#i hate when i feel like my blog is kinda depressed because of situations

[ang3lik]

Truth be told I think more people are better off leaving the fandom than naively thinking he actually broke up with his gf because he said in a vague TikTok comment that he doesn’t support trump. Like they’re happy because he’s not into trump but he didn’t put in any effort to make it clear that he doesn’t associate with people like that…maybe because he still does and that was the real issue in the first place…the overall situation is stupid. They need to leave people alone like is jack paying them??? it’s weird and they’re bullying other fans and people who aren’t just going to play dumb because he’s cute

THIS !!

[8-dermestid]

on the train and thinking abt the pastas again…

🥩toby would love the subway because of all the people (not bc he likes people but more so because he can blend in and feel kinda normal when surrounded by other people. gives him a sense of normalcy that eventually makes him hate the subway)

🥩my hc toby smokes a lot bc the depressant effects of cigarettes help with hallucinations (though he is twenty and also has not been inside a store since he was seventeen) so the only way he can get cigarettes is off the ground or from victims (he has a favorite brand, though he is not at all in a situation where he should be picking and choosing)

🥩methinks ej would try smoking but it doesn’t work for them after a while

🥩jeff is stinky, but not cigarette stinky, like dirty laundry and bloody-nose tissues and any residues he’s rubbed off on his hoodie stinky

🥩been thinkin abt sally and some art people made of ej being like an older brother to her, and it makes me smile… v happy

🥩i think once ej finds some stability and routine (and an antipsychotics prescription or something) they start to relax and not he as animalistic bc they can finally just relax

🥩my hc nina is a victim… def had delusions and things and internet people took advantage of her (also she’s a very lovely creepypasta idc if she’s a copycat killer i think that’s actually very fun & interesting and she is just a wee thing 2014 creepypasta community leave her be)

🥩she (nina) would love to blog… she would learn to code html so she could have a cute blog with cute buttons and gifs

🥩ej would’ve loved working in a junkyard with all the old broken cars, less as a mechanic and just being able to sort thru a messy yard and find cool stuff

🥩ej happy birthday here is a cane (🦯) i love you please go take a bath stinky

🥩if slendermansion is real… they all had lice. all of them. and they just stole a buzzer from a cvs and just threw in the towel (and burned all of their bedding/clothes/mattresses and just stole new ones from a nearby house)

here is a picture of a pigeon i took

[someverygaymoth]

*°•MASTER POST•°*

Welcome to The Moth Den; Asks are open!

This blog is the home of KD!AU, DFT!AU, The Retriver Institute, The Horrors in the Wilde, CFK!AU, Skyfall AU, Bugged!Cross(Bug), and plenty of other AUs.

(check out my AU details list here)

✨We're Proship✨ Well, what does that mean? No one deserves harassment over writing/drawing taboo topics in a completely fictional fandom with completely fictional characters!

✨ We're comship✨ Well what does that mean? We ship some ⚠️CW⚠️ worthy ships! All are fictional and tagged appropriately. Instructions on how to use the keyword blocker are in this YouTube link! (More about what I draw/discuss below the cut so you can block disliked tags)

Two quick rules!

We're a SFW blog here, I will say we've got some suggestive themes, so I'd say please keep our asks appropriate for a 15+ audience, alright?

I'm being so serious when I tell you do NOT come on my page with anti rhetoric, I use the block button as the Tumblr devs intended,

Links↓↓ and about me↓↓

And a quick note, I do not currently take drawing or writing requests, but I do take suggestions. If you would like to suggest something to draw, I do not guarantee that even if I respond I will do said suggestion or finish it if I do start it. But please feel free to ask questions about my AUs and the characters within them!

Here's the link to our SFW Discord, make sure to be kind and pay attention to the rules!

You can find me on AO3 at Some_Very_GayMoth, although not everything on there is SFW, so navigate with care!

And on Twitter, where I never post, @TgayMoth

As I mentioned before It's important to note that I do write ✨Comship/dead dove✨ content, and as a psych enthusiast, I believe exploring darkness through fiction can be a positive and safe experience! So, hopefully there's no confusion there. There's a list of what I am comfortable writing about vs not below. (That is why I focus heavily on tagging all of my works adequately, and all of my posts! So that you can block keywords you don't want popping up on your timeline, and you —hopefully— never have to run into anything you don't want to see on my page!)

Please make sure to take care of yourself and pay attention to tags on any of my writing, or any writing in general. If you see something you do not want to see, don't click on it. Tumblr does indeed have a keyword filter, and I will always do my best to use keywords in my posts, so if you do not know how to set up your keyword filter with the things you don't want to see on your timeline, I would highly recommend you check out this link on YouTube that will show you exactly how to do that!

I write angst, violence, hurt/comfort, gore, all that good stuff.

Now that I've mentioned keyword filters— here's what I write/talk about frequently so you can block the tags you don't want to hear about! As well as what tags I have blocked because I don't enjoy them personally, because everybody has boundaries and it's okay to have yours. (Just remember you're responsible for enforcing your boundaries by blocking people and tags you don't agree with/enjoy)

I've written twincest(shout-out to Dreammare)

I'm not comfortable writing any parent/child stuff but no shade if you do, I usually don't like any OG fontcest stuff either it's just hard for me to digest but again no shade.

I won't talk about the kinks I write and don't write on here but there are many yes, no, and maybe situations to be found there, I assure you. And again, write or read, no shade.

I've written stuff about anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, disability, all sorts of trauma, lots of that.

I've written Major character death, violence, and some mild gore too! A lot of that is for The Horrors in the Wilde, so keep that in mind, lmao.

Honestly I think that's all I have, which is kinda L, maybe I need to step up my dark fiction game if this is all I've got. (It can get so much worse and istg I will write worse stuff to spite anyone who's tossing around hate like it's confetti. And I'll tag it properly so they don't have to see it if it makes them uncomfortable. I'm just cool like that.)

Oh btw if you're not tagging your stuff properly or make a fuss about tagging things when someone tells you that you didn't tag something properly, you and me aren't cool. Nothing about that is okay. I will never fuss about someone asking me to add a tag, if I EVER miss something please tell me, I will happily add tags for you and keep them in mind for next time.

About me↓↓

I have been writing for about five years now for the fandom, and I've been here since about the very beginning. Like when we were still figuring out that undertale had a genocide route, lmao. I actually got into UMTV through CPAU and never managed to make it out, lmao. I started posting my writing back in early 2020. It's been so wonderful to see this fandom grow and change, blossoming with many fun aus and beautiful ideas, and I hope I can contribute to many more beautiful ideas on my little corner of the internet.

I have some physical health problems that may make it difficult for me to post more regularly, but I will do my best!

Disclaimer; we are a OSDD system, I've known since about 2022, but it's not something we particularly enjoy discussing online unless it's relevant to a topic at hand. But, to my fellow systems, you're always welcome here. If you have questions, we're comfortable answering them, so feel free to ask.

[the-catboy-minyan]

I feel like venting.

