#i hate them i hope they explode /j
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a beast only a monster could love
#i hate them i hope they explode /j#murderâdrones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#nuzi#nuzi murder drones#this is rough but ill post anyway
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gave nero piercings for fun + tiny dante and neros
#dmc#devil may cry#nero sparda#dante sparda#dmc nero#dmc dante#my art#i hate both of them j hope they explode
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the look of love âËŕˇ
#ew I hate them/j#i hope they explode#sk8 the infinity#sk8#sk8 fanart#renga#sk8 reki#sk8 anime#sk8 langa#langa hasegawa#reki kyan#reki x langa#reki sk8#langa sk8#the look of love#no. 1 party anthem#silly posting:33#:333#uzi posts:3
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reading the comments of OI stories is so unpleasant sometimes like đ i hate seeing people rage and curse at characters who aren't the protags. bro it's not their fault that they're antagonists and they're not even THAT annoying lmao
#ch 194#'theyre here to make tesilid's life miserable'#me: oh no (expressionlessly). anyway#idk maybe its bc for me tesilid's life being miserable is GOOD for me as a reader#so i dont hold anything against the antagonists#the story literally tells you over and over that the world is designed to torment tesilid#like look me in the eye and tell me which family w unique looks wouldnt clock their long lost member right away LMAOOO#theyre cartoonishly evil for a reason#and they dont even play upon any evil tropes of like. reminding u of evil people u know irl đ#whr is all that anger in your body coming from#wait. i just realised that the only chars i want to see miserable are the chars i like LMAO#i desperately need to see reed bloodied and beaten up#not bc i hate him (which is the case for some commenters on um. checks notes. the first bloody ch reed appears)#but bc i like him very much i just want to see him in a situation whr he isnt arrogant and confident like he usually is#are you telling me most ppl dont consume fiction in this way. lol#growing up on the 'i hope my blorbo explodes âĽď¸' website sure has its effectz#...i did not mean to use the z and speak like its 2000#anw im also j wondering if ppl who curse every minor antagonist know how stories work#like... stories need antagonists. you know that right#right. whyre u getting mad that the protag isnt having a smooth sailing life. lol#this antag literally JUST appeared how are you hating them already
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Guys guess who loves minecraft and is a loser? (Hint: It's me) I love Petra. Pretty woman please, please save me pretty woman.
I hate them so much guys I hope they explode soon /j
#petra mcsm#mcsm petra#mcsm jesse#mcsm fanart#mcsm#minecraft story mode#minecraft#ugh pretty woman PLEASE save me god#jesstra#mcsm female jesse#strong woman save me please#anyways guys I think I'm failing like bazillion subjects and school just started#I'm so cooked
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Sandwiches - Part 1
LAW X READER. FLUFF. (Taking requests đ˛ pls send em đ§ââď¸)
Itâs been a few weeks since the captain of the Heart Pirates came aboard. However⌠I never really thought that this would be the result of the alliance. Iâve noticed that Law really likes hanging around me, not sure why⌠but as soon as we boarded he seemed to have liked being alone or unbothered.
Then one dayâŚ
âHey (Y/N)!â Luffy called out as I had just finished creating some new outfits for the crew. âWhatâs up?â I asked. âCan you ask Sanji for some food? He banned me from the kitchen because the other night I raided the pantry,â Luffy said with a defeated look. âAnd Iâm so hungry,â he whined. âHmmm⌠Iâll try my best, but you know if I ask for too much food heâll get suspicious,â I smiled. âAlright!â Luffy cheered and ran off to hide, in case Sanji caught him scheming a mission.
I walked into the kitchen, âHi Sanji,â I smiled and waved. â(Y/N)-chwann~â he cooed as he was chopping some ingredients. âHi Sanji, mind if I make something? Just some sandwiches,â I said. âSure, but if you want I can make you one real quick,â he said as he placed the knife down. âNo! Itâs ok, I got it. Plus⌠Law asked me for one so I wouldnât want to interrupt you,â I said the first thing that I could think of. âHim?!â He said angrily. âDonât be angry Sanji, plus Iâd hate for you to stop the meal youâre preparing. Iâm really excited to try it for dinner,â I smiled and grabbed the objects from the fridge. âYouâre so sweet (Y/N)~! Iâll make this one of the best dinners ever,â he said and continued preparing the dish. Phew⌠anyways, now letâs make some sandwiches.
I made enough sandwiches for each crewmate, except for Sanji- he said heâd rather wait until dinner. I began passing a wrapped sandwich with a glass of juice to everyone. Everyone said thanks and happily took the sandwich and juice from me. I then sneakily walked over to Luffy who was hiding in a barrel, âHey Luffy! Made you some sandwiches,â I smiled. âHow many?â He drooled. â5 of them, I hope thatâs enough until dinner,â I said and handed them the wrapped sandwiches. âWow thanks, ok now can you cover the barrel again? Before Sanji sees me eating?â He asked, I laughed and quickly covered the barrel. I had 2 more sandwiches, and decided to go find the mysterious doctor.
I found him in the library, leaning back in a sofa chair asleep. I quietly placed the sandwiches and a glass of juice on the coffee table next to him. I was about to walk away before my curiosity peaked. I looked over at the large fluffy hat that was covering his eyes, âJust one touchâŚâ I whispered. I slowly walked over and stood in front of the sleeping doctor. I gulped as my hand slowly crept closer and closer to the fluffy white hat. So close⌠and finally contact! âSo softâŚâ I smiled. âSo cute,â I said. âSo you think Iâm cute, huh (Y/N)-ya?â Law asked as he tilted his head up to look at me. I stood there frozen, then felt my face burn up to a billion degrees. âN-No I was j-just-â I stuttered as I backed away. âWow, all shy and flustered, huh? Guess you must really like me?â He smirked. My face felt like it was on fire, and my head started spinning. âW-Wait hear m-me out- Ah!â I slipped while taking a step back, but instead of hitting the floor I felt an arm snake around and caught me. My eyes opened and were faced with a very muscular torso⌠they then lingered up to see a smirking man. âFalling for me now, are we?â He smirked. âI-I-I-I,â I blushed, and my head went back to spinning in circles. âI think she busted a fuse,â I heard him chuckle. I pushed him back, âI made you some sandwiches, I hope you like them!â I yelled and ran out of the library or else Iâm gonna explode.
Back to nowâŚ
Ever since that day he hasnât left me alone⌠and itâs honestly not too good for my health. I never realized how flirty he is⌠heâs almost as bad as Sanji, but more bolder. Itâs dangerous⌠So dangerous that I have decided to hide from him or else my heart might actually explode. Now I'm under the dining table, hoping he wonât find me. Iâve been here for 30 minutes, so I think Iâm in the clear⌠I finally let out a sigh of relief. Then suddenly I see a blue color surrounding me, âRoom,â I hear and before I know it the captain of the Heart Pirates is over me, his frame pinning me to the floor. âReally (Y/N)-ya? Hiding under the table now?â He chuckles. âItâs cause you-!â I immediately shut my mouth. I hear footsteps, a couple of them. I look over and see Luffyâs, Usoppâs, Chopperâs, and Sanjiâs shoes. I look up to Law who is staring back at me with a smirk, I frown angrily in return. âWhatâs up with that look, (Y/N)-ya?â He whispered in my ear, making my body fill up with goosebumps. âYou! You keep-!â I stopped once I heard. âDid you hear that?â I Usopp asked. âHuh?â Sanji asked, annoyed. âAnyways, hurry up and help me move these food items to the pantry,â he said and showed them some boxes. âRoger!â The 3 said and began moving the boxes. âYou should really whisper, unless you wanna get caught,â he whispered. âFine, you just donât know when to stop teasing people!â I whispered angrily. âWhat are you talking about? Youâre the one that called me cute,â he smirked. âI meant the hat!â I whispered. âThen why do you get so flustered around me?â He asked. âI-I⌠I donât knowâŚâ I blushed and avoided his eyes. âCome on, just say you like me,â he smirked as he noticed the goosebumps on my skin. âYouâre just teasing me,â I frowned. âAnd? Itâs cute seeing how flustered you get,â he says softly. âC-Cute?â I asked, feeling my face heating up. âYeah, and it looks like you like being teased,â he said as he analyzed my face. âI do not!â I whispered. âYouâre just a bully,â I huffed. âYeah, but only to you. I like your reactions,â he replied as he leaned down and I could feel his breath hitting my neck. âI bet you wouldnât like it, if I teased you back,â I frowned. âYou? Tease and bully me? Thatâd be a funny sight to see, (Y/N)-ya,â he chuckled softly. âOh yeah? Well thenâŚâ I blushed, as I cupped his face and forced him to face me. He had a surprised look on his face, for only a second, âWell th-â I interrupted him. I pulled him into a deep kiss, I felt as he tensed up from the sudden contact, but quickly relaxed into it. After a few more seconds we finally pulled away from each other. âI told ya,â I smirked. âMan you sure like to rile people up, donât you (Y/N)-ya?â He smirked. I donât think that was a good idea⌠I looked over and realized the boys were gone. I took this opportunity to snake out of Lawâs grasp and jump out from under the table. âHey!â I heard him say, and heard a hard THUMP come from under the table. âOh no, are you ok?â I asked, being a habit of mine. He peered out from under the table and looked devilish. âYou look fine!â I said and quickly ran off. While running off, I realized something⌠it is kind of fun to tease him back.
