#i hate the 'you escalated the fight' accusation and so should you

[nimbus-reblogsart]

the elementary school i went to had a large number of truly terrible bullies. Even now, after almost twenty years, i am still baffled at the violence both physical and psychological inflicted upon students (includes sexual violence). We were lucky in the sense that personal phones and social media were not a thing yet, so at least it was not uploaded for everyone to see.

In my case it's not like the adults weren't told, it's just that they could not do anything about it with their little speeches. And i think i need to give examples so people grasp just how unhinged these kids were.

things that happened to me personally were: kids trying to undress me in the middle of the gym, various substances being smeared into my hair during class, shoving and pushing, threatening sexual violence while pulling down their zipper, destruction of my stuff, throwing my intact stuff into the trash to force me to search for it so they could then make fun of me for 'dumpster diving'. Name calling i didnt even notice and would not have cared about if i had. They would find me sitting by myself and surround me as a group all smiley (from the outside it looked like I was part of the group) and ask me all sorts of uncomfortable questions, suggesting i had done x or y. They would be super cheery doing all this, throwing their arms around my shoulders so it looked like friends hanging out.

Keep in mind these were like... 9 year olds, 10 year olds doing that. It stopped soon bc i fought back, punching and kicking and screaming, but here is stuff that happened to other kids:

- bullies would destroy property in secret, then come act all sympethatic towards the crying student, hugging them and going 'oh who would do such a thing?' and going around arguing with the rest of the class, asking 'did you do it?' in an angry 'supportive' voice. the (newly transferred) victim kept thinking they were helpful and protective friends.

- hunt a child, literally, through the streets on her way home (the school was in a neighbourhood that was the worst in the city) smearing feces on her things, pouring food and liquids on her during the whole thing, forcing her to look for shelter in a tiny restaurant. It was at least a dozen kids, shouting and laughing while she ran crying in fear.

- rip out earrings, hair pulling to the point of bald spots, broken arms, at least one very memorable case of scissors used to carve a name into someone, throwing kids off of a three meter tall tower we could climb. Physical violence, but with torture™

this doesnt cover the condoms and needles left on the school property by strangers that would then be picked up by the bullies to be used against the other kids, or the school trips where the bullies had the isolation they needed to do more horrible shit to the kids in an old german castle.

I cannot begin to tell you how you need to systematically destroy bullying on every level.

Little apology ceremonies and suspensions are not working. Therapy session style conversations with the whole class are not working. The effect lasts maybe a week or two and then it is back to the usual torture. Bullies need to be inconvenienced at every turn for any little bullying they do. They need to be punched back, literally and figuratively. Kids who are bullied need to be taught that physical violence used as a defense mechanism is not 'escalating the fight' but the only consistent solution with long lasting results. Eventually you dont even have to fight anymore bc you establish yourself as a difficult target. Teachers that reprimand kids for fighting back need to be told to shut tf up.

In comparison high school where i witnessed more impactful violence in the form of fist fights as well as gang activity was easier to digest bc if i kept clear of them they just left me in peace. It was not this psychological torture i had witnessed as a child, the ever lasting cloud covering the sky that was looming over you even if it didnt rain.

TV barely does it any justice, i've seen some korean drama clips that get close but overall what i dislike is that the solutions are not more clearly discussed. It's an ugly answer maybe but from my own experiences i can say the solution is return the physical violence immediately. Do not let it fester, do not let them come together as a group, if one of them catches you alone in a hallway, no, you are the one catching them. Instill that mindset in your friends and keep an eye out for each other. They smear smth in your hair during class? you turn around and pour your water on them and loudly ask them why they would touch you. Make a scene, every single time. Even if your voice shakes and it feels scary, cause problems on purpose.

It gets worse before it gets better, they come back with a vengeance, i know firsthand, but keep it up and then it stops drastically.

There is no shame in self defense. If you have to get your big brother or smth involved, do so, if you have to smack them in the face do so. If you have to explain a humiliating moment to someone so they understand the seriousness of the situation, do so. There is no shame in self defense and dont let anyone who didnt bother to interfere tell you otherwise. They didnt interfere then, they dont interfere now.

And you will face that too, unfortunately, cowards who only speak up when you punch back but never when the bullies break the peace. It will be friends, it will be parents, teachers, anybody. Keep at it.

Don't start shit, but make sure to finish it when others do. Repeatedly. Systematically.

no piece of teen media has ever accurately depicted the quiet psychological warfare of bullying. bullies on TV are always dumb brutes and not the evil geniuses of emotional manipulation that they are in real life. being given a wedgie and having your lunch money stolen is nothing in comparison to a classmate quietly creating a taboo against speaking to you that they intend to enforce against all the other kids. it’s nothing like continuous cutting comments from people you thought were being nice to you. that way that the work of one kid can make you feel like every person on earth silently hates you and that you are dirty, disgusting, worthless, creepy and useless. that you can have friends but many of them will not speak to you at school for fear of the social consequences on their end. how that damage lasts in any social setting for the rest of your life

[ileftherbackhome]

i think the thing i hated the most about the public abuse campaign against amber heard in 2022 is that even well-intentioned but ignorant people to the entirety of the details in the case were saying things like "amber is an imperfect victim but she is still a victim" because they knew she would fight back and would try and negotiate with her abuser sometimes instead of just leaving like society thinks you should do.

and this is building off the previous post about the two types of child abuse because it allows applies to how we treat domestic violence as a society as well. amber heard was a perfect victim, her abuse story was textbook open and shut.

she grew up in an household witnessing DV between her parents. she is a bisexual woman. she was a young starting actress when she met johnny depp, at half his age. at this time, depp ALREADY had a history of public drunkness and violence because he was well into his 40s, maybe 50s at the time.

he was amazing to her in the first months of dating, maybe even a year. then he hit her for the first time after she makes a joke at his expense and she was shocked.

she knew abuse was wrong. she knew the behavior was unacceptable. but this wasnt her boyfriend. this wasnt the man she knew. she had never seen him act this way before, there were no signs up until now. he was so loving. he was drunk and probably high anyways. maybe it was a one time thing. he was so sorry afterwards. she gave him another chance because it had been months of living together (or at the very least spending weeks holed up with one another only!!!!!! red flag af) in perfect harmony at this point.

he goes back to normal. things are better than before. he pulls out all the stops. hes caring towards her friends and family. she feels like he cares about her safety still at this point. obviously he didnt want to hurt her. obviously he just lost control.

it happened again. and again. and again. each time the cycle gets faster. each time, the abuse more violent.

it leads to sexual assault. she's married him at this point. this is on their honeymoon i believe. she feels embarrassed. she spent 5 years putting up with him. she feels the most violated ever. she doesn't know what to do. she's ashamed. she tries to make it work again.

it leads to the worst attack on her life. she was worried she was going to die. over a dog shitting on their bed when she was out of town. her friend called the police to de escalate the situation because he wasnt listening to anyone's explanations and accusing everyone of conspiring against him. it sounded lethal over the phone. they were worried for her safety.

the police come but everyone has already calmed down at that point. she is ashamed of what has happened so publically at this point. she knows she cant stay. she knows he doesnt care about her safety finally. she leaves. she files for divorce and alleges abuse as the reason why.

she has YEARS of testimony. he paid doctors to drug her. he wrote awful texts about wanting to rape her corpse. he called her a lesbian camp counselor and made her apologise for being bisexual and having women friends. there are videos of him being violent and slamming doors around her drunk and incoherent rambling. you can tell she doesnt want him to see the camera but she needs the proof. she knows nobody will believe her without proof.

she has dozens many hundreds of photos of the abuse. she has MEDICAL TESTIMONY FROM HER THERAPISTS AND HIS THERAPIST HE FORCED HER TO ATTEND WITH HIM.

he convinces her to drop the abuse allegations and sign AN NDA after a hours long conversation his lawyer would leak to the public in a future lawsuit as part of a smear campaign against her.

she waits until he speaks publically about the abuse allegations in an interview before she writes an article about protecting women legally who are abuse victims and states she was "a figure representing domestic violence publically" or something to that affect.

he files a defamation lawsuit against her and the newpapers calling him a wife beater as a result. he loses in a country where liberaci won his defamation lawsuit for the press calling him gay publically.

he files another defamation lawsuit against her, a tactic that is well documented as an abuser DARVO tactic online with advocacy groups everywhere. he files it in a country with terrible media laws and in a state with even worse laws protecting DV victims.

he gets a famous alt right misinformation company to spend thousands of dollars running a social media smear campaign with bots.

he wins the defamation lawsuit because people genuinely believe a grown woman alleging abuse shat in this man's bed as an elaborate plot to abuse him and steal his money and fame or something??????????????

this is like clear cut perfect victimhood. if amber heard isnt a perfect victim, who the fuck is??????

not that i agree with perfect versus imperfect victimhood because its such a gross concept imho to ascribe to but like she is definitely a perfect victim.

and it all stems from the fact that society doesnt understand how someone can choose to stay with an abusive partner for years before leaving that relationship. society doesn't understand how someone can grow up witnessing abuse as a sign of love and that changing their perspecting on what real love should look like.

idk like i genuinely think about amber heard all the fucking time and all the abuse victims that summer destroyed emotionally and mentally witnessing yall behave like that. and yall just moved on. yall moved on. you ruined that woman's life and all she wanted to do was be honest about her truth and be believed. yall stole that from her and you told every abuse victim watching that you are not a safe person to be around and then yall just... moved on.

well im still at the restaurant, this is the corner im haunting for the rest of my life. i cannot accept it, it breaks my heart when i think about it.

[bambinella]

Junkyard Queens

A/N: It was recently brought to my attention by @whatsjulietslastname that David was an abusive piece of garbage towards Chloe, so now I fully hate the man and I simply had to write this. Enjoy!

Summary: Chloe and Rachel meet up at the junkyard, and Rachel discovers David is an even bigger step-shit than she thought.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, angs, hurt/comfort, fluff

Word Count: 2655

It was a friday afternoon, and Rachel was impatiently waiting for her girlfriend to arrive. She was currently laying on their mattress in the little shack they had redecorated, reading a book. School had finished an hour ago, and she couldn’t wait to finally spend the weekend with Chloe. Chloe had been out all afternoon to run some errands, and should arrive any minute now. And just like predicted, Rachel heard a car drive onto the junkyard moments later. The blonde jumped up excitedly and tossed the book aside, almost skipping out of the shack. Chloe had parked the car nearby and was already on her way towards her.

“Chloe Price, making me wait an eternity before showing up,” Rachel smiled teasingly as she hugged her girlfriend.

“Sorry, the original plan kind of changed a bit,” Chloe said as she hugged her back, and Rachel could immediately tell something was wrong. Taking a step back, she carefully inspected the taller teen. Chloe had gone out to do a small job today, and was supposedly going home afterwards to freshen up and get a bag with stuff for the weekend. Not only was the bag missing, Chloe had puffy eyes as if she’d been crying and one of her cheeks was suspiciously red.

“Wait, Chloe, your face,” Rachel said with a frown, immediately noticing the bruised area. She reached her hand forward to gently touch it, and Chloe grabbed both of her hands in her own.

“It’s fine, Rachel, don’t worry about it,” Chloe said with a weak smile, which obviously fooled nobody. She raised an eyebrow at the taller teen.

“Well, now I’m definitely worrying about it. Did you get in another fight? Who did this to you?” She asked, refusing to let this matter go as she carefully inspected her cheek. Chloe realized this, and sighed.

“Rachel, I��� I messed up. I went home to shower and get some new clothes for the weekend, but my step-douche stopped me as soon as I got in the house. The bastard has gone into my room while I was away, looking for god knows what, and he found the box,” Chloe said, sounding desperate. Rachel’s jaw tightened. For a year now they’d been saving up to leave Arcadia Bay together. Chloe had been taking small jobs fixing up cars, whenever and wherever she could, and had saved the money in a box under a loose plank in her room. They weren’t exactly rich yet, but it was a decent amount already and they were both proud of it. Rachel was waiting to gather all the money her dad had given her for the day they’d actually leave.

“He went into your room and went through your stuff??” Rachel asked, narrowing her eyes in anger. That guy really thought he owned the place, and Chloe.

“That’s not the worst part. Rachel, he found the money. He asked me how I got it, accusing me of selling drugs. I told him the truth and he didn’t believe me, so I got angry and well… things escalated,” She said, touching her red cheek. Rachel’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“Wait, HE hit you?!” She almost yelled, her eyes full of rage. She’d met David on several occasions and she knew how he acted towards Chloe. She’d had no idea he was violent towards her as well, and it made her stomach turn upside down.

“I’m fine, I’m kind of getting used to it now, even though it sucks ass. He was giving me shit for the money, so I got angry and said that I at least earned money and that he’d better take an example if he wanted an actual spot in the house. And that’s when he struck me. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that he took it, Rachel. He took the money. Said my mom had better use for it, and that I should earn money the ‘right way’ next time,” Chloe said, staring at the ground in frustration. 

If Rachel had been fuming before, it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. She wasn’t even sure what made her feel more sick, the fact that David hit Chloe, or the fact that Chloe considered it as normal at this point. She wanted to hurt him for treating Chloe that way. But being there for Chloe came first, so she forced herself to calm down. One thing was certain, however. David’s life and safety were no longer guaranteed if she had anything to say about it.

“Hey, look at me. You didn’t mess up, okay?” Rachel said as she gently held Chloe’s chin, making her girlfriend look at her. Chloe’s eyes were full of disappointment, and all of it was pointed towards herself. 

“I did, Rachel. I got angry at step-dick, and because of that he took the money. Our money. Fuck, I want to help my mom with the bills, but… we needed that. We need money if we want to get out of this place,” She said with a defeated sigh, and Rachel’s heart broke. The blonde gently held one of Chloe’s hands in her own, placing a kiss on the back of it.

“My sweet Chloe Price. None of this is your fault, and I’ll keep saying it until you realize it’s the truth. David invaded your space and took something that was yours. You had every right to be mad at him. He had no right to do any of those things to begin with,” Rachel said, ending it with an angry huff, which made Chloe smile a little.

“Really? You’re not angry with me?” She asked, and Rachel hated how uncertain she sounded compared to her usual self. How could Chloe not see that she was not to blame here?

“I literally have no reason to be angry at you. I’m saying you didn’t do anything wrong, and we both know I’m always right. Now enough of that, follow me,” She said with a smile, leading the taller teen to their car. Chloe had no idea what was on Rachel's mind, but she didn’t hesitate a second as she followed her. They crawled onto the back of the truck and sat themselves down next to each other. They’d covered the back area with multiple blankets and a few pillows (when it wasn’t raining of course) so it was comfortable for them to either sit or lay there to relax. Rachel wrapped an arm around Chloe and tenderly kissed her bruised cheek.

“Well, that’s certainly an improvement compared to an hour ago,” Chloe hummed approvingly, letting out a content sigh as she smiled at her shorter girlfriend. Rachel smirked at her.

“Yeah? Well I got more where that came from,” She said with a sly grin, proceeding to cover Chloe’s cheek and chin with the most gentle of kisses, earning another approving hum, before moving down to her neck. 

“Ack! Rachel, that tickles!” Chloe burst into giggles as she felt the soft touch on her skin, immediately leaning away from her. While she loved being doted on by Rachel, her neck was stupidly ticklish. The blonde easily followed her and grinned.

“I’m showering you with my love and affection, so deal with it,” Rachel playfully grumbled against her neck, sending Chloe into another loud giggle fit. The taller teen shifted from a sitting position to laying down on her back, in an attempt to get out of reach. Rachel simply used that as an opportunity to sit on top of her girlfriend's hips, leaning in close so she could continue pressing soft, ticklish kisses against her neck and collarbones. 

“Baby! Baby plehehehease!” Chloe cried out while giggling madly, only half-heartedly pushing against Rachel’s shoulders. When she’d been reduced to a blushing, giggling mess, only then did Rachel pull away with a wide smile. She laid herself down on top of Chloe, who was still breathless and giggly, and they cuddled in silence while enjoying the warmth of the sun. Rachel traced her nails over Chloe’s tattoo, following the different patterns, while Chloe played with her hair. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Rachel asked after a while, her eyes still closed as she listened to the rhythm of Chloe’s heartbeat.

“Of course, you can ask me anything,” Chloe immediately replied, not even thinking twice about it. It was simply the truth.

“Why didn’t you tell me your stepdad is an abusive piece of shit?” She asked, lifting her head to look at Chloe. The latter had not expected that question and remained silent for a little while, before sitting herself up. Rachel followed her example.

“I didn’t want to worry you. It’s been going on for a while now, and it’s not gonna change. The worst part is that I’m pretty sure my mom knows of it, yet David still walks around the house, so she’s fine with it. But in all honesty? I probably deserve it half of the time,” Chloe said. Rachel reached over and gently held her chin, making her look at her again.

“Chloe Price, don’t you dare do this to yourself. I really hate to see you blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault,” Rachel said, a frown appearing on her face. So not only was David abusive towards her, he also made her believe she was the problem. Chloe’s life had been hard enough already, she didn’t need this on top of it. Chloe huffed.

“Yeah well, apparently everything is my fault, according to my mom and step-ass,” She mumbled, touching her own cheek. It no longer hurt but the memory still stinged. Rachel’s frown intensified as she placed her hand on Chloe’s arm.

“Well in that case, fuck them. You don’t deserve any of this and they don’t deserve you, period. And as your girlfriend it’s my duty to tell you the truth, so I will. I’ll tell you every single day if I have to. We keep each other grounded, remember? So you can tell me anything, and I’ll be here for you” Rachel said, reaching for Chloe’s hand. The older teen gently squeezed it and gave her a warm smile, actually looking happy at those words.