I have a chronic illness, I'm not going to share what it is, but it's partially influenced by stress (as in, getting stressed worsens my condition but it's not the only thing that affects it).

when 7/10 happened, it was a Saturday, I just had a really good week since it was Sukkot and I celebrated it with friends, I had my first date ever (kinda), I hanged out with my sibling and their friends in Dizingof Center, and I was about to have a relaxing weekend with my little brother while my parents go on a trip overseas.

then I got a call from my sibling.

apparently there were bombings all over Israel, I wasn't even that surprised, this wouldn't be the first time Hamas attacked on a holiday. my parent's flight got delayed but other than that it was fine. I have a friend that keeps Shabbat so I couldn't reach them for the entire day, and we were worried sick because they live in a more dangerous town. then I found out my parents are stuck overseas until the next weekend (they were only supposed to go for 3 days). then I learned about the kidnappings. and oh no are we in a war right now??? this isn't just a regular bombing spree (as depressing as that thought is)????

the stress really got to me, I got really sick, and couldn't go to work. a few days turned to a week, my parents got back, my sibling stayed weekends in the military due to increased workload. the week turned to two, my friend got kicked out of the house for a couple of weeks because their mom is a manipulative bitch. everyone in our friend group were looking for ways to help them, offering their place to stay and almost calling child support (they're still a minor), until their mom finally calmed down enough. then it became a month, I entered the hospital for some time, then back to house rest I went. then two months, then three.

I'm finally back to work but I'm still sick as fuck from everything, I can't open the news, I can't stay in the room if people talk about politics, I can't open most social media sites, every time I see the colors red green white and black I can feel my heart start racing, I don't have access to a therapist because they're all booked as fuck and expensive, even being on jumblr can get me too stressed sometimes and I had to mute all notifications from this blog.

why do I even have this blog then? because venting about the situation actually kinda helps, seeing support from diaspora jews and other israelis helps, and as much as I can't physically watch the news, I still want to be in the loop even slightly.

so yeah, am yisrael chai and stuff. I'm not saying this like "oh woe is me", I luckily haven't lost anyone in this war and the people I know who do have only lost distant relatives. it's not a "I'm literally neurodivergent and a minor" thing, I'm aware that just by having this blog I'm inviting hate to my front door, but if I'm ignoring instead of confronting hate well then now you know why.

I have no idea who this is going to reach, and I don't really care, I just wanted to get this off my chest. this war had affected my life so much even though I was never close to the front lines, the only thing I want is for it to end.

[bosskie]

Molluck Study Night

Man, I don't remember when was the last time I managed to draw this many sketches in a day... Last night I studied Molluck's anatomy, so the rest of the sketches here will be about naked Molluck. But this was the last one I did since I also wanted to just practice drawing his face. I had no idea how to draw him but then I just looked at those cutscenes and wanted to draw this one because he is just so cute when he is pondering after looking at the blimps in the first part of the good ending! This wasn't easy one to draw and I actually fixed this a bit digitally since I realized my mistakes while editing the photo of this... It just feels like I still have so much to learn how to draw this Gluk... I feel like I lack of something, making me unable to ever be professional in art, but maybe I just haven't been doing enough art, studies etc...

But currently, I do am trying to improve my art since I feel like I'm just stuck and haven't really improved in a decade... So, here's some random Molluck anatomy studies, being in order I made them:

These are actually quickly made sketches, so that's how I was actually able to draw this much in one night... Though, I finished that portrait after waking up since I become too sleepy to finish it. I personally feel like these sketches only show how poor my anatomy skills are, so I wasn't even sure if I post these or not but well, still wanted to be brave and show my poor skills bare naked, just like Molluck is... This is just how I feel about these sketches... They show my real skill level and I don't think that it's good... Well, gotta just keep drawing. Though, I do still sketch a lot poorer stuff when I try to figure out how to realize my drawing ideas... Well, I guess that I could give you a look at these actually awful sketches:

All of these are made for a sketch/drawing I have posted here. (Yes, I tend to sketch stuff using Paint.) Frankly, this is how I tend to see my skills, how I feel when I look at my stuff... I know that it's not nice to see an artist calling their art bad but I just wanna be honest, like brutally honest about how I see my stuff, so here's kinda like a visualisation of how I see my stuff, at least during my worst moments... There do are moments when I do feel like I can actually draw but they seem to be just little moments and I'm soon back to thinking about that I cannot draw a thing. It's depressing and it makes me feel kinda depressed when I look at the stuff on this post but well, this blog has also kinda been about the journey I have been doing with my Molluck art/stuff, in many ways.

I'm sorry but I just cannot pretend that I loved my art... I love Molluck so much but at the same time, I just hate myself so much... I don't even know why but I just feel like my life is already a failure... Just feel like how this stuff shows how I cannot truly draw... How me being skilled is just a lie... Man, I just have so bad impostor syndrome... I feel the best when I forget myself but when I think about myself, it only depresses me... I just tend to think that every energy/time/etc. spent on me is wasted...

Even looking at the stuff on this post makes me feel worse, I still wanna post this bad art. I just don't feel like that the portrait looks great either but I tried my best and that's the main thing. I just feel so bad about myself... It feels like I'm only able to practice self-love thru Molluck, making him being kind to me while I tell myself the worst possible things... This is one of the reasons why he is so important to me... He is the one that tells me inside my head not to do it, not to end it all... Frankly, like I said some time ago, it's actually like a mundane thing for me to think about suicidal things, just nothing special anymore, it's been so long like this, over a decade... This also kinda one reason why I'm so open about my own situation, I'm getting so tired of this... To describe how awful my mind is, I can say that it has just laughed at me when I have been reading about how seriously suicidal thoughts should be taken, said how I'm not worth saving but all the others are...

But I'm still trying to fight, even I have felt like life is pointless for over a decade... The cycle of life has just felt so odd: born, grow up, (breed,) die... Like, what's the point of this all? Why to live, why to survive... Thinking this stuff was the reason why I got depressed, just don't understand the point of living, doing anything in life... Maybe it's my personality that just makes me unable to enjoy life, stop caring about this... But like I have said, I do still feel like I'm a failure, so I'll never really be anything... This is how I just feel and I don't know how to stop feeling like this... Just everything I have 'achieved' feels like mere luck or 'lucky mistakes'... I just feel like I'm a living lie, my impostor syndrome is this bad...

I don't wanna depress anyone else but my blog has kinda become like this, that I also write how I'm doing with my mind since it affects my stuff a lot and Molluck kinda just keeps my mental health 'in place'. I really had some positive things in mind to write here but I just cannot when I feel like my 'art' looks so bad right now... Well, another time then. I'm sorry but I'm just fighting for my own life with my mind... Since I more like hate my creations, I'm only able to show my stuff related to Molluck since this Gluk is just the love of my life... This was also the reason why I didn't take part in that OWI's fan celebration thing they just held, just have no mood for making my stuff more visible, show it around but here. Like I have said many times, I felt like deleting my submission to that SoulStorm tattoo contest I won, it just looked so bad in my opinion... I only wish I was able to see what the people who enjoy my stuff see... Why is my mind just trying to kill me, but there somewhere I still know that I'm not so awful as my ill mind tells me, that I do have hope, that I shouldn't take my own life... Man, brains are so odd too...

