#out of the couple characters im insane about i think my vision of her is the second clearest after mr kuroiro here

[tiktowafel]

personal lore dump for Shihai Kuroiro!! (where i'm probably a little mean to him but it's out of love guys i swear)

verrry late for his birthday but it's here!! :] love this kid. so many thoughts about him to share

i'll just start with the part that i find the most important - the core of his character, to me, is that he is not what he says he is and not what he desperately tries to convince himself and everyone else that he is.

i'm mostly basing this off of how ultra analysis gives him one of the two lowest wits scores in his class (as shown above) despite the fact that he calls himself "the scheming hero" and spends half his joint training match dramatically talking about trickery and psychological traps - while i like to ignore canon sometimes, this little piece of information is something i could never disregard. it's so endearing to me, plus him apparently trying really hard to seem way cooler than he actually is fits with the chuunibyou archetype he's supposed to represent.

severe headcanon territory & a generally slightly lengthy textpost under the read more lol

now, why do i hc he's that way in the first place? well, basically: his whole life he's admired underground heroes very strongly and ended up developing this very idealized mental picture of the perfect underground hero - a mysterious lonely mastermind who hides in the shadows and avoids the spotlight, quietly pulling all the strings and relying on plans and schemes instead of a powerful quirk and flashy moves. but despite all the dirty tricks they're capable of, their heart is in the right place - in fact in a way their motivations are far more noble than those of all the popular celebrity heroes, because they don't care about fame or recognition, they act out of a genuine want to do good. this is what Kuroiro aspires to be and what he bases his entire persona on, pretty much.

and that's because this is also the only kind of hero he could ever identify with - he was always an odd, withdrawn kid who had trouble making friends. he couldn't see himself in all those shiny charismatic always-in-the-spotlight heroes that everyone else seemed to love. so when he learned about underground heroes, he fell in love instantly and decided this is who he wanted to be, over time forming this perfect underground hero image to set as his goal.

except, again, a lot of traits possessed by this ideal of a hero aren't really in line with what Kuroiro himself actually is. he's nowhere this badass. he's nowhere this smart. he kinda sucks at this whole scheming thing actually! he's sneaky, sure, that's by nature of his quirk - but his schemes are way less elaborate than he likes to make them seem, most of the time they're just ways for himself to catch people off guard. he doesn't have the multi-step coordination-based planning capablity of Kendo or Tokage, the adaptability of Honenuki or the sheer sophistication of Monoma (note that almost all of 1-b's plan during joint training match 2 was invented by Kendo and Kuroiro's only strategic contribution was tricking 1-a into thinking he was gonna target Tokoyami so he could ambush Aoyama instead - which is something yeah but still nothing particularly complicated). and he hates that about himself, because intelligence is something that he values and admires so so much - so he exaggerates his strategic prowess a lot, with his hero title and dramatic speeches and all, and does everything in his power not to be perceived as stupid (often failing miserably). it's out of insecurity.

he's also not that much of a lone wolf, either. he does have a strong tendency to isolate himself from others, which is partially because he's convinced himself that he's destined to walk a lonely path in life & content with it (what's a better way of coping with your childhood loneliness than romanticizing it) and partially because the fact that he's constantly putting up a facade does by itself kinda prevent him from forming proper relationships, BUT he's not really happy this way. he's introverted but ultimately not meant to be alone. he does need friends! and he does wish for a romantic relationship, too! but, of course, he sucks at managing those feelings, as we can judge by his interactions with Kinoko and his general incapability of normally talking to girls mentioned in ultra analysis.

i actually really like that he has a crush on Kinoko specifically because it plays really well into everything that i said earlier in this post! remember that something he admires a lot about underground heroes is that they don't care about fame and recognition, and therefore in his view have the most genuine motivations? i like to believe that odd as it is, he actually has a very strong moral compass and greatly values selflessness. so, imagine how he feels when he learns that Kinoko, whom he already has a crush on because she's cute and she's nice to him and she has a really cool quirk (something something mushrooms like darkness so they must be meant to be), wants to be an idol hero. bro's devastated. those people are the epitome of modern hero society's shallowness and superficiality, and she wants to be one! she apparently wants to spend her precious time doing silly little dance routines and shaking people's hands at conventions instead of dedicating it all to proper hero work! and Kuroiro still has a crush on her! that witch...!

and you see, Kinoko isn't actually a shallow person. what motivates her to become and idol hero isn't selfishness (refer to my old Kinoko headcanon list - some things in there are a tiny bit outdated but my headcanon on why she wants to be an idol is still the same!). except Kuroiro doesn't get to know that at first so he remains bewildered and conflicted for quite some time - and i just think that's funny y'know? he eventually learns more about her (second hand, they don't directly talk to each other much, in canon i think Kinoko doesn't even pay much attention to him in general 😭) and starts to change his mind, probably falling even harder in the process - but still the whole thing is complete disaster on his side. he was always shy around her, now there's also... all this, no wonder he can't talk to her at all!!

so, to sum it up: Kuroiro is intense, he's surprisingly idealistic, he's tragically insecure, and he has some very rigid ideas about himself and the world around him that he probably needs to let go of. he's just a mess of a teenager with a lot of to figure out - and he does figure it out, he does get his happy ending eventually! (a conversation with Kinoko, among other things, is something that definitely would be a crucial part in his,, character arc, i guess? and y'know what, while i do really like them as a couple, i think them just getting to talk things out is a "happy ending" regardless of whether they end up together)

OH and by the way: i'm not saying that he's like, going against himself at all times! he's not an actual master schemer or a complete lone wolf but a lot of things about how he acts are perfectly genuine. his affinity for all things dark is genuine, his interest in taboos is genuine, and his love for theatrics is also genuine! in that matter, it's actually not a phase lol he's just like that :] would be blasphemous to say otherwise, that's what we all love him for..!

aaand this concludes my little essay about one of my favorite 1b kids!! the picture of him that i have in my head is very clear, that's why he's the first character that i chose to write this kind of post about - i'm just pretty confident about the hcs i have for him haha. i'm also thinking about writing a more lighthearted list of hcs to complete the vision (ya know, like the good ol days) because there's STILL so much that i haven't shared since it didn't fit this post - so stay tuned for that if you enjoyed this!! see you next month probably

[goomyloid]

hi sorry if this is a lot BUT! i have really enjoyed your art for a while and for some reason only now thought to actually go thru your blog.. i saw you tag a lot of things as kriselle and i found your post explaining that and. yeah i think i get you

bc like to me im not a fan of them romantically unless it’s specifically focusing on the fucked-upness of snowgrave. in that case it hurts but it’s like. reeeaaally interesting

but they’re also like. they can’t be accurately described as “friends.” they’re so close and so far from one another. they grew up together. they both know things nobody else does. they understand each other better than anyone else. and yet they haven’t talked much in years. noelle questions if kris is even her friend. they’re not quite friends but also, of course they are, how could they ever not be

anyways all this to say umm. kris and noelle make one go insane

hiii!! thank you for enjoying my art firstly 🥺🥺🥺 i have a disease and its called draw kris and noelle as many times as humanly possible. i am indeed insane

when it comes to pairings i think it might just be the gray area between (or outside of) friendship and romance that is unexplainable and comforting but still strange (this is a pattern ive noticed for almost all pairings i like, romantic or not...) like just being able to look at a couple of characters and recognize the unique closeness they have with each other...

that being said i will support romantic kriselle shippers till my dying breath LMAO its just not My Vision (you get me)... i think i ended up saying this on twitter a couple times but whatever those two have going on in the estranged childhood friends department is just infinitely more interesting to me LOL. and it becomes easier to tag things as kriselle even if theyre literally Just Standing In the Same Image Together

(i actually filled out one of my own ship charts for them, and when i posted it i was very nervous about somehow multi-track drifting into simultaneously disappointing everyone in some way (for being an apparent kriselle shipper and/or not actually shipping them romantically) So it makes me happy that people out there understand where im coming from with my interpretations of them...)

Also yes i love the weird fucked up romantic implications of snowgrave a lot lol. its HORRIBLE and im obsessed with it. kris putting a ring on noelle's finger and neither of them are happy about it. hand in unlovable hand and all that. as hellspawnmotel once put it, they get forced into this extremely strange and uncomfortable, almost heteronormative husband-and-wife (again ring imagery) kind of vision Which is so horribly unsettling considering theyre just two queer kids trying to exist (something something kris getting commonly misgendered with he/him and noelle having a very obvious crush on another girl). as a nonbinary lesbian it almost comes off as this really fucked up correctionist way of playing where noelle just becomes a romanceable option, not to kris but to the PLAYER and kris is just forced to go along with it. it SUCKS. and its SO interesting to me i cant stop thinking about it after THREE YEARS.

omfg i did not mean to write so much sirry. this is what happens when you talk to me about kriselle btw. Ty for the ask!!!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Tsumikis plot going down the drain actually one of the beginnings to my villain arc I remember being so hyped for it watching season 1 only for it to ??????? Whatever but anyways you fr have prophet abilities or something im actually convinced (manifest us episode Karasu/ Karasu light novel please)

CHIGIRIS FACE JN THE LATEST ONE HAD ME CRYING LIKE BRO WAS WEIRDED OUT it’s giving “mom come pick me up im scared” but YEAHH chigiri getting to let loose and be like a raging teen boy with nagi and Barou and zantetsu and do the “let’s go” pose and accompanied man roar (ykwim) sigh but HEAVY ON THAT yeah the whole girlboss counterpart idea is er interesting to say that least but on brand for fanon activities…..

AMERICASONA I SCREAMEEED THATS too funny but EXACTLY MY VISION like Bachira would be like “make her paper heart” or something and otoya would be like damn ok and when it actually works otoyas like bro you’re the rizz master mentor me Bachira LMAO banned from mcs building real for that

wait I lowk forgot about that game I had it downloaded for awhile but didn’t do anything with it oops but YEAH from what I’ve seen I bet there’s some nice interaction content there that the series desperately needed ugh

LMAOAOA THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING like imagine y/n being nagi and having to interact with reo and the soccer team and reo is fr like wtf happened to you (the possessed line is genius though omg)

LMAOO TRUE also wait YUKITULLI TIME?? also yeahhhh it was insane because the wording was so distinct too…I’m pretty certain a couple writers were like “yeah I saw this copy paste floating around so I’m

Not gonna write it!!” And good for them honestly also with your wc I don’t think you could ever be accused of plagiarism LMAOOOOOOO when the characters get unpacked instead of reverse haremed >>>>

SJHSSJ no because it’s technically still functioning and doing the basic things I bought it for so I can’t justify upgrading it yet….theres also a lot of backup prep work id need to get done before I get rid of that and I’m afraid now is most definitely not the time for that (speaking of now it’s my tablet that’s crashing out (literally) and I’m losing my mind everytime I try to open an app it CRASHES like LOAD PLEASE I BEG I literally came SO. CLOSE like the loading progress bar made it so far and then nope. SIGH)

LAMOAOA REAL NGL I watched it because my friend wanted me to and it was a good like no brain light hearted watch but the art style is not my type between the flat hair and face shape and eyes SORRY yeah no I’ll stick to my crow man…but yeah it’s interesting because hq is like the opposite extreme of the sports spectrum where it’s friendship is magic not I’ll climb your corpse and become number one

TIME FOR YOU TO START DRAFTIMG EPIKARASU that’s crazy fr though the chick still has me laughing it’s also like prime pfp material

Every time we circle back to this I have to take a deep breath because seriously get a life was it ever that serious…like people beefing it out fighting between two ships involving one character and I’m like……please….touch some grass….or even look at some pictures of grass….remind yourself of the existence of the outside…..

Nah fr shipped logic is honestly so hypocritical most of the time that I can’t even get myself to read their arguments because it makes me like rage quit equivalent of reading like you just contradicted yourself get out…..

Also isagi pedestalling nagi will never be not funny to me he’s fr like “he’s a monster/genius/god” and I’m like chill bro we get it

BAROUUUUU can’t wait to see him on the field also wait I think it’s really funny that the recent promo has basically spoiled the three subs because they include them in official art specifically for the u20 match team and I’m like imagine getting spoiled by the official accounts themselves LOL

LMAAOA literally me I will not be stepping out of the closet with this one guess this is my sign pay more attention to notes now you’ve got me intrigued LMFAOO STAY IN SCHOOL

IM CRYING TRUE for me I don’t think any experience will beat being sick it’s actually the worst like why am I being put out of commission for like a week and a half but anyways yes manifesting bacteria be gone…

LMAOAOA in classic Mira fashion indeed this is actually really funny but I’m sure it’s actually cooking so hard based off of the previews you showed honestly the MLP fan in me almost wants to expand this into a separate bllk universe and give every character their own Pegasus just imagine but anyways the angel take in the Kaiser fic too was a really refreshing fantasy au take too your brain is so big

Ok time to pull out the big brain mode and ponder the themes again lowk….but SHSHSH I would say NOOO but also so real for that I’ve definitely felt that with other platforms too like but OK we’re safe then although I’m ngl I don’t even use all that many things anymore and actually don’t use discord oops (I have trauma from that one friend telling me i have off discord user vibes like WHAT GOODBYE tbf it was also a friend who’s also into like anime and whatever so wasn’t closeted but still I did NOT ENJOY THAT EXPERIENCE) but should the time ever come we’ll figure something out I’m sure LOL

Ok first off from a purely pokemon standpoint Charizard and hiori is a crazy matchup even though I know that’s not what the event is doing LMAO this is truly a unique experience there’s another thing I didn’t think id hear bringing yuki into this is crazy work wait I’m crying yuki is fr just getting the short end of the stick in every miraverse au getting one sided beef from Karasu being the villain in hollyhock this is too funny justice will never come to him LMFAOOOO also I’m crying the “KENYU MF YUKIMIYA IS INTO ME” is SOOOO FUNNY LMFOAOAOAAOAAOAOA ok but now that they mention bm dorm i kinda get it although bm Yukimiya is NOT my favorite but anyways

HE WHAT??????? DAMN I lowk thought you just meant yeah i like him now so im adding

Him to the bottom of my list of characters I like but REPLACING REO I was not expecting that but considering what you wrote for sae i can see if seabird has me on the edge of swerving too wait ok i know that’s a sae tiktok but Isagis ghost white face in the beginning made me laugh oh wait that edit kinda goes hard especially with the music….oh…LMFAOO SAE THEME imagine sae theme before Karasu theme that’d be wild anyways maybe the carnivorous pegasi will make me swerve who knows

Your memes are actually way too funny i lost my mind at the Oliver one fr i need that framed on my wall the otoya yuki one is also hilarious sorry yuki but i find the blind jokes really funny THE YOU JUST TALK TO THEM IS TOO OFOYA CODED actually hilarious peak comedy right here STOP THE KAISER ONE IS SO FUNNY TOO ITS LOTERALLY THEM???

