#i hate to tell the truth but i’m sorry dude you didn’t

[here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can]

brb crying to casual

[wheredidthe80sgo]

the misinformation out there about casual being about a woman when that is the most man coded song I’ve ever heard

[anjellaufeyson]

The truth lays within jealousy- Bellamy Blake

Warnings: basically just cursing and knife play

Summary: Bellamy's your enemy but things begin to take a turn once you start fighting to push through emotions you feel towards each other.

Bellamy Blake made my blood boil, and I prayed I made him feel the same way. I was best friends with his sister, Octavia. Meaning, I had no choice but to be in the same tent or room as him. The rivalry between Bellamy and I formed when the 100 first came to Earth. We were on dividing sides, he had everyone in his control and made them feel free but that ended dangerously. I was with the group that wanted to help and make sure we survived. 

“Do you always have to disagree with me, Blake?” 

He turned to look my way, his hand resting on the map below our waists laying on a table. “Do you always have to have disagreeable ideas–Kane?” He spit my last name out as if it left a bitter taste. 

I’m just thankful he didn’t call me that other name, the one he knew I so deeply despised. My eyes rolled on instinct, “You’re such a dick, you are aware of that flaw right?” 

He glared my way, “You always keep me aware don’t you, princess?” 

I fucking hated him, “Don’t call me that, Blake.” 

“What will you do if I say it again?” 

My father made me train with guards on the Ark since I was a child, I could easily take Bellamy, and him forgetting that made me always want to remind him. I stabbed my knife into the wood table and as soon as I did Octavia walked in. 

She moved the tent opening away, “What is going on?” 

Bellamy folded his arms making his muscles fight with his shirt. I tried my best to not stare but as much as I loathed this man and wished him nothing but the absolute worst–he was the formation of my desires. And that left lingering resentment. “Your friend is threatening me, O.” 

I unstuck the knife and pointed it at him from the other side of the table as I talked, “He was testing me, Tavia. It’s his favorite pastime,” I said staring harshly at Bellamy. 

“How about you both go train, maybe away from each other? You can work with Murphy and I’m sure you can find someone, Bell.” 

I gave a half smile, “I’m sure every–what’s the number now?” I made it look like I was deep in thought, “Like 50 girls now? Are willing to train with you, you know your way around the 100, Blake.” 

Bellamy gave me dead eyes as his jaw clenched. I struck a nerve. “O, get out.”

Octavia usually hates when Bellamy orders her around just cause he's older than her but she listened without a fight this time. She knew I crossed some form of a line. She mouthed sorry to me and walked out. 

I moved over to him, my knife laying close to his throat. He didn't care, he didn't even bat an eye. He almost smirked at the notion.

“Tell me, princess, was I supposed to pent up everything I was feeling like you do? Tell me, how's that going for you?” 

My eyes widened a bit, “I’m sorry do you want me to just go sleeping around with every dude on this earth because what? I can’t deal with my emotions correctly?” 

He bit his tongue. 

“I guess maybe I should take your advice because I see how greatly it’s been going for you. The known asshole you only go to for a hit and quit it.” 

Bellamy eyed me, “Is this you trying to offer up, princess?” 

My breath was shaky, I scoffed, “Go float yourself.” I stormed out of the tent and went to the only place inside Arkadia where you could blow off steam. The training spot. Bellamy usually overwatches, sometimes with Lincoln so I wouldn’t be surprised if he made his way over here.

Murphy made his way over to me, “Need a partner?” 

I nodded my head and decided to not take my anger out on him–at least not with words. “Yes, but I can’t promise I’ll go easy on you, Murphy.” 

He smiled as he got into his stance, “I didn’t expect you to. I remember seeing you training from time to time with soldiers. I’m going to have to bring my A-game now.” 

I laughed and it made me feel a bit better, say what you want about Murphy–but his sarcasm and wit will always make you laugh. I got into position and Murphy punched towards me and I moved my hand fast enough to push it away and block it. We kept going back and forth, not taking it seriously. 

Soon, as expected Bellamy appeared. He crossed his arms as he analyzed our performances. Suddenly both of us began to take it a bit seriously, but I chose to ignore Bellamy. He knew I was holding back, it showed in Bellamy's face.

“Let me try.”

I ignored him but Murphy stopped fighting, I tried to regain my breath. Murphy was like Bellamy’s sidekick since the beginning, that faded and nobody tried to make an enemy of Bellamy. Like it or not he did run a lot of things we live by. Especially with Clarke gone. 

He got into position and I immediately went to attack. I moved close and elbowed his face causing him to move forward. I went straight for a kick to his bent knee and easily got him down. When getting up his hand stayed on my thigh as he rised up, it was like he was purposefully trying to mess me up. That could be the only reason.

“Damn Bell, maybe she should replace you as a trainer,” Octavia said while spectating. Monty and Jasper laughed. 

Bellamy stood up and hit me immediately in the gut. From the force, I took a couple of steps back, and I cursed under my breath. He shrugged with a grin forming on his lips. When he went to pull another move I grabbed his arm pointed it up, and used my left arm to push down on his arm. I twisted his shoulder and I knew I was causing pain. I had this move done to me and I was in pain for a couple of days. 

For a split second, I heard a groan from him, it almost put a smile on my face. “C’mon Blake, are you even trying? If you lose this–I can only assume where you’re going to go to…or who.” Maybe it was a low blow but he pissed me off before. 

My fist came towards him and he grabbed my arm tightly, almost hard enough to leave a bruise, and flipped me onto the ground. I tried not to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was hanging onto this fight by a thread. I kicked his stomach and he caught my leg and tried to make me fall but I did the one trick that took me years to master–I kicked with enough force off the ground for a second to gain a stance to be able to kick him back. 

Bellamy went to hit me in the face but I got to him first and elbowed him. He spit out blood and turned his head up with a grin as he wiped the blood. He tricked me and by making it seem like he was going for a low attack, I didn’t move up in time to block him and he punched me. My lip began to bleed. 

“Guys, I think you should stop now. You proved you both can fight–now stop,” Octavia warned. 

We ignored her warning and kept going. I was determined to beat him, and I didn’t have a real reason why. Part of me wondered if this was my only source of letting my emotions go, maybe I wasn’t that different from that man that I hated. We are both stubborn, witted, determined, quick-tempered, reckless, and aggressive. 

“One hit and we’re done,” he said. “Better make yours count, princess,” he whispered. The way he made it seem, that nickname was for our ears only. He never said it loud enough for others to hear and I almost preferred it that way. And when he did, he was only focused on me. As if nobody else was on the earth with us. 

My thoughts were distracted and he immediately brought me down. My back hit the ground and I winced in pain, my back arched a bit hoping that would help the pain. Before anyone could help, Bellamy quickly moved to my side. “Are you okay,” he asked almost frantically in a low voice. He sounded genuine.

The gaze I had on him changed, it softened even though I was in pain. I was utterly confused. “What are we doing,” I whispered, his back covering everyone’s view of my lips. At best, they’d hear mumbles. 

“Your solution to letting your emotions out, remember?” He lightly laughed, “Fuck, we’re idiots.” Bellamy brushed his thumb on my bottom lip, “Truce?” 

My brow almost furrowed, “Truce? Does that mean we suddenly don’t hate each other?”

He laughed and began to help me up, “No, definitely not. You’re still the bane of my being.”

I stood up and got my words out fast enough before everyone crowded me to see if I needed Abby, “And you’re still the only person I hate in this world.” 

Bellamy slowly backed away as we kept our eyes on each other, everyone kept asking if I was okay but I didn’t reply. I was too fixated on the man I detested. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” I said while brushing past them. The one person who got horrendously hurt was Bellamy, yet he didn’t complain or stop them from helping me. 

“I’ll help you to, Abby,” I said putting his arm around my shoulder which felt oddly–right. When I looked back to show Octavia I was going to help him, I just saw a group of disbelieving faces. I’d be shocked too, never would I have ever felt pity or thought of helping Bellamy. “I kicked your ass.” 

He laughed as if he didn’t have drops of blood on his shirt, “I’d call it a fair fight.” 

“I’d call it my win.” 

He glanced at my lips then my eyes, we came to a halt. “You want to finish this?” 

I could feel his hand brushing along my neck, “I think we’re probably banned from training together for a bit. Though I think that wasn’t a training session–that was fighting.” 

Bellamy’s gaze dropped, he stared at me, almost desperate as if he was yearning for something he never even got to get ahold of for years. His touch became more apparent, he stared at my lips as he talked. “I’m not talking about in the training spot.” 

