#i hate them and i suck at them which is partially why i don't like the whole game much despite liking the first stage

[tiktowafel]

personal lore dump for Shihai Kuroiro!! (where i'm probably a little mean to him but it's out of love guys i swear)

verrry late for his birthday but it's here!! :] love this kid. so many thoughts about him to share

i'll just start with the part that i find the most important - the core of his character, to me, is that he is not what he says he is and not what he desperately tries to convince himself and everyone else that he is.

i'm mostly basing this off of how ultra analysis gives him one of the two lowest wits scores in his class (as shown above) despite the fact that he calls himself "the scheming hero" and spends half his joint training match dramatically talking about trickery and psychological traps - while i like to ignore canon sometimes, this little piece of information is something i could never disregard. it's so endearing to me, plus him apparently trying really hard to seem way cooler than he actually is fits with the chuunibyou archetype he's supposed to represent.

severe headcanon territory & a generally slightly lengthy textpost under the read more lol

now, why do i hc he's that way in the first place? well, basically: his whole life he's admired underground heroes very strongly and ended up developing this very idealized mental picture of the perfect underground hero - a mysterious lonely mastermind who hides in the shadows and avoids the spotlight, quietly pulling all the strings and relying on plans and schemes instead of a powerful quirk and flashy moves. but despite all the dirty tricks they're capable of, their heart is in the right place - in fact in a way their motivations are far more noble than those of all the popular celebrity heroes, because they don't care about fame or recognition, they act out of a genuine want to do good. this is what Kuroiro aspires to be and what he bases his entire persona on, pretty much.

and that's because this is also the only kind of hero he could ever identify with - he was always an odd, withdrawn kid who had trouble making friends. he couldn't see himself in all those shiny charismatic always-in-the-spotlight heroes that everyone else seemed to love. so when he learned about underground heroes, he fell in love instantly and decided this is who he wanted to be, over time forming this perfect underground hero image to set as his goal.

except, again, a lot of traits possessed by this ideal of a hero aren't really in line with what Kuroiro himself actually is. he's nowhere this badass. he's nowhere this smart. he kinda sucks at this whole scheming thing actually! he's sneaky, sure, that's by nature of his quirk - but his schemes are way less elaborate than he likes to make them seem, most of the time they're just ways for himself to catch people off guard. he doesn't have the multi-step coordination-based planning capablity of Kendo or Tokage, the adaptability of Honenuki or the sheer sophistication of Monoma (note that almost all of 1-b's plan during joint training match 2 was invented by Kendo and Kuroiro's only strategic contribution was tricking 1-a into thinking he was gonna target Tokoyami so he could ambush Aoyama instead - which is something yeah but still nothing particularly complicated). and he hates that about himself, because intelligence is something that he values and admires so so much - so he exaggerates his strategic prowess a lot, with his hero title and dramatic speeches and all, and does everything in his power not to be perceived as stupid (often failing miserably). it's out of insecurity.

he's also not that much of a lone wolf, either. he does have a strong tendency to isolate himself from others, which is partially because he's convinced himself that he's destined to walk a lonely path in life & content with it (what's a better way of coping with your childhood loneliness than romanticizing it) and partially because the fact that he's constantly putting up a facade does by itself kinda prevent him from forming proper relationships, BUT he's not really happy this way. he's introverted but ultimately not meant to be alone. he does need friends! and he does wish for a romantic relationship, too! but, of course, he sucks at managing those feelings, as we can judge by his interactions with Kinoko and his general incapability of normally talking to girls mentioned in ultra analysis.

i actually really like that he has a crush on Kinoko specifically because it plays really well into everything that i said earlier in this post! remember that something he admires a lot about underground heroes is that they don't care about fame and recognition, and therefore in his view have the most genuine motivations? i like to believe that odd as it is, he actually has a very strong moral compass and greatly values selflessness. so, imagine how he feels when he learns that Kinoko, whom he already has a crush on because she's cute and she's nice to him and she has a really cool quirk (something something mushrooms like darkness so they must be meant to be), wants to be an idol hero. bro's devastated. those people are the epitome of modern hero society's shallowness and superficiality, and she wants to be one! she apparently wants to spend her precious time doing silly little dance routines and shaking people's hands at conventions instead of dedicating it all to proper hero work! and Kuroiro still has a crush on her! that witch...!

and you see, Kinoko isn't actually a shallow person. what motivates her to become and idol hero isn't selfishness (refer to my old Kinoko headcanon list - some things in there are a tiny bit outdated but my headcanon on why she wants to be an idol is still the same!). except Kuroiro doesn't get to know that at first so he remains bewildered and conflicted for quite some time - and i just think that's funny y'know? he eventually learns more about her (second hand, they don't directly talk to each other much, in canon i think Kinoko doesn't even pay much attention to him in general 😭) and starts to change his mind, probably falling even harder in the process - but still the whole thing is complete disaster on his side. he was always shy around her, now there's also... all this, no wonder he can't talk to her at all!!

so, to sum it up: Kuroiro is intense, he's surprisingly idealistic, he's tragically insecure, and he has some very rigid ideas about himself and the world around him that he probably needs to let go of. he's just a mess of a teenager with a lot of to figure out - and he does figure it out, he does get his happy ending eventually! (a conversation with Kinoko, among other things, is something that definitely would be a crucial part in his,, character arc, i guess? and y'know what, while i do really like them as a couple, i think them just getting to talk things out is a "happy ending" regardless of whether they end up together)

OH and by the way: i'm not saying that he's like, going against himself at all times! he's not an actual master schemer or a complete lone wolf but a lot of things about how he acts are perfectly genuine. his affinity for all things dark is genuine, his interest in taboos is genuine, and his love for theatrics is also genuine! in that matter, it's actually not a phase lol he's just like that :] would be blasphemous to say otherwise, that's what we all love him for..!

aaand this concludes my little essay about one of my favorite 1b kids!! the picture of him that i have in my head is very clear, that's why he's the first character that i chose to write this kind of post about - i'm just pretty confident about the hcs i have for him haha. i'm also thinking about writing a more lighthearted list of hcs to complete the vision (ya know, like the good ol days) because there's STILL so much that i haven't shared since it didn't fit this post - so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this!! see you next month probably

[flash-from-the-past]

Cube Escape: Case 23

[fromabasementonthehilll]

My Girlfriend Is a Witch (pt.1)

͙⁺･༓☾ - Summary: after finding the cabin, lottie ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎had begun acting weirder than usual.

Pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader

Warnings: ...

Pt.2

a/n: thinking of making this into 2 or 3 parts?? this is more of a build up so I'm sorry if it's a bit slow!

∘₊✧────────────────────✧₊∘

It had been a week, maybe more, after the crash. You counted the days - believing it wasn't long until you would all be found and saved. Everyone followed the same belief, but it slowly began to lose its appeal as the days got longer and there was no promise of rescue, and you had lost track anyway.

Misty had treated you alongside everyone else, she wrapped your gashed shoulder up with a bandage out of some emergency aid kit in the planes cabinet, which you had been unwrapping everyday to keep clean. It was fine at first, but the shortages of antibiotics and extra bandages had it healing much slower than it should've, it hurt like a bitch and you were putting up the best 'tough' act you could to avoid adding anymore stress to the situation.

You sat outside of the cabin on a broken log, setting up fire to cook dinner, faintly smelling the herbs in the air that Mari managed to find whilst the others were either doing laundry or getting water from the nearby lake. Lottie hadn't been doing much, though. Her mind was in a different place ever since the crash, you noticed as she began to act differently recently, but you thought nothing of it - everyone else had been stressed, unorganised and tired, so why would it be out of the ordinary for Lottie to feel the same?

You and Lottie began dating a month before the flight, she had confessed to you one day after practice - you watched panic on her face as she barely managed to get her words out, before you laughed in reassurance and told her you felt the same way. Neither of you had told anyone about your relationship and wanted to keep it that way - it wouldn't benefit you or her.

"Hey, you okay?" she came up to you, sitting on the log opposite of the one you sat on, her expression ardent each time she saw you.

"Yeah, is Shauna done with the meat yet?" You asked, feeling hunger eat away at your stomach. "No I don't think so, she's trying to get Jackie to do something," she explained, "I'm sure she'll be done by the time you set up the fire, though." you nodded, giving up on rubbing sticks for the time being. "You look real good for someone who's stranded in the wilderness, y'know" she laughed, watching you trying to rub off the ash from last nights fire, "Shut up, Lottie" you teased with the same toothy smile she loved.

