#i hates thsi place

[romanovthinkver]

i miss scarly and i’m skipping class today ‘cause a train strike and the uni isn’t going to justify shit i wanna only cry. can’t wait these two months to pass so i can graduate and finally leave from this hell.

[horsemeatluvr23]

ETHO HAS TIKTOK?!?!?!?

[guinevereslancelot]

for the first time in my life i was just asked if i have kids instead of if i'm in college yet. the years start coming and they don't stop coming huh

[inkandarsenic]

listening to the Epic musical on repeat because it’s finally finished now and oh my godsssss I forgot how much eurylochus PISSES ME OFF ALL THE TIME

[bbungle]

Hasthag fardding

[ghostlyferrettarot]

★Pick a Picture: ˚˖𓍢ִ໋🛒✧˚.💓⋆ What gossip is being said about you lately˚˖𓍢ִ໋🛒✧˚.💓⋆

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

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🩰Masterlist🩰

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Pile 1: Judgement, The Star, The Knight of Swords

The rumors that have been circulating about you lately feel really judgemental, to put it in a way. With this card also present, people may be talking about a significant transformation you have, whether on a personal, professional, or emotional level. Perhaps someone has noticed a change in you, like a transformation or glow up, and they now see you differently. Some people may talk about how you have “reinvented” yourself or how you have let go of aspects of the past that no longer serve you. The important thing is that these changes have led you to a new version of yourself that is more authentic. People may see you as a inspiration, as someone who has been through hardships but has managed to overcome them. The rumors about you are likely to be more about what you have accomplished and how you inspire others to follow in your footsteps. The rumors may be coming from people who are speaking impulsively or even somewhat aggressively, that's the energy im picking up with. Someone may be passing on opinions quickly and without much thought to the consequences. I feel like there are those who feel attacked by your success or transformation, and, rather than confront you directly, they just talk badly about you or criticize your decisions. However, the people who are talking about you probably don't have a solid basis, so to say, for their comments. It's more a matter of weird opinions. The tone of these rumors is more positive than negative, but there are those who, without knowing the whole story, may speak about you in a hateful wayr.

You keep doing you pile 1, you are the star!

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Song:

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Pile 2: The Moon, The Devil, The 5 of Cups

The rumors circulating about you have a enigmatic energy, so to speak. The Moon indicates that there is confusion or misinformation in what is being said about you. People may be speaking superficially or even making up things that are not true. These rumors may be based on misunderstandings its what i feel, and the details of what is being said about you are likely to be unclear. Some people may not be seeing the whole truth or may be letting their own fears or insecurities cause them to misjudge you, i feel a lot of envy pile 2 from them to you. There may be those who are speaking negatively about you, accusing you of being involved in unethical behavior or even situations that have put you in a bad light. There could be people who are talking about how you are doing so because they feel jealous or distrustful of you, projecting their own fears or insecurities onto you. The rumors about you may be related to situations or relationships that didn't go well, and some people may be talking about you from a place of sadness or resentment. There may be circumstances where you get something that someone else wants, and now there is some sort of gossip about what happened out of envy, thsi could be a job position, a recognition, etc. Someone may feel hurt or disappointed in you, and those feelings are driving the gossip, someone you cut out, an ex-friend is what im getting. Some people may be speaking from a perspective of resentment or sadness, perhaps because they feel like something has been lost, i feel the energy of a past friendship again, something that you ended. Be careful of the people around you, as they may be projecting their own fears or insecurities onto you.

Don't listen to what others say, you keep focusing on your journey and you will succeed in whatever you want pile 2! dont let otehrs bring you down <3

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Song:

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Pile 3: Strength, The Chariot, The High Priestess

Rumors about you lately seem to be very focused on your inner strength and determination, with 3 mayor arcanas in your reading, it's powerful! With Strength, people talk about your resilience and your ability to overcome obstacles with grace and courage. You are likely seen as someone who has faced challenges, and those aspects of your personality are reflected in the rumors in a good light. Some may even admire your ability to remain calm and stable, even when things get tough. People may be commenting on your accomplishments, whether professionally, personally, or even emotionally. You may be seen as someone who has taken charge of your life and moved forward with determination, which can provoke admiration, but also jealousy in some cases. Rumors may speak of your efforts to succeed despite hardships and how you have managed to maintain control. Finally, The High Priestess suggests that many of the conversations about you are guided good intentions and acts of kindness, i feel like people really like you pile 3! Some may speak of you with a sense of mystery, as they sense that you have a wisdom or deeper understanding of life. Rumors may relate to how others perceive your inner wisdom and your ability to remain private, many seem curious about your life 👀 You may be seen as someone who is moving towards your goals with determination and control that others find intriguing.

So keep putting in the good work and you will keep shining pile 3!

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Song:

˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚Thanks for reading and tell me if it resonated ˚ ༘⋆🛍️｡˚

[akutasoda]

Yay! Requests are open!

Can I please request BSD men with an eerie fem! s/o? Not gn.

Like, breathing is always very light, footsteps are silent and even the sounds of her internal organs (heartbeat, blood flowing through her veins) is very faint, she's always smiling and is almost mechanical in her movements and actions. She's her most genuine when giving them affection, is a very pleasant and sweet person but there's just something....off..about her. Like a subconscious feeling they can't quite place but ignore because they love her.

-Sincerely, 💋

mechanical affection

synopsis - how are they when they s/o is eerie and rather ominous

includes - dazai, ranpo, fyodor, jouno

warnings - fem!reader (no pronouns mentioned however), fluff, wc - 900

osamu dazai ★↷

↪dazai had met his fair sharre of 'creepy' people throughout his youth, but none of them ever actually scared him or made him slightly uncomfortable. you were the first.