My lips parted and suddenly every feeling I had for him disappeared. Only one stayed- the desire I clung to. Instead of going to Abby, Bellamy and I went into his tent.

It was as if both our strengths had been regain, like we were both pushing our limits to be ignoring our pain to mix it with pleasure. Bellamy took his shirt off with such poise and it made me roll my eyes. I started undressing myself also. My eyes lingered on his chest, God, he was so defined. Like a Greek god or a statue made out of generosity.

"My eyes are up here, princess," he said as he pushes me down onto his bed.

I didn't like how much I secretly enjoyed him calling me princess. "You're so full of it, Blake."

He kissed me roughly, as if we didn't have time to spare to be kind to one another. Our hate lingered and I loved it. I winced in pain because of my lip and that caused him to groan into my mouth. He was making it harder and harder for me to not rush this.

I switched spots with Bellamy, God forbid he lets me control one thing. I kissed down his neck being anything but gentle to the parts I knew he was going to have a bruise at tomorrow.

"Fuck," he whispered.

My hands traveled down his chest and before I could do anything he traded spots with me. "Watch yourself princess, if you keep going- I don't think I can stop myself."

"I don't want you to."

Bellamy used his knee to spread apart my legs. He put his hand around my neck and slowly pushed down so I’d be lying flat on my back. I felt my stomach growing butterflies. “I will be anything but gentle with you–” He paused and stared at my lips. “But I think you can take it.”

[cosmicdream222]

What is “the state of wish fulfilled” or “feeling the wish fulfilled”?

(Explained in my own words cuz states tumblr is a shitshow)

When I was in HS, I was obsessed with Japan and wanted to visit, and eventually move there.

My dream life = living in Japan, doing the things I wanted to do

My life at the time = living in America, not being able to do the things I wanted to do

Was I sitting around feeling sorry for myself and whining “boo hoo poor me, I wish I was in Japan. Why did I have to be born here? It’s not fair I’m missing out on so much.” HELL NO!! That = the state of lack

Instead, I was excited. I didn’t see going to Japan as such a big deal, it’s not like I wanted to go to outer space! All I had to do was save up some money and buy a plane ticket. It was totally realistic in my mind, why couldn’t I do it?

Sure I wasn’t there now, but I KNEW I could go there eventually. So I spent my time studying & practicing Japanese, enjoying my hobbies from afar, researching & planning my future visits. That = the state of wish fulfilled.

(And yes, I did end up visiting many times and eventually lived there for 5 years.)

Here’s another scenario:

Imagine right now that you won the lottery for an extremely large amount of money - let’s say 1 billion dollars. You have the winning ticket in your hand and you’re at the lotto office right now. They tell you it’s gonna be a few weeks of processing and paperwork before you actually receive the money, but it is yours. It is done.

It doesn’t matter if you’re currently broke, in debt, hate your job, hate your living situation or have any other unfortunate circumstances. In a few weeks, you will have more money than you will ever be able to spend. You will never have to work again. You will never have to worry about money again.

You might not currently know what it “feels like” to be a billionaire, but you know that your current circumstances don’t matter anymore because everything is gonna change soon.

Now, if you are reading this, you have learned about loa/void/shifting - and that is even better than any lottery you could ever win. You found out the truth, my dudes! Reality is an illusion and you can have anything you want. ANYTHING anything, not just materialistic earth things!

Yes we have been programmed with opposite beliefs our whole lives. It might be hard to wrap your head around at first. It might be hard to let go of all the victim-based thinking that society encourages. It might take a week or a month or longer to manifest your desires - but does it matter? Time is an illusion, and you WILL succeed eventually. You didn’t find out about the truth only to fail.

Sitting around on tumblr scrolling for more methods, asking every blogger the same questions, complaining that you don’t have your desires yet = the state of lack

Knowing that you WILL have your desires NO MATTER WHAT and not letting your current circumstances affect you = the state of wish fulfilled.

Have patience and persist! I have faith in you, so have a little faith in yourselves! ILY all and want you to live your best life ❤️

[sweetlyskz]

Strange||Chapter Three

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲!𝐨𝐭𝟕 × 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐉𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬)

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐱 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯||𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭||𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭

PLEASE READ: I can't lie... It took me a minute to figure out where I wanted to go with this story- I CRIED! I hate that it took me so long to get this to you guys :(... Hopefully the updates will be a little more consistent. ALSO I did revamp the banner a bit- the other one just doesn't fit the direction I’m about to take with this fic so BE READY!

thanks for all the love <3

UNEDITED

Not once, did it ever occur to you to do a DNA test. You grew up in an orphanage, so obviously you didn’t really know your parents. Honestly, you had no reason to know them, to know if they're dead or alive. You had Jin. And when he left, you had Jae. That was enough for you.

But now knowing that your father was out there, and that he knew Jin, made you curious. You weren’t really curious about your father, more so your mother. But, how did he know Jin? Phone tapping? Listening to your private conversations? Is that something that your potential father is capable of?

After ending the phone conversation with Jin, you both agreed to meet at a discrete location. He didn’t have to say the usual spot, you already knew.

A tree behind the orphanage, now old and abandoned. Someone could’ve spotted you from a mile away, but you didn’t care. It’s not like you were famous or anything. Unlike Jin, who showed up in a black zip up hoodie with a mask. He looked like he was about to rob someone.

“Dude, you look like you’re gonna steal my purse or something”, you teased. “We’re literally meeting behind an abandoned building. I don’t think anyone is here.”

“You never know, especially with your dad.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth about this whole dad thing? This could just be another lie you’re spinning to get me to forgive you.”

He sighed. “At this point, I have no reason to lie. And this is serious, Ynie.”

You climbed your way up the old oak tree, sitting on one of the limbs. “Where is he? Do you know? He shook his head.

“No, and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you”, Jin snarked. “He is dangerous, deadly.”

“I don’t care, Jin. He’s my father. You can’t protect me from this one.”

He climbed up the tree also, claiming a spot next to you on the limb. He laid his head on your shoulder as you sat in silence.

Just like old times.

“You still lied to me. Don’t expect me to forgive you that easily”, you reminded him. Yes, hearing about your father puts things in a different perspective, but the principle still stands. His loyalties should lie with you, not your potential father.

“I’m really sorry”, he apologized. “And I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done, but I really hope we can try to move past this, together. I’m not saying that things have to go back to the way they used to be. You’re an adult now, so you don’t need me to look after you anymore. But maybe we can start over? Clean the slate?”

You smiled, on the brink of tears. “Maybe. I have missed my best friend a little.”

“A little?” Jin teased. “I know it didn’t seem like it, but there was never a single day I wasn’t thinking about you, missing you.”

His hand reached your cheek, wiping away the tears. God, memories were a bitch. All you can think about is old times, but the good times, not the bad ones.

“You know we’re gonna have to tell them, right?” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “They’ll get suspicious if we’re suddenly the best of friends.”

You nodded. “I’ll tell them, don’t worry.” You both agreed it was better if you sat down and told his boyfriends the truth. Jin doesn’t always have a way with words, especially when their eyes pierced through his skull like daggers.

“I want to meet him, Jinnie”, you whispered. “I want to meet my father.”

The next week went smoothly. You and Jin began to reacclimate to being in each other's presence. The bangtan meetings were more productive, considering you actually showed up this time. The beginning was a little rocky, though.

“Well, look who decided to show up?” The leader complained. “You missed– I don't know— about three meetings!”

“I’m really sorry”, you apologized, giving a formal 90 degree bow. Jin laughed at your teasing.

“This is the last meeting before we start promotions. I couldn’t miss this.”

You all discussed the boring partnership mumbo jumbo. You didn’t really pay attention half the time. You mostly texted Jin, in need of a distraction. 

“Anything else to add Miss Kim?” Their advisors asked you.

“Yes actually”, you replied. “But it’s actually more of a private matter. Could I ask you all to step outside for a quick second? Everyone except Bangtan, of course.”

The manager gave you a quick glare before obeying your orders, grabbing their belongings and walking out of the office.

“Is she about to murder us?” Tae jumped up out of his chair, making his way to the door. “I’m too young to die!”

Jin rolled his eyes. “Yah! Would you stop being so dramatic and get back in your seat?”

You laughed. “I promise, I have no ulterior motives. I just want to apologize.”

You could tell that obviously wasn’t what they were expecting. They looked at each other, all wondering why they weren’t being chewed out by you for being a bunch of dickheads.