I don't wish that I end this all because of all the bad things I tell myself. I more like wish that me being open about this can help the others like me. That's why I'm also working on a game related to mental health issues like mine. Thinking about publishing/showing it makes me feel nervous though but I'm trying my best with being able to show my stuff since my life kinda depends on it... Man, why it's so difficult to feel anything positive about myself... I seriously don't know why I hate myself so much... Why I have so high expectations for myself... Why I feel like I can do nothing in reality...

[starstimsies]

Welcome to our blog!

Hello there and welcome to the blog! If you have already checked out the description you will know that this blog is owned by two people! If you would like to know our personal blogs they are @d3ads0c13ty and @astro500. This is just going to be an introduction page for us and the website we're in the process of creating! We already have our own introductions on our personal blogs of who we are and what we talk about on there if you want to check it out, but on this blog we will mainly be promoting the website!

Astro's introduction

Hi! My name is Astro and I am nonbinary as well as pansexual! Being nonbinary means that I don't conform to gender norms and personally, I go by they/them pronouns. Even though I go by they/them pronouns I am completely okay with you guys using she/her pronouns for me. Being pansexual means that I can date anyone not based on their gender identity/what gender they present as or what's in their pants! I would prefer to keep my age private so please don't ask me any questions too sexual because I don't want people to assume I am a minor talking about sex just because I don't want people online knowing my age.

Passive's introduction

Name: passive or bunnie! Fav music artists: SZA, Attila,ICP, tyler the creator,kali uchis,megan thee stallion,and frank ocean DNI: weird ppl(the bad kinda weird),anti furry ppl, extra judgy ppl Funni things i like: ,Scene fashion,cutecore fashion, Overwatch 2,fnaf, playing viola, animal crossing, sanrio, the color pink, Sonic,vocaloid, Tokyo revengers,Garfield, pet regression!! Things I despise: scratchy noises, moths, violin players(jkjk), mustard yellow

That's all you need to know! I hope you have a nice day/night every day!

Here are just a couple things that we will not tolerate (as we think of more reasons I will add more)

Transphobia

Homophobia

Sexual topics

Racism

Making fun of others

Fat shaming

Hate on the agere or age regression community

Sexualizing agere/age regression

Sexualizing minors

Hate on pet regression

Hate on neurodivergent people

Disregarding our feelings/boundaries

Acting like autism, adhd, depression, anxiety, etc isn't real

Rape jokes

Thinking sexual trauma isn't a real thing

Making jokes about sexual harassment/assault

Talking about when you sexually harassed/assaulted someone

Hating on furries

Hating on therians

About our website

Our website, StarStims, is essentially a completely free space-themed website with a blog format for neurodivergent people or people with mental disabilities/disorders! There will be a variety of videos, games, links to fidgets that you can buy (from different websites), definitions on things like anxiety and adhd, etc. The videos can range from links to comfort audios/asmr to stimboards! The games could be games about sorting/organizing, puzzles, writing games, and fidget games!

We want our website to be the place you can go to so you don't need to search the entire internet for that one specific video or game you want to find! The definitions/descriptions of the disorders will be there so you can understand a bit more about your situation or so you can show family, friends, coworkers, etc so they can figure out ways to help you. There will also be coping mechanisms for things such as anxiety and panic attacks!

[hiro-doodlez]

HELP I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression) Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense

First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.

When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked

The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying

I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.

I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that

I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO

I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.

i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".

If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.

I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.

im a people pleaser does that count

i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst

I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing

I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore

if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.

i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)

i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)

i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.

i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???

i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??

I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."

i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.

when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.

Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why

i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)

[askingdiabolikbois]

Hey. Hate to bother you, and I’m not 100% sure this blog is alive but I’ll leave this here nonetheless. Mind if I have a matchup for DL? I’m a enby bisexual. Myers Briggs is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. I have very strong beliefs and I’m a bit stubborn to change them otherwise. I’m quite the introvert. I’m not really a people person at all. I tend to scare people off too just by my overall vibe. Like I look like I just got out of prison. When in reality I’m just intimidated by everyone around me. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( Get Scared, MCR, P!ATD, MSI, Glass Animals, sometimes ICP or Mother Mother ). I’ve been told I’m witty, and I can be rather humorous when it comes to my sarcastic humor, insults or anything insulting in general. I can be rather rude. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. Mainly because I’m really touch starved. I’m also a horror enthusiast. Anything spooky is my kind of style. I also wear all black most of the time. Or just "edgy" clothes in general. I’m guilty of being a huge submissive type unfortunately. I have autism and I suffer from severe depression and severe anxiety. I can get really down for no reason or just freak out over random stuff. I’ve had to hypoglycemic attacks from not eating. I just sometimes have a really hard time taking care of myself. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - Coii

I ship you with : Subaru !

- Subaru is intrigued by your appearance, he thinks your really cute and cool looking

- He isn’t intimidated by you at all and if anything, he understands as everyone seems intimidated by him

- He doesn’t mind your strong beliefs and is silently happy your so strongly passionate about something, although he will probably mock you if it’s something overly religious

-

Subaru likes that your introverted, as he is too, he’ll be happy to spend time with just you, and you alone

- He too is stubborn so I can see a lot of meaningless fights over nothing important, and it comes down too whoever caves first tbh

- Suba too likes spending the majority of his time in his room, so he would be content listening to music and chilling / napping with you

- Having a snuggly session with all your plushies as pillows, drinking your blood would be the perfect way to spend his day

- He enjoys watching you draw, and is often giving you ideas of what to sketch like roses

- Gets totally flustered when you draw him although will definitely appreciate it

- He’ll happily watch horror movies with you, he enjoys laughing at them whenever there’s a really stupid kill or unrealistic blood splatter

- He’s really into indie horror and loves finding underground, f*ckd up horror movies

- He loves your style, and thinks it suits you

- He hates how down you can get but he’s exactly the same so he knows there’s not a lot he can do, so he just tries his best to comfort you, or if you need space he’ll give it but remain close by if he’s needed

- Since your submissive, he’ll enjoy that and will take your blood as often as he pleases

You and Subaru met when he was just wondering one day, he thought you looked cool and overheard what you were listening to through your headphones. He was a big fan of Get Scared and thought your edgy clothes were cute on you. He isn’t one to approach people but you caught him staring and he kinda screamed in your face. He made a random comment about how he enjoyed the music, and asked what else you were into. Subaru caught feelings a little too fast but didn’t admit it. He pretty much used you for blood at first since you seemed to submit to him pretty nicely, though when you weren’t around he really missed your company. He started to crave your attention, so always seemed to loom about near you and always ended up just chilling with you.

He was so consented about your situation with food, he isn’t much of an eater himself but he could sustain himself on blood. He honestly considered turning you into a vampire so he wouldn’t have to worry about your nutrition. He even resorted to guilt-tripping, declaring you need to eat so he has healthy, delicious blood to drink. Subaru isn’t the best at dates but he gave you some roses and asked if you wanted to see a movie, suggesting a horror one.

