#i hate too many feels at 9:30 on the morning

[prettydaisygirl]

Hi anon that asked for James teaching reader how to play here. First off, I absolutely loved it. Second off, if it's okay, I would like to ask for another if that's not too much.

Can this one be like the morning after that story where it's just the domestic life between the two. I just saw a fanart of Wolfstar brushing their teeth together and I just thought that would be a cute scene between the two.

Obviously if you hate this idea, just ignore me lol

But seriously, I love your writing. You are doing a great job!!

Hello again, nonnie!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the previous one, never worry about sending in too many requests!! This one was really sweet to write, I love soft James. Hope you enjoy, my love <3

streamer!James Potter x fem!superfan!reader and their sweet good "morning" ✿ 1.2k words

cw: NSFW 18+, fem reader, marauders as live-streamers & they all live together, established relationship, oral (f receiving), p in v, James picks reader up, some smut mostly fluff

james potter masterlist

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previous part

When you’d planned to come visit James for a few weeks, you had no idea what you were getting into. Outside of having the greatest sex of your life and watching him stream, you’d imagined sightseeing, trying new foods, and visiting all kinds of fun places, somewhere you couldn’t even imagine, maybe.

Except none of that is what’s happening. 

It turns out James is a nightowl. 

You shouldn’t be surprised, given that most nights he streams until the early hours of the morning. You’d gotten up fairly early, not outrageously, around 9:30 am. You watched James sleep for a while, washed your face and got dressed, had a coffee and pastry with Remus, and even went on a walk with Sirius and Peter. Now, it’s almost 1pm and James still isn’t awake. 

You stand at the end of his bed, watching him. You don’t want to wake him, he looks so peaceful. But you also miss him, and you don’t want him to waste the little time you two have together sleeping. 

Gently, you climb back into bed next to him. You lay on your side, face to face with your boyfriend. You’re so close, any movement from you could brush the tip of your nose against his. You can feel the soft pants of his sleeping breath against your face. 

You reach up a hand to cup James’ cheek, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. Leaning forward just a bit, you place a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Jamie…” You whisper softly, another kiss to his face. His eye twitches but he stays asleep. You can’t help but smile, and press a gentle kiss to his bottom lip, sliding a hand into his hair. You whisper his name again, and this time his eyelids flutter open. 

James inhales sharply, registering the feeling of your lips on his and he smiles into the kiss, guiding you onto your back while he slots himself between your hips.

“Good morning,” His voice is deep and raspy from sleep and you find it incredibly sexy. His hands slide behind your back just enough to climb under the fabric of your shirt. 

“Good afternoon,” You correct, your own hands sliding to James’ lower back to press him closer to you. He pulls back from your lips with a pout at your correction and instead focuses his attention on your neck. 

James wastes no time in ridding you of your outfit, and then quickly his own pajamas. His lips trace down the skin of your throat to your chest. His fingers slide between your thighs to catch your slick folds, and he gathers your wetness on his fingers before pressing them into you, curling them and spreading them inside your willing hole. His tongue glides over your nipples, sucking and nipping with enough force to have you trembling beneath him. 

James continues to kiss and lick at your soft skin, making his way down the valley between your breasts, over your abdomen, and between your thighs. You gasp sharply, hands flying to his hair. He hasn’t eaten you out before. 

“Shhh, angel,” James coos, the vibrations of his voice against you making your body jerk. Your swollen nub is aching to be soothed, and James gives it a gentle swirl with his tongue. “I’ve got you, baby.”

James sucks on your clit, his fingers continuing to curl inside you. Your back arches and you can feel James rocking against his bed to get friction as his tongue darts filthily over your sensitive bundles of nerves. You can hear the sounds he’s making, the sounds your body is making, and you tug on his hair harder. The bed creaks a bit as James’ hips continue to rock against the mattress.

You feel James’ hands grip at your ass cheeks, pressing your body as close to his face as he can. His tongue replaces his fingers, sliding over your aching hole before darting inside it, his nose nuzzling at your clit. You cum hard, toes curling as James laps up your wetness, hips moving more urgently against the bed.

Your hands tug at James’ curls, pulling him up to kiss you. You wrap your legs around his hips and James reaches down with one hand to align himself with you. He makes love to you, the both of you not shy with your sounds as he thrusts into you again and again. He gathers you into his arms, lifting you a bit from the bed as he picks up his pace. James loves to pick you up and toss you around, and judging by the look on your face and the sinful sound that slips out of your lips, you enjoy it too. 

His grunts rumble in your ear, and you drag your fingernails down his back. You can feel the way his body shudders a bit, pace becoming more frantic as James’ pleasure grows. He groans your name and tells you he loves you when he comes. 

The two of you cuddle for a short while before you finally wrangle him out of bed and into the shower. He insists on washing your body for you, paying extra attention to your boobs and your ass. He squeezes them, lathering up the soap extra well for you, and he just smiles brightly when you narrow your eyes at him accusingly. 

He lets you comb out his hair. You brush your teeth again even though you don’t really need to just to be near him, sitting on the counter while he stands beside you, one hand holding his toothbrush and the other gripping your thigh. He kisses you again as soon as the both of you have minty breath and you pull away.

“No,” You stop him, and James looks like a scolded puppy, “We have dinner plans with your friends tonight, we don’t want to make them wait.”

“But you’re so pretty…” He argues, voice low and quiet as he drags both palms up your thighs again.

“Jamie.” Your voice comes out as a warning this time and he groans, turning back to his bedroom to find some clothes to wear. You follow him and slide into one of the outfits you packed. 

James quickly gets dressed, admiring you in the mirror as you slide on your shoes. You stop, noticing the look he is giving you.

“What?” You say softly, even though you already know what he is going to say.

“I just love you,” He says with a shrug, and your heart skips a beat like it always does.

“I love you too,” You say, standing and holding out a hand for him. “Come on, loverboy. We have to go to dinner.”

James groans again but stands, squeezing your hand as you move toward the door. You reach for the door handle and pause, turning back to him as your hand rests against the metal. James’ eyebrows raise as he sees the mischievous look in your eyes.

“And afterward, you can have me for dessert again.” You say, and James laughs happily, tugging you along out the door. 

°˖✧✿✧˖°

© prettydaisygirl

[afitterbrittany]

my weight loss journey story

Everyone has a “something has to change” moment in their weight loss journey and this picture was part of mine.

It was July of 2019 and I was 23 years old. My thighs were chafing, I was out of breath from walking up a hill to sit down at a concert, and I hated every picture we took this day. I remember it took a couple days for my inner thighs to heal from the chafing and I was miserable.

I was about 258 pounds, I wore a 2X shirt and a 16 in jeans if I ever squeezed myself into them, most of the time it was just stretchy pants.

My mental health was horrible, I let people walk all over me, I stayed friends who people who were not good for me (lol my ex bff is in this picture), I ate takeout for pretty much every meal, I was thousands of dollars in credit card debt from buying stuff just to feel something, I wanted to be loved but I wasn’t ready to let myself be loved or be vulnerable, and I hated how I looked.

Physically I didn’t do anything. I would sleep in, arrive to work right on time, sit at my desk, go home at 5 with takeout, drink some wine, and watch tv. No walks, no gym, no hiking, no physical activity.

I dreaded summertime even though it was secretly my favorite season. I wanted to feel the sunshine on my skin but the second I had any exposed skin (like in this picture), I spent the whole day adjusting my clothes, worrying about how my cellulite and rolls looked, and extra hyper aware of the space I was taking up. I felt so self conscious. I didn’t wear a swimsuit for years.

My hands and feet were always swollen. I wore a size 11 ring and my feet would swell up in shoes so even a women’s 10 didn’t fit all day. My acne was persistent.

I wouldn’t make any changes for many months.

COVID hits the following March and I become hyper aware of my body and my health and how I can’t live like this.

I start going for long walks. I educate myself on what calories are and why protein is important and start to learn to cook. I purchase a stationary bike. I’m still too shy to go to the gym.

By the end of 2020, I have lost about 30 pounds and weigh 224. I meet Clay in February of 2021 and I weigh 207.2 pounds. I keep working on myself, flirting with him at work, and focusing on learning to love myself before I let someone in. I’m going to the gym every morning and lots of long walks.

By the end of 2021, I weigh 174 pounds. My then lowest weight. I maintain this for a few months and keep eating clean and exercising but I begin to eat takeout with Clay at work, often drinking more than I should.

In July of 2022 I weigh in at 176 but I begin taking Lexapro for my anxiety. It starts off by helping, then my appetite increases like crazy.

Clay makes a move in September 2022 and I’m like “oh I should probably be on birth control” and we start going on lots of food centered dates.

By our first anniversary thanks to my medications and a huge increase in eating out, I weigh 222.6 pounds.

We’re going to the gym every morning together at this point but our eating isn’t healthy. After talking with my therapist, I go off of Lexapro.

I maintain for about 7 months at 205.

November 2024, something clicks and we start meal prepping more together. We go for a long walk every Sunday. We only go out to eat once per week. We do more active dates.

Today in March of 2025, I weigh 172.6. I wear a size 6.5 ring, my feet are a 9, I wear a 6 in jeans and my top is a S or M. I love summer and wear what I want. My thighs don’t chafe. I love myself and I’m loved by the sweetest man alive and I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. I have no credit card debt and I know that buying things won’t fill the void inside you from not being happy with your life. I’m really active and I feel my best when my body is moving. I don’t drink that often and when I do it’s not very much. I’ve gotten rid of friends who treated me like dirt and only allow a handful of people access to my time and energy. My mental health has vastly improved.

Losing weight changed my life. I learned to love myself and in that process, let myself be loved. I’m happier and healthier and excited for the future.

[judespoets]

Hi can u please write a Jobe imagine where the reader keeps giving him stupid nicknames and he acts like he hates it but he lets it slide cause he loves her

nicknames | jobe bellingham

pairing: jobe bellingham x fem!reader

warnings: none

category: fluff

a/n: didn’t really have that many ideas for this so it’s shorter, hope it’s alright tho!

You shifted as you slowly opened your eyes, adapting to the bright rays of sunlight peaking through your bedroom window.

You sighed contentedly when you felt the arm around your waist squeezing slightly.

You rolled over to your left, where you were met with the face you knew all too well.

Jobe was in a deep slumber, his brows slightly furrowed and his bottom lip pouting lightly as silent puffs of air were heard from out of his mouth.

You turned your head slightly to look at the clock, which read 9:30. Even though it was Jobe’s off day, you didn’t want to spend it all in bed and you also didn’t want to completely ruin your sleep schedule as Jobe would still have to get up early again tomorrow.

So you decided to wake your sleeping boyfriend by kissing his face sloppily. And when you felt him stir underneath you and he opened his eyes to meet yours, you were content.

“Good morning pookie bear.” You said, grinning from ear to ear. You recently started calling Jobe silly nicknames because you knew he felt super awkward about it and you always made fun about it.

Nicknames in general were super awkward at the start if your relationship. Not because one of you didn't like it, Jobe just made it awkward. 'Babe' or 'Baby' wasn't a problem but Jobe always felt weird calling you anything else. Although now your real name was rather rare but those weird names you gave him were definitely not his favorite.

“Babe, stop that.” He said while his voice was muffled due to his head being buried in the pillow.

“you know i would never do that, my honey pie.” you said laughing, giving Jobe one last kiss and getting up.

You just heard a groan from behind you as you made your way to the kitchen downstairs to start on some breakfast.

After the two of you shared the morning hours eating breakfast and getting ready you were now outside on a little walk. Jobe really thought the nicknames stopped by now, which was not the case at all. Although his complaints did faint slightly.

“Jobe, sweet pea. Come here look!” You shouted towards your boyfriend as you sat on a bench which you found. It was the perfect view over the city.

You felt Jobe sit next to you and putting an arm around your shoulder. “It’s beautiful honeybutt.” He said teasingly.

When you heard him calling you something cringe for the first time, you realize just how awkward it really is. Your eyes widened and your hand flew over your mouth quickly to which your boyfriend just responded with a chuckle.

“See? Now you know how i feel. Will you stop that now?”

You looked at Jobe, your head coming dangerously close to his. “I will never stop honey bunny.” You laughed against his lips.

Jobe turned his head away groaning and putting his head in his hands.

“Don’t act like you secretly love it, babe.” You said, nudging his shoulder.

And let’s be honest, he did.

[vampsol]

₊˚⊹⋆ HEECHWE 3K CELEBRATION .𖥔 ݁ ˖

First of all, I would like to thank every single person who has followed me since going from 2K to 3K, and in such a short time based on the numbers—it's unbelievable. Coming back last August felt really daunting as I was unfamiliar with all the new groups aside from Enhypen that immediately stole my heart, and I am still working day to day on my own imposter syndrome, need to compare myself and my works to others—long story short, it hasn't been easy. And now we're here and I'm so happy with the ideas I have and the friends I've made getting to this point. It's insane that we're here and only going up. I could not have been in this position without all of you who have taken a chance on me and my writing—the soft, the smut, the everything in between. And this may be so mushy to include BUT to my friends (just to tag a few)—@innocygnet @faeyun @bambiihee @ghstzzn @lovetaroandtaemin @frenchkisstheabyss @prkhaven @tinycatharsis @xomakara @okiedokrie-main @temptaetions @kwanisms and so many others I've loved reaching this part of my journey with—I would not be here without y'all. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much to everyone, and I hope I can continue to create stories you enjoy ♥︎.

