paper. Clarke could already see her mother's name on it, and she read a few sentences. A few was all that was needed to understand. "I didn't want to hide it from you—"

"I do miss her," Clarke said. Her voice was croakier than expected. "I do. I miss all of them." But she'd gotten so used to Nyko and his lessons; she'd gotten used to sparring with Lexa, or Indra if she was unlucky. She'd gotten used to Aden bringing up breakfast every morning just because he knew she wouldn't finish it all and he'd get to eat the leftover bread. She closed her eyes and leant her head back, exposing her neck which Lexa did not waste time in pressing a soft kiss to the skin. She kissed her again, this time gently on her collarbone, and pecked kisses and kisses up the column of her neck. Her arms wrapped around her waist and squeezed, like she would never let go. "This is my home, Lexa. Now it is, anyway."

Lexa hummed against her skin, her teeth grazing gently. Clarke sighed happily. This was her home now. Arkadia was nothing except a few of her friends, but things had changed drastically. She wasn't sure if she could even face seeing someone like Bellamy again.

"I'll still be here," Lexa promised, shifting her face so her nose brushed against Clarke's ear. "I have my people to look after. You have yours."

"I know what this note says, Lexa. My mom wants me to spend months in Arkadia."

"It's good for your people to see you."

"And what about you?"

"I have my duties."

"And after your duties?"

"Excuse me?"

Clarke grinned and twisted to face her, grabbing Lexa's face by both hands. The look of surprise on Lexa's face was surely enough, but the surprised and frankly embarrassing "mmph" she let out when Clarke kissed her made her laugh in Lexa's face. Lexa laughed back and fumbled with Clarke's nightgown, unsheathing her dagger and unceremoniously shredding it to pieces. Clarke groaned in disapproval and then in pleasure as Lexa sucked on her bottom lip, shucking upwards so they staggered to their feet. Clumsily, and feeling like it was their first time all over again, they stumbled towards the bed.

"How," Clarke said lowly, as Lexa's hands traversed up her sides, squeezing her breasts, "will you survive months without this?"

Lexa sunk her teeth into Clarke's neck, eliciting a loud groan from her. I guess I deserved that. "I have hands," Lexa murmured, and Clarke shuddered, trying to erase the image of Lexa touching herself like that. "Lie down. Let me show you what you won't get in Arkadia."

"The winter supplies will be sufficient," Kane said, resting his hands on the table. As the Chancellor now, he'd been focusing on growing their own vegetables—only to find the land a little too radioactive, still, for their taste. According to Miller, one of their potatoes had turned purple. "The Commander has sent more wagons of grain for the space we have to store it. She..." Kane looked down at the letter in front of him, and quietly snorted to himself. When he'd first stated Lexa was a revolutionary, he'd meant it. He hadn't realised he kind of liked the young woman on a personal level, too. "She has promised us casks of Southern red wine, and apologises for the delay."

Abby, seated beside Clarke, laughed. "Marcus—"

"It says it right here," Kane insisted, holding the letter up. "She is genuinely transporting wine. It's dated weeks ago, though, so liquor could be on its way." He tried to sound merry.

"It's better than the piss ale the City Guard lives off," Clarke piped up, and Kane laughed awkwardly.

Nothing had been right since her return. Her mother's embrace was her mother's embrace. It was all-encompassing love and relief. She'd asked several times if Clarke had intended to say permanently, and every time, Clarke had said no. Yet here she was, two months later, still in Arkadia. Her friends had been normal, to say the least. Octavia was civil, which was about as much as Clarke could hope for. She was still mourning Lincoln, and Clarke suspected she hadn't forgiven her for TonDC yet, either. Raven was different. She'd taken it upon herself to be Clarke's unwanted tour guide. The biggest change was her bed. Gone was the luxurious furs of Lexa's bed, and gone was Lexa's smell. In its place was a shabby double mattress in a grey room with blank walls.

They saw her more as a Grounder than as one of them, and Clarke supposed they were right. She still wore Grounder clothing, she spoke about Aden, about Ontari, about Lexa—and guiltily, it had taken her an entire week to catch up with her mother and ask her if everything was okay. She felt like a guest, not like someone who'd just returned home.

Though she could tell Kane wanted to speak about it like an itch that wouldn't go away, they never asked about Ontari, Titus' fate, or Lexa's gunshot wound. What happened in Polis would stay in Polis. Clarke felt as if she'd already infiltrated everyone's lives with enough Grounder-ness. She could tell by the look on her mother's face. It wasn't that Abby didn't understand; it wasn't that she didn't approve of her relationship with Lexa. She did understand. She didn't mind at all. But there'd always be the slight discomfort in the back of her mind. This was still the Commander who'd betrayed her daughter an inch away from certain death. Those thoughts, no matter how Lexa made amends, would stay with a mother. It was not pettiness. It was motherhood.

After the meeting, Raven, who'd clearly been standing outside the door the entire time, wrapped her arm around Clarke's shoulder.

"Not another tour," Clarke groaned. "I've seen enough of the walls."

"Nope. Wait—hey, Dr. Griffin!" Raven called her name about three times until Abby finally turned around. "Any, um, news on finding any painkillers? Any plants of interest?"

"I'm not a botanist, Raven," Abby said patiently. "There's still that other option—"

"Come on, I'd take opium at this rate—"

"Raven."

"If you'll excuse me," Raven said, a little coldly, "I'm showing your daughter around."

"You've been doing this every day," Clarke muttered. "Can you show someone else around?"

"No."

So they walked around the compound, with Clarke careful to slow the pace down just in case Raven's leg tired. Raven, for the most part, made no complaint. She hobbled—that was obvious—but she did not mention the pain. A part of Clarke just wanted to tell her to take Abby's advice. She was the medical professional after all. But there was a silent understanding between them: Raven was just as stubborn as Clarke. The only reason Raven latched herself onto Clarke upon her return was because she knew Clarke would be the only one who understood. Octavia had been distant lately, and Raven's constant presence was not a sign of pain but loneliness.

"We never really talked about it, you know," Raven said idly when they reached the gates.

Clarke fiddled with the iron. "About what?"

"You know, girl stuff." Raven scowled at Clarke's snort. "C'mon, spill. How's sex with the Commander of the Coalition?"

Clarke sputtered, and Raven doubled over laughing, dodging Clarke's misjudged slap. She missed completely.

"Does she say shit like, 'I united the clans!' when she comes?"

"Raven!"

"What?"

Clarke laughed, and then crooked her finger for Raven to come closer. Intrigued, Raven hobbled over and Clarke rested a hand on her shoulder. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind. She closed her eyes, and thought of Lexa's calloused, beautiful hands racing up her skin, caressing every inch with her fingers, her mouth, her tongue... She thought about Lexa's full lips, and the gentle way she kissed. She thought of the rough way she kissed, impassioned and sometimes heady with wine; she thought of the way she bit Clarke's lip, and the way her fingernails raked down Clarke's back as Clarke fucked her at night. She thought about the time Lexa yanked Clarke up by the hair as her fingers pumped inside her, and she groaned and gasped and came, her mouth eliciting ungodly sounds into Clarke's ear as she shuddered underneath her.

"One time," Clarke said hoarsely, feeling that familiar ache rise in her again, "we went until the sun rose."

Raven withdrew, mouth agape. "Griffin," she said in wonderment, "I'm so fucking happy for you."

Red came weeks later, but it wasn't in the form of wine.

The gates opened immediately as the Commander of Thirteen Clans fell off her palfrey, deathly still. An audience had already gathered, a stunned Kane among them, but it was the Griffins who rushed to the Commander's aid. Indra and Nyko, flanking either side of her, did not look much better. They'd suffered gashes that ripped through their armour, but Lexa had been hit the hardest. Unable to get herself to her feet again, she flopped against the ground, groaning in agony. Gunners immediately fetched a makeshift gurney, but blood was already trickling from Lexa's mouth—and everywhere else.

"Clarke," she rasped, a flailing hand reaching out. Clarke grasped it as the gunners gently tried to lift her. Abby was tearing her armour open, attempting to assess the injury. Clarke needed no medical training to deduce it was bad. "Clarke."

"I'm here," she promised, her voice catching in her throat. "Lexa, stay with me. Stay."

"What did you call them?" Lexa's voice was surprisingly steady. "Guns?"

"Guns attacked you?"

"No. Titus' weapon."

"Yes—yes, a gun."

"When he had a gun to me, I died. But I stayed with you."

Clarke couldn't take much more. Abby's medical instructions to the gunners and Jackson were simply background noise. Her vision blurred as tears took over, trickling helplessly down her cheeks. Lexa's grip on her wrist was strong, but she was as pale as a ghost. "Yes, you did," she said, desperate to keep Lexa talking. Lexa smiled softly at her, and she wanted Lexa to keep smiling. "You stayed, because you're the strongest person I know. You'll stay."

"I made you a promise. I told you that when you returned to Polis, I'd be there."

"Lexa..."

"If I don't, Clarke, promise me you will return. Just for me. Then you can come back here—"

"We're not talking like it's the fucking end of the world," Clarke said sternly, ignoring her mother's scandalised 'Clarke!' "You're the Commander of the Coalition. Act like you united thirteen clans, and stay alive, or I'll kill you myself."

Tough love, she supposed.

Lexa chuckled, and nodded. It was a promise, she knew. It was just the way Lexa worked. As the gunners took Lexa away on the gurney, Jackson and Raven supported Clarke on either side as they traipsed towards medical. Like a disinterested crowd, everyone dissipated, bar the Grounders, who awkwardly set up camp at the gates. Indra was helping Nyko unload boxes and barrels of supplies, Clarke supposed, but she didn't pay too much attention. Abby's words were fading in and out as she spoke to Lexa.

"Multiple cuts, a deep gash to the abdomen—we'll need to re-stitch that—and—do we even have any antibiotics? Just suppress the bleeding—yes, put pressure on it—and—Lexa, can you hear me? Nod? Yes? Yes, okay, we're going to press down hard—it'll hurt, yes—can you—"

A loud yell that sounded angrier than pained pierced the air, and Clarke closed her eyes. She peered through the window to see pure white sheets drenched in red, and she felt sick.

"Talk to me, Lexa. Keep talking. Tell me what happened. Take your time. Take your time. We're here. Clarke's here. You made it."

"I made it," Lexa's voice was weak.

"Yes, you did."

"Outlaws," Lexa said. "I guess. I don't know. No furs. We fought them."

"Okay. How many of them were there?"

"Too many. I wanted...I wanted—"

"What did you want, Lexa? Just—I know this hurts, so just stay with me—"

"I will speak plainly," Lexa said quietly. "Old English."

"You can speak Trigedasleng for all I care, Lexa. Just stay with me."

"Why do you care?"

Abby smiled wryly at her. "Because you broke my daughter's heart and you fixed it again."

"I broke..."

"When your body system comes under attack, your body fights back," Abby said, as she made sure the bleeding was slowing. Jackson entered the medical ward, a handful of anticoagulants ready. "Your body comes back stronger."

"And mine?"

"Not yours. Clarke's."

"Oh."

"It does also mean bodies can be broken." Abby said this kindly, as she administered Lexa the painkillers. She took out the equipment to stitch Lexa's wound; luckily, they were surface wounds. The most worrying one was the gash on her stomach, and Clarke couldn't help but stare at it. Lexa had ridden out for her, and she hadn't even asked. "So if you break my daughter again, I will break you, Commander. Respectfully."

Lexa chortled, wincing in pain as she did so.

Abby soothed her. "Easy, easy. Try not to make too many sudden movements."

"Are you threatening me, Abby Griffin?"

For a split-second, Abby turned to face the window and smirked at Clarke. Disapprovingly, Clarke shook her head. A friendship between her lover and her mother was not something she wanted right now. She knew Abby would prod around their...intimate life, and Lexa would be earnest enough to say something like "yes, we have had bed-breaking sex numerous times".

"Is that treason, Commander?"

"It depends. Will you let me love your daughter?"

Abby's face softened, and surprising both Lexa and Clarke, she reached out to cup the Commander's pale face. The painkillers had kicked in sufficiently so her eyes drooped, but Abby smiled all the same. "You would love her without even asking."

"Southern Red," Indra grunted to Kane as she rolled the last barrel off the wagon. Kane stared in silence. Just moments before, the Commander had dropped dramatically off her palfrey and wheeled off to medical. Indra behaved as if the Commander was immortal. "By Heda's command."

"Are you joking?" Kane asked, aghast.

Indra shrugged. "Clarke Griffin does not like our ale. Blame her."

[ecfandom]

PSI Clexa on a rainy day! Maybe candles, bubble bath, movies, homey dinner, etc.

Sorry for the delay, work’s been really busy. Also sorry this is…bad. I’ve only had about five minutes to whip it out.

Winter in Los Angeles is Clarke’s favorite time of year. There are many things to like about it–the slow in tourism, the cool breezes, the break in filming–but it’s the rain that has her in love with the elusive season. There are stretches of days when it comes and doesn’t stop. The sound of it drowns out the stench of the smog and the grip of the dessert dryness. The brave shrubbery cling to life on the sides of the hills, and take a deep breath.  

Clarke takes the roads to Lexa’s place with a calm that only comes in the rain. There’s a peacefulness to her that is rare and covetous, even as the traffic tries to yank it away. Today, she can’t be bothered. 

The doorman offers an umbrella, but Clarke waves him off with a smile, and welcomes the drops from the curb to the lobby. The elevator ride is over in a flash with her thoughts in the clouds, and before she knows it the doors slide open to the only thing better than LA in the rain. 

She smiles at the sight of her, all six feet of Lexa staring out her living room windows, still dressed in her work clothes.  Clarke slips off her shoes and sheds her layers, waiting for Lexa to notice her and turn. She gets all the way across the floor without being noticed. She stops just short of her, admiring her strong shoulders, and solid torso, the soft fall of her hair down her back, the hug of her pants around her endless legs. 

“Lex?” 

Slowly, as if waking, Lexa turns from the windows and settles on Clarke standing there, a small smile crossing her face. “Hey.” 

“Doin okay?” On Lexa’s nod, Clarke steps in and runs her palms up Lexa’s chest, settling on her shoulders. “You look nice.” 

“I had meetings. How was set?” 

“Wet,” Clarke says, scrunching her nose in a way that makes Lexa chuckle. “But I love the rain.” 

Lexa settles behind her and rests her chin on Clarke’s head. “You’re all wet.” 

“I love the rain,” Clarke repeats, hugging Lexa’s arms around her. 

“Me too. Reminds me of home.” 

“I bet it’s beautiful when it rains.” 

“It is.” She kisses Clarke on the head. “Like you.”  

It’s corny and cheesy, everything perfect for a rainy day, and it makes Clarke smile.

//

There’s something magical about Lexa’s patio in the rain. The infinity pool and jacuzzi takes her so close to the edge the rain falls like a curtain, inches from her face, yet never touching her. She settles back into Lexa’s chest and sighs as the warm water raises to her chin. 

These quiet moments are both rare and common with Lexa. There is a quiet to her that infuses every moment with a kind of stillness, but rare is the moment where they both get to be so at peace without any other worries or commitments eating away at their time together. 

“The candles were a nice touch.” 

Clarke can practically feel Lexa’s smile as the CEO gives her hip a gentle pinch. “Don’t mock.” 

Clarke turns to her. “I’m not,” she promises. “I love it. This is nice.” Lexa stares at her with those eyes that hold a million emotions all at once, and per usual, Clarke is struck with insatiable desire to be able to read Lexa’s thoughts. 

“I like candles,” Lexa murmurs. 

Clarke grins. “I know.” 

Lexa skirts her fingers across Clarke’s collarbones, raising chill bumps in her wake and soothing them back down with warm water. “When I was little, the power would go out in my town after dinner. We were so far from any urban center that we only had a certain allotment of electricity, and after dinner my father would bring out the candles and he would teach me about what he was working on. Sometimes my mother would tell him that he thinks too much and she would pull out the games. We’d play by candle light and inevitably I would fall asleep right there on the floor.” 