It took you a while to get used to the new situation, though more often than not you were helping around with things. In around 5th grade your parents thought it was a good idea to get you into girl scouts, you partially hated them for it - the uniform sucked and you'd always be covered in dirt. You had been mentally reciting the folklore stories told by the counsellors; as the wilderness caved in some of your old memories, often wondering if they had any truth to them. You stayed there until you turned 14, learning a bunch of survival skills that you brushed off as stupid, it was ironic how useful they were now.

"Lot, how are you?" You hadn't asked that in ages, too preoccupied with surviving, just as everyone else had been. Lottie's breath hitched, knowing she wasn't fine at all, considering her meds ran out. "I'm fine, I just missed you (y/n)." She smiled sheepishly, suppressing the doubt she had in her own words. She truly did miss you, the distance that brewed between you two wasn't as bad as it could've been, but she needed you the most right now.

You could sense her unease, standing up to sit next to her, "You can talk to me, you know that right?" You moved your hand towards hers, smiling warmly as you looked at each other. her eyes were filled with anguish, her jaw clenching before she spoke,

"Promise you won't think I'm weird?"

"I promise."

You leaned towards her, watching as she tucked her hair behind her ear before letting loose of her worry, "I've had these strange visions," Her gaze was diverted to the floor, "and I've been hearing things." she shook her head in disbelief, almost shocked; confused. "What kind of visions?" You kept your eyes on her, not thinking any less of her. "I don't know, it's like I can see what happens before it happens." She gave you a sorry look, you opened your mouth to speak before being interrupted by Shauna, "Here." Jackie stood behind her as Shauna handed you the meat, looking at it in complete disgust.

Lottie wasn't given the opportunity to offer you an explanation, but it made sense to you, considering her strange act for the past week.

-

The night grew colder than the last, you had been sleeping in the attic with lottie for the past few days to prove it wasn't haunted, and you struggled to keep heat upstairs. "Just sleep here, near the fire." Shauna stated after you had tried to haggle for more blankets, you refused, though, wanting to spend more time with Lottie and keep an eye on her after she had opened up to you. "well feel free to come downstairs, there's always room." she finished, laying down the pillows.

You climbed the ladder to see lottie already there, facing the window - illuminated by the moon and stars. sitting behind her, you spoke, "Another vision?" It was a couple days after she had spoken to you about them, and she told you what she could. They weren't too frequent, but when they happened you'd stay close to her.

"I heard a baby crying this time, it went on and off for a while, but I cant figure it out." Her words were cold and hurt. You were the only one who knew about her newfound state, since you swore not to tell anybody to avoid Lottie seeming crazy to the others, and that's why you tried your best to understand, to help her. but often your help was useless, you figured it might've just been a trauma response to the crash, and you stuck around. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders, hugging her from behind, bringing your body close to hers and resting your head on the back of her neck.

"Things'll gonna be okay, Lottie." Your voice was warming, bringing slight comfort to her discomfort.

You two sat there for a while, your eyes resting as she gazed at the night sky, before she turned to face you. "What if they won't be?" She bit her lip, making constant eye contact with you. She'd wear your jewellery often, you assumed it just got lost in the crash until you noticed, but she just wanted you close to her when you weren't around, and talking to each other for more than a minute was rare lately, so she had resorted to constant distress and longing.

She couldn't risk hurting you as a result of her own disturbance, just like she had before, and she subconsciously needed your reassurance that things wouldn't go that way.

"Why would you think that?" You shook your head, seeing Lottie avert her gaze to your shoulder, "Because things haven't been in our favour for a while." Her feelings were daunting to figure out, you looked up at her with sad yet hopeful eyes. "Stressing about it isn't gonna make it any better, Lot." You chuckled lightly, sensing tension brewing and wanting to avoid her mind going back into the dark place it would often wander to. She smiled in return, her eyes softening at your remark. "Hey do you remember when we would go on those road trips? you'd be so tired driving, I'd have to remind you not to crash into a tree" Lottie spoke, you saw her jaw soften and heard her laugh filling the wooden room, "And you would play shitty music just to rile me up," You added, "What?? I played it because I liked those songs (y/n), don't judge me,"

You two would often drive to seattle in your old beaten up sedan to visit your family, though you'd always make sure to turn it into a full blown camping roadtrip each time - since Washington was on the complete opposite side of New Jersey.

"You think we can go again after we're back home?" It didn't even cross your mind that Lottie thought there was chance of rescue, you were taken aback for a moment. When Lottie was with you something would alter inside of her, as if everything negative she ever believed had dissipated, you gave her hope.

"We'll go wherever you want."

She smiled a moment before her eyes looked up to yours and then down to your lips - then back to your eyes again, she kissed you and you could've sworn you felt religion in her lips; how they caressed yours with trails of grace.

-

"Are you fucking kidding me lottie?? what's gotten into you?" A riled up voice spat under lottie who had just stood there. "Nat, calm down." Shauna intervened, you walked out of the cabin, rubbing your puffy eyes as they adjusted to the light, woken by the voices after the best sleep you'd had in a while. "What's going on?" You looked towards Nat and Lottie.

"Lottie's acting like she's in The Craft or something, sort her out before she casts a spell on one of us." Natalie faced you with annoyance, your bottom lip slightly hung out - still half asleep. Everyone knew something was up with Lottie after she bashed her head into the window, it wasn't that much of a secret after all. Most were worried and you could tell, and so Natalie's reaction had you confused, you looked around to see everyone waiting for your response.

"She's been through a lot, like the rest of us. just leave her alone, Nat." You sighed, everyone went back inside - Natalie flailing her arms as you gestured for Lottie to follow you somewhere deeper into the forest. "What happened? are you okay?" You stopped amongst the woods, "Yeah, fine." she looked distressed and distant, crossing her arms, "Just ignore her, she didn't mean it," Lottie cut you off as her rushing thoughts came out,

"But what if she's right? what if I really am going crazy?"

"You're not crazy Lottie, you're just as fucked as the rest of us, nothing more." Your reassurance seemed to get through to her, your words meant the world to her and you knew it.

"You don't think there's something wrong with me?" Her face was almost pale, skin rough and almost loving eyes.

"Oh my god, of course not," you faltered into a feathery smile, "You're perfect, Lottie." You watched as her face began to regain her warm colour, softening at your words. Sometimes it felt like the world stopped around you when you were near her, you would've done anything - just to see her okay again, and she would've done anything to see you carefree and happy, just like you used to be.

She looked to the ground, laughing in relief while small tears left her eyes. "And I'm the sappy one?"

"Yeah okay, I'm not the one who wrote a love letter as an apology," She slapped your shoulder and you kept giggling like a maniac, before you were stopped dead in your tracks by Misty carrying an empty water bucket, "Are you two planning on helping?" One hand on her hip and the other holding out the bucket, "It's unfair to think you're exempt from helping when we should all be-"

"Jeez okay we'll fill it up." Lottie suppressed her laughter the best she could, running to take the bucket from an impatient Misty.

After getting back to the cabin, you settled on the living room floor with a blanket and a book. You never read books much before, however somehow it had become a routine by now.

"What're you reading?" Lottie asked, sliding down next to you.

"To the Lighthouse, Virgina Woolf. I found it in one of the drawers in the attic."

"Any good?" You never took Lottie as a reader, her interests only really came to surface when you would talk about yours, "I'll finish it and let you know." You looked at her with a smile, closing the book and resting it to the side for the time being.

-

Your mouth was filled with sickening sweetness as you chewed on the last of your food, which just happened to be the gummies your mom packed you 'for the road'.

There was no food left, and your hunger began to yearn for something else - someone else.

And her winter was cursed with your bewitchment,

the loving haze which she had caused upon you herself.

[sprunki-hcs]

I don't think that horror mode ACTUALLY actually happened. It was just a series of nightmares that everyone remembers as if it happened in the real world.

For context, the whole cast lives in a HUUUUUGE house owned by Wenda and Black caused the nightmares. Note that they are unable to die in the nightmares.

Wenda is from a SUPER wealthy family and inherited the mansion from a distant relative who included her in his/her will for whatever reason. So here she is with this HUGE house with like 15 vacant rooms. Of course, she's lonely (but that's because she is a serious jerk.) so she rents out the rooms for MUCH LOWER than how much rent usually is for a tiny apartment. Little does she know, there's an old basement dwelling spirit who does nothing but watch TV all day (Black) living in the mansion.

So for starters, Wenda is really snobby and just a passive aggressive jerk to everyone. Which is why she has no friends. She was basically like "hey I'm renting out these rooms in my mansion for like 300 bucks a month PLEASE I'M SO LONELY!" In horror mode (nightmare) she took her anger out on everyone cuz she knew she was dreaming and pretty much became mad with power.

