hikkanade - Tumblr blog

[hikkanade]

no one saw that

[hikkanade]

hadescure​:

Once the music begins, the doctor falls silent and listens to the melody that pours from her phone.  He wasn’t sure what he expected to hear, but it was nowhere near this.  The song is undoubtedly modern——Asclepius cannot place a name on several of its instruments.  Nonetheless, the voice he assumes to be Kanade’s is soothing, in contrast to the excellent beat. 

Glancing upon the girl now, Caster views her in a different light.

“You … composed this?”   He asks, barely managing to keep the wonder from his tone.    “Hmm … I like it.”

And then, the dots connect, dawning a realization.

“This could help patients keep their minds off the procedure, thus minimizing inane questions and behavior——”   He chuckles wickedly, envisioning a space full of quiet and obedient patients.  No incessant crying, no talkback.  “I can perform my work more efficiently, and perhaps even discover a new disease in the meantime, heheh …”   After all, if they enjoy the music, they may return more frequently— a win-win.  It doesn’t even cross his mind that these suggestions sound like a form of hypnotism to the average person. 

“Kanade,”    Asclepius starts, smirking with misguided enthusiasm.   “I suppose this is what they call a ‘collaboration’?  I will allow your music to play in my clinic.  Of course, if you wish for another type of compensation, we can strike a deal later.  For now, I’ll gladly take your records.”

“Huh? Y-you really do?” Some unusual childish excitement accompanied the tone of her voice that even surprised Kanade herself when she heard it. She tried to hide a flustered blush by looking down at her feet before she collected herself to face Asclepius again with a confident smile.

“It’s an honor to collaborate with you. I don’t need any compensation, really! It’s just... well, if possible, I’d like to know if my music will truly help your patients in any way... Just if you happen to observe something like that... It would be a big help to get closer to my goal to save others as well!”

Kanade was a little nervous about asking Asclepius about his genuine opinion about her music before, but now she was really glad that she did... He helped her out so many times already... Unconsciously, she reached for the scale he had given her the other day. She was truly grateful for all the kindness he showed her so far. Unfortunately, the scale also made her recall their promise... and with that...her father.

“You mentioned discovering new diseases before... Since I never knew for sure what he suffered with...” she stopped herself from continuing that thought out loud. They just had a happy conversation, she didn’t want to drag the mood down: “I mean, I was just curious if you could tell me more about more unusual diseases that you’ve seen so far... and could you really cure them all?”

[hikkanade]

umbreance​:

Noah reflexively reaches for her assistance, ignoring how the world sways in motion as he waits for the dizzy waves to crest.  But his eyes snap open as he feels the sudden plush cushion of a bed beneath him——the one situation he was entirely against, too!  This really can’t be happening.

Kanade’s questions float down to him as the symptoms begin to wane, and he weakly shakes his head. 

“It’s, it’s fine … It’s nothing new,”   Noah croaks out through his dried throat, throwing an arm over his face to hide an irrational heat filling his cheeks.  And it isn’t new;  there are times when his body gives in to illness.  But all of this, in front of a stranger, no less?   “Ugh, this is so embarrassing ….”

He truly spins on a wheel of misfortune, this time set in motion from the moment he found himself in this unusual world.  The futility of it all somehow weighs down upon him again.  Well, at least he’s not dead and repeating a cycle.  Yet, despite the dizziness and exhaustion having ceded, he makes no effort to rise from his position.

Instead, Noah looks through the gap in his elbow to peek at Kanade’s worried expression.  No words could properly express his gratitude for her help, so he quietly gives his thanks and then flips over, giving his back to her.

“I’ll stay here, just like you said.  Happy?”   He says, slightly muffled from the folds of her pillow.   “I don’t need anything else.  So … you can go now.”

“It’s nothing new? Do you... collapse like this regularly?” Was he perhaps terminally ill? Kanade knew by now, that he most likely wouldn’t like to reveal as much about himself, but she couldn’t help but voice the questions that came up inside her mind anyway.