Ok the panel of nagis ego disappearing after he shoots the five shot revolver volley thing is actually so majestic one of my fav panels of him fr

CHEISTMAS NAGI wait the way they edited the Santa hat onto him is some crazy work talk about editing skills

I’ll never get over Nanamis goofy ass color palette and his goggles like wtf and the tie pattern is atrocious but I’m dying I read your comment about needing it to make its way into a Karasu edit and my fingers automatically saved the tiktok to my bllk folder LMAOOO BUT REAL PMG THE AUDIO wait it’s so Karasu someone edit this RIGHT NOW ugh I miss Karasu wtf

NAGI MOMENT so real honestly he gets the best quality scenes too like they’re pulling all the stops for him

LAMAOA IM CRYING THE WAY YOU ACTUALLY TJOIGHT OF NESS BUT YES I SEE THE VISION!!! I never willingly think of ness though ngl you just work overtime on the opps too but the audio does makes sense with him I’ll admit LMAO

RAGHHHHH KARASU SHIDOU BESTIES unironically love the spiky hair duo

CHIGIRI COMING IN CLUTCH FR!! I actually love that scene omg but also Isagi has NO survival instinct bro wasn’t going to duck or dodge or anything like hello

KM CRYINF IVE SEEN THIS OTOYA KARASU ONE LMFOAOOOO AIKU IN THE BACK LMFOAOOOOO REAL

IVE SEEN THIS ONE TOO AND SO REAL

When I tell you I almost passed out when they showed us that scene of Karasu doing pre match analysis like HE LOOKS SO FINE IOSKNDKDJSJS and the second to last scene in that tiktok GOODBYE I NEED MY MAN BACK NOWWAS

- Karasu anon

no literally like she was set up to be so cool and honestly even the yorozu thing wasn’t. HORRIBLE. per se. but it was just executed in a weird way and it just felt like another case of gege lowkey being unable/unwilling to write female characters and so just shelving them and giving them shitty conclusions instead of proper story arcs and development the way their male counterparts got…LMAOOO PLEASE i fr can just predict the future #praying for a karasu and otoya light novel release soon SDFHK the third person can be kiyora (provided he’s staying in the manga) ngl they might wait until nel is over so as to not spoil who’s staying since a lot of characters (kiyora, nanase, etc) are hanging in the balance and might not pass this arc so they might just not want to release until we know for sure they’ll be continuing onwards?? because a karasu - kiyora - otoya release would make a lot of sense given epinagi and their backstories all coming out at relatively the same time

CHIGIRI WAS SUFFERING BROOOO he was just trying to be nice and show concern for reo but he was NOT prepared for THAT…i know for a fact bro went straight to bachira and isagi to let them know what was going on because that was a DIABOLICAL interaction 😭 and agreed we really get to see a diff side of chigiri in epinagi which is really fun…he’s so silly with nagi barou and zantetsu (that one panel of him jumping on nagi’s shoulders while nagi’s like :x is SO FUNNY and it’s so cuteee too plus the one of him and zantetsu flexing at one another) it feels like epinagi also treats him like a guy more?? idk if that makes sense it makes sense to me 😓 but yeah pretty much just fandom doing its thing there with regards to that relationship SDKHF they’re honestly not even shown interacting THAT much if you think about it i think people just have their headcanons and run with them or smth because we see chigiri and like bachira interacting way more but i hardly ever see people talking about THEIR friendship

I LOVEE COMING UP WITH AMERICASONAS LMAOAOAO like yukimiya’s is bradley, chigiri is jesse, uhhh who else, i think isagi would be kyle?? KARASU’S IS TYLER SDKFH anyways imagine otoya is just indulging bachira because he and bachira are the only ones doing anything on their team so he’s like “ok sure i’ll make her a card and tell her she has a beautiful smile” and then it works and otoya’s like hold on bro…you cooked…and bachira’s just like 😄 LMAOAOA imagine lavinho gets involved too but his advice is HORRIBLE so it’s like otoya alternating between doing sweet stuff like drawing us holding hands in crayon and then like a day later he pulls up and is like “hey girl 😉 you remind me of my little toe 🙂‍↕️ because i’m probably going to bang you on the coffee table later when i’m drunk 😘” HAHAHA omg wait a new wingman has entered the villa…aiku shidou and now bachira…miraverse blue lock wingmen agenda is too strong

PLEASE omg wait i have a nagi request that’s just “can you write for nagi” dare i say freaky friday nagi version may be incoming…the only thing is like how would they end up switching bodies 🧐 because with y/n and karasu it was that they were beefing and then karasu yelled at the witch so she switched their bodies but i a) don’t see nagi beefing with anyone and b) don’t see nagi yelling at a witch LMAOO something to ponder when i’m at that point ig 😭 omg wait speaking of freaky friday somebody reblogged it a while back saying it was a “peak fic but should’ve been yaoiful” i was like what 😭 very confusing comment i’m still not sure how to take it

yukitullia would be insane…but tullirin…ngl i think it’s just going to come down to what plot idea i have first and whether nagi or karasu fits it better LMAOO and then tullia can be with yukimiya or rin based on that actually wait ykw would be another hilarious pairing is tullisae i feel like they would be very seabird sae and reader coded ☝🏻 but if she’s with sae who would reader be with…hmm…sae is even more friendless than rin and he also doesn’t have the benefit of having any really interesting pairings that i would want to look at (like rin with nagi) sooo actually wait i wouldn’t write it but imagine tullisae and then reader with AIKU SKDJHFSDLK

yeah i def respect them for saying no!! i don’t think i’ve ever said no to a request i just let them rot in my inbox for ages 😭 actually wait someone requested a sequel to seabird for my 1k event and i was like okay i don’t want to waste an event spot for something that everyone and their mother has been asking for so i’m going to veto that idea because if i do write a sequel to it it’ll just be because everyone wants one?? although ngl idt i will just because i think part of the fun and magic of seabird is the fact that we don’t really know what happens next (except we kinda do because rin mentions in the cherry tree sequel that sae and seabird reader are getting married) tbh i don’t think i’d be able to do their relationship justice if i did a sequel 🧐 so that will probably remain sequel-less ANYWAYS back to the original discussion HAHA yess i think tropes like reverse harem/love triangles only work if they are being used to reveal something about the character like if it’s just “i want a hot guy to like the mc” it feels shallow but if the love triangle is being used as an exploration of the characters or furthering the themes i think they can be really cool to include

HELPPP you need to like do an exorcism for your electronics or smth omg why are they all tweaking at the same time 😭

two of my best friends and i watched the first couple of episodes of hq together in my basement and halfway through i went upstairs for like fifteen minutes and threw up and then i came back downstairs and we continued watching and the next day i tested positive for covid LMAOOO so that’s my hq experience in a nutshell 😭 it’s like a meme for us now…we’ll bring it up like “remember when we were watching hq and you got covid???” yeah the artstyle really does not do it for me i could not imagine myself finding any of them attractive

EPIKARASU TIME FR omg i love the chick though it would be such a funny pfp actually

i miss when people used to ship literally anyone and everyone i think there’s so much discourse about it now that it’s like. CRAZY. not that there weren’t ship wars back in the day but i feel like the vibes were different…anyways i accidentally ended up reading a fem karasu x fem kaiser fic last night so that’s where MY opinions are re:shipping (it was kinda hilarious actually i was like how am i here…but then i was like wtvr for karasu ig i’ll do it…)

ISAGI GLAZES NAGI SM IT CRACKS ME UP like damn bro we get it you think he’s cool (ngl me too) in second selection especially it’s SO funny because he cannot stop like nagi will literally breathe on the field and isagi will be like holy shit…he’s unreal…the god of breathing…LMAOAOA honestly most unrealistic thing about blue lock is that isagi didn’t choose nagi’s team in third selection like i know for plot reasons he had to choose rin or else he wouldn’t even have made the bllk11 but like who in their right mind wouldn’t choose “guaranteed chemical reactions” when you have ONE game to prove yourself 😭 also let’s be real i think nagi would’ve been way more willing to pass to isagi and let him shine and whatnot than rin was…obviously that’s against the mentality of bllk and shit but still

wait i didn’t even think about that tbh i forget that there are anime onlies for bllk because the manga is sm better that if anything people are mostly manga onlies if anything ☝🏻 but YESSS AHHH I AM SO HYPE FOR BAROU just gotta get through an itoshi fest before we can see him shine

HELPP i really do think it’s a product of how small the fandom is so like the groups are very overt/in your face which makes it easier to identify them 😭 it’s like a game for me honestly like it’s very unserious

ANGEL KAISER WAS SO FUN okay your inner mlp fan will be pleased to hear that there will be quite a few characters featuring with pegasi of their own!! well not their OWN because they’re just jockeys but ykwim…off the top of my head sae, kaiser, leonardo luna, bachira, maybe isagi, noel noa, ego, hiori so far all have a named pegasus they are or will be mentioned riding 😛 they’re not all as relevant (some are literally just there to fill out the races so it’s not just two pegasi that we know of racing LMAO) but they all have names and colors…i won’t spoil them yet EXCEPT leonardo luna’s just because it is cracking me UP i think i’m going to name his pegasus “lunar eclipse” because is that not the funniest shit ever 😭😭😭 anyways yeah this is another one that’s going to end up being LONG i think however a surprising amt of people seem excited for it?? one of the sae reqs actually got changed to kaiser with dark/ghost (supernatural au/reincarnation) because the person said they thought my fantasy au ideas were so cool and they thought i could really cook with a more unique prompt (as opposed to normal/rock with sae which iirc is just fluff/modern au)

LMAOOO HELP I FORGOT YOU ENDURED THAT 😭 i’m the opposite people are always shocked that i watch anime and use discord and whatnot (IF they even find out) so i literally use it in public FJDJS my mindset is that my face card lets me get away w being weird…is that realistic NO but whatever i am #cringebutfree anyways if anything we can always just be tik tok mutuals or something…or we can exchange emails and email each other when new bllk episodes drop LMAOAAO IMAGINE 😭😭😭 jokes aside yes trust it will all work out and besides i don’t plan on deactivating atm so it’s a concern for later

PLSSS JUSTICE FOR YUKIMIYA 😭 at least he bagged yayoi in bfb??? but otherwise yeah bro is struggling omg and agreed everything about it is kind of blowing my mind but i think it will be fun!! ngl both love triangle requests i’ve gotten have been kinda random like kunigami and karasu is no less random tbh the difference is that i actually would pick karasu over kuni 😩 agreed though bm yuki is fr a diff character or smth tbh…bring back third selection u20 rough and tumble yuki 🙏🏻 wait ngl going back to earlier parts of the convo imagine ROUGH AND TUMBLE yukimiya with tullia (or even reader) that would actually be soooo fun orrr speaking of character backstory adjusting aus i was talking to jeirin abt what blue lock would be like if (somehow) nagi was discovered by aiku and became the u20 team’s ace instead of being discovered by reo and that would also be really fun to write at some point i think…people would hate me because i would make it so blue lock is dissolved but let’s be real blue lock 11 without nagi ever being in bllk is cooked — isagi and probably barou would never awaken, reo would also never really awaken or even be involved, and nagi also scored their first goal?? but him + sae is a lethal combo i fear they would in fact win (also i’m a nagi glazer plus it would be cool to write that i think) tbh that’s actually one where i would write it as just a character study on nagi instead of a reader insert story but idk i’m scared of opps and i’ve never written something from the pov of a canon character (except aiku ig) so it would be a little out of my comfort zone…hm…many thoughts atm

LMAAOAO RIP REO i feel like i haven’t cared much abt reo in a while he’s kind of in the chigiri bucket where his fanon version is so annoying i stopped liking him except with reo his additional times are also kinda giving his fanon self so i’m like oh…now FIRST SELECTION reo?? UNBEATABLE but him ever since then has been slightly meh i fear 😭 ngl sae is one who i do like but specifically and only my version of him FJDJSJ like seabird sae/carnivorous pegasi racer sae my BELOVEDS but i could never read him written by anyone else because i only like a very exact characterization of him and most people don’t really do that LMAOAO so he’s like a conditional top five for me 🧐 ngl of my top favs i can only occasionally read about karasu because everyone else is constantly mischaracterized to the point that i’m just like eugh this isn’t even my glorious bf this is just some white haired mf who hates women 😢

THE SAE EDIT IS SOOO HEAT ISN’T IT like the combo with the music and the scenes they used are soooo good 😭 shocked isagi is so funny though agreed he is FLABBERGASTED

LMAOOO I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THE MEMES I HAD SM FUN MAKING THEM 😭😭😭 they are sooo silly bro i need more yuki and otoya interactions ik for a fact that yuki thinks he’s dumb asf wait lowkey it would be hilarious if otoya thinks he and yuki are chill and yukimiya is just rude to him in the way karasu is but then he sees yuki w nagi and he’s like wait am i the problem…yukimiya can’t escape one sided beef HAHA at least this time he’s the one hating not being hated

THE PANEL OF NAGI’S EGO DISAPPEARING AND THE ONE OF HIM CELEBRATING HIS GOAL ARE SOOOO COLD call me isagi the way i’m abt to glaze him so horrendously 🤤

christmas nagi is so precious princess pookie like imagine him drinking hot chocolate wearing a santa hat 🥹 actually ngl shidou would jump him because he hates santa but it would be so cute

NANAMI IS SOOO GOOFY i fear i will always hate…the fanon shidou friend was obsessed with nanami also so extra reason to find him an opp 😭 but RIGHT it’s SOSOSO karasu coded like him in the third selection especially ughhh #needthat

been saying from the start nagi is the fav and it’s not a close contest 🤩 even in third selection w the worst animation yet he still looked cute

LMAOOO THE INNER EDITOR IN ME COMES OUT REGARDLESS i too usually forget abt ness but i heard the audio and i was like holy SHIT it’s perfect i just need someone who actually likes him to get on it (although he doesn’t have the panels/moments for it yet…most of his scenes are him crying and being emo over kaiser he needs to have his glow up to be edited like that)

KARASU AND SHIDOU BESTIES FOR THE RESTIES (karasu does NOT approve of this message) I LOVE THEM SM TBH PEAK DUO

THE WAY ISAGI JUST STANDS THERE LIKE 🧍 IS SO FUNNY bro was fr just going to let shidou rock his shit 😭 god bless chigiri fr (or not…that would’ve been one less opp to think abt 😒 maybe we should be manifesting shidou absolutely taking out isagi next chapter)

AIKU IN THE BACK AND THE WAY HE ZOOMS INTO THE FRAME CRACK ME UP it’s sooooo oaeu coded like this is actually what happens in the otoya chapter when otoya reforms himself and aiku gives reader “rizz advice”

HFSKSJ i love every single video that uses one of those genre of audios…like the “naw 😨 that’s CRAZY” or the “jit TRIPPING” audios idek where they’re from but they’re all hilarious and so out of pocket it makes me laugh every time

KARASU IN THAT EP WAS SOOOOO GLORIOUS OMFG that episode doing the MOST for us karasu fans and then the episode right after being nagi’s goal genuinely healed smth in me LMAOOO now we wait because next ep will probably be rin’s goal + aryu’s block but then. BUT THEN. BAROUUUUUUUUUU (i mean technically shidou first but shidou is in this weird spot where he’s not an opp but also not a fav…admittedly his goals are really really hype though so it’ll be fun to see them playing out)

[nonuggetshere]

Transcript under the readmore (it got LONG):

Message from used Big Mama (OP):

I said I'm no longer making buggycule fankids but then I mentioned that root babies resulting from asexual reproduction can look nearly identical to their parents and now I'm fighting fucking demons again

LOOK

LOOK

LOOK AT ME

LOOK AT ME OKAY

A LITTLE BOY WHO LOOKS A LOT LIKE FLOWER BUT WITH MISMATCHED HORN LENGTH AND DUAL COLOURED HAIR FROM VOID

DO YOU SEE MY VISION

Message from user chopped liver:

👀 (blurry eyes emoji)

Message from used Big Mama:

There are some differences that become more obvious the older he gets but as a kid they look like a spitting image of their parent when they were younger

Flower, when their partners have their tubes snipped and they're on birth control ever since they've found out about the asexual reproduction of roots yet STILL turn up pregnant: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

Message from user chopped liver:

Petunia: what?? What are you yelling about— oh my god

Flower: (three emojis holding their faces in exasperation) I don’t even know how this happened

Message from user Big Mama:

Flower's just gonna need some floor time for a while

"My body is actively working against me..."

