#I just wanted to do your asks justice

[deelavis]

Omgggggg im so excitded to hear your thoughts Mello 4 or 3 Near 9 or 13 or whichever you prefer i also just like to hear you talk🥺

I know these are supposed to be silly and quick I just have too many thoughts and I wanted to do all of them instead of one or the other *__*

3. Mello-Drinking Headcanon

I think Mello doesn't drink much on his own. Like he's not the type to just drink at home by himself (unless he's REALLY going through something) but when he's out on the town he will. And because of it I actually think he would be a total lightweight. And he just starts rambling like CRAZY when he's drunk. The guys in his gang never mention it the next morning because they're too scared to lose a finger, but Mello seems to have a lot of things he really hates??? Like SUPER specific seemingly unrelated things that he will just go on and on about. Like when their waiter had bleached silver-white hair he went on a 30 minute tirade about how people with white hair just think they're so special and pretty and they how they need to be put in their place. Or when the bar they go to has giant jenga and he loses so badly he goes on a tare about how anyone that is good at board games and puzzles are actually just big dumb idiots.

4. Mello-Angry headcanon

This one stumped me a bit because I feel like we see Mello angry so often in canon that it's hard to think of a headcanon for it. But the more I thought about it I realized that it's a big headcanon of mine that Mello fixates about things he gets angry about. Like even if he feels less angry after the fact he cannot stop thinking about it, even if it's to think about how stupid he was about getting angry in the first place. This will only take place in his head though, he will absolutely not be telling anyone that he is thinking he could ever be wrong.

9.Near-Childhood headcanon

I think when Near came to Wammy's he was VERY little. I don't have much of a headcanon about his birth family since I also think he has almost no memory of them, just flashes here and there that are more sense memories. Though I do headcanon him as half Korean and half Dutch (doesn't work super well with the entomology of the surname River, but fuck it we ball). When he's brought to Wammy's I usually think he's about 4-5 and non-verbal. He shows a lot of signs of heightened intelligence which is what lands him in Wammy's instead of a regular orphanage, but I think before they can figure out how to work with him, Near ends up having a lot of melt downs. With the way the orphanage handles things the other kids don't really see it but Near has a lot of screaming, crying fits before they find a reliable way for him to communicate.

13.Near-Sex headcanon

Idk if this will be a controversial headcanon but I think once Near has had sex a few times and becomes more comfortable with it after "solving the puzzle" of something new, he is absolutely insatiable and is the one initiates the most often. I really only see him with Mello so I always think that in a world where something happens between them and he gets to this point, the moment people leave the room and they're alone he gives Mello this look-

(Please excuse the quick crappy sketch) and pounces on him. With just no regard to how soon people will be back. Truly he is a horny monster.

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've said multipe times now (here and here) that thinking nmj is just so blinded by privilege he doesn't undertand that acting out of line gets people killed is, in my opinion, a misunderstanding of his character that ignores the part where he's, you know, actively dying the whole time and thinks that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean I don't think privilege plays no role at all in how he views the world.

Specifically, his view that death (at least premature or violent death) means something.

Death isn't always a tragedy to NMJ, but it is always meaningful. If you kill an evil dangerous person for your righteous cause, that death had meaning. There was evil in the world and now there is less of it. Similarly, if you die in the pursuit of your righteous cause, that death has meaning, because the sheer dedication you gave to it that you were willing to die for it will further that cause, and your bretheren will be invigorated by your sacrifice to fight even harder.

If a death isn't meaningful, that's an injustice and it is up to the living to give it meaning. That's what cuts so deep about his father's murder. There were no consequences, no changes, no meaning. Wen Ruohan was just going to get away with it! He fights and wins an entire war to make it mean something, to make it so that the unjust murder of Nie Mingjue's father is part of Wen Ruohan's downfall.

But this is a view he can only hold because he's the kind of person who's death will be meaningful. Most ordinary people's deaths are meaningless. Not ontologically, not inherently, but they are made meaningless because no one cares. For death to be meaningful you either have to be so powerful that anything you risk your life for will be impacted in some way. (Like, say, if you sacrifice a long life for immense martial power in a faustian bargain with a blade) Or if people with that kind of power care enough about you to do so for you. For most people, this isn't true. A starving street kid has no power to change the unfair world that put them there, even if they risk their life trying, and no one will do it for them once they die.

Nie Mingjue knows this in abstract, and of course rightfully believes it's wrong. But all that does is make it yet another righteous cause people should be willing to die for. Everyone's deaths should mean something, we'll make it so or die trying!

This is what the conflict between nieyao is about at its core. Because Jin Guangyao, fundamentally, cannot conceive of his own death as meaningful. Nie Mingjue grew up around powerful men who could change the world but refuse to do so because god forbid they risk a single hair on their perfect heads. Meng Yao, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where no one of importance would blink twice if you died. He was surrounded by meaningless death. Indeed his entire early life is defined by that lack of care.

Meng Shi dies and no one cares. Meng Yao gets thrown off a flight off stairs and no one cares. He has to be the one to do the caring, and once he's gone no one else will do it for him.

So he has to live.

Jin Guangyao eventually gets far enough that he actually does aquire the power to change some things... as long as he's alive. If he changes too much, holds on too tightly to his ideals, he'll die and it'll all be for nothing. He can't sacrifice himself for his goals because doing so would immediately render those goals unobtainable. No one will care about what he tried to do. He won't be a heroic sacrifice, he'll just be trash that finally cleaned itself up.

