#i have 9 wives

[yanderespamton78]

The Guy

ough sorry for low quality image and pooey colours GOD my drawing tablet it brighter DAMN so we are going to pretend the colours are bright

based off of this

also @voidshrubsquared i most definitely would have forgotten to make this if you didnt reblog my post so here

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

i dont go on tiktok too often since I know my brain does the time blind, someone fucking tell me why my algo is serving me up doomed boston yaoi (damon/affleck) like the fuck

[cj-kenobi]

🌘...And I shine only with the light you gave me ☀️

(click for better quality)

[violetstrations]

[ID: two digital paintings of Nijisanji-EN'S Ver Vermillion and Cer Cerulean. The first takes place inside a forest during the day. They are both noticeably young. Cer sits on the left side of a log as he adjusts Ver's long hair, who is sitting on the ground in front of Cer, holding his knees to his chest. The artist's watermark is to the left of them. The second takes place long after the first one. The sun is setting. Ver curls into himself on the right side of the log, with a knife by his left. On the other end of the log is his red necklace, glowing. Surrounding him are chopped-off locks of his hair. The artist's watermark is by the necklace. End ID]

bundle up darling, you've made this bed, now

sleep in it soundly if you can

[safeshipharbored-daily]

No, I'm long gone (Long gone)

Song: Can't Have It All

Lines: 2/32 - Words: 14/212

[crimeronan]

i think the end of ep 7 plot twist in severance just got me harder than any plot twist in any media has since like..... the first season of htgawm.

[eats-the-stars]

feeling pretty frustrated lately. i feel like my sister is in a "eat your cake and have it too" situation that is making me kind of resentful.

living situation is this: our dad, me, my sister, her boyfriend, their two kids (2 and 5).

the problem is that I think my sister is, without any malicious intent, using me as a replacement parent to her kids. because her boyfriend does jack shit and gets away with it because I'M picking up the slack.

he's not a bread-winner or a stay-at-home dad. he makes basically no money at his "hobby-job" as a martial arts instructor. like, barely breaks even, which i know because my sister does his taxes (and everything else). he does TWO chores. puts away clean laundry and unloads the dishwasher. he also watches the 2yo for a few hours 5 days a week. like 2-4 hours tops. nothing else.

i work Friday/Sat/Sun, sister is home sat/sun, and on Fridays, or if i work a Wednesday, he takes the 2yo to his mom's place so she can watch him.

in comparison, I watch the 2yo 4 days a week from the moment i wake up until my sister gets home at 4pm with the 5yo.

I do mealtimes, bath-times, brushing teeth, homework, bed-times, doctor/dentist appointments, outings, play-times and also contribute to rent, get groceries for the kids and my sister, cook for them (sister also buys groceries and cooks, boyfriend does not), and clean. with 2 toddlers the cleaning is intense and constant. especially in the kitchen. i'm sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing, washing dishes, preparing meals, doing a ton of other random cleaning like wiping countertops, scrubbing down the stovetop, taking out the trash, crushing cans. you know, the stuff you do when you live somewhere.

my sister works as hard as i do. both in terms of making money at her job (I have two jobs, she has one, both with comparable pay). she cooks and cleans.

my issue is that her slacker boyfriend is doing jack shit and living the easy life on the back of the work I'M doing to raise his fucking kids. it's a hard place, because I love my nephews and I'm happy to get to make lunches and help with homework and play in the bath and the backyard and take them to the apple orchard and grocery shopping and play hide and seek and color and read them bed-time stories. it's amazing. BUT. it's also incredibly galling to see him sitting pretty with the title Dad and no effort put in to back it up.

Like, I do all this work, every day, because I love my nephews. I want to make them scrambled eggs and pancakes and keep them clean and happy and healthy. So I'm DOING things to feed them and clean them and make them happy.

He's just sitting on his ass occasionally changing a diaper and making sure they don't totally trash the house and does two chores. And that's it. Done. And somehow that's enough? Everyone else is fine with this?

