#i hate to tell the truth but i’m sorry dude you didn’t

[here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can]

brb crying to casual

[wheredidthe80sgo]

the misinformation out there about casual being about a woman when that is the most man coded song I’ve ever heard

[anjellaufeyson]

The truth lays within jealousy- Bellamy Blake

Warnings: basically just cursing and knife play

Summary: Bellamy's your enemy but things begin to take a turn once you start fighting to push through emotions you feel towards each other.

Bellamy Blake made my blood boil, and I prayed I made him feel the same way. I was best friends with his sister, Octavia. Meaning, I had no choice but to be in the same tent or room as him. The rivalry between Bellamy and I formed when the 100 first came to Earth. We were on dividing sides, he had everyone in his control and made them feel free but that ended dangerously. I was with the group that wanted to help and make sure we survived. 

“Do you always have to disagree with me, Blake?” 

He turned to look my way, his hand resting on the map below our waists laying on a table. “Do you always have to have disagreeable ideas–Kane?” He spit my last name out as if it left a bitter taste. 

I’m just thankful he didn’t call me that other name, the one he knew I so deeply despised. My eyes rolled on instinct, “You’re such a dick, you are aware of that flaw right?” 

He glared my way, “You always keep me aware don’t you, princess?” 

I fucking hated him, “Don’t call me that, Blake.” 

“What will you do if I say it again?” 

My father made me train with guards on the Ark since I was a child, I could easily take Bellamy, and him forgetting that made me always want to remind him. I stabbed my knife into the wood table and as soon as I did Octavia walked in. 

She moved the tent opening away, “What is going on?” 

Bellamy folded his arms making his muscles fight with his shirt. I tried my best to not stare but as much as I loathed this man and wished him nothing but the absolute worst–he was the formation of my desires. And that left lingering resentment. “Your friend is threatening me, O.” 

I unstuck the knife and pointed it at him from the other side of the table as I talked, “He was testing me, Tavia. It’s his favorite pastime,” I said staring harshly at Bellamy. 

“How about you both go train, maybe away from each other? You can work with Murphy and I’m sure you can find someone, Bell.” 

I gave a half smile, “I’m sure every–what’s the number now?” I made it look like I was deep in thought, “Like 50 girls now? Are willing to train with you, you know your way around the 100, Blake.” 

Bellamy gave me dead eyes as his jaw clenched. I struck a nerve. “O, get out.”

Octavia usually hates when Bellamy orders her around just cause he's older than her but she listened without a fight this time. She knew I crossed some form of a line. She mouthed sorry to me and walked out. 

I moved over to him, my knife laying close to his throat. He didn't care, he didn't even bat an eye. He almost smirked at the notion.

“Tell me, princess, was I supposed to pent up everything I was feeling like you do? Tell me, how's that going for you?” 

My eyes widened a bit, “I’m sorry do you want me to just go sleeping around with every dude on this earth because what? I can’t deal with my emotions correctly?” 

He bit his tongue. 

“I guess maybe I should take your advice because I see how greatly it’s been going for you. The known asshole you only go to for a hit and quit it.” 

Bellamy eyed me, “Is this you trying to offer up, princess?” 

My breath was shaky, I scoffed, “Go float yourself.” I stormed out of the tent and went to the only place inside Arkadia where you could blow off steam. The training spot. Bellamy usually overwatches, sometimes with Lincoln so I wouldn’t be surprised if he made his way over here.

Murphy made his way over to me, “Need a partner?” 

I nodded my head and decided to not take my anger out on him–at least not with words. “Yes, but I can’t promise I’ll go easy on you, Murphy.” 

He smiled as he got into his stance, “I didn’t expect you to. I remember seeing you training from time to time with soldiers. I’m going to have to bring my A-game now.” 

I laughed and it made me feel a bit better, say what you want about Murphy–but his sarcasm and wit will always make you laugh. I got into position and Murphy punched towards me and I moved my hand fast enough to push it away and block it. We kept going back and forth, not taking it seriously. 

Soon, as expected Bellamy appeared. He crossed his arms as he analyzed our performances. Suddenly both of us began to take it a bit seriously, but I chose to ignore Bellamy. He knew I was holding back, it showed in Bellamy's face.

“Let me try.”

I ignored him but Murphy stopped fighting, I tried to regain my breath. Murphy was like Bellamy’s sidekick since the beginning, that faded and nobody tried to make an enemy of Bellamy. Like it or not he did run a lot of things we live by. Especially with Clarke gone. 

He got into position and I immediately went to attack. I moved close and elbowed his face causing him to move forward. I went straight for a kick to his bent knee and easily got him down. When getting up his hand stayed on my thigh as he rised up, it was like he was purposefully trying to mess me up. That could be the only reason.

“Damn Bell, maybe she should replace you as a trainer,” Octavia said while spectating. Monty and Jasper laughed. 

Bellamy stood up and hit me immediately in the gut. From the force, I took a couple of steps back, and I cursed under my breath. He shrugged with a grin forming on his lips. When he went to pull another move I grabbed his arm pointed it up, and used my left arm to push down on his arm. I twisted his shoulder and I knew I was causing pain. I had this move done to me and I was in pain for a couple of days. 

For a split second, I heard a groan from him, it almost put a smile on my face. “C’mon Blake, are you even trying? If you lose this–I can only assume where you’re going to go to…or who.” Maybe it was a low blow but he pissed me off before. 

My fist came towards him and he grabbed my arm tightly, almost hard enough to leave a bruise, and flipped me onto the ground. I tried not to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was hanging onto this fight by a thread. I kicked his stomach and he caught my leg and tried to make me fall but I did the one trick that took me years to master–I kicked with enough force off the ground for a second to gain a stance to be able to kick him back. 

Bellamy went to hit me in the face but I got to him first and elbowed him. He spit out blood and turned his head up with a grin as he wiped the blood. He tricked me and by making it seem like he was going for a low attack, I didn’t move up in time to block him and he punched me. My lip began to bleed. 

“Guys, I think you should stop now. You proved you both can fight–now stop,” Octavia warned. 

We ignored her warning and kept going. I was determined to beat him, and I didn’t have a real reason why. Part of me wondered if this was my only source of letting my emotions go, maybe I wasn’t that different from that man that I hated. We are both stubborn, witted, determined, quick-tempered, reckless, and aggressive. 

“One hit and we’re done,” he said. “Better make yours count, princess,” he whispered. The way he made it seem, that nickname was for our ears only. He never said it loud enough for others to hear and I almost preferred it that way. And when he did, he was only focused on me. As if nobody else was on the earth with us. 

My thoughts were distracted and he immediately brought me down. My back hit the ground and I winced in pain, my back arched a bit hoping that would help the pain. Before anyone could help, Bellamy quickly moved to my side. “Are you okay,” he asked almost frantically in a low voice. He sounded genuine.

The gaze I had on him changed, it softened even though I was in pain. I was utterly confused. “What are we doing,” I whispered, his back covering everyone’s view of my lips. At best, they’d hear mumbles. 

“Your solution to letting your emotions out, remember?” He lightly laughed, “Fuck, we’re idiots.” Bellamy brushed his thumb on my bottom lip, “Truce?” 

My brow almost furrowed, “Truce? Does that mean we suddenly don’t hate each other?”

He laughed and began to help me up, “No, definitely not. You’re still the bane of my being.”

I stood up and got my words out fast enough before everyone crowded me to see if I needed Abby, “And you’re still the only person I hate in this world.” 

Bellamy slowly backed away as we kept our eyes on each other, everyone kept asking if I was okay but I didn’t reply. I was too fixated on the man I detested. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” I said while brushing past them. The one person who got horrendously hurt was Bellamy, yet he didn’t complain or stop them from helping me. 

“I’ll help you to, Abby,” I said putting his arm around my shoulder which felt oddly–right. When I looked back to show Octavia I was going to help him, I just saw a group of disbelieving faces. I’d be shocked too, never would I have ever felt pity or thought of helping Bellamy. “I kicked your ass.” 

He laughed as if he didn’t have drops of blood on his shirt, “I’d call it a fair fight.” 

“I’d call it my win.” 

He glanced at my lips then my eyes, we came to a halt. “You want to finish this?” 

I could feel his hand brushing along my neck, “I think we’re probably banned from training together for a bit. Though I think that wasn’t a training session–that was fighting.” 

Bellamy’s gaze dropped, he stared at me, almost desperate as if he was yearning for something he never even got to get ahold of for years. His touch became more apparent, he stared at my lips as he talked. “I’m not talking about in the training spot.” 

My lips parted and suddenly every feeling I had for him disappeared. Only one stayed- the desire I clung to. Instead of going to Abby, Bellamy and I went into his tent.

It was as if both our strengths had been regain, like we were both pushing our limits to be ignoring our pain to mix it with pleasure. Bellamy took his shirt off with such poise and it made me roll my eyes. I started undressing myself also. My eyes lingered on his chest, God, he was so defined. Like a Greek god or a statue made out of generosity.

"My eyes are up here, princess," he said as he pushes me down onto his bed.

I didn't like how much I secretly enjoyed him calling me princess. "You're so full of it, Blake."

He kissed me roughly, as if we didn't have time to spare to be kind to one another. Our hate lingered and I loved it. I winced in pain because of my lip and that caused him to groan into my mouth. He was making it harder and harder for me to not rush this.

I switched spots with Bellamy, God forbid he lets me control one thing. I kissed down his neck being anything but gentle to the parts I knew he was going to have a bruise at tomorrow.

"Fuck," he whispered.

My hands traveled down his chest and before I could do anything he traded spots with me. "Watch yourself princess, if you keep going- I don't think I can stop myself."

"I don't want you to."

Bellamy used his knee to spread apart my legs. He put his hand around my neck and slowly pushed down so I’d be lying flat on my back. I felt my stomach growing butterflies. “I will be anything but gentle with you–” He paused and stared at my lips. “But I think you can take it.”

[cosmicdream222]

What is “the state of wish fulfilled” or “feeling the wish fulfilled”?

(Explained in my own words cuz states tumblr is a shitshow)

When I was in HS, I was obsessed with Japan and wanted to visit, and eventually move there.

My dream life = living in Japan, doing the things I wanted to do

My life at the time = living in America, not being able to do the things I wanted to do

Was I sitting around feeling sorry for myself and whining “boo hoo poor me, I wish I was in Japan. Why did I have to be born here? It’s not fair I’m missing out on so much.” HELL NO!! That = the state of lack

Instead, I was excited. I didn’t see going to Japan as such a big deal, it’s not like I wanted to go to outer space! All I had to do was save up some money and buy a plane ticket. It was totally realistic in my mind, why couldn’t I do it?

