#i hate university (BIGGER lie)

[strxnged]

IM SO HOT

[mindswriters]

it’s your fault - toxic!bf!rafe cameron

summary: your boyfriend, Rafe, is always putting your relationship in fucked up situations, and every time you try to talk about it, he knows exactly how to convince you that the fault is actually yours.

word count: 1.7K

warnings: TOXIC RELATIONSHIP (i do not condone this behavior, this is all fiction), cursing, use of the words bitch and slut during an argument, argument itself, sexual innuendos at the end (oral m receiving), manipulation, this is purely toxic!rafe and love blind reader

“Hey babe, I’m home” Rafe announced entering our shared apartment.

 “Hi” you mumbled from your spot on the couch, not even glancing at him.

“Just ‘hi’? No ‘welcome home’, or ‘how was your day’, or greeting kisses?” he said while dropping his keys, trying not to sound rude, what made it sound like he was mocking you.

“Yes, just ‘hi’, Rafe” you talked back, getting up when he sat beside you.

“What’s gotten into you, huh?” he said in a more serious tone, frowning at your actions.

“I’m the one who should be asking you that. It’s almost midnight, Rafe, where were you at?” you asked, not wanting to show your full anger yet so you tried to maintain your tone calmer.

“What do you mean, babe?” he got up too to level his girlfriend “I was at the office, helping my dad, where else would I be?” he chuckled like it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

“Don’t bullshit me, Rafe, you know how I hate it when you lie” you scoffed rolling your eyes and turning your back so you wouldn’t be facing him.

“Lying, y/n, seriously? I’m sorry but I don’t know where this is coming from” he shook his head, nervously running his hand through his messy hair. He’s definitely lying.

“Oh really?” you didn't restrain yourself from changing your voice for a moment, being fast on reaching for your phone on the couch “If so then look at this and try to explain me if this looks like an office, or if Topper is now your dad, and if your job is doing lines of coke, because if you can’t make me recall that, then yes, you are lying” you stated with a fake laugh, showing him a picture in your gallery.

“Where did you got this, huh? Who’s sending you shit like these?” Rafe asked impatient, trying to grab the phone from your hands, but you were quicker in saving it on your back pocket.

“It doesn’t matter who sent this” you stated, this time staring directly at him.

“Yes, it does fucking matters. It was JJ, wasn’t it? That son of a bitch, I don’t think the Thorntons hired him to spy on people, do you? I hope he’s got food for the next month, cause he’ll need some time to find another job after I-” your boyfriend started pacing around and speaking non-sense even more angrily than before.

“Will you just shut up?” you interrupted him roughly, making him stop and face you “Can’t you see that the problem here is not who sent me this, or where the fuck you were? The problem is that you keep fucking lying to me, Rafe!” you spat the words at his face.

“Oh no, cut it, y/n, I don’t have patience for one more of your tantrums” he rolled his eyes, massaging the knot between his eyebrows.

“Of course, you don’t. When it comes to me the only thing you ever know is lies and more lies. You lie about where you’ve been, about who’s with you, about what you’re doing, you lie saying that you’re gonna stop drinking and stop snorting, and you still fucking do it every time! How am I supposed to trust our relationship like this, Rafe?” your voice breaking a little after your outburst of emotion, holding close to your chest your own fingers where you counted all of his mistakes.

“Okay, y/n, you wanna know the truth? That’s what you wanna hear to stop acting like a bitch?” he spat back, coming closer to your face. In the first months of your relationship you always got kind of intimidated by how bigger Rafe looks when compared to you, but now you created balls of courage to face him.

“Oh please, if you’d let me” you mocked faking a half smile, verbally ignoring that he called you a bitch but giving him a stare that could kill.

“Alright then, I really wasn’t at the office, I was with Topper, he called asking if I was up to have some good times and I agreed. We bought drinks and some coke and stayed there until now. Is it enough for you?” he explained staring at you and waited for your answer. It stung, hearing him say the truth like he didn’t cared about how fucked up it was.

“Why, Rafe, why would you do that? When you asked me to move in I thought you wanted to be closer to me, thought you wanted to have us as your priority” you have finally let your guard down, all your anger has now become disappointment, and it is completely perceptible in your eyes and your words.

“So, what now? Just because us is a priority I can’t spend some time with my old friends anymore?” he questioned arching his eyebrow.

“That’s not what I’m saying, Rafe” you sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing “What bothers me is that you could’ve told me, you know, sometimes is good to let your girlfriend know where you at, and who’s with you. But now I understand why you simply can’t do this, is because you’re a goddamn crackhead, who promises changes and nothing ever actually changes!” you ended up letting your nerves get the best of you, shouting at his face, and giving the slightest push you could to his chest.

“You watch your fucking mouth before talking shit about me again, alright? That’s the last time I’m gonna let it pass” he grabbed you hand that touched him and dropped it beside your heated body, warning you through gritted teeth.

“It’s always the last time, isn’t it? The last time you get drunk, last time you come home too late, last time you get high. I’m so fucking tired of this, Rafe” you rolled your eyes at him and stomped towards your room, hoping he wouldn’t follow you. Which of course, he did.

“You’re tired? Give me a break, y/n” he protested while following you in heavy steps “I’m the one who’s fucking tired here. I’m tired of working my ass off to give you decent living, I took you out of that shit hole in The Cut, I gave you a better life, better food, better clothes, everything you always wanted, and now I have to deal with your crazy outbursts every time I try to do something that does not include you? I’m sorry if while you’re having a princess life, getting your hair and nails done, I’m fucking stressing myself out with business shit to provide you the life you thought you deserved in your dreams” he said violently, waving his furious hands in the air and towards you, but never laying a finger on you.

“But why do you need to keep doing what you do? With the alcohol, and the drugs… that’s not what I want to you, baby. We could work this out together, we could do things for you too…” you practically pleaded this time, reaching out for him not in anger, but more carefully.

“No, baby, we couldn’t. And you wanna know why?” Rafe changed his tone like water to wine, making his words sound like the most kind question he’s ever made, and you nodded your head “It’s because you get on my nerves. I can’t work nothing out when I’m already stressed and listening to your whining just makes it worse. That’s why I need to get drunk, or high even, because that’s the only way I can ignore how tired you can make me sometimes. So, before getting mad, acting like a selfish little slut, and throwing your stupid tantrums, remember that if the way I act pisses you off, it is all your fault” he said it all calmly, in a low voice, caressing your cheek and finished with a sweet smile, looking into your eyes and watching how they watered with his words, while a small pout formed in your face.

“Get out” you whispered, voice breaking as you turned away from his grip to sit on your bed alone.

“Come on, babe, you’re not gonna start crying now, are you?” this time, it wasn’t like he was mocking you, he sounded serious, kind and loving.

“Get out, Rafe. I don’t wanna see you right now, I need to be alone” you repeated yourself gritting your teeth, keeping your eyes closed while a teardrop escaped from each one of them.  

“Nah, uh, uh, none of this, babe, come here, yeah?” he sat beside you, being fast to gently grip your waist and bring you to his lap “Look at me in the eyes… there you go, baby” he reassured you when you finally looked at him, freeing your face from some lose strands of your hair.

“Stop it, please” you mewled even though you had already gave in, just because part of you hates when he acts like that. Rafe’s never so sweet as he’s after a heated argument.

“No need, it’s okay now, huh? We’re okay, I forgive you, and I just told you that so you can get better, right?” he whispered shushing you, and using his rough yet delicate thumbs to wipe the tears that streamed down your face “We’re gonna get better, can I count on you? That you’re gonna get better?” he asked holding your face in both hands.

“Mhm- Yes, I’m sorry… that I stressed you” you whispered, looking away and shyly biting your lip to hold your little cries.

“It’s okay now, baby. You just gotta promise me this is not gonna happen again, yeah? Can you do that?” he pecked your lips, bringing you closer in his lap.

“Yeah, I promise, Rafe.” you sniffled and nodded slightly, earning a bright smile from him.

“That’s it, my good girl” the nickname forced a smile out of you “I knew you would understand me, cause that’s what you are, right? My good girl?” he said lowly between a sequel of kisses around your lips and your jaw.

“Yeah, yours” you nodded again, words escaping through heavy breaths.

“All mine” Rafe smiles again, before bringing his lips to the shell of your ear to whisper “Since you’re a good girl for me, why don’t you get on your knees and start making up from your little tantrum, huh?” he´s kind, but you know he’s ordering, so you have no other choice than obeying.  

[machiten]

thats my seat!

academic rival scaramouche x gn!reader headcanons

warnings: scaramouche(bro is a whole warning), foul language(it's scaramouche we're talking about here so), reader is mentioned to have bad eyesight, fights, angst, academic validation, bad parenting

barely proofread lmao im tired, it's 3:15 am and im starving. there will be a chapter 2 ofc i just wanted to post something goddamn my blog has been empty for so long (4 days) didn't have a way to keep track of the word count but it's kinda long. anyways hope u enjoy!!

oh god

when i say rival, i mean full on brawls on the school hallway

so let's say you've been top of your school since day one. your name has always been at the top of the score board every exam, always class representative, and well known as a smart kid ever since you steped on school premises.

you work hard to keep your grades up, your parents pay enough attention to your succesful brother and none for you

having a successful brother plants high expectations on you. i mean, he did very well, so why cant you? you both have the same blood running through your veins. your parent's praise, that is all you've ever wanted. and yet you're not even informed if there's a family outing, leaving you in your house alone

it has been like that for years

not until one day, you enter into the classroom and someone else is sitting in your chair. someone unfamiliar is sitting on your chair.

"hey, excuse me. i sit there." you pointed at what is supposed to be, your chair. "what, i dont see any names on it." Ok, what. when you finally look up to the culprit, my goodness. Fierce purple eyes that looks like it holds the entire universe, his skin as fair as a maiden, lips plum as a springs fruit, a beauty mark at the underside of his right eye, and his hair a unique color of indigo that is cut in a weird jellyfish-ish hairstyle. while yes, he looks ethereal, not gonna lie (if he had longer hair you might've mistaken him as a girl) his personality certainly does not match his elegance. an annoyed look currently adorned his face, as if you disturbed his peace.

"done checking me out? i know im hot, i get that look everyday so dont ever think you're special." and now it changed into a cocky smirk. the nerve! not only is he sitting on someone else's chair but it seems like his head is getting bigger too. "well excuse me, i havent seen your around school until today so im guessing that you're the transfer student our teacher talked about last week. but do you mind finding a new spot, i sit there." you glared at him.