↪what scared him the most was how mechanical you seemed. your actions and expressions seemed too robotic to be your genuine feelings and movements. no part of it seemed biological.

↪he cared little for how quiet your heartbeat and such was. he normally couldn't hear people's heartbeats and he could control his own so that probably was the least eerie part about you.

↪ however the lack of sound when you moved or breathed did put him on edge to begin with. it was too silent for him to let his guard down but when he got used to your presence - and your more sweeter side - he didn't mind too much.

↪ speaking of sweeter side, it did surprise him at first but he loved it. a weird sort of happiness surged through him when you gave him genuine affection for two reasons. one, the fact that only he recieved this sid eof you and two, he'd never recieved this level of affection before and getting it from you? it became a great comfort.

↪if the mafia raught him anything, it was that he should always be on guard around suspicious people. whenever you were around he couldn't help but want to apply that to you.

↪a constant nagging voice telling him to run or be careful was around when you were near. but maybe this one time he'd ignore it.

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪the world's greatest detective was known for solving cases and everything to do with his work. a part of that would make him great at reading people and so he barely feared anyone. but when it came down to you and the nagging fear you implanted in the back of his head, he felt helpless.

↪your presence made him uncomfortable to be simple. it was a nagging put of dread that he couldn't get rid of because he couldn't read you. your silence to eerie for him to be comfortable anyway. he sometimes compared you to a ghost or some sort of spectre because of this.

↪he also hated the fact that you acted so unnatural and mechanical. everything about you from your expressions to your movements was so eerie. but weirdly enough he became accustomed to it.

↪he started veiwing it as a challenge. he became motivated to be able to finally understand you and rid himself of thsi dread you installed in him. and a good starting place was when you showed him genuine affection.

↪yes it did catch him off guard, but he quickly became accustomed to a more genuine and affectionate you behind closed doors. you became not so eerie and instead rather sweet. he still didn't fail to notice the fight or flight in his brain around you still.

fyodor dostoevsky ★↷

↪it took a vey long time for fyodor to come to trust you even a tiny bit. it would be the first time somebody's presence would cause him to be on edge, to think something was wrong and that made him distance himself from you.

↪but eventually that fear turned into a weird, sort of morbid curiosity. why did you cause him to fear you? was it the mechanical actions you would show. or was it how every part of you was eerie and too irregular.

↪fyodor only liked people he could read. they were predictable per say, easy to understand and therefore caused him no threat but from time to time some people could change that. your seemingly mechanical actions made you impossible to read and he wanted to know why.

↪he became even more curious when he gave him genuine care. your once eerie aura seemingly melted away as you showed him a sweeter side that he weirdly loved. but even when you showed affection that nagging fear still lurked.

saigiku jouno ★↷

↪ it's safe to say he barely knew you existed to begin with. he couldn't hear your heartbeat and such unless he really focused on the faint sound - leasing to him sometimes having the uncomfortable feeling someone was with him if you were around.

↪he hates it really, he can't hear your breathing or footsteps either so he truly has no idea where you could be at any given time. it really threw him off guard as it made him feel vulnerable around you.

↪he had heard from others how they'd complain about how mechanical you looked and some twisted part of him found some joy in knowing how some people feared you for this. sometimes he'd actually wish he could see it.

↪ however he did still indulge himself in your more sweeter side - the side he felt pride in knowing only he recieved. your genuine kindness did throw him a bit at first but he accustomed to it and enjoyed it.

↪he even ignored the constant nagging pit of dread in the back of his mind telling him to run, to fight, to get away from you just so he could indulge himself in your kindness.

↪the only time he could ever hear your heartbeat was when you two were hugging. and so this made the action treasured and all the more endearing for him.

[bowdownperv]

I’m obsessed with morning wood.. can we have more smut❤️ u find billy sat on the sofa not in a good mood so u try to seduce him since ur so horny… u sit in his lap kiss his neck and grind on him cooing him asking what’s wrong.He moans sm 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠. Eventually then he snaps out off it and fucks you on the floor degrading u for being so desperate. Idk I have lots of ideas if u don’t like thsi I’ll suggest others 🥰

18+ ONLY

One thing about Billy is that he can be a bit of an asshole when he’s in a bad mood; and he’s almost always in a bad mood.

“Hi baby, I’m home,” you said trotting over to your unamused boyfriend slumped on the sofa.

The asshole glanced up at you and nodded.

His eyes were glued to the TV screen in front of him with one hand lazily gripping the remote while the other was settled on his thigh. You walked over to him and lifted his arms up to place yourself in his lap, rubbing his broad shoulders.

“Why are you being such a grouch?”

“You’re in my way,” he said pivoting his head around you to see the screen. Despite his unamusement, you felt his bulge hardening up under your ass. At least his dick was happy to see you.

You dropped to the floor in front of him and rubbed his shins up and down.

“Come on…play with me,” you whined. Smirking as your fingers flicked the elastic waistband of his boxers.

He groaned.

“Babe, I’m trying to watch this. Can’t you see I’m fucking busy?”

Holy shit he’s an asshole. You were going to have to give him something far better to watch. Were you jealous of the TV?

You bounced to your feet and turned your back towards him. Your fingers unbuttoned your jeans allowing you to pull them down your legs extra slow. You made sure to bend over and put your ass on full display for Billy. Reaching back to cup your ass and jiggle it right by his frowning mouth.

Turning back to face him, a moan or two may have slipped out in the process as you undid the first few buttons of your shirt to showcase your cleavage.

You crawled back onto your boyfriend’s lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. Your hands played with his hair making your tits bounce right in his face. You grinded on his cock and moaning at the feeling of it poking into your folds. For once since you got home today, he stopped complaining.