#anime fanfic#fanfic#fluff#x reader#anime#one piece#trafalgar law#law x reader#one piece x reader#one piece x y/n#one piece law#law x you#law x y/n#trafalgar one piece#trafalgar d law x reader#one piece fluff
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brat taming | tanner | 18+
epilogue: you have a horrible potty mouth and tanner doesnât necessarily miiiiind that, or at all ever! until itâs towards him and he loves a power struggle soo ^_^ he doesnât mind proving you wrong.
content contains! biting/marking, degrading, power struggle, jealous! tanner ..
⤡ afab anatomy used but gender isnât specified! sorry ..
petnames used: sugar, honey, babe, baby, hunnybunny, slut, whore
you were live and playing some overwatch on tanners set up. he was downstairs, watching on his laptop. you were on dps and played tracer. you werenât doing entirely horrible but your team was horrible. âšď¸
âyall say hear me out and itâs on a conventionally attractive character bruh shut up.â you say mid laugh as you see the big fat âdefeatâ on your screen. you felt so tempted to explode something. you join team chat and immediately shit on your team with every diabolical and tos friendly insults you can think of.
something you said made tanners stomach knot up. in a negative way .. the way your other teammate endorsed it sexually made him extremely like .. jealous?? is what he would call it.
bigTstreamingservice: WOAH!!!!!! ââ BAD!!!! DONT SAYTHAT!!!!! đ
âtanner shut your yap!! i say what i want. bitch.â you imitate a spit sound as you enter the practice range, now bored.
bigTstreamingservice: oh word đ¤¨
he types in chat as you snort. âon lone. tuh.â you emphasize you smacking your lips.
tanner finds himself getting up and walking to his room shortly after. you were searching on youtube for a subway surfers game footage to entertain your chat as you tell them a story. youâre laughing your ass off as you tell some random ass story.
âmy name is larry âjamalâ croft winston.. iâm 17 years old.. ââ you quickly were cut off by an unsettling noise behind you.
you hear the door crack behind you, slowly spinning around in the chair. âhellou.â you say calmly. tanner canât help but laugh his ass off. âTHE ENERGY SWITCH??â he screams as you scoff. âWHAT ENERGY SWITCH? I NEVER SWITCH UP.â you say in a specific tone that just adds fuel to the flame of his laughter. âYES YOU DO?â he smiles, exhaling heavily.
he pulls a chair and sits besides you, towering over you slightly. âhowâs it cooking, good lookinâ.â he smiles at you all goofy. âyou tryna find out?â you grumble. â100%. are you muted?â he asks as you double check quickly before giving him a ânoâ.
âbye.â he replied, smiling a bit. âi forgor..â you drool as he takes the mouse and reopens overwatch. âoverwatch time!! iâll coach you.â he huffs confidently. âgirl thereâs footage of you playing overwatch, i think iâll be good.â you side eye him as he gives you a dimly look back.
âdude. shut up.â you stammer as he lets out a laugh. you queue up for a game and tanners hand ends up on your inner thigh, squeezing it comfortably. âDONâT TOUCH ME CREEP!!â you exclaim, loud enough for someone next door to hear it. he jumped and slowly turned to you, unhappy.
you begin to get frustrated at overwatch slowly and started slamming your hands on the desk like a little toddler and trying to reason with tanner each time you died or did a terrible play, him smiling and nodding.
âi hate you omg, I HATE FLASHBANG.â you whine as you squirm in your chair. he huffs out a breathy laugh as he fixes his hair, pulling it back. âwho could hate this?â he says comically. âME!â you retort almost instantly.
eventually, stream ends. you wrap it up due to tanners unsettling aura at the moment, you hope what you said didnât actually upset him.
you turn to him and smile, âhai.â you coo out as he smiles in return. âhey hunnybunny, how are you?â he asks as he reaches for your thigh again, holding it gently. âiâm alright. overwatch sucks without friends..â you sigh out. he grimaced slightly.
tanner recently developed jealously problems that he was self aware of. he never saw himself as a jealous person, heâs really goofy and silly! until he got with you, he never realized how jealous he got over small things anyway, it was mild at the moment. he wishes he couldâve played with you instead of issac. (the person you played with)
âyou couldâve played with me yâknow.â he grumbled, attempting to hide this feeling. he trusted you and isaac equally, he had no reason not to. but itâs inevitable for him he feels.
you look up at him with a raised brow. he analyzes your expression and scratches the back of his neck. âcuz.. i can carry you.â he smiles awkwardly, his gaze leaving yours. âyou sound a little green-eyed there tanner.â you grin.
âstop.â he groans softly as he turns away entirely. âyou jealous, baby?â you lean forward. he sits there in a resentful silence.
his brows remain furrowed. âyou upset isaac is better at overwatch than you?â you egg on. he slowly turns to you. âthe same guy who screams when he isnât healed in one second. that isaac is better than me.â he said more as a statement that question, laughing slightly.
âdoes 10-10 ring a bell.â you look away like youâre thinking. he sits up and looks at you with bitterness in his eyes, a cocky grin smeared on his face. âbaby.â he started. you hum in response. âdonât start this with me.â his breathing hitched. âwhat are you gonna do about it, hm?â you raise your brow with a grin.
within a instance, tanners hands were on your waist and pulled you into him, kissing you gently on the lips. his tongue exploding down your throat.
you were taken aback from the sudden action and melted slightly into the kiss. realizing his plan.
you pull away quickly, your hands on his chest. âwait.â you scowl. âi see what youâre doing!!â you jump up, his hands slide down off your waist. he raised his brow confused. âwhat am i doing, sugar.â his tone laced with confidence. your lip quivers as you feel your face heat up. âtanner..â you huff, quietly. he stands up, towering over you once again. he slowly begins to back you up to the bed as you stumble back onto the bed.
your eyes examine his body, the bulge dented in his pants and the pattern his chest heaved up and down in. he was pent up.
âdid you want this, tanner?â you grin as he rolls his eyes. âyou can cut this act cuz we both know ill shut it down real quick, honey.â he sits down besides you, turns to face you and leans over. kissing you sweetly. you begin to straddle on top of him and holding his face as the kiss gets more passionate and passionate. the bulge in his pants evident against your own crotch.
tanners breath hitches as you grind against his bulge. he leans back slightly as you continue to grind against him. you smile cockily at him as you kiss his jaw. âyouâre so sweet for me, tanner.â you say between kisses on his jaw, lowering to his neck. he lets out a little whimper as he begins to grip your hips slightly after. helping you grind against him.
âfuck..â he pants as you caress his cheek. he tugs at the rim of your sweats and you kiss him one final time and begin slip off your own pants, your underwear remaining.