Sure I wasn’t there now, but I KNEW I could go there eventually. So I spent my time studying & practicing Japanese, enjoying my hobbies from afar, researching & planning my future visits. That = the state of wish fulfilled.

(And yes, I did end up visiting many times and eventually lived there for 5 years.)

Here’s another scenario:

Imagine right now that you won the lottery for an extremely large amount of money - let’s say 1 billion dollars. You have the winning ticket in your hand and you’re at the lotto office right now. They tell you it’s gonna be a few weeks of processing and paperwork before you actually receive the money, but it is yours. It is done.

It doesn’t matter if you’re currently broke, in debt, hate your job, hate your living situation or have any other unfortunate circumstances. In a few weeks, you will have more money than you will ever be able to spend. You will never have to work again. You will never have to worry about money again.

You might not currently know what it “feels like” to be a billionaire, but you know that your current circumstances don’t matter anymore because everything is gonna change soon.

Now, if you are reading this, you have learned about loa/void/shifting - and that is even better than any lottery you could ever win. You found out the truth, my dudes! Reality is an illusion and you can have anything you want. ANYTHING anything, not just materialistic earth things!

Yes we have been programmed with opposite beliefs our whole lives. It might be hard to wrap your head around at first. It might be hard to let go of all the victim-based thinking that society encourages. It might take a week or a month or longer to manifest your desires - but does it matter? Time is an illusion, and you WILL succeed eventually. You didn’t find out about the truth only to fail.

Sitting around on tumblr scrolling for more methods, asking every blogger the same questions, complaining that you don’t have your desires yet = the state of lack

Knowing that you WILL have your desires NO MATTER WHAT and not letting your current circumstances affect you = the state of wish fulfilled.

Have patience and persist! I have faith in you, so have a little faith in yourselves! ILY all and want you to live your best life ❤️

[onehelluvahater]

I saw this one post that said “It’s probably Stella and Andreaphus getting into Octavia‘s head that Blitzo is more important than she is to him!” But at some point it feels that she doesn’t even have to be persuaded to think that way because at some point it’s true.

In seeing stars, Of course the whole plot starts at something Stolas caused. Choosing with argue with Stella instead of caring for his daughter and 100% ignoring what she is saying instead to yell over the phone more with his ex wife. The line “Why does he hate her more then she loves me” isn’t even a emo teenager girl thing but again ITS TRUE! And with his actions shown that’s some pretty clear evidence and logic that yeah he does. Continuing on with seeing stars, he doesn’t notice when his daughter slips away, only noticing when Blitzo calls then immediately blames him instead of himself because she got away under his care! And apparently doesn’t know enough about his own daughter to know why she did or where she could have possibly went.

Then of course that instead of continuing to look for her, he goes on that show with Blitzo, flirting and thirsting over him instead of worrying about his daughter as the hours pass and the show continues. Dude is a capable Prince of hell, he’s killed humans before in truth seekers and doesn’t seem to even care about it so why in hell would he even let them be taken away in the first place?

Loona says “He’s trying or whatever” but is he? Is he really? Because where? Where have we seen him trying genuinely? In both episodes with Octavia and Stolas, he puts his own needs and wants over her’s. Using her (not even wanting to go) going to Lolo land to call up his affair partner and flirt with him very sexually in front of his own daughter then continuing to flirt with him in the park even though it clearly makes her very uncomfortable (To note, Stella and Stolas are still legally together at this point and he is again blatantly cheating on her in public in front of his own daughter. That’s gonna look great in court buddy)

He seems to try a lot harder to get into Blitzo’s pants than ever connect with his daughter! Choosing to spend time yelling at this ex wife, which some point I’d like to add. I’m a child or divorce myself and Octavia’s character hurts a part of my sensitive spot in both episodes she is in, all I knew from my parents were when they weren’t together anymore and didn’t like one another. Both of my parents of flawed individuals who I could point at and defend or demonized in any situation from those flaws but both are still my parents and I love them. Hearing my mom talk shit about my dad made me not want to go see him on his weeks, made me have a little bit of a hatred for him that my mom placed there until I questioned why I felt that way and saw him as my dad again. I connect with Octavia on this level with her but I can tell you this, my dad would never flirt with anyone in front of my face in the manner Stolas does (Yeah him and my stepmom kiss and flirt but not fucking graphically like he does)

From the narrative we have been given, Stolas cares more then his own wants and Blitzo along with arguing with her mother then Octavia herself and no “Oh he’s trying” or “It’s difficult and I’m sorry” from him or Loona is going to change that. Sure he can say one thing but his Action say something entirely.

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

In Another World

Part 1

Request: Hi! Can I please request a Kylo x f!reader oneshot where she’s from Earth, & doesn’t know about jedi + 1st order(she’s not a Jedi/no powers). One day stumbles upon something that causes her to teleport where the 1st Order is. Kylo & troops notice her & capture her(she’s terrified/confused), He keeps her safe, & to fully protect her, he marries her so the order doesn’t question why she’s alive. She hates it at first, but they both fall in love, she even talks him down, so he doesn’t kill his dad. Requested by @kpopgirlbtssvt

WC: 1.1 K.

Fictober Challenge

After many years of research, your team had finally made a breakthrough in quantum mechanics. This new experiment was going to change the world. As the particle accelerator was activated, you felt the ground shake beneath you. A crackle of energy filled the air, and then everything went black.

You woke to the smell of smoke and the sound of screams. You opened your eyes to find yourself surrounded by trees. You were no longer in the lab. As you stood up, people were running away, completely ignoring your attempts to ask where you were. Then you saw something that was definitely not human- it looked like a robot of some kind, also fleeing in the same direction. You turned to see what they were all running away from, only to come face-to-face with a figure dressed in black, wearing a helmet that could only be described as…funny. 

“Finally, someone who isn’t running. Could you tell me where we are? I must have hit my head or something” you asked and the figure approached slowly.

“Interesting” he tilted his head, observing you.

“Uhm, are you alright?” You noticed the strange mechanical tone in his voice, which put you even more on edge.

“You don’t seem afraid of me” he remarked.

“And…why would I be?” you asked, utterly confused by the man standing before you. Then, with a sharp-snap hiss, he ignited what appeared to be a laser sword and held it to your neck.

“Alright, alright! Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. Could you please lower that thing? I promise, I didn’t do anything” you raised your hands in surrender, fear gripping you. This man was a psychopath.

“Do you think this is a joke, girl?” his voice was laced with anger.

“No, no! I don’t. Please, I’ll do anything you ask. Just don’t kill me” you begged, your heart pounding.

“That droid. Where did he go?” he demanded, still not lowering the blade.

“The ball thing? I… I don’t know.”

“Don’t play games with me. I don’t have time for this.” he threatened, bringing the saber closer.

“I’m not! I swear. Look, I just got here. I have no clue where we are or what that thing was” you babbled, your panic growing.

“So you insist on lying to me?” He snapped his fingers, and two soldiers in white armor grabbed you by the arms. “Bring her to my ship.”

“Please, no! I swear I’m telling the truth! Where are you taking me?” You shouted, struggling in their grip as they dragged you toward the ship. He ignored you, clearly focused on finding something.

“Hey, let me go. I- I can walk” you tried to pull your arms, but they were stronger.

—

“You know, I wouldn’t mind being tied up under other circumstances, but maybe not in this situation. This really is not necessary, I can assure you that.” You babbled nervously, tugging at the restraints.

“I’ll be the judge of that” the man in black said coolly, still wearing his mask.

“Why am I here, exactly?” you asked cautiously.

“The droid. Where is it?” he repeated.

“Listen, dude. I don’t know. I told you, and I’m telling you again, I have no idea where I am or what this place is. I don’t even know if you’re a real person or a robot behind that mask.” You quipped, frustration bubbling up.

He removed his helmet, revealing indeed, a person was behind it. He approached you, his features were cold and unreadable, betraying nothing. “You know I can take whatever I want” he said, his voice low and threatening.

“Whoa! I hope you don’t mean that in a sexual way” you blurted, your heart racing and he sensed the distress in you.

His eyes narrowed slightly in confusion. You were different from anyone he’d ever interrogated. “Your mind. I can simply take the information you’ve been hiding” he clarified, his tone colder.

You sighed deeply, getting tired of explaining to him. “Then go ahead. You’ll see that I have nothing to hide and this is all just a big misunderstanding.” You instantly regretted your words, fearing he might torture information you didn’t have out of you.

He seemed surprised by your lack of resistance. He contemplated for a moment, then reached out with his hand, and you felt a brief twinge of pain spike through your head.

“You were telling the truth” he muttered, lowering his hand, not expecting that. He paced the room as he considered his next move.

“I told you.” After a moment of silence, you asked cautiously “So…does that mean you’ll let me go now?”

“I can’t do that.”

Before you could say anything else, another man entered the room, looking displeased. “Who have you brought in this time, Ren?” the ginger man asked, disdain evident in his tone.

So, his name was Ren, you noted, watching the exchange in growing anxiety.

“General Hux, I do not appreciate you barging in” Ren said, visibly irritated.

“I have orders from Supreme leader Snoke himself.” Hux said, puffing his chest in pride.

“What are the orders?”

Hux glanced at you, then returned his gaze on Ren “We’ve received intel on the resistance. We know their location. We’re preparing to launch an attack that would wipe them out” He announced smugly.

Your eyes widened in fear. These people, whoever they were, were dangerous people, and you had heard too much. You tried to shrink into the background, hoping you wouldnt’t draw their attention to you again. Alone, the look Hux gave you sent shivers down your spine. However, you failed miserably as both men could sense your fear.

“The girl must die. She’s heard more than she should.” Hux declared coldly, glancing at you again.

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear! Just please, don’t kill me” you pleaded, your voice cracking.

“I will decide her fate” Ren interjected, anger flashing his eyes at Hux’s interference. He didn’t like someone else being in his business or giving him orders.

“If you can’t do it, I’ll gladly take care of it” Hux sneered, stepping closer to you, but Ren’s voice cut through the tension.

“Stop right there. Don’t you dare lay a hand on her” Ren barked, his voice shaking with anger. Once he realized that his worry was out of place, he had to improvise “She’s my wife…to be.” As he said these words, he seemed shocked himself.

“What? No” you exclaimed, eyes wide in disbelief. 

Hux glanced between the two of you, clearly noy convinced. “Your wife to be?”

“Yes” Ren said, regaining his composure. “She ran away from me, but I found her. The wedding will take place soon. I don’t need to explain my personal affairs with you.”