Overall Subaru just ended up greatly caring about you and wanting to protect you. He tries his best to improve your mental state, and encourages you to look after yourself.

Hi sorry this took a while! Hope you enjoyed the matchup! Your music taste is super cool, I love msi, mcr, get scared and p! in particular. Im also a big horror fan, I have tons of recommendations if your interested! Hope your keeping well with your mental health and everything is okay in general! If you ever need someone to talk too please feel free to message :)

[driftingmoonmenace]

Helo I just wanted to say I totally get having that horrible sense of inadequacy. Like I've been dealing with imposter syndrome for a while and it stems from depression (which I only got diagnosed with like a month ago) Like I'd joke about having depression and imposter syndrome a lot but a few weeks back idk I kinda realized wow it's like. Actually real. I may joke about this thing and how I wanna hide under a rock and delete my blog but when I stop using humor to soften the blow I actually do, and that is not normal at all. So yea I'm starting therapy soon and hopefully that's something we can touch on because hating everything I make no many how many ppl say it's good is not normal or healthy, and just think about how many other ways it bleeds into my self-image (friendships, relationships, general self-esteem, etc) Like if you're hating everything you make there's a good chance it's not just effecting how you view your art but how you view yourself.

So yeah if you haven't considered it yet, maybe look into therapy and/or see a psychiatrist to see if you could possibly get diagnosed with depression, cause it kinda sorta saved my life. I kept bottling things up and telling myself I was being dramatic, isolating myself, trying to erase myself from the world, and before I knew it I was on the verge of suicide. Sorry if that got too dark.

Like... chances are your brain is trying to tell you something is wrong. Whether it's with mental health, an irl situation or something else. If you feel these negative emotions about what you create, there's a reason behind it.

Obviously you're a different person with different experiences and none of this may apply to you, but I still urge you to take these feelings seriously because you do not deserve to feel like this. You deserve to say your thoughts honestly, to have fun writing/drawing with ocs, make fics, just have fun and create. It does not have to be the most imaginative thing ever, the most beautiful or the most complex. It just needs to bring you joy because finding happiness in expression is what life's about in my opinion.

Yea this got really long and I hope none of it was annoying, I just really want you to take care of yourself and stay safe, okay?

You're loved, and what you create, however small, is precious. There's only one of you and you are enough

First off I just wanna say that I totally feel you and agree on a lot of this Anon! I'm glad that you were able to get diagnosed and able to take the next step into getting help and feeling better!! It's so so important when you're dealing with all these intense, and serious, emotions!!! 💕

(gonna put the rest under the cut)

I do certainly appreciate the concern too! I've actually been diagnosed for bipolar depression for a good 15 years now, just a lot of personal things have happened since that's hindered me from getting the help I need. So these feelings and stuff certainly aren't anything new to me BUT therapy and getting medicated is something I now have the ability to work towards this year, so I'm getting there slowly but surely! ✨

[borathae]

I'm so glad that aaol is getting some traffic, a lot of people are starting to read it from what I see. I saw someone requesting something that you dont write (and I'm so happy you don't indulge in writing).

I've reread it again lately and I just hope they see the depth it carries, past all the smuttyness... If you read it intentionally you know kook has his mommy kink because he feels the safest with her and he looks up to her with fondness.

I'd literally pay money to have myself read it again for the first time, like if i could somehow erase the memory and just enjoy reading it again.

Also that waxing scene is legendary Sibi, it just shows how peculiar both bunny and lucky are and to think they started developing some feelings that night makes them that more special for each other. Like fuck conventional romance.

This is why I agree when you said him and his ex wouldn't ever be a forever match. Like how him and he s wife are just soulmates is so clear since the beginning, since he strutted into her room for first time you can tell something about them screamed i want to be with you. It's almost like their souls knew that and recognized each other from past lifetimes and wanted to be close again but in this lifetime s context it was sexual favors and so they were both like let's do the kinkiest shit so we can be as intimate as we're allowed in this situation and maybe that's how our story in this lifetime starts.

I do believe so much in trauma bonding and I know it can missguide poeple at times but here it just shows that there's no linear story for loving and being loved. You can have mental issues and be anxious and depressed but have a healthy relationship... You can be addicted or struggling with substances and still see the light. You can be kinky and have "unusual" fantasies and still have them embraced and wholeheartedly accepted by your lover. You can be both a little fucked up and with baggage but what you have doesn't have to be fucked up. Like I know everytime I come here i write you a journal but I just love these stories... Love can grow in the darkest hours and places...

I'm trying to sober up again i relapsed two months ago and it's hard but i hope this time this is it. The fluffy slice of life you post on this blog do help with some positivity.

Anyways i hope you're healthy and doing well. :)))))

🌞

You see, it's those kinda messages which I like to keep in my inbox for a few days so I can reread them over and over again!

If you read it intentionally you know kook has his mommy kink because he feels the safest with her and he looks up to her with fondness.

Yes! This!! This is exactly what I want to protray with his kink. It doesn't stem from unsolved issues or something but more that he feels so completely and utterly safe with her

Also that waxing scene is legendary Sibi, it just shows how peculiar both bunny and lucky are and to think they started developing some feelings that night makes them that more special for each other. Like fuck conventional romance.

The waxing scene still haunts my fucking mind, no joke fjadjfa alSO PLEASE HAHAH THIS IS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY LIKE "how did you guys fall in love?" "well you see, she waxed my ass and I know she was the one" HAHFHAD

It's almost like their souls knew that and recognized each other from past lifetimes and wanted to be close again but in this lifetime s context it was sexual favors and so they were both like let's do the kinkiest shit so we can be as intimate as we're allowed in this situation and maybe that's how our story in this lifetime starts.

PLEASE YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY ON THIS CLOUDY FRIDAY WTFF PLEASEEEE 😭😭😭

You can be both a little fucked up and with baggage but what you have doesn't have to be fucked up.

I love this so, so much!! Seriously the one relationship "advice" I hate the most is when people tell others that "you can only find true love once you know how to love yourself" and that just makes me so fucking angry because it's not fucking true. You can still struggle a little, have baggage and issues and STILL manage to create a beautiful and healthy love. Jesus fuck, us humans are pack animals why tell them that they are bound to be lonely for as long as they "haven't learned to love themselves" when one can find so much love in being with other humans?