Now, onto the celebratory part of this celebration...

I am opening my inbox to HARD THOUGHTS for all the groups I write for—Enhypen, Seventeen, Stray Kids, Ateez, and TXT! Outside of the topics I do not write for (please see my guidelines for more information on that), anything is on the table! I have provided some ideas below from two lists I will link under the cut, and you can request more than one prompt. Even if someone does a suggested prompt before you, you can still request it for a different idol! Requests should be formatted like this: (member) + (hard thoughts). Ideally, I would love you to repost this to spread the word for the event, but it's not required.

The suggested thought prompts are down below!

Both prompt lists (not mandatory just some ideas!) are originally from @prompt-heaven ♥︎

1) classic only one bed, then oh no we’re cuddling in our sleep that then evolves into sex

2) hate fucking

3) friends with benefits 

4) first time

5) phone sex

6) public sex

7) possessive sex

8) sex outdoors

9) gangbang

10) casual threesome between pals

11) cockwarming after a long day in order to calm down together

12) sex pollen

13) high on adrenaline kind of sex

14) make up sex

15) break up sex

16) inexperienced person gets a little “lesson”

17) reunion sex

18) complicated sex with an ex

19) angry sex in the middle of a fight

20) gentle comforting sex

21) overwhelmed, but happy crying during sex 

22) crying crying during sex that leads to a pause or early end to comfort and take care of whatever emotions bubbled over 

23) depression sex in order to feel something good for once

24) messy drunk sex that is then forgotten the morning after

25) filming it, either for private purposes or because they’re amateur pornstars

26) mutual masturbation

27) spying on/walking in on their partner touching themself 

28) sex in exchange for a favour

29) car sex

30) quiet airplane bathroom sex

31) touching the other while at the movies

32) sex while there is the background noise of a rainstorm outside

33) being snowed in together and fucking in front of the fireplace 

34) pool/hot tub sex

35) stargazing that turns into sex

36) the classic “oh, let me help you put some sunscreen on” but then the little massage turns into something more

37) sex while camping

38) fucking in the bar bathroom and being too drunk to care about being quiet 

39) when the teasing in the dressing room gets a little too hot

40) shower/bath sex

I look forward to seeing you guys in my inbox! Again, thank you so much. Here's to another thousand! ♥︎

[alexsoenomel]

Rise and Shine (Dean Winchester x Reader fluff)

Requests: May I please request a Dean x reader where he finds out how ticklish she is one morning while snuggled up in bed together. He makes it his mission to find all her ticklish spots and finds her laughter absolutely adorable 🥰

Summary: Dean trying to wake up the reader from a coma.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Just fluff and I guess American Gods spoilers??

Word count: 1k+

Note: Wrote this because I was sad. Enjoy!

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)  

“What are you reading?” Dean asked as he snuggled against you, placing a kiss on your shoulder. 

“American Gods,” You said, showing him the cover. It had two guys aka the main characters standing next to a black Chevy impala and two crows watching them.

“Is that…Baby?” He asked, all excited. At heart he was still a kid – one of the many reasons why you loved him. He was sometimes insufferable, with his silly jokes and teasing, but you wouldn’t trade him for the world. 

“Hmmm, good eye.” 

“What is it about?” 

You knew he wasn’t going to leave you alone, so you took your reading glasses off, placed a book marker on the page you were currently reading and put it on your lap. 

“You know how we sometimes kill Gods?” You sometimes didn’t believe your own voice when you would say shit like this. Killing Gods, vamps, demons…you name it. Sometimes it all sounded too far-fetched to be true. “And it all seems too crazy to be true?”

“Yeah, sounds like you took too many happy pills when you say it like that.”

“Yeah, well this is worse. Mythology on crack basically.” 

“It can’t be that bad?”

“In the first chapter you learn about vaginal vore, Dean.” You said, putting the book on your night stand, along with glasses. 

“The what now?” 

“Exactly.” 

It was a Friday, and since being a haunter wasn’t exactly working 9 til 5, you decided to go to bed early. You were planning to catch the sunrise and hit the road the next day. A new case, a new town – same old, same old. 

As you turned the lights, Dean was already snuggled up against you, pulling you closer by your waist. His nose was in your freshly washed hair, as he placed a gentle kiss just under your ear, making you shiver. You rubbed your ass against his boxers and as a result he exhaled deeply.

“Don't!” He whispered. You bit your lower lip, trying to swallow a chuckle. “Sleep, or you’re driving tomorrow!” 

“Not a chance!” You said. Even though Dean was overly protective of his Baby he would still let you drive from time to time. You just hated driving, especially driving in the morning. You hated mornings. 

“Then good night, sweetheart!” He said, pulling you closer like that was even possible. You naturally had lower body temperature than Dean, so his body warmth would always make you sleepy. His scent in your nose, skin to skin – he was home. 

“Good night, handsome.” 

***

Dean woke up before you, like always. After showering and getting dressed he went to the kitchen and saw that Sam was already up, drinking coffee. It was almost 6am. 

“Mornin’.” 

“Mornin’” Sam said. “Are you driving?” 

“Yeah.” Dean said, filling  two mugs with coffee black as the night. “Give me 30 minutes, she is still asleep.” 

“Okay.” 

He tasted the bitterness of the semi-warm coffee, feeling every nerve in his brain activating. Nothing could beat the taste of black coffee in the morning for him. He felt like he was human again. When he went back to his room, you were still in a coma, only your hair was peeking from the covers. He placed the mugs on the nightstand.

“Rise and shine, princess!” He whispered, moving your hair from your face. You didn’t budge. He knew you were a heavy sleeper and the only way he was able to actually wake you up was with physical contact. He went under the covers and snuggled against you. 

"Wake up, beautiful!" 

You were half awake, feeling his warmth against you. You didn't want to wake up, your body was heavy and you could feel how tired you were. You've always said you will get proper sleep once you are dead and it was true. The life you were living wasn't for people who had a normal sleep schedule. A sign left your lips and your eyes refuse to open. 

"Sam, made coffee!" 

Nothing.

His fingers started to draw small circles on your belly as you squirmed. The sensation was strange, enough to pull you back to the Earth, finally. 

"Mmm no!" You mumbled, snuggling your head under his chin. He smelled fresh like pines and you could feel the fabric on his body; he was already dressed. It hit you. It was already time to get up. Dean's hand was resting on your side.

"Mmm yes!" He said and kissed the top of your head. 

"Five minutes!" 

"It's never five minutes with you!"

He started doing the same thing again, brushing his fingers against your skin making you squirm. You mumbled something under your breath and moved his hand from your naked body.

"What is it?"

"That tickles." 

Dean made an "oh" sound when he realized what you were talking about. Maybe that will wake you up?

"You ticklish?" He asked.

Still groggy you mumbled no but he didn't believe you. 

Instead his hand went on your thigh and again he started drawing small circles as lightly as he possibly could. 

"Stop!" You mumbled again, growing annoyed by the second.

"YOU ARE!" He said. 

This time he went in with full force. He wanted to discover your weak spots as his fingers touched any naked surface he could find, and since you slept in only your underwear it was easy. 

"NO, DEAN!" Your eyes were fully open now and you were awake. Your instinct kicked in and you tried to get him off you, kicking your feet, but he was holding you with his other hand. 

"Oh yes!"

Your still sleepy body was now awake and spasming, feeling rather uncomfortable. You hated that feeling. You didn't want to laugh and yet you couldn't stop. 

"STOP IT!" 

He took both of your hands and put them above your head, now on top of you inches away from your face. The smell of coffee in his breath on your face and a silly little smirk watching you as you were finally fully awake and aware of your own existence. 

"Good morning sunshine," his voice was deep as the Pacific and raspy enough to make you shiver. 

His lips met yours in a light kiss.

"From now on I'm waking you up like this." 

"Please don't!" 

"You laugh like a house, it's adorable!" 

You frowned and lightly punched him in the shoulder.

"Eat me,Winchester!"

"I'll when we finish the case!" He winked. 

[shanastoryteller]

Happy pride!!! I would die for a continuation of lady mo please!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39

Wei Wuxian is keeping himself upright through sheer force of will and his utter refusal to let Lan Zhan be right about anything.

He has been sort of exhausted lately, but he’s been training himself into the ground and keeping to ridiculous Lan morning routines and he has a curse mark slowly killing him, so he thinks he’s entitled. He would have made it to the Jin tower just fine if he hadn’t run into Song Lan and had to hunt down a town fierce corpses and fight Xue Yang. That alone would leave most people exhausted, so he has a perfectly good excuse for his vision to be going fuzzy on the edges.

Except he’d literally rather fall off his sword and snap his neck then admit that. He can’t even let that happen, because A-Qing is flying on his sword with him, and she’s not even a cultivator. Her bones will break a lot easier than his will.

He’s not even injured. Or, well, not any injuries that count. He once fought off fierce corpses right after having his core ripped out, being tortured, and dropped from a height high enough to kill. Some bruises and cuts are nothing, and they don’t feel like anything now. Maybe he should have let Xue Yang stab him a couple of times. It would have made everything more believable and also would have let him nap with his dignity intact.

They land back at the inn and the rest of the Lans look extremely relieved and then confused when they see their newest additions. Except for Jin Guangyao, who only shows that he’s noticed them by raising a single eyebrow and looking to him immediately.

Jin Guangyao is a stone cold bitch that’s too smart for anyone’s own good. Wei Wuxian sort of regrets that they’d never had any reason to really get to know one another during the war. Surely Jin Guangyao could have steered him away from some of his worse decisions.

“We’re bringing guests,” he announces to all of them, jumping to the ground and nudging A-Qing to do the same with a guiding hand on her hip. “Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, who I assume you all already know. And A-Qing. They’ve had a rough time and we’re going to be very nice to them.” He looks over to Lan Xichen. “I guess it’s a good thing that you brought the carriage. They can ride in there the rest of the way.”

The awkward silence is broken by Jin Guangyao saying, “Madame Jin is not fond of accommodating extra guests.”

Madame Jin is going to make Jin Guangyao deal with it because she’s petty that way. Apparently Jin Zixuan plays interference as much as he can, but considering he’s no longer fighting fit and the perfect heir he once was, his ability to influence his mother has been similarly reduced.

A politician down to her core. Wei Wuxian might be able to admire it if it didn’t make him hate her so much.

“I’m not fond of Madame Jin, so I’m sure it even outs,” he says carelessly.

Some of the Lan go to the effort to pretend to be appalled but most of them seem to have no problem agreeing, regardless of all the rules of propriety and respecting one’s elders that he’s breaking. People take their cue from their leaders and Lan Xichen is straight up just pretending he didn’t say that, probably because he agrees.

He’s treated to the rare sight of Jin Guangyao’s dimples. “Can you at least pretend not to be a menace? I can only put out so many fires at once.”

“I can pretend,” he agrees and then A-Qing is faking a coughing fit to hide her giggles.

[cherryluvrx3]

meat lovers amirite??

Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas

Chapter 9

[masterlist]

It was finally Saturday morning, the anticipation for today had been killing me. After we all met up for the first time at lunch, Dave took it upon himself to make a group chat for him, Karkat and I called “Sigma Meeting Room” which Karkat hated. No matter how many times he tried changing the name, Dave would change it right back. 

We talked back and forth about specifics of our hangout like my address and what we’d be eating, turns out that pizza was absolutely off the table. I guess with the jobs they have, it’s only natural you’d get a bit sick of it. So we decided we’d get Chinese takeout delivered to us. 

I had woken up pretty late, the alarm clock on my bed reading 12:26 though I wasn’t really worried because they shouldn’t have been coming until two. That would’ve given me more than enough time to clean up a bit and set things up for us to do.

I had just finished brushing my teeth when I heard the doorbell ring. 

“Coming!” 

I put my toothbrush away and walked out the bathroom while whoever was outside took it upon themselves to start ringing it repeatedly. 

“I SAID IM FUCKING COMING!?” I yelled before stomping to the door and yanking it open. 

To my surprise there stood Dave, a bookbag on his back and a plastic bag which appeared to be filled with some snacks. The plastic bag was a bit see-through so I could notice chips and ice cream among other things inside.

“Uh- hey? What are you doing here so soon? It’s only 12:30?” I ask but step to the side, letting him in.

“Oh yeah, hope you don’t mind me coming early. Me and my bro uh, got into a little.. disagreement of sorts. Just wanted to get out the apartment ASAP.” He says as he goes to the living room, setting his stuff down. 

“Oh was it a.. nasty argument..?” I ask, unsure if he’s doing alright or not. 

“Not particularly. My bro’s just a complicated guy. I try not to let that shit get to me.” He shrugs as he takes a seat on the couch.

“What do you mean by ‘that shit’ exactly?” I wonder as I sit next to him. Dave gets visibly uncomfortable as if he wasn’t expecting me to ask for the details.

“Uh- y’know like.. y’know?” 