Clarke catches one of Lexa’s roving hands and brings it to her mouth. She presses her lips to it, a kiss for each knuckle, and nestles further back into Lexa’s chest. “Do they remind you of your parents?” 

“The candles?” 

Clarke nods. 

“And the rain,” Lexa mutters, her voice suddenly hoarse. 

When Clarke turns to look at her, Lexa’s eyes are wet and her cheeks are flushed with the exertion of holding it all back. The look shatters beneath the hand on Clarke’s chest as she tries to understand the immensity of Lexa’s loss. 

She grabs her cheeks and holds her gaze, trying to be there. “I love you,” Clarke whispers, giving Lexa’s face a gentle squeeze. She gets a watery smile in response, one that flutters in her heart rushes through the rest of her. 

“Love you too,” Lexa whispers, bringing her hands over top Clarke’s. “I’m glad I have you.” 

Clarke slides off Lexa’s lap and pulls her further into the pool. She wraps herself around her, and they stand there, the gentle patter of the rain and the soft music of the radio the only audible sounds this far from the streets below. 

Clarke presses their foreheads together and links her hands behind Lexa’s neck. “You have me,” she affirms. “For as long as you want me.” 

Lexa grins and kisses her. 

[hella-ubiquitous]

Clexa Fic Rec

(Because we don’t have enough of them already)

Okay clexakru, I know we already have a whole master list and everything but I decided to make one because I noticed that some other fic recs are full of ones that I’ve already read. There are A LOT of recommendations so be prepared. I’ve rated them from one * to five ***** and added the author’s summary below the title. The rating of the fic is in brackets, the status of the story is in parenthesis, and the amount of chapters is also in brackets. I’ve added trigger warnings if they are needed. Some are very recent and some are not, the word count is not always correct and neither is the status due to the fact that there are so many. You can check them out under the cut : )

CANON/ ROLE REVERSAL

The Taste of War and Heartache by thefooliam [Mature] (Ongoing- 36,723 Words) {4 Chapters} ****

After saving the world for the last time, Clarke Griffin finds herself bitter and angry and grieving for more than just the woman she lost.That’s until she finds a map that might possibly lead her to the answers she’s been looking for.It’s a suicide mission. A fool’s errand. She’s almost certainly going to lose her life in the process.Except Clarke has nothing left to lose and, even if she did, she doesn’t care anyway. (TW: Alcohol addiction) 

what the ground grows by coldmackeral [Mature] (Complete- 25,656 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ****

There is nothing a little bedrest and irony can’t cure. Lexa is sure the only thing that heals Clarke’s mind and keeps her heart thumping against her ribs is an ill-advised amount of the first and a frustrating amount of the second. But Clarke has never been anything less than ill-advised and frustrating. If anybody will survive a hole in their brain, Lexa is sure it will be Clarke. (At Heda’s expense, of course.)

Beneath the Betrayal by talentedgemx [Mature] (Ongoing- 212,332 Words) {20 Chapters} *****

Beneath the Betrayal is set right after the end of series two this explores the relationship between Clarke and Lexa and whether anything could possibly be salvaged in the aftermath of the mountain. Lots of angst, darkness and soul searching for both characters as well as the drama and danger that awaits them in leading their people against new threats. Budding romance & interactions with other characters. Very NSFW in later chapters. This doesn’t follow s3 at all guys except for how Polis looks and it has the Nightbloods, and Titus doesn’t exist. This is going to be long and I hope to deliver a story worthy of how Clexa should have been.

Before Words, Beyond Silence by natkate [Mature] (Complete- 173,287 Words) {24/24 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Before Words, Beyond Silence series] ****

Clarke Griffin is rudely taken from her cell in the middle of the night only to be forced into a room with the man she hates the most - the man who floated her father - Thelonius Jaha.He then informs her that she will be sent to Earth almost immediately to determine whether or not the ground is survivable again in the hopes of saving their people from certain doom. Alone.On top of it all, the fate of 98 other adolescent prisoners rests on her succeeding in this mission. In other words: she’s screwed. Before she knows it, she’s hurtling towards the planet at top speed with no control over the contraption that’s presumably carrying her to her death.After she somehow manages to survive the crash landing, she finds herself alone in unknown lands struggling to fight through the pain of her extensive injuries.Only, she’s not alone. Far from it, in fact.Who are these strange inhabitants whose language is so different from her own? Why does she get the feeling she’s just walked into a much bigger problem than the one she left behind on the Ark? More importantly: how is she going to survive? (TW: Torture) 

The Girl Who Kissed Saturn by Puntrest [Explicit] (Complete- 61,601 Words) {13/13 Chapters} ****

AU where a long lost space station originally located near the edge of the solar system floats back into Earth’s orbit after 97 years of total isolation. The Ark attempts to absorb this self-sustaining station, along with its invaluable resources and its strange people. The two societies quickly find themselves on the brink of war as both refuse to give up their political authority. On Clarke Griffin’s eighteenth birthday, she is released from juvenile lockup and is finally able to meet the descendants of the forgotten Trikru Research Outpost.

Knife Edge by crazywisdom [Mature] (Complete- 114,669 Words) {15/15 Chapters}****

Post 3x07. Lexa’s stuck between the world of the living and the world of the dead, where Anya wallows. As Clarke and Aden struggle to contain Arkadia’s internal battles and the external threat of Ontari’s Ice Nation, Lexa fights her past and the what-ifs to unravel the truth of the Flame and reclaim the Commander’s throne.

In the Shallows by blindwire [Teen] (Ongoing- 87,992 Words) {8 Chapters} ****

Raised for war and forged in fire, Clarke has vowed to be a leader for her people, to protect them and to make sacrifices so that they do not have to. This is what it means to be Commander and the spirit has chosen her for a reason.

(my) Destruction Within Your Mouth by KL_Morgan [Mature] (Ongoing- 114,162 Words) {18 Chapters} *****

Clarke loses: her head, her voice, her heart. (TW: Torture) 

this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender and once was violent) by Chrmdpoet [Mature] (Complete- 171,154 Words) {35/35 Chapters} ******

Clarke is only three days into being a runaway when she realizes that she did not fully think this through. When she walked away from Camp Jaha, she took only herself, a handgun with limited ammunition, and the gnawing guilt inside her. Three days without food, water, fresh clothing, or bedding of any kind, however, and she is painfully aware of how foolish that decision had been. (One you really need to read if you haven’t) 

ark enemies, or something by BSnows [Teen] (Ongoing- 9,195 Words) {4 Chapters} **

“No,” Lexa calmly says, her eyes closed and her nostrils opening wide. She really doesn’t like to be disturbed when she’s meditating. “I’m totally not here, I’m walking around the Ark like the non-delinquent person I am. Please leave a message after the beep.” Lexa takes a deep breath and enjoys as she has a few seconds of peace.

“There wasn’t a beep,” Clarke says. Lexa breathes out.

 "Exactly.“

or Your typical Clexa AU where they despise each other and have sex in the end. Plus they’re in the Ark and they’re cell neighbors.

The World Has No Right to My Heart by usuallyproperlyhydrated [Teen] (Complete- 43,885 Words) {15/15 Chapters} ****

"Be careful with that one, love–she will do what it takes to survive.”

(Quote and title from “Burn” from Hamilton)

Lexa has been watching Clarke since the fall of the mountain and does everything in her power to convince her to come to Polis.

Four Walls // Clexa AU by perpetual_gayness [Teen] (Ongoing- 24,398 Words) {10 Chapters} ***

There are very few things one can do within the confines of the same four walls… turns out falling in love is one of them.

Through the Looking Glass by RhinoMouse [Mature] (Ongoing- 114,303 Words) {19/22 Chapters} *****

Clarke was born the youngest of her class of night bloods. No one expected her to win her conclave. Lexa is a guard cadet and the daughter of Marcus and Abby Kane. After taking the fall for a crime she didn't commit she's sent to the ground as part of a group of a hundred prisoners. Or our version of the role reversal fic.

Waking in Winter by natkate [Unrated] (Ongoing- 20,757 Words) {3 Chapters} *****

In the wake of Clarke Griffin finally coming of age in Queen Nia's army, she is chosen to accompany the queen's caravan on an unprecedented visit to the capitol city of Polis - upon the whisper of rumor or yet another mind game, Clarke can't be sure.

Regardless, Clarke is met with a number of unexpected twists as the very city, itself, threatens to challenge everything she'd ever known about the world around her.

OR

AU where Clarke is an Ice Nation warrior in Nia's army who stumbles into a pre-Coalition Polis and causes trouble, as usual. Oh, and Skaikru isn't a thing in this story.

Grounded by AndiLand (AndiMarquette) [Mature] (Complete- 511,076 Words) {75/75 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin has been on her own for three months after pulling the lever at Mt. Weather. Battling ghosts and the pain from Lexa's betrayal at the mountain, she nevertheless has to return to Arkadia to warn Sky Crew of a threat from Ice Nation and the power-hungry Nia, who maneuvers on several fronts to install herself as Commander and rule all Grounder clans. But a new danger presents itself--one that will force a reckoning with an old foe--and Clarke and Lexa will have to work together to forge a stronger alliance as the winds of war swirl from Polis to Arkadia. Both understand the growing dangers and the peril hidden in alliances, but neither counted on the depth of the connection between them.

when my heart is at war by mopeytropey (scriptmanip) [Mature] (Complete- 55,297 Words) {4/4 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing when my heart is at war series] ***

Lexa is primed for great leadership and will not be deviated from her agenda.

Clarke is driven by her insatiable curiosity and is not easily deterred.

There is plenty at work to drive them apart, but the strength of their combined determination will change the course of an entire civilization.

The Shadow by Clexa1205 [Mature] (Ongoing- 121,822 Words) {23 Chapters} **** [TW: Torture, Gore]

Clarke has been on her own for three weeks after Mount Weather when she is captured and brought to Queen Nia. She is forced to serve the Ice Queen and spends almost two years training to become one of the coalitions top assassins before she is brought to Polis, as a member of Azgeda, to take part in the annual Summit. Nia tries to use Clarke's skills as an assassin, and her relationship with Lexa to give herself the opportunity to take control of the coalition. Clarke tries to find a way to break free of Nia's control. She tries to navigate her relationships with everyone she cares about while trying to break free from Nia, but until then, she serves the Ice Queen and is as ruthless as she needs to be. Nia uses everything she's got to make Lexa suffer, and uses Clarke's status as Wanheda to her advantage over the other clans. Nia will do whatever it takes for power, and Clarke and her friends will do whatever it takes to stop her.

Ice’s Champion by dragonfruity [Teen] (Ongoing- 22,924 Words) {4 Chapters} ***

When the Dropship lands, it becomes painfully obvious that there has been a slight mishap.

Slight mishap (noun): a rather unfortunate scenario in which the corrupt idiots on the Ark send the Delinquents 50 miles north of their target, into the heart of cold, barren, miserable Azgeda territory, rather than the lush forest overflowing with unicorns and rainbows they were promised. Whoops.

General Clarke and the Delinquents - those remaining after five years of toil and hardship climbing Azgeda's ranks - are tasked with appeasing the Commander in Polis on the eve of what could very quickly dissolve into an inter-Coalition civil war between their two clans. As she struggles to navigate the murky waters between Azgeda and the Commander's fiery rage, Clarke must hide her true goal: Dethrone Nia and reclaim Azgeda. But now, the Commander is an unknown variable. Will she aid Clarke in her coup, or remain loyal to the Coalition... and Nia?

AKA

The badass version of Romeo and Juliet, minus the sad ending, plus a whole lot of gay.

Lightning Only Strikes Once by fiona_249 [Mature] (Complete- 307,941 Words) {134/134 Chapters} *****

Consumed by grief, Clarke climbs Lexa's tower, not really thinking through what she plans to do. But any plans get taken away when she's struck by lightning, mysteriously transporting her back to before any of it happens.

Back in her cell on the Ark, Clarke remembers exactly what went wrong - and mysteriously, so does Lexa among her people on the ground. Between the two of them, can they get back to each other? Can they find a way to save both of their people and themselves? Or is the hatred surrounding them too strong?

[Be sure to keep an eye out for the comic!]

MODERN 

Into the Storm by anddirtyrain and mmeister911 [Mature] (Ongoing- 63,856 Words) {9 Chapters}**

This is ‘Into The Storm’ with Lexa Forrest, welcome and hold on.

Lexa is a stormchaser (though she prefers the term ‘researcher’) and her Discovery Channel show just keeps getting bigger and bigger. She grew up dreaming about studying the sky, and at 28 she’s at the cusp of her career, reporting to her adoring fanbase all about the indomitable forces of nature. There’s no time for anything -or anyone- else.Clarke is a stormchaser (she has as much tattooed over her ribs) for the local Action News. Whip smart and committed to her research, she lives for the thrill every time the sky thunders. But breaking thru at 26 in the industry has her constantly trying to push the envelope, running straight into danger to get that perfect shot.Their field of work is small, and their clashing rivalry inevitable and fierce. But Clarke and Lexa are about to realize what they feel for each other can be just as strong and unpredictable as the storms they chase.

Earned It by assassinslover [Mature] (Ongoing- 21,177 Words) {12 Chapters} **

Lexa’s too enraptured by the paint splattered girl before her to care that said paint is also all over her favourite – formerly white – shirt. So enraptured, even, that it takes her way too long to notice the distraught look on the other girl’s face and the ruined canvas in her hands.Lexa, a dancer and a business major, offers to help Clarke re-do her ruined final project.

your hand in mine by geralehane [Mature] (Complete- 59,989 Words) {14/14 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing gdau series] *****

Clarke’s father is put on life support, and becoming Lexa Woods’s girlfriend is her last chance at paying his bills. It was supposed to be about money. Insensitive, immoral, impersonal. She was never supposed to fall in love with her.

Online Lifeline by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 96,149 Words) {26/26 Chapters} ****

For Clarke, the universe of Twitter is a home, a place where she can be herself without the expectations of her friends and parents, and she keeps it secret for that reason. However, she isn’t expecting to meet a couple of people whom she begins to become pretty good friends with, and she definitely doesn’t expect to meet Lexa. And Lexa, who is on Twitter really only because her best friend Raven demands it be so, isn’t even interested in online friendships at all. That is, until she starts talking to Raven’s new friend “C” on Twitter, and finds herself captivated.

A Series of Avoidable Events by toolateintheday [Mature] (Ongoing- 165,213  Words) {22 Chapters} ****

Clarke Griffin works for renowned advertising company, Trikru Incorporated. She’s coasting through life, unsure of what she truly wants to do and settling for mediocrity. Its not her dream job but it pays the bills. It’s comfortable, familiar and what she needs. All that changes when the company bring in Lexa Woods, a new visionary, with the aim to shake things up. Clarke finds her entire existence unsettled by the arrival of her new boss who is as intriguing as she is intimidating. Can they put aside their differences and work together?

Something’s Electric In Your Blood by orangeyouglad8 [Mature] (Ongoing- 40,923 Words) {21 Chapters} ***

“You know, if you keep shocking me I might regret running off the train and giving you back your scarf.” It’s teasingly light and Clarke wonders if this girl can see the humor in her eyes and the smirk on her lips.

“Who says you’re not the one shocking me?” The slightest tilt of pouty lips.Clarke’s heart skips a beat, her lips already moving to continue the game. The banter. “I guess we’ll never know.”

The 300 by Bucklethorpe [Mature] (Complete- 66,305 Words) {16/16 Chapters} *****

Clarke just managed to burn 300 of Lexa's finest spruces.

Head Over Boots by cornchipmeteor [Mature] (Complete- 143,569 Words) {11/11 Chapters} *****

Clarke knew she had a lot to learn when she agreed to work on Woods Ranch. What she didn’t know was that, in addition to horseback riding and cattle corralling, she’d be learning about love.Lexa had zero tolerance for her new, inexperienced ranch hand Clarke, but she soon discovered that maybe life should be about more than just running the ranch. There’s humor! There’s conflict! There’s cute, fluffy cows! There’s even a happy ending!! Dual POV, because I can never choose just one.