Slowly losing my mind. Also pissed that my sister is too spineless to either force him to step up, or kick him out. But it makes sense, because the easiest option for her is to do nothing.

She gets me playing the role of Parent #2, and she gets to keep her boyfriend around and avoid the drama of a breakup or the effort of forcing him to do more.

The only one losing out here is me.

But it's hard because I love my nephews and I'll probably never have kids of my own. I would be perfectly fine stepping up to be Parent #2 for my nephews...if Parent #2 wasn't already right here doing fuck all with no pressure to step up his game.

I might need to have another serious talk with my sister about this (I had one before and she said she would make him do more, but "more" just seems to be...not a lot, so...).

If she does nothing, though, I'll just continue being cold to this waste of space and hope that the best reward will be his own fucking kids loving their Auntie more than him. Fingers crossed they get older and think back and realize he was all talk and no action.

Helps that he hates going on any kind of trips with the kids, so he literally hasn't even been there for like 85% of our family outings.

Also one of my nephews has apraxia that makes him incapable of speech, so he uses an AAC device and also ASL, but guess who isn't bothering to learn any sign language? Ding-ding! You are correct, deadbeat dad! all he knows are a handful of simple signs that would be really hard to avoid learning when u live w/someone who signs.

So yeah, sit there jamming out on the couch and sweet-talking my sis all you want, douchebag. I don't know if your kids will hate you for being "just some guy" who also lived in the same house, but they sure won't love you as much as they love me.

[ananxiousgenz]

update: i am totally fine and normal about this album! <- was personally called out by at least 3 songs on the album and is playing the whole thing on repeat again

NEW CRANE WIVES ALBUM DROPPED ITS TIME FOR ME TO GO INSANE

[contact-guy]

helloooo this is a MASTER POST of my Sherlock Holmes annotations, aka shitpost doodles of my favorite parts with occasional headcanons. I will pin this so it's available and update it as I go because this feels like it's becoming a full series, god help me.

I'm reading the stories in the order they occurred (according to Baring-Gould, who I am currently arm wrestling in the astral plane over how many wives Watson had) so that's how I will present them!

EDIT: decided to draw them in the order that makes sense to me, Baring-Gould you’re too silly

EDIT 2: this is basically a webcomic at this point, with ongoing continuity and a romantic storyline that can be enjoyed if you read in order. I did not intend this, but I have Sherlock Holmes disease and there's only one cure (doing this)

EDIT 3: content warning/advertisement depending on your temperament: this series gets into one of my big interests, historical queerness, period accurate homophobia, and how laws around queerness affected lived experience. it also has things that you can expect from a Sherlock Holmes story like: drug use involving needles, violence, flagrant use of old timey guns, and people dying in shocking and mysterious ways!

Copies of Volume 1 can be purchased here - preorders open on MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11, at 9:00am PST/12:00 noon EST/5:00pm GMT.

