#i hate that i still think of nick
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#was in the middle of writing#and then checked facebook and saw that a friend just had her baby#this was the friend that texted both of my best friends to ask what happened with me and nick instead of just asking me personally if I was#okay and I texted her and called her out and i posted the screenshots here if anyone of you remember#but yeah#i feel like crying#it feels like everyone around me is getting their happily ever after and I'm just...not#like I should have a baby right now#i hate that i still think of nick#I hate that i still miss nick#like bitch get over it already!!!#but I feel like I'm never going to meet someone#unless I pay for a match.com profile#but then that feels too serious#like thats so much pressure#im stuck in such a weird place
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Agartha!Sonic ref!!! this took way longer than it should’ve!! + some doods
Feral little boy! Well, kinda. He still behaves like a typical Sonic; cocky and arrogant, loving and kind; but now his confidence often falters, he’s less sure of himself overall, and it far easier for his temper to get out of control. He still knows how to be civil, but tends to forget to be on occassion. While before it was natural of him, now it’s more like walking in high heels. Due to the events that transpired, he sadly forgets he’s even a person sometimes. Thankfully he’s in a safe place now, and his friends are helping him overcome this.
You can change the gloves and shoes I don’t like em that much...
Story:
The first post in the Agartha AU tag talks about the circumstances of his childhood, but this story continues. Agartha Labs has made a comeback, kidnapped him, and activated some of the mods they left in him long ago, hence why his fur darkened and his energy levels went out of wack. He’s handling those, well, okay, but it’s his mind that suffered the most. Not only did he have to even remember his childhood, but live through it again. Being an adult didn’t help at all. He was still treated like an animal, abused and hurt. Just hurt so much, because all resistence was met with pain.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#sonic au#my art#agartha au#you may be thinking how did they menage to kidnap him!#well u see they chipped him and the chip has a built in taser so#not much he couldve done to resist that#thats also how theyd punish him for misbehavior later and as a kid#or theyd kick him etc. whatevers more convienient#his fullbody is naked bc i drew it first bc i didnt feel like designing the clothes#cuz i didnt know what to go with#and frankly i still kinda hate it its not how my brain pictured this stuff gghhhghg#anyway give my boy some love simply bc this is like#the best ive ever drawn a mobian tbh#except the face#completely forgot he was suppoused to have a nick after an ear tag <3
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love nick and i’m happy he’s getting all these opportunities but it’s so exhausting seeing how easy hollywood is to navigate for him after a breakout role vs how it is for his poc co star. all while nick fans on twitter are saying wild racist shit, some fans off both are deciding blatant racism and people being unkind to nick are basically the same thing and “both sides should stop”. it feels so unfair
I understand the feeling and the frustration, god knows how much it hurts me when I see that hate but there's really nothing we can do about it, right?
and talking about the roles... we just have to be patient, I know his moment will come.
#before you come at me with your usual hate#I love nick#he's so talented and he deserves to work#BUT when you follow both of them i think it's normal being frustrated when we saw how difficult is for one and how easy is for the other#I'm not saying one is better than the other or deserve more#but still it sucks how hollywood works#and yeah the continuing racism and hate is getting exhausting#ask me anything
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me asf with nick davis
#no because when i bring up the fact bree and nick were still together when bree started making out with sel im WRONG#what the hell is with that?#okay maybe she's 'young and dumb' but she definitely knows cheating is wrong. she KNOWS. so why are we ignoring it??#clearly if it'd been nick who cheated (he would never) the entire fandom would be on his ass#but when bree's making out with sel in a forest of fireflies it gets ignored#then again this is just my opinion its fine if you think differently#nick davis#selwyn kane#the legendborn cycle#oathbound#tracy deonn#bloodmarked#brianna matthews#bree matthews#legendborn#and also bree and nick are canonically together. literally. canonically dating.#i love bree i love nick i dont feel much for sel but i dont hate him so this is NOT me going after bree#my friends being in a polyamorous relationship means every person in that relationship has consented and is aware of the other#nick has NOT consented to bree making out with him and sel from what im aware of. he is only aware of selwyn having a crush on bree#so that my friends is CHEATING!!!#friendly reminder: i am not anti bree or sel#im only anti glorified cheating trope.
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▪️if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.