“I realize that everything that happened wasn’t expected, and I never meant to uproot anyone’s life. To be honest, I didn’t even know who you guys were before this partnership— well besides Jin. And the reason Jin was keeping secrets is because I told him to. But I want to be the one to tell you everything.”

The room went silent. It was like everyone was on the edge of their seats, like a movie hitting the climax.

“Ynie, you don’t have to do this right now”,  Jin assured you. “We can do this later, maybe when we’re all more comfortable with each other.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I need to do this now, or I’ll never do it. If I’m gonna ask for your help, you need to know the full story.”

“Help with what?” Joon questioned. “What do you need us for?”

“I need help finding my father.”

It was a silent ride back home for the boys. With everything going on in their heads, after everything you had told them, it was hard not to ponder over it.

Even when they got back to the dorms, it was quiet. Jimin couldn’t help but beat himself up over his last actions, the way he first treated you. Looking at it from his point of view, you could see why he acted the way he did. But he still felt foolish for thinking that a person like you would be out to get him, to take what’s his. They all sat in the living room, stuck in their heads.

“We need to talk about this”, Jungkook said, breaking the silence.

“You’re right”, Hoseok agreed. “I think we should help her. Good karma, you know?”

Jin shook his head. “You don’t understand. I’ve met him before. He is dangerous. I don’t want him anywhere near her.”

“Okay, but that’s not your decision to make, Jin”, Yoongi argued with his arms crossed. “As a good friend, you need to just support her decisions and help her when she makes mistakes. You can’t make decisions for her.”

Joon agreed. “Yoon is right. Keep her from this and you might lose her entirely... again.”

“Then what do I do?” Jin asked desperately. “Just let her get hurt?”

Jimin consoled his exasperated boyfriend, lighting massaging his shoulders. “Yes, and be there for her when it happens-if it happens.”

All of those years he spent protecting you, raising you. To be honest, he missed it. But you’re not a little girl anymore. You're a grown woman, capable of making your own decisions. And he is a grown man, responsible and mature.

“Okay”, Jin agreed. “Let’s help find her father.”

“Are you seriously gonna hang out with the same people that hated you like two days ago?”

You were getting ready to have lunch with the boys. You invited Jae to come along, wanting an icebreaker in case things are still awkward. He was helping you get ready in your lovely walk-in closet.

“We are all mature adults, Jae. Get over—”

“And let me also remind you, that Jimin guy embarrassed you in front of millions of people! They're all a bunch of dicks.”

“My favorite”, you teased. He threw an old t-shirt at you.

“You have the humor of a teenage boy.” Jae picked a shirt hanging up in your closet, handing it to you.

“That one, so we can match!”

“Like a couple?” You asked sarcastically. “How cute!”

He snatched the shirt back. “Never mind. Jin probably wouldn’t want us to match anyway.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why would he care what I wear?”

“Because he’s totally crushing on you, him and his boyfriends— maybe not Jimin though.”

"You're delusional", you scoffed. "There's seven people in that relationship. I bet they're not looking for anymore."

"Whatever you say... But that Namjoon guy was definitely checking you out at the awards show."

Another shirt was thrown across the closet, and with that drawer of socks, but even after the conversation ended you wondered…

Was what Jae said true?

Taglist (if @ is purple I can’t tag you :()

@scuzmunkie @moon-cupcakes @quillan-pie @uarmyhore @xjiminsthighsx @dreamamubarak @exfolitae @snookerbooker @bex-tk1 @prettybitxc @frieschan @whipwhoops @lulu-83 @minaaathings @demarie04 @svnbangtansworld @juju-227592 @bangtantxts @blancflms @girl-nahh @kameko-ko @cutiethecupcake @worcesheshestershiresauce @irishhbamb

Lmk if I forgot to add you or you would like to be added <3

[hqbaby]

sixteen — this is real

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.5k content. swearing, pretty tame tbh

him: wanna come over tonight?

y/n the love of my life: sorry!! got plans

Suna can’t help the frown that takes over his features as he stares at your message. It’s not a big deal. You’ve turned him down before, this isn’t anything special. In fact, this is completely normal. Did he really expect you to drop everything going on in your life for him? Of course not.

Logic doesn’t stop it from bothering him though. The truth is that he hasn’t been alone with you since you left him that one night. Sure, he sees you around friends but you never really talk because you’re not supposed to be this close. Sure, it’s only been four days since that night but still. It unsettles him, it makes him feel like he doesn’t know where the two of you stand.

“Sorry, Bo, I got plans with Y/N tonight.”

Suna’s head shoots up to find Atsumu grinning at their teammate. What?

Bokuto waves it off. “No biggie, bro!” he says. “Say hi to her for me.”

“Will do.” Atsumu closes his locker and turns to look at Suna. “Ya good, man?”

So he’s your “plans,” Suna thinks. It makes him want to hurl. He hates it.

“Yeah,” he manages to say, already sprinting out of the locker room. “I’m fine.”

He’s not fine. He feels like he’s burning from inside out at the thought of you ditching him for Atsumu. Fucking Atsumu. Don’t you know that he used to cry after science exams? That he had to take his driving test four times? That he and Osamu once spent an entire week finishing a 10,000 piece puzzle while everyone else thought they had died?

Suna slams his head on his steering wheel. It doesn’t matter if you know any of that. All that matters is that you’re choosing Atsumu. Instead of him.

He pulls his phone out and starts typing a message to some girl who gave him her number at a party. She wouldn’t say no to him. He knows she wouldn’t. And that’s why he can’t bring himself to send the message, why he throws his phone on the passenger seat and drives back home instead of doing anything stupid.

Kiyoko reaches her leg out and pokes you with her toe. “What’s up with you?”

You glance up from the lab report you’re working on, bemused. “With me?” you ask. “Not much, dude. What about you?”

She gives you a knowing look. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Am not!”

“You’re withholding gossip!” she accuses, grinning as she points a finger at you. “Come on! I need to know what’s going on!”

You put your laptop away. “Nothing’s going on!” you tell her, but there’s a smile in your voice that says otherwise. “Well, nothing too crazy at least.”

“Tell me!”

You start laughing as your roommate hops onto your bed, grabbing one of your pillows while she looks at you eagerly. “It’s really nothing,” you say. “‘Tsumu just kinda sorta… asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes, you are,” she says. “Because if he actually did that, you wouldn’t be seeing him tonight.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you said no to him. You’re nice, you don’t string guys along after you turn them down.”

You stare at her. She stares at you. You stare at her. She cocks her head to the side. You give a small nod.

“Holy shit!” she exclaims. “You said yes?!”

“Not yet!”

“Yet?!”

You’re laughing as she tries to tackle you. “Dude, chill!” you say. “We don’t know what’s gonna happen!”

She shakes her head, hands on your shoulders as she rattles you around. “You have to tell me,” she says, leaning close enough to make her already-wide eyes look wider, “do you love him?”

“I don’t know!” you say, pushing her away.

You furrow your brows at the words that fall out of your mouth. You were supposed to say no. Why didn’t you say no?

“You don’t know?”

“Are you using me as an excuse to avoid your homework?” you ask in an attempt to change the subject.

“Doesn’t matter!” she says. “Wait. What about Suna?”

You wince. 

The truth is that you don’t know what’s going to happen with Suna. You’ve been avoiding him ever since the night that you decided not to stay over. You still see him when you hang out with his friends and go visit his team, but you never talk to him, sticking to your usual polite-but-not-close relationship in public.

It’s been eating you alive and you don’t really know why. You’re going to have to talk to him eventually, about Atsumu, about everything. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but for some reason, it feels like it is. Why?

“If I say yes to Atsumu,” you say carefully, “I guess things with Rin will be over.”

It hits you as soon as you say it.

Over.

It seems so final, so unnecessary. Surely, there’s a better way to do this. This can’t be it.

Kiyoko looks thoughtful, like she’s considering her words very carefully. Then, she asks, “How do you feel about that? You know, ending things with Suna.”

You shrug. This time you know you mean it when you say, “I don’t know.”

You’re sitting in Atsumu’s car with your head leaned against the window. You haven’t planned anything special tonight, just eating take-out and driving around. Normally, you’d be talking each other’s ears off, but you can’t seem to focus right now.

Ever since your talk with Kiyoko that afternoon, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about Suna. It bugs you more than you know it should and that only makes it worse.

“Yer quiet tonight,” Atsumu says. His voice isn’t accusatory or harsh, like he’s just making an observation. “Somethin’ botherin’ ya?”

You chew your bottom lip and fiddle with the straw of your drink. “Yeah. Just a little.”