Grey is just some dog who takes pictures at really awkward angles and posts them to Myspace. He's usually just quiet when he's home. But when he's at a show he's a different story. He "survived" the nightmares because he hid in the basement the entire time.

Garnold is a HUGE robotics geek and a big music producer as well. Like, making Fun Bot with Clukr was their Magnum Opus. They also programmed Fun 'Puter using an old monitor they found at a thrift store. They eventually built a suit for themself, making a sort of mechanism so they can lift heavy stuff without many issues. When they go to events with Simon, everyone is impressed by their suit. In the nightmare, said strength mechanism went haywire and crushed them in their suit.

Clukr is the "maid" of the house. He cleans up everything because nobody else does a good enough job according to him. He is OBSESSED with routine, so everyone thought it would be a good idea to let him do planning for the constant parties being held at the mansion. It was in fact, NOT a good idea. He's stressed all of the time but he's such a people pleaser, too. He has a slight (and by slight I mean HUGE) crush on Garnold. In the nightmares, he found Garnold frozen stiff on a hill, and when he went to check on them, a piece of their suit flung right into his head.

Raddy is SUPER, SUPER hateful. He hates Jevin and Tunner and misgenders Garnold and Sky constantly. If he's not playing video games in the basement, he's at the gym. In the nightmares, he was subject to a mob beating after he called Brud the r-bomb.

Oren is just... An alien dude I guess. He watches "indie" films, listens to "indie" music, and has anything with "indie" in the name. He goes to the skatepark with Grey and teaches him how to skate. He and Simon share a room, and of course, there is roommate drama. In the nightmares, he just got messed up by Wenda for some petty reason.

Simon is ALSO an alien guy. He goes to a TON of raves and has flyers strewn across his wall. Oren complains about him leaving dead glowsticks all over the floor but he's like, "whatever." He's super nice and gives out bracelets to everyone. In the nightmares, he got "corrupted." He can't see, but he can sense who is around him.

OWAKCX is some humanoid thing. His room resembles that of the inside of a rusty trailer. Sucks that Clukr's room is right next door to this guy. He is probably on everything you can think of on the top of your head. He actually got into rehab once, but they kicked him out because he was being super creepy to everyone around him. He also cheats on Vineria. A lot. In the nightmares he was partially skinned by Wenda (by Vineria's request.)

Speaking of Vineria, she's also humanoid-ish. She's super connected with nature, and has a full on greenhouse going on in her room. She has an elitist attitude when it comes to using all-organic stuff, and she even told of Pinki for wearing makeup once. Her nightmare version was caused by a corruption. She can't see, but unlike Simon, she can't sense people or objects around her.

Sky is a runaway who found the mansion after taking a bus to who knows where. Tunner opened the door to them and was like, "WENDY (sic), WE GOT ANOTHER CHILD!" They used to live with their SUPER unsupportive parents and decided to run away after they overheard them sending them to camp. After about two years of living at the mansion, Garnold and Clukr pretty much became their parental figures. In the nightmare, Sky was trying to defend themself against Wenda and a whole bunch of sharp pipes fell on them.

Jevin is a humanoid-type thing. He bottles up his emotions a lot and barely lets them show. He has industrial metal posters hung up in his room, but under his bed is a different story. He has a bunch of vintage Barbies and a pride flag under it. He keeps it secret because of Raddy's constant hostility towards him as well as the fact he wants to keep up his spooky/dark image. He "survived" the nightmares cuz instead of hurting him physically, Wenda decided to mess with him mentally. I'll explain this when I get to Tunner.

Durple is just your average fast-food drone who hates his life. He's also a water-dragon of some sort. He can breathe underwater so he has to clean up the pool despite him stating several times that he can't breathe in water that is full of chlorine. He also does dares and is MESSED UP after every party hosted at the mansion. He got corrupted in the nightmares. The following morning, he would slowly type, "Dream of.... Jaw... Being dislocated....... Meaning."

Pinki is a SUUUUUPER girly girl. She hosts tea parties all of the time and knows where to get the best party decorations! She's also a good baker and the designated cook of the house. She's also amazing at sewing (though Vineria is better than her), and made Kevin's cloak. In the nightmare, her face was ripped off by Wenda because she was jealous of her relationship status, as well as her beauty.

Tunner is a lizard-type guy who just keeps everyone from danger. He bottles up like Jevin, but he isn't afraid to show his anger, especially against Raddy. He also complains about people having too much screen time despite him being on level 9264 of Candy Crush LOL. He also gets everyone's names wrong (he called Jevin "Kevin" when they first met. He even called Durple "Spyro" once.) He was shot by his own gun in the nightmare. Wenda just thought his accent (which was kind of exaggerated) annoying and he was like "WENDY WHY IS THE SKY RED" and shot him. She then thought of Jevin (hurting him physically would do nothing.) and decided to drag Tunner's almost-corpse over to Jevin just to mess with him.

Fun Bot and Fun-Puter were unscathed but traumatized, despite not having the brains to actually have dreams. Not even Garnold knows how they were able to recall events from the nightmares.

Sooooo.... How did the nightmares happen in the first place? When Sky first moved in, they wanted to live in the basement for some reason. When they were moving their stuff downstairs they found Black with its face taped to the TV watching the series finale to the universe-equivalent of "The Young and the Restless". And Black got distracted by Sky RIGHT when the big twist ending happened, and it got REALLY mad about it. So as punishment they subjected all of the residents to 14 nights of nightmares.

Feel free to ask questions about these hcs, I'll gladly answer them with a reblog.

I'm also sorry that this is super long.

-PPK 🌈💚

read all of them and they were all FIRE 💜

[zoroara]

Okay here's probably a surprise from someone who like Squalo so fucking much. I actually believe Squalo should lose the rain battle as he does(or if one goes about changing it that he should still lose in the end due to how he is). I will go into it below but it is going to be so fucking long. This is both breaking down the "realism" argument and the "Narrative" argument(though, this battle should honestly only be looked through the latter lens due to that being the purpose of it.) Anyway, let's break it down.

First and for most I'm going to attack the idea that because Squalo is more skilled he should not have lost "realistically", important thing to know, in any realistic scenario Squalo almost definitely would not win.

He is only a threat because of the fact that Yamamoto is new, Squalo's sword is literally without a doubt, shit. I have to be level about this because I hate this fucking thing with a passion because from a sword fighting perspective he has done literally everything wrong with this damn thing.

The only type of blade like this that had been intended to be fought with is a Calvary weapon, it isn't made for melee and genuinely just. Sucks when you use it like he is. It severely limits his options, trapping him to only using the exact same arm with the exact same maximum strength behind each swing, with the exact same maximum length. The ability to switch between one handed and two handed is a massively important thing with swords which is why smaller swords that you can do both with were the most common type. It keeps pressure on your opponent and gives you a much bigger variety of options. Not to mention with how it's attached to his hand in the past and future with what is only bandages in the present, and only a few red straps in the future.

This shit is so god damn unstable it's impressive his sword didn't just fly off when he blocked a hit. Do the same thing with some tape and a ruler and you'll know exactly how quick that blade will shift at the smallest amount of resistance that any strike with it would have landed lighter than intended, and I don't mean lighter in terms of strength behind it(though it would be partially). I mean all his cuts would end up shallow, he'd be incredibly ineffective. This is literally the second worst blade of khr and this one unlike that one isn't made of flame so it has no excuse(apologies this sword pisses me off to no end). You have to fundamentally change how this fucking sword is built for it to be even fucking slightly good, this ain't it chief.

Next, here's a major things, there is a reason there is a saying "The first best swordsman doesn't have to to fear the second best, he has to fear the beginner" because it's fundamentally true. Squalo would never fear fighting another master because masters have all become set in their ways, their techniques, you can read them and break into their weaknesses. But, Yamamoto isn't a master, and throughout the battle, he is evolving rapidly. Squalo by the end of the battle relies incredibly on the things that he had seen before, he threw out his caution because he "seen it before" by the point of Yamamoto throwing out the eighth move.

Squalo had grown too used to being able to read his opponent that when he saw Yamamoto going for something new, he instead relied on things he's seen before, things he expected, a surprise attack, which was his downfall, he had stopped taking Yamamoto seriously after the 8th form.

He had prosthetic, to snap backwards in case of sneak attacks, because he expected this move so much. When something wasn't as he expected he defaulted to this and the reflection on the water convinced him of it.

You can't read a newbie and that's what's the most terrifying thing for a master to fight. In fact, it's implied that Squalo beat Tyr the very same way as Yamamoto defeated him. It's stated that in the same battle as Tyr that he perfected his current style, meaning all of his techniques, but notably they say scontro di squalo is in fact what was used to defeat Tyr. It implies the sense that he created it during this battle, but what I find interesting about scontro di squalo, is that it's just flailing his sword around as he runs forward. This would be a move, only someone new and desperate would have come up with in reality.