“Go... where? H-hey, this is my room, s-so... I don’t really have anywhere else to go...” 

Her cheeks started to flush with the following silence. Wait! Was that why he refused to stay the night when she asked him before? Thinking of it like that, sharing her room with a boy her age probably was an idea she shouldn’t have proposed at their first meeting. But this was different now! Noah needed a place to rest and she didn’t mind lending him her bed.

With a last gentle touch, Kanade adjusted the blanket around him one more time so he’d at least stay warm. 

“I noticed you don’t like talking about yourself, and that’s okay. In a way, I think we’re really similar regarding that... so I don’t mind it. But please tell me if there is anything I can do to help you. I could call a doctor if you think that would be necessary. But if you just need some rest, I um... I suppose I could go do my own stuff and leave you be for a while then. You just have to talk to me, so I can know.”

[hikkanade]

umbreance​:

There are some doubts about the state of his clothing as Kanade leads him toward the bathroom area—— doubts that swiftly become realized as she slips and falls onto the tiled floor.  Noah had lunged forward to try and catch her but was too late, too slow.  His brows swiftly knit together with guilt and concern as he looks over Kanade.

“Are you okay?”   He asks, offering a hand to help her while also being careful not to slip on the pooled water.  Maybe he should’ve brought the ice pack with him;  that was a dangerous fall.  Still, Noah remains hovering nearby to ascertain her wellbeing, though the words Kanade speaks causes that will to falter. 

“Wait, what are you saying!?  I can’t sleep here——”    Noah exclaims in embarrassment, his face aflame again.  That would be embarrassing!   “Or on your bed!” 

And if these pants are anything to go by, Add must live in this space, and he fears an incoming berating at his stay.  Noah shakes his head, denying the possibility.   “No, no … It’s fine.  I’ll just take my clothes and dry them elsewhere.  You don’t need to do this for me.”

When he reaches for his hooded jacket, however, a dizzy spell washes over him and his breath shortens, the signs of malady taking hold.  He lets out a groan and folds to the ground, grasping at his chest as he tries to wait for relief to return.   “Ugh … It’ll pass …”

“Y-yeah... I’m fine. Thank you.” While looking up at him with an appreciative smile, she took the hand he offered to help her up. 

For some reason, Noah seemed very flustered about her invitation. He must come from a very strict household to be so shy about accepting a simple offer like that. Or at least that was her assumption for why he was being so overly polite this whole time already.

Just when she wanted to reassure him though, the meek boy suddenly collapsed to the floor. 

“Noah?!” Kanade gasped while carefully kneeling down to his level again. 

“Um... are you okay?” As expected he insisted he was fine and that it will pass. Whatever it��was supposed to be. And even if it would, there was no way she would leave him on the cold bathroom floor like this!

“Hey, Noah... can you hold onto me? I’m gonna move you to my room next... So... don’t worry, alright? You’re gonna be okay!”

Full of ambition to get her new friend to a more comfortable place to rest, she put his arm around her shoulder. Somehow, even with a lot of struggling, she managed to drag him along until she reached her room as promised.

After she shoved him gently on top of her bed, she made sure his head landed comfortably on one of her pillows. Next, she carelessly shoved some papers and other junk she still had on her blanket to the ground so she could use it to cover him up. 

What now though? Not like she had any idea what his condition was about. Perhaps she should seek help from doctor Asclepius?! For now, she decided to reach for his forehead once again to feel his temperature:

“Do you need some water? Or should I give you some of my painkillers? I also have some energy drinks in the fridge if that could help you out...”

[hikkanade]

please repost, don’t reblog !!  

PLACE IN SOCIETY 

FINANCIAL – wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty / n/a MEDICAL – fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged CLASS OR CASTE – upper / middle / working (student?) / slave / unsure / none EDUCATION – qualified / unqualified / studying CRIMINAL RECORD – yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / has aided / committed crimes but not caught yet / none / in multiple countries / where all am i wanted again?