And well... Nie Mingjue dies, and someone makes it mean something. Makes it mean so much that the entire story of mdzs would not exist without it. Jin Guangyao dies and it doesn't mean anything. Most people are glad to be rid of him, and the few that are not don't do anything to change that.

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting

[plusultraetc]

Have you published this yet? 😭 i NEED IT

I have not, I'm so sorry 😭 I am a very slow writer and fake dating real feelings turned into a longer fic than I anticipated!! I do have a tag for it now where I post snippets, and here's some more of The Phone Call as an apology for how long this dang fic is taking (little language warning for anyone who needs it!):

[oneluckydragon]

got hit with the echo+sora brainrot so i am once more rambling in your askbox about it. because reasons.

anywho i think there is something truly saddening about echo's struggles to make peace within herself and how she truly finds it hard to find that peace when she is so certain that if the truth about her origins were to be revealed to the world, much less to *sora*, everything she achieved, everything she worked for, all of which matters to her most, will crumble away in a moment's notice.

but the fear of losing all your life's work is none compared to the fear of losing sora. the feeling of poison that settled itself within themselves and between each other out of fear and tragedy of what had happened to them is familiar. echo's resemblance to dusknoir was already enough to set the two off because of how much it had all hurt to see someone you love and yourself turn into a mockery and a splitting image of someone who had pretended to care yet showed he never did at all, but this poison is louder. it hurts to bare, to carry, and to have none but yourself to be its sole holder.

but this poison, this feeling of heartache is different. because whereas the previous pain was something both of them felt, sora was lucky enough to not have known the truth about the person who she cares for so dearly.

echo knows that she used to be darkrai. and it haunts her to have known that her previous incarnation was so *cruel*, all for the sake of it just feeling right. wishing to engulf an entire world in darkness, solely for whatever desire she used to have.

and for how much she knows, how much she will hammer it into her own head that she is *not* like that anymore, that she looks at her past with sneer and disgust and that she will not be the barer of evil anymore, it will not matter in the slightest when she will have to look at sora if she were to ever find out.

how afraid, angry and dejected she would look when finding out, and how she will go on the defense/offense because of how much this will overwhelm her.

because when echo looks at her own shadow, she sees herself for what she is. she knows what she is, be it out of shame or guilt.

but when sora will look at it, she will see a tall, contorting and menacing shadow, towering over with a bright cyan eye doing nothing but looking at her, as if tempting her to make the next move.

and she defends herself. from someone she knows will not harm her. she raises her arms up in self defense from a hand that would never hurt her more than the world has already did.

she knows echo will not hurt her. and thats why she is afraid.

Oh my oh my OH MY, Sinnoh!!! YES YES YES!

HOW!!! IN THE WORLD!!! Are you so good at crawling into my head and creating these vivid analysis/snippets on my OCs??? I've barely shared ANY information about Echo and Sora because I've been wanting to hoard most of my stuff for when my fic is finally finished... but... I think you've broken my resolve a bit, if I'm entirely honest.

You know what? I'm so inspired by your accuracy and eagerness to talk about my girls that I'm gonna forgo my crippling anxiety regarding my writing skills and instead post a snippet of my WIP fic here as a treat for you. A teaser, if you will. Since I have no idea when the fic in question will actually be done and ready (or when I will be satisfied with it, cause the thing is currently 36,000 words and still slowly climbing). And now you've got me eager to share SOMETHING of my fic with you and anyone that might want to take a peek at it.

Please enjoy this conversation between Dusknoir and Echo. The topic deals a lot with what you'd described up above!! c:

[Note: this is an unedited part of my fic because I am still in the process of writing and it may change in the future, so please be gentle w/ me but I'd love to read any thoughts/comments that pop up while reading!! pls send asks or replies or anything really cause I love you guys]

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++

“I’m going to tell you something now, and you are going to listen.” Echo commands with a sharp bite in her voice that Dusknoir cannot fathom ignoring. He pauses and then offers a slow nod, waiting, wondering what she could possibly desire to tell him at a time like this, of all things.

Minutes pass as Echo remains rooted in place, still as her own shadow, and her eyes dart around as she stares at the patches of dry grass and sand beneath her paws. Her claws clench and unclench, digging into the earth like daggers as the wind of the forest (it’s trees so close, just behind them, a looming sort of presence that could engulf them whole) whistles through the surrounding branches, carrying stray leaves of many bright greens through the chilling breeze. Dusknoir watches them dance around Echo, twirling, floating down, down, down… but it’s quiet, too quiet, and Dusknoir feels a shiver pass through him when Echo’s voice finally rings out through the silence.

"When I evolved, Sora was petrified," She says, nearly a whisper, an admission that melts away her confidence and appears to bring her a flood of both shame and regret. Her face twists up then, strangely, like she’d felt a twinge of pain from somewhere deep inside the very fabric of her own soul and was unable to quell it. "She couldn’t even bring herself to look at me most days. At first, my appearance… well, it reminded her too much of you. And eventually of someone I used to be.”