Bend For Me by heyjayyay [Mature] (Complete- 123,746 Words) {23/23 Chapters} *****

Sloppy, Fratboy!Clarke lives with Octavia, who drags her to her yoga class one day. Clarke is the shit. She knows it. She’s cocky and doesn’t take crap from anyone, doesn’t bend for anybody, and refuses to break. Until now. AKA the one where Clarke thinks she’s smooth, but Lexa is smoother. Yoga AU (TW: Non-consensual touching/kissing)  

Be the Lightning in Me by proudlyyours [Mature] (Ongoing- 121,904 Words) {11/14 Chapters} *****

Clarke Griffin was probably one of the most annoying people that Lexa had ever met. Something about her irritated Lexa as soon as she first laid eyes on her. Perhaps it was the fact that she’d only appeared at Arkadia University two months ago but she’d already made friends with more people than Lexa had spoken to in her entire school career. Maybe it was that she laughed a little too loudly while their professor was talking, drawing more eyes to her, Lexa’s included. Perhaps it was because that laugh was actually one of the prettiest things Lexa had ever heard.

When Clarke showed up for her first shift at the bar that Lexa had been enjoying working at since the beginning of the semester, Lexa wasn’t happy. She’d spent months being distracted by Clarke in their shared class but Clarke didn’t even recognise Lexa stood in the bar in front of her.

Of course she didn’t.

i built a home for you, for me (held on as tightly as you held onto me) by coat [Teen] (Complete- 37,627 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

As Lexa walks past, giving the dog a wide berth, she spots a figure beside it. A girl with braided blonde hair stretches out on the park bench, fingers tangled in the dog’s thick fur. She frowns softly. Usually the homeless people Lexa sees are older males with scruffy beards, tugging shopping carts filled with cans. But this girl on the bench, her golden hair streaming over her back, looks so out of place that Lexa almost stops. Most homeless tend to stay near the city, yet here she is, in the middle of the forest.

You See the Smile That’s On My Mouth (it’s hiding the words that don’t come out) by heartshapedcandy [Teen] (Complete- 48,677 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ****

It takes Clarke and Lexa about five seconds to fall in love, but it takes them way too long to realize it. This is that way-too-long.ora story in which Clarke and Lexa kiss too much and communicate too little. 

still home by solinasolina [Unrated] (Complete- 49,338 Words) {8/8 Chapters} ***

Abby placed the package on the ground and took a step forward. There was a strong sense of familiarity coming from the young woman in front of her, but she just couldn’t quite figure out where from. She raised an eyebrow, “Have we met before?”

Lexa nodded immediately. “I use to live next door.” She points to her childhood home, “My parents–”Abby goes wide-eyed as she realised who was standing in front of her, 

“Alexandria Woodson?!” she cut in.

“It’s just Lexa Woods now,” she smiled. “But yeah…”

You’re Fired (So Yeah You Win) by LaFlashdrive [Explicit] (Complete- 108,333 Words) {14/14 Chapters} ***

The one where Clarke draws Lexa’s name for the office Secret Santa, not knowing Lexa is the President of the company she works for. The gag gift she gets her is a bit… unconventional. A dildo. It’s a dildo.

Lover In Low Light by Chrmdpoet [Mature] (Complete- 85,157 Words) {? Chapters} *****

“You’re never going to love anyone the way you loved her. That kind of love, it only happens once in a lifetime, so if you’re waiting to feel that way again, I think you’re always going to be waiting.“or Five years after their relationship’s end, college sweethearts Lexa and Clarke find themselves in the same city again. Now, they are different people with different lovers and different lives, but neither ever fully let the other go. Will what they once had still be all they are looking for, or is it finally time to truly let go and move on? 

[DELETED: It was publicated] 

Southern Constellations by Themickeysays [Mature] (Complete- 55,549 Words) {12/12 Chapters} **

After they stop laughing Clarke blurts out, “It must be fate. It’s written in the stars somewhere for us to meet.”

Lexa just raises an eyebrow at her.

“What you don’t believe in fate? Or look to the stars?,” she asks in what’s supposed to be an ominous voice. 

OR Lexa needs a ride home and Clarke needs some company to put off going home. What happens when these two strangers decide to ride down to the south from NYU? Hint: Gay Things™ OR The clexa roadtrip au where they are so extra making a 13 hour trip last 10 days, and manage to change their lives forever.

something broke by lexasforehead [Mature] (Incomplete- 63,457 Words) {21/22 Chapters} ****

“Ready to lose butt chin?” taunted Lexa.

“I’m actually saving that spot for you, forehead.” Clarke retorted.

You’ve Got Mail (She Loves Me) by orangeyouglad8 [Teen] (Complete- 50,210 Words) {30/30 Chapters} ****

What happens when big, bad, Fox Books opens up around the corner from the small, hipster, Arkadia Books? A Clexa spin on the classic You’ve Got Mail. Business rivals turned…?

The Three Truths by transientpermanence [Teen] (Complete- 74,485 Words) {17/17 Chapters} *****

It was always easy, until it wasn’t. [DELETED, but was reposted somewhere else, and it was not posted by the author but credit was given.]

In Our Own World by bouj525 [Mature] (Complete- 124,555 Words) {13/13 Chapters} [TW: Mentions of self-harm and attempted suicide] **

Lexa missed Clarke like one missed their favorite song after becoming deaf. Clarke missed Lexa like one missed their favorite color after becoming blind. Or The travel-the-world, online meeting, somehow long distance relationship AU.

Pie In the Sky by Lingering Lilies [Mature] (Complete- 46,874 Words) {13/13 Chapters} [TW: Domestic abuse] **

Trapped in a small town, dead-end waitressing job, and a loveless marriage, Clarke Griffin finds herself faced with an unwanted pregnancy. She finds solace only in her gift for baking pies and the company of a young doctor named Lexa Woodward.

Turning Down and Turning On Clarke Griffin by proseoflife [Teen] (Complete- 18,628 Words) {13/13 Chapters} ***

Clarke gets set up on a blind date. What she didn’t expect was to fall in love that same night. How many times can Clarke Griffin get turned down, and turned on, before she says ‘fuck it’ and walks away?

Artists Love Better by cissarego [Explicit] (Complete- 58,894 Words) {17/17 Chapters} ***

Modern AU - Clarke is an artist and Lexa, a photographer. After a not so friendly first encounter, they find themselves intrigued with each other. A timid friendship starts to grow into something more. Are they ready for this? A bit of fluff, hints of angst and a lot of Clexa! :)

It’s For Your Own Good by trying [Mature] (Ongoing- 43,596 Words) {9 Chapters} [TW: Homophobia and abuse] ***

Clarke’s hands were trembling slightly and she wrung them anxiously in front of her as she entered the main room. Plastic chairs were set up in a loose semi-circle in the centre of the room, most of them already occupied by the other campers.

Gay campers. Some of them attractive gay girl campers.

Fuck. When Clarke gets sent to conversion therapy camp, she thought everything she knew was over. Turns out, life is just beginning.

Come With Me by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 89,319 Words) {24/24 Chapters} [Part of the complete With Me series] *****

Clarke Griffin spontaneously decides to go to London for a few days, with the hope that she can escape the problems happening in her life, and by chance meets a nice temporary companion, Lexa. A photographer on a commission that’ll take her across north and central Europe, Lexa is adventurous and stunning and fills Clarke with an adrenaline that she hasn’t felt in a long time.

And well… things happen.

blood rush in the hazy glow by firetestsgold [Mature] (Complete- 65,052 Words) {10/10 Chapters} ****

“The locals aren’t fans of college kids. This is their neighborhood bar. They can get…territorial.” Clarke studies the girl who stopped the fight before it began. Leaning back in her chair in the back of the bar, she’s all dark hair and dark eyeliner and dark alcohol. Clarke can see what he’s saying: the glare etched into her face is a clear warning for anyone who might step forward to her.But the vodka has thinned Clarke’s blood; she’s always been brazen and right now she can’t take that warning as anything less than a challenge.She grabs Octavia’s wrist and pulls her forward. “C’mon.”

Chemistry by class [Teen] (Ongoing one-shot collection- 17,227 Words) {7 Chapters} ****

"I’m going to set everything on fire."

A collection of Clexa one shots.

and we grow. by aos_skimmons [Teen] (Ongoing- 40,500 Words) {6/7 Chapters} ***

“I’m a mess,” Clarke says. You’re perfect, Lexa wants to say back. But instead, “No you’re not.” Clarke looks up then, giving Lexa a pointed look, as best as she can with already watery eyes.

“I’m pregnant, Lexa.”

This is the story of how two best friends raise a child together, and some how fall in love along the way.

Always You, Only You by zroe [Unrated] (Complete- 81,472 Words) {46/46 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Imperfect series] **

Clarke and Lexa have been the best of friends for years, perhaps the closest of all in their group of friends. The connection, chemistry and comfort that they share is unmatched by any of their other friends. Everyone knows that when they’re both single things tend to happen between them. It’s a comfort thing. A no strings attached thing. A thing that they both silently understand. But do they really? They’re best friends who have the power to lift each other up, but also the power to tear each other down. What could possibly go wrong? There is one thing that will always be true - The one that brings out the best in you, will always be the one that can bring out the worst in you.

Note: If you’re looking for a quick Clexa fix, this might not be the story for you. These two dummies, will probably make you crazy.

After You by Chrmdpoet [Unrated] (Ongoing- 27,301 Words) {5 Chapters} ****

They grew up together in pieces, scattered here and there, like an unfinished puzzle. In moments, sometimes tender and sometimes turbulent. In both careful and careless connection.

They collided as two roads converging, two paths always intended to meet. [TW: Child abuse]

Cheap Thrills by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Ongoing- 43,352 Words) {13 Chapters} ***

Clarke’s life is a mess: she hates her job, she’s always broke, she has a bad habit of having one night stands, and sometimes she drinks a little too much. Her best friends Octavia and Raven are getting all of their stuff together, and she’s being left behind. Somehow, she can’t manage to pull herself together, until she meets Raven’s new coworker Lexa, who happens to be everything she’s been missing.

a pleasant undoing by mopeytropey (scriptmanip) [Mature] (Complete- 104,225 Words) {12/12 Chapters} ****

Clarke is in denial. Octavia is grumpy. Lincoln is in love. Raven is awesome. Lexa is conflicted. 

And everyone is potentially too invested in good beer.

Conscious Lover by notreallystraight [Mature] (Complete- 40,797 Words) {11/11 Chapters} **

Clarke and Finn have been dating for eleven years now and she no longer knows the difference between loving and being in love.

OR

Clarke meets Lexa and her world gets twist-turned upside-down.

she’s got a way with words by commanderofraccoons [Teen] (Incomplete- 20,021 Words) {5/10 Chapters} **

“Excuse me,” a frustrated voice sighed into Clarke’s ear, “I need to get back to my place.”

Clarke turned around suddenly, feeling her cheeks redden as she took in the girl in front of her. Her brown hair was lazily tossed up in a bun, though no hairs seemed to be trying to escape the black elastic band. She was wearing a dark green shirt with Polis Park printed across it, and her matching shorts were high up her legs. 

Christ, her thigh muscles. 

or 

The “Clarke visits a nearby amusement park with her friends, and she ends up thirsting over the cute girl who works there” AU

A Flower’s Dare by Bee_Charmer [Mature] (Complete- 54,440 Words) {19/19 Chapters} ***

The day of her wedding, Clarke Griffin expected a great number of things. She expected to love her dress, to love being surrounded by those she cared about most. More than anything, Clarke expected her best friend so smile his brightest when he saw her coming down the aisle.

What she did not expect was to lock eyes with the beautiful florist who would completely change her life.

OR

The (loosely based) Imagine Me & You AU I couldn’t get out of my head.

And the rest is just typewritten by GoG (tarsbrain) [Teen] (7,679 Words) {Oneshot} **

A small sign hangs from the folding table reading ‘Stoic Poetry’ and Clarke can’t help but smile at the stranger’s presence at the market.

Or the one where Clarke is an artist with a booth at the downtown market, and Lexa and her typewriter make people cry with words.

It Takes As Long As It Takes by OForion4 [Teen] (Incomplete- 94,964 Words) {25 Chapters} *****

“Can you please just tell her this for me then? This one thing, and I’ll leave you alone. Please, Anya. Tell her I’ll wait for her every Sunday at 10 AM where we first met. Rain or shine, I’ll be there. Until she comes. To forgive me, or to tell me to stop because she’s moved on and found someone else and I’ve lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please tell her that for me. Please.”

or

Modern AU where Clarke messes up and breaks Lexa’s heart. Clarke patiently waits for her every Sunday at the place they met, for 2 years, hoping to see those green eyes again. Will she come?

Astuary Queen by morningsound15 [Mature] (Ongoing- 17,748 Words) {2 Chapters} ****

Clarke snorted. “We get new doctors like every other month, O. This guy’s not gonna be any different.”

Octavia glared. “First of all, internalized misogyny, the new attending is a woman, not a man. Women can be doctors too,Clarke.” Clarke rolled her eyes, but Octavia soldiered on. “And secondly, did I already mention that she’s smoking hot? Because she is smoking hot. I heard Murphy talking about her with—”

Clarke scoffed. “Murphy’s a pig. He thinks everyone is hot.”

“I mean…” Octavia trailed off. “Well… yeah, duh, but I Googled her this morning and—” Octavia whistled under her breath, her eyes gleaming with teasing mirth. “I cannot state this enough, Princess. Doctor Woods is a fucking fox.”

Lion’s Roar by smallburrito [Mature] (Ongoing- 9,744 Words) {6 Chapters} **

Confronted with shocking truths about her past, Clarke Griffin has no choice but to run away. It just so happens she chooses the one week the circus is in town - and the rest is up to fate.

you’re my sunshine in the rain when it’s pouring (won’t you give yourself to me) by bearer_of_light [General Audiences] (Ongoing- 24,864 Words) {11 Chapters} ***

Clarke and Lexa are friends and have been friends for a very long time. What happens when one of them realizes they have feelings for the other?

Breathe For Me, Love by NightHeda [Mature] (Ongoing- 14,688 Words) {11 Chapters} *** [TW: Depression, Self-Harm, Mention of Self-Harm, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Mention of Suicide, Mental Health Issues]

Clarke is a patient in a psychiatric hospital and never in a million years would she have expected to meet the famous rockstar Lexa Woods there. And she isn't excited, either.

Or so she thought.

(Rated M, just in case.)

bang shui by AndiLand (AndiMarquette) [Unrated] (Complete- 215,743 Words) {30/30 Chapters} ****

Clarke Griffin is a med student at Polis University. She and Raven Reyes are roommates who just moved into an apartment closer to campus, but their neighbors have extremely loud marathon sexy times and Clarke is just not getting the rest she needs. She runs into one of the neighbors -- Lexa Woods, a grad/law student -- and tells her to please move her bed away from the wall. Which is embarrassing, yes, but anything could result from that type of conversation...

FAKE DATING/ ARRANGED MARRIAGE

i’ll try my best (how much do i invest?) by babytobin_horse [Unrated] (Complete- 26,007 Words) {6/6 Chapters} ****

Lexa can never say no to Clarke, and that’s the problem. (or: fake dating au)

We Were Pretending, and Then We Weren’t by aos_skimmons (Complete- 20,451 Words) {2/2 Chapters} **

Who knew a one-night stand could lead to a free trip to Alaska and a girlfriend.

Our Hearts (Have Minds of Their Own) by EffortlesslyOpulent [Mature](Complete- 103,319 Words) {15/15 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Our Hearts series] *****

Clarke is NOT going back to another family reunion without a fake girlfriend to shut everyone up. Lexa, her neighbor and best friend, needs powerful clients like the Griffins for her up and coming business.How inconvenient that they accidentally fall head-over-heels for each other in the process. It’s a fake dating Rom-Com.