Thank you so much for this message! Seriously it made my day 💜

[loudstan]

I know it was me who tell you to post the fic and make a whole ted talk about it and make a whole analysis about the other guys but dam girl

I was crying, i was gasping i felft so bad about lele and i feel so much sympathy for y/n and the the PLOT WITH SOWNGA (IM SORRY I DONT KNOW WHO TO WEITE HIS NAME THAT BROKE MY HEART LOUD OKAY IS THIS THE SING I NEED TO STAND ATTEZ?????)

and the end, omg HE KNEW THINGS AND THAT MADE MAD FOR A REASON THE CAPTAIN SURELY IS THE CAPTAIN FOR A DAMN REASON

And then jisung crying and being so scared fot Chenel 😭😭😭😭 and kun OMG QIAN KUN WHEN I CATCH YOU MAN i was crying really bad and then he just went like "Yeah 🧐 i even send you 🫵 postales 🫥" amd i giggle

I was a little conflicted with the chenle and siren at the hotel part at the end and the silence spell and kind the whole situation but girl!!!!! I have the biggest reader blog bc depression is taking the best (and worst) of me but this is what i was missing about reading, the emotions the surprises the conflicted feelings the hate and love, damn , Loud I even wanna go back to write myself and am crying really hard because i feel i give up on living and writing was something i been attached since i was 9 and i dropped bc that atupid sick i have (honestly my depression cant fuck off) Yeah, i definitely gonna go back to writing hshs my therapist needs to hear about this.

Always is a pleasure.

This was the captain the entire fic

If writing is something that brings you joy then you should definitely give it a try! I only started with this blog but even if it’s not a ‘serious’ hobby it’s fun and I like doing it. If my angsty stories made you want to go back to one of your passions then I’m glad I posted them

Life kinda sucks sometimes, I know that, but I think that it’s the little things what make it worth living. Keep being strong and do more of what you love!

[diariesofapisces]

Misery = Redirection

On this splendid morning, I woke up feeling like shit. Maybe it's because I smoked an ungodly amount of weed last night. Actually, it is. My dopamine level was fried. Mornings are hard for me right now because I have to manually get me out of a depression slump. With weed, the depression hole is deeper than if I hadn't smoked the night before. Knowing how fragile I am right now it might not be smart for me to make getting out of a depression even harder. I have experienced firsthand that when I never get out of my morning depression slump, I cry the entire day. Maybe I shouldn't smoke until my brain cells are burnt to a crisp. Maybe I need to take it easy. I love the fact that I am more aware of the negative effects of weed on my well-being and that I can fathom taking a break. I was thinking this morning and I realized that I hate living. My worst fear is simply experiencing life without any distractions. Maybe I could blame it on my traumatizing upbringing. When I was in the trenches I had to use my fantasies and distractions to get me through. It was a survival tactic. Now that I am not in that situation anymore I need to learn how to love life again. I need to learn how to exist again. Mornings are super hard for me because I have to exist and entertain myself all day. The idea seems super overwhelming for someone who hates being alone. It's very depressing how depressed I truly am. I realize that having a solid schedule may be the best solution to being chronically bored. Also have hobbies I actually enjoy. For example this blog. I am very surprised that I have been able to keep with this for as long as I have. I was kinda sad that I stopped journaling because I was really good at that last year. It was very cool that I could find ways to express myself artistically. I think a lot about freshman year. Sure I was either ironically depressed or manic The whole year but it was a time. I especially miss months like October and April. I hate how even though I was miserable I want to go back. I need to find a way to appreciate times without getting super depressed about them. Maybe I'll look back at the time I am in right now and wish I could go back. Looking forward to better days but for now, I am going to try and appreciate what I have now.

[highschool-rooftop]

oct. 27th, 2020

man its weird to think this blog is 2 years old isnt it? like when I started this i thought that i was anyday from just killing myself, i had no hope, no job, and was about to love my living situation but thanks to a few nice friends and accepting people, i was able to land a job at *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* and then after that place stressing me to the point of panic attacks and taking it out on the wait staff... then i ended things nice with that place despite how much i hated it and i apologized to the wait staff alot.. probably too much...

now ive worked at *big store chain* a year now and i hate it just as much as i hated *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* for a similar reason too!! i fucking despite the people that run the places i work because i know i could probably do their job 30× better, i just choose not to because thats also 30× more responsibility on my shoulders and ive already got broken legs from the shit i feel like im dealing with outside of work.

the more i focus for a minute the more i feel like my life is in shambles and that im barely functioning right anymore. ive been horribly depressed again as of the past couple months and my family i live with barely talk to me because im always in my room which is like totally fair, but if im not sleeping up there im using whatever energy is left from work to hang out with my friends because theyre actually engaged in the topics i talk about, they show interest and actually talk to me not at me. my aunt and uncle and i have few interests in common so its incredibly difficult for me to keep a conversation going for long with them. theyre always playing card games or board games but im not interested in them, theyre not really that fun for me. my uncle plays xbox but hes typically on COD which i dont enjoy because of how toxic those communities are, hes got minecraft but the last time he played he never told me he was getting on at all otherwise i would've joined! then theres me and my cousin who are currently on nearly completely different schedules and really only see each other when hes taking me to and from work which makes it hard to hang out and play games, and thats of hes even willing to play any of the games im comfortable with and not trying another Survival-Crafting-RPG-Game of the week or something like factorio which is hyper complicated and i dont have the time to dedicate to learning how to play correctly so i just end up being a resource collector and its kinda boring..

and all of thats just the at home situation. my friends at least hear from me more but since alot of them have moved out of town for college at this point i haven't hung out with a friend outside of work irl in like 5, maybe 6 months... and i dont interact with many people at work. im really really lonely.

small bit of good news i feel i should add here in case i dont come back again for a few months is that ive scheduled an appointment to see someone abt getting hrt, itll be Jan 19th! ill also be seeing a few of my online friends in December too!! i hope i can stay alive at least until then. sometimes i feel like im in the same situation i was in when i started this blog but those two things are the two things giving me the hope to keep pushing on i guess.

oh and my old friends birthday will be this weekend, i probably shouldve just forgotten them by now like they probably have me but in the off chance that they ever find this stupid blog: happy birthday BXXXXX, hope you have been in good health and that you are happy ! please be well and enjoy Freddy VS Jason and the Scary Godmother, and the live action Scooby Doo movies again this year !

with that i think thats all ive had to say. im neglecting mentioning new speaker of the house, Mike Johnson, and all the terrible horrible things i want to say abt him and how im worried it will fuck with my healthcare before i even recieve it due to the fact that im typing this up outside, its cold out, my phones almost dead, im tired, and i still have a bit of this bowl of the married iguanas to finish up with before unwinding and going to bed to repeat this living nightmare of a life all over again tomorrow. maybe ill watch adventure time before bed ..?

[idle-starship]

A Serious Update

TW // Vent; mentions of suicide, death, and violence against trans people; overall a bummer to read.

I'm aware this is not my usual style of posting, at least on Tumblr, but I just want to give an update on where I am now regarding my life and how that could affect my stories and this blog. I apologize if this post gets a tad bit vent-y. I also apologize for not posting regularly as of late. In fact, I may not be able to keep up with once a day posts and updates about my stories, at least not right now.

I'm sure many of you are aware of the current situation in America; many anti-transgender bills are being passed, and our community is facing the threat of genocide. I don't use this term lightly. We are currently in stage 7 out of 10.

As you can imagine this has affected my mental (and possibly my physical) health severely. I can tell I've slipped into a crisis mode mindset. Or maybe it's called survival mode? I'm not sure, but it doesn't matter. I'm scared for my life.