âgood..â he smirks as he pushes your back against the bed, taking you aback. you gasp as he is on top of you. âdonât act cute, such a slut.â he giggles as he slips off your undies. âiâm gonna make you forget your name, sweetheart. :3â he kisses your neck, leaving a very prominent mark on it. he lowers his head & begins to tease your hole. his tongue tickling you perfectly. you gulp and let out a heavy sigh, coming out in a shaky tone.
his hands gripping your things as he licks around your clit. you practically chew down onto your lip as your back arches into his mouth. âtanner..â you pant as you told the back of his head and begin grinding into his mouth. he stops.
ânuh uh, sorry baby.â he lifts his head and removes his hold from your thighs and holds your wrists. âyou want me to abuse your sweet clit, right?â he hums. you look away, pride slipping down the drain. âyâyeah..â you huff, your eyes shut tightly. âlook. donât touch.â he removes his grab he had on your wrists previously & slaps the side of your thigh. you yelp, growling lowkey afterwards. he giggles as he begins to tongue fuck you. his attention being to your clit and then fucking you with his tongue simultaneously.
âyou like that? you like when i fuck your sweet hole with my tongue?â he drags out as you can only whimper in response. âfuck⌠youâ..â you manage to squeeze out as he pulls away to bite your thigh. âkeep it cute, slut.â he spits on your abused cunt and sits up, taking off his pants. you flinch at the impact of the spit.
his hard cock flings out & he begins to stroke himself. he lets a string of spit fall to the tip of his cock and covers his cock with his spit. âyou ready, baby?â he smiles at you. you nod in response. âno? awww thatâs a shame.. you can watch me stroke my hard cock infront of you then.â he pouts slightly. you furrow your brows. âtanner..â you murmur. he raises his brow, humming as he acknowledges you.
âstop being a dick.â you spat in response. he smacks his lips and shakes his head. âno no no baby, thatâs not how you answer.â he lowers down to your collar bone and bites down. you exclaim and he covers your mouth.
âtell me you want this dick, like a good whore would.â he pants as he continues to bite down on you. he lifts his hand from your mouth, âi-i want your cock, tanner.â you sob out as the bite marks begin to hurt more. âsuch a masochist.â he lifts his head and kisses you gently on the lips. âgood slut.â
he puts his tip in slowly as his cock melts inside you completely. he groans out as he begins to thrust immediately, giving you zero time to adjust. you didnât deserve it in his eyes.
you begin to drool and tear up. tanners thrusting pattern is ingrained into your hole. he begins to tend to your nipples and suck on one and tease the other one with his hand. you were already pretty close due to him teasing your clit previously. âmâclose..â you whine out, pathetically. he gives you a cute smile in return. making your stomach knot up. âi love you, tâtanner..â you coo out, drunkenly. your tears staining your cheeks. âlove so much..â he cries out, squeezing your eyes shut.
âi love you more, baby.â he smiled at you, kissing your cheek, now your lips. you reach your climax, moaning into the kiss. he smiles into the kiss as he pulls away. panting slightly. he pulls out and places his cock on top of your crotch and his cum drips out all over your stomach.
he lies besides you and kisses your shoulders. cuddling you as you feel woozy, recovering slowly but surely. âmy sweet baby, took my cock so good for me.â he mumbles between kisses as you try to cuddle into him. he stops you immediately. âwait wait!! i donât want my jizz on my bed.. letâs get you cleaned, âkay?â he grins awkwardly as you whine. âokay..âyou huff as you sit up. your belly covered in cum. âmy pretty pretty baby. so gorgeous.â he smiled ear to ear, as he leads you to his bedroom.
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I hate them and I hope they explode slash j
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tged webtoon ep 171 spoilers and thoughts but i'm mostly just going "YAY I LIKED THIS MOMENT" and more below the cut
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DEMON KING LLOYD HELLO. HELLO?? WHAT. WHY?? BUT WOW. HOLY SHIT. I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS
I LOVE WHEN CHARACTERS GAIN WINGS AND HORNS AND . GHGHHGHGHHG AAAHHH ITS MY FAVORITE THING if you didn't already know dragon lloyd was like one of my favorite all-time panels so this is VERY AWESOME FOR ME YAYYY YAAAAYYY HAHAHA
LIKE SERIOUSLY LOOK HE GOT FANGS N SHIT AND. OH MY GODD THE SMOKE SLIPPING PAST HIS LIPS IM SO??? THAT'S SO COOL. I LOVE WHEN THEY DO THAT WITH SMOKE AND MONSTROUS FORMS OF CHARACTERS
genuinely i need to draw this asap. pacing issues aside i am obsessed with how sick this is. i love this a LOT
ok ok back to the top bc theres some stuff i wanna touch on from before demon king lloyd got revealed! because...
"master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us". "master lloyd taught us".
EXCUSE ME WHAT
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OFF SCREEN, LLOYD TOOK TIME OUT OF HIS BUSY ASS DAY. TO TEACH THE KIDS HOW TO PLAY SOCCER. AND THEY HAVE PLAYED ENOUGH TO BE FAMILIAR ENOUGH TO PLAY ON THEIR OWN. WHICH MEANS THAT LLOYD . PLAYED SOCCER WITH THEM . AND WE FIND THIS OUT. NOW?? I. GGHH. THATS SO. CUTE. IM GOING TO BITE HIM. THE FUCKER. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
the fact that they go up to ask him im going to EXPLODE?!?!?
he looks so nonchalant abt it here im cryinf
AND LOOK AT THEM GO THIS IS SO SO SWEET IM VERY GLAD LYRA GOT TO PLAY WITH THEM I LIKE THIS A LOT
this scene, and the beginning scene where the adults were just so casual with her and treating her as a living person with feelings and someone that they can talk to was so so heartwarming i oooghhh my heart
AND THEN THERE HE IS. SMILING IN THE BACK. YOU ASS.
I SEE YOU BEING KIND AND EMPATHETIC AND SELFLESS LLOYD. YOU LOST THE NONCHALANT WAR. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE
christ. i fucking HATE him /j /aff
it is also VERY silly that they're so casual abt. destruction like that HELPPP they got it from someone sob sob, though i imagine since most of the estate consists of people who have done construction it probably isnt that big of a deal when things get destroyed every now n then
and lyra looks so damn happy,,, god im so glad she had a good experience, she really needed one :')
also i completely LOST it when the kid got mad at lyra for not responding with a yes or no HELPPP JESUS CHRIST
again they,,, got it from someone HAHA though honestly i think it tracks. kids can be straightforwardly brutal in their language, especially when they don't really have biases or cares for who they are speaking to. as crazy as this instance looks (LMFAO) i think this fits well with the context of the straightforwardness of children and considering the person who they look up to at the estate. i think it was good for lyra to meet a human child her age who can speak straightforwardly and not skirt past things, if that makes sense? i hope it does!