"no i like it here. here's a better idea, why don't you find a new spot. im the new student here, show some courtesy."

"no- what, go away thats my seat!"

"alright everyone, settle down- oh, i see that the new student is here already," the teacher finally came in the classroom, cup of steaming hot coffee in his hand. Everyone sat down on their seats while you are still standing up waiting for this person to look for another seat. Lmao guess what, he didnt move.

"(name), c'mon sit down. i know getting a new friend is exiting but we have to greet the new student properly. now go find your seat."

"wait but sir--"

"sit down, (name)"

"yeah that's right (name), sit down" a voice beside you spoke. you looked over to the new student adorning a triumphant grin at your loss. and so you are now forced to sit at the back, barely seeing what's in front because of your poor eyesight, and wearing a vengeful spirit.

epic first meeting

the seats in the back are okay, its breezy and you now sit next to xiao (his music taste is so good) but yeah, you cant really see the board clearly so you get notes from mona at the front

at first, it was a one sided rivalry. how hated how rude and bratty he was and at that time, he didnt seem too care (like he get those everyday). but then he started fighting back and oh boy he hasn't had this much fun in years!

the way you retort back to his harsh words is so amusing to him. usually, no one would dare talk to him in a degrading manner but then you came into his life, claiming that he's sitting on your chair, and it was never the same ever again.

now, he looks forward to everyday. he rises up earlier so that he can sit at your chair first, he keeps looking at the classroom door everytime someone enters (in case it's you so that he can give that shit eating grin), he loves how your face gets messed up when he wins an argument, he loves how small your hands are compared to his when you have a brawl in the hallways, and most of all, he loves it when you give him the shit eating grin when you win something (he says he let's you win sometimes because he pitied you, but is it really?)

to him, this is fun, amusing, entertaining. but to you? you've never felt this much hate in a human being, ever.

scaramouche is smart as fuck and he demonstrated that loud and clear

he aced the math test that the teacher gave that wasn't even taught to him

in presentations, he speaks loud and clear and you can really understand the point he's making

he doesn't really like group works (you noticed) but if he was put in a group, he does most of the job flawlessly

sports? oh of course. he's really good at baseball (pitcher). he's also good at other sports but not as good as baseball

oh and pray that you don't get him as your opponent in debates, you will be grilled like a brisket

did i mention he sleeps in like 70% of his classes? it's not like the teachers can do anything about it. he excels in everything, at least let him sleep as a gift

the only times he would be awake is when he pulls on your strings

but of course, you're also good in all of these, that's why you both are rivals

you fight almost everyday for the top spot (and for your original seat) to the point where its a daily routine to everyone else to see you both pinching and arguing in the classroom

He doesn't have any close friends (ahem childeahem) and it's either bc ppl are intimidated by him or he just doesnt give a fuck about friends

maintaining grades is one thing, winning against him is another

you are very intellegent, yes, but you work very hard for your grades every night. losing sleep studying for upcoming quizes and making sure your projects are perfect. unlike him who doesnt even try

you havent seen him study once

and it makes you see yourself lower. you're both equally in par with your grades but thats when he doesn't even try. what happens when he takes everything seriously? what if he studies as hard as you do? where will you stand then?

but when you got 2nd place for the 3rd time this year, he took it too far

"what the hell?! this is the third time!" you looked at the results in the bulletin board expecting to see your name in first place. you studied hard, right? so then why,,,

"oh oops, looks like i did a little too well again this time. aw and i didn't even answer some of the questions because i felt bad for beating you the last two times." a snicker is heard behind you and sure enough, piercing indigo eyes is looking at yours in pure pity. "thanks i guess. are you happy now? that's three times in a row!" aether beside you is now having a deadpan expression, expecting the worst. 'alright here we go again'.

"oh yes very, you know what makes me even happier? your declaration that you're inferior to me. why do you even try anyways, it's clear to everyone that im better. you're just wasting your time burying your head in your books and notes when we both already know who's coming at the top. imagine not meeting your parent's expectations." he's now looking down on you, beating you up with words that you know damn well are true. but that doesn't mean you're not gonna fight back.

"what."

"oh you know, maybe if you tried harder, the cost of your education might be worth it for your parents. honestly, if i we're them id--"

before he could finish his sentence, a loud echoing smack is heard all across the hallway, making everyone's attention turn to the commotion. scaramouche head is now turned the other way, his cheeks beginning to flare from the hit as he glared at the culprit, you. "you motherfucking bitc-!" you tackled him and due to surprise, he fell back. aether is now alert, shouting your name trying to get you to your senses.

you gripped scramouche's collar, rasing his head from the floor and slamming it back down. "you're an asshole, you know that?! i try my best everyday and this is what i get?!!" he fights back, hand on your arm that's trying to get a hold of his hair and another on your neck, holding back your weight.

"you don't know what it's like!! you will never know what it's like being compared to your brother everytime they get a chance!! you dont know what it's like going home to nothing but words of disappointment when you did everything you can to get their approval!! you will never know what it's like for your efforts to go to waste!! you will never know the feeling of being kicked out of your own home and live in a run down apartment!! i work day and night, i lose sleep everyday, i barely have anything for myself to live, and now i have to deal with your ass every single day too?!!"

"(name)! calm down, hey-!"

"fuck off aether!"

every word you spat pricked scaramouche's heart and made him struggle from your assaults. this isn't fun anymore. he knew a bit of your situation, kazuha told him. but he never knew it was this bad. all he knew is about your parent's expectations. he didn't even attempt to fight back this time and just defends himself from your blows. 'shit, i took it too far.'

"you dont have to remind me of my incompetence! i already know, i know damn well i will never be enough!! you're right, why do i even try, right?! you're so fucking annoying, doing everything so effortlessly, like school is a nuisance!! can't i take a fucking break?!!" at this point, you cannot control your tears from falling into his cheeks, rolling down his porcelain skin.

"what are you--?!"

"why can't i be a genius like you?! why dont i have everything that you have?!! i did everything i can, what am i doing wrong?!" you are now saying intangible words that no one can decipher because of the mess of emotions you are feeling at that moment. you're about to deliver another blow when someone held you back.

"(name)! you're doing too much! thats enough!!" goddamn she is stronger than i thought, scaramouche deals with this everyday?? aether pulled you away from the tangled mess that you and scaramouche managed to create. you're struggling his hold but after a bit, you slumped down having no more strength to keep going, sobbing quietly. "...(name)?" aether said.

"...i am so tired of everything, why do i even keep trying. i.. i just want to make my parents proud..." sniffles could be heard from where you are being held my aether's arms. aether supported you from the groud and led you away from the scene and the prying eyes of other students. before you both can disappear completely, aether turned around and gave scaramouche a threatening glare. "i know you both bicker a lot but you took it too far. you are an asshole and you better change that attitude of yours or i will send you home even worse than your condition right now." and you both are gone.

scaramouche is still sitting on the floor, his arm supporting his weight, bruises are forming in his skin while he's craddling his cheek that is now very noticeably red and flaring from the slap you served him earlier. he doesn't know how to act, really. should he apologize? should he just walk away and like nothing happened? should he report you for physical abuse? he didn't know anything.

what he does know though is that he fucked up, big time. he knows that you'll never want to see his face ever again, he knows that nothing will be the same again, and he knows thag the feelings he has will never be reciprocated, after what he's done.

he actually just found out recently, when someone from the other class was making fun of you and he didn't like it one bit, he's the only one allowed to make fun of you, everyone back off. scaramouche can see the crowd dissipating, no longer interested since the main action is gone. he sat there on the floor the whole time, rethinking his life choices, wondering if he said things differently instead of those. would he be seeing you tomorrow? will you still argue with him about nonsensical bullshit? can he still hold your hand whenever you pinch him?

he heard footsteps and before he can look up, someone had smacked him in the head.

"what the fuck-!!"

"i want to say 'are you okay', but to be honest you kinda deserved that." a mop of ginger can bee seen hanging from someone's head.

"fuck off childe, and why did you smack me?!"

"because you deserve it. but y'know, it's nice having front row seats seeing you ruin your life because of that toungue of yours. aether's right you're an ass." he helped scaramouche from the floor, dusting his uniform from the filth. "ill take you to the infirmary." scaramouche can only nod, feeling lethargic after all that energy spent.

he hopes to see you the next day, acting like nothing ever happened.

part 2

[sokkastyles]

This is something I've turning around in my mind due to the general discourse around Katara "hating" Zuko, and obviously she doesn't hate him at all after TSR, but do you think she truly even /hated/ him after Ba Sing Se? She was absolutely within her right to be hurt and angry about his choice, and I'm glad the show actually let her hold onto that for awhile b/c so often K has to be the bigger person and manage everyone else's emotions, but being hurt and angry at someone, even lashing out at them b/c of that, isn't the same thing as hating them imo. Like tbh their entire vibe to me from the moment Zuko turns up at the Western Air Temple until TSR is exes after a bad breakup but there's still unresolved feelings there, which was certainly an interesting writing choice for them to go with (only made more so by the textbook romance writing grovelling in TSR.)

Yeah, she isn't mad at him because she hates him, she's mad at him because she cares about him, because she wanted to care about him, and because she thought he cared about her. Even when she tells the gaang that Zuko was "pretending to be a human being" in the catacombs, it gives the impression that she is trying to convince herself that what she's saying is true, that the moment they shared and the vulnerability Zuko showed in that moment wasn't real.

The other thing that gives the lie to the idea that Katara hates Zuko or just sees him as an enemy is that when she confronts him when they are alone, and threatens him, she doesn't react to him like she thinks he's lying about wanting to do the right thing, she confronts him about how "you and I both know you've struggled with doing the right thing in the past." In front of everyone else, she makes it seem like she thinks Zuko is just evil, but when she's alone with him, she makes it clear that she knows he isn't, and that this is really about how she can't trust him, how he broke her trust. It's personal, not just about him being fire nation.

And the fact that she waited to tell him this in private, while denying her feelings in public, is absolutely romantic coded. I've also pointed out before that the framing of the confrontation mirrors the final scene between Zuko and Mai (or rather, that the Zuko and Mai scene, which is explicitly romantically coded, mirrors this one), Katara standing in the doorway to interrupt Zuko's triumphant moment with a reminder that his past isn't so easily moved past, and a reminder of who he's hurt. It absolutely gives vibes of an ex who you still have feelings for.

