#i hate the layout of this post but i need to stop staring at it

[irisintheafterglow]

to tell you is too scary (so I'll just say something else)

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ now playing: lizzy mcalpine - "pancakes for dinner"

summary: nightmares don't usually translate to reality, but you call sakusa for the first time in years. just to be safe.

wc: 1k

cw/tags: gn!reader and post-timeskip!sakusa, nightmare about a plane crash but nothing descriptive, angst/comfort with happy ending, childhood friends to lovers (??), dialogue-driven, he hates everyone but you

note: yayy first @ficsforgaza gift post for @froggiewonder17 !! i tried out a different layout for the top section of this post, lmk if y'all like it! thank you again for donating to help palestinian families, i hope you like this :)) my f4g masterpost can be found here!

likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated!

Your thumb trembles over the call button next to his contact, hovering and waiting for some unseen force to make you stop. Your hand keeps shaking, no matter how hard you try to stop it; the ravaged skin of your cuticles is stained with dried blood from your constant picking and scratching. Dread crashes again in a wave and you find yourself trapped under the water, gasping for air that wasn’t being inhaled. With a knot in your lungs, instinct takes over and taps your phone. 

The three ascending notes of the phone dialing his number sound far away and you unexpectedly heave out a choked sob. He’d probably changed his number or deleted yours. Maybe he would simply glance at the unknown caller ID and ignore it entirely, returning to his drink with all his teammates at the bar. You didn’t know him anymore. 

You didn’t know him anymore. 

Your palm slams onto the red circle and you curl into as tight of a ball as you can muster, disappearing into the corner of your bedroom. It’s stupid, calling him because of the first night terror you’d had in a decade. When you were kids, he was always your first call when your eyes flew open. I’m with you, I’ve got you, he said. He guided you when adrenaline turned into anxiety, when the void outside your window was unfathomably dark. He’d stay until your breathing evened into a sleeping rhythm and wouldn’t hang up until your phone died or you woke up the next morning. He was there every time you were drowning, and your soul didn’t know what to do without its safety ring except sink, 

and sink, 

and sink…

INCOMING CALL. 

CALLER ID: Kiyoomi💛💚

You stare at your phone screen illuminating the blankets like a beacon. Blinking once, then twice, you wait for it to disappear like a hallucination or a trick of your psyche. It doesn’t, and when you have half the mind to reach for your phone, the screen disappears. You’d missed the call. Maybe it was a trick of the mind? 

(1) MISSED CALL - Kiyoomi💛💚

INCOMING CALL.

CALLER ID: Kiyoomi💛💚

You’re faster this time, snatching your phone from the covers and swiping the ���answer call” button to the side. It’s quiet on the other end of the line for a moment, but he’s there. He always was, wasn’t he?

“...Omi?”

“Hey,” he says gently. There’s faint noise in the background of where he is, sounds of conversations and telecom announcements. Even with the sound of rolling wheels, he’s still clear. “You called.” Fifty minutes away, Kiyoomi imagines you nodding in the silence, maybe wiping a stray tear with the corner of your fitted sheet. “You’re safe?” You hum a shaky mhmm, still unable to force out any words. He murmurs your name, coaxing you out of your tight ball. “I need to hear you say it.”

“I’m safe,” you reply after a breath. Based on your voice alone, he could tell the night terror happened no more than five minutes before you called. “I just–I’m sorry if I–”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it,” he reassures you, immediately shooting Atsumu a withering glare when he tries to dance up to Kiyoomi’s less busy part of the airport. The MSBY team’s international flight was canceled an hour ago, but he was still trying to figure out if he wanted to stay with his teammates at a closer hotel. The present situation felt, literally and metaphorically, like you were calling him home. 

“There was a plane,” you say in a broken whisper. He strains to hear your crackling voice and shakes his head adamantly when Bokuto and Hinata try to join Atsumu’s antics. Now was not the time to fuck around with him. “You were on it, and something went wrong, and it–There was an accident and…I just had to watch it happen. I had to watch it happen and I couldn’t do anything.” Your voice cracks and trails off, making Kiyoomi’s chest twist like a wrung towel. Your friendship was strained after Kiyoomi’s second Nationals, fading completely until there was nothing left when you graduated except photobooth strips from third grade. He kept your number, though, in case something like this ever happened. In case you needed him again or he needed you, he never decided.

“Are you–are you home right now?” Another broken mhmm. “Can I see you?”

“You’re not overseas?”

“I was supposed to be, as of an hour ago,” he admits, running an exasperated hand through his curls and straightening his track jacket collar. A flash of light catches the corner of his eye. Cameras, cameras, cameras, always. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, continuing, “But, the flight got delayed and ultimately canceled because of maintenance issues. We’re probably gonna have to postpone the game.”

“I’m sorry, Omi.” You hear him shrug in that indifferent manner that always seemed to come down when he was with you. All his walls, actually, came down when he was with you. 

“I don’t care, honestly. My question still stands.” He swallows thickly, begging you to say yes for both of your sakes. When his phone showed your contact photo for the seven seconds you called, it awakened grief in him he thought he’d buried years ago. By all accounts, Sakusa Kiyoomi desperately missed you. “I can be there in an hour. I’ll take a car, I don’t care how much it costs.” 

“It’s–it’s fine, you really should stay with your team and rest,” you mutter, always the selfless one worrying about his well-being. You were too good to him, letting him cancel plans for training camps and tournaments, always letting him go. “I don’t want you missing another flight if it comes up.” 

Too bad that, when it came to you, Kiyoomi had decided long ago he’d always be selfish. 

“Say you need me and I will be there.” You don’t hesitate. 

“I need you here, Omi,” you murmur. He’s gone in seconds–mind, body, and soul. His body acted instinctually, running on nothing else but the sole purpose of getting home to you. With a wad of cash and an Olympic athlete’s intellect calculating the fastest way to reach you, he vows that you would never need to say you needed him again.

Because he’d say he needed you instead.

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[chachued]

━━ SPANISH TUTOR | 1610!MILES MORALES

Miles stood in his doorway, confused yet curious as to why you, of all people, had been sitting in his room with his Spanish textbook.

↳ 1610!miles morales x fem!reader

W/C:

CONTENTS: enemies to lovers (or more accurately, academic rivals to lovers), a lot of banter, fluff, half proofread!!

A/N: if anyone has any idea how to make an aesthetically pleasing layout for tumblr posts, please PLEASE dm me!!! made the last few parts in the middle of econ class, so im sorry if it's not the best!!

“You?” Miles dropped his bag on the floor.

“Yeah,” you smiled with a cheap, putrid grin spewing across your face. “Me.”

Miles groaned as his head fell back. “I don’t need this right now, I need to—“

Before he could say anything he’d deeply regret, he stopped himself and just stared at you. His tongue was in a twist, having absolutely no words to say.

You — The one he hates, the one whom él pensaba que era hermosa, and the one who had been sitting on the floor of his room.

he thought was beautiful.

He took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Okay, why are you here?”

“Because you’ve been missing your sessions, and thankfully, Ganke let me in just before he left.”

Miles’ face was in complete confusion. His nose was wrinkled, his mouth agape, and his eyebrows were furrowed. It was the whole package for goodness sake.

“Okay— Okay! Let’s just…” He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. His exhale was ragged, and it was almost like you could tell he was enraged. “Why are you here?”

“I just said so.”

“Nah, you didn’t.”

“You were missing sessions.”

“I don’t even know what you’re on about,” he yelled, covering his face with his palms.

Honestly, Miles wanted to jump out his window right about now. He could not take any second of your insufferable voice. His hands dragged down from his eyes to his chin — clearly distraught.

His reaction put an off-putting smile on your face. He could not do this anymore.

“Nah, you know what?” Miles took a step back. “I ain’t doing this.”

“Your parents hired me.”

Time slowed down, his eyes were wide, and he lacked the previous bravery to speak. He swiftly admitted defeat, grabbing his bag and walking to you slowly.

Miles was never one to give up so quickly. However, he doesn't have a choice when his family is involved.

You were enjoying this.

You offered a pen, which Miles took lazily.

And there it is — that giggle.

He held his breath as he took in the sound of your laughter. "You sound stupid."

"Says the Latino who is getting tutored in Spanish."

Miles huffed, "I'm only half."

This time, you stifled the giggle. Even though you adore this, you couldn't bear to spend another minute with Miles Morales.

He could tell. Of course, he can.

“Okay, so, what are you having trouble with?” you asked, attempting to not laugh at him.

“You’re not even trying to be professional!”

“I am—“ You took a deep breath, but at last, a snort still sneaked its way out. “—trying.”

Miles furrowed his eyebrows, regretting not kicking you out as soon as he saw you. “No estás intentando, cariña.”

you are not trying, darling.

You ignored his comment, continuing to flip through the pages of his textbook. “Let’s start here.”

Miles bit the cap of his pen while he doodled above the premade questions. “So how come you don’t have any friends?”

You looked up from your phone. “I have a lot.”

Now, it was his turn to laugh.

"What? Is it that hard to believe?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, come on, I have William, Stacy..."

The cap bites completely stopped. "They barely talk to you — Those are acquaintances."

You shrugged your shoulders, continuing to look down and scroll on your phone. It gave Miles an unusual worry.

The silence was deafening.

"I guess I don't have any friends friends."

That uneasiness worked its way up to Miles' head, coming down to his lips. "Well," he said.

You hummed in response.

"You know I'm your friend, right?"

Almost like a primal instinct, you jolted back. Not sure whether to be thankful, decline, agree, or laugh. There's so many ways to reply, but none of them were right — Some rude, for that matter.

Miles coughed to interrupt your train of thought, probing an answer out of you with just his curious look.

"I didn't know you were my friend."

"Ah, dale, querida! You are since primer uno," he reassured with that big goofy grin.

come on, dear. you are since day one,

"You made an imaginary competition to be better than me."

"Aka since day one, you have made me a better person."

You offered a meek smile, giggling a bit at his attempt to make you feel better. The bright side is it didn't make you feel worse. That's the minimum, according to Miles.

"Friends go to each other's houses, so isn't this what we're doing?"

"I broke in."

"And I forgive you."

Now both of you had lopsided grins. It was embarrassing, but not with him. It could never be embarrassing.

Mostly because you're tutoring a Hispanic Spanish.

Miles teased, "Mi tutora de español."

thank you for reading through it all <3

please take my a/n seriously because i genuinely need it.

[eunchancorner]

Ykw I wrote something for my english class but I'm proud of it so I wanna post it here.

Keep in mind I will likely not continue this story, it's based solely on a writing prompt from my teacher

-

Lambert reached out as they left their tent, looking at the pitch black that normally contained their camp. Slowly they moved forward, feeling the grass beneath them eerily still. There was no wind, no chill nor sweltering heat. There was nothing but darkness. Suffocating darkness.

Around them, they heard the footsteps of their followers leaving their shelters. It was supposed to be morning, wasn’t it? They turned their gaze upward, but was greeted only with more darkness. No moon, no stars, no dark purple night sky nor the distant light of the lighthouse.

“Leader?” they heard someone call out, turning towards where they thought the voice had come from. In another direction, a different voice called them; “Leader, what’s happening?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ll try to figure it out!” they reassured the two. They removed the crown from their head, the red eye in the center glowing brightly in the pitch black. One single light source. They raised it up, and the crown levitated just above their outstretched hands, before beginning to spin rapidly.

“My followers, move towards my crown! In this darkness, we must stick together!” they instructed, hearing footsteps approaching them from various directions. They heard some followers guiding others, either those who were turned around, or Leshy, who was blind altogether. They felt the tugging grips of some of the younger followers as they finally reached them, grabbing onto their cape.

“That’s it, everyone surround me. We need to find a way to create some light, so we’re not all walking blind here.”

“Ahem.”

“Apologies, Leshy. But perhaps, you can be a bit more useful than a cook now. You have the camp layout memorized than even I do. This darkness doesn’t affect you because it’s practically your element now. Please, lead us to the fire pit, so we can see just a bit of our camp.”

“And why should I do anything for you, Lamb?” he snarled defiantly.

“Because if you don’t, I will personally see to it that you are the next sacrifice,” replied a voice that Lambert recognized as Narinder, Leshy’s older brother.

“You hate them as much as I do!” Leshy argued.

“I hate this darkness more, now move your sorry tail before we light you on fire instead!” Narinder ordered, and with a grumble, Leshy grabbed Lambert’s wrist, leading them through the grass, counting steps and occasionally stopping to sniff the air. After a while, Lambert’s crown lowered as Leshy made his final stop.

“It should be just here,” he told them, pushing at what Lambert assumed was a large rock with his foot. Harnessing their power, Lambert lit a tiny flame in their palm, slowly holding it near the structure, seeing the small pile of wood and surrounding stones. They planted their hand against the firewood until it lit up, slowly illuminating a small area. The followers quickly surrounded the flame, uniting with their friends and siblings.

“I don’t like the dark!” Kallamar whined as he came over to where Leshy was standing with Lambert, alongside the other three siblings.

“... coward…” Heket rasped at her younger brother.

“Where did all this darkness come from?” Shamura questioned, ignoring their sister’s blatant rudeness. “It is like the world is being hidden away from the stars… or the stars are being hidden from us.”

“Do you think that this is a sign from the old gods? Perhaps without us in the way, they’ve returned,” Narinder speculated. “Perhaps they wish to challenge you, Vessel?”

“Me?! I was barely able to defeat you, how am I supposed to defeat the old gods?!” Lambert worried, staring into the fire before them.

“Well, you also defeated all of my siblings, and they forced the old gods to step down or perish in the first place. If you are stronger than my siblings, perhaps you are stronger than these gods as well. After all, you still hold my power in your crown,” he assured them as the crown hopped back down into their hands, staring up at them with its glowing red eye.

“Maybe, maybe…” they murmured as they turned their gaze to the sky.

“Let’s just hope they’re as easy to defeat now as they were then.”

[lucifervchatse]

Eye Contact

This is my first Fic post and im still adjusting to the tumblr Layout. (it’s whooping my ass)

Description: You and ony have been dating for a few months. You’ve been taking anti depressants and your mood has been shot.

wk:: idk..

Warnings? Aggressive behavior, semi-Toxicish, short-Smut. fem!Reader who’s black and autistic. cussing .Eye contact. Hair pulling. Cream pie! small age gap. 4 years~ bad communication. Nigga is used. pet names (I’m adding this shit on as i write) doggy style then upward doggy. Ony a sweetie pie yall.

You hated eye contact. It always makes you uncomfortable. Which is so easy to read with you, once you started playing with your locs it’s obvious when you started to play with your hair and pat your head that you’re uncomfortable.

Yet people still demand you to look you in their eye. Your boyfriend Ony understands to a certain point but he likes looking you in the eye. It shows respect he claims, but even still you refuse to stare him in the eye to long. You would at something behind him or at his neck he especially makes you nervous.

You set comfortable on your boyfriends bed as you waited for his arrival. It’s 10:34 you mumble to your self. luckily you have a spare key card so your able to go in and out as you please in cases like this. You heard the door handle rattling singling you that he’s home.

“Hey babe.” You mumble. You didn’t have a attitude. You never really do but he didn’t know that. “What’s wrong with you?” He ask sitting his bag down behind the door and kicked off his shoes,before sitting next to you on the bed. “Nothing, I’m fine” He turn to look at him then looking back on the phone. “Why are you in the dark?” He grab the tv remote from the nightstand beside the table.

You hate it when he mentions you being in the dark. You didn’t mind. You like it more then the light. The light hurts your eyes making you agitated. “I just prefer it. I don’t like the light.” You moved over, now getting annoyed. He mumble something under his breath. Sadly you didn’t catch it still scrolling through tiktok watching some videos about Theories on a current anime you wanted to catch on.

“You know you need to communicate more.” He look over at you. “I do communicate.” you said still locked in your phone. He snatch your phone from your hand.

“See this the shit I be talking about y/n. You don’t even acknowledge me when I’m talking to you!” He gritted through his teeth. You didn’t even care about what he said you just wanted your phone. You reach over him try to get your phone back but he was taller then you. (Nigga like 6’4 Y/n like 5’6) “Bro give me my phone. I’m not playing with you!”

You yelled at him getting up from the bed. You paced around the small room. “Nah, You ain’t getting this shit until you talk.” You stop mid pace to look at him. “And fix your face.” He add you roll your eyes. “Ain’t shit wrong with me. You on dick for real. Hop off.” You ranted. Ony stared at you with a blank face making it even harder for you to even think.

“This the shit i’m talking about. You get so aggravate when I ask you what’s wrong and you start bitching.” He started he grab you by your hands. “I understand it’s hard for you to talk but you have to learn baby..Look at me.” He place his hand on your chin so you can look him in the eyes. “I said it before nothings wrong. You just assume so much! This is just how I talk to people”

Ony nods. He stared as you as you talk causing a little discomfort and since he’s hold your hands you started to bounce your leg. “I’m fine! I pass my pysch exam today! I’m just a little tired I guess but it’s nothing that can’t be fix.” You stop pouted. You sat next to him on the bed and lay you head on his shoulder.

He kiss your forehead. “It’s okay. I know your not use to it but your in a relationship now. it’s hard to read the emotions on your face. We can help each other.” He pulled you on his lap. Now face to face with him it made you uneasy. The eye contact made you feel uncomfortable you shifted on his lap trying to distract him from looking you in the eye.

“Stop moving on my dick ma, Shit ain’t gonna work.” He slapped your ass warning you to stop moving. You pout. You tugged sweatshirt trying to pull it off.

“the only thing your gonna make it up to me if you riding and yo ass don’t have megan knees let me save you the pain..” Once he said that Suddenly you face up ass down.

You was cold. With the cold air hitting your bake body you became sensitive to his small touches.

You use his large hands to spread your pussy apart giving her small butterfly kisses. “You remember the last time we had sex?” You deepen your arch and shook your head. “It was 2 months ago…”

He flick his tongue along the walls of your pussy. Sucking one lip then moving to the other lip. “Shit so fat.” You buck your hips against his mouth craving for more.

Instead he position himself. His tip just pressing again your pussy.

“Imma fuck your dumbass up.” He pushed himself in feeling your walls tighten around his dick. “Fuucck” You moaned out. “Waittt..To much..” You try to move forward but Ony quickly shut that shit down. He pushed you back on. “Where you going? We just started?” He gritted through his teeth. Changing your guy’s current position.

Your back was press against his chest forcing you to arch as your back was firmly press against him. He gripped your arms to your side thrusting into you aggressively. “Tight.Ass.Pussy..” He groan making sure you take every inch. “Slow down!!!!” You whine Ony use one hand to hold your hands in place and the other one to push down against the bulge he was giving you.

You tits was bouncing with each thrust he gave you. Nipples perk up with pure bliss and excitement. Waiting for your release to come.

The knock in your stomach feels like it’s coming undone. “Baby..F-fuck imma cum! So-Slow down!” You gasped out. Throwing your head back staring at his lips. “Hm? You gonna cum? you know where you got to cum on.” his pace fasten. He want to see you become nothing but a mess.

“Wait- Fuck! Oh my god!! Don’t! Fucking!” You couldn’t even form a word. His on grip your waist was tight. It only took a few more thrust before you knot became undone.

“Oh fucccck!!” You moaned out. Eyes shooting open your legs shaking as you cream on his dick. Ony slowly pull out. “There you go baby.” He laid you gently on the bed,placing multiple kissing on your face.

“My sweet girl. That wasn’t so bad was it?” He laid up beside you. getting the covers to put over y’all.

“We’re on the wrong side of tinge bed I can’t sleep.” You turn to look at him. Ony laughed. “girl if you don’t-“

A/N

PLEASE THIS IS MY FIRST FIC THIS FEELS LIKE WATTPAD ALL IVER AGAIN. I can’t figure out how to get the word count but imma round this shit up to 2k And a big thank you to @shahanaazsoumah ! Thank you for supporting and please give me feedback. Next i’m thinking about writing an Drugdealer!Eren x Fem! college student reader 😄. I’m 18 in college yet I still struggle with grammar and spelling I apologize for that im still working on it in college (They KICKING MY ASS) Thabk you for reading!!

[sokoviansimp]

Lesson in Love

Pairings: Kate Bishop x Reader, Friend!Peter x Friend!Reader, Kate Bishop x Peter Parker, and eventually Wanda x Reader

Tags & Warnings: slight angst, drunken sickness

Summary: You and your best friend are really close... maybe a little too close.  

A/N: This is planned out to be a 4 part series as of now. We start off with Kate being the main character with Y/N but by the end, it will shift and start to include Wanda more. If you want to be added to the tag list, lmk or just turn notifs on for this account since I only post my fics here anyway.

Word Count: 4922

Masterlist

It’s only been a week, you think to yourself as you stare at your phone. 

A week since you’ve spoken to your best friend, or at least, the person that you thought was your best friend. You could sense that she was drifting away from you in the last couple of months, and yet there was nothing you could do to stop it. It was a helpless feeling, all you could do was stand by and watch. 

Kate was hired at the retail store that you had been working at through college. As a supervisor, you were tasked with training the brunette on her first day. 

The shift started like any other, you walked into the back room to clock in. This time though, there was a person you didn’t recognize sitting in the office to the right of the hallway that you had to walk past to get to the time clock. The girl had raven-colored hair and a mix of ocean and emerald in her eyes. She wasn’t alone in the open space, one of your managers was in there chatting with her too, carrying on a casual conversation like they had known each other for years prior. 

You noticed the way she sat in the chair; comfortable, with one leg propped up and her foot on the chair as the other spread to the floor like she frequented the place. By the way she held herself, you assumed she wasn’t new and had maybe just transferred from another store or something.  Thinking back on your first day, you would be way too nervous to make yourself at home like that, or even just carry on such a casual conversation with your manager in the way she was in that moment.

Not thinking too much of it, you grabbed your lanyard and your radio then headed downstairs to your station. Typically the closing supervisors got shafted with scheduling. The morning team always had multiple people at the desk, which meant the supervisor on duty was mobile to move around the store as needed; but when it came time to close, you were often scheduled alone. Not only was this frustrating because you hated being tethered to that desk, but closing duties involved getting everything ready for the morning. Ironic that you were responsible for getting everything ready for the morning when they had more staff on and were typically less busy. 