Message fromnuser chopped liver:

And then goes and flops onto Wl

“It fuckin happened again”

“Wh? Ooohhhh nooooo -laughs-“

Message from user Big Mama:

Flower, shaking her: I hate being a root! Why did I have to get your genes?! How do you deal with this?!

WL: It's actually quite rare for mated roots to reproduce asexually, it happened only once to me in the thousands of years I've been with your father, you're just insanely unlucky it seems

But everybody thinks it's kinda cute how similar they are to Flower

I imagine the previous twins are adults or old teens now so this is gonna be the only "single" kid the three are gonna raise

Ohhh maybe the poor guy has a little bit of identity issues? Being so similar to their parent and being compared to them, even if the people in their life took care to not do that and let them develop their own identity I bet the retainers and guards would still make these comparisons

Goes through a phase as a teen to try and be as different from their ma as possible, and maybe let's out some of that angst by being argumentative with them

But Flower always tries to be supportive and is there if he needs it

OH him realising he's trans as a teen but is afraid to tell anyone because he feels like he's expected to be so much like his mama, not even by his family but by the other people around him

Maybe goes to Sting for advice because she also resembles their parent a lot and has a lot to live up to as the heir

FUCK I CAME HERE TO BE DISCOURAGED FROM THIS BUT INSTEAD IM DEVELOPING A FUCKING OC I HATE THIS YOUVE FAILED ME (lighthearted) (joke)

OH I LIKE HAVING MY CHARACTERS HAVE MEANINGFUL NAMES I wanna give him a name Aurora and give him and Flower a similar moment that Flower had with their parents where they go show him aurora borealis

They ended up far up north in their travels when he was a kid and Flower really wanted to show him just like their parents did for them

This stuck with him so when he eventually settled on a name he chose that

Plus, I think it'd be cute if he chose something that reminded him of a bonding moment with his parent! His relationship with Flower was rocky during his teen years thanks to all the problems I've mentioned and Flower being the easiest person to blame for it, but after he opens up to them finally they begin to grow closer together and understand one another, and he finally chooses a name that reminds them both of a very special moment for them

"You- you're really fine with me wanting to change my name?"

"Of course I am! What sort of parent would I be if I wasn't? You know, I chose my own name too, when I was just a couple of years older than you."

He grows quiet and looks away, huffing.

"...What's wrong?"

"Of course you did, why wouldn't you? I- I'll always be just your shadow, won't I?"

And Flower's face falls, "...Is being similar to me really such a bad thing?" They come to sit next to him on the bed, "You're my child, of course you'll be similar to me," They pull him in closer, "But that doesn't mean you're not your own person also."

He sighs heavily and leans his head against their chest, "...It's just...it feels like everybody expects me to be just like you, you know? Like I'm...supposed to be this perfect prince just because I look like you..."

"...I think I know how you feel. I've been compared to your grandfather countless times, especially after I took on the title of an heir and then the king. Everybody expects you to be just like or even better than your parent, and everytime you make a mistake they're quick to point it out. It feels...suffocating, doesn't it?"

He quiets down for a moment then nods.

"You're not alone in this. I know it's hard but try to ignore them, people will always talk and make assumptions but that doesn't define who you are. You've never been my shadow, kiddo. You're your own person, and if it means anything I'm so damn proud of who that person's becoming."

He looks up at them then leans in and hugs them tightly, "...Thank you, mama..."

Their breath hitches and they tear up a bit, fighting back tears as they hug him back, "You...haven't called me that in so long..."

"I know, I-...I'm sorry. I love you, mama..."

"I love you too, sweetheart, so much..."

Message from user chopped liver:

Flowers a good mama!!!!

Message from user Big Mama:

They're gonna cry about it then Flower pulls away a bit and lifts his chin up, smiling down at him

"So, did you pick a name already?"

"Oh- I- not- not yet..."

"Take as long as you need then, kiddo. We can go to library together and find some name books for you, if you'd like?"

He smiles softly, "I- I'd love that, actually."

Big Mama, replying to chopped liver:

They are!!!!

Me when a character breaks the cycle of abuse 🥰

Message from user Big Mama:

Aurora going through an emo or punk phase not because it's what he likes but because it's the opposite of his parent's soft, flowy, floral aesthetic

I think like he'd be the kind of teen to always make suicide jokes that gets his parents incredibly concerned

Like he just has the vibes of a teen who when faced with the smallest of minor inconveniences would reply with "what if I killed myself?"

Aurora LOVES scarfs I've decided

(One more part in a reblog, will add image descriptions after)

[hollandsmushroom]

A dom tom were the reader find him playing cod and she plays with him but then she say im going to get a snack and then she have an idea and put the song white tee summer Walker and come to tom and gave him. A lap dance. 🌝I hope you understand and yes i forget and then tom fucks her sooooo rough and haaaaarddddd and faaaaast and please let her sqouirt 2 times please ♏♏♏♏

Okay, I really hope that I got this right, and I hope that you like it. I wrote this in what felt like a fucking fever dream, like it just poured out of me.

A/N: This was my first time writing Dom!Tom or really even this rough of sex, I’ve never really written degradation before but I hope you enjoy. 

Request Something(Or tell me your thoughts on this piece)

Masterlist

Summary: Just look at the request

Word Count: 2,417

Warnings: Pure Filth, Degradation, Fingering, Lap dance, spanking(a couple mentions), Overstimulation, Riding, Squirting, internal Orgasm, Dom!Tom, Mean Dom!Tom, Biting, If I missed anything I’m sorry. 

 Silence filled your ears as your feet led you mindlessly down stairs, the knuckle of your thumb rubbing into your eyes as you tried to swipe away the sleep that had built up during your nap. You were in search of your boyfriend, waking up with an insatiable urge to hold him, that wasn’t the only thing that you wanted to do but your intent was not to go for the x-rated part of your needs first, you wanted to see you you could get Tom to initiate it, to tempt him. You followed the only noise you could hear in the house, guiding you to your boyfriend. Small utterances of exasperation leading you to the den. You leaned your shoulder against the door jam, watching Tom where he sat, his thumbs flitting rapidly over the controller, only making you think about how they would feel on your clit, rubbing over the pulsing nub. You shook your head, a physical attempt to shake those filthy thoughts loose from your brain. Your movement caught Tom’s attention, dragging his eyes from the TV to your oversized t-shirt clad frame, hair a mess from your pillow, a lazy smile  adorning his cheeks as he turned back to the screen.

“Afternoon sleepy head” he chided, eyes flitting back to you before scooting over on the couch. “Come sit” he offered, the empty space next to him inviting your form. You shouldered yourself off of the wall, walking towards Tom and picking up your pace for the few steps that you impaired his vision, your body colliding with the soft cushions of the couch as you fell back. You cheek met Tom’s bare shoulder, leaving light kisses in your way of saying Hello to him. 

“Love, you’re distracting me” he hummed, raising his shoulder and pushing you away from him, a small frown developing on your lips as you pouted at him, that hadn’t worked, an immediate and offhanded denial of your affections, this may be a little harder than you had thought. 

“Was only trying to love you but okay then” you bit at him, slightly grumpy at the rejection. 

“Sorry, babes, I’m trying to beat this level” he explained, it made more sense now but it didn’t mean you liked it. 

“Can I play?” you asked, if he was going to deny your affection then maybe you could do something with him, a lay over to your actual intention seeing as you had resolved that you would get dicked down before the sunset. 

“F’course, doll, here” he passed you a controller that was sat on the coffee table in front of you, not making eye contact but you purposely brushed your hand against his as you took the remote out of his hand. You pressed the center button and joined the game, smiling as you began to play alongside Tom. Throughout the game you made moves on him, getting closer to his body, rubbing your bare thigh against his, biting your lip in concentration and he managed to ignore all of it. 

You let out a moan when you character died, under the guise it was a moan of frustration but it came out close to pornographic, making Tom’s ears prick up his eyes moving to watching you next to him, your legs spread and you panty clothed core showing from under the hem of your shirt, a small wet patch catching his eye, a smirk spreading on his lips in realization, you were needy. 

“M’ gonna go get a snack” you mumbled, standing up and stretching your arms above your head, arching your back and sighing in pleasure, the upward motion of your shoulders exposing your panties and the bottom of your stomach. Tom knew what you were doing, and it made something boil inside of him, you were being a little brat, you could just ask for what you wanted, but no, you went about it this way. 

“kay” Tom responded, watching as your hips swayed on your way to the kitchen. He smiled to himself at your actions, proud that he managed to make you as horny as this without even doing anything. He went back to his game but his attention was no longer fully in the graphics that flashed across the screen, his mind now focused on the memory of your tight cunt and how well he filled you as you would scream his name, begging to cum. He noticed the addition of music to the atmosphere as you strutted back into the room, a devilish smile on your face as you fell to your knees in front of Tom, hands resting on his knee caps as you pushed them away from each other to spread his legs. His eyes widened at your bold movements, setting his remote control next to him on the couch and placing his hands behind his head. 

“Watcha’ doing, Love?” he hummed as you began to rise from your place on your knees, your chest brushing against his hardening cock, your pointed nipples poking through your shirt and catching Tom’s eyes as you continued to go up his body. 

“Giving you a show” you spoke as if it was obvious, because, well, it was. Tom captured his lip between his teeth as you put your knees on either side of his hips, grinding your hips down against his, eliciting a moan from the back of your throat as you threw your head back, arching your chest into his face. His hands went to grab your ass, instinct beginning to take hold, his need to dominate the situation, but you slapped his hands away. Crawling off of Tom’s heated body. You stood in front of Tom, stripping your top off and grabbing your breasts in your hands, pinching your nipples and biting your lip, looking Tom in the eye, teasing him. You turned around, bending down as if you were touching your toes and giving your ass a small shake, Tom had to hold his hand back from smacking or biting the supple flesh that was so tauntingly jiggling in front of his face. You sat back, placing your hand on his thighs and your ass on his dick, once again grinding down against him, this time making him moan. You began to move your hips in circles to the final beats of the song that you had been dancing to, your hands going back to behind both yours and Tom’s head, grasping that back of his neck and bringing you back flush to his front, arching your naked chest up as you finished your movements. 

As soon as the last notes of the song played out Tom’s hands were on your breasts, squeezing them harshly and tweaking the nipples aggressively between his fingers. 

“So needy for me, Love, you could have just asked,” Tom teased, his lips moving to just beneath your ear and beginning to suck on your sweet spot, sweet moans falling from your lips. 

“Tommy!” you moaned loudly, but you needed more “I need you Tommy, I need you” you breathed out between sighs of pleasure as the little stimulation he was giving you.

“What do you need, baby?” he wanted to hear you beg, to cry out in need for his cock or tongue or fingers.

“All of you, Tommy” you whimpered pitifully, the squeeze on your nipples nearly becoming too much. 

“Yeah? All of me, huh, how's this?” he asked, his fingers slipping into the front of your soaking wet panties, immediately applying ample pressure to your clit with his thumb and to fingers teased your dripping entrance, he smirked as he realize that your arousal had spread along your thighs and down your taint, pride growing in his chest at just how desperate you were for him. His fingers sank into your core without warning. 

“FUCK” you cried, his fingers beginning to slide in and out of you at a rapid pace, dragging against every ridge of muscle that adorned the walls of your tight cunt. His fingers picked up the pace, the only sounds in the room being your sighs and pants of pleasure and his fingers digging into you as if he was searching for something at your cervix. He bit down on your neck, whispering quietly to you. 

“You take my fingers so well, needy little slut aren’t you” he sucked over the spot he had just bitten, groaning as your hips ground back into his. “My needy little whore, all mine,” he whispered, his words in juxtaposition to the tone of his voice which carried the tone of worship, and it was, just your unique form of it. He curled the tips of his fingers into the soft spongy spot that hid deep within you, your legs trying to clamp around his hand as he repeated the motion. 

“T-T-Tom, I’m g-gonna cum” you managed to get out through the pleasure that was taking hold in every part of your body. His knees hooked in the inside of yours, holding you open for him to continue his assault on your core. 

“Cum for me, let go on my fingers, soak my palm, feel lucky that I’m letting you cum you fucking tease” he encouraged your orgasm, his thumb pushing upwards and harder against your clit, the extra pressuring sending you spinning into your orgasm, your cunt emitting a sloshing noise that made Tom bite his lip, knowing what had just happened as his hand got insanely wet. Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you came down from your orgasm, the world around you seeming to still as you felt and uncommon amount of cool between your legs, your soaked panties sticking to your core as Tom withdrew his hand, turning you around in his lap so you faced him, watching as he brought his fingers to his parted lips and sucked them clean of the cum that now graced his pale digits, pulling pack and flattening his tongue against his palm, licking the slickness that had gathered on his palm.

He didn’t let you fully catch your breath, lifting you by your hips, ridding you of your soaked panties and sliding his pants down his hips, positioning his cock with one hand and guiding your hips with the other, slamming you down onto his length, fully sheathing himself in your heat with the first thrust. A scream ripping from the back of your throat as tears pricked your eyes, the stretch nearly too much for you to handle. 

“You’re gonna take what you get, this is what you get for teasing me” he bucked his hips up into yours, your ass slapping his thighs, the impact stinging your cheeks as he continued the motion, the relentless pull of his foreskin against your walls burning through your body as you arched your chest into Tom’s face, his teeth capturing one of your nipples and biting down hard, a mixture of pain and pleasure exploding through your body as you felt another orgasm building up in you. 

“Tom, I-I’m gonna cum again” you panted, it all felt too much but his lips replaced his teeth and he sucked relentlessly on your nub, tears leaking down your face as you came again, squirting onto Tom’s lap, it splashed off of where you skin met and soaked the bottom of Tom’s shirt, something you’re sure he would enjoy and avoid washing it for at least a couple days. Your body shook as everything went fuzzy, your head throwing back in pleasure causing your neck to crack but you didn’t care, too focused on the overstimulation of the fact your boyfriend's thrust had not slowed, in fact they had sped up. 

“Tom, can’t-I can’t, it's too much” you whimpered, your body feeling like an ember as Tom flipped your positions, your back meeting the cushions of the couch as he continued to thrust into you relentlessly. 

“You’re gonna take it baby,” he demanded, knowing that if you really needed it to stop you would say the safe word. “I’m close baby, but I’m gonna make you cum a third time before I fill you with my cum, like the little cum slut you are,” his voice was shaky, he was fighting against his orgasm, wanting to see you fall apart one more time before he came and ceased his movement. Your body hadn’t fully recovered from your last orgasm when you felt your third one building already. 