It's my dream to share my stories and characters with the world, and my biggest fear is that my life will be cut short before I can do that. I've cried my eyes out at the thought that these characters will die with me. I know that it's silly and kinda depressing to value my life around my creations, but if it weren't for these characters I don't think I would still be here. Honestly. These silly little characters have gotten me through so much, and I've come to love them as if they were my close friends.

The fact that my dream could be shot down just because I'm trans is... It's something that I've grappled with before, but never like this. It's soul-crushing.

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that we're in the middle of a fucking crisis. I don't have the time or energy to keep up with this blog on a regular basis, and I'm dropping the whole "one story a week" system I had, at least for now. I will be posting when I can and when I feel like it.

But I do still want to post here. Like I said, I want to share my stories before I die. And if that means info-dumping on Tumblr before I get hate-crimed or die by suicide (which I have no intention of doing), then... well, it's not what I hoped for, but it's better than nothing.

The future looks bleak, but I want to keep creating for as long as I can. All I want to do is make people smile.

Anyway, I should probably end on a happy note. I've got a new hyperfixation on Trigun Stampede, so that's pretty fun! Most of my creative energy the past week or so has actually gone into a Vash x Reader fanfiction, which I will be posting the first chapter of tonight on AO3! This franchise has been a great way to keep my mind off things, and I'm very grateful to have something to turn to for a quick lil dose of serotonin. Also, my Birthday is in a couple days! I'll be turning 19! I'm also planning on making an animatic featuring me and my main OC Dash for the occasion, although I doubt I'll be able to finish it in time for my birthday, but that's ok!

Alright, I'm gonna go publish that fic now. Take care everyone, love y'all 🫶

[nobodycallsmerae]

Hello, Hello!

Soo, a few days back, I had shared a post asking for some BBRae AU fanfiction recommendations, so, let's put the fact aside that it didn't really help... but now, I'm here to share some stories that I've read, and I recommend reading!

So, this list only consists of AU (Alternate Universe) stories where they aren't superheroes, so you can skip it if you want ^^

So... I won't rank them, because I think every story is amazing, (and I'm pretty easy to please,) so, I'm just assorting them as I keep collecting the links :) Also, I'll try my best to review the stories without giving away any spoilers...

Firstly, there are too many good fics to count, but here I am mentioning the ones which stood up in my mental folder. (Also, it only includes completed stories.)

This list includes all types of stories, high school, co-workers, roommates and all... the ratings are between T-M.

(Links lead to stories on Fanfiction.net.)

The Butterfly Effect -by Light NS | Rated M for semi-sexually explicit material and topics of depression and suicide.

This story definitely comes in my top-5 list blindly, and it deserves so much more! The story is about Gar and Raven, who are adults now... and let's just say there are far too many coincidences in this one! It's a lovely story with also a healthy amount of tension... because, I personally believe it can't be BBRae without some arguments *shruggs*. You should definitely check it out if you haven't already!!

Broken -by LightNS | Rated T

Oofff... okay, so this story is actually one of the first BBRae stories I've read and it's really close to my heart...

First of all, I want to say that the characters in this story are freakishly accurate. I mean, the personalities are on-point. In this story, the Titans are high schoolers, but this isn't exactly a high school romance kinda book. To be honest, this isn't exactly a romance book..(?) It's more like an action/thriller... And... it isn't heavily a BBRae book... I mean, yeah, it is based on those two characters, and Gar spends most of his time crushing on her... but, y'know, it's a book that shows both of them growing... and learning about each other -and themselves.

The writer does an amazing job to portray the character's feelings and personalities, and I'm sure her writing won't disappoint you.

The only drawback this story has is... well, it has a discontinued sequel named "Glass", so, it's kinda sad that, I mean, I've fallen in love with those characters... but, they don't really have a happy ending soo…

This writer is also on Tumblr, @lightns881 , so you can also visit her blog and support her!

By the way, there're also really great BBRae communities to be found on Fanfiction.net and you can check them out for more fun stuff to read. The ones I thoroughly recommend are:

"Best Of BBRae" which basically has all the goodness, IU and AU (but, it's a bit old so... you might not see newer fics there.); and

"Best Of BBRae AU's" which is a collection of one of the best AU stories.

Moving on...

Everything Has Changed -by Chibi 1309 | Rated M for Mature themes and language.

This story also comes in my beloved top-5 list!!

I don't really know what to say about this story without ruining it, but if you're on the lookout for an adult Titans BBRae fic, this is definitely your stop. Well, let me just say that, Gar and Rachel are best friends, a troupe I personally adore, and they live together in an apartment in Jump City.

This story has a lot... I mean, A LOT of feels, and the writer... *chef kiss* She really knows what she's doing. May it be the setting, the characters, the emotions... the author could deliver it wonderfully.

It also has a lot of other Titan members, so I like the fact that it also gives us an insight on what's going on in their lives too, rather than just Gar and Rachel.

Hands up in surrender, I won't say anything else, because I don't trust my mouth (or fingers), but this work is definitely a must read.

"Spy vs Spy" by Caitastrophe8499 | Rated M for mature themes, violence, and adult situations.

This... is a masterpiece people. You should definitely read it... like RIGHT NOW!

In this story, Gar and Rae are from rival agencies, Doom Patrol and Titans, and as fate has it, they're forced to work together. Neither of them are happy about it, because of each other's cocky and standoffish attitude and as both of them work best solo... and also... both of them hate each other... at first. This book, it includes lots of action, and if you knew me, you'll know that I am a sucker for crime and thriller. I mean, this story in itself is so great, it could be adapted into an ACTION MOVIE!! Or maybe a graphic novel to start with. :)

And what's best about it is, it doesn't only show two people romance each other, it shows a group of people working together to catch a deadly villain. I won't say much more to build suspense, but all I'll say is, it's entertaining, spicy, and the character dynamic fit perfectly with their relationship and situation, and if you haven't read it, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! CHECK IT OUT NOW!! This will probably be one of the best recommendations of your life.

Assuming -by magisterquinn | Rated T

This is a feel good, light-hearted BBRae story that I very much enjoyed. So, basically, it's about Raven (or is it Rachel, I forget), and how the (dashingly handsome and) annoying employee won't leave her alone. She also gets a series of mail that sparks her interest, and I don't trust myself to say more without spoiling it.

Magisterquinn, the author, has an amazing collection of the BBRae (AU) stories they've written, "Chivalry Isn't Dead", "Making Mr.Right" (a must read) and "In Paris" to name a few, so, I definitely recommend checking out their profile for amazing and clever reads.

The Malchior Widow -by beautifulpurpleflame | Rated M

...this story...all I wanna say is... if you haven't read it, you're missing out on something wonderful in your fangirl(/boy) life.

This story is based on my favorite troupe, which is where all Gar wants is for Raven to open up to him. It's like, Raven is a reserved, "untouchable" person, and Gar, being Gar... feels an urge to talk to her. After many, many attempts, when Gar finally talks to her, his friends are like, "How'd you get her to talk?" or "How's she open up to you?" and the response is, "No one's ever even tried before."