The store you worked at was inside the mall which meant it had the potential to get very busy. Tonight was a weeknight in early October and the weather was good, so you didn’t expect anything more than a few customers an hour. No less than 20 minutes later, the girl from the break room came waltzing up to your desk with your manager. 

“Y/N, this is Kate, she’ll be training with you tonight” 

You hoped you didn’t show it visibly, but that’s the last thing you wanted to do. Nothing against Kate, but you hated training new employees in general. Not only did you doubt yourself as a teacher, but you often became frustrated when they didn’t catch on as quickly as you normally would. 

As your manager walked away, you began showing your new teammate the layout of the desk and the POS system. Similar to earlier, you got the feeling that she had done this before. She was easily able to learn the ropes and by the end of the night, you were even able to send her off to ring at a register alone while another cashier took a break. 

The two of you became close fairly quickly and discovered you had a lot in common. From your shared love of archery, all the way down to your favorite restaurant. 

“Where do you guys wanna go for dinner” Kate’s boyfriend, Peter, asked as you all got ready to leave

“Red Robin” Kate responded with no hesitation

You had used that same response with your family so many times they had stopped asking you anymore. 

“Yes! That’s my literal favorite restaurant” you responded shocked at her answer

“No way, mine too!” she said, “they have the best sauces” you said in unison

It was such a small thing; but every time you told someone you wanted to eat at your favorite restaurant, they became visibly annoyed. The fact that Kate not only liked the place but also appreciated the sauces, made you so happy. 

At first, you were both accompanied by other friends from work whenever you would hang out. Kate lived just a few blocks away from the college you were attending. Soon enough, you began hanging out in between your classes and on days you didn’t work; and when you weren't hanging out, you were on facetime together. Some nights, the two of you would even fall asleep on the phone together. Kate would usually fall asleep first, and in the beginning, you would hang up when you realized she was sleeping. That is until she complained that the beep of the disconnection woke her up. Not wanting to do anything to disturb her, you simply muted the mic and let the call run until she woke up in the morning to disconnect it herself. 

You two became practically obsessed with each other, updating one another on every little thing in your life throughout each day. It didn’t matter if it was a regular daytime hour or 3 am; if something noteworthy was happening, you were the person she texted. Your heart practically fluttered when she called you her best friend; you didn’t know why you liked the sound of it falling from her lips so much, it’s like it had validated that the feeling was mutual, that she cherished you just as much as you craved her. 

Kate had a way of simultaneously making you feel like the most important thing in her life and also like you were walking on thin ice around her. It wasn’t necessarily that she had a short fuse, but she was allowed to do things to you that you weren’t allowed to reciprocate unless she initiated it. To most people; maybe this would’ve been a red flag, but to you, well you were just happy to have Kate’s attention. You always had an underlying fear in the back of your head that one day she would get tired of you and no longer want you in her life. That could be your own fears growing out of proportion, but it was more likely because she would often casually slip the idea into conversation by saying things like, “when we are no longer friends” or “at least there’s one thing you can take away from this friendship”- always alluding to the impermanence of it. She made sure to always hold the power in your dynamic, and sometimes you didn’t even realize it. Other times though, you actually liked giving her all of the power. You liked being the reason she was happy, so much so, that you didn’t mind sacrificing your own joy for it. 

Just like any new friend, you found something new about each other every time you got together. Kate wasn’t necessarily a rebel or anything, but she had a lot more experience than you in life. You often thought Kate was much cooler than you, and it was a wonder she was even your friend in the first place. You two meshed really well though, her extroverted personality was a good balance to your secluded demeanor.  Even though you were both the same age; Kate had moved hours away from her parents and was living on her own with her boyfriend, and she had really gotten the full college experience while studying abroad in Italy a year prior. 

You had never done any of that, you still lived with your parents. You hadn’t even moved out for college because it was local and you could just commute. There were a lot of things you hadn’t done actually. You kept to yourself a lot and never really went to parties, you had never been drunk and honestly, you didn’t really understand what the point of it was. Can’t people just have fun without poisoning their bodies to have a good time? The idea of a romantic relationship wasn’t something you ruled out completely but you never specifically sought one out. There were occasional times when boys would give you their number or try and flirt with you, but you paid them no mind. 

Being well into college, and of age; when Kate discovered you had never been drunk before, it seemed like she made it her new mission in life to give you that experience. You’d had alcohol before to taste it, but never enough to really feel any of its effects. Before you knew it, you and a couple of friends were over at her house with enough alcohol to throw a party. Kate didn’t technically force you to drink, but you knew that was what she wanted. You may have acted like you didn’t want to, but deep down, a little part of you wanted to experience it too, especially with her there.

Another reason that you didn’t really drink much was that you hated the taste of alcohol. There are plenty of options that disguise the taste well, but you didn’t really know any better. Until Kate showed you, she taught you all her favorite ways to mix drinks and they actually tasted… good?

By the end of the night, it was only you left at Kate’s house with her boyfriend. 

“How are you feeling?” Kate asked you curiously 

“Oh, I feel great” you said smiling, feeling on top of the world, “my face is numb”

“What?”

“My face is numb” You repeated as you slapped yourself across the face without flinching, “See, I didn’t even feel that!”

“Y/N!” Kate couldn’t help but laugh

“What?”

“Don’t do tha-”

“Maybe we should uh” you say not finding the right words while walking toward her bathroom

The brunette picked up on your queue and followed close behind you.

You kneeled on the gray tile in front of the toilet waiting for your insides to come back up. It’s not exactly that you felt like you were going to puke, but you felt off and from everything you had learned about alcohol, it always led to vomiting so you assumed this was where you needed to be. 

Kate sat next to you rubbing your back and telling you that it was okay, as you settled on the floor. After nothing happened, you leaned your head against the white wall of her bathroom and closed your eyes. 

In your drunken, and nearly passed out state; Kate took this as an opportunity to take a photo, she was the type of person that loved to document everything with photographs. She always took videos and pictures of both you and Peter whenever you guys went on adventures, sometimes Peter would get fed up posing for the photographs, but you never did. 

“Come on, let’s get you in bed” Kate urged you as she propped you up and led you to her bed in the next room over.

As she laid you down on her mattress, Peter came walking in to prepare for bed. 

“Do you mind sleeping in the living room tonight, babe?”

“Oh, uh. Sure, yea of course” Peter replied as he walked back out the door he just came through to set up the futon

Kate followed behind him as she headed to the kitchen to pour two glasses of water. 

“Is she ok?” Peter asked from the living room

“Yeah, she’s just not used to feeling like this” Kate reassured him as she headed back to your side.

Noticing you were almost dozed off, she shook you gently, “y/n, sit up. Come on drink some water before you sleep” 

“I’m not thirsty” you refused, slurring your words

“It’ll help you feel better in the morning, believe me”

Trusting Kate’s judgment, you unsteadily sat against the headboard and drank the water as you were told.

“Do you have a headache?”

You shook your head in response as Kate placed 2 pills on your nightstand, “These are for the morning then.”

After making sure you were all set for the morning, Kate climbed into the bed next to you, and you laid down. After settling down, she lay on her side and stared at you for a few moments, “Give me your hand” she stated

“Why?” you responded trying not to seem too eager, knowing you would never deny Kate of anything.

“Just- give it,” she said grabbing your hand as you feigned a struggle. Once your hand was in hers, she lightly dragged the tips of her fingers along your palm and then up your inner forearm.

The motion caused a tingling sensation to run through your body, something you hadn’t felt before. Your arm slightly tickled but the tingles also brought a pleasure that made your heartbeat feel like it was about to explode from your chest.

“Does that feel good?” Kate asked as you closed your eyes relaxing into the feeling.

“Mhm,” you murmured

Kate was a big fan of this feeling, every night she would have Peter lightly scratch her skin in the same way to achieve the sensation. On nights that Peter wasn’t there or simply didn’t want to do it, she would ask you to do it. At first, you thought it was a little strange, maybe crossing a boundary. But Kate and Peter both assured you that they were ok with it, it was completely platonic. Eventually, every time you would come over she would simply lay her arm across your lap and you knew exactly what it meant. As time went on, the spots she asked you to tend to were hidden by clothing so she would adjust and move the material. Not only did you love making her feel good, but you loved the fact that she wanted you to. 

This was never something that you had been on the receiving end of, until now. You never expected her to reciprocate the motions because it didn’t matter to you if you got to feel good or not as long as she did. It was hard to tell whether the alcohol was enhancing the feeling or not, all you knew is the way her fingertips danced across your skin felt really fucking good. 

Kate focused on an area for a few minutes before moving to the next while you lay there frozen, afraid to move and have it all come to an abrupt halt. She could feel your body stiffening like a wooden plank and tried to get you to relax. 

“Y/N, relax” she softly spoke to you

“I am relaxed” you replied with your eyes pinned to one spot on the ceiling. 

“Look at me” she said as she placed a hand on your cheek and pulled your eye line into hers, “Relax” she gently said again looking straight into your eyes. 

“Ok, ok” you said trying to limpen your body. 

“Come here” Kate decided as she saw you struggle to unwind. She pulled you in close so that your head was leaning on her and using her chest as a pillow. While the position was certainly more comfortable, you could now hear every breath and beat of Kate’s heart. It’s all you could focus on for a few minutes. Soon enough though, it lulled you into a nice calm state until sleep eventually overtook you in her arms. 

At some point in the night, Stella, a friend at the party had spilled almost an entire bottle of black cherry hard lemonade on the living room carpet. Kate cleaned it up when it happened, but that included nothing more than soaking the wet liquid with a cloth to absorb the spill and then carrying on with her drunken night. Needless to say, it needed a good wash.

A couple of days go by until you find yourself back on Kate’s couch for the night. As you’re sitting there, you see something out of the corner of your eye so you look down to see an ant scurry across the wood to the rug on the floor. “Ahhh” crescendos out of your mouth as you instantly jolt your foot over to stomp out the critter. Kate giggles at your reaction as she goes on to say that she's seen a couple in that area, and then she remembers that a sugary liquid was spilled in the same spot the other night. She hops off the couch to get the cleaner and you both move the couch off of the rug. You offer to help Kate clean the rug, not because you wanted to clean particularly but because you felt like standing there and watching would be kind of rude. 

As you really got in there and started scrubbing, you noticed Kate backing away more and more as you did the physical work. Eventually, you scrubbed enough that the cleaner dissolved into the paper towel leaving a clean rug that the ants wouldn’t fancy for the sugar. 

Peter spent a lot of weekends traveling back to his Aunt's house to visit which meant Kate was alone for a few days. When they first decided to move upstate, Peter was initially against it. 

After losing his parents at such a young age, his Aunt felt like his rock. He wanted to stay in NYC while Kate finished her graduate degree. By this point though, Kate had already been studying abroad in Italy for 2 years and she missed having her high school sweetheart by her side daily. Ultimately putting her feelings above anyone else’s, she wasn’t sure how much longer their relationship would survive the distance. Eventually, Peter gave in and followed her upstate to support her dream. 

You spent each one of the weekends that Peter wasn't there by her side. She hated sleeping alone because she ended up having the worst nightmares; so each weekend he was gone, you slept at her house. Other times, Kate would travel with Peter to visit her parents as well; and, already having a key to their apartment, she would ask you to house-sit for the weekend. Kate also had a bunny, sometimes she would bring her along to NYC, but most of the time it was too much work and she relied on you to care for her while she was away. You loved the feeling of being needed and the fact that she relied on you for things. The fact that she trusted you to care for her pet while she was away meant a lot to you. She treated her pet like her child, you knew she wouldn’t let just anyone care for her. 

Within just a few months, Kate was promoted to supervisor alongside you. This wasn't surprising considering how easy she was to train. She was smart, thorough, and confident. This was both good and bad news. Of course, Kate deserved the promotion and the raise, but this also made it difficult for the two of you to schedule time off together. There were only a few supervisors in the store, and one had to be on duty at all times. 

After some bickering with management,  it all worked out and you were able to go on a couple of trips together. The three of you, including Peter, very much enjoyed the outdoors. Just like the winter; that summer, you spent nearly every weekend together. Instead of skiing and snowboarding like you had done in the wintertime, you spent the summer camping, kayaking, and even going on a week-long archery trip. 

The trip was a family tradition with Kate and her father. Peter had come a few times previously as well, but the fact that you were invited along was kind of a big deal. Then again, you both shared the same love for archery, it was a no-brainer to bring you along. 

During your stay, the 4 of you stayed in a log cabin that you had rented out just a mile or so down the road from the event property. After many years of doing this, Kate and her father had wrung every kink out of the planning process and knew all the best ways to get the most out of the excursion. The cabin had its own balcony and screened-in porch that oversaw a large lake, and right behind it was a dock with plenty of boats that were available to guests at the resort. 

Kate and her father loved to fish, so a few days out of the week the 4 of you got up early and went out on a boat to catch feeding time. On other days, you went out as the sun was setting. You seemed to have more luck at this time of the day. 

The archery event was a lot of fun, for you and Kate anyway. Peter was bored most of the time and just wanted to go home, half the time he would sneak off to facetime his friends. The event showcased all the new bows that were releasing on the market in the coming fall, it had demo areas, challenging courses, and scheduled classes. Every day you were able to try something new. 

You and Kate were like kids in a candy store, eager to try out each new bow a salesman had to offer. The coolest thing you found was that they were able to create the world's lightest compound bow by creating an alloy of magnesium and vibranium. It felt even lighter than your longbow with the added power of the compound bow. Kate was surprised by it too but she had never been a fan of compound bows; instead, her favorite part of the showcase was a recurve bow. With a recurve bow, she was able to keep her accuracy and gain even more power than a compound bow. Some may disagree, but there is no swaying Kate on this matter. In some ways, she was the most stubborn person you knew. To be fair, she was right most of the time so her stubbornness was rarely in vain. 

What made this specific recurve bow neat was the fact that it was completely 3D Printed. She didn’t fully trust its functionality and strength but it was really neat to see that it had been done and could even be used without breaking. In fact, the salesman put the bow through countless stress tests and it didn’t even waver one bit. The problem with these tests though, is they know how to rig it so that it looks impressive, without actually showing any of the real flaws. Still though, you both stood there impressed. 

There was a buzz going around that Stark Industries would be announcing a bow on the last day of the event in a huge presentation that could change the bow industry forever. While you doubted the impact would be as crazy as they made it sound, you knew Stark Industries had a reputation for creating groundbreaking technology so you were very excited to see what they had in store. 

The whole week was a blast, each day after the event you would either come back to the cabin and go fishing or the 4 of you would play a board game to end off the evening. Sleeping arrangements were definitely complicated. Since there were only two bedrooms, it had been decided early on in the planning process that Peter would share sleeping quarters with Kate’s father and you would share a room with Kate. This way, it’s boys and girls and you’re not forced to sleep with a grown man that you just met. The first couple of nights went to plan, but Peter was getting irritable with the ungodly noises falling from the older man’s face during the night. Halfway through the week, Peter came in to ask if one of you would switch with him. When both of your answers resulted in a headshake, he climbed into the full-size bed with the two of you. 

“We’re a throuple” Kate stated

“Sure” you uttered in slight annoyance. Kate loved referring to the three of you as a throuple even though that wasn't completely accurate. Maybe deep down that's what she wanted, but you're nothing more than friends. Best friends. 

To say you were squished would be an understatement, Kate resided in the middle with you on the outer edge and Peter against the wall. You’d be lying if you said having Kate squished into you all night wasn’t something you enjoyed, but you enjoyed the alone time shared with her even more. The nights before Peter joined were filled with scratches and deep talks until one of you fell asleep. 

By the end of the week, you were dreading having to leave. It had been so nice spending the entirety of each day with your best friend, and knowing she would essentially be stuck there with you the next day was… reassuring. Not that Kate needed to be forced to see you. To you, as long as you’re with Kate it didn’t matter what you were doing you were just happy to be doing it with her. Of course, when you leave this retreat, you’d still see each other, but how could you know for sure? She could just up and leave whenever she finally gets bored of you. The reality of that fact clouded your mind every day. 

You’re not sure where the initial anxiety came from, maybe the fact that anyone you had made a good connection with always ended up slowly disappearing. Someone who you would spend hours talking to every day became nothing more than a person from the past. Slowly watching as their name in your inbox drifted out of sight. Or it could’ve been the fact that Kate would always talk about your friendship dissolving one day.

The fact is, most of the people we meet during our 20s are only temporary. Knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less when they leave though. In fact, maybe it's even more painful because, throughout all the good times, you're just awaiting the day when you become strangers. After the cycle repeats itself a couple of times, you can’t help but think there is something wrong with you. The people you make the closest connections with never want to stay. Maybe you get too attached to people too quickly. But then you think, how could you? You always have your guard up, it isn’t until they show attachment towards you that you even begin to let them in. Maybe that's the problem, maybe they only like the shell of yourself that you show the world and not the one that actually cares for people. 

“Y/N” Kate yells into the cabin from the porch, jolting you out of your spiraling thoughts. 

“Yea?” You shout back as you make your way toward the door

“Come on! I want to get a good seat for the Stark event” she says as you open the door. 

You must’ve gotten to the event just in time because, even though there was already a line, it hadn’t really started to form until about 5 minutes after you two hopped in the queue. Looking back, there must’ve been 50 people behind you already.

About a half hour later, coordinators began ushering people through the entrance of the theatre. The auditorium was all decked out in Stark Industry’s logos on big screens to the side of the stage. Other than that it was well-lit so that you could all find seating. 

“What do you think it’s going to be?” you whisper to Kate, trying not to be too much of a disturbance. 

“I don’t know” she hissed, making it seem like it should be obvious that she wouldn’t know what the announcement could be. But, you weren’t expecting her to know. You were just excited and  wanted to pick her brain about what it might be, is that so bad? Maybe you should know better, if Kate doesn’t know what something is, she���s not going to make a fool out of herself and guess incorrectly. Either way, you decided it was best to keep to yourself until the presentation began. 

As the presentation began, the lights in the theatre dimmed to make way for stage lights. The red and gold lighting set up a spectacular entrance by the one and only, Tony Stark. In the most charismatic way, this man explained a new bow tech that Stark Industries has been innovating. With the use of their new nano-tech, they have created the perfect bow. Or at least, that’s what they claim. The device transforms in a way that allows the user to store the bow in places like their pocket, or even around their wrist for easy transport. Unlike collapsable bows; once fully formed, this bow has no weak spots. The nanites temporarily weld to each other to make one solid object during use. 

The exposition was filled with mind-blowing demonstrations. Tony sure knows how to present a product to the masses. You and Kate were so awe-struck and excited by the demo that you had trouble getting to sleep that night. The unobtainable price tag didn't stop your minds from racing at all the new possibilities. 

[i-am-the-balancing-point]

beb, your fic about jacob sucking in bed when??? am looking forward like a little gremlin

omg I am literally ferociously in love with you! I will definitely get back on that. for now, have some wip of my deputy experiencing mediocre seed dick for the very first time that I’ve been shrimping over most recently ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

She had curled up in “her” cage on a frayed piece of blue tarp, head down, arms wrapped under her knees around her legs, pulled in close to the body. Her spine ached. Visuals of the most recent trial still flashed through her mind.

Train. Hunt. Kill. Sacrifice.

Excellent.

More.

Train. Hunt. Kill. Sacrifice.

Train. Hunt. Kill. Sacrifice.

Faster.

Train. Hunt. Kill. Sacrifice.

Kill.

Kill.

Kill.

Perfect.

The sound of heavy boots seemed to be approaching. Was this early for a guard change? Gigi didn’t care.

Kill.

Kill.

Kill.

The dull thuds passed her cage, followed by the soft rhythmic taps of several pairs of paws. A metal gate creaked.

Train. Hunt. Kill.

Well done.

Train. Hunt.

Yelp.

The deputy was yanked up to her feet by the nape of the neck. Arms thrashing about erratically.

“Fucking–” Now a dog yelped right next to her. “Leave me!” She gasped for air, desperately trying, but failing, to land any punches.

“Hush, Deputy.” It was a familiar voice who gave that command. “And you, leave it!”, Jacob snarled at a Judge nervously treading on the spot right next to them, clearly upset at Gigi trying to defend herself against its owner.

“Fuck you!”

“Uh uh uh”, Jacob rebuked, letting go of her scruff to instead catch her wrist, painfully bending her arms behind her back. Her legs almost gave out under her own weight. She stared at his face, eyes burning with anger, which he conveniently ignored to instead produce a large pair of zip ties that he used to bind her hands together.

For a second her world went dark again. Not another round of drugs. Please, no. She was yanked to her feet once more, this time thankfully by a large hand firmly holding onto her upper arm. Gigi felt her blood leaving her face, her lips getting cold. Her blood pressure had tanked.

“Don’t you give out on me now. The weak have their purpose too but I did not think you were one of them.”

Fuck you. Stop taunting me, this is your fault. She just snorted disparagingly.

Her vision was still a little fuzzy at the edges from the previous dose of Bliss but it had worn off enough for her to be able to see, mostly, clearly. Jacob had not only brought one but two Judges into the cage with him and in addition to that Staci, who was standing outside the grimy metal bars, head lowered but surreptitiously sneaking fearful glances in their direction periodically.

Jacob half led, half dragged her out of the prisoner complex, his pets, the dogs and Staci, obediently following into the Veterans Center building and up several flights of stairs. It took her everything to not stumble and fall. The least she could need right now was to break her fucking neck and knock a few teeth out on the way right in the enemy’s nest. She feverishly tried to memorize any bits and pieces of the place’s layout but nothing would stick in her mangled mind.

Leaving the stairs on the top floor they steadily approach a white double door with a guard posted in front of it. He seemed amused at the sight of the notorious Junior Deputy in such an unfavorable position but thankfully did not comment on her situation, nodding instead at Jacob and greeting him. He returned the nod and opened the door, commanding Staci to wait outside.

She hated how he called him Peaches but what she hated even more was how Staci would not even react to the belittlement. Sure, she had only gotten to know the other Junior Deputies rather briefly before they had been torn apart but Staci Pratt had been cocky and prideful from the first time they had exchanged words. He liked to show off, was a bit of a poser – of course, pretty-boy-Pratt had to be – but he seemed to have been capable of his job just fine. At least as much as she could tell before shit had hit the fan.