“No I don’t know?”

“It’s kinda complicated- I know you don’t really wanna hear it-“

“I’m fine with listening really! If you’re open to talking about it, that is. If you need someone to just vent to or something I don’t mind.” 

Dave looks to me then averts his gaze just as quickly, in his mind he’s considering if he should or not. Talking about his own feelings on serious topics is a bit foreign to him and while we aren’t super close yet, Dave is the kinda guy who’s emotions and thoughts just end up spilling out his mouth anyways eventually after trying to bottle them up for so long. 

Plus this is already something that's leaving a heavy pit in his stomach, he feels like if he doesn’t let it out now, it’ll stay weighing on his mind and he won’t be able to enjoy himself later. 

“It’s like- well…” he trails off as he tries to find the words. “Not to like- trauma dump or whatever,” “Well I mean I did ask,” “ Right , um, our dad uh, wasn’t really a good guy right? I think.. No, I know he left long lasting effects on us but in.. different ways. With Dirk he’s so… quiet and mysterious 24 fuckin’ 7. He’ll yap your ear off and say nothing all at the same time. Like bro loves grilling up nothing burgers like it’s his passion. It’s.. irritating because I want him to like,” his hands move as he speaks, somewhat trying to demonstrate what he means, “ come to me if something’s bothering him. I don’t want him to just sit in a pit of his issues because he feels he’s ‘less of a man’ for having emotions? I mean he’s my brother! I can tell when he’s normal Dirk weird or weird Dirk weird. But when I try to talk to him about it, he always shrugs me off saying shit like “ It’s not a big deal ” or “ You’re too young to understand ” like you’re only 3 years older than me douchebag!?” Dave exasperates before sighing and running a hand through his hair before starting to rub at his eyes under the shades. 

“Plus I… want someone I can talk to too.. if something’s bothering me. But because of him I sort of.. feel like I’m wrong for wanting that..” he mutters. He peaks at me from the corner of his eye, trying to gauge my reaction. 

“Hmmm…”

“Ugh- I said so much. Sorry that’s fucking embarrassing just pretend I didn’t-“

“I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting someone to talk to when you’re going through shit.” I cut him off before he can start to freak out more. 

“I mean, humans are social beings, we need communities n’ all that. Even if your bro might’ve closed off his emotional communication station, mine is open anytime you need to chat.” I smile and give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before heading to the fridge to put away the ice cream and other drinks he brought with him. He’s quiet as he sits on the couch, his hands rub at his cheeks as he tries to fight off the heat rising from his neck. 

“Thanks.” He mutters. “But yeah, that’s the basics of it. I try to get my edgy bro to be more open and then he gets mad that I'm ‘prying on him’ or whatever." Dave says from the couch as I walk back.

"Well," I start as I flop down next to him, "If you want him to be more open then maybe you should start? I mean, I don't know your bro but maybe he'll get more used to the idea if you take the first step? It doesn't have to be anything too deep or personal- just something that can help build the foundation for actually being upfront with his feelings y’know?" I look at him to see now he takes my advice on the situation. He leans back, arms spread and resting on the top part of the couch as he thinks to himself. Luckily for me, he’s so wrapped in his own thoughts he doesn’t notice me staring at him. Really, I should be more embarrassed about how I’m shamelessly checking him out but I’m more concerned with taking in the style of his hair and how it frames his face, shape of his jawline, the freckles and blemishes that cover his skin, the miscellaneous cuts and scars scattered about. He swallows and my eyes trail the movement of his adam’s apple as he does, looking lower to peek at the skin of his collarbones that can slightly be seen through the gap of the collar of his baggy shirt. The freckles seem to cover his chest too. How far down do they go? Do they die down on the parts of skin that don’t get much sun? I want to see it. I want to see him. Will he let me see? 

“Ah ahem, ” He clears his throat and looks at me through the corner of his eye.

Shit. Caught red-handed.

He looks a bit off to the side, his cheeks heating up. “U-uh yeah that sounds like a good start. I’ll try it out.” His voice cracks as he brings his arms back down, one reaching up to scratch a nonexistent itch on his neck and the other fidgeting with the end of his shirt. He looks embarrassed and almost like he’s trying to cover up from my intense gaze. 

God. I’m such a freak. Can I be fucking normal? Tweaking over a peak of collarbones? Holy shit you’d think I’m an old geezer from the 1800’s seeing a sliver of skin from a lady’s ankle or something- GET A GRIP! I yell to myself as I get up. “Uh, you said you’d be bringing your Xbox right? We can uh plug it in right now?” I said awkwardly trying to change the weird mood my creepiness brought out. “H-huh? Oh! Y-yeah right..” He mumbles as he reaches into his backpack, taking it out.

“So you had it in your backpack huh? I was wondering what was in there. Last I’d seen, it practically floated down when you tossed it to the ground when we ate together.” I joked as he got up to plug it all in. 

“Well yeah, can’t just walk around with a Xbox in my arms, that’s like asking to be mugged.” His voice strained as he leant to reach behind the TV stand to plug the console to the power outlet. 

“True…” I muttered before taking my phone out of my pocket. “I’m gonna text Karkat and see if he can come earlier so it’s not just us.. By ourselves.. For an hour..”

“..right”

Karkat save us. Please save us from just being stuck on our own.  

Me

-KARKATTTTT

-KARKAT KARTKATT

-KARYU

-KARJAT

-KARKAT!!!!

-KA

-RKAT!!

Karkat

-SHUT UP STOP SPAMMING ME

-WHAT????

Me 

-wyddd :3

Karkat

-Is that seriously all you wanted to ask??

Me

-Sorta

-just tell me wyd!!

Karkat

-I’m sorting through the movies I have. I’m only gonna bring 2 because I’m guessing we’re gonna be doing more than watching movies 

-I just can’t decide which ones to bring 

Me

-Okay well hurry and decide!! And come over!!

-NOWWWW!!!!

Karkat

-WHYY???

-We’re not supposed to be there till over an hour

Me

-DAVE IS ALREADY HERE!!

-COME NOWW!!!

Karkat

-HE IS??

-SO WHAT

-WHY ARE WE YELLING 

Me

-BECAUSE ITS FUCKING AWKWARD!!!

-GET HERE NOWWWW!!!

Karkat

-FINE ILL BE THERE IN LIKE 20

Me

-MAKE IT 15!!!

“Okayyyyy he’s on his way.” I say looking up from my phone and seeing him now sorting through the games he brought with him.

“Alright. I brought a couple multiplayer games with me. Any particular preferences?” Dave asks as he spreads them out on the living room table.

“Hmmm…”

“Oh look, Tony Hawk Pro Skater. An oldie but a classic.” He waves the case in my face.

“Pro Skater? Isn’t that just the shitty skating game filled with bugs?”

“Hey! Being a shitty skating game filled with bugs is what gives it its charm.” He snickers before tossing it back on the table. 

“You brought GTA?”

“Do ya wanna play that?”

“Yeah I’d like to but you can’t really play multiplayer with just one TV.”

“Oh damn, right.” He takes the game and tosses it back into his backpack.

“How about Super Smash Bros?” I ask, lifting it up from the table.

“Sure. We could probably play a round or two before Kat gets here. FYI I’m totally gonna kick your ass, just letting ya know before you get to whining.” Dave arrogantly says before handing me a controller and sitting on the couch. 

“Well FYI, I’m not above using cheap tricks like kicking you in the ribs to win...” 

“Okay, chill, is it ever that serious?”

“ It’s always that serious..”

-----------

Karkat stood in front of the door checking one last time to make sure he was at the right apartment before knocking.

...

No answer?

He knocked again.

...

Nothing.

Okay now he was starting to get pissed off.

He raised his fist ready to start pounding on the door when it swung open to reveal Dave who was out of breath, red in the face from exasperation, his glasses crooked and hair a mess.

“.. What the hell went on?” 

“I was winning at smash 4-0 and they got pissed and started wrestling me bro I’m so serious I thought I was gonna die.” Dave explained as he stepped to the side letting Karkat in.

“Oh my god you’re so dramatic. Just say you’re weak as shit man.” I said as I walked to the doorway to greet Karkat.

“You look pathetic, honestly..” Karkat muttered as he fixed Dave’s glasses for him nonchalantly and patted down a few stray hairs before turning to me. “Since you rushed me I brought my top 5 and I’ll decide which ones we’ll actually watch here.” Karkat says holding up a bag filled with some DVDs. 

“Well, when you put 'em on, just know I’m gonna be knocked out having a nap thanks to those movies taking me on an all expenses paid trip to snoozeville.” Dave sighed as we all headed to the living room. “Whatever Dave I couldn’t give less of a fuck about your complaining even if I had an abundance of fucks ready to give away. I’m talking warehouse level amounts of fucks that come in BUNDLES. ON SALE. And I still wouldn’t give any to you.” Karkat sat on the couch, me on his left, Dave on his right.

“Besides, (Y/n) said I can bring whatever I want and since it’s their house that’s all that matters right?” He turns to me before his eyes widen, coming to a sudden realization. He looks me up and down.

“Uhh.. what?” I ask, confused by the sudden silence from him.

“Are you wearing my clothes?” Karkat asks.

“Huh?” I look down and lo and behold, he’s right. “Oh yeah! I’ve kinda been using them as pajamas for a while, they’re pretty comfy. I know I already thanked you but seriously thanks. You really saved my ass. From being exposed that is.” I laugh patting his back. “But if we’re being honest, I doubt I’m ever gonna give these back. If you want I could give you some of my clothes or somethin’” I say.

“Oh. Huh. Ok.” is all Karkat says before going to sort through his DVDs. Even with him looking away from me, I can see the tips of his ears turning red. What I don’t see is Dave shooting Karkat a look, wiggling his eyebrows only for Karkat to stomp on his foot with an annoyed huff. 

“OW, DICK!” Dave yells. 

“Huh?” 

“It’s nothing, don't worry about it.” Karkat grumbles trying to will away the intensifying blush on his cheeks.  

“..I think I’m gonna put together the cinnamon rolls so we can have them as a little snack before we order food later.” I say as I get up.

“A little snack? Wouldn’t that be more like desert?” Dave asks “Yeah.” “So shouldn’t you make them later?” “I want them now .” I say and head to the fridge so I can pull out the cans of dough.

“Do you want help?” Karkat asks from the couch.

“No it’s alright. Besides I feel like if i let you guys make 'em they’re gonna turn out fugly as fuck.”

“WHAT!!” “Hey man, not cool.”

“Whatevs!” I say back before popping open a can.

--------------------------------------------

haiiii.......... it's been so long.... sorry for taking a bajilion years to update :( on a good note for me, i'm gonna be graduating highschool soon as top 3 of my class!!! yippeeee the hang out isnt over yet, the next chapter they're still gonna be chillin together and idk what chapter i'll have it specifically but i think they're gonna have a accidental sleep over at dave's house i say accidental bc they're just hanging out really late and fall asleep 2gether!! how cute. i'll try to finish chapter 10 soon and post it here and ao3 see you l8r!!

[hxschi]

Just A Prank (wc; 2,371)

It’s the morning after the prank and Sam realises the twins never came back.

...

The space beside Sam is empty when she wakes; the pillows in the same position they were last night, the cover undisturbed. Nobody slept beside her in the bed last night.

There’s a sickening, unwelcome feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Where was Hannah?

Sam pushes back the covers, the cold already seeping into her bones but she pushes forward, creeping out into the hallway. The lodge was dead silent, everybody still asleep, the hallway still cast in shadows but Sam knows this lodge like her own house and in the maze of rooms the lodge holds she knows whose room is whose.

She opens Beth’s door hoping that maybe the twins chose to sleep together last night but the room is empty, the bed hasn’t been touched and Sam knows, as desperately as she wants to ignore it, she knows neither twin came home last night.

.:..:.:.:.:.:.:.

“Maybe they went to the guest cabin?” suggests Ashley.

“With Mike and Em? Yeah, I don’t think so, Ash,” says Jess.

“Maybe they found somewhere else,” poses Matt. “They know this mountain better than the rest of us, there’s probably loads of cabins on here.”

“Or they came back and are just sleeping somewhere else,” says Jess, her hangover causing frustration to tone her words. “This lodge has too many rooms anyway.”

Sam stays quiet. She knows the twins aren’t here, that they never came back last night. Something happened to them and they were wasting time discussing it.

Her eyes drift over to Josh, still asleep on the couch where his sisters left him. God, somebody is going to have to tell him.

She will have to tell him.

Sam brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. The others are still throwing out suggestions as to where the twins could be but Sam has stopped listening.

“Guys,” she softly calls to them and all three stop talking and look at her. “We need to wake up Josh.”

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

He hates them all.

It is 9:30 in the morning, his head is pounding like there’s no tomorrow, and his sisters’ friends are telling him that those same sisters never came home last night.

And he is just learning about this now.

He hates them all.

“So you’re telling me,” Josh says, his face in his hands as his severely hungover brain tries to process it all. “That you pulled a prank on one of my sisters that caused her to run out of the lodge in the middle of the night, in the middle of winter, that caused my other sister to follow her and none of you thought it was a little odd that they never came back?” His eyes fall to Jess standing in front of him. “What the fuck, Jessica?”