FAMILY

MARITAL STATUS – married, happily / married, unhappily / engaged  / partnered / single / divorced / widow or widower / separated / it’s complicated CHILDREN – has (had) a child or children / no children / wants children/ adopted a child FAMILY – close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) ) / has no sibling(s) / sibling(s) are deceased AFFILIATION – orphaned / adopted/ disowned / raised by birth parents / other

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in-between disorganized / organized / in-between close-minded / open-minded / in-between disagreeable / agreeable / in-between cautious / reckless / in-between patient / impatient / in-between outspoken / reserved / in-between leader / follower / in-between empathetic / apathetic / in-between optimistic / pessimistic / in-between traditional / modern / in-between hard-working / lazy / in-between cultured / uncultured / in-between loyal / disloyal / unknown faithful / unfaithful / unknown

BELIEFS

FAITH – monotheistic / polytheistic / atheist / agnostic / nontheist / unsure BELIEF IN GHOSTS / SPIRITS – yes / no / don’t know / don’t care BELIEF IN AFTERLIFE – yes / no / don’t know / don’t care BELIEF IN REINCARNATION – yes / no / don’t know / don’t care BELIEF IN ALIENS – yes / no / don’t know / don’t care PHILOSOPHICAL – yes / no / sometimes

ABILITIES

COMBAT SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none LITERACY SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ARTISTIC SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none TECHNICAL SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

HABITS

DRINKING ALCOHOL – never / sometimes / frequently / to excess SMOKING – trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess OTHER NARCOTICS – never / sometimes / frequently / to excess MEDICINAL DRUGS – never / sometimes / frequently / to excess INDULGENT FOOD – never / sometimes / frequently / to excess SPLURGE SPENDING – never / sometimes / frequently / to excess GAMBLING – never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

[hikkanade]

felt obligated to upload these because no one else did.

[hikkanade]

25-ji, Nightcord de. in Gunjou Sanka | Project SEKAI: COLORFUL STAGE

[hikkanade]

umbreance​:

Noah stares at the steaming cup, feeling the warmth rise and tickle his nose.  It’s hard to look at Kanade without renewing the flush in his cheeks, especially when she shares such considerate words and has only given him everything thus far.  No one has ever welcomed his presence or said that it brought surprises, let alone the two spoken together.

This is new;  this is … nice.  And though it’s craved for, it’s wiser to remain cautious considering the state of affairs.

“Don’t get used to it.  I usually bring bad luck and …”  Death.  He frowns, forcing his mouth close to prevent himself from further souring the mood.  Although, it’s a fair warning he’s sure to have already mentioned.  Still, Noah lowers the packet from his head down to the table and reaches for a fork.  With it, he idly pokes at the soup and adds,   “I mean it when I say you’re being too kind to me.”

This time, he throws a shy look at Kanade, holding her blue gaze.  Come to think of it; her eyes are lovely …

“A-Anyway, I’m fine now!”   He blurts out, scoops up a heap of noodles, and shoves them into his mouth.  They’re still too hot, and it stings his tongue, springing tears to his eyes.  But it’s a welcomed distraction to the weird thoughts, and he manages to chew through the pain.  Simple but fulfilling!  

Noah exhales and offers a wary smile.

“Thank you.  I’ll be sure to help next time——”  Wait, there can’t be a next time like this.  He scrambles to fix his claim before there are any misunderstandings.  “I—I mean, I’ll be sure to repay you sometime … For all of your help.  I do, um … I do appreciate it.”

“Bad luck? Hmhm...That’s a funny coincidence. One of my friends already told me I was eternally cursed as well. I don’t think your bad luck can have any affect on me then, Noah. Perhaps we’re even two sides of the same coin after all. “ She gave him another gentle smile before shaking her head: 

“I don’t think so at all. And as you said before, I’m doing this for myself too, remember? I enjoy your company... There’s no need to repay me because of that reason either.”