#i'm finnally happy with this specific era of baby nick i think he may have started t already maybe been on for a couple of months he's havin#fun with acne again he is dying inside but happy#he's like 19 here and still lives at home he's in school trying to do something#stefans dragging him to the autoshop with him to work and he's slowly coming to the conclusion he hates this#he liked it better when he was younger and was just goofing around with his dad but now he gotta work like what#plus he gotta hide that he smokes sdfghjk#he's been smoking since he was 14 he wanted a deeper voice okay!#stefan is aware and his just disappointed like child no#on the note of t! its lowkey filling stefan with so much joy cause nick looks so much like him he's proud for some weird reason like look a#mini me. all of his work freinds are geeked for em and its an adjustment because they new him so long but they poke fun at him and treat em#the rookie he is#on the record though nicks great with cars just its boring#Spotify#ts4#simblr#sims 4#nicolas ishida#my sims
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another throwback
matching icons for you and your squad
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndads odyssey#dungeons and daddies odyssey#musicverse#nick close#terry junior#grant wilson#lark oak#sparrow oak#i still think nick came out best#and i still want to redesign terry#but i don't hate them completely
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it is always so wild to me when cis people try to get me to shit talk non binary identities with them just because I present to them as a binary trans guy bc I will always defend them and whatever those fuckers have deemed as the "weird identity" this time. nothing about me gives off the vibe that a) i would ever feel the need to grift for cis approval and b)that I would ever give cis people the opportunity to talk badly about non binary people with a transgender pat on the back from me, just because they didn't follow the exact same path as I did. its stupid as hell and I sympathize with any non binary person that has the misfortune of crossing their path
#BECAUSE for example someone in my school will just come up to me unprompted and just#enquire about a hypothetical pronoun or identity and like ask my opinion#which is SO WEIRD TO ME#i always just say “oh i have a friend who uses those” if i catch the vibe theyre trying to talk shit#bc i am not a safe space for people who think they can randomly hate on a different kind of trans person with me and confrontational as hell#they usually dont go past that initial question bc ive been told im more than a little intimidating#and yet they still ask. BONKERS#i also used to identify with a myriad of non binary identities before i settled into something more comfortable for me#which isnt even fully male!! but im not about to explain the nuances of my gender with people who can barely grasp gnc people#i was extremely irritated today thinking about these stupid ass people and their fake ass allyship because it ALWAYS only goes so far#theres only a certain level of queerness you can express and if you go over that threshold youre FUCKED#i need to go full on confrontation next time and ask why they think id be okay with it bc i am not quiet when i think something is wrong#anyways rant over#nobody cares nick#transphobia
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a petty pet peeve of mine is when artists redesign sirenix to be super cunty and lingerie-like cause like yes canon sirenix is boring but also the entire point of it is that it's the Curse of sirenix and it's supposed to be easy for them to physically Fight and swim in. so many of the redesigners want the cunty pretty mermaid look and i Get it but also please pay attention to mermaidix!! the look you want is there!! it's canon!!
and like no hate to the artists who do this, the redesigns are always super pretty. it just bugs me when people redesign something without considering why it looks the way it does in the first place. enchantix is literally proof that they can design pretty, elegant, and cunty transformations. it's not that they can't - it's that sirenix just wasn't supposed to be like that. and it's okay if people want it to be like that, but it's a Little annoying when people ignore the purpose and lore of sirenix so the redesign ends up being cunty swimwear with no other intention And ignore mermaidix the literal canon transformation that Is what people want sirenix to be.
#very petty pet peeve ahdlfj#and again the redesigns are beautiful! i love the aesthetic and the cuntiness!#but what you want is mermaidix#just look at mermaidix!!!#they have different purposes and aesthetics for a reason!!#canon sirenix is Not my favorite and i think it could look a lot better than it does#but its just annoying to me when people ignore the actual intention and purpose of it#its not supposed to be cunty swimwear! it was supposed to be creepy and dark!!#it only changed because nick sucks and they hate fun#so we got the stupid wetsuits#but still!! its a fighting transformation!!#redesigning harmonix to be cunty swimwear would make more sense than sirenix#sorry but ill always pick redesigns for purpose over redesigns for aesthetics ahdlf#redesign sirenix to look cursed ancient and dangerous >>> redesign sirenix to put the winx in lingerie#also even more petty but so many people have done this its actually more boring to me than canon sirenix ahflfj#predictable! boring! lack of purpose! just draw the girls in lingerie you dont need to use sirenix as an excuse !!