She would have lingered more on wondering what Jacob had done to him to change his demeanor so drastically, had she not have been way more concerned with what he would be about to do to her, now that they were alone and it made her stomach turn. They now stood in what she assumed was Jacob’s office. It was a rather large room with four desks pushed together to assemble a mega-desk, lots of screens, radio equipment, and heaps of paper scattered all over, topped off with a garnish of a few lose bullets, overflowing ashtrays and some plates with the last remainders of long-gone meals stuck to them. The unmistakable smell of stale, cold smoke hung over the scene. Both Judges immediately assumed their positions, guarding the door through which they had just entered and another one of the similar dimensions, which seemed to lead outside onto a deck or balcony opposing them…

Jacob pushed her into the center of the room right in front of the huge desk and spun her around to face him. It suddenly struck her that they had never been together without any restraints between them and while he had always been the one to dominate these situations anyway, the set-up right now frightened her more than anything else had so far. The Deputy and the soldier eye to eye.

With a slight chuckle, he commanded “Down. On your knees”.

“Sure.” Gigi tried to give him the very best of her sass. However, in this very moment, it was not a lot.

Maintaining eye contact Jacob reached down and grabbed the back of her knee, sweeping her off her feet. His movements were quick and precise, methodical almost, like a mountain lion finally charging its prey after stanking it for miles. She hit the tiled floor, failing to dampen the fall with her tied hands. Her body and her pride – they hurt.

“I said on. Your. Knees.” he growled, making sure to pronounce every syllable, anchoring a hand in the dull tangled mess that was her hair, pulling her upright once more to have her rest her on her knees just as he had asked. The burning sensation on her scalp made tears shoot to her eyes.

For fucks sake, what was it gonna be..? At this point, she was really not keen on having to fight back, uncertain whether her mangled body would even allow for it.

“Jacob”, she croaked but her voice broke off. In an expression of almost pleasant surprise, he raised a copper eyebrow. He did not let go of her hair but he did reach behind him, pulling a flask from his belt.

No more Bliss shit. Please!

Like last time, he unscrewed the cap and touched the opening to her lips. It did not smell of Bliss. In fact, it did not smell of anything at all. He tipped it and her head back at the same time and she hastily gulped it down as if she had wandered the desert without water for seven days. This time she did not accidentally cough it up again and she finished the entire drink in merely a few swings. Maintaining some weariness she quietly thanked him as he screwed the cap back on and set the flask aside.

“See, Deputy, obedience usually pays off.”

She directed her gaze down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Gigi was way too tired and weak for whatever mind games he wanted to play this time around. Her back still hurt, her arm ached where he had grabbed her and the zip ties painfully cut into her wrists. Mindlessly giving in and just letting him take control was so tempting in that moment. It could be easy. But she had to be strong.

“You belong to me. You’re mine, Deputy. You and I, both know that.”

Fuck, if anyone of the resistance could have seen her now… They’d sure be disgusted by her. She should have fought back, bite his thigh, headbutt him in the groin. Anything! But she did not have it in her. Apart from that, she was much smaller and lighter anyway. She barely reached up to his shoulder.

“Because I’m weak? Is it that? Am I yours because I’m weak?”

Another rumbling chuckle.

“No, pup, because you are strong. When I saw you for the first time I thought, you were weak like Peaches, who hid behind you like some toddler. Just another coward, drawn to law enforcement by the promise of power. Now, look at you acing the trials! Your ferocity was a pleasant surprise. I could get used to keeping you around.”

Please don't make me your second Peaches. I just want to go.

Jacob closed the digits of his left hand around her chin, the tips of his right index and middle finger barely brushing over her lips.

“Open wide, Deputy.”

Gigi complied. It was easier and less painful than whatever he had planned for her in case she disobeyed.

“Good girl.”

He shoved both fingers in her mouth. They spread the metallic taste of dried blood mixed with grime on her tongue as he dragged them over it.

“Suck.”

Fuck.

”Good.”

This was hot.

No, no, no. This can’t be hot!

She closed her eyes in shame while Jacob slowly pushed his fingers in and out of her mouth. Meanwhile, an army of conflicting emotions was fighting a raging war inside of her.

You and your piece-of-shit oral fixation, Gigi.

Her knees hurt.

I just want to go.

The comfort of having something warm in her mouth to take her mind off things and not being actively hurt in this situation was a welcome change to anything else the soldier had done to her in the past weeks. Yet, she did not want to give him the satisfaction of displaying any positive reactions to his actions.

It’s good though.

Isn’t it?

With a soft pop, Jacob removed his digits from her mouth, a glistening string of saliva briefly keeping them connected. She forced herself to look up at him again but he was already busy fumbling with his belt instead of returning her gaze.

You gotta run now or you’re gonna have Jacob Seed shove something other than his dirty hillbilly fingers in your cakehole.

He did not waste any time undoing his pants, revealing he was already hard.

Do you really want this?

Kind of?

He pumped his hand up and down his shaft a couple of times before pushing his cock past her lips. He was big but she could take him.

“Perfect. Keep going.”

Good. Perfect. Excellent. More.

Taking on a steady rhythm he began thrusting, cradling the back of her head for support. Thoughts were trickling from her mind as if someone had opened a drain to her brain. A sensation she had recently only ever felt on Bliss. – Had she just moaned?

Yes. Whatever.

“Pup, you’re showing qualities I had only ever suspected.”

The praise reverberated through her but she was way too satisfied with her current occupation to pay much thought to any implications behind the words or their meaning.

Jacob almost broke her trance by pulling back and drawing his knife. She did not register it as a threat, despite him raising it to her face, even though she should have known much better. Instead, Gigi stuck out her tongue and let him drag the flat side over it. Even the taste of more dried blood did not manage to fully snap her out of it. It just felt too good to give up control right now, to not have to think.

She was pulled up, him reaching the knife behind her and cutting the ties she had been bound with.

Run. Run. Fight.

But she did not want to, fixated entirely on the tall man in front of her.

You’re a Junior Deputy to the Sheriff.

I just want to be Gigi right now.

Spun around again, Jacob walked her over to the metal-frame bed on their left. The mattress was bare and stained and did not offer more than a dusty woolen blanket and a crumpled up pillow. Still, she did not care. He bent her over and she let her knees drop onto the covers. While he went for the button on her pants and undid it. She could feel his erection rubbing on her ass and the thought of it sent a soft shiver down her spine. Without even intending to, she let out a content sigh and he responded with another “Good girl” as he pulled her pants and panties down to her knees, pinning both her wrists down behind her back with one of his strong hands, using his other to line himself up with her.

“Hm, you’re so wet, pup. So eager to please!”

He wasted no more time entering her, thrusting with the same steady rhythm from before. This gave her no time to adjust. It was somewhat painful and yet she enjoyed his warmth, the stretch and feeling filled by his cock.

In any other scenario, she’d have worried about fetching a condom, having showered before, having groomed, maybe putting on some music or pulling the curtains closed, creating some ambient lighting, the dogs still being in the room, somebody potentially hearing them, especially Staci… The only thing she was concerned with at the moment was getting fucked and fucking like an animal, just fulfilling some primal need for physical connection.

The continuous sound of skin hitting skin at an increasing pace, mixed with moans both from Jacob and Gigi, his drowning hers out by a few more decibels, filled the air. He definitely smelled musky, of sweat, dogs, the outside, gunpowder, and abundance of other things, too many to each identify, but in the heat of the moment, she found it enticing.

With an exceptionally rumbly groan Jacob moved one hand from her waist to grab the front of her shirt, tearing it down together with her bra. He palmed at her now exposed breast and his hips began to stutter. As he came inside of her, he pulled her torso to be flush with his, ghosting his other hand over her throat and keeping her in a headlock but not applying any pressure. Being held by such strong arms, his body covering hers – was the ultimate comfort in that moment for Gigi.

He used an arm to lean on the wall in front of them and let them both down on the bed to lay on their sides, still entangled. Breathing heavily, he wrapped his arms around her, absentmindedly playing with one of her nipples.

They remained in this position for a while and as she felt some cum gently trickling out of her she slowly seemed to come to her senses again.

This wasn't good.

She did not just have sex with the enemy.

…or did she?

Oh god.

A more objective look at the situation started to spread out in her mind. She was lying half-naked under Jacob Seed, someone who had tried to kill her and succeeded in that with many others in the past, the man who had tortured her, her coworkers, her friends, the brother of the person she had been supposed to arrest. She was his prisoner, for fuck’s sake! She had not only been stupid enough to submit to him but allowed him to rawdog her on top of that. She had known better, yet she did not act on that knowledge.

Fuck.

Apparently having caught his breath again, Jacob pulled out and moved off of her, standing up to tuck himself back in and zipping up his jeans. i

[cherrygyusworld]

[12:58 am] (m.l)

cherrygyusworld

please don’t copy or rewrite/post as your own. none of the following images are mine; copyright goes to owner! if you’d like to take this idea and use it, that’s fine, but I’d ask that you don’t make the scenario exactly the same and use a different layout. enjoy!

summary | mark calls you one night after the breakup, hoping to say the words he’d never been able to express before. 

category | angst

warnings | none

word count | 585

pairing | mark x fem reader

Mark fumbled with the phone in his hands, tossing and turning in his sleep. In the other room, he could hear his other band members snoring, but he just couldn't seem to get any rest tonight. He was tired, relaxed, and ready to go to bed, but for some reason, sleep just wouldn't come to get him.

Being the overthinker he was, he couldn't help but start regretting the decision to break up. He didn't even know why those words came out of his mouth one day. He didn't even know why he came home and just felt exhausted with you. He didn't even know how he would say such a heartbreaking thing to you. He didn't even know why he claimed to have fallen out of love with you.

Nobody said it out loud, but Mark always knew what they were thinking. They thought he was stupid for letting you go. And Mark couldn't help but agree. Every night since those few weeks ago, he'd fallen asleep with his phone in his hands; tempted to call you but too cowardly to press the button. He knew you hated him, and he didn't think he could bear hearing the venom in your voice.

But for some reason, his hands slowly searched through his contacts again. The route was so familiar that he could probably call you with his eyes closed. He stared at your contact picture; your bright eyes, silky hair, beautiful smile. And his thumb propelled itself towards the call button. He shut his eyes closed as tight as he could when the ringing started.

You picked up after exactly four rings. Mark braced himself for the screaming to begin, calling him a jerk, but that never came.

"Hey," you said. Mark's heart fluttered at your voice. There was no hatred, no accusations, no poison in your voice. Instead, you sounded worried, slightly breathless.

"Mark?" You called again, and this time, a tear crept out from his eye after hearing his name from your lips again. He opened his mouth to say something, but only a silent cry came out.

He could almost feel you looking at the phone screen in confusion. "M-Mark? Are you okay?"

He shook his head, begging you to hear him through the screen. No, I'm not okay. I need you. Please come back.

After moments of silence, a quiet sigh came from the other side of the phone. "Hey, I'm always here if you need me. I don't know why you called. Maybe it was accidental. But I'm just a phone call away."

Mark wanted to say everything. I'm sorry. I never meant to say any of those words, and these past few weeks have been the hardest of my entire life. I miss you so much. Please come back. But whenever he tried to open his mouth, fear of losing you again, hatred for himself, and the cowardly instinct crept up to his heart and stopped him from speaking.

There was silence for another several seconds, and the line went dead. Mark could feel his heart shattering once again, and this time, he could finally let out an audible cry. The first tear he'd let out since the breakup.

"I'm sorry. Please come back."

Little did he know, on the other side of the country, you sat in your bed, staring at your phone screen silently. You were shaking and sobbing, tempted to press the call button again. But you just couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Mark. Please come back."

[kaeyasaki]

📹 — :; “face-to-face” GQ interview

-> inspired by the “face-to-face, A$AP rocky answers 18 from rihanna | GQ interview”, except i make the questions a little more personal because i don’t think anyone cares what gojo’s ‘fav curse word is’

-> ft :; gojo satoru

-> interview writing layout heavily inspired by @rintaroll

y/n: hey GQ! i’m here to do face-to-face with my co worker, gojo!

gojo: coworker? is that all i am to you?

y/n: be grateful i even acknowledged you.

gojo: you wound me.

y/n: yet you’re still smiling.

gojo flashes a playful frown to the camera as y/n roll their eyes before pulling out a stack on cards.

y/n: so first question, what’s the hardest part about working with me?

gojo: everything.

y/n: i’m serious.

gojo: and so am i, you make it hard for me to work with you because we never get anything done.

y/n: don’t make it sound like it’s my fault! we never get anything done because you get too distracted and drag me into it!

gojo: maybe you should discipline me more...

he teases and sends you a wink to which you dismiss quickly.

y/n: you’re a grown man, you shouldn’t need me to discipline you.

gojo: what if i want you to?

y/n: would you just answer the question seriously or i’ll really start to think you don’t think we work well together!

gojo: okay, i was kidding... you’re actually a pretty good teammate when we’re sent on missions together, i have fun with you... maybe a little too much fun...

y/n: don’t give them the wrong idea we’re nothing like that!

you cringe at him as he laughs before the camera cuts moving onto the next question

y/n: okay, second question, answer seriously from now on, got it?

gojo: anything for you~

y/n: you disgust me... anyway, how well would you say you take care of yourself?

gojo: you mean like... self care wise?

y/n: yeah, like self care!

gojo: hmm well, i’d say i take care of myself pretty well, after all, pampered men are attractive men right?

y/n: i mean sure, i think it’s attractive when a man takes care of himself but if that mans you... maybe not so much.

gojo: you don’t mean that! you must be somewhat attracted to me.

y/n: can’t say i am no.

gojo: lying is a sin you know.

y/n: you’re totally straying away from my initial question.

you groan and face the camera and gojo tilts his head and laughs.

gojo: sorry, well, i’d say i clearly look after myself very well which should be to your liking.

y/n: you’ll never be to my liking, but it’s nice to hear you take care of yourself well and that you’re not just an annoying man, but rather an annoying but hygienic man.

gojo: you’re so horrible to m-

the camera cuts as you start laughing and gojo starts whining.

y/n: we’re getting through these quickly now let’s keep it that way.

gojo: you know, we’d be half done by now if you stopped insulting me every chance you get.

y/n: i’m the quizzer, you’re the answerer, you answer when spoken to.

gojo turns to face the grinning camera crew behind the cameras on set.

gojo: now do you see what i have to put up with! i’m a victim i’m telling you!

camera man: no no, keep it up, you guys have nice chemistry

y/n: chemistry? not to be rude but you must’ve failed science, the only clear dialogue between us is practically conversation between an adult and child.

the camera crew laugh and gojo feigns offence before you clear your throat and look at the next card.

y/n: anyways, when was the first time you were majorly recognised as ‘famous’?

gojo: ah, a long time ago i need to think, give me a sec.

you pretend to yawn as gojo thinks about his answer before smiling at you.

gojo: my second year i think. that’s when i really started getting noticed for my talent.

y/n: practically a star since birth i see, how do you do it?

gojo laughs at your sarcasm as you grin back, evenly matched banter between the two of you flowing on set.

gojo: i’m handsome and gifted, i was made for this kinda life, it all comes naturally to me.

y/n: you know what doesn’t come naturally to you though?

gojo: hm?

y/n: that dress sense.

gojo: what’s wrong with my outfit?

y/n: bland, basic, and the way you chose itadori’s uniform was just straight up ugly!

gojo: he liked it!

y/n: the poor boy probably didn’t have the heart to express his disgust to your face.

gojo: well, until he does i’m gonna believe he likes it and my dress sense is more than up to standard.

y/n: if that’s what helps you sleep at night i guess...

the camera cuts with the two of you playfully bickering with each other, any previous speculation of hostility now gone as it’s clear for watchers to see just how your dynamic together works.

y/n: question four! what’s the first thing you notice in a person?

gojo: in general or when analysing to an extent?

y/n: in generals fine.

gojo: hm i would say looks, but i don’t wanna look too shallow on camera.

y/n: they would’ve just recorded you saying that. don’t be shocked if you’re trending on twitter later for it.

gojo: it’s fine, as long as i’m trending who cares what it’s about.

y/n: i can see the headlines already... ‘gojo satoru, top sorcerer, favoured teacher at jujutsu high and big narcissist’

you smile smugly at the man as he laughs along with you with the camera crew from behind.

gojo: yeah yeah whatever you say, but if i had to answer honestly, i’d say what energy they give off. i don’t let it bother me too much, but i’d say i’m pretty good at judging what someone’s like based off of what energy they’re giving out.

y/n: i’m shocked, that’s a pretty good answer... for you anyway.

gojo: i try my best for you.

y/n: mhm sure, keep that attitude next time we’re working together and maybe we’ll finish jobs quicker.

gojo snickers and smiles gently at you, his direction is no longer faced towards the camera, but rather solely directed at you as you clear your throat.

y/n: yeah anyway, good answer. that might just get you uncancelled.

gojo: i haven’t even been cancelled yet don’t speak it into existence!

y/n: i’ll ‘try my best for you’

you’re both smiling softly at each other after you mock one of gojo’s previous replies, there’s no speech cut off as a comfortable silence rests for a moment as the scene cuts.

y/n: okay, i want genuine answers only.

gojo: that’s what i’ve been giving you from the start!

you jokingly narrow your eyes at him before looking down at the next card.

y/n: well okay then, so, what was the first thing you noticed about me when we first met?

gojo: unusually bold question from you.

y/n: just shut up and answer, i was recommended to ask this.

gojo: sure, sure.

y/n: would you please just answer so we can get this over with?

gojo sighs dramatically and sits up properly and nods.

gojo: naturally, for anyone else i would say energy but for you, ah, i think it was your pretty face.

y/n: shut up, i said genuine answers only.

gojo: i am being genuine! aren’t i allowed to call you pretty?

y/n: you aren’t allowed to answer falsely, serious answers please.

gojo: you make me sound like i’m down bad, honestly, you’re very attractive to me, your energy was just a bonus, i’m serious, stop doubting yourself so much.

he smiles your way, not playfully nor forced, it’s a soft and genuine smile to calm your nerves, it’s a sign of truthfulness on his end. before you answer he clears his throat, slight hurry in his voice.

gojo: -of course, we were younger back then, since then you’ve gotten wrinkles and is that a few grey hairs i see? you also slouch-

y/n: -okay okay you can stop!

the two of you laugh as you gently kick his chair, the fact you’re being recorded and being watched by a whole camera crew totally forgotten about.

y/n: okay, last question finally!

gojo: admit you had fun with me.

y/n: i see you everyday, today was nothing special.

gojo: you wouldn’t say we’ve bonded more over this interview?

y/n: you’re still as irritating as before this interview so no.

you grin and gojo scoffs before shuffling in his chair a little before a sly smile draws across his face.

gojo: go on then, last question.

y/n: would you sl-

gojo: go on, ask it, we’re waiting.

gojo is leaning on the palm of his hand, teasing smile playing on his lips and y/n stares at the card in disbelief.

y/n: you definitely wrote this! i would never ask this! there’s been a mistake with the cards or something

camera man: ah no, they’re all the questions that were on your form you sent in prior to the interview, these are the questions you apparently wanted to be asked. sorry, you’ll have to make do.

y/n: i’m not asking that.

gojo: come on now, don’t upset your supportive fans.

y/n: i know you wrote this, you’re so infuriating!

you glare at him but not with complete hostility, the situation slightly humorous to you despite your protests.

gojo: i mean well.

gojo shrugs as you sigh and stare at the card before speaking.

y/n: fine then have it your way. would you... would you sleep with me?

gojo: how brave! asking me on camera in the middle of an interview! how could i dare say no!

gojo is laughing along with the camera crew as you fight back a smile, refusing to admit his interference was entertaining.

y/n: at least take me out for dinner first.

gojo: now you’re asking me to take you out? you’re really bold today aren’t you!

y/n: oh shut up! i didn’t mean it like that! this is totally your fault it’s awkward now.

you’re grinning at this point not caring that your flirtatious banter with gojo is being recorded and is soon to be edited and posted for the world to see.

gojo: i mean, i’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you?

y/n: what? no, i- this wasn’t even a serious question shut up!

gojo: i’ll shut up if you let me take you out... and maybe then i’ll sleep with you after if that’s your request.

y/n: i can’t stand you!

gojo: but you do everyday, that must count for something right?

y/n: i hate you.

gojo: quite the contrary, i’m sure i’ll get you to admit that by tomorrow though.

y/n: ...i’ll be waiting on it then.

the two of you are smiling at each other, laughter dying down as you once again softly kick gojo’s chair. he pays no mind to it as a moment of fondness occurs, viewers clearly able to see the evident bond between the two of you.

y/n: okay well... that concludes our face-to-face, GQ interview, thanks for watching and putting up with him!

gojo: maybe we’ll come back to do an interview about our date after i take you out, who knows, maybe i’ll get to ask you to rate me in bed!

y/n: gross. you sound like a fifteen year old boy.

gojo: am i at least a hot one?

y/n: i refuse to catch a case.

gojo cackles as you laugh too, the camera fades out with the scene of the two of you softly smiling at each other as the interview concludes.

[dreaming-about-fanfictions]

Draco Malfoy Doesn’t Share II D.M x Reader HC

Requested by: a lovely anon. “Jealous Draco sex. That’s it. That’s the post.” - I hope you like it!

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader, 7th year, no voldy au Words: 983 Warnings: smut, jealousy

Draco Malfoy doesn’t share.

He doesn’t share his food, his notes, and least of all - his girlfriend.

So when he sees Blaise’s arm wrapped around your waist and the way you throw your head back in laughter as he whispers something in your ear - his blood boils. Everybody knows about Blaise’s reputation - he is and always has been a huge flirt - and the closeness of his lips to your skin in this exact moment is a little too much for Draco.

He walks across the common room, dodging the sweaty bodies of other students who move to the rythm of the music, drinks with questionable liquids in their hands, and grabs you by your wrist.

You squeal in surprise as he whirls you around. “Draco!” You giggle when you land against his chest, your eyes glistening. “What is it?”