“Thank you. I’m not really good with emotions, but I’ll take you up on that offer. And yeah, you’re right, we keep each other grounded. Fuck, that minds me, I’ll probably get grounded as soon as Sergeant Dickhead tells his sob story to my mom. I do not look forward to going home,” She mumbled, looking at her phone. She groaned when she saw a bunch of unread messages from her mother.

“Then simply don’t go home,” Rachel concluded, standing up as she put her hands on her hips. Chloe simply looked at her, puzzled.

“Don’t go home? Yeah I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any other place to go to,” Chloe said with a chuckle, raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend. Rachel chewed her lower lip as she considered the options. Her own house wasn’t an option, since she was avoiding her dad at all costs. Maybe she could reach her mom, but it had been a while since they last texted. Then her eyes fell on their little shack, and she had the perfect idea.

“We can just stay here then!” Rachel said with a smile, jumping off of the car as she turned around to face Chloe, who’d stood up herself now.

“Here? You mean at the junkyard?” She asked with another chuckle, jumping off the car as she looked around. It wasn’t that bad and it had mostly junk instead of trash, so it didn’t really smell bad. But it wasn’t the first place she’d think of to spend the night at. Then again, going home to her mom and step-shit wasn’t that high on the list either.

“Yeah! Where’s your sense of adventure?! We’re basically the queens of this junkyard already! We have our little shack which protects us from bad weather, it’s super hot already so we can definitely sleep outside, and nobody will bother us here. I think that’s a win-win-win, no?” Rachel asked with a wide grin, almost bouncing on her feet. Chloe couldn’t help but smile at the energy Rachel was radiating. She really made everything seem possible. This, however, was something they had to think through.

“Okay then Ms win-win, what about food? Do we just go home, go ‘hey we’re here for free lunch!’ and then leave again?” Chloe asked, folding her arms as she looked at her with an almost smug grin. Rachel paused as she considered the question, before smirking back equally smugly.

“No, of course not. We could simply go grocery shopping, like the adults that we are. And since it’s going to be nice weather all weekend, we could even pull out the BBQ if we want! I’m sure they sell those disposable ones, and we’re at the right place for after we’re done anyways!” She said excitedly. Chloe smiled as she shook her head. There was simply no changing her mind.

“Yeah alright you win. I guess you do have a point. And I really don’t wanna go home,” She said, reaching out to hold Rachel’s hands. Rachel smiled sweetly at her.

“Then stay here, with me. We’ll order take-out tonight, build a little campfire, gaze at the stars while laying on the back of the car, and then fall asleep in each other’s arms like the romantic souls we are,” She said, standing on her toes to kiss Chloe. She could feel Chloe grin while kissing, and it filled her heart with joy to know her girlfriend was happy. At last.

“Rachel Amber, starting a campfire? Should we call someone in advance this time so they can put out the fire, just in case?” Chloe teased as she pulled away, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“Shut up! Are you my partner in crime or what?!” Rachel laughed as she punched Chloe in the shoulder, to which the two of them laughed harder. It felt good to laugh, to be together. Chloe probably didn’t even realize just how important she really was, in general and to her specifically. Chloe had saved her just as much, if not even more.

“Alright alright, I concede,” She grinned, holding up her hands as she surrendered. Rachel smirked and walked up to her, wrapping her arms around Chloe’s neck as she hugged her.

“You better, if you know what’s good for you,” She playfully threatened with a wink, smirking a little wider as she noticed the blush on her girlfriend’s cheeks. Too easy.

“What do we do about the money, though?” She asked. She didn’t sound as hopeless or desperate as she did before, but it was still a concern to her. Which was fair, to be honest.

“Don’t you worry about that, okay? Like I said last year, I have enough money saved up to kickstart us the day we actually leave, so that’s covered. One good thing my dad did for us, I guess. But I still think David is a major asshole for doing this to you, and he should pay for it,” Rachel grumbled.

“Pay for it, huh? You know what? I think you just gave me an idea on how to do that. But I might need a partner in crime,” Chloe said, her eyes wide with excitement and a grin that meant nothing good. 

“Whatever it is, I’m all in,” Rachel said with a smirk. This was going to be perfect. 

They snuck into Chloe’s garage the next morning to execute their little plan. By the end of the day Chloe had gotten her money back, more than she’d had before in fact, and was having a great time with Rachel at the junkyard. And let’s just say David had lost a specific toolbox, and gained a flat tire or two.

[slyandthefamilybook]

hey, just wanted to say I have some serious respect for your genuine… neutrality I think is the wrong word. nuance, maybe? about Israel/Palestine stuff.

everything I see tells me you just want peace and comfort for people, and that you’ve managed to stay vocal and hold your ground despite attempts to the contrary by parties on both ends of the issue.

is there some pro-israel bias in what you do? maybe. id have to spend a lot more time getting a sense of how you operate to know. but ive seen enough antisemitism go unchallenged in pro-Palestine conversations that I think tumblr needs a bit of that pulling in the other direction.

if I ever start being politically active online outside of just reblogging stuff I think I would use your work here as an example, and id be quite satisfied if I lived up to it.

This is...extremely flattering, thank you. I'm honored to be held up as a standard of reasonability.

I think "pro-Israel bias" is tricky to define. A lot of people will accuse me of being pro-Israel, or at best neutral (which would be pro-Israel anyways, as they have the majority of the power). The problem is, the worse things get the harder people will fight. And the harder people fight, the further they want to go. Things keep escalating as both sides leapfrog to the greatest extreme, until neither one will accept anything less than total domination. I believe that in this rhetorical arms race, my position has remained steadfastly reasonable.

I believe first and foremost that human life is inherently valuable, and that we must do everything we can to protect it. But I'm not an idiot. I know that the world is complicated and that waters are often muddied. I'm an anarcho-communist, but I'm not going to let my political ideals blind me to reality. So if I support freedom from suffering for Palestinians, then the Zionists hate me, and that's fine. And if I support the Israelis who were taken from their homes, then the tankies hate me, and that's fine. I'm comfortable knowing I'm sticking to my principles. When Emma Lazarus said "until we are all free, we are none of us free" she was speaking out against sectarianism. Against the idea that we should only care for our own. I believe in doing things that help people. Bibi and Sinwar are helping no one but themselves with their endless assaults on civilians. War and revenge help no one except the people at the top. Far-right religious fundamentalism helps no one except the people at the top

It may sound trite, but war is not about one side versus another; it's about death versus life. There are people who are alive, and people who are not. Living people have the potential to do so much good. Dead people have the potential to decompose under 6 feet of earth. We must choose to create more life, not more death

[beevean]

The thing that makes me really groan and dread plotlines where no one believes someone when they say someone else is full of shit or a backstabber is how it nearly seems to mean the characters have to be as condescending, belligerent, or outright hostile, to them in response to hearing the accusations. Would be understandable if the character who was privvy to the snake in the grass had a history of being dishonest and shady themselves. But that's usually not the case in this type of story. Always seems to be a character who the other characters already have a good past history with, and have no reason to not at least consider and look into what they're trying to bring to light. Not even just showing concern towards the character who is onto the bullshitter. No. It's immediately shutdown and shame them! The moment I heard what this current story arc was going to be about, I knew where it was gonna go.

The execution of this type of conflict is usually done so badly because it ends up making characters act dumber than they usually would in order for it to happen, instead of making the accused character into an actual smart manipulator or someone who is really good at evading detection. I hate it as much as the "You kept a secret from meeee and liiieeed! Why!? How could you! This revelation now takes priority over the literal life and death situation we're currently in!" cliche in fiction.

Yeah, it's what I've pointed out multiple times: Lanolin is weirdly defensive of a rookie she just hired, and even more weirdly aggressive against people who didn't do anything to her. And okay, sure, let's accept the headcanon that she relates to Duo because she remembers what it means to be a picked-on rookie - look, I would accept any kind of humanization for her, I am willing to believe she is biased towards him out of concern (it's still a headcanon as of now though).

But this response has no flow. Whisper, correctly, says that she knows Mimic better than anyone, and while they don't have tangible proof yet (even though she should, with the camera in her mask...), she will be able to get it. It's rash, yes. The normal response would be to attempt to take Whisper in private and question her more, like "why are you saying this? Where is this coming from?". Whisper would have been annoyed by that, and you still would have had the scene where the fight escalates, but at least those would have been understandable reactions.

Lanolin instead jumps to "YOU ARE BOTHERING HIM", completely ignoring the accusation that he might be a known criminal. bro. think. why would Whisper the Wolf, which you have seen with your own eyes to be extremely introverted and solitary, bother to bully a rando for no reason??? And with such a serious accusation???? I'm sorry, but imagine if Whisper instead accused Duo of beating her up, and Lanolin's reaction was "ugh you're so mean leave him alone!". Do I... Do I need to take this to the logical conclusion...?

(also really hypocritical of her to be like "noooo harassing a teammate is bad", to then fucking slam her own teammate on the ground in front of everyone :V)

[twofacedtrickery]

I'm not sure who will see this first, but this is for the one this account belongs to.

This might get lengthy, and yet, this still might not be an adequate admission of fault. I know that you want me to admit my every wrongdoing towards you, but truthfully, my memory doesn't extend that far. The best I can offer is a sweeping summary, which I think speaks for itself how long I was cruel to you.

In the beginning, it started because you were an Insurgent, an enemy party to torment with petty jabs. Then, your past partner came into the picture, and I projected things I hate about myself onto you. I projected things I hate about a man who hurt me onto him. I made a lot of assumptions and accusations about the both of you based on my own experiences, and that's not fair.

I did want to hurt you for the things I assumed were true, and I wanted to forcibly excise the things that reminded me of myself from you. So, I picked fights with you. I thought that one day my words would stick, and you would come to the revelations I wanted you to come to and change.

It didn't work out that way. I made you backslide instead, and I caused harm instead of hurt. Individual arguments, things I thought were short term nuisances, compounded and escalated over time before I realized how much damage I was doing. I should have admitted that I was wrong earlier, but I was too stubborn.

I know you don't want to hear it, and it won't change anything, but I am sorry. I'm going to stop trying to force you to see things the way I do. I'm not going to make fun of you online anymore. I hope you heal from the pain I put you through.

- Min

I can't speak for how it would feel, but I don't know if "fault" is the right word. It sounds a little nitpicky, but I say this because I don't think this situation has any "fault" in that sense, and I don't want you to carry a guilt for something you couldn't have known, and that you were, from my recollection, a relatively minor contributor to. That said, I may paraphrase when it's ready to have that kind of discussion, if that's alright, not because your wording is poor, it's very well written, but because it might need smaller doses of discussion. It'll be given the full message later.

It's relatively resilient, so chances are it'll recover fine. It's always been adaptable, from what I remember. As such, it may change, how it will is harder to know. Please know that none of us outside the situation think ill of you, nor do we blame you for how it's wound up. Ambassador read this, but he really didn't think he could word his thoughts without what he described as unfair thoughts seeping in.

Best of luck in your endeavors. --O5-3

[misshorrorotaku]

Personally, I caught on pretty quickly to the fact Verosika cared about Blitzo a lot. You are not THAT hostile to someone who was only ever a sexual conquest to you.

All this said, I think there is a perspective here that isn't quite being considered: Stolis and Blitzo communicate on different wavelengths.

Let me elaborate. First, calling out something basic before going into it deeper, Stolis did a poor job with the reveal of the crystal. He shouldn't have been so cryptic about something so important, especially since it was going to be followed by such an important conversation.

Now to my elaboration. Stolis is clearly very wordy with his communication. Which in some cases can be very good. But Blitzo very clearly doesn't communicate that same way. He requires more short, direct communication. When Stolis gave his explanation, Blitzo's reaction was fueled by this difference in communication wavelengths combined with his own self-image issues. The biggest thing Stolis did wrong during that scene was assume Blitzo got what he was saying and thus his reaction (assuming it was another sex role-play) was "the answer." He should have tried further to communicate instead of just deciding that was an answer (cuz it well and truly wasn't). Now, don't misunderstand my criticisms for anything but criticisms of the person the character is supposed to be. This is DAMNED good writing. Realistic. These are two damaged individuals, of course their communication is going to be shit. XD

It was likely the same with Verosika. Maybe they even started in a sort of similar way, where Blitzo and Verosika were immediately into the sex, setting a precedent for their relationship like Stolitz did.

But I would personally dispute the idea that viewed either of them "lowly." On the contrary, he had both of them on such a high pedestal he considered himself a fool for trying to be up there with them. They just viewed it as viewing them lowly due to how he verbalized that view. Confrontational, angry, accusatory, etc. he verbalized his high view of them by accusing them of looking down on him. Cuz why wouldn't they? They're so amazing, and he's so shit, how can they not view him poorly? Add in their higher status and that's just even more reason to look down on him.

Of course, it wasn't true. But Blitzo's poor self-image, and their differences in communication styles made that impossible for him to accept.

Personally, I like the idea that much like with Stolis, Blitzo realized he fucked up and wanted to try and apologize, but Verosika, unlike Stolis, reacted with pure anger. Something tells me she was just as confrontational as Blitzo, so this just escalated the fighting until Blitzo felt it was too far gone to try fixing and just continued the hostility. She hates him now, after all, why bother? Had Stolis reacted with Anger too, as Blitzo clearly expected him too, the result likely would have been the same. Maybe Blitzo even tries to force such a response from Stolis cuz it makes it easier for him to cope.

Believe it or not, this whole scene can be a good parallel to what *specifically* went down with Blitzø and Verosika

Because I highly doubt, with what we know, this is the first time Blitz verbally lashed out at someone he had feelings for. And I have suspicions Stolas wasn't the only person was "thought so very low of" from Blitzø.

This is the very core of our main protagonist, everyone. The very weakness that has pushed so many people away from him to the point of them having resentment. Blitzø carries his insecurities as if they are his literal scars. They remind him how much he has ruined lives and relationships (whether or not it was even his fault.) Everytime he pushes someone away it ends up biting him in the ass. The very first time he did this, it caused a LITERAL fire, resulting in Blitz losing his best friend, sister, and mother. The second time, he chooses to max out money out of his own girlfriend's credit cards for horse riding lessons. And now this...

Everyone is talking about how hurt Stolas was from Blitz's words and this is actually important. Blitz made him out as if he was indeed a monster, and was just using him for his own gain and couldn't give less of a shit about him. However, no one so far has mentioned this could be the same hurt Verosika carries.

She definetly fell head over fucking heels for this imp- SERIOUSLY SHE HAS A TATTOO OF A HEART WITH HIS NAME. Despite being of lower class than her, Verosika couldn't care less about that. Like Stolas, Blitzø was probably the best thing that ever happened to her. Someone she cared about the most. Yet, like Stolas, Blitz refused to see that. To her, a succubus no less, it was only about sex. Cause who could seriously give a shit about someone as insignificant as him. So he pulls that stunt with her credit cards, a fight has possibly ensued, and he has left Verosika bitter and heartbroken. Because like Stolas, she did not realize he would think so low of her when she thought so highly about him. Its so easy for Blitzø stans to think of her as a bitch instead of a deeply hurt person..

[saffyspirals]

wassup!!hope u r doing fine:))? could u write headcanons or whatever u find more suitable of toman guys(mikey,draken,baji, mitsuya..) where their s/o accidentally says "i hate you" in an argument xxthank you (sorry for any bad english)

𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝

; with: mikey, draken, mitsuya, baji and hanma.

; warnings: VERY dramatic (i’ve never been in a relationship, but i’m sure fights don’t escalate this quickly, right?)

; author’s note: i added hanma because something came to mind for him too!

𝚖𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢

you’ve got an important exam coming up, that you really need to do well on.

you haven’t done so great on previous tests, and your parents have threatened to take you out of your extracurricular activities if you fail this time round too.

because you’re spending so much time studying, you haven’t been paying much attention to your boyfriend, mikey.

he misses being around you, so he drops by your house unannounced, in the hopes that you’ll set aside some time for him.

you greet him, and shoot him a friendly smile when he comes in, but that’s about it. mikey is disappointed, but somewhat understands.

he flops down onto your bed, and dozes off.

about an hour and a half later, mikey wakes up to the sound of a frustrated groan, as well as the clattering of a pen that has been dropped.

it’s easy for mikey to see that you’re tired, and yet, after heaving a heavy sigh, you pick up your pen, and begin working again.

“take a break,” he suggests, crawling out from under the covers. he walks over to where you’re sat (at your desk), touching your shoulder when he’s close enough. “come cuddle for a bit.”

“no, mikey.” you shrug his hand off, and continue furiously scribbling down the answers to the questions written in your textbook. “i don’t have time for that.”

“i might not be a studying expert, but i’m sure nothing is going to sink in if you’re overworking yourself.”

“listen, i just need to finish these,” you insist. “and there’s a few pages in my other text book that i need to go over—”

“that’ll take all night!”

“and so what?!” you exclaim, dropping your pen once again to throw your hands up. “dude, you have been nothing but an irritant since you got here. don’t you want me to pass?!” you stand up to face him.

mikey looks puzzled for a second, before his expression evolves into an annoyed one.

“of course i do. why would you even ask that? all i’m saying is you should take a break. you’re wasting time trying to work tired!”

“no, you just want me to cuddle.” you point an accusing finger at him. “you’re being selfish!”

in the back of his mind, mikey knows that you’re only saying these things because you’re stressed, and frustrated. but the forefront of his mind — the more dominant part — tells him to fight back.

“selfish? you think i’m being selfish? and what about you, huh? making this all about you. and so what, if i just want to cuddle, y/n?! you’re my girlfriend for crying out loud, and you haven’t been acting like it at all!”

“if i haven’t been acting like one, maybe i shouldn’t even be your girlfriend!”

“if that’s what you want!”

it’s said in the heat of the moment; a few more moments are needed for both of you to realise the weight your words carry. you break the heavy silence first, opting to deal the final, final blow first.

