#i hate seeing ‘hes too gay to function :3’ like

[gonetoforks]

Introducing; Yuichi Usagi-Cuddles!

There’s a slight typo in his basic character bio, (first, grey image) other than “yuich,” his family in America lives in the part of the hidden city under Jersey. He lives in Jersey. He’s a Jersian. So in terms of leosagi, it’s gonna be an enemies-to-lovers comedy-of-errors muahahahaha!!

More (a LOT more) info about him as his own guy under the cutoff :D ⬇️

Basically; He’s a silly guy! I feel like his kinda buffoonish, embarrassing personality in canon is simultaneously PERFECT for Rise’s writing style & grievously underrated in fanon depictions. So he’s this clownish type of character, haha.

Okay, time to go hyperfixation mode.

Adhd & his stubborn attitude;

He has ADHD! Executive function issues makes it hard for him to start tasks & manage himself, so he relies on his teams (the Mad Dogs when he’s training & the Rise equivalent to his canon friend group on his own time) to not only instruct him, but also hold him accountable & keep him on task. He’s body-doubling without even realizing it.

Although, he resents the things he does to accommodate his disability. He doesn’t notice that doing the things he does genuinely helps or why so he thinks he’s using them as a crutch because of incompetence. Every time he gets stubborn and ignores the things he needs to do, he crashes and burns. When he was new in town with no teacher & no friends who liked martial arts, he became a huge sad sack until the kraang invasion.

His character arc is about being able to rely on other people & accommodations. That relying on a bit more help than other people doesn’t make you incompetent, choosing to seek out the support you need so you can do your best is the true mature thing to do. I was inspired by canon Yuichi’s struggles with paying attention and Rise’s themes of cooperation. (& also my own experience with adhd and learning with executive function issues & junk)

Relationships w/ the turtles;

The Mad Dogs agree to let him like, intern with them? So he can see what it’s like to be a vigilante, they offer him advice and they occasionally go on low to mid-tier missions with his help. They take him on cause they think more heroes and allies out there, the less work they have to do haha. Also, one of the writers mentioned a season 3 would have them adjusting to being ~official heroes,~ I think this would be them trying to be “real.”

He’s closest friends with Mikey out of the whole group! (Adhd solidarity) Then it goes Donnie -> Raph -> and finally Leo (for now muahaha)

I tried to give Leosagi an interesting dynamic with constructing his character like this; They have similar insecurities from drawing self-worth from technical capabilities that they can develop past together, but Leo is clever and calculating about it vs Yuichi being rash and impulsive. So like smart x stupid but they’re the same actually.

His Family in Jersey;

He speaks english fluently because he’s visited his American family frequently his whole life, they’re very close. He has an accent though since he mainly speaks Japanese.

I haven’t fleshed out this concept enough, but I think members of his jersey/Cuddles half of the family would be spoofs of characters from the original yojimbo comics, implied to be reincarnations? Except Miyamoto ofc. (i’ll explain later..)

Reusing the ninja orphans plotline from the original show, his family utilizes their cute appearances to run an orphanage too. They wonder why this Chizu lady is constantly showing up with unhoused children, but they’re just grateful they’re safe now.

Everyone in his family HATES Mrs. Cuddles, they all think she’s in prison and are happy about it. She might’ve given him that scratch on his face.

Additional;

He is gay.

Thank you for your time.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Reading Kid Devil as Trans

@swamp-spirit gave me the broad outline of a trans Eddie reading and I ran with it into oblivion :3 also hi @batbaffle tagging you cause I remember you being excited about this

I'd like to start off with a little bit of scaffolding for how this reading is going to function

Firstly I posit that the way the Blue Devil comic series treats the role of Demon/Superhero is very easy to read as analogous to a trans experience, to the point that if you choose to interpret 'Demon/Superhero' as a gender, then Eddie is straight up trans!

Secondly I posit that because many transphobes view being trans as a kind of demonic infection, Eddie's character arc in Teen Titans volume 3 has accidentally replicated a transphobic view of what being trans is like.

So, this reading is necessarily hostile to the narrative of TTv3, but I need to be clear that I'm not asserting that that narrative is transphobic! The audience choosing to join the war on demonic pacts on the side of the demonic pacts is not something it would make sense to expect the authors to anticipate! Don't go giving out hate mail for this one.

This essay is going to be utterly enormous, so without further ado, I hope you enjoy reading it under the cut!

Point One: Demon as a Gender

We're going all the way back for this one to Blue Devil #1 for this one! Now, as we go through this comic what we're going to do is mentally replace "Devil Suit" with "Drag King Makeup" and replace "Demon" with "Trans Man" or just "Trans Person".

The Blue Devil suit drag King outfit is a costume designed for Daniel Cassidy's role as an action movie villain

Yet, despite it being just a prop, it makes Dan (feel confident and) powerful

(also note that the suit broadens the shoulders and that Dan is beardless with longer hair underneath the mask)

Then a real Demon Trans Person wanders in and recognizes Dan as being a sibling! And is confused as to why Dan is fighting them.

(also note how similar Nebiros' general shape is to that of a xenomorph, the trans-ist of all alien monster things)

This is honestly pretty weird considering that usually demons powerful enough to have a name and 'cosmic' powers also have the capacity to sense whether someone is supernatural or not, and nothing about the suit being simple special effects tips Nebiros off.

It stops being weird when you swap demon from a species to a gender though. That's just Nebiros assuming that Dan happens to be pre-op/pre-HRT

Then, without any intention of doing so, the demon trans person turns Dan's demonic nature trans nature into reality. By pure recognition the act stops being an act, his egg is cracked, and Dan is forced to face what he really is now

Dan is not pleased about this. He's still thinking of himself as a human with an affliction. It's not world ending or anything, but it's still... an issue. A concern. The adults around him vow to support him through this trouble. Even when he accepts that the suit being attached is permanent, he resists becoming a superhero at every turn and insists that he's still normal.

Eddie though? Well he just saw a guy get force masc-ed and it blew his tiny little mind with how friggin COOL it was!!!

(Kid sees a guy who looks like Satan's gay clubbing cousin and thinks "this is absolutely what a superhero looks like!" and he's so right for that honestly)

In fact Eddie's SO on board with this shit that he goes on to make his own Devil suit start dressing like a boy too (following pages are Blue Devil #15 onwards) like this comic doesn't even have much to do with secret identities and yet this is still so much of an accidental outting

(sorry quick tangent here: Boy Wonder as a source of anxiety when Jason Todd wound up being the only 'Boy Wonder' that Kid Devil ever got to team with prior to TTv3 is making blorbo brain go brr)

Dan is frightened by the idea of a kid jumping into the world of danger that these suits being trans presents, but he and his aunt are ultimately supportive and through the power of queer family they save the day together

And the people around Eddie, especially his parents, are worried that all this Hero and hollywood stuff is not the right lifestyle for a growing kid in a way that echoes the idea of the queer, bohemian lifestyle corrupting the poor innocent youth

But the comic repeatedly asserts that the suits are who they are now for both Eddie and Dan. Not only is returning to normal not an option, it wouldn't be a good outcome either!

Now, y'all are reading this shit on tumblr. We're all sitting around the bonfire together here at this Devil's Sacrament, so you're probably already aware of this, but I do gotta make mention of the fact that Demon is already a gender for some people. The xenogender crowd have had this shit on lock for years now, and combined with everything else, I feel confident in simply accepting Demon as a gender for the rest of this analysis!

From hereon out this essay shall take it as literal truth that Eddie's gender is Demon, his role as Kid Devil is a form of social transition, and his character arc in Teen Titans volume 3 is mainly concerned with his medical-magical transition and the fallout from that.

(sorry, one more tangent: I actually think there might be a stronger reading of Danny as intersex. The involuntary nature of the change honestly fits a lot more closely with an intersex person finding out that their body is hard wired to do something very different with their gender than they expected. There's also a scene I didn't talk about here of when Danny first goes out in public that reminds me less of being viewed as a binary trans person and more of the times when I used to walk around town with my DDDDD cup tits in a pushup bra and a beard. He becomes a fascination and a spectacle in a way that very much mirrors my experience of presenting signifiers of both genders at the same time as blatantly as possible, which is obviously not how all intersex people express their gender, but like the way intersex people make headlines, the way intersex people are viewed as 'combinations' or 'deviations' - it all feels more like Danny getting mobbed by curious onlookers than it does my day to day of being visibly trans. Idk there's potential here, but ultimately this essay is about Eddie first and foremost.)

Point Two: They Want Him to Walk Out of Hell.

It's time to meet the demonic pact that we shall be fighting for!

To make a long story (TTv3 #42) short, Eddie is given a spooky candle behind a church, and then goes to Zackary Zatanna in order to try and figure out what it is and what it does. Zack tells him it's basically a teleportation spell and asserts that if Eddie uses it, he could definitely teleport them right back, no problems. Eddie then immediately finds out that Zack lied to him and they're both stuck in LITERAL HELL until further notice.

The demon who made the candle and gave it to him is Neron, who is a quintessential example of the deal-maker-soul-taker archetype of demon and was essentially understood to be The Devil Himself in the Underworld Unleashed comics. He is unsurprisingly here to make a deal for Eddie's soul (or, well actually no, he's not here for his soul. Strictly speaking, he's only asking Eddie to become his apprentice once he hits 20, which I find to be an intriguing distinction, even though the narrative basically treats the ideas as interchangable.)

Now this deal is pretty clearly bad news (Neron's deals always go sour and becoming his apprentice is heavily implied to mean coming under his control too)... but lets step back a bit shall we? What exactly is Eddie's other option here? What is Zack suggesting they do as the voice of reason in this scenario?