Draco keeps his gaze on Blaise who rolls his eyes and mouths: “What?!” If looks could kill, Blaise would have been dead by now.

You raise a hand to his cheek, force him to look at you and ask again. Draco only whispers into your ear, something about leaving the party. A shiver runs down your spine and a knowing smirk appears on your lips. Before you know it, you are on the way to his dorm.

He pulls you into a kiss, deep and angry, and closes the door behind you with his foot. It falls shut and he presses you up against it. You lose yourself in the kiss when his hands get to work.

They are quick. In mere seconds, the buttons from your blouse spring open and his hands cup your breath. You moan against his lips as you clumsily try to get him out of his own shirt.

“Someone’s eager,” you whisper teasingly when his hands explore your body, causing the hair on your arms and neck to stand up.

“Someone needs to be reminded who they belong to,” Draco growls.

Oh, you think, so this is what it’s all about. “You’re jealous.”

“Damn right, I am.” And with that, his fingers push past your underwear and sink inside of you. A gasp escapes your lips, you throw your head back and your eyes close. “I hated seeing Zabini look at you like that.” His fingers work tirelessly, pushing in and out of you, while his thumb circled your clit. Your only reply is another moan. 

“I hated seeing his hands on you.”

A knot forms in your lower stomach.

“You’re mine,” he hisses and you see stars in front of your eyes.

“Fuck, Draco, I’m so close,” you whimper as you hold on to him desperately.

“You wanna come?”, he asks. You feel his hot breath against your cheek. “You wanna come all over my hand, darling?”

“Yes, please,” you beg, “please, I want-”

“Then tell me who you belong to,” he hisses. Each syllable is accentuated by a thrust of his hand. “Say it!”

“You!”, you almost scream. You feel your orgasm approaching, every movement brings you closer to the edge. “You, Draco, I’m yours, I’m only yours.”

“Good,” he groans and then - he stops.

Your eyes flutter open and you stare at his devilish smirk. “Wha-” His eyes darken. “You’re not allowed to come just yet.” With a swift movement he pulls you to the bed and pushes you onto it. “On your knees, slut.”

You gasp but follow his orders. Draco positions himself behind you and without warning - pushes inside of you. He moans and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. Your hands grab the sheets tightly as your walls stretch around his cock in almost painful manner. “Fuck,” you curse.

He gives you no time to get used to the feeling - long, hard thrusts are what you get from him instead. Each one causing moans and whimpers to fall from your lips. “Shit, you’re so tight,” you hear him behind you and his fingers dig into the skin of your hips. You arch your back and the sound of his moans resonates within you.

He fucks you right the way you want - need - it. Every thrust pushing you closer towards the edge and when he reaches for your clit, fingers circling it, your vision begins to blur. You beg for him not to stop. Over and over do you tell him that you’re his, only his, and you feel the orgasm approaching again. Only a little while lo-

Abruptly, Draco pulls out of you.

You shriek and whirl around to face him. “What the fuck?”. He kneels behind you, his cock still throbbing and wet, the same smirk from before on his lips. “What the fuck, Draco?”

Slowly, your boyfriend gets up from the bed. He reaches for his clothes and begins to put them on. “I think that’s enough for now,” he says nonchalantly.

You stare at him in bewilderment. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going back to the party.” He shrugs and buttons up his shirt.

“What?” You can still see his hard-on through the fabric of his pants. “Come back to bed and finish what you started.”

He chuckles darkly. “No, darling, that’s not how it’s works.” He walks around the bed and sits down beside you. When he leans down to kiss you, it’s sweet and entirely unfulfilling. “You’re coming with me now. We’re going back to the party and if you behave, I might be inclined to ... finish what I started later.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not-”

“Shh,” he puts a finger to your lips and you can taste yourself on it, “I said, if you behave. That’s not behaving. If you want me to fuck you senseless tonight, I’d advise you to listen to me.”

You stare at him. “I hate you.” He smirks and pulls you into another kiss.

Draco Malfoy doesn’t share.

***

A/N: I hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated <3

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[oikawaplssteponme]

locked lips

pairing: Pro Hero! Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI [please im literally begging you], swearing, legal consumption of alcohol, slight praise, fingering, use of the name ‘baby’, deku being a little bit of a cocky jerk, unprotected intercourse, make-up sex

genre: ex’s to lovers, smut, aged up characters, fluff/angst (?)

word count: ~2.2k words

synopsis: You broke up with him on impulse. That doesn’t mean you stopped loving him. Now you’re back at his place, at a party you planned, with him looking just so desirable. What else were you to do?

a/n: hi hi! alright friends, this being my first nsfw post i cannot stress enough how important it is that minors don’t interact. if i catch any minors interacting with this post, ill delete this post and block them, which i obviously don’t want to have to do. just please respect these rules :)) anyway, reblogs are greatly appreciated and enjoy xx

You scrolled through your phone, mindlessly. You tried your best not to double tap on any of the pictures on your screen. The last thing you needed was for him to know you were stalking his page.

“You should start getting ready,” said Uraraka. You looked over at her, cocking a brow.

“Uh I'm not going?” you huffed. Uraraka sat down beside you.

“Don’t be like that Y/N. You still have to go tonight, regardless of Deku.”

“The party is at Deku’s house. I’d look like a total idiot showing my face there after we broke up.”

You sat up and crossed your arms. Ochaco sighed. She grabbed your shoulders.

“Y/N, you are gonna go to the party and make Deku regret his entire life. Anyway, I’m bringing you as my plus one, so you have to come!”

You sighed. “Fine, but I’m staying with you the whole night.”

Ochaco smiled and gave you a quick hug. She got up and began scanning through her closet again.

You had been staying with Uraraka since you and Izuku had broken up. It was a blow out fight. You yelled at him for caring about work more than you. He shouted at you for not being understanding of his career. The words you meant mixed with the words you didn’t, and chaos erupted between you and him. So, you packed a bag and left. You didn’t want to, but you were done.

While you and Deku were still together, you helped him plan an event for him and his fellow Pro Heroes, as an opportunity for them all to get together. Now, you would be attending that same event. Only, not with him.

“Who would’ve thought there’d be a day where I’d have too many clothes to choose from,” laughed Ochaco. You smiled.

“You should wear that pink dress Iida bought you for your birthday. I don’t think you’ve worn it out yet.”

“You think? It’s not too much…”

“Of course not! You’ll look hot,” you teased. Ochaco smiled.

“Alright alright I’ll wear it. But then you have to wear this!” She pulled out a bag from her closet and handed it to you.

“Please don’t tell me you bought me something…”

“I had to! All your clothes are still at his place...and I wanted to make sure you felt good tonight.”

You gave Ochaco a nudge and pulled out the tissue paper. You felt the soft material in between your fingertips, pulling it out from the bag.

“Uraraka...”

“No need to thank me. You’ve been through hell and back these last few weeks, the least I could do is get you a pretty dress.”

You jumped towards your friend, engulfing her in a hug.

“Thank you.”

“Hey now, let’s get ready! The limousine will be here in just a few hours!”

~

You sat in the back of the limo with Ochaco as you were on your way to Deku’s party. You looked like a million bucks. A little part of you hoped someone would take notice.

The estate where Izuku lived was gated off. Once you were let inside, you could see the beaming lights from the top of the hill. You felt your stomach clench, nerves building inside of you. You wanted to see him, but you also didn’t want to see him doing better without you. You haven’t even been apart that long. A month maybe? Certainly not long enough for him to be over you, because you certainly weren’t over him.

“Oh wow, Deku went all out!” cheered Ochaco. You looked to see the endless decorations and glamor that surrounded you.

“Yeah, these were my ideas,” you mumbled. Ochaco placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t stress about it. Let’s just have fun, okay?”

You exited the vehicle and began to make your way inside. Champagne fountains and blasting music greeting you. His house was just as extraordinary as you remembered it. Nothing less than perfect for the No. 1 Hero.

“Uravity! Y/N!”

You turned to see your friend Iida, plus others from your old days at UA.

“You two are looking stunning tonight!” smiled Kirishima.

“Why thank you, it’s all thanks to this one,” you chuckled, giving Ochaco a nudge.

“I honestly didn’t expect to see you here tonight Y/N,” said Shoto. You shrugged.

“Well, I was invited after all. So Mr. Number One Hero can deal with it,” you huffed.

“Sounds like you could use a drink.”

Kaminari handed you a glass of champagne, which you took happily. You clinked glasses with your friends before dousing the beverage down.

“It’s gonna be a long night,” you mumbled to yourself.

You found yourself on the living room couch of Izuku’s large complex. You watched as Pro Heroes danced mindlessly with far too many drinks in their systems. You chuckled. At least they’re having fun.

You hadn’t seen Izuku all night, which was strange considering this was his party. You looked over to the glass staircase, knowing more than well that his bedroom was upstairs. You knew the layout like the back of your hand, after all, you lived here for a year.

You knew all your stuff had to be upstairs. You only had time to pack a small bag the day you left. Surely he wasn’t awful enough to throw your things away. You got up from the couch and quietly made your way up the stairs, hoping no one saw you sneak away from the action of the party.

His bedroom was at the end of the hallway. The doors were closed. You placed your shaky hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. It was unlocked.

You stepped inside. The smell of his cologne filled your senses, causing memories to flood in as well. His room was neat, as if no one had been sleeping in it. You turned to the closet. All your clothing should be on the right side.

“Sneaking around?”

You jumped, removing your hand from the closet handle. You turned around slowly.

“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t burn my shit,” you huffed. Izuku chuckled. He took a few steps towards you, opening the closet.

“Don’t paint me as a villain Y/N. All your things are safe and sound.”

Your side of the closet was just as you left it. Exactly how you left it. You looked back to Izuku.

“Perfect. Then I’ll be taking it with me when I leave-”

“I’m surprised you came at all. I figured you’d want to be as far away from here as possible.”

“I didn’t come for you, I came for Ochaco.”

“Oh right.”

Deku took a step back, placing his hands in his pockets. That devilish smile stared you down, causing your face to burn. You could see the outline of his muscles through his white button down.

“You look incredible by the way. New dress?” he smirked. You rolled your eyes.

“Well since all my clothes were here, yes.”

“Well serves you right for leaving out of nowhere.”

Your eyes widened and you clenched your fists.

“I didn’t leave out of nowhere, I left because you cared more about your job than me!”

“That’s not true-”

“To hell it is! I was tired of being second to everything so I left!”

Izuku took a deep breath and stepped closer to you. He placed his hand under your chin, having you look at him.

“I didn’t want to break up.”

Your breathing got heavier without you even realizing it. You also didn’t realize that Midoriya had you pressed against the closet door.

“I-I didn’t want to either…” you whispered. Izuku smiled.

“Then tell me baby, why did we?”

“B-Because I didn’t know what else to do…”

Izuku brushed his thumb against your cheek, then took a step back.

“Look, I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel under-appreciated...but-”

Izuku moved closer to you again, pinning your arms to your sides and pressing his torso against you all in a swift motion.

“-I can think of a better way to prove it to you.”

You tried to catch your breath. All you wanted was him at this exact moment. Was that a good thing? Of course not. Did you care? Of course not.

“Then prove it to me.”

Izuku wasted little time in moving you onto his California-king. He pinned you down onto the mattress and instantly kissed you. You felt the rush of butterflies swarm your stomach. You hated how much you had missed this.

Deku let go of your wrists and you began to unbutton his shirt. With little patience, he helped you from out of your dress. He dived back down, locking lips with you once more. You dragged your nails down his back, listening as soft groans escaped his lips. He moved down to kiss and suck on your neck.

“Fuck~” was all you were able to get out. Izuku’s hands grazed your burning body, feeling the skin that he had been craving since the day you left. He snaked his hand to your back, unbuckling your bra easily.

“I’ve still got it…” he teased. He threw the bra to the floor and gave you little time to breathe before kissing you again. You ran your fingers through his fluffy hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

“Izuku...please…”

His puppy dog eyes stared back at you.

“What is it?”

You panted heavily, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I need you.”

A smirk creeped onto his face. Izuku kissed your cheek.

“I promised I was gonna prove it to you, wasn’t I?”

Izuku sat up, unbuckling his belt. He slid off his pants and boxers. You caught a glimpse of him, causing your body to feel on fire. Midoriya placed his head in between your legs. He teasingly kissed your inner thighs, keeping his hands glued onto them. The anticipation was practically killing you.

“Izuku-”

“Patience baby...I’m in no rush…”

He moved up to your underwear, biting onto one of the strings and pulling it down. They were practically soaked already. Same with your bra, he tossed them to the floor.

He continued to kiss and nip at your thighs, inching impossibly closer to you. You couldn’t take it anymore.

You grabbed Izuku up and kissed him feverishly.

“So eager baby~”

“Please just fuck me,” you whispered. Izuku chuckled. He licked his lips.

“As you wish.”

Izuku spread your legs apart, dipping one of his fingers inside of you with ease. You arched your back, letting out a moan, and gripping onto his arm tightly.

“That’s it baby~”

Midoriya slipped another finger in, stretching you out even more. You clenched around him as he added more pressure.

He removed his fingers and better adjusted himself above you. He held his cock in his hand before slowly pushing it inside of you.

You didn’t remember him ever feeling this good.

Izuku began to thrust into you, slow at first before building in speed. You could feel yourself clenching around him, sweat forming on your skin. Midoriya groaned with each movement as he pushed even deeper. He kissed you as he fucked you, though you were such a mess you could barely keep up.

He knew exactly how to get you worked up.

“Oh god...I’m c-close,” you mumbled.

“Not yet…”

Midoriya moved his hand down, taking his thumb and rubbing your needy clit. You gripped onto him even harder, digging your nails into his skin as he pushed you over the edge.

“Oh fuck-fuck-”

“Fuck baby, I-I love you-I’m sorry-” he stuttered out.

“I-I love you t-too. Fuck Izuku- I’m gonna cum-”

“Cum with me baby-”

Izuku went even harder as he reached his climax, following you. You let out a pleasure filled scream as you let go. Izuku laid on top of you, catching his breath as your body shook below him.

He looked up at you, brushing his hair back.

“I love you,” he repeated, in case you didn’t believe him the first time. You smiled.

“I love you too.”

~

You had forgotten all about the party that was occurring below you. As you got redressed to head back down to meet Ochaco, you felt Izuku grab your hand.

“What is it?” you asked him. Midoriya took your other hand as he stood before you.

“I really am sorry. I don’t want you to leave again,” he explained. You sighed. You ran your fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek.

“It’s okay, I won’t.”

You walked downstairs with Izuku, his hand interlocked with yours. You watched as Ochaco’s jaw dropped at the sight of you.

“Oh so that’s where you were for the last hour and a half?” she huffed. You chuckled nervously.

“Yeah sorry…”

“Well the limo is here to take us back home, or are you staying here?” she asked. You looked up at Midoriya.

“I’m staying.”

Soon the Midoriya residence was quiet, just you and him remained. You curled up with him on the couch, his arms holding you tightly as he kissed your head.

“You wanna know why I didn’t get rid of any of your things?” he said. You laughed.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I knew you’d be back.”

•

reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

[justkending]

Moral of the Story. Chapter Four.

Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all this time to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of old loves and lives all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky x Y/N

Word Count:

A/N: 

Chapter Four:

Bucky groaned as the alarm blared throughout the room. Rolling over to his side, he threw his head into the pillow. That didn’t stop the beeping like he had hoped, so with a groan he pushed up, smacking the red numbers that screamed at him. He rolled back onto his back and blinked up at the bare ceiling.

Today was the day…

_________________

Y/N couldn’t seem to sleep at all, so she woke up early at 6:30 jumping into the shower. Having the extra time, she took it to have a nice long soak in the hot water. The schedule of the day running through her mind.

The chance of them running into each other was practically at 100%. They had a time frame of 9-10 to get in and sign what they needed. Mr. Murdock said something along the lines that it would take about 30-45 minutes to get everything finalized and copied. 

So yeah… Within an hour frame of needed 30-45 minutes of signing shit and getting multiple copies made, meant Bucky and her would most likely be sitting next to the other as it was done. 

She let out a tired and irritated moan as she finally decided to turn off the water. She had it running for so long, her hands were prunes and the water was becoming lukewarm. The world was telling her to suck it up and move on with the day. 

____________

The car ride there was dreadful. Every stop light just elongated the inevitable meeting. Every turn brought him closer to the terrifying reunion. 

He was running early to begin with, but after hitting traffic from a wreck, he was now running just a few minutes behind. So weaving through the people who didn’t understand New York traffic was his specialty in showing up in time. 

____________

She stopped at the coffee shop by her house before really heading to the attorneys office. The car ride to the place was easy and smooth on her end. From coming from the outskirts of Brooklyn, the inner city traffic was avoided for the most part. So she was there early. She even had a second to sit in her car and drink the latte she had bought. Something about Brooklyn latte’s was 10x better than anything California had.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact they actually had cold weather to pair the hot drink with, whereas where she now lived, the lowest low in temperatures was 70 degrees. 

________________

Getting there with just 3 minutes to spare, Bucky rushed out of the car and walked with a hint of speed to the door that read Nelson and Murdock Law Firm. 

No sign of Y/N yet, but as he walked in, he heard a shout from the street that caused him to turn as soon as he walked in. He didn’t have a second to register what the shout was about as he took two steps in and ran straight into someone’s back. 

“Whoa!” he said, using his hands to brace himself on the mystery person's shoulders, and the other person making the same exclamation. “Oh God, I’m so sor-”

Before he could finish the apology, the women turned showing the face of his matured high-school-sweetheart. 

“Oh,” he let out in a breathy turn. He could tell just from past experience with her, she had a snarky comment on her tongue at the run in, but upon seeing him, the words died on her lips. “Hey.”

She looked great. Like, really great after all these years. Not that she wasn’t a beautiful gal to begin with, but you never know how someone’s going to age. However, she looked almost the same. 

Sure, she had aged some, but just like a nice bottle of the finest wine in all the vineyards of California. Maybe that was her secret given her new home. 

Her Y/H/C hair was styled in loose curls. It was voluminous with a healthy shine to it. She had on an off white, canvas dress that cinched at the waist with buttons going down it. And she had a layered gold necklace going down her chest where the buttons were undone. She looked both professional yet casual at the same time. 

Bucky realized he had been staring when she awkwardly looked around her trying to not pay attention to his analyzing eyes. 

“Hey,” she said, letting out a deep breath. 

She didn’t miss how good he looked either. Even in those facebook pictures that she had found the night before, the ones she found him just as attractive, they didn’t do the real man justice. His hair was just as long as the most recent picture his mother had posted, and he looked more muscular than she ever remembered. The scrubs didn't do his build justice. 

He was wearing a navy blue v-neck tight fitting t-shirt. A brown leather jacket that looked as though it was tailored specifically for him and him alone. And lastly, he had on a pair of jeans that of course, fit in him all the right places. 

There was a very awkward silence as they stood there not knowing what else to say. Neither now looking at the other, but instead looking at every little inanimate object item in the office. 

After what felt like eons of the most tense silence to exist, Bucky was about to speak up again, but was cut off from another person running in late.

“Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry guys,” the voice sighed, out of breath from what they presumed was running to get there on time. “Foggy was supposed to pick me up and we were going to ride together, but he got food poisoning last night, so I had to take the train last minute.”

The man had dark brown hair, a nice suit, and a pair of sunglasses on even though it was overcast today and the sun was barely peeking through the heavy clouds. 

“Foggy?” Y/N asked with a tilt of her head. 

Bucky turned back looking at her with the same question on his mind, but watching the small action of confusion brought him back 10 years. God, it had been so long he had almost forgotten the little mannerisms she had that he found adorable. And damn her for still having that adorable action. 

“Oh, right. Franklin Nelson. My co-attorney,” he nodded. “We’ve been friends since we were in college. Friends call him Foggy.”

“Oh, I see,” Y/N nodded with a kind smile. 

“Anyway, I won’t bore you with my morning chaos. I’m sure you two are ready to get this over with and go on about your day,” he smiled, and pulled a walking stick out from around him as he closed the door. One that neither had realized he had been holding until now. “You two much be James and Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Matthew Murdock.

“It’s nice to meet you Matthew,” Y/N replied sweetly.

“Yes, thank you for helping us out,” Bucky nodded, placing his hands nervously in his pockets. 

“It’s my pleasure. I’m so sorry about everything that you guys are having to fix,” he said apologetically. But I’m sure you guys want to go about your day, so please, right this way,” he motioned to the door that was across from them. 

Bucky and Y/N both shared an impressed look on their faces as they watched him maneuver through the office gracefully. 

They followed close behind him and once they were seated in the chairs in front of the desk, Bucky began to fidget in his spot. Sure the office had been redone and really didn’t look much like it had all those years ago, but the layout was the same. And all it was doing to him was bringing back memories he hated trudging back to the surface. 

He subtly looked over at Y/N and saw her sitting in perfect posture watching Matthew as if if she were to look at him and only him, then she wouldn’t have to face Bucky. 

Why did he expect anything less? Of course she hated him just as much as she had all those years. She was probably dreading this meeting just as much as him. That small speck of hope that maybe they could be somewhat normal and civil upon meeting again after all this time, completely faded at that point. 

“Ok, this really shouldn’t take all that much time since Foggy and I went ahead and wrote up all the things that needed signed and double checked. So we should be able to breeze through all this,” Matthew nodded, bringing up a thick file that looked as though it had tabs on the side organizing them. 

Y/N looked over wondering just how he knew the difference between documents and noticed on each tab, there were bariel markings along them. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, out of all places to live, why New York? It’s got to be hard getting around such a crazy busy city given.. ” Bucky asked, but didn’t finish not sure how to word it. Y/N snapped her head in his direction and smacked his arm. “Ow!” Bucky jumped, sending her raised eyebrows. “What the hell?”

“I’m assuming you’re asking because of this,” Matthew laughed casually as he pointed to his glasses. “Don’t worry. You would be surprised just how often I get asked that.”

“Yeah, it was just a question,” Bucky pouted toward Y/N while rubbing his assaulted arm. The two falling back into their old behaviors rather fast. 