“We- I…We didn’t think she would run out of the lodge, Josh.” She at least has the decency to look guilty. “It was just a joke.”

“You know Hannah isn’t like the rest of us. The pranks we pull on each other, we can’t do that with her.” Josh sighs, standing up. There was just one more thing he couldn’t wrap his head around. “Why didn’t you go after them?”

“That was my fault.” It’s Sam who speaks up and Josh turns to her, shocked for a moment that she even had a part in this.

“Mike wanted to go after her before Beth came out. I told him no.” She sighs, shaking her head. “I thought she wouldn’t want to see him but I think that’s why she ran out anyway.” She gives Josh a small, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

He finds his anger melting ever so slightly. He knows if Sam could change this, she would. He squeezes her shoulder gently. “It’s okay, Sam.” Then he sighs again. “I’ll take some Advil then we can get going.” He looks at Jess. “Go to the guest cabin and wake up Mike and Emily, they can help. Matt, go with her.” He looks to Ashley. “Ashley, wake up Chris, he needs to know what’s happened.” Ashley nods.

“What do you want me to do?” asks Sam, standing up.

“You can come with me while I call my parents.”

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

The police want to take statements but Josh tells them it can wait until after the search and for that Jessica is grateful. They’re split up into five groups but even that isn’t enough to cover the expanse of the mountain. The group Jess is part of were tasked with looking around the fire tower area and so far they had found nothing but some broken signs near a cliff edge that their search party leaders told them to stay away from.

“This is all our fault,” she hears Emily say for the tenth time this morning. Jess huffs, rolling her eyes.

“We didn’t know she’d run out, Em!” Jessica shines her flashlight around. There was nothing here. Can she go inside now, she’s freezing.

“I did say we should go after her,” says Mike and Jess glares at him.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because Sam said—”

“Since when do you listen to what Sam says?” asks Jess. She stops in her tracks, turning to the other two. “There’s nothing here, let’s go,” and starts trudging her way back.

“What do we tell the police?” asks Emily. “I don’t remember anything. What if they try to blame us?”

“They won’t,” says Jess, convincing herself as much as she was trying to convince Emily. “We didn’t do anything. All we tell them is we play pranks on each other all the time and usually it ends with the other person laughing. No one has ever ran away before and we didn’t think it would happen now. Nobody is here and it is freezing, can we go please?” Jessica walks off without another look towards Mike or Emily. They can stand out here worrying about what they’ll say to the police but Jessica would every much like to be indoors now.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

The police station was tiny. Dank and dingy, the walls had weird stains on them and the whole place smelt of piss. All eight of them had been ushered into a small room. They weren’t allowed to talk and a bored looking cop had been sent to babysit and make sure they followed the no talking rule. They would have been put into eight separate rooms if the station had eight difference rooms.

One by one they are called in no particular order. The times they were in there differed two; Chris and Josh knew nothing so they were in and out. Matt and Ashley were in much longer than the other two but not as long as Sam had been. Jess was currently breaking the record, half an hour they had been speaking to her with Mike just behind her clocking 27 minutes. Emily only knew this because there was nothing else to do other than watch the clock. They couldn’t talk and their phones had been confiscated. Emily was the last to be called into the interrogation room so for almost 2 hours she had sat there clock watching.

The interrogation room was as dank and dark as the rest of the station. The cop who had taken the lead on the twins disappearance- as Emily had heard them referring to it as now- is sat on the other side of the table. She smiles as Emily enters.

“Hi,” she says still smiling. “You must be Emily. I’m Annie.” She gestures for Emily to enter the room and when Emily does another cop shuts the door behind her. She hears the snick of a lock locking into place and stares at it.

“It’s okay,” says Annie coaxing Emily towards the table and chair. “It’s just so people outside know this room is in use.” With a gentle force on her shoulders she coaxes Emily to sit down and then moves back to her own seat. “I hear your friends call you Em. Can I call you Em?”

Emily shrugs. “I guess so.”

Annie smiles again. “Good. Now Em, you’re not in any trouble. We just need to get a picture about what happened last night, okay?”

“What if I don’t remember stuff?”

“That’s fine. I just need you to write down what you can remember.” Annie hands a clipboard and pen towards Emily. “Once you’re done, I have some questions I need to ask.”

Emily nods and picks up the pen, she hovers over the page, wondering how to start, trying to recall as much of last night as she can.

She had dealt with cops once, last year, when Jacob Webb got pulled over for speeding and Emily was trying not to get busted for being high in the back of his car. She doesn’t remember much of that either.

She writes down whatever she can remember, fumbles a bit on who’s idea the prank was- was it hers or Jess’s?- She can’t remember who said what so she leaves that out, she remembers hiding under the bed with Jess and someone bursting in and then Hannah running away.

Her statement is a paragraph at best and she sheepishly hands it to Annie.

If Annie has any complaints about how short Emily’s statement is she doesn’t voice them. Instead, she files it away and turns back to Emily.

“So pranking each other seems to be a regular thing in this friendship group?”

Emily nods. “We do it all the time, it’s sorta our dynamic, I guess.”

“And is Hannah often on the receiving end?”

Emily shakes her head. “The rest of us just laugh it off. We’re mad at first but then we see the funny side. Hannah…” She sighs. “Hannah doesn’t do that, she takes it personally and it’s not fun when someone takes it personally.”

“And knowing this you went ahead and pranked her anyway.”

Emily shrugs. “I guess. I just wanted her to stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Trying to get Mike’s attention.” She leans back in the chair and crosses her arms. “You know how annoying it is when somebody’s after your boyfriend?”

“I see…”

“But I didn’t think she would run away. It was just a prank.”

A silence settles between them before Annie speaks again.

“Thank you Em, you’ve been very helpful. You can go rejoin your friends now, I’ll get somebody to drive you back to the lodge. You can get your things and someone will drive you to the airport.”

Jessica is waiting for her when she leaves the interrogation room.

“You were in there a while,” she says upon seeing Emily.

Emily glances up at the clock and sees she’s high scored at 32 minutes. Emily always comes out on top.

“Guess I remembered more than I thought.”

“They’ll find them, Em. They have to.”

Because if they don’t we’ll always be remembered as the ones who killed Hannah and Beth.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Annie spends the night sifting through all eight statements. Christopher and Joshua’s don’t yield much information- they were asleep through the entire thing. The other six statements are virtually identical: Jessica and Emily were the masterminds, Michael was the bate, Ashley and Matthew were complicit (Matthew even mentions recording it on a camera) Samantha tried to stop it but failed and Bethany Washington had no idea any of it was happening. By all accounts it was a prank gone wrong, no one could explain where the girls had gone so why did Annie still have two missing teenagers and what happened between 2 and 9:30am?

A knock on the door startles her but it’s only her partner, Finn.

“Any suspects yet?” he asks.

Annie places the folder with the statements inside down on the desk and shakes her head. “They didn’t do it. Well, outside of causing the girls to run out but other than that, they know nothing.”

“You’ll find them, Annie.”

“Will I?” Annie asks because she was having some serious doubts. “The most I’ve ever dealt with is some off-season hunting, never…this.”

Finn leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms and looking deep in thought.

“There was that guy, wasn’t there? The one Melinda Washington complained about- the one who said not to build on the mountain- could he have something to do with this?”

It was something but Annie wasn’t convinced.

“As far as I’m aware that was all settled but maybe…We need to keep looking, they’re somewhere on this mountain.”

“Whatever you say, boss.” And with that Finn leaves.

Annie sits, contemplating Finn’s words for a moment. She eyes the filing cabinet and just as she is about to wheel herself over to it does the phone ring.

“Sheriff’s office, Deputy Sheriff Cline speaking.”

“Drop the case, Annie.”

“What?”

“Drop it.” It’s Sheriff Hughes who speaks to her and he sounds serious.

“Why? What’s happened?” Annie asks.

“I just need you to let it go.”

“Two teenage girls are missing Don, I can’t just forget about it, the Washingtons are wanting—”

“I’ll pay the Washingtons off,” Hughes interrupts her. “I just need you to call off the search parties, burn the kid’s statements, forget this whole thing ever happened. That’s an order, Deputy Sheriff Cline.” The call ends before Annie can say another word.

“What was that about?” asks Finn now back at the door again.

Annie gingerly sets the phone back on it’s hook. She looks at the folder of statements before looking up at Finn.

“I’ve been told to drop the case.”

She picks up the folder and opens the drawer beside her, taking out a box of matches. Without another word to Finn she makes her way out of her office and towards the front door where a trash can sits not too far away. She drops the kids’ statements into the can then lights the match, dropping it on top of the papers. The statements catch fire, the ends curling as the flames engulf them. Annie watches, caught in a strange trance as the statements burn to ash. Why has she been told to drop the case?

[pretttydemonboy]

@ragsy are you afraid I can't handle a little gunpoint threat?? what do you take me for?? @zincbot oh no, a saw trap of friendship

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

lack of supervision, eldest daughter syndrome,

2. show us a picture of your handwriting?

3. three films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Repo! The Genetic Opera, Halloween (1978), and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

4. what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

"make my comics, boy" is always a classic

"purse purse tophat tophat" utterly incomprehensible but still very funny

5. what made you start your blog?

fuck if i remember, i've been here too goddamn long

6. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

imposter syndrome/the mortifying ordeal of being known

7. what scares you the most and why?

uh. dying! because unfortunately I don't have a strong belief in any kind of afterlife so all I can think of is that my consciousness will just...end one day and wow I fucking hate that idea.

8. any reoccurring dreams?

Not really, although there was that one time I had repeated nightmares about spiders which was...fun.

9. tell a story about your childhood

one time i covered my entire house, including one of my cats, in baby powder.

10. would you say you’re an emotional person?

lmao yeah

11. what do you consider to be romance?

taking care of each other, thoughtful gestures, lil thinkin of you gifts

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

go watch Sinners in theaters right fuckign now

13. what are you doing right now?

other than answering these questions I'm listening to the Sinners soundtrack (that movie is so fucking good PLEASE GO FUCKING SEE IT)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

take singing lessons

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

honestly i was gonna try and come up with something poetic but I think it's just the place where I can be completely unmasked

16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

can i get rid of the executive dysfunction bullshit puhLEASE

17. name 3 things that make you happy

food, music, cats

18. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

yeah bud! there's too much wack shit in the universe that we can't explain, why not ghosts and aliens

19. favourite thing about the day?

i love being awake for that like, mid morning time frame, but not actually having anywhere to go about it. mid morning just feels like a good time to do stuff.

20. favourite things about the night?

getting into bed after a long day and like, at first it's a lil chilly because it's been empty for so long, but then you slowly warm up and achieve cocoon realness

21. are you a spiritual person?

not reaaaaaally? i feel like...I want to be. sometimes. it's complicated

22. say 3 things about someone you love

the handsomest boy! with the loudest meows! and the softest fur!

23. say 3 things about someone you hate

HOPE YOU DIE HOPE YOU DIE HOPE YOU DIE

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

getting back into writing, even if i'm not super consistent, even if it's hard

25. fave season and why?

fall because summer is too hot, winter is too cold, and spring is too pollen

26. fave colour and why?

purple! it's always been my favorite color and if i'm being 100% honest, it's because it is also my mom's favorite color

27. any nicknames?

Samicus, Sam-a-Lam-a-Ding-Dong (Don't ask), Sammy, Demon

28. do you collect anything?

stickers, pins, and honestly? blankets. I have so many blankets

29. what do you do when you’re sad?

retail therapy, or i'll pop an edible and play video games and distract myself from the sads

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

i mean deadass? edibles and video games have yet to let me down

31. are you messy or organised?

both. things have their place until i put them somewhere else and forget about them and then they sit there for months on end until i finally get the motivation to move them to their proper place. also I have an actual organizational system for all my beads and i periodically reorganize them for fun

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

three!

33. any hobbies?

so many! I write, I make jewelry, i play ttrpgs, i play viddy games, etc etc

34. any pet peeves?

people who talk on the phone when they're checking out at a store

35. do you trust easily?

36. are you an open book or do you have walls up?

the best walls are the ones people don't even notice because you appear to let them in by sharing stuff you've deemed safe

uh. i mean what

37. share a secret.

i cheated on a spanish test once in middle school in the most obvious way possible it is a fucking miracle i wasn't caught

38. fave song at the moment?

Kekka Orai by Kocchi no Kento (it's the opening theme for MHA: Vigilantes and it's so fun!)

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

i mean i guess the only answer really is markiplier, he's the only one I watch with any consistency and even then it's usually fnaf and outlast rewatches. he's funny and at this point it's comfort media watching him get the shit scared out of him lol

40. any bad habits?

skin picking and forgetting to eat are the biggest ones i think

JESUS CHRIST THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT IT WAS FUN

[deelavis]

Omgggggg im so excitded to hear your thoughts Mello 4 or 3 Near 9 or 13 or whichever you prefer i also just like to hear you talk🥺

I know these are supposed to be silly and quick I just have too many thoughts and I wanted to do all of them instead of one or the other *__*

3. Mello-Drinking Headcanon

I think Mello doesn't drink much on his own. Like he's not the type to just drink at home by himself (unless he's REALLY going through something) but when he's out on the town he will. And because of it I actually think he would be a total lightweight. And he just starts rambling like CRAZY when he's drunk. The guys in his gang never mention it the next morning because they're too scared to lose a finger, but Mello seems to have a lot of things he really hates??? Like SUPER specific seemingly unrelated things that he will just go on and on about. Like when their waiter had bleached silver-white hair he went on a 30 minute tirade about how people with white hair just think they're so special and pretty and they how they need to be put in their place. Or when the bar they go to has giant jenga and he loses so badly he goes on a tare about how anyone that is good at board games and puzzles are actually just big dumb idiots.