It would throw off any master because of it's sheer recklessness. But once again, Yamamoto isn't a master and thus it's major advantage, is lost. Regardless, Squalo used to do the same as Yamamoto did and that's how he won there, but he made the mistake of believing his move set as perfect thus stagnating afterwards. His pride in his success and abilities, were his downfall in this match. Additionally Squalo's pride affecting his fighting was evident, in sword fighting you never dodge if possible it's really bad to because typically, you will not fucking succeed. Your legs are last in the orders of operations it's generally better and safer to block, parry and counter your enemy than it is to dodge. The fact that Squalo dodged a strike he knew was coming shows that he was over-estimating his own abilities and understanding of this style.

Finally the argument that Yamamoto would not be as strong as squalo is. Incorrect. In fact baseball actually engages the same muscle as sword fighting, and terrifyingly, there's one difference people do not typically account for when cross examining weapons. Which is, blunt objects naturally need more force behind them to do their work, while blades will typically have less resistance against the body. This means Yamamoto likely has a much higher swing strength than Squalo does with how violently he plays it, Yamamoto is like on, 'exploding a bird with a baseball pitch' level of play, and that WILL go into his swings.

If we were being realistic, should have broken Squalo's bones several times over with his back of the sword hits. It should be noted, the back of the sword while an anime trope of not being as dangerous, is actually just as dangerous or more so especially in the hands of someone used to using a blunt type of weaponry(in this case a baseball bat) the thin metal is heavy and powerful enough that the pressure on it would instead focus all the energy there, causing heavy bruising in the best of cases and something to break in the worst. Yamamoto's final move against Squalo, should it have hit his neck could have completely paralyzed the man from the neck down, or if it hit his skull, could have easily cracked and caved it in, and that's not bringing the additional momentum from it being a a strike with power added to it in the air. It is that bad. Notably, in the manga it appears Yamamoto switches the blade to the flat(not the back, this is the wide part of the blade) halfway through the strike so that it hits like that on the impact.

While this does typically lessen damage, it's mostly because striking like this creates more air resistance and slows down the blade before impact. However switching like Yamamoto does cuts down the slow and it would in fact do a lot of a damage. As even when it has more air resistance, a strike on the head like this is typically at minimum hard enough to stun a person. Which does explain why Squalo wakes up a few seconds after. But regardless, Yamamoto is perfectly capable of wrecking Squalo's shit even without physically training for the sword(which he did in fact do before this too but you know) in fact the fact he didn't kill Squalo in this match is impressive.

I want to additionally note the above, that Yamamoto's sword in the manga after is warping up and down like a door stop with so much energy put into it. Swords do wobble a bit when hit like this they have a bit of bend. But not THIS much typically. With the amount of force you'd need to do this to a sword you're more likely to fucking shatter it, now imagine doing that with solid metal against someone's fucking HEAD. The only thing preventing Squalo from dying from that is well the fact he is a cockroach and can't fucking die.

Now that we got that out of the way, we will now be looking at what type of fight this is. Battle manga focuses on battles it's in the name. But the important thing to know, is that there are several types of fights of which they can be categorized. I usually use 3 types(Narrative, Show, and Goal), though they can be mixed and matched but they cannot replace each other. They have different purposes and replacing one with another can in fact incredibly negatively impact how the story flows and character arcs grow, especially if you replace it with a show fight(one that focuses on a. character skills or b. entertainment value). But fundamentally what's important to know, is that the above that I've picked apart doesn't actually matter due to the type of fight it is.

You see, this is what I call a narrative fight(it is also mixed with a "goal" fight.) A narrative fight is something that explores the character and teaches them something that changes their character. It also is set to show something to the audience about the two characters fighting. Not their strength and their abilities, it's about their personalities, beliefs so on, things that can't actually be quantified. Almost all of the Varia arc fights are narrative fights. Fundamentally, in order to achieve what needed to be achieved, Squalo would and should never be able to get his hands on that ring.

Aside from the fact that Squalo would just kill any opponent he wins against if he doesn't have a reason not to(and in the case of the rain battle there's nothing there protecting Yamamoto). The rain battle is a battle of a lot of things. It is to teach Yamamoto humility, it is to show Yamamoto's progress from when he got his ass beat by squalo, it's to show the intense flaws of Squalo's pride, it's to show that insurmountable odds are possible to beat. Remember they're going 1 - 3(due to tsuna losing the sky ring) they're at an intense low point if yamamoto loses it's 1 - 4, which is more than half of the rings. But it's also about change. Yamamoto's entire style is about change. Squalo's isn't. Squalo's is incredibly ridged and stuck as it is.

For Squalo to win is to deny change is important, to say he is completely correct in being a prideful dick. To teach Yamamoto that this is correct, is very bad, because if Yamamoto were to fully follow Squalo in this? He would also stagnate the same way Squalo had. By breaking free of the competitive nature and seeing past the boxes of most sword styles with one that continues to evolve and encourages this. It's a battle of self reflection, and Yamamoto does this looking back over the battle, his last statements of it being flawless and invincible, is not a statement made to genuine belief that it will never change, but is a statement that because it changes it can always become something that will never truly be killed. But it's also something that pisses Squalo off, and Yamamoto is purposely saying it as a response, to goad Squalo into attacking. To blind him with his own pride and rage, to the new changes to the style, for Squalo to not see that Yamamoto has figured something out and isn't just being stubborn.

It never mattered who was truly better, because this fight is to double as a lesson. Should Squalo win cleanly or not punished for his pride, for being blinded by it, Yamamoto will not learn to grow. The battle is tailored to this, and changing it without understanding the narrative reasons as to why it ended up this way would ruin it's impact. It's not perfect it needs to be cleaned up a little with some dialogue changes and such, but honestly, the only thing that changing it would succeed in at best is a side grade should you make it so Squalo still loses. Or it loses it's impact should Squalo win.

I love the man I truly do, but this? This is one of the only fights where I will say he should lose. Other fights with him are much more arguably loose on which way they should go, but this? This one is a narrative battle that had complete purpose to his loss through and through. Squalo losing here serves a great purpose. He didn't even learn from it much which is a shame, but not surprisingly due to his character and what he represents. Which may be why he doesn't win any further up, because he does refuse to self reflect in any capacity.

[aaronsrpgs]

A Worksheet Manifesto (Rough Draft)

The Worksheet Manifesto is an attempt to explain why I'm moving my game design toward something I can print for free at the public library and give away. It's not a scold or a call to action; I buy full-color zines and hardcover books, and I support people charging for their work. This is a personal manifesto—an exercise in self-exploration.

The first reason I pursue this is ACCESS. I want people to be able to find and play my games. (Accessibility is maybe a better word for this, but I don't want it confused with the process through which something is made easier to use for people with disabilities.)

Some of the main barriers I've seen are financial (someone can't afford my games), technological (lack of computers and/or printers makes it more complicated to read my games), and international (shipping to someone outside the U.S. is prohibitively expensive).

Combining these three elements, I realized I wanted my games to be cheap or free. The common "community copies" solution on itch.io is much touted, and for good reason, but as I tried explaining the process to friends who weren't familiar with the site (or who flat-out aren't tech savvy), many responses were confused or frustrated. So I've set most of my games to pay-what-you-want with a suggested price.

Going from computer tech to printer tech, my most recent games were laid out in black and white, without ink-sucking textures (although some still have large spots of black in the art--something I continue to consider). Many American libraries offer limited free printing, and I always hope people will "utilize" the printers at their jobs or schools. I want people to be able to easily print out my games and share them at the table or pass them to friends.

And more selfishly, I hate dealing with fulfillment and shipping. It's stressful for me, it requires money up front to print things, and I'm bad at it, which means shipments go out slow, or not at all if someone lives outside of the U.S. Creating a file that's easy to print hopefully encourages people to create their own copies.

These cheap print copies also hopefully contribute to a feeling of DISPOSABILITY. I grew up with comic books, magazines, newspapers, and mass market paperbacks, and I think these cheap, short slabs of culture helped them feel like someone could engage with them without having to be fancy or educated or in the know. (A lot of us gatekeep ourselves!)

Prices for RPGs, like so many nerd collectibles, have steadily risen at least since the start of the pandemic. Crowdfunders often capitalize on FOMO, encouraging people to go all in on deluxe hardcovers with fabric bookmarks or whatever. And if my experience working at a used game store is anything to go by, lots of those fancy editions go right onto the bookshelf, unread. Don't want to break the spine or get fingerprints on it!