Cold Case by crazywisdom [Mature] (Complete- 38,409 Words) {8/8 Chapters} ***

Undercover cop AU: Once Wells Jaha is ratted out by a mole within the police force, DCI Anya decides it’s time to send two out in the field – Detectives Clarke Griffin and newcomer Detective Lexa Woods – to end this RED, Cage Wallace and Dr. Tsing business once and for all. Their covers? A loved-up lesbian couple.

the break upper by 100hearteyes [Mature] (Ongoing- 91,242 Words) {21/24 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin doesn’t have the most honourable job ever: she makes couples break up for a living. She unmasks the liars, the cheaters, and the deceivers. Marital justice, one might wishfully call it — and she gets paid for it. Clarke’s only rule: don’t fall in love with the target.alsoLexa Woods has the perfect life, with the perfect job, the perfect friends, and the perfect fiancé. Problem? Said fiancé is a man — and Lexa is kind of sort of totally a lesbian.

Bated Breath by thedeadflag [General Audiences] (Complete- 22,293 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

Clarke was counting down the hours until she’d achieved a hard-won month-long reprieve of driving Octavia to Lincoln’s, having been her best friend’s designated driver for months. But then she meets Lexa, manages to get them both into a mess, and ends up owing the woman a favor. Yet, Clarke still wouldn’t mind time slowing down a little bit for as long as Lexa’s with her A modern ‘Fake dating’ AU. 

Till Death Do Us Part by Stubborn_Teen [Mature] (Incomplete- 191,716 Words) {14 Chapters}  *****

“So you’re my bride to be? Not what I expected at all.” Clarke comments and Lexa didn’t know whether to be offended or flattered since Clarke was giving her a pretty curious look - nothing too sinister. 

“Alexandria was it? What kind of name is that?” Okay, Lexa was offended.

“You’re one to talk, Clarke.”

How To Lose Someone In 10 Days by Jaansche [Mature] (Complete- 103,268 Words) {16/16 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin is an artist and player who, to win against her best friend Raven, bets that she can make anyone fall in love with her in 10 days. Lexa Woods has been assigned to write an article on “How to Lose Someone in 10 days.”

My Heart For A Minute by MsDorisDaisy [Mature] (Complete- 166,909 Words) {22/22 Chapters} ****

Nine years after Jake’s tragic but heroic death, Clarke and Abby have finally gotten their lives back on track thanks to the unconditional love and support of family matriarch, Lillian Walters. As unfortunate as it seems for Clarke, she soon finds herself on the business end of her grandmother’s meddling when the aging woman adds a pre-death condition to her living will: Clarke will be gifted enough money to buy her own art gallery when she gets married to one Miss Alexandria Abigail Woods, the one girl in the world whom Clarke actually legitimately cannot stand.

a crown seldom enjoyed by onemilliongoldstars [Mature] (Ongoing- 29,373 Words) {5/25 Chapters} ***

To maintain the fragile peace between north and south, Clarke of House Tyrell is sent to live in Winterfell as an act of faith between the two kingdoms. There, she is put under the protection of the first queen in the north, Queen Lexa of House Stark, Daughter of Wolves. A woman draped in steel and silver, wolves at her heels and rumoured to be a manifestation of the fury of the old gods; Clarke refuses to be awed be her quiet violence and cold smile. Instead of fostering unity, the meeting of the wolf and the rose lights a spark that spreads through the rest of Westeros, threatening to burn it to the ground.

HIGH SCHOOL 

Catch Me, I’m Falling by effortlesslyoppulent and samkomtrashkru [Mature] (Complete- 288,841 Words) {24/24 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing catch me series] ******

Lexa Woods is Arkadia High’s brand new varsity quarterback star, badass and adored by all. Clarke Griffin is a model student who dreams of getting an art scholarship. With Lexa’s arrogance and Clarke’s stubborn tendencies, they never thought they’d be compatible, much less soul mates. But as fate would have it, Clarke becomes Aden’s tutor, and she and Lexa fall infuriatingly, helplessly in love with each passing day.

OR: The HSAU where Aden plays cupid with Clarke, Lexa, and all of their friends, and ends up watching practically all of them fall for each other. (Another one that if you haven’t read, seriously, just read it)

Dynamite With A Laser Beam by TDD [Teen] (Ongoing- 129,636 Words) {16 Chapters} ****

When Clarke’s high school, Arkadia High, merges with Polis Secondary School, Clarke and her friends are faced with old enemies and the opportunity of new friendships. Clarke needs to figure out how to fit in with the soccer team and its captain while trying to win over the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen. It’s not easy being Clarke Griffin, especially when she has a tendency to make life harder for herself. Despite all of that, there’s no stopping her as long as she has her friends by her side- who are just as reckless as she is.

All That You Got (Skin to Skin, Oh My God) by Dreamsaremywords [Mature] (Ongoing- 68,659 Words) {14/15 Chapters} ***

Anya burst into laughter. “Wait, wait, wait a minute. You and Clarke grew up together, Clarke is oblivious but you’re totally aware of your feelings- super GAY feelings-and your dad being a pastor complicates things, but you guys are like magnets and you can’t stay away from each other, even though you have no idea what the hell you’re doing, and then you don’t even talk about it. You spend way too much time thirsting and not enough actually being honest with each other and with yourselves. So, to get this straight- you’re not.”

Lexa deadpanned her. “Clearly.”

I Meant to Ask You by fairytaleslayer [Teen] (Complete- 41,914 Words) {15/15 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin and Lexa Woods have been best friends since Clarke’s mom moved three doors down from Lexa and her father. They’ve also been in love with each other since before they knew what it meant.

Down Came the Rain by almostfantasia [Teen] (Complete- 30,958 Words) {3/3 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Down Came the Rain series] ****

Their paths have no reason to cross. That is, until a torrential downpour leaves them both caught at a bus stop with only one umbrella between them, forcing their lives together. Lexa, the private school student from a sheltered family. Clarke, the teenage runaway with no home to call her own. They make an unlikely pair. Friendship doesn’t come easily, but when it does, is that ever going to be enough for either of them?

The Days of Our Love [series] by MsDorisDaisy ****

Lift Me, Catch Me by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 104,598 Words) {20/20 Chapters} [Part of the completed Lift Me, Catch Me series] ****

Settling into a small town in Florida, and living with an uncle she barely knows, is hard enough for Clarke even when she’s dating who she believes to be one of the greatest guys at school. It gets immensely harder when a New Year’s Eve party reveals what kind of guy her now ex-boyfriend really is. Now almost entirely alone, Clarke falls into a new friend group, a group of girls who couldn’t care less about her past, her sexuality, anything. One of those girls in particular catches Clarke’s attention quite well, and as Clarke gets to know her, it’s like pieces of herself are being lifted and pieced back together into a version of herself stronger than the way she was even before her life got so messed up.

Something Tragic by heyjayyay [Mature] (Complete- 112,823 Words) {25/25 Chapters} ***

When they met, it was not of their own accord. In fact, they probably never would have crossed paths if it wasn’t for the project. They were juniors and Lexa was the quiet, new girl. Having to move in with her uncle, Gustus, after the fire was probably one of the most difficult things she had to ever endure. Tragic, really. Life always seemed to turn out that way for the brunette.

L’arirvée des papillons by TheWorldAndTheEmpress [Explicit] (Incomplete- 51,495 Words) {13/14 Chapters} *****

Clarke Griffin is on top of the world, admired by the entire school. Everyone, that is, except for outsider Lexa Woods. Lexa’s indifference to her is the one thing that Clarke cannot stand, and she makes it her life’s mission to torment the other girl. But when Clarke takes it one step too far, she’s forced to partner up with Lexa for a project. Soon, she’ll realize just how little she really knows about Lexa, and about herself, as it turns out all she really wants is for Lexa to notice her. or Clarke falls head over heels for the last person whe would expect.

Molihua by BrittzandTana (ToriWritesStories) [Mature] (Complete- 118,421 Words) {38/38 Chapters} ****

Clarke has been through a lot through the summer before her junior year, and when she comes back to school, she’s changed. As she begins to feel like a billion pieces falling apart, she finds a special person to hold her together and treat her like the beautiful flower of a girl that she is. (Jasmine Flower - Mo Li Hua).

WAR/ VETERAN/ SPY/ ASSASSIN

Friend or Foe by icherishpotatoes [Explicit] (Ongoing- 20,472 Words) {9 Chapters} ** [TW: Violence, drug addiction, PTSD, mentions of rape]

Clarke Griffin gets kidnapped in one of her doctors without borders visits to South America. A ransom is demanded in return for her safety by a rebel army known as Azgeda. Lexa Woods is an undercover agent in the rebel army whose job just got a lot worse. Or Lexa spent a year infiltrating Azgeda and gaining their trust only for her mission status to change: Protect Senator Abigail Griffin’s daughter Clarke Griffin while maintaining your cover. Rescue mission pending upon failed negotiations.

Mrs. & Mrs. Woods by knich94 [Mature] (Complete- 95,958 Words) {39/39 Chapters} ****

After five (or six) years of happiness together, ordinary couple Clarke and Lexa Woods find themselves stuck in a rut. However, unknown to each other, they are both deadly, highly paid assassins working for rival companies. After a hit gone wrong, they discover that they are each other’s next target. Their secret lives (and they) collide explosively.

Or… The Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU featuring all your favorite characters, humor, fluff, angst, and references to canon and the crazy ideas this awesome fandom developed. Clexa centered and Clexa endgame! The first few chapters are a little slow but the action quickly picks up :D (TW: Violence and Torture)

Good Morning, Afghanistan by cornchipmeteor [Mature] (Complete- 113,461 Words) {18/18 Chapters} *****

Staff Sergeant Clarke Griffin, US Air Force. Sergeant Lexa Carey, US Marine Corps. Afghanistan is already dangerous enough without their feelings getting in the way. But let’s be real, these ladies are experts at falling in love in a war zone. (TW: Violence, PTSD)

The Long Walk by Diaph [Mature] (Ongoing- 57,578 Words) {22/25 Chapters} ***

Lt. Lexa Woods finally makes it home for Thanksgiving in far worse state than she left after doing the very thing she warns all her men never to do, be a hero. She finds herself in the hands of Dr. Clarke Griffin, the young and high-achieving Neurology specialist who is determined to get the soldier to walk and talk again with a new surgical procedure.

It’s during the mind-numbing nights spent in the hospital far away from home that the sarcastic soldier charms her way into more than just the doctor’s medical observations. (TW: PTSD) 

Prisoner 319 by ur_the_puppy [Teen] (Ongoing- 141,468 Words) [Part of the Ongoing The Others series] {8/10 Chapters} *****

After being a prisoner in Azgeda Tower for over a year, Clarke Griffin is suddenly transferred to a new prison - Polis. Commanded by Lexa, the youngest and most ruthless Head of Polis Prison in decades, Clarke finds herself in a completely new environment - with no friend's or clue of what's going on Clarke must navigate her way through an unknown world. All the while holding her secrets close to her chest. It wouldn't help to have people know that she was a highly trained assassin who was supposed to be dead.

or

a prison au with a supernatural twist. raven is sarcastic, octavia is a human fireball, clarke is a deadly mess and lexa is, well, very gay

(TW: Violence, Torture) 

Lancelot by almostafantasia [Mature] (Ongoing- 11,399 Words) {3/14 Chapters}

Lexa Woods, an impeccably dressed British secret agent for the covert Kingsman organisation, whose latest mission sees her sneaking through the corridors of the White House in the middle of the night, finds herself having to seduce the daughter of the newly elected President of the United States in a bid to save the world. It’s a surprise to Lexa when she ends up falling for her target as fast as she does, meanwhile Clarke doesn’t expect her gorgeous date for an international political gala dinner to drag her into a world of thrill and danger where one wrong move could cause a global disaster.

PAST/ ROYALTY/KNIGHT

The Queen Consort by MadeInSpace [Mature] (Ongoing- 13,391 Words) {3 Chapters} *** 

As the music swelled around them to announce the festivities ahead, Clarke only noticed how quickly the Queen dropped her hand.

What heart’s ease must queens neglect by thrace [Mature] (Complete- 83,285 Words) {8/8 Chapters} *****

Lexa is going to drag her country into the modern age kicking and screaming if she has to. Enter Clarke Griffin, United Nations election observer.

most ardently by onemillliongoldstars [Teen] (Ongoing- 32,074 Words) {5 Chapters} *****

Clarke Griffin has been forced to abandon her name and her family. She is desperately hiding in her new role as lady’s maid to Lady Lexa, fumbling through her duties and hoping to become invisible, when she realises that her heiress mistress is caught firmly under the thumb of her overbearing uncle. As Lexa suffocates under the expectations of her remaining family, she and Clarke slowly realise that they may be each other’s safe haven.

or: Clarke is hiding a secret while struggling to seem like an experienced lady’s maid for Lexa, who is painfully glad for a friend.

Suffragette by William89 [Mature] (Complete- 37,553 Words) {10/10 Chapters} **

Historical AU – London, 1913. After bombing the Prime Minister’s house, suffragette Lexa is being chased by the police. Lady Abby Griffin offers her a way out: she needs a maid to accompany her sick daughter Clarke to their estate in Lancashire, where she is supposed to live for a year. Even though she hates everything about the aristocratic life, Lexa has no choice but to pretend she’s Lady Clarke Griffin’s new maid, which proves to be a hard task when she finally meets the temperamental girl.

Suffrage by stringingwords [Mature] (Complete- 102,370 Words) {27/27 Chapters} ****

The 20th century has just begun. London is bustling with budding inventions, grand soirees, rumors of war, and inequality. Growing tired of being considered property, women are rallying across the country in favor of their right to vote.Clarke, Raven, and Octavia are scrappy suffragists determined to make the change happen. They find an unexpected ally in Lady Alexandra Woolcott, a noblewoman in the enemies’ camp.

Or the fic about Clexa taking down the patriarchy you may have known you needed.

Cigarettes In the Theatre by natshana [Mature] (Ongoing- 70,728 Words) {14 Chapters} *****

They close at eight but the small, pouty frown which adorns the girl’s lips and the gentle crease that forms between her brows makes the late hours seem all the more worth it. Of course that’s what she tells herself anyway, nevermind the dwindling night sky which casts the shop in a soft glow and makes the girl’s vibrant eyes dance like a forest under stars. 

or the 1983 movie store AU where Lexa is a small gay nerd who loves video games and Clarke is a smitten cashier for the awkward girl in wire frame glasses. (cause what’s better than 80’s wlw and video games)

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum by jaimeajamais [Mature] (Ongoing- 117,755 Words) {18 Chapters} *** [TW: violence, slavery]

Lexa is the Empress of Rome. Clarke is an Amazon, the new leader of a conquered people. When Clarke is captured and taken back to Rome as the Empress’s slave, she and Lexa form a complicated relationship. And as always, much more than the fate of their own hearts is at stake.

The Hunters Chosen by unicyclehippo [Unrated] (Complete- 192,881 Words) {12/12 Chapters} [part of the ongoing In The Hands Of Gods series] *****

tortall au: Lexa of Haryse only wants to be a knight and, though a handful of girls have followed Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan's example in the last five years, many challenges remain for a girl page. Especially one who has the hand of a God upon her.

SPORTS/ DANCE

Individual Medley by nutalexfanfic [Mature] (Ongoing- 87,699 Words) {13 Chapters} ****

Clarke meets 3x Olympic gold medalist in swimming, Lexa Woods, at a celebration party for USA after the conclusion of the Games. It’s supposed to be just sex, but then they accidentally fall in love. (TW: PTSD)

Ain’t That A Kick In The Head by greyscalerainbows [Mature] (Incomplete- 90,210 Words) {20/21 Chapters} ***

On an abrupt, ill-advised vacation from Los Angeles, Clarke trips right into Lexa Woods, a local shop owner in faded red shorts. It starts with surfboards and a jellyfish sting.