“Tommy, I’m-” you didn’t finish the sentence, a mixture of cold and warm pleasure beginning to burn in your cunt, overtaking the veins in your lips and spreading down your thighs to your feet, toes curling in response as the feeling moved up as well, igniting your breasts and your mouth falling slack, your whole body going tense and Tom kept thrusting into you, cumming deep inside of your cunt with loud shouts of your name, but you couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening. You came back when he pulled all the way out of you, grabbing his wet cock in his hand and jerking the rapidly softening flesh, letting the final spools of cum shoot from the slit in the tip and fall onto your sweaty cum covered frame. You watched as the white ropes landed on your skin, admiring how they looked till you couldn’t hold your head up anymore, letting it fall back into the cushions, eyes falling shut as your body went slack. Tom’s eyes widened as he saw this, worry rising in his body as you lacked motion, your breath too shallow and your sudden collapse leading him to think that something was seriously wrong. 

“Love?” he asked tentatively, praying that you responded. 

“Hmm?” you groaned, eyes fluttering open and meeting his worried orbs, highly contrasting to the pitch black shade of desire that they had been moments before. 

“Oh thank god, I thought I had fucked you to death, and though you brought it upon yourself that isn’t how I was hoping this saturday would end” his words making you giggle.

“I just needed that dick” you spoke as you tried to sit up, only to have Tom wrap his arms around you and pick you up, The cum that was on your torso rubbing against his shirt, now marking it with the both of your guys cum. 

“And you got it, now you need a bath” he kissed the top of you head softly as he lead you to the bathroom. 

Hope you liked it, let me know what you though

@thehumanistsdiary

[shivada-jade]

soulmates! (2)

soulmate!au BECAUSE IM WEAK. YOU'RE WEAK TOO.

characters: ganyu, kaeya, thoma ➡ mentions: cloud retainer, ningguang, adelinde, diluc, crepus, rosaria, traveler warning(s): like- just one swear

part one: (bennett, zhongli, diluc)

ganyu: can see footprints where soulmate has recently stepped on. if followed, they will be lead to their soulmate. sort of like "hot and cold" cold if you're far and hot if you're close

she knew she is a very busy person. she surprises herself when she asked ningguang for a day off.

"you want a day off?" she remembers ningguang's composed face deteriorate and herself doing the same thing.

ningguang let her rest for two weeks even if ganyu had only requested one. now she has so much free time.

the first thing she did was sleep, but she couldn't- not when she spots purple footprints.

as part adeptus with one heck of a good eyesight, she always assumes that the footprints on the ground are because of her eyesight, but cloud retainer says otherwise.

"child, you have a soulmate system of which," the old bird starts. "where one has the ability see where one's soulmate has been, and if they've been there recently."

blue footprints that fade away means her soulmate had left a long time ago. red-ish-orange footprints mean that her soulmate is very close by, but it's never been that colour in her eyes.

ganyu strolls along the grassy plains of liyue, admiring all the sweet flowers. she lightly touches her horns, a habit she got from being awoken from naps on a field of sweet flowers.

the footprints were purple, which is the closest to red ganyu had ever gotten. blue is the colour she always sees like her vision, her hair, the waters of liyue, and the glazed lilies.

the purple is also as beautiful.

"fate will bring two together at the right moment. thou need not rush." ganyu can hear cloud retainer say, so she didn't run after the footprints.

the half-adepti thrums her fingers on her leg, unsure what to do with all the free time given to her. she supposes she can head back to liyue and have tea with madame ping.

meeting madame ping confuses ganyu. the elderly woman keeps asking of her soulmate system and if she's met them.

"ganyu, have you met them?"

"ganyu, why not chase after them?"

"ganyu, ganyu ganyu-"

ganyu politely sets her teacup down, "i have yet to find them."

madame ping chuckles in her elderly woman way, like those smug elderly women who know more than others but will act clueless to amuse them.

"you know, i have a special gift, some speculate it as a curse, but i think it's wonderful," she said, pouring more tea for ganyu. "i have the ability to see red strings that connect soulmates. i can connect, i can break connections, but i can't see my own."

ganyu frowns slightly, "have you met yours?"

"no, but it makes me happy seeing the strings connect with people," she blows on her tea to make it cooler and turns her head to avoid looking at ganyu.

"madame ping, why-"

"you," a person behind ganyu seethes.

meekly, ganyu turns around and finds someone glaring at her. "may i help you?"

"ganyu, right? why do you always walk so fucking fast. i can never catch up to you when i see your footprints, and you're always going from place to place. one moment you're in liyue, the next your in somewhere like fontaine or something. it's like you're spiderman."

ganyu's jaw goes slack, "you're my soulmate?" she looks at the ground, seeing red footprints of where her soulmate had just walked. she now understand why madame ping kept asking her about her soulmate, because madame ping knew her soulmate was going to meet her.

ganyu clears her thoat, standing up to offer her soulmate a seat, "would you like to join us for tea?"

her soulmate blinks, and looks at the tea set then back to ganyu, "sorry, i didn't mean to intrude your tea party. i'm [name]."

"hello, i'm madame ping," the woman speaks "and your soulmate is ganyu. have tea."

ganyu stifles a laugh and sits on a chair next to her soulmate. "i apologize for walking too fast."

kaeya: he hears what his soulmate sings

at first kaeya thought he was going crazy when he kept hearing music in his head.

"dad!" he cried, forcingly rubbing away the tears that fell down his cheeks. the kids near the winery had come over and played with him and diluc, and that was when the first notes started. it never bothered him. he brushed it off until it became a full sound of a voice and a song.

not understanding scared kaeya to death. he always knew something, but this is the first where he doesn't know. he felt like he was going insane with this voice in his head, singing in his head; a voice that wasn't his.

"dad!" he called out again more desperately. diluc held him by his side, worried for his brother.

"father!" dliuc called this time, "father, kaeya's feeling sick."

diluc brought in kaeya, rubbing his back in attempt to comfort him. he saw adelinde and waved to her.

adelinde gasped when she spotted the blue-haired boy sobbing. she dropped her feather duster on the shelf she was dusting and dropped herself next to kaeya, inspecting of there were any wounds on his skin.

"kaeya, dear. what's the matter?" she quietly tells diluc to get his father in the wine cellar and gently pushed kaeya to take a seat near the fireplace.

diluc silently obeyed and ran, unlocking the door that led to his father.

kaeya hiccupped, unable to form words.

adelinde hushed him. her motherly fingers soothed his head, "what's wrong? breathe with me, dear. just until your father gets back."

she inhaled and exhaled in a steady manner for kaeya to follow. the boy shakily did the same. he did it a few more times, inhaling and exhaling slowly with adelinde. he calmed down. the crying stopped and his breathing was normal again. adelinde took this as another chance to ask him what's wrong.

"are you ready to tell me?"

kaeya blinked the tears off and gripped his clothes to stop himself from crying again. "it's happening again. i- i don't understand miss adelinde."

adelinde placed a hand over kaeya's for him to know she was listening. "what don't you understand?"

"i keep hearing things. i always hear a voice that isn't mine in my head-" kaeya sputtered.

diluc and crepus open the door from the cellar. crepus' face etched with worry when he spotted kaeya crying to adelinde. diluc had told him as much as he could but all the information he gathered was kaeya started covering his ears and crying.

"-all the voice does is sing and sing. i don't even like some of the songs it sings! i don't- i don't know," kaeya stammered, not noticing the two others that joined. "i don't know what happening to me. i'm scared."

crepus smiled at adelinde and nodded to her, signaling that he can handle it from here. adelinde gave a grateful nod and brushed herself off the floor to continue her duties.

"my boy," crepus smiles, kneeling in front kaeya to see him better. he brushed his face with a thumb and hugged him. crepus chuckled when kaeya hugged him tighter.

"my boy," the man continued with a knowing smile on his face. "that's your soulmate system. you can hear them singing if they sing as they can hear you singing when you sing."

kaeya lets go from crepus' hold and sniffled his tears away, "what? but isn't a soulmate system when things fall on you?"

diluc from the back of the room silently listened in, also confused as kaeya. didn't everyone have the same soulmate system?

crepus pats kaeya's shoulders, "we all have different ways to know who our soulmate is. yours and diluc's soul systems are different from everyone."

"master crepus is right." adelinde piped in while dusting off the dust on the shelves. "my soulmate system is a countdown to when i'll meet them."

kaeya looked at the woman shocked, "so not everyone has things falling on them?"

"correct." crepus raved, "but unlike diluc's soul system, instead of things falling on me, it appears on my hand for my soulmate system."

diluc eyes his brother, picking up a stray book on a chair and handed it to adelinde to help her.

kaeya pulled a cheeky grin and pointed to diluc, "diluc's eavesdropping."

the said boy gasped and turned his body around to make it look like he was doing something busy.

crepus bellows a laugh, "so what song is your soulmate singing?"

...

to be frank, kaeya had no idea what his soulmate sang that day. it was random words jumbled together. in fact, most things his soulmate sings are songs he has never heard before. it progressed from simple tunes, but now kaeya feels like his soulmate might be a song composer.

when he was younger he'd brag to diluc saying "my soulmate sings so well! what does your soulmate sound like, hah!"

to which diluc would respond with

he grins, swirling his wine around the glass as he watches a stack of papers hit diluc's face while bar tending on the first floor. kaeya clinks his glass on the table, watching people enter and leave the tavern from above.

today, his soulmate sings a song he's heard of.

'the wellerman,' and judging from the pauses and missing lyrics, kaeya safely assumes his soulmate was singing a duet with someone.

"soon may the wellerman come, to bring us sugar and tea and rum!"

kaeya hums the next few notes, never singing. after hearing his soulmate sing for the first time, his thought was to never sing- not when his soulmate could be a billionaire for singing with their voice.

only on occasions he would sing to let his soulmate know he was there.

he finishes the last sip of his wine and descends down the tavern stairs, raising a hand to acknowledge rosaria drinking in the corner. he airily chuckles, seeing diluc scrunch his eyes at the papers in front of him instead of looking at kaeya.

kaeya pushes the door open, humming along to the song his soulmate sings. he strolls by the alleyways, waving a hello to flora and a couple dogs that bark at his feet, scratching behind its ears.

he hears a bard singing at the plaza and saunters towards the music, climbing up the stairs and his frame almost freezes when seeing someone acting out to the song playing in his head.

good hunter's table tips over with a person on it. they land smoothly to the ground with a grin while singing with a resident bard.

"one day when the tonguing is done, we'll take our leave and go," they sing with so much melody and soul. the bard in green rumbles with cheer, raising his hands and dancing with the other with an arm latched around another.

kaeya watches, mesmerized by the singing and clapping around the plaza. he claps along and laughs when the bard drags his friend up to the walls of the fountain, singing louder.

the makes eye contact with the singer and waves. the singer waves back, unaware of what kaeya now knows.

soulmates.

he clued the pieces together and admired his soulmate from a distance, not wanting to disturb the performance.

"she'd not been two weeks from shore, when down on her a right whale bore!" the bard sings in glee.

kaeya quietly sings the next part, blending with the crowd. the whoops and cheers grow louder, chanting for his soulmate to sing the part kaeya sand under his breath, but to his surprise his soulmate tenses.

"WAIT! stop!" they hush the crowd with a hand and confuse everyone, "my soulmate's singing! but they're a bit too quiet. they never sing so shh, this is rare!"

the people murmur, watching kaeya's soulmate covering their ears to hear him clearer. kaeya grins, taking this opportunity to sing out loud.

"soon may the wellerman come to bring us sugar and tea and rum!" kaeya waltzes in front of the people who create a pathway for him.

his soulmate's eyes snap to him and he steps up next to them, standing on the fountain. the bard grins, and cheers. the crowd follows his cheer, watching their cavalry captain sing to his soulmate.

kaeya takes his soulmate's hand and presses a kiss on the back, "hello darling, i'm kaeya."

his soulmate doesn't hear him talking, no. they hear music when he speaks. though, kaeya's introduction threw them off, who's to say they couldn't return the gesture.

"a pleasure to meet you at last," they place a hand over their forehead for drama. they grin taking kaeya's waist closer to them and whisper in his ear, "you have a marvelous voice."

mondstadt had never seen kaeya at loss for words and a blush rising his face.

thoma: you taste the same things your soulmate tastes, no matter how strange- even when you're already eating something else

for most times, you were envious of your soulmate for eating the most lavishing food- food only one with money can get. you so desperately wanted to try the food they ate.

you didn't know what they ate, but only knew of the taste. sometimes it clashes with what you eat, like one time you ate an orange while your soulmate started toothbrushing. it wasn't very pleasant to say the least.

you were minding yourself, gathering food for your dinner until you taste something horrible.

wtf is my soulmate eating

it is a vile taste on your tongue, and no amount of water can wash the taste off. you try rinsing it, you tried eating something with a stronger taste, but no matter what, the thing your soulmate ate just stays there. it's disgusting.

you buy anything sour to un-taste what you tasted, and it still doesn't work. walking nearby a tea house, you see a man of blonde, clutching his stomach and laughing at a traveler from afar. call it fate, because it probably is, you know by the second he says his stomach hurts, he is your soulmate.

you point at him with a pointed glare, "what on earth did you EAT?!"

you take a bite of a sliced purple melon in your hand and the man in front of you widens his jade eyes, noting the food you're eating and the blooming taste on his tongue. the traveler next to him knits their brows, looking between you and their friend.

"thoma," the traveler calls. "who's this?"

thoma looks at you apologetically and sheepishly rubs the nape of his neck. "hey? i did it to win a contest... i couldn't let my pride down." he pauses, looking at you, "forgive me?"

you wanted to throw a punch on him, but you knew he had it worse with a bad aftertaste and a stomach ache.

you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. and place a mischievous grin, "take me on a date with food that's actually good, and then i'll think about forgiving you."

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[xianglingslesbian]

ewbts - my top moments

no i will never stop laughing at that abbreviation it’s beautiful. buckle in because this is gonna be long, and probably don’t read it unless you’ve watched/read kuroko’s basketball and like izuki lmaoooo

chapter 1: hatchling, awaken

Izuki swallows. “Why do you all think I can do this?”

Then Kiyoshi turns to him with steel in his eyes (that must be how he got nicknamed Iron Heart - he seriously never backs down!) and asks him very clearly, “Why don’t you?”

Why don’t I think I can be captain?

“Because nobody thought I could be until now.”

aka “ceru is a masochist”, exhibit 1/???. anyway lets hear it for insecurities!!

chapter 2: liftoff

Predictably, Kuroko drags him aside at practice the next day and says, “I have something to tell you, Izuki-senpai.”

Izuki smiles at him. “Is it about your five evil exes?”

Kuroko looks horrified. “My what?!”

i think im funny

chapter 3: crash landing

As Izuki walks off the court, he looks for flashing glasses and grey eyes.

He curses himself for the heavy sadness that falls over him like a blanket when he doesn’t spot them.

yay for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 2!