Someone I used to be. At that, Dusknoir’s immediate reaction is to recall Echo’s previous life as a human, as the miserable shell of a creature surviving alongside Grovyle that he’d relentlessly hunted in the dark future. A human made of contempt and anger and apathy, who never smiled or laughed or cried or screamed like the old legends said humans would-- an entity that simply existed rather than lived. An echo of a life long dead and buried. But, judging by her tone, by her voice, by some uneasy intuition itching in the back of his mind like a swarm of pestilent Ninjask… he knows that she means something else entirely. Something that she isn’t willing to share. And frankly, that concept utterly terrifies him.

Someone I used to be. Dusknoir wants to speak, to break his own silence, wants to ask the myriad of questions bubbling up in his throat because this isn't the first time she's hinted at another life beyond being human, but those questions die at the source like a flame doused in water. And always the coward, coward, coward, instead he takes the easy way out by doing nothing at all. Whether Echo notices his surge of inner conflict or not-- the nervous wring of his hands and the tremble in his spine that he cannot control under her gaze-- she does not react.

“I’d take a step and Sora would flinch away.” Echo confesses, her markings flickering with light before going dark and dead, as if her body wished to snuff them out entirely, a deep seated rejection, a self-loathing so strong that Dusknoir cannot help but recognize it and empathize, and his heart aches, “It took ages for her to stop shaking when I’d speak. To stop looking at me like-- like I was going to…” 

Echo grimaces like she’s enduring waves of grueling torture and doesn’t finish that string of thought, but it’s not hard to make an educated guess on what went unsaid. Like I was going to betray her. Hurt her. Break her heart. She’s been through so much already and I couldn’t bear to be another influence in the history of her suffering. I hate myself because of how I made her feel. When her eyes went wide in fear and through them I could see myself staring back like some sort of burden, some sort of curse.

“I am not my past.” Proud and true, Echo straightens up and holds her head high, a spark igniting in her eyes, a glint of determination, a will to keep going and going despite such circumstances and strife, despite this horrid, unspeakable past that haunts her so, “And I am definitely not you. It’s taken a while, but I know that much now. I’ve accepted it.”

I am not my past. And I am definitely not you.

A sigh, a breath, and Echo glances at him with a certain sorrow that cannot be described, a sorrow that lingers even through the veil of her tenacity, "But no matter how I feel, no matter my conviction, my shadows still find ways through the cracks. Every time I think I'm getting a grip and that I might finally understand myself… I change all over again." She admits, sounding more angry and tired than defeated now-- like a mirror of her old self, her human self that had clawed and damned and cursed him, despised him more than anything. "I hate it. I hate that I never truly know who I am. That I have to learn about my past through stories others tell me, or through fragments of twisted, broken memories that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Through conflict and pain and… and..."

"Echo," Dusknoir murmurs her name softly, an offering, a potential escape if only she would wish to drop the subject and forget this conversation had ever happened-- if she'd overstepped and needed an excuse to back out, a diversion, an understanding. And briefly, Dusknoir wonders why she is opening up about this particular information, why she would delve into something so vulnerable, so personal. Why she would bring up this hurtful history when it obviously brings her great discomfort.

And then, he gets an answer.

“You’re lucky, Dusknoir." There it is, that wildfire burning in her eyes again. A spark that’s new and bold and startling. But lucky? No, never. He'd have to disagree, accounting the mountain of evidence that was his life and regrettable deeds.

"You already know exactly who you are and what you’ve done, and most importantly why. You have more than a tattered picture of yourself that reflects broken answers. And you can change with that knowledge. I see you trying.” She tells him, searching, looking for something so deeply and Dusknoir wishes he knew what it could be so that he could give it to her, because he would, he would gladly give it to her without a second thought if it meant they could be close again. But he isn’t a fool, and he’s wise enough to know they’ll never be like they were before. “And if somehow I could change, even as half-assed as I have. Well, then what’s your excuse?”

You can do it, say her unspoken words, I believe in you.

[yuzuna123]

Jun...my sweet beloved lonely angel...you don't deserve this my love! 😢😢 i hope future games and future tekken 8 content, or any content after Tekken 8 whatever they may be, manga, light novels, Story DLC's, movies, treats you with the love you have for Kazuya and Jin.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Sobbing and crying just saw your post of us sounding like a Sim, and I am DYING.

What if it went the other way? They can understand us, but we can't understand them!

Us : hey so what the fuck is happening why tf am I in genshin impact

Them : OMG ASKSKSKSKS FEDERRRALL MEERKK TREEESO! (Omg it's the divine God I'm shittinh myself oml) or whatever idk)

Us: excuse me what the fuck did you just say about my mother? (US mishearing or maybe the words are randomized? Who knows)

Everyone just being confused and frustrated on why you can't understand them. Is it because they aren't worshipping you enough? Maybe some friendship level BS where obly those who are lvl 10 can understand u or smth? Who knows, certainly not the Creator.

I highkey am thinking about writing smth for this now but having it be for like each archons reaction or smthin but who knows. I just wanna see a bunch of divine beings confused outta their mind in like whatever cities square and it turning into a "holy game of charades"

Also happy early birthday ajdjdjkdkdkdk

I”M SO LATE SO THANK YOU FOR THE BDAY WISHES LMAO SORRY KARMA MY BELOVED

AHHHHH U INSPIRED ME BY THE ARCHONS HOLY GAME OF CHARADES-

AND OH NO LVL 10 ONLY FRIENDSHIP UNDERSTANDING-

(づ ￣ ³￣)づ here have a hug for your patience- sorry karma!! :')

LMAO this inuyasha gif- obviously everyone else guessing what ur doing and the 2 others r like ppl like Venti or Kaeya who r just fucking with ppl by joining you lol

OK BUT WHO DO U HAVE LVL 10 FRIENDSHIP?!

