#i hate my life the way it is now. i’m so stuck in this rut and i’m so scared i’ll never escape

[ddaengju]

i’m in that delusional phase again where i look up tiny apartments in manhattan and daydream about what my daily life would be living there.

[daisyvisions]

Between the Lines - (c.ch)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: roommate!Chanhee x afab!reader

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: In which Chanhee finds a book on your bed as he goes inside your bedroom. And what he finds inside the book sparks something deep within his soul that he HAS to confront you about it.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 2.1K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), enemies to lovers (implied), mean!Chanhee (but secretly sweet), fingering, edging, hair pulling, marking, rough sex, unprotected sex (but he pulls out), calls reader princess a lot (but says slut once), brief aftercare, some manhandling if you squint. Mentions of making out and being watched. A very whiney Younghoon makes an appearance. Proofread twice. Let me know if I missed anything! Bolded lines were smut prompts used from this list.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: My late birthday gift to my lovely moot @ilovechanhee and a treat for all the Chanhee stans! Been so stuck in a rut but thank god I found the inspiration and motivation to write this out. Something different but was totally fun to write! (wow look at that, a fic that doesn’t involve creampies hahah)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network & Tag: @deoboyznet

You never should've said yes. Especially when Younghoon was on his knees begging for his life like he’d never done before.

“Please let him stay…” Younghoon looks up at you as he hugs your legs.

“And what makes you think I want him here?!” You try to push him away.

“Just give him a few months and he’ll be out of here in no time.”

“The answer is no-” You try to wiggle your way out of Younghoon’s embrace but his arms wrap around your legs tighter, nearly making you trip over him.

“He has nowhere else to go. Please he’s my friend!”

“And I’m also your friend! And I said no!”

“He’ll stay in my room the entire time and I'll tell him to be out of your way I swear! Please let him stay with us…” He pleads like his life depended on it.

You’ve never heard Younghoon sound like this, not even when he’s drunk out of his mind (which you’ve witnessed quite often). But when he’s looking up at you with those cute baby boy eyes, how could you say no?

And that’s how you ended up becoming roommates with the person you hate the most in this world… Choi Chanhee.

Contrary to what everyone believes, there was a time where you did like actually Chanhee. A time wherein you wanted become his friend. But it seemed like every time you tried to interact with Chanhee, he wanted nothing to do with you.

Always giving you the cold shoulder, rolling his eyes, making snarky remarks, and etc. That’s how the whole rift between you two started.

Every hangout you guys would have, you two would never stop bickering. It was annoying to everyone at first but eventually it became background noise. Just letting you two argue it out until you both started getting tired.

Arguments between you and Chanhee would get incredibly heated especially when he was invited to come over to the apartment that you shared with Younghoon.

He would just come barging in your room unannounced just to annoy the living shit out of you. Commenting about your boring life since you’re cooped up in your room all day or whatever pajamas you decided to wear that night were worn “just for him”.

Even when you’d walk into the kitchen to get some water you could feel his stare burning right through you as he slowly ate whatever snack he had in his hand. The way his smirk would make you feel something weird bubbling in your stomach. But you would push down that feeling deep within and continue to ignore him as he kept on staring.

“C’mon princess, don’t act like you hate having me here…” Chanhee would tease. And on cue, you’d roll your eyes at him and talk back before walking back to your room.

It was already bad enough that this was the usual routine you two had with one another while he was a guest in your home. But to have him as roommate for nine months? It was going to drive you to the point of insanity.

You should’ve never fell for Younghoon’s pleading eyes. Because now everything Chanhee did to annoy you was a hundred times worse than you could ever imagine.

Hogging the shower when he knew you’d be late for work. Waking you up way too early when he’d blast his music as he was cooking. Seeing him make out with some stranger on the couch as you got home, keeping his gaze on you as his neck was being kissed.

The list goes on.

You started hating him more and more as each day passed, wishing he would just leave you alone. However, a part of you secretly liked the way he would give you some sort of attention. Even if it was the kind of attention that made your head ache, it was still better than nothing right?

But you would rather drown in a lake than admit that to anyone… especially to him.

“Y/n! Your turn to use the washing machine! Hurry up already!” Chanhee calls for you from the living room. He lets out a big sigh before making his way into your room, wondering what the hell was taking you so long to respond to him.

As soon as he swings your door open, he doesn’t find you in your usual spot on the bed. He does notice however, the book you’ve been reading during the past few days lying open. He walks towards the book, grabbing it to see what had been so special about it.

You do nothing but stick your nose into the pages, so hyper focused on the story that you don’t even pay attention to him like you usually do (which would make him huff out of frustration.)

“Fucking nerd.” Chanhee mumbles to himself as he inspects the book cover before reading into the page you had stopped on.

As he carefully reads each sentence, his eyes grow wider and a smirk starts to form on his lips. His smile slowly becoming similar to that of the Grinch during Christmas.

“Oh she is so dead.”

You turn the shower knob off before stepping out, grabbing your towel to wipe off a few extra drops of water on your body and squeezing the water out of your hair before you wrap the towel around your body.

As you make your way back to your room, you yelp in surprise. Clutching onto your towel from unfastening as you see Chanhee sitting at the edge of your bed reading the book that you left behind.

Oh god… the book.

“I gotta say princess… you keep on finding ways to surprise me.” Chanhee smiles while his eyes stay glued on the page he’s reading.

You walk quickly towards the edge of your bed, one hand still clutching onto your towel as your free hand attempts to reach out for the book in Chanhee’s hands.

“Give that back!” You exclaim.

But Chanhee’s movements are much faster than yours. He holds the book far away from your reach, holding your waist with one hand while you inserted yourself between his legs and attempted to grab the book.

“Not so fast now, I was getting to the part where the knight takes the princess against the wall of a hallway.”

‘We can’t. Someone might see us.’ the princess gasps.

‘And what if I want them to see us?’ The knight inserts his thigh between her legs, pinning her wrists above her head as he leaves tender kisses on her neck.

‘Let them see how good I make you feel’ He whispers into her mouth.

Your cheeks turn bright red as Chanhee reads the excerpt from your book out loud.

“Chanhee, please!” You tip-toe to try and reach for the book.

“Fuck- Can’t believe this is the kind of stuff you read. Who would’ve known you’d be such a dirty little thing?” He looks up and smiles at you.

“Chanhee I swear to god if you don’t give me my book back and get out of this room I’ll-ah!”

You squeal as Chanhee pulls your wrist towards him, accidentally landing on his lap before he quickly flips you under his figure. He grips your wrists and pins them onto the mattress, the book way beyond your reach now.

“And you’ll do what? Hm? Gonna make me fuck you like the characters in your porno book?” He raises his eyebrow.

“Huh? No! That’s not what I-”

“Because that’s exactly what I want to do to you…” He looks at you dead in the eye. His eyes blown out and full of lust.

“What?” Your eyes widen. Did he really just say that to you?

“Not gonna lie princess, I’ve thought about this moment for so long.” Chanhee lowers his head, lightly brushing his lips against your cheek before whispering in your ear,

“You drive me so insane, you don’t even know.”

You feel your spine shiver with how his voice deepens one octave lower. Feeling your core slowly dampen as you clench your thighs together. And Chanhee notices your movements too.

He slightly pulls his head away, the tip of his nose lightly kissing yours. His breath fanning against your lips in the process.

“How about we make those scenes in your book come to life?”

“C’mon now, beg for it princess.” Chanhee taunts. He had been pumping his long fingers inside you for what felt like hours. His lips leaving marks all over your breasts as you sweetly moan for him.

Every time you’d get closer to the edge, he would immediately pulls his fingers out of your wet hole. Tears would form at the corners of your eyes every time he would deprive you of your sweet release.

“I-ah! I have been begging! Please Chanhee-” You whine out.

You feel your orgasm fast approaching as your walls tighten around his fingers once more.

“You want to cum?”

“Y-yes, I— please—”

“Hm, but do you really deserve to?”

“Please, I’ve been good. Really good! Please- wanna cum so bad!” You desperately beg.

“Yeah? Want your greedy cunt cumming all over my fingers?” Chanhee asks as he vigorously pumps his digits inside you. You nod your head rapidly in response, feeling your orgasm just teetering at the edge.

But before you’re about to let go, he pulls his fingers out of you.

“No! Wait-” You cry out.

“Shh…” Chanhee presses his wet finger against your lips. “Want you to cum around my cock instead.”

Before you can even respond he flips you onto your stomach, spreading your legs apart as he inserts himself between. He hastily pulls out his aching member from his boxers and aligns himself against your wet pussy before pushing his entire length inside you.

“Holy shit- you’re way tighter than I thought you’d be-” Chanhee groans as he pulls your hair and begins to rapidly pound himself into you.

You want to tell him to fuck you harder, but all the words die in your throat as you start to babble out incoherent sounds instead. You mind becoming foggy from all the edging earlier and the way his cock drags inside your velvety walls.

Chanhee pushes your face into the mattress, pressing his entire weight on top of you to lock you in place.

“Keep it down. You wouldn’t want our dear roommate finding out about what I’m doing to you right? Or are you such a slut you’d let him watch me fuck you til you can’t walk?”

You let out a whined moan, shaking your head instead of giving him a proper answer.

“Good. Now cum for me princess!”

And like clockwork you do. Gushing all over his member as you moan into your mattress, muffling the lewd sounds coming out of your mouth as much as possible. Chanhee follows after you, quickly pulling out and shooting his load all over your back as he deeply grunts.

You feel like you're floating on a cloud as the pleasure slowly subsides. Trying to catch your breath as you try to calm your senses from feeling too overwhelmed by everything that had happened tonight.

But you’re suddenly pulled out of your trance as soon as you feel sensitive from your core being wiped with a warm towel. Chanhee continues to wipe away his spend on your back and slowly flip you onto your back and wrap your towel around your body again.

“You okay?” Chanhee checks on you as he brushes the loose hair from your face.

“Yeah, I think so. T-thank you by the way…” You awkwardly reply.

Chanhee chuckles, amused by how cute you’ve become again even after he fucked your brains out just moments ago. You watch him as he adjust his clothes, your eyebrows knitting in confusion as you see him making his way to the door.

“W-where are you going?” You innocently ask.

Chanhee turns around and smiles at the way you pout. He walks back to you and leans down to give you a soft kiss on your lips.

“Gotta continue with the chores princess. Some of us actually do our chores remember?” He smiles, playfully teasing you.

He walks back to the door, before he completely heads out of your room his head pops back in,

“And by the way, if you ever need to reenact more scenes… I’m just a few feet away.”

[fantastical-euphoria]

i found my older brother sam outside one night, having a smoke out back.

just seeing him with his ratty hair down, swaying slightly in the breeze, the light of the match, the gentle puff of smoke, even the smell, brought me such strange comfort.

“what have you been doing?” he asked me as i sat next to him on the step.

“listening to sad music,” i shrugged. “couldn’t handle it anymore so, i came out here.”

sam instantly shook his head. “kris, you can’t do that.”

i laughed slightly, “why not?”

“because,” he turned to me, a serious look in his eyes and even moreso in the inflection in his tone, “that makes you want to cry. and i told you never to cry in front of me.”

“i know,” i nodded. “why did you say that?”

“because… it makes me worry. a lot. and it drives me to fall back into old habits when i get upset like that…” he sighed. “i had a dream last night where i got admitted back to rehab. a third time. only this time…” he swallowed hard. “i didn’t make it.”

“sammy, no…”

he nodded. “i hated dreaming about it. i actually woke up from it, and i started pacing around the room. i was so panicked. you know my biggest fear is, is killing myself, for some… some stupid reason. like drugs. alcohol. narcotics. i can’t… i can’t slip back. i’m too afraid to. yet i know i’m perfectly capable. and that’s what’s scary to me…” he hung his head down, shaking slightly, kind of wrapping his arms around himself in a way. like he was trying to protect himself, but it just didn’t have the same impact.

“sammy,” i rubbed his back, in an effort to console, “there’s lots of things that i like about you. like…” i thought for a minute. “i think you have a pretty smile. please don’t ever mess it up.” i pointed to the cigarette. “those can do that.”

he looked back over at me, chuckling slightly. “y’know i’ll never kick this old habit. dirty old thing.” he took one puff of it and snuffed it out, tossing it aside before putting an arm around me. “y’know what i’d rather be, above anything else, before anything else. i want to be present. i want to be in your life. around you. spending all the time i have with you. having fun with you. enjoying the world with you, and life itself.”

“i know,” i leaned into his side embrace. “i worry about you tons. but i know that you’re doing okay. and i know you’re trying hard to live a normal life, as a non-addict. you’re trying to find distractions.” i pointed to the moon. “like that.” i turned to him. “isn’t it pretty?”

he smiled wide and nodded, the light from it casting a shiny reflection over his eyes. “i wish i could take a good picture of it, and not have it be this fuzzy white speck in this sea of darkness.”

“it sucks,” i agreed. “well, i’m just trying to think of other things we can do.” i smiled. “i like going to art museums. i wanna make you appreciate real art. not just what you think is art.”

“what i think is art?” he echoed with a lighthearted cadence. “c’mon, the original streetfighter is nothing short of a masterpiece. 21 jump street? beverly hills cop? those are *cinema.* seriously.” he empathized his points with dramatic hand gestures.

i rolled my eyes as i laughed at his obliviousness. “maybe you watch them a bit too much.”

he shrugged. “maybe i do. i’m stuck in the rut known as the 80’s, what can i say.”

“does henry like watching those movies?” i asked.

“sometimes. when he’s here,” sam pointed to the ground. “but he’s just too busy with work and such to be concerned with leisure right now.” he pulled open his phone and tapped open the text thread he had with him. “see, i wish i had it like he did. it’s so easy to take your mind off of what’s troubling you when you actually have something to serve that purpose.” he shook his head. “and right now, i don’t, so… it’s harder for me to…”

suddenly a flash of lightning caught our sight stemming from our right. it was heat lightning, too far away to really affect us.

“white lightning,” sam mused, nodding over that direction. “wouldn’t that be such a cool stage name?”

“it really would,” i nodded in agreement.

sometimes, if it was warm enough, we slept outside, laying in the grass, pretending the backyard was a giant mattress, as ticklish to our skin as it was. sam would always take off his hoodie and lend it to me so i could use it as a pillow.

“what about your pillow?” i asked him. “wont laying on the cold hard ground hurt your neck?”

“nah,” he shook his head, “i’m too beat to feel uncomfortable in any form.”

i’d still worry, though, cause that’s just the type of person i was.

i hated to think how a brain like his that was constantly overthinking was able to stabilize for the evening and settle for the night, pretending there was nothing but an empty space up there.

i wasn’t good at pretending. i always had the tendency to show my true colors. which sometimes came out in the rawest form, sometimes too powerful for me to realize. and i didn’t intend to hurt anyone, honest. especially sam, cause i knew he was a gentle soul. he loved our dogs. he loved my parents. he loved me. he didn’t want anything bad to ever happen to me, he wanted to protect me from any elements the world could throw at me. he just wanted me to be happy. not to take after him. he knew he was the worst influence on his younger siblings. with henry, it didn’t matter as much, he was only a year younger than him, old enough and smart enough to know better.

with me, well, his dirty habits were well in effect when i was a baby. i was easily convincible. i would want to look up to him, to be exactly like him.

that’s why he always distanced himself from me, in the beginning. he always wanted me to hang out with henry. the better influence. because that was really the only way he could look after me. and i bet that pained him so much.

i could remember mom saying to me, sam began to have conversations with me when i was still a fetus in her womb. he loved me before he even knew what i looked like. before he knew what my gender was.

he wasn’t the emotional type. naturally, ever time he felt something, he had this urge to conceal it. all the drug use had made him numb to most feeling, anyway.

but when i was born, he couldn’t stop looking at me with the saddest, glossed over eyes. he wanted to talk to me. to hold me. but he smelled too much of cigarettes, mom said. he had to stay back.

henry got to hold me after mom and dad did. sam couldn’t even look that way. and i had a feeling that henry wanted sam to hold me too, he kept looking over his way sadly.

i warmed up to henry first (even though holding babies was definitely not his strong suit). mom had told me once that back when my cousins were born, henry always had the shaky grip holding them, sam’s was steady and solid as a rock.

that’s where he got his protective nature from, i guess.

he was more protective of me than mom and dad ever were. henry acted more like a fun, bad-influency (the good kind) cousin to me. sam took his role as the oldest (and especially older sibling to me) perhaps a bit too seriously.

but i wouldn’t change a thing about it.