He hums. “Do ya wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know if I can,” you tell him quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothin’ to apologize for,” Atsumu says, glancing over to give you a reassuring smile. He finds a spot near the lake on campus and parks nearby. “We can talk about anythin’ ya want. Or not. We can just sit here and eat. That’s okay too.”

He turns the engine off and rolls the windows down, the autumn air drifting in. There are a few other people in the area, groups of friends daring each other to dive into the lake and couples talking or getting into arguments. It’s a night like any other and, as you sit there eating and listening to the playlist you and Atsumu put together, you know you wouldn’t mind spending more of your time like this.

“Have you ever had to let something go?”

The question just falls out of you. It fills the gaps in the air like it was always meant to be there. Like it was something you were always meant to ask.

“Anythin’ in particular?” he asks, taking a sip of his drink.

You look out the window and see a girl, soaked to the bone, walk out of the lake before chasing after her friends. 

“A person,” you say, “after you realized that you wanted different things.”

“Yer not talkin’ ‘bout me are ya?” His tone is teasing.

You shake your head and smile at him. “No.”

You catch the way he looks at you. His gaze is soft and warm and kind. It makes you feel like you’re all that matters to him at this moment. Like the rest of the world is just static. 

The only other person who ever looked at you that way was Suna and he only noticed when he was inside you in one way or another.

It feels different when Atsumu does it. It makes you feel like you matter just by existing.

“So,” you say, trying to stop yourself from focusing too much on the look on his face, “have you ever had to let someone go?”

He considers your question for a moment. “I have,” he tells you. “‘Samu actually.”

That catches you off-guard. The twins are absolutely inseparable, as far as you know. “‘Samu?”

“Yeah.” He nods, getting into it now. “In highschool I thought that we were gonna do volleyball together forever. I couldn’t imagine a world where I’d have to go at it without ‘im, but that’s what happened.

“I was so mad.” He chuckles, clearly recalling a fond—or maybe not so fond—memory. “We got in a big fight and… it wasn’t pretty.”

You nod along, the story distracting you from any thoughts of Suna. “What happened?”

Atsumu sighs. “I had to get used to it,” he tells you. “We had different dreams and it wasn’t right that I pushed mine on ‘im. It wasn’t ‘Samu’s job to change and I wasn’t bein’ fair to either of us by thinking he would.”

He offers you a smile, all boyish and a little shy. He knows the vulnerability should irk him, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when he’s talking to you. Not when you’re looking at him all nice and understanding and so fucking gorgeous.

You lean over the console and kiss him. It’s short and sweet but it means everything to the two of you.This is real, you tell yourself. You don’t know much else but you know that this—you and Atsumu and all the little spaces in between, this—is as real as you’re going to get.

notes. THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM *mic drops and runs for the hills*

[yayeetsonny]

One can only take so much… before they break

(Alex Morgan X OC)

Hi, yes i know i’ve been away for a very long time, but I wanted to give this writing thing another shot to see if I still had anything left in the tank. Hopefully this isn’t the most dreadful thing you’ve ever read. So sorry if it is. Please be advised this one deals with some very strong emotions and topics. Implied mental abuse, Suicidal ideation and just overall sadness and anxiety. This will be a multi parter as my fingers got away from me lol.

This one is 99% Alex x OC, although the character’s name is never dropped as I wasn’t sure if I was going to make this an x reader fic or not. If anyone has any name suggestions at the end I’m all ears. And future parts will definitely be more USWNT x OC

3.4k Words

Everything is your fault. It always is. Why can’t you do anything right?! It all fell apart because of you! You know that, and so do they. They hate you for it. Your own mother won’t even talk to you.

“Hey, kid… Kid?…Dude!” I was so lost in thought I didn’t even hear one of my teammates calling out to me.

“Huh? What?” I looked up to see Alex looking down at me worriedly.

“Are you okay little duck?” She said squatting down so she was eye level with me. She put her hand on my cheek rubbing it softly raising an eyebrow when i didn’t say anything immediately.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I said softly, making a poor attempt at a smile but I’m fairly certain it came across as a grimace instead. I looked down and refused to look back up even though I could feel Alex trying to get me to look at her.

“Hey… what is it?” She said moving her head so she could look into my eyes, which at this point were watering and I was doing my very best to force the tears away.

“I-It’s nothing… I-I’m fine.” I said, my voice breaking. I brought my hand up to rub my eyes and I stood up and tried to make a quick get away, but Alex wasn’t having it.

“Stop, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders to try and stop me from leaving but I pushed her off and started to walk away.

“I said I’m fine, just drop it Alex. Please.” I gave up trying to stop the tears, they were freely flowing now and i let out a sob as I broke into a full sprint when I heard her starting to follow me, calling out to me. I ran passed several of our fellow national team, teammates who were watching everything unfold.

I beat her to the locker room, grabbed my stuff and made a mad dash to my car, getting in and attempting to regulate my breathing. The tears were still coming in full force, sobs racked my body as I tried and failed to calm myself down. How pathetic is this? Crying like a big baby, because your mommy made you sad? I really am weak aren’t I? No that’s not true. The girls always tell me I’m strong and that I’m their brave big girl. Yeah it’s a bit baby-ish but it gets the point across. I wrestled with my own thoughts and was so engrossed in arguing with myself that i didn’t even realize I made it back to my apartment already. I also didn’t hear my phone ringing incessantly while I drove. I hesitated a bit seeing as it was Alex, probably trying to figure out where i went. It almost went to voicemail before i decided to answer.

“Hello” my voice was raw from all the crying I did, but I sounded more tired than distraught now.

“Baby, where did you go? What happened back there? Why did you run away? Please talk to me. I’m worried about you.” She said all in one breath, I bit my lip contemplating my answer. Then i took a deep breath and decided to just bite the bullet and be at least partially truthful.

“I… um, I was going thru a-a lot during the break between camps, I mean I guess I still am going thru a lot right now, given my very apparent meltdown earlier. I-I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t do it again, I swear.” My damn voice started breaking again as the tears started back up.

“Hey, hey, hey… little one, please breathe, you’re okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. Take deep, slow breaths, in and out.” she said gently, guiding me thru some breathing exercises until my breathing was less erratic. “Can you tell me where you are please? I’m going to come get you and we’ll talk this through and maybe we can order a pizza and watch movies, what do you say?” She asked, I could tell she was trying to remain calm but I could hear her voice quiver just slightly. She was scared, and rightfully so, this isn’t the first time I’d run off and usually when i did, I became self destructive at worst and let myself rot in bed for a week at best.

“I’m at the apartment.” I said and she let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Okay good. I’m on my way, be there in 10. Stay there, please.”

I took one last deep breath before I got out of the car and made my way inside. I intended to sit on the couch and wait for her to get home but then the more i thought about having to talk to Alex about what’s been going on the more anxious i became. I started pacing and started mumbling to myself about what i was going to say and how I was going to say it. I wanted to let Alex in but I knew if I wasn’t careful I would let her in too much and I wasn’t ready for that. Being 17 and all my ability to regulate my emotions and understand them wasn’t the best as I’m sure you’ve already figured out.

10 minutes went by quickly and Alex was there before i knew it. She quickly made her way inside and dropped her bag by the door, coming up to me and taking me by the shoulders again to get me to stop pacing.

“Stop, please. You’re spiraling, what’s going on?”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what? Is it your family? Soccer?”

“Family.” I mumbled, attempting to yank myself out of her grasp but she just wrapped her arms around my torso tightly so i couldn’t run away. “Let go Alex I can’t do this. Please let go.” I kept fighting against her hold but she wasn’t relenting, and while i would’ve denied it in the moment, I needed that.

“Shh, shh bub, just relax. I’ve got you. I’m here now it’s all gonna be okay, okay? I promise. Please just let me help you.” She said softly and I finally just allowed her to fully pull me against her chest, she relaxed her grip just slightly moving one of her hands to the back of my head, stroking my hair softly, resting her chin on the top of my head. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” She whispered, and she continued to mumble reassurances to me as she rocked me in her arms slightly.

“Do we have to talk about this?” I mumbled.

“Yeah kid unfortunately we do. You know the rules when you decide to run away like you did earlier.” She kissed my head before picking me up with ease and moving us to the couch. She kept her hold on me and let me curl up into her lap, I tucked my head in the crook of her neck.

“I don’t want to.” I attempted to say firmly but it came out as a whine.

“Remember what I said? It’ll all be okay. I know this is scary but I’m not going anywhere and anything you tell me isn’t going to scare me away. I promise you. You’re my brave big girl, hmm?”

“I’m 17, you know?” I said in an attempt to seem tough.