AND THE DEMON KING TRANSFORMATION i already talked abt it above but i wanna point out this blue system box here
a power outside of the system?!?? what does this mean for the protagonist of the new prequel bk_moon is writing?? is the weather forecasting included in this???
my first assumption right now is that the demon king power is just an in-world power system while everything else (ie the weather forecasting) is external, blue-textbox system. maybe? so lloyd got the demon king power which comes with skills separate from the ones that the system can provide? that would explain why there's no indication of lloyd trying to use the weather forecasting, he probably can't use it,,,? except i dont know why artanis can use it in that case. most likely i am overthinking it LMFAO
semi-related, i am a little confused as to why artanis did this? i guess she really, really trusted him w this power? or maybe her weather forecasting noted that this would be something good to do i have no idea,,, it Does feel a bit sudden i won't lie, i'm not sure how earned this is
also javier and everyone else not reacting that much to the demon king status. SENT ME HAHA "... nothing's changed." LOL
deadpan humor never fails to make me giggle ily javier
also loved the moment where the two of them were bein serious for a sec,,, they've got a job to do they've got people to protect. lloyd will stop fate and javier will be right besides him...
i think showing them at emily's wedding really cements how much they really, REALLY need to fight fate now. the novel events happening is very very bad, but it feels like now that so many people, emily especially, have found THIS much happiness in their lives,,, failing to stop fate will hit even harder. i really like the analogy of a taut bow that the dragon king used when he first described it, bc it's really REALLY showing how much the repercussions will hit if they fail. im praying they succeed,,, please,,, i need a happy ending or i will curl up and turn into an actual shrimp irl.
and now the demons have to build the pantara railroad,,, artanis's expression omfg
she really didn't,,, know,,, she trusted him that much,,,, girl,,,
but it's ok. it'll be a net positive trust! that's how lloyd does things!!! and then soon we'll get the happy ending where we can get the eye of summer and beat up fate and then silly fun times YAYY <- probably copium
some other thoughts of note that i had with a dear mutual (hi sprout :3) about this ep:
we were talking about how the plot seems to be paced right now, and honestly i'm of the opinion that while yes its Technically moving, the way they're ending each ep in this current arc makes it feel like it's going both very slow and very fast, that is to say it feels like it's not moving at all
bc they're like "okay NOW we're gonna do the build project" and it's been like that for several episodes now. pieces are moving but we're going past the point of it all too fast (especially the whole demon king thing. mentioned this before but while cool, doesn't feel as earned simply bc we're both tackling each point and yet blowing past all the points, so it's a lot less satisfying than it should be (despite how awesome it is,,, oh lloyd you give me so much internal conflict </3))
it does make me a lil worried that they're gonna timeskip the hell out of the pantara railroad build. however this episode, although it still has a weird pacing/movement issue, does feel a little bit better than the last two imo, so i have hope that it'll turn out okay, that it'll start heading up! i'm actually really excited to see where they go with this and i'm sure that even if the pacing is still goofy i'll have some kind of fun with it (seriously the panels this ep were wonderful HAHA)
anyway that's all for this week! extremely excited for the next ep,,, ill see yall then,,, lets go pantara railroad arc!!!
#tged#the greatest estate developer#lynn misc#tged spoilers#the greatest estate designer#lloyd frontera#tged lloyd#i read this episode in the middle of my finals actually LMFAOOOOO#okay well not like during an exam or anything dont worry guys#but like definitely when i should have been working and studying. so.#it probably helped me i think demon king lloyd showing up gave me the dopamine i needed to actually get shit done and finish through friday#or was it serotonin? what's the happy chemical? i don't know i'm an engineer not a med student#on that note though I DID WELL ON MY FINALS! EVERYONE CHEER!#i'd like to thank lloyd frontera for being with me in my time of extremely extremely severe (that's two extremely's) âlosing itâ moments#it all ended up worth it. i passed a comp sci class with an A for the first time in several years#safe to say i'm very happy!#more posts to come now that i'm on break! i have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THAT DAMN PREQUEL NOVEL. and also about alicia. very excited!#i'll see y'all then okay i'll post this shit now#(maybe i need to cool it on the âposting my secondary thoughts to tagsâ thing) (idek if anyone reads this) (OK POST)
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â RE2 Leonâs alphabet!
self indulgent thing for leon scott kennedy because heâs my wife and my girlfriend and i love him more than you know
warning: kinda angsty, m.reader (ftm), black coded reader, chubby reader, scars are mentioned, leon is emotionally constipated probably, heâs so unbelievably awkward
enjoy !! ŕŤŽę° ËáË ęąá
A = Affection
heâs not very physically affectionate, but my god he will shower you with praise and gifts!! he also would make little trinkets for you to keep, like charms for bracelets, phone cases, and key chains. he also LOVES buying you stuffed animals since he likes seeing them in your room when he comes over.
he isnât very big on physical affection since heâs scared heâll accidentally hurt you, but when he is ready and willing to, he will hold pinkies with you when you guys are out somewhere as a small gesture of trust.
B = Best friend
you guys would meet and become friends during the job, after all it WAS you and his first days and rookies so a spark naturally started. but he would be such an awkward friend, like people would think youâre holding him hostage type of awkward. he would always be kinda and considerate but again, heâs super fucking awkward and has TERRIBLE dad jokes.
C = Cuddles
he likes cuddling surprising, he finds it calming to have your body weight on top of him. even if you tell him youâre scared of crushing his ribcage, âif i die i donât mind, it would be a fine death.â it makes you worry about whatâs wrong with him, but he just needs you that close so that he can hopefully meld himself with you so you guys could be one!
D = Domestic
he would absolutely love to marry you bust heâs scared of losing you, he finds it better to being just a couple than marriage. he thinks it wonât hurt as much if you do end up leaving or dying early if you guys are just a couple.
but he already acts as if heâs your husband, cooking you delicious meals and cleaning up here and there. he always feels the need to move so him doing those small things for you makes him feel accomplished and happy, heâs just the cutest uouhfjdhd
E = Ending
if he were to end things with you (which i highly doubt but wtv) it would be as gentle as he possibly could muster. it would honestly be more nerve wracking for him since heâs scared of you hating him or cutting him off forever, again i donât think he would ever want to break up with you but if he had to it would be gently.
F = FiancĂŠ
leon definitely want to get married but he wants to wait for a very special moment and not in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse, yknow? he thinks that gross undead creatures and a giant creature chasing him isnât the best proposal spot, he wants to propose on a pretty beach when he feels heâs mature enough.
G = Gentle
leon treats you like youâre made of glass sometimes, he tries to prevent the most minor things from hurting you. sleeping in the bed with him? heâs putting a pillow to the side that has the floor. reaching for something? heâll get it for you or pick you up to get it. he is absolutely overprotective towards you and itâs adorable.
H = Hugs
he is a really awkward hugger but he loves hugs, he just has trouble with hand placement. he doesnât wanna make you uncomfortable or seem like he doesnât wanna hug up to you, he also refused to let you hug him after the raccoon city day without him taking a shower first.
I = I love you
he said it in front of the facility as soon as it exploded, he really hoped you didnât hear himâŚbut you did! he says it on the daily, sometimes you think he just says it to say it. you hand him his phone from a different room? i love you. you hold the door open for him? i love you. itâs his favorite phase for you!
J = Jealousy
heâs absolutely jealous, but not in the âsuper hot dude pinning you to a wallâ type way but in a âpls look at me instead pleasepleaseplwasepleaseâ way. he is absolutely whiny when you give other men attention, heâll awkwardly stand behind you and hold onto your pinky as you continue conversation. he tries to be intimidating but he looks to much like a puppy to any other person :(
K = Kisses
he loves kisses, heâs always kissing your hands or your head but he feels like he has to earn kissing you on the lips. if you have any scars heâll love kissing those to! but if you were to give him a kiss, aim for the cheeks. cheeks kisses make him go completely red and make him all warm and fuzzy inside.
L = Little ones
heâs very strange around kids, heâll give a little head nod or a wave to them if theyâre staring at him. but other than that he would prefer to stay away from children, they scare him more than zombies do.
M = Mornings
heâs always bright and early doing something around the house, by the time you wake up heâs in the kitchen focusing far to hard on trying to flip the perfect pancake. anything to make sure you have a nice and well balanced breakfast, so it has to be perfect damnit!!!
N = Night
he likes to have you in his arms at night, he thinks feelings your heartbeat on any part of him is therapeutic. he sleeps after you fall asleep though, he wants to make sure you get a good nights rest and is willing to sacrifice his own sleep for that to happen.
O = Open
he started opening up a couple months after you guys got together, heâs very open about everything that itâs a little scary. again heâs awkward so it makes everything else like the execution a big strange, but he would rather die than lie to you for no reason.
P = Patience
heâs a semi patient person, he has his limits especially if you or him are in danger. aside from this he is very much a normal little guy!
Q = Quizzes
he knows EVERYTHING about you, it doesnât matter if you told him or not. he reads up you files once and awhile just to see your younger pictures cause he thinks theyâre cute and dorky, he thinks heâs being a creep but he just canât help it!! he wants to know all about you!!