And I guess I'm just against consumerism? If someone wants a nice thing, I hope they get it, but a culture of games as luxury items and status symbols is not something I'm interested in.

So if someone has a game of mine and they don't want it anymore, I hope they pass it on, put it in a little free library, or recycle it.

And those dirty little printouts of my games? I want people to touch them and write them. I want TACTILITY. This is partially a usability issue: 300-page hardcovers are hard to find information in, and they're heavy if you have to lug them to a friend's house.

So I try to design games where everything a player (including the GM) needs is on, at most, three sheets of paper. I want them to be able to spread a couple pages out and take in the shape of the game they're about to play. I want them to circle things and make notes in the margins. Moving a pencil around does wild things to your brain, the same way that picking at a guitar or molding clay does. It focuses attention in interesting ways.

And in the end, you hopefully have a personalized article of play. And if you spill beer on it, no one's worried about replacing that $50 hardcover.

Speaking of beer, I want my games to be available to and contribute to COMMUNITY. As the pandemic started, I retreated into lots of online spaces, and those were absolutely vital to my survival. But I lost touch with lots of my friends and acquaintances in my city. I want to reconnect with them.

One of my favorite cartoonists, Mark Connery, is known for drawing little zines and just...leaving them all over. Coffee shops, art galleries, bathrooms. And when I think of him, I think of an artist responding directly to the places around him. Is it sad that some of this work is probably "lost" to all readers other than the person that happens across the zine? A little bit. But I think that comes from a bad part of my brain, the part that wants to own things.

I certainly don't want the entirety of my own work collected and widely distributed. Some of those things were specific responses to specific times that I've moved past. Some were bad! But I want to keep responding to my specific times and my specific place. I want to give things to friends (even if they just pass them on or recycle them). I want to give a game to someone at a zine fest and have them recognize my name from a zine they read in a coffee shop bathroom. And maybe they'll give me a zine in return.

My last hangup is MODULARITY. First, similar to tactility, I want to be able to give a player only the rules that matter to them. Character creation and basic rules? Here's a page. And once you're familiar with that and we've entered a downtime phase, here's a page with those options. You want to start a farm? Here's a page. I want it to feel like printing coloring pages for kids or ripping out my favorite magazine articles. These are the parts that matter. And if they stop mattering, you can get rid of them.

But I also want modularity on a system level. I want to add a subsystem to game as I think of it. I want to throw in an adventure pamphlet when it comes to me. I can keep them all in a little box, like a care package from my past self, and when it's time to run a game, I can dig around like a verminous animal and build my nest out of the best bits.

In CONCLUSION, I want to reiterate that this is a personal practice, and I'm not criticizing people who work differently. I used to work differently, and in the future, I'll probably work differently again.

This is simply the way I've identified what's important to me, set that up against the things that cause me to stumble, taken advantage of the privileges I have, and tried my best to bring that all together in a way that keeps me excited about my own work.

[raelle-writing]

DFF is such great show and I enjoy the portrayal of the characters and the plot. Although I am not much into JinPhee ship (even though their scene was hot) - meaning I won't actively search fics of them;-D. But I absolutely don't understand the hate this ship gets. Or Jin character gets? Like, did I miss something? Why there is so much hate towards this pairing? I don't get it. Or do they dislike Jin character so much?

So I think there are 3 main reasons that people hate PheeJin and specifically Jin as much as they do, and I'll see if I can explain it coherently below lmao

First is cultural differences.

I've noticed that by and large a lot of the hatred directed at Jin comes from international fans being extremely harsh, and I think it's partially because they don't understand some of the nuance of Thai culture. Which to be fair, why would they?

One aspect is that they get angry that Jin lied to the police without taking into account that the police are corrupt - both in the narrative and also in Thailand in general.

Another is they get mad at Jin for recording Non - which to be fair, really does suck lmao. But they make it about Jin recording Non instead of reporting the assault happening, without taking into consideration that the age of consent in Thailand is 15, which means that what happened with Non and Keng isn't technically statuatory rape. Still bad and awful and Non was coerced and assaulted, don't get me wrong - but that makes it slightly less clear cut IMO when it comes to the question of Jin seeing Non "cheating."

You can even see within the show that the reactions to that video are by and large slut-shaming and not "omg that kid was assaulted."

So to recap: Taking the video = bad. But I think people get a bit too self-righteous about the reasons why Jin took it.

Second is purity/cancel culture.

I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice that in the internet age, if you make one mistake you're a terrible, irredeemable person and should be canceled forever. I think that's playing a part in this. All of the characters make mistakes, and because of that they're all irredeemable pieces of shit who deserve to die. Except for Non who is just a victim and has never done anything wrong (sarcasm).

In seriousness, I think that's part of it. And the fact that Non is SO sympathetic it kind of overrides people's sympathies for the other characters. I'm not 100% sure why people hate Jin the most out of everyone else considering he's the one who has tried to help Non the most out of the friend group... I guess they just have higher standards for people who try to help? Idk. Either way it seems to me that they expect Jin to be a perfectly-well-adjusted little hero who always does what's right and never makes mistakes. Instead of what he really is: a kid.

And last is fan favorites/shipping.

A big part of the reason that PheeJin shippers are getting so much hate is because TaCode shippers and PheeNon shippers have decided their ship is The Ship of the series, and think that Phee is just using Jin for revenge and anyone who genuinely ships PJ is fucked up, etc.

It's just ship war bullshit waged by largely Barcode stans, but it's certainly tiresome.

To be clear, I have nothing against PheeNon. I am of the opinion that Phee and Non were a cute high school romance that wouldn't have lasted because they had conflicting styles of showing affection and love (I'll write a post about it someday lol) but that doesn't mean I hate the ship. I thought they were very cute and it was fun to see TaCode on screen since I wrote MacauChay in my KPTS days ahahaha I just like the spice and fire of PheeJin better, and Jin is my favorite character.

I just wish that PheeNon shippers would live and let live instead of acting like they're waging some moral war. They were even crying in BOC's comment section on IG today after they posted the PheeJin poster for episode 9 saying "nooooo Phee is there for revenge he can't really have feelings for Jin!" It's exhausting... 🫠

General disclaimer: if you don't like Jin or like PheeNon better I'm not saying any of the above things applies to you. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I'm just dissecting some of the over-the-top hate I've seen/experienced in fandom spaces lately.

[streamdotpng]

Military School AU

Wednesday gets (semi) seriously hurt in a challenge/Event and Addams' will fight to death (or just literally unable to continue) and Enid has a flashback to the night with the Hyde and her mind goes blank besides protecting Wednesday.

That's how the Nightshades/Wednesday realize Enid doesn't actually hate them/was just hurt and bitter. And how Enid's Pack realizes just how important Wednesday is to their Alpha/realize Enid Imprinted on Wednesday.

Or, Wednesday comes into contact with one of the Pack (handshake, combat, whatever), and has a vision of what Enid's been going through/feeling and how the Pack has been helping/taking care of her. And to everyone's surprise, Wednesday looks absolutely wrecked (but is trying hard not to show it), and gives them her gratitude and thanks for caring for her Wolf when she wasn't there (no matter how much she wanted to be).

[Sorry if this reads weird, I'm typing this in the car on my phone.]

its all good bud! sorry for answering this so late, my ass desperately tried to draw this but my hand is not handing today so lemme set the scene

Incoming huge werewolf lore dump!

Grimwolves are emotional beings. Any overwhelming emotion can lead to a partial shift! from the growing of teeth, a sudden burst of a werewolf paw or the shifting and dislocating of bones to a bigger form-

you can say its part of the reason why enid was so cold. Especially durimg her 'slump' in the 2nd semester of her sophomore year. It didn't help that when the pack settle into the dorm, there are times where they can see Enid desperately clenching her fists before slipping on her bracers.

Sometimes, when they wake up early enough to catch sight of Enid without them, they can see the way the muscles in her arms twitch and shift before settling.

They keep their mouth shut, all too aware of the fact that enid wears her muzzle during classes too. They aren't really dumb, they know of how Enid got her alpha rank after all but there's a difference between hearing and seeing

Sometimes, during the end of the semester when Enid seems to be coping all the more better and the muzzle wasn't such a need anymore, they can see the way she tends to pant with her mouth open at times. It wasn't anything new, most werewolves do that too at times

But it gives them an eyeful of the way too big teeth that most werewolves don't have

(aka enid still tends to get overwhelmed at times and having the ability to shift whenever isn't as much as a blessing like most think)

so! the pack are aware that enid's different. They don't know the exact name and she's a bit too big for her size whenever its time for monthly shifting but they never see her fully shift in distress

And that changes alot.