Oh, he [Izuki] watched videos of Aomine, came up with strategy after strategy to corner him, but videos and strategies can only go so far. Aomine in real life is something else entirely, a flash of lightning setting the court on fire with the sheer elegance of his crazy street basketball. All one can do is sit back and watch, awed beyond belief. Nothing can curb the wild madness that is Aomine Daiki �� unrestrained, gleeful insanity dancing across the court like it’s his playground.

i also rlly like this line, it has some pretty imagery and we all know im a slut for pretty imagery~

chapter 4: a broken bone grows back stronger

“All right,” Koganei says to himself, moving to stand in front of the hoop. “One more time.”

He jumps, raising the ball to just above his face and releasing it. It misses, and he lets out a cry of frustration.

Can he even do this? Is it worth the time?

Koganei bites back the wave of guilt that washes over him at the thought. Izuki, Kiyoshi, Tsuchida, Rinnosuke, Kagami, Kuroko – he’d be letting them down if he didn’t give this his best shot. They’re all so dedicated to basketball that they each have a special skill honed from years of practice and love for the sport. If he can’t bring anything of his own to the table, what will he mean to this team? Seirin makes him want to be a team player, to add his skills to theirs rather than shining on his own. The change is good, yes, but he doesn’t want to stop there – he doesn’t want to be useless.

He will not be useless.

a bit of context: in this fic, since hyuuga did not return, koga became the SG for seirin :D i think my favorite character to develop, apart from izuki, was koganei - it was so fun to imagine all the ways he could have gone!

chapter 5: spreading new wings

All too soon, the day of judgment arrives, and Seirin convenes in the gym one last time before they head off to the Winter Cup building. No one says anything; not Kagami, fresh from his training trip to America, not Izuki, not Kiyoshi or Riko. They simply stand there, breathing in the scent of cleaner and leather and something else that’s so entirely Seirin, and knowing that no matter what happens this Winter Cup, they will return to the gym different people than they were before.

Different, and better.

Then they head out and off to the opening ceremony of the Winter Cup, not looking back once as they do.

yay for more pretty words!!!

“Oh, no worries. The actual motivational part is coming. Anyway, as I was saying – Tōō was just better than us that day. It’s hard to admit, I know: far easier to blame yourself, say you didn’t give it your all, but you know; we all know. It was their day to shine, not ours. But I think we’ve worked hard enough and are in a good enough mindset to change that, today. We aren’t scared or apprehensive about Tōō and Aomine, because we’ve faced them before. We know what attitude they’ll walk into our game with, and that’s what we’re going to exploit!”

“You’re going to exploit,” corrects Tsuchida. “Unlike you, the rest of us aren’t manipulative bastards.”

That raises a bunch of cackles, which quiet down when Izuki gives his team a glare. It doesn’t work on Riko, however, who sniggers under her breath and smirks at him.

izuki highkey sucks at pep talks lmao

chapter 6: ride the storm

Kagami and Aomine were made for each other. Made for this rivalry, this intense competition that will push them to their very limits and carry them onto a plane that no ordinary human can reach. Neither can defeat the other per se - they’re destined to stand neck and neck forever. However, one has a trump card on his side; and that trump card can make all the difference in the world.

Aomine Daiki may be strong, but Kagami Taiga is just as good. And damn him if the power of Kagami’s determination coupled with Kuroko’s unshakeable support won’t overwhelm the undisputed king of basketball.

Move aside, light bulb, Izuki thinks vindictively. The tube light is here to replace you.

pretty words. gay words. i love them (aokaga + izuki being a salt man lmao).

chapter 7: eagle versus aegis

“So bitter,” he [Izuki] reflects aloud, answering Himuro’s question.

That’s the emotion in his eyes. That’s what I might have become, if I had let my anger grow.

And suddenly he isn’t seeing Himuro Tatsuya anymore, but a version of himself, a version with darkened eyes and a mocking smile and pain and rage bubbling below the surface. Immensely talented, but not able to break the last barrier. Because he’s an ordinary man, and it’s as much as an ordinary man can do.

Strong, so strong. But also so terribly, heartbreakingly weak. Weak in a way that today’s Izuki Shun will never be.

GOD where do i even start w/this scene its literally everything i’ve ever wanted to write ksjfhsfj

chapter 8: clawing through mirages

Izuki’s taken aback for a millisecond before he continues his mad dash towards Murasakibara, letting out a war cry as the center makes to simply toss the ball into the hoop.

“It wasn’t their intention,” says a quiet but familiar voice. “But, this is the result of Kiyoshi-senpai and the other upperclassmen’s tenacity.”

Izuki grins, feeling new strength fill him up.

Together, huh? Okay. Together.

“This is where it ends for you!” shouts the voice, becoming stronger.

Not one, but two hands knock the ball out of Murasakibara’s hands and onto the ground. Kuroko shimmers into vision, smiling at Izuki with all the happiness in the world, just as the final buzzer rings.

i loved writing this match tbh, yousen is super underrated!

chapter 9: catch the updraft

21 - 22, in their favour at long last. Izuki grins at Kasamatsu, who shakes his head wearily.

“Using my own advice against me. What a terrible student you are,” he says, affecting an old man’s voice.

“The true student is the one who beats the master at his own game,” Izuki says quickly, sliding back into their familiar banter. “I swore to myself, my drive would beat your drive today, kitakore.”

“When did you get so wise?” asks Kasamatsu with a sigh, ignoring his pun and receiving the ball from Kobori, who was quick to grab it once Koga scored. Izuki just laughs, not bothering to reply and instead focusing carefully on Kasamatsu’s movements.

Kasamatsu shifts his weight right, left, then right again. Izuki narrows his eyes, trying to figure out what the hell his upperclassman is doing—

But it’s far too late, as Kasamatsu successfully passes through his defence in his moment of distraction, ball clutched tightly in hand. The sound of the scoring whistle is shrill and unpleasant to Izuki’s ears, and his chest stings at the loss.

“What was that about the main course?” Kasamatsu teases, wearing an enormous grin as he comes forward to guard Izuki once more. 

izuki + kasamatsu banter is so so fun to write y’all have no idea

chapter 10: headwinds

This is your fault. If you’d been a better captain, a better point guard, a better everything, none of this would’ve happened. Seirin would have been well in the lead and controlling the game—

Izuki shakes his head violently, trying to get rid of his intrusive thoughts. He knows he’s a good captain, and doing this to himself will do no good for the rest of the team. He has to be strong for them. He has to lead them to victory, he can’t be a weak person overwhelmed by emotion. But it’s so hard to breathe, suddenly, and Izuki’s about to sink when—

“Don’t worry, Captain. I’ll take care of this match today,” says a confident and familiar voice, and a hand claps down on Izuki’s shoulder. He turns, a little surprised by the sudden contact, to find Koganei’s cat mouth set in a determined frown. “You can rest your hopes on me. I’ll be Seirin’s wings for as long as you need me to.”

kogazuki brotp feels man. kogazuki brotp feels.

chapter 11: cliff edge

Riko nods, sobering up a little. “I do know. And… I have to admit, I was a little harsh on you in the early days… I kept comparing you to Hyūga-kun.” She looks at the ground briefly, then raises her head to continue, meeting Izuki’s eyes with no hint of doubt in her own brown irises. “But then I saw how different you were. How you were never willing to give up, even if you were the worst player in the world. That’s what… that’s what made me truly believe in you.” She swallows thickly, taking a deep breath, but not averting her gaze from his.

The honesty and trust in her eyes is what shatters Izuki’s calm.

He steps forward, and she rises too, opening her arms. Then he hugs her tightly, murmuring, “Thank you for having faith in me.”

The “Of course. You’re family,” that she whispers back fills Izuki’s already overflowing heart even further.

Eventually, he lets her go, and she drops lightly to the ground, straightening her sweater and skirt.

“We never speak of this,” Izuki warns her, moving towards the door of the room.

Riko nods, back to her usual haughty demeanour. “Of course. No one can know we’re actually big softies who care a lot for each other.”

“To them, we’re just sarcastic jerks,” Izuki agrees. “And that’s the way it stays.”

anyone said izuriko brotp???? this fic is just platonic feels tbh

chapter 12: overcast skies

What should I do? Someone tell me! the voice cries out in Izuki’s head, a voice he hasn’t heard since the loss to Tōō. It is the same voice that whispers all his insecurities in his ear in the dead of night when no one is around to reassure him, the same voice that gave rise to all his fears and worries. It is the voice of the vulnerable and weak part of Izuki, the one that needs someone to guide him with a gentle hand, and he hates it.

It is a voice that, frankly, he never thought he would hear again. Yet, here it is, crying out for attention, screaming for someone to help.

He thought he had left it behind. It turns out he was wrong.

Izuki shoves it deep into his heart with more effort than he’s exerted all game, breathing a heavy sigh when he succeeds in locking it behind the glass wall that keeps his emotions away.

let’s hear it for “ceru is a masochist” exhibit 3~

chapter 13: nosedive

“I don’t know who you are,” Koganei completes his little speech, anger brimming in every part of his being. “But I know that my captain is Izuki Shun, not Akashi Seijūrō. The coach can bench you if she likes; we can fight without our captain, because we know he wants us to win for his sake. We’ve been fighting without him all the match, and we can continue doing so. We don’t need a player that can’t play with the same passion as us!”

Izuki looks at the ground and doesn’t respond. Somewhere within, something is stirring at Koganei’s words. Something that cries out to fill the gap inside him.

Next to speak is Kiyoshi, standing up and executing much the same move as Koga had by yanking Izuki up by his collar. However, Kiyoshi pulls Izuki into a standing position so that Izuki is half-leaning against him.

Brown eyes meet black, and Kiyoshi simply states, “I didn’t expect this from you, Shun.”

Then he rears his fist backwards and punches Izuki in the jaw.

“ceru is a masochist” exhibit 4!

chapter 14: bird of prey

“I just… I didn’t think you’d give up so easily.”

Koganei’s head shoots up. There’s fury in his eyes, and his face is white. His hands are shaking.

Izuki continues, calm and careless as he always is, “Really… after you gave me all that talk at halftime? I don’t believe this is you.”

Koganei’s jaw clenches, and he cries, “But I have done everything I can! He’s just too good—”

“And when has that ever stopped you?” Izuki keeps his voice quiet and even, but it has the gravity he intended it to - Koga falls silent immediately, eyes wide and riveted on him. “When have you ever backed down from fighting? You don’t know the meaning of giving up. You’ve never cared about whether someone’s better than you. I knew a shooting guard once, just like you, and he had the potential to be the greatest in the world. He was held back because he cared that he was worse than others. But you? You never blinked at it, just practised and practised until you could do the impossible.”

His words are getting louder with pride; he’s unable to keep it steady with the outpouring of emotion in his speech.

“Tell me, who can master Ray Allen’s form in one and a half years? Who can be such a rookie at basketball, yet be able to fight an Uncrowned King and respond to a shot that has left all its previous victims unable to move?!” Izuki leans forward and jabs a finger into Koganei’s chest demandingly. “Tell me, who the hell was that?!”

“Me,” Koga whispers timidly, looking down.

ahhhh yay for more platonic comfort and bonding. *izuki voice* yelling is the way to get ur team to get their shit tgt

chapter 15: born to soar

Izuki finds himself moving, barely thinking as he grabs the ball and bawls for an attack. He’s running faster than he ever has, flying up the court like there are wings on his legs. No one follows at his pace - they’re all too far behind.

No one but Kiyoshi.

The rhythm beats louder than ever, a heavy pulse in Izuki’s head and heart. He can feel Akashi on his heels and knows he needs to do something.

One second left—

Izuki’s hands move on their own, passing the ball to the one person he knows that he will always find.

Kiyoshi catches it and jumps.

Fortyfivethirtyfivetwentyfivefifteen—

The ball leaves his hands.

Fivezero—

The whistle blows to end the game. Kiyoshi’s shot hits the backboard and drops straight into the basket. Time stops as a shrill sound screeches into the air and the ref shouts, “124 to 123, Seirin High wins the Winter Cup!”

there we go. the most heartwrenching scene of this chapter ahhhhh

chapter 16: final flight

“We should go. Don’t want to keep them waiting too long,” Kiyoshi says, staring daggers at Hyūga, who to his credit doesn’t flinch but merely stares back.

“Let’s go, then,” Izuki agrees. He looks straight at Hyūga and allows a small, formal smile to play on his lips. Hyūga just nods, accepting the answer.

Izuki nods back, then turns around and starts walking away. But even as he moves toward the exit, something weighs heavily in his tired chest. For the first time in a long time, he isn’t confident in his decision.

Acting on impulse, he turns on his heel and yells out, “Call sometime, maybe!” before walking backwards out the door that Kiyoshi holds for him.

It’s an open-ended suggestion. Hyūga can choose to wallow and ignore it, or he can choose to pick up the phone. Izuki isn’t going to do so either way - he’ll be happy if Hyūga makes that call, but he won’t be terribly sad if he doesn't.

This time, he’s going to be the one that walks forward without looking back.

ahhh okay so this scene means a hella lot to me personally because... i had to grow, the way izuki grew. izuki’s now strong enough to sort of put the olive branch out and say, “take it or leave it,” and if it’s left he’s not gonna be upset. that’s something i really learned with a lot of difficulty and i think that that growth - in both me and him - is a lovely thing.

and there we have it! my favorite moments from each chapter of this story. *cries in a corner* god i can’t believe it’s over...

THANK YOU FOR THE JOURNEY!

[irkenheretic]

okay i promised id do it and im doing it: Explaining The Plot Of That AU I’m Vague About: The Post

(as i was preparing to write this i actually got my 250th follower, which slapped)

so i’m just gonna start with the simple version, which is this: it’s a rebel AU which primarily centers around the tallest, who are both defective. they give up on trying to make any meaningful changes as figureheads, and instead direct their attention to being involved with the “neo defect revolution,” or NDR. they do manage to make one change as tallest- there is a garbage dump planet turned into a sanctuary for defectives (who in this au are executed once discovered,) and eventually enough of the populace finds out about it that the tallest have to deal with it. they finesse their way into kicking it out of the empire, so now it’s its own planet with its own rules, governments, and most importantly, immigration policies and protections

a lot of stuff happens and it’s gonna be structured using arcs, and each arc has a separate protagonist/deuteragonist/tritagonist lineup (but that doesnt mean the same lineup won’t be used multiple times!) and yes the insane list of OCs are for this au alone: some arcs are very OC-centric, some have OCs as supporting characters, and a couple are all-OC or mostly-OC. 

its going to be very longform and it’ll span from the tallest’s elite training days to twenty years after zim arrives on earth. (the 20 year gap btwn zim arriving on earth and the story proper isnt as tightly plotted as later tho.) the point is to see how a revolution on the scale of the NDR works, who was fucked over by defact laws, who was fucked over by other laws, etc. theres a lot of lore and a lot of headcanons i made for this AU and even a conlang. i am a being of hubris. itll be a series of fics, some multichapter and some oneshots. 

the series as a whole is gonna be called Invader Zim: Annexed or just Annexed for short. its a pun on an irken word that sounds similar but means the exact opposite. i am not explaining more bc itll be explained in the fic itself. but thats why the tag for it is #anx lmao

i didnt mean for this to be as long as it got but under the cut im gonna breakdown some of the early arcs:

so it all starts with a fanfic called Love Is The H-Word (no the “h-word” isn’t “hell.) it centers around red and purple as elites-in-training, who do a little whoopsie and have an egg. purple doesnt wanna smuggle it into a smeetery, bc then he’ll never see it again, so they go to the defect sanctuary (still a part of the empire at this point.) purple knows he’s defective while red has a hard time accepting that he is as well, due to events from his past. but being around all these other defects are starting to wear down his denial, and the fic is all about that. it also sets up some plot stuff, like how defects adopted a self-identifier in the word “heretic,” hence the sanctuary being named, “heretirk.” (hey look my url!) (no, the “h-word” is not heretic, either.) 

i dont wanna say what happens in that fic bc spoilers, but stuff Happens. its also when we meet some ocs that end up being important, and the existence of others are foreshadowed. this is also where we meet the tallests’ future advisor, rarl kove, for the first time, as a local who decides to keep them company. purple bonds with kove due to their shared interest in politics, while red reluctantly bonds with titch, a young irken (a smeet in heretirken standards, an adult in imperial standards- did i mention he and red are roughly the same age? lol) who is interested in military stuff and thrill-seeking and general destruction. titch is pissed because he claims his father is stealthing on devastis as a military commander, but won’t let titch sneak in as a soldier, as titch is deaf. 

