#lady bugs have made a visit or two before but i dont mind that

[shmingleping]

Ok but why is it that I can't go even one fucking day in this house without seeing at least one spider all up in my stuff??

It's not just gross, it's horrifying. I'm incredibly arachnophobic, just thinking about it makes me itchy and uncomfortable. BLEH.

WHY WONT THEY FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE ?!?!?

[clown-bait]

Monster Family (Monster Roommate AU) CH5

Getting this part moving along before IT CH2 comes out. Leech is not a happy camper right now and Pennywise is in huge trouble. Protip: Don’t let the clown drink.

Pennywise stumbled back and howled in pain as leech stomped forward grabbing the other woman with a horrible shriek that could shatter glass. “Get you face off my clown bitch!” she hissed rearing a clawed hand behind her in striking position. The woman in question threw a pouch that burst into black smoke against the vampires face and trotted off leaving the couple to sort out the mistake.

"Who hit me?!" The eldritch snarled and swayed.

"I did you idiot!"

The clown groaned "Too many Peachies foul poison playing tricks."

"There's just one of me here jackass." The vampire spat and grabbed her mate by the ruff causing him to stumble.

"Hey Fangs when you get a minute we have good news and bad news!" Freddy called out to his friends and the vampires skeletal face hissed at him in warning.

"Oopssss?" The eldritch choked out trying to smile despite the claws now digging into his neck ruff.

"Yeah fucking oops! This is a big fuckin oops Pen!"

"L-love y-you?"

Leech's eye twitched before releasing him. The clown was still very cross faded and beating the deadlights out of him wouldn't really accomplish much at this point.

"I'm not happy." She huffed as she dragged him to a booth and away from the staring eyes of her fellow fiends.

"Mistkate." He snarled and fixed his ruff. "I made a mistake."

"You also owe me a crockpot." Leech mumbled as she carefully sat down hand on their trilling offspring who enjoyed the thrum of the bass from the speakers around them.

"Actually I won that back for ya! You lost the first round though." Freddy called to her holding up the coveted cookware. "You owe me big Fangs this thing is nice!"

“And now I owe the devil a favor fantastic.”

Pennywise's eyes went wide as he stared at her bump. "Peachy you're pregnant?!"

The vampire turned to her two companions "You let him drink more while I was playing didn't you."

"Hey he was just grabbing any colorful drink he saw! You try controlling a 6 foot murder machine like that"

"Did I...did I do this?" The clown chittered leaning over her stomach and poking it.

"Congrats again baby daddy." The vampire sighed and slumped back in her booth.

Pennywise swayed and stumbled a bit the room swam when he remembered all the events from the past few months. Then he stopped and turned to throw up into an ice bucket containing a very nice champagne bottle.

"JINGLES!" Chucky and Freddy shouted at once.

The clown made a face of disgust his long black tongue rolling out of his mouth. Before anyone could stop him he grabbed the bottle and chugged it down wiping his chin. The trio stared in disbelief.

"So did everyone believe that time?" Leech asked quietly. To which she got two nods. "Fuck."

"IS THIS A JOKE?" Someone shouted upon receiving the bucket of clown sick.

"Shit give me him." Leech hissed.

The vampire grabbed her dizzy mate and searched for his pantaloons for his pockets the clown made a husky growl groping at her rear.

"Oh! Well look at you tasty little treat what cha lookin for in ol Pennywise's pants hmm?"

"That wallet you perv, we need to pay off that champagne before I get banned from here….again."

"Suree it's not something else?" The drunk eldritch growled and groped her breast causing it to leak a bit. Leech snarled and swatted his hand causing the clown to actually yelp in pain.

"Uhh Fangs your tit is bleeding." Chucky winced at the dark patch of red on her shirt.

"Yeah it does that now." She growled and tossed her friends her boss' wallet.

"That’s….not normal?"