“I- I’ll leave you to it, then” Hux replied, a look of distaste crossing his features before turning to you with mock politeness. “I believe congratulations are in order.” he smirked before walking out.

[sweetlyskz]

Strange||Chapter Three

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲!𝐨𝐭𝟕 × 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐉𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬)

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲, 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐱 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐈𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯||𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭||𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭

PLEASE READ: I can't lie... It took me a minute to figure out where I wanted to go with this story- I CRIED! I hate that it took me so long to get this to you guys :(... Hopefully the updates will be a little more consistent. ALSO I did revamp the banner a bit- the other one just doesn't fit the direction I’m about to take with this fic so BE READY!

thanks for all the love <3

UNEDITED

Not once, did it ever occur to you to do a DNA test. You grew up in an orphanage, so obviously you didn’t really know your parents. Honestly, you had no reason to know them, to know if they're dead or alive. You had Jin. And when he left, you had Jae. That was enough for you.

But now knowing that your father was out there, and that he knew Jin, made you curious. You weren’t really curious about your father, more so your mother. But, how did he know Jin? Phone tapping? Listening to your private conversations? Is that something that your potential father is capable of?

After ending the phone conversation with Jin, you both agreed to meet at a discrete location. He didn’t have to say the usual spot, you already knew.

A tree behind the orphanage, now old and abandoned. Someone could’ve spotted you from a mile away, but you didn’t care. It’s not like you were famous or anything. Unlike Jin, who showed up in a black zip up hoodie with a mask. He looked like he was about to rob someone.

“Dude, you look like you’re gonna steal my purse or something”, you teased. “We’re literally meeting behind an abandoned building. I don’t think anyone is here.”

“You never know, especially with your dad.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth about this whole dad thing? This could just be another lie you’re spinning to get me to forgive you.”

He sighed. “At this point, I have no reason to lie. And this is serious, Ynie.”

You climbed your way up the old oak tree, sitting on one of the limbs. “Where is he? Do you know? He shook his head.

“No, and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you”, Jin snarked. “He is dangerous, deadly.”

“I don’t care, Jin. He’s my father. You can’t protect me from this one.”

He climbed up the tree also, claiming a spot next to you on the limb. He laid his head on your shoulder as you sat in silence.

Just like old times.

“You still lied to me. Don’t expect me to forgive you that easily”, you reminded him. Yes, hearing about your father puts things in a different perspective, but the principle still stands. His loyalties should lie with you, not your potential father.

“I’m really sorry”, he apologized. “And I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done, but I really hope we can try to move past this, together. I’m not saying that things have to go back to the way they used to be. You’re an adult now, so you don’t need me to look after you anymore. But maybe we can start over? Clean the slate?”

You smiled, on the brink of tears. “Maybe. I have missed my best friend a little.”

“A little?” Jin teased. “I know it didn’t seem like it, but there was never a single day I wasn’t thinking about you, missing you.”

His hand reached your cheek, wiping away the tears. God, memories were a bitch. All you can think about is old times, but the good times, not the bad ones.

“You know we’re gonna have to tell them, right?” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “They’ll get suspicious if we’re suddenly the best of friends.”

You nodded. “I’ll tell them, don’t worry.” You both agreed it was better if you sat down and told his boyfriends the truth. Jin doesn’t always have a way with words, especially when their eyes pierced through his skull like daggers.

“I want to meet him, Jinnie”, you whispered. “I want to meet my father.”

The next week went smoothly. You and Jin began to reacclimate to being in each other's presence. The bangtan meetings were more productive, considering you actually showed up this time. The beginning was a little rocky, though.

“Well, look who decided to show up?” The leader complained. “You missed– I don't know— about three meetings!”

“I’m really sorry”, you apologized, giving a formal 90 degree bow. Jin laughed at your teasing.

“This is the last meeting before we start promotions. I couldn’t miss this.”

You all discussed the boring partnership mumbo jumbo. You didn’t really pay attention half the time. You mostly texted Jin, in need of a distraction. 

“Anything else to add Miss Kim?” Their advisors asked you.

“Yes actually”, you replied. “But it’s actually more of a private matter. Could I ask you all to step outside for a quick second? Everyone except Bangtan, of course.”

The manager gave you a quick glare before obeying your orders, grabbing their belongings and walking out of the office.

“Is she about to murder us?” Tae jumped up out of his chair, making his way to the door. “I’m too young to die!”

Jin rolled his eyes. “Yah! Would you stop being so dramatic and get back in your seat?”

You laughed. “I promise, I have no ulterior motives. I just want to apologize.”

You could tell that obviously wasn’t what they were expecting. They looked at each other, all wondering why they weren’t being chewed out by you for being a bunch of dickheads.

“I realize that everything that happened wasn’t expected, and I never meant to uproot anyone’s life. To be honest, I didn’t even know who you guys were before this partnership— well besides Jin. And the reason Jin was keeping secrets is because I told him to. But I want to be the one to tell you everything.”

The room went silent. It was like everyone was on the edge of their seats, like a movie hitting the climax.

“Ynie, you don’t have to do this right now”,  Jin assured you. “We can do this later, maybe when we’re all more comfortable with each other.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I need to do this now, or I’ll never do it. If I’m gonna ask for your help, you need to know the full story.”

“Help with what?” Joon questioned. “What do you need us for?”

“I need help finding my father.”

It was a silent ride back home for the boys. With everything going on in their heads, after everything you had told them, it was hard not to ponder over it.

Even when they got back to the dorms, it was quiet. Jimin couldn’t help but beat himself up over his last actions, the way he first treated you. Looking at it from his point of view, you could see why he acted the way he did. But he still felt foolish for thinking that a person like you would be out to get him, to take what’s his. They all sat in the living room, stuck in their heads.

“We need to talk about this”, Jungkook said, breaking the silence.

“You’re right”, Hoseok agreed. “I think we should help her. Good karma, you know?”

Jin shook his head. “You don’t understand. I’ve met him before. He is dangerous. I don’t want him anywhere near her.”

“Okay, but that’s not your decision to make, Jin”, Yoongi argued with his arms crossed. “As a good friend, you need to just support her decisions and help her when she makes mistakes. You can’t make decisions for her.”

Joon agreed. “Yoon is right. Keep her from this and you might lose her entirely... again.”

“Then what do I do?” Jin asked desperately. “Just let her get hurt?”

Jimin consoled his exasperated boyfriend, lighting massaging his shoulders. “Yes, and be there for her when it happens-if it happens.”

All of those years he spent protecting you, raising you. To be honest, he missed it. But you’re not a little girl anymore. You're a grown woman, capable of making your own decisions. And he is a grown man, responsible and mature.

“Okay”, Jin agreed. “Let’s help find her father.”

“Are you seriously gonna hang out with the same people that hated you like two days ago?”

You were getting ready to have lunch with the boys. You invited Jae to come along, wanting an icebreaker in case things are still awkward. He was helping you get ready in your lovely walk-in closet.

“We are all mature adults, Jae. Get over—”

“And let me also remind you, that Jimin guy embarrassed you in front of millions of people! They're all a bunch of dicks.”

“My favorite”, you teased. He threw an old t-shirt at you.

“You have the humor of a teenage boy.” Jae picked a shirt hanging up in your closet, handing it to you.

“That one, so we can match!”

“Like a couple?” You asked sarcastically. “How cute!”

He snatched the shirt back. “Never mind. Jin probably wouldn’t want us to match anyway.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why would he care what I wear?”

“Because he’s totally crushing on you, him and his boyfriends— maybe not Jimin though.”

"You're delusional", you scoffed. "There's seven people in that relationship. I bet they're not looking for anymore."

"Whatever you say... But that Namjoon guy was definitely checking you out at the awards show."

Another shirt was thrown across the closet, and with that drawer of socks, but even after the conversation ended you wondered…

Was what Jae said true?

Taglist (if @ is purple I can’t tag you :()

@scuzmunkie @moon-cupcakes @quillan-pie @uarmyhore @xjiminsthighsx @dreamamubarak @exfolitae @snookerbooker @bex-tk1 @prettybitxc @frieschan @whipwhoops @lulu-83 @minaaathings @demarie04 @svnbangtansworld @juju-227592 @bangtantxts @blancflms @girl-nahh @kameko-ko @cutiethecupcake @worcesheshestershiresauce @irishhbamb

Lmk if I forgot to add you or you would like to be added <3

[yayeetsonny]

One can only take so much… before they break

(Alex Morgan X OC)

Hi, yes i know i’ve been away for a very long time, but I wanted to give this writing thing another shot to see if I still had anything left in the tank. Hopefully this isn’t the most dreadful thing you’ve ever read. So sorry if it is. Please be advised this one deals with some very strong emotions and topics. Implied mental abuse, Suicidal ideation and just overall sadness and anxiety. This will be a multi parter as my fingers got away from me lol.

This one is 99% Alex x OC, although the character’s name is never dropped as I wasn’t sure if I was going to make this an x reader fic or not. If anyone has any name suggestions at the end I’m all ears. And future parts will definitely be more USWNT x OC

3.4k Words

Everything is your fault. It always is. Why can’t you do anything right?! It all fell apart because of you! You know that, and so do they. They hate you for it. Your own mother won’t even talk to you.

“Hey, kid… Kid?…Dude!” I was so lost in thought I didn’t even hear one of my teammates calling out to me.

“Huh? What?” I looked up to see Alex looking down at me worriedly.

“Are you okay little duck?” She said squatting down so she was eye level with me. She put her hand on my cheek rubbing it softly raising an eyebrow when i didn’t say anything immediately.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I said softly, making a poor attempt at a smile but I’m fairly certain it came across as a grimace instead. I looked down and refused to look back up even though I could feel Alex trying to get me to look at her.

“Hey… what is it?” She said moving her head so she could look into my eyes, which at this point were watering and I was doing my very best to force the tears away.

“I-It’s nothing… I-I’m fine.” I said, my voice breaking. I brought my hand up to rub my eyes and I stood up and tried to make a quick get away, but Alex wasn’t having it.

“Stop, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders to try and stop me from leaving but I pushed her off and started to walk away.

“I said I’m fine, just drop it Alex. Please.” I gave up trying to stop the tears, they were freely flowing now and i let out a sob as I broke into a full sprint when I heard her starting to follow me, calling out to me. I ran passed several of our fellow national team, teammates who were watching everything unfold.