“okay. whatever. god, i-i hate you, mikey. just get out of my room.”

you turn away from him, not wanting him to see that you’re becoming all teary.

mikey doesn’t move for a second, contemplating how he can even fix the mess you’ve both made.

he swallows, before stepping forward, and wrapping his arms around your middle. his head comes to rest on your shoulder. it stiffens when you realise it’s slowly becoming wet.

“you mean that?” his voice still remains even. “hmm?”

“no. no, of course i don’t!” you sniff, putting your hands on top of his arms. “i don’t want to break up, and i don’t hate you. not even a little.”

mikey perks up a little; he lifts his head.

“i love you.” you continue. “i’m an idiot, and i don’t want you to leave me.”

“you are an idiot,” he agrees, to which you roll your eyes at. “but i don’t want to leave you either.”

𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚗

“will you please stop for a sec?”

“why? so you can explain in detail how stupid you are? no thanks, i already know!”

you’re furious. (if that hadn’t been made clear already)

a few minutes ago, you’d been on your way to see draken at his part time job. it was nearing the time he was supposed to be allowed to go out for lunch break. you, having nothing to do, figured you’d spend the time with him.

you’d pushed the store’s door open, pretty eyes twinkling with excitement, at the thought of draken’s smiling face.

the excitement doesn’t last long, at all.

you don’t even get the chance to utter out a greeting, before your eyes are ‘blessed’ with a sight you thought you’d never see.

“i didn’t know she was going to do that, okay?” draken continues, picking up his pace in an attempt to catch up with you.

eventually, he does, and when he is side by side with you, he takes your wrist, and pulls the both of you to a stop.

“it wasn’t obvious to you that she was trying to kiss you?” it’d only been a kiss on the cheek, but still, that was more than enough reason for you to be pissed.

draken looks at you, then around him, at people walking past. the two of you are drawing too much attention.

“can we not do this in the street? let’s go back to the store.”

“the scene of the crime? lovely.” he chooses to ignore your sarcasm, and walk you back to his place of work. draken nods at his boss as he passes him. he takes you into the back.

“y/n, i swear. i’ve never met the girl in my life. it would make no sense for me to think that she’s going to kiss me. right?”

he tries to reason, but really, it goes in one ear and out the other. all that you really gather from this conversation is that he can’t own up to his mistakes.

“i’m sorry, alright? all i can ask for is your forgiveness. i promise it was a mistake.”

“you’re such a liar!” you hiss, shaking your head at him. “and i hate you for it.”

following your confession, is a tense silence. draken is taken aback by your choice of words, and so are you.

“you’re gonna let a stranger do this to us, huh?” he questions, dark eyes boring into yours.

you swallow, unable to come up with an answer. all you can see is red.

“for crying out loud y/n, i love you.” he holds your shoulders. “i only love you. why’s that so hard to believe?”

“i need you, not anybody else. i don’t give a fuck about others.”

at his own confession, you find the red slipping away. you practically dissolve into a puddle of tears. your boyfriend holds you as you cry, and apologise.

“please, trust me from now on.”

𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚢𝚊

you wake up earlier than usual on the morning of your birthday, excited for the events that are supposed to be taking place.

you’ve never had a boyfriend for your birthday before, and since mitsuya is literally the sweetest ever, you’re sure he’s got things planned out.

when you have a look at your phone, there are several missed calls and texts from friends, and family who want to wish you a happy birthday, but there isn’t any from mitsuya.

you shrug it off as no big deal, figuring he’s still asleep or something. it’s only a little after eight, so it’s understandable.

you go downstairs to find your parents already waiting for you. by the time they’re done smothering you with affection, singing you happy birthday, and making you eat their ‘special breakfast’, it’s after nine.

you take time to respond to all the messages you’ve received, and call back those who have called. still, there is nothing from mitsuya.

so you decide to call him. you do that twice, but it rings and rings before going to voicemail. you continue to brush it off as no big deal (although, it’s getting harder and harder to do).

after opening gifts from your parents, you head upstairs to change, before leaving the house. if he won’t answer, how about you just drop by and see him?

he lives relatively close by, so it’s no problem on your part.

you ring the doorbell, and stand back, patiently waiting for somebody to come to the door.

mitsuya comes out, about a minute later.

“y/n?” he looks genuinely surprised to see you. “what are — what are you doing here?”

“just wanted to stop by,” you admit. “what, i’m not allowed to see my boyfriend when i want?”

“don’t be silly, ‘course you are. just i’m…sorta busy right now.”

“…doing what?”

“ah, a couple of chores, you get it.”

“i can help!” you suggest, smiling at him. “it’ll get done faster that way, then we can hang out.”

mitsuya stays stood in front of the door, not stepping aside to let you through. your eyebrows knit together, confused.

“is something wrong? you’re acting weird.”

“babe, i’m just really busy right now. i really don’t want to ask, but can you go home? i promise i’ll call you later.”

“you’re so busy, that you can’t even spare an hour or something, to hang out with your girlfriend on her birthday?!”

he looks taken aback for a moment.

“what?” you huff, slowly getting more annoyed. “you didn’t know it was my birthday?”

mitsuya takes a deep breath.

“y/n. i have been so swamped with—”

“oh my god!” you interrupt. “you forgot your girlfriend’s birthday!” mitsuya tries to say something again, but the look you give him stops him in his tracks.

“you are such an asshole, mitsuya! i thought you cared about me!”

“of course i do love. listen, the truth is—”

“don’t fucking call me that, asshole! i hate you!”

you turn and fly down mitsuya’s driveway and back onto the street so fast that mitsuya can barely react. he takes off after you after a bit, calling for his sisters to shut the front door.

“y/n! y/n! shit, y/n wait!” he touches your arm and you stop. mitsuya actually looks hurt, which is ridiculous. he’s the one who forgot your birthday!

“go awa—” mitsuya cups your cheeks, and brings his lips to yours. for a second — just for a second, you melt. his mouth feels good against yours; right.

“stop it.” you build your walls back up.

mitsuya brings them down again with another kiss.

“let me talk, okay?” he pleads. “i didn’t forget your birthday, y/n. inside, my sisters and i were in the middle of decorating the house for a little party i was going to have for you. i ignored your calls on purpose, hoping you’d go hang out with some friends or something. i would’ve called you back after the girls and i were done.”

you blink, unshed tears disappearing with it. “seriously?” mitsuya nods, tiny smile on his face. “well…crap! guess i’m the asshole then.”

“you aren’t.”

“i totally am.” you shake your head. “im sorry i called you one. and im sorry i said i hate you. and i’m sorry i accused you of forgetting my birthday.”

“i know.” you lean into his hand when he strokes your cheek. “no more surprise parties — noted.”

“but uh. how about you come back with me, and we’ll all decorate the house together?”

b a j i

he’s been in a foul mood the whole day and, regardless of what you tell him, it seems to only get worse.

this morning, out of nowhere, a close friend of yours confessed that he’s been crushing on you for a while now. since you’re with baji, he wasn’t expecting the two of you to get together or anything, but he just had to get it off of his chest.

but it isn’t the confession itself that baji is angry about. girls have confessed to him too, despite knowing that he’s taken. what’s bugging him is how you responded.

“he’s my friend, keisuke! and he has been for years! did you want me to tell him to never talk to me again or something? i’m not throwing away years of friendship over stupid feelings.”

“you told him that nothing would change. but how won’t things be different? he’s fucking in love with you!”

he sounds unreasonable to you, and honestly you’re getting tired of trying to comfort him, or nurse his ego, or whatever the hell he wants from you.

“you can’t tell me not to be friends with him. i know what i’m doing, and he’s not going to make a move!”

“i know i can’t tell you that. but you know that you shouldn’t.”

“he’s my friend. i’m not letting him go.”

for the first time since this argument ensued, baji’s eyes meet yours. you almost feel like cowering under his intense gaze. he’s never, ever looked at you that way before.

“and why not?” he sneers. “you like his attention, huh? someone else payin’ attention to you. does that make you happy?”

the classroom door sliding open seems to startle you both. a student enters, mumbling an apology when they feel the tension in the room.

baji tuts, before grabbing his bag and storming out. you apologise to the student for the awkwardness, before picking up your own belongings and following after him.

by the time you get out, baji is already near the end of the corridor.

“keisuke!” you shout, not minding how loud your voice is since nobody else is around. “you’re really pissing me off!”

“oh? and what do you think you’re doing to me?”

you’ve got to run to catch up with him. “why are you so concerned about us staying friends? do you think i’ll end up running off with him, and leaving you?”

he doesn’t say anything in response to that.

“oh. so you don’t trust me?” his jaw clenches. he doesn’t tell you that you’re wrong, like you expect him to.

you grab baji’s arm, and force him to stop walking. “why are you dating me then, since i’m so untrustworthy?”

“…”

“keisuke.”

he huffs and avoids your eyes, despite your attempts to get him to look at you. your brows furrow, and you take your hand away from him.

“you’re so..! i really, really hate stupid jealous guys like—”

—you, you were meant to say. but the final word died in your throat, when baji covered your mouth with his hand.

he looks hurt. you’re sure you do too.

baji holds you as you cry; he swallows the lump in his own throat, willing himself to be strong for now.

𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚖𝚊

hanma and you have been together for a bit; just shy of four months. you’re at the point now where you are familiar with each other’s likes and dislikes.

while that’s a good thing for any relationship, what isn’t so great, is the fact that hanma doesn’t seem to care about what you don’t like.

example number one: flirting.

it’s been an issue since the beginning of your relationship. hanma, used to floating around from girl to girl, seems to find it hard to adjust to being in a committed relationship, despite being with you for three months.

he finds flirting with other girls harmless. quite frankly, you would too, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was so damn good at it!

hanma is able to flirt with a girl, and not think about her again. the girl on the other end isn’t; you can’t count how many times you’ve swatted away girls who claim to be more compatible with hanma, over a single conversation they’ve had with him.

you’ve spoken to him about it before, and each and every time you do, hanma will hold you by the waist, plant kisses on all of your weak spots, and tell you that it’s fine, because they’re not you.

and each time he does this, you melt. how can you not? so you forgive him, and move past it, not talk about the girl who’d come after him (or you) that time.

the next time it happens, this particular event that is being recited, hanma doesn’t seem to be as sweet about it as he usually is.

“why are we always having this conversation?” hanma inquires, leaning to the right so he can see the television screen you are standing in front of. “i’m still with you, aren’t i?”

“oh, and i should be grateful, should i?” you snap, stepping to the side to block his view once again.

“well, yeah??” he nods his head, mockingly, before leaning to the left to see the tv.

you head towards the sofa, and snatch up the remote that’s resting on the armrest. you point it towards the little box, which turns off the screen. you pretend not to hear the annoyed, “oh my god,” that falls from hanma’s lips.

“you’re such a jackass! i’ve told you a thousand times that i don’t like it when you flirt with other girls, even if it’s just for fun! it hurts my feelings, and it hurts theirs, because then they fall for you, and then we — no, i — have to deal with chasing them away!”

“you know what?” hanma stands from his seat. it takes only a single, large step for him to be right up in front of you. he’s so close, one could mistake it for an intimate position. his voice even lowers an octave, but what comes out of his mouth is anything but romantic;

“dump me, if i’m hurting you so bad.”

“…what?” you inhale deeply, unable to keep the surprise, and hurt off of your face. it doesn’t affect him, not in the slightest. instead, hanma remains firm, gaze unwavering.

“go on,” he challenges. “just dump me.”

“i…” pushing the rapidly growing lump in your throat down is a challenge. and, even when you do feel like you’ll be able to utter a sentence without any hiccups, you still can’t find it in you to tell him what he wants to hear.

“i hate you.” so this comes out instead; no louder than a whisper. as you walk away, out of his living room into the hall, you plead with your body to hold on for just a little longer.

‘break down at home, in the street even. just not anywhere near him’.

but, the silent pleading does nothing. you push the front door’s handle down to open it, and a painful sounding whine escapes your lips.

hurried footsteps come to find you, and then hanma is there; shutting the door you hardly opened, he pulls you into his arms.

“i screwed up, i screwed up.” he tells you, over and over again. and you listen to him, nod frantically into the space between his shoulder and neck. “i’m sorry. so sorry, you hear me?”

he’s far from being let off the hook from his actions tonight, but his apology is at least a start.

[here’s my masterlist !]

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

A Month | Week 1

Pairing: Atsumu Miya x f!reader

Prompt/summary: Fight after fight, you were losing patience with the man that you had loved for such a long time now, but one morning you finally hit your breaking point. You were tired. Tired of fighting and arguing, tired of trying to see a positive in the disagreements and tired of feeling uncared for— most important, unloved. Despite how many times your simple arguments had gone uncommented on with a simple apology from Atsumu and you forgiving him, things were different this time. This time, you wanted an out. An out that Atsumu wasn’t so quick to give you. The second he saw the divorce papers, he knew that he had to do something, doing so much as giving himself a deadline: one month was all he had to win you back over into his arms, but could he manage it?

Word count: 7.5K

Warnings/contents: Mild language, angsty themes, fluffy themes

Notes: This story was requested by @icelyn20​, so I take no credit for the overall idea of the story. I hope that this is everything that you were hoping it would be hon, and I’ll keep working on the others to keep getting them out as consistently as I can! 💛 

I imagine that because the first chapter has to set everything up, this is going to be the longest chapter in the series, however who knows. I never thought Hustler pt. 2 would be 9.8K words and yet here we are, so I won’t make any promises that another chapter won’t be longer. I’ll do my best to keep them 5K and above though!

Part 1 {current chapter} | Part 2 {Week 2} | Part 3 {Week 3} | Part 4 {Week 4} | Pt.5 {Week 5} 

<>~<>~<>

<>~<10:15 AM>~<>

“You’re such an ass Atsumu!” You yelled, a vain nearly popping out of your forehead as you yelled at the man you’d been married to for no less than 5 years now. He gave a scoff as if he couldn’t believe what you were saying, as if what you were saying wasn’t true and he was falsely accused of a crime that he couldn’t commit.

“I wouldn’t have to be an ass about it if you weren’t such an uptight bitch!” He yelled back in a self-assured way, as if he was completely justified in the situation.

“Are you fucking kidding me— how does this warrant you being an asshole? It’s a goddamn fight, not court!”

“Well maybe we should take it to court!” He said mindlessly. You looked as if you were going to say something, eyebrows furrowed inwards in anger before you closed your mouth and noticeably ran your tongue along the front of your top teeth.

“I fucking hate you sometimes.” You mumbled, turning away from the man and walking towards the bedroom.

“Ya know, yer not the easiest fucking person to live with either!” He called as you walked away, though all you did was ignore the man with a raised middle finger before you shut the door— hard. He stood there for a moment, crossing his arms and tapping his foot against the ground. “I should probably go apologize for callin’ her an uptight bitch. That was out of hand.” He mumbled to himself, though as he turned his head to check the clock, he realized that he was already late to practice. So with a huff, he grabbed his bag that he’d previously put on the ground by the door before the whole morning conversation blew up and left the apartment.

You heard the door shut, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring out the window. A bit disappointed when you heard him leave, but you couldn’t help thinking that was what you were expecting to happen. Atsumu wasn’t considerate when he was angry and he certainly didn’t know how to bite his tongue. At this point, you couldn’t even remember why the fight had escalated so much, but you did know one thing.

You were done.

It had been months since your last peaceful day with Atsumu. Things hadn’t changed right after you’d gotten married to the man, but they were now. It wasn’t a typical rough patch that you had when you were teenagers. Of course you fought— the two of you butted heads more often than not, but that didn’t mean you didn’t still love the man. You never thought that it was time to leave before. You could always think of a way to salvage the relationship, but this time you couldn’t. And it wasn’t what he said when the two of you fought that bothered you so much as how he acted. He was a petty man, ignoring you for hours on end.

Lately it seemed that Atsumu had just as many bad moments as he did good, though the good moments were always better than the bad, and yet he seemed to have gotten worse in his bad moments. Quieter, pettier, angrier. You didn’t want to put up with it anymore, and since you couldn’t immediately see a way to fix the solution, something Atsumu said came back to mind quickly.

“Well maybe we should take it to court!”

Divorcing Atsumu had never come to mind before, and now it was all you could think of. Recently, your friend had gotten divorced and she was having the time of her life alone and single again. You couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that was an option for you as well— maybe the only one left. If he really thought that you were such an uptight bitch, then he wouldn’t even want to be with you either, right?

Atsumu sat in his car, staring at the gym with a dull look on his face. All of the other cars were there, parked and the door was open so he could see people playing. He wondered if they knew he was here, and yet he didn’t care too much. He couldn’t stop thinking back to this morning— not even early really , it was less than 30 minutes ago.

He wasn’t proud. He felt bad. He had been having a hard few weeks and he was distant, he was taking it out on you even though he knew it was wrong. At this point, he had no idea how to make it up to you. There was something different this morning— you were more distant to the fight. Normally you would have started to cry out of frustration while you yelled back at him, yet this morning there was nothing. Merely an angry tone with no emotion behind your eyes that he could see.

Atsumu didn’t know what to do, but he was certain that a mere apology wasn’t enough, not this time.

The man blinked and looked to the side when there was a knock on his car window. Hinata stood there, a little smile on his face even as Atsumu didn’t smile back. The man rolled the window down as Hinata started to speak.

“—ey, Atsumu,” he said, only partially cut off. “We were wondering where you were or when you were gonna get here. You’re never late. Aren’t you usually the first one here along with Sakusa-San?”

“Just runnin’ late.” He said dully.

“Well come inside, we’re ready to get back to our main setter.” The man said without a care in the world, stepping back from the car so that Atsumu would open the door and get out, but when he didn’t, Hinata leaned back down and placed a hand on his window. “Are you okay this morning, Atsumu-San?”