Which is why it's hilarious that Bryke made that comment about zutara being a relationship you experience before realizing what you really need (with the implication that Katara really needs Aang and Zuko really needs Mai), because what it actually feels like is two people who were immediately drawn to each other, ended up hurting each other, broke it off, but then still had feelings for each other and ended the series closer than they were before. If Bryke really wanted us to think zutara were not good for each other, then there could have been a moment where, when Zuko and Katara get their closure with each other, there's also the G-rated equivalent of "let's just be friends." Maybe have Katara say something like, "I forgive you, but I can't make the choice you want me to make." This is also in an alternate universe where Zuko more explicitly encourages Katara to kill Yon Rah. But none of that happens. The episode does not tell us that Zuko is not good for Katara or vice versa. It has Katara end the episode by explicitly disagreeing with Aang and enthusiastically embracing Zuko without any hesitation at all.

That hug is so meaningful because it's the release of tension that the narrative has been building up since that moment in the catacombs. It's not that Katara hated Zuko but now cares about him, it's that she wanted to care about him way back in the catacombs and now she's able to express that without being afraid that he'll break her trust.

[pianocat939]

Okay, I'll just type out some background information for my planet idea before the actual indugence.

So as a I explained before, the people of the planets + Sun control their respective planet and keep the solar system in balance as much as possible.

Now, there is an unofficial rivalry between the rock planets and gaseous planets. The rock planets want to introduce civilization into other planets to construct more events for their history. (It's literally Earth and Mars being like yes and then poor Mercury and Venus are dragged along).

The gaseous planets don't want this at all. They want to keep the calm, stable world they have already.

Meanwhile, the Sun doesn't care as long as they're the center of the universe.

——————————————————

Okay, now onto more individual background information:

Mercury:

She hates everyone except Venus kind of type. Mostly because the other planets make fun of her size a lot. Venus is the only one she looks up to, and views kind of like an older sibling.

Thoughts on MC (Saturn): She thinks they're more tolerable than the others. But admits their prominent rings are really eye-catching. Finds it annoying when Venus is all pick me girl to them though.

Her thoughts and votes aren't noticed as much as the other planets when they make interplanet decisions. She's sad that they don't notice her individuality.

Venus:

True beauty queen and is very nice. But I won't lie, she likes to flirt with other planets a lot, even intergalactic ones. But if you ever need emotional support, she's there.

Thoughts on MC: Head over heels for them. Constantly flirting, and always trying to look her best in hopes they'll bat an eye for her. Will be a pick me sometimes because of them.

She doesn't agree with the whole civilization campaign that Earth and Mars have going on but prefers to avoid conflict. But also doesn't want to be targeted by humans...

Earth:

Kind of the cause of all problems for the solar system except maybe the Sun. They can be a narcissist at times but not as bad as the Sun. Earth is constantly sending out exploration journeys which the planets don't like.

Thoughts on MC: Thinks they're a fascinating planet that needs to be learned more about. They will constantly ask questions about MC, eating up any detail about their planet.

They've been conducting secret plans with Mars...

Mars:

Pretty smug and confident. Thinks he's the most attractive colour out of all the planets, but unlike Venus, doesn't flirt. Instead, he's more power-hungry. Which is why he's joined in Earth's campaign in hopes he can conquer Saturn especially.

Thoughts on MC: Although Saturn may be much bigger than him, Mars thinks they would be perfect partners. He may be small, but he can pick them up easily for sure. (Size isn't extremely important, but between the two groups there is a difference). Wouldn't you want a warmer planet snuggled into your side?

Althought genuinely thinks Earth as a friend, he hopes to leave them as soon as he gets to have Saturn by his side.

Jupiter:

BIG DADDY- /j

He's literally not that different in age from the other gaseous planets but puts himself in the role as the protector. He is the biggest one and is the most powerful of the planets other than maybe Earth's sneaky little humans.

Thoughts on MC: Finds himself liking the fact they're not that much smaller than him, but still finds them cute. If you thought he's all wholesome, you're wrong. He gets extremely possessive of them and will try to protect them from the rock planets.

Finds Neptune and Uranus annoying sometimes but kinda likes the weird family role they have built as gaseous planets.

Saturn (MC):

(Now I'm just putting this down so MC can have some defined traits. So sorry if this isn't how you act! [and to be fair, I don't act like this either]).

The mom/big sibling of the gaseous planets. They try to be positive for the other 3 considering the rivalry going on. But they don't agree with the campaign at all. They enjoy the peaceful environment they have.

Despite everybody loving their rings, can get a little self-conscious from how much they stand out.

Uranus:

Neptune's twin brother. Think of him as like an annoying middle schooler or that one cousin you absolutely want to murder. He loves annoying every planet, but especially Jupiter. Is self-conscious on his weirdness occasionally.

Thoughts on MC: Absolutely indulges in the fact MC is willing to dote on him. He will puposely mismanage his planet or get hurt in hopes they'll coddle him. Especially in front of his sister.

He works very hard trying to figure out Earth's and Mars' plans.

Neptune:

The calm one of the twins. She's quiet most of the time but will passionately throw up an argument if she thinks Earth is doing some shady shit. But mostly keeps her points to the gaseous planets. She loves talking to her fellow gaseous members.

Thoughts on MC: Thinks of them as a perfect rolemodel. She has rings too (all gaseous planets do) and wants them to be as prominent as Saturn's. She likes to talk about what they did that day or what they love to do.

Has a one-sided rivalry with Venus. Wants to become the most beautiful planet so that Saturn will see her as someone to look at.

Sun:

He is the irresponsible father who will go on vacations randomly. He will only talk with the planets if he has to prove he's better than them or wants to flirt with Saturn.

Thoughts on MC: Finds them small and cute. Thinks their rings match with his burning flames. Wishes they would stop being so fixiated on keeping peace though. What better peace is there than to chill with him?

Finds Earth to be the most annoying little brat and kind of wants to burn humanity alive.

I don't want to reveal any info of my thoughts on their yan personalities yet, but this is for some ideas on how their personalities are like.

Just so there's no confusion: MC is genderneutral for audience purposes, but Earth is in fact nonbinary. (I kind of thought that becuase they have humans living with them, they aren't contorted to one gender).

I haven't really figured out the lore yet for moons, but for now I'll say they're kind of the assistants of the planets.

If you have any thoughts or ideas, you can send way, but until then, I will keep planning my idea for yan planets. (I do gobble up ideas though I admit)

[laines-laments]

Speaking of firstborns😭 I couldn't really find a post with rules so sorry if this is outta ur comfort zone, but a while ago I read this REALLY good fanfic where Veronica actually got pregnant from JD and had to go through being a teen mom with depression and trauma(the narrative hates our girl🩷) so I was thinking of like maybe Veronica x her kid reader? Or just your thoughts on what kinda mom she would be, whatever ur comfortable with :3

How Veronica Would Be As a Teem Mom (PG 13)

Veronica Sawyer x Daughter! Reader

c/w - Death ( Jason Dean), Murder, Suicide (kinda implied ? its heathers), Teen Pregnancy

a/n - AHHHHHHH Veronica would be such a good mom i'm convinced. poor girl cannot catch a break though

wc - 555 (sorry it's so short)

(gif not mine)

When JD pulled his little "blowing himself up in the school parking lot" stunt Veronica had no clue she was pregnant, i mean, the girl had bigger issues at had.

So imagine her shock horror when she learns that she's pregnant with her (now) dead, murderer of and ex boyfriend.

Suffice to say- the girl was freaked.

She tried hiding it for a while, after all, teen pregnancy was bad enough but being pregnant by a dead man ? She was terrified, with no support.

Eventually, after countless mornings of being woken up by Veronica throwing up, her mother confronted her and asked if she could be pregnant.

Veronica IMMEDIATELY bursts into tears and tells her mom.

Veronica's mom is surprisingly accepting. especially by late 80's-early 90's standard.

She decided to not move away for college until after you were born and had gotten a little older, opting to enroll in a local community college. (her father said the free credits would be better for her before any big expensive college anyways)

Fast forward a few months and boom! there's you!

Veronica had never really interacted with babies before, she'd been an only child her entire life, of course.

But the moment she held you for the first, it was an instant click

Everything about being a mother came so naturally to her, and even though she was initially bummed about having to post-pone her dreams of attending a big university like Duke or Brown, she wouldn't trade you for the world.

She's so kind and nurturing towards you, if not a bit over protective.

She'd seen first hand how dark and cruel the world could be and she'd be damned if she let anyone or anything hurt you.

She'd often invite Heather Mac to come over and spend time with you and her when her parents were away and couldn't help with you

"What if i don't like school?" You asked, kicking your feet back and forth as you stared out the backseat window.

"You'll love school, honey." Veronica reassured you, glancing back at you through the rearview mirror. "Just think of all the new friends you'll make!"

You let out a small huff, crossing your arms over your chest. "But what if they don't want to be my friends?" You pout, pushing out your lower lip as Veronica pulled in to the preschool's parking lot.

"Sissy-bug, why wouldn't they wanna be your friend?" Veronica asked as she got out of the car, moving to come and unbuckle you from your car seat. "You're the coolest girl i know."

You eyes shot up with a soft gleam of joy, smiling up at your mother as you clung to her shirt as she picked you up from the seat and planted you down onto the pavement. "Really? You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it!" She said, grasping your tiny hand with one hand and reaching for your backpack with the other. "Would mama ever lie to you?"

You giggled, shaking your head as you reached up to grab your bag out of her hand, slinging it over your left shoulder.

"That's what I thought!" Veronica said with a grin, turning towards the school's entrance and tugging gently on your arm. "Now, come on! we don't want you being late on your first day, do we?"

[treatmelikewhitetees444]

Life is good. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Not even gonna lie with y'all, the Universe is my Sugar /Daddy. Universe been treating me tew damn good y'all!!! Remember when i was talking shit and sulking around about how i said i fucking hated my "step-dad"? Bitch, weeks later my mom hit her breaking point and she kicked him out!!! We moved houses and he can't even be in this state anymore or he'll go to jail!!! 😂 Long story short, my moms job paid her extra and she filed a divorce, now she gets even more money and child support from him every month!!

Plus my room looks similar to these pics and they were inspo for my dream life at the start of the month: (lots of hello kitty cause we luv her.)

Yall if i can get all this shit in the span of a few weeks why the heck can't you??? Bae, WORK ON THAT SELF CONCEPT AND LOA, I PROMISE YOU YOU'LL GET IT!!!

