#i hate not living with a dog in our house
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actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road
it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too
i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats
i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain
cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo
(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#tw pet death#tw cat death#i hate everything so much and my day is ruined#sorry to come at you with this but its just#the grief and anger i feel for these poor things is more than their owners ever will feel im sure#just getting another one like its a consumable piece of candy#its so common here i hate it#why are people so insistent on it#the fact that the shelter here too advocates for outdoor cats in every cats description makes me twice as mad#do you actually care for them or do you hope they die quickly so people get one more frquently or what#i thought about writing them but i have had both of my cats from there and i am afraid they would not take it well#i dont know how to approach trying to make a change in this case#(my current cat is indoor only obviously and shes about 10 now- which is the oldest of any cats i have known has gotten)#this is germany specific btw ... if theres anyone that knows an organization trying to change this pls let me know
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I WANT A DOG SO BAD
#c shut up#I MISS MY DOGS I SEE THEM EVERY 2 WEEKS BC THEY LIVE WITH MY MOM AND THEY CANT MOVE IN HERE#cause its just 100x easier for them to live with my mom and my grandpa#ANYWAYS I WANT A PUPPER TO SNUGGLE WITH SOOOOO BAD#gosh#i hate not living with a dog in our house#i love our birds to death but a dog would be nice too :’)#but we agreed not until the girls are here and like 3 or 4#so we have a long way to go 😭😭😭😭😭
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i never saw an issue with it when i was 15 but sometimes i regret not having that stupid teenage love phase
#like idk i hated the idea of it then- spending all my time with someone else when i was busy with school but now i’m 22 and my partner and i#don’t have any time to our selves bc they’re always at work and we’re sorting all this shit out with their dads estate and i’m watching the#kids it’s like our life revolves around everything except each other and i kinda miss being 15 and having nothing but school to worry ab and#idk i just sometimes wish i spent more time when i had it just doing dumb shit with them#like having them over on a weekend when all i had to worry ab was homework and i could spend the rest of my time with th em kissing them#talking to them#now 24/7 i’m worrying ab the baby and trying to hell with the house and the fucking dog and jusg RIWOhcusual#our relationshup has always been like idk so oriented around other people and i’m SO OVER IT#i want it to be us#not putting up with my fucking parents deadnaming them#not putting up with their alcoholic father#not fucking putting up with all my sisters kids and her house and just IOFJWHCH#i want us to live together i want us to be married i want us to have time together!!!!!!!!#anyway sorry#「mercury speaks」
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recently ive been getting really sick of my neighbors i wish that i had a bunch of money so that i could buy up their houses and only let people i live live near me
#neighbors 1 used to be friends but theyre trumpies and also neglect and borderline abuse their dog#i like river hes not a bad dog but hes not trained well and is a very large and powerful dog and really really wants to kill my cats#and they just let him loose wander in the road wander into other peoples yards and hes trapped me and my mom outside because#he tries to force his way into our house if we try to go back inside of our house and i kinda dont want my cats guts splattered everywhere#neighbors 2 have a fenced in yard with a lab and a husky that they leave outside all of the time in their yard#as far as i know they dont have a dog house or even food and water out there and absolutely no toys and the dogs bark constntly#probably because theyre so bored outside in the hot weather usually without shade and no entertainment they bark at each other#or anyone in the yards of the neighboring houses or they bark at the door begging to be let back inside or bark at the windows#and theyre patriots too they got one of those huge skeletons last halloween and theyve kept it up ever since changing out the spotlight#for holidays which initially i really liked i thought it was funny but then for memorialday/july 4th they dressed in patriotically#and i hate america so . i hate them and how they neglect their dogs#neighbors 3 they are related to the one good neighbor BUT. theyre married (?) and they scream at each other arguing all of the time and#because of the geography of where we live it echos right to our house very loudly and it gives me anxiety and they have a kid or kids#who sometimes cry loudly because they scream yell at each other loudly i kinda hope they (not the kids) go to hell#neighbors 4 i . im not sure if theyre newer here but they also have dogs but so far theyve kept them on leashes i think?