BC I GOT NOBODY 😭

ITS RLLY HARD TO DO OKAY-

I HAVE TO PUT ACTUAL EFFORT INTO THE FEW THAT ARE LEVEL 4-5 

ID BE SO FUCKED-

Oh no.

Oh god (you??) no.

What if you had the highest friendship with little d**ks like Scaramouche.

noooOOOOOO

He’d be like, “Eh, I don’t feel like translating today.” 💀

Also I’m rolling with the idea that 

perfect understanding = lvl 10,

Most words 7-9

Some words 5-6

Kinda ?? they get 2 words per sentence or smth 3-4

Basically nothing 1-2

◇

Anyway ornery bitches like Scara/Xiao/Alhaitham/Rosaria/Diluc (all for diff reasons like diluc/xiao would just be overwhelmed and dont like ppl that much lol, whereas haitham doesnt give a fuck lmao) would kinda suck to have as translators

OH NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD JUST LIE ABOUT WHAT U SAID ON PURPOSE TO DECEIVE THE MASSES LIKE Heizou/Yae Miko/Kaeya/Venti 

They pull something like “oh well the god of gods said I could have the last slice of cake/an extra glass of wine hehe”

For different reasons these people would also be ROUGH translators: FISCHL OH NO- , Zhongli, Albedo (he simply would omit “unnecessary details”, cyno, ITTO PLEASE, Raiden (puppet) bc shed take stuff too far/too literally u would never be able to communicate jokes, Razor (im sorry bbyboy), Shenhe

THE CHARADDEEESSS

THE CHARADES OF THE GODS 

You may or may not get another title of a jokester god bc of these SILLY charades 💀

The people u have higher levels of friendship with giving hints LMAO

♤

“Uhhh….. Oh! Oh! Greatest Lord wishes to see a dance performance!” 

Nahida’s sweet voice rings out in Yujing Terrace, her tiny hand waving in the air like an elementary student who’s really excited to answer. …Which isn’t that far off honestly.

“Hmm, I disagree Buer, I believe the Hundun Emperor is saying they wish to take a bath perhaps. I am also attempting to use context, as it has been a long day for them.” Zhongli is in his classic “majestic thinking gentleman” pose, and you’d admire it more if it weren’t for the fact that they don’t seem to be getting what you’re saying.

You hadn’t yet found someone with a higher friendship level than 2 or 3 (hey, don’t blame yourself, you really have to put effort into friendship levels to get them anywhere and you were still busy screwing around in Sumeru when you got spirited away).

So needless to say, most people were getting “the, me, I, you, etc.” rather than the actual important keywords you needed them to, hence the godly charade game now.

As you “hold” something, you throw your hands up in the air, still keeping your hands wrapped around nothing. You think if somebody told you last week that you’d be playing charades with the archons in Genshin Impact so you could actually communicate with them… well you don’t know what you would have done. Maybe just gave them a really awkward laugh.

“Oh! Are you asking for a weapon? Akitsu Mikami, my emperor, we or our nations will surely provide protection from any harm that might befall you. Hm, I suppose we should offer something anyway… I wouldn’t want to displease them…” Ei mutters to herself, having taken over her puppet once more for the occasion.

She and Buer, still retaining their authority status, had asked for the area to be cleared in order to try and get closer to communicating with the Divine First, or you.

“Ha! What idiot would try to hurt the All-Parent in their home, unless they wish to get thrown?” Venti cheekily says, as you don’t understand him, but judging by Zhongli’s clenched jaw, Ei’s sigh, and Nahida’s giggle, you can guess.

You give your own sad sigh… it’s already been 3 hours. 😭

How hard is charades for 4 archons??

Well… apparently very hard.

You put your face in your hands, and you hear the (retired) archons start to debate something, you can tell it’s getting a little passive-aggressive between Venti and Zhongli by their tone alone. 

…Okay, now it’s just aggressive.

The archons eventually give their attention back to you so you can go back to your charades lol

You tried opening your mouth and closing it, very obvious, they can’t go wrong. 

…Turns out they can. 

Somehow you find yourself with a hot tea brewed by the geo archon. 

(Venti attempted to offer you Dandelion Wine, or Osmanthus Wine even, and only god, well you now, knows where he pulled them from. Ei swatted his head, he looked so offended, and his cheeks were all puffed up, heh.)

Giving up, you just try to motion for them to stay still, your hands gesturing like trying to calm a wild animal.

They give you questioning looks, and you begin to walk off, they all seem to immediately start discussing something with each other. All of the gods look very conflicted, and after a minute of you getting further away (yes, you’re almost home free, Xiangling here you come! ) Nahida skips to catch up with you.

She gives you a beaming smile, and you can’t bring yourself to not return it. She's so much cuter in real life, even the official art didn't do her justice.

You make your way towards the restaurant, finally.

And apparently you’re happier than you thought to smell the savory scents flowing out of the kitchen because your stomach growls loudly.

You’re too hungry to even attempt to stop it, no one will care, except Nahida’s eyes go wide. She begins to sputter, and flail her hands desperately trying to charade an apology at you.