The vampire rolled her eyes and grabbed her clown's cheeks causing a spittle of drool to fall from his mouth as she turned his head. "Yeah dont expect normal when this is the father."

"Meee?" The clown giggled and grinned from ear to ear then hiccuped violently giggling some more.

It was hard to be furious with him when he genuinely didn't even know where he was and was a bouncing mess. Leech sighed to herself wishing she could be giggling with him. At least it would help her block out the image of the love of her life kissing some random witch out of her mind. Leech slumped back and rested her wrist on her forehead.

"Krueger move we're gonna take care of that ruined bottle service." Chucky nodded at his undead companion

"I just sat down I'm not movin for shit."

The doll growled and slapped the back of his head. "Move you idiot." He mumbled out through gritted teeth gesturing to their emotionally drained friend.

"What?"

"My god you're clueless give the chick and her moron some space." The doll kicked his companion till they were out of the booth "You get ten minutes Jingles. Fix it."

The clown blinked in confusion then turned to his mate noticing the very uncomfortable gap between them. "Peachy? Are you still mad?"

"What do you think?"

Pennywise giggled and slowly leaned past the gap letting gravity pull his massive head down till it bumped with hers. He then chuckled wildly with his big buck teeth sticking out over his lips. It was frankly adorable but Leech could still smell the woman he'd mistaken for her on his skin and she scowled instead.

"You're verry pretty! Pretty eyes, pretty skin, big pretty ears hehe!"

"That's not gonna work"

The clown slumped to the side dramatically and leech shifted her glare to the side refusing to look at him. Pennywise was relentless in his pursuit ever the hunter he was not giving up. His finger slowly inched toward her poking her nose and making a honking sound when he did. His vampire hissed and snapped at him in response. He snarled back at her and limply swatted in her direction falling forward over the table and growling in frustration. Leech finally found herself smiling at that. Her mate is a complete mess when drunk but he was definitely her mess. "Mmph" he groaned and twisted his spine so he was now facing the ceiling.

"Pen what are you doing?"

"Trying to get to you." He growled continuing to tie himself in knots until he felt a cool hand on his cheek. The clown stopped his fighting and melted to her touch that soothed his skin that was warm with drink.

"You're a full on disaster." Leech sighed and kissed his forehead. The clown instantly unfolded and shook then stared at her with a wide victorious grin on his face.

"You still have to make it up to me." The vampire crossed her arms over her chest but was quickly grabbed by her mate and hastily pulled from her seat.

"Pennywise where the hell are you taking-" Leech began to scold him but his grip was strong and the crowd of people on the dance floor was large. Somewhere in the mess of lumbering masked killers she no longer felt the warm soft glove on her wrist. Great she had lost her idiot again. The small vampire shoved her way through the other towering members of the crowd looking for a tuft of fiery hair that rose above the sea of gray and rot. A warm gentle hand touched her shoulder and a strangers raspy deep voice calmly asked her "You alright little lady? Not the best place to be lost." She turned to the unfamiliar person he reminded her a bit of a middle aged Johnny Cash with peppered gray hair and crystal blue eyes. "Well that's quite a cargo you're carrying miss why don't you come sit down."

"Im actually looking for my uh baby daddy. He had a bit too much and tried to dance with me until we got separated." Leech sighed and eyed the stranger wearily as he sat down. "I haven’t seen you here before who are you? Demon? Witch?"

The man chuckled and sipped a half full beer. "Just an old blues man here to visit a very old friend."

"..I...I should find my idiot."

"Sweetheart you put too much stress on that bun in your oven have a seat an' tell me what that boy looks like. I'll drag him back here by his ear."

Leech narrowed her eyes "You sure about that? He's the boogie man of Derry."

"You don’t say? So the critter has a heart after all! Who knew!" The man laughed "How did a pretty thing like you end up with a nasty bug like that?"