#except for that one time where their dog just. walked up to me. idk if they let the dog loose on purpose or if it was accidental#but recently me and my mom were outside messing with the garden and They are also a couple and were screaming at each other#also ! i love straight people 😍 please breakup or get a divorce or move away or go to hell youre fucking crazy people go to therapy#and then theres the people on super loud motorcycles or in super loud cars and then theres the other neighbors with the isra hell flag#and the other neighbors that i SUPER SUPER SUPER HATE and have hated for YEARS ecause i went to school with one and hes#racist as fuck i hope he dies or something. and because of them we dont even go down the road that way#they have free roaming animals that would go into the road and they run some ? atv repair or something out of their house and sometimes#completely occupy the whole road loading shit or something. like if you want stereotypical redneck assholes its them#and i hate all of these people so much. mutuals you should live here instead of them. its the blue ridge mountains its higher altitude#its pretty but sometimes it rains and causes something of a 'creek' to flow but were on a mountain so it flows down and away#and well sometimes the sewer smells really bad for some reason idk but like . its fine dont worry about it#and bears might drag your trashcans up the mountain but just dont leave food outside and they wont do that#we have a . shockingly beautiful ?? dumpster on the road too so its okay 👍#dear lird i just scrolled up and thats a lot of words . o well
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if i go to jail for strangling my brother, just know he tried to kill me first by bringing over his girlfriend 's cat all the time, knowing i'm allergic
#me talking#vent#rant#for legal reasons this is a joke#but seriously i have not been able to smell and/or breathe right almost all year cuz of them#the excuse is her door doesn't lock so she's afraid the dogs might hurt the cat#BUY A FUCKING LOCK#OR STAY AT HER HOUSE TO WATCH THE CAT AND NOT COME TO OUR HOUSE#like i was nice at first about it cuz i thought it would be an infrequent thing and that he'd keep up with cleaning his room#but the cat lives in his room half the time now and he doesn't keep up with cleaning#and i'm just constantly stuffy and feel on the verge of being sick a lot of the time#and i had to renew my asthma inhaler prescription for the first time back in the spring#after not needing it for like 7+ years#and when i once asked him to vacuum his room while his gf could hear#apparently that upset her and 'made her not feel welcome here' and that i had to apologize#i did not apologize cuz fuck you! you're the ones not allowing me to breathe in my own home!#my brother is a fucking idiot#i'm so tired of playing nice with them#i might just send him a link to how cat dander travels along with where to buy door locks#i hate my brother sometimes i really do
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nothing i love more than being yelled slurs by my neighbor sitting inside his screen porch. nothing better!
#he's such a coward too like come out say it to my face. cunt.#but doesn't mean i have to like it lolol#literally me and my mom both hate being in our front yard bc of him.... Good thing I don't actually live here lol! sorry mom!#Would literally rather have the guy who lived in that house before him who would drive loops around the block drunk blaring music#like at least he was kind of nice. And he had a blue car#this guy is an alcoholic also but just never leaves his house. Nice dog tho
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Love when my neighbors threaten to shoot our animals :) perks of living in the boonies i guess :)
#they are fucking evil and psycho#one of our cats disappeared recently and im pretty certain they killed her. makes me want to cry and throw up thinking abt it#we have all of the cats put up inside permanently now which is what i always prefer anyway#but since its notmy house It wasn’t my choice b4#funny how it just so happens we have a bunch of pets and animal luvrs living rite next door to ppl who admittedly HATE animals#like ysterday the crazy bitchtold went off on my aunt ranting about how she won’t stop her pos husband frm shooting the cats/dogs#and ya it’s legal to shoot guns whenever the fuck u want out here literally smtimes u hear shooting all day and into the night til 4am#crazy af i hate it#i want to kill & maim them so bad :))
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its fine its not like i needed to sleep anyway i could just. stay up fighting the cold and work on projects and art
#the amount of restraint#in my fucking body right now#to keep me from making things worse JUST to see if one of us dies in the process#i hate this fucking house and i hate being poor and i hate living like this#inhales#the only way im staying warm is by crying and with this headache i have that makes my whole head hurt and warm#this shit. sucks#and what the fuck am i gonna do#keep complaining to friends like they can do shit about it?#talking never fucking helps me#and damn. sorry its my fault our dog is old and has bone problems and a weak bladder#sorry that yall decided to use my room to lock her up whenever yall dont feel like looking at her#sorry i. at the age of 10. asked for a dog on my bday