"I am on to bigger things - Doja Cat"

𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐲 𝐔𝐠𝐡, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰, 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐞 '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞

𝐈-𝐓 𝐆-𝐈-𝐑-𝐋 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐒𝐡𝐡, 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 (𝐇𝐚-𝐡𝐚, 𝐡𝐚-𝐡𝐚-𝐡𝐚) 𝐈𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐓𝐋 𝐈, 𝐈-𝐓 𝐆-𝐈-𝐑-𝐋 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐒𝐡𝐡, 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡, 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐈𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐀𝐓𝐋

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞, '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈'𝐦 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐭, 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡? 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭? (𝐇𝐮𝐡?) 𝐁𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, '𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐢𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧' 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭

[crescentrivers]

I wrote down my thoughts while I watched working boys and so I don’t make a million posts about it here’s just everything I wrote, under the cut because it’s a little long and cause spoilers

I never really understood the obsession with minor background characters some HF fans have until now, Hailey ily

It takes balls kind of goes hard but that’s only because all the singers are incredible

The reveal that Hidgens getting struck by lightning was how the workin boys died was insane. I actually wasn’t aware the workin boys died until the pit stop in Hatchetfield stream I thought they were fine until getting infected in TGWDLM. RIP the mark chastity is workin boys Mark joke headcanon

Why is Grace even watching the show if she thinks it’s about hookers??? also is Grace friends with Richie and Ruth in this timeline

Everyone is so good at singing aaaaaaaaa

Also can I point out how Hidgens gets more and more deranged every time we see him? Like he was a little crazy in TGWDLM then ape-man happened, and now this. He’s on a downward spiral and I love it

Workin Boys is clearly very personal to Hidgens him saying it’s loosely based on personal experiences is such a lie. He listens to the girls’ AMAZING singing and then says everything is horrible because it’s not like his boys

Are the zombies their real ghosts or is Pokey being silly. The blue lighting isn’t helpful in me figuring this out.

Hidgens is gay for Chad (we kind of already knew that but it’s just more obvious now)

Okay this is definitely Pokey’s fault I doubt the workin boys are that evil cause they’re suggesting he kills or something

Poor Ruth, would yall hate me if I said this made me feel more sympathy for her than just for once (maybe my opinion will change if I rewatch NPMD but this is how I feel right now) just for once is a good song though

The girls are incredible singers please don’t let them die

I won’t stand for this Hailey abuse

HES GONNA KILL THEM OH NO

RUTH PLEASE LIVE RICHIE IS IN THE CROWD HES YOUR FRIEND (and I think Grace is her friend in this timeline too???)

Oh that’s some gore

Linda saying good about the actresses being dead-

The Starlight Theatre is small actually (I know that’s probably just budget things and it’s bigger in universe but it’s interesting to think about considering the touring production of mamma Mia went there)

Ted got shot in the head like in TGWDLM

Grace saying wow after shooting him. She’s a little bloodthirsty in every timeline I think

The gore??? It’s crazy

Grace saves people from deranged killers but ends up becoming a deranged killer herself, this is becoming a running theme in the timelines

(She doesn’t know about the LIB in this timeline so maybe things will be fine this time but I don’t trust that)

Linda clapping at the end of the show-

I’m sad about Ruth dying and I’m sad that her friend(s) were in the audience too

This leaves me with more questions than answers about the zombies, like I’m assuming blaming Pokey is reasonable but we also don’t know so-

Rip Ruth rip Hailey rip the rest of the girls rip the workin boys rip Ted rip Hidgens

All the songs are great also

[nightswithkookmin]

I'm replying you here cos your choice of words might rub others the wrong way and get you in trouble when you are already feeling down.

First off, hugs.

Second, I hear you. I understand you are annoyed because he couldn't take 1 second of his time to openly congratulate Jimin yet here he is on live at Jk's house fueling dating rumors amidst Face promotions.

Truth be told, it pisses me off too when BTS don't act civil towards eachother. They are friends sure but they have a professional relationship too and not expressing that professional courtesy towards eachother stirs my anger for real. They are ruining the script ruining the fantasy and vision of friendship I have for them😒

But that's a me problem. They don't owe me anything.

They are grown adults free to do whatever they want and express themselves in whatever way they want.

Similarly, you are free to like them or not like them too.

You don't have to force yourself to like something you don't.

I personally prefer Jimin as a bias because I like everything about him. His thoughtfulness, his kindness, his honesty and sincerity, his emotional intelligence, and the fact he tries to be a good human day in day out.

As much as I love Jungkook and the others I can't with the ghetto. I just can't. I would drag the hell out of them, nag and complain all the time when they act insensitivly towards others and without considering the impact of their actions on others. I mean I be dragging Jimin too sometimes so why not others😆

Take Tae for instance not saying shit bout Face for one- oh I'm finna drag him across the parameters of the universe I'm just waiting till the dust settle😌

Is that how soulmates behave towards a soulmate?😒

I like Jimin the most- mehn I'm so sick of this fakey love. FAKE LOVE. fakkey love. FAKE LOVE. I'm so sorry but it's fakkey love. "Cussing in Korean melody"

I'm tired of people paying lip service and not backing up their words with actions I'M SICK OF IT.

You love him, you love him. AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SUPPORT HIM. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE NEEDED ALL PJMS ON BOARD.

WHY YALL BE DISGRACING ME OUT HERE

SO GHETTO AND FOR WHAT

You know what. Imma need you in the boxing ring sir

This is for Jimin.

This is for Jin. Don't think I forgot.

AND ON TOP OF IT ALL HE'S OUT THERE POSTING HIS WOOGA SQUAD AND OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT

THAT JUST HURT NOT GONNA LIE

Everyday I go on his page I'm holding my breathe cos I know I'm gonna see something that's gonna break mi heart😔

His friendship with Jungkook is the only good thing happening right now for me so you see when you come into my Ask and complain about it I get really confused.

On top of him shitting on my Bangtan friendship goals, vmin lesbian agenda, Taejin senpai you want him to shit on Tae kook too?? Now ma'm💀💀💀💀

I'm more terrified of him deciding not to Bangtan anymore and running off to form a band with his wooga squad 🥴

I already lost one direction I'm not gonna lose BTS😭

The world can't lose BTS😭😭😭😭😭

And we can't have a BTS reunion if the members hate each other or feel disconnected from one another so much they decide they've found their calling else where. I'm terrified Suga and Tae might not want to come back to the group- Don't ask me why. It's just a fear I have. So as much as I hate tuktukkers, I have bigger concerns.

I'm glad to see and hear Jungkook wildcard making efforts to connect with the members. He's initiating contact, inviting them to his place- THAT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S GOOD. IT MEANS THERE'S NO BAD BLOOD AND DRAMA BREWING ANYWHERE.

I'm happy to see Tae showed up with Hobi- Makes me wonder where Park Jimin was and what he was doing and why he didn't show up 👀

We could have had this. JM blocked our blessings 😩

I will miss Hobi for this😔

He's always there for his members when they need him. Such a beautiful human soul.

Guys sometimes lets pause and smell the roses and enjoy the little moments.

Hobi will soon be gone and we might not see him show up in lives like this anymore. If Jk is feeling lonely and he reaches out he might only have Tae to show up for him😔

Now imagine if Tae is gone too😭

Tae might not be doing this for others we wish he would do for, but I think he has since their Solo been a good friend to Jk. And he's been consistent with it. He's always there for him. Perhaps because more than anyone else, he knows and understands whatever JK is struggling with post their Solo announcement.

Jimin used to be like that too you know. I keep saying jm and Tae are very similar in some regards.

And I think this is better than him being snobbish towards Jk and acting passive aggressively towards him or blatantly telling him no like he said he did in soop when Jk asked him out for drinks🥴

Those days were wild.

While I don't think tuktuk are dating, I think they have a very good friendship these days. One that ought to be admired not shit on. We are not tuktukkers. Remember that.

But I take your comments about him doing all this to deliberately fuel drama seriously. I'll look into it. Just know that he's a bit of a troll🤣

If it gets on your nerves so much then it's usually a sign you are being trolled hard🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If not then sis you just might be a hater in which case I can't help you💀

[hyacinth-sims]

Be Okay

Summary: Tybalt practices for his first piano recital in seven years, and comes to realize what makes it much more emotionally challenging than it needs to be. At least there’s someone to help him pick up the pieces this time.

Warnings: None

Pairings: (Established) Tybalt Capp/Mercutio Monty

Word Count: 3.2k

Author’s Note: okay after hurting them so much they get to be cute together are you happy???!!!! although i’d say it’s more hurt/comfort for tybalt, but worry not mercutio will also get his hurt/comfort moment soon! also tybby is a bit ✨softer✨ here since they’re already dating, granted idk how long they’ve been dating but! i tried to keep a lot of his attitude just y’know…less outright mean since they’re bfs and not enemies here 😭 also i will probs publish the mercutio hurt/comfort piece later this week but after that i’m gonna take a short break cause y’all i have less than a month of this semester left and the struggle is REAL!!!! i’ve got so much shit due every week oml! also yes vendetta has not been forgotten about, but it’s a bigger piece so it’s gonna take some time to plan out. i don’t know if these one shots are “in” the vendetta universe so to say, but we’ll see! 

In exactly one month and one week, Tybalt Capp would have his first piano recital since his mother died. The last time he’d performed on a stage, in front of an audience, had been seven years ago. He was on the cusp of 19 years old now, and the last time had been about three months before the fire. For seven years, he wasn’t quite ready to face another audience—to look out into the crowd and not see his mother’s smile staring back at him. But he wanted to perform on that stage one last time before he was set to graduate for her. 

He was performing two pieces, Nocturne No. 8 by Chopin and Liebestraum No. 3 by Liszt. Chopin was his mother’s favorite composer, and Nocturne No. 8 was her favorite work of his. There was no question about whether he wanted to perform it in her memory; it was only right for him to do so. His second piece was a personal choice, as Liszt, on the other hand, was his favorite composer. He thought about performing La Campanella as it had been burned in his brain from having to perform it in front of his grandfather and his associates, but he wanted to give himself a challenge and learn a brand new piece. 

Liebestraum was also a considerably romantic piece, the title directly translating to Love Dream. He initially told himself that it would fit with the theme of Nocturne No. 8, as that was the song that led his parents together. However, it would be a lie to say that he hadn’t been feeling particularly…mushy lately. 

He wasn’t sure if he would call Mercutio Monty his boyfriend; it seemed like an oversimplification. They also hadn’t exactly talked about things such as labels or terms, but Tybalt didn’t mind much either way. It wouldn’t change anything about what or how they were anyway. 

Mercutio didn’t come to the Capp manor often, but it had nothing to do with whether or not Tybalt wanted him there. Patrizio and Isabella catching Tybalt at the Monty ranch would likely be quite bad, but Grandfather catching Mercutio at the Capp manor? All hell would break loose. 