…you were just trying to tell them you were hungry. 💀

☆

Ask box open again! :] 🎊

Pspspspspssubliminalmessagingyouwillsendthatdeadaquariusanaskpssppspspspspssss

✨️Hope you guys got smth out of this rough draft✨️ ♡

:D hope u guys have had a good weekend!

My senior art exhibit is april 6th so wish me luck and prayers (from any religion im not picky pls)

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[braceletofteeth]

How about 1, 3, 5, 7, 8 9 & 11 for the ❤️🧡💛bl ask game 💚💙💜 (this might be my sneaky way to get bl recs)

1. Favorite Main Couple

Hira & Kiyoi, from Utsukushii Kare/My Beautiful Man.

For one, I really like these characters, not only for what they are like as a couple, but for them. For their personalities, their thought process, the way they talk and feel about things. That already sets them apart from other couples that I've enjoyed as far as their romance went, but didn't get invested in (both!) the characters themselves—and I noticed there seems to be a correlation between how much I like the characters involved, and how much I care about their romance.

But if we're talking about them as a couple, I think what I like the most about their relationship is the equilibrium. The idea that Hira and Kiyoi are perfectly balanced.

Aaaand I know there is definitely at least one person who have watched the show going “WHAT” right now, but let me explain first 🤚🧐

Hira loves in a way that is very, very specific, and Kiyoi wants to be loved in a certain way that is also very specific. The love that Hira has to give, not everyone can handle; the love that Kiyoi would like to receive, not everyone can give to him. The fact that they meet and somehow find in each other exactly what they craved for?

That's the stuff miracles (and OTPs) are made of.

3. Favorite Main Character

Hey, have I ever told you the story of How I Met My Blorbo? No? Well. Would you believe it. It was actually through a “Most Whipped” poll from the infamous @ bl-bracket.

It was the second round, and he was winning against Kurosawa, from Cherry Magic—someone whose whippedness I was already familiar with, and thought would be pretty hard to beat. I didn't know who this Hira guy was, or what he could have possibly done or be like to be considered more whipped than Kurosawa. So, already intriguing. I went back to check the first round. On that round, he had won by an even larger margin. It was almost ridiculous. Taking a look at the comments left in the reblogs of both rounds, who I got described back to me was a boy who was so whipped it was considered weird and probably unhealthy. Huh! Very intriguing indeed. By then, I was practically sold.

It was only a surface level of interest at first, just because I think Being Whipped is one of the best character traits for someone in a romantic relationship to have; as well as being very intense, and even a little (or a lot) weird about it.

But then, I actually met him and *breathes in* God, there's so much to say about Hira. I fear I'll never get to say it all... but let me summarize to the best of my abilities (I'll try to keep it short).

The Hira that we're first introduced to is a resigned boy who feels inadequate and rejected by his school peers. His response to that unwelcome environment is that he, himself, doesn't wanna be a part of the community—he'd rather keep to himself, or “be invisible”, as he puts it. He finds comfort in his solitude, or at least he tries to.

He has a hobby—photography—but he feels like he just does that for the sake of doing it. There's nothing in particular that he'd like to photograph. He's just going with the flow. All he does in life, it seems, is go with the flow, letting the tides take him forward.

Essentially, he's lacking companionship and a purpose, and that's a very frustrating way to live. When you just lack one or the other, you can still find some fulfillment in what you have. But when you lack both? It gets really hard to think of your life—or yourself—as valuable.

So when he meets Kiyoi Sou, and decides to dedicate his whole being to him—body, mind, and soul? I get it. I really do. Because the acts of service give him purpose, a reason to be, and it also establishes a connection to somebody, even if it's unilateral. It's a chance to be present, but somewhat still at the margins, never the one at the center of attention.

Hira believes he's unworthy of attention. He stays so much in his own head, he can't see his own qualities. And mind you, he has plenty of qualities! For example: Hira is book smart (see: finishes his homework much faster/with less difficulty than the others), strong (see: no less than three people are needed to hold him back when he's defending Kiyoi with his own hands), competent (see: learning how to do all house chores by himself), talented (see: admired by the other members of his uni's Photography Club), and handsome too (see: gif above people who had never met him before commenting on his looks and even hitting on him as soon he takes his hair off his face and dresses in an outfit that complements his body). Well-mannered, loyal, honest to a fault. And cute, in an awkward way. And funny, even when he has no intention to be.

But, of course, he has some flaws too, like... *frowns*... *frown deepens*... It will come to me... *staring at the wall*... Oh. He usually won't communicate how he feels unless someone else prompts him to. Which can be frustrating and cause problems... but that's on everyone else *shrugs*

(I jest like I'm not one of the people who have felt frustrated because of this...)

As much as he might struggle to communicate how he feels verbally, though, usually his face will give him away. Be it showing his displeasure, or his awe. And no one shows awe like Hira Kazunari. Like, I don't know how the actor, Riku, does that, but you can see literal stars in his eyes sometimes. “Oh, you mean heart eyes?” nononono ☝ I've seen heart eyes. That's not it. It's not the look you give a lover—it's the look of someone who travels back in time and watches the universe born.

Which sounds normal, right? No! No, it doesn't! Now you get what I mean about this guy?! How can someone be so passionate about anything? He's so... So. He's so much. He found what he wanted to dedicate his life to, and he never once doubted the conviction he has in its merit. That was it for him. The fucking big bang, over and over, forever. Nothing can compare to that, and his life is fulfilled as long as he gets to keep experiencing it.