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holy shit for the first time in ten years i forgot nicks birthday
#and ironically it was my friends video talking about march that clued me in#like fuck march passed and i didn't even notice it.... feels weird. very. weird.#jrnlsht#yikes he turned 40 this year#oh that makes me feel old lmao that makes me feel so old#i thought i had everything figured out when i was 25...of the two of us i was the one with the stable job that i loved#making art all day... and then staying up till 4am making art with nick#and like sadly literally not euphemistically#although those after hours set painting sessions did include some making out#he was such a mess back then#now we've swapped im the mess and he's the one with the stable job he loves#funny how life works out#i remember his 30th vividly his sister bought him this ridiculous bunch of balloons#which of course he hated#and he was forcing a smile cause he was trying to play nice and act like his life wasnt a total mess#and i just sat there giggling at him in his sisters kitchen with the balloons cause i could tell he was faking it#anyway it was fine i made it up to him with a much better present later that evening when we were alone :P#i dont think either of us ever imagined being this old#i certainly didnt#i remember the last time i touched his face a few years ago#it was the first time i realized that - oh- i could love wrinkles#bald with lines around his smile... it was still his face :)#but forgetting is a good thing#sometimes i need to let memories go and move on
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just watched 21 jump street and looked up the cast bc thats what i do when i watch movies and found out that there was a tv show also named 21 jump street that the movie was a kinda sorta but not really sequel to the show and that the random cameo with johnny depp at the end was in fact not a random famous comedic actor cameo at all bc he was like the main character in the original tv show and that led me down a weird rabbit hole (incoming pun not intended) and learned about the other cops in that show one of them being Judy Hoffs which if youre like me ur former disney brain immediately connected that to Judy Hopps from zootopia and looked it up to see if it was intentional and apparently the name (and job) similarities were not supposed to be a reference on the zootopia team's part and its "just a play on how rabbits jump" and they were "unaware of the 21 jump street character when naming judy" which i think is some pretty big bullshit because theres no way a character who's first name is Judy and last name is hopps (spelled with two P's the way hoFFs is spelled) and just so happens to also be a young and brand new cop is just a crazy random coincidence
#no paragraph breaks bc this is how my brain works when im in lore deepdive mode#no ones gonna read this but whatever#anyway i didnt think id like 21 jump street the movie bc i usually hate 2010s R- comedy movies#and like anything jonah hill is in HAHA#but i figured ive gone long enough not knowing its references and also i felt like doing a channing tatum binge#bUt i actually giggled at a few jokes i hate to say#most of them were on channings part hes pretty funny. cant stand jonah hill tho sorry not sorry#also they look nothing alike but the amount of times i mix up tom hardy and channing tatum in my head is fucking crazy#anyway#kats movie rants#also i'll bring this up in everything thats relevant but i fucking love Zootopia ive seen it so many times#ive read and watched so many concept videos of the movie in preproduction and making ofs and docu's of that movie omfg#also yes i love nick wilde no not like that hes just silly goofy okay i just love suave sarcastic (fox) characters i swear#every time i remember how the movie plot was supposed to go (shock collars) another little piece of me dies inside because#goddamn its such a good and heartwrenching concept and i still wanna see it on the big screen SO BAD#especially all the test animations and storyboards they already did for that plot line OUGH IT LOOKED SO GOOD#and the fact that the supposed building that nick owned in the concept can be seen (delapadated) in the bkrd of the movie in a scene too BR#god i cant stop talking about it now oh god i unleashed my own beast i need to stop im stopping okay goodnight#yeah so if u cant tell i really love zootopia HAHA
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I STARTED PLAYING BG3, HI
#don't worry I'm still in my ace attorney phase#just now imagine them in dnd campaign#also this meme was specifically targeted for my friends on dsc server hence the 'phoemix wrimght' nick name#don't think too much of it skkfkdkslfk#bg3#I won't tag ace attorney but it is a smidge#bg3 tav#also#maybe I'll post sketches of my tav#cuz i love them like unconventionally#but they're so dumb#and why is everyone hating Gale#he's just a poor little meow meow#and Astarion is a bitch#and a poor little meow meow#Astarion girlies should live in peace with Gale girlies that's what I had to said
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im so jealous of cis guys. being able to grow up how they want and being confident in themselves and just. im so fuckin jealous. it is so hard. SO hard. to feel comfortable with someone else in a relationship when im not comfortable with myself. i hate it.