R = Remember
by far his favorite memory he remembers is when you kissed all over his face when you saw him again, you had thought he died and he definitely wasnât expecting an ambush of kisses to the face. he couldnât even look at you after that he was so red faced and embarrassed.
S = Security
leon is overprotective as hell, he has to remind himself that you can also do stuff without exploding or dying. he just canât help it, youâre so important to him and he would feel horrible if you hurt yourself when he couldâve easily prevented it.
T = Try
he always tries to go all out for anniversaryâs and holidays for you, he thinks youâre the most precious thing in the world to him so he wants to treat you like gold.
U = Ugly
he has a really bad habit of cutting you off or not listening to you all together, he doesnât mean to but it happens more than he likes. it makes his heart hurts when youâre talking about something you love but suddenly go quiet when you realize heâs not paying attention, he apologizes profusely and gives u big smooches :((
V = Vanity
he isnât concerned with his looks at all, he just makes sure he doesnât smell bad when heâs around you and makes sure that his teeth are brushed before he kisses you.
W = Whole
you are literally the only thing he has left, he would kill for you if it was necessary. he feels as though he would just stop working as a human if you guys broke up or if you died, he needs you to be with him so he can feel whole.
X = Xtra
he really likes biting your cheeks while making a loud â OMOMOMOMOMOMOM â noise, it makes his heart flutter when he hears your laughs and he just likes how your skin feels in his mouth.
Y = Yuck
he hates smelly things, he would outright reject you if you smelled like wide open ass.
Z = Zzz
he whimpers in his sleep, it doesnât matter if heâs having a bad dream or not heâll just start whimpering and whining. when he does this just put your hand on his forehead and heâll be okay.
#leon scott kennedy#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#re2 leon#re2 remake#re2#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy fluff#kentoballs#leon kennedy x male reader#i think heâs neat#heâs so awkward oh my god
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ik ppl hate fictional deadbeat moms but im an avid enjoyer. my feminism knows no bounds truly/j
like i get it she did a bad job. but shit she still did a job that's for sure!! like. she did it do you understand. 14 year old girl is pregnant. it's disgraceful. a shameful stain on her family. yusuke doesn't seem to have grandparents or anything so besides yusuke's bio dad she's got no one. and then when yusuke is a toddler the father disappears and considering who he is and what he's like that's probably for the best. gonna go out a limb and say that yusuke was maybe 4 or 5 when his dad cleared out so. at 18 and entirely alone. atsuko looked down at this little thing. this baby because he's still a baby to her this is a baby who only has her. Not even 4 feet tall with the biggest brown eyes looking to her for everything because he quite literally has no one else.
he doesn't know she's a failure yet. he doesn't know people will look down on them just because he exists as he is. he doesn't know how hard this is going to be from now on. all he knows is he loves his momma
so she doesn't cry. she just meets his big innocent eyes and goes "it's just you and me kid" and yusuke doesn't know that that's a sad thing.
so she takes care of him the best she can and it still sucks but yusuke doesn't know what the standard she should be held to is yet. for a small time she is the greatest and best person in his world and he's the only one who thinks so
then he meets keiko and her parents and finds out that his normal is actually dysfunctional and that his mom actually isn't all that great. that living day to day in the bottom of a bottle isn't healthy. so she's no longer praiseworthy but this person he's responsible for. just like that the roles reverse. because while she was all yusuke had yusuke is also all atsuko has. he doesn't respect her but he still punched the motherfucker in the mouth that called her a tramp. she taught him how to do it.
atsuko comes to terms with the fact that Yusuke doesn't really need her anymore, probably never did so she doesn't bother to care when he skips school or beats whoever he wants to a pulp or gambles because at 14 she was expecting so what the fuck can she really say about him. he sneers at her as he makes her coffee. atsuko lights another cigarette
it feels like betrayal when her son dies. at 14 she had him so how can he die at a sorry age like that. i wasted my teenage years on you for what? so you can die and leave me here? you fucking brat. how can she recover from this? yusuke was all she had. he hadn't looked up at her with an admiring gaze since he was 7 and stopped hugging her goodbye soon after but still he was hers he was hers and then he was gone
but then he comes back. and she doesn't get much better as a mom or as a person really. she tries harder than before maybe (keeping him in school) but yusuke never expected her to. he's made up of her bad habits and uncaring attitude but he's so much better than her. became something good something strong despite how shitty of a job she did raising him.
she's not proud because she has no right to be but something like it tugs in her chest when she sees him feeding the people he cares about at his little ramen cart looking as happy as the first time she'd taken him out to park.
yusuke's dad suggests taking another crack at the whole family thing and she wants to laugh in his face. the only family she'll ever have is that little boy who's stronger and braver than she'll ever be.
she doesn't want to see him laying cold in a casket ever again. he's meant for life, a soul as bright and durable as his. atsuko hopes he lives to see the sun explode
#atsuko urameshi#yusuke urameshi#yu yu hakusho#atsuko means warm child and i wonder if she was.#your son is sleeping and you're worried he won't wake up because you've seen him laying dead before#it takes her back to when he was small enough to cradle. she'd stay up all night just watching him breathe#because he was just so small and she'd heard about that infant death syndrome thing#and what if he just stopped breathing and she was alone#she's not a good mom but she's still his mom and he loves her even though she fuckin sucks!#also the fact that atsuko has connections to the Yakuza which is how she keeps yusuke in school#And pays their expenses is so crazy to me and also apt lmaoo#the Infamous Urameshis#people fear the very name đ¤#atsuko taught him how to fight you can't convince me otherwise
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thoughts. many thoughts. interesting thoughts. spoilery thoughts!
spoilers for ii2 15 and bfdia 14
ii2 15:
OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDD
the song hopy shit i love inanimate insanity. i will listen to this for five billion years. mepad you are such a real one. tacoâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ EUGH she hates herself she actually thinks she is irredeemable. mepad help her she needs therapy. NFDNWHWBDURBSBS
i was unfortunately spoiled by lightbulb being eliminated, but not baseball. the double elimination was still a surprise
can i mention the fact that lightbulb was crying after going through the portal. SHE MISSED HER FRIENDS SO MUCH EUGUFHHGUG
i hate mephone i hope he explodes /s mephone stop being interesting youâre killing me
suitcase better win. sheâs put up with too much shit to not
bfdia 14:
unfortunately spoiled for pin getting her face/size back BUT NOT THE MECH SUIT BABY LETS GO GIRLY IS BACK. dude coiny he, purposefully stopped the wheel on that slice. he. he could have had her just win the show with that other slice but he didnât because HE KNEW THAT WASNT WHAT SHE WANTED. IM SICK. DONT DM TO ME DONT PREGNANT MAN REACT ME WERE THROUGH /j
i saw taco get new voicelines and smiled reeeeaaaaalll big :))) having the eliminated contestants host was actually really interesting i wonder where theyâre gonna go with that. i wonder how theyre gonna get these guys out of the way for bfdia 15. love that spongy was legit just chillin on the beach love that for him he deserves it
golf ball got eliminated so now i must jump off a bridge. i hate it here. please make far in tpot gb i need you to
this challenge was so fucking funny it makes me want to merge without looking. love that freesmart still look after each other even when split up. love that for them. bubble was here yay! nickel and tb actually have a really good dynamic i hope they keep that pairing into next episode
love it when pin sets the badbitchometer to one billion urck. unfortunately ruby and book are the only ones ufe so now i must jump off a bridge. UGH
nothing here really contradicted my theories so expect evil leafy analysis as soon as i donât have to where this ugly fucking dress shirt anymore
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more soukoku doodles!!
i hate them so much i hope they explode /j
#digital art#drawing#artists on tumblr#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#anime and manga#dazai x chuuya#bungou stray dogs#anime art#gay art
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https://www.tumblr.com/tonybicyclestark/762127755198513152/reviving-my-sideblog-for-ironstrange-i-was-bored?source=share
Oh wow! This is going to be so much fun!!!!! I really like the idea and I am so excited for you and to see where it goes.