So as explained briefly here, werewolves have the whole day to get ready for their shift in the night. Which means that they don't tend to be too aggressive, theyre a touch more rational and their body can properly regulate all that wolf magic hormone stuff

Which leads to them looking more wolf than man. Which was a good thing! Makes it easier to blend in with the normies of back then

But grimwolves?

Their shifts are sudden and there is no period to get ready. It's just snap and you're a wolf but normal werewolves aren't made for that and so the body accommodates

So most of the time, it leads to the image above! Grimwolves were rampant back then along with violence so it spread to normies that these were how werewolves are supposed to look like and thus reinforcing their monstrous nature etc etc you get the point

Obviously it's been disproven by outcasts and grimwolves are totally myths

Now, imagine being in a tournament fully expecting to be able to beat a bunch of trained dogs because hey its not like it's the full moon, what can they do?

They already took down the Addams girl and her flowery friends, what's wrong with besting those smug mutts too?

Anyways I suck at words rn but enid beats their ass. She's been trying to control her shifting since her second semester last year but honestly, Wednesday has always lead to her doing the craziest of things

Revealing her existence on live was certainly not one she expected to do but if it meant keeping Wednesday alive-

Well, it wouldn't be the worst thing Enid has done

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.tumblr.com/eisforeidolon/751943165375856640/do-you-consider-dean-to-be-abusive-to-sam-i-read

You are totally entitled to your opinion, but this reply was a not so much, "no, I don’t think Dean was abusive" response. It was more a "look at all the times Sam is meaner and worse than Dean" response, which is what Sam fans get accused of doing in reverse. The thing is, Sam girls ARE overly defensive of Sam, but it is partially because the show narrative itself almost always sides with Dean, as in his choices end up being "right" even when they logically shouldn’t be. Or sam just has to "get over" things or he’s a "bitch, but Dean is allowed to be angry and hurt without the show shitting on him for it. Sam even gets blamed for things that he didn’t even do (this is by Castiel often, though. And he sucks, so … whatever). Sorry, but just some backstory on why Sam girls get sensitive.

I don’t actually think Dean is abusive. I think he’s damaged and dealing in the way he knows how. And, yeah, both brothers hurt each other a lot by lying, saying harsh things, etc. I actually think the times either have punched each other, the other hardly counts as anything serious. Nit the big fights, but the single- punches. I’m not saying they are right, but growing up fighting monsters, a punch is going to mean less to both of them than not trusting each other or things like that.

Also, in my opinion, I get people’s annoyance at the whole Sam trying to get Dean to talk about things on his time frame isn’t cool. But, it results in Dean knowing he can open up when HE is ready. He always ends up sharing with Sam in th end. But, as the show goes on, Dean shuts doesn’t Sam’s attempts to talk about how he feels. So he stops. Sam is a bit hypocritical in wanting Dean to talk when he wouldn’t, yes, but he’s also learned that after being shut down a few key times. In the late seasons, both are better at sharing with each other, so they get there in the end.

Sorry, if this comes off as combative, but I agree with your initial point that they have both hurt each other in many ways. I think whoever we identify with, we are always going to give more leeway though.

Can’t we all just agree to hate Castiel for blaming Sam for things he hadn’t done, betraying Dean, and generally sucking?

Honestly, I mostly avoid a lot of the brother vs. brother conversations just because it is so hard to address it in a way that will not be taken badly by one side or the other because there are so many biased, rancid takes floating around. People can get very entrenched and defensive, which is kind of a shame. Not just because that's not fun, but people being willing to give their faves more leeway? Can actually lead to all kinds of interesting speculation and meta about the characters' choices that I think often enriches the fandom.

The initial premise of the anon was regarding claims Dean is abusive by people taking Dean's worst behaviors regarding Sam in a vacuum. Since I don't agree Dean was uniquely terrible to Sam specifically because they've both got issues with control and yes, their lives are violent and they've both gotten physical with each other? I wasn't sure how else to address that without pointing out Sam's side of that equation existing. And I did want to use some specific examples to avoid having to come back later and add them in because 'Well, *I* don't remember Sam ever...'

I did see how that could come off as harping on Sam, but I didn't really see a way around it. I could have tried to reiterate more of Dean's various behavior which was not great - but given that was baked into the initial premise and punching people when you're angry is kind of ... obviously bad? If there was a more even-handed way to say what I meant, it was sadly beyond my abilities when composing the post. But my intention was very much just to point out that the context in which Dean's behavior occurs is a relationship that's kinda fucked up sometimes from both sides, not to imply Sam was worse or meaner to Dean than Dean was to Sam.

[good-to-drive]

So I was just chatting with someone about Paul and whether he could be on the narcissistic spectrum, and it made me want to organize my thoughts in one place.

The first thing I want to get out of the way is that being on the narcissistic spectrum doesn't mean you're a bad person. I know a lot of people disagree with that, so let's just rip the band-aid off: narcissism is a type of disordered thinking people develop as a response to childhood trauma, it is not associated with any one set of actions, it does not affect your moral compass, and treating it like a synonym for "asshole" is honestly pretty fucked up.

"But my [relative/ex partner/ex friend/etc] was a narcissist and they WERE an asshole!!"

That sucks!! I'm sorry you went through that. My best friend is on the narcissistic spectrum and they're the best person I've ever met. And if you met them you'd insist they're not a narcissist because they're not an asshole, but they're diagnosed and everything.

Saying people with narcissism are selfish, arrogant, self centered, etc is like saying people with an anxious attachment style are abusive. There's a positive correlation there (at least compared to secure and avoidant attachment styles) but they are by no means synonymous.

Narcissism is most strongly characterized by extreme feelings of self doubt and self recrimination that the sufferer tries to combat through external validation. Not by being an asshole.

Paul lost his only stable parent at a young age and was left to be the sensible one for a younger sibling and a father who was most likely a gambling addict. That level of destabilization likely prevented him from developing a strong sense of self or self worth.

Often when people with narcissism look inward they only see "emptiness," because they were prevented from developing self knowledge as a child. You HAVE a personality and a moral compass, but you don't know that you have it. Sort of like how if you'd never touched your face before you might have trouble finding your nose with your eyes closed.

This might explain why Paul tends to come across more self conscious than self aware -- which is to say, his knowledge of himself seems to only extend to the degree that he is insecure about certain aspects of himself. It might also explain why Paul had a tendency to adopt the characteristics of whoever he felt safest with, like adopting many of Linda's interests and traits once they were married.

This lack of internal self-knowledge also leads to a dependency on external validation. It's common for people on the npd spectrum to feel that what makes you a good person is to be perceived as a good person. When that perception is threatened the immense sense of emptiness and insufficiency comes roaring back and the individual tends to spiral and feel very vulnerable and hated.

To my eye, Paul was often very vulnerable to criticism, especially public criticism. He thrived under the public eye because the constant positive attention gave a strong sense of himself through others' eyes. Which is to say, he could see his himself reflected in the public eye and he generally liked what he saw, and that gave him an identity and internal consistency he might never have had before. When that image was threatened he didn't have the same level of internal self worth to fall back on that the rest of us have, so it was extraordinarily painful.

I'd also say the intensity of his relationship with John may have indicated some narcissistic tendencies. John probably had bpd (I think most of us in the fandom are on the same page about that) and had a tendency to intensely idealize his chosen person, which for someone like Paul who lacks an internal sense of self worth and identity would be extremely comforting. Being "chosen" by John would provide him with a very powerful feeling of worthiness that he might not have felt before, or at least not very often, and that might partially explain the sheer intensity of their relationship.

(I'm not saying they didn't also genuinely love each other, just that our history and past traumas inform how we relate to people in the present and John's coping mechanism of intense idealization may have dovetailed nicely with Paul's coping mechanism of external validation.)

Anyways, one thing I want to make really clear is that I'm not a psychiatrist and have never taken a psychology class in my entire life, this is exclusively based on personal research. And I mostly read about violence, addiction, and systems theory so I'm no kind of expert on narcissism. These are just some parallels I've noticed when I've run up on narcissism in other texts. Only a psychiatrist could diagnose Paul.

Edited to add:

I just wanna walk back a little on the idea that John likely had BPD, because I've been reading about BPD vs CPTSD and there's a lot I never knew. But also I get the feeling this is the kind of discussion only a clinician could have an informed opinion about, and as a layman I just want to be clear that I'm not trying to endorse BPD as a diagnosis OR deny it, I'm truly not educated enough to weigh in on whether BPD is a problematic diagnosis.

[atopvisenyashill]

How much would change if Jon, Sansa, and Arya were genderbent?