I beat her to the locker room, grabbed my stuff and made a mad dash to my car, getting in and attempting to regulate my breathing. The tears were still coming in full force, sobs racked my body as I tried and failed to calm myself down. How pathetic is this? Crying like a big baby, because your mommy made you sad? I really am weak aren’t I? No that’s not true. The girls always tell me I’m strong and that I’m their brave big girl. Yeah it’s a bit baby-ish but it gets the point across. I wrestled with my own thoughts and was so engrossed in arguing with myself that i didn’t even realize I made it back to my apartment already. I also didn’t hear my phone ringing incessantly while I drove. I hesitated a bit seeing as it was Alex, probably trying to figure out where i went. It almost went to voicemail before i decided to answer.

“Hello” my voice was raw from all the crying I did, but I sounded more tired than distraught now.

“Baby, where did you go? What happened back there? Why did you run away? Please talk to me. I’m worried about you.” She said all in one breath, I bit my lip contemplating my answer. Then i took a deep breath and decided to just bite the bullet and be at least partially truthful.

“I… um, I was going thru a-a lot during the break between camps, I mean I guess I still am going thru a lot right now, given my very apparent meltdown earlier. I-I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t do it again, I swear.” My damn voice started breaking again as the tears started back up.

“Hey, hey, hey… little one, please breathe, you’re okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. Take deep, slow breaths, in and out.” she said gently, guiding me thru some breathing exercises until my breathing was less erratic. “Can you tell me where you are please? I’m going to come get you and we’ll talk this through and maybe we can order a pizza and watch movies, what do you say?” She asked, I could tell she was trying to remain calm but I could hear her voice quiver just slightly. She was scared, and rightfully so, this isn’t the first time I’d run off and usually when i did, I became self destructive at worst and let myself rot in bed for a week at best.

“I’m at the apartment.” I said and she let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Okay good. I’m on my way, be there in 10. Stay there, please.”

I took one last deep breath before I got out of the car and made my way inside. I intended to sit on the couch and wait for her to get home but then the more i thought about having to talk to Alex about what’s been going on the more anxious i became. I started pacing and started mumbling to myself about what i was going to say and how I was going to say it. I wanted to let Alex in but I knew if I wasn’t careful I would let her in too much and I wasn’t ready for that. Being 17 and all my ability to regulate my emotions and understand them wasn’t the best as I’m sure you’ve already figured out.

10 minutes went by quickly and Alex was there before i knew it. She quickly made her way inside and dropped her bag by the door, coming up to me and taking me by the shoulders again to get me to stop pacing.

“Stop, please. You’re spiraling, what’s going on?”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what? Is it your family? Soccer?”

“Family.” I mumbled, attempting to yank myself out of her grasp but she just wrapped her arms around my torso tightly so i couldn’t run away. “Let go Alex I can’t do this. Please let go.” I kept fighting against her hold but she wasn’t relenting, and while i would’ve denied it in the moment, I needed that.

“Shh, shh bub, just relax. I’ve got you. I’m here now it’s all gonna be okay, okay? I promise. Please just let me help you.” She said softly and I finally just allowed her to fully pull me against her chest, she relaxed her grip just slightly moving one of her hands to the back of my head, stroking my hair softly, resting her chin on the top of my head. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” She whispered, and she continued to mumble reassurances to me as she rocked me in her arms slightly.

“Do we have to talk about this?” I mumbled.

“Yeah kid unfortunately we do. You know the rules when you decide to run away like you did earlier.” She kissed my head before picking me up with ease and moving us to the couch. She kept her hold on me and let me curl up into her lap, I tucked my head in the crook of her neck.

“I don’t want to.” I attempted to say firmly but it came out as a whine.

“Remember what I said? It’ll all be okay. I know this is scary but I’m not going anywhere and anything you tell me isn’t going to scare me away. I promise you. You’re my brave big girl, hmm?”

“I’m 17, you know?” I said in an attempt to seem tough.

“And that’s why i said you’re a big girl. But you’re still the baby on the team and little one to me.” She said chuckling softly. “You can do this.” she said after a moment rubbing my arm gently.

“I can do this.” I repeated to myself. I moved myself out of the safety of Alex’s arms slightly, putting some distance between us and turning to fully face her, steeling myself for the tough conversation ahead. I’m a very sensitive and emotional person so these conversations always make me cry no matter how much I try to stop it.

Do you want me to call the rest of the girls? Is this something they should know about too?”

“Too many people. Not ready, I think it’s better if I tell you everything first and then maybe only tell them the gist of it after.”

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. So you know how in between camps and during off season I go home to be with my family? Well I went and everything fell apart, and it’s all my fault. Just like everything always is.”

“Hey, no don’t say that.” She cut me off, she hates when i am self deprecating.

“Its true though. I fucked everything up. You know how my brother and I work at the same place right? Well and you know how my shift is closing? So I work 1-10pm? Which my mom hates.” She nodded her head as I was talking to let me know she was following along. “Well one night it was bad… The weather was horrendous because in my hometown we get a lot of snow. A-and so one of the days I worked I was one of the f-few people to show up and, when everything was all said and done there was a huge mess left behind from the disaster of a day we had….” I was beginning to become emotional just thinking about what had happened that night, and i hated that it still made me feel such strong emotions.

“It’s okay, do you want to keep going?” Alex asked me softly, stroking the back of my head softly. she knew sometimes that talking about things was hard for me and that i needed to take breaks in order to get the whole story out.

“Yes i need to. I can do it.” I said determinedly. Blinking away the tears.

“Anyways, it was a mess and being a “Back up Team lead” sometimes i made a decision to send everyone else home and clean up. And since my brother worked on overnights I called him and asked him to come help me clean up so that i could go home at a semi-reasonable time. He came over to help but when they wanted to send him back to his normal area he refused and he s-started arguing with his boss about how he was going to choose family over his job at the moment and they d-didn’t like that so they sent him home for the night, and he didn’t have a car so he called my mom to pick him up…” I stopped to catch my breath as i realize I hadn’t been breathing

“Shh, easy baby, nice, slow deep breaths, you’re doing so good.” She said. I hadn’t been looking at Alex very much this whole time but when I finally did I could see unshed tears in her eyes. I knew it was hard for her any time i was upset or emotional in a negative way. She gently wiped away the tears that made their way down my cheeks.

“My mom came to get him, and then she called me, and she was angry, she demanded I come home so I did and when I got there she told me she had a lot of opinions about what happened but she was just going to keep her mouth shut. She told me to get out of her sight so I did. She wouldn’t even look at me. Just like that I was transported back to when I was a little kid and she would get angry and she would just tell me she didn’t want to look at me. It felt like a knife to the chest. I didn’t understand what i did to upset her so much and I knew she wouldn’t tell me. All part of her “healing process.” I said bitterly.

“Fast forward to the next morning, I woke up to the news my brother had been fired. I called him to apologize and I asked him what our mom said to him and he said that she blames me for him getting fired. She said I should have known better. I knew how much he needed that job.” My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as I played with the strings of my hoodie.

“That wasn’t your fault, you have to know that.”

“Yes it was. It is. He hasn’t found a job since and he-he’s struggling again. You remember what happened last time he was struggling don’t you? I can’t do that again, I can’t! Everything he does, every decision he makes that’s not good is my fault. My mom wants me to be “an example” for him but he’s older! How fucking twisted is that?! Why are things never his fault?!” I yelled standing up suddenly startling Alex.

“Okay, okay let’s take a break hmm?” Alex stood up holding up her hands to show me she meant no harm.

“No! You don’t get it! Everything is my fault! My own mother thinks so! I know he’s struggling but can’t she see I’m struggling too?! ” I threw a plastic cup that was on the table across the room.

“Stop. Now. We don’t throw things when we’re upset, do you understand?” Alex said sternly.

My lip wobbled as I started crying again. “I’ve spent the last 4 years trying my very best to hold my family together through everything we’ve been thru. I got my brother the job working where i do and now I’m the reason he lost it. And now he and his girlfriend risk being homeless because she doesn’t have a job either. And if they lose their apartment they move back home with my mom, which means I’ll probably have to move back to be there with her because I can’t just leave her there by herself with them. It wouldn’t be fair. Which in turn means I’ll have to put my life on hold. The life I finally made for myself.”

I’m so tired of being emotional exhausted. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t even want to be alive anymore.”

“Woah, hold on… what do you mean by that?” Alex’s eyes widened as she processed what i said.

“I mean what I just said I don’t want to be alive anymore okay? I want the pain to stop. I need it to stop.”

The silence that followed was long and tense. I immediately regretted saying what i said. But realized i couldn’t walk it back. Alex finally took a deep breath and began speaking again.

“How long have you been feeling this way? Do you- Do you have a plan?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking as she did.

“No I don’t have a plan, I just sometimes think about how much easier it would be if I wasn’t here anymore. And sometimes I think about hurting myself but i haven’t acted on it. And i’ve been feeling this way since last year, when my mom and i got into that big blowout fight at Thanksgiving. You know she didn’t even want me moving out here? She’s never really let that fight go.” I laughed hollowly.

“Thank you for telling me, and being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy. Why didn’t your mom want you to move out here?”

“She thinks you and the girls have too much of an influence over me. She thinks you guys are “changing” me. She threatened to force me to quit playing soccer all together.”

“What? Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Didn’t seem relevant?! How’s that? If i had known that I would’ve just had you move out here permanently!”

“Alex…”

“No I’m serious! I understand you’re still 17 but you’re out of high school and you should be able to decide your own path.

“I’ve been trying, but the situation with my brother gives her more reason to say i should just quit playing.

Alex goes quietly again and I can tell she’s thinking. I can tell she’s angry. She has never really liked my mom and visa versa, their relationship is courteous at best.

“I think sometimes you forget that you’re still a kid. I know that you have had a lot put on your shoulders and that a lot is expected of you, but your brothers choices that night are not your fault and I’m sorry he’s having a hard time and he might have to move back home, which yes will be hard for your mom but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up your life for them. They will be okay. I promise you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes i do, you wanna know how I know?” She said and I nodded meekly.

“I know because your brother is strong, and so is your mom. And while i’ve never met her I’m sure his girlfriend is too. You don’t have to hold anyone else up but yourself. Not anymore. Their emotions and their… predicaments are not yours to try and fix. i don’t want you going home for a while okay? It’s clear that it’s taking a toll on you and to be frank, This is your home. Here with me, With the other girls. We have you okay? And we will never leave you. Ever.”

I turned away from her and tried to calm myself completely. I was so over all the crying and I bet you are too.

“You’re probably so sick of me crying.” I said chuckling quietly. Alex Vehemently shook her head and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my head.

“Not at all, you needed to get it out. it’s never good to hold it all in like you did, you know that.”

“I know, I just…”

“Have a hard time letting yourself be vulnerable. I know love. I know. So here’s what we’re going to do. I think writing your thoughts out might help what do you think?”

“Maybe…” i said hesitantly.