He is suggesting... that they WALK OUT OF HELL.

I cannot get over the sheer mad audacity of fuckin-

just-

just WALK out of the actual literal bowels of Hell itself completely unprepared

like WHAT??? No. That is completely unreasonable.

...When you tell a certain variety of religious transphobe about how gender affirming care drastically reduces suicide rates and very clearly improves quality of life, they aren't swayed. To them, gender affirming care is inherently damaging in ways that are much more important than temporary bodily pleasure - and more important than any amount of pain a trans person could possibly go through in life. There is no possible justification to them for perverting your flesh away from God's plan/"what nature intended". To transition is to give yourself over to the Devil in their minds.

They will insist - despite the enormous amount of logic and evidence to the contrary - that if you just keep walking the straight and narrow path long enough, you will find a way to be happy while destroying/repressing your true self, and you will surface back into the daylight, and you will be normal, and human, and whole, and holy.

When you tell them that to not transition would be agony, they will demand that you walk out of Hell.

Satan, on the other hand, says He can remake you in your own glorious genderqueer image, and the only risk is that your family might betray you for it.

Eddie accepts Satan's bargain and is granted absolute, brilliant, gleaming euphoria

And his family betrays him.

Now, take strong note of the fact that both of them are burning in this Church, because this brings us to-

Point Three: He's Not Even Really a Demon... Except When It Would Hurt Him to Really be a Demon.

A major plot point is that his powers aren't actually demonic at all; Neron only activated a dormant meta-gene.

So why the fuck does he burn when entering a church, and why are multiple people capable of sucking the demonic power out of him?! To include an Exorcism fully working as intended! Like it's extremely weird and notable that as far as I can tell, Kid Crusader's exorcism legitimately would have worked.

Essentially, any time it would hurt Eddie to be a marginally enhanced human, that's what he is; any time it would hurt Eddie to be a demonic being, that's what he is.

To the narrative there is no contradiction. His refusal to remain a normal human, the contract itself, is the sin that corrupts his humanity and the nature of that sin is to never have his desires truly granted because Neron cannot preform miracles as God can - or even if he was capable of it, he won't. Because he's evil.

This is almost word for word the religious justification for the double standards around gender. So as far as transphobia is concerned, a trans person's refusal to remain a normal human, the act of transition itself, is the sin that corrupts our humanity and the nature of that sin is to never have our desires truly granted because according to them surgery and HRT cannot contradict or supersede nature, or even if it could, we would never be truly satisfied because to contradict the proper nature of things is evil. Thus the butch lesbian is never a real woman because she isn't acting right, and yet the trans woman who does all the right actions is never granted status as a real woman either.

Point Four: What's So Bad About Being A Demon Anyways?

TTv3 frames Eddie's desire to have superpowers and to be a demon as bad in a variety of ways. However, it never seems to make a good argument for why it is so morally wrong for him to want and receive superpowers. Like, sure, maybe being indebted to a demon isn't healthy, but the narrative treats it as a sin, as Eddie having committed an immoral act which requires repentance or at least absolution.

I refuse to consider the goal of becoming a superhero and saving people to be blackhearted, so the only good argument I can see for this is that Eddie willfully risked other people's safety by accepting a gamble that could put him under Neron's control.

Here's the thing though

This is the point at which I look the narrative in the eye and say "I think you're a lyin lil bitch!" and choose to take a character at their word above and against the rest of the evidence that the text itself presents to us.

Future Eddie from a timeline where he turns 20 and does in fact go with Neron says he's doin good and that leaning into and embracing the demonic power is nice actually and I am gonna believe him on this!

Again, this isn't really the narrative's fault, it was not originally designed for this, but combined with the rest of the analysis, this strongly reminds me of the way that trans people are taught to essentially fear our older selves. Like there's this sense that we're going to get worse and go too far and become one of those unreasonable queers who's always miserable.

It's gonna be bad! It's gonna be so so bad! You'll lose all your morals as you're inducted into the cult of gender!! Actual proof of harm? Who needs that shit! We all know that gender non-conformity might seem innocent at first, but it's a slippery slope!

So ya know what? I just don't give a shit! Oh the narrative says he's evil? M'kay well have you considered that I don't vibe with that?

I cannot even fucking count how often I've seen characters only be allowed to increase their queerness when they become villains, and become less queer when they learn a moral lesson. I cannot COUNT the number of times that a character has had to rip out everything that made them relatable to me in order to fit the mold of normality at the end of the story as some kind of """"feel good wholesome life lesson""""" ending. I cannot c o u n t the number of times I have seen queerness attached to or equated with monstrosity and for the narrative to demand that both be excised for the good of everyone.

Like idk how ubiquitous this is, but the sense that getting what I want is supposed to be evil and that anyone who would give it to me is also evil is so familiar that it instinctively makes me want to scream.

So for the purposes of this essay, when I see that Eddie gets to be MORE demonic in this timeline and keep all his friends and has a mentor who encourages him to embrace his inner demon? I am going to throw every scrap of evidence that this is the 'bad timeline' out of the fucking window willy nilly because fuck that, good for you Eddie, I hope you get even demon-y-er!!

Point Five: He Just Be Actin Real Fuckin Queer Okay?

The cigarette kisses - just- just LOOK at this!

Look at this shit!!!

A wise person once said that sometimes the sexual tension between gay men and lesbians is thick enough to cut with a knife, and baby every panel of them doing this shit is a FAT slice of that gay squared pie!!! I cannot express how jealous I am of this, like hot fuckin damn, I have zzzzerooooo physical attraction to women, but if I had Eddie's powers I would sit at the lesbian bar and kiss the butchs' cigars lit all fuckin night

Suddenly long hair. Tons of trans guys grow their hair out or paint their nails et.c. once they transition. It's a hell of a lot easier to be comfortable with your own gender non conformity in the fem direction once you no longer feel like fem presentation is a threat to your own identity.

He never wears a shirt if he thinks he can get away with going bare chested. You best believe that after I get top surgery the shirts are comin OFF and they are not coming back on unless I receive multiple threats of getting escorted off of the premises lmao It speaks to a beautiful newfound comfort in his own skin.

The Dysphoria/Closet Hoodie. He has an outfit to disguise the shape of his body so that he can avoid harassment and weird looks and it does not even work.

Big Mood my guy.

The trident to tail - packer to bottom growth/surgery connection

The trident is a mechanical, artificial phallic object that acts as a symbol of Demonic power. It is also a rocket that he rides by sticking it between his legs. Eddie also stops using it after his medical-magical transition, at which point he can use his own body for transport. I trust you can pick up what I'm putting down here.

Point Six: The Cruelty of His Arc's Conclusion

This is how Eddie's soul is saved. His demongender is violently ripped from him by an extremely misogynistic cult leader and the source of his transformation is destroyed while he's unconscious.

Being freed from the looming doom seems to have lesser or equal emotional weight to the distress at having been forcibly de-transitioned. When presented with a nearly identical scenario to the first soul bargain, he has to be bodily dragged away from signing a second contract.

When given the choice freely, Eddie clearly finds being a demon to be worth just about anything and everything.

It's also super worth noting that this parallels the way informed consent is sometimes viewed. Like, bodily autonomy seen purely as the freedom to make the wrong decision. What good is an honest Devil when the price is still the damnation of your immortal soul?

So, now he's a human again for the rest of his life. What, pray tell, is this character arc suppose to have been about?

Wellllll... He starts off as impulsive, reckless, kind, loyal, loving, bad at fighting, and willing to risk selling his soul to be a real demon. At the end of this character arc he is impulsive, reckless, kind, loyal, loving, bad at fighting, and willing to outright sell his soul without even a glimmer of hope of any other outcome in order to be a real demon again. The only change is that he's been forced back into his assigned gender of human and he has given up on ever being a Hero. He just hangs around being a friend to the heroes around him. Like the whole arc seems to boil down to Eddie learning that he was never cut out to be a Hero and he shouldn't have tried.

That's his "good ending". That's his happy ever after.

Okay, look, I know I said "don't send hate mail about this" but that was specifically about the trans thing and actually Volume 3 of Teen Titans is weirdly cruel to Eddie, and I do kinda want to fist fight someone about it??? Like, why the hell did they make nearly all of his plot roles revolve around him getting his ass kicked SO BADLY that the entire teen titans team is sabotaged by his ineptitude.

I've read a fair few issues with this guy in em now, and the ONLY fights I've seen him win are 1) When he teamed up with Jason and 2) When he teamed up with Jamie Reyes. That's it. Verses THRICE joining a fight and ruining it so badly that the villain(s) win within three panels. He goes to a Dennys to be sad in his depression hoodie and gets beat down by like twelve guys. He is constantly getting nothing but the short ends of sticks and then guys keep thwacking him with those sticks.

It's not even a punchline, or fodder for a training montage, or a vehicle for a 'you don't need to fight in order to be a hero and do good' message, like there's no purpose or enjoyment to be had, he's just a barbie doll getting whacked against the kitchen counter until its head comes off

My Worst Treated Characters list now reads as follows:

Stephanie Brown in almost everything

Eddie Bloomberg in TT v.3

Jamie Reyes in Injustice 2

Jason Todd in general

Genuinely like, who's grandma got killed by a Kid Devil figurine?!

Anyways Eddie Bloomberg did nothing wrong and deserves no criticism and to re-transition as soon as possible with an even cooler and much more powerful demon form that is actually properly demonic and lets him do everything he wants forever!