4. Mello-Angry headcanon

This one stumped me a bit because I feel like we see Mello angry so often in canon that it's hard to think of a headcanon for it. But the more I thought about it I realized that it's a big headcanon of mine that Mello fixates about things he gets angry about. Like even if he feels less angry after the fact he cannot stop thinking about it, even if it's to think about how stupid he was about getting angry in the first place. This will only take place in his head though, he will absolutely not be telling anyone that he is thinking he could ever be wrong.

9.Near-Childhood headcanon

I think when Near came to Wammy's he was VERY little. I don't have much of a headcanon about his birth family since I also think he has almost no memory of them, just flashes here and there that are more sense memories. Though I do headcanon him as half Korean and half Dutch (doesn't work super well with the entomology of the surname River, but fuck it we ball). When he's brought to Wammy's I usually think he's about 4-5 and non-verbal. He shows a lot of signs of heightened intelligence which is what lands him in Wammy's instead of a regular orphanage, but I think before they can figure out how to work with him, Near ends up having a lot of melt downs. With the way the orphanage handles things the other kids don't really see it but Near has a lot of screaming, crying fits before they find a reliable way for him to communicate.

13.Near-Sex headcanon

Idk if this will be a controversial headcanon but I think once Near has had sex a few times and becomes more comfortable with it after "solving the puzzle" of something new, he is absolutely insatiable and is the one initiates the most often. I really only see him with Mello so I always think that in a world where something happens between them and he gets to this point, the moment people leave the room and they're alone he gives Mello this look-

(Please excuse the quick crappy sketch) and pounces on him. With just no regard to how soon people will be back. Truly he is a horny monster.

[tc-doherty]

Character Most Likely to Game

Tagged by @the-letterbox-archives

The game is to answer which characters are most likely to do each of these things, but it's under a cut because it's a little bit long.

Open tag for this one!

1) most likely to faint

I would say Wren, although Gheist, Patrice, Mahesha, and Kit have all also canonly fainted in their stories (at least as I can remember off the top of my head).

2) most likely to enjoy art

Mahesha likes pretty things, Errys is the daughter of a painter, and Francis is rich so...I feel like he's spent a lot of time at museums.

3) most likely to hate sports

I have a number of characters that I feel like would not be particularly interested, but I don't think I have any characters who would outright hate sports. Maybe Kyraen.

4) most likely to freeze if faced with something scary

Mahesha, he is a little lizard after all. Freezing is his default fear response and that comes up a lot.

5) most likely to eat the last bite of something

I haven't thought about it really, but I'm feeling Jack.

6) most likely to start an argument

Kit! But I do have a lot of characters like this. I'm mostly leaving off Silverwood from games like this but like. I have to mention Ithea here.

7) most likely to own a cat

Patrice has a cat, his name is Ericks. I feel like Dante would like cats, Iskandar would probably like cats… a few of them.

8) most likely to swim across a large river/channel without getting fatigued

I write a lot about very physical characters but Izare probably could. Johan and Rothert probably could. Iskandar, and Clovis, and Jack again.

9) most likely to not be a morning person and hates getting woken up too early

Nyari! I feel like Yuliy too, but that's just because he parties a lot.

10) most likely to learn a subject a day before exams (and still nailing it)

Kit.

11) most likely to pick up a stray animal

Rolan. Probably also Izare and Lukas.

12) most likely to fall for a prank

Gheist, Mahesha, maybe Dante.

13) most likely to pull an accidental all-nighter

Kyraen.

14) most likely to get stranded on an island and thrive

Theo, it's just sort of par for the course for him at this point.

15) most likely to get bullied by a random child

IDK, a lot of my characters are pretty pathetic. Maybe Arwyn though?

16) most likely to win an athletic event

A lot of my characters probably could, as far as I know Errys is the only one who has 'on screen' won an athletic event.

17) most likely to become a con artist

Kit, again. I mean. He actually is kind of one already.

18) most likely to get lost in their own home

Francis, just because he's a little bit ditzy sometimes.

19) most likely to burn something while cooking

A lot of my characters can cook, but canonly, Larkin can't.

20) most likely to stop a robbery if they see it taking place

I have too many goody two-shoes characters to pick just one.

21) most likely to not tell people they’re sick until they really need the help

Major plot point for both Mahesha and Ithea.

22) most likely to crush on their villain/enemy

Kind of major plot point for Iskandar and Clovis, and Tadj and Idrin, as well as Rolan and Morgaine technically.

23) most likely to skip breakfast

Kyraen and Risaul are both liable to get absorbed in whatever they're doing and forget to eat.

24) most likely to have a niche obsession

Tadj, again that's sort of a plot point for him.

25) most likely to steal what they need on moment

Kit. Iskandar.

26) most likely to start a fight

Big surprise it's Kit and Ithea, again. Also Jack though.

27) most likely to do something that they’re gonna regret later

Izare....

28) most likely to arrive ridiculously early

Mahesha, Artur, Estienne.

29) most likely to be in a relationship for less than a week

Hmmmmm. Rothert? Maybe also Yuliy.

30) most likely to secretly be really good at music, but just not tell anyone

Arwyn, kind of? Although he does actually end up telling the other characters, it's still not something you would necessarily suspect to look at him. I could also see that for Cecil.

[fatboyeats2]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

03: Do you regret anything?

04: Are you insecure?

05: What is your relationship status?

06: How do you want to die?

07: What did you last eat?

08: Played any sports?

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

14: Do you miss someone?

15: Have any pets?

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

18: Are you scared of spiders?

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

26: What are you craving right now?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

30: What’s irritating you right now?

31: Does somebody love you?

32: What is your favourite color?

33: Do you have trust issues?

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

57: Do you believe in true love?

58: Favourite weather?

59: Do you like the snow?

60: Do you wanna get married?

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

62: What makes you happy?

63: Would you change your name?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

1.yes

2.my parents

3.no

4.not at all

5.single

6.no

7.pizza

8.football but I barely go due to my weight

9.no

10.never had one

11. Got a few close friends 🧡

12.nope I'm a sleepy fatty

13.nope

14.yes sadly

15.3 dogs

16.tired and sleepy

17.nope haven't yet

18.big spider I'm not a fan

19.yes to see my dog once again that I lost

20.never

21.chill and eat

22.yes I would mind I would love to have 1 or 2

23.no

24.foot tech/ cooking still can't cook

25.yes pets and family members

26.anything I'm hungry this morning

27.i hope not

28.no

29.no I have a kind soul

30.nothing

31.yes I think

32.red

33.no

34.getting feed my a feeder

35.no one I hide my emotions

36.yes

37.forgive for me

38.still got the rest of the year left

39.never had one

40.only my boxer to get food from outside

51.every greasy food

52.yes

53.eat

54.to a certain extent

55.no I'm loving and caring

56.no one

57.yes

58.summer reason to have my belly out

59.yes

60.yes one day

61. Absolutely 💓

62.chatting/eating and gaming plus family

63.no I love my name

64.no haven't kissed anyone

65.i would still talk to them, and then later we may be together

66.yes I can

67.a very close friend

68.just friends who I talk to

69.yes

70.yes I will do anything to help them

Thank you whoever sent this ask I enjoyed answering the questions 😊 thank you for reading my answers 😊 😀

[sinistergooseberries]

This Melodious Rain(it's all you)

This is a re-release because my chapter has finally been edited by the darlingest of betas @the-life-support-system

shoutout to jamie everyone

***

Chapter 1

Meera's POV

You might ask me how the fuck did it come to be like this.

I'm sitting in one of the many pews of the most beautiful church I have ever seen. The girl I love is getting married to some guy at the altar, who waltzed into our lives without permission.

Lisa looks like she is about to cry. I wish to comfort her, but she has already denied my companionship. Why in the ever-loving hell would she want my comfort? 

She has chosen her path, and I can't do anything about it.

Why does it feel so stuffy in here? There are air conditioners but it feels like I'm about to puke.

I look at them and I hate them. I hate her. I hate the guy, I hate this love that had to blossom in my heart for the most unavailable person and I hate myself for beginning to want to be the person taking her veil off even after everything. 

Yet, I'm not able to take my eyes off her. It's like every movement of hers pulls me like a magnet. I love her and she loves me too, because I can see her watching me from the corner of her eyes. But she has made her choice.

That is us. We are better off when we don't have to face anything.

*********

The evening of her graduation and the morning after it would always be a memorable period for Meera. Not because she graduated from some godforsaken engineering college, or because she had finally got an assistant director's job under Suresh Prabhakar (though that was one of the top contenders), but something else.

She had gone to Suresh Prabhakar's set, had been introduced by Krishna, the guy with the connections who was her senior from her college and had rigorously tried to learn everything that was to be learnt.

She had come back home a few hours ago. She was lying on her bed, the little script book clutched to her chest. It was the best feeling. She’d been lying like that ever since she came back home at 9 o’clock. She couldn’t sleep at all. She checked the time using her phone. It was 4:20 a.m.

The room was too stuffy, too small for the big things she felt at that moment. She had to step out. She sat down on the wicker chair in their balcony, looking down at the quiet street of their neighbourhood. They lived on a residential street, and one could seldom see vehicles passing through this place. Sometimes you could hear the ghost of a honking car if you were lucky.

She was swept away by her dreams of making big in film, when she heard the gate open. It was 4:30 in the morning. Why would anyone be entering the house at such an ungodly hour?

She peered closer over the edge of the railing. It was...a woman.

Ah. Not a robber. It was the daughter of their tenants, the Palackals. Her father had mentioned something along the lines of someone from downstairs working a midnight shift. She had thought it was the uncle, not the daughter.

3 months ago, a Kerala family had come to rent their ground floor house. A contact of her father who was also a contact of the uncle showed the family to the house. Talks had gone down and finally the downstairs house had been rented. Most of the time, the families avoided contact with each other due to the language and culture barrier experienced throughout the first month (the interaction being just the parents), but Meera knew a few details here and there. They were a family of four - the parents and a sister and a brother - Christians and very, very fond of meat. The last one was ascertained by the fact that every time the aunty cooked, the smells wafted upwards and they had to shut their windows and doors when they cooked a particularly smelly dish. They would give a little bit of their curries every time they cooked though (not the beef, of course). Meera and Veena liked them enough, her parents did not touch them. The aunty was nice about it, so perhaps that was what made the peculiar dishes tasty. Athididevobhava: after all.

She had never seen the siblings' faces though. She wanted to say hello, but she wondered if the other woman would be startled by a rando saying hello to her in the midst of the night. In spite of that, her curiosity did not dampen even a little bit. Why would it? A normal landlord wouldn't go 3 months without knowing the face of their tenants.

Perhaps god had heard her wish, because as she peered from the railing, the woman looked up.

Oh, boy.

Her curly black hair fluttered in the light breeze that seemed to pass by just at that moment. Her dark skin shone with little beads of perspiration above her upper lip. Her beautiful, dark brown eyes twinkled in the little bit of sunlight that came through. She clutched her Bisleri water bottle as she looked up.

Their eyes met. Shrouded in the morning mist, the woman raised a subtle eyebrow.

At four-thirty in the morning on a random Tuesday, Meera had come face to face with the goddess Usha.

Meera tried to adjust the way she looked, knowing it was all in vain. She had got out straight from bed and looked as sweaty and weird as she felt.

The goddess looked radiant. She didn't know how it was possible to look flawless on a night-shift, but this woman achieved it.

Meera felt like she had to take a picture of this.

And so she did.

"What the fuck" came out of two mouths (one of them her own) in two very different tones.

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #35

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34]

[AO3] [wattpad]

*Mori has an emotional flashback through the 1st half, Self blame *There's a multi paragraph summary of the breakup with my ex fiancé. Coerced polyamory does not reflect healthy polyamory

~POV Mori~ As soon as Sinbad picked me up I felt a wave of relief that I would get back to the Palace safely. Then I realized I could smell him and it finally clicked in my head what I had agreed to. And just like that I lost the ability to perceive how much time was passing as he carried me back.

I felt Sinbad's voice through our contact as much as I heard it. "Are you really going to hide the whole way back?"

"Mhmm!" He smelled good. If it wasn't for his metal vessels pressing into me, I'd be extremely comfortable. This was too good to be true! How was any of this allowed to happen?? He has refused to use marriage politically for over a decade even though it's the strongest method for a Kingdom to guarantee peace between different countries which is his entire life's mission. That's how much he hates the idea of getting married. Why would that King want people to think we were together?? The only way this made any sense was if Sinbad had somehow actually fallen in love with me! This was fanfiction, right? So anything was possible? I was allowed to be a little greedy? It took all of my will power to not wiggle my feet.