A Study in Scarlet 🩸

The Speckled Band 🐍

The Resident Patient 🩺

The Noble Bachelor 👰

The Second Stain 📮

The Reigate Squires 📝

The Dancing Men 👯‍♂️

Silver Blaze 🏇🏻

The Six Napoleons ⚫️

The Red Circle 🕯️🪟

The Greek Interpreter 🩹

Mycroft Interlude 🎩

The Beryl Coronet 🥪

The Yellow Face 🙂

The Hound of the Baskervilles 🐺

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

-Part Six

-Part Seven

The Gloria Scott ⚓️

The Valley of Fear 🏰

-Part One

-Part Two

Shoscombe Old Place 🎣

Charles Augustus Milverton 💌

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

The Copper Beeches ✂️

-Part One

-Part Two

The Sign of the Four 💉

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

-Part Five

-Illustration

-Part Six

-Part Seven

The Cardboard Box 📦👂🏻

Second Interlude 💒

A Scandal In Bohemia 💃

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

The Stockbrokers Clerk 🦷

The Engineer’s Thumb 👍🏻

The Crooked Man 🦝

The Naval Treaty 🌹

The Five Orange Pips 🍊

The Man With The Twisted Lip 🧽

-Part One

-Part Two

The Boscombe Valley Mystery 🪨

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

The Dying Detective 🦪

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

Christmas Eve, 1890 🎄

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

The Blue Carbuncle 🪿💎

-Part One

-Part Two

-Part Three

-Part Four

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

middle aged men workplace simulator

coworker 1: i can't believe you haven't watched the classic 1978 film Dr Chimp And The Chunglefucks

coworker 2: does anyone remember that hot blonde news reporter from 2004

coworker 3: guys i'm honestly not sure if i can salvage my marriage

coworker 4: 🎵 red red wiiine 🍷stay close to meee🎵

coworker 5: [ebay link to a 90s arcade machine] do you remember how we used to run

coworker 6: what do you mean you haven't watched that classic 80s film about [most racist premise you've ever heard in your life]

coworker 7: [extremely longwinded anecdote you've already heard twice before]

coworker 8: HA... you think your job is bad? one time a customer chased me with a knife

coworker 9: oh shut up mate that was just a vegetable peeler

coworker 10: PTA meeting tomorrow 😬

coworker 11: jeremy my love let's leave our wives and run away together just like we've always dreamed

coworker 12: fuck off simon i know you just want me for my body

coworker 13: kids these days and their iPads... when i was a youngster me and my friends used to shoot each other. yeah with guns

coworker 7: [extremely longwinded anecdote you're now hearing for the fourth time]

coworker 14: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS FUNNY NEW MEME "BONGO CAT"

[wolfcracker]

OK so I don't know if anyone has pointed this out already but

This is how the screen looks like for the most part of the show:

It's not at the aspect ratio of 16:9 so there's this black bar on top and below throughout most of the show (when the coven is not stuck in a trial and on The Road)

BUT the show would shift into "fullscreen mode" closer to 16:9 (without the black bars) in these scenes:

ONLY when the coven is going through their trials in the houses

The weird thing about today's ep is that during the trial the aspect ratio did not change at all (you can still see the black bars!):

so my theory is that MAYBE today's ep was never a trial but could be a trap, an illusion set up by the Salem Seven? Especially since the witches have crashed into the creepy bug lady which could explain why they got captured into Salem Seven's trap

TLDR: the aspect ratio in today's ep could be hinting that our dysfunctional coven might still be on The Road, trapped by Salem Seven, but not inside a trial

AND most importantly if this is all Salem Seven's doing, then maybe Alice is indeed still alive!! I am not delulu I swear!!!

Edit: and yes this could also explain why everyone is acting so weird in this ep because it could be agatha's illusion and she's reenacting her trauma of being abandoned & betrayed by her original coven with these new people she met (except for Rio of course because they're wives)

Edit 2: fixed some wordings because apparently when I wrote this I wasn't in the right mind and forgot the phrase "aspect ratio" exist💀 thank you reblog tags

[hagravenholm]

Dark, dark ass day.

Darksided even, one could say

[starcrossed-lov3rz]

The Vow Spoken Through Time - Masterlist

Daemon x Rhaenyra x Wife!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut, dirty talk, oral (both receiving), praise, slight degradation, slight d/s vibes, Brat!Reader, Jealous!Rhaenyra, Jealous!Daemon, canon-typical violence

Tags: marriage, poly relationship, Daemon being hopelessly in love with his wives, Queen!Rhaenyra, AU:No Dance of Dragons, playful dynamic, Modern!Reader in HOTD!World

Status: Ongoing

Description:

Y/N is having a rough morning. She's fired. She's hungover. She's in a stranger's bed. She's waking up in a new world? She's married?! Rhaenyra and Daemon's day started normal. Waking up next to their darling wife before tending to their duties. The difference? Their wife is speaking in riddles and has no memories of them. AKA: You fall through worlds and wake up in our favorite blondes’ bed. SHAMELESS “reader falls into HOTD world from our world” trope (I’m sorry, I CANNOT help myself, I’m a sucker for them). There’s not really a plot plot, but if you stay long enough we might run into one.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13…coming soon

Want to be added to a taglist? Click HERE!