“Don’t worry no one else will read it but you. And the only way anyone will ever know anything you write down is if you tell them. And I know you going home for part of the year is to help you be able to pay your half of the rent but don’t worry about it okay? I will cover any excess we have from the missing income okay? I meant it when I said your home was here with me.”

“Alex you don’t have to-….”

“Yes i do. You’re very important to me, and I care about you and the things you need. And right now you need a bit of a break.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Anything for you kid. Now listen I also want you to really consider talking to a therapist or a mental health professional about how you’ve been feeling okay? I won’t force you but I think you might benefit from it. And please talk to me, or one of the other girls if you feel like hurting yourself. I don’t want you to think you have to go thru that alone okay?”

“Okay i will.” She’s right, it’s probably about time i go to therapy, I’m still hesitant as sharing my feelings and the things i keep inside has never been my strong suit.

“Now, how about you go take a warm shower to calm down a bit more, I’ll order some pizzas and get the girls over here?”

“I’d like that.” I smiled softly and headed upstairs to do as she suggested.

About an hour later I was showered, comfy and sitting on the couch sandwiched between Alex and Christen. A “Chrislex” sandwich if you will. Tobin was on Christen’s left, Mal, Sam, Kristie, Rose and the rest of the team were laying as close to me as they could get and spread out through out the living room. Pizza was also spread out through the room as people shared with one another. We had Moana on as the girls said I could pick and that’s my go to movie. I was so focused on the movie i almost didn’t notice my phone buzzing at my side. I looked at the text that came thru and my heart dropped as I realized who it was from… My mom.

“You need to come home.”

Is all it said. My hands instantly started shaking and I had that panicking feeling rising in my chest again. Alex looked over at me curiously and I forced the fakest smile i could muster onto my face. I’m in deep shit now…

//

To Be Continued…

There will be a part 2 and the rest of the team will be in that one more, promise. Please let me know what you think!

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - eighty-three | honey pot

QuackIsWhack: Everything is set up. Are you recording? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Screen and audio are a go QuackIsWhack: You ready? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Yeah

The Discord ‘Incoming Call’ overlay popped up onto your screen.

QuackIsWhack: Punctual. If I didn’t hate him already, I’d like him 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: lol

You answered. “Hello?”

Silence for a few seconds.

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: This is terrifying 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: My heart is racing, dude QuackIsWhack: Yeah, mine too

“Hello? Are you there?” You asked again.

More silence.

QuackIsWhack: Maybe he’s setting up a voice changer or something? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: idk

“I’m here.”

His voice sounded normal. And it was the voice you remembered hearing when he came to the café to try and talk to you. Your skin crawled.

QuackIsWhack: I was afraid you weren’t going to talk to me

“Oh, there you are. I was afraid you weren’t going to talk to me.”

“Sorry. My computer is old.”

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Wtf does that have to do with anything QuackIsWhack: Bullshit, how is he making all those videos then

“Oh, that sucks… I’m sorry.”

“... It’s okay.”

“So… you kept showing up to my job, huh?”

“... Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you just say it was you?”

“... I don’t know.”

QuackIsWhack: Are you shy?

“Are you shy?”

“I don’t know… maybe.”

“Well… you don’t have to be shy around me. You could have said ‘hi.’”

Silence for a few moments, maybe he was thinking. Wondering why you were being so nice to him. Hopefully he didn’t think about it too hard.

“But… we’re not supposed to know what you look like.”

“Well, yeah-- I kind of felt betrayed…”

QuackIsWhack: TOO FAR QuackIsWhack: It made me sad QuackIsWhack: That you found out

“--you… kind of made me sad.” You tried your best to sound like you were pouting, instead of how furious you actually were. 

“Oh…”

“Like, I don’t know. I guess it just made me sad, is all.”

“I’m sorry.”

QuackIsWhack: THANK HIM

“Thank you… for apologizing.”

“You’re welcome.”

Silence for a few moments.

QuackIsWhack: We need to get him in person

You thought for a few seconds. “So…” 

“Can we still meet? In person?”

“Oh…”

“I apologized.”

QuackIsWhack: God, he’s PATHETIC 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: He’s surprisingly easy

“You’re right, you did apologize.”

“Yeah.”

QuackIsWhack: CRETINOUS LITTLE SHIT

“Yeah… we can meet in person.”

“Can I come to your house?”

QuackIsWhack: UMMM??? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: OH GOD QuackIsWhack: OF COURSE NOT 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: OF COURSE ABSOLUTELY NOT

“Oh, I was thinking we could go out. Like, to the park or on a picnic or something?”

“A park?”

“It’s been so nice outside lately and I spend all my time inside.”

“You have your job.”

You laughed softly. “Where I’m working. I want to, like, go out and have fun.”

“Oh…”

“I mean…”

QuackIsWhack: BE THE BITCH, CAT QuackIsWhack: YOU CAN DO IT

You hated manipulating people, you hated lying; after all the years of abuse from the Terror Triplets in school, how could it be a thing you could possibly like?

But you remembered an Ethics book you had checked out of the library in high school that had a quandry: Many people would agree that lying is bad and that you should always tell the truth - something you agreed with - but if you were presented with an instance where lying would protect someone, or protect you, would that make it okay to lie?

Of COURSE it would. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, and getting the man who’s been stalking you both in your digital life and your real life for months now into a spot where you can get evidence against him so the cops will actually do something?

Dear god, you hated lying.

But this was in the interest of self-preservation. And to think you had finally ended your fake relationship, free from subterfuge for only a brief moment before you were pulled back in…

You were going to lie like a comatose feline after they scarfed down their dinner. 

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH QuackIsWhack: YOU CAN DO IT

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

“What?”

“Mmm… you apologized, but you don’t want me to have fun outside… I don’t think you really care about me.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t.” 

“I do. I do care about you.”

“Then let’s have fun outside.”

“I don’t think we should go outside--”

“See? I told you you don’t.” You pouted.

He sighed. “...Okay.”

“Yay!” You said as happily as you possibly could. “I’ll message you the day and time.”

“Really?”

“Really!”

“Okay.” He sounded happy. Like a schoolboy blushing at the sight of his crush.

“Okay, I have to get ready to stream now. Will you watch me?”

“Ah-- yeah, I’ll watch you.”

“Okay!” You turned up the cuteness. “Baibai!”

“Bye.”

You ended the call.

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: Live Quack Reaction, lol. So anyway, y/n is doing *this* shit now… 

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy • @dinossaurz • @conwunder • @tinyelfperson​ • @anythingrelatingtojinyoung​ •

[begebege28]

JUST MY 2 CENTS

It’s truly amazing how they think and created all those HCs about #that couple. Like if that’s what you want, by all means do so. But to treat it like it’s canon? NO WAY. The way buddies do the same yet we get policed over it??? The way they act like buck is this idiot character who was “saved” by tmmy the talking tree trunk. And how tmmy is this “big protector”. Literally every time i see these takes, i ask myself, are these scenes not airing on my tv?like when they say “he was considerate of bucks feelings" when we know that’s not the case. Otherwise why lead him on during the date? Tmmy was out the moment buck made the “cool chicks” comment. Like why be petty and make the “joke" "Guess you can never have enough closet space. Ain't that the truth, right, Evan?" LIKE YOURSELF were hiding who you were? And here you are almost outing him? Thats your protector? “This is my first date with a dude”. Really tmmy didn’t clock it.. what 30yr says dude?? To lead him on and not tell him until basically opening the car door and immediately after leaving the restaurant you order it? Giving no indication you were done? Or during the date itself? I wonder why we didn’t see the continuation of the date? Reminded me and buck and Natalia first dare. For them to say this man is "so confident” we are yet to see this? In what way is he confident? In his sexuality?Obviously not lol. Well, in his job? If that’s that makes him confident then…… Then they made BUCK apologize because he wasn’t ready to come out to his best friend… The way they sped run the relationship by inviting him to his sisters wedding? I’m Sorry but you JUST CAME OUT. Has it even been 48hrs? This is a fictional show to which they could have made tmmy be a part of the bachelor party or the search rescue. Now that i think of it, what did the bachelor party serve in connection with the rest of the episode? We know they cut 30minutes of the episodes… i wonder what they cut???? Literally they could have made the medal scene be sweet and warm but it’s “enjoy it while it lasts”. REALLY? do we remember how buck wanted to have a medal and what it meant to him? They could have made them at least act like a couple… you wouldn’t even be able to tell they were dating if you didn’t watch the previous episodes. The dinner scene? The “daddy joke”. Like. Do they even care about this relationship. For for the love of god, you are allow to dislike a queer couple and queer character. Stop shielding them. They are allowed the same criticism. It’s not homophobic to hate tmmy or hate the relationship.

Imagine calling Eddie a "straight man" who still has grief over wife… how long has it been? They go on to say "this is why Eddie has to perform on dates" and "he never had to be with anything with Shannon expect himself". "He never had to be anything with Shannon expect himself". Simply where was this? What flashbacks and scenes with Shannon did you watch where Eddie was himself? Was it when he enlisted Shannon without telling her the FIRST TIME? Or was it THE SECOND time. Or was it after Eddie was discharged from the hospital and we got to see their life before Shannon left? Better yet, do you even remember why Shannon left and how he TREATED her. Shannon’s words, i don’t need a PROVIDER. “Eddie now has to realize he is enough. For Chris, for himself and for others". Isn't this bucks coma dream? Him realizing he's enough. Coma buck said to Bobby "I matter here" and Bobby responding with "you haven't learned a damn thing"." They went on to say “The only person we don't see or hear in the coma is Eddie." They continued “it's because buck sees Eddie as a brother. And buck faced off Daniel and himself, Because Daniel is the brother he couldn't save. The brother he never had. Eddie is also the brother he never had yet has saved" the whole point of the dream, was about buck. It was never about anyone else but himself. The dream literally is that. A dream. A life with loving parents/family and one where Daniel lived. This is if buck never had the life he did hence never meeting the 118. That's why Eddie isn't there. It's literally explained. If buck never goes and becomes a firefighter, he never meets Eddie. Buck is the Eddie gets in touch with Carla. Remember the flashback in Eddie begins? His parents basically shaming Eddie and saying "who's gonna watch Christopher while you’re at work". If Eddie never meets buck, he never meets Carla. That's why he's in Texas in the dream. He lost his custody because buck wasn't there, and therefore Eddie never got the help. I can’t with this narrative that “buddie is never going to happen” because for 6 seasons it was “queer buck is never going to happen” and look where we are now. I’m sick and tired of this superiority complex. Like, you’re making bucks bi arc about Timmy instead of buck himself. Oliver admitted bi buck was shot down in s4. He had to wait another 3 seasons for bibuck to happen. Were the same people saying “bi buck will never happen” during those times, now saying buddie will never happen 🫢🫢🫢 if so; that’s fucking crazy and sad. You never cared about buddie and the family that we have been graced with on our screen. The 6 years of content. Let’s not forget, bi buck this season was an afterthought. It was gonna be a continuation of Buck and Natalia. And then when the actress couldn’t come back, it was gonna be Buck and Lucy. And then Tmmy and Eddie. And then FINALLY we got Buck and Tmmy.