@elliotts-personal-property

[loudstan]

Oh my. Rut triggered possessive and openly affectionate Chenle vs his feministic indifferent mate. Tbh chenle seems like he’d be one of those kids who’ve developed a trauma response; like every mating situation has been dramatic and stressful with all his pack mates so he expects nothing less but when y’all meet it’s just kinda chill - which somehow freaks him out even more than if something bad had actually happened instead.

Chenle: this is the first time I’m meeting you and I’m utterly in love

Mate: aight, cool

Chenle: once we mate and I mark you, you’ll be mine

Mate: now you hold on just a second there you furless bitch…

Side note: with Chenle’s luck he’d end up with a mate who DEADASS doesn’t want kids and probably has an IUD inserted but his dumbass probably just thinks if he knots you enough maybe you’ll be so full of cum that it’ll just bypass the iud all together. He’s been challenged.

Chenle: I’ll get you pregnant if it’s the last thing I do

Mate: bet.

I feel like we’ll finally get a break thanks to Chenle’s story because there’s no angst. No secrets or miss communication. He will deadass tell his mate everything the minute he meets her. She could work part time in a coffee shop and he’ll be like “hey, I just wanted to let you know I just imprinted on you so you’re stuck with me for life. And I’ll have a caramel macchiato”

And his mate will also make it very clear she’s not impressed since the beginning. “Ok you have good taste. That would be ₩5,900. Next customer, please.”

The biggest challenge here will be to impress her or that she at least takes him seriously, but she honestly doesn’t hate the attention. She’s just busy. And tired. And Chenle has way too much energy and he spends it all on pursuing her so bless her she needs a nap asap.

And he would definitely take the ‘no children’ thing as a challenge too. He wasn’t particularly interested in having children until his mate said it wasn’t possible and now he just has to prove her wrong

[astridthevalkyrie]

tw talking ab abuse (my own but still)

stuck in this rut thinking about how when I was nine and in private school my parents came to the parent teacher conference and my social studies teacher told them i was failing in her class and i was standing there as my mom started to berate me in urdu even though it was because of how hard she made me study for religious studies that left me no time for anything else and because even when I was nine my parents didn’t help me with homework or tests and then proceeded to brag about how I never needed it by the time I graduated high school but anyways since my teacher didn’t know urdu she didn’t step in and my dad didn’t step in either because he never steps in.

then she took me to the bathroom in the school and reeled her arm back and open palm slapped me across the face a few times till my cheek was red and the beginnings of a bruise would start forming. and then she left to go argue with my dad and tell him why it was his fault that I was failing.

and my friend came into the bathroom and asked me what happened and I told her nothing because what good would telling her do and then she left and then I was in the bathroom for only a few minutes because that’s all the time i had to pull myself together before going back out there to a woman who wasn’t going to apologize and wasn’t going to change. was going to hit me again for less.

and i’m thinking about. how I’ll never get that moment back. and I’ll never get to stop it. and no one is gonna go back in time to protect me. no one is going to catch her hand before it hits me, no one is going to tell my teacher that just simply tattletaling to my parents won’t help my grades and will actively just make my life harder even though I’ll still act goofy in class and be loud and try to demand positive attention that no one else is giving me and that even then I knew the teachers wouldn’t give me either. and there is no point to talking about this now because that moment happened and a bunch of other moments like that one happened and at this point I’m only hurting myself with these fantasies where someone saved me from that but I still can’t stop fantasizing about them anyways. how even now my ideal for a romantic partner would be someone who stands up to my family for me, would step in between me and my mother and tell her that’s enough and take my hand and pull me out of the house and hug me and tell me that they want me to cry and let it out and not say it’s okay because it’s not but that they’ve got me and they’ll be there.

i’m thinking about how if I had a daughter i think i would break someone’s hand if they even tried to lay a finger on her instead of encouraging others to discipline her in any way they see fit like my mother did with me when she dropped me off to a private tutor’s house when i was five and let that tutor blame me for my mom’s depression. but i would be so terrified of having a daughter because maybe my mother has the same thought but then after she had me something changed and something about me made her reconsider. and more than that i’m afraid that no one will ever protect me and I’m afraid that i won’t protect myself.

i hate it here, i have no one to blame because everyone is a victim once I look deeper into it and it’s no one’s responsibility to save me and my experience is hardly the roughest out there but i want so badly to go back to that bathroom and hug myself and wipe my own tears. but i can’t. i can’t, and all I’m doing is sitting in a club meeting that i am going to further complicate my life by joining and competing to get the validation of someone and I don’t know who and I’m typing this out and doing my best to look like I’m not crying.

[gilverrwrites]

I feel like I'm left behind and everyone manage to accomplish things, I want to go to uni and accomplish goals, but I feel as if it's too late for me. I keep self sabotaging and I'm always afraid to start. I keep finding myself in a viscous circle where I'm afraid to start because it might be too late/the courses that will grand me admission to university may end/expire, the opinions of the professors thinking I'm unserious would be present (I already experienced this in the past during a dark period where I was also experiencing a burnout without realizing and the teachers thought I was joking and unserious. One of them comparing me with the class clown, saying that she didn't know which one of us was more like the clown. At the time, I was battling with suicidal thoughts, sleeping 3 hours at night and arriving late to almost every morning class thanks to the bus not stopping at my stop since it was way too full. I was never joking around and was previously one of the best students) and since I'm not starting I'm always anxious about it. How can I even stop this sabotage??? I'm always trying to start and do the work, but at the end of the day, end up with nothing done nor completed NOT even started. I don't know what to do anymore!

I also wish at some point to do a sport and eventually possibly going to competitions, but I'm also an adult and every one began in childhood.

So, I wanna start here by saying I am just a rando on the internet whose experiences and views are not universal. Take what I say with a grain of salt and seek out professionals if you are able to.

If your in the UK, I know the NHS wait list is long, but it’s better to get your foot in the door now, than to keep putting it off.

If you’re in the US or another country that doesn’t offer free health care, please look into volunteer services or even just betterhelp style apps that might help you find coping mechanisms.

From there. You are not the only person to feel like you’re playing catch-up with everybody else. I know it doesn’t seem that way, but I promise, so many people around you are experiencing similar thoughts and issues, and are putting on a brave face.

The best thing I can tell you is, just do it. If the course you’re applying for ends, then it ends, at least you tried. Theres nothing you can do. But what if it doesn’t, and the only thing that has stopped you, is you?

Trust me, I’ve been there. I spent 10 years working retail and hating it because I was always to scared to try uni. I dropped out of college once, and was scared I would do it again. Was worried about being to old, not knowing how to be a student, being behind everybody else, picking the wrong course.

It didn’t help that I too wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t talking to my friends or family. I was just stuck in rut until I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to apply, had to sleep better, had to start working out because it was that or just spend the rest of my life rotting away and hating myself.

It won’t be easy, and it won’t be fixed overnight, but please try talking to people. I’m here if you need it, but if you can, find real life people; friends, family who you can have face to face conversations with. If you’re an introvert, don’t burn yourself out forcing yourself to interact, but I promise just getting lunch, or going for a walk with someone once a week will go a long way.

Just focus on feeling better first, to start. Please drink water, quit caffeine if you’re drinking it, look into sleeping techniques, talk to people.

If you start to feel better, start trying to apply for things you want to do. Courses, sports groups, anything. If it takes 10 years (hopefully not) like I did, so be it, everybody moves at a different pace.

(I don’t know what sports you want to try but;

Unis often have sports societies that you can join, most of which will have a group for beginners.

If you don’t join a course this year, see if you local community groups offer anything?)

I', sorry you're feeling this way, I hope this helps in anyway, and I hope things start to look up for you.

[moidse]

Ugh

I had a dream last night where I ran into my first ex. At first I was trying to avoid them including eye contact, but then the dream switched up and became more like a shooting video game but before that part really set in I was running around a building and ran into them in a room and it was just us. I was like emotionally dumping on them and crying at one point I think. I was just talking through my feelings of just how I feel so bad about myself and just idk like I’m a shell of the person I used to be. I was saying I had more things together when I first met them… and by this I feel like I meant it felt like the world was my oyster with opportunity and I had a lot of friends and community and now I guess I feel depressed even though I am still rather young and there is still opportunity but idk I also feel depressed in that I have no friends now and I had it so much. I cut off everyone from Dayton when I moved here thinking it would make me happy when it ended up making me feel depressed. I assumed I’d make friends here and wouldn’t miss them but I’ve made like no friends here and am starting to wish I at least had long distance phone friends I can talk to. The amount of happiness I feel when I get to talk to a friend on the phone is very uplifting and refreshing. It can change my whole day and just brighten it. And then it also makes me feel kind of sad in that I only get to feel this specific friend joy about once or twice a year now and I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rut of unhappiness with my relationships and idk how to get out of it… but I think the only way out of it is changing my behavior but idk how it’s complicated.

Another thing I talked to them about was I was saying we are so old now… which I mean I can’t really do anything about. Lol. I think I just especially feel old now that I’m getting close to 30 and we live with people who are all several years younger than us so we are surrounded by younger ppl. Like in our old house I never felt this way cuz I was one of the youngest. I mean Kaiya was saying it too when we were first getting roommates they were like omg so I’m the oldest and I didn’t care but now I’m like oh yeah this is something lol.

I just know that I’m tired of feeling stuck but I also struggle with having time and capacity to work on these goals when I’m in survival mode and working to pay to be alive. It feels like I have such limited time to try to do anything else but I have to try and not give up.

I feel like I need to talk about my feelings but I’m scared— I hate feeling this way. I’ve been feeling like this for a while and it’s like the same feeling I felt when I was closeted in high school. It’s this stress I carry day to day in my stomach and I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about so I just reflect to myself and maybe reflect in my dreams.

I feel stuck in my relationship. They are my best friend and I don’t want to lose them but I also do not like how codependent we have become since moving in together and idk how to get out of that because we don’t have money to get a separate car and I don’t have the money to get a separate bed… or maybe I do from buy nothing but I would have to seriously rethink my room set up. I just don’t think I can be happy with only being with them for the rest of my life. I miss dating other people. I miss having sex with other people. I miss feeling butterfly’s.

But I’m scared of having this conversation and losing my best friend. I moved out to a city where the only person I know is them. Which unfortunately made it more difficult to have difficult conversations because I am dependent on them. When we first moved here I was fully financially dependent on them. Now I have my own income but I am dependent on them as my only friend I talk to and my only connection to other friends and if I push them away I will be truly completely isolated in a city where I have no one who cares for me which is a scary and depressing thought. The idea of moving to another place sounds really scary too and very stressful.

I love and care about them and want to take care of them but I also want to have my own space and my own friends and feel like I have my own life separate from theirs.

[potatoesandsunshine]

hi anna now i dont have a New fic ask game for u but what i CAN do is send u more from that one from like last week. 6, 12, 15, 25, 34? :)

thank u abby <3 it made me really happy to do these :) 

6. Vaguely spoil one of your fics without telling us which one it is

depressed woman decides to invent a new, sexier form of self-destruction, only to stumble into one of the oldest forms of self-destruction there is

12. What fandom do you want to write for more often?

literally any of them the writing output has not been good more video games!! i wanna write dragon age stuff i have a BUNCH of dragon age ideas and we’re at the point where i am able to overcome the Fear Of People Wanting Me To Be Lore Compliant. i’ve discovered ‘fuck it who cares’ in a real way. older games too - it was so fun writing about oblivion when i did my last playthrough, and i’ve got a skyrim idea that’s been on the backburner for about ten years so it should almost be time to write it. but also i just need to branch out from critical role; i like it so much but i get really stuck in a rut with it these days. if i had the brain space to get into a new tv show i’d even take something with that - my best friend had been trying to get me into true blood for a couple years now so maybe there’s potential in that direction. i’ve been kicking around a silly percy jackson idea after the tv series came out? i kinda just feel like tv is the way forward

15. What fic of yours would you most like to rewrite?

the one that is by far my most popular fic, revolutions in new orbit. i’m glad it makes people happy. i got a comment on it really recently from someone who still loves it! unfortunately i think it suffers from ‘wrote it in a rush four years ago’ syndrome and it is RIDDLED with things that bug me. i hate the pacing. i think the word choice is clumsy. parts that are supposed to have tension feel flat to me. there are so many FUCKING commas

25. Which fic do you think is your saddest?

probably chili, quiche, casserole, a taz amnesty fic from truly forever ago. it’s another that i see as sort of clumsy writing, but it’s literally all about sympathy meals and draws extremely heavily from my own experience with trying to support people in grief. it’s a much more real-life based fic than the couple of ‘oh this character died here’s my farewell to them’ oneshots i’ve written, and i really needed it at the time.

34. What title do you want to use, but can't figure out a story to fit?

you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff (yes from addicted to love :P i love that song sm. can we talk about the florence and the machine cover yet)

no amount of coffee, no amount of crying (from gotta have you by the weepies. can we talk about the samia cover yet)

not everyone’s got a sleeve where they can wear their heart (from riding into the sunset in a busted car by free cake for every creature)

the madness on young lovers’ lips (fast like a match) (from fast like a match by river whyless)

yes we get naked but not naked enough (from every body by thao)

as you know i love songs i love lyrics and a lot of times i hear something and think ‘that’s a title’

[shallowbreaths]

She was an artist like my mother. She was good, and I loved talking to them both about art. I’m NOT an artist! But I have learned life changing concepts from art. Such as, artists rely on shading in order to make things look real. They don’t call it shading though, it’s referred to as “value”. I had long hated my darkness, but through them I learned it’s what made me real. It’s what defined my curves and contours.

Our last conversation was rough. She was hurt and I was wrong. It’s hard communicating in a loving tone when you’re hurt, but she managed because that’s who she is. It’s hard to listen when you know you are the villain of the tale. To know that you’re just one more in a line of people that have used, hurt, and disappointed her. The guilt and shame of it… that’s a private pain that no one less than God would truly understand. That brings me to “perspective”. I thought I saw things clearly, and perhaps I did, but I was standing in a place I didn’t belong and I was focused on things I shouldn’t have been focused on. Everything else began to blur as I tried to make my bad choices seem like good ones.

That conversation was painful. It’s stuck with me, and now I look back on what I did and I shake my head and wonder what was wrong with me! I actually know now. I get it, and I’m not saying I wasn’t dead wrong because I was, but at least now I get it. Over time people get into habits and ruts and we develop narratives and beliefs, and the next thing you know, the relationship that was once great is now damaged or even broken. It happens to every relationship that isn’t diligently working on the relationship regularly. You start to feel unappreciated, or unloved, sometimes even hated or useless. Look at the sheer number of marriages that end in divorce, or the ones that don’t end but probably should have.

I was focused on the entirely wrong things. My perspective seemed to slip a couple of degrees regularly until one day I realized I was looking the entirely wrong direction. If I had ever, just once, put myself in their position and imagined what I was doing from their perspective then I suppose I never would have been able to do it without seeing I was a bad guy. This way I was able to think I was learning and growing and getting better even as I did the opposite. I have an entirely different “emotional perspective” now. My world is different. Once again in large part to her. She has saved me yet again. I have learned volumes from her and now that my perspective is different so are my memories. They’ve taken on new tones.

I’m so grateful for her. I’m grateful that she was there when literally no one was. I’m grateful that she was so comfortable in speaking her mind and her willingness to put me in check. I’m grateful that she went to a lot of trouble to redefine the word “love” for me, because I see it now and it’s the most beautiful thing ever. I’m grateful that she spoke her mind before leaving. I’m grateful that she didn’t try to hurt me back because I would have opened my veins had she requested it that night. I’m just grateful for how she irrevocably changed me for the better. I hope she’s happy. I hope my idiocy passed from her like a fading dream and that she’s perfectly herself.