“He can be charming if he wants to.” The vampire chided as she cautiously sat down. It did feel better to be off her feet. Her body was strong but carrying eldritch half breeds take a lot out of a girl even an undead one. "Alright this is a bit better. Gotta love my shitty friends for ditching me."

"Don't expect the company here to look out for you." The man chuckled "I take it a little lady like you ain't that type either."

"Yeah I'm post deceased." Leech smiled removed her wig and pointed to her ears "Nosferatu. You?"

"Like I said just an old sinner passin through."

"Fair enough." Leech sighed and glanced to her left at the beaten guitar case "There a guitar in here?"

"What kinda blues man would I be if there weren't?"

"I just started playing again myself." She smiled "Not any good yet but I can do a bit of Zeppelin."

The man smiled and took another sip of his beer "So tell me darlin bout that nasty bug of your’s."

"Well truth be told I’m mad at him...he accidentally kissed another woman with the same hairstyle as me."

"Haha! Can't say I haven't been there myself! Has he ever drank? I admit I don't know much about him other than the whispers."

"It’s mostly my fault. I’d say we’re even now anyway." Leech smiled "I broke his nose."

They both laughed at that.

"FANGS!"

Leech's ears perked up at the sound of Chucky's voice then turned to the stranger. "That’s uh my friend I think I need to go."

"Go on darlin set things right with your nasty bug, he'll come around. I gotta set up cross the street soon anyway." The stranger patted his guitar case and raised his beer. "You take good care of yourself and them little ones."

Leech slowly got up and began to walk into the crowd looking back to wave but the man was gone. A sudden hand on her wrist startled her and Freddy found his throat in Leech's claws.

"JESUS FANGS ITS ME! Also who the fuck was that? Never mind, we uh probably should get out of here Jingles stole a designer lamp."

".....Why?"

"No idea.Think he's proposed to it three times now."

"I'm not getting banned from here again. Where is he?" She sighed and the dream demon pulled her along through the gathered crowd. Sure enough there he was the Monster of Derry himself declaring his undying love to a lampshade.

"Peachy, darling, my queen! Eternally mine! The deadlights hum only for you!" the clown twirled dangerously while trying to dance with the fancy appliance. He was clearly black-out drunk at this point and Leech was genuinely surprised that he hadn't fallen over.

"Hey Fred, please tell me you've recorded this."

"You kiddin?! I've already sent it to you."

"This is why we're friends." She smiled and patted his shoulder. Leech strode forward and pushed the appliance out of her mate's hands "That was a lamp Pen."

The clown blinked clearly blitzed out of his mind then fell back giggling and drooling.

"Oh." He chuckled. "Hi Peachy."

“Do you want to say something to me?”

“S-sorry.” he stuttered still grinning like an idiot.

"I think you've humiliated yourself enough tonight Ruffles." She sighed and pet his fluffy orange hair "I'll forgive you if you forgive me tomorrow when you inevitably try to kill me for the hangover." The clown nodded vigorously shaking his bells as he did. Her lips touched his softly and Pennywise sighed in ecstasy deepening the kiss. He was all teeth and drool but Leech didn't mind his sloppy drool filled kisses were her favorite anyway. "Wanna get out of here?" she breathed quietly as the crowd of people quickly began to leave in mild disgust.

Her clown smiled wide and grabbed his mate vanishing in a jingle of bells before anyone could protest. Leaving their two companions without a ride and a very heavy crockpot.

[lilragekitten]

I just need to vent because I honestly just kinda want to scream into the void, but I also don’t want to bug anyone with all my shit so it’ll all be below a read more. It probably won’t be pretty or thought out well but I just wanna get it off my chest/mind whatever. Thanks :)

So last friday at work I had my mom’s power of attorney, who is also one of her volunteer caregivers, and don;t even get me started on the bullshit that that is, jfc, show up and tell me that she’s concerned about my moms health and that apparently mom wants to go into a nursing home. Well one day she does and then the next day she doesn’t. Mom has super bad memory problems, maybe settling dementia, idk, but like it’s bad, and since dad died (2008) I’m honeslty super surprised she’s still alive. Anyways, this lady gives me a letter that basically says that mom wants me to have the house if/when she gets in teh home, she’d like to stay through the summer, but her, the lawyer and the nursing homes doctor need me to ‘help’ them talk to mom and im just like????