“I’m so fucking horny right now, Billy.”

“Touch me Billy,” you were begging. “I know you wanna touch these tits—touch my pussy—put that big, hard dick inside me.”

The man was mute. The only part of him recognizing your presence was the now solid rod between his legs. You grinded on it harder. Loving the friction of it rubbing against your clit.

You mind filled with an imaginary montage of him fucking you angrily, wet, and sloppy. How good it would feel to be thrown around and have Billy take all his anger out on your cunt. How good it would feel to finally cu-

“Fuck, fuck, oh fuck Billy,” you were practically screaming as you came all over his lap. Leaving a wet stain on your panties that leaked onto his shorts.

“What the fuck, babe? You’re that horny you’re gonna cum all over my lap and I didn’t even fucking touch you?”

He looked pissed off.

Before you even had a chance to speak, Billy grabbed under your arms and set you down on the floor. Pushing your head to the floor and your ass in the air, he yanked off your panties and rubbed your swollen, wet clit. You gasped and squealed.

“If you’re gonna act like a slut, you’re gonna get fucked like a slut.”

You looked over your shoulder and watched him take his dick out of his shorts and tap it over your folds. With a brave, teary eyed face, you groaned:

“Fuck me, Billy.”

His fingers dug into your ass as he plunged his cock inside you. You squealed like a fucking animal when he bottomed you out.

“This what you want, huh? Daddy balls deep inside your pussy fucking you for being such a little brat?” He smacked your ass making it jiggle.

“Fuck me harder, Billy! Fuck me like you hate me!” you screamed as he yanked you by your hair pulling your head back as he slammed into you.

Billy was grunting loudly behind you as his hips slammed into you like a machine. His balls punched into your skin so hard they left red marks.

Billy was dragging you across the floor by your hair into his cock. Your forearms were burning red from carpet burn and your ass was red from him smacking it. Your mouth wouldn’t shut no matter how hard you tried. You were squealing and moaning involuntarily from your stomach. Your pussy already bruised and swollen from Billy’s cock forcefully tearing into it. Not giving it anytime to accommodate to his size. The walls of your pussy losing their elasticity as he fucked it mercilessly. Tears began streaming down your eyes from the pleasure as you whined.

“Daddy finally gives you his cock and you wanna cry? Can’t take the cock you fucking begged for?”

“Please Billy—fuck!—i’m gonna cum!”

“Make that little pussy cum baby. Show me how much you love my cock fucking destroying you.”

Billy unleashed one hand and rubbed it on your swollen clit. Only making you cry harder. Your pussy was visibly red from the overstimulation.

“Oh, fuck, fuck fuck I’m cumming!” you screamed squirting all over his cock and abs.

He smacked your pussy with his two fingers and brought them to his mouth. Pulling your head back so he could look into your eyes while he tasted you.

“Taste so fucking good baby. If only you weren’t such a brat daddy would make you cum more often.”

“Please daddy, I need your cum.”

You reached your arm back trying to grab his dick with your hand.

“This what you want, baby,” he asked stroking his dick with his hand. “Want daddy to fill that tight little cunt up til its overflowing?”

“Yes please! Fuck me, cum inside me!”

“I don’t know sweetheart,” he sighed. “When you act like such a brat it makes it hard for daddy to want to cum inside you.”

“Please,” you were begging. “I’ll do anything. I’ll be a good girl just give me your cum! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Don’t say sorry to me baby, say sorry to my cock you were desperately humping on earlier before cumming all over it.”

He turned you around to face his wet cock.

“I’m sorry!” you quickly said before he slid it in your mouth making you shut up.

“Okay, sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna use his cock to teach you to behave, alright?”

You nodded frantically with his cock still tucked between your lips.

“Now, you’re gonna be a good girl while daddy uses your mouth as his fuck toy. And you’re gonna be quiet, okay?”

“Mhm,” you hummed slobbering all over his cock.

Billy grabbed onto your ears and pulled your face Ito his cock so your nose was brushed up against his pubes. You could barely breathe. His cock visibly protruding from your throat as held your head against him balls deep. You looked up at him with tears streaming down your eyes and saliva pouring out from your mouth and around his cock. Billy looked down at you and smirked, pinching your nose shut so you were forced to suffocate.

"Pathetic thing, aw," he cooed patting your cheek.

“You’re my little slut, huh? Daddy’s gotta stuff his cock in your mouth to train you to not be so needy.”

Billy unplugged your nose and pulled out as you gasped desperately for breath, wiping your mouth.

"I'm not done with you yet, slut," he demanded. "Lay on your back with those pretty tits hanging out."

You did as he said. Scared of what the consequences would be if you didn't.

"Thatta girl," he praised. Billy kneeled down in front of you so his cock was hanging over your head leaving a shadow. It looked absolutely giant and intimidating.

"You're gonna earn daddy's cum, alright sweetheart?"

You nodded slowly. Scared for what was to come.

Billy chuckled and wrapped his hands around your jaw. Forcefully dragging your whole body up into his cock. You gagged uncontrollably with waterfalls of spit pouring out your mouth and onto the floor.

"Good, good girl," he chanted.

Your lips let out tiny shrieks. Drowning from his cock and your own saliva. He time he pulled you by your head into his lap, he'd give you an evil smirk and sometimes even blow you a taunting kiss. Sweat from his forehead dripped down onto you.

"Oh, fuck baby," he cursed out. His grip on your jaw getting tighter and his thrusts sloppier. You could feel his cock pulsing in your throat demanding for release like a kinked hose.

Your hands slapped the floor desperately. Unable to breathe. Unable to think. Pleasure and pain mixing into one lust-filled concoction.