“And that’s why i said you’re a big girl. But you’re still the baby on the team and little one to me.” She said chuckling softly. “You can do this.” she said after a moment rubbing my arm gently.

“I can do this.” I repeated to myself. I moved myself out of the safety of Alex’s arms slightly, putting some distance between us and turning to fully face her, steeling myself for the tough conversation ahead. I’m a very sensitive and emotional person so these conversations always make me cry no matter how much I try to stop it.

Do you want me to call the rest of the girls? Is this something they should know about too?”

“Too many people. Not ready, I think it’s better if I tell you everything first and then maybe only tell them the gist of it after.”

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. So you know how in between camps and during off season I go home to be with my family? Well I went and everything fell apart, and it’s all my fault. Just like everything always is.”

“Hey, no don’t say that.” She cut me off, she hates when i am self deprecating.

“Its true though. I fucked everything up. You know how my brother and I work at the same place right? Well and you know how my shift is closing? So I work 1-10pm? Which my mom hates.” She nodded her head as I was talking to let me know she was following along. “Well one night it was bad… The weather was horrendous because in my hometown we get a lot of snow. A-and so one of the days I worked I was one of the f-few people to show up and, when everything was all said and done there was a huge mess left behind from the disaster of a day we had….” I was beginning to become emotional just thinking about what had happened that night, and i hated that it still made me feel such strong emotions.

“It’s okay, do you want to keep going?” Alex asked me softly, stroking the back of my head softly. she knew sometimes that talking about things was hard for me and that i needed to take breaks in order to get the whole story out.

“Yes i need to. I can do it.” I said determinedly. Blinking away the tears.

“Anyways, it was a mess and being a “Back up Team lead” sometimes i made a decision to send everyone else home and clean up. And since my brother worked on overnights I called him and asked him to come help me clean up so that i could go home at a semi-reasonable time. He came over to help but when they wanted to send him back to his normal area he refused and he s-started arguing with his boss about how he was going to choose family over his job at the moment and they d-didn’t like that so they sent him home for the night, and he didn’t have a car so he called my mom to pick him up…” I stopped to catch my breath as i realize I hadn’t been breathing

“Shh, easy baby, nice, slow deep breaths, you’re doing so good.” She said. I hadn’t been looking at Alex very much this whole time but when I finally did I could see unshed tears in her eyes. I knew it was hard for her any time i was upset or emotional in a negative way. She gently wiped away the tears that made their way down my cheeks.

“My mom came to get him, and then she called me, and she was angry, she demanded I come home so I did and when I got there she told me she had a lot of opinions about what happened but she was just going to keep her mouth shut. She told me to get out of her sight so I did. She wouldn’t even look at me. Just like that I was transported back to when I was a little kid and she would get angry and she would just tell me she didn’t want to look at me. It felt like a knife to the chest. I didn’t understand what i did to upset her so much and I knew she wouldn’t tell me. All part of her “healing process.” I said bitterly.

“Fast forward to the next morning, I woke up to the news my brother had been fired. I called him to apologize and I asked him what our mom said to him and he said that she blames me for him getting fired. She said I should have known better. I knew how much he needed that job.” My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as I played with the strings of my hoodie.

“That wasn’t your fault, you have to know that.”

“Yes it was. It is. He hasn’t found a job since and he-he’s struggling again. You remember what happened last time he was struggling don’t you? I can’t do that again, I can’t! Everything he does, every decision he makes that’s not good is my fault. My mom wants me to be “an example” for him but he’s older! How fucking twisted is that?! Why are things never his fault?!” I yelled standing up suddenly startling Alex.

“Okay, okay let’s take a break hmm?” Alex stood up holding up her hands to show me she meant no harm.

“No! You don’t get it! Everything is my fault! My own mother thinks so! I know he’s struggling but can’t she see I’m struggling too?! ” I threw a plastic cup that was on the table across the room.

“Stop. Now. We don’t throw things when we’re upset, do you understand?” Alex said sternly.

My lip wobbled as I started crying again. “I’ve spent the last 4 years trying my very best to hold my family together through everything we’ve been thru. I got my brother the job working where i do and now I’m the reason he lost it. And now he and his girlfriend risk being homeless because she doesn’t have a job either. And if they lose their apartment they move back home with my mom, which means I’ll probably have to move back to be there with her because I can’t just leave her there by herself with them. It wouldn’t be fair. Which in turn means I’ll have to put my life on hold. The life I finally made for myself.”

I’m so tired of being emotional exhausted. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t even want to be alive anymore.”

“Woah, hold on… what do you mean by that?” Alex’s eyes widened as she processed what i said.

“I mean what I just said I don’t want to be alive anymore okay? I want the pain to stop. I need it to stop.”

The silence that followed was long and tense. I immediately regretted saying what i said. But realized i couldn’t walk it back. Alex finally took a deep breath and began speaking again.

“How long have you been feeling this way? Do you- Do you have a plan?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking as she did.

“No I don’t have a plan, I just sometimes think about how much easier it would be if I wasn’t here anymore. And sometimes I think about hurting myself but i haven’t acted on it. And i’ve been feeling this way since last year, when my mom and i got into that big blowout fight at Thanksgiving. You know she didn’t even want me moving out here? She’s never really let that fight go.” I laughed hollowly.

“Thank you for telling me, and being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy. Why didn’t your mom want you to move out here?”

“She thinks you and the girls have too much of an influence over me. She thinks you guys are “changing” me. She threatened to force me to quit playing soccer all together.”

“What? Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Didn’t seem relevant?! How’s that? If i had known that I would’ve just had you move out here permanently!”

“Alex…”

“No I’m serious! I understand you’re still 17 but you’re out of high school and you should be able to decide your own path.

“I’ve been trying, but the situation with my brother gives her more reason to say i should just quit playing.

Alex goes quietly again and I can tell she’s thinking. I can tell she’s angry. She has never really liked my mom and visa versa, their relationship is courteous at best.

“I think sometimes you forget that you’re still a kid. I know that you have had a lot put on your shoulders and that a lot is expected of you, but your brothers choices that night are not your fault and I’m sorry he’s having a hard time and he might have to move back home, which yes will be hard for your mom but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up your life for them. They will be okay. I promise you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes i do, you wanna know how I know?” She said and I nodded meekly.

“I know because your brother is strong, and so is your mom. And while i’ve never met her I’m sure his girlfriend is too. You don’t have to hold anyone else up but yourself. Not anymore. Their emotions and their… predicaments are not yours to try and fix. i don’t want you going home for a while okay? It’s clear that it’s taking a toll on you and to be frank, This is your home. Here with me, With the other girls. We have you okay? And we will never leave you. Ever.”

I turned away from her and tried to calm myself completely. I was so over all the crying and I bet you are too.

“You’re probably so sick of me crying.” I said chuckling quietly. Alex Vehemently shook her head and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my head.

“Not at all, you needed to get it out. it’s never good to hold it all in like you did, you know that.”

“I know, I just…”

“Have a hard time letting yourself be vulnerable. I know love. I know. So here’s what we’re going to do. I think writing your thoughts out might help what do you think?”

“Maybe…” i said hesitantly.

“Don’t worry no one else will read it but you. And the only way anyone will ever know anything you write down is if you tell them. And I know you going home for part of the year is to help you be able to pay your half of the rent but don’t worry about it okay? I will cover any excess we have from the missing income okay? I meant it when I said your home was here with me.”

“Alex you don’t have to-….”

“Yes i do. You’re very important to me, and I care about you and the things you need. And right now you need a bit of a break.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Anything for you kid. Now listen I also want you to really consider talking to a therapist or a mental health professional about how you’ve been feeling okay? I won’t force you but I think you might benefit from it. And please talk to me, or one of the other girls if you feel like hurting yourself. I don’t want you to think you have to go thru that alone okay?”

“Okay i will.” She’s right, it’s probably about time i go to therapy, I’m still hesitant as sharing my feelings and the things i keep inside has never been my strong suit.

“Now, how about you go take a warm shower to calm down a bit more, I’ll order some pizzas and get the girls over here?”

“I’d like that.” I smiled softly and headed upstairs to do as she suggested.

About an hour later I was showered, comfy and sitting on the couch sandwiched between Alex and Christen. A “Chrislex” sandwich if you will. Tobin was on Christen’s left, Mal, Sam, Kristie, Rose and the rest of the team were laying as close to me as they could get and spread out through out the living room. Pizza was also spread out through the room as people shared with one another. We had Moana on as the girls said I could pick and that’s my go to movie. I was so focused on the movie i almost didn’t notice my phone buzzing at my side. I looked at the text that came thru and my heart dropped as I realized who it was from… My mom.