Dance In the Lion’s Den by Tanagariel [Mature] (Complete- 132,301 Words) {20/20 Chapters} *****

Lexa Woods, young entrepreneur, has forged herself of steel. She sees life as something that has to be survived. Closing off her feelings she fights to be the best, even when she feels so alone. Moving through life without hope and a relationship that is not enough, Lexa will find herself attracted to a woman who will turn her world upside down. Clarke Griffin, a professional dancer, who has lost so much yet hopes that dance won’t ever leave her behind, keeps fighting to live her life to the fullest, even in her loneliness. She will find that sometimes looks deceive and that she shouldn’t be so quick to judge a book by its cover. Particularly when it’s someone as aloof and cold as Lexa.The businesswoman and the dancer will clash in a battle of wits and stubbornness, fighting the other until there is only one left. Except that on their dance journey, their feelings will begin to change and their life won’t ever be the same; now the only thing left is to see if they can dance in the lion’s den.

Finding Purpose by Derivative [Explicit] (Ongoing- 36,837 Words) {12 Chapters} **

Clarke has been dealing with a depression for quite some time, and Raven keeps suggesting she should join her to one of her kickbox classes. Clarke has refused on multiple occassions, but since several months of therapy, going out getting blatantly drunk and fucking random strangers hasn’t exactly helped, she reluctantly decides to give in.

Raven’s instructor is… intriguing.

Trigger warning: depression is a fucking dungeon, isn’t it? The story is going to take off lightly, but please mind the tags. It’s going to be a heady mix of humor, fluff(, smut) and pret-ty heavy shit. Consider yourselves warned, and please, take care of yourselves.

Touch or Carry by paint_the_brain [Mature] (Ongoing- 42,671 Words) {29 Chapters} ***

An Olympic Beach Volleyball AU

The shots we didn’t take by TheFrenchWriter [Mature] (Ongoing- 51,577 Words) {9/25 Chapters} ****

It’s been ten years since the Arkadia Strikers have hoisted the Jaha Cup. Clarke Griffin knew it when she was drafted, kept it in mind as she ascended to the starting goalie position and used it to fuel her will as a key player of the team, supporting her teammates until the second round of the playoffs last season, where they faced a grueling loss to the TonDC Shockwave after only five games. The team is now in desperate need of a player that will light a spark in the offensive line, a player that will restore the long-lost identity of the team and prove that it still deserves the famous nickname “power strikers”. Alexandria Woods, first line center and hockey extraordinaire, might be just the player. The twist: anyone who has seen her play knows that Lexa Woods has an ego bigger than her head and a superstar, cocky attitude that, although did well with her previous team, has brought her quite the reputation across the league.

holy ground. by lordvoldyfarts [Mature] (17,120 Words) {Oneshot} ***

Clarke comes back into the room, her face still red, but no longer looking angry. “One more time,” she says and Lexa doesn’t respond. She just gets into position. She stands in front of the mirror and Clarke comes up behind her. Her hands on her hips, similar to the way they had been that night, and Lexa feels the same rush of attraction flow through her that she did then. She tries to push it down, to pretend it’s not there, but Clarke’s grip is tight and impossible to ignore. She feels her muscles tense. “Relax,” Clarke whispers in her ear and there’s a chill that goes down her spine. She’s surprised when she feels her shoulders loosen. “Don’t think so much, Lexa,” Clarke continues and Lexa takes a deep breath.

or the one where lexa is a principal dancer with the boston ballet who lives life with her eyes closed and clarke, a new dancer from anaheim, opens them. dancer!au.

Pas de Deux by onemilliongoldstars [Explicit] (Ongoing- 51,540 Words) {9 Chapters} ***

Lexa, the country’s most sought after young dancer, keeps away from the cameras, focussing on her art form. She is single minded in her determination to be the best, until a clumsy, out of place girl wanders into her dance class and shatters her perfectly ordered life with snarky remarks and sloppy insteps. Unfortunately, Clarke is not all she seems and everything she knows could come crumbling down around her thanks to hot hands guiding positions and lies whispered between cotton sheets.orBallet dancer Lexa meets young journalist Clarke Griffin and everything starts spinning faster.

black ribbons by CareyElizabeth [Mature] (Ongoing- 65,940 Words) {11/12 Chapters} [Part 1 of the Ongoing Series two’s company] ***

‘You hit me in the face. So not only am I the best choreographer in the world, you owe me. And I need you to chill out.’ Anya came to crouch beside Lexa and squeezed her shoulder bracingly. ‘You’re the best. We all know it. And if you dance like you’re scared all the time, you’ll lose that. You have a gift. Don’t screw it up, not now, not like this.’

(Lexa is a ballerina back from injury. Clarke is a fashion designer commissioned to do the costumes. Anya is a choreographer who thrives on awkward interactions.)

dance like nobody’s watching by Homosexy [Mature] (Ongoing- 20,441 Words) {5/10 Chapters} ***

Lexa stuffed her phone, ID and some money into her pockets. Gave her hair a quick ruffle and took a deep breath.

-

Lexa is a gymnast who's starting to get successful at the international level. The problem? She's also very, very gay. One day, the night after Worlds, shortly after her eighteenth birthday, Lexa decides to take a chance at going out to a club. And it all starts there.

CELEBRITY/ PRESIDENT 

Like an Open Wound by Tanagariel [Mature] (Ongoing- 97,825 Words) {15/25 Chapters} ***

Famous musician Clarke Griffin, known in the industry as Wanheda, is in the process of relaunching her career with a new image, to leave behind the negativity and bad press surrounding her. She’s going on tour very soon, so her manager decided to hire a team, to Clarke’s dismay, with the sole intent to keep Clarke safe from her extremely ravenous fanbase.Enter Lexa Woods, who has been tasked to watch over the very wild rock star. Finding a stubborn woman who was free-spirited had been nothing but a challenge for the disciplined security expert. Suffice to say that they were going to clash.Clarke and Lexa will spend the whole tour together and in the process learning that they aren’t so different after all. That maybe, they can find a common ground between being in the spotlight and the shadows, leaving both their hearts exposed, like an open wound.

oh, dear, you look so lost by Jax (jacquienicole105) [Mature] (Ongoing- 44,649 Words) {8 Chapters} ****

Clarke is running home to Boston from an abusive marriage and an unhappy life. Lexa is the first female in the MLB, out to break barriers and prove the sports world wrong. Neither are looking for a relationship but could a chance encounter change that? (TW: Mentions of domestic abuse) 

You’re The Only Love I Found (and I’m Hoping That You’ll Stay) by awkwardrainbow [Mature] (Ongoing- 215,139 Words) {13/14 Chapters} ****

Clarke is the “straight” pretty girl that Lexa ends up working with on the set of their new television show. Their characters are meant to play a long slow burn romance and because Clarke Griffin is not only straight, but also has never played a roll like this before, she seeks guidance from Lexa whom is an open lesbian. The brunette willingly takes the girl under her wing and they begin a fast moving friendship. What Clarke doesn’t realize is how easy she is to fall in love with, or how easy it is to fall in love with Lexa.

Commander In Chief by steklir (SilentStars) [Teen] (Complete- 26,430 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

Christmas, 2020:

United States President Lexa Woods has recently been re-elected for her second term, has three Nobel Peace Prizes under her belt, and a 97% public approval rating. None of this, in any way, prepares her for the pretty girl her sister brings home to the White House for Christmas.

Quality Ingredients by HurricaneJane [Mature] (Ongoing- 199,180 Words) {26 Chapters} *****

Executive Chef Lexa “The Commander” Woods is working in her latest establishment in her home town of Portland, Maine. She is about to start conceptualizing her next restaurant and only has one rule for herself during the process: No more girls. When an accident at the restaurant lands her in Dr. Clarke Griffin’s ER, she second guesses why she ever had that rule in the first place. Lexa’s head bartender, Lincoln, is obsessed with a divey restaurant on the other side of town run by Octavia. It doesn’t take long for the small town to get even smaller when Lexa starts running into Clarke everywhere. Maybe rules were meant to be broken.

Clexa Goes to Hollywood by ivywoman63 [Mature] (Complete- 113,797 Words) {21/21 Chapters} ***

Modern AU Clexa. Clarke is an Emmy winning actress starring in a cable scifi series, who’s fictional character just lost her lesbian love interest to an untimely death. Lexa is a landscaper by day fan fic/scifi writer by night. Fun, funny, bantering, lighthearted, Rom Com

Love Letters and Coffee Grounds by JLaw1105 [Mature] (Complete- 67,674 Words) {8/8 Chapters} ****

Lexa wasn’t sure what it was that drew her into the little coffee shop on the corner. Maybe it was because it was less than a block away from the front door of her new building. Maybe it was because it wasn’t a Starbucks or some other large chain coffee front that cared more about profit than the flavor of their beans. Maybe it was the warm air filled with the soft scent of coffee, chocolate and cinnamon. But likely, definitely, it was the defiant little corner of the store that loudly rebelled against the norm.It was early November and everything around Lexa was filled with red and greens or whites and blues. It screamed of Christmas and Hanukkah. Of buying gifts and consumer driven profit. But the back corner of the coffee shop was filled with oranges and reds and browns with a rather large sign written in an angry scrawl that said

“It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, assholes!”

There was just something about it that, to Lexa, felt poetically beautiful.

Player Two Has Entered the Game by billet_doux [Mature] (Complete- 86,015 Words) {15/15 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Clexa YouTube AU series] ***

Alexandria Woods, an up and coming YouTube star, novelist, and public figure for LGBT+ rights, is watching her career skyrocket before her eyes. Clarke Griffin, a broke college student, is falling in love with the pretty girl behind the screen. OR; the one where Lexa is a dork who plays video games and vlogs for money, Clarke’s thirst has no chill, Bellamy is a protective brother bear, and Octavia Blake is the matchmaker sent from heaven for everyone but herself.

in love war and politics by centuriesofexistence [Mature] (Ongoing- 131,819 Words) {16 Chapters} ****

It’s the most watched Senate race around the country, and Clarke Griffin is running one hell of an underdog campaign against the favored Cage Wallace. But she has a secret weapon that might save the campaign–and a secret that might ruin it. And both are named Lexa Ward.

Floor It by smttnpegasus (butwhowouldbuythecupcakes) [Mature] (Complete- 53,261 Words) {20/20 Chapters} ***

 Lexa is a world class gymnast, or at least she used to be before she shockingly walked out before her floor performance at Worlds knocking Team USA completely out of medal contention. When she gets on the wrong side of the law she is forced back into a world she had run from for over a year.

The Blind Side of Love by lexawillrise [Mature] (Complete- 188,410 Words) {26/26 Chapters} *****

celeb/artist au aka Lexa is a famous actress who - using a fake name - emails Clarke after falling in love with one of her drawings, and accidentally befriends her. Only, Clarke has no idea who this ‘Alexandria Nicole’ really is. *This is a book-conversion originally written by Ingrid Díaz.*

easier to be by solinasolina [Unrated] (Complete- 149,220 Words) {24/24 Chapters} ***

Lexa Woods made history as the youngest secret service agent to be appointed to the president’s security detail. Alongside Special Agents Anya Carson, Lincoln Black and Gustus Hollows, their duty was to protect Madam President Abby Griffin on a day-to-day basis. Lexa was good at her job. She loved what she did – or at least she learned to. So when she’s reassigned to Clarke’s security detail you can understand her reservations. But she figures it’s just six weeks. Six weeks and things will go back to normal. or the president’s daughter au

Royal Viridian by ayokidd [Mature] (Ongoing- 87,824 Words) {8 Chapters} ***

Lexa is an Australian actress cast for her role of Alycia Taylor in the new LGTBQ series Royal Viridian.Clarke is the illustrator of the project and they’re in pre-production of the show. Indra, the art director of Heda Production Co. makes Clarke attend the preliminary read through, where she finds herself a little unprepared. Clarke is a confident woman who is sure of herself but that all falls to the wayside when Lexa causes her internal wiring to short circuit.

Exception to the Rule by CorvusCorvidae [Mature] (Ongoing- 23,622 Words) {5 Chapters} **

Lexa’s only been working at the White House a week, but already she’s found herself on Clarke Griffin’s radar; and now she’s on it, she’s not sure she wants off it.

Or, White House staffer meets President’s daughter

OMEGAVERSE/ WEREWOLVES

Imprint (I Was Made For Loving You) by Jude81 and Kendrene [Explicit] (Ongoing- 12,101 Words) {4 Chapters} ***

The one where after the betrayal at the Mountain Clarke has the mating bite removed and the link to Lexa severed. Things of course don’t go as planned.

Young Gods by N1ghtWr1ter [Explicit] (Complete- 233,284 Words) {33/33 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Badlands series] ****

They will go to war tomorrow with fresh mating bites on their necks; tonight they find solace in each other’s arms, and in the knowledge that the only thing that can part them now is death.Everyone knows that Commander Lexa betrayed Wanheda and the Skaikru at the Mountain. Only she and Clarke know that she also abandoned her mate. Following the events of the Mountain, Clarke has disappeared into the wilderness, seeking what peace she can find in solitude. But war is brewing, and soon she will have no choice but to face her mate, and the consequences of their decisions before and after.

Above and Below by DaniJayNel [Mature] (Complete- 100,065 Words) {43/43 Chapters} ****

Clarke Griffin is known as the Slayer. When the Organization discover that the werewolves have an Alpha, and that they have traveled to the front-lines of Mount Weather, they are quick to send Clarke with a squad to assassinate it. Clarke is eager to claim more werewolf blood. But things don’t go according to plan, and Clarke realizes too late that the werecreatures had set a trap. The Alpha has revealed themself but for one reason only: to capture the human’s most formidable weapon, Clarke.

Monsters That We Hide by KM47044 [Mature] (Ongoing- 53,240 Words) {15 Chapters} ***

“I have a solution to your mating issue.”

“So I’ve gathered, but at what price?”

Lexa leans onto the table with her elbows. It reminds Clarke of that moment in a movie where the super villain makes a diabolical offer and the superhero has no choice but to agree. “Mate me instead.” ----

Or Lexa offers Clarke a deal, but making a deal with the devil always comes back to bite those in the ass. Lexa is known for losing control; for going feral when in wolf form. Clarke knows from experience that is something not to take lightly. But looking at Lexa… she has to be lesser of the two evils.

Right?

Of Wolves and Men by ur_the_puppy [Teen] (Ongoing- 149,603 Words) {6 Chapters} ****

All it can take is a single moment, a single second, and with it everything you've ever known can be destroyed. After being bitten three years ago, Clarke has had to adjust to a complete derailing of her life. Abandoning her dreams of becoming a doctor in fear of what she could do, she hides away in the small town of Polis with her best friend Raven. It's a humans only town. That is, until a girl is killed, and Clarke suddenly realises she's not the only werewolf that exists.

or

werewolf au where clarke has no idea the extent of what she is and lexa really shouldn't be falling for a mutt.

UNIVERSITY/ COLLEGE/ BOARDING SCHOOL/ ROOMMATE/ TEACHER

Don’t Walk on Ice (No Matter How Nice) by lecksa [Unrated] (Ongoing- 68,895 Words) {13 Chapters}** 

Clarke begins to question her decisions as she finds herself strolling across campus in the middle of the night. She just needed some space and time to clear her head. However, a brunette armed with an acoustic guitar and a contagious smile tops the list of things she never expected to find this evening. Now her mind is anything but clear.

She by the fooliam [Mature] (Complete- 65,983 Words) {8/8 Chapters} *****

Her roommate looks at her sometimes and Clarke is never sure if they’re going to kill or kiss each other.

When Clarke Griffin forgets to complete her sophomore year residency application, she returns to college to find that they’ve paired her with the last roommate she ever expected to get.

The Dewey Decimal System is Not That Hard by MusicLurv [Teen] (Ongoing- 226,258 Words) {57 Chapters} ***

Lexa was just doing her job, trying to write a book at the same time. Clarke was just trying to get through school and become a doctor. They had probably crossed paths hundreds of times. But two papers, a thesis proposal, and lab work brings them together.

Open Windows, Open Hearts by Sheisme [Mature] (Complete- 89,258 Words) {22/22 Chapters} [Part of the Open Windows series] ***

Clarke comes home after her sophomore year of college to find she has a new neighbor, Lexa. Her interest in Lexa begins to grow. What makes things worse is that Clarke realizes her bedroom window looks directly into Lexa’s bedroom window. Eventually Lexa realizes the same thing. After some initial embarrassment, they decide to have some fun with it. Maybe a little too much fun.