[starter-library]

THE RISE AND FALL OF A MIDWEST PRINCESS BY CHAPPELL ROAN LYRIC STARTERS

feel free to change phrasing as you see fit

“I’m so sick of online love”

“Um, can you play a song with a fucking beat?”

“Ladies, you know what I mean and you know what you need”

“She was a playboy, Brigitte Bardot. She showed me things I didn't know”

“She did it right there out on the deck, Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck”

“I just wanna get to know ya guess I didn't quite think it through”

“Fell in love with the thought of you”

“Baby, why don't you come over?”

“Want me to fuck you? Baby, I will 'cause I really want to”

“Well, back at my house I've got a California king. Okay, maybe it's a twin bed And some roommates”

“I heard you like magic I've got a wand and a rabbit”

“Baby, let's get freaky, get kinky, Let's make this bed get squeaky”

“Nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone"

“Cause after midnight I'm feeling kinda freaky, maybe it's the club lights”

“I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you don't mind”

“I love a little drama, let's start a bar fight”

“I really want your hands on my body”

“Baby, put your hands up, Be a freak in the club”

“I'd suggest the jazz bar on Mary Ann Street but you'd buy me a drink and we know where that leads”

“I'll meet you for coffee ‘cause if we have wine you'll say that you want me. I know that's a lie”

“If I didn't love you it would be fine”

“I'd rather feel something than nothing at all”

“If I didn't trust you it would be fine”

“We've done this before and I don't need it anymore”

“Let's not do coffee. Let's not even try”

“I've heard so many rumors that I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch”

“I thought you thought of me better”

“It's hard being casual when my favorite bra lives in your dresser”

“I try to be the chill girl but honestly, I'm not”

“Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it, I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry dude you didn’t”

“I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell”

“Never waste a Friday night on a first date"

“And so, I take him to this bar, this man wouldn't dance, He didn't ask a single question, and he was wearing these fugly jeans”

“He doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me”

“I'm through with all these hyper mega bummer boys like you”

“I need a super graphic ultra modern girl like me”

“We're hot, we're drunk”

“Look at her moving, baby, she's the one”

“At every party we're the party, shaking our asses and making out while the world collapses”

“Get up off your feet, get up on that bar”

“I could be the one, or your new addiction”

“I don't want the world, but I'll take this city”

“Call me hot, not pretty”

“Baby, do you like this beat? I made it so you'd dance with me”

“You can take me hot to go”

“I try not to care but it hurts my feelings”

“You don't have to stare, comе here, get with it. No one's touched me there in a damn hot minute”

“Baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me”

“What's it take to get your number?”

“What's it take to bring you home?”

“You coming home with me?”

“If karma's real, hope it's your turn”

“It's hot when you have a meltdown In the front of your house and you're getting kicked out”

“It's hot when you're drinking downtown and you're getting called out 'cause you're running your mouth”

“People say I'm jealous, but my kink is watching You ruin your life, You losing your mind”

“People say I'm jealous, but my kink is karma”

“Wishing you the best, in the worst way”

“No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater”

“Do you picture me like I picture you?”

“Am I in the frame from your point of view?”

“So, tell me now all your perversions”

“I'm too scared to say half of the things I do when I picture you”

“I guess we could pretend we didn't cross a line”

“If you really wanna leave I'll never make you stay”

“Whatever you decide I will understand and it will all be fine”

“And love is a kaleidoscope how it works, I'll never know”

“I know you wanted me to stay but I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA”

“Won't make my mama proud it's gonna cause a scene”

“On the stage in my heels it's where I belong”

“Every night's another reason why I left it all”

“Don't think I've left you all behind”

“I know you're probably busy but I would love to see you”

“I'd love if you knew you were on my mind”

“Boys suck and girls I've never tried and we both know we're getting drunk tonight”

“Touch me, baby, put your lips on mine”

“I know you want it, baby, you can have it”

“If I don't try, then it's my loss”

“Won't you fucking touch me?”

“I just want to touch you”

“I want all of your love”

“Thought I'd be cool in California, I’d make you proud”

“To think I almost had it going but I let you down”

“I fantasize what we would do and how would it taste?”

“Can we drag it out and never quit?”

“Oh my god, you are heaven sent With your dirty mind”

[genrockstar]

complicated

{anthony vaughn X spencer white}

a/n: i’m sorry if this is poorly written. it’s based off the song conplicated by avril lavigne

@aussiellama 🫶🏼

being friends with spencer white was complicated in many ways. anthony knew it all too well. they`ve been best of friends since middle school, they knew any fact and darkest secrets about each other, but anthony was still thinking that spencer was hiding something. he wanted to talk to spencer about it but he never got the chance.

the day anthony met "new spencer", he didnt give it any thought. it was first day of year 11, maybe he was just stressed. ant remembers how changed spencer looked. "dude, what are you wearing?" anthony laughed at spencer as he showed up at vaughn house announced yet again. spencer furrowed his eyebrows and look at his outfit "what do you mean?" "you look all..." anthony raised an eyebrow "...preppy" spencer just scoffed and shook his head. "come on man, we`re gonna be late" spencer walked out of the house, anthony following close behind. they went to school by spencer’s car.

anthony loved mornings, especially because he got to spend time with spencer alone, in his car, talking to each other one-on-one. but he hated the day after that, when spencer was trying to be cool with other people when he looked like a fool to anthony. anthony was frustrated, angry even. he stopped talking to spencer, he started ignoring him. which led to this day.

spencer avoided being alone with anthony after the incest map got leaked. sure he talked with him while being with dusty or anymore else but when everyone left and they were alone, spencer would make up some lame excuse and would run off. he focused more and more about basketball and making new "friends" while anthony watched him in frustration.

“i just don’t get it man, why are you ignoring me all if a sudden?” spencer asked anthony as he entered his room. “did i do something?”

“i’m not ignoring you” anthony said quietly as he sat back on his bed

“you’re not talking to me, or even looking my way. why?”

“because you’re acting like you’re somebody else okay? what’s wrong spencer? you’re always watching your back like you can’t relax man” anthony sighed deeply

“what do you mean?” spencer knew what ant meant. he was just keeping his cool, trying not to drop his facade

“you’ve changed spencer, you’re making everything seem so complicated, so tell me, what’s wrong with you?”

spencer was taken aback by ant’s words. he sat down quietly next to him and fidgeted with his pants.

“i’m tryna… i don’t know” Spencer looked at the floor. ant sat up, turning towards spencer.

“you’re still lying”

“i just can’t say it okay?”

“why not? just say it, i’ll understand no matter what i promise” anthony didn’t think spencer would actually say anything to him. he just wished he could understand spencer.

after few seconds anthony completely gave up on trying to get the answer from spencer. he was about to ask him to leave when spencer kissed him. he grabbed ant’s face and kissed him. ant could hear spencer’s heartbeat, or was it his? he didn’t know what to do. he was feeling awful. he remembered his mom, and- my god. what was he doing! he was kissing a boy! that was a sin!

he pulled away quickly and looked at spencer with wide eyes. spencer gave him an understanding smile and got up. he walked towards the door and opened it. he muttered quiet i’m sorry and locked the door behind him.

after that day, they acted the same. they acted like the same best friends they were until that day. they didn’t talk about it. but both of them knew that they loved each other but couldn’t be together. it was the brutal truth.

[devastator1775]

Nix comes out with the truth (Murder Drones Nix Doorman AU)

Summary: Nix had it all planned. She'd go to her parents, sit them down and tell them. Plain and simple. Just …come out with the thing that had been in the back of her head for so long now. Simple, right? …. Unless, of course, her nerves get the better of her.

Nix paced from one end of her room to the other, muttering to herself. She had been this for at least half an hour, since she had come back home from school. She had decided to finally come clean to her parents and reveal something that she had been struggling with for a few weeks now. On her way home she was filled with confidence and determination. She would stand in front of her parents and proudly make her announcement.

And then she came home.

And nerves overtook her.

Hence why she was pacing around her room, almost chewing off one her fingers.

“I mean, there no way they’d be mad, right? I mean, nah. Not my parents. I mean, they love Aunties V and Lizzy. No, it’ll be fine.” Nix said to herself, bringing herself to smile confidently …before it faded to a worried grimace. “But what if they don’t? What if they hate me for it? What if-“

“Dude, you’re going to blow a fuse like that!” a voice called out, making Nix jump in surprise.

Nix took a deep breath and turned to her desk, where her phone still connected to Avery – her honorary cousin and the one person she trusted who had gone through something similar. Which is why she had called them, yet somehow that little event had completely evaded her mind while she was nervously talking to herself. She walked over to her desk and picked up her phone. “Sorry, Avery, forgot you were here …so to speak.”

“Uh-huh, I had that feeling, miss talks-to-herself-a-lot.” Nix could practically hear the shit-eating grin that Avery had on their face right now. The thought made her feel a little better. “Honestly, Nixie, just get it out. Better to throw it all in the open, than to let it bottle up inside where it can build up and burst. Trust me on that.”

“Uh, the way I remember, Ave, is that your moms were walking in on us while you were trying out some of Aunt Liz’s old school uniforms.” Anne chuckled. “And you were making so many panicking excuses that you suddenly just blurted out the truth. There was no ‘build up and burst’ with you.”

“My point exactly!” Avery shouted. “And after a good cry and a long talk, everything worked out between us. Just like -*snap* - that!.”

“Still totally different than what I’m gonna do.” Nix flopped down on her bed, staring at her ceiling. “You got caught – you did, don’t deny it – and it worked out. What if-?”

“It will work out!” Avery repeated themselves. “Nix, your parents are, like, totally the nicest people I know – and I’m counting my mom V with that.”

Nix chuckled. “Yeah …can you still believe people saying that she was so much worse back when?”

“I still don’t believe she was a Disassembly Drone at all. My mellow, librarian mom …like that? Right, no way. It’s like- yatatata, don’t change the subject!.” Avery scolded – they sounded so much like V right now.

“It was worth a try …” Nix grinned. Her audio receptors picked up the sounds of doors closing outside her room. She took a deep breath. “Mom and dad are here. Wish me luck, Avery.”