"Almost there," he soothed. As if he was trying to comfort you from the pain he was putting you through. Your breaths were fast and shaky. Falling apart bellow him only gave him more power. Only made him want to cum harder.

"Shit!" he bawled out. You felt one string of cum shoot down your throat, shortly followed by several more, each seeming stronger than the last. Billy quickly pulled out as he watched you squeal and squirm with his creamy load pouring out your mouth. He couldn't help but flash a devilish smile when watching you suffer with a throat filled with his cum. Billy stood up proudly and marched towards you, still on the ground, with his softening cock swinging between his legs. A drop of pre cum hitting you in the face as he walked. You expected him to pull you up, comfort you, help you get cleaned up. Instead, he ended up in the same place he was when you first found him: On the couch with the TV remote in his hand.

[clovesnz]

actually don’t read this unless u want to lose respect for me. im in a bad place mentally and don’t know how to cope this is the whining of someone who clearly doesn’t have enough real problems

there is definitely something wrong with me because i am sitting in my bed sobbing and wishing to not exist because i let an advent calendar i really wanted sell out before i could get it and they aren’t making any more of them. i think it’s because the advent calendar was about self care kind of and it was all whimsical and id never seen anything like it. so i felt like it was gonna heal me and get me through a really tough month. i wanted it last year but didn’t get it because it sold out. this year they had it again so i assumed they made it every year. nope. turns out those were the last of them. i haven’t felt this way about not getting something i wanted since i was a child. i feel so childish but it’s actually crushed me. like i genuinely feel like nothing else in the whole world matters. i fucking hate being neurodivergent sometimes like usually i can have adhd pride but right now i fucking hate it and want to be normal and not feel this way. i spent my whole childhood feeling this way and it was awful. feeling like the whole world was ending over experiences or items i didn’t get to have especially when it was my own fault. and not understanding why it effected me so much and wanting to be better and being told i was foolish for caring so much about trivial things. i was so relieved when i grew up and learned to deal with those emotions so i don’t understand why i feel this way about this

it’s just the fact that it will never be back. since they had it two years i thought it would be back next year. so i didn’t rush to buy it as much as i should. ive been imagining that ill have it one day for a whole year. idk why but im just really not okay and im writing this here because i can’t tell anyone i’ll because i sound like an idiot for being so upset. i think i had thsi idea that it was going to fix me. like. all the good vibes from it would fix me. im trying to think of things to comfort me and its not working. this is the most privileged fucking problem to have but at the same time if I were more privileged i would have bought it when i saw it was restocked instead of hesitating due to the money. and also maybe i would be happy enough in other parts of my life for this not to crush me. idk im rationalizing my idiocy.

[maplesyrupandsnow]

ᕦ ooc: hello my name is maggie! i have caved in and decided to make a hetalia ask blog and rp blog hehe, ofc this account will have rules with asks, i hope i can interact with other rp blogs out there! feel free to moot me or anything hehe my main is; @magdalenepie ᕤ

Hi everyone ^_^, my brother Alfred wanted to make a blog for me. It took some time but its finally here! I hope I can make some new friends on this place.. hopefully they can remember who I am

(˘·灬·˘)

Anyways, have a great day! And no weird questions please..

Also go and talk to my 2p! counterpart, James will ya?: @ask-the-woodsman hes fun to be around! Trust me.. he just doesn't know how to open up to others.

- 🍁🇨🇦

-------

RULES MOVED TO THSIS POST

number 1: no nsfw asks! i appreciate it when you interact on my blog but do not send anything in my inbox thats overtly sexual or graphic. i dont know you and you dont know me.

number 2: no traumadumping or venting, once again i dont know who you are personally. keep in mind i am playing a character not a therapist. if you have problems please tell them to someone else

number 3: do not expect me to know much about canadian history, yes i am a history nerd but i am not canadian. please correct me if i get any details wrong.

number 4: no racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, or anything hateful in my inbox. it will be immediately deleted as i do not tolerate any of those things

number 5: NEVER force ur aus or ships on me! this is pretty self explanatory and if theres an arc going on please am me abt it. thanks

number 6: please do not interact with my blogs if you're under the age of 13 😭 also when it comes to ship rps you must be about 17 or older when contacting me about said ship.

overall thats all i have to say, thank u ^_^!!

ADDED NOTE:

CANAME/FRANADA SHIPPERS DNI!!! I DONT WANT ANY CANAME/FRANADA SHIPPERS ON MY BLOG THANK YOU

my other blogs: @magna-libera-germania, @elizabeta-hedervary , @ask-the-business-man , @ask-the-woodsman

[oflgtfol]

this art style is literally the comics equivalent of this image to me

this art style is freaking me the fuck out why is it so hyper realistic but also the details are indistinguishable. like the image of the simulated stroke thing. also why does this alien owl lady have tits im so freaked out right now

[pigeonstab]

I think reading people's explanations and representation of Killer's conditioning recently has given me a better understanding of c!Tommy's conditioning in the DreamSmp. (I won't speak too much on Killer's story simply because I don't know it enough and I don't feel confident to speak on it, if someone does and wants to add to thsi though I'd be happy to hear that take)

I think my problem at the time of the DreamSMP was that I didn't really understand how that conditioning worked. I found it weird that Tommy would be changed to the extent that he was with what "little" Dream did to him, but in hindsight I do think it was a given.

Tommy's whole exile arc starts with a complete uprooting. Dream gives Tubbo, the new president of L'manburg an unfair ultimatum. His best friend Tommy has to be exiled from L'manburg or he'll cage the nation in.