Where There Is A Flame by eternaleponine [Mature] (Complete- 429,777 Words)  {175/175 Chapters} [Part of the completed Where There Is A Flame series] *****

A modern/college AU for The 100, told in alternating chapters from Clarke and Lexa’s points of view.This is a slow build. VERY slow. But hey, at least they’ve finally met!n Updates on Sundays (Clarke) and Wednesdays (Lexa).Ratings, tags, and warnings subject to change as the story progresses. (TW: Non-consenual touching) 

Run On Gasoline by eskimpertush [Explicit] (Complete- 115,579 Words) {35/35 Chapters}  [Part of the Run On Gasoline series] *****

Clarke and Lexa did not meet under the best of circumstances. It also didn’t help that they’re both stubborn as hell and, given the chance, would never back down from a fight. But fate has a funny way of bringing people together. So they find themselves on the road, running away from their problems, hoping to get somewhere while heading nowhere in particular. Starts off as a sort of modern college AU but is really a road trip fic. Somewhat inspired by a novel called “Invisible Monsters” and a bunch of other random shit. This is a G!p Lexa fic because everybody is apparently doing one, and I happen to really like ‘em. (TW: Mentions of abuse) 

do you feel us falling? (cause i feel us falling) by babytobin_horse [Unrated] (Complete- 34,924 Words) {6/6 Chapters}  ****

Lexa looks down into her drink, attempting to hide a bashful smile. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and Clarke suddenly finds the whole sight helplessly endearing. How could this girl go from formal and proper and in control to shy and slightly reserved so quickly? Or: Clarke is pre-med and an artist while Lexa is somewhat of a college soccer superstar with a secret love for poetry (They’re both dumb and clueless, but they like each other anyway.)

Butterflies by Tabitha Craft [Mature] (Complete- 26,123 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ****

Clarke is constantly annoyed by Lexa Woods, the know-it-all who is always waving her hand in the air and correcting professors. Lexa is unimpressed with Clarke. They don’t like each other but somehow end up spending time together, and things change, progress, evolve. They’ll never be more than what they are because Lexa wants butterflies and Clarke doesn’t give her them. Clexa without instant attraction and unfathomable lust, with expectation versus reality. A different kind of love story.

Pristine by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 92,843 Words) {28/28 Chapters} [Part of the completed Ameliorate series) ****

Clarke’s twenty-one, about to get her associates degree in art, and she and her friends just pitched their cash together to pay for an old, nearly abandoned warehouse to be their ultimate hangout zone. She’s comfortable with herself, pretty sure she’s more than a little gay, though not entirely, and ready for this next stage of her life. Lexa, on the other hand, is seventeen, starting her last year of high school and feeling not so comfortable with herself. She’s not sure if she likes boys, she’s not sure who she wants to be… Sure, she’s smart and her future is pretty set, but where’s the fun in that? When Lexa nearly hooks up with an older guy during what everyone seems to be calling her “rebellious phase”, she finds herself swept up in the life she’d rather be living, with a girl she’d very much like to be with. (Don’t worry fam, Lexa is gay AF)

Wanna Bet? by 100hearteyes [Mature] (Complete- 129,680 Words) {20/20 Chapters} ****

Lexa and Clarke don’t really fancy each other much. One of them is cold and rude, the other is sarcastic and imposing.Throw in a group assignment, two very different reactions to break-ups and Raven and Octavia’s terrible advice, and you got yourself a recipe for disaster. Or maybe something else entirely?

break your plans by pizzaoctavia [Mature] (Incomplete- 92,587 Words) {14 Chapters}  **

Clexa college!AU: in which Clarke grows tired of hearing Octavia and Lincoln’s escapades in the next room, so Lincoln offers her his apartment for study. He fails to mention his heavily tattooed hockey player roommate in the process.

bathroom stalls and late night calls by unicyclehippo [Unrated] (Complete- 63,072 Words) {29/29 Chapters}  [Part of the incomplete clexa texting au series]  ****

Clexa Texting au on tumblr

the business of caring by coldmackerel [Mature] (Complete- 71,956 Words) {15/15 Chapters} *****

a public service announcement: the campus police would like to politely remind all students, well-wishers, and supporters of the university during this time of serial vandalism that painting on buildings without permission is still illegal. this has not changed no matter how ‘cool’ you think it is. vandalism has never been nor will it ever be ‘radical’, ‘sick’, or any version thereof.

-supervisor lexa woods

More Women Than Warriors by steklir (SilentStars) [Mature] (Complete-172,201 Words) {26/26 Chapters} ******

The first time Clarke sees the Head Girl she’s sitting on a throne, presiding over her dominion with a piercing stare and a crown of braids in her hair. Her warriors are spread at her feet, a multitude of them, all long-haired and wild and clad in identical brown regalia. There’s something of the sacred about her, like the crimson cloak draped across her shoulders and her divinity are one and the same. Or at least it feels that way. British girls’ boarding school AU. Obviously. (Another must read) 

don’t wanna be your girl by faithtastic [Explicit] (Ongoing- 90,619 Words) {10/11 Chapters} ****

Lexa’s interning on a skin flick. She meets Clarke on set. Or: The adult movie AU/college AU no one asked for.

A Practiced Craft by StormFelt [Explicit] (Complete- 20,305 Words) {14/14 Chapters} ***

Set in a modern day alternate universe at Arkadia University, Dr. Lexa Woods, accomplished practiced lawyer, young up and coming head of the political science department seems to have her life together…until the new young art professor Clarke Griffin flips her world upside down.

Ending the (Prank) War by M_E_Scribbles [Mature] (Complete- 187,555 Words) {58/58 Chapters} **

The centuries old feud between the University of Polis and nearby Arkadia College has gone on long enough. When Clarke’s friends take the prank war too far she takes it upon herself to end it. She seeks out the illusive Heda, the president of the student body at Polis.

Before she has a chance to fully explain her side of things and propose an end to the pranks another nearby university takes aim at Arkadia, hoping to bring the school into its fold.

HOGWARTS/ WIZARDING WORLD

pills n potions (we’re overdosin’) by indragram [General Audiences] (Complete- 33,884 Words) {14/14 Chapters} ***

Clarke hates a lot of things, but most of all, she hates how she just had to be paired with such a stupid Ravenclaw know-it-all for every damn piece of work in this godforsaken dungeon.

The Magician’s Assistant by rhinomouse [Teen] (Complete- 107,653 Words) {26/26 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Muggle Magic Tricks series] *****

Clarke Griffin was not going to let the fight against pureblood prejudice her Father believed in die with him. No she was about to pull a true muggle magic trick that the wizarding world won’t soon forget and like the best muggle magic the most interesting part is beneath the surface. Now you see it now you don’t. (First one does not introduce Lexa, second one does: VERY SLOW BURN)

the sky itself will carry me (back to you) by alyciaclebnam [Teen] (Complete- 38,798 Words) {7/7 Chapters} *****

“By the way, how does that work? You coming here when I call. Do you just… pop in and out of existence, or something?”

“It’s like a magical tether,” Lexa explains, ostensibly hesitant. “When you say my name, I feel a pull - right here, in my chest,” she says, drawing a circle around the skin over her heart. “Which is strange in itself, seeing as I no longer possess a beating heart. I can’t explain it, but I feel compelled to be wherever you are.”

“So it’s not just me,” Clarke says slowly, a hopeful expression taking over her previous frown. “There’s something more to you and I, isn’t there?” (or: Clarke is a seventh year student. Lexa is one of the Hogwarts ghosts. There’s a connection between them that Clarke doesn’t understand, but she is determined to figure it out.)

Those Icy Fingers Up and Down My Spine (That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine) by DreamsAreMyWords [Mature] (Ongoing- 359,419 Words) {20/22 Chapters} *****

“Okay, well, the way I see it, you have two options. You can turn around and face the dragon again, or you can put on your big girl panties and go tell Blondie you’re in love with her. Your choice.” Lexa swallowed, wondering if the static crackling down her limbs and burning her fingertips was a lingering effect from riding the thestral or the feel of Clarke’s lips pressed to her own. She cleared her throat, staring back into Raven’s defiant gaze. “I think I will take the dragon,” she said firmly. Or: The Clexa Triwizard AU.

Spelling It Out by Geyranger [Mature] (Ongoing- 110,772 Words) {37/41 Chapters} ****

Clarke studied the twigs Lexa handed her for a second, holding them up to the light. Then she looked back up at Lexa. Earnest turned to mischief in her eyes.

“Thanks, Lexa. You’re a star.”

Then she disapparated with a loud bang, and Lexa was left staring into open air without a single twig. Or The HP AU where Clarke and Lexa are apprentices of competing wand makers, and are sent around the world to fetch materials for wand cores and somehow always manage to run into one another.

I wish I knew you before by toolateintheday [Mature] (Complete- 123,968 Words) {19/19 Chapters} *****

Clexa Hogwarts AU featuring all your favourite characters! Rated M for some language and possible sex in later chapters. Clarke is a Gryffindor and Lexa is a Slytherin, neither girl really likes the other but they are reluctantly thrown together in their fifth year at Hogwarts.

Forest green eyes pierced sky-blue ones and Clarke felt as though her stomach had dropped through the floor. If the braided hair and starch posture hadn’t given it away before now, those eyes were all the confirmation Clarke needed. Lexa Woods.

Fuck.

FANTASY/ MAGIC/ SUPERHERO/SUPERNATURAL

Princess of the Sky by fairytaleslayer [Teen] (Ongoing- 67,731 Words) {17 Chapters}  ****

The Riders disappeared over a century ago, and with them, their dragons. But Clarke is thrust into the middle of a political war she didn’t know existed when she comes across a strange blue stone in the middle of the forest and bonds with the first dragon to hatch in a hundred years.

After tragedy strikes, she’s bent on revenge, but even with her mission, Clarke can’t get the mysterious, imprisoned Elf woman she sees in her dreams out of her mind. Clarke knows everything depends on rescuing her, she just doesn’t know why. (TW: Mention of torture) 

do the stars gaze back by cassiniregio [Teen] (Complete- 36,721 Words) {5/5 Chapters}  [Part of the just a handful of stardust series] ***

If Lexa is to win the heart of her true love, she must bring back a fallen star. But she’s wholly unprepared for the star to be a beautiful girl named Clarke, or for the host of dangerous people out for star blood. In less than a day Clarke falls from the sky, gets run over by a pretty girl, almost gets her heart cut out and maybe gets accidentally kidnapped by pirates, and that’s just the start of her problems.

The Last Lyrian by TrikruCommander [Mature] (Ongoing- 48,747 Words) {19 Chapters} **

Lexa is the Last Lyrian, after her planet is destroyed.Clarke is the Hyadean entrusted with keeping Lexa safe.The problem is Lexa doesn’t know she’s not human, and she doesn’t know Clarke even exists.Can Clarke keep the girl she loves safe?

the tonic of wildness by KL_Morgan [General Audiences] (Complete- 4,103 Words) {Oneshot}  [Part of the incomplete the tonic of wildness series] *****

“Oh, I thought – because of the antlers –”

“Anuael is female.” Lexa lifts her hand and her daemon fits her head beneath it, carefully. Her fingers brush up against the velvety softness at each branch’s root, the sensitive spot where the antlers curl out of Anuael’s skull up into a proud six points. “The Commander’s daemon is always a hart.”

Silly Blue Costume by orphan_account [Teen] (Complete- 21,114 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ***

Clarke moves to Polis to work at the Daily Planet, a huge step up from the Ark Gazette. What she doesn’t expect is to fall for her partner, famous Investigative Reporter Lexa Woods, and to get caught up in a conspiracy involving one of the wealthiest citizens of Polis: the elusive Cage Wallace.

Mystic Coffee by blindwire [Mature] (Complete- 46,243 Words) {6/6 Chapters} *****

Lexa is 95% certain that the girl that comes into her coffee shop each morning is a witch. Whether it’s the tattoos that she swears move when she sees them out of the corner of her eye or the way the girl’s hair changes color if she looks long enough (not that she’s staring), Lexa is positive something strange is going on.

Skylark by RunawayMarbles [Mature] (Complete- 115,948 Words) {28/28 Chapters} ***

“And they don’t have superpowers. They are semi-successful experiments. Your people will not take any action against Sky Crew without my order: their code names are bad enough. I will not have Polis turn into some Gotham-esque battleground. Dismissed.”

“Uh, actually, Metropolis had more superpowers—”

“Dismissed.”

I Am Heda by Alexis_Payton [Mature] (Complete- 124,439 Words) {19/19 Chapters} *****

Clarke had expected to see many new and wonderful things on Earth. But nothing could’ve possibly prepared her for meeting the Heda of the Twelve Clans. A creature so powerful, so strange, so beautiful, that just the sight of her stole Clarke’s breath away.

My Soul Alight by AnonBeMe [Unrated] (Ongoing- 64,556 Words) {20 Chapters} **

“Am I in danger?” Clarke asks, feeling her heart in her throat.

“Not if you forget.” Lexa gives Clarke a greeting nod, a goodbye, before disappearing from the doorway.

OR

The AU in which Clarke, a doctor, treats a strange patient one night, and soon finds herself caught in a web of unexplainable events. The word magic seems implausible, but Clarke doesn’t know what else to call it. All Clarke wants is answers, damn it, and to reverse whatever is happening to her, so she stubbornly seeks out the strange woman – a leader of a land beyond invisible borders – who insists that the less Clarke knows the better. Clarke, however, is relentless and it comes with a price…

You, the Ocean, and Me by billet_doux [Mature] (Ongoing- 32,931 Words) {4 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin is dealing with the repercussions of the accident that took her father’s life. Octavia Blake is trying to find where in the world she fits in. Raven Reyes is trying to win the heart of an older woman. Lexa Woods is trying to help her friends when a mysterious event changes their lives forever.

Or;

Three girls, all in the wrong (right) place at the wrong (right) time, are bound together with a shared secret. They can only rely on one girl, an aspiring scientist, to help them figure out what has happened to them–and possibly find a way to turn them back.

Cobweb Hearts by DreamsAreMyWords [Mature] (Complete- 23,330 Words) {7/7 Chapters} ***

Lexa is a grumpy vampire, and Clarke's a mischievous fairy who loves getting under her skin. They're forced to become roommates for a month and they expect it's only going to end in fucking each other, killing each other, or both. They certainly don't expect to fall in love.

Hold Me Till the Stars Dim by ur_the_puppy [Teen] (Complete- 86,420 Words) {4/4 Chapters} [part of the ongoing Fallen series] ***

After Costia's tragic death, Lexa Woods still hasn't recovered. It has been months now, and though her friend's have let Lexa do what she wants for most of that time, they can't let her ignore them any more. The answer? A camping trip. And though seemingly innocent, things go bad. Violently bad. Fast.

or

a slightly different take on grounder clarke

home is wherever i'm with you by merricats_sugarbowl [Teen] (Complete- 65,737 Words) {19/19 Chapters} ***

It’s one thing to know that humans are adaptable. It’s another to see it happen, or to have it happen to you.

The thing is, when the dead rise from their graves, you get pretty damn good at adapting.

It's been months since the dead rose from their graves and society went to hell, and it's finally starting to take its toll on Clarke. When a radio broadcast reveals that there's safety at Mount Weather, she and her group immediately fix on it as the next step in their plan for survival.

Meanwhile, Lexa's carved out a good life for herself and her group at Camp Polis, but their safety is threatened by a rival group that constantly steals their supplies. Bringing Nia and her people to justice is Lexa's number one priority; that, and the ever-growing number of missing people who've sought help at Mount Weather and failed to return.

When Clarke and Lexa meet by chance, everything changes.