Grandfather was out of town for a business conference, though, and his sisters were having a sleepover at Miranda’s home. He knew he needed to practice for his recital, but being in a secret relationship due to the fact that your families hate each other has taught Tybalt that every potential moment should be taken advantage of. Besides, Mercutio seemed quite enthusiastic about watching Tybalt play the piano. He did ask to be serenaded, though, which Tybalt refused. 

He let the final notes ring out, cursing himself for the minor mistake he had made prior. “Sounds just as good the sixth time,” Mercutio teased—sitting in a backward dining chair he had pulled up to the piano. He rested his chin on his folded arms, placed on top of the back of the chair. 

“Measure 51 was sloppy,” Tybalt commented with a slight huff, flipping over the sheet music to review as he furrowed his brow. He could practically hear his grandfather commenting on all the tiny mistakes he’d made in his head despite his absence. “I’ve done better before. I need to iron out the mistakes,” He grumbled as he grabbed his pen from the piano desk—circling measure 51 for future reference. 

“You’re overthinking it,” Mercutio answered, shrugging his shoulders. “If you keep looking for mistakes, you’re just going to make more,” He added, “Brute forcing it will just burn you out.” 

There was nothing he hated more than Mercutio being right, so much so that verbally admitting he was right was a difficult challenge. Tybalt was trying, though, choosing to silently put aside the sheet music for Chopin and replacing it with Liszt. It earned a small smirk from Mercutio that was answered with a scowl from Tybalt.

He took his time to look over the sheet music before even pressing on a single key. It wasn’t the most challenging piece he’d ever played, but it wouldn’t be a walk in the park either. Tybalt took a deep breath in before exhaling and playing the initial few notes. It was a ritual for him, an attempt to release all of the expectations and pressure—choosing to let the music take over instead. Did it work? Not very often, but it was nice to try. 

He hadn’t practiced his recital performance in front of his grandfather, not after an argument between Juliette and their grandfather a few weeks prior. It wasn’t often that his sisters witnessed his piano practice, but Juliette just so happened to be doing her homework in the living room. She must’ve been watching his hands as he ceased for his grandfather to point out every little mistake he’d made—and much to both of their surprise, Juliette yelled at Grandfather. It was rare for any of them to stand up to him. For being quite the hothead typically, Tybalt had never once raised his voice at his grandfather. 

Juliette said that Tybalt needed a break, as they’d been going for 3 hours at that point—repeating the same section of the same piece over and over. She pointed out his shaking hands, his tired eyes, and the fact he looked as if he was on the verge of breaking to pieces. When they were alone, Juliette suggested Tybalt practice independently for a while—to be free of their grandfather’s criticism. 

But he wondered if he would ever be able to get better without him watching over his shoulder like a hawk, pinpointing every tiny mistake he made throughout. Much of Tybalt’s determination and improvement came from wanting to make his grandfather proud, wanting to prove to him that he could be the best and that he was worth something to their family. After a performance, ranging from child to teenager, from stage to party, Tybalt always sought out his grandfather’s face first. He wanted to see just a hint of a smile, a quirk of his lips, anything that would show that he was satisfied. 

His eyes stared down at his fingers intently, watching as they danced around the keys. It was similar to how he would watch his mother as a child. Her playing was always so elegant, so gentle—something that never quite came naturally to Tybalt. Tybalt played the piano as if it were anger management, freeing all of the negative emotions that weighed heavy on his mind. It was brilliant for pieces such as the 3rd movement of Moonlight Sonata or Allegro Barbaro, but awkward when attempting to play things romantic and soft—another two adjectives that did not exactly align with Tybalt. 

He was trying, though; he was really trying. He was trying not to be so hardened, so closed off, so defensive. Every single day, he remembered his grandfather’s speech about the dangers and destruction of love, and every single day, he started to feel as if it was the truth. The question remained if he would prefer to protect himself from the pain or risk it all for the happiness his mother spoke of. 

Although perhaps the true question was if he deserved to love and be loved at all. He’d ruthlessly pushed away anyone who ever got close, no matter who they were. If they ever tried to pry, he would hurl insults until they no longer held any interest. He was the antithesis of everything his mother hoped for him to be, in favor of trying to fit his grandfather’s expectations. 

Good people were the ones who deserved love, like his mother and father, who were willing to stand against his grandparents to fight for their love. Like his sisters, who stand proud for their family but would never allow it to overtake their own morals and beliefs. Like Mercutio, who seemed to believe that his purpose in life was to make everybody around him happy—he deserved to be happy himself.

It felt like no matter what he did, he was always going to be disappointing someone. His grandfather, his sisters, the memory of his parents—he would never be as great as he wanted to be for them. 

There wasn’t a missed note, a stuttered section, a wrong key, not a single thing out of place. But none of it felt right. The way he was playing, the sound, everything was off. He stopped in his tracks, a half note playing out before complete silence began to smother the room. His eyes wandered down to his lap as his hands left the keys, his fists tightly clenching—the stinging feeling bringing a strange relief.

He could imagine the disappointing stare from his grandfather already, not a word or piece of criticism leaving his lips. If it wasn’t the minor mistakes to be pointed out, it was always the feeling. It was always the fact that he didn’t believe Tybalt understood the song. There was always something, something that always proved he’d never meet expectations. 

He didn’t notice any movement or the presence of another person until he felt two hands loosely wrap around his wrists, turning them face up. “How have you not stabbed your palms yet?” Mercutio said quietly as he gently pried open his clenched fists, Tybalt staring down at the indents of his fingernails left dead center in the palm of his hand. 

Another one of his horrible habits threatened to be released, insisting to Mercutio that he was very much fine and continued to play. He didn’t want to lie, though, but he wasn’t sure what he could say that wouldn’t leave him crumbling. 

He couldn’t bring himself to meet the other man’s eyes, pursing his lips and staring down at his resting hands. “I feel like I’m failing her,” Tybalt murmured, glancing over to notice the raised eyebrow from Mercutio. “My mother,” He clarified, “She never wanted me to fall into…this, like needing my grandfather’s approval every damn second, inheriting that rage and vengefulness from the feud, refusing to be weak.” He couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh he let out, “I’m doing this for her, but I’m honestly not quite sure if she would be proud of me today anyway.” 

A pair of hands cupped his cheeks and gently turned his head, and there was no avoiding his gaze anymore. His tired, stormy eyes met warm brown that were filled with concern and a sense of worry. Rarely did anyone look worried for Tybalt; they often just looked at him with anger, neutrality, or worse—pity. “Don’t start,” Mercutio said with a frown, “You don’t wanna go down that rabbit hole, trust me…it fucking sucks.” 

He supposed no one could better understand him than Mercutio, having also lost both of his parents quite soon after Tybalt. Being the heir or heiress is probably difficult. Tybalt would never deny that—but he had a feeling that being the oldest was harder. They were both expected to be the protectors, to dutifully watch over their younger siblings without a single crack. They had to live up to the expectations of their grandparents while also being the ones to remember most the horrid loss that led them there in the first place.

They both had to exist solely for a family that would discard them once the heir took over.

“Look, I didn’t really know your mom that well,” Mercutio admitted quietly. Tybalt could remember the few occasions that they had met, but they were quite a long time ago. The first time Mercutio met his mother, he’d presented her with a daisy he had just plucked from the ground—telling her the scientific name Bellis perennis, although mispronounced horribly. Still, it was certainly impressive that an eight-year-old remembered the name at all. “But I do know that she loved you a lot,” He continued, “And she definitely would’ve been proud of you, and I mean…I can say for certain that I’m proud of you, does that count for anything?” 

His cheeks began to heat up in surprise, unsure of how to respond. Truthfully, he couldn’t even remember the last time someone had directly said they were proud of him. Maybe his grandfather would occasionally give him a hum and a nod of approval, but that wasn’t the same as hearing it directly. “I suppose it does…yes,” He confessed. Tybalt was excellent at stringing together creative yet eloquent insults, but romance and niceties didn’t come easy—even simple words such as ‘thank you’ were a struggle for him. 

Mercutio hummed as he slung an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to him. “And you don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to,” He added, “I don’t think your mom would want you to do something only for her sake.” He had a good point; his mother never liked forcing him into things he wasn’t interested in doing. But there was just…a part of him that—

“I want to do this,” Tybalt assured with a slight nod, “I like playing, I like performing…I just really do not enjoy the pressure from my grandfather, and I do not enjoy looking for his face in the crowd after a performance only to see it unchanged.” He could feel a kiss placed on the top of his head, along with a slow nod. Tybalt still wasn’t used to physical affection, but he’d gotten better at not suddenly jolting or tensing up with even just the slightest brush of fingertips against his skin. 

His family was never known for their affection. Tybalt couldn’t even remember the last time he’d hugged his grandfather or his sisters. Truthfully, before Mercutio—he probably hadn’t hugged anyone since his parents died. Meanwhile, physical affection seemed to be a staple of the Monty family. Mercutio and Romeo never shied away from putting an arm around a friend’s shoulder, and Viola could usually be seen sitting on her friend’s lap or even kissing their cheeks. It was a far cry from the Capp family, truthfully. 

“I’ll be there then,” Mercutio offered with a smirk, “I’ll even force everyone to give you a standing ovation and clap so loud you’ll know exactly where I am in the crowd without even having to look.” Most people would think that to be hyperbole, but Tybalt had a feeling he was being dead serious. 

“Your grandparents might actually have you hung, drawn, and quartered if they found out you were sneaking out to go see your secret boyfriend from the rival family perform at a piano recital,” Tybalt commented, “I think they’d find that worse than simply sneaking out to make out somewhere in a field.” 

Mercutio laughed, and Tybalt could maybe feel a bit of a weight lifted from his shoulders—metaphorically, of course. “So two things,” He began, “First, if you wanna do that again after your piano recital, I’d totally be down, second—we’re boyfriends now?” He sounded so smug once he reached that second point, and Tybalt put two fingers to the other man’s cheek, shoving away his face. 

“Don’t get cocky about it,” Tybalt warned, although he imagined that advice would fall on deaf ears. 

“I’m gonna be so cocky about it,” Mercutio teased in return. 

He rolled his eyes with a groan, “I’d expect nothing less from you, to be quite honest.” Their journey to where they stood now had been nothing less than chaotic, although he supposed that was typical for Veronaville. They were friends and crushes as children, enemies as teenagers, and this on the brink of young adulthood. Admittedly, he was still afraid to call it love. It was all his mother ever wanted for him, but it was still a very terrifying thought. He’d get there, though, one day. 