“Just tired,” he brushed it off, giving his eyes a rub. He wasn’t so much as lying, he was tired. Emotionally tired. He was tired of not knowing why he was so pissy lately and now he was upset that he had upset you. It was a stupid, petty fight, he’d give himself that.

“Alright well… when you get yourself back up, we’ll be inside.” Hinata said slowly. He didn’t trust the man and Atsumu knew it, but he started to walk into the gym anyways, only sparing one final glance back at Atsumu’s car while the man rolled the window up and sighed.

“No use worrying about it right this second, right?” Atsumu asked himself. With another soft sigh, the man took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. “What are we gonna do, get divorced?”

<>~<9:45 PM>~<>

Maybe it was the consequence of being late this morning, but practice tonight ran longer than it normally did for MSBY, leaving Atsumu nothing short of exhausted— now physically and emotionally. He almost struggled putting the key into the door, not knowing that you were on the other side anxiously looking towards the door. He pushed it open, setting his bag and keys down and looking over at you.

“Oh, I didn’t think ya’d be awake.” He said with a yawn. You were quiet as the man turned his back to you and locked the door, sliding his shoes off before walking slowly to the kitchen. “Why are ya still awake?” You seemed to have a clenched jaw that made the man stop in his tracks. “What’s this?” He asked with a little frown. There were papers on the kitchen table, a pen on top and your name signed right beneath it.

“I want to get divorced.” Was all you said. Atsumu stopped, his jaw falling slack as he looked at you with wide eyes and then back to the papers.

“What…?” He asked beneath his breath, almost in disbelief as you refused to look at the man. “(y/n)—” He started, but you cut him off.

“It’s too late, Atsumu. The papers already signed, just save yourself the breath and sign your name, too. It’s simple. Sign it, we go our own ways, and you don’t have to be so miserable anymore.”

“You don’t make me miserable.” He said quietly, but you only ignored him and pushed the pen closer to him with your fingers.

“Just sign the paper.”

“No, I’m not gonna sign the paper—”

“Why do you always have to make everything so fucking difficult?” You asked, finally looking at the man. “Just sign the paper.” Atsumu took the pen, shoving it down into his pocket and shaking his head.

“No.” You were about to speak again before he cut you off. “We’ve had fights before, why do ya wanna give up now?”

“Because there’s no winning!” You said almost desperately. “There’s no fucking winning with you anymore, Atsumu. There’s no way to make it better anymore and I’m sick of it.” He racked through his scrambled thoughts, trying to think of what to say to make you stay, but nothing was running through his mind. An apology wasn’t enough, he already knew that, but he didn’t think that you would take it this far.

“Just… just give me a month.” He said finally— desperately. “Please, just give me a month to win ya back. If you still want to get divorced then… then I’ll sign the papers.” He promised. You were hesitant, the gears clearly turning in your head before you gave a soft sigh and rested your forehead in your hand to rub at your temples.

“Fine.” You said, thinking the month would pass quickly and he would sign the papers so you could both be on your way. You were certain this was what you wanted. After all that he’s done, how could he win you back in just a month? “But come October 1st, we’re officially done.” You said as you stood and gathered the papers in a neat stack. “I’m not giving you any more chances.” Atsumu sent you a grateful look and nodded.

“I promise— I’ll be better. I won’t lose ya this time,” he thought back to a big fight the two of you had when you first started dating that had the two of you separated though still technically dating for about a week and a half. Just like then, Atsumu was terrified of losing you now.

Without a word, you headed for the bedroom, setting the stack of papers on the little desk that were open to see with your signature on bottom. Atsumu walked over, setting the pen he’d pocketed down on top of the papers and looking at you.

“Can I start off this month by sayin’ how sorry I am?” He asked quietly. You gave a soft shrug, turning to walk towards the bed.

“I don’t know, can you?” Atsumu followed you, sitting on the edge of the bed while you went to the little closet that was beside your bed and got your pajamas out.

“I’m not excusing myself, but I’ve been pissy. I took it out on you and I know I shouldn’t. I promise that this is it.” He said, looking up as you walked out of the closet and shut the light off. “I understand that this is my last chance, and I’m not gonna screw this up.” He said seriously. “You mean everything to me, (y/n). You’re not an uptight bitch, that was out of hand. I shouldn’t have called ya that.” He said softly. “I’ll never talk like that to you again.” You hesitated for a moment before you moved closer to the bed. Atsumu straightened up, though you only pulled the covers back a bit and glanced at him.

“I can’t get into bed with you sitting there like that.” He moved, watching you get beneath the covers and shut your lamp off, the one beside Atsumu’s side of the bed still on. “Shut that off before you shower,” you said, closing your eyes as you held onto the pillow and left an arm out of the blankets. He gave a soft nod that he knew you couldn’t see and walked around to his side of the bed, flipping the light off so that the only light in the room was from the moonlight that came in through the window that you were facing.

“Goodnight,” he said, walking to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him with a soft sigh.

Wednesday, September 1st

Slowly, you opened your tired eyes, though quickly closing them right afterwards when the blinding sunlight came through the thin curtains that you had gotten months back. When you first bought them, you assumed that you’d wake every morning with your face buried into Atsumu’s chest rather than waking up facing the windows, though now that the two of you were having marriage trouble, you wanted to trade them back out for the ugly ones that were there before. At least those had been thicker.

You dreading turning to see the man beside you most likely already awakened by the sunlight and having to speak to him after the fight the other night, though as you sat up and rubbed your tired eyes, you gave the air a sniff and stopped.

There was the familiar sound of food being made. You checked the time and frowned. It was only 8 in the morning, what was Atsumu doing out of bed— a better question yet, what was he doing making food at 8 in the morning?

With a yawn, you got out of the bed, seeing his side of the blanket already pulled up the the pillows and made. An unusual occurrence, though you shrugged it off as you headed out of the bedroom in your tank-top and thick pajama pants, though you threw on a pair of fluffy socks quickly before you left the room. When you headed around the small counter corner for the kitchen, you saw Atsumu fully dressed making some eggs and pancakes. He sent you a quick smile before turning his attention back to the food.

“Good mornin’. I hope yer hungry.” You hesitated for a moment as you looked at the man before you spoke up.

“You made me breakfast…?”

“Well, us.” He said with a shrug. “Aren’t ya hungry?” You gave a hesitant nod as he smiled at you. “Perfect, take a seat and I’ll bring it to ya, it’s almost done.” You looked skeptically at the man before you went to sit down on the stools by the counter that looked into the kitchen through a small gap in the wall.

“What time did you wake up?” You asked as you watched the man flip the last pancake and set it on a stack before turning the burners off.

“About 7:30.” He said, pushing some eggs from the pan onto a plate and setting it in front of you before he put the pancakes and syrup on the counter as well. “Help yerself.” He sent you a small smile before getting his own plate, though he didn’t move to sit beside you like the other times that the two of you had breakfast— which felt like forever ago. You couldn’t even remember the last time that Atsumu had woken up to make himself breakfast let alone breakfast for the both of you.

You went to ask the man if he was going to sit beside you before you silenced, taking a pancake from the stack and setting it on your plate while Atsumu started to eat his eggs. You stole a quick look at the man as you grabbed the syrup.

“Thank you,” you said softly. He looked at you and gave a soft hum in question. “For breakfast.” You clarified. It was just a small thing, but it had shocked you. Since it had been so long, you weren’t expecting to wake up to the smell of food cooking. Atsumu smiled at you and nodded before swallowing the food in his mouth.

“Yer welcome. Enjoy.”

Tuesday, September 2nd

Work was dreadful today, leaving you exhausted after yet another restless night of sleep and waking up too early facing the bright windows. You brushed the hair back from your forehead as you walked around the staircase at the hotel that you worked at, stepping behind the check-in desk with one of your co-workers. You carefully picked up a small pile of papers and looked at all of them.

“What are these?” You asked the man who was checking someone in.

“Legal papers for the fire.” You sighed and rubbed your eyes. Less than a month ago there had been a fire in the kitchen due to a malfunction with the ovens, leaving you with a hefty price to pay on top of everything else along with lots of paperwork.

“Great,” you mumbled, sure that the rest of today was going to be poor. You grabbed a pen, knowing you were going to be standing there for another good hour reading and signing every single one of these papers, though while your co-worker was busy, the door opened to the inn and you had to stop what you were doing to greet the guest. Much to your surprise, when you looked up there was a delivery man bringing in a bouquet of flowers. Lillies, roses, pansies, a mixture that must’ve been expensive.

“Is there a Miya, (y/n) here?” The man asked, looking at you.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You said, assuming you needed to sign for another person in the building, yet he set the flowers down in front of you.

“Lucky you.” He said, getting a pen and paper out. “Someone must love you.” He offered you the small paper to sign, something you did absentmindedly as you looked at the large and beautiful bouquet of lively and open flowers. “Have a good day now,” he said, starting to head out.

“Yeah, have a good day yourself.” You said lowly, unsure of whether or not he had heard you, but being distracted by the flowers. Your co-worker finished signing in the new couple to a room and giving them the keys, though quickly turning his attention to you before they even left the counter.

“Atsumu must’ve done something pretty bad this time.” He said with a soft click of his tongue. You weren’t one for oversharing, but it was undeniable when Atsumu made you angry, let alone the times the man had come to your work nearly begging you to forgive him. The man had always thought that it was sort of romantic, however you had different thoughts and called it childish.

“Yeah, I guess. We had a fight. I wanted to get divorced and he’s trying to get me to stay.” You said softly, as if it was no big deal, though your co-worker choked on the air around him as he inhaled.

“I’m sorry, how can you say that so nonchalantly?” He asked. “You were thinking of divorcing him? That’s highly frowned upon let alone unheard of in workers in this inn, it isn’t a simple decision.” He said, but you shrugged.

“It seemed like it was.” He hesitated and raised an eyebrow at you.

“”Seemed”?”

“Well… when I was angry, I was sure it was what I wanted. Even now, it’s really hard for me to come up with a solution this time like the others. It’s only day 2 of him trying to make it up to me. I assume he’s going to give up soon.” You said, sounding saddened at the thought of losing the man and yet refusing to let yourself think about it. Your co-worker gave a sigh and handed you the inn phone.

“Call him. Let him know his advances are being recognized and maybe he won’t give up. Maybe this time he’ll actually try.” You were hesitant before you took the phone from the man. “I’ll be back, alright.” He said, heading towards the kitchen while you looked between the flowers and the phone.

You were torn. Were you still angry at Atsumu? Yes. Did you want to believe that he could change and that these two nice deeds so far were only the beginning of a changed man? More than anything, but at this point in life you refused to let your hopes get too high. After all, people were constantly letting you down and Atsumu hadn’t been excluded, he’d only been somebody you wanted to stick with despite being let down.

So with your bottom lip getting torn up between your teeth, you dialed the man’s number. You remembered it better than anything from the years of dialing his phone on the home phone after 9PM when your own was taken away for bedtime, leaving you only one option. You knew that your parents knew you called Atsumu after your phone was taken for bed, but it didn’t seem as though they cared so long as they knew you weren’t up all night on the phone.

The phone only rung a few times before the man answered, sounding absentminded.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Atsumu.” You said, making the man instantly pep up on the other end of the line.

“Oh, hey (y/n),” he said with an obvious smile on his face that you heard from the tone of his voice. “How are ya today?”

“I’m alright. I, uh…” You hesitated and looked at the pretty flowers, carefully turning the vase to see the other sides. “I got something from the mailman today.” That obvious smile was still on Atsumu’s face as he spoke.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” You said quietly. “They’re really pretty.”

“Only for a few days. Yer beauty is gonna last a lifetime.” He said, unknowingly making your cheeks flush.

“Look, I gotta sign a bunch of paperwork after the fire, so I have to go.” You said. “I just wanted to say thanks.”

“I’ll see ya at home tonight,” he said, hesitating for a moment before his smile seemed to drop. “Bye, (y/n).”

“Bye, Atsumu.”

Friday, September 3rd

A week had gone by as you came home, tired from another long day at work. You were surprised to see Atsumu’s shoes at the door, though even more to smell food being made. When you peeked your head into the kitchen, nobody was there, leaving you confused. You slowly walked back to the bedroom, seeing a small rose petal on the floor outside of the bathroom. With a frown, you pushed the half-open door open all the way and saw the man sitting on his knees by the bathtub that was letting out water so hot that it was already fogging the mirror up.

“Hey, welcome home.” He sent you a smile. “How was work?” You shook off the shock you felt and set your bag down on the small cabinet that was by the toilet.

“It was stressful. Are you taking a bath? There’s food cooking.” You went to scold the thoughtless man before he shook his head with a soft laugh.

“No, this is for you.” He said, straightening up. “While I’m finishin’ up dinner, I thought a warm bath might ease you. I know this week has been pretty shitty for ya and I thought this might help ya.” He offered, showing the mound of bubbles welling up in the hot bath with little rose petals scattered across the floor that made a small smile twitch at the corner of your lips.

“Thank you.” You said softly, trying to remember a time where Atsumu did anything more than tell you he was sorry that you’d had a long day and yet you came up with nothing. “What’s for dinner?”

“I’m makin’ something in the hotpot tonight.” He said, making your eyes seem to light up. “It’s yer favorite. Here, I’ll let ya get to the bath. It should be done soon, but take your time. I’ll keep the food warm for ya until yer done.” He promised, walking past you and shutting the bathroom door. You fiddled with your fingers for a moment before you started to strip off your clothes, going to wash your makeup off quickly before stepping into the tub.

Slowly, you sunk into the warm water and gave a sigh in relief. Thinking of washing this whole week away was enough to make you tired. You got comfortable in the bath, sliding down until the water covered your shoulders even if your knees bent up a little ways out of the water. Closing your eyes, you took a few minutes of peace, enjoying the almost dead silence of the bathroom before you noticed a familiar scent.

Looking over, you saw one of your favorite scented candles burning right beside you, though you swore that you were out and every time you looked for them, the stores were sold out. You were thinking of how he could have gotten one when there was a soft knock at the bathroom door and Atsumu peeked his head in.

“Hey, I got ya some wine at the store earlier and I thought that might be good to help ya unwind.” He said, walking in a bit and offering the glass to you. Carefully, you grabbed it, trying not to let it slip through your wet and soapy fingers.

“Thank you.” You said softly. He sent you a quick smile before turning to leave, but you were quick to catch him. “Hey, Atsumu— where did this come from?” You asked, pointing at the candle as he peeked back at you in question. “Did I have another one that I didn’t know about hiding somewhere?” You asked, knowing for certain that you didn’t. You remembered when your last one burned out because you had known that was it until you could make it to the store.

“No, I know you ran out of them, so I found some online and got a few a couple weeks ago. They just came in this mornin’ and I put ‘em in the cabinet under the sink.” He said. You were silent, fiddling with the wine glass in your hand.

“Oh.”

“I’ll leave ya be,” he said. “Enjoy the bath.” He shut the door, heading out of the bedroom while you brought the glass up to your mouth and took a small sip. You clenched your hand around it, shaking your head.

“Don’t fall for it,” you said to yourself beneath your breath. “He’s just going to be better for a month or two and then slip up again and you’ll be right back in the same spot.” You gave a sigh, sniffing the air a moment afterwards and rubbing your tired eyes. “Right…?”

Saturday, September 4th

A loud thunder crash woke you up, startling you from a good sleep after almost 5 nights of sleeping stiff and miserable from your fight with Atsumu. This time however, you were on your back rather than curled up on your side, meeting the ceiling in your dark room as your first sight. Just as lightning flashed, you saw the shadow of the swaying trees with the wind outside. Anxiously, you peeked over at Atsumu’s side of the bed, not seeing the man there.

It wasn’t to say that storms were your biggest fear, though being woken up by such a loud thunder crash that made it sound like your sealed and locked window was open had made your heart race. Peeking at the clock, you saw that it was nearly 3 in the morning and you wondered where the man was. Even if the two of you didn’t cuddle like you used to every night, he was still sleeping in the bed with you even after the fight.

You waited a few minutes, wondering if maybe he might come to bed. Sure, you were still sort of angry with him and you didn’t necessarily want him to hold you all night like he always did, but him being here was enough of a comfort. Even when you were mad at him, you’d known Atsumu for decades and you’d been through so much together. His presence may have been frustrating sometimes, but there was nothing better than familiarity.

When a few minutes ticked by with loud thunder and bright lightning and Atsumu was yet to return, you forced yourself out of bed. Wearing a long sleeved shirt and sleep shorts was a good idea tonight with how tired you were. Wrapping yourself up in a blanket from the bottom of your bed, you walked slowly out of the bedroom. The door was shut because the television in the living room was on. Atsumu sat on the sofa, looking tired and yet he was awake.

“What are ya doing awake?” He asked when he saw you from the corner of his eye, turning his attention away from the bright tv and onto you as you squinted and walked out of the room fully. “Did the storm wake ya?” He asked, almost going to reach out his arms for you but stopping; he wanted to respect your clear desire to be away from the man, untouched and unbothered. As hard as he was trying to keep you, he didn’t want to end up scaring you off.

“Yeah. I can’t sleep.” You stopped, hesitating before you slowly walked over to the sofa. Atsumu was surprised as you sat down on the cushion close to him, but you didn’t speak again.

“Well, if ya want to, we can watch something.” He offered you the remote that you shook your head at.

“Whatever you’re watching is fine.” You pulled your knees up to your chest and leaned back against the cushion, trying to get comfortable as another commercial started.

“It’s just an old episode of this show we used to watch.” He said, setting the remote back down on the armrest beside him. “Guess I was feelin’ nostalgic.” You were silent, watching as the show came back on. You smiled a bit, remembering all of the times you would hang out with the twins and watch this show together, though as you aged and got closer to Atsumu, the two of you often sat on the phone watching the show late into the night in your own houses.