Even if Noah talked like he didn’t intend to see her again, Kanade could tell that this came from a self-loathing place rather than him not wanting to. She genuinely didn’t believe that someone like him could bring bad luck with him. After all, he made her day already so much more special than she expected it to be.

“Ah...”  After they finished their noodles in silence, Kanade looked at the clock inside the kitchen. It was already quite late to have visitors over, wasn’t it? Not that she did mind in particular, but Noah already mentioned before dinner that he wanted to head back home.

“You want to go home, right? Before that, let’s get your clothes so you can take them with you. This apartment is really warm so I’m sure they should be dry enough by now.”

Oh, how wrong she was about her household instincts, as usual. As soon as they arrived to the bathroom where she did leave their clothes to dry, she grabbed for his top. Unfortunately, it still was dripping wet. Just when she wanted to convey him those bad news, she suddenly lost her balance because of a puddle on the ground. (That’s what happens if you don’t wring the wet fabric out before hanging them up and don’t even clean the floor afterwards.)

A surprised sound left her while slipping not so gracefully on the hard floor. “O-ouch...!” It hurt, but not like she wanted to whine too much about it in front of someone she only just met today.

Ugh, this was embarrassing... Hiding how ashamed she was with a flustered smile she did sit up and face her newly found friend again:

“Haha... looks like they’re not dry at all yet. Hm... In that case, do you want to spend the night here? I rarely use my bed anyway, so it wouldn’t be a bother at all!”

[hikkanade]

let me assign you a love language—      

a story that ends in blood

The world has always been unkind, and when you have turned to yourself for comfort you have come face to face with an empty pit which seems to be laughing. You don’t care if it kills you but once you find someone whom you love and who loves you back, you will make sure nothing happens to them. They are yours. You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that. Because it has always been about love, and it is how it always ends.

tagged by:   no one I needed to do it on here too

tagging:   @umbreance​ 

[hikkanade]

umbreance​:

“——Huh?”   But the sound of confusion comes out too slowly, too late, before Noah becomes aware of the situation.  His heart begins to race in his chest, thudding rapidly against his ribcage—against her fingertips—a marching drum in his ears.  Kanade is super close!

“Waugh!  S-Sorry!!”   He exclaims, jerking backward and stumbling a few paces away.  In his haste, Noah accidentally hits his head against the upper cabinets.  He makes a pained noise and presses a hand against the wounded spot on his head.  But that doesn’t stop the blush that creeps up his neck as quick as a match, burning hot on his skin.  Unthinkingly, he pinches the collar of the hoodie with his free hand and pulls it up to his ears to hide but remembers this is Kanade’s and refrains.  

Oh, if only the shadows would really swallow him from sight right now!

“Um …”   Noah tries, searching for a swift change of topic to remedy the awkwardness.  Instead, his eyes stray from the floor to the cabinets to the pot, only to look away again, embarrassed.   “For the noodles, I’ll just … I’ll just have whatever you’re having.”

That should work, right?

Kanade’s blue hues were locked on Noah when he abruptly moved away from her. Oh no, if he’d stumble backward like this he would ...“Noah, be care-” Her reaction was too slow though and the poor boy hit his head hard on the cabinet behind him.

“Not good... wait, I got this!” With haste, she moved towards the freezer. She often tripped and got bumps, so making an ice pack to cool an injury wasn’t anything she wasn’t familiar with. 

Once again she approached Noah closer and gently hold the ice that she wrapped up in a towel against the back of his head. 

“Are you okay? I hope this isn’t too cold...” With brisk steps, she lead him towards one of the chairs in the room and pointed towards it. 

“Please sit down and take it easy for now! I should pour the water into the cup noodles before it cools down again.”

After she could finally serve dinner as first intended, she did sit down on the chair across from him. And then... for a good while, silence dominated the room. While Kanade did have things she wanted to tell him, she prepared herself to articulate them the correct way. 