This song is wonderful. This really is what I’d want to say to her mostly. I wouldn’t want to defend myself. Not that she’d want anything to do with me, but this is what I’d want her to know if she asked. Then she should know that I’m eternally grateful to her and for her. She is the greatest of masterpieces, and like all great art, I am different for having experienced her.

[taylorbuggtaylortot]

the world goes to black & I fade away with it

I don’t mean it but I create some distance

And when I can’t crawl my way out of this space

I hope that you’ll find me

wipe the tears from my face

Cause we don’t want to give up

But sometimes we have enough

And I don’t want to drown here alone

So don’t let me go

Hold me real close

Find me and come bring me home

Life is a mess and I’ve been bout the same

Don’t wanna bleed on you

I’m covered in shame

Healing is just not as clean as it sounds

Stuck in rut

Tryna dig myself out

You have a way of making everything okay

And I hate how weak that can sound

I always try to be strong

I’d hate to tell you what’s wrong

Cause I don’t want to bring anyone down with me now

-tf

[wool-f]

Learning to accept praise... even from yourself

Even though I take pride in everything I do, I often have trouble accepting praise, both from myself and from others. This is something I’ve written profusely about in my journal, and a strange quirk about myself that I often ponder.

Why can’t I accept praise for the work that I do? Why can’t I take a moment in time to acknowledge something good I’ve done, and celebrate it?

I think it roots from my perfectionism, where I think that everything I do could be done that tiny bit better, and also from the way society has taught women to talk down to ourselves, and diminish the work that we do.

I know that I am not isolated in this inability to accept praise, so I thought I would dive a bit deeper into it today.

In my journal a few weeks ago, I was writing about a moment I had at work, where I had received praise from a colleague who I deeply admire, and wish to be like one day. In the moment I, of course, accepted the praise with positivity and gratitude, but inside I felt like I was an imposter, like how could I possibly be receiving this compliment for such little work?

Imposter syndrome is something I have struggled with constantly in my working life, and I continue to struggle with it daily. I never think I’m doing enough and I always think I could work better. I have come to realise that this is often a figment of my imagination, and that I am in fact deserving of being exactly where I am at any given time. I am a hard worker and dedicated to whatever it is that I am doing.

I can’t help but draw the connection between imposter syndrome and being unable to accept praise within myself. I use affirmations constantly to reverse this negative practice I have going inside my own head, and often it does work - the power of words is amazing, and almost always a mood booster for me.

But what do I do when affirmations only go so far? Well I have come to realise that I have to give myself a break and some credit, and a moment to enjoy the successes I am having, no matter how small.

I think there is a psychological link between being unable to accept praise, and being unable to accept goodness into your life, and that is definitely not something I want to believe about myself. I always welcome good things into my life and experience, and I am working on transforming my current inability to accept praise so that in the future, I can harness the power of my own positive thoughts to manifest the next steps in life.

To do this, I have had to confront why it is that I find it so hard to accept a compliment. I think it began when I exited a very toxic and in many ways abusive relationship. I left that person hating everything about myself, from the sound of my laugh to what I look like. I didn’t look in the mirror for at least 4 months following the breakup. After that experience, I pulled myself out of the dark place that I was in, and have found solace in loving myself at all levels.

So now, I can give myself compliments, and receive them for my physical appearance and personality, but I had not realised the depth at which the issue had imprinted onto my psyche. This internal disapproval of myself had seeped into my work mind and I hadn’t even realised it.

I found myself journaling about this, and wondering, where do I go from here? I can’t face this issue the same way I faced those with my physical appearance, so what can I do? And I need to solve it quickly, otherwise I would be stuck in a rut for much of my professional life.

I’ll be honest - the truth is, I don’t know the answer. At this stage, I have been using affirmations and regular meditation coupled with journaling to combat the moments where I notice it happening, and changing my language when I talk about myself - i.e. “I’m just a writer”, or “I’m just doing a masters”.

These are simple examples of what happens in my mind throughout the day, and I constantly scold myself for reducing myself to “just” anything. I am working on constantly being a proud hard worker, a good writer and a positive, ambitious person. These are emotions and things that I deserve to feel and believe about myself.

For anyone else out there who has these thoughts like I do, if you diminish yourself, or say the phrase “I am just …”, take this as a sign to speak nicely to yourself, and to give yourself a break from self-oppression. Challenge yourself this week and accept one complement given from yourself, and one compliment from another person, and really truly, accept them. Believe them. Believe in yourself.

If I figure out a quicker way to get out of the negative self-talk and into better feed-back loops I’ll share it, but for now, good luck to you and to me! We all need it.

G xx

[sluttsumu]

[ HOUSE PET ] - ATSUMU MIYA

warnings: 🔞, oral sex, use of the word ‘pet’, degradation, spit, hair pulling, dacryphilia, mentions of gambling

pairing: atsumu miya x f!reader

genre: kakegurui au, smut

wc: 1.2k

a/n: this was supposed to be different but anyways of atsumu using his house pet as a cum dump <3 if you haven’t watched kakegurui might be a lil confusing. THIS IS IN HONOUR OF MY BABYS BIRTHDAY YAL KNOW I HAD TO POST SOMETHING FOR HIM. i did not proof read this btw!

If you knew your gambling addiction would’ve landed you throat fucked by your upperclassman, you probably would’ve quit while you still could.

“What fuckin’ filth” He spat, gripping the collar of your shirt harshly, his nails ripping the expensive fabric. Tears fill up your eyes as well as hopelessness, the fear of being owned by Miya Atsumu was one that would cause anyone to sob.

You’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life but this took the cake, you chose to gamble with seat number four on Hyakkaou Private Academy’s student council, who’s family was insanely rich. He had all the money in the world to gamble with, but that didn’t matter his skills would still win him any bout of money he wished to posses.

“Surely you’ll be a house pet forever with a debt of 10 million yen” Gambling with a member of the student council might’ve been your worst mistake yet. Terrified, and absolutely humiliated but the growing heat between your thighs made this almost worth it.

“I-I’m sorry!” You cry out in pure fear of another one of his brutal punishments.

“You’re sorry?” His eyes widen, causing a prominent vain to stick out of his forehead. Atsumu was fed up with you and your lies, deep down he knew what you wanted, and so did you. “You’re not sorry.”

Your shudders and cries only continue with your back against the wall and pride on the floor. “W-What?” You babble, barely audible due to your hyperventilating. A slick smile grew on his face, leaving you paralyzed, nothing was ever good for you when that frivolous grin appears.

“You don’t think I know?” His face gradually reaching closer, the grip on your uniform tighter. Know what?Was your only thought, there’s nothing you were hiding at least nothing you weren’t delusional to. Delusional to the fact that all you wanted was your owner balls deep in your quivering cunny.

“You don’t think I can smell your arousal? All you want is for me to fuck you, huh mittens?” And there it was, your secret on display for him to toy with. Were you really that obvious, to the point where he’d figured it out himself? Atsumu was always a smart boy but concealing your lust for him was always a main priority of yours.

“Tell me, tell me how much you want me” Atsumu’s ego was thriving, his innocent little house pet in love with him, when he just saw you as something he could use when he wanted. Your babbling, your whimpering, your crying, he found it adorable. Hearing you embarrassingly admit your little crush on him would be the icing on the cake for his sadistic mind.

You stayed silent. He hates when you do that, stand there all innocent while he has to wait for an answer from you, and if he didn’t get one, he’d force one out of you one way or another. His grip released your shirt as he stood there with a disgusted look on his face. “Get on all fours, pet” Your eyes glassed over as you fell onto your hands and knees like a pet, his pet.

“Crawl over to that table.” He demanded pointing to where he asked you to go, you crawl across the room as he walks along side you, observing your behaviour.

He leaned against the table, crossing his arms while you stood on your knees in front of him, helplessly awaiting his next order. His hand trailed on the side of your face, thumb rubbing back and fourth on the plush of your cheek. “I will pay all your debt if you agree to be my personal cum slut” Lust consumed every thought in your head. You didn’t care about your debt, and Atsumu knew that. He could’ve simply asked and you would comply at the drop of a hat. You nod your head eagerly, agreeing to his crude proposition. His finger swipes your bottom lip, making them part momentarily.

“Put these to good use, yeah?”

The way his hands set on his belt told you everything you needed to know. His fingertips undid the buckle swiftly before sliding it and his dress pants off. Your eyes beamed at the way his cock spring out of his pants just tapping his stomach, meanwhile his eyes menacingly peered back.

“Go on, no need to be shy now”

You grab his length slowly stroking up and down, imitating his actions from before. Placing your mouth around the tip you begin sucking as saliva trails from your mouth down his shaft. “Just like that” He coos slightly adjusting. His hand cups the back of your head pushing you down a little further as you continue sucking and stroking. A groan escapes his lips, sending relief down your spine that you were making him feel good. His hand palms the back of your head keeping you locked on the base of his cock, causing you to choke. Fuck did he love that sound. Tears prickle in the outer corner of your eyes before staining your cheeks, he removes his hand causing your mouth to latch off leaving a string of spit behind. The gradual build of spit in your mouth left it full.

He wanted a show? He was gonna get one. One thing you did not lack was determination no matter what it was.

Emptying your mouth full of spit on him, before stroking again — but faster. Returning your mouth to his cock now bobbing it up and down, you ran your tongue over your teeth to prevent using them. Atsumu’s chest began to rise and fall a bit quicker, quiet moans, and profanities escaped his throat as you continuously sucked him off. “Fuck pretty baby, you might just make me cum“ He moved your hair out of your face so he could see it clearer, admiring the flushed expression you wore. Not only was he enjoying himself, but you were too and he could see that.

“Such a cock whore, you love this don’t you?” ‘Mhm’ You mumble around him, sending vibrations through his lower half. You let your mouth off once more coming off with a ‘pop’ noise, as you steadily stroke him, saliva covering your hands.

“Stick your tongue out” Doing as told you stuck your tongue out, leaving your mouth agape before it being filled with his cock once more. He fists your hair in both hands as he begins to facefuck you. With every rut of his hips, his cock brushed the back of your throat, pleading eyes stared back up him as he abruptly used you for an orgasm. Thats it at the end of the day you were nothing but a toy for him to play with. “Y-yes nghhh”His thrust became sloppy as he emptied thick ropes in your mouth.

“Don’t swallow just yet” Grabbing his phone out of his jacket pocket a light shone in your face from the flash “So pretty” his hand caressing your tearstained cheek once again. “Swallow it for me” With one swift gulp the saline liquid made way down your throat. He stared at you, eyes hazy and love drunk.

He picked the perfect cum slut.

tagging: @planetonet @hqintheclub​

sluttsumu 2021

[soleilnomoon]

hihi kaia! i love ur writing sm and was wondering if i could request a fic of childhood friends to lovers with sabo? maybe reader is also a noble and hates nobility, but one day meets sabo, becomes friends and he decides to introduce them to ace and luffy blahblah… then maybe they reunite in the revolutionary? idk i hope it’s not too complicated… honestly if it is, feel free to adjust however much u want, i’d just love to read ur interpretation of this :0 otherwise, u can also decline! thank u sm

hellooo, omg thank u sm! i’m glad you find enjoyment in my writing <3 i love that ppl are requesting sabo so much now, i love him; also thank u for being so patient :) also this came out much longer than i meant but oh well lmaooo

2.6k words, gn reader (no pronouns), sfw, angsty bc that's what i love, a bit of fluff if you squint hard enough (i tried), no major warnings although there is mention of a bit of violence & death. nothing big tbh.

they say, “sit up straight,” and, “don’t eat with your elbows on the table”; to drive their point in, they tack on, “your form is atrocious, try again,” with a bit of, “are you truly my child? i have my doubts,” which doesn’t always hurt your feelings, but sometimes it stings a little too hard. and, more importantly, they always make sure to end with, “remember, in life, one must always know their place.” 

you just didn’t know that it applied to you too. 

stuck in the rut of routine, in the normalcy that is absolutely abnormal, you constantly disrupt your studies by daydreaming of escaping the stuffy confines of your home. you know you have it better than most, know that there are people who would kill — literally — to have even a crumb of the wealth your parents have. it doesn’t matter to you; none of it does. it never has, and possibly never will. on a day where your parents are off doing what nobles do with all of their free time, you sneak away, determined to enjoy the city outside of the tall wall that separates the masses.

as fate would have it, you see a familiar top hot and goggles with a mess of blond curls underneath; your curiosity piqued, you follow after him. you’ve always wondered why he snuck around like that, why he didn’t act like the other children — was he also disgusted with the absurd wealth that the nobles and monarchs hoarded? was he tired of formalities, of the life that was crafted for him without his input? was he also trying to achieve a similar dream as you? your legs carry you as fast as they can — you’re not very good at sneaking, and because he’s used to the journey, he does what he can to shake you off.

still, you’re determined. your stubbornness is the one attribute your parents could never stamp out of you, no matter how hard they tried — and, yes, they have tried. locking you away, not feeding you for days, hoping to quell whatever rebellious spirit you’ve developed — all in vain. 

he takes several right turns before taking a left, and then disappears. you stand in the middle of a small clearing, surrounded by tall, thick trees; the sounds of neighboring forest frightening you a bit. you’re not used to wildlife like that, not used to being away from supervision, so this is all very new and exciting in a way. as you try to catch your breath, you never notice the soft footsteps; sabo twists your arm behind your back, eyes narrowed as he starts his interrogation.

“why are you following me? who sent you?” his hold tightens, making you wince, but you refuse to make a noise. lips pressed tightly, you shake your head, hoping he’ll get the hint that you don’t mean him harm. he doesn’t like that; doesn’t like that you aren’t talking, even with him holding you like this. and, because he isn’t inherently cruel, sabo releases you, pointing his weapon at you when you turn around and face him.

recognition shifts his features from accusatory to genuine surprise. “y/n? what are you doing here?” you rub your arm, still confused as to how sabo is able to move as fast as he can.

“i came to ask you the same thing,” you offer simply with a slight shrug of your shoulders. “i’ve always wondered why you always seem so…angry.”

your assertion gives him pause; he knows when he’s around the other nobles, his mask is nearly perfect — rarely are people able to see through the polite facade he puts on. but you, you see him; clearly and resolutely. it makes him uneasy.

“don’t worry, i’m not here to turn you in or anything,” you add quickly, rocking back and forth on your heels.

with narrowed eyes, sabo eventually lowers his weapon, considering your words seriously. “then why are you following me?”

frustrated with his inability to understand, you reiterate your earlier statement. “like i said,” you stomp your foot, “i came t—”

“on second thought, i don’t care. please leave, and don’t tell anyone you saw me here.” his mind made up, he gives you a prolonged look and runs off. it takes you a few hours, but you eventually make it back home, head spinning over the events of the day. your work unfinished, you don’t even blink when your mother barges into your room, yelling in a way that the other socialites in her circle would clutch their pearls over. the usual punishment occurs — a slap on the face, vicious words that cut into you repeatedly, the assertion that no child of hers will ever come back into her home looking disheveled as you did, and no supper.

you don’t care; it was worth it, you tell yourself. at night when you fall asleep, you dream of a forest and sabo.

the next time you follow him, you get a bit better at it; he catches you and tells you the same thing. to leave him alone and not come looking. so you ignore it and try again the next time he sneaks out. but, his treks beyond the city become more prolonged, and when he does come back, he doesn’t look happy at all. it’s then you suggest to your mother that you have a play date with him, and at first she’s apprehensive but who is she to deny such a reasonable request from you? especially since you never want to play with anyone anymore.

sabo’s home is similar to yours, with a softer color palette. nobles are extremely unoriginal when it comes to decorating, they tend to emulate popular trends, and right now it’s almost as if you’re standing in your own foyer. sabo says nothing until you’re escorted to his room and he shuts the door.

“why are you here?” he spins around to ask you, eyes narrowed, face flushed from exertion or annoyance — you’re not sure.