“I wasn’t always blind. I mean I have been for a good chunk of my life, but I’ve lived in New York my whole life as well,” Matthew went on to explain as he moved papers around. “If anything it would be harder for me to get around if I moved any place else. I know this place like the back of my hand.”

“That’s impressive,” Bucky nodded, getting comfortable in his seat. 

“Eh, it’s either learn or get bumped around the sidewalk of a place full of people who don’t give a second glance to anyone who’s in their way,” Matthew shrugged. “Oh, I need to go grab something before we start.”

He maneuvered through the room leaving the door open as he went across the office. Tension filled the air as they were left alone for a second time in the past 5 minutes. 

Y/N was sitting straight forward, her eyes wandering here and there around the meeting room, but careful not to go over to Bucky’s side of the room. He looked down seeing her hands were fiddling in her lap. She was tapping her thumbs together while his leg bounced up and down.

Bucky had opened his mouth to start to say something, but even he wasn’t sure what was about to come out. Lucky for him, Matthew came back in and went back to his seat. 

“Sorry about that. I thought I had it all, but needed to get some pens and one last paper I left on the printer last night.”

“You’re fine,” Y/N said professionally, but kindly. “I have one quick question, if you don’t mind.” Matthew nodded her on with a soft smile. “What exactly happened to Hammer after all this chaos was discovered?”

“Oh, yes. He, uh, he will not be an issue to anyone else to put it lightly. His license was revoked and terminated and he is currently on trial for money laundering and malpractice,” he answered. 

“Serves him right,” Bucky mumbled, and instead of getting a smack to the arm, Y/N nodded in agreement. 

“Ok, if you two are ready, let’s begin,” Matthew smiled before grabbing the first set of papers. 

The two straightened in their seats and the process began.

After a few minutes of just signing, Matthew started to make notes of updated information for the two. 

“Ok, Mrs. Barnes, sorry, Y/N,” he corrected quickly. “What is your line of profession at the moment?”

“I work at Horizon Labs in L.A. It’s a company a friend and I from college started up. I’m a Sustainable-Conscious Financial Advisor for a lot of smaller businesses as well as some bigger ones we recently just became partners with,” she answered. 

“Horizon Labs, huh?” Matthew said with an impressed look. Bucky turned to look at her as she lightly blushed. “I think I listened to a podcast about them. You guys help companies use recycled goods and find energy efficient technology, right?”

“We just redirect them to people who can help them get those resources. It’s practically just connecting the companies that would work great together in helping the environment,” she nodded humbly. 

“That’s amazing,” Matthew smiled. “We need more people and companies like that.”

“Thank you.”

He made note of that on a computer. “I’m assuming with all that, you have to be a little too busy for a second job, right? I don’t need to make note of another?”

“Uh, actually,” she added, Bucky’s already focused eyes on her quirked at her response. “I just invested in a Woman’s shelter with another friend of mine. I haven’t really got to do much with it, but it is a second job as of lately.”

“Wait? Nat?” Bucky caught on.

“Uh, yeah,” she nodded almost shyly. Probably the second time out of this whole meeting that she actually made eye contact with him. “My company works with them in getting some of the resources and items they need for the shelter. I talked with Nat and I invested into it some to help with some with their financial advisements.” 

“Wow, th-that’s,” Bucky faltered. “That sounds like you,” he said with a breathy laugh thinking about how maybe she really hadn’t changed all these years. That being one of the ‘reasons’ they had broken it off, how people change and all. But that’s a story for another time.

Y/N didn’t show a response to his words, but she did take them in. 

“So you run a woman’s home and you run a well-off business that promotes eco-friendly resources for the environment?”

“Well, I don’t run the woman’s home. That’s all my friends doing. I just help where help is asked if I can,” she answered once again humbly. No sense of egotistical pride hinted in her explanations or answers. 

“That’s extremely impressive Y/N,” Matthew gushed some, and Bucky noticed the smallest form of attraction come off the lawyer. He straightened at that. “I’ll make a note of it. And you Mr. Barnes. What is your occupation?”

Bucky relaxed his shoulders and focused back at the issue at hand. Trying to not get jealous of something that wasn’t even his to be jealous of. 

“I’m one of the head occupational therapist at Stark Theracorp,” he answered. Now it was Y/N’s turn to look at him intrigued. “I run the geriatric occupational therapy floor and manage our equipment and employees. ”

“Two very impressive people in the work field from what I’m getting,” Matthew chuckled some as he made the notes. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have to ask about income from the both of you for the record. If you want to write it on a paper and hand it to me you can or if you are comfortable saying it outloud that works too. Either way, I’ll have Foggy add it in later to the finalized papers.”

“Wait, so we aren’t finalizing it today?” Y/N asked, somewhat shocked. 

“Did Foggy not tell you?” Matthew asked. “I thought he reached out to you before this meeting.”

“I don’t believe so,” Y/N shook her head. 

“Well, the reason this one is so quick is because I just need a few signatures and updated notes on you two. After that, I’ll make the altercations for the official papers and I’ll send those to you both on their own to get the final signature. You can either bring them to me here, fax them, or have them sent via mail after you signed off on them.”

“Oh, I see,” Y/N nodded. The look of defeat in her posture and facial expressions.

It hurt Bucky a little seeing her reaction to it. Did she really want to get away from him that bad? Was he that much of a nuisance in her life? I mean, yeah, they were supposed to be divorced 9 years ago, but he didn’t want it then and it still hurt seeing just how much she wanted it now. 

“That’s not an issue is it? I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience,” Matthew apologized. 

“No, no. It’s ok,” she said in reassurance to him. But she let out an almost bitter laugh before she spoke again. “We’ve been married for the past 9 years apparently. What’s a few more days?”

“I guess that’s true,” Matthew laughed with her. 

Bucky rolled his eyes discreetly. He really hated how she was reacting with all this. It wasn’t surprising, but doesn’t mean it hurts any less seeing how badly she wanted out of the situation.  

“Mr. Barnes, are you ok with that?” 

“I’ll survive a few more days, I guess,” he returned just as bitterly as Y/N. The two looked at each other one more time, but this time, anger and annoyance was clear on both of their faces.

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask! It keeps things more organized for me. If you comment, I most likely will not add because I loose them:)

- Tags will be closing soon.

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae @lonerlovescompany @jessyballet @angstysebfan @tita127 @semistablecentenarian @im-a-light-child @alyssahowden @studiesinspanish @natyvwe @rebekahdawkins@fanfictionjunkie1112 @millennial-teenybopper @scotlandasshole @aquariusbarnes @shinykoalacat​

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @heyiamthatbitch​ @lizzymacy555​  @srrymydood​ @xa-dia​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @morganclaire4​ @connie326​ @captain-asguard​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @teenagedreams-bucky​ @shower-me-with-roses​ @pham-tastical @livstilinski​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravicente​ @kakakatey​ @traceyaudette​ @notyourtypicalrose​  @laneygthememequeen​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @thefaithfulwriter​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @carls1022​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @anise-d-castle6​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​ @alyispunk​ @princess-annna

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​

[detectivereyes]

Even If You Stumble A Step, You’re Still Moving Forward

Summary: TK and Carlos move into their new home post-finale and TK doesn't exactly make the best first impression on their new neighbors...

Notes: this was like a fever dream i had a few months ago and then i stopped writing but decided to revive it last night so... here we are. also title creds (and emotional support creds) to jillian @marjansmarwani​ because this fic wouldn’t exist without her. and also s/o to brit @moviegeek03​ for being extra supportive of yet another fic where [spoiler] tk falls down the stairs again :/

read on ao3

TK shuffles through the maze of boxes stacked several feet high throughout their new home. The scene shouldn’t surprise him considering it was only a few months ago he was moving his own boxes into their old home. However it feels different knowing that most of this stuff isn’t actually theirs.

Well, it is theirs now he figures. But the fact remains that most of the stuff filling the space was either given to them by various members of the extended 126 family, or was recently purchased by TK or Carlos on one of their many trips to Bed Bath and Beyond. 

They had taken their time searching for a new place to live. Owen had made it clear that they were both welcome to stay with him (and Mateo) for as long as they needed, but TK had known it was time.

So when a townhome popped up on Zillow that met all their criteria, they wasted no time booking an appointment with the realtor. They both had instantly fallen in love with the open floor plan and deck out back. Plus they knew the extra bedrooms upstairs may come in handy someday.

While they knew the vertical layout of the home itself wasn’t the best, having more stairs than either of them were used to, it checked every other box and was right in their price range so they had wasted no time signing the lease.

A few days had passed since settlement and now most of their days were spent trying to unpack and make this new house into a home. It would never replace the one they had lost, but it had been exciting to build this new home together.

Though on this particular day, TK found himself alone in trying to get settled in since Carlos had a shift. With the 126 still out of commission, possibly forever, and the department not having any openings for paramedics, most of the unpacking was left for TK.

After getting a good chunk of the living room done, he checks the time and decides to go out and see if the mail has come yet. Not that he’s expecting anything with their address still being so new, and not getting much physical mail anyway to begin with. But it still provided a good excuse to take a break.

TK opens the front door and starts to make his way down the set of stairs leading down. 

He makes it about halfway before his attention is caught by one of his new next door neighbors, Mr. Martin- if he remembers correctly, exiting at the same time. Mr. Martin gives a friendly wave and TK goes to return the gesture.

Except, he’s not paying attention when he takes the next step, and he misses, his heel just barely hitting the edge of the step before he starts to go down. He tumbles until he comes to a hard stop at the bottom, with most of his weight coming down on his right knee, sending shooting pains up and down his leg.

The rest of his body is sore, and by the time his ears stop ringing, he can just barely make out a new female voice asking “Sir, are you okay?”

He opens his eyes, which he had not even realized he had squeezed shut at some point, to see his neighbor, Mrs. Bailey- his brain supplies, from across the street making her way over to check on him, worried lines painting across her forehead.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m fine,” he grimaces while pushing himself up to a seated position. He tries to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. Not the best way to make a good first impression on his neighbors.

“Are you sure, son? We can call for help if you need it. Someone you know, or 9-1-1?” Mr. Martin joins in the conversation.

“No!” TK interjects too quickly, startling both neighbors. He panics for a moment when the weight of the predicament settles in. He meets the gaze of both figures still staring at him, clearly concerned and waiting for him to say something. “I mean, I’m a paramedic. I’m fine. Or I will be fine. Thank you,” he flashes them both a quick smile before pushing himself up off the ground, ignoring the sharp pains that radiate from his knee when he tries to put any weight on it.

Getting back up the stairs is no easy feat, and he doesn’t have to turn around to know that both Mr. Martin and Mrs. Bailey are still watching him, concerned. Fortunately, they don’t know him well enough to try and follow or help. He’s not sure he would feel comfortable enough receiving help from some strangers. Half the time he doesn’t even feel comfortable receiving help from the people he does know.

He leans heavily on the railing, refusing to turn around out of fear of further mortification. Once he’s inside the home, he collapses right inside the hall, unable to go any further since his knee decided to stop cooperating.

A few tears pool in his eyes, and he’s unsure if that’s due to the pain or embarrassment. Not knowing what else to do, he takes out his phone and shoots a quick text to Carlos.

TK: we have to move

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the three dots to pop up before being replaced by Carlos’ response.

Carlos: ???

TK sighs and rubs his face, trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation.

TK: i feel down the stairs out front and all the neighbors saw

Carlos: Holy shit, are you okay??

He lets out a puff of air at that.

TK: you mean besides my bruised ego?

TK: no, i hurt my knee but i’m fine. that’s not the issue here.

Carlos: Okay, I’ll be home in an hour and you can let me be the judge of that. If I see any swelling, we’re going to the doctor.”

He rolls his eyes at Carlos’ worry. At worst, it’s a bad sprain, nothing that can’t be fixed with some icing and wrapping. But there are other things they need to worry about.

TK: you’re missing the point, carlos. the entire neighborhood thinks i’m an idiot. we can’t live here anymore.

TK knows he’s being dramatic, but the more he thinks about it, the more embarrassed he gets. The idea that these are people he’s going to have to continue to face everyday for the foreseeable future. And that now all they’ll be able to think about when they do see him. Now he’ll just be known as the guy who can’t walk down stairs.

Carlos: Relax, TK. I’ll be home soon.

TK: you mean our temporary place of residence which we will soon be moving out of

He doesn’t get a response after that. 

His mind continues to spiral while he waits for Carlos to arrive. He knows the other man is likely climbing the walls trying to leave his shift early but it would still be awhile before he could be allowed to leave.

Left alone with his thoughts, his mind keeps playing out the series of events that happened minutes ago. He can't help but beat himself up over embarrassing himself like that. Ironically enough, it’s not even the first time he’s fallen down stairs, having taken a tumble down the stairs in Carlos’ place a few months back. And of course he would manage to injure himself that time, and this time as well.

He should at least try to get up so he can find an ice pack to lessen the swelling. Sitting on the floor up against the wall can’t be doing his knee any favors. Yet he can’t bring himself to move, instead resting his head back against the wall and sighing.

TK pulls out his phone again, cycling through the apps until he hears the tell-tale keys jingling in the already unlocked door.

As soon as Carlos steps through the door, he nearly trips over TK in the doorway. “Woah, hey! TK, are you okay?” he crouches down to TK’s level.

TK shrugs. Now that he’s face to face with Carlos, he can’t help but feel suffocated by another person judging him, even if Carlos’ worry comes from a place of concern.

“Can I take a look at your knee?”

TK nods, allowing Carlos to gently inspect his swollen joint. He winces as Carlos traces his hand around his kneecap.

“This doesn’t look good, babe. I think we need to go to the hospital.”

“No, it’s fine,” he quickly shakes his head. The worried look in Carlos’ eyes only makes his heart ache, and he can only try to find ways to make it go away. “Just help me up and we can ice it. It will look better once the swelling goes down a bit.”

Carlos gives him a look that screams I don’t believe you but sighs. “Fine, but if it doesn’t…”

“I know, I know. You’ll drag my ass to the emergency room,” TK gives him a reassuring smile.

Carlos returns the smile, and extends a hand to help TK up. TK accepts, and allows Carlos to take on most of his weight once he’s standing. They slowly make their way over to the living room, with Carlos softly depositing TK onto the sofa. He then disappears into the kitchen before returning with an ice pack in hand.

“Thanks,” TK smiles, trying to mask the wince as Carlos places the pack onto his knee.

“Do you want to watch an episode of The Office?” Carlos asks, picking up the remote and settling in the spot next to TK.

TK shrugs, knowing that Carlos is just trying to appeal to him by offering to put on his favorite show. The other man doesn’t even like the show that much, often finding the humor dry and tasteless, but TK thinks he just doesn’t get it.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

There it is.

“I just can’t believe I did that in front of our new neighbors. They probably think I’m an idiot.”

“I’m sure no one thinks you’re an idiot, TK,” Carlos gently reassures him.

“Yeah all the neighbors saw me make an idiot of myself,” TK sighs exasperatedly. “God, how am I supposed to face these people everyday now?”

“Hate to break it to you babe, but this is not a valid reason for us to move.”

“I know,” he sighs again.

“Besides,” Carlos continues. “If your track record has proven anything, it’s that this won’t be the last medical emergency at our new home. It’s good that the neighbors are getting used to it now.”

TK gives him a pointed look.

“I’m pretty sure this is the second time you’ve fallen down the stairs since we’ve started dating,” Carlos says with a light chuckle.

“Whatever,” TK scoffs. “At least the other time it wasn’t in front of total strangers.”

Carlos softens. “That’s true. But I’m sure the neighbors just care about you. I don’t think this is that big of a deal, TK.”

“You weren’t there though. It was mortifying.”

“What did they say, exactly?”

TK nervously looks down. “They asked if I was okay. And if I needed any help.”

Carlos raises his eyebrow, waiting to see if TK continues. 

“They offered to call for help but I said no and went back inside.”

“See? They just care about you TK. I haven’t really talked to anyone yet but they seem like nice people.”

“I guess,” TK shrugs.

“I know, you’re still embarrassed. But if nothing else, they’ll probably forget about it by the next time we see them.”

“You don’t think I’ll be known as the ‘clumsy neighbor who can’t walk down stairs’?”

“Maybe the ‘cute clumsy neighbor that can’t walk down stairs,’” Carlos says with a smirk. “But we could always change that.”

TK cocks his head to the side. 

“You think our new neighbors might enjoy some peach scones when we go over and have a proper introduction?”

“You really plan to charm our new neighbors with your baking?” 

“You think it will work?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then yes, I do,” Carlos grins proudly. He then leans over and gently removes the ice pack from TK’s knee, grimacing at what he sees. “This still looks pretty swollen, babe. I think we need to go to the hospital.”

TK gives him a pained smile. “You sure I can’t talk my way out of this?”

“Nope,” Carlos says, popping the p. He stands up before extending his hand to help TK do the same.

TK accepts, shifting his weight and leaning into Carlos once he’s fully upright. 

“You know, I think you may have a paramedic blindspot when it comes to your own health.”

TK lets out a light laugh. “Yeah, I’ve been told.”

A week later, Carlos softly knocks on the door of Mrs. Bailey’s home across the street with one hand and a plate of peach scones in the other. TK had offered to hold the scones but when they went over to Mr. Martin's home earlier in the day, it was quickly discovered it was too difficult for him to manage getting up the stairs and holding the plate.

So he settles for letting Carlos do most of the work while he awkwardly limps up the stairs, leaning heavily on the railing to keep some pressure off his knee.

After their quick trip to the emergency room, it had been determined that TK’s initial assessment was right and it was just a bad sprain. He was given a brace to help reduce the pain and a pair of crutches, which (much to Carlos’ dismay) he abandoned after only two days, citing that they only made it harder to get around their home which he can now say for certain has too many damn stairs.

A problem which seems to follow him as he also has to get up the stairs to greet his neighbors.

“Maybe we should have moved to a neighborhood of single level homes,” he states with a wince as he joins Carlos at the front door.

Carlos snorts. “We can take it into consideration if we ever have to move again.”

“God, please don’t say that. I don’t want to think about moving ever again.”

“Good,” Carlos gives him a soft smile. “Because I’m planning on staying here for the long run.”

“Me too,” TK returns the smile just as Mrs. Bailey opens the door.

“What a lovely surprise!” she exclaims taking in the sight of the two men. 

“Hello ma’am,” Carlos says with a polite smile.

“We brought you some scones,” TK adds, gesturing to the plate in Carlos’ hands.

“Oh how thoughtful of you. Please come in. How are you doing?” she asks, turning to TK. “I’ve been worried.”

He exchanges a look with Carlos, the other man's face clearly saying I told you she cares, before turning back to Mrs. Bailey.

“I’m fine, ma’am. Thank you for asking. It’s just a bad sprain. But I do appreciate your concern, especially the other week.”

“Oh, of course dear,” she says with a warm smile. “Now, you boys aren’t going to make me eat these scones all by myself are you?”

They both let out a light chuckle and exchange another glance before following their new neighbor, and friend inside.

[megalony]

Problem solved- Part 2

I wrote the first part of this new Harry Styles series then got caught up in other fics but I’m finally back to this series, I’ve had some lovely feedback already with only one part posted. I hope you will all like this next part.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh​

Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Harry offers for (Y/n) and her daughter to come and live with him and his son to help her out of a tricky situation and feelings soon start to develop between them both.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Harry I can't... can you show me again, please?" A sigh followed the end of (Y/n)'s sentence and Harry could see the frustration and nervousness in her flitting eyes.

This wasn't getting any easier for (Y/n) right now and Harry knew that it wasn't going to get easier when she was becoming very impatient. She wanted to get this right and do it all in the first day because the quicker she got this mapped out and remembered the easier things would be. Especially when the social worker came round to see them next week.

"Love, you know you can't do this in a day, don't you? It's gonna take a while."

Harry needed (Y/n) to know that trying to map out his entire house in her head was not going to be an easy thing to do. His house was much bigger than her own and whenever (Y/n) moved homes she had to take a long time until she felt at ease enough to walk around without holding the walls or reaching for furniture to remind herself where she was.

It felt unnerving but a little empowering to (Y/n) when she had lied to her social worker Joanne and said that she was in a new relationship and her and her partner had decided to move in together to make things easier. Joanne didn't even suspect that (Y/n) was lying in order to make sure she could keep custody of her daughter, she was simply happy (Y/n) was having and accepting help to make her life easier.

Harry had been all for moving in as soon as possible to make things easier for all of them and they had gotten all of (Y/n) and Ella's things moved in now. All they had to do now was get (Y/n) used to Harry's house and memorise a layout of the house.

(Y/n) had been to his house many times, but she had only been in a few rooms downstairs and she never made much of a layout in her head. She didn't know where all the pictures on the walls were, where the cabinets and desks and ornaments were. She had to remember exactly where everything was so she could manouevre around the house properly.

"I know but I... I want to memorise it so when Joanne comes, she won't be concerned. She'll see that I can walk round the house and show her to the kitchen without tripping or that I can make it to the washing machine or bathroom without a problem. I want her to see that I can adapt here so she knows how good of a mum I am."

(Y/n) pursed her lips as she sat down on the bed, turning her head to the left when she could feel Harry moving closer until he was suddenly sat down beside her on the bed.

Joanne had given (Y/n) a month to get herself sorted and moved in with Harry before she would come and visit and her visit was only an inspection to see the house and check up on (Y/n). She wasn't assessing (Y/n) straight away or her abilities as a mother or to see if Ella would be better with (Y/n) or James. She was simply there to help (Y/n) if needed and see how she was doing but (Y/n) wanted to show her she was fine and capable. She wanted to prove that moving wasn't too stressful and that she was coping with a new environment just fine.

"When she comes here, she'll see how well you're doing to adapt to a new home and she'll see how happy we both are that you and Ella are here. If you trip or get confused or lost she will know that you aren't superwoman, you can't be expected to know the house from top to bottom in a few weeks."

Harry gently eased his arm around (Y/n)'s shoulders, smiling down at her when she leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to accept and agree with what he was saying because she knew it made sense. But at the same time, her panic was making her desperate to do everything right and make no mistakes. Throughiut her life (Y/n) had to prove to people that she could do everything just as well as they could. She couldn't write but she could read brail, she could listen and imagine movies, she could imagine what things looked like such as colours and ornaments and pictures and people.