[turntechgaykid]

Reacting to NARUTO:

Love Haku an Zabuza

I love Naruto being the shortest on team 7

Ino an Sakura give ex girlfriend vibes (Sakura had a crush on Ino but when she found out Ino had a crush on Sasuke she felt rejected and embarrassed so said she had a crush on him too)

Sasuke and Naruto are in love (Naruto fell in love when Sasuke protected him from Haku & Sasuke fell in love when Naruto protected him from/fought Gaara)

Team 10 & 8 are fighting to be my favorite (Hinata is chubby + short headcanon)

I don't like Guy sensei or anyone on his team

Shikamaru's Dad is a functioning alcoholic??

I hate Pervy sage, I hope he dies

I love the Gaara - Naruto parallels

Love the parallel of Neji an Naruto being branded (I think the letter Hinata's Dad gave Neji was a fuckin lie)

I don't know how to feel about Kankuro & Temari

Naruto's frog wallet is the best thing EVER

Gaara's story makes my heart hurt

Gaara in his first fight with Sasuke says "you're weaker then I am" rather than "you're weaker then me" which is very meaningful to me as "you're weaker then I am" implies that Gaara sees himself as weak too instead of "you're weaker then me" which would've implied Gaara is strong/average an Sasuke is weak

Sasuke running to save Naruto from itachi>>>>

I hate Pervy sage more an more with each episode

Naruto wanting parental/familial connection and trying to cover it up when he's sad is tearing me apart

Tsunade is the best of all the sannin

Shizune an Tonton are such sweethearts

Sakura's speech before Sasuke left was obnoxious and her saying she'd go WITH HIM????

Does Choji have a thing for Shikamaru?? Does Shikamaru have a thing for Choji?????

Choji is a sweetheart 😭

Why is Shikamaru lowkey misogynistic

I like Temari an Gaara A LOT

I don't really like any of the sound ninja

HAKU KNOWS KIMIMARO???

HAKU RETURN

WHY ARE NARUTO AND SASUKE BREAKING UP

SASUKE KILLED NARUTO

NARUTO IS BACK

Giant hand Sasuke is grossss

Sasuke turned evil an put on lipstick

Mizuki & Iruka are ex's

Gaara definitely has a crush on Naruto

Thoughts on each team:

Team 7:

Naruto - Asian, Bi vibes

Sasuke - Japanese, Gay/MLM

Sakura - Singaporean, Lesbian, Comp Het.

Team 10: (stoner vibes)

Shikamaru - Sri Lankan, Gay/MLM (no way he likes women with the way he talks about them)

Ino - Wasian, Bi vibes (I like her better than Sakura)

Choji - Mongolian, Pansexual

Team 8: (the emo squad)

Hinata - Hyugas read as Hmong to me, Omnisexual

Kiba (+akamaru) - Cambodian, Straight ally

Shino - Chinese, Unlabeled

Team Guy/3:

Tenten - Korean, Unlabeled

Neji - Hmong, Gay/MLM

Rock lee - Chinese, Unlabeled

Sand Siblings:

Gaara - Egyptian, Unlabeled

Kankuro - Egyptian, Bi?

Temari - Egyptian, Queer?

Current Favorites: Shikamaru, Hinata, Haku, Gaara

[call-me-chips]

Okay so I have Ten thousand of them

IzuOcha

BakuCamie [Me and my friend ship them]

ToyoTsu

TodoIida

KiriBaku

MonoShino

Okay les go

Also I think I'm gonna start rating them from 1/10

Izuocha: 4/10

Ima be real I don't like this one. I see Ochako's love for Deku much more as admiration and respect. Cuz like, just about whenever she talks about Deku, she's admiring his work and saying she wants to be like him

Bakucamie: 0/10

I hate this one. Very much dislike. Nearly despise. First of all, he's gay (my headcanon that I'm dying by), and secondly, WHEN IN THE SAME ROOM AS BOTH SHOUTO AND BAKUGOU, SHE SAID THAT SHOUTO WAS CUTE. She didn't even consider Bakugou. She barely looked at him. I just really cannot see it at all

Tokotsuyu: 3/10

This one is alright, but there's not a ton to back it up. Ik they worked one or two missions together, but there wasn't much chemistry between the two. I used to ship it just cuz it was cute, but I don't ship it now (I also headcanon her as a lesbian, so that doesn't help xD)

Todoiida: 8/10

I've already answered this one, but I very much like it :)

Kiribaku: 10/10

Love this one. They're just so right for each other. And there is so much to back it up. Like how, in Kiri's profile, he has a list of things that he likes, which on it, there's "Tough guys". And who is he always calling tough and manly?? BAKUGOU. There are several other points to back up this ship, but I don't want this to be too long

Monoshin: 7/10

This one is nice, and could definitely work based on the scenes we're given. I just have a hard time imagining them together for some reason. I think it's cuz I ship Shinkami, but idk. They do def seem like they could be a functional couple tho, and a level-headed person is something that Monoma needs xD

[mustafa-244]

Switch with Uncle Mitch Pt 1.

Hey everyone, I haven't really written anything in a while so let me know if you enjoyed this one and I might be motivated to finish a part 2 or even part 3.

I was hanging out at my family reunion this summer when a unique opportunity presented itself to me. I was staying with my parents for the summer while on break from college. I wasn't particularly looking forward to the get together as it was an excuse for all of my relatives to get drunk while I was going to be stuck as the babysitter. It was rough because I was old enough to be the adult in charge but not old enough to legally drink yet.

My Uncle Mitch had other plans for my weekend though. He was my dad's older brother, owned his own company, amd I admired him because as a gay man myself, it was nice to see that he was able to find love with his husband Gary. It gave me hope that one day, I'd have a partner of my own too. Little did I know at the time that I'd be part of that marriage before too long.

While everyone was mingling, my uncle Mitch pulled me aside and offered to let me have a bit of his beer since he knew I got the short end of the stick here. He had finished most of his beer and I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to drink while underage. While I was still 19, my parents weren't the type to bend the rules even at a family function.

I happily accepted and quickly drank what was left. When I looked back at Uncle Mitch to thank him, the weirdest thing happened. I was looking down at myself. When I started to speak, I noticed my Uncle's voice come out of my mouth. I quickly reached up and felt a beard--my Uncle's beard on my, or his, well I guess its my face now.

My Uncle explained that he hated these reunions and thought that I might enjoy being a real adult for the weekend, enjoying his cigars, drinking, and being treated like a man of stature. He had found an expensive potion online that promised to swap the bodies of any two people who drank it and made eye contact. Mitch wanted to go have a weekend of fun in a youthful body, so he figured that at worst he'd have slipped his nephew a drink or two of beer at a safe family event, but at best he'd have a weekend as a hot, young adult.

I looked down at my new self, and felt my cock get hard in Mitch's suit pants. With Mitch's blessing to take over his role this weekend, I was excited at the idea of being Gary's husband and what I could get up to.

While my 'nephew' wandered off, I noticed the vial of potion he spoke about in my new suit pocket. Considering how much I've admired Mitch's life, I might decide not to swap back at the end of the weekend. We'll have to see how much fun I have.

[froot-batty]

for asks… pls I need to know more about your Ozzie. Like. Anything

( also hi! You’re so nice btw ! )

i've been trying my DARNDEST to go as fast as possible to finish his ref just for this ask but unfortunately i just don't have the time tonight. HOWEVER, i can give you the wip, and some more fun facts....

(i'd give you his whole backstory, but i don't have it typed up/fully fleshed out yet :[)

((also thank you !! you're very nice too <3))

i got about as far as frantically lining ozzie. whoopsie

i'm gonna be honest, i don't have a toonnn written down about oz just yet. so i'm just gonna be going off the ref for the time being

-as i said SOMEWHERE, ed was the one to design and build oz's trick umbrella (gunbrella) and his trick cane. not only does it have the obvious twist-and-pull knife at the top, but it's also meant to look deceptively delicate and fancy. in reality, the actual stick part of the cane is HEAVY, and can easily crack skulls if need be

-relating to that, oz is actually like wickedly strong. his fancy clothes, pretty face, and missing leg trick people into underestimating him, but he is fuckin BUILT. his favorite party trick is having people bet on whether or not he can win an arm wrestling contest with the biggest, most muscled-up person in the room, and then collecting all the cash when he breaks the other guy's hand

-the pocket watch is a gift from jervis! jervis' nickname for him is the duchess, which oz absolutely hates. why does he have to be the rude, ugly one with a pig-baby?