What could possibly attract him to me romantically? He called me 'Beautiful.' No, he's met many beautiful people around the world, and he was never romantically interested in any of them. Was it because I can feel the waves? I definitely get the feeling that he views me differently because of that. If it makes him see me as an equal that wouldn't be a bad starting point for a relationship... But he sees being able to feel the waves as something special.

There was a sharp paint in my chest. Regardless of why, if he does really feel that way about me, I have no way to live up to his expectations. Sinbad expects greatness. I already know how that ends! 'I need to tell him I changed my mind and to put me down, but-but-' I could feel his warmth. Just like on the ship, I felt distinctively safe in Sinbad's arms, and I was actually fully conscious to enjoy it this time! 'I don't want him to let go! But I can't handle this right now! Why can't I just be happy??' My heart beat was already creeping up my throat.

Sinbad invited me to enjoy the moment with him. "And here I was hoping I could finally give you my full undivided attention."

The reference to my new rule told me to disprove the hope that was straining my damage heart. I spoke past my hands, "That's only because I'm the only available option right now." I needed to shut this feeling down asap for my own safety. How could I think he developed feelings for me when he is the Womanizer of the Seven Seas??

"That's not true." His warm tone was so genuine I believed him. "I've wanted to have you all to myself since I first saw you this morning." The waves were adding the exact meaning to his words that I was afraid would be there. "But every time I had a chance, you left before I could talk to you." My stomach went cold. This is why I had been avoiding him. "I actually wanted to follow after you the first time you left for the festival." He sighed and I couldn't breathe. "If Hina hadn't distracted me while I was following after you, I know we would have spent the whole night together."

I took a few slow breaths through my hands before I could respond, and when I did I could hear the growing desperation in my voice. "Why do you suddenly want to strengthen the rumors?" I knew the reason. "Who in their right mind would believe you're in love with me when you asked me to join a bunch of call girls only a few hours ago!?" Sinbad changed his mind about romance? No. I knew this pattern. Even if he loved me now it was only a short term novelty. He will break me down and give me just enough attention to keep me following after him even after his feelings dry up because I'm useful. My chest ached with the exact pain I knew would follow the hope he built up in me. "I get that you're a womanizer but, I..." Even more than my anger at Sinbad, I was disappointed in myself for repeating my past mistakes. "I didn't expect you to- ask me to do that." Damnit. I sounded distraught. I was, but I wanted to hide it. I was going to lose what little respect he had for me. My eyes started to burn from the tears threatening to escape.

The King came to a halt during my rant and said nothing. Every time someone calls him out on something he can't honestly deny, he doesn't answer. That was actually something I liked about him. Even his lies have a bit of truth to them, and when he can't find a truth to twist he doesn't say anything at all. I felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath, and sighed. Even he knew I was right. This is who he is and how he treats people. He didn't actually see me as special.

His silence only strengthened my will to defend myself. "Not to mention: you promised you wouldn't say anything that sounded like genuine romantic interest in me!" I should have called him out when he first said he wanted to strengthen the rumors; it felt like a damn confession!

Sinbad's voice was quiet. "You're right. That was one of the rules..." There was no reason for him to sound so shocked.

Ignoring my boundaries was proof that he didn't actually respect me; I already knew that deep down. Hot tears pooled between my fingers on my cheeks. "I didn't place those rules to make the game more challenging, you know?" I did it to protect my heart from this exact pain I was feeling. I should have known it was a promise he'd only keep when it benefited him.

Sinbad's gentle voice only cut me deeper. "I figured as much. But Mori, I'm not playing that flirting game right now." The waves begged me to believe him. The fear of reliving patterns fought against the excitement and hope that this time could be different. "I can see why my past actions make it hard to believe me." Nonono. Don't say it! "I want to strengthen the rumors now because I only just realized that I-"

"ST-STOP!! Please." My voice was shaking with feelings too strong to properly show on my face. If I let him finish, I knew it would break me. It was my own fault I got hurt. I was just fooling myself, and giving myself excuses to be self-indulgent instead of protecting myself. No amount of rules in the flirting game would protect me from being swayed when I already liked him. I knew that. I thought that since this was a fanfic that things would work out for me at least a little bit. 'Damnit.' I took a slow breath. "I agreed to this because I can't walk and had a lapse in judgement. I don't like the rumors around us!" This was about more than just what Sinbad did. I had been triggered by memories of my ex-fiancé all day. I couldn't tell how much of my feelings were a trauma response. I needed to explain why I was so upset. "I was engaged once. Marrying him would have been the greatest mistake of my life. And it's a mistake I promised myself I would never make in the future."

"I... I had no idea."

"How would you know when I never told you?" My arms were burning from being in the same position so long. I dropped my hands from my face but didn't look at the person carrying me. Now that I had started, I couldn't stop pouring out the memories I had ran from all day. "He hadn't faced the reality of death until after we were engaged. His grandmother died, then my mom went on her deathbed. He demanded we go on break until my mom died, and barely a week after she did, he said that if I wanted to be with him, I'd have to accept him seeing multiple people. I was desperate for my life to not fall apart completely so I agreed, but it was a mistake. He basically stopped paying attention to me except to ask for help with his other relationships and things. On top of that, he didn't want anyone knowing he was engaged."

I could feel Sinbad tensing, and the waves moving around us.

Explaining this was helping me calm down. "It took 10 months for me to accept the truth -especially since I was in mourning. After I broke up with him, he admitted that he felt emasculate by my successes and hadn't wanted to be with me romantically for a long time -he just didn't want to lose access to me and knew I wouldn't want anything to do with him if we weren't in that type of relationship. He didn't even want to stay with his other partner for very long after I broke up with him."

I glanced at the man holding me. Sinbad was looking away, so I couldn't see his expression regardless of lighting. "You are a known womanizer even to people helping you with your dream. I like flirting with you, but I don't want to be led around by your lies. And I don't want to date ever again in general -let alone someone like you."

Sinbad's voice was void of emotion somehow. "I can see why." He didn't say anything else. I had studied his character enough to know that whatever thoughts he was having were intense.

My eyes started to water again from self pity and fear. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of this." I turned my head towards his shoulder in a poor attempt to hide.

Sinbad started walking again. "Why are you apologizing? I'm the one that got drunk and acted foolishly." Why did he sound so frustrated and genuine when we both knew he wasn't going to change? "I should be the one-"

"I read your Fate." I didn't mean to cut him off that time. "I've seen you tell these lies countless times. I know you're lying when you tell them to me." My voice was muffled by his clothes. I felt him tense again. It was a mistake to tell him this -especially that last part. I already told him yesterday I wasn't able to trust him. Why didn't the waves remind me? I felt the ability to talk leave me.

"No, Mori." I could hear genuine melancholy in Sinbad's voice. "I thought that because you read my Fate and flirted with me anyway that it couldn't possibly bother you. But I was wrong. You clearly set boundaries through the flirting game, and I ignored that you even felt the need to do that. I won't make the same mistake again. I am sorry."

. . . Did Sinbad actually apologize without an excuse? This isn't how the pattern goes! -Not for my exes and certainly not for Sinbad! I couldn't process this at all.

When he realized I couldn't accept his apology, he added. "It looks like I have a long way to go."

After a while he continued. "Mori, I'm not the King Sinbad from your visions. During our dinner last week, you told me that I will repeat the worst mistakes of my life. I don't want that; I decided to find a new path." I had said that but was that really enough? "I discussed it with Ja'far, but it looks like it will be a much longer path than I expected." Sinbad's hands squeezed my shoulder and knee.

I looked up at the man holding me to try to find some answer in his expression even though I couldn't see his face. This would definitely explain the changes in the waves at least. But there was no way he'd accept that in such a short time. "Wh-why do you believe me?" I was surprised my voice returned.

The King stopped walking again so he could look down at me, and even though I couldn't fully see it, his soft smile made me freeze. "Because you've proven multiple times that your visions are real, and you can even feel the waves like I can. How could I not trust you?" He paused, and looked pained somehow. "It's like you said. I used to think these waves were a sign that I was chosen by Fate. But I'm not the only one." He took another deep breath.

I couldn't help but stare up at him. Did he mean it? His expression looked nothing like his normal mask. And the way the waves were moving... But he was Sinbad: egotistical with a god complex...

He continued. "Thanks to watching how you interact with the waves on top of your explanations, I have a better understanding of more ways I can use them to my advantage." Ah. There it is. "I want you to be right: that I don't have to dirty my hands for the sake of my dream. When I can't find the right answer, the waves direct me to the people that do. And this time, I'll listen to them."

My voice was lost to me again. I was barely comprehending what Sinbad was saying. Did he really mean it? Did he really talk to Ja'far about this?? His reasoning was off, but he said he was going to ask others for help. My vision was blurry from tears. I couldn't accept this new hope growing in me either. Was I actually changing Fate? Ja'far always pushes Sinbad to dirty his hands any time he wavers; how could he reach this conclusion so confidently??

The arms holding me lifted me, and Sinbad leaned down, pressing himself against me. He whispered, "I'm going to find a new path. One where my Beautiful Prophet feels like they can trust me."

I couldn't handle his words nor the look in his eyes when I could see his face. He wanted me to trust him? 'Why did he say it like that?? Did he mean it?? Even a little bit??' It felt like it might actually be safe to believe what he was saying, just like those times when he called me 'amazing.' But that didn't mean I had to act on it or try anything now. I was too overwhelmed. I turned my head and pressed my face into his shoulder to hide the tears I couldn't stop. It hurt to force words past the block, but I needed to answer him somehow. I managed to say, "Me too."

I wasn't eloquent or nuanced, and I was barely audible, but I knew Sinbad heard me and understood what I meant in how he whispered, "Thank you," back. He lowered me back out of the hug, and after a few moments started walking again.

Relief was washing over me as much as the waves. Even if this was just more of his manipulation, in this moment I didn't care. More tears escaped, rolled past my glasses and soaked into the white fabric pressed against my cheek. If Sinbad noticed, he didn't say anything. I was too exhausted to talk anymore. His words repeated in my mind; I wanted to trust that he really meant them. Both him choosing a new path, and that thing he said before I snapped and cut him off -that he wasn't playing this time, etc. That should have been good for me. Most people want their feelings reciprocated, but not me. Not anymore. Getting that close to someone again is frightening. I'm not sure how long it will take me to be able to trust someone enough to try again. --- ~POV Generals~ Ja'far, Drakon and Sahel decided to wait for Sinbad to get back with Mori. Ja'far would have stayed regardless because of his position, while the other two stayed because they were worried about their King. Sin was either going to return with Mori happily and possibly officially a couple or Sin was going to come back defeated after offending Mori more. What none of them were expecting was for Sinbad to make it back to the platform with Mori limp in his arms.

Ja'far was the first to rush over. "Sin, what happened?? Why is Mori unconscious??"

The King shushed him. "Calm down. They're fine. They just got exhausted and fell asleep." He was using his normal tones, but his smile was slipping, and he wasn't making eye contact.

"Oh, I see." It was rare for Sin to be like this. Ja'far spoke slowly as he decided whether or not to push his King for more answers. "I'll have an area set up for them to rest until they wake up then." He turned to go summon a servant.

"That won't be necessary." Sinbad started walking towards the Palace steps.

"Wait. Sin, are you planning to carry them the whole way to the Palace??"

Their King didn't answer as he kept walking.

Sahel held her hands together. "Oh, it's worse than we thought."

Sin looked back at her with that stiff smile. "They're just sleeping. I promise."

Drakon clarified for his wife, "Not Mori. What happened for you to be making such an expression?"

Making eye contact with his old friend broke the cracked mask; Sinbad's expression fell. He didn't say anything, and after a moment looked down at the person in his arms.

--- ~POV Sinbad~ When they first met, Mori called Sinbad a scoundrel, and yet she still chose to follow him. Mori knew his deepest regrets and what he was capable of, and yet she still chose to follow him. No, it was because he was going to repeat those mistakes if she didn't convince him to stop. She said she liked him, but Sinbad was probably the type of person she hated the most. Ja'far had told him that Mori admitted to having a strong sense of responsibility -a 'noble's obligation' or something like that. That was why she chose him. He could see that now.

When Sinbad had finally reached the platform he knew that it would be for the best to put Mori down so they could rest easier. They could climb the steps on their own or get help when they woke up. That was the most appropriate course of action. However, as soon as Ja'far voiced the same idea, the King knew he didn't want to put Mori down. After her rejection, it felt like the line between them had only gotten bigger. Her weight in his arms was the only thing connecting them, and he wanted to hold onto that link for as long as possible.

Drakon asked a question Sinbad didn't know if he could answer. "What happened for you to be making such an expression?"