It did surprise her though. Even if she clearly was an introvert, usually her heart never jumped around like it did earlier. Was it because it has been a while since she was in an argument? Either way, after swallowing some noodles, she decided to finally show how grateful she was for this moment:

“You know... I’m glad you stayed... It’s been a while since a day was full of surprises like... that...” She blushed a little while admitting that. Even though some embarrassing things happened since she met him today, it was a nice pace of change and also... really inspiring. 

“Usually my life is way more monotone and... yeah. W-what I want to say is, thank you, Noah. Um... are you feeling any better by the way?” 

[hikkanade]

hadescure​:

The only sound that displaces his silence is a sharp exhale.  It’s always difficult to watch someone try to reach for a connection that has long been severed from the world.

Yet every aspect Kanade raised was legitimate and only echoed the concerns in his head.  She is a perceptive young lady, and because of that, Asclepius wishes he hadn’t said anything about his mother.

“Our ideals and experience may be similar,”   he says, peering down at how easily her hand has slotted into his.   “But the circumstances are vastly different—— it’s best that you don’t try to relate to me.”

But there once was a wish to speak promises in his mother’s name.  It burned so fervently within that it consumed the words with time— what was it that he wanted to say?  And, would she be proud after all?

“Well, no matter.  I only need to remember, right?”  Asclepius repeats in an attempt to convince himself, then hums in thought.  He wonders if doing so will promptly end this subtle nightmare.  But where does one begin if memory requires solving?  His gaze sweeps over the pristine temple, searching for an anchor.

Verdant hedges, ivory walls, slithering snakes … bottles of tinctures.

“Hm … I did begin studying the art of resurrection for my deceased mother, and this flask is the fruit of my labor…”   The glass fetched from his robes still contains enough medicine to turn the tides against death.  But… what next——why hasn’t he resurrected her yet?  The Servant ( or is it human, here? ) turns to Kanade with an obvious show of frustration. 

 “…Well, how do you propose helping me with this, anyway?”

“That means... you really are able to cure... death?” Sure, she witnessed it somewhat with her own eyes before but it still was a hard pill to swallow. If a cure like that would have been possible in her past... If her mother would have survived her illness, she couldn’t help but wonder how different her life would have played out. Would her father never start to despair over his job? Would he never have been hospitalized because of her?

To have such an immense impact on people’s fate as this with his abilities. Asclepius truly was amazing. But something didn’t add up with his story yet.

Before she was bold enough to ask about that though, she bit her lips. She knew this was a delicate topic. A hurtful one. Yet, this was a world where revisiting memories like these were necessary:

“But... your mother... Say, in the end... Did you succeed? C-could you bring her back?” The bitter tone in his voice when he talked about her earlier said otherwise...

When Asclepius asked her how she planned to help him, she showed him another gentle and supporting smile:

“It’s true that you have to do the most part of the work since these are your memories. But... you can talk to me about it. I’ll listen to anything you have to say. Don’t worry, it will be just between you and me. I’m here to help as best as I can! So... tell me more!”

[hikkanade]

psykinetic​:

The sound of thunder distracts him, turning his attention toward one of the windows.  Beyond its curtains, the world looks bleak on the cusp of a lightning storm.  When was this forecasted today — has that much time been spent cleaning?

“Tch, what kind of stupid——”   he grumbles before the lights give out and plunge them into darkness. The room’s ambiance seems to fall silent along with it, save for another roll of thunder outside, this time much closer and louder.

At least that seems to be the extent of it, and Add huffs loudly as an answer to Kanade’s question.  But, of course, he is okay, the vacuum was powered off before the blackout, and a little shock wouldn’t be the end of the world.  

“… How annoying.”   Add frowns, trying to distinguish the shapes in the gloam as he cautiously steps forward.  The soft pink glow from his left eye is the only tell of his position, but everything else is a muddy color.  For the umpteenth time, he recognizes how these vexing issues would be a cakewalk with Dynamo. 

But maybe there’s an emergency switch or a light source somewhere.  If Add can find his way, that is.  