-oz's messed up eye is from getting attacked with acid. it makes what he'd later to do harvey ironic

-that plague/masquerade/gas mask up in the corner is a gift from jon! because he's an ass, jon gifted him it after ozzie getting fear-toxin'd, specifically made to look similar to jon's. oz hates it, and wouldn't wear it, but he's more afraid of getting gassed than he is petty

-the gunbrella is based off of this insane combination of a gun and an unbrella hanging on the wall of a very weird couple who gave house tours. while i don't think it's real life inspiration was functional, this one IS. the cloth part (i don't know the name) is bulletproof and semi-see-through, so oz can hide safely behind the canopy while shooting. ed was paid handsomely for it

-he's gay and trans, along with having intermittent explosive disorder. my freak old man

[papakhan]

Character Ask Game: 2, 6, 10, and 29 for Boone. Go on, be a hater. Unleash it. 👀

oh my god i think i reblogged that meme back in January and only just saw these I'm Soooo sorry :'( I will do them now as well while I'm here. Also thank you so much for enabling me to be a little hater <3

Character Asks

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you’ve sent me a character I don’t like)

I mixture of 2 things made me into a true Boone hater. No.1 is When I first played New Vegas I thought the Khans were kinda wack, not really evil but I didn't really like them either. Then I got the line from Jack about Papa being "a softie at heart" and it immediately made me rethink them. And me being more sympathetic towards them made me question the rest of their treatment at the hands of other characters in the game, one of whom being Boone. No.2 was seeing how wack his fans were about defending his actions and how much they will make shit up about him to justify his actions. Like idk I saw fem!courier number 8784589 loving stroking Boone's arm and tearfully say "its soo sad you were forced to kill those raider children but don't worry I forgive you" and I just snapped ig

6. My least favorite ship of them

I hate Manny/Boone with a firey passion for real there is a special place in my heart dedicated to hating that ship. I just hate everything about it, Manny's conflict with Carla is interesting enough just stemming him being from a poor family in North Vegas and her being from a more well-off family from the Strip, you don't need to add romance to it to make it more ~spicy~. At no point does he even allude towards being in love with Boone, he's just pissed off because he hates his besties wife. I hated my bestie's boyfriend and it wasn't because I was in love with her it was because her boyfriend was a prick. And I feel like there's a lot of people really into it who don't really seem to notice the connotations they're cooking up. Like seriously can we not have the canonically gay brown/latino man be the spiteful jealous ex-lover who is trying to steal the poor innocent white soldierboy away from his loving wife guys cmon do these people not know how bad this makes them look. I'm gripping these people by the shoulders and shaking them very hard. Anyway I hate it so much let my OC fuck Manny instead <3

10. Describe the character in one sentence

A boot-licking war criminal who learnt nothing and who gets too much credit.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren’t?)

Awful. Not only is he emotionally constipated but he's also former military, basically a marine, so I think he'd just order his kids around and be like :/ when they don't do what he says. And that's me being nice about it, I've had plenty of ex military men scream in my face as a child for crying, I don't think he'd be that bad but he wouldn't be good. Maybe it's hot take but I don't think it is considering he shot his own wife and also countless Khan children so I don't think it's too much of a stretch to think he doesn't take any special considerations when handling kids. He'd expect them to function as NCR recruits or would just ignore them <3

[tk-duveraun]

18/? Luo Binghe is SO NORMAL about Shen Yuan

7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 (here), 19

Read up through even numbered parts on Ao3

Factorio expansion dropped

The System refused Luo Binghe's many requests that this section be skipped in favor of a montage. He thought his argument that he was already an adult in a younger body had a lot merit, actually, but they agreed to disagree.

However, one concession the System allowed was adding background music. It wasn't his favorite rock hits from his first life, but it was better than nothing. The System didn't give it for free, either. He'd had to escape a harrowing gauntlet of both monsters and sexy demons wanting his dick to unlock it. The reasoning was that he had to prove his situational awareness in his newly unlocked demon form was acute enough to justify suddenly hearing boss music.

If he was reading about this in an isekai novel, it would have been hilarious. As it was, he was dirty and miserable and regularly jump scared into full wakefulness by blaring horns.

Defeating creatures and avoiding pa-pa-plots awarded plenty of S-points. but aside from serving as a health pool to keep him from getting sent back to his dead body, there wasn't anything he could do with the points. And he had a few complaints to take up with the System.

Why were there so many sexy demon ladies trying to fuck him? Hello, he's in a danmei, can't he get a twink? Or at least an otter?

[Answering User: All available people with marker 'gay male' are destined to be in love with the Protagonist. In order for this world to be a functioning ecosystem, people with the marker 'straight female' must be proactive in order to continue their respective peoples.]

Okay, that made sense. Luo Binghe was, technically speaking, bisexual, but he was taken!

[User is not currently engaged in a relationship, monogamous or otherwise.]

Luo Binghe's eyelid twitched. He found a legally distinct charmander to kill to shut the System up.

As much as Luo Binghe hated being away from Shen Yuan, since the System refused to speed up time, he was happier leveling up his combat skills and killing monsters than he would have been pining away waiting to be seen as a proper adult. And the combat was beefing him up considerably. His demonic features, thicker stature and more would all be needed for Shen Yuan to see him without remembering Luo Baixiao's horrible seduction attempt.

Meng Mo even deigned to begin teaching Luo Binghe the art of dream manipulation. Again, Luo Binghe had to reevaluate how literal the Original Goods being Shen Yuan's nightmares was. Why was Luo Baixiao's story so complicated if he was just an antagonist?

Luo Binghe strongly doubted Snowballing planned all of this, regardless of what the System seemed to think. Luo Baixiao seemed to be part of the greater Linguang-jun arc and, if Meng Mo's information was accurate, that should have ended with Linguang-jun's death by his own hand, so why was Luo Baixiao still fucking around causing problems?

Revenge? For what? Being rejected as a literal infant?

Okay, maybe Luo Binghe had too much time in the Abyss to overthink things, even when fighting for his life, but was still probably better than wasting away like a maiden in a tower for his beloved to come back from the war (seeing him as child).

[New Main Scenario Quest: "Cut My Heart Out My Chest" Objective: Claim Xin Mo.]

Luo Binghe almost collapsed in relief, which would have been bad, considering he was fighting an Eight-eyed Fusion Tiger.

When the beast was dead and its eyes (there were only six) stored in a preservation pot to trade later, Luo Binghe queried the System.

How long have I been in the Endless Abyss?

[Answering User: Logged duration of quest "Pledges of Frost and Flame": 3 years, 117 days, 3 hours, 14-]

I get the idea, thanks.

Three years after the Immortal Alliance Conference, Luo Baixiao's body should be twenty, old enough to be guaned. Luo Binghe narrowed his eyes at the System, which blinked innocently, waiting for another query. Did this thing trap him in the Abyss just long enough to reach his goal?

He did get points for not banging the hot demon ladies, so maybe it was on his side? In a twisted way.

With the end in sight, Luo Binghe picked up his pace. He was in a canyon with glittering green rock formations that looked like trees but grew crystals on any surface they touched like those kits sold to little kids with supersaturated solutions. He only remembered them because he'd wanted one, but they'd been too poor to afford one. He'd then looked them up online to try and find out if he could make them at home.

The Fusion Tiger was one of the few creatures more-or-less immune to the crystal growths, given that it already was part crystal (the two missing eyes from the name were formations on its brow). Luo Binghe himself had to keep a thick layer of demonic qi cover his feet at all times to keep the stuff at bay.

If the System was giving him the quest for Xin Mo at that point, the sword was certainly in the gaping, black maw waiting ominously at the end of the canyon. The cave opening was made of the same crystal, but shot through with veins of black ichor that spread out like mold.

The corrupt aura from the cave certainly felt unpleasant enough to match Shen Yuan's descriptions of Xin Mo from IRS. He'd had a terrified fascination with the blade, which made sense now that Luo Binghe knew Shen Yuan believed it the only weapon capable of setting him from.

Without looking, Luo Binghe used his sword to knock away a reaching tendril of crystal. He really hoped Shen Yuan still had Zheng Yang. Both because he missed it and because he liked to imagine Shen Yuan sleeping next to the blade and guiltily pleasuring himself to thoughts of Luo Binghe.

Once they were married, Luo Binghe would make that a reality even if he had to recreate Zheng Yang from ore himself.

"Don't worry, Shen Yuan. I'm almost there. And then I'll kill Linguang-jun and set you free."

[nightswithkookmin]

I might be generalizing but a difference between Jikookers and Taekookers is many of the latter can't really look beyond their OTP.

I was recently asked how I would react as a Jikook supporter if Tk turned out to be "real".

I said I would support them. The Tker was taken aback. But why be so shocked?

I don't think Tk is a thing but... but if I am wrong and they hypothetically come out as a couple, as a fully -functional adult, LGBTQ rights supporter and ARMY I would support. Anything else is unimaginable.

In fact I would support if they come out with any partner unless ofc they are underage or something

Any fan theories or conjectures about dynamics are not important than the boys happiness.

You are better than me I would have thrown rocks at OP🙂

If Tae koo- quick punch to their throat now their gagging and choking on their own blood

I can't even assume hypothetically that that ever be the case because that would require a level of madness I can't bring myself master.

I'm sorry I don't have it in me.

That wouldn't make me delulu. No no no no. FULL BLOWN INSANE IS WHAT I WOULD BE TO THINK LIKE THAT. CRAZY. NUTS. CROSS EYED OUT OF MIND INSANE.

Several problems with that hypothetical situation-

1. To support that I would have to reconcile all the nasty things Jikook have done with eachother out here onto my sanity and then proceed to gaslight myself into believing it was all nothing.

2. Then thinking it was all nothing, I now have to glare at Tuktuk with this wild and uncomfortable secret at the back of my mind knowing very well every time Tae is away Jungkook would be up in them rooms clapping JM's cheeks

Naa I really would have to hate Tae to support that for him. I would.

He deserves better than his alleged boyfriend and soulmate frolicking around in the sheets behind his back. Jikook would be a true primetime villian if that was the case.

3. To support his alleged romantic relationship with Jungkook, I would have to constantly drag Jimin and rant and cuss him out whenever he does something fishy with Jungkook cos he ain't about to disrespect his best friend's relationship on my watch...

But it would be a cold day in hell before I do that 🙂

4. I don't subscribe to this whole menage a trios kumbaya polygamy relationship people think is going on with them.

If Tuktuk were real jikook wouldn't do the things they've done in front of Tae. It would have been disrespectful and morally indefensible on both parts. Especially for Jungkook to sneak into Jimins room at dawn when he is bored. Yall don't think that is problematic if Tuktuk is real?

I know tuktukkers don't have no respect for Jimin and Jungkook but have some respect for Tae💀

A modicum of respect. A pinch. A dot. A grain of respect and I promise you they wouldn't be saying shit like these.