And Tubbo has been run ragged by his recent presidency. He has so much responsibility weighing on him when he's only sixteen or so, all the adults around him are expecting him to lead and to care of the nation while no one is helping. And this is right after not only his own first canon deathbut the destruction of L'manburg! Both extremely traumatic events that he's had no time to recover from. And there's so much pressure weighing on this decision. Tommy's life means little to those in L'manburg at the moment. With his aggravating personality— (born I think from a need to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be loved) —has already caused problems for Tubbo with the adults that are relying on him. People expect him to keep Tommy in check and Tommy is not helping. Their relationship is getting more distant and strained. So when it comes the time to choose, Tubbo feels he has no other option than to play into Dream's game. He has to exile Tommy.

This first element is decisive for what the rest of Exile is going to be like. Because it puts doubt into Tommy's head. Because Tommy lives in absolutes and to him his best friend was forever. (This thought of his is exactly in the same vein as his need to preserve the past). Because if Tubbo can exile him then what else is he wrong about?

And this is exactly what Dream needed, the chips fell exactly where he needed them too and I'm so insane about that. Everything was in place so that Dream could make Tommy doubt Dream's identity as "the bad guy" as the antagonist who was the first to try and rip the L'manburg dream apart.

—

Dream uses multiple tactics to dismantle Tommy and the way he goes about it is so interesting too and the first thing he does is so specific:

He makes a hole. He tells Tommy to put his stuff in it. He blows it up.

This is playing into one of Tommy's biggest weaknesses, this is ripping his belongings away from him, this is making him lose his progress. It's touching that part of Tommy that feels just like having L'manburg taken away, or his brother etc. And Dream sets up this expectation day after day, he comes, he makes a hole, he blows up Tommy's stuff. And Tommy's always been a spitfire, at the start he keeps fighting it, fighting for what's his and for respect and that's always met with violence. That's met with punishment.

In this way Dream sets up the expectation that taking away Tommy's things is normal. That letting him keep things is generous and he shifts the scale of what's acceptable to do.

The other big part of this is guilt tripping, and Tommy makes this extremely easy because so many people already hate him. He's got a big personality he's alive and he likes to prank people and insult them and he's annoying. He creates problems for the people he loves. And Dream takes that and he uses it. To make Tommy believe that he's an awful person, that he deserves nothing, and so Dream taking away his things is simply retribution, it's Dream making him into a better person, this is improvement. "This will show Tubbo that you've changed, that you're a better person" and since there's that doubt. He believes this.

On top of this Tommy's starting to lose himself. Firstly because all of what he knows has been turned on its head but also because he doesn't eat enough. His food keeps getting blown up. He's got almost nothing but seawater. He's seeing the ghost of his brother on a nearly daily basis, a pale copy of the great man, the visionary Wilbur used to be, acting upbeat and silly, unable to feel sadness as he keeps extracting it from himself, this unable to empathize with Tommy. (Ghostbur is really tragic. But even with how bad it was for Tommy's mental health to have him around he was probably the most helpful thing Tommy had. Ghostbur made him logstedshire, with a little cabin. Not just the shoddy tent he'd been sleeping in. He gave him the compass that pointed to Tubbo. The one thing he felt was his own once again, and a permanent reminder of his best friend. Maybe the care of a big brother transcends death and madness. Or maybe it was just a lonely ghost whims.)

And at some point Dream becomes the only constant in his life. That's what makes his visits become something Tommy looks forward to. And Tommy starts to believe the things that Dream repeats to him that "Dream can't be the bad guy because he's trying to make him a better person. One that's loveable. That's not annoying". And if Dream says to Tommy that they're friends then... Isn't it true? And boom now Dream is using Tommy's isolation and need for human contact to control him. He lets Tommy keep some things to gain his favor, and he even twists his punishments as something that are in Tommy's best interest.

Dream makes sure that Tommy understands that he has control over Tommy's life. When Tommy is in the nether ready to jump into lava Dream catches him. 'it's not your time yet' because he gets to decide that. He decides whether Tommy lives or dies.

And for all of this Dream's been playing keep away with the people around Tommy. Because the only Reason Tubbo didn't visit Tommy wasn't because he hates him like Dream said, it's because Dream has never allowed visitors. And when Tommy sets up his beach party. Inviting all the ones he loves Dream is delighted to intercept the letters from ghostbur. and god, after all Tommy's been through. He set up tables and chairs and parasols, he made cake. And I cried when no one showed up. But Dream showed. And Dream sweet talked Tommy into obedience again.

But that's where Dream made a mistake though. He had a careful balance of praise and punishment and tactic after tactic until then. And it was a stupid, easy mistake. He just pushed too far. Tommy taking the time to build the long tower to jump off of, taking a literal look down at the bigger picture and at the ground at the bottom is what allowed him a moment of clarity. A moment to decide that he wanted to live but not like this. And it's what led him to aim into the water and then run away from his place of exile.

There are so many aspects of Dream's manipulation that make this work. It's a gradual increase, so gradual that Tommy can't see what's wrong until he's almost ready to give up on living.