“this was the only way i could see you,” you say genuinely. “i think i understand you a little more.” he watches you move about, hands touching the surface of his desk, his books, you peer at his collection of pens too. “you want to escape, right?”

his face blanches and he opens his mouth to refute your claim, not wanting his parents to overhear, but you hold up a hand to stop him.

“no, it’s okay. i get it.” you weren’t sure before what you were missing, but seeing the ways sabo defied his parents, the ways he’s defied society in general — it moves you to act. “take me with you.”

sabo blinks repeatedly, not quite sure if he hears you correctly. “do you realize what you’re asking me?” his hands grow clammy and he keeps wiping them on his shorts. “it’s not an easy life, living out there. you won’t last.” but, someone who understands his plight better than ace or luffy ever will, the thought intrigues him to say the least.

“don’t worry, i’ll make it. i know i will.” you have to. this is your last resort, after all. sabo sits on his bed and considers your request. there are so many unknowns, so many variables to consider; but your determination is admirable. maybe you do have what it takes.

“how do i know i can trust you?” he tilts his head at you, arms folded against his chest. maybe this will prove that you’re not as serious as you claim to be. he sneers until he sees the pocket knife you’ve retrieved from your person; unsheathing the blade, you grab his hand and before he can protest you quickly prick his finger with it and then do the same to yourself.

“a blood pact,” you say solemnly, having read it somewhere in a book once. you hold your finger out, the blood gliding down as it seeps out of the tiny wound. sabo swallows hard, a little shaken by your conviction — you remind him of ace, in a way; intense, impulsive, inconveniencing him at the worst times. 

but he presses his finger to yours too, voice dropping to a whisper, “don’t make me regret this.” when you put the knife away you quickly hug him, feeling happier than you’ve felt in… years. sabo is unsure of what to do, so he pats your head awkwardly before prying you off of him. before long, you both fall into an easy conversation. you’re much funnier than he originally thought, your jokes making him laugh hard enough that his face turns red. he’s kinder than he appears, taking his time to explain his view on being a noble, on how everything feels rotten on the inside. his confession reminds you of a similar one — one you made late one night, whispering to the stars while everyone was asleep. so you listen carefully, absorb his words, enjoy the passion in his voice, and because you’re watching so intently, he gets flustered and stumbles over his words.

you try to ask him about it, but he gently nudges you away and hides his face by going through his dresser drawers. he tells you to pack light, that this will be the last time you see the city like this. it doesn’t bother you, though — leaving like this. so you make plans to meet at the gate later on that night. things go off without much issue, the journey a little easier now that you have sabo to guide you. both of you talk at length about your dreams, about impossible things you wish to see happen, on how you’re both eager to take to the sea. you’re more alike than you realize, but you don’t say anything — a little afraid that he might actually leave you behind if you do.

he introduces you to his brothers ace and luffy; the latter takes to you right away, excited that sabo brought on someone fun to play with. ace takes a bit of convincing, but when you prove capable enough, he begrudgingly accepts you. the time you spend with them fills you with a certain warmth that you’re desperate to hold onto. sabo, in turn, is a little more softer with you; takes his time to slow down if you’re lagging behind, only pushing you when he sees fit, staying up late to make up stories about potential adventures at sea with you. in hindsight, you come to understand that this was a love that blossomed slowly, that you only realized your feelings when it was much too late.

sabo’s death shatters something inside of you. but, you refuse to go back home. even after the search parties, you continue to keep hidden, sticking with ace and luffy for as long as you can, until it’s time to set off on your own. 

time gives you perspective, helps you see that naivety has no place in adult life, makes you wish to do something that will make a difference. it’s ace’s death that hardens you again. and, while you wish you could find luffy and comfort him for his loss, you know that won’t fix anything. the frustration pushes you to do more — to train harder, to educate yourself on the ongoings of the world. because your desire to be a part of the change in the world is so great, it leads you to the revolutionary army without fail. you’re told you’re to meet with the second-in-command, so you wait in the designated area, tapping your foot nervously against the hard tiled floor. you don’t know why, but you’re anxious about meeting him, wanting to make a good first impression you dress a little nicer than usual, make sure that your hair is perfectly in place — a testament to your upbringing, something you unfortunately cannot escape.

heavy footsteps alert you to his presence as he makes his way closer. “sorry for the wait,” he says, a polite smile on his face as he takes you in. since recovering his memories, things are still a little fuzzy, so he pauses right when you do, the thick file he had in his hands slips through his fingers, the papers flying as they fall onto the floor. you’re gripping the arms of the chair so tightly, you’re sure you’ll break the wood at this rate.

“s-sabo?” you can’t believe it — no, you refuse to believe it. but there he is, same as ever — a little older, much taller, and handsome as always. your brain short-circuits momentarily as you rub your face with your hands. “how is this even possible? how are you alive?” you haven’t moved from the chair, opting to sit because you know if you try to stand your legs will give out. ace is dead…but sabo is alive. when luffy finds out, he’ll be over-the-moon. you planned on keeping your hands over your face for eternity, hoping your tears don’t flow more than they are currently. sabo plucks your hands off of your face and pulls you to your feet — his strength is alarming, but you don’t mention that. you don’t mention that he’s grown to be much more confident in his convictions, that despite his status in the revolutionary army, he still has that boyish charm, still looks at you as if you hold the secrets to the universe, still has that mess of curls that you remember playing with more times than you can count.

you shove at his chest, not understanding a thing. “what happened? why are you here?”

 if anyone were to see you talking to him like that, they might kick you out; still, you keep at it, hurling question after question, irritated that he isn’t answering you. he’s much too busy committing your face to memory all over again. sabo, meanwhile, familiarizes himself with the annoyance on your face, the adorable pout on your lips, the delicate way your eyelashes fan out, the determined set of eyes of yours that always managed to see through his bullshit. 

it comes back to him in pieces, but with you in front of him, he finally feels at home.

“calm down,” he says lightly, that impish smile you fell in love with so long ago making the pitiful organ you call a heart to beat a little faster than normal.

poking your finger at him, you huff, “don’t you tell me to calm down, how about you calm down?” it’s ridiculous, you know, you’re being wholly unfair. something happened to sabo over the past decade, something you might never understand entirely — and even though you’re annoyed about it all, you’re so incredibly happy you could cry all over again. he wants to ask you about luffy, wants to ask how ace was before his untimely demise, wants to know if you still have the same dreams from back then. but he doesn’t. instead, he finds solace in teasing you, liking how easily you fall for his taunts. when you finally stop berating him, when you’ve run out of questions to ask, you quiet down and hug him tightly. 

you don’t expect him to return your embrace, so when he does, you’re stunned. sabo brushes his lips against your forehead, the kiss soft enough that you’re sure you imagined it. again, you feel your heart beat faster than necessary, that warmth you thought you lost so long ago finding you once more. his slender fingers tilt your chin upward so you can look at him properly. there’s something he’s been chasing during all of the years you were apart; his dreams were plagued by memories of his past life that didn’t feel quite real. but consistently, your face, your voice popped up every single night. he thought he imagined you; thought maybe you were just someone he desperately wanted to be real. but, now that he’s seen you — now that he’s holding you, he can safely say that you’re very much real. and he refuses to let you go.

“it’s okay,” he says quietly, smiling gently, “i missed you too.”

[btssaysstudy]

Cheer || jjk.

Pairing: Jungkook x reader Genre: fluff, cheerleader!yn x athlete!jk (requested by anon) Warning(s): minor swearing, alcohol, drinking games mentioned, college after game parties, reader is a cheer athlete, jungkook plays rugby, stress from expectations WC: ~9.9k (this is the longest I've ever written I hope it doesn't flop!!) Summary: You felt that your cheer team was under-appreciated by certain people — specifically the rugby team that your cheer team supports during their matches. How is it that their star player, Jeon Jungkook, manages to find his way into your life despite having a bad impression of the rugby players? Update (6/8): Made an edit

You always loved being in a team. That would explain why you were where you were. Standing on the mat in the indoor gym with your cheer team on a Friday night. Cheer was beyond exhausting, but you still loved doing it, especially with the team that you got in college. Your coach - a perfectionist - always drilled you guys over the minute details. That would also explain why you were still practicing for something so ‘trivial’ - your opinion, not your coach’s.

Your team was practicing the routine for the rugby team’s qualifying match on Monday. It was a simple routine - as always. Your team didn’t do championship level routines during such events, you were all just there as moral support and being the hype people for the team. All you had to do was cheer with your pom poms, throw in a couple of stunts and the crowd would go wild.

But every event was a chance to get better, to get closer to perfect, according to your coach. And you did not disagree. You just never looked forward to cheering for the rugby team even after all the events. Despite your team always cheering for the football club, you could say you disliked most of them. It always felt as though they didn’t appreciate the moral support and took you guys for granted.

“Might want to look happy, yn.” You heard a playful remark from behind. Jimin, your most trusted base.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Just don’t drop me.”

There was no way you could pull off your stunts if you didn’t have trust in your teammates. And you could say you trusted Jimin with your life - literally. Accidents and mistakes were bound to happen but there was no doubt that you’d be down to try for anything if Jimin was your base.

Not only was Jimin a trustworthy base, but he was also an amazing stunter. His physique was perfect to be an in between, he could pull off both roles. That almost guaranteed him a spot on the mat every time. He was extremely hardworking as well and you’ll always be proud of your best friend making mat. Of course, you wanted to make mat just as badly as the next person.

Last season, you did not make mat and it crushed you. Jimin was there to get you out of your rut and encouraged you to bounce back stronger. Thanks to him, you managed to pick yourself up and train harder for the upcoming nationals. You had never been more determined to make mat.

“Point your toes, I want my flyers looking really perfect.” Your coach yelled over the music. Your coach was a beast, but an effective one, nonetheless. Your team won nationals last season and ready to bag this season as well.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Clean the place up and you guys can go home. Thanks everybody!” Your coach clapped their hands and the team followed suit as everyone got up from the mat and started tidying the place.

“Need a lift?”

“Yes please, you’re the best!” You pulled Jimin in for a tight hug, “Okay, you do this then!” Jimin handed you the empty bottles that he picked up from the ground as he headed off the change first.

You grumbled but took his place in defeat.

—

Big smiles were plastered on your faces as you congratulated the winning team - your college. You best friend nudged you while you waved the team goodbye as they passed by. “Coming to the after party?”

“Wouldn’t miss the free drinks and snacks.”

Jimin snorted, “Obviously.”

Though you did say that it felt like the cheer team was under appreciated, you were always invited to the after parties. Most of you went, mainly for the free drinks and snacks.

You flashed two thumbs up with Jimin as Yoongi passed by. A small smile on his face as he slightly bowed his heads in your direction, acknowledging your cheers.

Through all the after parties, you have been acquainted with one of their star players - Min Yoongi. He was one of the few who hung out in the kitchen to avoid all the party games and the crowd in the general. He disliked the unnecessary glamour and attention that came along with joining the rugby club. You admired his passion for rugby and along with Jimin, the three of you became the trio who hid away from the crowd during the parties.

After the debrief with our coach, your team dispersed to your own places to freshen up for the after party. It was a Friday night, and a good night of drinking was warranted after a tiring week.

You were all lucky your coach was not strict regarding such parties, as long as everyone turned up ready for the following practice.

“Glad to see faces I actually like.” Yoongi commented, handing you two drinks he had already prepared. “You make it sound like you hate everyone on your team.”

“I would say a good majority. I’m actually jealous that your cheer team is so close knit.”

Jimin nudged you after you downed your shot, “Without trust, our stunts won’t fly.”

You nodded your head in agreement, “Probably should get my team to watch your practices to learn a thing about team spirit.” Yoongi scoffed, mostly to himself, knowing that realistically, it would never happen.

The three of you turned your attention to the living room, watching Yoongi’s teammates either play beer pong or trying to find their fling for the night.

“They’re skilled, no doubt. But most of them are here for the popularity. It’s rare to find someone who genuinely likes football too.” Yoongi ranted as you poured himself another shot.

“Is there not a single soul?” Jimin asked, feeling a tinge of pity for his friend who was not experiencing the same level of love for his team as Jimin did for the cheer team.

Yoongi’s eyes scanned across the room, slowly shaking his head before his eyes landed on someone. “Actually, there is— Jungkook!” He raised his hand, shouting over the loud music as he tried to get someone’s attention.

You turned your head to see Jungkook approaching your group. “Jungkook? Really?” You questioned Yoongi. Jungkook was one of the star players as well. It was impossible not to know Jungkook. You could walk down any corridor in campus, and you would hear someone mention his name at least once.

“Hey,” Jungkook greeted Yoongi before his eyes shifted to yours and Jimin’s. “What’s going on?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “Just wanted to introduce you to some of the members from cheer.”

“From cheer, huh?” The corner of his lips tugged upwards as his eyes went back to you.

“I figured you won’t recognise us, even though we’ve been at your parties since, well… Basically here every party.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it just came out from you. You heard Jimin chuckle from beside you as he draped his arms over you.

“Sorry bud, yn here doesn’t have a good impression of you guys.”

“It’s not like you have a better one.” You bit back at Jimin who just stuck out his tongue at you. “That is true,” He pulled away as he took a drink, “We were actually just bitching about you guys with Yoongi.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in bewilderment, yet he felt amused enough to stay and find out more. “Is that so, Yoongi?”

His teammate nodded his head nonchalantly, “Just sharing the truth. About how most of them are here to be popular. I called you because I know you’re one of the few who actually joined for rugby.”

Jungkook huffed out an amused hum, “Interesting. What are your names again?”

“Yn and Jimin.” Jimin instantly replied, knowing you were probably going to reply with a snarky comment. “Part of the cheer team, like Yoongi said. She’s mainly a flyer and I’m a base and tumbler.”

You watched as his eyes furrowed in confusion, “S-Sorry I don’t know cheer terms.”

“Not surprised.” You let the words slip as you took a sip from your cup. Jungkook’s eyes looked at you, a hint of challenge and interest on his expression.

“If you have something against me, let’s hear it.”

“Don’t take it personally, Jungkook.” You reached out to give a light pat on his right chest. “I had a bad impression on Yoongi as well.”

With that, Yoongi sighed, nodding his head in the back. “It’s a miracle she likes me now.”

“Well, why don’t you give me a chance to change that impression then?” The left corner of his lip rose a playful look on his face as he challenged you.

It could be the alcohol or could be the loud music that made you disoriented. Nonetheless, you reached out your hand for a handshake, “You’ve got one chance.”

Jimin and Yoongi left the kitchen to enjoy their own time together. You had an inkling that something was stirring between them, but you decided to let them be as you were left alone with Jungkook in the kitchen.

“So, yn,” Jungkook shifted in the high stool, leaning on his right elbow, his attention focused on you. “Care to explain why you seem to hate my team so badly?”

“Buckle your seatbelts, Jeon.” You teased as you reached out for your drink. You watched his attention eyes fixated on yours as he waited for your answer. “I dislike your team because it feels we don’t get the appreciation I feel we rightfully deserve. We’re always there for your plays, even for your friendlies. The support just feels one sided and to me it sucks when we put in a lot for our routines as well.”

You watched him slowly nod his head in understanding, his body leaning backwards as he internalised your words. “I have to admit. I never really paused to think about your cheer team. I mean your outfits and pom poms are cute and all— “

Pointing your finger at him, you interrupted, “Exactly, we’re not just cute outfits and pom poms. We only use the cheesy pom poms for your matches to make the crowd all hyped up. Do you even know we have our own competition as well?”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “Of course I do. Just never watched one.”

You let out a short, dry laugh, “It’s okay. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Jungkook frowned, noting the dejected tone laced in your laugh and words as you tried to dismiss it. As an athlete himself, he knew how dejecting it must feel that support was one sided or lacking.

“Hey,” He placed the cup on the counter, “Why don’t you educate me? I’d like to know more.”

You smiled, “You’re pretty good at changing your first impression. You’re working really hard.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No no, I mean it. It’s not just about changing your opinion of me. Tell me about cheer.”

You paused momentarily, recognising the sincerity in his voice as his gaze stayed on you. You knew he was serious about wanting to know more. It was as though the wall you placed between the two seemed to falter, a very minuscule crack forming on the wall.