[shiplessoceans]

Moments in House MD that made me absolutely feral as an O.G fan that watched it as it aired back in the naughties, shipping House/Wilson hardcore and not realising I was queer:

1. Wilson loudly reciting a poem to House as he enters the hospital lobby which contains the line: "His manly chest, his stubbled jaw, everything about him leaves me raw.'

2. The look on Wilson's face when a random clinic patient gives House advice about his date with Cameron.

"Do her....or you're gay."

*cue Wilson looking to the side like...wait a minute...*

3. House: "They were not Prada! you wouldn't know Prada if it stepped on your scrotum."

4. Wilson: "House I believe you're a romantic, you didn't just believe him, you believed IN him! Wanna come over tonight, watch old movies and cry?"

5. House (yelling across a crowded lobby to Wilson): "How long can you go without sex?"

6. The look on Wilson's face when he gets a masseuse for House (!) and she massages his hand, causing him to begin moaning orgasmically.

7. Stacey: "What are you hiding?"

House: "I'm gay... Oh that's not what you meant! But it does explain a lot thought. No girlfriend, always with Wilson..."

8. House watching Wilson sleep on the couch in his apartment, then quietly erasing a voicemail from a real estate agent saying Wilson's apartment application for a new place went through.

9. Wilson, explaining his infidelity during his previous marriage, to Cameron when she's feeling awful because she considered cheating on her husband while he was dying:

"Well my wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick. But I met someone who made me feel...funny. Good. And I... didn't wanna let that feeling go."

The lack of pronoun haunts me to this day.

10. Gay male patient harassing House and questioning why he won't treat him:

Patient: "Because you're a closet case?" (Eyeing House and Wilson who have just emerged from House's apartment)

Wilson: "Uh...we're not...together..."

House: "He is so self-loathing."

11. House nearly kills himself to attempt to prove there is no afterlife, Wilson waits over his bedside and then calls him an idiot and orders him extra pain medication. House's response is:

"I love you."

12. House: "Big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything."

13. Wilson refusing to participate in a board vote to oust House from the hospital and consequently losing him job for House. Wilson's furious with him over being put in that position but forgives House easily.

14. Wilson (speaking to House about dating a woman eerily similar to House): "Why not? Why not date you? It's perfect! We've known each other for years, we put up with all kinds of crap from each other and we keep coming back. We're a couple!"

House: "Are we still speaking metaphorically?"

15. (Less than a minute later when House keeps trying to convince Wilson he and Amber are a bad idea).

Wilson: "Wait a minute, every time I agree with you, you come up with a new argument. What are you trying to avoid?"

House: *Stares at Wilson with the most meaningful eye contact to ever eye contact*

Wilson: "Oh! Well if you'd looked at me with those flashing eyes before I was involved (clicks tongue)."

16. To Wilson's new girlfriend in a threatening, 'stay away from my man' voice:

House: "Give him back his sweatshirt... Pit stains don't become you."

17. House: "This isn't just about the sex! You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves..."

*tense pause*

House: "Oh my god. You're sleeping with me."

*flees restaurant*

18. House: "I have really gotta get you laid. If I have to plough that furrow myself, so be it."

19. Wilson: "I have a headache."

House: "We don't have to have sex, sometimes it's nice just to cuddle and talk."

20. (To a bellboy at a hotel House is staying at, while gesturing to Wilson)

House: "After he and I have sex, I'm gonna slit his throat and disembowel him in the bathtub."