[gayspock]

actually

sorry i'll say itnow. realness i do get insanely depressed the more its said. like yep adults now. everyones over it . everyones grown and now the only thing there is left in life is places where we can only ever connect once every few months cuz we have lives . this will be everyone from here going forwards. and i cant even say shit cuz its not that i really even have that. right. like idont even know anyone like that. and this is pathetic as shit. butjust that sinking feeling of knowing its too late, youve completely missed out. turning to youryounger self like ok so you know how hard it is to deal with everything. so dude lookits not going to get better . every year it gets worse you slip farther away. it getsharder to ever crawl because. cuz this is the only opportuntiy you'll ever get to consistently talk to people and its forever shrinking. and youre less likeable less of everything every year and more and more and mroe and its jsut going and going. i know i wouldnt likeme i wouldnt want to talk to me i wouldnt spend my few seconds of free time trying to get to knowme and i know that i know that deep down like.

because even beforehtat eveb when it should have been eaiserand even now when giventhat you cant make it work and you'll constantly blow it and everyones going to settle around you, and specifically most definitely without you, so shriknk up and die and because why do youever kid yourself about anything andyou'll go from the guy people remember every few months, becuase that was already yoiur FUCKING STATE OF BEING, to the person who doesnt exist at all because all your fearsof living in the periphery of everyone and constantly being left outand never jsut. mattering . SORRY . were never anything but completely rational. ALWAYS cdompletely rational. and always founded to be true . why didnt you try harder why didnt you dobetter when thatsall you can ever try to do and it never means anything. soemtiems i get crayz ufcking insane houses walking around the fucking house scrathcing at walls not seeing niot talking to anyone in months years however long its been criyng myself to sleep blah blah blah yap yap yap ne ficlomg grateful someone with a life has rememebred you exist this week because it wont happen again until next year. FUCK you. like i wishi was some fucking sincerely digusting fucking crerature sometimes but the reality of justbeing nothing like just being nothing that anyone can really like inthe end because youre substanceless and forgettable and fartoo easy to let slip away and jsut meek fucking loser that just lets it happen because whatsthe fucking point. i cant do anything to force peopleto like me just let me go fucking die in my hole alone i dont care any more and i dont want to care and i hate fucking everyone and why didnt you try harde rwhy do i have to try so hard to force myself . why does ittake so much to try and feel like im tapped into anything why is it that its jsut so easy LIKE

its not even maliciuous it used to be it could be but even when it wasnt it wasnt malciious ti was just alwwayswas jsut that like. we move on without you we do everything without you we forget you we wont invite you youre no in the conversation i cant kEEP UP WITH THE CONVERSATION EVER I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYHTING i feel like evryones just always laughing at mee AND im crazy bitch im fucking crazy i dont know why i cant make it i dontknow why i can never make it its not meant to be a fucking . oh youre falling behind oh its a race oh its a compettiion theres never any other way to conceptualise it other than jsut THAT. i ithnik when i trytoo hard then yep i am ugly and whatever butwhat is there there is that orthere is jsut . I DONT EXIST i dont understand anyone or anyhting i cant even try to i dont feel a part of anyhting i feel so fucking isolated all the tiem i feel so fucking alone im so fuckngtired this is it thsi makes it worse all of that stuff makes it worse but i dont have the fucking energy the wherewithall to fight it off over and over and voer again when itslike what else is there what is there to live for whenit just never means anyhting it just never matters lik oh my godthis si the reason why youre alone becauseyou make into eveyrhting like this whenit jsut . was never justthat im tired im ssad i think theres soemthing wronggg with me except its nothing wrong with me imjust using that as a fuckingthing to grip onto like yep yep something WRONG WITH ME just RELAX AND IT WOULD BE FINE! OF COURSEIT WOULD BE! LIKE IT EVER WAS LIKE IT EVER WILL BE LIKE THAT WASNT WHAT YOU DO IN THE FIRSTPLACE LIKE ITS NOT EVERYTHING THAT KEEPS FUCKING TANKING LIKE . what do you do what do you i feelfucking crazy im drained i cant sleep IM ALWAYS SLEEPING i go to work i fucking spiral im bad at it i get out of work i sit in the dark for hours bcause i cant . manage anyhting im so tired im so sad its my fault for nto trying to talk to people, i could try i could spend the few seconds of energy i have . the little time i go out i cant talk to anyone its so hard the people who do see me fuckng scream slurs at me i want to die i want to not exist i noly exist in somefucking . i dont get it everyone else has something hwhy sis it so difficult why is it so hard what is wrong with me GCONSTANT FUCKING BACK AND FORTTHHH THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH MEEE IM SEARCHING FOR SOME ANSWER WHEN IM JSUT NTOHING BUT ALSO OH GODTHREREHS TO BE. WHY AM I NOTHING WHY AM I ALWAYS NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGG IM SO UGLY IM SO BAD AT EVERYTHING IM SO ANNOYING AND YOURENOT MEANT TO SAY THAT BUT ITS NEVER ANYHTING BUT TRUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND WHY CANT I SAY THAT WHEN THATS WHAT I AM THATS WHO I AM THATS ALL I'LL EVER BE AND THATS. WHY. IM ALWAYS GOING TO BE ALONEEE SNAKE EAT IT OWN TALIKL

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: you're supposed to be doing your skin care routine right now, but teasing yves sounds much more appealing.

WARNINGS: none!!! :D

COMMENTS: THSI IS MY FIRTS TIME WRITING FOR HIM AND FOR ANY IKEPRI CHARACTER RAHHHH ^^; i've literally only played up to like. chapter five SO UHHHH IF CHARACTERIZATION IS WEIRD TAHTS WHY!! i did my best!!!!

also tagging @xxoomiii because heyyyyyy haha this is your man i hope you like it!!!

You can practically feel his disapproving stare as you pull the bed sheets over your face. Right around this time is when you would usually do your skincare routine with Yves, and even though you weren’t opposed to indulging him every night, you were far too exhausted from dealing with his brothers all day to bother with washing various products off your face five different times. You try to ignore how disappointed Yves surely was in you, being as diligent with his self-care routine as he was.

“Belle.” he calls, voice soft and without the scolding you thought you would receive, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“I don’t feel like it tonight.” you murmur, wishing the silky bed sheets would hide your form better.