(fun facts: in the au, “titch” is regional slang for “a little bit.” ironically, titch the character is above-average in height.)

due to titch’s deafness, he developed “gesturespeak,” irken sign language, so he can communicate. this existing becomes important later

a oneshot called invade the system is right after h-word in publishing order. it details zim’s exploits in leaving foodcourtia, where he was assigned and infiltrating the invading academy he eventually graduates from (in this au, zim is too short to be an invader, which sucks because the hight minimums for the military are really short to begin with lmao)

the fic chronoligically after H-Word focuses on red and purple being back in their platoon on devastis, specifically red navigating his training and his relationships with two defective platoonmates, pon and zi (who are in h-word a little,) after the realization that he too is defective. it also focuses on how the irken military works, and how they train their soldiers. 

the first arc overall focuses on red and purple going thru training and such, and ends after they graduate and are on the field, working to get commander rank. (they planned to gain commander rank then leave and go back to heretirk to train an army there, as heretirk has.... no army.) in the middle of this, they’re pulled out and told they are to become the next tallest. they debate over staying and taking the job or just running to heretirk, and they ultimately decide to stay.

the next arc i call the “bridge,” tbh. its less tightly plotted than the other arcs; fics are spread apart from each other chronologically and all that. it spans the time after the tallest being appointed to a little after zim arrives on earth. it also has a couple of anthologies focusing on imperial defects- each chapter is a new character. these guys are all important and the easiest way for me to introduce their backstories without cluttering everything up is anthology style, lmao. other things that happen are a look into how the tallest work, eventually culminating with the resolution of the tallest having to Deal With Heretirk, tenn’s rescue from meekrob, and zim on earth obtaining a half-irken smeet named pip due to stealing an Unethical Science Experiment from dib (which is pip.) the bridge is basically just. “heres some stuff that happens between point A and point B so when we get to point B you’re not confused as all hell.” 

the next arc focuses on zim. in the first fic, pip is sick and zim is trying to get into his neighbor’s pants, to cope. this basically sets up that zim in this au has no idea how to find personal fulfillment in living- he’s only OK if he focuses on pleasing someone else, be it taking care of pip or doting on the neighbor, some rando human named piqu (pronounced, “peek.”) this is mainly a cute romance story with the underlying veneer of “a child is slowly and painfully dying” in the background. fun! 

without spoiling the circumstances, zim and pip end up on heretirk, which at this point is its own independent planet. pip is in the hospital for most of it so zim has to do his own thing. computer fans rejoice bc hes basically zims dad at this point, who tells him to go outside and get some fresh air and talk to the locals instead of schmooping or screaming in anxiety. im sneakily introducing more characters like ini, the “next-gen zim;” a short bio-engineer (she works on PAKs) who was constantly passed over by everyone because they dont trust someone that short or they dont trust someone that spazzy, even though shes actually brilliant. also her brother mo, who’s a pilot that NOBODY will teach military-class ships to (at this point, HTK has a population of ex-military that had their old ships, but still no formal army) because he doesnt talk and they think hes “slow” as a result. for the curious, he is physically able to talk most times, he just doesnt like it. zim ends up teaching him how to fly military-class which ends up being important laterrr

(haha ini and mo. wheres meenie and minie? ILL GET TO THEM)

no really, theyre quadruplets. named ini, myni, minie, and mo. these are real characters. 

minie isnt introduced till later. shes too cool to be the side character in someone elses arc. she is feel uncomfortable when we are not about her.

myni is busy palling around with pip and pip’s friend “elly” (real name elevenn, with two N’s.) elly is a half-meekrob War Crime Baby and tenn’s smeet. he has vision problems (he can “see” energy signatures of things, as opposed to conventional sight. everything is monochrome and he has to really focus to see like, words on a paper. also fuck tablets) but the trade-up is telekinetic powers (that he cant use too much or his brain will melt. fun!) this isnt relevant until the arc AFTER zim’s, where they end up poking around a historical site due to myni’s interest in that kind of thing, and they find logs of an old revolution (that was actually pretty successful in their goal, before they were caught and executed,) that lead them to a man named lefy. he helps with revolutions and helped these guys, and the trio go to seek him out; myni because he wants to impress his parents with helping them, pip because after they’ve recovered enough to walk around and do stuff, feel like they need to justify the choice to save their life and make their dad proud and all that, elly because he doesnt want pip to get hurt and die. And thats where the stuff REALLY starts happening and i cant tell u more sorry

this seemed kind of disjointed but thats bc i cant really be too detailed otherwise id like.... spoil it lmfao. but thats the summary of the first few arcs.

[toxicsamruby]

sam stan ask game, ty @azazelapologist and @jcthro for tagging me

Sibling status (younger, middle, older, only child…) - oldest! w terminal eldest daughter syndrome

How long have you been stanning for - i started watching supernatural like. a couple months ago? october i think? idk def after the school year started

Favorite Sam era -  his hotgirl summer while dean was dead <3

Favorite spn season, but if the only criteria was Sam’s hair -  s1. also my fav by any other standard LMAO

Favorite Sam-centric episode -  nightmare slapped

Any ships you may like to mention - SAMRUBY SUPREMACY

Favorite song you would/have put in a Sam playlist -  cigar by tamino...yeah

If you could steal one thing from Sam’s wardrobe, it would be -  idk. i dress better than sam. maybe one of his big jackets

Complete the sentence: If Sam cishet, then WHY  flirting w jake in all hell breaks loose. i dont take criticism

Favorite unhinged Sam moment -  idk if this is unhinged but in i know what you did last summer he was hustling pool but he got distracted halfway thru bc he saw ruby in the corner of the room and just left all him and dean’s money on the pool table and went to go talk to her. he was so completely addicted to demon pussy he gave away SEVEN HUNDRED dollars for NO reason. girl HELLO?

You must have some intense headcanons you need to talk about, tell me one Sam hc that drives you insane -  he is half palestinian <3

Tell me something about the hbo Sam that lives in your brain -  is hbo sam just Dark Edgy sam? i dont have any of that but i do think that he’s chronically (on purpose) sleep deprived. he hates having visions in his sleep and he tends to take a lot of shitty energy drinks and sometimes adderall to avoid sleeping more than a few hours a night

Oh no, the writers forgot to give Jess a personality! Now it’s up to you. Tell me, what was Jess like -  big misogyny moment but i dont really care abt jess she’s narratively a representative of the american dream that sam loses and im ok w that i care more abt the female characters who were fleshed out and then killed off

Biggest injustice Supernatural commited against Sam (be as brief or as ranty as you desire) -  continuing to run past s3 lol

And finally, just say something about him that makes you smile ♥  when he’s being an annoying shitty little brother

@powerssam n anybody else who wants to play

[calm-and-wine]

okay im going to freak out about niall and Lucy so get ready. PARENTS OMG I knew it was coming but I certainly wasn't ready. it was so sweet that she waited to take the test till he was there. and the fact that the thought before she told him she could be preggers was about how he has a soft smile just for her. im melting over here.on the floor. freaking out. and then him calling her bump pet names like little Bub im not okay. nulu is the sweetest thing ever. and then him knowing the perfect (1)

birthday party to throw her. they are just so soft and sweet and get each other so well. all the little acts like niall knowing he was gunna make her a big thermos of tea before Wimbledon, and Lucy telling him how good of a dad hes gunna be cause she knows hes nervous even tho hes so excited. and him taking a break from touring with out her even asking. just knowing he wants to be home for every second. and encouraging her with the training center. and Lucys first 1d concert seeing niall in (2)

his element knowing that he spent so much time supporting her Lucys transition from playing sports to retiring was so interesting. and I loved that you made her pregnancy realistic instead of super happy go lucky because growing another human is insane and must be so hard! and the difficulties of her pregnancy just highlights the love in their relationship even more. and the fact that you acknowledge other characters and people in their lives. it isnt tunnel vision, there is context but (3)

I still feel like im in niall and Lucys world and Im just in love with this story and your writing and attention to detail. The details about them moving, and I just feel like every conflict they come to the rise above together and its so sweet and I love you and your characters very very much. thank you for writing, and thank you for writing in English so I can understand this beautiful story. You deserve so much love. and im so happy you've shared niall and Lucy with us. ❤️❤️❤️(4)

ahhh i love you anon!!! i think they will forever be the softest, cutest couple for me. i love all those moments you mention and i’m so so glad you enjoyed it and popped in to chat! i struggled quite a bit with this chapter, not gonna lie. so to hear all those lovely words really mean a lot.

when i came up with the birthday party idea, my first thought was “okay, but who’s gonna be there? there are like 3 other people i mentioned” lol. i think the lack of background characters (supporting characters? not sure what i should call them) is because of the fact that it started as just a oneshot, so i really wanted to focus on those two and their relationship. but honestly, i think it worked out well, because it is nulu’s story and sure, they have many people in their lives, but i think with all the travel and time jumps, it’s a bit hard to keep those other characters super involved in the story and also i think it would cause a bit of an unnecessary clutter. it’s just that kind of story for me that is better focused on the main characters.

THANK YOU for reading and for commenting. you really do make me smile so big. and i’m so glad you fell in love with niall and lucy, just like i did. see you soon for the last part (hopefully)! ❤❤

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO casually drops 200k wc avg…classic Mira but ooooh yes I’ve def seen some stuff floating on your page about it from the occasional asks! It’d be really funny if the bllk one followed your typical wc projection inaccuracy although reaching orv levels is probably a stretch HAHA

MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH ummm I’ve let myself get too comfy in the crack/stupid loserverse ummm hahahaha ummm wait WHAT??? I did not that fact you really said “let me put my two faves against each ofher” it would go hard tho….

LMAOOO OOPS ok well either way it’s still funny I love the miraverse…..miraverse chigiri >>>>> circling back to the drunk Kira moment it’d be funny if reader was like “huh….when did you shrink….” LMAOOOO

No because niko gives such sidekick vibes it’s so funny but SHSKSJSJ I will shut up about oaeu for the time being to help you resist temptation it’s time for you to do some doom scrolling on tiktok /j

FR SHSHAJA they’re all just ganging up on him and he’s also a first year right??? Damn theyre fr bullying a child IM CRYING THE VISUAL OF KARASU BEING TALKED DOWN stop im imagining that alpha wolf meme I can’t

I’m laughing so hard that was fr my first thought like “they really gave him the extra eye sparkles” ONE MORE GOAL GUYS please I need the match to go faster only because seeing it chapter by chapter with no goal is lowk agonizing (it’s fine all together I’m just impatient when flipping through the panels) PLEASSEEE BARCHA MANSHINE SNEAK PEEK IM BEGGING someone give otoya a little spotlight too kaneshiro please I know you’re reading this

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO it’s so insane because 200k is so long for most people but for me it’s like okay regular that’s calm 😭 and yeahhh for a while my tumblr was solely asks about ship in the harbor tbf it was/is a very interesting story in my humble opinion…that y/n was hollyhock y/n before hollyhock y/n and she was also 10x more interesting somehow?? which is saying a LOT 😰 PLSSS nah imagine the bllk fic ends up at 500k that would be insane i’d have to have crazy plotting skills for it to get that long (or an idea i’m really inspired for 🙂‍↕️)

EEK i always forget that people who joined me in my bllk era don’t know i am FAMOUS for angst!! i neverrrr used to end my stories happy in almost all of them either reader or the love interest died it was literally to the point that pomegranate ink was considered me being kind to my readers since both yuta and mc lived 😭😭😭 nah because it was honestly a really fascinating concept wherein hak was soowon’s guard and shinah was a legend from reader’s province who comes to protect her in the palace after an assassination attempt and when hak kills shinah it’s not because he wants to but because he has to DJFNSJSKSNSN omg it’s a very insane story idk if the bllk fandom could handle it honestly especially if it’s rin killing nagi…like what would they even do

MIRAVERSE ON TOP FR omg miraverse chigiri is such a king i have this vision of may and reo being that really annoying couple that posts cute tik toks and do adorable trends together but then immediately after they post reader and chigiri stich the video recreating it while laughing and making it goofy because they’re menaces 😩 and PLSSS “nagi did the changes in elevation compress you a bit?? your hair is less voluminous too…”

NIKO IS LITERALLY JUST THERE TO RELAX and erm it may be a tad bit late…

I HAVEN’T STARTED WRITING YET JUST FORMATTING BUT SEEING IT SITTING ALONGSIDE THE REST OF MY WORK IS TORTUROUS 😭 i have to resist temptation though…i have to…

NOOO POOR KIYORA IS A BABY he should be hanging out w hiori bruh free him ‼️ SEISHIRO NAGI SAVE KIYORA ASAP 😭 omg no literally the alpha wolf meme is exactly the vibe i was going for FJSKFJSJ it’s canon dw i’m just going to manifest in there

HAHA we are on the same page idk what that was all abt…anyways agreed i think pxg will be one of the most hype games to read all at once but chapter but chapter is exhausting 😭 OTOYA SPOTLIGHT he literally scored a goal OFF SCREEN??? wtf 😓 and ofc yk i need my man to get his screentime back please it’s been too long since we last saw nagi in the main manga and he’s so hot in the manshine jersey can we get him back kaneshiro please i’m begging on my knees for a return…a mention…even a single panel…😩🙏🏻

[jbuffyangel]

Other than an Olicity baby and Maya being their daughter in FF, what would you like to see for Olicity in 7b and for them individually? Fingers crossed for a baby and Smoak Tech! It would be great to see Oliver being more honest and open with Felicity, including the deal with the Monitor, but you sound skeptical on that point. Do you think the "what is love without respect and trust?" discussion in the xo was to excuse this behavior or set it up for a change in the future? Tx!

It’s a good question Nonnie, but I have to be honest - I don’t really watch Arrow with a lot of expectations or a laundry list of things I want to see. Honestly, I feel like that’s setting myself up for disappointment if the list doesn’t get checked off ya know? I like to cook up theories about what’s going to happen based of what Arrow has shown us, but I don’t really come up many storylines on my own. I genuinely enjoy just receiving the Arrow writers’ vision and responding to it that way. It’s more of a passive approach I guess.

Sure! I would love a baby and I’ll be thrilled if we get one, but if we don’t that’s okay. William has really fulfilled the child storyline for me in a lot of ways, so I’m already pretty happy. 