... Anyways. He's a fascinating little guy, and a kindred spirit to me. I love watching him discover that he's capable and deserving of being and having much more than he assumes he is—despite his every attempt to deny himself so.

5. Favorite Female Character

So, I already answered this one time, but allow me to take this awesome opportunity to mention two other female characters that haunt me to this day—the sisters from Manner of Death, Janejira and Rungtiwa.

Now, if you're not familiar with them—basically, one is one of the most disgusting people you'll ever have the displeasure of knowing, and the other did nothing wrong in her life and suffered more than Jesus.

Jane, although not being there in person for most of it, is a fundamental piece to the narrative. She's what brings everything together. You could almost say MOD is her story—about discovering what happened to her and why that happened to her; her motivations, and the conclusion to her mission.

Honestly, I don't think I could do half of what Jane had the courage to attempt. Except for Tan and Dr. Bunn, it seemed like the whole world was against her. Powerful, terrifying people, as well as people close to her. People who should have been on her side no matter what, were the ones who hurt her the most. That in itself could break anybody's spirit. But she kept going. When the ones who should have defended her weren't there, she fought back for herself. She said she would do it herself. She would put an end to it herself; finally take back the control of her story.

When I think about all the rage, horror, and hurt that woman must have felt, I just about go mad all over again.

And Rungtiwa. When I talk about Jane's older sister, it might sound like I hate her. And I do. She's the character I hate the most out of every universe. The day she has no more haters, I'm no longer in this world.

But, as it is inevitable, the more you hate somebody, the longer they stay with you. I'll never forget about Rungtiwa, or how deep run her greed. What it led her to do, and to become.

7. Top 5 BL

Utsukushii Kare

A few months ago, I read a list in here, on this very website. Someone had asked for recommendations on High School Japanese BLs, and the kind owner of the blog made a list of their favorites. There were about five of them, it wasn't a long list, but Utsukushii Kare was listed as one of them.

That was very weird.

No, I don't disagree with the author of the post. Utsukushii Kare is good, and should be recommended. There was nothing wrong with that list, technically. But it still felt weird, to see Utsukushii Kare there, among the others. And it was then I realized that, before that moment, I had never, ever, ever thought of this drama as a High School Love Story.

I had never thought of it as a story that had a school as a setting, and it wasn't just because they were only high school students for half of it. I didn't consider Hira's house as the setting either, nor any of the other locations they passed through. Not even the city they lived in. In my head, to call those places the setting of their story was technically correct, but also completely wrong.

“Well, Brace, where did you consider the story was set, then?” Hira & Kiyoi's World, of course?????? What kind of stupid ques-

Listen. Even when they were at school, in many of those scenes, it was just the two of them. When they were outside, too, they were alone together, in most of them. And when not, more often than not, they would be looking at each other, would be thinking of each other. It was like nothing else mattered... more.

This drama helped me give name to my favorite trope of all time, which I now call A World of Two. Well, it's more like a dynamic than a trope, and one day I'd like to talk about it more extensively in a separate post, because there are specific causes and possible collateral effects to it—but it's basically when two people make each other the center of their worlds.

When they come together, it's like they are in a separated space and time from everything. It's a whole world in a single space, that they share together, and it can only exist because of the connection they have. Some kind of mutual understanding or attachment that makes the ones outside of it, strangers, but the two inside, natives; from the same land, the same home.

(In that space, during that time, they feel more like themselves than in any other.)

Never Let Me Go

I struggle to find words to describe or something to compare it to... It's like...

A movie from the 1970's that is set in the 2020's, except the vibes are not futuristic, but of an old play, a tale as old as time. A modern fairytale. A dream that you wake up from and it's like you just came back from an adventure; all your memories of it have a glint to them, the colors in tones you have never seen, your heart longing for another world, the feeling of plenitude. A melody that sounds grand in a ball room, but intimate in your home, when you play it for a loved one. A blend of summer love and 72 years of marriage. Butterflies in your stomach. Heaven on Earth.

The more I talk, the more pretentious I sound (although it's all true). So let me try to keep it simple: I like the classics. I like when people join forces to fight against the world together, overcoming obstacles and the miserable situation they are in. But I also think there should be just as much—actually, even more—joy, love, and hope, in between all that. To show what they could be, what could be theirs, if it wasn't for all The Horrors. I believe that's what makes the most satisfying Happy Endings.

... There's also something about how Palm and Nuengdiao would get lost in each other's eyes. The recognition there—a conversation between their souls, that no one else was privy to.

Strangers From Hell

Still funny that the devil fell in love with him and Yoon Jongwoo tried to convince you he didn't understand why, but he was lying the entire time.

Also my doctor said I can call BL whatever I want, because of the uniquely acute vision I have (he's a dentist).

KinnPorsche

[Little House on the Hill starts playing on the background]

A part of me stayed at that safehouse. It may never find a way out.

... Also. Maybe some people look back now and are able to think KinnPorsche was not that big of a deal, but to me, she still remains That Bitch™.

The cinematography, those locations—they are severed in my brain. Most of the songs from the soundtrack were not made with it in mind, but it was almost like they were. I still listen to many of them. And I can still repeat many of those lines of dialogue from memory—a reflection of how many times I had them repeated to me because of how impactful or iconic they were for us. The storyline was engaging, every week. Both the protagonists and antagonists were entertaining. There were many characters, and they made us remember them all. Even those who were only there briefly. And all three main couples were good—you'd get hurt no matter what your preference was :D

And all the while, great action scenes, plus some other surprises no one had ever seen on television anywhere.