Atlantis by coeurastronaute [Mature] (Ongoing- 10,832 Words) {3 Chapters} ***

Lexa is the heir to the throne of Atlantis, forced to live her life by her father's rules. All of that changes when she finally has contact with land.

frostbite (and heartsickness) by hedahawkeye [Mature] (Ongoing- 40,626 Words) {17 Chapters} ****

The first time Clarke sees Lexa after she surrenders to SHIELD, she realizes that she can't distinctly remember Lexa before the war. Lexa before HYDRA, Lexa before Tsing, Lexa before injections and torture and hurt. The girl she knew in Washington, with scraped knees and bird-like limbs, with a grin on her face and a kid sister on her hip, blends in with recollections tainted by blood and ashes, by a soldier falling to her death and a berserker throwing a fist at her head.

[Winter Soldier AU]

SUMMER CAMP

Legends by aos_skimmons [Teen] (Complete- 63,546 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ****

“Who’s that?” Clarke asked.Octavia glanced in Clarke’s line of sight. 

“That is Lexa Woods.”

“Is she a daughter of Aphrodite too?”Octavia barked out a laugh and shook her head. Clarke felt her cheeks flush. 

“No. She’s a daughter of Athena.”

“Oh.” Clarke said, still blushing furiously.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about your crush on the devil.”A demi god au.

String Bracelets by rochke11 [Mature] (Complete- 36,013 Words) {13/13 Chapters}  ***

Growing up, Clarke, Lexa and Costia spent their summers as best friends at Camp Rothenberg, from when they were seven until they were fifteen. Now 19, Clarke and Lexa have returned to Camp Rothenberg as camp counselors, but it’s been three years since they last saw or spoke to each other. Both girls are haunted by the last summer they spent at camp together four years earlier and by the death of the girl who brought their trio together.Forced to spend the summer as counselors of rival cabins: The Grounders and Arkers, will Clarke and Lexa finally be able to reconcile, and will they finally forgive themselves and each other for what happened that summer four years earlier?

carousel of time. by vulpixgrrl [Unrated] (Complete- 21,745 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

they’ve hated each other every summer they can remember, rivals since first session. But they’re finally camp counselors and it’s a whole new battle field.

Cross-Rilvalry Romances - Summer Camp Style by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 73,704 Words) {24/24 Chapters}  ***

Clarke Griffin, Octavia and Bellamy Blake, Raven Reyes, Lexa Woods and many others are all at Camp Unite - a supposedly better-than-average summer camp where kids from different extra curriculars and interests all come together and… do summer camp stuff? Nevertheless, they’re there. The twist? None of them know each other, and turns out, this camp that’s all about uniting and forming a better community is pretty divided. Pretty easy to get caught up in divisions that have been around for years - until a certain couple of people start forming crushes that cross the line of division. Mostly a Clexa fic, with some lovely little secondary character romances popping up as well.

SOULMATE

Almost Three by fairytaleslayer [Teen] (Complete- 23,797 Words) {6/6 Chapters} ***

People age until they’re eighteen, and are then frozen in time until they meet their soul mate. After that, they grow old together. Plain and simple. That’s the deal. Only, in Clarke’s case, the universe doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo. Or Waiting over a century for your soul mate really fucking sucks.

Pinch Me by LeNoLifeLoser [Unrated] (Ongoing- 59,552 Words) {19 Chapters} ***

Abby inspected the girl, but nothing was there. No irritation, no bumps or bruises, there was no reason for pain. “Does it feel like you got hit?” Clarke nodded, letting out a whimper. Abby sighed, but then Clarke let out another yelp, hands flying to her cheek as tears streamed down anew. Then Abby understood. “That’s your soulmate.” She cooed, pulling her daughter into a hug. “Soulmate?” Wells piped up from beside her. Abby nodded, setting down again and letting Clarke curl into her lap. Wells hopped up beside them and turned to her expectantly. “You see, every person has someone very special out there in the world. This person is the person you’re meant for. They can be your best friend or your spouse or anyone, really. But there’s a connection between you and your special person. Every ounce of pain you feel, your special person feels too, and vice versa. It seems Clarke’s soulmate is a little clumsy huh?” Abby tried to goad Clarke into laughing. But the little girl was focused very hard, eyebrows scrunched together and pouting adorably. She stared off into the distance, completely still, except for the occasional hiccup. “I wanna help them.” She whispered stubbornly.

Look. Don’t Touch (for this will destroy us) by Naojinxd [Mature] (Complete- 108,445 Words) {10/10 Chapters} **

Clarke Griffin has held a secret for her entire life: whenever she looks at her reflection she doesn’t see her blonde, wavy hair or her deep blue eyes. She stares at a woman with long chestnut hair and cold, piercing green eyes. She never knew what it meant when she saw this woman looking back at her, until one day the woman in the mirror steps into her life and everything changes.

Or in a world where your reflection does not show you but your soulmate.

Your Heart On My Sleeve by aredpen [General Audiences] (Ongoing- 34,756 Words) {9 Chapters} ***

Carefully, Clarke managed an only slightly shaky 'C’, seeing the color settle brightly against her pale skin, before the teacher was calling for the class to put away the coloring supplies and Clarke quickly hid her wrist and looked up guiltily. No one said anything, though, and Clarke shoved the markers in the bin before holding her wrist gently against her stomach.

She tried not to look at everyone else’s wrists for the rest of the day. Tried not to see that no one had any green there. Not even the next day, or two days later, until finally she forgot to keep her wrist out of the water when she was washing and it faded away, just like the idea that her soulmate could be here somewhere.

Soulmates are rare. Even more so now that ink is being rationed on the Ark and permanent identifying tattoos are no longer allowed. Distance has never been an obstacle before, though. Not even between the ground and the sky.

[hedaswolf]

part 18 of the clexa eleven au (aka christmas part 1!)

Snow has always been a nuisance to you. At your previous foster homes, snow made it more difficult to walk to school and feel your toes, no matter how many socks you wore.

Not to mention that every so often it snowed so much that school would get canceled, and you’d have to stay home in a drafty house with a crabby foster parent who had to take time off work to watch you.

But here everything has a tinge of magic to it, and snow is suddenly wonderful.

December has been particularly chilly, but you don’t mind. The lake froze over earlier than ever, Lexa told you on the night before you went skating for the first time in your life. You learned so much that day, like that Lexa played hockey in high school, and that Clarke can’t stay on her feet on the ice even in sneakers.

Clarke let you borrow her white figure skates, which looked barely worn. They were a bit big on you but Lexa laced them up real tight so your ankles wouldn’t wobble. Clarke broke out into applause when you took your first tentative step onto the ice and you felt exceptionally proud.

(There was just something about wearing something of your Ma’s while learning something from your Mum that made the world shift, but in a good way. Like it was all slowly clicking into place.)

It was early still and some teenagers were shoveling last night’s snowfall to clear off more fresh ice, but Lexa led you to a smaller area -- already cleared -- where a few younger kids were skating. Some of them were pushing around milk crates to help them keep their balance. Lexa glanced at the spare crates on the edge of the lake and lifted her eyebrows in question. You shook your head and she smiled.

You took another step on the ice and you felt like that baby deer in one of Clarke’s movies, teetering as it stood for the first time. You remembered what Lexa told you and dug the edges of the blades into the ice and leaned forward. Once you were steady Lexa grabbed your mittened hands in hers.

At first she skated backwards and just pulled you along, letting you get a feel for the ice gliding underfoot. She took wide laps around the shoveled-off section, steering clear of the little kids, and Clarke cheered every time you passed by her on the bank.

(Later Clarke would show you the photos she took and point out how you and Lexa looked so alike, with your knit hats and rosy cheeks and gleeful smiles.)

The first time you tried to skate without holding Lexa’s hands you fell. And you fell a bunch more after that. But each time you took a few more steps before you went down, and then Lexa taught you how to turn those steps into glides, and at some point, without even realizing it, you went from trying to skate to just skating.

When you completed a lap all on your own Clarke tossed two celebratory fistfuls of snow into the air and Lexa spun in a circle, just like the figure skaters on TV, even though she was in hockey skates. You laughed, and then you fell, and then you laughed some more.

You didn’t even realize your knees were bruised until you sunk into a steaming hot bath that night.

***

Two days before Christmas it snows so much that the city decides to cancel school until after the holiday break. And you’re thrilled.

It’s not that you don’t like school. You love it, actually. It’s just that it’s so hard to concentrate on your worksheets when there’s a Christmas tree at home with a pile of presents beneath it that seems to grow larger each day.

(Clarke won the tree argument, in the end, and you bought one from the band kids’ fundraiser in the high school parking lot. Lexa made her pinky promise you’d cut down a real one next year and Clarke kissed her pouty bottom lip.)

Your presents for Clarke and Lexa are all ready to go, though they’re not beneath the tree. As soon as you wrapped them you slid them under your bed, right where you hid your shoebox of food all those months ago.

Sometimes you sit on the carpet, lift the dust ruffle, and contemplate the neatly wrapped gifts. It’s weird to think about what you were like when you first came here. When you talked about it with your therapist last week you said it was like you were a half-inflated balloon that didn’t know you were half-inflated. All your life you were hardly getting off the ground while the other kids soared on by.

You’re still not quite like the others, and maybe you never will be. But your life feels fuller and lighter than it ever has. Than you ever knew it could.

Back when you hid scraps of food under your bed you thought going hungry was the worst thing. If only you’d known the worst part of your life had already ended.

If only you’d known that the worst thing in this world is a scarcity of love.

(Your therapist says ignorance is bliss, but you think it’s self preservation.)

(Your therapist also says it’s normal to worry your balloon will pop.)

(He suggests you talk to your moms about it.)

(You don’t.)

***

The day before Christmas Eve you’re on the front lawn trying and failing to build a snowman. You and Lily made an awesome one in her yard last week, but she’s in Florida visiting her grandparents and you can’t lift the ball meant to be the snowman’s head on your own.

You get it about halfway there when it slips from your grasp and splits into pieces once it hits the ground. It’s just snow, but your frustration boils over and you stomp on the base of the snowman until it’s powder.

Today is just not your day.

Back in the group home, Mike called them your “dark days.” You’re pretty even-keeled, but sometimes all of your anger and frustration reached a tipping point and your whole body would get taut with fury.

The other kids knew to steer clear of you on the days you stomped around with your hands balled up into fists. Once your anger even induced a nosebleed.

But today isn’t really a dark day. You don’t have that kind of anger any more. It’s just that after a string of so many fantastic days this one is just mediocre, and on some level that’s upsetting, too.

It all started this morning when you were playing with Waffles and he got his claw stuck in your new tights. The hole quickly frayed into something Lexa called a “run” and now you don’t have any tights to wear with your Christmas dress.

Making matters worse is the fact that Clarke has been super noisy all day. The phone keeps ringing with early holiday well-wishers and her phone voice is extra loud, especially when she’s talking to her college friends, which she did for over an hour.

And that’s not the only noise getting on your nerves. Clarke and Lexa have been baking since this morning, getting a jump-start on Christmas treats, and the clattering of pots and pans has been constant.

You know your moms aren’t annoying you on purpose. You know that. But it all made your brain feel kinda overloaded -- like you want to jump out of your skin -- so you went outside to play in the snow to get a break from it.

So of course your snowman didn’t work out. Nothing is going right today.

You try to pull yourself together when you hear the door creak open before Lexa comes out all bundled up.

“Hey,” she says, tentatively. She waves a mittened-hand, not straying from the walkway. “I’m going to the store. Want to come?”

“No thanks.”

She bites her lip and looks at the pile of snow next to you -- the one covered in bootprints -- but doesn’t mention it.

“Are you warm enough?”

“Yep.”

You feel bad for being short with her, but it’s like you can’t help yourself. You look down at your boots because you’re afraid to see the hurt expression that very well may be on her face.

“Okay,” she says after a beat. “I’ll be back soon.”

Not long after the car pulls out of the driveway you hear footsteps crunching along the sidewalk and almost groan. You perk up a little when you see it’s Maya, who has a bulky red shovel slung over one shoulder.

“Hey Eleven! Looks like you’ve got the potential for a pretty sweet igloo,” she says, nodding at the pile of snow. “Need some help?”

An igloo. You can’t help but snicker to yourself -- it’s like winter’s version of making lemons out of lemonade.

“Sure!” You wave her over. “What’s with the shovel?”

“I was clearing a path for Harry to get to his car tomorrow. He visits his son every Christmas Eve.”

In no time Maya helps you turn your snowman failure pile into a giant, heaping mound. It’s a little taller than you when she deems it ready to be dug out. The two of you kneel at the base and begin scooping out snow with your hands. Maya hums to herself but otherwise you work quietly beside one another, and the repetitive motion starts to soothe your nerves.

Lexa comes home with a shopping bag a little while later, but you just keep scooping away snow while she exchanges pleasantries with Maya. You feel a lot calmer now, but the sun is quickly setting and you want to finish before it’s time for dinner. You’ve never been in an igloo before, but you bet it’s nice and quiet in there, and that thought spurs you on.

The sun is just barely peeking out above the trees by the time the hollowed-out space is big enough for you and Maya to squeeze inside.

You were right -- it is quiet in here. Warmer too, somehow. You slouch against the wall right next to Maya, and even though you’re in a snow fort you feel so grown up.

The shadows grow longer as the two of you chat. Maya tells you about a book she’s reading for AP English. Like you, she has an affinity for the written word. She’s telling you about her dream of majoring in creative writing in college when you hear a door open.

“El?” Clarke calls.

Maya pauses mid-sentence, waiting for you to reply, but you keep quiet. She quirks an eyebrow at you and you just shrug, focusing on dusting snow off your boots.

“Eleven?” Clarke says, louder this time. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

It sounds like she’s standing at the side door by the kitchen. You wonder if she can see the igloo from there.

“I should be getting home for dinner, too,” Maya says, motioning toward the exit. “You first -- it’ll probably be easier for me to crawl out after.”

The scowl that grows on your face feels foreign after all this time. You don’t want to leave the igloo. You don’t want to say goodbye to Maya. And, most of all, you don’t want to go back into that noisy house.

You know you’re being immature and irrational and a slew of other things, but you can’t help it. You don’t budge.

Maya asks you if you’re okay at the same time you hear Clarke’s familiar footsteps coming down the walkway.

“El? You out here?” she calls, an edge of worry in her voice. And just like that, your annoyance turns to guilt.

By the time Clarke’s legs come into view there’s a lump in your throat. The laces on her boots are undone, and something about that makes your eyes sting.

“We’re in here, Clarke,” Maya says, squeezing past you. You take in a shaky breath and follow her out, keeping your eyes cast down. “Well, I better get going,” Maya continues. “Have a great Christmas! Bye, Eleven.”

You glance at her as you whisper goodbye and you wish you hadn’t because you see that Clarke doesn’t have a coat on. She’s shivering, arms wrapped around herself, and it’s all your fault.

“Let’s go inside,” she says before turning on her heel and striding back toward the house.

You follow, instinctive dread building in your gut. Nothing good comes of disobedience. It’s a lesson you’ve learned over and over again -- one you thought you’d learned for the last time. You’ve never gone against Clarke or Lexa before. You’ve never been tempted -- not even when they made you go to the doctor. With them it’s like even if they’re asking you to do something you’d rather not, you know they have your best interest at heart.

And you had to go and ruin it with your stubbornness.

The smoke detector goes off right as you walk in. Clarke swears -- something she never does (at least not in front of you) -- and rushes to the stove.

“Lex, will you take out the batteries?” she calls over her shoulder.

Lexa’s rushing footsteps sound on the stairs as Clarke tosses a pan into the sink, and your brain starts to feel scrambled again. You cover your ears with your hands and stomp over to your seat at the kitchen table, not caring that you’re tracking snow across the tiles.

When the alarm finally stops you slouch against the chair, pressing the heels of your palms to your eyes.

You hear Lexa walk into the kitchen. She doesn’t say a word but you can imagine her taking in the scene -- you sulking at the table, Clarke frazzled by the stove. Her eyes would find Clarke’s, like they always do, and Clarke would just shrug, maybe shake her head.

Clarke sighs, as if on cue. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open your eyes.

Lexa’s standing by the fridge, looking between the two of you. Clarke glances up at the ceiling and takes a steadying breath before turning her gaze on you.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

It’s the last thing you were expecting. In a way it stings more than any cruel words that have ever been lobbed at you. Because of you there are goosebumps on Clarke’s arms, dinner is a burnt mess in the sink, and there are dingy boot prints tracked across the floor.