“You need to come home.”

Is all it said. My hands instantly started shaking and I had that panicking feeling rising in my chest again. Alex looked over at me curiously and I forced the fakest smile i could muster onto my face. I’m in deep shit now…

//

To Be Continued…

There will be a part 2 and the rest of the team will be in that one more, promise. Please let me know what you think!

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - eighty-three | honey pot

QuackIsWhack: Everything is set up. Are you recording? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Screen and audio are a go QuackIsWhack: You ready? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Yeah

The Discord ‘Incoming Call’ overlay popped up onto your screen.

QuackIsWhack: Punctual. If I didn’t hate him already, I’d like him 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: lol

You answered. “Hello?”

Silence for a few seconds.

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: This is terrifying 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: My heart is racing, dude QuackIsWhack: Yeah, mine too

“Hello? Are you there?” You asked again.

More silence.

QuackIsWhack: Maybe he’s setting up a voice changer or something? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: idk

“I’m here.”

His voice sounded normal. And it was the voice you remembered hearing when he came to the café to try and talk to you. Your skin crawled.

QuackIsWhack: I was afraid you weren’t going to talk to me

“Oh, there you are. I was afraid you weren’t going to talk to me.”

“Sorry. My computer is old.”

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Wtf does that have to do with anything QuackIsWhack: Bullshit, how is he making all those videos then

“Oh, that sucks… I’m sorry.”

“... It’s okay.”

“So… you kept showing up to my job, huh?”

“... Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you just say it was you?”

“... I don’t know.”

QuackIsWhack: Are you shy?

“Are you shy?”

“I don’t know… maybe.”

“Well… you don’t have to be shy around me. You could have said ‘hi.’”

Silence for a few moments, maybe he was thinking. Wondering why you were being so nice to him. Hopefully he didn’t think about it too hard.

“But… we’re not supposed to know what you look like.”

“Well, yeah-- I kind of felt betrayed…”

QuackIsWhack: TOO FAR QuackIsWhack: It made me sad QuackIsWhack: That you found out

“--you… kind of made me sad.” You tried your best to sound like you were pouting, instead of how furious you actually were. 

“Oh…”

“Like, I don’t know. I guess it just made me sad, is all.”

“I’m sorry.”

QuackIsWhack: THANK HIM

“Thank you… for apologizing.”

“You’re welcome.”

Silence for a few moments.

QuackIsWhack: We need to get him in person

You thought for a few seconds. “So…” 

“Can we still meet? In person?”

“Oh…”

“I apologized.”

QuackIsWhack: God, he’s PATHETIC 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: He’s surprisingly easy

“You’re right, you did apologize.”

“Yeah.”

QuackIsWhack: CRETINOUS LITTLE SHIT

“Yeah… we can meet in person.”

“Can I come to your house?”

QuackIsWhack: UMMM??? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: OH GOD QuackIsWhack: OF COURSE NOT 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: OF COURSE ABSOLUTELY NOT

“Oh, I was thinking we could go out. Like, to the park or on a picnic or something?”

“A park?”

“It’s been so nice outside lately and I spend all my time inside.”

“You have your job.”

You laughed softly. “Where I’m working. I want to, like, go out and have fun.”

“Oh…”

“I mean…”

QuackIsWhack: BE THE BITCH, CAT QuackIsWhack: YOU CAN DO IT

You hated manipulating people, you hated lying; after all the years of abuse from the Terror Triplets in school, how could it be a thing you could possibly like?

But you remembered an Ethics book you had checked out of the library in high school that had a quandry: Many people would agree that lying is bad and that you should always tell the truth - something you agreed with - but if you were presented with an instance where lying would protect someone, or protect you, would that make it okay to lie?

Of COURSE it would. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, and getting the man who’s been stalking you both in your digital life and your real life for months now into a spot where you can get evidence against him so the cops will actually do something?

Dear god, you hated lying.

But this was in the interest of self-preservation. And to think you had finally ended your fake relationship, free from subterfuge for only a brief moment before you were pulled back in…

You were going to lie like a comatose feline after they scarfed down their dinner. 

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH QuackIsWhack: YOU CAN DO IT

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

“What?”

“Mmm… you apologized, but you don’t want me to have fun outside… I don’t think you really care about me.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t.” 

“I do. I do care about you.”

“Then let’s have fun outside.”

“I don’t think we should go outside--”

“See? I told you you don’t.” You pouted.

He sighed. “...Okay.”

“Yay!” You said as happily as you possibly could. “I’ll message you the day and time.”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“Okay.” He sounded happy. Like a schoolboy blushing at the sight of his crush.

“Okay, I have to get ready to stream now. Will you watch me?”

“Ah-- yeah, I’ll watch you.”

“Okay!” You turned up the cuteness. “Baibai!”

“Bye.”

You ended the call.

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: Live Quack Reaction, lol. So anyway, y/n is doing *this* shit now… 

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy • @dinossaurz • @conwunder • @tinyelfperson​ • @anythingrelatingtojinyoung​ •

[begebege28]

JUST MY 2 CENTS

It’s truly amazing how they think and created all those HCs about #that couple. Like if that’s what you want, by all means do so. But to treat it like it’s canon? NO WAY. The way buddies do the same yet we get policed over it??? The way they act like buck is this idiot character who was “saved” by tmmy the talking tree trunk. And how tmmy is this “big protector”. Literally every time i see these takes, i ask myself, are these scenes not airing on my tv?like when they say “he was considerate of bucks feelings" when we know that’s not the case. Otherwise why lead him on during the date? Tmmy was out the moment buck made the “cool chicks” comment. Like why be petty and make the “joke" "Guess you can never have enough closet space. Ain't that the truth, right, Evan?" LIKE YOURSELF were hiding who you were? And here you are almost outing him? Thats your protector? “This is my first date with a dude”. Really tmmy didn’t clock it.. what 30yr says dude?? To lead him on and not tell him until basically opening the car door and immediately after leaving the restaurant you order it? Giving no indication you were done? Or during the date itself? I wonder why we didn’t see the continuation of the date? Reminded me and buck and Natalia first dare. For them to say this man is "so confident” we are yet to see this? In what way is he confident? In his sexuality?Obviously not lol. Well, in his job? If that’s that makes him confident then…… Then they made BUCK apologize because he wasn’t ready to come out to his best friend… The way they sped run the relationship by inviting him to his sisters wedding? I’m Sorry but you JUST CAME OUT. Has it even been 48hrs? This is a fictional show to which they could have made tmmy be a part of the bachelor party or the search rescue. Now that i think of it, what did the bachelor party serve in connection with the rest of the episode? We know they cut 30minutes of the episodes… i wonder what they cut???? Literally they could have made the medal scene be sweet and warm but it’s “enjoy it while it lasts”. REALLY? do we remember how buck wanted to have a medal and what it meant to him? They could have made them at least act like a couple… you wouldn’t even be able to tell they were dating if you didn’t watch the previous episodes. The dinner scene? The “daddy joke”. Like. Do they even care about this relationship. For for the love of god, you are allow to dislike a queer couple and queer character. Stop shielding them. They are allowed the same criticism. It’s not homophobic to hate tmmy or hate the relationship.

Imagine calling Eddie a "straight man" who still has grief over wife… how long has it been? They go on to say "this is why Eddie has to perform on dates" and "he never had to be with anything with Shannon expect himself". "He never had to be anything with Shannon expect himself". Simply where was this? What flashbacks and scenes with Shannon did you watch where Eddie was himself? Was it when he enlisted Shannon without telling her the FIRST TIME? Or was it THE SECOND time. Or was it after Eddie was discharged from the hospital and we got to see their life before Shannon left? Better yet, do you even remember why Shannon left and how he TREATED her. Shannon’s words, i don’t need a PROVIDER. “Eddie now has to realize he is enough. For Chris, for himself and for others". Isn't this bucks coma dream? Him realizing he's enough. Coma buck said to Bobby "I matter here" and Bobby responding with "you haven't learned a damn thing"." They went on to say “The only person we don't see or hear in the coma is Eddie." They continued “it's because buck sees Eddie as a brother. And buck faced off Daniel and himself, Because Daniel is the brother he couldn't save. The brother he never had. Eddie is also the brother he never had yet has saved" the whole point of the dream, was about buck. It was never about anyone else but himself. The dream literally is that. A dream. A life with loving parents/family and one where Daniel lived. This is if buck never had the life he did hence never meeting the 118. That's why Eddie isn't there. It's literally explained. If buck never goes and becomes a firefighter, he never meets Eddie. Buck is the Eddie gets in touch with Carla. Remember the flashback in Eddie begins? His parents basically shaming Eddie and saying "who's gonna watch Christopher while you’re at work". If Eddie never meets buck, he never meets Carla. That's why he's in Texas in the dream. He lost his custody because buck wasn't there, and therefore Eddie never got the help. I can’t with this narrative that “buddie is never going to happen” because for 6 seasons it was “queer buck is never going to happen” and look where we are now. I’m sick and tired of this superiority complex. Like, you’re making bucks bi arc about Timmy instead of buck himself. Oliver admitted bi buck was shot down in s4. He had to wait another 3 seasons for bibuck to happen. Were the same people saying “bi buck will never happen” during those times, now saying buddie will never happen 🫢🫢🫢 if so; that’s fucking crazy and sad. You never cared about buddie and the family that we have been graced with on our screen. The 6 years of content. Let’s not forget, bi buck this season was an afterthought. It was gonna be a continuation of Buck and Natalia. And then when the actress couldn’t come back, it was gonna be Buck and Lucy. And then Tmmy and Eddie. And then FINALLY we got Buck and Tmmy.