It was the most thrilling experience I've had watching anything, and sometimes I fear I'll never get to feel that again.

Love in the Air

Everyone puts different values on different things. LITA might be a bit rough around the edges, but both Love Storm and Love Sky are comfort zones to me.

Their stories are, at their core, about trust. And you know what? It's easy to make a story about that in which one of the characters doesn't trust easily and the other is this admirable, dependable person... but that's not quite how it goes here.

In LITA, the people (Rain / Prapai) who need to earn another's (Payu / Sky) trust, don't exactly inspire that trust in the beginning. In fact, they do the opposite, and need to work for it, to become a version of themselves that they, too, come to believe that their partners deserve.

Sky's and Payu's trust issues come from past relationships that went wrong, but in very different ways. Sky was in an abusive relationship, and discarded when it was over; Payu was rejected for his personality, his overbearing tendencies. Those experiences led them to not open up their hearts as easily again.

On the other end of this, there are Prapai and Rain, and they are... they are a mess, it's the word. They are so lost, at their respective starting points. But Rain, at least, receives instructions: Payu wants him to succeed, if Payu—the way he is—is what Rain decides is right for him. If he's serious about it. And despite the initial mishaps, it's always clear that they are a perfect match, singing to each other's tune.

There was no such clarity, however, when it came to Prapai and Sky. In fact, when people were first introduced to Prapai, a lot of us thought that he was... inadequate. That he was not right for Sky, and he would not care for him the way Sky deserved.

And then, what happened? We cried. We bawled our eyes out, because of how much he genuinely fucking cared. And some of us (me), I dare say, have never recovered from that.

8. First BL

The first BL drama I've watched was Where Your Eyes Linger, back when it was released in 2020. A friend thought I'd be interested in seeing history being made, so she made us watch together. At the time, I was not into asian dramas yet—the few I watched every now and then were because of my friend.

Rewatching it recently, I realized WYEL has a ship dynamic that I usually enjoy a lot, and some well done emotional scenes—which, for some reason, didn't have an effect on me the first time, because I don't remember the story lingering with me after. Probably because it was short and passed too fast, if I had to guess? But I can appreciate it for what it is more, now.

It took three more BLs till I became a regular watcher—I watched Addicted (stumbling upon it by chance on youtube) and Semantic Error (presented by the aforementioned friend), before watching Manner of Death, a story so dope that it made me fold and search for more BLs on purpose, just in case there were other stories that good out there. It was the first step into a world of possibilities I was previously unaware of, and I have found I quite like it in here.

9. Currently Watching

Takara no Vidro [4/10]

Perfect 10 Liners [2/24]

The Eighth Sense [1/10]

HIStory 3: Trapped [17/20]

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan [1/10]

I'm using colors to represent how I'm currently feeling about them:

Pink: positive feelings

Blue: neutral feelings

Orange: negative feelings

Right now I don't really have the energy to binge, so it's been a slow catch up with my watchlist. I've been trying to watch BLs from different countries (because this year most have been Thai) and dramas in general of other genres (because most of what I've watched this year was romance). Also more GLs (there is a great diversity of them available right now!). But yes, as for BLs, only the ones listed.

Oh, but I'm also waiting for new episodes of a korean BL animation called Shutline...? Which is more smut than plot, to be completely frank, but I started watching because the main characters are a mechanic and a gang member whose job includes killing people (that might sound familiar 😬). Apparently, “I'm watching because there's a mechanic” is the new “I'm watching because there's a dentist” for me (and only God knows the places that will take me).

11. Most Anticipated Upcoming BL

It might come as a surprise, as I've been very tight-lipped, lowkey, and downright secretive about it... but it's the (alleged) romcom series The Heart Killers.

I just think “approaching a dangerous person with ulterior motives without getting caught” is an intriguing premise, you know? Keeping elaborated secrets is a difficult task, especially when it might cost your life; worse when you lose the plot and get enticed by your own lies, the fantasy you created for someone else, and might end up breaking your own heart in the process.

That's a ride that is bound to be full of ups and downs, and I need to know how high they're gonna take us before the drop, as well as how rough or delicate will be the pick up later.

I'm also just really excited to meet these characters and see how their dynamics will play out. I'm compelled by Bison's longing for freedom; allured by Kant's charms; amused by Style's shamelessness; and, last but not least, possessed by a mighty need to see someone reach inside Fadel's armor and pull at a loose thread until he falls apart.

I just think this one is gonna be fun. :)

(tried to make it sound like the normal kind of excitement, but I don't wanna lie to you, mate... I'm obsessed with this thing. It's been pretty bad. Like, really bad. It's been like that for six months, and it has only gotten worse... Don't try to help me, though!! 😩🖐 At this point, the only antidote is the release of the series...)