“You wanna try again?” Mercutio asked as he looked towards the sheet music still placed on the piano desk. “Or take a break?” He continued, his eyes glancing back at Tybalt. Tybalt really couldn’t help how he practically slumped down on the bench, his head resting on Mercutio’s shoulder. He felt utterly drained at that point, both emotionally and physically. While he would typically keep playing until he played perfectly, every part of his body screamed for a break. 

“Break,” He murmured decisively. He could always pick it up again tomorrow, and his grandfather wouldn’t be back for another few days, so there was ample time to practice without him. Mercutio would probably still be there the next morning, anyway. He didn’t necessarily need him to be there to play, but it sure did feel nice to have someone there who actually enjoyed his playing. 

Mercutio nodded in response before giving Tybalt a mischievous grin, “How about I make dinner and then kick your ass in Smash?” His delusion was clearly admirable; Tybalt had to give him that.

“You’re god awful at Smash,” Tybalt pointed out as he straightened back out, “You’ve been playing Luigi for a decade, and I still beat you every single time.” He didn’t grow up playing video games. He only really began about a few months ago at the suggestion of Mercutio. Unfortunately for him, Tybalt was obviously much better at all of the games the other man grew up playing. 

“Hey, I let you win because I was trying to get you to like me,” Mercutio defended, but Tybalt simply brushed him off with a roll of his eyes. 

“Why would I swoon at you being terrible at video games?” Tybalt retorted, “You really need to work on your methods of seduction.” Admittedly, Tybalt initially thought that Mercutio was actually letting him win the first few times they played together. But Tybalt very quickly realized that Mercutio was actually just that bad at Smash. Great at Mario Kart, though. 

Mercutio moved his hand down to his waist, tugging him closer. “Did it or did it not work though?” He teased—and of course, this ended up causing a debate about whether or not his ‘plan’ had worked. Mercutio insisted that what he was saying was totally true, while Tybalt said that any amount of seduction was in spite of his horrid Smash gameplay. They definitely ‘argued’ about it for far too long, as they’d both forgotten about the plan about dinner and video games until about 10 PM. 

Both of them ended up staying up well past 2 in the morning, the time having gone by in a flash. Although admittedly, they didn’t fall asleep til at least 3:30. Apparently, they hadn’t really thought about the fact that Tybalt had a twin bed, and trying to find a comfortable way to sleep might as well have been like playing the world’s most brutal game of Tetris. 

They slept on his bedroom floor instead, and for the first time in a long while—Tybalt thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be okay. 

SECRET ENDING AUTHOR’S NOTE: would y’all like a post-recital one shot? 😁 lemme knaur

[funnywormz]

Did we ever get that rimmer gender analysis you promised us 🥺🥺🥺 if we did I missed it and I'm so sad and crying

I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE A WEEK TO ANSWER THIS ANON.......i can't quite remember, i think i may have done a small post abt it but it wasn't as detailed as i wanted??? sorry my memory for most stuff is pretty awful rip........

since i'm thinking abt it again now i will put a little rimmer gender ramble under the cut!! it's kinda repeating stuff that i've said in other posts but it's how i feel abt him and his identity, i hope you like it!!!! apologies if it doesn't make sense my brain has been full of sludge lately

OK SO. i think that masculinity has always been a very important part of rimmer's life, but a very toxic form of it. it's clear that his parents prioritised his brothers over him partly because they embodied more traditionally masculine traits, like confidence and physical strength. growing up, rimmer got the message from his parents that to be masculine was to be admired and loved. his parents abused him, and his brothers bullied him, and i think that although rimmer resents them for it he also sees it as being his fault?

i think it's because of this pressure he felt to be gender conforming growing up, that he feels he needs to force himself into some kind of macho man role. he fails at it miserably, and it's obviously not his true self, but he tries to keep it up because at his root, rimmer really does just want to be loved. growing up his parents showed him that their love was conditional, and he assumes everyone else is that way too, so he tries to shape himself into someone he thinks is lovable. unfortunately it only leads to unhappiness for everyone involved bc he's obviously putting up a front but he resents anyone who tries to pry it away.

rimmer's attempts at masculinity are clearly ridiculous, to the point where the show makes fun of him for it too. he's a coward, he's very petty and picky, the show takes every opportunity it can to have him crossdress, and it's sort of a running joke that lister's dick is bigger than his. to anyone around him, it's pretty clear that rimmer is often trying to pretend that he's someone he's not, and the show makes it a comedic thing a lot of the time.

rimmer doesn't know it's obvious, though. he's certainly not good at reading or understanding other people (i also heavily hc him as autistic but that's a post for another day), and i think a lot of the time he assumes he's successfully fooling everyone when he isn't. rimmer also has a longstanding habit of lying and then doubling down when he gets caught in the lie, even if it involves him doing something he finds unpleasant. i think his gender is one of those cases. his attempts at masculinity are "lies", but when that's pointed out to him he refuses to admit it even when it's clear he's putting up a front. admitting that he's not masculine would be, in his mind, admitting that he isn't worth his parents' (or anyone else's) love, and he can't stand that thought.

it's pretty telling, though, that whenever rimmer's inhibitions are removed or part of his hidden inner self is revealed, it's often feminine. when rimmer was infected with the holovirus, it seems like practically the first thing he did was put a dress on. wearing gingham dresses is NOT a universal holovirus thing. dr langstrom definitely wasn't wearing one. that's a RIMMER thing.

when the crew meet the "low" versions of themselves in demons and angels, while all of the other characters get relatively generic "evil" versions of themselves, low rimmer is basically wearing sexy lingerie with a dominatrix look and openly flirts with lister. considering that the lows are all meant to express the parts of the characters that they hate or view as the worst parts of themselves, i think it's a very direct (albeit unintentional?) way of showing rimmer's internalised homophobia and transphobia towards himself.

it's ALSO telling that rimmer specifically accuses ace of doing both gay and feminine things, like "wearing women's underwear" and "whipping the house boy". after all, ace IS rimmer. rimmer resents ace for being a better version of himself, and the most cutting insults he can think of for HIMSELF are insinuating that ace is gnc. stinks of projection to me. i think kryten agreed too, in dimension jump he almost seems to point out that rimmer is projecting before he's interrupted.

for most of the series, rimmer is, to me, someone who is miserable abt being potentially queer and is attempting to suppress it. however, the promised land changes this.

in the promised land, rimmer initially resents his status as a hologram, but by the end of the movie he wears it as a badge of pride. likewise, his hero-sona the "mighty light" is kinda campy, he's wearing sparkly tight fitting clothes with expertly styled hair and all. you could definitely read the promised land's rimmer arc as a metaphor for him accepting himself for being queer, but i would argue there's a self acceptance there that goes deeper. perhaps he's finally accepted that he can be admired AND be more feminine. it's not a big step forward but it's SOMETHING.

rimmer's identity as a hologram is also something tpl reckons with. rimmer fully grapples with realising that his "true" self is dead, that he isn't "real". i think that gender could be a part of it. the movie doesn't touch on it at ALL, to be clear, but as rimmer learns to be confident in who he is now and embrace his status as a hologram, i can't help but feel that his connection to strict gender roles must have also lessened. after all, gender and sex are very human concepts, and he isn't human anymore. being a hologram, he could change his body and voice any time he wanted (or at least any time holly felt like being nice lol). him being a man seems sorta irrelevant in that context. he's out in the middle of space with the last human being left alive. i don't think that a strong sense of gender identity could even really be possible for him when he's so isolated from the world that invented those things, and when he has the ability to play around with it so easily.

this last part is definitely projection, but i just feel like being a hologram has gotta eventually lead to a more nonbinary identity. so much of what we consider sex and gender to be is tied up in our perceptions and interactions and what we feel is expected of us. rimmer doesn't have that anymore. human society is gone, he isn't even human himself........ his parents are dead, too. why should he keep on playing this charade with himself that he doesn't even believe in?

i'm not necessarily sure that canon rimmer would have the self reflection abilities to realise any of this stuff, but in my mind he becomes more comfortable with being nonbinary and queer after tpl. it feels like a natural progression from accepting his status as a hologram to accepting the other parts of himself he used to hate, y’know?

ANYWAYS, i think that's all i can really say on the topic at the moment. this post isn't really an analysis, more of a word vomit about my personal headcanons and things i've noticed. still, i hope you enjoyed reading it and knowing my thoughts about the Rimmer Gender Situation lol. if anyone wants to add anything feel free, but please be nice

[squarebracketsmileyface]

HELLO, HELLO, HELLOO I come bearing another song that reminds me of Sorry, its locked. This one is... really sad though. Unlike the last one I sent, this one isn't an upbeat song. It's slow and really raw with emotions I suppose. I can't help but think of Jay with this song and his complex relationship with Alex and Tim. I was a fool to love. -By Frank Watkinson (Ps. I've cried two or three times relistening to this song.)

God, old people singing about love is always either the most heart warming or heart wrenching thing ever lol. This song is so sweet and so sad and so Jay.

His relationships are so complex and none of them are long term, for so many reasons (this guy's never had a long term relationship in his life. God that's gotta hurt and make him feel like there's something wrong with him —which there is. But y'know. That's not a nice thing to realise about yourself lol—) y'know, Alex leaving him for Amy, jay dying, those definitely cut his relationship short.

Even if Jay didn't die, though, fearing for their lives is the glue that holds his and Tim's relationship together, they need each other to survive currently. Their relationship was built under massive stress, and without the stress the pressure inside the relationship will make it burst apart from the inside. Like when you bring a deep sea fish too the surface and their cells explode. Once Tim and Jay no longer have bigger things to worry about, all the things that are wrong with their relationship (unfortunately wrong with Jay, and Tim keeps trying to fix him but can't) will come to the surface and be the new thing they focus on, and it'd tear them apart.

Rambling.

SONG

Song Jaylex ARRARRARRARRARRARA. Jay still being in love with Alex even though he has Tim now, he didn't realise his feelings could persist for this long. Like, it's been YEARS since he and Alex were together(ish) in university, but he still cares about Alex enough to try and save him, still loves Alex even though he has Tim now and that relationship is a lot more healthy.