[starter-library]

THE RISE AND FALL OF A MIDWEST PRINCESS BY CHAPPELL ROAN LYRIC STARTERS

feel free to change phrasing as you see fit

“I’m so sick of online love”

“Um, can you play a song with a fucking beat?”

“Ladies, you know what I mean and you know what you need”

“She was a playboy, Brigitte Bardot. She showed me things I didn't know”

“She did it right there out on the deck, Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck”

“I just wanna get to know ya guess I didn't quite think it through”

“Fell in love with the thought of you”

“Baby, why don't you come over?”

“Want me to fuck you? Baby, I will 'cause I really want to”

“Well, back at my house I've got a California king. Okay, maybe it's a twin bed And some roommates”

“I heard you like magic I've got a wand and a rabbit”

“Baby, let's get freaky, get kinky, Let's make this bed get squeaky”

“Nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone"

“Cause after midnight I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the club lights”

“I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you don't mind”

“I love a little drama, let's start a bar fight”

“I really want your hands on my body”

“Baby, put your hands up, Be a freak in the club”

“I'd suggest the jazz bar on Mary Ann Street but you'd buy me a drink and we know where that leads”

“I'll meet you for coffee ‘cause if we have wine you'll say that you want me. I know that's a lie”

“If I didn't love you it would be fine”

“I'd rather feel something than nothing at all”

“If I didn't trust you it would be fine”

“We've done this before and I don't need it anymore”

“Let's not do coffee. Let's not even try”

“I've heard so many rumors that I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch”

“I thought you thought of me better”

“It's hard being casual when my favorite bra lives in your dresser”

“I try to be the chill girl but honestly, I'm not”

“Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it, I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry dude you didn’t”

“I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell”

“Never waste a Friday night on a first date"

“And so, I take him to this bar, this man wouldn't dance, He didn't ask a single question, and he was wearing these fugly jeans”

“He doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me”

“I'm through with all these hyper mega bummer boys like you”

“I need a super graphic ultra modern girl like me”

“We're hot, we're drunk”

“Look at her moving, baby, she's the one”

“At every party we're the party, shaking our asses and making out while the world collapses”

“Get up off your feet, get up on that bar”

“I could be the one, or your new addiction”

“I don't want the world, but I'll take this city”

“Call me hot, not pretty”

“Baby, do you like this beat? I made it so you'd dance with me”

“You can take me hot to go”

“I try not to care but it hurts my feelings”

“You don't have to stare, comе here, get with it. No one's touched me there in a damn hot minute”

“Baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me”

“What's it take to get your number?”

“What's it take to bring you home?”

“You coming home with me?”

“If karma's real, hope it's your turn”

“It's hot when you have a meltdown In the front of your house and you're getting kicked out”

“It's hot when you're drinking downtown and you're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth”

“People say I'm jealous, but my kink is watching You ruin your life, You losing your mind”

“People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma”

“Wishing you the best, in the worst way”

“No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater”

“Do you picture me like I picture you?”

“Am I in the frame from your point of view?”

“So, tell me now all your perversions”

“I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you”

“I guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line”

“If you really wanna leave I'll never make you stay”

“Whatever you decide I will understand and it will all be fine”

“And love is a kaleidoscope how it works, I'll never know”

“I know you wanted me to stay but I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA”

“Won't make my mama proud it's gonna cause a scene”

“On the stage in my heels it's where I belong”

“Every night's another reason why I left it all”

“Don't think I've left you all behind”

“I know you're probably busy but I would love to see you”

“I'd love if you knew you were on my mind”

“Boys suck and girls I've never tried and we both know we're getting drunk tonight”

“Touch me, baby, put your lips on mine”

“I know you want it, baby, you can have it”

“If I don't try, then it's my loss”

“Won't you fucking touch me?”

“I just want to touch you”

“I want all of your love”

“Thought I'd be cool in California, I’d make you proud”

“To think I almost had it going but I let you down”

“I fantasize what we would do and how would it taste?”

“Can we drag it out and never quit?”

“Oh my god, you are heaven sent With your dirty mind”

[genrockstar]

complicated

{anthony vaughn X spencer white}

a/n: i’m sorry if this is poorly written. it’s based off the song conplicated by avril lavigne

@aussiellama 🫶🏼

being friends with spencer white was complicated in many ways. anthony knew it all too well. they`ve been best of friends since middle school, they knew any fact and darkest secrets about each other, but anthony was still thinking that spencer was hiding something. he wanted to talk to spencer about it but he never got the chance.

the day anthony met "new spencer", he didnt give it any thought. it was first day of year 11, maybe he was just stressed. ant remembers how changed spencer looked. "dude, what are you wearing?" anthony laughed at spencer as he showed up at vaughn house announced yet again. spencer furrowed his eyebrows and look at his outfit "what do you mean?" "you look all..." anthony raised an eyebrow "...preppy" spencer just scoffed and shook his head. "come on man, we`re gonna be late" spencer walked out of the house, anthony following close behind. they went to school by spencer’s car.

anthony loved mornings, especially because he got to spend time with spencer alone, in his car, talking to each other one-on-one. but he hated the day after that, when spencer was trying to be cool with other people when he looked like a fool to anthony. anthony was frustrated, angry even. he stopped talking to spencer, he started ignoring him. which led to this day.

spencer avoided being alone with anthony after the incest map got leaked. sure he talked with him while being with dusty or anymore else but when everyone left and they were alone, spencer would make up some lame excuse and would run off. he focused more and more about basketball and making new "friends" while anthony watched him in frustration.

“i just don’t get it man, why are you ignoring me all if a sudden?” spencer asked anthony as he entered his room. “did i do something?”

“i’m not ignoring you” anthony said quietly as he sat back on his bed

“you’re not talking to me, or even looking my way. why?”

“because you’re acting like you’re somebody else okay? what’s wrong spencer? you’re always watching your back like you can’t relax man” anthony sighed deeply

“what do you mean?” spencer knew what ant meant. he was just keeping his cool, trying not to drop his facade

“you’ve changed spencer, you’re making everything seem so complicated, so tell me, what’s wrong with you?”

spencer was taken aback by ant’s words. he sat down quietly next to him and fidgeted with his pants.

“i’m tryna… i don’t know” Spencer looked at the floor. ant sat up, turning towards spencer.

“you’re still lying”

“i just can’t say it okay?”

“why not? just say it, i’ll understand no matter what i promise” anthony didn’t think spencer would actually say anything to him. he just wished he could understand spencer.

after few seconds anthony completely gave up on trying to get the answer from spencer. he was about to ask him to leave when spencer kissed him. he grabbed ant’s face and kissed him. ant could hear spencer’s heartbeat, or was it his? he didn’t know what to do. he was feeling awful. he remembered his mom, and- my god. what was he doing! he was kissing a boy! that was a sin!

he pulled away quickly and looked at spencer with wide eyes. spencer gave him an understanding smile and got up. he walked towards the door and opened it. he muttered quiet i’m sorry and locked the door behind him.

after that day, they acted the same. they acted like the same best friends they were until that day. they didn’t talk about it. but both of them knew that they loved each other but couldn’t be together. it was the brutal truth.

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 ao3

Eddie’s sobs are visceral. It’s an ugly, deep-seated cry, the kind of cry that feels like it’s rattling his ribcage, that leaves his chest heaving like aftershocks in an earthquake. The kind of cry that’s done alone.