“Luck!”

Nix ended the call. She closed her eyes for a few moments as she gathered her courage.

“Nix, you here, Sparkplug?” She heard her father call out to her from their living room.

“Y-yeah, in my room!” Nix answered, hoping she really didn’t sound as nervous as she thought how nervous she sounded. She took a deep, final – hopefully not that final – breath and walked out her room. “Hey, I’ve got something to tell y-“

The rest of her words got caught in her throat as she immediately felt her confidence fade when she saw her mother laying down on the couch with her head resting on N’s lap and the latter pressing an icepack against his wife’s forehead. “E-everything alright, mom?”

Uzi let out a soft groan. “Yeah, just …a [parental advisory] day at work.”

“Uzi.” N scolded, despite the grin tugging on his lips.

“What, her censor routines are still powered on.” she paused for a moment before she threw a glance at her teenage daughter. “Are they?”

“Y-yes, sure …” Now they were, at least. Nix had figured out a long time ago where those hidden settings were in her programming. Little trick that Avery had taught her, so they could watch R-rated action movies with unfiltered audio when their parents were out.

“Good girl.” Uzi closed her eyes again, smiling contently as N caressed her hair. “You said you wanted to tell us something, Nix?”

Panic welled up in Nix’s core. “I-it can wait.” She winced when she heard her voice crack in such an obvious way and of course her parents had heard it too. She tried to back away as she saw her mother sit up straight, giving her that motherly ‘something-is-wrong’ look. “I’ll just go back to my room and-“

“Nicole…” N spoke up, his voice soft and calm but it made Nix nevertheless freeze in her tracks, her entire body going rigid as she let out a surprised squeak.

“Nix, what’s the matter?” Uzi asked, clearly concerned about her daughter’s current state.

“N-nothing.” Nix fiddled with her fingers.

“Did something happen at school?” N asked.

“No, honestly.” Why did she sound so desperate to avoid this? Okay, maybe she was kinda trying to avoid it, but … She squeaked again when she suddenly saw her mother right in front of her. Her mother could be so fast when she wanted to be. A pair of hands gently held her arms.

“Nix?”

It was like a heavy weight had nestled inside her forehead, as Nix couldn’t bare herself to lift up her head to watch her mother in the eye.

“Honey, did something happen?” Uzi asked softly. “Did someone hurt you?”

Nix shook her head. “It’s …” Her voice sounded so weak, she hated it.

N ushered Uzi and Nix to come back to the couch, where Uzi gently sat her daughter down while she and N knelt in front of her.

N placed a hand under Nix’s chin and gently lifted it up, making her look at them. Nix didn’t know why but his gently smile always had such a soothing effect on her. She couldn’t help but to smile …but just a bit.

“Oh, I do think I see a little smile under all that gloom.” N joked, chuckling as his wife shoved him in the ribs.

“Nix, your dad’s horrible jokes aside,“ she threw her husband a teasing sideways glance. “We just want to know what is bothering you.”

“W-why would anything bothering me?” Nix asked, playing nervously with her hair.

“You’re playing with your hair.” N pointed out. “You do that when you’re nervous.”

“Like when you were lying when you got an F on your homework because your forgot it.” Uzi added. She crossed her arms, giving her daughter a stern look. “Is this something like that?”

“No …it’s …completely different.” Nix admitted. “It’s just …difficult to find the words?”

“Just that?” N asked, placing a hand on Nix’s knee. “It looks like a bit more than ‘not finding words’, though….”

Nix knew they were gonna grill her until they got answers. She knew they did it because they loved her and they wanted her to be okay, but …no, no ‘but’. Because of that, she needed to tell them the truth. They did everything for her and for that, Nix needed to be honest with them.

“Okay, okay …” Nix took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as she tried to steady her core, so it wouldn’t feel like it was going to burst out of her chassis at any moment. “There is something I need to tell you, but …”

“Yes?” Uzi pressed softly, trying her utmost best not to push beyond Nix’s comfort level. She knew – out of personal experience – how a teenager could lash out when pressed beyond their limit of comfort. Robo-God knows that her dad had faced the brunt of her anger so often …completely justified, of course

“I …I’m scared.” Nix confessed.

“Scared?” Uzi asked, surprised. “Of what?”

“Of us?” N asked.

“Of how you’ll react …”

Uzi and N looked at each other, before turning back to Nix. Uzi held her child’s hands between her own. “React to what, Nix?”

No turning back now. Time to come clean. The curtain falls. The code cracked. The teenager running out of expressions to use to stall for time. One final, deep breath.

“For the last …couple of months, I’ve been …noticing things. Noticing certain …people. Certain …g-genders?” Nix began. Something in her core jumped when she saw her parents’ expression change, even though she couldn’t decipher what emotion it was. “I noticed that I’ve been looking at the girls in my class a little more, a little longer. And when I realized that was happening, I decided to look some things up, got a few digi-books recommended I should read. And, you know, once I remembered that I never really looked at boys that same way, I ….”

She gulped, trying to find out her voice again while she was figuring out what her parents were thinking. Maybe they wanted to say something about what she’d been telling them so far?

…

No? Okay, back to speaking, then.

Nix took a deep breath. Her entire body was tingling, and she felt like her system was going to shut down. “I …I like girls. Really like them. Like …I’m attracted to them. Romantically. I’m often fantasizing about holding hands with girls, kissing girls, dating girls.  I-I-I…I’m gay. I’m a lesbian.”

Nix figured that that knot inside her stomach should have loosened up by now, but it felt tighter than ever. She couldn’t feel her legs. She was sure that she was mere moments away from passing out due to stress related energy loss.

Why weren’t her parents saying something?

They were just staring at her?

Processing the information? Judging? Trying to figure out if they really heard what they just heard?

“W-well?” Nix voice was barely audible.

She felt her core jump when N suddenly stood up and walked away from the couch, hand pressed against his mouth. Was he in shock? Getting angry? Was he disappointed in his only daughter?

A pair of hands fell on Nix’s shoulders, making her jump. Oh yeah, her mom was still her too. Uzi was gazing down at the floor, her expression hidden from the anxiety-riddled teenager. She wanted to call out to her mom, but it seemed that Nix’s voice abandoned her at the moment, only coming out as a barely audible squeak.

“Nicole Doorman …I can’t believe you’d do this to me.”

Nix’s core sank and ice filled her entire being.

“I can’t believe you made me lose the bet.”

Wait, what?

A small, slightly apologetic grin, appeared on Uzi’s lips. “I mean, I thought that, at least, you’d be bi, like me.” She sighed. “But it seems your father had it at the right end and now he’s never going let me live it down.”

“Uzi, when did our daughter ever show any sort of interest in boys?” N asked, as he turned towards his wife and daughter with a massive grin on his face.

“There was …” Uzi paused. “Well, I guess that doesn’t really count, since that person is going by ‘she’ and ‘Sally May’ now, but –“

“Excuse me!” Nix called out, announcing that she was still in the room. “Very surprised and very emotional adolescent Drone sitting here!”

“Oh honey …” Uzi caressed her daughter’s cheek. “I’m sorry. We should be handling this a little better, shouldn’t we?”

“Yeah, you got that right!” Nix’s emotion were all over the place. Confusion. Anger. Relief. Many others. She took a deep breath before stating her question. Which was, very simply: “You knew?”

“We didn’t ‘know it’ know it, but we had our suspicions.” N confessed.

“HOW?” Nix suddenly realized the bombshell her mother had dropped earlier. “Wait, you’re bi, mom?”

“Not really the topic at hand, isn’t it?” Uzi quickly stated, blushing softly and ignoring the teasing chuckle of her husband. Uzi took her daughter’s hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze. “Nix, our little Sparkplug, we …are your parents. You are your daughter. We know you. We notice things, even if you don’t realize we’re looking.”

“But that book titled ‘Your robo-sexuality and you. A quest for LGBTQIA+ understanding’ you forgot to put away and was laying in the middle of your bed, gave us some clues as well. You really should clean up your room more often.” N confessed with a soft chuckle. “But even without it, we had a feeling.”

Nix’s eyes hollowed. They found that book? She was sure that she had …hang on, not the pressing issue. “So, why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, still blushing.

Uzi cackled for a moment, before she composed herself. “Sorry about laughing like that, but …we thought that ’Honey, can we have a really awkward talk around the diner table about your unlocking sexuality?’ wasn’t really something you were waiting for.”

“So we waited for you.” N smiled reassuringly at Nix. “Until you were ready to come to us.”

“Honey, we are so proud of you, for coming out to us, despite being so anxious and so scared.”

“Yeah, we kinda pressed on the issue there, but-“ he grinned sheepishly when Uzi shot him a scolding look. “Shutting up. But, like Uzi said, we are so proud of you.”

“And we love you.” Uzi held her daughter’s head between her hands. “No matter who you decide you love.”

Flabbergasted. Stumped. Surprised. Baffled. Dazed. Perplexed. Puzzled. Dumbfounded. Flustered. Stupefied. Awestruck. Floored. There were so many words for what Nix was experiencing right now. All of that fear and anxiety she had been feeling. All the buildup leading to her coming-out moment. For days, she had been working up the courage to confess to her parents. Out of all the reactions that her parents could give her …’we had a feeling’ was one she didn’t count for.

It was …laughable.

A snort escaped her. She tried to apologize, but then a giggle got out, followed by another. She tried to keep it in, but she suddenly bursted out in laughter …for a few moments, before it slowly changed into a sob …then another sob. She started crying, wailing as digital tears started to flow down her visor when the emotions that she had been experiencing these last few moments finally found release.

Two pair of arms wrapped around her, each pulling her close. Her dad was stroking her back, holding her head against his chest. Her mom was her hair while whispering words of comfort to her.

“’m s’rry.” Nix tried to choke out, gasping for air – despite not really needing it – and trying to calm herself down.

“Shhh, let it out, Nix.” Uzi whispered warmly, as she gently pulled her daughter against her chest. She couldn’t help but smile as Nix clung to her clothes, sobbing out her apologies. A tear was forming in her eyes as well.

“Our strong girl.” N stated softly but with pride in his voice. The grin on his face made Uzi think back on their wedding day. It was the same goofy, happy smile back then too.

Nix didn’t know how much time had passed. It felt like she had been crying for hours, even though she figured there hadn’t even half an hour passed.. Her sobbing had died down to small hiccups, her head still resting comfortably on her mother’s lap while the latter was stroking her daughter’s hair.

“Are you feeling better, Nix?” Uzi asked when Nix finally found the energy to sit up again.