"The Malchior Widow" goes at a satisfying, feel-good pace... and it's one hell of a journey. I mean, as the title suggests, Raven's a widow, and she isn't exactly open to the possibility of loving... or trusting someone else yet. It shows not only both of them falling in love... but also understanding, knowing, and learning to trust each other.

Another good AU story by Beautifulpurpleflame is "The Beach House", so you can also read that.

Honorary mention::

"How To Save Her Life" (Rated T) by "Beautifulpurpleflame"

If you're looking for a wholesome, toe-curling good, filled with feels, amazing, awesome, family Titans BBRae story... this book will give you everything... or any of Beautifulpurpleflame's stories really...

I mean, that girl... is a legend... Her stories are so great.. just... I'm speechless

Don't forget to check 'em out.

You can also follow this amazing writer on Tumblr, @beautifulpurpleflame , and show her some love and support.

Okay, another story... Now this may be considered cheating, as I'm only including completed stories... but I couldn't stop myself from not mentioning this story...

Nevermore Records -by LilyTimbers | Rated T

According to the author, only one chapter and an epilogue is left... so, I guess we could wave it off with a yellow flag?

I, myself, can't go on a single day without music. And the idea of my favorite team of superheroes... being a Rock Band..? Boy, ya' don't gotta tell me twice!

This is a slow burn story, which includes Gar in his mid-twenties, along with the other Titans (except Raven), being a part of a Rock Band, which plays gigs at different places just as a side hobby. But, as they have real talent, they get a once in a life-time chance to be an officially labeled band, they're ought to be super hit. Here, we also see some other Titans, which is a real sight for sore eyes sometimes... But, just being good doesn't mean that everything's out for them in a gold platter. The team itself faces lots of challenges which is, truth be told, really entertaining. And the fact that Gar's love interest is his own manager? Oooh... you're up for a real good ride...

I'll keep the rest of the reading to you... and believe me, the story is waaay better than my small review.

The author is also an amazing artist, and has many beautiful BBRae fanarts on her Tumblr profile @lilytimbers , so you can follow her for updates! (though tbh I think you already do... but I felt like saying it, soo...)

If you're also a sucker for musical band based BBRae story, don't forget to check out

Harmony -by Kid Walker | Rated M

Here, Raven joins a singing group which does covers, and quite willingly, she can't seem to keep her eyes off of their leader/director, Gar Logan... and looks like he can't either. It's an amazing story, and I believe you'll really enjoy reading it!

(The story itself is complete, just some extra bonus chapters that the Author posts are yet to be updated, so I guess this story qualifies.)

.

There is also a huge collection of amazing BBRae AU stories on Wattpad, too many to count, but here are two stories that I remember... and had a good time reading...

(On Wattpad only: (and only completed ones.))

High School -by anssoftball94

Soo... as you might've guessed from the title, here Gar and Rae are high schoolers. They live together with Rick (Dick/Robin), Kory and Vic in the Tower. I guess we could call it a slow burn, and what I enjoy is it also has the other Titans in a satisfying amount.

What I love about this story is that Gar and Rae don't just jump into a romantic relationship (like most teens do, I'm just sayin'!) and start a romance, no. In this story, first, they understand each other... and in a subtle manner, fall for each other. It's a really sweet and practical story, and I really enjoyed it... (even though I had to wait for the ending for decades!!)

Just one thing that makes this story a bit weird is that instead of "Gar" or "Garfield", Beast Boy is mentioned as "Logan" throughout the whole story... so... it was a bit... y'know? *shruggs*. But otherwise it's a must read.

A+ -by NikolaDabrowska

This story, to be honest, will definitely qualify as a cliché high school romance, "popular basketball kid falls for introverted bookworm nerd", but I really enjoyed reading it.

I mean like, you know what they say about Disney Classics, right? Even though we've read Beauty and The Beast or Snow White, we still like to watch the movies..? This story's like that.

Even though the troupe is kinda cliché, the story itself is executed in a very engaging manner, with interesting character dynamics and some original plots, so, I would definitely recommend reading it. (I, myself, have read it more than five times...)

.

.

.

So, that was a list of the BBRae AU stories that I highly recommend! There are more amazing (and incomplete) stories out there to read, but these are just the ones I've thoroughly enjoyed (and remembered.)

Also, feel free to share your BBRae story, if you have written any, and I'll happily read and support your story!!

Happy Reading!

Quick endnote, if you've read this post till here, do me a favor and check out my stories too! ;)

On Fanfiction.net and Wattpad.

All of my stories are complete, instead of "Tease Is Just The Cover" on FF.net (which I don't think I'm gonna work on any time soon), so feel free to check 'em out!

Sorry for the advertising, but I also want an audience y'know?

THANK YOU! And I hope you have a good day/evening/night ahead!

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

“Let’s BTS” asks about “I like you the most” and Jin’s reaction

by Admin 2

First of all, I want to wish you all, far away in the world of Vmin and BTS, a healthy and peaceful Easter, if you celebrate it, and a nice weekend for those who don’t! Since Admin 1 is quite busy right now and currently also participating in Camp NaNoWriMo, I (Admin 2) will take over our blog for a little while though Admin 1 will still be lurking and checking comments etc. I want to emphasize right away (you will probably notice it anyway) that I have no literary talent compared to Admin 1. I'll try to worthily “replace” Admin 1 for the time being and talk to you about Vmin and more.

Unlike Admin 1, I am not so careful with shipping discussions (and I even like them) as long as everything is done respectfully and we’re all sticking to the truth about the BTS members. I don't like criticizing other shippers because I understand that other fans may love their favorite members and ships just as much as we love Vmin or Namjin, but sometimes it’s inevitable that I have to say something.

So, I invite you to a discussion. I am open to discussion.

We got two interesting questions about “Let’s BTS” and specifically Jin’s reaction to vmin and I want to discuss them.

From anon: Hi, just wanted to see what you made of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message to Jimin on the Let’s BTS show. I’ve seen some people say he looks so done and even annoyed with it. I can understand him looking apprehensive at first because Tae is a bit of a loose canon, but everyone’s reaction after is to laugh and smile and shout but Jin is very stoic. I’m kinda new and wondering whether he isn’t a fan of Vmin’s brand of declaring their love on national TV. Although when I think of how he behaves with Joon - I’d struggle to wonder why he doesn’t like it. Any thoughts?

From anon: Hi, I cannot believe what I’m reading about Tae on some platforms. What is wrong with people? Anyways I wanted to ask you what you thought of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message for Jimin? I’ve started seeing people saying that Jin hates the fact they’re close that’s why his reaction was weird. I’m a vmin shipper but Jin is my bias and I can’t get my head around the fact that Jin doesn’t love them both dearly. He did look “apprehensive” perhaps but I’d say with Tae being Tae; that isn’t surprising.

In order to answer these two questions and to form my opinion on the matter, I’ve looked at the situation with regard to Jin and other members several times.