Umm I feel like I am spoiled for options there is so much I am curious about. Did they first meet at a conference? Or are we going back to childhood? Ooo I cannot see Stephen being calm about iron man yes tony stark no or well watching the love of his life handle a nuke through the wormhole....but on the flip side imagine tony freaked out of his mind not knowing if stephen is safe in the aftermath. This is going to be sooo good đ so so good
ok so you sent in many questions & scenarios, so ill answer them briefly first.
1. they meet right before IM1 at a medical conference/fundraiser and Stephen was volunTOLD to be there as punishment for something by Metro General and didn't want to be there initially.
2. Let's just say Tony never had the chance to even look at the report because Stephen deemed it not worthy of attention. Even years later, he will GO OFF about that report & Fury at the drop of a hat.
3. Stephen did NOT take the nuke thing lightly.
4. Tony constantly stressed about Steph just as much because Steph (even while being a civilian) wouldn't back down from facing whatever Tony was fighting with him. Here's a ficlet because the inspiration hit me:
"Sir, shall I call Doctor Strange?" JARVIS spoke softer than Tony had ever heard him say before. Tony's heart clenched painfully at the reminder that he's leaving Stephen behind. He'd promised his husband he wouldn't just die on him without telling him again. But he'd hoped he never had to make the call ever. Especially not so soon after the last time. Tony had only wanted more time. God how he wished they'd had more time. That clearly wasn't in the cards for them. He didn't want to make the call but he's promised. It was written into their vows and Tony was nothing if not true to his word, especially to Stephen. "Might as well." Tony stated simply, keeping the fear out of his voice. "Patch in directly to his watch-gauntlet J." Tony knew there was a chance Stephen might not pick up. But he only ever removed the watch gauntlet for surgeries and procedures, so Tony was banking on Stephen still having it on today in this chaos. The call rung for a few seconds as he put all his strength into making the turn up the side of the tower. Just as he almost clipped the building, the call connected, and Stephen's voice came through. "Tony?" Stephen asked quietly, almost as if he'd been holding his breath until then. Tony had never hated himself more than in that moment. He didn't want to say goodbye. "I never wanted to leave you behind. I'm so sorry Stephen" Tony bit out quickly. "Tony? Please don't do this." Stephen rasped. He must have known what Tony was preparing to do then. Tony counted his blessings that he didn't need to explain. "I have to baby. There's no other way. I love you so so much Stephen Strange-Stark." The portal grew closer. "I love you too Anthony Stark-Strange. Please come back-" The call cut off as Tony entered the portal, leaving New York far behind as he ventured into the abyss of space. He let go of the missile when he could no longer hold on, letting go of the only thing that had kept him moving. His eyes stayed locked on the scene before him for a brief few seconds until the ship exploded. With the phantom voice of his husband pleading for him to come home in his ear, Tony shut his eyes. With his last breath, he apologized softly for breaking promises he never should have made in the first place.
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everything i wanted | j. miller | track two
track one | track three | masterlist
bodyguard!joel AU
AU!Joel x singer!f!reader
summary: I'm scared to death I'll scream your name and still there's not a thing I would change. That's okay, but I think about it. rejection never gets any easier, but we all find ways to move on. [w.c: 4.4k]
tags for the series: 18+, minors DNI, angst/fluff/eventual smut, sarah's dead (plot), ellie is alive, parental manipulation/abuse (maternal) (reader is in a classic love bombing abuse cycle please note the mother is not redeemable), depression, drug and alcohol use, sobriety, stalker behaviour from a fan, will update as i go, this ones gonna get dark but it will have the happy feel good too! as always if anything is missing tell me and i will add it!
a/n: i am back from vacation and ready to write the days away. this one is for @tightjeansjavi who keeps me going and reminds me not to quit.
track two - think about it
It always felt weird to record a song that struck a chord close to your heart. You were pulling on the most exhausting day of your life, and it wasnât even entirely yours anymore. It had been polished and produced into something you recognized, but not something you knew and understood. It was a frustrating, but undeniably, good song. It held some of the grit you craved, whilst keeping the image that was carefully curated for you.
Overall it had been a successful morning in the studio and your complaints were for you to bury alone. When everyone had taken a break to grab a coffee and come back with fresh ideas, you stayed behind to send a small clip to your parents.Â
[Audio Message]
Finally a complete song for the deluxe!! Canât wait for you to hear the rest :)Â
Your dad loved the message, all you got back from your mom was a âCall meâ.Â
You sighed making your way out into the hallway where there would be better reception. To no surprise Joel was just outside the door of the studio waiting.Â
âIâm just making a call, uh, to my mom,â you said, not entirely sure why you explained it to him.Â
âDo you want some privacy?â He asked.Â
âOh, oh no, it wonât be long. Sorry, I just didnât know-â you rambled, cut off by your phone buzzing in your hand. You swiped to answer it, now flustered from the most meaningless interaction with Joel.
âHey Mom, Howâd you like the clip?â You asked excitedly.Â
You slowly sat down on the floor across the hallway from Joel.Â
It was something that could go either way, but you were hopeful your excitement would deter a rude remark.Â
âAre you fucking kidding me?â She spat.Â
âWhat?â Your voice dropped, clearly defeated.Â
Joel looked at you perplexed. You just rolled your eyes and sighed.Â
âThis isnât a hit for the deluxe! Telling your fans you hate them is no way to make people WANT to listen to you,â She exploded, completely missing the point of the song.Â
âWell youâve just heard a bit, itâs about more than that.â
âItâs not what itâs about, itâs how itâs perceived.â She was condescending.Â
âOkay, sorry mom.â Your voice broke.
âWell donât make me out to be the bad guy, you asked for my opinion. At the end of the day itâs your album and whether you sink or swim is up to you,â Her tone was sharp and quick. It dug into your mind in a way only she knew how to do.Â
You werenât sure why you put up with her anymore, maybe you felt guilty, maybe she is just under a lot of stress, maybe, maybe, maybeâŚ
âNo, youâre right,â you sighed wiping tears away, âWeâll work on it.âÂ
âLove to hear it sweetie. The next one will be it Iâm sure!â Her tone changed again, giving you emotional whiplash.Â
âI have to go, the studio is going back in.â You lied.
âGo on! Make a hit! I miss you!â She promptly hung up before you could reply.Â
As the call disconnected you felt the tears welling in your eyes spill over. Her words didnât hurt you like they used to, they frustrated you to no end.Â
âFuck,â you whispered.Â
You werenât paying super close attention to your surroundings, but you felt a presence sit next to you on the floor.Â
âHey, hey, it will be okay,â it was Joel talking to you, comforting you.Â
âIâm sorry, she is just so fucking frustrating,â you leaned your head back against the wall.Â
This was so beyond what youâd ever expect of him, but it was comforting nonetheless. Your heart swelled at the sentiment. You werenât one to really crush on anyone, but Joel had this gravity to him that pulled you in.Â
âYouâre okay, she has no idea how amazing it is,â he continued softly. Â
âWhat?â You asked, confused at this new softer side of Joel.Â
âThe song, itâs great. I know people are going to love it.â He offered a small smile.