#i know this is stupid#im supposed to be proud of being trans and love myself no matter what and be proud of my identity but#fuck man sometimes id just give anything to be cis#like this shit sucks#i dont wanna fuckin do this anymore im tired of it#'nick ur only 18' YEAH I KNOW AND ITS STILL BAD#god im pissed off#i just. i hate that i cant be proud of who i am bc im not someone else.#im losing my mind i think#i wish i was cis so fuckin bad u guys. i wanna have the experiences of growing up as a boy that i missed out on.#i wish i couldve went to school dances in a suit and not had to worry about being stared at#i wish i could dress how i wanted and present myself how i feel comfortable without hearing those goddamn whispers behind my back#im sick and fuckin tired of it#anyway <3 im done <3 im gonna go watch youtube and pretend like i dont exist <3#vent#dysphoria mention
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i'm interested in your gatsby vampire au please tell me everything?
coulsnt help answering this onw before bed HDBDJBDj in my tag for it (The Great Batsby) i have another ask with the genera geist, but heres some miscellanious stuff about the au!!
i dont have concrete designs for em yet, but Wolfsheim and many of his fellow gangsters are also supernatural creatures! werewolves vampires and other such things. they were just Waiting to see if Jay was too dhvddjhd
Im going to be going with dark haired Daisy, bc as much as i like blonde Daisy designs, i want to use the book desceiptions as accurately as possible while still having my own spin on things! blonde Jordan throws me super hard but im adjusting to it hfvdjdh
hmm, that else.... i have a pinterest board with sections for each major character and Tom's has exactly Two pins: a picturw of an ominous bay at night, and a photo of a suitcase. take from that what you will.
#really its that i dont want to draw him. jdvdjsvs#i will eventually but still#OH qnd i gotta design nick's finnish housekeeper as well. i like her i think shes a funny idea for a character#aaand settings too UGh i hate drawing backgrounds sm#tgg#the great gatsby#the great batsby
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what if i was forced to face some of my worst fears while locked in battle with someone i despise, someone who knows me on a level unlike any other and yet uses that knowledge for their own gain, and while i'm knocked down and about to be killed while doubting my own worth and the worth of my life i think of you, i think of the words of hope you gave me about how dying is not the answer to life's problems and i have something to look forward to, something to protect, and in thinking of you give you access to my body and my soul, allowing you to essentially possess me and use my body to defeat someone i was incapable of fighting on my own, while i take a back seat and actually rest for the first time in my life, and you defeat them while within my soul and thus free me from the mental prison they'd forced me into. and we were both boys.
#AND KDJ /STILL/ THINKS YJH HATES HIM. OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!!!!#WHY WOULD HE BE THINKING OF YOU SO FONDLY IN A MOMENT HE WAS SURE WOULD KILL HIM!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!#anyways. can you guys tell im going fucking feral over this webtoon. can you tell.#if i could put kdj and yjh in separate jars and study them like lab rats i would because what the fuck. what the fuck.#the inherent love and trust that comes with 'i do not want you to die and yet if it comes to pass i will be the one to land the killing blow#THEY MAKE ME CRAZY#nick reads omni view
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You Guys have no idea how painful it is to be a Kellogg fan, every day I see people talking about him and physically restrain myself from bursting in to correct misreads in his character.
#Awled Ren Rambles#Conrad Kellogg#The only thing stopping me from making a meta post is the fact I don't have the screenshots I'd need for it#And my laptop doesn't have space for FOIV on it#Yes thats the roman numeral for 4 I don't want my random rant about my unpopular blorbo in the main tags#Look the guy hates himself#He hates the institute#And he wouldn't want to hurt Sol through Nick if he had still stuck around because he views his death as a good thing#He's Meant to be a parallel to Sole#And probably Nick as well#And he's also *just as used as the synths are*#Please I'm begging y'all#Think about him as a person for just 2 minutes
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just looked at the d20 ao3 tag for the first time since fhsy was coming out and i was curious so i sorted by kudos and. why is the first page of fics almost entirely riz/fabian. guys. huh.
#nick knacks#not gonna maintag out of respect but huh?????? guys please#lets all sit together and have a chat about what we think about aromantic people#because. yeah there's nuance when it comes to the discussion of aro ppl being in relationships#this is a fictional character who in the text does not want a relationship and has been comfimed aroace#why are we still seriously shipping them. guys. guys come back lets talk about how to respect an aro character#and no hate to those people im just. i would love to know how you feel about other confirmed aromantic characters#or why you guys specifically care more about two men being in a relationship over the canon aromantic-ness of one of those men#anyways. who said that.#vent#<- i guess mostly just so ppl who have that blocked dont have to see this lmao
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