“Mm-hmmm.” Nix rubbed her visor. Her eyes felt dry, even though it's not really possible. She took a deep breath and smiled at her mom. “sorry for breaking down like that.”

“Honey, never apologize for things like that. Never to us.” Uzi stated, caressing her daughter’s cheek. It didn't show, but Uzi had been crying as well, as did N. “It was an emotional rollercoaster, after all.”

“Besides, you should’ve seen Uzi’s outburst when we-“

“Bite me, husband!” Uzi spat out but the grin on her face betrayed that she didn’t mind. She turned to Nix with a grin. “So …is there someone special?”

Nix instantly blushed, playing with a strand of her hair. “N-no …not really.”

“Oh?” N almost seemed disappointed. “No-one I can give a ‘what are your intentions with my daughter?’ speech to yet?”

“I thought there was, but …turns out she doesn’t – how did Avery put it? – play for the same team.”

“Wait, you told Avery before us?” Uzi asked, a hint of a teasing grin playing on her lips. “I don’t know how to feel about that.”

“Avery is kinda an expert – or the closest thing to it – on the subject of ‘life-changing realizations and how to present them to your parents’, y’know.”

“Some expert.” Uzi snorted. “Did V and Lizzy walk in on them?”

“Yeah, while you two were trying on dresses?”

“That’s what I told them, too.” Nix giggled. Her expression turned bittersweet. “But …I don’t know, it felt like they were the only ones I could go with this, quote-unquote, “problem” of mine. We’ve always been each other’s confidants, y’know?”

“Did V and Lizzy know before us?” Uzi asked sharply.

“Avery swore she wouldn’t tell before I told you guys, but, eh …you know how Auntie V can get when she sniffs a secret.”

“Well, if V knows, she’d keep it a secret, too.” N stated as he ruffled Nix’s hair, much to her chagrin. He scratched the side of his chin before adding. “Robo-Lord knows she knows how to keep ‘em.”

“Huh? What does that mean?” Nix cocked her head in confusion, while Uzi threw N a warning glare.

“Uh, nothing.” N quickly answered, as digital beads of sweat ran down his visor. “Something between the three of us.”

Nix rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“Well, someone is back to being a moody teenager.” Uzi grinned. “Feeling better?”

“Feeling great!” Nix stated cheerfully, and it couldn’t be more true.it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt like she could fly – if only she had inherited wings like her dad, but at least she could dream.

Nix grinned as she thought about the advice that Avery had given her. Who knew they were right, although in a different order: A good talk, a long cry and everything worked out great.

*SNAP*

Just like that.

[loveinhawkins]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 ao3

Eddie’s sobs are visceral. It’s an ugly, deep-seated cry, the kind of cry that feels like it’s rattling his ribcage, that leaves his chest heaving like aftershocks in an earthquake. The kind of cry that’s done alone.

It should be humiliating that Steve is here, that he can see him like this. But it isn’t.

Because Steve keeps holding Eddie’s hand, even though his fierce, desperate grip must be hurting him—and Eddie can feel him breathing, and his eyes are bright and clear, and his head isn’t lolling back, doll-like and horrific; he’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive.

And that is only proven more true when, as Eddie’s crying slows, lessens, like a wave receding from the shore, he hears Steve mutter under his breath, “This fucking sucks, come on—”

Eddie has only an instant of faint confusion before he realises that Steve is talking to himself—deciphers it right as Steve tries to move out of the bed.

It shocks Eddie so much that for a moment, he stops crying completely. “What the fuck are you doing?” he whispers.

“I wanna—I just wanna hug you,” Steve says, so achingly sincere that Eddie’s eyes sting with it.

Then Steve moves again, and his brain catches up.

“Wait, stop, stop, stop, are you insane?” Eddie presses a hand to Steve’s shoulder, gently pushes him back. “Your leg—”

“Yeah, it’s on the other side, dude,” Steve says, as if he’s being perfectly reasonable. “I can still—”

He wriggles a bit underneath Eddie’s grip, and Eddie hiccups, a sob and a laugh catching in his throat.

“Stop, you’re gonna fall on your ass and it’ll be embarrassing, the nurses will have to pull you up, and I’ll be laughing—”

“Shut up, they’ll just be distracted by your face, like, who fucking died—”

Eddie makes a strangled noise, and Steve looks mortified.

“Oh god, sorry, not cool. I didn’t—”

“You did not just say that,” Eddie gasps, draws back and covers his face with his hands. Not cool? Not cool?! God. “You did not just fucking say that!”

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry, don’t—”

“I’m not cry—I’m laughing, asshole,” Eddie says which is a half-truth: he’s doing both, tastes the salt of his own tears as he smiles. “I c-can’t fucking believe you.”

The bed begins to shake; Steve is laughing, too. “I wasn’t thinking—”

“Yeah, no shit.” Eddie feels Steve tugging on his arms, trying to pull his hands off his face. He playfully bats him away, catching his breath as his giggles trail off. “I hate you,” he says, and it sounds like something else.

“Ouch, Eddie,” Steve says. “Tell a guy how you really feel.”

This time, when Steve gently tries to pry Eddie’s hands away, Eddie lets him; and even though he must look awful, Steve just smiles.

“Hi.”

Eddie sniffles. “Hi.”

Steve sighs. “I really am sorry.”

Eddie reaches out, pokes Steve’s forehead like he can silence the thought that way. “Not your fault.”

For a few long seconds, Steve just breathes. “I know,” he says on an exhale, and it’s like Eddie can see some tortuous weight finally start to lift from his shoulders. His thumb briefly brushes across Eddie’s cheek. “I can still be sorry, though.”

“Okay,” Eddie says.

He must still sound a bit fragile, because Steve gives another sigh, almost soundless, and his hand lifts up as if to brush away more tears, even though Eddie’s stopped crying.

“Just…” Eddie swallows. “Just be here,” he manages.

“I can do that.”

They lie back down, Steve still stubbornly trying to stretch to the end of the bed.

Eddie chuckles. Braces his hand against Steve’s shoulder again. “Quit it.”

“Fine.”

And Steve takes Eddie’s hand off his shoulder, places it on the edge of the bed. Their fingers are touching, overlapping—and there’s no excuse for it; it’s not like before, it’s not like Eddie is feeling Steve’s breathing.

It’s just…

He initially thinks that there’s no way he’ll be able to sleep again, but he’s soon proven wrong—the sharpness of the memory fading, the horror and grief easing off with every inhale, every exhale. He concentrates on the sensation of Steve’s hand within his. There’s a raised mark on his thumb where a splinter once was, and Eddie starts to wonder when he got it, but his train of thought is dwindling, and his eyelids are heavy, and…

“You asleep?” Steve says, so quietly that it makes Eddie relax even more.

“Little bit,” he mumbles.

“I can… um, leave the light on, if you want,” Steve says, like it’s not a big deal, like it won’t keep him up; and it’s so damn thoughtful that Eddie has to take a breath before he speaks.

“Nah, you’re good,” he says, already drifting. “Can still… feel…”

-

Eddie doesn’t know exactly what time it is when he rises, but he knows that it’s early morning; he can still hear the dawn chorus outside.

When he looks to the side, he sees that the lamp has been left on after all. He carefully slips his hand out from under Steve’s, reaches over to switch off the lamp—there’s a soft click, and Steve murmurs sleepily.

Eddie strokes the back of his hand once, twice in apology. “Sorry.”

“You… leavin’?” Steve says, and he sounds so puzzled, so lost, that Eddie immediately abandons the plan to not wake him up.

“Yeah, man, just for—I’m heading to yours, remember? For clothes? Wanna catch Wayne before I go.”

“Oh,” Steve says, and then he cracks one eye open, understanding slowly seeping through the haze. “Okay. You can…” He yawns. “Use my washing machine if you want.”

“Yeah, might be an idea,” Eddie says. “I’m down to my last shirt, man, I was considering an act of desperation.”

Steve’s eyes have already slipped closed again, but he chuckles and replies, albeit fuzzily, “What, striptease for the doctors?”

“Got it in one. Any special requests for your attire? Any resplendent robes you want brought out?”

Steve groans quietly, but he’s still smiling. “S’too early. Brain slow, Eddie. Speak normal. Um… no? Just bring whatever, dude, I don’t…” He yawns again. “Oh, you can snoop, if you want.”

“Snoop?”

“Got, like books an’ stuff if you’re bored. S’no Mordor or anything, but…”

“Ha, you do know what it is.”

Steve opens his eyes to look at Eddie, flashes a sly grin. “Uh, no. Just overheard you and Henderson being pretentious little shits about it in the woods. I do actually listen, you know.”

“Wonders never cease.”

Eddie makes sure the curtains are fully drawn shut before he leaves, not wanting the sun to disturb Steve too early. When he passes the cafeteria, he wheedles with one of the workers to bring up some toast to Steve’s room in a couple of hours—has a gut feeling that Steve will go back to sleep until then. He ends up returning to the room anyway with numerous little packets of butter, already suspects that the staff will use the thinnest scraping possible.

Steve’s breathing has slowed back into somewhere between a doze and a deep sleep, but he still manages to stir a little, even with his eyes closed, like he’s got a sixth sense for Eddie entering a room.

“That was quick,” he says, and Eddie scoffs, lines up the butter on the cabinet.

“Nope, just leaving something for future you.”

“For future…? Ugh, stop talking in riddles.” But his eyes flutter open, and when he spots the butter, he actually lets out a long sigh of contentment, then says, sleep-drunk, “Oh, I fucking love you.”

“And all it took was butter? You’re a cheap date, Harrington.”

Steve tries to flip him off—emphasis on the try, because in his sleepiness, he uses the index finger instead, which makes Eddie snort spectacularly.

“Go, get outta here,” Steve drawls, pulls up the blankets as he swiftly returns to sleep; through the fog, there’s a smile in his voice. “Can’t stand the sight of you.”

And that sounds like something else, too.

[xoxochb]

I FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER YOUR PARENTS AT THE TABLE YOU WONDER WHY I’M BITTER BRAGGING TO YOUR FRIENDS I GET OFF WHEN YOU HIT IT I HATE TO TELL THE TRUTH BUT I’M SORRY DUDE YOU DIDN’T

[emafallsinlove]

I FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER. YOUR PARENTS AT THE TABLE. YOU. WONDER. WHY. I’M. BITTER. BRAGGING TO YOUR FRIENDS, I GET OFF WHEN YOU HIT IT. I HATE TO TELL THE TRUTH, BUT I’M SORRY DUDE YOU DIDN’T. I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG NOW I HATE MYSELF. I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG YOU CAN GO TO HELL!!!