—

I don't know how useful this could have been as for recs, since most of the shows I mentioned are no strangers to this blog's page, but... this gave me an opportunity to reflect on them, and I enjoy doing that. So thank you for picking these numbers for me! 😊💛

See you o/

[lovelyrotter]

ppl in fandom will try to frame male character favouritism in fandom as if its a serious issue and hidden symptom of irl misogyny but im sittin here looking behind them at the 1 billion trans boys/transmascs who are either still questioning/closeted or even fully out and are just exploring their gender through fiction. what im trying to say is that its not that serious. i think everyone does this on some level, its why a lot of irl lesbians/sapphics, esp trans lesbians/sapphics, only ship f/f. but shipping isnt activism. you already have space. +1 m/m shipper doesn't mean another f/f shipper blinks out of existence. we are all playing with dolls in our separate corners

there is something to be said about how male characters on average are written with more care and attention than female characters, but in smth like homestuck???? where the girls and women literally drive the plot and have 90% of the action????? and have arguably way more compelling storylines and backstories?????? cmon now. cmon now. we're talking about the trans fandom(tm) here. i think we should stop for a second before we rev up to bash someone's ship preferences and think 'maybe they get euphoria out of this' and then move tf on. like just move on guys

[bluebipples]

ok im gonna be so controversial for a second why the fuck where the fuck is my xena warrior princess remake i understand there are lots of sapphic shows that are getting cancelled rn but we need to say fuck off to all of those and refocus our attentions on what's important and that's making xena as gay as it should have been

[banjjakz]

Wait sen… I would actually be so seated for bottom maki…

okay so basically like yes

the thing about maki is that, while her peers were busy partying, she Studied the Blade; as such, it is unsurprising that she's a turbo-virgin (affectionate).

the thing about maki is that, despite her intimidating physique, gnarly battle scars, impossibly sharpened reflexes, and peerless battle prowess, she's quite inept when it comes to matters of interpersonal connection. even before her Power Up Moment (read: Zen'in Katana Massacre) she was still a brusque, self-centered (affectionate), straight forward, blunt individual with a single-minded focus on revenge. little time to explore anything else besides combat & curses.

the thing about maki is that, the first time you make a move on her, it might register as a threat -- after all, the only other circumstances under which her pulse skyrockets and perspiration beads at her temples is when she's in active battle. are you mocking her? challenging her, even? are your half-lidded eyes and low intonations a trojan horse concealing some unknown horrors, meant to tear her down the very moment her guard falters?

the thing about maki is that once she gets it through her thick skull of hers that you are genuinely, actually coming onto her, all logical thought halts in its tracks. she knows how to wield a cursed weapon with such precision that the admiration of her deft maneuvers are often times the last bit of pleasure left in her enemies' last moments. it's been a long time since she's felt like a fish out of water. it shouldn't be as exciting as it is.

the thing about maki is that she's had to be in control and all-seeing, constantly watching her own back since the moment she stumbled upon self-awareness. how do you think she responds to a gentle touch, the ghost of a kiss along the shell of her ear, a soft pressure at the fleshiest, most vulnerable part of her?

the thing about maki is that she melts in your arms, reluctant at first and then all at once, an avalanche helplessly collapsing in on itself in the wake of an unstoppable force of heat. years of self-imposed, fear-driven solitude are chipped away at, bit by bit, through tender loving and care. it's enough to make her vomit. it's more than enough to make her cum.

the thing about maki is that she's no less a capable, formidable, and devastating combatant -- even if, behind closed doors, she's driven to her knees by no more than a few heated, whispered words. but no one else has to know about this, of course.

because, the thing about maki is that she's private, quiet, guarded -- until she unfurls for you like a belatedly blooming flower in the last few breaths of may: desperately reaching towards the sky, begging to be fed, sustained, admired, uprooted for safekeeping by capable, practiced hands.

[wishbonedean]

It really sucks seeing so many Dean and Cas posts erasing their bisexuality this pride month. I even have a whole (longer, more thorough) post written about this that's been sitting in my drafts since June 1st because I know how vicious the fandom and queer community can be on the topic of bisexuality, like bisexuals are taking them from gays or straights when *literally* the opposite is happening. And i can't believe it's still so fucking scary to talk about, but here I go.

And I'm not even trying to fight about it or anything, please don't misunderstand my tone, I'm just tired and upset and desperately want to see change. This is *not* an attack, because I think a lot of people don't even know they're participating in casual biphobia/erasure bc it's just so commonplace. Please be nice, I just cannot argue about this in 2024, this is merely a plea and a vent, I'm not editing or anything, this is just my two bisexual cents.

Bi erasure hurts, I am not joking or exaggerating. Dean and Cas are both such important characters for bi visibility, and I'm seeing so many posts completely ignoring, or worse, misrepresenting their sexualities.

If you've only watched their character development through a monosexual lens, I promise you are missing out on a story that really highlights plenty of experiences *unique* to bisexuality, and forcing it to fit into any monosexual box (straight or gay) also highlights the bi erasure experience. We exist. We aren't "under the gay umbrella". No, it's not okay bc you think it's not that serious.

We deserve our representation too. Our stories/characters matter just as much as yours. They deserve as much protection as yours. And if you love them, maybe you can love us, without feeling the need to tear us in half to be worthy of that love.

Any bisexuals in the room, feel free to chime in in the comments/tags, I want to see you too! I am *dying* to hear from you! Please please please, let's talk about this, and Dean, and Cas, and us!

[sapphire-weapon]

[princessmyriad]

.

[visceravalentines]

this is a post scribbled angrily in glitter pen in my diary pls ignore <3

[housewifebuck]

Ever heard of titfucking? Can you write Buck being obsessed with Eddie's tits?

What happened to hello…how are you…..