All of that, and she’s worried about you.

You bite your wobbly bottom lip and nod. Clarke looks you over as if to make sure, then turns away, running a hand through her hair.

“Did you hear me calling you?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Why didn’t you answer?” Her voice sounds strained -- like it’s taking all her effort to keep it even.

All of the reasons feel so far away now. You shrug. “I’m having a bad day.”

Clarke looks over to Lexa with a stitch between her brows. “The chicken’s burnt.”

When Lexa crosses the distance between them and places a comforting hand on Clarke’s back, it’s like you can actually see how much stronger they are together. They’re a unit, through and through. And for the first time you feel like you’re on the outside of it.

“Why don’t we take a breather,” Lexa says. “Eleven, please change into your pajamas and come back downstairs. I’ll whip up something else for dinner and we’ll discuss this when it’s done.”

You slip off your boots and place them where they’re supposed to go, on the rug by the kitchen door. That’s when you notice a new pair of sparkly gold tights -- identical to the ones Waffles ripped -- sitting in a shopping bag on the counter. Lexa must have bought them for you at the store.

You walk upstairs with your head hanging. You change into your PJs and try not to think about how Lexa’s voice sounded when she called you by your full name.

When you’re done you sit at the top of the stairs and listen to them moving about in the kitchen. Every so often they exchange a few hushed words, but mostly you hear the sounds of cooking. You cringe when someone drops a lid onto a pot and you’re reminded of why your bad mood escalated.

Now you understand what Mike meant when he said you needed to learn how to get out of your own way.

So you pad downstairs and decide that’s exactly what you’ll do.

“I got upset when Waffles ripped my tights,” you blurt before you even cross the threshold to the kitchen. “Then it was really noisy in the house, and sometimes noise bothers me a lot. I went outside to calm down and couldn’t make a snowman on my own, so I stomped on it. Building the igloo with Maya helped me calm down, so when Ma said it was time for dinner I ignored her because I was happy outside.”

You take a deep breath and venture a glance at your moms. Any other time you would laugh -- they’re standing there frozen, Lexa mid-stir at the stove and Clarke partway through setting the table. Lexa nods at you, and you find the strength to continue.

“I should have just told you how I was feeling,” you say. “And I should have listened when you called. I’m sorry. I understand if you have to punish me.”

Clarke flinches at that last part. She crosses to where you’re standing and pulls you into a tight hug.

“Apology accepted,” she says. “And no one’s punishing anyone. This is a learning opportunity, okay?” She steps back and takes your face in her hands, and you nod as best you can. “Good. Let’s talk it out over mac and cheese.”

Your nerves settle as you help Clarke finish setting the table. Lexa squeezes your shoulder when you pass her to get the napkins, and you don’t feel outside of them anymore.

“So, El, let’s discuss what we could have done differently today,” Lexa says, scooping macaroni into your bowl. She sounds kinda awkward, like she’s reading from a script, but she’s calling you El again so you don’t mind.

“I’ll start,” she says. “We should’ve been more mindful of how loud we were. We know that bothers you sometimes, and should have been more aware.”

“Especially me,” Clarke says, smiling at you. “Octavia always said I should come with a mute button.”

You surprise yourself when you laugh, and Clarke and Lexa chuckle, too. Lexa takes her seat, having filled everyone’s bowls, and they both dig in. You push your noodles around with your fork, appreciating the time they’re giving you to gather your thoughts.

“I should have told you that I needed to be somewhere quiet,” you say after a moment. “Maybe I could have gone to visit Mrs. Mitchell.”

“Going outside was a good idea,” Lexa offers. “It’s just too bad you had trouble with the snowman. I would’ve helped.”

“I know.” Your chin drifts toward your chest as you remember Lexa looking at you and your failed snowman from the walkway. You should’ve spoken up then.

“Hey,” Clarke says, and you snap out of it. “Learning opportunity, remember? You’re not in trouble.”

Your eyes well up with hot, fat tears. “I should be,” you whisper. “I wasn’t good.”

Clarke puts her fork down and reaches across the table to cover your hand with hers.

“No one can be good all the time, kiddo. But you always try your best, and that’s why we love you.”

You glance between her and Lexa, fighting the quiver in your bottom lip. You think of over-inflated balloons and Dr. Kapoor’s advice.

“What would make you stop?” you ask.

Clarke’s brow furrows. “Stop what?”

Instead of answering you turn to Lexa, and you can see that she understands. She swallows thickly before she speaks. “What would make us stop loving her.”

Clarke’s jaw falls open as you nod in confirmation. She closes her eyes for three long seconds. When she opens them she crosses her arms and leans back in her chair, arching an eyebrow at you.

“Try us,” she says.

Lexa smiles at her in that way she does sometimes, like she could just melt, and you giggle around the lump in your throat.

“What if I punch Jimmy again?”

“Been there, still love you,” Clarke says.

“If I get kicked out of school?”

Lexa grins. “Wouldn’t even make a dent in how much we love you.”

“What if I run away?”

“We’d track you down.” Clarke squeezes your hand. “We’d go to the ends of the Earth.”

“And we’d love you even then,” Lexa says.

You push your chair away from the table so abruptly they startle, but they’re both standing by the time you make it around to them. You take their hands and look into their faces for a moment. They’re closer to you than they used to be -- you’ve grown over an inch in the time you’ve been here. It’s as if their love is nourishing your body as well as your soul.

“I don’t deserve you,” you say quietly. It’s a thought that’s been running through your mind since your first day here, and it’s a relief to finally say it.

Clarke bends and presses her forehead to yours.

“You’re wrong.”

You shake your head against hers, the tears you’ve been holding back all day finally streaming down your cheeks.

“I’m not,” you choke out. “My mom didn’t want me. My dad hated me. And to all my other foster parents I was just a bother.”

“They were wrong, too,” Lexa says, voice thick with emotion. “All of them. God, If I ever see any of th-”

Clarke shushes her and presses a kiss to her temple. You smooth your thumb over Lexa’s knuckles and watch as Clarke’s touch eases the tension in her jaw.

“I think we should give Eleven one of her presents early,” Clarke says softly.

Lexa’s eyes widen. She looks down at you, then back at Clarke, and nods, like she’s found the answer in your faces. She reaches up to swipe her thumb over Clarke’s cheek and, you can’t be sure, but you think she’s wiping away a tear.

***

You leave the three bowls of barely touched mac and cheese on the kitchen table and relocate to the living room. Lexa turns on the lamp next to the couch but leaves the overhead light off, so the only other source of illumination is the multi-colored lights strung around the Christmas tree.

Clarke grabs a neatly wrapped, rectangular present from beneath the tree and the three of you snuggle in on the sofa with you in the middle. Waffles trots in and bats at a few of the low-hanging ornaments until you tell him off. Instead of running away to sulk like he normally does when scolded he curls up on the armchair, purring and looking at the three of you.

You hope he knows nothing he does would make you stop loving him.

Beside you, Clarke takes a deep breath and you feel Lexa’s arm reach behind you to cup the back of her neck.

Suddenly you feel nervous.

Abby told you that their family tradition was to open presents to each other on Christmas Eve so that Christmas Day would be all about gifts from Santa. You and Lexa had liked the sound of that, and the three of you decided to carry on the Griffin family tradition.

And Christmas Eve is tomorrow night. What could be so important that it can’t wait?

Clarke places the gift in your lap and for a fleeting moment you wonder if it’s a pet -- maybe another kitten -- that would be hungry if it stayed wrapped for that long. You feel silly for even thinking it when you realize the gift is too small, not to mention that Clarke and Lexa wouldn’t do that to an animal.

“So, we were…” Clarke starts, but her voice cracks and she stops.

Lexa reaches across you and takes Clarke’s hand, squeezing so hard their knuckles turn white. It reminds you of the time the social worker came to your house after the incident with Jimmy -- when you saw them holding hands under the kitchen table -- and your stomach lurches.

What if the gift’s something bad, and they’re using Christmas to soften the blow? You trace the edges of the present with your fingers. It’s about the size of a book, shallow with sharp corners.

It could be a picture frame. Something to remember them by.

You’re trembling when you take their joint hands and place them on your knees. Everything inside of you wants to stay silent, but if you learned anything today it’s that nothing good comes of keeping things bottled up.

“I’m scared,” you say.

“Oh shoot, sorry,” Clarke says, voice still wobbly. She kisses the top of your head and you relax a bit.

“We’re just excited,” Lexa says. “We were going to save this for tomorrow night, but after today we didn’t want to wait.”

You frown, keeping your eyes on the elves dancing across the wrapping paper. After today? The first day you ever did anything to upset them? As far as you’re concerned your moms promising they’ll always love you -- no matter what -- is the biggest gift you’ll ever receive in your whole life.

All that, and they want to give you even more?

“Whenever you’re ready,” Clarke says.

You don’t think you’ll ever be ready, but you don’t want to keep them waiting, so you flip the present over to get at the tape. You unwrap it carefully, like you do with wrapping paper you want to save. In this case it’s not necessary -- there are loads of other gifts wrapped in the same paper under the tree -- but the movements are calming, and it feels like a ritual.

(You work a little faster when Clarke starts to bounce her leg.)

Once you slip the paper off, your first feeling is relief that it’s not a picture frame.

It’s a sketchbook. Similar to the ones you and Clarke use, but fancier. This one is white, hardbound, and covered in a clear plastic sleeve, like a library book.

“Psst, it’s backwards,” Lexa says, and you realize the binding is on the right.

You flip it around.

You’re such a weird mix of anxious and excited that when you finally lay eyes on the front cover it’s hard to take in. It’s a drawing by Clarke -- that much you’re sure. But you can’t discern what the subject is.

Everything is in fragments.

Your walkie-talkie is near the center. The frilly hem of a pink dress is off to the right. The tips of your yellow keds are peeking out from the bottom left corner, with a few glittery barrettes scattered above them. And a furry black tail hangs down from the top.

You cover your mouth when it hits you -- it looks like the floor of your bedroom before you’ve tidied up.

Now that you’ve worked that out you notice the writing, done in Lexa’s neat script.

“The Story of Us,” it reads in large block letters. Then, in smaller writing below it, “by your Mum and Mama.”

Clarke and Lexa are practically sitting on the edge of the cushion, so you lean back to look at both of them, grinning so wide you can hardly stand it.

“You… you made me a book?”

“That we did,” Clarke says.

“Want to read it now?” Lexa asks with so much hope in her eyes you can’t imagine saying no.

Not that you’d want to. You can’t believe they made you something. No one has ever done that for you. Well, aside from Mike, but that was only because he couldn’t afford to buy anything. You run your fingers over the plastic protecting the drawing and imagine them working on this after you were in bed. If it’s possible, you smile even harder.

“Of course,” you say, flipping to the first page. There’s a drawing on this one, too, but you focus on the text.

Once upon a time two girls named Clarke and Lexa met on a kickball field. They immediately became sworn enemies… until they fell in love.

You try to smother a giggle as you take in the illustration. It’s in panels -- like a comic book -- showing Lexa hitting Clarke with a kickball, Clarke hitting her back, and the two of them sitting side-by-side in a dorm room with little cartoon hearts floating above their heads.

Your moms scoot in closer as you turn the page.

After they graduated from college, they moved into the smallest apartment in existence. But they had each other and were very happy. Then, one day Lexa told Clarke the one thing that would make her even happier.

You lean into Lexa’s side as you take in the drawing on this page. It shows a little room that has a bed, sofa, and kitchen inside of it, which seems very silly. Your moms are lounging in the bed, smiling at each other and covered to their chins with a fluffy white duvet.

A little word bubble above Lexa says, “I want to be a foster mom…”

For some reason goosebumps sprout on your arms. You turn your head to kiss Lexa’s shoulder before flipping to the next page.

They knew they couldn’t raise a child in their tiny apartment, so they started saving as much money as they could. It took them several years, but one day they were able to buy a little blue house, right down the street from a lake.

They were finally ready.

This illustration, of course, is of the house you’re in now. Clarke’s mowing the lawn and Lexa’s planting rose bushes by the front door. (You’d just assumed they’ve always been there.)

Your heart beats a little faster as you turn to the next page, because you know what’s coming.

Not long later, a little girl in a pink dress stepped out of a social worker’s car. She had short hair and a sweet smile. Her name was Eleven.

Here Clarke has drawn a portrait of you. Well, a version of you -- the you who was trying so very hard not to get her hopes up. You’d felt sorta miserable, back then, but you wouldn’t know it from Clarke’s depiction. Your hair is short and you’re wearing that itchy pink dress, but Clarke has somehow made you look beautiful.

You want to thank her, but you’re worried if you look at her you’ll start crying, so you settle for resting your head on her shoulder. Slowly, you turn the page.

It didn’t take long to see that Eleven fit right in with Clarke and Lexa. She was smart and kind and had a talent for art. She loved to eat waffles and wear pretty dresses.

She was even a hit with animals -- one day a kitten followed her home and decided to stay. And Clarke and Lexa’s little family grew a bit bigger.

This drawing looks just like a photo you took on Clarke’s phone a couple days after Waffles followed you home. He’s sitting on the tiled floor in the kitchen, licking his left paw. The bottoms of Clarke and Lexa’s legs are out of focus in the background. You can’t tell in the photo, or the drawing, but you remember that their arms were around each other.

The next few pages show the three of you growing together. It’s so fun to see Clarke’s depictions of some of your favorite times as a family -- trick-or-treating and dancing at Lincoln and Octavia’s wedding and spending lazy mornings cuddling in bed.

Every couple of pages you have to stop and pretend you’re taking in the illustration as you try to wrangle your emotions. You’re just so utterly touched. You’ve known your life with your moms has been all kinds of wonderful, but now that they’ve turned it into something tangible it feels unbearably precious. It’s like their present isn’t a book -- it’s your time with them.

You flip to one of the last pages when Clarke stiffens beside you and Lexa takes in a sharp breath.

You see, Eleven made Clarke and Lexa’s lives brighter than they could have ever imagined. They wished it hadn’t taken them so long to find her, but they’re so glad that they did.

And now it’s time for them to live happily ever after…

The next page has no words -- just a family portrait. And you can tell Clarke spent a lot of time on it. The three of you are standing together with you in the middle. Your arms are looped around each other and Waffles sits at your feet.

But this picture is different from the others. Your hair is long -- down past your shoulders -- and you’re as tall as Clarke. When you look closely, you see that there are wrinkles beside Clarke’s eyes and streaks of gray in Lexa’s hair. Even Waffles looks older.

You hold your breath as you turn to the last page.

This one is the opposite of the last. It has no drawing -- only words.

At first you feel nothing. Or maybe you’re in shock.

You read them again and your skin flashes hot, then cold. Comforting arms wrap around you and you’re grateful, because you’re starting to feel dizzy.

You’re breathing really heavily, like you’ve been running laps, but you make yourself read the page one more time because it doesn’t seem real.

It can’t be. It’s too much to hope for.

El, we love you more than you will ever know. And we want you in our family forever.

Can we adopt you?

Your world narrows to a pinpoint, and then it’s blown wide. You cover your face with your hands, but the book in your lap teeters and you rush to catch it.

“Shh, it’s okay, kiddo, just breathe,” Clarke says, rubbing your back.

You look up at her through bleary eyes, confused until you take in a shallow, shuddering breath and your whole body trembles with it. It takes a few tries for you to get the words out, but you have to ask.

“Really?”

Lexa kisses your cheek, then your temple. It sounds like she’s crying, too.

“Really,” she says.

Clarke sniffles and clears her throat. “Only if you want,” she says. “If you’re ready.”

You burst into tears again, not that you ever really stopped.

They want you.

They want you forever.

All you can do is nod, and for the first time it’s not because words escape you. There’s so much you want to say -- so much you want to tell them -- that your brain can’t decide what gets priority.

Your moms hug you from both sides and the three of you collapse against the back of the couch in a soggy, happy heap. The first words that find their way out of your mouth are soft and sure.

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”