âWe wonât know until itâs out there,â you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.Â
âWell I know, for a fact, one fourteen year old girl is going to love it,â He continued, âHell Iâll probably hear it so much Iâd pay you to take it off the album for me.âÂ
You offered a sympathetic laugh for his attempt at a joke.Â
âEllie?â You asked.Â
âYeah, the kid loves you, it didnât connect until well⌠we got here.âÂ
âWhat made you finally recognize my music?â You asked out of curiosity.Â
âThe album on the wall, Iâm pretty sure we have it on vinyl. And Iâm fairly certain that vinyl rarely leaves the record player.â He rolled his eyes, they were softer than normal.Â
You werenât sure if it was out of sympathy for your pathetic display, or fondness for discussing his daughter. Either way you liked this side of Joel, it tugged at your heart. His complexities making your mind wander, you want to see him, really know him.Â
âWell, she is welcome here anytime,â you said.Â
You placed a hand on his crossed arms, it sent a chill down your arm and spine. Just a touch sent you into a frenzy. Your hand lingered and the silence drew on for just a moment longer than it needed to. Joel cleared his throat and it brought you back.Â
âThanks, uh, yeah thank you,â he turned away from you standing up.Â
You had stopped crying and stood up to meet Joel.Â
âThanks, for being there. Well, and boosting my ego,â You smiled making your way to the door behind him.Â
âAnytime,â he said with some southern drawl.Â
You didnât spend much more time in the studio that day. Your head wasnât in it anymore and everyone could tell. You also had drinks with James to get ready for. Once everyone called it an early day you headed home to change and get ready for a night out. He didnât say anything the entire way home, just like the day before. Joel followed, he kept his distance, staying in the common spaces looking somehow both devastating and intimidating.Â
âJoel,â you breathed, dizzy and giddy from the atmosphere and the alcohol in your system.Â
When you had agreed to go out, you only committed to one drink. Then one drink turned to four, and pounding back drink after drink made the world fade away. The booth gossip no longer interested you, you took James by the hand and made your way to the dance floor, Joel following suit.Â
âWe should get you home,â he stated, attempting to shuffle you back to the table.Â
âThis could be fun, if you let it! We could make the most of a bad situation!â You threw your head back and laughed.Â
You brushed your hand against his arm. This was bold and unlike you in all aspects, but you were letting go. Letting go of the past 3 days, letting go of the past 5 years, letting go of every rational thought youâve ever had.Â
âNo, you donât know me. Youâre drunk. Iâm here to do a job, nothing more, nothing less.â He pulled away from you and forced you back to the table.Â
âJoel, you donât understand. I havenât felt like this for anyone in a long time and you have to tell me you feel it too.â Your tone growing serious, accusatory.
What he said next sent an arrow straight through your soul. It was sobering and rejection hadnât hit this hard in a long time.Â
âI donât, there is nothing between us. If you got caught up with me that quickly youâll get over it twice as fast.â
His words winded you, you were too drunk to read him, but you tried. There was no sense of regret, mistruth, no sense of anything really. He was cold as the moment you met and it was harrowing. Youâre sure if you were sober youâd see nothing but a cold, uncaring man.Â
You had never felt a pull like this from anyone, and in the short time youâd known one another you desperately wanted to believe he felt it too. Thatâs all it was though, desperation. The first person in so long that made you believe that they might care about you, even if it was just for a paycheck. In less than three days he had treated you like more of a human than half the people you had met in the last five years.Â
âTake me home, now.â You whispered. Unable to look him in the eye.
So he did, like any security detail would, he got you into the car with minimal disruption from paps. Not a word was spoken between you, the silence warped to your despair. Being turned down so blatantly was something you were used to from labels, but never like this. Never with someone you felt such a connection to so quickly.Â
In the car your phone buzzed, you thought it was James asking where you went. It came from an unknown number.Â
You can leave, but I will always followâŚ
It was definitely from the same person, yet you couldnât bring yourself to care. This was your secret to keep. You didnât want to come off as overly dramatic as your mother had previously accused you of doing. So you deleted the message and moved on, it wasnât like it was a note at your door.Â
When you got back to the apartment you made your way to your room without a word, stumbling down the hall. You didnât want to cry, not for this. You wanted to sleep and hoped that this night would become a hazy memory, bound to your drunkenness like a secret.Â
You stared at the bathroom mirror hoping that at the very least you could harness this feeling into capital. The thought made your palms clench and chest tight, you felt like you were suffocating. It sent you into a spiral you hadnât felt in a long time, the fear of failing, not being good enough overwhelming you. This album was eating you alive and all around you you were surrounded by rejection, from Joel, from your mother, from your label; every direction pulled your head below the water in a new way.Â
You hadnât had a panic attack in years. You reached in the cabinet for your meds, you hadnât needed them in so long, but as the tension in your chest began to build you felt yourself slowly losing control.Â
Gripping the counter you let this feeling fester until it slowly passed. All you were left with was the fading buzz of the drinks in your system becoming a sleepy haze you were sure to regret in the morning.Â
The next morning, the night before wasnât brought up. It was almost unnerving how cold Joel was toward you but somehow he came off as indifferent. You knew any trust or relationship you had built was officially gone. Nothing left but ruins in your wake.Â
By noon, he was gone and his relief Will Jones had arrived. Will was an older gentleman who clearly kept up with himself over the years. He was warmer than Joel and would make conversation the same way youâd make it with your dad. You knew youâd get along fine, but he also wasnât Joel.Â
You werenât too keen on conversation, somewhere between the dull ache in your chest and your hangover youâd forgotten
your kindness. So Jones gave you your space and you worked on your music.Â
And thatâs how it went⌠for three weeks youâd rotate between Joel and Will. Not saying much to either of them. Wake up, go to the studio, get nothing done, go out and forget your frustrations, and repeat. Three weeks of failure in the day forgotten with a bender in the night.Â
Texts would come through, always from a different number. Always along the lines of missing you and loving you, never threatening you. You never thought much of them and always kept them to yourself deleting them soon after they came in.Â
You were falling apart and didnât think anyone was going to notice. No one ever had before and there wasnât anyone close enough to you to care.Â
You felt stuck creatively, nothing you were making was impressing producers enough. You felt stuck personally, forever between a rock and a hard place. Your mother berating you for coming up with nothing, receiving a cold shoulder from Joel who you had only grown more fond of, feeling so isolated and alone even though this is what youâve always dreamed of. You should be grateful for everything you have, but it came at the expense of your soul.Â
It had been a particularly bad night for you, Will was with you tonight and you had gotten particularly clobbered. It was messy and no one was brave enough to stop you. You felt the eyes and phones on you and it was the moment you knew this was going to be a mess your team would have to clean up. Your carefully curated image of a humble small town artist was being thrown out the window. Just one night where the eyes at the bar looked a little too closely, they found out a little too much about you. It would all come crashing down in just a few short hours.Â
âGet me out of here,â You said to Will, pulling on his sleeve like a toddler.
âLetâs go,â He quickly shuffled you out of the bar and to a car that was waiting outside.
The paparazzi were insane this time around and you had never felt so scared. The word mustâve already been out where you were and everyone wanted the shot that would destroy your image. It was worth so much more than a photo of you leaving the studio, or on a pre planned date with another emerging artist.Â
The flashes made you nauseous and the banging on the windows and shouting from outside the vehicle had installed a new type of fear and anxiety within you. You clenched your fists and loved your eyes solely focusing on your breathing and heart rate. It was hard to focus in with all the noise around you and you knew that if their cameras got the shot it was going to be messy but you had to calm down.Â
Eventually your car had made it through the mob of people and back to your apartment. You needed to collapse in bed, just sleep and forget everything. As soon as you came through the door you made your way to bed, fully clothed, make-up on, and began scrolling through twitter. Of course there were photos of you from tonight that had begun circling. TMZ was already spinning a story about how you had flown off the handle, with a full segment to come in the morning. Daily Mail had jumped on an article too in the forty minutes it took you to get home.Â
Just like that it had all come crashing down so fast. Maybe it was the attention you had wanted, maybe not. Something about having your image fall apart and the world watching you come undone was cathartic and yet you didnât feel any better. You knew you were making a mess for someone else to clean up. You were still buzzed beyond your capacity to form a coherent thought about the repercussions you would face. You knew what was to come and yet, in your state, couldnât bring yourself to care. So in the most pathetic attempt to make the pain go away, you fell asleep.