“I remember this.” You yawned quietly, closing your eyes and snuggling back against the cushion, but another loud thunder strike made you jump. Atsumu felt bad, wishing he could do something to help you, but not knowing how. Before you’d snuggled into his arms and he gratefully held you, but now that you were in a fight, he was left guessing how to make things better.

“I know yer antsy because of the storm. I’ll stay up with ya until it passes. All night if we have to. If that’s what ya want, anyways.” He offered, watching you stare at the tv with a pretty plain expression on your face, though you gave a soft nod after he spoke.

“I’d like that.”

Sunday, September 5th

Slowly, you opened your eyes with a yawn. Your neck had a kink in it as you sat stiffly on the sofa, though when the storm finally passed around 5 AM the other night— or rather early this morning— you had fallen asleep almost immediately. You were surprised to look over and not see Atsumu and instead a small note on the cushion that read “I had to run to the store, be back soon.”

You wondered what he needed at the store but chose to ignore it, sluggishly getting off of the sofa and stretching your sore limbs out. With a puff of air exhaled from your nose, you went to the bedroom and quickly changed before going to brush your teeth. You rubbed your eyes as you finished, heading out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Just as you opened the fridge, the front door opened.

Atsumu set the bags down on the counter and saw you.

“Hey, don’t eat anything, I’m makin’ breakfast.” He said, quickly sliding his shoes off and locking the door. You walked around the counter, looking at the man who took a new carton of eggs carefully out of the bag and set it down on the countertop. “You can sit if you’d like, I’m not askin’ ya to help me.” He said. You took his words and sat on the little stool as he walked around to the other side of the counter where the stove was.

You looked at the carton of eggs as it brought back a memory.

“Do you remember when we were 14 and we just got home from the store for your mom and you dropped the whole carton of eggs and ‘Samu spilt the milk, so we had to go all the way back?” You asked, making the man immediately give a little laugh.

“Yeah, I remember that. Ya wouldn’t let Samu and I carry the bags back that time. I bet we looked like a couple of asses lettin’ you carry the bags and us doin’ nothing.” He said with a soft sigh in content. “That was a pretty fun weekend. You spent the whole time with us because yer parents were out of town, right?” He asked, looking at you as you nodded.

“I don’t think we slept the whole time.” You said softly, looking down at your lap. “I kinda wish we could experience that night again for the first time.” You mumbled, thinking back to how strongly you had been pining for Atsumu at that point, completely unaware that he had feelings for you as well. Everything seemed so serious with a small crush on your best friend back then. You hated how life got stressful as you aged even when you tried your hardest to keep things stress-free.

“I’d go back just to see the look on ‘Samu’s face when he dropped the milk after laughin’ at me for droppin’ the eggs.” A small smile twitched back onto your face for a moment as you thought about the shocked look on his face.

“That was pretty good.” You said quietly. “I’d go back to eat that dinner your mom made again, my god— it was so good.” You said, reminiscing back to the first time you’d tried a hotpot meal with the twins and their mom, unknowingly making Atsumu bite back a grin as this was the most you’d spoken to him in 5 days now.

“I’m sure she’d make it again for ya.” He said, cracking an egg when the frying pan got hot enough on the stovetop. “After all, yer her favorite out of the three of us.” He said in a joking way that made you smile a bit again.

“She always made me feel so at home when I came to your old house.” You shifted on the little stool, thinking back to having a bad fight with your mother or feeling bad because of your dad and finding your way to the Miya household only to feel nothing but welcome by the little family. As chaotic and loud as it could be in comparison to your own cold seeming household, it was home. It was what you had always wanted home to feel like. Atsumu was home. “I, uh— I have to go to the bathroom.” You said, quickly standing up. “I’ll be back.” You said, quickly walking towards the bedroom and going into the bathroom with a sigh. You ran your hands through your hair and tried to stop thinking back to all of the good years quite yet.

There was still time for him to give up, and maybe it was pessimistic of you, but you refused to let him break your heart for a third time. You tried hanging onto the feeling that this relationship was no longer salvageable, and yet you were at a loss. You thought back to how happy the two of you typically were and how safe and at home you felt with Atsumu in his arms, seeing him smiling, hearing his laughter. It tugged at your heartstrings as you tried to hold it back and gave a sigh.

“Not yet. Don’t give in so quick.” You mumbled to yourself. “Make him prove himself this time, dammit.”

Monday, September 6th

The bell dinging caught the man’s attention as his back was turned, though he was quick to catch up with the new customer walking into the shop.

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya, just a moment and I’ll be with you.” Osamu spoke up.

“Take your time.” You said, making the man quickly turn at your familiar voice.

“(y/n)!” Osamu said with a grin. “Hey, how are you?” He asked, turning his attention away from what he was doing as he walked over to the counter. “It’s been a little while.”

“Yeah, I’ve been crazy busy with work.”

“How are things after the fire?” He asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter as you ran a hand through your hair and gave a sigh.

“God, so stressful, but things are finally starting to work themselves out. I just finished all of the paperwork needed and work is going to start tomorrow on the inn, so here’s to hoping that everything will be done quickly and we can get back into proper working function.” You said, glancing at the menu. “It’s been awhile and I thought that I might come to see you. How is business?”

“Busy, it’s been an amazing month so far. I can only hope we both make it to next month with good work.” He said. “Where’s my idiot brother?”

“He’s at practice.” You said, wondering if Atsumu had ever spoken to his brother about your threat of divorce. Part of you wanted to think that if he had, Osamu would have called you immediately and asked what all was happening. He wasn’t an intervener when it came to arguments with Atsumu, picking his brothers side and making you feel crazy, however he had saved you a lot of trouble by helping you solve some minor problems.

“And is everything alright with you guys? I haven’t heard anything lately so I assume things are all good?” You sent the man a little smile and nodded, not wanting to start up something that you didn’t need to.

“Things are good. Atsumu has actually been really great lately. He’s been making me breakfast and just this week he sent me this gorgeous bouquet of flowers.” Osamu raised an eyebrow at you.

“Really? Wow. I don’t think he’s a shitty husband or anything, but I didn’t know he was that good.” You sighed and shook your head.

“I didn’t either.”

“Did you two have a fight recently? Is he trying to make it up to you?” He pressed, knowing that something was wrong even if you didn’t say it. You looked down and nodded. “What happened?”

“I told him I wanted to get divorced and he’s trying to make me stay.” Osamu hesitated before gently pressing a hand to your shoulder.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Are ya thinking that the two of you might be able to make it out of this one?” He asked, knowing that your relationship was sturdy and yet he knew that his brother was a fool. You were a strong person and Atsumu wasn’t someone you needed financially, you had only wanted him so you stuck around with him.

“I don’t know.” You whispered. “I think that I want to, I just… I don’t want things to change in just a couple months. I’m worried that if I take him back and I— say— tear up the papers, he’ll just slowly go back and I’ll be right back here.”

“How long has it been?”

“Almost a week. He wants me to give him a month to make it up to me.”

“Well, it has only been a week. It can go either way, he’s being great, right?” He asked and you were quick to nod your head. “Then maybe he’ll stay great. Maybe he’s taking this seriously for once. I know he’s an idiot, but when you really threaten him with things, it can get through his thick skull. I don’t want to think of you getting divorced, but if he changes back then you’ll know there’s just no saving it.” He said with a light shrug. “Now, what can I get ya? Free of charge for my sister-in-law. You do have to live with my brother after all, I feel kinda bad for you.” A soft laugh came from you as you looked at the man with a small smile.

“Thank you, Osamu. I don’t… I don’t think I really want to get divorced. I love him, I just… I don’t want to be unhappy.”

“And if things are meant to be, you won’t be.” He promised. “Now, what can I get ya?”

Tuesday, September 7th

A quiet sound of keys clicking on a keyboard rather quickly slowly awoke Atsumu from his slumber. He gave a soft groan and rolled over, peeking open his tired eyes and seeing you sitting up, a pillow on your lap to hold your laptop steady as you typed, though when he moved you looked over.

“It’s late, you should sleep for practice tomorrow.” Was all you said before you turned your attention back to your laptop.

“What are ya doin’ up if it’s so late?” He asked slowly, his voice muffled as his face squished against his pillow, something that you’d always thought was cute. Tired Atsumu had this tinge to his voice that wasn’t only the raspy tone, but it was different. It was cute.

“Just working on something for work.” You said, but that was a lie. You had previously been trying to do some things for work, but you got distracted as you looked at the man beside you, so you started to make a pro and con list. It felt silly, but you were trying to really think about all of Atsumu’s flaws and decide if they were still bearable, however your relationships list had many more pro’s than it did con’s as of right now and it was conflicting you.

Was it because you were still in love with him? Did you need to distance yourself more? Did you need to think deeper? Did you need to find more flaws in the man beside you? You didn’t want to make the pro’s so long and the con’s so little purely because you were biased towards the man, that didn’t feel right to you, but neither did looking for things that were wrong with him.

After all, you wouldn’t want him to look for things that were wrong with you. Of course there were many, everybody had flaws and things to work on, but what got you the most right now was that Atsumu seemed to be trying really hard. He’d lasted longer than you thought he was going to, almost a whole week now since he promised that he was going to change, that this time was going to be different. You wanted to believe him, but you didn’t want to get hurt. That was what you were the most afraid of right now.

The pro’s list felt too vague and the con’s seemed too detailed. A few pro’s were simple, the way that he made you smile when he was laughing, feeling happy and safe when he was around like nobody had ever made you feel, falling in love with every single smile and soft look from the man, the sex that made you feel like you were having an amazing out-of-body experience, the way that he would get so excited about little things and make you excited about them as well purely because he was so happy. And yet some of the con’s were simple as well, how he fought with you about every stupid little thing when he was pissed off at something else, how he would be childish and ignore you for hours on end when he was wrong and yet  still waiting for you to come to him, how he would only try and change when things got taken too far.

You were completely split down the middle; as many more pro’s that there were, the con’s weren’t little things. They were things that were important to you; consistency and communication were key, and yet Atsumu seemed lacking in both of the areas that mattered most to you.

“Can’t sleep?”

“Not really.”

“Hmm,” he gave a drawn out sound, making you think he was falling asleep as you continued to think up things and type them down as you evaluated the list, but he spoke again. “I hope ya get to sleep soon, baby.” He said it absentmindedly as he fell asleep again, but it made your heart skip a beat.

Atsumu was taking things slow. He was giving you the space he knew that you needed during this time all the while putting in genuine effort, but tonight was the first time he’d called you a familiar pet name since the fight. You hesitated before typing another thing down on the pro’s.

“The way that I feel when he calls me “Baby”.”

[awkwardspontaneity]

Hello. This is my first request for the Legend of Zelda, so I do not know how to write it correctly. I don't speak English and I'm writing this in a translator, so there may be mistakes here, sorry. In general, I want to see how the reader will react to the fact that Revali, Link and Sidon cheated on her. (something made me feel sad) Thank you in advance ╹▽╹

I'm so sorry something happened to upset you. If it's along the lines of this request give me a name😤👊 anyways thank you so much for requesting!! This ended up being so much longer than I intended but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope this is what you're looking for!

✨ requests are open✨

Warning: angst, cheating

Revali🐦

I think with his prickly nature not a lot of people would stick around long enough to get to know how much he cares

But some bitch saw how much he was training to perfect his powers to help Hyrule and couldn't resist

It started off as bringing him lunches and heat pads after a long day of training and then it escalated

They would wrap his wings up and suddenly he was letting them fix his braids. He never saw it as much more than a fan helping him out but you saw differently

It ended up in a big fight when you finally brought up how Revali was allowing this fan to hang off of him like they were his partner not you. You brought up excellent points like how he took such a long time to even trust you with braiding his hair and that he could at least let them know he's in a relationship.

Revali got upset (probably cuz ur right and he can't admit it) and snapped that at least they appreciated him

Yeah bad move. You walked out and bird brain left to train away the pain

You came across his first and decided to head to the shooting range with some peace snacks but what do you find?

You walk up the slope towards the archery range, a container of Revali's favourite snacks in hand. As you approach you see something sitting inside the hut and assume it's him. Sterling your breath you walk into the hut and what you find takes your breath away- not in the good way either. Revali sat there with his wings wrapped around them, too caught up on their liplock to notice you standing there.

CRASH

The container hits the ground with a shatter, ruining their little scene.

"Y/n-"

"Don't even try it." You wish your voice didn't sound as broken. No matter how much your heart squeezed in pain from the betrayal, you wanted to come off so much different- angrier. Because you were angry. "Just because we have an argument does not give you the right to run off with your new friend."

Revali flinches at the word and you feel a sick glimmer of satisfaction. He opens his mouth to protest, ignoring your glare. "I-I'm sorry." Your glare darkens and he immediately flounders for the right words. "You accused me of something I didn't do-"

Yeah, not the right words. You wish you could do something, anything to hurt him like he hurt you. But you had to be the bigger person no matter how much you wanted to snap that precious bow of his in half.

"I accused you, not have you permission."

"We can work through this, together" his wing reached out to you, but you recoiled to fast.

"We're not together." You walked towards the entrance "I hope it was worth it."

Link 🗡️

Link is a closed off person. Sure he has people worship him for his title as the hero of Hyrule, but he would never let that get to his head. You could tell this boy he's amazing and it still wouldn't get through his insecurities

Maybe it's cruel but, that almost reassured you he would never break your heart like that. You felt secure in your relationship

That's why it was so shocking when you found out he had fallen for Zelda.

It wasn't meant to ever be more than knight and princess. And you never should have found out.

You were walking towards the stables of your party was staying at. It was supposed to be a simple trip to complete some research out in the plains. Of course your trip was ambushed by an energetic princess who begged to come along for research purposes. You couldn't complain because the addition of the princess also came with your boyfriend Link.

Now you were looking for him outside the small ranch. You fully expected him to be caring for Epona like he always did after a long trip. His love for his horse was something you had always loved about him. The way he would stay later than everyone else to make sure she was okay. It had made stables kind of your spot. Hanging out at the end of a long day to talk and spend time together while caring for your steeds.

Maybe that was why your heart felt so utterly shattered when you did find him, standing next to the stable, with the princess in his arms. Maybe you could have fooled yourself into believing he was being friendly if he hadn't pressed a long loving kiss to her forehead followed by both her cheeks, chuckling softly as she giggled.

You knew they had always been close. I mean they spent all their time together. You'd just never thought that Link would do something like this to you.

You walked away from the stables fighting backs the tears in your eyes. It was only when you found you had walked into an older area, a spare shack outside, that you finally let the tears fall. Your heart twisted in pain as sobs tore from your throat.

Why hasn't you seen this? Why weren't you enough?

------

Your research trip was almost over. You had gone back late into the night to find Link on the edge of his bed head in his hands. He had shot up to demand where you had been when you finally walked in and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he accepted that you had been organizing your research supplies and notes in quiet.

That had been 3 days ago. You had spent the research trip sticking close to your colleagues, poring over each plant and testing their uses. The princess was too distracted with her own interests to really notice how you shied away from her presence. Link had though. And he was about done with you brushing him off in favour of your work. You both were busy so not having time was nothing new. But this was different. You couldn't meet his eyes and he had caught you staring at him and Zelda as if you were about to cry before. He was at a loss and now he needed to figure things out for himself.

However he wasn't quite ready for the answer.

"I saw you and Zelda together."

His throat closed up. He wanted to say so many things. How sorry he was. How he wished he could have told you himself. How he wished he could hold you and forget how complicated things were.

"it's okay." Now that, he wasn't expecting. "I thought I could be mad at you. Both of you. But I guess... It just makes sense." You sniffled softly. You really didn't want to do this. You hated that it had to be you who gave up. But we're you really going to fight? No. As much as it tore your heart into pieces, you would stand aside for them. "I wish that things hadn't changed but, clearly you don't feel the same anymore and I don't want to hold you back. I love you. So much. But I don't deserve this, and I won't put either of us through the trouble. I hope you two are happy together Link."

As you walked towards your friends to head home Link felt his heart clench. You deserved so much better.

Sidon🦈

You were a princess from another kingdom, betrothed to Prince Sidon of the Zora. We all know how these things go, neither of you were all that fond of the idea but you would go through with it. For your kingdoms

You tried to be as understanding as possible of the situations, knowing that the prince was just as trapped as you were. So you played along with your parents wishes.

You two went on dates and spent time together, getting closer and closer until finally you kissed him.

Things were great. You were planning your wedding and enjoying the time you spent with your fiance as you prepared for your future

It wasn't until a few days before the wedding when you were trying on your dress that things fell apart.

Your dressmaker had been in a bad mood, grumbling as they worked and even sticking you with needles a few times. You would have brushed it off as a bad day if not for the facts that they seemed so unapologetic.

You finally brought it up, softly asking if there was something wrong and if you could help. They snapped, going off about how you were ruining the princes life and that he didn't love you and was only marrying you for his kingdom and that he deserved to be happy.

They realized their mistake and left quickly, leaving you alone in your wedding dress with shocked tears slipping down your face.

You later made you way to Sidons office, hoping to clear some things up and maybe seek comfort from the one you loved.

What you didn't expect was to find him already comforting someone. Your dressmaker.

You watched as he whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to them. It was when he said no matter what they were the one that he loved when you broke away.

You stood in your room, packed bags beside you. You knew there were better ways to deal with this. You knew that your kingdom was counting on you and thus marriage. You just couldn't go through with it. Not anymore.

"Y/n?"

You sound around to find the Zora princess standing in your doorway. Mipha had become a close friend in your time in the Zora domain, even feeling like family as you worked closely planning the wedding. She had once told you that you were everything she could hope for in a sister and wife for her brother. You guessed it didn't matter in the end.

Finally you choked out pained words "I can't... I just... I can't do this anymore."

"If you are feeling nervous, I can assure you my brother would never hurt you."