“Jungkook!” A random college student hollered for his attention, “Come play beer pong with us!” You watched in amusement as you read their body language. They were clearly flirting with Jungkook and calling for his attention.

“Duty calls?”

Jungkook shook his head, “I’ll pass!”

“We can save this talk for another time, you can go— “

“Just to clear things up,” Jungkook turned back to you, “I’m not a fuckboy.”

You choked on air from his sudden defence statement, “I-I didn’t s-say you were— “

“Didn’t have to,” He said with a light smile on his face, “But I expected it too. Comes with the popularity I guess.” “So, you don’t…?” You trailed off and he shook his head, as if he was completely appalled by the sheer thought of being a fuckboy. “No, no. I don’t see the point in flings. Like Yoongi said, I’m here for rugby. Not to find dates.”

It felt as if another crack in the wall was formed after learning that fact. Like how Yoongi managed to break down the wall between you and him a few games ago.

Maybe not all jocks were bad.

“Anyway,” Jungkook pulled you back from your thoughts, “Educate me.”

You began sharing how was practice like, the different roles people were and how strict your coach was. You explained how you were always at the gym on the days you didn’t have training. You always got passionate when you talked about cheer and Jungkook experienced it first-hand. He watched how your face immediately lit up when he asked you to share about the sport. He was sure that even a person with zero interest with cheer would be completely drawn to hear you share about it with how enthusiastic you were.

“We currently have training three times a week since nationals are coming. We practice from late afternoon to almost midnight sometimes.” You paused, a sheepish grin creeping on your face as you realised you had been rambling on about your sport. “I-I’m sorry, I must’ve bored you to death.”

“No, no!” He immediately shook his head, hands out in front shaking as well in protest, “I wasn’t bored. I was really interested. I can tell how much you love cheer though.”

“Y-Yea I really do. Always good to find something to distract you especially during college.”

He nodded his head, “Can’t argue with that.” He raised his plastic cup in his hand, “Cheers to distractions.”

“Cheers,” You laughed, raising your cup towards his.

-

You could say you clicked well with Jungkook that night. In fact, you guys shared a lot about each other’s sport that you didn’t exchange numbers or any form of communication afterwards. It didn’t bug you so much since you figured it was a one-off conversation with him.

To be frank, you almost forgot that you talked with Jungkook that party. Jimin was the one who reminded you, asking about how he was and if you still hated jocks.

“He’s not bad, actually.”

“Of course, that’s why Yoongi actually likes him.” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously, leaning towards Jimin, “Speaking of Yoongi, how are things between you two?”

Your friend snorted, dismissing you with his hand, “What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on. We’re just friendly.”

“For now?”

Jimin shrugged, “We’ll see how it goes.” He gives you a wink before getting up, extending his hand out as an offer to pull you up. “Back on the mat.”

Training went on until 11pm, it was full of drills as soon your coach would be picking who will make mat for nationals. Everyone had to give it their all during practice as you were all constantly being scrutinised by your coach, your attitude, skills, and stamina. You had been training your stunts with Jimin after he managed to pull you back up from your sulking phase. Everything was important.

You separated from Jimin after practice as you made your way to the bus stop to head home. “Yn? Is that you?”

A very familiar honey-like voice.

Jungkook slowly made his way to the bus stop, “What are you doing here at campus so late?” You asked.

“I was studying. Just ended practice?”

“Yea.”

Jungkook glanced at his watch, “Wanna grab a midnight snack?”

You smiled, “Sure.”

“How does ice cream sound?”

“I’m down.”

There was a small ice cream store near campus and luckily, you managed to catch the last order. The both of you enjoyed your slow late night stroll back to the bus stop as you strikes up a conversation with him.

“I realised I was the only one talking about my sport that night. How about you share about rugby? I actually don’t know much about it.”

“You sure?” Jungkook asked, slightly shocked that you had brought up his sport. “Because I can get carried away when I talk about it—“

You laughed, “I’m sure Jungkook. Fire away.”

Jungkook started sharing the rules and positions of rugby - “I’m number 11, one of the wings” You looked at him, already confused with the terms. With a short chuckle, he explained, “I’m one of the backs. We do the running and scoring. Sometimes, we have to knock people down in our way.”

He continued sharing his training schedule as well - how his team similarly had gym sessions on non-training days just like cheer. The only difference was that the rugby team had a gym off campus.

“Sounds fancy.”

“It’s pretty fancy.” He nodded his head letting out an airy laugh.

“Rubgy doesn’t sound too bad now that I know how it works.”

“You could watch one of our matches or practices when you guys aren’t cheering for us.”

“Why not.”

—

“Guess who I see?” Jimin whispered, nudging you out of your focus. You looked up, placing your dumbbells down, “Where are you looking at?”

“6 o’clock.” He muttered as he sneakily stole your dumbbells to do his set while you turned around to spot Jungkook who had just entered the gym.

You were surprised to see Jungkook and his teammates at the gym. Yoongi was the first one who spotted you. He sent a small smile, raising his hand for a short wave in your direction.

“Hey thief,” You nudged Jimin back, “Yoongi is here too.”

“I know, that’s why I stole your dumbbells.” You chuckled, smacking his toned arms upon learning his tactic.

You watched Yoongi talk to Jungkook, seemingly informing him that you were there as Jungkook turned his body around, his eyes meeting yours. You smiled, sending a hello with your hand to which he returned.

Seeing that you were unoccupied, since Jimin stole your dumbbells, Jungkook made his way to you. “What happened to your almighty external gym?”

He shrugged with a bright smile, “After hearing you hype up the campus gym so much the other night, I thought, why not give it a shot?”

You shook your head with a chuckle, clearly not believing his words. “If that’s the case, enjoy the campus gym!” You reached out to pat his broad shoulders before turning back to resume your gym session.

“Are you done with your set yet?” You questioned Jimin who stood right back up with a grin, “Was he watching me?”

Taking the dumbbells from his hands, you shrugged, “Doubt it.”

“Yea right.” Jimin scoffed, stepping aside to give you more space.

Your gym session lasted an hour as usual, ensuring that you don’t over-work your body as well since your coach was going to be choosing the final 20 soon.

Whenever you weren’t studying or training, you were stressing over whether you’ll make mat. And it was evident on your face. You heard a sigh coming from Jimin, “Don’t stress over it too much. You’ve been working extra hard this season, I’m confident you’ll make it.”

You responded with a weak smile, “Thanks Jimin, I really hope so.”

“Me too, but what you need is to stop thinking about it right now. Go get a distraction for tonight. Tomorrow’s training is going to be torturous.”

“When isn’t it?” You joked, “Touché.”

You packed your gym bag with Jimin, ready to leave and wind down for the day. Jimin was right, you needed a distraction - maybe a Netflix movie, or do some yoga to de-stress, or do a sheet mask —

“Jimin, yn!” You heard Yoongi holler out your names as you walked away from the campus gym.

“Yoongi, what’s up?”

Yoongi walked up to the both of you, accompanied by Jungkook.

“We just ended our session, was thinking if you wanted to grab dinner together?”

“Sure! Yn here,” Jimin laces his arm around yours as he pulled you closer to him, “needs a distraction ASAP.”

“A distraction?” Jungkook asked, looking at you for a response.

“From worrying about making mat.”

Yoongi chuckled, “Jungkook doesn’t know cheer lingo— “

“Oh no,” He shook his head, “I know what that means.”

“You do?!” Yoongi and Jimin asked incredulously.

“I gave him a lecture about cheer during that after party.” You answered and Jimin laughed, “Right! I forgot about your granny lecture.”

You scoffed defensively, “I-I mean he could’ve stopped be any time he was bored— “

“Because I wasn’t. It’s refreshing seeing people be so passionate about something, especially during college.” You returned the smile, the more you interacted with Jungkook, the more you could see why Yoongi kept Jungkook in his small circle of friends.

If there was anything the four of you had in common, it was your passion for your sport.

“I know a great place we can eat at.” Yoongi suggested. The four of you headed over to Yoongi’s go-to restaurants after his workout sessions. As the food started to come to your table, Yoongi and Jimin were caught up with some music competition show that you did not keep up with.

“So how has cheer been?” Jungkook’s voice pulled your attention towards him. “Fun but tiring as usual. Our coach is selecting who will make it to the final 20 for the nationals.” You sighed, anxiousness clearly evident in your tone and on your face.

“Hey, from an athlete to another, I know you’ve trained very hard, and I’ll be rooting for you to make it to the final 20.”

You weren’t sure why, but it felt comforting to hear those words from Jungkook. It felt different than when Jimin would cheer you up. You quickly decided that it was because you were praised by one of the star players of the rugby team. It felt great being acknowledged by someone out of the cheer world.

So, you decided to go with that explanation.

“Thanks, Jungkook, I hope I do. But you technically don’t know whether I’ve trained hard since you’ve never seen me practice.”

“That is true.” He simply grinned at you, “But I just know.”

“You have so much faith in me, Jungkook.” You teased.

He placed his forearms on the table, leaning on them to bring himself slightly close to you, “I have lots of faith in you.”

—

You weren’t stupid and you weren’t blind either. You and Jimin have been spotting Jungkook and Yoongi loitering around the indoor gym lately.

“Did you see them?” Jimin tossed you your newly refilled bottle, “I haven’t left the gym. They’re here again? It’s like 10pm.”

Jimin shrugged his shoulders, “Yoongi was napping on the table though. Looks like Jungkook was the only one actually studying.”

Jungkook never mentioned to you that he stayed back in campus to revise. Though, you barely talked to him since you never exchanged numbers. Every time you had a conversation with him, you both would get too swept up in the conversation that it never occurred to either of you that it was the 21st century and you could talk with your phones.

Training ended an hour later, and you did not expect them to still be outside ‘studying’.

“You guys are still studying?” Jimin called out as you both approached them, Jungkook’s head shot up almost instantly, his eyes finding yours, a bright smile on his face despite his tired eyes from revision. “What a coincidence seeing you here.”

You raised your eyebrows questioningly, “Here,” You looked around with your hands gesturing to the area, “Right outside the indoor gym, with no fan or AC.”

“Yes, here.” He insisted.

Yoongi sighed, finally waking up from his nap. “What’s with the commotion— Oh, you guys are finally done with practice.” He got up and grabbed his bags, “Jimin, need a lift?”

“Yes please!” Jimin nodded his head, giving you a quick goodbye hug before heading off with Yoongi, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Guess I can’t judge your preference for a study location.” You made your way to him as he packed up his belongings. “I kinda feel bad for you that Yoongi ditched you.”

Jungkook shook his head with a smile, “He was meant to ditch me anyway. I was waiting to see you.”

You felt yourself momentarily pause; an inhale stuck halfway as you processed his words. He waited to see me. You thought, your brain trying to find an explanation for that.

“I realised we haven’t exchanged numbers even after all this time.” He continued when he didn’t get a response.

“O-Oh right, here,” You reached for your phone in your bag, handing it to Jungkook. “I’ll drop you message.”

Jungkook didn’t take your phone immediately, his eyes locked on your face, as if he was shocked that you didn’t mind exchanging numbers, his hand reached for your phone, gently brushing against your fingers, sending a fluttery feeling in your way.

Once he added his contact, he returned your phone, “It’s 11pm, do you have a ride home?”

“I usually just take the bus.”

“I have a car. Let me take you home.”

“Oh no,” You shook your head, “You don’t have to really, I’m used to taking the bus— “

“But I’m already here anyway, come on, do you not trust my driving skills?” He joked and you let out an airy laugh, “Alright fine. I owe you one.”

“Nah, you already gave me your number.” He winked at you, throwing his bag over his shoulder, leading the way to the carpark with you slightly stunned from his flirtatious remarks.

The care ride with Jungkook was comfortable, slightly tense on your end at the start. Jungkook gave you the cable to play whatever music you wanted which made you slightly more comfortable. “I don’t know if we have the same music taste— “

“It’s alright, just play whatever you want.”

“O-Okay…”

Surprisingly, you and Jungkook didn’t have that much of a difference in differing taste, there were some songs that he didn’t know but found himself liking it. He himself was shocked to learn that you had similar taste in music.

Jungkook didn’t know why he felt so nervous having you in his car and driving you home. It was not like you were getting married. But why did he feel so nervous? Jungkook rarely flirted or showed interest in someone. His love was rugby - his sport - his life. He poured his heart and soul into the sport. But with you, he found that he couldn’t help flirting with you. It felt natural - It felt right.

Ironically, or maybe not, as he drove you home that night, Jungkook knew deep down, he was in it for the long ride.

—

Jimin held your hands tightly as you kept your eyelids shut. You could feel that your heart was about to jump out of your chest as you sat on the mat with Jimin, waiting for your coach to call out all the 20 names. It almost felt like you could feel your heartbeat in your head, the suspense and dragging was killing you.

Your hands clammy in Jimin’s but you did not have a single care as all you wanted in that moment was to make it to nationals.

“Jimin.”

You gasped, pulling Jimin in for a tight hug as he yelled in excitement. You were proud of your best friend; you knew that he would make mat and he deserved it.

Names were called and there were only 5 names left to be called, you grip on Jimin’s hands slackened as you started to accept that you won’t make it—

“Yn.”

You ears rang and you thought you were about to go deaf. Jimin’s loud but happy scream stunned you as you were pulled in for a suffocating hug this time.

The last 4 names were called and the final 20 had been made (subject to change).

Tears welled up in your eyes as memories of your gruelling training flashed through your mind. All the tiring practices and extra trainings with Jimin, the hardships and discipline all paid off.

Training went swimmingly, your coach running through sections of the choreography until it was time to wrap up. “Didn’t have the time to properly congratulate you.” Jimin said with a bright proud grin on his face as you left the gym.

“Thanks, Jimin! Hopefully we can stay on the 20 and compete together.”

“I’m confident we will.”

His eyes shifted away from you, and you followed his gaze to see Jungkook outside, once again, studying, alone this time. “Where’s Yoongi?” You asked as you both approached him.

“He gave up studying with me. Probably went home to crash after our practice today.”

Jimin eyed Jungkook’s facial expression suspiciously, eyes darting between you and Jungkook before he spoke, “I’m going book a ride and head home first yea? Text me when you’re home.” Jimin gives your shoulder a good squeeze before saying bye to you and Jungkook.

“What’s with the big smile on your face?” Jungkook questioned as he started packing his belongings. Your smile was contagious and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile as well as soon as he saw your bright expression.

“I got into the top 20!”

You squared like a little girl, once again excited from the thought of making it this season.

Jungkook abruptly stopped gathering his stuff, stepping away from the table, “Really? Congrats, yn!” He pulled you in for a hug which made your muscles stiffen but your arms automatically wrapped around him.

“I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Jungkook.” You chuckled as you pulled away from the embrace. Your mind was clouded, filled with a mixture of thoughts of making it to the Top 20 and how warm that hug felt. How it felt so ‘right’.

Over the past few weeks, it had become a routine, to have Jungkook studying outside the indoor gym and drive you home after practice. You always told him he didn’t need to send you home, but he never listened.

“Our qualifying match is next Friday, if we win, there’ll be an after party, are you free to come?”

“For the after party?”

“Yea, I mean, technically your whole cheer team usually come but since your nationals are coming, I’m assuming you would be too busy to come.”

“No no, I’ll come.”

“You will?” Jungkook’s face lit up and a bubbling feeling grew in your chest as you tried to ignore it. “Yea I will.”

—

Since Jungkook had his qualifying match around the corner, you stopped seeing him late at night outside the gym. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you missed seeing him after your practice.

Nonetheless, you would still spend the night texting him right before bed. It felt so easy to converse with him and you always looked forward to hear stories about his rugby practice and it felt nice to share about your cheer practice to him.

Friday quickly arrived and you decided to watch his match since the game was on your campus grounds. You took a seat somewhere in the middle of the bleachers and your eyes scanned the field to find Jungkook.