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Tartaglia is getting increasingly jealous about the attention you are giving daddy dendro, be careful clari😳
WAAAAH anon!!! (*/ω\*) stop hehehe u just made me so giddy!!! he is such the jealous type tho like the man is borderline yandere and lately i’ve been thinking about just how he’d react, knowing he was my first favourite, my original favourite, but then came ayato and thoma (a packaged deal, of course), and now here comes alhaitham, stomping all over everything with his big stupid boots and what the fuck??? ajax was here first, and he doesn’t even have a single fic to show for it, only bits and pieces of finished work!? that’s not fair! hehehe waaah i just feel like he’d be fuming over it all and def plotting some clever yet gruesome murders 。:゚(。ノω\。)゚・。
#i’m gonna get my other men killed by accident fr#no hahaha like once my best friend and i were talking about what it would be like to live in a house full of our favourite characters right#and it just makes me think about living in a house full of my genshin faves and how fucking chaotic it would be#because obv ayato has thoma to lean on; his loyal dog his obedient pup who loves to serve him#so they’ve got each other#haitham doesn’t need *anyone*; he’s so independent and honestly he most likely wouldn’t even WANT to be friends with the rest of them#seeing them as either insignificant or a waste of his previous time or just plain rivals#i could see him getting on politely with ayato but i know he’d be able to see how sneaky and sly ayato actually is like immediately#so he’d keep him close just to keep an eye on him#and then my poor ajax#who everyone would hate#who would be alone and suffering because of it#who would be JEALOUS and possessive and clingy and needy#not that he isn’t strong + smart enough to handle himself because he is#i just think emotionally he’d have a harder time controlling himself#he’d be prone to emotional outbursts and the other men would find it easy to poke and prod and just set him off#which is dangerous they should not do that#anyway i could go on forever about this HAHAHA it’s my daydream lately#hope ur doing wonderful anon bb!! <3#enjoy your weekend and stay safe!!!! don’t forget to hydrate <3#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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denji bby boy if you met my dog you would know without a doubt that they stink
#he is the smelliest mfer ive ever encountered (affectionate)#tho our house probably smells awful to ppl who dont live here.......#like its clean i swear and lke we try to get the smell out but we literally cannot tell if it works or not bc were just used to it#JOKES ASIDE i think he was starting to doubt himself about the things he thinks are true#or thinks are normal#bc asa was telling him his first two rules are super normal but he didnt realize it#so like what if dogs do smell and he just doesnt notice bc he thinks thats a normal smell?#like i think thats why he asked asa if she thinks dogs smell#like it seems like a silly thing to ask but it just read as having so much anxiety in it to me#him realizing that hes not normal his life has never been normal and hes getting insecure about it#.txt#csm#denji#cc#and automatically defaulting to something being wrong with him as the reason asa hates him not there being something wrong with her#and that there was nothing that could be done bc HE already ruined it just like he ruins everything else#like. god i felt so bad for him#he was perfectly reasonable to assume she liked him. IT WAS A PERFECTLY REASONABLE THING TO ASSUME#youre not crazy for thinking that
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begging my mom at this point to get kim in check or to kick her out i cannot keep living like this this woman is in her 40s and doesnt even know basic decency
#like i hate that she (my mom) isnt taking my complaints as seriously as she should..#like girl stop being nice shes not respecting our living space. the carpet and my bed are ruined. she lets her dog piss and shit wherever#and never really makes an effort to teach him to fucking stop even though its gross and NOT HER HOUSE#her dogs eat OUR dog food and one of them (and baxter admittedly but hers is Worse) eats SOPHIES food like#GET YOUR DOGS IN CHECK. WOMAN. YOU DO NOT PAY RENT HERE. LITERALLY#i think my mom said she only got 50 for the entire month even though they both agreed on 250..... l o l
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Homemaking, gardening, and self-sufficiency resources that won't radicalize you into a hate group
It seems like self-sufficiency and homemaking skills are blowing up right now. With the COVID-19 pandemic and the current economic crisis, a lot of folks, especially young people, are looking to develop skills that will help them be a little bit less dependent on our consumerist economy. And I think that's generally a good thing. I think more of us should know how to cook a meal from scratch, grow our own vegetables, and mend our own clothes. Those are good skills to have.