"I never realised that one could live such A lie for so long, it was so wrong" :( Jaylex in uni :( they both lived a lie. Both of them hid their feelings from each other as much as they could, Alex didn't tell Jay he was hurting him, jay didn't tell Alex he was hurting him. God they were a MESS

"i thought you were my friend, I thought you'd stay until the end" like, just, this just fits. Because even though physically both Tim and Alex stayed until the very end (in a way), emotionally/mentally jay was alone in his last moments. He didn't have Tim there to comfort him, and he didn't want Alex there comforting him. He'd been with Tim minutes before (in my version of events lol) and they'd split up to search for Alex, Tim had been so close by all the way until the end, and yet he wasn't close enough to save Jay, only close enough to hear the gunshot while he was back at his car. Jay was so alone in the moment of his death.

"my heart doesn't want to let you go, but my head says it's for the best" :( ow Jay about Alex, Tim about Jay, Alex about Jay. Everyone about everyone :(

Also "my emotions are all a mess" Jay in entry 80. Alex is gonna shoot him, and then Alex will also be the one to comfort and hold him as he does, and Jay hates that it's not Tim, but at the same time he's so glad that Alex is holding him one more time and he just doesn't know how to feel :(

[firendgold]

Oh god the order left sirius to rot in prison take is back. I hate it so much they never take into account the bigger picture. "People knew he was very anti voldemort why wouldnt they think of that" well everyone in the order knew there was a spy among them and remus thought that was sirius, I wouldnt be suprised if other members thought it as well. And everyone in the order was anti voldemort. "Dumbledore didnt even hear sirius side of it when he heard out death eater snape" like snape asked to meet with Dumbledore and never do we hear of sirius requesting to speak to him while in jail. And as soon as sirius actually speeks to Dumbledore he realizes sirius is innocent. And they never seem to take into account how sirius never tried to prove his innocence, he seemed actually to rather do the opposite. So heres the case sirius the secret keeper betrayed the potters and hunted down and killed Peter qnd 12 other people and when they get to sirius he says i killed them. And with how the chaos of those days i can see how people wouldnt question he was guilty. The order didnt fight for him well he didnt fight for himself either and how are you gonna start doing that when sirius as good as said he was guilty.

That "take" generally recycles itself among newer readers and fanfic writers who are excellent with prose but should really know better than to whitewash certain characters, and who have a bad habit of not referring back to canon when doing their fix-its.

I generally ignore takes that sound like they're either from the "Marauders fandom" or from people who haven't read the books in a while. The "people let Sirius rot and they will all pay for it in my bashing fic" crowd fall into those two holes and also the hole called "has literally no imagination for or grace to give to things that aren't explicitly stated in the text". Sirius, Remus, and other characters who were in the Order the first time all talk about how they were grossly outnumbered and there was an aura of mistrust because people knew someone was leaking secrets, but not who it was or if it was just one person. Once Sirius' seeming betrayal came out, it makes perfect sense that a ragtag group of adults whose trust in each other was already frayed were ready and willing to attribute all the other traitorous acts to this same person.

The key thing is what you pointed out so long ago: Sirius never tried to prove his innocence. We don't know if he had a trial or not, but at the end of the day that doesn't matter either. It's canon that Veritaserum doesn't force people to tell the absolute truth (this is a common misconception), just the truth as the person sees it, and people with skill in certain magical disciplines like Occlumency can lie under its effects. So the equally common argument in every damn fic of "wHY diDN't tHEy JUsT uSE vERITaSERum" doesn't work in-universe.

The same fandom members who are just SO SURE that if Sirius had had his day in court he would have been freed, forget that Sirius made no moves to proclaim his innocence before, during or after his pursuit of Peter in 1980. Just a quick word to literally anyone about what had happened with Peter and the Fidelius and where he was going might have saved Sirius jail time, and yet.....

It is possible to love Sirius and acknowledge that he has a ridiculous guilt complex and consistently fucks himself over with reckless actions throughout his life... but a lot of his fans don't seem to agree, and would rather make Albus or someone else his scapegoat.

There's a hypocrisy in a lot of these fanfics and meta conversations and inaccurate readings, where these people assume Albus wants to control every single person (he doesn't), and that he SHOULDN'T be responsible for everyone's welfare (he doesn't want to be, and isn't, except when operating as the leader of the Order with every adult character's consent to being "ordered around" and sent on dangerous missions). Albus was the Order's leader, but he's not anyone's parent. He had directions, he made suggestions, but he didn't know everyone's business or he would have known about the Fidelius switch. He wasn't responsible for minding every Order member.

The argument's even more ridiculous when you remember the Ministry employees that join the Order in the Second War. Do you ever see anyone arguing that Albus knows every detail of Kingsley Shacklebolt or Nymphadora Tonks' lives? That he controls everything they do and is responsible for any danger they get into, even though their day jobs are literally being the magical police for Magical Britain? No, because it's ridiculous.

[fuckmeyer]

"disturbed, depressed, inadequate": Edward Cullen & George Costanza, cringefail twinsies

as we all know, Twilight and Seinfeld are canonically set in the same universe. we see blatant clues scattered throughout both series. (e.g., Stephenie Meyer prefacing New Moon with the entirety of Jerry Seinfeld's opening stand-up from season 4's "The Outing;" Jerry making a Twilight reference in "The Soup" episode of Seinfeld, etc.) most notably, we see Edward Cullen & George Costanza's personalities mirror each other in a way that extends far beyond "pure" "coincidence." upon closer examination, they are the same person in parallel universes.

the two are, canonically, absolute losers seemingly broken beyond repair, self-saboteurs who waffle between moments of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing. their negative self-image, insecurities, & belief that they do not deserve love are recurring themes in their respective series.

among other things, George describes himself as "disturbed, depressed, inadequate," ("The Visa," S04) "completely insecure, paranoid, [and] neurotic" ("The Beard," S06). he is the self-proclaimed "Lord of the Idiots" ("The Apartment," S02) who is sure of only one thing: "There is no bigger loser than me" ("The Strike," S09).

in the Twilight Saga, Edward repeatedly calls himself "selfish" & a "monster." in Midnight Sun, he's a "coward" (37), "evil" (374) & an "obsessed stalker" (94). clearly depressed in the way he describes his "long melancholy" (138) as "an unending, unchanging midnight" (136), he quickly pinpoints the feelings behind his hatred for Bella: "What I really hated was myself" (26). his distaste for Mike Newton & jealousy of Jacob Black stem from his insecurity, while his paranoia has him assuming, among other things, that a meteor will crash down & bonk Bella out of existence (131). Edward's telepathy has him always on the alert for intruders, resulting in baseless conclusions. "Idiot," Rose calls him (97, 129, 145, 202, 314). idiot, indeed.

Edward & George's low self-esteem compel them to lie, unable to live up to the perceived expectations of others. after Edward saves Bella from a car accident, he lies to her to keep her away. "I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel" (MS, 90). beyond shielding her from his true nature, he is shielding her from a deeper truth: "I didn't deserve any link, any claim to her at all" (728). that is, Edward does not consider himself worthy of Bella's love. he even point-blank admits it to her at prom: "I'm not worth it." (782)

George, too, struggles to live up to assumed perceptions: “You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now I have to become real. That's when it all falls apart. What good is real?" ("The Visa," S04) like Edward, he engages in deceptive tactics throughout the series to keep his partners at arm's length, from creating falsehoods about himself to preventing his fiancée from fraternizing with his friends & entering his world. ("The Pool Guy," S07) Edward, more succinct, sends Bella the same message in New Moon: "My world is not for you." (37)

in fact, one of the few traits George & Edward possess that is not negatively regarded is their ability to lie. Edward's declaration that "I was not an incompetent liar" (MS, 77) seems an understatement when, not 10 pages later, he says, "Perhaps I was too good a liar if I could fool Carlisle" (85). he claims to feel guilty; then again, Bella often notes him lying outright or by omission in the series.

"I lie every second of my life," George brags in season 2's "The Apartment." "My whole life is a sham." other characters acknowledge & praise this ability. in the episode "The Beard" (S06), Jerry begs George to help him beat a polygraph test, calling his ability "a gift." just as Edward dramatizes his lying to "putting on a show," George likens his talent to singing opera: "It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'" the advice he gives Jerry aptly sums up George's philosophy: "It's not a lie if you believe it." how fitting that this is the mindset Edward employs to stay in Bella's life a little longer.

George & Edward's relationships not only showcase their ability to lie but follow similar paths. George faces Edward's exact dilemma: the choice to deny his nature (to the point of becoming vegetarian!) for an attractive woman in "The Secretary" episode of season 6. "You're luscious," he says to a beautiful applicant for an open secretary position. "You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra." George chooses not to hire the attractive secretary... but ends up sleeping with his 'unattractive' secretary anyway. Edward, meanwhile, does the opposite: he chooses vegetarianism and to date the object of his affection, albeit with personal turmoil. where Edward chooses to be the man, George chooses to be the monster.

unsurprisingly, however, their low self-esteem is a frequent barrier to their romantic pursuits. these insecurities even lead them to preemptively decide to break up with their significant other. in George's case, the breakup in season 3's "The Pez Dispenser" is a means for him to protect himself & regain control:

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity.”

Edward seemingly breaks up with Bella to protect her. he knows he will leave her by page 368 of Midnight Sun. by page 746, he admits he's lying when he swears he won't leave her. "[T]he time would come, I was sure now, when I would have to convince her [I didn't want her]" (747). best-case scenario, he thinks, she will outgrow him (781), though it's clear she intends on forever. despite the evidence from Alice that Bella will be a catatonic mess, he leaves...several months later, after a near-fatal brush with Jasper. one might argue Edward's fear of love & intimacy leads him to break up with her as a means to protect himself from the harsh reality that she will die.

ultimately, George & Edward's failures in physical & emotional intimacy are rooted, at least in part, in an aversion to sex.

for both, the desire to feed presents a barrier to their lovemaking. Edward is unable to prolong his kisses with Bella, citing his thirst. he compares himself to "an alcoholic" & Bella to "a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac..." (Twilight, 13). similarly, in season 9's "The Blood," George finds he is always hungry around his partner & can't make love to her without eating. his attempt to introduce strawberries, chocolate sauce, & pastrami on rye into the bedroom snowballs into him sneaking sandwiches into bed. though George, unlike Edward, can satiate himself without murdering his girlfriend, his desire to feed still leads to his demise.

this aversion to sex extends beyond a conflict with their baser selves, however. we see George & Edward's insecurities & low self-esteem take a central role in their inability to engage in intimate relations.