It should be humiliating that Steve is here, that he can see him like this. But it isn’t.

Because Steve keeps holding Eddie’s hand, even though his fierce, desperate grip must be hurting him—and Eddie can feel him breathing, and his eyes are bright and clear, and his head isn’t lolling back, doll-like and horrific; he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive.

And that is only proven more true when, as Eddie’s crying slows, lessens, like a wave receding from the shore, he hears Steve mutter under his breath, “This fucking sucks, come on—”

Eddie has only an instant of faint confusion before he realises that Steve is talking to himself—deciphers it right as Steve tries to move out of the bed.

It shocks Eddie so much that for a moment, he stops crying completely. “What the fuck are you doing?” he whispers.

“I wanna—I just wanna hug you,” Steve says, so achingly sincere that Eddie’s eyes sting with it.

Then Steve moves again, and his brain catches up.

“Wait, stop, stop, stop, are you insane?” Eddie presses a hand to Steve’s shoulder, gently pushes him back. “Your leg—”

“Yeah, it’s on the other side, dude,” Steve says, as if he’s being perfectly reasonable. “I can still—”

He wriggles a bit underneath Eddie’s grip, and Eddie hiccups, a sob and a laugh catching in his throat.

“Stop, you’re gonna fall on your ass and it’ll be embarrassing, the nurses will have to pull you up, and I’ll be laughing—”

“Shut up, they’ll just be distracted by your face, like, who fucking died—”

Eddie makes a strangled noise, and Steve looks mortified.

“Oh god, sorry, not cool. I didn’t—”

“You did not just say that,” Eddie gasps, draws back and covers his face with his hands. Not cool? Not cool?! God. “You did not just fucking say that!”

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry, don’t—”

“I’m not cry—I’m laughing, asshole,” Eddie says which is a half-truth: he’s doing both, tastes the salt of his own tears as he smiles. “I c-can’t fucking believe you.”

The bed begins to shake; Steve is laughing, too. “I wasn’t thinking—”

“Yeah, no shit.” Eddie feels Steve tugging on his arms, trying to pull his hands off his face. He playfully bats him away, catching his breath as his giggles trail off. “I hate you,” he says, and it sounds like something else.

“Ouch, Eddie,” Steve says. “Tell a guy how you really feel.”

This time, when Steve gently tries to pry Eddie’s hands away, Eddie lets him; and even though he must look awful, Steve just smiles.

“Hi.”

Eddie sniffles. “Hi.”

Steve sighs. “I really am sorry.”

Eddie reaches out, pokes Steve’s forehead like he can silence the thought that way. “Not your fault.”

For a few long seconds, Steve just breathes. “I know,” he says on an exhale, and it’s like Eddie can see some tortuous weight finally start to lift from his shoulders. His thumb briefly brushes across Eddie’s cheek. “I can still be sorry, though.”

“Okay,” Eddie says.

He must still sound a bit fragile, because Steve gives another sigh, almost soundless, and his hand lifts up as if to brush away more tears, even though Eddie’s stopped crying.

“Just…” Eddie swallows. “Just be here,” he manages.

“I can do that.”

They lie back down, Steve still stubbornly trying to stretch to the end of the bed.

Eddie chuckles. Braces his hand against Steve’s shoulder again. “Quit it.”

“Fine.”

And Steve takes Eddie’s hand off his shoulder, places it on the edge of the bed. Their fingers are touching, overlapping—and there’s no excuse for it; it’s not like before, it’s not like Eddie is feeling Steve’s breathing.

It’s just…

He initially thinks that there’s no way he’ll be able to sleep again, but he’s soon proven wrong—the sharpness of the memory fading, the horror and grief easing off with every inhale, every exhale. He concentrates on the sensation of Steve’s hand within his. There’s a raised mark on his thumb where a splinter once was, and Eddie starts to wonder when he got it, but his train of thought is dwindling, and his eyelids are heavy, and…

“You asleep?” Steve says, so quietly that it makes Eddie relax even more.

“Little bit,” he mumbles.

“I can… um, leave the light on, if you want,” Steve says, like it’s not a big deal, like it won’t keep him up; and it’s so damn thoughtful that Eddie has to take a breath before he speaks.

“Nah, you’re good,” he says, already drifting. “Can still… feel…”

-

Eddie doesn’t know exactly what time it is when he rises, but he knows that it’s early morning; he can still hear the dawn chorus outside.

When he looks to the side, he sees that the lamp has been left on after all. He carefully slips his hand out from under Steve’s, reaches over to switch off the lamp—there’s a soft click, and Steve murmurs sleepily.

Eddie strokes the back of his hand once, twice in apology. “Sorry.”

“You… leavin’?” Steve says, and he sounds so puzzled, so lost, that Eddie immediately abandons the plan to not wake him up.

“Yeah, man, just for—I’m heading to yours, remember? For clothes? Wanna catch Wayne before I go.”

“Oh,” Steve says, and then he cracks one eye open, understanding slowly seeping through the haze. “Okay. You can…” He yawns. “Use my washing machine if you want.”

“Yeah, might be an idea,” Eddie says. “I’m down to my last shirt, man, I was considering an act of desperation.”

Steve’s eyes have already slipped closed again, but he chuckles and replies, albeit fuzzily, “What, striptease for the doctors?”

“Got it in one. Any special requests for your attire? Any resplendent robes you want brought out?”

Steve groans quietly, but he’s still smiling. “S’too early. Brain slow, Eddie. Speak normal. Um… no? Just bring whatever, dude, I don’t…” He yawns again. “Oh, you can snoop, if you want.”

“Snoop?”

“Got, like books an’ stuff if you’re bored. S’no Mordor or anything, but…”

“Ha, you do know what it is.”

Steve opens his eyes to look at Eddie, flashes a sly grin. “Uh, no. Just overheard you and Henderson being pretentious little shits about it in the woods. I do actually listen, you know.”

“Wonders never cease.”

Eddie makes sure the curtains are fully drawn shut before he leaves, not wanting the sun to disturb Steve too early. When he passes the cafeteria, he wheedles with one of the workers to bring up some toast to Steve’s room in a couple of hours—has a gut feeling that Steve will go back to sleep until then. He ends up returning to the room anyway with numerous little packets of butter, already suspects that the staff will use the thinnest scraping possible.

Steve’s breathing has slowed back into somewhere between a doze and a deep sleep, but he still manages to stir a little, even with his eyes closed, like he’s got a sixth sense for Eddie entering a room.

“That was quick,” he says, and Eddie scoffs, lines up the butter on the cabinet.

“Nope, just leaving something for future you.”

“For future…? Ugh, stop talking in riddles.” But his eyes flutter open, and when he spots the butter, he actually lets out a long sigh of contentment, then says, sleep-drunk, “Oh, I fucking love you.”

“And all it took was butter? You’re a cheap date, Harrington.”

Steve tries to flip him off—emphasis on the try, because in his sleepiness, he uses the index finger instead, which makes Eddie snort spectacularly.

“Go, get outta here,” Steve drawls, pulls up the blankets as he swiftly returns to sleep; through the fog, there’s a smile in his voice. “Can’t stand the sight of you.”

And that sounds like something else, too.

[xoxochb]

I FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER YOUR PARENTS AT THE TABLE YOU WONDER WHY I’M BITTER BRAGGING TO YOUR FRIENDS I GET OFF WHEN YOU HIT IT I HATE TO TELL THE TRUTH BUT I’M SORRY DUDE YOU DIDN’T

[emafallsinlove]

I FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER. YOUR PARENTS AT THE TABLE. YOU. WONDER. WHY. I’M. BITTER. BRAGGING TO YOUR FRIENDS, I GET OFF WHEN YOU HIT IT. I HATE TO TELL THE TRUTH, BUT I’M SORRY DUDE YOU DIDN’T. I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG NOW I HATE MYSELF. I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG YOU CAN GO TO HELL!!!

[priestfrommidnightmass]

YOU WONDER WHY I’M BITTER BRAGGING TO YOUR FRIENDS I GET OFF WHEN YOU HIT IT I HATE TO TELL THE TRUTH BUT I’M SORRY DUDE YOU DIDN’T I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG NOW I HATE MYSELFFFFF HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG YOU CAN GO TO HELLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭

[bellzsad]

🎶 I FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM, when we went to DINNER, your parents at the table, YOU WONDER WHY I’M BITTER?! bragging to your friends “i get off when you hit it”, i hate to tell the truth, but i’m sorry, dude, you didn’t 🎶