When he tells yall to get out of your imagination this is what he means.

Every single moment we celebrate of Jikook blows a hole into that ship it sinks right down to the bed floors of the sea.

And by support what do they mean? Celebrate them?

Absolutely, we all gon celebrate them send them the generic congrats message on Twitter and twerk a little bit out here cos GAY. But support????????

Support in this economy? As a PJM/ THV/JKK stan????????????

They don't lost their minds.

Listen, I can't even bring myself to support Tae Jennie what about me makes them think I would be able to support Tae and Jungkook BE REAL😫

I would like to see Vmin kiss one day, bring all that tension into a climax but I would not be on the front lines carrying their plaques if they decide to come out to say they are a couple too.

Why? IS JUNGKOOK A JOKE TO YALL??

After everything Jk has done for Jimin it would be wicked on my part as a JKK to throw my weight behind VMIN if ever they decide to date eachother too. Just plain wicked.

My love for JK wouldn't allow me to do that. My love for JM wouldn't allow me to and my love for Tae wouldn't allow me at all. I would feel so miserable, my conscience would bother me to death.

It's that simple.

Tae deserves better. Jk deserves better. Jimin deserves better. And let's have some respect for them damn.

When you break it all down and ask yourself in what ways you are going to support their alleged romance, that's when this whole shit starts to Crack.

But of course I see what you mean and I understand where you are coming from. Love is love and if you made a mistake in assuming Jikook were the couple when they weren't then the right thing to do would be to fix it and support those who truly deserve to be supported 💜

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Hai.

How do you measure your top and bottoms? I will likely greatly regret asking.

oh HIIII @diamonddung~<3<3<3!

why yes. yes you will<3 i never did get that answer on fiona's nick valentine % <3 tho you may need to amend billy's % lmao<3<3<3

as a bonafide too queer to function lunatic and multishipper who *hates* catty supremacist false dichotomy fandom bullshit because of all the unnecessary problems it causes (you know me, lmao, bit of another psa in here i guess given multiship tags and yes, i am still upset about the thing with the artist)? ya know i'm a little out there and not quite with the 'in' crowd of the chunk of cis het women who take party~ in the shipping world~<3 no shade, but it does tend to change one's perspective. i do feel there's lots of shipping discourse that may miss the mark/certain character elements in favor of...

well, normally just plain ol' over-sexualization from some horny ass people lfmao, (homie's scene with doppelhomie is a good example, the trauma presented on his face was ignored in favor of the selfcest fantasy, but in antony starr's words, homie wasn't interested, he was traumatized :((() but also unfortunately... echhh i gotta say it!

hetero-normalizing gay ships and then treating the kink presentation like a goddamn religion... the amount of times i have those 'are the straights okay???' moments are just...

LMAO, all in good fun of course<3 let's not kink shame.

it's fine to have different kinks and discourse, disagreements over how you view characters or what you like, even be enthusiastic with your own views and shout them out to the heavens~! it's *NOT* fine to try and police, dehumanize, or discourage others from enjoying what they like just because it's *different* from you and they exist in a *shared* space.

friendly important reminder to *ship and let ship*, *art and let art* however that may be. even if i don't like the way a ship is presented or voice how *i* personally feel about it, i would *never* try to or even have the gall to tell someone *no, you can't do that, my way or the highway*

It does NOT *exclude* you to *include* others. It costs nothing to be *nice* or simply DNI. This is NOT a dichotomy. Fandoms do NOT need additional toxicity and bullying over something so *trivial* as fictional bullshit. EVER.

"i don't like bullies... i don't care where they're from." ;)

anywho~<3 i love top/bottom exploration because i have a very bad BAD~<3 dominance kink, but switching definitely gets the most downplaying/ignoring with a heavy focus on... mmm, i suppose often, more superficial elements half the time and i'll admit some of mine def are~ lmao nose size. and i don't say that to dissuade any writers, young or old. i say it to *encourage* moar deep diving<3<3<3 and even questioning the way you might think/listening to new perspectives~<3!

we all start somewhere and have times of exploration/learning~<3 learning moar and challenging yourself? that's a *good* thing<3<3<3 but sadly, not always valued (it should be!) :(

but apart from canon dynamices/character depth/personality to the best of my ability/understanding? the long answer is ANAL GAPE~<3

among other things, i'm sure that makes no sense whatsoever<3 because some other factors do get thrown in. intelligence because i'm a morosexual and LOVE big dumb tops<3<3<3, practicality super anuses are a death trap to not be played with however super phalli~, and weirdly... nose size. i'm not kidding!

yeah i know some idiot out there told me nose size is apparently related to phallus size and testosterone levels OH WAIT-- but oddly enough...? i think there may be some kinda instinct there LOL, because it seemed to registered in my brain the same way i registered my top/bottoms for the most part, even *before* learning that...

and i *swear*... i'll come back to this shit cause it's hilarious, but even in fanart, you'll see many artists subconsciously/purposefully give the guy they want to 'top' a bigger nose... even if he has a smaller one. ;)))))))))))))))))

BUTT ANAL GAPE! WHAT IS IT!?

not the nasty version ya nasties~<3

it basically boils down to... how big of an ASSHOLE is this asshole... just wide do those booty cheeks spread with the level a disrespect-- how *badly* does he *need* a good railing and prostate MMPH~<3<3<3! or even spanking~<3 how much of a control freak is he? how stubborn~? how far do those bitchy manipulative little devil vibes go~<3<3<3 what does he *want*? really want. figurative dick energy? is he compensating for something? is he in need of, holdin' out for a hero~<3<3<3? how so? how far from the goal of expressing positive masculinity are we and why? just how toxic we talkin~? i'm slippin' under<3

what is the outward presentation being given vs. the one he gives privately/with those he loves? there's a pretty big difference sometimes and it can say a lot. naturally gentle doms like kal-el or steve rogers i see get mislabeled for that old thing, 'mistaking kindness for weakness', so to speak. but as a general rule, they say that in the bedroom~ people actually tend to give the opposite of what they present in their day to day lives/'those with the most control of their lives are secretly the most submissive' or something along those lines, and it makes sense that things would manifest that way when you think about it. (ironically learned about this *after* learning my kinks)

a good example would be billy butcher, who gives the outward presentation of being rough and ragged and 'in control' wannabe logan, but is extremely soft, caring and submissive with those he loves<3 contrast with homelander who has had ZERO control over his own life from day one and *really* likes it rough when he gets the chance and--

boi lemme tell ya hwat--

it's a number of things, lmao, and the calculations in my head are automatic and will not make sense in numbers. so.

i don't think i need to explain much on anal gape when it comes to scott summers, lex luthor, bruce wayne, tony stark, and especially... *especially* billy butcher.

but lets not forget the added morosexual aspect~ which *can* even override anal gape! so let's go over what every one a my tagged ship bottoms might be saying to their big dumb idiot animal tops being DUMB<3<3<3

scott: *glares violently*

lex: *glares in pure bitch trying to hide the horny*

bucky: steve... what the fuck.

tony: *hard eye rolling and harder cuddling*

bruce: . . .

charles: ERIK!?

billy: *as he takes off his clothes* why... are you a brainless cunt?

pay no mind to homie's indignant huffing with a side of horny in response (somebody find me that goddamn meme lmao<3), and brucie might still be processing clark's stupidity lol<3

it's funny tho, cause i have competency kink too~<3 and i love me a good boi team up/learnin' as we go~<3<3<3

practicality? pretty self explanatory... way back when... dc gave us detail on the urinals of the justice league and pretty much confirmed man of steel, woman of kleenex (my favorite<3). i could not make this shit up-- (thanks btw dd for sending me this shit now i HAVE to share it)

so. given that we know superman's piss stream is strong enough to *dent* reinforced titanium steel when *weakened*--.

do i really have to say much about his sphincter? it makes diamonds, it makes fucking diamonds, do not stick anything up there unless you wanna lose it forever.

from a practical sense, i never like making it *easy* for clark~<3 to bone someone lmao, it's just too fun<3<3<3 (blue k is always an option of course) but also... he can vibrate it (along with his fingers and tongue), he has infinite stamina. and he has no refractory period... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

homelander is much the same, maybe with an added *lack* of control and def a bit moar scary leik, might deliberately murder you scary but STILL--

you could not fucking *PAY* me to miss a goddamn chance for superweiner--

not sure i wanna think about what martian manhunter has... but i'd still let him do whatever to me, honestly<3 he'd be the BEST gentle dom i *swear*. like he'd literally check in and politely ask on you instead of reading your mind and check for any discomfort and be SO SWEET and tender and caring, making sure you're okay the whole time and just genuinely give you an experience you're never gonna forget leik<3<3<3 J'ONN~<3! HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~<3<3<3

oops... ignore that--

and as for nose size~<3?

well~<3 OBVIOUSLY i want my bottoms to be getting the best they can<3 i SPOIL the shit out of them! of course we NEED the guy with the bigger dong nose to top, they should be havin' a grand ol' time~!

but back to that artist thing and genuinely, genuinely amazing. it's almost like a guarantee and i don't even know if people are aware of doing it, but it is always so hilarious and adorable to me. *especially* with billy butcher, the star of the anal gape show<3<3<3

"they just can't get my nose right!"

and of course no shade/disrespect to the actor (his nose is so goddamn cute<3<3<3 and i love it<3) or any other actors, or artists, but even *becca* (her nose is also cute and i love it~<3) had a bigger nose than him. seriously. homie's nose is fiiiiine~<3 but also actually bigger and longer. and it's just... ALMOST *guaranteed*. anyone who sees billy as a 'top' while drawing him *automatically* gives him the bigger/longer nose... and it just blows my mind how amazingly consistent that seems to be LOL (apparently like the study done on noses and weiners!)