This made you laugh. It was cold, similar to the ice creeping into your veins. "He would. And he did." You cut off Mipha's confusion, wringing a hand through your hair, "Sidon is in love with someone else. I made every effort to work through this engagement despite our... rocky beginning. But he didn't choose me back. He never wanted me, and I won't ruin his chance to be happy."

The room was silent after your outburst. You only noticed the tears when your friend wiped them from your eyes. She offered you a small smile, sharing the pain you felt. She was losing you and still understood it was best for you. You needed to move on and save yourself from a life of pain. A life of being chosen second.

"I hope one day we can meet again, sister."

You let out a choked mix of a son and laugh. Hugging the princess before you grabbed your bags and walked out the door, out of the kingdom that stole your heart and crushed it in its hands.

"I love you, always."

[balkanradfem]

There was several groups of people hate-following her, both alt-right and liberal, collecting everything she said online and attempting to smear campaign her, by taking everything out of context. They finally succeeded when she made a completely innocent tweet about the 'Reya and the Last Dragon' movie, comparing it to Avatar the last Airbender, which is a comparison everyone else made as well. However It escalated on twitter to the point where she was called racist against asian people and even responsible for death of asian women, which was a viral hate-crime event at the time.

People specifically interested in cancelling her then compiled all of her perceived 'crimes', which were all tiny transgressions, something a m*n would never even be held accountable for, and also very normal and common for the time period she had been doing it. Pretty much everyone did the same stuff but only she was decided to be singled out and attacked for it. People harassed and abused her online until she deleted her Twitter account. She then made a now-unlisted video called 'Mask Off'. In the video, she explained exactly what happened, and then went on to explain, acknowledge and apologize all of the micro transgressions she was attacked for, and she did it with so much nuance and grace, I still admire her for it. She also came out about her experience being drugged and raped, because it tied in to something people were coming after her for. I didn't see it happen, but I can only assume that knowing this information, people went on to try to trigger her about all personal information that came out in that video, because little after that, she posted her last video on youtube.

There was significant glee and very blatant proclamations that they'll come after Jenny Nicholson next, and SarahZ next, as they were both significant and almost equally popular female youtube figures at the time. It was obvious that women did absolutely nothing to deserve that, and people intentionally wanted to take influential women down from the platform. Neither SarahZ nor Jenny Nicholson have posted as many videos since then, and their public content has become significantly rare, in order to protect themselves against the same trauma that was bestowed upon Lindsay.

I believe this is the same reason illuminaughtii is currently getting cancelled, the accusations about her are basically "she's not a completely perfect person" and it's not supported by any concrete evidence, only stuff like 'she was mean to a male once'. I've never followed her so it didn't impact me directly, but I hate it, she was also making intellectual content and she has the right to keep doing it. Males are doing thousand times worse shit left and right and getting a pass.

Thank you so much @sapphic-schizo for alerting me that Lindsay put up a new video! I never saw it in my feed even though I'm subscribed, I can't wait to see it, I just want to see how she's doing.

Also, I got another comment saying it was 'libfems' who participated in harassment of Lindsay, but I don't see how that makes any difference to what was happening, I find that argument is merely derailing the topic. If women stand with m*n and fight their battles, that's still misogyny. If we're looking at every act of misogyny and asking ourselves 'well did some women participate in it too?' as an attempt to blame the women for it, we're stopping the discussion there, we can no longer hold m*n accountable, because oh well, some women did it too.

Instead what we should be asking, is who benefits from it. Women were standing with m*n and fighting their battles trough all of the history, it was like that with women's right to vote, to work, to own property, to own a bank account. But women had no benefit from it. They were working towards their own demise. Women also had no benefit from Lindsay being harassed off the platform, and other influential creators being threatened with it. That benefited m*n only. We can point fingers at them.

I've been missing some of my favourite women on youtube; they either post extremely rarely, or are completely off the platform, like Lindsay Ellis. After the brutal and misogynistic treatment of Lindsay, I noticed the amount of long video essays by women lessened, as I expected it to. SarahZ was posting less too, Jenny Nicholson's videos became a rarity, and some creators publicly commented about how debilitating it was to create while knowing they will be attacked from every angle, by m*n who were enraged that women are saying things online. I thought women became too stressed and afraid to create, until I realized they simply moved into the private sphere. Nebula and Patreon, there they would have a very limited, paying audience who was safe for them, and they wouldn't be exposed to this level of harassment, as their content is not free anymore.

I think it was a great move by all of them, to move where it's safe for them to create and make a living out of it, but it showed me that women are still only allowed to exist in private. Women are chased away from the public sphere brutally, and they have to create private spaces to be able to talk. M*n, on the other hand, are still freely making long video essays using next to no braincells and adding so much misogyny and male stupidity into it, that it's unwacthable. But they get to do it, they get to be paid for it, publicly, with maybe a tiny percentage of harassment women suffer. They get to shower the public with mediocre, unfunny, dumbed down, sexist and gross content and nobody will do a thing about it. Meanwhile women creating engaging, funny, educational, insightful, extremely well researched and presented content, will be exposed to hatred that will shut them down, and move them into private spaces.

It made me so mad, and so helpless to think about this, and I concluded that in response to this insanity, we should be allowed to disband the males. And by this I mean, we should get to close down every male-made public institution and organization. We should get to shut down male governments, we should get to shut down male wars, corporations, mafia, pornography and human trafficking rings, studios, companies, stores, it should all be made illegal overnight, defunded, disbanded, and shut down instantly. That would be equality because clearly they can and do it to us constantly. And we'd make a new system so fast anyway, and it would have so much less stupidity, so much less murder, it would be freaking incredible. And they'd be mad because in the new system, they would no longer be able to rape and murder as much, there would be less wars so they don't get to go and steal resources and human lives anymore, they wouldn't be able to get brainrot of pornography, boo. They created a system that doesn't even do them any good, it just makes them sick. It should all go down. Fuck their shit. We should get to rule everything. And youtube should be female-only. M*n can talk in private.

[nicnacsnonsense]

I want to break down what Mary says to Stede during the flashback in episode 4 where she’s trying to talk about his unhappiness. Because while I’m not here to shame Mary for showing up imperfectly or not being a therapist, I think a lot of people are missing the fact that she handled the conversation poorly. I certainly applaud her for making an effort, but it’s not surprising it wasn’t effective.

She opens the conversation with the line “I know you’re unhappy. I’m unhappy too.” As a start this is fine. Certainly we have to give credit to her admitting to her own happiness as a fantastic gesture of empathy and vulnerability which should serve to help Stede feel more comfortable as well. Beyond that it seems likely what Mary is attempting to do is circle back to the argument they had earlier regarding the ship in a reconciliatory way, validating his emotions that lead to his actions even if she didn’t like the actions themselves. And I do think if she had said this during the fight where it was clearly a deescalation, it probably would have gone over relatively well.

The problem is this happening much later that day, so instead of deescalating from yelling to a calm tone, this reads to Stede as an escalation from the conversation being over to Mary bringing it up to needle him about it again. Given Stede's history of abuse and harassment, it's very possible that he's even thinking this is some kind of test or trap, and if he fails it by admitting to his unhappiness he'll get in trouble again. Mary's comment about being unhappy too helps, but only if he hasn't internalized that he is held to different, stricter standards than other people.

Like I said, I don't hate it as an opening; Stede's negative reaction has just as much to do with his own issues as it does Mary's presentation. But if I were to make suggestions, I would say to get rid of the sentence "I know you're unhappy" which could feel accusatory to Stede, and replace it by making the implicit apology here explicit. For example, "I'm sorry I yelled at you for calling our lives monotonous earlier. The truth is, I'm unhappy too."

So Stede says that he isn't unhappy, which Mary replies to with, "No? Sometimes, I think I I've heard you crying. By yourself?" I understand the impulse here that prompts Mary to say that. When someone tells you you're wrong, it's a normal reaction to immediately pull out evidence that you're right. Especially when it might feel to her that Stede is being deliberately uncooperative just to be stubborn or petty. But holy cow, is that one of the worst possible responses she could have given here.

To start with, while I said Stede might find her first statement accusatory, just about anyone would feel that way about this statement, since it literally is an accusation. Her tone might be tentative, but the clear meaning here is she is accusing him of lying. Of course that's going to make Stede feel defensive.

Not only that, but Mary has no right to contradict Stede about what his personal feelings are. No one has the right to tell anyone else what they're feeling, and doing so is incredibly infantilizing. I don't care how sure Mary is that Stede is lying, she shouldn't say that, not unless she's pointing out a direct contradiction in something else that he had said. Beyond that the most she should be doing is explaining how certain words or actions of his made her feel and the impression they gave her.

We could charitably assume that that's actually what she's trying to do here, but beyond the fact that she should have been clearer about her intentions if that is the case, she should have chosen literally any other behavior of Stede's to illustrate her point. If she's heard Stede crying alone, on multiple occasions no less, then we have to assume those were deeply personal emotional moments for him, the kind that would make him feel uncomfortable and embarrassed to have overheard in the best of circumstances. And here Mary is using those private moments of pain as a gotcha to make an accusation she has no right to be making in the first place.

What the better response would be in this situation depends on what Mary wants to accomplish here. If she thinks it's important to have Stede open up to her emotionally, then rather than trying to facts and logic him into admitting how he feels, she should be focusing on making him comfortable with telling her. Tell him it's okay if he's unhappy and validate that he has reasons to be and share more of how she's also unhappy. But if she is more concerned about having a conversation about how to improve things and move forward, then just accept what he said and back her point down to something more neutral that still allows that there is a problem to be addressed; say they aren't as happy as they could wish to be.

After Mary tries to call Stede out for crying, Stede denies that he did any such thing. This prompts the final point in the conversation before Stede fakes sleeping to be out of it, where Mary says, "I know we never would've chosen each other, not in a million years, but all we have is this one life. We have to try, don't we? Otherwise, what's the point?"

I do like the bit about how they never would have chosen each other; that builds that empathy between them and it also fits in with what I was saying about validating that Stede has reasons to be upset. It's also important to recognize that at this point I don't think Mary is necessarily trying to get Stede to open up to her. I still want to assess it on that metric, but to be fair to Mary this last statement seems to be just as much about her trying to work through her own feelings as it is about trying to engage with Stede.

That said, "we have to try" is just a terrible thing to say here on a number of different levels.

1) It comes off as dismissive of Stede’s unhappiness. Yes, it’s true on some levels that unhappiness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still try, but actual compassion for Stede’s unhappiness would involve looking at how to adjust expectations and standards to account for and hopefully address that unhappiness, not just an insistence he needs to keep trying anyway.

2) It actually undermines the empathy of admitting to her own unhappiness and the fact that neither of them would have chosen each other. Now instead of a show of solidarity, it feels like another way to dismiss Stede’s unhappiness: I feel unhappy too and I’m still trying so there’s no excuse for you.

3) It carries the implication that Stede has not been trying. Best case scenario here is that he really hasn’t, and now he’s being shamed for that which is unlikely to achieve anything beyond making him feel bad. The alternative is Stede has been trying, and now he’s just been told that his efforts have gone unnoticed and unappreciated and they do not count. At that point he may well stop trying because why bother if it’s not going to be good enough anyway?

I want to take a brief detour to talk about the ship conversation and how their miscommunication there is reflected in Mary's comment about trying. To Mary, going to live on a ship is very much a case of you can't run away from your problems because you take your problems with you. Because she would literally be taking Stede, the source of her problems (both in an interpersonal sense and as a symbol of her being forced to marry someone she did not know, wouldn't have chosen, and is not compatible with), with her. So this does not look like Stede is trying to fix things here, just paper over their problems with silly distractions.

For Stede, his unhappy marriage is only one of the problems he has as a effeminate neurodivergent queer living in a society that tolerates none of those things. Running away to live on a ship where he wouldn't be facing constant disdain for everything he is from all sides would in fact solve some of his problems. Not all of them, but enough to give him more mental and emotional capacity to start addressing the rest. This idea was him trying, and it was a reasonable good faith effort on his part.

I don't have any specific advice regarding Mary's last comment. Instead it relates to my overall impression of what went wrong here on Mary's end. She came into this conversation with an open heart and desire to talk things through with Stede, but not an open mind or any interest in hearing Stede. She seems to have already made up her mind about Stede's intentions and what kind of person he is, and to be honest it's not a flattering picture. Stede does need to learn to open up more, yes, but also their relationship was never going to improve unless Mary started to be willing to hear him, and admit she was wrong about him.

[sirikenobi12]

War & the Jedi

This will be a long meta rant, FYI.

The Jedi Order, specifically the Prequel era Jedi Order, gets a lot of hate these days particularly regarding their involvement in the Clone Wars. Accusations are tossed at their feet constantly ranging from corruption all the way up to warmongering. 

Let’s first look at the Oxford English Dictionary definition of these two accusations, shall we?

Corruption - having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.

Warmonger - a person who encourages or advocates aggression towards other countries or groups.

The definitions of these two words are so very misunderstood when it comes to relation to the Jedi. If the Jedi are truly “corrupt” then where are the examples of their dishonesty for wealth or personal gain? In fact, I’d argue that canon (and Legends) makes a point to show us that it is the Sith who are in it for personal gain, not the Jedi. The Jedi have absolutely NOTHING to gain from this war on a personal level, in fact they are losing members in terrifying numbers.

The Jedi are also not advocating aggression towards the Separatists, in fact what we see instead is the Jedi DEFENDING against the Separatists. I have yet to see in either canon or legends an instance where the Republic forces invade a Separatist planet who doesn’t have an army or some military involvement (i.e. weapon factories). However, time after time we see the Separatists forcing peaceful planets who want nothing to do with them to either bow to their cause or die (i.e. Ryloth, Lurmen planet, Kiros, Mandalore) the Jedi and Republic Troops will then follow the Separatists to these planets, but they try to do what they can to liberate the planet from the Separaist invasion and then they give the planet the OPTION to join the Republic for safety and economic reasons, but they never force them, as is super evident with Mandalore.

Yet people don’t seem to see this and continue to drag the Jedi through the mud. 

Here are the top 5 other “woke” takes I hear - 

Jedi are peacekeepers and should not have gotten involved:

 First things first, let’s look at the definition of Peacekeeper - a soldier, military force, etc., deployed to maintain or restore peace. 

I’d argue by that definition the Jedi were still peacekeepers, it’s true that they weren’t a 3rd party as they normally were before the war, but their position was trying to maintain or restore peace. Peacekeeper is not the same thing as a Pacifist, the Jedi were skilled warriors (training from childhood to wield a lightsaber), the difference is Jedi used their skills for defense not attack which is what we constantly saw throughout the Clone Wars. 

With regards to the idea that Jedi “should not have gotten involved” I ask you then what exactly were they supposed to do instead?

 We see at the beginning of Attack of the Clones that the Jedi are worried things will escalate to war, they have obviously gone to the Chancellor hoping that a diplomatic solution can be presented to avoid bloodshed. Or if that isn’t possible then that the Republic have some way to defend themselves other than relying solely on the Jedi (i.e. an army). The Separatists are the ones pushing them to a breaking point, were the Jedi just supposed to stand back and let innocent people be invaded/killed because they didn’t want to get involved? The Jedi were “Guardians of Peace and Justice” which means it was their duty to help bring about peace in the galaxy while also enacting justice. 

Then after Geonosis (where they lost approx. 187 members mind you) they learned that the Sith are leading the Separatist army - the Jedi are duty bound by their code to fight the Sith, they had no choice but to join the war. 

So, I ask again...what were they supposed to do instead?

2.  Jedi used a slave army for their own purposes:

 Okay, I can (and probably will) write a whole argument based on just this accusation alone. There are so many fallacies I don’t even know where to begin but I’ll try. 

I guess my first question is the same as #1, what were the Jedi supposed to do instead with regards to the Clones? 

Technically speaking the Clones didn’t “belong” to the Jedi, they were “property” of the Republic (as stated by Lama Su in Attack of the Clones). In fact, the Jedi Council not only didn’t know about the order, they had vehemently denied Syfo Dias’ earlier request to raise an army in the first place. The Sith KNEW the Jedi would be against it, this was all part of their plan to trap the Jedi (as was EVERYTHING about the war) - they clouded the Force, they literally deleted Kamino from the Archives so the Jedi wouldn’t discover it until the Sith WANTED them to (i.e. Jango just happened to use a Kamino dart?? Come on people). Yoda even states “blind we are if creation of this clone army we could not see” he fully admits they missed it because the Dark Side was clouding their vision. 

Regardless, the army was created, there was no changing that fact. Had the Jedi not taken command of the army do you think the Clones wouldn’t have had to go to war? Do  you actually believe that the Republic who couldn’t get their citizens to give 2 craps about the war would’ve taken up the mantle and fought instead? Do you think if the Jedi were like “thanks, but we didn’t order this” that the Kamioans would’ve just let the Clones go free? 

The answer you’re looking for is...no. 

So, like absolutely everything about the Clone Wars the Jedi did the best they could with the cards they had been dealt. They chose to lead the army on the front lines, putting themselves in just as much mortal danger as the men they were leading. They even sent a member of the Jedi Council to oversee the creation of future clones/training to ensure they were being treated humanely (something the Kamioans thought was ridiculous). They were the first to tell the clones that they were individuals, they constantly put themselves in front of their men to protect them (i.e. season 7 Obi-Wan deflecting the rocket from blowing up his men). The Jedi did what they could, just because we didn’t see on screen Jedi stopping to grieve every time a clone died did not mean that they didn’t care - real life Generals can’t stop in the middle of a battle to grieve over their fallen soldiers either, so why is it we consider it a moral crime if the Jedi don’t?

Another thing I’ll add is once the Jedi had evidence that the Clones were actually ordered by Dooku, did they immediately stop and say “oh hell no, these flesh droids can’t be trusted, we should just have them decommissioned”?? NO! They defended the Clones, stating that they were good men and should be trusted (and look where that trust got them in the end).