21. House going to interview all of Wilson's ex wives to figure out how best to break him and Cuddy up when they aren't even dating. The look on his face when Bonnie explains how good at sex Wilson is? Priceless.

22. House: "Probably my deep and very unconscious desire to get Wilson into my bedroom."

22. House: "If you're coming back because you're attracted to the shine of my neediness. I'd be fine with that."

23. House borrowing money off Wilson in increasing amounts to test the limits of their friendship. He later admits to Wilson that: "Maybe I don't want to push this til it breaks".

24. House being convinced the male CIA agent who approaches him in season 4 is a stripper and sitting on a bench saying:

House: "You wanna close that door?"

CIA agent: "Why?"

House: "Well I assume you're gonna drop trou at some point during the dance, I don't see why I should share."

25. Wilson: "I want a threesome"

House: "Shouldn't we try a twosome first?"

26. All of that episode where House is talking to Dr Nolan and says Wilson is not a consolation prize. Legit became convinced halfway through that this was going to be House realising he's in love with Wilson and wants to keep living with him.

27. House hiring a P.I. to stalk Wilson after they've had a falling out to see if he misses him. The P.I. clocks this immediately and treats the case like that of a scorned lover needing to know if the other party is pining and if theres anything that can make him come back.

28. Wilson proposing to House in a restaurant to throw a wrench in his plans to date their neighbour.

29. Wilson got mad that Cuddy hurt House. So he bought her dream apartment out from under her in sheer spite and moved into said apartment with House.

30. Wilson being indecisive and unable to buy furniture for himself because of a flimsy sense of self and an inability to figure out who he is and what he wants. House teases him about this and challenges him to buy one peice of furniture that says something about who Wilson is.

The peice of furniture Wilson buys?

A piano organ for House.

31. House: "You were thinking about Wilson while were were having sex? That's cool so was I."

32. Wilson: "If things go wrong, I just want you to know..."

House: "If you're gonna say that you've always been secretly gay for me? Everyone just kind of assumed it."

33. Cameron: "Where do you put the cane?"

House: (referring to Wilson) "If he buys me dinner he can find out."

34. That gay as fuck ending, fuck I'll never be over it.

[possiblyreallyme]

Kinktober day 9: breeding with Sanemi

warning: breeding, soft + mean sanemi, multiple orgasms, praise, brief mention of jealousy, not proof read sorry y'all.

kinktober masterlist

"Yeah, arch your back for me, little doll," Sanemi groaned, sounding so uncharacteristically sweet in your ear, but the deep thrusts that had your weeping cunt quivering in tandem with your tearful hiccupping was anything but.

"No, none of that," He murmured under his breath, reaching up to wipe your tears away. "Can't have you cryin' like that— I ain't even been rough tonight." Sure, he hadn't been particularly harsh, but the way he so viscously carved his leaking tip into your cervix certainly classified as "rough". And he'd been at it all damn night, fucking round after round of cum back into you. Not a damn drop of his seed had touched the sheets, though yours coated the bed beneath you so well he had to relocate on the bed multiple times as to not slip in the puddle.

"Come on, you can take it, I know you can," He urged gently when you whined some form of complaint, telling him through your moans to stop before he fucking killed you. "You'll be so pretty all big 'n round, babydoll, y'know? And you know what? You'll look so good as a little housewife for me, can't have you out fightin' demon's when the littles need you to take care of 'em here. Jus' leave it to me, I'll make you a mama."

Your husband was never shy about how badly he wanted to make you a mother, but it was just plain stupid on your part when you thought it'd be funny to tell him that you were off your birth control. A double whammy when you slipped in the fact that it was because you wanted babies.

Well, you had to deal with the consequences now.

"Ughhhh- you'd be such a pretty mama, breasts all full of milk and waddlin' everywhere. I'll just have to carry you around, huh?" You couldn't hear him over the sounds of sex and your nearing climax, that painful knot whining tighter in your puffy belly. You looked embarrassingly bloated with all the cum he's already given you, shot straight into your womb with his tip pressed against your cervix.