what does that say about us, i wonder...?? (no seriously, i really wonder<3) adamant denial~<3 maybe? ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

billy boo does have the biggest eyes tho~<3<3<3

and apparently, did look it up... but it works inversely with bmi?? which... 100000% explains willem dafoe<3<3<3

it ALSO pretty much... confirms show homelander as their very own willem dafoe/norman osborn... and i never thought i'd have it THIS down bad for osborn but i can't with the things that does to me-- I'VE BEEN CONVERTED!! like the boi *already* is confimed *HUGE* canonically. *by BILLY* in the comic!

but by the gods--

down to the lovely eyes, scary smile, and psychosis. so it is that history repeats... hello mad daddy~<3

god i need to watch dafoe's spooderman again<3

I guess billy boo is now confirmed to be actually *compensating* for SOOOOOO much--

welp. i guess this explains why billy called himself an 'alpha male' unironically which i will never let him live down~<3 he already has the biggest gape i have EVER seen on a character. EVER. like. this boi. has enough gape to fit a goddamn planet up his ass. let's be generous and say that show boi billy is just at moon level. but it is still just. HUGE. which i guess makes homie just the perfect match for him given the willem dafoe vibes--

and honestly... it's beautiful<3

and the best part about billy is just how *self aware* he is of this. he postures to high hell and plays the part his dad would want him to, but he knows it's a goddamn problem, *addiction*, *hates* it, and spends his life looking for *solutions* and *self punishment*...

that's homie baby~<3

billy considered becca his *cure* (if the clear cut submissive role he took with her wasn't enough<3<3<3 SO CUTE<3<3<3) but *homelander* is the *replacement*. his *last resort*. cut my life into pieces--NOOOOO--

goddammit billy boo, i *really* do feel for you, i do... but lemme translate what billy butcher is *actually* saying in both the show and comic in going after homelander. cause lemme tell ya it ain't just revenge...

*destroy me, eviscerate me. because i am afraid of what i will do if you can't stop me. and because you took away the one who could save me, you owe me this and i will take it if need be.*

because there's *one* thing that billy fears, and he's had the ability to say it, even feel it... beaten out of him. but he almost always fully goes into battle *not* intending to come out of it. he *wants* to die and he hates himself a whole lot... and he knows. it's the thing his father gave him, the sickness he passed on that billy never wanted but can't control. but this would also be why he gives no fucks about 'collateral'.

even if by force or violence, billy wants to fail, he wants to be held down, he *wants* to lose, he wants to get knocked back down until he can't get back up anymore. he sure as hell isn't gonna make it easy for anyone, that's not in his nature, but he knows what happens if he can keep going.

billy knows he's a monster, but he is preconditioned to never control it. he sees the kindred monster in homelander, preconditioned to be *under control* but slipping through and vying to get loose... but homelander, despite everything *still* has control... billy wants to see it break, he *needs* it.

ugh~<3<3<3 yes, i know i am redundant with this shit<3 but it's just SO poetic<3<3<3 i CANNOT--

even season 3 evidenced their dynamic and dug in perfectly. scorched urf? the candle's fuckin' lit. herogasm? 3 on 1. ONLY A BRUISE--. billy, bloody smile~ comes back for more? billy gets his ass kicked by the dad on his own and only *maeve* gets anything done to homelander... who doesn't want to kill her, so he holds back even if she won't.

"i respect what you are even if you don't--."

got. damn...

but homie? he's the last lifeline, and he's tied to *both* sides of billy. and a people pleaser<3<3<3! who's also too dumb to get what's going on with billy, not that he'd care if he did... who's at the same time caught and curious by billy's obsession and the mirror between them<3

homie wants and knows how to please people... not just because he's been trained for it or a clear cut service top with dark~<3 elements<3<3<3 or because he wants the feeling he gets from their approval/admiration. very typical of a narcissist lmao, but also because of the added vulnerability that he is easily manipulated/exploited by the women in his life, not realizing he's a victim or being groomed/manipulated.

even the uh... *moment* he had with stillwell, she exploits his trauma and desire for a mother so directly that he just totally loses it and profusely appologizes. he's aware of how to *please* someone if ya get me~<3 ;))))))) (by the apology given at all) but he's *not* aware that she is abusing/exploiting his trauma in this way *because he lacks empathy for himself/has never genuinely had it given without some sort of exploitive exchange*, sort of opposite of billy in this sense too. poor dumb baby~<3!

what's really extra hilarious and ironic is that stormfront is pretty much what a lady billy would be but nowhere near as good as manipulating as him

but all homelander has ever known is the *examples* set before him by vought. and it's... quite obviously not a good one... :(((((((((((((((((( but he's *not* aware. billy is much the same, but he *is* aware. hence the deep buried cravings to be *free* vs. fucking approval ratings in homie, and *controlled* vs. lack of self control in billy... goddammit the fucking POETRY<3<3<3

so? it's just more of the same old same old. and homie loves, LOVES not having to hold back once he gets a taste for it... with *stormfront* no less... but *also* from billy in a different sense and now... beyond. still ADORE how he went flaccid on the nazi rhetoric lmao even this boi has his limits<3--

"let's light this candle--"

it's already fucking lit--

... you know full well how excited i get, lmao<3 and ya DID ask<3<3<3 XD

everyone else (to homelander): don't be what they made you... please for the love of fucking gawd, PLEASE--

billy: be what they fucking made you motherfucker, i wanna fuck FIGHT and see everything destroyed. i'll wait.

stormfront: be what we fucking made you, i wanna fuck and see everything not us destroyed. i won't wait.

but the short answer? i go by % of willem dafoe energy, the *CORRECT* answer is WILLEM DAFOE<3<3<3 (not to be confused with norman osborn... unless willem dafoe<3) DUH~!

WOOO-- goddamn... and i ain't even done yet. i spend WAY too much time obsessing over these fuckers, i SWEAR.

and ALSO the ladies~<3 are tops. all of them. ALL OF THEM. NO EXCEPTIONS-- lmao, KIDDING... maybe<3 (i might do another one going over mah lady~<3 ships<3<3<3 cause this got long... and i did get carried away with butchy and homie... of course i did. but you know how i love them<3<3<3)

[princessmo]

ok im HATING im gonna be a HATERRRR under the cut so do NOT come at me. i think my meds are wearing off and i'm mad about shit that doesn't matter (it's b&bh ship opinions. i'm not trying to start shit i simply want to bitch)

1. so glad i haven't seen any beavis/daria shippers on here. let's keep that up

2. i fr will neverrrrr understand why people ship butthead/daria. idc that there are occasional bits that imply he likes her bc SHE HATES HIMMM and she's a dyke and in a relationship with jane. she literally only spends time with b&bh because she sees them as a fucking science experiment; she's doing that thing popular girls do where they adopt autistic kids as pets. she doesn't want to be their friend, she wants to put them under a fucking microscope and find out what's wrong with them. she wants them dead and she didn't give half a shit when she thought they were! this is all spoken as someone who loves daria btw

3. beavis and butthead are gay and in love and literally married. they're horrible and i love them and every woman on earth is too good for them. they should only ever be with each other they literally cannot function when separated for more than 5 minutes. they do not need to infect anyone else

[niccerooniererer]

BTD6 HC LIST FOR HEROES

Sadly not all, as sadly I can't spare enough thoughts for everyone sorry

----------------------------------------------------------

Quincy

Disaster bisexual

Has a thing for gnc reckless idiots (he doesn't realize it)

Scared of thunder

Romcom fan

He's easy to scare, horror gets him easily

Stronger than he looks

Only thing he's smart w is his bow

Particularly oblivious, yet easily notices tension between other people

Insecurity. Basically canon

Tends to push himself w training due to that

Becomes even more stupid when nervous, tries to break tension by doing the dumbest thing he can think of

Cuddly. Loves warm cuddles. Affectionate

Used to be real popular at school (yeah I hc he went to public school)

That's where his insecurities started because people always wanted the best of him

Veeeery sincere

Thrown a certain someone on a MOAB before

----------------------------------------------------------

Etienne

Afraid of heights

Shitty eyes, shitty legs

Cane user

Huge interest in flying, reason he made his drones

Used to be good at hacking

Kind of blunt but not in a rude way

Occasional weird word choices which make him sound a bit weird

Tends to swear in french more

Picky eater, fast food is really not his thing

PDA makes his stomach turn. Most he can handle is unobtrusive tail to tail touch

Probably the most closed off about personal life, very professional

Unexpected friendship with Gwen (not good) she gives him ideas on some really funny things to say, as even with all that professionalism he loves jokes

Snorts at puns which he hates, unless the pun was in french

Occasional gamer

Gay and french ??! Pick a struggle dame !! /Silly

Also hc him to be aro-acespec, this guy has a hard time getting romantic feels

Past with Ben, used to date him when they were working in the same place, separated because life pulled them too far away each other

So bitter when they meet again. But it was hard to say no when in private Ben came to him sobbing, apologizing and trying to save what they had. He gives in, love wins <3

Gets cold easily, hero that gets sick the most

Has a strange amount of love for outdated memes

Since he knows Ben is more up to date, just to spite him, he would print out the oldest memes he can find and hand them to Ben randomly

He would also hand these to others as well, just to see their reactions, it's like his unofficial "research"

----------------------------------------------------------

Gwen

That is a whole lesbian right there

Knows Quincy was into her at some point but doesn't really mind it. They're friends

Talking friends, she's big time besties with August (my oc, you'll hear a lot about him if I let it out of me), being awful hazards together n all, almost getting each other banned from the battlefield for getting so careless