The Jedi were forced/coerced to fight this war as much as the Clones were!! Why are we willing to forgive the Clones, but not the Jedi???

3. Ki-Adi-Mundi killing Geonosians was the same as Anakin’s slaughter at the Tusken camp: 

This is another moment where context is everything because there is a HUGE difference between Ki-Adi-Mundi on Geonosis and Anakin in the Tusken camp. The fact that I have to even spell it out makes me wonder how people can even dress themselves in the morning. 

The Geonosians were an opposing military force, attacking Ki-Adi and his troops. Anakin slaughtered unarmed women and children out of vengeance. 

Now, had Ki-Adi turned to his men and screamed “to the catacombs!” brandishing his lightsaber with a murderous glint in his eyes and proceeded to cut down the unarmed bugs below the battle then you’d have an accurate comparison on your hands and I’d be appalled right there with you.

But, as it stands this is not the same thing...not even close.

4. The Jedi sent children to war: 

So, this is a tougher one and I can even understand the concerns behind it, and I even share some of those concerns. The thing I will say to this is, given what we see throughout Star Wars, what constitutes a “child” seems to be different than our own real world definition. 

Padme, for example, was 14 when she was elected Queen, and she wasn’t even the youngest ever elected. She (and her handmaids) were trained as children to defend themselves and their people both politically and in battle (much like Jedi), but you don’t hear people condemning the people/traditions of Naboo the way we see the Jedi being condemned for theirs.

Jedi children arguably mature faster than your standard person, and with regards to Star Wars there are also species’ age ranges to keep in mind. Grogu for example is still a baby at age 50, could it be possible that Ahsoka at age 14 is on the same maturity level as a human in their early twenties due to her Togruta DNA?? We don’t know, it’s never stated other than Anakin saying something about because of her advanced skills he forgets how young she is. 

Obviously Boba Fett is treated like an adult by other Bounty Hunters - no one even questions when he picks up a job and is placed in charge of a group at age 12 or 13 (and he is placed in an adult prison without anyone questioning it). It could be that by law according to Star Wars that 13 is actually considered an adult. Throughout history (and in many different cultures) 13 was when people were considered to be “coming of age”, So, once again we’re placing our cultural biases onto a fictional space fantasy world without realizing it might not even be an issue in that world.  

But even beyond all of that I ask you again - what else should the Jedi have done? 

Their young Padawans would eventually have to grow into Jedi Knights, even before the war by the time they are teenagers they usually followed their Masters on missions (often very dangerous missions) in order to get real world experience. At the time of the Clone Wars the real world they were living in was one at war. If they hadn’t brought their Padawans onto the battlefield how else would they have learned how to strategize, or how to cope with the emotions of battle? They would’ve been ill prepared if the war had continued on for years and years as it had looked like it was going to do...once again, the Jedi had no real choice in this. 

5. The Jedi lost their way because of the war: 

Did they though?? I’d argue they actually didn’t. We first have to ask ourselves what is a Jedi - well, according to the very first time we hear any type of a description about a Jedi they are introduced as the “Guardians of Peace and Justice for the Republic” I don’t see how the war took that away from them. 

The Oxford definition of Guardian is a defender, protector, or keeper. I fail to see how the Jedi stopped being any of these things because of the war.

Here’s the bottom line, the Jedi’s biggest mistake was that they fell for a plot 1,000 years in the making. The Sith spent over a millenia perfecting/hatching this plan, there was nothing the Jedi could’ve done to prevent the war by the time the trap was sprung. As always, I’m not saying the Jedi were perfect (I hate that I have to always specify that when I argue that the Jedi were good), all I’m saying is they tried to do the most good that they could with the situation they fell into - few groups/characters can claim the same thing.

Everyone seems to forget that the Sith controlled BOTH SIDES to that war, there was nothing - absolutely NOTHING the Jedi could’ve done that would’ve changed or won that war. So, instead they saved as many innocent lives as they could and to me, that’s very Jedi. 

[marvels-writings]

maybe reader and yelena or nat getting in a fight and r trying to make it up to her by cooking her favorite food but sorta fails and y or n is like “did you make that” and r is like 😟

Fights

Fic Weeks Masterlist

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist

Word Count: 601

A/N: There’s wayy too many yelena requests in my inbox (not that im complaining) but i missed Nat

Scents and aromas from the dish in front of you wafted through the room. Soft music played in the background, the dim light from the drowning sun leaking into the kitchen. The smells from the stove didn't seem right, always too spicy or too bitter.

A final sigh left your lips before you switched the gas off, admitting to your failure. It had been a last attempt to lift Natasha's spirits after her fight with you. The memory of it still fresh in your mind as you began cleaning up the kitchen. It was over something trivial, a reckless move Natasha had made on a mission, but your worry escalated it into a fight.

You never meant for your worry to overpower her judgment, it was just, hard for you to not be concerned when she risked her life as if it meant nothing. You hated how little she cared for her own life, you hated how frequently she took missions to clear her ledger, to look at herself as something except for a monster.

Your words could only do so much, this time your words hurt her. Your accusations and your anger causing her to leave the room in a hurry, needing time for herself. You'd waited for her to come back for almost an hour before deciding to make something for her. It had been almost 3 hours since she'd been gone, your worry was beginning to come back to you.

"What's that?"

Jumping in surprise, you turned around to see Natasha curiously looking at the dish on the stove. She wasn't holding any of the anger from before, merely staring at what you'd made. A frown crossed her face as she examined it, reaching out to taste it, then thinking better of it.

"Beef stroganoff, I think." You answered, moving away meekly from the dish. The frown remained on her face as she looked it over, taking the spoon to taste it. You watched intently for her reaction, receiving nothing but a carefully blank look.

"Did you make that?" Natasha asked, disdain clear in her voice. She moved away from the dish, nose wrinkling at the taste. You nodded, your eyebrows furrowing as you looked towards your feet. The dish wasn't that good, you knew that, but hearing it from her made it worse.

"It was meant to be an apology dish." You commented, fidgeting with your fingers as you looked away from her. Your distracted gaze forced you to miss the regret crossing across her face before she walked towards you. Her hands slid into yours, looking at you apologetically.

"I should be the one making an apology dish." She murmured, regret filling her features. She blinked in surprise when you looked up at her incredulously. Both of you thought the blame of the fight was on yourselves, never wanting to blame the other for your flaws.

"I'm the one that-"

"I'm the one not used to having someone care for me as you do." Natasha cut you off, not wanting to hear why you blamed yourself. She'd had enough time to think of an apology on her walk, practicing it in any mirror she could find. She wasn't going to let you finish your reasons, not when she knew the fight was her fault, not when you'd already put in the effort to make it up to her.

Yet she found herself not needing an elaborate apology, you held her so close that she would never fear losing you again. She loved you too much to let you go, let alone let petty fights hurt you.

A/N: Tell me what you think!!

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[ha-hatdog]

little one / daisuke kambe

i definitely did not swoon while writing this. again, i did not know if you wanted hcs or one shot but i'll go with one shot. this is a good time to post this since the latest episode showed pics of smol daisuke omg. also, the name of your son is kakeru - yes, as in kakeru from run with the wind lmao

and to those who are saying i should add read more to my long fics, i really want to but i don't have a laptop or computer. i write everything on my phone, on the tumblr app. so if you know how to add read more in posts using the app, then please do dm me. thank chu💛

requested by anon: one where daisuke and reader have a two year old son together? lots of fluff

UNEDITED

__

Your palm concealed your amused lips, a snort emanating from your wrinkled nose as you took in the sight before you.

Kambe Daisuke was a man of little words and little expressions, and even now, after being married to you for four years and having a son who was now at the age of two, that has not changed. He was still the stoic and cool detective millionaire you have met many years ago - which is exactly what makes the unfolding scene before you much more hilarious.

Monotonous Daisuke, the same man you had seen take down criminals twice his size, was haphazardly sprawled on your carpeted ground, arms and legs outstretched, cheek pressed flat against the material of the carpet as a smaller and cuter carbon copy of him perched comfortably on his back, oblivious to the position he had set his father on, doing nothing but lie down on his father's back and sleep soundly, eyes closed, snoring and wearing such an adorable sleeping face that it was difficult not to coo.

The sight alone was already adorably hilarious, but seeing the genuine distress on Daisuke's face had you doubling over, your palm muffling your laughter.

"Look at you," You whispered at him by the doorframe, your knees bent and your other hand sliding along the frame of the door. "You look so dumb, Daisuke."

"I'm happy at least you find this amusing, but I do not." Your husband responded back in an ired puff, azure eyes glaring at you from the floor. It took all of you not to swoon.

"Don't look at me like that, my love. I can't take you seriously when our son is using you as a mattress." Daisuke's glare intensified, but as your previous statement suggested, all purpose of threat was dulled by the position he was in. "How did you even get yourself in this situation?"

"I find it unnecessary to tell you." Answered Daisuke, and from how his cheeks tinged red, you could only assume it was something embarassing. "Will you help me, love? Take Kakeru off of my back."

You shifted your gaze back to your slumbering son, and a fond smile sprouted on your brims.

Sometimes you wonder how you were even able to make this precious, big eyed, nuzzling baby. He was an exact copy of Daisuke, not a single hint of your genes. Blank face, quiet, raven hair, blue eyes, the little shine in his eyes whenever he saw you - it was like seeing Daisuke when he was a child, and it was because of this fact that you were at least feeling a little bit alright with your son having no semblance with you.

"Kakeru," You whispered to your son as you stepped closer to your best boys with quiet footfalls, and he scrunched his face ay the brief interruption of your cooing voice. You stopped yourself from squishing his cute little face, and knelt down beside them. "Kake -"

Your sentence was cut off when you felt a hand under your knee. Immediately, Daisuke retracted his hand away, hurling your way a soft glare. "Watch where your knee is going."

You chuckled at his dilemma and reached down to stroke his head. "Mattresses don't talk, Daisuke."

"Normal people don't talk to mattresses." Countered Daisuke, huffing and averting his gaze away from you. You stifled your laughter as his pout grew more prominent. It might be very obvious already with how Daisuke has everything handed over to him with a single breath, but your husband absolutely hated losing in any forms ; even in your daily banter, he must always have the last word. People often mistakenly thought that you, being his darling wife that he had persistently courted for a whole year, would be exempted to this childish pettiness you consistently deny her allegations, firmly believing you were receiving the worse end of it. This man cannot forget the times you have successfully reigned victory over his own game, months or weeks, it never failed to be permanently ingrained in his mind ; and this resulted to puzzling moments which goes by a chronological sequence - a relatively normal day, an opportunity to divulge the opening you have unknowingly presented before his feet, and then comes his last word, to which he will remind you as your confused face stared back at him when his out of the blue statement has originally birthed from.

However, there was only one person who could defeat him at that, would never let him get the last word and that is your son Kakeru. As you stared at his sleeping face, you cannot help but smile as you reminiscent that particular day.

***

Haru Kato has been invited to your house to meet Kambe Kakeru. Daisuke has been mildly cross with Haru meeting his son because he was petty and said that Kakeru needed no other man than him but seeing that Daisuke has become good friends with Haru in the two years they were partners, you insisted that he meets him. It was already unfair that Haru had to wait until Kakeru was two to meet him, the first and last time he saw him being after you had given birth (Daisuke only let him have a glimpse then pushed him out of the hospital room because he doesn't want Kakeru thinking he was his father).

"Kakeru," You chided as you crouched beside your son who was hiding behind Daisuke's legs and peering at the gray haired male, eyes curious yet cautious. "Don't you want to meet Uncle Haru?"

Haru stepped closer to the three of you, bent down near Kakeru's height, and outstretched his hand for him to shake. "Hey there, Kakeru." Haru greeted with a smile.

Kakeru recoiled and hid himself further behind Daisuke, hands around his pants tightening. "Daddy," He whimpered. "Bad man."

Haru's face fell at the enunciation, and you covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. Daisuke stared blankly at Haru as his hand travelled behind his back to stroke Kakeru's head. "You heard my son. Get out of here, bad man." Daisuke uttered his command.

A tick mark appeared on Haru's forehead at Daisuke's vocalization and before things could escalate out of the power of your responsibility, you interjected, regaiming your proper posture and clasping your hands together. "Kakeru is just wary of Haru because this is the first time he's seeing him, no need to fight." You told them off.

"No, Haru is just naturally scary." Daisuke stated with bantering finality.

"This is coming from a man who barely smiles." Argued Haru, scowling.

"And this is coming from someone who seems to be making a living screaming at me." Countered Daisuke.

Kakeru's eyes widened at what his father had said and shot Haru a small glare, yet his stance never wavered from its hiding place. "He screams at daddy . . . " Murmured Kakeru in a thoughtful trance, and pointed at Haru, shocking all three of you. "D-Don't scream at daddy again!"

Alarm made its way to Haru's facr at the accusation. "No, I have not once yelled at your dad - "

Daisuke turned around and knelt in front of Kakeru. Daisuke stared into his son's eyes and Kakeru stared back. "Don't listen to him, Kakeru. You should never listen to him, never ever. He makes daddy get all angry when we're doing police missions together."

"O-Oi," Haru inserted, fuming. "You're the one who always makes me mad! Don't turn the child on me!"

But Kakeru was not listening to Haru, as his beloved father has told him. Kakeru nodded firmly, lips curling. "Yes, daddy." He vouched in determination.

"Daisuke, stop it." You chastised, sighing and turned to the other detective that was not using your son to his advantage. "Sorry about this, Haru. Kakeru really looks up to Daisuke so he does anything he tells him to."

Kakeru, all of a sudden, began trotting away from the three of you, leaving all of you confused. After a few minutes, Kakeru returned, a determined look on his face.

"Kakeru, sweetheart, where did you go?" You asked as you approached him. "It's rude to leave our guest hanging, you know."

"Fight bad man," You and Haru gasped in horror when your son suddenly brandished a gun to Haru, not just a toy, but a real one. His tiny hands trembled as he was not used to the weight of the metal weapon burdening his grasp, and he was still glaring at Haru. "I pew pew bad guy, mommy, like daddy do with bad guys!"

"Kakeru, where did you get that gun?" You questioned, alarmed and and genuinely frightened. You looked to your husband to assess his reaction, but much to your mortification, Daisuke looked calm as he always is, as if your son wasn't capable of hurting a person as of the moment. "Daisuke, what the hell?"

You let out a yelp when Kakeru turned to you, and in the process, turned the gun to you. "Bad word, Mommy." He scolded. "I don't like."

Daisuke drawled. "It's not a big deal."

Haru growled. "Your son has a weapon! How are you not freaking out?" He then turned to Kakeru and extended his hand. "Give me the gun, Kakeru. Give it."

But Kakeru shook his head defiantly. "No!"

Daisuke frowned at his wife and his partner. "Why are you making a big fuss about this?" He questioned. "It's unloaded and the safety is on."

At the mention of those, you and Haru felt a brief sense of relief until Haru spoke out, "Just because it's unloaded doesn't mean it's okay!"

"It's basically a toy." Retorted Daisuke.

You walked towards your husband and pulled at his ear. His face did not at all change, seemingly expecting this reaction from you. "Daisuke, where did he even get the gun? Has one of yours been just lying around his reach?" This concerned you. If your son was able to get a weapon easily, what more is your husband letting him get?

"I gave him one." Answered Daisuke.

"And why would you give our two year old a gun?" You snapped at him.

"Kakeru said he wanted to hold a gun. Just like you, I said no." Daisuke glanced over at Kakery who was watching the three of you curiously. "However - " He turned back to you, and looked away. " - he's too adorable, as you might say."

You and Haru, in unison, slapped your hands to your forehead, exasperated with Daisuke's response.

"Kakeru probably looked sad when Daisuke said no." Haru remarked. "I can't blame him to be honest."

"He's spoiling him in ways too many." You added, and removed your hand from your forehead. "Daisuke, I know you love our son and pampering him but he can't just have a gun."

"Why, mommy?" You all looked at Kakeru, and immediately understood why Daisuke was forced to give him an unloaded gun. "Not love me?"

"A-Ah," You shrieked, horrified. "The secret move!"

Haru gulps. "This boy knows a little too much about his abilities."

"Even if it doesn't have any bullets?" Daisuked asked you.

You hurtled him a glower. "Even if it doesn't have any bullets and yes, even if it has the safety lock on." You immediately added when you saw Daisuke open his mouth.

Said man huffed. "Fine. If I knew you were going to react like this, I wouldn't have done it."

You and Haru watched as Daisuke knelt down in front of your son. Kakeru stared at his father, eyes wide and admiring. Daisuke lets out a sigh and extended his palm, "Give."

Kakeru shook his head vigorously, and his face scrunched as if he was going to cry but was trying to suppress it. "Daddy no love me too?"

You waited for what Daisuke would do, but he did not move. More seconds has passed, and he was yet to move. You and Haru exchanged glances before you moved over to him, checking him out. "Daisuke, love, what - Daisuke?"

A torn man was what Daisuke coukd be called at that moment. His face was deadpanned, but being with him longer than anyone else, you were able to pick up the small difference his expression held right now.

"U-Uh, Daisuke, are you okay?" You questioned in a form of a titter, eyebrows connected. "Daisuke?"

Haru walked over to Daisuke and leaned to look at him. "A-Ah, he looks like he's suffering."

"No, no," Denied Daisuke, frown deepening as he tried not to fall for his son's adorable trap. "Daddy loves you. But mommy and I agreed that you can't have that kind of toy, Kakeru."

"But," You all drew in a breath Kakeru hugged the gun to his chest, tears prodding the corners of his eyes. "My favorite toy is this."

"But why that, baby?" You asked softly. "You have so many other toys. Why that one?" You recalled the heaping amount of toys Daisuke bought for Kakeru.