You recalled him explaining the positions of the backs and you found his number - 11. A smile crept unto your face as your eyes fixated on Jungkook. Your facial expression always scrunched up into a wince whenever you see them tackle each other during the game. You would let out a hiss as if you were the one sliding against the grass as Jungkook scored a point.

Nonetheless, it was fascinating to actually watch the game. Not surprisingly, after you understood the rules of the game, it was exciting to root for your college’s team. Maybe it was because you were rooting for a particular player, but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself just yet.

During half-time, your college’s team made their way back to the benches which was in front of where you sat. You didn’t bother shouting for his attention since you knew it was important to stay in the zone.

You sat at your spot, watching him, and you almost felt like a stalker. He was drenched in sweat, definitely going to have bruises or scratches from the game, you could see his chest move up and down as he took deep breaths to relax.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat when he had looked up and found your eyes amongst the crowd. Jungkook had been casually looking around the crowd to see if you really did come to watch his game.

He had texted you the night before about how he hoped you could come see his game now that you know how it actually worked. You told him no promises but had made sure you were free the afternoon to attend his game. Of course, you didn’t tell him that.

In an instant, his serious gaze broke into an inviting smile as he mouthed the words “hey” at your direction. You smiled back, returning the greeting while you hoped no one caught that moment between the two of you.

His coach called for their attention to remind them of their game plan but Jungkook was having a battle in his mind. The image of you smiling at the bleachers stayed as he tried to listen to his coach’s words. He knew the game plan, he was always on top the game. But seeing you watching him from the bleachers made him feel giddy but at least he also motivated him to do extra well. He wanted to look good in front of you.

And that’s exactly what he did.

He sent you text to wait for him to freshen up and you sat at your spot, enjoying the breeze as you waited for him to come back from his shower.

“You actually came.”

You looked up from your phone to see a wet-haired Jungkook approaching you with a lopsided grin. “Wanted to give support especially after all the times you sent me home after practice.”

Your phone vibrated as Jimin spammed you with messages when you stopped replying. Jimin had been asking about your whereabouts and you told him you were at the rugby game. He was upset since he would have tagged along to watch Yoongi if he knew you were going.

“Where’s Yoongi?”

Jungkook gestured with his thumb behind him, “Still showering. Is Jimin here?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “He didn’t know I was coming to watch. I think he’ll attack me later at the party.”

“Sounds like a fun match to see.” He joked and you scoffed, “I’ll beat Jimin easily.”

“I’m sure, I’ll always be rooting for you.”

It sounded like another tease but his words caused nervous knots in your stomach. You deliberately ignored the feeling as you walked down the bleachers to his side, “Shall we get Yoongi and Jimin?”

“Yep, text me his address. We’ll pick him up once Yoongi is ready to go.”

Get ready, Jungkook’s picking you up - yn

I already look good, always ready - Jimin

Yoongi didn’t take long to come out of the showers and the three of you made your way in Jungkook’s car to pick Jimin up, all ready for the after party.

“I haven’t had dinner so I am ready for all the food.” Jimin groaned, clutching his stomach as he hopped off the car.

The four of you made your way up the driveway to see that the after party had started even earlier. “Looks like everyone couldn’t wait to party.” Yoongi commented as you entered through the main door, the loud typical party music blasting through the house.

It wasn’t a very packed party, lesser than the usual after parties but still plenty of people nonetheless.

There were already different groups engaging in different activities - gossiping, flirting, beer pong, truth or dare, Mario Kart and many more.

“Yn, you hungry? I heard Woohyun baked pasta for tonight.” Yoongi gestured to the kitchen. Before you could reply, Jungkook added on, “Someone’s barbecuing in the backyard though.”

“Barbecue?” You repeated, “Sounds delicious.” You turned your head back to Yoongi, “I’ll follow you guys after!”

Yoongi and Jimin made their way to the kitchen while you and Jungkook headed over to start your night with barbecue.

At the backyard, there was a swimming pool with a small lawn where the barbecue was. The two of you made your way to the table with the cooked food, helping yourself to dinner.

“This tastes amazing.” You moaned in delight after the first bite.

Jungkook laughed, “Come on,” He took an empty plate and grabbed a handful of barbecue sticks and kebabs, leading the way to the other side of the pool with one empty lounge chair.

You shared the plastic lounge chair, sitting beside Jungkook as you shared the plate. “So, how was my game?”

“To be honest,” You cleared your throat, “More interesting now that I know the game.”

He grinned like a happy high school boy, “That’s great to hear! Maybe you can watch more of my games or practices when you have the time.”

“We’ll see about that.” You teased, grabbing another stick to feed yourself.

“So, how’s your prep for nationals?”

“Tiring, one of our flyers got a concussion after a bad fall last night so she’s temporarily replaced. Our pyramid’s a mess.”

Jungkook lightly nudged your shoulders, “I’m sure it’ll turn out well. You guys are the defending champions.”

“I hope we can defend it this season.”

“Gotta think positively.” He winked at you and you returned a small smile. Silence fell upon you two as you noticed the lack of personal space between the both of you. It felt comfortable yet nerve-racking to be so close to him.

Was he uncomfortable with the closeness? Should you move away?

Just as you were about to scoot away, he spoke. “I’m really glad you came to my match tonight. It felt different.” He admitted rather shyly as his gaze dropped to the half empty plate.

“Different?”

Jungkook nodded his head, “Felt nice knowing there’s someone out there rooting for me.”

“There were lots of people rooting out for you.”

“Yea but, someone out there that I really want to impress.”

You didn’t have a reply, you weren’t sure how to reply. You decided to opt for a small encouraging pat on his shoulder before retracting your hand.

It didn’t seem much from an outsider’s perspective, but his words held a lot of weight. For the both of you. Almost as if you were about to cross a line - some line that you weren’t sure if you’re both ready to cross.

“Well,” He cleared his throat, standing up, “Shall we go find the two?”

“S-Sure.”

The two of you entered through the back door and was immediately blocked by his fellow team player, handing both of you a bottle of soju. “Gotta help us finish these, Jeon. Someone,” his eyes darted to another team player, “Accidentally ordered twice our usual order.”

“Damn.” Jungkook laughed in disbelief, “I’ll pull my weight then.”

“Great! You know what’s a perfect game for that? Spin the Bottle! You guys wanna play?”

Jungkook’s gaze darted to yours as you hesitated to reply.

“Come on Jeon, you always reject our games. Just this once, yea?”

He sighed, “A-Alright sure. Yn?”

You shook your head, “I’ll pass. Go have fun.” You patted his back as you excused yourself to the kitchen. There was a sour feeling knowing that Jungkook agreed to play Spin the Bottle, you avoided looking at the circle at the living area as you went to find Yoongi and Jimin guarding the snacks.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Spin the Bottle.” You plopped yourself down beside Jimin, chugging the soju bottle in your hand.

“Someone sounds affected.” Jimin teased, handing you a plate of pasta.

“No one’s affected.” You defended yourself as you grabbed a fork to eat the pasta, ignoring the feeling in your chest.

You had almost completely forgotten about Spin the Bottle as the three of you went on to talk about other things. You were laughing and enjoying your night with the two until you heard the familiar voice that made your muscles freeze.

“Any pasta left for me?”

You turned to look at Jungkook, “Enjoyed the game?”

“Pretty interesting,” He started and you immediately wanted to shut his voice out, “But would’ve been fun if you were in the game.” He winked at you before he took a plate for himself, acting as if he hadn’t said those words. You saw the empty soju bottle that he placed on the counter top and figured it was the alcohol talking so you decided to brush it off. It was probably the alcohol making him say such a brave statement in front of your friends.

Would something have happened if you agreed to play the game?

—

You realised that maybe he did decide to be more brave.

He started sitting in the gymnasium to watch your practices. Jimin would always inform you when he spotted Jungkook, insisting that he was here to watch you. Though you constantly denied, because you knew he knew a few of you guys from all the parties.

Somehow, you always felt his eyes were locked on you - his attention never leaving you no matter how chaotic the mat got. Every fall, every success, every break. You just knew he was looking at you.

The first practice you realised he was there, you approached him after practice ended.

“Hey Jungkook!”

“Why are you here?”

“Am I that unwanted? Looks like only Jimin is glad to see me here.”

“N-No,” You were caught off-guard, “I was just wondering—“

“I know, I’m kidding.” Jungkook chuckled, getting up from the bench, hopping down to stand right in front of you. “You came to my game, and I want to come see your practices. I haven’t actually seen how serious cheer can be.”

You hummed, “Alright then.” You tossed your damp towel over your shoulder. Jungkook reached out, “Let me take your bag. I saw how tiring practice was.”

“Jungkook it’s fine—“

“And you fell from that pyramid a couple of times. You better ice that bruise.” He pointed to the bruise on your shin. You had gotten the bruise when you knocked it against one of your teammate’s foot when you had fallen off the pyramid.

He had successfully snatched your duffel bag when you were distracted by the bruise on your shin. “Jungkook—“

“Come on, let the guy be a gentleman.” Jimin nudged your sides and you shot a light glare his way. “I already booked a ride and it’s here so I’ll head home first. Text me when you’re home, yea?” Jimin patted your shoulder before jogging off.

During the ride home, Jungkook shared how in awe he was during your practice. “I felt that same way watching your game too.” You admitted.

“I’m definitely watching nationals with Yoongi.”

“You don’t have to—“

“But I want to! I’m coming.”

Over the weeks, you learned even more about Jungkook.

Firstly, Jungkook was a really thoughtful individual.

He also loved going the extra mile. You knew his rugby training schedule since he shared it before. So you knew he was watching your late night sessions after his tiring ones on some days, yet still sat through all the way.

He didn’t attend all practices, but he didn’t have to. You always appreciated the times he came to watch and you made it a point to watch his trainings as well when you had nothing on.

Secondly, Jungkook was one of the most hardworking and disciplined individuals that you have met.

Every footwork drill, punishment or endurance runs, he took it seriously. He always gave it his 110%. Even when you knew he was near his limit, he never slacked.

Thirdly, Jungkook was cute when he was in the zone.

His eyebrows always scrunched together, sometimes he would bite his lip for extra concentration. He would whisper to himself after his attempts or runs, possibly correcting himself or encouraging himself.

You knew he was his harshest critic. You could see it in his training etiquette.

From an athlete to another, Jungkook was a very respectable athlete - in both fitness and character.

Eventually, this became routine between the both of you. You would watch each other’s practices whenever you had the time. Jimin and Yoongi had gotten used to the scene as well.

Both would tease the both of you separately, “Look who’s here.”

“Shut up.” You both would say to them, trying to fight the smile that wanted to break through.

“You know, people will start thinking that we’re dating.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing, now would it?” Jungkook tilted his head, a cheeky grin on his face as he tossed you a cold unopened bottle of water. His reply sent your heart fluttering. He knew his way with words.

“It’ll kill your popularity with the public. Everyone will lose hope and stop pining after you.” You said dramatically after taking a big gulp of the refreshing water.

“Still don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

“You know, you’re a real flirt Jeon Jungkook.”

He grinned cheekily, “Only when I want to.”

He definitely knew his way with words, and possibly, his way to your heart.

—

Jungkook started asking you out for lunch and dinner over the weeks, including the weekends. It was refreshing seeing you two not dripping in sweat from training. And he cleaned up well.

Although the rugby finals and cheer nationals were just around the corner, you both tried to find spare time to hang out. It felt like a stress-reliever. You both needed it. Jungkook knew he needed and wanted it. He always wanted to see you.

You were both at an open field, lying next to each other, bodies facing up as you enjoyed the night sky. Silence engulfed the both of you as you relished the tranquility of the night.

With hectic schedules, you appreciated times like this when you didn’t have to think about something so serious like competitions and expectations.

You were grateful that you made it to the Final 20 but it was still stressful knowing that there are high expectations for your team to defend your title.

It was the same for Jungkook.

“This feels great, doesn’t it?” He was the first to break the silence.

You turned just your head to admire his side profile as his eyes remained glue to the starry night.

“It does.”

Jungkook paused before continuing the conversation, “You know, I didn’t actually play Spin the Bottle that night. I just drank every time it was me, just wanted to please Woohyun.”

Confused, you weren’t sure why Jungkook had brought that up out of the blue. “Why are you—”

“I just wanted you to know. Felt like you had to know.” He shrugged his shoulders, pressing his lips into a tight line. “Didn’t want to send mix signals.”

“Mix signals?” You turned around, lying on top of your stomach as you got up on your forearms. You had a hunch of where this conversation was heading, but you didn’t like to be one making assumptions. Jungkook turned his head to face you, “I’m into you. I always like being with you and I hope you feel the same way.”

Nothing came out of your mouth. You were stunned by his sudden confession. Your eyes remained on his face as he kept a soft smile, with not a single ounce of regret on his face.

“I… I like being with you too.” You replied shyly, shuffling back down to lie down on your back next to him, not daring to make eye contact.

Next to you, Jungkook let out a short chuckle. He decided not to push it for that night. But it was enough to know that things were going right between the two of you.

“I never shared this with anyone but, sometimes, I do feel like quitting rugby.”

You were taken aback by his sudden change in topic but didn't to roll with it

“Why?”

He took a while to respond, formulating his thoughts into sentences. “The expectations get too much sometimes, especially as one of the labelled star players.” He scoffed, as if he was laughing at the term, or himself.

“I’m sure as the Final 20 in cheer you feel that expectation as well.”

You didn’t give a verbal reply, only nodding your head as you turned your head back to face up to the sky.

Jungkook didn’t need a verbal reply, he knew you felt the same.

“It’s suffocating. But right now, I feel like I can take a deep long breath, and not worry about making a mistake or slowing down.”

Just as he said that, he took a deep inhale, letting out his breath through is mouth.

“That felt good to let out. I never wanted to share this with others because I’m afraid they’ll think that I’m taking my position and skills for granted.”

“Yea I get what you’re saying.” You assured him and he smiled, turning his head to face you. You heard the shuffling sounds and you decided to face him as well, momentarily freezing when your eyes finally met his.

“But it feels like I can talk to you about anything. It feels nice to talk to you, yn.”

You were once again lost for words, feeling your cheeks grow hot as your eyes remained locked in his gaze.

“I feel safe with you.”

—

It was the final championship match for rugby. Your cheer team was once again there, to root for your college - you and Jimin were specifically rooting for Yoongi and Jungkook.

The whole venue was excruciatingly loud and tense. Both colleges with great support backing them. The match was very close and you could tell how they seemed more tired than other games. The nerves and the physical demand was getting to them.

Your coach yelled, calling their hands to get your attention. “Come on guys, time to boost their morale”

With your pom poms in your hands, your cheer team gathered, facing your side of the bleachers, enthusiastically cheering the campus cheers and getting the crowd to join in.

It was followed by simply stunts and routines to get the atmosphere more lively and ready for the game to resume.

As the players passed by your team, you all wished them good luck.

“Good luck, Yoongi!”

“Good luck, Jungkook!” You exclaimed encouragingly, shaking both your pom poms his way as he turned around to see you. He winked at you, mouthing the words ‘thank you’ before they made their way to the field.

“You’re drooling.”

Jimin’s voice taunted you from the side, You elbowed his side, “You’re doing the same.”

“Touche.”

As the timer reaches the end, your side erupted in the loudest of cheers, you happily screaming along with the crowd. This win felt different from all the different times your cheer team supported them. Your college managed to defend their title, winning the championship for the season.

When the players returned to the benches and huddled for a group photo together, Jimin whispered, “Why don’t you go up and congratulate him?”

“Hush, Jimin, not in front of everyone.”

“Come on, don’t be shy. I know you like him.”

“We’re just close friends.”

Jimin scoffed, his index finger pointing to you and himself, “You and I are close friends. You and Jungkook however, are idiots who don’t want to admit that you guys like each other.”

“Shut it!” You sighed, lightly hitting him with your pom poms. When you turned around, Jungkook had already made his way to you. “You were cheering really hard back there.”

“Just for you.”

Just for me?” He raised his eyebrows, a smug look on his face as he stepped closer, “Yoongi’s gonna be devastated knowing that—“

“Actually my cheers were for Yoongi but I didn’t want you to feel upset or forgotten.”