Fire related puns and jokes. Canon basically

Has one of those kiss the cook aprons for when she grills

A bit of an anarchist

Gets REALLY excited about all sorts of destruction, not just fire

Girl that loves breaking rules soooooo much

For this reason she has a weird amount of fascination for natural disasters and the like

Has a competitive mutual gay thing going on with Sauda and Brickell. Hard to tell what the relationship there is between the 3 but it's def queer

Mullet Gwen mullet gwen

Kinda queer that would beat up homophobic bullies for you

She tends to pick fights like that a lot

TEMPER BIG HUGE BIG

Tho the good part because of that is she has a lot of passion

----------------------------------------------------------

Benjamin

Literal streamer. In breaks or chatting streams he plays fnf mods

Has bought a maid outfit before because a charity donation goal being reached (he rocked it)

Has a complicated but tragic relationship with crypto and nfts

That's a functional bisexual right there, mostly functional

Bit of a flirt but only to get what he wants

B…. Boob (sorry)

Always plays a support character in multiplayer games, just like how he is

Vocaloid fan

Has done weird things for really big donations before, he regrets

The kinda guy that actively keeps up with trends and tends to have opinions about them

Due to said opinions he had to do apology videos before but he just never learns

From desk job to secret agency worker who was managing huge amounts of data with programs he built himself

Said work really pulled him away from someone he really really loved

Imagine his surprise when he saw him again. Looking hurt

Can't lie with a straight face, tries anyways

Dry ass eyes from staring at his screen too much

Also carpal tunnel moment. Etienne sometimes appears in his streams to yell at him to stretch his hands

Works well under pressure, which is why he got to be the code monkey hero

Used to support "creative" algos (what we usually call AI for some reason but it isn't really AI) until he saw how people use them

Commissions artwork of himself from time to time. His demeanor about being drawn always gets him a discount since he's "such a joy to work with"

Do you guys also remember something about him living in a cave

----------------------------------------------------------

Striker Jones

Kinda dad, literally canon

Keeps bubblewrap in his pockets for when he stresses out too much from battle

Usually laid back about it though

Etienne and him working on jokes together is a worst case scenario/silly

Likes to tell jokes, especially puns to Obyn because it really annoys him

Yeah one of his love languages is making you angry <3

Can sure work the grill

Loves to read non fiction books and long realist novels

Non sensical but due to some mishearing lines, there was an Emo Lady in his life once who he doesn't think fondly of (the way he says MOAB sounds like emo lady)

D… dad bod. That's all

Has reading glasses

----------------------------------------------------------

Brickell

Augaghaaughah woman

STRONG, can throw you if she so desires, her height doesn't stop her

Had the biggest leather jacket phase before getting really into her navy look

A lot more laid back when off duty

Not too fond of jokes, doesn't really get memes

Big fan of wlw manga and shoujo in general

Knows her history, was one of her favourite classes too

Was a great swimmer from a very young age

Even went to competitions, tho she didn't get too far with that

Very just and fair

Though a great liar, playing poker with her is Hard

She could just stare the truth out of you, like, it's deadly, it's like she sees into your soul

Generally not one to dress down, girl loves her navy ass outfits

----------------------------------------------------------

Churchill

The manga guy, we already know

Engages with all sorts of genres since he's curious about all the culture he can learn, along with morals the stories hold

Commissions artwork of himself a lot, also how he has manga about himself at his house (that lives in my head… why would he do that)

He is short, his battles 2 self does not exist to me

Big fan of cosplaying

Most likely to hop on Ben's streams time to time

Very strong, as he should be

When he feels like it, he arm wrestles with Sauda and Brickell when those 2 aren't too absorbed in each other or Gwen

He is Etienne's 2nd most regular victim of bad memes, since he always looks so devastated

When people don't know about him that he's into manga, he has a harder time easing into talking about it, so he'll always start w the most normal thing, as if he didn't see food porn the anime (I don't actually know the name of it)

Probably the best hero to sit with in silence and do nothing, or read if you get bored

----------------------------------------------------------

Sauda

She is so cocky and oeperfect

God she is so so strong

Can't swim, like at all

She's great and she knows it

Can get annoyed if people can't keep up with her

Due to that, she isn't always the best to work with, as she's not the biggest team player

Often gets approached to help design cards (like an invitation card or what's it called) due to her pretty handwriting

Loves to play fight, her love language is holding you down until you tell her to stop

Loves to tease, especially if she thinks you're weak

Cut her hair on accident once while practicing with her swords

In general she has accidents a lot, it mostly happens when she thinks she's simply Too Amazing to mess up in the moment and then she does

Has been patched up at least once by most heroes

When she gets tired or tipsy, she gets really touch starved and kinda begs to be cuddled. She denies this

She does get tired a lot as she trains a lot

Not really someone who likes silence and peace, but those few occasional times when she feels that way, you really can't bother her

When she gets sick she also gets cuddly and needy (not good)

----------------------------------------------------------

Obyn

That's my dad he's a wolf

Very caring and loves his druids so much

He tends to hold picnics for them, sometimes the heroes as well

Although a dad, jokes have never been his thing

And does Striker Jones take advantage of that, 2 opposing forces, like their own weird kinda foreplay or something

Gives 2nd best hugs from the heroes

He goes awoo, it's a habit he can't shake off, he will awoo at the Moon sometimes when he forgets he shouldn't

Tends to call the druids his pack

They love to be his pack

Probably the hero that has seen most of the world, bit of a traveller

Considering he was raised by wolves, he isn't sure of his origin. Also the reason why he travelled the world

Also I know he's just an oc, but that's when he got his lil guy, my lil big guy CC who is worryingly tall and strong while being 17 (that's what Obyn gets for mingling with someone who isn't a monkey lol)

He loves being a dad to especially orphan druids because at least if he didn't have one, he can be just that to others

The best with children

----------------------------------------------------------

Ezili

Loves the horror, draws the horror

Loves to "jumpscare" people during halloween

Loves to dress up for it as well

Her morning routine involves reading a good horror short story

Has resting bitch face

Has rancid vibes. All cuz of the curses

Big big fan of silence

Loves to see the big bloons fall, that look on her face she gets when they do

It's like she gets pleasure out of murdering them

Insults from her tend to hurt more because she curses her words as well

I know I said this before but she would be a great William Afton, to me

Let her be unhinged is what I'm saying

[plushyuicorn1158]

gay little demons and their modern parallels

oh the autism is strong with this one. i've been watching good omens for 3 days nonstop and have so many thoughts so heres a block of text about queer things/trauma response parallels in good omens

crowley/azraphael are very obviously portrayed as good/evil foils and like we got that. however i make the argument that not only are they foils they also portray the roles certain people take up in modern society so crowley for example. hes the "bad" one. he's the angel who fell and therefore he must be terrible. but we see so clearly his want to be good. it's just shrouded by the demands of his society. so when looking at him as an alegory for queer people/internalized homophobia, he takes on the role of the self hating queer. someone who knows he is queer, who has been hated/bullied/demeaned for it and he internalized it and believes it is a fundamentally bad part of him. he tries to run from it however his true nature tends to peak through. now lets look at azraphale. he takes the role of the resilient queer. someone who can see the damage being done to his fellow queer people but he believes in the "few bad apples" fallacy. if he can just get the few bad apples out of power than everyone will be able to be their true selves and be happy. he is the idealist whereas crowley is the realist. and even though he himself has been damaged by this, he still believes in the goodness of people and wants to fix it so as far as queerness goes, crowley is a queer who desperately wants to let himself love but he has been taught otherwise. azraphale has been taught that a few bad people don't make all the rules and whats important is that crowley and azraphale need each other as balancing points. where crowley is untrusting, azraphale is there to show him that people can be good. and when azraphale is inevatebly harmed by awful people, crowley is there to comfort him. so while they foil each other they also need each other to function in society and the way it functions

because crowley is the quintessential black sheep to azraphales golden child. azraphale believes he is the mediator. he is the fixer. and if he just tries harder he can fix everything. theres some grand gesture he can do to fix it. but crowley has accepted the fact the he is inhearently awful, as hes been told. crowley doesn't think he can fix things and he doesn't want to. he is very much a flight person. the minute something happens that threatens his worldview or challenges his perception of himself he runs because the person he truly is, is vile and harmful and he doesn't want to take the chance at vulnurability and this is shown clearly but also subtextually crowley has bright yellow eyes with slit pupils. so when he goes out into human society or is around people he doesnt fully trust he wears dark glasses. and what we see is that he takes them off around azraphale. even when azraphale isnt there he takes them off in the bookshop because he feels safe there. and so this pattern of behavior makes their final confrentation all the more painful. because he bares his soul to azraphale and when he feelings aren't returned the exact same way, he assumes he's hated. and so, after this massive breech of trust and vulnurability, he puts the glasses back on. he puts all his walls back up because the one person he thought he could trust with this has let him down he is so broken, and this moment is his desperate plea to azraphale to see him. to love him. and azraphale does, in his own way. but not in the way crowley understands. and because theres such a breakdown in communication, azraphale thinks that his action is showing crowley just how much he does love him

but to crowley, it says the exact opposite

and theres this moment of dialouge i wanna draw attention too crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and azraphales response is "oh crowley, nothing lasts forever" and its this moment that really shows how they fundamentally understand and misunderstand each other and i'll tell you why what azraphale is saying here is that nothing lasts forever. what he means is that the bookshop is just material. earth and heaven and hell they're all temporary. but this, him and crowley, this is eternal. he is going back to heaven and he is taking crowley with him so they can carve out a new life together. he is going to fix things and give crowley everything he's every wanted and they will be happy. but thats not what crowley hears. what he hears in this moment is "nothing lasts forever." nothing will last. he hears azraphale saying that this thing they have, that means more to crowley than any material posession, is nothing. it wont last. he hears azraphale choosing the system that has harmed him and cast him out and made him feel worthless. and now, the only thing he's allowed himself to love in 6000 years has turned their back on him. has given into the system and betrayed him

[randomshyperson]

https://www.tumblr.com/randomshyperson/734623074843049984/hellooo-so-ive-been-reading-your-fics-for-about

Heyoo so I haven't watched that one lol is it good? I've seen a bit about it but haven't given it a chance yet, yet I have seen France, Spain, DRUCK (and very excited for the fic of that one ngl 🤭) and ofc the OG, have you seen the Spain one, it's one of my favourites frrr also can we get a little sneak peek of the other story (if you don't feel comfortable that's okkkk thank you so much for sharing your work with us 💕) also can I be 🐜 anon?