She could go to work, she could play music, she could go to the shops and figure out what was on which shelf and where the checkout was. (Y/n) could work out the world around her in seconds, she had gone through a pregnancy and labour and looked after her baby all without her eyesight.

(Y/n) was strong and could do anything she put her mind to, she just needed everyone else to see that.

"Can you show me the room again?" The way her voice was soft like velvet made Harry bite down on his lip before he darted his tongue out to run over both his lips. He was thankful right now that she couldn't see him or the effect her soft yet inviting voice had on him.

"Course, love." Harry cleared his throat when he realised how quiet and croaky his voice sounded.

Harry slowly got to his feet before he moved around when (Y/n) stood up so that he was standing behind her. He had to control his breathing when he pressed his chest up to her back so she couldn't feel any hitched breaths he had or the way his heart was fluttering in his chest. With (Y/n)'s lack of sight it meant that her other senses were how she saw the world and they were amplified. She could always feel when Harry was breathing faster or the slightest change in his stance and she knew exactly what it meant. He would hate for her to feel the effect she had on him.

To try and help (Y/n) learn her way around the house and where everything was, Harry had taken to standing behind her and guiding her around the house. He was being her eyes for her, walking her around the house so she could take in everything and try to remember it. Once she was sure she knew where everything was, she could do a lap of the house on her own and see if she was okay with the layout and where things were.

(Y/n) tensed her fingers and stretched them out to try and stop the nerves rattling through her before she felt Harry's hands resting on top of her own.

"Okay, seven steps from the bed until you reach the chest of drawers against the wall." Harry's soft low-pitched voice murmured quietly into (Y/n)'s ear where his lips were hovering as they walked as if they were conjoined. Their hands reached out in front of them until (Y/n) could lower them and feel the top of the polished wooden chest of drawers she was now using.

When deciding where to put her clothes (Y/n) knew it would be easier to keep them in the same order as when she was at her home. Her socks and underwear in the first drawer, vests and shirts in the middle drawer and trousers and leggings in the bottom drawer. All her dresses, pressed shirts and jumpers were in a wardrobe next to Harry's lined against the back wall and (Y/n) kept them in the same order as when at home to make it easy. Many of her coat hangers had paper labels on that had brail on them so she knew which item was which and what colour it was, etc,.

"Necklaces and rings are in here... the picture of us is there." (Y/n) spoke quietly and Harry assumed she was merely reminding herself of the items as she spoke. He loved watching and feeling the way her fingers skimmed over the dark blue metal box containing her jewellery or the picture frame he sat on the right side of the drawer.

Even though (Y/n) couldn't see pictures she still wanted them in her home and since this was technically her home, she wanted pictures of all of them around the house. She trusted Harry when he said which picture was better and he described them to her in enough detail to make her smile and imagine it herself.

"The wardrobe is over there... a-and the door is here." (Y/n) pointed out to the left before she started slowly walking towards where she thought the door was. Breathing in relief when she felt the door handle and opened the door, making sure she remembered the steps it took to get there from the chest of drawers.

"See, you're getting there, love."

"And you're sure us sharing a room is okay? I mean we're not exactly... together."

(Y/n) turned her head to the left but a shiver ran down her spine when she could feel Harry's breaths fanning gently against her nose and cheek. Even though she couldn't see him, she could almost see the way he was staring down at her. She could feel his stare burning into her features and it made her chest quake.

As much as (Y/n) was intrigued and nervous about sharing a room with Harry, she wanted to make sure he was okay with this. It wasn't exactly normal considering they weren't in an actual relationship.

This was all fake.

They were best friends living together with their children but pretending to be in a relationship to make sure that (Y/n) was able to keep sole custody of her daughter. Sharing a room was something Harry had proposed, he said it would be better in case Joanne wanted to look around the house and see where they were sleeping. And considering (Y/n) was used to sharing with James and having him there for help it seemed like a good idea. If (Y/n) needed to get up during the night Harry was there in case she tripped or had a nightmare which he knew happened a lot. It would also be easier for the kids to understand.

"Trust me love, it's fine. We've shared a room loads of times before and it's the easiest option."

"Okay then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Elliot, honey do you want something to eat?" (Y/n) reached her hand out and gently ruffled his hair, feeling the fluffy strands of hair carding through her fingers like cotton wool.

The five year old seemed to be following (Y/n) around a lot the past two days she and Ella had officially moved in with him and Harry. (Y/n) had been a part of Elliot's life since he had been born so he was very comfortable around her like she was one of the family which was very good. But he was never normally this attached to her.

Moreover, he didn't seem too confused or intrigued by the fact that she couldn't see. Elliot seemed to take it in his stride, he questioned a lot of things because his capacity of understanding was different than the other kids but he never questioned why (Y/n) couldn't see. He even gave her some of the pictures he drew or painted at preschool even though he knew she couldn't see them. (Y/n) sometimes thought it was so she could appreciate what he was doing and how he was trying.

Elliot was a reserved child, he liked to be on his own or surrounded by family depending on his mood and the day he was having. It was also hard for him to communicate because it took people a while to understand what he was saying. He had a speech impediment so he kept his sentences short both so it was easier for him and easier for everyone else to try and understand him.

"Hmm, cheese sandwich please."

The answer was predictable but (Y/n) knew she had to ask him anyway. There were only a few options Elliot would actually eat and a cheese sandwich was what he mainly ate for dinner nearly every day.

"Okay honey, could you just find me your plate please?"

As much as (Y/n) was trying to get her bearings in this new home, it was much larger than her old home and there were so many changes. The layout of the kitchen was different, the drawers were different sizes and the cupboards were in different places with different handles. It was becoming a tiny bit easier to try and remember where everything was kept but (Y/n) was still unused to it all.

Plus, Elliot had specific cups and plates that he liked to use, he had one particular plate with his favourite cartoon character on that he always had his sandwiches on. (Y/n) remembered Harry telling her this but she couldn't remember where it was kept and right now she didn't know the feel of the plate so she wouldn't be able to find it anyway.

"Thank you honey, why don't you go and see if Ella wants something?" (Y/n) rested Elliot's plate on the counter in front of her when he passed it to her. But a rush of adrenaline coursed through her stomach suddenly when she felt Elliot gently and cautiously take hold of her hand and sway it between them for a moment before she heard him toddling off out of the kitchen. Something in the back of her mind told her that he had done that as a small gesture that he was there or a sign that he was about to go out of the room.

It didn't take too long for (Y/n) to find the bread and butter, it took a little longer to work out what object in the fridge was cheese but she managed to find it.

"Knives... knives?" (Y/n) mumbled to herself under her breath as she tried to find which drawer held the cutlery so she could cut the cheese and spread the butter but a gasp left her lips in shock when something sliced against her hand.

Pulling her hands to her chest, (Y/n) curled her fingers around her thumb, hissing under her breath before biting her lip when she could feel the blood starting to stick against her fingers and leak between the grooves of her hands. She kept forgetting this was a new home. Sharp knives were normally kept in a box in a cupboard so something like this didn't happen but it seemed too trivial and silly for (Y/n) to ask Harry to do for her.

"Hey love, Elliot said- are you alright?"

Harry could see that his voice made (Y/n) jump, she clearly hadn't been paying attention to the noises around her or she would have heard him approaching. He leaned around her to try and see what was wrong but his lips pursed together when he realised she must have hurt herself since the cutelry drawer was left open.

"Let me see." His voice was gentle and his hands were cautious yet smooth as they reached out and cocooned around hers. He slowly pulled her hands closer to him before he opened them like he was slowly prizing open an oyster shell to see the pearl hidden within.

(Y/n) silently let Harry tug her over to the sink before she shivered at the feeling of the cold stream of water battering against her thumb trying to wash away the blood.

"What does it look like?"

"It's not that bad love, just a small cut-"

"No, I meant the blood... why are some people so scared of it?"

Harry's eyes narrowed as he looked up from (Y/n)'s thumb to look at her enamouring eyes that were now darting up behind her eyelid and back down again rather than going from side to side. She couldn't always control the way her eyes moved and sometimes they didn't move at all, only really when she was nervous or zoning out.

It was normal for (Y/n) to ask Harry things like this, she saw the world in a sheet of darkness, her sense of touch, smell hearing and taste were her eyes and her imagination was like drawing on black paper with black ink. She had never seen anything before so imagining it was almost impossible.

(Y/n) couldn't imagine what her own daughter looked like, she couldn't imagine what Harry looked like or what a microphone was. Something trivial like a carpet or a pebble or even water, they were all things (Y/n) had no idea what they looked like and feeling them was so different to what it really was. She had a few friends who were uneasy around blood, it made them queasy just like the smell of certain foods made (Y/n) want to be sick or faint. But she wondered what was so bad about blood that made people feel that way.

"I... I think it's the thought of it, rather than how it looks. Blood is special, it's meant to be in your body, so when some people see it it's the thought that scares them." Harry knew that a lot of blood from a serious injury was a different thing but for some people, seeing small droplets of blood worried them because of what it could lead to. The thought of blood was worse than what it actually was or looked like.

"Can you describe it to me?"

(Y/n)'s voice was timid and it was so gentle and caring like she was asking Harry something so important yet in such a laid back, loving kind of way.

She could feel her heartbeat starting to increase when she felt Harry smoothing his thumb over her own, brushing away the blood in such a way that (Y/n) could feel butterflies flying underneath the surface of her skin and spilling out with her blood.

"It's thin, everything you hear makes it seem thick like gravy but it's not, it's thinner than water. It looks delicate right now and when it mixes with the water it doesn't really change colour, it just looks... thinner." Over the years he had known (Y/n), Harry had gotten rather good at describing anything (Y/n) asked, even trivial things that he would never think about describing before. Blood was definitely a different, more out of the blue one, but he was sure he had done a good enough job for (Y/n) to come up with some sort of idea or image of it.

(Y/n) didn't know how to respond to his rather beautiful description so she simply squeezed Harry's hand, feeling her heart jumping again when Harry pulled her with him away from the sink. It felt like the atmosphere was changing but (Y/n) didn't want it to. She wanted to stay in this thick, weird but rather intoxicating moment with him.

She relished in the feeling of Harry dabbing at her thumb with a towel, feeling the fluff smoothing against her skin and prickling against her cut skin before it was suddenly replaced with pressure when Harry wrapped a plaster around her thumb.

"All better." Harry didn't think before his next movement, he automatically brought (Y/n)'s hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against her thumb.

Even though the plaster was in the way, (Y/n) could still feel his lips against the pad of her thumb. She could feel the creases and indents in his lower lip that felt like a plush cushion against her skin. His lips were slightly bumpy in places from where he had been biting them out of nervous habit but they were still so delicate and plump. The more he pressed his lips against her thumb, the more tingling sensations (Y/n) felt under her skin and she could feel a touch of saliva when her thumb pressed against the inner parts of his lips. It made her feel like she was touching him intimately, that he was letting her in somewhere that no one else could go.

"Uncle Harry?"

The feeling disappeared. (Y/n) had never felt like something had been ripped away from her so quickly and rudely before now and she missed the feeling of his lips against her skin.

Harry was quick to pull away and spin round on his heels to look down at Ella who was staring up at him with her big blue eyes that were sparkling in the kitchen light. He guessed both his and (Y/n)'s senses had been dulled considering neither of them had heard or felt the presence of the little girl who had snuck up on them.

"What's up, little lady?" Bending down, Harry looked at Ella like she was the only person worth listening to in the world and she could see she had captured his full attention which only made her smile brighter.

"Are you mummy's boyfriend?" The sudden question floored Harry for a few brief moments and he turned to look behind him as if (Y/n) would see his unsure expression and tell him exactly what to say right now.

"Um, yeah he is baby."

"Do I still call you uncle Harry?" There was a surprised tone to Ella's voice but (Y/n) could clearly hear the excitement there which made her breathe in relief. She just had to hear Harry's answer to know if he was okay with her telling the kids this. They seemed to have silently agreed this is what they would tell them but (Y/n) knew Elliot would take it one of two ways, but with how he was following her around it might be a good thing to tell him.

Harry wanted stability for Elliot and this was going to help him with that as well as give Ella more security and stability by having someone her age living with them and having another father figure around, even if it was fake.

"You call me whatever you want, little lady."

[sunsetlixie]

Take Care of You- Felix/reader smut

Felix wants to try being dominated, and you’re more than willing to indulge.

sub!felix and dom!female reader

word count: 4,759

warnings: none? just typical smut things (language, generally dirty shit) and also this isn’t really a warning but Felix has a mommy kink in this lol

A/N- this is my first time ever posting on tumblr so the layout may be kind of weird?? this is also the first skz smut ive written so hopefully it isn’t terrible!! also i’m thinking about turning this into a multiple part thing if people actually like it!!

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。゜。°。°。°。

Felix had gotten done with a long day at the studio and he was in a weird mood. You two were lying in bed watching a show, and Felix was cuddled up to your side, playing with one of your hands distractedly. Now, your boyfriend was always very affectionate, even with his friends. That’s just who he is, he enjoys physical contact with people. But tonight he was being downright clingy. From the second he got home he was all over you, hugging you from behind in the kitchen while you made dinner, following you everywhere you went, sitting right next to you on the floor while you worked on school work at your desk. Now that you’d settled in for the night, he was trying to be as close to you as possible, every time you shifted positions he’d go with you so you kept touching. Now he readjusted himself so his head was on your chest and one of his legs was thrown over yours, and you sighed as he nuzzled his head into your chest, obviously wanting your attention.

“What’s up tonight Lix?” you asked, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair. You felt him shiver as you pushed your hand through his blonde locks, and he shut his eyes for a moment.

“What do you mean?” he asked quietly.

“You’re being very...affectionate tonight, more than usual.”

“I just want to be close to you,” he said, opening his eyes again and looking up at you. You smiled back at him when you saw his cute little face, his cheeks slightly red and his hair disheveled from you messing with it.

“Okay, just making sure nothing’s wrong,” you said, leaning down to rest your head on top of his. Sometimes when Felix was upset, he would be extra cuddly and clingy.

“Nope, nothing’s wrong,” he said, turning his attention back to the tv. You weren’t convinced though, because after a while you were starting to notice Felix getting fidgety, shifting his position frequently and squirming a bit. You noticed his discomfort and thought for a second that maybe he wasn’t feeling well, which made you worry again that something was wrong.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting a little strange,” you said, turning down the tv and looking down at your boyfriend. Felix brought a hand up to wipe tiredly at his eyes, shaking his head.

“I’m fine, I just,” he started, ending his sentence with a sigh.

“Just what? Did something happen today?” you asked worriedly.

“No! No, today was fine.”

“Then why are you upset?”

“I’m not upset, y/n, it’s just,” he started, looking away from you. You grabbed his hand to reassure him. “I just wanted to talk to you about something,” he said quietly. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why didn’t you just say so?” you asked.

“Well it’s kind of...it’s kind of embarrassing,” he admitted, bringing his hands up to hide his face.

“What do you mean?” you asked, reaching up and pulling his hands off of his reddening face.

“I don’t know, it’s just embarrassing to talk about,” he said, shifting uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed talking to me about anything, baby, I’m not going to judge you.” you said gently.

“I know, it’s just...I don’t want you to think I’m weird,” he said.

“You’re starting to freak me out, just tell me.” you laughed. Felix smiled nervously.

“I saw something and I want to try it,” he said, playing with his hands anxiously.

“What was it?” you asked. He bit his lip and looked down at his hands.

“Well it was a video, like a...you know,” he said. You smiled at his confession, he was so cute when he was nervous.

“What did the people in the video do?” you asked quietly, looking at him as he continued not making eye contact.

“Ugh, I hate talking about this, it’s so embarrassing,” he said, yet again burying his head in his hands.

“Why don’t you show me the video?” you asked. Felix’s eyes widened.

“You mean like, we watch it together?” he asked. You nodded.

“How am I supposed to know what they did in the video if I haven’t seen it?”

“O-okay,” Felix said, reaching over and grabbing his phone off the bedside table. Anticipation rose in your chest as he opened his browser and typed in the url to a very nsfw website. He eyed you nervously as the website loaded and you nodded to him, telling him it was okay to continue. He typed in a few words and pulled up a video titled “mommy takes care of her baby boy.” Your eyes widened in shock at the title, it was not at all what you were expecting him to pull up. Felix noticed your expression and threw his phone down on the bed, bringing his hands back up to cover his face in embarrassment.

“I knew you were going to think it’s weird. Forget about it, nevermind,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by his hands. You reached up and pulled his hands away from his face, not wanting him to feel embarrassed asking you to try something new.

“Hey. Look at me,” you said gently, tilting his chin so he was looking you in the eye. “I don’t think it’s weird. I never said that. I was just surprised is all. If this is something that you really want to try then I’m more than willing to try it with you,” you assured him. He swallowed harshly and broke eye contact again.

“I don’t know, this is so awkward, y/n. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I’ve told you before, anything you want to try is fine with me. I don’t want you to be embarrassed about what you’re into.” You reached over and grabbed his phone off the bed, the video still on the screen. You looked at Felix, asking silent permission to press play. He gave a small nod and you tapped the screen to play the video, holding the phone so both of you could see. It began pretty slow, and you tried to pay close attention to everything happening in the video so you knew exactly what your boyfriend wanted from you. In the video the girl was in control, which was something new. Usually sex with Felix was pretty tame, neither of you were more dominant or submissive, it kind of just happened. The idea of being a dom both scared you and thrilled you, making your chest tight with anxiety and excitement. The girl in the video worked slowly and teasingly, making her sub whine underneath her. The idea of having that control over Felix awoke something inside you that you’d never felt before, and you were suddenly so so glad that he brought this up. Felix again looked at you nervously out of the corner of his eye. You didn’t look back, too busy observing what was happening in the video. The way that the sub was squirming and begging by the end of the video made you feel something indescribable. You mindlessly trailed your hand up and down your boyfriend’s thigh as you watched the video. It should have felt awkward to just sit and watch that with him, but you were so encapsulated by what was happening in the video that it didn’t feel weird at all. You finally looked over at Felix towards the end and saw how red his face was, his hands shoved between his thighs and his eyes focused on the screen in front of you. He looked up from the video for a second, making quick eye contact before diverting his eyes again.

“I never knew you were into this kind of thing, Lix” you said in a low voice.

“I honestly didn’t know either until I saw this video and then I couldn’t stop imagining she was you,” he admitted. You smiled at his words, looking back to the video just as it was ending. You closed out the app and set his phone down, tightening your grip on his thigh.

“I don’t know anything about this so I might not be very great at it,” you warned him.

“I’m just so happy that you’re willing to try it, y/n, I don’t even care,” he promised. You smiled and shifted your position so you could look your boyfriend in the eyes, nervous energy building up inside you. You reached up and brushed Felix’s hair away from his red face, smirking while holding eye contact with his desperate eyes.

“So you want to be taken care of baby?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair. He leaned into your touch and sighed quietly.

“Yes,” he whispered, cheeks still burning red from embarrassment. You pinched one of his cheeks and he flinched a little.

“I think I can do that,” you said, trailing your hand from his face down to his chest and tugging at the collar of his shirt. “I’m gonna need you to take this off for me,” you said. He nodded and hastily sat up to pull the shirt over his head. You sat back for a moment and admired his body, his flat stomach and small frame glowing in the light.

“You’re staring,” he giggled, crossing his arms over his chest. You shook your head and reached out to grab one of his arms and pull it away from his chest.

“You’re just so pretty, let me look at you,” you cooed. He blushed as he set his arms to his sides and looked away.

“Why are you being shy? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” you questioned.

“Just feels different, I dont know,” Felix replied, shifting his position.

“Relax, baby. Let me take care of you.” You scooted closer to your boyfriend so you were in front of him and you pushed gently on his shoulders, giving him the hint to lie back on the bed. You watched him fall slowly and smiled at how pretty he looked all laid out for you. You sat next to him and ran a hand over the expanse of his chest, sending shivers through his body with your gentle touch. Your hand grazed lightly over his sensitive nipples and he arched his back, leaning into your touch. You knew this was a weak spot for your boyfriend, and you were going to use that to your advantage. You ran your hand back over the spot, lightly squeezing one of the buds between your fingers as Felix let out a soft whine. You were already enjoying the feeling of having him squirm under your touch, and you think you could definitely get used to this. You slowly leaned down and licked gently over one of his nipples, pulling away and blowing air on the spot you had just wet. Your boyfriend shivered at the cold sensation and you smiled at the look of lust and frustration building up in his face. You were never this slow with him and you knew it was killing him. You repeated your actions on the other nipple and then lightly bit down on the sensitive skin, causing Felix to let out a surprised “oh!” that quickly turned into a soft moan. You moved your lips again, kissing up his chest and onto his neck, before you swung a leg over him so you were straddling his lying body. You sat on his lower stomach, paying no attention to the buldge in his pants. He slightly shifted his hips up, looking for friction, but you weren’t giving it to him yet, you were making him wait. You leaned down and continued kissing up his neck, sucking a mark behind his ear.

“Y/nnnnn... you can’t do that,” Felix said, shifting away from where your mouth met his neck.

“Why not?” you asked innocently, although you already knew that he got shy about the boys seeing him marked up.

“Don’t want people to see...embarrassing,” he whined. You leaned down and brushed your lips against his ear, whispering in a low tone.

“You don’t want people to know who you belong to? You don’t want them to know that you’re here, lying down for me and letting me have my way with you?” you teased. Felix groaned at your words as you moved down, sucking another mark below his collarbone. You’d done this before, so you knew he wasn’t actually going to get upset- you would never do anything he wasn’t okay with. Felix’s breathing grew ragged, inhaling shaky breaths and exhaling quiet whines. The little noises he was making were turning you on incredibly, and part of you wanted to stop the teasing and just go at it. But this is how they did it in the video, and Felix seemed to be enjoying it, so you continued. You continued to leave wet kisses up and down his neck and chest area, moving up to his face but avoiding his lips. He bit down on his bottom lip, and you could tell he was trying really hard to hold himself back and be patient. You decided to reward him, finally pressing your lips to his. He relaxed into the kiss and immediately tried to push his tongue into your mouth, causing you to pull away for a moment.