Someone had woken you up the next morning, it didnât feel like you had slept for very long. It could also be that you had slept a long time, you were just hungover. You rubbed your eyes which had felt extremely dry, and when you looked at your hands the black smears of mascara reminded you of the night before. You had fallen asleep without even making an attempt at getting ready for bed. You had never felt so disgusting, youâre sure you were a pitiful sight.Â
âWhat time is it?â You croaked.Â
âItâs nine in the morning.â A voice you hadnât expected said.Â
âMom?â You questioned fully opening your eyes and looking at where the voice had come from.Â
There she was in the flesh. She looked as if she had just walked off the page of a magazine, not a single piece out of place.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â You sat up and questioned. Your head was pounding and you struggled to put the pieces of why she would show up unannounced together.Â
âI flew out as soon as I saw what was going on on twitter,â She started, âAnd Iâm glad I did. This was the first thing I saw when I landed this morning.âÂ
She stood and stalked toward you dropping a tabloid paper on the end of your bed.Â
There you were in all your drunken glory, right on the front page, trying to escape the bar the night before. You flip to the article which basically called you out for cracking under the pressure of fame. Maybe they were right, you had reached your tipping point of rejection.Â
You couldnât stop what came next, but everything just came crashing down. And as if you were a kid again your mom came to your side and wrapped herself around you.Â
She whispered that it would be okay, and how proud she was of you and for a moment you believed her. It didnât matter what her motives were, whether or not she just wanted you back in the studio. It was nice to feel like someone cared, youâd been so surrounded by ghosts who didnât give a shit about you to sit and be held and be told your love was enough to forgive her all over again. These were the tender moments you clung to for dear life. Without them there would be no one left to care about you, and you would fade away.
âCome on, letâs get you ready to go,â she said when you had started to calm down.Â
There it was, she wanted you back into the studio to capitalize on this. For the moment you could forget about that though, because at least she was here, at least she cared.Â
Within the hour you had made it to the studio and started tweaking some of the songs you had worked on before. Your mom had made herself brief and was on the next flight back to New York. Her work was done and you had been put on a strict studio to home lockdown by your team. It was for the best.Â
The morning in the studio had been weird, Will and Joel were supposed to switch off today and as the day grew later you wondered if Joel had finally thrown in the towel. Just as your mind got away from you he came in flustered with a kid in tow.Â
âThanks for covering for me man,â He said to Will.
He turned to you and looked apologetic, âIs it okay if Ellie sticks around today? She got into trouble at school and my brother was already at work, no one was available to watch the kid this short notice?âÂ
âOh yeah, of course!â You smiled and said a little too cheer-y.
Joel looked at you for a second longer than comfortable and his eyes grew softer. He was reading you like a book. Youâre sure you didnât look great but no one had made a note of how miserable you looked.Â
âThanks,â he stepped toward you.Â
âYou alright?â He spoke softly, looking directly at you.Â
You melted away at his concern, you felt like you were the only person in the world. His features grew soft just for you and all the feelings you tried so hard to get rid of had pushed their way to the surface again.Â
âYeah, I will be,â And just for a second you believed it.Â
Your focus came back to the room and the young girl shifted behind Joel.Â
âHi! Ellie, so nice to finally meet you! Iâve heard so much about you!â you stood and made your way to her.Â
Ellie then smiled so big and beamed your way. You pulled her into a hug and she reciprocated. When you pulled away you could tell she was just buzzing.Â
âIâm such a huge fan,â She said.Â
âSo Iâve heard. I hear youâre also quite the guitar player?â You looked at Joel who was smiling fondly at the interaction between the two of you.Â
âIâm alright,â She said shyly.Â
âWell, I have a song I need some help with so letâs see what youâve got?âÂ
You and Ellie took a seat on the couch, you were excited to introduce someone to this world. You always felt like the one who knew the least but you could see the light and excitement in her eyes.Â
âSo I usually try to tell a story, pull from hardships in my life,â you explained.Â
âOh,â Ellie said and shifted a bit uncomfortable.Â
âYou donât have to though? Is there anything you feel you want to get out in the world?â You asked.Â
âWell,â Ellie hesitated, âI guess there is one thing, thatâs kinda bugging me.âÂ
âOkay?â you pressed.Â
âSee, thereâs this, uh, girl. She isnât out yet but we were together for a bit.. and uh, well she ended things but I still have feelings for her.â Ellieâs demeanor changed and became disheartened.Â
âWait, I actually think I have something you might be able to help me finish,â you said frantically digging in your bag for your notebook.Â
And thatâs how it started. You and Ellie spent the day writing a melancholy love song together. Little did she know the piece you had written was for her father.Â
The song spoke of the one person who could derail your whole life if they wanted and you had so much fun writing and recording with Ellie. She even helped with the harmonies and the production. It was a great song and throughout the whole process you and Joel shared knowing looks with one another. For a moment there was a sense of understanding and forgiveness between you.
You wanted to grip onto this moment and never let it go. Forget all the scandal, the fear, the things that got you into this position and just hold onto the feeling of understanding between you, Ellie and Joel.Â
All good things must come to an end though, as Ellie left with her uncle so did the warmth that Joel carried. You felt as if you were back at square one and there was nothing you could do about it.Â
The drive home was quiet and uncomfortable as it had been the night he turned you down, but you couldnât figure out why.Â
When you returned to the apartment it was so quiet. You and Joel hadnât spoken much in the last three weeks but this silence was deafening. There was so much you both wanted to say but neither of you could find the words.Â
âGoodnight, Joel,â You said quietly, getting ready to take your leave.Â
âYâknow I saw the pictures from last night?â He said and you were taken aback.Â
âIâm sorry?â You tensed, not needing a reminder of your downfall.Â
âI saw them all, you dancing with those random guys. Shit faced beyond yourself. I couldnât help but blame myself,â He looked at his feet.Â
âJoel itâs not your-â
âI lied to you,â he cut you off.
âOh?âÂ
âThree weeks ago, I lied to you and told you I didnât feel anything. I donât know if you were being truthful or if you were just drunk, but I felt that connection too.â He admitted.
You were left speechless.Â
âI lied because I have a job to do, and I have to keep you safe. I couldnât risk that for what I thought was just a fleeting moment of attraction. Seeing you last night though? That nearly killed me. I wanted to rip their damn heads off, the men, the paps, all of them.â
He sighed and continued, âI care about you, I care about the way you feel. I want to know you, I want you to care about me and thatâs fucking terrifying.âÂ
âJoel,â you said barely above a whisper, not sure what to believe.Â
You hadnât realized it but he had made his way to you, and once you noticed his presence was suffocating.Â
âI want to keep you safe. After seeing you with Ellie today I donât want to wonder what could have been. I need to know.â He looked right at you, moving a piece of hair away from your face. Gently cupping your cheek.Â
âJoel, Iâm a mess.â You turned away from him. âThe whole reason youâre here is fucked up, and I clearly am not one to handle things well. Iâm so fucking scared and I-âÂ
Before you could continue his lips found yours and you were pulled into an all encapsulating kiss. The way his lips moved against yours was like a man starved. It was delicate but desperate all the same. You sighed against him and he wrapped his hand around your waist gripping you close. It said everything you couldnât say to one another. Nothing had ever felt more right and for the first time in so long you had felt safe, like everything was going to be ok.Â
When you finally pulled apart his hand lingered on your waist and you knew there would be so much to discuss in the days to come. Now was not the time though, the what ifs, and logistics could come later. For now you were wrapped in the bliss of the truth, the safety of your apartment, and the idea that this moment was just for you.Â
âGoodnight, Joel,â you smiled, and kissed him on the cheek.Â
âGoodnight, darlinâ,â he said and released his hands from your waist.Â
You were on cloud nine as you got ready for bed, tired from the emotions of the day and still nursing a wicked hangover.Â
Just as you were getting ready for bed another text from an unknown number came through. Your heart stopped and elation came crashing down.Â
How could you?Â
tags: @pedgeitopascal @morning-star-joy @canseethebrushstrokes @skysmiller @contemplatingchemtrails @kyloispunk @skythighs @reader-without-a-story @aryastark-baratheon @thetriumphantpanda @ilovepedro @beskarandblasters @joelsversion once again i am horrid at tag lists but happy to make an attempt at adding u <3
#joel miller x you#joel miller au#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller angst#joel miller fic#tlou fic#joel miller
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"should i listen to mcr so i understand what apollo mikey borateen ipaddresson iii is talking about"
i ask myself as another piece of media is added to the list /silly /lh
HHAHAHAH
If I'm remembering correctly it was there before
I hate this band I hope they explode do NOT LIsten to them /j /silly /sarcasm /affectionate
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