Was he supposed to tell them that he made made her cry? That his Generals were right every time they warned him that being a womanizer would come back to bite him someday? That he got disappointed when Mori first told him that he never fell in love or got married in her visions? That he repeated that fact to deny his disappointment? Was he supposed to tell them how much it hurt when Mori said she hated the idea of being with anyone? So much so that she cried at the idea of people thinking they were together? And to make matters worse, even after learning how she felt he continued to carry her because he still wanted to strengthen the rumors that she was his. What else was he supposed to do? She didn't accept his apology. There was no fixing this since Mori had read how he was a womanizer his entire life and only hours ago Sinbad showed her directly that was exactly who he is. Even so, that didn't mean he didn't have other methods. He was a King; he had plenty of options to keep her next to him even if she'd never accept his feelings. But then she would hate him. How was he supposed to accept that inevitable Fate???

The waves directed his attention to the worried expressions of his trusted people. 'That's right.' He just told Mori that he would start trying to rely on others when his back was against a wall; that was the best way to avoid repeating the same mistakes. And he didn't want his Beautiful Prophet to have any more reasons to call him a scoundrel. "I didn't stand a chance from the beginning." Damnit. "Mori was once engaged to a man that took advantage of her. And when she finally left him," admitting this hurt in a way he never experienced before, "she promised herself she would never be with anyone again." Let alone someone like him. "She told me when I tried to tell her I..." How could he say it now when Mori wouldn't let him tell her?

Mori stirred in his arms. There hadn't been many people on the walk back, and now there were a handful talking very close by. She would wake up soon. Maybe that was for the best.

Mori said that she couldn't read her own Fate so she had no idea how her existence would change things. He had been ignoring that part all this time because it was convenient for him. He didn't realize how much pride he had in not wanting to get married or fall in love. And Mori had rejected him multiple times, so he didn't want her to be wrong. The chuckle that slipped out of him was pained. To think it was Mori rejecting him so openly that would make him fully accept what he was feeling. There's no reason for a rejection to pierce his heart like this if he wasn't longing for the opposite. Even Sinbad knew that.

((So... uh... See you in a month when I finish the next chapter?

Not a lot of art in this one because I didn't want to draw the PTSD attack.

Gosh I need to practice drawing Drakon more. It shouldn't take me 3 hours to draw his face.

Also, I've officially reached the point were this fic will start directly conflicting my false truths and fears, so I'm not sure how quickly the next arcs will be written. I have the next chapter (the last of this arc) all written already, so I can get straight to drawing the art for it this weekend! I'll try not to leave you guys on this cliff for too long ;3 I hope to take less than a month this time))

[causenessus]

hi my dearest loveliness !! good evening afternoon OR morning I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUVE EATEN!! i literally just woke up (it’s 3pm…. my parents literally watched me come out of my room and were like ???)(you just woke up???)LMFAO BUT BUT i’m back to work tomorrow so i wanted to sleep in a lot today(I HAVE A 9-5:30 RIGHT OFF THE BAT)(MY WORK HATES ME??)but omg i just saw the ask from sav(sorry am i allowed to call her that too)(IM SORRY IDK) and i was like AWWWW “you and your mango anon” I AM NESS’ MANGO ANON idk why i thought it was so cute and sweet like YOU GIGGLE AND READ THEM?? THATS SO CUTE?? IM GONNA EXPLODE?? but let’s all yap together this is yap central(a safe place for yappers)

omg last night i got so many notifs if you answering every ask bat to bat and I FELT SO BAD BECAUSE I WROTE A LOT YESTERDAY BUT YOU STILL ANSWERED EACH ASK WITH LIKE SO SO MUCH PASSION??(idk if that’s the right word) but you always answer each ask with ur heart like non of it is halfassed(sorry am i allowed to swear)(IVE BEEN REFRAINING FROM SWEARING BECAUSE IDK I DONT THINK IVE SEEN YOU SWEAR OUTSIDE YOUR SMAUS???)(or idk i’m crazy i think i’m crazy)

I WOULD SHARE WHAT CONCERT IT WAS LIKE I WAS GOING TO but i was like omg i���m gonna dox myself LOL BUT actually you know what’s so funny i don’t even live in the states(LORE DROP) ALSO DECLAN MCKENNA?? THATS SO COOL THAT YOU GOT TO SEE HIM i think he’s on tour again right now?? or just performing right now (I THINK) im pretty sure i saw on ticketmaster! i would 100% go but literally my bank account is decreasing a little too much for my liking and it’s time to lock in and go ultra saving mode LOL BUT OMG MITSKI??? stop it if i was rich i would 100% fly over to your state and buy tickets for you and me and we could go together and have our losing dogs moment(on repeat by eggy always in my heart)(literally one of my fav smaus LOL)

ness i will read every single part of your response LITERALLY I WILL READ AND ABSORB EVERY PART SO do not worry your pretty little head(as i said this i imagined myself tapping your head with a pretty little fairy stick)BUT OMG ME AND YOU WORKING AT ILLEGAL AGES(actually actually hold on)okay because i started working my retail job when i was 15 but i was like a week away from turning 16 but they accepted me anyways? idk it’s kind of silly but i remember saying i was 15 but turning 16 in a “few days” (i think it was a week and a bit) and they were like mmmm okay! here’s your training days blah blah blah LOL listen i really wanted a job… i always felt bad asking my parents for money so i was like you know what ILL get my own money(here i am 2-3 years later still trapped in retail)also i totally get the hostess thing because my friend works at olive garden as a hostess and like it SOUNDS SO STRESSFUL? because like… you’re kinda in control of how much tips a person gets? (if that makes sense) and it just feels ITS TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME TO FANTOM LIKE i cant i feel like im too much of a people pleaser where id just be like oh! oh you don’t want this table? okay! oh i have you too many tables? i’m sorry! my bad! let me do it! ALSO IDK i hate fixed schedules like i like the random rotation every week LOL like it’s kinda a surprise!! like omg what days am i working today type of thing you know! BUT OMG THEM KEEPING YOU ON STANDBY IS CRAZY AFTER YOU QUIT LOL they love you so much they want to keep you <3 i can’t blame them <3 ness is a very lovable person <3 but restaurant environments are different from retail idk how you do it like I APPAUD YOU AND EVERY OTHER RESTAURANT WORKER because like dealing with hangry people everyday like… i already deal with impatient customers which make me wanna pull my hair like i remember one time during this rush we had everyone on cash like everyone on the tills right and this guy came up to my till and he’s like “yall need more workers” LIKE CANT YOU SEE EVERYONE ON THE TILLS RIGHT NOW??WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST !! and i was deadass like “haha sorry….. would you like a bag for 50 cents?”

ALSO YOURE SO BUSY WHAT?? your schedule is so jacked up HOW DO YOU DO IT??? like literally uni + job AND THEATRE??? and also the fact that you have more than one job?? PLS PLS PLS EAT AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF LOVE YOURE GONNA BURN OUT </3

omg if i worked lights with you it would’ve been so so so much better like i’m not discrediting the light people i worked with BUT it was the fact that they were a year younger right so they didn’t really know what they were doing since all our light crew graduated and for some reason people didn’t like doing lights as much? so they were just first years doing lights and i had to help out a bunch and kind of guide them BCUZ IDK WHY MY TECH TEACHER DIDNT DO IT RIGHT so i had to focus on sound PLUS helping the lights people which i don’t really mind too much when we’re just having rehearsals but like during shows i was a little more stressed because they weren’t that confident and was always asking just to make sure and it was 100% not their fault of course but I WAS STILL STRESSED and doing my hardest to help him while trying to also keep track of where the play was(sorry very messy)(i too am like you and i do NOT proof read these whatsoever) IF I COULD I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND FLY THERE !! we could be the light + sound duo because i literally miss my tech days like i lowkey thought about doing it in uni but IDK WHY I DIDNT !! I SHOULDVE !! also another suna smau would heal me (LMFAO NO PRESSURE) BUT I LITERALLY LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI?? like they all have my heart(especially kita and osamu like oh my god)BUT OH MY GOD IF YOU DO I THINK ILL CRY LIKE “OMG THATS ME GUYS” “I AM MANGO ANON !!!” BUT you have sooooo much stuff lined up so DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH!! what you’ve been giving right now (TRY AGAIN AND TONICS <333) is already so good like the idea and concepts AND IM SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO AHH

THE CAST NOT BEINF ABLE TO PROJECT THEIR VOICES ARE SO REAL !!! maybe i’m just saying this because i only did plays in high school right so it was a bunch of kids right but it was soooo frustrating because like SPEAK UP but also the fact that some cast got better mics than others? like tell me why i can’t hear this lead but i can hear this random person playing a citizen like?? BUT LITERALLY WHEN MICS DIE I LITERALLY WANNA JUST FALL TO THE FLOOR LIKE and the director is just like “keep going” LIKE DONT KEEP GOING WHAT? I CANT HEAR? like i literally feel like i have to focus my energy like some type of anime character to my ears just to hear a SNIPPET of what they’re saying but then sometimes i get in trouble for missing cues </3 LIKE I’M SORRY IT ISNT MY FAULT LIKE MAYBE GET BETTER SPEAKERS AND MICS?? also not you literally running the whole tech crew like rewiring the motherboard and climbing stuff like ness mvp tech girl LOL BUT I GET NOT WANTING TO THINK ABOUT THOSE TIMES LIKE i swear all tech/cast crew environments are SO toxic like i literally remember one of the cast fainting because like we literally got no breaks at all so she was probably overwhelmed with the lighting and everything else then that’s when the director was like ok… let’s take a break like YOU THINK??

ALSO YOURE SO RIGHT if the previous men i’ve talked to is on tumblr reading cutesy little haikyuu x femreader stuff THEN THATS ANOTHER PROBLEM(NO STOP I LITERALLY GIGGLED SO HARD WHEN YOU SAID THAT LOL)(everytime i read your responses im always smiling and giggling like i always reread it too LOL) but omg ness… the quarantine online gaming breakout season is such a canon event like BECAUSE ME TOOOOO LOL(we are so soulmates) mine was a mix of minecraft and roblox and I LITERALLY MET A WHOLE GROUP ONLINE TOO IT WAS CRAZY the ptsd flashbacks is so real but THATS SO GIRLBOSS OF YOU LIKE YES!! CALL MEN OUT ON THEIR SHIT!!(sorry swearing again) BE NO MANS PEACE!! i will literally find him and politely beat him up for you <333 TIME FOR LORE DROP AND IF THE PERSON READS THIS THEN ??? WELL ??? oh well LOL but anyways so i was in this little online group idk i kind of just found them through twitter and i was like WHY NOT so i became friends with this guy he went by socks(discord names are so real)and like we got really close right and like he was the only person i really VC’d with (AND AND TO BE FAIR I THINK ITS BECAUSE WE WERE LIKE THE BABIES OF THE GROUP) like we were the same age while everyone else was like 19-25ish now(idk what i was doing hanging out with them as a minor but oh well)(i’m 18 now so it’s ok!)(but i literally don’t talk to any of them now LOL)but i remember this one specific conversation where he was like teaching me spanish?? because i don’t know i was teaching him viet too so it was just a silly little thing and i translated it(this was through texts like i still have the screenshot LOL) and he basically confessed to me through text in spanish right then afterwards they were like JK JK JK!! IDK idk if it was real or not but we drifted a lot after that so idk! sock if ur out there !! im sorry !! to be fair though they didn’t give me a chance to reply because i had to translate it then when i came back to the chat they were like IM JK IM JK SO idk! I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW!! also i will def report back when i get a poke bowl but im very very picky about the way i eat raw fish bevause sometimes it’s okay but when there’s an overwhelming amount i kind of get scared and im like hmmm maybeeee.. not this time… LOL It really depends for me!! but maybe ill try the imitation crab one if i see it!

AND UR SO RIGHT ONE DAY I WILL COME TO YOU AND I WILL BE UR GUARD DOG AT WORK !!! i’m glad yesterday was better! hopefully it keeps getting better, i will fight off the bad omens for you ness i will stand in the front lines fighting them off I COULD NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU but i will be a tiny tiny bit upset because I WANT YOU TO EAT WELL AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! eggs and toast is so real but don’t worry :( a meal is a meal and you did good by getting up and making yourself something small! little steps are okay, i will be here along the way so don’t worry! take your time <333 I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAY!! (it literally took me an hour to write this because now it’s 4:30)(BUT i did eat in between writing) I HAD RICE AND CHICKEN YIPPPPEE!! i had to take a little break to eat then i continued writing LOL(but so real on saying ill go back but you never do because … me too)(i’m too lazy to look back on what i wrote so ill just trust myself) (mango anon loves you very much pls take care of yourself) (ALSO) i just realized i could make the font smaller (thank you again sav for the idea) so it would be easier to scroll pass these LOL BUT ANYWAYS MAKE SURE TO EAT AND REST WELL !!! xoxoxoxo

HELLO MY LOVE!!! MY DAY WAS PRETTY OKAY!! BESIDES THE CAR CRISIS OFC 😭😭 AND PLEASE WAKING UP AT 3PM IS SO REAL I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE </33 AND ESPECIALLY IF U WORK A 9-5:30 TOMORROW DEFINITELY GET ALL THE SLEEP YOU CAN GET!! REST UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PLS <3 MAKE SURE TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND BRING PLENTY WITH YOU TOMORROW AND PLEASE EAT!! and don't apologize at all you're def okay to call sav sav as well (i'm pretty sure!!) AND YOU ARE MY MANGO ANON <33 AND I LOVE U SM!! AND I LOVE UR PARANTHESES LMAO THEY'RE SO CUTE <3 YES YAP CENTRAL!!