Your only warning is a soft sigh before the sheet is peeled away from your body. You huff as Yves gazes down at you, his brow furrowed and pretty lips pursed in concern. He looks so worried, and while it should make you feel cared for, you really really just want to sleep. You curl in on yourself in a vain attempt to hide, but before you can hide your face, Yves’s hand shoots out and stops you. Your head jerks up and you meet his gaze, and with the way he’s looking at you you know he didn’t do that intentionally.

“Ah...apologies.” he yanks his hand away, avoiding your eyes, “I just...You shouldn’t skip out on your skincare routine. It’s important to polish your appearance.”

Ah, yes. You remember his first lecture about polishing gemstones all too well. The memory of his breath against your neck is still all too vivid, and you find yourself paying more attention to his moving lips than his words. He talks a bit longer about how beautiful he thinks you are, and although the words are flattering you take far more pleasure in watching his face slowly turn pink. He seems to realize where exactly you’re looking, and as his cheeks turn pink you grab him by the lapels and pull him forward.

The kiss you place on his forehead surprises him. He expected you to go for his lips like you usually do, but he can’t say he’s disappointed. You pull away with a soft smack and press your forehead against his, where you shut your eyes and rest for a moment.

“If you think this will get you out of your skin care routine, you are sorely mistaken!” he babbles, stumbling over his words like a fool.

“I love you,” you say, and you’re sleepy enough that it sounds so dreamy on your lips, and Yves almost combusts on the spot.

“Don’t—!” he sucks in a breath, gritting his teeth, “I love you too, but...where is this coming from?”

“Does it matter?” you say softly, “I don’t think it does.”

Yves supposes you are right. After all, you seem to disregard where many things come from, himself included.

“I like telling you I love you. You’re always so kind to me, and to your people...even though they don’t give a damn about you. And you tried your hardest to look out for me when I first came here, and you even gave me a pretty notebook and did my hair for our date and—”

He gets it. Yves gets it, he gets that you adore him just as much if not more than he hates himself. His body wants to squirm and bolt away from you, but you’re still holding his face and keeping him rooted to the spot. Your eyes are still closed and your voice sounds so sleepy and wow, has your skin always looked this kissable?

“I...I thought you said you were tired.” he stammers.

“No, not tired. Just said I didn't feel like doing skincare tonight. I just want to hug you and go to sleep.” you open your eyes, and for a moment he’s lost in them.

But then you pull away, and reality hits him harder than a slap in the face.

“You’ll have to make up for it in the morning, you know.” Yves says, and you smirk because his choice of words means you have absolutely won.

“Mhm. I know, love.” you laugh, a light, airy sound that makes his heart pound.

He allows you to pull him into bed next to you without resistance. You throw your arm around his waist and curl up against his back, spooning him. For what seems like the hundredth time that night, Yves turns that pretty shade of light pink. Your breathing slows, and he can feel your heart beating against his back. Your breath against his skin makes him nervous. Your hand around his waist finds the hand he rests on his stomach and slides against it. Your fingers intertwine and he has to stop his heart from imploding. He feels warm. He feels so loved and cared for. What a strange feeling this is.

He wants more.

What did he do to deserve this? Usually he asks these questions when faced with hardships, wondering why he couldn’t have just been anyone else. Why he couldn’t have been more like his half-brothers. Why he had to be a prince that didn’t belong in any kingdom. Now he asks because of you. And while your presence has changed nothing about the outside world, it has done wonders to the world inside his head, the one he envisions for you and him. The one he wants to create.

He wants nothing more than to be the person you continue to love. Maybe, if Yves is the person you love, he’d be alright being him. It's not something he can say confidently yet, but you’ve been around long enough that he has little reason to doubt it.

And as your hand squeezes his in your sleep, a little reminder from you to stop thinking like that, Yves finds himself drifting off with a soft smile.

[susie-dreemurr]

Arcane s2: ep 1 - 3 reaction

After putting it off for so long, finally started season two! Compiling my liveblogs here so I don’t spam my followers lol

Ep1

The counselors piss me off honestly. The only ones I have sympathy for are Mel and MAYBE Jayce (Viktor and Caitlyn aren’t part of the council so they don’t count) mfs attack zaun 1000 times but when zaun fights back suddenly they’re horrible creatures.

Oh thank god Vi didn’t accept the enforcer badge just yet. I know she eventually becomes one due to game osmosis, but I think she needs to change too much for the worse for that to happen. And she doesn’t feel like that yet.

Why does this guy sitting beside vi look so much like Vander…..

Come on Vi do NOT be tempted by one nice girl and Caitlyn’s sweet words. Do not become an enforcer yet. Wait at LEAST until halfway through the season, please please please 😭😭😭

WAIT BO DONT KILL MEL PELASE PLEASW NOT MEL

I think Vi is going to join the enforcers mostly because she might see Caitlyn as the only person she has left, and since they have hextech because she sees it as an answer to her problems. Sigh Vi I will love you even if you become a cop but I will be very disappointed

OMG I FORGOT THIS LADY WAS TRHE MOTHER OF THE KID WHO DIED. Yeah she should be allowed to do as she pleases with Jayce,

Vi nooo don’t use hextech… ought here are no right decisions right now but this marks the beginning of the end

Oh. Omfg. Mel’s mother is with them. She likely got together with them and coordinated an attack so that Piltover would have an excuse to use hextech against Zaun. Vile woman. It makes sense now why that person randomly spared Mel, though— oh wait I nvm I rewatched this part I understood everything wrong. Still… very suspicious. This is now my theory, then.

Oh, man… Vi can certainly relate to that. Vi do not project yourself into Caitlyn too much pease, I want you to spend at least 1/3 of this season Not being a cop

… what the hell are up with these images? Drawings? Caitlyn is looking at…? Interesting. And ugh there goes there fuck ass counselors again

“They must have had help from someone up here” and the camera pans to Mel’s mother. Either I was right or this is a red herring. Either way they’re definitely implying she did it

NOOOOOOO VI NOOOOOOOOO. THSI IS THE WORST DAY EVER. Please quit soon <3 I feel sick.