There is a brief flash of muted silver, and …

“UWAH!”   He startles and jerks back after feeling something brush his arm.  That was Kanade, right?    “Hey, quit fumbling around!  Stand still or find a seat, and stay out of my way.  I’ll handle this.”

Ugh. Kanade was worried about her roommate but he seemed to be fine. Understanding that he didn’t want him to get any closer she nodded. Why was he so loud though? There was no need to yell like that. Maybe her roommate was one of the more annoying kind...

“S-sorry... Why are you so nervous anyway? Are you scared of the dark? Poor thing, hm... let me get my phone.” She looked around while checking her pockets, trying to not get disoriented in the sudden darkness. 

“Oh no...” Another defeated sigh was leaving her now. She had no device on her that could brighten this room:

“I think I left it in my room... that’s too bad. Hey, do you have anything that can project some light?”

Though another look at him awakened her to another somewhat late realization.

“Wait, that tattoo in your face and one eye are... glowing?”

Was that a superpower or was there something implemented inside of him? You never knew around here!

“Can you see with that in the dark? That’s so cool...”

[hikkanade]

yukimarimo​:

“Ridiculous? No, never. Don’t ever think that, Kanade. We have lived two different lives… Challenging in different ways… Hearing my story hasn’t made you hurt any less, after all, has it? That pain is as real as any I may have experienced.”

Still, many aspects of Kanade’s story remained hard to understand for someone unfamiliar with how her world functioned. Hopefully, Setsuna had drawn the correct conclusions.

“When my mother left and never returned… I was still very young. But I didn’t feel lonely. My father and me… We supported each other. And the other villagers, too, they all came together to help us out. The way you grew up… it sounds much lonelier.”

“But Kanade… It wasn’t your responsibility to heal your father. As the adult, he should’ve taken better care of you — and himself. And his company… he could have looked for a different one that would appreciate his contributions more. He could’ve shared his troubles with you, who must’ve understood his pain better than anyone else. Perhaps, you could have composed songs together and used music to strengthen the bond between you. Kanade… Did you hurt your father, or did he hurt himself…?”

It was an awful thing to ask, full of presumptions. Still, Setsuna could think of no other way. Kanade seemed so overburdened with guilt she shouldn’t have to carry.

“I’m sorry, Kanade. I don’t even know your father… I might be wrong, but I don’t believe whatever might have happened is your fault. And I don’t believe you’re cursed, either. Composing songs… you must’ve learned much of it from your father, right? Your talent is proof of the bond you shared. He shouldn’t have forgotten that. At least… that’s what I believe.”

It seemed like Kanade wasn’t ready to hear that her father was partly to blame for what happened. It wasn’t like he ever intended to hurt her. He had no idea he would end up getting hospitalized which lead to Kanade reading his diary!

“N-no... father was... He always tried his best! It’s me who hurt him.” Kanade insisted. The truth may be that it was hard to put the blame on anyone in this situation. Perhaps it was just a domino effect of tragic events. But even so, it was hard not to feel the guilt of what happened when stuck in Kanade’s shoes.

Once she calmed down, she gently smiled at Setsuna though. Kanade was aware that she just tried her best to comfort her. Relieving her from the crushing guilt she carried around with herself already for years. 

“Thank you for saying that though. You’re truly kind, Setsuna.” A pause. Opening up to her awakened something in her. Was this another memory or her sensing something in the girl in front of her?

“What about you though? To me, it sounds like you had your own demons in your past. So... how are you feeling today? Are you happy? Or are there regrets and feelings of guilt that still bother you as well? If it’s not too weird of me to ask, I’d like to know!”

[hikkanade]

hadescure​:

“I see…”   he says quietly, now understanding where the motive stems from.  Asclepius strives to better medicine for similar reasons, after all.  It would be hypocritical of him to deny her efforts and applause for his own.  “I did not mean to belittle you or your work.  Take pride in what you do, Kanade.  Especially if it is meant to enhance the lives of others.”

Although he beings to wonder:  can music be used to heal?  If so, consider his interest doubled.