As far as Smoak Tech, my investment in that particular storyline has waned over the years. I know this probably makes me a traitor to my people, but I’d rather just see it up and running. I think the writers explored the creation of it a little bit in Season 5, but it felt kind of stagnant once they came up with a name and something to sell. I’m not really interested in seeing Felicity pitch to investors. I also don’t like that they involved Curtis so it’d be nice to see him disentangled. 

Honestly, the Smoak Tech appearance in the flash forward made me really happy. I know Felicity creates her empire, it’s HER empire, and that’s mostly what I wanted. Hopefully, we get to see that empire flourish but at the end of the day the real meat and potatoes of this show is Team Arrow. I’m always more invested in Felicity being a focus there because it will always be the A storyline. If they can build Smoak Tech and fold it into Team Arrow similar to how Queen Consolidated and Palmer Tech were in Season 1-3, I’ll be thrilled. But again, if it doesn’t happen I doubt I’ll be changing the channel.

Am I expecting Oliver to tell Felicity about the deal he made with the Monitor right away? Eh. Not really. Every time I think Oliver is going be honest with Felicity he isn’t, so I’m going at this another way. Reverse psychology time! 

I don’t think the “What’s love without respect and trust?” line was intended to excuse any behavior or future lies, but on the flip side I have to be realistic about the world Oliver and Felicity live in. Being a hero requires sacrifice and that’s who Oliver Queen is. This means Oliver will constantly be sacrificing his happy life with Felicity. This is the life they both chose, which is exactly what Felicity explained to William in 6x11.

There is no world where Felicity would be okay with Oliver going to jail for life. There is no world where Felicity would sign off on Oliver giving up his life for Barry and Kara (if that’s what he agreed to do). Ultimately, I think the realization Oliver and Felicity came to at the end of this prison arc was they will make sacrifices because they are heroes, but they won’t judge each other for it. Nor will they judge the choices they each make as a result of those sacrifices. 

Let me put it another way - Oliver is going to do what he has to do and Felicity is going to do what she has to do. That’s what they signed up for. They will never belong only to each other as long as they are fighting for Star City and the world. There will always be some crisis that comes before their marriage and happiness. I think Oliver and Felicity have decided instead of arguing and resenting each other for the sacrifices they make they will simply love each other unconditionally through it.

I don’t blame Oliver for not picking up the cell phone and calling the wife while he negotiated in space with an all powerful Whathaveyou to make sure she was cool with him trading his life for the lives of Barry, Kara and the entire world. Sometimes Oliver just has to make the call and this was one of those times. What’s done is done. It wasn’t about disrespecting Felicity or not trusting her. It was about making a choice no regular person would make. That’s why Oliver is a hero. And nobody knows that better than his wife. 

That’s not a free pass for Oliver to lie or make decisions without Felicity. I think he should tell her about the deal he made with the Monitor, I’m just not expecting it on my time table, but rather Oliver’s. If he tells her later rather than sooner I’ll disagree with his choice. But I’ll just add it to the laundry list of decisions Oliver has made over the course of this show that I’ve disagreed with. 

Is it a lack of character growth? Is Oliver constantly making the same mistakes over and over again? Sure. That’s absolutely a fair lens to view it through. But we are moving along a spectrum here. Oliver’s lies are for increasingly selfless reasons, so that’s some progress I guess.

“Selfless reasons? Are you nuts Jen?” Probably, but a real big piece of this for me is intent. Oliver’s intent is always intensely and innately good. It’s very hard for me to stay angry with the guy who is willing to sacrifice his freedom to secure his teammates’ and wife’s freedom. It’s very hard for me not to forgive Oliver for hesitating to tell his wife he offered his life in exchange for Barry and Kara’s (if that’s what he did) because he offered his life in exchange!  Here’s the kicker - when Oliver is making these types of decisions he’s doing all the things that made Felicity fall in love with him in the first place.

There is an exceptionally great scene in Grey’s Anatomy that explains what I’m talking about. Meredith has done something awful, but her intent was good. Still the consequences of her decision are pretty disastrous for Derek. I really encourage you to watch the scene because it drills to the marrow of what it means to be married. But my favorite exchange is always this:

Derek: I know you took her to protect her. I know you altered the trial for Adele and for Richard. You stood in front of a bullet for me. I know why you do all of it. It’s what I love about you.

Meredith: And what you hate about me.

Derek: Yeah.

Felicity has made many similar speeches about Oliver.

Oliver and Felicity loving each other even when they hate each other is the reality of the commitment they’ve made. The things we love most in our partners can also become the things we hate most. But marriage is also a lot about acceptance. Oliver and Felicity bring out the best in each other, they challenge each other to be better, but they also accept one another. There are simply aspects of Oliver Queen that are never going to change. He will always be the put-it-all-on-the-line-fall-on-the-sword-sacrifice-everything-for-everyone guy. And as maddening as this may be, Oliver is not always going to ask Felicity’s permission before he does it. But the flip is- Felicity is the same kind of hero. If she was put in the same position as Oliver she would make the same choice. And she has.

That’s one of the reasons I’ve sort of stopped applying real world expectations on Olicity’s marriage. I certainly expect my husband to discuss life altering decisions with me, but he’s also not responsible for saving the world. In many ways Olicity is just a regular couple living in an insane world. But they are also an extraordinary couple living in an insane world. That requires a different set of expectations, which I believe is the realization they both came to.

So, Oliver gets to sacrifice himself for the world and Felicity accepts it. But Oliver doesn’t get to put on his judgey pants over the person Felicity becomes while she’s dealing with the ramifications of all Oliver’s sacrifices. This is an unusual, out of this world, extraordinary compromise, but it is a compromise nonetheless. Can I relate to Oliver and Felicity entirely? No, but then again I’m not a hero. 

What do Oliver and Felicity get from their extraordinary sacrifices? An extraordinary love.

[leelee10898]

For you: Chapter 5 - Come Clean

Characters Belong to Pixleberry, I am just borrowing them.. Except those created for this story. Summary: Two weeks later, Leo is headed out of town. Olivia and Drake keep Aria company, as they head to dinner at Dex’s estate.  Catch up HERE Rating: Angst, fluff Chapter inspiration: Come Clean - Hilary Duff

2 weeks later…. “I really hate leaving you, maybe I should cancel this tour. ” Leo tossed himself onto the bed. “No, you are not. Get your ass up and go. I will be fine Olivia is coming later today.” Aria pulled him his arms making him stand. “And Drake.” Leo mumbled. “Drake?” Aria arched her brow. Leo rubbed the back of his neck “yeah I kinda asked Drake if he would come stay here while I was gone. ” Aria leaned in and kissed his lips “You worry to much, but I appreciate it.” They walked to the front door Leo wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, his lips found hers in a long, soft kiss. “I love you.” He drops down to his knees placing a soft kiss on her small bump “and I love you two.” Tears well in Arias eyes. “Hey what’s wrong?” Leo stood placing a on her shoulders the other cupping her face. “Nothing, you’re just so damn sweet. And I am going to miss you like crazy.” The car pulls up to take Leo to the hospital. “Ill call you every day. I love you.” He leans in kissing her. “I love you too.”

A little later that day both Drake and Olivia arrived. They were bickering as soon as they walked through the door. “What is going on here?” Aria approached the two. “Oh you know, Drake is just being his normal miserable self.” Olivia scoffed crossing her arms. “Will you tell Her that it is not normal to carry 6 knives?” Drake hollered. “ Drake that’s.. wait, Olivia you carry 6 knives? Where do you keep them all?” Arias eyes went wide. “Unbelievable! I’ll be in the stables Hale.” Drake threw his hands up in the air and stormed off. “What’s with you two?” 

“The man is insufferable, He drives me crazy.” Olivia huffed. Aria went in the living area and sat down, Olivia followed. “Ok, spill whats really going on?” Aria questioned, during the engagement tour she caught them making out on more then one occasion. “Nothing, its nothing.” Olivia refused to speak. Aria gave her a accusing look. “Ok fine. He wants to be a couple. ” Olivia averted her eyes from Aria. “Ok.... and you don’t want to be?” “No, yes, I don’t know. The man makes me crazy, do you know how many denim shirts he owns? 20 Aria!” Olivia motioned twenty with her fingers. Aria stiffens back a laugh. 

“Olivia, I am going to be brutally honest with you. I am pretty sure you are in love with him, and you are just trying to tell yourself you don’t.” “I am not in love with him, I couldn’t possibly be, I am a Nevrakis, we don’t love, love is weak.” Olivia denied it, something in her eyes told a different story. “You know a very smart woman called me on my shit not that long ago. Sounds like she needs to take her own advice.” She placed her hand on Olivia’s. “You are right, I love him. thank you Aria, as hard as it is to admit, I love that grumpy asshole.” Olivia wiped a tear away. “Olivia are you crying?” Aria asked “If you tell anyone I will kill you.” Olivia threatened. 

*********** A few days had passed and things in Valtoria were a little rough. Drake and Olivia were avoiding each other. If Drake walked into a room, Olivia would excuse herself and vise versa. It was driving Aria insane. She had thought the talk Olivia and her had would change things, but Olivia was stubborn. It had been four days since Leo left. Although she spoke to him every night and he would text her on his down time, but she missed him. Her phone rang it was a video call and she smiled at Leos face lighting up her screen. “I miss you so much.” Aria sighed looking at the phone. “I miss you too, how are you feeling today? How are things going with Drake and Liv, any better?” “I’m feeling fine, and no, things with them are no better.” “I’m sorry baby, I wish I was home.” “I know, I wish you were here too. I am not looking forward to the party at Dexs” Aria rolled her eyes. “ Yeah, I really wish I was home for that.” Leos tone deepened. Aria yawned. “Mm i’m sorry its been a long day.” “No need to apolgize Love, get some rest I will call you tomorrow ok. I love you, good night.” “I love you too, good night.”Aria hung up the phone, she laid her head on her pillow and fell right to sleep.

Two days later, the night of the Party at Crenshaw manor Aria was putting her finishing touches on her make up when Olivia came strolling in. She was a vision in red, always red. While aria wore a powder pink chiffon overlay dress, that concealed her growing bump but did not seem like she was trying to hide something. "Are you ready? The car is waiting.” Olivia asked. “Yes, let me grab my clutch.” The two walked down to the car and climbed in. “You ladies look beautiful ” Drake admired as he sipped from his glass of whiskey. Olivia’s cheeks reddened “thank you.” “Yes thank you Drake, you are looking quite handsome yourself tonight. Olivia wouldn’t you agree?” Arias eyes shifted to her friends. “I..I.. yes Drake you look very handsome. ” Olivia stammered. I will get these two together if it kills me. Aria thought to herself as they felt the car roll to a stop. Dex met them at the door, “Aria, Duchess Olivia I am so glad you could make it.” He kissed each of their cheeks. “Drake, good to see you.” He extended his hand. “Come follow me.” Dex turned on his heels leading the trio through the corridor. “we will start with dinner and retire into the hall for refreshments, can I have the staff get you something to drink? Wine, champagne perhaps?” His eyes lingered on Aria. “ Water would be fantastic, thank you Dex.” She answered. As they walked into the dining room Dex sat Aria at the head table with himself, Hana and a couple other Nobles that seemed to be around He and Leos age. The night drew on and Aria remained quiet for most of the evening finding she had a hard time relating to their tales of what it was to be born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Hana leaned in “If I hear Duke Simpson announce his networth one more time I think I may scream.” Hana giggled, she had had a few glasses of wine and was feeling a bit relaxed. 

“So Duchess Aria, you are close with Prince Leo why is he not in attendance.” One of the men asked from across the table. “Yes, he is on a short tour with the motocross circuit. He sends his regards.”   "Oh that is right, he races bikes these days. Sounds like Leo, he always liked things fast. be it cars, bikes or women.” Dex sipped his wine. Aria felt her heart drop. “Well, I would like to think he has turned himself around these days.” Aria responded. The group of men laughed, “Leo doesn’t settle down, he gets bored way to easy. Which is why he slept his way through most of the court.” One of the men said “Yes, married, single, it didn’t matter to Leo. You know I heard he had a bastard out there. Some unsuspecting girl fell prey to the play boy prince. ” another chimed in. Aria felt sick to her stomach she stood up “please excuse me gentlemen.” “I will go with you.” Hana stood joining her. “Of course Duchess, we will be retiring to the hall, please find us there.”  Dex informed her.

Aria rushed off to the bathroom, Hana in tow. She dabbed some cold water on her face and neck, trying to calm herself down. “Are you ok? You don’t look so well.” Hana approached placing her hand on Arias shoulder. “I will be, thank you Hana.” “You know you shouldn’t believe them, about Leo. You know they are rumors right?” Hana smypathetically patted her back.  “I know. I am not naive I know he questionable past. It just stings a bit to hear.” She straightened herself up, lets join the others shall we? 

Aria and Hana joined the others in the hall. She noticed Olivia and Drake smiling and laughing in the corner, she smiled at the interaction finally she thought to herself. She tried to lay low but then Dex called her over to join his little group. “Aria, you must come. You will just get a kick out of these stories.” Dex insisted. She stood listening to the men talk about Dex and Leo’s hijinx growing up. The many many women they took advantage of. She felt disgusted by it all, but she stood there frozen, listening but lost in her mind at the same time. Who is this man they are talking about, not my Leo. He has changed, right? He would never leave me, no. But he also hasn’t asked me to marry him either. Maybe he is just occupying his time with me. No this is all crazy. “He would have gave up the crown sooner for her.” Aria heard Dex say, pulling her from the thoughts screaming in her head. “Im sorry who?” Her eyes perked. A gleam of mischief twinkled in his eyes. “Oh Princess Helena. Leo was madly in love with her. His true love, everyone knew it. Their parents forbid the relationship, but it never stopped them from banging a few headboards.” Dex nudged his friend. That was it, Aria couldn’t take anymore. “Lord Crenshaw, it has been a pleasure but I am afraid I must call it a night.” 

“Oh, of course Aria it has been a pleasure.” Dex grabbed Arias hand kissing the back of it. Aria found Olivia and Drake and told them she was ready to leave. They agreed but Olivia needed to use the rest room first. As she walked through the room she over heard Dex’s group engaging in conversation. “So have you nailed the new duchess yet?” Dex chuckled “well, she was here tonight so what do you think? You know how do things,  I hit it and quit it.” A few men laughed spewing a few disgusting remarks about what they would do to her in the bedroom.

“Excuse me But I could not help over hearing your conversation. ” Olivia interrupted.  “Duchess Olivia, we were just-” “You were just speaking in a disgusting manner of a noble of a higher station than yourself, lord Crenshaw.” Olivia snapped. The men stammered. “ Duchess Aria has the sole attention of a prince. Now tell me why in the hell she would entertain the likes of a bunch of titless nobodies such as yourselves?” She smirked. The men quickly looked down at their feet. “Yet you spend your time laying with a commoner. ” Dex shot a snide remark. “That commoner has more class in one finger then any of you have in your whole body.” She spat back, Olivia leaned in close to Dex “Be mindful who you are speaking of Dexter, I could castrate you in the blink of an eye and think nothing of it.” Olivia smirked, the color drained from Dex’s face. “You gentleman have a wonderful evening.” She turns and walked away.