"Can't take how Tengen looks at ya, when he's got all those wives he could get off to," He growled in distain, letting that roughness that you normally loved so much shine through, but now you only feared it. You knew Tengen didn't look at you in any special way besides his average flirty stare, but if Sanemi got in his head right now, your poor pussy wouldn't catch a break for another several hours. "What's he think he's gonna do, huh? Take my girl? Well, he can't do that if you've got a couple babies on your hips, hm?"

You knew good and damn well he wanted more than just "a couple" babies. Sanemi was the eldest of seven kids, and you knew going into it that he wanted a big family, Your's, Mine and Ours type shit.

He paused when you made a soft whimper of pain, glancing down to see the problem. "'M sorry, dollface," He murmured, realizing that his thrusts had grown rather violent, slowing them down as he fluttered kisses to your jaw. The relief was short-lived, because you felt his cock start to swell and twitch more than it had the last time— or was it the time before that?

"Hmmmm- can't be rough with you, can I," He groaned, pressing his face into the crook of your neck to leave hickeys all the way down to your sweet spot, grinding his pelvis against your clit to make you squeal. "Can't be rough if you're gonna be a mama, babydoll, I gotta take care of you."

"Gonna take such good care you when you're all needy and big, baby. I'll breed you so good, you won't regret it." His thrusts picked up in pace, and you braced for impact when he started to grip your waist tighter, drilling his cock into your cervix once more. "Gonna- gonna be such a good daddy for ya, an' you'll be such a good mama for my babies- Fuck, gonna cum, gonna cum so deep in your sweet little cunt, honey, ugh-"

He twitched, and started shooting his cum into you once more, moaning your name loudly as he bucked and fucked each and every drop into your raw womb, his own back arching in pleasure when you clenched so damn tightly around him, feeling that familiar wet trickle down his thighs from your feeble little squirt. It was all you had left, at this point.

"Let me- let me breed you, please," The only time he sounded whiney was when he came, hoping and praying that it would take.

He would let you have these few seconds to breath, lure you into a false sense of hope, but- "Ohhhh, fuck, you're still so wet. What? You thought I was done? No, sweetheart, come back here and finish what you started."

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

rating different responses to telling someone i’m polyamorous / dating multiple people

“oh… but how does that work?” a little annoying but usually comes from a place of genuine confusion or curiosity. 6/10

“but isnt that cheating?” no. 2/10

“so who’s your favourite partner?” believe it or not i dont have one, and even if i did have a fave it’d be shitty to say it out loud. 3/10

“oh sweet me too” FUCK YEAH 10/10

“can i join” well i barely know you so no. ranges from 2/10 to 4/10 depending on who’s asking

“woah so you’re like, an ot3 in real life” fuck your fandom shit. touch grass. 1/10

“i could never do polyamory” you’d think this is a perfectly fine thing to hear until you get it from EVERY FUCKING PERSON. 3/10

“thats cool” hell yeah it is. 9/10

“you'll get married and find the one eventually” fuck you ive already found the several and amatonormativity can go give birth to a cactus out of its asshole. 0/10

“so how do you guys break up” and we’re back with another well meaning question. if you are familiar with among us then that’s your answer. 5/10

“like sister wives” absolutely not. wildly different. 1/10

“rent must be way easier” monogamy? in this economy? yeah you have a point. 7/10

“huh i never thought of that, maybe i should become poly/open up my relationship” go nuts!! but be cautious as it could fuck up any present monogamous relationship you have, make sure to communicate clearly & respect boundaries. 6/10

“damn you must have so many threesomes/orgies” i mean yeah but also thats not how you start a conversation. 3/10

“oh that must be nice, having so many people who love you and you care about” awww thank you. it really, really is. 10/10

“like mormons” die. -10000/10