“I don't like when a woman says, ‘Make love to me,’" says George in season 3's "The Stranded." "It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.”

this quote perfectly encapsulates Edward & Bella's wedding night. despite being intimidated by Bella's demand for sex, Edward acquiesces. upon discovering he bruised Bella, Edward confirms his worst fears, calls himself a monster, and says: "I'm...so sorry, Bella. [...] I am more sorry than I can tell you" (Breaking Dawn, 61). he then promises, "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." (66)

oddly enough, the bleak outlook Edward takes on his sex life (i.e., not possible (Twilight, 147) & unrealistic (Eclipse, 299)) mirrors George's feelings re: sexual intimacy in "The Pony Remark" (S02):

“You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.”

is this aversion to intimacy with women a product of George & Edward being queer-coded characters? even if Edward didn't worship the ground on which Carlisle "the soul of [the] family" (MS, 96) walked to the point where he hopes his face resembles Carlisle's "perfect" one (24, 387), he constantly thinks of his creator & tries to live up to Carlisle's perception of him (28, 347, 383, 387). this seems innocuous enough until we consider the fact that the vampire genre itself has queer roots. vampires have always served as a symbol for social outcasts; homosexual depictions, from the 1872 novel Carmilla to the 2020s reboot of Interview with a Vampire, are a common feature of the genre. through this lens, the virginal Edward Cullen pushing away his heterosexual partner while he envisions Carlisle's face takes on different connotations.

George, deeply in denial of his sexuality, upholds odd "rules" to avoid being seen as gay, from refusing to sit "boy-boy-girl" in a car ("The Ex-Girlfriend," S02), to reminding Jerry of his "unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality" before declaring Jerry's new jacket "fabulous." (his singing show tunes throughout "The Jacket" (S02)  still earns him the title of gay by another character, however.) he frequently goes into a gay panic: from being called out on his attraction to Jerry ("The Cartoon," S09), to being accused of falling in love with his friend Tony ("The Stall," S05), to being explicitly labeled as Jerry's romantic partner in season 4's "The Outing," he responds to challenges to his heterosexuality with anger, anxiety, dismay, & denial. he even shouts "IT [his penis] MOVED!" in response to being touched by an attractive male masseuse ("The Masseuse," S05). regardless of whether George may be gay or bisexual, George's record of "staunch heterosexuality" seems not as "unblemished" as he would like us to believe.

given all the similarities, one might think the biggest difference is their species: Edward is a mindreading vampire and George is a human. but George does note having an advanced sense of perception akin to Edward's telepathy: "I was personable, I was bright. [...] I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party" ("The Opposite," S05). additionally, while George may not be a literal vampire, he does have a parasitic nature. cheap & selfish, he frequently mooches off his friends & leaves them footing the bill. he also lies & manipulates for his own gain, including but not limited to faking a disability to have access to his own private bathroom at work ("The Butter Shave," S09), setting up a fake charity to avoid buying Christmas presents for his coworkers ("The Strike," S09), & falsifying statements to extend his unemployment benefits ("The Boyfriend, Part 1," S03). leeching off of others & the community is a hallmark of vampirism.

ultimately, the uncanny parallels between these two characters are impossible to ignore. George & Edward seem indeed the same person mirrored into different universes. so, what does this say about their creator(s)? this "coincidence" naturally begs the question: Are Jerry Seinfeld and Stephenie Meyer the same person? in Part 2 of this essay, we expl—

[darkstarofchaos]

Unpopular Opinions: EarthSpark Wishlist Edition.

Was going to give some thoughts on S1 a while back but never got around to it, so eh. Let's look ahead to S2 with some things I'd like to see and some I wouldn't.

Characters:

Ironically, the one character I wanted to see but didn't think would fit the show seems like he's actually going to appear. I've already written up an extensive Prowl wishlist, but to summarize: socially awkward and seemingly cold or rude, but nice once you get to know him; either not a cop or an ex-cop; disability optional but strongly encouraged. Also, if he's going to have low empathy or a strongly numbers-based approach to the world, don't villainize him for it.

Aside from Prowl, the only characters I have strong feelings about are ones I don't want to see. Basically all of them are MTMTE/LL characters, but the only ones I'm going to call out specifically are the DJD: I feel like they would need to be a season-long threat to be properly utilized, and since we've already had one major "hunt down Decepticons" plotline, I'm not interested in seeing another.

Not a deal-breaker, but I'd rather not see any more gender-swapping. I don't mind Ravage or Nova Storm and I warmed up to Frenzy, but Skywarp just doesn't feel like the same character. By which I mean I wouldn't be able to write her the same way I write him, because the way I write him would be a female stereotype applied to her. And I couldn't do her relationship with Starscream the same way either (same goes for her relationship with Thundercracker if he shows up). So as far as fanfic goes, she's literally a different character who I'd need to approach completely differently, and I just. If you need a bigger female cast and you can bring in characters like Hardtop and Skullcrusher, you can give little-seen female characters some time in the sun. Do that instead.

Pairings:

So first off, kudos to EarthSpark for finally producing a Megatron & Optimus dynamic where they actually feel like friends, but that's all I see them as, tbh. In fact, there's only one pairing I have any interest in so far, and that's MegaStar. And with that being said, I would like to see some development between them in the next season. But not Megatron trying to make things right with Starscream: Starscream deserves to have his desire for distance respected. Instead, put them in a situation where they're forced to cooperate and let them start to work things out from there. Maybe some apologies that neither is required to accept (we don't actually know what Starscream might have to apologize for in this universe, but I'm sure there's something).

As far as potential future pairings, I guess I wouldn't hate TaraProwl. On one hand, I would prefer as few IDW influences as possible, but on the other hand, the monsterfucker in me wants someone to pair Tarantulas with. But if they're going to interact, I need Prowl to not be a jerk and I'd love it if they didn't already know each other.

Other Random Desires:

Minimal IDW influences.

Normally I wouldn't think about this in a Transformers show, but after the Mother's Day episode: no more holiday episodes please (I will make an exception for an Independence Day episode that highlights recreational explosives as a horrible way to celebrate. Seems perfect for this show).

Still torn on whether or not I want to see Nightshade become aware of transphobia, but I'm thinking not. Won't say no to having more trans/nonbinary characters, though (I will make an exception to the no gender-swapping thing if the swapped character is explicitly trans).

More disabled characters! If not Prowl, then someone (was kinda disappointed that Twitch's optic got repaired by the Magic, not gonna lie).

Okay, that's all for now. Might revisit this when we get a trailer for S2.

[ruthiesrambles2]

✂️🐈🧑‍🧑‍🧒🤥❓

For the headcanons! 🖤

Thanks bestie! I had so much fun doing these. Ended up more snippets of fic than pure hc but I loved it so hope you do too.

Under the cut as it's long

Hair themed headcanon:

Melanie cannot stand going to the hairdressers. She's always hated it, but here on the train it feels even more claustrophobic. The judgement, the small talk, the hundred different overlapping noises, the rough brush on her neck and the gown constricting at her throat. The mirror image staring back into her soul. Once upon a time her mother cut her hair. When she was away at university, or globe trotting with Joseph, it'd stay tied up, tied back. Neat unless you looked at the ends. Her mom cut Alex's hair too. Sat on the same stool, the same old pair of scissors and silence save for her gentle hum and the clip clip clip.

On the train she'd asked Ben first. He'd done an okay job. Slow, but precise. He sent her down to the salon the next time she asked, and she endured. But Ruth had volunteered, one night, in the on call room. And so it became routine. Melanie with her legs folded under her on a teal armchair. Ruth moving near silently behind her, around her. Ruth combed so gently that some days Melanie felt herself drift away into sleep, listening to the soft clip clip clip and pad of Ruth's bare feet on the carpet. She'd wake to a gentle hand on her shoulder, a suggestion she should climb into the bunk. It never lasted long before there was some great emergency.

Pet themed headcanon:

There'd been debate about what to do with Jupiter, after they sent her master off into the cold. The choice to euthanise was an easy no, Alex stepping in to her defence before the words had even been spoken. Even Javi had agreed it was senseless and needless - there had been more than enough death. Alex, despite her passion, wasn't interested in having her. Something about lab safety and slobber. Sykes felt she'd done her time, and Melanie... well, they were already going to be down 2 engineers, she just wouldn't have the time.

Ruth eyed the snoring mass of Jupiter in the corner. It had been a long time since she'd had a dog, not since the B&B took off. But she remembered a soft paw on her lap, the day her grandfather died. Remembered the walks over the hillsides, the soft nights by the fire. She'd need training, re-learning how to be a dog and not a weapon. But as she snored away, her head lolling over the side of the nest of blankets that served as a bed, Ruth knew there was only one answer.

"I'll take her. I'd quite like some company in this brave new world," Ruth declared to the table.

Family themed headcanon:

The house had always felt big. Almost a castle, she had thought, when she, her mother, brothers, and one small hatchback full of belongings had first arrived. Of course, she was small then. Small even for her five years. But sprightly. And so the castle became a whirlwind of stairs to climb, bannisters to slide, and deep dark cupboards to explore. 20 years later the house felt bigger than ever. The high ceilings seemed to echo her heartbeat in the silence. All of the life was gone, and with it any joy she associated with this place. This old house, named for Friends and the gatherings that met there, was never supposed to be empty.

Ruth thumbed at the unopened brown envelope on the table. She knew what was inside. The sum value of her grandparents' lives calculated by a man and a computer in an office block halfway across the country. An insult. Watching the sun stream in through the tall windows of the dining room, she steeled herself as she carefully opened it with a letter knife.

Lie themed headcanon

Melanie didn't mean to keep it from Ruth. Not for long. Not forever. Every day she felt herself getting more tangled in the web of it, patiently awaiting the right moment to cut the threads. Ruth would have to be on side, wouldn't she? They were friends, at least in a fashion. She had to know the reality of the situation.

It wasn't long until the first big crisis. Melanie's voice on the intercom urging the passengers to brace. Not reappearing again until the emergency was handled. If Ruth noticed, she didn't say anything. Instead, she talked a mile a minute about the great Mr Wilford, and Melanie felt the web tightening around her chest.

Receiver's choice headcanon

The first thing Ruth noticed was the dust. Without thinking she ran a finger along the shelf, seeing it build up around her fingertip. She shook herself out of her judgement. Melanie was possibly the busiest person on the planet, and here Ruth was criticising the fact that she hadn't cleaned her couchette.

Ruth winced when she realised Melanie was watching her.

"Sorry, I haven't had time to clean it up," Melanie shrugged. The speech was moderated and calm, but Melanie's eyes betrayed the hurt behind the words.

"I'm..." Melanie began, and Ruth froze. She'd been here two bloody minutes and already offended.

"...not here very often. You know how it is, He always needs me up in the engine. Makes sense to sleep up there sometimes."

This time it was Ruth whose eyes betrayed her.