“Eager, are we?” you smirked. He whined again at the loss of contact.

“You’re teasing,” he said, a small pout forming on his face.

“I get to do that, baby, I’m in charge,” you said, trailing a finger down his chest. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” you smiled sweetly.

“Can you please just kiss me?” he asked, his tone desperate and slightly bratty. You raised an eyebrow at his sudden change in behavior.

“I will this time, but cut the attitude in the future.” Felix gulped at your dominant tone but couldn’t reply as you pressed your lips back to his. He let you set the pace this time, and as much as you wanted to go agonizingly slow, at this point you were already too worked up to keep teasing. Deepening the kiss after a moment, you brought a hand up to tug at Felix’s hair, something you’d recently discovered he really enjoyed. He moaned softly into the kiss as you pulled at his blond locks, holding his head in place. Your teeth bit down and dug into his bottom lip gently, enough to draw a quiet moan from his mouth but not enough to draw blood. You pulled away, a string of saliva hanging between your lips. Felix looked up at you, blown out pupils filled with desperation.

“You look so pretty, baby boy,” his hips bucked up at your words, his face growing impossibly redder. “What is it? Do you like it when I tell you you’re pretty? Or when I call you baby boy?” you said, a teasing tone lacing your voice. He mumbled something quietly, but you couldn’t make out what he said. “Speak up Lix, I can’t hear you.”

“B-both,” he whispered. A smile crossed your face as he looked into your eyes longingly. You would never get over how cute he was when he was embarrassed.

“Awe, my baby boy likes to be praised, how cute,” you cooed, tracing your hand down the side of his face. Felix smiled shyly at your words, not breaking eye contact.

“You’ve been so patient for me, baby, do you think it’s time for me to reward you?” you asked. He nodded excitedly, but you weren’t giving him anything unless he used his words. “Words, sweetheart, tell me what you want.”

“Want you to- to reward me, I’ve been good,”

“How should I reward you?”

“Just touch me, please,”

“Touch you where? Here?” you asked, dragging a hand down his chest, which was now burning hot. He shook his head. “Here?” you asked, running your hand over the hickey you had given him, pressing your finger into the darkening bruise. He let out a soft whine but shook his head again.

“You’re going to have to tell me where, I’m not sure what you want.” You said, knowing damn well what he wanted from you but wanting to hear him say it himself. He groaned in frustration but spoke up.

“Down there, please, you know what I want,” he begged.

“Ohhh, you want me to touch you down here?” you asked, scooting down so you were now sitting on his thighs and bringing your fingers to the waistband of his pajama pants. He nodded eagerly as you toyed with the drawstring on the front of his pants.

“Beg.”

His eyes widened nervously at the dominant tone you were taking, it was something he definitely wasn’t used to. But this is what he wanted, so he had to play along.

“Please touch me, I need it, I’ve been so good for you mommy,” your breath hitched at the name, when you’d heard it in the video you thought it was a little weird, but now that it was coming out of Felix’s mouth it was the hottest thing in the world. He noticed your sharp inhale and looked at you worriedly. “Is it...is it okay if I call you that? I won’t if you don’t like it-“ he rambled.

“No baby, I love it. I really do.” you assured him. He smiled in relief as you leaned down to pull at the waistband of his pants. He lifted his hips so you could pull them down, repositioning yourself so you could pull his pants all the way off. His hard cock sprung up and smacked against his stomach, red and already leaking precum.

“So needy for me, aren’t you baby boy?” you said, taking in the sight of his naked body but not touching him yet. The power you felt was exhilarating, Felix fully nude and trembling under you, while you were fully clothed and in control. He nodded and you brought a hand down to his neglected member, but he reached out and stopped you before you could touch him. You raised an eyebrow and he used his other hand to grab at the hem of your shirt.

“Can you take this off? Please, wanna see you,” he asked, tugging gently at your soft cotton shirt. You smiled and reached down to grab the bottom of the shirt, beginning to pull it up over your head.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” you replied, tossing the shirt to the side, your top half now bare as you hadn’t been wearing anything under the shirt. Felix eyed your chest, taking in the sight of your breasts that he loved so much. You thought about continuing to tease him by not letting him touch you, but you thought he’d had enough teasing for tonight. Besides, you were supposed to be taking care of him.

“You want to touch, baby boy?” you asked, already knowing what his response would be.

“Can I?”

“Go ahead,” you gave him permission, leaning forward to give him better access. He reached up and gently caressed your breasts, thumbing over your nipples. You arched your back in response to his touch, slightly grinding down where you were sitting on his legs. This was the first time you had been touched all night, and you hadn’t realized how much your body was aching for release. You didn’t let it go on too long, because tonight was about Felix. You leaned down once more to press a quick kiss to his lips before sitting back up and finally bringing a hand to his member. You slowly wrapped your hand around his girth and began to move it up and down at a teasingly slow pace, Felix arching up into your touch.

“Patience, baby boy,” you said, using your other hand to press his body back down into the mattress. “Let mommy take care of you, okay?” you said. Felix whined again but nodded in compliance, relaxing his body and placing his hands down at his sides. You slid your hand up over his slit, collecting the built up precum and using it as lubricant for your hand. Felix let out soft breathy moans every time you touched the head of his painfully hard dick, and you knew your pace was torturous for him, but you were going to see how long you could keep it up. As you stroked him slowly, you reached your other hand down and dipped it below the waistband of your sweatpants, dying for some relief of your own. Your fingers found their way to your clit and you rubbed slow circles at the same pace as your other hand was moving on Felix’s length.

“You’re so beautiful, seeing you like this made mommy so wet,” you whispered, making eye contact with your boyfriend as you pleasured both of you.

“Want to touch you too,” Felix whined, reaching out a hand towards your sweatpants that you still hadn’t removed. You took the hand off his length and swatted his hand away, as he whimpered at the denial and the loss of contact.

“Not now, baby, this is about you,” you hummed, grabbing his hand and placing it down on his stomach. You put your hand back on his dick, staying at the same pace. You knew it was killing him, but you weren’t going to speed up until he asked you to. The request came sooner than later, though, as Felix almost immediately groaned in an obvious attempt to tell you something was wrong.

“What’s wrong Lixie?” you asked, stopping your hand’s movement. He looked up at you with pleading eyes.

“Need more, faster,” he whined.

“Oh, is this not enough? You need more than what mommy is giving you? Good boys aren’t greedy, you know,” you said, resuming again at the slow pace. Felix’s eyes widened at your words as he scrambled to speak.

“N-No! No, I promise I’m a good boy, it just hurts, I’m sorry,” he pleaded. His voice tugged at your heart, you weren’t actually upset with him, you just wanted to tease him a little more. You suddenly sped up your pace without any warning, and Felix let out a strangled moan at your actions.

“Is this what you want?” you ask, stroking him at a quick pace and occasionally thumbing over his sensitive head. He nods, but you want to hear it.

“I said is this what you want?” you repeat, and he gets the hint.

“Yes mommy, fuck, so good,” he cries, the hand you placed on his stomach moving up to roam over his chest. He looks at you as if asking permission to touch himself, and you nod. His hand ghosts over his nipple before he brings it back and pinches it lightly, rolling the nub between his fingers and clenching his eyes shut. The sight is incredible, you can’t help but stare at the look of bliss and slight frustration on his face as he’s being touched by your hand and his own. You speed the pace of the hand you’re using to pleasure yourself, feeling yourself getting closer to release as you watch Felix bring his other hand to his chest, using both to lightly touch his sensitive nipples. Your hand on Felix stutters as you bring yourself to release, arching your back and moaning lowly. The relief washes over you and you enjoy it for just a moment before remembering the task at hand. You open your eyes to see Felix, eyes wide and staring at your blissed-out expression, mouth slightly open- which gives you an idea. You remove your hand from Felix’s member for a moment, and you also pull the hand that you’d been using on yourself out of your sweatpants, feeling Felix’s eyes on you as you bring your fluid soaked fingers to his mouth.

“Wanna taste?” you asked. He didn’t even bother to answer, eagerly taking your fingers into his mouth and sucking languidly. His tongue swirled around your digits for a moment as he looked straight into your eyes. You smiled brightly at him, pulling your fingers out of his mouth with a popping sound.

“Good boy,” you cooed, wiping the wet fingers on your sweatpants and leaning down to gently place a kiss on Felix’s forehead. “Now it’s all about you, okay? You’ve been so good for me, I think it’s time you get some relief too, do you agree?” you asked, sitting back up in the position you’d previously been in. Felix looked up at you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face, his naturally innocent appearance corrupted by his swollen lips and lust-blown eyes.

“Yes mommy,” he said, swallowing hard as you moved down in between his legs so you could lean down and give a small lick to the tip of his length. He shivered at the contact after you hadn’t touched him for a while, and you spit into your hand before wrapping it around the base of his dick. you lowered your mouth down onto his length, taking only the head into your mouth at first and sucking lightly. You slowly moved down his length, your hand working the part your mouth couldn’t reach. Felix moaned quietly, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle it. You pulled off of his dick with a lewd popping noise, sitting up to look him in the eye.

“Don’t hold back baby boy, i want to hear how good mommy makes you feel,” you said, and he let out a small whimper. You lowered your head to take him into your mouth again, this time setting a faster pace with your hand and your mouth working at the same time. Felix was overly sensitive from all of the teasing you’d put him through, so you knew he wouldn’t last long. You could really tell by the way he was trying his best to keep from bucking up into your mouth. You occasionally pulled up to suck lightly on just the tip, knowing how sensitive he was there. Felix let out a high pitched whine, signaling to you that he was about to finish, when you remembered how the video had ended. Usually, you would just let Felix finish in your mouth, but you had a different idea.

“Oh fuck, mommy, I’m gonna-“ he started, and you pulled your mouth off of his length, bringing him to his climax with only your hand, letting him spill all over his stomach with a loud strangled moan. Felix came down from his high breathing heavily, eyes closed and hands above his head. You smirked as you used a finger to scoop up the cum from his stomach, and he looked down at you confused for a moment before he realized what you were doing. You brought the finger up to his mouth, parting his lips with your thumb and sliding the digit between them so he could taste himself. This wasn’t something you’d done before, but it was how the video ended, so you thought you’d try it. Felix hummed around your finger as he sucked the liquid off it, swallowing his own fluids. When your finger was clean, you pulled it out of his mouth, again wiping it on your sweatpants and then bringing your hand up to caress Felix’s face before placing a gentle kiss to his swollen lips. You could feel him smile into the kiss before you pulled away, grabbing his discarded shirt and using it to wipe the rest of the cum off his stomach.

“Was that good, baby?” you asked, moving off of his legs so you could cuddle up against his side.

“Holy shit, y/n, that was amazing,” he said, his breathing still heavy and deep.

“I had no idea my baby boy was so kinky,” you teased, Felix’s face flushing red again as it had just calmed down.

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Felix mumbled, causing you to raise an eyebrow and sit up to look him in the eye.

“Really?” you asked. He nodded in response and you got excited just thinking about all the new things you’ll get to try with him. “You’ll have to show me sometime, but for now I think it’s time for you to sleep, you look exhausted,” you said, but by the time you finished your sentence, Felix was already drifting off into sleep.

[savrenim]

i am running thru ur tumblr to find ONE POST to cite for tvtropes, and i agree so hard with the soulmate stuff. what if my soulmate is an awful abuser, i want the choice to NOT be with them without some painful physical consequence or loss of perception if i don't date them just because the universe said we were "meant to be"... plus if it's just a magic thing it "feels" more justified in-universe that soulmates exist and less like an ass pull so you could justify getting 2 characters together

oH gods this is something that I have SO many feelings about that probably is slightly informed by my own orientation and preferences, but. feelings. this got long so it's going under the cut

so there are three and a half major things that I have a problem with in terms of general soulmate tropes that are "there is one person who is your perfect romantic partner" (which to be fair I've seen a number of soulmate AUs do that trope with the addendum "although it only applies to a certain percentage of the population / not everyone has soulmates / everyone has soulmates but not everyone has SUPER PERFECT ROMANTIC soulmates" which at least somewhat avoids the statistic inevitability of abusive soulmates if combined with Fate Can See The Future And So Your Fated Soulmate Just Won't Be) and these complaints aren't even from the "I'm poly where's my poly rep" kind of place which is a whole 'nother bag of worms, but let's go:

1. I aggressively believe that love is a choice. Love is something that is built, not predetermined before you meet someone. There might be initial compatibility aspects going down when you first meet someone, but, like. statistically there are more than seven and a half billion people on this planet. If there is only a single person perfectly meant for you, again, statistically, you are not going to meet them, I've seen the figure thrown that on average a person will meet on the order 10,000 people in their lifetime but let's even go 100,000, you will meet 0.001% of the world's population. Unless you think some sort of divine coincidence or fate is guiding you to a soulmate which throws free will out the window and then I can't help you but, like. discarding the math, I think it is actively harmful to a relationship to believe that it can be sustained on chemistry or predetermined 'but we're perfect for each other' alone. It requires work. You choose who is in your life, you choose who stays in your life, you choose who you want to be important to you based on what they contribute to your life and what you contribute to theirs.

(I am assuming this ask is at least partially in reaction to my soulmate post, which actually the fic in question, a buried and a burning flame, has since gone up. I highly recommend reading Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard first, but besides the setup for arson wizards that alas is never used because the fire mage with a soulmate in question is Responsible, I decided to both tackle 'okay soulmarks trope too let's throw it in', which leads to the not-really-a-spoiler passage that appears fairly early on about actually the full layout (albeit with less detail on the 'yeah for mages it just helps ground their magic, nothing romantic about it' part) of my Soulmate Rules:

Soulmates existed, both in the Empire of Astandalas and across the Wide Seas. They just worked slightly differently in Vangavaye-ve than the rest of the worlds.

The rest of the Empire seemed to view soulmates as a monolith. From what Cliopher had been able to glean, the tradition was grounded in their magic. Magi had soulmates, or rather, magic-workers would each have a soulmate. Cliopher wasn't clear if all magic-workers had a soulmate, or if magic-workers simply could have one, but there was always a mage in soulmate pairs, and it was always a pair. There were no marks, no visible signs involved, as soulmates were something that were sensed with magic. They were permanent, intrinsic, and to be recognized immediately.

To Wide Sea Islanders, soulmates were a choice.

The soul-marks, lana and lani-voa, would appear the first time you touched someone that you had chosen to love, with the full knowledge that you loved them. Cliopher had the marks of his mother and father, his sisters, Basil and Dimiter, Bertie and Ghilly. His skin was covered lovingly with the colors of his love, marks that he had gotten used to concealing with long sleeves in Astandalas when he had gotten tired of the constant staring at his 'primitive tattoos'.

Buru Tovo had been the only one to give him lani-voa, a greater mark of the soul. The pattern, with its thick lines and twisting design in a deep blue, extended over the entirety of his left arm and shoulder. They were the dances of his family pressed onto his skin, and he had traced them over with reverent and feather-light touch for months after he had received them. A lani-voa marked someone who had changed your life for the better in a deep and irrevocable way. It was a great honor to have even one.

And now, with the gold stretching up his right arm, new patterns that he didn't recognize stretching up from a handprint of pure gold that was expanding the longer he held that first contact with Tor—

now he had two.

(Buru Tovo is Cliopher's great uncle, for context. In fact, everyone listed there is either a familial or platonic relationship, with a single relationship that used to be romantic but settled into platonic.))

so. yeah. Love is a choice! The Biggest Of Moods! any soulmate lore that undermines that is a Bad Message, in my opinion.

The emphasis also on platonic soulmates leads into my second point:

2. I have found in my life that platonic relationships that I have are and have always been as important if not moreso than the romantic relationships. the emphasis of a single romantic relationship as the most important relationship that you can be in maybe fits for some people, but as a generalization to absolutely everyone I think is toxic and harmful. and not just for aro people! I'm not aro, but I would be miserable to write off my friends as Less Important And Meaningful to me than my parter, whom I love with all my heart! (I've actually ended up in my life settling into what I call the red/blue/gold system for 'relationships that I treat with the importance that society treats romantic relationships', but that's a personal thing). The standard soulmate trope tends to really solidly deliver the thesis of "there is a single romantic relationship that is the single most important relationship in your life" and I just think that's a very bad thesis.

3. Finally, I think the emphasis on permanent/forever is a harmful one for relationships in general. People change. you drift closer to people or further away from them. you move, they move, your schedules change, your interests change, your life changes. if you are living with a romantic partner you're going to keep seeing each other every day, but that doesn't stop you from changing as a person, which means see Point 1 Love Is A Choice; but even if you choose to remain together, you are probably eventually going to Ship Of Theseus your entire relationship. I think it is an important message that if that happens and it is no longer a relationship that is as deeply positive as it once was in your life, you don't...have to keep it out of loyalty to what it once was.

It's okay for people to drift out of your life that were once the most important person in your life. It doesn't invalidate how important and meaningful that relationship used to be, and it isn't a betrayal to let yourself and them and your relationships change and evolve. The idea that something has to be forever for it to matter I think is the idea about soulmates that I disagree with the most. Probably because that was the hardest lesson for me to learn as a kid and a teenager, and the life lesson that I am proudest for learning.

3.5 your point 'plus if it's just a magic thing it "feels" more justified in-universe that soulmates exist' is exactly on the nose, literally I am unable to write anything without attempting to write down a universal theory of everything for How The World Works. if something soulmate-wise is going down even if it never appears on the page you bet your ass I have either figured out the general cosmology and theology of "are there gods or divine forces who have instituted this policy? if so, why? what purpose does it serve", or in the case of abaabf which already has such interesting magic rules in the original canon of "is there an evolutionary reason for soulmates to exist" which I don't go tracing out full evolutionary biology for a fic necessarily mostly because I would want the full evolutionary biology in canon to make sure mine is compliant enough but that sure as hell does translate to "if soulmates exist and it's not for the reason of Because Godlike Beings Said So, there better be a practical purpose". I find at least long-form soulmate fics (ie things With Plot and a Developed Setting that aren't just "let's do a ficlet with this well-known trope") that Do Not Feel Like They've At Least Thought About Why Soulmates Happen To Exist hurt my soul. which I think slightly intersects with my "I hate it when the rules of the universe/ laws of physics are human-centric" instead of "the base rules which were not designed for humans came first, and how the human world works arose in reaction to them" and. yeah. consistent desire to know at least for myself why things are set up the way that they're set up which gods ifmlam is wild and completely bullshit and pulls from quantum multiverse philosophy I started writing that thing when I was like. eighteen? nineteen? but at least it's there so I can be consistent.

as a caveat for everything above: I don't actually think that fiction, fanfiction in particular, needs to perfectly reflect what A Good Relationship or A Good Message About Relationships should be. it is a very human desire in a chaotic and confusing world to want a simple, absolute, binary thing to hold onto. fiction is a place for escapism or wish fulfillment or even exploring things that you wouldn't actually want in real life, I think that the movement in fandom/fiction that all of the messaging in your story should match the advice you'd give for a real-life setup is a bad and harmful one. mostly my opinions on soulmates and hence desire to do inversions of the soulmate trope in my fic and things like the red/blue/gold system and heavy emphasis on platonic relationships in original work that I'm writing is about a desire to see representation for me and the things I love and find important and my sort of relationships in the stories that are a big part of my life. but I am really glad that in doing so I seem to have struck a chord in other people, who maybe want to see the same thing!

[babbushka]

Biting Dust - Ch. 1

Life ain’t too easy for a woman, ‘specially not a woman on the run like you. With a bounty on your head and gunpowder in your nose, you’ve grown adjusted to a life of solitude away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. That is, until you meet one particular man who’s got a face you’d only ever seen in your dreams – or on wanted posters. And when he offers you a proposition that sounds too good to be true, well. You don’t think your life will ever be the same again...

Outlaw!Kylo Ren x Reader 

Tumblr Masterlist | Available on AO3

5.5k ; Warnings: Mentions of murder, hanging, arson. 

                                                  -----------------

You wonder, sometimes. Wonder how it all turned out like this, how this was the life you now led. You wonder if you could go back and do anything over, if you’d do anything different. Sometimes you don’t do so much wondering, there ain’t the time when you’re on the run with sheriffs at your back; but times like this, with nothing but the uncharted desert sprawling out in front of you, all you could do was wonder.

Something wisps up into your eyes and you cringe as you scrub it out -- sand, stinging and coarse. Nothing but sand, as far as the eye could see. You really fucking hate sand, you think, as the rising sun carries on up into the sky, bringing with it a gentle enough breeze that makes your horse, Agnes, toss her mane in delight. She whinnies softly, and you pet the back of her neck as she does, trudging through the sand after a long night of riding, a long night straight through the desert.

“Almost there,” You reassure her, “Shouldn’t be too much farther now.”

You’d robbed a bank the day before, and damn it all that had proven to be a poor enough decision. Ain’t no money in the bank, nothing at all, nothing but a whole group of cowardly men who were quick to whistle for the dogs that went bitin’ at your ankles.

They paid for that offense against you, had paid with their lives.

If only they had had any money for you to take with you, as you sped off into the night, not daring to stop until you had put enough distance between you and the men with steel.

Now, you don’t even have robbing on your mind. No, you think as Agnes chuffs and complains about the tiredness in her hooves, you’d settle for something as simple as a cool and dry bed, a hot bath, maybe enough time to clean your clothes and have a bite to eat before you’re off again.

A bed, bath, and crust of bread which you were looking forward to in the next town over. Robbing that bank hadn’t been entirely useless after-all, you use the morning sunlight to figure out this chicken-scratch cartography off the map you’d quickly grabbed before dashing out of the blazing bank, flames engulfing everyone and everything inside it as you make your escape.

“If we did this right, we should be there before the sun comes up over the canyons.” You tell her.

She only chuffs again, and you know that she too will be looking forward to a soak in a lake somewhere to wash the blood off her hide.

If you weren’t so damn tired, you might appreciate the view. The marbling of the earth around you as the sun begins to shine down on the many layers, millions of years in the making, should be breathtaking. The all-encompassing orange and reds, the slight hints of purple, the occasional dappling of yellow speak to a world ancient, as old as time.