“And, for the time being, I do work at home.  However, I am in the process of opening a clinic within Techno Solar.  All of my work will be sanctioned there once ready——”   Unfortunately, securing permits for business seems to be a long and complicated process. Asclepius would have easily solved this problem with a single spell of territory creation.  But, alas, the modern world sure is a nuisance.

“I’ll notify you when that time comes.  Although …”   He raises a sleeved hand to his mouth to hide the sudden flush creeping over his face.   “I apologize beforehand; I’m unfamiliar with this era’s music genres.“   Of course, there’s Rock, Classical, and the likes—— knowledge granted to him upon summoning.  But Asclepius hasn’t exactly been exposed to name them appropriately.

“Asclepius... thank you.” Kanade was surprised and touched by his words. Unfortunately, it was hard to take pride in what she did. Since she did see never ending composing more like a punishment for her past mistakes. But it still wasn’t deniable that there still was some passion behind what she did as well. And she was really happy that there was a mutual understanding about how important it was to improve the lives of others as well.

“Oh, I see. You’re a great doctor! You helped me out so fast with my injury, someone like you should definitely get his own clinic!” High but genuine praise from her side. “Um... if my music... I mean, If you think any of my songs would be good enough to make your future patients relax in the waiting room or anything like that. I’d feel honored if you would let it play there. Of course, um.... only if you think it’s a good idea. Before that, I’ll definitely show you though!”

When Asclepius somewhat hesitantly admitted he wasn’t too familiar with today’s music era, Kanade couldn’t help but gently smile at him. “It’s true that music changes a little with time. I was told before that my music sounds more modern than the one my father used to make. Weirdly enough, that was never my intention though... Anyway, what I meant to say is, it’s totally okay to not be familiar today’s music!”

Even though it could be seen as bad manners, she now put her phone on the table they were eating at. “If it’s okay I’d like to play a song of mine now and um... you can tell me what you think? Don’t worry, you can be honest. I appreciate genuine feedback!”

She picked on purpose a song that had some of her most unique tuning and sound effects in her opinion. Somewhat shyly she decided to press the play button on her phone. 

[hikkanade]

umbreance​:

The confession was precisely what he wanted to hear. Noah should feel angry; he should storm away from Kanade and everything she’s offered for selfishly using him.  Yet the spark never comes; the fire that burned within moments ago has quieted down into useless ash.  Instead, he finds himself recoiling at the yawning pit of shame that cropped up from his behavior.

“Oh, I—I didn’t mean … S-Sorry,”   he blurts out and bows his head, lacking the better sense to do anything else at the moment.  What in the world was he thinking?  Noah asks himself amidst an internal plea for calm.  Deep breaths and focus.  But his mind has been kicked into a whirlwind after realizing Kanade’s situation—— she wanted someone who understands what it’s like to be hurt.

“Ugh, I’m such an idiot …”   Noah continues lamentably, looking at how her hand holds onto him.   “I didn’t consider how you really feel at all.  I only assumed that you would be like everyone else.  But—”

He then raises his head, intending to face the girl with a shred of resolve.  But his attention is wrested to the pot behind her as it gurgles aggressively with boiling water, threatening to bubble over and spill.  

Noah gasps and presses forward clumsily, reaching with his shadow-stained hand past the girl to turn the stove’s dial off.  The water simmers down, and a breath of relief follows.   “That was close …”  He sighs, yet to be aware of how awkwardly his body hangs over hers.  

“N-no... you’re not. Don’t say that about yourself!” Determined she shook her head at him insulting himself. He was right about accusing her and asking her for her selfish reasons after all! But somehow he seemed to... understand her? It made her sigh out in relief!

“It’s okay, I don’t mind! You can ask me anything you want to know too.” Absentmindedly she brushed some still somewhat wet hair out of his face while he was still stammering. Not minding at all how he towered over her with the intention to intimidate her before. But then he suddenly stopped in the middle of his sentence and made a quick movement. Ack! What was happening, why was he suddenly so close?!