Unfortunately, these "self-sufficiency" skills are often used as a recruiting tactic by white supremacists, TERFs, and other hate groups. They become a way to reconnect to or relive the "good old days," a romanticized (false) past before modern society and civil rights. And for a lot of people, these skills are inseparably connected to their politics and may even be used as a tool to indoctrinate new people.
In the spirit of building safe communities, here's a complete list of the safe resources I've found for learning homemaking, gardening, and related skills. Safe for me means queer- and trans-friendly, inclusive of different races and cultures, does not contain Christian preaching, and does not contain white supremacist or TERF dog whistles.
Homemaking/Housekeeping/Caring for your home:
Making It by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen [book] (The big crunchy household DIY book; includes every level of self-sufficiency from making your own toothpaste and laundry soap to setting up raised beds to butchering a chicken. Authors are explicitly left-leaning.)
Safe and Sound: A Renter-Friendly Guide to Home Repair by Mercury Stardust [book] (A guide to simple home repair tasks, written with rentals in mind; very compassionate and accessible language.)
How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis [book] (The book about cleaning and housework for people who get overwhelmed by cleaning and housework, based on the premise that messiness is not a moral failing; disability and neurodivergence friendly; genuinely changed how I approach cleaning tasks.)
Gardening
Rebel Gardening by Alessandro Vitale [book] (Really great introduction to urban gardening; explicitly discusses renter-friendly garden designs in small spaces; lots of DIY solutions using recycled materials; note that the author lives in England, so check if plants are invasive in your area before putting them in the ground.)
Country/Rural Living:
Woodsqueer by Gretchen Legler [book] (Memoir of a lesbian who lives and works on a rural farm in Maine with her wife; does a good job of showing what it's like to be queer in a rural space; CW for mentions of domestic violence, infidelity/cheating, and internalized homophobia)
"Debunking the Off-Grid Fantasy" by Maggie Mae Fish [video essay] (Deconstructs the off-grid lifestyle and the myth of self-reliance)
Sewing/Mending:
Annika Victoria [YouTube channel] (No longer active, but their videos are still a great resource for anyone learning to sew; check out the beginner project playlist to start. This is where I learned a lot of what I know about sewing.)
Make, Sew, and Mend by Bernadette Banner [book] (A very thorough written introduction to hand-sewing, written by a clothing historian; lots of fun garment history facts; explicitly inclusive of BIPOC, queer, and trans sewists.)
Sustainability/Land Stewardship
Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer [book] (Most of you have probably already read this one or had it recommended to you, but it really is that good; excellent example of how traditional animist beliefs -- in this case, indigenous American beliefs -- can exist in healthy symbiosis with science; more philosophy than how-to, but a great foundational resource.)
Wild Witchcraft by Rebecca Beyer [book] (This one is for my fellow witches; one of my favorite witchcraft books, and an excellent example of a place-based practice deeply rooted in the land.)
Avoiding the "Crunchy to Alt Right Pipeline"
Note: the "crunchy to alt-right pipeline" is a term used to describe how white supremacists and other far right groups use "crunchy" spaces (i.e., spaces dedicated to farming, homemaking, alternative medicine, simple living/slow living, etc.) to recruit and indoctrinate people into their movements. Knowing how this recruitment works can help you recognize it when you do encounter it and avoid being influenced by it.