I admit that I’m surprised myself that Taehyung went this far. Actually, it's not even about the content of his words, but about the whole circumstance and the atmosphere that he created around his "confession". I don't know who added the music, whether it was a Taehyung hint or simply something the editors and PD thought of, but the whole situation and phrase gained even more "meaning" and "seriousness" through it.

I seemed as though the background music was supposed to make the moment remind everyone almost of a scene from a K-Drama (or one of vmin’s playful roleplays), but it only added to the effect of this being a serious, sincere and weighty moment instead.

Taehyung joked around by turning the table and pretending the envelope was not intended for Jimin, but this just led to an increase in the tension displayed by the members and the moment itself, and yet still Jimin was immediately convinced that he was the one for whom the envelope would be. Everyone was acting (which makes it sound like they were faking it which isn’t what I mean) like they were curious, but you could clearly see everyone's tension and nervousness, especially when looking at Jimin. Taehyung added that the contents of the card within the envelope were for Jimin's eyes only, emphasizing the seriousness and intimacy of what he was about to say. As a result, Jimin’s reaction led to uncertainty, nervousness, and at the same time an awareness of the sincerity and seriousness of Taehyung's words.

The words "I like you the most" are (on a superficial surface level) nothing big when compared to "I love you", but they still had the biggest reaction. Jimin wrote "I love you" to Suga and absolutely no one reacted nervously, everyone joined in on the declaration, and the situation was relaxed and even funny. Why did Taehyung’s words cause such reactions then? Why?

My thought is this: When the envelope was revealed to be for Jimin, it was met with tension by both members and Jimin. We all know that Taehyung can be a bit of a loose cannon sometimes, even on national television, when it comes to Jimin.

Jungkook immediately commented that "it’s about friendship", Suga laughed nervously and loudly, as if he wanted to end the situation quickly, and Jin had a serious face that didn’t seem all too positive or eager about what would happen next.I'm not going to go into Jimin's reaction here, but rather Jin’s, since that’s what the anons were wondering about.

In my opinion, Jin doesn't like situations that slip into seemingly too private matters. He is definitely the kind of person who gives up the least private information. The situation with Vmin clearly didn't suit him. And not because Jin doesn't like Vmin (because that’s simply not true), but because he knew this program would be broadcast nationally and streamed worldwide, that it would be debated, that every word would be analyzed, and most importantly, because the team that recorded the show wasn’t their own but one that belonged to KBS. Jin doesn't want anyone to have access to BTS's private life, after all he even asked the You Quiz editors to cut what he saw as too sad/depressing about his answers so clearly he thinks about and considers many such things. I think Taehyung didn't care all that much, but Jin did care.

Perhaps I will go too far in my analysis and imagination here, but let's not forget that in the near future Jin is going to have to leave for his military enlistment in the highly conservative Korean army, which holds very homophobic views. Any shadow cast on any of the BTS members (even if some of them are already suspected to be queer) can endanger Jin or make it even more difficult for him to perform his service well and safely. The suspicion that two of the members might be in a relationship with each other would make Jin an accomplice, since they belong to the same group and would lead to him also being suspected of being queer, guilty by associating basically. This is my opinion at least.

Jin is the oldest and feels responsible for BTS, much the way Namjoon does as leader, for everyone including Taehyung, because Jin is aware of the wave of hatred that will be/is poured onto Taehyung across sns after such a public statement. According to Jin, in my humble opinion, this is neither the time nor the place to take such a step in such serious manner. As long as everything was done in form of jokes and witty answers, Jin was joining in and having fun, but when it was Tae's turn his face became serious, as if to warn Taehyung. Jin knew that "Taehyung's atmosphere" could/would fluster Jimin and the entire team, and could become the subject of rumors spread by the staff that isn’t their own.

So no, Jin’s reaction wasn’t because he hates vmin or anything like that, because that’s not true on any level, but because Taehyung’s words about liking Jimin the most were perhaps too sincere for the setting they were in, raising too many brows, and that’s potentially why he reacted the way he did. After all, if you watch the 5th Muster concerts, and especially the one in Seoul, when vmin stand at the very end together, Jin approaches them and throws water at them as though to pull them out of their bubble and back into reality. All in good fun and because he simply cares a lot about them.

Also, an alternative and even more simple answer could be that Jin’s face has no relation to anything I just said and doesn’t tell us anything about what he thought about Taehyung’s words. After all in some interviews he also just sits there quietly and watches/listens to the other members and that doesn’t mean anything at all, or at least nothing negative. But since you asked for my thoughts, here they are, though they don’t have to be right.

I actually have no idea what the reactions are to this show in Korea and among the general public, but I've seen the reactions to Tae’s words across various sns, which one of the anons also mentioned so I’d like to talk about those for a moment as well.

My hair stood on end when I read some of the responses/posts about Taehyung. I never thought that people who call themselves ARMY or fans of BTS would have such opinions about any of the members. A wave of hatred literally flooded Taehyung, like Admin 1 previously mentioned in their answer to an ask.

I just wanted to cry. It shocked me how far shipping can go (literally playing with actual, living people with no regard to their own words and thoughts) that it can cause such extreme emotions in "fans". It's hard to say which is more negative and alarming for some, Taehyung potentially really having (romantic and reciprocated) feelings for Jimin, Taehyung's feelings not being for the “right” person, or the mere fact that Taehyung's feelings are for a person of the same gender.

It’s also interesting to see how deceptive some are. I don’t even mean that “Taehyung and Jimin like each other most” is ignored, which it is, but rather that those mutual feelings were manipulated to twist them into a completely different direction and to another person, or turned into mere jokes or sarcasm. As if all of this simply never happened.

On the other hand, the fact that Jungkook unbuttoned his shirt before going on stage for “My Time”, as opposed to him not doing so during rehearsals, has become very important and an example of J*k*ok being in a relationship, how that’s now even clearer than ever before and is an indisputable fact, according to shippers. Apparently, J*k*ok were flirting with each other throughout the entire segment and show and only had eyes for each other. Somehow Jungkook imitating Jimin is the final piece of evidence to prove everything shippers ever claimed and thus, according to them, everyone must now see that they love each other romantically.

I've carefully watched this show three times, this particular segment and everything else too, and frankly I haven't seen anything that could be called anything even close to flirting when it comes to the two main ML ships. I'm mature and I think I know what flirting is and I can “read” the simplest human behavior, but I really couldn’t see any of it. In my opinion, Jungkook imitating Jimin is clear and open and not a secret. I fully understand Jungkook, I would also follow Jimin in his place :-) Jimin's dancing and looks, as well as his professional work ethic, are truly breathtaking, inspiring and worth imitating. However, this has absolutely nothing to do with romantic affection or a romantic relationship between them, in my opinion.

Hence, I fail to understand these behaviors which in turn lead to a wave of hatred against Taehyung and the, repeated, disregard, belittlement and erasure of Jimin’s and Taehyung’s friendship and relationship bond, and even some going as far as pretending anything vmin was simply not there at all just to make their ship seem more real, booo.