Noone ever tried to contact me previous to this. Well she did a few years ago when mom went to the hospital and then shes like , AGAIN, while IM AT WORK, on teh phone, “Your mother is in hospital and as her POA and I just lost it because I have no idea who this lady is?? and then I find out shes a caretaker, which aren’t supposed to be given power over clients? but for some reaosn this is all OK??? But mom downplayed me visiting her, at this time I was calling like two-three times a week, and visiting in person once a week, but when I was sick, or working nightshift I wouldn’t go bc I didnt want her to get sick and I was tired dammit. I lost it a bit at mom like why would you let this stranger be POA and shes like “This way she’ll be my friend” and isnt that the saddest shit ever. She’d been a stay at home housewife for DECADES at this point, she never learned anything really because I don’t think she ever finished elementary school, like basic math she could do but yeah. 

So this lady is standing in front of me saying she’s not the enemy and wants what’s best for my mom which is all I want too. I love her, but I dont like her a lot of the time. but I still care about her. And she tells me shes just there for moms ‘best interest’ and that my sis and I will be co executors of teh will and I just start laughing. because that wont go over well AT ALL. I can probs count on one hand how often she’s called om since the funeral. She hasnt been by to visit since either. I personally haven’t spoken to her in two years? I think she sent me a FB bday message? I’m just done really. like, we have unlimited texting, she can call, text, fb.. etc but nothing after like two years of me initating all first contact and it just gets exhausting you know? So I take the letter and I say that that’ll be interesting and that she’ll put p a fight over me getting teh house bc her plan (told to me YEARS ago) was that she’d move back here, take the house, we’d live togetehr and she’d charge me 1000$ a month rent for my room. The mortagage has been paid of since 2006? maybe before?? so NO REAOSN for that much. taxes yearly are under 4G? I think. And monthly bills under 400$. The lady asks if she should’ve sent my sis a letter and I say ‘either way you’re screwed bc if you do she’ll freak out and if you dont she’ll freak out” liek no winnning so i dont know if she wl or not.

I have a meeting with the lawyers, and doctor on Tuesday and since Friday I have just been this incredible stress ball? I’m shaking and throwing up, I try to eat and I get so naseous and I can’t sleep and my attention is shot and I am a Mess. 

I can;t afford a lawyer, and a week really isnt a lot of time, well actually four days to find one, and I just... I am tired guys. I don;t know what to do I just wann cry. 

The letter basically said that when mom moves out, that I can rent the property from her until her passing for 1$ a month, plus paying all teh bill and taxes which - 450-500 a month (which seems fake but okay) and that the property taxes will be paid out through her account until then as well. After she dies, what happens to the house is up to my sis and I as her will people. 

I love my apartment for teh most part. I’d love to have the house though, bc there;s no way I will ever be able to buy my own at this point. Moving in would save me liek 5-600$ a month which I could desperatly use to pay off my debt. but I’ve been living on my own since 2009 and I have enough stuff to FILL a three bedroom apartment, and moms house is FULL of all her shit, and my shit LOL, so I need to rent a storage locker I guess??? 

I’m just so confused and I don’t know what to do or even start and I don’t qualify for free legal aid bc I made liek 5G too much last year(still under 24G though so like??? thanks?? Part ofme wants my sis to come in and just rent the house out and then afterwards she can buy me out but she doesnt have the credit for a full on mortgage, do like a rent to own on my half of the cost, but neither one of us has teh money for a downpayment which UGH. 

I’m just so very very tired and stressed.