Edit: can I just say when caitlyn said “I thought you were on our side” and “I understand now how easy it is to hate them” all I could think was fucking. Nick from Zootopia “oh so there’s a THEM now?”

Ep2

Can I just say like. I know this has a lot of symbolism and everything but it’s so funny how basically every episode starts with a fucking amv.

… is the fucking shitty parent abandonment issues cycle hot gonna continue with Jinx and this kid or will the world finally allow me to be happy

Omg it’s werevander isn’t it?!???

She’s not handing Jinx over in an attempt to fulfill Silco’s last wishes, isn’t she?

Can i just say Viktor looks sick as fuck

I fucking forgot Heirmedinger existed godamnit. Now that he’s working with Ekko I can tolerate him ig

…oh fuck either 1) viktor is gonna accidentally corrupt places due to his body being full of hextech now or 2) the cave with shimmer, you know with the mad scientist, has started to contaminate natural resources around it and Ekko’s resistance could be close to it

THE FUCKIGN GUY. THE GUY WITH THE TUMOR IN THE HEAD DUE TO SHIMMER. THTA GUY

Jinx ily but godamnit the first thing you do once you smell somethign that makes you cough up like that is TRY to cover your nose and mouth —- oh fuck no. No. The gauntlet. Jinx is gonna see what Vi became. Nooooo. Fuckkkk

Neither jinx nor I am ready to see enforcer vi. I’m going to ki *remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health* I’m going to defeat the king on my own.

Jinx not taking the shot on vi :(((((

Nah bro these mfs are actual dumbasses fr fr, who td just throws a bomb in the ground like that.

Ok eu não terminei ainda mas acho que sei o que que meu primo quis dizer com “ele vai aparecer. Jesus” agora. Viktor REALMENTE parece o Jesus.

Omfg he literally is so Jesus coded. Por que que eu to vendo um episódio da bíblia agora.

Ep3

Ok fucking hell I saw the title this is gonna hurt. Last episode I could withstand it for just the couple seconds but godamnit I’m not ready for enforcer vi.

Throwing myself into the ocean I do not want vi and caitlyn to be cops. I knew cait was kinda one before too but she was fired so. Point is fikfjdkdjdksnnsns NAURRRR

Jesus Christ Caitlyn don’t you fucking turn off the air ventilation system for zaun. That’s evil. Like, she already tried using it against jinx, sure, but that’s an entirely different matter. Vi if this really does happen then you better give her shit when you find out— Nevermind she’s walking with her. Still, hoping Vi (and Caitlyn too, because she is also changing for the worse) snaps out of this soon <- knows she won’t

Fuckkk. At least the villainous song slaps.

Who tf is that mf in the pillar. Might be bait from jinx

…is Vi trying to mediate? If so, it makes sense. Vi has never seen Caitlyn act like the enforcers that put her down for so long and she doesn’t want that to happen, im sure. And despite everything, Vi is still a zaunite. Even if she may not be aware that she’s trying to mediate, this girl very much remembers what it’s like to be on the other side.

“Everyone in my life has changed. Promise me you won’t change” vi :(

NOOO FUCKINF THE VENTILATION SYSTEM. JINX GODAMNIT WAS THIS YOU. Hope I’m interpreting this wrong.

Caitlyn and Vi being concerned for the other’s changing but their own changes stopping them from truly reaching out….

Minha internet cagou justo quando a vi e a jinx tavam lutando mano não é POSSÍVEL

…this whole thing really was Jinx’s elaborate suicide plan. Also Vi protecting the child and trying to keep Cait from shooting her is such a mirror to the scene where she and Jayce fight people with hextech.

It’s just so… there are no winners in war. There are innocents in both Piltover and Zaun. And even those who don’t have their hands clean but are also victims. All this does is create more suffering. But there was no other way it could have gone now was it

“I keep telling myself that you’re different, but you’re not” nick zootopia in the head again.

Motherfucker. Well maybe she didn’t orchestrate the memorial attack (though we don’t know that yet) but she certainly did this.

“You’ve given Zaun opportunity after opportunity to right their wrongs” no you haven’t. Lmao.

Referring to CAITLYN????????? ohhhh my god

Also. Did Vi last like one(1) episode as an enforcer and stop. I don’t think that’s the case obviously but it’d be really fucking funny since we haven’t seen her here yet

YES YES I FUCKING KNEW IT SHE CAUSED THE MEMORIAL ATTACK DIDNT SHE IM RIGHT ARENT I LETS FUCKING GOOOO I DIDNT INTERPRET WRONG ANYTHING FUCKERS

…okay maybe I am a little excited for Caitlyn’s villain arc— godamnit there’s no fucking way that fuck ass doctor from s1 is still alive.

(That was awesome. But seriously though where is Vi)

[ask-steven-stevenson]

No, no, it’s okay!

I… in all honesty, I’m scared too. I’m scared about all of us. Especially Steven.

Yeah.. Steven’s been off for a while. It’s weird.

…we did sign the contract. We’re stuck here. We can’t even DIE to get outta here. We just get revived every time…

I don’t like bringing new people here either. I don’t like seeing Steven trick them into being stuck here. I hate seeing innocent people sell their free will to this place. I’m scared too.

I don’t wanna disappoint them either..

[Theyre fiddling with their badge, looking at it in slight disdain. Their tail is down low, close to their body.]

-🔑

[[THSI GOT BURRIED MY BAD KEY</3]]