Interesting question partially because we don’t have a lot of precedent for what happens to bastard born noble girls. Boys can inherit if there’s no true born sons - Alyn of Hull becomes Alyn Velaryon at the behest of his (rumored) father Corlys, Bran suggests to Lord Hornwood's illegitimate son should inherit, Edric Storm is likely to inherit Storms End by the ending, etc. But the girls…so far as I can find we only have Jeyne Waters (but the Longwaters descend from Jon, not Jeyne), Ashara Dayne’s (maybe) daughter, and Sara Snow.

If Jon is a girl and Cat has nothing but true born boys, I imagine in some ways things get easier for the Starklings and harder. An illegitimate girl is not a threat to the claims of Catelyn’s children the way a boy may be but it also may mean a girl Jon is much lonelier. Her existence is still an insult to Catelyn, but Ned is not going to ask Catelyn to oversee and her tutelage. If she's taught by Septa Mordane it's going to suck because Septa Mordane is super classist & an all around terrible guardian. I think Ned's paranoia might be worse however; if girl!Jon (Jeyne?) decides she hates her lessons and wants to be with all her brothers, it might remind Ned just a bit too much of Lyanna training with all of her brothers. And even though they look alike, having a daughter running around with Lyanna's face is incredibly risky. I think all of that is likely to make Jon much more quiet, morose, and sour @ life although with the same sort of passion & ability to understand outsiders.

It's also a bit complicated because its not as easy to get rid of a girl than a boy short of a marriage match in the North - the Silent Sisters and the Septas follow the faith and I don't think Ned is letting Lyanna's daughter go there nor is he hurrying to engage her to anyone (because he's not hurrying to engage anyone to anyone). So when Robert comes North...perhaps Catelyn asks for Jeyne (Jon) to be fostered somewhere else or taken with the capital. Ned is never bringing her to the capital but he might send her to foster with Howland because it keeps her out of the way and safe. That means Sam probably never finds his footing with the Night's Watch which really puts into question whether they find out that dragonglass kills wights early on. Night's Watch is kind of screwed, haha.

I do think there’s a chance Robb & Jon/Jeyne have kind of a Cregan & Sara Snow relationship; close in age and a beloved sister who he feels protective over after their father has died. It's possible he keeps her out of the action but equally possible he uses her in a marriage match.

As for boy Sansa & Arya...Arya is just a wildly different person if she's a boy. Her penchant for caring about common folk and being "underfoot" can still exist but it's treated very different. She would have a much better relationship with Cat; similar to the way Bran is a lil feisty and that's why Cat loves him. Cat is not going to worry about if her rowdy boy will have a good life and marriage because Arya is third born. I imagine a boy Sansa is similar to Bran; dreaming of songs of knights and valor. There's also no royal matches for both of them; maybe Myrcella is engaged to Sansa but that's it. I don't think the genderswap is likely to impact the Arya/Jon relationship much; would be funny if Needle becomes a gift from Arya to Jon instead of from Jon to Arya as Jon goes away to foster with Howland. It will impact the Sansa/Arya relationship however; without the gendered aspects of Arya Doing Gender Wrong, they have less issues with each other. They're also not the only girls which means there's less pressure on them and less comparisons between them. Sansa and Arya together are probably more likely to get out of KL before Ned is killed because they've trained at fighting a bit more but at the same time, without Syrio Forell there to run interference, they might get captured anyway. That's where I deeply worry about them both; if Robb ransoms Jaime for Sansa and Arya it affects the whole war but if Joffrey decides "fuck it" and kills them too (because what does Littlefinger care to spare Catelyn's boys?) I think it's likely to make the war worse.

Anyways the answer is: it changes everything lol.

[flightyquinn]

AI Haters, Please Read to the End

I see people celebrating every time something bad happens in the AI art world, and that makes me very sad. Because I am partially colorblind, and have ADHD, clinical depression, and other health issues that I'm less comfortable talking about. Because I can't work, and rely on family for housing and government assistance to afford essentials. For someone like me, the barrier to entry on art is high. I'm never going to own a drawing tablet, I can't get professional lessons, my focus sucks to the point where it's hard to follow tutorials no matter how much I want to, and even if all of that could be sorted, my own eyes are against me.

But I still have ideas. I still have pictures in my head that want to get out. Characters that want faces, scenes that want to be expressed, and the like. I'm still creative. I just can't properly express that creativity. Nor can I pay someone else to express it for me. However, I can tell an AI what I'm trying to depict. I can tweak the settings, make small changes, spend hours on end generating and re-generating, tweaking and re-tweaking, and making small edits that are within my power to do, until I have a picture that satisfies my need to bring the thing in my head to life. That's not "stealing". It's not pushing a button and letting the computer do the work for me. That's me having my own ideas, and trying to use the tools at my disposal to turn them into something that other people can see.

Plus, there's one other thing I can do. This is a picture I generated with AI that I'm actually quite proud of.

And do you know why? Because it started as this.

I fed my terrible MSPaint rough as hell doodle into an AI, and told it what the picture was supposed to be. And I tried again, and again, and again, until I was able to refine the result into something that I was happy with - which took a whole lot more than just pressing the button again, let me tell you.

This is my idea, from start to finish, and my shitty art became something that actually looks halfway decent. Yeah, I'm aware of the wonkiness and AI jank. I know the jawline's weird, his eyes don't match, and there's something up with his ear. It's not perfect, but it's a whole lot better than what I could do on my own.

Look, when it comes to stopping the commercialization of AI art, I'm right there with you guys. Fuck corporations that want to replace their whole art department. Fuck people who want to impersonate other artists, or take commissions to turn someone's description of what they want into a prompt. Hell, fuck the people who take the first result they're given without trying to refine it at all!

However, I don't want AI to die. AI is an accessibility option. AI is a tool that lets me go from saying for years, "I wish I could have art of my first D&D character, I have so many fond memories of him." to having that one picture. It lets me stop stealing every time I want a character portrait for a new TTRPG that I'm starting up. Because you know what? I don't have the ability to be a "real artist", and I never will. There's too many barriers for entry.

...and my situation is mild compared to what some people have to deal with. Sure, there are people who find ways to make traditional art despite disabilities, but that's an exception. It could be the rule. Why shouldn't it be?

As far as "theft" goes, I have yet to hear one explanation of why it's okay to use references, but not AI, that didn't boil down to "it's different when we do it". And what about collage? Is a collage art, or is it "theft?" What about sculptural works that use reclaimed objects? They didn't create that. They just decided how it would be arranged. Hell, what about pieces like "The Fountain" for that matter? That's a big problem I have with all this hate. If you applied the same standards to other things as to AI, then there's a lot of things that currently are art we'd have to say aren't any more.

If you have a problem with AI, why not work to make it better, instead of trying to deprive people who rely on it for self-expression of a creative outlet?

[quellstak]

6, 12 and 20 of the choose violence ask game? ;)

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Oh God, I could go on and on about a dozen shippers. My top 3 are PJ0 (Pacey and Joey were such a let down and the DC tag is nothing but them), Bell@rke is when I truly started to despise shippers, but not one ship fandom pisses me off more than b*ghead. First, they are way too involved in the actor's lives, they broke up move on. And I blame RAS partially for their entitlement but sometimes it felt like they were watching an entirely different show and that ship fucking sucked I hate them and that's why I avoid the Riverdale fandom as much as i can

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I'm trying to think of an unpopular character that like didn't do heinous shit. I'm going with Dawson Leery. First, he and Joey view each other in the same way. She can't stand him being with people anymore than he can so I don't understand the narrative that he acted like he owned Joey or whatever. Second, if I found out that my ex/childhood best friend and my other best friend were hooking up behind my back, I'd be pissed too. For me, Dawson acts irrational in situations where it's understandable. He's not without his flaws but I feel like he gets more shit being on the losing side of a love triangle.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

College years are mostly a miss (there are a few hits) because the show doesn't allow characters to grow past their high school adolescent selves. Time jumps mean shit without actual lasting change.

[sulky-star-cluster]

They are the equivalent of Kill Code in the dimension but quite different from most. So it's a post October 2022 Lord Eclipse dimension and he put multiple people into stasis while he figured out what he would actually do with them. So Moon and Lunar still shared a body. While they were in stasis, their codes kind of congealed. Lunar was removed a while later but their coding wasn't split correctly. Then when 'Kill Code' developed sentience and was removed from Moon, he had bits of what was originally Lunar's coding which neutralized the more malicious parts of his coding. Chaos is protective and possessive but not necessarily violent by nature. Though he will absolutely slaughter people to keep his family safe. So he is classified as more of a protection code than a kill code.

And since it's a Lord Eclipse dimension, Envy, the Eclipse has plenty of blood filled wild life as well as plants that can produce what is basically blood fruit. So plenty to feed the pack.