AND omg mango anon i just have to tell you like how honored i am <3 like i feel so seen by you!! the way you see the passion in my writing and like notice that i don't curse outside of my writing pls :(( my face is literally going :((( rn /pos i try not to curse outside of my writing just bc it's not my thing!! but ofc you can and like sometimes i still do!! definitely do whatever you want AND SORRY FOR ALL THE NOTIFS YESTERDAY AND TODAY SINCE I'M DOING THE SAME THING LMAO 😭 i'm the one that lets them bunch up so dw about them at all!! and mango anon i genuinely love talking and replying to you so so much AND I'M REALLY SO THANKFUL FOR EVERY ASK FROM ANYONE SO OFC I'LL BE ANSWERING IT WITH PASSION!! I GET WHAT YOU MEAN ENTIRELY AND I'M GLAD THAT GETS ACROSS WELL <3 I JUST APPRECIATE YOU ALL SM <3

AND YOU DEF DON'T HAVE TO SAY WHAT CONCERT YOU WENT TO!! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT LIKE THAT DOXXING U OR SOMETHING bc i had no idea you didn't live in the states!!! i definitely automatically assumed that and that maybe u had went to a different state since we were in the same timezone for a little bit but that makes total sense and that was my bad for assuming 😭😭 BUT AA YES!! I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND MAYBE I WILL <3 LIKE HIS TICKETS DEF ARE NOT BAD PRICING AND HE'S AMAZING!!! i'm just insanely broke and like ik he's touring with sabrina carpenter rn or something??? which is super cool and good for him!! and sabrina's cool but i don't think i'd enjoy or be able to afford her concerts 😭 and that's okay!! maybe my tickets were cheap the time i went to see him bc it was a little more niche <3 AND AAA YES I WISH WE COULD SEE MITSKI TOGETHER!! the entire crowd would be in tears over i bet on losing dogs like that's our national anthem FRFR!!!!

I WAS IMAGINING THE PRETTY LITTLE FAIRY STICK WITH U thank you for tapping my head <33 AND I ALSO READ ABSORB EVERYTHING U TELL ME SO PLEASE YAP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!! AND DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT SMALL FONT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO <3 YOU DO WHATEVER YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEART DESIRES!!! (i am giving ur heart a kiss rn mwah <3) BUT PLEASE THE ILLEGAL JOBS FR SOME PLACES BE CRAZY AND THEY STILL GET AWAY WITH IT!!! BUT YOU GET IT EXACTLY like at the restaurant i often work at we often just have a rotation with no server sections bc it's pretty small (i'd only be forced to do sections when i worked with my manager who made me want to DIE and made me cry once i literally ran out and cried next to a steakhouse across from us) and so basically i just sit people at random tables (i always ask them like "is this table okay?" and i'm not really asking them like girl i have better things to be doing than escorting you around this restaurant trying to see what table tickles your fancy the best. i just ask them so i don't sound super forward like "THIS IS YOUR TABLE SUCK IT UP." yk??) and whoever's turn it is next, they get it so i'll tell them like "table three for two people" so like I REALLY DO NOT CONTROL WHAT CUSTOMERS A SERVER GETS BUT THEY ALL COME AND COMPLAIN AT ME FOR HOW BAD THEIR TABLES ARE (probably bc they're trying to guilt trip me or be passive aggressive) BUT LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?? I'M NOT PURPOSELY GIVING PEOPLE BAD OR GOOD TABLES LIKE 😭😭 and i'm sure it's even worse at places like olive garden which are way bigger! and you have to work with other hosts and more people so best of luck to your friend she's doing amazing <3 AND YOU GET IT!! LIKE IT'D PROABABLY BE NICE TO HAVE A FIXED SCHEDULE BUT ALSO I COULDN'T DO IT I LOVE BEING SCHEDULED ON RANDOM DAYS EVERY WEEK I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING also the guy who told you you guys needed more workers??? THANK YOU SIR FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS!! I HAD NO IDEA, LET ME, JUST A PERSON WHO WORKS HERE, NOT A MANAGER OR ANYTHING, GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT ON AN APRON AND START HELPING SINCE WE NEED MORE WORKERS!! CONGRATS YOU'RE HIRED!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON 😭 I ALREADY FEEL SO BURNT OUT I'M REALLY HOPING THINGS WILL CALM DOWN AFTER SEPTEMBER IG (WHEN I STOP WORKING TWO JOBS) OR BY NOVEMEBER AT LEAST (WHEN THEATRE IS OVER) BUT WE'LL SEE </3 i'm sure things will continue to come up but i fr just want to lay down and sleep until 3pm like u did today 😔😔 that sounds so nice </3

AND PLEASE WHY IS YOUR TECH THEATRE STORIES THE SAME AS MINE like i was a run and props kid until my school's musical sophomore year where we got these three boys who all wanted to do tech and we had too many run and props kids so i was like "yk what. let me go to lights so that hopefully u three can be together" which didn't even work out bc one of the boys got thrown into lights with me while the other two were on run and props but were on opposite wings LMAO and so that was my first show doing lights which i did board op for because it was also our last show of the year which was also our like senior who knew everything about lights' last show so after that she GRADUATED and i was the one left to figure everything out 😭😭 and then the year after we lost our senior that knew everything about sound so my senior year was a STRUGGLE omg...bad times. but then i left that department a mess bc i could no longer care. like that lights kid wanted my job so badly? fine, fend for urself bro i'm not teaching u anything (sorry i am spiteful against that kid still LMAO) I ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT DOING TECH IN UNI!! my junior year i was fully planning to go to school to get a bfa for lighting design (new grounds was such a self insert for me LMAO) and my tech director literally pushed me to do it but then i decided i really did not want to be in these toxic stressful environments for the rest of my life 😭 BUT IF I HAD YOU!!! I DEF ACTUALLY WOULDN'T MIND <3 WE WOULD BE THE BEST DUO EVER I KNOW IT!! WE'D BOTH KNOW HOW TO DO OUR JOBS AND THAT WOULD BE LITERALLY GROUND BREAKING!! i mean even just reading ur stories i could feel the stress of like managing EVERYTHING i am so sorry for u mango anon but i am with u completely and from one tech mother to another, thank u for ur services 🫡 (i say tech mother bc WOMEN IN STEM!! in my entire four years of high school our top of the mill techies were always girls until we had this one run and props guy ruin it 🙄 he's actually the same guy who i used to like and the one who my mutual friend tried to get us to go to prom together but like i would NEVER UGHGHGH sorry he's also so frustrating to deal with i need to stop thinking about those times and this is exactly why i didn't actually go into theatre for school LMAOO) BUT YES AAA!! I WILL UPDATE YOU ON THE SUNA TECH SMAU AND I LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI TOO <33333 haruichi furudate really put his whole budget into that team like please everyone on there is so pretty and beautiful and amazing and pookie shaped i love them sm <33 AND LOWKEY i was feeling like a stage manager reader (probably usually audio head but is stage managing this show) x lights head suna...bc i think that'd just be a crazy dynamic of her lowkey being in a higher position than him and he's just teasing and messing with her the whole time..BUT IDK and ik like theatre works differently in college but THIS IS MY WORLD AND WRITING SO I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!! i also have absolutely nothing actually planned out for the smau so who even knows LMAO THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME TO TAKE MY TIME </3 THERE'S DEFINITELY SO MUCH I NEED TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME UEFBIEWIOEGLN

BUT I'M GLAD U HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES WITH PEOPLE NOT STRUGGLING we did this one horror play (which was SUCH a mess. okay let me just say this. our stage manager full on just gave up like halfway thru and would sit next to me reading vampire books and so same lights kid that kept trying to steal my job decided that it was "UP TO HIM" to save the show HIS WORDS EXACTLY I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THIS when literally the entire show was going fine and so basically he was like overthrowing our stage manager and was taking it upon himself to stage manage instead and give cues and just OMG THAT SHOW WAS A MESS BUT ANYWAY) and our main character just would NOT project like she was always cranky the musical we did that year she would just not sing or talk and we were like bro...ur in a musical BUT ANYWAY she wouldn't project we literally ended up hanging a mic and putting a little speaker in the booth so we could hear her bc like it was so important that we heard her lines but we couldn't when we were in a booth behind four windows and a closed door 😭😭

AND HELP YOUR ONLINE STORIES??? I GIGGLED READING ABOUT HIM TEACHING YOU SPANISH AND YOU TEACHING HIM VIET BUT ALSO THE ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP BEING OLDER WHEN YOU WERE A MINOR WAS CRAZY BUT I CAN'T EVEN JUDGE BC THAT WAS ME TOO 😭😭 I FEEL LIKE THAT'S HOW IT ALWAYS IS FOR ME I'M LIKE ALWAYS ONE OF THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE IN A FRIEND GROUP but i cannot imagine what that guy was thinking (i LOVE DISCORD NAMES HOLD ON LET ME GO FIND THE NAME OF MY GUY i think he changed it bc it's froge now...but ANYWAY IT WAS SOMETHING LAME AND SO WAS HIS ROBLOX USER IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE DARK KNIGHT IDK) but i cannot imagine the stress socks was going thru </33 i bet he sent that and then u were like "oh let me go translate it!" and then he was like "OMG SHE DIDN'T RESPOND AND SHE WENT OFFLINE SHE HATES ME" and just flipped and said "jk" bc THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS JUST A JOKE LIKE U DO NOT TEACH PEOPLE CONFESSIONS LIKE DID THE TAMING OF THE SHREW TEACH U PEOPLE NOTHING THAT IS SO OLD SCHOOL!! (i also never proofread these and just go on tangents and for that, i am sorry </3)

BUT I ALSO DON'T LIKE RAW FISH DW AT ALL!! like they have a hawaiian poke bowl too or something with all raw tuna and i'm like...yeah i'm good actually... and so my only other choice is imitation crab unfortunately 😭 BUT I HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING GOOD AND LIKE IT!!

MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU <3 I ATE A BAGEL HALFWAY THROUGH THIS AS WELL (you can probably tell when i started eating it bc i was only typing with my left hand and probably didn't use as many crying emojis for a bit LMAO) AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU!! I LOVE YOU <3 AND I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!! I LOVE CHICKEN AND RICE AND I WILL MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AS LONG AS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SHIFT TOMORROW!! <3

[alia-the-wintergirl]

tuesday, july 9 2024

breakdown of my day and what i ate + did + feel bad/good about

METABOLISM DAY

i hate metabolism day

BREAKFAST: 219

milk - 1 1/2 cups - 183 cals - for the protein and the taste. i love milk but its usually too high cal for me to consider.

chocolate non pareils - 2 pieces - 36 cals - witness my total lack of self-control. ashamed of this.

overview: milk good, chocolate non pareils bad. only have 2 left, and i don't think i will buy more. they are good for when someone asks me what snack i want tho.

LUNCH: 487

pina colada smoothie - 15.2oz - 280 cals - for the fiber + my mom knows i like these and would be suspicious if i didn't drink it, so i saved it for a metabolism day

gerber's lil crunchies, tomato flavor - 16 pieces - 35 cals - a little snacky snack to crunch on. the bad thing about these is that 16 pieces didn't fill the bag i used for it (none smaller were available) and made it look like a lot less food.

peanuts - 1oz - 172 cals - for the fats, and i like the flavor. makes me happy

overview: okay lunch, but left me hungry and made me vulnerable to snacking behaviors.

DINNER: 386

white bread - 1 slice - 66 cals + tillamook shredded cheese - 28 grams - 120 cals + tofu - 2 1/2oz - 65 cals = don't ask what unholy abomination this made. it was okay though, but would not make again and would definitely not recommend to anyone, regardless of 3d or not.

large apple - 1 ct - 116 cals - dessert! very yummy and filling.

chocolate non pareil - 1 piece - 18 cals - nobody's surprised to see this here.

overview: nobody should ever make what i made with the bread, cheese, and tofu ever again. it's unholy and evil, the opposite of the apple i had after. that was very good.

SNACKS: 264

spearmint gum - 3 sticks - 30 cals - to get me through the morning. i hate improv.

snyder's mini pretzels - 8 pieces - 44 cals - was craving salt, and in a remarkable lack of self-control that is not at all new to me, i ate pretzels.

pocky, chocolate - 1 package/40 grams - 190 cals - was not hungry for this and ate it anyway. soured my mood.

overview: the pocky was the worst thing about today. really was not fun to eat and was too many calories to not like eating it. made me really unhappy.

EXERCISE: 0 cals

walked about ~3 miles today, but that was counted towards daily activity.

SAD ABOUT:

the pocky, which was totally unnecessary and made me feel worse, which an indulgence should never do.

lack of exercise.

PROUD ABOUT:

took initiative and went on a walk.

that's it.

CONCLUSION:

i hate metabolism days.

the pocky was an awful move. i need more self-control.

ate 1356 calories today, with no calories burned.

NET CALORIES: 1356

i feel like shit right now.

i wish everyone the best with their 4n4 journey!