... Once Kanade tried to make sense of the situation again she gently moved her hand from his head to his chest now and leaned somewhat clumsily against him. She felt like she’d lose her balance else. Due to him turning the stove off behind her he was so close. Really, really close. She never heard her own heart beating in this kind of fast rhythm before. Yeah... even she was about to get nervous from their current position. 

“Um, Noah. I... I can’t turn around like this. I should, um... the cup noodles.”  

[hikkanade]

umbreance​:

Noah elicits a sound of surprise as she retakes his hand.  How many times has it been now? Two — three?  Regardless of its count, his focus pinpoints the weight and warmth of her grasp rather than the one-sided conversation.  Yet, at the same time, that awareness gives way to just how cold and empty his other hand feels.  Something is missing.

He looks down at it and flexes his fingers, even if the answer is obvious:  Noah had forgotten Clamor right by Kanade’s bedroom door.

When she turns to busy herself with the meal, he quickly turns away, too, and nearly moves to retrieve the weapon — his only friend.  But his progress is minimal, hindered by the sudden topic of familiarization, freezing him by the kitchen’s threshold.  Finally, Noah whirls around to face Kanade, his expression bared with fresh bewilderment.

“Get … to know me?”   He then asks, speculative.  This isn’t a budding friendship or a friendly hangout, so why bother?  That much was surely established moments ago.  Doubts begin to rise like bile in his throat, but he swallows them down as his eyes narrow.   “Why?” 

The boy stalks forward with new determination, spilling further questions—  “Aren’t you worried?  Nervous?"  —to unearth Kanade’s reasoning.  Why, why?  It’s about time he understands what lies behind the insistence; it’s time he stopped being cautious, too.  Clamor or not, Noah draws up before her, his form barely towering over the girl as moon eyes stare into a pair of sky-blue.

The water slowly hisses on the stove in the brief pause.

"Besides knowing my name, I’m a total stranger.  I told you, nobody helps anyone just because they feel like it—— and I’m not some helpless crybaby.  So, what do you really want from me?" 

“Hm?” Kanade made a confused sound to Noah’s question. Why did he seem suddenly so upset? She didn’t really understand. Was helping out someone for no big reason really that unrealistic to someone like him?

Even when Noah approached her closer and looked down at her, she didn’t waver, took no step back. Not like she could anyway since there was the pot with boiling water behind her. She wasn’t scared of him though, just a little surprised by the way he acted. 

He must have been hurt in the past. There was no other way for him to feel this insecure about her intentions. Trying her best to understand his pain, she looked up to him with a sad smile.

“I’m either worried or nervous... Why are you asking me that? Are you?” These words could be seen as a provocation but that wasn’t her intention at all. Kanade’s only goal was to understand him better. 

“I never said that you’re a crybaby, Noah. As I mentioned before, you seemed lonely and in pain. Perhaps a little hopeless? It’s not like I pity you, I understand the feeling too well.” 

Now even Kanade couldn’t keep eye contact because remembering how she put on a fake strong front most of the time herself, made her feel more vulnerable than she liked to be at this moment. She didn’t want to seem too sad when she was the one trying to cheer Noah up!

“Haha, but maybe you have a point. Perhaps I don’t help you out for any selfless reason like that. No, I have my selfish reasons too, I guess... I think I just didn’t want to be alone myself. Yeah, I craved to be next to someone who understands what it’s like to be hurt... I tried to find comfort in someone feeling similar like me... I’m sorry.”

Hesitantly she reached now for a part of his shirt and gently tugged on it. Almost like a desperate attempt to keep him here.

“It’s okay if you want to leave, I won’t force you to stay here. But... if you decide to stay, that is, if you still want to... I would appreciate your company as well...”

[hikkanade]

same counts for over here!!!

Yo, hey. Just a quick notice that I’ll turn this blog into an indie one. I would love to continue threads from the group that I already had on going and also will keep writing with mutuals on here! What changes is that I also branch out to other indie blogs!