"The Crunchy-to-Alt-Right Pipeline" by Kathleen Belew [magazine article] (Good, short introduction to this issue and its history.)
Sisters in Hate by Seyward Darby (I feel like I need to give a content warning: this book contains explicit descriptions of racism, white supremacy, and Neo Nazis, and it's a very difficult read, but it really is a great, in-depth breakdown of the role women play in the alt-right; also explicitly addresses the crunchy to alt-right pipeline.)
These are just the resources I've personally found helpful, so if anyone else has any they want to add, please, please do!
#homemaking#homemaking resources#gardening#urban gardening#self sufficiency#self sufficient living#sustainability#sustainable living#homesteading#nontrad homemaker#nontrad housewife#urban homesteading#solarpunk#cottagecore#kitchen witch#kitchen witchcraft#crunchy to alt right pipeline#book rec#book recommendations#resource#long post#mine#racism tw#racism mention#transphobia tw#transphobia mention
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how can some people be so heartless lol
#rant cw#death tw#dl#some ppl on twt/tt saying my state deserves what's happening rn bc SOME people from here are the scum of the earth#and have said rlly racist stuff about ppl from other states#girlie i can guarantee you most of the people who say that kinda shit are not being affected as much as the rest of us rn#bc most of them are RICH and either live in safer areas or have the money to evacuate to a much better place#you're gonna watch a video of a dude that was rescuing children and he was crying while talking about how one of the kids he rescued#asked him to pick up a doll she saw floating on the water and when he looked at it he realized it was actually the body a dead baby#and you're gonna be like yeah. that BABY deserved to drown bc some rich entitled right-winged piece of shit was racist on the internet??#i know a lot of people from here are horrible and trust me we're the ones who hate them the most#but to get to the point where people are having to post PROOF that most of us are not right-winged racists that flirt with nazism#just to convince people to have some damn empathy.......#literally 90% of my town is underwater. there are some areas where you couldn't even see the roofs of the houses anymore#i most likely lost everything i owned except for the things i could pack up and bring with me#and there are people who are in much worse situations than me bc at least i have where to stay#some people don't even have that bc their families were also affected#i've been crying literally every night bc of everything that's been going on despite knowing how privileged i am just for being safe rn#last night i spent a whole hour just crying bc i'm pretty sure our dogs died#and then i open twitter/tiktok and see some asshole going ''yeah. they deserve it''??? fuck you i hope you go to hell
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i think i should legally be allowed to kill people who let their dogs bark 24/7, fuck you and your stupid dog
#literally so many people where i live just let their dogs bark super fucking loudly at night i'm so fucking tired of hearing it#this is why i hate dogs#bitches are always like 'oh dogs are so wonderful!' YOU'RE INSANE#at least cats don't fucking like scream any time a person just walks by our house#and don't even get me STARTED on people who don't train their dogs and just let the dogs 'greet you'#like NO I DON'T WANT TO MEET YOUR STUPID SCARY DOG#if you let your dog jump up on me i hate you go fuck yourself#bee shouts
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Maybe I should start yanking my dads nose when he’s mansplaining the way he does to my dog when she’s barking because she’s scared
#she’s scared of people coming into our house#cause she’s shy towards strangers#and then my dad does this sometimes#and it makes her more scared#so she barks more#and so it doesn’t even help#he needs to fuck the hell off#and leave my dog alone#how would you feel if someone 6x your size started yanking at your face when you’re already scared#anyway#I love my dad but in moments like these I really really hate him#I mean she doesn’t bark at me and my mom cause she’s not scared of us#but she literally barks at everyone else#including my dad#who I live with#so she sees him everyday#but she still barks at him
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happy new year
#always pissed off at the ppl in my neighbourhood who shoot fireworks (full stop. ok actually -) AT our house#fuck off. we live at the very edge of town just go out in the fields instead#not to begin this year on a hostile note but. it always grinds my gears i hate fireworks and so does my dogs#anyway lets hope for happiness and health in 2024#health. good health. please
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