Chaos also very intentionally gathered them. Just surprise adopted whoever wasn't being fed properly or was on the daycare kill list when he traveled to another dimension. He also has a few Eclipses, a Sun, and a Lunar.

-

*travels to Antares' dimension, leading him to a partially cleared section of the rubble. Sun is basically a scrap heap* As far as I can tell he has been offline pretty much the whole time so he probably only suffered for a short while. Though that short while almost definitely sucked.

Algol: Oh! So they aren't even really a Kill code anymore. Chaos is just a more defensive version of Moon? Intriguing. I suppose if you are Lord you can do about anything. Although Antares is a contradiction to that. I don't know what he's doing. I suppose if you just have flowers and fruit that just bleed blood, It would be easier to satiate them. I bet this chaos fellow sounds like he would take every single one of us under his thumb if he could. I'm surprised he hasn't with his description. Plus what the frequency he is mentioned. Why haven't they taken any of us under his wing?

---

Antares: O-oh... Oh dear. They really are- Oh there in such bad shape. I don't even know if this is repairable, does he even have a memory chip? He's so- Oh- Oh that's funny.

Antares: Hahaha. It's a strange feeling. What is it? Guilt? Longing? A pitiful memory cloaked in a different light? Why does it even arise? How was I not expecting it? I asked to see, to look at what I left behind. To understand what state I left him in.

Antares: I never enjoyed Sun. He was my punching bag. Nothing more than a measly servant. Never once did I feel bad for what I did, or what I was doing. I was aggressive, merciless. Many would have reasons to hate me dearly. I felled numerous enemies. Like any lord I was a tyrant.

Antares: But looking at him now? About as broken as the world that I refuse to look at. Worse for wear then what I could ever do to him. Remembering that his entire life was being mocked under somebody's thumb. Whether that was Moon or me. I-

Antares: Perhaps I can sympathize with Black Star. I honestly do not see myself acting any better if he came back. It is only when I am alone that this feeling comes. This pitiful feeling of what ifs, And why did? The simple answer will always be because-... If we were already forgotten for just existing, then we must make them see us through extremes. Extremes that always end in devastation... But we are seen.

Antares: Ahh. It would- It would definitely be best if he did not come back with me. I don't know if I can- even now I don't want to see. Send them to whichever one you think would repair him best. Although as much as this Lord Envy sounds kind, I would prefer those two good eclipses could be chosen. If he does remember anything. If he can. It would be best not to scare him.

I am heading back.

[very-grownup]

Book 34, 2024

That's right, it's time for another edition of CHRIST WHY DID YOU TRANSLATE IT AS CHESS THERE IS SO MUCH REFERENCE TO CHESS PIECES AND WHEN YOU SAY 'CHESS PIECE' THE AVERAGE WESTERNER IS GOING TO THINK OF THE PAWN AND THE ROOK AND THE LITTLE HORSEY I mean I read Volume 5 of "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun".

God, I don't even know where I'm at in my relationship with Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou, because I'm not a committed to hate-reading an entire series kind of guy, and committing to eleven of these fuckers involves dropping some serious bucks. But here I am typing:

This volume was great because there was hardly any Mo Ran and Chu Wanning pining compared to the sad masturbation on opposite sides of the wall that was volume 4.

I loved this part of the book in a genre about dudes and their romantic feelings and boners where I hardly had to deal with their romantic feelings and boners!

Progress is being made on the Mo Ran and Chu Wanning front in this volume, for what it's worth, but most of it is beneath or after meaty chunks of mystery and plot and A GIANT RITUAL HUMAN SACRIFICE MIND CONTROL ARRAY WITH GO PIECES USED TO OPEN A PORTAL TO HELL AND A GIANT HOME DEPOT SKELETON WITH A CORPSE WHERE IT'S HEART SHOULD BE COMES OUT OF IT AND FUCKS SHIT UP AND THERE'S A CURSE WHERE A GUY'S SKIN IS CONSTANTLY BEING SLICED OPEN AND HEALED AND FILLED WITH AGONIZING PAIN AT NIGHT FOREVER WITH NO END IN SIGHT god it's rad.

AS PART OF A WEDDING.

THERE'S GIANT SPIRIT WOLVES.

Shit gets real at the wedding for Nangong Si (mysteriously disappeared/died in the original timeline) and Song Qiutong (Mo Ran's wife in the original timeline and a special race of being who can exponentially level up your cultivation if you fuck her), partially because Mo Ran is determined to sabotage it due to how Song Qiutong behaved as his wife in, again, the original timeline.

A thing that is frustrating about Mo Ran, now that he's stopped being the protagonist most in need of being thrown off a mountain, is that Mo Ran is now actively working towards being a better person and grasping at redemption for all the /murdering and raping and subjugating the entirety of the cultivation world/ and he's not willing to extend that grace to characters like Song Qiutong, a woman whose main fault seems to be jealousy and fear of being replaced by the man protecting her if she loses his sexual interest. Which seems kind of fair, considering she's a walking cultivation reservoir via dick insertion who was literally sold at a black market auction.

Mo Ran needs to work more on himself before deciding who's irredeemable, is what I'm saying. The hypocrisy with Song Qiutong sticks in my throat and reading a serialized novel in bits and pieces means I don't know if there's going to be further character or plot developments to grapple with that or if this is just a way Mo Ran is going to suck for the rest of the novel.

The wedding meddling leads to secrets being revealed, some of them decades old, and a huge chunk of the cultivation world having everything turned on its head in the ensuing chaos and the whole thing with the giant home depot skeleton. There's some weird gender stuff mixed in, bring your own feelings to the table on that, but everything with the Rufeng Sect and the wedding and Mo Ran's struggle to balance solving problems with not wanting to reveal all the forbidden knowledge he shouldn't have due to the crimes of his previous life make for meaty, juicy reading, like a really good burger.

And then there's pickles on the burger.

The pickles symbolize Mo Ran's dick.

Important clarifying information: I don't like pickles.

I've been told I should read "Legend of the Condor Heroes".

So I guess I continue my weird semi-antagonistic but thoroughly invested relationship with this series.

God the bit with the giant skeleton was cool.

[diverbots]

could we get a master list of zenyatta headcanons (or honestly whatever comes to mind first) (maybe this is a repetitive ask. if so, I beg for your forgiveness, king)

It's alright don't worry, anyone can send as many asks as they'd like, I'm just slow to reply sometimes. As for Zenyatta headcanons I'm drawing a blank on a lot of them (it's 12 AM here and I have to drive my friend to work in the morning lulz) but here's some off the top of my head:

Zenny is almost at Dva's skill level in terms of gaming but he's very casual about it - he likes the competition! You could argue it's cause he's an omnic that he learns so fast and is "naturally good", but he personally wants to separate himself from that, and just let loose and play like how anyone else would. He also likes the community aspect of gaming and hearing how much love people put into just creating something fun and engaging to connect with other people. He likes to 100% complete games as well.

Zenyatta hates juggling because he can't actually do it. The amount of skill required for it sucks, and whenever he attempts he accidentally brings out one of his transcendence arms out of habit and messes it all up. Whenever he tries to fake it, it looks horrendously bad and he's just stopped doing it altogether to prevent further embarrassment (Ramattra was the one who made fun of him for it) He's a bigger fan of just spinning his orbs in his hands - or just yo-yos.

I'm still thinking over this (PVE will probably confirm or deny) but Zenyatta got his name from Mondatta when he entered the Shambali (if they happened to have the same name when they met though that'd be fucking funny cause I'd imagine Mondatta literally lighting up when he hears another omnic has a matching name as him. Ramattra gives him a side-eye cause he was *this* close to being named Zenyatta if he didn't come up with his own name. Instant baby brother). He was nameless prior to it, and it upsets him sometimes that he couldn't have given himself a name.

Zenyatta may have been the one to push Ram on the ideas of achieving justice for omnics, though it obviously didn't go very well and it ended up in a heated debate between Ram and Datta when Ram brought it up, which caused Ram to leave. It made Mondatta very upset to lose someone so close, and Zenyatta felt partially responsible for it.

This is already somewhat established in canon but I think he's very reluctant on opening up about himself and showing his own grieving process to the point where he'd just avoid thinking about them altogether. This may just be an issue with Zenyatta having very little lore for years in general, but yeah, having Ramattra leave and hearing about Mondatta's death (imo the two support beacons in his life, the two who had MUCH clearer goals than he does) just shattered him and now he's doesn't really know his own purpose. (It's probably why he won't tell anyone about what he did prior to the crisis, the only person I see him talking about it with is Mondatta and it's very barebones.)