Kakeru pouted, cheeks puffing. You couldn't help but imagine little Daisuke like that. "Because Daddy gave me this." Said Kakeru. "I want to be police, like daddy."

Daisuke turned to you, the internal struggle in his eyes prominent but you shook your head at him. Your husband sighed and looked at Kakeru again. He put his hand on top his head and ruffled his hair. Kakeru closed his eyes at the affection, welcoming it and his rigid frame loosening. Kakeru opened his eyes and let out a small noise of surprise as Daisuke wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

From what you can deduce, you knew Daisuke was about to say something brilliant to your son, to teach him something valuable. But before Daisuke could even open his mouth, Haru cut him off -

"A gun doesn't make a cop, Kakeru. It's the sense of justice to do the right thing and keeping people safe does." Haru then proceeded to take out his badge and handing it to Kakeru with a large smile on his face. "You can borrow this for a while, while I'm still here. As much as I want to give it to you, I need it to do my job as a cop. But maybe in the future, you can get one of your own. You'll be just like your dad."

You were impressed by what Haru had said, but Kakeru - his eyes were wide and glittering with admiration as he stared at Haru, all fear of the bad man gone. You swear that there was light all around Haru if you're ever seeing through Kakeru's eyes. But one member of the group disliked this mild change, and it was your irritated and pouting husband.

You covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. Daisuke was obviously feeling jealous of Haru now that his son was ignoring him - the emotion only worsening when Kakeru took the badge from Haru and dropped the gun on the ground and stared at the shiny object, whispering, "Uwahh,"

A cloud of dread hung over Daisuke and you patted his back in comfort. "There, there, Daisuke, he's just making a friend."

"But why with Haru?" Grumbled Daisuke, sulking. "And why is he looking at him like that? I should be the only one he's looking at like that. You too, I guess."

You let out a sigh. "You're really jealous when it comes to me and Kakeru."

Haru looked proud of the achievement and improvement he had made with Kakeru, his hands over his hips. "Looks pretty cool, right?"

Kakeru nodded enthusiastically, examining the badge thoroughly. "Very cool." He murmured, and then stared at Haru intently, lips pursing. "I wanna be like Mister Haru when I grow up!"

That was the first time you have seen Daisuke speechless and the last time Haru had seen Kakeru for six months. You were certain Daisuke did not speak to Haru for about two weeks, only communicating through nods and grunts, and Haru did not know whether to feel relieved or irritated at that. Maybe a little bit of both.

But, that was the only time Daisuke did not have the last word.

Kakeru certainly has Daisuke around his little finger.

***

You reached forward and shook Kakeru awake softly. "Kakeru," You chimed, and he scrunched his face again, not wanting to be disturbed sleeping on Daisuke's back. "Wake up, baby,"

Kakeru let out a small groan, and slowly opened his eyes. A familiar pair of blue hues greeted you, the same eyes that you wake up to every morning. Kakeru let out a big yawn and rubbed his left eye with his hand, groaning out, "Mommy," He then looked down at Daisuke who was craning his head to watch his son. "And Daddy."

You smiled at him and opened your arms, hands making grabby movements towards your two year old. "Come here, baby," You cooed sweetly.

Kakeru perked up and a glimmer crossed his eyes, the same glimmer when Daisuke had seen you for the first time. You could never forget that time, and you can never find it more beautiful than seeing that in your son's eyes whenever you offer him affection. Immediately, the two year old scrambled out of Daisuke's back - Daisuke grunted as his little feet padded on his back a few times as he struggled to get to your lap and arms - and sunk in your embrace. Your eyes grew gentler as Kakeru snuggled closer to your chest, cheek rubbing on your clothing and his hands clinging to the fabric.

"Are you tired, baby?" You questioned as you stroked the back of his head, finger running over his hair.

Kakeru nodded tiredly. "Daddy played cops and robbers with me."

"Let me guess, you were the cop and he was the robber?" You commented.

"Yes, and I captured Daddy many, many times." Answered Kakeru, proud with himself.

"Oh, is that so? That's amazing, baby. You're going to be a great cop like Daddy." You then turned over to Daisuke who was now recovering from being used as a bed. He dusted himself as he sat properly on the ground in front of you. "Is that why you were under him? Because you were arrested?"

Daisuke looked away. "I think I need to teach him how to properly apprehend a criminal."

You giggled. "When he's older, Daisuke."

He faced you with a sharp twist of his face, expression determined. "He won't grow older."

You frowned. "What?"

You and Daisuke looked down to see Kakeru fighting the need to sleep, his eyes opening and closing.

"I don't . . . " Daisuke trailed off, and a trace of embarassment scrawled on his face. You rarely see your husband embarassed and so you waited for him to continue. " . . . I don't want Kakeru to grow up."

You shook your head lightly, smile broadening. "Daisuke," You whispered, and when he did not look at you, you called him again. "Love, look at me."

He did so, and with one hand, you cradled his face. "I know how you feel. I understand where you're coming from. But - " You mused. " - don't you want to see our son grow up to be a fine man? To be the person he aspires to be? To be like you?"

Daisuke stares back at you, and took a gander at Kakeru who was beginning to fall asleep. He lets out a sigh and nodded in agreement, "I guess that would be pleasant to see."

"And he'll marry a great girl." You added.

"Marry mommy," Kakeru drawled. He was forcing himself to stay awake but his eyes was not cooperating with his spirits.

Daisuke scooted closer to both of you and brushed his knuckles on Kakeru's forehead. "Marry mommy? You're going to take mommy away from me?"

Kakeru shook his head. "Marry someone like mommy," One of his hand extended and took hold of Daisuke's shirt, the other still clinging to you. Kakeru looked up at both of you, still comfortable in your lap and chest. His eyes, again, were bright. "I want family like me, and mommy, and daddy."

Warmth swathed your chest, your heart melting. You took a gander to Daisuke and saw that the expression he wore - love, care, and the promise of sacrifice when it comes to it and when he looked at you, the emotions never faltered, and they only grew stronger. Sometimes you wonder just how much Daisuke loved you and Kakeru.

"A family like the three of us." Kakeru let go of your clothing and showed three fingers of his and quickly pressed the three digits together. "A happy family."

Kakeru fell asleep after his statement. His arm dropped and his head moved to one side, his eyes closed and lips parted.

"We should tuck him in." Daisuke declared.

"Yeah," You agreed and Daisuke helped you stand up, making sure you two aren't waking your sleeping son. You moved him to his bed, setting him down the mattress gently. Daisuke took the liberty of putting the blanket over Kakeru. Your child shifted in his spot, and cuddled to his pillow.

You sat on the bed beside Kakeru, observing your son. "Already tired when the morning has just barely started." You chuckled.

"He said he needed practice to be a cop, and I couldn't say no." Daisuke inserted.

"You can never say no to Kakeru anyways." You jested.

"Same with you." Daisuke knelt down beside the bed, arms resting on the mattress and his head level with his son's. He admired Kakeru, his deadpan expression gone and a small smile on his face. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Kakeru's cheek, lingering for a while before pulling away.

Daisuke faced you and you raised an eyebrow as he took your hand.

"You have given me a beautiful son. Thank you so much, my love."

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

Moment that hurt the most.

This moment: 

{Image: Iroh laying on his back after getting shot by Azula and Zuko kneeling down next to him with his wrists covering his eyes as he bows his head.}

(The Chase, Book 2)

Because the fact that Iroh is hurt by itself is hard enough, but it’s the context that makes it more heartbreaking.

Up until this point, we’ve seen how much of a positive influence Iroh is on Zuko. He’s been the only one there for Zuko at all times. He’s the one who’s protected Zuko and given him unconditional love. And Zuko’s been angry and difficult, we’ve seen that. And in most series where there’s a clear villain, you’d expect it to be framed like ‘Iroh is way too nice to Zuko, who is a huge asshole.’ But it isn’t. Instead, as we get the context of Zuko’s banishment and as we see how Iroh treats Zuko in season 1, Iroh and Zuko’s relationship becomes clear to us as full of unconditional love, but with barriers that make it difficult for them to communicate that love. Through the series, we see those barriers get knocked down. 

In the first episodes, we see Zuko yell at Iroh and generally act like a brat, but it’s also clear that Iroh is the one person that Zuko is comfortable around. Iroh’s the one person who vouches for Zuko and is genuinely rooting for this kid. But it’s clear that he’s not rooting for Zuko to capture the Avatar necessarily, instead, he’s rooting for Zuko to stop hating himself and to stop endangering his own life.

But the thing is, Zuko doesn’t know how to accept it. At all. He’s convinced himself that he doesn’t deserve Iroh’s unconditional love. Zuko was conditioned by his father to believe that in order to be loved, he had to be worthy. 

Zuko is consistently surprised whenever Iroh is proud of him or whenever Iroh shows up to protect him. In The Southern Air Temple, when Iroh protects Zuko from Zhao’s illegal hit after the Agni Kai ended and said “disgraceful, even in exile my nephew is more honorable than you”. Zuko’s still surprised that after Zhao did an objectively dishonorable thing after the match, Iroh openly chose Zuko’s side and stood up for him.

“Did you really mean that Uncle?” 

Zuko’s used to people pushing him away. He’s used to having to prove his worth. He’s used to there being a bar for him to have to reach and then when he finally does, the bar just gets moved up higher. Iroh doesn’t have a bar for Zuko. He doesn’t want Zuko to improve himself to meet a standard, rather, he wants Zuko to improve himself in order to be happy and to find self-realization. 

There’s the more obvious moment at the end of season 1 with the “ever since I lost my son, I think of you as my own”. 

“You don’t have to say it, Uncle” 

This scene has already been talked about before, but let’s look at it again. Iroh tells Zuko that he needs to be safe when he goes down to the water and says “ever since I lost my son... I think of you as my own.” This is the first time in the series it’s mentioned that Iroh had a son. That detail itself gives us more insight into Iroh’s motivations. We can look at his actions in the context of ‘he couldn’t protect Lu Ten, so he’s going to do everything in his power to keep Zuko safe’. But it’s also clear that Iroh doesn’t expect or want Zuko to be Lu Ten. It is clear, and it has been clear for the entirety of season one, that Iroh unconditionally loves Zuko. Iroh’s followed Zuko across the world, accepted him for his faults while still wanting him to improve, and is the only person we’ve seen show genuine affection for him. 

This scene confirms that unconditional love, but it also reveals that Zuko doesn’t know how to accept it. We already know that Zuko cares about Iroh (mainly from the episode where Zuko forgoes chasing Aang in favor of rescuing Iroh from the earthbenders, which is one of the first truly selfless acts we see Zuko do), but this scene reveals that the reason Zuko pushes away from Iroh isn’t that he doesn’t want his Uncle’s love, but because Zuko thinks he doesn’t deserve it. Zuko says “you don’t have to say it” because he thinks that it’s something that’s harder for Iroh to say rather than something hard for him to hear. Iroh believes it. He loves Zuko and wants him to be safe, but Zuko doesn’t think Iroh has a reason to and can’t wrap his head around it. So he bows as a sign of respect and tells Iroh that they’ll meet again “after [he] finds the Avatar” because Zuko’s convinced that in order to earn love, he has to prove himself. Finding the Avatar is the task he was dealt to earn love, so he focuses on that when met with affection. Iroh hugs him and Zuko just doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t think he’s earned it. 

In season 2, the first episode dives a little deeper into this block that Zuko has. When Azula lies to them about Ozai wanting Zuko back, Iroh is able to look at the situation objectively whereas Zuko can only focus on the ‘my father doesn’t think I’m worthless after all’ smoke and mirrors. Iroh sees the situation for what it is: Ozai was needlessly cruel to Zuko and if Zuko returns, that’s what he’s going to be met with. For season 1, Iroh went along with Zuko on his Avatar hunt to make sure he didn’t make stupid, life-threatening decisions and to emotionally support him, but capturing the Avatar was never Iroh’s goal. He didn’t want Zuko to return to the father that scarred him and banished him for not wanting to fight. 

So when Zuko is going to take Azula’s offer to return home, Iroh’s protective instincts kick in, but he has to be explicit about it. He has to say the hard truth in order to keep his kid safe.  

“Father’s realized how important family is to him. He cares about me.” 

“I care about you! I mean, if Ozai wants you back, well, I think it might not be for the reasons you imagine.” 

Iroh all but explicitly says “Zuko, Ozai mistreated you and doesn’t care about you. If you return, he’s going to hurt you.” But he has to say it, because after three years Zuko still doesn’t want to believe it and is now making a decision that could endanger his life. 

And Zuko still rejects this. He lashes out and insults Iroh, accusing him of being jealous of his more successful younger brother. Zuko tells Iroh “you don’t know what my father thinks of me. You don’t know anything.” He’s still holding onto the notion that Ozai’s ‘love’ is something he can win, one way or another. Iroh is the one to recognize the fault in that logic and all he can do it be by Zuko’s side to protect him when shit goes down (which it does). 

When the fact that Ozai doesn’t care about Zuko becomes harder to ignore after Zuko finds out that Azula was going to take them as prisoners and his “father considers [him] a miserable failure”, he’s still not ready to accept unconditional love. That fact becomes clear in The Swamp and Avatar Day. 

“Do you like your new tea set?” 

The scene where Zuko gets mad about begging escalates when Iroh is publically humiliated in order to get them a gold piece. Zuko can’t firebend and the man’s dual swords are taunting him. Those are his weapons and he’s helpless to do anything for Iroh in this situation. Iroh dances as the man swipes knives at his feet and all Zuko can do is watch. What he was raised on was the mentality that he had to prove his parental figures his worth. Zuko was convinced that Iroh providing for him wasn’t how it should be and hates the situation. So he overcompensates: he goes on a crime spree and doesn’t just steal food, he steals gold in order to buy Iroh a fancy tea set. 

Iroh tells Zuko that he doesn’t need things to be happy and Zuko gets stuck. He doesn't see a clear way to prove his worth to Iroh anymore and he still doesn’t know how to just accept love without working for it. So he leaves. Zuko decides that “they no longer have anything to gain by traveling together” not because he doesn’t want to be with his Uncle, but because Zuko no longer sees how he is useful to Iroh. Zuko would rather be alone than be a burden, emotionally or otherwise. 

And in The Chase, we find out that Iroh has been following Zuko this whole time. Iroh knows that Zuko needs space to figure himself out, but is always going to be there to keep him physically safe. 

Despite the fact that he left Iroh, despite everything, Iroh was still there. Zuko didn’t really have time to grasp this fact, but Iroh showing up when he got knocked out showed Zuko that yes, this love is unconditional. Iroh’s just going to be there for him and that’s that. Zuko isn’t past the ‘love must be earned’ mentality, but this gesture means so much to him after he felt alone and directionless for weeks. 

Then Iroh gets shot by Azula as he’s standing right next to Zuko. 

And what’s going through Zuko’s head right now is something along these lines:

He knows his Uncle was there to protect him even when Zuko left 

He’s convinced himself that he’s been a burden on his Uncle, just like his dad treated him as 

He didn’t have time to thank Iroh for being there anyway 

Iroh got hit because he followed Zuko and acted as his protector

Zuko wasn’t able to protect Iroh 

So now this person, the one person who was there for him and who always believed in him despite everything is hurt and for all he knows, might not survive, is on the ground and unconscious because Zuko couldn’t protect his Uncle the way his Uncle protected him. And Zuko regrets everything at this moment. He regrets the fact that he left. He regrets not taking Iroh’s advice. He regrets not being a more skilled firebending. He regrets not being able to give back what Iroh gave him in terms of protection. 

And he’s convinced that he’s failed his Uncle. He looks at this situation and is terrified that Iroh won’t be okay, but he’s also convinced that it was his fault. Zuko thinks that because Iroh decided to side with him from the beginning, his life has been ruined. If Iroh had stayed in the Fire Nation instead of gone with Zuko on his banishment, Iroh wouldn't have spent years at sea, he wouldn’t have been branded a traitor, he wouldn’t be on the run, he wouldn’t have had to beg for coins on the street, and he wouldn’t have been shot in the chest by Azula. 

Zuko can’t wrap his head around why Iroh decided to go with him. After all, he’s the banished and disgraceful ex-prince. He’s scarred and untalented and he spends years desperately trying to prove that he’s worth something. Zuko’s been conditioned to think that in order to be worth anyone’s time or affection, he has to prove himself. He has to be useful. And to be the reason Iroh is hurt (which he isn’t but that’s what he thinks is the case), that just means he has to prove himself further. 

And for the rest of the season, he doesn’t leave Iroh’s side. He knows what it feels like to almost lose his Uncle and can’t risk that again. He takes Iroh’s advice and goes with him to Ba Sing Se. He takes care of Iroh when he’s unconscious, makes him tea, patiently learns lighting redirection (there’s a clear difference in how Zuko listens to Iroh as a teacher from the first episode of season 1 to Bitter Work), guards Iroh from the Rough Rhinos, and tries his best to stay quiet serving tea. 

This moment in The Chase is such a pivotal moment for Zuko. For the first half of the series, Iroh has been the parental figure Zuko needed and deserved, but Zuko didn’t understand that. In the moment where he almost loses Iroh, something clicks. Zuko starts to understand what was missing before. He starts to accept that this relationship is something he needs in his life. Zuko realizes that Iroh has been there and he’s going to keep being there and that’s something he isn’t ready to lose. There’s so much shame in the idea that Iroh would be hurt for him and he spends the rest of the season trying to make it up. 

And we know that it ends up not being enough to break Zuko away from wanting Ozai’s approval, but this moment reveals just how fractured Zuko’s self-image is, just how much he needs Iroh, and just how much he feels he doesn’t deserve unconditional love. This moment is pure vulnerability as the one person who stuck by Zuko’s side through injury and banishment is hurt. 

Zuko is convinced that it’s his fault and if Iroh hadn’t decided to be by his side, this wouldn’t have happened.