It really puts into perspective, this whole thing, your whole life. See, dammit there you go thinkin’ again, wondering again. You clench your jaw and urge Agnes forward a little further, knowing she really can’t take much more before needing a rest. You know, but still you ask her gently to keep on moving, because the sooner you get into town, the sooner the both of you can rest.

“I think…I think that’s it, just up ahead.” You say softly to the old gal, patting her shoulder encouragingly. “You did it, thank you, thank you Aggie.”

Your horse catches wind of the scent of something, something that excites her, and suddenly she’s bolting in the direction of the town, of the piece of civilization that you can just barely see. There’s civilization of some sort, that’s for sure, you can see the little specs of buildings out in the distance. There’s many of them, which is good, really good. It doesn’t look as big as a trading post, but that’s okay – there’s less of a chance that anyone would know who you are.

You hold on tight as Agnes gallops through the canyons, falcons flying overhead, their shadow blurring past on the sandy ground as the wind whips through your hair. You feel elated, feel like you could fly, just like those falcons, flying and soaring straight to salvation in the form of a sheltered room and a drink of water.

Your canteen isn’t empty, but anything left you have will go to Agnes. She can’t tell you when she’s so thirsty she’s half to death, so you don’t ever let her get close. Your last sip of water was two days ago, and you know you can hold out a little longer, will drink the bathwater if you have to, but Agnes does more hard work and so she gets the water.

None of that matters, because Agnes is sprinting, and you’re reminded of why she’s called the fastest Beast in the West. Huge plumes of sand kickback as her hooves dig into the earth, bringing you closer closer closer to the town, at a speed which will no doubt raise suspicion, will no doubt cause unwanted attention.

“Not so fast there girl!” You calm her down, “I know, I’m excited too, but not so fast! They’ll start shootin’ at us!”

That seems to make enough sense to her, because her breakneck pace reduces down to a trot pretty quickly. Your hair is tangled and in your mouth and eyes, your hat nearly flung straight off your head, but all is well. Nothing had fallen out of the knapsacks on the saddle, and the entrance of the town is only a few more hundred feet away.

“Woahh, stop for a minute.” You command her, tugging on the reigns ever so slightly. She looks over her shoulder at you, and you know you’ve spent too much time alone when you can begin to read the annoyed look in her eye. “Just a minute, I need to change.”

Hopping down from Agnes, you take her by the reigns and guide her behind a large wide stone which juts out into the air some couple dozen feet. You’re just past the edge of the canyons now, but you’re thankful for these little hidey spots, because they’re the perfect cover for swapping out clothing.

Clothing was crucial a lot of the time, for you to go through the world unnoticed. It wasn’t all that common for outlaws to have more than one set of something, and you use that to your advantage, stripping down completely naked right there in the middle of the desert. Stuffing the blood-stained and filthy riding clothes into one of the knapsacks, you exchange that for a beautifully clean and well maintained dress and undergarments. It wasn’t fancy like some high society woman might have, but this particular shade of blue cotton looked nice on your skin tone.

It reminds you of your old life, how you would wear something like this damn near every day, not just on special occasions where a disguise was necessary. The cotton was blue and the cut was perfectly flattering. The high neck concealed some unsavory scars, and the puffed sleeves accentuated your frame. There was some frilly detailing around the chest which you thought was a nice touch, but most of all, it buttoned down the front instead of down the back, which was nothing short of a lifesaver, when you had to dress all by yourself.

Over a clean pair of undergarments and petticoat this dress goes, and back up onto Agnes you climb, your transformation complete. You now look nothing like a filthy sharp-shootin’ bank lootin’ outlaw, instead you look like…well, something far more innocent than that.

If you can just keep your head down and stay out of the way for the rest of the day, not bother anyone and leave first thing a morning from now, you’ll be on to bigger and better adventures. Nevermind that your entire life feels like running away from something instead of towards something, nevermind.

“Show time Aggie.” You tell her, nudging her hindquarters with your boots once more.

                                                   -----------------

The layout of the town is as basic as they come, which you appreciate. Two long strips of main buildings on either side of a dirt road, beautiful wooden structures some two stories high.  Some of them have got signs hanging from the porch denotin’ that that’s the general store, that there’s the post office. Some others have their names painted on the window, letting you know that there’s the bathhouse and over yonder there’s the armory.

No bank, you notice.

What you do notice, is the large saloon right at the end of the road, a culdesac of sorts, and you are sure that you hear the heavens open up and shine down on you, angels singing, because there’s a small sign that proudly announces vacancies. The building is huge, three stories tall and framed with the most beautiful wooden support beams with decorative carving. There’s music coming from inside, distant strumming of guitars and harmonicas that seem cheerful and jovial, and you’re glad that this town isn’t immediately hostile.

While you’re busy trying not to weep of relief that you’ll have a relatively safe spot to lay your head, a spot to let Agnes rest, the townsfolk are busy noticing you. They must not get many visitors round these parts, because everyone you pass stops in their tracks and stares.

They don’t exactly look unfriendly, just confused, as if they’d never seen a lone woman ride into town before – and maybe they haven’t. Oh well, you think with the hint of a smile as you tip your hat to a little girl with beautifully thick and long braids down her back, you can only hope to be an inspiration.

There’s men bargaining about something who stop and turn to you, women who drop baskets of bread as you pass. The children which laugh and play round polished bronze statues in the courtyard all halt and whisper amongst themselves, wondering who you are, what you could want, why you’ve come.

You just smile at them, show them all you mean no harm, knowing that this is their home, and you’re only passing through. This seems to appease the adults, but the children with their wide-eyed curiosity aren’t so satisfied. You try not to chuckle as parents have to steer their sons and daughters away from the road to keep them from rushing straight up to you and asking a million questions.

“You rest here, eat up.” You whisper to Agnes when you finally approach the end of the road, hopping off her back as elegantly as possible, leading her to a covered set of posts and a trough of water and feed, tying up her rope so she can’t go wanderin’ anywhere – not that she would.

With a deep breath of courage, knowing that your gun was hidden safely inside a makeshift pocket in the dress, should you need it, you push through the double swinging doors of the saloon.

All at once, the music, the chatter, the jovial laughter and clinking of glasses grinds to a screeching halt, as every patron of the bar stops and turns towards you. You can feel the weight of their stares, but you hold your ground, keep your chin up.

“Sorry to disturb,” You clear your throat there in the doorway, “But is this where a lady might be able to rent a room for the night?”

At the question, the saloon deems you to not be a threat at all, and you can practically taste the way the tension in the air dissolves. A lady looking for a room wasn’t nearly that interesting, not compared to a winning hand of cards, or the dregs of a beer, and you’re glad for it.

“Up the stairs.” The elderly bartender smiles at you real friendly-like as he shines some glasses.

“Thank you kindly.” Your curtsey is rusty, and your entire body aches from the exceptionally long journey, but you ignore the protest of your sore joints as your botos carry you over to the staircase and you ascend up away from the bar.

The second floor lobby of the saloon looks like a proper hotel, which surprises you. There’s a woman at a front desk just beyond the stairs, and she sure seems excited to see you. She’s a portly woman with greying hair plaited nicely in braids that rest along her chest, but she’s got a sharp glimmer to her eye, a glimmer you can appreciate.

“Well hello there! You lookin’ for a room?” She calls over to you, beckons you towards the front desk.

You take your hat off and hold it between your two hands, your own hair twisted and pinned into the messiest bun you’d ever done just so it didn’t look such a wreck from the long ride. You walk over to the desk and are more than grateful when she offers you a cup of crisp cool water.

“Yes ma’am, I am, my name is Mary Elizabeth Sampson,” You lie, “I saw the sign out front and was hopin’ that them vacancies might still be around.”

You try your best to not slam back the water the second the glass is in your hand, instead you bring it up to your lips in a measured sip, savoring the way the clean smooth taste of it travels in rivulets down your throat. You would never take this for granted, water.

Never in a hundred years would you not be eternally thankful for this elixir of life. The old woman at the desk smiles at you with a slight amusement, for she must know how badly you want to chug it. Instead of saying anything about it though, she pulls out a thick book and opens it up onto the desk, flips to the first blank slot.

“You’re in luck – we’re a fair price and good for it. Beds cleaned every day, breakfast lunch and dinner brought right up to you if you’d like from the bar downstairs. We’ve even got a hot bath out back, although that’s an extra price.” She says it so casually that you nearly miss it, but there ain’t no denying the way you choke in your excitement at the luxury of this place.

“How much would one night, meals and a bath cost, altogether?” You wipe water off your chin with the back of your hand, lick it off straight from your dirty knuckles, heart thrumming in your chest.

Were you dreaming? This place sounded like damn near a dream, you can’t help but think. It’s got everything you had asked for, and seemed nice enough to boot. You know your purse is light, you’ve only got five gold dollars to your name since the bank last night proved to be a bust. You’re hoping beyond hope that she doesn’t take your last coin – but you know that you’d give it to her if you had to.

“Altogether you’re lookin’ at about a buck fifty.” She replies, relieving you immensely. She points out the prices of the amenities on a piece of paper she pulls out from behind the desk so you know she’s not just high-ballin’ you, “Fifty cents for the room, buck for food and bath. You won’t find a fairer price around.”

“Do you happen t’have change? I’ve only got solid coins, I’m afraid.” You’re quick to show that that’s acceptable, more than acceptable, as you reach into your other pocket – the one that doesn’t have the gun – for a little drawstring purse.

You pull out two dollars, try not to think about how light your purse becomes from it, and slide it across the desk. The old woman clamps her teeth around the coins to make sure they’re good, and is very pleasantly surprised when she sees that they are.

“I sure do, here’s the key to your room, it’ll just be down the hall and to the left.” She hands you the leftover fifty cents, and an old iron key from a series of hooks up on the wall. You gratefully accept both items, and return the glass to her, now empty of every last drop of water, prompting her to say, “You know, it’s funny. I’ve been runnin’ this hotel for ten years and I ain’t never had two customers in two days. Is there some sorta movement happenin’ ‘cross the West?”

Your eyebrows shoot up at that, at there being another stranger. No wonder they had all stopped and stared so dramatically, you think. The townsfolk might think there must be something going on, to have two visitors so close together. You shrug in earnest though, trying to be as non-descript as possible, not give anything away one way or the other.

“I think there’s always going to be some sorta movement, but anything specific I can’t say for sure.” Your answer is open enough that the woman catches on and chuckles, waves you off and begins to step away from the desk, off back to do who knows what.

“I won’t keep ya, it’s so early you must’ve ridden through the night. I’ll bring breakfast up shortly, you just go on and get comfortable.” She says, and you nod in thanks before --

“Oh! Oh – wait, before you go, my horse, I’ve got a horse. Is there an extra charge to groom and board her for the night? She’s out eatin’ from the trough right now, I don’t want to go skippin’ out on any bills.” You rush back to the desk, and with all your commotion, the old woman can’t help but laugh.

“No Miss Sampson, we’ll take care of her for free. You go on and rest now.” She’s firm and kind, and you’re grateful for it.

In fact, you’re grateful enough that when she’s out of sight beyond the desk, you reach over and open the drawer where she took your payment, and you drop the change she had given you back into the little slot she’d taken it from, a silent thanks for the kindness, and lack of questions.

As you turn away for the final time to head towards your room, you stop cold in your tracks.

For up on the wall is a series of wanted posters, all printed and hung up recently, thick black ink letters boasting grand rewards.

Among them, your heart thuds a little bit quicker in your chest, is your name.

                                      WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

                                      (Y/N) ‘ANGEL EYES’ (L/N)

                       MURDERESS – ARSONIST – BANK ROBBERY

                                           REWARD - $25,000

 The image of your face is crudely drawn, so much so that you barely recognize yourself. They didn’t get a single one of your features right – but who could blame them. You never left any witnesses, never left anyone alive. Still, it’s enough that your name is up there, your real name.

Slightly above your wanted poster, is a poster you’ve seen damn near everywhere. Part of you is proud, proud that you’re movin’ on up the hierarchy of danger, as it were. You recall the days where Sheriffs were advertising only a couple hundred bucks for your head. Now you were a whole quarter of a hundred grand, which surely had to mean something, some sort of stepping on up in the criminal world.

The poster above yours though, now that man was a legend.

                   PROCLOMATION OF THE GOVERNOR OF KANSAS

     REWARD FOR THE CAPTURE OF EXPRESS AND TRAIN ROBBERS

                     GANG HEADED BY NOTORIOUS MURDERER

                                                  KYLO REN

                                                   $100,000

 Kylo Ren, now that was a name. And what a name for such an outlaw! He was well known all across the desert, in every canyon and mountain, every cliffside and town and trading post had his face slapped up on the walls.

Well, not his face.

No one had ever seen his face. Unlike you, he frequently left witnesses, people to tell the story of the chaos that took place that day, people to spur on the legends of his greatness. He was a train robber, one of the meanest around. They said he was a Pony Express boy back in the day, and had dodged death at nearly every turn. Seems as though he turned a page and started dealing out blows rather than taking them, him and his notorious gang who call themselves the Knights of Ren, like somethin’ out of a medieval fairy tale.

The photo on the poster, despite not showing anything other than a black bandana and a blind eye, seems to stare straight through to your soul.

You wonder if you’ll ever get up there, get up to $100,000. It doesn’t do to dwell though, and you know that if that old woman were to come back and see you staring she might get suspicious, so you just move along.  

                                                   -----------------

The room isn’t much more than four walls and a bed, but you don’t care – this is the first time you’ve seen a bed in weeks, possibly in months. Losing track of the days was a bad habit of yours, but everything begins to blend in together when you’re out there, out in the desert. All you have are sun ups when the heat is so stifling as it ripples in waves across the sand, and the sun downs with the venomous critters that’ll kill you dead if they manage to get a hold of you.

Slipping off your shoes, you tuck yourself under the sheets and let your eyes close. It feels good, this. Feels good to not have to worry about imminent danger. You’re here tucked up, Agnes is out enjoying fresh water and food, and though your stomach rumbles, you know that eventually breakfast is on its way.

It mustn’t be any later than ten in the morning, but you’re sure you could sleep the whole day away anyway. It’d do you good, would keep you out of the way. Hopefully the folks around would forget about you entirely, and there’d be no trouble.

The door knocks then, and you suppress a groan as you get back out from the covers, and go to open the door. On the other side is the woman, holding a wooden tray with a bowl of steaming hot porridge, johnnycakes, and a fresh brewed mug of coffee.

“Sorry to disturb, I just wanted to get this to ya while it was still hot.” She says, and you invite her in by opening up the door a little further. “The stable boys are givin’ your horse a good wash right now, she’ll be boarded up in the stable right on the side, should you want to ride her ‘round at some point in the day.”

“Thank you ever so kindly, but I think she and I’ll just catch up on some much needed sleep.” You gratefully accept the tray, put it right on the edge of the bed where it won’t be disturbed. The food smells delicious, better than anything you’d had in weeks, and you can’t wait to dig in.

The old woman regards you for a moment, and while you’re turned away from her, she says ever so softly,

“Is it a man?”

Your hands still just as you go to pick up the coffee, and you sigh.

“Pardon?” You ask, turning to face her slowly, knowing exactly what she means but needing to play dumb enough so that she doesn’t know that you know.

“What you’re runnin’ from. Is it a man?” She asks again.

You sit down on the bed, warming your palms with the mug.

Casting a glance out the window, you see the townspeople milling about in the street, all going along with their daily business. Once upon a time, that was you. It feels like an eon ago, and it might as well be, because you know that you can never return to a life like that, a life like the one you watch from your window. Never again.

She’s still standing there, and you don’t want to be rude, so you swallow your pent-up feelings and simply shrug sheepishly.  

“That obvious, ain’t it?” You put on a façade of shyness, even though it’s not really a lie, not really.

“No.” The old woman huffs out a little laugh, putting her hands on her hips and surprising you by saying, “I’ve just been in your position, and I know kindness don’t come often.”

“The visitor who came through yesterday…” You suddenly grow curious, “What were they like? Are they still here?”

She waves you off though, probably thinking you’re insinuating that a man might be following you now. And that may very well be true, very well could be the case. You burned that bank down to the ground but that doesn’t mean someone could’ve sniffed out your trail and was headed straight for you. The woman shakes her head reassuringly, and your curiosity both grows and lessens.

“Nah Miss he’s long gone. Sheriff had him dealt with when he caught him trying to steal one of the horses out of the sheriff’s own stable, if you can believe it!” She chuckled, making your eyebrows shoot up.

“When you say ‘dealt with’..?” You trail off, wondering what kind of people these were.

“Oh well hanged of course. They don’t hang horse thieves where you’re from?” She asks you as if such an idea were unheard of to her.

That’s very interesting, you think. Very interesting indeed, such a sharp punishment for a crime that didn’t even happen. Most towns would have given the poor guy a trial, but he was only here for less than a day before hanged? Maybe these folks weren’t as friendly as you had assumed.

That’ll teach you to assume, you know the old saying.

“They rarely punish the folks who deserve it, where I’m from.” You say quietly, and the old woman gets the hint.

“I won’t ask where that is, but do you mind me askin’ where you’re headed?” She moves towards the door and you figure why the hell not, tell the truth for once.

“Colorado, much like everyone else it would seem.” You say, say out loud this dream you’ve had for so many months, “Hopin’ to get lucky and strike some gold before it turns into another mess like California.”

She’s pleased with that answer for whatever reason, and she gives you a knowing smile.

“I wish you luck with that, Miss Sampson, I really do.” She nods in the direction of the tray, where the porridge and sticky sweet pancakes are still nice and piping hot. “Enjoy your breakfast, take a bath. I’ll leave lunch outside your door and knock in case you’re asleep.”

With that, she’s gone, and you raise your armpit to see just how badly you smell to encourage – oh shit, you think, your whole face scrunching up after taking a whiff. Awful, is the conclusion, you smell awful. So badly that you almost lose your appetite from it, something that makes you laugh because it catches you so off-guard.

That woman had more patience than you could ever imagine, waiting so long to say anything about it, the stench, and that only makes you laugh harder, for you haven’t had a moment to laugh like this in a long long time.

                                                   -----------------

With food in your belly, and after a long soak and scrub in the boiling hot tub out back, you sleep. You sleep the whole day away, sleep and let your dreams wander to simpler times, kinder times.

Your mind conjures up images of beautiful farmlands, cattle and gently baaing sheep. Numbers and letters dance behind your eyelids, midnight swims in the lake rush over your skin. It’s a good dream for once, a pleasant dream, not like the nightmares that typically plague you. Nothing like the flames which engulf your vision, or the booming laughter which turns to screams or or or --

“Speak of the goddamned devil --!” you gasp awake, your dreams ruined in an instant.

Bolting straight up, you’re disoriented for a moment, reaching for the gun in your pocket before sighing and recognizing this as the little hotel room. There is no danger here, you try and calm yourself down, try and stop the racing of your heart, but the cold sweat that’s shocked you awake grows clammy on your skin and you have to gulp down air.

The room is buttery golden, from the light of the setting sun which streams through the glass pane window. You quickly get out of bed and rush to the window, rush to see if anyone’s come, if they’re calling to run you out of town the way they did that attempted horse thief.

“I can’t stay.” You realize out loud, sighing into your hand as you rub your forehead, willing the spotted visions to blink away. You’d slept just about seven hours, which is probably more than the whole week’s worth of sleep combined, and you’d gotten your money’s worth of food and bath – plus they’d taken care of Agnes for you.

All of this justification runs through your head as you gather up your meager belongings and step into your boots. You twist your hair out of your face and open the front door, ready to place the key on the knob and slip out the back while everyone is at supper.

At your feet is another tray, a bowl of beans and a generous cut of beef along with a tear of bread and dried fruit.

You sigh, looking longingly down at it. Well, you think, better to not let the food spoil. Scarfing down the hot beans and the meat, you wrap the fruits and bread up in a cloth napkin and store it in your pocket. It’ll be a fine addition to the collection of foods you have packed in Agnes’ saddle, and you’re sure the addition will come in handy, not knowing of another town for many miles ahead.

You picked the perfect timing it would seem, because the saloon is empty, all the patrons at home for a home cooked meal with their families, and no one is around to see you head down towards the stable.

Agnes is happy to see you, as always. Her coat is shiny and white, she looks almost pearlescent so clean as this. Guilt pangs in your chest, you wish she could be so clean all the time. When you make it to Colorado and form your new life there, you decide you’re going to get yourself some land and let her spend the rest of her days grazing in peace.

“Ready to go gal?” You smile sadly, petting through her silky smooth mane.

She only whinnies softly, and without much more ado, you lead her out of the stable, and ride off into the sunset, on your way to the next stop en route to the Rockies.

                                                   -----------------

On the outskirts of town, as the sky blazes beautiful oranges and reds, purples around the edges of the horizon and not a single cloud to be seen, you think about the old woman, you never got her name.

You can’t go back now, can’t go back to thank her more for her hospitality, her understanding. Who knows, you think to yourself, maybe you’ll see her again one day. Maybe you won’t, but life had a funny way of working out, didn’t it?

Up ahead, you see a poor soul hanging from a great big tree, his horse standing underneath it. That must be the thief, you reckon, the one the Sheriff was not too kind to. Goosebumps shiver up your spine, and you do your best to avoid looking at him out of respect. You knew that if you were strung up, you wouldn’t want any ogling eyes, so you simply urge Agnes to go a little faster, hoping that you might simply pass him and continue on.

You wonder if that might’ve been your fate, had you stayed. Perhaps that Sheriff would’ve gotten wind of the bank from the town over, might’ve warned him about any newcomers, might’ve warned him about you. You’ll be far out into the canyons by then, should that happen, you know. You know, and you just do your best to keep your head down, trying to let this man have some semblance of dignity.  

Until that is, that poor soul doesn’t seem so poor at all, because as you grow closer, the moment he catches sight of you, you can hear the booming baritone of a voice shout across the desert,

“Hey! Over here! Hey!”

And you think in shock, that this man ain’t poor, he’s got to be the luckiest sonofabitch you’d ever seen in your life – because somehow, against all odds, he ain’t dead.

                                                 -----------------

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