Jungkook frowned and you really wished you had the guts to just kiss him right there, your eyes flickering to his pink soft lips.

“I’m kidding, don’t cry, not when you just became a champion.”

Jungkook laughed heartily before leaning towards your ear, “I’m already a champion having you on my side to cheer me on.”

—

Attention immediately shifted to your team for the upcoming nationals which was just a week after Jungkook’s finals.

You guys had constant past few runs leading up to the final day and everything felt like it would go well. The biggest obstacle was controlling your mental state during the day itself.

The night before, Jungkook had sent you a lengthy good luck message as he reminded you that he would be there.

You slept peacefully that night and woke up to read his message in the morning once again. You had your own cheerleader this time.

Everything seemed to go by quickly, the warm ups and runs backstage while waiting for your team’s turn. You had not met Jungkook or Yoongi since you were preparing backstage with your team, focused on getting into the right mental state.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when it was finally your team’s turn to perform.

The sun was scorching hot and there were many spectators. You stood in formation with your teammates as you waited for the song to play.

It felt way different than last season. Even though you were there last season to support the performing team, it truly felt different to be the one about to perform on the mat. With all eyes on you, carefully watching for any mistakes or mishaps. The heat already making you sweat when you stepped onto the stage.

But once the music played, that was all you could focus on.

Bright smiles plastered on all your faces as you went through the routine. A silent celebration in your head every time your team successfully pulled off a stunt.

Quick gazes made on the mat as you constantly changed formation. Encouraging looks and the sounds of the encouragement on the mat from your teammates to get you through the routine.

And just like that - it was your ending pose. Heavy pants surrounding you as your gaze locked on the audience. You all broke character afterwards, squealing and hugging each other for not screwing up the pyramid and the routine.

It felt good.

In fact, it felt amazing.

Jimin yelled your name, pulling you in for a tight hug, “We did it!”

“I know!”

Once all the teams had finished, the top 2 teams were announced and your college name was called out.

In front of the entire crowd, you hold intertwined your hands, head hung low and eyes shut right as you awaited for the results. The cheerleader holding the 2nd prize trophy walked back and forth between the two college teams as the announcer evilly drags on the result.

Your heartbeat was pounding loudly and you could feel it in your head, all your hands clasped together were clammy from nervous sweat.

Jungkook’s hopefully eyes stayed locked on your figure as he waited for announcements from the crowd.

The other college was called and your entre team’s knees went weak, buckling as some immediately fell to the ground.

Deafening screams erupted as you were pulled into a big group hug, you guys had just defended your title.

Your team was the reigning national champion once again.

Tears were falling as everyone congratuler each other. Your coach and assistant coach ran up to mat to join the group hug as your team proudly accepted the winning trophy.

You had made your way off the stag to reunite with the other cheer members as the public slowly started to approach you for a team photo.

With tears all over your faces, you posed for the group photos as thanked all your teammates with a big hug.

“Yn!”

You heard his voice amongst the chaos.

You felt yourself immediately searching for the familiar pair of eyes in the crowd. The moment your eyes landed on him, you rushed up towards him, his arms wide open ready to accept you.

Jungkook pulled you in for tight embrace, repeatedly saying “congrats, you did it, I know you guys would win”. Tears flowed down your face once again still not believing what had just happened.

It felt so surreal and yet being in Jungkook’s embrace felt even more surreal. It was as if you were in a dream.

“Congrats yn!” You heard Yoongi’s voice from behind Jungkook.

You pulled away to see not only Yoongi but the entire rugby team with him. They were cheering proudly, chanting your college’s name with pride. Your eyes immediately farted back to Jungkook who had kept his arms around you.

“Did you…?”

“Yes, I convinced everyone to come. They’d be missing on such a stellar performance.”

As if your grin couldn’t get any bigger, your broke into a euphoric laugh, “You’re amazing.”

“You’re calling me amazing? After what your team had just displayed back there? You must be blind—“

Maybe it was the adrenaline rush, the high influx of dopamine from winning the competition and from being in his embrace. It didn’t matter, when your lips met his, you knew that was all that mattered at that moment.

You felt Jungkook lean into the kiss, his arms pulling you closer to his body. Both of you could hear your cheer team behind you and Jungkook’s rugby team behind him, both cheering your names.

You guys laughed into the kiss when you heard Yoongi and Jimin loudly expressed their thoughts. “It’s about time.”

“I swear I thought they’ll never get to this stage.”

—

His bright and welcoming smile never failed to make your day, no matter how tired you were. You never thought that you’d love going for rugby practices and matches. It was the complete opposite scenario from the beginning of the year.

But now, it never got boring to watch your boyfriend get into his sport. You would always tell him that he looked attractive when he was serious. You enjoyed doing that because it always made him fluster and fumble over his words.

“I-I don’t… Nah… I don’t look cute when I’m serious.” He would adjust the neckline of his shirt, trying to maintain a nonchalant expression on his face.

“You’re finally done.” You made your way down the bleachers, “I’ve been thinking about dessert the past 30 minutes.”

Jungkook nodded his head, extending his arms out to pull you into a sweaty hug. He placed a light kiss on your forehead, pulling back slightly to get a better view of your face.

“Ice cream?”

Deja Vu.

You remembered the first night you hung out with Jungkook after meeting him at the after party. When you were at the bus stop ready to go home.

WIth a grin, you leaned in to kiss his soft lips lightly, “I’m down.”

[chippedaxe]

can u do a part 2 if 'hate is a strong word' maybe with some nsfw

╭⋟──────────────────╮

Title: Hate Is A Strong Word P2

Warning(s): cursing, NSFW, arguing, fighting etc.., praising, degrading, maybe a bit of humiliation? Idk. , unprotected sex

Pronouns: They/them, afab

Synopsis: You and Karl end up arguing after you get jealous, resulting in sex between the two of you.

Pairing: c!Karl X Dom! Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Part 1: Hate is A Strong Word (sfw)

Note: unedited*

- If some words don't make sense or spelling is wrong than sorry, I'm too lazy to proof read and edit my fics.

- written in my notes app

╰──────────────────⋞╯

Karl put his hands up in defeat “I don’t understand why you’re so angry about this! I promise to you that nothing else happened!” Karl shouted “oh yeah? Then where’d you get that love bite from??” You pointed out a red mark on his neck “it’s a mosquito bite!” Karl argued back, you took a step towards him “oh? You’re calling Sapnap a mosquito now?”

“No! It really is just a mosquito bite! Please trust me on this!” Karl moved away from you “you know why I don’t like you seeing Sapnap!” You were on the verge of tears “holy shit- are you crying? Babe, I’m sorry I made you feel like this..” Karl approached you.

You got ready to fight and put your hands up “I’m not trying to hurt you, can I please just give you a hug? You’re not in the right headspace right now..” Karl reached his arms out to you. You lowered your defenses and looked away as you allowed Karl to embrace you.

“Why would you go out of your way to ignore my feelings? I told you to leave Sapnap alone for a reason!” You exclaimed “I know! I tried to avoid him but I couldn’t help running into him” Karl apologized “if I go to Las Nevada’s and talk with Slime boy- will he be able to truthfully tell me that nothing happened between you and Sapnap?” You started to cry.

“I wish you could just trust what I’m saying! Of course Sapnap and I did nothing!” Karl frowned “prove it! Kill him or something! Burn his house down!” You were hysterical “you know I can’t do that! Look- let me just make it up to you, do you want me to get you something to eat?” Karl caressed your cheek.

You slapped his hand away “if you want my forgiveness than you better listen good!” Karl’s ears perked up and he started listening right away “I’m gonna go to the kitchen and get a glass of water and when I come back I want you to be stripped naked on that fucking bed, alright?” You crossed your arms.

“W-what? Of course!” Karl’s cheeks heated up and he was quick to follow your instructions, struggling to pull off his clothes as you left the room. You walked down the stairs and slowly made your way to the kitchen, maybe you had just been overreacting but you wouldn’t let Karl know that he was right.

You grabbed a glass and poured yourself some water, sipping from it slowly while thinking about the whole situation. Sapnap was 100% trying to make you jealous so you knew you’d have to work harder to get him back!

You returned upstairs, opening the door and being met with Karl’s naked body spread on the bed. He opened his legs up shyly to you, revealing his hard erection he had gotten “oh baby.. look at you, you’re so gorgeous..” your lips pursed into a small smile.

“T-thank you Y/n..” Karl glanced away from you timidly, you walked over and crawled onto the bed. You began to slowly strip yourself of your clothes, pulling your blouse over your head and shimmying your pants to the floor.

Karl looked up at you, mesmerized by the way your body looked in the lighting “oh you’re so handsome..” Karl mouthed out to you quietly. Karl reached out to touch you but you slapped his hand away “no touching, this is supposed to be your punishment” you told him off for it.

You got between his legs and stared up at him intently, he looked down at you and puffed his cheeks out “well- are you gonna do anything?” He asked. “Not if my out keep being impatient, Karl!” You furrowed your eyebrows “okay okay- sorry darling..” he kept quiet and shut his mouth.

“Good boy, now stay still and keep your hips on the bed” you instructed him as you slowly leaned forward and licked a line up his shaft. He gasped and whines softly, covering his face up in embarrassment “you look so fucking pretty like this, why are you hiding from me?” You took his hands off his face.

His face was a pure red colour, sweat dripping down his forehead “I’m so embarrassed..” he mumbled. You brought your hand up and groped his balls for a moment, relishing in the way his body reacts to you “s-stop that feels weird!” Karl pleaded for a moment “do you really want me to stop?” You asked him again.

He kept quiet for a few seconds “n-no..” you smiled in delight and continued your actions. Karl bucked his hips up against your hand which resulted in you pinning his hips down “if you can’t stay still then I’m gonna have to tie you down- would you like that?” You threatened him “n-no please.. I can be good for you!” He gasped.

You nipped on the soft skin of his thighs, leaving a large bite on one of them. It started to bleed a bit so you just licked it up, Karl winced and closed his legs around your head “that feels weird!” He said out loud.

You rubbed and caressed his thighs gently “sorry baby..” you cooed, you got on top of him and straddled his lap. You grabbed the back of his head and brought him closer to you so you could have better access to his neck, kissing and sucking the light skin.

You tried not to give in to your thoughts but you couldn’t help but take a bite, ripping a loud moan from Karl’s mouth “ah!” He moaned. You pulled away and the both of you just stared at each other awkwardly for a moment “t-that felt good..” Karl admitted.

You went back to your work, marking up Karl and biting him whenever you felt like it. When you leaned back and admired him is when you saw how red his neck was now, you clenched your thighs together and gulped nervously as you realized you may have liked this more than you thought.

“P-please..” Karl begged “hm? Please what?” You asked “please ride me- or let me fuck you!” His hips rutted away against the air desperately “why should I give you anything you want? You were being so bad today!” You reminded him “please? I can be so good for you! I-if you let me touch you than I can prove it!” He pleaded.

You sighed and gave in to his demands, getting off him and laying down on the bed so he could touch you. Your skin was bare and the gust of cold air coming from the window every so often would make your nipples harden, you held onto a pillow gently as you felt Karl part your legs for you.

Karl licked his lips “this looks like the best meal I’ve ever seen in my entire life..” he commented as he stared at your wet folds, his fingers opening you up. Karl slid between your legs and stuck his tongue out, licking along your slit and moaning at the taste.

“Oh you taste so good.. how could I ever want to eat anything else?” Karl’s arms wrapped around your thighs to keep you glued against his face “a-ah! H-hey Karl, slow down!” You gasped, your hand grasping onto his hair which only encouraged him to go faster.

His tongue slid deep inside of you, exploring your fleshy wet cave. Your pussy clenched around him, your clit rubbing against his face as he worked hard to please you “I’m close..” you let Karl know. You released on Karl’s face and threw your head back, your legs shaking a bit as he continued to eat you out through your orgasm.

“Alright.. you earned it- come here big boy!” You invited him to fuck you, opening your legs wide enough so he could get buried deep in you. Karl quickly got to it, his cock sliding into your wet sheath and being surrounded by your warm walls.

Karl thrusted in and out with no pattern whatsoever, rutting into you harshly like an inexperienced teenage boy “y/n!” Karl moaned out your name as he started to go faster. Karl put his hand above your head to stabilize himself and keep him from falling over.

“P-please let me cum inside of you, please!” Karl begged “fuck- go ahead!” You arched your back and allowed Karl to cum inside of you. His load being shot deep inside of your vagina, coating your thick warm walls with his white semen.

Karl pulled out and flopped on the bed, panting heavily as he tried to rest “don’t go to sleep now! You still have a long day ahead of you, go get dressed you bum!” You sat up and encouraged him to get out of bed.

Karl groaned and got out of the bed, his legs shaking a bit as he stood up. He walked over to his dresser and began to get dressed, pulling his hoodie over his head and slipping on some pants. You felt lazy so you just threw a big shirt on and a pair of shorts, the two of you now dressed and ready to take on the world.

You finally got the idea to what your great genius plan to get Sapnap back was! You looked down at the ground and sighed, turning your head to face Karl and tell him what was on your mind.

“You know what, Karl baby? I want you to go see Sapnap right now and tell him how sorry I am for overreacting” you smirked. Karl had most likely thought you were turning a new leaf, being the bigger person when really you were just fulfilling your master plan.

Karl was littered with hickies and love bites all along his skin, you couldn’t miss them! Even his oversized hoodie couldn’t cover the marks up! Your plan was to expose his marks to Sapnap so he would finally see that Karl was yours and yours alone! Hopefully it’ll work.

[helliontherapscallion]

Lost Time (The Ashes of Yourself Part 2)

Part 1     Part 3    Part 4

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: mentions of suicide attempts/ideation, swearing, daddy/abandonment issues

Word count: 3,879

You and Techno stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, both of you not knowing what to say to each other. So much was left unsaid between you two throughout your childhoods and the past four years that you didn’t know where to even start. You supposed a simple ‘how are you?’ would suffice, but that’d be too simple, far too simple for not talking to each other in literal years. But you couldn’t just say ‘hey, I’m incredibly jealous that you are Dad’s favorite and I totally didn’t send you my suicide note that you may or may not have seen’, that’d be way too much trauma dumping for your taste. You couldn’t think of anything else to say, so you chose to sheepishly grin at him and awkwardly wave. 

“Heh uh, how’re you…?” Smooth, (y/n). Real smooth.

You watched as he furrowed his brows slightly before he hesitantly gave you a small wave with his gargantuan pink hand. “...I’m doin alright. You?”

“I’ve seen better days.”

“Right…”

An awkward silence fell over you two as you glanced down at your bloodied hands. “Sorry bout the blood. It won’t really stop until I stop moving.”

He shrugged, “that’s fine. I’ve bled everywhere in this house. Nothing that won’t come out.”

“Alright then.”

You wanted to crawl into a pit and just let yourself die, you hated this awkward atmosphere you created. Your mind scrambled to find something to say to the man other than a stupid ‘alright then’. You haven’t even seen him in four years, surely you would be able to find something to talk about. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard him clear his throat.

“I uh got some clothes for you. They’re Tommy’s old clothes from when he stayed with me during his exile. I don’t know if they’ll fit, but I’m guessing that they’re better than the wet ones you’re wearing.”

When he saw you wince when you tried to stand up, he rushed to your side and helped you stand up. You could feel the backs of your knees start to drip blood. “Do you have any spare lava?”

His hands paused on your upper arms, “yes, but why would you need it?”

“It kinda heals me. I mean, just enough that my skin stops cracking open and bleeding everywhere.”

“Why don’t we just take you to a lava lake in the Nether?”

You glanced out the window at the flurry of snowflakes falling to the ground and being whisked off to other places by the harsh wind. You shuttered, remembering what it felt like to be fully engulfed in water. “Water hurts. I don’t want to get burnt out again.”

“Right, I’ll go get a few buckets full. Stay here,” with that, he ushered you to sit in front of the fire once again and draped the large blanket over your shoulders again. You could hear him move to another room and rustle around what you presumed was a chest before you heard his heavy footsteps walking behind the couch. You could hear the billowing of the wind when he opened the door before it was cut off by the door closing. 