After a silent ride back to Valtoria, Aria climbed the stairs and entered her room. She stripped her clothes throwing them across the room. She climbed into a warm shower trying to wash away the disgust she felt from the evenings events. She wrapped herself in a towel, the things they said about Leo swirling in her head. She tossed herself into bed, not bothering to get dressed. The tears were coming now, she heard her phone buzz from her night stand and d she ignored it. She laid in bed and cried herself to sleep.

Tag list: @bobasheebaby @scarlettedragon @annekebbphotography @speedyoperarascalparty @greyeyedsmile14 @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @hopefulmoonobject @alicars @katurrade @indiacater @bella-ca @blznbaby @blackwidow2721 @liamxs-world @simsvetements @furiousherringoperatortoad @choicesfannatalie @crookedslimecreatorpasta @coldcollectornight08 @llholloway @museofbooks @syltti78 @ao719 @pawandme @blubutterflyy @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @liam-rhys-deactivated20180927 @riseandshinelittleblossom

[jae-daddy]

Holic (4)

Jaebum AU

one / two / three / five / six / seven

Characters: Im Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Drama, Romance, Mature

Plot: The worst thing about growing up together is that you have too much dirt on each other.

a/n: i’m a mess

Beads of sweat dripped down your forehead as you shot up in bed. Your chest heaved as your breathing struggled to return to normal. It was another nightmare; the same one but just another night. 

You reached for your phone, deciding that you were finally going to find out what your recurring dreams meant, but sighed as you changed your mind. You already had so much on your plate, the last thing you needed on it was a superstitious paranoia. 

You turned on your phone, sighing as you saw the time. It was four am, again. You sighed as you fell back into your bed. You closed your eyes trying to fall back to sleep, but the vague images from the dream repeated itself over and over, flashing different parts before you. 

After a moment of just lying there and staring at the bare ceilings, defeated, you heaved off your bed. 

You slowly opened the door, quiet as a mouse, as you peered at Jaebum’s door. There was no light peeking from underneath so you guessed he was sleeping. That made you feel relieved for some reason, but you didn’t want to explore why. 

The truth is that Jaebum scared you. He was such an arrogant, egotistical and self-absorbed prick. A complete nob if you’ve ever seen one, and it made you so mad. But there was something other than that, something that really crept under your skin. 

Whenever he would give you his devilish smile, or laugh at your remarks, something ticked inside of you. It kept on ticking every time you were near him. You wanted to find out what the trigger was, but you were also too scared to get too close to him. 

You softly closed the door behind you as you tiptoed towards the kitchen. 

Emily, your old nanny, would always give you a warm glass of milk whenever you couldn't sleep. You weren’t sure if it was a truly magically white potion that whizzed you off to sleep, or if you had made yourself believe that it was. Nonetheless, it worked, and it was better than being dependent on pills, you had decided. 

Just as you were about to reach the kitchen, you felt movement from the corner of your eye. Suddenly, the shadow became more prominent, taking shape of a real man.

A terrified scream left your lungs, as you threw yourself backwards. 

You heard the familiar chuckle of Jaebum, as you cowered against the wall. Your hands over your pounding heart. 

“Jaebum, you asshole!” You huffed, trying to calm your racing heart. 

His chuckle deepened into a laugh as you sat there frowning at him. You tried to ignore how he looked as his eyes disappeared, or the way his laugh resonated deep in your chest. Instead, you straightened yourself as you took in what he was wearing.

“Did you just get back home?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at his suit. Without waiting for an answer, you turned and began walking to the kitchen like you had planned.

Jaebum followed your suit, humming in reply. 

“Yeah, I had a wonderful, yet exceptionally long day today,” he sighed, as he leaned against the bench. “A lot of investors are wanting to sponsor the new app that we’re developing.”

Your lips curled into a smile hearing that, as you took out the milk. Your eyes darted over to Jaebum, and he smiled knowingly. The marriage was showing off its effects; it wasn’t all in vain.

“That’s great to hear,” you smiled at him, as you poured yourself a cup of milk. “Want some?” 

“I’m good, thanks,” he shook his head, before walking over to the fridge and taking out a pink coloured bottle. 

You watched him from where you were standing. 

He looked fine, good even. Nothing like a guy whose bride didn’t show up on his wedding day. He seemed like someone whose life was on track and perfect. No sign of an angry, heartbroken man you had seen before.

“How can you look so fine?” You asked, shaking your head lightly. 

Jaebum chuckled, before throwing a smirk your way. “It’s mostly in my genes, but it takes a lot of effort to have such a great body and run a multi-billion company.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, as you failed to hide the humoured smile making its way onto your lips. You pursed your lips, as you shook your head slightly.

“God, you’re insane,” you muttered, before taking a sip of your milk. 

You both silently stood there in the dimly lit kitchen. Covered in the golden hue of the few lights illuminating over you. You couldn’t see his face properly, but you could tell he was thinking of something. 

“Aren’t you upset because of her?” You asked, eyeing the milk in your cup. 

“No, not really,” he shrugged sighing, and it really did seem like he was okay. 

“You both were supposed to get married, Jaebum,” you tried. “How can you be fine?” 

“Your sister and I had an understanding,” Jaebum answered, his tone truthful and sincere, but that wasn’t enough for you. 

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “An understanding that lets you screw your secretary while you’re engaged to someone else?”

You bit your lip, as the last words left your mouth. You didn’t mean to say that, but you had wondered about it the whole day. You wondered how long Jaebum had been screwing the foolish little girl. If your sister had known, if the that was the reason why she didn’t show up. If Jaebum was really cheating on your sister.

“So is this what all this is about?” Jaebum huffed, as he rose an eyebrow in question. “God, you’re such a child.”

You stared at him in disbelief as he loosened the dark tie around his neck. 

He stood there upright and almightly like being three years older than you made him much more of an adult and human than you. 

“A child?” You sneered, your voice low. “I’m sorry, my three years younger than you brain can’t seem to comprehend how an understanding between to a soon-to-be-married couple allows them to go around and fuck their personal assistants. That kind of understanding makes no sense to me. It’s truly beyond my minuscular understanding of ethics.”

You slammed your cup on the counter in anger as your blazing eyes rested on Jaebum. You hated it when he treated you like a child. When he left you out of the circle. When he treated you like a little girl tugging on his sleeves to come play with you. 

Jaebum’s lips curled into an easy smile as he slowly walked towards you. His eyes never leaving you with every step. Your breathing fastened as he neared, but you told yourself it was the anger. You could feel that it was mostly the anger and a hint of something else. 

He stopped in front of you, less than a feet away from you. You took a step back, as your raging eyes met his dark stormy ones. Your hip hit the counter, and your hands gripped its cold granite top.

Jaebum took a step closer to you. His warm brown eyes watching you as he placed his hands on your wrist, slowly tracing them up your bare arms. His fingers curved on your shoulders, brushing the ends of your neck before gently travelling down the middle of your back. His touch causing sparks to dance up your spine. He rested his hands behind you on the counter, trapping you in his arms. 

You held your breath, as his gaze and hands touched you. 

You felt his warm breath gently hit your lips. He leaned in for a bit, inviting you for a small little taste of their softness. You turned your head to the side, not wanting to give into the wicked temptation. You avoided his intense gaze, but could still feel his eyes on you. 

Jaebum’s lips grazed the side of your neck, causing goosebumps to rise all over your body. You bit your lip, holding in any sound that would let Jaebum know of the excitement sparking inside you. Your heart was beating erratically, your chest rising and falling, as his soft lips gently touched your skin, leaving a trail of fire behind. 

His lips caressed your ear before he bit it, gently.

“This is why,” he whispered, and you closed your eyes at the feeling of his soft lips lightly touching your ear with every word. “You will never be able to be like your sister.” 

You felt a bucket of ice water be dumped over your head, numbing you out of the trance he had cast over you.

Your body froze at his words before you roughly pushed him away. You felt bile rise up your throat, as anger spiked up your spine painting your vision red.

If your eyes were raging before, now they were raining fire. 

“How dare you?” You whispered, through gritted teeth. You fisted your hands on your side, as you stared at him standing there nonchalantly. 

He knew your worst thing, your personal hell, was being your sister’s shadow. Always in her comparison, always one step behind her. Even though you were complete opposites, the whole world wanted to see how you measure up against your sister on a scale based solely on how she was.

“You know it is the truth, y/n,” he replied, the smile resting lazily on his lips.

“And you know how I am.” You challenged looking into his eyes. 

If he was going to strike at your weak spots, you were going to do the same. 

You saw Jaebum’s eyes flicker with an unknown emotion as your eyes began to burn red, with tears begging to be shed. But you didn’t cry, you won’t cry. 

You will never cry because a stupid boy likes to play dirty. 

You didn’t say anything more and just walked out of the kitchen. 

You didn’t stop until you were in the bathroom. You stood under the shower, as hard drops of warm water washed over your skin. You closed your eyes and took deep breathes to control the storm hurling inside of you. 

When you walked out of the shower, you snickered looking at the time. It was six thirty, meaning no more time to sleep. You got ready for work and planned on skipping breakfast. 

You walked past the dining room where Jaebum was seated, and a plate set out for you. 

“Y/n,” he sighed, his voice heavy, as you walked past him. You stopped in your tracks waiting for him to continue. 

“Look I should-” Before he could continue, his assistant wondered in through the doors. 

You smiled brightly at her, as you took in what she was wearing. 

“Oh my, Cynthia,” you plastered on the sweetest smile and voice. Your eyes travelled to the outfit that she was wearing which was neither appropriate nor professional enough for the secretary of a multi-billion CEO. “Aren’t you off to the conquer the world with your hard work today? Wonderful choice of clothes, by the way.”

You winked at her as you walked past her, but stopped when you were a step behind her. 

“A word of advice, Cynthia, I would start counting down my time with him if I were you,” she turned to look at you with a horrified look. You gave her a soft smile that you were taught since you were a child. 

You got into your car. You pulled out your phone and texted your assistant to put your apartment on lease. Before you could put it away, your phone buzzed in your hand. You sighed reading the message, before sending another text to Jihyo.

Look for dresses for the both of us. My mother is planning to have a dinner party tomorrow night. Excited. xx

not edited

[morningpages-louise]

september 08, 2018

Hello i am writing from cebu, yup, still here, hanging tight lol its 12:12 wew on september 8, a friday night. i'm home, ofcourse. candy, sweet adorable candy who has just gotten a haircut is sitting in front of me in the black lazy boy we've had for years. i'm enjoying listening to my tunes on my mom's bluetooth beats headphones. it's noise cancelling and the sound is quite impeccable but im quite scared someone will try to sneak up on me and read my thoughts and judge me so im currently trying to balance my laptop perched on my left thigh. I just finished watching a couple of youtube videos, but my mind was racing on other things, such as the stuff i have yet to do. lol im literally the worst.. i literally had 2 weeks to do nothing but these tasks and i have failed. i haven't even watched my darn underwear. so now im feeling the pressure of time and i have to choose between relaxing myself and enjoying my last few moments with my family and my work and professional life huhu its okay. imma try my best to balance it. i recently got work as a transcriber, easy peasy, but i can't even focus on that cause like my priorities man. first its with my fam, then my next priority is time to prepare for my OS in AIESEC. So the job is pretty much my 3rd priority. and then i also have to think about the NYC itinerary. uhm, im okay. im also a shit person for putting these all off. during the start of the break we always think we have more time than we actually have. im sad that i only got the groove of things now, when its too late. SADNESS. pero okay lang. im going to miss mornings where i wake up and can literally just spend hours scrolling through my phones cause like no responsibilities. and im going to miss going down and seeing muffin and candy but alas i might go. i always feel more productive when im in manila. like when im in cebu i feel like im being sucked in a hole of unproductivity cause i want to spend as much time with my family, but when im in manila its just like work work work. it could be the hustle and bustle of the city but its good, at doeses. we should always make sure to find time to deflect and just chill the fuck out. i think i will continue my guava pass next next week, after the wedding because for sure i wont have time to do it while the wedding is going on. i guess that's what makes the fact that im going to manila so soon not so bad, in terms of homesickness. nikki and my mother will be flying to manila next friday for the wedding so that's great. ugh i will also miss ofcourse watching terrace house with nikki and laughing at the characters, especially taishi and yusuke. i will miss spending time with my beautiful mother who i love so dearly. watching cat creature's video vlog of her stay in paris with her mother made me hope that one day i will be fortunate enough to earn a salary and raise enough money to bring my mom to places she's always dreamed of travelling to. ugh that would be beautiful. i cherish my mother even though at times i may not show it. i love her dearly. i love her so much. so yeah im feeling pressured af because nikki is also having the same job as me and she is already working, meanwhile im just trying to live. i also have to think of my mentrep idea. maybe i will just choose not to sleep tonight? lol okay with me as long as im productive lol this toxic schedule i did not really miss. i really need to piss. but yes. maybe i shall end this note with what im grateful for since its been a while since ive shared. honestly i love how relaxed my stay here is but im also excited to get in the groove of things. im excited for a fresh new start once again. this term, i will work hard and give it my all. i will grow. it's like the last leg of the year so let's make it a home run and make it a year to remember shall we? i have a good feeling about the next few months to be honest.. let's do this senior year. omg i just realized. how fast time flies. throwback to my frosh days huhu dani sent me a photo of my frosh self in lpep and im just shookened. by the people ive met, the opportunities ive gotten and where i am now. 3 years ago today, i was a totally confused froshie who didnt know where yuch or sj building was. i wanted to get out of the block system so badly because i didn't feel like i had a solid group at that time. everything was so new. i was dying in college algebra. i was hella homesick. and now im here, wishing i were in manila instead of here because manila has become home. looking back at it now, i feel like im still that same person but maybe its always like this you know. we always feel like we're the same person. it's not until we take a step back and look at ourselves that we see how much we've changed. it's insane. maybe i havent changed as drastically as my friends, aka kris and kathy lol but i know i have changed in some ways. im more responsible. i have a somewhat clearer vision of what id like to do in life. i know what's important to me. its crazy. i wish my present self could meet my frosh 17 year old self and show her just what college will be full of. she could guide her on what to do like study fucking algebra its not that hard, tell her who the people who will fill her life with rich memories are so she doesn't have to waste her time with the wrong people and tell her that it will be fine. everything will work out. it may seem like scary, untouched territory at the moment but goddamnit you will grow so much in the next 3 years. you will figure yourself out more. you will adult, as boring and unexciting as it sounds, it can actually be quite fun. ugh its insane talaga. i guess i am grateful for everything lol so damn vague and broad. i dont know. im grateful that i always have myself to come back to. no matter how tough life may be, im here. i've always been here. i will get through anything as long as i pass through. i am here. i am aware. i am aware of everything i have. all the opportunities i have. all the things that i will one day lose and because im aware, i will not take these things for granted. because i know. i am aware. i just have to goddamn remind myself this quote all the time. i often think too much. i think its a symptom of living talaga. we're all faced with the dilemma of thinking too much and thinking quite unnecessary thoughts at that damn these mosquitoes ruining my mojo but yes. we must learn to roll with life's punches and live goddamnit. revel in happiness and live. flow with life. constant reminders we must always remind ourselves. so yes. im grateful that i am here and i am aware of all that i currently have and will soon have. thankyou. thankyou thankyou. what i am not grateful for is mosquitoes goddamnit.