FIRST OF ALL, GO WATCH WTFOCK SEASON 3! Like, their Evak season is one of my favorite versions, Sander is such a sweetheart, he's the best Even, boyfriend material. And all the characters were allowed more screen time and plots, remember the girl that Isak tries to date in order not to look gay, and the only function the Original (and most remakes) gave her was to be the annoying girlfriend? WE HAVE THE SUPERIOR Noor Bauwens. She's just so-

I'm too gay for this.

I can't speak about the entire Wtfock. The 3th is really good, but I haven't watched the other two. Also, a lot of people hate the 4th and I never watched. The new season is nice, I've been busy to follow them, but the couple has a lot of chemistry and it's WLW so I'm down for it. All episodes are available on Youtube, which is a super bonus.

But yes, I have seen Eskam. I love Crisana (and cris season is so fun) and I was never able to get over my crush on Joana and that's okay. I don't like the first season much, but love the girl's squad dynamic. Also, their Noora/Vilde Season is something else, right? I feel like the put on a lot of things the fandom wanted to see in the original.

I think I have seen at least one season (or a few episodes) of each remake. I didn't follow them all, since the first four seasons are the same plot, but I have seen them all. My favorite was Skam NL, and to this day the fact that they got canceled haunts me. Skam Italia is amazing, all seasons! The characters have incredible chemistry and they changed a lot of the dynamics, it makes it feel like a new show. AND I LOVE DRUCK, are you kidding me? Third-best after NL version, they have the best chances into the storylines and the new generation is just superior to anything the others tried to do it (I'M TALKING TO YOU SKAM FRANCE). And we have Transgenders Characters falling in love, talking about the subject and it's so so beautiful. BTW, I like Skam France too, but they broke my heart with Maya and Lola breaking up so I'm not on good terms with them.

I hate Skam Austin and can't believe they approved that.

I don't wanna share the story because I'm always changing it! And I have dozens of drafts, and none is usable haha But I can say that the main inspiration will be the healthy versions of Noora/William. Sorry, but the original one is just not it for me. I loved Nooreva too much and hated William. Plus, Noora literally gets sick from anxiety while dating him, so nope. Not gonna work. Lucky for us, Skam Italia and Druck gave us healthy versions of this couple. I think Edoardo and Eleonora are the main inspirations, but Mia and Alexander are incredible as well. I could put some references to Skam NL as well, since Liv and Noah are very sweet and I feel like the closest I could be to a William is the Noah Sad artist version.

I can't give any spoilers for the druck fic because I want it to be the best one, Kieutou is my favorite skam couple. I'm gonna invest some extra time into this one.

[underrated-adversaries]

I'm gonna. Show you more blorbos. I can be normal.

👇 this meme made by lovely mutual @/prince-gallade. Society hates Yomotsu's ambitions 💥💥

Transmasc Yomotsu real he got the pussy and the dick he's so slay.

We see Yomotsu's sexiness with his. Canonical, in the visual novel, Future Diary the 13th Diary Keeper, very big buldge. Look at that. SOMEONE DREW THAT. SOMEONE MADE THAT HAPPEN. I SURE WONDER OF THE ARTISTIC INTENTIONS BEHIND HIS SPRITE. And also him with no ass. We get two Yomotsu ass shots in this VN....... How interesting...

Here's Takao in the visual novel, can't believe they made him ginger in the VN 💥💥 Anyway he is so goofy ahh and unhinged I hope he gets betrayed and crushed under rubble... Eheh....

And here's Takao in the anime art style, the only time in this art style where he smiles !! (This is from a gosh darn card game eidbjsbd) I hope he dies 5 times more. What a silly smile. I hate it.

Here we see gay people unable to properly communicate their affections for one another, truly a sight. Losers. Perfect material for a miscommunication fic. Eheh.

Based off PinnochioP's ねえねえねえ.

(Here's also an ENG cover I really love for this song..)

Autism creature Yomotsu :) yippee my silly guy... Yippee....

This one Takao art which derives from the classic Yuno Yandere pose, which you might have seen before. Ahh Yuno.. but this isn't about her this is about her greasy 30 year old teacher and he is so so okay and can function like a normal human being. He won't get heavily and unhealthily attached to anybody. He's a professional man. Ye.

Bald Takao to curse your soul. Sorry. I hate him too. My bestie used him in a science project once.

That's a lotta blorbos...

I am going to remind you of them in your notifs when I inevitably rb one of your rbs and tag it with the blorbos. >:3

i love how you are about them LOL and the fact that you probably just had these images at the ready makes it even better

[astrid-delacour]

more things my friends have said as marauders quotes

Barty: sperm shaped drinks are the best kind of drinks

Lily: I do what I want /DEBAUCHERY

Pandora: did you just use debauchery as tone tag

James: sleep paralysis possum

Remus: I'm like a functional alcoholic

Evan: I'm not edgy but my friend had a dream last year

Marlene: he's so basic I can't see him

Sirius: do they make foot lingerie

Sirius: you look like the grinches dog

Evan: I would never call the ace alliance it's legal name in casual conversation

Mary: your hair is the colour of the devil

Sirius: it's not gay if we both have girlfriends

Regulus: I am better at the tism cause I make the noise

Lily: who drew balls on my board?!

James: I'm like Thomas Edison and you're that welsh dude

Remus: Stalin?

Regulus: I'm mean but not detriment to dental hygiene mean

Sirius: this is the one thing the Catholic Church would back me up on

Marlene: she's so mommy, I want to use her thighs as earmuffs

James: give me the fucking magnet back you hoe

James: we do not call 12 ear olds hot in this establishment

Barty: are you a Rick or morty?

Evan: idk

Barty: I feel like you're a rick cause you're autistic

Barty: I'm a whore for jack skellington

Dorcas: I'm a whore for sally

Lily: omg we're literally the bubonic plague

James: whatever fruits your loops

Sirius: I'm not to gay for anything, except heterosexual relationships

Remus: that takes a level of common sense I don't have

Barty: I've added a sneeze for every year of my life

Sirius: "*takes dramatic bow and twirls hair like a Renaissance girl who's secretly a witch*"

Marlene: fuck you and your two prong fork I have a seven prong fork

Marlene: she's a bitch but I love her that's my opinion of her (about dorcas)

Regulus: take an IQ test rn and while you're at it take an "am I gay" quiz

Regulus: ok 1684 the men were being whores and the girls were being whores (describing his family)

Mary: can you guys stop being horny on main please? (Talking about Canada)

Lily: nothing goes harder than the electoral college at homecoming

Pandora: I'm still on my autism high

James: you never know how fast you're walking until you body check a wall

Barty: it's really hot when you hear the tortured screams of a child predator dying

James: no one pulls my leg on leg day

James: thank sweet cheesus

Dorcas: it's a requirement

Evan: THATS A LIE. That is a LIE

Dorcas: it definitely is....

Evan: sweet lord Jesus

first year: vou have to come vou stand in line and have chicken fingers

Dorcas: I'm signing you up for Tuesday

Evan: I hate you

(In a baby voice) Sirius: I'm wubber wou're gwue what ever bounces off me stwicks to WOU

(Also baby voice) Marlene: jwokes on wou I'm cement *closes door and leaves*

Sirius: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!? MARLENE! MARLENEEEE

James: so we've got a white a black and a Hispanic. I love cultural diversity 

Mary: ohhhh so he PlaysTM golf

Mary: right person wrong time except by wrong time you just don't like him and right person you mean he's ugly

Mary: I hot girl summered a little too close to the sun

Lily: you would put an e minor in there

Mary: Marlene needs to be spayed

Marlene: you're like garage band

Dorcas: Lily I think my song is killing Marry

Lily: good

Lily: it needs a little more work and by a little I mean I haven't started it

Dorcas: this is not a no judgement zone, this is a very judgement zone

Sirius: dairy-free, gluten-free, uhh vegan-free, it's all the frees

Dorcas: how self sabotagey are we feeling today

James: .... functionable

Peter/Remus: what? did you just say functionable?

James: ....veah

Peter: it's functional

James: seriously?!?!

Remus: yeahhhh

James: I was homeschooled ok!

Remus: how long have you been saying it like that?

James: anyways...

Dorcas: I'm not getting that sappy! They don't deserve that!!

Mary: your eyebrows are like 3 business days from your eyelids

Marlene: that is the bassiest bass

Mary: sometimes you just have to accept the crack

Peter: James would be a court jester

Pandora: that's very hannon-y

Pandora: like power ballad but make it cats

Lily: how loving should be as easy as ...?

Marlene: COW

Marlene: like cow eat grass

Mary: loving should be as easy as 'insert metaphor here'