You leaned forward and put your hands in the fire, relishing in the feeling of the flames melting away the charred skin slightly. The flames licked and caressed your dark skin slowly giving you more feeling back in the damaged tissue. As you were turning your hands over the flames, you thought about your voluntary near death experience just about an hour before. 

The thought of the ocean finally taking you and dragging your charcoaled corpse into its depths never to be seen again was alluring. After feeling the intense pain and the suffocation that came with chucking yourself into the ocean when you’re part blaze was definitely a deterrent, but you just had to push through the pain. This was something you’d dreamt of doing since you were fifteen and you’d be damned if you were going to let pain stop you. 

You know you felt sort of… grateful that Philza saved you when you were laying on that beach, but now that you had time to reflect on what happened, you felt resentful that he did. Of course he’d take away the only good thing you had going on in your life, he was full of audacity and impudence when you were a kid. He hasn’t changed at all much to your disappointment. You shouldn’t have expected him to change in the first place, that was just something that you knew in the back of your mind would never happen. A large part of you craved his approval and affection, but you knew that wouldn’t happen. 

Your thoughts were cut off by someone pulling you back gently from the fire. “I got the lava. Uh, I can set up an area for you downstairs with netherrack.”

“No, you don’t have to, I just have to put it on my joints for a few minutes.”

“Don’t you want to, uh, fully cover yourself?”

“I can hold off until the snowstorm dies down. It’s nothing too major.” You dipped your hands into the large bucket of lava and sighed in relief, “that’s much better, thank you Technoblade.”

“It’s no problem, but you literally just almost died. How is that something that’s ‘not major’?”

“I’m used to… well, this,” you took a hand out of the lava and gestured to your stone covered arm. “It’s just more than I’m used to. Kinda uncomfortable, but I’ll live.”

“What do you mean you’re used to it? You don’t live by water do you?”

“Yeah, I live by the ocean so I’m bound to get a little charred. No big deal,” you took your hands out of the bucket, shook the excess lava off, and stuck your elbows in. You looked at your now dully glowing hand and wiggled your fingers. There were more blackened scars etched into your skin on your joints, but you didn’t care.

“Heh? Why the hell would you live by an ocean?” 

You wove your hands nonchalantly in the air, “I always liked how the water looked when the sun set. The way that the pinks and yellows would reflect and bounce off the waves? Breathtaking.” You also lived by the ocean so that you had an easy way out of living, but you weren’t about to tell him that. Too much trauma dumping.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“Have you ever seen the sun setting over the ocean?” You rose a brow at the piglin hybrid sitting on the couch. 

“Well, no but-”

“Then you can’t knock it till you try it. I’ll take you to my old place after I can take a proper lava bath. You won’t regret it, promise.”

“Still, you’re literally made of fire. Look what happened to you… Er, speaking of, how’d this happen?” He looked you up and down inquisitively with his red eyes. 

You sighed as you took your elbows out of the lava and dipped your feet into the buckets. “...Do you still have your communicator?”

You watched as his floppy ear flicked and his eyebrow rose at you, “...Yes, but I only talk to Dad. Why, did you leave me a message?” Before he could stand up to grab his communicator, you stopped him with a hand on his shin. “No, I didn’t. I was just wondering.”

He didn’t look convinced, “...tell me what happened. Were you pushed?”

Your shoulders tensed up against your will before you forced them to relax. “I fell in, got too close to the edge.”

“You’re so lucky Dad was already at your house, you could’ve died. How could you be so careless?” 

You only responded with a blaze-like frustrated grunt that rumbled in the back of your throat and removed your feet from the buckets. Picking up one of the buckets, you took a swig of the lava. The viscous liquid crawled slowly down your throat and soothed your burned esophagus and stomach. Clearing your throat, you looked over to your estranged brother. He was looking at you with disgust, his snout scrunched up slightly and his mouth twisted into a grimace.

“What?” Your voice sounded less strained and scratchy. Overall, it felt better to speak.

“Your- your feet were just in there. That’s disgusting.”

You blew out a puff of smoke and watched as it drifted to the ceiling, “my feet were just in water, remember? They’re clean. And besides, I swallowed and inhaled a lot of water so I needed it. I mean, my lungs are still stone, but there’s nothing I can do about it except wait it out.”

“That’s still gross. Wait, can you not drink water?”

“No- well technically I can, but it hurts. Gimme one sec.”

He was quiet as he watched you take a deep breath and dunk your entire head into the lava bucket you weren’t drinking from. His youngest sibling was… strange, but he found that he enjoyed your company so far. The only company he’s had at his cabin recently was his brothers and dad, which burned him out slightly with their big personalities. You were as awkward as he was and that was refreshing. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty after hearing the majority of yours and Philza’s argument. Now that he thought back on his childhood, the majority of his memories were of him and Philza. He didn’t have many negative memories past his adoption, and that was because he spent all of his time adventuring with Philza. He did everything with his adoptive father and absolutely nothing with his siblings. He knew nothing about Wilbur, well Ghostbur now, or Tommy until they stayed with him during Tommy’s exile. He’s never talked to you or spent any time with you before, and he wanted to get to know who you were. He wanted to make up for lost time.

After you were under for a while, he started to worry that you drowned yourself. Just as he was about to pull your head out of the bucket with a hand close to your forehead, you slowly removed your head from the lava and held it over the bucket so that the excess would drip off from you. Panting slightly, you sat up fully and wiped your eyes clean of the lava. You could hear some rustling in front of you so you opened your eyes to see your brother holding out clothes to you. 

“Go change, I’ll make dinner. There’s a spare room upstairs, second door on the left. You can stay there for now.”

You hesitated before you took the clothes from him, “I… Thank you Techno.” You weren’t expecting him to be so kind to you, he was known as the blood god after all. He was ruthless when he battled, leaving thousands without families. You saw him a couple of times when you were younger coming home with Philza covered in blood with a malicious expression on his face. That always made you try to avoid him; not that you had any difficulty doing that, he was never home. 

He curtly nodded before he turned to walk into where you assumed was the kitchen. You trudged up the stairs and tiredly drug your feet down the hallway towards the second door on the left. When you opened the door, you were pleasantly surprised. You didn’t know what you were expecting to see, but it certainly wasn’t this. It was simplistic, yet it looked like a professional decorated it.

The bed looked incredibly comfortable and soft with a large white comforter draped over the top. At both sides of the headboard, twin chests sat underneath double hung windows with wooden frames that matched the spruce planks that made up the walls. You were sure that once the relentless snowstorm stopped you would be able to see a spruce forest in the distance. Lanterns hung at the far corners of the room opposite of where the bed sat. Glancing at the opposite wall, you saw a framed portrait of a nether fortress. You assumed that it was the nether fortress on the other side of his portal. If you squinted, you could see orange specks that you assumed were blazes. 

After you got dressed, you were pleasantly surprised to see that Tommy’s clothes fit you. Despite the slight bagginess of the pants and the sleeves of the jumper hanging halfway past your hands, they fit relatively well. Humming in satisfaction, you hung up your wet clothes to dry and made your way downstairs following the savory smell of cooking meat and potatoes. Your mouth watered at the smell, it’s been a while since you’ve eaten an actual meal. You’d just been surviving on an apple a day with the occasional potato when you had some leftover from making homemade vodka. 

You walked into the kitchen and looked at your brother standing at the stove, the stove looked miniscule compared to his seven and a half foot tall form. That man was a giant and you wouldn’t be lying if his height alone didn’t intimidate you slightly. If he wanted, he could grab your entire face with his hand. Various light pink scars decorated his muscular arms that poked out from the rolled up sleeves of his blouse. He wasn’t wearing his huge fluffy cloak, instead it was draped over the back of one of the chairs at the large wooden dining table. Every part of your body wanted to take it, wrap yourself up into a blaze hybrid burrito, and take the best nap you’ve ever had. His corseted form moved gracefully around the kitchen grabbing various spices and herbs. 

You saw his ears twitch before he moved his massive head  to look back at you, you could see the corners of his mouth quirk up ever so slightly. “They fit you, that’s good. Take a seat, dinner's almost ready.” With that, you took a seat at the table. You felt like a child again, the table was huge, the tabletop coming up to your lower chest. The table and chairs were made of what looked like dark oak wood. The wood was carved intricately with complex patterns etched into the frame and the back of the chairs. 

You eyed the cape draped over the chair next to you. It was a deep royal red with black speckled white fur lining the border of the fabric. If you looked closely, you could see that the pendant that connected the two ends was made of gold and had a diamond encrusted center. It looked incredibly soft, it would be so easy to just reach out with a finger to pet it. Your brother wouldn’t notice if you did it quick enough so that you could touch it before he turned around. When you gathered the courage to touch the cloak, you reached out with a slightly shaking hand to pet the fur, watching Technoblade the entire time. 

Everytime he would move to grab a spice, you would quickly retract your hand and try to act as innocent as possible only to try again after he didn’t turn around again. Just as you finally touched the fabric, you were in awe with how soft it was. It was like petting a newborn puppy but better. You truly couldn’t put into words how soft it was. 

You were snapped out of your trance by a small chuckle, “soft isn’t it?” You jumped, quickly retracting your hand and smacking your head against the back of your chair in the process. You could feel your cheeks heat up more than they usually did, you could see the glow of orange intensify at the bottom of your vision. Your brother was staring at you with amusement, his mouth quirked up in a small smile. He was carrying two plates full of steak and potatoes, putting one in front of you before walking to sit opposite of you. 

“Uh, yeah. It- it’s really soft.” 

“I got it from a nation thousands of blocks from here, it wasn’t easy to get. Those guards were not happy to see me stealing from their king.” He chuckled before he started to eat his food. 

“Is that where you got the crown too?”

“No, Dad got it for me as a going away present when I moved out… You’ve grown up so much since I’ve last seen you. I remember when you barely reached my waist and now you’re only about a foot and a half shorter than me.” 

“You’ve gotten taller also, more scars too.”

“You as well. Are all those from water?” 

“Yeah, it only scars when I crack the stone on my skin though.”

“Ouch. So like you get scars whenever you move?”

You shrugged, “basically.” Turning to your plate, you struggled with not wolfing down the entire thing in one go. You didn’t want to have your brother get the impression you had bad table manners. Wilbur raised you better than that. When you took a bite of the stake, you moaned slightly at the taste. Quickly swallowing your mouthful, you looked at your brother with wide eyes. “Ender Tech, where’d you learn to cook? It’s delicious.”

He gave you a small bashful smile and shrugged, “when you’ve been living alone for this long you pick up on a few things.”

“I’ve been living alone for about a year now and I still can’t cook.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, “well what do you eat then?”

“Just an apple a day, maybe a potato too if I have any to spare.”

He narrowed his eyes, “how the hell are you still alive? That’s hardly enough.”

You blankly stared at your plate, “I’ve been asking myself that everyday, things aren’t… amazing living alone. Uh, let’s talk about happier things. I wanna get to know you.”

He stared at you for a while before he sighed, “fine, but we’re talking about this later. How do you wanna go about getting to know each other?”

“It’s gonna be hard cuz we have like seventeen years to catch up on, but I think we can do it. Let’s… let’s play the favorites game. We take turns naming a category and we both say what our favorite thing in that is. I’ll start, what’s your favorite type of mythology? Like Greek, Egyptian, Norse…”

His eyes lit up at the mention of mythology, “I like Greek mythology. I can talk for hours about it.”

“Nice! I personally like Norse mythology better, we have to exchange myths sometime.”

“My turn, what’s your favorite myth?”

You matched his excitement, “I really like the Ragnarok myth. The fact that the gods know of their impending doom and destruction and are actively working towards it is- is just really intriguing. What’s yours?”

You both abandoned your meals as your conversation diverged into telling each other various myths from your respective favorite mythologies. Your favorite ones he told you were the tales of Orpheus and Eurydice, Persephone and Hades, and Psyche and Eros. You were a sucker for romance even if the thought of you being in a relationship was something you were uncomfortable thinking about. Romance stories just made you happy to see people finding comfort and fulfillment in each other. You told him more about Ragnarok, the creation of Mjolnir, and the murder of Baldur. 

Before you two knew it, hours passed by. Your untouched dinners grew cold and the clock struck midnight startling both of you out of your story telling. You both looked at the grandfather clock then back at each other in shock, “we’ve been talking for four hours Tech.”

“Yeah, we did. It- it was nice talking about mythology. Usually people get bored when I talk about it.”

You rolled your eyes, “Ender, I know. Why don’t they find it as interesting as we do? It’s been a while since I’ve had someone to talk to, it’s nice.”

“We better go to bed, we can just eat a bigger breakfast tomorrow before we take you to the Nether and your house. You probably want to sleep in your own bed.”

You laughed nervously, “yeah about that… I don’t really have a bed anymore. Or an actual house for that matter.”

“The fuck happened?”

“I may have burnt it down accidentally.”

He was silent for a bit before he looked at you suspiciously. “Are you gonna burn my house down?” And there’s the thing you hated most when you told people of your lineage and abilities. They always believe that you’re a being of destruction and inferno. They always grow to not trust you around them or their possessions fearing you would burn them to a crisp. You cursed your biological parents daily for giving you these genes.

You shrunk in on yourself slightly, “no, I’d never do that to you. I’m in control as long as I keep my emotions in check. Can’t get too excited, scared, or happy. I just can’t do anything extreme and my temperature stays low.” 

He grunted, nodding in satisfaction. “We probably should get to sleep soon if we wanna get stuff done before the family reunion.”

“I forgot about that… Have you met the kid Phil’s gonna adopt?”

He drew in a long breath into his nose and huffed it out of his mouth. “Yeah, his name’s Ranboo. And he’s actually only about half a year younger than you are. I don’t know how to feel about him yet, but he seems like he has good intentions.”

You drug a hand through the flames idly flickering on your head, “is Phil seriously gonna adopt another kid? I don’t think it’s a good idea for him.”

“That’s what I thought, I don’t need any more orphans running around here. You, Tommy, and Wilbur are more than enough. We can talk more about this in the morning.”

With that, you picked up your plates and took them to the kitchen. Before you could turn on the water faucet, a hand on your shoulder stopped you. “I’ll get it. You can’t be around this stuff.”

“A little water won’t hurt me. It’s the least I could do, you made dinner.” 

“A little water will hurt you. Go to bed, I’ll handle this. It’s only two dishes.”

You opened your mouth to argue with him, but it snapped shut as soon as he gave you a warning look. “Go to bed (y/n).”

“...Aright, thank you for doing that. I’ll see ya in the morning.”

He grunted as you walked out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into the guest room. You walked straight to the bed and plopped down onto the surface. You felt sort of bad that you were rubbing soot off onto the white comforter from your still charcoaled skin, but it was nothing that you couldn’t clean in the morning. The bed was extremely comfortable, a stark contrast to your old one. Your old one had lumps and some exposed bedsprings sticking out of the fabric. With the weight of the heavy comforter and the plush mattress, you were out like a light.

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

 @crybabyjabby  @izzybobizzy13  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @bunnyz-pxstel  @averytiredfanfictionwriter  @dcml04  @sparkling-gayyyy  @bbigbbrainn  @thaticecreambish  @kiinokochii

Series taglist (comment if you want to be added):

@appetiteofapeoplepleaser  @misfortunatem00n  @hee-hee-haw  @bi-narystars  @akikko-yataro  @snapple311  @jo171718  @alex--awesome--22  @cinnamonmochi  @waterstrawberry  @jefferyepsteindidntkillhimself  @imamusicalnerd  @fo-love  @sylumarts  @theshitinmytrunk  @rinzyx05  @wasteofspacze  @bands-are-amazingly-addicting  @im-a-depressed-gay  @charlotte-is-missing  @s-n1428  @lifestylesleep  @dame-sunflowers  @bongwaterflavoredgatorade  @aestheticpkmntrainer  @emma-the-duck17  @pek0ra  @wreny24  @willow404  @shiningsunrises  @vanhakirja  @dont-hug-me-im-a-fander  @soulless42  @giavanna